Alice Or Alice

July 20, 2018

I don’t know why she’s leaving or where she’s gonna go/ I guess she’s got her reasons but I just don’t want to know/ ‘Cause for twenty four years I’ve been living next door to Alice. Uhm… I don’t know… For some reason, hearing Alice Or Alice makes me want to hum this song from Smokie despite having nothing to do with it and more to do with the one from Lewis Carroll. Not really based on Alice In Wonderland either but it is said the titular characters are Alice twins and they have a brother with a sister complex. Oh sh*t. I think I can see what kind of show this is going to be…

Episode 1
Twin loli morning fanservice as we see Rise trying to wake up Airi. Nothing wakes up your twin like touching her flat non-existent boobs. However Airi still feels sleepy and mixes up the toothpaste with the face wash. Their siscon loving brother, Ani makes them pancakes but Airi still feels dizzy. Turns out she is sick. They put her back to bed so in order not to make her feel lonely, Ani gives her an alpaca plushie as his substitute in which he says is a forest fairy. Really? It makes her day. Doesn’t she look better already with that smile?

Episode 2
The glutton flat chested Maco and her clumsy big breasted sister, Coco visit the twins. As Ani is in the midst of making lunch, Maco hopes to taste his cooking. However he only made enough for the twins. Maco throws a tantrum she wants to eat his cooking and of course the solution is to help cook with them. Coco is clumsy in handling things but nothing life threatening. They finish making their cake so Ani tops it off with his special strawberry prize.

Episode 3
The girls visit Kisa Kissa, a maid café run by Kisaki who is Ani’s childhood friend. As recommended by him, they will be helping out and working part time here. Of course they need to practice first and who else better than to practice their hospitality on Ani? Rise is so shy and cute that Ani wants to order her! Airi accidentally drops cake on him but makes up with an omelette rice. Maco whips up a great sundae but can’t help feel hungry about it so he lets her eat it. Coco burnt her steak… Their reward at the end is Ani’s cooking but he didn’t do it alone. He got the help of some little fairies, Kabi Usagi. WTF. I hope the food isn’t drugged to see such cute mythical creatures.

Episode 4
The girls find a homeless girl in a box next to the dump. Because Ruha freaked out Coco, she got slapped out. I guess when you’re hungry and tired, you go back to sleep? Thankfully Ani carries her to Kisa Kissa. She wakes up and Coco feels sorry and tries to make up with her (death) pudding. Almost killed her. She runs to Ani for protection. Since she is hungry for hamburgers, Coco wants to make up for it but Ani will help to make sure they don’t turn out to be poison. Ruha eats her fill. Kisaki then lets Ruha wear a maid outfit. Because she is well endowed, she looks kinda sexy. This turns Kisaki on as she starts snapping away.

Episode 5
Everyone visits the hotspring. Kisaki being the pervert trying to harass and take pictures of everyone while Ani on the other side is meditating to keep out horny thoughts. That night they visit the festival and just right as Ani suggests holding hands so as not to get separated, they realize Coco is missing. Indeed she somehow got lost. Then this Alpaca fairy (you mean this is really a fairy?) tells her as long as she loves everyone in her heart, they’ll always come back to her. True enough they reunite. Maco is most emotional so Coco apologizes for making her worry.

Episode 6
Now everyone visits the beach. They’re using Alpaca as a ball? Fuzzy and bouncy. They notice the watermelons gone and then find out cheeky Maco is using them as boobs. Cool it Airi. We want to split the watermelons and not a human head! When they go swim in the sea, it seems Airi is reluctant to join them. Turns out she isn’t good at swimming. But don’t worry, Ani will teach her. Now she can decently swim with everyone. Except for Ruha who continues to munch down her food.

Episode 7
The girls noticed another maid café, Dark House has opened across. Sum up your courage and enter this creepy Halloween themed building. Then again, is it creepy when you have a cute bat mascot, Cory guiding the way? They meet Dark House’s owner, Yamiry as she gives them try her dark hamburgers. Well, Ruha didn’t die from it so I guess they’re okay. They are confused when Yamiry says she is their fan. Could she be one of Kisaki’s customers? So why open another rival maid café? That is why Yamiry is going to challenge them to a competition. The loser closes down forever. This mean if Yamiry wins, Kisa Kissa will not only close down but all of them will work at Dark House as well. Challenge accepted.

