Nanatsu No Bitoku OVA

September 14, 2018

They’re still trying to find the right Messiah? They’re still trying to find the qualified candidate to take on Lucifer? Good luck, girls. You’re going to need them. I mean, really need them. In Nanatsu No Bitoku OVA, we see a couple more short OVAs in which the Heavenly Virtues try their luck for the aforementioned above. But I can tell what the outcome will be like and more importantly, the kind of ‘experience’ I’m going to get while watching it.

Uriel is not happy. She believes she is going to be screwed. Indeed. She is put up to be tested by a machine made by Sandalphon and Metatron. Yeah, it is supposed to judge a candidate’s quality. I’m doubting it but I’ll still watch… Tied to a chair as her legs are forced to be spread open, a candidate is ushered in and made to wear a VR helmet. We can already see he is a pervert because we see him trying to use the mouse cursor to click on Metatron’s boobs. Annoyed Metatron turns off the cursor. Now for the real test. He has to look into Uriel’s eyes and nothing else for loyalty. So far so good. Uriel is then put close to him to test endurance. Hmm… Panting a bit. After a few tests, we come to the final one in which Uriel is tickled like mad as our candidate also tries to do the same with the cursor. Unfortunately the “You are a hentai!” warning pops up and is hence ejected into the water. I guess he’s not qualified. Uriel feels so violated. Patience, patience… Isn’t that supposed to be her virtue?

Looks like Michael has a special training for her angels. Uhm, water gun fight to improve their agility? WTF. Don’t worry about anyone seeing them at the park because Sandalphon’s device to turn them invisible is on. So when it descends into a fun water gun fight, Michael shows what the real deal is about. She fires her gun to really drench them. It turns out the water will turn their swimsuits invisible! What intensity is she talking about if they’re naked???!!! The only thing intense is our libido!!! So they start shooting each other until they’re totally naked. At this point, the device also takes a hit and malfunctions. They realize that there are lots of people staring at them. Holy sh*t! Free show! And Michael can still laugh it isn’t easy to find a Messiah? Is this what this was about?! Michael, you’re fired!

Fallen Angels – Heaven Is Doomed!
All as per expected. The couple of short OVAs are meant to stimulate our pathetic libido while not caring much whether or not they really find their true saviour. Because those without vision can also see how much Lucifer will kick all their asses. You think they would have learnt something from the TV series? Nope. This OVA made them worse and sealed heaven’s fate. If you die and wonder why you didn’t go to heaven and plunge straight down into the depths of hell despite being generally a good soul for a good part of your life, this is why. This is where you pin your blame. We got our free angel tits. Yay! We can be happy for the rest of the day.

I am sure this is the reason why we only have 2 OVAs instead of more. Because we all know deep down, the more we see them, the more inept idiocy they show, the more we lose our faith. Yeah, hence in this sense it is a tad sad that some of the angels don’t even get to have a decent screen time. The fact that God is absent to even supervise their actions especially Michael shows that either God doesn’t care or God is a pervy who wants to see his archangels naked and in compromising positions or God intends to betray us all because he has already aligned with Lucifer. Yikes! This is an even more devastating plot! But for now, we have to put up with slutty fails because now we can also blame them for the increase of the number of perverts in the world instead of saviours. Oh God help us all. Or rather, Lucifer please help us all and save us from this unholiness!

Nanatsu No Bitoku

June 16, 2018

Oh well. It was only a matter of time. Ever since the sinfully delicious Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai hit the airwaves, some of us started wondering whether their ‘good’ counterparts are going to get some focus too. Wonder no more because here it is sequel spin-off, Nanatsu No Bitoku or the Seven Heavenly Virtues. We take a look at what was going on on the other side while Lucifer was running rampant. Yup, that is why you don’t really see the rest of those virtuous babes anywhere in the first series. Now, you might notice that the run time for each of the episodes are only 4 minutes long! WTF?! Why so short?! Ah well, it goes to show that being part of the sinning side is more fun than being part of the good side.

