Dai Mahou Touge

January 5, 2008

This isn’t your ordinary nor typical mahou shoujo (magical girl) genre. Yeah, it’s a mahou shoujo with a twist. A twist of blood and violence. It gives a whole new meaning and perspective to the word mahou shoujo. Though I’m not a fan of mahou shoujo genre, Dai Mahou Touge is more than just that. In fact, because of its outrageous and hilarious nonsensical comedy, it is one of my favourite animes. I could even say that this is my number 1 favourite mahou shoujo genre anime.
Unfortunately, this series is quite short. Meaning that there are only 8 episodes in total. Furthermore, each of the episodes in this OVA series is only approximately 15 minutes long. Since they show it in a 30 minute slot, we’ll get a double dose of this mahou shoujo in 1 sitting.
This series may not be suitable for younger audiences, especially little girls who love mahou shoujo genres. This is because as mentioned, there is quite an amount of blood and violence. Older audiences may find it funny but with all the bone breaking and blood spilling scenes, this show is a no no for little kids. Also, the subtitles are quite offensive in order to reflect the atmosphere. Of course, that’s what make it funny too.
So we’re introduced to this young lady, Punie Tanaka, who is the princess of Magical Land (looks like a colourful fantasy-like kingdom). Her mom, Esmeralda is the current ruler and her husband is your usual and typical submissive husband who is always fearful and does what Esmeralda says, though he looks like a punk. Thus in episode 1 we see Punie needing to become a Japanese transfer student in a Japanese high school as part of her task in order to become queen of Magical Land. Esmeralda and Punie’s dad (this guy has no official name) sees Punie off to the human world. Uh huh, Punie just crash through the palace roof and flies straight down to her Japanese high school as she introduces herself. Talk about heavenly body dropping down right in the middle of the class room.
It seems Punie is a hit with the boys because all those male losers instantly fall in love with her. However, it seems a group of delinquent school girls aren’t too fond of that blonde b*tch’s arrival (that’s what she actually said!). Led by the cigarette smoking Anego, her other group of motley crew don’t look very feminine at all. Uh huh. Downright ugly. They look like some zombie, frankenstein or punk. Yeah, Anego even has no qualms to send her underlings to beat up some weak teacher passing by.
While Punie is joyfully strolling in the park (with those loser guys watching behind the trees), Anego and co confronts Punie. However, first thing Punie did was to stretch Anego’s face! Looking for trouble. That’s what Anego would interpret. Anego and her gang are gonna cut, slice and stab her with whatever dangerous looking weapons they have (1 of them with a chainsaw?) but Punie screams to activate some magic device. Yeah, whenever Punie needs to do a henshin, she’ll say this words, "Lyrical Tokarev, Kill Them All!". Really! Soon Punie unleashes hordes of living vegetables (happy smiling vegetables, anyone?) as it pounds and covers Anego and co. In short, they lost. All the loser boys are cheering on Punie as the latter acknowledges them. Wow. It’s like a show.
Next, the school is having a school festival and Punie is excited to know the human customs. Meanwhile, Anego and co are causing their usual trouble by trying to accuse a curry stall, which is run by a student named Tetsuko, that there are cockraoches in their plate. Of course Tetsuko pleads to them saying that she has taken steps to make sure that everything’s clean and there has to be a mistake. Just as they’re gonna wreck the place up, Punie shows up and asks what’s the matter. This freaks out Anego because they lost to her, remember? With that, they quietly left. Tetsuko is very grateful and after she tells them about Anego always bringing trouble, Punie decides to be her customer. However, after tasting the curry, Punie shocks Tetsuko with this statement, "This isn’t curry. This is yellow shit". OMG! Did she really say that? Yeah, after a few more mocking sentences, Punie uses her magic to help Tetsuko out, making the latter feel a little relieved.
At the same time, Anego is running a curry stall too and they’re having a hard time attracting customers. Is threatening them to come in a good way? Then some guy in cloak is looking through a crystal ball tells them that a magic pendant (from Punie) is screwing things up and decides to give them this Evil Anizaki Doll to seal Punie’s powers. Anego agrees but then 1 of their members return and reports that Tetsuko’s curry stall is selling like hot cake! It’s bloody crowded! Looks like some celebrities are tasting the food which is getting rave reviews. Yeah, something about the vegetables are alive. Anego decides to go investigate.
Now this is the hilarious part. Outside the home economics room, Anego spots several happy vegetables dancing! The vegetables are happy to become a good curry but as they’re gonna jump into the boiling wok, the carrot hesitate. Yeah, he’s thinking is he gonna sacrifice himself to be a good curry meal. A tough potato scoffs him for being too weak and asks to bring the peeler. He’s saying they need to repay their debt to Punie and does a hara-kiri on himself with the peeler! He shaved his own skin as the other vegetables looked on in horror and respect! This is frienship…?! The carrot then pushes the shaved potato into the pot as he’s crying while the potato salutes back at him. Uh huh. After that each of them soon follow the potato. Hahaha. Bloody hilarious!
