Cop Craft

January 19, 2020

Time to change the buddy cop formula of anime a little bit. Instead of having 2 male partners in a police force like in Tiger & Bunny as well as Double Decker! Doug & Kirill, why not have a male and a female partner? Yeah, that’s what Cop Craft looks like. Everything else about them is as opposite as day and night. Total opposites. The guy is a seasoned human police officer while the female is a rookie noble alien knight. You can see where the clashes come from due to their cultural differences. Yeah, otherwise a very typical ingredient for a buddy cop genre because it is those differences that makes them clash as well as bond or get along.

Episode 1
As narrated, a hyperspace rift appeared in the middle of the ocean 15 years ago. An influx of alien culture arrived. This also mean an increase in crimes and thus the special police unit of San Teresa was established to deal with this. Kei Matoba and Rick Fury meet their clients to buy a smuggled fairy race. The duo are actually undercover police and right after the deal is made, they bust them. But one of the smugglers turned out to be a Semanian alien. He is much stronger and snaps Rick’s neck and then escapes with the fairy. Kei is left to do the worst, call Rick’s wife and inform the unfortunate. Like any normal dude, he wants to hunt down his partner’s killer but his boss, Jack Roth orders him to go pick up some VIP alien noble tomorrow since he is only one of the few detectives who can speak their language. It’s an order. Kei does so and he is shocked the VIP is a young girl. Tilarna Exedilica (that’s the very short of her very long name) is a Knight of Mirvor and she starts off as a proud brat. Kei isn’t sure her manservant but whatever. Back at HQ, Kei is not happy they are going to be partners especially an alien (that’s racist!). Tilarna’s mission is to retrieve a kidnapped fairy noble. Roth believes this partnership is necessary for all of them and will not change the partnership. Kei might be uncouth but he gets things done compared to some guy who has all the etiquette but ultimately useless. Now we see Tilarna a curious cat. Trying to touch everything (Kei’s warning is so unheeded) and asking lots of (sometimes dumb) questions. Just keep your mouth shut and follow him. Kei goes to see an informant, Bizz O’Neill and it seems the fairy has fallen into the hands of some Mexican. Then as they enter some building, Tilarna could smell danger so she transforms into her knight form and starts barging in. They catch the criminal just fresh from killing somebody. This is not the time for talk so bullets start flying first.

Episode 2
Though the duo get in each other’s way, it is also because of that they saved each other’s lives. Kei’s bullets can’t do much to this walking corpse and only Tilarna’s deep slash finally puts this corpse to eternal slumber. Tilarna can tell this person was already dead but some evil latena turned him into a living corpse (zombie?). As he is controlled by mildey (basically, magic), questioning him won’t do them any good either. Taking the body to Cecil Epps (who is also Kei’s ex), she conducts an autopsy and the only similarity she can find with the one who killed Rick is that they’re both dead before they turned zombie. Tilarna elaborates about the latena of a fairy being ingested regularly and this is the result. So basically that kind of ‘drug’ is called ‘fairy dust’ to us laymen, huh? Kei drops Tilarna at a motel for the night but is kicked out because of their no weapons policy. As a knight she cannot be without her sword. So Kei has to be the gentleman and bring her back to his place instead of letting her sleep in the park. Kei has a pet cat despite having cat allergies. Actually, Kei felt responsible for getting the cat injured as he was chasing a drug dealer. He is keeping it temporarily until someone can adopt it. No luck so far. Dennis Elbaji and Kareem meet to do business. Elbaji introduces him to Zelada who specializes in the dead. Showing him a prototype of a fairy bomb using fairy dust, he called a couple of cops here. Then he throws the bomb at them. Those who look into its light are dead instantly. Now that the cops are corpse (pun no intended), Elbaji has Zelada make them kill each other. As this is just prototype, the real deal will use the fairy’s entire body and the bomb radius can reach 5km and thousands can be controlled. Kareem wants this and will gladly pay for it. After attending Rick’s funeral service, Kei gets a call regarding a couple of missing officers. Their bodies are found dumped into the lake and as a veteran, he can tell they were killed elsewhere. Tilarna looks at the bodies and can detect use of fairy dust. Funny, if officers were using it, it would have been very obvious. They may be using gold which can be used as a catalyst to enhance latena’s power. However the best craftsmen in her world can even make this. So Kei thinks a device was used. Hence he suspects Elbaji because as a Semanian who owns a club and a dummy company, this guy is also interested in some manufacturing device. Tilarna wants him arrested now but Kei knows the red tape protocol as well as rights infringement thingy. Tilarna then excuses herself to the ladies but she is taking too long so Kei realizes she has fled. Oddly, she left her precious sword behind.

Episode 3
Tilarna has O’Neill get her some fake IDs as she enters Elbaji’s club. She is looking for that man himself and with such luck this guy shows up and wants to hit on her. So he brings her to his office and she gets down to business asking him to release the fairy. Since he doesn’t want to part with his ‘product’, negotiations ends, kill her. Tilarna has a hidden sword in her bag and cuts the bodyguards’ arms. Then Elbaji fights her and wins. Huh? A knight lost to this club owner?! There are things he would like to ask her so he won’t kill her yet and brings her to a temple in the middle of nowhere. Kei is already staking outside but since Roth says reinforcements will arrive in 30 minutes, no time to lose. Just be a hero and barge in! Tilarna manages to free herself from those agents. She looks around and stumbles into a room filled with vials of fairy parts. Elbaji shows off his latest fairy bomb and the money he could make from it. They fight once more and Tilarna is on the losing edge. Only if she had her real sword. What luck. Kei is here to throw it to her. With that, it’s like she levelled up and slashes Elbaji. She then realizes this fairy bomb is fake and the fairy is just a doll. The real one is with Zelada and he has made his backdoor escape. They go after him and as they arrest him, Roth pops up and shoots Tilarna! So this guy is in cohorts with Zelada as he lets the wizard escape. He is the one who set everything up from the start including making Tilarna as Kei’s partner just to slow him down as well as killing Rick. Because Rick was close in figuring out his true colours. Roth and Zelada have the same goal. They both hate to see humans and Semanians mix and want separation. Wow. Ross thinks by the third generation, humans will be ‘conquered’ and he fears that. He views himself as a human first than an officer. With Kei rejecting his offer to join him, then it becomes the quickest draw. Of course Kei besting Roth and shooting him in the chest. Guess he doesn’t have to fear about humans being wiped out now, eh? Kei and Tilarna race against time to stop Zelada who is most likely going to release the fairy bomb from the highest building in town. As they reach the top, Tilarna can tell that is the true fairy.

Episode 4
As they try to get the fairy, Zelada rains flames on them. Kei’s back is badly burnt while Tilarna continues to dodge. As Zelada remains hidden, Kei tries to find him via sound. So his hearing is damn good despite all that noise? Whatever. Kei shoots Zelada, enough for Tilarna to slice off his arm. He’d rather kill himself than be killed by her so he jumps off the building. So now what? How to stop the bomb? You mean they’re going to die together? Tilarna is grateful to this fairy because she helped her when she was lost in the woods. But the fairy then uses her life to save Kei. Tilarna has some healing magic but with the fairy’s life and powerful latena, Kei is healed and the city is safe. In the aftermath, they give their statement and testify in court. Then both part ways. Life returns to normal. One night Kei comes home and is shocked to see Tilarna making his place like home. So she changed her mind and decided to become his partner? Because Zelada’s body isn’t technically found and there are lots of crimes going on. Welcome aboard? On a mission to storm some smugglers’ hideout, their new chief, Bill Zimmer calls them out because Tilarna cut off a baddie’s finger. So this is also liable for lawsuit? Inside the storeroom is a coffin and upon opening it, there lies a corpse of a mummy. They take it to Cecil for autopsy but she reminds them she doesn’t specialize in old corpses. Let the archaeologists handle it. But Kei is pushy and wants a report by morning since Zimmer demands one. Because of that, Cecil and Tilarna become friends as they badmouth how much a jerk Kei is. Best part, they agree to take selfies of themselves before Kei’s dissected body after he dies! Tilarna and Kei go to interrogate the smuggler. Nothing like some Semanian beating down another just to get some info out. It seems they stole it from a graveyard in Doras Derill thinking it would be worth lots of money. Tilarna realizes the grave danger Cecil is and rushes back. Speaking of her, she has the misfortune in watching her assistant being devoured by the corpse! It’s alive! Luckily for her, Tilarna returns to fight it. She realizes this being is a vampire.

Episode 5
Tilarna can’t defeat the vampire but Kei can by spraying his fire extinguisher?! The vampire escapes so back at the police station, they receive word a truck driver has become her latest victim and thus Zimmer sends the duo to go investigate. They speak to the witnesses and since they can’t describe her clothes, Tilarna realizes that she has gained enough strength to cast some magic illusion that also serves as clothes. Tilarna traces the vampire holing up in the mall. She deduces after filling up her belly, she probably wants info on this world. They have the SWAT backing them up as they search every inch of the mall. Suddenly the vampire ambushes Kei. He got thrown a few floors down. Thank goodness for that shallow fountain breaking his fall! Kei’s comrades manage to rescue him but by that time Tilarna is missing. She fought and loss and is now a hostage. The vampire won’t kill her as she has things to ask. Learning about Earth, she thinks this world must be some prophecy as told in some ancient book called Niba. The vampire would have sucked her blood had not Kei and the SWAT barge in. How did they find them? Anyway, this vampire chick is so tough just like the last time that no amount of bullets could kill her despite taking heavy damage. They better have a truck load of ammo and never take their finger off the trigger! Of course, she escapes and they try to find her again thoroughly through the mall. Since there are no signs of her, it is deduced she must have escaped via the air ventilation that leads to the subway. In fact, some magic spell is leading her there. She meets this guy who supposedly guided her here. He hopes to serve her since his goal is Niba. However she doesn’t need his help and sucks his blood. Just in time since Kei and Tilarna are hot on her heels. Another round of fighting. Another round of pumping bullets. It gets to the point where they dice dangerously with death. Because vampire chick pins him down on the rail and a train is coming! I don’t know how Tilarna kicks Kei away but the train runs over the vampire and she got shredded to pieces. WTF?! A vampire can die from merely being run over?! What kind of low grade vampire is this?! But good riddance. Tilarna gets upset because Kei won’t thank her so she throws her repeated weak kicks at him.

Episode 6
The usual Kei-Tilarna spat. A runaway truck grazes into Kei’s car. You bet he is going to get some payback! Kei drives like a monster. Tilarna fearing for her life! Eventually Kei causes the truck to overturn. The culprit fled but all the truck’s contents spilled out. Porn magazines. As Kei talks to an officer, Tilarna take the liberty to park away his car. Apparently she didn’t apply the handbrakes so it slides down onto the path of an oncoming truck! There goes his baby! Worse, back at the office, Zimmer is scolding them for acting like cowboys and wrecking things. Kei too is so stressed up, complaining his car was damaged and that his request for a company car for business use fell on deaf ears. Yeah, these guys sure had it tough. In the end, Zimmer agrees to get him a new car but he must handle this porn case. I guess the alien world has no porn so curious Tilarna wants to know more about it. Her reaction is expected. Welcome to the real world! Since nobody is willing to help Kei on this case, I guess the only gay guy in the force got reluctantly dragged in. So Tony McBee goes see O’Neill and looks like they hit up on this young Semanian kid, Gavin. He is trying to sell porn in hopes to make some quick cash so Tony arranges to buy some for him at a designated time and place. Kei is pleased he is got a new sports car baby! Time to take her for a spin. Meanwhile Tilarna tries to learn how to drive with Cecil as her instructor. She is shocked to learn what an ex means. So Kei and Cecil were in that sort of relationship? Tilarna flusters when asked if she likes Kei. It’s not like that… Cecil thinks they look more like siblings. She tells a little secret that Kei had a sister but she died 10 years ago. Maybe that’s why she sees her resemblance in her. With all the police force undercover for this porn sting operation, Tony goes to meet Gavin for the exchange. However some rat pops up to steal the money. When Kei and the police move in, that guy takes Tony hostage and drives off. No time to waste. Tilarna now drives Kei’s car! OMG! After 1 lesson, she’s like a pro?! Driving on the wrong side of the road! Yeah, now it is Kei who is fearing for his life! You haven’t seen anything yet because Tilarna uses the car to crash into the culprit! Man, she really got balls. Miraculously, nobody died. The culprit is arrested. You think Kei wanted to give Tilarna an earful but she yells back at him that she is trying to learn about this world every day. If he doesn’t understand that, who will? So Kei now the bad guy? He apologizes for being a bit harsh. His car? Nothing like a bit of fixing up can do. And then it bursts into flames… Oh Kei, calm down, calm down… And then Tilarna makes her room (which is actually Kei’s place) into her own place. I guess Kei isn’t ‘mad’ about the loss of his car so yeah, everything is okay then!

Episode 7
Tilarna selling her body in a brothel?! Damn, she’s obedient as this guy starts going down on her. But luckily! Kei and the cops barge in. Everyone is arrested in this sting operation. Apparently Tilarna blames Kei for a second too late because that jerk touched her hair. Any later and she’d kill him! Woah! Calm down! As you’ve guessed, that guy is Coal Mozeleemay who is a mayor candidate. Like the politician he is, textbook answer to the press. Tilarna meets with Zoey who was one of the brothel girls and is released on bail. They hang out and become friends. She learns she is a photographer but I guess it was tough to earn a living that way so she sold her body. She claims she is giving up on this dirty job. Kei and the police force are trying to gather evidence to charge Mozeleemay. They have video recordings but apparently that isn’t enough these days. Kei picks up Tilarna and learns about her new friend. He advises her never to meet again since Mozeleemay will be convicted and she could be one of the witnesses to testify. If Zoey realizes Tilarna as a cop, she might feel betrayed. This causes a rift between them since their ideals of justice and the real world differ. Tilarna continues to hang out with Zoey. Then trouble hits the police department. Apparently there is a leak of the brothel’s customer name list. Some are fake, some are real. If Mozeleemay’s name comes up under the fake list, they won’t have a chance to prosecute him. The culprit is of course Zoey as she sold out the data to him. She meets Mozeleemay who pays her even more. Yup, he wants her body too. Halfway eating her out, she shows she is recording him. He gets mad and she lets him delete her recording before he kicks her out of his car. Kei and Tilarna are looking through some camera logs of those in the brothel who has access to the customer list. Other than the owner, the other turned out to be Zoey. Tilarna is shocked so she goes talk to her. Zoey seems disappointed to know she is a cop but before she could say any further, she is sniped. Kei goes after the sniper but unfortunately he dies of his wounds. Tilarna becomes a sad girl after Zoey dies. She is adamant Mozeleemay is behind this even though she has no evidence. But Zoey left a framed photo of Tilarna for her. And her camera too.

Episode 8
Kei and the cops are ready for this raid operation. Unfortunately the target spots them and tries to fly off in the plane. Can anybody seriously stop the plane? Well, Tilarna cuts it up as it crashes into the swamp. I’m amazed it didn’t explode. As Kei gathers all the items, he runs afoul of officer Hellmandes who is from CBP (Customs and Border Protection) who blames him for letting the target get away. Funny, Kei brought back all the items to his home. After he goes to sleep, seems his cat is being naughty with Tilarna. Accidentally it activates and fires a mini crossbow, shooting Tilarna in the arm. Don’t worry. She didn’t die but passes out. Next morning, Kei is shocked Tilarna is trying to get so close with him in bed while his cat is just being noisy and frantic. Because he is late, he thinks Tilarna is sick and goes off to work. At this point, we should realize that Tilarna has switched minds with the cat. Worse, Kei has taken out the garbage in which the crossbow accidentally fell in. Well, that’s not the worst part. The cat in Tilarna trying to take a dump in the kitty litter!!! Can’t unsee this!!! Tilarna the cat texts Cecil about this problem. Cecil doesn’t understand so she calls but only the cat’s purr is heard. Noticing something is wrong, she heads down there. The place is a mess and Tilarna the cat is so glad to see her. Cecil quickly grasp the situation but just before she can go out to look at the dumpster, big kitty jumps over Cecil. Man, I don’t want to think Tilarna is heavy but if that person jumps on you like that, surely you’ll pass out in no time. Kei continues his investigation and gets a stinging call from Hellmandes that 1 of the confiscated items is missing. He goes to see O’Neill but apparently his place had one hell of a party last night. Yup, lots of drunk people passing just about everywhere and a goat?! O’Neill is nowhere to be seen but he could be under this fat momma hooker! Kei has this nasty idea as he mixes some devilish hot sauce cocktail and pours it into her mouth! Sure to wake up! Eh, but isn’t O’Neill crushed further?! By the time Cecil wakes up, the garbage truck has already cleared the dumpster. Time to go after it. Could have been on its tail had not Tilarna the cat bugging Cecil to close the blinds so as not to let the world see big kitty parading her naked ass through the window!!!

Episode 9
Cecil calls the waste disposal company. Normally they don’t entertain but Cecil using her weak blackmail that they might be destroying evidence… By the time they get to the waste disposal centre and the guy doing some search which truck went to their place, just in time that truck just dump all its load into the disposal unit. Tilarna jumps into it to find the crossbow. Kei is already having a tough time trying to get O’Neill name some smuggler (that guy got stretchered in by the paramedics), then Cecil calls Kei and tells what happened since she is at a lost. Kei returns but doesn’t worry too much. Either he trusts his partner a lot or he doesn’t give a damn. Meanwhile Tilarna tries to trace the crossbow and sense its latena. She finds it but it is already heading towards the shredder! She fails to save it and the crossbow is destroyed. She laments her fate when suddenly she wakes up back at him. Hellmandes trying to hurt her real bad and demanding to know where the crossbow is because he wants to sell it for money. With Tilarna back in her own body, she starts kicking Hellmandes’ ass. Now this guy is scared. Oh, have you seen her this mad? Tilarna would have killed him for seeing her naked body but luckily Kei is back. Hellmandes is arrested and Tilarna is mad that Kei is not mad enough that she almost got violated. WTF… Meanwhile poor Cecil thinks Tilarna is a goner… One day Zimmer is having a pool party with his staffs. Then on the news that one of the mayoral candidates, Nathan Kahns got shot. This leaves everyone in shock as Zimmer calls an emergency meeting. The shooter has been identified and he is relatively a clean Semanian guy with no links to the underworld whatsoever. Normally their special division won’t get involved but Zimmer suspects something amiss. Because Zelada’s body was never found, he fears that somebody is using magic to control a corpse to do the killing. This is to stoke a race war since Kahns is a conservative human. Kei and Tilarna return to office just to identify the body. Don’t mind the beachwear. Tilarna can tell a rare form of latena coming out from the dead shooter’s body. As they leave, an officer scoffs at Tilarna. Surprisingly Kei confronts him to tell him off and make him answer why he did so. Apparently he got mad because his family voted Kahns so and he was shot by an alien. Tilarna doesn’t want Kei to continue embarrassing her but thanks him for standing up for her. They relay the news to Zimmer and now he has the headache to go tell all the departments to watch out for a certain wizard. While they dread looking for this guy, Tilarna suggests going back to basics. That is, questioning who would benefit from Kahns’ death.

Episode 10
The polarized polls has split the public. Either you’re on the humans’ side (aliens go home!) or Semanian supporter (aliens have rights too!). Kei and Tilarna head to Mozeleemay’s office to talk to him. A journalist, Kevin Randall tries to bug Kei for an interview but he has no time for him. Randall will email him some details and wants him to read it. It’s important. The duo confront Mozeleemay. He has nothing to say but apparently his wife, Marla is the one with balls and would gladly answer their questions. Of course regarding Kahns’ death, it is believed the Mozeleemay may gain a few hundred thousand voters. Marla replies that even if that is true, their only other mayoral candidate, Domingo Tourte stands to gain even more. As for using corpse as puppets, they should be aware that normal Semanians can’t use magic. The cops leave and they can tell that Marla is the one wearing the pants. As they are about to head to Tourte’s place, a gunshot is heard. Mozeleemay has been shot. Kei heads to the broadcast room to find the culprit. I am surprised that computer AI is able to pinpoint the kind of people Kei is looking for! I mean, right down to their body actions! F*cking precise?! So they manage to pinpoint to this Semanian guy. They look for him and they see him trying to coolly leave the place. When they try to arrest him, he fights back. Miraculously, the crowd isn’t injured so they start chasing after him. They manage to corner him but at this point he is already fatally wounded. His last word is “Leeze” before kicking the bucket. Shockingly, he reverts to human form and Tilarna realizes that this is transformation magic. However he cannot be a corpse puppet because she fought him and was using his own free will. Is it possible for humans to learn Semanian magic? Well, if Semanians can learn human technology, the reverse is true. Then they examine his gun, also transformed into something else. That was how he snuck it in. If you noticed why the whole place is deserted, yeah, I don’t know why either but the FBI arrives. Their jurisdiction. Get out. Back at office, Tilarna explains to her colleagues this vaifaht steel that the gun was made of. In short, it can be moulded into anything simple but it takes very talented craftsmen to do so. Hence something complicated like a gun is impossible for them to even do. Hence there could be a human and Semanian working together on this. Zimmer has the rest of the team investigate further on this but wants Kei and Tilarna to interview Tourte tomorrow. Meanwhile the protests on both sides continue to grow fiercely.

Episode 11
Kei and Tilarna discuss about Tourte who is a very right wing politician. I don’t know if this guy worked for Nike before because his campaign line: “Just! Do it!”. Yeah… Interviewing Tourte, he is upfront in telling how Semanians are lazy and to a point that they love Earth’s culture, the reason why they don’t want to go back despite humans have offered them so many options to return. He didn’t mince his words to tell them to obey Earth’s laws if they want to stay. Or get out! This of course upsets Tilarna but Kei asks him a question if he had to choose between being an Earthling or politician, which would it be? Without skipping a beat, he replies a politician and would have done the same if he was born in the other world. This has Kei thinking about his answer because his former boss, Roth definitely came up with a totally opposite answer. A couple of female police officers manage to get the identity of the assassin. He is Ethan Dole and is supposed to be dead. He was once from the military and went missing many years back in some Semanian operation. As the protests grows, Tilarna is shocked that Marla is running for candidacy. Yeah, you’ve spent so much money on the campaign trail, it’ll be a waste to bow out, right? You’d think Tourte is going to win this election unopposed, eh? Politics, people. Kei gets a call from Randall who keeps bugging him to see the email he sent. Kei checks but sees nothing. Panic, he wants to meet seeing it is utmost importance. A paranoid Randall shows Kei a picture of Marla meeting up and having an affair with somebody else. From the description, that person is Dole. So how is Kei related to this? Randall knows he arrested Mozeleemay at the brothel and thinks he is somewhat connected. This guy gets more paranoid thinking somebody is watching and out to get him. And then the FBI surrounds them. Tilarna can sense something wrong about them. They’re all dead. Except for the one leading the team, Ronald Chan. All of them are cuffed and thrown into the back of the van. Tilarna and Kei are shocked to see that Zelada is still alive and well.

Episode 12
Kei and Tilarna are put to sleep. Back at the base, Zelada speaks with Tilarna while Chan interrogates Kei. I guess it saves time as they reveal they are in cohorts together as their goals align. Yes, they don’t want humans and Semanians to coexist. The original plan was to kill Kahns and Tourte so that Mozeleemay can be the mayor as he is easy to be manipulated. However Ethan decided to go against that and killed Mozeleemay. It is hinted Ethan could have been trained by Tilarna’s master as “Leeze” means master in their language. Zelada wants war because he feels that Earth’s culture has corrupted the Semanians. Chan wants the photo Randall had that Kei uploaded because he wants to blackmail Marla. Kei won’t cooperate so he beats him up. Perhaps he got his guard down so Kei fights back and manages to suffocate him with his thighs! As he leaves, he sees Randall’s corpse in a bag. Tilarna mocks Zelada of being afraid of change. That’s why he is giving all this sort of excuse and resorting to terrorism. Despite this place is a filth, Tilarna believes she can find something that will shine. Kei must have been playing Resident Evil and a pro in it as he fights his way through those FBI zombies! Does he have unlimited ammo cheat code? Just in time before Zelada is going to kill Tilarna. Zelada makes himself invisible and this becomes a game of hide and seek. Kei manages to free Tilarna but she is too weak to fight. Eventually, Kei’s smart thinking has him shoot the sprinklers. Now that they can see Zelada’s outline, Tilarna uses Kei’s gun to pump lead into the old geezer and Kei finishes him off by decapitating him with Tilarna’s sword. Good riddance. In the aftermath, Kei asks Tilarna’s opinion if he should hand over this photo of Marla. She will get exposed and lose the sympathy votes, making Tourte win by a landslide. Or he could play dumb. Tilarna says just to hand in the evidence. She doesn’t care who the mayor of this city is because this is still a good city and there are still some good people in it. And most importantly, because Kei is here. In the aftermath, Marla is arrested and Tourte is sworn in as mayor. Life returns to normal. Yeah, all the protests and street fighting died down but the vices are still there. Back to business as usual. That racist cop apologizes to Tilarna so I guess they’re even now. Humans, Semanians, yeah we’re all the same!

Copped Out…
So this is how it ends? Feels like something is missing… Feels pretty odd that everything resumes to normal after election season is over. Like as though everyone got the message to deal with the winner and continue with their daily lives. I suppose the sins will stay more or less the same whoever is in charge, huh? Kei and Tilarna continuing to be partners for the sake of both the futures of their worlds, trying to tell us that everything is not as bad as it seems. There is always light in the darkest of darkness. Do not lose hope. So you see, human culture not only corrupted other alien cultures with its decadence, we also get to virtue signal that this is all part of development and civilization. Yeah, gotta bring more alien civilizations to our world and let them get a taste of our fun! Any troubles, just let the San Teresa special unit deal with them!

I don’t want to say that the stories are really that boring but it is nothing that interesting either. I mean, they feel just really run of the mill because what else can you have when dealing with aliens from another world getting involved with all sorts of vice and sins that we humans do pretty well? We got the case of smuggling fairies to the case of assassinating mayoral candidates. Pretty ordinary stories if you think about it. Nothing really spectacular or blow your mind. I feel that if they were better written and had better pacing, the little story arcs might be interesting to watch but alas they weren’t so I guess that’s why this series is just passable and mediocre to some. When you have many episodes that leave viewers in suspense especially on cliff-hangers, that is really one way to kill the mood. I know many animes are guilty of doing this but this series only has a dozen episodes and for example, when that vampire chick revived and started attacking, suddenly “To be continued…”. Like, WTF?! It was somewhat about to get exciting and then they cut it off! Next episode for those who are still interested…. Man, what a killjoy. And then some episodes feel like fillers and don’t really make sense. Like Tilarna getting swapped with Kei’s cat. Weird…

One of the worse factors that contributes to the mediocrity of this series is how not enough emphasis is given to flesh out the lore of the Semanian alien world. It’s like as though they are not really important in the first place. From what I can tell, the Semanian world is pretty backwater and not advanced despite having magic. Why is it that other worlds always have magic but lacking in technology? But with San Teresa having all the cool human stuffs, it is no wonder why aliens do not want to go home and stay here and continue to have fun. I mean, planet Earth has porn!!! PORN, PEOPLE!!! PORN!!!! Ah yes, even aliens share the same carnal desires. We living beings aren’t any much different, huh? After all, humans and Semanians look pretty much about the same and the only significant difference is their mini faux elf ears. Sort of. So having no real background or history of the Semanian side, it makes us not really wanting to care or even sympathize with aliens. I mean, really. We don’t. Heck, even that narration about San Teresa being a melting pot for both civilizations feel rushed. Here’s the setting. Nothing convoluted. Now let’s get on with the story. To hell with those Semanians. That’s racist! And other Semanian terms feel like just like plot convenience. Vaifaht steel what again?

This show couldn’t have been released in a more politically incorrect era. Because I’m sure with humans and aliens at odds at each other here, it is hard not to think that the Semanians are somewhat an allegory for illegal aliens, especially with the influx of migrants from other parts of the world into American and Europe. This gets more politically charged up with the final arc especially the race for San Teresa’s mayoral position. Local humans want those aliens out but those aliens screaming they have, uhm, whatever rights they have too. And then racial clashes. Oh yeah. Why does it look so familiar with today’s world? And I can’t help think that Tourte could be a metaphor for the current US president, Donald Trump. I mean, Domingo Tourte. Donald Trump. DT. Geddit?! Not so obvious because Tourte doesn’t sport that trademark orange bad hair day of his. Also, Tourte is very brash and right wing, reminds you of a certain orange man, no? Hmm… “Just! Do it!” sounds like “Make America Great Again!” if you look at it at a certain angle (because Make San Teresa Great Again would’ve been too obvious, alas MSTGA doesn’t have a nice ring to it). HHHMMMMM… And also, Trump has no other real candidates who can challenge him for his 2020 re-election… For now… HHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! And is Marla like Hillary???!!! Because Mozeleemay is like Bill Clinton getting caught with his pants down once… HOLY SH*T!!! Better shut up now if I know what’s good for myself.

However, the thing that intrigued me is the Farbani language that the Semanians speak. I can’t seem to find online what kind of language on Earth they based on. Yeah, maybe my Google skills aren’t so good. To make it all look authentic, some dialogues are spoken in this Farbani language with Japanese subtitles. My sceptical guts tell me that they didn’t go all the way just to create a new language just for this series. And of course they don’t sound like they are spouting random gibberish as I feel there is a system in how their language is spoken. So I’m just really curious what kind of language is this really based on? I hope somebody can enlighten me. Good thing is that I’m not that and I picked up a few Farbani words myself. Rakebye. Rock-a-bye what? That’s baka AKA idiot for you who are still guessing. Heh… No, not any reference to that Shawn Mullins song.

A big fail for this series is how they depict to us the relationship between Kei and Tilarna. I believe that the story and other settings of this world have been side-lined so as to give this pair the focus but even that, they failed to save the series. At first, it was somewhat amusing to see both of them from different backgrounds trying to get along. You know, they’re new to each other, some communication and cultural problems. He is a tough veteran cop. She is a naïve Jedi knight. Both having although same sense of justice but different approaches to it. There is some dynamism between them but ironically the more episodes I see them together, the less I feel that they have actually bonded. I don’t know, their partnership seems somewhat superficial. Sure, they do care for each other in some ways but I just don’t feel that buddy cop thingy between them. You think Tiger and Bunny or even Doug and Kirill were bad enough in this department, boy, I have bad news for this pair for you then.

Some cute and funny moments in between them but nothing that makes me want to say that their partnership is solid as a rock. After all, Kei has been through his fair share of sh*t and seen lots of things including the death of his previous partner before his eyes. Then we have Tilarna whom you can tell is a bit naïve because of how emotional she gets when things don’t turn out the way she expected it to be. You can tell by the volume and emotion in her voice. And then Kei is like he has that I-don’t-give-a-sh*t tone in his voice because he knows better than to waste his breath and argue at the same pitch. In other words, Kei sounds like he doesn’t care but remember, he has been in this line for donkey years so sometimes taking a frontal approach and rushing things may not be the best idea. Despite having the focus a lot on the duo, there are a lot of other juicy details that were not really fleshed out. A lot of blanks to be filled in. For instance, remember what Cecil said about Kei having a sister who died 10 years ago? It would be interesting to know if a Semanian had a hand in that. What about Tilarna’s life as a noble? How did she end up where she is now?

So you see, when your main pair of characters already have this sort of problem in the character development segment, what about the other characters? They are worse. You don’t even care about them. Because I believe there are many other colleagues under this special department but they do not even get a sliver of screen time. I mean, we have Tony the gay guy, his chubby partner (what’s his name again?) and that pair of chicks too whose names I still can’t remember. Like, they don’t even matter unless the script says it’s their turn to do something. Like the final story arc whereby we see them doing something but by that time, it’s already too late. This series has been primarily Kei and Tilarna and then to suddenly see these minor characters thrown into the limelight… Just weird. Uh huh. Damned if they do, damned if they don’t. And Zimmer is like your typical black cop boss. Loud in your face and can be verbally abusive but cares a lot for his men.

The one thing that bugs me is how Kei gets to have a new car. Twice! I am not sure if there is a special provision and budget allocation for this special unit but man, he does seem to get a brand new convertible sports car. Twice! F*ck, I thought he would get back at least his old model or some lousy second hand car but damn, this police department upgraded his car! Maybe it is the company’s car but who knows? Kei is driving it all the time so I’m going to think it belongs to him. Wow. All those crying and begging of OT must have really gotten Zimmer to just get him one and shut him up and do his job, huh? Unfortunately this won’t even happen to me in real life and I risk getting fired… Kei, you lucky bastard! You better take care of that new car!!!

Cecil being Kei’s ex? I guess it must be awkward for former lovers to be still looking at each other working at the same place but I guess they’ve got to be professional. Hence, if you are hoping if there is some sort of Kei x Tilarna romance, don’t even bet a cent on it because from the looks of it, I can tell that it won’t happen. Humans and Semanians can’t mix! That’s racist! Anyway, it would have also been interesting to note what happened between Kei and Cecil that didn’t work out. So sometimes I feel that both of them dedicating their hours on their jobs is like as though they are trying to run away and erase that whatever bad chapter in their fleeting moment. Bad romance? No wonder Kei won’t make this same mistake with Tilarna and plus, she might remind him more of his late sister than a lover. Rakebye.

The antagonists of the series also feel weak. It feels like they are the villains of the episode and nothing more. I thought Elbaji will be the final boss or antagonist or something. Nope. He got sliced dead. That vampire chick might be the final boss. Because you know, vampire clan. And then she too dies! Really? So what she said about that Niba book thingy, was that all just red herring? That’s why I said they should have developed the setting better instead of this half-baked thingy that don’t even matter. I didn’t think Hellmandes would be it either. But he’s such a sneaky guy I can tell he has bad intentions the moment he first popped up but I didn’t think he would get owned that easily by Tilarna. All bark and no bite, huh? Mozeleemay? Dead. Kahns? Dead. Marla? Obviously this chick is the one who hired an assassin to pop Zoey. Now facing prison time. And yeah, Zelada. Oh Zelada. Truly the ‘final’ boss of the series. Literally speaking. Aren’t you supposed to be surprised when the final comes around? Like as though once he is dead, it is endgame for this series. I mean, Kei got his revenge for his ex-buddy Rick so what else more?

On a trivial note, I wonder if the episode titles are parodies of other pop culture. For example, this obvious one, “Smells Like Toon Spirits” is of course based off one of Nirvana’s most famous songs. “Need For Speed” could be based on that video game of the same name. Could “Girls On Ice” be a parody of Yuri On Ice? I wonder if “In The Air Tonight” is based on Luck Be In The Air Tonight. I don’t see how an English nursery rhyme character could be in “Cock Robin, John Doe”. Maybe these episode titles are just random and I’m just overthinking.

Action wise, there are some action sequences. Mostly passable and some really exaggerating to the point it looks comical. Like when Tilarna became a pro driver and trashed his car. Yeah, that was like so WTF. Other than that, Tilarna can’t do more unless she’s in her special uniform and then using her sword to slash. Kei on the other hand only uses his gun. He has got to be one lucky guy because there are scenes where baddies just spray bullets and they all missed. I don’t think having a few gory and bloody scenes would help but yeah, having the setting of a city with vice and sins, this is only to be expected.

For the art and animation, they look pretty okay and it is without doubt that once more that a lot of things here look very American. Especially some of the characters who typically have that American style look like Zimmer (hey, doesn’t he look like Neil deGrasse Tyson?) and characters like Kei having very much this Japanese anime look. As said, Semanians other distinguishing feature is their elf-like ears and it is how you tell them apart from normal humans. Also, is it just me that Semanians have this one kind look on their face? I don’t know. Like a mild Down Syndrome or something! Oh sh*t! I don’t know, the more I look at Tilarna, the more… Forget it. And for those of you who can’t find Carmen Sandiego all this time, be glad to know that she turned into an old Semanian wizard named Zelada in this series. No, seriously. Sometimes the animation can be so low quality, for example when Ethan died, he didn’t have the face of a dead man or a corpse! I mean, he’s got that chillin’ look. Dude, WTF?! This anime is animated by Millepensee who did Teekyuu, the newer season of Berserk and Wake Up Girls.

