Ebiten – Koritsu Ebisugawa Koukou Tenmon-Bu

January 19, 2013

An Astronomy Club located at the basement of the school? That’s odd. Shouldn’t it be at least at the rooftop where you can have a clear view of the sky? Oh wait. Take a closer look. This isn’t really an Astronomy Club. It’s an Asstronomy Club. ASS-tronomy Club. There’s a difference in that. Despite both pronounced as Tenmon-bu in Japanese, the ‘mon’ is written in a slightly different kanji. So what is this Asstronomy Club about in Ebiten – Koritsu Ebisugawa Koukou Tenmon-Bu? One thing, as I read it seems pretty odd that it is a club for fujoshi fans. Yup. Those yaoi fetish females. I guess those hot studs making love must be like heaven, thus the stars. The ass. So what happens when somebody who is interested in astronomy joins the club only to find out it is not about the stars and constellations? What more, this new somebody is a new cross-dresser. Man, this is going to be real complicated in a fujoshi club.

Episode 1
Kyouko Todayama isn’t obviously paying attention in English class and is outright doing her own research right in front of the teacher, Shouko Oomori. She gets depressed and starts ranting about her boyfriend thingy. Thank goodness the bell just rang. Class is over. Out she happily goes. The teacher, that is. Asstronomy Club’s vice president, Hasumi Ooba meets the president of the student council, Yuka Iseda and the latter is adamant to abolish her club because it doesn’t have enough members and don’t do any productive activities. However Ooba isn’t going down with a fight as it’s a place she formed with her friends. Returning to her club room, she sees Todayama stripping Hakata Kanamori. WTF is this outrage. She also notices a first year student in an oversized uniform interested in joining the club, Itsuki Noya. She requests to write her name on the paper but Todayama isn’t going to let her join easily and wants her to pass a test. I’m not sure what’s the idea of tying Kanamori up, reading out loud her yaoi doujin with Rikei Hiromatsu before cutting her precious book up! Don’t worry, she has a couple of the same copies. That’s not the point… Noya is to assemble them together and thinking this must be some test to assemble and find harmony with the stars. Let’s say it’s all over the place so Todayama fails her instantly. However Hiromatsu points out it is much easier to read. The flow is better. It’s a yaoi doujin we’re talking about. But Todayama won’t let Noya join yet and will have to pass a second test. In this dramatic play, Ooba is dressed as Athena and narrates how Noya will have to defeat the 12 golden club members if she is to join the club. Otherwise it will be the end of Athena (cue for fake arrow to hit her chest – and die).

First up is Kanamori but because she was so annoying, Todayama agrees to help Noya out by stripping her naked!!! Noya wins without even having to lift a finger. Next is Hiromatsu in some mecha suit but she loses interest and has Noya a walkover. What the? Next is Ooba, dressed in her winter clothing. With some elaborated drama speech thingy suddenly Noya is going to face the final boss who is no other than Todayama. Noya thinks the equipment in Todayama’s hand is some Dob telescope but it seems she has modified it to something else. She shoots rock candy from it. Noya is advised to open the big box she is carrying during times of trouble and inside it is a pair of iron knuckles. One of the rock candy enters Noya’s mouth and she instantly falls asleep. With that, Todayama fails her and this means she won’t be admitted into the club. Ooba wants to know why she is so against her from joining and guess what was her reply? Because it’s fun! After much deliberation, Ooba invalids Todayama’s victory (with that scary look to make her reflect her actions), Noya’s acceptance will be decided via rock-scissors-paper. Fair game? All by chance, no? Noya wins and is given a form to fill up to join the club. Oomori the advisor comes in but she refutes she is the advisor and points that it is the cat, Neko instead and leaves. The girls think it’s her boyfriend problem thingy. The cat shreds the paper. At the end of the day, Noya thanks them for accepting her but Ooba is more thankful because of her, the club escaped abolishment.

Episode 2
In a cliché morning rush to school, Kanamori spots Neko with a bandaged on its forehead. Thinking there is some crest mark beneath it that will reveal it to be some Sailormoon thingy, she opens it only to see a different mark. I think she got the wrong cat too. In the club room, she sees Noya in a reindeer outfit. Todayama made her do it. Don’t ask. Oh, don’t forget today’s does of stripping as Todayama strips Kanamori and puts on a lewd Santa outfit so that they could go around recruiting new members. She has a bad feeling about this… Ooba sees Iseda again and the latter once more is adamant to close down her club despite having sufficient members. She shows all the complaints received. Hey wait. They all have the same date and are signed by Iseda herself! Oopsie! She felt embarrassed and guilty by her blooper till she sees Todayama and Kanamori folly. Instant change of mind. Todayama is handing out leaflets to potential members and believes nobody will recognize Kanamori in that outfit. Haha, on the contrary. So when she gets back, Kanamori feels doomed that everyone will think of her as a pervert and do something awful to her. Unfortunately her doujin mind switches on and she gets turned on by the delusion she is fantasizing. Next day in class, she is seen wearing a bunny outfit and because she is afraid of those ‘beasts’ targeting her, she’s not going to do club activities anymore. Todayama realizes the need of change in plans and makes Noya wear that skimpy Santa outfit. Oversized. Not sexy enough. Rejected. Kanamori is on the rooftop when Oomori hands her Neko. Looks like she got dumped by her boyfriend again. Heading back to the clubroom, she gets disheartened when people start staring at her. I don’t think they’ll pounce on her.