Anego has witnessed this evil magic and decides to get rid of it. But Punie arrives and decides to teach Anego and co a lesson. Another henshin from Punie but Anego isn’t worried because she shows her the Anizaki Doll. Though Punie is surprised at first, Anego orders her girls to whack her. However, this is a mistake. That’s because, without her magic, Punie is still lethal and deadly as ever. Why, she has her submissive attack and painful grappling moves! Note her voice change from that innocent squeaky high pitched tone to a dark sly scheming lower voice. Holy cow! Punie’s really good in her submissive moves. Oh here comes the pain! She can be WWE’s new superstar! Also, she has a variety of submissive moves each with different names. After Anego’s underlings are taken care off. Finally it’s Anego herself. Anego is scared to death as Punie grabs her right leg. Hahaha! Anego’s pleading to her that she’s afraid of pain and is panicking. WARGH!!! The scene changes to sunset outside as Punie stands in front of several makeshift graves. Did Anego and co died? Anyway, we see that cloaked guy is actually Punie’s dad and he is saddened that the bad girl group didn’t work. As Punie heads back to the school festival, she notices a group of guys crying because their squid isn’t selling. Punie uses her magic to help things out. Only thing is, the squid turned into a giant monster squid and is on a rampage. Ah, all in a day’s work.
Since every mahou shoujo has a magical pet, episode 2 sees how Punie got one. The episode starts off with Tetsuko rushing to school when a malnourished little chibi unicorn dog is asking for food. Tetsuko gives him a nabe and instantly he is refreshed. The dog introduced himself as Paya-tan AKA Paya (because he ends his sentences with that), that he is from Magical Land and is looking for his master. Soon Punie arrives and Paya recognizes her as they both ran towards each other and embrace. So a touching reunion and conversation like why Punie left him all alone and such. As they walk towards school, Tetsuko thinks she too would like a mascot. Paya says that she could get 1 from Waku Waku Mascot Village, since many of his buddies are there. Tetsuko is thinking all those cute anime characters like Doraemon (note the blurness is purposely done due to copyright issue).
Thus the flashback story begins. Okay, the village doesn’t seem all happy happy kinda feeling. It’s like a dead cowboy town with no law. And all of the unicorn dog inhabitants are really one kind. Rude and no manners. Punie is wearing a cloak and is walking through the town till she enters a bar and proclaims she is here to find a mascot. Everyone there laughs and mocks her. She grabs 1 of them by the arm and takes off her cloak as she says she’s not interested in garbage like them. Unfortunately, Punie’s grasp is too strong so much so that unicorn dog’s arm broke and he fainted. Oops. With that, the rest all charge towards her. As expected they’re beaten badly. Paya then comes in. Yeah, also note the tone of his low sexy voice and serious facial expression as compared to his innocent and squeaky voice. It seems Punie is looking for him, rumoured to be the king. While Paya has his usual drink, they chat as he tells her to leave. But Punie isn’t gonna leave, so Paya is thinking of settling this outside.
The 2 come face to face in the rain and Punie wants him to be her mascot. But Paya sets the rule saying that he’ll do so if she defeats him. The fight soon begins and though Punie does some submissive moves on him, it doesn’t seem to work. Yeah, Paya gives some super punch which breaks 1 of Punie’s ribs! And another to her mouth, making her spew lots of blood. Gory! In the end just when Paya thinks he has won, Punie stands up and says it isn’t over yet and that he is worthy of being her mascot as she does a head lock. At first, Paya seemed disappointed with that uneffective move, but soon feels a stinging pain in his brain. The other unicorn dogs are watching in surprise to see Paya losing. His head is as hard as a rock? Punie explains about her head lock move goes right through the joints and right through brain. Paya is bleeding profusely! Oh the blood. The other unicorn dogs run away after knowing Paya is defeated.
However, Paya notes that Punie may regret this because Paya says that she won’t have a moment of peace even if she’s sleeping or eating. Punie laughs it off and says if there isn’t at least a person who wants to kill her, how can she be called queen. In a way, I think that statement make sense. With that, Paya acknowledges her and pledges his loyalty to become Punie’s mascot with his life forever.
Back to present time, Tetsuko is shocked to hear it all as Punie and Paya are happy happy among themselves. Just when Tetsuko thinks that all that is in the past and that they’re on good terms, Paya takes out a knife and is gonna strike Punie. But Tetsuko’s scream attracted the duo as Paya hides his knife. Punie is asking what’s wrong but Tetsuko says nothing and thinks to herself that even now Paya still wants her life. Punie and Paya rushes off in a happy mood as Tetsuko still stood there in shock. Punie then remembers she didn’t use any magic today when Anego shows up and says screw her magic. Punie’s wondering why she’s still alive as Anego says back "Don’t just decide I’m dead like that". Yeah, if she’s gone, who would Punie do her submissive moves on. Besides, Tetsuko and Anego seems to have become Punie’s ‘friends’.
