Killing Bites

June 10, 2018

Have you ever wondered if you matched up certain animals with certain animals, who would be the victor? I’m sure there was kiddie card video game, Animal Kaiser but I didn’t play that one so I wouldn’t know. Instead, we have Killing Bites. No, we won’t be so cruel so as to use real animals to fight each other in a death caged arena. Instead, we have genetically engineered humans with the ability to transform part of their bodies into certain animals as they duke it out to be the ultimate king of the beasts. Because it is not the strongest or the fastest who wins but the one with the sharpest fangs.

Episode 1
Yuuya Nomoto thought he would be picking up girls with his friends. Unfortunately he didn’t read between the lines because they snatch a high school girl into their van and start raping her! Nomoto is shocked from this development but before he knows it, the girl, Hitomi Uzaki is all fine and his friends are all dead! Forcing him to drive to a junkyard, he is further sickened to see dead bodies everywhere. He tries to escape but bumps into Yugo Tani. He explains about Therianthropes, humans infused with supernatural powers of animals. Leo feels insulted when he thinks Nomoto doesn’t believe it all and transforms into his Therianthrope lion form, Brute Leo. Hitomi saves his ass and wants to use Nomoto as a bet. As in money? No, his body. Organs, that is. It will fetch a high price in the black market. Hitomi transforms into her Therianthrope form, Brute Ratel. Hence begins Killing Bites, bloody matches between Therianthropes. Nomoto is stunned as he see both beasts lunging at full power at each other. In the end, it is Ratel who against all odds wins. Something about her animal ratel (mongoose + skunk?) being the least fearful animal in the world. In the aftermath, Nomoto wakes up in his room. All a dream? Not if Hitomi is sleeping next to you. Apparently last night after the match, he is so grateful she won (because he gets to live) and was even concerned with her bruises (because no high school girl should be this injured?). She got a call from her guardian, Reiichi Shidou to let him take her in so that’s how she ended up sleeping here.

At the café, Shidou makes his appearance. We see Hitomi obviously smitten with him. Before Nomoto could explain himself, Shidou knows all about him. Every detail. He explains about genetic enhancements that allowed the development of Therianthropes. So what is the purpose of all this? A secret proxy war has been held among large corporations of the past known as Zaibatsu. The big 4 are Mitsukado, Yatsubishi, Sumitomo and Ishida. They use Killing Bites to fight for representation and as a form of illegal gambling. Shidou is the director and organizer of Killing Bites and his job is to make things go smoothly. This means making his friends’ death look like a car accident. Shidou assigns Hitomi to be Nomoto’s bodyguard seeing his is Ratel’s sole investor. Lose him, lose your rights to participate in Killing Bites. Oh, Nomoto got paid a 100 million yen for that. Shidou’s secretary, Mai Shinozaki wonder if this was necessary as they could save the money and just arrest him. But Shidou thinks Nomoto has something that Hitomi lacks. She’ll need it because the next Killing Bites will get messy. Nomoto becomes Hitomi’s gopher boy. Out on some errand, he is stopped by a flasher. A hot babe! Take a look at her tits! I mean, no straight men would say no, right?! But he has to pay the price as he gets pierced by her spike. She wants him to tell all about Ratel but no need to go through any third party because Ratel is here. Ask her yourself.

Episode 2
Letting Nomoto out was just a ploy to use him as bait. Hitomi fights Ryoko Araka AKA Brute Rowdy. Her porcupine spikes seem formidable and Rowdy thought she had killed her with them. Well, she’s very much alive. Some brief lesson how a ratel’s skin is like a natural armour. Ratel rebounds and wins and could have killed her had not Nomoto stopped her. Don’t want any murders near his home. Rowdy is willing to sacrifice herself to kill Ratel but is knocked aside by Ichinosuke Okajima AKA Brute Hippopotamus. He looks like he wants to pick a fight with Ratel but then he begs her to help his faction. In Nomoto’s room, Okajima explains he is from Ichida faction (Rowdy is from Yatsubishi) and he hopes she will join them. Instant rejection. Hitomi believes she is the strongest and doesn’t need allies. Okajima tries to warn her about not only relying on her skills but this makes her mad and ready to fight. Till a well-timed message from Shidou telling her to join them did she agree with no hesitation. Although Hitomi will not officially join them, this is just temporary help so she can enter the next Killing Bites under the Ishida’s banner. Nomoto’s life has just gotten weirder since Hitomi will be going to his college. Well, she is his bodyguard. So you bet his nerdy friend, Moriyama is going bonkers seeing a super kawaii girl with him. As Hitomi is taking a dump, Eruza Nakanishi of Yatsubishi peeps on her and steals her panties! She makes Ratel chase her all the way out of the campus as Ratel wonders about Eruza who isn’t in her beast form but yet can run and evade so fast. In the forest, Eruza transforms into her cheetah form and pins down Ratel. She tries to finish her off but is impressed when Ratel fights back instead of evade. Before they could get it on, they are stopped by Mitsukado’s guys, Shota Yabe AKA Brute Gorilla and Jerome Hongou AKA Brute Bear. He reminds them that all factions want a piece of Ratel and since Ishida hired her to enter Killing Bites Destroyal tournament, all fights between participants are forbidden under the pact. A couple of Sumitomo Brutes are watching Ratel. They note they have assassination orders on her. One of them wants to have fun with her but is reminded by the other there will be competition. All factions are targeting her and Destroyal will be a contest for Ratel.

Episode 3
Nomoto surrounded by hot girls. They sound like they’re arguing over him. No wonder his loser otaku friends are mad. Because of that, they force him to make them maid outfits. Hitomi didn’t want to but Eruza didn’t hesitate. She teaches Hitomi how to do isolated transformation, partial transformation of some of her beast form so it doesn’t use up much energy. With all the otaku losers cheering on the hot maids, Hitomi loves the feeling of being praised and poses more for them. A win-win situation. When Nomoto goes home, he is shocked to see Leo here. But it is his master, Yoko, the granddaughter of Yozan, Mitsukado’s patriarch, who is here to talk to him. She wants him to withdraw from Destroyal. It seems there is a change in the tournament’s format. Instead of one-on-one, it will now be a battle royale. This could mean certain death for losers. It is believed Shidou had a hand in this as he views Killing Bites as an experiment ground. Yoko informs him that he is also a participant. Brutes are like chess pieces and the financier (him in this case) is the player who moves them. Is he willing to participate in a game that puts her life on the line? Well, he thinks of asking Hitomi’s permission… Otherwise she’ll kill him for deciding alone! Likewise, Eruza is explaining this to Hitomi and wants her to pick a stronger financier. But Hitomi is sticking with Nomoto. Despite being weak, he can sniff out the strong and this means he cannot go against her. She can do anything she wants. Bully.

Yoko is shocked with Nomoto’s decision and decides to enter Destroyal to defeat Ratel. Yozan agrees and will use Destroyal to test Shidou’s worth. When Hitomi comes back and before Nomoto could open his mouth, she says they’ll be entering. Okajima notes that Destroyal is also a team match. Three per team is needed. However it is tough looking for the third Ishida participant since many refuse to enter. Like as though some force behind it is forcing them not to participate. He decides to go one who is not affiliated with Ishida. Herald bunny girl, Ui Inaba AKA Brute Rabbit. Can timid and shy girl do the job? With her being so scared, prospects aren’t looking good. Hitomi takes over. Threats! Made it worse. Now she is totally scared. Nomoto’s turn. Nice encouraging words. Only, some assassin interrupts them. Akemi Kishimoto AKA Brute Horned Lizard of Sumitomo shoots blood from her eyes as laser! Scared Ui runs away. Could have been done for if not for Ratel saving the day. Thinking back Nomoto’s words, Ui gets the courage to help as uses her strong hearing skills to sniff out a hidden opponent and tell Ratel her whereabouts. She is able to defeat both horned lizard sisters but not kill them (because Shidou praised her for doing the right thing with Rowdy). She lets them go and wants to spread the word Ui kicked their asses or she will report to Shidou that they broke the pact rules before Destroyal. With Ui buoyed with her first ever win, she gets confident enough that she can do it and will enter Destroyal under Ishida’s ticket. Now Hitomi will train Nomoto for Destroyal. Hope he won’t get destroyed by her first.

Episode 4
Looks like everyone is having a luxurious party before the fight. Taiga Nakanishi, Eruza’s older brother is not happy that Leo will not be fighting in Destroyal due to his injury from Ratel. Because of that, he views Destroyal as too easy a win for him. Counting his chickens? He thinks he is enough to take everyone by himself so Eruza seeks his ‘permission’ to fight Hitomi. Shidou relays the rules. The battleground will be Hotei Island near Philippines. The island will be divided into grids in which players will give commands to their Brutes on where to move. When Brutes enter the same grid, they will fight. The only rule for victory is if the others are killed or incapacitated. The last ones standing win. Each Brutes will have a communicator in which commands are to be relayed. If they take it off or break other rules, it will explode. Players begin rolling the dice to see how many squares their Brutes can move. Yoko mocks Nomoto if he knows the terrain well because if he doesn’t, he will send his Brutes to their deaths. Many are mocking Nomoto as an amateur. But when it is his turn, he moves Ratel into the most coveted position on the island where it is a bird’s eyes view of the entire island. They realize it is Ratel who is giving him the orders to move. The player being played? Works for them. Ratel will face Bear in Destroyal’s first fight. Bear is confident in taking her down as Leo previously advised him how Ratel will purposely get beaten up just to access your strength. Use that against her. When the fight begins, Bear goes down in one strike! Apparently Ratel still remembers the force during her first encounter with Bear. Everyone is left in shock with Bear’s defeat. Yoko getting even more upset to beat this college amateur. Meanwhile there will be a 4 way fight from all Zaibatsu. It seems there is a secret pact to take down Yatsubishi’s Taiga. But Taiga relishes using Okajima, Gorilla and Sumitomo’s Ryuji Shiina AKA Brute Crocodile to sharpen his claws.

