Ishuzoku Reviewers

May 24, 2020

SEX!

Got your attention there, didn’t I? Ah yes. Nothing grabs attention and turn heads like sex does. Feeling horny but don’t want to cross the line by watching real porn? Then how about watching an anime that reviews about sex? Wait. What?! Is there such a thing?! As you would have guessed from the name, Ishuzoku Reviewers although is basically a prostitution reviewing anime, it is no sex with the same homo sapiens that we are talking about. Uh huh. Have you ever wanted to know what it is like having to f*ck a monster girl? Or what is like to have sex with a werewolf? Don’t worry, you horny perverts. There are a few brave men out there who are willing to go the distance and f*ck all those different species. After all that is climaxed and done, they’ll give and write their honest opinions and reviews of the intercourse that has taken place. So that we can make a better judgment for ourselves if we really want to go f*ck and get the best pleasure out of this certain species. Oh yeah. Think with your other head! Get ready those pens and notes, here cums the sexy evaluations!

Episode 1
With a city like a melting with so many species, there is bound to be a red light district. Stunk (human) just f*cked an elf and loves it. However his partner, Zel (elf) doesn’t really quite like it because that elf babe is over 500 years old! So what?! She still looks hot! But Zel loves this 50 year old grandma human, Mitsue. So anybody below 100 years old is his taste? So both argue about their weird tastes in women and to settle this, they ask Kanchal (hafling) and Brooz (beastman) to also give their opinions as they frequent the brothels too. Basically, only Stunk is the one who reviewed the elf babe with high marks. One day while out adventuring, they save an angel from a monster. The angel, Crim has a request to help be her bodyguard until her halo heals up so she can return to heaven. Sure. But in return they want to know if there are brothels in heaven! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! F*ck shops in heaven???!!! Stunk and Zel’s life mission is to f*ck every species there is!!! Oh yeah. I guess some of us can only dream of this. But wait. Crim is actually a boy???!!! In actual fact he has both male and female genitals. He can’t say for who knows what they’ll do to him. And because they find out Crim is a virgin, they take him to a brothel to celebrate! OMFG! Angel boy got defiled by a cat girl!!! OMG!!! Is he now considered a fallen angel?! In the bar where Stunk and Zel frequent (and now Crim works at), they post sex reviews too. There is one review from Kanchal whereby he didn’t like the sex with this octopus girl. Yup, he got more than just tentacle raped. Meidri the barmaid isn’t too amused that Stunk and Zel are earning big money just by posting such reviews. Stunk this he can ‘review’ her but gets beaten up. For a fortnight, the trio are gone just to review some harpy babe. When they come back, they have very high ratings for her. Best sex ever! Maybe except Narugami who is a Lamia. I guess birds and snakes don’t mix. Meidri isn’t all too amused at all because she is a harpy. What does this say about her? Stunk tries to get cheeky on her but she slams the barstool on him.

Episode 2
We’re discussing if dick size matters. Then thinking on which species to f*ck next, they notice the next table are tiny fairies. Heh. Heading to the fairy brothel, it’s not what they expect. Yeah, the fairy boss looks more like some gangster. They have to pay upfront a very expensive fee first before having their dicks measured. Hey, fairies are small you know. Stunk who has the biggest dick, unfortunately not all fairies can handle it and only 2 of them. Fat ugly fairy b*tches?! I guess in this case, size isn’t all that matters. Zel’s moderate size has him choose from half the field while Kanchal can get any fairies. Unfortunately, no fairies can handle Crim. OMG. In the end, all put up satisfying reviews except for Crim who felt scammed. This makes everybody wonder how big this angel boy’s junk is! Oh sh*t. With the elections around the corner, currently the Orc Party is the ruling party as it offers the right balance of eat, sleep and fornicate. Stunk and Zel might want to vote for the Succubus Party since all their agenda is f*ck, f*ck and f*ck! After a speech by the Demon Party, Stunk and co are approached by Demon Two (Piccolo?!), the PR for the Demon Party. Because demons are voted as the second most least marriageable species (the undead tops the list), he has read their reviews and noticed that because of that, some species’ popularity has skyrocketed. He hopes their review can also pull up the image of demons. But Demon Two can’t do it himself since this will be seen as election violation of granting favours. So he gives them a name card to a demon’s brothel and hopes they will vote for the Demon Party. So our Ishuzoku Reviewers head to this brothel with a lot of scepticism in mind (except for Crim who naturally wants to stay out). But once they see those huge tits that can only exist in hentai, you bet they’re in. Hence they write decent reviews. So they’re mostly cow girls squirting lots of milk when excited? Stunk and Zel discuss about how the gravity of such huge tits make them gravitate to it. Stunk tries to be funny with Meidri’s tits so she uses the gravity to slam her tray on his head. Science wins. Planet gravity > tits gravity.

Episode 3
Gender swap! After hearing about empathy, our guys decide to test out what it’s like to be a woman. Drinking a gender swap potion, their dicks disappear and their tits enlarge. You bet they’re going to spend some time playing with themselves and exploring their new body parts. As they have to wait till they return to their original self, they think of doing some lesbian stuffs. It is also a way to get a girl to teach them plenty of ways of womanhood. As they look through the catalogue, Crim seems to be ‘interested’ with the male one. You mean this male succubus thingy? The rest explain some gay stuff to him but whatever. Rainbow boys? End boys? Rain-end-boys? Huh? In the end, they suspect Crim might be into that sort of stuff… Each of them pick a girl to get lesbian with. Stunk of course picks a hot elf girl but the rest aren’t so pleased. She’s over 300 years old, you know… But the foreplay is giving him weird sensations that he didn’t like. Meh reviews. Kanchal goes for the same hafling species thinking the same species would know the ropes. Unfortunately, she is a dominatrix and using some sex toy to penetrate him. Ouch. Not a good review. Zel goes for a slime girl. Supposedly to be the easiest for first timers and can reach deep. Yup, the best time of his life. High scores. Finally, Crim went with a hyena girl. Supposedly the toughest and only reserved for more experienced patrons, this makes the rest wonder if Crim picked her because hyena types are said to have the biggest dick. In the end, Crim felt so good that she gave almost perfect scores. This only reinforces the others’ thought that he might be into gay stuffs!

Episode 4
OMFG! Too much sex has killed Stunk, Zel and Brooz! A week later… Everybody is talking about their legendary heroics. Even Meidri feels sad… The end of Ishuzoku Reviewers!!! Just kidding. We go back in time to find out what happened. The gang stumbled upon a very cheap succubus prostitution shop. Thinking it is a scam, what better way to go try it out themselves. Of course their cheap price comes from their bad attitude and they’re all really nymphos just wanting to f*ck! After being told that they must see it through and no help will be given halfway, our brave men step into the den and get ready for some f*cking. Let’s do this… Of course as expected, we see all the succubus swarm over them and they could be dead had not a huge group of orcs arrive for some revenge f*cking. Yeah, you’re supposed to do this in a large group. Hence the succubus throw them those losers out and go for those pigs. Safe to say, their review of it all is definitely no good. It took 3 weeks for them to recover. Rest up. One day, Crim accompanies Stunk and Zel to mine some fire gems. After that, they go eat some meat. Of course there is a catch. They grill their meat using the body of a salamander succubus. Is this what you call sexy meat? Yeah, time for lots of dirty sexual innuendoes as the guys barbeque their meet in certain places and making her look so erotic. But she wants to continue and take it to the other room. If you know what she means! She’ll even give them half price! Don’t leave her hanging! Of course the guys don’t want to get burnt to death. However it seems only Crim can withstand her heat and so they make out. In the end, Crim has a wonderful experience and gives the maximum score. So she tastes like BBQ all over?

Episode 5
Meidri is approached by a hooded person to hand over a request to Stunk and co. It seems the request is to go f*ck cyclop girls and there is already payment made in advance. Alright. Time to go get some f*cking done. Meidri doesn’t want Crim to force himself if he doesn’t want to go but that angel boy has become part of the horny gang so he gives an excuse that he needs a break. The bar patrons applaud?! At the cyclops’ den, the guys want the biggest bust and the receptionist of course has a selection of wide ranges. Wow. I didn’t know there is a K-cup but after seeing this series, Z-cup and beyond could be even possible. So while our guys can’t wait to f*ck those with big tits, they realize that when the receptionist said big, he meant their eyes. Oh damn. So freaky… Yeah, Kanchal got the one with the biggest eyes. Freaky, dude… Stunk and Zel hope for normal sized ones and they’re in luck. These cyclop girls actually have normal sized eyes but they also have the biggest boobs! Just because of their small eyes, their self-confidence takes a hit. In the end, all review high marks except for Kanchal who just rated it below average. Yeah, can’t get over those freakishly huge eyes… After putting up the review, they wonder who the employer was. Turns out to be a cyclop girl who has small eyes. Because of their truthful reviews, she has now gotten the courage to confess to a human she loves. I don’t know if f*cking too much means the guys now want to f*ck men?! So why are they talking about wanting to ‘eat’ mushrooms?! Oh, you mean f*ck a mushroom or fungi woman. Having a fairy, Lulou to guide them deep into the forest, the receptionist is an experienced one. Aside from the sex puns, she can gauge and tell the kind of woman they prefer and prepare the right mushroom girl for them to f*ck. However when it comes to Crim, she is stumped because she cannot determine angels’ preferences. Anyway, she manages to provide one that is right for him. In the end, all rate highly their experience. Best mushroom experience ever without even going into any sort of hallucination effect!

Episode 6
Wow. They’ve been f*cking everything and now they’re thinking on what to f*ck next?! Meidri suggests f*cking the next species that comes in. Of course this is a joke but the guys take it seriously. And the next species? A golem! Yeah, they’re going to a golem brothel. Is that even a thing? They’re not really too enthusiastic about it until the receptionist tells them they can actually make their own girl. So basically, build-a-slut, huh? Yup, they’ve got everything you need. Though you can use one that a previous client made for a cheaper price, it defeats the purpose of coming here to make your dream slut. Kanchal has this great idea as he makes a golem version of Meidri. Stunk and Zel also want one and Crim after thinking about it, also wants one. In the end, all of them rate very high and Kanchal giving the maximum score. But when Meidri finds out… Oh boy, the bar is closed for a beat down of those perverts! Keep those combos coming, lady! Hope they learnt their lesson… With denizens of darkness at the bar, it is sucking the vitality out of Crim. Hence his pals suggest taking him to somewhere with light on his next day off. And that of course means a brothel. So they are going to f*ck light creatures? WTF are light creatures?! Oh. Will o’ wisps. So I see the light conveniently covers their erotic parts. No matter what angle you look, you can’t see them. Oh my, Crim’s dick is one huge pillar of light!!!!! In the end, they review it with just average score. Because sex takes place in the public hall as customers can go in and out freely, making all the sexual activity public. Something about if done in the room, it’ll be too bright to see anything. Only Crim rates it as zero! Because he was so embarrassed the whole time and his angel eyes could see everything clearly. So unless you’re an exhibitionist and into orgies, this niche f*cking is your cup of tea!

Episode 7
Something is wrong with Meidri as she excuses herself. Stunk and Zel believe it is that time. Time for her to lay an egg! They are curious to see how it is done but the last time she beat them up. Don’t worry. There is an egg laying show for all you perverts who love to see girls laying their eggs! Not kidding! It does exist! So they head there and wait for those ladies to answer the call of nature. It seems a lot of Lamia and mermen are interested in this since they get to eat the egg after it is laid. Also, chefs and gourmets are willing to pay a high price for the egg just to cook and eat it. So the first female is up… A lizard woman? Ugh. While everybody else cheers, Stunk, Zel and Crim are cringing at this disgust. Even more so when the next one is a crocodile lady. They want to leave but it seems the next girl is of a penguin species. A bit cuter but still that doesn’t discount the fact that laying eggs now look like something gross. In the end, the trio rate the show with low scores. You mean it’s not zero? Only Narugami rates highly because he loves eating those eggs. Meidri also popped a few herself but is quite disgusted that those guys went to such a show. And as you could expect, she beats them up when they tease her now they know how it is done! But these guys didn’t learn their lesson as they feel hungry and want to go make omelettes from Meidri’s eggs. WTF is wrong with you guys?! Meidri beat down part 2! Wow. No sex this episode but it was surely a weird ‘eye opening’ fetish.

Episode 8
Oh sh*t. WTF is this girl raping scene by the KKK???!!! Turns out that this entire place is some roleplaying fantasy brothel where the babes act out to their roles given. Some of them are good and some of them aren’t. So if you’re like Kanchal who demands perfection all the way in the act, he’s going to be a tough customer. I guess it is no more an act when the girls see Crim’s ‘tower to heaven’! Yeah, they want to get raped by that! In the end, they rate averagely high scores for this idea. Stunk, Zel and Brooz contemplate on a mission that will have them be away for a week but the reward pays very high. Of course they’re going to do it but they have to make ‘preparations’ for such a long journey. Yup. A trip to the brothel. This time a real succubus brothel. The succubi here are able to provide you with all your whims and fancies down to the smallest detail. Then we get to see Crim take the ‘spotlight’. Turning Crim into an angel mayonnaise bottle, we see the succubus playing, licking and sucking it real dry. Must be delicious. In the end, our horny f*ckers rate the succubus sex with high marks. If they always provide the best service then why don’t they come here often? You see, despite being able to provide everything, the succubi will drain your life force and pleasure will start to become strain. Then it will take about a week before you get your usual libido back. No f*cking for a week, huh? I guess they can really concentrate on the mission then.

Episode 9
Hmm… No sex reviews for a week, huh? Yeah, Stunk and co have gone on that faraway special mission. It’s getting too quiet at the bar… So we see the special quest that they are doing is just delivering a casket for this vampire dude, Count Delivel. His castle is so far out so as he could sleep longer. So to thank them for their work, he takes them to the nearest brothel. I guess nobody visits this one not only it is so far away but because they’re all undead! So they’re f*cking zombies this time, huh? So while our Ishuzoku Reviewers give just average score because of the rotting stench during sex (the undead is one of the most unpopular species to f*ck with), only Delivel gives high marks because he f*cked his loyal vampire mistress. Crim has gotten into this f*cking groove too because despite not being on this mission, he went to a brothel himself. This time some slime lotion brothel. I don’t know. Some witch putting magic slime lotion on you and you get orgasm from the tentacle slime rape? Well, Crim rates it very highly so it must be good if you can make an angel feel like that. Thanks to all their f*cking reviews, there a spawns of copycats. Stunk and Zel don’t like their idea being copied but do they have grounds to sue? But they still enjoy reading those reviews. One of them includes a female director who was reviewing and filming lesbian porn. Yeah, I think she climaxed too while filming the juicy yuri shoot. Then they read a review that has a brothel ranked the full perfect score by the reviewers. Unfortunately it is located in the faraway magic city. Don’t worry. Kanchal has prepared their ride there and with their extra money from Delivel’s mission, I’m sure they don’t want to miss this one out. They invite Crim to come along and you can see his eyes lit up. He’s so happy to join them. Meanwhile Meidri realizes she lost a pair of helping hands at the bar. F*ck those perverts!!!

Episode 10
Arriving at the magic city, after paying a hefty upfront fee, it seems everyone gets to do whatever they want with this decoy doll which is a very perfect clone of a mage named Demia, for 3 days. Of course that means only behind closed doors because there was a time when everyone started f*cking her in public, yeah the sight wasn’t pleasant and thus open space f*cking was banned. We see a very shy Crim being serviced real good by the doll. Great bath time moments. Then there is Stunk having a really good time with his but cannot decide whether to give it perfect marks or not. Next morning, she even cooks breakfast for him but he prefers to eat her out, if you know what I mean! So we also see the rest enjoying theirs according to their fetish. Crim relates how she is waiting for his halo to regenerate before he can return to heaven. No need to wait so long. Because she will take him there now!!! We see Demia gladly having angel juice. I guess semen is only for humans… Anyway, she is using it to test it on various elements and hopes she can make a killing out of this research. Though, she would love to get her hands on his halo but luckily it is against company policy to take something from the customers. After 3 days, the dolls say their goodbye and disappear. Our reviewers feel sad to part with them. Yeah, it was definitely a good time to the last drop. Hence all of them give the maximum perfect score! In addition to that, they have the Centaur ladies deliver their reviews to every nook and corner of the land! Wow. Everybody now wants to come here and f*ck! This place is really heaven on earth! Only except Meidri. She’s working like mad nonstop at the bar and it’s hell for her.

Episode 11
By the time our reviewers come back, Meidri is relieved because there is this hot looking succubus guy who has business with them. So apparently he went to all those places that they rated lowly and f*cked those girls again! He thinks they don’t understand women and that is why he filled them with his passion and pleased them all! He gave maximum points to all of them! Of course our reviewers are just giving sarcastic remarks for his reviews. And then suddenly, his girlfriend stabs him in the heart! She accuses of running of with her money to ‘chase his dreams’ and blew all on the prostitutes. The rest restrain her so succubus guy talks some sweet words to make her realize she still loves him. Heh. Women. In the end, they are taken away and they know the succubus guy is going to live because he has a heart near his crotch area. Yeah, stab this one and he’ll die! Later, it seems doesn’t want to visit more prostitutes since he is short on cash. Yeah, Meidri cutting his pay ever since visiting the magic city. Although Stunk pays him in advance for the reviews, Crim still won’t go because visiting such joints still costs a lot. They suggest he take up quests and Crim still insists. Meidri had to put those guys in place and ignore their pervy calls just to get Crim back to work. Then Kanchal comes in. He is loaded with gold. He got it from the guild. Remember those reviewers trying to copy their work? Instead of trying to stop them and make no profit out of it, why not have them pay their share to them and the guild if they want to continue doing this. Yup, those reviewers are going to be their financial investors! Now they have the cash, they bug Crim to go prostitution reviewing but of course Meidri won’t allow them till he finishes his job. By the time he does, they’re already drunk and wasted. But that still didn’t stop them from getting their sex tonight. This time they visit some leprechauns. Thing is, they drink until they pass out only to have sex. I wonder how they can write reviews but they did. Not sure what kind of scores they give but it sure showed they were drunk. Only Crim didn’t get drunk and gave a moderate score. Then they realize they also hit other joints and f*cked. Can’t remember those! Worse, they spent all their money and their reviews are sh*t! Oh no. Time to go make some money. And hence they go adventuring so much that they actually saved the world from a certain impending doom! WTF?! WAS THE WORLD EVER IN DANGER WITH SO MUCH F*CKING AT EVERY CORNER????!!!!

Episode 12
Stunk and Zel review their mementos. Yup. Name cards from all the brothels they have visited. It’s like their badge of honour, f*ck version. Seeing one reminds them of the demon brothel that they never got to visit. They want to call for Crim but he is busy away waiting for some old tree to finish grinding the herbs. Waiting and waiting… I guess angels don’t do well with demons so it’s off to the demon brothels then. The moment they flash this name card, instantly they are given the VIP treatment. After the sex, they are explained why demons view contracts very important hence it is essential that you word them properly or it will turn out differently than you think. Hence our reviewers now understand why they were roped in to help in the review because it is to help give a better perception of demons. And who else better than them Ishuzoku Reviewers who give credible reviews. In the end, our reviewers rate demon sex highly. With these reviews out, Demon Two reads them to her boss who is not pleased that it came too late because the election is over and she lost! But considering the public views have shifted, she may use this to help in her next election. Demia then visits her as they talk about the airplane thingy from another world she saw to be created. It makes transportation easier. Sure. How about funding? Well… When we win the next elections. But upon realizing the other world has no magic whatsoever, she isn’t so eager to trade magic for airplanes now. Meanwhile Crim is still waiting… Is this the face of an angel who waited patiently or the face of one who has not have sex for a week?!

Everyone prays to usher the New Year. As Crim is unfamiliar with this custom, she asks Zel and is told about it. Of course Crim doesn’t think God listens to their prayers because if He does, he would have gone back to heaven! Zel tells him to be careful because that kind of statement will destroy the religion state of this world! Oh sh*t! Taking their minds of this, Stunk talks about f*cking their best f*ck last year so that they will have another good year of f*cking. However, magic city is very far and costly. Okay. Next best f*ck. Stunk goes with some elf girl, Zel with Mitsue, Kanchal the golem sex dolls, Brooz some furry beast and Crim prefers that hyena woman. Better not even think about Meidri because she won’t hesitate to really kill you this time! As they go to get their first f*ck of the year, too bad they are all full! Then the fairy receptionist comes by to thank them because of their reviews, their place is now full and only for reservation. But the reviewers didn’t give them high scores. That’s because there are many who aren’t confident with their junk. Besides, many don’t care about the scores. Just the honest reviews. She then gives them a special place to go that will surely satisfy them. If not, she’ll give them a freebie. Well, it doesn’t make them happy since she’s quite an old hag… So in this place she recommends, all their favourite girls are here. They think they aren’t real and just shape shifting off their memories. But who cares, right? As long as they enjoy their f*ck! And so they enjoy it that they give it almost perfect scores. Here’s to another year of great f*cking. On another day, Stunk and Zel got another great idea for review. Why not do a harem? Yeah. Sex is going to get more intense this year.

The Sex Files: The F*cking Sexperts!
Have penis, will f*ck. Ah, that’s the simple motto that these perverts sex reviewers have. It is also safe to say that the f*ck not for procreation but for recreation. Now that they are going to take their reviews to the next level, it is only a matter of time they may get bored and do some homo stuff! Oh sh*t! I don’t think I want to read those kind of reviews! With so much f*cking to cover, I wonder if they will give us another season? Well… What controversy are we talking about?! Well… Yeah…

This series was too controversial and raunchy that there was this initial hullabaloo surrounding it. The infamous Funimation who streamed the series and after 3 episodes in, they decided to cancel it because they found out it wasn’t part of their standards. Really? After 3 episodes? They didn’t know what they were streaming? Of course they were being thrown brickbats and everything, mocked and ridiculed for their whatever double standards or no standards at all. And when you try to ban something, people want it more. For that current time, this series was already quite popular with viewers and to do something like this (all because one single idiot didn’t like it and complained, causing the ‘righteous’ company to bend its knee) and taking it down from its streaming site was just an insult and a big rip-off. Eventually, other sites streaming it also followed suit. So are we perverts doomed not getting our weekly sex reviews?! Not quite.

Luckily for us, the saviour in the name of AnimeLab decided to carry on so that we can get our weekly fix. And with that, this scandal is soon blown over and quickly forgotten. Nobody is really complaining now at this point, right? Now we fans are happy and at least somebody is making a decent penny from this. I guess it’s true that when you decide to become woke, you get broke. What a joke! Hope you learn your lesson that you can never defeat porn no matter what measures you take!!! As long as there is great demand for it out there, it will surely exist.

Though fanservice and sex galore there are aplenty throughout this series, but honestly in my personal opinion, I didn’t really get stimulated or hard on in all of those scenes. Simply because I’m not a big fan of watching sex or porn of other species! That’s racist! But seriously. Even watching the female monsters having a good time and orgasm makes me feel all weird inside. I mean, really. Think about it. Do you really want to f*ck an octopus girl? I mean, really?! DO YOU?! You have got to be some sort of an ultimate sex maniac to do it with all sorts of creatures. So like our reviewers. As long as their dicks are functioning and the other party has a vagina, it’s all green light and good to go f*ck. Otherwise, my personal view is that watching those sex scenes are just cringe, just to put it in the mildest way that I can say it.

Sure, there are other hot non-human chicks out there that resembles closely to humans such as the elves. But I’m still not totally turned on. One reason in particular is because of the art style. You see, the overall feel of the anime has this cartoonish outlook. Even so, the ‘worse’ part is that many of the female prostitutes are somewhat flabby. I don’t think the word fat is accurate to describe them but I think they’re more of flabby. Even the slim ones seem to have this sort of look. Yeah. I’m so high standards that I prefer slim chicks. So sue me! With the art and animation one kind as well as the plump and chubby looks of the female characters, I hardly ever thought of even fapping at all! Though the art style generally reminds me of another anime series, Hen Zemi, this series isn’t produced by Xebec but rather Passione (Joshikousei No Mudazukai, Citrus and High School DxD Hero).

Seeing that this series relies a lot on such sex scenes for the reviews, as expected, there is the censored version and the glorious uncensored one. I watched the former because my imagination is superior! Also, as I did mention in my previous paragraph, the weird art style was somewhat a turn off so I don’t want to give myself ‘nightmares’ watching the uncensored version. Yeah, I’m so high standards in my beauty taste. Anyway, the censored version in a way may be annoying because censors prop out to cover the necessary parts but sometimes they are big enough to cover almost the entire screen. This is evident when there are multiple naked babes on screen and the blocking of the censors just can’t make you see anything. Perhaps this is a subtle way to go tell the viewers to watch the uncensored version if you don’t want to see such annoyance. Yeah well, my imagination is still superior! You can’t beat that, haha! But certain scenes are too raunchy to be shown and hence the entire screen is blank while the words of advising us to use our imaginations to imagine such scene will be displayed on the screen. Yeah. I guess we still can’t cross the line over to porn. See, what did I tell you of having superior imagination! Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting hentai. If you still can take more, at the end of each episode, a short segment hosted by Mitsue or some dirty old professor (can I call him the Nutty Professor?) to ‘enlighten’ you on some sex techniques or just purely dirty jokes.

I noticed that there are also quite a few sex puns in the conversation. However this is only because of the English subtitle translation that I noticed. Though my Japanese vocabulary isn’t all that good, I can still pick up a few words and their conversation is mostly normal. If not, just slightly raunchy for some puns. But the English subtitles really ramped it up with their creativity with some of the lines really turned into sex puns and sexual innuendoes. You either laugh or cringe. I’m mostly the former, if you want to know. It is befitting if you think about it because lacking all those f*ck words in English considering the kind of show this is, is just unreal. I even wonder if the names of our f*ckers are derived from sex puns. Stunk = junk. Zel = gel. Kanchal = cunt. Brooz = Boobs. Crim = creampie…

Basically there is no character development at all! Hey, this show is about f*cking, why the f*ck do you care about who is getting f*cked or the one f*cking anyway???!!! So essentially, Stunk and Zel as the main characters and the backbone of the Ishuzoku Reviewers, you can call them brave or just sick perverts. They f*ck and review first so that you don’t have to go in and then later regret your actions. While their reviews are ‘helpful’, please bear in mind that this is only based on their personality and preferences. For example, Zel who is an elf is very much age conscious. So he will not f*ck anything that is over 100 years old because apparently it’s like doing in his mom and grandma. But for Stunk, as long as you look like a hot sexy babe, his penis is always ready for action. Although many of their reviews are not very contrasting, it ultimately still boils down to their preferences. So you have to read their reviews with caution and a pinch of salt before you make your judgment. What they say is good may not be good for you. If I should say, what are you sex-pectations? Haha! After all, this is somewhat very similar to movie critics and the mass audience.

And Crim… Can he be considered as a fallen angel now? Yeah, this angel is corrupted by the desires of the flesh now. By the time his halo regenerates and he is allowed to return to heaven, heck, will he be even allowed back beyond the Pearly Gates?! Crim might not be as perverted as Stunk and Zel and he is still very much a shy person when he does his reviews. Does this still make him an angel? Well, until God says so. Which brings the question of heaven into context. With so many brothels and f*cking around, you wonder if anybody in this land would be going to heaven. Perhaps the heaven here isn’t the same definition in what Christians’ heaven would be. So it would really be interesting to see if Crim can really go back to heaven at all. But even in the case he couldn’t, he could continue to stick around and f*ck more prostitutes! Oh yeah. I think he’ll choose the latter. After all, he has got the biggest dick in the mortal land! Those girls are lucky they could f*ck an angel! And don’t despair all of those going to hell. I bet there are brothels there too! Now you can actually f*ck demons instead of eternal suffering! This is so messed up.

With so many types of species and monsters in this world, it just goes to show that sex is everything. It is like an extreme rule of Rule 34. As long as a species exist, there is a possibility to just f*ck them. Hence across the land, there are brothels here, there and everywhere. Every nook and corner of the kingdom. Like as though the entire kingdom itself is a red light district. Maybe it is just superficial as we are not shown the other areas of the kingdom so we assume that everywhere is a f*ck shop. Heh. I don’t think we would even care if there is a pasty chop in the land. We just want to know if there is a prostitution service for this certain kind of species! So every mythical creature you can imagine exists right here to fulfil you carnal desires. Want to f*ck a Cyclops girl? You got it. Hyena woman? Never thought those existed but they do. Slime girls? Your ultimate fantasies come true! Fairy girls? No dick too small to handle! Zombies? Not even death can f*ck us part! Absolutely proves that sex is the universal tune that everyone can agree on. So I bet that even when you die, heaven or hell will even have brothels at your service! I wonder what are the terms and conditions to f*ck with God!!!!!!!!!!! I know I won’t be able to handle Him but if that possibility exists, you bet there are bold ones who wouldn’t even think twice to try!

I suppose to keep the variety of the reviews, the fourth member of Ishuzoku Reviewers is usually one of the minor guys. Be it Kanchal or Brooz and some appearing only once or twice like Narugami or Delivel. It would be boring to just here from the same guys all the time, right? So when is Meidri going to get done in by those guys? Haha! If that ever happens, it will only be on the deepest and darkest porn of the web. So Meidri being the most mature of the pack because she puts up with all the perverted talk those usual reviewers do but she won’t stop them from doing it because it’s none of her business. Also, they patron her bar and bring in a lot of business thanks to their reviews so I guess it’s not all that bad. So really, when will the do a review on Meidri?! Perhaps Queen Meidri doing BDSM seems to likeliest…

The opening theme, Ikouze Paradise by the trio of Stunk, Zel and Crim… Wow, it sounds so much like Village People’s YMCA! Or at least, In The Navy or Go West. I guess these are their better hits than Sex Over The Phone. But anyway, the tune is catchy enough and filled with lots of sexual innuendoes to make you want to sing and dance along. Though, not necessarily getting your libido up or bust a nut because in my case, you already know why. Young man, there’s no need to feel down/ I said young man, just take a look around/ I said young man, pick the best girl in town/ There’s no need to be unhappy! The same trio sing the main ending theme, Hanabira Ondo which sounds like a traditional festival song but infused with more sex innuendoes into its lyrics. Then they ramp up the sexiness with disco, rap and hip hop fusion. Sexy weird?

Overall, this anime is definitely unique and making the conversation for all the right and wrong reasons. If you don’t like sex in your entertainment, definitely you’re going to scream your head till it explode and it’ll be so before you even finish the first episode. Otherwise, this ecchi masterpiece is just for pure entertainment and enlightenment on what it’s like to have sex with everything else that moves under the sun. Or lurks in the shadows. Sure it’s weird but sex itself is weird. We’re all here to have a good time, right? This anime doesn’t disappoint in that sense if you have an open mind (and libido). Though I have to admit that I do have interest in sex but I’m not that sex crazy so I’m going to pass and not even think of f*cking the other species. Because hot sexy human female teens are my only type. That’s racist! Okay. Whatever. As long as I like it. But where can I find those hot singles near my area who wants to hook up with me?! So I give this series a 6 out of 10. Not because of the sex reviews. Rather, the sex puns that I can learn and use for as cheesy pickup lines. Or not. So enough reading reviews already. Get up and go bust a nut today!

Well, well, well. Can’t get enough of your MILF fanservice, huh? You know what is even better? Beach episode MILF fanservice! YAY! A real proper beach episode that we didn’t get in the TV series. And so that is the basic excuse premise for Tsuujou Kougeki Ga Zentai Kougeki De Nikai Kougeki No Okaasan Wa Suki Desu Ka OVA AKA Okaa-san Online OVA. Is there any other reason to watch this than the obvious?! So what are you waiting for?! More Mamako please!

Do You Love Your Mom On The Shore?
Shirase has our gang have fun at the beach simply because she wants to grant our wishes for a beach fanservice episode. Yeah. Thanks a bunch! After we see the ladies in their swimsuits, Porta tries to blow her inflatable but runs out of breath. Masato tries to continue buy Wise stops him. Then everyone teases her for being worried about this indirect kiss. Her magic causes Masato’s trunks to rip. So Mamako hugs him to hide his privates! She is even willing to let him wear hers since she is not embarrassed! I bet Masato will die of embarrassment a thousand times! Thank goodness for spares… As they go dip in the sea, it seems Masato doesn’t like Mamako being too close to him. He sits out as Mamako feels sad. But so as not let this be all gloomy, the other ladies have fun with her. Then the watermelon splitting event, Porta turns an ordinary stick into a sword?! Masato is of course going to split it as Mamako guides him. Then he hits something soft. Turns out to be Mamako’s boobs! Cheeky mom even makes a cheeky remark he split her melons in 2! Somehow the sword becomes a boomerang and hits back on Masato’s head. He passes out but when he comes to, he is amnesiac. He doesn’t remember anything. Not even himself. So who is Mamako? You know, she could have just avoided all this confusion had she just said she is his mom. Instead, some long winded talk that he is her most precious in the world. Yeah… Masato feels comfortable being with Mamako and her words put his heart as ease. Since helping her cook is one of her many dreams, Masato is willing to make all her dreams come true.

So yeah, we’re playing this Twister game that for obvious reasons Masato won’t play with mommy anymore. You can tell how this is going to end. Best view for Masato, her ass before his face. Next is catching crabs. For obviously stupid reasons, the crab escapes and hides under Mamako’s bikini. Then it gets naughty enough to cut her bikini! Masato quickly hugs her to hide her modesty. So he doesn’t want anybody else to see her naked body. He is the only guy around, you know… With Masato and Mamako having such a swell time together, the other girls need to put an end to this or this will get troublesome. Hence Wise and Medhi try to seduce him to get his guard down so they could whack him on the head. Of course they also have plans to actually seduce him. But Masato can tell their intentions and tells them off. The girls get roasted about their boobs… They’re so dead. Masato and Mamako watch the sunset. More loving words from Mamako. This makes Masato realize as he confesses he loves her. Before he kisses her, a squid tentacle grabs Mamako. Oh right. This is supposed to be a fanservice episode, right? Masato saves her but realizes he called out to her as mom. Then the squid grabs Masato. Don’t tell me this squid is gay… Nobody touches her son. So Mamako uses her swords to defeat that squid. Masato is drowning but remembers flashback of some small beach mishap. Mom was there to console him. OMFG. Mamako becomes Moses as she splits the ocean apart to go get her son! OMFG! Masato has gotten his memories back and realizes mom has always been saving him. Back on the beach, free squid BBQ. Masato doesn’t remember his time while being amnesiac but Mamako isn’t sad because she knows Masato will always need his mom. Yeah, mom knows best, right? And then for some stupid reason, the heat causes the tentacle to jump and hit all the ladies. Now it’s their turn to have amnesia.

Is It Wrong To Pick Up Mama On A Beach?
Oh well. It was pretty much as expected as it would be. But it is still mind boggling to know that Masato actually lost his memories. IN A VIRTUAL GAME! I mean, how the heck could this happen? Is the game so powerful that it could also affect your real life memories? Whatever and however this works, it is just your cheesy reason so as to get some MILF fanservice. Because obviously Masato who is at his usual rebellious phase would never cooperate and do all this cheesy sexy stuff with his mom. So the only way he could do it all as if he is dating is if he lost his memories. Now you see why the perks of Mamako having such a hot sexy onee-sama body and looks? And my guess is that Mamako really wants to do this too because you do not even see her the slightest of being embarrassed that she is being literally seduced by her own son! I fear that when he grows up further, she would want to marry him! Assuming Papasuke is dead or divorced. But you get the point. You see Mamako enjoying herself to the last bit. This is why she didn’t tell an amnesiac Masato that she is her son. That is why she never resisted when Masato was slowly preparing to kiss her! I mean, he is your son! Do you not feel the slight disgust! YOUR SON! Thus she really wants to live this moment when her son who is now a hot hunk to give her that kind of romance. After all, it will be over soon, right? Such a great fleeting dream…

So yeah, Mamako is a real creepy mom if you think about it. And she might be right to know that Masato will always come back to rely on her. Heh… The rest of the other girls didn’t quite make an impact and even if they do, Mamako still steals the spotlight. Too bad Wise and Medhi, looks like we now know that even in Masato’s unconscious state, he’ll most probably choose mommy over you. Better try EVEN harder than that. And Porta still carrying her bag on her head everywhere she goes. Even to the sea. Now that they leave us with this cliff-hanger that it is the ladies’ turn to have memory loss, I am certain that Masato will not go so far as to brainwash mom that they are not close. Or at least keep her distance. I’m sure he is not that kind of son. But sometimes, a kid his age maybe needs his little distancing from mommy. Because at this rate, how can a guy like him spread his wings and fly if mommy keeps sheltering him? Uh huh. It’s like Mamako doesn’t want him to leave the nest at all… Wow. Too deep and dark thoughts for what should have just been an enjoyable mindless MILF fanservice. So thank you Mamako, for all the lovely fanservice for us viewers. I know the only guy in the world who will not enjoy this a single bit is your son but whatever. Millions of guys out there are made happy. And so it is true indeed that mothers really know best! ;p.

Kandagawa Jet Girls

March 29, 2020

Okay, people. You know it is time to put up another series with some sleazy fanservice. What’s the best way for girls to bare their boobs and butts and dress all sexily without having us questioning too much? That’s right. Water sports. The only time when we horny otaku guys get to legitimately peek on girls with more skin than their clothes. But we’re not going for just any realistic water sport. We need to mix it up with some sort of fantasy either. So I guess beach volleyball is out, huh? Yeah, we had that back in 2018. Remember Keijo? Yeah, that was too obvious. So what a way to get boys who like their big machine toys by introducing babes and jet skis. Yes, people. Jet ski racing. Herald, Kandagawa Jet Girls! Don’t you just love it that hot sexy chicks in tight outfits riding their hot sexy water craft machines faster than the stars? Is it no wonder why this ‘futuristic’ sport is all female only?

Episode 1
When Rin Namiki was young, she watched her mom become the new champion of Jet Race. I hope she just isn’t admiring those huge boobs… Many years later… Her mom’s dead! Oh dear! That escalated quickly! It is also at this strange point Rin decides to transfer to a high school in Tokyo and he father gives his blessings. Countryside girl is of course amazed at the new sights of Tokyo, meeting weird girls whom we’ll know will serve as her future opponents. The big city is also confusing for her as she gets lost. And robbed! She chases down the thief but luckily Misa Aoi trips him not because she wants to but was trying to nurse her swollen foot (from kicking the VR machine!). So inside her bag is a giant dolphin bolster that she can’t sleep without? Is that the only thing she packed when she came here?! Misa isn’t the friendly kind so she leaves. When she returns to her dorm, guess what fate has in store for her? Rin will also be living here and yeah, she will be her roommate! Hyper Rin tries to bug Misa to be friends at school so much so Misa just finds her annoying and avoids her at all cost. Not until she hears Rin’s dream to become a Jet Racer and how she loves riding a jet ski. So Misa relents and lets Rin hang out with her. But as they do so on a pier at Kandagawa River, the snobbish Kaguya Shijuin and her maid, Kuromaru Manpuku tell them to get out because they are going to use it for their jet ski activities. Misa being obedient moves but Rin stays put and believes the river belongs to all. Hence Kaguya is going to teach her the rules of the place. Yes, they’re going to settle this via Jet Race. Rin accepts because she wants to become a pro Jet Racer someday. Misa feels conflicted of not stopping Rin. Obviously something has happened to her as she once harboured those dreams but has given up on them. Anyway she prepares for the race with Rin. Rin being the Jetter while Misa as the Shooter. Race day is here and while it looks like Rin-Misa (known Kandagawa Jet Girls AKA KJG) is in the lead, I guess somebody had the naughty idea of putting Shooters in this aquatic race. Because Kuromaru shoots Misa’s ass till her pants drop off!!! WTF?????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUU???!!! WHY NOBODY MADE THIS MOVE ILLEGAL???!!!

Episode 2
So we are explained about pants being shot off as a safety device. WTF. We are worried if Misa’s ass is going to be okay?! Obviously more rules explanation and there is more to a Shooter’s role than just shooting pants off. But of course. It seems there are certain points of the jet ski one can aim at. Once it reaches a certain critical point, the jet ski will forcibly shut down its power and go slow. WTF is this stupid rule?! Might as well just have Shooters shoot ass all the way! Of course it won’t be shooting all the way as we see the Jetters pulling off some manoeuvring. Rin makes a few surprises as she is able to surpass Kaguya at certain times. Seeing Rin serious must have made Misa not fool around too. Uh huh. Serious enough to shoot of Kuromaru’s top! In the last spurt, Kuromaru has shot enough to forcefully make Rin’s jet ski slow down and that is how Team Dress (Kaguya and Kuromaru pair) win at the last moment. Of course Rin doesn’t feel sad but enjoyed every bit of the race. Later Misa asks her why she did not use the boost system. Simple. She doesn’t know how to use it! She only knows how to use those on old models that her mom used. Rin learns that Kaguya wasn’t being a mean bully trying to monopolize the river. They had booked it earlier on and there are sets of rules to do so that everyone can share and use the river. Of course only clubs and association can do that. Unfortunately their school has no Jet Race club. Did Rin pick the wrong school? And of course, that won’t stop her because she’s going to make a new club! Certainly she’ll overcome all the procedures needed to create her new club. Like the case of an advisor, plead with puppy dog eyes until Yamada sensei gives in! Need more members? Plead and bribe Hina Tsuruno with more food till she gives in! Maybe Rin is too eager that she tries to submit for club approval to the student council president, Fumika Shinshijuin without getting enough members and will think about that once the club is running. Too bad she is kicked out. Then she tells her ‘sob story’ to Misa and in some ways she takes pity on her and decides to join her club. Wow. That was easy. Big thank you girly hug coming your way!

Episode 3
This is also how you snag a new member. Because Kiriko Yoshitoku is a mechanic and loves to fix jet skis, Misa offers her to dabble with their jet ski as long as she joins. You bet she’s in. Eager beaver Rin goes to submit to Fumika but gets thrown out again! Puppy dog eyes didn’t work this time. But hearing her lament she wanted to challenge Kaguya again, Fumika asks her if she can really do that. Because Rin says she can, Fumika will join her club! But Rin has to be careful not to pronounce her name since her family is a branch of Shijuin family and she doesn’t like that. With the club approved, Rin talks to Misa about it. Eh? Misa says she didn’t say she joined her club?! WT?! Did she forget last episode?! Rin feels so bad she misinterpreted her words and will go take off her name. But Misa stops her. What’s done is done. First club meeting, they discuss about Kaguya. Yeah, never lost before. Going to break some consecutive wins record if they win this year’s Kandagawa Cup. Misa throws in some tough training regimen for Rin and is surprised she is still hanging in there. Maybe she does have what it takes to defeat Kaguya. Hence Misa asks Rin for an outing this weekend. Our first yuri. Of course they get separated and with Rin getting lost, she stumbles into the typical pair of spunky-foreigners-who-love-Japanese-culture-so-much-they-pretend-they-are-Japanese, Jennifer Peach and Emily Orange. They are grateful she picked up their dropped item so they decide to take her around as treat. When Misa finally finds her, she is not pleased. Somehow she hangs out with them too and is further displeased the weeaboos have already taken Rin to all the places she planned to take her. Rin tries to calm them down by letting them choose souvenirs she bought but Misa and Jennifer end up picking the same yellow keychain. WTF?! Rumbling boobs to show the intense of their rivalry???!!! They’re ‘roaring’ away!!! And you’ve guessed it, the only way to settle this is via Jet Race. Oh boy, it really came down to this, huh? And that fake Rocky theme song so epic…

Episode 4
Wanna bet that Jennifer and Emily AKA Unkai Surfers are top scholarship recipients at a prestigious American high school who are studying abroad and a powerhouse in their field? Yup, thought so. The race starts and apparently when you boost your jet ski, it also changes shape. We’re not here to see jet ski transformation, right? We see Unkai Surfers taking the lead while KJG making a few mistakes. And then Emily’s gun is a bazooka! OMFG! Is that even legal?! No wonder Rin’s top got blown off despite not taking a direct hit! Also apparently at a certain stretch of the river, there are ramps you can use to jump over if not traverse through the obstacles. Misa doesn’t want Rin to use the ramp and save her boosts. And you know things are going to get serious when Misa know turns a sharp shooter that a single shot blows off Emily’s suit. Emily tries to use her bazooka to put up a water screen for distraction but I guess the downside in having a bazooka is that it has very limited ammo. She’s all out of them. Then on the last leg of the final lap, as Unkai Surfers uses the ramp, Misa’s idea is that when they are directly underneath them, she puts all her power into a single shot at their engine and forces their jet ski to shut down and go slower. With that, Rin presses and zooms ahead and overtakes the foreigner duo and wins it. In the aftermath, Rin still gives them keychains and of course they get so emotional about it because the true treasure is their friendship, right? So rivals become friends but still remain rivals? Misa is happy to keep her yellow keychain but refuses to say why she really wants it so badly. Hey, let’s not ruin today’s great race over something so trivial.

Episode 4.5
WTF???!!! WHY DO WE EVEN NEED A RECAP EPISODE?! Oh, the plot must be so convoluted and confusing that we need to remind viewers what happened to the story so far. Oh yeah. Because viewers are too lazy to go back and watch those episodes. What’s this about production issues?! You mean those delicious asses and tits weren’t enough to motivate the staffs to finish the job?! You guys failed in giving us our weekly fapping material!!!! On a serious note, while they only show recycled scenes from the early episodes, some ‘new dialogues’ are narrated by Rin and Misa so you can’t say that it isn’t entirely copy and paste. Oh well, have some fanservice better than none at all.

Episode 5
Rin makes it sound like she and Misa have become one! Not sure if the rest understood the real message but their reaction sure make it look like it’s a big deal. Later the duo try to practice their VR but then it broke. Kiriko tries to fix it and realizes the core is busted. Time to go get spare parts. Rin is happy to go with her and apparently Misa doesn’t want to be left out and also tags along. Worse, we see Misa feeling worried because Rin looks pretty close to Kiriko. Then as an excuse, Misa suggests to take Rin sightseeing since Kiriko is better off shopping for the parts. Sorry, but this isn’t Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen making its debut. Instead, it is the name of a pair of lesbo Chinese idols, Ziyu and Dina. Yeah… They’re quite popular too. Also here are Jennifer and Emily. They patron one of Hell’s Kitchen’s idol café (don’t worry, everything here tastes sweet and delicious) as the foreigners talk about the idol duo not only being famous idols but pro Jet Racers. More woes for Misa because Rin gets a call from Kiriko that she is done shopping. So what’s wrong? How the f*ck did Kiriko get Rin’s number when she herself doesn’t have?! More sad cat Misa face as Rin is all clingy to Kiriko on the way home. And then Rin goes out with the foreigners to Hell’s Kitchen’s concert. Now Misa is so ‘traumatized’ that she is sitting by herself at some dark corner that she almost scares the sh*t out of Hina. She gets the hint after Misa mumbles something about wanting to get a friend’s number. Hence we see Misa practising by herself on how to ask Rin for her number. Painful to watch. Real test comes when Rin suddenly returns. Now’s your chance… Nope. She left. Next time maybe. KJG finally have their go to practice on Kandagawa. However suddenly they get word from the association that their slot has been cancelled. What gives?! Turns out the one behind this is Hell’s Kitchen after using arm twisting tactics to get the association to bend over and f*ck them in the ass. Yeah… And when they start badmouthing others, that is where Rin draws the line. Their win had nothing to do with luck. Prove it. And as expected, this is going to be a jet ski duel. The winner gets the rights to use Kandagawa. As expected too, the idols take an early lead and leave our favourite duo in the dust. Make that water trails.

Episode 6
Hell’s Kitchen navigates the water better and Misa suffers from her jacket being shot off. You’d think all this is part and parcel of the drama when suddenly… Plot twist! They cut short this race as Hell’s Kitchen wins!!! WTF???!!! TOO FAST!!! And of course KJG returns to their daily lives. Obviously Rin is putting up a fake front and you can tell with that fake happiness. Misa tries to cheer her up and bring her on an outing. As they take a selfie, a pair of gals, Manatsu Shiraishi and Yuzu Midorikawa accidentally walk by and ruin their selfie. Rin recognizes them as they were the ones who helped take pictures for her when she first came to this city. The gals lack tact since they also point out they recognize them via their recent loss to Hell’s Kitchen. Misa is not pleased and asks who these b*tches are. Wanna bet they are also pro Jet Racers known as Baba Girls? Yeah. Misa doesn’t want Rin to hang out with them for they could be bad influence on her. Since when is Misa her mom? Unfortunately Baba Girls take that as an insult. Oh no. I can see where this is going. Yup, they’re going to settle this via challenge. And that challenge… Bowling?! Damn they trolled us… Obviously Baba Girls are good. Then a few more other challenges too like ping pong, basketball and some dance game. Why do I feel it is to showcase their sexy curves? Of course Baba Girls beating KJG flat in all games. Unkai Surfers happen to be here and just in time to be the commentators of this pool version variation snowball-cum-dodgeball game. In the end, Baba Girls trounced KJG. And of course the lesson of it all that should make our heroines realize what they lack: Communication and teamwork. On their way home, Rin admits she got worked up when the loli duo badmouth Misa. Hence blaming herself for the loss. Misa hugs her and suggests the only way to get better at communicating is via exchanging numbers. Yeah, nice. That did the trick. Rin is so happy that she never thought she’d ask. Wow. Rin bawling like a baby in public. Embarrassing… We hope the duo can communicate better because they seem to be doing so during their bedtime. Yup. Lots of texting to each other. DESPITE THEY’RE JUST SLEEPING A BED BUNKER AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 7
It is rumoured that a monster named Nyunyu lives beneath Kandagawa. Hence Hell’s Kitchen is doing so pseudo documentary to go catch it. Ziyu accidentally fishes off Dina’s top. Nothing fishy about those little monsters but I’m sure the fans would appreciate it. Hahaha!!! Meanwhile the test is coming up and Rin is confident because she has never failed one before. And that jinxed it because she failed! She has to buck up because as Fumika warns, if she continues to fail the make-up tests, she will have to take remedial classes and this means no Jet Racing activities. And the Kandagawa Cup is just around the corner… With Misa agreeing to this, Rin can’t even sneak in to practice on VR. At the library, Rin spots Kiriko reading an old Jet Racer magazine. Yes, Misa is in the article and it seems she was quite a pretty famous Shooter then. Why she transferred to this school without a Jet Racing club is beyond them. So Rin goes to ask her directly. Though she didn’t get mad, Misa reminds her to get her priorities right. Luckily Rin listens so she burns the midnight oil till she finally passes. When she resumes normal training, suddenly she falls sick. Poor girl. I hope studying didn’t cause her to burn out like that. That night, not sure why Misa suddenly got some panic thoughts on Rin. Hence she stares at Rin while she is sleeping! I swear this girl is getting creepier by the episode. Next day, Misa is out training, she spots Baba Girls trying to catch Nyunyu for social media likes? With that small net? They learn Rin is out sick. You know the cue of visiting her, right? Back at the dorm, Misa washes Rin’s back. Because of the ambiguous noises they make, the eavesdropping Baba Girls get the wrong idea. But nothing more to it as Misa lets them in. Apparently the best way to help one down with the flu is to eat lots of snacks! Yeah. Here’s the full course. Even Unkai Surfers is here to help Rin recover with their canned fruits. Yeah, it’s getting noisy and I’m sure Misa is not happy her private time to monopolize Rin is gone. That night, Misa catches Rin crying in her sleep. It’s yet another one of those dead mom’s dreams. Rin explains to her how mom died when she was young. Because she wants to experience Kandagawa the same way she did, the reason she transferred to this school. Misa assures she is here for her. Next morning, Rin wakes up and finds her sleeping by her side. I’m sure it was not the hand holding all night long that cured her flu.

Episode 8
Hell’s Kitchen are now doing… Bungee jumping?! Man, the things they would do to get ratings… Don’t push or you’ll both fall first… Too late… Regarding that Nyunyu hogwash they did last week? Yeah apparently many are starting to believe that monster is true. Rin is watching the race they lost to Hell’s Kitchen. She thinks she got what they’re missing: A weird team pose! Misa vetoes it of course. As they head out, they see Baba Girls still trying to catch Nyunyu. Apparently rumours say that if you catch it, your wish will come true. We know it’s nonsense but seeing Rin really wants her friendship to deepen with Misa (and also accept that weird team pose), she’s in for the ride! And yes, Misa who didn’t want to tag along, has to tag along. Because, friendship issues. Underneath the maze of sewers, obviously Misa is scared so Baba Girls can’t help tease her especially with ghost stories. Reaction so priceless. Especially when Misa trying to pretend to play tough. Even Rin got into the teasing! And when everyone starts tickling her, who is tickling her feet? WTF?! Mice?! Then there’s the whole pack of them! Run! WTF?! MICE GONNA RAPE THEM???!!! They got lost but no worries, that light at the end of the tunnel has them come up a well of the shrine house of Inori Misuda. Japan is so good that they even invite strangers to a bath, even those coming out from your abandoned well. Of course this leads to some bath time fanservice. Baba Girls really ‘exploring’ the boobs of KJG. After bath, Inori even treats them to a nice meal. Great hospitality. Then she ‘warns’ them about Nyunyu. It could be the reincarnation of the local Kanda God as it was once a paddy field. Hence they must not encroach on this land will ill intentions or be met with divine punishment. After they return home, I guess Rin still has mommy and friendship issues so the next day, she returns to Inori to seek advice. Something about leaving her friendship to the will of God. Seriously? Inori then explains she must also work hard for it. Pray is just to declare your intentions and not just to hope God will make your wish come true. Here that, all you people out there! Work hard! And so Rin goes to pray at the shrine that they will be in sync to win the next race. Gotta start small.

Episode 9
The Kandagawa Cup is around the corner. Here is how it works: In the preliminary rounds, the 6 teams who score the most points move on to the finals. That’s it. That’s all you need to know for now. I guess for KJG, if they want to face Hell’s Kitchen who is seeded in the finals, no prizes to guess they must succeed in the preliminaries. As KJG duo go on their routine training, they see a girl, Fuuka Tamaki seemingly wanting to jump off the bridge. They go restrain her and she explains she didn’t have such intention. However, since she was reflecting upon her disgraceful self, she thinks off jumping off anyway! WTF?! KJG stops her and of course the cue for them to listen to her woes. To put things short all her grand poetic words, I figure she has some love problems and the person whom she is in love with is in danger of going away because of her overbearing ways. With Rin talking about feelings and believing, you bet Fuuka will change her mind. For now. Back at the shed, don’t get surprised if Rin can’t fit into her suits because her boobs have grown. Nope. Misa feels her up and notes it isn’t her boobs. Phew. Has she gotten fat?! Nope. She now has muscles! Trolled us! I suppose the suit is so tight that they didn’t make provision for muscles, huh? Not that I can see Rin’s bulging six pack either. Anyway, Inori and Fuuka enter and stumble upon this yuri scene. Sorry to interrupt. After clearing the misunderstanding, you would have guessed that the only reason why the duo popped up before KJG is because, yeah, wait for it, they are their competitors in the preliminaries. And hence KJG will be up against Inori-Fuuka pair known as Sea Serpents. When the rest starts, KJG is shocked that Fuuka’s character changes 180 degrees! Why, she is like a crude and aggressive gangster girl! Then they realize that because she has a split personality, it could be this other ‘person’ that she meant she was talking about. In this tight race, we see Fuuka f*cking aggressive. Is it even legal for Inori to be carrying a gatling gun?! For added ‘suspense’, both sides shoot off their suits. Time to show those boobs and asses. In the final stretch, just when Inori’s gun runs out of bullets, Misa shoots to slow down their machine. Then it is a mad dash to the finish line. Too close to call. A photo finish will see who wins. Guess who? A DRAW???!!! Wait. So how? Anyway, Inori calms down Fuuka who now reverts to her repenting meek personality. It’s not touching. It’s just weird, seriously.

Episode 10
Based on their last performance, Kiriko thinks some power unit upgrade is necessary if KJG wants to win their next race. Unfortunately a decent one costs 300 grand but luckily a more compatible is cheaper. Just 200 grand. Oh well. Time to beg for money. Hence Misa goes to beg Fumika for funds. You might think she would give in after hearing the buzzword to defeat Kaguya. But she’s not dumb. Defeat Kaguya first, then we talk money. An argument ensues. Basically a chicken and egg situation. Once they defeat Kaguya, then can get all the money they want. However they need the money to defeat Kaguya. See where this is going? Eventually the only way to assure funds is to get it themselves via part time job. Gee, I wonder if there are high paying part time jobs. Aha! Sell their bodies! Thankfully, that didn’t cross their minds so we see them do convenient store jobs to food sampling to maid cafes. And when they pool their money, they are just short of 20 grand. Damn, these jobs pay that high for a short period? What timing when Jennifer calls, claiming she has a high paying part time job for them. You mean they’re going to sell their bodies now?! Just kidding. Working at a beach house run by her aunt. With those cute sexy girls, it’s no wonder business soared by 200%!!! Once they get their pay, it’s all fun in the sun and sand. Even Baba Girls are here. Oh, Hell’s Kitchen too. Since they’re in public, they are on their best cutie behaviour. Also in good timing, there is a beach volleyball tournament that offers 100 grand prize money. You know what’s coming. Hey, I thought this is a jet ski anime???!!! We see all the jet ski girl teams bulldoze the competition. In the first semi-finals, Hell’s Kitchen defeat Unkai Surfers. In the other semi-finals, KJG beat Baba Girls. The finals is really a close race. Dina is on the verge of losing her patience but suddenly the match is stopped! It is their manager coming to pick them up for slacking on a tight schedule! Hey. Can she just waltz in like that and do as she likes? Who the f*ck is she?! Anyway, with Hell’s Kitchen forfeiting their match, KJG wins. Damn, come to think of it, for an obscure mini tournament, they sure offer a f*cking great prize. Oh well. Goal achieved. KJG will get their parts and we views got our weekly fanservice. It’s a win-win for everybody!

Episode 11
Suddenly… KJG has qualified for the finals!!! Woah. I suppose the other competitors weren’t that good or important, huh? So as they celebrate, we hear them note that KJG blew away their competitors without the power unit because their order will take some time to arrive but it’ll be here before the finals. Uh huh. Just to tell us how much more powerful KJG can be. And so we have 6 finalists for the finals, all of whom we already know. Yup, no new faces here. And you bet KJG is going to be the dark horse of the race. KJG practice but it seems they aren’t able to get the results they want. Cue for Misa to have a flashback why she doesn’t consider herself a genius. Her sister, Risa was the talented one whom she looked up to. Then one day Misa blundered and cost them a win. Because of that sole incident, she decided to quite Jet Racing and enrol in a school where there is no Jet Race club. Talk about giving up so easily, huh? I suppose the finals must be far away because Rin decides to return to her hometown. And with Misa being alone, she stumbles into Sea Serpents as they invite her to a training camp. Not sure what this training camp is about but looks like they’re just cleansing themselves under the waterfall. Meanwhile Rin has returned. She thought the huge crowd was to greet her but too bad, only her dad. The crowd is because Hell’s Kitchen is also on the same ship. Rin visits her mom’s grave and is lost on what to do next. You mean racing her heart out wasn’t enough? Coincidentally, Hell’s Kitchen are also here to pay their respects. They confirm Rin is the daughter of Ran, the person whom they admired and the reason why they got into Jet Racing. Ran told them to just be themselves because they are different people. With that, Rin’s blues are blown away. She realizes mom has always taught her what to do but she had always tried to follow in her footsteps. You bet she’s going to try her best now. Misa finishes her training with a clear mind. When she returns, Rin has also returned. Man, what a quick trip? This time, Misa has something she wants to talk to Rin about.

Episode 12
We see Kaguya holding a lavish party. I guess it is to explain to some uncle why she is into this sport. You see, being born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she wanted to show she could achieve something with her own strength. So I suppose Jet Racing > feeding the hungry kids in Africa, huh? I guess confused uncle just agreed and his face looks like it’s written ‘whatever’ on it. So the thing Misa told Rin was about her past, her sister as a talented Shooter and how she almost gave up on Jet Racing. So she’s telling her now to get this off her chest because they’re about to enter the biggest race of their lives. Good thing. Don’t want this past to haunt you and mess up during the race, right? Also, Rin tells Misa about wanting to follow her mom’s footsteps but realizes it wasn’t the right thing to do. So now they’re friends? You bet. Because Misa accepts their chibi face logo as KJG’s emblem. And so the much anticipated race is here. As it starts, we quickly see where the teams stack up. Dress and Sea Serpents fighting for the lead, Unkai Surfers and Hell Kitchen’s battling in the middle while propping up the back are KJG (as expected) and MKHU (you mean this is the official team name for Baba Girls?!). As we also expected, KJG needs to boost up if they’re going to win this. So they boost ahead to the middle of the pack and shoot off the suits of those 3 teams! Like, WOAH! Because they’ve given us their role of fanservice, it’s time to make them crash out. Uh huh. KJG’s boost causes a tidal wave that has them just bump out of the race. You’ve served your roles, ladies. Thanks. With the field halved, KJG and Dress got this same idea to gang up on Sea Serpent. So after shooting off their dress, their role too is over and hence they are shot out of the race with their jet ski going into tailspin. And in the final lap, KJG and Dress go head to head as they race towards the finish line. It’s a close finish, but not close enough for a photo finish because KJG wins!!! OMG! From last to first! Everybody rejoices! Our losers are grateful in defeat including Kaguya. Time to return to more training. It is hinted that her trainer could be Risa. Rin so happy that she cries and hugs Misa in front of everybody. Isn’t friendship embarrassing?

Go Jetters: Girls Gone Wet & Wild!
Oh wow. I didn’t really expect that kind of ‘rushed’ ending. Me being so sceptical at this point was thinking that it could end on a cliff-hanger and not resolve anything. Then they surprised me and end it with the typical fairytale ending because our dark horse favourites pull of a come-from-behind win to take the ultimate trophy. Wow. Such a sweet and lovely ending. Now we don’t have to worry if there is going to be another season or not to settle this. And so KJG has risen to popularity to become champions faster than the stars after giving Dress their first ever loss in this important cup. No wonder. And whatever record that Kaguya was going to break, nah, no more important.

It feels like the whole story and everything is half baked and all over the place. Like as though they’re writing it as they go along. Because you can tell that they are dragging out the drama and not having loads of Jet Racing action. I mean, isn’t Jet Racing supposed to be the main attraction and theme of this series. Oh wait. I forgot! It’s the fanservice! But anyway, you can’t entirely blame that this series feels unfinished because it is part of the bigger project of developing a video game of the same time. So after the anime has finished its run, the game is scheduled to be released in early 2020. Hence this series feels like one big promotional stint just to promote the game. Initially I was confused that the game had already been released because my lazy Google search has netted results of various screenshots of the game. So why is it not released during the run of the anime? Oh well, I subsequently found out that those were just promotional screenshots and trailers of the game. Sighs. I only I had just reading a little harder. It goes to show that I just need to put in more effort if I want to blow away any misunderstanding. Oh well, not that I’m actually interested in playing the game anyway. Besides, doesn’t the rushed ending feels like a big promotion for the game? Not satisfied with how the anime ended? Go buy and play the game then! I guess there are new characters and sexy girls for you to shoot off their suits!

Speaking of promotion, there was an OVA released after the TV series finished. It was supposed to promote the video game but even if I guessed correctly it was going to be filled with the same sleazy fanservice, I didn’t bother to watch through the entire thing. Uh huh. I just skimped through, making this 22 minute OVA over in less than 5 minutes. So basically it’s about Kaguya calling the rest of the jinjang gang to help do a promotional video about Jet Racing as per requested by the association. Yup. Those men in high powered suits know nothing about it and entrust this to a bunch of sexy hot babes half their age. And as you could guess, the girls have no clue on what to do so it turns out mostly with lots of fanservice, a typical cutie Hell’s Kitchen idol video, more fanservice, some weird American ninja weeabo sh*t, and hell lots more of fanservice. In the end, those executives are probably gay because the filming done by our amateur film shooting girls came out looking more like some sexy porn teaser. So they reject the whole damn thing and replace it with some stupidly boring mascot to stupidly boring explain what Jet Racing is. Yup. Wasted all their effort and even rushing to submit it for the deadline. What are the chances the video game will also be toned down because of this? Is this some sort of premonition?! Well, doesn’t concern me. Not going to play the game.

Because this is not your usual jet ski racing, there are certain terms on how this race is conducted and some of its rules. Very briefly. It’s weird they are racing in canals all over Japan and do they have to clear out all the boats that are parked there each time a race is held? I mean, some of those boats are homes for some people. Do they really need to clear the area? Because jet skiing in circles is boring, that’s why they incorporated another player just to shoot and make it more exciting. Except for fanservice reasons, the shooting is as boring as the race. Uh huh. Weird obstacles in the race too? Time to show your flying skills or your weaving abilities. Not that it’s that exciting either. Furthermore, when the series reached halfway and particularly after KJG’s loss to Hell’s Kitchen, there has been a dry run of jet ski races since! You’d thought that there would at least be 1 jet ski race per episode but in the second half, they took a detour like trying to find the mythical Nyunyu and WTF a beach volleyball competition?! I know variety is the spice of life but is Jet Race that boring that they need to incorporate this bunch of other stuffs?

And you thought Kandagawa Cup being the most important of all the jet ski racers, the Holy Grail of the Jet Race, you’d thought there’d be more competition but what the heck? Only 6 finalists? Maybe six sounds close to sex. Like, sextet. Sexy, geddit? Like where is everybody else?! Plus, is there some sort of Jet Race agency or union or association that is supposed to exist at least in the setting in this anime? Right: JJRA– Japan Jet Race Association. Because even if they do exist, they sound like they don’t because we have ragtag teams of the girls coming from all over the place. Heck, high school and teenage girls racing. Is this sport really regulated? Or it’s just one big pastime in this alternate setting of Japan and the adults just sleazily approve and close an eye on this sport because they want to see boobs and ass. Yeah, whatever. And isn’t it unfair that the Shooters, one team only has a pee shooter and the other some bazooka? Doesn’t the rules regulate this too? Talk about inequality. So who is holding the BFG 9000 then? Yeah, whatever again. As long as the clothes come off faster than the stars, we shouldn’t be complaining :-).

The other odd thing about the Kandagawa Cup as I noticed, if it was such a big and important event in Japan (at least in the setting of this anime), why are the streets somewhat empty? If you take a look at the bridges where all the audiences are watching, they are just paltry. Just a handful of people standing on the bridge watching. And you thought the bridge will be jam packed with cars but apparently there is no traffic at all! It looks so much like a dead town! Heck, even those buildings by the river, nobody is peeking out their windows to watch this race! So where the heck is everybody?! Is this just an elite sport for the few? Those JJRA buggers should just increase the number of teams in the finals, to attract more viewers. Is it me or do I also notice that many of the audiences are girls. Are the guys in this town gay because there are a handful of hot sexy girls and yet none of them even came out to watch. I understand why women only enter this sport and there might not be even a men’s category. But something wrong with this sport when it’s supposed to attract male boners but instead girls are interested because of the potential yuri. Just saying…

Of course everything in this series screams about fanservice. So much so that there are 2 versions of the anime while it was running. Yup, you’ve guessed it. The censored version or the uncensored one. Because I’m such a high class hentai noble, I watched the censored version as I am using my ‘superior imagination’ to visualize those tits and asses that have been blocked out by ‘blinding white lights’. Ah yes. I can see them so clearly now! It’s all in my mind!!! Rin and Misa’s tits and asses! Only amateurs and newbies as well as hardcore horny lowlifes will desperately watch the uncensored one. Oh yeah. Keep watching and enjoying those uncensored ones for visual eye candy, you lowly peasants! I’m now part of the elite group of aristocrats! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh damn, I forgot that despite the different taste in fanservice levels, we’re all still lowlife scumbags of perversion! Once a pervert, always a pervert. You’ve seen one pervert, you’ve seen them all! Sad… Sh*t, I’m getting side-tracked here…

Anyway, I believe that they are trying to come up with something different using the jet ski racing model while also incorporating fanservice into it. Because of that, there are a few mind boggling questions that you would have probably wanted to ask. For instance, the suit that they wear that can be shot off. If that doesn’t scream fanservice to you, I don’t know what is. Now, I read an article that the producer did provide an answer the necessity of wearing such suits in the first place rather than just hopping on the jet ski on their skimpy bikini. According to his answer, to briefly put it, it is to serve as security and protection. You know, when Shooters shoot their guns (some of them whom have bazooka-like firearms!), it is to protect their skin from being ‘damaged’. Okay. Cool. But why the f*ck then can it be shot off???!!! Do you understand what I mean?! This shows that the security suit is not doing its job properly if it can be shot off!!!! And so it leads back to the typical answer that it is just for some cheap fanservice. Nice try. But try again, dude. So, if the suit can be shot off, why not their normal shirt or pants underneath? Damn, these are more durable than the suits! Can those be shot off?! We’re waiting for the day it can! Dude, think and try harder again!

More fanservice galore when you realize that the reason a Jet Race is a team sport because when both girls huddle closely to each other when the race is close to the finishing and when the Shooters have run out of ammo, doesn’t this riding in tandem look like some sort of sex position? For example, Rin is always bent over as she is steering the jet ski as a Jetter. Once Misa is done shooting and of course they need the drag and aerodynamics science crap for them to go faster and hence Misa will also bend over, making her boobs touch Rin’s back and her crotch close to Rin’s ass. It’s like some backdoor sex position but on a jet ski! Is that high class or what?! I’m sure this is the best ‘ride’ ever. HAHAHAHA!!! Oops… And of course fanservice literally scattered over the rest of the series like the girls having some weird bonding in the bath, girls touching each other here and there (yuri cue!), ambiguous angles that show those delicious parts as well as the mid-intermission eyecatch that has some of them close to being porn potential. Seriously.

And the best part of the fanservice is how they trolled us Rin can’t zip up her suit. We’re thinking, oh damn, her boobs must have grown because she’s been pushing those twin mountains against her jet ski all the time. Mind boggling but literally somehow it worked. And then they tell us it is because she has developed muscles, that’s why her suit is so tight!!! WTF???!!! MUSCLES???!!! WHAT THE FFFFUUUUUU?????!!!!! Can they just get a bigger suit? And with the exception of the loli twins, why the heck are the rest of the other girls have big boobs? Is there some sort of prerequisite for one to enter this kind of sport? Boobs must be this big if you want to participate in Jet Race. Unless you’re a bunch of famous flat chest idols with the backing of a popular agency strong-arming your way through.

The characters are a big fail and there is nothing that makes you want to support any of them. Not even KJG despite being the main characters and the supposed star of the show. As you can see, both of them have their past and their reasons to enter this kind of sleazy sport. Both of them are the polar opposites of their characters because it makes better drama, I guess. Like Rin who is so bubbly and my pace, the kind of genius and advent in the game because she knows nothing about it (or at least, her knowledge of the sport is still stuck and outdated when her mom was the ‘world’ champion), only to somehow let her inner talent burst out at crucial times to deliver the desired ability. She wants to be her mom but I have seen lots of animes like these to tell that people like her usually need to follow their own footsteps to achieve greater heights. That admired person is just a guide and stepping stone. Everything is up to you. Uh huh. It’s that cliché moment that a character needs to have at least a parent dead so that it serves as motivation to go achieve greater heights. And as always, mommy will always be watching you from the stars, my little darling. Wow. No wonder Rin no more lost. You go get ‘em, girl!