Upon opening the door, Kanamori is greeted with bad acting and voiceover that some evil has taken over Todayama’s body and is holding Hiromatsu hostage. It’s her job to save the day. Yeah, watch Kanamori transform into Tailor Moon! Tailor what? Oh, some legendary cosplay shop where you can fix any broken clothes. Haha! Anyway in this Sailormoon parody, we see Kanamori singing her own tune and using some Sailormoon parody skills to whip the evil. Too bad she got easily defeated. But she’s not giving up yet. She summons Noya as her Tailor Moon assistant to distract Todayama so that she could rescue Hiromatsu. She calls upon her other Tailor Moon mates and with the 5 of them (Hiromatsu, Ooba and Neko completing the line up – why are they named after office job positions?) vow to bring justice, blah, blah, blah. Todayama takes out her rock candy cannon and fires away. Hiromatsu is on the ‘verge of death’ so they narrate the wonderful times Kanamori first joined the club. Seems very glossy. In actual fact, Todayama targeted her because she was the most timid and they needed another member. After Hiromatsu ‘dramatically dies’, Kanamori powers up to avenge her death. Yeah, she’s got a new costume, a new theme song (at least she didn’t sing it herself this time) and some wind for effects. If you’re wondering, nobody is impressed. She’s going to use her terrifying skill that reveals Todayama’s 3 sizes. Todayama beeps them out when Kanamori reads them out, much to her dismay. She kicks up so much fuss that it may destroy the clubroom when this Tuxedo Midnight guy appears. Who the? He left as soon as he arrived. And thus the peace of this club is maintained. Wasn’t Kanamori the source? In the aftermath when they are stargazing, Noya thought Ooba was explaining about a certain star and its purpose during ancient times but Hiromatsu points out she was referring to Kanamori because every star has its purpose and there’s a reason why she is in Asstronomy Club. Kanamori is back to her normal self and doesn’t need to hide anymore because of the encouraging words said by Tuxedo Midnight (although he did not) and vows to protect the club. Ooba feels assured she’ll do that but Todayama just felt she was lying through her teeth.

Episode 3
There is this girl, Izumiko making her way into Asstronomy Club and confronting Todayama. However the scent of the incense caused her to pass out. Todayama is relaying a big emergency to Kanamori and Hiromatsu that she has caught the enemy. Izumiko is the enemy? And she’s an alien? Ooba treats her nicely so Izumiko is assured there is at least someone in this club who is sane rather than that wacko Todayama. Yeah, ignore her ranting. It gives you a peace of mind. Todayama isn’t convinced and will go all out to stop this alien. But the rest are awed that Izumiko is able to stop Todayama and put up with her stupid antics. Definitely not an amateur. Izumiko is here to find someone and looks all over the place. She sees a rock candy and this brings back some ‘horrifying’ memories. We see Todayama ranting about scientific terms and chemical names that only mad scientists do. It made others stay away from her and as a result, Izumiko was mistreated and blames Todayama for the lost of her friends. To the other girls’ surprise, Izumiko is Todayama’s little sister. One year her junior. Never could have guessed it, eh? Besides, they attend different schools. They were once intimate sisters. Well, not that intimate but the kind of intimacy that Izumiko looks up to her pretty and intelligent sister. Then one day Todayama dropped the bombshell that she is leaving to some star because she is not human and she has to do so to save Earth (among some other delusional ranting). You could say life turned upside down for Izumiko ever since she left but Todayama feels she is insulting Asstronomy Club. So she has her take a quiz club and if Izumiko clears it, she’ll get to see this person she’s looking for.

Noya finishes his class duties, returning to the club only to see Izumiko in a quiz session. She answered wrongly a question about Kanamori. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a cue for Todayama to strip her for today’s portion. Iseda then comes in, bent on closing the club so the girls escape via secret passageway leaving Noya and Ooba behind. As they walk along, Izumiko laments when did big sis turned into a deviant so Todayama takes this as an insult to the club. This has her continuing the match and if Izumiko wins, she’ll get to do anything to her but if she loses, she won’t have her way with the club. So… They’re battling each other via animal rides jousting? Octopus ride? Isn’t this turning out to be an ordinary sibling squabble? In the end, Todayama blows some sleeping powder to knock her out. And thus the club is once more saved for today. Eh? When she wakes up later, Todayama tells her to go back quietly and she’ll let today’s events slide. Otherwise she’ll post embarrassing photos of her on the internet. Gosh. Did she do anything to her while she was asleep? Obviously not but Izumiko took the bait and agrees. Izumiko is fetch home and she knows Todayama is hiding something and will look further into it. But she laments she couldn’t find her Itsuki-sama. Eh? Couldn’t she recognize? Unless… Todayama explains to the girls that they live separately when some mysterious dude pulls up to tell them that Earth is being targeted.

Episode 4
He identifies himself as Eiji Bando but Todayama has her reservations. Bando escapes when he receives an emergency message. In school, Hiromatsu asks Neko for its opinion. Well, it is Oomori’s substitute, right? Suddenly Neko gets naughty and frolics under her skirt. This made her go into ecstasy. Todayama sees this and now that she knows her weakness, is going to take advantage of it! Demon! First she teases her by not giving Hiromatsu touch Neko and then lets the cat loose into her breasts. Stimulating, isn’t it? Then Neko goes ‘violate’ Kanamori’s bag filled with her yaoi doujin and pees inside!!! Precious treasures!!! Hiromatsu goes after Neko and bumps into Izumiko coming into school. Knowing she wants to visit Asstronomy Club, she gives her a seal (stamped by Neko) as approval. Hiromatsu gets serious and wants to know what happened between the sisters since she doubts Todayama will tell her if she asks her straight. Izumiko doesn’t reveal anything. Hiromatsu feels Todayama is a big mystery and thus the reason why she joined the club was because she was curious about her. It might not seem obvious but according to her observation, Todayama is conducting advanced astronomy-related research in secret. Though Izumiko won’t forgive her sister for tarnishing the family’s name, she has no intention of reconciling with her and leaves upset when Hiromatsu tries to read a prediction for her via her tarot cards. There have been cases of girls fainting in school so Iseda and her team are investigating it and she doesn’t want this matter to be known as to cause unnecessary anxiety. Iseda has a fear of cats because she spots a group of them and runs back to her room. She summons Ooba and connects her club with the incidents. No proof? See? So Ooba says that if she gets to the bottom of this case by the end of the day, her club will not be abolished.