Episode 5
Crocodile only wants to fight Taiga alone. He gets owned. Gorilla tries to intervene but he too gets taken out. Meanwhile at another spot, Eruza is facing off with Sumitomo’s Kaede Kazama AKA Brute Gecko and Den Onuma AKA Brute Cobra. Too bad she got owned and after Gecko beats the hell out of her, it is Cobra’s turn to rape her. I guess a single tail is enough to be considered tentacle rape. Taiga is about to face off with Okajima when he gets orders to move and lend Eruza a hand. However Crocodile bites his leg and immobilizes him. If Taiga doesn’t move accordingly, his communicator will explode. Before Eruza gets raped, Hitomi takes out Cobra. Hitomi to the rescue and it looks like Nomoto couldn’t stand Eruza being ganged up seeing both girls are somewhat friends. When other players hear this reason, they start laughing and mocking him. Except Yoko. She’s so mad that she warns she will kill him if he desecrates Killing Bites any further. What’s this? Hitomi getting owned by Gecko?! It seems she cannot escape her grip as Hitomi specializes in mid-range combat and not close quarters. At this point, I suppose all participants have wised up in learning Hitomi’s traits and skills. Cobra is looking forward to continue raping Eruza but gets slashed by her in the face. This sets up a tag team match of Hitomi-Eruza versus the Sumitomo duo.

Episode 6
Cobra turns into his true cobra form. Uhm, do cobras have arms? Meanwhile Taiga is going to take Crocodile down with him. Crocodile is resolved to do just that and not let go. However Okajima tackles them. Freed Taiga is able to move to the required spot and avoid death. Okajima lectures about Killing Bites isn’t a suicide show despite having no rules and real animals value their own lives. Flashback shows Okajima grateful to Seira Tou for saving his life. She is the wife of some bank managing director and is now his financier. He is willing to lay down his life to give her victory but that will not do for her. As they have invested a lot in Therianthrope surgery, they can’t have them wasting their valuable lives like that. Crocodile is now mad at Okajima and is going to kill him. It seems all his wounds are healing and in no time he will be back up to his usual strength. Cobra thinks he has paralyzed Ratel with his mist of toxic venom. He is going to rape her and is that a giant cobra’s dick we see?! Two of them?! Too bad he got them slashed and ripped when Ratel recovers. She wasn’t pretending to be paralyzed but something about her ability to recover from a cobra’s venom. Then she tears Cobra apart. Eruza seems to be having a hard time with Gecko but in the end the cheetah doesn’t feel any pain from all that high speed pounding. I know cheetahs are fast but that doesn’t mean they are immune to super speed beat ups. Are they? I guess Ratel got bored and decides to see if Eruza needs help.

Episode 7
Before Crocodile could kill Okajima, Takeshi Kido enters the ring (his financier is Yoko). Gorilla warns Crocodile about destroying the environment because Kido is an environmentalist and evil doers will face his wrath. Crocodile doesn’t listen and attacks. But his whipping tail cannot penetrate his hard skin. When he decides to bite his head off, Kido punches a hole in his head! Even when dead, Kido keeps pounding him to a pulp! Hoping his crushed body would be fertilizers for the fallen tree? Gorilla turns to attack Okajima but the latter suddenly disappears. If you’ve been wondering why Ui has not been in action and digging holes, this is probably it. The labyrinth of underground tunnels Ui dug is what saved Okajima. Not sure about Ui’s bright idea to stall the enemies while he recovers. Because rabbit versus gorilla? Looks like she is going to get f*cked. Gecko retreats after getting orders to move. Eruza and Ratel now fight each other. Eruza is dominant and when she gets on top of Ratel, suddenly… THEY START MAKING OUT???!!! WTF???!!! AM I WATCHING THE RIGHT SHOW?! No kidding, they’re really doing it! Hot girls sex, check. Lesbian sex, check. Furry sex, check. Yeah, all the guys love it. Turns out that Kari Rikujo AKA Brute Civet has been unleashing love pheromones. Gecko has the misfortune to encounter Taiga. She thinks she has the advantage if she transforms but before she can do that, Taiga kills her! With that, Sumitomo is out of the game. We return to our regular hot girl lesbian furry sex. Until Yoko puts her feet down and warns to continue the game. Wow. Everybody respects her to move on? We hear her narration that her goal in winning Destroyal is so that she could get back her grandpa’s heart whom she believed has been trapped by Shidou. He is now obsessed with this Killing Bites thing ever since and her wish is to return him to the kind grandpa she once knew. When Eruza wants Ratel to come with her (or is it cum?), Ratel believes she heard that word before. Oh, Shidou said it to her. Immediately she snaps out because she realizes that is the person whom she wants to come with (or is it cum?). She attacks Civet but she evades long enough till Taiga drops into the scene.

Episode 8
In a VIP room, the bosses of the Zaibatsu are discussing the stakes of Destroyal. Whoever wins it will take all the rights to the Theriomorphosis industry and related businesses. On the surface it might look like some gene research thingy on crops but in reality it would legalize the surgery for Therianthropes. However the biggest winner of Destroyal would be none from any of the Zaibatsu but Shidou and his administration as their department has all the power and technology in this area. Ui continues to run like hell from Gorilla. Yeah, it would look bad if she was to be raped with those gigantic hands. In his bid to catch up to her, he smashes down all the trees to block all the burrowed holes. However this incurs Kido’s wrath. Oops. Don’t bully nature. Gorilla panics and thinks of knocking him out and run. But whatever he throws at him, nothing happens. In one fell swoop, Kido cuts him in half! Did Mitsukado just take out one of its own? Not that Yoko cares anyway. Thank goodness Kido is ordered to move or Ui would have been dead rabbit meat. We return to Ratel and Taiga’s power fight. Cobra is barely alive. At least his top half. He tries to intervene but fails. Ratel forces the camera crew to send him to hospital and patch him up. Saving him? But what if he comes back to kill you? Then she’ll just kill him again. WTF. You failed to kill him the first time, right? Anyway, Taiga agrees seeing sparing the life is the privilege of the strong. Flashback shows Taiga and Leo had a very hot rivalry. Yeah, it looked like they came from delinquent schools from very bad parts of town. Obviously Leo was strongly and he did not even have to fight Taiga. He even gave him a chance to become strong so that he will acknowledge him as a worthy opponent. Therefore Taiga will never acknowledge Ratel’s fluke win over Leo as he will only respond with his full strength to those he acknowledges. Cue for cliché hint that he is the only one who can defeat Leo. Taiga gets serious in using his speed and strength to take out Ratel in a single blow. She manages to dodge the lethal blow and survive. Come at her again, bro.

Episode 9
The reason why we have to hear Nomoto narrate his drifting and boring life is so that this should play some ‘important’ part in today’s episode. Get on with Destroyal already. Ratel takes another hit from Taiga and still survives. It seems she is trying to estimate his attacks and she is confident she has analysed them. Taiga now acknowledges her skill and strength and to respect that, his next ultimate move will kill her in one blow. Before it begins, Ui interrupts to warn about Kido. Then she sees how fierce Taiga is and runs like hell, only to be incapacitated by Civet’s pheromones. Bunny wants to f*ck? Everybody especially Yoko is blaming and accusing Nomoto will be responsible for Ratels’ death. It makes him panic at first and questioning what he is doing here in the first place. Don’t worry. He’ll find the answer soon. He realizes his life changed because of her and she has saved him many times. So when it is his turn to move, he has Ratel stay at her spot. He will take responsibility for his decision. He might sound so cool and all but Yoko is not buying it and just mocks he won’t regret it (she thinks he will) and cry later. Taiga and Ratel leap into action only to be interrupted again. It’s Kido. Ratel is temporarily knocked out by his armoured tail. It seems all this is calculated by Yoko. In hopes of defeating Taiga, she used Ratel to keep him company here. Also, this open spot means Kido will be able to focus on fighting instead of protecting the trees. Flashback sees how Yoko got him under her wing. She told him Shidou’s experiments harmed nature and the result of this was the creation of Ratel. Hence he agreed to follow his calling to return this abomination to nature and protect the natural order. Ui escapes from Civet’s grasp by luring her into an endless pit and then burying it! Don’t think rabbits are stupid and good for multiplying. Ratel is pounded by Kido. Before she is done in, Taiga returns the favour of secretly ambushing him. Taiga goes on the offensive but none of his claws could dent his armour all over his body. It is revealed that Kido is Brute Pangolin. Man, in his true form he looks like some badass armoured god or something.

