Hold on! This wasn’t in my calculations! I never would have expected Carnival Phantasm to have a special release called Carnival Phantasm HibiChika Special. Apparently this special single episode came out not too long ago, back in January 2013 and as part of the 10th anniversary event celebration for Type-Moon. So what else do we have for this episode? More wacky cross-over fun between Fate/Stay Night and Tsukihime. If you love the randomness of this series, I’m sure you will enjoy this one too.

* Kohaku and Hisui are racing against time and overcoming all obstacles (including a big construction hole in the middle of the mansion’s corridor and fighting Fate/Zero’s Rider’s army) just to report to Akiha that Koha-Ace is about to start.
* They also hired Saber for publicity but apparently her performance fee was bursting the budget.

Introducing Hibiki and Chikagi… And Cellphone…
* Hibiki Hibino and Chikagi Katsuragi are part timers working at Ahnenerbe. Neko Evolution excitedly films them with his camera. By the way, Lancer is also working there as a waiter but Neko Evolution isn’t interested in filming guys.
* We are also introduced to this wise cracking sarcastic handphone called, erm, let’s just call it Cellphone. Due to his unnecessary comments, Chikagi always breaks him into two at the end! I wonder how he gets fixed by the next time. It will be the umpteenth time he will be broken by the time this arc ends…
* Lancer is suddenly killed! Karen throws them several stacks of money and takes Lancer’s body away. However when Cellphone reprimands her about just solving things with money, Karen leaves a few more rows of cash behind. Now Cellphone totally digs all the money he gets his hands on (he doesn’t have hands by the way). Break apart time!
* Hibiki notices the Afterschool Alleyway Alliance trio are their customers. She seems to recognize them and Satsuki is thrilled that they have still fans. However Sion and Riesbyfe pour cold water on that. Hibiki tries to imitate one of their sketches but it turns out to be the wrong one. Miscalculation… Chikagi has a feeling they’ll screw up the moment they get back on their act.
* Shirou and Shiki regret that they were trying to date simultaneously before (refer to Dokidoki Super Date Plan in previous season). They think they should have dated them all separately. They feel that they can redo this again. I guess they can thank the polls for that. More on this later…
* Ahnenerbe goes to the beach to set up business there. Chikagi doesn’t want Hibiki to get distracted having fun since they’re there to work. However she too gets into the flow of the fun and when Cellphone makes his sarcastic comment, he got snapped.
* Afterschool Alleyway Alliance makes its return on screen. Too bad Sion and Riesbyfe don’t seem too enthusiastic about it and true enough they screw up everything. Everything was in her calculations… And they don’t even have time to finish up because the curtains fall on them. I guess that’s it for them. End of the road.

Dokidoki Super Date Plan… The Alternative!
* As narrated, the polls indicated that majority of viewers wanted the ‘Date Everyone’ option and that was featured in the last episode of the previous season. Thus the ‘Date the Main Heroine’ option will be featured for this special.
* Shiki x Arcueid and Shirou x Saber have the fun of their lives and their date ended successfully. The kind whereby we all love to see our heroes end up with their heroines in the end of a dating sim. Despite the happy ending, little did they know that the next 3 days would be hell for them.
* Day 1: Shiki calls Shirou if everything is going well or if the other had run into some sort of trouble. Suddenly the telephone cuts off.
* Day 2: You can tell something is wrong with Sakura the way she cuts the veggies. Shirou is shocked to see worms for his dinner! At class, Shirou meets and talks to Rin normally. Little did he know, his sudden tiredness in class stems from Rin secretly chanting a spell from underneath his chair. On the other hand, Shiki seems to be given curry dishes he did not order from Ciel. He develops phobia of curry and rushes back home. He screams when he sees curry oozing out of the tap. But Kohaku and Hisui dismiss it as his hallucination. When he takes a bath, the lights go out and Akiha’s red hair starts to bind all over him! Saber realizes Shirou is sick. He accidentally tears the wall which reveals heaps of curses.
* Day 3: Shirou and Shiki come clean with Saber and Arcueid. They admit they were five-timing. Or was it six or seven. They just wanted to make everyone happy but Saber reminds them such self centred happiness doesn’t exist. All that is left to do now is for the guys to get on their knees, admit their wrong and beg for forgiveness. Then all the other girls come in and are cool with it. All they wanted was them to admit their mistake. They won’t reproach them anymore so Arcueid and Saber also let this slide. With instructions to fix their faults, redo everything and turn from a pathetic protagonist to a brilliant honest man, the guys become touched with their kindness and begin their second chance at adolescence.
* After day: However, Shiki soon finds himself locked out of his house while Shirou finds worms in his meal. I guess a woman’s grudge runs deep… They’re so sick of dates! What a tragedy!

* We hear Kohaku making some wise cracks about the Type-Moon characters and also lamenting that something wouldn’t have happened if Kinoko had made some remake.
* Rider also makes her appearance and something to do with Saber’s meal costing straining the budget that made them feature Rider to be more complete.
* Speaking of cost, Kohaku adds that she should have offered Red Saber had she known Blue Saber cost more. Anyway, here she is. A ploy to get her animated even though there is not much screen time left.
* Everybody starts running across as the ending credits animation is being played while making wise cracks about the Koha-Ace staff (all positions done by the same person?!). Red Saber also ponders about her debut but that is about how much screen time she’ll get. No spin-off for her too.

