Damn! Do we really need it again?! You know how annoying that Smartphone series was?! You know how much that sucked?! So why am I here again watching Hyakuren No Haou To Seiyaku No Valkyria?! So I can tell you how sh*t this show is with the use of Smartphone in another world! Even though they did not spam the use of the Smartphone or make it look like it is one of the greatest tools ever in this alternate era, it is still bad enough when you consider how out of place the Smartphone is. In an era or time without such technological advances, imagine how overpowered and invincible you are when you are armed with such devices. Yup, our main character is yet another generic guy from the current modern era to be mysteriously sent to another world and time (and becomes super non-generic). But don’t despair. Luckily he had his Smartphone with him. Otherwise, how else would he have survived the primitive lifestyle and at the same time introduced some new age ideas and technologies? And here is the best part: He can make calls to talk to his friend back in modern time!!!!! FFFFFFUUUUUU!!! Mind blowing. I guess that’s the only feature that was lacking in that ‘very hated’ Smartphone series… Hey, at least this guy here used his Smartphone to communicate. COMMUNICATE. Make calls! That’s what a handphone is supposed to be, people!

Episode 1
Yuuto Suou is the patriarch leader of the Wolf Clan as he employs the phalanx tactic to turn the tables on the Horn Clan. With archers targeting him, his sister, Felicia uses her whip ability to whip them away. Victory is sealed when his daughter, Siegrune captures the patriarch of the Horn Clan. They are surprised to see Linnea, a young girl as the Horn Clan’s patriarch. He offers her to be one of his children but of course she refuses. His last salvation is to be his sister which does not bind her to servitude. Refuse and he will have no choice but to burn down her village and kill her people. Linnea agrees to be his sister. After returning triumphant to his city, this part is where it gets mind boggling. At the top of the temple, Yuuto rushes to call his childhood friend, Mitsuki Shimoya!!! Holy sh*t!!! I don’t know what time era or world they are in but the reception is damn good. It seems she knows about his position and hopes he will find his way home soon. Yuuto narrates he is somewhere on Earth but in a different timeline. This is probably the tools used seemingly from the Bronze Age as well as the stars in the sky that resembles the northern hemisphere. Morning comes, a little potential fanservice with Felicia and Siegrune hinting about ‘washing a man’s pipes’ so as ‘not to let him go astray to evil women’. Luckily for him but too bad for us, he is more hungry for food than of the horny kind. He goes to see Ingrid to increase output of weapons since the Horn Clan will be part of the Wolf Clan. Later, Yuuto and Linnea perform the Chalice of Allegiance ritual to signify their bond. The oath of the chalice is more important and creates stronger ties than those of blood. Yuuto’s goal is to rid all opposition to Wolf Clan so he can have a peace of mind while finding a way home. Later Linnea begs to spare her people and offers her body but of course Yuuto isn’t a dick and promises not to harm them. However horrible news just in. Because of the Horn Clan’s recent defeat, the neighbouring Hoof Clan invaded their nation. Their force numbers around ten thousand. Some council members don’t think they should send reinforcements and should just make slaves out of those Horn Clan people. As expected, Yuuto gets mad and shuts them up. Because doing so would violate the oath they made and ruin their reputation. It’s decided. They’re going to war and save the Horn Clan.

Episode 2
Siegrune leads her unit to do lightning attacks on the Horn Clan’s camp before retreating. Thanks to this tactic that goes on for a few days, the Horn Clan barely has any good rest. So it is time for Yuuto and his main army to attack. As expected, the Horn Clan’s army is exhausted although they still press on with their numbers. The Horn Clan’s patriarch, Yngvi notices a flaw in the Wolf Clan’s phalanx strategy. The flank is left unguarded so he uses his chance to attack it. Wow. Wolf Clan already starting to lose morale when Yngvi starts barging in like a raging bull. Apparently this is all part of Yuuto’s plan. The enemy will notice the weakness and will take action. This is to draw out Yngvi and isolate him so that he could face off with Siegrune. When both warriors clash, it seems Siegrune has the upper hand. Because she has a Japanese katana! OMG! Japanese steel stronger than your puny iron knife! Yngvi is cut down but has no regrets over losing to the stronger warrior. With that, it is victory for the Wolf Clan. Now we can rest with some fanservice as the ladies get into the bath with Yuuto. But what’s this? Linnea boldly asking Yuuto to marry him?! Hold on. The real battle starts now! Felicia tells her the proper procedure of doing things first. Uhm, washing a man’s back? Now they’re fighting over to wash his back. Later they talk to her and want her to spill the truth. Because Linnea wanting Yuuto to become the Horn Clan’s patriarch is too good of a deal. It seems in this world, the patriarch is chosen via merit as hereditary ones will lead to ruin. Yup, Linnea is a hereditary patriarch. Her father loved her so much that he installed her as his heir. She too loved her father and people and wanted to be a patriarch to protect them. But seeing she is weak, she wants Yuuto who is the right man to lead the Horn Clan. Of course they can’t decide this and will have to consult the council. Later as Felicia talks alone to Yuuto, she imagines him taking over the Horn Clan in which he will be one step closer to becoming ruler of Alfheim. She supports his marriage to Linnea because she knows he is trying to return to his world. In this marriage, he’ll have to go to wars and hence stay around. Yuuto appreciates Felicia for being by his side for 2 years and considers her his best friend. Just friends? Nevertheless Felicia is happy and changes her mind to stop this wedding.