Episode 1
In order to fight the Seven Mortal Sins, Michael gathers the Seven Heavenly Virtues. In case you don’t know them, here they are: Michael (the angel of faith), Uriel (patience), Sariel (kindness), Sandalphon (diligence), Metatron (charity), Raphael (temperance) and Gabriel (chastity). Uhm, this sexy cosplay girls ended up in the wrong anime or what? Oh, never mind. Michael seeks a potential Messiah candidate to help save the world and picks up a random normal guy from Japan’s streets! Not really sure if Michael is bad at picking up stuffs… Why didn’t she pick me then? Anyway, she begins training him to defeat evil by doing push-ups? Uhm, your nipples are showing, Michael. Oh, never mind. Enjoy the view. And some panty shots too. Praise the Lord! But when Michael gets hungry, Messiah cooks for her and she’s so looking forward to it. Then it is back to more merciless Spartan training but whenever he cooks omelette rice for her, she becomes docile like a dog wagging its tail. I wonder who is taming who?

Episode 2
Uriel is the ‘master’ of hiding because she believes in supporting Messiah from the shadows. This means trying to hold in the urge to go to the toilet. Is this what being patient means? Uhm, I think she might be some sort of masochist here… We see her trying to ‘hide’ at weird places but I suppose her boobs and butt are so big that they are offensively protruding. Pretend not to see her guys. Nothing to see. Move along. In the end, she gives in to her urge to urinate. So she wants holding it in because she doesn’t know where the toilet is and she can’t leave him out of her sight? As punishment she wants him to sexually abuse her?! In the end, Messiah was fired from his job and is having a hard time finding a new one. He goes home only to see Uriel trying to hide behind his sheets naked. Is this her idea of supporting him from the shadows for his job search? Oh, I can see instant rejections already…

Episode 3
Raphael drops in on a school festival and enjoys eating a low fat sugar free doughnut. She makes friends with the stall owner and thanks to her (sexy) advertising, his doughnuts are sold out. She praises his skills and thinks he is a master but he is humble and maintains he is still learning. She helps him out to research various desserts. Cue for fanservice when she has cream spilled so erotically over her hot body. Raphael learns he has no friends as he spends most of his time trying to make desserts. It is his dream to become a dessert chef. Raphael manages to set him up with a few people with the same interests for a training camp but since he is still lacking confidence, she gives him a special training. Sorry, nothing hentai. After having a great time making cupcakes together, Raphael realizes something. She erases his memories about her and lets him go. She believes he is much more suited for this profession than being a Messiah.

Episode 4
Sandalphon seeks advice from her compatriot from the internet. She wants to put off training her Messiah until he focuses and passes his exams. However the machine she made isn’t working. Yeah, looks like a torture device to me. She tries to make another machine that would relax him but she falls asleep halfway on the job. You know it’s hard to focus when she sleeps so sexy like that. But this guy’s virginity remains strong! Focus! Focus! Sandalphon then has him go out shopping with her to buy stuffs and it looks like a date. It’s like God is testing him because more moments that are had to focus when the machine washes her erotically and she cooks for him in a naked apron. Focus! Focus! Thankfully his hard work pays off and does well for the exams. Happy Sandalphon wants to start the real Messiah training. Looks like he needs to put in more hard work and no rest…

Episode 5
When you have such an angel as your nurse, you know you’re the luckiest bastard in the world or the most cursed one. Or both. Like this hospitalized dude who has Metatron as his nurse. Male fantasies kicking in. Because of her clumsiness, he fears her. However following porn logic, she owns up for her mistakes by washing his back with her huge boobs and his body with hers. Oh yeah. Praise the Lord! But then it soon turns to hell when she starts tying him up S&M style and uses all sorts of nasty equipment on him. Man, it’s like she turned into the devil and made him her plaything! We discover that whenever she touches a needle, she turns into a super sadistic person. Maybe that is why many fear nurses with needles… Yeah, Messiah almost died and went to heaven without even starting his mission. Time to repent?

Episode 6
Gabriel is virtual signalling to everyone in the red light distract that immoral activities are wrong. This coming from an angel who dresses like a slut! Apparently she thinks this normal guy who likes porn is her Messiah. So she follows him home and starts virtue signalling no porn! No this! No that! Then she becomes like his mother because she also tells him the right food to eat and the correct soap to use! WTF?! Nagging loli!!! Must be a tiring day of virtue signalling. Uh huh. She sleeps like a slut on him. Thankfully it’s his day off so he takes her to the amusement park and she happily enjoys it like a kid. At the end of the day, she shows him her true angel form. Why? Because illicit sexual activities are wrong and he should have a wholesome relationship with her. Why do I keep seeing queen control in his future?