Carnage Fantasy… Miscalculated!
So everything was rather fun in its own way. This series didn’t lose its humorous touch after all and broke some fourth walls along the way. Still, there are some jokes that I can’t understand especially about the Koha-Ace and Kinoko ones. I didn’t read up on that so I’m still at a lost. I was wondering who the new characters of Hibiki and Chikagi are. Perhaps they are newly created characters from Type-Moon for one of their games and this special serves as their introduction. Heck, they have a full profile listing when they got introduced to us viewers. They are also newly added into the opening credits animation (the one where they feature the characters of both series in a highly energized dance throughout the duration). If Cellphone upgraded himself into Tablet or iPad, I wonder if Chikagi will snap him as easily as she does right now. Maybe. Such inventions are ubiquitous and you can find one just about anywhere.

The other characters that made their little appearance are pretty decent too. Afterschool Alleyway Alliance are still screwing up right till the end (maybe it’s their signature comedy – it is) and it’s better that the curtains come down early for them. Lancer still gets killed despite making only a single appearance and Karen still solves things with money. Where the heck does she get them? Is her father the bank governor or does she print money? Of course there are some segments that are not featured in this special such as Seihai-kun, White Moon Princess Phantas-Moon and Taiga’s Dojo. The third one obviously not since this is only a single episode so no continuation! Not even a choice! This goes with some of the characters that do not appear too like Ilya.

Of course the biggest feature of this special is still the Dokidoki Super Date Plan but it feels more like a horror genre rather than anything comical. Why not? That’s the problem of having a harem. You thought you could solve things by choosing one (because if you don’t, you will lose everything and hurt everyone if you remain indecisive – at least in harem genres). But you know, girls like them hold a deep grudge if they aren’t chosen and will go to great lengths just to curse you. If it’s not me, then hell you can’t be happy either. My guess is that if Saber and Arcueid aren’t chosen but some other girl, big chance that they will be part of the curse too. So it’s a situation of out of the frying pan and into the fire for these guys. The best option: Don’t date! What happens if there is a third option of going yaoi and dating themselves?! Who knows? Maybe some of the girls would like it. Or Apocalypse may come to Japan sooner than the rest of the world. I know I wouldn’t vote for this route to happen. Ever.

The last time I hoped that there would be a fourth season for this season but alas it wasn’t in anybody’s calculation (yet) but this special is good enough to tickle my bones for the time being. Will they do a new OVA or a new special? Who knows? Anything is possible if they decide to. I know I’ll be waiting for it when that happens. That’s what you call within my calculations. If that ever happens, that is. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. All within my calculations too…

Carnival Phantasm

July 27, 2012

Prior to the start of the much anticipated Fate/Zero sequel, Carnival Phantasm was released back in August 2011 in conjunction to celebrate the Type-Moon game company’s 10th anniversary. The dozen of OVA episodes are mostly wacky and nonsensical stuff coming from mainly the company’s famous franchises of characters such as Fate/Stay Night and Tsukihime. Seeing that I have only watched Fate/Stay Night, there is a chance that I might not understand the deeper meaning to some of the jokes involving the Tsukihime characters. Sure, it may seem funny and comical at first glance but do the characters actually act this way? From my experience with Fate/Stay Night, let’s just say they are turned into comic relief characters, which is basically what the entire show is about. So whether you are familiar with both the series or not, you can expect to laugh out loud at some of the most ridiculous scenarios they are in.

Split into 3 seasons of 4 episodes per season, though each OVA is only 15 minutes short, the episodes are divided into several segments. Some lasting to as short as a minute and others almost the entire duration of the episode. Thus in most episodes, you can see a familiar kind of segment present. For instance, the OVAs are hosted by a bunch of chibi-like cats (supposedly taken after some of the characters in the said series) that work in a café called Ahnenerbe. The quartet include Neko Arc (Ahnenerbe’s owner), Neko Chaos (cigarette smoking cat), Neko Destiny (more reserved and sensible) and Neko Babbles (always violently nodding her head in agreement – that’s her only form of speech). Later they are joined by an otaku cat, Neko Evolution. They also give comments on that particular segment besides introducing to viewers the upcoming segment. Other regular recurring segments include White Moon Princess Phantas-Moon (a magical girl version of Arcueid beating mushroom-like villains with some fancy magic move as this segment is mainly a ‘Next Episode Preview’ – why does Ren always have something in hand at the end of it? What is it for?), Seihai-kun (a somewhat horrible visual representation of the Holy Grail offering its ‘advice’ to those in need), Afterschool Alleyway Alliance (somewhat a stand-up comedy hosted by Satsuki, Sion and Riesbyfe. Quote of the segment by Sion: “That was all within my calculations”. What’s with that pose each time they restart the segment after that quote?) and Taiga’s Dojo which is actually the next episode preview which is hosted by Fujimura and Ilya. I guess this is the only section we’ll get to see Fujimura pulling off her lively and dramatic acts. So are you ready to have fun?