Episode 3
What’s this? Lesbian fanservice with sisters Christina and Albertina?! Oh yeah. For whatever reasons dumb Albertina decided to agree and absorb sneaky Christina’s cold. Steinthor, the patriarch of the Lightning Clan pays a visit to Yuuto. He earns Yuuto’s ire when he harasses and mocks everyone who gets in his way since his entrance was deemed rude enough. Until Yuuto had to put on that angry face that hints don’t mess with my harem you dumb f*ck. Steinthor just says hi to him and leaves. Later Yuuto gets lectured by Mitsuki for not calling for 3 weeks (since he rushed off to fight against the Hoof Clan). Yeah. No excuse. So freaking great reception and he can’t be bothered to contact her? No wonder Mitsuki is crying. So glad big brother is still alive. Yuuto and Felicia walk through town and see its somewhat booming economy. Felicia credits Yuuto for ‘inventing’ paper although he claims he ‘cheated’. But in this age, there is also the slave trade. Hence kind Yuuto buys a mother and her young daughter for their freedom. Christina and Albertina saw this so they request an audience with Yuuto, claiming they are envoys from the Claw Clan. Suddenly they ask him to marry them! WTF?! Is Yuuto’s harem growing at a lightning pace?! With Yuuto rejecting them, we see the sisters arguing over this but this affirms Christina as the sneaky and smart one while Albertina the dumb and gullible one. They add that they are daughters of the Claw Clan’s patriarch and were sent by their father to be his wives. Yuuto can’t simply dismiss them as it seems Christina has very good intelligence and knows a lot of secret stuffs Yuuto did. Or maybe she has good hearing. Christina then reveals all this was just to test Yuuto and she is not disappointed. They want him to be their father under the oath but Yuuto wants them to bring him something to prove themselves.

Episode 4
Sorry Linnea. We interrupt your dreams of making out with Yuuto because the gang needs to prepare to head to Gimle. With the sisters’ wind powers, Yuuto’s carriage is able to get there in not time. Then the real battle over Yuuto’s bride begins. But thankfully they have to attend to the people of Gimle so the fight is put on hold for now. That night, Linnea attempts to make her horny dream come true by stripping naked and trying to make out with Yuuto! Good thing or not, Mitsuki’s face flashed before his eyes so he rejects her that he can’t even marry her! He claims he has someone else he loves. He also goes on to explain he is from a different world, perhaps thousands of years in the future as well as himself as being a failure many times over. So his lesson to her is that not to give up just because of a single failure because steels is tempered a hundred times. Thanks to that, Linnea won’t give up and bugs him for marriage. What a way to backfire. Sorry to interrupt this again but the others bring news that the Lightning Clan is preparing to wage a war. So as they discuss their next move, Christina suggests sending the sisters to spy on the Lightning Clan and obtain some information. Christina demonstrates by having Albertina using her super fast stealth moves. She is very fit for an assassination job. They will accomplish this mission and in exchange earn their right to the oath. Yuuto learns from his mistake and calls Mitsuki the battle he is going to go into. Then he returns to discuss tactics against the Lightning Clan. Unfortunately even for Siegrune, she feels she is not powerful enough to stand up against Steinthor. His subjects tell of stories how Steinthor manages to defeat large numbers of armies all by himself even before becoming a patriarch. However Yuuto brushes this off as a fool’s bravery since he relies only on brute force. Hence he believes the Wolf Clan cannot lose to someone like that.

