XL Joushi

January 10, 2020

OMG. Finally a theme that befits its porn setting. Seasons in, seasons out, we have pseudo short anime porn that usually involve themes surrounding men in different jobs or uniforms. But now with XL Joushi, the main theme is not that but condoms and a huge dick. Yes, you read that right. Those thin rubber sheath used by men in sex and a guy who possesses a big penis. Nothing gets as direct as these. And if you still need a storyline to connect condoms and the big dick, well, porn logic here you get. Some office lady needs cash and the best way is to review XL size condoms. Because yeah, at least you don’t have to dirty your own body and earn less without selling your body. And you might think how the f*ck can she test condoms without a dick? Ah, herald her male colleague who supposedly has an XL size dick… Now do you see where this is going? Why do I have a feeling that she too will become the test subject?

Episode 1
Saki Watase thought her much awaited package has arrived. WTF?! A box of XL condoms?! Stupid wrong delivery! As she drinks alone and complaining about this, her arrogant colleague, Keisuke Sudou joins in. Seems Sudou likes to lecture her on things too. But Watase gets drunk and complains how she wants to marry and settle down. Sudou brings her home only to find condoms everywhere! Boy, it’s going to be hard to explain she isn’t that desperate to snag a man! She tells the truth and what is the best way to test these condoms? Yeah… But does anyone have that dick size? Sudou claims he has! He is going to test it now! And so this is where the porn starts. Sudou molesting Watase so that he could get turned on and show us his (mosaic) erect dick. Wow. So big! Yeah, even the XL condom feels a bit tight?! Time to finish this. Finish her! Yup, penetration sex time. Oh Watase, that was great, right? Sudou leaves and takes the condoms with him. Can’t have her test it out with other men, right? And yes, he is going to test them out and give his opinion. Every one of them. Be prepared for an adventure of a lifetime…

Episode 2
Watase does her presentation well. But some sexist male thinks otherwise just because she is a woman. Of course Sudou stands up for her and tells the old f*cker to back down and accept it. Later Watase thanks him for it when some random guy bumps into her and sends her phone ringing. She tries to pick it up from her messy handbag. Well, it’s not her handphone. It’s he vibrator!!! WTF???!!! Is she intent on testing this?! Sudou thinks she is in heat and the best to solve this is to eat. You mean eat pussy? Okay! After dinner (the one with food), Watase asks Sudou to hand back the condoms because she wants to return it. No can do. Customer feedback is very important. Yeah, he wants to participate in this XL club. XL what? Time to eat desserts. Instantly they make out. I guess she’s feeling so good that she didn’t even bother to stop this nonsense. Of course they test out another condom for its lubricant. This girl so wet I don’t think any lubricant is needed. Here comes the penetration train! Wow. So good his dick inside him that she cums multiple times.

Episode 3
You mean Sudou f*cked her so hard that she can’t remember what happened after that?! She then hears Sudou talking to the boss who accepts his proposal. However she wants to assign him to a new team for it to work. But Sudou wants Watase to remain in the team and mentions all about her good points (good thing he left out how good her pussy was too! HAHA!). Boss accepts and the moment she mentions about his arranged meeting, damn Watase just got disheartened and runs away? Yeah, Sudou suspects somebody was eavesdropping because who the f*ck would drop coffee in front of the door just like that?! So back home a sad Watase is going to test the condom on herself? Oh, so that’s how she’s going to do it. But the condom over the vibrator and… Suddenly Sudou barges in. Don’t do this! You can tell she is sad over his arranged meeting because she tells him she will do the product review herself so he can do it with the new woman. Sorry to break it to you, girl. Sudou mentions he rejected his boss’ arranged meeting too. You know why? Because he is in love with you! And when he says the vibrator is no match for his real dick, why the f*ck does Watase feel so relieved and happy? I guess they waste no time in feeling each other and test this strawberry flavoured condom. Uh huh. Watase’s favourite flavour. First blowjob ever! And then he wants a piece of it too so it’s 69 position for them. After Sudou cums, his dick still so big. That’s because he still can go on for another round as he tests out this ultra thin condom. I suppose we need to have penetrative sex too. Working overtime, huh? And Watase commenting on his dick, so big, so wrong, so good… What else is there to review?

