Sob! Sob! SOB!!! SOB!!! Boo hoo!!! I’m crying because I am both happy and sad. Happy that Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Psycho No Aisatsu special has finally been subbed! At the same time I’m a very sad panda because this is going to be the last Milky Holmes episode ever!!! NOOOO!!!! Oh no! OH NO!!! Milky Holmes my dearest, we’ve been together hot and cold throughout the years. Together with your silly antics and dumb retard actions. I thought we’d always be together. Sob, sob. I thought we will always go on forever like how the way things are. Sob, sob. But now, looks like reality has smacked us in the face. It is time to graduate. Time to move on. Sob, sob, sob… And hence this final graduation episode that did a crossover with that Cardfight Vanguard anime, we’re going to see how well you have grown into great detectives. Sob, sob, sob… Oh, I just can’t take it anymore. I just can’t… *Continues to bawl like a baby*.

Down memory lane…
Oh my. Milky Holmes really doing an impressive run with their detective work and putting dumb useless G4 to shame? Uhm, that’s how it should be? Well, okay. Arsene hears Milky Holmes talks about wanting to graduate. Hence she is in a dilemma as she ponders if it is still too early for them but nevertheless, she will give them a final test to prove their worth. Thus Phantom Thief Empire steals a precious card from Aichi Sendo (that protagonist from Cardfight Vanguard). She has left a message for Milky Holmes and is waiting for them to show up but it is Feathers who pop up instead. I guess they need to get some fame too and asked Milky Holmes for permission. Go ahead, girls! And with that… Feathers get brutally owned by Arsene! Don’t waste my time! Poor Feathers return to report to Milky Holmes and with some memories thingy blabbing from Sherlock, I guess they’re taking up the case. So as part of the memory lane trip, they pass by several places they have been before in search of Arsene. Finally they stumble into Arsene and her men. Time for some epic fight. Remember how Twenty can shoot his nipples like projection? Somehow he lost a rock-paper-scissors fight to Cordelia. And why is Hercule holding Stone River’s sword? She acts like a girl being stalked so that’s enough to defeat him. Nero summons the cats to lick on Rat. I guess that works too. The real epic showdown between Arsene and Sherlock… Interrupted by some memories thingy. Suddenly Kokoro intercepts to handcuff Arsene. OMFG! Stupid Kokoro just usurp and took all the credit? I guess she and her G4 are being dumb obnoxious cocky lying b*tches that she agrees to just get arrested by them. Laugh while you can, Kokoro… Badmouth Milky Holmes all you want, Kokoro… Because Milky Holmes seems to be taking all this well and in good spirits. Ah well. Time to go home. Meanwhile G4’s HQ is being decimated as Arsene easily destroyed and broke her way out. Not laughing anymore now, eh? Kokoro is the most badly bruised but don’t worry, Irene still loves how cute you look.

Milky Holmes is summoned to the hall and looks like it is really graduation for them. Henriette rolls in their final task. Uhm, does this bomb disposal task look familiar? If they manage to stop the bomb in one minute, a surprise also awaits them. Spoilers: Past characters in the series are waiting behind the door to congratulate them. And so we see Milky Holmes being f*cking confident in doing this. So much so they start off by singing a song!!! 5 seconds left to go… They easily use their toys to disarm the bomb and take the envelope within. Oh my. They are truly competent! Inside the envelope contains their graduation certificates. But why is Milky Holmes looking sad and disappointed? Actually when they talked about graduation, they meant graduating from their attic dorm. Oh my. Henriette feels so embarrassed that she was the one that misinterpreted the situation. What now? She goes to tell all those past characters that the surprise party is cancelled. Go home. Get out. Scram! And they came so far for this… And so Henriette graduates them from the attic dorm. We see this is all a plan by Mori Arty to move them out. Not sure if she is going to stay here now but she is definitely keeping it clean. Milky Holmes each have their own rooms. Sleeping comfortably? Not quite. Because they all gather and sleep together like the crammed style they are so used to. Nothing like the old times. With Milky Holmes becoming competent detectives to chase after Arsene, uhm, maybe some things don’t change too since they are still clumsy…

Milky Holmes: Homey Homecoming
Oh really? That was it? Sure they aren’t going to pull off a fast one and prank us that there will be another special by the end of this year? You sure about that? Not trying to do Gintama style of trolling and keep long time fans like yours truly surprised and happy? No? I guess this is it then. Time to really, really, really face reality. So this final Milky Holmes special really does hit the feels as we see the typical clichés that really made the Milky Holmes franchise funny and cute as we know them. Of course there was one season where it was really serious and truly competent Milky Holmes (there was also that Alternative alternative) but as far as this final special is concerned, they balance it all out. What I mean is that Milky Holmes still maintain their retard ways but they are not as much as a retard before and they have shown to have control over their Toys now. I believe that Arsene too was feeling sad to see that Milky Holmes graduated. That is why when she head they aren’t really into graduating from school, you can feel that she heaved a sigh of relief and kicked out those past characters. Well, Milky Holmes will still be doing detective work after graduation but being in school, this means Arsene can continue to play as their mentor and guide them as Henriette. So yeah, maybe after being so long with them, I don’t think Arsene really wants to say goodbye so suddenly like that. Let’s keep the status quo for now, shall we?

This special might not be able to incorporate everything that would make us feel totally nostalgic about Milky Holmes because otherwise it would have been a recap episode. Hence it is nice to see some of the things making their short cameo like those characters and places. G4 is also much welcomed with their cameo especially dumb IQ boasting Kokoro who is still as obnoxious and bratty as ever. It is amazing G4 haven’t got fired yet. Nice for Feathers to also make their cameo but so as not to steal the limelight from their senpai, I guess it’s too bad they had to get some beat down. Mori Arty still mysterious in her agenda and all but she could be just a normal girl for all we know. Initially I thought Milky Holmes was going to have some card-like fighting theme like Yugioh, because you know, Cardfight Vanguard crossover. But this feels more like a side distraction and they could have taken other themes like Pokemon’s Pikachu getting kidnapped or some device from Digimon gets stolen whatsoever. So the only running joke to remind us about this crossover is the fact that Milky Holmes cannot remember Aichi’s name and spout it out totally as a different name altogether. Only Hercule remembers but nobody listens…

It is really sad and it really hits the feels in the heart when the ending theme, Soshite Gunjou Ni Toketaiku by Milky Holmes is such a sweet and lovely ballad. So sweet and lovely that it almost sounds like a song that is played at high school graduation ceremonies! Oh damn. Here I was holding back my tears and then they had to play this song? You really want me to bawl over mah dummies?! I mean, my detective angels?! Oh well. Sherlock, whatever crap you said about those memories thingy, I don’t really remember nor understand, but I think I kinda know what it means for a long running (technically) series to have its final send off episode. It is sad that it has ended but also remember, be happy for all the antics and fun that they have brought to us in almost 10 years span. And so the opera curtains finally draw to a close. Thank you, Milky Holmes. Thank you for everything. Eyes getting blurry, nose getting stuffy, voice getting croaky… I think I need another pack of tissues…

On a trivial note, I wonder why this special is named as Psycho No Aisatsu, literally meaning, a psychotic greeting. Hmm… Could it be a play on the word saikou (the greatest)? Either way, Milky Holmes has always greeted us in the most Milky Holmes of fashion and with this final, it is rather Psycho No Sayonara (a psychotic goodbye) AKA Saikou No Sayonara (the greatest goodbye). Once again, thank you Milky Holmes.

Tantei Kageki Milky Holmes TD

November 28, 2015

OH YEAH!!! THEY’RE BACK!!! It is good to know that our adorable dummies detectives are back for a third season (fourth, if you considered that side spin-off as the third). Therefore I couldn’t really wait to get my hands on Tantei Kageki Milky Holmes TD seeing the ‘amazing’ kind of track record they have. Oh yeah. Milky Holmes. The name that rings shame and disgrace for true detectives all around the world in real life or fiction but brings joy to all those who enjoy their silly antics (like yours truly) as they stumble their way to become the world’s greatest detectives. And I hope they’ll take many more years for that. Haha! So, will they become True Detectives or will they become Totally Dummies at the end of it all? Isn’t that what TD is supposed to mean? Oh heck, I can’t wait any longer. Bring on mah dummies!

Episode 1
Fans are enjoying the idols’ performance when suddenly they cannot sing anymore! Even baffling is that all records of their voice are missing from CDs, tapes, files, etc. Could this be the job of a phantom thief? Phantom Thief Empire? Well, a personal call from Arsene reveals they don’t steal music. And so Kokoro takes it upon herself to find the culprit before her eternal rivals Milky Holmes does. She and her partner, Keiko are now suspecting Marine Amagi who is the most popular idol in the country now. Especially her Song of Miracles which is billed as the top song ever. As explained by her Producer and Manager, Marine possesses Toys that allows her Elements to take physical form. They have the ability to attract people who listen to it. As Marine has been singing this song with her Elements since young, there is no way she could be the culprit. Further observation on Marine shows that she is a kind hearted person among her peers. During her live concert, the same tragedy strikes. How can somebody steal her ability right in front of all the cameras and fans? In fact, all of her Elements have been stolen too. Feathers thought they can help but here comes those bumbling Milky Holmes! They know who the culprit is! Who?! KAZUMI???!!! WTF?! She is arrested and sent to prison! Meanwhile Marine’s fortunes turn for the worst. As she cannot sing, she retired and started appearing in variety shows but that itself didn’t make her go anywhere. Manager thought she should do something else but Marine has always bent on only becoming a singer. That is why she will swallow her pride and quit. I don’t know if Kokoro is making a joke because she says if Marine retires, she’ll arrest her?!

Then Milky Holmes pop up to announce that Manager is the real culprit behind this. She forced Marine into a corner and stole her confidence. Something about this lovely figurine of poor Marine that will be selling like hot cakes. Wow. So cute. Let me have one! Ahem… Manager shows her true colours but even surprising is Melodia, one of the Elements popping out from her cleavage. Melodia then challenges them to play a game with her. In this alternate dimension, if they win, they can have Marine back or else she will stay here with Melodia forever. So in this silly obstacle race, Milky Holmes do all they can to win it. Don’t even ask about that silly logic because Manager had bigger boobs that makes her float so the rest sting themselves to ‘inflate’ certain parts and do the same. In the end, Sherlock wins in. Kokoro is about to arrest Manager but Melodia says it is not her fault. When Elements were stolen from Marine, they were sucked into the person closest to them. Melodia couldn’t understand why but she felt she wanted Marine all to herself. Manager admits she did try to push Marine hard and because of those feelings it made Melodia go berserk. With Melodia returning to Marine, they notice her voice returns a little. This means if they gather back all her other Elements, she’ll regain her voice again. When Marine lost her Elements and Song of Miracles, she gave up but Milky Holmes taught her never to do that. Wait a minute. Those bungling detectives teaching somebody lessons in life? OMG. The world is going to end?! Yeah, they don’t even remember the incident where they lost their Toys, live in an attic and all those shameless stuffs…

Episode 2
Kazumi is finally freed from prison… See how much life it took out from her? You better sincerely apologize you Dopey Holmes! So they discuss about the other Elements. As Melodia points out, it is impossible for them to live outside humans so they must have been absorbed and living in other people. This confirms it. Kokoro is a big fan of Marine and is drooling while watching her video. Pink Lovely Doom appears before her. Oh God. It is that IQ bragging running joke… Pink Lovely Doom knocks her out. Not so smart now, are you? Milky Holmes thinks the culprit is the one who is jealous of Marine’s songs. Her idol mates are the prime suspects. Holy cow! Manager has brought hundreds of them here! How many of them exactly in this band? They wanted a million members… And Sherlock starts accusing one by one they are the culprit. Damn clones… Producer has a dubbing job for Marine. She accepts the monster voicing role but fellow idol Senna is not pleased because Marine already lost her voice and she hasn’t been fired yet. Does she think doing a movie will help her return? Sorry but Senna won’t help her. Instead, Miki Hojou would gladly help out Marine. Haven’t finished accusing yet, Sherlock? As they head for the audition, suddenly this idol gate crashes. Mayu Hanasaki looks suspiciously like Kokoro… She sings her Perfect Song in which it is so perfect that Dummy Holmes give her a perfect score. Even dumber as they are, they think this weird mascot, Capriccio is an Element. She badmouths Marine cannot sing but since Mayu’s beeper is beeping like Ultraman’s low energy warning, it’s time to go. Later as Milky Holmes try to have Marine name all her Elements (obviously she can’t because there are so many of them), Marine feels sad because she doesn’t want to go back to a place where she is not remembered.

And so the final showdown for the audition pits Marine and Mayu in a wrestling ring. Nero becomes the commentator while the rest are Marine’s assistants. Mayu unleashes some handshake power but Cordelia knows how to counter it. Now she fights back with some handmade sweets move to put Mayu out of commission. She is about to target Capriccio but Marine feels pity. In this distraction, Cordelia is owned as Capriccio reveals about the dog-eat-dog-world in show business. Survival of the fittest. Might is right! Marine becomes mad. Idols don’t need power. They need love. And she’ll prove it to her. She transforms into some Sailormoon spoof and with her Idol Shoulder Fist punches Pink Lovely Doom out of the Capriccio costume. Shocked that she is not an Element? Well, she never said she was one. She reveals that her goal is to find the phantom thief who stole Marine’s Elements. For that phantom thief to do that means they must be powerful. It is now a race to see who will find that phantom thief first. With Pink Lovely Doom gone, Mayu’s mask falls off and everyone recognizes her as Kokoro. No memories of what happened? Well, at least Marine wins the audition. Stronger and motivated, she vows to reclaim all her Elements and won’t give up. That’s the spirit. During the monster dubbing sequence, she tries her best to roar but sounds so meek and cute. Can she muster up a real roar? RAAAAWWRRR!!! OMG! She sounds like the real deal!!!!!!!!

Episode 3
Marine and Miki are in some curry promotion shoot. But she has to do several retakes. Getting sick of curry? Milky Holmes has no decency to even try their own curry in front of her. When Producer mentions about some shrines job, Marine instantly accept it. Milky Holmes doesn’t have to come but they insist. Why do they look like they’re here to have fun? It gets worse when Manager screws up their timing because they missed the flight. You don’t think they are here early because their flight is supposed to be at 1pm and now it is 3pm. 10 hour wait? You’re freaking late! No choice, they start trekking through the desert. They miss the only bus whose frequency is only once a day. Milky Holmes starts becoming idiotic as they continue their misadventures. Even more annoying is how they sleep talk about how rich they are. I can understand why Marine is so freaking upset if they are really here to protect her. Yeah, she can’t really believe these girls are detectives. When they reach a local Indian-like city, they learn the prince has some sort of obsession for curry and those who do not satisfy him will be imposed very big tax. First thing Milky Holmes does? Let’s go eat! Can’t work on an empty stomach! But they become scared seeing this magma curry and start pushing it around. Now you see their true colours, Marine? You have every right to be upset and walk out! Dummy Holmes doesn’t want the curry to waste and start licking the ground!!! ALL TOO FAMILIAR!!! Their curry is more important that they realize too late Marine is gone.

Marine conducts her own investigation but the guards capture her and throw her in the dungeon before the prince pops up with some business with her. Milky Holmes sneaks into the palace easily since the guards are pretty occupied in catching a pair of phantom thieves intruding the place. They are Feathers and this is just a diversion. You think those guards care if they are detectives or thieves? Stick ‘em up! With Cordelia’s Toys, they manage to trace Marine in the prince’s throne room. Marine is surprised to hear that Milky Holmes is here to save her and she feels bad for abandoning them. It seems the prince is possessed by the Harmony twins from Elements. As usual, another game on. The one who can make the best curry wins. Milky Holmes gathers the ingredients but because Nero wants to use the sacred cow meat, she gets chopped off! There goes her appearance for the rest of this episode. After both sides finish, the prince starts tasting. The usual super exaggerated effects when he tastes the Harmony twins’ dish. No reaction from Milky Holmes so does this mean the Harmony twins won? Surprised! He announces Milky Holmes as the winner! But why? He lets Marine tastes it and she could taste all the hard work Milky Holmes put in. She realizes this effort was because they never gave up on her. The Harmony twins reveal the prince was not at fault as they were attracted to his power and passion for curry. Of course his strong feelings for it mean they went berserk. The Harmony twins return to Marine and the prince is kind enough to lend his private luxury jet for them to return. They can’t help feel somebody is missing… Oh Nero…

Episode 4
Marine and Milky Holmes get lost in the forest while trying to find a hotel. Don’t ask. Milky Holmes see an old lady passing and thinks there must be a cottage nearby and rushes straight to her. But they end up in a mansion of a lady named Sakiko Kinumiya who claims she has been living here all by herself. She asks for Marine’s autograph since she is a big fan of hers. Actually she is a fan of one hit wonders. Milky Holmes misinterprets what that means and seeing they can live the luxury life, they agree to work for Sakiko by getting all 88 stamps. So we see them participate in variety game show challengers against other one hit wonders in Sakiko’s amusement park. Meanwhile Sakiko and Marine watch them on TV as Sakiko praises the perfect one hit wonder Marine is. However Marine doesn’t want to be that and wants to continue to sing. This irks Sakiko so she imprisons her in an iron helmet trying to brainwash her. Milky Holmes is on a winning streak but have to face a video arcade master. The one who scores the most points in 3 minutes wins. Nero thought she can do a better job but when she realizes she is lagging behind and tries to use her Toys to change the scoring system, it shuts down and reboots. Game over? Suddenly Feathers drop in to help. They claim their chipmunk teeth are magical accessories that allow them to beat any game. Don’t worry. Their hand is so fast that the score keeps adding up at incredible speed to make a comeback win! Milky Holmes wins! Now they need 1 more stamp. Unfortunately nobody knows who the 88th person is since there are only 87 of them. Have they been cheated? Oh, but here comes Sakiko to introduce Marine as her newest one hit wonder member. Suddenly Shout, one of the Elements pops out from Sakiko. They’re going to play a quiz game about rock. I don’t know. They have to choose between food and daily items. What do they have to do with rock? I don’t understand Shout’s explanation either… Oh heck, was it supposed to make sense? In the end, it is a draw. Milky Holmes gets their final stamp and is happy to join Marine in her luxurious one hit wonder life. However Marine has been trying to fight against this. She doesn’t want it to end here and wants to continue singing. Her determination is so great that she breaks out from her iron helmet. She is emitting a light brighter than any one hit wonder. The light of a true star! Shout is impressed with her enthusiasm and returns to her. It is revealed that Sakiko wanted to test Marine’s talent to see if it’s real or not. But thanks to it, Marine knows what she wants now. But Sakiko’s obsession with one hit wonders is true. Because she used to be one and wished that moment could last forever. She kept it all in her amusement park.

Episode 5
Marine will be starring alongside Carol Dodgson in Spygirl 4. Producer thought it will be a good opportunity to show the world she can do more than just sing. However the director sees them and there is a threatening letter to Carol. She is a total b*tch, badmouthing Milky Holmes for not being serious as her bodyguards (because Nero asked for her autograph) and she doesn’t want to be friends with Marine. I guess when you’re a big child star like her, you don’t want to mix with have-beens. Later the director reveals Carol is on the edge right now as today is her birthday but she hates celebrating and wants to continue working. It has been hard for her to work with adults and she doesn’t have friends her age. Milky Holmes didn’t know they are to play stunt doubles and get into trouble in the forest, running into a bear and falling off a cliff. But it seems Milky Holmes isn’t goofing around. The autograph Nero got, they have analyzed it and realize the perpetrator is the same. Shortly, Kokoro is called to the scene because the director receives another threatening letter. Milky Holmes has Carol follow them into the forest. Suddenly Sherlock points a gun at her and tells her she is their hostage! What gives?! Then they got hide in some cave as Feathers give them some delivery goods. Milky Holmes happily dancing around the bonfire? Marine is sorry for what is happening to Carol although she has no clue what Milky Holmes is up to. Carol scorns her for losing her ability to sing. She’d rather die than go through that. Looking at Marine pisses her off because it reminds her of her future self. She grabs the gun to fire a warning shot but it’s fake. Turns out this is a surprise birthday party Milky Holmes planned. Carol is not happy. She doesn’t want to celebrate. Milky Holmes is puzzled that she wrote a threatening letter to herself. They think she has been working so hard every day and can’t make friends or even celebrate her birthday.

She admits she did write that letter but it’s not because she doesn’t want to work but to ensure her status as an eternal star. She was going to disappear forever after filming but now she’ll take all of them along with her. Then one of the Elements, Rhythmic pops out. In this wonderland dimension, Rhythmic explains time stops here because Carol doesn’t want to grow up. As she is a child actress, she’ll be worthless when she grows up. Marine argues she is wrong and this isn’t what Carol wants. She doesn’t want Rhythmic to steal her happiness. Rhythmic decides to play a game and if they win, they can have her back. So they’re playing a game of jenga. Milky Holmes is going to lose on their turn when Sherlock hypnotizes Cordelia to be a block. It fooled Rhythmic so when it is Carol’s turn, Cordelia is hypnotized back to normal and the blocks crumble. In the aftermath, Rhythmic points out Carol is not the phantom thief. She felt scared that if she can’t be with Marine, she can’t make people happy. Same for Carol. She feared of growing up and relied on Rhythmic. After Rhythmic returns to Marine, Carol talks to her that she often listened to her Song of Miracles when she is going through hard times. That is why she had the director casted her in this movie. But for Marine, after seeing how Carol placed priority in her acting, she realizes she didn’t give her singing the same importance. Therefore no matter how hard it gets, she wants to go back singing. Carol requests for her autograph by Marine can’t give it to her now. Not at least she can sing again. But they can be friends. Kokoro then arrests Milky Holmes because they wrote a dumb threatening letter to pay them a year’s supply of fish cakes and bananas. Yeah, who else could write such a joke?

Episode 6
It must be a bad day for Kokoro. She is sick but still has to go to work since her G4 pals are also out sick. Worse, Milky Holmes is here to visit! Not enough energy for a retort? Keiko suggests cancelling their traffic safety course but Milky Holmes would gladly help out. So they do a poor impersonation of G4 and I don’t think they’re fooling anyone. The kids are not impressed. Even the old guy (who is Arsene in disguise) tells them to do it properly! Milky Holmes sees Producer and the rest watching a video. Did Marine upload a video? No. This is an impersonator. Despite the butt hurt comments, this video has 7 billion views! At this rate she will become more famous than the real one. Sherlock knows who the culprit is. It is Miki! What kind of joke is this?! Thanks to this commotion, Marine finds out about this. Sad girl. Milky Holmes gets cracking on the case. Nero calls Feathers to help find out about Nerima Tenkujo, the one who uploaded the video. They finally discover her location. Despite looking like a duplicate of Marine, she is just a plain girl without all that makeup and accessories. Seems Nerima is a big fan of Marine and believes she must make more videos for her. Besides, she is not doing anything illegal and the site she uploads the videos have permission to use her music. The real Marine pops up and she believes it is not Nerima’s fault as it was herself who lost her Elements to begin with. Nerima starts talking crazy that since everyone has forgotten Marine ever since she lost her singing, she will become famous in her place. All her fans will love her in her place! Sherlock throws a tantrum that this will make Marine feel sad so Nerima throws down a challenge. She will upload a new video tomorrow. They will also upload a video and if they can get more views than hers in a week, she will delete the videos. If they lose, they will resign as detectives. They think being a video star is easy, huh? Well, Sherlock’s Kamaboko walking through a box only nets her double digits. Same case with the rest on filming whatever that was. At least Hercule got 10,000 views because she was unintentionally reading a fairytale in an erotic way! Plus, it was tagged as an adult video.