The other reason why I decided to check this series is out is Kenjiro Tsuda as the voice of Kei. Yeah, I may start to like this guy’s low dreamy voice so I guess him being cast as Kei, I think he fits his character very well. The other casts I recognized are Hochu Ohtsuka as Zelada, Shinichiro Miki as Hellmandez as well as Mai Nakahara and Marina Inoue as those couple of police officers under Zimmer’s department. And that was Rie Tanaka as Zoe? The other casts include Mayu Yoshioka as Tilarna (Mayu in Wake Up Girls), Fumiko Orikasa as Cecil (Rukia in Bleach), Ryousuke Takahashi as Tony (Calibur in SSSS.Gridman) and Shinpachi Tsuji as Zimmer (Makarov in Fairy Tail). I have mixed feelings for the opening theme, Rakuen Toshi by Masayoshi Ooishi. This is quite a very jazzy and lively samba piece and sometimes I wonder if it really fits the pacing of the series. But hearing this song seems to somewhat remind me of Barry Manilow’s Copacabana. The ending theme… Meh. Connected by Mayu Yoshioka is a hard rock piece and definitely not suitable for this series at all. I don’t really like the frenzy rock pace at all (certain lines sound cacophonic) and I’m wondering if this song is a reflection of Tilarna’s real soul. Then there is this BGM that has that Indian or Arabic tune to it. Find it very weird…

Overall, this series could have been a lot better had the producers put more effort into the story and its characters. There were things that were not clearly explained or left forgotten, making it feel it was all unnecessary red herring and worst, Kei and Tilarna’s dynamic relationship failed to make an impact. And because all that supposed good stuff didn’t happen, it came out just another one of those ubiquitous mediocre animes. It also has some potential in thought provoking issues like race and the dark side of humanity but it turned out to be just some really ordinary if not less than stellar buddy cop series. I read online that the main cause of this production being produced below par is the budget. Yup. Eventually it all boils down to money. Unfortunately, first impressions count so I don’t think this would be getting a review for a second season. Hence, bye-bye… Rakebye.

Sob! Sob! SOB!!! SOB!!! Boo hoo!!! I’m crying because I am both happy and sad. Happy that Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Psycho No Aisatsu special has finally been subbed! At the same time I’m a very sad panda because this is going to be the last Milky Holmes episode ever!!! NOOOO!!!! Oh no! OH NO!!! Milky Holmes my dearest, we’ve been together hot and cold throughout the years. Together with your silly antics and dumb retard actions. I thought we’d always be together. Sob, sob. I thought we will always go on forever like how the way things are. Sob, sob. But now, looks like reality has smacked us in the face. It is time to graduate. Time to move on. Sob, sob, sob… And hence this final graduation episode that did a crossover with that Cardfight Vanguard anime, we’re going to see how well you have grown into great detectives. Sob, sob, sob… Oh, I just can’t take it anymore. I just can’t… *Continues to bawl like a baby*.

Down memory lane…
Oh my. Milky Holmes really doing an impressive run with their detective work and putting dumb useless G4 to shame? Uhm, that’s how it should be? Well, okay. Arsene hears Milky Holmes talks about wanting to graduate. Hence she is in a dilemma as she ponders if it is still too early for them but nevertheless, she will give them a final test to prove their worth. Thus Phantom Thief Empire steals a precious card from Aichi Sendo (that protagonist from Cardfight Vanguard). She has left a message for Milky Holmes and is waiting for them to show up but it is Feathers who pop up instead. I guess they need to get some fame too and asked Milky Holmes for permission. Go ahead, girls! And with that… Feathers get brutally owned by Arsene! Don’t waste my time! Poor Feathers return to report to Milky Holmes and with some memories thingy blabbing from Sherlock, I guess they’re taking up the case. So as part of the memory lane trip, they pass by several places they have been before in search of Arsene. Finally they stumble into Arsene and her men. Time for some epic fight. Remember how Twenty can shoot his nipples like projection? Somehow he lost a rock-paper-scissors fight to Cordelia. And why is Hercule holding Stone River’s sword? She acts like a girl being stalked so that’s enough to defeat him. Nero summons the cats to lick on Rat. I guess that works too. The real epic showdown between Arsene and Sherlock… Interrupted by some memories thingy. Suddenly Kokoro intercepts to handcuff Arsene. OMFG! Stupid Kokoro just usurp and took all the credit? I guess she and her G4 are being dumb obnoxious cocky lying b*tches that she agrees to just get arrested by them. Laugh while you can, Kokoro… Badmouth Milky Holmes all you want, Kokoro… Because Milky Holmes seems to be taking all this well and in good spirits. Ah well. Time to go home. Meanwhile G4’s HQ is being decimated as Arsene easily destroyed and broke her way out. Not laughing anymore now, eh? Kokoro is the most badly bruised but don’t worry, Irene still loves how cute you look.

Milky Holmes is summoned to the hall and looks like it is really graduation for them. Henriette rolls in their final task. Uhm, does this bomb disposal task look familiar? If they manage to stop the bomb in one minute, a surprise also awaits them. Spoilers: Past characters in the series are waiting behind the door to congratulate them. And so we see Milky Holmes being f*cking confident in doing this. So much so they start off by singing a song!!! 5 seconds left to go… They easily use their toys to disarm the bomb and take the envelope within. Oh my. They are truly competent! Inside the envelope contains their graduation certificates. But why is Milky Holmes looking sad and disappointed? Actually when they talked about graduation, they meant graduating from their attic dorm. Oh my. Henriette feels so embarrassed that she was the one that misinterpreted the situation. What now? She goes to tell all those past characters that the surprise party is cancelled. Go home. Get out. Scram! And they came so far for this… And so Henriette graduates them from the attic dorm. We see this is all a plan by Mori Arty to move them out. Not sure if she is going to stay here now but she is definitely keeping it clean. Milky Holmes each have their own rooms. Sleeping comfortably? Not quite. Because they all gather and sleep together like the crammed style they are so used to. Nothing like the old times. With Milky Holmes becoming competent detectives to chase after Arsene, uhm, maybe some things don’t change too since they are still clumsy…

Milky Holmes: Homey Homecoming
Oh really? That was it? Sure they aren’t going to pull off a fast one and prank us that there will be another special by the end of this year? You sure about that? Not trying to do Gintama style of trolling and keep long time fans like yours truly surprised and happy? No? I guess this is it then. Time to really, really, really face reality. So this final Milky Holmes special really does hit the feels as we see the typical clichés that really made the Milky Holmes franchise funny and cute as we know them. Of course there was one season where it was really serious and truly competent Milky Holmes (there was also that Alternative alternative) but as far as this final special is concerned, they balance it all out. What I mean is that Milky Holmes still maintain their retard ways but they are not as much as a retard before and they have shown to have control over their Toys now. I believe that Arsene too was feeling sad to see that Milky Holmes graduated. That is why when she head they aren’t really into graduating from school, you can feel that she heaved a sigh of relief and kicked out those past characters. Well, Milky Holmes will still be doing detective work after graduation but being in school, this means Arsene can continue to play as their mentor and guide them as Henriette. So yeah, maybe after being so long with them, I don’t think Arsene really wants to say goodbye so suddenly like that. Let’s keep the status quo for now, shall we?

This special might not be able to incorporate everything that would make us feel totally nostalgic about Milky Holmes because otherwise it would have been a recap episode. Hence it is nice to see some of the things making their short cameo like those characters and places. G4 is also much welcomed with their cameo especially dumb IQ boasting Kokoro who is still as obnoxious and bratty as ever. It is amazing G4 haven’t got fired yet. Nice for Feathers to also make their cameo but so as not to steal the limelight from their senpai, I guess it’s too bad they had to get some beat down. Mori Arty still mysterious in her agenda and all but she could be just a normal girl for all we know. Initially I thought Milky Holmes was going to have some card-like fighting theme like Yugioh, because you know, Cardfight Vanguard crossover. But this feels more like a side distraction and they could have taken other themes like Pokemon’s Pikachu getting kidnapped or some device from Digimon gets stolen whatsoever. So the only running joke to remind us about this crossover is the fact that Milky Holmes cannot remember Aichi’s name and spout it out totally as a different name altogether. Only Hercule remembers but nobody listens…

It is really sad and it really hits the feels in the heart when the ending theme, Soshite Gunjou Ni Toketaiku by Milky Holmes is such a sweet and lovely ballad. So sweet and lovely that it almost sounds like a song that is played at high school graduation ceremonies! Oh damn. Here I was holding back my tears and then they had to play this song? You really want me to bawl over mah dummies?! I mean, my detective angels?! Oh well. Sherlock, whatever crap you said about those memories thingy, I don’t really remember nor understand, but I think I kinda know what it means for a long running (technically) series to have its final send off episode. It is sad that it has ended but also remember, be happy for all the antics and fun that they have brought to us in almost 10 years span. And so the opera curtains finally draw to a close. Thank you, Milky Holmes. Thank you for everything. Eyes getting blurry, nose getting stuffy, voice getting croaky… I think I need another pack of tissues…

On a trivial note, I wonder why this special is named as Psycho No Aisatsu, literally meaning, a psychotic greeting. Hmm… Could it be a play on the word saikou (the greatest)? Either way, Milky Holmes has always greeted us in the most Milky Holmes of fashion and with this final, it is rather Psycho No Sayonara (a psychotic goodbye) AKA Saikou No Sayonara (the greatest goodbye). Once again, thank you Milky Holmes.

Miami Guns

January 30, 2016

Doing my random browsing again on the internet, I thought of giving Miami Guns the pass since when I skimmed through the synopsis, I considered this to be one of those run of the mill buddy cop series. But rereading it again because my guts oddly told me to (really!) to make sure that it wasn’t just an ordinary series of characters with opposing and clashing personalities working together, maybe it does seem interesting about a pair of police partners that consists of a spoilt rich psychotic girl who only joins the police force on a whim simply because what better way to enjoy the thrills of car chases and beating up the ‘bad guys’, with a totally soft spoken but sharp tongued and observant daughter of the police chief. Hmm… Maybe this won’t be as bad after all. And the final clincher… Yukari Tamura is the cast of one of the main characters. That seals it. I need to see this show.

Episode 1
A lone bank robber has been told to rob the Central Bank of Miami. Thinking this would be easy pie, he barges in, unheeding the advice of his employer about the local police. He is in for a surprise because all the citizens take out their guns! The police have barricaded the area because after the failed robbery, the robber who has armed himself with explosives around his body has taken a baby hostage and holed himself up the clock tower. The Miami police chief, Clarence Amano and his daughter, Lu as well as the rest of the team arrive on scene. One of the robber’s demands is for an escape helicopter. But here comes fellow police officer, Yao Sakurakouji jumping down with such flashy extravagance. Yeah, she’s here to steal the limelight. Since her dad is freaking rich, she says she has bought the building and the guys can do whatever they want with it! Yeah, they can’t wait to fire their guns! Clarence thinks of going to trade himself for the baby hostage. His team cheers for his bravery but Yao is not happy he is getting all the attention and knocks him out! She’ll be trading places with him. The robber is already having his hands full changing the baby’s diapers and now what does this b*tch wants? He tells her to strip and she willingly does it just to show off her bikini. It only gets worse for the robber as the media thinks he is a pervert for making Yao strip and do perverted poses! So now she is a hostage. She can’t just leave with the baby, right? That is why Lu thought of coming with here but the egoist turned her down. Yao loses interest and ironically she has potential of harming the baby while the robber is the one protecting the little guy!

Yao goes to add more fuel to the fire by claiming the robber is getting aggressive and beating her up! She’s punching herself! But you can’t blame everybody for not noticing since it’s quite high up there. More despicable Yao is, she dresses up as the robber to taunt the cops to shoot at her! The robber finally regains control by tying up Yao and hanging her out to dry. Once the clock reaches 5pm, the cops get ready to head home. They don’t do overtime work since they don’t get paid! Lu gets this idea of driving the armour truck into the bank. They start filling the bag with the bank’s money (another of the robber’s demands) but they don’t feel too bad about it because remember, this building belongs to Yao and so it’s her money technically. Then they drive up to the clock tower to arrest the robber. However he warns them that he has planted bombs around the building. Yao can’t stand of losing more limelight and does some acrobatic move to get back in, accidentally pressing the detonator. The building collapses but everyone is still alive as they were taking shelter inside the armour truck. And Yao got the guts to blame Lu for trying to steal the limelight from her with this daring move and then blame her for all that has happened. The robber couldn’t be happier to go to prison but he calls them all the worst piece of sh*t as human beings! Oh yeah. Justice is served.

Episode 2
Time for a flashback summary about the girls. Sort of. Yao as the rich spoilt daughter of her father’s conglomerate, she is so fearsome that even the road gangs fear her! When a professional assassin, Leon Morimoto threatens her with a death note (he even signed the note), Yao wants to beat the crap out of him so Clarence assigns Lu to protect her. Thanks to Lu, Yao’s life is saved countless times. When facing off with Leon, Lu is even willing to put her life on the line to protect Yao. But that b*tch just teases her ass off. But then thoughts of how cool Lu was got to her. There is no way she can be cooler and prettier than her! Yao is going to play hero and shoots some giant ball to send it rolling down and pinning him under the pool. Feeling the excitement of it all, Yao decides to join the police force. Next is a flashback of why Yao always carry her trademark Mauser gun. Thanks to her huge estate, she is pretty much left to do anything (so it is not illegal if she is driving underage) with her butler, Jii supervising her. However she always seems to accidentally kill her mom. The final time she did it, mom gave her the Mauser. Maybe it could all be a bunch of lies because Lu remembers her mom died from some illness.

We are also shown a draft production of the series before it was final. So there were bunch of changes in character before it was finalized. Like this old professor who was killed off by turning into a monster and hence his beautiful assistant, Kaken taking over his role. Clarence originally started off as a black guy but with Lu being made his daughter, he turned white and that is why his afro was brought over. Then there’s Jii who is some sort of international James Bond and sex prowess in his heydays. Not forgetting the trio amateurs of the force, photographer Kosuke Inaba (voyeur and peeping tom), fast runner Haruki Ishikawa (rapist) and researcher Takuro Matsumoto (occultist). After much training from Lu and Yao, they become their faithful subordinates. New and young detective, Irotarou Sumi joins the force and was Lu’s high school club mate. Yao teases about their romance but this doesn’t sit well with Clarence. Then she makes a pun on his name, Junshoku which means to die on the duty and it becomes the running joke for a couple of scenes. Each time he is brought back to life, he is killed off shortly. Maybe they should just stop bringing him back to life.

Episode 3
A mysteriously girl screaming for help from a phone call that came in the wee hours of the morning to the police has Clarence sending Lu and Yao to infiltrate Miami’s all-girls high school to investigate. Of course Yao is more concerned in being popular. There is this girl, Nagisa Tojou who has high grades and popular with the rest that Yao calls a typical b*tch. But when Nagisa wants to be friends with her and admires her, suddenly Yao becomes her best friend. Lu heard some girls talking to the principal about their friend Ishida who was hospitalized but they can’t go visit her. Lu relays to Kaken to find out about Ishida but there is no such person registered in the hospital. Feeling something amiss about the principal, she has Kaken check his background out. As the duo have secret microphone to relay what they say back to HQ, because Yao is fooling around with boobs and panties, the rest of the force heard this and start arguing they want to infiltrate the school! Then they accidentally spill coffee on the machine… Can’t hear a damn thing now. The girls dread the physical examination because it is part of the school’s regulation to pass it or they can’t graduate. Trying to prepare life in the tough streets of Miami? Seems the principal is a shady guy. He has been making a deal with the Organization to sell girls to this organization for a handsome sum. The reason? They are getting worried with the all-male force turning gay! Who the heck is George?! Who the heck is Anthony?! So gay… Lu heard this and is about to arrest the principal and his cohort the vice but is knocked out by the biggest crook of them all: Nagisa!

Meanwhile Yao is going to show the special forces a thing or two as she uses live bullets to fire back! The captain, Suzuki also uses live rounds to fire back. Yao feels great to be the heroine as she leads the girls back into the building. She doesn’t care if other students are involved. The most important thing is their own safety! With Nagisa missing, she leaves the girls to fend for themselves while she goes look for her best friend. Nagisa bumps into Suzuki and laments that this crazy b*tch has got her plans hindered. Her goals are to rule this school and usurp the Organization by supplying girls to the soldiers but that Yao b*tch had to ruin it. When Yao meets her, she is so happy that she even got the cheek to say she’ll protect her but uses her as a human shield when Suzuki throws a bomb. Meanwhile the other girls won’t become sitting ducks so they use their sly resources by stripping down to their underwear. When the soldiers start thinking with the wrong head and let their guard down, they start hammering them properly. Suzuki opens a classroom to see. George x Anthony! Gay moment! It couldn’t even be more gay when Suzuki cries that he isn’t good enough for George! Lu is tied up and realizes the principal is the one behind Ishida’s kidnapping. He is going to get naughty with her by cutting up her underwear when Yao barges in. After tying them up, the principal recognizes Nagisa but in order to protect herself, she lies that she has been forced into this and taken advantage. Thankfully Yao is dumb enough to believe. Care to join her in beating up those old guys? Yao is shocked that Lu is going to shoot Nagisa but it is to fire at Suzuki who was going to get them. In the aftermath, the girls are thankfully for what Yao taught them. So when the Miami police force start barging in (some of them having their cameras ready), the girls straight away beat them up! High school girls are scary! Nagisa is all bandaged up like a mummy and vows to get her revenge.

Episode 4
Don’t panic if you think you’re watching the wrong anime. Because it may look like Initial D but today’s episode is a parody of it! An officer shows why his drifting allows him to catch criminals. But some traffic slipup causes him to crash and the criminal who thinks he has gotten away gets usurp by another drifter. Seems there is a serial case of car crashers being crashed and for each of them, a tofu being left at the scene and the traumatic victim could say nothing but rabbit. Clarence is pissed that his men are not really interested to solve this. Because if they would, they’d be a private detective instead of ending up in the police! Of course Yao thinks she has got this case solved. The culprit is a guy in a bunny suit delivering tofu! You should have known better than to expect anything from her. I think Lu baits her to get a car so that she can drive around to do investigations. After all, a reason she joined the police for the car chases, right? At the crash scene, they examine and taste the tofu. Although they can deduce where it came from, the problem is now the bunny guy. As they go around asking street racers, all of them give contradicting answers that they know who this guy is. Even if they resort to Yao flashing her panty to this wimpy racer, it comes expensive as she threatens him with her gun! Not afraid to fire a warning shot! So he spills the beans of some guy running a store named after the rabbit. Too bad he’s got a perfect alibi. Then they see somebody trying to mess with their car and think he is the culprit. A car chase is on. Although he crashes, the barricade saves him from falling off the cliff. Then Yao’s ‘excellent’ driving pushes him off. End of case? Not likely. Because we see the bunny guy watching from afar.

Next day, Yao gets an earful from Clarence instead of a praise. If she had stopped the culprit why is there another serial case right after that? Yao’s brilliant answer: The culprit snuck out of hospital! In that condition she put him? Annoyed with his lecturing, all she needs is to bring in the proof, right? Yeah. She barges into hospital, disregards the nurse’s advice that no visitors are allowed, shoots the knob when it is locked and then tries to haul the victim out just to prove he can drive! This guy turns out to be the wimpy racer who just wanted to exact revenge on them but they spot him before he could do anything. Yao gets a call from Lu that Kaken has researched the tofu and knows where it is made. So they see this handsome guy, Kameo Takumi who thinks one of his customers is using the tofu for criminal activities. Lu believes this guy is the culprit and even more so when Kaken has returned with the results of her research on him. As they wait outside his store, late into the night they see a truck driving out. As they try to tail him, suddenly he vanishes before popping up from behind and trying to ram them off. Lu explains that Kameo was bullied for being slow as his name means tortoise. So he is trying to satisfy his perversion and correct this trauma by dressing up as a rabbit and run anyone who is faster than him off the road. Yao’s car has been fitted with lots of gadgets by Kaken but Kameo is skilful in avoiding them all. The intense chase turns into a chicken race. Wait a second. A tortoise guy in rabbit suit playing chicken? As both sides accelerate, Kameo starts feeling scared that the crazy b*tch is not swerving. So he is more chicken than tortoise than rabbit? To his surprise, Yao extends the suspension of her car (Kameo’s truck passing safely under it). Kameo is surprised but he failed to navigate the corner and this causes him to turtle. Game over. You’re busted.

Episode 5
Yao and Lu are tasked to bring in the most wanted bounty hunter killer, Maria Rose. Each time she kills a bounty hunter, her reward goes up and now she stands at $9.8 million. Not sure if that number is too high for Yao or she is so rich that she isn’t motivated. Till Lu mentions Maria Rose is one of the top 5 gunslinger in the world and that Yao is no match for her. Yeah, that revved her up. They are zoomed by this handsome dude, Julio Peacemaker. Nobody passes Yao like that. Time to teach this dude a lesson and put the pedal to the metal. Once arriving in the cowboy town, Maria Rose just killed another target. The other guys suspect the duo because they are the only ones on scene. However upon taking a closer look, they recognize them as Miami Guns! That infamous, huh? It is deduced that Maria Rose might be disguising as one of them since nobody knows how she looks like as she is a master of disguise too. Julio tries to flirt with Miami Guns but they aren’t interested. Since he is persistent, he tells them that he is a bounty hunter too but with lousy shooting skills. He has a good nose and this means he can sniff out the culprit and then Miami Guns can take her down. What have they got to lose? Later some bounty hunters want Miami Guns to give police details about Maria Rose. Once they know who she is, they’ll kill her in her sleep. Yao chides him for doing it a cowardly way and should challenge her fair and square. Miguel is going to challenge her instead so Julio suggests a drinking challenge. Obviously Yao is a heavy drinker and easily wins. Because Julio’s pet alligator, Al tries to peek at her panties, Yao beats it up. Julio explains this isn’t just an ordinary alligator but a smart one who escaped from some institute and is his partner. When Miguel goes take a piss outside, Maria Rose strikes.

The others lament his death so they search the town for clues. They believe Maria Rose is hidden among them since Miguel didn’t draw his gun as he might have known this person. Then they stumble upon something and drag Julio out for a beat down. They find a cigarette butt on the scene and nobody but him here smokes. Julio believes he is framed and that Maria Rose has manipulated everyone to make them kill him. Any proof? Julio takes out his FBI badge! So who is the real culprit? Julio unmasks Miami Guns as the real Maria Rose! Remember, he has a keen sense of smell so there was gunpowder on them. Also, Julio can tell their vital statistics differ greatly from the real Miami Guns. Speaking of which, where are they? Pushing their car… The engine must have blown. Damn Kaken technology… A big gunfight ensues as Maria Rose takes the bartender as hostage. Julio suggests a duel. To their surprise, he is faster than them and even more baffling, he only fired one shot and how did he hit them both? Al got him covered. Even more surprise that Julio is not from the FBI. Looks like he is an impersonator having badges from the Miami police force, Scotland Yard and even hair dresser licence? Who is he? A messenger of peace who will save the world says he. Julio leaves town just as the real Miami Guns drag in. He gives Yao a passionate kiss and now she’s in love with him! What kind of justice is this? Lu is dumbfounded to see Maria AND Rose tied up and the bartender gets to keep the million dollar reward.

Episode 6
The Miami police will be receiving the assistance of FBI bomb specialist, Bruce Tsuji (you mean that Die Hard guy?!). Because the international terrorist, Joke Joedan has placed watermelon bombs all over Miami and is blackmailing them. Tsuji has been chasing this guy for 5 years and just when he found his hideout, he narrowly escaped. Tsuji demonstrates the bombs look, feel and smell like real watermelons but when cut, it explodes! Man, this Tsuji guy is a tough nut to crack because he can survive so many explosion demonstrations! I think the ladies are loving his iron dick. They have only a limited time to find them before it goes off tonight. As the police go look for the bomb, Yao is not interested and is rather interested in today’s pro wrestling final because her Jii is the coach for Watermelon Man. Say, doesn’t he look suspiciously familiar? However with Kaken creating a device to search for bombs, Yao won’t let her steal the limelight and starts searching. Too bad she turns up with nothing as Clarence and his force has already collected all the bombs. Joedan’s employer calls him about his miscalculation as the bombs are all collected (Joedan did this ransom thing because the cost of the bomb went over his budget). He wants his money back but Joedan is playing it cool since there is a wrestling match where the winner gets a million bucks. Yao is still not happy that the credit won’t go to her and her delusions of her saving the city by dumping the truckload of bombs into the ocean got to her. She hijacks the truck and the police are hot on her tail. Thanks to Kaken’s device, Lu finds her. After Yao returns from the toilet, the truck is missing. They trace it delivered to the wrestling stadium. Seems there is a special event whereby Watermelon Man will give out free watermelons as appreciation for fans. That is when Lu notices the similar looking moles on Watermelon Man’s arms and connects him to Joedan. They need to neutralize the bombs without letting the spectators know about it.

The wrestling match begins but as Watermelon Man rips apart his opponent, it is actually Yao in disguise! She beats him up to make him reveal where the detonator is. After Lu and Kaken bring back the pineapple detonator, Yao forces him to spill out the instructions to diffuse the bombs. (I can’t believe Tsuji and Clarence are going to explode them one by one. Tsuji won’t die but will Clarence…). Yao exerts too much power that Joedan faints. She continues the beating to wake him up but now he loses his memories! Oh no. Time is running out. At this rate it will be all Yao’s fault! Just when Yao beats out the final answer from Joedan, she realizes it is the wrong answer but Lu cuts the opposite wire and saves the day. Why did she do so? She knows well not to trust Yao! Clarence and Tsuji are going to give Yao her punishment for misconduct but surprisingly Lu and Kaken explain this was all Yao’s elaborate plan to catch the mastermind as he had the detonator. They might have got all the bombs but the culprit was still loose, right? No choice, the let her go. Yao becomes cocky and basks in her new credit. But why are the ladies backing her up so nicely? Because without her, they wouldn’t be able to collect the million dollar prize. Oh, Yao can’t get mad. Because they’ll tell the truth otherwise… Sly b*tches!

Episode 7
Yao tries to diffuse a bomb inside the police HQ. Too bad she screwed up and ran for her life. Boom! Actually Lu already did a good job in diffusing it but Yao thought she could do better and the rest is history. Instead of reflecting her actions, she is on a winning streak at a pachinko parlour! Clarence gets a surprised call from Yao’s dad. He wonders why he hasn’t fired her. Clarence tries to be modest but he is being told to fire Yao immediately. He thought letting his daughter do what she wanted and she would get bored of it but now this has dragged out too long. When Yao learns she has been fired, she drops a bomb on what is left on the police HQ!!! However Jii drops her into the ocean after that as part of her dad’s plan to cut her off from civilization. But you can’t just kill her off like that since she managed to wrestle a shark and bring it back on land! Unfortunately for her, her card has been stopped and she can’t use it to buy stuffs. Bumping into Lu, Yao accuses her of loving to see her in misery. On the contrary, Lu is worried as she could never tell what a wild animal would do when corner. Yao takes this as an insult and will show them. While trying to cook the shark, she smells something good from a nearby mansion and barges in. Oh wait. Isn’t his Nagisa’s home? The maid calls the police although Nagisa is not too happy since they have secrets they are hiding. With Yao making the place like her home, in no time the police surrounds it. Yao thought they are here to get her but noticing the guns in their hands, Nagisa lies that the police are suspecting her for a murder suspect. Nagisa plays the emotional card that she will go try convince them but once outside, she tells them to kill her! It will be the best revenge for Yao’s friends to kill her sworn enemy. However crazy Yao escapes (using Nagisa’s face as a landing pad).

Yao becomes a degenerating primitive wild woman called Miami Man and wreaking havoc across town. All traps by the police have failed. Not even Kaken’s banana trap or trying to convince her with words. Finally Lu’s tranquilizer takes her out. Back in the cage of her father’s mansion, seems Yao is gradually recovering her memories but that will take 3 full years (anticipated time). Her dad regrets his action but blames it on the Miami police. He doesn’t care how but he wants his daughter back the way she was. Otherwise the entire police force will be disbanded! Lu volunteers to bring her back. Yao doesn’t recognize her and attacks her. As she rips her clothes, her money fell out. That rings some familiar bells to her. Lu tries to get her to pronounce money and slowly bit by bit, Yao finally does so and returns to her normal self. This means she is keeping all that loose change. It is ironic that money represents civilization for Yao, they’re trying to say that money settles things! But you don’t know how deep Yao’s grudge runs because now she bombs daddy’s mansion!

Episode 8
Far off the coast of Miami is the resort island, Crystal Island. A camper is telling her mates about the murders that took place here. They got spooked thinking the killer crept up on them but it’s just some frogman police. Our Miami police girls are on this island to investigate a spate of murders. But Yao and Kaken seem to be more interested in having fun. Tempting, eh? Lu goes around to rid of trespassers since the place is off limits but all she could find are a straight couple and gay couple (George and Anthony???!!!). Because Yao is clueless as usual, Yao has to explain some back story of the case. Although it is believed that the killer was killed by police 5 years ago, his body was never found. Could it be he is back as a ghost? This freaks out Yao since it has come to our attention this girl is afraid of ghosts although she unconvincingly says she isn’t. Surprisingly the couples approach them. Seems their boats, the only ticket out here has been set adrift. Somebody cut off the ropes. And they’re stuck in a far off place with no signal. How long can Yao hold her sanity? When something is heard rumbling in the woods, Yao panics and rushes off, getting lost in the midst. Of course Lu goes to fetch her back but also takes a few chances to prank her with ghost faces.

When they return, they heard a scream. Did the killer or ghost make his move? Turns out the gay couple is playing having S&M play. Disappointed? Yao and Kaken get interested to see what the other couple is doing but they’re not in their next door cabin. They hear their real scream this time. The masked killer is real and is going to get them! Lu shoots and breaks the wooden axe. When the killer is unmasked, she turns out to be an old woman. She blames the straight couple as a pair of con artists. They conned her into buying a weird mask, using up her life savings. Who the blame? Yao becomes mad and wants to beat up the couple for all that they made her gone through. The old woman kills herself by leaping off the cliff. Lu jumps in to save her. She sees evil spirits trying to pull her down! She resigns to her fate but before passing out, she sees Yao jumping in to save her. Everybody is safe in the end and Lu is surprised that Yao actually saved her and was worried she was dead. But Yao calls it even because she realizes Lu can’t swim (maybe that’s why she refused to join in the fun earlier in the day). But Lu wonders if the spirits were just her illusions as it could be just seaweeds her feet was tangled with. The only way back is via a makeshift craft. Well, enjoy your ‘ocean resort’. Yao freaks out and almost drowns when Kaken shares the photos she took of her earlier in the day. There are ghosts in the background!!!

Episode 9
Nagisa is even resorting to black magic to curse Yao. But her henchmen suggest hiring an assassin and you can see her smile from ear to ear. With a $10 million bounty on her head, all sorts of assassins barge into Yao’s room to take her out. If not for Jii who took every bullet and stab from military men to ninjas and Yao’s extreme uncanny luck for walking out and not even getting a scratch anywhere. When she enters Miami police HQ, everyone is shocked to see her alive. There’s even a trail of destruction of her failed assassination that she didn’t even notice! Yeah… Miami is not a hot bed gathering of all assassins who is out for her head. Even Clarence joked he would could take her out to be richer. Yeah… They want her to stay low but she will not be cowed as she has more important things to do. Clarence thought Yao is being brave and a sign of motivation for the police they shouldn’t worry about their own life. Lu hates to break it to him that the important thing Yao was talking about is the Miss Miami contest held today. Feeling tempted to join the bounty hunt, Clarence? Julio gets a call for a job and he agrees to take it. At the backstage, Yao meets Nagisa who is participating. She puts up her nice façade but at her back, she really hates her and today is going to be her last day. As all the contestants strut their stuff on stage (Julio masquerading as the cameraman), suddenly a shot takes out Yao! OMG! Is she dead?! Lu cries for her when Yao wakes up! Thanks to Kaken, her swimsuit is bulletproof. Tears for nothing? It’s already shocking that nobody screamed or ran but just watched the ‘spectacle’. The contest carries on because Yao says so and the winner will be decided via obstacle race. What does this have to do with a beauty contest? Oh, no wonder there were no judges. Of course this race is suited for Yao who is going to bulldoze everyone.

The race is filled with traps designed to kill Yao but you know about her extreme luck. As for the rest of the contestants, they get into nip slip conditions. Too bad Nagisa stepped on her own bomb. In the control room, she is furious so she decides to unleash her ultimate weapon, Genichirou. He is in fact a giant octopus. In the pool, the octopus is also a pervy since it has a penchant of stripping swimsuits. Lu is in danger of being a victim when Julio signals to Al to make his move. A tranquilizer puts the octopus to sleep and Yao claims the glory all for herself. Nagisa is so desperate that she makes an announcement over the microphone (risking her voice to be recognized) for all assassins to kill Yao now! The prize will be paid 20 times more! Wow. You can see all assassins. From grandma to kids and even animals out for her head! WTF?! After Al has evacuated the real crowd, Julio bombs the ceiling. Then he gives guns to the girls for them to go wild. You can bet every assassin lost to this true monster. But there is one. And she is in the control room. Nagisa fears this is the end of her but she gets a sly idea. When Yao barges in, Nagisa acts like her henchmen put her up to all this. Instantly Yao takes them out. However Yao is not pleased that Lu won the contest. Nagisa curses another failure and notices Yao glaring suspicious stares at her. Julio is contacted by Yao’s father who has paid him for being Yao’s bodyguard. Although Julio says that girl doesn’t need one, father mentions he was just the insurance. The real bodyguard (Jii) seems to be frolicking with nurses at the hospital he is recuperating. You naughty old devil! Julio has also delivered a video to Yao’s father as part of the deal. A video of Yao in the contest. Enjoy.

Episode 10
Yao destroy a train company just to catch a thief! You bet the complaints and calls for compensation will be coming. Clarence says it is her responsibility to pay $5 billion so Yao thought she could call her daddy and pay. However he says no allowance for her! Looks like Clarence is going to deduct this from her pay! So is she going to work free forever? Hell, no! She’s going to rob her fellow police officers! Before that can happen, Clarence has her team up with a robot, Detective Robot R, believed to be made by the brains of HQ costing $10 billion! Why this drum can? Lu is on some undercover mission. As typical Yao is, she tries to pawn it (worth only $4), pimp it (who wants to screw with a robot?) and has it do manual labour (can’t get up after falling?). So when she’s troubled over repaying back the amount, R suggests going to a newly opened casino where with his brains he can help her win big. At the poker table, R whispers to Yao that everyone is calling a bluff and so Yao increases the stakes despite she has no hand. But the fatty boss also raises the stakes. Yao is cautious but R maintains he is also bluffing. So after Yao antes R, they show their hand. She has nothing but he has the weakest single pair. Fatty wins. R now belongs to him and goes over to his side. Did he betray her? Nope. He claims his calculations were perfect. She has bad luck. About her debt? Not his problem. This guy is good! Yao is kicked out and joins a homeless guy drinking. Yeah, he had to buy a vending drink can for her with his money! He claims he was fired from a train company after Miami Guns ruined it. He got blamed and his wife left him. Oh sh*t… When Yao sees a $100 bill stuck on his back, she takes it and claims she can double that amount. Typical gambler excuse. Meanwhile the fatty contacts his boss and is running a scam of cheating everyone. Lu is an undercover working here and heard this conversation. Oh, Julio too.