Of course Todayama plays detective, heading to the crime scene looking for clues and making Noya doing a stakeout while Ooba interviews the victims who don’t remember much. Neko is talking cat language to a legion of cats while Hiromatsu is obsessed with their cuteness. Todayama couldn’t find any leads on the case so she wants to go find someone and accuse that person of being the culprit! F*ck! So happens that person coming in is Izumiko. It’s decided. She’s the culprit. In some sick interrogation, as long as Izumiko doesn’t confess, Kanamori will get tortured. Eh? What? She fires her rock candy to rip her clothes so Izumiko agrees to come clean. Calling Iseda to the scene, Todayama wants Izumiko expelled for eternity from this school. Izumiko makes the perfect culprit since a student from another school wandering the grounds would be suspicious. Moreover, Izumiko says if she being the culprit solves everything, then so be it. However Ooba points out Izumiko is their guest and shows the seal of approval from Neko. This document is even valid? Suddenly Neko and the bunch of cats bust into the room. With Hiromatsu as the translator, Neko is enraged that Iseda is the culprit using this incident to abolish the club. As punishment, Todayama throws all the cats at her till she falls out of the window. Don’t worry. The cats provide soft landing cushion. In the aftermath as things wind down, Noya is appalled that Todayama forgot all about her! She’s still in her stakeout position! Hiromatsu suggests the sisters to talk but Todayama cautions not to get involve with her. Ooba gives Izumiko a planisphere as gift so reluctant Izumiko teaches her how to use it. Hiromatsu tells Izumiko that Todayama is a genius and despite being with her every day, she doesn’t know much about her. Telling her about a story behind some constellation. There were once 2 sisters who got along very well. When the older sister left in search of happiness, the younger one faithfully waited for a long time for her return till she became a flower and drifted away into the skies and became a constellation. Never heard it before? It’s made up by Todayama! But Izumiko wonders what prompted her to make up such a story. Izumiko then clearly spots a red star in the sky. Ooba is shocked that she could see it because that star is called Death Star.

Episode 5
Izumiko is once more at the doors of Asstronomy Club to find the man she is searching for but Todayama won’t allow her in. So while the sisters argue, comes in the rest of the members and especially Noya is in male clothes! He is the Itsuki-sama Izumiko has been searching for! How? What? Why? First, Izumiko slaps him multiple times in the cheek. Then she makes him say her name: Elizabeth Margaret. She has been wondering where he had been all the time so when the girls put the female uniform over him, Izumiko realizes how dumb she was not to recognize him in the first place. So focused on finding the normal Noya that she disregarded everything around her. After another trademark slap, Noya explains how he ended up cross-dressing. When he first wanted to join the Astronomy Club, he found it odd to be located at the basement. Todayama instantly rejects him because if there is a guy now, they won’t have secret girl parties (do they?) or exercise without their panties (WTF). However Todayama was reminded if Ooba finds out she turns him down, she’ll be in deep sh*t. So Todayama has him take a test. She strips Kanamori and wants him to wear her uniform, spewing crap about utilizing a human potential and the first step is via cross-dressing. So if he cross-dresses, he can join? The rest is history. That’s why you’ve always seen him in an oversized female uniform in the club room. Next, Izumiko makes him go on all fours and stands on him!!! Sadists! What’s more, she announces he is the heir to the Noya Group! WTF?! He’s treating him like dirt?! Izumiko reveals herself as his maid so she spews lot of crap to brainwash Noya into believing her she is like this and that. Including some twisted sense that since her name is Elizabeth which is the queen of England, it makes her more amazing than a maid and is far superior than him. That’s why he must obey her. WTF?! And he believed it! WTF???!!! Izumiko sets up some nice tea set and table for him to drink. Despite her goal of wanting him to experience the best of life, her tea is f*cking salty! Then she pours a mountain of salt into the cup. With those demonic eyes, she is confident her tea can’t be undrinkable! BULLY!!! She seems to have lots of fun bullying him.

Todayama tells her to stop bullying him so Izumiko grabs him and asserts he is hers and accuses her for always taking her treasures. That’s because Noya is her toy! Eh? WTF?! However Todayama reminds her he joined on his own will, this means he belongs to the Asstronomy Club. This means he is Todayama’s property?! What’s the difference?! Todayama snatches him and is going to perfect him by putting female clothes on him. At least she didn’t strip Kanamori for it. I guess the bullying just changed hands. Izumiko flips up his skirt to reveal his polka dot briefs. She slaps him and chides him for being half-hearted! If he is going to cross-dress, he must cross-dress down to his underwear too! Oh no. Everybody agrees but this is a cue for Todayama to strip Kanamori of her panties! She manages to stop them when she mentions she has an extra pair for cosplay. After that folly of Kanamori trying to pull back up her panties without bending down (I don’t know how screwed up it could get), Izumiko helps Noya wear the panties. Then Todayama flips up his skirt to see the panties over the briefs! Weird combo. Some perfection. At the end of the day as they leave, Izumiko asserts she will join this club and do the necessary paper work to transfer to this school. Both the sisters argue about Noya being a dog, toy, property and its equivalents that they won’t hand him over. Ooba who has been quiet all this time breaks her silence. She puts her foot down. Or else. Better surrender while you’re in one piece. She tells them it is not the present or future they need, but love. They have to treasure Noya more because he is the club’s equipment. Eh? Not her too? Well, Izumiko did call him her toy so she thought he is some sort of equipment. Speaking of Noya, the girls realize he isn’t around. Hiromatsu picks up her tarot card and death is on the cards. Todayama corrects herself he is no toy but perhaps a grim reaper born from a miserable star. I agree. With the way the sisters are treating him…