Nerima is glad those Dummy Holmes are no match for her. She has already amassed a billion views. But she sees the people talking about a new video that is all the rage. It is Marine dancing. Even more worrying is she has gotten over 900 million views. Nerima then decides to use her secret weapon. By pressing F5 key, she will refresh the page and add to the views! But nothing happens. That is when Milky Holmes caught her in the act. They have replaced her keyboard with all F5 keys! They knew she was the culprit after noticing her F5 key has been worn out. Nerima becomes upset. One of the Elements, Dancing pops out. Time for another battle. They thought it is going to be a dance battle but it turns out whoever can be a real boy wins. Dancing transforms Nerima into a girly boy to flirt with Nerima. Could have almost stole her heart had Milky Holmes not snap her out of it. Not it is their turn, Nero could have fitted the part well but they decided to pick on Hercule and turn her into a guy. That banchou outfit is so unconvincing. However Hercule makes her move. She isn’t just being a real boy. She is manly! Look at her Adam’s apple! Well, actually the cough cold deepened her voice since Hercule caught a little flu from Kokoro. Dancing admits defeat and returns to Marine. Nerima laments all she wanted was to support Marine. But Marine has learnt a valuable lesson from this. Idols need their fans to believe in them. Milky Holmes thinks they can make Marine more famous by uploading secret videos of her. You want to know why Marine is embarrassed and has had it with this worthless crap? It is a video of her sleeping. Aww… So cute…

Episode 7
The first thing Marine sees when she walks into office… Milky Holmes arguing among themselves… About lemon and friend chicken… I’ll spare you their argument details. Marine is disappointed because she thought they taught her about getting along at that Indian kingdom but this only puts oil on the fire. Because Nero remembers she was left behind and nobody cared! The argument intensifies… Later Marine talks to Miki about this and Marine is confident she won’t give up yet. That night as Nero goes to apologize to the rest, surprisingly they apologize first. Wow. Friendship back on track so fast. Next day, Nero has some weird rosy dream and when she is wakes up for a bodyguard job, she starts acting girly! Marine thought she could diffuse the lemon-fried chicken problem but to her shock, Milky Holmes doesn’t care about it anymore. What just happened? Milky Holmes will be Marine’s bodyguard as she heads to a TV drama set. She will be starring along with Hiroko Tenma whose beauty has never aged since 10 years ago. There are rumours she might be a vampire. Because so, they think Marine is in deep trouble to be her next victim. As they make their way to the set, they get horrified by Tenma coming out of the coffin. Useless Holmes minus Nero all fainted. Turns out the crew was just rehearsing. When Tenma looks at Nero, something between them click. Once the rest of Milky Homes wakes up, they are shocked to see Nero in a traditional Japanese outfit and she has agreed to become Tenma’s adopted child! It is because she looked like her child she lost a long time ago. Of course they are sad because this would mean the breakup of their partnership.

Of course Marine heard rumours from other staffs that they never knew she had a daughter. Manager heard another rumour that Tenma adopted a daughter 10 years ago but there was a boy she often took along with her to shootings but one day she stopped bringing him. Could it be she is really a vampire? When Milky Holmes goes to see Nero because they miss her (really), suddenly coming out from her is one of the Elements, Poemi. They are going to play a traditional Japanese quiz game. I don’t know how this one works but Nero is taking a great lead. Marine makes a comeback after getting that determined feeling. And then when she answers about being a true mother, Tenma as the host gives her maximum points for her to win the game. When Nero is back to normal, she genuinely apologizes to everyone. Everyone is getting emotional. Group hug! Poemi returns to Marine. Later it is revealed the rumours on Tenma were true. She did have a son and Nero looked very much like him. So she mistook Nero for a boy? The daughter she adopted 10 years ago was her maid. Tenma realizes she has been neglecting her and wants to restart as a true family. Her son somehow left and she treated her as his replacement. This time she’ll be her true daughter. Milky Holmes get brutally honest about Nero’s character and here we go again with their silly argument…

Episode 8
Kobayashi calls Milky Holmes that there has been another case of a stolen Element that is similar to the case they have been working on. This means Milky Holmes and Marine are off to London! They meet Oscar who may look like a pretty boy but is actually a woman. She comes from a family of making the finest tea and her only Element, Noblesse has been stolen on one stormy night. She has her butler, Andrew let them taste the tea. Although it is delicious, Oscar views it is not enough. Ever since Noblesse has disappeared, she couldn’t make the best tea anymore. She feels she doesn’t deserve to inherit the Duke of Twilight title and become the head of the family. Her aunt, Jeanne suggests giving that title up to her goofy son, Nicholas since he is a boy. But Professor Cline Nevalt, the famous tea critic believes that cannot be the case since Elements stay with those who are suited to be the next Duke of Twilight and gender has nothing to do with it. Milky Holmes gets cracking to find Noblesse. That night Marine sees Oscar and cheers him up with her Elements. He notes that having an Element is proof of talent. He felt that because Andrew was always there and tasted the tea for him. Marine mentions about his funny glasses so Oscar laughs. He explains Andrew used to play with her a lot but one day she had an accident and he saved her. This caused severe lost to his vision and if he doesn’t wear glasses he cannot see anything. When Marine goes back, a knight armour threatens the detective to take her friends back or else. But Cordelia comes to save the day as the armour runs away. She knows who the culprit is and calls everyone to gather.

Putting back the armour that was situated in the front hall that everybody can use, it seems only somebody small can fit into this. It couldn’t be Nicholas or Jeanne and the obvious person could be no other than… Cline! WTF?! This guy is wheelchair ridden, can’t you see that?! They believe he is faking his disability and egg him to stand up! Nope. Wrong deduction again! Cline now plays detective. He has Marine remember the knight’s words. He mistook her for a detective and miscalled her Hercule. It is obvious, isn’t it? It is no other than Andrew! So the butler did it, huh? He has to take off his glasses to don the tight armour. Noblesse then pops out from Andrew. She wanted to relieve Oscar of her burden. Now they’re going to play a game. If Milky Holmes can get out of this living maze, she’ll return to Oscar. They have a time limit and the maze can change. Cordelia sees some plant eating bugs in Cline’s hands and uses it to make the maze open a path to Oscar. Noblesse tries to stop them but Marine summons her Elements to make a beeline to reach the finish line. Noblesse reveals Andrew did not steal her. On that stormy night, she went to hide in him so as to relieve Oscar’s burden of being the next head. But Andrew feels responsible. He is always jealous of Oscar and Noblesse being together. He thought she would love him if Noblesse was gone. Oscar cannot believe this and fires him. After all these years and he doesn’t know her feelings. Oscar believes Noblesse chose him that night. Andrew hugs her, will quit has her butler and make her his wife. Everyone enjoying this romantic drama? At the back, it seems Cline can actually walk but he is Kobayashi in disguise.

Episode 9
Cordelia suggests using Ouija Board to help find the next Element. Wow. Is it really working? Because it point to some casino island and a new international casino branch to be opened by Scarlett Ohada. With the hospitality of the prince (Milky Holmes pigging out his curry meal), they make their way there and the moment they land, Sherlock is being struck by some android girl, Ann Gardy. They attend the opening ceremony as Milky Holmes uses Ouija Board to find the Elements but since it predicts numbers for them, Milky Holmes becomes greedy and starts gambling. Marine meets Miki who is here to do an opening gig. Marine then sees Milky Holmes being taken away because when their winning streak turns into losses, they start borrowing from loan sharks to repay their debt. And they kept losing… Noir the Black Dealer wants to play a game with Milky Holmes as instructed by Scarlett. They thought if they can beat her, the debts will be erased. Nope. Element Decrescendo pops out from Noir. If she loses, Decrescendo goes back to Marine otherwise Noir will take all of her Elements. First they play poker. Noir is confident her four-of-a-kind will win it since Milky Holmes only has weak hands. But she didn’t expect Marine to get a Royal Flush! Next game has cards with girls claiming they are 17. But one of them isn’t. Which? Marine is going with her guts but she accidentally sneezes and picks up another one. This proves to be the correct card. Wow. Such incredible luck. In the final game, Marine must walk across a panel in which certain tiles are loose. If she falls down, it’s game over. Noir believes she will lose because a column of tiles are all loose. However Marine jumps over and wins it. Marine and Milky Holmes hurry back as they want to catch Miki performing. Noir laments her failure to Scarlett. Although Scarlett says she has fulfilled her duty and was no match for her unnatural luck, Scarlett views Noir as useless and wants her to leave. This is her only home. Where is she to go? Not her problem. If you’re wondering where Ann has been all the time? She’s been playing the slots and has won buckets loads of chips! This is enough to repay Milky Holmes’ debts! Scarlett then makes a surprise announcement that there is going to be a wonderful show and needs Marine’s help. Once she goes up on stage, the roof opens and Marine is sucked up along with Scarlett into the ominous sky.

Episode 10
Noir explains Scarlett is now on the floating island that was once created by some super civilization. Scarlett has been strategically opening her casinos so that it could channel its power to this casino island to summon the floating island. There is a Levistone on that island with incredible luck that those who possess it will never have bad luck ever. Scarlett plans on ruling the world with it but to get that stone, you need incredible luck and who better than Marine has that. The catch is, in the process Marine’s psyche will be destroyed while Scarlett will be unharmed. But how are they going to get up there? Ann has a special dimensional hole inside her locket that will allow them to get there (the floating island is filled with flying sharks so it’s impossible to get close via plane). Ann reveals she is a guardian of that place and it is here duty to prevent any sort of awakening. Since a great effort of concentration of bonds is required to keep the hole open, Hercule, Nero and Cordelia stay back to let Sherlock, Miki, Noir and Ann float up. However Scarlett’s henchmen are here to break that concentration. Fear not. This is where Feathers comes in to help. Once on the floating island, Scarlett lets loose traps to keep the girls at bat. During a robot attack, Ann takes damage and it exposes her mechanical arm. Though, she can still function like normal. Once they reach the main room, Noir tries to convince her mother to let her find Levistone for her. However Crescendo the Element pops out from her. They deduce she has been attracted by Scarlett’s greed. Time to play a game. Sherlock and Scarlett engage in a Yugioh card game parody with nonsensical and crazy moves. Sherlock wins at the end but Scarlett continues attacking them. Shouldn’t Crescendo be back to them? They think Scarlett’s greed is so great that it is forcing to keep Crescendo by her side. Miki then uses a bold move to grab Crescendo away from Scarlett. Scarlett reverts to normal and Crescendo returns to Marine. Everybody leaves the island but Ann won’t. She will stay here and be on standby till her next mission. Sherlock is sad since they have already become friends. Ann says goodbye but Sherlock corrects her it should be see you again. Ann returns to her pod and goes into slumber mode while Sherlock with tears in her eyes holds Ann’s locket.

Episode 11
The media hounds Miki and ignores Marine. But something else bugs Marine. When Miki grabbed Crescendo, she noticed she used her Toys. Could it be? Because that phantom thief who stole Marine’s Elements popped up, Kokoro is upset that the media has such information and the police didn’t! My, slacking aren’t we? So she orders to do a search for all the people at the casino having Toys. Yeah. There are so many of them… Keiko stumbles upon Miki’s data and they see something… When Producer has a new song for Marine, she won’t sing it till she gets all her Elements back. Marine tells Milky Holmes about her mom who wrote the Song of Miracles. Though she passed away when she was 6 years old, it holds many memories. Milky Holmes suggests they look around places Marine went with her mom. So at the outskirts of a town where she used to live with her mom, Milky Holmes mistaken this landlady to be Marine’s mother! Weren’t they listening? Inside a closet, they see a scribble of Marine and her mom. Marine insists she didn’t draw that but they discover something shocking: Miki is also in that drawing. That is when Marine remembers Miki is a childhood friend and used to play a lot together. How could she have forgotten? Even more shocking news: Miki in a TV interview announces that she will be going solo and sing the Song of Miracles. So Marine returns to the city to confront Miki. Miki never said anything because Marine was a big star and hard to approach. Now that she remembers, Miki says the song belongs to them. Marine knows Miki is the one who used her Toys to steal her Elements. Miki admits her Toys is separation and uses her power on Marine to make her start back at square one again.

Miki is about to perform live on TV when Kokoro barges in to arrest her but is quickly restrained by the staff. Not even Milky Holmes can save the day. Who can then? Elements! How can this be? Although Miki broke their bonds once, Marine came back for them. Their bond has been revived and stronger than ever. Marine knows Miki has her final Element. After Miki transforms into her phantom thief form, out comes Amore. She is the one controlling Miki and the true perpetrator of everything. It all started when Marine and Miki first reunited. Amore hid inside Miki and controlled her. Amore believes that Song of Miracles is holding Marine back. This is the song that always got her back because Amore is the core of this song. As long as she has this song, she cannot overcome the obstacle before her and she wanted to set her free. Milky Holmes argues she is wrong because Marine never gave up. She is now much stronger than before. Marine proves that by singing Song of Miracles without any help. She thanks everybody for helping her. The Song of Miracles now does not belong to her alone. It belongs to everyone who loves it. After Marine and Miki reconcile, Amore notes she has matured and returns to her. This miracle snows down some light sparkles all over the world. Conveniently, Keiko uses her Toys to erase everyone’s memories so we are back at square one as they watch the live performance of Marine and Miki.

Episode 12
Miki has quit and with Marine making a comeback concert, lots of people are trying to book her to perform. Did Manager screw up and double booked her? Milky Holmes feels sad that their bodyguard job for Marine will soon be over. Don’t despair. She hasn’t forgotten about you dummies detectives. She sends them tickets to her concert. Kokoro is all geared up with all the stuffs to cheer on Marine. Only one problem: No ticket! Milky Holmes gets a call for a job that Pink Lovely Doom is on the loose. So they go chase her and I think they’ve got batteries lasting longer than the Energizer bunny since they run everywhere till Pink Lovely Doom feels Kokoro’s stress is gone and returns whatever counterfeit money plate to them. All that is left is Marine’s concert, right? If they don’t get another call for a job… Oh, the handphone rings… Trying to feign there is no such number? There is only one thing left to do: Milky Holmes, split up! So we have Sherlock chasing some piggy phantom thief, Cordelia helping an old man find his missing glasses in his mansion, Nero herding sheep and Hercule babysitting. Their job goes into overtime like Cordelia ending up cleaning the old guy’s mansion only to realize the glasses were on his head all along! Sherlock corners the phantom thief and her true identity is… Twenty! OMG! The pervert is back! Not just him. Stone River, Rat and Arsene too! Is Sherlock outnumbered? Her comrades finish their job in time to reunite and make this a fair fight. So we see the detectives and phantom thief duke it out as Marine concert gets underway. I don’t know how in a jam packed stadium, Marine can see that Milky Holmes didn’t turn up at their seats. Maybe she knows where they’ll be seating but do you know how big the stadium is? And Milky Holmes didn’t get the front seats… Milky Holmes’ battle has them take on giant Arsene (don’t even ask how this happen) and they combine their Toys to summon lightning to shrink her down to size (don’t even ask about this one too). Arsene is glad to see they have improved a little and decides to let them off for tonight (since Kokoro and the police are coming). But will Milky Holmes now make it for Marine’s concert? They thought it is over when they arrive but suddenly the place lights up again. Hey. Everybody waited for them?! Who are they? VIPs? Well, at least to Marine because she is thanking the super sleuths who helped her find what is most important to her. Wait a minute. Milky Holmes has a part to sing in Marine’s final song? Now guest artists, huh? And what better way to end it all with snippets of their past adventures together. How anti-climatic…

Elementary, My Dear Milky Holmes
Erm… Uhm… What… Well… Okay… If I had to sum up about this season in a couple of words, it would be toned down. Although Milky Holmes is generally silly but it seems they fare much better than in their previous seasons because they are not as dumb as they were when we first know them. I supposed we need to show how Milky Holmes have ‘grown up’ and graduated from their academy because you realize the setting isn’t in their Holmes Detective Academy. Teaming up with an idol to help recover her lost Elements may provide a little deviation from the usual formula of Milky Holmes cracking cases to catch phantom thieves or get back their Toys (the main goal in the first two seasons). However the format of Marine and the detectives going around to find Elements, meet different people, get into some trouble, get into some challenge, learn some valuable lesson (sort of) and having the Element coming back to Marine feels like a repetitive one. In fact, each episode almost felt like fillers although they are still connected. And that kind of ending… Must the most boring ever. Sing a song with an idol to close the season. Since when did Milky Holmes become a musical genre?

Sometimes I feel that because of how less funny it was, it sometimes makes the overall story and for each episode feeling somewhat forced and if I should say, a little boring. I mean, don’t you just feel the irony that the world’s best idol is only able to sing thanks to her little Elements? Sure, it is to showcase her ‘journey’ of learning some lessons in friendship, trust, love (and anything else you can add here) but I hardly doubt that those who watch this series are in for that kind of theme. We are here for the exaggerated nonsense that made this series so lovable in the first place. We know it was stupid or doesn’t make any sense but we loved it. Without all that, the toning down the comical stupidity in favour of something a little serious and soul searching and self discovery for the main character has proven to be a big mistake after all. The laughter is toned down and in a way feels forced. Yeah, I noticed I ‘laughed’ because it was supposed to be ‘funny’. Or so I think. Well, I definitely think it was better when the story had a piggy lard boy turned god trying to take over the world instead of a soul searching idol no matter how ridiculous the former was.

One of the biggest reasons that this season is very much toned down is Milky Holmes themselves. As I have said, they are still dummies but not in a way that they can be called retarded and useless anymore. It is with mixed feelings seeing them stray away from their usual behaviour as we once knew them. It is good to see them being more responsible and useful (cough, cough) now but on the other hand, they are less funny. That’s right. This season Milky Holmes did not make me laugh as mad as before. Although there is this supposedly running joke that Milky Holmes always makes the wrong deduction and like Sherlock quick to accuse the wrong culprit, it still doesn’t match to past season’s funniness. Get what I mean? They’re funny only because of my past perceptions and memories of them so when they do something silly even though it may not be funny, my natural reaction is to laugh.

I remember Nero was being such a very ‘spiteful’ character thanks to her greed and selfishness but this time around, it is good as nonexistent. Hercule was supposed to be the brains as I remembered it but she rarely displays any of that here. What about Cordelia breaking down and going into her fantasies? Nada. I don’t know, deep down I thought without all that, their charm is somewhat lost. It is like as though they are a different set of characters only using the Milky Holmes name and looking like them. Also, Milky Holmes seems to have gotten their Toys back although they rarely use it. Heck, Toys are hardly used here. Despite the final fight with Arsene has them displaying their Toys only once, it felt force because as though it is to remind us that they have such powers in the first place. Yeah well, like you girls said right at the end, I hope you all try harder on your next case next time. If there will be next time, that is.

Another factor could be the absence of Phantom Thief Empire. They are reduced to pathetic cameos. Without Arsene and her henchmen, somehow the fun has been reduced. Because no matter how disgusting a certain nipple erecting guy is, it is always never dull to see that pervert get full of himself (that includes stripping). I mean, Phantom Thief Empire was the one trying to bring out the best in Milky Holmes but it also brought out the worst in them. How would Milky Holmes get better (or worse) without them around? So with this season the loli detectives totting around the world with an idol, it feels this group of phantom thieves are sorely missed. I know they want new characters and storyline but something tells me Milky Holmes isn’t the same without Phantom Thief Empire. Therefore the final fight with them in the last episode feels forced just to remind us that they are still around. Or it could be to pass time because you don’t want to be bored if the entire episode is about Marine’s concert and that would be like stealing the limelight from Milky Holmes which is a big insult since this series is named after them. Even if we are surprised that they get a few more minutes of screen time seeing that they are missing for the big part of this season, we are certainly not amused. Like as though this forced appearance and fight is to satiate our nostalgia about them. Didn’t work.

Also greatly absent are the rest of the G4 members. Even worse than Phantom Thief Empire, it is like the producers decided to do away with Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku and ‘killed them off’ with unknown excuses why they don’t even bother to show up for work (maybe they can’t stand Kokoro anymore). Therefore our poor Kokoro is left to do all the work herself with Keiko. You can’t blame that loli police for being so stressed up and blowing her top all the time. Yeah. Kokoro is still amusing and funny in that sense. But I also guess that they don’t want to bore us with that running joke in previous seasons about her IQ and the gold mask whacking reaction each time Sherlock calls her Kokoro-chan. It is kept to a very minimum that if you have not watched previous seasons of Milky Holmes, you won’t really get it or think much about it. Those felt like just to bring up the nostalgia factor for us Milky Holmes fans. I’m not sure about this irony because remember in the OVA, Kokoro became an idol? Here, she seems to be fawning and drooling over Marine at one point as her biggest fan although she might be a secret idol Mayu without knowing it herself. Oh, did she forget? With Keiko around, very likely. Speaking of Keiko, her motives feel lacking rather than mysterious. I thought she was going to be the culprit or antagonist somehow but she’s just playing the observing role.

Other recurring characters feel okay and nothing much. Like Feathers who starred in their own spin-off and Milky Holmes played the supporting role, it is reversed in this season with the duo now acting out the supporting part for Milky Holmes. The case of I scratch your back and you scratch mine? In fact, many of the old characters make just cameo or don’t at all. Like Kobayashi and Kamaboko appearing just for a handful of seconds while Irene, Sonia and Lily (from Alternative) were greatly missing. Not even that bomb disposal unit, Poporo. Remember that Mori Arty villain? She made mysterious motives that made us question her goals even more. Where is she here? Don’t see her anywhere. Did they forget about this character or intentionally left her out? Perhaps it is a good thing that Mori Arty never appeared, otherwise we would be sceptically questioning the purpose of it all.

New characters do not impact much. Marine as the main character feels lacking in many ways. I guess in a way her sudden fall from stardom only shows how cruel and dog-eat-dog-world the idol business may be and then rise back to the top again once she has found enlightenment. Yeah well, whose show is this season supposed to be? I figure Miki resigned to atone for what she did to her best friend and somehow when she was the mastermind or at least co-culprit as the one responsible for Marine to lose her Elements, it didn’t really surprise me because if you want to do a good ‘detective’ show, the culprit at the end must be part of the casts we know, right? It wouldn’t be fair and ethical to throw in a new character that we wouldn’t know. But I didn’t guess it was her because I was thinking it might be Senna. Still remember this girl? No? Don’t blame you. I guess her character was just trolling.

Many of the other side characters just appear for that episode and nothing more is said about them once the plot moves on. Especially Marine’s Elements who just feel shallow. No great explanation as to explain why they are absorbed into a certain person and make their dark personality goes berserk. So it is puzzling when Elements that get absorbed to people very close to them most of the time like Miki and Nero, oddly how come they do not detect them in the first place? For those who got absorbed into others, how come they end up at far flung places like that Indian-like kingdom and a former one-hit wonder in the middle of the woods? Unless they were at Marine’s concert at that time but I doubt they were given the circumstances and everything. And it is odd that after losing a challenge, they return to Marine. That’s it about them. Yeah, we don’t even know why whatever power they have suddenly make their host go wild or their dark side, thus a lame excuse for some challenge that you will know will end in a predictable outcome.