Yao blows it all! Only a coin left. Homeless guy wants his money back but Yao is still confident she can turn the tide! Then the money slips. Somebody picks up and plays the slots. Turns out to be Julio. His luck wins them $50 million! Homeless guy wants to share the money but Yao claims it is all hers and just gives him a few miserable coins. When he learns that Yao is part of Miami Guns, he is enraged. Time for revenge. Yao then bumps into Lu who tells her the shady operations of this casino. With R giving him great advice and the dealer is in cohorts with them, you can never beat fatty even with a zillion bucks. But Yao goes to play poker with him again. The stakes are raised so high and she doesn’t have enough. Don’t worry. Lu will loan some money. How nice. But with steep interest. Lu drugs the dealer’s drink to make him run to the toilet to take over his place. Julio joins the game. R as usual whispers to fatty that everybody is bluffing. Julio up the antes till it reaches a trillion! When it’s time to call, fatty’s straight beat Julio’s pairs. But Yao has got a flush! It’s her win! Homeless guy comes in with a gun to threaten Yao for his money back. Fatty steals his gun upon learning Yao is from the police in which Yao didn’t hesitate to reveal her identity. However the gun is a toy gun that homeless guy stole from a statue. Didn’t think he got the money to buy a real gun, eh? R pleads to go to the police station together but Yao kicks that drum can over on fatty. Julio leaves his winnings to homeless guy. Did he win? His actual hand is four of a kind! He said a pair but he actually had double pairs! He coolly leaves the casino and it explodes subsequently. Why? Because R has a self destruct code if he lies down for too long! OMG! So now Yao not only has $10 billion debt of destroying the robot but that loan from Lu too. To her dismay, she learns R was actually modelled after her. No wonder so familiar. So young, so in debt…

Episode 11
Aota Saburo just got out of prison and he had the bad luck to molest Yao. Naturally he gets beaten up and sent back to do time. Oddly, Nagisa just came out from the police HQ and passing by Yao, she invites her to her house for her birthday party. After Aota gets locked up, he initiates his plan to set the prison on fire and all the convicts escape. Although the police manage to capture most of them, a few remains elusive and they are the past villains of this series. Unsurprisingly, they are all hired by Nagisa for the birthday setup. Lu questions Yao’s blind friendship with Nagisa. She claims they are the same and it makes Lu sound like a jealous friend. When Yao arrives for the party, the criminals take her hostage. As Nagisa is playing the victim like as though those convicts set her up, Yao has no choice but to obey and gets beaten up. Wow. She sits there and takes a beating without fighting back! Even the baddies don’t feel the fun. One of the underlings who was sent to do an errand (because Nagisa views him as disposable anyway) goes out drinking and he so happened to bump into Lu who makes him spill the beans with his blabbermouth. This makes Lu to be sure that Nagisa is the mastermind behind this. So she busts into the mansion and takes down the villains all by herself. Is Lu mad seeing Yao hurt? But here’s another surprise. Yao wants to save Nagisa despite being beaten up badly. Meanwhile Nagisa contacts the boss of the Organization and if she succeeds with her revenge, she will earn a place in the Organization. When Lu barges into Nagisa’s room, she deduces her revenge plot. Yao still doesn’t believe. She might be set up by someone. But has she got proof? Lu kicks Aota’s stomach to make him spit out gasoline. This guy is like a human pump and the one responsible for the prison fire. Then the dumb maid comes in with the birthday cake. She slips and the entire place is on fire. Yao saves Nagisa and takes her to safety.

As Nagisa sees the Organization’s boss, he mentions although the incident was hard to cover up for Nagisa’s family, the Organization still managed to secure Nagisa’s release despite she remains a high suspect in the police’s books for the incident. He gives her a bouquet of roses and tells her to use it however she likes. She is now visiting Yao in hospital. She still treats her like her friend. And then Yao had to pour cold water on it that Nagisa is truly the culprit behind this. Her butler, maid and all those hired criminals she lowly paid to keep their mouths shut, all ratted on her. Yao still refuses to believe and this irritates Nagisa so much that she just admits it all! I guess she’s not shedding crocodile tears about being lonely and doesn’t need friends. Yao can feel her pain. She somewhat understands. They’re pretty similar, right? Lu might look like a cold hearted b*tch trying to arrest Nagisa but she says they are still the police and it’s their job. Nagisa clutches the roses so tight that its poisonous thorns cause her to bleed. Although she is quickly saved, she is now in a coma. Yao is discharged but is feeling gloomy and spacing out at the same time. Apparently with Lu having information she is working for someone still doesn’t deter Yao because she knows she is still going to arrest her as a cop. Believe it or not, she resigned from the force.

Episode 12
Yao has been missing for a week. She’s been going around beating up small fries to get information about the Organization. No luck. Whether they know or not, they get beaten up real good. Stress relief? Then she stumbles into Julio and is in no mood for his flirting. Till he mentions about some information on the Organization. You interested? She is disappointed-cum-deceived of his shabby place and instant coffee he serves her. She warns him not to fool around so he mentions about the information he got after doing his investigations. All crimes in Miami are completely under the control of the Organization. Nobody knows its true character. This reliable source led him to a name: Kanimiso Gang. Crab brains? That is for real and not a joke! Since this information isn’t free, he wants to make love with her but she is clearly not in the mood. Okay. He’ll settle for her cooperating to take down this group. Oh by the way, the instant coffee is expired. On a luxury liner, an important meeting is taking place and you might have guessed, the big boss will be here. The entire Miami police force could be on watch on this ship. But the duo slip in with Al putting up his cutesy act to deceive the guards. And the rest they just use their fists.

As they go separate ways, Yao bumps into Lu. She threatens to arrest her since she knows she’ll be pulling off some sort of nuisance. But Lu wants Yao to come back to the force as she told Clarence she took leave. Yao won’t listen and will do things her way. Lu fires a warning shot but this doesn’t deter Yao a bit. Lu makes up a fake reward to motivate her comrades capture Yao. The big chase begins onboard the ship. Kanimiso’s big boss initiates his operation. All the ship’s crew are his underlings as they take everyone and all the dignitaries as hostage. Julio didn’t expect to reunite with Yao again. All that running around must have made her reach here in this room which contains a ballistic missile. Lu is also here and wants to know more about what is going on but before Julio can spill the beans, the guards discover them and they have to run. Julio throws them a diskette that contains vital information. Julio is then confronted with Sergio who is not only Kanimiso’s second in command but the big brother of Maria Rose. He is here for revenge. The only way to settle this is a quick draw. Shockingly, Julio loses. So sad when a handsome guy dies? Seems this affects Yao a lot seeing him fall down the floor beneath. Why all the ‘romantic’ flashbacks with him? She’s sad. She’s mad. She still won’t listen to Lu to come back to the force and goes to the room where the big boss is as told by Julio. To her shock, she couldn’t believe the big baddie puppet master is no other than her father.

Episode 13
However Yao’s father has overslept and wakes up to attend the summit. Yao realizes she got the wrong room. So when she opens the right room… OMG! Anthony x George making out!!! WTF?! Is it gay time already?! Lu ties up Yao and tells her she has been duped by Julio. Because Clarence and the other police are not responding (they’ve been held hostage and so does Yao’s dad who just waltz right into it), Lu goes to check it out. Kaken tries to analyze the disk but since she cannot crack the code, surprisingly Anthony has the skills to do so. Lu brings back injured Julio. He reveals this is actually in activation code for the missile and its target coordinates. Kanimiso stole the missile from a foreign country but couldn’t get the key card to launch it because he stole it. They offered him a large sum of money in exchange on this ship. Julio knew they couldn’t be trusted and arrived earlier to check it out and true enough, they won’t be paying him. With the missile’s coordinates targeting Miami, Lu gets hyped up over this conspiracy and breaks free from her ropes. She wants to rejoin the police force and Lu couldn’t be happier to throw her badge back. The big boss reveals he is targeting Miami because he wants to kill all the rich people. He couldn’t forget the humiliation that day. Looks like some nuclear fallout aftermath and the rich kicked out the poor to build a city of greed and corruption. He will relish in seeing all the rich people burn. Yao and Julio are captured. Sergio wants to kill him but the boss doesn’t want him to be so hasty yet. Julio does not have the key card with him but will gladly exchange it with the money and free all the hostages. So once the money is given and the hostages rounded up at the deck, Julio calls Al to hand over the key card. The boss lets him free but he will let Sergio decide where he wants to go. Sergio wants to duel with him again but sneaky Julio has hidden guns up his sleeves. With both sides injured, they continue their gun slinging.

If you’re wondering where Lu and Kaken are, it is because they are trying to disarm the missile. Can they do it? They’re not rocket scientists, you know. Better be quick because everyone is counting on them. The big boss sets the key card and wants Yao’s dad to do the honours in destroying the city or else he’ll have his daughter shot. Yao is bored with all this and has one of the terrorists hand over her gun. A headshot to the boss and they fire away to the other terrorists. Anthony and George were masquerading as the terrorists. However the big boss is still alive because he is wearing a metal mask and has already pressed the activation. 60 seconds till impact. He takes Yao’s dad as hostage but Yao kept thinking of Nagisa and shoots through dad’s shoulders to reach the baddie’s heart! As the missile is launching, Yao jumps on to ride with Lu for she doesn’t want her to hog the limelight. Ah, so Yao… They reconcile being partners but of course Yao gloats she is the bigger one. Moments before smashing into the city, Yao tries to turn the missile away since it is like a plane. A close shave that almost smashed into the hospital. But it woke up Nagisa. But now it is turning back to the ship. Julio and Sergio’s duel ends when Al bites the latter’s crotch. I don’t know what component Lu ripped out but there was no explosion when the missile crashed into the ship. The ladies safely parachuted down into the sea. Julio passes by them and you bet Yao is angry when he admits he was faking his injury with ketchup just to get her sympathy. It was also as insurance in case she wants to kill him for finding out he used her as bait. Thanks to her, his money is safe. Adios, senorita. No matter how mad she is, she can’t outrun a speedboat. But Julio might be just lying to her since his injury is real. Don’t want a troublesome woman to fall for him, eh? In the aftermath, Nagisa is amnesiac but it is for the best since she is happy and cheerful. Then she got run over by Yao’s car as she is chasing a thief who stole her money! Nagisa instantly recognizes her and vows revenge! Oh dear… Bad times are back… Yao’s dad knows his daughter will kill him if she finds out he invested money in that missile. Better keep quiet…

Police Brutality!
As silly and sometimes annoying as it comes, I have to admit that I enjoyed this series overall. Not to say that I set my expectations low nor did I set it in a way that it surpasses them. But at the end of the wacky ride, I am very much entertained with all the absurdity and nonsense. And going by that itself, I think it is already a pretty good job for a ‘retro’ anime that premiered back in 2000. And perhaps a sequel was never warranted because Yao already ‘killed off’ the big baddie when he is giving his typical villain monologue that he will return for the second or third time just to shut him up so she can celebrate her victory. That is how big of a badass Yao is that no super villain can usurp her! But I guess not badass enough to warrant her own spin-off series… Whoops! Shouldn’t be saying that or it will give her the wrong impression…

Making the series work is of course the cop pair of contrasting personality. I suppose that is why many movies and series that fall under this genre work well because of the funny and strange interactions they make. They become the strange bedfellows and so bizarre their cooperation in getting things done, sometimes lady luck has no choice but to smile on them and make things go their way. Of course there are times when such pairing becomes generic and ubiquitous and that ultimately bring the show down to its knees. Thankfully it isn’t the case here because with ‘amazing’ main characters, you won’t be bored in seeing how they go about solving crimes in Miami. Well, sort of. I wonder even if the duo have saved Miami, would it be a curse because now the duo will continue being rampant. If it was destroyed, everyone could have forever ‘rest in peace’. No more worries of crimes and police incompetency. Yeah, and where would the fun be, right?

Of course the biggest win and fail of this series goes to Yao who is no doubt the show stealer (I think she wants it to be that way either). She is like a double edge sword. She is the freaking culprit who wreaks havoc upon the city and solves them. Well actually more of the former and if the latter ever happens, it isn’t entirely in a good way. Yao is exactly the kind of character you would love to hate thanks to her spoilt carefree b*tchiness that just annoys you with no end. Despite that, ultimately you cannot bring yourself to hate her and the most find her amusing either since she does make you laugh with her silly and unconventional dumb luck. It is hard to say whether if the city would have been better off without her since he does what she wants just because she has 2 cents more, doesn’t listen to others (just because she has 3 cents more) and takes the law into her own hands all for the sake of her own glory and centre of attention. Nobody will ever outshine her ever! Makes you feel like you want to beat up a b*tch, eh?

Especially her trademark quote each time a case is solved (or so she thinks), “Justice is served!”. Yeah. Whose justice may I ask? Without her, Miami would have been such a boring place and a breeding ground for criminals because if you think about it, the police force is such a bunch of unmotivated f*ckers and if you want to wait for proper procedures and not barge in first like Yao, the crime is already dusted and done. Therefore I believe her motto would be shoot first, ask questions never. You go girl! Yao isn’t entirely a b*tch since she does have a rare human side although it is her misplaced blind friendship loyalty to Nagisa. When her so called best friend takes the fall, you can see the change in her eyes that she really means business and serious in taking down the culprit. So do you still love or hate her? Or both? Despite her outrageous behaviour and clashing personality with Lu, don’t you think she has a soft spot that she cares about her? Maybe she is just being tsundere the wild way? Anyway, despite having some humane side, she is more of a wild beast at other times. After all, who would Yao be if not her b*tchy self? And I don’t think would have it any other way either.

Ah, where would Yao be without the ever serious and calm Lu? I’m sure you have noticed that there are a handful of times that if not for Lu, Yao would have been dead meat. Despite her deadpan face, in addition to be the brains and solving pieces of the puzzle, Lu also has her ‘funny’ side as she mostly plays the rebuking role to Yao’s antics and stupidity. Sometimes you wonder with her emotionless face and expressionless speeches, was she born with that kind of looks or has the hard biting crime reality of Miami got to her. You could also say that Lu has a soft spot for her partner and deeply cares for her. There are times when she genuinely cries over her if you noticed. Just like Yao, she just doesn’t show it or say it upfront. Is she being tsundere too? Ah well, relationship between women, so complicated that men just can’t understand! Haha!

Other side characters are funny and memorable in their own way. Though, I believe not memorable enough to hog away the limelight from Yao. Like Clarence who is always stressing out as the chief cop over Yao’s outrageous behaviour that costs money for repairs and at the expense of the police’s image. It still boggles me that with all that stress, how come his afro hairstyle is still thick and black. Because at this rate, he should be losing them all by pulling them out. I don’t know if he will look menacing as a bald chief but this afro only enhances his comical joker role. This guy could be a stand up comedian if he isn’t working in the police force. Then there is Kaken who doesn’t really make an impact in the show overall and even if she does, it is her wacky inventions that aren’t useful in a practical sense but they do serve their purpose at least for their little role in the episode. For instance, that handy detector that detects the smell of Yao’s socks and shoes. WTF. Jii is a mysterious guy because aside from serving as Yao’s butler, he is known to wear so many hats in the past that it is like he was everywhere and done everything before. Who is this guy who is a killer with the ladies?

Julio serves as the cool mysterious hero who aids our Miami Guns from time to time. So cool that it makes me wonder if he is some sort of wolf in sheep clothing because you can’t tell what is on his mind although his track record sees him helping out Miami Guns directly or indirectly. Is he friend or is he foe? Maybe they want to put in some little romance in addition to the comedy, drama and action so little hints of Julio x Yao although it amounts to nothing. That guy is a smooth con operator after all. Heck, I even though it could be turning yuri with Yao x Lu but that didn’t happen either. But there was certainly Anthony x George gay time! Yikes! To complete the cliché, you need a pet mascot and as silly as Al the alligator look, you can’t dismiss how cute it looks, right? Awww… So cute!

Nagisa’s stress in ridding of Lu is similar to Clarence. Just that she is on the opposite side of the divide. Her attempts to get revenge on her always backfire. Sometimes it is cruel to think that it is divine retribution for this ‘bad girl’ to want revenge but that even badder girl gets away scot free without even knowing what hit her. Don’t you just feel sorry for her? And when she tried to take her life that becomes the catalyst for Yao to change herself and take action, I’m not sure if I should feel pity for her since due to the nature of this anime, you shouldn’t be feeling any love lost for any of this sort of characters. At the end of the series, her role in the series as the bad luck girl is cemented because with her getting her ugly memories back, you can bet that as long as Yao lives, she will never have peace in her life (not that she can rest in peace even if she’s dead because I believe her soul will always be in torment). She will always bear the brunt of Yao’s atrocities so long she continues to remember this wild monkey girl.

Also making this series funny in addition to the outrageous and nonsensical stuffs Yao pulls off, his the several parodies that this series makes references to. Sometimes I feel that the visual style of the title of each episode is a giveaway on the kind of parody it will refer to for the episode. You can spot references from Friday The 13th, Saturday Night Live, Die Hard, Initial D and even Neon Genesis Evangelion peppered throughout the series. On this topic of parody, after watching the series, it occurs to me that the biggest irony that the setting of this Miami city in this anime isn’t exactly the real Miami city in USA. If you think about it, you can spot the vast difference between both cities. Like this series’ Miami is set near the mountains and deserts unlike the everglades and seaside. What about the people that seemingly look and talk like Japanese? Because if you consider Florida as the nearest state to the Caribbean, shouldn’t you see more Hispanics instead? If you are sharp enough, you will see the store signs are in Japanese instead of Spanish (real life Miami has many signs in this language) and this city is right hand drive instead of left. Oh, did you notice this too? Miami has its own currency! With all this ‘facts’, it feels like they have only taken Miami in name and nothing of the real city resembles anywhere close to it. I thought there was a town in Japan called Miami, you know, something like that town called Obama, but nothing of that sort.

There is a handful of delicious fanservice although don’t expect it to be spamming you every five minutes or so. Seeing Lu getting her clothes snipped away and dangerously revealing her undies or just Yao who has no qualms running around in her panties (basically that is what the entire final episode has her dressed in) because it means the more people looking at her, the more she is at the centre of attraction. It would be such a waste not to flaunt that hot bod of hers, right? If you have it, flaunt it! We guys couldn’t agree more. Funnily, I read that Al is supposed to be a perverted little alligator. I don’t remember seeing him being perverted in subsequent episodes after his debut in trying to peak into Yao’s panties (lack of screen time, I guess), but in the opening credits, you can see this little green creature cheekily fascinating over our main characters’ panties in some scenes. I wonder if he is planning to steal Yao’s panties. Oh, art and drawing you ask? Feels pretty okay especially for a 2000 era anime. Nothing to complain. Some scenes using CGI. Pretty okay too for that era although it looks pretty dated right now.

As said Yukari Tamura was the seiyuu that sealed the deal for me to watch this series, being familiar with her trademark squeaky voice, I was expecting her to be in Yao’s role. To my surprise, she plays Lu instead. This is not the first time I have heard pulling off such emotionless character role like Saku in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes, Ringo in Nourin and Ichigo in Onegai Teacher and of course that suspicious Lemon in Ano Natsu De Matteiru. Instead, it is Megumi Toyoguchi who plays that carefree Yao instead. Playing vast character roles throughout her anime career that includes Meg from Bakuretsu Tenshi, Revy from Black Lagoon, Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist, Chifuyu from Infinite Stratos and even a very similar character to our Yao in the form of Ran of Super GALS, she definitely does sound fitting to her role. So instead of being disappointed of not hearing Yukari Tamura’s trademark voice, I have somewhat perfectly settled into their portrayed characters.

The rest of the other casts include Akira Ishida as Julio (Zeref in Fairy Tail), Rie Tanaka as Kaken (Suigin Tou in Rozen Maiden), Chiaki Osawa as Nagisa (Tamami in Tenshi No Shippo), Mitsuru Ogata as Clarence (Issei’s father in High School DxD series) and Tomomichi Nishimura as Jii (Anzai in Slam Dunk). On a trivial note, I found out that Yukari Tamura is also the voice of Al but that little alligator doesn’t have any real lines but make cute squeaking sounds so I guess I didn’t recognize her. Heh, I thought alligators roar? The opening theme, Seeds by Lastier is a solid rock outfit that gets you into the pace of what to expect from this series. The ending theme on the other hand sounds a little groovier although Kiseki No Shiro by Epidemic would ultimately be another rock piece. Not bad actually.

Overall, remember not only to leave your brains at the doorstep but also your moral values if you want to watch and enjoy this silly yet satisfying police series. If you want to call it that. A fun buddy cop series made even more fun by the fact that our main duo are females as opposed to the predominantly male stereotypes of this genre. In a nutshell, a fun and wacky ride that will leave you pleased in your guilty pleasure and escapades. Justice is served. With a police officer like Yao in the force, will your city be safe or dangerous? It’s too close to call. But be sure of one thing. Stay the hell out of her way and don’t cross her path if you would love to see tomorrow’s daylight. I suppose in today’s time the slightest misconduct from the police would send the public enrage and putting up protests all over the place. If Yao really existed, she could have beaten the crap out of all of them and then claim all the glory for quelling the nuisance. Yeah, I figure that is why sometimes we close an eye and let incidents like this slide. Justice definitely not served.

Tantei Kageki Milky Holmes TD

November 28, 2015

OH YEAH!!! THEY’RE BACK!!! It is good to know that our adorable dummies detectives are back for a third season (fourth, if you considered that side spin-off as the third). Therefore I couldn’t really wait to get my hands on Tantei Kageki Milky Holmes TD seeing the ‘amazing’ kind of track record they have. Oh yeah. Milky Holmes. The name that rings shame and disgrace for true detectives all around the world in real life or fiction but brings joy to all those who enjoy their silly antics (like yours truly) as they stumble their way to become the world’s greatest detectives. And I hope they’ll take many more years for that. Haha! So, will they become True Detectives or will they become Totally Dummies at the end of it all? Isn’t that what TD is supposed to mean? Oh heck, I can’t wait any longer. Bring on mah dummies!

Episode 1
Fans are enjoying the idols’ performance when suddenly they cannot sing anymore! Even baffling is that all records of their voice are missing from CDs, tapes, files, etc. Could this be the job of a phantom thief? Phantom Thief Empire? Well, a personal call from Arsene reveals they don’t steal music. And so Kokoro takes it upon herself to find the culprit before her eternal rivals Milky Holmes does. She and her partner, Keiko are now suspecting Marine Amagi who is the most popular idol in the country now. Especially her Song of Miracles which is billed as the top song ever. As explained by her Producer and Manager, Marine possesses Toys that allows her Elements to take physical form. They have the ability to attract people who listen to it. As Marine has been singing this song with her Elements since young, there is no way she could be the culprit. Further observation on Marine shows that she is a kind hearted person among her peers. During her live concert, the same tragedy strikes. How can somebody steal her ability right in front of all the cameras and fans? In fact, all of her Elements have been stolen too. Feathers thought they can help but here comes those bumbling Milky Holmes! They know who the culprit is! Who?! KAZUMI???!!! WTF?! She is arrested and sent to prison! Meanwhile Marine’s fortunes turn for the worst. As she cannot sing, she retired and started appearing in variety shows but that itself didn’t make her go anywhere. Manager thought she should do something else but Marine has always bent on only becoming a singer. That is why she will swallow her pride and quit. I don’t know if Kokoro is making a joke because she says if Marine retires, she’ll arrest her?!

Then Milky Holmes pop up to announce that Manager is the real culprit behind this. She forced Marine into a corner and stole her confidence. Something about this lovely figurine of poor Marine that will be selling like hot cakes. Wow. So cute. Let me have one! Ahem… Manager shows her true colours but even surprising is Melodia, one of the Elements popping out from her cleavage. Melodia then challenges them to play a game with her. In this alternate dimension, if they win, they can have Marine back or else she will stay here with Melodia forever. So in this silly obstacle race, Milky Holmes do all they can to win it. Don’t even ask about that silly logic because Manager had bigger boobs that makes her float so the rest sting themselves to ‘inflate’ certain parts and do the same. In the end, Sherlock wins in. Kokoro is about to arrest Manager but Melodia says it is not her fault. When Elements were stolen from Marine, they were sucked into the person closest to them. Melodia couldn’t understand why but she felt she wanted Marine all to herself. Manager admits she did try to push Marine hard and because of those feelings it made Melodia go berserk. With Melodia returning to Marine, they notice her voice returns a little. This means if they gather back all her other Elements, she’ll regain her voice again. When Marine lost her Elements and Song of Miracles, she gave up but Milky Holmes taught her never to do that. Wait a minute. Those bungling detectives teaching somebody lessons in life? OMG. The world is going to end?! Yeah, they don’t even remember the incident where they lost their Toys, live in an attic and all those shameless stuffs…

Episode 2
Kazumi is finally freed from prison… See how much life it took out from her? You better sincerely apologize you Dopey Holmes! So they discuss about the other Elements. As Melodia points out, it is impossible for them to live outside humans so they must have been absorbed and living in other people. This confirms it. Kokoro is a big fan of Marine and is drooling while watching her video. Pink Lovely Doom appears before her. Oh God. It is that IQ bragging running joke… Pink Lovely Doom knocks her out. Not so smart now, are you? Milky Holmes thinks the culprit is the one who is jealous of Marine’s songs. Her idol mates are the prime suspects. Holy cow! Manager has brought hundreds of them here! How many of them exactly in this band? They wanted a million members… And Sherlock starts accusing one by one they are the culprit. Damn clones… Producer has a dubbing job for Marine. She accepts the monster voicing role but fellow idol Senna is not pleased because Marine already lost her voice and she hasn’t been fired yet. Does she think doing a movie will help her return? Sorry but Senna won’t help her. Instead, Miki Hojou would gladly help out Marine. Haven’t finished accusing yet, Sherlock? As they head for the audition, suddenly this idol gate crashes. Mayu Hanasaki looks suspiciously like Kokoro… She sings her Perfect Song in which it is so perfect that Dummy Holmes give her a perfect score. Even dumber as they are, they think this weird mascot, Capriccio is an Element. She badmouths Marine cannot sing but since Mayu’s beeper is beeping like Ultraman’s low energy warning, it’s time to go. Later as Milky Holmes try to have Marine name all her Elements (obviously she can’t because there are so many of them), Marine feels sad because she doesn’t want to go back to a place where she is not remembered.

And so the final showdown for the audition pits Marine and Mayu in a wrestling ring. Nero becomes the commentator while the rest are Marine’s assistants. Mayu unleashes some handshake power but Cordelia knows how to counter it. Now she fights back with some handmade sweets move to put Mayu out of commission. She is about to target Capriccio but Marine feels pity. In this distraction, Cordelia is owned as Capriccio reveals about the dog-eat-dog-world in show business. Survival of the fittest. Might is right! Marine becomes mad. Idols don’t need power. They need love. And she’ll prove it to her. She transforms into some Sailormoon spoof and with her Idol Shoulder Fist punches Pink Lovely Doom out of the Capriccio costume. Shocked that she is not an Element? Well, she never said she was one. She reveals that her goal is to find the phantom thief who stole Marine’s Elements. For that phantom thief to do that means they must be powerful. It is now a race to see who will find that phantom thief first. With Pink Lovely Doom gone, Mayu’s mask falls off and everyone recognizes her as Kokoro. No memories of what happened? Well, at least Marine wins the audition. Stronger and motivated, she vows to reclaim all her Elements and won’t give up. That’s the spirit. During the monster dubbing sequence, she tries her best to roar but sounds so meek and cute. Can she muster up a real roar? RAAAAWWRRR!!! OMG! She sounds like the real deal!!!!!!!!

Episode 3
Marine and Miki are in some curry promotion shoot. But she has to do several retakes. Getting sick of curry? Milky Holmes has no decency to even try their own curry in front of her. When Producer mentions about some shrines job, Marine instantly accept it. Milky Holmes doesn’t have to come but they insist. Why do they look like they’re here to have fun? It gets worse when Manager screws up their timing because they missed the flight. You don’t think they are here early because their flight is supposed to be at 1pm and now it is 3pm. 10 hour wait? You’re freaking late! No choice, they start trekking through the desert. They miss the only bus whose frequency is only once a day. Milky Holmes starts becoming idiotic as they continue their misadventures. Even more annoying is how they sleep talk about how rich they are. I can understand why Marine is so freaking upset if they are really here to protect her. Yeah, she can’t really believe these girls are detectives. When they reach a local Indian-like city, they learn the prince has some sort of obsession for curry and those who do not satisfy him will be imposed very big tax. First thing Milky Holmes does? Let’s go eat! Can’t work on an empty stomach! But they become scared seeing this magma curry and start pushing it around. Now you see their true colours, Marine? You have every right to be upset and walk out! Dummy Holmes doesn’t want the curry to waste and start licking the ground!!! ALL TOO FAMILIAR!!! Their curry is more important that they realize too late Marine is gone.

Marine conducts her own investigation but the guards capture her and throw her in the dungeon before the prince pops up with some business with her. Milky Holmes sneaks into the palace easily since the guards are pretty occupied in catching a pair of phantom thieves intruding the place. They are Feathers and this is just a diversion. You think those guards care if they are detectives or thieves? Stick ‘em up! With Cordelia’s Toys, they manage to trace Marine in the prince’s throne room. Marine is surprised to hear that Milky Holmes is here to save her and she feels bad for abandoning them. It seems the prince is possessed by the Harmony twins from Elements. As usual, another game on. The one who can make the best curry wins. Milky Holmes gathers the ingredients but because Nero wants to use the sacred cow meat, she gets chopped off! There goes her appearance for the rest of this episode. After both sides finish, the prince starts tasting. The usual super exaggerated effects when he tastes the Harmony twins’ dish. No reaction from Milky Holmes so does this mean the Harmony twins won? Surprised! He announces Milky Holmes as the winner! But why? He lets Marine tastes it and she could taste all the hard work Milky Holmes put in. She realizes this effort was because they never gave up on her. The Harmony twins reveal the prince was not at fault as they were attracted to his power and passion for curry. Of course his strong feelings for it mean they went berserk. The Harmony twins return to Marine and the prince is kind enough to lend his private luxury jet for them to return. They can’t help feel somebody is missing… Oh Nero…

Episode 4
Marine and Milky Holmes get lost in the forest while trying to find a hotel. Don’t ask. Milky Holmes see an old lady passing and thinks there must be a cottage nearby and rushes straight to her. But they end up in a mansion of a lady named Sakiko Kinumiya who claims she has been living here all by herself. She asks for Marine’s autograph since she is a big fan of hers. Actually she is a fan of one hit wonders. Milky Holmes misinterprets what that means and seeing they can live the luxury life, they agree to work for Sakiko by getting all 88 stamps. So we see them participate in variety game show challengers against other one hit wonders in Sakiko’s amusement park. Meanwhile Sakiko and Marine watch them on TV as Sakiko praises the perfect one hit wonder Marine is. However Marine doesn’t want to be that and wants to continue to sing. This irks Sakiko so she imprisons her in an iron helmet trying to brainwash her. Milky Holmes is on a winning streak but have to face a video arcade master. The one who scores the most points in 3 minutes wins. Nero thought she can do a better job but when she realizes she is lagging behind and tries to use her Toys to change the scoring system, it shuts down and reboots. Game over? Suddenly Feathers drop in to help. They claim their chipmunk teeth are magical accessories that allow them to beat any game. Don’t worry. Their hand is so fast that the score keeps adding up at incredible speed to make a comeback win! Milky Holmes wins! Now they need 1 more stamp. Unfortunately nobody knows who the 88th person is since there are only 87 of them. Have they been cheated? Oh, but here comes Sakiko to introduce Marine as her newest one hit wonder member. Suddenly Shout, one of the Elements pops out from Sakiko. They’re going to play a quiz game about rock. I don’t know. They have to choose between food and daily items. What do they have to do with rock? I don’t understand Shout’s explanation either… Oh heck, was it supposed to make sense? In the end, it is a draw. Milky Holmes gets their final stamp and is happy to join Marine in her luxurious one hit wonder life. However Marine has been trying to fight against this. She doesn’t want it to end here and wants to continue singing. Her determination is so great that she breaks out from her iron helmet. She is emitting a light brighter than any one hit wonder. The light of a true star! Shout is impressed with her enthusiasm and returns to her. It is revealed that Sakiko wanted to test Marine’s talent to see if it’s real or not. But thanks to it, Marine knows what she wants now. But Sakiko’s obsession with one hit wonders is true. Because she used to be one and wished that moment could last forever. She kept it all in her amusement park.

Episode 5
Marine will be starring alongside Carol Dodgson in Spygirl 4. Producer thought it will be a good opportunity to show the world she can do more than just sing. However the director sees them and there is a threatening letter to Carol. She is a total b*tch, badmouthing Milky Holmes for not being serious as her bodyguards (because Nero asked for her autograph) and she doesn’t want to be friends with Marine. I guess when you’re a big child star like her, you don’t want to mix with have-beens. Later the director reveals Carol is on the edge right now as today is her birthday but she hates celebrating and wants to continue working. It has been hard for her to work with adults and she doesn’t have friends her age. Milky Holmes didn’t know they are to play stunt doubles and get into trouble in the forest, running into a bear and falling off a cliff. But it seems Milky Holmes isn’t goofing around. The autograph Nero got, they have analyzed it and realize the perpetrator is the same. Shortly, Kokoro is called to the scene because the director receives another threatening letter. Milky Holmes has Carol follow them into the forest. Suddenly Sherlock points a gun at her and tells her she is their hostage! What gives?! Then they got hide in some cave as Feathers give them some delivery goods. Milky Holmes happily dancing around the bonfire? Marine is sorry for what is happening to Carol although she has no clue what Milky Holmes is up to. Carol scorns her for losing her ability to sing. She’d rather die than go through that. Looking at Marine pisses her off because it reminds her of her future self. She grabs the gun to fire a warning shot but it’s fake. Turns out this is a surprise birthday party Milky Holmes planned. Carol is not happy. She doesn’t want to celebrate. Milky Holmes is puzzled that she wrote a threatening letter to herself. They think she has been working so hard every day and can’t make friends or even celebrate her birthday.

She admits she did write that letter but it’s not because she doesn’t want to work but to ensure her status as an eternal star. She was going to disappear forever after filming but now she’ll take all of them along with her. Then one of the Elements, Rhythmic pops out. In this wonderland dimension, Rhythmic explains time stops here because Carol doesn’t want to grow up. As she is a child actress, she’ll be worthless when she grows up. Marine argues she is wrong and this isn’t what Carol wants. She doesn’t want Rhythmic to steal her happiness. Rhythmic decides to play a game and if they win, they can have her back. So they’re playing a game of jenga. Milky Holmes is going to lose on their turn when Sherlock hypnotizes Cordelia to be a block. It fooled Rhythmic so when it is Carol’s turn, Cordelia is hypnotized back to normal and the blocks crumble. In the aftermath, Rhythmic points out Carol is not the phantom thief. She felt scared that if she can’t be with Marine, she can’t make people happy. Same for Carol. She feared of growing up and relied on Rhythmic. After Rhythmic returns to Marine, Carol talks to her that she often listened to her Song of Miracles when she is going through hard times. That is why she had the director casted her in this movie. But for Marine, after seeing how Carol placed priority in her acting, she realizes she didn’t give her singing the same importance. Therefore no matter how hard it gets, she wants to go back singing. Carol requests for her autograph by Marine can’t give it to her now. Not at least she can sing again. But they can be friends. Kokoro then arrests Milky Holmes because they wrote a dumb threatening letter to pay them a year’s supply of fish cakes and bananas. Yeah, who else could write such a joke?

Episode 6
It must be a bad day for Kokoro. She is sick but still has to go to work since her G4 pals are also out sick. Worse, Milky Holmes is here to visit! Not enough energy for a retort? Keiko suggests cancelling their traffic safety course but Milky Holmes would gladly help out. So they do a poor impersonation of G4 and I don’t think they’re fooling anyone. The kids are not impressed. Even the old guy (who is Arsene in disguise) tells them to do it properly! Milky Holmes sees Producer and the rest watching a video. Did Marine upload a video? No. This is an impersonator. Despite the butt hurt comments, this video has 7 billion views! At this rate she will become more famous than the real one. Sherlock knows who the culprit is. It is Miki! What kind of joke is this?! Thanks to this commotion, Marine finds out about this. Sad girl. Milky Holmes gets cracking on the case. Nero calls Feathers to help find out about Nerima Tenkujo, the one who uploaded the video. They finally discover her location. Despite looking like a duplicate of Marine, she is just a plain girl without all that makeup and accessories. Seems Nerima is a big fan of Marine and believes she must make more videos for her. Besides, she is not doing anything illegal and the site she uploads the videos have permission to use her music. The real Marine pops up and she believes it is not Nerima’s fault as it was herself who lost her Elements to begin with. Nerima starts talking crazy that since everyone has forgotten Marine ever since she lost her singing, she will become famous in her place. All her fans will love her in her place! Sherlock throws a tantrum that this will make Marine feel sad so Nerima throws down a challenge. She will upload a new video tomorrow. They will also upload a video and if they can get more views than hers in a week, she will delete the videos. If they lose, they will resign as detectives. They think being a video star is easy, huh? Well, Sherlock’s Kamaboko walking through a box only nets her double digits. Same case with the rest on filming whatever that was. At least Hercule got 10,000 views because she was unintentionally reading a fairytale in an erotic way! Plus, it was tagged as an adult video.