In episode 3, Punie and Tetsuko are walking to school together when Punie suddenly stops and puts on a serious facial expression. Tetsuko wonders what’s wrong. Punie pushes Tetsuko forward and suddenly the road in front starts to cave in! Wow! A large crater. Looks like Punie used Tetsuko as a guinea pig and even has the cheek to ask whether she’s alright and that she’ll help her in her squeaky innocent voice tone. It seems there’s somebody hiding behind a pole saying to herself that it’s her way of greeting Punie.
During P.E., Tetsuko tells Anego about this. Yeah, even Anego says including herself, many people wants her dead. Punie is gonna jump over a pummel horse when she sense something wrong again and asks Tetsuko to jump first. Tetsuko agrees and runs happily towards it. After she jumps and successfully lands, the ground caves in and an even bigger crater surfaces! Holy crap! A lady in some jester outfit named Eliz Von Barbaroque shows herself praises Punie for dodging her trap. Uh huh. Punie remembers her as Hole Digger Eli. Still pissing off people in a way, is she? Eliz wants Punie to give up being the next queen. Do you think Punie would allow that? Thus, Eliz unleashes poisonous snakes while Punie let loose cute mongoose to counter them. Tetsuko is thinking how cute those mongooses are but have second thoughts when she sees the bloody biting battle.
Since Eliz knew that they can’t decide with their magic, she decides to have a 1-on-1 combat. The duo pull off some cool moves and manoeuvres until Eliz unleashes her fake arm handcuffs trap cursed with Evil Anizaki Doll, which will seal her magic and submission moves. Tetsuko then stood up and asks why must Eliz do this and take the throne by force. A short flashback as we see Eliz’s dad was the previous ruler of Magical Land but an uprising by Esmeralda led her dad to be imprisoned and the latter ascended the throne ever since. Therefore, Eliz felt that the throne is rightfully hers. Tetsuko doesn’t believe it and wants Punie to say something. Punie replies "Your father was too weak. That’s why he was overthrown", shocking Tetsuko. Well, at least Punie’s telling the facts.
Eliz isn’t satisfied and goes on saying how her dad found it hard to find a job because he couldn’t do anything else besides being a king (hahaha) thus she wants Punie to taste her hardships and sufferings. Eliz takes out a deadly scythe as Punie’s dad is watching through some magic mirror and freaking out that her daughter’s done for. Of course Esmeralda is cool by saying that if Punie falls to such enemy, then she has no right to ascend the throne. As Eliz is gonna strike, Punie uses the handcuffs to block. Yeah, it seems that the handcuffs are no handicap for Punie as she does a spinning kick on Eliz. After a few more lectures on to rule one needs power, Punie manages to trip Eliz and grabs her left leg. Yup, it’s over. Punie does a submissive move and no matter how hard Eliz tries to hold it, eventually she feels the pain. Oh, you can hear the bones cracking. Sounds brutal. Probably that’s why they don’t want to show how Punie does her various submission moves. I mean, it’s gotta be real bad because Tetsuko soon faints. Uh huh. Real bad. We see Eliz limbs very ‘crooked’ and she is being taken away in an ambulance. Even Tetsuko quotes that if Punie used her magic, Eliz wouldn’t have ended up so bad like this.
In episode 4, Tetsuko and Anego are walking together when a pair of cute little twins, Potaru and Pyun, asks ‘the wrinkly faced, dry skinned woman’ if they have seen this girl in the photo, which is Punie. Be careful. Even though the twins are cute, they have a very sarcastic tongue. Anego is pissed off as Tetsuko tells them that they’re Punie’s friends. Anego realized that they may be Punie’s sisters and perhaps evil to the bone. The twins wants them to take them to Punie and they’re still mocking Anego when she decides to teach them a lesson. They seem so helpless and weak as Tetsuko protects them from Anego’s harm. But Anego is thinking of taking out her anger on them when Punie appears from behind and gives a good twist to Anego’s head. Thank goodness she didn’t die from that move.
Tetsuko is moved when she sees the twins are gonna give their big sis a hug but gets another rude shock when the twins take out a giant pair of scissors ready to cut Punie. Another freaking out moment for Tetsuko. It’s not good for her heart. As expected the twins wants Punie to give up her right to become queen. Punie stops the scissors with her fingers and overpowers them. She’s gonna do some scary punishment on them. The twins are trembling in fear. Erm… She just spanked their butts…?! While the twins are crying like little babies and Anego manages to fix her head back, Anego wonders why she just spanked them only but Punie says she’ll give her all when necessary.
The twins aren’t satisfied yet as the trio heads off. Paya is walking happily when the twins asks for that ‘fake nipple thing’ to come with them to some garage. As soon as they shut the door, Paya’s voice and facial expression change to that low one. He wants to know what’s troubling them. The twins say to forget about Punie and be their mascot. Paya isn’t interested and walks off. Before he does, the twins took off their gloves and reveal some ring on their finger, which shocks Paya. It seems they’re half rings and they’re gonna join them together. Paya pleads for them to stop but it’s too late. The whole garage emits some red light before exploding…?!
