Anitore! EX

March 25, 2016

Do we need another exercise anime? Wasn’t that Hinako one enough? I guess not. I suppose with so much animes every year, we otakus have been building up the fats and sitting on our lazy asses. Our sedentary and inactive lifestyle is going to help contribute to the statistics of cardiovascular diseases and deaths. Don’t want that, do we? And so it is timely we have another exercise themed anime that will have you move those arms, legs, flab and body. This time you won’t have one busty chick that looks like she came out from some hentai show to guide us. We have 5 cute girls to help us. So get ready you fat lazy otakus as we watch Anitore! EX and at the same time move our bodies to reduce those fats percentage by 1000%! OMG! Did I read that right?! By 1000% seriously?! This would make The Biggest Loser look like a baby.

Episode 1
Hosted and demonstrated by Asami Hoshi. Push-ups for your arms and boobs. After doing 10 of them, she wants to head to the convenience store to eat ice cream. Oh yeah. I’m sure most of our workouts are like this. Next is sit-ups for your abs. She is struggling to do 10 but gets motivated thinking she could have ice cream at the end. Finally she finishes and when she heads to the store, the ice cream is already sold out! Healthy body, broken heart. What’s the use?!

Episode 2
Eri Higuchi watches us do push-ups but she thinks we are peeking underneath her skirt thanks to our very low visual position. Thus she is forced to demonstrate a different push-up, Hindu style. Not hinnyuu! After 10 counts, she demonstrates reverse push-ups using chair as support. She turns into a typical tsundere when we give her a towel to wipe her sweat.

Episode 3
Shizuno Saotome joins us in exercising after cooking. She demonstrates squats for the thighs and butt. While she is counting to 10, we hear her talk about the kind of meal she was cooking that is supposedly good for our body. This means no cheeseburgers and ice cream? Next is back extension. This one has you lie on your tummy and try to extend your body upwards. Somehow I have her feeling that her boobs are help propping her up. All that exercise is making us hungry so she cooks more than enough and even feeds us. I hope we don’t get back to square one… Or round one in this case :).

Episode 4
If Akiko “Shion” Tachibana is speaking using fancy words that you can’t understand, it is because of her chuunibyou. Don’t worry, there is a literal translation of what she meant by all that. So why does some witch girl have to exercise anyway? But be warned that this might be the most challenging exercise yet as the bow pose and camel pose are derived from yoga. So if you are a beginner, I believe this is not to be attempted since I myself can imagine all the pulled muscles and broken bones just by contorting like this. Yeah, they make it look so easy…

Episode 5
Asami, Eri and Shizuno come together to teach us dancing. But first, Eri wants to come up with a name for their group and she calls it Eri With Dancing Flowers. Because Eri is the group’s leader. So she thinks… Anyway, the dance moves that they’ll be teaching us are enough to learn if you ever wish to dance like an idol on stage.

Episode 6
Soft spoken Yuu Hiraoka believes that if she exercises, she could sleep better seeing her gloomy face is because she lacks sleep. She demonstrates back kick to us. Unlike previous exercises, she only counts to 8 seeing she needs to do them for both legs. She even reveals to us her klutz nature whereby she thought she lost her glasses but it was on her head all along. Next is reverse trunk twist and this one too is count to 8. Yeah, that little exercise is enough to make her sleepy. Sweet dreams.

Episode 7
Asami and Eri team up to demonstrate a harder push-up exercise. This time each push-up you will need to clap your hand. Eri plays a prank on her by holding her boobs as support but gets jealous after realizing how big they are. I guess this exercise is hard enough so the count is only until 5. Next is Hindu squats. Not hinnyuu squats! Since Eri is pouting about her small boobs, Asami shows pictures of herself when she was as flat as a washboard. Regular exercising and not being a fussy eater helps. This mean Eri has to like natto? Hindu squats are easier so they can do up till 10. Asami helps Eri stretch to cool down but accidentally falls on her. Eri feels her enormous boobs pushing on her back and vows to have a great body at the end of it all.

Episode 8
Another dance exercise and an extension of the one a couple of episodes back. This time Asami teams up with Shion and Yuu for the demonstration. Shion is spouting those exercise lines like some sort of dark magic ritual… Once done, Asami wants to go get ice cream but Shion panics since Asami knows she works at that convenience store. Shion denies everything and maintains she is a dark fallen angel.

