Though I didn’t get my wish for this series to be turned into a weekly anime TV series, at least the single OVA episode of Yuri Seijin Naoko-san that came out in February 2012 lasted longer as compared to the first one back in 2008. Yeah, 28 minutes this time instead of just 6 lousy short minutes. The fun part is of course Naoko herself who claims to be from this Planet Yuri and has plans to conquer Earth by yurifying everyone on this planet. I’m not sure if that is turning everyone into girls or making them into a yuri lover. Oh, I just remembered: Cutting off men’s penis to turn them into females! Yikes! With her peculiar antics, unusual rational and wits, life isn’t going to be a bed of roses for the girl that she is freeloading with, Misuzu. Can she stand all this yuri crap or be turned into one herself? Stay tuned for Naoko will show you the way…

Yuri makes the world go round…
Misuzu seems to be having hay fever. Naoko wants Ryouta to suck those mysterious fluids dripping from her nose! As Misuzu reads out the definition of hay fever from the dictionary, all Naoko can envision are naked men going around spreading their ‘membranes’, scaring little girls! I can’t believe Ryouta believed Naoko’s words and really tried to suck Misuzu’s running nose with a straw!!! Naoko vows to conquer the world via yurinization and drags Misuzu on to her gamepad controller-like pod and blasts off into the sky. She is going to use her ray blaster to counter this ‘hay fever’ thingy by using the features of this accelerated evolution gun to yurify the pine trees. WTF?! Then crashing in the middle of the forest, this feeling reminded her when she first entered an adult bookstore and was overwhelmed by the erotic atmosphere that made her feel her own sexual desires feel insignificant. And she left without buying anything. Naoko starts up her gun and fires one freaking big blast at all the trees! Suddenly all the trees are uprooted and fly straight into the sky!!! Is this what yurinization is?! Hey, aren’t trees asexual? Naoko narrates Naoko is apparently an alien and part of a species that’s been watching over the evolution of Earth since ancient times. She just can’t help wonder why the heck she is staying in their home.

Hii-chan wanted to come over today but Naoko feels it is not a good time. I know. With that crazy Naoko around, Misuzu feels bad for turning her down but can’t let her meet that alien anyhow. But speaking of the devil, suddenly they see Naoko climbing a pole imitating a lizard! Oh God. That wasn’t the worst part. More like, Naoko and Hii-chan can get along fine with their weirdness! Seems Naoko got lost while doing an errand. She left trails of porn magazines on the road but they’re all gone. Hii-chan thought birds took them away (WTF?!) when the real culprit shows up: Misuzu’s mom. She’s been picking them up and hands them back to Misuzu! She thinks they belong to her! Naoko even has the cheek to say books promoting sexual degeneration where kids can find them are a big problem. Mommy feels daddy is always at work and that she can’t watch the kids as much. Naoko starts thinking it is because of her father’s absence, Misuzu has been committing these crimes out of loneliness. She volunteers to become her father and allows her to touch her part down there…

So while Hii-chan visits Misuzu’s room (Naoko’s room is like a makeshift dump on the roof), Naoko mentions she has sent Ryouta on a ‘difficult task’ that will make him grow as a man. That is, to go buy a porn video. Do you think the storekeeper will believe Ryouta in that mechanized manly body? Misuzu remembers how much she loves her sister. Yes, the real Naoko. When she heard she was coming back, she rushed home only to find the yuri alien instead. Eh? Who was she? Naoko claimed she was her sister so Misuzu thought she really must have changed since she has not seen her in years. I guess her fetish for porn must be a dead giveaway because Naoko starts searching this room for hidden porn magazines. Would he real sister have any? Oh look. Naoko found one under the bed. Well, actually that belongs to mommy. Oh sh*t!!! Hii-chan is so touched by the story that she cried! WTF?! She even concludes that her real sister may be on Planet Yuri right now, learning the true meaning of yuri. Naoko agrees with what she says. Only thing is, Misuzu remembers she said something much different the last time (Naoko claimed herself to be human and wants to be called her sister). Meanwhile the storekeeper is seeking for Ryouta’s age proof. Since he can’t read the words on the buttons, he goes by his guts and of all the buttons, he had to press the one which is a bomb. BOOM! So when the news report of a terrorism-like incident breaking out at an adult video shop, Naoko quips they can’t even buy porn in peace nowadays. As for Misuzu, she really feels they have forgotten something. I guess little brother wasn’t that prominent in their lives…