Episode 7
A guy returns to his home only to see it being turned into some high level host club. Sariel is going to treat him with utmost kindness and blow away his bad day at work (shucks, I thought blow away would mean blowjob…). He takes advantage of this by burying his face in her boobs (the biggest among all Seven Heavenly Virtues) while complaining about his bad day. After pounding his face with her ass, this awakens his masochistic side as he wants more ‘system shock’. How is big boobs slapping your face work as motivation? Not enough? Tits sucking doing the trick? He wants more but looks like Sariel is all out of love. Claiming she is abandoning him, she transforms into her angel form. However her feather causes her to sneeze and the entire building explodes! I hope that was all the shock he needs.

Episode 8
The Heavenly Virtues are on a packed train. Apparently it was somebody’s idea to learn more about humans. Yeah… I have a hunch what is taking up so much valuable space in this coach… So packed that we only have boob shot spaces of our babes. Not sure what kind of train is that but it keeps hitting the emergency brakes so that the girls could slam their humongous tits into our faces. Like as though the conductor knew busty babes were riding and intentionally did that to make our day. Thank you very much. Because of that, Michael really wants to wipe clean this corrupted world! I believe all the guys here won’t mind dying today. But as more different get on, they start to believe and understand more of human actions. Is it me or has Gabriel been annoying all along trying to virtue signal and exact punishment with her non-existent boobs push? WTF?!

Episode 9
Michael has this brilliant plan to serve Messiah better. They will record themselves in training and distribute it to prospective Messiahs. Yeah, why do I keep thinking this is going to be like porn distribution? First we have them jump up and down to loosen the muscles. Oh yeah. You girls should keep jumping longer, know what I mean? Don’t worry flatties, I’m sure there are those who appreciate you. Next comes leg muscles stretching. Crotch shots, panty shots, butt shots, underboob shots. Man, we have everything! Stretch longer! Now they get onto a series of sexy training. But in the end, they all tire out. My verdict: You angels are pretty out of shape and not fit to even pant and tire like that! How the f*ck can you properly serve your Messiah?! At this rate I wonder if you would even get tired of doing a 5 minute blowjob!!! OOPS!!! Oh, okay. But please do send more of those videos, okie dokie please?

Episode 10
Our Heavenly Virtues are changing in the locker room as they tell about their Messiah they have found. They compare each of their Messiah and of course believe theirs is the best and ready to fight against the Seven Mortal Sins. When Michael words hers in a way that he is very much ready, they notice omelette on her face. They wonder what kind of training she had with her Messiah. Michael gets embarrassed and feels bad for lying. Wait a minute. Is lying part of the virtue?! Anyway she admits the omelettes taste so good she ate it multiple times. Then there is some big boobs argument between Sandalphon and Gabriel, both of whom have the smallest boobs among the pack. It ends with Gabriel losing. After finishing changing, the Heavenly Virtues return to heaven and Michael even hints they might come to your town. After seeing this, I’m not so sure now…

God Help Us All!
There you have it. From the looks of it, is it no wonder and surprise that I am expecting Lucifer to kick all of their asses and make heaven to fail and fall spectacularly?! Seriously. Even the so called chosen Messiahs would run away crying like a baby or even switch to the dark side! No wonder this spin-off series is so short. There is only so much fun you can put into the good side and anything more you will be looking more like the part of the devil. Oh wait. I have a feeling this series was devilishly bad. That’s like, it is bad enough that it is good and good enough to be bad. Damn I’m just so confused.

For those who have watched the first original series, watching this one in a way makes you think that you can’t really tell between the forces of light and darkness. Yup, the characters here look like busty cosplay dressing sluts than anything you would want to admire at first sight. That’s why it doesn’t make any difference if you are a Mortal Sin or a Heavenly Virtue because both of them look pretty slutty the same. Sure, such characters are designed with the male demographics in mind. Because it feels as though if they aren’t this busty, sexy or scantily clad, nobody would really become their followers. Uh huh. Sex sells. Even God’s angels know about this trick.

Hence the characters themselves are pretty much shallow. With not enough screen time and the plot which is close to nothing (trying to find a Messiah feels more like an excuse than a real plot or anything), thus the Heavenly Virtues are more likely to be portrayed as corrupted sluts that will corrupt further the mind of their chosen Messiah instead of turning him into a powerful fighting ally. Hence the damn irony that the Mortal Sins have more character than our slutty angels. Heck, Michael who had this sneaky b*tch wolf in sheep’s clothing character impression in the original series, she becomes another one of those dumb slut characters which is just shocking. Talk about fall from grace. No wonder Michael eventually lost to Lucifer. Yeah, the characters are more of fanservice tools for the fans in this case. Sad to see the Heavenly Virtues’ reputation get corrupted like that.

