Dirty Pair

October 24, 2015

I didn’t know I went back that far in time to pick a retro anime to watch. I was surprised that it has been 30 years since Dirty Pair first debuted on TV! Wow. That was way back in 1985. Yup. I’m feeling so old right now. I am not sure if I could say that the series is ahead of its time because of the futuristic setting and using a pair of strong female leads as the main cast of characters but I suppose it was the root for certain animes that showcased a team of capable women like Cat’s Eye, Gunsmith Cats, Noir, Kiddy Grade and even the off-colour humour of Panty And Stockings With Garterbelt. Yeah, anime has come a long way. A very long way indeed. I really feel so old right now.

So what attracted me to pick this old school retro anime? Well, reading the short synopsis was amusing enough. With humans spreading across the known galaxy in the distant future, I am sure there give rise to a lot of problems. Therefore a corporation was established to send out agents that would ‘troubleshoot’ these problems. However there is an infamous pair that has a reputation of leaving a trail of destruction behind them and their most often used excuse for it all? “It’s not our fault!”. Wow. This I got to see.

Episode 1
3WA Trouble Consultants’ Lovely Angels duo, Kei and Yuri are having some sort of trouble. In fact, the entire tower is going crazy since Brian the computer is malfunctioning. The residents are panicking and running away from the chaos. So when the pair tries to address the crowd, they don’t recognize them and think they are a pair of female pro-wrestlers! Yuri thinks they should use the nickname everybody is familiar of but Kei will not allow it. Anarchy rises when the floods breach the safe areas. As the duo try to make their way to the top via elevator, a couple of enforcements recognize them as Dirty Pair (although the duo pretty much try to avoid acknowledging it) want to help them stop Brian’s malfunction but they got done in by an accident. So much for help. At the top, the contact their bear pet (or is it a cat?), Mughi to ride a capsule alone to bring their ship here along with Nanmo. The duo are attacked by robots and fall off the metal bar they are clinging on to. Thanks to Yuri’s parachute, they land down below but it’s not a pleasant one. They hijack a car and fly deep into the tower as robots are hot on their trail. When they finally make contact with Brian, this computer wants to destroy humanity for its betrayal. Something about a Z-box that wipes out its memories. Really? Then why does it still remember about this unit that he doesn’t recognize? They threaten to shoot it down with high temperature lasers that Nanmo is controlling since Brian needs low temperature to operate. Brian won’t comply. Nanmo fires the beams and the entire tower is now tilted! Boy, they sure live up to their nickname. Kei then asks Brian a question and promises they won’t bug him again if he answers. Which of the pair is better? I guess they are so notorious that it takes Brian a long time to process. Kei takes this chance to contact somebody and threatens him to warp some junk ship into the core because computers break down when they have the slightest dirt in their system, right? So when the warp commences, I can’t believe Brian is screaming in pain before going offline! The day is saved. But at what cost? Somebody is going to have to remove that junk ship and install a new computer… Not our Lovely Angels because when their boss, Gooley continues screaming at them (he has been doing it all day), they just turn off the communicator. Another good job done. Add that to their ever growing reputation…

Episode 2
A company’s plane explodes and they believe it wasn’t the engine’s fault but a bomb. They want the new route opening to be postponed but the boss will not and tells them to hire 3WA. Our Dirty Pair would have gotten their usual lecture from their boss for that tilting tower incident but looks like they’ve been hired for another job. This time they will be working with Nova Grave who will be their senior and giving orders. First thing Kei asks if he has chest hair because she hates them! WTF?! So as they board the plane to investigate, they believe it is a conspiracy from rival companies to sabotage them. Of course the ladies aren’t going to sit around obeying his orders. Grave spots a couple of suspicious guys while inspecting and it is confirmed that they might be the culprits because also reported in are a couple of staffs who were beaten up and their uniforms stolen. But that is not all of them. As Kei is checking things from the outside, she spots 3 space guys putting bombs all over. She engages them while ordering Nanmo to diffuse the bombs. Yuri tries to go to her aid but was attacked. Thanks to Mughi assisting, Yuri is able to put those Blues Brothers at bay. Kei screwed up and an explosion destroys part of the ship. If they don’t do anything soon, they’ll be down for. I guess it’s up to the ladies since Grave has been injured in the attack at the cockpit. As the passengers are in panic and trying to flee for the evacuate ships, the door is jam. How to solve this? Kei just shoots it open! Now that everyone is evacuated, Lovely Angels won’t abandon ship as they don’t want their notorious reputation to increase. So they’re going to pilot this ship? Despite the bombs are diffused, the ship went off trajectory and is projected to crash into a city. Because the boosters lack power, Kei is going to fix it while Yuri pilots and Grave monitoring the monitor. Too bad for all the tall buildings getting destroyed by the ship’s close proximity. But good news, they safely crash land in the dessert without destroying the city! Grave must be really relieved because he looked worried for the entire flight. The case is solved when it is determined a rival company was indeed behind the sabotage. Lovely Angels see Grave at the hospital, give him a kiss and hope they can work together again. Why? Because he shows them he has no chest hair! So that makes him a nice guy?

Episode 3
Kei is furious that their vacation is cancelled so that they have to go find some casino owner, King. She’s causing traffic accidents along the way! Inside the casino as they start to find him, they are met with Sydney who is King’s attendant. He shows the ladies to King and Yuri uses her suave charms and cool beauty to play a blackjack game of high stakes with King. She’s exuding with confidence like as though she’s going to win. She lost. Big. Yeah. They blew all the money. However you can say that they ‘won’ the bet when Sydney calls them as King is interested in them and has invited them to his mansion. Can’t say no to that. Of course King knows those ladies aren’t just your ordinary chicks and has run a background check on them. When Lovely Angels arrive at his mansion, Sydney frisks them for weapons before leaving them alone in a room. A huge fat guy enters and attacks them. In another room, King has his guests place bets while watching this ‘entertainment’. The ladies use their hidden weapons (I guess Sydney was just pretending) and then a flash grenade to wipe out the surveillance camera. While King tries to get his men fix it, Mughi and Nanmo have infiltrated the mansion in search of a chip (their true goal). They bust out and bump into Sydney who reveals he is their comrade. He tells them about the security system and some fusion reactor they must disable to obtain the chip. Kei goes to disarm the fusion reactor by simply pressing the buttons. Sure, it stopped. Now the mansion will self destruct! As apology for not telling her that, Kei will go back to try to minimize the damage as he tells her to escape. He shuts her up with a kiss. Yuri is in a room filled with people trying to find that chip. They’re more infatuated with finding that instead of evacuating? And why the heck does this mansion have so many guests?! Where the heck did they come from?! Yuri manages to steal the chip from the losers as they escape moments before the entire estate explodes! Unfortunately Yuri grabbed the fake chip. At the airport, Lovely Angels stop Sydney from boarding a plane. They know he went back to get the real chip. He reveals he went undercover for 4 years to earn King’s trust just to get the chip. Then he makes one last bet with them and he thought he could swindle them by switching the chip. He lost and gives the chip back to them before rushing to catch his flight. He realized too late that he got the fake one. Yuri teases Kei that she likes Sydney.

Episode 4
When Gooley calls his girls for a job, they don’t feel like doing it and give excuses. Just get to it! They meet up with some scientist dude who needs a cat named Malatesta to be retrieved because it was in an experiment injected with muscle fortifier whose time effect is unknown. As for whether it might be stolen, he thinks not because there are locations that it was spotted. Those are cake shops and Malatesta loves cheese cakes. Kei is surprised to see his sister, Lan who is one of the tag team pro wrestlers that she is a big fan of. But big brother doesn’t like her since she turned her back on science. As Kei stakes out at a cake shop, Malatesta shows its ugly side by snatching a cheese cake. Time for the chase to begin and of course the start of a trail of destruction. The worst hit one is a pair of newlyweds because Kei barged into their room and with that ambiguous talk that she has found him (the cat followed them) and this causes lots of tension for the bride. So when Malatesta escaped and Kei went after it, the bride thought of forgiving him but it is round 2 when it is Yuri’s turn to barge in and do the same thing (she followed the footprints). Can they just simply do that? Big misunderstanding leads to bride wants a divorce. So sad… The chase continues to a hair bank. Lovely Angels have to initiate a robbery so the staffs will have to open the vault. I can’t believe they didn’t even realize a cat was inside. Even more so, why didn’t Malatesta panicked in that dark and was just sleeping? Suddenly a train crashes in. Seems the Blues Brothers derailed the tracks just for this elaborated stint. Don’t you think this is lots of work? They want our ladies to hand over the cat but they won’t and beat them up. The place is now filled with police but the ladies feign they were being taken hostage to escape. But the police are once on their trail once they realize they are also the culprits. Now the chase ends up on a high dangerous construction site. Lan shows up and is the one hiring those mobs to get the cat because she wants to sell it to make money. So this becomes a silly game of tag and balancing act as the ladies duke it out while the police had to forward and reverse their cars just to keep balance. And the construction worker is just giving lip service… I don’t know how it all ends but when Lovely Angels return Malatesta to the scientist, he says it is the wrong cat because Malatesta is female. This one is male. So where is the real one? On some beach facing off with Mughi…

Episode 5
Yuri and Kei are fighting over a favourite playing on the radio. Yuri is annoyed that Kei keeps boasting about their date and not amused they rented this dorky ship instead. Suddenly they are hit by some warp but surprisingly come out unscathed. After forcing a hotel staff to skip procedures and give them a room (their reputation has him running the errands), Yuri experiences some horrifying countdown visions. The duo are then attacked by robots (time for mindless destruction of everything) as they make a run for it. When they manage to get into their ship and escape they have a feeling they are wanted alive because there were numerous chances of them being killed but yet those robots purposely missed. For now they play along. The robots hijack their ship and they enter another warp. They enter a huge familiar abandoned disposal plant, Criados. As far as they remember, it was closed a long time ago due to crew deaths. They have Nanmo scan a list of names of anyone in this plant who has a grudge on them. The robots start destroying the ship so the ladies are forced to put on their space suits and head out. Once more details surface, they believe the one behind this is J.S. Criados. But isn’t he already dead? They remember he was a mad scientist on some drugs. They were on that mission and busted him. He committed suicide 1.5 years ago. So is his ghost back to get revenge? They think before his death, he might set traps to activate their execution (perhaps that countdown thingy). So as the robots and structure try to crush them, time is running out in the countdown. Nanmo then takes out its memory disk and gives it to Yuri. Kei understands what Nanmo is doing. Because Nanmo was created later after Criados’ death, there is no way that scientist would know it had a self destruct mechanism in it. Nanmo then heads to the core and blows up to stop the execution. Well, they can always make another Nanmo as long as they have the disk, right? Once it is over, Kei quickly takes a ship and heads off leaving Yuri behind because her date is waiting.

Episode 6
Lovely Angels are to escort a ship carrying some important prism. But because a pirate group, Devil’s Syndicate has learnt about this, they are sending out many fakes on different routes. It is not known if Lovely Angels are escorting the real one or not but the real prism will explode if it is forced open. Lovely Angels are attacked by a ship trying to make them identify themselves. Kei won’t let this slip and goes to hijack their ship with Mughi. She is shocked to see they have all the data and passwords on the ships. Realizing they are targeting ships with certain names (the reason they are in a hurry to identify them), Kei knows their escort carries the fake. As she heads back, the boss ship attacks them. The captain seems to know Kei but she doesn’t remember who he is. He lets her go because he doesn’t want to hurt his childhood friend. Still don’t remember? Then it hit her. He is Kaia and he hates this vain guy because he is the kind who thinks women want him. Kaia says that they are after the prism and not them so why not cooperate and hand it over? No can do. Thus he promises to let them go if she tells the name of the ship. But when Kei does so, Kaia immediately knows this ship contains the real prism. He wants her to hand it over but she won’t. Time for a space chase. Since he is so persistent, Kei is exactly going to do that because she lied the name of this ship to get him thinking it was the real one. But when she goes to check the container, it actually contains the real prism! She then diffuses the bombs to take the real prism out. Finally after being cornered, Kei gives the container (after setting the self destruct timer) but she won’t join him like he wants. Therefore value the container in her place. Smooth words. Kaia can’t contain his silly laughter once he gets the container but then it explodes. Abandon ship! Gooley gives Lovely Angels a rare praise for a job well done. They accuse him of knowing everything all along but he genuinely doesn’t and only recently knew about it. Then he senses something amiss. Did they actually deliver the prism? He threatens to cut their pay and bonuses after learning the container exploded. But when Lovely Angels threaten to microwave the prism, he takes back his threats so they go deliver the prism and all they have to do now is wait for their special rewards.