Punie and Tetsuko are talking on a bench when Pyun and Potaru comes by in a horse cart. Yup, Paya’s the single horse and he’s being whip badly. Oh the blood trickling down his pitiful face. Though Punie is angry, the twins also say that they’re mad and decides to unleash the ring’s fury. Looks like that ring is an A level secret magic equipment from their family called The Ring Of Immoral. Lyrical Tokarev, Destruction Of Evil! With the rings combined, it unleashed a giant dark demon named Zephiel Ietsura, 1 of the Gods from the ancient legends. Zephiel is showing off his powers by punching the ground and splitting the school building into half. Thinking that Punie can’t do her submission moves on something this big, they demand Punie to give up the throne and even tells the b*tch to kneel before them. My my. Such words at such tender age. When Punie refuses to do so, the twins order Zephiel to finish her.
Did Zephiel manage to finish Punie off in 1 single blow? Nope. Punie is seen running up his arms and before he knows it, Punie does a submissive move on 1 of his fingers. I guess this will pretty much do. Anyway it’s painful enough for Zephiel to give up and make him realize that Punie’s the witch from that time. Thus, Zephiel freaks out and quickly returns to the safety of the ring. Tetsuko who’s watching from behind the trees wonders what horrible thing she has done to that God in the past. Punie’s such a scary and dangerous person. Punie confronts the twins who are helpless now and tells them that if they ever do it again, she’ll break their joints again and again till they become piles of meat! Well, it’s enough to scare those little girls. Note that they wet their pants so much that it leaks and overflows to the ground. Haha. With that, Punie’s voice and tone return back to her innocent squeaky one and they’re all back on good terms. Tetsuko can’t believe she’s seeing all this. Magical Land is so fearsome. Damn right she is. What about Paya? He’s still lying there and as a crow pecks it head. Anego then quips that his status in this show is becoming closer to hers. Uh huh. I think nearly everyone will. So Punie has taken on gangsters, magical animals, vengeful rivals, terrible twins and even Gods. Nothing can stop her! Everybody run for your lives!
Punie, Anego and Tetsuko are walking to school in episode 5 and Anego is dreading the upcoming exams. Punie decides to show them how far she has studied and with Paya, they did some… simple multiplication table? Anego says that’s elementary level and that they’re both idiots, sending shockwaves to the both of them. Anego is bloody happy that the princess of Magical Land is an idiot when Punie does a submission move on her. However, Punie notes she has a plan.
At class, a mean lady teacher Gesoumi enters the class and tells everyone to be silent and put everything away except a pencil. Anego is a little surprised because she thought another teacher, Tateno, was supposed to supervised them. Gesoumi says Tateno is sick. Which means, Anego will have a hard time cheating. Punie asks Anego what kind of teacher is Gesoumi and the latter explains that she’s a sadist who will torture cheaters (tying cheaters naked and tickling or putting rocks on them?) and warns Punie not to cheat. During the test, Anego and co are waiting for a chance to cheat. When Gesoumi is a little distracted and not looking, Anego and co goes into action. We see them having weird places where they store their answers. One of them hit her hands until it becomes red and the answers revealed while another takes off her fake hair and another her fake tattoo.
However, Gesoumi has mirror in her specs and saw it. Gesoumi then take some chalks from her thighs and throws it at Anego and co. Hey, wait a minute. Did you notice Eliz is there taking the test there? Since when did she become a transfer student in Punie’s class? Anyway, Gesoumi says she’s gonna give Anego 1 more chance and if she wants to cheat, do it in a way which moves her soul. OMG! Gesoumi stuck her high heels on Anego’s forehead till it bleeds! Wihle Gesoumi is distracted by Anego’s commotion, Punie says now it’s the time and tells her living vegetables to come out. Haha! She’s gonna use her vegetables who claimed to have studied all night to cheat. However, after looking at the sheet, the potato says he’s unable to do so and Punie says "You piece of shit", sending the potato into shock mode. The potato decides to kill himself with a blade to atone for his sins.
Punie notes that she is out of options and sends a message to all her other vegetables that since the leader has died, the mission has finished and tells them to retreat and go back to their vegetable state. Punie then summons a magical nuclear bomb and says that if she’s found cheating, she’ll have this planet accompany her to hell. She’s serious! Eliz freaks out when she sees this and wonders does Punie wants to become a martyr just because she doesn’t understand the test. Punie is gonna press the button on her desk (where the hell did it came from?) when Paya is seen flying in an Apache helicopter with a pilot friend of his as the former tells him to hurry.
