Puni Puni Poemy

December 9, 2011

Well, although I could vaguely remember the hilarious out-of-this-world nonsensical comedy Excel Saga, I don’t know why it took me ages to watch its supposed sequel spin-off, Puni Puni Poemy. In this 2 episode OVA, that afro guy known as Nabeshin has married that crazy waitress named Kumikumi who was always chasing him across the globe just to get him to taste her soup. Oh yeah. How nostalgic. Sure brings back memories. They have a daughter called Poemi “Kobayashi” Watanabe. She calls herself Kobayashi because of that joke that she can’t really get into her character (for your information, Yumiko Kobayashi is her voice actress). Plus she calls her dad Director simply because in real life, Shinichi Watanabe AKA Nabeshin directs this show. See, breaking the fourth wall already. But the thing about Poemi is her energetic, hyper-active, non-stop talking girl. If your ears are not ‘strong’ enough, they may start bleeding from all her incessant yapping. You have been warned. But that’s what makes this show funny. And yeah, as a magical girl genre, Poemi can transform into one whom I shall refer to as Poemy. Note, same pronunciation but different spelling. It’s easier that way.

Episode 1
The Mage Queen in her space magical tower is starting her plans to destroy Earth, tired of all those dishonest and giving-excuses humans. Magical girl heroine, Puni Puni Poemy fights her way to the top and confronts the Queen. She wants Poemy to answer what she is going to do with the world. That’s because she IS the Earth. Because that’s all that she has. Poemi glides down from rainbows, happy with her paper bags but gets rammed by a truck. Back home, she wakes up early much to her parents’ dismay, getting all fired up and ready to go to school early to prove that she has a point since nobody takes her seriously. She also hopes to get the attention of the boy she loves, K and makes breakfast till the kitchen explodes! Then she scoots her way to school in the pouring rain, ramming everything and even splitting a dog in half! In class, she thought she was the first, till she realized her friend Futaba Aasu is camping in class. Well, she spent the night in school to wait for her so that she could see her be the first to arrive in class (?!). Futaba offers to share her warm futon as Poemi gets naked. What they do underneath the blanket is left to our imagination.

In class, Poemi overdoes everything with passion. Even stabbing her thighs till it bleeds! Each time, Futaba finding her very wonderful. I guess when you like somebody so much, even the most ridiculous habit becomes wonderful. An alien (his tail-cum-balls is at his crotch area) finds Nabeshin’s house and the latter panics upon knowing he has been found out. Though they fight, Nabeshin is no match for Alien 1 (that’s what I’ll call him) even if he unleashes his multiple chibi afro guys. Yeah, Alien 1 can even catch his bullets! Poemi and Futaba walk home with the former lamenting about her one-sided love with K so Futaba thinks she should just give up on him. Then they see an explosion coming from Poemi’s house. They rush over to see the place decimated and Nabeshin and Kumikumi crucified. Poemi is distraught because she doesn’t want to be out of work or poor! There’s a little truth to that. Flashback reveals how she screws up in her work though Nabeshin and the staff continue to support her as she vows to work hard. Unfortunately, her parents died as she gives a symbolic loud cry over the cliff. Oh, what would she do now? She’s an orphan overnight. And only has 46 Yen in her purse. Haha! It’s 48 Yen by the way. Where did the balance go?

Futaba takes Poemi back to her house, which serves as the Earth Defence Headquarters. Looks like Poemi is going to start living here as she meet the other sisters. They are active Mitsuki, dominatrix Itsue, busty Shii (I guess she needs somebody’s head to rest her boobs on), Kansai-speaking Mutsumi, eldest sister Nanase and youngest sister Hitomi. Some sisters disagree of Poemi staying here so in a fast-forward debate-cum-discussion that ends in the entire house being destroyed, Poemi is unanimously voted to live with them. Everyone takes a bath together (because it’s a family tradition and for fanservice), when Hitomi goes into a trance saying that something is coming. The sisters are alerted since her predictions are never wrong. Thinking it’s a pervert, they find Alien 1 outside and beat him up. Next day, Alien 1 meets a masked kid (K) and the latter says with Nabeshin’s demise, nothing can stop them and it’s time to commence their operation. A giant robot lands over the city and starts rampaging. All the Aasu sisters leave their job or school to defend the Earth. Even Poemi tags along without knowing why and the teacher gave the green light! On her way she bumps into a large guy with a shamisen. She hears her dad’s voice and gives her a fish in case she needs to use it. By the way, it stinks. The Aasu sisters use their special moves but they were just useless. Earth Breakfall to fall safely? Earth Acceleration to run fast? Earth Healing to heal Earth? Oh, hear this one. Earth Dance of Flowers to summon a whirlwind of flowers… Well, they ARE Earth’s defence so it’s no surprise they don’t have any offensive attacks. Hitomi is up next as she pleads for it to stop invading Earth and in exchange she will give her life. But it falls on deaf ears as the robot continues firing. I’m not sure if Poemi’s back protected her from the flames. Well, looks like it. She gets mad for being fried so after hearing that shamisen guy and her dad’s voice, she gets this determination to protect the Earth. Yeah, partly to protect her dream to become a voice actress as well. She slices the fish to turn it into a magical wand and do her transformation into magical girl Puni Puni Poemy! However Poemy throws away the wand and decides to fight it with her bare hands as she races up the robot.