Episode 1
* After that serious introduction to the Holy Grail War, suddenly the rules of the 5th war have changed. Now we have most of the Masters and their Servants participating in a quiz game show. Despite putting on a goody-two-shoes face, Rin actually wants to win it at all cost even if it’s using dirty means. So why have a quiz instead? Don’t want the city to be destroyed again, eh? So we have the contestants fighting it out in games instead. Card games (are warriors suited to play docile games like this), tennis (do you want to play with Berserker?), Black Beard (Lancer got stabbed to death with Gilgamesh’s Noble Phantasm) and a bunch of other ridiculous events. In the end, Shirou finds the Holy Grail and cracks it open only for Neko Arc to pop out. Then all her clones put Shirou into a rocket and blast him off to space. It’s a sign that the Holy Grail is too much for a human to handle?
* Phantas-Moon: We see her defeating some mushroom enemy, narrating the next episode (I have a feeling Akiha will always be the baddie) and in what’s in Ren’s hand? Chikuwa.

Episode 2
* I don’t know why but Neko Chaos wants Neko Arc to shoot beams from her eyes. When she does, Ahnenerbe is destroyed and he finds beams so… Unisex?
* Phantas-Moon: Another mushroom villain defeated. Another next episode narration and this time a konnyaku in Ren’s hand.
* The rocket carrying Shirou crashes onto the sandy beaches. But it’s fanservice segment with mainly the Tsukihime girls in their swimsuits out to play. Shiki is one lucky bastard or is he one poor unfortunate soul with all the girls hanging around him? Arcueid, Ciel and Akiha are already fighting over him. Paradise or hell? Till Kohaku suggests a volleyball competition to enhance their friendship. I guess friendship is more than at stake when the main prize is to spend a night alone with Shiki in a private room. It’s do or die! So we have Arcueid-Ciel-Miyako against Akiha-Sion-Hisui. No matter where they hit the ball, on purpose or not, it always ends up in Ciel’s face. With both sides not backing down and even unleashing powerful techniques (heck, are they playing volleyball anymore?!), they decimated the beach (score line 525 points each?!). They even destroyed Shirou and Neko Arc’s hard work in repairing the rocket.
* Sharing tables: Messed up Shirou shares a table with Shiki to tell him he couldn’t fix the rocket…
* Afterschool Alleyway Alliance: Rants include trying to introduce themselves since they don’t often appear. All Riesbyfe is interested is her laundry and overdue DVD rental. And they think they captured the hearts of the audience… “It’s all within my calculations”…

Episode 3
* Neko Destiny gets emotional and tries to leave Ahnenerbe because she thinks all their faces look the same. But the rest aren’t fazed…
* Arcueid is bored staying at home and waits for Shiki at school, much to his dismay. Much to Ciel’s even bigger dismay. She thinks the school is her territory (probably the only place Arcueid can’t lay her fingers on Shiki – in love triangle sense). Because Arcueid really wants to be with him, next day, she becomes a transfer student in his class. She did the entrance exam and aced it (she’s a vampire so I guess her intelligence is above par than of normal humans). Ciel isn’t thrilled that her sanctuary is now invaded. Worse, Arcueid ‘beats’ her at her own game of telling her to go back where she came from because it’s her territory with Shiki from now on. But Arcueid is finding hard to keep up life as a student. So at the end of the day, she sends in her withdrawal notice. So fast, huh? Just when Ciel thought her peaceful days at school are back, then pops up Arcueid again. If she can’t be a student, she might as well be the groundskeeper at school.
* Shirou finds Fujimura and Ilya sleeping comfortably in the middle of the hallway. Ilya forces him to sleep with her (nothing hentai, mind you) and since he can’t escape her hug, he too falls asleep. Saber spots this and curiously sneaks up close to Shirou but was caught red-handed by Rin. It’s her ploy to get in between Shirou. Ilya didn’t like her taking her spot so she starts biting her head (reminiscence of Index?). Even if they are arguing loudly, Shirou is still asleep. Hey, Fujimura too. While a spell was casted on Shirou, there wasn’t any on Fujimura. She’s just a heavy sleeper…
* Afterschool Alleyway Alliance: Talking about standing out more (Riesbyfe different set of clothing), bad manners from adults and winter. The smoothness is always interrupted by Riesbyfe intention to go home and “It’s always within my calculation”…  They think they really rock this one… Hope so.
* Phantas-Moon: You know what to expect after defeating a spicy mushroom loli, right? Now Ren has a kombu seaweed in hand.

Episode 4
* Rin returns only to hear a recorded voice message from Shirou requesting her to record a show (he’s tied up with his part time job). Because Rin is bad with machines, she isn’t looking forward to it despite the easy instructions on how to do it. Archer spots her in distress but Rin maintains her superiority over him. But does she really know how to record with a Blu-Ray player? Where is the disc? Are these his porn discs? She’s starting to panic. She thought the player is going to explode when she pressed a wrong button. Finally Archer explains how Blu-Ray recorder works. You don’t need a disc as it is recorded in the hard drive inside the player. It is after that you only burn it onto a Blu-Ray disc. Embarrassed Rin hits him away. When Shirou returns to watch it, looks like Rin has recorded the wrong channel. Phantas-Moon anyone?
* Shiki and Shirou are having a big major headache. They have their dates clashed with all the girls. It would be bad if they can’t fulfil them. Shiki comes up with a super date plan timetable to avoid getting killed. Let’s say the periodic timetable is much easier to remember than this complicated diagram. So hectic… Now you know why dates make or break you, right? Even Shirou has come up with his perfect plan and they think it’s flawless. Upon looking at the overall picture, they suddenly feel it’s impossible. Yeah, they’re screwed big time.
* Phantas-Moon: Poison yuri fungus this time? Daikon radish from Ren? Hey, this show has reached its 106th episode… Magical girls are indeed popular…
* Afterschool Alleyway Alliance: On the subject about friends and marriages, the usual suspects again cause the usual ruckus. So are they glad they made it this far? Yeah, they should be breaking up! “It’s all within my calculations”…