At least the art and drawing remains pretty much the same in the first two seasons. Cute girls everywhere so I can’t see any reason to complain. Almost everything is bright and vivid. In any case, Milky Holmes themselves look much better than their cameo in Futari Wa Milky Holmes. Heck, more accurately they look like they should as before in the first two seasons. Backgrounds and sceneries are okay too and nothing too shabby. At least the chibi illustrations during the sponsor screens are still funny but the final end card illustration seems pretty good although they’re all sketched by the same person, though.

As the familiar casts are retained, new ones join in. The only one I could recognize was Ayako Kawasumi as Producer and Aoi Yuuki as Carol. The rest include Emi Nitta as Marine (Honoka in Love Live), Mari Nakatsu as Miki (Nanami in Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo), Ai Yamamoto as Manager (her debut and only role) and Asami Seto as Ann (Chihaya in Chihayafuru). I know it is a pretty long list considering the other minor characters that only appear for one episode and the rest of Elements but I’m just too lazy to list them all seeing the fact that I have lost my motivation due to my overall sentiments for this seasons. Hah! I’m taking after Milky Holmes’ laziness from previous seasons!

The same quartet behind Milky Holmes sing the opening theme for this season too. Milky-A-Go-Go has that familiar feel to all the Milky Holmes opening themes that you have heard thanks to its lively and cheerful feel. The ending theme is Tankyuu Dreaming by Emi Nitta and of course sounds very much like an idol song. Thanks to the idol theme of this season, there are lots of insert songs and on average, one per episode. Although some are fun to hear, unfortunately they don’t stick very long in my mind. Maybe it is a sign that they aren’t just as appealing?

It is with great despair to see that one of my all time favourite funny, wacky, zany, crazy series has turned out into something mediocre. So sad to see this series has been added to the statistics of sequels failing to live up to its predecessor. How I missed the ol’ days of Milky Holmes. I am not saying that this season sucks as it is still decent in many accounts. It is still okay on its own but it is the comparing with its previous seasons that really dragged it down. If you are an old Milky Holmes fan like me, it is only natural to expect sequels to be greater or at least on par with its previous works. If they ever do another season of this, I just hope they remember to go back to the basics. Yes, Milky Holmes. Remember elementary… Elementary, my dear Milky Holmes.

Futari Wa Milky Holmes

June 28, 2014

What in blazes is this???!!! What the hell is going on???!!! What happened???!!! Am I dreaming???!!! Because… WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MAH MILKY HOMES???!!!Those bumbling, clumsy and incompetent disgraceful quartet of loli detectives have become competent and adept!!!! YES!!! You read that right!!! Milky Holmes is suddenly useful!!! Well, actually nothing wrong with that. It is just that we’ve been so used to the awkwardness of Milky Holmes that we have accepted this as the truth of reality so when they really become effective, it’s like they changed everything in the series. It’s like turning One Piece’s Luffy into a responsible and highly dependable leader. Not right, no? Alternative was ‘alright’ since we all were ‘informed’ that it was going to be different (although it proved Milky Holmes shouldn’t be some serious detective show) but this supposedly third season of the Milky Holmes series? Shocking? Where will we get our sadistic kicks of laughing at failing lolis then?

However, Milky Holmes isn’t going to be the main heroines of this third instalment (which takes place a few years later after the second season) because a new pair will be in focus in Futari Wa Milky Holmes. They will be the new team of friends-cum-detective that you will see in solving the crimes and catching phantom thieves in their quest to become the greatest detective as per their dream. So now our original Milky Holmes will be relegated to just side characters and making cameo appearances. Hmm… I wonder if that is a joke itself. Also, the third season’s duration time per episode is slashed in half. 12 minutes for each episode? I suppose they don’t want to bore us with serious detective work without any humorous jokes and gags along the way.

Episode 1
Kazumi Tokiwa meets up with her friend, Alice Myoujingawa for school. Along the way they talk about how cool it would be if they could enrol in Holmes Detective Academy. However Alice’s brother, Shion was dead against it. As long as it is other detective academy except this one. When they see a picture of Milky Holmes in the street, Alice fawns over them because they are her idol and she aspires to be like them. However Kazumi argues that in the eyes of commoners they are deem as legends due to the fact that phantom thieves have been laying low. So the lack of solving cases caused people to think they do not exist. Huh? Of course Kazumi wants to be like them too and thus the reason why they are working hard and aiming to become detectives. Alice praises her for such lofty goals since her parents are also detectives. However Kazumi says it has nothing to do with them. They live separate lives. Father is always busy working for overtime money while she doesn’t even know what mother does and is never home. It’s like they don’t care for her. Meanwhile Kokoro is bored and stuck in traffic enforcement. I guess it’s much better than her Genius 4 pals who are stuck in office doing desk jobs. She also has an apprentice under her wing, Keiko Totsugawa. Then the alert is sound. A phantom thief is sighted at the city museum. At last. Time for some action. However it is also reported that phantom thieves are hitting different parts of the city simultaneously. Kazumi and Alice see a shady guy run pass them. They think he is a phantom thieve and start chasing him. Kazumi uses her bow and arrow Toys but missed. The guy shoots back his beam but Alice’s Toys shields them from harm. This guy thinks he has gotten away but to his surprise is brought down by the real Milky Holmes! But he’s not out yet because his comrades help him escape. Then before the girls, a group of phantom thieves appears. The leader laments that detectives and phantom thieves have been making secret deals behind the scene and thus a shame to those phantom thieves who have ground away their fangs. He believes detectives and phantom thieves will always be the opposite side of justice and crime and never together. He declares a war against the world and those phantom thieves who have sullied their title. This group consisting 7 phantom thieves is called Coloured Phantom.

Episode 2
Although Alice is happy that they got to see Milky Holmes in action, this only makes Kazumi feel sad because she really wants to become like them and help catch phantom thieves. So how? Alice suggests going see them directly. And so a bunch of girls sneak into the academy just to see them. But they hear Milky Holmes somewhat arguing in their room. As they inch closer to eavesdrop, Milky Holmes slams open the door, knocking them out. When they come to, they are in their room and very much happy to see their idols. They’re the graceful and elegant detectives they know. When they mention about their intention to be like them, their reply is to just do it. Although they don’t have a licence yet, what is important is they pick a name for themselves, wear a detective’s uniform and do a Nike. Just do it! After they leave, Milky Holmes ‘crumbles’ from exhaustion because it was really hard trying to put up their graceful act. Tiring to keep up their public image, eh? As Alice’s grandma has made her a detective costume for making it into Holmes Detective Academy, she also requested one for Kazumi. Meanwhile a phantom thief contacts Violet Shadow, the leader of Coloured Phantom for permission to strike and have his revenge against Milky Holmes. He allows it but warns he is on his own and won’t help out. The rest deduces that this dude has outlived his usefulness. And so this shady guy, Red Lion leaves a warning letter as trap for Milky Holmes. However Kazumi and Alice spot him in the back alley in his suspicious activity and go to stop him. He is not convinced with these amateurs and easily overwhelms them. He thinks of using them as bait to lure Milky Holmes but Kazumi won’t be defeated. She gets back up and fires her arrows. Her will to become a great detective is so great that her arrow suddenly becomes a huge bright light. So powerful that it sends this guy flying crashing into the wall! Because feathers are floating down in the aftermath, Kazumi decides to call themselves as Feathers. Kokoro and the police are investigating the scene and baffled why this phantom thief is lying around. She notices a card on his sunglasses which states that Feathers were here. Who?

Episode 3
Kokoro is being interviewed on scene and it’s not so much about Red Lion taken into custody. It’s about who Feathers are and how they apprehended him. She wants them to come down to the station to give a statement. Of course our Feathers duo are ecstatic watching it back at their home. Shion knows Alice is watching this news instead of sleeping. He sighs he should have objected her enrolment into the academy because he views her as a gentle girl and shouldn’t be doing something so vulgar. Even in school, Feathers become a much talked topic among the students. Happy, Kazumi? But the teacher cautions them to get their licence first instead of causing trouble like those fakes who aren’t even nationally accredited detectives. Of course this upsets Kazumi but there’s nothing she can do about it since Feathers are still pretty much a secret. Kazumi has dinner at Alice’s home and while watching the talk show, the people are divided. Some are sceptical that this happened since Milky Holmes didn’t do anything about it. But super sleuth, Ryouko Komatsu vouches her support for Feathers. Suddenly the station receives a video from a Coloured Phantom, Yellow Black Hole. She challenges Ryouko to join Feathers to protect them and will be targeting her detective’s licence that she values more than her life. Shion turns off the TV believing nice young girls like them shouldn’t be watching such violent shows. So the Feathers duo feel somewhat responsible because they got Ryouko involved. They’re going to solve this one. After this little transformation scene that could almost rival a magical girl, they sneak out of the house. Meanwhile Shion is looking through the comments made by other Coloured Phantom about Red Lion’s capture. Oh no… Could it be… Say it isn’t… Okay, it is. Looks like he is that leader of Coloured Phantom. Feathers heard Ryouko’s scream and it seems her licence got stolen. They find her licence outside a warehouse but find it suspicious that the phantom thief would drop it. As they head inside, Yellow Black Hole casts a trapdoor on Alice and causes Feathers to be separated. Kazumi is all alone and faced off with Blue Hunter. However his Toys is replication so Kazumi’s arrows cannot hit his clones. Once she is surrounded, she is overcome with fear and loses her ability to use Toys.

Episode 4
Blue Hunter senses Milky Holmes coming so he abandons the scene. Alice is safely returned. When Milky Holmes arrive, no phantom thief or Feathers around. Kazumi felt frustrated that they had to be saved by them again. They creep back into Alice’s home and it seems Alice’s parents know about it but choose to keep quiet (heck, they left a big trail of curtain hanging out of their window). They don’t want to let Shion know about this too. Depressed Kazumi thinks of seeing Milky Holmes for advice but she sees a never-seen-before stairs. It leads her to a secret library and a forbidden door that she believes contains Milky Holmes records. She learns that Milky Holmes once lost their Toys too and then it hit her that everyone can only have 1 Toys. Elsewhere Alice is at the warehouse scene to investigate. She notices no real trapdoor so it must have been a work of a Toys. However she is made to leave by Kokoro. Ryouko closes her detective agency since she doesn’t have her licence. But it’s in Alice’s hand, right? She won’t give it back yet as there is something she wants to investigate. They follow Ryouko and see her suspiciously trying to trigger something with her PDA. Then Feathers reveal themselves. Ryouko wonders how they escaped the trap. Alice knows the licence is the trigger for the trapdoor and tricked Ryouko by using a bird fly around with it. Birds don’t fall through a trapdoor, right? Because everyone can only have 1 Toys, it wouldn’t make sense that Blue Hunter will have this trapdoor Toys. Ryouko admits she is Yellow Black Hole. Feathers are appalled a phantom thief is disguised as a detective. Kazumi is about to fight her but Blue Hunter arrives to assist his comrade. As he charges, they get into formation when Kazumi’s arrow again grows, blasting away Blue Hunter’s mask, revealing him to be one of the detective talk show’s host. Yellow Black Hole tries to convince Feathers to join them as their Toys are very much suited for phantom thieves. Rejected. She then explains she was once a detective and admired them. But then she realized a mystery that could never be solved. She leaves them hanging with that and escapes with Blue Hunter. Later, Kazumi deduces that it was Alice’s shield that amplified her arrow. I suppose whenever they combine their Toys, this is what happens. Alice wants to be more than somebody who protects Kazumi. She wants to catch phantom thieves with her. Kazumi agrees.

Episode 5
Feathers are handing out flyers to look out for activities that may need their detective skills. However Alice notices a lonely old woman frequenting the bar after alighting the same bus alone and never touches her drink and always seating in the same seat. Kazumi deduces she is a phantom thief. Of course she was just over thinking. So for 5 days they tail her since she got on the bus but nothing suspicious so far. Then one day she didn’t take the usual route and got off early. They tail her to a park where she reveals herself as Yoshie Kawashima, a national spy! Just kidding! She knows they are detectives in training and had been tailing her so she got off early just to surprise them. Of course being detectives, she isn’t going to give a straight answer and they have to figure it out themselves. She only hints that she gets on the bus to see someone. As for why she never touched her drink, she started frequented the bar a month ago and loved some cocktail. However recently the bar master changed the formula and though she tried to talk to her about it, she remained stubborn. So she comes every day to test if the taste would return back to original. Sadly not today. One day, they see her talking to the bar master. She’s acting strangely like she’s never seen her for so long. They tail her to the back alley and confront them. Yoshie reveals this person whom she gets on the bus to talk to is her son (the bus driver) whom she has never seen for a long time (she put him up for adoption when he was young). As they leave to talk, Kazumi tells them to hold their horses. She saw Toys activated when the son introduced himself. He deceived people that way, the reason why the drink’s recipe changed was because he took over the bar master’s place. With the cat out of the bag, the phantom thief reverts to her true form and reveals she was trying to get granny’s fortune. She makes a run for it and tries to throw her boomerang at them. Alice’s barrier deflects it and cuts the rope she was climbing. Left hanging on a pipe, Kazumi finishes her off with their big combo. Boom! Once again, the day is saved thanks to Feathers. In the end, the real bus driver actually turns out to be her son. She never said anything initially because she was preparing herself mentally for it. And now that she is, she finally goes talk to him.

Episode 6
Yellow Black Hole is about to steal some golden panda artefact but was intercepted by the legendary phantom thief of their time, Visconte. He was believed to have disappeared after a great heist 10 years ago. Alice walks Kazumi home after the former had dinner at her place. Kazumi’s dad is worried she came back so late and didn’t call or anything since phantom thieves are getting bolder and more violent lately. Kazumi is not impressed. He’s always at work and they hardly spend time together. Besides, Milky Holmes and Feathers will keep this place safe. Father thinks Feathers are amateurs. Kazumi doesn’t take this insult well so she vows to become a great detective and catch all the phantom thieves. Later that night, Alice calls Kazumi that on the news, Visconte has left a challenge letter that he will steal a diamond that commemorates this city’s founding at midnight. A bunch of police and even Milky Holmes are at the scene. This means Feathers can’t let this chance go. Kazumi sneaks out of the house but don’t think father doesn’t know… Outside the museum is crowded and Feathers can’t get through so they decide to go up the nearest tall building. As the clock strikes midnight, Kokoro starts laughing like a maniac that she wins. That’s what you call counting your chickens. She didn’t think the phantom thief would be a few seconds late, didn’t she? After a couple of policemen drop unconscious, here is Visconte with the diamond in hand. How did he? Ciao, baby. Kokoro orders Keiko to get the chopper to go after him but the apprentice is nowhere to be found. Feathers see Visconte gliding in a glider. They use their combo move to shoot him out of the sky. Visconte spots it in time and avoids. Feathers chase after him but it seems he has already abandoned his glider. He even left the diamond there! A note says that he was so impressed by their Toys that in respect of their courage, he returned the stolen gem! Of course this only serves to piss off Kokoro even more. Damn those Feathers again. But Milky Holmes is singing all praises about their Toys and think they will become great detectives. If you have been wondering that familiar feeling about Visconte, wonder no more because true enough as I suspect, he goes home to his loving wife and they turn out to be Alice’s parents… All in the family?

Episode 7
Alice notices her father’s back a little pain. Shion hints he ‘fell out from the sky’. After she leaves for school, the parents see Shion about his interference in the Beika Hall incident. They guess he is the leader of the Coloured Phantom and that phantom thieves should always conduct themselves with grace. Shion is not amused and is sick of this grace thingy. He asks them what they think of this place now because detectives and phantom thieves should be natural enemies. Father hopes he will understand one day what it truly means to be those. Yellow Black Hole proposes with Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution that her plan will make Violet Shadow happy. Alice shows Kazumi their team’s logo.  As they make way to the printing store, Yellow Black Hole spots them and sets off an explosion at the mall. The duo are then being told by Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution (in ordinary clothes) it was Yellow Black Hole’s doing. They took the bait and went after her. Meanwhile Shion enters Alice’s room and finds lots of crumpled paper in her wastepaper basket. Hmm… You’ll never know what you’ll find… Kazumi keeps finding small diamonds believed to be dropped by Yellow Black Hole. In a straight line? Obviously a trap! Kazumi goes after that phantom thief when she is in sight but Alice knows better that it’s a trap. She uses her shield to block Kazumi from falling into her trapdoor. However her amateur skill causes her to bump Kazumi away. Yellow Black Hole once again tries to coax Alice to join their side and ditch that clumsy oaf. Rejected. Then they combine their powers and zap her. Yeah. Wonder why she was making it so easy to let them zap her as she just stood there. Unknown to Feathers, their data is being collected by Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution. Shion arrives on the scene to see Yellow Black Hole being arrested by Kokoro. She winks at him, a hint that the plan is going well. Of course he didn’t approve of this but there’s nothing he can do now. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution show Shion the data. Now they can defeat Feathers and begin their grand revolution. Shion didn’t know his little sister was part of Feathers, eh? Now he does.

Episode 8
Feathers are surprisingly invited to tea with Milky Holmes. Upon entering their room, they see Sherlock and Kokoro in a childish tussle over, Ellery Himeyuri. She is the director that took over Milky Holmes after Kobayashi. She was once a police but became a detective after learning about Toys. Currently she is on a journey to find her purpose and returned here to check things out. So the childish tussle was about whose place she should stay with. How to solve this problem? Himeyuri goes with Feathers. Problem solved. Sorry Sherlock. Sorry Kokoro. Meanwhile Shion has been acting strange since, locking himself up in his room. Truth too much to handle? He even deleted the data and video so Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution couldn’t do anything about it. This makes their fellow phantom thief, Pink Lovely Doom more interested in Feathers. Himeyuri could guess the duo are Feathers because Kazumi accidentally left their box of name cards on the table. Oops. She won’t tell their secret and wants to learn about their Toys when they get a distress call that another phantom thief has been spotted. Mush Miller from France is running away with his loot and fools Kokoro with his mirror image. He also tries the same thing when stopped by Feathers and Himeyuri. Not even their combo can stop him. Himeyuri wants Alice to use her Toys to trap him and has her maintain putting up some of her barriers. Then she borrows Alice’s Toys and has Kazumi come along with her. She has Kazumi fire her arrows at him as she manipulates the arrows to ring the crook in. Once they tie him up, Himeyuri reveals her Toys is Induction. She can use other people’s Toys and hopes they will forgive her selfishness of using their Toys. She also feels they have great potential in them. Meanwhile Keiko snaps a shot of them and looks up in the database. She is amazed to learn Alice and Shion are related. Well, what do you know? Because Keiko discards her police uniform and her true self is the Pink Lovely Doom! Why am I not surprised? Does this answer the question why she is always not around when Kokoro needs her? Although Alice is particularly happy about Himeyuri’s praise, but Kazumi isn’t because she didn’t acknowledge their strength as a team and was only acknowledging Alice’s strength.

Episode 9
There is some rule that police officers must not have Toys. So when Keiko’s reading goes off the charts, the higher ups want an explanation but she activates her Toys and makes them forget. Shion might be out of his room but he argues with father about letting Alice go to a detective academy. It was funny when sleepyhead Alice walk into the scene unaware of everything so Shion had to put up that perverted big brother act that his little sister is oh so cute to make her feel a little disgust and leave in a rush. Father says that if Alice wants to be a detective, there is nothing he can do about it. But Shion is not going to accept it since their family are phantom thieves. So can he bring himself to fight Alice since detectives and phantom thieves are eternal rivals. They realize too late that Keiko had heard everything. Now she knows their leader is the son of the legendary Visconte but she still needs him as their symbol for the new generation of phantom thieves. Shion is shocked to see Keiko is one of his comrades but nobody can do anything because Keiko unleashes her Toys. She gets away scot free. Kazumi is still reeling from Himeyuri’s words that she’s not focusing. Till the teacher had to tell her Toys reflects the strength of her heart and must believe in herself. Pink Lovely Doom lets the gang know that Feathers are not real detectives and can be dispose of anytime. Besides, they are ready to go ahead with Violet Shadow’s plan to take on Visconte. He himself doesn’t even know he had such plan. Kazumi continues to sulk… Thinking back how much Alice’s Toys is much better than her. WTF. Don’t you believe in your friend?

Suddenly there is a projection of Violet Shadow proclaiming he will steal Visconte’s precious treasure. Keiko is conveniently near Feathers just to tell them Violet Shadow’s location at the tower. All going according as planned. Visconte checks his treasure room and since everything is untouched, it could only mean one thing. His wife wants to join him. Feathers arrive at the tower and see Visconte and Madam Visconte. Alice couldn’t recognize her because she put on a little weight. Wait till you get an earful from mommy… Pink Lovely Doom is here too and notes they are going to take his precious treasure. Visconte warns not to lay hands on his daughter as he orders Madam Visconte to take them away. Kazumi is baffled they know their names. Pink Lovely Doom is not panicking yet and notes Milky Holmes is now on scene. They cut away their only balloon escape so Madam Visconte and Feathers are grounded. Now Violet Shadow comes in. He wants Alice to come with him because she belongs to him. Alice recognizes that voice. He takes off his masks and shocks them over his real identity. He wants Alice to become a phantom thief and promises no one will hurt her again. Pink Lovely Doom relishes everything is going as planned and they’ll gain a more powerful member on their side. But did she count on this? It is Kazumi who begs that she wants to become a phantom thief!

Episode 10
WTF?! Kazumi becomes part of Coloured Phantom?! She is so ‘eager’ to learn the ways of the phantom thief? Pink Lovely Doom thinks back what went wrong in the perfect plan. In that confusion when Kazumi wanted to become a phantom thief, Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution dropped a smoke screen for them to escape. She wonders what Kazumi is hiding, though Kazumi sheepishly says she may have always wanted to be a phantom thief. Unconvinced, Pink Lovely Doom will test her out. Meanwhile Alice is reeling from the shock alone in her home. Who wouldn’t if you find out your entire family is a phantom thief. The rest of her family members are ‘missing’. She stumbles upon a secret passageway to see many newspaper cuttings on the wall on Visconte. She thinks Kazumi must have figured she is the daughter of a phantom thief and thus cannot work with her anymore. Milky Holmes receives a letter of challenge from Kazumi. They reason she became a phantom thief as part of her training to become stronger. Pink Lovely Doom has Kazumi bust into the museum to steal the cap of Kobayashi to prove she is a true phantom thief. However moments before she could do it, she breaks down and couldn’t. Pink Lovely Doom deduces she just wanted to leave her friend. As she possessed a great Toys and helped her whenever she is in trouble, if she accepts that she’ll end up hating her. That’s why she left her and insisted in becoming a phantom thief. She doesn’t need her in her plan. When Milky Holmes arrive, Pink Lovely Doom uses her Toys to make them forget she was ever here. So now it’s Kazumi alone facing off with Milky Holmes. Thinking she is in training, they will not hold back and throw all they’ve got! However Kazumi is saved by Alice. She will become a phantom thief too as she was responsible in making Kazumi make that decision. She is relieved that Kazumi didn’t become one because of her family. However Alice will still be one. She wanted to be a detective only because she doesn’t want to be separated from her. She wants to be with her. Kazumi thinks Alice is innocent and pure and should be a detective. In order to protect that, Kazumi reverses her decision and decides to become a detective again. The friends rejoice and hug. Back a whole again. Milky Holmes leaves satisfied that this ‘training’ had come to a happy ending and notes Feathers have a very powerful bond.