Nerima is glad those Dummy Holmes are no match for her. She has already amassed a billion views. But she sees the people talking about a new video that is all the rage. It is Marine dancing. Even more worrying is she has gotten over 900 million views. Nerima then decides to use her secret weapon. By pressing F5 key, she will refresh the page and add to the views! But nothing happens. That is when Milky Holmes caught her in the act. They have replaced her keyboard with all F5 keys! They knew she was the culprit after noticing her F5 key has been worn out. Nerima becomes upset. One of the Elements, Dancing pops out. Time for another battle. They thought it is going to be a dance battle but it turns out whoever can be a real boy wins. Dancing transforms Nerima into a girly boy to flirt with Nerima. Could have almost stole her heart had Milky Holmes not snap her out of it. Not it is their turn, Nero could have fitted the part well but they decided to pick on Hercule and turn her into a guy. That banchou outfit is so unconvincing. However Hercule makes her move. She isn’t just being a real boy. She is manly! Look at her Adam’s apple! Well, actually the cough cold deepened her voice since Hercule caught a little flu from Kokoro. Dancing admits defeat and returns to Marine. Nerima laments all she wanted was to support Marine. But Marine has learnt a valuable lesson from this. Idols need their fans to believe in them. Milky Holmes thinks they can make Marine more famous by uploading secret videos of her. You want to know why Marine is embarrassed and has had it with this worthless crap? It is a video of her sleeping. Aww… So cute…

Episode 7
The first thing Marine sees when she walks into office… Milky Holmes arguing among themselves… About lemon and friend chicken… I’ll spare you their argument details. Marine is disappointed because she thought they taught her about getting along at that Indian kingdom but this only puts oil on the fire. Because Nero remembers she was left behind and nobody cared! The argument intensifies… Later Marine talks to Miki about this and Marine is confident she won’t give up yet. That night as Nero goes to apologize to the rest, surprisingly they apologize first. Wow. Friendship back on track so fast. Next day, Nero has some weird rosy dream and when she is wakes up for a bodyguard job, she starts acting girly! Marine thought she could diffuse the lemon-fried chicken problem but to her shock, Milky Holmes doesn’t care about it anymore. What just happened? Milky Holmes will be Marine’s bodyguard as she heads to a TV drama set. She will be starring along with Hiroko Tenma whose beauty has never aged since 10 years ago. There are rumours she might be a vampire. Because so, they think Marine is in deep trouble to be her next victim. As they make their way to the set, they get horrified by Tenma coming out of the coffin. Useless Holmes minus Nero all fainted. Turns out the crew was just rehearsing. When Tenma looks at Nero, something between them click. Once the rest of Milky Homes wakes up, they are shocked to see Nero in a traditional Japanese outfit and she has agreed to become Tenma’s adopted child! It is because she looked like her child she lost a long time ago. Of course they are sad because this would mean the breakup of their partnership.

Of course Marine heard rumours from other staffs that they never knew she had a daughter. Manager heard another rumour that Tenma adopted a daughter 10 years ago but there was a boy she often took along with her to shootings but one day she stopped bringing him. Could it be she is really a vampire? When Milky Holmes goes to see Nero because they miss her (really), suddenly coming out from her is one of the Elements, Poemi. They are going to play a traditional Japanese quiz game. I don’t know how this one works but Nero is taking a great lead. Marine makes a comeback after getting that determined feeling. And then when she answers about being a true mother, Tenma as the host gives her maximum points for her to win the game. When Nero is back to normal, she genuinely apologizes to everyone. Everyone is getting emotional. Group hug! Poemi returns to Marine. Later it is revealed the rumours on Tenma were true. She did have a son and Nero looked very much like him. So she mistook Nero for a boy? The daughter she adopted 10 years ago was her maid. Tenma realizes she has been neglecting her and wants to restart as a true family. Her son somehow left and she treated her as his replacement. This time she’ll be her true daughter. Milky Holmes get brutally honest about Nero’s character and here we go again with their silly argument…

Episode 8
Kobayashi calls Milky Holmes that there has been another case of a stolen Element that is similar to the case they have been working on. This means Milky Holmes and Marine are off to London! They meet Oscar who may look like a pretty boy but is actually a woman. She comes from a family of making the finest tea and her only Element, Noblesse has been stolen on one stormy night. She has her butler, Andrew let them taste the tea. Although it is delicious, Oscar views it is not enough. Ever since Noblesse has disappeared, she couldn’t make the best tea anymore. She feels she doesn’t deserve to inherit the Duke of Twilight title and become the head of the family. Her aunt, Jeanne suggests giving that title up to her goofy son, Nicholas since he is a boy. But Professor Cline Nevalt, the famous tea critic believes that cannot be the case since Elements stay with those who are suited to be the next Duke of Twilight and gender has nothing to do with it. Milky Holmes gets cracking to find Noblesse. That night Marine sees Oscar and cheers him up with her Elements. He notes that having an Element is proof of talent. He felt that because Andrew was always there and tasted the tea for him. Marine mentions about his funny glasses so Oscar laughs. He explains Andrew used to play with her a lot but one day she had an accident and he saved her. This caused severe lost to his vision and if he doesn’t wear glasses he cannot see anything. When Marine goes back, a knight armour threatens the detective to take her friends back or else. But Cordelia comes to save the day as the armour runs away. She knows who the culprit is and calls everyone to gather.

Putting back the armour that was situated in the front hall that everybody can use, it seems only somebody small can fit into this. It couldn’t be Nicholas or Jeanne and the obvious person could be no other than… Cline! WTF?! This guy is wheelchair ridden, can’t you see that?! They believe he is faking his disability and egg him to stand up! Nope. Wrong deduction again! Cline now plays detective. He has Marine remember the knight’s words. He mistook her for a detective and miscalled her Hercule. It is obvious, isn’t it? It is no other than Andrew! So the butler did it, huh? He has to take off his glasses to don the tight armour. Noblesse then pops out from Andrew. She wanted to relieve Oscar of her burden. Now they’re going to play a game. If Milky Holmes can get out of this living maze, she’ll return to Oscar. They have a time limit and the maze can change. Cordelia sees some plant eating bugs in Cline’s hands and uses it to make the maze open a path to Oscar. Noblesse tries to stop them but Marine summons her Elements to make a beeline to reach the finish line. Noblesse reveals Andrew did not steal her. On that stormy night, she went to hide in him so as to relieve Oscar’s burden of being the next head. But Andrew feels responsible. He is always jealous of Oscar and Noblesse being together. He thought she would love him if Noblesse was gone. Oscar cannot believe this and fires him. After all these years and he doesn’t know her feelings. Oscar believes Noblesse chose him that night. Andrew hugs her, will quit has her butler and make her his wife. Everyone enjoying this romantic drama? At the back, it seems Cline can actually walk but he is Kobayashi in disguise.

Episode 9
Cordelia suggests using Ouija Board to help find the next Element. Wow. Is it really working? Because it point to some casino island and a new international casino branch to be opened by Scarlett Ohada. With the hospitality of the prince (Milky Holmes pigging out his curry meal), they make their way there and the moment they land, Sherlock is being struck by some android girl, Ann Gardy. They attend the opening ceremony as Milky Holmes uses Ouija Board to find the Elements but since it predicts numbers for them, Milky Holmes becomes greedy and starts gambling. Marine meets Miki who is here to do an opening gig. Marine then sees Milky Holmes being taken away because when their winning streak turns into losses, they start borrowing from loan sharks to repay their debt. And they kept losing… Noir the Black Dealer wants to play a game with Milky Holmes as instructed by Scarlett. They thought if they can beat her, the debts will be erased. Nope. Element Decrescendo pops out from Noir. If she loses, Decrescendo goes back to Marine otherwise Noir will take all of her Elements. First they play poker. Noir is confident her four-of-a-kind will win it since Milky Holmes only has weak hands. But she didn’t expect Marine to get a Royal Flush! Next game has cards with girls claiming they are 17. But one of them isn’t. Which? Marine is going with her guts but she accidentally sneezes and picks up another one. This proves to be the correct card. Wow. Such incredible luck. In the final game, Marine must walk across a panel in which certain tiles are loose. If she falls down, it’s game over. Noir believes she will lose because a column of tiles are all loose. However Marine jumps over and wins it. Marine and Milky Holmes hurry back as they want to catch Miki performing. Noir laments her failure to Scarlett. Although Scarlett says she has fulfilled her duty and was no match for her unnatural luck, Scarlett views Noir as useless and wants her to leave. This is her only home. Where is she to go? Not her problem. If you’re wondering where Ann has been all the time? She’s been playing the slots and has won buckets loads of chips! This is enough to repay Milky Holmes’ debts! Scarlett then makes a surprise announcement that there is going to be a wonderful show and needs Marine’s help. Once she goes up on stage, the roof opens and Marine is sucked up along with Scarlett into the ominous sky.

Episode 10
Noir explains Scarlett is now on the floating island that was once created by some super civilization. Scarlett has been strategically opening her casinos so that it could channel its power to this casino island to summon the floating island. There is a Levistone on that island with incredible luck that those who possess it will never have bad luck ever. Scarlett plans on ruling the world with it but to get that stone, you need incredible luck and who better than Marine has that. The catch is, in the process Marine’s psyche will be destroyed while Scarlett will be unharmed. But how are they going to get up there? Ann has a special dimensional hole inside her locket that will allow them to get there (the floating island is filled with flying sharks so it’s impossible to get close via plane). Ann reveals she is a guardian of that place and it is here duty to prevent any sort of awakening. Since a great effort of concentration of bonds is required to keep the hole open, Hercule, Nero and Cordelia stay back to let Sherlock, Miki, Noir and Ann float up. However Scarlett’s henchmen are here to break that concentration. Fear not. This is where Feathers comes in to help. Once on the floating island, Scarlett lets loose traps to keep the girls at bat. During a robot attack, Ann takes damage and it exposes her mechanical arm. Though, she can still function like normal. Once they reach the main room, Noir tries to convince her mother to let her find Levistone for her. However Crescendo the Element pops out from her. They deduce she has been attracted by Scarlett’s greed. Time to play a game. Sherlock and Scarlett engage in a Yugioh card game parody with nonsensical and crazy moves. Sherlock wins at the end but Scarlett continues attacking them. Shouldn’t Crescendo be back to them? They think Scarlett’s greed is so great that it is forcing to keep Crescendo by her side. Miki then uses a bold move to grab Crescendo away from Scarlett. Scarlett reverts to normal and Crescendo returns to Marine. Everybody leaves the island but Ann won’t. She will stay here and be on standby till her next mission. Sherlock is sad since they have already become friends. Ann says goodbye but Sherlock corrects her it should be see you again. Ann returns to her pod and goes into slumber mode while Sherlock with tears in her eyes holds Ann’s locket.

Episode 11
The media hounds Miki and ignores Marine. But something else bugs Marine. When Miki grabbed Crescendo, she noticed she used her Toys. Could it be? Because that phantom thief who stole Marine’s Elements popped up, Kokoro is upset that the media has such information and the police didn’t! My, slacking aren’t we? So she orders to do a search for all the people at the casino having Toys. Yeah. There are so many of them… Keiko stumbles upon Miki’s data and they see something… When Producer has a new song for Marine, she won’t sing it till she gets all her Elements back. Marine tells Milky Holmes about her mom who wrote the Song of Miracles. Though she passed away when she was 6 years old, it holds many memories. Milky Holmes suggests they look around places Marine went with her mom. So at the outskirts of a town where she used to live with her mom, Milky Holmes mistaken this landlady to be Marine’s mother! Weren’t they listening? Inside a closet, they see a scribble of Marine and her mom. Marine insists she didn’t draw that but they discover something shocking: Miki is also in that drawing. That is when Marine remembers Miki is a childhood friend and used to play a lot together. How could she have forgotten? Even more shocking news: Miki in a TV interview announces that she will be going solo and sing the Song of Miracles. So Marine returns to the city to confront Miki. Miki never said anything because Marine was a big star and hard to approach. Now that she remembers, Miki says the song belongs to them. Marine knows Miki is the one who used her Toys to steal her Elements. Miki admits her Toys is separation and uses her power on Marine to make her start back at square one again.

Miki is about to perform live on TV when Kokoro barges in to arrest her but is quickly restrained by the staff. Not even Milky Holmes can save the day. Who can then? Elements! How can this be? Although Miki broke their bonds once, Marine came back for them. Their bond has been revived and stronger than ever. Marine knows Miki has her final Element. After Miki transforms into her phantom thief form, out comes Amore. She is the one controlling Miki and the true perpetrator of everything. It all started when Marine and Miki first reunited. Amore hid inside Miki and controlled her. Amore believes that Song of Miracles is holding Marine back. This is the song that always got her back because Amore is the core of this song. As long as she has this song, she cannot overcome the obstacle before her and she wanted to set her free. Milky Holmes argues she is wrong because Marine never gave up. She is now much stronger than before. Marine proves that by singing Song of Miracles without any help. She thanks everybody for helping her. The Song of Miracles now does not belong to her alone. It belongs to everyone who loves it. After Marine and Miki reconcile, Amore notes she has matured and returns to her. This miracle snows down some light sparkles all over the world. Conveniently, Keiko uses her Toys to erase everyone’s memories so we are back at square one as they watch the live performance of Marine and Miki.

Episode 12
Miki has quit and with Marine making a comeback concert, lots of people are trying to book her to perform. Did Manager screw up and double booked her? Milky Holmes feels sad that their bodyguard job for Marine will soon be over. Don’t despair. She hasn’t forgotten about you dummies detectives. She sends them tickets to her concert. Kokoro is all geared up with all the stuffs to cheer on Marine. Only one problem: No ticket! Milky Holmes gets a call for a job that Pink Lovely Doom is on the loose. So they go chase her and I think they’ve got batteries lasting longer than the Energizer bunny since they run everywhere till Pink Lovely Doom feels Kokoro’s stress is gone and returns whatever counterfeit money plate to them. All that is left is Marine’s concert, right? If they don’t get another call for a job… Oh, the handphone rings… Trying to feign there is no such number? There is only one thing left to do: Milky Holmes, split up! So we have Sherlock chasing some piggy phantom thief, Cordelia helping an old man find his missing glasses in his mansion, Nero herding sheep and Hercule babysitting. Their job goes into overtime like Cordelia ending up cleaning the old guy’s mansion only to realize the glasses were on his head all along! Sherlock corners the phantom thief and her true identity is… Twenty! OMG! The pervert is back! Not just him. Stone River, Rat and Arsene too! Is Sherlock outnumbered? Her comrades finish their job in time to reunite and make this a fair fight. So we see the detectives and phantom thief duke it out as Marine concert gets underway. I don’t know how in a jam packed stadium, Marine can see that Milky Holmes didn’t turn up at their seats. Maybe she knows where they’ll be seating but do you know how big the stadium is? And Milky Holmes didn’t get the front seats… Milky Holmes’ battle has them take on giant Arsene (don’t even ask how this happen) and they combine their Toys to summon lightning to shrink her down to size (don’t even ask about this one too). Arsene is glad to see they have improved a little and decides to let them off for tonight (since Kokoro and the police are coming). But will Milky Holmes now make it for Marine’s concert? They thought it is over when they arrive but suddenly the place lights up again. Hey. Everybody waited for them?! Who are they? VIPs? Well, at least to Marine because she is thanking the super sleuths who helped her find what is most important to her. Wait a minute. Milky Holmes has a part to sing in Marine’s final song? Now guest artists, huh? And what better way to end it all with snippets of their past adventures together. How anti-climatic…

Elementary, My Dear Milky Holmes
Erm… Uhm… What… Well… Okay… If I had to sum up about this season in a couple of words, it would be toned down. Although Milky Holmes is generally silly but it seems they fare much better than in their previous seasons because they are not as dumb as they were when we first know them. I supposed we need to show how Milky Holmes have ‘grown up’ and graduated from their academy because you realize the setting isn’t in their Holmes Detective Academy. Teaming up with an idol to help recover her lost Elements may provide a little deviation from the usual formula of Milky Holmes cracking cases to catch phantom thieves or get back their Toys (the main goal in the first two seasons). However the format of Marine and the detectives going around to find Elements, meet different people, get into some trouble, get into some challenge, learn some valuable lesson (sort of) and having the Element coming back to Marine feels like a repetitive one. In fact, each episode almost felt like fillers although they are still connected. And that kind of ending… Must the most boring ever. Sing a song with an idol to close the season. Since when did Milky Holmes become a musical genre?

Sometimes I feel that because of how less funny it was, it sometimes makes the overall story and for each episode feeling somewhat forced and if I should say, a little boring. I mean, don’t you just feel the irony that the world’s best idol is only able to sing thanks to her little Elements? Sure, it is to showcase her ‘journey’ of learning some lessons in friendship, trust, love (and anything else you can add here) but I hardly doubt that those who watch this series are in for that kind of theme. We are here for the exaggerated nonsense that made this series so lovable in the first place. We know it was stupid or doesn’t make any sense but we loved it. Without all that, the toning down the comical stupidity in favour of something a little serious and soul searching and self discovery for the main character has proven to be a big mistake after all. The laughter is toned down and in a way feels forced. Yeah, I noticed I ‘laughed’ because it was supposed to be ‘funny’. Or so I think. Well, I definitely think it was better when the story had a piggy lard boy turned god trying to take over the world instead of a soul searching idol no matter how ridiculous the former was.

One of the biggest reasons that this season is very much toned down is Milky Holmes themselves. As I have said, they are still dummies but not in a way that they can be called retarded and useless anymore. It is with mixed feelings seeing them stray away from their usual behaviour as we once knew them. It is good to see them being more responsible and useful (cough, cough) now but on the other hand, they are less funny. That’s right. This season Milky Holmes did not make me laugh as mad as before. Although there is this supposedly running joke that Milky Holmes always makes the wrong deduction and like Sherlock quick to accuse the wrong culprit, it still doesn’t match to past season’s funniness. Get what I mean? They’re funny only because of my past perceptions and memories of them so when they do something silly even though it may not be funny, my natural reaction is to laugh.

I remember Nero was being such a very ‘spiteful’ character thanks to her greed and selfishness but this time around, it is good as nonexistent. Hercule was supposed to be the brains as I remembered it but she rarely displays any of that here. What about Cordelia breaking down and going into her fantasies? Nada. I don’t know, deep down I thought without all that, their charm is somewhat lost. It is like as though they are a different set of characters only using the Milky Holmes name and looking like them. Also, Milky Holmes seems to have gotten their Toys back although they rarely use it. Heck, Toys are hardly used here. Despite the final fight with Arsene has them displaying their Toys only once, it felt force because as though it is to remind us that they have such powers in the first place. Yeah well, like you girls said right at the end, I hope you all try harder on your next case next time. If there will be next time, that is.

Another factor could be the absence of Phantom Thief Empire. They are reduced to pathetic cameos. Without Arsene and her henchmen, somehow the fun has been reduced. Because no matter how disgusting a certain nipple erecting guy is, it is always never dull to see that pervert get full of himself (that includes stripping). I mean, Phantom Thief Empire was the one trying to bring out the best in Milky Holmes but it also brought out the worst in them. How would Milky Holmes get better (or worse) without them around? So with this season the loli detectives totting around the world with an idol, it feels this group of phantom thieves are sorely missed. I know they want new characters and storyline but something tells me Milky Holmes isn’t the same without Phantom Thief Empire. Therefore the final fight with them in the last episode feels forced just to remind us that they are still around. Or it could be to pass time because you don’t want to be bored if the entire episode is about Marine’s concert and that would be like stealing the limelight from Milky Holmes which is a big insult since this series is named after them. Even if we are surprised that they get a few more minutes of screen time seeing that they are missing for the big part of this season, we are certainly not amused. Like as though this forced appearance and fight is to satiate our nostalgia about them. Didn’t work.

Also greatly absent are the rest of the G4 members. Even worse than Phantom Thief Empire, it is like the producers decided to do away with Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku and ‘killed them off’ with unknown excuses why they don’t even bother to show up for work (maybe they can’t stand Kokoro anymore). Therefore our poor Kokoro is left to do all the work herself with Keiko. You can’t blame that loli police for being so stressed up and blowing her top all the time. Yeah. Kokoro is still amusing and funny in that sense. But I also guess that they don’t want to bore us with that running joke in previous seasons about her IQ and the gold mask whacking reaction each time Sherlock calls her Kokoro-chan. It is kept to a very minimum that if you have not watched previous seasons of Milky Holmes, you won’t really get it or think much about it. Those felt like just to bring up the nostalgia factor for us Milky Holmes fans. I’m not sure about this irony because remember in the OVA, Kokoro became an idol? Here, she seems to be fawning and drooling over Marine at one point as her biggest fan although she might be a secret idol Mayu without knowing it herself. Oh, did she forget? With Keiko around, very likely. Speaking of Keiko, her motives feel lacking rather than mysterious. I thought she was going to be the culprit or antagonist somehow but she’s just playing the observing role.

Other recurring characters feel okay and nothing much. Like Feathers who starred in their own spin-off and Milky Holmes played the supporting role, it is reversed in this season with the duo now acting out the supporting part for Milky Holmes. The case of I scratch your back and you scratch mine? In fact, many of the old characters make just cameo or don’t at all. Like Kobayashi and Kamaboko appearing just for a handful of seconds while Irene, Sonia and Lily (from Alternative) were greatly missing. Not even that bomb disposal unit, Poporo. Remember that Mori Arty villain? She made mysterious motives that made us question her goals even more. Where is she here? Don’t see her anywhere. Did they forget about this character or intentionally left her out? Perhaps it is a good thing that Mori Arty never appeared, otherwise we would be sceptically questioning the purpose of it all.

New characters do not impact much. Marine as the main character feels lacking in many ways. I guess in a way her sudden fall from stardom only shows how cruel and dog-eat-dog-world the idol business may be and then rise back to the top again once she has found enlightenment. Yeah well, whose show is this season supposed to be? I figure Miki resigned to atone for what she did to her best friend and somehow when she was the mastermind or at least co-culprit as the one responsible for Marine to lose her Elements, it didn’t really surprise me because if you want to do a good ‘detective’ show, the culprit at the end must be part of the casts we know, right? It wouldn’t be fair and ethical to throw in a new character that we wouldn’t know. But I didn’t guess it was her because I was thinking it might be Senna. Still remember this girl? No? Don’t blame you. I guess her character was just trolling.

Many of the other side characters just appear for that episode and nothing more is said about them once the plot moves on. Especially Marine’s Elements who just feel shallow. No great explanation as to explain why they are absorbed into a certain person and make their dark personality goes berserk. So it is puzzling when Elements that get absorbed to people very close to them most of the time like Miki and Nero, oddly how come they do not detect them in the first place? For those who got absorbed into others, how come they end up at far flung places like that Indian-like kingdom and a former one-hit wonder in the middle of the woods? Unless they were at Marine’s concert at that time but I doubt they were given the circumstances and everything. And it is odd that after losing a challenge, they return to Marine. That’s it about them. Yeah, we don’t even know why whatever power they have suddenly make their host go wild or their dark side, thus a lame excuse for some challenge that you will know will end in a predictable outcome.

At least the art and drawing remains pretty much the same in the first two seasons. Cute girls everywhere so I can’t see any reason to complain. Almost everything is bright and vivid. In any case, Milky Holmes themselves look much better than their cameo in Futari Wa Milky Holmes. Heck, more accurately they look like they should as before in the first two seasons. Backgrounds and sceneries are okay too and nothing too shabby. At least the chibi illustrations during the sponsor screens are still funny but the final end card illustration seems pretty good although they’re all sketched by the same person, though.

As the familiar casts are retained, new ones join in. The only one I could recognize was Ayako Kawasumi as Producer and Aoi Yuuki as Carol. The rest include Emi Nitta as Marine (Honoka in Love Live), Mari Nakatsu as Miki (Nanami in Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo), Ai Yamamoto as Manager (her debut and only role) and Asami Seto as Ann (Chihaya in Chihayafuru). I know it is a pretty long list considering the other minor characters that only appear for one episode and the rest of Elements but I’m just too lazy to list them all seeing the fact that I have lost my motivation due to my overall sentiments for this seasons. Hah! I’m taking after Milky Holmes’ laziness from previous seasons!

The same quartet behind Milky Holmes sing the opening theme for this season too. Milky-A-Go-Go has that familiar feel to all the Milky Holmes opening themes that you have heard thanks to its lively and cheerful feel. The ending theme is Tankyuu Dreaming by Emi Nitta and of course sounds very much like an idol song. Thanks to the idol theme of this season, there are lots of insert songs and on average, one per episode. Although some are fun to hear, unfortunately they don’t stick very long in my mind. Maybe it is a sign that they aren’t just as appealing?

It is with great despair to see that one of my all time favourite funny, wacky, zany, crazy series has turned out into something mediocre. So sad to see this series has been added to the statistics of sequels failing to live up to its predecessor. How I missed the ol’ days of Milky Holmes. I am not saying that this season sucks as it is still decent in many accounts. It is still okay on its own but it is the comparing with its previous seasons that really dragged it down. If you are an old Milky Holmes fan like me, it is only natural to expect sequels to be greater or at least on par with its previous works. If they ever do another season of this, I just hope they remember to go back to the basics. Yes, Milky Holmes. Remember elementary… Elementary, my dear Milky Holmes.

Shinryaku!! Ika Musume OVA 3

February 13, 2015

OMG! I didn’t know they tried again! Actually I did. Or didn’t. What I meant was I didn’t expect Shinryaku!! Ika Musume OVA to have another volume way back last year in 2014 and even when it did come out, nobody was subbing it and I thought this series was done for. And surprisingly much later some group subbed this and thus I jumped at the chance of watching this third OVA instalment. So it is back to nostalgia memory lane for me and a certain ‘obsession’ with this invader squid girl. Ah yes. Ika girl. You came to show us your failure again, right? Please go ahead. I’ll always be watching with glee.

Part A: Won’t You Help?
With Nagisa and Ayumi off, Chizuru hires a new ‘powerful’ helper since she herself will be off for today. That powerful guy? It’s Owner! So much so Gorou who is always here for Chizuru’s cooking quickly goes away when he learns his beloved isn’t around. But wait. Don’t judge a book by its cover yet. Owner cooks up a pretty wonderful friend shrimp rice. Looks good. When he tastes it, he couldn’t stop eating! He is only lying to himself he needs to finish it because he is so hungry and it is not like Chizuru’s rice would lose to this. Liar. Owner’s cooking attracts more customers till the place is full but there is a seat directly in front of him that customers do not want to occupy. It’s because there is this hideous Ika robot doing the cooking! Who the hell is this clone?! Trying to distract the customers from looking at it, Ika tries to press the remote and switch on the TV. Clone Ika explodes! Now why on earth is there a self destruct button or a function like that?! Well, if there were too many remotes for anything, they’ll start losing the remotes! But the explosion has scared the customers away. Time to go run some errands and gullible Ika is made to do it with a paltry 100 Yen. Look how happy she is… Along the way, she is attacked by stray dogs but saved by yet another hideous Ika clone. More stray dogs surround them as Ika clone goes to subdue the pack. In the end, Owner presses his remote to let the robot explode to send the dogs running away. Do all the robots have this kind of self destruct function? Yeah. It is exactly for situations like these.

Part B: Won’t You Be Found?
This is a surprise. Ika is willing to head to Sanae’s house by her own will! Something is dead wrong. I know Kiyomi is waxing lyrical how good Sanae is but it’s amazing that Ika would even think good of this squid obsessed pervert. And of course we see Sanae’s evil thoughts. Her plan is to make Ika become good friends with Kiyomi. With Kiyomi visiting her often, it will be no time Ika will start doing the same on her own. Then she will hold back no more when Ika visits her alone. Muahaha! Oh yeah. But first, she needs to hide all her Ika goods as not to scare Kiyomi. Oh man. Look at all the Ika memorabilia. Just freaking scary to see everything made out of Ika’s image! Oh f*ck, man! And she can hide it all in her closet? So when Ika and Kiyomi come, her room seems pretty normal and they have fun doing normal things. Although Ika feels something is off (because Sanae is such a nice person), she accepts Kiyomi’s answer that she is not such a bad person. Maybe she isn’t so bad after all. Kiyomi realizes she left something behind and returns. Sanae is now letting loose her Ika obsession as she records down all the things she observed Ika today! Freaking sh*t, man! She can tell how many calories she ate and if there is change in her height! And those hidden cameras… Oh man… She is frolicking in glee with her Ika goods when Kiyomi returns… Oh God. This is the end of her. She foresees Kiyomi will hate her for being such an obsessed Ika fan. Fearing the worst, she tries playing it cool and admits all her Ika collection that she planned to show her (since the cat is out of the bag, why not just tell her everything). When she thought Kiyomi is at the height of her disgust, to her utmost surprise, she is super cool with everything. She is impressed with her and felt like this is the earnest part of her. She wants to see more and Sanae starts showing off this little ‘angel’ her other freaking Ika collection. There is a mini Ika car? I don’t even… When Sanae visits Lemon and brings some of the Ika collection to show Ika how much she is heavily loved (oh, she doesn’t know how deep that love is…), Ika is overcome with trauma and runs away. I guess it’s decided. Ika can never ever deal with Sanae.

Part C: Is That A Policewoman?
Are they introducing a new character? There is this policewoman, Keiko Furukawa at Lemon. Seems there are reports of a suspicious person. Hmm… Sanae… Cindy… The MIT Three Stooges… Yeah… Lots of suspicious people alright. But nobody could be more suspicious than Ika. Keiko is shocked to see Ika using her tentacles to serve people. Nagisa couldn’t be happier that the power of the state is here to arrest the menace. Eiko had to give excuse she is a cosplayer and warn Ika that she might be thrown into prison if she starts blabbing about her invasion plans. Yeah… Ironically it scares the little invader. Ika tries to act normal but here is her first blunder. As she serves Keiko, she accidentally sneezes black squid ink over her! Ika is about to be taken away when the 3 Stooges fool around with their laser beam that turns anything into jelly. Keiko goes after them. Seriously. Can she chase them in that uniform under the sweltering heat? Of course not. So much so she forgot who she was chasing in the first place. Or did the 3 Stooges do something to her? It is suggested she change into beach wear to blend in. Who knows she has those sexy curves and attracting all the stares of the guys. She sees a man bullying a kid and goes to stop him. He doesn’t believe she is a policewoman. She tries to show proof but her badge is in her uniform (something tells me her hands padding her chest and butt in search for her badge are just for fanservice). Here comes Ika to teach that guy a lesson with his tentacles. When Ika learns what a police badge can do, she gets an evil idea to ‘arrest as many people as she wants’. I think she’s getting the wrong idea. But that didn’t stop her from trying to snatch the badge from Keiko. However Keiko threatens to call for back up and this means Ika can be arrested for interfering with officer duties and thrown into prison for 3 years. You willing to risk that? Ika gives the badge back like a good squid. And that’s the end of it. And Ika is now claiming she is an ally of the police? Eiko and Nagisa are disheartened they’re both unreliable…

Still Trying To Win?
Hmm… Nothing much. Still the same episodic standalone filler feel. Ika and her random adventures with the rest of the characters that do not advance her invasion plot, which now feels like a distant bygone goal and memory. Sure, she still wants to invade and teach us humans a lesson but she could hardly get off the ground and fails even before it starts. I fear Ika might be losing its touch… Perhaps the reason why nobody wants to sub this series anymore. Because even though it doesn’t break any new ground, I too have this feeling that the enthusiasm within me isn’t as great as before. I know I said before that I love this formula of this series and would love to see more of it but I guess I’m only human. How things have changed. Not to say that this OVA sucks. I still enjoy it but not as much as before like how I really used to look forward to it. Besides, am I sensing some sort of trend here? Because they are releasing an OVA episode per year. Judging by this trend, there might be another OVA coming out between the middle and the end of next year (which is this year 2015 by the time of this blog). But nothing of that sort is confirmed yet at this moment. I am afraid I might not be as enthusiastic as before when it comes. Nevertheless let’s keep things positive and I hope if there would be one, this series will still get some love for old times’ sake and get subbed. So Ika, if you still want to remain relevant in our hearts for the many years to come, don’t just fail for the sake of failing and make us laugh. That has become old and boring. Fail in an epic unforgettable way that would even make us have no qualms of surrendering and bowing down to your feet without questions. And you don’t need to have a police badge when that happens.

Futari Wa Milky Holmes

June 28, 2014

What in blazes is this???!!! What the hell is going on???!!! What happened???!!! Am I dreaming???!!! Because… WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MAH MILKY HOMES???!!!Those bumbling, clumsy and incompetent disgraceful quartet of loli detectives have become competent and adept!!!! YES!!! You read that right!!! Milky Holmes is suddenly useful!!! Well, actually nothing wrong with that. It is just that we’ve been so used to the awkwardness of Milky Holmes that we have accepted this as the truth of reality so when they really become effective, it’s like they changed everything in the series. It’s like turning One Piece’s Luffy into a responsible and highly dependable leader. Not right, no? Alternative was ‘alright’ since we all were ‘informed’ that it was going to be different (although it proved Milky Holmes shouldn’t be some serious detective show) but this supposedly third season of the Milky Holmes series? Shocking? Where will we get our sadistic kicks of laughing at failing lolis then?

However, Milky Holmes isn’t going to be the main heroines of this third instalment (which takes place a few years later after the second season) because a new pair will be in focus in Futari Wa Milky Holmes. They will be the new team of friends-cum-detective that you will see in solving the crimes and catching phantom thieves in their quest to become the greatest detective as per their dream. So now our original Milky Holmes will be relegated to just side characters and making cameo appearances. Hmm… I wonder if that is a joke itself. Also, the third season’s duration time per episode is slashed in half. 12 minutes for each episode? I suppose they don’t want to bore us with serious detective work without any humorous jokes and gags along the way.

Episode 1
Kazumi Tokiwa meets up with her friend, Alice Myoujingawa for school. Along the way they talk about how cool it would be if they could enrol in Holmes Detective Academy. However Alice’s brother, Shion was dead against it. As long as it is other detective academy except this one. When they see a picture of Milky Holmes in the street, Alice fawns over them because they are her idol and she aspires to be like them. However Kazumi argues that in the eyes of commoners they are deem as legends due to the fact that phantom thieves have been laying low. So the lack of solving cases caused people to think they do not exist. Huh? Of course Kazumi wants to be like them too and thus the reason why they are working hard and aiming to become detectives. Alice praises her for such lofty goals since her parents are also detectives. However Kazumi says it has nothing to do with them. They live separate lives. Father is always busy working for overtime money while she doesn’t even know what mother does and is never home. It’s like they don’t care for her. Meanwhile Kokoro is bored and stuck in traffic enforcement. I guess it’s much better than her Genius 4 pals who are stuck in office doing desk jobs. She also has an apprentice under her wing, Keiko Totsugawa. Then the alert is sound. A phantom thief is sighted at the city museum. At last. Time for some action. However it is also reported that phantom thieves are hitting different parts of the city simultaneously. Kazumi and Alice see a shady guy run pass them. They think he is a phantom thieve and start chasing him. Kazumi uses her bow and arrow Toys but missed. The guy shoots back his beam but Alice’s Toys shields them from harm. This guy thinks he has gotten away but to his surprise is brought down by the real Milky Holmes! But he’s not out yet because his comrades help him escape. Then before the girls, a group of phantom thieves appears. The leader laments that detectives and phantom thieves have been making secret deals behind the scene and thus a shame to those phantom thieves who have ground away their fangs. He believes detectives and phantom thieves will always be the opposite side of justice and crime and never together. He declares a war against the world and those phantom thieves who have sullied their title. This group consisting 7 phantom thieves is called Coloured Phantom.

Episode 2
Although Alice is happy that they got to see Milky Holmes in action, this only makes Kazumi feel sad because she really wants to become like them and help catch phantom thieves. So how? Alice suggests going see them directly. And so a bunch of girls sneak into the academy just to see them. But they hear Milky Holmes somewhat arguing in their room. As they inch closer to eavesdrop, Milky Holmes slams open the door, knocking them out. When they come to, they are in their room and very much happy to see their idols. They’re the graceful and elegant detectives they know. When they mention about their intention to be like them, their reply is to just do it. Although they don’t have a licence yet, what is important is they pick a name for themselves, wear a detective’s uniform and do a Nike. Just do it! After they leave, Milky Holmes ‘crumbles’ from exhaustion because it was really hard trying to put up their graceful act. Tiring to keep up their public image, eh? As Alice’s grandma has made her a detective costume for making it into Holmes Detective Academy, she also requested one for Kazumi. Meanwhile a phantom thief contacts Violet Shadow, the leader of Coloured Phantom for permission to strike and have his revenge against Milky Holmes. He allows it but warns he is on his own and won’t help out. The rest deduces that this dude has outlived his usefulness. And so this shady guy, Red Lion leaves a warning letter as trap for Milky Holmes. However Kazumi and Alice spot him in the back alley in his suspicious activity and go to stop him. He is not convinced with these amateurs and easily overwhelms them. He thinks of using them as bait to lure Milky Holmes but Kazumi won’t be defeated. She gets back up and fires her arrows. Her will to become a great detective is so great that her arrow suddenly becomes a huge bright light. So powerful that it sends this guy flying crashing into the wall! Because feathers are floating down in the aftermath, Kazumi decides to call themselves as Feathers. Kokoro and the police are investigating the scene and baffled why this phantom thief is lying around. She notices a card on his sunglasses which states that Feathers were here. Who?