Episode 5
The war begins as the Wolf Clan gets off to a good advantage as they use modern era crossbow and the phalanx strategy. Yuuto finds it strange that fighting them is somewhat easier than the Hoof Clan since the Lightning Clan army feels a lot less organized. When Siegrune and her unit goes in to defend the phalanx’s flank, that is when Steinthor barges in to fight her. Not even Siegrune could stand up to his mighty hammer so she makes a wise decision to retreat. Steinthor than clashes with another of Yuuto’s sons, Scarfior but the latter prefers not to fight him now and distracts the Lightning Clan army to collect precious metal laying on the battlefield. Some army as they don’t even listen to their high commander. Steinthor is advised to rest and treat his wounds. But after that, he finds that one of his great strategist got killed. He gets mad and returns to battle. Again he faces off with Scarfior but once more he parries his attacks enough to escape across the river. Steinthor orders his men to chase the retreating Wolf Clan across the river. Steinthor might be able to deflect arrows and cross it by himself but it’s not so lucky for his army. Steinthor fights against a few best warriors of Wolf Clan and even though their combined might cannot defeat him, all this is just part of Yuuto’s strategy to stall him. Because the time is right now for the river to flood and wash away the Lightning Clan! Previously, Yuuto had Linnea and the Gimle townsfolk build a damn up north of the river. With the river’s overflowing power, it eventually bursts the dam. Man, I must say it is a brilliant strategy but the problem was the timing was just too perfect! Too convenient! But of course Steinthor survives this and just has some broken bones. Back at the temple, Yuuto calls Mitsuki but she doesn’t want to hear his amazing heroic exploits. When is he coming home? Not sure. Don’t know how. But once the Wolf Clan becomes more powerful, he will be able to do more research in more places. So hang in there. It’s not like she has to wait thousands of years, right? Oh wait…

Episode 6
Yuuto teaches Ingrid how to make glasses. The close proximity is having her imagine all sorts of unholy things. To appreciate Yuuto’s talents and success, Jorgen suggests having him relaxed at a hotspring. It will also be a good opportunity for the ladies to get closer to him, if you know what I mean. And I have this feeling that Yuuto isn’t going to get his much needed rest as the girls come bug him in the hotspring as well as washing his body. Damn, Siegrune licking his feet?! Nose bleed incoming! Even after they get lectured, the girls give excuse they are doing this because he will be gone one day and want to repay him. He got careless to give them permission to do whatever they want because now they’re going to give him a massage… Damn this is going to look like gang rape… Back home, Ingrid forges a replacement sword for Siegrune that she lost during her battle with Steinthor. However she feels unsatisfied because it was not done by Yuuto. But lucky for her, Yuuto found and bought it back from a merchant who happened to stumble upon it. I wonder if it is too early to consider Epheria (the young daughter of the slave duo he bought) to be part of Yuuto’s harem. We see her trying to serve him normally but is clumsy. But of course Yuuto is such a kind guy and won’t harm her for such harmless mistakes. When he notices Epheria could read, this gives him an idea to educate all youngsters of the Wolf Clan. For free! They will pay for the buildings and whatever materials needed for education. They have enough wealth from the sale of glasses. This is a good investment for the Wolf Clan’s future by developing their own talented people. Although this idea is great, Felicia is worried because this is a sign that he is planning for what will happen when he is gone.

Episode 7
Flashback shows the former patriarch of the Wolf Clan blamed his aging for their failures and with the recent hard fought victory over the Claw Clan, he decides to pass on the patriarchy to Yuuto. Of course he protests as he wants to go home. But his brother, Loptr thinks it is all an act and is jealous of Yuuto stealing his dream. He tried to kill him but father protected Yuuto. Loptr fled in his fear. Father’s last dying words were if Yuuto goes home, he wants him to make Loptr his successor. Sighs. If only those kids let the old man finished his words. Now, Yuuto receives word that the Panther Clan has conquered the Hoof Clan. It is rumoured they used modern technology and Yuuto fears they have Loptr on their side since his rune allows copying techniques. Oh, Felicia now tells him she received a letter (in stone) 2 weeks ago from Loptr that he is the Panther Clan’s patriarch and wants her to come join him. Now you only say this?! Yuuto tries to act like he doesn’t know this and has Felicia write a fake letter to him. Too bad he can tell it is fake and invades the next area. No choice, Yuuto takes his army to go fight back. They are able to hold their ground against the advance unit but the real battle comes when Loptr joins in with his main army. Because both ex-brothers know each other, they try to outdo the other by thinking what they’ll do. Like Loptr surrounding Yuuto’s camp with his numbers. But Yuuto reveals a secret weapon. Actually, an iron wall! They can shoot arrows from behind without worries. With the Panther Clan’s casualties rising, Loptr won’t give up and wants his aide, Sigyn to use her power. It involves having Yuuto experience some weird hypnotizing thingy and their soldiers turn into fearless zombies as they ram through the iron walls. With Loptr facing off Yuuto, Felicia comes to his defence. Loptr even tries to kill her but Yuuto protects her. Finally when Siegrune arrives on a camel, Loptr’s horse starts acting up. Even the enemy horses start running away. No choice, Loptr retreats. It seems horses can’t stand the smell of camels. This explains why Siegrune is late but she’s the only camel I see around. It’s not like she brought an entire fleet of them. Is the camel that smelly? If so, why can humans stand it? Damn, plot convenience for our Wolf Clan to rest.