Episode 5
* Berserker crashes through Ahnenerbe and leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Neko Chaos thinks it’s manly?
* Sharing Tables: Kuzuki shares a table with Nero. He thinks the latter is an animal lover seeing lots of animals are popping up from his body.
* Ilya’s game pad batteries are out so she has Berserker do errands to buy them. Can he understand and not screw up? Yeah, she was this close in clearing the stage. While he makes his way, one of Ilya’s servants, Leysritt keeps an eye and prevents delinquent Gilgamesh from causing trouble. Before their fight can begin, Gilgamesh is defeated when Berserker’s weapon accidentally crushes him. Leysritt is dragged back by her chief. Berserker meets Lancer and fights him to make that dude to become his dog pet. WTF?! Well, the warehouse got decimated as a result. Dragging Lancer and rushing along, Berserker crushes Rider along the way and loses his ‘dog’. Then he finds the battery store is closed today so he starts hitting the door with his weapon! So furious that the impact slammed Saber away when she comes out of a nearby restaurant. Saber defeated?! I don’t know how but he found Lancer too. Talking out like best buddies, he thinks it’s best for him to go home. Berserker flips the note behind to find Ilya has written an alternative store. Dragging Lancer to the general department store, he jumps 10 floors up and crushes Caster passing by. Defeated! He is about to fight Archer browsing at the section when he tosses Lancer at him. The surprise move defeated Archer and by this point, Lancer is more than defeated. He’s just dead. Still, he drags his body back to the mansion. However Ilya scolds him for buying the wrong thing. He got an electric kettle instead. But popping out of it is Neko Arc. She grants Ilya’s battery wish but it’s the wrong brand…
* Phantas-Moon: Well, this samurai mushroom is immune to her magic attacks. So how? Just punch him in the face! Oh, why is Ren holding the collagen? The series is reaching episode 174…

Episode 6
* Phantas-Moon: What the heck is that meganeko mushroom? What the heck is that mini mixed pot Ren has in her hand? Now Phantas-Moon has a new series called Hardcore? And while the cats of Ahnenerbe are worried of their negative balance, Neko Evolution barges in so that everyone can cheer on his favourite idol Phantas-Moon. How does this help in settling the bill?
* It’s a heartbreaking drama of how Sakura gets beaten up by selfish and heartless brother Shinji while Rider can only watch on in silence. You feel like wanting to kill that bastard for making poor Sakura do all the hard work while he enjoys himself in his warm and cosy room. Rider keeps wondering why she sticks by him through thick and thin. She can’t run away from his violent behaviour but at the same time she feels she can’t get by without her. That’s sisterly love for you. Rider gets back at him by purposely doing accidents on him. Yeah, even almost killing him with her Noble Phantasm. Sakura confronts Rider and knows she has been protecting her. Despite all that, she still wants to continue to be with Shinji because he’s her brother. Rider is willing to make Sakura her master but she refuses (because Rider gets more votes in the popularity polls?). She’ll settle this herself. One night, Shinji tries to rape her so she stabs a dagger into his chest. Not just an ordinary dagger. The kind that makes him sexier? She didn’t like what Rider did as she notes because of Shinji as a loser, he made others look good! True! In the end, Sakura doesn’t blame her brother for everything he has done as she continues to live the life as an ill-fated sister.
*Sharing Tables: Archer sits with Nanako who badmouths about female masters (Ciel and Rin respectively). See the burnt table in the end? Guess we know what happened to them, eh?

Episode 7
* The cats are eating a delicious ramen. They find out Neko Babbles made it and the ingredients are dangerous enough to be mosaic out.
* Shiki explains to Arcueid what okonomiyaki is. She had the wrong idea of an octopus wrapping around a pig? Because Shiki has always cooked for her and she doesn’t want to lose out to Ciel, she decides to make one herself. First, she went diving into the freezing waters for fresh octopus (you must be crazy to see a scantily clad woman in this cold place). To get pork, she assaults Nero to get the pig out of him. Then she burns her ingredients over the pot just like how she imagined it. That’s not okonomiyaki!
* In a love drama that involves Caster and Kuzuki, she always does her best and watches from afar in this on-sided love affair. You can’t tell if Kuzuki is reciprocating her love with his single grim expression. Caster gives him a handmade charm and it soon Kuzuki gets lucky and wins lots of prizes. Even God defeats his enemies without him knowing or lifting a single finger. Caster is watching Saber obsessively through her crystal ball. It seems she is a fanatic fan of Saber and has lots of costumes, photos and figurines on her. Issei didn’t like what he sees and is going to report to Kuzuki. Though she isn’t fazed, she can’t let Kuzuki see this room too. One night while working on a Saber figurine (she’s welding it?!), Issei shows Kuzuki the room. Caught in the act! What is she going to do now? Kuzuki takes out a ring and gives it to her as a present. While Issei is shocked at this unexpected development, it is tears of joy for Caster. He even suggests that they go on a vacation to Hawaii (a prize he won). But Caster cries louder when Kuzuki praises a very good Saber figurine she made. Does this indicate he’s her fan too?