The helicopter arrives at the school and the trigger happy pilot starts firing away. Holy cow! The whole classroom is decimated! Tetsuko is hurt badly and bleeding during pandemonium as Anego, Eliz and another guy tries to bring Tetsuko to safety. Punie spots Paya giving some morse code signal. With that, Punie knows what to do. She take Tetsuko’s test paper lying on the floor, rubs her name of and writes her own name on it! How sly! Punie signals back and the helicopter soon leaves. The pilot reminisces the old days when he and Paya were together in the army fighting some war (looks like Vietnam. So funny and odd to see a unicorn dog fighting there). The pilot wonders if he’s coming back to the army but Paya says he’s a magical girl’s mascot now. As the helicopter flies into the sunset, Gesoumi wonders if somebody is using the army to cheat and realizes time is over and tells the class to hand in their papers. When the test results are out, we see Tetsuko crying on her knees because she got a zero for her test. Punie consoles her by saying that even if she’s an idiot, she’ll still be her friend. Yeah, some friend she is. I guess Eliz too failed because in the background we see her on her knees with her test paper. Anego tells Punie she did a good one. All’s well, ends well. For Punie, that is.
Even bad girls like Anego do have a crush on a boy. In episode 6, as Anego is walking to school, the boy she has a crush on, Yamada, greets her while passing by. Obviously the blushing on her face tells it all. Soon he rushes off to school. Anego says to herself that though she is in love, she mustn’t let anyone find out or else her reputation will go down the drain. Unknown to Anego, Punie and Paya are spying and has witnessed everything behind the pole. Oh oh. I know that evil scheming look.
In class while Anego is sipping her can coffee, Punie comes up to her and asks whether she’s confessed to Yamada. In Anego’s shock, she spits out her coffee and rushes somewhere else bringing Punie along. Anego wants to know if Punie has told anyone else when Tetsuko’s telling another classmate whether she heard about Anego and Yamada. Anego instantly went over there and punched Tetsuko’s face. Another bloody face. Anego admits that she’s in love but gives up because of their different background. Uh huh. Yamada’s a rich kid and grows up through a protected upbringing. Punie then tells her about things of love and being a girl when Tetsuko gives her a pair of tickets to the amusement park. Punie and Tetsuko then pushes Anego towards Yamada and tells her to invite him there.
Nervous at first, Anego manages to ask Yamada, in which he accepts. Anego (as well as busybodies Punie and Tetsuko) is in ecstasy. Anego rushes back and hugs the duo and proclaims them her best friends. She even went to apologize all the bad things she’s done to them so far. This isn’t over yet. On the day Anego is waiting for Yamada, she hears Punie’s voice and notices that the ear studs are actually some walkie talkie. Yup, Punie and Tetsuko are gonna help Anego to be successful by giving orders from behind. I can think of only disasters waiting to happen. Though Anego wants them to mind their business, she has no choice but to allow them since Punie said who are the ones who allowed this to come true.
Yamada arrives and asks what Anego wants to do. Punie suggests to ride the jet coaster, which Anego reluctantly says so. Erm… Is that ride a little too high? WAAAAAAAARGH! I think they’re coming down from the stratosphere or something because we see an airplane passing by! Anego is screaming from the top of her voice. But there are more terror rides to come. From the ferris wheel to the merry-go-round to the boat rides, they’re all too fast! While Anego and Yamada are taking a breather, Tetsuko thinks of starting ‘that’. Punie then pleads to Punie to leave her alone but Punie says the real show starts now and if Anego doesn’t go there, she’ll kill her.
That place is a haunted house. However Anego isn’t worried nor afraid of the scary man-made stuffs. It’s the unexpected thing which Punie is gonna pull that she’s worried about. Yeah, Punie’s not a human in many sense. Yamada notices Anego’s legs trembling and tells her not to worry as he’s here. Yamada then takes Anego’s hand, which Anego felt happy so much so Anego undergoes a mood swing and now thanks Punie in her mind. As they enter the pitch black room, they saw a sofa and sat on it. The sofa then gradually accelerates to the light at the end of the tunnel. As they reached the end of the tunnel, Anego opened her eyes to find herself sitting in a car driving through the night city. Punie tells Anego that she has prepared something that will shiver her down to her bones, which is an idiot driver who just got his licence and is a racing manga fan.
Holy cow! That car is Initial D’s Toyota AE86! Oh the parody. Even the background music becomes techno. That idiot is showing off his ‘super’ driving skills and is laughing like mad. Soon Anego knocks him out with a kick and takes over the driving seat. Wow! Sugoi! Anego’s got some superb driving skills as she slides and drift through the curves and corners like a pro! Such precision driving as she negotiate the turns. Hey Takumi, meet your match! There’s even that yellow sports car from Initial D for Anego to challenge side by side. Finally, Anego manages to stop the car by the side and asks if Yamada’s okay. Obviously that guy has seen Anego’s fiercesome driving skills and frantically runs out while telling her not to call him on anymore dates. Wuss. Poor Anego. Oh the heartbreak. She sat there shedding a tear saying that her first love is over. I really felt pity for her.