Episode 11
Pink Lovely Doom rues that her plan ended up strengthening their bond so she asks the boss what will be their next step. He wants everyone to gather. And looks like the police security is still lax because the captured Coloured Phantoms have somehow escaped. Once all the Coloured Phantoms gather, Violet Shadow drops the bomb shell that they will disband as they have served their purpose. Of course this doesn’t sit well with the rest especially Red Lion who is going to claw him up. He also reveals Violet Shadow doesn’t even have his own Toys. However he is knocked away by Darkside Revolution’s shadow claw. He will not allow anyone to hurt his big brother. Then Great White Fallen Angel wraps her Soul Binding chains around Violet Shadow and put him in dream land. They are going to get rid of a couple of feathers that are standing in the way of his ideals. A giant shadow monster, Gigantic Phantom destroys a huge building. Kazumi and Alice get a call from Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution that they are issuing them a formal challenge to settle this once and for all. They are acting on their own and nothing to do with Shion. As Feathers reach the ground floor of the tower, they are faced with Red Lion and Blue Hunter. However Kokoro and the rest of her Genius 4 gang are here to buy Feathers some time. Up the stairs they run, they run into Arsene and her gentlemen thieves! They give her a free speedy ride to the top. Why are they helping them? Arsene replies it is a detective’s duty to solve riddles. At the top floor, they see unconscious Shion tied to the chair. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution consider Shion their true brother and disregards Alice’s true blood relationship with him. They reveal they were abandoned by their parents because their Toys were too powerful. But Shion took them in and treated them like family. For this, he shall always be their big brother. If Feathers are not around, he will not have to suffer so much and they’ll forever be together. Darkside Revolution unleashes his Gigantic Phantom to finish them. Suddenly… Milky Holmes makes their grand entrance via elevator and will challenge Coloured Phantom. Don’t take too long babbling because the elevator door is going to close…

Episode 12
Not only are those kids planning to destroy them, they will also destroy this city and make a new world where they and only their onii-chan can live. Grand plans. Can it work? Maybe this big dark orb can help them achieve it. As they shift their position to the rooftop, Milky Holmes wants Feathers to go after them to save Shion while they handle Gigantic Phantom. It’s going to be since it replicates. But they can get by with hard work and their trusty Toys. Great White Fallen Angel chains Kazumi in her Soul Binding to render her unconscious. When the dark orb has enough energy to be released, the duo get absorbed instead. All their Toys that were in effect are now stopped. Gigantic Phantom disappears and Soul Binding is gone. When Shion sees what is happening, he realizes their Toys are going berserk and at this rate they and the city will be destroyed. He wants to save them but can’t get near the out of control orb. Kazumi too wants to save them but feels unconfident that she lacks the power. Till Alice gives her that nod and Kazumi now has the confidence. Believe in yourself! They unleash their usual combo attack at the orb. The biggest ever! It neutralizes everything so safe to say, the day (or night, rather) is saved. When the kids pop out from the orb, Shion jumps to grab them but falls off the edge! OMG! Don’t let this end in a tragedy! Of course not. Here Shion comes flying back in his white angelic wings. What the hell? Is he a messenger of heaven? No. These wings are his Toys. Milky Holmes gets a pleasant surprise when Kobayashi makes his appearance and praises them. In the aftermath, the Coloured Phantom incident ended. Each member went their separate ways. Blue Hunter and Red Lion continued to be phantom thieves but risked getting caught. Yellow Black Hole quit being one and decided to make her way back up as a detective. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution have found a new home. Keiko is still Kokoro’s apprentice although nobody is sure if she is still continuing her phantom thief ways. Shion still continues to care for Alice. I hope it won’t turn into a creepy siscon level… That painting of her may just suggest the start… As for Feathers, they are called to tea again with Milky Holmes. They are surprised to see how clumsy they are handling their tea. But Milky Holmes has good news. From now on, they will work together as detectives. Thus their new name: Milky Holmes Feathers! Though they still operate as a duo, they continue their ways as the mysterious detectives in the eyes of the public and showing no signs of slowing down. Only Kokoro is complaining. They’re stealing all the spotlight! Got a problem? The road is long but they vow to become the best detectives in the world.

Bring Back Mah Dummies!
Yeah well… It’s nice to see that things worked out for everything and everybody but even so it doesn’t feel satisfying because… I WANT MAH MILKY HOLMES’! Retarded version, that is. Although Milky Holmes has been very helpful and different from what we know them, at least there are signs that they are still the incompetent fools we are familiar off. At least behind closed doors. In those instant, fans of the idiotic Milky Holmes in seeing such scenes will be hoping that there will be full blown idiotic silliness and then we can burst into laughter in seeing such classic nostalgia. Hey, many of us never tire to see the antics of 3 Stooges or even Mr Bean, right? But they have kept their clumsiness well under control so in this sense they aren’t really the useless Milky Holmes they are from before. Good work girls but… We still prefer the clumsy you.

For our new pair of Feathers, as budding and up and coming detectives, they are a great pair as well as inseparable friends. There is nothing wrong that this season and series trying to tell us about close friendship and to believe in yourself and your friends but I feel that Milky Holmes series isn’t a good place to do it. We are after here for the silly laughs, am I right? Sometimes I find the duo a little boring since their combo Toys are the same. It’s like their only trump card. Kazumi fires arrow into Alice’s barrier to amplify it. It usually wins. End of story. Since no friendship is perfect, we are shown cracks in the relationship for a while when Kazumi starts thinking the unbelievable that her friend is better than her and loses confident in herself while Alice discovers she comes from a family of phantom thieves. Everything of course has to end well as expected because you don’t want your heart broken seeing Kazumi and Alice turn to the other side forever. The only thing that bugged me is their so called secret identity. To the few characters like Milky Holmes, their family and even Coloured Phantom, they are known. But to the public, they are ‘faceless’ and never seen before. Especially Kokoro who is so pissed every time she hears their name. So my point is, if they have been solving a lot of crimes and catching phantom thieves, won’t they be recognized? I mean, nobody is around when they usually solve things. But there is always a risk. Heck, it could have been easily solved if they just wear a mask and I won’t even raise this issue. All they did is just change their outfit and run around the city without anything to cover their face. Isn’t that how Keiko managed to connect the dots? That’s why it is a big mind boggling question that they are still a relatively big mystery to the public. I can imagine the shock when their faces are known especially to their friends.

Other characters for this season are pretty sufficient too but they lack making an impact. For instance, Coloured Phantom as the antagonist of this series failed to live up to whatever they are doing and I don’t even know what the heck is this new revolution thing that they want to bring.  The rest serves as just ‘pawns’ for Feathers to face off and capture. Although Shion was the leader of Coloured Phantom, I feel Pink Lovely Doom is the real mastermind and the one pulling strings from the shadow because of her Toys that makes others forget. Oh, it was going to be evident that the way the real identities of the Coloured Phantom are revealed, you can make a guess who that phantom thief is based on their voice and sometimes the way they act. Thanks to Violet Shadow AKA Shion getting the ball rolling, therefore it was no surprise who Yellow Black Hole, Visconte and even Pink Lovely Doom are in the end. I still can’t believe Shion’s Toys are his angelic wings because it felt like some sort of convenience for a happy ending. I personally thought it would have been more believable if Visconte and Madam Visconte dived into the scene with their glider and saved him but they had to showcase Shion unleashing his Toys instead. Maybe it’s all thanks to Pink Lovely Doom making him forget he even has Toys. Shion sometimes whenever he is in siscon mode, he is one funny dude because it gives off a feeling that he really fawns over his sister which is just creepy. Just the perfect disguise to not notice your brother is the leader of a phantom thief group. And now he is no longer one (not sure if he really quit being a phantom thief for good), it is going to get a lot worse with Alice always preoccupying his mind.

Although the gentlemen thieves do make their cameo appearances in a handful of episodes, they do not have any spoken dialogue until that penultimate episode with Arsene. Their cameos feel like to tease and make us viewers pinpoint in glee, “Hey! That is that nipple erecting joker beauty sicko! He is still around masquerading as a teacher!”. So why appear to help Feathers? Here is my theory to solve that riddle: Because there won’t be a place to have detective-phantom thief cat and mouse game fun if the city gets destroyed by a pair of selfish kids who only want their onii-chan. And since this is Feathers’ problem, they have to solve it themselves. They’re here just to give a little push and extra service to us viewers. Heck even the rest of Genius 4 make their stinking one scene appearance. Better than none, right? Yeah. There are some that never made their appearance in this third season such as Milky Holmes’ pet cat, Kamaboko, that mysterious is-she-a-good-guy-or-villain Mori Arty and uh huh, who could forget the Kokoro obsessed Irene. Speaking of Kokoro, she feels more responsible this time although there is an air of bratty-ness and you wished that every time she starts getting pissed off, you wished she’d become her joker self like in the past. Uh huh. She still doesn’t like Sherlock to call her “Kokoro-chan” but this time no golden mask to whack her as retort. She also doesn’t resort to her annoying bragging about her massive IQ. I know… This way it made her look ‘smarter’… So really, these original girls have matured? I want mah original Milky Holmes back, boo hoo! Himeyuri as the new character who only appeared in one lousy episode was because as I found out, she was the heroine players control in the second Milky Holmes PSP game (in the first, players helmed Kobayashi).

Some of the mystery can never be solved. In other words, certain things left me mind boggled like what was Ryouko’s mystery that she quit being a detective and turned into a phantom thief? Was there a loved one involved? I don’t know. Not that we really care. Then about Kazumi’s mom. All we see is her dad and it seems their relationship is strained. We didn’t see it resumed back to normal and after this series ended, I began to think back and thought… Hey, could Kazumi’s mom be a phantom thief as well? Hah. Not that we really care. Here is another trivial one that we might not care too. I remember Feathers facing off with Yellow Black Hole and Blue Hunter. The latter got injured and they escaped. So how did he end up getting captured by the police instead? Maybe it’s during one of those unseen missions not shown in any of the episodes. Yeah, who cares. Why the heck did I even notice this even though praying for Stupid Holmes to return was largely occupying my mind. And what does it mean to be a true detective and phantom thief? I don’t know. I am neither so I’m guessing it is this series’ cops and robbers. I figure there is some sort of romance when you play tag in the city. Catch me if you can! And why did Visconte even allow his daughter to become a detective? Don’t know. That because she wants to sounds like a flimsy excuse. I know it’s good to give your daughters freedom in what to do. Or if he is going to be a strict daddy, it will be closer to revealing his true identity? So by being such a flexible father, does this mean if Alice wants to be a slut, he’ll allow it? Just saying…

The art and drawing mainly remains the same. However I can’t help but notice that there is a very slight difference. Because when I first looked at Milky Holmes, they are less ‘prettier’ than they are in the previous 2 seasons. It is like as though their drawing have become somewhat simpler. It is not that obvious but obvious enough for viewers like me to tell the difference. Especially Cordelia, I thought she looked a little different than usual. Otherwise, the art style remains as good as before ranging from your typical cute girls with cute bright sparkly eyes to the background. Just like in previous Milky Holmes instalments, the end card features a chibi style drawing but this time it is mainly on the Feathers duo. Funny. Amusing.

All those returning characters in this series have their seiyuus retained and they still play their part well. The new ones also aren’t too bad especially with Ayasa Itou as Alice, this is her debut voice acting and so far her only anime role. Aimi Terakawa voices Kazumi (Emi in Hentai Ouji To Warawanai Neko, Roxanne in Freezing Vibration) though she played a minor role in the original Tantei Opera Milky Holmes. Other casts include Kazuyuki Okitsu as Shion/Violet Shadow (Madarame in Genshiken Nidaime), Hiroki Touchi as Visconte (Panther Lily in Fairy Tail), Sayaka Ohara as Madam Visconte (Alicia in Aria The Animation), Ikumi Nakagami as Keiko/Pink Lovely Doom (Yukari in Girls Und Panzer), Aya Hisakawa as Ryouko/Yellow Black Hole (Maya in Tenjou Tenge), Yuka Ootsubo as Great White Fallen Angel (Kyouko in YuruYuri), Yuka Takakura as Darkside Revolution (Mai in Hentai Ouji To Warawanai Neko) and Natsumi Takamori as Himeyuri (Misaki in Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo). The opening and ending themes are generic lively anime pop so there isn’t anything special that attracts me. Despite this season is about Feathers, it is the original Milky Holmes quartet who sings the opening theme, Glory Glowin’ Days. Milky Holmes Feathers takes the ending theme entitled Seishun Beginner.

In the end, this third season didn’t actually break any new ground because everything else felt the same. It is just that it gives us new characters but nothing that really impresses in the long run. Long-time fans of the anime series may consider this season as a fall from grace although I won’t put it to the point that it is utterly disappointing. It tells us that going back to basics is what is important. Maybe they want to redeem Milky Holmes’ pride of being respectable and useful detective lolis but to us all, they are best doing what we know them for: Making hilarious whimsical mistakes, bungling all over, messing things, screwing up everything and looking cute while doing that. So producers take note. If you’re going to make a fourth season for Milky Holmes, please BRING BACK MAH DUMMY DETECTIVE LOLIS!!! And then I wouldn’t mind seeing them spam us with super erected nipples.

Sometimes it is nice to see things that do not work out the first time to make their return and try again. Sometimes not every failure is bad because eventually with perseverance it will lead to success. Or maybe sometimes it is just me who wants to see certain people fail and fail all over again. There is some mysterious attraction to that. Just like a certain squid girl who failed miserably to invade mankind, we have another eternal failure on our hands. Folks, once more let me introduce you to the most adorable bungling detectives ever in the history of detective-ship. With that said, Tantei Opera Milky Holmes II might have been long gone over the airwaves more than a year ago but it never hurts for me to start watching this series much later than usual. Saving the best for last?

As those who are familiar with the quartet of prodigy detectives known as Milky Holmes, they have fallen from grace ever since the start of the series. Losing their supernatural powers called Toys in the midst of their battle against arch enemy and super thief Arsene and her gentleman thieves called Phantom Thief Empire. Life has not been the same for Milky Holmes ever since they lost their Toys and they are spiralling downwards into a decaying whirl of decline and uselessness. Even their arch enemy took pity on them and decided to guide them back to the top once more so that beating them at their best would be the best prize ever. How that is not to be and a long and frustrating journey it must have been. This season is no less different as Milky Holmes is struggling with pretty much everything. Who will break first? Milky Holmes? Arsene? Expect lots of nonsensical slapstick idiotic comedy to go with that. Now you know why I keep coming back to watch them fail?

Episode 1
Even right off the bat, we see how deteriorated Milky Holmes have become. Such heavy sleepers that they didn’t even hear the alarm setting off. By the time they wake up, it’s already night. They fall into the lake and so positive these bungling detectives, they think it’s killing 2 birds with 1 stone because they can do laundry too. You can imagine how upset Henriette is. To add salt to injury, Milky Holmes isn’t going to school either. Instead, they are happily frolicking in their own farm! So pissed Henriette/Arsene is that she even chides her own men for not doing their duty to bring Milky Holmes to their senses! They in turn blame Milky Holmes for making Arsene gloomy. Meanwhile Nero makes Hercule take up a job. The kind that has her pose as a model in front of enthusiastic painters. Thank God she didn’t have to do it naked. The gentlemen thieves try to cheer Arsene up in what they do best but she is clearly not in the mood. By now, Milky Holmes has racked up a reputation. The kind where everybody hates them! See them fighting over food in the cafeteria? Shameful. Henriette confronts them and asks them what they want to be. And they even have the cheek to answer like jokers. The gentlemen thieves are going to make their move since they are further causing Arsene mad. First they had to try shooting several letters of challenge because they are too stupid to understand the implications of a letter tied to an arrow! After spelling out the challenge letter, what are they going to do? Sleep over it!

And so… Gentlemen thieves wait at their farm only to be pissed that they aren’t showing up. When Milky Holmes decides to visit their farm, they realize it is destroyed! Can you blame gentlemen thieves for taking out their boredom and frustration? It is then that Milky Holmes turned into vicious bloodthirsty avengers! No, not prideful detectives but the kind that will kill them! Monsters!!! All because of the tomato field is destroyed. So terrible Milky Holmes that the gentlemen thieves start to regret what they do!!! Pleading for mercy???!!! Gentlemen thieves are defeated but tell them off they want to be defeated by detectives. Does that word ring a bell? Apparently Milky Holmes screws up in changing into their correct detective uniform. And they got tired after all that changing… Meanwhile Kokoro, who is running away from pesky Irene, accidentally enters into a cannon. It fires and she crashes into Milky Holmes and gentlemen thieves. Arsene notes that even though Milky Holmes has remembered about being detectives, they are still useless and some shock is needed to wake them up. Gentlemen thieves are thrown into prison and Stone River wants them to stay here till morning as repentance. Next morning, Milky Holmes happily rushes to their farm but their horror it is being burnt down and overrun with heavy machinery.

Episode 2
Gentlemen thieves easily escape their prison come morning. Meanwhile Milky Holmes is enjoying every morsel of their leftover food. Hercule suddenly remembers something familiar about their Toys power. She has a hard time conveying it to the rest. As expected, they are too stupid to get it. They try to do part time jobs but suck at them. The ‘best’ one is Nero, calculating what she can do with the meagre money the rest will earn her. Hercule returns with a ‘superb’ painting as a gift from being a model. Looks horrible. Doesn’t even look like her. Suddenly an old wealthy man, Drill comes running to them and wants that painting. It reminds him of his first love, Higatha Christie. Does her face look like that? Well, since she is a shy girl, she always wore a mask. That’s what this painting resembles that mask. It’s been 80 years since he last saw her. Milky Holmes don’t want to stay and listen to his boring crap but when he mentions about the sickening amount money he will give them, wow, they’re suddenly all ears. He tells them how they were separated on that fateful day when they were touring the Pyramids. He has never seen her since and resigned to himself as a bachelor as he couldn’t find her. He wants to repose himself with that painting but Nero tells him to splash the cash. Does 10 million Yen sound good? OH YEAH!!! Hercule notices in Nero’s happiness, her Toys just went off. Everyone else too dumb to notice, Hercule too shy to speak up. Nero is excited to order 1000 pieces of first class sushi. Then the wind blows the painting away. GET THAT MILLION DOLLAR ART BACK!!!

So we see Milky Holmes, Drill and even the sushi guy chasing after the painting, miraculously evading fatal accidents everywhere they go. It finally leads them to a beached whale. It’s not that they’re so kind in wanting to push the whale back into sea, it’s because it is sitting on the painting! For that moment, Hercule thinks of using her Toys and suddenly she has this great amount of strength to toss the whale into the ocean! Gentlemen thieves who arrived in time also got flung away. The whale crashes into a ship over the horizon. As Milky Holmes savour their sushi and Drill his painting, suddenly Higatha comes to shore riding the whale. They emotionally reunite as Higatha explains she was looking for him all this while too. However she got kidnapped by pirates. A whale crashed into it and saved her. Now that Fatty Holmes has eaten up all the sushi, Hercule forces Nero to give the cheque to the sushi guy to pay for his daughter’s surgery. Gentlemen thieves are once again put behind bars. When Milky Holmes returns to the academy, Henriette confronts them. She is not happy. She tells them the police are doing all the work and this renders detectives virtually useless. As usual, Stupid Holmes is too dumb to understand what she means till she spells out the academy will close down and will be used to erect a pavilion for the upcoming Detective Fair. Back in their room when Hercule finally tells them about Toys, they realize they have forgotten all about it while trying to survive. And Nero had the cheek to blame her for not telling them earlier. They get excited to protect this academy. But first, let’s have sushi for dinner…

Episode 3
Based on Henriette’s words, Milky Holmes is going to Hakkei Island to steal some deed and seal for the academy and prevent the pavilion’s erection. They paddle a boat made out of mud and halfway through, it sinks. When they are washed ashore, they are taken in as prisoners by some Macho S&M Uncle and his henchmen. He tells them this is actually a sea prison and this island is an island of despair! HUAHAHAHA!!! Arsene and her men arrive on the island to steal an ultimate treasure called hope amidst the despair. She is dressed as a guy but I don’t understand why Twenty is part of S&M Uncle’s henchmen while Stone River and Nezu are treated as prisoners. Milky Holmes and the other prisoners pick up sea cucumbers and this scene turns into a musical while Twenty whips everyone into work using his nipples!!! Arsene snoops around and learn from one of the prisoners about some legend. That person who knew the legend thought to have escaped was actually dried up and hardened as some statue. So he didn’t escape, didn’t he? So he tells them about some tacky tapestry he saw that pinpoints the treasure. Milky Holmes and Phantom Thief Empire go into action to obtain the treasure as S&M Uncle initiates traps to separate them all. Cordelia and Twenty are stuck in some dungeon filled with creepy slimy sea cucumbers. While Twenty is having ecstasy, Cordelia goes bonkers. I don’t know what explosive force she used but it made a crater in the room! Twenty is traumatized!!! Hercule uses Nezu as bait for the shark while she escapes! At least she’s not so dumb. Nezu thought her Toys are back in action but all Stone River sees is that she coincidentally presses the stop button on the machine that would have squished them.

Sherlock and Arsene find themselves in a ring against S&M Uncle and his octopus. Arsene wants Sherlock to handle this herself. First she loses hope but after remembering the words of the ‘wise one’, she gets her confidence back and boils the octopus! Her comrades come by to help eat the octopus. Arsene gives directions as where to where Milky Holmes is to stand. Turns out they fulfil the requirements of the tapestry. They transform into their detective outfit and defeat S&M Uncle. Arsene rides up to the top of the tower to get the treasure. It turns out to be a flower that in flower language it means hope. She and her men flee after thinking they’ve wasted their time. Milky Holmes arrives and sees the flower. Sherlock plucks it out and suddenly everything crumbles! The entire island is made out of sea cucumber?! The dried cucumbers are enough to form a land leading back to the main land. Everyone escapes. Back at the academy, Milky Holmes gives Henriette the flower but she is not amused. She shows them the news report that the island they have destroyed is the island prison. You know what this means, right? Runaway prisoners escaped to the city… Yeah. Ironically the detectives let the prisoners escape. It took G4 to put forth all their effort in recapturing them all. By the way, S&M Uncle is a government worker in charge of the prison. Don’t let looks fool you… Milky Holmes is thrown into prison and this only gives Kokoro more ammo to insult and chide them as the most retarded of the retards. Yeah, she’s enjoying her victory. Repent, Stupid Holmes!!!