Yeah, it is fanservice galore when you know you’re going to have lots of boob shots, panty shots and crotch shots laced all over the short series. Yeah, and jiggle them as much as they can because what else are they going to do with such huge jugs anyway? Like as though it is the time limit for you to fap or something. It is most evident with Sariel being the bustiest of the lot. So much so I won’t blame anyone for mistaking her as some sort of succubus or demon of seduction. And for you S&M fans out there, that is why Metatron exists because of her other dark personality to whip your ass. Bonus points for those who have nurse fetish. You see, these Heavenly Virtues are supposed to play out their virtue that they represent but they end up making a bad name of their represented goodness. Is this misrepresentation? Some to a point that could even kill! Don’t worry, nobody was killed in the search of a Messiah. Perhaps only their humanity. Thanks angels for ruining our lives.

But seriously, having a misguided angel coming down to fanservice you thinking you are the chosen one? Some logic there. Oh yeah, like we horny otaku guys care. Hey, angel babe says I’m the one. Who am I to argue, right? Then I baulk at the first real test with Lucifer. Haha. What a joke it will be. What a tarnished reputation God and his heavenly angels would have. Uh huh. I can see why people would start to lose their faith then… Heck, even all the so called Messiahs that our angels chosen don’t even have a proper face! And most of them look confusingly the same so I thought they were the same lucky bastard guy being serviced by all of them. When their backgrounds don’t match, it is only then I realize they are different guys. Yeah, even the angels can’t coordinate themselves to find their Messiah. Oh yeah, just cast their net far and wide and hope they hit one. At this rate, I see they’re getting none. Didn’t they go back to heaven empty handed?

Among all the angels, the worst and annoying one I consider is Gabriel. This irritating little loli loves to virtue signal but thanks to her being the noisiest among the character, she somewhat stands out. Not in a good way in my books, though. So does being the representative for chastity allow you to annoy others and make you like a loli b*tch? Maybe keeping the chastity and not let your libido go is the source of her irritating character. If I have to point out the ‘best’ angel, I would say it is Raphael. At least her story. Unlike the others that is reduced to some fanservice slutty nonsense, Raphael’s story is the only that is pretty decent and at least touched my heart because she had the decency to know about her Messiah’s true wish and potential and let him go to his true calling. Now this is what I call a (almost) true angel. Too bad we don’t get this sort of story with the other characters.

Voice acting sounds pretty okay. Nothing special. Just a special little shout out to Hiyori Nita (Mai in Marchen Madchen) for making her Gabriel character sounding annoying. Good job in the sarcastic sense, that is. The other voice casts for the other Heavenly Virtues are Yumi Uchiyama as Michael (Momiji in Binbougami Ga), Lynn as Raphael (Maya in Sabagebu), Asami Seto as Uriel (Chihaya in Chihayafuru), Shiori Izawa as Sandalphon (Pina in Sword Art Online), Ari Orizawa as Metatron (Nozomi in The Rolling Girls) and Sakura Nakamura as Sariel (Rachnera in Monster Musume No Iru Nichijou). The ending theme, Psychomania by Yousei Teikoku is surprisingly a devilish good song. Even if the irony of its devilish sounding hard punk rock style, it really sounds addicting in a way. It also feels it is a song suitable for a battle when both sides clash.

Overall, if you think Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai was bad (although personally I thought it was sinfully good and enjoyable), this horny fanservice mess makes it even worse. It could even ruin your faith in God! All because of the sleazy fanservice and ‘plot’. Like as though this was a ploy to destroy your faith in the first place for all of you who still go to Sunday church. Yeah, this is how WEAK your faith in Him is in the first place. Now we all know who to blame if Lucifer ever defeats Almighty Himself and his angels in no time. The fastest heaven and hell war in the history of histories. Yup, blame Bridge the production studio who wanted to animate this. Because ironically it was Artland and TNK doing Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai so it felt like Bridge (Mitsudomoe, Devil Survivor 2 The Animation) wanted to do some quick cash grab and hence you get this fanservice ridden blasphemy. God took 7 days to create the world and all. This series took about 40 minutes to destroy it all. Goddamn I want to jump ship and join Lucifer’s faith and devote my soul to her!

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