Episode 7
Clicky Goldjeff is getting married to several women?! But why is he chained to them? He doesn’t look happy… Suddenly Joanca (disguised as the organist) starts shooting and causing havoc to free Clicky and run. He looks happy. This must be the women of his dreams, eh? So the father hires Lovely Angels to get his son back (the ladies must be trying hard to suck up to him – because they quickly call his ugly son a handsome man) and doesn’t care about the money. Give the money to that Joanca b*tch. All he wants is his son’s safe return. So Kei is complaining about this joke job in her room when they get a surprise call from Joanca who tells them the time and location of the exchange. She really knows how to strike a nerve with the Dirty Pair about the subject of beauty and all… And while they’re mad, Clicky is having a blissful tour with Joanca. They seem to be like too the next day so when Lovely Angels confront them and tell Joanca to drop the act and that she’s just doing this to extort more money, she doesn’t know what they’re talking about. When they throw her the suitcase, her character change. Now she says since the money is hers, she doesn’t need Clicky anymore. Everything was a lie. Clicky is such a sad boy. Kei attacks her but senses something amiss when she doesn’t evade. Joanca then breaks down. The culprit turns out to be Clicky’s dad and his secretary. That suitcase contained some sort of mechanism that controls her nervous system. Kei realizes last night’s footage was an animated photo of Joanca sent by the secretary. Father will not allow Clicky and Joanca to be together because he hates her. Why? Because Joanca was once a man! No wonder she looks so manly (can it also mean that Clicky is a little gay?). But Clicky doesn’t care about her past and loves her now. With Lovely Angels overwhelmed, they can’t do anything. Father takes Clicky and Joanca back. He is going to send Joanca on a space trip. Oh, she’ll come back. In 50 years! I don’t know how Lovely Angels break out from their bind but they manage to barge into the base. Accidentally they make the father push the blast off button. There goes Joanca into space… Clicky wants to follow her but father disallows. Kei becomes a strong supporter for Clicky to be a real man and go after his woman. And so there goes Clicky… Father is sad and all he wants was his son to be happy. Since he can’t live without his son, he is going to follow him too!!!!! NO SH*T!!! And there goes daddy into space… I am sure his secretary wants to go to but there are no more capsules… Man, who is going to run the conglomerate now? Ah well, see you in 50 years. Lovely Angels will become grandmas by then…

Episode 8
When Yuri gets a love letter transmission from Billy Galet at Lucia, she wants to resign! Heck, even Gooley doesn’t mind throwing a disbanding party! Turns out Yuri and Billy made a promise 12 years ago (that means they were kids then) that after he finishes a ship named Lucia, they will get married and travel around. Seeing the ‘stupidity’ of this, Gooley lost interest and just let Kei solve this. Of course while Yuri is eager for her awaited promise, Kei pours cold water on it that Billy may have changed and all that. But Kei is kind enough to do some investigation and turns out Billy is indeed an engineer instead of a gangster but what is worrying where the transmission came from. It is from Poisonville and rumours believed engineers were kidnapped to develop something secret. There, they even have and aerial visual of where the hidden factory is! The letter may be a call for help. Yuri wants to go save him but Gooley stops her. They are doing business not a hobby. Strangely, they get a call from a client who will pay millions to save them. I guess there’s a contract now. That caller is actually Kei. So they head to Poisonville and I suppose infiltrating is easy because the slacking guards never expected anybody to break into this SECRET base, right? Even if some spot the girls, they let their guard down (which is pretty ironic) and easily got owned. More hilarity ensues when Kei plants bombs and after they go off, Yuri ushers the engineers into their getaway ship. The baddies can’t shoot the engineers since they are needed alive. So how? Just stand there and get owned! More farcical when baddies’ bullet don’t hit but our ladies, their mini bazooka can bring down towers! Yuri goes off to find Billy but does she know how this dorky kid looks now? Because this injured engineer she helped looks handsome… Aren’t all the engineers handsome? Kei senses something amiss and counts short the engineers. She goes back to Billy’s locker and finds a machine. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY KEEPING A MACHINE INSIDE THERE?! Instantly she knew Billy is dead but I don’t know how he timed the machine to send that distress signal. So Kei lies to Yuri that Billy is already onboard. Kei sacrifices herself for everyone to get away but Yuri turns back to help her. They’re partners anyway. Kei tells her she talked to Billy and looks like it is going to be a while for Lucia to be finished. Yuri understands. Yeah well, I think Kei put a bomb in the machine to blow up the hangar. There’s your Billy in pieces. Reinforcements arrive and Yuri is upset to learn Kei is that caller and the deposit paid was from their joint account. No millions reward, I guess… Oh well, at least they get to take out their frustration by gunning down everybody and blowing up everything.

Episode 9
Lovely Angels are shot down so while Nanmo is fixing the ship, they head into this Wild West planet. Everyone starts closing their doors and run for cover not because they know about Dirty Pair’s reputation. Seems Montal’s Private Police are doing their rounds. What are they? Mad Max parody? Of course with them bossing around, Kei won’t stand for it or their rules and beats them up. At first she wanted to be hired by them but now she is not too sure. Then Yuri comes into the scene as a gunslinger to settle the score (all part of Kei’s lame story plan). It ends with Kei dropping a bomb and everybody runs for their lives. Yuri is hired to be Montal’s bodyguard while Kei runs away with a rival faction, Tokech and is also hired as his bodyguard. Of course this is all also part of the plan as they both keep tabs and exchange information. Montal’s side is to load some weapons so Tokech’s faction goes all out to sabotage. I don’t know why Montal’s son tries to flirt with Yuri at such a crucial time but she beats him up. The girls pretend to fight and in the end Kei flies away in Montal’s ship. While Montal is cursing his luck, Tokech and his men come in with his son captive. However they claim they have saved him and reveal about Dirty Pair working in their midst. Tokech is just here to talk because they know better that their constant fighting over some weapon and mineral could actually destroy this planet. So the next day, both sides send their hired guns to face off at the mines. It is a one-on-one fight so they won’t get involved. Yeah, a nice plan to see them take out each other but they’re not putting much hope on it since they’re betting as comrades they won’t attack each other and get ready to shoot at them. But to their utmost shock, the ladies start slapping and punching each other! I know they’re acting but something tells me they have grudges to take out on each other. The tables are turned when Nanmo returns with the fixed ship. I guess everybody got so scared about its beam that they decide to let the girls go without any harm. As they board back their ship and Kei patting Nanmo for a job well done, I don’t know what malfunction occurred because this made the ship fire into the mines! Holy sh*t! It’s exploding! Everybody run for your lives! The chain reaction causes the entire planet to be destroyed! HOLY SH*T!!!!!! And Kei says it is not her fault???!!!

Episode 10
On Planet Caspia, during a parade the king suddenly got a heart attack! Although he is reported to be in stable condition, actually he has already passed on. Thus Lovely Angels are called in to protect and bring back Prince Heace who is currently away studying at a university. Why? Because if anything else happens to him, the throne will go to a distant relative, Duke Ruber. And we know this is a shady guy because he deals with drugs and already knows the king is dead after bribing the nurse to get the info. He wastes no time to set his plans in motion. Lovely Angels thought they failed when they arrive at the university because Ruber’s robots have blown everything up. But as they escape, they are shocked to come into the young prince himself. No, he is not a ghost. Luckily his friends snuck him out to the disco. One of those times when playing truant was good, eh? So Lovely Angels take him and escape but the robots are hot on their tail and shoot them down. Stranded and without any communication, instead of sitting around, better start walking to the nearest space port. The prince is less whiny than the women… As they make camp in a cave for the night, they thought an enemy is going to assault them. Turns out a group of travellers were camping nearby and since they’re going in the same direction, they’ll gladly give them a lift. However Kei has a bad feeling they are not trustworthy. It gets worse when the TV news reports that the prince has been kidnapped by a couple of Lovely Angels knock offs and there’s a bounty on their head. A young girl, Rita decides to help them escape but in exchange to get a cut (because Lovely Angels will get a big bonus if they pull off this mission). She reveals everyone is in cohorts to turn them in. As she has had it with her stingy boss and is going to use the money to live a better life in another planet. Heace can’t feel envious of her because she is in control of her destiny. It doesn’t take long before the rest realize their bounty is gone and they go on a chase. With multiple sides aiming for them, it is a good thing they turn on each other for our heroines to get out of their sticky river sand predicament. The travellers destroy Ruber’s men’s ship. The police arrive. Lovely Angels thought the day is saved but they are thrown into prison along with the travellers. The police don’t believe they are the real deal and claim the credit for themselves. They thought Heace would vouch for them to get out but he will let them stay in their cell a little longer to have them think of a change in career. Don’t get the wrong idea. He is grateful to them. But what is he going to do now? He is going to rendezvous with Rita and takes a quick field trip with her before he leaves this planet. You lucky bastard… And what is left for Lovely Angels to do in their spare time is to start blaming each other…

Episode 11
Lovely Angels are complaining they are working nonstop! So after forcing Gooley to give them a week off, they finish their current mission by blowing everything up! HOLY SH*T!!! But now that they are ready to call their boyfriends for a date, it seems none are willing to go out with them! Curses! They receive a party invitation from some guy G.A. Francess so I guess they have no choice but to go. Because Yuri feels her dress is not appropriate, she decides to stop by a planet to do her shopping. Suddenly police surround them and mistake them to be criminals, Pete and Moila. Especially they think Kei is a guy! What else to do? Run! I can’t believe the place is flooded with cops and their shooting destroy everything except hitting them! When Lovely Angels get back to their ship, there are several kids playing on it. They try to get them off but they won’t. The police interpret this scene is kidnapping. Inside the ship, the kids runabout to make fools of the ladies. Now that the army is called, they tell them to release the kids. But can those adults believe they are Dirty Pair when the kids don’t even believe it? Yeah, because Kei and Yuri are much prettier than them… They thought the kids were being abused but it is actually Kei crying from their abuse! When Lovely Angels argue among themselves, it is only then the kids start to believe they are the real deal. After rounding them up and pretending to take them hostage, the army lets them go. I don’t know how because the kids escape and the next thing I know, they end up in prison. Once the commissioner finds out their identity and is going to release them, they have already broken out. That’s Dirty Pair reputation for you. Be thankful they didn’t blow up the building. Along the way, they see a bank robbery in progress by the real Pete and Moila. Because the kids point out the real Dirty Pair, the public hounds them so they are forced to go save the day. Their slick and sharpshooting save the day and they are disappointed to see their real faces. Old and creepy people… They are rushing for the party but the press hounds them for interview. They manage to give them the slip and warp in time to the party. Be prepared for another disappointment because this party is hosted by Gooley to show his appreciation to them. They should have known better. Gooley Andrew Francess was him and that photo was a picture of him when he was young. No rich handsome studs around. Just old boring people… Might as well enjoy it since they’re here.

Episode 12
3WA building is under tight security as some security system called Algernon has been stolen. Ironic, isn’t it? However they realize the culprit has not left yet and thus the shut down. Of course Lovely Angels are not thrilled to learn they are on the job since it is the chief of R&D department, Fangoria who requested them. They better get the job done before this old witch gets pissed. But that is after negotiating for special bonus and vacation from Gooley. When they meet her, she does not give much detail about Algernon and just tells them to find it. So they try asking the computer. It won’t answer them too. So how? They destroy it! WTF?! They go check the kitchen and see their Chinese chef, Chan killing rats. He goes to the storage to bring their favourite food but it is filled with rats! Rat attack! The entire building is overrun with them! Rat revolution?! Heck, they can steal weapons and control the building’s system?! Even funnier is how Mughi is afraid of rats and gets taken hostage by them! It is discovered that Algernon is a rat with high IQ. Chichi is another rat with high IQ but is within their captivity. Fangoria also reveals this project is to see the effectiveness of intelligent mice to protect top secret data and what better way than to test Algernon’s abilities using the most reckless partners in history. Yeah, a setup, right? To see if that mouse can protect itself from Lovely Angels. Algernon makes contact that he is taking over the building and wants all humans to leave. The rats invade to free Chichi. Lovely Angels bring in a truck load of cats to fight but they all get scared after the rats fight back! WTF???!!! The only way left is to face off with them directly. Lovely Angels make way to their main base and fell into their trap. They’re supposed to use a flea that sucks out their intelligence but accidentally got it upon themselves. Now they’re bimbos? But it was just to let their guard down as they summon Nanmo to free them (and Mughi) to capture the brainy ones. As they’re about to inject the flea into Algernon, Chichi covers for him and returns into a normal rat. The flea escapes and before the girls get bitten, they crush it. Algernon escapes but soon leaps to its death. Too smart for its own good? Yeah, with dumb humans around, I see no reason to live anymore.