Episode 9
Finally. A poolside exercise for swimsuit fanservice exercise. Eri and Shizuno demonstrate how to do stretching before you dip into the pool. These exercises takes 2 to tango so you can’t really do them all by yourself and need a partner. Before they could do the final stretching, Shizuno’s naughty pet ferret steals her bikini top for a little nip slip. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see any tits.

Episode 10
Asami and Yuu visit the gym to work out on some of the machines like the butterfly machine to build chest muscles. Yuu notices everyone is friendly with Asami. It makes her worry what she should do to make more friends and stop being shy around strangers. Instead of worrying, she looks up to Asami and wants to be like her. They try out more machines.

Episode 11
Shion leads Eri and Yuu to do some resurrection ritual which is basically Tai Chi. Her fancy words are confusing Yuu but thankfully there is Eri to translate all that. I believe Yuu has some self confidence problems so Eri blows all that away with her encouragement and past experience. Not that I care anyway. Asami and Shizuno join in but the rest won’t tell them what secret training they were doing.

Episode 12
This entire episode is basically one big exercise dance music video with snippets of previous episodes put in to get you to move and grove along with the girls. And what better motivation for all of them to don their swimsuits, right? The highlight of this dance is when each of the girls imitates a strange pose from animals. I mean, does that look like a panda whose husband cheated on her? What about an intense seaweed? A rebellious penguin? Fried Mexican salamanders? WTF?! I don’t know but they sure look funny. The funniest scenes and dance moves ever!

Get That Ass Moving! ;p
Let me guess. You didn’t really move along with those exercises, did you? Yeah… Guilty as charged. We are all still sitting here watching those cute girls doing all the moving just because we figure out that the only reason this show was created is purely for fanservice purpose masked under an exercise category. Do you not agree? I mean did you not notice that the camera angles keep zooming in on those delicious parts of those girls? It is just short of showing any tits or panty shots. With the camera angle supposedly to be the viewers’ eyes and point of view, I guess we really enjoyed watching them do we?

Therefore I am deducing that the only body part that would get rigorous exercising would be your right hand. AM I RIGHT???!!! Hahaha!!! I mean, how can 4 minutes of each episode be enough time for us to exercise seriously? Even 30 minutes should be the minimum and that is if you focus and concentrate, cutting out all the nonsense and crap. Thus this is the reason why I believe that most of us guy viewers didn’t really move along with the girls because the duration of each episode is so short that it is not worth getting up from your comfortable chair and move a little because by that time the episode has already ended. Whaaaaaaaat?! I just got up and getting warmed up and it is already over? This sucks. I’m not moving anymore. Yeah… That. Besides, the number of exercise examples here I believe aren’t just enough and if you just plan to do just all these featured here, I don’t think it will turn you into Mr Universe even in 10 years. But hey, this series is meant to make you healthy (albeit slightly) and not buffed up.

So as not to make this just some mindless exercise and cute girls to bait and lure you to move, I suppose they try to put in some personalities for the girls. However I do not think we will really care what kind of problem they had or overcome since we don’t really see or connect how relevant it is to the exercise they are doing whatsoever. Therefore it feels like a waste and with mixed feelings for the girls to have a little personality but in the end it feels wasted. We have the typical tsundere, the generic tomboy, the shy bespectacled girl, the chuunibyou and even the elegant beauty, all typical stereotypical tropes of anime girls and yet we don’t really care about them except to see them moving their bodies.

In the end, this series might not be a proper exercise video but if it is supposed to motivate you to get you to do some exercise by yourself, then I think it also fails in that. Because you can get even more detailed exercising tips from Google or even old proper workout videos compared to the ones featured here. At the end of the day, it all depends on your will power on whether you really want to get up and move about. Cute anime girls can only motivate you so much. Eventually, you otaku slobs will have to get up from your chair and go take a dump, right? So let us not give otakus a bad image and name as we shed some pounds and strive to become a healthy otaku. Can we all do that? Shucks. I guess I’ll have to put this one off indefinitely since I have a tight schedule of anime shows to watch for the next few months… No, I’m not lazy! I’m just busy, damn it!

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