Episode 4
Watase receives an invitation from the company who makes the condoms to a conference. You bet Sudou wants to attend. Yeah, Watase getting freaked out seeing all the men here. They must really have large dicks!!! As she waits alone, Riku Narita starts to hit on her. He is supposed to come here with his girlfriend but just got dumped. Watase is uncomfortable but Narita won’t let her go. Yeah, he too has an XL dick and has her touch it! After all, it is no secret that everyone here has a big dick and tested out the XL condoms. So Watase must have tested it out on her ‘boyfriend’, right? His hands are all over her and good thing Sudou is within earshot of hearing her scream. Hence he confronts Narita and warns him to not touch other people’s girl. Thank goodness no violence. However jealous Sudou brings Watase to the toilet and when he learns she touched Narita’s dick, he is going to make sure that his dick is the true XL! HAHAHA!!! WTF???!!! Cue for him to rape her and what luck, he’s got a sample condom with him. A couple of guys come in (including Narita) so keep the noise down while you’re f*cking. It’s a miracle they’re having sex quiet enough seeing that his freaking huge dick is penetrating her to the max! Of course Narita is aware of certain strange sounds coming from the cubicle. Sudou finishes her! Narita just smirks!

Episode 5
You bet Sudou doesn’t want to come to this sort of conference again. Watase can’t agree more. And then this Narita guy just barges into their conversation and tries to hit on Watase like as though Sudou isn’t there. And when Sudou put his foot down, Narita claims he has a nice voice and they should settle it via karaoke. WTF Sudou agrees?! I don’t want to hear these guys sing and the only ‘music’ I wanna hear is Watase’s orgasmic moaning!!! HAHAHA!!! With Watase being close with Narita, you bet Sudou isn’t happy. So while they argue, Narita tries to spike Watase’s drink. Unfortunately it is Sudou who drinks it! Narita realizes he has screwed up and leaves. When Sudou starts to feel horny (OMFG! THAT BULGE!!!!), Watase realizes an empty bottle of some aphrodisiac from the conference. Yeah, they give those out too? Watase brings Sudou home. And that moment, his horniness takes off so he f*cks her. It can’t be that Sudou finishes so fast, right? Yup, second round! And more rounds to come because we see him use up several condoms!!! OMFG! How many condoms does it take to satisfy this monster???!!! Even Watase thinks she is going to die at this rate!!! Death by snu-snu???!! Her ass must be a crater right now! Maybe she’s already dead and halfway to heaven! Haha! Finally when the condoms run out, finally he cums. Just in time. In the aftermath, Sudou teases that he won’t use any sort of aphrodisiac any more. Because his huge dick is big enough to satisfy! So true! Oh Watase, you’re so dead…

Episode 6
Sudou walks into the hotspring and… All the guys are exclaiming how big his dick is!!! OMFG! Is he really Japanese?! Are they implying the standard Japanese size is way smaller than that?! Sudou and Watase are at the hotspring when Narita hugs her from behind and continues to flirt! This guy really didn’t learn his lesson. Watase doesn’t appreciate this so Sudou steps up to protect her. Since Narita won’t give up, he proposes a ping pong challenge. Too bad it is abruptly interrupted when his own girlfriend comes to take him away! What a jerk! Back in the room, Watase asks a stupid question that will of course lead to the obvious. Why invite her to the hotspring? It is only right to rest and relax after hard work. So Sudou is going to make her body feel relaxed. I can see where this is going… He first starts with an ordinary massage. And then it becomes not so ordinary with his hands all over her sensitive areas. And then here comes the big one! I hope they don’t taint the hotspring with his semen… In the aftermath, Watase is asleep and I hope he didn’t f*ck her till she tires out! Yeah, defeats the point of coming to this hotspring, no?!