Episode 13
A couple of cleaners are checking out the cesspool when they are attacked by a monster! As they are reported missing, Lovely Angels are assigned for the job and the management chief doesn’t like this a bit because they tilted this tower before. What more misery will they bring? However somebody’s got to do the job. As they’re checking out, they stumble upon one of the missing crew. They rescue him in time and killed the monster. But the case is not solved yet as they think there are more of such monsters inside the sewers. Lovely Angels brief a team on how to lure out those monsters and destroy them with acid (it is believed the only way to kill them since some of its corpses are found with that). Everything goes fine until a big mother monster surfaces. They fight with all they’ve got but it escapes. So it’s no wonder the crew leaves feeling dejected and defeated. The management chief blames Dirty Pair that those monsters were eating themselves and what happens when their food source is gone? But nobody could have known a giant mother was down there, right? After doing a little more research on this monster, the plan now is to lure it out and Lovely Angels will be the decoy. All they want is for all the lights in the sewers to be turned off and constant communication. They sit and wait till the big mother surfaces. It becomes a cat and mouse game. When Lovely Angels lure it to certain points, the management team freezes it with liquid nitrogen. But it breaks out and regenerates. This goes on a few more times until it cannot break out from its freeze. Lovely Angels leave it to the management team to clean up but collide on their way out because it is dark.

Episode 14
Lovely Angels wouldn’t care about a damn thing if there is a presidential candidate speech at 3WA because all they care about is their cut pay! They want an explanation from Gooley but he scolds them as he knows they were fooling around and covering up entertainment expenses in the guise of their work. There is an announcement that a security personnel’s body is found. So how do you get Lovely Angels to get on the job? Offer a raise… They make a bet on the infiltrator’s target: The presidential candidate or the Pandora’s Vault security system. Since Yuri bets on the latter, she goes to observe the all-female crew doing its maintenance while Kei has the misfortune to bump into Chan who wants her to pay her gambling debts back. She hides in the women’s locker room thinking he won’t come in but he did! In all that commotion, a corpse falls out from a locker. Kei makes her way to the vault and confronts the maintenance crew. She knows one of them is an imposter. The imposter was dumb enough to give himself away by running back into the vault. So when Kei corners him inside it, the vault is locked down. As explained, when this happens, it becomes the tightest security ever because it is controlled by some independent computer. This means you can’t deactivate it. Great, why ever create such a problematic system? Furthermore, the computer is making Kei and the culprit see fearful visions. Yuri deduces the culprit must have planted bombs inside the vault to erase criminal records. How is she going to solve this? Destroy the independent computer! She did just that and Kei just apprehended the culprit who confessed he was hired to erase files of a particular man. When the presidential candidate is about to give his speech, Lovely Angels hijack it to show everyone in the hall his past files. He was a conman and murderer on the run. I guess that ends his presidential hopes. Yuri wants to know when Kei will pay her bet but Kei reneges on her promise that she never placed any bet and that Yuri told her she didn’t like gambling. But they have to run for their lives when Chan comes looking for them. Pay up!

Episode 15
While Lovely Angels are vacationing and being hit on by a handsome guy who wants to send roses to their room, an old cowboy dude bumps into them while running away from MIBs. Kei helps him by taking them out. Grandpa is looking for Lovely Angels and wants to hire them. Seems when he was young he found a key to a treasure of an ancient civilization. It took him years to decipher it and when he did, his assistant of 5 years, Clementine betrayed him (those goons she sent). He wants to hire them to protect him while he gets the treasure. He is willing to give them 10% of it but those greedy babes want 20%. Then a helicopter fires into their room. Willing to increase their share to be saved? What choice does he have? Then it’s settled. Kei easily shoots it down. While on the way to the treasure planet, grandpa cooks garlic to boost their stamina. Not only everyone can’t stand the smell, it causes the ship to malfunction and crash land! So while Mughi fixes everything, the rest go treasure hunting. However Clementine is already there and snatches the key from him before caving in the ceiling to separate them. Don’t worry, grandpa knows the temple better inside out. They hear Clementine screaming and she is faced with a multi-headed serpent. Kei shoots a camera and it turns out to be just a hologram. Grandpa wants Clementine to hand over the key but she throws it away. They try to catch it but fall into a trap door. Then the water starts seeping in and the ceiling getting lower. This isn’t hologram. Oh, how they regret they should’ve been hit on by that guy and being sent roses to go with. Thankfully Mughi and Nanmo are here to diffuse the trap. Grandpa is so grateful that he hugs Nanmo. His garlic breath malfunctions it. Fix it again? As they approach the final room, grandpa sees the door not opened yet. The key is on the floor and Clementine is caught in a trap. This is because he knows it takes 3 people to activate it. After having Lovely Angels stand at designated places, they have to push down blocks that pop up. So this is where your garlic stamina comes in? When it’s over, the door finally opens. Nothing but rocks? There is a note saying that the real treasure is teamwork. Disappointed? As Lovely Angels lament their fate in their apartment, they see the news how an old geezer sold an ancient note to the government (which is worth more than the value of the supposed treasure!). They’ve been had! But grandpa didn’t forget them. He delivers so many roses to them that could fill up their room. Yeah, they’ve been had but this isn’t bad either.

Episode 16
Lovely Angels aren’t thrilled to be called in for an escort job for the chairman of Yorozuya Corporations on their day off. Gooley knows how to make them do it: Bonus… So the duo are here to escort the chairman but are shocked to find her a young lady, Sakurako. She just took over the helm after her dad and president passed away. So why do they have to be her bodyguard to town? She just wants to see it! So she acts like a country bumpkin, excited to see everything for the first time that it makes her stick out like a sore thumb. Some gangs try to hit on them but Kei beats them up. As Sakurako excuses herself to the toilet, the duo complain about this babysitting job when they realize she is taking too long. She left a note she is gone. Looks like she wants to do outing on her own. Lovely Angels got the guts to return and report to her executives that she is missing. But since there is no time for the evening banquet, they want one of them to act as her double since the guests don’t know how she looks like. Yuri must be fuming that she is the one who has to go look for Sakurako but she doesn’t know that is an easier job. Because Kei thought she could live the rich life only to discover her food is carefully inspected for poison before she eats and she has to stamp heaps of documents! Hard work! Meanwhile an agent of a local rival company spots Sakurako alone and the big bad boss thinks of a plan that would revoke Yorozuya’s project contract so his could have another contract chance again. Yuri finds her but she runs (causing a traffic pile up). She catches up and Sakurako would love to see more of the city but promises to fulfil her duty. A sniper shot almost hits her (he’s a bad shot if you consider it) so they run into an arcade game whereby Sakurako had fun playing shoot the aliens. No, some effects are not real. It’s the sniper out to get you! So the cat and mouse game continues till the entire complex is destroyed! But can they make it back in time now? Because punctuality has been the corporation’s biggest credibility and if she’s a minute late, it’s all over. The executives are sweating over it (have more faith!) and Kei whom I believe is lazy to think of a plan is putting her trust in Yuri. Then here she comes with the local gang escorting them. They throw smoke and put up a commotion as diversion for Kei and Sakurako to switch. Big bad rival boss thinks his sniper has done his job seeing Sakurako hasn’t showed up. Imagine his shock when he sees her. Lesson: Never count your chickens. Later, Lovely Angels see Sakurako in a TV interview. I don’t know what dumb question is being asked about what she would like to be when reincarnated. She didn’t hesitate to say she would love to become part of 3WA Trouble Consultants!

Episode 17
Alan Jamis, the best crime consultant of 3WA has died. He spent 13 years chasing an assassin name Sundric. However he left a vital clue. For sure, Sundric will be aboard a certain plane to a certain planet. So Kei masquerades as a nun and Yuri an air-stewardess on board this flight to nab that assassin. The other passengers include superstar heartthrob Bobbit Huey, shady political lawyer Marcus Brannigan, nurse Margaret Tyner and her son Jack, and illustrator Ralph Ray. One of these suspects is Sundric as believed. Suddenly the captain goes crazy. He kills his co-pilot before turning the gun on himself. Worse, he locked out all communications and set the plane towards a black hole. As Ralph recognizes Dirty Pair, they then make a plea for Sundric to decode and overwrite the flight route. Well, you think the assassin is just going to come clean? They suggest everyone stays in their room for 20 minutes to allow whoever this Sundric dude to come out and decode it. Fair enough for anonymity? However Ralph steals a plane to escape himself, not heeding warning there’s a bomb on it. After a short distance, it explodes. Well, at least he isn’t the assassin. As everyone waits, Yuri is attacked by Marcus. He thinks Sundric will reveal himself if he kills her. What kind of logic is that? Meanwhile Kei is being ‘attacked’ by Huey. He is trying to score with her since he has fallen for her but she is not impressed with his perversion. Heck, he even admits he is the world’s biggest pervert. Even more shocking, he admits he is Sundric and will act depending on her answer. Lovely Angels see Margaret sneaking into the cockpit. When they confront her, she reveals it was to retrieve a locket from the captain who is Jack’s actual father whom he has never met. The locket indeed has Margaret’s portrait. He probably did this after seeing them. Huh? As they inch closer to the black hole, Lovely Angels are resorting to pressing random numbers, huh? But when Jack starts playing on his melodian, Mary Had A Little Lamb, it gave Yuri an idea. She keys in the number corresponding to the tune. Unfortunately it set off the self destruct mode. It is all up to Kei to go diffuse the bomb at the back of the ship outside. She thinks Marcus is the culprit but to her surprise, it is Ralph! He is the real Sundric and trying to defuse the code. Seems he killed Marcus and assumed his identity since he has business to take care using his identity. So that escape ship was just Marcus’ dead body on it. As they struggle, Kei is thrown off into space. However the bomb goes off and Ralph gets burnt. Kei resigns to her fate but here comes Huey to the rescue. He picks up a woman with an equally cheesy pick up line.

Episode 18
Lovely Angels barge in to capture BJ, a petty thief. However he returns fire and before you know it, the entire hotel is destroyed! Turns out this is the wrong guy! So why he fired back? He thought they were thieves. Also, they got the wrong hotel. It is next door. Oops! So they got it right this time although BJ has some petty tricks up his sleeve. He also has some wise cracks but with that electric handcuff to zap him, he’ll be put back in his place in no time. Lovely Angels hate the delivery job of ending him to the police station but after Gooley ticks them off for destroying a hotel, you better be good girls and do what you’re told. After refuelling, they find the car a little more than heavy. Because there is a bomb underneath? How now? Abandon ship! They let the car crash and explode… The police chief confirms with Gooley that it seems a certain gang is out for BJ and will do what it takes to kill him. With no car, the trio now takes a bus. Better than walking. Of course those gangs start pulling up and making road blocks but Kei tells the bus driver to drive through. The passengers are badass too because they start throwing whatever they get their hands on at those MIBs. When a stink bomb is thrown in, Lovely Angels and BJ escape via sewer but more MIBs await and they are only saved thanks to some giant cleaning ball rolling by. So they contact Gooley who informs them that BJ is an important witness and his testifying will bust some big drug syndicate. Lovely Angels cannot fathom that the gangs know their exact position since the only one who can track them is the police chief. Gooley will go talk with him while the ladies continue to bring them in. They are attacked by more MIBs but a shocking find is that they have police badges. When Gooley confronts the police chief, he learns he is the biggest culprit behind it. BJ’s testifying will cause problems for many people so the police are going to get rid of him. The police chief shoots him but thank goodness he is such a bad shot. With Gooley giving Lovely Angels to go all out (it’s like the word they’ve been waiting to hear), Lovely Angels hijack a trailer and ram through the police defence! Unstoppable. Even more unbelievable is how they run through the station chasing the police chief till he gets cornered. He is arrested and Gooley is taken to hospital. They even joked how they could be criminals had they completely destroy the police station. You don’t say… Because it is crumbling down now! Oh sh*t! What to do? RUN!