Misuzu dreams when her real sister came back to watch over her when she fell sick. Then when she prepares to leave to Hii-chan’s place to study, Naoko also wants to tag along and brings Ryouta too. Thinking the sun is too hot, she thinks of firing her gun into it to advance the sun’s lifespan. Wouldn’t that turn it into a supernova? Or maybe she just wants to shoot something. While Misuzu is surprised that nobody seems to be bothered by Naoko’s oddities, Naoko is asking a policeman if there is any child prostitution ring around! Only MILF prostitution ring around… I can’t believe they made Ryouta carry that whatever heavy sack he’s been carrying so when he can’t further go on, Naoko reveals inside it to be a gift. Miyoko, a delicacy from her planet but why the heck does she need all that unnecessary machine just for that little box?! Naoko claims that one bite of this sweet will make TV Tokyo seemingly look 50% sexier. And suddenly all the men start to rush and gather around Naoko in a frenzy stampede. Is it true? Even the wise sage asks if this would work on any shows. Yes. Even recorded ones. Then it turns into a street musical about TV Tokyo getting sexier and sexier… Misuzu just couldn’t care anymore…

Naoko seems to be explaining that when you think of summer, you think of little girls playing in water. But why is she telling a guy who is walking his dog all this? More importantly, Misuzu and Naoko finally arrive at Hii-chan’s mansion. Misuzu hopes Hii-chan isn’t mad since it has been 3 days. I guess 3 days that they were caught up with that TV Tokyo sexy thing. But too late. Hii-chan has snapped and treating a little doll as the real Misuzu! So when the real Misuzu steps in, she can’t even tell which the real one is! Misuzu puts Hii-chan to bed as Naoko calls off the little girl water-playing festival. No joke! She even gives the cancellation fees to a bunch of them. Are they professionals as Misuzu claimed? Naoko than starts rummaging through Hii-chan’s stuff for her porn books. The place is a little bigger so she’s going to take a longer time. Hii-chan is embarrassed so Misuzu had to remind Naoko what she is doing is rude. But Hii-chan snaps again and starts treating the doll as the real Misuzu… Meanwhile all the men have their eyes fixated on watching the TV programme. Ryouta wanted to escape but he is being chained! Holy sh*t!

Ryouta is sad that their promise to go to Destinyland during summer vacation is up in smokes since daddy is pretty busy. Naoko crashes in with her pod to save the day because with her planet’s technology, they can just reach Destinyland in just a second. I thought the problem was money and guardian? Misuzu allows Ryouta to go with Naoko (is she sure about this) but doesn’t want to join them. Naoko figures that Misuzu may be shy and plans to find out where she wants to go. After plugging in several devices and a headgear that resemble mouse ears, putting them on Ryouta’s head reveals his deepest desire to enjoy himself at Destinyland. The odd part is his conversation with Misuzu in which his sister mentions there are all kinds of different penises! Is this what Ryouta really thinks of his sister? Then Naoko puts the headgear on Misuzu. By the time she wakes up, two and a half weeks have flown by and as Naoko mentions the headgear have this prolonged sleep inducing effect. Haha! The entire summer vacation wasted. Oh Ryouta… You had to bear the results of Naoko’s screw up but as mommy notes, they all had a good night’s sleep. Good nights, she means.