Episode 4
Cordelia is having the nicest dream when some foot monster stomps on her face. Turns out to be Nero’s bad sleeping posture… Even during the cafeteria, Cordelia and Nero ended up arguing so loudly about it that Henriette had to tell them off about their shouting match in addition to skipping classes. And they had the cheek to blame something else except themselves! Save for Hercule. Back in their room, they think everything will be solved if they fix their sleeping postures. They try to relax by thinking something fun (Hercule’s dream is all mosaic out!!!). Since it’s hard, they decide to play a game. Sherlock sucks at Jenga because she causes the blocks to tumble even at first go. Nero cheats by licking Cordelia’s ear, causing her to lose. She is forced to cosplay as Arsene. Since Kamaboko was impersonating as her boobs, Cordelia and Nero once more ended up arguing about each other’s chest. Elsewhere, G4 are hot on the trail of Phantom Thief Empire as they have stolen a precious vase. Arsene suspiciously gives up the vase and throws it away. Kokoro dives out of the helicopter to save it. She could have been splat had not for her mates holding on to her. Then it is revealed the vase is fake and the real one is kept within her cleavage (how ‘roomy’ is that area?!). Kokoro is left to rue her lost while Phantom Thief Empire makes their clean getaway. Arsene laments that playing with the police doesn’t satisfy her. Because Nero and Cordelia continue to argue that they intrude into each other’s bed space, everyone changes their sleeping position.

Milky Holmes is deep in their sleep and experience some sort of nightmare due to their sleep walking. How worse can it get? Cordelia being faced off with a lion (Kamaboko being pushed in her face), nervous Hercule poses as a model in the painting class, Sherlock eating her fish paste and Nero and Cordelia stomping on each other’s face!!! The ruckus is enough to draw Henriette’s attention as she heads to their room. However she witnesses something. As they are asleep, it seems their Toys power in their eyes momentarily flash. Nero dreams of transforming into a robot to face giant iron Cordelia when in reality her Toys causes the alarm clock to dismantle and combine all over her body like a robot. Cordelia uses a Sherlock as shield from Nero’s pillow attack. Hercule becomes so embarrassed that her model picture has been featured in the magazine, she uprooted the building. Actually, she lifted the bed and causes the trio to fall off. She returns sleeping on the bed. Can you imagine? The trio can have such ‘nice dreams’ while beating up each other in reality. Best in the world. When all has calmed down, Henriette leaves the room with slight hope. Next morning, everyone except Hercule feels their body aching all over and that deprivation of sleep feeling. Though they accuse Hercule of being the one pushing them off, she doesn’t remember anything. They think she is the one with bad sleeping posture and should return back to their original positions. For once, Milky Holmes turns responsible as they rush over to class. Henriette decides to wait a little longer for their revival.

Episode 5
Ishinagare puts up posters in school to warn about a flasher going around. Milky Holmes have degenerated that they are thinking of eating a slug on a leaf!!! They hear about this flasher thingy but don’t know what it means! I think they should eat more brain food. Anyway only Hercule knows what it means and is forced to demonstrate. Ishinagare sees this and thinks Hercule may look innocent on the outside but is actually a pervert. Milky Holmes sees a girl in coat and promptly accuses her as the flasher. Actually she is a detective from the Kansai region, Coron. She also heard about the flasher incident and needs an assistant in catching them. Seriously? Milky Holmes as her assistant? Guess what? They are cocky enough to tell her they have better things to do! Well, they WILL become her assistants because she throws them free fried sticks!!! And free cabbages if they call her Coron-sama!!! Cheap Holmes… Coron has Insight as her Toys. But this baby god of hers keeps smacking her on the head after giving his ‘answer’. They are to search around the academy grounds. As we suspect, Nijuuri might be the culprit, flashing his body while telling the students to beware the flasher. I don’t know how Coron and Nijuuri end up with a fight using fried sticks and nipples. WTF. Milky Holmes feels it’s a shame to waste those sticks!!! So the girls conduct their investigation asking the public. They sound like they eagerly want to meet the flasher… They come into Kokoro and G4 (what the hell is with that bomb disarming robot called Poporo? Is it supposed to take after a certain G4 member?) and seek their help. They think Phantom Thief Empire all fit the description of being flashers. You never know they may have a darker side. Coron thinks they are the culprit.

Arsene and her men have stolen another diamond. They think something is wrong since it’s too quiet. The police aren’t coming. Well, Kokoro and Poporo are fighting each other over the calling of each other’s name. And they’re blocking the door so the rest can’t get to work. WTF. So a bomb disarming robot just went nuts? Arsene thought she heard a genuine challenge from Milky Holmes. Turns out to be another goofy performance. They are wearing coats because Coron told them flashers hate to be imitated and thus this is an attempt to draw the flasher out. They can’t even unbutton… Useless… Twenty is dismayed that they are doing it wrong and shows them how it’s done! Why is Cordelia agreeing with him?! Arsene has had enough of this and whips their coat to pieces. Seems they are wearing clothes underneath, which goes against the being naked underneath thingy. Except for Hercule. Poor girl. Naïve girl. Stone River is going to chop her up for accusing Arsene as the flasher when she herself is the pervert. Coron makes her debut but blunders. Arsene and co retreat. Hercule was running away from Stone River and finds herself lost. Suddenly the flasher appears before her! Coron?! More precisely, she is Po, Coron’s other personality who likes to show off her desires. Coron is a rich kid and her strict life means she isn’t allowed to show herself. She reluctantly covered up herself and this is where Po was born. Po admits she likes being naked and will turn herself in to the police. Sherlock takes everyone to the public bath. They can be naked here for all they want. Yeah, Coron is a rich girl, right? When Coron’s original personality returns, she knows who the real flasher is. Soon, that flasher is caught by G4. Coron did some investigation and concluded she couldn’t be the flasher. Milky Holmes sees off Coron at the train station. She gives them fried sticks as a symbol of their friendship rather than rewards. Whatever. These bird brains find it delicious. Yum!

Episode 6
On board the Eno Express, we suddenly find Milky Holmes and G4 pretty messed up!!! What happened?! We go back 40 minutes earlier. G4 was onboard the train on their way to stop a bomb threat from exploding a giant statue that serves as Detective Fair’s centrepiece. Shortly before the door closes, Milky Holmes made it onboard. Yeah, they’re not here to stop the bomb but to attend the fair. Somehow Kokoro is already beaten up and unconscious so the other G4 members decide to go look for clues themselves. Milky Holmes decides to join them too. Noting that the culprit is the one among the train, the conductor leads them to the rear. I guess they’re going to arrest to most suspicious looking one, eh? Well, we’ve got piggy boy, the flasher, a nervous Irene’s dad, a very build assassin and his foreigner lover. They’re all suspicious! Hercule opens the window only to be bombed with bird’s poo. She is splashed with water. The flasher offers his coat but Hirano takes him out and kicks him out on the next stop. Then the assassin tells Hercule to strip. Actually he wants to give her wear his black coat. Nero accuses piggy boy for being the culprit because he is eating like nobody’s business. How can she say that when her belly is full and burping all the way? The rest tie Nero up. Irene sneaks onboard on the next stop and kidnaps Kokoro. Irene’s dad is so nervous that he blunders saying there is nothing suspicious with his suitcase. Hirano knocks him out and opens it only to have an alien facehugger hugging her face! Is that a horseshoe crab? Something about he found it on some website and wanted to release it in the ocean. Then they find Irene taking pictures of Kokoro in magical girl outfit. After the father and daughter are tossed out on the next stop, Tsugiko thinks how good Kokoro looks good in those clothes so Saku tells her to put it on. Tsugiko gets swayed by everyone’s support and puts it on herself. Cordelia hears a ticking sound in a suitcase. Fearing this will bomb her friends, she jumps out onto the flower field to be a sacrifice. But after hearing how everyone will praying for her to reach heaven, Cordelia isn’t going to die alone and rushes back into the train! Live together, die together! Why the hell did she bring the suitcase back too?

Anyway Poporo Mark II hitches a ride on the train. The bomb disarming robot goes berserk as it starts trashing the suitcase! Then lots of Kokoro memorabilia falls out. The ticking sound is just an alarm clock. They put Kokoro’s blazer on Poporo and the robot continues to beat up unconscious Kokoro. Everyone continues to look for clues and since none are found, the culprit must be among them. Sherlock accuses piggy boy so he has had enough of this and jumps out of the window. Wrong guess, huh? She tries to suspect between the assassin and his lover when the conductor confesses he is the one. He is a big fan of Kokoro and cooked up that threat letter so that he would be able to ride with her. The suitcase filled with her memorabilia belongs to him. However nobody blames him since he came clean. With the case close, that is how we see the gang messed up in weird outfits. Before the conductor is taken away, he hands over the switch for the bomb. By this time Kokoro is awake and learns what happened. She beats up Sherlock because she is mad that Poporo beat the hell out of her during her ‘sleep’. But who knocked her out first? Going back 45 minutes earlier when Milky Holmes just got onboard, Kokoro smacked Sherlock as usual. This causes a chain reaction of the rest bumping into each other. It ends with Sherlock slipping on a banana peel and accidentally punching Kokoro in the face. Not funny! Milky Holmes feel excited of solving this case. They decide to return being great detectives and that being farmers was a mistake. Sherlock accidentally presses the button and this explodes the statue’s head. What a way to make a great return…

Episode 7
Milky Holmes might be in prison for blowing up the statue but they love the prison food! They think it’s heaven! Kokoro is so pissed that she kicks them out! Yeah, they even think Henriette should have been here to get them. Well, it seems she is drowning her sorrows via alcohol. Oolong tea rather. I can understand why she is so frustrated and depressed. Milky Holmes tries to cheer her up and unintentionally makes it worse. Especially when they say that ‘useless’ word back at her. That’s when she snaps. But wait. Did she turn polite? I mean, she is serving a luxurious feast to Milky Holmes and G4. Her men thinks it’s part of her plan to degrade them by giving them a taste of heaven. And then the news report comes in. It is announced that Arsene will destroy Milky Holmes academy tonight. Now we know why she is giving them their last supper. G4 helps out in stationing their men around the academy. Kokoro thinks she can command the crowd but Henriette does it better and naturally. Suddenly lightning strikes over Henriette! Arsene drops in to mock the student council president is no match for her. She uses her Toys of Resplendence to have everyone see each other as Arsene. G4 fighting among themselves! Milky Holmes fighting piggy boy. Can’t they tell Arsene is not that fat???!!! Poporo knocks G4 to their senses. They overcome her illusion and fight her. G4 is eliminated when Saku uses Kokoro as a cannon ball to fire at Arsene. She dodges. A big chunk of the academy gets destroyed. Oh boy.

Stone River cannot understand why she is doing this because she usually steals first before destroying. Arsene claims she wants to crush this academy with her own hands and challenges them to fight her. The gentlemen thieves realize this is not the Arsene they knew and want to open her eyes and stop her. Though they swore their allegiance to her, she announces Phantom Thief Empire will disband tonight and she will leave this place. Despite the trio having improved a lot, the flashy and exaggerated battle with lots of WTF moves ends with Arsene still coming out tops. She has all the power she needs to easily fight back. The sad truth is that she is always stronger. The impact is so great that there’s a crater now!!! Not even Twenty and Stone River homo combo could stop her. Once all her men are down (Stone River’s last pathetic attempt to stop her was futile), she disbands her team. Milky Holmes is pathetically clinging on to her trying to arrest her. The last straw came when Arsene asks Sherlock what she is. Though her reply that she is a detective of this academy isn’t bad, it is the part that she bit her tongue while saying it that made Arsene furious. I don’t know what super power she summoned because it’s like all her anger and rage summed up into one giant punch into Earth!!! Aftermath check: Academy destroyed. All students unconscious. G4 out cold. Gentlemen thieves knocked out. Milky Holmes ‘sleeping’. Arsene the only one left standing. And there were none… Shameful… Is this their determination to protect the academy?

Episode 8
The crushing defeat leaves gentlemen thieves reeling in defeat. They even see the cloud as Arsene! Kokoro becomes such a despicable loli rubbing salt into their wounds and relishing in it! Look at how ecstatic she is running them down in their pitiful state. Who’s the real baddie here? G4 captures them as they don’t even put up any resistance. Milky Holmes is digging to find Henriette. How the hell did Sherlock mistake a camel to be Henriette? Boing-boing… They hit a box and open it. Some dead warrior chase after them (because they insulted him for being poor). Their hide is saved by Abe. He cautions them that there are several Toys buried around. That was Toys? Morning comes and piggy boy delivers several stuffs. Firstly, a sign to confirm the academy’s closure. Then a letter from Henriette saying goodbye. Next, letters to everyone who will be transferred to other better detective academies to improve themselves. They get fired up to do better. What about Milky Holmes? They have a letter too. It’s blank… No hope, eh? Lastly, this land will be a wasteland and some other place has been picked for the pavilion. Totally abandoned, eh? And Kokoro does not waste any chance in running Milky Holmes down too. People, don’t be as shameful as her. Gentlemen thieves are in prison. They lost everything. Even their minds. Even the shadow reminds them of Arsene. How can they heal this hurting? They blame Milky Holmes, the source of why Arsene did all these. It’s time for revenge as they easily do a prison break to go defeat Milky Holmes.

Milky Holmes is at a loss on what to do. They have nothing and lost everything. Henriette isn’t around to tell them what to do. Can’t they think for themselves? Suddenly Cordelia loses it. She escapes reality via her fantasy. Henriette is around! Yes she is! The rest gets absorbed into her fantasy. Gentlemen thieves appear before them to get their revenge but are seriously ignored. No reaction from them. Realizing they are escaping reality, they too get pulled in. Gosh! It’s really Arsene! Yipee! Little do they know, they’re making out with the camel… Don’t ask… Kamaboko bites Stone River as he feels a tingling pain. He realizes this isn’t reality and takes Hercule with him. He shows her the rest in fantasy land and must break free of this spell. He lectures they have been left behind but taking the easy path isn’t what Arsene/Henriette wanted. His face is getting creepy to convince her so Hercule throws him towards Cordelia. He cuts down her delusion to free everyone. Then he lectures about picking themselves up and getting stronger for their future. Everyone ignores him. So both sides part with their own goals to achieve. They still ignore Stone River… Milky Holmes creates their own makeshift home as Sherlock writes on the blank paper about their future. At least they’re being positive why it is left blank for them. They decide to call this the New Milky Holmes Academy. This will be their future and they set the deadline to become splendid detectives before the Detective World Fair in 4 months. Not only Kamaboko joins them but Arty too.

Episode 9
We catch a glimpse of Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku in their daily lives when they suddenly receive a screaming call from Kokoro to get their asses back to work as the paper work is piling up. However they won’t because they submitted their leave form and somehow Kokoro approved it. Meanwhile Milky Holmes is conducting lessons to little kids! Nero even asks them for payment! WTF?! Taking candy from a baby? Anyway their lesson is so disappointing that the kids leave. They can keep the candy for all they care. Then Kokoro butts in and decides to help them become great detectives. But this is a ploy to give trouble to her comrades on her day off. She uses Milky Holmes to rip off all the ingredients and get free food from Tsugiko’s stall, rip apart Hirano’s dojo (Cordelia went berserk like a killing machine when the lights go out) and disrupt Saku’s ultimate mahjong hand at some sailor mahjong club. Yeah, it’s ironic they can be ‘useful’ in this sense. Of course Kokoro’s mates know she is the one behind this and warn her to stop this harassment. They won’t come back to work as long as Phantom Thief Empire isn’t around. They won’t be around anymore, right? This gives Kokoro an idea. She forces Milky Holmes to dress up as Phantom Thief Empire. So weird… So to be a great detective, they need to put themselves in the shoes of the villains? Their first task is to steal and conveniently Kokoro has them steal a suitcase that a group of security men are bringing out. Kokoro becomes implicated in their getaway so not to let her identity bust, she wears a cabbage as a mask. The security men chase them and they pass by Kokoro’s comrades. Thinking Phantom Thief Empire is back, they also join the chase. They assure the security men that they will take it from here but the guys give that dumbfounded look. It is revealed that they are criminals so the trio chase after them. Kokoro and Milky Holmes end up near the Detective Fair. They realize the suitcase is talking and it pops out a woman, Haruko Minami. She is supposed to sing a theme song to open the expo. However she was kidnapped by those guys. G4 has apprehended the criminals and thank Milky Holmes for doing something good for once. As Haruko sings on stage, there is also advertisement to thank Milky Holmes (they’ve become the main guests of the expo) and their desire to request Henriette to come back since they are confident she is watching this somewhere. Meanwhile Arty steals a Shard of Pandora from the expo. But since nothing happens, she notes she needs the power of Milky Holmes’ descendants.

Episode 10
The expo is officially open. Milky Holmes failed to become great detectives as promised themselves. By the way, the kidnapping case they solved was a fluke and doesn’t count. They see a poster of the fair organizing a competition looking for a mascot girl. They would have joined it if not for a tiny requirement: You must have Toys. That’s when Arty butts in. She is looking for Pandora’s Jar and convinces Milky Holmes to help her as it would get their Toys back. Giving Sherlock the Shard of Pandora, it starts reacting so Milky Holmes follows its guide. Meanwhile piggy boy returns from overseas and has lost weight! He looks like a poor version of Buddha! I guess foreign lard won’t do. Yokohama’s lard is the best. However each time he is about to eat his lard-filled food, Milky Holmes bumps into him and spills his food. And those foods are the last piece. Sold out. The hunger lard pangs continue… The Shard of Pandora guides Milky Holmes to their school’s statue of Sherlock Holmes. There is an underground hidden passage which leads them to a jar. Arty is waiting for this moment because this jar contains all the Toys of Phantom Thieves the original Sherlock Holmes sealed within. Finally Sherlock manages to rip off the seal and all the Toys burst out. Piggy boy is digging his final and secret lard treasure. Fate is to be that Milky Holmes once more bumps into him and spilling his lard all over. That’s the last straw. After Arty snatches one of the Toys, she leaves. Piggy boy becomes so angry at Milky Holmes for causing him trouble all the time, he absorbs all the Toys. Powering up, he absorbs the spilled lard and returns back to his fat self. Now do you recognize him? He then attacks Milky Holmes with his lard powers. After that, he drains everyone in Yokohama of their fats. Feeling all the moisture in your skin gone? Sense your hair very dry? Yeah, Twenty must be bloody shock that his nipples cannot erect! Eventually the gentlemen thieves and G4 confront piggy boy but they are no match since they can’t even hold or pick up their weapons (blame electrical charge friction for that). Plus, piggy boy releases the most fearful Toys in history: Toys of Uselessness! Everybody now lacks motivation to do anything or is just totally useless. Milky Holmes is fine since they were covered in lard. When they confront piggy boy, he unleashes the same Toys of Uselessness on them. But why are they still fine? Because they have been useless from the start! They even admit it!!!!!!! SO NOW DO YOU BELIEVE HOW USELESS THEY ARE?! Piggy boy absorbs all the lard power and transforms into… OMG! Is this handsome hunk him?! IS THIS REALLY HIM?! Wow. Lard power.

Episode 11
In the beginning, there was lard. Lard… Lard! LARD!!! Who wants to hear this lard evolution?! Anyway it’s so yucky that it’s causing Milky Holmes to feel disgusting. Why not? If you’re talking about greasy fat lard all the way. So as Lard God (as what this piggy boy villain is now calling himself) brags about all the lard, he plans to steal the legendary lard of Nero Wolfe (Nero’s grandpa) to turn this world into a new age of lard. But Milky Holmes won’t allow that and steal the lard before he could. Then they make a run from his attempts to steal it from them, including running through Arsene’s treasure mansion. Meanwhile Arsene easily steals the Beowulf sword in London. However she is confronted by Sonia who tells her she has walked the wrong path. Instead of facing reality, she took the other path to escape it. She labels Arsene a weak person. But Arsene easily pins her down. Sonia believes Milky Holmes will walk on their own one day even if they’re crawling now, they’ll never forget to move on. The student council can show them back the right path. Arsene views Milky Holmes will always be useless. Lard God initiates his plan to absorb all the lard in the world. Everything in this world is made of lard, eh? Is that lard wine he is drinking? Gross! But Milky Holmes won’t give up yet and cut short his victory. They vow to protect Yokohama and their friends.

Suddenly their Toys return and they use all they’ve got in this power battle to bring him down. Lard God isn’t out yet so he absorbs all the lard to become some giant gladiator with wings. Pigarus? As in Icarus? Milky Holmes is having a tough time fending him off so Hercule suggests the wheat straw she saw in Arsene’s mansion. It is believed to be able to suck out all his powerful Toys. Before Lard God can launch his final attack, Arsene in one strong jump, leaps all the way back from halfway around the world to slash the guardian and turn night into day! The lard wings are melting! While Hercule restrains him, the rest tries to suck his Toys out. This scene might seem gross but somebody has to do it. Sherlock hears an inner voice wanting her to just do it. Forget about saving the world or Yokohama and focus on just putting all her effort into sucking. Sherlock reads closely the label and it says to blow instead of suck. With all their might, the trio blow until all the lard is released and returned to its rightful place. Everything’s back to normal. The inner voice turns out to be the true Lard God. He tells them not to hate the lard because it takes only a little ill will to revive the sealed evil. He’ll be taking it with him. And remember, don’t hate the lard. Love the lard! Then it starts snowing lard. A beautiful sight to behold. Yes, ironically it is. Looks like snow… Gentlemen thieves sense Arsene’s return and pledge their loyalty to her. She’s back. They’re back too. Milky Holmes revels in the beautiful ‘snow’. Merry Lard-mas!

Episode 12
Milky Holmes is reworking on their farm. But this time with their Toys! G4 is busy engaging with the recently returned Phantom Thief Empire. But Arsene has no time to play with them. She is stumped that with their return, Milky Holmes isn’t making their move. Apparently they are handing out flyers for people to join their new school. They aren’t convinced. No doubt they are the heroines but also the culprit who caused the incident. So much for public confidence. Then they see the news of Arsene’s return and Sherlock got so excited to fight her, her Toys destroyed the TV! Stop breaking public property! Arsene in disguise feels the need to send them a challenge letter after finding out they were busy working on their farm and thus didn’t hear about her return. She tries to make coincidental appearance before them as Henriette but their stupidity makes them get distracted by other stuffs. Doesn’t it look bad on Arsene? She’s not giving up yet. The last straw came when Coron shows Milky Holmes the flyer of Detective Fair’s mascot girl contest. Since Milky Holmes has gotten their Toys back, they’re going to enter it. Sounds like a good idea to Arsene too. Due to lack of participants, we see many past minor characters taking part in this contest. Even Kokoro. Arsene impersonates as the mysterious Jermaine in this contest. So… We get clips of interview with the losers like Coron (God wasn’t on her side?), Kokoro (it’s her attitude that made her lost as pointed out by her mates), Hercule (too embarrassed), Nero (where’s her politeness?) and Cordelia (still in her delusions she got chosen). And the final two will be Sherlock and Jermaine. And instead of having some debate, the duo have to dance. What does have to do being a detective?