Episode 8
It’s so cold but thank goodness for the invention of… Kotatsu! Yuuto notices something strange about Epheria. So when he peeks at her at school, he realizes she is being ignored. A form of bullying. But don’t worry, Christina has a plan. With her sister, they infiltrate as students. Of course Christina doesn’t hesitate to make fun of dumb Albertina in front of everyone. Christina soon reports there is a queen in class and she is making everyone ignore Epheria. Apparently this was Yuuto’s fault. When she brought her to school, he showed too much affection for her and thus making the queen jealous. Christina’s plan is to become the new queen and change Epheria’s status. Soon we see the power shift as Christina is more popular and the (former) queen is now ignored. When all is invited to the hotspring, Epheria invites her as well. Friendship saved. Yuuto calls Mitsuki and they hint us the period Yuuto is in is before Jesus’ birth because no Christmas and hence no presents. So is Yuuto going to invent Christmas???!!! NO WAY!!! Anyway, Ingrid is mad at Yuuto. Apparently he is supposed to spend the day with her in the smithy but he forgot. Now you remember? First he has to shrug off the other girls who are interested to join in. Ingrid soon learns Yuuto wants her to teach him how to make items so he can give them as presents to other women. Grrr… No wonder she is so mad. She tries to seduce him in the meantime but to no avail. In the end when she thinks she has got his attention, Yuuto lectures her about how to be a proper woman instead of you know, trying to get her boobs this close to his face or something. That’s it. Patriarch or not, she hits him! OMG! Next morning, she ignores him but apparently he crafted a necklace for her as apology. More flattering words that she is pretty, etc. Well, all is forgiven. He is sure she can attract more men but there is only one guy she is ever interested in… Guess who? Meanwhile, Loptr agrees to enter an oath with the Lightning Clan. He is fine they are brothers on equal footing as he has had it with younger brothers. With the Lightning Clan and Panther Clan joining forces, they plan to get rid of Yuuto and his Wolf Clan.

Episode 9
Time to take a detour to the real world. Uhm we’re starting off with Mitsuki’s boobs being fondled by Ruri? It seems she also knows about Yuuto being sent back to the past and teases Mitsuki about dating him. Yeah, she’ll do that when he returns. Whenever that is. Ruri invites her to spend New Year’s Day at her place. That’s because she introduces her to her cousin, Saya Takao who is interested to hear about this story. From what Mitsuki says, a lot doesn’t follow the Norse mythology while some are curiously almost similar. In the end, she believes Yuuto is the Surtr in the Ragnarok legend and Mitsuki’s surname is similar to Sinmara, Surtr’s wife. I don’t know, but why is Mitsuki experiencing panic attacks each time Saya explains? And the worse panic attack comes when she realizes at the end of the mythology, they are all killed. Well, let’s hope they don’t follow the mythology 100%. Back to Yuuto, he sounds like a stalker as he can’t get through Mitsuki. He talks to Scarfior and feels guilty about the recent loss to Panther Clan. But without his guidance, he believes the Wolf Clan would have even more casualties. Yuuto hopes he can look out for Siegrun because he views her as the only one who can take down Loptr. Later Yuuto manages to get through to Mitsuki as she tells him about the Norse mythology she was told, albeit not much. Looks like more research needs to be done so stay tuned. Yuuto turns into a jealous guy learning she went to a friend’s house. Thank goodness she is a girl, right? Even more so he wants to know if Ruri’s cousin is a boy! Heck, Mitsuki can’t even tell him the most important thing because he is so pushy of wanting to know if Saya is boy or girl! Like, WTF???!!! He deserved to be called baka. Baka! Baka! BAKA!!! Yuuto leaves and stumbles into a commotion in some bar. To his shock, the female before him looks like Mitsuki!