Episode 3
Kokoro is being interviewed on scene and it’s not so much about Red Lion taken into custody. It’s about who Feathers are and how they apprehended him. She wants them to come down to the station to give a statement. Of course our Feathers duo are ecstatic watching it back at their home. Shion knows Alice is watching this news instead of sleeping. He sighs he should have objected her enrolment into the academy because he views her as a gentle girl and shouldn’t be doing something so vulgar. Even in school, Feathers become a much talked topic among the students. Happy, Kazumi? But the teacher cautions them to get their licence first instead of causing trouble like those fakes who aren’t even nationally accredited detectives. Of course this upsets Kazumi but there’s nothing she can do about it since Feathers are still pretty much a secret. Kazumi has dinner at Alice’s home and while watching the talk show, the people are divided. Some are sceptical that this happened since Milky Holmes didn’t do anything about it. But super sleuth, Ryouko Komatsu vouches her support for Feathers. Suddenly the station receives a video from a Coloured Phantom, Yellow Black Hole. She challenges Ryouko to join Feathers to protect them and will be targeting her detective’s licence that she values more than her life. Shion turns off the TV believing nice young girls like them shouldn’t be watching such violent shows. So the Feathers duo feel somewhat responsible because they got Ryouko involved. They’re going to solve this one. After this little transformation scene that could almost rival a magical girl, they sneak out of the house. Meanwhile Shion is looking through the comments made by other Coloured Phantom about Red Lion’s capture. Oh no… Could it be… Say it isn’t… Okay, it is. Looks like he is that leader of Coloured Phantom. Feathers heard Ryouko’s scream and it seems her licence got stolen. They find her licence outside a warehouse but find it suspicious that the phantom thief would drop it. As they head inside, Yellow Black Hole casts a trapdoor on Alice and causes Feathers to be separated. Kazumi is all alone and faced off with Blue Hunter. However his Toys is replication so Kazumi’s arrows cannot hit his clones. Once she is surrounded, she is overcome with fear and loses her ability to use Toys.

Episode 4
Blue Hunter senses Milky Holmes coming so he abandons the scene. Alice is safely returned. When Milky Holmes arrive, no phantom thief or Feathers around. Kazumi felt frustrated that they had to be saved by them again. They creep back into Alice’s home and it seems Alice’s parents know about it but choose to keep quiet (heck, they left a big trail of curtain hanging out of their window). They don’t want to let Shion know about this too. Depressed Kazumi thinks of seeing Milky Holmes for advice but she sees a never-seen-before stairs. It leads her to a secret library and a forbidden door that she believes contains Milky Holmes records. She learns that Milky Holmes once lost their Toys too and then it hit her that everyone can only have 1 Toys. Elsewhere Alice is at the warehouse scene to investigate. She notices no real trapdoor so it must have been a work of a Toys. However she is made to leave by Kokoro. Ryouko closes her detective agency since she doesn’t have her licence. But it’s in Alice’s hand, right? She won’t give it back yet as there is something she wants to investigate. They follow Ryouko and see her suspiciously trying to trigger something with her PDA. Then Feathers reveal themselves. Ryouko wonders how they escaped the trap. Alice knows the licence is the trigger for the trapdoor and tricked Ryouko by using a bird fly around with it. Birds don’t fall through a trapdoor, right? Because everyone can only have 1 Toys, it wouldn’t make sense that Blue Hunter will have this trapdoor Toys. Ryouko admits she is Yellow Black Hole. Feathers are appalled a phantom thief is disguised as a detective. Kazumi is about to fight her but Blue Hunter arrives to assist his comrade. As he charges, they get into formation when Kazumi’s arrow again grows, blasting away Blue Hunter’s mask, revealing him to be one of the detective talk show’s host. Yellow Black Hole tries to convince Feathers to join them as their Toys are very much suited for phantom thieves. Rejected. She then explains she was once a detective and admired them. But then she realized a mystery that could never be solved. She leaves them hanging with that and escapes with Blue Hunter. Later, Kazumi deduces that it was Alice’s shield that amplified her arrow. I suppose whenever they combine their Toys, this is what happens. Alice wants to be more than somebody who protects Kazumi. She wants to catch phantom thieves with her. Kazumi agrees.

Episode 5
Feathers are handing out flyers to look out for activities that may need their detective skills. However Alice notices a lonely old woman frequenting the bar after alighting the same bus alone and never touches her drink and always seating in the same seat. Kazumi deduces she is a phantom thief. Of course she was just over thinking. So for 5 days they tail her since she got on the bus but nothing suspicious so far. Then one day she didn’t take the usual route and got off early. They tail her to a park where she reveals herself as Yoshie Kawashima, a national spy! Just kidding! She knows they are detectives in training and had been tailing her so she got off early just to surprise them. Of course being detectives, she isn’t going to give a straight answer and they have to figure it out themselves. She only hints that she gets on the bus to see someone. As for why she never touched her drink, she started frequented the bar a month ago and loved some cocktail. However recently the bar master changed the formula and though she tried to talk to her about it, she remained stubborn. So she comes every day to test if the taste would return back to original. Sadly not today. One day, they see her talking to the bar master. She’s acting strangely like she’s never seen her for so long. They tail her to the back alley and confront them. Yoshie reveals this person whom she gets on the bus to talk to is her son (the bus driver) whom she has never seen for a long time (she put him up for adoption when he was young). As they leave to talk, Kazumi tells them to hold their horses. She saw Toys activated when the son introduced himself. He deceived people that way, the reason why the drink’s recipe changed was because he took over the bar master’s place. With the cat out of the bag, the phantom thief reverts to her true form and reveals she was trying to get granny’s fortune. She makes a run for it and tries to throw her boomerang at them. Alice’s barrier deflects it and cuts the rope she was climbing. Left hanging on a pipe, Kazumi finishes her off with their big combo. Boom! Once again, the day is saved thanks to Feathers. In the end, the real bus driver actually turns out to be her son. She never said anything initially because she was preparing herself mentally for it. And now that she is, she finally goes talk to him.

Episode 6
Yellow Black Hole is about to steal some golden panda artefact but was intercepted by the legendary phantom thief of their time, Visconte. He was believed to have disappeared after a great heist 10 years ago. Alice walks Kazumi home after the former had dinner at her place. Kazumi’s dad is worried she came back so late and didn’t call or anything since phantom thieves are getting bolder and more violent lately. Kazumi is not impressed. He’s always at work and they hardly spend time together. Besides, Milky Holmes and Feathers will keep this place safe. Father thinks Feathers are amateurs. Kazumi doesn’t take this insult well so she vows to become a great detective and catch all the phantom thieves. Later that night, Alice calls Kazumi that on the news, Visconte has left a challenge letter that he will steal a diamond that commemorates this city’s founding at midnight. A bunch of police and even Milky Holmes are at the scene. This means Feathers can’t let this chance go. Kazumi sneaks out of the house but don’t think father doesn’t know… Outside the museum is crowded and Feathers can’t get through so they decide to go up the nearest tall building. As the clock strikes midnight, Kokoro starts laughing like a maniac that she wins. That’s what you call counting your chickens. She didn’t think the phantom thief would be a few seconds late, didn’t she? After a couple of policemen drop unconscious, here is Visconte with the diamond in hand. How did he? Ciao, baby. Kokoro orders Keiko to get the chopper to go after him but the apprentice is nowhere to be found. Feathers see Visconte gliding in a glider. They use their combo move to shoot him out of the sky. Visconte spots it in time and avoids. Feathers chase after him but it seems he has already abandoned his glider. He even left the diamond there! A note says that he was so impressed by their Toys that in respect of their courage, he returned the stolen gem! Of course this only serves to piss off Kokoro even more. Damn those Feathers again. But Milky Holmes is singing all praises about their Toys and think they will become great detectives. If you have been wondering that familiar feeling about Visconte, wonder no more because true enough as I suspect, he goes home to his loving wife and they turn out to be Alice’s parents… All in the family?

Episode 7
Alice notices her father’s back a little pain. Shion hints he ‘fell out from the sky’. After she leaves for school, the parents see Shion about his interference in the Beika Hall incident. They guess he is the leader of the Coloured Phantom and that phantom thieves should always conduct themselves with grace. Shion is not amused and is sick of this grace thingy. He asks them what they think of this place now because detectives and phantom thieves should be natural enemies. Father hopes he will understand one day what it truly means to be those. Yellow Black Hole proposes with Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution that her plan will make Violet Shadow happy. Alice shows Kazumi their team’s logo.  As they make way to the printing store, Yellow Black Hole spots them and sets off an explosion at the mall. The duo are then being told by Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution (in ordinary clothes) it was Yellow Black Hole’s doing. They took the bait and went after her. Meanwhile Shion enters Alice’s room and finds lots of crumpled paper in her wastepaper basket. Hmm… You’ll never know what you’ll find… Kazumi keeps finding small diamonds believed to be dropped by Yellow Black Hole. In a straight line? Obviously a trap! Kazumi goes after that phantom thief when she is in sight but Alice knows better that it’s a trap. She uses her shield to block Kazumi from falling into her trapdoor. However her amateur skill causes her to bump Kazumi away. Yellow Black Hole once again tries to coax Alice to join their side and ditch that clumsy oaf. Rejected. Then they combine their powers and zap her. Yeah. Wonder why she was making it so easy to let them zap her as she just stood there. Unknown to Feathers, their data is being collected by Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution. Shion arrives on the scene to see Yellow Black Hole being arrested by Kokoro. She winks at him, a hint that the plan is going well. Of course he didn’t approve of this but there’s nothing he can do now. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution show Shion the data. Now they can defeat Feathers and begin their grand revolution. Shion didn’t know his little sister was part of Feathers, eh? Now he does.

Episode 8
Feathers are surprisingly invited to tea with Milky Holmes. Upon entering their room, they see Sherlock and Kokoro in a childish tussle over, Ellery Himeyuri. She is the director that took over Milky Holmes after Kobayashi. She was once a police but became a detective after learning about Toys. Currently she is on a journey to find her purpose and returned here to check things out. So the childish tussle was about whose place she should stay with. How to solve this problem? Himeyuri goes with Feathers. Problem solved. Sorry Sherlock. Sorry Kokoro. Meanwhile Shion has been acting strange since, locking himself up in his room. Truth too much to handle? He even deleted the data and video so Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution couldn’t do anything about it. This makes their fellow phantom thief, Pink Lovely Doom more interested in Feathers. Himeyuri could guess the duo are Feathers because Kazumi accidentally left their box of name cards on the table. Oops. She won’t tell their secret and wants to learn about their Toys when they get a distress call that another phantom thief has been spotted. Mush Miller from France is running away with his loot and fools Kokoro with his mirror image. He also tries the same thing when stopped by Feathers and Himeyuri. Not even their combo can stop him. Himeyuri wants Alice to use her Toys to trap him and has her maintain putting up some of her barriers. Then she borrows Alice’s Toys and has Kazumi come along with her. She has Kazumi fire her arrows at him as she manipulates the arrows to ring the crook in. Once they tie him up, Himeyuri reveals her Toys is Induction. She can use other people’s Toys and hopes they will forgive her selfishness of using their Toys. She also feels they have great potential in them. Meanwhile Keiko snaps a shot of them and looks up in the database. She is amazed to learn Alice and Shion are related. Well, what do you know? Because Keiko discards her police uniform and her true self is the Pink Lovely Doom! Why am I not surprised? Does this answer the question why she is always not around when Kokoro needs her? Although Alice is particularly happy about Himeyuri’s praise, but Kazumi isn’t because she didn’t acknowledge their strength as a team and was only acknowledging Alice’s strength.

Episode 9
There is some rule that police officers must not have Toys. So when Keiko’s reading goes off the charts, the higher ups want an explanation but she activates her Toys and makes them forget. Shion might be out of his room but he argues with father about letting Alice go to a detective academy. It was funny when sleepyhead Alice walk into the scene unaware of everything so Shion had to put up that perverted big brother act that his little sister is oh so cute to make her feel a little disgust and leave in a rush. Father says that if Alice wants to be a detective, there is nothing he can do about it. But Shion is not going to accept it since their family are phantom thieves. So can he bring himself to fight Alice since detectives and phantom thieves are eternal rivals. They realize too late that Keiko had heard everything. Now she knows their leader is the son of the legendary Visconte but she still needs him as their symbol for the new generation of phantom thieves. Shion is shocked to see Keiko is one of his comrades but nobody can do anything because Keiko unleashes her Toys. She gets away scot free. Kazumi is still reeling from Himeyuri’s words that she’s not focusing. Till the teacher had to tell her Toys reflects the strength of her heart and must believe in herself. Pink Lovely Doom lets the gang know that Feathers are not real detectives and can be dispose of anytime. Besides, they are ready to go ahead with Violet Shadow’s plan to take on Visconte. He himself doesn’t even know he had such plan. Kazumi continues to sulk… Thinking back how much Alice’s Toys is much better than her. WTF. Don’t you believe in your friend?

Suddenly there is a projection of Violet Shadow proclaiming he will steal Visconte’s precious treasure. Keiko is conveniently near Feathers just to tell them Violet Shadow’s location at the tower. All going according as planned. Visconte checks his treasure room and since everything is untouched, it could only mean one thing. His wife wants to join him. Feathers arrive at the tower and see Visconte and Madam Visconte. Alice couldn’t recognize her because she put on a little weight. Wait till you get an earful from mommy… Pink Lovely Doom is here too and notes they are going to take his precious treasure. Visconte warns not to lay hands on his daughter as he orders Madam Visconte to take them away. Kazumi is baffled they know their names. Pink Lovely Doom is not panicking yet and notes Milky Holmes is now on scene. They cut away their only balloon escape so Madam Visconte and Feathers are grounded. Now Violet Shadow comes in. He wants Alice to come with him because she belongs to him. Alice recognizes that voice. He takes off his masks and shocks them over his real identity. He wants Alice to become a phantom thief and promises no one will hurt her again. Pink Lovely Doom relishes everything is going as planned and they’ll gain a more powerful member on their side. But did she count on this? It is Kazumi who begs that she wants to become a phantom thief!

Episode 10
WTF?! Kazumi becomes part of Coloured Phantom?! She is so ‘eager’ to learn the ways of the phantom thief? Pink Lovely Doom thinks back what went wrong in the perfect plan. In that confusion when Kazumi wanted to become a phantom thief, Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution dropped a smoke screen for them to escape. She wonders what Kazumi is hiding, though Kazumi sheepishly says she may have always wanted to be a phantom thief. Unconvinced, Pink Lovely Doom will test her out. Meanwhile Alice is reeling from the shock alone in her home. Who wouldn’t if you find out your entire family is a phantom thief. The rest of her family members are ‘missing’. She stumbles upon a secret passageway to see many newspaper cuttings on the wall on Visconte. She thinks Kazumi must have figured she is the daughter of a phantom thief and thus cannot work with her anymore. Milky Holmes receives a letter of challenge from Kazumi. They reason she became a phantom thief as part of her training to become stronger. Pink Lovely Doom has Kazumi bust into the museum to steal the cap of Kobayashi to prove she is a true phantom thief. However moments before she could do it, she breaks down and couldn’t. Pink Lovely Doom deduces she just wanted to leave her friend. As she possessed a great Toys and helped her whenever she is in trouble, if she accepts that she’ll end up hating her. That’s why she left her and insisted in becoming a phantom thief. She doesn’t need her in her plan. When Milky Holmes arrive, Pink Lovely Doom uses her Toys to make them forget she was ever here. So now it’s Kazumi alone facing off with Milky Holmes. Thinking she is in training, they will not hold back and throw all they’ve got! However Kazumi is saved by Alice. She will become a phantom thief too as she was responsible in making Kazumi make that decision. She is relieved that Kazumi didn’t become one because of her family. However Alice will still be one. She wanted to be a detective only because she doesn’t want to be separated from her. She wants to be with her. Kazumi thinks Alice is innocent and pure and should be a detective. In order to protect that, Kazumi reverses her decision and decides to become a detective again. The friends rejoice and hug. Back a whole again. Milky Holmes leaves satisfied that this ‘training’ had come to a happy ending and notes Feathers have a very powerful bond.

Episode 11
Pink Lovely Doom rues that her plan ended up strengthening their bond so she asks the boss what will be their next step. He wants everyone to gather. And looks like the police security is still lax because the captured Coloured Phantoms have somehow escaped. Once all the Coloured Phantoms gather, Violet Shadow drops the bomb shell that they will disband as they have served their purpose. Of course this doesn’t sit well with the rest especially Red Lion who is going to claw him up. He also reveals Violet Shadow doesn’t even have his own Toys. However he is knocked away by Darkside Revolution’s shadow claw. He will not allow anyone to hurt his big brother. Then Great White Fallen Angel wraps her Soul Binding chains around Violet Shadow and put him in dream land. They are going to get rid of a couple of feathers that are standing in the way of his ideals. A giant shadow monster, Gigantic Phantom destroys a huge building. Kazumi and Alice get a call from Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution that they are issuing them a formal challenge to settle this once and for all. They are acting on their own and nothing to do with Shion. As Feathers reach the ground floor of the tower, they are faced with Red Lion and Blue Hunter. However Kokoro and the rest of her Genius 4 gang are here to buy Feathers some time. Up the stairs they run, they run into Arsene and her gentlemen thieves! They give her a free speedy ride to the top. Why are they helping them? Arsene replies it is a detective’s duty to solve riddles. At the top floor, they see unconscious Shion tied to the chair. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution consider Shion their true brother and disregards Alice’s true blood relationship with him. They reveal they were abandoned by their parents because their Toys were too powerful. But Shion took them in and treated them like family. For this, he shall always be their big brother. If Feathers are not around, he will not have to suffer so much and they’ll forever be together. Darkside Revolution unleashes his Gigantic Phantom to finish them. Suddenly… Milky Holmes makes their grand entrance via elevator and will challenge Coloured Phantom. Don’t take too long babbling because the elevator door is going to close…

Episode 12
Not only are those kids planning to destroy them, they will also destroy this city and make a new world where they and only their onii-chan can live. Grand plans. Can it work? Maybe this big dark orb can help them achieve it. As they shift their position to the rooftop, Milky Holmes wants Feathers to go after them to save Shion while they handle Gigantic Phantom. It’s going to be since it replicates. But they can get by with hard work and their trusty Toys. Great White Fallen Angel chains Kazumi in her Soul Binding to render her unconscious. When the dark orb has enough energy to be released, the duo get absorbed instead. All their Toys that were in effect are now stopped. Gigantic Phantom disappears and Soul Binding is gone. When Shion sees what is happening, he realizes their Toys are going berserk and at this rate they and the city will be destroyed. He wants to save them but can’t get near the out of control orb. Kazumi too wants to save them but feels unconfident that she lacks the power. Till Alice gives her that nod and Kazumi now has the confidence. Believe in yourself! They unleash their usual combo attack at the orb. The biggest ever! It neutralizes everything so safe to say, the day (or night, rather) is saved. When the kids pop out from the orb, Shion jumps to grab them but falls off the edge! OMG! Don’t let this end in a tragedy! Of course not. Here Shion comes flying back in his white angelic wings. What the hell? Is he a messenger of heaven? No. These wings are his Toys. Milky Holmes gets a pleasant surprise when Kobayashi makes his appearance and praises them. In the aftermath, the Coloured Phantom incident ended. Each member went their separate ways. Blue Hunter and Red Lion continued to be phantom thieves but risked getting caught. Yellow Black Hole quit being one and decided to make her way back up as a detective. Great White Fallen Angel and Darkside Revolution have found a new home. Keiko is still Kokoro’s apprentice although nobody is sure if she is still continuing her phantom thief ways. Shion still continues to care for Alice. I hope it won’t turn into a creepy siscon level… That painting of her may just suggest the start… As for Feathers, they are called to tea again with Milky Holmes. They are surprised to see how clumsy they are handling their tea. But Milky Holmes has good news. From now on, they will work together as detectives. Thus their new name: Milky Holmes Feathers! Though they still operate as a duo, they continue their ways as the mysterious detectives in the eyes of the public and showing no signs of slowing down. Only Kokoro is complaining. They’re stealing all the spotlight! Got a problem? The road is long but they vow to become the best detectives in the world.

Bring Back Mah Dummies!
Yeah well… It’s nice to see that things worked out for everything and everybody but even so it doesn’t feel satisfying because… I WANT MAH MILKY HOLMES’! Retarded version, that is. Although Milky Holmes has been very helpful and different from what we know them, at least there are signs that they are still the incompetent fools we are familiar off. At least behind closed doors. In those instant, fans of the idiotic Milky Holmes in seeing such scenes will be hoping that there will be full blown idiotic silliness and then we can burst into laughter in seeing such classic nostalgia. Hey, many of us never tire to see the antics of 3 Stooges or even Mr Bean, right? But they have kept their clumsiness well under control so in this sense they aren’t really the useless Milky Holmes they are from before. Good work girls but… We still prefer the clumsy you.

For our new pair of Feathers, as budding and up and coming detectives, they are a great pair as well as inseparable friends. There is nothing wrong that this season and series trying to tell us about close friendship and to believe in yourself and your friends but I feel that Milky Holmes series isn’t a good place to do it. We are after here for the silly laughs, am I right? Sometimes I find the duo a little boring since their combo Toys are the same. It’s like their only trump card. Kazumi fires arrow into Alice’s barrier to amplify it. It usually wins. End of story. Since no friendship is perfect, we are shown cracks in the relationship for a while when Kazumi starts thinking the unbelievable that her friend is better than her and loses confident in herself while Alice discovers she comes from a family of phantom thieves. Everything of course has to end well as expected because you don’t want your heart broken seeing Kazumi and Alice turn to the other side forever. The only thing that bugged me is their so called secret identity. To the few characters like Milky Holmes, their family and even Coloured Phantom, they are known. But to the public, they are ‘faceless’ and never seen before. Especially Kokoro who is so pissed every time she hears their name. So my point is, if they have been solving a lot of crimes and catching phantom thieves, won’t they be recognized? I mean, nobody is around when they usually solve things. But there is always a risk. Heck, it could have been easily solved if they just wear a mask and I won’t even raise this issue. All they did is just change their outfit and run around the city without anything to cover their face. Isn’t that how Keiko managed to connect the dots? That’s why it is a big mind boggling question that they are still a relatively big mystery to the public. I can imagine the shock when their faces are known especially to their friends.

Other characters for this season are pretty sufficient too but they lack making an impact. For instance, Coloured Phantom as the antagonist of this series failed to live up to whatever they are doing and I don’t even know what the heck is this new revolution thing that they want to bring.  The rest serves as just ‘pawns’ for Feathers to face off and capture. Although Shion was the leader of Coloured Phantom, I feel Pink Lovely Doom is the real mastermind and the one pulling strings from the shadow because of her Toys that makes others forget. Oh, it was going to be evident that the way the real identities of the Coloured Phantom are revealed, you can make a guess who that phantom thief is based on their voice and sometimes the way they act. Thanks to Violet Shadow AKA Shion getting the ball rolling, therefore it was no surprise who Yellow Black Hole, Visconte and even Pink Lovely Doom are in the end. I still can’t believe Shion’s Toys are his angelic wings because it felt like some sort of convenience for a happy ending. I personally thought it would have been more believable if Visconte and Madam Visconte dived into the scene with their glider and saved him but they had to showcase Shion unleashing his Toys instead. Maybe it’s all thanks to Pink Lovely Doom making him forget he even has Toys. Shion sometimes whenever he is in siscon mode, he is one funny dude because it gives off a feeling that he really fawns over his sister which is just creepy. Just the perfect disguise to not notice your brother is the leader of a phantom thief group. And now he is no longer one (not sure if he really quit being a phantom thief for good), it is going to get a lot worse with Alice always preoccupying his mind.

Although the gentlemen thieves do make their cameo appearances in a handful of episodes, they do not have any spoken dialogue until that penultimate episode with Arsene. Their cameos feel like to tease and make us viewers pinpoint in glee, “Hey! That is that nipple erecting joker beauty sicko! He is still around masquerading as a teacher!”. So why appear to help Feathers? Here is my theory to solve that riddle: Because there won’t be a place to have detective-phantom thief cat and mouse game fun if the city gets destroyed by a pair of selfish kids who only want their onii-chan. And since this is Feathers’ problem, they have to solve it themselves. They’re here just to give a little push and extra service to us viewers. Heck even the rest of Genius 4 make their stinking one scene appearance. Better than none, right? Yeah. There are some that never made their appearance in this third season such as Milky Holmes’ pet cat, Kamaboko, that mysterious is-she-a-good-guy-or-villain Mori Arty and uh huh, who could forget the Kokoro obsessed Irene. Speaking of Kokoro, she feels more responsible this time although there is an air of bratty-ness and you wished that every time she starts getting pissed off, you wished she’d become her joker self like in the past. Uh huh. She still doesn’t like Sherlock to call her “Kokoro-chan” but this time no golden mask to whack her as retort. She also doesn’t resort to her annoying bragging about her massive IQ. I know… This way it made her look ‘smarter’… So really, these original girls have matured? I want mah original Milky Holmes back, boo hoo! Himeyuri as the new character who only appeared in one lousy episode was because as I found out, she was the heroine players control in the second Milky Holmes PSP game (in the first, players helmed Kobayashi).

Some of the mystery can never be solved. In other words, certain things left me mind boggled like what was Ryouko’s mystery that she quit being a detective and turned into a phantom thief? Was there a loved one involved? I don’t know. Not that we really care. Then about Kazumi’s mom. All we see is her dad and it seems their relationship is strained. We didn’t see it resumed back to normal and after this series ended, I began to think back and thought… Hey, could Kazumi’s mom be a phantom thief as well? Hah. Not that we really care. Here is another trivial one that we might not care too. I remember Feathers facing off with Yellow Black Hole and Blue Hunter. The latter got injured and they escaped. So how did he end up getting captured by the police instead? Maybe it’s during one of those unseen missions not shown in any of the episodes. Yeah, who cares. Why the heck did I even notice this even though praying for Stupid Holmes to return was largely occupying my mind. And what does it mean to be a true detective and phantom thief? I don’t know. I am neither so I’m guessing it is this series’ cops and robbers. I figure there is some sort of romance when you play tag in the city. Catch me if you can! And why did Visconte even allow his daughter to become a detective? Don’t know. That because she wants to sounds like a flimsy excuse. I know it’s good to give your daughters freedom in what to do. Or if he is going to be a strict daddy, it will be closer to revealing his true identity? So by being such a flexible father, does this mean if Alice wants to be a slut, he’ll allow it? Just saying…

The art and drawing mainly remains the same. However I can’t help but notice that there is a very slight difference. Because when I first looked at Milky Holmes, they are less ‘prettier’ than they are in the previous 2 seasons. It is like as though their drawing have become somewhat simpler. It is not that obvious but obvious enough for viewers like me to tell the difference. Especially Cordelia, I thought she looked a little different than usual. Otherwise, the art style remains as good as before ranging from your typical cute girls with cute bright sparkly eyes to the background. Just like in previous Milky Holmes instalments, the end card features a chibi style drawing but this time it is mainly on the Feathers duo. Funny. Amusing.

All those returning characters in this series have their seiyuus retained and they still play their part well. The new ones also aren’t too bad especially with Ayasa Itou as Alice, this is her debut voice acting and so far her only anime role. Aimi Terakawa voices Kazumi (Emi in Hentai Ouji To Warawanai Neko, Roxanne in Freezing Vibration) though she played a minor role in the original Tantei Opera Milky Holmes. Other casts include Kazuyuki Okitsu as Shion/Violet Shadow (Madarame in Genshiken Nidaime), Hiroki Touchi as Visconte (Panther Lily in Fairy Tail), Sayaka Ohara as Madam Visconte (Alicia in Aria The Animation), Ikumi Nakagami as Keiko/Pink Lovely Doom (Yukari in Girls Und Panzer), Aya Hisakawa as Ryouko/Yellow Black Hole (Maya in Tenjou Tenge), Yuka Ootsubo as Great White Fallen Angel (Kyouko in YuruYuri), Yuka Takakura as Darkside Revolution (Mai in Hentai Ouji To Warawanai Neko) and Natsumi Takamori as Himeyuri (Misaki in Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo). The opening and ending themes are generic lively anime pop so there isn’t anything special that attracts me. Despite this season is about Feathers, it is the original Milky Holmes quartet who sings the opening theme, Glory Glowin’ Days. Milky Holmes Feathers takes the ending theme entitled Seishun Beginner.

In the end, this third season didn’t actually break any new ground because everything else felt the same. It is just that it gives us new characters but nothing that really impresses in the long run. Long-time fans of the anime series may consider this season as a fall from grace although I won’t put it to the point that it is utterly disappointing. It tells us that going back to basics is what is important. Maybe they want to redeem Milky Holmes’ pride of being respectable and useful detective lolis but to us all, they are best doing what we know them for: Making hilarious whimsical mistakes, bungling all over, messing things, screwing up everything and looking cute while doing that. So producers take note. If you’re going to make a fourth season for Milky Holmes, please BRING BACK MAH DUMMY DETECTIVE LOLIS!!! And then I wouldn’t mind seeing them spam us with super erected nipples.

Sometimes it is nice to see things that do not work out the first time to make their return and try again. Sometimes not every failure is bad because eventually with perseverance it will lead to success. Or maybe sometimes it is just me who wants to see certain people fail and fail all over again. There is some mysterious attraction to that. Just like a certain squid girl who failed miserably to invade mankind, we have another eternal failure on our hands. Folks, once more let me introduce you to the most adorable bungling detectives ever in the history of detective-ship. With that said, Tantei Opera Milky Holmes II might have been long gone over the airwaves more than a year ago but it never hurts for me to start watching this series much later than usual. Saving the best for last?

As those who are familiar with the quartet of prodigy detectives known as Milky Holmes, they have fallen from grace ever since the start of the series. Losing their supernatural powers called Toys in the midst of their battle against arch enemy and super thief Arsene and her gentleman thieves called Phantom Thief Empire. Life has not been the same for Milky Holmes ever since they lost their Toys and they are spiralling downwards into a decaying whirl of decline and uselessness. Even their arch enemy took pity on them and decided to guide them back to the top once more so that beating them at their best would be the best prize ever. How that is not to be and a long and frustrating journey it must have been. This season is no less different as Milky Holmes is struggling with pretty much everything. Who will break first? Milky Holmes? Arsene? Expect lots of nonsensical slapstick idiotic comedy to go with that. Now you know why I keep coming back to watch them fail?

Episode 1
Even right off the bat, we see how deteriorated Milky Holmes have become. Such heavy sleepers that they didn’t even hear the alarm setting off. By the time they wake up, it’s already night. They fall into the lake and so positive these bungling detectives, they think it’s killing 2 birds with 1 stone because they can do laundry too. You can imagine how upset Henriette is. To add salt to injury, Milky Holmes isn’t going to school either. Instead, they are happily frolicking in their own farm! So pissed Henriette/Arsene is that she even chides her own men for not doing their duty to bring Milky Holmes to their senses! They in turn blame Milky Holmes for making Arsene gloomy. Meanwhile Nero makes Hercule take up a job. The kind that has her pose as a model in front of enthusiastic painters. Thank God she didn’t have to do it naked. The gentlemen thieves try to cheer Arsene up in what they do best but she is clearly not in the mood. By now, Milky Holmes has racked up a reputation. The kind where everybody hates them! See them fighting over food in the cafeteria? Shameful. Henriette confronts them and asks them what they want to be. And they even have the cheek to answer like jokers. The gentlemen thieves are going to make their move since they are further causing Arsene mad. First they had to try shooting several letters of challenge because they are too stupid to understand the implications of a letter tied to an arrow! After spelling out the challenge letter, what are they going to do? Sleep over it!

And so… Gentlemen thieves wait at their farm only to be pissed that they aren’t showing up. When Milky Holmes decides to visit their farm, they realize it is destroyed! Can you blame gentlemen thieves for taking out their boredom and frustration? It is then that Milky Holmes turned into vicious bloodthirsty avengers! No, not prideful detectives but the kind that will kill them! Monsters!!! All because of the tomato field is destroyed. So terrible Milky Holmes that the gentlemen thieves start to regret what they do!!! Pleading for mercy???!!! Gentlemen thieves are defeated but tell them off they want to be defeated by detectives. Does that word ring a bell? Apparently Milky Holmes screws up in changing into their correct detective uniform. And they got tired after all that changing… Meanwhile Kokoro, who is running away from pesky Irene, accidentally enters into a cannon. It fires and she crashes into Milky Holmes and gentlemen thieves. Arsene notes that even though Milky Holmes has remembered about being detectives, they are still useless and some shock is needed to wake them up. Gentlemen thieves are thrown into prison and Stone River wants them to stay here till morning as repentance. Next morning, Milky Holmes happily rushes to their farm but their horror it is being burnt down and overrun with heavy machinery.

Episode 2
Gentlemen thieves easily escape their prison come morning. Meanwhile Milky Holmes is enjoying every morsel of their leftover food. Hercule suddenly remembers something familiar about their Toys power. She has a hard time conveying it to the rest. As expected, they are too stupid to get it. They try to do part time jobs but suck at them. The ‘best’ one is Nero, calculating what she can do with the meagre money the rest will earn her. Hercule returns with a ‘superb’ painting as a gift from being a model. Looks horrible. Doesn’t even look like her. Suddenly an old wealthy man, Drill comes running to them and wants that painting. It reminds him of his first love, Higatha Christie. Does her face look like that? Well, since she is a shy girl, she always wore a mask. That’s what this painting resembles that mask. It’s been 80 years since he last saw her. Milky Holmes don’t want to stay and listen to his boring crap but when he mentions about the sickening amount money he will give them, wow, they’re suddenly all ears. He tells them how they were separated on that fateful day when they were touring the Pyramids. He has never seen her since and resigned to himself as a bachelor as he couldn’t find her. He wants to repose himself with that painting but Nero tells him to splash the cash. Does 10 million Yen sound good? OH YEAH!!! Hercule notices in Nero’s happiness, her Toys just went off. Everyone else too dumb to notice, Hercule too shy to speak up. Nero is excited to order 1000 pieces of first class sushi. Then the wind blows the painting away. GET THAT MILLION DOLLAR ART BACK!!!

So we see Milky Holmes, Drill and even the sushi guy chasing after the painting, miraculously evading fatal accidents everywhere they go. It finally leads them to a beached whale. It’s not that they’re so kind in wanting to push the whale back into sea, it’s because it is sitting on the painting! For that moment, Hercule thinks of using her Toys and suddenly she has this great amount of strength to toss the whale into the ocean! Gentlemen thieves who arrived in time also got flung away. The whale crashes into a ship over the horizon. As Milky Holmes savour their sushi and Drill his painting, suddenly Higatha comes to shore riding the whale. They emotionally reunite as Higatha explains she was looking for him all this while too. However she got kidnapped by pirates. A whale crashed into it and saved her. Now that Fatty Holmes has eaten up all the sushi, Hercule forces Nero to give the cheque to the sushi guy to pay for his daughter’s surgery. Gentlemen thieves are once again put behind bars. When Milky Holmes returns to the academy, Henriette confronts them. She is not happy. She tells them the police are doing all the work and this renders detectives virtually useless. As usual, Stupid Holmes is too dumb to understand what she means till she spells out the academy will close down and will be used to erect a pavilion for the upcoming Detective Fair. Back in their room when Hercule finally tells them about Toys, they realize they have forgotten all about it while trying to survive. And Nero had the cheek to blame her for not telling them earlier. They get excited to protect this academy. But first, let’s have sushi for dinner…

Episode 3
Based on Henriette’s words, Milky Holmes is going to Hakkei Island to steal some deed and seal for the academy and prevent the pavilion’s erection. They paddle a boat made out of mud and halfway through, it sinks. When they are washed ashore, they are taken in as prisoners by some Macho S&M Uncle and his henchmen. He tells them this is actually a sea prison and this island is an island of despair! HUAHAHAHA!!! Arsene and her men arrive on the island to steal an ultimate treasure called hope amidst the despair. She is dressed as a guy but I don’t understand why Twenty is part of S&M Uncle’s henchmen while Stone River and Nezu are treated as prisoners. Milky Holmes and the other prisoners pick up sea cucumbers and this scene turns into a musical while Twenty whips everyone into work using his nipples!!! Arsene snoops around and learn from one of the prisoners about some legend. That person who knew the legend thought to have escaped was actually dried up and hardened as some statue. So he didn’t escape, didn’t he? So he tells them about some tacky tapestry he saw that pinpoints the treasure. Milky Holmes and Phantom Thief Empire go into action to obtain the treasure as S&M Uncle initiates traps to separate them all. Cordelia and Twenty are stuck in some dungeon filled with creepy slimy sea cucumbers. While Twenty is having ecstasy, Cordelia goes bonkers. I don’t know what explosive force she used but it made a crater in the room! Twenty is traumatized!!! Hercule uses Nezu as bait for the shark while she escapes! At least she’s not so dumb. Nezu thought her Toys are back in action but all Stone River sees is that she coincidentally presses the stop button on the machine that would have squished them.