Sherlock hopes this would get Henriette’s attention. Right under your nose… When they dance, Sherlock felt something familiar with Jermaine. Her hand feels familiar and even though Sherlock slips, Jermaine properly guides her back up to dance. Sherlock then had to screw up by doing some weird solo dance move because she got desperate to bring Henriette back. They both resume their elegant dance and at the end, Jermaine wins the mascot girl contest. I guess the judges love her bouncy boobs… When she gives her winner’s speech, she takes off her mask and everyone is well surprised Henriette has returned! Not as emotional as Milky Holmes who really welcome her return. Henriette acknowledges them as great detectives and just when they are about to hug her, they bounce off her boobs and wash basins drop on them. Guess what? They lost their Toys! So dark! Can’t get out! WTF???!!! Nooo!!! NooOOOooOOooOOOO!!! Not again!!! Such a sorry sight… But this time Henriette doesn’t give up. Back at their new school (I guess the open air is such a refreshing change), Henriette and her gentlemen thieves (in their respective school disguise of course) continue to guide Milky Holmes and will start all over from the beginning again. She is confident they will one day arrest Arsene. Now, read out the meaning of Toys. Slowly the other students who left come back.

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Alternative

What’s this?! Wait a minute! Did I believe what I just saw?! Milky Holmes not being the useless and stupid loli detectives we know and the hardworking case solving prodigy detectives that they ought to be?! Is this really true?! And they have their Toys intact too! No Arsene, no gentlemen thieves, no G4 either. That seems to be the case in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Alternative. Ah, yes. That is why the ‘alternative’ word is there. In a different parallel storyline that sees Milky Holmes being useful detectives for once and without any sort of bumbling and slapstick idiotic slip-ups that we used to see. This couple of alternative TV specials are based on the PSP game of the same name whereby Milky Holmes reunite with their teacher, Opera Kobayashi in London as they take up cases and solve their mystery.

Episode 1
Just arriving in London, Milky Holmes relishes the chance to experience all things British when they hear the scream of a girl, Lily Adler who just became a victim to a snatch thief. Milky Holmes get into action effectively using their Toys to stop the petty thief’s menace and return Lily’s bag. They learn Lily is a student of Bond Detective Academy and she has a request of them. Kobayashi is having a hard time paying off his rent to Mrs Hudson. The relatively safe streets of London (*eyes rolling*) seem to have affected his ‘rice bowl’. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? No case, no payment. But Milky Holmes is here to save the day as they bring Lily in as their customer. Lily begins that her great grandfather, John Adler’s painting was stolen. He wasn’t a good painter since the painting of her great grandmother was quite amateurish. It went missing from home 6 months ago. Although she reported to the police, no clues were found and she was at her wits end. She views her Toys as useless and hopes they could find her lost painting. The gang gets cracking as they list down several victims who got their paintings stolen. They visit Carl Steirer and despite born a Swiss, he has very much adapted to life as a British. Showing a picture of his father’s group of friends after World War II, in the picture is also John. The painting he received from John was of his final guests. Since they were all acquaintances of John, he gave them each a picture as commemoration. Next they visit Olivia Hunter, the widow of Thomas, one of John’s friends. She pinpoints the other people in the photo that includes Ronald Harker and Major Adair. As they are taking a break, Kobayashi accidentally trips and spills the drink. But Lily’s Toys freezes it. They learn her Toys as freezing liquid into solid objects although she cannot do so over large bodies of water. She does not have confident in her Toys but Sherlock gives her some encouragement that hers too isn’t great but use it when they can in their investigations.

When the gang visit Harker, they see him close to unconscious. Looks like he has been attacked. Before he passes out from sleeping pills, he points out to a book called Invisible Man by R.G. Wells and murmurs the culprit as “Griffin”. Cordelia uses her Toys to smell faint scent of Jasmine when the police inspector Quinn (Kokoro clone?) enters the scene. She does not get along well with Kobayashi and wants him and his amateurs out of the police scene. Milky Holmes are even afraid of her! Noting that Harker’s painting has been stolen, this means there is one more painting left. They visit Mrs Adair but her painting is still intact. Milky Holmes has a strange feeling when she serves them her hospitality. She tells them not to panic and shouldn’t worry about anyone wanting to steal such worthless painting. Back home, Kobayashi knows Milky Holmes has learned something from the investigation. That night as Mrs Adair is seen leaving in haste, Kobayashi and his girls confront her. They know she is the culprit behind the serial thefts and is a con artist. They realize this because the way she serves them wasn’t very British-like. Lemons in tea instead of milk? Raisins in scones instead of sultana? But shouldn’t that boils down to individual taste? Well, Mrs Adair is a very British person, right? Besides, Cordelia picked up the same jasmine scent. Kobayashi has checked the airports and states the real Mrs Adair has left the country a month ago so this one is just an imposter.

True indeed, Phantom Thief Kitty Evans cast away her granny look. This young sexy cat brags about the American art galleries she has robbed and runs away. Catch her if you can. Arriving at Thames River, the gang are surprised they lost sight of her. That’s when they remember Harker’s clues. Since Griffin is the main character in the Invisible Man book, it means Kitty’s Toys is invisibility. Sherlock uses her Toys to pinpoint where Kitty is but it’s not enough to pin her down. Not until Lily freezes the puddle and makes her slip that Milk Holmes is able to arrest her. See? Her Toys came in handy. Before Kitty is taken away, Kobayashi wants to know why she stole those paintings that don’t amount much. She gives out a big laugh and hints about those painting having hidden values. She is after something more valuable than the paintings. Before she could finish her sentence of forever being the best underworld criminal, an air impact knocks her head. Though there is no physical wound, Kitty seems to have lost her memories. Kobayashi types his reports as the serial painting thefts have come to a close, all the paintings were safely recovered and Kitty’s sniper was never found out. Milky Holmes suddenly moves into his home claiming they are bored with the hotel life. Yeah, they’ve got permission from Mrs Hudson and he can sleep in the roof. Plus, Lily will be staying with them till she is able to get back her painting from the police. This is going to be tough…

Episode 2
Mrs Hudson brings her grandson Tommy (Detective Conan dress?) to Kobayashi’s office since afterwards she’ll be bringing him to the Ferris Wheel at Thames River Festival. Among the highlights of the festival is an exhibition of a jet black diamond known as Black Widow once owned by the late Queen Victoria. As Lily prepares to head home with the paintings, upon knowing that her great grandmother’s name is Irene (no connection with the one in the TV series), Kobayashi suddenly sees a connection with the paintings. When Quinn confiscated the paintings there was also an x-ray machine they took in. Putting the paintings under the x-ray, they see haphazard lines. But when put together it looks like some sort of map. The initial letters of the paintings, Irene, Reichenbach Falls, English Channel, Napoleon and Empty House spell IRENE. Putting Irene’s painting as the final piece, there is a raven crest and some sort of message, “The Raven will be hatched from the Black Egg”. Suddenly news just came in that Black Widow has been stolen. The culprit drops in from the ceiling and seemingly fires an invisible gun from his hand. But they don’t have to look far for the culprit because he soon makes an announcement to the detectives. Edgar Moran admits he has the Black Widow in his hand. He explains England used to lurk in London. People were afraid of the darkness. Till electricity and gas came about, London then never slept and filled the streets with constant radiance. With Black Widow, he will suck the country back into the dark ages again. Kobayashi deduces that the Black Widow is the Black Egg as said in the message. Kitty was perhaps under his orders to steal the paintings and when he had no use of her, he eliminated her. London’s route map has been changing ever since the war and the map they’ve got from the painting is the old underground routes of London. The raven crest sits over the British Museum. Probably that was how Moran easily entered and escaped via some secret route.

While Kobayashi and Milky Holmes search the underground routes, Quinn does her research and finds out that Raven was a codename for a virus developed during World War II. Scientists loyal to the Crown reworked on the virus and found it to be very dangerous. Under pressure from ethical researchers, the royal family stopped all research on it and destroy every trace of it. Of course it was impossible to do so with the technology they had. Thus it was sealed underground. One of the scientist’s ancestors must have discovered the secret and drew those pictures as clues for detectives and descendents to destroy it. The virus will remain dormant until a certain light wavelength is shone on it. It is this reason why the Black Widow was stolen. Kobayashi and Milky Holmes manage to find Moran’s underground base. He doesn’t hide the fact that he wants to bring darkness to this world. Why, oh why? Long ago, he fought loyally for his country but a stray comrade’s grenade ‘stole’ his leg. No longer any use to the army, he was discharged. As a handicap, he couldn’t find a decent job or have nowhere to go. In his despair, that’s when his Toys to compress air awaken in him. He vows to use this power to avenge his fallen brethren who died protecting this country. So that’s the reason why he wants to take it out on millions of innocent lives? Milky Holmes sure wouldn’t care about all that but he makes his escape. They have no time to arrest him since he already tells them when Big Ben’s needle reaches eight, the Raven shall rise. Black Widow is sitting atop the Ferris Wheel that Mrs Hudson and Tommy are now in. While the detectives were running about doing their investigation, Moran’s sexy blonde bombshell partner-in-crime coolly planted the egg there.

With time running out, Kobayashi, Sherlock and Lily ‘hijack’ a plane from the museum to get to the Ferris Wheel. Sherlock wants to do a crazy stunt to jump onto it. Of course Lily is afraid but Sherlock wants her to have faith in her telekinetic Toys. See, all safe and sound. Seconds away before the hand strikes eight, Sherlock needs Lily’s power to freeze the egg. As usual, she still doesn’t have much confidence and views Kitty’s arrest as a fluke. Eventually she puts her mind into it and freezes Black Widow just a second before it ends! Hooray! Everyone is saved. Now they get to enjoy the beautiful fireworks as resort. As narrated, Raven is put into eternal slumber (how they do it is a mystery since they did say it was impossible to destroy it). Lily leaves for home while Milky Holmes patron the Sherlock Holmes’ museum. They see a picture of a woman and think it’s his lover. But that great detective was never good with women. Kobayashi points out that woman is Irene, the only woman whom he respected. So, have we seen this woman before? Yeah. Sounds pretty familiar, right? Wait a minute. If Irene is Lily’s great grandma, could it be that she is related to Sherlock Holmes?! Milky Holmes doesn’t think so but back at Lily’s home where she places the painting back in its original place, we see the trademark cap and pipe of that great detective. I presume those aren’t fakes.

Bringing Uselessness To New Heights…
Oh yes! The uselessness is so great that it had to spill over for a third season! Woohoooooooo! Me love Milky Holmes very much! Thanks to their uselessness, this season is once again as enjoyable as the first. I know I was a laughing riot right from the start seeing Milky Holmes in their very deteriorated state and all the silly antics-cum-troubles they get into. I’m guilty in the first degree for harping so much on their uselessness and wanting to see them fail so badly that loli lovers might want to burn me over the stake. Okay, so I do admit that there are times when I felt pity for them. I really wanted them to improve but there is this part of me that says if they do become the great detectives that they are meant to be, they wouldn’t become funny anymore. That takes away a lot of fun. They wouldn’t be the Milky Holmes we know anymore. Being useless is what defines them! But such ‘fear’ is dispelled when I watched Alternative. No doubt that Milky Holmes is much more reliable and there is basically not even a hint of slapstick comedy, the short series itself is enjoyable. Perhaps there are only a couple of them. I’m not sure if I could find that same level of enjoyment if Alternative was extended to a dozen episodes. Anyhow, Alternative is also a good watch but I just feel that Milky Holmes didn’t stand out that much as they did in the TV series. Yeah. Blame the uselessness thingy… Admit it! Who doesn’t love them being so adorable despite being useless?

Once more, Milky Holmes remains the same bunch of useless but lovely loli characters that we know them since the first season. I have said it so many times and I will said it again that we see them from hero to zero to minus negative! You thought they had gone so low that they won’t sink any further. Boy, how wrong we are. They just keep plummeting to all-new record low depths. They forgot about being detectives and went on to play their own Farmville. They even fight for scraps of food! I know it’s not good to waste food but really, they should be using such energy for better things. If I need to point out the worst character among the quartet, it would be Nero. In many instances you can see her scheming and greedy character. She makes others work for her and then takes their compensation. Is this what she has been taught? Even if she has forgotten her Toys or forgotten how to become a detective, she shouldn’t lose touch of her humanity. Of course being the scheming and greedy character is only in the sense of being funny. Hercule is the most decent character. Just that she is just too shy to speak up. She might be the least ‘stupid’ among the quartet as seen in her observation as the first one to notice their faint Toys. I think she really needs to take up some self confidence classes. Sherlock is still that lively detective with some tenacity in her spirit. There’s always sun in her voice despite her overall performance still rates useless. And Cordelia… I think this time she easily sinks into her delusions whenever she wants to escape the harsh reality. The more deluded she is, the more dangerous and berserk she becomes. Ultimately, you shouldn’t mess with Milky Holmes when they are useless too because as proven by the gentlemen thieves, they become ultimate bloodthirsty villains! Holy cow! If not for the comedy genre, it could have turn into a bloody yandere style hack and slash!

Arsene is the most hardworking (and perhaps the coolest) character in the series. For a villain to play the good guy just to get our loli heroines back into shape, she is one to be respected. It is no wonder why the gentlemen thieves will follow her to wherever she goes. However she is also human and every human has their limits. After all that is said and done, Milky Holmes did not improve a single bit and went further down the drain, don’t you think Arsene/Henriette would have had it up to here? I really sympathize with her when she snapped. And when she went on a kill-all spree, I was rooting for her to just beat the crap out of everyone, innocent or not, related or not. Still, she is too strong and even destroying the academy didn’t bring her joy. In her moment of weakness, she ‘ran away’, only to be brought back to her senses. So now that her head is clear, her goal is clear too. She is going to get Milky Holmes back into shape no matter what it takes. Because when she crushes them at their best, all the effort she puts in will be damn worth it. I guarantee you. The gentlemen thieves are still hanging around her. I have nothing much to comment on Stone River or Rat for this season. Stone River is just more fiery and Milky Holmes has trouble remembering Rat’s name. However, the annoying scale of Twenty has shoot through the roof, say by 200%! Yes. For this season, I find sex fiend Twenty more hilariously annoying because his nipples gets more screen time! As much screen time as G4 if I should say. The way he ‘plays’ with his nipples, twisting them, spinning them, elongating them like ropes, its erection sometimes longer than German frankfurters would easily disgust you but at the same time it makes him look so perversely funny. Is this what he calls beautiful? Like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Seriously, you will either laugh or puke when you see Twenty go into ecstasy. So gay. So funny. So revolting. Beauty… Such complicated subject.

This series won’t be complete without G4, though I feel that their presence is particularly lacking with the exception of Kokoro. Tsugiko is still wielding her guns. Hirano still holding on to her lacrosse stick. Saku still typing into the computer with that deadpan look on her face with a lollipop in her mouth. With the decaying of Milky Holmes, G4 has put in more effort to stop Phantom Thief Empire, though the thieves ultimately will get their way in the end. Kokoro has been brattier than ever especially with her favourite sentence of bragging about her IQ intelligence. Each time, it gets more and more zeroes. From 140 to 14,000 to 140,000 to 140,000,000,000,000,000,000~. Ugh… It goes on and on… I don’t think my maths is that good. I don’t even know what a number with 100 zeroes is called Does Kokoro know? Yeah, getting exponential, eh? If she was such a genius, she would have caught Arsene by now. So what does this say? I guess Kokoro and Sherlock are on the same length of stupidity because this has become a running gag for the series. Sherlock calls her “Kokoro-chan” and the loli cop will not hesitate to smash her with her golden mask and retort “Don’t call me that!”. Sherlock never learns her lesson, Kokoro never manages her anger. So they both deserve each other. Heh. Now with Poporo in the picture, are things going to be livelier with this quirky bomb disposal unit in the picture?

As for the other minor characters, those that appear in the previous season, some didn’t appear at all (do you still remember the Kamaboko-abusing Mary and Kate?) and some made very short cameos like Sonia. Irene (the one in the TV series, not the Alternative one) doesn’t feel like she is stalking Kokoro as much before although each time we see her, we can still tell that she is pretty much very obsessed with Kokoro. Kamaboko as the mascot of the series also feels lacking. It’s like I have almost forgotten Milky Holmes have had a pet cat. What can you do when their uselessness is so overwhelming? At least piggy boy has got more screen time and he even gets to play the villain for a single episode. Yeah, how many minor characters can do that? The most baffling character to me is still Arty. She suddenly entered the scene right at the final episode of the first season and in this season, she played a trickster role in tricking Stupid Holmes to do her bidding. After she got what she wanted, she left. You’ll never hear from her ever since. So what was it that she was seeking among the numerous sealed Toys? It’s like her goal never mattered. It’s just a catalyst to drive the story and lead Milky Holmes to the next level in their short-lived evolution. I’m intrigued about her. She doesn’t put on any evil expression and her liveliness is comparable to Sherlock so it is a surprise that when she did this, it never occurred to me that she would be such a character. More than meets the eye, I suppose. I hope the next season will address this. In Alternative, Moran was never captured along with his partner after his plan was foiled. So it’s a sign that it isn’t over yet. The new characters bring fresh quirkiness to the series. Personally the funniest one is still S&M uncle…

Keeping in line with the first season, several ‘traits’ of the series are still present like the mid-intermission which shows Milky Holmes (and sometimes Arsene) in different outfits and poses. There are also the end card drawings and sponsor screen drawings that turn Milky Holmes into chibi characters. My favourite one has got to be chibi Milky Holmes crossing Abbey Road imitating like a certain famous Liverpool rock band. Also, the titles of each episode are based on a detective novel but since I don’t read them, I don’t really recognize them. And as always, the amusing next episode preview in which the narration ends with somebody being accused as the culprit. Do you accuse yourself as the culprit? Except for one next episode preview, the one whereby Arsene is going to slaughter everybody. You can tell the grim tone of it when there is no punch line or joke in there.

The opening theme for the second season is also sung by the quartet seiyuus of Milky Holmes. Entitled Nazo! Nazo? Happiness!!, just like in the first season, it sounds like your typical genki and cheerful anime pop. But unlike in the previous season, we do not have a dark theme that Arsene hogged in the ending credits. Instead, Lovely Girls Anthem by Natsuko Aso is another lively anime disco pop. Although all the girls in this series are the main focus of the ending credits animation (cute girls, cute outfits, cute poses – except maybe for Arsene), notice how Twenty is part of the group?! At least in the final group shot. It just feels funnily odd. So did he really barge in or now not only he considers himself as the most beautiful but the most feminine too? For Alternative, the opening theme is also another lively and cheery piece. Sung by the same Milky Holmes quartet seiyuus, this song was also used as the opening theme for the PSP game. Alternative’s pop rock ending theme is Kimi No Naka No Watashi by Milky Holmes and SV Tribe. At first it was odd to hear a rocker’s voice singing along with such cute loli voices. Then for a while I thought his voice sounded familiar. Hey! Isn’t that Hiroshi Kitadani! The one who sang One Piece’s We Are! I thought he was from JAM Project but recently found out that he was associated with a few other groups like Lapis Lazuli and Stagger, as well as collaborated with other female singers, Masami Okui and Aki Misato.

Watching too much Milky Holmes, laughing at their silly retards and then mocking how dumb they are, has it really made me as stupid as them too? It would have been the case of the pot calling the kettle black and that it takes one to know one. Even being useless, they are still useful because it brings out the best in everybody else. You can only call yourself smart if there are stupid people around, right? Light and shadow must exist together. The question is when are they going to ever get back their Toys. It is not like they have lost it since they have shown signs that it is still there, dormant. Just too dumb to notice it all. Just like me. I’m here sitting and watching Milky Holmes rather than fulfilling my full potential to the company or nation, etc. Wow. If that is what it takes to achieve total bliss and happiness, I think I would want to remain in the comfort zone of being useless for now. Didn’t my father always call me a useless person since young? And I think I’m still on that streak of serial uselessness.

Before the start of the second season which is supposed to start in January 2012, there has been a release of a special episode called Tantei Opera Milky Holmes OVA. Yes, this single episode was enough to send back flooding memories about a bunch of ‘useless’ detective lolis even if they carry the great names of their famous detective forefathers. So bumbling and retard that their clumsiness and screw ups are the source of comedy and hilarity of the series. Do we really blame their lost of Toys or is it just them?

I’m not sure if this OVA is set after the events at the end of the TV series or somewhere in between. There was one flashback scene whereby it was from the final episode of the TV series (that was what I remembered) but then again at the end of the show, there is a next episode preview, which is one of the middle episodes in the TV series. Since this OVA is about Kokoro, I remember there was one episode whereby Irene kidnapped Kokoro so could it be a continuation from there? So could this be a missing episode in between or just something random. Heck, I couldn’t care less about that as long as they bring in the laughs.

The episode starts off with Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku preparing to infiltrate a heavily guarded mansion. It is a mission to rescue Kokoro taken as hostage. Probably the guards are just for show because the trio dispatches them easily like pros and when they arrive at the main room, their shock wasn’t seeing Milky Holmes at the scene but rather Kokoro happily singing like an idol in front of happy Irene. Uh… What’s going on? Anyway everyone is so thrilled by Kokoro’s singing that they join in the dance!!! WTF?! Till they realize each other. The girls are reprimanding Irene for kidnapping Kokoro but the smart girl gives and excuse that she found her unconscious on the road. Though, she was the one who made her that way. As for Kokoro, what’s with that getup? Feeling embarrassed? I’m sure she was just making up an excuse that they took too long to rescue her and thus dressed up like an idol to catch Irene off guard. Excuses, excuses… Well, Irene had 2 reasons why she ‘kidnapped’ Kokoro. Firstly, she’s cute (everyone has their weird fetishes) and secondly, her father’s company is going bankrupt. Again? The gold that she found was confiscated by the government. So Irene thought of turning Kokoro into an idol to scrounge up some money. Well, it’s not like Kokoro approved of it. Has she got a choice?

Back at the police headquarters. Seems G4’s office has been reduced to a narrow and cramped room. After all their failures and Kokoro’s recent kidnapping, I guess G4 has fallen down the ranks and got ‘reassigned’. The room is even smaller than Milky Holmes’ run down attic… Anyway Kokoro is shouting at the top of her lungs that she’s a police officer, bla bla bla, some unimportant flashbacks, bla bla bla, something about her IQ that has lots of zeroes in it (I agree with the zeroes and not any other number) that astounds those Harvard guys. Sheesh. You’re making the room feel even more cramp! Because her teammates aren’t interested, Kokoro threatens that she may take up Irene’s offer as an idol. You know what? They still don’t care! They don’t give a damn. Not a single sh*t! Kokoro panics and throws in a desperate move by saying that they’ll be lonely without her. Aren’t they going to stop her? Not interested… So much for friends. So how? I guess Kokoro is really desperate for some assurance so much so she ran down to Holmes Detective Academy to ask Milky Holmes if they will be lonely if she’s gone. Loser… Their reaction? They are ecstatic that she’s awakened to her idol side! Yeah, Nero wants to make character goods and sell them for profit! $$$ Ching! Ching! Even worse, Sherlock will support her all the way if that’s what she wants to achieve her dream. Fine. If that is how everybody wants to be, Kokoro slams her golden mask on the ground and calls it quits.