Episode 10
She is actually Leafa, a princess of Jarl Clan. Looks like she is going to stay at Yuuto’s place. And all his harem mistakes her as Mitsuki. Wow. They really know how his true love looks like. Because not everyone can enter the workshop, Leafa makes a fuss. Luckily Yuuto didn’t give in to her feminine wiles. She learns Yuuto came to this world after looking into a holy mirror made out of elven copper and it activated when Felicia was doing a ritual at the same time. Leafa gives hope that there is such an elven copper mirror in this world too but will only tell after lunch. Yuuto treats her to hamburgers? The talk distracts about Leafa being a magic user. Because Yuuto is sceptical, she demonstrates by paralyzing him. As 2 runes appear on Leafa, Felicia recognizes the only other person who can do this, the divine emperor Sigrdrifa. So this is Leafa’s true identity? Unfortunately this magic about being internal and external, Leafa is good at the former but sucks at the former and needs somebody else to break the spell on him. The only one who can break any spell is Sigyn. Or he can wait a week until the spell wears off. Later Yuuto calls Mitsuki and tells her about Leafa as well as the new hope of being able to come back. A spell named Fimbulvetr just needs to be cast on him. The problem is, Sigyn can do it. Mitsuki’s suggestion: Find somebody else. You mean Yuuto did not think about this and sounds so happy to hear this suggestion? Or did Mitsuki not hear him say she is the only person, ONLY person who can do so. We take a detour with Yuuto celebrating New Year with his harem. As usual, they all got drunk and start stripping for him. Time to go to war as news of Steinthor leading his Lightning Clan to attack them again. So to thank Yuuto’s hospitality, Leafa kisses him. It’s a good luck kiss. No complaints, right? Back to the battle, Steinthor stuns everyone when he uses his iron umbrella to deflect the arrows. He throws it back at their barrier to break an opening for his army to break through. Wolf Clan is weakening so Yuuto sets in motion an encircling tactic. Steinthor knows what he is doing and plans a retreat. However going back means more will die and the only way through is forward (there will be casualties albeit lesser). Steinthor stays back to fight Siegrune who is joined by Scarfior. Steinthor is so powerful that he almost kills Siegrune. Scarfior protects her but gets flung off the cliff! Yuuto thought it is Wolf Clan’s victory but I guess he didn’t see this one coming because Loptr and his Panther Clan are coming in to attack with their 10,000 strong army.

Episode 11
With the Panther Clan and Lightning Clan joining forces, the only option left for Yuuto is to retreat. However… He won’t because he won’t abandon his family. The reason is if they run, they will eventually be swarmed and the entire Wolf Clan will be enslaved. Also, his Smartphone isn’t giving him any further ‘cheats’. Yuuto’s idea is to head down to the frontlines and boost his troops’ morale. This is the reason why Lightning Clan is always high on morale because Steinthor is always down on the ground with them. And with that appearance, the soldiers have their morale boost so high that they fight back. Yeah, they should carry a picture of Yuuto with them. Well, if pictures are invented then. The revitalized Wolf Clan now push back their enemies. We switch the Steinthor’s fight with Siegrune. He is bored with her since she is weak (although on the verge of defeat, she still gets back up to fight). He wants to go fight Yuuto but Siegrune manages to convince him he hasn’t seen all she has to offer yet. And so this is her incredulous winning move. Steinthor strikes her sword away. But it spins so far and long in the air that he forgot it will land. Her sword then lands. She picks it up and slices his gut. WTF???!!! Because of how satisfied he is, he calls for his troops to retreat. More good news as Scarfior is found still alive at the bottom of the cliff. Don’t worry. It must have been a very short cliff. Loptr again isn’t pleased he is inferior to Yuuto. So desperate he is going to fight him now. Well, you want something done, better do it yourself. With Sigyn using her spell to let all soldiers ignore Loptr and pave a way through, Loptr shows us his evil side so that we could hate him as he attacks Felicia who protects Yuuto. And when the men begin to fight, Yuuto just rams into him and Loptr passes out!!!! WTF????!!! THIS GUY IS FREAKING WEAK???!!! But it’s not over yet. Sigyn’s spell now overwhelms Yuuto. Oh no. He is disappearing! Yuuto’s thoughts: Here, Felicia. Take my Smartphone. Bye. Vanished. Hope she knows how to use it. Mitsuki returns home and sees a bright flash from her room. Why, it’s Yuuto!

Episode 12
Natural for both of them to be suspicious at first. But they’re the real deal. Yuuto quickly asks to borrow her Smartphone to call his. No reception. But of course. Meanwhile, Loptr isn’t pleased Yuuto is gone because he wanted to kill him. I thought you want him gone and this is as good as being dead? Yuuto’s disappearance becomes a rife rumour as many are not sure if he died or really just disappeared. Word of it reaches Linnea late and she cannot believe her ears. I guess that’s what happened when you don’t have a Smartphone for the latest news. With Yuuto gone, the Panther Clan and Lightning Clan take this chance to attack the Wolf Clan. Christina talks to Leafa about summoning Yuuto back. As Leafa is as powerful as Sigyn, she can do so but it all depends whether or not Yuuto wants to or not. Meanwhile Yuuto and Mitsuki are out dating. Gotta catch up all those missing years. But you can tell the worried looks on Yuuto’s face that he is itching to go back. And then a call from Yuuto’s phone! Not sure if Ingrid turned into a tech wizard but she managed to get the line through. Yuuto speaks to Felicia as she updates him they lost several places and men. Yuuto is glad they’re still alive especially Siegrune who led the battlefront. She tells him about the possibility of returning but also cautions him. Whatever decisions he makes, they will respect it. Once they hang up, tough act is over, back to crying. He better make the right choice, huh? Mitsuki knows what he wants so she sets up just like the events of that fateful day for him to return. She is okay for him to return. Because she wants to come along too. So Yuuto is okay going back alone but not with her? Oh, now he brings up her friends and family. What about himself? He tries to make it sound scary she cannot come back or see them again but you know what? This is where the cheesy power of love comes in. Even though the past has no electricity or internet, as long as she has him, she will be alright! OMFG! Why does this feel like a longwinded attempt for her to confess to him? So his reply? If she is coming with him, he wants to make her his wife. You mean Mitsuki didn’t think this far and looking this shock? Why do I feel this longwinded drama is for this next scene? With her agreeing, they ‘solemnize’ their love with a kiss under the moon. Come to think of it, I suppose there are no martial restrictions back there. And so Yuuto returns as the glorious patriarch of Wolf Clan. Mitsuki is here too. Leafa sees her ‘clone’ for the first time. No b*tch fight. Everybody is so glad to have him back.