Episode 19
I guess when you’ve worked and planned everything so hard only for Lovely Angels to destroy everything, you can’t blame big bad guy Giloss for being persistent in taking them down, right? But he lost in the aerial dog fight. However Lovely Angels’ pod ran out of fuel so they irresponsibly eject and let it slam into a mansion of a wealthy young man, Reamonn and ‘killed’ his beloved Meshuzera (a doll). Therefore Gooley gets a request from him to find out Meshuzera’s killers as Reamonn expressed he wants to kill them himself. Reamonn is a strange man as we know it since he hates real woman and thus the only woman he could love was a doll he made himself. But that is not 3WA’s concern. They are to find the killers. Of course when Lovely Angels realize the date, time, place and what ‘killed’ Meshuzera, they’re sweating in their pants. They think of ways to settle this but decide to charm him and teach him that real women can be wonderful. They also have ulterior motive to show their superior feminine side to the other. So when they meet him at Meshuzera’s grave, he starts getting disgusted because the duo are trying to outdo each other in tackling him. His maid, Miralda warns them not to get too close because he is allergic to women and starts sneezing. As they investigate the site, Yuri touches him to soothe his heart but he goes crazy and starts bashing things up! Is his allergy that bad? Miralda puts him to bed although he is grateful that she stays by his side despite his condition. Lovely Angels try to win Reamonn’s heart via cooking as they sabotage each other when the other isn’t looking. Remember Giloss? He wants his revenge as his submarine surfaces from underneath Reamonn’s mansion! As his men attack, Lovely Angels throw their food at them. They start squirming in pain! Holy sh*t! How bad was it! Kei takes Reamonn to run but realizes to late when he becomes Hulk and smashes! I don’t know how during all that attack, Kei is thrown off the cliff but barely hanging. Giloss takes Reamonn hostage as Miralda braves all the attack to go rescue him. Reamonn pushes Giloss down the cliff and he would have followed him too had not for Miralda catch him by his hand. Hey, no allergy. Then they hug. This part feels unbelievable because Reamonn is explaining how he realized what love is and that cured his allergy. WTF?! Though, this is only for Miralda because he still sneezes when Lovely Angels are close by. Because he is going to devote his new love to her, he cancels the mission to find the killers. That’s good, right? Reamonn and Miralda are about to kiss but Lovely Angels play a prank to make him sneeze. Yeah, the maid is always the superior woman, yeah!

Episode 20
Blues the assassin went missing but 3WA has new information on him and thus Lovely Angels are sent to bring him in. On this lawless planet, as usual local gangs want to hit on them but the ladies aren’t interested. Even at the bar while drinking, they come to disturb them again so when Kei throws her drink, it becomes a big bar brawl. Hmm… I thought the ‘synchronized’ fighting, everyone is dancing! Anyway a guy helps them escape when he realizes reinforcements are called. But after he destroys a helicopter with his hidden gun, Kei handcuffs him. He is Blues. They want him to return to 3WA HQ with them but he wants to do his final assassin job. His target is Melpot (Colonel Sanders?), the organizer of a current beauty contest, Creamy Gal. Blues wants to kill him by throwing him into the lava because that was how he killed his mother 30 years ago! Melpot is going to shoot a commercial on a monorail through the volcanoes so this is their perfect chance. Yuri infiltrates as a waitress on the monorail to hear Melpot and the local gang leader talk about how passing a certain point will activate some bomb that will erupt a volcano and destroy a hotel. Something about some rival insurance going bust after the payout and their stocks will rise. Whatever. It is bad enough for Lovely Angels to side Blues in his quest. Blues and Kei begin their ambush as they ride up on the monorail. Blues could have gotten Melpot had not Yuri screwed up and been taken hostage. Although she breaks free, Melpot detaches the coach and presses forward. The reason why Blues never broke free from his handcuff was because there is a bomb that will explode a minute after it is cut. So now he shoots it off, runs to his pod and rides into the front monorail to explode and take Melpot with him. But what about the other coaches? It’s not stopping in time. Lovely Angels pull the back breaks in time. Phew. And when it’s all done, they start thinking Blues wasn’t such a bad dude after all. Yeah well, a good assassin is a dead assassin, right?

Episode 21
After a plane docks, all 463 passengers and crew are missing! Therefore Lovely Angels are once more forced to skip their vacation to solve this. They will be working with Eddie Ross, an accident investigator. At first they thought he is a kid but it turns out to be his son, Arthur who is worried about his sister, Melody. Checks indicate nothing was wrong with the plane and it seems something wrong happened in a time frame before it was due to land. Yuri thought all the passengers cancelled their flight but it’s not possible because the only thing left behind was a doll belonging to Melody, Eddie’s daughter. Well, he seems pretty calm since his daughter is missing. Lovely Angels talk to Arthur on why Melody is onboard the plane alone. Seems their parents lived separately and Melody lived with their mother. They secretly arranged to meet up as she wanted to see his planet. Yuri feels he is hiding something else although he dismisses it. More investigations yield nothing. Eddie thinks they’ve been kidnapped but why no ransom note? Speak of the devil. Suddenly a ransom note pops in demanding the release of all passengers. Thinking that money isn’t their only goal and perhaps a particular passenger is in target, they search who might be the probable target but as usual nothing. Kei goes down to the pilots bar to learn more about the missing pilots but the bartender thought it was funny since a woman recently asked about them. That woman tails and ambushes Kei but she turns out to be Shannon Ross, Eddie’s wife. She is also an investigator but because husband and wife are at odds, they’ll do things their own way to find Melody. Poor kid. I guess that is why Lovely Angels go to see him. Maybe because Yuri has a hunch Arthur can do something like a magician to vanish 463 people at the same time. So when they go talk to him, some car tries to ram them over but of course failed miserably and destroyed somebody else’s lawn. Lovely Angels try to coax Arthur into revealing more but he remains silent. Suddenly another ransom note. Looks like the ransom has increased 10 times the original amount. Arthur becomes worked up not to believe this lie.

Episode 22
Further to the ransom, File E is demanded. Arthur finally caves in to pressure and reveals he is the culprit behind this. Because he heard his parents are getting a divorced, he is sad Melody won’t become is sister anymore. So with his computing skills and great memory of all the passwords (how did they allow a kid to wander around in such important places?!), he hacked the system and switched the flight passengers list with another flight. That means, the disappeared passengers are actually on another route path. Arthur also controlled the plane to auto take off and land, etc. It was an empty plane to begin with. Wow. A kid did all this? Because he was close to the pilot captain, Clocker, he also played along with it. But now that actual plane did not arrive at its destination. Eddie is forced to reveal File E as proof of some smuggling group. He never said it because some of his team members were connected. It didn’t take too long that Clocker was the one behind this and used Arthur by taking advantage of the situation. So while Eddie believes in preparing the money and handing over File E, Arthur is trying to figure out the password for the flight’s location. Good luck and be patient in trying all the hundreds of combination. I’m sure it’ll be faster with Nanmo’s help. Eddie receives another threat from Clocker so he goes himself to meet him. Arthur has broken the code and the missing passengers are being kept in some junkyard warehouse, the very same place where Eddie is going. Like the naïve good guy he is, he gives Clocker the file and money but like the typical baddie he is, he reneges on his promise and shoots at him. Although it is just a flesh wound. Shannon comes flying in like a reckless pilot (otherwise Eddie would have died). But they are forced to give up since Clocker threatens to blow up the passengers. This is unbelievable because Kei says she wants to powder up herself beautifully before she dies and Clocker agrees! Actually Kei is relaying info to Yuri and enough time to diffuse the bomb. So once that is over, they attack and bring in Clocker (who did a silly move by getting himself trapped in the dump). So with the family united, Eddie and Shannon are worried about Arthur because computer crimes are grave even if he is a minor. But they can heave a sigh of relief when Lovely Angels pass them a report to be sent on behalf to3WA (because they’re busy going on a much needed vacation). They claim that Clocker is the only one behind this and no other accomplice. Good news they can be a happy family together again.

Episode 23
Lovely Angels are in a drug busting operation but it goes awry as Yuri gets injured from the counter attack. A handsome guy saves her but he kisses her to hide her from bad guys looking for her. Yuri wakes up in his mansion and learns he is the famous con artist, Daniel Sezar who is also targeting this drug operation. He saved her because he wants to work with her. She’s not convinced. Yuri latter calls Kei that she has teamed up with Daniel to cheat some priest, Mahogany and make him buy the worst planet in the Milky Way. The team uses their disguise to lead Mahogany (in pretence of mistaking him to be another rich guy) to a hidden posh place to make him feel good and then take him to planet Heldora. There is even a fake report that Yuri is a rich princess of this planet. They even put up fake heaps of gold to make it look like she is rich and come up with a story Yuri never revealed it because she didn’t want to pay taxes. Mahogany needs time to think about the risks involved but when he hears Yuri in a transmission with the guy they’re supposed to sell the planet (Kei in disguise), Mahogany panics and ups his offering prize to 30 million before Yuri accepts. With the deal done, the trio celebrates but Yuri wants to know Daniel’s true motive. He tells her she works too hard. Can it just be because he loves her? She doesn’t believe such words especially from a conman. Next day when both sides meet for the exchange, suddenly Mahogany’s men tell him about this rip-off and those are Dirty Pair in disguise. Daniel instantly takes the money and run but Lovely Angels already foresee this. They knew Daniel will rat them out to Mahogany and leaves him hanging above the incinerator. You got to admire Mahogany’s love for money as he crawls his way up just to get it back. Yuri snipes the suitcase open to scatter the money into the flames. Priest dude devastated, conman just smoking his cool cigar and our ladies driving away as the real winners.

Episode 24
Paying homage to murder mysteries? Anyway lots of beautiful women living in apartments have been murdered by a serial killer masquerading as a salesman. The only clue is that he left an alphabet carved on their foreheads. And so Lovely Angels are tasked to stay cooped up in an apartment till that killer shows up. Well, I’m sure if he does it could only mean they’re beautiful, right? Then a laser knife salesman shows up. He jokes around by cutting his artificial finger. Scary? Next is a bra salesman and I suppose he is quite handsome so they let him in. But he sells not just ordinary bras. They’re equipped with self defence mechanism that zaps perverts who try to touch them. When he excuses himself to the bathroom, he starts rummaging through their room. Kei catches him in the act. He tries to attack but she just shows her bra to zap him! It worked against him. They try to make him confess as the serial killer but he is adamant he isn’t. Yuri feels strange because why would the killer carve alphabets just to shut them up? Next is a kid selling acupuncture needles and he hates women because it reminds him of his mom. And the next one isn’t a salesman but a police officer. I guess with so many salesmen in town, every one of them is a suspect, eh? As they’re thinking for clues, they see a news report of the murders. Then it hit Yuri. She realizes all the murders take place in apartments with similar structures. Structures that have 8×8. Don’t they resemble a chess board? The alphabets correspond to the chess pieces and the murders take place on where that piece moves. But wouldn’t this mean there are 2 killers? Yes. So as they play the game using the moves, they realize the next move is checkmate. This means the final move is in this very apartment they are right now! So is the killer among them? After Yuri accidentally pours sugar on the policeman’s head, she has Kei unleash the bird they’ve been keeping. Seems this bird was the pet of one of the previous murder victims and should recognize the killer. It tries to peck the policeman. With his identity blown, he pulls out his Freddy Krueger claws to slash them but Lovely Angels got the better of him. The case is solved when the murderer’s twin brother is captured. Yuri reveals she just created a story using the bird. She realizes with news reports going around, it will be hard for the killer to play the salesman and continue his killings without a break. So the best disguise was in the form of an officer doing his investigation. She poured sugar on his head because she knew the bird had a sweet tooth.