If you find Rin’s liveliness annoying, at least it is not as annoying as Misa who is being somewhat a tsundere. She has this conflict about becoming Rin’s friend. Yes, she wants to become her friend but I’m not sure why she is so scared of doing so. Is it because Rin will tease her or something? Hence, she’s putting up that b*tch face and rejecting all of Rin’s attempts while in the background when nobody is looking, rues another loss chance. Is this what you call friendship drama?! It sucks, by the way. Sorry folks, no outright yuri too. But a little yuri is hinted so use your imagination. And then of course, to make her the brooding character who is opposite of Rin’s, to explain that, that is why we had that short flashback of her being a failure. Just 1 damn failure and she used it as an excuse to quite Jet Racing???!!! An excuse to continue painting her sister to be the all-time great. So where does it leave her? In limbo. Ironically she’s doing it now with Rin but her heart is not in there. I can see why KJG can’t easily win races all the time. We’re going to need a miracle like Rin’s 1000% optimism if they really want to beat all the favourites if Misa is going to continue to have low self-confidence. Luckily, all they need to do was to come clean about each other and hence the miracle of them suddenly working together like a charm without the thorn of their past bugging their performance. Heck, it’s like they didn’t even needed the latest boost system at all. Their friendship is the booster! Want more firepower to that boost? Get more yuri! HAHAHAHA!!!

The rest of the other characters are just meh. Especially the club mates of Rin and Misa. They actually don’t really matter. Even for the silliest reason that they need the minimum number of members to form an official club, they still are sure lacking in almost every way. Okay, to be fair, perhaps Kiriko is valid because she is the mechanic who tunes their jet ski. This gives Rin and Misa time to practice their skills instead of tinkering with the machine. But for Hina and Fumika? Why the heck do they even exist?! Maybe Hina is like the big sister, the manager who handles the other stuffs but I don’t really see her doing it. She’s so forgettable that at times I even forget she existed. We need a b*tch character like Fumika so that this snobby noble could one day rub it in her higher status family member that she’s no pipsqueak. However, it is Rin and Misa doing all the work and she just sits there doing nothing but give lip service sometimes. Otherwise her character is just redundant. Since KJG won, I didn’t see her bragging about it. Yay. So we beat Dress. So what? No effect at all. Because of that, Fumika feels so ‘absent’ in the final episode. Like we’ve forgotten about this somewhat. Same feelings to for Yamada sensei. The club just needs an advisor so it doesn’t look like a bunch of rogue girls gathering illegally in some illegal hideout to discuss Jet Race issues. Really.

And as you would have guessed, the rest of the characters who are the main rivals-cum-friends for KJG do not fare any better as well. Like always, variety is the spice of life and that’s why you have a really colourful bunch of weirdoes with their own weird personalities just to make things interesting. Somewhat. So like Kaguya the high class arrogant b*tch and her glutton maid Kuromaru, you bet somebody needs to bring them down from their high horse. Then we have a bunch of loli b*tches AKA Hell’s Kitchen who are equally as b*tchy because we need a loli version of b*tches in addition to big boobs noble b*tches. Don’t want any more b*tches to overlap the characters already. That’s why now we have a bunch of weeaboos, Unko Unkai Surfers who speak in weird accent just to show that they are foreigners who love Japan’s culture. WHO DOESN’T LOVE JAPAN’S CULTURE OF ANIME, MANGA AND GAMES???!!! Next, we have a pair of sluts AKA Baba Girls MKHU. Somebody needs to be hyper sexualized and thus the reason you have them. Because the way they talk and act, it’s like they’re itching to get f*cked. Like as though they just came out from some porn shoot and want more. Lastly, the very odd pair of Sea Serpents (should I call them snakeheads?), one with a personality disorder and one is a miko priestess. Are you sure it is not against their faith to do this kind of thing? Okay. Whatever. All in all, these characters serve as KJG’s main rivals and due to the lack of episodes, they are not fleshed out properly and that is why like me, you get to form stereotypical bias perception on the kind of characters they are. Hey, don’t blame me for pigeonholing them so. You didn’t tell me their back story so and so, so how am I going to understand why they’re acting like that?

Art and animation aren’t anything special. Just passable. Sometimes they use CGI during the jet ski racers but they’re palatable. I’m sure this is how the game is going to look like using this kind of graphics. But the one thing I find weird is that how some of the girls look fat! I mean, the way the characters are drawn, some of them really look chubby. Take a closer look at Kiriko, Rin and Misa’s face. No, take an even closer look. Do you not see the slight plumpness in them? Even more so with Kuromaru because she is actually a fat girl but her overly huge hentai-like boobs prevent us from seeing those flabby belly. Yikes! The jet ski designs are also not bad but too bad they aren’t given that much prominence compared to the curves of our girls. Sad… This anime is animated by TNK who produced the High School DxD series, Sin: Nanatsu No Taizai, Kenzen Robo Daimidaler and School Days.

I must be hearing things because I thought I heard Kana Hanazawa as Fumika. Nope. Wrong! It’s Hisako Kanemoto (titular character in Shinryaku! Ika Musume). Didn’t recognize any of the other casts. Well, maybe except for Satomi Satou. Barely. In a very soft spoken voice lacking of all emotions, she is one of the commentators of the Jet Race but her character is so insignificant for me to remember. Sad… Oh, Minori Chihara as Risa? Wasn’t paying attention to a character that had just a few seconds cameo. Anyway, the other casts are Yuu Sasahara as Rin (Akari in Tonari No Kyuuketsuki-san), Riko Kohara as Misa (Rokka in BanG Dream), Ai Fairouz as Emily (Hibiki in Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru), Lynn as Jeniffer (Maya in Sabagebu), Naomi Oozora as Dina (Kiriha in Tsugumomo), Rumi Okubo as Ziyu (Aguri in Gamers), Chika Anzai as Manatsu (Reina in Hibike! Euphonium), Kaori Maeda as Yuzu (Mari in Back Street Girls: Gokudolls), Aya Uchida as Inori (Kotori in Love Live), Ayaka Asai as Fuuka (Hazuki in Hibike! Euphonium), Azusa Tadokoro as Kaguya (Kotori in Gokukoku No Brynhildr), Aya Suzaki as Kuromaru (Mako in Kill La Kill) and Maki Kawase as Kiriko (Yakumo in Val x Love).

The opening is dung by the KJG duo. Faster Than The Stars Bullet Mermaid is your typical lively beat with some techno in it. Great for this series but not likely to end up in my personal list of top 100 songs of the year. The ending theme is Rivals by Azusa Tadokoro. Another generic rock music. Same, great for this show but not really to my liking. Now, the one that personally takes the cake is that fake Rocky BGM theme song. Even if it isn’t as epic as it is supposed to spoof, hearing this song each time never fails to make me break into a smile. You know, “Oh God. It’s that song again…”. Yeah… Also, my ears might be playing tricks on me because I think there is one BGM which I think sounds very close to Hotel California but in shamisen version. At least there is just one line that sounds close to that Eagles’ all-time hit. Other than that, many of the other soundtracks are made out of dramatic techno beats that are used mainly in the Jet Race.

Overall, this feels like a series just trying to cash in on the fanservice. Obviously the only memorable thing about this show which is otherwise so very forgettable. The story, the mechanics of the sport as well the characters are not properly written out and sometimes when you think about it, it’s that feeling that it’s just bad that it’s good. If you really want to watch a water sport series that is filled with ‘satisfying’ fanservice, go for Keijo. When you are already going for the fanservice goal, might as well go all the way of using the basic tits and ass instead of some machine to make it less obvious. We’re only lying to ourselves. No matter how sleazy and pervy the reason, we just want to see boobs and butts in action. That’s why Keijo was so highly successful that they couldn’t get another season. Heh. Sad… So whoever wins the Kandagawa Cup, we the audience are the biggest winners as we get to see the wet girl on girl action. And if we’re lucky, all their clothes come off during the race! Faster than the stars! Oh yeah, lots of huge cups for us to savour! So why aren’t we making jet skis the next popular sport in the world?!

I guess they didn’t have a decent beach episode for the past 2 seasons (though they had a hotspring OVA episode) and hence it is the right time for one. That is what Dungeon Ni Deai Wo Motomeru No Wa Machigatteiru Darou Ka S2 OVA is all about. No Familia wars. No dungeon raiding. Just pure beach fanservice for Bell’s harem. I mean, Hestia Familia. Whatever.

A deserted island named Paradise…
Hestia Familia is on this deserted island. On a mission to find a mysterious herb that allows one to get anything (doesn’t that sound more suspicious?), hence the gang on this island. But of course you bet the ladies are all out for Bell’s attention. Trying to tempt him to get into the water with them? What if Bell forgot his swimsuit? Turn it into a swimsuit contest! The winner will get to spend the entire day with him alone! You bet it is going to be a tough fight between Hestia and Lily but don’t discount Haruhime as the dark horse. So we see them preparing as well as hallucinating of getting naughty with Bell. Show time. Mikoto goes up first as demonstration. What the heck is this ugly clothes? It’s not even swimsuit. Is she even trying? Anyway, Hestia is up first. Using leaves as swimsuit, huh? Okay. Pass. Next is Lily. Cute one piece suit. But she uses the yoga ball to enhance her flat features. And sucking a candy for the kill. Bell looking flustered. Finally Haruhime. Shy girl may take it all from behind? You bet Hestia and Lily are going to protest this. So what is Bell’s decision? Don’t say all of them are winners because that would be insulting. Oh sh*t… Suddenly Aiz pops up. Oh. Dang. She the winner?! However something is strange. This is not the real Aiz. Because she has a strange mushroom on her head and she is acting like an idiot and retard! WTF?! Because she has no memories of herself, Hestia tries to pull a fast one by telling her that Welf is her lover. She believes it and goes to flirt with Welf before Bell’s eyes. Bell is so heartbroken that he rushes off and ends up in a ditch. Don’t worry. He’s not dead. Just out cold.

Ryuu seems to have found the herb but it is in the middle of a lake. So why does she need to get all naked so as to swim there to get it? Isn’t she wearing a decent swimsuit? Anyway, her scream is heard. Mikoto goes to check it out. Ah, that herb in the middle of a hotspring. And then her scream is heard. Welf goes to investigate. Oh, a smithy in the middle of the lake. You’ve guessed it. His scream. They return acting as idiots so it is up to Bell’s harem to save the day. Too bad they also end up as retards. By the time Bell wakes up, he is shocked to see them all turned into idiots with a mushroom on their head. And then they just stop moving. The mushroom drops off. Uhm, their real personalities become the mushroom? Chibi version? They want Bell to bring them back home. However standing in their way is Finn, Bete, Aisha, Apollo, Ares and a whole bunch of other characters. They’re going to destroy these mushroom characters! Suddenly a volcano erupts. The land cracks. The sea cracks. The sky cracks! WTF is going on???!!! Oh. Turns out to be a weird dream of Cassandra. Did she eat some weird sh*t mushroom? However she fears this is some sort of vision and tries to warn her friends. They brush it off as hogwash since Hestia Familia already went on that mission a week ago and are set to return. Besides, Cassandra was asleep for about a week too. And then Bell returns. A mushroom is spotted on his head. Oh sh*t…

Sexy Beach & Sexy Bitches…
Well, may not be the weirdest but it was definitely one of the weirdest sh*ts I have ever seen. All this turning out to be a dream or a vision could be a lazy way of making all this non-canon. Yup. Just easily write it off as a dream so that this won’t have any permanent and lasting effects. Even so, sometimes I feel that whoever came out with this weird sh*t suddenly ran out of ideas. They wanted to do a fanservice beach episode but didn’t really know how to end it. Because as you can see, it started out pretty decent with some decent fanservice (which is the big goal of this OVA) and as the episode progresses, things started not making any sense and because there is not enough time left, bam! This weird crap that we get. Like, WTF???!!! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING???!!! Like as though the one who came up with this nonsense was also high on some mushroom drug or something. Yeah, so there is no such herb that grants you anything, huh? Too good to be true. So either you love it or hate this ridiculous atrocity but I think we all had some sort ‘fun’ watching this OVA. We laughed, we cringed. We had the weirdest time of our life. Time to move on. And my guess that this is supposed to take off the load for the upcoming third season. Back to more dungeon raiding and possibly more Familia wars. Ah well, it was good while it lasted. It’s not very often that Hestia Familia could get to do something this fun together in such outings, you know. Now we need a high school setting parody for completion. Just saying…

Again… Sighs… WHY, JAPAN?! WHY OH WHY???!!! Trying to outdo yourself again? Oh well, it was unexpected since it was announced right after the first season ended. If you couldn’t get more of your horny desires of watching women with irked and sickening faces while showing their pantsu, then you will definitely love the sequel, Iya Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai S2. Yup. More or less the same thing. Those girls somehow agreeing to flash their panties at us just because we are ‘persistent’ enough to beg. But in exchange, we also must see their disgusted face. I suppose that’s a fair deal. That’s why we’re here in the first place. Again. Now hurry up and show us your pantsu!!!

Episode 1: Chitose Itou (Maid)
Wohoo!!! The best character has been retained!!! We go see our favourite maid again and we can obviously see from her chiding face that screams, “Oh, why it’s that perverted master again”. She claims she won’t show her pantsu even if we beg and kneel. Oh, so she’s just putting up a tough act, huh? Because the moment we prostrate ourselves, she panics. She didn’t expect us to do so and feels sad!? WTF?! So she rather throw away her own self-esteem than see us go this low? Okay. Whatever. That logic seems to actually make her calm down and we get to see her cute face. We are actually fine with this and should have just f*cking agree that we want to see her pantsu just because she is wearing it. But for some stupid reasons, we say we want to see them because it’s there. Uh huh. Doesn’t matter who. Anybody wearing the pantsu, we want to see it!!! WTF???!!! WHAT THE FFFFUUUU????!!! WHY???!!! And with that, our maid gets angry and does her trademark mean face. Sighs. Oh well. What is the name of this series again? A very annoyed maid then barely pulls up her skirt just for us to see…

Episode 2: Yuno & Kano Futaba (Twins)
What is better than seeing a single pantsu? Why, seeing double pantsu with twins! Our twins are so happy with us sensei because we helped them score better. But Kano is teasing Yuno that she did slightly better than her this time. Then Kano tries to get us to take her to the park as promised but Yuno disagrees since she scored higher the last time but didn’t ask for any reward. Then probably this yuri wrestling awakened our horny desires. Because when the twins ask for our answer, we say we want to them both… To show your pantsu!!! Initially shocked at first, they are even more disgusted when we start laughing and remain firm in seeing their underwear. I guess their respect of us has tanked. So they eventually want to get over with this quick. Yup, just show their pantsu as the minimal thanks for helping them in their exams. Then GTFO of here and never show your face anymore! Don’t come to us for the next test then…

Episode 3 Shiori Matsuura (Bookstore Clerk)
Shiori is happy that her favourite customer is back to get more books. After she happily recommends a book, we complain that she made a mistake in the book we ordered. She panics that this is the third time she has made this mistake. She’ll do anything to make it up to us! Anything, you say?! Show us your pantsu then!!! You heard that right. We’re bored with words and now we want picture book! Save us your fancy reprimanding words of how disappointed you are in us. Enough of words. Just show us your pantsu! Yeah, bet you never knew we also read other kinds of books, porn!!! Hahaha!!! But the reason why she put her disgusted face is because she is disappointed that we are a straight person and not gay!!! Sorry to disappoint you!!! Not all guys who love books are yaoi material!!!

Episode 4: Natsumi Hayakawa (Dentist)
Open wide!!! Cutie dentist assistant seems to be flirting with us as she cleans our teeth. She even hints that if we manage to get through this, she’ll give us a reward. Aha… Once we’re done and we are making bookings for the next appointment, she hints the reward as certain days where she has free time. I guess we’re pushing our luck as a big idiot because we know she likes us but instead of agreeing to a date we want her to show us her pantsu!!! WTF?! We even admit that this is a good chance to see her pantsu???!!! Wow. We’re really f*cked up. And just like that, she lets her see what’s underneath. Yup, agree with her we need not get our teeth fix the next time but our pervy personality!

Episode 5: Riko Fujino (Childhood Friend Imouto)
Our little sister is so happy that we took her out on a date today. She even thinks if we look like a couple. Oh, you bet it is going to be ‘better’ than that. In return for this wonderful date, she would like to give us something to make us happy. As long as it is inexpensive. Okay. How about priceless. Like showing your pantsu!!! Not a joke! Show it to us!!! Otherwise today’s date is meaningless! Wow. She looked so disappointed and even dropped the spoon to see if we picked it up. We did! Surprised, no?! And because we couldn’t see it clearly, we specifically tell her to lift her skirt! Yup, that’s what we really want. She takes off the bracelet we bought for her and throws it away before giving in to our immoral request. Saiyaku. Saite. Hope it was all worth it. Damn it was!!! HAHAHA!!!

Episode 6: Maria Takayama (Nun)
Previously, lots of people might have converted into Christian. That’s why her character came back this season!!! Hahaha!!! Anyway, our sister thinks we have returned and repented. Heck, we even wrote a letter to show our true feelings. She reads it and praises the Lord that we have indeed repented. But wait. She read it wrongly. Instead, read not horizontally but vertically. The hidden code to our true desires. Oh yes. Show us your pantsu!!! Uh huh. We’re still sinners. Then we go into prayer mode and promise this will be the last time!!! Our sister is starting to lose faith in us as she lifts he skirt. Oh yeah! We can see heaven coming!!! We’re cumming, heaven!!!!!!! Oh Maria, you wised up because with that pervy face you know this isn’t going to be the last time. Best Christian anime sequel ever!

Don’t Get Your Panties In A Bunch!
Oh well. Not sure if there is going to be another season but I won’t be surprised if it will. Because it still feels incomplete!!! HAHAHA!!! Despite a few new characters, I guess a few more types and tropes are missing. Like the policewoman. Uh huh. Perhaps too dangerous to put this profession here because she’ll right away arrest us and lock us up in prison. Worse, police brutality as she pulls out her gun and pumps a few lead into our heads!!! Woah! That would be a shocker. But it could be worthwhile. You know, we could die happy after seeing her pantsu? So die!!! And I did a sneak peak to see other kinds of characters not featured yet that they might want to show us their pantsu in future seasons. A baseball player, huh? Strike and home run, baby! An air stewardess too? Mile high club here I cum come! Hot chick in yukata? Tamaya! What’s this Anubis character too?! Bow down before your pharaoh now! Foxy girl? Finally something furry to pet. Wow. There is so much more they should make a whole proper season and compilation out of these pantsu, oops I mean, girls. Well, there’s the illustration and book compilation if you really can’t wait and available online… But if you want to see your favourite ones get animated, that might take a while the pervy producers contemplate whether or not they should make another season out of it.

As usual, this kind of series caters to depraved and perverted people who watched it. Oh yeah, you must be thinking that yours truly is too. I guess that is why we never learn. We come back for more. All the great rapport we as the main character have built up somewhat tossed away in jiffy. All just for a few seconds of the desire for the pantsu. But still, it is mind boggling that these girls would continue to oblige with us. In the real world, they would have slapped us, beat us up, call the authorities, sue us and still not show us their pantsu. Uh huh. They keep their dignity intact and then they call the police to arrest us. Hence it is still mindboggling how they still lift their skirts to let us feel good. Like as though there are no other options to get over this. I mean, this is after all anime and the logic is that it ends like that in every episode. But to really think about it that they would still show their pantsu, are you sure that deep down they don’t harbour some sort of twisted deep love for us? That’s why this unholy obligation? Just saying… For your information, I’m so depraved that I was laughing throughout the twisted pantsu showing logic instead of feeling horny. Honest.

Seriously. Something is really wrong when you have the silent main protagonist (that’s us) being casted as a total pervert maniac. Take for example Chitose’s case. It is already amazing that this maid is still under our employment. She should’ve resigned the last time but for some reasons, she still stayed behind. Anyway, the moment she relented and was okay in showing her pantsu voluntarily, we already had the key to her heart. But instead, we screwed it up by saying the worst thing that a woman would want to hear. Had we gone along with that game even if it’s a lie, we could have had multiple if not unlimited access in seeing her pantsu!!! Anytime we want too! DO YOU NOT THINK THIS IS MUCH BETTER?! Because we’re such a panty crazy lover and desperate to get our short term fix, we had to slip up and say any pantsu on any woman would do for us. That’s it. I’m sorry, but I’d like to slap this master myself. I’m sure many of you would agree too.

There is one complaint of mine that makes this season feel less great than the first. The real pantsu shot only lasts about a second! OMFG!!! THAT’S TOO FAST!!! SLOW DOWN!!! SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!! Because right after they lift their skirt, that one second camera angle shot is then quickly moved up to focus on the girl’s disgusted face. Sure, we could pause that moment and enjoy it as long as we want. But considering that each episode is slightly over 5 minutes and we got a second or two just to see that delicious scene we’ve all been waiting to see, then it is over too soon. After that ‘lengthy drama’ to get to that end scene, that’s not even 1% of the entire running time of the episode. Are they trying to subtly hint that perverted otakus like as cum too quickly???!!! Oh well, we got our desired pantsu, now look at those disgusted face. Oh well, you’ll get used to that appalling face anyway. Roll safe meme: Can’t really see their repulsive face when you’re watching and keeping focused on their pantsu. Hey, also better to see their revolting face than their crying face, right? Works better on our conscious… That’s why we don’t learn :-).

Until the next time, we can dream of more girls in different outfits doing the same thing. Not enough? There’s always the ecchi stuffs around the internet. Even hornier? There’s porn if you know where to look to get your horny fix. For better or worse (most likely the latter), society in this era has reached this stage that it is no longer the question of morally good or bad series. We can argue this is a form of art, but hey, who are we to judge? You like it? Good. You hate it? So be it. As long as men will continue to be fascinated with women’s panties and Japan continuing to exist, I think it is safe to say that we’ll be seeing more of this morally questionable form of entertainment for a long time to come. In the meantime, can we suggest that for the next season of this series that the girls don’t just lift up their skirts? They have to take off their clothes and show us their bra and panties lingerie as a whole set too! OH YEAH!!! Never have we prayed to God so hard for this to come true!!!!! WHY, PERVERTS?! WHY OH WHY???!!!

Agent Aika

November 22, 2019

Yeah… I know what I’m getting into when I decided to go watch this retro OVA series, Agent Aika. Uh huh. Fanservice galore of the 90’s! Who cares about the profession of our titular character who is working as some Salvager to salvage lost items from the ocean’s deep. It’s just one of those excuse why our ladies need to don the swimsuit and parade in them around with their sexy curvaceous body. Who needs a plot when you can gawk and stare at all the cheesy fanservice, tits and ass shots and all because that’s the only thing that you’ll find focusing the most. Oh, there’s a plot? What plot?! Just stare at those asses and you can’t go wrong!

Episode 1
A tour guide has the tourist view the submerged Tokyo city. Also, there are lights beneath this underwater ghost town as Salvagers are working to salvage lost items. Among them is Aika Sumeragi and Rion Aida. As soon as they salvage a suitcase, it is snatched by bitter rivals, Gust Turbulence and B.A. Bandora. He wants Aika to date him if she wants her package. Of course she won’t date this rich playboy. Only an underground explosion stops their tussle. As Rion hands over the suitcase to the client, he will only pay half price since it is damaged. She would have beaten it up had not Gouzo, her boss-cum-father stop her. He tells her about the pride of being a Salvager but as a realist, Rion reminds him it doesn’t pay their bills. A client then calls him and for the umpteenth time, he turns him down on this dangerous mission. It’s not about the money. But Aika snatches the phone and will take up this job! Money > Pride. As they go meet the client, it seems Gust is also hired for this job. They are to retrieve data and/or sample of Lagu. The reward is very handsome. As they leave, they are ambushed by Nena Hagen and her hot chick goons. Of course Aika and Gust fight them off so Nena warns they are also after Lagu and to keep their noses out if they know what’s good for them. Naturally, Aika won’t listen and will still go ahead. Before she leaves, boss talks to her and it is hinted that Aika still feels responsible of putting him out of the game, that’s why she still worked under him. Though, he doesn’t hold any grudge against her. Damn, Aika flying some jet without any gear and can pilot it with her thighs?! Only in the air did she realize Rion snuck on board. You mean she didn’t even notice?! Rion throws a tantrum when Aika wants to turn back and not let her help on this mission. Until Gust zooms past her that Aika just doesn’t care anymore. Do what you wish. Nena and her team are on board some destroyer. Detecting those jets, she has her goons fire missiles. I guess they’re bad at aiming so Nena herself takes to the skies and shoots down Gust. Her brother, Rudolf Hagen has detected they are in the vicinity of Lagu and orders her to come back. As she is stubborn, she continues hunting Aika. I suppose it is Lagu’s weird waves that cause the jets to stop working. Nena ejects and Aika’s plane must be so old it has no eject seat. Nosedive! Hence her weird outfit automatically activates. WTF this weird tentacle rape transformation scene turning Aika into some hot tropical island chick to better pilot and land the jet! Wow. Super. Once on the island, Aika and Hagen’s eyes come into contact. So close…

Episode 2
Nena tries to act tough and beat up Aika but gets her ass handed to her instead. She wanted to get revenge but Hagen takes a liking for Aika and welcomes her on board. He tells his sister to go find Lagu instead. So this sphere thingy is Lagu? Hagen explains to Aika that it has some sort of power that caused that world catastrophe 20 years ago. Earthquakes and volcanoes and the likes. Many cities destroyed. You could say that Japan was one its victims. He then shows Aika a laser beam using Lagu’s power that disintegrates metal into nothing. Though this is just a military toy, he believes Lagu has more potential than this. One of them being restoration of Earth. Hence Lagu is like the vaccine to rid of the infection that is humans. Now that he has Lagu, he couldn’t care less about his military colleagues and wants to move on to his next stage of research. He wants Aika to join him. Uhm, I don’t think the right way to convince a woman to join you is to molest her body! Aika is not interested in anything except Lagu’s data. He gives her some time to think but in the meantime he goes to have incest with Nena?! She is jealous of Aika and wants to kill him but I guess she loves him too much to do that. Meanwhile Gus sneaks in to rescue Aika. Thanks to all the useless goons, he easily incapacitates them. All of them. Yeah, they’re so incompetent that they left ‘unconscious’ Rion alone when their shift is over! So Rion can sneak around in their clothes and eavesdrop some juicy details. Then she stumbles into a strange girl, Maypia Alexymetalia. She might be a spy because she sneaks into some restricted area to take pictures. They are caught by a guard but thanks to the alert being sounded, they use this excuse to ‘return to their post’. During the commotion, Nena is so angry she trashes her room while drunk? So now Hagen is going to have sex with Aika? Sex in exchange for the data?! Yeah, he’s interested in her outfit too that has this rare Ultranate Metal. Sex interrupted when Gus comes in to rescue her. It’s not what you think but thanks to his timing, she manages to steal the data and escape with Gus. Outside, the guards corner her. Drunk Nena wants to take it all out on her. When Gus tries to protect Aika, Aika instead protects him. She got stabbed in the shoulder. This activates her suit and super Aika now tentacle whips everybody! Hagen is amazed seeing all this so he fires some beam at her to neutralize it and revert Aika back to normal. He wants Aika retrieved. You can kill the man.

Episode 3
Amazingly Bandora flies in. You don’t think your puny semi-autos can take it down, huh? Gust takes Aika and escape in the jet. Meanwhile Rion follows Maypia and learns she is some super spy. Yeah, here comes the teasing of how a spy has a business card! Crawling through the ventilation, they arrive at the Lagu reactor that serves as the ship’s main power source. Aika wakes up from this dream of some explosive action with Gouzo. Too dark and blur to make things out but she activated her suit. She realizes Rion is left behind and wants to go rescue her. In that weak condition? Gust relents but after she gets her strength back. And man, that was fast because Bandora is taking them there. Also, Hagen has created some pantsu based on Ultranate and is supposed to be a lot more times powerful. Gee, so fast? He wants Nena to wear them. Since the military threatens to use force to take Lagu from Hagen, I suppose they don’t know what he can do, huh? So Hagen proclaims to his crew that they will soon take off to the skies and use Lagu to purify Earth. He maintains nothing will be destroyed in this operation. But first, take down those pesky military ships. Uh huh. After destroying the main ship, other ships flee. Now you see the power of Lagu? And Maypia is frustrated her higher ups have abandoned her because it’s her mission to destroy this reactor. So as the submarine prepares to turn into a rocket and take off, Maypia opens the hatch so she can escape (you mean main control can’t close it and Nena have to go down herself?). Sorry, Rion. This jetpack is only single seat. But Rion holds onto her until Maypia crashes outside somewhere! Then Rion gets arrested by the hot chicks. At the same time, here comes Bandora’s jet carrying Aika and Gust. I don’t even know how this is possible that the duo drop in despite all the turbulence. Unfortunately Gust is blown away while Aika manages to sneak in before the hatch closes. The rocket takes off and destroys Bandora’s jet but not before she ejects. Good to know that Gust and Maypia are still alive stranded on the island below. Aika is now in but is suddenly strangled by… Pantsu tentacles?! Is this Nena’s Ultranate?! Damn, why does Nena like a discount version of Rutian Twi’lek Jedi Master, Aayla Secura?!

Episode 4
Gouzo manages to convince his employer to lend a shuttle so they can go up and rescue Aika. Hagen explains to Rion about his plan to beam Lagu down and activate earthquakes and destroy civilization. This ship is like Noah’s Ark and has DNA of all other life forms. Yeah, in addition to replenishing other life on this planet, Hagen is going to have his utopia paradise. No wonder all his crew are hot chicks only. Rion will not have a part in his perverted plan and is taken away. Aika manages to distract Nena and run away. Luckily she bumps into Rion but their reunion is short-lived as Nena is back to beat them up. This causes Aika’s Ultranate to activate as she transforms before Rion’s eyes. Aika laments she doesn’t want to see her in this form. However Rion is ecstatic with this transformation. It’s like anime! Then the Ultranate babes slug it out. With Bandora managing to dock onto the rocket, Gust places bombs everywhere while Gouzo has Maypia guide him around the ship. The more Nena gets desperate to defeat Aika, suddenly her Ultranate goes out of control and she starts melting. Ugh. Gross. I suppose no humans are supposed to withstand the fusion with Ultranate, huh? Hagen manages to neutralize Aika and narrates about some research into this Ultranate. It could have been the perfect weapon had not it claimed the lives of many researchers. It is rumoured that Aika is the only survivor but that data was lost during the great disaster. Now that Nena is of no use to him, he wants Aika to work on his behalf. Damn, this guy got the guts to kiss her?! Got too close that the Ultranate stabs him! Just desserts when Nena clings on to him and won’t let him go. Eventually fusing and absorbing him as one. With the Lagu reactor going out of control, you bet the mission is a failure. Don’t want hot chicks to go down with the ship now that their captain is done for, huh? Abandon ship! With our heroes meeting up just in time and escape right before the rocket explodes. Phew. Humanity is saved.

Episode 5
I guess the salvaging business is doing great that Gouzo hired another staff, Shuntaro Michikusa. Also, to appreciate their contribution, Gouzo has them stay at an island resort. Of course on this resort are also ex-Hagen babes (collectively known as Delmo). One of them doing a total makeover as a man. Pierre Valimore bumps into Aika and charms her way into Aika’s heart. Rion is jealous but there is nothing she can do. While Pierre takes Aika out on a date, the other Delmo babes kidnap Rion and Michikusa. Damn, Aika must be an easy woman to end up kissing Pierre! Finally going back to the hotel, Pierre drugs her drunk and brings her back to his room. Unfortunately no naughty time because Aika realizes the other Delmo babes surrounding her. Led by Bianca, they are here for revenge and killing her won’t be enough. They want to humiliate her. Isn’t that too much revelation for a bad guy? Yeah, villain fail 101. And Aika realizes Pierre is a woman, Valerie. First, they toss Rion and Michikusa into the pool to drown them to make Aika in despair. But Aika surprises them and jumps down several levels to save them and also beat up those lowly babes. Nothing like pool water to sober you up, huh? Then some weird chase throughout the resort begins. Aika has her fast rematch with Valerie. Why she gets knocked out so easily? I guess this means she gets to fight Bianca. But the fight too doesn’t last long as sore loser Bianca calls for air support. Uhm, more like armoured tanks being dropped? WTF?! Damn, can armoured tanks run rampant around the resort? I guess one of them being dumb enough for Aika to hijack. Damn they’re blowing up the resort like nobody’s business! And then Aika has a sneaky trick that has Bianca shoot directly at her. Wow. You mean Aika didn’t die from the explosion? So when Bianca gets close and let her guard down, surprise mother*cker! One hard kick to the guts to knock her out. And as soon dawn arrives, Aika and co leave the island. It’s not over yet as those Delmo chicks have yet another operation in hand.

Episode 6
Wow. The enemies talking about the need to gather data on Aika so they can defeat her. A good idea. But I’m worried about the execution… And so we see a couple of Delmo girls in disguise seeking Gouzo’s request for a salvaging mission. They heard Aika is the best in the field and they require her. So it’s off to some cold land, presumably Russia? The modified jet Aika will use for the probe is currently being piloted by a young girl, Rie Petroyikowa. So to see if Aika is fit to the task, Rie does a lot of physical examinations on her including Twister while being taken pictures in sexy compromising positions. Damn, Aika must be a fool to think there isn’t something wrong with this. Rion is so jealous about this but her hunch might be right when she starts pulling the skirt of one of the staffs. This leads to her discovering they are Delmo babes in disguise. Yeah, WTF are they wearing their uniform underneath those clothes?! So when she goes to spill the beans to Aika, cue for Rie to admit everything and also spill the beans they want her data. Villain fail 101 again. Rie now needs data on Aika’s fighting skills so she sets some of the Delmo girls to go fight her. Of course you can tell Aika will easily despatch those goons. They’re so useless that Gouzo despite being drunk and singing karaoke, they can’t even hit him while he hits them back in his drunken stupor! I don’t even think this is drunken fist! More villainy fails when Rie shows some of the recorded intimate moments of probing inside Aika. WTF?! Shoot the screen! Rie fights Aika and claims she has studied her moves. Yeah, didn’t see this choker move coming, huh? Then it boils down to chasing after the data. Yeah, all saved in this precious diskette! Rie runs to the Commander to give the data. Along the way, Aika takes out more Delmo girls until she arrives at the final big boss. So why are they doing this? So now that Hagen is gone, they have no reason to exist and this is so called pride? So they don’t have a life? I just don’t get it… Anyway, more Aika acrobats and high kicks to knock them out. Not even the Commander stand a chance. Oddly, Rie who was fighting her a while ago is now cowering in fear? I guess mission complete when Aika destroys the diskette. As they leave via jet, Rie is not done yet. WTF she brings out this SAM artillery right in the middle of the runway to shoot them????!!! Not sure what Aika did to disable her HUDs and Gouzo shooting some blunt object at her, this knocks her out as she misfires and destroys some other jet. Sleep tight, Rie. And the rest take off back home. What a weird misadventure…

Episode 7
Gouzo talks to Rion about her future. He doesn’t want her to continue this salvaging business but she insists she wants to. Meanwhile Aika is working hard back at the office but suddenly a power outage! Should have saved those 4 hours of work! Of course this isn’t just an accident. Freddy Krueger Delmo babe is trying to kill her! Damn, they really wreck the place. When Gouzo and Rion return, the enemy is just about to escape. WTF Rion standing in the middle of the road?! Gouzo pushes her away and gets run over! OMG! Worse, since when did they plant bombs around the office and boom!!! Entire building collapses! You mean this isn’t anything serious because after the fireman and ambulance, next day no police to cordon off the freaking area???!!! And why are the other buildings unaffected?! Where are all the other people?! So you can’t blame Michikusa for coming to work and suddenly no office. Yeah, Rion sifting through the rubble to find Aika. Only her earring. Damn, this girl wants revenge and drags Michikusa into her scheme. I don’t even know how Gust knows Aika is dead and is crying his heart out. Bumping into Rion, she wants his help in this revenge plan but Bandora says some pretty good advice that she shouldn’t be doing this to make Gouzo sadder (he’s hospitalized, you know). What does Gust have to say? He’ll help Rion in her revenge plan! You’re on your own. Bandora’s out. But where do they start? It seems Michikusa knows a former super spy… Yup. Maypia! How the heck does he know her? I don’t think they’re dating. With Delmo’s base located in some rocky island, our revenge team heads there only to be intercepted. Yeah… Stupid enemies didn’t even make sure they’re dead so nature washes them up nicely on shore as they get their revenge plan going by stealing some weapons and then run havoc throughout the base! Eventually they face off with Bianca and Rie but the duo let them handle Sania and Tonia (that Freddy Krueger girl). All of them got owned. Before they could be killed, cue for Aika in her Ultranate version to the rescue! Yeah, didn’t think she was dead, huh? Besides, she has been running wild too throughout the base. She beats up those Delmo girls and before you could say boss fight with Commander, shockingly she is not going to fight Aika. Heck, she doesn’t want her comrades to be further injured and calls off this operation. It’s about time she realizes that! But oh no! What will they exist for? Who knows… Anyway, everybody agrees to abandon base and never come into contact with Aika again. Gee, that was easy and so anti-climactic. Why must the base self-destruct? In the aftermath, we see our usuals continue to go about their salvaging job. Life goes on.

Special
Sometimes dubbed episode 4.5, this short takes place around the time Gouzo’s company moved into their new building. Aika is moving the boxes and hopes Rion can help but she insists to let the new recruit do it. Well, that guy seems to be busy taking photos with high school girls who think he is hot! Until Rion kicks his ass, a signal for those girls to get the heck out of here! Rion really wants to do a promo video for the company. It’ll bring in the money too. However Michikusa spoils it that they don’t have the capacity to handle it so Rion beats him up. Uhm, did becoming a punching bag is part of his job description? Because as Rion continues to explain how to promo video would look like (fighting terrorists?) and Michikusa commenting how it is so spy-ish, once more she beats him up. Rion continues to dream to be a super agent like Aika. Imagine Rion in skimpy sexy outfit and doing all those kung fu chops. Yeah… When Gouzo returns, Rion bugs dad to do a promotional video. He agrees. Hooray! However… A promo video needs a song. See where this is going? Yup, looks like he just wants to sing. And a duet with Aika! I guess we’re not getting the promo video Rion wants.

Aika R-16: Virgin Mission

10 years later, a prequel spinoff OVA, Aika R-1: Virgin Mission was released with some few changes. But the same ol’ panty and crotch shots remain the same and bountiful.

Episode 1
Aika has gotten her C-licence as a Salvager. Gouzo doesn’t seem pleased on how she got the licence with that skills. So, uhm, feel it with your ass? Since when he is a dirty old pervert? We take a peek at Aika’s school life. Well, despite living in the dorm right across the school, she manages to always come in late. For the 30th day in a row! Hence teacher, Nagisa Risako reprimands her to clean all school windows. Aika later realizes her posters of offering her Salvager services are being torn down by class rep, Eri Shinkai and her goons. Don’t want that kind of cheap service to ruin the class’ reputation, huh? Yeah, they argue till Risako had to remind them they’re already late for class! Is this going on their permanent records? Later Eri brings Aika to her treasure hunting club in which she is a president. I guess rich girls have weird tastes of art, huh? Tempting Aika to pilot some mini sub she likes, so what’s the catch for this mission? I guess everybody gets the wrong idea when Eri starts stripping the top of Karen Minamino. This isn’t a club about starring at boobs! Look closer! At her boobs? No! There’s a butterfly mark on her boobs! Looking even closer, the mark is made out of numbers and based on some deduction Eri did, it leads to an encryption that spells out, “The gate of truth will be opened by the sleeping butterfly” accompanied by coordinates. So we’re assuming there is going to be some treasure here so it’s treasure hunting time.

Taking a cruise ship there, Captain points out a ‘problem’. Gust, the young butler has trouble serving Risako because she’s so sexy at every turn, he has boners all the time. Yeah… Apparently Risako is the advisor for this club so you bet she’s tagging along. Captain discusses with Eri that the coordinates of this location is very dangerous. Something like the Bermuda Triangle. But Eri equates danger with the romance of adventure and loves it. Captain reminds her he has a job as instructed by her father to keep her safe. If it gets too dangerous, they’ll turn back. Later Aika asks Eri how she found out about Karen. So basically she got curious of a lonely girl living alone and stalked her? Meanwhile several girls are being knocked out and hypnotized by Risako. Some of them try to take out Aika and Eri but luckily they manage to dodge the tranquilizers fast enough and Aika knocking them out. So this device in their ass is what’s making them like obeying zombies? Risako has tranquilized Karen and is trying to kidnap her. Captain stalls her before she gets away in her helicopter, enough time for Aika to come rescue Karen. She is shocked that Risako is doing this so sensei tells her today’s lesson that she should be sceptical of other people. Then they just let her get away? I guess she didn’t get Karen so that’s okay? Captain wants Eri to call off this mission but she is excited to carry on. She loves the danger of where this adventure is heading. She threatens to fire him if he abandons this mission. Captain hopes Aika could say something to her but unfortunately, she is hired by Eri. She’s the boss. She calls the shots.

Episode 2
Risako reports back to her boss about her failure. However he isn’t panicking yet because Karen has friends who would also protect her. So I’m guessing there’ll be another chance. Meanwhile… Naked girls baring their ass?! Is this the way to examine the mind controlling device? Karen somehow knows it will disappear within 2-3 days and will leave no mark. It’s just her guts saying. And now for the much awaited beach episode. Sexy young girls in swimsuits having fun while the guys do all the work surveying the ocean floor… I’m okay with this! Soon, one by one the girls start dropping like flies. Looks like Risako is here to cause trouble. Only Aika, Karen and Gust remain conscious. After using Gust as distraction to take out the sniper, Risako despatches her sexy hot babes to fight Aika. She manages to get by with the help of Karen’s lousy golfing. Aika then faces off with Risako who tells her there are some things that should be kept a secret and never revealed. Not that Aika would listen to her anyway. Both ladies fight and Risako has the overwhelming edge. Had not Karen help out with that grilled lobster distraction, Aika wouldn’t have the chance to fight back and land her high kick on her. Risako is tied up and because she won’t talk, Karen shoots her! Oh, just tranquilized her. Karen knows there are transmitters in Risako’s bikini and rips them out. She talks through it and knows who is behind this. It seems Karen knows she doesn’t remember much of her past. She wants to regain her full memories and discover who she really is so that she can take control of her future. Now that it’s time to head to the ocean floor, I guess Eri’s clubmates are still out cold so they can’t go. Yeah, they even took in Risako’s hot babes. So many naked women on this ship! Damn, the guys must be really guy because their resistance game is strong! Anyway, Aika now manages to pilot the mini sub as Eri and Karen join her as they submerge deeper towards the ocean floor.

Episode 3
There are runway airport lights down there? I understand if this is some submerged city but the lights are still working?! Anyway, Karen knows where to go. Just follow the green lights! This leads them to the lowest level. A huge warehouse-like area. Aika tries to be careful but Eri and Karen are like touching and activating things on their own. Gee, the lights and electronics of this place are still working so well? Aika is shocked that Eri knows he way around because all of it was described on Karen’s map. Sure, that doesn’t mean she’s a pro since this is her first time down here! With Aika arguing with her for the details, better catch up with Karen or she’ll leave you behind. Then they talk about some legend about a meteor carrying alien life form crashing onto Earth. The life form implanted themselves into humans and as a result, infected ones became very intellectual but regressed in the physical areas. Arriving at a huge door, they notice the pattern similar as the mind control devices of those girls’ asses. So if you have forgotten that sleeping butterfly key, here it is. Karen lets Eri tranquilize her and once she is undressed, she is placed in a chamber in which the scanner scans her entire naked body. Since it is a perfect match, the door opens. Great. An even bigger place with many pods. Nothing like checking out the convenient computer next to it. So I guess this is where that alien life form comes into the picture. They discover clone cells and that this place is researching those intellectual alien cells in hopes of cultivating them so that humans could be able to develop. Hooray! Your discovery of the century! Then they gets spooked when Karen suddenly pops up before them. Not just 1 Karen but many Karens! Yeah, they’re all clones. I suppose they’re not the friendly kind as they start attacking. Aika goes into action knocking them out. Finally a really huge Karen! Titan Karen?! I don’t think it is affective trying to fight it but at least something has to be done. Aika gets knocked out and before she could be squished, the real Karen wakes up and ‘communicates’ with it. With the clones backing down, Karen learns the shocking truth that she is also a clone and ‘born’ here. I guess there’s nothing left to discover and it’s time to head back home. After they leave, the clones return to their slumber. Finally all the runway lights are turned off. Back on the ship, Karen is sad that her memories weren’t real. Aika and Eri cheer her up that they can make new memories together. Lots of them.

Aika Zero

Episode 1
We see a girl stumbling upon an alien ship underground. Then she gets tentacle raped! Tentacles in the form of light beams?! A year later, we see a group of girls being ushered into a chapel and then being groped by girls in white. Is this chapel just a façade for some lesbian club? After liking their boobs, thighs and asses, that tentacle beam then infiltrates their asses!!! I can see why nobody can stay awake after that. Then they hear a plane hovering over. It is Aika piloting it but something hit her. Luckily she manages to land without any trouble. That dent on the body, I suppose a bird can’t make that, right? Meanwhile the army tasks some officer (Hagen?!) to investigate some UFO hitting a civilian plane. Aika is reunited with Eri, Karen and Risako. It seems Eri has once more hired Aika for another case. This time the case of disappearing high school girls. It started a year ago and it has claimed its 30th victim. Although the girls are returned, they lose their memories. Part of the plan is for Aika to wear their uniform and infiltrate. Upon entering, those girls in white start their usual lesbian stuff. Aika runs away but not before she drops that eraser that serves as a mini surveillance bug. However soon after, it stops functioning. Don’t tell me Aika has to go back and get molested again?! We’ll think of something… As Aika and Karen walk by, a group of drama girls suddenly attack them. Nothing like a few good chops to put them out, eh? And then entering the chapel again, the girls in white attack but still no match for Aika. If you’re wondering why Karen has been examining their asses, oh look, here’s a strange mark! It seems all the girls have this mark near their ass. Even more so those in white. They are White Knights, supposedly the student council body. Aika goes deeper into the chapel to find the missing girls all hanging upside down! Is this some sort of exhibition? She comes face to face with the student council president and ring leader, Miyu Shiratori. This time Aika can’t defeat her tentacle beams and is in danger of being raped too but luckily Captain snipes! So those aren’t lights? In great timing, Risako jumps in and rescues Aika. Then she throws the eraser thingy which also has a mini self-destruct mode to distract Miyu. Best coordination ever as Risako jumps out and hangs on the helicopter piloted by Gouzo.

Episode 2
Aika wakes up fine in hospital. No serious physical damage. But maybe internally because she isn’t going to sleep and wakes up and strips! In the presence of Gouzo?! I guess to show that she’s still kicking. WTF?! Flashback shows Miyu first stumbled upon that light in the library that soon led her to that underground ship. After she got controlled, she started toppling top students in athletics and academics. Then she gathered them and a few more students to form the White Knights as the student council. It seems Miyu is doing this all for the real mastermind behind this, E.T.A.I. Sure they didn’t misspell H.E.N.T.A.I.? Anyway that ass sucking thingy is so that E.T.A.I. can suck whatever nutrients for whatever. Because the military is also in this, damn they prop up Aika’s plane with machine gun?! They also lend a few cool equipment?! What kind of military is this?! As Aika takes the plane for a spin, then something hits her. Luckily she manages to control and emergency land at a broken road near the cliff! Phew. So precise. At the same time, Karen infiltrates the chapel but it seems everything has been moved out clean. Yup, even Captain’s sniper marks are gone. Of course the next logic is to check if there is any underground passages. Meanwhile the tentacle beam is now targeting naked girls in the shower. Yup, there’s a hole that leads to their base and Aika just in the nick of time saw the last girl being dragged down this hidden hole. Time to get to the bottom of this. So she brought a sub-machine gun as her only preparation? Whatever. Of course she is being attacked by White Knights but nothing like a few kung fu chops would knock them out. Meanwhile Karen is also attacked by a White Knight but luckily Risako is here to assist. After despatching her, they then discover the secret passageway underground. Aika stumbles upon the huge alien ship. But first she has to tackle Miyu and her subordinates. Unfortunately E.T.A.I. got her from behind. And surprise butt secks!!!!!

Episode 3
Oh! Aika can resist the behind infiltration?! What’s this about her being Zero? Hence E.T.A.I. enforces a more direct infiltration! This is going to hurt! But wait! It backfires! It burns her tentacles! I guess they’re not messing with her anymore. Letting the goons handle her, Miyu and E.T.A.I. go to start up the mother ship. So it has enough juice now? E.T.A.I. explains about Aika being Zero. A similar extra-terrestrial organism like them but it is not their ally but enemy because of its twisted evolution. Whatever. After despatching the subordinates, Aika meets up with Karen’s side. How to get this door open? Use the ass! Is that what the mark is for?! They see all the unconscious kidnapped girls. Mission over once they’re rescued, right? Well, not if the ship is starting to launch right now! As Aika makes haste to the surface, she is stopped by Miyu and E.T.A.I. She fights them and this ridiculous part, when Miyu fires a beam at her, Aika grabs and throws it back to her. However E.T.A.I. protects Miyu and gets the returned beam struck right into her ass!!!! THIS GOTTA HURT LIKE HELL!!!! I don’t know if E.T.A.I. is dead but Aika is now free to ride her plane (all readied by Gouzo) to take to the skies and stop the mother ship. She empties her bullets on a single thruster and this is enough to make it change its trajectory???!!! Better still, F-15 reinforcements are here. About 20 of them!!! Fire away!!! Wow. Gotta be dumbfounded how human missile technology could really take down an entire huge spaceship!!! Oh no! Is it going to crash onto the school below?! Don’t worry. It explodes in the air. Phew. And to complete the good news, Aika returns to her gang waiting down below. Meanwhile Nena who is a student at this academy, secures Miyu and E.T.A.I. She reports to her brother who has also finished his successful military operation.

God Bless Dat Masses Of Asses!
Oh well, what a mess. But did you enjoy all that? Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks to all the fanservice, I guess that is why the OVAs are decent. Oh wait. Is that supposed to be indecent? But it makes viewing tolerable in otherwise would be an utterly boring story that doesn’t make sense and characters whom you’ll never care. Thank goodness for the fanservice, huh? Yeah. Aika and co might have somewhat saved the world but the fanservice saved our viewing! It was all worth it…

So yeah, despite the overwhelming fanservice that this series is pretty (in)famous for, sometimes you wonder if they are really overdoing it. I mean, really, really, really, overdoing it. Ass shots and crotch shots make up predominantly the fanservice of this series. It is like for everything these characters do, they usually end up in a way that bares their ass or crotch in our faces. So much so that it is ridiculous to see that whenever a female enemy gets knocked out (which is pretty much easy to do), they don’t usually fall flat on their back or stomach but will get knocked out with their knees upright so that their ass can be so obviously visible. And if they don’t get this treatment but get knocked out cold on their backs or stomach, they’re spreading their thighs as wide as they can so you could see better the delicious parts. Basically almost everything and anything the characters do is to justify the means of fanservice. Is this what you call the means justifying the ends? That is why all the females need to do their high kicks or kung fu kicks whenever they get into a fight. That is why all the girls need to wear mini skirts so short that they’re not wearing any of them at all! It seems in this universe, mini skirts are the only normal clothes that these girls can wear for all occasions. Even more mind boggling when unconscious girls who are rescued instead of putting them lie flat on their back, they are put on their stomachs on something like as though they are futons being hung out to dry! The ultimate ass display! Like, WTF?!

And somehow even though we get all those delicious ass shots and crotch shots, nothing says great uniformity when all the characters wear the same plain white panties!!! Sure, sometimes a few characters wear different lingerie like Nena who feels like a porn star in waiting when she first debut. My guess is that having plain white pantsu is easier to animate and think about how much work the animators will have to do just so that we could have different colours and design! But I’m sure they could because the power of boners would give them the motivation. But that would be another unrelated story. So I guess we have to be grateful. We got our fanservice wish. Spammed a whole lot of them. Included certain scenes of characters with bare tits. Don’t be a spoilt brat and wish for more. Don’t be that jerk who gets an inch but wants a mile.

Having said all that, the story is secondary and at most so mediocre that it doesn’t make sense. There are also so many gaps, holes and parts that are unexplained that sometimes maybe the producers want us to fill in the blanks ourselves. This is mostly in the newer Aika where some issues were never resolved like Karen and her clones. So why is that underwater base still running those clones? What about that mysterious employer who is trying to stop Karen? Never explained anywhere in the series but my guess is that he is the scientist who did the cloning based on the image of his deceased daughter or something. So Karen is then allowed to live freely? I guess with Risako and Captain watching, no biggies.

Then in Aika Zero, why does the alien ship need the nutrients of sexy young high school girls to fuel it? I believe it is never explained and even if it was, I guess we were paying attention to the fanservice more than anything else. But I’m pretty sure all this wasn’t explained at all. And how the f*ck did a freaking huge alien mother ship crashed beneath a school?! Without any traces whatsoever! Don’t tell me it was aeons ago and because high school girls weren’t invented yet, I guess they had to wait till today to suck out their sexiness. Told you the stories and conspiracy theories are dumb. Told you that you’d be better off focusing on the fanservice.

The original Aika’s story wasn’t as mind boggling as the newer one but even though it is simple, it is still cheesy. Because it never explained about that Ultranate thingy that possessed Aika or how she got her hands on it. But considering how it is hinted in Aika Zero that Aika could be an alien life form herself, that could be the link but still, that is just superficial and nothing conclusive. I guess many shows from the past needs us to use our grey matter to think rather than nowadays to be spoon fed and told just about everything. Sighs…

Character wise, there’s nothing much to be said except I thought the newer Aika was supposed to be a reboot or something but after finishing watching this series and doing a little read up, I only found out that they are actually the same Aika and not different alternate timelines. Which feels pretty odd because it felt like it missed out that great disaster thingy that supposedly Aika and Gouzo caught up in. But that could be somewhere in between the 10 year span of Aika’s character. Anyway, both Aika feel like totally different characters with the older Aika feeling somewhat mellow, cool and quite the grown up she is unlike the high school and university teen version who is so, uhm, like a teenager. It’s mind boggling to see who Aika transition to that kind of character. I guess all the dangerous missions has made her wise, huh? No wonder she is the best agent around then.

This strange continuity also affects this Gust character because if he was such a rich playboy in the original Aika, then why the f*ck was he some sort of butler serving Eri’s classmates in the newer Aika? I mean, even if he is a rich kid trying to get some experience, doing this kind of job? This boy? Just totally weird. He is supposed to be the hero hunk for adult Aika but I guess he didn’t do anything much. I guess that’s why as a butler kid he serves as a mini comic relief in some ways.

Then you have Rion and Eri as the overly excited characters because passion drives them. If Aika is too serious, then I suppose these jokers will do. Karen is the weird girl of the series because she does unconventional things that makes you question why she does so but she does have her logic. I mean, like she’s not a pervert when she’s checking those asses out, right?! Many of the other characters are just forgettable like Maypia you wonder why she is in this series in the first place and her character is a whole lot unnecessary except to serve as plot convenience. Yeah, she’s a super spy but that doesn’t mean she’s a good one. Then you have Michikusa who sounds like a retard with his slow talk and he becomes Rion’s punching bag whenever she doesn’t like his truthful and honest comments. Also, they need some sort of gay character because this guy likes to dress up as girls especially when they infiltrate Delmo’s base, he doesn’t hesitate to put on their uniform and even ask if he looks good in them. Sheesh.

And the antagonists are also big fails. Just because they are the bad guys, they are doomed to follow the script to lose. Like Hagen and Nena in the original Aika, their goal to destroy humanity could have been written and fleshed out better but instead Hagen looks like some girly playboy who wants a harem in his aftermath utopia. Because of his great girly looks that’s why there is a mind boggling amount of ladies who have no qualms working under him. I wonder if he has a no male policy too. And Nena turned into one jealous b*tch who is just out for Aika’s blood just because she got Hagen’s heart. And she can’t kill her onii-sama because he loves him too much so the only thing she can do is take it out on Aika. Which she always fails. Good riddance the siblings are forever together now, huh? Literally.

And the Delmo girls literally have no life after Hagen’s death and it’s like they blame it all on Aika. Uh huh. Their only purpose is to serve Hagen and if you think about it, what happens if they do actually succeed in killing Aika? Are they going to kill themselves? Yeah, didn’t think that far, huh? See, they’re doing just fine after getting their ass kicked so many times and Commander just gave them a simple withdrawal order. SO EASY! If I was one of the Delmo girls, I would be wondering what the heck the suffering we all just went through and would’ve now targeted her and kicked her ass! Ironically they have the best facilities all over and yet they fail to capitalize them… And yeah, this reminds me of how old I am and how much times have changed: The diskette!!! Oh yeah, that was really the thing that would have broken Aika. But thankfully no internet yet. Phew!

And it goes without saying in the newer Aika, Miyu and E.T.A.I. continue to fail as baddies. Somebody just thought that zapping beams to control the spinal cord would be sexy if done via the ass. And only girls with hot bodies will do as fuel. Yeah, do you not notice there are no fat and ugly girls at this school? And they would have gotten with it if not for that meddling Aika! Thankfully their fates are not left in limbo because in the credits we see them working under Hagen and Nena. But since they didn’t appear in the original, your guess is as good as mine what actually happened to them. I also wonder if all the alien ass zapping moments on those innocent girls is what drove Hagen to have an all-female crew. Sure, he didn’t see those rape moments but I’m guessing from the interrogation that he must have found out something of this likes.

The action bits are totally dumbfounding and like I’ve said before, they are just steps to provide the much needed fanservice. I know it is good that fights don’t last and span several episodes but it makes you wonder if these girls who are supposed to be trained in the first place are really trained. Because one good chop to the back of the neck is usually how Aika finishes them off and they’ll be out for a long time. And all those flash kicks are just for show, huh? And I swear that gravity and the law of physics don’t truly exist here. Our girls can jump so high and with ease doing their somersaults like as though gravity is in cohorts with the fanservice god so that they could show their pantsu. You also don’t have to worry about the girls using guns. They’re mostly tranquilizers. Don’t want to damage the nice skin, eh? Yeah, this is also how a lot of the girls are being taken out.

Art and animation feel pretty okay. At least the difference in animation style shows the gap and era of when both the series was made. Original Aika was so retro that it’s, uhm, so retro. And the newer Aika is so 2000’s that it’s so, uhm, 2000’s. Sure, some characters do undergo a different look especially I noticed Hagen looking very different in both series. Sort of. Because in the newer Aika, Hagen spots this bishonen look. Then if you look back at the original Aika, damn this guy has a girly face!!! WTF?! What happened?! Then Bandora… I don’t know if this person is actually a combination of a man, woman and cyborg. Punk Mohawk hairstyle surely makes me think he is a guy but she sounds a lot like an old woman. And those visors made me think she is some cybernetic enhancement or something. I thought the newer Aika was made by a different studio but apparently it is also the same studio who made the original one, Studio Fantasia (Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien, Stratos 4, Soukou No Strain). Wow, talk about a change in art and animation style in just a decade.

I wasn’t going to bother doing the voice acting but I guess I have to because MAMIKO NOTO IS THE VOICE OF KAREN!!! In a time when I am still reeling from her characters that have been killed off, in a time when my favourite and best seiyuu has been relegated to make cameo appearances or take on motherly roles, this is somewhat a great relief to get to hear her voicing a character that fits her voice type so perfectly. The other seiyuus I recognized are Ami Koshimizu as the newer Aika and Miyuki Sawashiro as E.T.A.I. And I didn’t realize it was Yuko Goto behind Miyu’s voice and I believe at that time she didn’t sounded like her trademark Asahina from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu that perhaps got me stereotyped her voice as that dreamy ghost-like voice. Yeah… Also, I thought Rie sounded familiar. Couldn’t put my finger on it till I finished watching this show. Ikue Ohtani voiced her. You don’t know who that is? Pika! Pika! Chopper!!! Yup, that’s her. It’s so shocking to hear her other than a yellow electric mouse and a reindeer tanuki.

First opening theme is the rock based Silent City by Mari Sasaki with More Natural by Hiroko Konishi as the disco-like ending theme. Then we also have another retro rock style Manatsu No Seiza by Mink as the second opener while Dance With Me Tonight by Punky Fruites as the second one. Personally I like Dance With Me Tonight since it has that funky disco beat and it sure brings back some 70’s music nostalgia. For the newer Aika, Ami Koshimizu sings all the themes. With the spy-like Sailing To The Future as the opener for Virgin Mission and anime rock Flying Kid for Aika Zero. More rock based music as Rise and Dream Hunter are their ending themes respectively.

I want to believe that perhaps it is because of the lacking story and shallow characters the reason why this never got adapted 10 years later. The original Aika made its debut in 1997 before a full 10 years passed then we got an updated Aika that probably nobody asked for. Hence people then might have wised up and wanted something more than just crotch shots and ass shots and their tastes ‘refined’ into better hentai and fapping material. But I digress. We’re just primitives when it comes to such carnal desires. It’s just natural. It’s just in our genes.

All in all, don’t hope much if you want to watch this series. After all, the reason that one may stumble upon this old series is because you’re feeling a bit naughty but not horny enough to go watch real porn! This series is as silly and shallow as one would have imagined but it’s all worthwhile because the story and characters that could have been better written were sacrificed for all the fanservice of ass shots and crotch shots. Well, you can’t have everything. So I hope no Japanese director sees this blog of mine and realize the idea of the need to reboot Aika! Gee, will Aika get younger in the next instalment? Sorry, not a lolicon! Just stick to the basic formula and you can’t go wrong. Boy, you wished Lagu would cleanse the world of perversion right now, no?

Remember that silly Cinderella plot hole whereby Cinderella lost her glass slippers and the only way the prince could find her was to call every woman in town to fit them? Like yeah, not only did he assume Cinderella had that only small feet to fit into them, that bastard couldn’t even remember her damn face! And he was dancing with her all night long! WTF, dude???!!! Anyway, Kawaikereba Hentai Demo Suki Ni Natte Kuremasu Ka (or HenSuki if that is a mouthful for you to pronounce and remember) isn’t really that Cinderella spoof or spinoff. Main character dreams of having a girlfriend. Heh, which guy wouldn’t? And then dream come true because his future girlfriend left him not only an anonymous letter but her panties as well! Oh sh*t! This girl also thirsty as f*ck? But the ‘Cinderella’ problem now for this guy is that based on the pool of suspects in his potential harem, he definitely can’t go up and ask each one of them to try the panties out, CAN HE???!!! Good luck trying to solve this mystery without looking much like a pervert. And he isn’t the only pervert he’ll stumble upon during this quest…

Episode 1
Keiki Kiryuu is your typical high school kid. Single and wants a girlfriend. This guy who is part of the shodo (calligraphy) club that consists of females and him as the only guy? Oh my. I can see where this is going. After he cleans up the clubroom, there is a love letter left for him. It is not signed and furthermore, a pair of panties is left with the letter! Has spring finally come for him? Unsure, he confides in his best friend, Shouma Akiyama. It can’t be a prank at their age and the logical answer is that his Cinderella could be one from his shodo club. Could it be the beautiful and busty president, Sayuki Tokihara? Or the cute and honest junior, Yuika Koga? Perhaps the friendly Mao Nanjou? Maybe his own little sister, Mizuha? Who knows? So Keiki tries to indirectly ask Sayuki and Yuika but they leave him hanging with no concrete evidence. He can’t concentrate that he gets knocked out during a basketball game. He wakes up in the infirmary with Mao by his side. She too is giving mixed signals but nothing conclusive. On the way home, Keiki helps Sayuki return a lost dog to its owner and realizes she likes dogs a lot. After having him pet her head, she pecks him on the cheek for always being kind to her. With this hint, Keiki thinks of getting more out of her. So on a ‘date’ after answering her question that he is glad to join this club, maybe he is a bit too direct asking if she has special emotions towards him. Because now she runs away and subsequently she avoids him like a plague. Is she his Cinderella? With Mao’s suggestion to do a wall slam to stop her, he does so (making it almost look like a rape scene). He claims he knows her secret. To put it generally. Doesn’t everyone have secrets? She starts acting sheepishly. Since he knows about it and doesn’t hate her for it, she wants him to come to the clubroom after school. He does so and Sayuki is there waiting for him. She is glad he is someone who accepts her for who she is. She has him close his eyes while she prepares. What does he see? Sayuki stripped her top and wearing a collar?! WTF?! She wants him to be her pet!!! Woof! You mean this b*tch… Oops!

Episode 2
In short, Sayuki is a super masochist pervert! She wants to be scolded by him as a pet! No way, Jose! Later when the teacher tells Keiki that he forgot to lock the clubroom, that is when he realizes his Cinderella could be anybody than his club members. He did leave the room for a while during cleaning. Cinderella must have snuck in to place the letter. He returned and finished up while she hid. After he left and locked the door, she unlocked it from inside and escaped. Talking to Shouma about this, it seems Keiki still can’t pinpoint Sayuki as his Cinderella. But asking about pet fetish, Shouma thinks it’s his new fetish but won’t laugh since Shouma is a lolicon! At the library, Sayuki tries to seduce him, making him uncomfortable. She really wants to be punished, huh? This sets a showdown with Yuika. Eventually Sayuki says they went on a date and I don’t think Yuika is mad because Keiki thinks she too wanted to be treated to a parfait like they had on their date. Damn Keiki, now I see why you no have girlfriend… So to make up for this, Keiki has got to date Yuika now? Whatever. A typical date at the movies and the likes. When Yuika excuses herself to the toilet and is taking too long, Keiki then realizes several men try to hit on her. You mean they kept talking while she just ignored them and stood there? And they’re like giving up after Keiki says she’s with him? Damn those guys are clueless too. Keiki blames himself for not being sensitive enough so Yuika thanks him by pecking his forehead for saving her. Later he finds out she is racially mixed and hence her beauty makes it hard for others to approach her. That’s why she was always alone. Keiki being the dense dude, always kept staring at her while she reads and even admitted she is beautiful despite she didn’t like it. But as he always strike up a conversation, eventually she opens up to him. And now Yuika wants to meet up to tell him a big secret. Is this his Cinderella revealing moment? Well… Turns out Yuika wants Keiki to be her slave! Say what? She thinks guys love being slaves to cute girls and this should be an honour for him. She is willing to give him her freshly worn panties if he does so. Since he disagrees, she punishes him by stuffing her panties in his mouth! It didn’t kill him but he is out cold. Yeah, this dominance just gives Yuika the orgasm and thrill.

Episode 3
Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because now Keiki finds Yuika’s bra in his shoe locker! It’s the only way to get his attention since he is avoiding her. So meeting up with her, she reads him a story about a shy princess who turns out to be some S&M sadist. So she isn’t giving up on him being her slave, huh? And she’ll train him till being her slave becomes his only joy. Well, Keiki… RUN!!! Out of the fire and into… More fire! Because this time there is a scandalous picture of Keiki sleeping with Sayuki! And a threat to release this online! Better go see what this b*tch is up to. Oh. Maid outfit. I approve! What do you mean you don’t want to be her goshuujin-sama???!!! Anyway the keys to her handcuffs are stuck in her cleavage. Better get it out quick as she needs to go to the toilet… After doing so, Sayuki continues to be flirty with him. She allows him to do anything to her but as Keiki deliberates with his devilish and angelic side, the force of being a virgin is still strong. He rejects her because there needs to be love in all this! Hanging with Shouma, any updates about the Cinderella potential? Well, if Sayuki and Yuika are out, that leaves Mao. Shouma points out that she sometimes steal glances of him. Later, Yuika tricks Keiki that she is naked and he must close his eyes while she leads him to the room where her clothes are. Obviously a trap as he realizes too late she has tied him up. Now she wants him to kiss her foot and pledge his allegiance to her or she’ll steal his first kiss on the lips. Luckily Sayuki enters the room. How did she find him? Stalking Keiki is her specialty. Say what?! Both girls argue and it dawned to Keiki that both of them know each other’s fetish. Yeah, since the first time they met. As they struggle over Keiki as their possession, Mao is the one who comes to rescue him. Conveniently the rope has a mind of its own because it somehow ties up Sayuki and Yuika. So why is Mao admonishing Keiki? Was it his fault? She blames him of being drawn to Sayuki’s boobs and Yuika’s pampering. So what are you trying to say, girl? Mao doesn’t want him to be with other girls because she doesn’t like it.

Episode 4
Yuika somewhat apologizes to Keiki about that shameless fight over him. She hopes he would patch things up with Mao. Why is this slave driver so generous? That’s because it’s all part of using sticks and carrots. Sayuki also has the same feeling. Apologizing for yesterday’s public lewdness, she also wants Keiki and Mao to become friends again. Otherwise she can’t claim to be an obedient dog if she destroys his friendships. And what’s this about attacking him in private instead of in public? I don’t think she’s joking… Keiki goes to talk to Mao. She wants to hang out with Shouma like the 3 of them used to. At the arcade, Keiki slips and Shouma catches him, turning this into a highly suggestive BL scene. We see Mao can’t stop taking pics of them. On the way home, Mao asks him about his thoughts about getting in a relationship. This leads to an argument whereby she accuses him of being a pervert, thinking he likes girls fighting over him. Noticing she is looking at a picture of Shouma, he asks if she likes him. She denies everything and runs away. Keiki is in a dilemma that he talks to Mizuha about this. While she doesn’t want him to force Mao to talk if she doesn’t want to, he still wants to know about her despite feeling bad for prodding too much. So the next day he confronts her to talk again. This time she blames him for everything. She cannot sleep well because he is always on her mind. She can’t stop thinking of him. He apologizes for everything and hopes to do anything to make it up to her so they could become friends again. Anything? This is where the sucker punch comes in. So when she asks about him dating, well… What she meant was him dating Shouma! Say what?! Long story short, Mao is a fujoshi! BL fanatic! You can tell her change of character when she dons a pair of glasses. Hell, she even has a yaoi series of them! Shortcakes series! That’s Shouma x Keiki if you haven’t guessed it. Everything that seems to be bugging Mao, everything and I mean everything leads back to some BL connotation. Keiki doesn’t oppose he fetish but can she stop basing her works on them? No can do. She has fans waiting for the next story! Since Keiki won’t be gay, Mao vows to do anything to thwart every attempt at romance he makes towards females. It would be bad if her inspiration source ends up with a girl, right? Just when Keiki thought all his Cinderella candidates are out, he now finds another unnamed letter in his shoe box. Well, looks more like blackmail because it’s a pic of him in a compromising position with maid Sayuki! The nightmare has not ended…

Episode 5
There is also a letter that says to come to the astronomy club or else. But we now skip and see him in shodo club. Yuika dressed as a bunny girl, hopping around and serving everybody? Not sure if this is part of her training to make Keiki obedient to her but Yuika wants to officially join the club (so she can spend more time with Keiki) so Sayuki made her do this. What a way to humiliate your rival. It’s going to get worse when masochistic boobs monster has a showdown with sadistic boobless monster. But why is also Mao here? Yeah, she too wants to officially join the club. But why no bunny outfit? She promised to give all latest Shortcake series to Sayuki. Yup, she’s a big fan. Sayuki even introduces it to Yuika. Ah, that first time when you’re so embarrassed but hooked on it. Friendship from BL… So beautiful… With that, the shodo club is now a den of perverts. Flashback when Keiki went to the astronomy club. This petite girl, Koharu Ootori claims she is in love and doesn’t know what to do and resorted to blackmailing. Keiki jumped the gun that she is his Cinderella and quickly proposed to her. Of course she rejected. Then the big revelation: She is actually in love with Shouma! See all those pictures of him on the wall? In short, Koharu wants him to be her cupid to Shouma since this is a one-sided crush. So that’s where this blackmail comes in… We know Shouma is a lolicon so why is it so hard? You see, Koharu is actually their senior! So legal loli is not Shouma’s taste? With his dignity in line, hence Keiki agrees to be her cupid. With summer coming up and the school changing to its summer uniform, this gives Keiki an idea. He manages to have Shouma and Koharu meet. He has Koharu wear Mizuha’s uniform to make it look like she is a junior. The hoodie is also to hide other aspects that would blow her cover as a senior. Shouma takes the bait and is ecstatic. They even exchange contacts and take a commemorative photo. In exchange for Keiki’s help, Koharu listens to his Cinderella problem and offers to help. Her theory means everyone in school is a suspect but it won’t be possible to do a Cinderella test. You know, the prince having a glass slipper test. Can’t expect Keiki to have everyone test wear the panties, can he?! As he ponders, the meek student council vice president, Ayano Fujimoto falls down the stairs. He catches her but she is on top of him. Okay, time to get off. But she won’t. She wants to stay like this a little longer! She wants to be with him! Are my ears deceiving me? Can she be the real Cinderella this time?