The next day, we see Anego spotting a meaner look with her underlings (why, there’s more of them now!) walking through the streets. Don’t mistaken this for a parade. They pass a lone innocent boy and Anego yells at him what is he looking at. Before anything else could happen, her underlings pummel the hapless guy. Pity this guy. Left alone bleeding and beaten up real badly on the streets. Guys, make sure you make a safe distance between yourself and Anego. She’s not in the mood and will not hesitate to take it out on any boys. The pangs of love. Punie says how she has become more violent and that she’ll be less popular. Anego yells back to leave her alone. I guess such a reputation fits Anego.
The principal gives Punie the green light to be the head of the sports festival in episode 7 since Punie tells her sad story that her training time on Earth will soon be over. Is the principal crying because he’s happy to know Punie is leaving soon? Oh, he doesn’t know the mess he’s getting into. On the day itself, Tetsuko finds Anego smoking underneath a tree. Anego mentions that since Punie is in charge, this year’s festival is gonna get violent. Damn right she is. Anego is participating in an egg race and she’s going psycho the things that Punie may come up with. Yeah, Aliens parody here. She thinks a face hugger Alien will burst out from the egg and cling around her face or burst out from her bloody stomach. But Tetsuko takes an egg with no worries and heads straight to the finish line. Anego is shocked to find that the eggs are normal and wonders if Punie intends to make this a normal race. That’s what happen if you’ve been around Punie for too long. Too many violent moments.
The other activities seem to be normal as well. Pyun and Potaru soon arrive to give Punie their home made lunch. Yeah, they’re still teasing Anego with names like delinquent and pig. Tetsuko is enjoying the lunch and wonders why Anego is having any. Anego soon takes a bite since she notes that there isn’t any poison. Haha, using Tetsuko as a test subject. The twins then asks Punie to let them join in the kibasen event, in which Punie agrees. Though Anego is sceptical because she thinks Punie will eventually use her magic to win, after a few touching words (like making memories with her bla bla bla) and the promise of not using her magic, Anego seems to have a little faith in her and she’s looking forward to it.
The match is about to start and Anego and co who are on the red team are feeling pretty confident when she saw Punie’s team, Anego starts to freak out. Why? Because Punie and her white team members brought real calvary horses! They don’t stand a chance. It’s like a real war and Punie gives the signal to charge forward. As expected the red team are no match for the white team and those who did well are rewarded some muffins by Punie. But it’s not over yet. Pyun and Potaru says how cocky Punie has gotten and decides to use this chance to ambush her. Yup, they’re defecting and have their own army. It’s the newly formed pink team. The red team are caught by surprise and are losing badly. Anego notices Punie’s team are off balance and also uses this chance to attack. Eventually it’s only Punie and Paya left in white team as the other teams surround them. Paya hits Punie’s horse back to let Punie escape while Paya alone is gonna take them all at once. Yeah, reminiscence of that war past thingy again. Too bad, Paya didn’t make it. Looks like his bloodied body is being speared and lifted up in the air by those barbarians.
With that, they all shift their attention to catch Punie who’s still escaping on her horse. Is this the end? Nope. Once Punie jump over a trench, we see a line of her white team members with guns ready to fire back once Punie crosses over. Since when did they get guns? The red and pink team are going down like flies as they make their retreat. In the end, we see heaps of bloodied corpses piled over each other as the narrator says how this became the first time that guns were being used in a school sports festival. It’s really getting serious. We also see Pyun and Potaru tied up and being taken to some place Punie is awaiting them. She is gonna punish them for their treachery. Note the scary monster expression on Punie’s face. However the punishment is just some soft spanking. That’s it? Perhaps it’s scary enough for those brats.
The twins are up to no good again in episode 8 as they’re tasting some cupcake they made. It must be real horrible as you can see their horrible zombie facial expressions. They’re gonna give it to Punie. Anego, Tetsuko and Punie are walking to school when they spot a commotion at their school gate. It seems there are lots of guys trying to take a peek at something. Say, isn’t that Pyun and Potaru, all grown up and sporting a busty and sexy figure? No wonder those losers are drooling over them. But it seems the trio didn’t recognize them and just left after some short praises about their bodies. Punie realizes they’re her little sisters when they call onee-tama and wonders how they become adults. They said something about some books occasionally showing up on Yahoo! Auctions.
Anyway Pyun and Potaru mentions that the reason why they can’t beat dog shit Punie (that’s what they said!) was because they were powerless kids. Soon the twins did some special moves on Punie. Why do all their moves start with Gemini~? That’s because they’re both doing it at the same time and with their powers doubled up, they’re sending Punie flying and even causing the buildings to be smashed! I can’t believe Punie is getting beaten up like this. Is she getting a taste of her own medicine? Meanwhile Punie’s dad is freaking out that his cute daughters are killing each other when Esmeralda reminds him how she became queen in the first place. Umm… Is Esmeralda sitting on him and treating him like a chair? Punie’s dad answered that’s because she’s the strongest. Esmeralda went on to say that there were stronger witches than her back then like Akko, Sally, Megu and Momo (note that these are mahou shoujos from real animes. I can’t believe they’re considered to be strong). This is the hilarious part. As Esmeralda squeezes the apple and drinks its juice while saying she got rid of everyone stronger than her, once done she throws the wrinkled apple skin away and her husband quickly gobbles it up! Eww! But funny lah! So now he’s a trash can too.