Episode 25
Kei is furious that she is stuck at home while Yuri is out on a date with a guy! However that guy seems to be more interested in reading his book than her. Ignored? It’s no surprise Yuri drives like Initial D on the way home. Can’t read his book in peace now, can’t he? Gooley calls Kei to resume her mission on Jobs Garun in some money counterfeit case since he has got new info. But can Kei do it alone? Don’t worry, he’ll send a handsome guy to assist. I guess all is not lost for Kei. But soon it will be that when she discovers her assist is Gooley’s assistant, Carico. Regret? As they approach Garun’s house, Garun sends robots to scare them away since he was once a mechanical engineer. But it is going to take a lot more than that to scare them. I suppose Carico equipped himself to the brim with all his arsenal. But does he know how to use it? More of a nuisance than anything. But they got tranquillized shortly. When Yuri reaches home, she learns from Gooley about the mission. There is more info now. Garun had a son, Mack who committed suicide 6 years ago. Because the bank he worked in got caught in a scandal, Mack was made the scapegoat. Therefore, Garun must be making counterfeit money as revenge. Yeah, it’s causing an economic crisis in some city! Kei and Carico are tied up in Garun’s underground lab. He admits he made the counterfeit money for revenge but planned to stop and live the quiet life shortly till they turned up. Yuri sneaks in and because she freaked out seeing the robot version of Mack (so life-like?), she starts shooting at him. I guess that’s where she made the mistake because Mack goes berserk and starts throwing and smashing things. He even turns against his own ‘parents’. I don’t know how Carico screwed up but he activated the laser that is inching closer to Kei’s crotch! But thank goodness Yuri made it in time to save her (she shot Mack and lets him burn in the fire place). Had Kei been a guy, she’d be a goner ;). But now Mack comes back as Terminator! OMG! What the heck is that T-800 model doing here?! He is strangling Garun! How do you fix a bad machine? Well, Lovely Angels hit it with their tools. Yeah, that’s it. A simple solution to a complex problem. Garun is arrested and Carico is willing to testify to reduce charges. Lovely Angels plead for him to be released and left alone here and threaten to report to Gooley about Carico’s screw ups. I guess he’s got no choice…

Episode 26
When Gooley enters 3WA’s research lab, Marcus and his men from the defence department take him hostage. Lovely Angels are rushed to HQ to learn of this. Marcus has demand a ransom in exchange for Gooley’s life or he will blow up the city with this super godly cannon. Don’t think he won’t use it. Because he tests fire and it destroys an island! But 3WA has made its decision. They will not yield to Marcus’ demands. Because the lab is on a dormant volcano, some self destruction device has been set to make it erupt and destroy it in 12 hours. Yup, no rescue plans for Gooley. Of course our ladies won’t allow it (who are they going to ‘negotiate’ for bonuses and holidays?) so they sneak out in the dead of the night over there. But via air balloon? No wonder they get shot down. But they fight their way through the guards. As they ride up the rail, Marcus knows they are coming and derails them off the cliff. Gooley knows they’re too tough to be defeated that way and true enough, the duo come raiding the lab and take care of those goons (getting flirty with them was all it took to get their guard down?). They scan the area to see where Gooley is held. Although both use the air vent to infiltrate, Yuri goes to the cannon while Kei faces off with Marcus. His whip wraps around her neck so she can’t do much. As he brings up his cannon, Yuri is waiting inside and takes him by surprise shooting him. After freeing Gooley, I can’t believe all the other men just came in just to be shot by Lovely Angels. Marcus won’t let them leave and will have them die with him as he seals all the doors. Lovely Angels are going to use a strong capsule that contains all the important research data to eject out. Screw those data if they can’t make it out alive. However it seems the capsule cannot contain all their weight so Lovely Angels step out only to let Gooley live. In the dying minutes before the eruption, Kei gets the idea to use the cannon to fire to escape. It is risky since there is a chance they will be blown away at the close range. Might as well take the risk since they’re going to be blown up if they don’t try. After the volcano erupts, Kei seems to be the only one landing safely in the forest. She’s sad and confessing all her bad deeds she did to Yuri. Promises this, promises that. Will it bring Yuri back? Well, if she only realize she was on top of her! So I guess the legend of Dirty Pair carries on…

Dirty Pair Flash

A decade after the original Dirty Pair series aired and countless OVAs released after that, a new OVA spinoff, Dirty Pair Flash was created as an alternate retelling of the duo. Initially as I found out, it was supposed to be the sequel of the original but one of the seiyuus of the duo has long retired and move to America while the other half refused to work with anyone else except her partner. True loyalty? Therefore the result of this remake instead of what many thought to be the younger versions of Lovely Angels. But they’re still technically the same. Reckless 3WA agents causing collateral damage in every job they do, everywhere they go. The legend lives on…

Episode 1
Right from the start, section chief Garner is dreading reading the misconducts, poor records and misdemeanours of the Dirty Pair. They’re on the road to be delinquents and how far 3WA has fallen to even hire such people with poor records just to keep up with the quota. Even worse, the computer logarithm somehow paired Kei and Yuri together. They’re going to really soil the name of Lovely Angels. You better pray very hard… Kei and Yuri aren’t getting along well either. When Yuri is about to go on her date, an injured man passes her a card to be handed to 3WA before he dies. The baddies want her to hand over it but Yuri throws the card to Kei and they both make a run while arguing and blaming each other. The police think they are the ones who killed that man and start going after them. So it begins a high speed high powered chase throughout the city leaving trails of massive pileups and destructions. Heck, they even sent a helicopter with missiles to gun down Dirty Pair but lady luck is on their side. The card continues to change hands many times as all sides get determined to possess it. When Dirty Pair end up in an alley filled with local gangsters who want to take them out. Because the Chinese boss will pay them money. Ah, those magic words. Dirty Pair transform into their kickass outfits to slice all their armour (leaving them only in their underwear) and blast through everything just to reach 3WA. When Garner sees them coming, he orders his men to back them up. Dirty Pair reaches HQ in time while the baddies are rounded up. Garner laments that all that destruction just for a crummy card. Yeah, the city is utterly destroyed. Well, Kei and Yuri still hate each other…

Episode 2
Waldess, the head of GCN Corporation is proposing to old geezers about how is corporation will pump in capital for the Siren Project reconstruction to revitalize the galaxy’s economy that was halted by the Gamorian Riots many years ago. They are not convinced since they know he has many enemies trying to target and sabotage him but he is adamant since his plans has already entered phase 3. Kei is supposed to guard a couple of guys but they’re shot dead by the revolutionaries! So Lovely Angels go all out to chase the assassins. But they can’t best this one-arm assassin chick. Heck, she doesn’t kill them and runs away. Insult? When they continue to chase, they see her being arrested by the military police. Yuri reports back to Garner that Kei is bent on getting her revenge on that chick (since she is cooked up doing research and training) although Garner’s report says the assassin has been shot dead. Kei believes she isn’t that dumb to be captured. Yuri requests to change partners but Garner tells her she can’t do that easily like she changes her boyfriends! Seems that assassin was being invited as a technical advisor to the Barrage cannons whom the military feel will end the civil war. Although she is not affiliated with GCN and was just invited here by their executives, some know her true identity, Lady Flair who is the universe’s best sniper. Yuri tries to convince Kei to give up and that it is not their job but her pride won’t allow her. They argue so loudly that it’s just embarrassing. Heck, they didn’t even know Flair was there eavesdropping and just shaking her head. Yuri talks to the mechanic and currently they remind him of the previous Lovely Angels, Iris and Molly. They were the best until Molly died in an accident during the Gamorian Riots. Iris realized how precious her partner was, blamed herself and disappeared. Since Molly was Iris’ other self, he wonders if Yuri can be Kei’s Molly. Kei is going to face off with Flair as Yuri once more tries to dissuade her. Not listening. They barge through the enemy lines and even board the plane. They cut a hole in the ceiling to suck everything out. So as everybody abandons the crashing plane, Kei and Flair have their face off. Flair feels disappointed they are the Lovely Angels. But the Barrage cannons start shooting at them. Flair escapes while Lovely Angels have no choice but to do what they do best: Go out on a rampage! Destroy everything! Garner sees the news that the civil war ended thanks to an unknown third party intervention. But he chokes on his coffee upon seeing the familiar destruction and that familiar pair of faces. Satisfied now that you’ve taken out everything?

Episode 3
Kei forces her way in to demand Waldess about Flair as she believes she works for him. But all the guards take her out. Kei gets a polite lecture from Garner that was unauthorized to dig up info on Waldess. It is not Lovely Angels’ jurisdiction to investigate on GCN but Unit 9. They are assigned to protect Professor Kupps who is deciphering that card. Only Yuri is guarding him now. Kiss that date goodbye. Waldess’ assistant talks to him about the card. Seems there is some programme in it that will reveal Project Siren. Kupps seems to be blackmailing them but Waldess is not cowed. Flair infiltrates Kupps’ lab to kill him and escapes before Kei could fight her. Kupps’ body is a dummy. The real guy fled. Yuri must be cursing Kei as she recuperates in hospital because her boyfriend dumped her… She is surprised to learn Kei has quit 3WA but it seems if she can’t go after Waldess under 3WA, is she going after him as a civilian? At least she is not bounded by rules. Yuri has an idea what she is planning and goes after her. Kei barges in on Waldess’ luxury liner to face off with Flair. And lost. Waldess wants to interrogate her and injects a truth telling serum. However she doesn’t know a damn thing about what 3WA has dug up on him. They don’t believe her she quit 3WA and that she might be putting up a good fight. Yuri sneaks in but starts destroying everything just to take care of the robots. How can she say it’s not her fault? Thanks to that, the controls are berserk and the ship is heading for a whirlpool. Yuri rescues Kei but her true intention is to arrest her. The ship is done for and Kei still has time to tell Flair for a match? Kei has a hidden gun in her back but Flair has a hidden knife. As both girls fight, Kei latches the handcuff onto Flair to the pole. Flair remembers about that accident between Molly and Iris. Iris lost an arm. Waldess ejects to safety. In the aftermath, Kei and Yuri are stranded on a rock. Kei believes Flair is dead. But she would be to since Yuri is still serious in arresting her. Hmm… Maybe Flair isn’t dead yet. Because we see her mechanical arm only being latched to the pole.

Episode 4
Kei is released from prison and as Garner explains, that was necessary to smooth things over. As Kupps has been found, Yuri is on his way to retrieve him. However he seems to have locked himself in a virtual reality game that he has been addicted to. It was a reason why he tried to blackmail GCN to feed this habit of his. Yuri will be diving into his mind to bring him back and wants Kei to guard her since she’ll be vulnerable when that happens. However Kei won’t listen since she quitted and storms off. However Kei sees those baddies from the first episode and tries to get ahead of them by making her way to Kupps’ place (they’re trying to infiltrate that place). Yuri is in Kupps’ mind as she becomes an adventurer saving the villagers (all looking like Kupps!) from monsters. Although they tell of a terrifying Demon Lord reigning over them, they seem to not want her to get near a tower that is believed to hold something that the Demon Lord fears. Yuri heads over to fight more monsters and opens a treasure chest containing a young boy. Kupps of course. This is the key to defeat the Demon Lord? Well, Yuri is okay with him but he is reluctant. They are attacked by monsters but I don’t understand how this teleports them to the Demon Lord’s castle. Meanwhile Kei causes havoc in the place as those baddies try to penetrate but met with resistance. Yuri attacks the Demon Lord (Kupps himself, who else?) but is defeated. Kupps Jr is scared but after seeing Yuri in pain, he sums his courage to tell the big bad boss to stop. The Demon Lord cowers in fear and when Kupps Jr tells him that he is him, they merge and Kupps returns to normal. Yuri wakes up with Kupps who is now all reformed. Yuri is glad she did this all by herself but cannot believe the damage she sees around. You know who. The baddies are rounded up while Kei escapes into the shadows and calls it even. Waldess receives report of his henchmen’s failure but vows not to give up in securing Siren yet.