Episode 6
To repay Keiki for what he did, Ayano made him cookies. Delicious. Then she really sits close to him and of course this freaks out Keiki. Throwing him off is Ayano giving him a goodbye hug. Of course, expert stalker Koharu has done her investigations on her and she seems like a decent and polite girl. She could be his Cinderella as she often makes audit checks to the clubrooms and the teacher confirmed it was her on that day when that mysterious Cinderella left her pantsu. Keiki will continue the investigation himself. Not sure why he returns to the shodo club but Yuika is waiting there. She traps him of course and wants to him to take responsibility for massaging her boobs. Since when?! In her dreams! Women… As usual, he won’t be her slave so she tries to massage his boobs back? Woman logic… In the struggle, he accidentally touches her boobs and now she freaks out and runs away. Women… Ayano seeks Keiki’s help to volunteer to clean up trash at the riverside. Sayuki somewhat tags along and tries to assert Keiki is her belonging. However she stops short of saying they are dating because their relationship is much deeper than that. Hence Ayano holds his arm close and even lets her boobs touch his arms. Not dating, right? Later Sayuki pulls Keiki aside to lick him. This is what dogs do to claim their territory, right? Knowing grabbing her boobs will only ignite her perversion, Keiki remembers what grandpa said. So he fondles her butt! Did it work? She loves it even more! So satisfied that she’ll let him go today. At the end of the clean-up, Keiki picks up a porn mag. Ayano tries to let him but falls into the river. He lends his jersey to cover up. Next day, he is invited to her office. Hmm… Great atmosphere. Right temperature, nice soft music, calming tea and apple pie to boot. This is really great if this is all part of repaying her debt. Then she sits close to him and dozes off. Keiki really feels good about it. Could she be the Cinderella he has been waiting for? Then he dozes off. When he wakes up… WTF Ayano trying to take off his pants???!!! Since it has come to this she admits she has smell fetish. She likes the smell of boys and currently she likes his. It all started because he caught her. The smell of destiny. Yeah, the smell of trouble… Hence this setup was to make him sleep so she could take his undies. Her miscalculation was that she fell asleep too. She thanks him for the nice jersey and wants his underwear. More revelation that her auditing was actually to find sweaty clothes and equipment. So can she have your underwear? No!

Episode 7
In order to cement Koharu’s relationship with Shouma, Keiki suggests a double date. So which girl should he bring? Based on the process of elimination, I guess you could say that Sayuki is the lesser between the devils. At the bowling centre, Sayuki suggests a penalty game. The last person gets doodled on the face while the third placed person will do whatever the winner says. Isn’t that worst? Isn’t Sayuki rigging this? But we see Koharu an absolute bowl master and she even teaches Souma on the finer bowling points. In the end, Koharu wins, Keiki is second followed by Shouma and finally Sayuki dead last. Too bad Sayuki, today’s not your day. Koharu’s command for Shouma is to call him by his first name and you can tell he is damn happy with this. In the aftermath, Koharu and Keiki talk together. She is grateful to Keiki’s help but she knows she cannot rely on him forever. Hence she will tell the truth to Shouma. As for that photo, she already deleted long time ago and believed Keiki to be a trustworthy person. He is after all Shouma’s friend. So Koharu has Shouma walk her home. They pass by a spot where they first met a year ago. She got her straw hat stuck in the tree and he picked it for her. It was love at first sight for her and ever since she wanted to get closer to him. So when she reveals her true identity, the shock on Shouma’s face. He rejects her as he reveals his lolicon nature. Keiki then talks to Shouma about everyone has a right to love anybody but to reject someone who is just older? He is sure a piece of work. Shouma also feels bad for rejecting her. He was also starting to like Koharu when he first helped her but never realized it was her because her hair was shorter then and by that time she already became his stalker. Koharu must have bawled a lot of tears. Now Keiki goes to talk to her and before they go badmouth about lolicons, here comes Shouma trying to make things up. He’d like for them to start off as friends. But Koharu instantly rejects him and snaps about this non-committal relationship and yet he wants to keep her as reserve? GTFO! Shouma is devastated but this is her way of getting back at him for dumping her as a lolicon. Gotcha! Now they’re even and just when things are looking fine, Shouma switches on the lights in this dark room and sees all the creepy photos she has taken of him for the past year. I hope he isn’t going to go back on his words…

Episode 8
Keiki has lots on his mind about Cinderella so much so he accidentally walks in while Mizuha is changing. Is it because they’re family that the cliché moment of the girl screaming and beating up the boy didn’t happen? Later as they talk, she even asks his opinion about her panty colour and he nonchalantly replies it suits her. Knowing something is on his mind she offers to hear him out. So he asks what if he wants a girl to be his pet or become a girl’s slave or interested in underwear. All her answers are the same: Call the police! Even if he wants to fall in love?! Just kidding. She’ll support him if that happens. Soon Sayuki visits. Again, she bugs him to be her master. No way. In that case, blackmail time. Unless he does so, she’ll reveal the Shortcake series to Mizuha! Oh well, I guess petting her head and belly isn’t anything wrong. Until she pushes his face into her boobs. Do pets do that? Then Mizuha comes in. Oh dear. Emergency family meeting! I guess this will be hard to convince her who the real pervert is. As Sayuki leaves, Keiki asks if he anybody else would be suitable to be her master. Her reply is that even masochists have their own pride. Shortly, Yuika visits. Oh no. Please be my slave? No? Shortcake series blackmail. And so he is forced to dress in this Playboy bunny outfit and because she loves his face when he cannot reply if he hates her now, she gives him her panties. She trips and falls over him. Then Mizuha walks in. Oops. Emergency family meeting round 2! This is going to be harder. Shortly, it’s Mao’s turn to call. She wants him to moan sexily as she is having a writer’s block drawing that gay sh*t. Learning that she knows Sayuki and Yuika were there, I guess this was all part of the setup. Mao would love to be there but she has a deadline to beat. Then she hints something about him having a girlfriend in middle school before hanging up. Finally another talk with Mizuha. Despite calling him a pervert, she knows he loves his sister too much. Is there anything perverted in loving a sister? When Keiki returns to his room, Cinderella’s panties are missing! Gasp! Emergency meeting with Shouma and Koharu. This could only mean Cinderella never intended to leave her panties in the first place but at least he has narrowed down the suspects to Sayuki or Yuika. I guess it won’t be appropriate to go flipping skirts or take upskirt photos, eh? Keiki visits the shodo club and only Sayuki is there. He looks serious even as he asks her he will become her master. She doesn’t look surprised or ecstatic too. So he brings her out to an amusement park and claims he will be her master for the rest of the day.

Episode 9
Keiki demands absolute obedience for today. Noticing that she is concerned about her skirt, could it be that she is wearing those Cinderella pantsu? Keiki suggests a few rides so that he has a chance to see underneath her skirt but all failed. Yeah, somehow the laws of physics are strong to not flip up this girl’s skirt! At the end of the day, they have a heart to heart talk and despite Keiki not getting what he wants, at least he sees another side of Sayuki and he somewhat got closer to her. I take it he means that as a human being. She also explains why she chose him to be her master when he first joined the shodo club as she had this feeling he would accept her for who she is. While walking her home, because he still notices her being concerned about her skirt, I guess it is now or never. He should’ve did this from the start but I guess he didn’t want to sound like an absolute pervert. Until now. He orders her to lift her skirt. Very embarrassed at it, she slowly does so. To Keiki’s shock… She’s not wearing anything!!! This however doesn’t dispel the fact that Sayuki isn’t Cinderella. So it gets awkward between them in school. I wonder Keiki is still in shock with that ‘awesome’ sight. So in shodo club, Sayuki is acting very strangely and Yuika notices this. The more she tries to pry, the more suspicious she becomes. Noticing that she is some sort of trying to be patient, Yuika puts this to the test by flirting with Keiki. Sayuki holds it in and does nothing. Yuika grows more intense until Sayuki can’t take it anymore. Yuika falls on Keiki in a compromising position. With Sayuki running away from him, Keiki realizes he needs to do something. He needs to bring back her smile. So he confronts her but she complaints about him being close to Yuika. Plus, she arrives at this twisted conclusion he is playing hard to get. That must be it. Because after going commando, she was expecting him to spank her bare naked ass or something. But nothing happened. This has Keiki get straight to the point and ask if she stole the pantsu from his room. Surprisingly she admits it! Wait. What?! No way?! In fact she is wearing them now! But of course here is the twist. She lifts her skirt to reveal that she is wearing his boxers! Oh my! Is some new sick fetish going to awaken from within? Later Keiki visits Yuika’s house. While she goes to get drinks, he searches her pantsu drawer. No Cinderella pantsu here. Then he gets caught in the act. Know why she isn’t mad? Yup. She took a picture of him red-handed. I guess he’ll gladly be her slave now.

Episode 10
And so Keiki’s enslavement to Yuika begins. This makes Sayuki suspicious and she thinks Yuika is blackmailing him. The argument ends up in forcing Keiki to confess whether he likes big or small boobs. Huh? Eventually Keiki has to be true to himself and admits his love for bigger ones. While Yuika is mad but because Keiki is an obedient dog to Yuika, Sayuki ends up in tears. No rest for the slave as Keiki is called to be Yuika’s butler. However she wants the public to see them and so they go out shopping. As she takes a shower, Keiki plans to look for the Cinderella panties hit a snag when he hears Yuika’s scream. A spider in the toilet! Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. Because he saw her naked, she is going to punish him. But to show gratitude for coming to her rescue, she tells him about her beloved grandma. Grandma loved her more than anything in the world. But when she died, Yuika felt betrayed. She thought if she didn’t like anyone, she wouldn’t be hurt so much. However as we know, Keiki persistently talked to her until she opened up. Thinking back, had she really not want to talk to anybody, she wouldn’t have gone to the library or told him off then. A weird situation whereby Yuika trips onto her bed. It seems like Keiki is going to kiss her but what’s this? He finds his boxers underneath her pillow?! Busted! Oh how the tables have turned. She admits she stole it and even sniffed it! Damn… So I guess this is even. The slave thingy ends here. Keiki complains to Shouma about having a girlfriend is so tough. You think he has it tough? Wait till he hears Shouma’s complaints about stumbling into Koharu’s room filled with DVDs of him and a notebook that details his every activity. Every. Activity. Yeah. Love is so hard… And then suddenly Mao shows up and wants Keiki to be her boyfriend. Is that her terminology to become a model for her BL? Anyway, she tells him she was scouted by an editor and given a chance to write a one shot shoujo manga. As she wants to expand her horizons but has no experience in this, thus this request. After confirming he really has no girlfriend, she sits on him seductively and tells him he will become her boyfriend. She prepares to kiss him. But of course she trolls him and all this is just for reference. Now Ayano comes hugging him to recharge herself after a hard day’s work. If sniffing his sweat isn’t enough, how about unlimited supplies of his underwear? No way. To show her gratitude, she gives him tickets to the pool. Up to 5 people can be invited. She isn’t coming as the temptation of naked men might be too much. Keiki goes to invite Shouma and Koharu but looks like they’re busy. As he helps them pick up photos of Shouma that Koharu dropped, he sees a photo with a timestamp and suddenly realizes this one could be vital to prove Cinderella’s identity.

Episode 11
The usual suspects are at the pool. Don’t worry if they didn’t bring a swimsuit, Keiki has already prepared some for them! The guy knows his stuff as they look sexy and stunning in them. Don’t fight over who gets to accompany him. Because everyone is going to have their turn. Fair and square? Not like Keiki has a say either. But Keiki’s worst fears have come true because now Mizuha knows about that BL feature! Now that she is being exposed thanks to certain irresponsible parties who are probably trying to screw up Keiki’s life, Mizuha even thinks she is okay he is into men and might have found a new awakening!!! It’ll be bad if there are overlapping characters for the BL trope! Koharu seems to be hosting a swimsuit beauty contest and is looking for participants. You mean there are no other girls at this pool? And so our usual quartet participate with the ‘reward’ Keiki must obey what the winner says. Does he even have a say in this? We see the girls take turns belting out why they like a certain guy. If only they know about their weird fetish like Keiki do… Eventually the winner goes to Mizuha as she even breaks the score counter! I guess everybody loves the little sister trope.

As they wait for the bus home, Keiki talks to Mizuha privately. He apologizes beforehand and flips up her skirt! There it is! The Cinderella panties! He explains his deduction. Mizuha can be seen in the background of that photo. It is around the time Keiki was still at the clubroom. For Cinderella to be carrying around those panties all the time, it is possible for her to keep it in her bag since it is small. So after leaving the letter and panties, she hid in the locker until Keiki showed up and left. Hence this pool was part of his plan to reveal Cinderella’s identity. As it was a surprise announcement, Mizuha clearly didn’t bring an extra set. So in order to change back after the pool, being the clean freak she is, he knew she had to wear the Cinderella panties. He never suspected her because he eliminated her from the suspect pool from the start. Mizuha admits she is the one. She truly loves him and hoped the love letter would have her feelings reached him. I am assuming she loves him not in the siblings’ kind of term but of the romantic kind. Then she reminds him of their birthdays. Noticed they are only 5 months apart in the same year? Are you seeing where she is going at? And so Mizuha apologizes beforehand. A surprise kiss followed by a surprised announcement that they, wait for it, are not real siblings!!! Jenjenjeng!

Episode 12
You know it’s a dream when Keiki is married to Sayuki. Not only she is his wife but his b*tch! Pet dog b*tch! Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because once Keiki wakes up, what’s worse than the dream? Your sister kissing you on the lips! Well, technically not blood related, so okay? Because she continues to get flirty with him, if this is how she is going to play it, he’ll run away from home! So he meets up with Shouma and Koharu to reveal the Cinderella mystery. Then it deviates to their relationship. Looks like Shouma pecked Koharu on her cheek. That’s far as they go. For now. Keiki leaves them since they’re having ‘family issues’. As Keiki forgot his wallet, luckily Mao is passing by and feeds him. Taking a break from her manga, she tells him Mizuha was pretty popular with other boys but rejected them all. Mao feels weird because she thought of getting in the way of his romance but now finds herself supporting him. Flashback shows Keiki confirming with dad that Mizuha is not blood related and adopted. So he forgot? It didn’t matter if he reminded again because they are all family. Plus, dad likes Mizuha over his own son! We hear Keiki and Mizuha narrate their own feelings. While Keiki cannot see her more than a sister, Mizuha has always seen him as a boy. Ironically she still calls him nii-san.

Keiki comes back drenched by the rain and ends up sick. Though he is in bed, he is currently being seduced by Sayuki. Can’t catch a break, huh? And then of course Yuika shows up. Instead of fighting each time they see other, they fight over him. Yeah, bad move, Keiki. Can he heal? But luckily the sister has more authority and kicks them out. Keiki manages to get his sleep as he dreams about the first time Mizuha was brought into the family. Yeah, how could he ever forget that? Then he goes talk to Mizuha to ask why and when she started falling for him. It was the first time they met. She can never forget the words he first said to her. As she lost her family in an accident and was alone, Keiki said they are going to be together forever as family. That was the clincher. How could she not fall for him after that? Thanks for always being her brother. With that, Keiki decides to keep being her brother. They also return to their normal lives. Of course some things never changed. Like perverts being perverts… Mizuha hopes he would one day date her as a lover and not a brother. So as he obliges that wish, Keiki finally discovers Mizuha’s true dark fetish secret: She is an exhibitionist! Now you understand why when Keiki enters the bathroom and sees her naked, she did not panic?! In fact, Keiki stumbles upon lots of naked Mizuha selfies! Oh sh*t! Hence the true mystery of the Cinderella panties finally answered: That day she was going commando. But after cleaning the clubroom, she felt sweaty and wanted to put them back on. However that was when Keiki returned and she had to hide. So will Keiki now accept his sister for who she is and make her his girlfriend? Sorry, no… I have a feeling he wants to stay away but he can’t because of his nii-san promise…

Love Is Pervert
I am guessing that as long as Keiki wants to have a girlfriend, the kind of girls that he attracts are perverts. Uh huh. He isn’t going to get a really normal girlfriend in life because fate seems to enjoy this cruel prank by making twisted perverted girls being attracted to him. And with that, all is well and normal in Keiki’s life. Either he dies a bachelor virgin or he succumbs and submits to one of these perverts. Yup. That’s pretty much his life. Life f*cking and screwing up for him.

It is your typical ecchi fanservice harem of the season and it is either you love it or be disappointed because it’s the same ol’ formula. A bevy of cute girls with their cliché stereotypes masked as some sort of weird fetish, check. Some kawaii pantsu shots, check. Main guy ‘dates’ each of them, check. Is that enough to satisfy what you are looking for? Then good. You’re all filled up and good to go. Otherwise, feel free to look elsewhere.

When guys are having such fetishes, they are branded as perverts and everything becomes uncomfortable and disgusting. When girls are the ones having such fetishes, it is all funny and sexy and we still get a hard on. Wow double standards. But we don’t care. Only new wave feminists might start complaining how we sexualize these girls as sex objects. But whatever, I don’t give a f*ck. Anyway, the girls having these weird perverted fetishes are the so called formula in making this series funny as well as giving it its much needed fanservice. You have a busty senior who wants to be a submitted slave. You have a flat washboard junior who wants to dominate others. You must always have that classmate who is into BL and a fujoshi. And last but not least, you can’t leave out your loving little sister trope. Oh wait. Plot twist! We’re not related! Yeah, saw that coming by a mile too. You mean we won’t have incest now???!!! Where’s the twisted fun in not f*cking your own imouto???!!! Haha. Just kidding. Obviously. I bet Mizuha could make a killing being an Instagram model or do soft porn… But I am sure nii-san won’t allow it…

Despite all their reasonable (although some may be considered as twisted) reasons, Keiki still entertains them and because of him accommodating others easily, this is a main reason why these girls don’t give up on him. You won’t find any other guys in school as obliging as him. Though, he still has his own line that he won’t cross. Because he certainly won’t become somebody’s master, he certainly won’t become somebody’s slave and he certainly won’t become the model of a gay subject. Other guys would have run away but this guy, yeah we’re still friends despite being weirdoes. He won’t abandon them because who else will they have? That very same kindness came to bite him back in the ass because he has to put up with these shenanigans. So it’s a race to his heart! Or his libido. May the best pervert win! And that’s why Keiki falls into that trap of being the typical clichéd main character. He’s got a harem but they are all twisted and have ulterior motives that result in him having to suffer a lot more rather than enjoy. Ah, the drawbacks of being such a generic main character. But the only thing ‘unique’ about him is his given name as Keiki. Feels like it is for that short convenience BL joke.

When Mizuha was revealed to be the Cinderella, it didn’t come to me as a surprise because I always suspected her from the start. I mean, after a few episodes in, there are subtle tell-tale signs that she could be the culprit. Because you know, Keiki has been focusing so much on the terrible trio of either Sayuki, Yuika or Mao that he failed to suspect the fourth which is his own sister. I guess you can say this was just right under his nose. As a normal guy, you can’t blame him for never suspecting his own sister. She is the only one who has free access to his room any time in the first place. Also, he is an idiot for conveniently forgetting his sister was adopted in the first place. HOW COULD HE EVEN FORGET???!!! Maybe Mizuha is being so sisterly sister that it feels like though as she was there the whole time. Yeah, convenient plot twist reveal. In any case, the biggest hint is watching the opening credits animation in which the quartet are shown to be the main running contenders to be Keiki’s harem (though Sayuki and Yuika are the front runners). And of course based on this too, I can tell that Koharu and Ayano are just ‘trolls’ and distractions and not part of the main harem. Uh huh. Having 6 girls in your harem is already too much and breaking the normal harem quota of 2-4 girls.

Art and animation feel pretty average although it hovers around mediocrity. Because of the somewhat light shading, is it me or do I find the characters to look mostly one kind. Not only that, I think I have seen them somewhere from other animes. Like Koharu who has this striking resemblance to Sagiri of Eromanga-sensei fame while Yuika while Mizuha could have been ripped off from Hinako Note’s Chiaki and Yuika looks like a petite version of Go-toubun No Hanayome’s Yotsuba (must be the hair ribbon). Long black haired Japanese girls seem like a dime a dozen but I can only think of Senran Kagura’s Ikaruga whom Sayuki looks similar to. In fact, doesn’t Keiki and his harem’s design copy off the one from Saenai Heroine No Sodatekata?! Wow. Look at the striking resemblance… A black long haired beauty, the blonde with an attitude and the short haired ‘normal’ girl. Wow… And finally Ayano… Is this how Rem and Ram of Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu looks like without their maid outfit?! This anime is collaborated by Geek Toys (RErideD: Tokigoe No Derrida) and Seven (Danna Ga Nani Wo Itteriru Ka Wakaranai Ken, Joshikausei, Nobunaga-sensei No Osanazuma, Okusama Ga Seitokaichou and Ousama Game).

The voice acting is pretty decent (oh the irony) and the only seiyuus I recognized are Hiro Shimono as Keiki (I guess he isn’t as smooth as his character Keima in The World God Only Knows) and Ayana Taketatsu as Sayuki. The rest of the other casts are Rina Hidaka as Yuika (Last Order in To Aru Majutsu No Index), Iori Nomizu as Mao (Yoshino in Date A Live), Kaede Hondo as Mizuha (titular character in Tejina-senpai), Ayaka Ohashi as Koharu (Saaya in BanG Dream), Keisuke Koumoto as Shouma (Raul in Yuushibu) and Anzu Haruno as Ayano (Mafuyu in Blend S).

I was so damn cocksure that the opening theme, Daisuki was sung by Ayana Taketatsu. Unfortunately, I was way off the mark. It was Ayaka Ohashi. I couldn’t really believe and had to listen to the song a few times over again. What do you mean this isn’t Ayana Taketatsu’s voice?! Doesn’t she sound like that?! Behold my unbeliever boy, it’s right there in the credits too. Damn, I guess I can’t argue with that. Oh, and the song itself? Nah, just your generic lively anime pop music. Not bad and a fitting piece for this series but not something I would be addicted to. The ending theme is Mubyuu No Hana by Mia Regina. A rather okay slow ballad if I must say.

Overall, this is just a pretty average and mediocre series. You only watch this if you are interested in the fanservice and some of the twisted fetish jokes. After all, this is what this series is all about, right? Certainly not the worst ecchi fanservice series out there because nobody tops Ore Ga Suki Nano Wa Imouto Dakedo Imouto Ja Nai ever since! Yeah, that series has become the benchmark of being just awfully bad. At the end of the day, each and every one of us has some sort of fetish or obsession. That’s how we get by life. The question of how tolerable and acceptable society perceives it to be. Then again, when you are truly in love, you accept the person for who they are. The flaws and imperfections are the actual reasons why you love that person. You accept the whole package as it is. But still, nobody loves a pervy middle aged otaku guy who likes hot sexy 2D anime girls :’(.

Tejina-senpai

October 19, 2019

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra! Ladies and gentlemen. Get ready for the greatest magician to ever walk the face of the planet in recent history! Let her awe and mesmerize you with her magical tricks. So real that you wouldn’t even believe it after seeing it with your own eyes. People, I present to you Tejina-senpai! Oh… Oh… She blunders and screws up every of her trick! Uhm… So that wasn’t in the script? You mean those bloopers are real and uncalled for? Oh… Oh… But wait! Uhm. Yeah. They look so funny so you might actually not be watching a magic show but a comedy show instead! Aha. Yeah. That must be it! Oh my. She’s flashing her undies unintentionally too? Wait a minute. Is this a strip show too?! Uhm. Erm. Ah… Oh well… Everybody give a big round of applause to Tejina-senpai, the brilliant magician-cum-comedian-cum-flasher all rolled into one! Best show ever definitely.

Episode 1A
In Tanenashi High School, all students are required to join a club. A boy is looking for an easy club when he stumbles into the magic club. He sees Tejina trying to do magic tricks but because she suffers from stage fright (despite just performing alone), she keeps vomiting. She tries to impress him with tricks but he can already see her slip up as she makes excuses for her lameness. Then the ultimate trick of cutting his money in half! Will his money be alright? Snip. Oh sh*t… Oh look, his money somehow transferred into her wallet… I wonder why she’s crying… He is about to leave but she manages to get his attention the next magic trick is bondage. So how will she free herself from this? She can’t. She screws up even further and this sexy BDSM position has him applauding. Best magic trick ever!

Episode 1B
Tejina is doing her magic trick in the school compound. The crowd isn’t impressed. Because he is passing by, she drags him into her show. Yeah, he is now conveniently her Assistant. While she gets ready, Assistant does a few tricks to appease the crowd. They’re a bit impressed and Tejina is more jealous than anything. So Tejina has done her preparations. How will she get out of the box? 10 minutes passed. It is clear to say she has given up. Show’s over. Assistant opens the box to see her in a compromising position.

Episode 1C
It’s already bad enough Tejina hijacks the PA and is calling for Assistant to come to the clubroom right now! Embarrassing. So she wants him to eat her melon bread? Suspicious, he has her eat first. Looks okay. The moment he bites, he feels something hard. There’s a key in it. Surprise! Hence he locks her in the box. Because he is choking, she thinks of using milk. But WTF she wants to do a trick? This is matter of life and death! Hand it over! A struggle ensues causing the milk to spill all over her body. Her clothes are soaked. Best fanservice has him swallow whatever was stuck in his throat. All clear now.

Episode 1D
Tejina brings a pigeon to the clubroom. After explaining why white doves are used, she proceeds to let it out. Don’t worry. She has bonded with it so well that it listens to her. Only, it bites her hand! Then it flies about until Tejina uses bird seeds to calm it down. But instead, it dives straight into her cleavage (I guess the main dish is better) and flies around, tickling her body. Then it pops out from beneath like as though she has given birth. So this is her giving birth magic? Then the pigeon flies out the open window. Come back, Bahamut! Yeah, lost posters of a pigeon. Please help find…

Episode 2A
What a sorry sight to see Tejina eating alone. But must he join her? Yeah, now she is trying to bend spoons. Pretty easy if you know physics. While he excels, she is struggling. Of course the spoon is flung out of her hands. As he goes to get a new one, she realizes some spicy sauce spilled onto his meal. To cover it up, she casts a hypnotizing spell that he will find it spicy. See? It worked, right? Yeah, if it is hypnotism, she shouldn’t find it spicy. Now she is forced to eat the rest of his food.

Episode 2B
Tejina tries to impress with her coin trick but it always slips out and land in some unreachable place. So as she tries to reach for it, she unknowingly shows her ass to him. Because of that, he tries to subtly warn her. Hence they are both talking on different pages. She thinks he means magic trick while he thinks it is about sex. So is she really going to give it to him? Another messed up coin trick as the coin got flicked on his forehead. Ouch.

Episode 2C
Meet Behemoth. Tejina’s critter hand puppet. Sad state of friends, huh? Not sure what this magic trick of Behemoth running through her body is supposed to do but as usual, it’s not impressive. One magic trick has her accidentally dropping Behemoth on the floor and she accidentally stepping over it. It’s ‘dead’. Such a sad day… And she just left it in the classroom instead of taking it back with her.

Episode 2D
It’s such a hot summer. And even hotter when Tejina is already in bondage position. Yup, she screwed up trying to show some magic trick to kids. Luckily they don’t look like they’re corrupted and instead disappointed with this failure. And when Assistant takes over, the kids look to him with more hope! Jealous Tejina takes over again, this time with some clothes changing trick. Since she is taking too long, the kids has Assistant help them with their video game. Oh, Tejina you done? How does she fail this time? She realizes she forgot to bring extra clothes and is completely nude underneath this mantle. Nothing for you kids to see here… And the legend of some cape clad flasher was born…

Episode 2E
Assistant realizes today is the last day to submit his application on which club he is to join. Oh my. Tejina locking the place up! Then tying him up! She even takes the liberty to fill in this magic club on his application form. So this setup is part of her magic trick? Yeah, whatever this lame rubber rabbit trick is. At the end of the day, she hopes they can make a real club with real members and an advisor. You mean, this isn’t even an official club to begin with???!!! Assistant is shocked he has been tricked. This is fraud! Nope, says Tejina. This is magic! WTF?!

Episode 3A
Why is Tejina scared to see the teacher? Because she is her older sister! Quirkiness runs in the family as Onee-chan loves teasing Tejina, much to her dismay. She wants her to show her usual magic tricks and despite so, Onee-chan does her usual teasing. With that, she excitedly wants to be the advisor of her magic club. Tejina disagrees but another teacher reprimands Onee-chan for being noisy and not acting like a teacher.

Episode 3B
Assistant tries some normal tricks with Behemoth but Tejina becomes a harsh armchair critic. Now it’s Tejina’s turn so Assistant notices her zipper is undone. How can he subtly tell her? He says he can see everything but of course she thinks he is referring to her magic tricks and denies he hasn’t yet. As he can’t take his eyes off her flower prints panties, in the end he mentions flowers as the deck suit. Only later in the toilet that Tejina realizes what he meant…

Episode 3C
To help Tejina overcome her stage fright, Assistant reads a few tips from the internet. Drink lots of water. She drank the whole bottle! Now her tummy is aching… How about taking deep breaths? She sounds like giving birth! How about repeating calm phrases to yourself? She fell asleep… Finally, can tickling work? Assistant is conscious about her slim waist and huge boobs. But when she chastises him for being unable to do simple tickling, he tickles her until she cannot even stand! This guy is good with his hands…?

Episode 3D
Tejina is in a kimono as she is going to perform some basic Japanese tricks. The first is making paper butterflies flutter. Of course she fails and Assistant does it better. Next is turning paper into udon. But then she carelessly lights the lighter and the sprinkler activates. Ah, here’s your water magic?

Episode 3E
The duo are in the park. What kind of magic trick is she going to do that doesn’t need her to bring her tools? Yeah, she’s going to use the park’s pigeons! Obviously they attack her. The next trick is to climb up the tree and steal pigeon eggs? Obviously they attack her. Worse, she can’t get down. Assistant leaves her handing. Don’t want anything to do with this egg thief. Bye. To add salt to injury, the pigeons poo all over her. Tejina starts crying but no love lost for this idiot!

Episode 4A
To celebrate a month since Assistant’s joining the club, Tejina does some magic tricks for him. Rope cutting messed up. Even the card message trick is messed up. Then when she forcefully tries to put some ring on him to swear his fealty to the magic club, Onee-chan pops up. Sorry to bring the bad news but the magic club is disapproved due to lack of members. Feel free to join other clubs.

Episode 4B
I guess Assistant will be scouting for new clubs. But for every club he went, Tejina is always there trying to do some failed magic tricks! Is this some sort of conspiracy? Don’t tell me it’s magic! He tries to run from her but unfortunately she runs faster than him! Because of that, the track club wants to recruit her. She does join and even runs in record time. However it’s her ploy to recruit them to join her magic club so Assistant takes her away. Let the girls run…

Episode 4C
To fill the void of Assistant leaving, Tejina has brought not 1 but 2 pigeons! She shows how she can take care of them like misting (also accidentally spraying water all over her boobs) as well as letting them out of their cage to let them fly freely (good luck getting them back in). Because one is male and the other female, Assistant wonders if their cooing will be noisy at night. Tejina is confident since pigeons are diurnal, they won’t. Unfortunately the cooing at night never stopped…

Episode 4D
So sad… It’s Assistant’s last day. And what a way to end this with this sword in the box trick. Of course he isn’t getting in the box. With Tejina playing the role of the assistant, Assistant thrusts the swords into the box. The swords miss her but not with a lot of poking and ambiguous lewd words. My butt hurts! Pull it out! Pull it out!!! Once the show is over, it seems the swords have ripped her clothes. Is this fanservice magical or what?

Episode 4E
OMG. Tejina flawlessly doing all her magic tricks?! No, it’s not a dream! It’s real! The catch? She’s doing them alone. Ah… As she ties herself up for this trick and reminiscing about Assistant, suddenly he pops up. Oh dear. Clumsiness back in order. Assistant joined the chemistry club next door but only in name. Since their room is connected, Assistant can come visit her until she retires. Yay! Don’t have to be lonely now, huh? Chemistry club president, Madara allows this as long as they don’t do shameless things. Tejina is touched and what a way to welcome him back with this unfortunate fanservice because she somehow screws up as her rope trick becomes BDSM.

Episode 5A
Because Assistant heard there will be a few observers coming to see the magic club, he doesn’t want her to do any tricks but to stay hidden! Of course Tejina will not allow that and as he deliberates how his cool image in class will be ruined by being associated with this, Tejina is already practising her head falling off trick. As he tries to stop her, those observers come in and see this horror scene! Run for your life! Bet they’ll never come back.

Episode 5B
Onee-chan and Tejina has come up with an improvised clothes changing magic trick. The clothes she changes into get skimpier but Onee-chan convinces her it is just the fabric that has skin tone. But this is just for the first clothes. Subsequent clothes, we get more Tejina fanservice until she is close to being naked! Assistant can’t be thankful enough for this magic trick!

Episode 5C
When Assistant is with Madara, the silence between them is awkward. Hence Madara decides to show her own magic tricks but using the power of science. I’m sure many of us know the difference in pressure and temperature in a bottle causes the bottle to bend out of shape without any physical contact. Assistant is impressed as he tries his hands at some air current scientific experiment. However he starts off too early and it blows up Madara’s skirt. This only reinforces her idea that the magic club is a perverted club.

Episode 5D
Tejina is hiding in a box and plans to surprise Assistant when he comes in. However when he does, he sits on the box. Noticing how quiet and nice it is without her, he starts to complain all about her bad habits and failure as a magician. Ouch. However he starts confessing the only positive thing about her: While it might seem like a confession to Tejina, it is actually a praise for Behemoth. With Tejina in a dilemma whether or not to pretend she heard this, eventually she pops up and gives a long winded rant on her thoughts. Too bad nobody is here. Wasted breath…

Episode 5E
Assistant is invited to Tejina’s house. He thinks her room would be very girly but nope. What a pig sty. Of course Tejina’s goal of inviting him here is to ascertain that confession of his and to give a proper reply. However each time she tries to say that magic word, she falters and ends up doing some lame magic trick instead. Yeah, confession is a trick that is the hardest to do! She even slips up by showing him all her panties collection instead of her handkerchiefs. That is when she comes clean and admits about that confession. However this annoys him as he tells what really happened. Red faced, poor Tejina is now crying over this embarrassing blunder.

Episode 6A
Assistant is troubled that misunderstanding that Tejina thinks he likes her. Though the only thing she admires about her is her boobs. But an equally busty gal comes in, Saki. She plans to hijack the magic club. Of course Tejina won’t allow it but Saki shows a bit of her street performance to leave her in awe. Saki is a transfer student and she has been looking for a club to join. She heard about the magic club closing down and that’s why she’s here. However she wants to make her little brother, Ma-kun the president of this club. From the way she describes this guy, definitely she’s got brother complex. Don’t get your hopes high on this guy. Because we’ve already known, Ma-kun is a really fat dude…

Episode 6B
While having more members means the club is able to carry on, Tejina feels conflicted because this isn’t the kind of magic club she wanted it to be. Then she just decides to upgrade it by splitting the difference and be the street magic club. Ma-kun tries to do some balloon trick but it popped. Yeah, Saki is so awed and excited over this. Like as though she’s having orgasm at everything he does. Saki then tries this balloon outfit trick. She realizes her skirt slipped out but so as not to let this performance fail, she carries on and lets everyone sees her in her undies. Even Ma-kun apologizes on her behalf.

Episode 6C
Tejina won’t have the street performers beat them and has Assistant do some magic tricks with her. Maybe she just wants to show off… Of course we see her fail at every attempt. Some giving us fanservice, some putting Assistant in a troubling spot. With the women arguing what this club is supposed to be, here comes Onee-chan to solve this dispute. She measures their boobs and Tejina wins because hers is heavier. Though, Saki argues she has the better shape…

Episode 6D
Tejina fails at hypnotism. As expected. She tries to do it in the correct order and even tries to look arrogant doing so but also fails. She is so confident that she lets Assistant do hypnotism on her. You can tell he succeeds when he ‘transfers’ her essence to the bottle. So wherever he tickles the bottle, Tejina feels the ticklish effects on her body. Realizing that she is fully hypnotized, Assistant decides to get back at her for all those tormenting times. Heh… Evil scheming face popping up… Remember to lock the door… He creates a scenario that she is going to take a bath in the hotspring. Hence Tejina starts undressing. But soon, Assistant soon feels guilty about taking advantage of her. By the time he tries to stop her, she is already half undressed. He tries to reason she is a cat and she turns into one and scratches his face. This girl is so easily influenced… He gets this idea to cure her stage fright. You are no longer scared on stage… Although he is successful, however she still flops. Still failing at her magic tricks. Should have cured her failure too…

Episode 7A
Saki burnt her cookies so she thinks of seeking Tejina’s help to remake them. So as they wait, she asks why she is so obsessed with the magic club. Anyway, Saki sounds bored hearing her struggling story to keep the club afloat. Saki wants to test some of her cookies but apparently Tejina has laced with something them for Assistant. So the girls give their respective guys to eat their cookies. As Assistant fears, Tejina is surprised when nothing happens after he eats it. It is Ma-kun who gets it. Yeah, now he is pulling flags out from his mouth.

Episode 7B
Tejina is happy to receive funds for the club. Until she sees its meagre amount… Hence they decide to do some fundraising by doing street performance at the park. Tejina tries to copy some guy doing a human statue. It is hard at first but she likes it when a few kids praises how she doesn’t move. Until she realizes they are actually peeking at her panties! Why you little! Meanwhile Saki and Ma-kun do their balloon art and get quite the crowd. Some give money, some give food. Assistant is impressed with them until he sees Saki throwing away rewards that are useless. Checking back on Tejina, they see an old shady guy trying to give her 50 grand! DON’T ACCEPT THAT MONEY!!!

Episode 7C
Tejina wants to show her underwater magic whereby she will escape her chains underwater. Of course Assistant is very worried for her despite her assurance that she has practised many times with success in her bathtub. Stubborn, she goes ahead but he stops her. While she pouts, Saki fakes a drowning so she can be pulled out and Ma-kun do CPR on her. But he just puts some plastic sheet over her face and let her be. Since Tejina is still sulking, Assistant lets her do it but restricts to just her hands being tied. After a few seconds she is not surfacing. Fearing she might be really drowning, he jumps in to save her. She is upset she would have been done in a few more seconds and Assistant realizes he got his hand over her boobs. Who made the most blunder here?

Episode 7D
Assistant thinks of helping her overcome her stage fright since there are moments where she can pull off her performance with ease. As he records her, she starts getting nervous. Hence he starts from the beginning. Here, perform to this cicada shell… As he ‘upgrades’ her ‘audience’, she finally baulks while performing in front of him despite he is blindfolded. No use crying about this. So Assistant lets he practice before a life sized cardboard cut-out of, uhm, himself? Unknown to Tejina, he is hiding behind it. She performs her magic without screwing up. Assistant is so happy for her that he bursts out from his hiding. Realizing she was being watched, she starts getting anxiety attacks. It is déjà vu all over again because her stress level has peaked until she vomits all over him.

Episode 8A
Assistant thought Tejina is going to show him some sexy Chinese magic. Turns out it is some mask changing technique. Each have their theory on how his trick is done. Especially a guy hidden behind the performer to swap mask. They also experiment with this and one time Tejina was hiding behind Saki but because Saki’s hair is long and thick, this makes it unbreathable for her. Simply she tries to grab and rip her mask but accidentally she rips open her shirt! Oops…

Episode 8B
Tejina tries to impress Assistant with her mentalist magic trick. You know, deciphering what one is thinking based on their facial expressions. After a few lucky guesses, she is full of herself so it is Assistant to return the favour and he easily reads her like a book. Because her actions are so obvious. Please stop! This is embarrassing! And then her stomach growls. No prizes to guess she’s hungry…

Episode 8C
Some farmer gave Tejina lots of mikan. So she’s going to try and do some magic trick with them. Not really some magic trick but more of like some picture pun. Later when she tries to peel them, she gets juice squirted in her eyes.

Episode 8D
Tejina shows off the club’s website. It is so hideous and low quality that sometimes it looks scary! But Saki to the rescue. She gives it a digital makeover but how come it now looks like a shady website?! Assistant blows his top for it to be redone because he fears some pervy old man might mistake this and will hire Tejina to make shady videos! After redoing it and Tejina adding its final touches, it looks even worse and shadier! Assistant just redoes it all again himself. If you want something done, do it yourself.

Episode 8E
Tejina is tasked to perform before kindergarten children. Having stage fright? While she accidentally broke her wand, the kids think it is real and are impressed. This boosts Tejina’s baseless confidence as she proceeds to do more of her simple tricks like some reverse picture (WTF is that drawing anyway?) and the simple disappearing magic of quickly hiding them while the kids are distracted. The impressed kids think she is hiding them in her body and proceed to molest all over her body. Is this considered her greatest success?

Episode 9A
Tejina’s magic trick this time involves everyone writing their wishes in an envelope and she can magically tell whom it belongs too. Of course she rigged it with a mark on the envelope’s corner. The problem: She forgot which corner belongs to whom! Guesswork time. All wrong! Assistant takes over and has everyone writes something they won’t admit. He can easily guess who is who and when it is Tejina’s one, how come it’s blank? She thinks she is a smartass claiming she has nothing to write but this has everyone fed up and leave the room.

Episode 9B
Tejina and Saki are taking a remedial exam. While waiting for the teacher, Tejina thinks of showing Saki some magic trick with this number game and trapping her with it. Unfortunately Tejina loses and begs for another chance. Saki knows how to circumvent this trick just by looking at Tejina’s reaction. Just when Tejina thinks she has won, she does an air punch but holy cow, she punched the teacher!!! I guess she’s not coming into the club today.

Episode 9C
Tejina trolls everyone by bringing an ice cream box. It sounds like it has something but it’s empty instead. Everyone so annoyed with the heat already that they force her to buy them real ice cream. She tries to make her ice cream spoon disappear but she drops it instead. Now must she eat ice cream with her hand? With Saki complaining about doing summer-like things like going to the beach, Assistant watches Tejina’s obvious eager body reaction despite her words sound like she’s doing them all a favour. Yup, to the beach then.

Episode 9D
But first everyone goes to buy a swimsuit. Yeah, I guess there is only a reason why the guys accompany the girls to do so. With Tejina asking Assistant for his opinion, this guy is in a dilemma. He really wants to see her in some naughty swimsuit but fears he sound hard up for it. Hence Ma-kun teaches him some psychological tricks albeit they sound like fraud. With Assistant still whining about it, Ma-kun just takes the sexy swimsuit and gives it to Tejina. Actually it is Saki who wears it and while it may be good news for Assistant, I guess Ma-kun didn’t appreciate seeing his sister like that. Because Saki now thinks little bro wants her in this. And somehow Tejina messed up and wore her swimsuit backwards… Later Tejina thinks the changing room is like a magic set. She thinks of tricking Assistant by shifting her shoes to the next cubicle. When she calls him, he will be shocked to find her cubicle is empty and thinks she has disappeared. Unfortunately the store clerk returns the shoes to Tejina’s cubicle seeing she noticed nobody is in that cubicle. So when Tejina calls for Assistant, he opens the curtains only to see a sexy Tejina in her undies. Tejina, you looking shock for a person setting up this magic trick. Personally if you ask me, I think this magic trick works! Thanks, senpai!

Episode 10A
Beach episode! Since the girls are full of energy, they swim out to sea while the lacklustre guys stay on the beach and play their handheld. The current is too strong and washes away their top. Tejina has magic sand that will serve as temporary bra when mixed with water. However it dissolves the moment it is out of water. Don’t fear. Saki has some balloons. So they wear them as a body suit until they get to land. But as they approach the boys, they step on something sharp. Pop! Free fanservice today?

Episode 10B
Assistant sees Madara observing a crab. She gets embarrassed after she notices him. Apparently her grandma lives nearby. Then she has him lie down on his stomach. No, nothing naughty is going to happen. This is to watch the sunset. When the sun has sunk over the horizon, then she has him stand up. There is still sunset. Yeah, the magic of science that explains why the Earth is round that would piss off many flat Earth believers. When he points out to her swimsuit that would probably feel cold once night falls, she gets embarrassed and runs away.

Episode 10C
Assistant invites Madara to split the watermelon with the rest. Ma-kun goes first but Saki leads him to a different ‘watermelon’. Yeah, sleep in her boobs! Ma-kun then buries her in the sand and lets another takeover. It’s Madara’s turn so she explains some secret trick to smash it. Unfortunately she has poor sense of direction so she fails. Finally it is Tejina’s turn. Too bad this girl is so panicky that she accidentally smacks everyone with the stick. You can imagine how frightened Saki is when it’s her turn… Oh sh*t… In the end, it’s total annihilation. Except the watermelon still intact.

Episode 10D
Time to play the fireworks and Assistant won’t let Tejina do any tricks, knowing better that Tejina and fire don’t go together. She burnt down the club once, you know. Then she tries to do some money switching burning trick. She uses the flames as distraction and the darkness to conceal her trick. Too bad she screws up and burns the real money instead… She tries to do the same trick with the flash paper. But the fire got bigger instead and she accidentally throws it to their pile of fireworks. Wow. Now the fireworks are all lit! After managing to put it all out, I guess it’s time to console this poor loser girl. Everything isn’t lost as Madara has some leftover sparklers from grandma. The magic moment of Tejina commenting how times like these make them closer, sputter out because her sparkler burns out and drops on her feet. Ouch!

Episode 11A
Tejina is trying some disappearing balls trick that won’t work. I guess Assistant has to hear her out. Typically, her sweaty palms is part of the problem. She then thinks it is because her hands are small. Shouldn’t she get smaller balls then? She puts her hand on Assistant’s to compare. He compliments them and thinks they don’t need to be the same size. However he realizes her palm is sweaty and retracts everything. Quick wash those stickiness off!

Episode 11B
Assistant walks into the clubroom to see Saki ‘dead’. Apparently she sniffed on Ma-kun’s garbage and he caught her red-handed. Now he won’t talk to her. Yeah, a death sentence. To alleviate some of the gloom, Saki has a hand puppet of Ma-kun and explains how ventriloquism works. She has Assistant do ventriloquism on her Ma-kun hand puppet but gets annoyed when he says the wrong thing. But to thank him, she trolls him by preparing to give him a kiss. It’s just a hand puppet of Tejina! He can have it. After she leaves, Assistant peaks underneath the hand puppet’s skirt. White…

Episode 11C
Assistant is shocked when Ma-kun asks if Tejina has a boyfriend. You mean he is interested?! Actually, he saw her with another man another day. Although Assistant brushes it off, they all go tail her. At the family restaurant, they see her practising her failed magic trick and eat cakes by herself before rushing to the toilet in the convenience store. Nothing happens for half a day until this man, Mimura shows up. Assistant looking pretty worried. Real tailing begins. Ma-kun tries to analyse this dude. So he is some sort of porn director? They head to the mall and because they talk in ambiguous language like as though they are preparing for a porn shoot, Assistant is trying real hard to keep himself from going berserk. Especially when they hit the lingerie store! In the end, Assistant can’t take any more of this and tries to rescue her. It is revealed Mimura is Onee-chan’s husband and Tejina was helping him to shop for a birthday gift. Wow. What a big relief. Right, Assistant? Yeah, Mimura is actually a pretty nice guy. When Tejina hears what happened, she laughs it off. Assistant feels this is somehow scary.

Episode 12A
Assistant hears ambiguous sex porn coming from the clubroom. Of course as you would expect, it is just Saki teaching how to make balloon art. Since it is quite hard, Tejina is having fears twisting it. She somewhat gives up and her balloon turns out to look like a dick?! Eventually when she manages to do so, it pops and all that is left of her doggie balloon is now a cod roe. So sad…

Episode 12B
Tejina thinks of showing Assistant this shackle escaping trick. But after hiding behind the curtains and having not come out, Assistant takes a peep and behold! She’s not there? Is this a disappearing trick too? Actually she is hiding inside the closet and this is part of her plan to surprise him. However the locker is stuck and he already left. So you mean she is stuck in there for the entire day because come night fall as the guard comes in to inspect, the locker somehow opens and gives him a fright of his life! Woah! Who this sleeping babe?!

Episode 12C
Madara shows Assistant the power of science of freezing cola. Tejina feels a bit jealous he is having fun talking with her. This makes her wonder if he has been attending secret science meetings or something. Assistant tries to save Madara from something drop on her. As he falls on top of her, this gives Tejina the wrong idea. So now Tejina wants to impress by showing her magic? You could have guessed her cloth pulling trick fails. Now she’s all wet. Madara has them dry up using the fan. So cooling. Power of science rules. She is proud that they are praising science but soon Saki and Ma-kun shows up and Madara feels they have overstayed their welcome. Can you guys leave now?

Episode 12D
As Assistant is sleeping, Tejina thinks of doing some quiet magic trick. Can she? Because she almost flops doing her pigeon trick. Are the pigeons being horny today as they try to put her in ecchi situations? Luckily Assistant is still asleep so Tejina continues stacking cards on him. It is revealed he is pretending to be asleep and now he is in a lurch.

Episode 12E
Tejina’s to fight her stage fright, she wears a revealing bunny suit to be more embarrassed! But yeah, thanks. Because of her cleavage showing, Assistant can’t take his eyes of her boobs and didn’t see her magic tricks well. I guess you can say this is the basic of how magic tricks work, eh? Because of that, Tejina looks successful. See that great cup trick? Yup. Those are great cups alright! Truly amazing! Bravo!

Fanservice Senpai: The Magic Of Fanservice!
There you have it people. That’s all folks. That’s all the magic fanservice tricks we have for you today. Be sure to come back again next season for more amazing boobs magic tricks. Uhm… What’s that you say? You mean this series is cancelled and won’t be getting another season???!!! At least not in the foreseeable future?! Like WTF?! You mean those boobs didn’t do the trick?! Damn. It felt a bit weird that there is no ‘wrapping up’ episode and the last episode just felt like any other normal episode so I thought there’s going to be more. Yeah, I was wrong. I don’t know where I get that idea but I can understand and feel it is more or less the same how Tejina gets her baseless confidence from.

Basically with no real storyline to begin with and even each short episode is furthermore divided into short skits, this series’ comedic moments mostly deals with around the flaws of the characters. So you either love it or hate it that there is all to this series. Surely you’re not going to expect some sort of complicated story and back story, aren’t you? Just like a magician’s desire to entertain us, that is what this series is precisely set to do. No convoluted and twisted plots whatsoever. What you see is what you get. When show is over, you leave with a satisfied feeling of being entertained. So for me, they did that part well and with some skits only lasting a few minutes long, it does enough to deliver the punch line and the joke. Usually with Tejina flopping.

Tejina is probably one of those people who could have been good in doing something they love had not been that one little thing that prevents them from achieving such greatness. It might look funny that she suffers from stage fright seeing that she wants to be a magician, but remember, public speaking is the top phobia in the world. It’s like saying you want to be a doctor but scared of seeing blood. Nothing new or surprising but rather ironic. But the most important aspect is how Tejina doesn’t give up and I guess you have to give her credit for that. Again, there is only so much credit you can give her until she starts becoming annoying. An ‘A’ for effort and trying but don’t go overboard. Given an inch, take a mile…

Because Tejina is also a bit naïve, this also plays a part in why she gives us a lot of fanservice. Yes, people. It is like as though all her backfired magic tricks are supposed to lead to some fanservice. Or maybe they’re not planned and it serves as a backup. What I mean is that if you’re not impressed with Tejina flopping on the simplest magic tricks, at least we have some sort of consolation of her getting entangled in a fanservice situation. She’s probably hard up and would do anything to wow some audience that if Assistant wasn’t there to look out for her, she would have ended up in some shady porn shoot! I wonder if there is a secret DVD title, Porn-senpai… This one would definitely be magical!!! After all, she wants people to watch her, right? Sex sells, right? Voila!

We’d love to see the love prospects between Tejina and Assistant but if they do become a couple it will still be weird and more or less the same thing. There are lots of hints to see why the duo like each other like why Tejina keeps performing and flopping before Assistant is not because she thinks he is interested in her tricks but rather he is the only one around who would pay attention to them no matter how much they stinks. Assistant might give this lame excuse to accompany her lonely club till she graduates but we can see through the reasons why he sticks around. No, not waiting for the moment where he gets to touch her boobs or see her pantsu. Those are bonus points in which I believe he enjoys a lot too but I’m assuming nobody in class gives him much attention like Tejina does. She might be annoying bugging him to show him her tricks but at least she is HIS annoyance! So there you have it. A magician and her assistant with no audience to entertain have at least themselves to entertain. Hence Assistant’s role here is to play more of the straight man to Tejina’s foul ups. Definitely living up to his (nick)namesake. They could be a manzai comedy duo if they get bored of this magician thingy.

The rest of the other characters, I guess they are okay. It gives a little variety because we’ll be bored in seeing just Tejina and Assistant all the time. Hence the odd sibling pair of Saki and Ma-kun with the former with brother complex and the latter trying to look smart by being a mentalist but more often fails too. Technically the duo have better skills in their street balloon art than Tejina. But it’s the only trick I see them do although they excel at it. So is a one trick pony better than jack of all trades who flops hard? Last but not least is Madara who feels like a fringe character. She makes very limited appearance (only to be outdone by Onee-chan) and I thought she would at least be a regular like Saki and Ma-kun. But I guess magic and science don’t mix so can’t have science girl stealing away Assistant’s heart with science because dumb magic bloopers are better, no? And WTF is her fashion sense of wearing black tights under a lab coat? Is this her fanservice to us?

At and animation are okay. Nothing to really shout about and sometimes with all the bright visuals and hues as well as the character designs, it might look a bit cartoonish. Like Assistant with his droopy eyes somehow keep reminding me of that Droopy the dog cartoon character. And Ma-kun being so plum and chubby that he looks like he came out from a cartoon rather than anime. And does Tejina have fangs? For some reason, Tejina reminds me of Dagashi Kashi’s Hotaru. Just a lot dumber. Tejina and Saki’s boobs are so big that it looks like as though they stuck compressed balloons there. This series is produced by Lidenfilms who did Koi To Uso, Yamada And The Seven Witches, Kishuku Gakkou No Juliet and Hanebado.

For the voice acting, I only recognized Eri Kitamura as Saki. Her character might not be a totally b*tch character but I guess my stereotypic views of Eri Kitamura playing b*tch girls and ganguro type gals suit her voice perfectly. Kaede Hondo is the voice of Tejina (Sakura in Zombie Land Saga). While she does sound good as her character but I thought it would be ultimately perfect if Kana Hanazawa had been the one who helmed this role. At some points I think my head started envisioning and hearing Kana Hanazawa behind this character. Yeah, it would have been so epic for her to be in this role. The other casts are Aoi Ichikawa as Assistant (Eita in Just Because), Daisuke Namikawa as Ma-kun (Rock in Black Lagoon), Rie Takahashi as Madara (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimaru Isekai Seikatsu) and Himika Akaneya as Onee-chan (Yatsumura in Mahou Shoujo Site). The opening theme, Fantastic Illusion by Iris sounds weird. At least it starts off weird. Like Tejina. Before it becomes a generic idol pop piece. I somewhat prefer the ending theme, Dame Wa Dame by Minori Suzuki. It has this sultry and fanatic pace to it. Somewhat reflecting Tejina’s life, huh?

Overall, not the greatest magician in the world no mind blowing magic tricks were shown or explained, not the greatest comedy of the season because the jokes may look cheap and certainly not the greatest ecchi of the year because they feel forced and cliché for the jokes to be told. Not great fapping material but still good if you have nothing else. Just like Tejina’s magic, this series might miss the mark in a lot of areas but if you are not picky and a simpleton (like yours truly), you are sure to be entertained. And then a better show comes next season and you’ll forget all about this one. It would be magic and a miracle if this series gets another season. It’s the only way to keep the ‘magic’ alive, right? But I have seen all the tricks in her hand and up her sleeves as well as the way she thinks, I won’t be surprised any more. Time to drop in yet another magical fanservice. Yeah, it’s one trick that many of us won’t ever get tired of.

I believe the Senran Kagura franchise is very much popular in Japan and has a steady following till today. But I didn’t really count on having a sequel after 5 years after its TV debut back in 2013. Even if a single OVA 2 years later in 2015, I thought that was just a one off thing. And now, here it is. Senran Kagura Shinovi Master: Tokyo Youma-hen probably would appeal to hardcore fans as well as try to introduce newer ones to the series. I mean, after all these years and finally a sequel? Heh. Not the first series that waited for so many years to have another sequel. Because To Aru Majutsu No Index in that same season started its third season when its second season was way back in 2011! But anyway, maybe the creators need to widen their fan base for this ecchi series. That’s why suddenly out of the blue you have this sequel. The more the merrier, right? Oh, right. The more fans, the more money to milk… ;p.

Episode 1
Asuka and Yumi are out shopping together on Christmas. I guess our shinobi girls also need some time out and act like normal girls. Including buying lots of stuffs. On the other side, Homura’s side is working part time to get that turkey dinner and so as not to skip on their training too, WTF these quick foot tapping technique in public? After Asuka and Yumi are done and ready to head home, they realize a hairband accessory Asuka bought is missing. Time to split up and look for it. An excuse to show off their shinobi skills without the crowd even noticing. Meanwhile the other Hanzou girls are also returning from their shopping but are confronted by ninja girls from Gessen Girls Academy, Gekkou and Senkou. First they ask their thoughts on power and justice. I guess they didn’t like their answer so the only solution? Eliminate them! Yumi has found the lost present and calls Asuka. But looks like the meet up will be delayed as Asuka detects some youma in the alley and destroys them. Gekkou and Senkou mock how she was struggling to defeat the youma and decide that kind of justice is not needed. Yeah. Eliminate! Asuka loses to them as they are stronger and faster. However, upon learning to duo has got rid of her friends (that small piece of cloth was enough for Asuka to identify with?), Asuka gets mad and fights back. Unfortunately she gets beaten up even more. Wow. She really took a pounding there. I’m not sure if this is really the justice they’re talking about because I thought they wanted to eliminate her but just left her defeated there and not even making sure she’s dead or dispose her body.

Episode 2
Yumi can’t concentrate on her training as she remembers Asuka never met up with her. Suddenly an arrow is fired at her. No biggie to stop it but attached to it is an invitation to a spa resort. Obviously a trap but since her Death Cram girls are eager to go, I guess that’s your answer. Meanwhile the Hebi girls are on a mission to kidnap some evil politician, only to be interrupted by Miyabi’s side who is hired by the ugly baddie to protect him. Man, they fight until they’re naked? Until an arrow stops them. It seems Miyabi’s side was also to force this politician to confess his sins so it’s a win-win? Eventually all the shinobi girls arrive at the spa. Swimsuit fanservice galore as they have the entire resort to themselves. Haruka suggests a water gun game. With her special chemicals, the liquid will turn your swimsuit naked. You are out if you become totally naked and the last girl standing wins. Get ready to feast your eyes! I guess this would be all too familiar for those who played the game version of Peach Beach Splash. Eventually it is a draw since all of them got naked. Yeah, we viewers are the real winners! Then Gekkou and Senkou show up. So all this elaborated setup was just to see if they’re willing to participate in the strongest shinobi tournament, Shinobi Masters? So why would they go along with this plan? Because otherwise, these Hanzou girls will die! Now you know why the Hanzou girls never showed up, right? Details to be further furnished, so stay tuned. In the meantime, please hone your skills. You mean of the fanservice kind? Just kidding. As the rest noticed that Asuka wasn’t the only one captured, later it seems Yumi knows where to find Asuka. Glad she is okay, but Asuka doesn’t want her to enter Shinobi Masters. A sunken Asuka realized there is no justice for shinobi.

Episode 3
Asuka attacks Yumi and wounds her before escaping. Yumi is disappointed as Asuka was the one who taught her the meaning of justice. Meanwhile Suzune gives the green light to Miyabi to participate in Shinobi Masters as she is interested to know what Gekkou and Senkou are up to. Yumi talks to Homura about Asuka. They believe she has her reasons for doing so. Hence they are going to participate in Shinobi Masters to not only help the Hanzou side but to fight the best ninjas. Noticing Yumi’s wound, Homura suggests a visit to the hotspring to recuperate. And today’s fanservice of free tits flowing. Don’t mind Murakumo’s tits fondling logic for manga realism. Poor Mirai got insulted with her non-existent boobs. Meanwhile Fubuki has stumbled into the shrine of the Mikagura sisters, Renka, Hanabi and Kafuru. This means Kagura is around. Before they could fight, the loli shows up. Fubuki wants Kagura to participate in Shinobi Masters as the winner will get to fight to ultimate youma. Homura could sense Asuka around. Again Asuka tells her not to participate in Shinobi Masters. Homura somewhat understands her situation and that she wants to save her friends. But the only way they get through to each other is via fighting. And while Homura spouts about strength and friends, ironically it is Asuka who plays dirty tricks to eventually defeat her.

Episode 4
Fubuki proves herself that she could control a youma. Kagura transforms herself into her adult form to fight but everything is so fast that we can’t see. Yeah, we only see ripped clothes! When Kagura asks about Fubuki’s identity, she will only get her answer if she participates in Shinobi Masters. Homura is being treated by her comrades as they contemplate to pull out of Shinobi Masters. Yozakura finds a photo in a yearbook that proves Gekkou and Senkou are a student of Gessen, Yumi’s former middle school. So if you’re wondering why the need to show Yumi’s flashback with her grandpa, Kurokage and all the kindness he taught her, well, Fubuki also has a picture of him. Death Cram girls infiltrate Gessen but since Yumi is super famous, dress up in their school uniform and everyone leaves them alone?! They go about trying to find those sisters. Shiki, Minori and Murakumo talk to other students who praise the sisters as talented in everything as well as friendly. Something feels off, right? Yumi and Yozakura have found the sisters and tail them to the rooftop. Of course they know this stalking and before you know it, they fight. Their other friends come to aid them but Yumi won’t allow the fight to continue for fear this might hurt other students. This has the sisters mention her justice is pathetic. So their view that the weak has no justice is better? They believe they are the ones who will carry on Kurokage’s teachings. The date and venue of Shinobi Masters is confirmed. We see Yumi and Miyabi’s team attending as the sisters host this show that will be streamed live all over the shinobi network. Fubuki makes her opening speech that she organized this tournament and summoned strong shinobi from various schools to compete. Let the games begin!

Episode 5
With Kagura’s side joining Shinobi Masters, that makes the total number of teams participating… Wholly sh*t! Only 3 teams?! Man, I thought there was supposed to be 100 teams. Either the rest of the shinobi schools are not good enough or they just didn’t bother accepting this invitation. Also, Fubuki smokes out Asuka hiding but too bad she didn’t have an invitation so she can’t participate and can only watch. Homura’s side couldn’t participate since Haruka declined as they thought Homura won’t recover. As the rogue shinobi they are, they’re going to sneak in of course. Shinobi Masters is a round robin match. The first match pits Yumi’s side against Kagura’s side in this naked dodgeball. The bomb explodes upon slightest contact (except the special gloves) and gets you naked when it hits you. Ah… Whose team gets their captain naked first, loses. To cut things short, Yumi’s team wins. For the next match, it is Kagura’s side versus Miyabi’s side in this naked cavalry match. The team whose captain falls to the ground loses. But in the end, Kagura deliberately falls and loses the match. Meanwhile Suzune has detected youma appearing in Kikai Dome and all other ninjas have perished. Yup, only students left. No time for this Shinobi Masters. Luckily she stumbles into Homura’s side. They sneak around and find the other Hanzou girls but also realize there is a youma there too. The final match has Yumi’s team facing off with Miyabi’s team in this naked capture the flag game. You fall in the water, you’re naked and out. In short, Yumi’s side wins. But it’s not over yet as Yumi’s team will have to face Fubuki and the sisters. NOW! Yeah, so you complain you have no strength left to fight right now? Doesn’t this prove you aren’t the best shinobi team out there? And now Asuka wants to join in? And Fubuki allows it? When Yumi wants to fight alongside her, Asuka refuses. Time out. Time to talk things out. Yumi gives Asuka that present they shopped the other day. Yeah, more talk about justice, protecting smiles and all. But Asuka still doesn’t look convinced. She just allows her to fight alongside her. Wait. So it’s only Yumi and Asuka against Fubuki’s side? The rest really want to sit this out, huh?

Episode 6
We go back to another flashback of Asuka fighting Yumi. Oh dear. Not another dispute of their version of justice. So logic isn’t part of justice? Because it can’t change one’s hearts? So back to the tournament, Gekkou and Senkou take on Asuka and Yumi. Oh man. Not another ranting about their different version of justice and whatever the f*ck Kurokage’s teachings. So much so we have to return to that earlier Asuka vs Yumi flashback to see that moments before they are seemingly going to kill each other (because Yumi seemed desperate to do it all for grandpa), Kurokage intervened. And now back to the tournament. Oh damn, must we now hear some flashback from the sisters how they have to keep a perfect outlook but their hearts remained unfulfilled. Then one fated day, they stumble upon Kurokage’s diary and teachings and the rest is history. Wow. So touching that Yumi cried. Meanwhile we take a detour of Suzune and Homura’s side stumbling into Miyabi’s team so that they could join forces and face off with the youma. Yeah, this one is so humanoid and it talks! You mean to sound that surprised? Okay, but back to the tournament’s flashback. After Kurokage stopped the girls, he realizes there are things in life that are more important than one’s beliefs. He admits their defeat but it is Asuka who says her side has lost because the world of goodness is now in his arms. Yumi, that is. Hence Kurokage’s last lesson to Yumi is that the definition of justice changes on who you are and what you do. For her, she will be the justice that shines quietly in the night. She will be the justice of the moon. I hope there won’t be any mooning jokes related to this. Anyway, to show how much better our heroines’ justice are, they defeat Gekkou and Senkou and you know it is so when their clothes are blown away and they’re stark naked. With Asuka injuries making her unable to carry on, it’s up to Yumi to face Fubuki. But this leaves Asuka in despair as she worked hard to prevent them from facing off. All in vain?

Episode 7
But first a flashback between Kurokage and Hanzou. During their younger times, they’re like frenemies. Kurokage was also dating Yume at that time. One day, many of their comrades got injured in a trap so Kurokage was furious to avenge them. Despite warnings that his rage and hatred isn’t justice, Kurokage didn’t listen and went on to kill evil ninjas. He is summoned by his superiors and punished. They tell him that many shinobi are not good or evil but grey and neither. And what’s this about good and evil must sometimes work together? WTF logic?! I thought they’re enemies?! When the elders threaten to punish Hanzou and Yume, that is when Kurokage labels them as evil. Hanzou tries to talk to him but Kurokage is hell bent on proving his own justice and destroy all evil ninjas. And so he left walking this path with many good and evil ninjas targeting his life. Not sure how he even impregnate Yume but was it before? Because before you know it, many years later, his son and his wife died in a ninja mission. Yeah, Kurokage never even met them once and the first time was at their funeral. Regretting taking this path? He then spots Yumi his granddaughter. Man, it must be such a long time that his son even had a child. Anyway, Yumi somewhat knows about Kurokage since her parents and grandma often tell tales about him. See, after all these years, they still placed some faith in him. He decides to take in Yumi. After all, they have no other relatives. Back to the fight, it is not surprise Fubuki possesses Kurokage’s black fan. Yumi transforms into her true form. So you think this ice queen has a trump card? Zombie girl too has a trump card as she transforms into her dark queen form and easily defeats Yumi. At that point Yumi now remembers Fubuki. Kurokage subsequently took in another girl and they were like sisters. YOU MEAN YOU REALLY FORGOT THIS MOST IMPORTANT PART IN YOUR LIFE UNTIL NOW????!!!! Anyway with Yumi’s lost, Fubuki declares war on all shinobi. Good or evil, she will have her revenge. And she is going to do it with this intelligent humanoid youma, Rasetsu.

Episode 8
Miyabi has a grudge to kill youma because they killed her family. Fubuki puts some doubts in her mind asking her if she ever thought the youma had families too. She even has proof that the shinobi are the ones who attacked first. Thanks to Asuka interrupting, looks like they have to show that proof another time. Because Asuka is too weak to fight and hence Fubuki and Rasetsu leaving. Gekkou and Senkou want to come along but Fubuki abandons them. That look on her face says it all. Get out of my faces, b*tches! Meanwhile Asuka frees her buddies and you know they’re back together in no time with Katsuragi’s serial boob fondling. I don’t want to think that this is the method how the girls bond and get back. Suzune tells the girls about the door to another world opening. Shinobi leaders have sent their team there but after losing contact with them, it is feared they are dead. With Gekkou and Senkou leaving, Yumi tries to talk to them but there’s nothing to talk about. And since they have nothing to live for nor do they want to return to their original mundane life, they’re going to kill themselves. Thank goodness they contemplated long enough for Yumi to come stop them. Just say a few justice lines. Throw in something about Kurokage. Then a big hug and there you have it. Changed their mind. Now they wanna live. Easy. For now, Gekkou and Senkou are living in the care of the Hanzou girls. They feel awkward since they attacked them but the Hanzou girls are only mad at themselves for being weak and defeated. And what a better way than to say welcome to the club with Katsuragi’s usual boobs molestation. Overdrive mode! Meanwhile Asuka has been missing that day. Actually she went to see Kagura and requests that she wants to handle the youma alone. She allows it but wonders if Kagura can do it as she has yet to seal one. Not confident? Oh, let’s try now! Kagura summons a youma as Asuka quickly uses her super secret shinobi art to seal it, Fuma Korin. Woah. So easy! On her first go! So what’s there to worry about? Kagura warns that if she keeps using it, she’ll die. Oh… And looks like it has taken some toll on her body but Asuka remains defiant. She is willing to die if she has to. Trying to play the tragic heroine but won’t let others do the same? Elsewhere, Fubuki opens portals from another world right smack in the middle of Japan’s busiest city. Halloween’s here early. Or maybe hell on Earth.