Episode 10
Kido balls up into a defensive position. Taiga keeps hitting it until he thinks there is an opening. But it is a trap to grab his hand and tear it off! Before he gets owned, Okajima jumps into the fray. Although he could match Kido’s strength, his skin isn’t as hard and gets stabbed. This allows Taiga to revive and tear off Kido’s right eye! But in exchange he too gets stabbed. With that, Yoko jumps the gun to brag how superior Mitsukado is and everyone is second rate. Counting her chickens? Eruza intends to fight Kido. I mean, even if she is faster can she stand a chance? No need for that because Ratel revives in time. But she has evolved into her true form! Shidou narrates she is an Origin beast. Unlike other Therianthropes who undergo surgery, she is born with its natural DNA. We interrupt this programme to bring you Shidou’s flashback 7 years ago in Hong Kong. There was some wild animal kid whose real origins are unknown, kept stealing food from the locals. Shidou knew she is an Origin and tried to lure her with food. Lots of them. It sure took a lot of scratching and beating up before he could get close to her. Even so, she maintained her distance. As she is capable of human emotions and understanding, he calls her Hitomi as he could see all that in her eye. Apparently on the night Hitomi could say his name for the first time, Shidou’s colleague has had enough of him playing daddy and fires a tranquilizer at her. Though she runs, she soon collapses. Bad news, she collapsed at the local mafia’s place and she has been stealing a lot from them. When Shidou finds her, he tries to negotiate but gets beaten up. Hitomi sees Shidou getting beaten up as he shields her. I’m not sure if those punks are speaking Chinese because their accent sound so thick and foreign like Russian. Anyway, Shidou could have been done for had not Shinozaki kung fu kick her way to save them. It was then Hitomi started to click with Shidou and went from being an animal to human. Noting she won’t survive if she abandons her animal instincts, he needs her to sharpen her fangs at Destroyal. Ratel is faster than the naked eye and could knock Kido off his feet. She is ecstatic he is tough, sturdy and not break easily so she could toy with him even more. Did the real monster just awaken?

Episode 11
Ratel is like having fun fighting Kido. When she deals him a painful blow, he curls up into a defensive position. Ratel kicks him like a football. Kido realizes he has destroyed a few trees. Flashback shows his mom somewhat left the family and left him a pot of plants as her substitute to take care in place of her. Kido did that but his drunk dad destroyed it while claiming mom was a slut, etc. In his rage, he killed his father. This means it is Kido’s turn to evolve into another super pangolin. Anybody who bullies his mama will die! His scales are sharper and now he is destroying trees without regards in his attempt to kill Ratel. He manages to cut off an arm of her, causing immense pain. However she will not give in to death so she throws her arm into his head as distraction and then jumps up closely to his face. Her gentle smile reminds Kido of his mom. He lets his guard down and Ratel thrusts her arm through his face! Yoko is left furious and embarrassed since she counted her chickens. Ratel collapses from exhaustion but has a happy look on her face. However Kido gets up! Is he a zombie now since his brains are all smashed?! That is when Eruza slices his throat. That’s the end of him for good. Second time Yoko going berserk in the span of seconds. Eruza will spare Ratel’s life as respect for taking on Kido. But now she is off to face Ui who really thinks she is going to get f*cked. There is no way a rabbit could beat or outrun a cheetah, right? She runs as fast but Eruza is on her tail. But Ui slips on a rock and accidentally does a somersault kick into Eruza’s chin, knocking her out. OMG! Ui as the last Brute standing wins Destroyal???!!! WTF???!!! The one who hardly did any fighting or gets her paws dirty won???!!! No wonder everybody is in shock. No wonder Yoko has gone crazy. With the win, the Zaibatsu bosses are now discussing things but the Ishida boss becomes cocky since he is the winner. Sumitomo boss believes Yatsubishi and Ishida colluded with each other since they had better board positions and dice rolls. But the outcome is the outcome. Suddenly all electricity is cut off. Nomoto is worried about Hitomi. On the island, it seems all camera crew are mercilessly killed by… Chameleon people???!!! They plan to kill off all surviving Brutes and officially there will be no winners of Destroyal. Everything will be lost in the shadows and only they will know the truths.

Episode 12
Ui’s sharp hearing has her evade the chameleon’s tongue lash. Lucky for her, Ratel is still able to fight and kill a couple of them although she is back to collapsing. Before the remaining chameleons could finish them off, Shinozaki kills all of them. She is here to interview Ui as the winner. You shocked, sister? Meanwhile Shidou confronts Sumitomo’s boss and knows those chameleons are his stealth assassins. He does not hesitate to admit he did this to nullify the results and make use of this ensuing chaos. Just as his secretary is about to transform and kill off everyone, Leo kills him. Shidou also points out Yozan is also another one who committed a sin. Because he controls Japan’s economy, instead of using the Theriomorphosis technology to benefit everyone, he used it to benefit only himself and his Zaibatsu. Before Yozan could rebel, Leo kills him! Oh sh*t! Yoko wonders how she will face grandpa when she sees his bloody corpse. Shidou says he died of a heart attack. Of course she is not blind and knows he is killed. So they admit about some their plan of theirs and killing him is the best way to minimise casualties. Yoko orders Leo to kill them all but he will not listen. Leo only serves himself. She is left in shock as Leo deals the final blow to her. How does it feel to use others as pawns and now she is being used as one? In order to force her into his submission, he rapes her! OMFG!!!

Life returns to normal for Nomoto. It has been 2 weeks Hitomi and Okajima left. Quiet days are here. He has a few suitcases of money that prove Destroyal happened but he is too afraid of opening them. Out of the blue, he gets a call from Hitomi to meet. At the junkyard, he is glad to see her recovering. Looks like they patched her arm back too. He starts off first by thanking her for everything. He now understands what it means to have the sharpest fangs. It is not to run but to stand and fight and the fangs represent the will to fight. Hitomi is embarrassed because it sounded like he was confessing to her. Now it’s her turn to thank him for sticking with her till the end. And just when you think the mood is getting good between them, SHE SLASHES HIM!!! OMFG!!! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!!! SHE REALLY KILLED HIM!!! It seems it was orders from Shidou. He told her his existence would be a nuisance. She leaves and as proof she did have some sort of feelings for him (even if it is not of the romantic kind), she sheds a few tears. We now have a time skip in which there is an entirely new district, an artificial island on Tokyo Bay specially built for Therianthropes. There is an arena in the middle of it for Killing Bites. We see a bunch of new Therianthrope hopefuls as the next tournament is around the corner. Hey wait. Is that guy at the end, Nomoto?!

Bloody Roar: Beast Wars!
I have to admit that I actually enjoyed watching this series. Yes it was fun. Fun enough that I thought having a dozen episodes was too short and it should have 2 cours! Yeah… Perhaps it was my initial scepticism that made me have very low expectations of this series. I mean, people transform into a certain animal, fight it out, victor triumphs over loser. Basically that is what the series is but I suppose they put in some interesting animal section and bits and that’s why I find it interesting overall.

But of course this series might be good but it is not a masterpiece and I would rate it above average. This is because of the very lengthy Destroyal arc that accounts for more than half of the series. It could just well be a Destroyal arc since after the quick introduction arc, we get down to what this series is all about. I don’t think a single tournament dictates would the winning Zaibatsu absolute power as with big boys playing a big risky game like this, there would have to be more of such tournaments to test their mettle. After all, there could be other bigger tournaments and this Destroyal is just one of the mini ones akin to the dessert of the main course. While it is fun to see several Brutes fighting each other, but they really drag it out with this Destroyal arc tournament. Of course they build up the main character as well as showcase some fight scenes but such long fighting arcs only remind me of Dragonball and One Piece where it looks like it takes forever just to finish a fight. It could have finished a bit faster but then when you consider the pacing, what is left there to show after Destroyal? I guess this is much better than hanging halfway in another tournament. That’s why I said this needed to be 2 cours.

One of the tantalizing draws of this series is of course the fighting scenes involving different types of Therianthropes. Although their powers and skills are somewhat exaggerated, this is all based on actual animal abilities. I mean, when you have genetically engineered and enhanced humans, surely their animal powers would be enhanced too. Well, at least they are not making those Brutes shoot hadoken or fireballs. Good thing or bad thing that dragons and unicorns don’t really exist, just saying… Making the action sequences interesting to watch is how sometimes the narrator would narrate interesting trivia about that particular animal. Yeah, it is like watching a mini National Geographic channel sometimes. Interesting. Thanks to this series, now I know what a ratel is and how ferocious one can be. Yeah, before that I never knew such animal existed! Heck, I was wondering what the f*ck was this wolverine/skunk/badger creature is.

And of course the other draw is the mild ecchi moments. Because Hitomi prefers going around in her singlet and undies, this sexy beast is your main source of ecchi fanservice. If tough kickass badass Hitomi/Ratel is not your type, I guess we have cat girl, Eruza. Sort of. Furry fetish fans might get a little teasing after that Hitomi-Eruza make out during Destroyal. Like as though it was the moment we have all been waiting for. It would be a waste not to have hot sexy girls get lesbian with each other, right? But sorry, not extreme furry hentai. If you’re not into such tough chicks, maybe rabbit girl Ui would be your type. Heck, all Therianthropes females are just sexy. Even Gecko. Until she transforms into one.