Episode 6
Noya is comfortably cleaning the club room in his boy uniform when Iseda walks in to announce she’ll be abolishing this club (again). Then behold! Appears Todayama in a tokusatsu outfit calling herself Kyouder! She wants Noya to reveal his true self and strips him! Izumiko isn’t going to allow that because his stripping rights belong to her and joins in the strip. The nonsense stops when Ooba comes in. She thought Iseda is back with the club. On the contrary. Noya learns she was a former club member and the president up till a year ago. Something must’ve happened between Ooba and Iseda for it to happen. Iseda asserts she has quit the club but Ooba insists she has accepted her resignation. On the grounds of this club is not productive, she is going to shut it down. Ooba wants her to join them in a stargazing activity to confirm with her own eyes to see if they’re productive or not. While waiting for night fall, the rest put up some lame hero show in a park that hardly has anybody. Even the mommies are talking to themselves and their kids paying attention to their toys. I don’t think they even know there are idiots acting on the stage. Ooba and Iseda are in the Ferris wheel and it’s a force flashback whether she wants to remember or not. Many years ago when they’re young, the duo are best of friends. They stumble into a beautiful rose garden with a telescope in the centre. This mansion belongs to a wheelchair ridden grandma. Because they all love roses and stars, the girls get permission to come play here again and in return will help tend to her rose garden and research on the stars. Iseda did the watering and suggested Ooba do the research since she had a weak body. This went on for several years and when they talk about the Rose Nebula, the girls promise they would take a picture of it so she can put it up in her room. Meanwhile the hero show seems to be failing but nobody gives a damn because nobody’s watching. After that blooper putting on the armour pieces on Todayama, Hiromatsu the ‘monster’ unleashes her wave of cats to attack. Todayama tries to use her light sabre and because the plug wasn’t properly plugged in, it catches fire and burns down the entire park! Oh sh*t! And the mommies don’t even know about the fire! It’s amazing they didn’t get caught.

Night falls as they trek to the destined stargazing area. Iseda explains the use of red torches so that their eyes could get used to the dark and not affect the stargazing. But I guess the rest love to mess around and scare this scaredy cat. Whether it’s shining the torchlight underneath their face, telling ghost stories, just showing Neko and the ultimate one: Cheekily pointing something is behind the tree she is hiding. Man, they’re enjoying this. She runs away but ends up at grandma’s mansion, the place where the stargazing will be. This now ruined mansion also brings back some memories too. One day when Ooba and Iseda came by for their usual visit, they see lots of people at the house. After telling they’re here to tend the roses and observe the stars as usual, a guy thanks them and says there is no need to do them anymore. Gosh. I guess granny went to stars, huh? Then Iseda was going to relay the good news that she got an official room for the Astronomy Club but she sees Ooba talking friendly with Todayama (with astronomy books all around the table). Her heart sank and she left. Back to the stargazing, Todayama sets up all the expensive equipment and this shocks Iseda because she thought she stole them! But as pointed out, they received advance payment for the hero show since the student council’s stingy budget won’t allow them to buy such equipment. Oh. So the hero show wasn’t for displaying their stupidity. Ooba then shows Iseda a picture of Rose Nebula taken from Todayama’s camera. She hasn’t forgotten about the promise. Iseda feels bad that she has misunderstood them but returns to her tsundere mode that she acknowledges the club is productive and won’t abolish them. For today. It’s already night time. Todayama ends it by spouting crap wanting to form a light music band tomorrow and head for the UK.

Episode 7
It’s for real! Todayama actually brought music instruments to the club to form a band! Looks like gazing at stars wasn’t enough, they need to become one too! But when they start playing, let’s just say the funeral music sounds much better. No sync! So are they giving up because they’re now bumming around. Todayama refuses to throw in the towel so she puts up a recruitment poster. All they need to recruit are band members who can play instruments since they are the vocals. I doubt they can sing too. In addition, they make a crappy promotion video and to top it, Todayama starts filming Neko to add icing to the cake. They follow the cat and bump into Iseda who is hinting she wants to join. Man, she can play those electric guitar riffs, bass and keyboard! She’s f*cking good! But the rest are ignoring her because they’re more preoccupied with following Neko! Till Ooba sees Iseda that the tsundere student council president runs away in embarrassment. The gang follow Neko and it leads them to Oomori. She’s outside her boyfriend’s house. Now they creepy things start to show. She’s feeding him lunch via the door hole and even a goodbye kiss! Is the door her boyfriend. They are so appalled that they are wondering if this is classified as horror genre and should report her. Oomori spots them and goes on a hysterical rant about being in love, blah, blah, blah. All they see is harassment and stalking. Oomori senses her boyfriend door open but he slams it back! Now we know why he doesn’t want to respond to that crazy woman. Before she turns into a criminal, Todayama blows her sleeping powder in her face and lets her sleep in the trash. Don’t worry. She’ll eventually wake up. Suddenly Noya’s head feels pain but he brushes it off.