Back to the fight, it seems the twins have the upper hand. Punie goes on to tell them that she can’t defeat them and that they have the possibility to kill her and even Esmeralda. However, if they ever succeed, who shall be queen, since there can only be 1. Oh, Punie’s starting to play mind games. The twins are taken aback for a while but continues to do some submissive moves on Punie and dismiss her words. Punie then tells Potaru that she could get rid of her and Pyun at the same time to get the throne, which made Pyun back off. Paya is smiling because he knows Punie has made them suspicious of each other. Because of that, they can’t use their combined attacks anymore. Paya acknowledges Punie’s cunningness and fearsomeness and is willing to follow her to hell.
While Potaru tells Pyun not to listen to Punie and that she can only do her submission move on 1 person at a time, Punie says that she has studied their moves for 8 years and knows how to go up against them. Wait a minute. Aren’t the twins 8 years old. Meaning to say that Punie has been preparing to fight them ever since they were born. And the tactic Punie is gonna fight them with is called sisterly love. Well, I don’t see anything special about it except Punie manages to dodge all their attacks and land several powerful blows on them. With the twins down, Punie grabs Potaru’s leg first and does her submission move over and over again. Potaru is panicking so much so she over wet her pants (see the difference in the ground colour around that area?). Next, Punie takes Pyun’s leg and does the same thing. Same after effect too. Punie decides to do a finishing move called Princess 44 Hold Lock. She manages to do a submission move on both of them at the same time the way she grab, hold and lock their legs. Now it really hurts. Holy schmolly! You could see the twins sh*t in their pants like a baby! The magic wears off and the twins return to their normal size. But Punie isn’t gonna forgive them yet and that the punishment has just begun. Oh oh, it’s that monster face again. Tetsuko pleads for Punie to forgive them but it seems Punie’s punishment is just playfully tickling them. Well, urm… I don’t really know how they think but Tetsuko concludes that Magical Land is a peaceful place. I think some things are better left unexplained.
Come to think of it, I think a way for Punie’s enemies to stop attacking her is for Punie to do her painful submission move on them. I mean, after Punie does it on Anego and Eliz on the first time, they don’t really try and attack her again. Whereas for the twins, they keep coming back and eventually got a taste of Punie’s deadly attack.
However it doesn’t really end there and there’s more. There are 4 more episodes which are actually omakes (extras) and are only a minute long. Not much but it’s good for those who can’t get enough of it and for a few more laughs. I’d refer to them as episodes 9-12.
Episode 9 is the Civilization Chapter and Tetsuko gets to see what Magical Land first hand when she wonders what it’s like. Punie whisks her away there and they arrive by free falling from the sky. Isn’t that a shocking start for Tetsuko? They land on a bus (Tetsuko landed right smack onto it) which is supposed to be the Magical Land’s Light Rail. Tetsuko wonders what powers it’s run on as she opens to take a peek. To her surprise, it’s man-powered and we see some slaves turning the clogworks. Yeah, 1 even claimed that he hasn’t seen the light for 10 years! Before anything could happen, Punie suggests to take the Express. Poor Tetsuko crashing onto it again. Tetsuko notices that there’re no rail lines and looks under. To her horror she sees human feet running the train! Reminds you like The Flintstones pretty much, huh? I suppose the whole carriage is just to fit and hide their upper bodies. Hey, isn’t that twin tower behind look so much like the KL Twin Tower in Malaysia?
Episode 10 is the Society Chapter. Tetsuko and Punie are riding on a training and talking about how wonderful Magical Land is. After they’ve passed through a tunnel, the scenery changes to a desolated run down post apocalyptic one. Gangs fighting, homeless and sick people on the street, is this the bronx? Another train passes carrying many prisoners prompts Tetsuko to ask Punie what is this place. Punie replies that the gap between the rich and poor is hard to solve and thus have to get rid of them to keep the country going. Politicians should never ever say this. Ever. The train suddenly stops and a mob of angry people are gonna attack them. Punie thinks of getting rid the ‘terrorists’ with her magic but notices their shield has Anizaki powers and decides to let her fists do the talking. Yeah, more submission moves on each and every rebel. Tetsuko wonders if the kingdom is ruled by a facist as they continues their train ride to the palace.