Can’t say much about the characters except that since Hitomi is the main character, we have a lot of screen time on her and even a flashback episode of her origin. Because Nomoto feels like a side supporting extra character that isn’t exactly needed. He just exists so that we could see and compare how Hitomi’s life has changed after he meets a gentle wimp. It is also to show that Nomoto isn’t a total loser despite just doing average in college. He’s got a coveted piece like Ratel and for his case of playing with the big boys is like a rabbit walking in a den of lions. So out of place. So sugoi. But still a wuss nevertheless. If this guy goes for Therianthropes surgery, his animal would be a cat. Because you know, he’s a pussy. Haha!!! He isn’t main character material so much so he gets killed off!!! OMG. That was really the shocker. Didn’t see that one coming.

But I don’t know if this guy has returned in the end because it certainly looks like a meaner him. After all, Hitomi didn’t exactly ‘kill’ him. The old Nomoto ‘died’ and a new one underwent a surgery to become a Therianthrope. That is the only way he could continue to be alive. I believe this is how the plot flows along more of this line. Otherwise, even though Nomoto isn’t pretty much that likeable (not that you would hate him) but he isn’t the kind of guy whom you would like the see being killed off after all that has happened. I would like to say that Nomoto and Hitomi complement and change each other although it is the latter who seems to be dominating and wearing the pants (or pantsu in her case) around. I know Hitomi is such a badass but she starts getting a bit annoying with her ‘favourite quote’ when she keeps reminding us about that sharpest fangs thingy wins because this is what Killing Bites. Yeah, for the umpteenth time, roll credits. We get it already!

If Nomoto feels out of place, the same can be said about Ui. Because as we know that Destroyal is one big tough mother sh*t death battle and to cast such a weakling just to fulfil the quota seems strange. Yeah, it’s like the producers thought that they needed another character who will not outshine Ratel in the tournament but also does enough and small supporting bits here and there whenever the convenient plot and flow of the story calls for it. To add insult, they make her win Destroyal! WTF???!!! It wasn’t the strongest. It wasn’t the fastest. It wasn’t the most durable. It wasn’t the smartest. Heck, it wasn’t the one even with the sharpest fangs! It all boils down to luck. Isn’t that what a rabbit foot is? And boy, you thought Ui was going to be a comical character in Destroyal, digging holes the only way she knows best, screaming and running away from stronger and scarier Brutes who look like they’re out to rape her once she is in her sight, and then boom! A fluke shot has her win this entire tournament. Without even bloodying her paws! Yeah, it feels like one of those strategies where the weakest waits in the shadows, waiting for all the strong ones to finish and take out each other before going for the final kill. Saves time, saves energy. Rules are still rules. Last one standing takes it all.

I also want to mention something about that crazy snob b*tch, Yoko. We know she is taking part in all of this is so that she could win back the kind grandfather she once knew. But the ironic and mind boggling part of it all is that in order to turn back her grandfather (assuming this method works), she herself turns into a bloodthirsty thrill seeker just like him. I am pretty sure this isn’t the way of fighting fire with fire. Perhaps this all part of Yozan’s plan to groom her to become the next heir and she is unknowingly dancing in the palm of his hands. Or is this her way of taking over and becoming the next maniac in place of her grandpa? Too bad her grandpa died. Either way, that guy looks like he is ready to kick the bucket in a few more years.

Because she is so snobbish and acts like she knows it all before Nomoto, I was hoping to see her break down and perhaps even starting to fall for this wuss! Imagine looking down on someone she thinks lacks everything only to find that she herself has fared much worse. Her breakdown would be complete after her crazy mind decides that Nomoto is quite a strong guy himself and hence she would start throwing herself all at him! More cat fight with Ratel then. Oh yeah, the fight for Nomoto begins! Ironically, strong women fighting over a weak guy? Only happens in male fantasies-cum-delusions. But too bad the old Nomoto won’t be around for that. She would have become Leo’s sex slave under his new lion male pride harem by then. Just desserts? In a way, I feel pity for her fate to turn out like that. Well, you get what you give.

Shidou continues to remain a mysterious and enigmatic character. He looks like a good guy seeing he treats Hitomi kind and like a family member. But I can’t help think that there is an ulterior motive to it all. I mean, if you think about it, what does he plan to achieve in the research and development of Therianthropes? Does he want to rule the world with his army of mind controlled Therianthropes? Or by a long shot does he intend to find a cure for man’s deadliest disease and having humans undergo such risky surgery is one of its convoluted steps. Even though his plan to bring a world for Therianthropes sounds noble and great, there seems to be more than meets the eye to it. Perhaps in the near future, more revelations and bombshells regarding Shidou’s true colours will be revealed. Especially one I am having a conspiracy theory that will have all her trust and faith for him destroyed and she begin her next stage of evolution as she fights against him instead of being his darling. Hey, this series already has a few shockers and I believe there will be more. Just expecting the unexpected, that’s all.

This series also has a funny segment although it is not part of the main episode and right before the next episode preview, Guide Them Oshie-chan. Oshie Nodoguro is supposedly Hitomi’s classmate and perhaps self-proclaimed best friend. Her character is supposed to take after that honeyguide bird as this segment also doubles as a documentary for it. We learn the characteristics as well as its somewhat symbiotic relationship with the ratel. However in the end whatever Oshie does she fails or her plans backfire and hence cue the punchline of this segment: Because however Oshie isn’t a Therianthrope.

Art and animation feel decent. Certain Brute designs feel a bit weird like Taiga who looks more of a monster cat than anything a tiger. And Eruza looks more like Tarzan girl than anything cheetah. Uhm maybe too sexy for me to notice. After all, cheetahs are skinny and lanky among the feline species. And sorry, she isn’t exactly Kemono Friends material either. I know seeing Okajima’s sumo built makes him having a character of brute raw strength but because his face look like an owl, I keep thinking he should have been an owl too! Okay, maybe sticking to being a hippo is better. Gorilla feels like his oversized arms make the rest of his body hanging. It’s so odd. Like as though he skipped a leg day.

CGI is used but not as often. Mostly used when Kido transforms into his godly pangolin form. Not as bad but still the jarring is a bit obvious. There are also blood and gore so if your furry fetish isn’t strong enough to overcome this, you won’t be fapping to this anytime. This is also what I observed. How come male Brutes are able to transform many of their body parts into animals (if not their entire body) while the females only a few parts transformed and the remaining naughty bits as human? Damn the chances of jerking off are too damn high! This series is animated by Lindefilms who did Yamada And The Seven Witches, Koi To Uso, the Arslan Senki remake and Miss Monochrome.

Voice acting I only recognize Rikiya Koyama as Shidou and Yuuichi Nakamura as Taiga. The rest are Sora Amamiya as Hitomi/Ratel (titular character in Akame Ga Kill), Wataru Hatano as Nomoto (Gajeel in Fairy Tail), Maaya Uchida as Eruza (Rikka in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai), Sumire Uesaka as Ui (Aletta in Isekai Shokudou), Megumi Han as Yoko (Jeanne in Shingeki No Bahamut series), Ryoukan Koyanagi as Kido (Ottarl in DanMachi series), Tooru Okawa as Okajima (Gordes in Fate/Apocrypha) and Sayaka Harada as Oshie (Chiya in Urara Meirochou).

Chinatsu Akasaki as Shinozaki as absolutely the craziest. Although she voiced weird characters like Yasuna from Kill Me Baby, Alice from Shokugeki No Souma and Shinka from Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai, none has matched the exuberance and passion from this Shinozaki character. As the emcee for Destroyal, you can hear her scream with a passion as she narrates to the excited audience the ongoing death battles. Even more so when she narrates the next episode preview. It’s like she is having an orgasm as she passionately shrieks at the top of her voice. Like as though this is the most exciting thing she has ever witnessed or the only thing in life that she looks forward to. Kudos and hats off to her for making that Shinozaki character really sound excitedly crazy. It’s showdown!

The hard rock based opening theme that is the same name of this series suits the action. As this is sung by Fripside, don’t expect all that techno trademark that you would normally hear in To Aru Kagatsu No Railgun, Black Bullet and Clockwork Planet. Though, the rock beat style is still pretty familiar. More hard rock music for your soul as the ending theme is one too, Kedamono Damono by Kitsunesuki. Also, more chances for your horny libido as we see the females in the series in very sexy poses and outfits, increasing your masturbating chances and even more if you are a furry lover. Damn if they could make such women so hot and sexy looking, why the f*ck do they need to turn them into beasts?! Just turn them into absolutely stunning human babes!!! Yeah, I’m not really a furry fan that’s why I’m thinking so.

Overall, even this series is garbage, it was still fun and enjoyable for me in the trashiest sense. So bad that it is even good? Well, even before watching this show and reading the synopsis I knew it wasn’t going to be Oscar material or a classic Japanese masterpiece. But still want another season nevertheless. Animal action scenes and sexy animal babes that are not 100% furry are what attracted me. After all, you need to watch so many crap animes first before hitting a good one. It would really be the ultimate Killing Bites if there was a character would turn into a penguin or panda! Or even a hamster! Nobody hates such cute creatures, right? Oh yeah, I would pay to watch that one and put all my money on them to win. Screw your sharpest fangs wins them all. The one which is cutest wins! That is Cutie Bites!