Episode 9
Weird youma monsters attack the people. But thank goodness for our shinobi girls here to save the day and bust some youma ass. To fight better, Kagura unleashes some barrier. Just one condition: The girls are stripped down to their undies! Except for Ikaruga. She’s stark naked! You mean she isn’t wearing any undies?! Some fight better in skimpy clothes, some don’t and some just being perverts. Meanwhile Gekkou and Senkou confront Fubuki. They still believe in her but don’t approve of her method. What else? Fight! Oh well, we know how this will end up. For this huge youma boss, they use some BDSM string to tie it down because apparently that’s the toughest string in the world. Whatever. After doing so, the next part is to kill it but Asuka won’t allow it and instead leave it to her. Oh, I almost forgot she has that sealing ability. I thought she was going to take their credits or something. The Fuma Korin sealing is successful but it is clear that it sucks a lot of energy from her. In the aftermath as the city returns to normal, Homura’s groupie continue their part time Christmas gig. No business until Miyabi’s side cuts off more clothes and horny men start streaming in. You mean they’re already so sexy and nobody noticed until more cleavage and pantsu are shown?! PERVERTS! Miyabi and Homura talk about Asuka’s intention to seal instead of kill the youma. But if Asuka sides with the youma, Miyabi will not hesitate to kill her. Meanwhile Yumi sees Asuka in hopes she can open up and tell her what really happened. Back to that flashback of Asuka being defeated by Fubuki. She won’t be killed so as to tell others the tragic history of shinobi, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so horrible that Asuka cried and still decides she can’t tell Yumi after all. Since this is dragging its feet, I guess Fubuki is here to tell Yumi herself! After asking her about beliefs, justice and evil, Yumi still feels it is her duty to hunt and destroy evil youma. Enough talking. Fubuki will show you that youma can feel love. They feel a strange aura from Fubuki as she reveals she is a child born from a human and youma! Is that even possible?! At least that explains he weird appearance. Meanwhile Kagura senses a more dangerous portal to the other world opening soon. Where is it? Hotspring town. Ah…

Episode 10
So we’re all here at the hotspring. Eh? Fubuki is also here?! Awkward. She has nothing to say to them and she too doesn’t exactly know where the portal will open. Convenient? I guess this screws the mood of our shinobi girls. They can’t fight Fubuki in this manner or they’ll regret it. An excuse to have fun at the inn! More awkwardness because Fubuki and Yumi bath together at the hotspring. Fubuki still keeps a hairpin from Kurokage. I suppose it’s that time again for reminiscence of their past as ‘sisters’ before another guilt trip that her mom who was a youma was sealed with Fuma Korin and using this technique means you can never return to this world. In the end, it is either the shinobi or youma who will die in this final fight. Later, Kagura meets up with Fubuki to begin their fight. Meanwhile Asuka reveals to the rest about Fubuki being half human and half youma. While Miyabi doesn’t care and will kill youma (her mom was killed by one), the rest are conflicted because it is a shinobi’s job is to kill youma and if they disobey because they sympathize with Fubuki… But don’t worry Asuka, your comrades heard you story and you can assure they will back you up no matter what. That night when Yumi wants to talk to Asuka but she is no longer in her room. She goes out to find her but stumbles into Fubuki-Kagura fight. Yeah, it has dragged out this long. Just because Kagura got distracted with Yumi’s appearance, she lost! WTF?! Is this an excuse by Kagura to pass the baton to Yumi to defeat Fubuki? And Fubuki makes the villain’s 101 mistake by not killing them because she’ll let the youma do it. Yeah, if her hate is so deep for the shinobi, don’t you think she would have want to do it herself? Anyway, conveniently now it seems Fubuki knows where the portal is and is waiting for it to open. Here it comes…

Episode 11
Youma, youma everywhere. Killing them all will take forever. Unless you gather them up in one place and seal them. This is the idea Katsuragi had. She gathers a few shinobi girls and use them as bait because apparently youma are perverts too. With that, Asuka is able to use Fuma Korin on the entire bunch but this is wearing her out. Yeah, see that mark on her chest. It’s getting bigger. I wonder if Katsuragi will draw any pleasure from groping them. Asuka will continue using it because of this lame excuse that she wants to see it through the end. Whatever. It’s your call. And now we get a Yumi-Fubuki rematch. Of course it’s flashback time. We see Fubuki’s mom being targeted by the ninjas. After killing them all, the inevitable fight with her husband. No wonder a child like Fubuki was so confused and dismayed. Eventually father had to seal mother because it is the only way to save Fubuki (do they seriously believe the shinobi is going to let her live?) and that it is better than killing her. However the price to pay was he will use up his life force. Poor Fubuki was so traumatized in seeing this scene. I don’t think parents’ assurance of I-love-you is going to help. Before the other shinobi could get Fubuki, Rasetsu saves her. Too bad she is injured and cannot fully protect her. Luckily rogue ninja Kurokage was passing by and he agreed to care for her until Rasetsu’s injuries are healed. Fubuki is still mad and vows to kill all shinobi. Coincidentally, Kurokage too had that thinking once. Of course as we know the rest is history. When Rasetsu finally came back to claim Fubuki, Kurokage gave her the hairpin. I’m sure she doesn’t understand the meaning of hatred and forgiveness come in pairs. Now, Fubuki claims her goal is to eliminate all shinobi. Even if that means destroying everything and nothing left, that sense of accomplishment and revenge is all that matters. If that is the case, why did she not finish off Yumi when she had numerous chance? Why did she not get rid of Kurokage’s hairpin? Yeah, it mad Fubuki even madder. Time to fight some more.

Episode 12
Everybody is ganging up on Rasetsu. Hardly a fair fight but whatever. For some sympathy points, Asuka asks why Rasetsu is siding with Fubuki. Her mom once saved her life. Asuka is cool with that but as long as she targets the shinobi, I’m afraid she will still have to seal you. And hence begins the shinobi girls’ attack on Rasetsu. In order to show off their set of skills, we see them do a chain of combos on Rasetsu. Man, she must have taken a lot of damage before Asuka begins her Fuma Korin. But guess what? Rasetsu is so determined for power that she turns into a beast and breaks out of Fuma Korin! Okay, now what? But don’t worry. Homura can help lend her power to seal her. She has seen Asuka done it enough times to memorize. Wow. I’ve seen my dad do all the repairs over the house for years and I still can’t even hold a hammer correctly! So what is the deal that Asuka allows her to do Fuma Korin with her? They won’t die! Yeah… Meanwhile back to Fubuki and Yumi’s fight, it ends with Fubuki defeating her! Don’t count your chickens yet. And here is Gekkou and Senkou. They want to save Fubuki. How is holding her hands saving her? Feel the warmth? F*CK THIS JOKE! Now wonder Fubuki is mad! Are they serious?! Just to show their perseverance, they won’t let go. So did they die? Your guess is as good as mine. Yumi’s comrades arrive. But they won’t be fighting her because, wait for it, Yumi lives! Time for round 2. Elsewhere suddenly Miyabi turns into this part angel and part devil form to unleash her Fuma Korin power. And now she remembers mom’s teachings that if you fight for revenge, you can’t unleash your true power. And with the power of the trio, Rasetsu is finally sealed. But she has no regrets since she fought for Fubuki. And also to end things, Yumi defeats Fubuki for good. This time, she doesn’t kill her. Just left her lying in the snow. Probably it’s a good time to reflect on stuffs. Lastly, Kagura uses her awesome powers to seal the portal. Should have done this from the start! More good news (AKA conveniences) flow in with Suzune calling in saying everyone is safe at Kikai Dome and the matters here are settled. In the aftermath, we see our ninja girls celebrating Christmas their own way. Asuka and Yumi are out together. Somehow her mark has healed. You mean just like that? They stumble Fubuki in the streets. She returns the hairpin to Yumi. She doesn’t need it anymore. She is going to find her place in this world. Somewhere. Gekkou and Senkou follow her so that she won’t be alone. More cheesy philosophy of justice from Asuka and Yumi because, justice always prevails, right?

The Jus-tits Of Shino-bitches…
So Asuka was asking if Fubuki would organize another Shinobi Masters tournament because she didn’t get to fight her? Hey girl, you had your chance but you fluffed them. Besides, didn’t you and the rest of the other girls get to fight Rasetsu? Unlike you mini army, Fubuki had only 1 subordinate by her side so I guess while the boss fought each other, the rest of you had to be content in sharing your opponent. Thank goodness Fubuki didn’t give Asuka a reply. She just smiled. Because that is probably what she was thinking of this b*tch. Bye. Hope not to see you again.

Well, to be honest, I wasn’t really impressed with the plot. As I am not a big fan of the series, I don’t really know how to ‘appreciate’ the finer details (if any) of this series. Though, as far as my failing memory can remember, this sequel is a lot darker than the first season since it now involves the supernatural and the tragic story of a child that was conceived and caught between both sides. In that sense, that is ultimate the storyline of this season but that only comes halfway and I thought the first half felt like some sort of trolling.

You see, when they decided to have this Shinobi Masters tournament, it ended so fast and furious that I thought it was all some sort of time wasting sham. It was just an excuse for a lot of fanservice (something this series is famously known for) and didn’t contribute to anything important. Because why the f*ck would Fubuki organize such an important tournament but only a handful of shinobi schools attend? Like, what?! And this is supposed to be the best of the best tournament as claimed by Fubuki. Of course it was all a scam. And it felt like Fubuki also trolled us. I believe she isn’t all that evil and just wanted to give a chance for the shinobi girls to prove her wrong. Yeah, their weak ass pussies wasted those chance and now look at the mess that we’ve got into in the second half. I also thought the Tokyo youma-hen was also a scam thinking the Shinobi Masters tournament would last the rest of the series. Looks like they leave it late for the second half.

I was wondering why the series is officially called Shinovi Masters. Shouldn’t it be Shinobi Masters as said in the episode or whatever? At first I thought it was a Japanese thingy because you know, there are no alphabet ‘V’ in their language and anything with that automatically translate to ‘B’. So are they trying to sound unique? Or is this some sort of play of words. You know, Shinobi Victory. Shortened as Shinovi. Yeah. Whatever.

To my surprise, Asuka and her Hanzou comrades weren’t the ones hogging the limelight. Because the first season they were the main characters, I was also expecting them to helm the similar role. Too bad it was mainly Yumi and ultimately Fubuki. A showdown between the stepsisters. Like I said, I’m not a fan of the series so I am not sure if the games slowly shifted the main character to Yumi or if Yumi was the real main character in the first place. Therefore with Asuka’s baffling behaviour in the first half, it makes her look like a total b*tch because it looked like she was told some sort of hideous secret and she doesn’t want to tell her friends (and us) just so that she could shoulder the burden all by herself. Ooooh. How noble. Yeah, don’t kill the youma! They have feelings too! Why does this feel so SJW?

Evidently Asuka’s actions just prove she doesn’t even trust her own comrades. Oh heck, her Hanzou comrades were further reduced to damsel in distresses in the first half. We are left to guess what the f*ck her problem is (the way she plays and exaggerates it out feels so overblown so that we could have our dramatic effect) and when it is revealed this youma and sealing thingy, I was like, “Big deal! WTF?!”. So all that trouble and secrecy just for this? Now you’re really trying to play the tragic heroine, huh? Yeah, just hope it doesn’t kill you because I know it won’t. Plot convenience and Asuka, do you not know you are one of the most beloved characters in the franchise? Yeah, top 10 most popular. Like hell the producers are going to let you die! But the ultimate f*ckery is when Asuka’s mark suddenly goes away. She still feels pain but I feel it is more of because her flesh wound has yet to heal but the danger of the mark that puts her life at risk is gone. So no more youma, no more sealing, less use of Fuma Korin and thus healed for the better? Man, I wished my nagging injury would also heal like that. Did she go for some sort of special acupuncture because I wanna try too. Otherwise with Asuka’s boobs back to normal, I suppose Katsuragi can be happy to grope them all she wants.

Thus Yumi seems like a cooler and more mature character and hence a much better one compared to Asuka. She might not be perfect but at least she tries and never gives up. We couldn’t understand why Asuka was wallowing in depression either. Perhaps we understand Yumi because her past with Fubuki is fleshed out and given more prominence. So we understand her cause more. We sympathize with her more. Hence relegating Asuka and her Hanzou comrades to just annoying minor characters who don’t matter. The one thing that boggles me about Rasetsu is that, after she picked up Fubuki from Kurokage, where the heck have they been? The first time we see Rasetsu, it’s like she is in some stasis condition. So ever since then up till now don’t tell me she was using some sort of power to open the youma portal. Yeah, that sure took a pretty long time since Fubuki is all grown up to be one busty evil babe.

Just like the other shinobi girls like Homura’s groupie and Miyabi’s groupie. Yeah, too much for us to even care. So if you are great fans for these girls, too bad they don’t get a lot of screen time. Even if they do, it just feels like they had to and portray their character in the most cliché way that we identify them (for example, Mirai always conscious and being teased with her flatness, Katsuragi always loving to grope and Ryouna an obvious nympho). Yeah, that’s the problem when you have like 20 girls (25 if you count Kagura’s group) in the fore and so little screen time to do any justice. I’m sure nobody is going to expand this to a year’s worth of Senran Kagura episodes because I’ll be so bored and I can only see that such girls who will be focused, their episode would mostly be a filler.

I thought that Yumi, Fubuki, Gekkou and Senkou seemed to be f*cked by their Kurokage oujisama’s ideology. The way the girls preach about his teachings sound like he is the best teacher in the world. Honour must be upheld. Justice must be upheld. There are always 2 sides of a coin. Live the way you see fit. Not that he says all those but you get the gist of this. So it’s like when these girls clash because of their different interpretations of Kurokage, I thought that old geezer really did one on these girls too. I mean, he was a rogue ninja so there is no specific method he sticks to. But still, every time the girls mention about Kurokage’s teachings, I’m like, “Oh no. Here they go again mentioning this old geezer’s name”. Say that again, that sword and shield thingy…

But I just don’t understand the logic behind the shinobi world. I don’t know. Their code seems to sound a lot like BS to me. Like the good and bad shinobi. They’re always fighting each other but there are those also in the grey area. And then when a bigger threat comes, they must put aside this rivalry and fight for the better. Like, WTF???!!! So why are they fighting each other in the first place?! I understand different schools have different methodology but shouldn’t they be working together if their goal is to actually annihilate the youma? So what the f*ck is with this good and bad shinobi faction thingy?! I just don’t get it.

And I’m sure they want to give Fubuki some sort of revenge story for this season. But how the heck did a child born out of a human and youma happen in the first place?! Yeah, they want to show us that love knows no bounds. One heated night of passion. But wait. Think about our future. Our child’s future. Will she be accepted by both sides? Nah. Just f*ck it. Let’s leave that for later. And that is how the tragic story of Fubuki was born. Born to watch both her parents kill each other and now she wants revenge on all of you. They want us to feel sympathy for Fubuki’s case as they claim youma also feel love, blah, blah, blah. You mean humans don’t feel love? Sure, a lot of them are pieces of sh*t. I can say the same for youma in that case. So that’s why when shinobi are grouped into good or evil, eventually it doesn’t matter. Because even though it is wrong for Fubuki to classify all shinobi as evil and must be eliminated, it still makes the good and evil shinobi kinda redundant. I guess they want to have some sort of grey area to make us confuse and unsure who to support. Fubuki or the shinobi girls. Of course the latter! They are a hell lot sexier than this bad goth makeup girl.

Still, it is mind boggling that it makes you wonder if deep down inside Fubuki’s heart she still loves her sister because with so many chances and times that Fubuki owns Yumi, only in the final episode that Yumi is able to defeat her. Like after how many times?! And because of that, the day is saved?! What kind of plot convenience logic is that?! All the villain needs to do is to be defeated once by the hero and it doesn’t matter how many times the heroes lost before (just an excuse to become stronger) all you need is that one chance of victory. Usually it comes in the final or penultimate episode. Wow. I’m so good I should start writing scripts for the next season.

As you would have guessed, the fanservice plays the biggest part and is a trademark signature of the series. It isn’t Senran Kagura when the girls are not showing their tits or getting naked one way or another. It makes me wonder if they have so many same uniforms and clothes because each time they get into any sort of battle, guarantee their clothes will be ripped. Absolutely. It’s like as though they are obligated to be ripped so their boobs can be exposed just for the sake of it. Shouldn’t they have tried getting better materials for their clothes? Man, their clothes are going to be the most expensive and recurring expenditure on their list. But I guess it is better that their clothes get ripped than seeing unsightly damages and wounds on the perfect silky smooth skin on our shinobi ladies. Yup, somehow their skin manage to stay safe always despite the amount of powerful blasts they take. Maybe their clothes (no matter how skimpy) absorb all the force and that’s why they always rip at the slightest. Yeah. Whatever. But thanks for the fanservice, girls. Keep on fighting!

This means that the action bits are closely and always tied to the fanservice. Every time the shinobi girls need to give us some action, this also means fanservice action. Yeah. That’s the only way their clothes could come off fast. Unless it is hotspring or bathing, the action sequences are directly correlated with this cheap sleaziness. I believe every shinobi girl has their own unique technique/ But too bad they aren’t memorable because too many characters and not enough screen time. And for those who are supposedly ‘their turn’ to shine, make some sort of ridiculous move that I can’t remember. Maybe except for Yumi because her techniques are ice based so she keeps using ice attacks. I think. But overall the moves are mostly flashy, over the top and outrageous, that’s for sure. Didn’t spend years training that skill for nothing, eh?

Animation and art feel only mediocre. I don’t really remember the original one but this season feels like it is just passable and that they want to focus on the fanservice, thinking that this is what fans are for. Especially during the action scenes. They think it’s too fast for us to catch and that our eyes are only focusing and anticipating where the cloths cover the boobs will rip. Well, too bad I saw some of those low quality movements. Heck, I think some of the idle scenes feel inconsistent. Maybe it is because TNK now taking over from Artland but that shouldn’t be the case since TNK animated all the seasons of High School DxD series and other ecchi series like Sin: Nanatsu No Taizai, Ikkitousen: Xtreme Xecutor and Kenzen Robo Daimidaler. This isn’t definitely one of their best.

This season’s opening theme, Scarlet Master by Sayaka Sasaki sounds more like a techno dance song with all the techno effects and exuberance. Because of that, I feel the singing falls flat and sounds really flat. Like as though it is sung just for the sake of singing. Too many words trying to match the beat of the music makes it really one messy song to hear. Maybe it fits the pacing of the series (because fast paced fanservice action) but I don’t find it really appealing. The ending theme is Junsei Erotic and sounds more like a happy rock song. It should be since it is more fanservice time with its animation having the girls having fun in the hotspring. I didn’t know being shinobi girls allows them to have a lot of fun time together. Perhaps. It’s not like they can have a normal life and mingle with normal girls outside their school, right? Then there is one BGM that is a solo harmonica. Often played for those cheesy flashback moments. Don’t know. Makes it feel like some wild west flick. So out of place.

Overall, I am not sure if hardcore fans would even appreciate this. I have a feeling that if you really want to appreciate the fanservice (of course, it’s the only reason why you would stay for this title, right?), go play all the instalments of the game. They should have named this season as Tokyo Pantsu-hen(tai) or something. My biggest speculation remains is that they want to introduce this series to the new generation of weeaboos because 5 years is a long enough time for things to change in life. But I guess the allure of fanservice from boob shots to pantsu shots have never changed since the day anime was born. The eternal grey area and line that should be fought over is the war of good porn and bad porn! Oh, who am I kidding? Porn is always bad and must be eliminated, right?!

Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san

December 8, 2018

A normal human boy with some sort of supernatural powers arrive to live in a haunted dorm filled with a variety of supernatural creatures. Hmm… Where did I hear this before? Oh well, if not for the obviously eye-catching and fanservice laden nature of the series, I would have skipped Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san. Having the supernatural theme isn’t my cup of tea any time of the day but that is not the case when they put in sleazy and cheap fanservice shots so that gullible target audiences like yours truly could brush aside the supernatural stuffs and watch with that perverted smiling face with all the boobs shots and crotch shots this series has to offer. Ah, nothing is scarier than a perverted otaku being perverted. Oh sh*t, I might give others a wrong impression of me… Need to quickly restore my reputation and- Oh look! Sexy pantsu shot in full view now!

OVA 1
As narrated, Yuragi-sou was once a hotspring inn but now serves as a boarding house for the supernatural. This OVA also serves as a ‘great’ introductory episode as we are introduced to the great bare tits and crotch shots of Yuuna Yunohana sleeping with lucky dude, Kogarashi Fuyuzora. However ghost girl gets embarrassed upon realizing this and her poltergeist powers go berserk, hence your excuse for Kogarashi to be beaten up or thrown out of the room. We are introduced to other characters like the caretaker of this inn, Chitose Nakai. Your typical slutty drunkard in the morning, Nonko Arahabaki. Your typical strict man hater girl, Sagiri Ameno. Your typical cat girl, Yaya Fushiguro. Sighs, I wonder if this is going to be a thing of this series. It isn’t Kogarashi’s fault he gets into some fanservice situation so he gets owned by them. Except for Yaya. Sleeping nicely on the roof, Yuuna slips but as Kogarashi tries to save her, she realizes as a ghost she could float so he only falls off himself. Still, Kogarashi gets the pain. Later Yaya’s cat has Kogarashi follow it to a sakura tree in full bloom. This is part of the girls’ preparation to welcome him to the inn. I guess this is their way of seeking forgiveness from all the beating up despite being a newbie. Yeah, here’s to more future beat downs! One day as Kogarashi cleans the bath, tanuki girl Koyuzu Shigaraki is still sleepy. Accidentally she uses her powers to turn him into a body soap. As Nakai puts her back to bed, Yuuna takes this chance to bath. Guess what? Kogarashi isn’t just the bottle but the foam bubbles as well! Yup, he could feel himself all over Yuuna’s body! Then the other girls stream in and start doing the same. Absolute heaven! If you’re dirtier than usual, you’ll see those white foams slipping around as semen… HOLY SH*T!!!! So when the girls are done, they soak in the hotspring as they talk how much ‘likeable’ Kogarashi is. But it is hell now for Kogarashi as he could also feel the devastation of himself flowing away into the drain. He fears he might disappear if he is all used up. But no worries. Koyuzu thinks she has used her power and cancels them just in case. Kogarashi is happy he has turned back and didn’t realize he is in front of the naked girls. Time for divine punishment. It’s so noisy that Koyuzu is complaining she can’t sleep. I wonder whose fault it is…

Episode 1
Kogarashi arrives at Yukemuri, eager to start his new life. As a medium with psychic powers, he saves an old couple from a mischievous ghost. Apparently he is staying at Yuragi-sou despite knowing it is haunted because the rent is dirt cheap. As he enjoys the hotspring, he is confronted with Yuuna. He didn’t expect her to be a busty sexy ghost. But Yuuna is shocked she could see him (double meaning here) and throws all the buckets till he passes out. He wakes up on the lap of Nakai as he is introduced to the other girls. When they learn the room he is living in, they wish him good luck. In his room, Yuuna’s butt is sticking out of the wall?! If she’s hiding, she’s bad at it. She asks him to describe and is somewhat glad. Because others only see her as a white spectre. As a ghost bound to this room, Kogarashi is in a dilemma whether to exorcise her. He has this policy of not punching girls and the only exorcism he knows is punching the hell out of the ghost. Yeah… Oh, since she is bound to this room, looks like he has to sleep with her. Conveniently she can touch things that she wants to. Later that night she asks him of his reasons coming here. Since young, he was susceptible of getting possessed by spirits. Until one day some spirit possessed him to do insider trading, causing massive financial losses, debts and homelessness for him. His idea of defeating evil spirits is to get back his old life. But Yuuna is glad he came here because he isn’t afraid of her and is able to talk to him normally. As he tries to ask about her lingering regrets because at this rate she might go to hell, a mouse sneaks in causing Yuuna to go berserk. Ah, Kogarashi gets his first taste of being thrown out. Next day when he is out, this Gouma monk of the Gudon Clan, Tsujishouten Sekkan sneaks in and tries to forcefully exorcise her. Is this his mission or does he have a personal grudge against lingering spirits? But Yuuna doesn’t want to go the heaven yet as she has just made a friend. Yeah, she must say Kogarashi’s name because luckily he came back and heard it all. Kogarashi frees her and punches the monk out. Thankfully he is physically weak. Kogarashi vows to help her resolve her regrets, moving her to tears. Because he accidentally touch her boobs, she sends him flying again. He lands in the hotspring where all the other girls are conveniently bathing. It doesn’t help when Yuuna explains that he touched her boobs. Having second thoughts about exorcising her?

Episode 2
Kogarashi wakes up flying in the sky! Damn Yuuna’s power. It’s a long fall! During breakfast, Nonko tries to flirt with him and this gives excuse for Sagiri to threaten him of his lewdness despite it isn’t his fault. Sekken returns with his clansmen to exterminate all of them. Because his members too can’t harm women, he tells them to capture them and use them for their whatever training. Pervy monks… We see the girls in action as well as their true form. Like Sagiri who is a demon slaying ninja, Nonko an ogre whose strength increases the more she drinks, Yaya summoning her giant cat god to ‘play’ with the monks and finally Nakai is a zarashiki warashi who manipulates luck. With all the monks having their issues resolved, they have no more reason to exorcise and return home. Kogarashi wants some of this luck too but is warned that this ability has one using up their entire lifetime’s luck. So hopefully those monks don’t run out of them in one shot. Now Kogarashi has to bear in mind not to cross these girls’ path or he’ll end up in heaven first before Yuuna. Next day, good news Kogarashi isn’t sleeping in the sky. Too bad Yuuna’s ass is in his face! Oh the usual again. Later he picks up a cat in the inn but to his surprise it is Yaya. Another excuse for Sagiri to kill him with Yaya putting it ambiguously that he was groping all over her body. And so Sagiri and Yaya sign a petition to evict him. Nakai suggests resolving this via their house rules. They have to battle each other out and the loser must listen to the winner’s wish. That battle is ping pong! Kogarashi is skilful thanks to being possessed by a ping pong coach ghost while Sagiri can clone herself. It’s a tough match and a close one. So at match point, desperate Yuuna shows Kogarashi her undies so that her power could go berserk, float everything and technically make the opponents’ ball out. Yeah, everything gets thrown everywhere afterwards. Since it is Kogarashi’s win, the duo promise never to evict him but warn if he ever harms them, getting evicted would be the least of his worries. He vows he won’t but slips and has his hands somehow on their boobs. Kogarashi is a sturdy guy, right?

Episode 3
Yuuna wakes up panicking because Kogarashi isn’t around. Don’t worry. Today is his first day of high school. So she goes to his school and not surprisingly nobody else but him could see her. I guess it’s better than seeing a floating white spectre. In class he makes friends with Satoshi Hyodo. Lucky for them, perhaps the cutest girl in town, Chisaki Miyazaki is also in the same class. Curious Yuuna flips up her skirt. WTF everybody blames Kogarashi even though he is clearly not in that position to do so! Yuuna tries to think and materialize the school uniform but ends up naked. This has her power going berserk and float everything in class for a while. So during class introduction, Kogarashi explains himself as a medium as to apologize for that incident. As expected, everyone laughs (except Chisaki) thinking it’s an excuse to cover up his perversion. Later Chisaki talks to him. It looks like a confession scene but it turns out she has been experiencing supernatural phenomena in her home like her stuffed dolls floating around. He agrees to help her. In her room, Kogarashi starts punching the dolls! Of course this looks no more than violence to Chisaki so she punches him. As Kogarashi didn’t feel anything from the dolls, he believes the culprit must be controlling them from somewhere. A doll frightened Yuuna and causes her power to go berserk. This means having Kogarashi ending up on top of Chisaki like as though he is raping her. Not surprisingly, she kicks him out and thinks he is a bogus. That night, the dolls rip off Chisaki’s clothes like as though they gonna rape her???!!! Lucky Kogarashi is here to save the day. He has been waiting for this moment. With Yuuna sniffing out the spirit line, they confront the culprit at the park who then unleashes a giant monster. However Kogarashi punches it out! The culprit shivers in fear and begs for mercy as she turns into her true form: Koyuzu?! As explained, coming from the tanuki tribe, their goal is to assimilate into human society. She failed and has been living an abandoned temple until she saw Chisaki. It seems she has what Koyuzu lacks: Boobs! I guess everybody else in town must be flat, huh? She thinks boobs maketh a woman and hence success. She thought she was done for when a medium showed up and wanted to see Chisaki’s boobs for one last time. I guess Koyuzu is a girl so Chisaki allows her. Itadakimasu! She’s admiring it so much that Kogarashi had some too. Yeah, blame him… Eventually Koyuzu is taken to live in Yuragi-sou. Yup, she is now excited with all the big boobs that she can play with all the time. As thanks for his troubles, Chisaki bakes him cookies.

Episode 4
Sagiri is part of the Chuuma Ninja Army who exorcise bad ghosts at night. She is also in the same school as Kogarashi and after hearing his ‘heroics’ from Yuuna, she has no choice but to ask for his help for this next mission. There is a spirit that is terrorizing couples at a park at night. Yeah, a mysterious fog will dissolve their clothes. Hence they are going in as a couple to lure it out. Yeah, I can foresee some naked hijinks later… Kogarashi jokes she isn’t feminine enough, that’s why the fog isn’t coming out. Surprisingly she admits it due to her upbringing. So any suggestions? Holding hands. Hey, you asked. Just about then the fog envelopes them. So that was enough to determine them as a couple? Kogarashi’s punch blows away the fog, allowing Sagiri to slay the spider spirit. Of course at this point they’re naked and close to each other. You know what will follow next… It’s a shame their clothes are in tatters but Kogarashi compliments she looked cute in them. Tsundere… But that didn’t stop her from trying one in her room and feeling the dilemma of wearing them. Kogarashi learns a cat god possesses a host in exchange for powers. But this one doesn’t seem to possess Yaya fully. But they love each other. With Nakai away for an association meeting for a few days, looks like the gang are starting to really miss and appreciate her cooking. So you’ve got cat food, snacks and even poison foods for their meals. It’s amazing they are still alive. Finally Kogarashi cooks some grilled fish (thanks to some chef possessing him gave him that experience) and they rejoice having taste a good meal in days. Because of that, Yaya now follows him everywhere. Everywhere. Sleeping and bathing! If she had only said she wanted to eat the grilled fish again, it would have been so much easier. Thus Kogarashi cooks a bunch of them this time. But it’s not only for Yaya herself as she also feeds her cat god. Purr of approval. So once in a while when he sees Yaya following him around, you know it’s that time again.

Episode 5
Chisaki is curious about communicating with Yuuna. Don’t worry about Kogarashi having to be their translator every time. Yuuna can write to her! Remember, she can touch things she wants to. Yeah, they really got lots of things to talk about, erm, I mean write about. Chisaki flusters upon learning the duo live in the same room. As she can’t concentrate in class, she gets detention after school. With Yuuna asking permission to feel her uniform so she can imagine and materialize it, Chisaki allows Yuuna to strip her. Fanservice cue. I guess Chisaki must be thrilled about being stripped and felt without being able to see, eh? Just like being blindfolded, huh? Once done, the cliché moment of Kogarashi to come in. He startles the girls and they end up in an ambiguous lesbian position. You know what’s coming next for him… Yuuna is able to make the uniform. When Chisaki tries to take a picture, of course she looks like a typical scary poltergeist. I don’t think editing a little makes her look cute… Nonko is also a mangaka and her editor, Rui Harashima is here and it could only mean that her deadline is tomorrow morning. Hence Kogarashi is roped in to help since Nonko’s assistant is recovering from an accident. Don’t worry, Kogarashi has experience as he was possessed by a mangaka ghost before. As they start work, Nonko complains about the cliché manga that she is the creator of! For photo reference, Nonko cosplays and also does the same to Kogarashi and has Rui snap away. It’s all part of the job so I guess Kogarashi obeys to whatever Nonko tells him. Even if she makes it look like a rape scene. They would have done more had they not realize it is already midnight. Time to work on the manuscript. As it is progressing well, Kogarashi learns Nonko was once a demon slayer. One day she messed up on her mission and almost died. That was when she thought if she has lived her life to the fullest. Hence why she drinks and have fun, etc. She thinks in the end maybe she’s just running away. They finally finish early morning and Nonko who has not touch alcohol since working immediately starts drinking. She also starts stripping and flirting with Kogarashi and wants everyone else to join in. I guess she deserves letting her hair loose. But this wild?

Episode 6
There is a secret Nakai wants to keep from the rest. It seems she goes to school! Kogarashi almost finds out so she has to manipulate some of her luck to whisk him away. Because of using good luck, bad luck will follow for a while. Vice versa. Nakai revels the normal school life and talking to her friends. I guess this must be the first time she is doing it because people would find it strange if she never progressed a grade. When she is eating with her friends, a couple of punks try to hit on them. Lolicons! They get rough when the girls reject them so Nakai uses her luck manipulation. Oh look. It’s Kogarashi here to teach them a lesson! Thankfully he didn’t see her face and goes off. Nakai returns to Yuragi-sou, blessed that there is no better luck than meeting somebody special. Uhm, did nobody realize Nakai was missing from the inn? Especially those who stay indoors there all the time like Nonko? Yeah, probably drunk at this hour. Nakai gives Kogarashi and Yuuna a ticket to a nearby amusement park, Yunowal. They realize too late it’s like a setup for a date but Kogarashi believes this could help find Yuuna’s lingering regret. The problem is, the ticket is for couples. The receptionist cannot see Yuuna. It is amazing how Kogarashi managed to convince them to let ‘them’ in. Didn’t want to make a scene, huh? Hey, I have an invisible girlfriend, can I come in too?! But when they try to do stuffs, they are mostly reserved for couples. Thankfully they are rejected. Many think Kogarashi is just a desperate loner. I guess they can’t do couple stuffs. Yuuna tries the water slide. The oddest part is how her top breaks off! I thought she materializes her bikini so why the f*ck did it break?! I know it’s to give us fanservice of her riding on Kogarashi topless but even if you say Kogarashi bought that bikini for her, wouldn’t it be freaky when other people see a floating bikini around???!!! DOESN’T MAKE SENSE THIS PART!!! Anyway Kogarashi passes out and wakes up in the resting room in Yunowal. They head to hotspring. I guess the only place not on couple promotion. Yuuna is thankful for him helping out and feels she can rest in peace. Kogarashi’s starts thinking about Yuuna ascending to heaven but can’t help feel sad about it.

Episode 7
Genshiro Ryuuga is indiscriminately trying to take women as his bride? If not for his retainer, Oboro, he might have taken the entire town. It seems they aren’t just finding him any woman but one that possesses strong spiritual powers. Oh no. I think I know who fits the bill. Speaking of which, Yuuna and Koyuzu are passing by and he is taken in by her power and doesn’t mind even if she is a ghost. Thanks to that, he grabs her and wants to hurry back to his castle to prepare for their wedding. Yuuna protests and Koyuzu adds fuel to the flame about a certain guy who ‘defiles’ her every night. Not accurate but can’t say she’s wrong either. Yuuna reluctantly agrees to go with him otherwise Oboro might have disposed of Koyuzu who tried to stop them. Thank goodness for Kogarashi and Sagiri passing by as Koyuzu tells them what happened. No need to hesitate. They’re going to save her. Yeah, screw whatever protocols. Even if Genshiro is a Black Dragon God who resides at Shinano Lake. Human or god, whoever messes with this harem is going to get it from Kogarashi. Right? So we see Genshiro putting various cosplay outfits on Yuuna. So this is his fetish? So human-like perversion… Hmm… For a bounded ghost, she is sure taken very far away. Unless Shinano is just next door… With Yuuna still opposing the wedding, Oboro thinks it is because she has a special relationship with Kogarashi. Yuuna denies and elaborates the trouble she brings to him. Thus Oboro reasons this is the more a reason for her to marry Genshiro and for Kogarashi’s sake too. That’s starting to sound logical… Our saviours have arrived. Inside the cave, Sagiri transforms into her skin tight ninja outfit. Like as though she come from some futuristic sci-fi? Cue for a little fanservice because the duo have to hide and a cramped space when guards are passing. Eventually Sagiri will sneak in to find Yuuna while Kogarashi distract Genshiro. Too bad he took the direct approach as he calls him all names at his front door just to be captured. Before Genshiro, Kogarashi isn’t scared to tell him he wants Yuuna back.

Episode 8
Genshiro claims the form is not important as there are legends of gods and ghosts bonding. Because he is troubled of whatever ecchi things they did, Kogarashi uses this to troll him so as to buy Sagiri time. Although Sagiri finds Yuuna, because she took too long talking to her, Oboro attacks her. Koyuzu is forced to escape by herself when Oboro also targets her. Eventually Sagiri loses and is presented to Genshiro as his concubine due to her spiritual powers. Hmm… Sexy ninja girl. He approves! Yuuna pleads with Genshiro that she will marry him so her friends can go home. Like hell Kogarashi is going to accept that while tears are streaming down her face. Hence he angers Genshiro by saying he takes baths with Yuuna. So mad that dragon guy, he kicks Kogarashi away. Could have flown to the moon if not for the cave ceiling. Could have died but he didn’t. He then gives Genshiro his ultimate Falcon Punch that could really send him flying to the moon! Apparently he was possessed by a ghost strong like One Punch Man. He just can’t hit women. Oboro fights Kogarashi as she remembers the task she was given to take care of Genshiro and make the clan great again. Kogarashi can’t fight against her upon realizing she is a woman. So it’s all in the mind? This allows Oboro to slash him like hell (although there seems to be no effect). But her slashing is stopped by the bare hands of Nonko. Koyuzu brought them when they arrived at the cave entrance after Sagiri left them a message. Only Nakai didn’t come as her luck manipulation might bring great disaster around the area. Kogarashi tells Oboro there are other ways to make the clan stronger. Oboro agrees but would Genshiro? Kogarashi has a plan. When Genshiro wakes up, Oboro tells him his kick vaporized him. So powerful that it messed with his memories of being punched away. She shows Yuuna and Sagiri ascending to heaven because they are satisfied with his love. Sagiri a ghost girl? Anyway this is the illusion done by Koyuzu’s magic. Oh, Genshiro believes it! Now our Yuragi-sou tenants can go home happy. Next morning, Kogarashi wakes up with his hands over someone’s boobs. Too small to be Yuuna’s. It’s Oboro! She’s not here to kidnap Yuuna. In her bid to make the clan strong, she will have a child with Kogarashi. So she’s officially part of his harem, right?

Episode 9
Chisaki is invited to visit Yuragi-sou and has heard lots of haunted stuffs. The moment she opens the door, she sees Oboro tying to rape Kogarashi. Luckily it is explained as the other girls welcome her. Sagiri feels she lost feminine points to Chisaki and tries to match her girly outfit? With the visit now turning into a sleepover, Chisaki helps make dinner and then go soak with everyone in the hotspring. She learns why Oboro’s assault on Kogarashi so she virtual signals. Technically, what Chisaki said is also true. During bedtime, Yuuna lets Chisaki feel all over her body. Koyuzu wants to talk about love but since Chisaki doesn’t have one (really?), Koyuzu wants to know how to seduce men. Her abilities are still unpolished. So under the pretence of wanting to study, the duo agree to help her out. This means wearing sexy outfits and in ambiguous positions? I want to learn too. Deep into the night as they sleep, Chisaki feels Yuuna sleeping all over her (in an indecent manner to boot). This has her think of all the immoral stuffs Yuuna and Kogarashi might do together. Speaking of him, he is back early. So tired he just falls asleep. Chisaki is now too conscious as she is sandwiched between them and Kogarashi’s sleeping face too close to hers. She tries to get out but Yuuna clings onto her. Is Yuuna molesting Chisaki in her sleep thinking this is Kogarashi?! WTF. This causes Chisaki’s boobs to fall onto Kogarashi’s sleeping face. As she tries to get out, he thinks it is Yuuna and accidentally grabs her panties. Now her butt is exposed. Sleepy Koyuzu thinks this is a dream and fondles her boobs, causing her to slip and her butt sitting on Kogarashi’s face. This wakes him up and surprised to see Chisaki here. Chisaki can’t move and pretends to sleep. Fearing the worse that Kogarashi might make a move on her, but Kogarashi covers the blanket over her. This is when Oboro comes in to have sex with him but he declines. Not because she has no boobs, tomboyish or not human. He will only do so with the person he loves. Oboro accepts and leaves. Until he loves her. Well, taking a look at the pecking order, that might that a while… Next day as Chisaki leaves, she leaves a note for Yuuna that leaves her quite embarrassed. It is to refrain from clinging to people when she is asleep and naked otherwise someday this might turn on Kogarashi.

Episode 10
Looks like beach season is here. Hence Sagiri’s friend and fellow Chuuma member, Urara Urakata suggests they go buy swimsuits. Sagiri is reluctant at first and is satisfied with her boring school swimsuit but after Urara provokes the possibility of her being shunned, she relents. Oh, she has to bring Kogarashi too because they need a boy’s opinion. After all the embarrassment, Sagiri manages to ask Kogarashi but lies about a monster at the swimsuit shop. Because Sagiri’s fashion sense sucks, Urara becomes aggressive into trying out various sexy and risqué swimsuits on her. When Sagiri has given up and would rather wear her school swimsuit, this initiates Urara’s jealousy as she starts to molest those sweet boobs and rant about wanting to have them herself. The struggle ends up with them in a compromising lesbian position. As expected, Kogarashi goes to see what is happening and gets a load view of fanservice. You know what happens next, right? I guess there is your monster. In the end, she ends up buying a decent one (because Kogarashi said it looks good on her). On the bus trip, Chisaki introduces Yuuna to her friend, Seri Yanazawa (she can’t see Yuuna of course). But other students don’t believe in ghost despite obvious floating things before them and think it is just Kogarashi’s tricks. At the beach, Chisaki garners more attention than Sagiri. Must be that floral swimsuit. You regretting now? While playing in the sea, how convenient of Urara to mention about some monster that steals swimsuits. Because here comes the tentacle rape! Yeah, rip those swimsuits too! Noticing the tentacles can regenerate, they have to destroy the core of the monster which is 300m deep. Don’t worry. Kogarashi can get the job done and save the day. But even with this, other students still refuse to believe there are ghosts. Hence Chisaki rallies her friends to help make them believe that Kogarashi is a spirit medium via kimodameshi tonight. It looks perfect on paper but in reality… Worse, Chisaki is paired with Kogarashi and this will make the attempt less credible. During their turn, Chisaki trips so Kogarashi takes a look at her feet (feet fetish moment?) and caries her but Yuuna panics because she was so scared of waiting alone despite being a ghost. WTF. As they rest, Chisaki fears the plan will fail. Don’t worry. A real monster pops up to cause havoc.

Episode 11
A couple of guys kicked a loose slab and it awakened a monster from his slumber?! Why the f*ck is the stone loose?! It’s amazing he was never awakened before. Kogarashi to the rescue as he allows him to bite his arm. Yeah, his teeth break! Kogarashi uses some diplomacy to apologize. The monster senses he is stronger than the one who sealed him. So rather than bother fighting him, he sealed himself back. Like, WTF?! But at least people’s perception of Kogarashi has improved. That night, I suppose Kogarashi is such a wanted guy that he gets a free pass to join in the girls’ room. Until the patrolling teacher comes back so they all have to hide. I can see where this is going. Yuuna, Sagiri and Chisaki are sandwiching him. Obviously. Why the f*ck does Yuuna need to hide? Is she not invisible? The most she would just scare the teacher. When Yuuna cannot take this close proximity and tries to leave, Kogarashi holds and squeezes her. The teacher gets curious but Yuuna blows up. In this short burst, Kogarashi dashes out the window and everyone pretends it is a surprise. I think the teacher is too shocked to think. Next night, Kogarashi grants Yuuna’s wish to dance with him at the bonfire dance. The thing is, Kogarashi is seen like dancing by himself! Did anyone not notice this?! I guess the couples are too focused on their partners and the loser guys are too depressed to notice anything. Back home, Kogarashi, Sagiri and Yaya are studying for their tests. Oboro comes in to press her boobs on him. Hard to concentrate, right? It gets harder with Nonko in her slutty swimsuit eating ice cream in an arousing manner. Oboro seeks Koyuzu’s help for a love potion so she laces it on the shaved ice that she will serve to them. The effected person will fall in love right away at first glance. Thanks to Nonko’s interference, the shaved ice bowls are mixed up. Oboro serves them. Nothing happens. But after a while, Sagiri starts to act strange. When Kogarashi asks her questions and gets too close, she becomes too conscious. She remembers Urara’s teasing that she has a crush on Kogarashi and this embarrassment only amplifies the effect. A fluctuation of emotions, Sagiri thinks she can be feminine enough for him. By showing her boobs! She wants his opinion on her and since he finds her cute, happy Sagiri lets her sleep in them. Then the effects wear off. Man, Yaya must be so focused she didn’t even notice this and finished her study. Meanwhile embarrassed Sagiri locks herself up in her room. Now you realize you’re an amateur in love? Oboro notes what Koyuzu said about the effect. Not only it lasts for a short while, it won’t work if you don’t have any affections for that person at all. So I guess this confirms it.

Episode 12
The usual morning routine. Yuuna gets her boobs fondled by sleeping Kogarashi. Blast away! Good morning. With Sagiri, Nakai, Koyuzu and Yaya returning to their hometown, the rest stay behind to look after Yuragi-sou. Since Nonko is in a pinch over her manga deadline again, she has the rest to help. As reward, she brings them to Okinawa beach. Daring and bold swimsuits and the sun lotion rubbing fiasco. Nonko adlibs sexy moans when Kogarashi is putting on Yuuna, causing him to slip and touch unwanted places. There he goes again into the sky! However he notices a ghost girl at a cape. Later there is a legend of a tragic love story of a couple supposed to meet here but they never. He died in an accident as she continues to wait for him. Kogarashi and Yuuna go see that ghost girl, Ami. She confirms the story but her lover, Yasuhisa is just around the corner! As she is a ghost bound to this place, she cannot move. As they talk to Yasuhisa, it seems he is afraid of seeing her as he fears her getting mad! He adds to the story, he was about to elope with her but his bike crashed on this corner. Ami saw and dived in to save him but both drowned. To solve their problem, Kogarashi says Ami will turn into an evil spirit if she does not ascend. Hence he will force her to ascend. Yasuhisa panics and feels afraid. But after thoughts with Ami flash through his mind, he finally takes his first step. I guess he saw this coming because Ami beats the sh*t out of him! But once that is over and the (dead) lovers reunite, they ascend. Happy ending. With this, Kogarashi now wants to hear Yuuna’s past life so as to help her find peace. As many spirits that possessed him, all are eager to talk about their life. He never heard about Yuuna’s. Simple. That’s because she can’t remember! All she remembers is she woke up in Yuragi-sou. She finds it strange that with all those around her, she feels very happy now. So why can’t she ascend? I can think of one reason… That night, Kogarashi dreams of trying to save Yuuna from being forcefully exorcised. In reality, he touch her boobs. It’s that cue again. But this time Yuuna goes after to grab him. A sign that he’ll always reach out to her? She also finds it strange despite this morning ruckus, it makes her happy. Sadist. And so he vows to stay by her side until she finds peace. And the usual morning too with Yuuna blasting him into the bath where the rest of the ladies are bathing. Despite getting beaten up, he too says such mornings aren’t bad. Why not? Getting beaten up by sexy girls every morning certainly beats getting roughed up by macho men!

OVA 2
Sagiri confronts Oboro and will not accept her living as Yuragi-sou because of her constant harassing of Kogarashi. But Oboro’s goal is to make him fall in love with her so she asks if Sagiri has experience with men. Not too good memories… Oboro then quotes that since Sagiri is beautiful, she thought she would have been more popular with guys. And that is the magic word for Sagiri to accept Oboro! Oboro then asks Yaya for a way to a man’s heart. You can guess her answer: Food. Hence she tries her hand cooking and also asks Nakai. Technically she isn’t lying because long ago, a boy once made a kiddie promise to marry her. Too bad Oboro screws up and wrecks the kitchen. And since she is repairing it, Kogarashi is spared from her harassment. Then she returns to Genshiro but since he is in training, she asks his guards. Their answer is to be strong. Next she asks Nonko but first, she becomes her cosplay slave. And when Oboro pops the question, Nonko goes into this drunkard rant how men only look at her boobs. Looks like she said the wrong word. But Koyuzu dismisses boobs are bad and can be instead be used as a weapon. Oboro wonders how to make hers big so Koyuzu guides her on how to massage them. Yeah… So I guess finally it’s Yuuna’s turn since Oboro believes all that advice failed and in the end she didn’t learn anything. Yuuna thinks it is to spend time with that person and before you know it, it’ll happen. Oboro must have taken her advice literally because now she replaces Yuuna as Kogarashi’s wakeup harasser. So early, so flirty. They’re not making babies, so what’s the issue? Oh Yuuna, I know this is not what you meant but it still proves you want to monopolize Kogarashi, right?

Chisaki wakes up feeling some sort of pain in her boobs. Oh, it’s Koyuzu sleeping and molesting them. For the summer break, Koyuzu is here to stay with her family. We are introduced to Chisaki’s mom, Hiyori who loves everything cute so you can bet she loves Koyuzu a lot and wants to smother her with her boobs too. I mean, Koyuzu should ‘love her more’ since her boobs are bigger. As they go shopping together, I suppose we need to have the obligatory fanservice of shopping for lingerie. Koyuzu peeks into Chisaki changing and feels it is a shame to hide her big boobs although it needs support. Her solution? Use panties as her bra! Mother approves! So do we! In the bath, Koyuzu explains to Hiyori about Kogarashi. Like a gangster? Despite mom warning all men are wolves, Koyuzu knows Kogarashi is the kind type. Boobs heaven for tanuki loli as she gets to be smothered by mother and daughter’s boobs in the bath. She even gets the sleep with them and the moment she falls asleep, she starts fondling Chisaki’s jugs. If Chisaki won’t let them, maybe Hiyori will. Yeah, damn we wish we were Koyuzu! Next day, Hiyori suggests Koyuzu live with them and they can help her integrate with human society. Koyuzu once despised her tanuki ears and tail but realizes they are not that bad. Because acknowledging them allows her to visit her friends again. She fears she will get used to them and hence the reason why she cannot live with them. Time for some tanuki loli tears and big group hug before Koyuzu returns to Yuragi-sou.

OVA 3
Kogarashi is working part time to help out at a local festival that pays tribute to cat gods. Though, nobody can see those cat deities flying around but Kogarashi. Yaya is also here participating and invites him to the shrine. Kogarashi arrives at the shrine to see lots of cat gods chilling out. So the reason she calls him here is to cook grilled fish for everybody? Yeah, nobody makes it as good as him. Then it is Yaya’s turn to put some strange cat dance performance. However the mischievous cat god, Aramaki crashes the party. But every year he always lost to Yaya. What makes him think it is different this year? The reason why he isn’t hypnotized by Yaya’s charms is because he is wearing sunglasses! So he is attacking her only based on smell. Yeah, rip her clothes to shreds! But it won’t be long before Kogarashi flicks off his sunglasses and now that he sees Yaya’s performance, once more he loses. Grateful Yaya goes to hug Kogarashi but it is more of a playful hug. Aramaki takes his leave but Yaya invites him to play again next year. Although he blushes, he dismisses her. I think I know why he keeps coming back…

Kogarashi has been out doing some odd job for half a month. Yeah, Yuragi-sou without a man is like nothing, right? Because of that, Oboro can’t pay him nightly visits and seduce him. Because Koyuzu believes Chisaki is popular with men (she saw many of them talking to her easily), hence Oboro wants to learn from her ‘master’ to be popular. No choice, Chisaki starts by teaching them how to dress nicely. Too bad it is hijacked by Nonko as she makes them wear sexy idol clothes as she snaps away for her reference. With Oboro thinking idols are popular, they start thinking what would it be like if Kogarashi is a fan of idols. Then they want Chisaki to explain the possibility if she becomes Kogarashi’s boyfriend. She explains all the lovely and normal things they would do. Very different from Oboro’s mentality of sex and having lots of babies! Oboro further suggests because Japan lacks a concubine system, she believes Yuuna should be Kogarashi’s official wife as she is always sleeping with him. Since Yuuna denies, it is all back to square one as they wonder what kind of girls he likes. Weird deductions lead to another. Because they think he might be an idol lover as his part time job is following idols’ concert on a nationwide tour. Yeah, this might explain why he isn’t interested with the girls around him. Twisted logic. When Kogarashi finally returns from his job, he sees the girls practising to become idols. While Chisaki and Yuuna are embarrassed to let him see their skimpy idol outfit, Oboro and Koyuzu are more than ready to expose further. Kogarashi’s best answer: Walk away and pretend not to see anything! It’s been a long day and job so please don’t add to his misery.

 

Youkai Apartment No Yuragi Na Nichijou
Oh well. I guess Yuuna being amnesiac is to set up and give future plot convenience whenever it calls for it. Because if it is revealed now about her past, I’m sure it will take out all the fun. That is why everybody can enjoy the same sadistic scene of Yuuna blasting Kogarashi into the sky like Team Rocket every freaking single damn morning. Now imagine if we all know her past, can everybody keep doing this same ‘happy’ thing over and over again? Yup. That will be when the series will change its tempo. But that is for another day in the future. When Yuuna is ready to move on for real.

Sometimes I feel the urge to compare this series to another similar ecchi series, High School DxD. The main protagonist is generally similar (a single punch that effectively takes out the opponent) and he has a harem of supernatural babes. A handful of human ones too. But instead of an occult club, we have a dorm and our main guy doesn’t aim to become a harem king but work hard enough to clear his debts.

There are a few things that don’t really make sense or add up but since this show relies heavily on fanservice, all those plot conveniences seem to lead to this juicy ecchi fix and since we got our boob shots and crotch shots, I guess we won’t be thinking further how all of those are related. Like that loose stone in the forest with a powerfully sealed demon. How the f*ck could that even happen? Did the seal finally wear out? A special note was noted about the woman who sealed the monster inside but nothing else further. Then there was that sea monster demon in the sea so it could lead to the obligatory tentacle rape fanservice. How did that come about? So if you love all the tits and pantsu that the TV series has to offer, I am very sure the BD versions will be in glorious uncensored HD. Yup, those damn white lights suddenly appearing at strategic places that we want to focus our eyes on.

Apparently I heard some complaining of the lewdness in this series that got a bit too hot. Like Nonko eating that sticky melting ice cream. I doubt she is the first to do so because there are other anime series out there who have done much worse. Remember that suggestively lewd scene in To Love-Ru Darkness where Momo was being forced to lick and suck on the popsicle while on her knees? Yeah… And if you were bold enough to watch that ‘not porn’ series, Koe De Oshigoto, try acting out a voice acting scene of needing to suck one’s dick! I guess with so many lewdness going around, those getting so woke these days won’t remember just a few seasons ago we had this sort of indecency that was shown over the airwaves. People, can we just let a girl lick an ice cream the way she wants it???!!!

For the characters, I’ve seen too many of such animes in this genre to find anything interesting. The characters are rather okay and not so much as annoying as they are in their own right. Like Kogarashi as the only male lead is trying to walk a fine line and tightrope between keeping his sanity and chastity as he lives at Yuragi-sou. I’m not saying he is a pervert and trying to hold it in, but living with sexy (supernatural) babes 24/7, his tolerance game must be really strong. Very strong. Therefore when he often gets into accidental mischiefs like accidentally groping a girl’s boobs, it feels like God is trying to force fate and turn him into a pervert. Yeah, quite a number of such situations here. Or God gets His kicks seeing Kogarashi get beaten up by the violated girl. As part of the plot convenience for him being able to do just about anything, he has been possessed by a variety of skilled spirits in his youth. Does this make him an overpowered character? Sometimes I feel he is just one step away from being One Punch Man. One of the only few skills he never acquired because he wasn’t possessed by such ghosts, is to make love with girls… Thank goodness, right?

Yuuna looks like leading the pack to Kogarashi’s heart because of their proximity and the amount of time they spent with each other. The reason for Kogarashi to stay with her to help find her lingering regret seems to be a weak reason coupled by the fact he doesn’t punch girls. So I guess if there are rampaging animals, he is screwed if they are all female, huh? My hunch is that Yuuna’s lingering regret is to find love and once she realizes and accepts the fact that she has truly fallen in love with Kogarashi, will she start to ascend? One of the greatest dilemmas and tragedies ever. Only to have found love but now have to move on. So you see why status quo is so important at least in this kind of genres?

One of the most mind boggling things about Yuuna is about her ability to touch whatever she wants. This is both a plot convenience and a flaw. While it allows Yuuna to pass through things as a ghost (and to remind us that she is one), objects that she is able to touch whenever she wants to sometimes feel like a flimsy reason to get our fanservice fix. Especially the usual morning ruckus of Yuuna beating the sh*t out of Kogarashi when she just woke up. You know, they have been doing this for considerably a long time and you would think that they would learn at least something to prevent this from happening like as though it is the first time every time.

Also, how the heck can Yuuna want to touch things when she is asleep or unconscious?! For Yuuna to enable this ability only has me thinking that she really wants to be touched by Kogarashi but doesn’t want to take responsibility for it, hence her embarrassment going into overdrive mode and the violent reaction we often see. Not only when it comes to Kogarashi, but there are other moments too when Yuuna could have easily switched between this power like when she was captured by Genshiro. Was there some sort of Kryptonite in his palace that prevented her from escaping her prison walls? Instead, she had to wait till Kogarashi and co arrive to save her.

Another puzzling thing about Yuuna is her form when others see her. It is understandable that not everyone can see a ghost and hence in the eyes of those without spiritual powers, she looks like an eerie ghost. But I thought there was one simple solution for this albeit not perfect. Why does Yuuna not wear some real clothes over herself? Remember, she has that ability to touch things that she wants. So isn’t it okay to just allow her to touch the real clothes so it would seem like she is wearing them? As for her face, sketch her face on a paper and stick on her face like a mask! I mean, we can ask Kogarashi to draw, right? I am very sure he was once possessed by a very skilled artist.

So instead of confusing and trolling us that Yuuna is invisible in the eyes of the ordinary people who seem to just dismiss this as some cheap Kogarashi trick (probably it is easier to believe in this lie and be in denial than to deal with the real thing), just use this solution to solve a lot of problems! It gives others especially like Chisaki an easier time to feel her body rather than just looking like she is groping air. Really. After all, the usual clothes that Yuuna wear is just her own imagination, right? Practically she is always naked so I don’t see why the fuss that Yuuna becomes so embarrassed with certain clothes. Must be that perception thingy. Also confusing to us for Yuuna is that she claims to be a ghost bound to Yuragi-sou but has been to so many places farther away than I have in my entire life. My life sucks…

Sagiri and Chisaki being the next contenders for Kogarashi’s heart, I feel that Sagiri has been given slightly more focus compared to Yuuna and Chisaki. Although all have their personal screen times with him, I feel that Sagiri got slightly more. I may be wrong but this is because of Sagiri’s personality who is supposed to be a tough ninja chick oblivious to love. So when guys like Kogarashi come crashing into her life, it is more fun to see her turning to her tsundere side. The more she resists, the more she will unwittingly fall deeper into this pit trap known as love. Only in time will tell… Same thing for Chisaki although she is not so much as tsundere as Sagiri. She often gets worried thinking whenever she is in such a compromising situation, she believes this might lead Kogarashi to think she is some lewd woman trying to bait him in. At this point she should know the basics about Kogarashi to even think that he is some sort of pervert. I know, you can never be too sure and there is that slight remote chance he might just become the devil himself. So better give into her natural instincts and let him take the blame as the pervert just to satisfy our cheap cheesy fanservice thrill.

Now that Oboro is staying at Yuragi-sou, did she have permission to leave Genshiro? I mean, is that dragon dude okay of being left alone in his palace without any females? Previously Oboro was his retainer despite being the only female around. Now that she is gone for who knows how long (until Kogarashi impregnates her maybe), Genshiro has only his fish guards as company. I wonder why his palace that is so well hidden needs to have guards anyway. Guarding from what kind of intruders? Despite Oboro being bold and upfront in trying to ‘rape’ Kogarashi (or get him to f*ck her), somehow it doesn’t feel as exciting. Not only because of her monotonous and boring facial expression, I suppose because the thrill comes from accidents or resistance. Where is the fun if both suddenly decide to get it on? Sure, that would be shocking but hardly fun because unlike the others as we have seen, ‘built up’ all the tension and drama with all those shenanigans and hence even if something steamy were to happen with Kogarashi and any of those trio, we would be watching with baited breath. Not for Oboro, though. Too easy. Maybe that’s why she’ll never get in his pants.

The other girls at Yuragi-sou don’t seem to look like interested in part of being of Kogarashi’s harem. Koyuzu is just a little kid (to cater for those lolicons), Yaya only follows Kogarashi because he feeds her decent grilled fish and Nonko is only looking for some thrill time and probably some sort of stress reliever after working so hard on her manga that she lets it all loose with her drinking and showing lots of skin. As for Nakai, the only weird thing I find about her situation is the fact she hides from the rest about going to school. If this is her first time going to school, won’t other classmates and teacher feel it is strange that she came from nowhere? Unless she cooked up a real good background. So will she continue this until high school and graduate? Because by that time this secret would have been busted. I am sure there are certain events that a student will need his/her parents to get involved. Oh, I don’t know. Say, sports festivals, PTA meetings, permissions for field trips. The last one she can give excuse to be away for association meetings but there is only so long she can be away from Yuragi-sou otherwise the inn would have collapsed without her caretaking! And it’s pretty odd that Nakai has her own friends at school but they don’t seem to know a lot about her or even come visit the place where she lives. I mean, both places are so close and in the same town. Because it will be the biggest screw up ever if Nakai’s hidden life and people from both sides of it discover each other. Will her luck run out by then?

Art and animation are okay. Characters are not sophisticatedly designed and they look simple and lean more towards cute. Somehow I find Kogarashi looks like a discount version of High School DxD’s Issei. Same case for Chisaki whom I feel is a discount version of To Aru Kagatsu No Railgun’s Misaka. And why does Oboro remind me of Toji No Miko’s Sayaka? Ever since Monogatari’s Senjougahara decided to cut her hair short, isn’t that why this hairstyle was taken up by Sagiri? Just slap an eye-patch and you got yourself another character. Even if certain scenes look like having their quality lowered, of course when it comes to fanservice scenes, you’ll get your decent juicy details because our eyes will be wide opened focusing on all the possible details we can get ;p. This animation is produced by Xebec who is a ‘master’ of producing many anime series of this genre like To Love-Ru, Keijo, Maken-Ki, Triage X, MM, Shuffle, Ladies Versus Butlers and Kanokon.

Voice acting wise, I only recognize Youko Hikasa as the narrator and she is trying to sound as silly as possible. Just like so many other seiyuus I have stereotyped and begun to only recognize them in that single trademark voice of theirs, I guess it is no wonder why I couldn’t identify Yui Ogura as Yaya. No cute squeaky high pitched voice here. Just an emotionless cat girl who probably lacks the most dialogue among the main and supporting characters. The rest of the other casts are Yuuki Ono as Kogarashi (Isami in Shokugeki No Souma), Miyuki Shimabukuro as Yuuna (Narumi in Harukana Receive), Rie Takahashi as Sagiri (Megumin in KonoSuba), Eri Suzuki as Chisaki (Chinatsu in Flying Witch), Ai Kakuma as Nonko (Rossweiesse in High School DxD series), Anzu Haruno as Koyuzu (Mafuyu in Blend S), Sayaka Harada as Nakai (Sayaka in Aho Girl), Mikako Komatsu as Oboro (Neko in K), Mao Ichimichi as Urara (Enri in Overlord), You Taichi as Seri (Dorothy in Princess Principal) and Yoshimasa Hosoya as Genshiro (Reiner in Shingeki No Kyojin).

The opening theme, Momoiro Typhoon by Luna Haruna feels like a generic anime pop song. Nothing special in my books. The ending theme, Happen ~Kogarashi Ni Fukarete~ by Miyuri Shimabukuro, Rie Takahashi and Eri Suzuki sound a lot like manufactured pop music. So much so I can imagine this is the kind of song that is used when you want to play those dancing games like Dance Dance Revolution. Yes, it does have that feel and beat albeit not the very fast and exuberant kind.

Overall, if you like ecchi series, this one is for you and it is comparable to High School DxD although the latter is still better because it has already built its own base over the years. After all, what else would you come to expect to watch this kind of genre? It would be ironic to say this kind of series is just clean fun because there is nothing really clean watching shows filled with such fanservice. Our hearts and minds are already so dirty and this mild one is just only enough as starters. I hope I don’t come to a point where I have to watch real hentai just to get the same thrill. So haunted house with scary ghosts or lewd ghosts? Both equally as scary because one scares the daylights out of you and the other sucks all the libido out of you. Scared to death or died happily. You’re dead either way.

WHY, JAPAN?! WHY OH WHY???!!!! Because… It’s Japan being very Japan. Do you need any other reasons? Who would have thought that Iya Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai would even be animated. I mean, besides all the hentai out there. As the title suggests, a group of girls in various outfits will show you their panties but in exchange for this eye candy, you must put up with their disgusted face. A small price to pay, right? Yeah, why the heck are they even showing it to us. And that is what mainly this ‘series’ (that was ‘adapted’ from illustrated works that literally shows us angry faced girls flashing their pantsu) is about. Mad girls showing you their panties like as though they are doing you a favour. Oh right. They are. I guess they have a right to be mad when they see our cringe filled perverted smiling happy faces. I know there are so many other ‘worse’ ecchi (without even crossing the hentai line or being borderline hentai) but to animate a series just for this specific purpose? Oh my dear Japan… You really want to outdo yourself, huh?

Episode 1: Chitose Itou (Maid)
OMG!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!! MAID CHARACTER AS THE FIRST!!!!!! OMFG!!!! THANK YOU JAPAN!!!!! I LOVE YOU JAPAN!!!!!!! Now you know why I watched this series…Meido-san, since I am your goshuujin-sama, I want you to show your pantsu. Sexual harassment, whatever you call it, JUST F*CKING SHOW ME YOUR PANTSU!!!!! Hehehe… Good maid…. Can I have a second round?

Episode 2: Yuina (Idol)
Wow. Such a sell-out concert, huh? Must be thanks to us who were your first and staunch supporters, huh? In that case you can be grateful by SHOWING YOUR KAWAII PANTSU TO US!!!! IT IS NOT ONLY OUR ONLY WISH. IT IS OUR F*CKING RIGHT!!!! No, we don’t want your whatever curry meal you can cook for us. Oh, take off those ‘fake’ outer pantsu so that we can see the real pantsu you are wearing.

Episode 3: Maria Takayama (Nun)
Best Christian anime ever to grace our screens recently. Oh sister, we are such lost sheep. Please help guide us back to the righteous path… BY SHOWING US YOUR PANTSU!!!!! By the will of God’s grace, you will show us your pantsu and help a miracle occur and bring peace to our minds. Oh, bless you sister. Bless you… And your pantsu…

Episode 4: Iori Izumo (Miko Priestess)
Time for another ‘spiritual healing’ this time with a more eastern type. Yeah, we are childhood friends with the supposed shrine maiden and we’re supposed to follow the footsteps of our shrine master. Since you started it by asking us if there was a certain someone we like, I guess SHOW ME YOUR PANTSU!!!!! Hey, it’s your fault for bringing up the nostalgic memory of accidentally seeing your panties when you tripped then. Oh yeah. I have no more regrets after fulfilling my earthly desires.

Episode 5: Misuzu Tanahashi (Nurse)
OMG! YOU SAID IT FIRST! YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR WORD! Because if we manage to finish this 3000 piece puzzle in 4 hours, you will do us any one thing that we ask! Even by your own admission if it is something ecchi! You better make good your promise because nothing makes us go faster than the power of boners. NOW SHOW US YOUR PANTSU!!! AND STICK YOUR ASS OUT WHILE YOU’RE AT IT! Oh yes. I can feel our injuries healing already. But just to be safe, can we have a 3000 jigsaw puzzle match with you next time so that we can ask you to strip? We might be energetic but we’re not totally healed yet!

Episode 6: Airi Sega (High School Girl)
Yeah… Japanese guys sure love their joshi kousei. Gamer girl loses to us. Yeah, she didn’t think we could beat her. Hence she is so mad that this challenge was a bet to see her pantsu. So confident you could win, eh? Agreed to play because you thought it was a joke and we share the same hobby, eh? Now look what happened? So just shut up and SHOW US YOUR PANTSU!!! Oh, turn around and show us your ass to while you’re at it. Yeah, yeah. Complain and insult us all you want with those flowery nicknames you came up on the fly for us. But if you don’t do it, it means you have no pride as a gamer and a girl who goes back on her word. Oh yeah… OH YEAH!!! Is there a save point for this?!

Panty Raider: Underwear World
Oh dear… Oh my… If you think this was bad enough (or satisfyingly good), wait till you hear that there is going to be another f*cking season of this series!!!! You heard that right. WHY, JAPAN?! WHY OH WHY???!!!! I guess there are so many other female outfits that we missed out that we have to have another season just to get our ecchi fix. Especially the policewoman outfit is sorely missing here. Yeah, I suppose we will be arrested right away, locked away forever with the keys to the cell thrown away.

With today’s declining moral standards, there is going to be some (petty) arguments from both sides of the divide. But we’re not here to judge who is right or wrong. Simply because I am one of the few who kinda ‘enjoyed’ this sleazy cheesy cheap fanservice series. Especially the maid. Oh yeah. The most important and best one of the lot. I hope she gets her own spinoff sequel and add a few more other maid characters to the mix. That would be absolutely perfect. A dream come true. Rather, the wildest fantasies-cum-delusions and dreams come true. We all know this series is made to target a certain demographic audience and will continue to do so in the foreseeable future. What a world we live in.

But I am in a dilemma to whether to call those panty shots as worth it. Yes, it is somewhat ‘worth it’. Because which sane girl would actually lift their skirts to show their panties? And we’re not even talking about porn. Even if the girls put up their disgusted faces, we will be so focused and engrossed at their kawaii pantsu that we would hardly notice them. No wonder we want to look at their panties and ass. Further away from the boobs and hence the higher chances of our eyes meeting. Yeah, I’m wondering how these girls will look at us from now on. Will they continue to show us their panties or will they completely avoid us or greet us with that auto disgusted face every time we meet. I don’t think that will be worth it in the long run, seeing a girl’s disgusted face without getting to see her pantsu… More importantly, what happened to us and her after she showed us their pantsu? Will legal action be taken? Don’t care. Got our pantsu fix. Can die happy now. Or rot in prison forever.

A few seconds worth of panty shots doesn’t sound like anything much and that is all the fanservice this has to offer. Of course you could pause the video to have a longer look… So it feels like a short term quick fix for those wanting something light on the naughty side rather than something heavy. We just want a quick glimpse of those kawaii pantsu rather than seeing the convoluted plots infused with semi-naked girls and their big boobs (High School DxD, Sunohara-sou No Kanrinin-san, Killing Bites, Nanatsu No Bitoku) or even one of those porn animes (Joshi Ochi).

But having said that, the biggest ‘dissatisfaction’ that I find is the limited view of the pantsu. What I mean is that there is just one fixed view of the pantsu. Hardly satisfying. Woah! Am I expecting more hardcore fanservice from this God-given ecchi stuffs? Should I not be grateful? Am I saying I want some full 3D rotation shot of all the pantsu? Yeah. Maybe. Perhaps I should get a VR of this series if there was ever one made. I’m saying this because the ‘most unsatisfying’ pantsu shot goes to the nurse. I could hardly see her pantsu as she is showing off mostly her ass. Turn around! Turn around, I say! Didn’t happen. I was left to rue the wasted panty shot for that episode. Yeah… First world problems… And why does the nun wear such fancy lingerie? I thought she’s supposed to conservative and loyal to God? Does God like fancy pantsu? At least the high school girl was slightly better despite showing most of her ass to us. Sighs. Even got panty shots still complaining…

In the end, it feels like the cheapest porn logic ever for these girls in outfits to just show us their panties. Yup. No resistance whatsoever. Because we want to see them, they show it to us without further questioning. Like as though they want to show them to us… But then again, this isn’t only porn logic (but without any sex or penetration in this case) but perhaps the complexity of a woman’s mind. You know how they will snap back at you for cheating on her in HER DREAMS?! That’s why we can’t complain if we can get away by looking at women’s panties with a disgusted face as penalty. I’m sure most of us can live with our conscience of this guilty pleasure. Till the next round when they spam us with more pantsu shots. WHY, JAPAN?! WHY OH WHY???!!!!

Nanatsu No Bitoku OVA

September 14, 2018

They’re still trying to find the right Messiah? They’re still trying to find the qualified candidate to take on Lucifer? Good luck, girls. You’re going to need them. I mean, really need them. In Nanatsu No Bitoku OVA, we see a couple more short OVAs in which the Heavenly Virtues try their luck for the aforementioned above. But I can tell what the outcome will be like and more importantly, the kind of ‘experience’ I’m going to get while watching it.

OVA 1
Uriel is not happy. She believes she is going to be screwed. Indeed. She is put up to be tested by a machine made by Sandalphon and Metatron. Yeah, it is supposed to judge a candidate’s quality. I’m doubting it but I’ll still watch… Tied to a chair as her legs are forced to be spread open, a candidate is ushered in and made to wear a VR helmet. We can already see he is a pervert because we see him trying to use the mouse cursor to click on Metatron’s boobs. Annoyed Metatron turns off the cursor. Now for the real test. He has to look into Uriel’s eyes and nothing else for loyalty. So far so good. Uriel is then put close to him to test endurance. Hmm… Panting a bit. After a few tests, we come to the final one in which Uriel is tickled like mad as our candidate also tries to do the same with the cursor. Unfortunately the “You are a hentai!” warning pops up and is hence ejected into the water. I guess he’s not qualified. Uriel feels so violated. Patience, patience… Isn’t that supposed to be her virtue?