Sherlock and Arsene find themselves in a ring against S&M Uncle and his octopus. Arsene wants Sherlock to handle this herself. First she loses hope but after remembering the words of the ‘wise one’, she gets her confidence back and boils the octopus! Her comrades come by to help eat the octopus. Arsene gives directions as where to where Milky Holmes is to stand. Turns out they fulfil the requirements of the tapestry. They transform into their detective outfit and defeat S&M Uncle. Arsene rides up to the top of the tower to get the treasure. It turns out to be a flower that in flower language it means hope. She and her men flee after thinking they’ve wasted their time. Milky Holmes arrives and sees the flower. Sherlock plucks it out and suddenly everything crumbles! The entire island is made out of sea cucumber?! The dried cucumbers are enough to form a land leading back to the main land. Everyone escapes. Back at the academy, Milky Holmes gives Henriette the flower but she is not amused. She shows them the news report that the island they have destroyed is the island prison. You know what this means, right? Runaway prisoners escaped to the city… Yeah. Ironically the detectives let the prisoners escape. It took G4 to put forth all their effort in recapturing them all. By the way, S&M Uncle is a government worker in charge of the prison. Don’t let looks fool you… Milky Holmes is thrown into prison and this only gives Kokoro more ammo to insult and chide them as the most retarded of the retards. Yeah, she’s enjoying her victory. Repent, Stupid Holmes!!!

Episode 4
Cordelia is having the nicest dream when some foot monster stomps on her face. Turns out to be Nero’s bad sleeping posture… Even during the cafeteria, Cordelia and Nero ended up arguing so loudly about it that Henriette had to tell them off about their shouting match in addition to skipping classes. And they had the cheek to blame something else except themselves! Save for Hercule. Back in their room, they think everything will be solved if they fix their sleeping postures. They try to relax by thinking something fun (Hercule’s dream is all mosaic out!!!). Since it’s hard, they decide to play a game. Sherlock sucks at Jenga because she causes the blocks to tumble even at first go. Nero cheats by licking Cordelia’s ear, causing her to lose. She is forced to cosplay as Arsene. Since Kamaboko was impersonating as her boobs, Cordelia and Nero once more ended up arguing about each other’s chest. Elsewhere, G4 are hot on the trail of Phantom Thief Empire as they have stolen a precious vase. Arsene suspiciously gives up the vase and throws it away. Kokoro dives out of the helicopter to save it. She could have been splat had not for her mates holding on to her. Then it is revealed the vase is fake and the real one is kept within her cleavage (how ‘roomy’ is that area?!). Kokoro is left to rue her lost while Phantom Thief Empire makes their clean getaway. Arsene laments that playing with the police doesn’t satisfy her. Because Nero and Cordelia continue to argue that they intrude into each other’s bed space, everyone changes their sleeping position.

Milky Holmes is deep in their sleep and experience some sort of nightmare due to their sleep walking. How worse can it get? Cordelia being faced off with a lion (Kamaboko being pushed in her face), nervous Hercule poses as a model in the painting class, Sherlock eating her fish paste and Nero and Cordelia stomping on each other’s face!!! The ruckus is enough to draw Henriette’s attention as she heads to their room. However she witnesses something. As they are asleep, it seems their Toys power in their eyes momentarily flash. Nero dreams of transforming into a robot to face giant iron Cordelia when in reality her Toys causes the alarm clock to dismantle and combine all over her body like a robot. Cordelia uses a Sherlock as shield from Nero’s pillow attack. Hercule becomes so embarrassed that her model picture has been featured in the magazine, she uprooted the building. Actually, she lifted the bed and causes the trio to fall off. She returns sleeping on the bed. Can you imagine? The trio can have such ‘nice dreams’ while beating up each other in reality. Best in the world. When all has calmed down, Henriette leaves the room with slight hope. Next morning, everyone except Hercule feels their body aching all over and that deprivation of sleep feeling. Though they accuse Hercule of being the one pushing them off, she doesn’t remember anything. They think she is the one with bad sleeping posture and should return back to their original positions. For once, Milky Holmes turns responsible as they rush over to class. Henriette decides to wait a little longer for their revival.

Episode 5
Ishinagare puts up posters in school to warn about a flasher going around. Milky Holmes have degenerated that they are thinking of eating a slug on a leaf!!! They hear about this flasher thingy but don’t know what it means! I think they should eat more brain food. Anyway only Hercule knows what it means and is forced to demonstrate. Ishinagare sees this and thinks Hercule may look innocent on the outside but is actually a pervert. Milky Holmes sees a girl in coat and promptly accuses her as the flasher. Actually she is a detective from the Kansai region, Coron. She also heard about the flasher incident and needs an assistant in catching them. Seriously? Milky Holmes as her assistant? Guess what? They are cocky enough to tell her they have better things to do! Well, they WILL become her assistants because she throws them free fried sticks!!! And free cabbages if they call her Coron-sama!!! Cheap Holmes… Coron has Insight as her Toys. But this baby god of hers keeps smacking her on the head after giving his ‘answer’. They are to search around the academy grounds. As we suspect, Nijuuri might be the culprit, flashing his body while telling the students to beware the flasher. I don’t know how Coron and Nijuuri end up with a fight using fried sticks and nipples. WTF. Milky Holmes feels it’s a shame to waste those sticks!!! So the girls conduct their investigation asking the public. They sound like they eagerly want to meet the flasher… They come into Kokoro and G4 (what the hell is with that bomb disarming robot called Poporo? Is it supposed to take after a certain G4 member?) and seek their help. They think Phantom Thief Empire all fit the description of being flashers. You never know they may have a darker side. Coron thinks they are the culprit.

Arsene and her men have stolen another diamond. They think something is wrong since it’s too quiet. The police aren’t coming. Well, Kokoro and Poporo are fighting each other over the calling of each other’s name. And they’re blocking the door so the rest can’t get to work. WTF. So a bomb disarming robot just went nuts? Arsene thought she heard a genuine challenge from Milky Holmes. Turns out to be another goofy performance. They are wearing coats because Coron told them flashers hate to be imitated and thus this is an attempt to draw the flasher out. They can’t even unbutton… Useless… Twenty is dismayed that they are doing it wrong and shows them how it’s done! Why is Cordelia agreeing with him?! Arsene has had enough of this and whips their coat to pieces. Seems they are wearing clothes underneath, which goes against the being naked underneath thingy. Except for Hercule. Poor girl. Naïve girl. Stone River is going to chop her up for accusing Arsene as the flasher when she herself is the pervert. Coron makes her debut but blunders. Arsene and co retreat. Hercule was running away from Stone River and finds herself lost. Suddenly the flasher appears before her! Coron?! More precisely, she is Po, Coron’s other personality who likes to show off her desires. Coron is a rich kid and her strict life means she isn’t allowed to show herself. She reluctantly covered up herself and this is where Po was born. Po admits she likes being naked and will turn herself in to the police. Sherlock takes everyone to the public bath. They can be naked here for all they want. Yeah, Coron is a rich girl, right? When Coron’s original personality returns, she knows who the real flasher is. Soon, that flasher is caught by G4. Coron did some investigation and concluded she couldn’t be the flasher. Milky Holmes sees off Coron at the train station. She gives them fried sticks as a symbol of their friendship rather than rewards. Whatever. These bird brains find it delicious. Yum!

Episode 6
On board the Eno Express, we suddenly find Milky Holmes and G4 pretty messed up!!! What happened?! We go back 40 minutes earlier. G4 was onboard the train on their way to stop a bomb threat from exploding a giant statue that serves as Detective Fair’s centrepiece. Shortly before the door closes, Milky Holmes made it onboard. Yeah, they’re not here to stop the bomb but to attend the fair. Somehow Kokoro is already beaten up and unconscious so the other G4 members decide to go look for clues themselves. Milky Holmes decides to join them too. Noting that the culprit is the one among the train, the conductor leads them to the rear. I guess they’re going to arrest to most suspicious looking one, eh? Well, we’ve got piggy boy, the flasher, a nervous Irene’s dad, a very build assassin and his foreigner lover. They’re all suspicious! Hercule opens the window only to be bombed with bird’s poo. She is splashed with water. The flasher offers his coat but Hirano takes him out and kicks him out on the next stop. Then the assassin tells Hercule to strip. Actually he wants to give her wear his black coat. Nero accuses piggy boy for being the culprit because he is eating like nobody’s business. How can she say that when her belly is full and burping all the way? The rest tie Nero up. Irene sneaks onboard on the next stop and kidnaps Kokoro. Irene’s dad is so nervous that he blunders saying there is nothing suspicious with his suitcase. Hirano knocks him out and opens it only to have an alien facehugger hugging her face! Is that a horseshoe crab? Something about he found it on some website and wanted to release it in the ocean. Then they find Irene taking pictures of Kokoro in magical girl outfit. After the father and daughter are tossed out on the next stop, Tsugiko thinks how good Kokoro looks good in those clothes so Saku tells her to put it on. Tsugiko gets swayed by everyone’s support and puts it on herself. Cordelia hears a ticking sound in a suitcase. Fearing this will bomb her friends, she jumps out onto the flower field to be a sacrifice. But after hearing how everyone will praying for her to reach heaven, Cordelia isn’t going to die alone and rushes back into the train! Live together, die together! Why the hell did she bring the suitcase back too?

Anyway Poporo Mark II hitches a ride on the train. The bomb disarming robot goes berserk as it starts trashing the suitcase! Then lots of Kokoro memorabilia falls out. The ticking sound is just an alarm clock. They put Kokoro’s blazer on Poporo and the robot continues to beat up unconscious Kokoro. Everyone continues to look for clues and since none are found, the culprit must be among them. Sherlock accuses piggy boy so he has had enough of this and jumps out of the window. Wrong guess, huh? She tries to suspect between the assassin and his lover when the conductor confesses he is the one. He is a big fan of Kokoro and cooked up that threat letter so that he would be able to ride with her. The suitcase filled with her memorabilia belongs to him. However nobody blames him since he came clean. With the case close, that is how we see the gang messed up in weird outfits. Before the conductor is taken away, he hands over the switch for the bomb. By this time Kokoro is awake and learns what happened. She beats up Sherlock because she is mad that Poporo beat the hell out of her during her ‘sleep’. But who knocked her out first? Going back 45 minutes earlier when Milky Holmes just got onboard, Kokoro smacked Sherlock as usual. This causes a chain reaction of the rest bumping into each other. It ends with Sherlock slipping on a banana peel and accidentally punching Kokoro in the face. Not funny! Milky Holmes feel excited of solving this case. They decide to return being great detectives and that being farmers was a mistake. Sherlock accidentally presses the button and this explodes the statue’s head. What a way to make a great return…

Episode 7
Milky Holmes might be in prison for blowing up the statue but they love the prison food! They think it’s heaven! Kokoro is so pissed that she kicks them out! Yeah, they even think Henriette should have been here to get them. Well, it seems she is drowning her sorrows via alcohol. Oolong tea rather. I can understand why she is so frustrated and depressed. Milky Holmes tries to cheer her up and unintentionally makes it worse. Especially when they say that ‘useless’ word back at her. That’s when she snaps. But wait. Did she turn polite? I mean, she is serving a luxurious feast to Milky Holmes and G4. Her men thinks it’s part of her plan to degrade them by giving them a taste of heaven. And then the news report comes in. It is announced that Arsene will destroy Milky Holmes academy tonight. Now we know why she is giving them their last supper. G4 helps out in stationing their men around the academy. Kokoro thinks she can command the crowd but Henriette does it better and naturally. Suddenly lightning strikes over Henriette! Arsene drops in to mock the student council president is no match for her. She uses her Toys of Resplendence to have everyone see each other as Arsene. G4 fighting among themselves! Milky Holmes fighting piggy boy. Can’t they tell Arsene is not that fat???!!! Poporo knocks G4 to their senses. They overcome her illusion and fight her. G4 is eliminated when Saku uses Kokoro as a cannon ball to fire at Arsene. She dodges. A big chunk of the academy gets destroyed. Oh boy.

Stone River cannot understand why she is doing this because she usually steals first before destroying. Arsene claims she wants to crush this academy with her own hands and challenges them to fight her. The gentlemen thieves realize this is not the Arsene they knew and want to open her eyes and stop her. Though they swore their allegiance to her, she announces Phantom Thief Empire will disband tonight and she will leave this place. Despite the trio having improved a lot, the flashy and exaggerated battle with lots of WTF moves ends with Arsene still coming out tops. She has all the power she needs to easily fight back. The sad truth is that she is always stronger. The impact is so great that there’s a crater now!!! Not even Twenty and Stone River homo combo could stop her. Once all her men are down (Stone River’s last pathetic attempt to stop her was futile), she disbands her team. Milky Holmes is pathetically clinging on to her trying to arrest her. The last straw came when Arsene asks Sherlock what she is. Though her reply that she is a detective of this academy isn’t bad, it is the part that she bit her tongue while saying it that made Arsene furious. I don’t know what super power she summoned because it’s like all her anger and rage summed up into one giant punch into Earth!!! Aftermath check: Academy destroyed. All students unconscious. G4 out cold. Gentlemen thieves knocked out. Milky Holmes ‘sleeping’. Arsene the only one left standing. And there were none… Shameful… Is this their determination to protect the academy?

Episode 8
The crushing defeat leaves gentlemen thieves reeling in defeat. They even see the cloud as Arsene! Kokoro becomes such a despicable loli rubbing salt into their wounds and relishing in it! Look at how ecstatic she is running them down in their pitiful state. Who’s the real baddie here? G4 captures them as they don’t even put up any resistance. Milky Holmes is digging to find Henriette. How the hell did Sherlock mistake a camel to be Henriette? Boing-boing… They hit a box and open it. Some dead warrior chase after them (because they insulted him for being poor). Their hide is saved by Abe. He cautions them that there are several Toys buried around. That was Toys? Morning comes and piggy boy delivers several stuffs. Firstly, a sign to confirm the academy’s closure. Then a letter from Henriette saying goodbye. Next, letters to everyone who will be transferred to other better detective academies to improve themselves. They get fired up to do better. What about Milky Holmes? They have a letter too. It’s blank… No hope, eh? Lastly, this land will be a wasteland and some other place has been picked for the pavilion. Totally abandoned, eh? And Kokoro does not waste any chance in running Milky Holmes down too. People, don’t be as shameful as her. Gentlemen thieves are in prison. They lost everything. Even their minds. Even the shadow reminds them of Arsene. How can they heal this hurting? They blame Milky Holmes, the source of why Arsene did all these. It’s time for revenge as they easily do a prison break to go defeat Milky Holmes.

Milky Holmes is at a loss on what to do. They have nothing and lost everything. Henriette isn’t around to tell them what to do. Can’t they think for themselves? Suddenly Cordelia loses it. She escapes reality via her fantasy. Henriette is around! Yes she is! The rest gets absorbed into her fantasy. Gentlemen thieves appear before them to get their revenge but are seriously ignored. No reaction from them. Realizing they are escaping reality, they too get pulled in. Gosh! It’s really Arsene! Yipee! Little do they know, they’re making out with the camel… Don’t ask… Kamaboko bites Stone River as he feels a tingling pain. He realizes this isn’t reality and takes Hercule with him. He shows her the rest in fantasy land and must break free of this spell. He lectures they have been left behind but taking the easy path isn’t what Arsene/Henriette wanted. His face is getting creepy to convince her so Hercule throws him towards Cordelia. He cuts down her delusion to free everyone. Then he lectures about picking themselves up and getting stronger for their future. Everyone ignores him. So both sides part with their own goals to achieve. They still ignore Stone River… Milky Holmes creates their own makeshift home as Sherlock writes on the blank paper about their future. At least they’re being positive why it is left blank for them. They decide to call this the New Milky Holmes Academy. This will be their future and they set the deadline to become splendid detectives before the Detective World Fair in 4 months. Not only Kamaboko joins them but Arty too.

Episode 9
We catch a glimpse of Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku in their daily lives when they suddenly receive a screaming call from Kokoro to get their asses back to work as the paper work is piling up. However they won’t because they submitted their leave form and somehow Kokoro approved it. Meanwhile Milky Holmes is conducting lessons to little kids! Nero even asks them for payment! WTF?! Taking candy from a baby? Anyway their lesson is so disappointing that the kids leave. They can keep the candy for all they care. Then Kokoro butts in and decides to help them become great detectives. But this is a ploy to give trouble to her comrades on her day off. She uses Milky Holmes to rip off all the ingredients and get free food from Tsugiko’s stall, rip apart Hirano’s dojo (Cordelia went berserk like a killing machine when the lights go out) and disrupt Saku’s ultimate mahjong hand at some sailor mahjong club. Yeah, it’s ironic they can be ‘useful’ in this sense. Of course Kokoro’s mates know she is the one behind this and warn her to stop this harassment. They won’t come back to work as long as Phantom Thief Empire isn’t around. They won’t be around anymore, right? This gives Kokoro an idea. She forces Milky Holmes to dress up as Phantom Thief Empire. So weird… So to be a great detective, they need to put themselves in the shoes of the villains? Their first task is to steal and conveniently Kokoro has them steal a suitcase that a group of security men are bringing out. Kokoro becomes implicated in their getaway so not to let her identity bust, she wears a cabbage as a mask. The security men chase them and they pass by Kokoro’s comrades. Thinking Phantom Thief Empire is back, they also join the chase. They assure the security men that they will take it from here but the guys give that dumbfounded look. It is revealed that they are criminals so the trio chase after them. Kokoro and Milky Holmes end up near the Detective Fair. They realize the suitcase is talking and it pops out a woman, Haruko Minami. She is supposed to sing a theme song to open the expo. However she was kidnapped by those guys. G4 has apprehended the criminals and thank Milky Holmes for doing something good for once. As Haruko sings on stage, there is also advertisement to thank Milky Holmes (they’ve become the main guests of the expo) and their desire to request Henriette to come back since they are confident she is watching this somewhere. Meanwhile Arty steals a Shard of Pandora from the expo. But since nothing happens, she notes she needs the power of Milky Holmes’ descendants.

Episode 10
The expo is officially open. Milky Holmes failed to become great detectives as promised themselves. By the way, the kidnapping case they solved was a fluke and doesn’t count. They see a poster of the fair organizing a competition looking for a mascot girl. They would have joined it if not for a tiny requirement: You must have Toys. That’s when Arty butts in. She is looking for Pandora’s Jar and convinces Milky Holmes to help her as it would get their Toys back. Giving Sherlock the Shard of Pandora, it starts reacting so Milky Holmes follows its guide. Meanwhile piggy boy returns from overseas and has lost weight! He looks like a poor version of Buddha! I guess foreign lard won’t do. Yokohama’s lard is the best. However each time he is about to eat his lard-filled food, Milky Holmes bumps into him and spills his food. And those foods are the last piece. Sold out. The hunger lard pangs continue… The Shard of Pandora guides Milky Holmes to their school’s statue of Sherlock Holmes. There is an underground hidden passage which leads them to a jar. Arty is waiting for this moment because this jar contains all the Toys of Phantom Thieves the original Sherlock Holmes sealed within. Finally Sherlock manages to rip off the seal and all the Toys burst out. Piggy boy is digging his final and secret lard treasure. Fate is to be that Milky Holmes once more bumps into him and spilling his lard all over. That’s the last straw. After Arty snatches one of the Toys, she leaves. Piggy boy becomes so angry at Milky Holmes for causing him trouble all the time, he absorbs all the Toys. Powering up, he absorbs the spilled lard and returns back to his fat self. Now do you recognize him? He then attacks Milky Holmes with his lard powers. After that, he drains everyone in Yokohama of their fats. Feeling all the moisture in your skin gone? Sense your hair very dry? Yeah, Twenty must be bloody shock that his nipples cannot erect! Eventually the gentlemen thieves and G4 confront piggy boy but they are no match since they can’t even hold or pick up their weapons (blame electrical charge friction for that). Plus, piggy boy releases the most fearful Toys in history: Toys of Uselessness! Everybody now lacks motivation to do anything or is just totally useless. Milky Holmes is fine since they were covered in lard. When they confront piggy boy, he unleashes the same Toys of Uselessness on them. But why are they still fine? Because they have been useless from the start! They even admit it!!!!!!! SO NOW DO YOU BELIEVE HOW USELESS THEY ARE?! Piggy boy absorbs all the lard power and transforms into… OMG! Is this handsome hunk him?! IS THIS REALLY HIM?! Wow. Lard power.

Episode 11
In the beginning, there was lard. Lard… Lard! LARD!!! Who wants to hear this lard evolution?! Anyway it’s so yucky that it’s causing Milky Holmes to feel disgusting. Why not? If you’re talking about greasy fat lard all the way. So as Lard God (as what this piggy boy villain is now calling himself) brags about all the lard, he plans to steal the legendary lard of Nero Wolfe (Nero’s grandpa) to turn this world into a new age of lard. But Milky Holmes won’t allow that and steal the lard before he could. Then they make a run from his attempts to steal it from them, including running through Arsene’s treasure mansion. Meanwhile Arsene easily steals the Beowulf sword in London. However she is confronted by Sonia who tells her she has walked the wrong path. Instead of facing reality, she took the other path to escape it. She labels Arsene a weak person. But Arsene easily pins her down. Sonia believes Milky Holmes will walk on their own one day even if they’re crawling now, they’ll never forget to move on. The student council can show them back the right path. Arsene views Milky Holmes will always be useless. Lard God initiates his plan to absorb all the lard in the world. Everything in this world is made of lard, eh? Is that lard wine he is drinking? Gross! But Milky Holmes won’t give up yet and cut short his victory. They vow to protect Yokohama and their friends.

Suddenly their Toys return and they use all they’ve got in this power battle to bring him down. Lard God isn’t out yet so he absorbs all the lard to become some giant gladiator with wings. Pigarus? As in Icarus? Milky Holmes is having a tough time fending him off so Hercule suggests the wheat straw she saw in Arsene’s mansion. It is believed to be able to suck out all his powerful Toys. Before Lard God can launch his final attack, Arsene in one strong jump, leaps all the way back from halfway around the world to slash the guardian and turn night into day! The lard wings are melting! While Hercule restrains him, the rest tries to suck his Toys out. This scene might seem gross but somebody has to do it. Sherlock hears an inner voice wanting her to just do it. Forget about saving the world or Yokohama and focus on just putting all her effort into sucking. Sherlock reads closely the label and it says to blow instead of suck. With all their might, the trio blow until all the lard is released and returned to its rightful place. Everything’s back to normal. The inner voice turns out to be the true Lard God. He tells them not to hate the lard because it takes only a little ill will to revive the sealed evil. He’ll be taking it with him. And remember, don’t hate the lard. Love the lard! Then it starts snowing lard. A beautiful sight to behold. Yes, ironically it is. Looks like snow… Gentlemen thieves sense Arsene’s return and pledge their loyalty to her. She’s back. They’re back too. Milky Holmes revels in the beautiful ‘snow’. Merry Lard-mas!

Episode 12
Milky Holmes is reworking on their farm. But this time with their Toys! G4 is busy engaging with the recently returned Phantom Thief Empire. But Arsene has no time to play with them. She is stumped that with their return, Milky Holmes isn’t making their move. Apparently they are handing out flyers for people to join their new school. They aren’t convinced. No doubt they are the heroines but also the culprit who caused the incident. So much for public confidence. Then they see the news of Arsene’s return and Sherlock got so excited to fight her, her Toys destroyed the TV! Stop breaking public property! Arsene in disguise feels the need to send them a challenge letter after finding out they were busy working on their farm and thus didn’t hear about her return. She tries to make coincidental appearance before them as Henriette but their stupidity makes them get distracted by other stuffs. Doesn’t it look bad on Arsene? She’s not giving up yet. The last straw came when Coron shows Milky Holmes the flyer of Detective Fair’s mascot girl contest. Since Milky Holmes has gotten their Toys back, they’re going to enter it. Sounds like a good idea to Arsene too. Due to lack of participants, we see many past minor characters taking part in this contest. Even Kokoro. Arsene impersonates as the mysterious Jermaine in this contest. So… We get clips of interview with the losers like Coron (God wasn’t on her side?), Kokoro (it’s her attitude that made her lost as pointed out by her mates), Hercule (too embarrassed), Nero (where’s her politeness?) and Cordelia (still in her delusions she got chosen). And the final two will be Sherlock and Jermaine. And instead of having some debate, the duo have to dance. What does have to do being a detective?

Sherlock hopes this would get Henriette’s attention. Right under your nose… When they dance, Sherlock felt something familiar with Jermaine. Her hand feels familiar and even though Sherlock slips, Jermaine properly guides her back up to dance. Sherlock then had to screw up by doing some weird solo dance move because she got desperate to bring Henriette back. They both resume their elegant dance and at the end, Jermaine wins the mascot girl contest. I guess the judges love her bouncy boobs… When she gives her winner’s speech, she takes off her mask and everyone is well surprised Henriette has returned! Not as emotional as Milky Holmes who really welcome her return. Henriette acknowledges them as great detectives and just when they are about to hug her, they bounce off her boobs and wash basins drop on them. Guess what? They lost their Toys! So dark! Can’t get out! WTF???!!! Nooo!!! NooOOOooOOooOOOO!!! Not again!!! Such a sorry sight… But this time Henriette doesn’t give up. Back at their new school (I guess the open air is such a refreshing change), Henriette and her gentlemen thieves (in their respective school disguise of course) continue to guide Milky Holmes and will start all over from the beginning again. She is confident they will one day arrest Arsene. Now, read out the meaning of Toys. Slowly the other students who left come back.

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Alternative

What’s this?! Wait a minute! Did I believe what I just saw?! Milky Holmes not being the useless and stupid loli detectives we know and the hardworking case solving prodigy detectives that they ought to be?! Is this really true?! And they have their Toys intact too! No Arsene, no gentlemen thieves, no G4 either. That seems to be the case in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes: Alternative. Ah, yes. That is why the ‘alternative’ word is there. In a different parallel storyline that sees Milky Holmes being useful detectives for once and without any sort of bumbling and slapstick idiotic slip-ups that we used to see. This couple of alternative TV specials are based on the PSP game of the same name whereby Milky Holmes reunite with their teacher, Opera Kobayashi in London as they take up cases and solve their mystery.

Episode 1
Just arriving in London, Milky Holmes relishes the chance to experience all things British when they hear the scream of a girl, Lily Adler who just became a victim to a snatch thief. Milky Holmes get into action effectively using their Toys to stop the petty thief’s menace and return Lily’s bag. They learn Lily is a student of Bond Detective Academy and she has a request of them. Kobayashi is having a hard time paying off his rent to Mrs Hudson. The relatively safe streets of London (*eyes rolling*) seem to have affected his ‘rice bowl’. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? No case, no payment. But Milky Holmes is here to save the day as they bring Lily in as their customer. Lily begins that her great grandfather, John Adler’s painting was stolen. He wasn’t a good painter since the painting of her great grandmother was quite amateurish. It went missing from home 6 months ago. Although she reported to the police, no clues were found and she was at her wits end. She views her Toys as useless and hopes they could find her lost painting. The gang gets cracking as they list down several victims who got their paintings stolen. They visit Carl Steirer and despite born a Swiss, he has very much adapted to life as a British. Showing a picture of his father’s group of friends after World War II, in the picture is also John. The painting he received from John was of his final guests. Since they were all acquaintances of John, he gave them each a picture as commemoration. Next they visit Olivia Hunter, the widow of Thomas, one of John’s friends. She pinpoints the other people in the photo that includes Ronald Harker and Major Adair. As they are taking a break, Kobayashi accidentally trips and spills the drink. But Lily’s Toys freezes it. They learn her Toys as freezing liquid into solid objects although she cannot do so over large bodies of water. She does not have confident in her Toys but Sherlock gives her some encouragement that hers too isn’t great but use it when they can in their investigations.

When the gang visit Harker, they see him close to unconscious. Looks like he has been attacked. Before he passes out from sleeping pills, he points out to a book called Invisible Man by R.G. Wells and murmurs the culprit as “Griffin”. Cordelia uses her Toys to smell faint scent of Jasmine when the police inspector Quinn (Kokoro clone?) enters the scene. She does not get along well with Kobayashi and wants him and his amateurs out of the police scene. Milky Holmes are even afraid of her! Noting that Harker’s painting has been stolen, this means there is one more painting left. They visit Mrs Adair but her painting is still intact. Milky Holmes has a strange feeling when she serves them her hospitality. She tells them not to panic and shouldn’t worry about anyone wanting to steal such worthless painting. Back home, Kobayashi knows Milky Holmes has learned something from the investigation. That night as Mrs Adair is seen leaving in haste, Kobayashi and his girls confront her. They know she is the culprit behind the serial thefts and is a con artist. They realize this because the way she serves them wasn’t very British-like. Lemons in tea instead of milk? Raisins in scones instead of sultana? But shouldn’t that boils down to individual taste? Well, Mrs Adair is a very British person, right? Besides, Cordelia picked up the same jasmine scent. Kobayashi has checked the airports and states the real Mrs Adair has left the country a month ago so this one is just an imposter.

True indeed, Phantom Thief Kitty Evans cast away her granny look. This young sexy cat brags about the American art galleries she has robbed and runs away. Catch her if you can. Arriving at Thames River, the gang are surprised they lost sight of her. That’s when they remember Harker’s clues. Since Griffin is the main character in the Invisible Man book, it means Kitty’s Toys is invisibility. Sherlock uses her Toys to pinpoint where Kitty is but it’s not enough to pin her down. Not until Lily freezes the puddle and makes her slip that Milk Holmes is able to arrest her. See? Her Toys came in handy. Before Kitty is taken away, Kobayashi wants to know why she stole those paintings that don’t amount much. She gives out a big laugh and hints about those painting having hidden values. She is after something more valuable than the paintings. Before she could finish her sentence of forever being the best underworld criminal, an air impact knocks her head. Though there is no physical wound, Kitty seems to have lost her memories. Kobayashi types his reports as the serial painting thefts have come to a close, all the paintings were safely recovered and Kitty’s sniper was never found out. Milky Holmes suddenly moves into his home claiming they are bored with the hotel life. Yeah, they’ve got permission from Mrs Hudson and he can sleep in the roof. Plus, Lily will be staying with them till she is able to get back her painting from the police. This is going to be tough…

Episode 2
Mrs Hudson brings her grandson Tommy (Detective Conan dress?) to Kobayashi’s office since afterwards she’ll be bringing him to the Ferris Wheel at Thames River Festival. Among the highlights of the festival is an exhibition of a jet black diamond known as Black Widow once owned by the late Queen Victoria. As Lily prepares to head home with the paintings, upon knowing that her great grandmother’s name is Irene (no connection with the one in the TV series), Kobayashi suddenly sees a connection with the paintings. When Quinn confiscated the paintings there was also an x-ray machine they took in. Putting the paintings under the x-ray, they see haphazard lines. But when put together it looks like some sort of map. The initial letters of the paintings, Irene, Reichenbach Falls, English Channel, Napoleon and Empty House spell IRENE. Putting Irene’s painting as the final piece, there is a raven crest and some sort of message, “The Raven will be hatched from the Black Egg”. Suddenly news just came in that Black Widow has been stolen. The culprit drops in from the ceiling and seemingly fires an invisible gun from his hand. But they don’t have to look far for the culprit because he soon makes an announcement to the detectives. Edgar Moran admits he has the Black Widow in his hand. He explains England used to lurk in London. People were afraid of the darkness. Till electricity and gas came about, London then never slept and filled the streets with constant radiance. With Black Widow, he will suck the country back into the dark ages again. Kobayashi deduces that the Black Widow is the Black Egg as said in the message. Kitty was perhaps under his orders to steal the paintings and when he had no use of her, he eliminated her. London’s route map has been changing ever since the war and the map they’ve got from the painting is the old underground routes of London. The raven crest sits over the British Museum. Probably that was how Moran easily entered and escaped via some secret route.

While Kobayashi and Milky Holmes search the underground routes, Quinn does her research and finds out that Raven was a codename for a virus developed during World War II. Scientists loyal to the Crown reworked on the virus and found it to be very dangerous. Under pressure from ethical researchers, the royal family stopped all research on it and destroy every trace of it. Of course it was impossible to do so with the technology they had. Thus it was sealed underground. One of the scientist’s ancestors must have discovered the secret and drew those pictures as clues for detectives and descendents to destroy it. The virus will remain dormant until a certain light wavelength is shone on it. It is this reason why the Black Widow was stolen. Kobayashi and Milky Holmes manage to find Moran’s underground base. He doesn’t hide the fact that he wants to bring darkness to this world. Why, oh why? Long ago, he fought loyally for his country but a stray comrade’s grenade ‘stole’ his leg. No longer any use to the army, he was discharged. As a handicap, he couldn’t find a decent job or have nowhere to go. In his despair, that’s when his Toys to compress air awaken in him. He vows to use this power to avenge his fallen brethren who died protecting this country. So that’s the reason why he wants to take it out on millions of innocent lives? Milky Holmes sure wouldn’t care about all that but he makes his escape. They have no time to arrest him since he already tells them when Big Ben’s needle reaches eight, the Raven shall rise. Black Widow is sitting atop the Ferris Wheel that Mrs Hudson and Tommy are now in. While the detectives were running about doing their investigation, Moran’s sexy blonde bombshell partner-in-crime coolly planted the egg there.

With time running out, Kobayashi, Sherlock and Lily ‘hijack’ a plane from the museum to get to the Ferris Wheel. Sherlock wants to do a crazy stunt to jump onto it. Of course Lily is afraid but Sherlock wants her to have faith in her telekinetic Toys. See, all safe and sound. Seconds away before the hand strikes eight, Sherlock needs Lily’s power to freeze the egg. As usual, she still doesn’t have much confidence and views Kitty’s arrest as a fluke. Eventually she puts her mind into it and freezes Black Widow just a second before it ends! Hooray! Everyone is saved. Now they get to enjoy the beautiful fireworks as resort. As narrated, Raven is put into eternal slumber (how they do it is a mystery since they did say it was impossible to destroy it). Lily leaves for home while Milky Holmes patron the Sherlock Holmes’ museum. They see a picture of a woman and think it’s his lover. But that great detective was never good with women. Kobayashi points out that woman is Irene, the only woman whom he respected. So, have we seen this woman before? Yeah. Sounds pretty familiar, right? Wait a minute. If Irene is Lily’s great grandma, could it be that she is related to Sherlock Holmes?! Milky Holmes doesn’t think so but back at Lily’s home where she places the painting back in its original place, we see the trademark cap and pipe of that great detective. I presume those aren’t fakes.

Bringing Uselessness To New Heights…
Oh yes! The uselessness is so great that it had to spill over for a third season! Woohoooooooo! Me love Milky Holmes very much! Thanks to their uselessness, this season is once again as enjoyable as the first. I know I was a laughing riot right from the start seeing Milky Holmes in their very deteriorated state and all the silly antics-cum-troubles they get into. I’m guilty in the first degree for harping so much on their uselessness and wanting to see them fail so badly that loli lovers might want to burn me over the stake. Okay, so I do admit that there are times when I felt pity for them. I really wanted them to improve but there is this part of me that says if they do become the great detectives that they are meant to be, they wouldn’t become funny anymore. That takes away a lot of fun. They wouldn’t be the Milky Holmes we know anymore. Being useless is what defines them! But such ‘fear’ is dispelled when I watched Alternative. No doubt that Milky Holmes is much more reliable and there is basically not even a hint of slapstick comedy, the short series itself is enjoyable. Perhaps there are only a couple of them. I’m not sure if I could find that same level of enjoyment if Alternative was extended to a dozen episodes. Anyhow, Alternative is also a good watch but I just feel that Milky Holmes didn’t stand out that much as they did in the TV series. Yeah. Blame the uselessness thingy… Admit it! Who doesn’t love them being so adorable despite being useless?