Episode 5
After Kupps testifies, 3WA moves into confiscate everything from GCN. Those old geezers plan to eliminate Waldess before anything happens and they have the right chick for the job. Oh, look who is back? Flair! Kei seems to be the bodyguard of some gang in the slums. But when the Chinese boss got interrogated by 3WA, Garner recognizes Kei’s gun with him (she left it with him to get it fixed). However Yuri isn’t concerned about Kei leaving 3WA although Garner did mention he received her resignation notice but never accepted it. When Unit 9 receives word of Waldess’ whereabouts, they request support. Garner orders Yuri to join this mission. Hey, she has a new partner, Lily. Heck, she looks familiar. She’s more concerned about leaving early for her date! Yuri tells her off they are here to work! LOOK WHO IS TALKING!!! Everyone is at their station at the airport. Waldess is spotted coming in but he had to sit next to Lily. As 3WA slowly surround and getting ready to apprehend him, suddenly an assassin is spotted approaching him. Lily panics and calls out to Yuri. Then all hell breaks loose because everybody starts shooting everybody. Heck, I don’t know who is who. Everyone in public must be 3WA agents or assassins in disguise. Holy sh*t! They’re just firing everywhere destroying the entire airport! And I thought only Dirty Pair could do this! In the end, Waldess got away, the mission is a failure and they blame Yuri who blames Lily. Where the heck is she anyway? She was standing frozen stiff during the mayhem but now she’s missing. Yuri is imitating Lily in the shower and is adamant that she is not her?! Garner goes to see Kei to convince her to come back. What will change her mind? He says Flair is still alive but take note her gun is not to shoot her. So Kei ponders what will be of her once she kills Flair. Chinese boss has the cheek to say she’ll be the next Flair. And because of that Kei has nightmares transforming into Flair. But I guess she has not the luxury of time so she leaves the slums to return to 3WA. Meanwhile the space chase for Waldess continues. His loyal assistant would gladly become bait and die for him just to let him escape.

Episode 6
Lily is plucking flower petals to decide to quit or stay. Does it really matter? And she submits Garner her resignation notice right when 3WA is scrambling for an important mission. Good riddance. Since Waldess has taken over Siren, 3WA are in a rush to apprehend him. Waldess takes over all the broadcast to rant about corruption, geniuses and history of mankind. Like everybody cares. Teams from 3WA try to take out Siren but Waldess keeps them busy with his defence system. Yuri does what she does best by doing reckless damage. Kei and Garner join her before they crash into Siren. Seems Flair has also done the same. The duo run about trying destroy the place (that’s what they do best, right?) while Garner gets shot in the leg and shoulder. He is face to face with Flair whom he recognizes as Iris. But she refutes him that Iris died along with Molly. She remembers she called for backup but 3WA refused her since they are short of manpower!!! This led to Molly’s death. It is no wonder that Flair is still bitter about the whole incident. However Garner says he was rushing to save her but all communications with her was cut. Wait. Now she has a change of heart? When Lovely Angels come to apprehend Waldess, he won’t give in but changes his mind when he sees Flair. Yeah, he tells Lovely Angels to protect him if they want him arrested. Garner tells her not to kill him. Since Flair is more worried in tending to him, sneaky Waldess activates some beams to destroy the entire place! Then with Siren missiles being activated, Waldess becomes a madman playing God and proclaiming about the new humanity he will create. Then he gets all scared again when he sees Flair standing up. He is trying to tempt her to join him but she only says he is under arrest. But as she goes to deactivate the countdown, Waldess shoots her. I guess she lost her edge as an assassin. Yuri throws Kei her gun to shoot Waldess. Flair manages to stop the countdown in time. Yeah, like 0.003 seconds left!!! Too bad they can’t be sentimental for long as the place is collapsing. In the aftermath, Iris was temporarily reinstated back as Lovely Angel and given a posthumous award after dying in the line of duty. Records might still say the previous Lovely Angel is better but Garner thinks the current ones aren’t too bad either.

Episode 7
Have Lovely Angels gone back to the past? Because they’re in current day Japan right now. Actually they are on a mission to be the bodyguard of Touma. Thanks to Yuri crashing her ship at the airport, I guess those relying on airplanes will now have ‘extended vacation’. Actually they are here to find the HQ for World’s World. You see, this Japan you see is actually a huge amusement park and this company remakes cities of the past so customers can relive in them. Currently it is infected with an unknown virus and Touma who is skilled in computing is to fix it. They almost got killed when a taxi they ride had a bomb planted. Had not Touma stepped out to get cigarettes, they could have been blown away. World’s World is hidden as a snacks bar and they have a tough time finding it. And when they’ve done so and being informed of everything, Touma gets right down to work. So boring for our Lovely Angels that we see a flashback how they were called in by chief Poporo (replacing Garner who has retired) for this bodyguard mission. He might be tough talking with them but on the phone with his wife, he’s like queen controlled. Kei learns that a rival company, Cosmo Planet is also running a similar theme park. It is deduced that with the virus planted and their systems crashing, guess where will the customers go for similar experiences? As they take a lunch break, Lovely Angels sense something amiss. There is a bomb planted underneath their bowls! Better have an empty stomach than an empty (blown away) head. This is the last straw as Lovely Angels has Touma walk around as bait to see who is after him. Suddenly a woman pulls him into an alley. Lovely Angels beat her up and it turns out to be a cross-dresser wanting to hit on him. And he thought Kei was a fellow cross-dresser too… When Touma retires to his room, a room service did not order comes in. Turns out to be an assassin who wants to kill him. So he is the one planting the bombs but has no idea about the virus. Lovely Angels intercept him but he is dropping bombs everywhere. Then he screws up and blows himself up in the elevator. Man, half the building is ripped apart. In the aftermath, they discover a room where he is working from. Lovely Angels thought the case is close since a virus vaccine has been found and the assassin is dead. But Touma says there still needs to be thorough tests before the system can go back running as there may be a hidden transforming virus. It will take at least 2 weeks. Lovely Angels sees this in a positive light. I mean, they can have vacation for 2 weeks, right? All they need to do is keep it from Poporo.

Episode 8
Due to the havoc in the system, blah, blah, blah, there is not enough room for accommodation for our protagonists. But when there is, management has them temporarily stay at an elite all-girls’ high school dorm. Don’t worry, Touma will be staying at the all-boys’ dorm. Since they are temporarily enrolled as exchange students (that is why they can stay), Kei is not happy becoming a student while Yuri can’t wait to relive her teenage years. Of course they hear this school is haunted and the girls want Lovely Angels whom they look up to, to solve this. This includes one of the haunting legends that every day at the exact same time, a scream can be heard while playing the piano. So don’t play the piano, says Kei. Of course it really comes true when they test it out. Kei is so freaked out that her instinct has her whip out her gun but short of firing. Upon seeing this, Yuri has that devilish grin… A junior calls Kei at night and only wants her to help out. Legend has it that a ghost sits alone in the dark in a classroom. Reluctantly, Kei goes do the job. See somebody sitting there? Holy sh*t!!! The ghost gets up and starts walking towards her! HOLY SH*T!!! Kei whips out her gun but when she fires, it is blank. The ghost turns out to be Yuri and everybody was in cohorts to play this prank on her. Of course Kei is sore and she had to listen to yet another ghost legend about some illicit relationship of a teacher and a student and thus an aborted child that she is unwilling to abandon. That is why there is a sealed off stall in the toilet. When Kei drank too much beer, she goes to relief herself but after that finds the cubicle door locked. Thinking this is Yuri’s doing, she breaks it down but she is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly a ghost girl carrying her child walks out from the sealed stall! If that is not Yuri, that could only mean… HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!!! Kei is so scared that she whipped out her gun and started shooting. Well, ghosts don’t get hit, right? Yeah, the entire toilet is destroyed. Thanks to that, they got expelled. Must be a record since they have only been there for 3 days. Meeting up with Touma, they learn the boys also told him similar experiences. But Touma explains the ghosts are made of hologram and were not told to teachers and students to keep the experience authentic. Oh dear… Touma remembered he told Yuri but forgot to tell Kei… Oh sh*t… Kei… Super mad… Somebody is going to die and become a ghost right now… Meanwhile ghost girl in the toilet continues to stand there because I guess the hologram mechanic is broken. Well, at least the toilet is too destroyed for them to use it anyway.

Episode 9
While eating lunch, Lovely Angels overheard somebody boasting to be from 3WA. They check his ID and it is definitely fake. Once Calbee learns about this Dirty Pair, he immediately runs and the duo instantly give chase. He hijacks a helicopter but Lovely Angels cling on to it. This incredulous helicopter scene… So dangerous yet so unbelievable. And when they crash, they got out without taking any scratch. Anyway Kei is very furious with Calbee because she was swindled by this conman once. She is determined to bring him in because there is a rule in 3WA that even if they’re not on the job but bring in a wanted person, they’ll be greatly rewarded. Looks like they can have a treat at that expensive restaurant they’ve always wanted. But of course it won’t be easy to bring him in as they are lost in the forest and with his smooth talking ways, Yuri seems to enjoy it but Kei won’t be falling for it. Heck, do they think that tying up his hands with panty stockings is going to be the end of it? I think anybody can easily become free of it and he did while they’re sleeping. Fortunately they catch up with him although he was smooth in giving excuses like trying to make breakfast for them. With such raw jungle fruits? Calbee tries to make daring escapes like stirring a bee’s nest but ends up running away from it and falling into a bush of scorpions. Why doesn’t he get stung? As night falls, they stumble upon a hotspring so they tie and blindfold him. I don’t know if Lovely Angels know how to tie because he broke free and escaped. He even got the time to entangle their clothes so they’re running through the jungle in their undies. When they give up and return, they see him soaking in the hotspring. Given the run-around, eh? Calbee screws with them but is ‘useful’ too since he has a lighter to light fire and got creepy critters for dinner. Calbee then says he was supposed to be the management owner of the New York section due to complete next year but ended up losing all the money. With his dreams ended, he believes Yuri can be the president in his place with Kei as her vice. The duo can’t help daydreaming and fantasize this great possibility. So nice… But Yuri knows this is just a dream and has her feet firmly planted on the ground. It was nice while it lasted. Too bad Calbee. You can’t con her too. When they reach a construction site, as Lovely Angels revel in finally getting some water, Calbee hijacks a truck and escapes. A short chase ensues before he is captured and apprehended. They return to Touma who wasn’t the least bit worried about them since he thought they went somewhere. They gave him that raw jungle fruit as ‘present’. Next day when Lovely Angels are about to leave for their reservation, they hear a familiar suave voice in the next table. Isn’t that Calbee trying to hit on another woman? The duo feign ignorance and quickly leave. Don’t want to get into all that trouble again, huh? Not when their expensive dinner is so close…

Episode 10
Thanks to the cram space, Touma has to sleep in the corridor. Well, you don’t expect him to be sleeping with the girls, right? On a rainy day, Touma and Yuri take shelter at a flower shop. It was love at first sight for Touma and the florist, Leena. She was kind enough to lend them her umbrellas. Because Kei spotted Touma making weird poetic diary entries, Yuri could grasp what is happening. That cheeky grin… Touma becomes chirpy returning the umbrellas although the ladies are quite annoyed at this. Yeah, even bringing back flowers for them? Next day on the streets, Touma gets lucky as she asks him out for tea. He is boring her with his programming stories and lame jokes?! But that concerned look on her face. She asks… Who is Yuri to him? Oh… The other woman question, I see… He vehemently denies he has any special feelings for her and this makes Leena happy as she reveals the reason she gave them an umbrella each was because if it was only one, they would be too close together. Oh… Get the hint?! Of course Yuri is not happy about this so she tries to hint to Touma that she is the more attractive one. Dumb Touma think she is the one in love! Thanks to that weird dream about Leena ‘complaining’ their relationship isn’t going anywhere, Touma talks to Kei for advice. Why not go to Yuri? For some reason she is mad at him. Kei suggests giving flowers. To a florist? As the girls are suspicious of Leena that she might have an ulterior motive, Touma proudly shows his research on her background! He can write a novel this thick! Not only that. He followed her to her home secretly and hijacked the satellite to take pictures of her! ISN’T THIS BEING LIKE A STALKER?! Of course the fear that their relationship may not be heading anywhere bugs Touma as he wants more advice from the ladies. Think for yourself. Hmm… How about bringing her to the electronics street?! You dumb ass! Yuri and Kei then start trying to outdo each other in suggesting what to do. Reverse psychology? Since he is still worried he might be rejected, Yuri forces him to call Leena and meet. Just get it over with! Panicky Touma even told Leena that Yuri made him call her! WTF?! So annoying that Yuri hijacks the phone to speak to her to meet up. WTF?! Surprisingly Leena agrees to meet. Touma goes into full mode planning his perfect date and the duo somehow become his lackeys for the date preparation. Touma is a gentleman come that day and he rushes happily to Leena when she is in sight. However… Something feels wrong… She misses him and heads for Yuri! She reveals she has fallen in love with her since they first time they’ve met and heard a lot about her from Touma! OH SH*T! LESBIAN GIRL!!! Leena wants to call Yuri her big sister!!! Yuri freaking out. Touma frozen and heartbroken. And the one having the last laugh and laughing best is Kei. Laughing her ass off nonstop…