Episode 8
Ani is dressed up since he is going to be the judge for their showdown. But of course. First round: Eating contest. Gluttony Maco eats her way fast to victory and leaving slowpoke Ruha in the dust. Second round: Cooking contest. Yamiry defeats Kisaki only because she added some tongue numbing spice to her cake. Honestly, if Yamiry added that and had Ani eat first, shouldn’t Kisaki’s cake also not taste anything? I guess the effects wore off fast. Final round: Cosplay contest: Ruha’s dark Santa or twins’ mini skirt reindeer? Instant hands down for the twins! With Yamiry’s loss, she isn’t happy and instantly hugs Ani as an excuse to cheer herself up and a small peck too. She promises to win the next time and make him all hers.

Episode 9
New Year, new Alice? Because it might be a feast for Ani’s eyes when he sees Airi sexually molesting Rise! Yeah, blame the sweet sake that got her drunk despite having no alcoholic content. As Ani pulls Airi away, I suppose sexualizing her brother is better than sexualizing her twin so she wants to stay close to him to feel better. She admits she has a hard time opening up but if she is like this, she feels she can be honest to her feelings. But that won’t do for Ani. He wants her to ALWAYS be honest to her feelings. Hence he suggests to make it this year’s goal. And with that, the twins are happy being with him. Before they dig into their special New Year food, the other sisters visit and Ani can tell they’re going to have another lively year ahead. You don’t say…

Episode 10
Yamiry is back to her vile ways once again. Luring Ruha with food so that she could lure the Kisa Kissa girls here and challenge them again. Yup, Ani is going to be their judge for this Valentine chocolates test. The moment he tastes Yamiry’s chocolate, he judges this the best and won’t taste any other! It is discovered in this chocolate box there is a naughty manuscript of the twins! While this distress them, time for Yamiry to put on some (crocodile?) tears and say she too wants to make Ani happy and actually loves them all. With Ani understanding how much she cares for everyone, Kisaki suggests she work at her place. Kisaki must love the extra help and extra income but her eyes are continuing to blink in money as she plans to sell the manuscript! Don’t you dare!

Episode 11
The twins realize that it has been 2 weeks that Ani has been busy and even waking up late. Furthermore, today is their birthday and they don’t really want to force this issue on him. It makes them feel a little sad, though. As the day nears its end, they think of making him a treat but when they return home, Ani pops a birthday surprise for them. Looks like he has knitted a big fluffy scarf overflowing with his love for them. I know we should be feeling warm about this but I can’t help feel cringe the way he said that… So this is the source of his late nights and being busy. He really wanted to make something on his own. Time for some big sisterly twin hug! I love you! Aww!!!

Episode 12
Suddenly… Kisaki announces they are going to be an idol group! Apparently Kisaki has some experience as a solo idol. Look at all those unsold CDs… With Kisaki seemingly assuring they can get or do anything they want (food, hamburgers, you name it!), the rest are going to hop on this idol wagon. They practice before Ani before the real deal. Now that the show night is here, the crowd is building up and the twins are nervous. All it takes is for Ani to say he will be there to support them and all those anxiety blues are blown away. And so Kisakiss6 head out there and strut their stuff like pros. Damn, I was hoping they sang Smokie’s Alice song.

Siscon Or Lolicon Or Pedo?!
I must be wondering to myself every time I finished watching such series… WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST WATCH???!!!! Sure, it is nothing awful but it was nothing good nor even average! So is this bad? Definitely. So bad that it is good? Nope. So bad that it is still bad and will continue to remain bad for the rest of eternity. Forgetting it will be the least good thing that could happen to this series. Honestly.

This entire series feels like a disaster the moment you finished watching the first episode. Uh huh. A lot of cuteness between them and nothing really much that happens. It makes you wonder why they even bother adapting this series that is originally from a manga. Like as though there was some fallout with another previous different series that was supposed to be adapted and so in search of a replacement, they selected this one instead. Heck, with the running time of only 3 minutes (actual running time of only 2 minutes if you take away the opening and ending themes of 30 seconds each), it’s like they aren’t even interested to do this series in the first place. Thinking that perhaps if they spam lots of cuteness and overload it with moe and kawaii elements, it would be forgiven. At this point in time, maybe veteran anime viewers like me won’t. So is this show literally about cute girls doing cute things but in the form of Alice twins? Maybe. Even so, there is nothing much ado about them.

There is no plot whatsoever and each episode that you watch makes you ask the question what the heck is this for? I know some anime series dwell very well on randomness but not this one. It’s like the producers have no idea on what to produce and just simply throw out whatever they can think of using the characters of this series. Like whatever Yamiry’s challenge and then the final episode which turned the girls into idol materials. Say what? Oddly Yamiry isn’t part of Kisakiss6. I thought she is under Kisaki now? Don’t tell me she got fired.