Once more, Milky Holmes remains the same bunch of useless but lovely loli characters that we know them since the first season. I have said it so many times and I will said it again that we see them from hero to zero to minus negative! You thought they had gone so low that they won’t sink any further. Boy, how wrong we are. They just keep plummeting to all-new record low depths. They forgot about being detectives and went on to play their own Farmville. They even fight for scraps of food! I know it’s not good to waste food but really, they should be using such energy for better things. If I need to point out the worst character among the quartet, it would be Nero. In many instances you can see her scheming and greedy character. She makes others work for her and then takes their compensation. Is this what she has been taught? Even if she has forgotten her Toys or forgotten how to become a detective, she shouldn’t lose touch of her humanity. Of course being the scheming and greedy character is only in the sense of being funny. Hercule is the most decent character. Just that she is just too shy to speak up. She might be the least ‘stupid’ among the quartet as seen in her observation as the first one to notice their faint Toys. I think she really needs to take up some self confidence classes. Sherlock is still that lively detective with some tenacity in her spirit. There’s always sun in her voice despite her overall performance still rates useless. And Cordelia… I think this time she easily sinks into her delusions whenever she wants to escape the harsh reality. The more deluded she is, the more dangerous and berserk she becomes. Ultimately, you shouldn’t mess with Milky Holmes when they are useless too because as proven by the gentlemen thieves, they become ultimate bloodthirsty villains! Holy cow! If not for the comedy genre, it could have turn into a bloody yandere style hack and slash!

Arsene is the most hardworking (and perhaps the coolest) character in the series. For a villain to play the good guy just to get our loli heroines back into shape, she is one to be respected. It is no wonder why the gentlemen thieves will follow her to wherever she goes. However she is also human and every human has their limits. After all that is said and done, Milky Holmes did not improve a single bit and went further down the drain, don’t you think Arsene/Henriette would have had it up to here? I really sympathize with her when she snapped. And when she went on a kill-all spree, I was rooting for her to just beat the crap out of everyone, innocent or not, related or not. Still, she is too strong and even destroying the academy didn’t bring her joy. In her moment of weakness, she ‘ran away’, only to be brought back to her senses. So now that her head is clear, her goal is clear too. She is going to get Milky Holmes back into shape no matter what it takes. Because when she crushes them at their best, all the effort she puts in will be damn worth it. I guarantee you. The gentlemen thieves are still hanging around her. I have nothing much to comment on Stone River or Rat for this season. Stone River is just more fiery and Milky Holmes has trouble remembering Rat’s name. However, the annoying scale of Twenty has shoot through the roof, say by 200%! Yes. For this season, I find sex fiend Twenty more hilariously annoying because his nipples gets more screen time! As much screen time as G4 if I should say. The way he ‘plays’ with his nipples, twisting them, spinning them, elongating them like ropes, its erection sometimes longer than German frankfurters would easily disgust you but at the same time it makes him look so perversely funny. Is this what he calls beautiful? Like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Seriously, you will either laugh or puke when you see Twenty go into ecstasy. So gay. So funny. So revolting. Beauty… Such complicated subject.

This series won’t be complete without G4, though I feel that their presence is particularly lacking with the exception of Kokoro. Tsugiko is still wielding her guns. Hirano still holding on to her lacrosse stick. Saku still typing into the computer with that deadpan look on her face with a lollipop in her mouth. With the decaying of Milky Holmes, G4 has put in more effort to stop Phantom Thief Empire, though the thieves ultimately will get their way in the end. Kokoro has been brattier than ever especially with her favourite sentence of bragging about her IQ intelligence. Each time, it gets more and more zeroes. From 140 to 14,000 to 140,000 to 140,000,000,000,000,000,000~. Ugh… It goes on and on… I don’t think my maths is that good. I don’t even know what a number with 100 zeroes is called Does Kokoro know? Yeah, getting exponential, eh? If she was such a genius, she would have caught Arsene by now. So what does this say? I guess Kokoro and Sherlock are on the same length of stupidity because this has become a running gag for the series. Sherlock calls her “Kokoro-chan” and the loli cop will not hesitate to smash her with her golden mask and retort “Don’t call me that!”. Sherlock never learns her lesson, Kokoro never manages her anger. So they both deserve each other. Heh. Now with Poporo in the picture, are things going to be livelier with this quirky bomb disposal unit in the picture?

As for the other minor characters, those that appear in the previous season, some didn’t appear at all (do you still remember the Kamaboko-abusing Mary and Kate?) and some made very short cameos like Sonia. Irene (the one in the TV series, not the Alternative one) doesn’t feel like she is stalking Kokoro as much before although each time we see her, we can still tell that she is pretty much very obsessed with Kokoro. Kamaboko as the mascot of the series also feels lacking. It’s like I have almost forgotten Milky Holmes have had a pet cat. What can you do when their uselessness is so overwhelming? At least piggy boy has got more screen time and he even gets to play the villain for a single episode. Yeah, how many minor characters can do that? The most baffling character to me is still Arty. She suddenly entered the scene right at the final episode of the first season and in this season, she played a trickster role in tricking Stupid Holmes to do her bidding. After she got what she wanted, she left. You’ll never hear from her ever since. So what was it that she was seeking among the numerous sealed Toys? It’s like her goal never mattered. It’s just a catalyst to drive the story and lead Milky Holmes to the next level in their short-lived evolution. I’m intrigued about her. She doesn’t put on any evil expression and her liveliness is comparable to Sherlock so it is a surprise that when she did this, it never occurred to me that she would be such a character. More than meets the eye, I suppose. I hope the next season will address this. In Alternative, Moran was never captured along with his partner after his plan was foiled. So it’s a sign that it isn’t over yet. The new characters bring fresh quirkiness to the series. Personally the funniest one is still S&M uncle…

Keeping in line with the first season, several ‘traits’ of the series are still present like the mid-intermission which shows Milky Holmes (and sometimes Arsene) in different outfits and poses. There are also the end card drawings and sponsor screen drawings that turn Milky Holmes into chibi characters. My favourite one has got to be chibi Milky Holmes crossing Abbey Road imitating like a certain famous Liverpool rock band. Also, the titles of each episode are based on a detective novel but since I don’t read them, I don’t really recognize them. And as always, the amusing next episode preview in which the narration ends with somebody being accused as the culprit. Do you accuse yourself as the culprit? Except for one next episode preview, the one whereby Arsene is going to slaughter everybody. You can tell the grim tone of it when there is no punch line or joke in there.

The opening theme for the second season is also sung by the quartet seiyuus of Milky Holmes. Entitled Nazo! Nazo? Happiness!!, just like in the first season, it sounds like your typical genki and cheerful anime pop. But unlike in the previous season, we do not have a dark theme that Arsene hogged in the ending credits. Instead, Lovely Girls Anthem by Natsuko Aso is another lively anime disco pop. Although all the girls in this series are the main focus of the ending credits animation (cute girls, cute outfits, cute poses – except maybe for Arsene), notice how Twenty is part of the group?! At least in the final group shot. It just feels funnily odd. So did he really barge in or now not only he considers himself as the most beautiful but the most feminine too? For Alternative, the opening theme is also another lively and cheery piece. Sung by the same Milky Holmes quartet seiyuus, this song was also used as the opening theme for the PSP game. Alternative’s pop rock ending theme is Kimi No Naka No Watashi by Milky Holmes and SV Tribe. At first it was odd to hear a rocker’s voice singing along with such cute loli voices. Then for a while I thought his voice sounded familiar. Hey! Isn’t that Hiroshi Kitadani! The one who sang One Piece’s We Are! I thought he was from JAM Project but recently found out that he was associated with a few other groups like Lapis Lazuli and Stagger, as well as collaborated with other female singers, Masami Okui and Aki Misato.

Watching too much Milky Holmes, laughing at their silly retards and then mocking how dumb they are, has it really made me as stupid as them too? It would have been the case of the pot calling the kettle black and that it takes one to know one. Even being useless, they are still useful because it brings out the best in everybody else. You can only call yourself smart if there are stupid people around, right? Light and shadow must exist together. The question is when are they going to ever get back their Toys. It is not like they have lost it since they have shown signs that it is still there, dormant. Just too dumb to notice it all. Just like me. I’m here sitting and watching Milky Holmes rather than fulfilling my full potential to the company or nation, etc. Wow. If that is what it takes to achieve total bliss and happiness, I think I would want to remain in the comfort zone of being useless for now. Didn’t my father always call me a useless person since young? And I think I’m still on that streak of serial uselessness.

Gunsmith Cats

November 16, 2012

Girls with guns. Don’t mess with them. And if they have a partner who specializes in bombs, you better not get on the wrong side of their books. You’ll get more holes than a Swiss cheese if you push the wrong buttons. Folks, meet the female combo team duo in Gunsmith Cats. Irene “Rally” Vincent is more than just a gunslinger with a pretty face with extensive knowledge with anything to do with guns and is equally skilled in using them while Minnie “May” Hopkins may look like a petite kid but don’t underestimate her highly self styled bombs that she makes. On the surface they may seem to run a gun shop but underneath it all, they are bounty hunters. Hey, if the police can’t take down the rampant outlaw gangs, you might as well want to use these babes to get the job done.

Based on the manga of the same name, this series has been adapted into 3 OVA episodes in 1995 and from what I read, the OVAs are not directly adapted from the manga and are considered more of an original animation story. That’s because from what I read it leaves out lots of major characters from the comic and inserts anime-only supporting characters and the plot that isn’t based on any of the manga’s chapters. So it’s like using the main characters but in a whole new different story. That’s not a bad thing, right? Well, that depends. Because it didn’t follow the events in the manga, some would classify this as a filler. After all, I didn’t really read the manga. As long as we can see them busting around with guns and bombs then I’m okay with that.

Episode 1
Jonathan Washington thought he got a wrong call from a girl when he realizes the sh*t he is in. He quickly gets up and tries to arm himself but a smoke bomb is dropped at his feet. He is arrested by bounty hunter Rally and her partner May. Back at her shop, Rally learns from Becky that even though Washington was arrested for drug charges, they have not found any drugs. Rally wants her to investigate more. Sure. If she pays. A customer comes into her store as recommended by Roy to order a gun. After he leaves, William “Bill” Collins from ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) comes in. He wants them to help out with a sting. Seems that Washington guy was handling guns and not drugs so he was trying to sell them to pay for his bail. Rally caught him before he could do that. So he wants them to contact him and ‘do business’ with him so they can catch him in the act of selling firearms. Since he can’t pay, the girls aren’t interested in the conversation anymore. However Bill resorts to blackmail tactic and has researched the illegal firearms and explosives they possess. No choice but to cooperate. If they’re successful, he’ll get them the licence to sell those stuffs and also tax deductions. Bill makes his way out and the girls show him the middle finger. The girls leave for home and discuss about Bill’s offer. And badmouth him. Unknown to them, Bill and his team are staking outside their house. They heard everything… Late that night, a group of thugs break into their house to steal weapons. Little do they know, they have sounded the silent alarm. Rally gets excited because it’s been ages since something like this happened but isn’t thrilled when May wants to get in with the action as well. As the burglars rummage through the secret room filled with firearms, Rally hits the light switch off and nails them with a couple of shots. Even if the baddie was holding a submachine gun, he missed! The last thief runs away but he ran the wrong direction. He ran upstairs and triggers May’s bombs. Boom! Thank goodness they’re just smoke screen. Soon all the thugs get arrested but their collection has also been confiscated. Rally thinks Bill had it all planned but he insists he did. Rally has no choice but to agree with his deal but with one condition. She will do it her way and doesn’t want him following her. Isn’t that two?

Rally goes to see Washington in jail and wants to buy all his ‘toys’. He agrees to do it but needs her to pay the ‘deposit’. How much? She’ll have to ask the court. Oh, it’s his bail. Rally reports to Bill and she feels she can’t trust him. He assures her he isn’t following and the good job she is doing. Bill gets called by his boss, George Black that 3 infiltrators have been killed. Bill thinks someone from ATF is leaking information especially from the Illinois branch. He can’t say because he has no evidence yet. Worse come to worse, he’ll go undercover. Meanwhile Rally gets an earful from Becky Farrah for accepting such a dangerous assignment. She promises to make it up by treating her to dinner. As long it isn’t Chinese or pizza. Really? That simple? I thought it was only through the stomach that you need to convince men. Rally then brings Becky along. Why? To watch May so she won’t go crazy. Rally arrives at the warehouse and goes in alone. After that thorough body check for weapons (that guy doing the body search must be real lucky), she is brought to Washington upstairs. He needs her to pass a test first before they conduct their deal. Inside a room, Rally is shown Bill tied up. He says they spotted a suspicious guy lingering outside and their boss recognized him and ringed him in, they discovered he is a government official. At first Rally feigns he didn’t recognize him and when she does, she blows his cover by revealing he is the weasel that tries to convince her to sell him out. Washington hands him Bill’s gun. So the test is to shoot him? Rally can tell there are no bullets in it so Washington gives her one. After confirming where the goods are, Rally prepares to shoot Bill. But in that single bullet breaks his ropes and wounded the lackey’s knee. Then in swift action, Rally and Vincent pull off stunning manoeuvres to turn the tables on their captors. The others get a feeling what has happened inside the room and move to surround the place.

Becky sees the lights go off and thinks something bad has happened. I’m not sure how May got free from her binds but she scoots off into the building thinking it’s her time for debut. While Bill and Rally round up Washington, the wall and door are greeted with a hail of bullets. Thankfully they have foreseen this and were hiding. Otherwise those goons who couldn’t care less about Washington could have put holes in him too. Bill and Rally soon bust out to do some slick gun shooting moves that put those thugs to shame. They only got a pistol and make each bullet count while the baddies armed with machine guns sprayed the entire area and couldn’t hit their target. Rally is trapped on the walkway above so one of the baddies tries to use a crane to wreck everything and bring her down. Her clothes get stuck so she tries to improvise by stripping but her gun fell down. Now she’s unarmed. And semi-naked. Bill is also having problems with the shotgun guy. May busts in looking for Rally and this distracts the baddies. In precision timing, Bill jumps out endangering himself so he could throw Rally’s gun to her. Rally jumps down to fire her at the shotgun guy while Bill takes out the crane operator. Nice teamwork. But the shotgun guy isn’t out yet and has a hidden pistol in his sleeves. That’s when May barges back in to drop all her bombs on him! As for Becky, she’s feigning she didn’t see or know anything. In the aftermath as the bad guys are arrested, amazingly after all that gun fight, there were no casualties! I thought some died! Rally and May argue and blame each other for being reckless but ultimately put the blame on Bill. But he pretends he couldn’t hear that and since he has no shame, he requests the girls for another favour. Oh no. That doesn’t sound like a joke. Run away!

Episode 2
Russian freelance mercenary, Natasha Radinov (I thought she was a guy!) just killed the security guard and completed some other shady activities that includes receiving a suitcase of heroine. Those Japanese guys thought they could mock her by speaking in Japanese but she just kept quiet and ignore them. They get a call from their boss requesting her for another job. Of course there’ll be additional fees for the job. Radinov is happy that this might involve killing somebody. Meanwhile Washington is being interrogated by Rally and May in a room in ATF’s safe house (supposedly the safest place in Washington. Washington as in the place lah). Washington is in a panic and pleads them to get him out of here and have information regarding the organization. They assure this place is safe but he tells them the ATF can’t be trusted. Rally doesn’t seem convinced so he gives her his Rolex watch so that she can deliver it to his daughter at this address but she’s reluctant to do it. The ATF guys come into the room and the conversation ends. The ladies walk out but Washington slips it into the back of May’s pocket. Then he tells them what he said is true and they’ll soon witness it. By that time, he won’t be alive. Seems May have taken up this delivery job and Rally isn’t happy she took that assignment that doesn’t profit them a single cent. Well, she’s the one to say. Suddenly Rally has to swerve her car to the side or else she would have crashed into that crazy Radinov b*tch coming from the other direction. On the TV news, mayoral electorate hopeful, Senator Edward Haints is boosting his image working with ATF and pledge for a safer America with the extermination of illegal firearms. Radinov enters the safe house and coolly kills all the ATF guards with ease! She’s like a walking arsenal because underneath her trench coat are weapons and bullets! Washington is hiding in the toilet and fears for his life. He pleads he has information on the organization but she doesn’t listen and kills him. The area is soon cordoned off and Black isn’t happy how things are going and takes Bill off the case. It’s not that he suspects him and knows someone is trying to pull a con on him but he says this isn’t a battlefield and won’t get any medal for impressing.

Radinov is back home when she receives a call from her employer. Seems her next target is Rally and May and she has done her research on them. However she has no information on the fourth person and that this man will never imagine his own partner will kill him. Meanwhile Rally and May have arrived at the address to deliver the Rolex. But Washington’s daughter… A big burly man?! WTF?! Back home, Becky thinks it is a fake Rolex and a fake address. Rally fools around with May till the latter falls down on the floor. She then notices a bugging device. Bill and his team are still eavesdropping on the girls when suddenly Becky knocks on their door to deliver pizza. Busted. Rally tells him off if he has time to snoop around, he should be getting his ass to do her licence. No choice, they leave. But all that talk was just to buy May enough time to plant a bomb underneath their van. At a distance, it goes boom! Don’t worry, nobody died. Just lots of equipment damaged. Oh, Radinov is around the corner watching. Becky is trying to figure out the connection of the watch and address. Rally thinks hard and remembers Washington was at his computer when she met him at the warehouse. They think the address is some sort of code to a website. May also sees a number on the watch and Becky thinks this is some secret access code. Putting them together brings them to an adult website. But neatly hidden beneath it is data for all the transactions for the illegal firearms before ATF seized them. This data could fetch a high price but they only need evidence now. Rally and May quickly leave to get things done before Becky could finish printing them out. On the other hand, happy Bill has just finished printing those data after yet another round of spying.

While Becky continues to stay safe in the car as usual, Rally and May infiltrate the suspicious yacht club. I mean, it’s a little heavily guarded, don’t you think? They manage to get inside the warehouse that houses the firearms but it was a setup. The baddies corner them because their boss told them they would pull such a stunt. However the girls have tricks up their sleeve. May releases a flash grenade to blind them and Rally uses her slick moves to shoot them all out. However she could’ve been Radinov’s next victim if not for Bill who is conveniently at the scene. Radinov makes her escape but bumps into May crawling around. She intends to kill her but because of the police sirens, she kidnaps her instead. Rally isn’t thrilled Bill is here and thinks he is the one who staged all this but he says he doesn’t trust the ATF more than she does. Suddenly they realize May is kidnapped so Rally gets into her car to start the high speed pursuit. I’m not sure how long Rally has been horning but it was enough to wake May up from her unconsciousness and signal the start of some synchronized attack thingy of theirs. I can’t believe Radinov didn’t tie May up properly and this allowed her to interrupt her driving. May is thrown to the back seat and during the high speed chase, May sets up her bombs. On the freeway, the ladies are breaking every rule there is to safety driving. Keep both hands on the steering (they were driving with one hand and firing with the other)! Keep both eyes on the road ahead! Don’t tailgate! Don’t swerve in and out and in between lanes! People, please don’t imitate them. Radinov shoots the wheel of a truck to send it crashing into Rally behind but her slick precision driving means she avoids the big bang. When Rally manages to fire at Radinov, shooting off her ear stud (bloodied ear?), she becomes enraged and is going to kill May. The petite girl has already finished setting her bombs and presses the detonate button. The back window shatters and the blasts send May hurtling outside towards Rally’s car behind. If not for Becky’s terrific catch, May could’ve been splat! People, another reminder not to imitate such dangerous stunt! But it was awesome! Radinov trying to regain her composure realizes she has just gone off the bridge and in mid-air another explosion turns the car into a fiery fireball. Dead for good? Rally and May are happy their tactic paid off but Rally knows this isn’t over yet by a long shot.

Episode 3
Though the police has cordoned off the area for investigations, they found the car but no body. I guess you know what this means. As for Rally, May and Becky, they’re being ‘scolded’ by their boss, Roy Coleman for the mess they’ve gotten into. He shows them a file on Radinov about the ruthless killing machine she is. She was once from the KGB but now is a freelance. Nicknamed Bloody Pierce because of her lethal skills, she is a murder machine that has been doing some illegal business for a long time and recently entered the country illegally via Canada. He wants them to leave the case to them. When the trio leave, they are surprised to see a knife sticking out from their car’s bonnet. Rally knows it is her sign for revenge. Back at their base, Rally gets a call from Haints. Seems he wants to give them an award and spearhead his campaign for anti-illegal firearms since the weapons case is finished. But Becky notes Radinov is still alive and they haven’t found out who is pulling the strings in ATF. Rally thinks it’ll be their chance to appeal directly to the government but Becky wishes to decline because it’ll be bad for her business if she shows her face and will leave it to them. Back home, May suggests Rally to try out high heels she bought for her for the event. Let’s say Rally doesn’t suit walking in them. Heck, she can’t walk well. May quips in that case the men will just come over to her. Speaking of which, there is one at the door now. It’s Bill. See, what did May say about men coming to her? Anyway Bill wants Rally’s cooperation again or else the case will be cancelled. She’s not interested and has already made arrangements to deal directly with a certain VIP tomorrow. Bill is ushered away by a policeman who has orders not to let anyone near them. Not even the President of USA. Gee, I’m glad he is dedicated to his job. Bill is back at his office when his colleague Cathy shows him suspicious telephone usage record from the safe house which is supposed to be closed off. And the user is Black. Conveniently, he is on sudden vacation now. I guess he’s the one pulling all the strings, eh? Don’t guys like him know how to cover his tracks? Bill lauds her for a good job and hopes she could keep this a secret.

Black has packed his bags and gone to see Radinov. He is panicking that he can’t hide it from them anymore and wants her to take him along. He can pay how much she wants. However Radinov is on the phone with another person and it seems the order is to eliminate him. Without mercy, Radinov shoots him dead. One bad turn deserves another. When Bill and his partner Jody barge in the house, they see Black’s body. Bill knows he is dealing with a professional killer and takes away a bomb trap hidden in Black’s body. They could’ve been blown to bits had they moved the body carelessly. Jody then carelessly redials the telephone to see the last number Radinov made and it connected to Haints’ office. Well, well. Looks like Radinov and Haints are a team, eh? Bill sees photos of Rally and May on the wall and knows they are her next target. And I guess he also realizes the VIP they’re going to see tomorrow so he rushes out. When Jody puts down the phone, it triggers a bomb and the entire house goes boom! That’s a professional killer for you. Radinov is seen talking to Haints on the phone. Although she is supposed to leave the city but she wants to remain till she finishes off those ladies. It’s a matter of pride. The rain is delaying the event as Rally and May wait in the tent. Haints’ men need to make sure of his image and have them remove all the guns and bombs. Much to their dismay. Roy assures he will look after their weaponry. As the event is underway, Haints presents the award to Rally as Radinov edges closer to the front. As she pulls out her guns, Bill shouts to warn Rally. Conveniently that distracted Radinov for a while but not before firing all she’s got before escaping. Luckily Rally’s high heels broke so Radinov’s shots miss and destroy the award instead. Seriously I don’t think they needed the plaque either. With the place in panic, Roy and Becky spots Bill badly bruised. He needs to warn Rally because this event is a trap for her. Rally and May retrieve their weapons and chase after Radinov. Rally thinks she has got Radinov cornered at the rooftop of a remodelling museum and tells her to lifts her arms in the air and turn around. However she has already planted a bomb in the nearby water tank and sets it off. The impact blows Rally off her feet and throws May off the building. If not for the ropes, she could’ve gone straight down. Radinov sticks a knife in Rally’s shoulders and won’t kill her easily and will make her suffer. May throws a flash bomb up to temporarily blind Radinov. By the time she recovers, Rally has already escaped.

May is seen carrying bleeding Rally inside the museum. She assures Rally she has set lots of traps. But Radinov isn’t stupid. She sees through all the traps and even throws a fire extinguisher into the hallway filled with bomb traps to make them think she has taken the bait. Then she follows the bloodied trail that leads her to the duo hiding inside the woman’s toilet. Thinking she has got them cornered in the cubicle, before she could start her trigger frenzy, May presses her detonate button for the bomb set where Radinov is standing and blows her away. Meanwhile Haints thinks of getting away and will use this chance to escape while the media is preoccupied with Radinov. In his room, he is surprised to see Radinov standing at the corner and tells her off about pointing the gun at him on stage too. He wants to call their partnership off and return all the heroine he gave. He gets a little scared when he thinks Radinov is going to kill him and tries to worm his way out like a politician. Just like all bad guys, he notices the gun on the table and picks up to shoot her. Guess what? It is empty. It is revealed that this ‘Radinov’ is Roy’s assistant in disguise and Becky hiding behind the curtain has recorded his confession live to the media. Yeah, what a big scoop. Everybody has seen this dirty politician’s trick. What a way to get the media to suddenly focus on you, eh? Haints thinks he can escape but outside are Roy and his men waiting to arrest him. And Haints can still try to talk about how he is doing all the cleaning of illegal immigrants and gangs for America?! Did what?! Rally and May are safe and picked up. May thinks they were careless this time but Rally thinks Radinov too was careless. Radinov is wheeled away into the ambulance but suddenly, yes SUDDENLY she jumps out with an axe in hand (where and how did she get that?!) and is going to chop Rally to pieces. Rally can’t move because her arm is bandaged. Bill fires a shot to break the axe. Rally follows up by pumping several shots into Radinov’s body to put an end to her for good. Bill wonders if Rally thinks better of him now that he can be useful. It ends with Rally noting that this is how strong they’ve got to be if they want to live in this city.

Armed and Dangerous…
So it was rather entertaining and my favourite part is of course the action bits. They were exciting enough to draw me in and glued to my seat. And sometimes the edge of my seat. The first episode’s warehouse gun shootout with the baddies is amazingly cool. The second episode’s high speed car chase with Radinov is exhilarating. The final episode’s face off with the terminator may not be as intense but it is still a good watch. Overall, it is the action that scores highly and the reason why one should watch this series but may not satisfy hardcore action junkies. I’m sure they try to throw in some fanservice too with some scenes of Rally and May fighting in their underwear (the scene whereby thugs broke into their house) but don’t get your hopes high up too much and consider them as just little extra bonuses. As for the storyline, well, it’s nothing extraordinary. Typically, the duo get involved in a conspiracy that endangers themselves and after a little digging here and there, the culprit is always the people at the top. See? So predictable. I could have guessed that when Haints made his first appearance, I had a hunch that this guy isn’t what he really seems to be on TV. True enough, he is the biggest crook and he got what he deserves like all baddies in televisions get. Smaller fries like Black get killed. And our heroines come out tops, smarter and wiser from the experience. Happy ending. End of story.

The one thing I find very odd is about the setting of this anime in Chicago, Illinois. Actually it isn’t the setting that is odd. I just find that for this very heavily American themed series, for the characters to speaking in Japanese to be just weird. I know I could have ‘neutralized’ that by watching the dubbed version but you know me, I am very anti-dubs and would rather put up with this weirdness than hearing a different voiceover. So like the senator, he is like speaking as if a Japanese instead of a true blue American. Weird, right? As I found out, despite having just only 3 episodes, there were lots of research put into this anime to make this series have this local feeling that you are in Chicago. Well, I haven’t been to that city in America so I couldn’t identify any landmarks. The production team also consulted with the actual Illinois police academy and research on the guns because as we know, Japan has a very tight control on its guns.

As mentioned, the anime leaves out lots of other characters. That means you don’t get any deep character development for even Rally and May. From what I briefly skimmed through Wikipedia, they have lots of history and ‘happenings’ in their life (the manga lasted for 9 volumes). They have the personality and past that would make worthy a discussion among enthusiasts. In the OVAs, you don’t see much of it and just get to know that they are a team of highly skilled bounty hunters, that’s all. I think they were trying to put in some romance between Rally and Bill by making them look good as a makeshift team combo but I don’t think it’ll work out. It never. Maybe they have good sync in that area but chemistry wise, they just fail to click. And May is always such a tease sometimes when it comes to Rally and men. So what happens to them all in such an ‘abrupt’ ending? Life goes on as usual for the living. Crime fighting never ends. That sort of thing.

The drawing and art despite being old school is acceptable since it is during that era but it is nothing much to shout about. Still, they manage to pull off some good designs for the cars and give details to the guns in Rally’s possession. Even the action is smooth and because of its realism (nothing that really goes overboard in defying physics), this is one of the reasons why I said that the action in this anime is quite worth the watch. This series should be a decent watch for those wanting a little action in the backdrop of an American city but not might sit well with hardcore fans of the original manga series. If you’re thinking that America is one dangerous place to live, just to assure you, this entire world is one big dangerous place. As long as there are places where humans will tread, you’re never safe. Not even from yourself. So it’s best to have some sort of self defence and alliance to keep your behind safe. You know what they say about cats having 9 lives? The way Rally and May are chalking up their enemies, they might have already extend their 1ups to over a hundred.

Before the start of the second season which is supposed to start in January 2012, there has been a release of a special episode called Tantei Opera Milky Holmes OVA. Yes, this single episode was enough to send back flooding memories about a bunch of ‘useless’ detective lolis even if they carry the great names of their famous detective forefathers. So bumbling and retard that their clumsiness and screw ups are the source of comedy and hilarity of the series. Do we really blame their lost of Toys or is it just them?

I’m not sure if this OVA is set after the events at the end of the TV series or somewhere in between. There was one flashback scene whereby it was from the final episode of the TV series (that was what I remembered) but then again at the end of the show, there is a next episode preview, which is one of the middle episodes in the TV series. Since this OVA is about Kokoro, I remember there was one episode whereby Irene kidnapped Kokoro so could it be a continuation from there? So could this be a missing episode in between or just something random. Heck, I couldn’t care less about that as long as they bring in the laughs.

The episode starts off with Tsugiko, Hirano and Saku preparing to infiltrate a heavily guarded mansion. It is a mission to rescue Kokoro taken as hostage. Probably the guards are just for show because the trio dispatches them easily like pros and when they arrive at the main room, their shock wasn’t seeing Milky Holmes at the scene but rather Kokoro happily singing like an idol in front of happy Irene. Uh… What’s going on? Anyway everyone is so thrilled by Kokoro’s singing that they join in the dance!!! WTF?! Till they realize each other. The girls are reprimanding Irene for kidnapping Kokoro but the smart girl gives and excuse that she found her unconscious on the road. Though, she was the one who made her that way. As for Kokoro, what’s with that getup? Feeling embarrassed? I’m sure she was just making up an excuse that they took too long to rescue her and thus dressed up like an idol to catch Irene off guard. Excuses, excuses… Well, Irene had 2 reasons why she ‘kidnapped’ Kokoro. Firstly, she’s cute (everyone has their weird fetishes) and secondly, her father’s company is going bankrupt. Again? The gold that she found was confiscated by the government. So Irene thought of turning Kokoro into an idol to scrounge up some money. Well, it’s not like Kokoro approved of it. Has she got a choice?

Back at the police headquarters. Seems G4’s office has been reduced to a narrow and cramped room. After all their failures and Kokoro’s recent kidnapping, I guess G4 has fallen down the ranks and got ‘reassigned’. The room is even smaller than Milky Holmes’ run down attic… Anyway Kokoro is shouting at the top of her lungs that she’s a police officer, bla bla bla, some unimportant flashbacks, bla bla bla, something about her IQ that has lots of zeroes in it (I agree with the zeroes and not any other number) that astounds those Harvard guys. Sheesh. You’re making the room feel even more cramp! Because her teammates aren’t interested, Kokoro threatens that she may take up Irene’s offer as an idol. You know what? They still don’t care! They don’t give a damn. Not a single sh*t! Kokoro panics and throws in a desperate move by saying that they’ll be lonely without her. Aren’t they going to stop her? Not interested… So much for friends. So how? I guess Kokoro is really desperate for some assurance so much so she ran down to Holmes Detective Academy to ask Milky Holmes if they will be lonely if she’s gone. Loser… Their reaction? They are ecstatic that she’s awakened to her idol side! Yeah, Nero wants to make character goods and sell them for profit! $$$ Ching! Ching! Even worse, Sherlock will support her all the way if that’s what she wants to achieve her dream. Fine. If that is how everybody wants to be, Kokoro slams her golden mask on the ground and calls it quits.

Soon Kokoro becomes the new idol in town, mesmerizing and racking up fans faster than filing up a glass of water. She attends lots of talk shows, lots of publicity and her face is literally everywhere in town. Kokoro! Kokoro! Kokoro! Come on. You want to cheer on her too, right? Yeah, that autography and hand shaking session has swelled her right hand. And you thought texting was the only reason that could sore your hands and fingers this big. While Irene is fawning over Kokoro, her dad is ecstatic that he can finally free himself from bankruptcy with all the money they have made. Milky Holmes is part of the crowd waiting to catch a glimpse of Kokoro coming out from the backstage into her limo. Sherlock calls out to her and her natural reaction was to protect herself from her gold mask. That didn’t happen. Did Kokoro hear her at all? Well, she’s in a different world now. So different that Sherlock feels somewhat empty. But why the heck is she bumming around at the cramp room of G3 (the new name for the police girls minus Kokoro)?! It’s already so cramp, they don’t need another one to fill in Kokoro’s shoes! Yeah, she’s annoying too… As Sherlock is feeling sad that Kokoro has gone away, Henriette reminds her of her duty to become a detective and not blame her uselesslesslesslessless-ness on someone else. This has Sherlock pondering the meaning of duty and dream.

The day of Kokoro’s concert, Arsene and her team steal Yokohama’s Red Shoes Riding Hood. Milky Holmes goes into action but they weren’t startled. Instead, they’re happy that they’ve found the meaning of duty and dream. Their duty as detectives and Kokoro’s dream of being an idol. What? Kokoro sees a news report of the battle between Phantom Thief Empire against Milky Holmes and G3. Looks like deep down in her heart, she is itching to get back into the action but Irene shuts the TV and passes her the mike. It’s idol time. Kokoro sings her heart out on stage while the battle rages on outside the stadium. Milky Holmes lives up to their useless reputation by getting beaten to a pulp. I’m wondering why Tsugiko and Hirano are fighting against each other? Saku is left ‘paralyzed’ when her lollipop is taken away from her mouth. Like taking candy from a baby, eh? Then the large screen in the stadium shows the battle outside. Kokoro stops for a while and is concerned but remembers that they didn’t give a damn about her because they didn’t even try to stop her from leaving. As she continues singing, she hears Sherlock confronting Arsene. Barely standing herself, Sherlock pours out her feelings on Kokoro. She didn’t want her to quit as a police officer and wanted her back because she was lonely (who else is going to hit her with the golden mask?). However she didn’t want to stop her from fulfilling her dream to become the world’s number one idol. So in order to put her at ease and not them see them in this pitiful state (too late girls), they have got to pull it together. For the sake of her dream. But Arsene doesn’t give a sh*t and kicks her away. Milky Holmes regroups and dart towards Arsene and her men. Look how cute they are dashing in tears, no? At that moment, Kokoro’s heart twitched. She knew what she wanted to do.

Before both sides could clash, a microphone is thrown between them. A girl in a golden mask stands before them. Heck, everyone can tell it’s you Kokoro. Then she throws her mask at Arsene but it hits Sherlock! Haha! I guess it’s her destiny to get whacked by it after all. So didn’t Kokoro give up being an officer? Well, she did not say she quit (eh? I thought she did? Did she forget?). That’s right, she’s back as a police officer. Oh boy. Milky Holmes and G3 are happy to see her and rush towards her to pester her for a plan. But being the stupid heroines they are, Arsene and her men got away scot free with the statue. Bummer. Another black mark in their records. Meanwhile Irene’s dad is in tears once more because he’s on the verge of bankruptcy. Something about he flopped big time selling his assets via foreign exchange. Maybe he should just leave running his company to Irene. As for that little smart girl, she isn’t giving up on Kokoro yet. Kokoro is back with a vengeance in the little cramp room. Yes, she’s laying down her goals but why the heck is Milky Holmes doing here? How cramp can the room get with 8 lolis in it?! While Sherlock is glad to have her back, Nero isn’t too happy because without her being an idol, all the character goods she made are now useless. Yup. She’s here to hand an invoice for the materials to make the goods. Yeah, why the hell must she pay! Lastly, Milky Holmes is watching a musical programme whereby Kokoro is supposed to star in and say her final goodbye to her fans. But it turns out to be Mori Arty making her debut song. The girls are taken in by her cuteness.

Idol Reject!
Yes, this OVA definitely lives up to its hype and serves as an appetizer before the second season. I’m very much anticipating to catch that to see more useless action from the bunch. They may be useless but they’re doing it in an annoyingly cute way so I guess that’s okay :). So basically this episode has Kokoro in focus as an idol though it feels as though she’s just trying to get back at her comrades for not caring enough for her. At moments you feel that even though she’s doing a fine perfect job as one, there is hesitation in her looks that could indicate that she misses the good ol’ police job. However if you really ask me, the police could be better off without her! Yeah, she should just join the Milky Holmes and become one big bungling family. On another note, I don’t think Kokoro would be good in any other jobs she ventures in. Haha! Is that an insult! Don’t worry, we all love you as much as we love Milky Holmes. Because of their twisted never-give-up attitude, it’s hard not to cheer for them. Looks like Arsene has still got a long way to make those loli detectives back to where they once were famed for. Oh, looks like they really stole the statue for good.