Valkyria Chronicles: The Master Of Shag-A-Lot And Blesser Of Ein-Harem-Jar
OMG. I don’t know whether I am supposed to be happy or sad. Excited or disappointed. Most likely it is the latter. Because it is unbelievable the duo pulled off an Inu Yasha style ending. You know, f*ck the current modern era and go live back in the ancient past. Happily ever after. After all, Yuuto has got his harem back there and now with Mitsuki as his wife, the more the merrier. No stupid legal laws regarding relationship because since Yuuto is the big father, he is the law! He makes the law! Haha! Now I see why the past is so much fun. And because no internet, no social media sites that would just bring all sorts of twisted love you see happening today. OMG. I have to admit it. Taking account the long run of everything, Yuuto and Mitsuki did make the right choice to abandon the present to go back to the past! So are they fulfilling the prophecy of Ragnarok? Only time will tell.

Well, this isn’t so bad as that Smartphone series although it is still pretty bad. Perhaps it doesn’t suck as bad is because he did not excessively use his Smartphone. Maybe he does but it is not shown to us. I think it will make us hate any more future shows that will utilize the Smartphone and make the protagonist look like a overpowered protagonist when all he did was just use the app and go onto the internet and search for stuffs. Really. That is all Yuuto did to gain an advantage. Oh yeah. Google had all the answers to all his war strategies but nothing pertaining to how the f*ck he should get back to his original era. Come on, Google! Buck up!

But it is nice to know and perhaps the only most interesting segment of the series is the mid-intermission. While the first part has a long narration and excerpt for the featured character, the second part describes some of the more interesting things featured in the episode such as war strategies or historical items and systems. It is a bit long to read (the explanations covering half the screen) but I guess they provide some interesting enlightenment to those like yours truly who knows nothing about everything. Sure, I can Google them if I want to but I’m just too lazy… And after I read them, I forget…

Of course everybody would agree with me is how the Smartphone is incredibly used to call Mitsuki. In real time! Holy sh*t! Even today’s technology of live video conferencing and streaming is still shaky. Okay, much better than in the last decade but still, for Yuuto to have perfect reception and to hold a perfectly uninterrupted (until battery life is low) with Mitsuki just shows you how blatant the series wants to insult us. I know we all noticed that Yuuto could only make the call at a very specific place and at a very specific time but the idea of him being able to update Mitsuki like that is absolutely ludicrous. Hey, on the bright side, at least he is using the phone TO TALK AND COMMUNICATE. Then again, this leads to the question of why didn’t he just update and post on Facebook or Twitter or his whatever social media account. Oh right. Specific time and place. If that’s the case, might as well talk to his one true love because he is so homesick to hear her voice. Cheesy…

This is another mind boggling question that bugged me throughout the series. It is stated that Yuuto went back to the past. Doesn’t this mean that all his actions would have changed the future?! Why don’t we read of Yuuto’s exploits and heroics in history books then?! Why is Yuuto not ‘famous’ at least for those who studied Norse history. If they say that Yuuto went to another parallel world or time, I guess that it is okay and just passable (although still crap). But since they stated he went back to the past, you would think that Mitsuki and other Japanese students would have learnt about the great Japanese guy’s feats on a foreign soil long ago. Nope. No such history recorded in the books. And if Yuuto had introduced so many inventions (I would prefer the term of stealing and plagiarising), why isn’t Yuuto credited as the founder or creator of those? Funny, right? So he definitely can’t be in the past. Because I also believe in the past there are no such sexy babes to form such harem for a foreigner guy too.

And gee, Yuuto might not be an expert in telling the constellations and the stars but at least he could have Google it. What I mean is that there was one point early in the anime in which Yuuto was talking to Mitsuki so as to tell us viewers he is stuck in the past. Hence the stars are an excuse because they look familiar to the real world but he couldn’t pinpoint it where. Hey. It’s not like the last few thousand years the stars in the sky changed their positions dramatically, right? So shouldn’t he be able to do a bit of research to at least give him an idea where he is? Such lazy excuse…

Because the past is based on Norse mythology, one of the annoying things I find watching the series is the pronunciation and the spelling of the names of the characters. You know, Norse culture have their own handwriting. Therefore when those odd alphabets start to pop up onscreen, I was like “What the heck are those letters?! I can’t f*cking read them?!”. Thankfully they are pronounced. But again, they aren’t pronounced even close to the letters they are spelled. They don’t even add up. Because of that, I was having a hard time identifying those characters and I’m like, who again? Yeah, I know I should do at least a bit of research on those Norse alphabets but I blame being too lazy after watching this series.

