1+2=Paradise

August 22, 2014

One plus two equals… Three! Ah, simple mathematics arithmetic. Back in 1990, I was probably in primary school and perhaps mastered the basic of simple arithmetic problems and moving on to fractions and the likes of the syllabus. Also in that same year, 1+2=Paradise also came out and this double OVAs isn’t a show to teach young kids about mathematics. The title should have been a giveaway. Yup, it’s an ecchi OVA. As long as there is more than one to the equation, it will definitely be a harem paradise. But how can you have that when the main male protagonist of the show is actually afraid of woman? Yeah, it feels wasted. Perverted guys who dream of their own harem never gets it and the socially awkward guy who prefers living the boring life that you could die of boredom gets lucky with a couple of girls who have no shame in losing their modesty just to get this guy’s love. Maybe that it is why such odd equation is so interesting.

Episode 1
Yuusuke Yamamoto must love RPG his video games so much. He dreams about them. But there is this foreshadow that woman will be his undoing. Facing off with some boob monster is clearly a nightmare. He wakes up with a cutie girl next to him. What follows next is a weird mixture of fantasy of reality as he tries to run away from the girl and weird boob creatures. If you ask me, they’re more freakish than anything ecchi. A pair of twins is seen outside his door. They are for real. The Nakamura sisters, Yuka and Rika are here to stay in their home since they are studying as nurses but since Yuusuke’s dad is too busy to take care of them, he has Yuusuke do this. WTF. Actually this is part of daddy’s plan to help Yuusuke cure his phobia of women. Because if Yuusuke is going to be a gynaecologist like him, he must overcome that fear. One woman is already fearful enough, what about a pair? Can Yuusuke handle this? Seems his fear stems from when he was young. A pair of twins used to live next door and would love to be his bride one day. When they were playing doctor and patient, the twins strip him naked to examine his body. They think his little dick is some sort of boil and wanted to cut it off!!!! Yikes! Scary! So now you see what Yuusuke is so afraid? What more, there’s double trouble now. However there is only one spare room and the guest room isn’t big enough to fit them both. Yuusuke must choose either one. He has the entire day to do so and daddy hints he won’t be coming back and staying at the hospital. Uh huh. I saw this coming. A competition to seduce Yuusuke. So that Yuusuke and us can tell the twins apart, Rika ties up her hair while Yuka lets hers down. The twins try to do some cleaning to earn points but they blooper (with lots of fanservice for ‘unfortunate’ Yuusuke of course). So he does the job better than them and they decide to go cook instead. As expected, they make a mess of everything. Yuusuke makes a better cook. If you marry this guy, you’d be set for a happy life. Seriously.

During bed time, he is surprised to see Yuka wearing his pyjamas to warm it up. Worse, Rika warms up his underwear in her ass!!! I wonder if he can get a good night’s sleep. Hell continues tomorrow when he finds both of them sleeping by his side. He recalls his fear for twins before they reveal that they are those twins. Destiny? Ever since Yuusuke saved them from that stray dog, they only want him to be their husband. It is a promise they made. Of course, Yuusuke can’t remember. He just thinks somebody put a curse on him. The kids pay Yuusuke’s dad a visit at the hospital. He has a hunch he can’t choose between them and came to seek his advice. But since this is the last working day before the New Year holidays, the hospital is short on staff so he has the twins clean the toilet so this might help Yuusuke make his decision. As usual, more follies from the twins in seducing him especially Rika who is covered with soap bubbles and wants Yuusuke to scratch that itchy part of hers. Then in this mind boggling part, Rika is unable to hang the hose high up so she trips and somehow gets entangled with Yuusuke in the tub. They struggle and this causes the tap to turn on. Since the plug is in place, this means the water is filling in fast and at this rate they will drown. I’m not sure about this part of Yuka telling Yuusuke to crawl down to her lower anatomy and push his face through. I don’t even know how or why this happened but this allows Yuusuke who was at the bottom to have his face surfaced up. In exchange, Rika’s face is now submerged underwater. Adding to the complexity of it all, Yuusuke summons his strength to stand up on roll over. Now he is underwater while Yuka face is out. In the aftermath, they are both saved by Rika. Yuusuke’s dad wonders if he has made his decision. Because both of them saved his life, he can’t choose and wants them both to stay. Yuusuke’s dad has foreseen this so he is going to let the twins stay in his room while he lives in the spare one. Take this as his Christmas present for him. The happy twins glomp him and make him pass out. Hellish days are here to stay.