OVA 2
Looks like Michael has a special training for her angels. Uhm, water gun fight to improve their agility? WTF. Don’t worry about anyone seeing them at the park because Sandalphon’s device to turn them invisible is on. So when it descends into a fun water gun fight, Michael shows what the real deal is about. She fires her gun to really drench them. It turns out the water will turn their swimsuits invisible! What intensity is she talking about if they’re naked???!!! The only thing intense is our libido!!! So they start shooting each other until they’re totally naked. At this point, the device also takes a hit and malfunctions. They realize that there are lots of people staring at them. Holy sh*t! Free show! And Michael can still laugh it isn’t easy to find a Messiah? Is this what this was about?! Michael, you’re fired!

Fallen Angels – Heaven Is Doomed!
All as per expected. The couple of short OVAs are meant to stimulate our pathetic libido while not caring much whether or not they really find their true saviour. Because those without vision can also see how much Lucifer will kick all their asses. You think they would have learnt something from the TV series? Nope. This OVA made them worse and sealed heaven’s fate. If you die and wonder why you didn’t go to heaven and plunge straight down into the depths of hell despite being generally a good soul for a good part of your life, this is why. This is where you pin your blame. We got our free angel tits. Yay! We can be happy for the rest of the day.

I am sure this is the reason why we only have 2 OVAs instead of more. Because we all know deep down, the more we see them, the more inept idiocy they show, the more we lose our faith. Yeah, hence in this sense it is a tad sad that some of the angels don’t even get to have a decent screen time. The fact that God is absent to even supervise their actions especially Michael shows that either God doesn’t care or God is a pervy who wants to see his archangels naked and in compromising positions or God intends to betray us all because he has already aligned with Lucifer. Yikes! This is an even more devastating plot! But for now, we have to put up with slutty fails because now we can also blame them for the increase of the number of perverts in the world instead of saviours. Oh God help us all. Or rather, Lucifer please help us all and save us from this unholiness!

High School DxD Hero

September 8, 2018

Holy titties! I never would have expected it. That the High School DxD franchise would be given another season. After the fiasco and disappointing season, it was safe to say that it wasn’t going to get another season. But 3 years later, here we are having this surprising fourth season, High School DxD Hero. Do they think fans have forgotten? After all, 3 years isn’t particularly a long time but maybe it is so in anime terms. And since I have forgotten a lot about this series except for the fact that a boy wants to be harem king and has this privilege of touching boobs from his harem and also fighting demons to protect them (sure, there are other bits of details I remember from this series but ecchi fanservice is what I and mostly all of us would prominently remember), I suppose it is time to forgive and give them a chance to make amends and move on. Okay, seriously, we’re here for the tits, right?

Episode 0
This episode supposedly ‘fixes’ the deviation. From last season after Issei defeated Diodora, the latter is killed off by Shalba. Issei sinks into further depression when is told Asia has been erased from this dimension. This turns his Juggernaut Drive berserk as Issei is now in his Red Dragon armour (not sure to what evolution he powered up) and destroying everything. He pounds Shalba and even kills him! But still, he continues to go berserk and at this rate, he will deplete his own life force. Here comes Vali and his men. Surprise or not, they found Asia totally by chance floating in another dimension. Convenient. Yeah, she’s still alive. Totally convenient. Their focus now is to save Issei but they can’t even get near him. Vali hints there is one way to snap him out. Everyone staring at Rias’ tits. Who’d knew the answer is so simple. The problem is approaching him. One way to approach a rampaging dragon is an ancient melody. Fear not. Because here comes Irina with a giant projector as she plays that children’s dragon boobs song!!! With Issei reacting to it, now it is Rias’ chance to let him touch her nipples. And just like that, Issei returns to normal. Flanked and hugged by his girls, Issei sees Asia and is about to hug her only to be usurped by an emotional Xenovia. Like how rainbows in the sky is a sign of a good ending, this series’ ‘rainbow’ is the appearance of the Great Red. Vali reminds us it is his dream to defeat him. Even Ophis pops up to say hi for a while. Vali and Issei make a vow to return stronger and settle their score another day. A sign to go home with Issei collapsing from exhaustion. Issei keeps his promise to team up with Asia for the 3-legged race. With him further exhausted, Asia heals him. Bonus for Issei because she kisses him and confesses she loves him. Now he collapses from happiness. I’M SO JEALOUS OF YOU, ISSEI!!!!!!!

Episode 1
What a way to start the episode. Since Issei will be going on a field trip to Kyoto, Akeno wants to f*ck him so as to fill up her loneliness while he is gone. It’s just 2 days, right? Of course Rias won’t allow it but since there is also competition from Koneko and Asia, Rias does a boobs slam in his face! I’M SO JEALOUS OF YOU, ISSEI!!! Later, Koneko ups the ante with her skinship healing technique and suggests some amorous techniques. That’s a weird way of saying sex. Of course, no sex if you follow the school rules. Rias and her subordinates visit her family to report. Discussing with Sirzechs, they suggest the removal of several unnecessary rules for the Rating Game so that both sides can go all out. Sairaorg wants to spar with Issei. We see both of them trading powerful punches that could easily rip the place apart. Asia then shouts out about the need for Issei to power up by touching boobs. With everyone agreeing and double confirming about his boobs relying power (why does it sound to make him embarrassed), Rias embarrassingly offers her boobs to be touched. Issei would gladly take up this offer but Sairaorg ends the match. As this would mean Issei would be showing his trump card, he believes Issei is still trying to reach for new heights. He hopes they can settle it all in their upcoming Rating Game. Before they leave, Millicas throws Issei the question if he would still call Rias as buchou once she graduates. Issei is too excited for the trip that he can’t sleep. With Rias giving him ultimate boobs smothering fanservice, he can’t sleep even further. Boobs are better than coffee in keeping you awake. At the train station, Rias gives Issei 2 ‘gifts’. First, a special pass to allow him to enter all those holy temple places that Kyoto is so famous for (remember, Issei is a demon). Second, a great goodbye kiss for the road.

Episode 2
Issei enters the consciousness of his Sacred Gear. There are many former Red Dragon users but they are now mostly like vegetable mode. One of them looks like a boy his age and just like the rest was overwhelmed by his own strength and perished. Ddraig introduces Issei to Elsha who was the partner to Belzard, the most powerful Red Dragon Emperor who defeated 2 White Dragon Emperors by himself. She gives him a box and a key that supposedly holds his Red Dragon Emperor potential. However he must take responsibility once he opens it. It’s like a Pandora’s Box. So he opens it but he doesn’t remember what it is as he returns to reality. Furthermore, he lost it! Ddraig assures because of their strong bonds, it will come back to him eventually. I think we get a hint of what it is. Because Matsuda is fondling Motohama’s ‘boobs’!!!! So gay!!! Even when they reach Kyoto, Issei sees a random guy trying to fondle a random woman’s boobs. During the shrine visit, Issei is attacked by a fox girl, Kuno and her youkai minions. She accuses him of kidnapping her mom and wants her back. Issei doesn’t know what she is talking about but she doesn’t believe him. With the help of Xenovia, Irina and Asia, they stave off the attack but Kuno vows to be back. Back in the hotel, not sure why Issei is hanging out alone in his room (wasn’t he supposed to watch porn with his friends?!), so he decides to go peek on the girls bathing. Rossweisse gets in his way. Ally or not, nothing is going to stop him from peeping at boobs! From the guy who naturally gets to see Rias and Akeno’s boobs every day. Issei defeats he with his Dress Break. There goes the cheap cute jersey she bought. All for the sake for our fanservice pleasure. More fanservice pleasure as we take a detour watching Rias and Akeno getting into a boob challenge, arguing Issei likes their boobs better. During dinner, Issei learns from Serafall that the current head of the youkai clan is missing. This explains the attack and Chaos Brigade is most likely behind this infiltration. Azazel will do his best about the situation and wants the kids to enjoy the field trip.

Episode 3
Flashback shows after the 3-legged race, Issei and Rias fought a member of the Chaos Brigade’s Hero Faction. Although defeated, he turned into some shadow. During the Kyoto sightseeing, Issei and co are surrounded by the youkai. Rossweisse says this is as instructed by Azazel to bring them to the youkai world. Kuno apologizes to them for jumping the gun without doing any investigations. Discussing about their missing head, Princess Yasaka who is also Kuno’s mom, they believe Chaos Brigade is definitely behind the kidnapping since the underworld real doesn’t know anything about this. They show a picture of how Yasaka looks like so that we can have Issei fantasize lewd things with her! That night when Issei’s buddies came to his room to bug him, he hides inside the closet with Asia. Cue for some romantic moments and Asia to kiss him because she isn’t satisfied Rias gave him one before the trip. Their unholy act is discovered by Xenovia and Irina who also want in on this. Xenovia has no qualms for them taking turns to kiss him as well as make babies! Oh sh*t. Girls struggling to f*ck him? I guess that’s why this tight closet space is the excuse for more ‘close quarter skirmish’. Rossweisse and her reinforcements are waiting for Issei to show up. Well, they got Matsuda and Motohama good. Sensing something amiss that Issei is no show, she realizes something is wrong when Asia and co aren’t in the bath. She rushes down to Issei’s room and catches them all with their pants down in an unholy orgy. Next day, Kuno makes good on her promise to give Issei’s groupie a tour of Kyoto as repentance. On the bridge, suddenly they are transported to another dimension. Kuno recognizes this purple mist that is believed to have kidnapped her mom. Before them is Chaos Brigade’s Hero Faction.

Episode 4
The leader of Hero Faction, Cao Cao admits of kidnapping Yasaka for an experiment. He is here to greet and spar with them. He has Leonardo materialize several anti-monsters for Issei’s side to fight. Thanks to Issei making strategic moves, they are easily dealt with. Azazel fights Cao Cao as he now understands why Hero Faction sent assassins to various camps. It is to obtain data to create the best anti-monster, Colossus that is capable of obliterating the Gods. After done with the anti-monsters, Issei’s side fight Siegfried. He has 3 arms? Each wielding a legendary sword? Azazel questions Hero Faction’s move now. Cao Cao explains it is to unearth human’s full potential. Of all the races, humans have always been the ones capable of eliminating those at the top. They want to see how far they can push this limit while remaining human. The giant Gogmagog, a weapon once created by the Gods pops up. It is sent by Le Fey Pendragon from Vali’s side to give Cao Cao a warning. Pendragon is a fan of Issei and wants to shake his hands. Damn, I thought she was going to let him touch her boobs. After Gogmagog falls and Rossweisse realising a flurry of attacking beams in her drunken stupor, Cao Cao ends the fight. He invites them to watch their experiment tonight where he will use Yasaka to conduct something on Nijou Castle. Back at the hotel, Azazel assigns roles to them in taking down Hero Faction and rescuing Yasaka. He will also enlist the help of some professionals since it is unknown how many dangerous guys Cao Cao will bring. Azazel also assigns Saji to be on Issei’s side to restrain him in case the latter goes berserk. Later Azazel returns a pink gem to Issei. Apparently this is his escaped potential from the box that went berserk groping women all over Kyoto. So it’s all his fault to begin with. Issei asks Azazel on what it means to be a hero since it was one of his goals. I thought he wanted to be harem king? The mist covers the land and separates Issei from the rest (he only has Kuno as company). He faces off with that shadow dude again. So if Issei can’t touch the shadow but the shadow can touch and restrain him?

Episode 5
Issei’s flames burns him. Time for the loser to rant about Sacred Gear discrimination that he doesn’t mind being a puppet for somebody because it gives his life meaning. But since he isn’t main character, we don’t give a damn. I guess we’re done with the warm up match so Issei reunites with the rest as they prepare to face Cao Cao and his men. He has Georg turn Yasaka into a giant youkai fox. His experiment is to summon Great Red with this fox and the city’s power. Not sure about this power showing from Xenovia because it’s like to show us she has a new sword, Ex-Durandal (Excalibur x Durandal) and wipes out almost half the city! Good thing this is the alternate dimension. Now we see some matchups, Siegfried fighting both Xenovia and Yuuto, Jeanne choosing Irina, Heracles against Rossweisse while Saji in his Prism Dragon form take on the fox. We see the Hero Faction’s Balance Breaker with Siegfried able to have maximum 6 arms with 6 different swords, Jeanne making a dragon out of holy swords and Heracles just being spiky and shooting missiles. Issei could have died from Cao Cao’s lethal attack but uses his Phoenix Tears to heal. He strikes back and does some lethal damage but is shocked to see Cao Cao also possessing a Phoenix Tears to heal up. Issei takes another devastating blow so he wants Ddraig to fix the armour. At this points, all his comrades lost. Even the serpent lost to the snake. Time for Issei to lose hope and lament how weak and useless he is at crucial points. Don’t worry. Here comes Elsha ex machina. After telling him that potential thingy, he must unleash his own potential with that gem. Uh huh. His own set of boobs. You heard that right. So the gem materializes boob zombies?! Actually these are the wills of all those who became boob molesters because of him and their desires materialized into a human form. Yeah, there are so many of them! Finally all of them combine as Issei summons his set of boobs. Whose set? Rias! Yeah, she was in the middle of changing her underwear.

Episode 6
Elsha guides Issei on how to pinch her boobs! I’m sure Rias is shocked and confused but since it’s Issei, she’ll give him a free pass for now. Upon pressing her tits, is this the best orgasm she ever felt? She is transported back to where she is while Issei receives a massive boost. Feel the power just bursting from within! All because of buchou’s boobs! Heck, he even has a last vision of Elsha giving her final blessing as well as Belzard’s final words of pinching and twirling? Aren’t those the lyrics to Issei’s dragon boobs song? With this new power, Issei is faster, tougher and can change between modes quickly to pound Cao Cao. Thanks to his Sacred Gear, Cao Cao survives without much damage. Cao Cao notes his move is illegal (compared to some chess move) but Ddraig sees it as some 3-pronged attack. Before the fight continues, here comes Yu Long the Mischievous Dragon along with Son Goku. He has a bone to pick with Cao Cao. We see Goku’s tremendous power in handling Cao Cao and his subordinates while Yu Long tames the fox. Cao Cao and co is about to retreat but Issei fires a powerful shot in his face. This makes Cao Cao very mad and wants to retaliate but upon realizing they are at their limits, they back out for now. It’s redundant to tell him to be stronger than Vali. He is going to do that. Issei and Goku unleash some power so Kuno could talk to her mom and return her to her buxom human form. All is fine as well. Lots of thanking before Issei’s party leave for home. Issei’s only regret is that he couldn’t touch Yasaka’s boobs. I guess buchou’s boobs weren’t enough. Speaking of which, back home the group gets reprimanded by Rias but after Azazel explains about the new power he received, I guess she’ll let it slide. Azazel also informs that Ravel will soon be transferring to their school as she has now taken interest in Japan (who wouldn’t?). Now they have to prepare for the upcoming school festival as well as the Rating Game with Sairaorg.

Episode 7
Issei puts up a splendid stage performance as Oppai Dragon! It’s really a hit! The kids love him! Even doing that signature twirling and pinching finger movements?! What are they teaching kids these days?! Fanservice moments at the backstage as Irina has to replace the announcer who sprained her foot. The dress is so tight that her boobs literally rips it apart! As though like they’re screaming they don’t want to be constraint by it. Cue for Irina to do an unholy activity of smothering her boobs on him. Cue for other girls to come in to do the same because all their boobs belong to him. Wow. A plethora of boobs! Issei you lucky bastard! Until Rias tells them to get ready for the next stage. After the show, Issei personally signs an autograph for a boy who turned up late for the event, Rirencs. Rias’ mom comes by to congratulate their splendid play. She also has Issei think about advancing his relationship with Rias. Time to stop calling her buchou? Ravel has officially transferred but she is quite meek instead of being prideful because she is nervous and not used in dealing humans? Gee, so around demons she knows she’s like a, uhm, demon? Issei thought of Koneko showing her around to help ease her anxiety but looks like a storm is brewing instead. Rias requests Issei to come with her as the butler of Sairaorg’s mom has a personal request. She tells him the story of Misla Bael, who hails from one of the 72 pillars of the demon clan. After she gave birth to Sairaorg, the joy was short-lived as he had no magic powers. They became scorned by the clan. She raised him within the Bael area and despite the Gremory clan offered to take them in, they were rejected. She took care of him tirelessly until she became sick with a terrible demonic illness. Now in a deep coma, the butler hopes that Issei’s power of communicating via boobs would wake her up. Yes, he has their permission to touch her boobs. But in the end, despite pushing himself past his Balance Breaker, she still sleeps. Understandably he is depressed. Sairaorg comes to see him to thank him after hearing what happened. But they both assure that this past will not stop them from going all out with each other at their upcoming Rating Game. Rias notes Issei looks like a worthy man now. But he is still the same oppai pervert, right?

Episode 8
Rias’ team is practising for the Rating Game. However they have to stop and reserve some energy since there is a press conference tomorrow. Yes, their match is highly publicized and will be watched all over. I suppose that is why Issei is surprised when Saji tells him his side his having a Rating Game against the Agares clan at the same time but it is so low key and everybody else is paying attention to Rias-Sairaorg Rating Game. At the press conference, the press seems to hound Issei on boobs! Is he going to poke Rias’ boobs?! A slip of his tongue and the media goes into a frenzy bombarding him with boob questions that just makes them uncomfortable and embarrassed. Even Sairaorg throws in his own cheeky comments. While Issei is reflecting in the sauna, here comes hot naked Rias wanting to get down and dirty with him! Is this the moment where Issei would finally lose his virginity? But all of a sudden… The moment he calls her buchou, she loses her mood and leaves enraged. Oh my. All it takes was a title for a boner to a downer. It is a bit awkward when the duo meet for their strategy meeting. As Azazel is appointed their advisor, Sairaorg has Diehauser Belial who is a former Rating Game champion. After the meeting, Ravel’s mom drops a line to say hi to her daughter as well as hoping Issei would take care of her. Who else better than the Red Dragon Emperor himself, right? With Issei agreeing and mom hoping Ravel to improve her relationship with him, it looks like this is giving Rias the worries. So she asks Issei and some of them if they would protect her. Of course. Then she asks Issei what she is to him. Buchou is always buchou. That’s it. That taboo word has Rias calling him an idiot as she runs away. All the ladies agree it is Issei’s fault although he (and yours truly) are clueless in how he messed up. I’m sure it has something to do with their long standing bonds together but I just can’t piece the pieces together… Dang, a woman’s heart is so hard to understand! Even more so a devil woman so to speak!

Episode 9
We hear Issei reflecting on himself. Basically he wants them to be more than just master-servant relationship but fears Rias doesn’t share the same feelings. One wrong move and it’s all over. Yeah, understanding women is hard. Apparently Akeno, Koneko and Asia overheard this so they also share his sympathy. In order to be fair to them, they will equally share their love. Oh man. Is it this early to get naked tits treatment? Fine with me! Let the sexual healing begin! But Asia senses Issei still has some feelings for Reinare. He notes she is his first girlfriend and killed him. In the end he had to kill her and he doesn’t want to feel such ever again. With everyone reassuring their love for him and always be together, let’s put aside the tears and continue our sexual healing. And then Xenovia and Irina had to pass by and see this unholy act. They too want in on the action. The real struggle begins. Yeah, it’s really hard to understand women. Rias’ team are at the hotel and are met with Hades. So Greek Gods like Poseidon are even coming to see this tournament? Rias gets an important advice from Riser about believing in her teammates as well as leaving Ravel in their care. This guy is so much on their side now. More booster for Issei as Sirzechs sees him to let him watch a video of young kids who are fans of Oppai Dragon cheering on him. Tons of fan letters too. As of before the start of the match, we are being briefed over the format of the game. Looks like it isn’t battle royale like I knew it from last time. Both kings will roll the dice. Their total value will determine what kind of pieces they can put forth into the match (each chess piece has a corresponding value like Pawns = 1 and Rooks = 5, so forth). Those who represent multiple pieces like Issei who represents 8 Pawns will be worth 8 points. Both sides roll to a total of 3. This means they can either only use a Knight or Bishop (Sairaorg’s Pawns are also held by the same person). Rias chooses Yuuto for this battle. His opponent is, uhm, also a full-fledged knight. Gee, it’s really the battle of the Knights.

Episode 10
Here are this episode’s Rating Game highlights:

Match 1: Yuuto vs Beluka Furcas (and Altobrau the horse): As dubbed the battle of the Knights, both sides clone themselves for an all-out melee battle that ends with Yuuto being victorious. First blood to Rias’ camp!

Match 2: Rossweisse-Koneko vs Liban Crocell-Gandoma Balam: The duo try their best against the gravity swordsman and discount Thing. In the end, Rossweisse miscalculated her attack and although got both her opponents, Koneko bore the brunt of Gandoma’s final attack. Rossweisse’s survival meant that Rias’ team wins but Koneko and like those who have lost cannot be featured in future matches.

Match 3: Issei vs Coriana Andrealphus: Dubbed the battle of the sexy! Sairaorg thinks this trump card has what it takes to nullify Issei’s perverted powers. True enough, she starts a striptease show and slowly undresses! Issei could have finished her with a single power move but he cannot attack a lady while undressing! Damn perverted pride. However this is the deal breaker. Coriana starts taking off her panties first before her bra! Issei does not approve of this order and fires away! WTF???!!! So he prefers to see the boobs first before her vagina/ass?! What a ‘terrible’ match…

Match 4: Xenovia-Gasper vs Ladora Bune-Misteeta Sabnock: The plan is to have Gasper support Xenovia as she takes on the offensive. However she got cursed by the priestess and is now being hunted by malnourished-guy-turned-mighty-dragon. As Gasper’s healing takes time, against everyone’s wish and to show how manly and useful he is, he becomes bait and sacrifices himself. Yup, we see Gasper getting owned by the duo. With Gasper not giving up, it’s supposed to make us cheer for him and pull our heartstrings. In the end, they focused too much on vampire boy and Xenovia has enough time to recover and blast them away. Too bad Gasper is out, though.

Match 5: Akeno vs Kuisha Abaddon: The battle of the Queens and the fastest! After watching Gasper’s feat, the other Rias members are resolved to lower their opponent’s fighting strength. Yup, this means Akeno lost in this black hole match quickly although I don’t see her dealing much damage to Kuisha.

Match 6: Yuuto-Rossweisse-Xenovia vs Sairaorg: Oh, time’s up for this episode. But we know how this will turn out, right? Yeah, just a warm up match for Sairaorg…

Episode 11
As expected, Sairaorg wipes the floor with them. Though with all their might they put up challenge and eventually cut off an arm of his, they are still no match and are defeated. Issei is so mad that his next match with Kuisha, he doesn’t even think of groping her and quickly defeats her! Actually, had not Sairaorg ordered her to withdraw, Issei would have killed her with his punch! OMG! Issei the killer???!!! Because of the dumb rules, Sairaorg suggests discarding it and have a team match with the remaining members. Approved of course since it is getting too predictable and boring. So we’re starting off with a power punch from the guys already? While the duo duke it out, Sairaorg’s only member left turns into his true form, a giant golden lion. Some legend about it being a battle axe whom Sairaorg found after its original wielder was killed by bandits. He faces off with Rias. I wonder what Asia is doing since she is the only other member left. Don’t want to get in the way maybe? Issei beats up Sairaorg after taking advantage of his weakness that was made known by his comrades in the previous match. But this is interrupted when the lion has mauled Rias and she will bleed to death. Issei uses his Phoenix Tears to save her. The lion wants Sairaorg to wield him but he refuses. This is when Issei reminds him of their promise to go all out with each other, not holding back any punches. Sairaorg fuses with the lion to become a golden armour! Saint Seiya???!!! Yeah, Issei gets owned. Hence he is before the council of past failed Red Dragon users who are forcing him to use the Juggernaut Drive. Issei is on the verge of giving in until he hears his fans Oppai Dragon fans’ motivation! Led by Irina, it’s damn weird to hear the entire stadium with kids shouting out boobs. With that, Issei fights back against the council. He won’t give in to resentment and become a tyrant because he is a lecher. Then this guy pops up, supposedly one of the past White Dragon user tells him to try it out because if anything happens, he’ll save him. Gee, thanks for the assurance. With Issei giving the council hope about the future (not to mention thinking about boobs and the woman he loves), Issei takes his transformation of his Red Dragon armour to the next mighty level.

Episode 12
So we see Issei not only powering up but confesses to the entire world he loves Rias. If he draws his power from love, so be it. So the epic punching begins. Until Sairaorg falls. He could have stayed down if not the ghost of his mom tells him to get up?! At least not the cliché power of friendship. The punching continues but Sairaorg takes more beating until Issei loses his armour because he overuses his power? Issei would have continued with his own bare fists until he realizes (as well as the plot script) Sairaorg has passed out a long time. Only his will made him continue to fight. Issei cries manly tears for his manly heroics. And with that, Rias’ side wins this Rating Game. Issei and Sairaorg recuperate in hospital. The latter doesn’t feel bitter about his loss but strangely satisfied. Sirzechs talks to Issei and he is considering promoting Issei to mid-level demon. Yuuto and Akeno are also potential to be promoted. After Issei is discharged, we see the school having their cultural festival. Issei and Rias are finally alone together. No time is wasted for him to confess how much he loves her. No need to be alarmed by her tears. Those are tears of happiness. She has been waiting for this moment. Especially for Issei to call her by her name. If she had only said it from the start… But she was too afraid to do so. Oh… Now I see… As Rias confesses she loves him back and they are about to kiss, those damn pesky friends are spotted eavesdropping. Heck, they even congratulate and even make cheeky remarks they can officially steal him. Hey, they’re demons, right? Rias blames them for ruining her most important moment in life. Even Issei is not spared. Yeah, it’s his fault for confessing here. But don’t worry, the rest set them up to do it all over this time. Alone. Guaranteed. Finally with no interruptions, the kiss that we have all been waiting for! Yahoo! Such bliss. In the aftermath, more good news because Sairaorg’s mom wakes up from coma. We also see Azazel being mad at Indra for knowing about Cao Cao’s existence before them. Indra thinks it is justified as they know each other since young. Indra agrees to ‘officially’ help him but warns if Issei threatens the world, he will annihilate his soul. He views his own group as the only ones worthy of being made under heaven.

Boobs Without Tits Are Totally Pointless!
Phew. Thank goodness this season didn’t suck. I’m not sure if it is because they decided to follow back the original light novel works or because it has been too long (yes, 3 years seems like a very long time to me nowadays) that I couldn’t remember the detailed bits. Even though I knew the third season was disappointing but time somewhat ‘healed’ it. Or maybe this season is just awesome in its own right. Either way, thank goodness this series came back from the ashes like a fiery phoenix and roared its way through like a dragon. Even if the final scenes were intriguing, it still feels like it has set up an interesting potential for another season. After all, Issei and Rias officially becoming an item isn’t the end of the entire story.

One of the biggest differences that viewers will notice is the animation and art style of this season. Previously the series was handled by TNK but now it is done by Passione (Citrus, Rokka No Yuusha, Hinako Note and Rail Wars). Although the art style is not so different that you cannot make head or tail of the usual characters, there is noticeable difference that makes it obvious it definitely looks different from its predecessors. How should I put it… If you ask me, this season’s art style looks somewhat a bit cute. Uh huh. Slightly this more moe looking style. Not to say the predecessors do not have this cute looks but the former series have this bishoujo feel and look. Thus they have this teen look but the current season makes them look a bit younger. Maybe because of the ‘roundness’ and ‘smoothness’ (heck, what am I saying, boobs are always round and smooth but I’m not referring to those in this context) as well as the colour and hue looking smoother and brighter. So it is either you will hate or love this new art style. Me, I got used to it in no time. Hey, it doesn’t matter if boobs are in 2D or 3D. Boobs are boobs, we get to see a bunch here, is that not enough???!!!

Despite the change in art style, one big sigh of relief for fans is that the original seiyuus in its predecessors are all maintained in this season. Your demon sexy Rias and cutie pie Asia might look lightly different than usual but at least they still sound the same like last time. I guess this is good because if they entirely changed the casts, we might be slightly more confused if this dude is Issei. Because let’s face it, nobody sounds perfect playing Issei other than Yuuki Kaji. Hence the new ones joining the ever expanding list of this series include Sora Tokui as Kuno (Hideri in Blend S), You Taichi as Yasaka (Albus in Zero Kara Hajimeru Mahou No Sho), Kousuke Toriumi as Cao Cao (Acnologia in Fairy Tail), Jun Fukushima as Siegfried (Kazuma in KonoSuba), Airi Ootsu as Leonardo (Maria in Marchen Madchen), Sho Nogami as Georg, Ayaka Asai as Jeanne (Hazuki in Hibike! Euphonium), Mugihito as Goku (Wombat in Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu), Rie Tanaka as Elsha (Suigin Tou in Rozen Maiden) and Yutaka Aoyama as Belzard (Yamada in To Be Hero).

I keep wondering if there was any sort of meaning to the second title the series has. The second season was New, followed by Born and now we have Hero. String that together and we have New Born Hero. Seems legit and possible if you’re talking about Issei. Thus it makes me wonder if they’re going to make another season, what moniker they will put for that fifth season. Pervert? New Born Hero Pervert doesn’t seem so far-fetched…

Character wise, they are pretty sufficient this season despite the main focus is on Issei and Rias, especially the drama and issue of trying to take their relationship above the master-servant connection. Sometimes it gets a bit annoying because it mirrors in real life that when something is wrong, the women won’t say and the men must figure it out. Even demons Sure, Issei has been with Rias long enough but that doesn’t mean he can read her mind. It felt like everything could have been solved had Rias pointed it out but I suppose that takes the fun out of everything and it will be too easy and Issei will not learn if he doesn’t figure things out on his own. After all, he has got to prove that he is more than just a guy who likes to grope and poke boobs. Yeah… Thankfully for the sake of this season’s happy ending, Issei got all the buttons right. Phew. Next step: Marriage? I know Issei is an admirable guy but sometimes the way he over-admires his opponents with too much respect like how he is so awed with everything Sairaorg does in his fight but ultimately his own dream is the most priority, well, it sounds like he is trying too hard and overdoing? Just one step away from being annoying…

I know in line with this series’ fanservice and ecchi element, sometimes it feels cliché and super unrealistic that all the girls want to spam their boobs for Issei like as though he is their public property. Especially Xenovia who has no qualms in getting down and dirty with him. As though sex is nothing sacred. But the oddest part is that now Issei has a great following in his Oppai Dragon brand name, it just feels weird to see kids rooting and shouting boobs! I mean, young boys and girls chanting “Oppai! Oppai”, like as though it is nothing. Starting them young, eh? Damn guy has got theme song of his own! It could be the national anthem for boobs kingdom for all you know!

For the other characters under Rias’ peerage, they don’t seem too prominent this season too. Almost forgettable until the situation calls for it so that we can see Issei isn’t just a one-man show and has to rely on some things on his comrades. In a way, the need to prove or at least tell us they are still relevant. Of course they are but not in the limelight focus sense. For example, Gasper. Weak vampire boy who has a penchant of hiding in boxes tries to show us how manly he is despite looking, sounding and acting so much like a girl. Man, doesn’t it pull some heartstrings to see Gasper get pounded (not in a sexual way!) like that and not give up?! As this series has many other characters as well, some feel redundant this season like Ravel. Her appearance may be for future potentials and development but this season feels like as though her cameo is that so you don’t forget about her. I mean, we can’t disregard a cute demon girl who is a potential for Issei’s harem, right? New characters like Kuno also feel this way. But to be fair, this season is her debut and now she too is a furry potential for Issei’s harem.

Chaos Brigade makes their much needed appearance but only time will tell if they will become a formidable foe. Because it’s like we take a break now from fighting baddies as we bring you the most hyped Rating Game of the decade. With the irony of heroes becoming the villains (maybe that is what the title of this season refers to), I also hope to see a mishmash of other characters from folklores and tales. It would really be super epic mess with everyone and everything in the fray.

Action bits are pretty exaggerated but still fun to watch. With all the power ups and boosters especially for Issei, you wonder how much stronger he can become and evolve because it seems like as though there is no end to his evolution and transformation to become the Red Dragon Emperor. Not that it is entirely a bad thing but to think about how he started out as a normal pervert and slowly becomes one of the most powerful characters ever, that’s really something. But one thing I can’t help but smirk and find it sound odd is how when Ddraig initiates multiple boosters for Issei, he will start repeatedly say, “Boost! Boost! Boost! Boost! Boost! Boost! Boost!~”. Since he says that in quick succession, he sounds like saying “Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!~”. Like, WTF?! I guess it works for Issei in both ways since the power of boobs gives him the boosts.

Other characters like Xenovia, Rossweisse and Yuuto also help display some of their power and abilities but essentially it all comes down to Issei. Hence it makes me wonder if Issei and the raw brute strength of Sairaorg would eventually become annoying overpowered characters. Heck, they’re not the only ones because there are still other opponents like Vali and Cao Cao to deal with. But I suppose we will come to acknowledge their superiority because we get to see Issei acquire it through sheer hard work (or boobs fondling at least) unlike a certain character in that Smartphone crap series that started out way too God-like overpowered from the start.

I guess Rias vs Sairaorg’s Rating Game was so awesome and good that we have forgotten about the other Rating Game that was supposed to go on simultaneously: Saji’s one against the Agares clan. Yup, whatever happened to that? Not even a hint. I thought this would foreshadow something when they put it like that but not a word out of its results. You know, Saji’s side shockingly loss and there is some ulterior motive by the Agares clan to destroy the world. Something like that. No? I assume they won too and without much fanfare. But then again, if all the focus is on Rias and Sairaorg’s Rating Game and assuming people would prefer to watch that, maybe Saji’s Rating Game was played to empty seats?

This season’s opening theme is Switch by Minami. Nothing really great but I think it is rather okay for this season. Generic anime pop song with a pinch of techno dance genre. As for the ending theme, it is Motenai Kuseni by Tapimiru. Also feels like a generic anime rock pop song. I remember the first 2 seasons the ending credits animation had very sexy and erotic dancing. This was ‘downgraded’ in the third season without all that fanservice and the same can be same with this season. It is much toned down. Despite the amount of bare tits were have been exposed to here (especially the mid-intermission like always, they show the girl covered up in the first half because exposing her top in the next half), they just give us Issei’s harem in their beach bikini posing in moderate sexy poses. Disappointing? But then again, we want to remember this series for its awesome story, characters and tits rather than being remembered for, “Oh right, this was the series that had an excellent erotic ending credits animation ever”. Yeah…

Overall, this season is a very much welcomed and giving the series a new breath of life for future developments. It still isn’t perfect but at least it is much better than its previous season. You thought that it would only take one small negative impact to ruin the entire reputation built up and herculean efforts to try and do damage control. This season proves that as long as you have the right amount of tits and boobs (and done nicely of course), those negative sentiments don’t stay long. Ah, boobs. Who’d knew that boobs are the perfect instruments for power up and world peace. Sing along with me, people! Oppai daisuki doragon koi oshita/ Suichi hime no oppai watotemo suki da/ Doragon, doragon oppai doragon momimomi pochito boing boing/ Takusan oppai aru kedo, yappari suichi hime ga daisuki! Wow… Such an epic piece. This is one boob job Issei and us guys will never get tired of.

Are we still curious to find out what happened to our couple in that Matrix-like room? Well, Boku No Kanojo Ga Majimesugiru Sho-bitch Na Ken OVA will answer that. But for those who are hoping to see if the duo really get it on, don’t place your hopes. After all, being a ‘veteran’ of this kind of genres, they’ll show and give you a very close idea of it but refrain from doing the real stuff in the end. This is after all not hentai. It could be if it wanted…

Exciting room
We put together the narration of the next episode preview from the TV series to see how it all happen. Akiho and Haruka were at the video arcade and it started raining. Needing to find shelter, the nearest they could get was a love hotel? Ah, screw logic. Akiho bathed and put on a bath robe but after that she fell asleep. Bummer. Morning came and nothing happened. What a disappointment. As they leave, they somehow entered the Matrix-like room. A computer voice congratulates them for being the 72,169th customer and they have an hour to get it on. Do one of the many approved sexual positions if they wish to get out. Otherwise the male will be penalized with this dildo thingy through his ass! OMG! Because Haruka tries to force his way out, he is going to receive this painful end! Akiho decides to do take the penalty on his behalf as the robots strip part of her clothes. The dildo just touched her ass and she finds a new sensation? Haruka agrees to just do it and get it over with. As Haruka tries to untie her and button back her clothes, the hilarious part is how they turn this conversation of ‘putting it back in the hole’ into an entirely sexually charged innuendo. Maybe he should also try ‘2 holes at once’, huh? When he manages to untie her, Akiho is somehow stripped naked. She is willing to let him do it. Finally Haruka decides to be a man and also do it. Is this the moment we’ve been waiting for?! As they are about to get serious, the plushie in their bag drop out, coincidentally forming a sexual position. Because of that, the computer detected they have done their part and throws them out. Bummer. The duo are left stranded and confused outside the love hotel. How the heck did they get fully clothed while they were falling? Ah, screw logic. It may be disappointing but thanks to that hotel, Akiho is grateful they managed to get a bit closer.

Ball game
Looks like the usual gang fail their PE test so Aoi is going to have them take a remedial test. Of course, expect her to make sexual subtexts about focusing on one spot (the school subject, she means?) and fill in the holes (fill in the blanks, she means?). As Akiho scored highly, she will be Aoi’s helper. She leaves her with an equipment resembling gigantic balls. They’ll learn all they need to know about health from here. Oh dear… So in this ball game that they’re going to ‘play’, Akiho says they have to worship those balls. Referring to the manual, they are supposed to pull out slips of paper inside and execute what is on it. Of course they are all relate to balls. Like balls balancing, balls rolling and balls tossing. The rule says the person with 2 balls should get all this experience. That’s you, Haruka. And hence your sexual subtexts in the form of the girls imagining how gentle they should handle the balls accordingly as well to how violently and crude too. From heaven to hell for Haruka just for imagining them. Finally something that is not of balls and a stick pops up. Oh dear… Too big to fit into your mouth? Finally all the girls are excited to ‘knock his stick down’ and fighting who should monopolize his ‘stick’ but Haruka is fed up and tries to leave. Apparently Aoi is outside and won’t pass them until they really do it. She has her own naughty suggestions but Haruka is not giving in to it. But the lesson is not yet over yet so Akiho teases us the next game they’re going to do is up to our imagination.

Damn Cock Teasers!!!
As expected, this OVA is just as sleazy and slutty like the TV series itself. Yeah, it feels so much like home. I still find it pretty much enjoyable and fun despite my guts tell me that many ‘normal’ people would find it offensive and childish. Uh huh. Sex jokes told by adults are childish. Whereas having a group of dirty minded girls is considered offensive because in a way you are objectifying women as sex objects. Well, screw you people with no sense of humour. All that matters is that this series made me laugh while being horny at the same time while dreaming that I would have such a harem of naughty girls! And then only to realize how much of a lonely otaku loser I am and cry myself to sleep. Boo hoo! Damn you Haruka! You lucky bastard! Is it because he has a girl’s name so the girls really want to get naughty with him and it’s just like being yuri? At least on the name level? Ah, screw logic. Because even if these characters are all still virgins, just like all of us in real life, nobody are virgins. Because life has got us all f*cked since the day we are born!

Nanatsu No Bitoku

June 16, 2018

Oh well. It was only a matter of time. Ever since the sinfully delicious Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai hit the airwaves, some of us started wondering whether their ‘good’ counterparts are going to get some focus too. Wonder no more because here it is sequel spin-off, Nanatsu No Bitoku or the Seven Heavenly Virtues. We take a look at what was going on on the other side while Lucifer was running rampant. Yup, that is why you don’t really see the rest of those virtuous babes anywhere in the first series. Now, you might notice that the run time for each of the episodes are only 4 minutes long! WTF?! Why so short?! Ah well, it goes to show that being part of the sinning side is more fun than being part of the good side.

Episode 1
In order to fight the Seven Mortal Sins, Michael gathers the Seven Heavenly Virtues. In case you don’t know them, here they are: Michael (the angel of faith), Uriel (patience), Sariel (kindness), Sandalphon (diligence), Metatron (charity), Raphael (temperance) and Gabriel (chastity). Uhm, this sexy cosplay girls ended up in the wrong anime or what? Oh, never mind. Michael seeks a potential Messiah candidate to help save the world and picks up a random normal guy from Japan’s streets! Not really sure if Michael is bad at picking up stuffs… Why didn’t she pick me then? Anyway, she begins training him to defeat evil by doing push-ups? Uhm, your nipples are showing, Michael. Oh, never mind. Enjoy the view. And some panty shots too. Praise the Lord! But when Michael gets hungry, Messiah cooks for her and she’s so looking forward to it. Then it is back to more merciless Spartan training but whenever he cooks omelette rice for her, she becomes docile like a dog wagging its tail. I wonder who is taming who?

Episode 2
Uriel is the ‘master’ of hiding because she believes in supporting Messiah from the shadows. This means trying to hold in the urge to go to the toilet. Is this what being patient means? Uhm, I think she might be some sort of masochist here… We see her trying to ‘hide’ at weird places but I suppose her boobs and butt are so big that they are offensively protruding. Pretend not to see her guys. Nothing to see. Move along. In the end, she gives in to her urge to urinate. So she wants holding it in because she doesn’t know where the toilet is and she can’t leave him out of her sight? As punishment she wants him to sexually abuse her?! In the end, Messiah was fired from his job and is having a hard time finding a new one. He goes home only to see Uriel trying to hide behind his sheets naked. Is this her idea of supporting him from the shadows for his job search? Oh, I can see instant rejections already…

Episode 3
Raphael drops in on a school festival and enjoys eating a low fat sugar free doughnut. She makes friends with the stall owner and thanks to her (sexy) advertising, his doughnuts are sold out. She praises his skills and thinks he is a master but he is humble and maintains he is still learning. She helps him out to research various desserts. Cue for fanservice when she has cream spilled so erotically over her hot body. Raphael learns he has no friends as he spends most of his time trying to make desserts. It is his dream to become a dessert chef. Raphael manages to set him up with a few people with the same interests for a training camp but since he is still lacking confidence, she gives him a special training. Sorry, nothing hentai. After having a great time making cupcakes together, Raphael realizes something. She erases his memories about her and lets him go. She believes he is much more suited for this profession than being a Messiah.

Episode 4
Sandalphon seeks advice from her compatriot from the internet. She wants to put off training her Messiah until he focuses and passes his exams. However the machine she made isn’t working. Yeah, looks like a torture device to me. She tries to make another machine that would relax him but she falls asleep halfway on the job. You know it’s hard to focus when she sleeps so sexy like that. But this guy’s virginity remains strong! Focus! Focus! Sandalphon then has him go out shopping with her to buy stuffs and it looks like a date. It’s like God is testing him because more moments that are had to focus when the machine washes her erotically and she cooks for him in a naked apron. Focus! Focus! Thankfully his hard work pays off and does well for the exams. Happy Sandalphon wants to start the real Messiah training. Looks like he needs to put in more hard work and no rest…

Episode 5
When you have such an angel as your nurse, you know you’re the luckiest bastard in the world or the most cursed one. Or both. Like this hospitalized dude who has Metatron as his nurse. Male fantasies kicking in. Because of her clumsiness, he fears her. However following porn logic, she owns up for her mistakes by washing his back with her huge boobs and his body with hers. Oh yeah. Praise the Lord! But then it soon turns to hell when she starts tying him up S&M style and uses all sorts of nasty equipment on him. Man, it’s like she turned into the devil and made him her plaything! We discover that whenever she touches a needle, she turns into a super sadistic person. Maybe that is why many fear nurses with needles… Yeah, Messiah almost died and went to heaven without even starting his mission. Time to repent?

Episode 6
Gabriel is virtual signalling to everyone in the red light distract that immoral activities are wrong. This coming from an angel who dresses like a slut! Apparently she thinks this normal guy who likes porn is her Messiah. So she follows him home and starts virtue signalling no porn! No this! No that! Then she becomes like his mother because she also tells him the right food to eat and the correct soap to use! WTF?! Nagging loli!!! Must be a tiring day of virtue signalling. Uh huh. She sleeps like a slut on him. Thankfully it’s his day off so he takes her to the amusement park and she happily enjoys it like a kid. At the end of the day, she shows him her true angel form. Why? Because illicit sexual activities are wrong and he should have a wholesome relationship with her. Why do I keep seeing queen control in his future?

Episode 7
A guy returns to his home only to see it being turned into some high level host club. Sariel is going to treat him with utmost kindness and blow away his bad day at work (shucks, I thought blow away would mean blowjob…). He takes advantage of this by burying his face in her boobs (the biggest among all Seven Heavenly Virtues) while complaining about his bad day. After pounding his face with her ass, this awakens his masochistic side as he wants more ‘system shock’. How is big boobs slapping your face work as motivation? Not enough? Tits sucking doing the trick? He wants more but looks like Sariel is all out of love. Claiming she is abandoning him, she transforms into her angel form. However her feather causes her to sneeze and the entire building explodes! I hope that was all the shock he needs.

Episode 8
The Heavenly Virtues are on a packed train. Apparently it was somebody’s idea to learn more about humans. Yeah… I have a hunch what is taking up so much valuable space in this coach… So packed that we only have boob shot spaces of our babes. Not sure what kind of train is that but it keeps hitting the emergency brakes so that the girls could slam their humongous tits into our faces. Like as though the conductor knew busty babes were riding and intentionally did that to make our day. Thank you very much. Because of that, Michael really wants to wipe clean this corrupted world! I believe all the guys here won’t mind dying today. But as more different get on, they start to believe and understand more of human actions. Is it me or has Gabriel been annoying all along trying to virtue signal and exact punishment with her non-existent boobs push? WTF?!

Episode 9
Michael has this brilliant plan to serve Messiah better. They will record themselves in training and distribute it to prospective Messiahs. Yeah, why do I keep thinking this is going to be like porn distribution? First we have them jump up and down to loosen the muscles. Oh yeah. You girls should keep jumping longer, know what I mean? Don’t worry flatties, I’m sure there are those who appreciate you. Next comes leg muscles stretching. Crotch shots, panty shots, butt shots, underboob shots. Man, we have everything! Stretch longer! Now they get onto a series of sexy training. But in the end, they all tire out. My verdict: You angels are pretty out of shape and not fit to even pant and tire like that! How the f*ck can you properly serve your Messiah?! At this rate I wonder if you would even get tired of doing a 5 minute blowjob!!! OOPS!!! Oh, okay. But please do send more of those videos, okie dokie please?

Episode 10
Our Heavenly Virtues are changing in the locker room as they tell about their Messiah they have found. They compare each of their Messiah and of course believe theirs is the best and ready to fight against the Seven Mortal Sins. When Michael words hers in a way that he is very much ready, they notice omelette on her face. They wonder what kind of training she had with her Messiah. Michael gets embarrassed and feels bad for lying. Wait a minute. Is lying part of the virtue?! Anyway she admits the omelettes taste so good she ate it multiple times. Then there is some big boobs argument between Sandalphon and Gabriel, both of whom have the smallest boobs among the pack. It ends with Gabriel losing. After finishing changing, the Heavenly Virtues return to heaven and Michael even hints they might come to your town. After seeing this, I’m not so sure now…

God Help Us All!
There you have it. From the looks of it, is it no wonder and surprise that I am expecting Lucifer to kick all of their asses and make heaven to fail and fall spectacularly?! Seriously. Even the so called chosen Messiahs would run away crying like a baby or even switch to the dark side! No wonder this spin-off series is so short. There is only so much fun you can put into the good side and anything more you will be looking more like the part of the devil. Oh wait. I have a feeling this series was devilishly bad. That’s like, it is bad enough that it is good and good enough to be bad. Damn I’m just so confused.

For those who have watched the first original series, watching this one in a way makes you think that you can’t really tell between the forces of light and darkness. Yup, the characters here look like busty cosplay dressing sluts than anything you would want to admire at first sight. That’s why it doesn’t make any difference if you are a Mortal Sin or a Heavenly Virtue because both of them look pretty slutty the same. Sure, such characters are designed with the male demographics in mind. Because it feels as though if they aren’t this busty, sexy or scantily clad, nobody would really become their followers. Uh huh. Sex sells. Even God’s angels know about this trick.

Hence the characters themselves are pretty much shallow. With not enough screen time and the plot which is close to nothing (trying to find a Messiah feels more like an excuse than a real plot or anything), thus the Heavenly Virtues are more likely to be portrayed as corrupted sluts that will corrupt further the mind of their chosen Messiah instead of turning him into a powerful fighting ally. Hence the damn irony that the Mortal Sins have more character than our slutty angels. Heck, Michael who had this sneaky b*tch wolf in sheep’s clothing character impression in the original series, she becomes another one of those dumb slut characters which is just shocking. Talk about fall from grace. No wonder Michael eventually lost to Lucifer. Yeah, the characters are more of fanservice tools for the fans in this case. Sad to see the Heavenly Virtues’ reputation get corrupted like that.

Yeah, it is fanservice galore when you know you’re going to have lots of boob shots, panty shots and crotch shots laced all over the short series. Yeah, and jiggle them as much as they can because what else are they going to do with such huge jugs anyway? Like as though it is the time limit for you to fap or something. It is most evident with Sariel being the bustiest of the lot. So much so I won’t blame anyone for mistaking her as some sort of succubus or demon of seduction. And for you S&M fans out there, that is why Metatron exists because of her other dark personality to whip your ass. Bonus points for those who have nurse fetish. You see, these Heavenly Virtues are supposed to play out their virtue that they represent but they end up making a bad name of their represented goodness. Is this misrepresentation? Some to a point that could even kill! Don’t worry, nobody was killed in the search of a Messiah. Perhaps only their humanity. Thanks angels for ruining our lives.

But seriously, having a misguided angel coming down to fanservice you thinking you are the chosen one? Some logic there. Oh yeah, like we horny otaku guys care. Hey, angel babe says I’m the one. Who am I to argue, right? Then I baulk at the first real test with Lucifer. Haha. What a joke it will be. What a tarnished reputation God and his heavenly angels would have. Uh huh. I can see why people would start to lose their faith then… Heck, even all the so called Messiahs that our angels chosen don’t even have a proper face! And most of them look confusingly the same so I thought they were the same lucky bastard guy being serviced by all of them. When their backgrounds don’t match, it is only then I realize they are different guys. Yeah, even the angels can’t coordinate themselves to find their Messiah. Oh yeah, just cast their net far and wide and hope they hit one. At this rate, I see they’re getting none. Didn’t they go back to heaven empty handed?

Among all the angels, the worst and annoying one I consider is Gabriel. This irritating little loli loves to virtue signal but thanks to her being the noisiest among the character, she somewhat stands out. Not in a good way in my books, though. So does being the representative for chastity allow you to annoy others and make you like a loli b*tch? Maybe keeping the chastity and not let your libido go is the source of her irritating character. If I have to point out the ‘best’ angel, I would say it is Raphael. At least her story. Unlike the others that is reduced to some fanservice slutty nonsense, Raphael’s story is the only that is pretty decent and at least touched my heart because she had the decency to know about her Messiah’s true wish and potential and let him go to his true calling. Now this is what I call a (almost) true angel. Too bad we don’t get this sort of story with the other characters.

Voice acting sounds pretty okay. Nothing special. Just a special little shout out to Hiyori Nita (Mai in Marchen Madchen) for making her Gabriel character sounding annoying. Good job in the sarcastic sense, that is. The other voice casts for the other Heavenly Virtues are Yumi Uchiyama as Michael (Momiji in Binbougami Ga), Lynn as Raphael (Maya in Sabagebu), Asami Seto as Uriel (Chihaya in Chihayafuru), Shiori Izawa as Sandalphon (Pina in Sword Art Online), Ari Orizawa as Metatron (Nozomi in The Rolling Girls) and Sakura Nakamura as Sariel (Rachnera in Monster Musume No Iru Nichijou). The ending theme, Psychomania by Yousei Teikoku is surprisingly a devilish good song. Even if the irony of its devilish sounding hard punk rock style, it really sounds addicting in a way. It also feels it is a song suitable for a battle when both sides clash.

Overall, if you think Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai was bad (although personally I thought it was sinfully good and enjoyable), this horny fanservice mess makes it even worse. It could even ruin your faith in God! All because of the sleazy fanservice and ‘plot’. Like as though this was a ploy to destroy your faith in the first place for all of you who still go to Sunday church. Yeah, this is how WEAK your faith in Him is in the first place. Now we all know who to blame if Lucifer ever defeats Almighty Himself and his angels in no time. The fastest heaven and hell war in the history of histories. Yup, blame Bridge the production studio who wanted to animate this. Because ironically it was Artland and TNK doing Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai so it felt like Bridge (Mitsudomoe, Devil Survivor 2 The Animation) wanted to do some quick cash grab and hence you get this fanservice ridden blasphemy. God took 7 days to create the world and all. This series took about 40 minutes to destroy it all. Goddamn I want to jump ship and join Lucifer’s faith and devote my soul to her!

Oh dear. With a name like Boku No Kanojo Ga Majimesugiru Sho-bitch Na Ken, I am sure you can guess what kind of anime this is. Furthermore, if you take a look at the promotional poster whereby it is shown from the point of view of supposedly the leading male character. From his first person perspective we see all the girls in the series gathered before you as they stare in curiosity, delight, amazement, shock or horror the banana that you are showing them. Mmm… So delicious. Oh yeah. That really says it all. If you think what this series is going to be, then you bet it is so if you have problems with this kind of ecchi fanservice show, this poster is a good indication (as well as that long ass b*tch title) to stay away. Me? I want to know what it is like to have a b*tch as a girlfriend. Really. Okay. Maybe not. I’m just here for the dirty and sex jokes.

Episode 1
Akiho Kousaka lifts up her skirt to let Haruka Shinozaki see what’s underneath. She’s not wearing anything! Damn dream… Haruka narrates he has always liked his class rep, Akiho. One day he manages to confess to her and she accepts to go out with him. Yahoo! It should have triggered alarm bells when the next thing she says she will remember all 48 sex basic positions! It gets even stranger when she wants to know his fetishes. Because she heard guys will get sexually frustrated if their girlfriend doesn’t understand their sexuality and is trying to resolve this quickly! Whenever Haruka tries to help her, she tries to think and associate he is some sort of masochist and tries to reply in that appropriate way. Haruka asks for a picture of her. Better be more specific or she’ll send you her naked body. Just her face will do. An erotic face… Haruka’s childhood friend, Shizuku Ariyama comes in to bug and tease him. With those ambiguous words, it makes him sound like a pervert. She is introduced to Akiho for the first time and with more of those ambiguous words, she makes it sound like they’ve got it going for a very long time. When Shizuku gets too clingy on him, this activates Akiho’s yandere face. Luckily Shizuku gets the idea and backs down. She then takes them to an arcade so they could have their pictures taken together as atonement. However she photobombs it and makes Haruka pay. Since Haruka ignores Shizuku, she tries to get his attention by fondling Akiho’s boobs. This might have given Akiho some weird ideas that they need to make their relationship more intense. Could it be secret sexy time at the gym shed? Nope. Some weird gym clothes dominatrix play… She tries to hint if there is something he would like to try out in this erotic magazine she planted in his bag. But taking a look at them is too much for her. Need more studying? Akiho gets desperate to intensify their relationship by planning to hug him from the back and whisper in his ear. But he turns and her boobs got in the way, causing her to fall on top of him. As she is still worried about their relationship, he tells her not to think too much of what Shizuku says. It is something they will decide and will be resolved in time. When she calls him by his first name, he flusters. She thinks he wants to be called pig instead. For the umpteenth time, he isn’t an M.

Episode 2
It’s raining so Akiho thought she could run through the rain just to let Haruka see her bra line. But s is disappointed when he has an umbrella to share. Kanata is Haruka’s little sister. She enters his room to bug-cum-seduce him as usual. Then she finds out he has a girlfriend. World crumbling? She tries hard to hide she isn’t jealous. Next day in school she meets Akiho for the first time. The moment she lays her eyes on this beauty, Kanata tries to show her standing by mentioning all the stuffs she did with Haruka. Ambiguously of course. And Akiho believes them all! Haruka manages to resolve that misunderstanding but Kanata comes to bug them again during lunch time. During the fuss, she accidentally pushes Akiho. Akiho is alright but just disappointed it didn’t turn into some perverted situation. Kanata regrets what she did and in no time, the girls now become friends. The school cleans up the local neighbourhood. Of course Shizuku and Kanata doing very ambiguous stuffs just to tease their guy. When Akiho hears some guys talk about switching girlfriends, this causes her to worry as she asks Haruka if he throws away his belongings. He would but then again he wouldn’t because he would have gotten attached to it. Akiho is so relieved and she hopes he would continue to treasure them. He doesn’t understand why she likes his stuffs. Inspired by an anime, Akiho decides to make bento for Haruka. From the looks of it, it doesn’t look good. Here comes Shizuku to show off her cooking. And tease she specializes in cooking and men… Akiho then begs her to teach her how to cook. Master, please! Got more than she bargained for. And so Shizuku teaches Akiho how to flirt, oops I mean cook. Yeah, can’t help insert all those sexually charged and ambiguous lines, eh? After eating the beef stew, Shizuku teases she wants to eat his banana. What’s this? He agrees?! Shizuku panics and flusters. She didn’t think he would let her. But that’s just it. Letting her eat that banana fruit. Her sexual teasing power has considerably decreased… Haruka walks Akiho home. As it is raining, she pretends she doesn’t have one so she could share it with him. Everything looks fine and dandy until he comments they better walk faster or else they’re going to get wet. She doesn’t mind a guy getting wet, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

Episode 3
Natsuo, Akiho’s dad is shocked when she tells him Haruka is visiting today. Your wonders on Akiho’s sexual awkwardness is answered here because she got it from her mom, Fuyumi. When Haruka arrives, only Fuyumi is at home so she entertains him and he is starting to see how this is running in the family genes. A few flashbacks regarding Fuyumi’s ‘education’ of Akiho. No wonder. Double whammy? So when the rest get back and Haruka seems to be happy that Natsuo is a normal guy, the girls think he swings that way! Dad is shocked learning his daughter will go on a first date with her boyfriend. Don’t worry. Just go watch a movie. If mom could not give those ‘extraordinary’ advice… As advised to do research, that head tilt advertisement has Akiho tilting her head to the exact degree to be attractive. Not that Haruka would notice anyway. During the date, Akiho seems to be concentrating on observing others around her. Like the lewd ugly couple about to make out on the train and the movie despite a romance genre has a few soft porn scenes. At the end of the date, Akiho realizes too late that she was so focused on her research that she didn’t do anything fun with him. He tries to cheer her up by inviting her to see the sakura blooming next week. She might be too eager as she is thinking of preparing large portions of everything. So serious that she falls sick in school. Man, the way she drops on her knees and coughing is like as though she is giving him a blowjob. WTF?! Taking her to the infirmary, yeah the busty nurse, Aoi Koshimizu is another of those sexy cock teasers. While Haruka waits for Fuyumi to arrive and pick her, looks like Akiho is starting to break down as she starts spilling drink all over her body. Mom better get here fast or the sexual ambiguity will be getting worse. Oh wait. It doesn’t make a difference. It runs in the genes. Thankfully she gets better and they head to see the sakura blooming. Unfortunately they have withered from last night’s rain. Akiho fails badly in trying to hide her disappointment so Haruka tells her they can come back here next year and watch it. This makes her very happy and for the first time we see her most beautiful smile.

Episode 4
Rina Saijou was from a super rich elite all-girls’ school. Guess whose class she transferred into? At first she sounds like a normal person wanting to make friends. Till she mentions her hobbies are romping with hairy males. WTF???!!! It’s no wonder other girls shy away from her. Akiho and Haruka soon discover the ‘hairy males’ are her pet dogs. Dogs are treated equally like humans in her home. As Rina comes from a school with only girls, so her transfer here is to research on relationship with men? Uh oh. I can see where this is going. And hence you’ve got all the sexual innuendoes from her like how it is a natural thing for Rina to molest Akiho as a girl’s greeting. And Akiho had to recommend Aoi to coach her about guys… When Shizuku learns about Rina, she claims she is Haruka’s mistress. Rina is ecstatic and wants to become his mistress too! Then there is comparison between their boobs. Shizuku is flat enough that she starts crying. It looks bad on Haruka like as though there is some harem fight so Akiho dispels the misunderstanding there is no adultery. Because Haruka is a loli pedo! At the end of the day, Rina leaves the duo in more shock as she gives a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Haruka and the girls hang out at the zoo and you can bet they are seemingly more interested at the animals mating… It gets worse when there is a dog petting section and they start comparing the dog’s to Haruka’s, you know, that. And hence all other subsequent animals are now compared to him. Haruka is now the most observable ‘animal’ at the zoo… Meanwhile Kanata is also here visiting with her friend, Misaki Aikawa. Her tendency to nickname her ‘sakicccho’ causes her much distress and confusion because it roughly means the tip. Also at this zoo is Natsuo and Fuyumi as part of their old people date. As Natsuo sprain his ankle, Fuyumi had to support him on the way out. There is where they bump into Haruka and Akiho. It gets even awkward because they are right in front of a love hotel! Yeah, we can rest here…

Episode 5
Rina finally gets a handphone. She test calls Akiho and as expected, they talk about dirty stuffs. She has Haruka teach her how to take a selfie and edit it with effects. When she wants to show others, she lets the whole world know she got a facial pic with Haruka! You mean facial filter? In order to be a better girlfriend, Akiho doesn’t want Haruka to tell her anything so she must guess what he needs. At first all her guesses are correct (and surprisingly non-sexual) to provide to his needs. But soon in the eyes of others it looks like he is turning her into a slave. Rina and Shizuku also join in on this but you can expect what kind of prediction they are going to make. With Haruka looking tired from it all, Akiho thinks it is because she didn’t have the power to summon the ghost of a young girl. During the meeting between class reps, Saori Igarashi is always wary of Akiho because of her tendency to suggest seemingly lewd stuffs. Like there’s this one time somebody suggests a changing room for the boys, she doesn’t think it is a good idea because it will turn them into gays! Saori has to spend most of her time shooting down her ideas. And now, refusing her suggestion to allow guys to bring their own porn magazine because of individual fetishes. Akiho then brings up she overheard Saori doing some ‘tongue training’. Although it was for her saxophone practice, soon everyone falls into Akiho’s pace to really think it was a different kind of tongue training and sully her character. Akiho has hiccups and methods that seemingly protrude the boobs don’t work. As she is putting lab items away with Haruka, Shizuku is hiding in the closet hoping to scare them. Then she hears very risqué and ambiguous words from them. Panicking, she gets busted. I’m not sure about this strange method Haruka is trying to cure her hiccup. But all is cured when she sneezes. However now Shizuku has hiccups. Haruka has her drink some water. Yeah, she is ‘swallowing’ it. Kanata didn’t realize she got a box of condom in her cart. Because it had chocolate flavour written on it, she assumed it’s a snack and puts it back on the snack aisle. Misaki sees it and is shocked to see a box of condoms there. However she thinks she might be thinking too much. It could be just some high premium snack, right? So when she buys it, the cashier feels odd. Because they’re talking different things, she thinks she is going to do in several guys because ‘one box isn’t enough’! And she is going to use it and share them right after school! Bon appetite! Imagine all her friends’ shocking face when she decides to share it with them. And then her smile turns into tears when she truly learns what it really is.

Episode 6
Seiya Hoshikawa returns to class and all the girls swoon over him. Yup, he is that popular. This has Haruka thinking if Akiho would fall for him too and his worst fears might just come true as he sees her talking to him. Seiya showing off his chest?! Haruka goes a bit crazy as he thinks of hugging Shizuku to show it to her. Eventually when he sums up his courage to face Seiya, long story short, it seems Seiya wants to be friends with him. That is why he was talking to Akiho who is his girlfriend. Phew. Nothing wrong about that. But when Haruka says something about a hole, this turns on Seiya and wants to prepare one for him! OH SH*T! I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS HEADING! Even this is sending shivers down Akiho’s spine! Everyone writes their wish for Tanabata. As usual, lewd wishes. Haruka thinks Akiho might have done the same thing too but she really gets disappointed he thought like that. Her wish is to spend next year’s Tanabata with him. As Akiho puts away some gear in the storeroom, she sees Haruka and Seiya in a compromising position at the back! Holy mother sh*t! What the f*ck are they doing?! After all that ambiguous gay talk, the real deal is actually Seiya teaching him how to bat. So when Akiho confronts them, Haruka doesn’t want to let her know that he was practising his batting and wants to show it to her in tomorrow’s game and hence only raises her suspicions about them being overly gay. The next day as the softball game begins, it is Haruka’s turn to bat. He will put all that he learnt to use. Too bad he bats into Seiya’s balls!!! Not painful but EXCITING???!!! Great stick handling?! Making the situation worse is how Haruka goes to ‘examine’ it, making it look even more ambiguous! Thankfully Akiho is a straight girl after witnessing such gay antics for so long and she can’t bear to watch it anymore. Later she learns the truth of his practising and notices the bruises on his right hand. She considers it as proof of thinking of her while he was at it. If you get that lewd joke…

Episode 7
Haruka and Akiho stumble upon a weird dog at a park and play with it. It fetches back weird things. Like this bondage thingy. Then it sniffs up on Akiho’s crotch but looks down on Haruka’s. This dog turns out to be Rina’s family member. Akiho’s class will be going camping so she thought of handing out a pamphlet on understanding outdoors. Why does it sound like it is for a dog? Saori thought she could show off her genius by helping her classmates with the outdoor questions. Looks like everyone knows what to do. So disappointed… Till the other class reps show up to ask her for help, she couldn’t be happier. At the camp, Seiya’s cooking attracts the animals. Yeah, they are going for his ‘mushroom’. Haruka thought he brought real mushrooms but luckily Akiho stops him from going over there. With Haruka away, Shizuku hugs the wrong person and Kanata waits anxiously for her brother to call. When he does, she acts like he is the one who misses her. Night falls and the class plays kimodameshi. Haruka and Akiho are paired up and with Seiya’s encouragement, Akiho uses this chance to cling onto his arm and Haruka thinks she is scared of the darkness. Saori and the boys try to scare them but some slipup occurred. Saori finds herself in the unfortunate fanservice end as the boys take picture of her instead. When Rina’s scream is heard, it seems she and others who were playing the ghosts are also passed out. Turns out to be Seiya in a weird getup and I don’t know how in all that confusion, they end up in a pretty ambiguous position. So much so when Saori decides to scare them herself, she sees this ‘horrifying formation’ and freaks out. Yeah, she is the one who is most scared and traumatized by it that she wants to sleep with Sayo Shizumori. Not that she minds being lesbian with her… Later as the girls take to the bath, they learn Akiho has a boyfriend. This leads to various talk and certain ‘outdoor fetish’ and night visits. The boys are eavesdropping every part of it since Saori is the one blowing her top. That night as Akiho wonders if Haruka will pay her a night visit, he suddenly shows up. Why does he have this sexual harassment look on his face? He takes her to a quiet spot as her mind starts to go crazy if he has decided to go that far. In that case as his girlfriend she shall honestly answer to his needs. Turns out he just wants to walk hand in hand with her to a nice scenic spot. Disappointed? But she accepts his invitation and laments her lack of experience being his girlfriend.

Episode 8
Saori notices after the camping, there are now lots of couples. Noticing a pair just came out of the science room, she checks to see if anything fishy. Sayo hiding in the closet and breathing heavily. No, not an illusion. I guess she got turned on watching the previous couple’s amazing performance. With someone coming in, Sayo forces Saori into the cramped hiding. Lesbian fondling? Haruka and Kanata come in. She gets down on her knees, touch his something and suddenly white stuffs squirt all over her face! What is it that he said about everything comes out with a touch?! Actually it’s a milk packet and they are here to eat lunch. He tries to find a cloth and opens the closet. Lesbian fondling? Saori and Haruka are on different wavelengths. She thinks he is being horny and he thinks it is about his lunch. When he gets a clue to what she means, he says Kanata is his sister but this causes a bigger misunderstanding as she thinks he is into incest. Later Saori forces Haruka to write an apology letter. Little does she know, her skirt is tucked into her shima pantsu. Haruka notices this and he knows he will be in a situation where damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t tell her. The only option is to make her realize it herself but his gestures sound so lewd! With Akiho coming by, Saori thought she could get her on the same side but with Akiho noticing her slip, her answers are mainly towards that and not Haruka. When Saori finally realizes herself, she realizes Haruka has been trying to hint to her. She fears he will not forgive her for doubting him. Not sure about Haruka now being some enlightened angel to erase all her fears. She also goes along with his pace but feels confused by everything. In the end, he still has to write that letter.

Akiho realizes she forgot to bring her panties. She wore her swimsuit initially but forgot about the latter part. With Sayo noticing this, she gets her thrills by observing the sticky situation she is put in. Akiho’s ‘faith’ is being tested when Haruka suggests doing many ‘dangerous’ activities that has a high chance of lifting her skirt. From getting bread at a crowded area and then having lunch together in the secluded forest, every step is such a heart pounding paranoia for her. Finally it gets to the part where she thinks everything is all clear so she tells him she is going to show him her no pantsu! Haruka realizes what is going on but had to smoke out spying Sayo. She really wanted to see more… Haruka is glad Saori isn’t here to catch this for who knows what might happen. Meanwhile, she has this premonition somebody is talking about her. History repeats itself as her skirt is again tucked into her pantsu. Akiho is pretty flexible during stretching but Haruka is stiff. She sends the wrong signals to all the guys believing stiffness is good for a boy’s health. Rina on the other hand is also stiff. She thinks she is soft but this sends all the wrong signals to the other girls over that soft part. As Rina puts away the net, she trips and somehow ends up in a BDSM position. Haruka and Akiho try to free her but the stupid teacher lock them in without checking. With Rina afraid of the dark, she is holding onto Haruka in a compromising position. Even Akiho trips somewhere… Haruka needs to take control of the situation and turns on the lights. Akiho and Rina in a sexy 69 position!!! How did this happen???!!! When Rina’s agents bust in and see this, they commend Haruka for his NTR. Later they send him an inflatable doll for him to use. Returned immediately! It’s a good think Kanata doesn’t know what it is.

Episode 9
As Haruka waits for Akiho at a mall, he gets a call from her that her dad has sprained his back so they’re taking him to the doctor. While it is unfortunate their date is cancelled, fate has a way to replace it. And because it is time for Shizuku to get her fair share of screen time. Spotting Haruka there, she has him go out with her. We see her trying to sexually tease him like having him open the changing room while her bra is unhook and then having him go shop for a swimsuit with her (which backfires because the saleswoman just revealed her A-cup size). Then she hints to come to her place because her parents aren’t home. However she panics when she didn’t get the desired reaction because it seems he is okay with it and doesn’t want her to be alone. At her place, suddenly she screams for help. Looks like she is handcuffed in her room. Is there a robbery? Nope. She thought she tests this out but somehow she forgot where she placed the keys. And hence another round of making Haruka do things for her with lots of her usual teasing style like going to the toilet and brushing her teeth (so erotic…). She hopes he would romantically carry her back to her bed but he carries her over his shoulder like a rug. So disappointed… Some flashback how Haruka used to come stay at her place because he was scared and despite they both have changed a lot, she notes he still has not changed. At least not his kindness. Haruka then realizes the key is in her own pocket. Somebody trying to play dumb. As he tries to get it, she makes it sound like he is f*cking her.