Noya and Kanamori gets locked in the Asstronomy Club room together. It’s a ploy by Todayama to secretly film the exciting things that will happen with a boy and a girl alone together after school. And Izumiko is all tied up bondage style and she can’t do anything. Why is Todayama whipping her up too to see if she feels pleasure in pain? A sicko, now a sadist… So the cliché happenings. Kanamori stands up on a stool to reach something, Noya accidentally sees her panties, she panics, they fall, he accidentally has his hand on her boobs. Classic. Thinking she has hurt her feet, he carries her to a chair whereby he helps bandage it. Todayama shows Izumiko how long they’re getting along. They never see this side of him because someone was always taking care of him so his personality didn’t get any chance to show. She wants Izumiko to let Noya go because looking after him is just a reason for her to find someone to depend on. As a maid, she should stand back and watch her master’s happiness. Izumiko cries as she can’t believe Noya is having tea with another woman other than her. It has always been the 2 of them. When Noya starts getting a headache, Izumiko bursts out of the room to his aid. Then Ooba returns with Oomori and the latter has an important announcement to make. She found out her boyfriend loves woman with big boobs. What? That’s it? When she woke up in the trash, she smelled his scent in the rubbish and rummaged through them to find all his porn magazines are filled with woman with big tits. Note that searching through the garbage is the scary thing. So in order to make her boobs big, she is going to massage them. Well, Kanamori becomes the victim as Oomori strips her and massages her breasts! Why always her? Anyway this scene is too hot for Noya to handle that it aggravates his headache. Izumiko tries to wake him up with her slaps when suddenly he grabs her hand. Oh no. Then this evil aura starts flowing out and it’s like Noya has turned into a bishonen badass. Split personality? With an evil maniacal laugh, he notes it’s been a long time since he has seen Izumiko. So this is the real Noya?

Episode 8
Neko submits itself to Noya. Noya though believes this is the first time Todayama is seeing him in this form, he claims she is his fiancée. Izumiko wants to stop Noya but before she could pull out the gun underneath her skirt, Noya was quick to reach it. He disarms her and destroys her special bullets. He is going to make his move on the remaining moves when Ooba knocks his head with the locker for them to escape. They take refuge in the student council’s room. Iseda still thinks of joining the band. That was like over ages ago. So Todayama starts her explanations about pheromones, its consequences that will malfunction electromagnetism of living organisms and the terrifying prediction that Nostradamus made. Izumiko serves her master Noya like what a true maid should. He spills his wine so she had to use her clothes to wipe it. I don’t know how much he spilled because she’s down to her undies and would’ve gladly taken them off to wipe had Noya not stop her. He acknowledges her loyalty and the best maid but if he is to rule the world, he needs more maids. Todayama continues that the rock candy and incense could temporarily ward of Noya’s pheromones. They need to create Pheromone Breaker (Alias) to break it. Then comes in Oomori with lots of books. Seems she has researched lots of it. Has she found the answer? Yes! The book contains methods to enlarge breasts! Oh… Just let her be. So how are they going to make this Pheromone Breaker (Alias)? Todayama notices that Izumiko is the only person who carries sample of it due to Noya’s nature. That sample was in her special bullet.

They make their way to the chemistry lab but are besieged with zombie girls under Noya’s pheromones. Iseda thought she could be the hero and orders them to go back as the student council president. Unfortunately she got owned and became one of them. Yeah, she unintentionally became the sacrifice so the rest could head over to the lab. In the lab, more incomprehensible explanations from Todayama as she improvises the Dob telescope and turns it into a Pheromone Breaker (Alias) maker. Noya is addressing his maids when he realizes powder flowing into the room via air vent. He knows this is Todayama’s doing and though it is too small to have any significant effect, he must take action. Both sides face off and the girls are prepared after having eaten enough rock candies (Ooba got ear plugs?). Since this method of succumbing them to his pheromones won’t work, Noya unleashes his maid for the direct method. The zombie girls attack while Noya and Izumiko head back to the lab. Ooba fends off Iseda so that Todayama could go after them. Back in the Asstronomy Club, Todayama springs over them to load the special bullet into the gun. Todayama is ready to shoot him but Izumiko stands between them. She lets her know she is completely sane and not under his spell. Why is she doing this? Because she hates her for always taking away her treasures. She doesn’t want any more of those memories. The distraction was enough for Noya to knock her out. When she comes to, she is surrounded by her friends who mention that the duo have entered the club’s secret passageway. Noya is confident his time to become the world’s ruler has come.

Episode 9
Noya enjoys looking down on the world he is ruling but Izumiko points out the Noya she knew said the sky doesn’t belong to anyone and that’s why he liked it. Noya tells her to just obey him and think of nothing else. Todayama leads the girls to the park whereby Noya has turned the little girls into his harem. Why? He admits he’s a lolicon! As Todayama and Noya have a showdown, Izumiko reflects no matter how much she serves him, her feelings won’t reach him. No matter how much she loves him, he always returns to Todayama, his fiancée. Todayama points out he was afraid of her family blood because if he wasn’t, he could’ve taken control of her then back at the club room. Noya is going to show her unparallel despair and prepares to transform into his true self as Izumiko blames Todayama it’s her fault that she left him no choice and turned out like this. Noya summons all the cats as they cling on to him before blasting them away. Behold! Noya’s true form. An even more grown up and handsome version! It’s time for them to be part of his plan. He takes a pill and pops it down Kanamori’s mouth. Her body shrinks into a size of a child. He targets Hiromatsu next but Todayama protects her and swallows the pill instead. Oomori drops in and is looking pretty confident. Don’t get your hopes up. Noya throws a pill into her mouth but there is no effect! In this confusion, the girls take this chance to run away and reorganize themselves. So why wasn’t Oomori affected? She claims something about her boyfriend’s power of love, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, let’s ignore her since she’s going into stupid mode. Hiromatsu may look like a lolicon hugging the little Kanamori and Todayama but she says she likes anything small and cute.