Episode 11
A cargo plane, Star Horse 60 is carrying a very dangerous explosives is threatening to crash into the city so those guys are forced to delay the opening of the airport to make it safely land there. Touma didn’t order any pizza. Well, he really didn’t because there’s a bomb in it! The ladies return from their morning bath and are shocked to see the devastation of the apartment. They cry over Touma’s body but something feels amiss. Is Touma an android?! Till the real one pops up and they punch him for making them worry. Touma explains that he is being targeted. Remember the culprit who implanted the virus in World’s World? He is still at large. As Touma continued his investigations secretly, he has discovered the perpetrator so he ordered an android as precaution. True enough, he is being a target for assassination. The culprit is JAIC (Jointed Artificial Intelligence Criminal). It is a type of artificial intelligence comparable with humans. Thus it has no physical body and exists only in the virtual and circuitry world. Thanks to their efficient quarantine, it didn’t escape World’s World. Touma has been sealing off sectors during his investigations to narrow down where JAIC would be. Better hurry because android bombs come in the form of cats, secretaries and high speed car chases. When Touma finally locates JAIC hidden in an android making lab, JAIC is nowhere to be found. He finds a manual to make androids and deduces JAIC may have escaped in an android body. This means he has escaped via assimilating in the crowd but because JAIC has to carry around lots of memory, his body has to be bulky. They think JAIC is heading for the airport because it is the only means of escaping this world. The trio make their way there and relay what is going on to the air traffic controller guys. As ordinary humans have completely evacuated the place, Touma puts all the android guards to sleep. Then they see JAIC. Man, he stands out like a sore thumb disguising himself as a sumo wrestler. So the big chase is on to stop JAIC from escaping but JAIC boards Lovely Angel’s ship. To prevent him from escaping, Yuri sees Star Horse 60 approaching its landing. She has Touma take control to steer and ram into their ship. I guess it is too late to tell them it contains those explosives, huh? EVERYBODY EVACUATE THE AREA!!! BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! Well, at least the airport is only destroyed. So is JAIC. Thanks to this, everybody will have an extended stay on World’s World but good news: Their stay and absence from work will be fully compensated! I want to go on this vacation!

Episode 12
Kei is travelling on a passenger plane when a jet fighter pulls up and fires into it! It is amazing that with all that turbulence, Kei’s gun can shoot and destroy the jet! If that is not enough, a dying mother entrusts her with her baby. Then she jumps off before the plane crashes into the snowy mountains. Yuri is furious that Kei hasn’t come back yet. Because the more she waits, she’ll be late for her date! Count it as you’ve lost that boyfriend. Then on the news it is reported some senator got killed by his wife for his inheritance. Although she has been arrested it seems the senator had a baby son that he fathered with the maid. Say, doesn’t that baby look familiar? I guess Yuri has already blown her date so might as well do her investigations to go help Kei. Kei should know better than to argue with a baby. Eventually she has to feed him milk and change his diapers. First time, eh? Then bad guys start hunting them down. Even mind boggling that the baddies are appropriately geared whereas Kei is able to keep her distance and not even split her hair while firing back and carrying the baby! She could even feed the baby while running away and do jump further than any skilled Olympic ski jumper! Unbelievable! Uh huh. She can even outsmart a helicopter and take it down with her pea shooter. I wonder how the baby can survive all this trauma. Luckily there is a cabin for them to take refuge. I guess the baby is tired from all the running so he’s sleeping nicely. Of course the baddies found them and fire a missile into it! They search the grounds for the body but Kei is hiding in a secret underground basement. The baby wakes up and is going to cry for milk. Oh dear. Not now. No choice, Kei gives him suck her breast! First tits shown in the entire series! Hey, is Kei lactating? For some odd reason, before the baddies clearly leave the area, Kei surfaces. Out for some fresh air? She takes them all out but how is she going to deal with the helicopter? Don’t worry, it is Yuri’s turn to take it out in her power suit. She updates him about what is going on. Despite the baby has no other family, he is set to inherit his father’s fortune and be a loaded rich kid. Because they don’t know his name, Kei takes the liberty to call him Keitarou. And she happily becomes his godmother. Oh gee, did the bonding with the kid made her love him or the money?

Episode 13
Monica de Noile isn’t your typical 15 year old oujo-sama. She comes from a family of assassins and her family is happy that she will be making her debut by taking up a request to take out Dirty Pair! Meanwhile Poporo is not giving in to Lovely Angels’ vacation request. Till his wife called. Henpecked husband has no choice… Yuri is having the life. A luxurious cruise, a handsome hunk, what more could she ask for? Till mechanized seagulls nearly killed her. Even more insulting was the guy is crying over his papa’s boat instead of being concerned with her. Likewise, Kei almost get killed as she fishes out an octopus which was hidden with a weapon. Kei thinks somebody is trying to kill them but Yuri thinks somebody is just jealous of her beauty. They barely avoided the acid pool at the hotel and cobra attack in their room. So still don’t believe somebody is out to kill you? Unknown to Yuri, she sees Monica feeding seagulls and is interested join her. Monica gives her a hairpin which soon turns into a homing device for those missiles inside the seagulls to target her. Once they realize Monica is the culprit, they go after her. She escapes but leaves them an invitation to her castle. Lovely Angels take up her offer as they face off with Monica and her sneaky traps. Yuri is upset Monica calls her an aunty simply because she is 2 years older than her. Monica then turns into some sort of magical girl and shoots… Exploding bubbles?! The turning point is when they slap Monica and she reverts into a typical little girl. Lovely Angels ‘bully’ her by snatching her teddy bear (it contains all her weapons and traps) and empty it. Monica then rides a giant mecha teddy bear to finish them off but of course Lovely Angels are still the better one. The mecha explodes and destroys the entire castle. Gee, it is amazing they are still alive. And the showdown turns into a childish and girly affair… Slapping… Pulling hair… Screaming… Accusing… Blaming the other… Oh brother… When will they finish this?

Episode 14
Poporo orders Lovely Angels to participate in a beach volleyball tournament. At first they refuse but he explains this is not a game. They are to apprehend the sponsor of this tournament known only as President. 3WA has been targeting his organization who has done some pretty shady stuffs. However as President has made many enemies and the target of assassins, he does not appear in public. Nobody knows his whereabouts. The only time he does so is during the winners’ award presentation albeit he’ll be surrounded by heavy security. This will be their chance to nab him. As they know nothing about the game, Poporo has assigned Gazelle as their special coach. He becomes a demon coach and imposes strict unforgiving training for them. The biggest irony ever. Special agents that undergo dangerous life threatening missions find themselves out of breath in training???!!! WTF???!!! Is this how unfit they are?! To say athletic fitness is much tougher than real life battles?! It becomes tiring for them that they just drop asleep each time they retire to their room. And if they don’t want to wake up early for training? Flood the room! I don’t even know how this is possible. The harsh training continues till Yuri breaks down and starts crying. She can’t take this no more and quits. Good thing Gazelle doesn’t believe her because they were just crocodile tears. Then he reveals that 50 people have been sacrificed to take down President and whatever methods they’ve been doing, none of them worked. This will be 3WA’s final play. The ladies get motivated to continue training without whining. When it’s test time, they manage to return the bomb ball back at Gazelle. This means they are good, right? So good that you don’t even need to see them playing through the tournament as we see them nailing the winning shop and snatching victory from the tournament favourites. As President appears to award their medal, this creepy old guy/chicken/frog can’t keep his eyes of the hot bodies of our ladies. Using this chance, they nab him and instantly the entire 3WA fleet arrives. WTF. What the hell are his bodyguards doing???!!! In the aftermath, Poporo commends them for a job well done. Lovely Angels are sad for those who were sacrificed so Poporo shows them the list of those ‘sacrificed’. Turns out they just had muscle aches and common illness. Lovely Angels are so freaking mad that they head to the hospital to beat the hell out of Gazelle! His scream echoes throughout space… How the f*ck is that even possible?! Note: Most boring episode ever!!!

Episode 15
Kei sees Yuri with a young girly boy. She goes over to tease her but when she slaps her back, her head comes off!!! OMG! Robot Yuri? Kei is soon called in by Poporo who doesn’t look happy with what Kei had done. That boy, Julian is the grandson of Dr Winston. He is a fanatic of Yuri and that life size robot he made it himself. It is very precious to him. This must be a serious case because the council are interrogating Lovely Angels to set this back right. Yuri opposes to be the substitute for 3 days in which Julian needs to repair everything. But when they reveal Dr Winston is the main fund contributor for 3WA, Yuri instantly accepts this mission! It’s all about the money, eh? Can’t pass up this chance to marry the galaxy’s richest family, eh? Arriving at the mansion, Yuri feels creepy to see all the different models of herself. But she is impressed the life size robot is so, erm, life size. So exactly like her. He views Yuri as a pure and innocent angel. Best compliment? As he doesn’t want her to help with the repairs, she is made to stay in this giant doll house. But she’s already bored. She talks to him how she knows so much about her. He once setup different types of cameras around her to gather information. Surprisingly, she didn’t freak out and call him a perverted stalker and instead is impressed that she really likes her. I guess she took it the positive way. Now she feels hungry and wonders about dinner. However… Julian says she doesn’t need to eat because of that angel crap! WTF?! Therefore Kei becomes her secret delivery boy to deliver the food she wants. Oh, there’s no toilet for her too… I wonder how she does her business. On the final day when robot Yuri is finished, real Yuri asks if she stays by his side, he wouldn’t need that robot. He can do whatever he wants with her. However… F*ck that angel crap thing!!! It is understandable Yuri gets upset. The real one is right here before his eyes and he is obsessed with a perfect fake? Julian can tell she is only here because grandpa told her to. You can’t blame Yuri for taking the cutter and cutting the robot’s hair (heck, I thought she was going to tear her apart). Then she lectures him about the possibility of love like she’s a real expert. Wow. He is easily convinced? He wants her to return tomorrow as he wants to show her something. Yuri can’t wait and expects an engagement ring. That’s the thing when you assume big… Because to her utmost shock, he introduces Wendy. Who is she? The girl who has been sending letters of admiration to him. He decided to take up Yuri’s advice and date her. WTF???!!! What happened to his obsession with Yuri???!!! Ah well, how else to take out all the pent up frustrations by blowing up everything on her next mission.

Episode 16
Mad Dog Carmen hijacks and frees a prisoner transport. Seems he wants the skills of Beringer who used to developed weapons for the army. There is a mecha suit that has been abandoned all research because of its demanding requirements (anybody who rides this will die). Carmen is thinking of using this to build an army of his own and he wants Beringer to join and train his new army. He agrees to this but wants to loan it for 100 hours to get revenge on Poporo first. While Lovely Angels are stuck writing apology letters, Poporo’s daughter, Rosa visits daddy. Just then, the alert is sounded as a terrorist attack occurs nearby. Poporo has Rosa scoot home (all by herself?). After 3WA dispatch all available men, it seems this is a decoy because Beringer in the guise of an elevator maintenance staff has placed bombs in the elevators. Time for a blast. Thankfully Rosa was in the toilet instead of taking the elevator home. But now she is trapped on that floor. Beringer makes his move in that mecha suit to pay back Poporo for his humiliation. Of course when Poporo sees the suit, he can tell Beringer is behind it. The one and only crazy guy who can ride thing. Poporo knows Beringer has a deep grudge against him despite Poporo lost an arm in the midst of capturing him. Lovely Angels play ‘dirty’ that they have nothing to do with this. I mean, they’re stuck in writing apology letters, right? And so Poporo waives this punishment and the girls are happy to play bodyguard. But no matter how much missile they pump or even trash another mecha suit at it, Beringer is still tops with all the high technology sensor and whatever sh*t is inside it. Kei comes up with a dangerous idea in using the main power station underground and wants Yuri to stall for time as much as she can.