Episode 8
* King of the Wild: We have Saber personified as a male African lion, sleeping, bumming around and eating Lancer as her meal.
* Saber works part time at Ahnenerbe and the cats can’t help bow to her. See how moe she is in a maid outfit? The king of knights! Rin is having a hard time as her customer. Saber is picky on what kind of food she orders as well as its servings. She imposes her ideals on other customers as well but this results in Ahnenerbe recording high sales level as never before. So can she work here every day? Dare they ask the king of something like this?! Saber meets her match in the form of Gilgamesh the customer. She has to hold it in while putting up with his arrogant demands. I mean, he pays well. Look at him throw all his jewels and coins! Saber has the last straw when Gilgamesh wants her as take-out. She snaps and turns into a dark gothic lolita maid and reprimands Gilgamesh for wasting food. Tired and hungry (though she won’t admit it), they give her eat a special stamina replenishing meal. All the customers rejoice at this moe sight. With Gilgamesh now a good boy, Saber wants him to follow her out to town tonight. All the customers instantly become her followers and worship her. Neko Chaos notes how men are corrupted by darkness and Saber learns work = worship. When Saber returns home, she returns to her normal self when she meets Shirou. She gives him a cooking pot as his birthday present (he does the cooking around the house). Nevertheless, he is happy.

Episode 9
* The war for the Holy Grail takes on a different twist now. It’s a Grand Prix Championship! The teams will be randomly given a car. Rin-Archer got a Cadillac, it’s a classic car for Kuzuki-Caster, lucky Lancer gets a dragster, Shinji-Rider a bicycle (hey, she’s a rider after all, get it?), Shirou-Saber a coin operated animal ride (100 Yen to start!) and Ilya-Berserker a transform car. What kind of car is that? Berserker transforms into a mean tank! Berser-Car. Geddit?! As the race starts (why does it feel like Death Race?), Lancer makes a good start leaving his competitors eating his dust trails. However dragsters can’t turn, right? Yup, he crashes out at the first corner. Because Kuzuki-Caster team prefers to go on a honeymoon instead of racing, Caster leaves Assassin as her replacement. Man, he’s coming in driving a huge truck! And he’s hot on the tail of Rin-Archer team. So how did he manage to leave the temple? He brought the temple along!!! That’s why he needs a truck! See him speak to his ‘brother’. Shirou-Saber got knocked out because they are too slow (to go fast, you need to insert more money!). A stray shot from Berser-Car hits Assassin as he falls off the cliff. He jumps down to save his ‘brother’. I guess he’s out, eh? Ilya-Berserker chases after Rin-Archer but Gilgamesh on his sports bike enters the fray. He chains Berser-Car to the road and Ilya makes a blooper by firing and instead blows themselves up. It’s neck to neck between Rin-Archer and Gilgamesh. Oh look, now Rider is peddling to the max. It’s a scary ride for Shinji sitting in the front basket. But no matter how good a rider she is, she is too fast and breaks through the road barrier, flying into the sea. Into the final corner and stretch, a third team is gaining on them: Shirou-Saber. Why? How? Shirou is breaking his bank and inserting coins like mad!!! No more sumptuous meals from now on. Just tea on rice. In a mad dash to the finish line, Shirou uses his Trace On to materialize a sword. That is the difference that makes them the winner. Yeah, just by the skin of their teeth. The prize is of course the Holy Grail and they can wish for anything. So what is their wish? They want their money back…
* Seihai-kun: Shinji complains that Gilgamesh won’t listen to him despite being his master (really?) so Seihai-kun’s solution is throwing him a tool called Friend Maker. It’s a knife… Go show him who’s boss!

Episode 10
* Ahnenerbe is swamped with kids. They’re playing with the cats like toys but only Neko Destiny seems to take a liking for them.
* Akiha waits patiently for Shiki to wake up despite running the risk of being late to school. Kohaku gives her tea to drink while she waits. By the time Shiki rushes down, he is puzzled Akiha is not mad. Instead, she has reverted to a 4 year old! Yeah, the drug in Kohaku’s tea made her more than just being honest with her feelings. It’s going to be troublesome seeing she is acting like a kid who doesn’t want to leave Shiki’s side. And he thought of leaving it to Kohaku to handle it, eh? No such luck. In class, everyone is envious but Shiki covers this up that due to his negligence, her emotions are unstable and she reverts to a child-like state. I guess this fires up the guys even more, eh? They are in danger of going out of control! Lolicon! Shiki can’t even have piss, oops I mean peace (no pun intended) because Akiha even wants to follow him to toilet. I don’t know how, but he takes a leak with her next to him. Now it’s her turn but she wants him to accompany her. Satsuki was passing by so Shiki assigns her to escort Akiha. Satsuki is forced to undress and wipe her (all visuals and sounds are purposely censored out) in the cubicle. I guess Shiki owes her big time. Shiki carries sleeping Akiha on his back on his way home. Unknown to him, the drug effect has worn off and she is now conscious. He notes how she grew up before his eyes, became prettier and steadier than him and is glad he left the Arima family. Then he said something uncalled for. There is one part of hers that hasn’t grown. Feel the full rage of Akiha now!!! Just when she thought she had a better view of him, then this. So people, make sure you think before you say and especially to whom you say. That’s why silence is sometimes golden. Oh, Kohaku has made Hisui drink the tea and it’s like with have a clone of Kohaku now…
* Brainwash Detective Hisui: Kohaku writes up ridiculous detective stories with supernatural elements with intentions to enter it as a competition. Ridiculous scenarios, ridiculous revelations but eventually Hisui herself liking it. Huh?
* Seihai-kun: Shirou complains that Archer told him he will never be a hero. No problem. Here is the Hero Creation Kit to solve your woes. It’s a knife… He’ll be a hero after killing a million people…