Todayama explains the special pill that suppresses Noya’s abnormal rapid growth that’s why when they eat it, it made them smaller. Since there is one that makes you shrink, there is also one that will make your body grow. She might make it if she studies the arrangement of the stars as codes for the medicine and aromas that her grandma taught her. Hey. Her grandma looks awfully familiar. Wheelchair, rose garden, telescope…  But they don’t have time to do that because here comes Noya and his exuding pheromones. Dropping in to save the day is Oomori’s boyfriend, no other than that Bando guy, who is Noya’s elder brother too! I’m sure Kanamori has started her yaoi fantasy between the brothers. Lolicon versus big breasts freak. Bando wants to save him from Noya’s family curse and gives the remedy pills to return Todayama and Kanamori back to their normal sizes. However he gets an urgent call so he has to leave and leaves it up to them to take care of Noya while Oomori follows him closely behind. What a letdown. Though Noya would’ve preferred lolis, he is still okay with other types of girls. When he comments Ooba as mature, she becomes agitated and attacks her. But Noya is too strong for her to handle. Todayama tells the rest to take her away while she handles it from here.

Now it’s Todayama’s turn to get upset when Iseda happened to waltz into the scene and gets owned by Noya. Something about her dying twice already and can’t be revived. So furious that Todayama transforms into that familiar blonde towering spikes Super Saiyan! Both sides up their power and their auras clash. Izumiko warns her sister to run for it but she says if she can stop Noya at full power, her research will finally come to an end. The powerful Noya family had always been after the secrets of the righteous Todayama family. That’s why they organized an engagement by force. Noya admits he transferred into this school to meet her, something his other self doesn’t know. In order to revive the Todayama family and escape Noya’s family rule, she abandoned everything to focus on her research. Izumiko realizes everything that has happened up till now. Todayama only miscalculated Noya’s meeting with Izumiko. Though she left to escape his rule, only to have Izumiko become his maid. As long as she lives, she won’t hand over her sister to him. Knowing that Todayama won’t obediently accept his proposal, he is going to do it by force. He grabs her and his powers render Todayama unable to move. He says just like Bando said, this is the only life he can lead. That is the fate of the Noya family, which bears the ruler’s blood. He is going to inject his pheromones directly by kissing her but Izumiko stops him. She says all she wanted is to be his maid. She alone is enough to be his maid. She knows he is suffering because he was born to carry a cruel fate. This temporarily awakens Noya’s other half. Noya realizes he tainted those eyes of hers even he told himself not to. She apologizes to her and shoots himself with the gun. In some suspended space, Todayama mentions her dream is to have fun club activities with her friends forever.

Episode 10
Suddenly it’s the preparation for the school festival! Everyone is working hard and Noya is back to his original self when he shot himself with the special drugs but Izumiko notes even if he remembered everything, he is not discussing anything with her and the events at the park must be weighing heavily on him. Iseda ticks Todayama off for bringing a tank to school! She insists it’s a telescope! A folly that involves Iseda being pushed by the tank’s turret and nearly falling off from the building has the gang landed in the principal office and he will overlook this since they’re backed by the Noya Group. When Todayama is alone with Izumiko, she asks why she likes Noya. Is she after his family’s fortunes? Flashback time. In fact, she hated him the very first time he transferred in. She had no friends after Todayama garnered a mad scientist reputation. Noya was friendly and popular but despite him trying to be nice to her, she shrugs him off and didn’t like his carefree character. Worse, she felt bitter that he was smarter than her in the tests. He continued trying to talk to her and one day he somehow tripped and pulled down her panties. The flashback is interrupted when Todayama thought she liked him because he pulled her pantsu down! Of course not! That night as everyone sleeps over at school, Izumiko talks to Noya and the flashback continues. They talk about the stars, the sky and the nature of humans. Everyone likes money and care about your physical appearance. Noya sympathizes how Izumiko as treated coldly by everyone. She still disliked him because she finds his behaviour insulting. He says it’s the opposite. People only get offended if they see you as an equal. He was brought up not to see others as equals. Izumiko admitted she is a terrible person in some ways and could only solve things by distancing herself from others. Noya insists she is different and her views are much greater than his. Because of his family, he doesn’t have anyone to tell his real feelings to. But everything is fine now. That’s why there is no longer a need for her to work as his maid and says goodbye.