Unifying and P(y)urifyng The World…
Naoko is definitely an oddball and the reason why I was laughing all the way even if her yuri obsession and perverted behaviour seemed annoying. Though you can predict what she’ll kind of say (something perverted related anyway), I guess it’s this sort of amusing answer that throws you off your feet. However we don’t really see her trying her best to take over the world via yurifying. It’s as though she is just bumming around having fun, messing about with Misuzu, Ryouta and Hii-chan. At this rate, is she really going to conquer the world or will she end up as a statistical failure like that frog in Keroro Gunsou and a certain squid in Shinryaku! Ika Musume. Some of her gadgets like her big blasting accelerating gun are awesome. Just wished that I can see more of those firepower. Even if it’s at the expense of changing the nature of something ;p. Though I would have preferred to see more episodes on this, but I can’t complain. It is at least running on a longer duration this time. Thus the OVA is just random silliness instead of developing anything like the story (perhaps another alien who wants to take over the world via yaoi-nization, posing a rival and challenge to Naoko’s goal) or other characters (any more perverted yuri aliens out there?).

As for Misuzu, I just can’t help notice that she is such a soft spoken person all the way. I mean to have such an irritating alien living under the same roof (okay, maybe in a separate makeshift annexed structure but that’s not the point) and I have never seen her raise her voice, yell or get mad. Maybe she has resigned to her fate that life indeed is going to be one big troublesome stumble with Naoko around. Speaking of Misuzu’s real sister, what really happened to her anyway? From what I can see and understand is that she is currently missing for an unknown reason. Don’t really tell me she went to Planet Yuri after all. I can’t fathom a nice sister like her ending up to be a yuri pervert. As for Ryouta, I guess he is really a gullible kid. He wholeheartedly does whatever Naoko tells him to do and at this rate I feel not only his chastity but his sanity will be in danger too. He might turn out to be a ‘monster’ created courtesy by Naoko when he grows up. Hii-chan? She’s also slightly another oddball seeing she too accepted Naoko so easily. Maybe she believes in aliens too?

Both the opening and ending theme are sung by Mi-Ko. Both themes have this weird and alien-space-like feel to it. The opening theme is called Yuri Seijin Naoko-san (New Version) and in addition to the upbeat tune, the animation is filled with lots of craziness and weirdness. Gives you a fell on what to expect, eh? Yeah, the lyrics are even about Naoko herself. “Turning you into a deviant with just one glance”, “Caught up in a stupid fabulous romance, she’s feeling guilty about something, you can just tell”, “Her message from space is all mixed up but as long as it reaches you, it is okay”. Says so much about her, eh? Stay away from her as far as possible! The ending theme is entitled Photon Belt Kankou Hotel and besides the dramatic effect, it also gives that mysterious and enigmatic feel. Playing around with the pace, I think there are some lines like as though they are being narrated by an alien. Cute or creepy? What do you expect when you even have weird lyrics like “Say goodbye to the genes of the galaxy”, “Swallowed up by a speeding up fate to rot away”.

So there you have it. Naoko and her yurinization plans to conquer the world… Still in progress… I don’t think Naoko really needs that accelerating blaster to yurinize every male. At the rate Japan is going and considering if their preaching on this deviant is successfully ‘exported’ to the rest of the world, you’ll have yuri as a norm for the next generations to come. Hah. Like that will really happen. But next time I meet this type of alien, I hope to and try not to get swept into her pace because if ever one day I become a yuri fan, that will be a day I turned into a girl. Or worse, a yaoi fan instead.

Yuri Seijin Naoko-san

May 27, 2011

Eh? Erm… Ah… What’s this? When I first heard about Yuri Seijin Naoko-san and read that it was some sort of a short comedy, I jumped at the chance of watching it, albeit the single OVA episode just lasts over 6 minutes. Apparently the theme of the manga is yuri (lesbian) and the storyline goes something like this. We got this alien girl named Naoko from planet Yuri and is plotting to conquer Earth via Yuri-nization. Woah! Such a daunting task. She’s got to eliminate all the men in the world to do that, eh? Just like many other anime aliens who come to live with our Earthling kind, she’s always bringing trouble to a particular person he/she stays with or close to. In this case, the soft spoken Misuzu.