It goes to show you that nobody really cares about Yuuto’s disappearance. I mean, does his family, friends or school even bother to put up some sort of notice that he went missing for some time? Even odder, why the f*ck is he only updating Mitsuki and why did she not tell everyone else? Sure, she did tell her friend and her so called history expert cousin but looks like they weren’t needed after all. So sorry your appearances were a waste. Too bad Mitsuki rather be with her love than you guys. At least she decided. Even more mind boggling when Yuuto returned temporarily, you see them going around living their ordinary lives. The rate at which Yuuto vanished to the past would have attracted headlines and the media frenzy. Him coming back with not so much as a single f*cks given shows that nobody cares or even knows! This is just so ridiculous. And now that they both have gone back, you think Mitsuki’s parents have a say in this? I’m sure she isn’t an orphan because she lives in a decent home, right? So in the extreme case that Mitsuki’s parents and friends gave her their blessing because of that I-want-you-to-be-happy crap reason, it still doesn’t change the fact that the whole world doesn’t care. Hmm… Maybe those are the sentiments of us outsiders watching this series. Okay. Got it.

On a trivial note, I want to point out the different clan names in this series. While some sound okay and passably majestic like the Wolf Clan because you know, main character’s group. Lightning Clan and Panther Clan also sound reasonable. But Hoof Clan? Hoof as in being trampled and run over? No wonder they were defeated. I mean whoever was the founder and patriarch didn’t manage to come up with a better name than this?! Same case for Horn Clan. I mean, why horn of all things? Were they meant to be shoehorned into the story or something? I have yet to come across the Tail Clan (so they can run away with their tail between their legs) or the Ass Clan (special skills include shooting at enemies with their fire powered diarrhoea) or the Water Flea Clan (small and annoying at its best). Yeah, those would be so epic… I don’t know how they pick the name of their clan because they don’t even show the slightest exhibit of that name. There are no wolves in Wolf Clan…

Let me go over the characters quickly then. Cliché and nothing exciting. All has been done and tested in many other animes before. Do I need to remind you how Yuuto fits into almost every trope of being a main character? Japanese dude. Check. From the present time. Check. Super high heroic qualities of never abandoning his family. Check. Harem. A must. Check. And not forgetting his ever useful ‘cheat device’, his Smartphone. Check. List complete. Well, the only thing that makes him different than every other characters of this genre who is trapped in some place other than their original place is that he is able to return home! That dude in Overlord is still trapped there and is continuing to run his band of evil floor guardians. The bunch of guys in Log Horizon are still lost over the horizon. And that programmer in Death March Kara Hajimaru Isekai Kyousokyoku continues to live in that other world. Wow, Yuuto. You really came back. But he isn’t the first because Kirito from Sword Art Online also did it.

The rest of Yuuto’s harem of ‘sisters’ and ‘daughters’ feel like an excuse why this series is to be made and to proceed. Because other than Yuuto engaging in subjugation or defending wars against other clans, what else has the patriarch of the Wolf Clan got to do in his free time but his harem bugging him? So we have Felicia who seems as the closest to be his number one because of their proximity all the time. She tries to flirt with him in hopes of awakening his horny side but too bad for her, Yuuto isn’t that kind of guy.

Then there is Siegrune as the, uhm, honourable one. The sisters of Albertina and Christina are obviously created as comic relief characters and they can become very annoying with scheming Christina taking full advantage of her dumb retarded sister because she gets her kicks to see Albertina squeal due to her being so gullible. Ingrid feels like the backup character and kind who is the dark horse of the harem. The one who isn’t in the front running for the main character’s affections but if the rest fails, she’ll gladly be there to take their spot. I feel Linnea is a bit redundant. After becoming Yuuto’s sister, a few episodes of her trying to be his wife, and then the final stretch of the season, she falls off the radar. It’s like she doesn’t matter anymore. Same case for Epheria. But I feel she isn’t in the running to be part of Yuuto’s harem and she looks up to him as a fatherly figure than a lover. Last and not least, Mitsuki. Is there a girl ever so patient to wait for her man’s return even if it means never returning? Ah, such true love. Now it pays off. She is now his wife. And Leafa being a Mitsuki look-a-like, I can see that her only role was to bring Yuuto back. That’s all. Otherwise she is pretty much a redundant character.