Episode 7
Damn, Watase freaking out at Sudou’s morning wood. He calls it Morning XL!!! WTF?! Thinking she is interested, he lets her touch it and it quickly escalates to them having sex. Wow. Already f*cking when it’s this early in the morning? I guess it’s okay if Watase feels good. As they walk around town, they see Narita’s girlfriend arguing with him and then dumping him. You know they don’t want to get involve and walk away but instantly Narita spots them and quickly flirts with Watase. WTF???!!! Of course Sudou won’t allow that. He takes her away as Watase notices lots of young women staring at Sudou. Stupid girl, don’t you start overthinking and comparing your plain self to them… Because of that, she loses Sudou and bumps into Narita again. Damn, this guy is persistent, huh? Watase tries to dismiss him as he is not her type. So what is her type? She tries to describe Sudou’s good points. Really? That is Sudou? Narita doesn’t believe it since guys with big dicks go around f*cking people. You can tell Watase is shocked to hear that despite trying to put up a fake front she doesn’t believe him. And then Sudou returns with a couple of young ladies. Apparently he tried to help them who are lost. I’m thinking they’re just pretending to be lost just so as to hang out with him. Look at their big smiley faces… Because of that, stupid Watase now believes Narita’s words. In short, she tells him she doesn’t need him anymore and runs away in tears. What’s that about him that f*ck everything that moves?! Like, WTF?! And Narita has the last laugh, telling Sudou how Watase’s type of guy is honest but he doesn’t seem all that honest. Yeah, I mean, the only thing that has been 100% honest all this while is his dick, RIGHT???!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Episode 8
Watase is depressed so this is an excuse for her to drink till she is drunk. She passes out but somebody carries her back to a room. She thinks it is Sudou but it’s actually Narita! This guy thinks of f*cking her with his XL but then he hears her mumble how sorry she is to Sudou. Yeah, I guess that killed the mood. When Watase sobers up, Narita lets her go but look who is at the door? Sudou! Narita tries to create trouble by saying his dick satisfy Watase more! Yeah, the guys asking whose dick she likes best! WTF?! She can’t say but she certainly did say she likes Sudou! That’s it, Narita. Your rejection. Let her go. Back in his room, Sudou apologizes and admits he isn’t an honest person just like Narita said. Then he hugs her and confesses he has liked her for a long time and only acted so because he thought she hated him. Really? I’m not surprised any girl would hate you if you keep f*cking her like that! I don’t think f*cking a girl without her permission all the time constitutes to apology, but whatever. Shockingly, she kisses him (on the lips, silly). After all that he’s done to her, you think she cares this will give the wrong impression? Though she can’t say she likes his dick, what she can say is that she likes him as a person. WTF his dick felt sad and started limping???!!! WTF???!!! SINCE WHEN DO DICKS HAVE FEELINGS????!!!!! Oh right. I understand. It’s the dick that made Watase feel good! Not Sudou, right?! And so they make out. Promoted from XL superior XL boyfriend. Yup, soon XL husband. With Sudou f*cking her hard, I guess that’s why Watase changes her stance. Yup, she also likes his XL dick. Oh yeah. Might as well. There’s a lot more where it came from.

Size Does Matter: The Bigger They Are, The Harder They F*ck!
Heh. She survived all that, eh? In the end, does Watase loves Sudou more or his super huge dick better?! That’s a no brainer eventually because she has to love the whole package! Haha! After all that incessant deep penetration, it probably fried some of Watase’s brain cells because now they are in love with each other and thus this gives Sudou a free pass to continue sticking it in her as he pleases. Now Watase loves him back. Goal achieved. Eternal f*cking can begin. The end. Imagine how a big dick can help develop such a loving relationship… HAHAHAHAHA!!! Sudou, be thankful to your little big guy for getting this relationship where it is today! And oh, I guess they don’t need that condom excuse to f*ck anymore, huh? Now every f*ck is not just a test. It’s real love now. Yeah…

I’ve seen so many of such fake porn shorts that I don’t know what else to say. You don’t really question the porn logic anymore and just go with the flow. Because for the umpteenth time, for this kind of story to work, the ultimate porn logic that the woman must enjoy and orgasm every time she gets f*cked. It is the only reason why she allows the man to f*ck her again and again and again and again. They also make her weak willed because that is also the reason that would make her decide to let the man have intercourse with her again and again and again and again. This is why when you have women like Watase having inner thoughts realizing that she would become a slut this way, she becomes confused in keeping he dignity or get a free pass in continuously feeling good. In the meantime, Sudou just keeps f*cking her. Until the next drama that puts this whole f*cking thing on the line.