The episode opens with Misuzu’s mother worried about a stalker lurking around in their neighbourhood. Seems Misuzu’s mom is worried more about the molester than her daughter as she holds on to Misuzu’s erotic books. Oh shi… Naoko walks back home after school with her bespectacled friend, Hii-chan. They discuss about the molester when they see Naoko talking via her handphone underneath a little girl’s skirt! WTF?! Her reasoning? Apparently Yurians’ handphone won’t work unless it’s near a young girl’s panties. Yeah, I guess it emits some mysterious wave and signal that attracts lolicons and panty thieves, eh? You could probably guess Hii-chan is on the same wavelength as Naoko as she buys her story and believes as long as there are many little girls around, it is possible to communicate anywhere in the universe! Lolicons, the universal sign of love! Haha!

Naoko puts up posters of the potential types of molesters using Misuzu as the illustration’s model. Hmm… Flashing type, candid camera type and the one I don’t even know, tentacle type. Wow. How enlightening (read sarcasm). Misuzu’s little brother, Ryouta pops out from the corner and calls his sister but Naoko thinks he is the molester and gives her trademark punch. At first I was thinking why the hell is there a train running right smack in the middle of a residential area but it turns out it’s just a metaphor used to depict Naoko’s powerful punch that sends Ryouta flying. Then, Naoko plans to cut off his penis! Of course she was just testing Misuzu to see how much she cares about her brother. His penis, that is.

Naoko did some preliminary investigations by interviewing people about the molester (her methods are questionable) and has come up with a sketch of how the molester probably looks like. A cat-faced in a trench coat with tentacles? Real alien or figment of imagination (or sloppy investigation job), turns out that molester in the sketch is real! He grabs Ryouta as Naoko assures Misuzu her little brother’s penis are still safe. That’s not the issue here! Seems this molester fits all the example types that Naoko put up earlier. Naoko gives the molester her train punch and unfortunately also sends Ryouta flying along. Now she has a giant gardener’s scissors and planning to cut both their penis off! Too bad she backed down after ‘learning Misuzu’s love for his penis’ is much stronger. She is sure screwed up in the head. Yeah, she continues to make her phone call underneath a girl’s skirt. Shouldn’t she be ashamed? Apparently not. Hii-chan seems to be able to communicate with the molester and understands he has regretted his actions and repented. A train to Nagano appears as the molester gets onboard. Hii-chan gets emotional of this happy ending and the dispute settled so Naoko comforts her that Earthlings and molesters will one day cohabitate in peace. Is that the real issue here? As the molester continues his train ride, we see sleeping Ryouta finally waking up and starting to panic. Haha, he took Ryouta along with him and the rest didn’t even notice.

Watch Your Crotch!
Erm? So where is Naoko’s plan to take over the world through Yuri-nization? Heck, this is just a short OVA but even so, Naoko’s quirky character is sure amusing and had me laughing. Doom I tell you our world is if she actually succeeds in her mission. The way Misuzu talks in her monotonous and ‘tired’ tone seems to indicate that she has seen and know enough of Naoko’s antics almost as if she is immune to them as she isn’t that surprised.

The drawing and art of the characters are simple so much so it reminded me of Ichigo Mashimaro. Surprisingly Naoko is voiced by Satomi Arai who voiced Shirai in To Aru Kagaku No Railgun. Seems she is very suitable for crazy lesbian girls and odd characters. Ai Nanoka as Hii-chan is still recognizable even though I don’t hear much of her lately. At first I thought Kana Hanazawa was behind Misuzu’s voice but it turned out to be an unknown seiyuu, Akari Harashima.

If this series ever turns into a TV series, there is a high chance that I want to watch it. Hopefully Naoko’s nonsensical antics are still kept intact. Taking over the world through this Yuri-nization seems absurd but I guess conquering Earth via love is better than violence and wars. Oh, so probably how Naoko is going to achieve that by turning everyone into females is by cutting their penis. Yikes! I think I’m going to sleep with my legs tightly clutched closer to each other now.