Soon Kokoro becomes the new idol in town, mesmerizing and racking up fans faster than filing up a glass of water. She attends lots of talk shows, lots of publicity and her face is literally everywhere in town. Kokoro! Kokoro! Kokoro! Come on. You want to cheer on her too, right? Yeah, that autography and hand shaking session has swelled her right hand. And you thought texting was the only reason that could sore your hands and fingers this big. While Irene is fawning over Kokoro, her dad is ecstatic that he can finally free himself from bankruptcy with all the money they have made. Milky Holmes is part of the crowd waiting to catch a glimpse of Kokoro coming out from the backstage into her limo. Sherlock calls out to her and her natural reaction was to protect herself from her gold mask. That didn’t happen. Did Kokoro hear her at all? Well, she’s in a different world now. So different that Sherlock feels somewhat empty. But why the heck is she bumming around at the cramp room of G3 (the new name for the police girls minus Kokoro)?! It’s already so cramp, they don’t need another one to fill in Kokoro’s shoes! Yeah, she’s annoying too… As Sherlock is feeling sad that Kokoro has gone away, Henriette reminds her of her duty to become a detective and not blame her uselesslesslesslessless-ness on someone else. This has Sherlock pondering the meaning of duty and dream.

The day of Kokoro’s concert, Arsene and her team steal Yokohama’s Red Shoes Riding Hood. Milky Holmes goes into action but they weren’t startled. Instead, they’re happy that they’ve found the meaning of duty and dream. Their duty as detectives and Kokoro’s dream of being an idol. What? Kokoro sees a news report of the battle between Phantom Thief Empire against Milky Holmes and G3. Looks like deep down in her heart, she is itching to get back into the action but Irene shuts the TV and passes her the mike. It’s idol time. Kokoro sings her heart out on stage while the battle rages on outside the stadium. Milky Holmes lives up to their useless reputation by getting beaten to a pulp. I’m wondering why Tsugiko and Hirano are fighting against each other? Saku is left ‘paralyzed’ when her lollipop is taken away from her mouth. Like taking candy from a baby, eh? Then the large screen in the stadium shows the battle outside. Kokoro stops for a while and is concerned but remembers that they didn’t give a damn about her because they didn’t even try to stop her from leaving. As she continues singing, she hears Sherlock confronting Arsene. Barely standing herself, Sherlock pours out her feelings on Kokoro. She didn’t want her to quit as a police officer and wanted her back because she was lonely (who else is going to hit her with the golden mask?). However she didn’t want to stop her from fulfilling her dream to become the world’s number one idol. So in order to put her at ease and not them see them in this pitiful state (too late girls), they have got to pull it together. For the sake of her dream. But Arsene doesn’t give a sh*t and kicks her away. Milky Holmes regroups and dart towards Arsene and her men. Look how cute they are dashing in tears, no? At that moment, Kokoro’s heart twitched. She knew what she wanted to do.

Before both sides could clash, a microphone is thrown between them. A girl in a golden mask stands before them. Heck, everyone can tell it’s you Kokoro. Then she throws her mask at Arsene but it hits Sherlock! Haha! I guess it’s her destiny to get whacked by it after all. So didn’t Kokoro give up being an officer? Well, she did not say she quit (eh? I thought she did? Did she forget?). That’s right, she’s back as a police officer. Oh boy. Milky Holmes and G3 are happy to see her and rush towards her to pester her for a plan. But being the stupid heroines they are, Arsene and her men got away scot free with the statue. Bummer. Another black mark in their records. Meanwhile Irene’s dad is in tears once more because he’s on the verge of bankruptcy. Something about he flopped big time selling his assets via foreign exchange. Maybe he should just leave running his company to Irene. As for that little smart girl, she isn’t giving up on Kokoro yet. Kokoro is back with a vengeance in the little cramp room. Yes, she’s laying down her goals but why the heck is Milky Holmes doing here? How cramp can the room get with 8 lolis in it?! While Sherlock is glad to have her back, Nero isn’t too happy because without her being an idol, all the character goods she made are now useless. Yup. She’s here to hand an invoice for the materials to make the goods. Yeah, why the hell must she pay! Lastly, Milky Holmes is watching a musical programme whereby Kokoro is supposed to star in and say her final goodbye to her fans. But it turns out to be Mori Arty making her debut song. The girls are taken in by her cuteness.

Idol Reject!
Yes, this OVA definitely lives up to its hype and serves as an appetizer before the second season. I’m very much anticipating to catch that to see more useless action from the bunch. They may be useless but they’re doing it in an annoyingly cute way so I guess that’s okay :). So basically this episode has Kokoro in focus as an idol though it feels as though she’s just trying to get back at her comrades for not caring enough for her. At moments you feel that even though she’s doing a fine perfect job as one, there is hesitation in her looks that could indicate that she misses the good ol’ police job. However if you really ask me, the police could be better off without her! Yeah, she should just join the Milky Holmes and become one big bungling family. On another note, I don’t think Kokoro would be good in any other jobs she ventures in. Haha! Is that an insult! Don’t worry, we all love you as much as we love Milky Holmes. Because of their twisted never-give-up attitude, it’s hard not to cheer for them. Looks like Arsene has still got a long way to make those loli detectives back to where they once were famed for. Oh, looks like they really stole the statue for good.

I think the number 130 is the number of the series. I don’t know what obsession Kokoro has with this number but this time her IQ level in this OVA just blew up to 1,300,000,000,000!!! I don’t even know how to pronounce this number. Then there are other times this number denomination appears like shaking hands with 1,300 people and her 130,000,000 copies of her debut CDs were sold. I thought the final number on Nero’s invoice should be 130,000,000 Yen instead of 38,000,000 Yen… The Gentlemen Thieves rarely had their screen time here. But it’s a good thing because it means we see less of Twenty’s self loving and distasteful nipples caressing antics. Well, there is one scene that he is scene kissing his life size bolster. So until then, my dream is that Milky Holmes never regain their Toys and continue fumbling in every mission and earn themselves a name in the Guinness Book of Records for being the most unreliable detectives in history. Or else they can quit and try being an idol. And fumble all over again.

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes

September 4, 2011

Who is the greatest phantom thief ever? Lupin, you say? What about the greatest detective? Detective Conan? Even if there is a cross-over movie about their battle of wits, this blog isn’t about them. Instead, where in the world would you find the world’s greatest fictional detectives of Sherlock Holmes, Cordelia Gray, Hercule Poirot and Nero Wolfe coming together as a team and combating and solving crimes together? In Tantei Opera Milky Holmes, that is! Well, at least their descendants.

In a typical detective comedy anime genre, we have Sherlock Shellingford, Cordelia Glauca, Hercule Barton and Nero Yuzurizaki as the quartet of the famous Milky Holmes team and of the famed Holmes Detective Academy which hones future detectives. Yes, not only they have their great forefathers as their background status, in this anime, the existence of Toys that grants users superhuman abilities and strengths. And thus, our Milky Holmes has always been protecting the city of Yokohama by thwarting the Phantom Thief Empire group, led by enigmatic and sexy Arsene and her band of fellow ‘gentlemen’ thieves consisting of swordsman Stone River, fire explosives expert Rat and the very-annoying, very-vain, self-proclaimed-most-beautiful-thing-in-the-world stripper but craft card magician Twenty.

Episode 1
However, Milky Holmes grand luxury life at the academy comes to a rude and abrupt halt. About a month ago while battling Arsene and her underlings to stop them from stealing a prized museum jewel, the detectives suddenly lost their Toys. As a result, Phantom Thief Empire got away scot-free with the jewel. Which also means, they’ve become relatively ‘useless’ and nothing but typical loli dykes. I mean, back at the academy, they get up late for class, take things for granted, blame each other and are even clumsy. Get what I mean? I guess it is part of Arsene’s plan to ‘revive’ their Toys back as the quartet infiltrate the academy grounds as school staff. Arsene as Henriette Mystere the student council president, Stone River as Ishinagare the gardener and cook, Twenty as Kai Nijuuri the sick-stripping homeroom teacher of Milky Holmes and Rat as Nezu their classmate (yeah, just Japanese translation of their original names). Perhaps the best phantom thief wants to only fight the best cream of the crop detective team so I suppose that’s why Arsene is ‘working real hard’ to get their Toys back as they were trained by the legendary detective Kobayashi Opera (note at all their awards and certificates decorating the room). Losing their Toys even makes them worse off than before as they don’t even fare well in their studies. Henriette notes that though they have been skilled detectives, the pampered lives in their dorms may have caused them to fall greatly. Thus she puts the Milk Holmes team to a test to diffuse a time bomb in any way they can. If they are successful, they will continue to enjoy the privileges that they deserved as the famous detective, otherwise they will stand to lose everything simply because, you can’t house a bunch of useless good-for-nothing lolis if they can’t even produce a simple result, right? Yeah, no special favour. Besides, it’s to see if their separation from Toys is a temporary one or not (what the heck is that useless uselesslessless uselesslesslessness tongue twister?!). Try as they might and no matter how hard, they couldn’t use their Toys and in the end the bomb explodes (ripping their certificate). Henriette announces their expulsion. However to be fair, she gives them 3 months to improve in which failure means absolute expulsion. Milky Holmes are grateful to her that they have a second chance. That is just the good news. Everything else, goes downhill from now. They have been kicked out of their individual rooms and are now placed in a creaky humid attic. Yeah, now they have to share a bed. They start blaming each other if the other had stopped the bomb in time but Sherlock says not to fight among themselves and that they promised each other to cooperate and become fine detectives. Well, better start working hard. Three months isn’t a long time.

Episode 2
Erm… Do we see them striving their best to amend the wrongs? Nope. Instead, we see them fighting over little food crumbs. Yeah, food has become such a scarcity. How does it feel like to live the life of the poor? As for Phantom Thief Empire, they’re making headlines with their steal once more. Hey, Milky Holmes isn’t there to stop them anymore, right? In school, more food woes for Milky Holmes. Not only they have been put at a rundown table, their food ration has been significantly decreased! From a roast pork to just a little potato? Be grateful, damn it! Yeah, they’re really breaking apart. Then in class, it’s no more first class tables but broken and shabby ones. On the positive side, since mushrooms are growing out of it, why not collect them and make a mushroom meal? Ever thought of it being poisonous? Heck, who cares? Hungry lolis can’t complain. And Nijuuri is upset that they’re cooking the mushrooms in the middle of art class (?!) than drawing his beautiful body. Sicko. WTF?! Sickly erected nipples?! Oh God?! Somebody stop this guy! It’s a sin not to look at his beautiful body?! WTF?! Milky Holmes are punished and as usual they argue. Later Sherlock finds a stray kitten and brings it home. Calling it Kamaboko (some fish paste – all they ever think about is food now), the little kitten does wonders in their strained relationship as the quartet are happy just with Kamaboko around. Plus, they have to keep it a secret since dorm rules disallow them to keep pets. Then one day, Ishinagare finds that the bread for other students are stolen and accuses Milky Holmes for stealing them due to their quarrel the other day (“I will sell my soul to the devil just to eat those bread”). Other ambiguous actions also points to them like Cordelia not hungry and Hercule not stopping their wrongdoings. However Cordelia notices the real culprit stealing bread in the background: Kamaboko. For the sake of the kitten and her friends, she decides to take the blame and admits she is the thief. She is thrown into prison while the rest try to bail her out. But seeing that they’re great (make that ex) detectives, they decide to do some good old investigation. Anyway their methods suck. Eventually the trail of bread crumbs lead them back to their attic as they see Kamaboko happily eating the bread it stole. Then they see a (lousy) sketch from Cordelia, how she values their friendship and realized she took the blame. And Cordelia must be going crazy since she manages to draw and fantasize her noble act as a great saviour. Maybe it’s just self-gratification after all. Soon Cordelia is released. As Henriette learns the truth and true culprit, she too admits that she is wrong for jumping to conclusions without doing proper investigations. But she asserts that keeping pets are still prohibited. However if the pet has already found a place to settle down, then it can’t be helped. You know what this means, right? Hooray. They can keep Kamaboko. And everybody goes back to have a good night’s sleep in their cramped bed while Stone River undergoes more self training for making such a blunder.

Episode 3
As they watch the news, a group of policewomen known as Genius 4 or G4, led by Kokoro Akechi, Tsugiko Zenigata, Hirano Hasegawa and Saku Tooyama are confident of nabbing Phantom Thief Empire since Milky Holmes weren’t able too. Plus, Kokoro is badmouthing the detectives and even showing them the middle finger (blurted out of course)! Milky Holmes invited themselves to help out but gets into all sorts of blunders and traps. This time the museum is heavily guarding a Venus-like statue. Kokoro doesn’t like those useless lolis one bit (always smacking Sherlock with her golden mask each time she calls her Kokoro-chan) and decides to play a devilish prank on them to regain their toys about playing some Twister-like game based on a Pharaoh’s lithograph. All lies! But Milky Holmes sincerely believed her! Makes you wonder how the heck they became cream of the crop. Did they lose their intelligence to when they lost their Toys? Milky Holmes obediently listen and do all the stretching Twister moves in hopes of getting their Toys back, much to Kokoro’s amusement. Finally the whole ‘process’ fails when Hercule couldn’t do a move which puts her in an embarrassing sex-like position and causes everyone else to fall. G4 gets back to work while Nero blames Hercule for her failure. Then Phantom Thief Empire arrives with the entire place blackening out. Cordelia has a fear of dark places so she’s going crazy. G4 are led on a wild goose chase due to Arsene’s illusion Toys. In the end, the thieves got away due to another blooper from Cordelia after she trips and destroys Saku’s computer that would’ve bring them to the culprit’s hideout. Milky Holmes are thrown into jail and it’s mind blowing that they’re relishing jail food! Haven’t eaten this much since they’ve lost their privileges, eh? Henriette comes by to bail them out since the academy’s reputation is at stake if they’re left here for eternity. Back in their attic, Nero continues to blame Hercule so she runs away. Thinking she must’ve felt responsible, they rush back to the museum to see her doing those Twister moves. They apologize and made up but it seems the gentlemen thieves are also here to return the statue (because it was fake in the first place). They start facing each other and in a twist of fate, Cordelia and Twenty got trapped in a coffin together. Oh the horror! She’s going to die from the grossness before the darkness could even get to her. Everyone cooperates to get them out but to no avail. Till Cordelia yells that something weird is touching her did Hercule suddenly lifts the top lid, throws it away so much so it landed and crush a parked car outside! Thankfully, it was just some strange mask was touching her. Why is Twenty wearing it?! Anyway the baddies retreat while the girls think that for that moment, their Toys returned. What does this mean? It means they go back and try that ridiculous Twister game again. Give it up already! Too dumb to even realize that it’s fake! Besides, shouldn’t they be helping G4 clean up the museum mess?

Episode 4
But God is fair because Kokoro gets a taste of her own medicine as she is being beaten up and made to do those embarrassing Twister moves. They finally found out the truth, huh? But no time for that as they are tasked to look for a girl, Irene Doala who went missing in Yokohama Forest that is close to the academy. Milky Holmes want to help out too but was tied up. Who knows the nuisance they will bring. Unfortunately I don’t know why the G4 tied them up with ropes that are edible. It took those hungry gluttons no time to chew everything up. They try to summon their Toys but all they summoned was just a giant black ferocious bear. It slammed Sherlock away. She finds herself following a group of lemmings leaping off the cliff to their doom. Is she going to follow? I don’t know what to say. She did. I don’t know how this happened too because she started flying somewhere when a speck of water got into her eye as she finds herself in a cave with someone familiar. G4 continues their search but Kokoro fell into a hole in the ground and ends up in the same cave with Sherlock and Irene. Now, Irene isn’t a damsel in distress. In fact, she is much more reliable and smarter than her rescuers. However after seeing cute Kokoro, she develops some kind of stupid imouto-chan fetish over her. Darkness falls so the other Milky Holmes return but follow a banana trail that leads them to being locked up by Henriette and co. They fell for the oldest trick in the book. But no matter, they seem to be enjoying their bananas. Sherlock and Kokoro learn that Irene’s dad’s company is going bankrupt soon so she wanted to save him by looking for some buried treasure based on some Warring States legend. She found it in this cave but it’s useless if she doesn’t get out and the deadline is tomorrow. The next day, they got out of the cave and start their trek home through the forest. How come it feels like Irene was the one saving and guiding them through? They take a break and fight over the last ration that Irene has: A banana. Then they come into that black bear again. Sherlock is going to protect the duo but gets owned instead. Irene temporarily throws a banana at it to buy them some time (and they thought she had no more bananas left). Then Sherlock suggests some resonating moves but they got owned again by the bear. All that’s left is to run away and I’m not sure why the heck a self destruct button is in the forest so they’re actually saved when the bear steps on it. I don’t know what it unlocked. Heck, I don’t even understand all this nonsense. Soon the other G4 girls come in their helicopter to rescue them. With the company saved, Irene bids farewell to G4, she knocks Kokoro unconscious and kidnaps her! I’m amazed that the rest didn’t notice about this. Have they gotten use to her absence? And for Sherlock, she is disheartened that her gang gave up searching for her and instead feast on the bananas till they’re bloated. Meanie!

Episode 5
While having their poor picnic of grilled mushrooms in the park, Hercule tries to rescue Kamaboko from being run over by a truck but they were saved by a pair of flashy girls, Mary and Kate (I hope they have got nothing to do with the Olsen twins). Was it necessary to even explode the truck? However it seems that the pair have ulterior motives as they plan to capture Kamaboko. Back in the attic, Milky Holmes are admiring the great detectives the pair may be while Kamaboko is in risk of being kidnapped by the said pair. While chasing it, they bump into Twenty who is annoyingly dating a pillow cover version of himself! F*cking gross! Then they accidentally meet Milky Holmes and have to play along as some sort of great detectives they admire. The lolis are too dumb to even sense that they’re here to kidnap Kamaboko but thankfully it’s their fluke that ‘foils’ Kate and Mary’s plans. They continue their chase over the kitten and successfully capture it when the lolis were engrossed in their mushroom grilling. Milky Holmes go in search for Kamaboko and Henriette approves of it since it will put to use their detective searching skills. They go around asking the people and stumble upon G3. Who? It’s G4 less Kokoro for now. Yeah, she’s really being kidnapped by a certain genius kid. Meanwhile Mary and Kate are going to have their revenge on Kamaboko and SPCA would’ve taken action for their animal abuse if not for the gentlemen thieves busting in. They are here to bring justice to them for trespassing through Arsene’s territory (the academy grounds) that night. Then they see the walls filled with pictures of Kamaboko. Actually, it is their ex-lover who resembles very much like Kamaboko. Yeah, they’ve already drawn graffiti on its face. So as they fight, it’s the case of revenge for being dumped. They were promised that there will be no feelings in which of the duo he’d choose but dumped them. Maybe it’s because they’re messed up? The funny part was how Twenty’s bolster took a hit and he was inconsolable that his beautiful best buddy sacrificed himself for him. Didn’t he throw the bolster instead? Kamaboko is reunited with Milky Holmes as they head towards where the battle is taking place. Twenty and Stone River got hypnotized into Mary and Kate’s ecstasy Toys while Rat escapes upon his comrade’s advice. Mary and Kate shift their attention to Kamaboko but Rat decides to throw a bomb at them. Kamaboko deflects it and sends the gentlemen thieves flying into the sky. Mary and Kate felt grateful that it saved them from a darkness of revenge from their hearts and brought them back to the light. Milky Holmes see them off in a ship.

Episode 6
Princess Claris of Marlo kingdom is upset that she has to get married to Prince Pero of Lipa kingdom. Anyway I don’t know how Kokoro returned to G4 but she’s complaining that they need to babysit her. Unfortunately too much blabbing means Claris could sneak out without any detection. It’s total freedom and a normal life she seeks. Meanwhile Milky Holmes yearn for a dehumidifier since their place is getting all damp in this rainy condition. They all have this great idea of gathering elsewhere instead of cooping up here. Sherlock bumps into Henriette (her face literally stuck between her cleavage!). Henriette reminds them about finding a way to retrieve their Toys but after seeing the determination in her eyes, she believes her. In the streets, they see on the screen Claris (she is here to be wedded with Pero in Yokohama) and thought it was Sherlock. Yeah, they look very alike. After dispelling it, they notice Sherlock is missing. Sherlock bumps into the real Claris in the alley. Claris wants Sherlock to be her substitute just for a day (she knows of Sherlock due to the badmouthing of a certain cop). Of course she wasn’t going to accept it but the word of ‘great detective’ seems to defeat all other rational. Yup, take the job. As a reward, Sherlock wants a dehumidifier. Uhn… They trade clothes and really look like a splitting image of the other. Milky Holmes find Sherlock (Claris) and drags her away while Claris’ grandma Marple is reprimanding them for their failed watch when Claris (Sherlock) suddenly returns. She is being reminded about the importance of their marriage since the fate of Marlo depends on it (if Lipa finances them, there’s nothing else to be said, eh?). And why the heck is Marple doing those weird squats while explaining this to her? Then Pero comes in. Hmm… Looks like the handsome macho gentlemen hunk. But wait, he wants her to say “meow” at the end of her sentences? Could he be?

Meanwhile the real Claris is really happy to be living a normal life with the rest so much so it brings tears to her eyes. Wow. Never experienced simple happiness before, eh? As for Sherlock, it turns out that Pero is some sort of a masochist pervert. Doesn’t Sherlock hate him? Heck, she’s having fun!!! Of course with both look-a-likes switching places, Sherlock can’t even sleep even if her bed is big and wide or her meals sumptuous. Claris is getting used to it no matter how much it sucks and loving it. She thinks that she can run away and dump all the responsibilities on Sherlock but the latter remains confident she will return. Henriette knows Claris’ disguise and talks to her, asking if this is alright. She mentions about her dream of living a normal life but now she has to marry a guy she doesn’t even love. Henriette replies she can’t obtain her dreams by running away unlike Sherlock who is trying her best to become a great detective. This opens Claris’ eyes so she decides to reveal her true identity to the other Milky Holmes girls. They don’t believe her! Till she tells the real value of pi! Oh sh*t! Is that all it takes? They’re going to storm the wedding hall but G4 stands in their way. As usual, they don’t believe she’s the real Claris till she blurts out pi’s value. Unbelievable! Yeah, probably it tells us Sherlock and co has always been dumb girls. The wedding is going to end as Sherlock starts panicking that Claris hasn’t returned yet. Plus, it’s kissing time. Oh, the horrible lips! Luckily the rest barge in in time and stop the ceremony. Claris reveals her true self and says she cannot marry Pero. Plus, she will not run away and will achieve peace within both kingdoms with her own hands. The crowd applause as Pero admits that he did all those masochist perverted stuff to get her to hate him. That’s because he has somebody else he loves: Marple. Argh! He proposes to Marple and the ugly lips locked. Eww… The ceremony continues with their holy union as Milky Holmes got the dehumidifier as their prized treasure. And why the heck is Sherlock playing S&M with herself?! Finding it nice? Oh dear. I hope she won’t be addicted to it. Hey, everyone come join in! Not!