Akiho needs to make up for the date. She overhears Shizuku wanting to make lunch for him. In order not to make it sound so obvious, Akiho also hints about it but Haruka can see how obvious and tempting she is. I guess he too has to play along a hints he wants somebody’s cooking. As Akiho cooks, Seiya comes from Haruka’s behind to teach him how to use a knife. If that wasn’t bad enough, Akiho is in shock staring at them that she didn’t notice her cooking is on fire. Haruka wants to warn her but Seiya holds him back. This back and forth motion makes it looks so gay!!! OMFG!!! Looks like somebody got eaten! In the aftermath, Akiho hypnotizes herself her burnt cooking is good. That’s why she loves it even when she eats it. For further proof, she lets Rina eat it. Hmm, nothing happens. But behind the scenes, Rina is almost dead! She doesn’t want Haruka to let Akiho know because of this friendship thingy. Eventually Akiho finds out and is disappointed about herself. She thinks Haruka is trying to be considerate when he wants to eat it. She doesn’t want him to get sick. In that case, she’ll just have to take care of him. The fact she made it for him makes him happy. Akiho is so touched and happy that she is ready to take care of his body. From top to ‘bottom’. Shizuku who has already made something for Haruka, decides to let Akiho steal the limelight. Later Akiho and Shizuku discuss the things in Haruka’s trash. Used tissue papers, silicon pipes and a bunch of little girl pictures?! When he protests he has nothing, they get the wrong idea it means he is fantasizing about someone. Even more ‘shocking’ when Haruka wants to prove it all by inviting them to his room so he can show it properly to them. Gasp! What are they thinking?!

Episode 10
What’s this? Haruka is dating Akiho who is acting like a pretty decent girlfriend?! This is the kind of girlfriend he always had in mind. Could this be a dream? Yup. It is. F*CK!!! Haruka tries to study maths when Seiya comes by to help out. Oh no. However he cannot go further after hinting his knowledge is only in ‘filling holes’. Kanata wants Haruka to teach her about insemination! Actually she meant biology. Misaki works part time at an ice cream shop. Shizuku comes in and is asked if she wants a cone or cup. Mega cup size please, while crying… Next is Seiya. He orders a popsicle and gets another one free. He gets excited because he has never done it with ‘both hands full’ before. Akiho orders her topping with double scoop and a banana. What male anatomy does this look like? Then she takes a selfie of doing ambiguous stuffs with it. Misaki becomes worried and paranoid wondering if she is the one with a dirty mind. Finally here comes Haruka. He can’t remember the name of the ice cream so he describes it as something round, has a tip that pokes out and milk comes out when you suck it. Misaki really lost it. So much so she starts thinking if she has to give sexual advances to customers!

Haruka fell asleep in class and even when it is time to go home. Attempts to wake him up fail so Akiho thought of touching his head. Suddenly he wakes up from some loli nightmare. This forces Akiho to ‘improvise’ as she pretends to sleep. When they walk home together, Haruka wonders if he has done something wrong as he thinks she is mad. She then says how unfair it is for him to pat her head while she didn’t get a chance and wanted to. He thinks she is trying to kiss him from the way she prepares herself but she pats him with both hands. On a hot afternoon, the class has to go outside and sketch. Haruka doesn’t know the danger of sketching with Seiya because he is suggesting to sketch something bitter and slimy! Luckily Akiho is there to take him away for a change in scenery. Haruka then sketches Shizuku and Rina. He wasn’t looking when the wind blow up their skirt so when they tease for him not to get excited, he exclaims he wants to look at it even in more detail! This causes embarrassed Shizuku to beat him up and only subsequently he realizes what it was all about. Finally he settles to sketch Akiho. Looking at her reminds him of all the times they spent together. She looks so beautiful as he sputters he loves her. Embarrassed Akiho took a while to regain her composure before she also returns the favour by confessing she loves him too. Later he shows her his finished sketch. Well, we don’t get to see how bad it is because Akiho is obvious pouting. Nothing Haruka can do to fix this. If they were on a sexual relationship, I guess this means no sex.

Life’s A B*tch. Then You’re Screwed!
Oh wait. So that was the end of the TV series? Man, I didn’t know it just ‘ended’ like that. You see, I thought this series had a dozen episodes but subsequently looks like they only have the same number of fingers on both our hands (the balance was probably reserved for the OVAs). Because that little feel good moment between Haruka and Akiho didn’t feel like the series had ‘ended’. I thought it was just one of their usual ‘progress’. Yeah, so it did caught me off guard a little there. After all, they’ve already been out on a date so what is a little sketch in the woods and hand holding got to do? Oh, I should have read the signs. When Akiho says and does something really sensible and Haruka coming to summarize how much he still loves her, that should be the hint. The catalyst to bring about the ‘end’. Oh heck. I’m going to b*tch about something even if it does try to end properly. You can’t really ‘end’ this kind of show at this point, can you?

The bulk of the dirty jokes and fanservice comes from the girls themselves. Feminists would surely be screaming off their heads about the sexual objectification of girls but anime and Japan don’t give a f*ck to those b*tches. It is definitely male fantasy to have girls acting and talking dirty because for many of them here, it looks like they could be potential porn stars! And also, having females being the perverts look less ‘offensive’ because if it was the guy who is that freak, everyone would just scream rape regardless of the context.

You know you’ll be in for some fanservice ride when the opening credits animation shows our very Akiho choosing her panties to wear. What a starter. More fanservice too with the ending credits animation as we see the girls posing seductively for a camera. Are they really in a porn shoot because it looks like a movie studio… With moves, expressions and camera angle shots that parodies closely to porn to the ambiguous one-liners in the mid-intermission eye catch throughout the series, either it will force you to be turned on and go fap after the episode is over or you would get so irritated with the shallowness and cheapness of it all that you’ll… Nah! Since when did you get over your immature and childish dirty jokes for something more refined?! It’s okay to like sleazy and sh*tty fanservice too!

The ambiguity of sexiness continues even till the end of the episode at the next episode preview. Not really so much of a next episode preview as it is a series of Haruka and Akiho’s trip to the love hotel! Gasp! With ambiguous lines and that slow sexy jazzy saxophone in the background, it leaves us up to our imagination of what the duo might be doing as the journey sees how they end up in a love hotel room and get it on. Of course, don’t expect it to really happen and falter in some unspectacular fashion. Disappointed or relieved? And what the f*ck is this Matrix-like room?! Just to promote the OVA?! Can’t leave until you ‘get some excitement’?! Oh, looks like the journey isn’t over. On to the uncensored of the BDs!

Therefore when you have decided to watch this kind of show, you are going to have to set your expectations that some of the characters are going to be dirty minded and hence lots of sexual innuendoes abound. Some of them but not all of the girls here aren’t actually as horny as you think they are. They just sound and look like it but they are far from being a nympho and just wanting to get laid. For example, Akiho who contributes to most of the sexual innuendoes is primarily a socially awkward person. You can partially blame her mom since she got half her genes. In her bid to please her boyfriend, and I mean please in the normal sense to make him happy in a normal couple relationship, she thinks too much and hence making her look like some sort of pervert. But one good thing I find about Akiho is that she is straight instead of being a bi, lesbian or BL fanatic. This is evident each time she sees Seiya getting close to unsuspecting Haruka, she would panic and hope for her boyfriend to realize and get away!

At first I was thinking why Akiho is considered a b*tch since she doesn’t act like one. If there needs to be a b*tch, it would be Saori’s character. At least she is closest to it. But then again, my definition of b*tch seems to be a woman who is hard to please and makes life difficult for others. It’s a slander, right? Then I found out this b*tch term could also refer to a lewd and immoral woman. Well, I figure in this context Akiho fits the bill then. I also thought Sho-bitch in the title was a play on words meaning, sure-bitch but it is just short for shoujo-bitch. Can guys be b*tches too? Well, long ago, many decades ago, a famous American video game programmer once proclaimed his next greatest game ever that he will make you his b*tch. Sorry that didn’t happen.

Shizuku is the other dirty minded girl but she is only acting so. She is not a horny girl who wants to have sex or let Haruka do her in. This is evident as we see her often tease Haruka in a very sexually ambiguous way in hopes to catch his reaction. However when her plan backfires and it might seem the potential of getting on with some sex act is real, she panics and withdraws. It goes to show that Shizuku only wants to see Haruka’s embarrassed reaction and is using her childhood friend status to get it. Kanata on the other hand may also look like a horny little sister but all she wants is the attention of her big brother. Not really sure if she is really ignorant at her age because there are some sexual terms she is unaware of its meaning. Maybe if she was in elementary school maybe but she is like a year younger than him. Hard to believe that girls in this anime has not lost their innocence yet. Innocence of the mind, that is.

Rich girl Rina too sounds horny at times but only because she has lived a very sheltered life and treating her dogs as equals. Rich in wealth but poor in sexperience… Oddly for girls who come from an all-girls’ school to not freak out seeing a man her age, she is kinda cool. Maybe she has interactions with men before outside her school but if the reason for her to transfer here is just to explore more about the opposite sex, is she in that desperate of that experience because very rarely a popular onee-sama of a school would leave all her imouto slaves behind just for a dick. Really. Sure, online research can only do so much. And of all guys in school, why Haruka? Because other guys are being pussies for not liking girls who explicit talk dirty even though she isn’t. No wonder Haruka gets all the dirty talking girls. And there seems to be this small running joke that she often ends up tangled in a 69 position with Akiho. Just somehow. Lesbian fanservice?

Non-perverts like Saori and Misaki are in danger of becoming perverts themselves. Because when you have so long been surrounded by girls who talk dirty, the influence is sure strong. Saori tries to play by the book, the strict b*tch whom guys wouldn’t like. Most of the time her plan backfires and this makes her look bad. Like as though fate is trying to corrupt and tempt her to the dark and dirty side. On the other hand, I blame Misaki for being around Kanata for so long that she is starting to fantasize and overthink non-sexual and normal stuffs into some sexual delusion. But unlike Akiho, Misaki is already embarrassed at the thought of it while Akiho has no shame and says all that comes to mind.

There are true perverts too here. Especially Aoi as the school nurse. I don’t think she is socially awkward and all the sexual innuendoes that she posed are actually on purpose. This is one dangerous woman and if you’re not careful, you’re going to be eaten alive by her. Sayo is another pervert but she is more of the watching kind. She likes to observe the actions of others and gets her kicks with all those heavy breathing and possibly wetting herself in the process. And Seiya… Oh God. Girls scream when he enters the scene but his true love can be the one and only guy who has the name of a girl. Yeah. Each time Seiya pops up, I’ll be screaming, “Egads! It’s Seiya!!! Run, Haruka!!!”. It will be everyone’s worst nightmare if gay things were to happen. Far worse than that running joke of Haruka being falsely labelled a pedo loli. Or a masochist.

Last but not least, Haruka himself. The most normal guy ever like any other main leading protagonists who is surrounded by perverts. Especially girls. See Seitokai Yakuindomo and Shimoneta to understand how it feels to be a guy trying to be normal but dirty minded girls around him just keep forcing him to make him resist like hell. You got to respect Haruka for trying to be the best boyfriend that he can. He is trying to resist the urge to devour Akiho although he won’t likely turn into that big bad wolf because he is such a nice and considerate guy. Sometimes it feels that Haruka’s case isn’t like winning the lottery but biting off more than he can chew. In the sense that he confessed to the girl he likes and instantly got her to be his girlfriend. Hooray. Then suddenly she wants to show him her pantsu. Got more than he bargained for, eh? It’s not such a bad thing for a guy but there is always this worry that even though guys love their girls to be sexy and horny, there is a possibility this might attract other men and she doing the same to them as though it is nothing. Because, men, right? It’s good to see Haruka and Akiho taking things in the right direction albeit a very slow one. But I’m guessing he has to endure more sexual innuendoes and misinterpretation because it doesn’t look like Akiho is going to change any time soon. I suppose to truly love a person is to also love all their faults.

The art style of this anime makes the characters look a bit leaning towards the moe side. If you have seen series like NouCome, Kodomo No Jikan, Astarotte No Omocha, Ro-Kyu-Bu and Shinryaku! Ika Musume, the characters look almost like these. Those series are animated by Diomedea and jointly with Studio Blanc. One think I would like to note is how some of the girls’ faces have this slut and nympho-begging-for-sex look. Especially Shizuku and Aoi. Just by looking at their faces, they have this I-wanna-get-banged-now look. Also, something about their eyes that make them look weird too. I don’t know, do they look a little bigger than they should? Uhm, come to think of it, it makes them look a little like aliens… Must be just me.

One thing to note is Aoi Yuuki as Akiho. From my guess, it is like she has lost her voice after voicing and screaming her way through that idiotic main character in Aho Girl. Yeah, it takes quite a lot of energy to pull off that character. So for this season, I figure she might need a little rest and hence the very emotionless and ‘tired’ sounding Akiho. Well, this isn’t the only series in that particular season that Aoi Yuuki is voicing a character in this similar fashion. Because in that same season, she also voiced the titular character of the Kino No Tabi remake. But as far as this series is concerned, there were a few times when she almost went into her usual trademark voice especially when Akiho is in shock or surprised but didn’t cross over that line.

The rest of the other casts in the series include Mitsuhiro Ichiki as Haruka (Kazuya in Freezing), Rarisa Tago Takeda as Shizuku (debut role), Yuki Yagi as Kanata (Gabriella in Augmented Reality Girls Trinary), Natsumi Yamada as Rina (Nico Saruwatari in Busou Shojo Machiavellianism), Juri Nagatsuma as Saori (Hayuru in Masou Gakuen HxH), Marin Mizutani as Misaki (Sadako in Brave Witches), Miki Hase as Sayo, Iori Nomizu as Aoi (Haruna in Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka), Jun Miyamoto as Natsuo and Aya Saitou as Fuyumi (Satoshi in HaruChika). The voice behind Seiya is Arthur Lounsbery who is an American born Japanese. He has roles in other animes which I didn’t see like Haikyuu and Starmyu.

Aoi Yuuki sings the opening theme, Eien Labyrinth. Not to say that she is singing in her usual upbeat voice in this generic anime pop. Her singing still has that cuteness in it but sometimes I can sense that there is that tiredness from Aho Girl. I know it’s all a coincidence and she might be singing in this fashion to be as close to her character. The ending theme is very idol-like, Ai No Himitsu by Pua:re (a quartet idol group consisting of the voices behind Kanata, Rina and Misaki. The fourth member, Miyuu Ogura is only a singer).

Overall, definitely one of those low quality and cheesy productions of the season and year. I can see why so many with ‘refined taste’ bombarded this series mainly targeted for loser otaku males as they find it so cringe worthy. Oh well, I guess there are more sophisticated porn out there that you can get if you pay a little extra. But since I am such a simpleton, I did laugh and find all the sleazy sexual innuendoes funny. Yeah, I had an enjoyable time. Somehow those childish dirty jokes never get old. At least not for me. Because one day all the good stories will run out and we have to revert back to tasteless sex jokes and cheap fanservice. One day when all the women have more refined and superior tastes in men and all things, the power to choose and reject whoever they want, whose b*tch will you be then?

Teekyuu S9

February 16, 2018

OMG! It happened again! Teekyuu has one more surprised us with a ninth season and the main reason I am speculating why they randomly decided to do a single season is so that they could breach the 3 digit episode mark. Yup, just a few more episodes to reach a century. You’re almost there! You can do it! But still they can’t get to Wimbledon…

Season 9

Episode 97
Tomarin narrates her day in life while living with Marimo. Does she take a dump twice? Then she goes off to explore the world. She thought of destroying mankind but gets drawn into the pachinko parlour. Too bad she lost lots of minute in 30 minutes. Then she gets attracted to horse racing and like history repeating itself, she lost lots of money in the same time. Then she gets drawn into a host club and is forced to buy liquor while talking to a strange woman. More money lost. She is about to destroy mankind when a gangster invites her to play a game that doesn’t involve money. It is jenga but if you lose you will die! Tomarin loves this game… So fun…

Episode 98
Nasuno’s birthday is soon and they want to throw a surprise party. I don’t think digging a pit trap is going to cut it. Other silly ideas include cutting her up and putting her in a box, sneaking into her house and robbing her. Marimo and Kanae are bad actresses trying to convince Nasuno to make an appointment to come to her house. Yeah, it’s to look at her furniture. When they arrive at her place, Kanae accidentally drops the cake box. In hopes for it not to be squished, she surprises Nasuno by tossing it in her face! Once the birthday is no longer a surprise, they give her presents. Kanae has a box of creepy doll parts in which when you put it together will turn into… Fish cake? Surprise! Marimo mistakenly brings doteyaki instead of dorayaki but Nasuno likes it. Yuri and Youta give her a t-shirt that is so tight that it is squeezing her boobs. Oh, it has a picture of Carlos on the back.

Episode 99
Marimo warns Yuri not to make any quips about Kanae today. That’s because last year she did something like that and it turned her into a pervert. Wasn’t Marimo always a pervert? Kanae then comes up with a song on a shamisen. She jumps the gun thinking Yuri said something. Suspicious… Kanae then wants to go to Nasuno’s house to make idol clothes. Again she thinks Yuri said something even though Yuri was just being monologue in her head. They design a strange outfit that includes the horn of a narwhale. Yeah, the horn is sticking out from the butt. Nasuno has been making all sorts of silly quips and this didn’t even make Kanae suspicious. Till the rest quip it is probably those quips is the reason Nasuno’s spin-off got cancelled! Yuri can’t take it anymore and is going to quip at Kanae. See, nothing happened. Oh wait. Suddenly Yuri has a beard! Marimo and Nasuno have dreads while Kanae is a unicorn?

Episode 100
I bet they were waiting for this episode… In this ‘special’ episode, Kanae hosts the top popular characters of the series although no poll or votes were taken. 9th and 10th places are characters whom we don’t know. The bakery manager gets 8th spot. Then we have the whole Usakame characters taking their spots in the 20s range. Yuri is ranked 7th and man, she looks so disappointed. I mean, really disappointed. Hey at least better than Marimo who is 48th. Or Kanae who isn’t even in. If you care to read, from 5th to 100th are the names of weird people ranked. Yeah, really weird people that makes you go, “Who the f*ck are these?!”. Oh, Tomarin is 5th and Youta is 11th. And now for the top 4 spots. All occupied by Nasuno!!! Obviously somebody got bribed…

Episode 101
Yuri and Tomarin accompany Kondou to interview clubs. Too bad this school doesn’t have any decent clubs. From a very talkative baseball guy (who sorts balls based on gender), the tea ceremony club who makes funny faces and the light music club who plays death metal music (screaming all the way!). Then there are other weird clubs like the loan shark club and butt club. Seriously. Finally it is the tennis club in which we see our girls doing serious power shots. And Yuri wants them to make jokes? Yeah, Kondou has been sleeping in all the interviews…

Episode 102
Yuri is made to go cycling with her pals. Yeah well, Nasuno has got a penny farthing, Marimo is riding a Spanish donkey (that wooden horse torture device, that is) and Kanae riding a giant eel named Hideo! Riding their normal bicycles up the hill, they have to ignore all the people pleading for help. It’s a good thing because it sounded like those people were disappointed they didn’t fall for their trap. Then they go downhill and barely pass through several points of interests (read: dangerous points). They decide to race home but Nasuno plays cheat by riding an electric bike while Marimo starts running on foot. Yuri plays catch up and when she thinks she has surpassed those in front, they’re actually those unknown characters a couple of episodes before. Were they invited?

Episode 103
A couple of Nasuno’s dolls plan to curse her but it only rejuvenate her. Then Ayano comes in to inform one of their villas has been turned into a cursed house. The dolls decide to bring them there in a bid to curse Nasuno to death. Exploring the house, a bear scares Ayano but rest assured it is just a stuffed bear but with a lot of hate inside since it was killed by a shotgun. Then there is a flying curtain hook with a grudge since it always got stuck in the rails. Suddenly the dolls grow up into adult versions. Ayano too! Now she’s got all the curves. When the dolls want to curse Nasuno, she beats the hell out of them! Then she tears down the house. Now the dolls and those apparitions there live together with Nasuno. Things just got weirder…

Episode 104
Since mom isn’t home, Marimo and Tomarin go shopping. After all that brick Tomarin prepared tastes like rubber. When Marimo asks if there is anything she doesn’t eat, she doesn’t mean things like dynamite. And when Tomarin asks her the same thing and Marimo replies nothing in particular, it doesn’t mean you can buy rubber bands for dinner. When Tomarin tries some tomatoes she explodes into slime! Don’t worry, she can put herself back together again. Albeit some missing parts. Back home, Tomarin kneads the meat with her ‘golden balls’. So how does the steak taste? Like rubber. Suddenly Tomarin is going to explode but it is Marimo who is blown up instead.

Episode 105
Today’s episode is all about illusions. The girls visit the hall of illusions. For starters, this entrance is just a cardboard illusion. Kanae ordered tickets but they got noodles. With animals sticking out of the picture, they’re actually real! Marimo gets bitten by a tiger. Must be an illusion, eh? But the pain isn’t… Then they meet the owner and curator of this hall, Charles de Gollam. He demonstrates using his illusion powers of bending a frying pan and going through walls. All using physical force! The girls experience more endless illusions as they start thinking they are trapped in a picture, which is true. But Kanae points out they’re actually in an anime in which Nasuno rebuts animes that aren’t well animated might as well remain as manga… We know Teekyuu isn’t right?! :-).

Episode 106
The girls help out a granny at a shrine since she is going to hold a festival. Too bad grandpa is sleeping and can’t wake him up to help or else he will sue! The girls have to take out the little shrine from the closet and carry up the stairs. Kanae remembers her past life to do construction work with heavy machinery constructing a music stage. Is that Bon Jovi invited to sing?! To negotiate the vendors for the stalls, it seems they are all gangsters and ruffians. Luckily they are a kind bunch but strict with the money. There are also a bunch of old characters randomly returning to operate the stalls. Then grandpa died. His handphone dropped into the toilet bowl, that is. The festival starts well but it ends up being some idol signing event.

Episode 107
The girls visit the zoo. And no, Yuri is not an animal. Looking at the map, the zoo is divided into living animals and raw animals… But the ‘animals’ behind the cages are things like gloves, plastic bags and empty cans… And so they all stare at Yuri like as though she is some exhibit. It makes her feel uncomfortable… When they think they could see a major animal, it turns out to be an old man and the zoo’s supervisor. He is the only animal here. 3 years ago the zoo used to have lots of animals. But he misused the funds the buy luxurious cars and a trip to Dubai, spending on his mistress and living a luxurious life. It is no surprise it went all downhill and he had to sell the animals. Nasuno uses her family influence to rebuild the zoo. The bad the old guy didn’t learn his lesson and continue to spend it all.

Episode 108
The girls visit Nasuno’s botanical garden. Expect the unexpected as we see a huge living tree made out of concrete (which makes it not living in the first place), a huge banana with lots of mini bananas inside it, a herb garden that contains various herbs such as curry and petrol, a Japanese garden that contains a desert cactus and an aborigine who has lived here for a few days and is a wi-fi addict. Then they all have a nice tea garden and decorate each other with flowers. So lovely. So heavenly. But the big question that has Yuri pondering… Will we have a tenth season???!!!

Final Fantasy: Mad Rant Children
OH YEAH!!! Even after coming this far and with so many seasons behind, it still doesn’t get tiring because of all the random nonsense in very short 3 minutes. And so I am hoping that they will be doing another 10th season so as to take advantage of the perfect 10. Oh yes, it is time for Teekyuu to reach Ten-goku (the heavens). Haha! And then we can aim to reach 1000 episodes!!! Oh sh*t!! Will I still be alive when that happens???!!!

There is nothing more to b*tch about this season because what I want to say are the same and have been said in my past blogs of its previous seasons. The wacky characters, the random minor characters, the fast paced talking and the very random jokes that either you will get it in a split second or not, everything here feels at home at what Teekyuu should be.

The only difference that this season has than its predecessors doesn’t is that for the first time we have an ending theme! But because of this, doesn’t the episode proper feel a bit shorter? We’ve been short-changed! Kaiun Soufuku Etenka by Earth Star Dream has a bit of this carnival feel to it but the song is still overall wacky. Even wackier and crazier is the ending credits animation in which our Teekyuu girls have this manly face!!! Oh sh*t! Too real to handle! I don’t know if I can take them seriously if they have this serious face. But they do look like real contenders for Wimbledon… Nah! The opening theme is as usual another crazy hard rock based, Dream First Sensei-shon (that’s a pun for ‘sensation’, get it?) sung by the voice behind Yuri.

So yeah, I’m waiting for the day they will announce the 10th season because there is no reason not to. And no, I don’t want another season of Nasuno’s spin-off or that super boring Usakame counterpart. Nothing but Teekyuu will do. Carry on, girls. The kind of random and silly nonsense that you have always been putting up since the first season. It is the only kind of madness that I can accept and thanks to its 3 minutes limit, I won’t go crazy and instead it made my day. It’s good to know that in this (anime) world there are such heroes who don’t wear capes… Okay, maybe not entirely heroes. Just plain (funny) idiots.

After 2 years a certain coming of age adventurer and his busty goddess ventured into the dungeons and walk their destiny, now we go back and do that all over again. That’s right. Dungeon Ni Deai Wo Motomeru No Wa Machigatteiru Darou Ka Gaiden: Sword Oratoria not only made the ridiculously long title to even ridiculously longer, it tells the story and events then from a perspective of another character, namely the beautiful Aiz. I guess that is why she didn’t make so much of an appearance in the original since she was away doing something else. Hence this spin-off isn’t technically a sequel and not quite a total retelling or remake. Oh well, if we’re tired of Bell and Hestia, I supposed we have Aiz and her Loki Familia to focus on.

Episode 1
At level 50 where leader Finne Deimne and his party are resting, we are introduced to some of the members like the Lefiya Viridis, the Amazon twins Tione and Tiona Hiryute, beardy guy Gareth Landrock, Riveria Ljos Alf and of course Aiz. Riveria talks to Lefiya who is particularly down because she froze during the battle. Bete Loga is much harsher, condemning the mage for being a chicken and all. At the same time, Finne talks to Aiz for charging into battle alone. He acknowledges her strength but she could end up putting others in danger. The place is suddenly attacked by acid spewing caterpillars. Be careful coming into contact. It really burns your skin. With a few taking damage, Riveria seeks Finne’s permission to let Lefiya take care of the enemies as she needs the experience. She begins her incantation but once more fear overcomes her. She can’t do it. Oh well. Time for Aiz to kick ass again. Riveria takes over Lefiya’s place to finish her incantation and burn all the caterpillars crawling all over the place. It is decided that they retreat despite coming down this far since the caterpillars have caused rockslides and that makes their passageways more dangerous. Lefiya is left to reflect on her own actions but she is also troubled that Aiz too has her own trouble but doesn’t show it. On the way up, a group of Minotaurs surround them. They try to get rid of them but a bunch just fled. This part coincides with the first episode of the original series where a Minotaur cornered Bell and Aiz immediately cut it down, leaving him all bloodied like a tomato. She tried to help him up but he ran away screaming. Bete teases he ran away because he got scared of Aiz’s monstrous strength. Aiz isn’t impressed and pouts…

Episode 2
On the way home, Lefiya feels depressed she had to let Aiz save her again. She has got more to worry when she got the short end of the stick as she became victim to Loki’s boob fondling. It’s like déjà vu again because Lefiya once more depressed in the shower before falling victim to Loki once more. Noting Aiz too is down, she vows to cheer her up. So is fantasizing about it half the battle won? Maybe it’s just self-satisfaction? Finne, Riveria and Gareth talk about the benefit of having Lefiya around Aiz because it could make her think about others. Lefiya manages to give some crystal drops to Aiz. As she is pleased, cue for more happy delusions? Let’s hope it doesn’t get to her head. The ladies head out to get new weapons or do some maintenance over the dulled ones. Lefiya buys a potion for Aiz as a good luck charm. Everyone converges at the pub. The familiar scene of Bete getting drunk and starting to mock loudly about that tomato guy causing that poor kid to run away. Aiz felt bad for him and seems to be even more down ever since. Riveria talks to her and finds out about it. Aiz wonders if she should apologize to that boy but Riveria doesn’t want her to be hasty. If she finds him, she’ll have the right words to say to him. Lefiya thought a change of pace would be good. So they take her shopping for clothes. Lefiya and the Amazons argue what clothes will look cute on Aiz. I guess the one that make her look like Hestia is no go. A lovely dress takes the cake. Aiz apologize to Lefiya since she tried her best to cheer her up but she’s still like putting up that frown face. Tiona hints she should use a better word so Aiz thanks her. Now everyone is all smiles. Until Lefiya again becomes Loki’s victim, not even Aiz can help her out of this one. Sorry.

Episode 3
At the banquet of the gods, Loki meets Demeter and Dionysus. They talk about the Monsterphilia that Ganesha is going to hold during the festival. Demeter notes Dionysus has come up with a wicked scheme. Aiz and Lefiya go night hunting in the dungeons. When they get back, Riveria scolds them for going out this late. Loki butts in and as punishment, Aiz will accompany her to the festival. This puts a damper on Lefiya since she already made plans to go with Aiz on that day. Well, that’s her punishment. Can you stop crying and go to sleep already? During the festival, Loki is called to meet Freya. She is not pleased she has to play along with her scheme because of a certain kid who caught her eye. During the Monsterphilia event, Lefiya and the Amazons notice something amiss. So when they head outside to check with Loki, it seems there are monsters unleashed all over the city. Don’t worry. She sent Aiz to do the job. Before them pops out some snake-flower monster. The Amazons fight it but its skin is so damn hard. Lefiya begins her incantation but takes serious damage when whipped away. Lefiya reverts to her cowardly side. She prays for Aiz to come rescue her like always. Speaking of which, here she is. Even after destroying it, 3 more pop up. Seeing Aiz in trouble, Lefiya decides to stop being a loser. If she wants to support her, she has got to do better. So Lefiya starts chanting a rare spell that only she can do. It allows her to duplicate an infinite number of other spells and hence her nickname, Thousand Elf. She freezes the entire place and crushes the monsters. It’s not over yet as Loki wants them to take care of the remaining monsters at various place. Aiz drinks the potion and lets Lefiya drinks the rest. Indirect kiss? Later Loki confronts Freya for going overboard. Especially the snake-flower monster. However Freya says she did not see or release such monster. Could it be Dionysus?

Episode 4
Aiz gets back her sword but because she broke the one on loan, it’s going to be costly. Hence she thinks of doing more dungeon raiding. The rest agree to go with her. When they decide to take a rest at level 30, they feel something strange. The town is less crowded. Finn’s friend, Bors mentions there has been a murder at Willy’s inn. Of course they’re going to check it out too. A horrible murder site as the victim’s head is smashed beyond recognition. Bors went to buy a potion to force reveal his identity. He is Hashana Dorlia from Ganesha Familia and ranked level 4. Bors gets scared when a high level guy could be done in like that. So he suspects Finn’s ladies. But basing them based on boob size? No wonder the Amazons are mad. Looking around, it looks more than just a simple robbery. His items are ransacked and assuming the culprit didn’t get what she wanted, she could still be in this town. So Bors announces he is going to body check everyone. Get ready to be frisked, ladies! Don’t be silly. The girls will do the checking. However they all want Finn to do it and this earns Tione’s wrath since she considers Finn all for herself. Aiz and Lefiya spot a panicked girl who ran away and chase after her. Meanwhile Loki takes Bete to investigate the sewers. At the reservoir, they stumble into those snake-flower monsters. Bete going all out should have destroyed the entire place but the monsters are the only casualties. When they resurface, Loki bumps into Dionysus. Bete smells the same scent underground. As they talk, Dionysus admits he was in the sewers but to investigate. Previously 3 of his Familia members were killed and he believed these monsters are related to their deaths. Loki thought Ganesha is involved since Dionysus notes Monsterphilia is the perfect cover for the murderer. However he reminds her the origins of Monsterphilia. Uranus was the one who started this festivity. Aiz and Lefiya talk to Lulune Louie from Hermes Familia. She fears for her life thinking somebody is out to kill her. She confirms the item in her hand belonged to Hashana as she got a quest from a mysterious employer to exchange it. Aiz takes this item into her care. It is an orb with some monster foetus? It’s alive! Aiz is immediately overcome with fear. Lefiya holds on to it since nothing happened to her. At this time, some hooded guy blows his whistle and snake-flower monsters start popping all over the place.

Episode 5
Loki goes to see Uranus. She tells him what happened during Monsterphilia. She is trying to blame the Guild at fault but he denies. I guess that’s that. The hooded guy tries to strangle Lefiya. Guess who comes to her rescue. Aiz knows this person is Hashana’s killer. Wasn’t it a woman? Indeed. Revis rips off her fake skin. No wonder Hashana was faceless. She used his skin to masquerade as a man to move around easier. She wants the orb that contains the seed. However it breaks and the seed latches onto a monster to become a, uhm, monstrous monster. Everyone else fights and defeats it while Aiz dukes it out with Revis. When Revis recognizes her wind power and calls her Aria, this leaves Aiz shocked. She takes a massive blow and is about to be killed. Guess who came to save her? No, it’s not Lefiya. The rest heal her as Finn battles Revis. Although she injures him a little, she realizes the odds are not in her favour and runs away. They continue searching for clues but nothing. They believe Revis will lie low for a while now and take some time to train new monsters. They notice Aiz has been more aggressive ever since but she’s not saying anything. She requests to stay back alone. And without food? Riveria also supports this. So now everyone wants to follow? Too bad not enough food. Finn allows Riveria to stay with Aiz. He hears her reason. Riveria knows the inevitable will happen to Aiz and will explode sooner or later. When that happens, she wants to be where she can see her. Okay, first up is the floor boss, Monster Rex Udaeus.

Episode 6
So Udaeus wields a sword because it has never done so. Cue for Aiz to be caught off guard and get slightly injured? Udaeus chipping bits of her armour off for fanservice? Of course Aiz refuses to stay weak and fights back till she defeats it. Riveria then asks about her problem in which she finally reveals that Aria thingy. She tells her that everyone in the Familia treats her as part of their family. When they return, they see Bell unconscious after using magic. Aiz wants to know a way to apologize to him. Lap pillow? When he wakes up, he rolls away! Ran away again. When Aiz tells this to Riveria, she can’t stop laughing. Later Aiz has her stats updated. It seems she has reached Level 6. But she doesn’t seem happy. Loki and the rest discuss about the Guild pulling strings behind the shadow. Riveria brings up about Aiz’s Aria so they think it is time they talk to her. Aiz goes to see Eina after she learns Bell is under her and is glad that he isn’t afraid of her but very grateful. They overheard a few guys talking about Bell going to be scammed. Eina knows Bell will be in trouble again so she requests Aiz to go help him. So she makes hastes down the dungeon, asking adventurers if they have seen Bell. She manages to cut down the remaining monsters before Bell gets done in. He runs away again but not before thanking her. Too bad she didn’t have the chance to apologize. Aiz senses somebody nearby as a dark mage then pops up before her. She is the one who contacted Lulune and has a request for Aiz.

Episode 7
The dark mage has a request for Aiz. Head to level 24 to investigate a monster outbreak. It might have something to do with Revis and the orb. Dionysus talks to Loki about the strange swarm in level 24. This outbreak is affecting the adventurers and the Guild has done nothing. Loki receives message that Aiz has gone to level 24. She needs to bring the troublesome girl back and sends Lefiya and Bete to retrieve her. To earn Loki’s trust, Dionysus sends Filvis Challia with them. However elf girl and wolf boy don’t get along. They hate each other from the start. Can’t blame her as she is some lone survivor of some nightmare level 6 years ago. Aiz meets up with the party for the mission. It is Lulune? Also, the other Hermes Familia members led by Asfi are also joining in. Uranus is not pleased Fels sent Aiz on that quest. Her reason is that they don’t want to make enemies out of the Loki Familia and Aiz is the best person to handle this situation. At level 24’s Pantry, they see the swarm marching. Aiz takes them all out with no sweat. Just practice, huh? Lefiya worries about Filvis being cold to them. When Bete almost touches her, she almost becomes a deranged killer. Investigation shows some strange blob blocking the path is preventing the swarm for getting to their food source. As they head inside to investigate, the passage seals itself off. Snake-flower monsters attack and they realize they’re trying to separate them. When Aiz is separated from the rest, she is confronted with Revis. Bete and Lefiya ask Bors about Aiz’s whereabouts. When Bors sees Filvis, he identifies her as a banshee. He warns Lefiya to stay away from her as she is cursed. No one who teamed up with her has ever returned alive.

Episode 8
Aiz corrects Revis that she isn’t Aria. That is her mother. Bors continues explaining about that nightmare level. A dark faction named Evilus led by Vendetta, misled adventurers to level 27 where they were forced to fight a battle royale with floor bosses. Evilus was eventually eliminated but the scene on that floor was like hell. Filvis as the only survivor looked almost dead herself. She tried to reorganize her party but each time her members die and she is the only survivor. That’s how she earned that nickname. Lefiya being the stubborn one continues to talk to Filvis and will not stay away as suggested. She still consider them a team. When you’re so persistent, there is nothing more but to laugh and accept. Asfi’s team stumbles upon a pillar and an orb is embedded in it. As they try to investigate, a Tamer lets loose his Violas (snake-flower monster) to attack them. Asfi fights him but gets stabbed. Before he could kill her, here comes Lefiya’s side to the rescue. He reveals the Pantry is for Viscum (a bigger plant monster) to feed off and produce Violas. Monster producing monsters? This is so he could destroy the city as wished by his goddess. He unmasks himself to be Olivas Act of Vendetta. He is supposed to be dead. He was. Till his goddess revived in. A magic stone is embedded in his chest. He starts praising his saviour like a lunatic and how she is the one who should rule the land. As everyone continues to battle, Aiz and Revis’ battle got too epic that it had to spill over. Aiz shows why she is awesome but Lefiya-Bete combo also prove they are no lesser. They manage to destroy Viscum. Bete beats the crap out of Olivas and in his pathetic state, Revis kills him by stealing his magic stone before devouring it. It should make her stronger but she knows it isn’t enough to beat Aiz. She will lie low and get stronger for now before their next face off. In the meantime, she tells Aiz to head to level 59 where the answers she is seeking for lurk. Everyone flees as the pillar collapses. Finn and Loki receive this report. Knowing that Aiz wants to head to level 59, it’s a good excuse for them to start another expedition. Lefiya tries to research on Aria. From the book Dungeon Oratoria, A spirit, a race most beloved by the gods.

Episode 9
Aiz sees Eina in hopes of apologizing to Bell personally. Coincidentally he is here. Oddly, to stop him from leaving prematurely, she jumps in front of him and his face ended up in her butt! When she apologizes, Bell then corrects her that he is the one who should be apologizing for running away. Leaning he has no one to teach him but yet has improved vastly, she offers to train him although she feels bad it is her plan to see the secret of his progress that she might use to improve herself. Lefiya is practising to ask Aiz one of those things. Failed. Next early morning she thought of waiting for her this early but she was already up earlier. She tries to follow but bumps into Bell. He runs away learning she is part of Loki Familia. Finding him fishy, she tails him and is disheartened to Aiz carrying him away (their training ended). Because of that, she is in a bad mood. She confronts Aiz about it and learns the truth. But she still feels jealous and wants one on one training as well. Okay. Even so, she isn’t happy because she keeps comparing herself to the treatment Bell gets. Better shape up or you’ll lose to that kid. Too bad she wallows herself in jealousy thinking Bell is monopolizing Aiz for himself when she is the one who kept fainting during training. It’s no surprise Aiz wonders if her training is helping her at all and wants to take the next day off. Lefiya bumps into Dionysus who is thankful for helping Filvis recover. Since Filvis is fond of her now, she helps her train. At least it takes her mind off Aiz. Aiz continues training Bell but this time with Hestia watching over as agreed. No funny stuffs… On the way back, they are ambushed and surrounded.

Episode 10
After a short bout, the assassins leave and warn Aiz not to get involved further or die. Aiz recognizes them from Freya Familia. She reports this to Riveria and they wonder if Freya Familia has anything to do with the recent incidents. Loki also mentions they know somebody has been communicating with the enemy but they don’t know who. Aiz continues training Lefiya and she has gotten better. Still trying to compare herself with that kid? Aiz also trains Bell for one last time before her expedition. Loki Familia will be separated into groups for the expedition and Aiz is in the first group. Before she departs, Lulune is here to give portable rations. She also gives a pendant from Fels. She is supposed to wear it when she goes to level 59. After a while trekking into the dungeon, they spot a few group of injured adventurers running out. They claim some Minotaur attack and Bell is handling it on his own. Instantly Aiz rushes to his aid. However she cannot tell where the Minotaur’s roar originates from this maze. She then spots very injured Lily. Unfortunately her path is further blocked by Ottarl the King. He is the only adventurer who is at level 7 and hence the strongest. He wants a death match with her. Aiz believes this is what the warning was. No choice she has to fight him but the longer she drags this out, the more danger Bell will be in. Luckily her comrades come to distract him and she uses this chance to run past him. Finn then confronts Ottarl if this is the will of his Familia and that Freya wants to provoke them. He claims he is acting on his own accord and leaves. Aiz arrives in time to defend Bell. But this time he won’t let her fight. He doesn’t want her to always protect him. He picks up his dagger and continues fighting the Minotaur as the rest watch in awe how much Bell has improved. And as we know, Bell defeats it. Lefiya is in the second group and starting her descent. She sees Aiz and Riveria running out carrying unconscious Bell and Lily respectively. Her heart just broke. The duo bring Bell back to Hestia who can’t thank them enough.

Episode 11
Resting at level 50, Lefiya asks Aiz what is the deal with Bell. She says he is on an adventure. Because of that, she starts spacing out. More so when she hears others who saw awesome Bell in action praising him. I guess after too much sulking, she realizes she can’t compare herself to others now. She has a goal to catch up with the rest. How could she have forgotten it. Uhm, jealousy? Everyone is excited for tomorrow’s raid and can’t sleep so Lefiya gets more motivation about the team’s vow to protect each other from danger. The descent to the lower levels begin. On level 52, dragons on level 58 start shooting fireballs through the ground at them! Well, it’s a shortcut for many of them but Finn doesn’t want Aiz to follow since they have a couple of supports and they’ll take the normal route. Also, those who took the shortcut are here to clear the enemies for them. Yeah, who needs magic when you can cut their fire breath into half or deflect it! Oh right. If you need to destroy multiple targets at one go, here’s Lefiya’s magic. Meanwhile Fels tells Revis that Aiz is closing in on level 59 and yet she is still here eating magic stones. Revis knows she is still not strong to take on them. She doesn’t care if Fels uses her but in exchange she’ll do whatever she wants. In worse case, she’ll just retrieve Aiz’s corpse. Once the monsters are cleared and the rest of the party reunite, they take a short breather as Finn feels odd about the next level. From Zeus Familia’s records, it is supposed to be a very cold place but they’re not feeling the slightest of it from where they are. Well, only one way to fight out. It is a place where no humans have set before. To their surprise, level 59 is a humid jungle. They see caterpillars being devoured by a monster that has been evolved by those orbs. It then flowers open its humanoid version and lets out a creepy shriek. Aiz is shocked to recognize it as a spirit.

Episode 12
The spirit is calling for Aria to be devoured. The rest realizes these new monsters were created to be its food source. Finn has everyone ready to attack but the spirit is able to chant magic! Although they counter it, it has no effect. It pulls off another surprising by chanting another consecutive spell and even faster! The flames are so great that it blows everyone away. Riveria and Gareth take the biggest damage while trying to protect the rest. Finn rallies the rest to continue fighting. Need more motivation? He quotes Bell’s name. That should do it. As they race to take it down, the spirit starts up another chant. Luckily Riveria manages to chant and take down its personal defence and Gareth using his elephant strength to tear through its thick vine defences. With everyone clearing the path for Aiz, it is up to her to deal the finishing blow. The spirit still has some tricks up her sleeve, though. It still has some short range magic ready to fire at her. Luckily Lefiya was fast enough to pull off a magic to protect her. Aiz uses all her strength to finally defeat it. And the greatest reward for Lefiya is when Aiz pulls her in to hug her. Not a dream. The party returns to the surface and of course a big party to celebrate their victory. We see Fels learning from Uranus that spirit is actually a fallen shadow of a fallen spirit. Its true form lies in the deeper levels and the one on level 59 was just to guard a more powerful entity. Spirits were once blessed by the gods to help humans but this one was turned inside out, became a monster while maintaining its identity, consumed by its primal impulse to survive. So those new monsters were created by it too. The irony is how a spirit was once sent to save mankind now threatens the city. Its leader is Enyo who will destroy the city. Loki discusses with the rest about the fallen spirit and why it targeted Aiz because she had blood descended from the spirits. They fear that those orbs will be used to create more of those spirits and then summon those spirits to the surface. Since we didn’t have Aiz-Lefiya personal time today, we have one now with Aiz thanking Lefiya for her magic or else everyone would have died. Lefiya refutes that as pure luck. Still not confident? Lefiya gets permission to always follow her. Time for a hug. Not dreaming. The Amazon twins join in. The more the merrier, right? Well, Loki wants to join in. However everyone avoids. This time Lefiya instinctively does a judo throw on her. At least she improved in this aspect.

DunGirls: Sword Art Oratoria
Sighs… If only the rest of this series was as exciting as the final episode. Otherwise this entire spin-off feels boring and the way it ended only serves to bring up more questions than answers. So I am not sure if that fallen spirit is the answer Aiz is looking for because I thought it was her mother but a quick checking on the internet said it wasn’t so even though her mother is a spirit and hence she is a descendent. I know the adventure is going to be a long road but with this kind of ‘ending’, it is just like completing a mini side quest. Okay, maybe just the first level cleared and there are 99 more levels before you reach the true boss for the true final ending.

I am not sure if we have been trolled because it could have been our fault for expecting that this spin-off was going to be focused a lot on Aiz. It could have been the expectation from the hype. I don’t know. However after watching this season, we only got half of that and the other half was what no one asked for because we got Lefiya instead. It’s like Bell never left us because as I somehow feel she is the female version of him. Sure, there are a few other characters that this spin-off tells but not as much screen time and focus they give to Lefiya. They should have named this spin-off Gay-den or Lesbian-den or something instead.

While it is good to see the events that has happened on the Loki Familia’s side, sad to say that the plot and pacing doesn’t fare well. We are introduced to subplots that make the series feel like as though it is a standalone rather than something that can be added to the original DanMachi series. Because with the introduction of Revis the direct antagonist, Freya plotting some shady scheme and Uranus similarly moving his plans along, it feels like this spin-off is heading towards a different direction instead of merging with the adventure from Bell’s side. Wow. That’s a lot of antagonist for one small series. And I didn’t even mention Ottarl yet (although he is under Freya Familia). Oh, there was Olivas too but he got killed off. And who is this Enyo dude they throw in?! Man, the problems are just getting bigger. I know I’ve said it is a different Familia and hence a different adventure but one would have expected to see how Aiz’s side ties up with Bell’s side. There are some moments that do coincide with the original but other than that, the story diverges differently. It’s like resurfacing from the water to take a short breath before diving back for a long one.

So to start off with the characters, if you’ve watched the original series, you’ll know a bit about Aiz and this spin-off expands a little bit more about her past. Just a little bit. Very little bits. She is always having this poker face so I’m not sure I can tell how deep her problems are because like Riveria once pointed out, everyone has their own problems. We don’t know how deep it is for Aiz except we know it should be the deepest. Because main heroine. We just know that she is the daughter of some spirit and hence her ability to use wind powers and the reason she is interested in Bell is not because of anything romantic or the natural matters of the heart but rather she wants to get stronger and she believes this kid was the right person to that goal. Well, she did level up to level 6, didn’t she?

If the lack of Aiz is already worrying and annoying, imagine putting in a lesbian fan admirer her would do. Yup, it made it even more annoying. That is what Lefiya is. Basically like I said, she is like Bell because she starts off weak and despite improving as the series progresses, she is still weak. I mean, if you want to compare her to the rest of the main characters in her party, she is still by far the weakest. Yeah, her special duplicate multiple spells whatchamalit thingy is something that is one off like how Bell has his own set of unique abilities. Impressive but they can’t spam it always. Lefiya is already annoying as she fantasizes about her one-sided love and dream dating with Aiz (supposedly the running joke of the series for her), it gets even more annoying when she starts to consider herself as Bell’s rival. Oh Aiz, you are sure one popular girl. It should have served as a motivation for her to do better but instead she got blinded by more jealousy instead.

I mean, the mere seeing of Bell with Aiz without fully understanding why they’re together already makes her blood boil. You so scared Aiz will be taken away by another man not part of the same Familia? When is she going to learn that Bell is Bell and you are you. Stop thinking about others and start improving yourself. To show that Lefiya is not all that bad, she conveniently becomes friends with Filvis. A character that has been so traumatized that nothing else would have brought her back and Lefiya is the first one to do so? Well, maybe nobody dared took the chance. After all, Lefiya doesn’t know her background well. She just heard about it from Bors but that wasn’t enough to scare her despite the risky rumours and coincidences surrounding Filvis. So what has she got to lose? In order to not make Lefiya look like a total amateur loser, hence I figure her pure luck in her magic chanting gone right that saved the day and ultimately her beloved. Beginner’s luck. Okay, okay. I also hope Lefiya would grow into a stronger character too and stand by Aiz’s side.

The other main characters of the Loki Familia are also okay but nothing too deep on them. Finn, Riveria and Gareth as the ‘old veterans’ of the Familia make them good leaders and mentors with their vast experience. Then you have the Amazon twins who are partly for comic relief, partly for fanservice and partly for some action variety. Because isn’t it like a joke when you have one sister with a well-endowed body but the other sister is as flat as a washboard? When it comes down to it, they’ll use their boob size as weapons and counter arguments. That is the only way how I could distinguish the twins effectively. Really. Oh, it must be a running joke for Tione too since she has this shameless crush for Finn, would do anything for him at his beck and call and you would be dead meat if you try to even make a move on him. He’s all hers! Nobody touches him! Finally Bete. This dude might need some anger management class but I am sure he’ll rip it apart before the session could start. I suppose being uncouth is his way of interaction because tough guys don’t show their caring via the conventional lovey-dovey way. That’s so gay for him.

Loki is supposedly taken from the Norse God and is very well known for the mischief caused. That is why she is seen here like a joker character and hence my theory why she is turned into a woman is so that she could do some cheesy boob squeezing fanservice. Imagine if Loki was a naughty guy, we would definitely see him as some perverted bastard. The effects seem less and we don’t think too much of it if the gender is switched. But too bad the only girl who ever falls into Loki’s prank is Lefiya. It’s like the running joke of the series as all other girls are smart enough to avoid Loki time and somehow Lefiya gets drawn the short end of the stick. It’s like a punishment for being an annoying character. Not even this fanservice could save you, Lefiya. That last bit there avoiding Loki was just pure luck and coincidence. I’m sure she’ll be back to the usual victim soon. Is this the fanservice we get in place of Hestia? I could hear somebody screaming they want their loli boobs back…

I don’t know. I don’t really feel I missed the other characters from the original series. Not even Bell or Hestia. Welf or Lily. Syr or Ryuu. Ouka or Chigusa. Maybe I’m not a big fan so I didn’t miss them at all. Many pop up and make cameos as part of the overlapping storyline but they hardly do anything that is unexpected because you know, we have an idea what they were already doing in the original series.

One of the strong points of this spin-off is the action parts. I mean, if you compare it to the original, this one fares better (as I have already mentioned the final episode ‘boss fight’ was quite thrilling since it took the might and cooperation of the strongest Loki Familia to finally bring it down). This is because Bell was such a beginner and he is still learning. Here, the Loki Familia are all experienced dungeon crawlers with a vast amount of fighting experience. So fighting vicious monsters whether in town or the dungeons, they make it look like a piece of cake. Except maybe Lefiya. We also get to see more of Aiz in action especially using her wind powers that we did not get to see in the original series.

Yuka Iguchi who sang the opening theme for the original series reprises her role here for the opener too, Re-Illusion. Nothing special about this anime pop in my opinion, though. The ending theme is Day By Day by Kano. It feels like such a happy and calming song like as though this is the song that Lefiya uses when she fantasizes about Aiz. Heck, the ending credits animation is about the Loki Familia having a nice picnic on a nice day. With many of the casts retained, new ones include Sayaka Ohara as Revis and once again she is casted as a villainess. Even though it feels like stereotyping, I find nothing wrong with that. The rest are Hisako Kanemoto as Filvia (Ika in Shinryaku! Ika Musume), Mikako Komatsu as Fels (Neko in K), Toru Ohkawa as Uranus (Roy in Fullmetal Alchemist) and Hikaru Akao as Lulune.

Overall, while this spin-off might have been decent on its own right, it didn’t live up to expectations and falls short of what we wanted. I mean, instead of getting more of Aiz, we got half of that and the other half went to an annoying elf. Therefore it is a double edged sword as it somewhat makes this spin-off feels unnecessary considering how it all ‘ended’ but at the same time its consolation is that we get to know what happen on Aiz’s side during the same timeline and events. That’s about it. Therefore I think there will be a dilemma if another season is announced, would it be a continuation of Bell’s side or Aiz’s side? If they’re going to blend in both somehow I think it will be quite confusing seeing that both Bell and Aiz totally have different agenda lest it all overlaps and coincides soon enough. Worse, I don’t want another season telling the perspective of another character during the same timeline! Who you may ask? Freya… Curious what she has been planning during all that time? I’m certainly not curious enough to stay and find out.

Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai

November 18, 2017

Holy holiness! I thought this was somewhat the sequel to that action fantasy adventure, Nanatsu No Taizai! Then I realized something is wrong when I saw the promotional poster. Sexy busty ladies?! Wait. Am I seeing it right? Shucks. What a misleading title. Again. Because in that same season we had Zero Kara Hajimeru Mahou No Sho in which I mistook it for another anime sequel thanks to its suspiciously similar title. Thus it is the same too for Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai. It has nothing to do with that series about a group of former baddies trying to take over a kingdom now taken over by corrupted knights who were once the heroes. The only thing in common is the use of the seven deadly sins as its theme. Everything else differs so much. Oh, sexy busty ladies, huh? I can see where we’re going with this one.

Episode 1
Crucified Lucifer falls from heaven as she blames Michael for this betrayal. She crashes into a church. Maria Totsuka, a normal human seems to be able to see her. Before she plunges into hell, Lucifer gives her an angel’s life. Down in the most bottom depths of hell, the demon of envy, Leviathan is excited to see Lucifer crashing down. She has always looked up to her and starts caressing her body. She suggests they take over hell by defeating the other Mortal Sins but Lucifer will not follow orders from anyone. This makes Leviathan mad as she attacks her. Her weak attack has no effect as Lucifer remembers Michael telling her God’s punishment to her to atone for her pride forever. Lucifer breaks free and I think her transformation into some cosplay made Leviathan adore her even more. She vows to follow her. Bringing her to the castle where the Mortal Sins rule, Lucifer is attacked by the demon of wrath, Satan. Of course she is no match for the fallen angel and gets busted. We are introduced to the other busty demons like Mammon (greed), Asmodeus (lust), Beelzebub (gluttony) and Belphegor (sloth). The leader of them all is Belial (vanity – what is Bayonetta doing here?!), she believes Lucifer is here to invade hell. Lucifer takes up Leviathan’s suggestion to beat the crap out of everyone and rule this place. Belial orders the rest to fight her. Nobody moves. Okay. She’ll do it herself. Too bad Lucifer easily destroys her family sword and rips her clothes in the process. Gnosis offers Belial to use him. She unleashes some restraining attack on her. Lucifer tries to escape but the other Mortal Sins attack and ground her. Belial torments her by cutting one of her wings. However this severs her restraints to God. She declares as the one who goes against God and the demon burdened with the sin of pride. She and Leviathan escape back to Earth. Right back at the same spot where Maria found Lucifer. First thing Lucifer does is to stab Maria’s heart! And she corrects her that she isn’t an angel, but a demon lord.

Episode 2
Maria isn’t dead. Lucifer has stolen her heart. How can a person live without a heart? Well, as long as Lucifer has it, she is immortal. Unless she crushes it. Since Maria continues to whine in disbelief, Leviathan wants to get rid of her. However Lucifer wants Maria as her servant. Because normal humans can’t see angels and demons, I guess they need Maria to do human business. Like booking a presidential suite of a hotel for an indefinite stay. Maria continues to resist her so Lucifer with a snap of her fingers is able to make her do things against her own will. Like stripping and taking a bath with her. Maria wants to be normal again but Lucifer doesn’t care. All she needs to do is obey her. Despite the abuse, Leviathan is envious that Maria gets all her attention. Leviathan thought she could try cooking for her but Lucifer still has her attention on Maria. So when Lucifer has gone out, Leviathan takes out her frustrations on Maria. If only she is gone, all of Lucifer’s attention will be on her. Maria tries to run but Leviathan outrages her modesty with some water tentacles. Don’t scream too loud or others will think you’re a pervert. Maria insists she has done nothing wrong to deserve this and this makes Leviathan mad. She envies her for having what she wants. Why could it not be her? Those words remind Maria of her friend Mina who said exactly the same thing. It’s like Maria has found enlightenment as she comforts Leviathan it isn’t a bad thing. She is able to break free from her shackles. The show ends with Lucifer putting a stop to it. She had been watching them. She chastises Leviathan for giving in to her own envy sin and losing to a human. She warns her not to lay her hands on Maria again. Now Lucifer molests Maria’s boobs and wants her to focus. Not on the groping, I suppose. Maria then screams out Miami. This is where they will be heading next.

Episode 3
Because Maria took Lucifer’s blood before she went to hell, the reason why she can sense the location of other Mortal Sins. So they’re taking a plane there instead of teleporting? Oh well, got to enjoy your time on Earth. Asmodeus is trying to gather followers (and by that means making a contract that sends you to hell!) by having everyone lust and gaze at her sexy body. It’s such a depraved beach with everybody making out with everybody. Lucifer steps in to announce she will take down the Mortal Sins one by one. Leviathan tries to fight Asmodeus but Lucifer realizes the people lusting at her will only make her stronger. What now? Retreat! That night, they visit the nightclub where Asmodeus gathers her followers. Asmodeus is such a hot pole dancer. Leviathan thought she could challenge her but her pole dancing sucks. Asmodeus is interested in Maria but Lucifer warns nothing will happen to her no matter how much she tries. That night, Lucifer sends Maria out to buy food but Asmodeus captures her back to her place to begin caressing and making her feel good. What is this?! 50 Shades of Grey, lesbian version?! It took Lucifer a while to drop in. Asmodeus fights Lucifer using her sex appeal. This means Lucifer gets captured by her plant tentacle trap. Her entire body is now one big sexual pleasure. Lucifer is ‘disappointed’ in her since desire is all she has. Love is all dressed up in the base desire of lust. However she doesn’t see a sin in sex and should go preach about its benefits instead. Ironically this turns on Asmodeus and loses to her own power. Lucifer is freed as she comments about pride being pride because it doesn’t yield to others. Asmodeus admits her defeat to Lucifer and promises not to get in her way. With Asmodeus’ magic dispelled, Miami beach is back to normal. Maria apologizes for getting into trouble but it was all part of Lucifer’s plan in the first place to make her as the bait. You sly devil… It makes Maria wonder if it is okay to believe in a demon lord. Somebody’s faith in God is wavering…

Episode 4
We’re in London now. At the library, they see an article of a potion that can grant anything. Definitely fake. So they head down to the store where it is sold. Nobody’s in. Maria sees a coin on the floor and picks it up. Too late. A trap. Welcome to Mammon’s store. She and Lucifer go have a ‘chat’. Mammon shows off her properties but Lucifer isn’t interested and fights. Although Lucifer loses, not without property damage and this pisses Mammon off. Now Lucifer is being tortured on a triangle horse and being forced to sign a contract for property damage. Leviathan summons her bat familiar, Behemoth to cut them out of the cage. Looking for clues, they see real estate papers. Leviathan believes Lucifer is being held in one of Mammon’s many properties and leaves Maria behind to go find her onee-sama. Maria looks around and seeks soul contracts but is caught red-handed by Mammon. Maria witness Mammon having a woman sign a contract and letting her drink some potion before she enters a secret room. Mammon is interested to know why she is with Lucifer. Is there some sort of secret between them? Mammon lets Maria suck on her breast milk. Oh, so calm… Leviathan has found Lucifer. She wants to help but is told not to because there won’t be any meaning if she doesn’t overcome this herself. It is painful to watch so Leviathan joins her. Damn she can’t last 10 seconds and faints on Lucifer! It’s heavier! Maria sees many people inside a room taking care of demon dolls in which they see as their own child. Of course in exchange for this, Mammon has them transfer their assets to her. It seems Mammon’s husband left her with debts and she has to raise 500,000 kids! Maria lectures her what the kids need are not babysitters but their mom. Lucifer breaks free and at the same time Maria is freed from Mammon’s cursed breast milk. Maria believes everyone is just lost and running away from their painful memories. Mammon thinks it is that pity that made them lose their place. That is pride. Speaking of which, here comes Lucifer to come kick her ass. This time more property damage and the entire place is razed down! My investments! With Mammon’s defeat, I guess everyone is freed from their debts. However thanks to the endless human greed, Mammon is soon back in operation via crypto currency. More money for her children, suckers!

Episode 4.5
WTF?! Why do we need a recap episode summary after 4 episodes?! Did production fail to keep up with the schedule?! No new scenes. Recycled scenes of what we have seen so far and the only difference is that some parts are narrated. The only thing brand new is the ending theme with this demon lord, Astaroth rocking away.

Episode 5
Back in Japan, Lucifer and co notice Astaroth as an online idol raking up the views. By the way, Astaroth is the demon of melancholy and hence her songs have depressing lyrics. So when Lucifer confronts her back at her home, Astaroth freaks out. Every answer she gives is in rap mode? So Lucifer records and uploads her own video and it is gaining more views. Belial then visits Astaroth. She wants her to accept Lucifer’s challenge and will help to beat her. So Astaroth records a new video. It isn’t anything special and looks so freaking boring but it garners more views than Lucifer. At this rate she is going to lose. What’s this? Lucifer sinking into depression thinking about it? Of course she busts those blues in the nick of time before Belial pays her a visit. Belial wants to know her goal when she fell from heaven. Since she isn’t telling, Belial will defeat her and make her reveal all on her knees. Lucifer gives Maria another chance to make another hit piece. With this computer synthesizer heavy denpa song, I’m sure it did. Of course Astaroth comes up with another to counter that. It’s that rocker video we see in the recap episode. Sex. Blood. Gore. Weirdness. Makes no sense. I guess all that sells. Could you believe the video is made by Belphegor who is Astaroth’s closest friend? Thanks to that hit, Astaroth now have sell-out concerts and TV interviews lining up. As the fans wait for her to go on stage, Lucifer is confident Astaroth will not appear. She knows she is afraid of people and the more people in the audience, the more she will retreat to her shell. Speaking of which, it is true as she is cowering inside the toilet cubicle. With the crowd growing restless and losing faith, demanding their money back, Lucifer takes this chance to take centre stage and steal the crowd’s heart. Belial is trying to get Astaroth to come out. Belphegor tells her the audience is on her side and to tell them her feelings with her songs. Astaroth gets the courage needed to go on stage. The duo sing a duet which is a mix of both their styles. Weird but fun. In the end, Astaroth admits she lost. Though, she loves singing and will continue. She wants to perform again with Lucifer but too bad she calls it quits. It’s too much trouble dealing with fans. Astaroth says she is on Belial’s side so the next time they meet, they’ll be enemies. Assuming if she isn’t this timid, that is.

Episode 6
Lucifer asks Leviathan about Belphegor. Just a shut-in. When Lucifer picks up a ringing call, she is sucked inside the mobile. Belphegor wants to play a game with her. Since Lucifer chooses to be the demon lord, Belphegor will organise an event where everyone can defeat her. As expected, Lucifer easily steamrolls the heroes. So Belphegor promises the heroes someone to come help defeat the demon lord. And so she drags Maria into the game as well. After making her test a heavy armour, she puts her in a lingerie armour that has her move faster. And with her magic sword, she is now known as the hero Maririn! As she faces Lucifer, of course Lucifer isn’t going to take her seriously about saving the world. Heck, even Lucifer defeats Maria. Maybe it’s the hotspring power of disintegrating lingerie and enhancing boob size. Belphegor can’t have her lose now so she takes her away for more training. Why do they look like torture or hentai potential? Once her training is done, she is tasked to get a legendary equipment from an angel. Isn’t that Leviathan?! And the legendary equipment is just a lingerie in different colour? Cheaper to re-skin, I suppose… As Maria is ready to face Lucifer again, the other players feel it is time to logout since they have to work, sleep, etc. Belphegor has them stay by offering them special weapons (because you can’t defeat the demon lord with free weapons). Maria faces off with Lucifer again. It might look like history repeating itself but her legendary armour requips itself to become something better to defeat Lucifer. With that, everyone is satisfied and logs off. Belphegor panics as this isn’t in her scenario. She tries to defeat Lucifer herself but Lucifer fights back to the point where it could destroy her game world. Belphegor has had it. She admits defeat and doesn’t want to play games with her anymore. Back in reality, Lucifer is impressed Maria could tell she was in a game world where Belphegor collects her followers. Had Maria defeated her, the game would have been restarted and everything will go back to square one to defeat the demon lord again. After Lucifer teases Maria as the lingerie hero, now she is going to punish Leviathan for being an angel…

Episode 7
Lucifer and co crash in on Beelzebub’s gourmet party to challenge her to an eating contest. Both looks like they’re going strong till Lucifer suddenly has pain in her stomach. Is this it? Although the contest ends in a draw, Lucifer immediately rushes to the toilet to vomit till she passes out. The next thing she knows, she is in hospital. Maria is forced to play her relative to fill the paperwork. It is pathetic to see the strong Lucifer in this weak state. It’s like she lost to some stomach flu virus. She continues to recuperate in hospital but her living conditions aren’t ‘ideal’. The neighbour is snoring loudly or vomiting and the bed is too cram. Complaining it to your subordinates won’t change a thing. When her illness remains the same, the doctor gives her suppository. OMG! It looks like Lucifer getting raped from the back???!!! Oh dear. Really pitiful to see her in this state. Of course the doctor turns out to be Belial as she tries to unlock Lucifer’s secret. She sees Maria’s heart and takes it. When Lucifer wakes up, she knows she has been had. Though she is confident Belial won’t realize its secret but the problem is how to get it back. She can’t tell Maria about it. So when Lucifer acts all nice to her, Maria thinks she is still sick. Get well and go back to your prideful self! Lucifer is surprised that Beelzebub is also hospitalized next door for gastric dilation. She teases her about not being able to eat but Beelzebub views food isn’t evil and the best medicine to put a smile on your face. Before you know it, they both become friends! WTF?! Cue for Leviathan to throw her usual tantrum while she is bathing Lucifer. So she gives her a chance to let her sleep with her. Too bad she wet the bed and escaped, making it look like Lucifer was the wetter. As Lucifer and Beelzebub begin to heal, they eat and appreciate better food. They get discharged on the same day as Lucifer treats her to some tasty treat. Beelzebub is willing to give Lucifer her throne. She doesn’t need it. When the time comes, all will change. After everyone leaves, Maria is kidnapped by Belial.

Episode 8
When Belial tells Satan how meekly Beelzebub turn over to Lucifer’s side, she is engulfed in rage. Of course she goes to fight Lucifer but Leviathan takes on her first. Satan is puzzled that she herself is feeling envious since Beelzebub is on Lucifer’s side. Leviathan ‘understands’ and that is how she is feeling. Leviathan’s water power causes damage everywhere but the chaos only further to strengthen Satan’s power. So she thought if fighting over the ocean would increase her power but she got defeated for real this time. Time for Lucifer to step in. Beelzebub wants to help her but Lucifer notes herself as currently weak to save Maria and will lose at this rate. She has Beelzebub return to hell for now. In some Pacific island, scores of military jets and ships attack Lucifer. Of course they are no match for her as she cuts them all into half. Military budget this year is going to skyrocket. Beelzebub awakens slumbering Leviathan at the bottom of the ocean (what the heck is that open sesame-like recitation?). She revives with a new set of sexy bikini armour? With the soldiers supporting Satan, she still is most powerful. So powerful that her blasts could cut the world into pieces!!! OMG! Haven’t seen anybody cutting water like that. Not even Moses. As Lucifer finally fights her head on, Belial and Maria are watching this from her castle. Maria continues to root for Lucifer so Belial shows her heart. Is this why she is rooting for her? Maria looks interested when Belial suggests she can have her heart back and even freed from Lucifer if she helps them defeat her. Now the epic battle takes place on the moon. Earth too puny for them? Satan did the most unlikely thing by releasing her curse on Lucifer so she could fight with all she’s got. In the end, the space battle ends with Lucifer stabbing into Satan. As agreed, Satan will follow her orders by opening the gates to hell. She’s coming for your ass, Belial. Belial maintains her confidence she still has Maria as her trump card.

Episode 9
Belial is seen making a deal with Michael. Belial tortures Satan for losing when she had the overwhelming advantage and Lucifer lost almost all her power. She gives her one last chance to protect the gates of hell and prevent Lucifer from coming through. But when Lucifer and Leviathan come waltzing in, they are easily able to walk through. This is because in that short span of time, Lucifer was able to gather followers from all over the world. Looks like every human is guilty of some sort of pride from judges to idol fans! As humans care themselves more than others, pride is the ultimate sin they are born with. Lucifer could send all humans to hell if she wanted to and knows this is what God is afraid of. So with 100 million followers, Lucifer makes her triumphant return to hell as the demon lord. Belial summons the Mortal Sins to go stop Lucifer. However they claim they have no more reason to obey her since they have been defeated by Lucifer. Only Astaroth remains by Belial’s side. Lucifer and Leviathan ride the ferryman, Charon. However he wants his payment. Care to share some of the souls of the living? No way. Then show me your pantsu! So we have this strange scene of Lucifer trying to fight off this dirty old man and getting tentacle raped by his tongue. It ends when Leviathan manages to overturn the boat and shows her pantsu to satisfy that lecherous pervert. They meet up with the other Mortal Sins as Lucifer reveals God’s plan to purge hell and Earth. Hence it isn’t Lucifer’s plan to destroy hell but God. Lucifer’s plan is to turn the tables by bringing God down and make a new world order. Hell always flourishes when humanity matures. But it happens over and over again so Lucifer got tired of this and brought this up. Look what happened to her by just commenting on it. And yes, Belial knows about this. Don’t believe? Ask her yourself. Astaroth is the only one who can’t believe it. Leviathan stays back to fight her while Lucifer moves forward.

Episode 10
Asmodeus confronts Belial about her betrayal. Come to think of it, she believes she has been lying to them ever since she became their leader. Flashback shows Belial requesting Asmodeus to be the leader of the Mortal Sins. She has sought everyone’s permission since she wants to defeat heaven. For Asmodeus’ punishment to defy her, she is being cut by razor sharp winds. Because she can heal, the process repeats. Is this ultimate paradise for a masochist? I wonder how many times she has climaxed. When Lucifer arrives and wants to rescue her, Asmodeus tells her to go forward. The other Mortal Sins are in danger and she has chosen Lucifer to be the one. Down the next level, Lucifer sees Beelzebub being force fed. Why does this look like a porn scene? Belial thought she could buy her loyalty by giving her more meat but since she refused, this is what she got as punishment for defying. Beelzebub won’t accept meat from anybody but Lucifer. Is there a sexual connotation there? Mammon tells Belial that she is betting all her next penny on Lucifer who is a better investment. Belial then turns her fortune into a golden triangle horse and torture her. She wonders why she is doing this seeing she comes from the famous Byrnedale family. Flashback shows she inherited it. Speaking to Gnosis, she was told the family was famous but now in ruins. Gnosis sensed she isn’t from hell as she explains why she wants to inherit it to preserve its vanity. She will make the Byrnedale name known throughout heaven. Her real reason to inherit is to use its name so the Mortal Sins would trust her. Would they believe her if she was an unknown demon lord? What is the best way to torture a lazy person? Exercise! So poor Belphegor running on a burning treadmill forever. Not even Lucifer wants to bat an eyelid.