Episode 11
An entire episode dedicated to Lancer? Well, if you have been noticing how Lancer has been conveniently dying in all the skits, it turns out to be some horrible premonition dream. Feeling weird from those dreams, Seihai-kun appears and offers his assistance to save him. However he shrugs it off and doesn’t need any warnings from that ugly mascot. Seihai-kun warns him those deaths will come true and he will be really killed if he is not careful. By who? By the story. Is he screwing around? Don’t think so because the iron pillar almost fell on him! Watch out for tomorrow’s race… So during the Grand Prix, death is racing through Lancer’s mind before the start. When it’s green light, his dragster can’t turn. The brakes aren’t working too. But he isn’t going to die easily as he sticks his lance into the tracks. Though he crashes at the first turn, he comes out alive. So for over the next few scenes that Lancer should’ve died, we see him overcoming them all with his improvisation. I guess he remembers those dreams well. Final Destination anyone? Seihai-kun is impressed he knows how to break free from his cursed destiny cycle and mentions he will overcome every last death in the story. Then during the quiz show whereby he is supposed to be impaled by Gilgamesh’s swords, though he gets stabbed with some, he manages to break free from his shackle and vows to win the Holy Grail. So in that scene whereby Shirou is taken into the rocket, Lancer manages to make it in time to ride that thing. After it crashes onto the beach, Lancer relaxes and thinks he has bested his destiny of death and should live here in peace. He falls asleep but is awakened by the noisy sounds of repairs. Then he realized it isn’t over yet. The beach volleyball slams through the rocket and right into his face, cracking every bone in it! Dead for real? Seihai-kun appears before him and creepily reminds the dead Lancer that death is always close by and that he has to overcome every last death in the story. Maybe he didn’t see that one coming, eh? But it ends in a cliff-hanger about Lancer’s fate. We see his hand busting out from the makeshift sand grave he is buried underneath in.

Episode 12
* Seihai-kun: Kotomine complains about Lancer who is always dying and wants a better Servant. Seihai-kun throws him a Servant Strengthening Device. Well, it’s actually a knife. Just kill him and forge a new contract with another Servant!
* Dokidoki Super Date Plan: Remember that messy chart Shirou and Shiki came up to date all the girls? Yeah, they’re so screwed. They’re going to follow with the plan anyway. But Shiki starts off on a failing note. Yeah, he overslept. Meanwhile Shirou is eating breakfast with the rest and is confident he can get through this. Shiki finds himself in Kohaku’s experimental tube and she is going to send him to explore the edge of the universe! Kohaku thought her teleportation device worked when Shiki actually cut a hole in the ground. So we see the hectic date plan in action as the guys rush back and forth between places and giving excuses to the current girl they are with so they can rush to the next scene. Several close calls of the girls bumping into each other. I guess this is true when you say a man can’t be at two, or in this case, several places at one time. Shirou has his hands full dating Sakura and Rin at the cinema respectively as well as accompanying Saber at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Shiki is running about to be with Arcueid at the movies, Ciel at the curry restaurant and Hisui fixing her roof (giving excuses he forgot to buy a certain tool even though she got them. Yeah, need a bigger one!). Must be one tiring day to keep up with it all, eh? Just when Shirou thought he can make it, suddenly Ilya pops up. She is upset he promised to take her to the amusement park. Then it hit him he forgot all about her. It gets complicated when Rin, Sakura and Saber all converge together. Big sh*t, dude. At the same time, Shiki also remembers he totally forgot about Akiha! So screw the big plan because the only thing left is to gather all the girls at the park and figure out something. Hope so. And what do you get when you have all the girls congregating at the park? Two boys sweating profusely seeking to quell the suspicions of the ladies. I guess they didn’t believe their lame excuse of a surprise wanting to have fun with all of them together and to make everyone happy. Suddenly Sion appears and reminds Shiki about their date today. Probably that guy already broke down so he admits he totally forgot. Arcueid transforms into her True Ancestor vampire form while Saber unleashes her Excalibur. Now sh*t is going to hit the fan! You know what they say about women and hell’s fury? Yeah, that sentence. Hey. Shouldn’t all the girls be beating them up instead of these two? I suppose this big explosion was why Fuyuki City was destroyed and not the previous Holy Grail war. It’s amazing they survived that… Oh, what did I learn of this multiple dating? You’re screwed either way…
* Taiga’s Dojo: Fujimura is in denial that this series has ended and tries her (futile) best to keep the show going. “It’s just the beginning!”. Desperate calls for another season aren’t going to change anything you know… Season four, please! I want a season four, damn it! And yeah, the cats of Ahnenerbe hold a farewell party to close this series. Once everything is over, the telephone rings and the person on the line is Ayaka Sajou. Who? Supposedly as I found out, the protagonist of the unfinished original Fate/Stay Night novel. Hey! Isn’t that Kana Hanazawa’s voice?