The characters themselves aren’t exactly exciting and if they think that making them cute was just enough to pass them, they’re wrong. At least not in this era. So we have basically the twins who are supposedly the star of this series. What do they do? Not really sure. Except being super cute and being loved by their Ani. Heck, you don’t even get to know why they are being called Alice twins except for the fact that they dress up pretty similar to Alice In Wonderland. I suppose Ani is their Mad Hatter and they live in their own fantasy world that looks pretty much normal to us. Oh right. There’s that Kabi Usagi fairy and Alpaca fairy. Cute and weird, if you ask me. Sometimes I think everybody is hallucinating instead of real magic, whatever.

If there was one thing ‘good’ about this series, it is that Ani isn’t portrayed as some desperate sleazy siscon thanks to the series’ second title, Siscon Nii-san To Futago No Imouto. Yeah, that spells out pretty much everything. It automatically makes you think he is some sort of pervert who is grooming them to grow up to be his sex slave or something. Thankfully, no. He loves his twin sisters but not to a point where he would display such depravity that would make us further hate him and the series. His love for them feels so normal that it makes it look like he takes care more of his harem than this.

Speaking of this and the other characters, it feels like just in case you get sick of Ani and the twins, they have other friends to spice up the variety. Otherwise they are pretty much redundant. With the twins being a bit meek, these characters stand out more as they are livelier and haughtier like the glutton Maco, the money minded Kisaki and the eternal rival Yamiry (who feels she is playing the antagonist just for attention because what better way to signal her love for Ani than stirring up some harmless contest?). Coco only exists for fanservice in case there are some viewers who aren’t into washboards while Ruha as the wild card is a bit unpredictable because she feels more like a pet than anything else. As long as you remember to feed her, she’ll be quiet munching over her food.

Hence if you really want to know more about the characters, you would surely be sorely disappointed. From the simple background and past stories of the characters on how they become friends as they are, literally are non-existent. I know the synopsis says to peek at their daily lives. But with only 3 minutes of running time (oh I forgot again, 2 minutes actually), how much can you tell? You just accept everything you see in the name of cuteness. I guess to some watching cuteness with no substance is enough. I don’t think true lolicons would stop there…

Art and animation is flowing with cuteness. Everyone already looks cute and when they are in chibi form sometimes, they ramp up the moe and kawaii factor even more. Heck, until the end I still can’t tell them apart although you can if you want to as they have easily different eye and hair colour. Produced by EMT2, they’ve animated quite a few series that utilizes the cute aesthetics such as Urahara, Nyanko Days and Kuma Miko as well. Even having the girls all in maid outfits didn’t win me over. That is how bad this series has become. If I should say, this is the worst series made under them as I even find Fudanshi Koukou Seikatsu and Renai Boukun to be even better.

Yoshitsugu Matsuoka is recognizable as Ani, almost mirroring as another character from another anime that is a siscon, Sora from No Game No Life. The other recognizable seiyuu is Ayane Sakura is Rise but it took me a while to recognize her since she wasn’t in her trademark bratty voice and is quite soft-spoken. The other casts are Rina Hidaka as Airi (Silica in Sword Art Online), Natsumi Takamori as Maco (Patricia in Nora To Oujo To Noraneko Heart), Sora Tokui as Coco (Nero in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes), Saori Oonishi as Ruha (Eriri in Saenai Heroine No Sodatekata) and Aina Suzuki as Yamiry (Mari in Love Live! Sunshine). Petit Milady sings the generic manufactured anime pop opener, A Or A while Pyxis sings the ending theme, Lonely Alice that sounds generically similar.

Overall, this garbage literally fails in every aspect and the only good thing is that it is 3 minutes long. Who knows how bad it would be had it been the normal duration but then again, it is hard to say because more could be fleshed out and given proper attention. It’s just sad that this series is trying to sell and capitalize on cuteness and nothing else. Over the years we have so many series doing that even under its own category called cute girls doing cute things like Gochuumon Wa Usagi Desu Ka, Kiniro Mosaic, Slow Start, Hinako Note and even in that same season we had Comic Girls but at least all these have some sort of plot no matter how boring it gets.

Heck, in the previous decade, there was an anime about twins, Futakoi. If you saw that one, you’ll remember it’s about a guy who has a harem of twins! And they all fight for his love! Yeah, maybe I should go back and watch that one. It is with regret that I have to call this series a waste of time although I did not regret watching it because otherwise I wouldn’t know how bad it is. Hell, maybe that is why for that reason I wanted to start singing again that Smokie’s song… Twenty four years just waiting for a chance/ To tell her how I’m feeling maybe get a second glance/ Now I’ll never get used to not living next door to Alice. But I think I can get used to not living next door to this Alice for sure.

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