Satan fights Belial and accuses her of betraying them since she won’t tell whether she has connections with heaven or not. Belial says that it wasn’t a lie when she told them she wanted to bring heaven down. However the circumstances have changed and there is no choice but to wait for it to come. Satan is punished by being covered by goo of the dead. Meanwhile Leviathan and Astaroth’s fight has turn into some naked slippery pathetic battle that has them falling down a long waterfall. When Belial cuts Maria, she realizes there is angel blood in her. She realizes Lucifer’s plan to hide it inside Maria so she could return to heaven again. See girl, she’s just using you. Lucifer has reached the final depths of hell. I don’t know how Leviathan and Astaroth got stuck in those icy pillars but since they got here so fast, shouldn’t have Lucifer taken a similar path? Unless she doesn’t know about it. Too bad Lucifer has no time to save them. In this area, there are dormant giants who once fought God and lost. Their punishment to be imprisoned here forever. Now under Belial’s command they are attacking Lucifer. She knows this is Belial’s plan to wear her magic out. And now she has already used them all up.

Episode 11
Belial tortures Lucifer as she reveals her plan to use her angel blood to return to heaven. It seems Lucifer doesn’t remember who Belial is. She was once the angel Satanael but was sent to hell for being accused of spreading non-existent miracles to humans. She believed she was doing the right thing as more humans prayed to God. However Lucifer told her she was wrong and Michael kept her silence. Satanael is crucified and sent down as she vowed revenge on Lucifer. Now that Lucifer remembers who she is, she adds that after what Satanael did, humans began to rely on miracles and fall into depravity. When they realized their hopes were unfounded, they abandoned God. So she played the demon lord than an angel. Belial doesn’t care for all that now as a new miracle will happen. She will be reborn as the new Satanael and discard her wretched and humiliating life as the leader of the Mortal Sins. However by saying that, Lucifer knows she has lost. Because by abandoning that title, she is no longer their leader and thus no more authority over their penance. The Mortal Sins are freed as they rush to Lucifer’s side. But Belial believes all of them won’t defeat her since she has absorbed Lucifer’s power. True, even if they all attack at once, she crucifies them all. She is going to kill Lucifer in the cruellest fashion. She wants Maria to stab her with the silver stake. Maria won’t do this but Belial threatens to crush her heart. Even in pain she won’t do it so Lucifer orders her. Still can’t? Lucifer runs towards her to get stabbed. While it might look like Belial’s victory, that is just short-lived. Maria’s heart enters Lucifer and Lucifer’s heart enters Maria. This was just an elaborate plan to switch hearts. Now the final epic battle. Lucifer chides Belial for being petty, having a grudge over something that has happened so long ago. Has she no pride? Besides, it is God who sent her to hell as He is the only one with powers to do so. Belial is in disbelief as Lucifer kicks her ass to defeat her again. Belial might have admitted her defeat but the battle is not over yet since Michael has crashed into the place.

Episode 12
Belial wants Michael to take her back to heaven in exchange for destroying hell. However Michael tells her God doesn’t negotiate with demon lords. Betrayed. More salt on her wounds as Lucifer chides her that God never planned on pardoning her. Or maybe someone never let God know of this plan in the first place. Michael claims she wanted to help Lucifer before she was sent to hell but Lucifer never recalled such. It’s like she knew of God’s mistake and accepting it is like accepting His error. So Michael’s attack form is a military cosplay? Well, her holy light wings are devastating. Belial attacks Michael out of rage. She manages to destroy a wing before being thrown out of this world. Astaroth follows her. Because of that, it seems Leviathan is promoted to one of the Mortal Sins and Lucifer takes Belial’s place as the leader, the demon lord of pride. The other Mortal Sins are motivated to take down Michael. Although each manage to break a wing, it is at the cost of their life. Not that they regret it. It’s finally time for Lucifer and Michael to clash. Since hell is done for, I guess they’re going to fight on Earth. It sounds like Michael has always liked Lucifer. But the need to be God’s absolute angel means she has to put on a façade like any other angels to suck up to Him. That’s why Lucifer cannot stand God’s tyranny. She could not accept God’s plan of destroying everything and then recreate it again. It’s like destroying something you create partway and then destroying it because it didn’t turn out to way you wanted. If that’s the case, stop being God! Maria realizes Lucifer has always been the only one trying to protect humans. When she was young, mother always told her this angel named Lucifer was always watching over them.

However Lucifer is defeated when Michael stabs her with her holy lance. Maria and Leviathan are crying over her dead body. If prayers are for God, how to reach a demon lord then? You offer a sacrifice. Yes, Maria sacrifices herself and uses her blood to revive Lucifer. Lucifer is sad she lost Maria. She notes she has always been enchanted by her and watching her in heaven. She always prayed to her and didn’t want to destroy the world she lives in. Now she swears to bring down heaven with all she’s got. Confronting Michael again, Lucifer’s revival means she also revives the other Mortal Sins. Maria has given her life to her so the lance doesn’t work now. As a fallen angel who is the leader of the Mortal Sins and having a human giving her life, she possess the holy trinity of all the worlds. Call it a miracle but God isn’t the only one who has a monopoly over it. She is able to defeat Michael who wants to be killed by her. However just this once Lucifer forgives her as she is being called back by heaven. With the Seven Virtues before her, looks like they are Lucifer’s next target to bring heaven down. In the aftermath, Leviathan isn’t sure to be sad or happy over Maria’s death. Lucifer sheds a blood tear and this revives Maria! Holy cow! Another miracle?! Something about the little angel blood left in Lucifer that allowed this to happen. As of now, Lucifer doesn’t have any more angel blood nor does she want any speck of it. Because she is the demon lord now. Lastly, Belial is seen living a normal human life with Astaroth on Earth.

Better To Know The Devil Than The Angel
Well… This is… Sinfully good! I know, despite the sleazy fanservice shots, this series actually has a pretty decent (oh, the irony) plot and pacing despite being cliché in the sense that a betrayed anti-hero goes around to defeat mini bosses or make them submit before having finally facing off with the big one but then plot twist! The real big bad guy is the one who is from your own former side! So yeah, I did enjoy watching this series not because I am a perverted otaku (that is partially a reason why one would watch this series but that isn’t the point) but perhaps I set my expectations low enough, anticipating it would be nothing but a slew of fanservice. And surprise! It is indeed pretty enjoyable. Wow. A miracle for what low expectations can really do :-).

I’m going to get the fanservice out of the way here because this is the most obvious element ever in the series and motivation why one would even pick to watch this anime. Since you’re dealing with demons and angels who are mainly busty chicks (why are there no men versions of devil and angels?), in every episode it is guaranteed there will be lots of boobs shots and crotch shots. Heck, there will even be parts whereby the characters will be totally naked thanks to all that ripping from the fight. Heck, why do demons and angels need to even wear clothes since they are already so skimpy and sexy. The biggest offender has got to be Belial. You think Asmodeus is sexy? You haven’t seen Belial yet. Ever since she started wearing Gnosis, she is practically walking around naked! I’m sure those freaking huge shoulder pads serve as a distraction. Not! You can’t help stare at her lower half because there’s just this one tiny patch covering her vagina area and the oddest part is that sometimes it looks like pubic hair if you don’t focus too much. Oh sh*t!

As the fanservice is so in-your-face because every few seconds there will usually be spamming those boob shots and crotch shots, hence there will be these annoying black insignias hovering over them. Lots of them. There are other types of censors like streaks of light and strategic coverings but the insignias are the ones forming the majority. Hence there are uncensored versions of the episodes but I didn’t see them. I use my creativity and imagination to picture them!!! After all, why should I rewatch the whole series again just to see tits? I know how (2D) real tits look like. Might as well go for real porn. Whoops! So anyway, I am fine with the annoying round things covering certain areas for most of the time. Until they start covering the entire screen, that is! Still not tempted to watch the uncensored version. Not feeling greedy, lustful, envious, gluttonous or wrathful for more boobs. Must be my pride, huh? Just kidding… Maybe I’m just slothful…

During the initial episodes of the series, I was a bit confused on the composition of the Mortal Sins. I mean, if I counted them, aren’t there 8 of them? Notwithstanding the final episode that pieces everything in order, was vanity one of the 7 deadly sins? Wasn’t it supposed to be pride? I know they reserve it for Lucifer and thought maybe both were overlapping in this area. You know, Lucifer beat the hell out of Belial and taking over her sin’s representation? Hence it was not. And since when was melancholy part of the 7 deadly sins? I was indeed confused. It is definitely 7 not 8 if you do not count envy in this anime’s context but wasn’t envy one of the deadly sins? I thought Leviathan was a Mortal Sin but as the series progresses, I realized she wasn’t part of it. So I guess they right the wrong by ‘kicking out’ vanity and melancholy in the end and replace it by pride and envy eventually. That sure cleared things up.

Also confusing me once the series ended are the ‘extra episodes’. I have not watched them but from what I read are just a couple of minute specials to go with the DVD. The confusing part was how they labelled it as unaired episodes 13 to 19. Or are they supposed to be specials 1 to 7? Since I have not seen them, I am not sure it is a continuation or at least the events these short specials are taken place after the series has ended. I believe they aren’t anything pivotal to the main storyline as I read summary about the first couple of episodes to be Lucifer fighting Belial again in a battle of strength and Leviathan going to the toilet (?!). More fanservice but of course…

On to the characters, the main character who is a force to be reckoned with is Lucifer. Watching her prideful character go all the way to exact her revenge makes it feel like you want to worship her instead of God or the big devil himself of hell. Really. I can see why she obtained so many followers so easily in a short period of time. Because I too feel that she is the best character to follow! Oh dear. Have I fallen for Lucifer’s charms? Because of her pride, she does not yield to others. At times where she looks like she ‘lost’ (like that stomach flu case), I believe she was just faking it and being a great pretender. After all, you can’t always just fight the Mortal Sins head on. Some needs subtlety. Because she bosses others around like a boss and does not compromise her ways, that is what makes her likeable and respectable in that sense. She doesn’t want to become God and has reminded us many times that she is the demon lord. Because with this title it allows her to do as she wishes instead of being a hypocrite virtue signalling. That’s acceptable, right?

I don’t want to say that Maria is a useless character and just a character who is there as a plot device. Because remember, what is the name of this anime again? That’s where the main focus is. But sometimes I can’t help think that she is just a side character who got mixed up in everything for plot convenience since we mostly see Lucifer as the one who mainly deals with the Mortal Sins (Maria was just as bait or something like that) and in the second half, Maria’s screen time is further reduced thanks to her being kidnapped. As for Leviathan, she is made to look like an annoying idiot who sucks up to her onee-sama. I suppose every great leader has a loyal underling who is an idiot. I won’t go so far as to say she is a comic relief character but sometimes it feels like she is going to cross that line. And her pet Behemoth is supposed to be the cute mascot but with so little appearances, he is hardly memorable.

As for the other Mortal Sins, they do represent their deadly sins well at least to current modern times. Like Mammon’s greed and fortune coming from real estate investments and Belphegor who just loves to play online games. Eventually the thought provoking thing about them is that these Mortal Sins seem to be better people than their angelic counterparts. They might prey on the immoral desires of human but that is only because that is what they are supposed to do. On the other hand if you compare them to the angels and heaven, these goody-goody beings are the worst. Could you not see how scheming and vengeful Belial was when she fell from heaven? Heck, the same can be said about Lucifer. What is it that makes fallen angels so vengeful towards God once they have been kicked out from heaven? Even angels like Michael from this perspective looks like a sneaky b*tch and a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A two-faced double agent.

This brings me to my next point about God. As I have said, with Lucifer being shown and painted as some great anti-hero, it makes God at least in this anime’s context to be the primary villain. If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why and how the heck does He let all this happen? And should not He know what everything is going on even if you don’t tell Him? That is why when this series ends, it feels like God is the main antagonist and it makes us more inclined to support Lucifer. For obvious reasons, Lucifer is there in the flesh. God? You don’t see Him. You don’t know He exists. Lucifer’s actions can be seen whereas God you can’t. Because he works in mysterious ways, right?

That is why Maria who has always been a hard faithful prayer ‘defects’ to Lucifer. She might be a fallen angel but she has done more good than God. At least from what she can see. Lucifer might have dragged her into this mess but she is also the one who saved her life. Where was God in time of Maria’s need? Was He there to free Maria when she was Lucifer’s lackey? I rest my case. Like Lucifer said, God doesn’t have a monopoly over miracles. This could also mean that God isn’t necessarily the only being who can resurrect, destroy, etc. Besides, if God really wants to destroy and recreate everything, He could have easily done so (assuming the almighty is powerful) but choosing this method, it makes you ponder if God really exists in the first place or not. I can see purists fuming in the mouth over this but that’s blind faith for you. Or maybe everything is a part of God’s huge plan because He allows Lucifer to go on a beat ‘em up spree and then purposely lose to her because He might have been bored of destroying and recreating from scratch the same way. Hah! God thinks like a Japanese anime and manga character!

Art and animation feels okay. Busty and scantily clad babes as all part of the fanservice as mentioned earlier. They look more like beautiful porn stars than anything scary, even Satan herself. She might look the meanest but even in the context of anime, she is still hot looking. No wonder people choose to go with the Mortal Sins because when you have angels covering up themselves like suspicious hooded people who look like they want to mug you, might as well go with your desires and then go to hell because it is all going to be worth it. Really. At the end of each episode is an illustration by others. Now you know where to get more sexy fanservice… This anime is jointly produced by Artland (Tantei Opera Milky Holmes series, Ichiban Ushiro No Daimaou, Senran Kagura, Umisho) and TNK (High School DxD series, Kenzen Robo Daimidaler, Ikkitousen: Xtreme Xecutor, School Days), both of which have produced popular ecchi series before.

For the voice acting, kudos to Eri Kitamura and Shizuka Itou as Lucifer and Belial respectively. They do bring life into their character since they naturally have this prideful feel in their voices. It is no surprise since Eri Kitamura has voiced a handful of similar prideful characters like Ami in Toradora, Odagiri in Yamada-kun And The Seven Witches and Akane in Rewrite. Same for Shizuka Itou who did Bitch-sensei in Ansatsu Kyoushitsu, Meiko in Prison School and Luvia from the Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Ilya series. Other recognizable casts are Youko Hikasa as Mammon and Yui Ogura as Beelzebub. The rest are Megumi Toda as Maria (Hajime in New Game), Akane Fujita as Leviathan (Sagiri in Eromanga-sensei), Arisa Sakuraba as Satan, Chiaki Takahashi as Asmodeus (Nanami in School Days), Ai Kakuma as Belphegor (Julis in Gakusen Toshi Asterisk) and Azusa Tadokoro as Astaroth (Fino in Yuushibu).

Both the opening and ending themes are sung by Mia Regina. If there is a church choir singing its worship to the devil mixed with devilish rock music, you get My Sweet Maiden as the opener. Devilishly revering… If feels the same for the rock ending theme, Welcome To Our Diabolic Paradise. Only the male voice sounds like he is doing a take from Michael Jackson’s Thriller’s spoken verse. For an anime laden with fanservice, surprisingly there are a few good insert songs and BGMs. Really. Like Astaroth’s hard rock piece infused with rapping is surprisingly catchy. Not to mention that hip hop Goddamn Critical that is both cute and catchy. For the background music, I notice there is one that sounds very closely to the main theme of Beverly Hills Cop. It feels odd when that is played. Then there is that military-like marching BGM during that military battle over the sea which feels like a tribute to the Third Reich or something. Yikes. Weird.

Overall, if you can put aside and don’t get riled up by the fanservice of tits and crotch flashing every few seconds or minutes, this is quite the entertaining series. Of course, please turn off your brain and heart as well. We don’t want people to start blaming this series for making them lose faith in God and become infidels now, do we? After all, this isn’t the first series that is non-hentai and filled with fanservice (Valkyrie Drive ~Mermaid~, anyone?) nor is it one that questions the faith of the heavens (think Junketsu No Maria and even Shingeki No Bahamut series). A little guilty pleasure is acceptable. That is what makes us human. Not angels, not demons. A moment of desire on Earth in exchange for an eternity of suffering and regret in the deepest circles of hell. Was it worth it? Goddamn, better start praying to Lucifer from now on.

It’s time to remind us to be grateful of the existence of Akihabara or Akiba as it is known for short. Because without this otaku town that started out as an electronics paradise, we especially weeabos and foreigners would never have got to enjoy the endless entertainment of anime, manga and gaming culture of our beloved Japan. What would Japan be without the otaku culture?! Yeah, I know Japan is more than that but we otakus only care about this, right? And so what a way to pay tribute with a series called Akiba’s Trip The Animation. Actually, this anime is adapted from a game and this anime was to celebrate Gonzo’s 25th anniversary. But nevertheless it is still fun to see all the otaku culture in a series although this isn’t the first series about it (refer to Genshiken, Lucky Star, Comic Party and even Denpa Kyoushi if you want to know what I mean). As for the plot of this series, it is about a small group of vigilante protecting the holy sacredness of Akiba from invaders by, wait for it, stripping their clothes! Oh my! Only in anime you can come up with this crap! This I got to see!

Episode 1
Tamotsu Denkigai makes his way to Akiba as he staves off an annoying sales solicitor by acting like a chuunibyou. He meets up with his sister, Niwaka and despite his promise to hang out with her, he doesn’t want to go to places she wants to visit. A fight happens nearby. Matome “Mayo” Mayonaka is fighting her opponents and defeating them by… Taking off their clothes?! The crowd is dispersed by the local vigilante group once it is over. Niwaka wonders if this is related to the Bugged Ones rumours of people turning berserk with superhuman powers. Tamotsu rubbishes all that. Tamotsu then goes off himself to get some innards rangers (?!) figurines. He picks the last rare model at the same time with busty Arisa Ahokainen. Since they share the same passion, they become friends. However Arisa is forced to run when Mayo crashes in to fight her, accusing her of being a Bugged One. When Tamotsu hears of a commotion at a café, he worries about Niwaka since she is supposed to be there. He barges in only to be attacked by zombies? Luckily Mayo protects him and fights off the hordes to let Mayo rescue his unconscious sister. He leaves Niwaka in Arisa’s hands to go back and help struggling Mayo. Speaking of which, she is captured by the Bugged Ones who proclaim her as a traitor. Death to traitors! How? By stripping her?! Tamotsu intervenes but in a bad timing. Before the leader stabs Mayo, Tamotsu uses his body to protect her. In order to save him, Mayo kisses him to transfer her powers. Now he is able to fight like her and has an uncanny skill of… Undressing people?! Seems this is the only way to defeat Bugged Ones. What the hell is this crap that their skin is sensitive to air? Shouldn’t they be wearing a hazmat suit then? Do you know how exposed that sexy maid outfit is?! Oh screw it. I just want to see maids getting strip! Oh yeah, strip them, Tamotsu! Once the menace are all gone, Mayo is impressed with his skills but warns him that with such powers, he can no longer return to his normal life.

Episode 2
Mayo explains about the Bugged Ones. The ones he fought are mainly low class types called Kurobugs. They just possess humans. The more powerful ones are called Hazoku and they can created Bugged Ones. Some Hazoku like herself is seeking to coexist with humans. That’s why she is trying to fight and protect this land. And she has been defending Akiba for 300 years! Tamotsu might not believe all that crap but it is real when he cannot leave Akiba for real! Now that he has inherited her powers, there is some sort of invisible barrier that prevents him to leave the area. Yes, he is a Bugged One like her now. So she takes him to her place where he could live temporarily. They meet Professor Tejasvi Latu (real name is freaking long so don’t bother) who explains more. Niwaka might not understand it all but she understands about Tamotsu being a Bugged One. Because dad always used to say he was a failure as a human! Tamotsu wants to bath but Mayo won’t let him. Not even take off his clothes? There’s a special shower that enables him to bath without getting wet or taking his clothes off. Mayo considers him her underling and must obey her to do patrols. Tamotsu takes the liberty to name the team Electric Mayonnaise. It’s a pun between their names. Although paid some allowance, Tamotsu doesn’t feel it is enough and needs to take up some part time jobs. Mayo introduces him to Mashiro Kuga’s agency. Any job you need in Akiba is here. Just that they don’t take responsibility for any information on it. Tamotsu is about to apply for a job at a military otaku store but the place is taken over by Bugged Ones. As the military guys start firing, Mayo calls for retreat as they can’t lose any more of their clothes. They stumble into the vigilante group and convince them (Arisa’s boobs smothering did the trick) to help them out to keep the peace. Their charge into the store work and Tamotsu is able to strip the big boss. However he is shocked to see him disappear into smoke. Mayo explains the sad truth. Those possessed by Kurobugs are able to return to humans when stripped. But for the Hazoku types, they will evaporate. That is why they cannot have their clothes taken off. You thought Tamotsu might be saddened by this but he decides life is short and he needs to buy all the things he need and make tons of cash. Well, at least he is positive.

Episode 3
Tamotsu notices Io Shiota’s concert on TV. She sounds so dead… So instead of going on a patrol with Mayo, he goes to her concert. Then he comes home to review her broadcast but finds something missing. Thus a guy introduces him to earphones. This leads him to a store where he buys those recommended accessories. To further improve his hobby as an audio enthusiasts, he buys more audio crap (including some non-scientific mysterious stone. Scammed!) till he realizes the best idol songs are heard live! WTF???!!! Then the bill comes. Oh no. Need a high paying easy job to pay up. So while Tamotsu takes up various odd jobs around Akiba, Mayo, Arisa and Niwaka are being scouted by a famous producer Chibusa Benikage to become models. They are named Mania (abbreviation from their names) and undergo training. You wonder if it is idol related since it has indoor mountain climbing. Build stamina… But you can figure something shady is going on as the photographer, Naisu Muramura is taking compromising pictures of them. Then there is this swimsuit shoot in which Arisa gladly flaunts her assets. Niwaka is too innocent to understand those group of old guys in their underwear known as the ‘shower squad’ is… Anyway, Arisa poses and has no qualms about it till Naisu tells her to strip naked. She would have obligingly done so had not the rest stopped her. Mayo realizes this is a scam and were baited to do porn. As you would have guessed It, Chibusa and Naisu are Bugged Ones. Luckily Tamotsu is working here as a janitor so he goes to save the girls. He manages to strip them and Naisu who is the boss gets disintegrated. Chibusa doesn’t remember what happened. As token of apology, she would like to work for them as their producer as she does saw potential in the trio. So Mania has their first live concert albeit to a very small crowd. I have more fingers on my hands… But it’s a good start since they didn’t have time for publicity and Tamotsu is supporting them like a fanatic idol fan.

Episode 4
Tamotsu is fixing his own amateur radio antenna. With Arisa and Niwaka, they use walkie-talkie to try to get the best deals. Since it worked out poorly, he decides to take the girls to go shopping for better communication equipment. Mayo wonders why don’t they just use their Smartphones. Apparently there is some difference using radio waves, corporate greed and communicating as humans. Whatever. Suddenly electrical devices around start to explode. Turns out there is a tower in Akiba manned by a Bugged One. They can’t get close to the tower since the microwaves will burn them! When they tell Professor about this, she might know who is behind this. While she was doing her research, her teacher Professor Yagyuda who specializes in the paranormal told her to head to Akiba to study the Bugged Ones in their natural habitat. Thus they decided to build a big tower. No matter how much they tired, they failed. She would love to contact Yagyuda for help but he is now in Brazil doing some job to cover his losses. All forms of communication are out. Except the radio. You can’t hack radio waves, can you? So we’ve got some technical explanation how the radio wave bounces using the atmosphere, blah, blah, blah. They hope to reach Yagyuda by Morse code but after many days, nothing. They order some pizza and chicken wings to stay awake. Till the delivery girl messes with the Morse code till they get a response. So Yagyuda’s message reads: ALMHK. They try to decipher what it means but it soon hit Professor. Order more chicken wings! So when the gang return to the tower, they are dressed in thick aluminium foil that blocks out the waves. ALMHK = aluminium haku. Invincible, they barge up the tower in no time to strip the Bugged One. Professor talks to her as she explains it was 3 days ago that she came here. She wanted to kill herself after failing to create the tower. A mysterious hat lady stopped her and vowed to make her dreams come true. When she reached out her hand to her, that is when she got possessed. She regrets what she has done but Professor assures to clear her name. She is now happily working with Yagyuda in Brazil while Tamotsu hosts his own FM radio.

Episode 5
Nostalgia time! Tamotsu plays Street Fighter II at the arcade. He receives a new challenger from a kid named Matsuko. Too bad he got his ass handed to him. He then joins Niwaka at the crane game. However she gets kidnapped right before his eyes. Because of a glass blocking him, he is afraid to break it in fear of being banned from this joint. Because Matsuko remarks about his improved gaming, he believes she is behind Niwaka’s kidnapping and a Bugged One. Soon a ransom note is delivered. Tamotsu must play a Street Fighter V tournament if she wants to save his sister. They realize Matsuko is currently the best fighting gamer this generation. And so Professor comes up with Tamotsu’s training that resembles more like torture that would have killed any ordinary person. Being burnt at the stake? You wonder how it contributes to his training. I don’t know but now he can press a button 16 consecutive times per second! So on tournament day, Tamotsu is passionate to win and begin his legend. Only the winner gets to play Matsuko. Too bad he lost in perfect straight sets on the first round! However Tamotsu manages to get to the final in a different bracket for losers. He defeats Matsuko in the first round. However this is only because she is learning her opponent’s abilities. So in the second round, a perfect victory for her. When the third round comes, Matsuko strips to improve her latent abilities. What? Tamotsu also follows even though he is on the verge of dying. I don’t think nobody wants to see his semi-naked body except gays. Tamotsu then does some Fubuki parody move to come back and defeat Matsuko. So this is what those useless trainings were for? When Tamotsu demands Niwaka back, she doesn’t know what it’s about. She becomes embarrassed when Mayo takes off her cap to reveal a funny standing hair. Definitely not a Bugged One. The real one is actually one of the commentators. As he brags, Tamotsu punches the hell out of him. Niwaka is safe in a room playing video games. Tamotsu joins her. Happy ending…

Episode 6
Every PC owner’s worst nightmare! BSOD! Well, time for Tamotsu to get a new PC. He meets Kage who suggests to build his own PC. They scour around for parts and Tamotsu is satisfied with the deals he can get. But when he assembles them, it doesn’t work because he forgot to buy an OS. So Professor helps install one that includes voice recognition. Everyone, meet Pyuko. As Tamotsu gets more attached with her, the rest tease Mayo she is jealous. So she forces Tamotsu who hates to leave Pyuko’s side for patrol. When he returns, Professor has made some modifications and now Pyuko is a bulky machine but is able to move and do things. Thus Tamotsu brings Pyuko around Akiba and they have a swell time. It might look odd to us but hey, in Akiba this is pretty normal, right? She learns a lot and even gets better at things humans do. Then on the news, PCs around start evolving into machines. Believing a certain PC brand is behind this, they head to its store but it is closed. Pyuko picks the lock and they find the owner, a Bugged One trying to control Akiba using robots disguised as cheap PCs. Although they defeat her, she leaves a ‘curse’ before dying. All the robots know converged into one machine that pounds the hell out of Mayo and Arisa. You thought the cliché trick of unplugging it to disconnect electric supply would work but it seems it enters into self-destruction mode to delete all its porn! So how? Countdown from 100. Full charged Pyuko lifts it up to space where she explodes with it. Pyuko! No!!! Tamotsu is sad as Professor speaks to him. She believes Pyuko did that to protect the various history of Akiba. This includes Tamotsu, a person who loves Akiba very much, a data that is most important. So long you remember her, Pyuko will live inside your memory. So take good care of that data. Sad ending…

Episode 7
Tamotsu is taking photograph of a figurine and accidentally breaks it. It belongs to Niwaka and she is not happy since it is a rare item which you can’t get anymore. She is further mad that he is paying attention to his photograph and brushes this small matter off. He thought he could get a replacement on the auction but some Arab dude outbid him. Time to search for a part time job that pays well. Mashiro recommends him to a butler and maid café. The manager accepts him and creeps him out about working that is more than just pay. At first Tamotsu is freaked out by the other weird butlers and maids like screaming out lines to say to their master. But he gets used to it and learns quickly. He impresses customers and gets promoted fast, boosting his morale. So when it is time to get his pay, it seems they are just thank you notes?! What the heck?! But then he is brainwashed that working for their master’s thanks is all they’re living for. Thus he continues to work hard and is starting to look like a zombie. He makes his first mistake and loses motivation. So the other staffs continue to brainwash him and give him a reason to continue working. He has been working so hard that he hardly comes back. For a week now and even when Niwaka visits to apologize for being too harsh, he isn’t home. Arisa shows them the bad news that Tamotsu’s face appears in a magazine’s interview. He looks like a zombie! They rush down to the café to see him now in a maid dress! They try to make him quit but he rants about his dream to work in this place. This is when Niwaka slaps him and then a baseball bat swat to open his eyes about his dream. Something about turning his novel into a flop movie and then into an anime series and live on unearned income. Huh? He returns to normal and the manager reveals his true self as a Bugged One. However the butlers and maids are just brainwashed and not real Bugged Ones so stripping them didn’t do anything. The manager takes Niwaka hostage. Tamotsu hears her plea for help. He strips both of them though he quickly clothes her. In the aftermath, Tamotsu apologizes to Niwaka and gives a replacement figurine he bought. But when she thanks him, he is now afraid of that thank you word and runs away.

Episode 8
As Tamotsu and the girls head to the store to buy rice cooker, Arisa is shocked to see her master. The rest are then shocked to learn Arisa is a university graduate who is travelling the world to learn things. That is how she met Master and learnt martial arts. She is now in Japan to learn about otaku. It seems all the rice cookers are snapped out by Master. Attempts to talk to him fail. This this sexy lady, Diva Risa McWhite pops up. She claims she is Master’s master and her aim is to conquer Akiba by buying up all rice cookers and selling them at retail price. They realize she is a Bugged One and Master is just her tool for that. They start fighting but the shop staff warns them about doing it here or else. Thus it is decided they will be squaring off at Akiba’s greatest tournament. If you’re wondering why it resembles like American wrestling, the entire thing is a parody of WWE. So we’ve got Master and Risa as typical baddies entering the ring with the typical flashy effects, music and arrogant speech. Then we’ve got the good guy Arisa (R. Mika?) whom the crowd adores. Of course the usual cliché like how the dumb referee is knocked out early so the baddies could do illegal and underhanded tactics to Arisa. Arisa realizes Master is trying to fight Risa’s control but he is forced to give in when she threatens his family. Worse, Mayo and Niwaka also become hostages. As Arisa takes a beating, Tamotsu stops being useless as he rides a buggy in to save Mayo and Niwaka. Arisa suddenly revives and turns the tables on Master by slamming him over layers of tables. Although both are down, the last straw came when Risa hands Master a sword to finish her off. This is when Master slaps Risa. His martial arts aren’t used for these deeds. He finishes her and continues his bout with Arisa. Arisa wins thanks to a low blow in the crotch. Even with Arisa’s victory, Risa continues to play dirty and beats up Arisa. Tamotsu then comes in declaring Akiba belongs to everyone and will protect it. Arisa and Tamotsu did a double combo on Risa and his stripping ended her reign. Master and Arisa reconcile and he decides to restart his training over again for being manipulated like that. Everyone cheers the winners. A good advertising opportunity for Electric Mayonnaise.

Episode 9
They’re trolling us, right? Because it is stated that everything is decided by card battle games. Including the recent US presidential elections! Everything boils down to this ultimate card game called Battle Creatures! Arisa does a live stream of unboxing card packs of Battle Creatures. Too bad all of them are pretty common and dull cards. Tamotsu returns and learns what she is doing. He notices an unopened pack and opens it. Voila! An ultra rare card! Arisa notes he has the talent to be a card player. As Tamotsu talks to Kage about this at a cafe, they notice the other tables of vigilante groups breaking up because of a cute girl being recruited into their ranks. Later it is discovered that a company called Princess Company has been sending out such girls to really break up those groups. Tamotsu and his girls go confront the CEO of the company, Iketeru Masada. Aside his weird hair, Arisa totally digs this guy because he is so rich he is bathing in money! But when he admits that plan of his, it is no surprised that he is a Bugged One. Mayo tries to defeat him but his skills are better. He could have finished her off easily but that would be no fun. He suggests a card game and this is where Tamotsu steps up to take the challenge. And so we see a dramatic spoof battle of Yugioh. Yugi vs Kaiba? So all those flashy exaggerated effects are just in your mind. Because clueless ones like Mayo are just seeing a boring lifeless game. It’s all in your mind… As cliché as it gets, Tamotsu is on the verge of losing after taking the brunt of the attacks until he pulls out that ultra rare card. Yeah, it’s like a free pass to give him all the unfair advantage to turn the tables and defeat Masada. Somehow he got stripped despite losing just his card game. Yeah, Mayo doesn’t even understand a single bit. In the aftermath, all the vigilante groups reconcile and are back as a whole again. Moral of the story: Cute girls always bring ruin to a circle of close knit friends! So true!

Episode 10
When Tamotsu met up with his friend and learns he already has a girlfriend, he lost his mind! So he’s got a problem with this ‘betrayal’?! So now he wishes a girlfriend to drop down from the sky for him. Really? Niwaka has a cheeky plan. Playing psychology with Mayo, she manages to make the tsundere go out on a practice date with Tamotsu till he gets a real girlfriend. Of course they’re not going to let them be alone on this date as they spy on them. Since both are noobs in dating, Mayo gets advice from Niwaka to do what she likes. So… Eating? Yup, they patron a lot of stores to eat! Man, she’s got a black hole stomach! Well, Tamotsu can see how happy she enjoys her food. As she can still eat, they now head to the ramen store but it is being hogged by a food warrior named Kurota. He seems to be gobbling down everything. So when Tamotsu tells him off not to monopolize food in Akiba, he challenges him to a food contest. Mayo will be his challenger. This contest blows out of proportion as it becomes publicised. In an hour, they have to eat as many ramen bowls and the loser will pay all its cost. So we see them on the same footing and see them coming up with tricks to cool and eat the ramen faster. Though, Kurota seems to be desecrating the food so he could eat faster. After all, food ends up all the same in your stomach, right? But of course it ends with Mayo winning by a bite! Mayo is kind enough not to let him pay but wants him not to eat like that and enjoy its taste. However Kurota will not accept defeat. He will conquer Akiba by eating up all its food. That’s when they realize he is a Bugged One. As he tries to suck everything (cue for panties showing fanservice), Tamotsu gets this idea to throw ice at him to freeze his sucking before Mayo strips him and turns him into a whole load of ramen. In the aftermath can you believe Mayo’s stomach still growls after that?! Must have worked up an appetite from all that eating? What did I just say???!!! So she has room for desserts, eh? Tamotsu knows the right place and takes her by the hand there. Ah, looks like he’s a natural in getting the girl.

Episode 11
Mania practises for the upcoming Akiba Festival. But during this period, somebody has been playing evil pranks on Akiba and leaving name cards in the name of Electric Mayonnaise. It is no surprise that Tamotsu, Mayo and Arisa are arrested by the vigilante group and tried in their kangaroo court. Although they show picture proof, uhm, don’t those guys look a bit fat and ugly? But they can’t tell for Mayo since her back is facing. Tamotsu vehemently stands up and vouches for Mayo’s innocence. He tells them off that everything will be alright if they find proof. Tamotsu has an idea where the imposters will strike next. They are waiting right at the Akiba Festival concert and catch them in the act. It’s going to be tough fighting those big fat ugly imposters but once they find their rhythm, those Bugged Ones are easy. Mayo is having it tough against her clone. She looks exactly the same except for that devil mask she is wearing. Luckily the rest come to help her so she flees. Lady luck shines on them since Professor has taken picture proof as evidence. So when they show it to the vigilante group, they regret and apologize for accusing them. Tamotsu forgives them. Before Mania could start singing, the electric power is cut off. Then live on TV, Minister Shigusa Kiyoi announces a total ban on Akiba Festival as it supports unhealthy activities. She believes such culture which has turned into some porn industry must be completely eradicated. There’s more. Tomorrow the Diet has pass a law that will come into effect tomorrow that bans everything in Akiba called Akiba Ban. Later Tamotsu receives a distress call from Mayo having a hard time from her imposter. As he rushes to her side, it is a trap as the imposter steals his kiss to absorb his power. The real Mayo who is also being given a wild goose hunt, sees unconscious Tamotsu being dumped into the river.

Episode 12
It seems Kiyoi is being bribed by the Hazoku organization, Metrotica to do their bidding. The old witch boss, Fukame doesn’t care about Kiyoi’s hatred for the otaku world as long as they do what they are told. The girls are glad Tamotsu is alright. Mayo is first to hug him. However they notice his strip of hair is back to normal. This means he is back to being a normal human. Tamotsu insists he still wants to help and there won’t be any problem if Mayo does the same thing to give back his powers, right? Well, I think that isn’t the problem… Suddenly agents barge in and beg for Arisa to come back to Shangrila Trophy, the largest US conglomerate. Arisa during her journey stumbled into its CEO and ended up being his son’s tutor but somehow climbed the ranks to be his executive secretary. It seems the CEO is very ill and without a replacement, the company and the world will be in danger! Please save us all! As Arisa owes him a huge debt, she has no choice but to return. Akiba is now a ghost town with the ban in effect. Because Tamotsu still wants to help and Mayo still doesn’t want him to risk his life like before, this causes tensions between them. Tamotsu is roped in by the vigilante group to form a committee in Akiba to protest against the ban. But Tamotsu is too depressed to join in and opts out.

The protest debate goes on but nothing came about. It gets worse when all merchandises in Akiba get confiscated or burnt. What’s this?! All maids are arrested???!!! WTF???!! I’M F*CKING AGAINST THIS!!! STOP!!!!! The protest committee try to think of their next move but the government men barge in to arrest them all. The committee lets Kage who is the head of the group escape. Tamotsu is depressed in his room as Niwaka threatens that she’ll go do it herself. Then he sees Mayo facing off in the TV’s background. Time to get your ass moving. It seems Mayo’s imposter is her younger sister, Urame. She is furious over her betrayal over grandma (Fukame). Some flashback showing how Metrotica is just a façade for these creatures to enslave humans and rule Akiba for centuries. Thus the ‘peace and order’. Mayo wanted Akiba to be shared by everyone but it is this concept that grandma didn’t like. Before Mayo gets owned, Tamotsu returns to save her. Because Mayo still rants about how dangerous everything is, he shuts her up by kissing her! With his powers back, Tamotsu beats up Urame and strips her. Funny, she didn’t die. She just lost her memories. Sorry to ruin Tamotsu and Mayo’s long hug but it’s double knockout for Urame when Arisa returns as she lands on her after skydiving from that height. Arisa explains it wasn’t that CEO who was sick but his giant panda. So the uproar was about who to succeed as his pet. Now that Arisa has administered a cure, both CEO and panda are happily on vacation. With her back, Electric Mayonnaise is whole once again. Fukame is displeased that Urame has fallen and blames that man as the root of the problem. She will not hand over Akiba to anybody.

Episode 13
While Arisa, Niwaka and Professor save the arrested committee, Tamotsu and Mayo beat up some cameraman who is closely associated with Metrotica to find Hazoku’s hideout. He also exposes Fukame’s plan to conquer Akiba so that they could rebel the government to establish an independent nation for Bugged Ones. Along the way, Mayo tells of her past how grandma used to tell her the corruption from humans are slowly tainting Akiba and will eventually kill them. But when Mayo surfaced 50 years ago (yes, Mayo is 78 years old!!!) she found nothing of that sort and instead people had a different kind of passion. She quickly fell in love with it but Fukame was against it. Despite her attempts to talk to her, she remained a stubborn goat till she got exiled. She then moved their hideout. Ever since, Mayo has been trying to protect Akiba from her onslaught. The duo traverse rooms filled with traps (don’t touch anything, Tamotsu!) and face off with a pair of cute sisters in flimsy outfit because they don’t think Tamotsu could strip them. Damn wrong, girls… This leads them to Fukame where grandma and granddaughter face each other for the first time in 20 years. Fukame is still bent on purifying Akiba. It was once filled with ki but the corruption, war and now strange sexual desires has turned Akiba into some filth. She considers humans to be the pests. Tamotsu punches her and chides her for judging Akiba based on her own biased judgment. She will hear no more and will start cleansing Akiba. She summons a giant pink monster (Kirby?) for destruction. Mayo is absorbed into it as Tamotsu tries to climb in to rescue her.

Meanwhile Professor seems to have found some power source but it looks like they need Mania to pull it off. They’re short of a member it seems. Professor, you’re not wanted. Oh, Urame who still has amnesia thinks she is Mayo (as seen from a replay concert on TV). Mania technically a whole again. So as they sing parodies of classical music, with the power of everyone, their support summons a giant naked Ultraman to fight the fake Kirby. It seems the power of the glow sticks is responsible for that. Never underestimate the power of glow sticks… Tamotsu saves Mayo as they both combine to pilot fake Ultraman to defeat Fukame for good. In the aftermath, Fukame repents but it is too late. She realizes the people’s love for this city is stronger and more beautiful. She wished she had only spent time with the people. She leaves it to Tamotsu and Mayo to protect Akiba. Mayo is sad grandma dies but it seems her vapour is sucked into a vacuum by Professor. She won’t let her die easily and has lots to ask. Kiyoi tries to escape with her money but is stopped by a giant maid. She is actually an undercover police and arrests her for bribery and fraudulent accounting. Not even a million dollars can bribe her way out. She is replaced by Kage who becomes the minister of Akiba. His first order is to resume Akiba Festival. Somehow Tamotsu and Mayo still can’t leave the barrier. Oh well, they can still do fun things together. Together. The moment we have all been waiting for. Their kiss is interrupted by Niwaka and Arisa. WHY?! OH WHY???!!! It seems they are from 10 years in the future. Future Akiba is in trouble and they’re blaming the duo. Don’t tell me they become the new tyrants. So back to the future to save the future?

Akiba Strip & Rip!
Oh wait! I think I have a conspiracy theory why Tamotsu and Mayo are blamed for the whatever chaos future Akiba is in now. If the present duo are gone in the future to fix it, then who the hell are left behind to protect Akiba in present time?! Sure, you might say those vigilante groups but those are small fries and nobody does them better than our dynamic duo. And because Tamotsu and Mayo are missing, thus allowing other villains to surface and possible remnants of Bugged Ones to revive! OMG! Just like when Batman is away, Gotham City became besieged with crimes and corruption. So Akiba’s future in peril is not entirely their fault! It’s your fault, Niwaka and Arisa!!! Your fault for taking them away and making them ‘missing’ in present time!

Aside that, I suppose the series is a fun ride and it is a good thing that Akiba is once again safe from the vile scums who want to see such filthy and embarrassing culture completely erased. Yes people. Let’s thank the unsung heroes of Akiba who keep the place safe and allow us to continue our passion. Viva otaku culture! Viva Akiba! Viva maids! Ahem… Even if you aren’t an otaku or a fan of anything Akiba, I’m sure the silly plot and slapstick comedy moments will still eke out a little laughter. Unless… Part of the silliness comes from the fast paced comedy which sometimes make it look like it is pretty dumb. But hey, you’re not supposed to take everything here seriously. In Akiba, anything can happen!

Fanservice isn’t the main draw of the series but it feels like it is part of the complement. Without it, the show would have been just another run of the mill. Yeah, the plot is just plain and ridiculous if you look at it. I mean, how exciting can you get if the plot is just about a group of vigilantes protecting Akiba? Boring. But what about protecting Akiba from invaders? Nothing original. But what about stripping them to save the day? Uhm, okay. Hope it attracts a certain demographic target. Nothing makes a horny otaku’s day with some little show of skin. So if you want to classify this series as an ecchi one, it is by most about 20%-30%.

I feel that Mayo is the ‘main offender’ of this fanservice hijinks and not those small fry Bugged Ones as their stripping is just only a couple of seconds. Because in every Bugged One battle that she fights in, you can guarantee to expect that her clothes will be ripped off to expose her delicious white lingerie. For some reason as long as she has a small patch of ordinary clothes left, she won’t be killed. Yeah, f*ck logic. Fanservice comes first. Then there is also Arisa whose big busts are also for fanservice points because who else but foreigners in anime world could have such naturally big boobs. Arisa sometimes also gets her clothes torn but not as much as Mayo. And yes, Arisa is also fanservice material in the sense that in some episodes she dresses up and cosplays in different outfits for no apparent reason. From policewoman to bunny girl, she’s got it all. Well, almost.

I know it sounds ridiculous that to defeat Bugged Ones that you have to strip them because of some ‘unfounded scientific theory’ about their skin being exposed to air and sunlight that makes them vulnerable. Heh. Total crap. It’s just like that Hollywood movie about an alien whose weakness is water and they had to choose a planet that is 70% filled with that weakness to conquer. Dumb, right? So it is the same thing I feel here. Akiba just like any other part of the world is almost covered with air and sunlight reaches to its many parts. And yet the simple task of undressing is all it takes to defeat them. From a practical point of view it looks hard to undress people as seen here but what the heck, right? Even if this is true in this anime’s setting, don’t you think that the Bugged Ones should wear thicker and hard to take off clothes? Sure, it makes them stand out but at least makes them harder to near impossible to be defeated. Yeah, they never learn. Whatever. As long as we get to see our weekly stripping.

That is why sometimes I am confused to see Mayo who is sometimes close to death with the last piece of decent clothes (not lingerie) hanging on her skin to cheat death. It is like they have conveniently forgotten this rule so that we could enjoy our fanservice. Yeah, I think that sounds sensible. Fanservice… Remember, Mayo is the same race as Hazoku so she shouldn’t be exempted from the rule. Therefore with this, should she be able to put on a bikini and take a bath instead of whatever special bath she said earlier on? Or at least wear a rag? Couldn’t Tamotsu do the same too? Hey, as long as there are some clothes on, right? Screw this logic. My head hurts thinking about this. Can be easily cured if my eyes see more pantsu…

Another mind boggling thing is why the Bugged Ones are only confined to Akiba. Maybe there was some explanation that I wasn’t paying attention to. Because of this, it only makes sense why they never tried to take over the world. Yeah, this invisible wall thingy like how it is so annoying in video games, prevents them from venturing further outside. And to think that for centuries they have enslaved humanity and that is only a mere fraction and confined in Akiba. Problem solved if all humans move out of Akiba. And besides, this gaping hole brings me to the point of how big Akiba is. Because unless it is like the size of Russia, I am very sure Mayo shouldn’t have a hard time finding grandma’s base. Sure there are dark nooks and corners in Akiba or anywhere in the world but I know that Akiba isn’t that super big city even though I have not visited the place myself. Even if you include its surrounding wards, it still won’t be that huge. You can argue that Mayo is a one (wo)man show in trying to keep the peace but over 20 years and still not finding it? Has she been looking hard enough? Or too busy staving off waves of Bugged Ones?

It is a visual and trivia feast for those who are really deep into the otaku culture. I am very sure that this series pays homage to the otaku culture as all if not many of the references you see here are real stuffs. Not knockoffs or spoofs like misspelling of famous brands to avoid lawsuits. So when you see actual clips of the latest Street Fighter V being featured (blatant promotion?) and even that American fast food joint, Carl’s Jr being featured (logo and trademark being featured prominently and accurately in an episode), they’re really serious in featuring Akiba as a true melting pot of the otaku culture. Because I am not a hardcore otaku, there are definitely lots of trivia that I have missed. Poor me. Although I believe there are lots more otaku culture in Akiba, but I think this series has decently featured and covered some of the otaku tropes ones such as video games, card games, maid cafes, electronic appliances stores and even the lesser known military one. Well, you can’t talk about the otaku culture without covering at least one of them. So they’ve done a good job in showcasing and creating some awareness even though much of it is for satire and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Viva otaku culture!

As far as the characters go, they try to be interesting but they aren’t really. Because we are so overwhelmed by the otaku trivia, I think we close an eye on this. Because Tamotsu feels like a typical anime main character. Because he got killed and then revived with super powers with a kiss. Then they go about defeating Bugged Ones in each episode that feels like just random standalones. It distracts us from the bad logic of stripping as well as the cheesy interaction between Tamotsu and Mayo. We can see that there is some sort of romance brewing between them from miles away although we can also see that Mayo being a tsundere not being honest to herself. There are signs and those body languages that you can’t ignore… And then finally they blend it in and make them hit it off seamlessly and naturally like as though they’ve gotten along fine for a long time. Well, good for them. So the couple that patrols and strips Bugged Ones together, stays together? I’m just jealous that Tamotsu has this wonderful skills of stripping others and he did it to several maids. DAMN IT WHERE CAN I LEARN SUCH SKILLS???!!! Ahem…

Then the rest of the Electric Mayonnaise group are just being part of the cliché like Arisa that busty blonde foreigner who is also the most cheerful and lively among the pack. Am I thinking too much that her surname feels weird in a goofy sense, like as though it is fake and on purpose? Throw in Niwaka as the cute little sister for you imouto fetish creeps and there you have a little group of vigilantes. Professor is there as the ‘brains’ since she sometimes has the device for the solutions and has this running joke of popping up from out of nowhere. To make her stand out more, I guess that is why the make her a glasses character, twintail, tanned, extra-long sleeves and, uhm, always riding a Segway? Whatever.

Kage might look like a funny cartoonish character and he sounds like he has an ulterior motive but sorry, no big twist whatsoever. He’s just a good guy. Other minor characters who make their cameo in single episodes feel like they are typical clichés of the otaku world. They appear in the climax of the series so as to remind us that they’re still around. Because that is what you do after being ‘saved’, right? Yeah, better than killing them off… Nobody really dies in this anime. Even Pyuko somehow comes back alive to save Tamotsu in the final episode. I don’t think that’s a clone either. The only dead ones are those Hazoku… But as shown by Professor how she can save what is left of Hazoku given she does it in time, maybe she did the same for the rest? Just that we didn’t see it. There might be more than meet the eye to her than thought… Somehow I can’t help think that Fukame is a representation of people who has hated something many others love for such a long time that they are blinded by their own biasness only to be debunked and seen the truth at the long end of the tunnel. By then it is too late and regrets of how they would have done things differently then. But hey, at least better late than never.

Voice acting wise, the main casts are rather newbies as the ones I recognized are relegated to cameo roles like Daisuke Ono as Masada, Aoi Yuuki as Matsuko, Yui Ogura as Pyuko and Jouji Nakata as Kage. The main casts are Haruki Ishiya as Tamotsu (Shuuichi in Hibike! Euphonium), Rie Takahashi doing a double take as Mayo and Urame (Megumin in KonoSuba, Futaba in Sore Ga Seiyuu), Yuki Nagaku as Arisa (Ichigo in Sore Ga Seiyuu), Marika Kouno as Niwaka (Rin in Sore Ga Seiyuu), Misaki Kuno as Professor (Hawk in Nanatsu No Taizai), Chinami Hashimoto as Mashiro (Chiyo in Prison School) and Masumi Asano as Fukame (Hakufu in Ikkitousen series).

To further showcase the powerhouse of idols in Akiba, each episode has a different ending theme featuring different pop idol groups. So if you really like idol type songs, you’re going to love some of the groups featuring here like Petit Milady, Milky Holmes (yes, those bungling loli detectives) and even Earphones. Earphones who? If you watched Sore Ga Seiyuu, the idol unit created in that anime looks like they have taken off as a real idol unit. Guess what? Here is another interesting trivia. That Earphone idol unit is exactly the same group as Mania! The same seiyuus who voiced the main trio here are also the same main trio in Sore Ga Seiyuu! Should have seen it coming and noticed this in my previous paragraph… Now are we confused on which name we should call them? Because out of all the ending songs, my favourite is the catchy Sanki Tousen by Earphones. Or is it Mania? Despite the different ending themes, there is only 1 opening theme, Ikken Rakuchaku Go Youjin by Earphones. Or is it Mania? Hmm… Since officially it is listed as Earphones but isn’t ironic using a different unit name for this anime? God, I’m so confused!

The art and drawing feel like low quality. At least for the characters who feel like as though they are of low quality due to the very simplistic and plain design in many of them. It’s like as though they didn’t want to put in a lot of details but still want to make them look like cute and kawaii anime characters so they scrap together what they’ve got. Because do you not agree with me that if you look closely at our Electric Mayonnaise, don’t they look just a tad weird in that sense? Thus in that sense, it makes it look of a lesser quality than other Gonzo’s works in which characters have this cute and kawaii design like Seto No Hanayome, Saki and even Sore Ga Seiyuu. Even when the characters take a beating and to show their injury bump, it is usually exaggerated in a cartoonish way. However the streets and backgrounds are given more detail and closely depicts the real streets of Akiba. So if you can’t stomach the plain characters and animation, just look and admire at the backgrounds. Good enough to make me wonder if they are really hand drawn or real pictures but being given some special facelift. Well, at least everything is bright, vibrant and colourful.

Overall, if you are an otaku fan, you should be able to enjoy this series with its otaku references and trivia despite all its goofy and silly plot, flawed logic and plain but cliché characters. Brainless but energetic. To others who aren’t so fond of this culture, it is a red warning sign to stay away. A trip that you might want to come back again or never return. It either gives you a shock treatment that scars your pure ideal concept of Akiba (really?) or you look forward for more of its greatness. It makes you want to learn more about the unique culture or gives you very unrealistic expectations from what you can get and see in this town. Akiba might be a place for everyone and yet still isn’t for everyone. Be warned that once you check into this otaku culture, you can never leave. Forever.

Teekyuu S8

June 2, 2017

I am starting to feel that Teekyuu will become the version of Gintama for short series. No, not One Piece or Naruto because those long running series are continuous. Gintama is long running too but they take breaks in between. That is what Teekyuu is like as it now enters its eight season. Although it is sad that they didn’t add more seasons to it after that and just a single lonely season by itself. Holy crap! It is already 8 seasons?! Man, where has time flown?! Did time really fly when you are having fun?! Or maybe the episodes are just too short.

Season 8

Episode 85
Kondou drafts our Teekyuu girls for a national school newspaper contest that is held 7-8 times a year. She needs them to come up with ideas. In that case, Marimo decides to cause a major scandal by pulling down Yuri’s panties! Maybe she just wants her panties… Kondou needs good ideas. I guess her standards are so high that not even the supernatural existing right before her eyes would cut it. Last time Kondou won with her scoop on Marino wrapped in panties and she won big. Time to try new ideas. So they try the library for the history of Kameido. Only 2 pages… Kondou finds an evil looking grimoire. She opens it and she gets sucked into it. A devil is before her and will grant any wish in exchange for her soul. After finding out the market price of a soul, she decides to cancel the cooling off rule. Is that a wish? Speaking of that… When she wakes up, it seems she won the grand prize. An article of turning that supernatural into sushi. Super delicious!

Episode 86
The girls eat at a ramen shop. However the chef seems to be quite peculiar. He has sloppy handwriting, uses meal tickets for orders and even as grande frappuccino on the menu! Oh, he also throws in extras like the autograph of some random old man who lives around here. Kanae orders her ramen with some long ass name like as though she is reciting a spell (this puts Harry Potter to shame). Once done, the chef eats it himself! A couple of yakuza guys enter and remind him to pay up. Of course Yuri can’t eat in this distraction but it seems the rest of her friends are pretty oblivious. Not perturbed at all! The yakuza guys threaten to shut down the shop if he can’t pay. The chef pleads not to as this shop has lots of nostalgic memories. He wants them to eat his ramen and then decide. Well, how does it taste? Oh my! It’s so shockingly… Shockingly… The shop is now up for sale…

Episode 87
We’re going to the beach! Again! But it is Tomarin’s first time. But how are they going to get there? In Annekov’s glittery hearse! But there aren’t enough seats. Don’t worry. Yuri can ride in the coffin! They eventually rent a car and since Annekov is bad at reading maps, she has Yuri as her navigator. Yeah, the GPS sucks. Annekov drives fast and recklessly. Because if they die, she can hold a memorial for them. The usual antics during the journey including Kanae getting car sick and taking the turmeric raw, Nasuno complaining she has only ride in limos and carriages and singing weird songs. They stop for a break. The chef won’t make Yuri’s soba and Tomarin is using the chopsticks wrongly. Just when it seemed like they fast forward they are satisfied having fun at the beach, Yuri retorts that they haven’t even arrive there yet. Still on the way…

Episode 88
The girls are at the beach during winter! While Kanae makes editing jokes, Annekov suggests fishing and they fish out a giant squid as it reels away Annekov and Kondou. Tomarin finds it boring and wants to destroy this planet! Before that could happen, Nasuno summons her Titanic. It crashes into an iceberg, leaving Yuri and Kanae stranded. Then Kanae gets sick and ‘dies’. Yuri is washed ashore all alone. However her friends keep her company in her heart. Too bad that was just a cheap dream. But she is still alone on an island hearing weird monologues of the whereabouts of her friends like Marimo is frozen in North Pole, Tomarin revives herself via space power, Nasuno using money to revive herself, Kondou and Annekov return to the spirit world and Kanae walked home across the ocean.

Episode 89
The girls are staying at a haunted inn. The room is empty except for a plate of salt, a cursed doll and talismans all over the wall. In fact, the girls have lots of fun taking baths, soaking in the hotspring, playing ping pong and then drinking. In the middle of the night when Yuri gets up to go to toilet, she thought Marimo is murdered but that ‘blood’ stain is she wetted herself and she is just sleep talking. The cursed doll is going to curse everyone but Nasuno in her sleep walking beats it up! I guess nothing scares Yuri anymore because seeing floating sleeping Tomarin, standing sleeping Kondou and Kanae sleeping in the toilet bowl aren’t anything surprising. An evil spirit tries to scare them but since they are so deep in sleep, I guess the joke’s on him. Next day everybody leaves feeling great. It was the best stay ever!

Episode 90
Nasuno takes her friends to an art museum she just bought. And so you could see ‘art-like’ stuffs like a painting of a who-the-heck-is-this old guy, actual stains and moulds as paintings, old handphones, old PCs (CRT monitor!) and even a recently released manga! Oh, there’s this art containing words that looks like scribbles. Maybe they are really just scribbles… Nasuno then buys a natural history museum. What looks like a mammoth’s tusk and moon rock is actually some driftwood and pebble respectively. Oh, there’s even that recent manga… Nasuno thinks of buying a botanical garden next…

Episode 91
The girls play an online RPG. Nasuno is already overpowered with all the gear she ‘extorted’ from the store. Marimo’s character is a totally nude character! She gets banned of course! She returns in a traditional Chinese kung fu suit and tries to eat grass to heal but gets stomach ache. They first fight a konjac noodles monster and beat it up so badly that they look like the bad guys. They even try to pick a fight with a villager but he owned them. They face their greatest challenge fighting a dragon. Is there no way to defeat it? Here comes the villager to kick its ass! He is more powerful than them? Then he beats them all up till they’re dead.

Episode 92
Yuri realizes she is in Marimo’s body. Hard to believe, right? It gets harder when Marimo sees her original body and thinks Yuri is also Marimo. Yeah, you can’t tell them apart when they are talking in sync. Time for your brains to explode as Nasuno ramps up the complication. Assuming both are real Yuri, where did Marimo go? It’s so darn confusing that Kanae gave up and thinks she is Yuri! So while the battle for the real Yuri rages on, Tomarin uses her antenna to reveal the real one. But some evil alien materializes as she claims she has the power to switch minds and bodies. She then switches everybody. This is getting confusing too. Some business cards and Powerpoint attack turn everyone back to normal. Don’t ask. I don’t even know what’s going on.

Episode 93
Time to go a little back in time when Kanae made her high school debut. She first met Nasuno. I’m sure she is doing it on purpose when Nasuno instead of giving her business card gives money! They think the other wants to join the tennis club. Because it is literally written all over their face. They fill up the application form and Nasuno attaches money instead of her photo on it. Kanae relates why she wanted to join the tennis club. Her father is a tennis ball. Yes, a tennis ball! One day playing catch, a dog retrieved it and he never came back. Nasuno? She thought it was a thing for rich people. After handing in their applications, they have joined the kendo club…

Episode 94
Kanae and Nasuno are excited to know a girl next class has joined the tennis club. They go look for her. This retro looking girl? No. She was splattered with salmon roe with a tennis racquet. This sushi chef girl? Well, she claims to be it. After school they go practice but they are all making sushi! There is the Nationals for sushi? Apparently she isn’t a real tennis club member. She uses the racquet to skin for salmon roe. The duo leave disappointed. That is when they bump into Marimo running away the police. She can’t help stop squeezing Nasuno’s tits. She beats her up before the police takes her in. Nasuno then bails her out since she is a tennis club member. Marimo claims she only joins the club to see panties. Such deep reason! Nasuno points out they are underskirt. Disappointed but whatever. The trio became friends and start their first practice together by making sushi.

Episode 95
The school is holding a marathon. Kanae’s legs are super muscular because she did squats while Marimo’s biceps are super bulging so she can get water from the station. As the race begins, they face all kinds of stupid obstacles like some warped wall, Nasuno getting bored and going home halfway, eating bread, drinking jelly, someone making cones for fun, gorillas throwing red bean paste and when they cross the finish line, turns out it is fake because someone was just making just for fun.

Episode 96
Yuri finds the tennis net broken. She could have used the club funds to buy a new one but the others have used it to by sandbags! Nasuno takes them to work at KFC and introduces them to the boring sounding manager. Nasuno threatens to fire him however he cites his fixed contract and the legal trouble she could get him if she fires him for nothing. Yeah, you can’t use your money power this time. The manager trains them how to use the register and make fried chicken. They fool around but he is not amused. A customer comes in and he is a giant rooster! Manager can understand what he wants?! Then a peahen enters and the manager also knows what he wants! Are you kidding me?!

Tee-hee-hee Cute!
So… Where is my ninth season???!!! Don’t tell me this season is just a naughty teaser to get you addicted and make you pine for more. And then many years later when we are old and grey, they suddenly come back with another season to make us jump with joy and then kill us off with a heart attack. But then we are revived from heaven to come back and at least watch another dozen episodes of absurdity before going back to heaven but got lost on the way and ended up in hell anyway. Oh yeah. That felt like a typical Teekyuu episode.

Basically this season like all the rest have maintained their wacky randomness. The characters and plots make no sense but we are okay with it since we are so familiar with what to expect. It doesn’t break any new ground but since we all love it this way, why fix something that isn’t broken? I mean, they’re not going to play tennis and aim for Wimbledon, right? Yeah, no real tennis played here again. Not even that flashback. Is tennis just a fancy term or excuse for doing weird stuffs? Thus there is nothing more for me to comment because it will be repeating myself. And I’m too lazy to write them again.

This time there are 2 opening themes in the same season. This time giving the animation more focus on either Tomarin or Kondou. Both Gluten Elegy by Kondou and Nihongo Wakarimasen by Tomarin maintain their wacky and bizarre nature like previous Teekyuu’s opening themes. If you’re already going crazy from watching and hearing the opening themes and animation, nothing will prepare you for the episode proper then. Or nothing actually happens because right now I am so immune to it.

Overall, I maintain my stand that Teekyuu should be the short anime version of Gintama and go on forever and forever. Maybe the series’ running time is too short for us to get bored, that is why each season we welcome it with open arms and gleeful smile. We know what we are going to get into. We know what we are going to expect. We know what we want. All hail Teekyuu! Now give us a ninth season already!

Anitore! XX

May 26, 2017

I see for the past year we haven’t been moving our lazy asses very much. All those fats and residuals have settled down as we get comfy sitting on our chairs watching mindless anime series. Because of that, some people think it is a good reminder to give us lazy weeaboos a second season of a short anime exercising series, Anitore! XX. What are those people, silly? Are they insulting us by thinking that we can only move our fat lazy bums whenever there are cute 2D girls telling us to? Well, seems like it. So once again, we otakus need to get our asses off the couch and do some simple exercises and stay a little healthier and a little longer. Because nobody cares about a dead otaku… I mean, really. Nobody cares… :’-(. Who else are going to buy those cheap rip-off workout videos if we don’t stay healthy enough to live long enough?! Think about it!

Episode 1
Asami wakes us up from our sleep because instead of dreaming pervy stuffs, what better way than to look at sexy girls while helping them clean the house, right? Yeah, look at her new sexy sportswear. Don’t blame us for having horny thoughts. When then help Eri clean the floors but can’t help look at her nice butt. After helping Yuu with the bookshelf, we get fanservice reward from Shizuno because her ferret pet starts making itself home in her boobs. We freak out Shion as we see her in her normal form instead of her chuunibyou. After all that, we get to the proper training of lateral side bend to hone those abdominal muscles. I think if you really want those abs, you have got to do it more than a minute… Damn our fanservice reward at the end with a bath scene didn’t materialize…

Episode 2
We follow Eri to school via train. She tells us a couple of simple exercises we can take while we ride to our destination. Like the invisible chair which is supposed to improve our leg muscles. Then there is the calf raises to improve your calf muscles. It’s like stretching up your feet/toes like as though you want to get something from a higher place but your heels mustn’t touch the ground when you repeat this exercise. We get to meet Eri’s friend too as she teases Eri about her relationship with us. And there is Shion in a dilemma showing her chuunibyou and her normal side to Eri and a customer. Can a girl be at 2 places at one time?

Episode 3
Double pleasure because Shizuno is going to help Yuu do mat exercises. Good for balancing and motor skills, we start off with somersault which actually feels like doing a front roll on the ground. Then they do some hands and legs spreading to loosen up further (why does this sentence sound so dirty) before they continue with an extended somersault which has you stretching your limbs at the end of the roll. Shizuno hugs Yuu for her effort, making her fluster. Not lesbian enough after all that hard work…

Episode 4
Pay no heed to Shion’s complicated words. Since we still remember her working at that station, she is going to erase our memories via this ritual exercise. This supine hip lift will help train your spine, butt muscles and hamstrings while this sit-up will improve your abdominal muscles. Nothing about erasing our memories… When her mom comes to pay a visit and thanks us for taking care of her daughter, Shion then ‘dies’.

Episode 5
Asami likes the pool to be made out of pudding. But whatever it is filled with, we must first do our stretching, right? Shizuno is here again to help out because these stretching exercises need a pair. Like this stretching that stretches from your waist to your back with one partner lying on top of the other (did I describe it to sound dirty?). Next stretching involves pulling each other’s hands while in a sitting position. There is also the leg stretching exercise to loosen your butt and hamstring muscles. But I’m sure we’re bored with all that so the ferret excites us all by stealing the girls’ bikini top. Asami chases it down in the pool while swimming like a dog.

Episode 6
Our new character finally makes a proper debut. Sakura Izumi starts off as a princess brat. She makes you massage her shoulders and when you massage too hard, she threatens to call her papa but will forgive you if you become her horse. Sorry, no S&M play here. So she rides you (why does this sound dirty?) and she gets worried when you complain she is heavy. Luckily, she didn’t get insulted and decides to lighten up by doing sit-ups on a balance ball. After that, doing wide squats to show why she is the ruler of her empire. Huh? Actually, otherwise we won’t become her horse. I didn’t know this princess is so cute to bully. Once done, she is too tired to ride you but as a reward, you give her a princess carry. Hence you upgraded from her horse to her retainer.

Episode 7
We follow Asami and Eri do some kind of aerobics jogging. Not that I understand it very well because I was paying more attention to some ‘fanservice’. Anyway there is some sort of posture you need to maintain when you jog. Not that I care. We see them jog across town with Asami almost getting distracted with everything. Finally they reach back their dorm and we are greatly rewarded with a bath scene with all the girls! Yeah, this workout was worth it! Eri fondles Asami’s boobs but to her dismay realizes it has grown bigger than hers. Really? She can tell?

Episode 8
Shion is giving Yuu some massage after her jogging. As usual, don’t pay heed to all that chuunibyou crap she spouts. Just massage her body, will you? However Shion faces competition in the form of Sakura as she considers Yuu her subject. Yeah, in short they are really arguing over her friendship. So Yuu lets them both massage her but the competition gets too intense so Shion and Sakura start doing submission moves on each other while saying how Yuu is important to them. The fighting is just getting crazier so Yuu can’t take it all and also becomes equally crazy. Because it is like something inside her switched on and now she turns into a chuunibyou ruler! Bow before your empress!

Episode 9
We now do rope skipping with Shizuno. Now I understand why this method was chosen. Guess which body part bounces the most when you skip ropes? That’s right! She ups the next exercise with criss-crossing for even more bouncy effect! We don’t care how she is explaining her fun and motivating life with everyone else. Because we are thanking her pet ferret who did us a favour by wrapping Shizuno with the skipping rope and pushing her towards us! So to thank us for saving her from her fall, she feeds us sweets. Hell yeah, everything was so worth it.

Episode 10
Yuu guides us how to do push-ups. Because she is still afraid to put on her new contacts, she thinks of doing more exercise to relax. Hence we have this prawn back extension style. Once done, she puts them on with confidence. She is about to show the other girls but bumps into Shion, causing her contacts to drop off. Worse, Sakura accidentally rolls over it with her 2-wheel electric scooter. While they are panicking over this, Yuu has no qualms going back to glasses. Yeah, she looks cuter this way, right? Megane fetish…

Episode 11
Asami is going to do some dumbbell training. If you don’t have dumbbells, water bottles will also do. Once done, we go help out all the other girls in their chores and it seems all of them wants to make an appointment with us and tell us something. Man, I didn’t know we are that popular. We can’t even get a single girl to talk to us and know these girls want to tell us something?! Banzai 2D girls!

Episode 12
Get your mind out of the gutter! The girls aren’t going to ask us for anything risqué. Instead, all they want is to tell us how grateful they are and their wish to be with us. That’s all. We return to the dorm for a Christmas party. It feels like an irony because after all that training, they really let loose on the food. So to cover it up, everyone does the invisible chair training while eating. The real competition starts when all the girls want us to be the ones sitting next to her. If only we are this famous and in demand in real life. But the ‘end’ also feels like a trolling reminder because it might be just a dream as Asami wakes us up and tells us to wipe that pervy grin out from our face. Or could this be the aftermath of the party?

Round Is A Shape…
And so nothing really much changes… Just like the last time, there is no way that we would really seriously get up and attempt to just emulate in the simplest way the training those girls did, right? So did you right hand do all the exercise then? Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Sorry. Just kidding. But really. Did you? Therefore this series only exists as an excuse to make us lazy otakus who are too lazy to think about it that this is just some cheap money grabbing move in the guise of cute girls doing some exercise. Because I am very sure that it will take more than just 10 counts of every exercise to even make a little difference. Wow. You really need all that effort to just get in shape? What’s that you say? Something about getting those six-pack abs? Well, remember the lazy rule of can’t reach it, then don’t need it. The six-pack that some of us will only be getting right now is the beer in the fridge. Haha! Lazy joke…

Anyway, as so obviously seen, just like last season this exercise series is some blatant excuse to cover up the fanservice because that is where our eyes and minds will be focusing. And because that is where the cameras will be pointing. And also we are looking through the eyes of the main protagonist so it also shows how pervy we are while those naïve girls think we are so kind in helping them. Yeah, let’s keep it that way. I just want to note that I have seen so many risqué fanservice series that this one is so mild that I would even recommend my toddler nephew to watch it. The fanservice level here is nothing compared to even other mild ecchi animes. Therefore at this point if I want to say this sequel is a fapping material would be a lot inaccurate because nothing here about the girls doing their exercise while the camera focuses on their delicious parts would constitute to anything suggestive and stimulating. You have got to be really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really horny or just extremely desperate and deprived to jerk off to this. I do notice that when I try my best to describe some of the exercises, it makes them sound unintentionally dirty. Well, it’s all in the mind.

By introducing a new character, it hardly makes any difference at all. Just another extra cute girl to look at. And with a princess attitude. That’s all. Even if they add another 100 cute girls to the mix it still wouldn’t make any difference. It is like Sakura’s introduction is the ‘bait’ to make us watch this season. Otherwise why the hell would we want to watch another season of exercise if it only involved the same bunch of girls? Yes, fanservice is a motivation but imagine our curiosity piqued just because of that new girl. We want to know and see how cute she is, right? Dang. We have fallen into that psychological trap.