Episode 7
Phantom Thief Empire are at Phantom Thief Killer Cape. It is believed a multimillionaire named Baskerville hid his lifetime collection of artworks here. Many have tried to infiltrate but none was ever successful. Looks like their plan will need some modification since Milky Holmes are here for vacation (they have to trek here since they have no money for a bus fare. Poor things) and also heard about that cape thingy which they believe will bring their Toys back (they heard it from a certain stripper teacher’s slip of tongue). Hey, G4 are here too. Henriette plays along with the girls while the guys hide and plan their move. Milky Holmes get hungry and try to get some seafood but they’re so useless and beyond help that even their crab got stolen by the seagull, got entangled by the seaweeds or get hit by Tsugiko’s bat instead of the watermelon (now she knows why there is a watermelon ‘growing’ on the beach, eh?). Since it started to rain, the ladies take refuge in a cave. As they trek deeper, there are suspicious signs pointing to the treasure. Of course, they activated a trap and cause them to be separated. Kokoro, Tsugiko, Hirano, Cordelia and Hercule falling to the bottom of the pit and the rest carrying on. Henriette’s group enter into an area that resembles a luxurious mansion. Nero triggers another trap (picking up a coin from the ground) and causes Henriette to be separated as she is switched into a secret room. The rest read on a library of books for clues of the treasure while Kokoro’s group strip themselves naked to make a rope long enough to climb themselves out. Why is Cordelia so enthusiastic about stripping? This leads them to a hotspring area but they are being attacked by a giant squid. Oh no. Tentacles. However Cordelia becomes some made monster because she sees it as a meal… Henriette finds herself in a room with a bikini mannequin while Saku also joins her when she activates a trap that sends her falling into that room. Sherlock and Nero are in a room with a safe. Nero tries using her Toys to open it but to no avail. However it opens probably it’s an old safe. They find a collection of idol figurines in it. Then cold water starts filling the room. Nero again tries to use her Toys to communicate with the safe. Though the water stopped, now hot water comes pouring in and they’re washed away to another room. Everyone is reunited in the hotspring area and having a good squid meal while enjoying their soaking moments. Henriette realizes how it has become ridiculous to even steal from this Phantom Thief Killer now. As for the gentlemen thieves, they’re adrift at sea with no food for 3 straight days.

Episode 8
Milky Holmes fall ill. Seems it was another black-hearted prank of Kokoro making them eat ice cream till they brain freeze, meditating under a waterfall and freeze themselves in the freezer. Yeah, it’s amazing they’re still this gullible. I know they’re desperate to get their Toys returned but to ask Kokoro for help? Of all people? She’s really enjoying and laughing her heart out. Bad girl. Even her G4 mates think so. Even Henriette takes pity on them and decides to nurse them back to health. The next day, Milky Holmes are good as healthy but this time Henriette collapses and has caught their illness. Now it’s their turn to take care of her. The gentlemen thieves want to have the honour of ‘cleaning her sweat off her naked body’ but the girls insist that the guys should stay out of this. They decide to change her clothes and the only one they could find in her closet is… Oh dear! It’s her sexy phantom thief suit! Oh no! Will her identity be blown? G4 are paying a visit at the academy (I guess Kokoro still wants to see the Milky Holmes suffer by bringing some iced peach cans) when they heard Milky Holmes yelling “Arsene”! They barge in and are surprised to see Arsene lying in the bed but being told by Milky Holmes she is Henriette. The gentlemen thieves are worried that this pinch is going to get worse and have to do something. But don’t worry. They don’t even have to lift a single finger. Why? How do the girls dismiss that Arsene is Henriette? Sherlock’s answer: She loves to cosplay! Oh sh*t! Everyone buys it! And for that moment, the guys thought she’d be a goner but remember, they’re retards. Big time. Anyway they change Henriette into her pyjamas as they try to nurse her by concocting medicine based on fairytales. Are they even attainable? I’m not sure the kind of medicine Sherlock mixed (it must be dangerous since it was mosaic out) and poured into Henriette’s mouth. She starts glowing and everyone becomes absorbed into some sort of twisted fairytale. Some Momotarou legend Sherlock is, trying to retrieve some peach at Arsene Island but meets the gentlemen thieves as obstacles. It gets more twisted when they fight Arsene using her boobs as missiles but their combined Toys allows them to defeat her. Henriette is fed by Sherlock a delicious peach. She wakes up and sees the other girls knocked out on the floor. She notes that Milky Holmes’ Toys returned to them briefly albeit it was only in the middle of her illusion Toys. Twenty’s crap words: “The world is beautiful. But I am even more beautiful”. Henriette thanks them for nursing her as Milky Holmes wonder what her Toys power is. Then they see Kokoro receiving her much deserved divine retribution as she is stuck in the giant ice and getting sick. Oh yeah. God is fair.

Episode 9
While Milky Holmes are happily pigging out with their poor meal, they are joined by another student, Sonia and even Nezu. Seems it is to celebrate the 1 year anniversary Sonia met her senpai Sherlock. Hercule finds an Ouija Board and their curiosity has them asking it if their Toys will return. Nezu pans them for fixing the outcome. To prove it, he tells them to ask which among them is the stupidest! They’re really fighting to pinpoint the answer! They then change the question to who is the meanest. Yeah, how come it quickly spells Nezu’s name? Later Nezu walks Sonia back to her dorm but shortly, he is being attacked. Next day, G4 is conducting some boring road safety class (everyone except Sherlock) and after the class, Kokoro finds a trail which leads her to see Nezu’s dead body in a room! As everyone is shocked over his death, Henriette shows them a picture which might implicate Milky Holmes as the perpetrator because Nezu’s wrote the initials of “M.H.” in blood before his death. They insist they are innocent but she wants them to prove it by tomorrow or she’ll hand them over to the police. Milky Holmes decide to request for their ancestor’s help via Ouija Board. It seems to work as the baldy (Hercules), the busty boobs (Cordelia) and fatty (Nero) possess their counterparts. Calling Henriette and Kokoro to the scene, they use their great detective deduction skills to solve the mystery of the initials. Erm… How come the theories sound so stupid?! No wonder their descendants share it! They deduct the culprit based on the animal they could draw on it? Monkey? Hamster? WTF?! Then a bronze statue of Sherlock Holmes comes crashing in as the spirit of the great detective possesses Sherlock. He’s late because he possessed the wrong statue. Oh no. Please not another idiot. Thankfully, Sherlock’s deduction is top class this time, deducting that the victim may not know the murderer’s name so he tried to convey what he remembered about the murderer, in this case via some numerals.

So “M.H.” by reading it in a different direction is “I-3”, which is the dorm block number. And the culprit is no other than Sonia who launches an attack on everyone. Sherlock Holmes’ spirit whisks Henriette away from harm and he whispers in her ear that he knows she’s the phantom thief Arsene. He starts chasing her but I don’t understand the necessity to use their telekinesis powers to uproot buildings and throw it to each other. Wow! I didn’t know Sherlock Holmes has such terror telekinesis! Besides, why does he need to avoid them if he’s just a spirit? In the end, he saves Sonia from falling off the roof. Nezu is seen alive and he doesn’t need to play dead anymore. The great ancestors take their leave and leave them a huge message on the ground, saying that they will get their Toys back after a great trial. Later Henriette sees Sonia and knows that she schemed all this so that Milky Holmes would earn back the respect they once lost. Plus, the message was written by her and not the victim and this means Milky Holmes will move to solve the case whether they want to or not since they’re being doubted. Due to the severity of the case, she has Sonia expelled but recommends her to start over again at Poirot Detective Academy because she feels she should not waste her Toys but become a great detective instead and not a phantom thief. Milky Holmes pray to Nezu’s altar and use the Ouija Board to talk to him but he barges in proclaiming he isn’t dead. They think he’ a ghost coming down to visit them! Something still bugs me. If Henriette didn’t realize it was Sonia’s plan till the end, does this mean Nezu secretly cooperated with Sonia for this?

Episode 10
Milky Holmes are excited over the prospect of their returned Toys. Henriette is expecting high hopes from them with the upcoming exam but they would like to go gather first. Hercule tries to persuade them to study but eventually gives in to their persistence to have fun. Yeah, they wasted a whole week gathering and having fun instead of studying. The gentlemen thieves are pondering the possibility of them getting their Toys back (on an unrelated note, notice a shirt being hang out to dry with the words “I Love Boku” – no prize to guess whose shirt this belongs to). The trio reminiscence the time they first met. Let’s say they aren’t the best of friends. Heck, they’re rivals. As they fight over each other while stealing jewellery, Arsene’s appearance and her display of her illusion Toys has them offering their services to her. Seeing that they are this weak to give in to their desires, she wants them to commit themselves to become phantom thieves with beauty and intelligence. Thus in their journey to ‘redeem’ back their pride, they swore loyalty to Arsene and to her cause. Of course, they start arguing themselves over their petty differences. And Milky Holmes are the one to say how lame it is after watching from afar their Toys going berserk. On the day of the exam, Milky Holmes undergo very weird tests that include a game show quiz, moving an elephant, staring into Twenty’s erected nipples and beautiful body (I can’t believe Cordelia drooled over it!) and some sort of bowling with them as the pins. In short, they failed them all. Henriette isn’t pleased. While Milky Holmes lament about their failures and the non-return of their Toys, they hear a report that Arsene challenges them to a trial that will decide whether they get expelled or not. Sherlock realizes that this is the trial that should have their Toys return and the ones they have taken are just tests (I guess there’s a difference in that). With high spirits, they head to the museum (got caught in G4’s trap again).

Inside, Milky Holmes face off with the gentlemen thieves but the trio are so focused in their petty feud, they couldn’t be bothered with Milky Holmes’ arrival. Why is Sherlock so insistent on announcing that they have arrived? She’s even concerned that they shouldn’t fight among themselves because it would be just like them. So when they do realize it’s those useless lolis, they do some tetrahedron formation. I don’t know the significance of this but how will Milky Holmes get out of this? They desperately try to summon their Toys but again to no avail. Then a blackout occurs. You can count Cordelia out. Then Sherlock decides to use a bomb they used during the test (where the heck did she hide that?). The guys escape while the bomb explodes, making a gaping hole in the building. I’m surprised Milky Holmes are still in one piece. This time, Kokoro’s upset is real. With the way they messed things out, she yells at them to get out of their crime scene. The guys return to Arsene while continuing to blame each other for their pettiness, it seems Arsene is in no mood for it. She is so mad that when she hits the wall, the entire top of the tower twist and bend worse than being bombarded by WWII bombers. Oh sh*t! Milky Holmes trudge back in the rain to their dorm but suddenly their room catches fire. Then they see Henriette. Looks like she has had enough. Her face is visibly upset. Very. She throws down their expulsion papers. Oh dear.

Episode 11
As Sherlock leaves, she bumps into a very displeased (enough to even scare me) Henriette. She apologizes for everything and thus Milky Holmes is disbanded as they leave the academy in shame, each going their own ways. The rest didn’t like her idea of bowing and saying goodbye and thanks to the academy. Meanwhile Henriette takes out her frustration by smashing all the awards, trophies and certificates of Milky Holmes in her room. She thinks everything turned out like this because she wasn’t serious enough. Sherlock continues to work in a ramen stall but she is so clumsy and useless (including pissing off her customers with her klutz), it makes you wonder why the owner didn’t fire her. Her buddies aren’t faring any better. Selling flowers? Selling magazines? Ouija Board prediction? Better avoid them. G4 pays a visit at Sherlock’s workplace and tells her about Phantom Thief Empire’s rampaging robberies. They’re on a hot streak. Sherlock goes to gather her other pals and then they see another news with Arsene announcing that she plans to make Yokohama a phantom thief haven by crushing the academy. Henriette is seen hanging precariously over the rapid river on a bridge. She invites those with a sense of justice to come rescue her. With every 2 hours, a string will be snapped and she will be closer to her doom. After the transmission, we see it’s actually Twenty impersonating as Arsene and the real deal is hanging over the bridge. I hate to admit it, but who is more qualified to play a beauty like her? Yeah, this is going to be a do-or-die bait. Milky Holmes aren’t confident of going to her rescue seeing that they are normal (and useless) girls now and hopes G4 will pull through. Speaking of which, they are first to arrive but are easily taken out and captured by the gentlemen thieves. Milky Holmes resume their jobs but Sherlock tries to convince everyone to go save Henriette. She nails it in when she gets all teary and says that they’ve got their priorities wrong if they put becoming great detectives first and saving others second. Plus, it isn’t about getting revenge on the person who expelled them and their failures are because they gave up halfway, gave up on themselves. This opens their eyes as they reconcile and don their detective suits to go to Henriette’s rescue. Can they make it in time?

Irene’s limo was passing by so she gives them a lift. Then they get a delivery from Sonia. It seems to be a ring infused with a single dose of her Toys’ power. Sherlock should be able to use it since it is from her same bloodline. And yeah, why did Claris send royal plates over? The gentlemen thieves are bored since they’ve taken out just about everyone. Then when Milky Holmes come by, they aren’t alerted, thinking they’re still the useless lolis. However to their surprise, they hit their raw nerve when they call them coward for holding hostages (Stone River), ugly (Twenty – oh, that’s got to hurt) and… Rabbit (Rat)? Cordelia, Nero and Hercule hold off the trio while Sherlock rushes to save Henriette. How can a bunch of lolis hold down full grown men? It’s called determination. When Sherlock reaches out her hand for Henriette, it’s part of her plan to detonate the last rope. Sherlock dives down to save her. Sonia’s ring temporarily gives Sherlock her Toys power but it is too overwhelming as the ring breaks. Falling again? She grabs on tightly to Henriette and probably deep down in her heart she wanted to save her so much that she got her Toys back! Then the other Milky Holmes also feel that they are getting their Toys back and put them to good use. For once, the gentlemen thieves get serious but they are no match and get a serious trashing! As Sherlock pulls Henriette up, the latter pushes her away and unleashes a smoke screen. She transforms into Arsene and relishes the chance she has been waiting for all this time: To fight and defeat the real and powered up Sherlock.

Episode 12
The other gentlemen thieves are pounded to a pulp as the other Milky Holmes join Sherlock in a Toys power battle with Arsene. Seems she too has powered up as the entire Yokohama citizens watch the decisive battle in baited breath. Milky Holmes combine their Toys to attack Arsene but each try makes her crave for more. She’s really enjoying the moment of fighting those detectives at their top form. The fight continues to a different dimension as Arsene unleashes clones of herself. In the climax of the face-off between Arsene’s giant fireball and Sherlock’s pink little energy projection, suddenly Sherlock got too close to Arsene and has her face stuck in her boobs. She is reminded of the bounciness and softness and is happy that Henriette is alright. However surprised Arsene denies it. Sherlock’s pals didn’t believe at first but taking up her advice to touch her boobs, they instantly believe it’s Henriette! I guess that’s her trademark. No matter how much Arsene denies, the retards firmly believe she is their student council president. Even if her mask falls off. Arsene summons a meteor to send the entire place crashing down to the academy grounds. Milky Holmes look very funny with their heads sticking out from the ground like grown vegetables. Arsene is in for another surprise when Milky Holmes identify her as the phantom thief instead. Amidst the blabbing confusing, Arsene deduces that the impact and shock must have made them lose their memories. Arsene decides to withdraw for now and give Henriette back to them but will not lose the next time. The schoolmates rush to Milky Holmes’ side and help out their revived heroes. Arsene and her men are looking forward to more battles with them.

Next day, Milk Holmes are given a certificate of appreciation, much to Kokoro’s reluctance. Everyone is cheering on for them. How does it feel to be back in the spotlight? Kokoro isn’t happy that they let Arsene get away but Henriette mentions that there will be another chance for that. In the packed hall, Sherlock is going to treat everyone with a demonstration of their returned Toys. A rock is sent crashing onto her. It crashes onto her! Wait a minute… What the?! Don’t tell me?! Oh no! Seems like not only the impact made them lose their memories, but their Toys as well! See how everybody’s face turn into despair and disappointment. Except for Kokoro and the gentlemen thieves who are happy they’ve returned to their retarded ways. Even Henriette is lost for words and quickly ends the ceremony. So, back to the dull life for Milky Holmes as they trek back to their room expecting to be expelled. However they get a present surprise it is back to normal and cleaned up. All thanks to Henriette. As mentioned, though they have lost their Toys, you can deny the fact that they saved Yokohama. That means, their expulsion will be… postponed till spring. Dang. And they thought it’ll be cancelled for good. But the quartet are happy that they’re together and since they have each other, nothing is impossible. Oh well Henriette. Looks like it’s going to be another tiring season if this keeps this up. Lastly a new transfer student barges in and is excited of meeting them. She is Mori Arty and knows them all. The quartet finds her cute and takes a liking for her. For those who don’t know, the character named Professor Moriarty is Sherlock Holmes’ greatest arch enemy in the stories. Ironic, eh?

Bungling detectives…
I have to admit that everything has been a fun ride from the start till the finish. There were laugh out moments and this is definitely one of the good comedy series that I’ve seen in recent times. You could say that this show is on par with Shinryaku! Ika Musume and Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt that I too enjoyed. It’s hard for me to totally recommend this series for the family to watch. I know, cute little girls running around may seem harmless but the only reason why I’m stopping my suggestion at that is perhaps of Arsene/Henriette’s over-sized and bouncy boobs. Man, do they even exist? How does she keep it all tightly wrap under that school dress? In a little way, you can call that fanservice. Oh, another factor why this isn’t for kids: Twenty. That guy says it all. Don’t want your kids to have a bad influence from this stripper, eh? The flow of the story is at a good pace as we mainly see how Milky Holmes try to regain their lost Toys by going through lots of tough trial and tribulations. Usually with hilarious and disastrous results. Each time you can’t help feel that glimmer of hope that their Toys will return for the moment but in the end, it all turns back to square one. Even if their Toys temporarily return, was it really fluke? When someone they love is in great danger, could it only be then that their Toys will return? The mystery and reason of their Toys’ disappearance is never explained nor given priority that it will be revealed somehow and though this feels like it needs some investigation but I don’t think that case will be solved any time given the way Milky Holmes are right not.

Milky Holmes as fallen detectives are a bunch of fun loving lolis. It’s hard to hate them since their fall from grace not only because they’re cute but the fact that they never gave up. Other than that, it’s hard to wonder if they’re the genius detectives they once were. I mean, their ‘stupidity’ and retardness is well, genuine from then. From being selfish spoilt brats to happy go lucky simpletons (all they worried at first is food and are easily swayed by it) to annoying useless dumb asses that obstruct others, even if you throw the clues and answers right in front of their faces, they’ll never be able to guess it. So much so I concluded that the only reason why they don’t really lose out is because they’re the heroines. Nothing else. Sheesh. Even the baddies are much more competent than them a hundred times even if one them really has a personality problem. Makes you wonder that they just inherited the name from their great ancestors. At the rate they’re going, they are going to sully and tarnish it. They’d even turn over in their graves. How can a famous detective academy even house such disgraceful retards? How could this even be possible? But you have to give it them and especially Sherlock for their sunny disposition as she is the one that glues the rest together. Hercule is too shy, Nero is too brute and tomboyish while Cordelia is, well, too delusional when she becomes afraid. Say, if Cordelia’s Toys is to see and hear things that others could not, how come she couldn’t sense that Henriette is Arsene then? Oh yeah, retard…

Aside from those ‘idiots’, Kokoro should have fittingly been part of the group if not for her utmost detest for the detectives. She thinks she is hell of a smart each time proudly stating her IQ level, which by the way increases 10 times fold from the 130 level to 130 billion by the time the series ended. Did she magnify that on purpose? Or does she have memory problems in keeping track of her own IQ? Not very smart, eh? Besides, I have no qualms if she even reaches 130 trillion. Yeah, I admit you’re smart. In monkey land whereby the average IQ is 130 quadrillion (that’s 15 zeros, baby!). And she’s a graduate from Harvard? Yeah, my dog also graduated from there with First Class Honours in Business Administration. It’s sad she ended up as the leader of G4 and even her partners are more ‘human’ than her. Even if Saku’s face is always monotonous like her voice, at least she’s more considerate than Kokoro. The only thing that scares Kokoro downright is the mentioning of Irene’s name. Oh yeah. She’s developed some sort of trauma in the end. After all, she personally knows how it feels to be kidnapped and treated like a doll. Hey, how the heck did she escaped from Irene’s grasp in the final episode? Besides it’s not like with Kokoro around, G4 gets the job done anyway. Detectives or police, what’s the difference if they’re retards? No wonder phantom thieves like Arsene can’t be caught.

Arsene/Henriette is full of mysteries and you can’t understand what is going on in her mind. It’s understandable that she wants to beat Milky Holmes at their top form but to go as far as to nurture them and even help them under the disguise as school staffs along with her men, how many baddies in other series do you know are this considerate? Put it this way. If you have put in lots of effort in growing and planting a fruit, when it ripens, it is going to taste a lot more delicious when you pluck it, right? Arsene has a short taste of that and looks like the fruit needs more tending if she’s going to enjoy the ultimate reap. One of the most disgusting and annoying character is Twenty. You have to agree with me on this. Each time, he never fails to deluge himself the super beauty he is (only second to Arsene, that is). He gets his thrills by not only stripping but molesting his own nipples!!! Yikes! Each time he is stimulated, you can grossly see how erected his nipples become! The more aroused he is, the longer his nipples! Oh sh*t!!! During such scenes, it makes me want to laugh and also flinch at the same time. So uncouth, so sickening but yet so funny. Well, it serves as a good lesson that I will NEVER do such a thing. Ever. On another thought, I think the gentlemen thieves will also be retards if they aren’t under the guidance of Arsene. So looks like Arsene is the only and real genius out of all the characters in here. Yeah, the world is filled with so many stupid people. So I guess even if Clark Kent admits himself as Superman here, you could say his secretly is definitely safe. Heck, Milky Holmes couldn’t identify Nijuuri as Twenty when he starts stripping and thought the latter just reminded them of the former. What more can I say? As for the other minor characters, they are quirky enough to have a slightly lasting impression even if they are just cameos for that particular episode. Like Claris’ desire to be free and experience the normal life, Pero’s love for Marple, Irene’s little sister fetish and the amusing poses of Kate and Mary. In a way, these people played a role in helping Milky Holmes to regain their lost Toys.

The opening theme is Sekai Wa Hitotsu! Janaii!! by the seiyuus of Milky Holmes and sounds like your typical genki and cheerful upbeat theme for the detective quartet. However the ending theme is much opposite and it’s like dedicated to the phantom thief of Arsene and her men. Entitled Honnou No Doubt by Faylan, this dark rock piece definitely suits her nature. Each of the episode title is named and based after a famous detective novel. If you look closely, when title is first displayed on the screen, it is the real original title and after the magnifying glass goes across them, the title changes to the modified version that will be the adventure of Milky Holmes in that episode. On a trivial note, the sponsor screen has the characters drawn in chibi form so they really look cute and funny. Of course the end card with different illustrations are also a little eye candy just like the mid-intermission with the characters in poses or places (okay, some of them felt like for fanservice). As for the next episode preview, we have the characters ranting about but it often ends with that character revealing herself/himself as the culprit even if she/he isn’t. Who? What? When? Why? Everybody is a retard, guilty as charged!

I might not get any interest of reading or watching detective novels and movies, but if there is going to be another season of Milky Holmes, you bet that I’ll be around to catch them in their silly antics. I know it’s bad of me to say this but I hope they keep failing their test to find back their Toys so that I could enjoy some laughs when they screw up. Bad me. I do sound like Kokoro enjoying seeing those lolis suffer and not even knowing it or what hit them till it’s too late. Forgive me if I called them retards too many times but it’s true. At least I know who NOT to call when a crime needs solving. Never let lolis do a man’s job. No wonder crime is flourishing. And I’m the guilty culprit for encouraging that. Doesn’t that make us partners in crime?