The preparations continue the next morning. Iseda is sleep deprived, tired, malnutrition, overworked, going haywire and her complex looks terrible indeed. I wonder if the drug Oomori prescribed from her darling will work. Kanamori wonders why Izumiko isn’t in her maid uniform today. As Izumiko follows Neko, she remembers more of the past. She remembers entering the classroom to see all the girls submitting and stripping themselves before Noya. He reveals this special power as the side effect of his growth that compels others to do his bidding. A special drug keeps him from growing and thus suppresses this power. He has been careful in holding it till he met her. Thinking his other self desires her, he uses his pheromones to make her his slave. But Izumiko resisted, fought off his powers and told him off this is not the Noya she likes. This causes Noya to return to his normal self. Feeling guilty for trying to use his powers on her, he jumps off the window but she grabs his hand. He can’t forgive himself for tainting her eyes and who knows when he’ll go berserk like this again. Izumiko denies his power had no effect on her and even if she were to become his maid, she will look down on him. They both fall off but Noya protected Izumiko. As a result he lost all memories from the fall. Iseda once more is giving her ticking off to Todayama about the tank. The telescope. Didn’t she tell her to take it away? Because she spots Neko, she panics and hides inside the tank and accidentally hits a switch that has the turret hit Izumiko. She falls off the ledge but Noya grabs her hand. Reverse déjà vu? Izumiko wants him to let go thinking he doesn’t care about her anymore. That’s why he said goodbye, right? What he meant then was that he wanted to free her. She is more important to him than anyone. He just wanted to be with her. They both fall but this time the hard ground won’t greet them because the Asstronomy Club girls just in time unfolded a big sheet to catch their fall. Todayama is in a suspended space talking to Bando. She thought she wanted to spend her days like these forever but was taught by those 2 who tried their hardest for the future. She cancels her engagement to Noya but the marital relationship between both their families will continue albeit slightly different. Izumiko wakes up thinking it’s still all a dream. Noya says it wasn’t. Especially the goodbye part. It was goodbye to her as Elizabeth. They could have kissed had they not noticed the other girls watching with glee. Oh, I guess this just gives Iseda another reason to close down the club. What has it got to do with it?

And so… It ends. Like that. I thought that it Todayama would be the main star and this is true only until the last few episodes when the focus shifts towards Noya and Izumiko. The final arc displays their relationship and their reconciliation to a new beginning as life together not as master and servant, but as friends. Maybe they’ll upgrade that to lovers. With Noya having a different and hidden personality may be a good catalyst for the flow of the story but it somehow feels that the original plot about the club with fujoshi girls was cast aside. In fact, the Asstronomy Club to me never once felt like a true fujoshi club because the only person who is ever so obvious obsessed in yaoi is Kanamori herself. From the way I look at the other girls, I don’t think they are even a fujoshi fan. Also, the club did do some genuine stargazing activities and have considerable knowledge on the constellations and how to use the telescope as well.  So it was rather misleading to name the club so and to put it in the synopsis as such.

There are a few things that I wanted to know but perhaps the series didn’t address it. What was it really that made Iseda and Ooba drifted apart? It may be when Todayama got in between them but if Iseda was once the president of Asstronomy Club, it means they must have formed it together, right? Unless they formed the Astronomy Club and after the falling out, Ooba renamed it as Asstronomy Club. And why is Iseda so bent on closing it down? What has she got against it? Maybe nothing at all. She just wants Ooba’s attention, that’s all. Excuses after excuses to close it down, it still never happened and the slightest reason was enough for Iseda to put it off to the next day. So really. I think she just wants Ooba’s attention. What about that Death Star thingy that Izumiko could see? Was it just a teaser to end the episode dramatically? Well, most episodes are like that. As for the Todayama and Noya family rivalry thingy. I really understand much about what the heck is going on, the Noya family being rulers and such. Sure, Todayama had to leave to get away from them, but did she turn into an oddball along the way? Or was she just pretending to be a crazy girl all along? I’m not sure about Noya’s split personalities having different memories. Does the grown up Noya have a different conscious than the boyish one? How did Noya transferred to this school in the first place if it was his alter ego that did so just to meet Todayama and without him even knowing it? Maybe it was because during the fall, Noya was in his suppressed form and thus when in this appearance, he loses his memories till his other form takes over. Who is that Bando guy anyway? I get a feeling that he is more than meets the eye. Of course the eternal question that is still bugging me. Why is the club underground? I did say they still do some astronomy-like activities, right? Furthermore, the club has a secret passageway to some place that I probably won’t see the significance of.

Of course with the colourful cast of characters, the noisiest wildest one has got to be Todayama. It never tires to amuse me the nonsense and energetic silliness that idiot brings into each episode. Maybe it’s because she’s a genius that she acts like a clown or joker. But you know what they sometimes say about geniuses. She might be a clever person just hiding her cleverness. She may act like a psycho comedian but it’s just to hide her outstanding intellect and her other various talents. Can I use the term smart ass on her? But sometimes too I feel she’s just the opposite because she loves sexually harassing Kanamori. Perhaps she’s easy to be teased and her reaction to it is perfect. You wouldn’t want to rip off clothes of somebody if she had no reaction to it or allows you to do it, right? Where’s the fun? Otherwise, behind her raunchiness is a caring person who does things with a reason. Would Izumiko really understood if she told her everything about the truth? Maybe that’s why it’s better to cook up with that alien thingy and one day she’ll understand the bigger picture herself. Speaking of Kanamori, she’s like the symbol of fanservice of this series. A big majority of fanservice comes from her. Somewhere in each episode (except for the last couple of episodes), she’ll get stripped. Hiromatsu may be the quiet type but when faced with cats or cute things, she becomes comical.