Although Wooser No Sono Higurashi has been out for many years and had a handful of seasons, I decided not to watch this short simply because I thought the very cartoonish drawing and animation meant that this anime was for little kids and toddlers. Everything looked so cute that I thought it just wasn’t the anime for my corrupted heart. Yeah… Then one day I read the short synopsis and was became somewhat interested. It says despite the innocent outlook, the main character lies a corrupted heart underneath. Hmm… Is this going to be a dark anime? But it is comedy genre, right? And the clincher? The line that says that he will continue to protect the things he love like money, meat and girls by doing nothing. Oh yeah. This I got to see.

Episode 1
Wooser is not really motivated that he has his own TV. Whatever it is, as long as the money rolls in, he is okay. Rin interrupts and does her own introduction. Wooser is swinging on a tyre like a panda in a zoo, something that all the kids think he is. Rin, who is cleaning the cage accidentally trips on the tools, causing the rake to poke the back of his head. At the farm while feeding a cow, Rin wishes cows can talk so she could ask how good the grass taste. But for Wooser, he just wants to ask how can something that eats grass has its meat tastes so good!

Episode 2
Wooser lazily explains why he loves bribe. Eating other people’s money is the best! Wooser spies on a group of quartet girls. All of them are playing the bass! Is one of them playing an air bass? While Miho and Yuu are talking and walking up the stairs, they didn’t realize they stepped on Wooser. Apparently he had been lying there so he could look at their panties. It was worth all that stepping. Yeah, he even didn’t mind getting burnt after that. The girls are seen at Wooser’s funeral! But they talk about him being a scumbag and wonder if he is burnable trash. Oh, was he something edible too?

Episode 3
Wooser is the king of his kingdom. If he only had subjects… When he does have Rin and Len as his royal subjects, they start bugging him for stuffs. Wooser’s ass itches. I guess it gives him a lazy excuse to cancel this series due to the main character’s health complications! The girls just know he is faking the illness. Wooser is typing furiously on his computer. Seems there is a deadline to complete. As the days pass by, he finally finishes and sends it in the nick of time. He is glad October has 33 days. Till the girls point out there are only 31 days. Yeah, he missed it anyway.

Episode 4
Wooser disagrees he loves uniforms openly. Because it is no good without delicious rice. He pours furikake on his rice and enjoys his food. The girls become DJs while Wooser is singing his whatever rap song. One of his lines is Mexican Salamander but they probably didn’t get it and just repeat it as some gibberish. Wooser moulds a clay bowl but doesn’t like the way it turns out. He mentions how picky he is not only about girls but their uniforms. It makes him feel better about himself. He moulds again and this time it is perfect. Perfect fit as a skirt for his girl figurine.

Episode 5
Wooser is sleeping and dreaming of skirts, thighs and stockings! He wants to eat all of them instead of just one! Eventually he mumbles he can’t eat them all. Rin wonders if he is dreaming about food but Len knows better it is about girls. Rin gets the wrong idea wondering if girls can be eaten. The girls graduate from school and talk about stuffs. Wooser is patiently waiting for any of them to give him their uniform. Any time now… The girls are dismayed that the series will end. Because Wooser claims he worked so hard and none gave him their uniform! He walks off… End of part 1?

Episode 6
Wooser is missing so they put a beach scenery instead. Because Rin and Len are in their bishoujo form (Hubba! Hubba!), I guess this brings Wooser back. He starts describing Rin’s assets. She doesn’t like it and throws a coconut at him. As the duo continue to play in the sea, Wooser continues to stare at them and is asked if he likes small boobs. It doesn’t matter as long as the girl is slender. Rin doesn’t like it and throws a sea urchin at him. At the beach house, Wooser wants to order a beam. What? His eyes start glowing like a beam before turning into a giant robot causing rampage over town! Luckily it is just a dream. But Wooser is still a robot?!

Episode 7
The girls are admiring a tree filled with cicadas. But how come that big yellow one looks pretty familiar? And its mating call goes something like, “I want uniforms… I want uniforms”. The girls walk away. So why does Wooser love uniforms so much? It’s probably the same answer we like jewels. Wooser is being chased by a lion. I’m not sure about his logic to use its head as water for the bath so he can join in with the girls but he gets eaten. No Wooser, you didn’t win but lost! Rin and Len see how the sun and sunflowers are laughing and smiling. But in Wooser’s mind, they are giving out an evil and creepy laughter! He starts to shrivel in fear but in reality he just suffered heat stroke.

Episode 8
They have a long weekend so Rin bugs Wooser to do something. You know that lazy bum… Eventually she also sleeps all day long. Each time Wooser wakes up, he reminds himself he still has a long weekend. Eventually the last day is here… Not so long weekend, eh? However as the lazy ass he is, he has no regrets for being lazy and doing nothing. Back to more sleep. Wooser is a giant monster rampaging the city for uniforms. Rin and Len summon and ride their giant mecha to save the day but since it takes so long, they ran out of time. Episode over.

Episode 9
Wooser thought it would be nice to take up the offer and become a superhuman hero. Then he turns into a grasshopper and since he doesn’t like the looks, he’ll destroy the world! The girls can’t wait to taste the BBQ meat. You thought Wooser was in his robot suite doing the grilling and seasoning, eh? Actually the real Wooser is being burnt over a fire! He is the meat! When Wooser notes something in his diary, Len thought he is going to do something naughty today. Actually it turns out to be a dentist appointment. Disappointing? Yeah, his diary has no other agenda so it looked so lonely. But Rin has a question: Does Wooser even have teeth?! Wooser wants to form his own secret society. Himself as the boss, the girls as his generals, his clones as knights, priests and the government while other useless friends as useless henchmen. All that is left is the mascot character. Isn’t it himself?

Episode 10
Mecha Wooser is terrorizing the town again. Don’t fear, Rin and Len are here. They transform into their bishoujo magical girl form but we only get to see Rin’s transformation. Knowing how Wooser likes money, they drop cash and big gold bars till he explodes! And the day is saved. During the rainy season, Rin admires the beautiful flowers and a snail riding on a turtle. She thinks they are good friends but Wooser hints about how adults always mention never to do things but yet they still end up doing it and without rest. The girls don’t understand what he said.

Episode 11
When Wooser was young, he admire detectives. Then he sees Milky Holmes being idiots at the supermarket sampling sausage! He realizes detectives don’t do as much deductions as kid thinks. As Wooser eats his meat, he thinks about the popular belief people will tend to eat less when they get older. So he vehemently protests that he will never ever get enough of meat, money or girls! He is so fired up that he burns himself over the grill. Wooser seems to be preparing the bed for steamy night. When he finishes, he accidentally steps on a thumbtack and crashes into the furniture. When Rin enters, she sees Wooser’s soul ‘sleeping’ beside his body.

Episode 12
Wooser thinks everyone should hibernate for 1/3 of the year. This is a better way to be environmentally friendly to Earth since you don’t use electricity and other stuffs. Wow. Wooser thinking like this? Or is he just plain lazy? It would be ideal of Wooser if not for those hibernating bears using him as pillow! Wooser sees the girls ice skating and thinks of coming up with a new move. The obi pulling technique! So cool that all the judges give him full marks! Wooser presents himself as the Christmas present to the girls! Then all the characters hold hands and dance about around the world.

Special
Wooser as true to himself is asking the girls what kind of colour they wear for their panties! They gladly answer him since he says it is part of his designer plan. Giant Wooser is causing mayhem again asking for uniforms so Rin and Len summon their mecha to fight him. However Wooser has a barrier to block their beam. They combine more parts and send a rocket punch to him. Wooser is defeat and returns to his original size. The battle might be won but not the war because Wooser continues to cause his brand of trouble for uniforms and meat.

Season 2: Kakusei-hen

The second season since we cannot get enough of that yellow creature. Right?

Episode 1
An entire episode of the girls in bishoujo form? Rin and Len are playing tennis and the yellow pervert is spying on them while making perverted comments on the score they get. The same duo are caught in the rain as they take shelter at a store. Wooser loves seeing how soaked they are since he gets to see through their wet clothes. Then a car splashes the puddle over him. At the supermarket where Miss Monochrome is demonstrating her batteries to kids, Wooser is glad the supermarket is closing because he is fed up of the end song. He discards his big mascot suit to return to his original self.

Episode 2
A kappa monster attacks the city. But because Wooser continues to sleep, everyone died! And he acknowledges it! Wooser narrates his rough life behind the scenes as a hero. It is about how some super grasshopper bestowed him powers but he struggles to take the train and taxi and the scolding he gets from his job till he got fired. So sad that he called his mom who instantly gave him lots of goodies and money. Wooser is clicking like mad and won’t stop even if the end result is a picture of a panda peeking at him.