Even as a new character, I have a feeling that Sakura doesn’t have much screen time compared to the rest too. That is why I said she too hardly made any difference. Because with the extremely short duration of 4 minutes per episode, why the heck do we even need the girls to have some sort of background and back story? You could even say that porn has better back stories for their leading female porn star than this one. Haha! I remember that funniest scene in the final episode of the first season whereby the girls imitate strange animal poses in some sort of weird music video. That didn’t happen here and it seems they turned into some sort of dating simulation. Yeah, we’re so important to the girls that they can’t do any training without us. I wonder if they are willing to go further than these exercises in that case. Get what I mean? Naughty, naughty…

Overall, if you really want to do some real workout, you can’t just rely on this sequel and then brag about it as an achievement that you have exercised. It is a real commitment and perseverance that takes more than jut 2D girls guiding you on what to do on screen. Hmm… I wonder if they do make another season, would they call it Anitore! XXX? See where I am going with this?! Holy crap! Looks like this series has only corrupted my mind instead of turning it healthier. Come to think of it, the porn version might have even more outrageous and rigorous exercise that would really get us to move. That right hand. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! No, seriously. So until the next exercise video comes up, we otakus are going back to our usual lazy attitude like as though we have learnt nothing. I know it is true that nothing is impossible. But I’ve been doing nothing for many years and I’m still fine! Suddenly the health and fitness theories have all been lazily debunked…

I didn’t know this was getting a sequel. So I am guessing that Okusama Ga Seitokaichou+ got another season is because we have waited long enough for some borderline hentai material but none that quite matches all the ecchi stuffs we want put into an episode that is 1/3 the length of a normal anime duration. It is time to feed our horny need again. Yes folks. Time to get ourselves ready for some more fapping and wanking material even if we have forgotten the reason why a pair of high school student council members are living with each other in the first place. All that matters is that they provide the right amount of tits and seductive panty shots fanservice. That is the real goal of this series! Hell yeah!

Episode 1
Everybody loves Ui. Smart and sexy. And occasional free pantsu shots courtesy to God being naughty with the wind. Because she maintains her dignity instead of beating everybody up like how other embarrassed girls used to, this makes everybody love her even more. Back home, Izumi knows something is wrong when Ui is trying to get more physical with him. It looked like she learnt something from watching porn because she puts her feet on his crotch and starts rubbing!!! Apparently this was suggested by Karen. Izumi thought he could stand this since she is a noob but from his point of view, her panties are visible so he cuts short this fanservice. WTF. You prefer to go study than let your horny wife do this?! GAY!!! After she takes a bath, she tries to distract him with her boobs but it seems he prefers studying more. GAY!!! While lying frustrated on his bed, that is when she gets turned on smelling his blanket. A little masturbation and then it turns into some sort of poorly imitated sex with his blanket. She gets very embarrasses since Izumi has been watching since the start! She blames him for not giving her enough attention and what do you know? He pushes her down and starts sucking her tits! OMFG! You, you monster!!! Can you blame a guy when you’re trying to control yourself and your hungry wife accusing you for not doing a manly job? But porn time is interrupted when Kei knocks on the door drunk. Oops. Wrong home. But Kei whispers to Izumi that she knows he is f*cking Ui and to keep it down. She won’t tell anybody about it but don’t push your luck. Somebody always knows what you’re doing…

Episode 2
The girls are changing and as usual sizing up each other’s boobs. But the thing is, they’re doing it at Izumi’s place! And he can hear every damn thing they say. When he hears somebody scream, he rushes in. Nothing much. Except ladies in undies and Misumi and her bare tits. Looks good. But doesn’t look good for him too. They visit the festivals and Izumi can’t help staring at Misumi’s boobs because despite in her yukata, they’re still humongous! This doesn’t sit well with Ui so she tries to grab some attention by putting water balloons into her own to match. I suppose Izumi said more than he should as he comments on male urges because Misumi has noticed him staring for quite a long time. So she dunks the water balloon on his head and runs off. She notes how disgusting when boys stare at her tits but somehow she doesn’t feel so with Izumi. When Izumi finds her, he tries to apologize but some other guy bumped into him and causes his face to fall into her boobs. Then she brings him to a deserted area. Her bra is unhook so you need him to fix it? Thinking he is really into big boobs, she is willing to put her body on her line. Meaning, she gives him permission to touch her tits and vent his sexual urges. So how is this preventing further sexual conduct in school? Anyway he takes up the offer and he must be so good that she gives off satisfying moans. Embarrassed, she beats him up. Fun time over. When they return, Ui gives him suspicious stares. A woman knows…

Episode 3
When Izumi’s friend shows upskirt pictures and boobs shots of girls from their school, this means the underground photography club is back. They were shut down after that pool incident but looks like they’re back on track. Ui decide to go talk to its president, Haruka Saijou but Misumi is already there warning them. Though, Saijou explains they are doing this to raise funds to buy single lens reflex cameras for each member. Thank capitalism! But Saijou has an ace up her sleeves. She hints she was there at the festivals and took some risqué shots of Izumi fondling Misumi. Therefore they can’t take any drastic actions against the club so long they have this little HD card gem. So they stay and observe the club meeting. It seems the club is able to get all those sexy shots is because every member is female. Therefore they have free reins in many places like locker rooms and toilets. But Misumi points out a photo is fake because this isn’t really her. It is her but it isn’t because she doesn’t own a black bra. Saijou then proceeds to demonstrate how all the members strip and take sexy poses of themselves and then Photoshop it with faces of other students (Izumi is blindfolded during this). But during this explanation, Ui has swapped her HD card and destroys it. So much about putting all your eggs in one basket. Now that they have nothing to blackmail them, Ui is willing to overlook this provided if they all work as the student council’s photographers. Izumi disagrees and accidentally takes off his blindfold. Why does he always get to see the juicy parts? With the chaos, Misumi thinks she’ll buy some black lingerie because Izumi quoted saying she looked mature in it.

Episode 4
Misumi is proudly doing her jobs as public morals committee. She notices Izumi still staring at her boobs so this time she coolly says she’ll gladly help divert his lust again. Yeah, Izumi is starting to sound like a sexual deviant. Of course Ui’s appearance means he will still be keeping his lust. She fires back the student council’s works have begun taking root if Misumi is acting like that. Of course she denies and claims she has helped assist in Izumi’s sexual urges on her instead on someone else again. Again. I think Ui needs an explanation. Misumi is proud of her work but she realizes she is seeing many more couples recently. Has Ui’s work really taken off? So when Misumi wants Ui to accompany her to learn their sublime ideals, she makes Izumi accompany her instead. Shouldn’t she be worried? Ui is confident Misumi is still inexperienced in these matters. Misumi and Izumi are supposed to head to the meeting room but they spotted a couple starting to make love at a lab. As their actions get more risqué, Misumi is watching with full focus! Uhm, shouldn’t she be stopping them? Their indecency reminds her about that festival incident. Feeling good? No? Then what’s with that face? When the couple’s indecency is moving into hentai area, that is when Misumi snaps out of it and stops them. Later Izumi asks what that was all about. Misumi can’t bring herself to break apart people who are looking so happy together. Really? She wonders if they were doing that, would they look like a happy couple? Wait. What? Of course not. She just trolled him.

Episode 5
Ui is so freaking hot and sexy. So hot because she is sick!!! Izumi nurses her and he wonders how feeding porridge can make it look like a porn scene!!! You know, white rice dripping all over her body and the spoon can’t fit into her mouth… Oh Ui, you’re the master of ambiguity. I guess somebody is going to get sick if he doesn’t control himself. Hurry or Ui will be broken forever. Luckily (or not) Kei is here so he gets her to help. Unfortunately she is the wrong person to ask because she fondles Ui’s boobs to check her temperature. In the end, Kei gives him a suppository and condom. One to stick it in the butthole and the other in the other hole!!! OMFG!!! As expected, Ui can’t shove the suppository on her own and wants Izumi to do it. Oh God. He is really going to do it?! Look at his shaking hands! Because he puts a cloth over her butt, he can’t see where he is going so his hands start to fondle around. Let your imagination run wild. I hope he inserted it into the right hole. Maybe. Because now Ui is acting like a deprived slut. Her sexiness has increased many times fold and you can’t blame Izumi for having a boner right now. She smothers his face in her boobs and sits her leg is rubbing against his crotch, he can’t hold it any longer and… Uhm… Erm… Oh dear. Did he soil his pants? I mean, the other kind of ‘soiling’. Shouldn’t he feel good? Because he locks himself in his room trying to repent his actions.

Episode 6
With Ui’s love liberation making good ground, Niikura seems to want a piece of that action. So she pleads to Ui for permission to borrow Izumi as her boyfriend for a day. Ui might agree but do you think she can leave them alone? So here they are with Izumi helping Niikura try some new clothes. Because the changing room is big enough, the clerk pushes them in together. Izumi tries to not look but with mirrors on all sides… He blows his top when Niikura changes her clothes like as though he isn’t there. Because she is exposing her lower regions! She didn’t even realize her panties are missing?! So while he doesn’t look and she puts it back on, she trips. And as expected, she falls over Izumi and somehow he got his face in her crotch. They’re making so much ambiguous noise during the struggle at this rate that you might want to suggest they get a room. At the park, Niikura sits on his lap. The thought of her possible naked ass is constantly filling his mind. Then, she wants to go to a love hotel and has a condom ready in hand! She wants him to teach him love etiquette and is ready to kiss him but Ui who has been watching since the start now interrupts to break them up. Niikura understands this gesture and pushes Ui close to Izumi. With both girls flanking him, Niikura approves this threesome at the love hotel! WTF???!!!

Episode 7
Kei accidentally mentions to Misumi that Izumi and Ui are living together. Wow. She’s saying it like there is no repercussions for her. Yeah, there isn’t. Misumi blows her top and marches next door right away. She lectures Izumi like as though she is his mother. He doesn’t say anything back as he thinks it is about time this cohabitation term needs to be settled. Misumi turns her anger on Ui as she is very casual about this still. Why so mad? Are you jealous of being left out of the fun? Just saying… She sounds so sad thinking they must be laughing behind her back for not knowing. Anyway to see if they have been indulging in immoral activities, Misumi goes to check his room. So what is this condom in his drawer?! That’s from Kei but Ui put it there for him to have easier access! Then she is going to check under his bed for porn magazines but Ui shows it to him his folders where he keeps all his porn! A wife must know her husband’s taste?! Noticing they are all women with big boobs, Misumi takes pride that Izumi requested her to release his pent up lust for those jugs. Ui won’t lose out and puts his hand on her breast. Misumi won’t lose out too and does the same. Then she says it is fine if he likes big breasts. But girls are more than just their parts! So true. They realize Kei has been watching them. If she didn’t make any noise, she could have continued watching this interesting scene. When Izumi tries to get his hands off, he accidentally lifts up Misumi’s shirt and unveiling her tits. She knocks the daylights out of him.

Episode 8
Ui decides to wake Izumi up via sexy wife call. No response. But this makes her fluster in glee. That woke him up. Izumi dreads tasting the toast she made since it looked like some poison. But it actually tastes good. This makes him think she is really putting some thought into this instead of just slacking around. While studying, Izumi drops his eraser underneath the kotatsu. As he goes pick up, he sees Ui’s pantsu! Good thing or not, she is sleepy so she didn’t notice as she toss and turn, giving him the ultimate fanservice. This has him quote how ‘loose her vagina’ is! When he hands some salad snack, she thought he made it but it is actually from Misumi who came over last night. Ui can’t stop pouting. Izumi notices Misumi has been staying over at Kei’s place more often to spy on them but Ui knows another reason well. Like any typical women, she won’t say what it is and further pouts. Then she sleeps on his lap and has him feed her tangerines. His fingers are dripping with the juice so she sucks on them. He immediately envisions her in a sexy swimsuit! He is so turned on that he is about to get steamy with her when Misumi comes over and knocks lunch over his head! Yeah, the door was unlock. How careless. So what is the meaning of this lunch? Misumi has officially moved in to stay with her sister forever and will be their neighbour! Let the spy games begin?

Episode 9
Misumi is now like Big Brother America! Always constantly watching them! Even walking to school with them. The moment they try to hold hands, she breaks them apart and revels in it! If under constant surveillance from Misumi wasn’t enough, he noticed Saijou has been spying on him too. As he takes her to the student council room to be rebuked, Saijou takes advantage of him by clinging on to his arm. She continues to flirt with him and despite Ui is mad, she keeps a calm façade. Saijou gets bolder and puts his hands on her boobs because she wants to know what intimate romance is about. Is she serious? Thankfully (or not), Misumi barges in and misinterprets the situation as Saijou wanting him to take naughty pictures of her. Why is only Izumi painted like a sex beast? Before you know it, suddenly Izumi and Misumi are in a kissing position?! Actually Saijou needs to snap a romantic picture for a photography contest. Ui lost the draw. Of course they can’t do it. But this is where the ‘problem’ starts. Izumi wants to opt out and Misumi won’t let him because she wants to opt out first. And when Ui wants to trade place, Misumi won’t allow since she won the draw and continues to prepare to kiss Izumi. WTF???!!! Their face gets close enough before Misumi pushing him away. As expected. Ui takes over and assures she will not run away like Misumi. Too bad he can’t take the heat and excuses himself to the toilet when he is just sitting on the stairways to clear his mind. Saijou comes to talk to him and thought she could show off her pantsu fanservice when she realizes too late she is wearing none! He just got a free view of your butt. But it looks serious when she gets up close to him and says if she really fell in love with him, would it make her pictures look better? Don’t hold your breath. She was just trolling. As expected.

Episode 10
Kei is trying to tell her sister that romance isn’t a bad thing and of course Misumi is denying it is happening to her whatsoever. Kei even tells her own sexual fantasy experience with a ‘slave’. Unfortunately Misumi can’t take it anymore and runs out. But it is her comments that Kei sounds like a perverted old man that leaves big sister all heartbroken. As Misumi ponders over things, Ui passes by and is happen to be in high spirits. This makes Misumi wonder if she’ll understand her ways if she fell in love. The way she says of not dating any guys before and just waiting for Mr Right to come gives Ui all the ammo she needs to fire back at her for being blind to love. Even Sawatari is on Ui’s side to point out that Misumi is already in love! As Izumi’s birthday is in a week, Ui has Misumi tag along to help pick out a present. But why is she making her wear a sexy negligee? Misumi ponders if this is what Izumi likes and starts to feel good. Ui won’t lose out and also tries one out. Sawatari appreciates Ui’s doing in helping Misumi realize her feelings although this isn’t what Ui had in mind. Because of that, Ui declares Misumi as her rival. The girls give Izumi a man’s shirt for his birthday (I guess the negligee was too indecent for Misumi to eventually pick it up). He thanks them and Misumi turns into a tsundere before leaving.

Episode 11
One morning on his way to school, Izumi bumps into Karen and the wind blows up her skirt. She isn’t wearing anything underneath. So oversleeping makes her forget to wear panties? Karen is acting all tough before she is starting to show cracks of being embarrassed. Then she beats him up to warn him not to tell anybody about this. Or else. In class, Izumi can’t get that indecency out of his head and it is obvious. It makes him look like fantasizing naked Karen?! He can’t take this anymore and runs over to Karen’s class just to tell her to put her PE shorts. Unfortunately she didn’t bring them. Desperate, he tries to give her his! WTF?! Don’t you know how misleading taking off your pants looks in front of everybody?! She shoves him out before anything untoward could happen. As they carry some paperwork, Izumi feels Karen is trying to purposely make him peek. The worse possible person to come by, Saijou (sorry, not Misumi) as she wants to take pictures. While Izumi argues with her, true enough the wind from the window blows up her skirt. Saijou starts snapping although Izumi tries to block every shot. Saijou goes away as he warns her about misusing those pictures. One of them has Karen in the edge with the skirt flipped… Karen then beats up Izumi for not thinking ahead. He could have like walked in front of her to close the window or something. Though it is Karen’s fault for acting this risqué, Karen gets hard on herself claiming nobody is interested in her. Izumi realizes she is sulking all this time and remembers what Ui told him about her being a sensitive person. He eases her worries saying that they are both from the student council and he doesn’t want to see her shamed. Her further actions has him realize she is just shy and it is no wonder Ui finds her cute.

Episode 12
Ui is down. Her first Christmas as Izumi’s wife and she can’t think of how to make it a burning hot sexy night! WTF?! Even Izumi is shocked to hear it. So why Karen had to beat him up? Eventually on Christmas Eve, the student council and public morals committee gather at Izumi’s place for a party. Ui is down for real because this means no privacy for her and Izumi. He thought of leaving and make it an all-girls’ party but Sawatari brings him back because he is qualified to join them. How? Remember his cross-dressing last season? Holy sh*t! Ui sees it for the first time and she can recognize it is him. However she gets disappointed she didn’t tell him this kind of things thinking she would make fun of him. Misumi adds fuel to the fire saying Izumi confided in her a long time ago. Izumi has a bad feeling when he notices Ui starting to get mad. But then it was a challenge that she wants to put makeup on him to satisfy his cross-dressing desires. Yup, definitely bad. And Kei gets involved too since Ui had to borrow her makeup kit. Izumi looks decently beautiful as a woman but Sawatari notes all that is missing are boobs! She suggests Misumi to lend her bra and she would gladly do it since Ui is unable (because she is braless at home). Before Misumi can fully unhook, Saijou is at the door. She got a call from Ui about the cross-dressing and wants to take pictures! Fortunately Izumi returns to his normal self and Saijou suggests a group photo. It gets chaotic when Saijou gets playful by sitting on his lap and the picture ends up with everyone frenzied.

Okusama Ga Porn Star Potential!
Seriously, nothing much changes. Almost everything stays the same way and every episode of fanservice is like something similar just wrapped and coated in a different way. Because if you don’t have bare tits naked girls in sexy seductive poses, you have, uhm, bare tits naked girls in other sexy seductive poses. And to think I thought maybe this season would have some sort of serious flashback and plot that tells us a bit more about the characters because I was fooled by the opening credits animation to see the girls in their cute chibi form when they were kids. I should have known better myself what this show is supposed to be from start to finish. At least they stuck to it all the way. No plot okay. Have fanservice, all is okay.

That is why this season feels like it has up the steaminess in its fanservice with almost every possible fanservice scene as fapping and wanking material that makes it hard for any straight guy to resist. The only reasons this isn’t classified as hentai is because there are no real penetrations and clear shots of the female’s lower anatomy. But still, super great fanservice and even more so when you have the girls’ giant boobs bounce so freely and easily like jelly or sponge. The fanservice level gives you all sorts of imaginations and makes you crave if you could ever do this to your girlfriend, vice versa. It makes us loser otaku guys wish we had such sexy and highly sexually active girlfriend. Will we ever get one? Hint: No, real life would never allow that! So shut up and keep watching these kinds of anime!

With these seductive fanservice teasing, sometimes I find it hard and can’t blame Izumi for getting mad or he just turns into a demon and ‘attacks’ Ui. He is like in a catch-22 situation. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. So he is trying to maintain his sanity as a decent high school boy but with a sexually charged self-proclaimed future wife, it is going to be hard to keep his libido in check sometimes. And if he doesn’t, he is gay (although, none points this accusation yet). How nice almost everybody (especially you Misumi) wants to blame and paint him as a sexual assault monster. I have a feeling that at this rate with so many fanservice spamming in his face, Izumi might have difficulties sleeping because each time he closes his eyes all he can see are sexy naked versions of the girls! Talk about extreme conditioning. Well, at least this proves he isn’t gay.

As for Ui, I wonder if this kind of sexy seducing is her way of deepening their relationship because every guy would love to have a chick like that. Because sometimes I’m a bit confused that although she doesn’t get that all mad when Izumi gets into misunderstandings with other girls. It’s good she keeps a calm head and stays true to her love liberation policies. That maybe on the outside, but what about her personal level? Don’t tell me she is indirectly training Izumi to make love to her. Fighting fire with fire? With enough push, he might just be that monster… Anyway, Ui’s sexiness makes her a potential to be a natural porn star. Just saying… Imagine if this saved their relationship… It’s unthinkable.

The only thing that ‘develops’ is that now Misumi knows about the duo living together (the other being Ui discovering the cross-dressing but that is not as impactful as this big secret). Sorry, when I said ‘develop’ I was not talking about boobs although Izumi did once mention about Misumi’s boobs growing again. Wait. He can tell? They’re already so freaking humongous and he can tell they have grown? Wow. How many times has he groped boobs to become an expert? Blame/Thank Ui for that. Anyway despite Misumi knowing about this big secret, it is not like anything has really changed. Because Misumi is still the same hypocritical tsundere that we all know. She claims to do it to stop immoral and indecency among youngsters but in many instances you can see her dreaming and fantasizing about that same immoral thing. I understand that at this point with her being the public morals committee member, if she suddenly lets loose her ideals and gone wild, imagine the effect it will have on her reputation on a school level. Nobody would trust her anymore and she would be labelled as slut, whore, nympho, etc. Then she would fall into depression and contemplate suicide. WOAH! I didn’t realize I was going down a dark path here. But thankfully since this show is about satiating our horniness, let us not think that far of this what-if. Now that she has moved in, is she going to constantly survey them until graduation? College? Married? This is worse than living in a police state.

Hence with Misumi knowing Izumi and Ui are living together, it only serves to increase her own hypocriticalness and bug them even more. I mean, allowing to sacrifice herself so he could vent his sexual frustrations on her? How noble. It’s just a roundabout way of saying, “Please f*ck me because I’m a horny b*tch”. Yeah, that would be such a porn material. Another reason Misumi jumps into doing such indecent things without a second thought (okay, maybe after a slight hesitation) is a weak excuse to one up Ui. Yeah, this should cover up her hypocrisy. In view of this, we could look at all this in a positive light this means Izumi has his own harem. Speaking of that, I believe at this point now almost all the main and supporting female characters have hint to us that they have a thing for Izumi. Even if they don’t but at least the way they show it to us makes us feel we can’t discard the possibility of a 2 horse race between Ui and Misumi. Like Saijou as the only new character in this season, she makes a handful of appearances and why else would you introduce a new girl if she isn’t going to play the role of a competitor? After all, Saijou’s face is as prominent as Ui and Misumi in the opening and ending credits. So this might be a big hint another girls is jumping into the fray.

We have an episode each on Niikura and Karen to at least not make them feel they are just the other student council members with names. Their episode show a different side to them like Karen who is always never fond of that ground beetle (Izumi) and could be a way to just hide her tsundere. Sawatari is one of the two whom I believe doesn’t harbour any real feelings for Izumi as her role seems to be more of trying to support Misumi and make her realize her feelings. That itself is minimal. I might be mistaken but I feel Sawatari AKA the scheming little monotonous sounding doll’s presence is very much lacking this season. It feels like her running joke is to stay under and support the girls with big heavy boobs. Like a symbiotic relationship they can rest their heavy jugs on her head and she has a nice cushion for it. In the final episode it feels like she is making a bolt in trying to support and push Misumi for Izumi but it seems too late for that. Last not least is Kei, the other I believe who isn’t interested in a romantic relationship with Izumi but she prefers to be entertained watching the young ones from the side-lines. After all, she might be the biggest master of perversion. I was going to mention that Ui’s kid-like parents who didn’t make any cameo but now I can’t because for that paltry 5 seconds in the final episode, that is where they popped up. Excuse: They missed their chance to enter.

The series is already so short and it bugs me they have opening and ending themes that are even shorter. Well, that doesn’t really have anything to do with it. What I’m trying to say is that because Ayana Taketatsu who voices Ui is also a great songstress, it would be a waste to not showcase her singing talents and that is why I think no matter how short the ending theme of Koi Ni Matsuwara Etcetera is (20 short seconds only!!!!!), we need to hear her voice somehow. Oh, that is just one version. There is a version for Misumi and Saijou too but it doesn’t make any difference. At least the opening theme, Kira Kira Exploer lasts a little longer. 30 seconds to be exact. At first I thought Ayana Taketatsu sang the opener but it is Rekka Katakiri who also sang the opening theme for the first season.

Overall, this sequel feels like it is made for lonely horny guys who don’t want to be fully corrupted by the viciousness of real hentai. Yeah, what the heck am I saying? If you want big boobs, bare tits, pantsu shots, sexual innuendoes and sexy seductive poses, this season has got it all covered (or uncovered in this case) for you. Because this never happens in real life is the reason why this kind of shows exist. Even if it does, I think such series will still exist anyhow. Men’s horniness knows no bound. Now if they only made a series where the student council president is a maid-sama. Oh wait. They did that anime many years ago!

Nazotokine

April 29, 2017

Normally I don’t have a thing for anime series that has you solve puzzles. Long story short, I’m too dumb and don’t want to think so much. Even mystery series like Detective Conan I have given the skip but some like Hyouka are mind blowing. So it was natural that I was going to skip Nazotokine seeing I wasn’t interested in those puzzle-type animes even if the duration per episode for this show is about 8 minutes. So what prompted me to check this out? There is a pretty and busty lady on the promotional poster of the series! WTF???!!! Damn you advertising tactics! Even if I don’t understand what’s going on, at least I have a nice cutie to gawk at. Haha… Yeah, I don’t even understand the mysteries of my own horniness.

Episode 1
Tokine Amino works as the CEO’s secretary for a PR agency. She meets up with her colleagues who works at the front desk, Yoshie Yamazumi and Kyouka Minakami as they discuss some director of some anime company coming for a meeting. As Tokine readies the meeting room, she can’t wait to meet those big anime bigwigs. Suddenly she is transported to another dimension. Before her is a weird creature in a flying hat, Hacchin. Tokine isn’t impressed of what is happening and starts insulting this inter-dimensional pig. But Hacchin isn’t shocked at her displeasure. He tells her to listen or else risk getting stuck here. This world is called Quizun and she needs to solve riddles to get out of here. Or be stuck here forever. Tokine thought she could get right away in solving this puzzle of floating paintings but apparently there are more procedures to follow. Giving her some dick insignia (just kidding. Okay, in a very general and vague sense in might look like it) and making her wear some tight fitting futuristic outfit that showcases her boobs.

Episode 2
There’s a reason why she has to dress like this. This suit supposedly releases her latent potential that his world suppresses. Oh really? I thought it was for fanservice. Hacchin adds this suit reflects her mental state to adapt to this world and thus is from her own mind rather than his personal taste. Praising her own taste now, huh? Oh, did Hacchin mention there is a time limit? 5 minutes. Oh, since their talking was also included, she has 3 minutes left! As she gets cracking, it may seem the obvious words from the paintings’ space spell out as PEON. Wrong. Then she notices the title of the paintings do not match. When she matches them in the correct order, they spell OPEN. Correct! That moment of eureka has Tokine go into some sort of orgasmic face as some green gem appears from her chest. Hacchin grabs it and explains this Q-Stone is supposedly the stimulus found in the human brain when they experience intellectual pleasure of a eureka. He is pleased she is the chosen one and has never seen such a big Q-Stone before. As promised, he returns her to her world. The meeting goes on well. After work, her friends wonder about Tokine’s spacing out. Is it boyfriend problems or somebody asking her out? She forgot to check out the new anime that aired last night.

Episode 3
Tokine’s friends wonder if she is boyfriend problems again. Actually she is worried she is going to be real busy this afternoon. Her friends believe this means the CEO is counting on her and this gives her motivation. She manages to finish her work before midnight and catch the last train in time. As she browses through her Smartphone, suddenly she is transported to Quizun. Not again. However she isn’t alone and all the other passengers are also there. But since they aren’t the chosen ones, they are like lifeless zombies murmuring some word. So people who can’t use their talents in Quizun become part of the puzzle? With Hacchin appearing, looks like Tokine knows the drill. Luckily this time he gives her a proper signal to start for the time limit. Tokine looks at the diagram with lines and numbers she is supposed to connect in order.

Episode 4
Tokine notices the people are murmuring names of the train stations. She thought of connecting their physical attributes to make a human centipede but thankfully that’s not right. Her first step in guessing right is that the colours of the stations are linked to the panels. Taking the letters from the train stations, it spells out Tamagama. Wrong answer. With time running out, Tokine realizes she needs to connect them in the order of the stations and this time she spells it out correctly, Magatama. Another big Q-Stone from her. Gochisousama. She is returned to the train and is embarrassed when she realizes everybody is staring at her. Back home, she gets a message from Yoshie that she is moving next Saturday. Tokine is happy since she is moving closer to her and they can go drinking together more often.

Episode 5
Tokine and Kyouka meet up with Yoshie at her new place. It is still empty as they’re waiting for the delivery company to send the furniture and stuffs. Yoshie tells her boyfriend bought her this place because she wanted to be closer where she works. But because he is always busy, he is only home half the week. Her friends feel lonely on her behalf. When the delivery company is here, the girls are awed with the handsome and muscular Shinoharada. He has a couple of cute helpers too. While everyone is downstairs doing things, Tokine is alone in the room. When the helpers come in and she opens the window, she’s back in Quizun. She has always wanted to ask Hacchin this as he confirms that emotions from people with potential would trigger her to enter this world. So cut off all emotions if she doesn’t want to experience this anymore? She’d rather die than be a zombie. Tokine puts on her thinking cap to solve this quick as she got those helpers dragged into this world.

Episode 6
Noticing blocks of animals, she thought of spelling out their names but it doesn’t fit. If she’s spelling them in Japanese. They do in English. With the first step done, she now notices a cardinal direction with each direction representing a different colour. The blocks also have different colours in them. Since the helpers are murmuring north and south, she figures leaving behind blocks that represent the north and south colour and blocks in between them. At first the word didn’t make sense but then she realizes the answer is ‘cube’. There’s an explanation about how she arrives at this but I didn’t get it because I’m dumb. Because the final answer to derive that felt like random. Tokine is returned to the room and the moving went smoothly. Yoshie treats her friends to Korean BBQ. The girls talk about the upcoming company trip to Minakami Hotsprings. Kyouka freaked out at first because that’s the name of the hotspring her family runs.

Episode 7
The company trip is proceeding well. Everybody has fun. But the draw of this company trip is off course the hotsprings. The girls talk about the various and different hotsprings in the area (18 areas of them and they are all named after dragons). When they retire to their inn, they meet Kyouka’s little sister, Kyouko who isn’t too happy that big sister hasn’t come home for quite a while. After Kyouka introduces her to her colleagues, Kyouko introduces them to her friends, Hinata Takaragawa and Mamori Sonazawa. Because Tokine gets a call from the boss, she will join them later. Once done, Tokine can’t contain her excitement to dip in. But as she switches off the lights in the changing room, oh dear it’s back to Quizun. This time Hacchin is riding a dragon that attacks her! WTF?! I guess the pig must be tired of her past insults?

Episode 8
Hacchin is ignoring her more than usual and tells her to get solving! Tokine notices a pentagram with coloured lines as well as English alphabets. She also notices the 3 balls behind the dragon changing colour as it changes its speech pattern. First, she finds a pattern in its speech to having something in common. Translate into English words, they have ‘~ight’ in common. The correct word corresponds to the coloured balls with the coloured lines on the pentagram. At first she thought the answer was “Right” but it’s wrong! Oh, the irony. Then she notices the colours on the towel of the other girls’ which is supposed to correspond with the colours in the hexagram. Only one of them has the right combination so the correct answer is “Light”. With the puzzle solved, Hacchin quickly takes her Q-Stone and leaves. Not even a word to explain why he needs the stones. Yeah, it’s like he’s stealing it, huh? So Tokine screws all that and returns to enjoy the hotspring. One of her colleague has extra tickets to a pro-wrestling event nearby and since Tokine is a fan, I guess they’re going.

Episode 9
The girls enjoy the wrestling match as Kyouko mentions she will be visiting her sister next week. After visiting her new apartment, they head out to go watch a monster movie, Vajra Resurgence. As they enter the hall, the girls noticed a familiar face in the front seats, Natsuko Yanagisawa. They remember seeing her on the company trip and recalls she is a former cabaret girl who used her connections to get a job in the company. Because the man next to her seems familiar too (probably a board member of the company), the girls aren’t too please ‘witnessing’ a scandal. But they’re not going to let this distract and ruin their movie. Before the movie starts, a reminder to tell them to switch off their handphones. The moment Tokine does so, damn it’s back to Quizun. This time the entire audience are transported. Too many people so her guilt amplifies? However one of the audiences is able to move on her own: Natsuko. She even says hi!

Episode 10
Why is Tokine agitated that Natsuko knows her name? Don’t they work in the same company? When Hacchin appears, he recognizes Natsuko as she too is another chosen one who solved riddles. However Hacchin reveals her true name as Tokuyo Nazo and this makes Tokine laugh her ass off because it sounds like ‘solving a mystery’. This time Tokuyo is the one who is most agitated each time Tokine calls her that. They say 2 heads are better than one so the duo cooperate to solve this. They notice a time schedule for movies as well as the screen containing weird numbers, pictures and other information. First they draw the clues from the clapperboard. Its lines connect the numbers on the screen. They match it with the time on the movie schedule. Then they take the key words in those movie names which lead them to solve a word hidden on the screen (spoilers: “Cross”). Hacchin is pleased to get 2 Q-Stones for the price of one. When they return to the cinema, the girls witness the board guy freaking out that some fish got in his clothes?! Huh?! Is that some sexual innuendo there?

Episode 11
So the movie has this monster who is going to fight a vegetable family transforming into a mecha?! And they love this great move?! So great that this is Tokine’s fifth time?! Next day at work, the girls plan to visit the annual lighting display at Showa Memorial Park. Tokine jokes she used to come here with her family and boyfriend. Did she already break up with her boyfriend? Yeah, she is already over him… The show is hosted by Ein Hinosaku whom the girls recognize as the heroine of some tokusatsu movie. She is also a model and singer. Yoshie gets upset realizing this is the woman her boyfriend admires. Well, work hard to be like her then. The show begins and as Tokine gets excited to take photos with her handphone, f*ck this Quizun world again! This time a record number of people sucked in. The entire park! The puzzle comes in 2 panels, a big and small one with words, alphabets and numbers. Notice how the people are murmuring key words of events in past episodes?

Episode 12
Tokine realizes the words in a panel relates to answers in her previous quizzes. Once she is able to decipher that, she moves on to the next panel. Separating it via coded colours and turning it into a cube, following its outline reveals to be alphanumeric code. So by placing those codes as location on the panel, it spells out “Illumination”. But she is short of an answer as Hacchin reminds her it can be found at the bottom of the hotspring. A series of complex connections, Tokine is able to answer “Have a nice day”. As reward, Hacchin tells her about Q-Stone. As it consists of humans’ intellectual ecstasy, it builds up and has nowhere to go on Earth. Hence Quizun is somewhat manmade, another dimension for this energy to go. Then Quizun circulates that power and turns into different types of energy and sends it back to Earth and has different effects on people like good luck, purification and healing. Before Hacchin leaves, he tells her there will be a change in her soon. Next morning when she wakes up, she finds the sky like Quizun and Hacchin is beside her! Has the world merged or has Tokine become a quiz master like Hacchin?! Is this his present to her after all her effort in puzzle solving?!

Jeopardy! Spot Quiz!
Damn it was bad. The puzzles are hard to follow and the non-existing storyline just makes it worse. This makes puzzle anime series like Ryuugajou Nanana No Maizoukin and that Phi Brain series (which I didn’t watch) to be even better or even animes about people being sucked into another game world and stuck there such as Sword Art Online and Log Horizon to be way better than this crap. It was already as confusing as hell (the puzzles) and with that kind of ending, I don’t really even get it. Is it some sort of open ending up to viewers’ interpretation? Is that our puzzle for us? Oh heck. I don’t feel like solving it ever.

Although the puzzle seems simple enough, it was so simple that I couldn’t even solve a single one! Yeah… Most probably I am going to blame the short time duration for the puzzle solving because you know when a puzzle is time based, chances are there is going to be lots of pressure for you to come up with an answer. I don’t know. Maybe the Japanese’s minds and thinking are much different than their different counterparts. That is why they are able to come up with the most creative puzzles like the world renowned Sudoku. Not to say that the puzzles presented here are very Japanese cultural oriented either. So it may look simple to puzzle veterans but to non-Japanese, they are still a big mystery and when the answer is explained, you just feel dumb that you didn’t guess or look at it that way. Of course with Tokine as smart as her pretty looks and could make the right answer after a couple of guesses. Yeah, so accurate and right like as though she is reading out from the script. Uh huh. Time over. Time to solve this answer. Here, read this answer out.

If you really love simple puzzles that I suppose stimulate your mind albeit a little, be glad to know that there are more of such puzzles in the ending credits. I believe the answers are posted on the company’s website but I’m too lazy to check it out because I am already too lazy myself to try and answer them. Yeah, this time I am blaming that I couldn’t understand what the question is asking despite I can read the very simple hiragana and kanji on screen. An excuse not to crack my brains and start thinking to redeem myself that I would at least be able to solve 1 stinking puzzle in this anime. I decided to take the easy way out by not even trying so that I can have more negative points to write on this anime. Holy sh*t! I’m just a pure evil scumbag! At least my personality is easy to guess.

So while the puzzles are supposed to be the main draw, it feels really weird that Tokine has to be the unlucky one to be in the area to be sucked in to Quizun and solve it. It sounds as though she is the only smart person around. Yeah… Also, with Hacchin always being her host in Quizun, it feels like he is constantly bugging and harassing her to solve them. Fail and you strip naked and be my sex slave wife! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oops… Really. It feels more like a poor excuse for them to enter another dimension to solve puzzles for another lame excuse to get this Q-Stone. Although the Q-Stone’s purpose is explained, but Hacchin doesn’t tell us why the heck he needs to take it? I mean, he did say that energy from the human world flows here and then flows back there again. Is it all natural or does Hacchin help in the processing? All too vague. That is why sometimes I feel that the only reason for making Tokine solve a puzzle and materialize her Q-Stone is to add another layer of fanservice in addition to her humongous boobs and see her orgasmic face. Yeah…

To show that Tokine has some sort of personality instead of some fanservice personification to solve puzzles, they give her traits like being concerned when other people get sucked into Quizun. Yeah, if she fails, everyone gets stuck and it’s her fault! Something to really worry about. Sometimes she doesn’t solve a puzzle at first go. This is to show us she is not perfect but usually gets it on the second try. All this sure gives Tokine some character but it doesn’t impact on anything important.

Instead of racking my heads to think of the answer to the puzzles, I am far more interested in forming my own conspiracy theories. Like how Hacchin may just be a poker face avatar for some perverted stalker in another dimension, taking her Q-Stones for his wanking material! Same case for Natsuko because she too has the same potential and probably vital statistics as Tokine. What better way to get more wanking material with 2 beautiful babes for the price of one. I mean, why the heck introduce another character who isn’t related nor we shall care? Is it because watching Tokine solving the puzzle alone has become boring and we need another beautiful babe to help her out? And thus the only reasons why such busty babes have high intelligence is because those brains are store in the boobs! That’s right. So for all you jealous flat chests out there who keep arguing that those are just fats, not in this anime because I’m thinking that is where the additional brain cells are stored! Oh yeah! Viva boobs!

Other characters like Tokine’s friends don’t really matter because I thought if Natsuko can show that another person other than Tokine can enter Quizun, maybe her friends would join her and they solve one big puzzle together to end it with a bang? Didn’t happen. Looks like everybody in this world except Tokine and Natsuko are just dumb asses. Yeah, when they become part of the puzzle in Quizun, they look and sound like zombie retards or a broken tape recorder. Seriously.

As mentioned earlier, the beautiful busty babes are the one that drew me into watching this crap. Well, if there was something that looks good, the girls here do. At least they provide eye candy and my brain to go numb instead of trying to rack them. Get the pun? Rack my brains and those busty racks? Hahaha! Sorry. Other than that, everything else in the artwork looks pretty mediocre and Hacchin feels like a lazily thought up design concept or one that has been rejected. Uh huh. This pig/rabbit doesn’t even have a decent mouth or any facial expressions and if this saves animation work, yeah well, I’m sure it did. And Quizun as an alternate dimension filled with nothing but empty space and the most some coloured squares or cubes so that not much effort can be put in the background. After all, we’ll be too focused on the puzzles, right? Or Tokine’s twin peaks… This series is animated by Tengu Kobo and this is their debut and so far only anime.

At least in addition to nice looking girls, the opening and ending themes aren’t too bad either. Dimension Sky by Yuzu Fujisaki as the opener feels more like some sort of techno dance song with the heavy bass beat throughout the song. Destiny by Aki as the ending song sounds more like a generic pop music. I noticed something about the opening animation credits. I believe it is to fit the length of the episode proper so sometimes that opener can have different lengths from the usual 1.5 minutes to only a single minute or just 30 seconds.

Overall, if you want to really boost your mind power or do some mind training, this anime is not the answer. In fact it should be categorize into the ecchi category for obvious reasons. This is the only reason why you watch this anime and then be disappointed in the end. The puzzles feel second rate and something that non-Japanese or people who are not used to puzzles will quite understand. It is better off for you to do traditional puzzles like Sudoku instead. And yeah, there are better ecchi series out there. So it goes to show that puzzle genres do not mix well with ecchi because it just complicates things and your senses as well. You wanna fap to a good time but your brain starts to hurt… How difficult it is to understand that we just want to see some boobs and pantsu???!!! It’s not that hard, right???!!!

Keijo

April 16, 2017

Just when you think they can’t get anymore ‘creative’ with fanservice sports, then they come up with this ridiculous idea of a fictitious female-only sports whereby you use your butts (and sometimes boobs) to hit your opponent out of the ring!!! OMFG!!! It’s definitely targeting a certain (loser and horny) demographic here. But (pun intended) I suppose that if you love butts and boobs and a sleazy excuse to watch girls battling out in their swimsuits for a big part of the series, then Keijo is your answer. If that doesn’t ring any alarm bells, the original title has multiple exclamation marks to it! More exclamation marks for more hype! I think. I’m excluding it because I lost counting how many freaking exclamation marks there are. It’s like also a warning and a sign of what to expect of this show, right? But that’s enough talking. Sit your butt down and let the butts do the talking.

Episode 1
The sport of Keijo is definitely big business because it is big money if you are the champion. Yeah, the money is just short of being as good as doing porn. Haha! Nozomi Kaminashi dreams of becoming such player and she manages to get her wish to enrol at Setouchi Keijo Training School along with fellow classmate, Sayaka Miyata. Nozomi is excited to speak to reporters but they are more interested in covering Miyata since her father was a famous judo master so it definitely brings up news when his daughter left the sport for this one. When a rookie reporter tries to cover Nozomi, he is chastised by his senior that they should cover promising ones. And she thought Nozomi was promising. But they are stumped some of the best Keijo players interact with Nozomi. Like Hanabi Kawai who comes from the same school as Nozomi as well as the top ranked Keijo player, Mio Kusakai. Flashback reveals Nozomi and the rest were in a mock test to determine the rankings for the elite. Because when you’re in the elite class you get special treatment such as 50% discounts in your tuition fees. Wow. So you bet Nozomi wants to rise to the top quickly. The mock match begins with players teaming up against Miyata since they are wary of her judo skills but of course they are no match for her. Nozomi can also stand her ground but others soon gang up on her. That is when Kawai joins in the fun. She knocks out everyone with her swift butt swing. That is her butt doesn’t even touch her opponents! Soon it becomes a heated battle between Nozomi and Kawai using all sorts of their personal butt attacks. It even descended into a boob fight. In the end, Kawai wins when Nozomi receives a direct hit on her jaw. Nozomi and Miyata failed to become elites like Kawai but at least their spirit is still strong. Nozomi asks why Miyata left judo. So wearing a cute swimsuit is her answer? Couldn’t she do that in her spare time? Back to the present, Nozomi and Miyata have the bad luck to settle in room 309 which is rumoured to house failures who cannot keep up with lessons. Other roommates are the clumsy Non Toyoguchi and the unsociable Kazane Aoba. Chaos ensues when Nozomi tries to talk to Kazane but accidentally rips the magazine she is reading. And Non is just being clumsy wrecking everything. Miyata is having a headache as we speak… She can tell where this is going.

Episode 2
Hitomi Hokuto is the instructor for the Keijo trainees. If you think swaying their butts as core practice is weird, wait till you see the butt walk. Then there’s the theory part handled by Miku Kobayakawa and there is science behind Ass-trology and Boob-logy. I kid you not. I guess this is kinda boring so Nozomi is jealous the elites already have practical training unlike the regulars still stuck at core training. The next training has passing the beach ball using their butt without touching the ground. You think it might look easy but with Non’s weird inaudible accent, Kazane’s inability to speak up and Miyata just plain sucks in giving correct directions, the team fails and ending up in last place has them earn more butt exercise. So they did a little soul searching about themselves and the need to work as a team despite Keijo is a solo sport. So while training for the next test, Miyata notices something and should let Kazane give the team instructions since she could judge where the ball lands via the wind. Since Kazane is still shy, Nozomi does the honours. During the test, all goes well with Nozomi taking the lead. But Kazane eventually opens her mouth for the decisive coordinates that allows their team to take top spot this time and earn them the gelato prize. It is revealed Kazane’s shy nature is because when Nozomi mocked Non’s accent, Kazane got scared and thus decided to hide her Hiroshima accent. So it is basically Nozomi’s fault. Nozomi is thrilled they are finally going to have practical training. We see Miyata ‘examining’ Nozomi’s stern butt and Nozomi trying to hound Kazane about her D-cup boobs. For this training, each team will fight a teacher. Room 309 gang will face Nagisa Ujibe. She might look like a fat seal but in her heydays, she was the slim slender sexy champion nicknamed Siren! Wow. She really let go, huh? Of course Ujibe is no pushover and she can move as agile as before. When Nozomi tries to nail her finishing move on her, it seems some force rips her other teammates’ swimsuit! Ujibe identifies this as Vacuum Butt Cannon.

Episode 3
After that butt cannon, Nozomi feels pain. Her hips are strained and she has to be taken away. But after some healing and massaging, she feels better. We learn more about the 3 fighter types that Keijo players are classified. Like infighter who uses close range and brute butt strength to push off the opponent. The outfighter uses speed to strike while the counter utilizes their opponent’s attacks and strengths against them. Nozomi is also visited by Kawai and Kusakai who heard her condition and Nozomi is pretty confident she can master this move to become the champion. Elite Rin Rokudou as the fastest outfighter in western Japan, thinks Nozomi is too good for the regular class. She is so fast that you couldn’t see how many times she attacks. So fast that her massaging of Non’s boobs made her go into ecstasy. Rin offers Nozomi to train with her instead of her weak teammates. Of course they don’t take likely over that mocking. Rin reminds them there is an event where all the class will take part in soon. Nozomi is called by Ujibe about her butt cannon. She is forbidding her to use it again. Despite being powerful, it has risks. Although some using it have become champion, they hurt their hips and retired early. Thus why many avoid using this technique. Nozomi is adamant and stubborn she wants to become better so to see her resolve, Ujibe makes her wear this lame looking suit, UTM (Ujibe’s Training Mail). Stiff as hell. Nozomi perseveres the hardship in doing everything wearing UTM till she can walk normally and flexibly again. For the class change race, regulars are given a chance to advance to the elite class. A race is divided into 4 competitors and there is at least an elite in every race. Miyata is in the first race which also has Rin. When it begins, Miyata quickly targets Rin first.

Episode 4
Because the platform is a see-saw type, the gravity is imbalance and before you know it, the other 2 unimportant opponents drop out. All that’s left is an epic butt battle between Miyata and Rin. But, seriously. Miyata tries to feign her off balance to catch Rin off guard but Rin is fast enough to recover. Then it becomes some high speed butt gatling battle. I’m seeing after images of butts! Despite the same speed and reflex, Miyata is on the verge of losing out because Rin has better lung capacity. Just before she can hand in (or butt in) the finishing blow, Miyata pulls up her swimsuit to wedge it between her butt. Her butt is glowing! WTF?! It makes her go faster?! Her butt is like an afterburner?! WTF???!!! There’s some explanation about pressure and speed but I don’t care about it. I just wanna see the butts :-). Rin is pissed off as this threatens her title as the fastest outfighter but it is no use as Miyata butts her off and wins the race. Both show great sportsmanship by congratulating each other. But the painful aftermath is that Miyata’s butt is now cramped up and requires Kazane’s massaging to ease the pain. Yikes. Non is up for the next match. You think she won’t stand her chance because all her opponents are giant Amazon women! The butt of elite Atsuko Yoshida is so hard like a rock that it literally bounces off any attack! That’s what happened to the other opponents. Out they go. You think Non is screwed, right? Well, as Yoshida attacks, their butts collide. But Non’s is so soft and bouncy that it bounces Yoshida’s away! Non wins it! WTF???!!! The third match is for Kazane and she has to deal with Kusakai. At first it might seem brave of Kazane to attack Kusakai upfront but soon the other opponents gang up to take her down. It seems with Kazane running a massage service, she manages to get data of everyone just by touching their butts! WTF???!!! Really. WTF?????????!!!!!!!!! So with Kazane knowing Kusakai’s techniques and telling to the rest, of course they want to take down the strongest first. But when they corner Kusakai, she then starts swaying her boobs. It hypnotizes them! OMFG! On a side note, you don’t even need such special ability to hypnotize men with those big tits. Kusakai easily pushes her opponents into the water. There goes room 309’s winning streak. Next up is Nozomi and she has elite Kotone Fujisaki as company.

Episode 5
Nozomi thought of being friendly with Fujisaki. By listening to the music she is enjoying? Well, it’s more like some BL drama. Yikes! Kawai reveals Fujisaki is a thoroughbred. Her mom was the Keijo champion and her sister is in the pro league. When the battle starts, it seems she doesn’t even have to face her opponent as her butt does all the attacking. It’s like it has a mind of its own! Cerberus that’s what her butt is called. Yeah, the butt is chasing you!!! And her butt crack is like a dog’s teeth biting you!!! I’m not kidding! Oh, the reason she looks the other way is because she doesn’t want her opponents to see her fantasizing face when she fantasizes about BL. Yeah, she’s that good. So eventually it comes down to Nozomi alone against Fujisaki. Nozomi thought she had her butt under control by vibrating her butt since Fujisaki is sensitive down there. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, that means Fujisaki can detect minor vibrations with her soles (the down there) and that is why she can sense where you are without looking. Nozomi is starting to look pretty annoying as she is able to dodge all of Fujisaki’s attacks and she can’t predict her movements. Eventually Nozomi uses her trump card. Yeah, it’s that Vacuum Butt Cannon. Cannon versus wolf. Is this match going to turn Super Saiyan? Eventually, the wolf gets blown to bits. Because some theory about centrifugal force via multiple rotation beats a move that only uses the platform. Whatever. Nozomi wins. Fujisaki thought she could find solace in listening to her BL. But this doesn’t excite her anymore. The match with Nozomi does. Oh dear. Is she turning lesbian? Nozomi is called by Ujibe and she fears her butt will be punished. But she takes measurements and notices how strong her butt has become. She allows her to use the technique as long as she doesn’t risk her life or career. Kazane is talking like she is going to quit as she is the only one among room 309 who lost. She gives her data she collected from other players. But they bring her to the notice board. It seems all of them got promoted to elites. Yay! She can stay. Despite her lost, Ujibe was amazed with her performance. Even more so, Kusakai used her forbidden technique and has been punished for it. Of course, Ujibe believes the quartet can grow further when they’re together.

Episode 6
The trainees head to Kyoto for a special training camp. Before hellish training begins, they are allowed to have fun first. Miyata has suggestions but Kusakai’s group is always louder with theirs so Miyata has to meekly tour herself. Of course that wouldn’t be right so Nozomi and the rest eventually go with her. They also get a chance to call home via pay phone. Nozomi seems to be taking an awful long time. Miyata calls home. Her mom picks up but dad isn’t willing to speak to her. While doing jogging, an old local lady runs faster than them. Not to be outdone by her, Kusakai, Rin and Nozomi try to match her speed but eventually lose out. This ‘old lady’ turns out to be the best Keijo player of Kyoto, Kyouko Shirayuki and she is roped in to help train the elites. She shows how superb her butt skills are. When Non accidentally trips and lets loose lumbers, Shirayuki uses her butt to push them all away! The elites will be trained via their respective category. As Nozomi is an infighter along with Kusakai, Kawai and Yoshida, they get Shirayuki. She might be strict with their petty flaws but is a pretty nice lady because she fixes up for them. In order to get to know them better, Shirayuki will have them fight a Keijo match one on one. This is to see and analyse their skills. Nozomi is up first and no matter what tricks she pull, Shirayuki dodges with ease and without effort. She is reading her like a book and toying her around. Eventually Nozomi is blown away with her butt technique called Anal Probe Missile! I kid you not this name!!! Shirayuki can tell Nozomi that her body has a serious weakness and is lacking something. Of course she must realize that herself otherwise she can forget touching her butt (in competitive sense) or become a pro butt banger. Why looking so shock Nozomi? Thought UTM did all the trick, did you?

Episode 7
Suddenly Nozomi starts stripping herself in front of Miyata to ask if there is anything wrong with every inch of her body! She’s worse than a flasher. After properly explaining, it is suggested she observe Shirayuki and match her moves like her. The other students now wear UTM as their training gear but this upgraded version is less taxing, making Nozomi heartbroken with all the pain she had to go through. While doing some water wading training, Nozomi realizes her attack power in the boobs is not that strong due to her butt becoming thick from UTM’s muscle training. She thought of continuing doing that training but Shirayuki advises it won’t work with pros as it is too obvious and to make full use of Vacuum Butt Cannon, she must push it to its limits. Thus a special training for her to pull out turnips with her butt. Yes. Pull out turnips with her butts. As expected, being a beginner means she only manages to pull out its leaves. Better learn fast because they have to buy up all the broken turnips. Mmm… I know what they’re having for the next meal and the next… Nozomi is frustrated that she can’t get it right. I think we can feed an army with all the broken turnips. At this rate she might harvest the entire field for free. Nozomi finds out that Shirayuki has her own busy schedule and promise to keep up. It makes her feel bad she was just thinking about herself. But that motivation still isn’t enough to make any progress. Even more frustrating when Kusakai joins in and successfully does it on her first try. Then inspiration hits her. Noticing the momentum on the cart containing turnips she is pulling, some complex butt thinking has Nozomi finally succeed. Still, more turnips to eat. There is this East-West War coming up. Aside Setouchi, the only other Keijo training school is Suruga. At this time, both sides compete to see who is better. Tomorrow will be the last training day so they are given a free choice to fight anybody in a mock race to see how much they have improved. It looks like Usagi Tsukishita has some sort of grudge on Nozomi and challenges her.

Episode 8
In short, Tsukishita admires Kusakai like a goddess. So this challenge is out of jealousy? We see the duo trading butt shots and Tsukishita seems to have the advantage due to her petite frame. Till Nozomi slams her Meteor Hip and takes the win. Tsukishita now becomes Nozomi’s friends although she still won’t lose out if it ever involves Kusakai. The Setouchi girls head to Shizuoka, the base of Suruga and where the East-West War will be held. Of course with better facilities and equipment, they are doing better training. Nozomi and co hear the Suruga’s teacher talking to the reporters. Not only she mentions Setouchi has never won against Suruga, it was okay if she badmouthed the students but they won’t let it slide when she badmouths their teachers. Nozomi wants to give her a piece of her mind but Maya Sakashiro stops her (with her butt of course). Wow. She bums her away with her blaster butt???!!! Nozomi also did some clothes damage to her. It was going to be an all-out war between both sides but the Setouchi teachers stop their students and have all them apologize for the ruckus. I mean, what good will it do if they prove their point this way, right? Later, the rules of the race is explained. It is a team battle with 4 members to a group. Best out of 3. Team 1 consists of Kusakai, Fujisaki, Miyata and Mari Murata. Team 2 will have Yoshida, Tsukishita, Kazane and Non. Finally, Team 3 includes Rin, Kawai, Nozomi and Saya Kogatana. Match day is here and the first teams go down to the battlefield. Suruga’s first fielding team consists of Saki Hanayama, twins Akari and Kano Fuyuzora and Nami Nanase (I kid you not her nickname is Ass Eater!!!). There’s some b*tch showdown between Miyata and Nanase since the latter mocked the former for running away from judo. But Miyata hits back because Nanase is an idol. An idol in this kind of sports? Time to settle all grudges in this jungle gym layout.

Episode 9
I’m sure Miyata is tired about remembering about her flashback regarding her father who disagreed letting her leave judo for Keijo. And sure she doesn’t need Nanase mocking her about it. All the time. When the match starts, Miyata dashes towards Nanase. She is a bit rash and Fujisaki manages to save her ass with her ass. I’m not kidding! The twins then lock and trap Murata with their dazzling butt to send this unknown as the first one out. The Setouchi trio then regroup and combine their might to bring down Hanayama. Miyata’s butt starts flashing because she uses it to accelerate. However it takes a toll on her body and her legs are temporary paralyzed. Fujisaki fights on her behalf but her wolf butt isn’t enough to save the day. Although she didn’t fall into the water, if your other body parts touch the stage, you are disqualified. This is what happened after Fujisaki gets exhausted from Nanase’s relentless attack. With Fujisaki’s emotional ‘handover’, I guess it serves as great motivation for Miyata to revive and attack. More flashing butt attacks? Too fast for Nanase to handle. But then her legs start to paralyze again and now it is Nanase’s turn to return the favour. After all that butt relentless smacking, I suppose what irked Miyata was how she once again spammed about their different Keijo leagues and she running away from judo. For the umpteenth time… This next move is really mind blowing. Miyata fondles her own boobs to erect her nipples. It’s flashing! OMG! Flashing tits! Then somehow she uses it to get Nanase’s swimsuit caught in it before using her judo technique to overthrow that b*tch. So you see, she didn’t forget judo. Oh, Kusakai has been smacking the twins into ecstasy with her butt till they drop out. So it is an upset victory for Setouchi! With everyone cheering for Setouchi, the best one would be Miyata’s parents giving her the thumbs up. Yeah, and dad was freaking confused seeing the different butt techniques but after seeing everybody supporting his daughter, he accepts that this is where she belongs. Can we stop airing footage of Miyata grabbing her tits and ass? It’s starting to look like porn…

Episode 10
We’re worried about Setouchi’s second team. Kazane is having nervous stomach cramps, Non wears her dress backwards and Tsukishita is fawning over Kusakai like a teenage girl madly in love. And they’ve got the fairy butt Ayase Kurogiri, the flaming butt Kei Higuchi, the dancing butt Mai Itoeda and the uhm, Black Beast Sanae Hououin to deal with. When the match on the twin aircrafts begin, it looked like Suruga side is trying to separate the Setouchi team to prevent them from doing their teamwork. However this is part of Kazane’s plan as they lure their counterparts to certain points and when given the signal, Setouchi jumps and causes imbalance like a see-saw. This causes Higuchi and Itoeda to fall off. Setouchi should think again if they are supreme with numbers. Because Hououin’s strength in her butt can easily push off Yoshida! Kazane’s plan now is for Non and Tsukishita t take on Kurogiri while she herself will fight Hououin. Don’t look down on Kazane. Because it seems she can imitate the butt techniques of her other comrades! Flashback reveals that her hand scanner allow her this ability. Because all her comrades want to help her out, they let her touch their butt! OMG. This scene with the girls lining up and putting out their butt to touch feels like porn!!! Heck, Kazane even has got this Archer’s Noble Phantasm move of Gate of Babylon. Gate of Bootylon!!! However Hououin counters by twisting her nipples which in turn becomes powerful drills! WTF?! Before Kazane is done for, Non jumps in to help. It seems Kurogiri has been made to run around and now her fairy butt has tire out and turned into some ordinary flabby butt. Huh?! In a last ditch attempt, Tsukishita sacrifices herself to take out Kurogiri. Kazane and Non’s butt are able to repel Hououin’s boob drills. But Hououin targets Non and she is sent flying into the water. In the final showdown where the both girls clash their boobs, both get blown off and fall into the water simultaneously. Is this a draw? Playback footage might reveal that Hououin touched the water first but because of her drilling boobs, the air pressure pushed away the surface of the water! OMFG!!! Thus Suruga wins and ties the score in this close fight.

Episode 11
Non and Kazane are sad, blaming themselves for the loss. Of course they have to be comforted and assured how they’ve given Suruga a run for their money, etc. In this third and final match on a floating castle, Suruga’s side will have Tae Yokosugi (giant fatty), Midori Morimoto (fluffy hair), Hikari Muromachi (Phantom of the Opera mask) and of course Maya. As it begins, Nozomi and Maya immediately clash butts hard. Then Nozomi puts her face in Maya’s butt just to analyse her butt power! WTF?! It’s ironic that the girls are playing such perverted game and Maya calling her a pervert? She beats up her opponents with shameless butt techniques but flusters like hell when one’s face is planted in her ass? Funny… We take a detour from their fight to see Rin and Kawai teaming up against Morimoto and Muromachi. Muromachi can flash her boobs to blind her opponents! Really! Rin knows the trick behind this flashing. As she uses the sun to reflect the oil on her boobs, Rin throws up her bikini top to cover the sun and then beat her up enough to remove the oil and seal her move. Too much boobs flashing already! Then Morimoto and Muromachi combine by wearing the same swimsuit to fight! Hey, 2 butts are better than one! If you’ve forgotten all about Yokosugi and Kogatana, here they come interrupting the match. They thought this unknown is easy meet so they separate as Morimoto falls to her samurai swing boobs and falls into the water while Muromachi gets taken out by Rin and Kawai’s double effort. Hey. Muromachi has got cards spewing out from her butt???!!! WTF???!!! Back to Nozomi-Maya match. The hard hitting butt match continues with Maya having flashbacks how everyone ostracized her because her butt breaks things. Really. Then her Keijo coach saw potential in her and took her in. Maya is in fear of losing that respect and place of belonging so before Nozomi can deliver the decisive Vacuum Butt Cannon, it’s like something inside Maya activates. Woah! She’s like a different person now! Literally, it’s like her dark alter ego just taken over.

Episode 12
Apparently this alter ego is called Kaya. She is rougher and more ferocious. Yokosugi tries to explain about this split personality. Maya was always abused and whenever she entered this state, Kaya will come out. Kaya didn’t appreciate this and knocks the fatty into the water. Kaya herself is a handful. Even with 4 outnumbering 1, they cannot penetrate her tight defence and offence. So one by one our Setouchi side gets knocked off but not before giving Nozomi some power push. This enables her to fight on par with Kaya. If that fails, Nozomi tries talking to Maya to settle their score. This actually makes her come back and take back her body. In this final epic power pulsating butt clashing tits bashing brawl, eventually Nozomi wins by evolving her Vacuum Butt Cannon, using that rotational energy to propel it to her piercing nipples!!! For the first time in 10 years, Setouchi wins and makes a major upset. Everybody rejoice. I guess it is appropriate to make the pun, “Hip hip hooray”? Maya apologizes to her coach who is also her mom for losing this important match. But to show how everybody values the player always, mom and daughter reconcile and a happy ending for everybody. An after party is held for the Keijo players. Both sides are now good friends and this is how it should be as they should just keep their b*tching rivalry in the arena. Maya is late attending it as she was catching up some sleep to restore her stamina. She expresses her wish to fight Nozomi again. You bet your butt they’ll meet again. The Keijo players graduate and now they have turned pro. They say their goodbyes and take group photos. As each player is assigned to the prefecture they come from, Nozomi and Miyata are in Hyogo prefecture. When they register, instantly their name alerts the other pros (weirdoes) of the same branch.

Rear-Ended & Bummed Out. No But(t)s About It!
Bummer. It’s over. Pun intended. I want to try and explain without making others misunderstand that I enjoyed myself watching this show. Uh huh. Yes, I was laughing at all the silly butt action and moves other than fapping to every juicy butt in-your-face camera angles. But I guess there is no point in trying to convince other ‘purists’ once they realize what this show is just all about. There is no way you can ever justify telling others you enjoy seeing this show without images of boobs and butts popping up in our minds. You’ll always be labelled a pervert anyhow. So screw all that and let’s just wish another season for more butts and boobs galore! I can’t wait to see what kind of butts Nozomi and co will bum(p) into next. Well, if the producers ever get the balls to produce another season.

Can you actually take this series seriously?! With about half the episodes and even more especially during battles you are going to see the girls’ butts literally in your face! You see all those freaking high speed and hip twisting butt attacks and thrusts that they pull are just ridiculously insane. It’s not possible unless you are a gymnast or contortionist. It gives a whole new meaning to the term butt hurt! Seriously! So it was a dilemma to whether call those battle scenes as action or fanservice but it feels kinda like both. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. With all those high level speed of thrusting as well as the energy projection discharged from their asses, you might think that the damage they take would have left some sort of permanent damage. Well, to ordinary people, that is. From sore butts to sagging boobs and damaged pelvic bones, man they’re going to have lots of health problems when they grow old. Worse than arthritis. Thus it makes me wonder if Goku and other Super Saiyans can actually beat all these butt power moves.

So yeah, I was like either laughing all the way or being flabbergasted with my mouth wide open to see such hilarious and impossible butt moves. Yeah, hats off and 100 points to those who really came up with such ‘creative’ and flashy tactics. I never knew butts and boobs can do a whole lot of such moves. Even funnier is how some of them are named. You got to really hand it to them (in the ass). I mean, Butt Flash? And that’s not just flashing your butt for others to see. What about Nipple Ripple Madness! Madness indeed! Then there are butts that seemingly shoot projection or hypnotise you?! And what about parodies of Gate of Babylon and even one parodying Attack On Titan! You can’t make all this sh*t up! And with so many Keijo players and each having at least 1 signature move, you bet your butt there are going to be lots of backside moves to keep perverts happy and others in shock. It is a good thing that there are quite a few varieties of moves involving tits and butts to keep us entertained. Otherwise we’d be even bored and thinking how cheap they are using the same moves for a few characters.

Therefore one of the most amusing things you get to ‘learn’ in this series is the hip word for the episode! I’m not kidding or making this up. Pun intended I suppose. I know they are just making puns of the Keijo players’ moves but sometimes you can’t help smirk at such ‘creative’ terms like K-acceleration Full Purge and Boobs Pressure Points in addition to Boob Hypnosis and Hip Toss. Man, this kind of moves could put those babes from Dead Or Alive to shame! Yeah, those Xtreme Beach Volleyball and Paradise games are nothing compared to this level of fanservice.

And yes, all this amazingly ties in cleverly to the fanservice and thus the real reason why we watch this series. How often do you see in other anime series whereby a female character or a whole lot bunch of them throw their asses to you? With such a butt galore, it won’t be surprise that this might be your new fapping and wanking material. You see the way the girls molest their own boobs and butts as an excuse to power up with ridiculous moves so much so it’s like borderline playing with themselves! It goes to show that you don’t need the classic cliché pantsu shots and boobs shots to do the ecchi trick. We may have already become tired of those. Even we may have sexual innuendoes fatigue. So what better way than to stir up all that horny lust again by shoving it outright in our faces. You can’t go wrong when you have butts and boobs in your anime, right?

Hence it is pretty much obvious with the fanservice as the main stay of the series, there is very much lacking of a plot. The synopsis tells it all about the sport and it is just to supplement the fanservice that they will be spamming. I mean, take a look at this season. The ‘plot’ revolves around battling among themselves and then fighting the other Keijo academy. Heck, you don’t even need to know the plot. Just jump in and enjoy the bootylicious booties. But don’t freak out when you see those asses suddenly having all its muscles contorting or the girls using their boobs like hands to clip and grab. Remember, these are trained Keijo players and to pull off even the most ridiculous behind moves, they have trained their muscles and ass qi whatever to entertain us. Hell, we guys don’t even care. A simple nice ass and boobs are all that is needed to enthral and hypnotise us. Period.

Talking about the game format itself, ass-uming (pun intended again) Keijo is a Japan-only sport (like sumo) so there isn’t going to be international opponents because sure hell the people from the west would have bigger hips and booties to begin with, right? It is pretty odd that as far as I know the Keijo sport is only an individual tournament whereas as I can see if there is a group tournament like the East-West War, it would give a lot of drama and storyline to play out.

We’re so into the butt action that I don’t think we really give a damn about the back stories of the characters. I’m sure each one do but we don’t really care. Most prominent of all would be Miyata’s judo background and family. But that isn’t really much in driving the overall story. Even Nozomi as the supposed main character, we don’t really see or learn her past of why she is so eager to become the best Keijo player. I’m sure there is a lot to it than just her weird accent and energetic lively personality. This means the rest of the characters from Setouchi are so generic that you would probably have a greater chance of identifying them on the butt techniques they pull off rather than their character. I mean, can you tell me more about Kazane and Non themselves rather than their butt scanning hand or super bouncy soft butt respectively? So the rest of the other characters seemingly follow the shonen type of route. Because of the tournament setting of trying to be the best of the best, expect lots of b*thces and b*tching moments too. Then you fight them, then you become friends later. Who cares about all that when you have butts and boobs to ogle at?! Viva butts! Viva boobs! Viva swimsuits! Yeah, at least these girls have such fine asses…

Art and animation wise, nothing out of the ordinary. You’ll be so enthralled looking at those butts and boobs that you won’t notice anything else. Of course they don’t want you to be looking at all the same butts so with a decent variety of colourful character designs coming in all shapes, sizes and accessories (why the f*ck does Muromachi need to even wear a freaking masquerade ball mask?), it gives a little bit more variety. Animated by Xebec who did To Love-Ru series, Triage X, Haiyore! Nyaruko-san, MM!, Ladies Versus Butler, Rio: Rainbow Gate, Kanokon, Softenni and Maken-Ki. Yeah, how kind of me to only list down all the fanservice and perverted anime series they did.

I didn’t give much focus on the voice acting since you know, we’re so focused on the butts. At least I did recognize Ayako Kawasumi as Maya. Not that it matters anyway. So to make this blog not sound it is talking about butts and boobs in every paragraph, I’m obliged to do this. Seriously. The rest of the casts I didn’t recognize are Lynn as Nozomi (Maya in Sabagebu), Mao as Miyata (titular character in Space Patrol Luluco), Kaede Hondo as Kazane (Kukuru in Fushigi Na Somera-chan), Saori Oonishi as Non (Aiz in DanMachi), Hibiku Yamamura as Kusakai (Hibiki in Anne Happy), Shizuka Ishigami as Fujisaki (Renge in Kyoukai No Rinne), Rena Maeda as Kawai (Nike in Soredemo Sekai Wa Utsukushii), Rie Takahashi as Rin (Megumin in Kono Subarashii Sekai Ni Shukufuku Wo), Minami Tanaka as Tsukishita (Agari in Shakunetsu No Takkyuu Musume), Mabuki Andou as Ujibe (Balsa in Seirei No Moribito) and Masamu Asano as Shirayuki (Hakufu in Ikkitousen). There are lots of other casts due to the sheer amount of minor characters but I’m too lazy so I’ll leave them out :-/.

The fast paced rock opening theme, DreamxScramble by Airi gets you into the mood and pace of this series. The ending theme, Fatas/Hip Girlfriends are sung by the main quartet of room 309 (if you still remember this room number that doesn’t make any more significance after the quartet advanced to the next level). Typical generic anime pop. Making the ending credits animation odder is we see this quartet chasing after a swimsuit being blown away in the wind. It’s like God is being a pervert and made it ‘fly’. Yeah, the lengths the girls would have to go through to retrieve it. And as proof that God is really a pervert in this anime, a giant cloud that resembles a voluptuous butt in the sky after the Nozomi gets back her swimsuit. A happy ending for them, a happy ending for us.

Depending on your stance in life, you may or may not like a series filled with only butts and on occasion boobs. In today’s era we live in where political correctness is so overrated, sometimes I feel the producers were bold enough to f*ck all that and go ahead to produce something that ordinary guys would decently (oh, the irony) enjoy. Some may scorn the cheap ass baiting fanservice trick to lure viewers in because might as well go watch full hardcore hentai instead of this softcore porn. Whatever your view on butts, remember each of us has one so there is nothing to be ashamed of. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be stuck with that same bum for the rest of your life. Unless butt liposuction… I just hope all this in the end won’t turn out to become the butt of all jokes because I feel like I can make lots of bum jokes and puns. But that would really be butt hurting.