The most mysterious one is still Ooba. Not even Todayama would mess with her. I thought we could see her pulling off something shocking or something revelation in the end but it was not meant to be. Iseda as the tsundere needs no explanation. As said, her constant harassment to abolish the club is just to gain attention from Ooba. She’s so easy to read especially her tsun-tsun reactions with Ooba. Because once she has closed down the club, what next? Yeah, no more reason for her to haul her up into her student council room or to make periodic visits. I thought Izumiko was another crazy idiot like her sister when she displayed her dominatrix form on poor Noya. I thought Noya was the weak kind of boy who gets bullied. I mean if a maid can step all over you, what does this tell you? So when it is revealed that Noya had an abnormal power, it explains everything. All Izumiko wanted was just to be with him and he too wanted to be with her. In the end, being dominant over the other wasn’t the answer because it’s more of acceptance and be oneself. Pheromones can make others fully submit without question but it is forced and not on one’s free will. Is this true domination? Is this true love? Think not. Oh, when Noya is exuding his pheromones, I thought he makes lots of funny poses. Do the pheromones make him go like that? Or he is just making them because he thinks he is cool? As for Oomori, she’s the kind of woman that doesn’t handle the pressures of reality easily. Yeah, using the cat as replacement as advisor is already a means of running away from reality. Worse, when you become this woman’s girlfriend, she’s not going to let go of you easily. Super stalker and harasser material. Is it a wonder why Bando wants to get away as far as possible from her? Even if she’s being a bad girlfriend (from the viewpoint of everyone, that is), is she doing her job right as a teacher? Not sure. She spends most of her time fantasizing and daydreaming about her lover than anything else. In some episodes, the mid-intermission has a short segment on her whether it’s about happy cooking (for her boyfriend of course. Who else?), a snippet of her day (rumours of her being weird for the day. Not that she understood what’s going on either) or amateur recording (“Bubukimi, bubukimi, bubukimi…” 144 messages of the same thing! Creepy!). Neko though is a mystery, is a cool cat and cute mascot of the series. You would definitely break into a smile upon seeing this feline.

When I first caught glimpse of this series (or at least the promotional poster), I thought that this was some sort of a spin-off of the other anime series, Seitokai No Ichizon. An astronomy version of it, that is. Not to mention a little reminiscence of H20 ~Footprints in the Sand~ and Hoshizora E Kakaru Hashi. Well clearly the drawing and art of the characters have that similarly feel since they are all illustrated by Kira Inugami (with the exception of Hoshizora E Kakaru Hashi). One thing that bugs me is the oversized bowtie the students have as part of their uniform. I don’t know. It makes them look so, how do you put it, bulky. The funniest parts of this series are the parodies that are played out. Though I have read that each episode is a parody of an anime or live action TV series, I can only identify a handful such as Sailormoon, K-ON! and Dragonball. It’s sad that I don’t know lots of other animes like Saint Seiya, Blue Comet SPT Layzner or Fist Of The North Star because had I known them, I would have been laughing my ass off like how I did for the ones that I identified. They are quite hilarious (sometimes to a ridiculous point – but what good would it be if it wasn’t?) and it’s too bad this anime only lasted 10 episodes. I’m sure it could’ve been even quirkier if they had more episodes. More parodies and more idiotic antics from Todayama. A riot, that’s for sure. Some episodes that start off with some dramatic narration which I feel parody a certain anime that is being parodied for that episode. Even the title screen is quite creative with different designs for each episode. Then there are brief cameo appearances by characters from other animes. I only spotted Seitokai No Ichizon’s Kurimu and Sora No Otoshimono’s Ikaros. I’m sure there are more but I didn’t see that many animes in my life so I couldn’t recognize. Though some episodes end in suspense that doesn’t amount to much and I just think they’re messing around. For example, one episode ended with a short interview with Iseda (blanked out eyes and modified ‘chipmunk’ voice of course) and they try to spook us with some ghostly occurrence before everything suddenly cuts off. What was that all about?

Todayama’s idiotic style of talking reminds me of the titular character in Haiyoru! Nyaruko-san. It is no surprise that they are both voiced by Kana Asumi. I think I’m starting to stereotype her voice to suit playing such characters. Nakuru in Mayo Chiki, Mikoto from Kampfer and Shizuko from MM! Do I see a little pattern here? But hats off to her for making Todayama sound very convincing in every ways. Other casts include Mariya Ise as Noya (Stocking in Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt), Iori Nomizu as Izumiko (Nymph in Sora No Otoshimono), Asuka Nishi as Kanamori (Ravel in High School DxD), Risako Murai as Hiromatsu (Katsuyo in R-15), Satomi Satou as Ooba (Ritsu in K-ON!), Midori Tsukimiya as Iseda (Eucliwood in Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka) and Kaori Nazuki as Oomori (Yui in To Love-Ru, Nunally in Code Geass). The main ending theme Mirai Iro No Yakusoku by the seiyuus of Izumiko, Kanamori, Hiromatsu and Iseda. Sounds like a typical all-girl idol pop group. The ending theme for the final episode is Ai Wa Boomerang ~IZUMIKO PARADISE Mix by Iori Nomizu. The full song is played and when I first heard it, the music style reminded me of Laura Branigan’s Self Control, The Lucky One or Flashdance’s Gloria and Donna Summer’s She Works Hard For The Money. You know, that kind of music you hear in the 80’s. Unless you’re not that old enough. I thought it doesn’t sound bad at all.

It has been entertaining watching the spoofs with some laugh out loud moments though some of the parts that I couldn’t comprehend took some of the fun out of it. Nevertheless it is still a good watch if you don’t want something so serious and engaging. I mean, using pheromones to submit the world to your feet? I’m sure every otaku would love to have this power for his harem. Too bad in reality we give off the opposite effect instead. Well, at least we know what to do when someone tries to rule the world using only his pheromones. Eat lots of rock candies, burn some special incense and probably get some ear plugs ready too. If all else fails, just call Todayama. Or someone who is as crazy as her. And if somebody is as so crazy as to tell you to strip or cross-dress as a prerequisite to join a club, no matter how hard up you are, better think twice about joining and walk away while you still can. There’s no turning back and telling what will happen. You might end up flat on your ass, half-assed or everything a big pain in the ass and go ass-tray. Or perhaps it could just leave you ass-tonished. P/S: I prefer maids to lolis anytime.

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