Episode 3
Wooser finds the deep underwater creatures strange but fascinating. Till he realizes they never left home. Wooser notes a hero on TV only works 30 minutes a week. But a real hero like him has to be constantly be vigilant. He is lonely. He feels so sad and starts crying and doesn’t need friends. But the girls tell him to get over it and come home. Mecha Wooser is causing havoc again asking for money, meat and girls. Turns out to be a dream. He is in hospital as he starts acting dramatically while taking his medicine, puts on his drips and makes everybody hate him!

Episode 4
Wooser tells us some of the food he will never eat. The only thing he will ever eat is meat. He sings his praises for it and even has written a song for his Wagyuu beef! He is getting down and funky! Too bad the girls didn’t feel his lame love. But the cow did?! The girls are happy their favourite sportsman wins. This has Wooser thinking how he will be under the spotlight of the media. He imagines himself in that position. Girls by his side and accepting money. Suddenly he is arrested for corruption! This snaps him out as he vows never to become famous! Don’t worry. He won’t. As the girls enjoy their watermelon, Wooser notes he hates salt on it. But when he thinks of something perverted with it, Darth Wooser starts spitting watermelon seeds at him to eliminate the enemy!

Episode 5
Senketsu of Kill La Kill fame wants Wooser to wear him! But the yellow idiot won’t because dresses are only meant to be worn by girls! Wooser is thinking some perverted versions of a few American landmarks. But somehow he ended up in some bondage position. Wooser notes in hero shows, there is always like many heroes but 1 baddie. Why not send many baddies at one go? Maybe they really don’t want to destroy the world because that would be the end of everything. Rin thinks the baddies are just lonely so everybody starts crying. We understand your pain… Wooser narrates how Earth isn’t so bad since he lost his mothership to return to his own planet. At least he loves girls and cows. Len playing with her bazooka accidentally fires at him, turning him into fireworks.

Episode 6
What’s this? Wooser piloting Chamber of Suisei No Gargantia ?! Wooser dreams of his favourites. Meat, uniforms and money. He tells us people dream because if it was easy to achieve, they wouldn’t need reality. That is why recently he has been spending his free time sleeping. Because in his dream he can fly and become a hero! And there is this fake and exaggerated dream of Wooser being some intergalactic hero on the run, finds orphaned Rin and Len, take care of them and watch them grow up. Yeah, nice dream. Till he crashes out of bed. Welcome back to reality. The girls are visiting a chicken farm. For some reason, Wooser is turned into a chicken and shipped away!

Episode 7
There is a reason why the girls are in their bishoujo form. Because it is the fanservice hotspring! Wooser must be damn happy to share the same hotspring with them. He then complains about wanting to drink something else other than sake. Dark Wooser suggests roast racoon soup and he agrees. Wooser wonders if Santa really appeared over American skies, would they shoot it down on live TV? Then he acts out as the American president who gave orders to his jets to shoot him down! There goes Christmas. But the gang still gets to celebrate them. Wooser is glad to have asked Santa for a present. Who knows, Santa actually returned with a cute girl as requested! So Wooser is worried of going to prison?

Episode 8
Wooser talks about beavers making dams and monopolizing the use of the river but wonders I sea otters care about it. When Wooser was young, he used some graph paper to draw his secret base. It is an elaborate underground building with a giant mecha and a launch gate extending to the sea. He believes he is a realist over dreams so the girls wonder about the giant mecha he is having now. When Chihaya returns to her room, Wooser and his mascot friends are waiting to give her a birthday surprise. After Wooser sings a strange rendition of happy birthday, they become forceful in wanting her to blow the candles. More creepy than cute. This freaks her out as she calls her producer about strange animals in her room.

Episode 9
Wooser narrates about his ‘tough’ life but still goes on living. Because he believes that once you’re dead, you’ll end up in some dark crowded space with no TV. That would suck. For some reason, he wants to die and then ends up dead. And then revives. It is raining and Wooser seems to like it because he gets to stay indoors when everybody else laments they can’t go outside. This insensitivity has Len throw Darth Wooser at him and runs away. Darth Wooser then punches him to remind him about Len’s important day today. Rin and Darth Wooser find Len at the park. They remember today is the day Wooser ate her steak and she got mad and ran away. Wooser comes by and since he starts spouting pathetic nonsense, nothing like Darth Wooser’s laser beam to put him in place. Wooser says to go home. A beautiful rainbow in the sky brightens up their day as they take a group photo.

Episode 10
Rin and Len are paying their respects at a grave and oddly, Wooser is narrating good things about the value of things and to think positively. Wooser tells us a trivia that sakura trees are never torn down or replanted, which is ideal to bury bodies! Miho is seen digging near one and when she has Rin to come help, Wooser finds his old poem notebook! Immediately he buries it again and suggests everyone bury things underneath it. Wooser is starring through the glass ogling at girls. He is hoping they won’t need their uniforms once they graduate. Rin and Len spot him spying and want to call the teacher but he falls off. This might be the third floor but you know how tough he is.

Episode 11
As an adult, Wooser won’t ask for anything stupid for his birthday. He won’t even want his birthday to be a national holiday. All he asks is for him to sleep in. Wooser and Rin on a road trip on their sidecar. But travelling with a dog? Now stranded on an island, he thinks about the question if a girl should ever asks him, would work or him be more important? Of course he would want to say he would only want her for her body and money in a positive way. But first he needs to think of a way to get off this island.

Episode 12
Wooser sees Rin and Len all grown up and able to do things without his guidance. Wait a minute. Has he been doing anything in the first place?! Wooser is even told off not to be in the way if he is going to laze around and not help them who are busy with something. With that, Wooser gets up and makes his way to his underground lab. He leaves the rest to Darth Wooser who hopes he will return soon. Wooser rides his mecha up into space to fight and destroy evil alien Woosers!!! His ship takes a real beating as he vows to protect Earth’s money, meat and girls! I supposed with that slow lovely ballad and Wooser getting owned, is it supposed to make us feel pity for him? Even more so everyone else is actually making a surprise birthday party for Wooser! When Rin and Len go to get him, he is not around. They think he is late as always. Little do they know, the space battle might have ended in a big climatic outer space explosion. All they see is a shooting star and wish they’ll always be together.

Season 3: Mugen-hen

Because we cannot get enough of Wooser, the third season is slightly longer and with more episodes (albeit by just 1 one) to satisfy our love-hate cravings for him.

Episode 1
Continuing off from last season’s cliff-hanger, Wooser looks like he is about to sacrifice himself to destroy the aliens but his robot seems not to activate on his command. It is hijacked by Darth Wooser who against his commands will not let his master die. He ejects Wooser into a mini mecha as it is sent hurtling out of the Solar System. Wooser is then awakened by… Ultraman heroes???!!! They tell him he has a planet he needs to return to and protect. With that, he is hurtled back to the planet he loves in blazing speed. But he crash lands in an unknown land. Like a Pokemon Gameboy map, he rides different animals across different terrains to return home. He thought he could surprise everybody but nobody is around. Then it hit him time has flown back on Earth. There is no way they would have waited for him. Suddenly everyone pops a happy birthday surprise. Len thought he got mad and went on a journey after being scolded. As I understand, Darth Wooser detected some code in the mecha that allowed him to predict Wooser’s return and hence calling everyone back. Everyone welcomes him back. Rin and Len want to hear stories of his return journey but think he is probably lying about riding animals and took taxis instead. The group of Ultraman heroes are action figures standing proudly atop a shelf.

Episode 2
Wooser loves the internet because of gullible people he could troll! Darth Wooser notes the useless master he is and Wooser can read what is on his mind. Wooser even went on to berate his servant for thinking so and threatens for him to blow up. Of course Darth Wooser denies ever saying such things. Later as Darth Wooser thinks by himself, he indeed wanted to say something of that sort to his master. What if there was somebody to tell him in his place… So Wooser is continuing his internet trolling when here comes… Darth Wooser Mk-II! This evil creation didn’t hesitate to tell off the loser but Wooser doesn’t care. He orders Mk-II to clean the room. And guess what? He throws away his laptop! You don’t need junk that will turn you into a NEET! More horror for Wooser as Mk-II throws away his Smartphone, manga, games and everything else! If that is not bad enough, Mk-II whips Wooser into shape by forcing him to exercise and study through the night. No sleep! Wow. Have you hear Wooser scream like this before? Early next morning as Darth Wooser goes to check on him, to his surprise Wooser is already up, doing exercise and even being quite considerate. So did the plan work? Now Wooser is looking up to Mk-II as his sensei. This means Darth Wooser is no longer needed! All part of Mk-II’s plan to replace him and become this season’s regular character! Oh no you don’t! Darth Wooser initiates a self destruct button that his him blow up into pieces! Darth Wooser wants Wooser to remain as the useless, lazy, internet trolling master so he could serve him forever. But that sounded like him dissing Wooser and now the entire house explodes!

Episode 3
The deadline is near and this is what the master of procrastination has done: Nothing! Ah yes, Wooser. He spent last night getting drunk with sponsors to secure funds and today he needs to crack his head for his manga deadline. The girls are being too noisy watching TV so he tells them to pipe down. They are not listening as Wooser hears them idolizing a handsome idol. This makes him fantasize about himself as a handsome lanky yellow dude! And all the girls would hog around him! Personally, I thought this form is just creepy. The girls then feel hot because the air-cond has shut down. Wooser imagines them undressing but is punched to reality by Darth Wooser. Sorry, mosquito on your face. The girls then suggest heading to the beach. They have a splash and swell time. This adventure becomes the source for Wooser’s manga. He gives Darth Wooser the honour to read it first. What do you think of this masterpiece? More like crap! Crappy art too! So much so he throws it away citing sending it out like this would only contribute more to the landfill. Eventually Wooser decides to give up and do nothing. That’s Wooser for you.