EX Special
* Prologue: When Shiki was young, she met a mysterious lady, Aoko. Well she stepped on him right on his face! He called her master and each time he hugged her, she would start to breathe heavily. She also gives him wear strange mask spectacles, in which he thought he could surprise Akiha. Huh?
* Michael Roa Valdamjong shares a table with Nero as he pours out his woes to him. Maybe he had drank too much…
* Radical Karen-chan: Karen shows Lancer and another girl (don’t know who she is) a stack of banknotes she got doing some illegal job of separating male and female chicks. She wants to give it to them as reward but they refuse. Karen slaps Lancer with the notes and gets this excited feeling in her heart and wants to do it again! Behold the power of money! After she donated the money to Shirou and his girls, she observes how chaos ensued with the family balance altered. Yeah, everyone is fighting over it. Then she gets this evil idea and concludes the world runs on money. The larger the amount, the lower the humans will sink lower. While walking around town, they are surprised to see Bazett handing out tissues as her part time job. Learning the church hired her to do a lot and yet paid her so little, she flaunts her money to coax her into becoming her Servant. But seeing how Lancer and Bazett are chatting casually, Karen shuts him up by inserting the stack on banknotes in his mouth.
* Super United Cats Squadron: More like seeing 5 clones of Ren in a tokusatsu-like spoof. We see her in different outfits and versions while Shiki provides the tsukkomi.
* Phantas-Moon The Movie: Our heroine encounters a trauma monster. I guess it has something to do with the pent up feelings of the heart. Her magic didn’t work till the appearance of another heroine, Kaleido Ruby (Rin?). Yeah, Phantas-Moon is relieved she isn’t the only weirdo in town. But she lost motivation when she learns this monster is from Ruby’s world and she rather have Ruby clean up her own mess. Eventually she forces her into combining their powers to transform into a giant Neko. In a big punch, the monster is defeated and the girl trapped within it is set free. She realizes her mistake and that everybody loves her. But in the end, the entire city gets destroyed and Ruby makes a move (somehow she let the monster get away). So the tragedy was caused by changing the game material?
* Short skits: How do you spell and pronounce Nero’s real name? Nrnvqsr. Quite a mouthful to say, eh? It’s a hassle while filling up forms; Shiki thought he heard a dog howling in the middle of the night. Turns out to be Kohaku and Hisui playing a retro video game and Hisui thought she needed to howl into the control for some effect.
* Lunar Eclipse: After a long time and when Shiki has grown up, he finally meets his master again. She stepped on his face again! Yeah, it’s that familiar step alright. Aoko still has not change because she’s still nose bleeding at the sight of him. When Shiki thanks her and feels glad to have met her, she is happy that her plan of raising a child to become her ideal spouse was successful and hugs him. Shiki notes she may be the sixth heroine and things would get messy if she appears in fandisks and fighting games.

Ilya Castle Special
In a retro RPG-like video game, we see the Masters, Shirou, Rin and Sakura along with Servants, Saber, Archer, Rider, Caster and Lancer under the guidance of Fujimura plan to put an end to Ilya’s rebellion by invading her castle. So we have the players facing obstacle stages like the first one jumping on rocks. I don’t know what’s going on but Saber is more interested in getting all those food power ups laced across the stage. Are they supposed to cooperate or fight each other? Anyway Saber was this close to the goal before plunging to her watery grave and ends up in second place. Hear how Shirou screamed “SABEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!). Because she lost, she gets no lunch. Dang. The next stage is some mushroom ride. I don’t know how this stage works. They are supposed to ride a mushroom from one platform to another and when they land on that platform, they must eat as much food they can. The final dash is climbing up a hill slope and just when Saber is inches away from the summit, she slides down to her death, earning her third place overall. SABEEEEEEER!!!! No lunch for her too. The next stage sees the gang fighting through adversaries like Assassin and Gilgamesh while making their way into Ilya’s castle. So the final stage is set with everyone against tantrum-throwing Ilya in her Berser-Car. With Saber unleashing her Noble Phantasm early and several times, we hear Ilya whining and complaining about adults and society, bla, bla, bla. Everybody should just die! They try to convince her she’s not a doll as she thought but a human. However she’s not convinced. I don’t know how the talk got deviated into lolicons. In the end, Saber and Lancer are the only ones left standing. Surprise, surprise. Even Lancer couldn’t believe he is still alive. Though they defeat Ilya, it’s not over yet. She presses a self destruct button and will take everyone with her. The castle starts crumbling as everyone makes a mad dash to save their skin. Oh well, I guess Lancer died in the midst… The survivors made it out before the castle collapses for good and the narration about the aftermath in which there were no records of this incident, either being tampered or what, the truth remains shrouded in darkness…