That is the purpose of having third wheeler Narita in this relationship. Otherwise he would be just redundant. Because of his XL size too, he is like Sudou’s competitor. Hence Sudou has to thread and think carefully or he would lose his woman to another guy with the same rare goods. You think Narita is cool? He gives off this feel that he is more of a jerk than anything because of his shameless attempts to flirt with Watase. I bet the reason why his girlfriend dumped him was because she can’t take it anymore, his huge penetration is hurting all her holes! HAHAHA!!! Oops… But I think Narita is also taking advantage of Watase because anybody can see it is so obviously written on her face that she is a confused woman. Nothing blows away all those worries (temporarily) by having a big dick coming inside you! Hey, don’t blame me. Blame porn logic at its finest! Well, in a way it is a good thing that Watase chose Sudou (obviously) and hence Narita is a double loser for losing his girlfriend and now Watase. Nobody wants your XL, you loser. Oh well, what’s a guy and his big lonely dick got to do with each other? I’ll leave that up to your imagination…

And they need to ramp up the drama and finally confirm Watase’s feelings for him because that shoehorned setting that Sudou is really a looker and has the attraction of other women’s attention (heh, wait till they see his huge goods, that will make them think twice). I understand she’s worried. Worried that she is no longer monopolizing his XL!!! HAHAHA!!! Oops… Maybe after all the constant orgasms and feel good moments with his dick has clouded her judgment. And in the end, I still don’t think that the actual true love ruled the day. It is still more of lust. So keep f*cking, you happy sex maniacs in the name of love.

The other ‘big star’ of this series is of course no other than Sudou’s dick. Of course it is definitely mosaic out but I am sure of all the anime (mosaic) dicks I have ‘seen’, his takes the cake. The biggest of the lot. We are so used to seeing female characters having such huge monster tits that we don’t bat an eyelid. But then when we see this XL cock monster, well, it does sure give that weird feeling. And the company that manufactures those XL condoms, I wonder if they really want to penetrate (pun intended) the Japanese market. Because you know, your average Japanese men don’t have even L size dicks… HAHAHA!!! But seeing the response from that condom conference, damn, you sure this is Japan?! Sure you’re not exporting to western countries? Because if Japanese guys here already have XL size dicks, maybe the American counterparts have XXXL size penis!!! OMFG!!! You are truly f*cked then! And seriously people, a single woman trying to test XL men’s condoms on herself? Like, that’s the worst no brainer plot ever.

I’m sure I can make a lot more jokes about Sudou’s dick smashing Watase’s pussy until it becomes loose or like a moon crater but just thinking about it, I sometimes feel a little pain in my crotch for her. Because you know, Sudou’s penis is so huge, it is just a miracle wonder how he manages to fit inside her tight vagina and make her cum all the time. Don’t tell me her vagina is stretchable. She’s no Elastic Girl or Mr Incredible, you know. I worry that her pussy will be ripped and torn to shreds and by that time it will no longer be porn but horror porn. Yikes. Don’t want to go there. Not really into that. So yeah, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is, it’s how you finish her and make her feel good inside that counts! Hey, she is still alive every time she gets smashed so I guess that’s a good sign? But still, it is amazing that after Sudou’s extra large penis has been inside of Watase so many times, perhaps her pussy has really gotten used to it all. Porn logic at its finest as always… Now that I’ve seen everything that penises have feelings too, now I understand why porn stars always praise a guy’s dick… Always be kind to that little big guy to get it up. Yeah…

Do you know what the most epic thing about this series is? No, aside Sudou’s huge dick, the ending thing is just epic in its own right. XL BO$$ is so aptly named as well as its lyrics are just classic. Yup, Sudou singing about his ‘goods’. Forget about Magic Mike, let Sudou charm you with this hip hop and rock masterpiece. I am sure this song would also fit right in for male strippers doing their usual rounds. Such charm. If you didn’t get turn on while watching all the f*cking in this series, I’m sure this song would at least bring a smile to your face and make you in the mood. Not saying that it could top Barry White’s sexy songs or make you rush and go make out, but it’ll make your day. Just listen to it. Yup, “XL, XL, I can’t stop them anymore XL”… Can’t get any truer than that.

Overall, just another season of average pseudo anime porn. It follows the same formula like others before. Silly porn logic setting that leads to f*cking that eventually leads to the one true love. At least, porn’s version of what is called love anyway. Anyhow, I had a good laugh at how the big dick has authority over the pussy here. Hahaha! True! I doubt this series is going to see a spike in sales of condoms or even Viagra but seeing how you can never get rid of porn as long as there are humans (horniness is just part of our nature), well, at least you can f*ck responsibly by using a condom. Help stop breed future Darwin Award recipients by using a condom today!

N/B: It’s okay and cool to have a big dick but not cool to be a dick!

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