The bad guys and so called antagonists of the series also feel one-dimensional. I guess in this era of strife, there is no Facebook and internet, hence nothing else better to do than to fight wars and conquer lands. Steinthor just likes to fight and it’s like his pastime while Loptr is driven by childish jealousy revenge over Yuuto. Because nothing speaks like getting even with your former brother by becoming the patriarch of another clan to take down your former clan. WTF. And Sigyn is like the exotic belly dance this anime needs because she can dance you into trance and cast whatever spells on you. Like transport Yuuto back to his original time. Such plot convenience. Should have done that a long time ago if Loptr really intended to get rid of him. Now that Yuuto is back, they can take their time doing skirmishes. Hey, it’s a way of life then.

The fight scenes aren’t so spectacular. Just mediocre. Sure, there are some interesting war strategies in place but those are just mentioned and then executed quickly before everything descends into some big brawl or the big wigs fight against each other. But even that isn’t exciting. Like Siegrune versus Steinthor it’s just so mediocre… Just swing your Japanese sword, lady! Just swing your big hammer, arrogant guy! And for the rest of you small fries, the one with the better determination to die for your patriarch lives! Or see a formation of soldiers, just charge in and disrupt their structure! With so many soldiers dying in the battlefield, it makes me wonder if this era will run out of men and humans will go extinct. If I want to take into account that past-future thingy how if your ancestors die, you will not be born in the future, hence affecting the path of the future timeline, I think I’m going to end up with a lot of headache so better not go there.

Art and animation feel just average. But it could be just me because the look of the characters I feel they should belong and fit better to a visual novel instead. I tend to notice that at some points the animation feels low quality especially during the battle scenes. Like as though they want to get over this fast. And the other odd thing is how all the normal foot soldiers from all the clans look like your typical scrawny uncle and famer guy. I mean, I don’t expect all the men to have that buffed up Sparta feel but it feels like as though they are just picked out from their village to be enlisted. Just don the helmet and armour, off you go to the frontlines. As for the guys serving as brothers under the patriarch, why do some of them look like malnourished? Like, Scarfior. I thought he was a drug addict or something. No, seriously. Only Yuuto, Loptr and Steinthor have this Japanese anime style look for guys. This series is done by EMT2 who brought us Kuma Miko, Renai Boukun, Alice Or Alice and Urahara.

Voice acting wise, I only recognize Aoi Yuuki and Ayana Taketatsu as Albertina and Christina respectively as well as Kouji Yusa as Loptr and Eri Kitamura as Saya. Ah, I guess one of my biggest ‘relief’ is to find Aoi Yuuki to voice in her cute squeaky trademark voice the way I always recognize and prefer her as. Ever since that, wait for it, Aho Girl thingy that I very often blamed, this kind of voice seems to be getting rarer and rarer. The other casts are Koudai Sakai as Yuuto (Mitsumune in Mayoiga), Rie Suegara as Felicia (Emily in Harukana Receive), Arisa Date as Siegrune (Narumi in Wotaku Ni Koi Wa Muzukashii), Kanon Takao as Linnea (Yuu in Ani Tore), Maki Kawase as Ingrid (El Hoshino in Hisone To Masotan), Aoyama Yoshino as Epheria (Guri in Renai Boukun), Lynn as Sigyn (Asahi in Mahou Shoujo Site), Atsushi Tamaru as Steinthor (Ayato in Gakusen Toshi Asterisk), Aya Uchida as Mitsuki (Kaede in YuruYuri) and Rika Tachibana as Leafa (Reiko in Shomin Sample).

The opening theme is Brightway by Aya Uchida. Typical generic lively anime pop. I suppose it is rather okay for this kind of series but I didn’t pay much attention to it since I didn’t find it appealing. With Aoi Yuuki and Ayana Taketatsu making their appearance, of course we have to utilize Petit Milady. They sing the very girly ending theme, Sekaichuu Ga Koi Wo Suru Yoru. But the ending credits animation might be able to distract you with its kaleidoscope visuals and naked girls lying around wearing only bed sheets to cover their modesty. WTF…

Overall, this series is still bad. It might not feel as bad as that Smartphone one because perhaps we are already immune. We have come to expect the disappointment and it delivered as we expected. So can we all agree now that shows using Smartphones to make overpowered characters are disasters in the making and waiting to happen? If you don’t want to be disappointed with this kind of genre already, you better stay way clear. Deploy the tactic of run and retreat. It will save you millions of brains cells from dying while trying to defend your sanity from the onslaught of absurdity. Oh, one more last thing to ponder. Shouldn’t Yuuto take a selfie of himself in the past? I’m sure it will garner a lot of likes over social media, gain a lot of media attention and if Yuuto ever decides he is bored with the past life and finally wants to return, he will be greeted with a warm and rousing hero’s welcome. All hail the Smartphone! The true master and blesser of the all time, past, present and future.