As I read, this is Fate/Stay Night’s author’s original version of the series that was never completed. Ayaka was the main heroine Master with a male Saber as her Servant. This condense and digest version that lasts only 12 minutes feels like a movie trailer. We see Saber battling out Archer in the subway over Ayaka’s limited life; Ayaka visiting her father and older sister’s grave on their first death anniversary while narrating the bad personality she has such as being gloomy, coward and narrow-minded. I’m not sure why she was trying to chop off a pigeon’s head but eventually couldn’t do it herself; She is visited by Faan Sankureido who wonders why she hasn’t made any preparations for the battle since midnight tonight will signal that 8 years have passed. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Holy Grail but he tells her she has nowhere to run; Ayaka gets ambushed by Lancer in her home and when he stabs her, a bright light emits from within her when she calls out her father. She has summoned Saber as he mighty swing of his sword breaks his lance; A montage of messy fights, gloomy drama and evil madness; Saber talking to Aika about the Grail, though ironically made to collect miracles with no observable form, the wishes of people, it won’t activate till it has collected enough of those wishes. As the Grail is a conceived human thought, it is tragic as many people harbour greed and evil intentions. Thus the Grail is corrupted from the start; A super power battle in the night city with Saber and Archer that has the former unleashing his Excalibur move; Fanatical Aika believes in Saber that he would come back one day because she loves this prince of hers.

Carnage Fantasy… It Was All Within My Calculations…
I guess everything was pretty much fun. The wacky and spontaneous antics using the characters from Fate/Stay Night and Tsukihime can make anime viewers who aren’t fans or familiar with these shows to even laugh. For I could not say for Tsukihime (because I have not watch it yet), some of the characters from Fate/Stay Night has been depicted as somewhat a different role as they are in the original series. The most obvious one would be Lancer. He has turned into somewhat a clown or joker in this series. Somebody whose role is to die in almost every skit he appears in. If not, get bludgeoned or beaten to a pulp. Someone whose character is destined to be killed off for the sake of comedy. Well, I guess you can’t complain since he gets more screen time here than in the TV series. As for Saber, she lacks the dominating and commanding presence that I was familiar with. Though Saber is a glutton, but this aspect of her character has been magnified in here. Food is only her mind. Food is the only thing she thinks of. Eat, eat and eat. Well, can’t fight on a hungry stomach, eh? Caster was portrayed as a woman in love but it was a surprise that she has obsession for Saber too. Rin was like a scheming lady and would do any underhanded tactics to get what she wants. I don’t remember the reason why Assassin had to guard the temple and because of this fact, his presence is very much lacking in this series. I guess of all the Fate/Stay Night characters, I would say he is the one who made the least appearance.

Initially I thought that some of the skits would go on in almost every episode like Phantas-Moon and Afterschool Alleyway Alliance. But I guess people would get bored if you show the same thing over and over again in every episode despite each content is different though it maintains certain repetitious elements. Except for Fujimura’s segment in the next episode preview which is definitely at the end of every episode. It’s fun seeing her ranting about and acting so lively. I wonder what will happen if you click ‘no’ before this segment starts. I guess we don’t have a choice, do we? Ah, it happened once and they blame it on running out of budget. Is there are third choice, say, ‘maybe’? Maybe not because perhaps all that was within their calculations. Haha! Too bad we don’t get to hear more of that overly used line ever since the Afterschool Alleyway Alliance got discontinued.

Overall there is nothing more that I can say about this series. It’s just a mix about just about everything and anything that goes. Aside the comedy, we’ve got fanservice (that beach volleyball game), romance (that Caster and Kuzuki’s case), drama (that Sakura and Shinji’s scene), action (that hilarious race) and the harem factor (that doomed super date plan). The opening theme is quite a big lively affair with a mix of anime singers coming together to sing this song. Super Affection has Minami Kuribayashi, Miyuki Hashimoto, Faylan, Aki Misato, Rino and Yozuca banding together in this hyped up anime pop. What is more amusing is that we see the characters from Fate/Stay Night and Tsukihime doing a vigorous dance in the opening credits. How odd can it be to see the characters dancing together? It can be as worthy as Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu’s Hare Hare Yukai if you learn the moves. I did try for a little while but I gave up because I ran out of steam… Uh huh. I feel you need to move quite a bit, like swinging your arms and hips in an energetic way. The ending theme by Masaki Endoh, Fellows is a likeable pop rock. I don’t understand the implications of the characters from both series as seen in its ending credits animation trying to pass on to the next person, whether it’s just a normal tap on the shoulder or touch of the palm. Be careful if you’re the next person receiving it from a ‘scary’ one like Nero and Berserker. Hmm… Since Saber is the final character at the end of the line (more so because the song is ending), I wonder who is the next person Saber is reaching her hand to. Did I miss out on any character?

Even though this series was enjoyable, it did not make me rush out to go buy all the games under Type-Moon and play them. I guess this Fate series has been quite a successful franchise that it spawned quite a few sequels itself. Not that I am interested to play them anyway. But it did make me interested to want to have a look at the prequel Fate/Zero and perhaps maybe Tsukihime in the near future. And if they make more sequels out of this, I would surely want to watch more of the gags. Just hope that I won’t die laughing at every scene. Don’t worry, that was all within my calculations too. Season four onegai! Hope this is within their calculations.

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