The fight with Beringer has him crash to where Rosa is. You can’t blame little girl for being so scared and screaming for papa. Aha. Got you by your Achilles Heel. Poporo begs him to release Rosa as she has nothing to do with this. But Beringer won’t let him go so easily. He wants to see him suffer before he kills him. Carmen contacts that time is up and he is here to pick him up. Beringer tells Poporo to settle the score on the rooftop. Poporo is defenceless as Beringer shoots and injures him before his daughter. Yuri tells Kei she cannot activate the beam yet as Rosa is being held hostage. When Beringer releases Rosa, she runs to her daddy but Beringer plans to shoot them both. Luckily Poporo moves so as to become Beringer’s target and save Rosa from harm’s way. Poporo takes in a lot of shots. Rosa is horrified as Yuri takes her away. Then she relays to Kei of Beringer’s position to finally release a powerful beam to fry Beringer once and for all. Because Carmen’s ship is hovering directly above Beringer, they also get fried! Wow! Killing 2 birds with 1 stone! No time for an emotional father-daughter reunion because the ship is going to crash on the building! Not only 3WA headquarters is destroyed but the surrounding area too! In the end, not only Lovely Angels have to write tons of apology letters but Poporo is made to join them too. Don’t the higher ups have anything better to do to utilize manpower in times of devastation? And for goodness sake use a paper weight. See? You let all your hard work fly away and that’s what you get when you write out in the open.

Somebody Needs To Get The Job Done
Well, it was a fun ride while it lasted. Since it is old school, I can’t really complain that much. In fact, the original Dirty Pair series has much more movies and OVAs in addition to the TV series. Good thing or not, I couldn’t find them anywhere on the internet and basically my interest for the series waned after I reached the end. It didn’t really matter if I saw them or not because I knew it was going to be following the same formula. Well, I got bored with that eventually. Besides, I am not sure if this series was famous or not now because I don’t think many younger generations would know about them. Besides, back then we didn’t have a lot of choice in entertainment and the selections were limited. What I am trying to say is that there was even a spin-off of an American version of this series. Maybe it was famous back then but not so now seeing the abundance of shows and series coming out every season and year.

Like many series that follow an episodic nature, Dirty Pair is one that doesn’t and I think it is both good and bad thing. It is good because every episode serves as a standalone and you can watch them in any order you like even without knowing any sort of back story. You do not have to worry if you have missed an episode or two because you can jump in straight in watching the next without having to crack your brains to think what plot and development that you have missed. In a way it gives a fresh and novel feel of what kind of adventure that you would expect the pair to be in instead of following a pre-determined set of storyline (although each episode is predictable the same and follow a certain pattern).

Of course the big down side to having episodes that are non-related is that you do not feel that they are connected to each other. Sometimes it is annoying to find that an episode ends like that without any follow up. Sometimes it ends in a dissatisfying way that makes you question more than it could answer. It makes you wonder what happens to that character because I am very sure for example you might want to know what actually happened to that Kaia pirate guy seeing curiously he and Kei had some sort of past together. But you will never anyway seeing how every character-of-the-episode come and go like as though they’re changing toilet paper.

Each episodes are so disconnected and unrelated that it feels like there was a contest to come up with a short story for the pair and they pick a few to animate. Therefore it lacks the epic feel by having standalone episodes (my similar sentiments when I watched Cowboy Bebop that followed this same format). However when they remade Flash, they changed this formula slightly as they made it episodic. Although certain episodes feel like fillers, they are somewhat connected to each other. As Flash is divided into 3 ‘missions’, the final mission they returned to the original roots by switching it into completely unrelated standalone episodes. It feels really odd then because like that Monica assassin episode, it just freaking ends like that! WTF?! It was interesting that they had a small back story about the original Dirty Pair in Flash for the Waldess’ and even in World’s World arc despite the storyline wasn’t much but all that came crumbling down in the third and final mission when they decided to pull random stories and South Park style ending for each episode.

Therefore sometimes the independent little stories in the original TV series might feel somewhat silly. The plot and how everything is solved in the end sometimes make no sense when you think about it. Even though they are supposed to be simple but it is just plain silly and not feasible in the real world even if with such technology. For example, a mere computer genius kid hijacking a big plane and corporation just to fool his parents. And everybody indeed gets taken for a ride. How could this even happen in the first place you ask. But I guess things back then are like then. If you were to question the logic to everything, you wouldn’t be watching anime in the first place.

Somehow I can’t help feel a little ‘cheated’ because when I read the synopsis, they said something about Dirty Pair wreaking havoc and causing destruction wherever they go to get the mission done. Sure, they do that in most episodes but I don’t hear them go saying “Hey, that’s not our fault!”. In fact, I remember just hearing them say once at the end after it was completely their fault in blowing up the planet! I guess it is my fault for having such expectations to hear them say it as I thought it would be the catchphrase of the series. Eventually most of the destruction that has happened can be pinpointed to them as the source whether they are guilty or not. Yeah, somebody has got to take the blame.

Personally, I thought the original pair is slightly better as compared to their Flash counterparts. They are not perfect and sometimes their relationship can amount to as frenemies. Sometimes they tease each other, try to outdo each other (when it comes to snagging a hot guy) but they know each other well enough to put what is important first. The Flash pair feels like they have nothing in comparison to the original ones and just took after their names. In Flash, Kei is too tomboyish while Yuri is too girlish to make you even wonder if they are fit for the job despite we can all blame the stupid computer glitch for pairing them up. The original Kei and Yuri too show the tomboy and girly side respectively but it is not as extreme in Flash. The original pair also seems to know how to work better than a team although I won’t say the Flash’s pair cannot cooperate. They started out hating each other and despite they tolerate each other in the end, it just doesn’t feel that they are as close as the original ones. Like as though, you’re my partner so might as well deal with it instead of b*tching about it. I mean, Flash’s Yuri had it worse when Kei temporarily left, right? You really don’t want an airhead like Lily to be your partner. Definitely.

The Flash pair is only ‘better’ in aesthetics and visually. Somehow I prefer Flash’s Kei with unrealistic towering spikey hair compared to the original Kei with an orange afro. I don’t know. Personally she looks like a jungle woman in that hairstyle. Flash’s Yuri is also much slimmer and it makes the original Yuri looking a bit chubby. Really. It feels like a running joke that they have to constantly correct people they are Lovely Angels when they are being referred to as Dirty Pair. Hey, at least they don’t tease them as dirty pair of underwear, hehehe… Ahem. Well, no matter what their methods, at least they get the job done, right? Maybe there should have been another better way… Oh yeah, the irony. Troublemakers getting the job done. Ah well, somebody needs to do it. Another running joke for Yuri is how she always gets stood up on her dates. How the heck did the guys date her in the first place? Must be her pretty face, huh? And then when she is always too busy with her job, boyfriend feels lonely that not enough time is spent. Dump zone. WTF. And she must be one heck of a dump masochist to be tolerating this in and out since if this has been going on for so long, this means she is putting her job before love, right? Work over romance? Can’t she just walk away and find a rich guy to support her and live the dream life? Yeah well, if she could ever find one.

Also, I feel that Gooley seems to be more of a ‘proper’ boss compared to Garner and even Poporo. At least Gooley has this assertiveness in his voice in ordering the ladies despite they always threaten him for pay and vacation but he knows how to deal with them. Whereas Garner feels weaker and is a wuss compared to the rest. I think he might be a kind boss or pacifist but I figure when you’re dealing with troublesome b*tches, you can’t go soft on them. Poporo might be intimidating seeing he has got that looks as a black bald guy but seeing the henpecked husband he is, he isn’t that fearsome after all. At least in the final episode, Poporo is given a lot of reprieve when we see him kick ass with the girls. Aside from that, they soften our hearts by showing her that he is a caring father who loves his daughter very much. Yes people. Love always wins in the end. Even if father is black and daughter is pale white. Whoops! Don’t tell me that line sounded racist!

Sidekicks like Mughi didn’t play a big role in the original series have been reduced to an unimportant pet in Flash. And I mean, they really reduce him in size too! They should have just tossed this character away like they did with Nanmo who was nowhere to be seen or mentioned in Flash instead of turning this big ferocious bear into a cute alien cat who has no sort of role in anything whatsoever. Besides, isn’t Mughi in Flash despite belonging to Yuri as mentioned, doesn’t it spend more time in Poporo’s office? I don’t think it is for safekeeping. As for the other characters-of-the-episode, thanks to the nature of the series, don’t go hoping to learn or find out more about them. You just watch and forget. This goes for the same in Flash although the characters would at least decently appear for the few episodes for that duration of the arc like Waldess, Flair and Touma.

Old school drawing I won’t complain since it really showcases the art style of that era and how far anime has really come. Looking at the original’s artwork, it really makes me feel old and sometimes I have that feel that I can’t tell whether it is anime or American cartoon. Although Kei and Yuri both have that anime looks, some of the other characters like Gooley and even the backgrounds have this American cartoon feel. With Flash debuting 10 years later, the art is more updated but at this point it already looks pretty much outdated. Also, the character designs have also that one kind feel. Good looking guys have this one kind look. Same case with bad guys. You can tell them apart in an instant unless they’re playing a deception game. As said, Flash is visually more updated and more anime-like although at this point now it seems so like 90’s era style.

Speaking of outdated, I also want to mention the ‘outdated’ futuristic technologies that were being used in this anime. I remember seeing them using a landline phone! OMG! Landline telephone! Such a futuristic setting in space with so many planets and galaxies to connect and they still use landline phones? Well, at least on the planet. If future generations see this, they’ll be wondering what kind of object that is. And then this… Using floppy disks to transfer data! OMG! OMFG! I wonder how big the data is. Yeah, such technologies are so obsolete now that you can’t even find them anywhere today. Finally, there are those robots or artificial intelligences that are so human-like. What I am trying to say is that it feels like a human putting on a robot outfit/disguise and moving about. So fake? And I suppose for the World’s World arc in Flash, they put a current day Japan setting as an excuse not to have too many space futuristic backgrounds and sceneries. It’s easier that way to animate something that you are familiar with.

Therefore the action and fight scenes are just well, okay. And some of them are just freaking hilarious especially bad guys who can’t shoot straight, you just want to tell them off to go back to training school. Like as though their role is just to be there for our infamous pair to take them out. The numbers doesn’t matter because our ladies will always nail them in the end. Yeah, pretty funny, huh? If you want to complain and compare about today’s standards then I think it wouldn’t be really fair. Because I am very pretty sure back in 1985, you don’t have the technology to put in all the cool special effects so you might see certain action scenes as unbelievably lame or with low quality. Especially the explosions. Of course it is all updated in Flash and it definitely fares better. Otherwise it would be such a waste and insult to have worse action scenes than the original, no? The final episode of Flash is perhaps the most exciting action scene (even better than its first episode) and I suppose they are leaving the last for best and ending it with a bang. If only more episodes in Flash were like this then it would have been truly a much better spin-off sequel than the original.

Of all the opening and ending themes that I have heard while watching both series, I still feel the original one is the most attractive. Especially the opening of the original TV series, Ru-Ru-Ru-Russian Roulette by Meiko Nakahara which has this old 80’s disco feel to add to its tune’s catchiness. The ending theme, Uchuu Renai also by Meiko Nakahara isn’t too bad either with its space-y theme. Perhaps the reason why I don’t find the opening and ending themes for Flash memorable or appealing because they are only showcased for that arc before changing a new one unlike the original whereby it is the same ol’ song from start to finish. Yeah, I guess back then they don’t have the budget to change the songs and animation as often as you see today. Many of the opening and ending themes are sung by Rica Matsumoto and/or Mariko Kouda (the voice of the new Kei and Yuri respectively). Of all the themes in Flash, I suppose the first opener, Kagirinai Answer and the third ending theme, Kokoro De Mitsumeteru fare better than the rest since this anime pop rock sets the pace of the series. Honki Shinaide (third opening) sounds more like a festival song, Kimi Ga Daisuki (second ending) sounds like a moe-moe piece, Thrill Ni Koishite (second opening) sounds a bit genki and out of place while Dai Ni Shou (first ending) is the only theme that isn’t sung by the duo but by MANA.

The series may be long gone and dusted at this point in time. But it sure does go back a long way that it was perhaps ahead of its time showcasing and empowering women kicking ass that led to many animes featuring such strong female leads. Or maybe we perverted guys just like to see boobs jiggle in action :). This series is good for those who really never grew out from the old cartoon era and those who like to watch their episodes simple without having the headache of keeping up with the twists and plots. Because what randomly happens in that episode, stays in that episode. That’s it. You move on to the next. Also good for current generation viewers who have grown fed up with today’s crappy standards of everything and want to rewind back to the good ol’ days for something different (and perhaps better?). And so we learn that whenever there is trouble cropping up somewhere in the darkest edge of the galaxy or just the corner of the toilet, don’t be too quick to call in trouble consultants to fix the problem. Try it yourself first. Like they say, if you want something done, it is best you do it yourself.

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