Episode 2
Poemy destroys the robot in 1 super punch, impressing the Aasu sisters. In some war zone whereby the soldiers could only speak words in fruits or vegetables, they make fun when Poemy arrives. She gets pissed off and drops a bomb, destroying not only the entire army but the whole country! The Aasu sisters watch Poemy’s destruction over the news and aren’t happy she’s getting cocky. They chide her not knowing that Poemi and the magical girl is the same person. Hey, why is Alien 1 living among them?! Even odd, K’s lower body is a flying saucer?! Poemi talks to him and I guess she’s being too talkative so he ignores her. Futaba is in despair seeing her best pal trying to get close to K. Poemy continues to get rid of all terrorists in a rowdy manner while the Aasu sisters continue to get annoyed even more by her crazy violence. Meanwhile Queen’s Death Star hovers near Earth. However she is taken out by Alien 2. Yeah, he has 2 tail-cum-balls… K is shocked to learn that his parents are alien. Yeah, he didn’t even realize his whole body is gradually turning into a tentacle alien. Poemy continues to wreak havoc across town, beating up people for the slightest misdeeds like littering and watching porn. The Aasu sisters can’t take more of this and confront her in action.

Back in the bath, they finally learn her true identity and bug her to show her transformation. I think they’re rather amazed of her soft “puni-puni” skin that could ‘stand up to nuclear attack. Then the sisters all start to fantasize their perverted wishes they could do with her. That night as Poemi and Futaba chat in bed, Futaba indicates she wants to ‘screw’ Poemi. However she is ‘saved’ by a phone call which turns out to be from the audition. She got so excited that she starts rehearsing her lines loudly, waking up everybody till morning. And then, she’s off to the audition. The Aasu sisters barely got enough sleep when they see a TV report that the Death Star is over Earth. They prepare to go into action but were captured by Alien 1 collaborating with Alien 2. For a suspicious alien hanging around them, they should’ve figured out something was wrong. Poemi is in the middle of audition but because of Futaba’s call and the tug of the ‘red string of fate’, she is forcibly ejected from her audition. Looks like the job will go to someone else. However Poemi ends up in front of K’s UFO-like house. She starts fantasizing some confession thingy and a kiss (yeah, even in her dream, she kissed his horse! No wonder K’s kiss tastes like a horse, haha). She is absorbed into his house which is blasted into space and ultimately the Death Star.

She is confronted with K in a poorly designed mask. Anybody can tell it’s him. Because of that, he reveals he is an alien and that his real name is Prince. Their purpose of invading Earth is that after doing some research and data gathering, they’ve found out that Earth’s women are very nice. He shows her a few samples of images he got from the internet! Fear net porn! Then he binds Poemi and she thinks he’s after her body. However he has no interest in her cheap body and shows her the kind of thing he is looking for. The Aasu sisters in bondage positions. With explosive boobs, maid outfits, spectacles and tentacles, he sounds more like a crazy pervert! Don’t you just want to grope and do naughty stuff with them? Well, if you use a little bit of your imagination, I’m sure you’ll be ‘satisfied’ with the several ambiguous fanservice montages. But the best entertainment among them all is Futaba. K digs her lovely face with broken looks in her eyes. He shows his true body made up of tentacles and asserts he hates voice actresses for no reason. He also hates flat chests, granny types and poor types (all Poemi’s traits). The reason he’s keeping Poemi alive is so that he could make Futaba’s existence even more despair. Then with lots of determination, Poemi breaks out of her chains and punches K.

K laments the story isn’t going his way. That’s when Alien 1 and Alien 2 reveal themselves to be Nabeshin and Kumikumi. Well, he did die but Kumikumi’s acupuncture skills resurrected him. Even if the storyline is falling into absurdity, it’s all okay because Nabeshin is after all the director. Make that GDW: Great Director Watanabe! Erm, doesn’t have a nice ring to it. However K mentions that even if he is the director, he can’t do anything without a scriptwriter since he ‘killed’ him. Don’t worry, he can draw storyboards to. Well, he’s the director so he can do anything he wants in his own show. Upon Nabeshin’s orders, Poemi transforms and combining with Futaba’s power, they blast away the Death Star. I guess the other Aasu sisters can even quip this is the last episode, they just break free of their ropes and cheer them on. Then everybody floats back like naked angels down to Earth. How is this even feasible or thinkable? Remember, Nabeshin’s the director. In the aftermath, the danger to Earth has passed, the aliens become good people, Nabeshin and Kumikumi continue to live and everyone is happy. Great ending. Who’s the director again? So Poemi, can you juggle protecting the Earth and become a voice actress at the same time. Nothing’s going to stop her alright. Lastly, we see Poemi continue to screw up her voice acting lines. With time running out, she tries to blab as much as she can. Sorry girl. No more screen/talk time.