Episode 11 is the Cuisine Chapter and the duo are taking a walk in the magic forest to hunt for some mushrooms. They heard horses neigh from a distance and we see a couple of unicorns. Why those the horn look like a penis?! Anyway Punie notes that mushrooms here grow on unicorn heads. They’re supposed to be mushrooms?! Punie goes into action as she jumps and ride on 1 of the unicorns. The unicorn recognizes Punie from last time and tries to shake her off. But Punie manages to grab its horn and we see it spewing so much blood that it causes a rainbow phenomena. As the unicorn curses Punie, Tetsuko is freaking out and saying to herself how she can’t eat that mushroom over and over again. But soon we see her eating it with Punie as Tetsuko wonders why her chopsticks are drawn to take it. Looks like even though Tetsuko’s heart is against it, her body still can’t resist that tasty treat.
Episode 12 is Esmeralda Chapter as Tetsuko finally gets to meet Punie’s mom. While they’re chatting over tea, a large explosion occurs and it seems there is an uprising by an army of magical girls! It’s a revolution! Esmeralda decides to take care of things. This is Esmeralda’s magical line, "Lyrical Tokarev, Nobody No Cry!". Hahaha. As the rebels edge closer, Esmeralda unleashes some electrical projection which defeats all the tanks, stealth bombers, F-15 jets in 1 shot. Though the place is wrecked and damaged, Esmeralda soon continues her chat and tea with Tetsuko. Unfortunately, Tetsuko is pretty shaken up as you could see her shivering and trembling. So Tetsuko, do you think Magical Land is a peaceful place now?
Overall, I kinda enjoyed all the silly and violent bloody bone breaking moments. It never ceases to make me laugh like an idiot. Punie is a character you’ll torn to love and hate. At one moment she’s so cute, innocent and loveable, the next moment she’s sly and cunning. Though some of her words like needing power to overthrow the weak may seem harsh, but if your reflect it in a way, it seems true. As for Tetsuko, poor girl. She has experienced lots of ‘indirect torment’ ever since Punie came into her life. Will she be a psycho when she grows up or can she still maintain that kind personality of hers.
The voice acting are superb to me as they fit the characters nicely. Rina Satou who voices Punie does an amazing job for her character. She also does the voice for Negi in Mahou Sensei Negima and February in Coyote Ragtime Show. Noriko Shitaya voices Tetsuko who also does Chelsea in Coyote Ragtime Show and Ururu in Bleach. I couldn’t recognize Ayako Kawasumi who does Anego because she usually does girly voice roles for famous characters like Natsuki of Initial D, Yoshida in Shakugan No Shana, Fuu of Samurai Champloo, Kaede in 2×2=Shinobuden, Osaka of Azumanga Daioh, Aoi of Ai Yori Aoshi, Tazusa of Ginban Kaleidoscope, Matsuri of Ichigo Mashimaro, Nodame of Nodame Megumi and Ruriko of Gatekeepers. To my surprise, Mamiko Noto too has a part in this as Eliz.
Both the opening and ending themes are sung by Rina Satou and the lyrics are pretty funny to know. With the innocent squeaky voice for the opening theme, which is the same name as the anime’s title, the lyrics has lines like sending one to heaven, there is only 1 way to supremacy which is submission, and I let my fists do the talking. Hahaha. Word. And while Punie is dancing with Paya in the opening credits, you could see several landmarks in Japan getting burned. People, beware. The ending theme, Hone Aru Kagiri Sakae Are, sounds like a death march song and has Rina Satou singing using her darker and cunning side voice. The lyrics has lines about bones and joints, knees bending backwards, and honour in breaking bones to their limit! I’m not sure whether to laugh or feel the pain. I’d prefer the former of course.
I kinda notice that the episode titles are pretty long, which of course is to partly serve as a joke. It’s feels like a long statement or a question and it always ends with ‘~ no maki’, meaning the volume/episode of~. Seeing that this is a mahou shoujo genre, the animation and drawing are quite colourful and bright, if you don’t mind the bloody scenes and all those bone breaking sounds.
There are many things that you can learn just by watching this anime. For instance, violence begets violence, still waters run deep as people may not be what they seem upfront, once bitten twice shy. I could go on and on but you get the point. One also don’t need to have flashy moves for self defence but enough to let one’s opponents know who’s in charge. I’m sure we all don’t want a person like Punie to become a leader in our world. Yup, it’s a sign that it’s the end of the world! Cute and ruling with an iron fist don’t seem to go hand in hand but after watching Punie, my perception changed.
All in all, I could safely say that Punie is definitely the best mahou shoujo girl out there. Though this series doesn’t make me want to go watch more mahou shoujo genres, but I’d be interested if there would be a battle royale match to see which is the best magical girl. I know where to put money on. I wonder if Nanoha can tolerate Punie’s submission moves or if Sakura could stand Punie’s harsh lines. Would Pastel Ink want to give Punie some English lessons? She’ll definitely pass. Yucie, you can’t be queen through that ‘soft’ way. Yeah, I’d like to see Punie doing her submission moves on them all. Well, like they say, no pain no gain.
Dai Mahou Touge

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