Episode 2
An airship flies over Yuusuke’s school, dropping roses and firework displays. Barako Matsubishi is the owner of the largest circus company in the world and makes her presence felt. She’s pretty enough for all the guys to drool over her. She throws her rose and the one who catches it will get a reward. All the guys scramble but it is lucky (or unlucky depending how you view it) Yuusuke who gets it. And he wasn’t even trying. Barako kisses him! That’s the reward? That shocking kiss passes him out. While the other boys are fawning over Barako in class, Yusuke isn’t. He fears her. The twins warn Barako about Yuusuke’s phobia of woman but she slaps them away and kisses his forehead, believing she has captured him with her charms. The twins want Yuusuke to kiss them otherwise they take it as a sign he likes Barako more. If he isn’t interested in her and that kiss was a misunderstanding, then all the more reason he should kiss them, right? He makes an excuse to go collect his sketchbook. However Rika is waiting for him in the locker and starts stripping. Don’t worry if nobody comes around. Because everybody is busy fawning over Barako outside. Rika makes him take his sketchbook between her legs. But since the class is coming in, they are forced to hide in the tight closet. The teacher wants to get something from it so Yuusuke is forced to keep the doors close. Yuka sees them in this ambiguous position and lies to the teacher that the stuff isn’t inside. The class pass without incident so the duo are finally let out but Yuusuke has already passed out after that suffocation. Yuusuke is made to be the TV host during the lunch time break. As he introduces Barako is the new student, the twins blunder to let all the viewers have nose bleeding fanservice of their crotch shot and nude boobs shot. Barako is not impressed as she thinks the twins are trying to interrupt her love story with Yuusuke. She vows to save him from their claws.

That night, Yuusuke is kidnapped by clowns. The twins here his scream. They realize a big circus built overnight next door and with a rose on the ground, they think that circus b*tch has kidnapped Yuusuke and sexually abusing him. They head into the mansion for a rescue mission but drop down into the dungeon. Not wanting to be eaten by a snake, they crawl through the vent. Meanwhile Barako tries to seduce Yuusuke in her room. She thinks he is just embarrassed and not honest to his feelings. Barako seems desperate to get his love. Or else she will have to marry some Egyptian. Since he still won’t be hers, she whips him into submission! I believe Yuusuke isn’t a masochist. The twins find them and at first they are sad to see them in a very ambiguous position. However he rushes to their side and hugs them, relieved that they are here to save him. So he chose them over Barako? Well, rich girl won’t let them get away and orders all the circus freaks to capture them. Even during the escape, the twins try to get horny with him. Is there time for this? If Rika trying to force him take a water gun between her legs isn’t enough, then this mind boggling move of how the trio trapeze and swing their way out has Yuusuke end up inside Yuka’s panties! How the heck did this even happen???!!! And how the hell can he run like that? It’s just so freakily ambiguous. Then they slide down the chute into a real live circus. But nobody is going to pay attention to them since Barako is here as well as her Egyptian lover wanting to bring her away to travel the world. At first she says her heart belongs to somebody else but after he shows his love of how he crossed the seas with his camels to get her, she jumps to his side and they kiss. So cheap. Hey. Did everybody come here to see a circus show or some soap drama? The entire circus turns into an airship and flies away. Yuusuke and the twins are left behind and they try to warm him up since he is feeling cold. Well, the less competition, the better.

3, 2, 1, Hell!
First and foremost, this is such an old anime that whatever I saw here I wasn’t that impressed but forgave everything because it was so old. Heck, it is 1990 for God’s sake. I wasn’t even 10 years old. (But now I am over 3 decades old and this makes me feel so old). Because of the old school anime, things look pretty silly. From the plot to the ecchi stuffs and even to the misadventures that our protagonists have. Compared to the standards of ecchi and fanservice stuffs these days, this is nothing compared to it and is considered mild. Very mild. Not even seasoned ecchi viewers or even casual ones would get turned on watching those naked boobs and panty shots that are minimally scattered throughout the series. You wonder if what those sexy twins are doing you would be asking yourself is this supposed to be turned on or something. Yes, they are kinky and in a way make them look like desperate sluts but like I said, old school anime so please forgive them. But back then, such nudity and fanservice are a big thing.

The only ‘real’ problem for me is the physics of the certain situations. I know it is for the sake of fanservice but it is just shown in an unbelievable way. Like that hose entangling incident and the panties bounded running away scene. Logic is tossed away like a ragged cloth in favour of that irrational fanservice moment. But can you complain about it since it is meant to be fun. Sure, they should have put it more realistically but I guess this is an old anime so… The art and drawing are also so old that the girls here don’t look ‘pretty’ compared to today’s standard. Forgive me. I thought Barako had such a big forehead that I could write one of Einstein’s equations on it… And I do find it unbelievably odd that her feelings can be easily swayed because I believe the Egyptian guy didn’t do anything much. And for her to go back to him means that she might just be running away from whatever tiff (assuming there was ever one) and temporarily using Yuusuke to fill that void.

At this rate, Yuusuke is either going to die of a heart attack from having too much kinky contact with the twins or he is going to get immune to it and perhaps turn into a little devil himself. Either way, women are going to play a big role in his life, right? He doesn’t fear the ditzy twins as much as the first time he met them except when they start to get horny. Thank goodness so far there are only the twins. Imagine how bad it can get if you throw in other stereotype tropes into the equation. The strict class monitor, the quiet classmate, the popular student council member, the cousin from the countryside, the sister you never thought you had, the long lost childhood friend, the tsundere girl across the road, the exotic exchange student, the rich oujo-sama, the nerd, the magical girl wannabe, the frail/weak with a tragic past/circumstances, the tomboyish or athletic, the trap or even reverse trap, etc. Did I miss out any? So perhaps to lessen the psychological impact, maybe Yuusuke can take this maths lesson and equation: Add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! Now do you see, maths is fun!