S.T.F.U.
That’s what I really feel about Poemi! But don’t get the wrong idea. She is funny with her fast nonsensical talk but if not for the subs (my Jap is not that good lah, mind you), I don’t think I’d be able to catch all that she has to say. But I have to praise and hats off to Yumiko Kobayashi who really pulls off an incredible feat for talkative Poemi. I certainly can’t do that. For a moment, I didn’t even think that she was the voice behind Azuma in Yakitate! Japan or Black Star in Soul Eater. Not that I can recognize her voice in the first place. If you can’t get more of Yumiko Kobayashi, you’ll be glad to know that this series purposely puts in her real face especially during that opening sequence as she sings along with the theme. And that’s the final scene too she waves goodbye and squeezing in as much words as possible. Definitely I can’t be so outgoing like that. Thus congrats and really hats off to her.

The comedy here is of course very nonsensical and a reminiscence of Excel Saga. Breaking the fourth wall whenever possible which includes telling viewers about buying the DVD, the fanservice you’ll get and even bringing in real life people like voice actresses Kotono Mitsuishi and Mikako Takahashi for a short cameo appearance. Note, both of them are the voice of Excel and Hyatt in Excel Saga respectively. So will Poemi get her dream of becoming a voice actress she yearns to be so much? Well, even in the anime she is considered to suck big time, but as I’ve said, in real terms her exuberant voice is amazing. So in this show, no. In real life, yes. Speaking of Excel Saga, some of the characters have that faint reminiscence to the characters in that series. For instance, Shii has that uncanny resemblance to Hyatt, only more bustier and doesn’t die every time she gets screen time. Then Mutsumi’s dress is somewhat similar to Excel Saga’s Ropponmatsu. But even if this series is made by the same people who made Excel Saga, everything else is worlds apart. No other characters (like that Lord Ilpalazzo trying to take over a meagre section of Japan), no trademark approval of some genre by the series’ creator and no side stories. What do you expect with just a couple of episodes?

If you expect anything to make sense, then you should be disappointed. That’s because as forewarned, this is going to be a very comical and nonsensical. So even if the crush turns out to be a perverted pathetic alien or the world can be saved by a bunch of useless defensive force sisters (amazingly with no offensive powers, Earth is still free from any invasion till now), be sure to leave your brain at the doorstep when you watch this and remember to take it back after finishing. Even if the serious opening sequence of Poemy facing off with the Queen do not really connect anywhere and later on the latter getting owned easily by another, it’s just part of the randomness this series has to offer. After all, you know who the director of this show is, right? Everything also can! Anything goes! If this series had more episodes, I’m sure he’d add more silly things for the sake of making us laugh. Speaking of the Aasu sisters, I later found out that their surname is a place on the word ‘ass’. So I guess it gives a new hilarious meaning if your sister is in a pinch and you go pleading “Please save my Ass!”. Besides, the sisters have that weird Earth Defence pose. First, do a ‘V’ sign with both your hands. While saluting with one hand, put the other hand over your crotch… At that point, I thought they were going to do some Michael Jackson dance. I guess this sisterly bunch is just to provide fanservice to cater to all sorts of perverted fetishes. Besides the comedy, at times the scenes may be a little too bloody especially when Poemi is involved.

There are a handful of trivia to spot. Don’t expect to be filled to the brim with them anyway. Just enough to make you notice and if you know your animes well, you’ll sure be able to spot that Dragonball reference back in the Aasu’s reference or that lame GTO pun Nabeshin tried his hands on. Then it’s miss-if-you-blink for cameo appearances of Menchi (that dog saved as emergency food in Excel Saga) and Excel Saga’s series’ creator. If your Japanese numerals are good, then you’d be able to spot that the Aasu sisters’ names are based on numbers 1 to 7. Being a defender of Earth and a voice actress seems like a tough job. But in reality, many voice actors and actresses hold other jobs to boost their earnings. So I guess you’d be poor like Poemi if you only aspire to be a voice actress. However there’s a way to ensure that one can achieve your dream of being a voice actor/actress and be rich too. Just put Nabeshin as the director and you’ll be guaranteed of a happy ending! Haha. Maybe I should STFU for now.