Episode 4
Wooser is trying to get psychological with us, saying this is going to be the 88,888th time you are going to see this show. As proof, the characters will be different than usual and we are not going to realize it. So it starts off with everyone looking the same. Wooser is still sleeping despite Darth Wooser trying to wake him up for the draft selection. But Wooser continues to be lazy and sleep in. That is when the owl mascot engages in some thesis debate about sleep and waking up. It’s too technical for me to understand and bother. Then there is Rin spamming questions like why Wooser sleeps (so he can dream about girls) and why he likes girls (because they are there) and there is Darth Wooser doing his online research on the thesis. The battle to wake up Wooser continues with similes thrown in and lame excuses until all that laziness causes some sort of dark spiral aura that turns everything into nothing. Wooser is happy he can continue sleeping without anybody bugging him. And before our Agent Wooser Smith can bug us about the 88,889th time, we cut to the ending. Thank goodness.

Episode 5
It’s that time again when Wooser is being lazy and doesn’t want to finish his manuscript. Oh wait. He is always this lazy! So he starts thinking how nice it would be if he is able to clone himself to get his work done faster. So the ultimate number is 53 Woosers? Unfortunately they all have that same lazy personality… 53 times the laziness! When the girls and other mascot animals start coming in, snapping their fingers and do some weird abstract dance, turns out to be some ritual to summon Monochrome. When her eyes meet Wooser, their hearts become connected. In Monochrome’s bid to stand out more, they form a team to become top idols. But their partnership is short-lived since Monochrome wants to go solo. While Wooser rots away, Monochrome grows to become a popular idol. Monochrome then wins some Wooser Academy Award. The entire audience is Wooser and his clones? Monochrome gives her acceptance speech and the first person she thanks is… Maneo! Then she thanks all the characters in her series before mentioning Wooser’s name. But by this time, everyone notices the Wooser clones are slumped dead on their chair! Oh no! Everyone attends Wooser’s funeral thinking he must be having fun in hell with his many selves. Yes indeed. Being tortured while still thinking about uniforms, money and meat!

Episode 6
Wooser is filming a movie scene. Being the heartless director he is, he has the girls do a retake for the umpteenth time for perfection. Hey wait a minute. Wooser working?! Apparently there is a million dollar prize for this movie contest. I know Darth Wooser wanted to tell him about just getting a regular job but you see, Wooser has other plans after winning the prize. He’ll get to be more famous and even lazier. He’ll move on to other TV shows and get all the girls. Yeah… The girls brought in extra help for the movie: A teddy bear named Kirishima? I think this is some mascot from the Arpeggio series. Wooser isn’t impressed with ‘family’ so he tells her to just stand there and be cute. They dabble in 3D before moving on to a submarine set for filming. Wooser has them act the part and will only later dub the voice. Suddenly the entire set is being attacked. Wooser explains he lied and that he actually borrowed a real submarine (from Arpeggio too)! For realism? Hold on tight to your seats! A rain of missiles is coming! In the aftermath, Wooser’s film did win but only for the best effort category. No prize money for this one… This sucks… However Wooser has prepared prizes for audiences who attend his show. Random pictures? Is he trying to say something about the cutthroat and dog-eat-dog competition of show business?

Episode 7
Wooser and the girls are playing a game called Werewolf. Darth Wooser is the judge. In this game, players will draw a card. The one who draws the wolf card is the Werewolf and the rest who draw villager cards will be the ordinary villagers. They need to deduce who the Werewolf is by asking questions and the likes. At the end, there will be a vote to see who the Werewolf is. If the vote is wrong, the game continues. The villagers win when the Werewolf is correctly voted otherwise the Werewolf wins when there are no more villagers left. In the first vote, Miho gets voted out because she talked too much. Isn’t that the point of the game? To make things more interesting, everyone then closes their eyes. Only the Werewolf is allowed to open and select a villager to eat. So when everyone is allowed to open their eyes, Darth Wooser announces Yuu has been eaten. With the field reduced, we hear Wooser’s narration about billionaire CEOs crap that doesn’t really make sense. Because of that, the girls suspect Wooser. To stop the intense staring, he yells out he loves them! They realize it is the same ol’ Wooser. Now they turn on each other! In the final vote, Rin and Len suspect each other. Oh dear. It all comes down to Wooser’s vote. Who will he choose? The girls try to persuade him to get on their side. However he cannot stand to see them this way. In his eyes, neither are Werewolves and just pure innocent girls looking into his filthy eyes. Therefore Wooser admits he is the Werewolf.

Episode 8
Wooser has been kidnapped by a cult. He thinks they are going to transform him into something so he wishes to be transformed into a girl! Yeah, imagine all the pyjamas party he can join in. Meanwhile the girls are talking about deodorant and the secret fact that Rin and Len are magical girls who are supposed to use their powers to help others. And not to copy homework! This has Miho prop up the question if the ever wash their magical girl outfit since they appear and disappear after use. To prove it doesn’t smell, Len transforms. That is when a giant yellow grasshopper attacks the city. Guess who this grasshopper is. So Rin also transforms and the duo as magical girls are called Wooser Twins. So how do you catch a rampaging grasshopper anyway? Not too sure but it is suggested using deodorant. The grasshopper explodes! The tanuki mascot eats and spits it out. Still alive? Another spray of deodorant should do the job. Overkill?

Episode 9
The beach… But guess what? Rows and columns of coffin everywhere! Apparently Wooser and co are inside it. Since it is so freaking hot, they have to flap open and close the coffin for ventilation. Why not just get out of the damn thing? Anyway, they start talking about food and since the heat is going to their heads, they even start eating and drinking imaginary food in which Wooser plays the store owner. I think the girls don’t like his hospitality… Then it descends into a weird argument whereby the girls talk in relaying fashion. Wooser won’t lose out and has his mascot friends do the same but since some of them can’t talk, I don’t know what the heck they’re supposed to say. Eventually Wooser starts dreaming of his handsome self flanked by beautiful cute babes. Oh yeah. Nice dream. Till Darth Wooser had to abruptly wake him up to remind him they are in hell. Oh sh*t!

Episode 10
Wooser is adlibbing the girls about their uniform. Once again he tells us his concept of loving uniforms is different from what we think. Eventually it all boils down to since they will be graduating and won’t be needing them anymore, might as well give it to him! But as Len noted, some do wear them even after graduation. Wooser is again being lazy. Reading some bishoujo manga instead of completing his. And when he is on the computer, he spends more time on Twitter than anything. He thinks of going to a doujin convention. I guess he didn’t get lazy dreaming about it because he actually got his ass up and go there with Rin and Len. Yeah, too crowded. Not too sure about this doujin booth they want to patron but Wooser asks the author who is dressed in some weird tribal warrior getup if he has any uniforms for sale. He has! Wooser wants 3 of them! One for his personal use, the other to save and the last one to share. But since he isn’t going to share, it is all for himself. Then it gets weirder because Wooser and warrior dude engage in some intergalactic sword fight in which Wooser wins. It has Wooser think he wants his followers to call him God and give them his bank account number so they can bank in all their money. Thank goodness nobody does.

Episode 11
The tanuki mascot is found dead! The girls are horrified. Don’t worry. Detective Wooser is here! And so is his assistant Darth Wooser. Wooser is an eager beaver in playing detective and even taunts us to find the criminal which is among them. That owl mascot obviously holding a gun… Wooser quickly deduces the facts of this locked room murder mystery and points out that Rin is the killer! Because there was a dying message written in blood in which Wooser believes the victim was trying to write her name but she tried rubbing it off and only leaving it looking like parentheses. While Rin continues to deny all those made up facts, Wooser explains how she used her hairpin accessory to lock the window she escaped from to make it look like a locked room. Because Miho insists the parentheses contain no name in the first place, that is when Yuu suspects her to be the killer. She has noticed the tanuki has no blood on his hand so he couldn’t have written the message. She believes Miho has killed him and used his blood to write a fake message. Because she observes Miho has been hiding her hand in her pocket all the while. That is when Miho breaks down and admits she didn’t mean to kill him. They were playing cops and robbers and somehow the toy gun was swapped with a real one. So the owl is holding the toy gun? Wooser is stunned because Yuu did his detective job well. Wooser narrates about the ugly truth that made nobody happy. In actual fact, he just sucks being a detective.

Episode 12
What’s this? Wooser has suddenly become enlightened and omnipotent? All after he took a bite out of a rice cracker? If that wasn’t shocking enough, he can actually change the molecule structure of things he touched and even fill an empty glass with water out from thin air! Darth Wooser must be really surprised and baffled. What in the world has just happened? What kind of trickery is this? Wooser’s omnipotent expands by even changing the weather outside and even completely drying Rin when she is caught in it. If that is not all, she can even transport his conscious to Rin and Len simultaneously. His powers grow to affect the world too. Like increasing eel population, end wars, vanishing air pollution and the likes. OMG. The world is now a better place! Darth Wooser continues to be baffled but worried if the world balance will be destroyed at this rate. Wooser continues to expand his omnipotent by becoming one with the universe! The girls find their refrigerator suddenly filled with Wagyuu beef and decide to eat them. Rin is worried they don’t know whom the beef is from but Len says it probably belongs to Wooser so it is no big deal. Wooser continues to be in zen and meditated state. Darth Wooser can only note that in his bid to bring happiness to the world, he cannot enjoy the blessings he created and is equivalent to being in the state of emptiness.

Episode 13
Everyone is playing in the snow except for Wooser who is as usual lazing around thinking if people can be murdered in a snowball fight. Suddenly Len accidentally throws one in his face! It is hard probably it is made out of ice! Oh sh*t! Death by snowball?! They soon find a UFO buried in the snow. Before they know it, 2 tanuki mascots?! Which is the real one? Miho knows because she just kissed the real one. This only makes Wooser mad for getting ahead of him on his show! As he shakes him up real good, suddenly his head falls off! Then it sprouts out spider legs and runs away! Wooser finds it interesting that there are aliens assimilating as humans. The scene changes into a sci-fi background that parodies Blade Runner. Unfortunately for Wooser, he gets brought in by Rin and Len who suspect him of being a fake. He is made to answer a weird question. Tortoise in a desert? He can’t answer because he can’t understand so Len thinks he is a fake as his answer is not Wooser-like! In the next room, Rin questions mecha Wooser. What does he like most? Girls, money and meat. This is the real Wooser! You got to be kidding me. Wooser runs away from the madness and jumps off the cliff. For cliff-hanger effect?

Yellow Fever Rising
Well Wooser, you still didn’t achieve anything in the end but at least you achieved in making me smile at all the silliness. I want to say that Wooser is my great motivation for a useless otaku and dame ningen to sit around and do nothing but at the same time protect the things I love. But I have to remember that I am not a yellow ‘cute’ creature like him. Things aren’t so smooth in reality… At least Wooser still has got his girls, meat and money in the end. Or at least in his dreams. You may thing that being lazy is a bad thing but let us look from this other perspective. It would be better for him to do nothing and laze around all day because if he starts doing something, things might just go wrong! You know, the kind of situations where you try to be helpful but it turns out more harmful than it should? Yeah. Never change, Wooser…

Wooser isn’t entirely bad but his lazy habit isn’t what we should be looking as a role model. Seriously. Despite not doing anything and never gets anything done and only dreams of his desires, it all works out in the end because of the nature of this series that just resets everything by the next episode. So this means even if it doesn’t work out, don’t worry, Wooser will always be Wooser. He’ll still be there. Never change, Wooser… And we have seen him done some good like defending Earth from aliens and even becoming one with the universe so we can all be happy without knowing that Wooser made a great sacrifice without us knowing so we could continue to live happily. Sniff, sniff. Oh Wooser, we never knew. How can we show our gratitude? But then seeing him being lazy, complaining about deadlines, dream about money and pestering girls for their uniforms, I think I’ll save my thanks for another day. I don’t know what this Wooser creature actually is but I am figuring he is most likely taken after a rabbit because of those long ears and especially the hint from his name Wooser which is pronounced as usa (not as in that country) from usagi. The bottom line is, no matter how corrupted and lazy Wooser is, it is hard to hate him. Am I right?

The other characters aren’t that much but you can’t expect anything deep from them considering the nature and the duration of the series. You might be asking yourself why are Rin and Len continue to hang out and live with Wooser when he is such a lazy douchebag for most of the time. What a waste for a couple of cute girls to be living with him! I’m so jealous! Sure, they might be magical girls who are to save the world in secret. But do they need to live with Wooser? Unless he is their mascot… Darth Wooser works as a good servant to Wooser in the sense to always keep this lazy yellow blob in his place. At first I thought he would be something even worse and darker than Wooser considering his name and dark colour but in fact it is probably just to mean the opposite of Wooser’s nature. Therefore this dude has no qualms in beating up his master if it is to knock some sense into him.

Due to the nature of this series, every episode stands alone by itself and is not really related to its previous one. So they can pull a South Park-like ending and then reset it again in the next. We don’t really care since they are mostly funny. So don’t worry if Wooser dies because he’ll definitely be back in the next episode. Otherwise why do you think he has his name on the title of this series? However I prefer the third season’s style in which the entire episode is just a random skit as compared to the first 2 seasons whereby every episode is divided into a few different skits. This is because sometimes the jokes are too fast for me to understand and does not make sense. By at least giving a ‘proper story’ for one episode (although all episode stories are not related to each other), it gives us time and chance to understand what it is going on instead of something funny that would just last a few seconds.

Over the course of the seasons, you will notice characters from other animes making their short cameo appearances especially in the second and third season. It is cool to see them making such crossovers although they do not play any sort of role in that episode’s plot. Sometimes it feels like their appearance is to promote their anime because at the end of the episode, we can see a poster of that anime in the background. For example, Suisei No Gargantia, Rakuen Tsuihou: Expelled From Paradise, Locodol and Aoki Hagane No Arpeggio (there was an entire episode this anime drops in on this series). But the biggest cameo goes to Miss Monochrome and if you have watched both series up to date, you would have connected the dots because there was one time where they cross over to each other’s series.

The art and drawing makes everything look cute so no matter how corrupted our Wooser is, you’ll never see him anywhere near a threat. After all, what can a lazy creature do? Or can he? The character designs and the bright colours especially the animals do remind me of those created by Sanrio (Hello Kitty). Of course sometimes they turn the cute art style into bishoujo style to make everything look pretty. How I wish the girls would look more often like this. But I can’t say the same for Wooser because he looks kinda weird. Skinny yellow Deadpool?! Despite looking like hand drawn anime, the entire anime is actually animated using CGI. After all, this is an ONA series. As this anime is animated by Sanzigen, a studio specialized in using CGI animation, it is another reason why we see cameo Miss Monochrome crossovers since this anime was also animated by them. The end card illustrated by different people is amusing to watch. Some are funny and some are real good. Some episodes that had special guest cameos will have Wooser and co in a parody of that anime, which is cool, really.

Voice casting is rather okay. Mamoru Miyano as Wooser does really fit into his character role as the lazy yellow bunny. Even his voice sounds like he lacks the enthusiasm… Hiroshi Kamiya is also recognizable as Darth Wooser and ironically, this character does not have any lines at all in the first season. There are very limited and few lines in the second season and then all of a sudden in the third season, it is like he became talkative and has enough lines to match the main character. Not to say Darth Wooser is a talkative character but as a character who needs to be Wooser’s voice of reasoning, I guess he is pretty much needed in saying a lot more than he needs to. The rest of the female casts are voiced by unknowns. So much so, this remains their only voice acting role ever. It is a reason why they sound a lot like amateurs but in a cute way so it doesn’t really get to you. Haruka Nagame is Rin, Minori Ozawa as Len and Yuri Sato as Miho. Yuu is voiced by Tia who also sings a couple of themes for this series. But I guess she isn’t all that popular too seeing her only other anime theme song performances are Noragami and Captain Earth.

There are a few popular seiyuus lending their voice to this series although it is only in the third season. We have that squeaky trademark voice of Yukari Tamura as the pink Announcement Wooser. I don’t know what her character role is but I suppose we all need to hear Yukari Tamura’s cutie voice once in a while. Some make their cameo because of the characters they played in other animes making their cameo here like Yui Horie as Monochrome. I believe a couple of animal mascots like the tanuki and owl have no spoken dialogues. That is why I am baffled to find out that Nana Mizuki and Junichi Suwabe are the voice behind their respective characters! Really?! I wouldn’t have guessed.

The opening themes are the same for all seasons. Wooser’s theme is quite a catchy short instrumental with the first season sounding like a video game style and the subsequent seasons adding synthesizer effects. The very amusing theme about the opening credits animation is how Wooser decides to get up and do some workout. This lazy creature doing exercise?! All his efforts pay off because he becomes a buffed superhero! OMG! Wooser with muscles! How hilarious can this get? As for the ending themes, Tia sings Love Me Gimme for the first season. It’s a cute anime pop but doesn’t leave much impression. I guess the best of themes goes to New Order by Mamoru Miyano, the second season’s ending theme. It is a very disco-like theme that will make you want to get up and dance along with Wooser. Chotto Dekakete Kimasu by Tia is the slower theme for the climatic ending for the last episode of the second season. For the third season, it is Lucky Girl by Yun*chi.

Overall, this is a cute, random and fun short series that will have you question if anything can be slide and glided over just because something is cute. Yeah, it happens a lot in reality. A big reminder of the age old adage of never judge a book by its cover and still waters run deep. I was almost influenced by Wooser’s habit by not finishing this blog of mine just to parody this series. But I realized that I wouldn’t be able to protect my animes and waifus that way so I eventually finished it. Though, I am not sure what and how this series has got to do with it. It is a shame that when you think of a cute little yellow blob, Wooser isn’t the first creature to pop up in our minds. A certain Pokemon creature would… Pika! Pika! Or would you… Girls, money and meat, now! Never change, Wooser…