I think the number 130 is the number of the series. I don’t know what obsession Kokoro has with this number but this time her IQ level in this OVA just blew up to 1,300,000,000,000!!! I don’t even know how to pronounce this number. Then there are other times this number denomination appears like shaking hands with 1,300 people and her 130,000,000 copies of her debut CDs were sold. I thought the final number on Nero’s invoice should be 130,000,000 Yen instead of 38,000,000 Yen… The Gentlemen Thieves rarely had their screen time here. But it’s a good thing because it means we see less of Twenty’s self loving and distasteful nipples caressing antics. Well, there is one scene that he is scene kissing his life size bolster. So until then, my dream is that Milky Holmes never regain their Toys and continue fumbling in every mission and earn themselves a name in the Guinness Book of Records for being the most unreliable detectives in history. Or else they can quit and try being an idol. And fumble all over again.

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes

September 4, 2011

Who is the greatest phantom thief ever? Lupin, you say? What about the greatest detective? Detective Conan? Even if there is a cross-over movie about their battle of wits, this blog isn’t about them. Instead, where in the world would you find the world’s greatest fictional detectives of Sherlock Holmes, Cordelia Gray, Hercule Poirot and Nero Wolfe coming together as a team and combating and solving crimes together? In Tantei Opera Milky Holmes, that is! Well, at least their descendants.

In a typical detective comedy anime genre, we have Sherlock Shellingford, Cordelia Glauca, Hercule Barton and Nero Yuzurizaki as the quartet of the famous Milky Holmes team and of the famed Holmes Detective Academy which hones future detectives. Yes, not only they have their great forefathers as their background status, in this anime, the existence of Toys that grants users superhuman abilities and strengths. And thus, our Milky Holmes has always been protecting the city of Yokohama by thwarting the Phantom Thief Empire group, led by enigmatic and sexy Arsene and her band of fellow ‘gentlemen’ thieves consisting of swordsman Stone River, fire explosives expert Rat and the very-annoying, very-vain, self-proclaimed-most-beautiful-thing-in-the-world stripper but craft card magician Twenty.

Episode 1
However, Milky Holmes grand luxury life at the academy comes to a rude and abrupt halt. About a month ago while battling Arsene and her underlings to stop them from stealing a prized museum jewel, the detectives suddenly lost their Toys. As a result, Phantom Thief Empire got away scot-free with the jewel. Which also means, they’ve become relatively ‘useless’ and nothing but typical loli dykes. I mean, back at the academy, they get up late for class, take things for granted, blame each other and are even clumsy. Get what I mean? I guess it is part of Arsene’s plan to ‘revive’ their Toys back as the quartet infiltrate the academy grounds as school staff. Arsene as Henriette Mystere the student council president, Stone River as Ishinagare the gardener and cook, Twenty as Kai Nijuuri the sick-stripping homeroom teacher of Milky Holmes and Rat as Nezu their classmate (yeah, just Japanese translation of their original names). Perhaps the best phantom thief wants to only fight the best cream of the crop detective team so I suppose that’s why Arsene is ‘working real hard’ to get their Toys back as they were trained by the legendary detective Kobayashi Opera (note at all their awards and certificates decorating the room). Losing their Toys even makes them worse off than before as they don’t even fare well in their studies. Henriette notes that though they have been skilled detectives, the pampered lives in their dorms may have caused them to fall greatly. Thus she puts the Milk Holmes team to a test to diffuse a time bomb in any way they can. If they are successful, they will continue to enjoy the privileges that they deserved as the famous detective, otherwise they will stand to lose everything simply because, you can’t house a bunch of useless good-for-nothing lolis if they can’t even produce a simple result, right? Yeah, no special favour. Besides, it’s to see if their separation from Toys is a temporary one or not (what the heck is that useless uselesslessless uselesslesslessness tongue twister?!). Try as they might and no matter how hard, they couldn’t use their Toys and in the end the bomb explodes (ripping their certificate). Henriette announces their expulsion. However to be fair, she gives them 3 months to improve in which failure means absolute expulsion. Milky Holmes are grateful to her that they have a second chance. That is just the good news. Everything else, goes downhill from now. They have been kicked out of their individual rooms and are now placed in a creaky humid attic. Yeah, now they have to share a bed. They start blaming each other if the other had stopped the bomb in time but Sherlock says not to fight among themselves and that they promised each other to cooperate and become fine detectives. Well, better start working hard. Three months isn’t a long time.

Episode 2
Erm… Do we see them striving their best to amend the wrongs? Nope. Instead, we see them fighting over little food crumbs. Yeah, food has become such a scarcity. How does it feel like to live the life of the poor? As for Phantom Thief Empire, they’re making headlines with their steal once more. Hey, Milky Holmes isn’t there to stop them anymore, right? In school, more food woes for Milky Holmes. Not only they have been put at a rundown table, their food ration has been significantly decreased! From a roast pork to just a little potato? Be grateful, damn it! Yeah, they’re really breaking apart. Then in class, it’s no more first class tables but broken and shabby ones. On the positive side, since mushrooms are growing out of it, why not collect them and make a mushroom meal? Ever thought of it being poisonous? Heck, who cares? Hungry lolis can’t complain. And Nijuuri is upset that they’re cooking the mushrooms in the middle of art class (?!) than drawing his beautiful body. Sicko. WTF?! Sickly erected nipples?! Oh God?! Somebody stop this guy! It’s a sin not to look at his beautiful body?! WTF?! Milky Holmes are punished and as usual they argue. Later Sherlock finds a stray kitten and brings it home. Calling it Kamaboko (some fish paste – all they ever think about is food now), the little kitten does wonders in their strained relationship as the quartet are happy just with Kamaboko around. Plus, they have to keep it a secret since dorm rules disallow them to keep pets. Then one day, Ishinagare finds that the bread for other students are stolen and accuses Milky Holmes for stealing them due to their quarrel the other day (“I will sell my soul to the devil just to eat those bread”). Other ambiguous actions also points to them like Cordelia not hungry and Hercule not stopping their wrongdoings. However Cordelia notices the real culprit stealing bread in the background: Kamaboko. For the sake of the kitten and her friends, she decides to take the blame and admits she is the thief. She is thrown into prison while the rest try to bail her out. But seeing that they’re great (make that ex) detectives, they decide to do some good old investigation. Anyway their methods suck. Eventually the trail of bread crumbs lead them back to their attic as they see Kamaboko happily eating the bread it stole. Then they see a (lousy) sketch from Cordelia, how she values their friendship and realized she took the blame. And Cordelia must be going crazy since she manages to draw and fantasize her noble act as a great saviour. Maybe it’s just self-gratification after all. Soon Cordelia is released. As Henriette learns the truth and true culprit, she too admits that she is wrong for jumping to conclusions without doing proper investigations. But she asserts that keeping pets are still prohibited. However if the pet has already found a place to settle down, then it can’t be helped. You know what this means, right? Hooray. They can keep Kamaboko. And everybody goes back to have a good night’s sleep in their cramped bed while Stone River undergoes more self training for making such a blunder.

Episode 3
As they watch the news, a group of policewomen known as Genius 4 or G4, led by Kokoro Akechi, Tsugiko Zenigata, Hirano Hasegawa and Saku Tooyama are confident of nabbing Phantom Thief Empire since Milky Holmes weren’t able too. Plus, Kokoro is badmouthing the detectives and even showing them the middle finger (blurted out of course)! Milky Holmes invited themselves to help out but gets into all sorts of blunders and traps. This time the museum is heavily guarding a Venus-like statue. Kokoro doesn’t like those useless lolis one bit (always smacking Sherlock with her golden mask each time she calls her Kokoro-chan) and decides to play a devilish prank on them to regain their toys about playing some Twister-like game based on a Pharaoh’s lithograph. All lies! But Milky Holmes sincerely believed her! Makes you wonder how the heck they became cream of the crop. Did they lose their intelligence to when they lost their Toys? Milky Holmes obediently listen and do all the stretching Twister moves in hopes of getting their Toys back, much to Kokoro’s amusement. Finally the whole ‘process’ fails when Hercule couldn’t do a move which puts her in an embarrassing sex-like position and causes everyone else to fall. G4 gets back to work while Nero blames Hercule for her failure. Then Phantom Thief Empire arrives with the entire place blackening out. Cordelia has a fear of dark places so she’s going crazy. G4 are led on a wild goose chase due to Arsene’s illusion Toys. In the end, the thieves got away due to another blooper from Cordelia after she trips and destroys Saku’s computer that would’ve bring them to the culprit’s hideout. Milky Holmes are thrown into jail and it’s mind blowing that they’re relishing jail food! Haven’t eaten this much since they’ve lost their privileges, eh? Henriette comes by to bail them out since the academy’s reputation is at stake if they’re left here for eternity. Back in their attic, Nero continues to blame Hercule so she runs away. Thinking she must’ve felt responsible, they rush back to the museum to see her doing those Twister moves. They apologize and made up but it seems the gentlemen thieves are also here to return the statue (because it was fake in the first place). They start facing each other and in a twist of fate, Cordelia and Twenty got trapped in a coffin together. Oh the horror! She’s going to die from the grossness before the darkness could even get to her. Everyone cooperates to get them out but to no avail. Till Cordelia yells that something weird is touching her did Hercule suddenly lifts the top lid, throws it away so much so it landed and crush a parked car outside! Thankfully, it was just some strange mask was touching her. Why is Twenty wearing it?! Anyway the baddies retreat while the girls think that for that moment, their Toys returned. What does this mean? It means they go back and try that ridiculous Twister game again. Give it up already! Too dumb to even realize that it’s fake! Besides, shouldn’t they be helping G4 clean up the museum mess?

Episode 4
But God is fair because Kokoro gets a taste of her own medicine as she is being beaten up and made to do those embarrassing Twister moves. They finally found out the truth, huh? But no time for that as they are tasked to look for a girl, Irene Doala who went missing in Yokohama Forest that is close to the academy. Milky Holmes want to help out too but was tied up. Who knows the nuisance they will bring. Unfortunately I don’t know why the G4 tied them up with ropes that are edible. It took those hungry gluttons no time to chew everything up. They try to summon their Toys but all they summoned was just a giant black ferocious bear. It slammed Sherlock away. She finds herself following a group of lemmings leaping off the cliff to their doom. Is she going to follow? I don’t know what to say. She did. I don’t know how this happened too because she started flying somewhere when a speck of water got into her eye as she finds herself in a cave with someone familiar. G4 continues their search but Kokoro fell into a hole in the ground and ends up in the same cave with Sherlock and Irene. Now, Irene isn’t a damsel in distress. In fact, she is much more reliable and smarter than her rescuers. However after seeing cute Kokoro, she develops some kind of stupid imouto-chan fetish over her. Darkness falls so the other Milky Holmes return but follow a banana trail that leads them to being locked up by Henriette and co. They fell for the oldest trick in the book. But no matter, they seem to be enjoying their bananas. Sherlock and Kokoro learn that Irene’s dad’s company is going bankrupt soon so she wanted to save him by looking for some buried treasure based on some Warring States legend. She found it in this cave but it’s useless if she doesn’t get out and the deadline is tomorrow. The next day, they got out of the cave and start their trek home through the forest. How come it feels like Irene was the one saving and guiding them through? They take a break and fight over the last ration that Irene has: A banana. Then they come into that black bear again. Sherlock is going to protect the duo but gets owned instead. Irene temporarily throws a banana at it to buy them some time (and they thought she had no more bananas left). Then Sherlock suggests some resonating moves but they got owned again by the bear. All that’s left is to run away and I’m not sure why the heck a self destruct button is in the forest so they’re actually saved when the bear steps on it. I don’t know what it unlocked. Heck, I don’t even understand all this nonsense. Soon the other G4 girls come in their helicopter to rescue them. With the company saved, Irene bids farewell to G4, she knocks Kokoro unconscious and kidnaps her! I’m amazed that the rest didn’t notice about this. Have they gotten use to her absence? And for Sherlock, she is disheartened that her gang gave up searching for her and instead feast on the bananas till they’re bloated. Meanie!

Episode 5
While having their poor picnic of grilled mushrooms in the park, Hercule tries to rescue Kamaboko from being run over by a truck but they were saved by a pair of flashy girls, Mary and Kate (I hope they have got nothing to do with the Olsen twins). Was it necessary to even explode the truck? However it seems that the pair have ulterior motives as they plan to capture Kamaboko. Back in the attic, Milky Holmes are admiring the great detectives the pair may be while Kamaboko is in risk of being kidnapped by the said pair. While chasing it, they bump into Twenty who is annoyingly dating a pillow cover version of himself! F*cking gross! Then they accidentally meet Milky Holmes and have to play along as some sort of great detectives they admire. The lolis are too dumb to even sense that they’re here to kidnap Kamaboko but thankfully it’s their fluke that ‘foils’ Kate and Mary’s plans. They continue their chase over the kitten and successfully capture it when the lolis were engrossed in their mushroom grilling. Milky Holmes go in search for Kamaboko and Henriette approves of it since it will put to use their detective searching skills. They go around asking the people and stumble upon G3. Who? It’s G4 less Kokoro for now. Yeah, she’s really being kidnapped by a certain genius kid. Meanwhile Mary and Kate are going to have their revenge on Kamaboko and SPCA would’ve taken action for their animal abuse if not for the gentlemen thieves busting in. They are here to bring justice to them for trespassing through Arsene’s territory (the academy grounds) that night. Then they see the walls filled with pictures of Kamaboko. Actually, it is their ex-lover who resembles very much like Kamaboko. Yeah, they’ve already drawn graffiti on its face. So as they fight, it’s the case of revenge for being dumped. They were promised that there will be no feelings in which of the duo he’d choose but dumped them. Maybe it’s because they’re messed up? The funny part was how Twenty’s bolster took a hit and he was inconsolable that his beautiful best buddy sacrificed himself for him. Didn’t he throw the bolster instead? Kamaboko is reunited with Milky Holmes as they head towards where the battle is taking place. Twenty and Stone River got hypnotized into Mary and Kate’s ecstasy Toys while Rat escapes upon his comrade’s advice. Mary and Kate shift their attention to Kamaboko but Rat decides to throw a bomb at them. Kamaboko deflects it and sends the gentlemen thieves flying into the sky. Mary and Kate felt grateful that it saved them from a darkness of revenge from their hearts and brought them back to the light. Milky Holmes see them off in a ship.

Episode 6
Princess Claris of Marlo kingdom is upset that she has to get married to Prince Pero of Lipa kingdom. Anyway I don’t know how Kokoro returned to G4 but she’s complaining that they need to babysit her. Unfortunately too much blabbing means Claris could sneak out without any detection. It’s total freedom and a normal life she seeks. Meanwhile Milky Holmes yearn for a dehumidifier since their place is getting all damp in this rainy condition. They all have this great idea of gathering elsewhere instead of cooping up here. Sherlock bumps into Henriette (her face literally stuck between her cleavage!). Henriette reminds them about finding a way to retrieve their Toys but after seeing the determination in her eyes, she believes her. In the streets, they see on the screen Claris (she is here to be wedded with Pero in Yokohama) and thought it was Sherlock. Yeah, they look very alike. After dispelling it, they notice Sherlock is missing. Sherlock bumps into the real Claris in the alley. Claris wants Sherlock to be her substitute just for a day (she knows of Sherlock due to the badmouthing of a certain cop). Of course she wasn’t going to accept it but the word of ‘great detective’ seems to defeat all other rational. Yup, take the job. As a reward, Sherlock wants a dehumidifier. Uhn… They trade clothes and really look like a splitting image of the other. Milky Holmes find Sherlock (Claris) and drags her away while Claris’ grandma Marple is reprimanding them for their failed watch when Claris (Sherlock) suddenly returns. She is being reminded about the importance of their marriage since the fate of Marlo depends on it (if Lipa finances them, there’s nothing else to be said, eh?). And why the heck is Marple doing those weird squats while explaining this to her? Then Pero comes in. Hmm… Looks like the handsome macho gentlemen hunk. But wait, he wants her to say “meow” at the end of her sentences? Could he be?

Meanwhile the real Claris is really happy to be living a normal life with the rest so much so it brings tears to her eyes. Wow. Never experienced simple happiness before, eh? As for Sherlock, it turns out that Pero is some sort of a masochist pervert. Doesn’t Sherlock hate him? Heck, she’s having fun!!! Of course with both look-a-likes switching places, Sherlock can’t even sleep even if her bed is big and wide or her meals sumptuous. Claris is getting used to it no matter how much it sucks and loving it. She thinks that she can run away and dump all the responsibilities on Sherlock but the latter remains confident she will return. Henriette knows Claris’ disguise and talks to her, asking if this is alright. She mentions about her dream of living a normal life but now she has to marry a guy she doesn’t even love. Henriette replies she can’t obtain her dreams by running away unlike Sherlock who is trying her best to become a great detective. This opens Claris’ eyes so she decides to reveal her true identity to the other Milky Holmes girls. They don’t believe her! Till she tells the real value of pi! Oh sh*t! Is that all it takes? They’re going to storm the wedding hall but G4 stands in their way. As usual, they don’t believe she’s the real Claris till she blurts out pi’s value. Unbelievable! Yeah, probably it tells us Sherlock and co has always been dumb girls. The wedding is going to end as Sherlock starts panicking that Claris hasn’t returned yet. Plus, it’s kissing time. Oh, the horrible lips! Luckily the rest barge in in time and stop the ceremony. Claris reveals her true self and says she cannot marry Pero. Plus, she will not run away and will achieve peace within both kingdoms with her own hands. The crowd applause as Pero admits that he did all those masochist perverted stuff to get her to hate him. That’s because he has somebody else he loves: Marple. Argh! He proposes to Marple and the ugly lips locked. Eww… The ceremony continues with their holy union as Milky Holmes got the dehumidifier as their prized treasure. And why the heck is Sherlock playing S&M with herself?! Finding it nice? Oh dear. I hope she won’t be addicted to it. Hey, everyone come join in! Not!

Episode 7
Phantom Thief Empire are at Phantom Thief Killer Cape. It is believed a multimillionaire named Baskerville hid his lifetime collection of artworks here. Many have tried to infiltrate but none was ever successful. Looks like their plan will need some modification since Milky Holmes are here for vacation (they have to trek here since they have no money for a bus fare. Poor things) and also heard about that cape thingy which they believe will bring their Toys back (they heard it from a certain stripper teacher’s slip of tongue). Hey, G4 are here too. Henriette plays along with the girls while the guys hide and plan their move. Milky Holmes get hungry and try to get some seafood but they’re so useless and beyond help that even their crab got stolen by the seagull, got entangled by the seaweeds or get hit by Tsugiko’s bat instead of the watermelon (now she knows why there is a watermelon ‘growing’ on the beach, eh?). Since it started to rain, the ladies take refuge in a cave. As they trek deeper, there are suspicious signs pointing to the treasure. Of course, they activated a trap and cause them to be separated. Kokoro, Tsugiko, Hirano, Cordelia and Hercule falling to the bottom of the pit and the rest carrying on. Henriette’s group enter into an area that resembles a luxurious mansion. Nero triggers another trap (picking up a coin from the ground) and causes Henriette to be separated as she is switched into a secret room. The rest read on a library of books for clues of the treasure while Kokoro’s group strip themselves naked to make a rope long enough to climb themselves out. Why is Cordelia so enthusiastic about stripping? This leads them to a hotspring area but they are being attacked by a giant squid. Oh no. Tentacles. However Cordelia becomes some made monster because she sees it as a meal… Henriette finds herself in a room with a bikini mannequin while Saku also joins her when she activates a trap that sends her falling into that room. Sherlock and Nero are in a room with a safe. Nero tries using her Toys to open it but to no avail. However it opens probably it’s an old safe. They find a collection of idol figurines in it. Then cold water starts filling the room. Nero again tries to use her Toys to communicate with the safe. Though the water stopped, now hot water comes pouring in and they’re washed away to another room. Everyone is reunited in the hotspring area and having a good squid meal while enjoying their soaking moments. Henriette realizes how it has become ridiculous to even steal from this Phantom Thief Killer now. As for the gentlemen thieves, they’re adrift at sea with no food for 3 straight days.

Episode 8
Milky Holmes fall ill. Seems it was another black-hearted prank of Kokoro making them eat ice cream till they brain freeze, meditating under a waterfall and freeze themselves in the freezer. Yeah, it’s amazing they’re still this gullible. I know they’re desperate to get their Toys returned but to ask Kokoro for help? Of all people? She’s really enjoying and laughing her heart out. Bad girl. Even her G4 mates think so. Even Henriette takes pity on them and decides to nurse them back to health. The next day, Milky Holmes are good as healthy but this time Henriette collapses and has caught their illness. Now it’s their turn to take care of her. The gentlemen thieves want to have the honour of ‘cleaning her sweat off her naked body’ but the girls insist that the guys should stay out of this. They decide to change her clothes and the only one they could find in her closet is… Oh dear! It’s her sexy phantom thief suit! Oh no! Will her identity be blown? G4 are paying a visit at the academy (I guess Kokoro still wants to see the Milky Holmes suffer by bringing some iced peach cans) when they heard Milky Holmes yelling “Arsene”! They barge in and are surprised to see Arsene lying in the bed but being told by Milky Holmes she is Henriette. The gentlemen thieves are worried that this pinch is going to get worse and have to do something. But don’t worry. They don’t even have to lift a single finger. Why? How do the girls dismiss that Arsene is Henriette? Sherlock’s answer: She loves to cosplay! Oh sh*t! Everyone buys it! And for that moment, the guys thought she’d be a goner but remember, they’re retards. Big time. Anyway they change Henriette into her pyjamas as they try to nurse her by concocting medicine based on fairytales. Are they even attainable? I’m not sure the kind of medicine Sherlock mixed (it must be dangerous since it was mosaic out) and poured into Henriette’s mouth. She starts glowing and everyone becomes absorbed into some sort of twisted fairytale. Some Momotarou legend Sherlock is, trying to retrieve some peach at Arsene Island but meets the gentlemen thieves as obstacles. It gets more twisted when they fight Arsene using her boobs as missiles but their combined Toys allows them to defeat her. Henriette is fed by Sherlock a delicious peach. She wakes up and sees the other girls knocked out on the floor. She notes that Milky Holmes’ Toys returned to them briefly albeit it was only in the middle of her illusion Toys. Twenty’s crap words: “The world is beautiful. But I am even more beautiful”. Henriette thanks them for nursing her as Milky Holmes wonder what her Toys power is. Then they see Kokoro receiving her much deserved divine retribution as she is stuck in the giant ice and getting sick. Oh yeah. God is fair.

Episode 9
While Milky Holmes are happily pigging out with their poor meal, they are joined by another student, Sonia and even Nezu. Seems it is to celebrate the 1 year anniversary Sonia met her senpai Sherlock. Hercule finds an Ouija Board and their curiosity has them asking it if their Toys will return. Nezu pans them for fixing the outcome. To prove it, he tells them to ask which among them is the stupidest! They’re really fighting to pinpoint the answer! They then change the question to who is the meanest. Yeah, how come it quickly spells Nezu’s name? Later Nezu walks Sonia back to her dorm but shortly, he is being attacked. Next day, G4 is conducting some boring road safety class (everyone except Sherlock) and after the class, Kokoro finds a trail which leads her to see Nezu’s dead body in a room! As everyone is shocked over his death, Henriette shows them a picture which might implicate Milky Holmes as the perpetrator because Nezu’s wrote the initials of “M.H.” in blood before his death. They insist they are innocent but she wants them to prove it by tomorrow or she’ll hand them over to the police. Milky Holmes decide to request for their ancestor’s help via Ouija Board. It seems to work as the baldy (Hercules), the busty boobs (Cordelia) and fatty (Nero) possess their counterparts. Calling Henriette and Kokoro to the scene, they use their great detective deduction skills to solve the mystery of the initials. Erm… How come the theories sound so stupid?! No wonder their descendants share it! They deduct the culprit based on the animal they could draw on it? Monkey? Hamster? WTF?! Then a bronze statue of Sherlock Holmes comes crashing in as the spirit of the great detective possesses Sherlock. He’s late because he possessed the wrong statue. Oh no. Please not another idiot. Thankfully, Sherlock’s deduction is top class this time, deducting that the victim may not know the murderer’s name so he tried to convey what he remembered about the murderer, in this case via some numerals.

So “M.H.” by reading it in a different direction is “I-3”, which is the dorm block number. And the culprit is no other than Sonia who launches an attack on everyone. Sherlock Holmes’ spirit whisks Henriette away from harm and he whispers in her ear that he knows she’s the phantom thief Arsene. He starts chasing her but I don’t understand the necessity to use their telekinesis powers to uproot buildings and throw it to each other. Wow! I didn’t know Sherlock Holmes has such terror telekinesis! Besides, why does he need to avoid them if he’s just a spirit? In the end, he saves Sonia from falling off the roof. Nezu is seen alive and he doesn’t need to play dead anymore. The great ancestors take their leave and leave them a huge message on the ground, saying that they will get their Toys back after a great trial. Later Henriette sees Sonia and knows that she schemed all this so that Milky Holmes would earn back the respect they once lost. Plus, the message was written by her and not the victim and this means Milky Holmes will move to solve the case whether they want to or not since they’re being doubted. Due to the severity of the case, she has Sonia expelled but recommends her to start over again at Poirot Detective Academy because she feels she should not waste her Toys but become a great detective instead and not a phantom thief. Milky Holmes pray to Nezu’s altar and use the Ouija Board to talk to him but he barges in proclaiming he isn’t dead. They think he’ a ghost coming down to visit them! Something still bugs me. If Henriette didn’t realize it was Sonia’s plan till the end, does this mean Nezu secretly cooperated with Sonia for this?

Episode 10
Milky Holmes are excited over the prospect of their returned Toys. Henriette is expecting high hopes from them with the upcoming exam but they would like to go gather first. Hercule tries to persuade them to study but eventually gives in to their persistence to have fun. Yeah, they wasted a whole week gathering and having fun instead of studying. The gentlemen thieves are pondering the possibility of them getting their Toys back (on an unrelated note, notice a shirt being hang out to dry with the words “I Love Boku” – no prize to guess whose shirt this belongs to). The trio reminiscence the time they first met. Let’s say they aren’t the best of friends. Heck, they’re rivals. As they fight over each other while stealing jewellery, Arsene’s appearance and her display of her illusion Toys has them offering their services to her. Seeing that they are this weak to give in to their desires, she wants them to commit themselves to become phantom thieves with beauty and intelligence. Thus in their journey to ‘redeem’ back their pride, they swore loyalty to Arsene and to her cause. Of course, they start arguing themselves over their petty differences. And Milky Holmes are the one to say how lame it is after watching from afar their Toys going berserk. On the day of the exam, Milky Holmes undergo very weird tests that include a game show quiz, moving an elephant, staring into Twenty’s erected nipples and beautiful body (I can’t believe Cordelia drooled over it!) and some sort of bowling with them as the pins. In short, they failed them all. Henriette isn’t pleased. While Milky Holmes lament about their failures and the non-return of their Toys, they hear a report that Arsene challenges them to a trial that will decide whether they get expelled or not. Sherlock realizes that this is the trial that should have their Toys return and the ones they have taken are just tests (I guess there’s a difference in that). With high spirits, they head to the museum (got caught in G4’s trap again).

Inside, Milky Holmes face off with the gentlemen thieves but the trio are so focused in their petty feud, they couldn’t be bothered with Milky Holmes’ arrival. Why is Sherlock so insistent on announcing that they have arrived? She’s even concerned that they shouldn’t fight among themselves because it would be just like them. So when they do realize it’s those useless lolis, they do some tetrahedron formation. I don’t know the significance of this but how will Milky Holmes get out of this? They desperately try to summon their Toys but again to no avail. Then a blackout occurs. You can count Cordelia out. Then Sherlock decides to use a bomb they used during the test (where the heck did she hide that?). The guys escape while the bomb explodes, making a gaping hole in the building. I’m surprised Milky Holmes are still in one piece. This time, Kokoro’s upset is real. With the way they messed things out, she yells at them to get out of their crime scene. The guys return to Arsene while continuing to blame each other for their pettiness, it seems Arsene is in no mood for it. She is so mad that when she hits the wall, the entire top of the tower twist and bend worse than being bombarded by WWII bombers. Oh sh*t! Milky Holmes trudge back in the rain to their dorm but suddenly their room catches fire. Then they see Henriette. Looks like she has had enough. Her face is visibly upset. Very. She throws down their expulsion papers. Oh dear.

Episode 11
As Sherlock leaves, she bumps into a very displeased (enough to even scare me) Henriette. She apologizes for everything and thus Milky Holmes is disbanded as they leave the academy in shame, each going their own ways. The rest didn’t like her idea of bowing and saying goodbye and thanks to the academy. Meanwhile Henriette takes out her frustration by smashing all the awards, trophies and certificates of Milky Holmes in her room. She thinks everything turned out like this because she wasn’t serious enough. Sherlock continues to work in a ramen stall but she is so clumsy and useless (including pissing off her customers with her klutz), it makes you wonder why the owner didn’t fire her. Her buddies aren’t faring any better. Selling flowers? Selling magazines? Ouija Board prediction? Better avoid them. G4 pays a visit at Sherlock’s workplace and tells her about Phantom Thief Empire’s rampaging robberies. They’re on a hot streak. Sherlock goes to gather her other pals and then they see another news with Arsene announcing that she plans to make Yokohama a phantom thief haven by crushing the academy. Henriette is seen hanging precariously over the rapid river on a bridge. She invites those with a sense of justice to come rescue her. With every 2 hours, a string will be snapped and she will be closer to her doom. After the transmission, we see it’s actually Twenty impersonating as Arsene and the real deal is hanging over the bridge. I hate to admit it, but who is more qualified to play a beauty like her? Yeah, this is going to be a do-or-die bait. Milky Holmes aren’t confident of going to her rescue seeing that they are normal (and useless) girls now and hopes G4 will pull through. Speaking of which, they are first to arrive but are easily taken out and captured by the gentlemen thieves. Milky Holmes resume their jobs but Sherlock tries to convince everyone to go save Henriette. She nails it in when she gets all teary and says that they’ve got their priorities wrong if they put becoming great detectives first and saving others second. Plus, it isn’t about getting revenge on the person who expelled them and their failures are because they gave up halfway, gave up on themselves. This opens their eyes as they reconcile and don their detective suits to go to Henriette’s rescue. Can they make it in time?

Irene’s limo was passing by so she gives them a lift. Then they get a delivery from Sonia. It seems to be a ring infused with a single dose of her Toys’ power. Sherlock should be able to use it since it is from her same bloodline. And yeah, why did Claris send royal plates over? The gentlemen thieves are bored since they’ve taken out just about everyone. Then when Milky Holmes come by, they aren’t alerted, thinking they’re still the useless lolis. However to their surprise, they hit their raw nerve when they call them coward for holding hostages (Stone River), ugly (Twenty – oh, that’s got to hurt) and… Rabbit (Rat)? Cordelia, Nero and Hercule hold off the trio while Sherlock rushes to save Henriette. How can a bunch of lolis hold down full grown men? It’s called determination. When Sherlock reaches out her hand for Henriette, it’s part of her plan to detonate the last rope. Sherlock dives down to save her. Sonia’s ring temporarily gives Sherlock her Toys power but it is too overwhelming as the ring breaks. Falling again? She grabs on tightly to Henriette and probably deep down in her heart she wanted to save her so much that she got her Toys back! Then the other Milky Holmes also feel that they are getting their Toys back and put them to good use. For once, the gentlemen thieves get serious but they are no match and get a serious trashing! As Sherlock pulls Henriette up, the latter pushes her away and unleashes a smoke screen. She transforms into Arsene and relishes the chance she has been waiting for all this time: To fight and defeat the real and powered up Sherlock.

Episode 12
The other gentlemen thieves are pounded to a pulp as the other Milky Holmes join Sherlock in a Toys power battle with Arsene. Seems she too has powered up as the entire Yokohama citizens watch the decisive battle in baited breath. Milky Holmes combine their Toys to attack Arsene but each try makes her crave for more. She’s really enjoying the moment of fighting those detectives at their top form. The fight continues to a different dimension as Arsene unleashes clones of herself. In the climax of the face-off between Arsene’s giant fireball and Sherlock’s pink little energy projection, suddenly Sherlock got too close to Arsene and has her face stuck in her boobs. She is reminded of the bounciness and softness and is happy that Henriette is alright. However surprised Arsene denies it. Sherlock’s pals didn’t believe at first but taking up her advice to touch her boobs, they instantly believe it’s Henriette! I guess that’s her trademark. No matter how much Arsene denies, the retards firmly believe she is their student council president. Even if her mask falls off. Arsene summons a meteor to send the entire place crashing down to the academy grounds. Milky Holmes look very funny with their heads sticking out from the ground like grown vegetables. Arsene is in for another surprise when Milky Holmes identify her as the phantom thief instead. Amidst the blabbing confusing, Arsene deduces that the impact and shock must have made them lose their memories. Arsene decides to withdraw for now and give Henriette back to them but will not lose the next time. The schoolmates rush to Milky Holmes’ side and help out their revived heroes. Arsene and her men are looking forward to more battles with them.

Next day, Milk Holmes are given a certificate of appreciation, much to Kokoro’s reluctance. Everyone is cheering on for them. How does it feel to be back in the spotlight? Kokoro isn’t happy that they let Arsene get away but Henriette mentions that there will be another chance for that. In the packed hall, Sherlock is going to treat everyone with a demonstration of their returned Toys. A rock is sent crashing onto her. It crashes onto her! Wait a minute… What the?! Don’t tell me?! Oh no! Seems like not only the impact made them lose their memories, but their Toys as well! See how everybody’s face turn into despair and disappointment. Except for Kokoro and the gentlemen thieves who are happy they’ve returned to their retarded ways. Even Henriette is lost for words and quickly ends the ceremony. So, back to the dull life for Milky Holmes as they trek back to their room expecting to be expelled. However they get a present surprise it is back to normal and cleaned up. All thanks to Henriette. As mentioned, though they have lost their Toys, you can deny the fact that they saved Yokohama. That means, their expulsion will be… postponed till spring. Dang. And they thought it’ll be cancelled for good. But the quartet are happy that they’re together and since they have each other, nothing is impossible. Oh well Henriette. Looks like it’s going to be another tiring season if this keeps this up. Lastly a new transfer student barges in and is excited of meeting them. She is Mori Arty and knows them all. The quartet finds her cute and takes a liking for her. For those who don’t know, the character named Professor Moriarty is Sherlock Holmes’ greatest arch enemy in the stories. Ironic, eh?

Bungling detectives…
I have to admit that everything has been a fun ride from the start till the finish. There were laugh out moments and this is definitely one of the good comedy series that I’ve seen in recent times. You could say that this show is on par with Shinryaku! Ika Musume and Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt that I too enjoyed. It’s hard for me to totally recommend this series for the family to watch. I know, cute little girls running around may seem harmless but the only reason why I’m stopping my suggestion at that is perhaps of Arsene/Henriette’s over-sized and bouncy boobs. Man, do they even exist? How does she keep it all tightly wrap under that school dress? In a little way, you can call that fanservice. Oh, another factor why this isn’t for kids: Twenty. That guy says it all. Don’t want your kids to have a bad influence from this stripper, eh? The flow of the story is at a good pace as we mainly see how Milky Holmes try to regain their lost Toys by going through lots of tough trial and tribulations. Usually with hilarious and disastrous results. Each time you can’t help feel that glimmer of hope that their Toys will return for the moment but in the end, it all turns back to square one. Even if their Toys temporarily return, was it really fluke? When someone they love is in great danger, could it only be then that their Toys will return? The mystery and reason of their Toys’ disappearance is never explained nor given priority that it will be revealed somehow and though this feels like it needs some investigation but I don’t think that case will be solved any time given the way Milky Holmes are right not.

Milky Holmes as fallen detectives are a bunch of fun loving lolis. It’s hard to hate them since their fall from grace not only because they’re cute but the fact that they never gave up. Other than that, it’s hard to wonder if they’re the genius detectives they once were. I mean, their ‘stupidity’ and retardness is well, genuine from then. From being selfish spoilt brats to happy go lucky simpletons (all they worried at first is food and are easily swayed by it) to annoying useless dumb asses that obstruct others, even if you throw the clues and answers right in front of their faces, they’ll never be able to guess it. So much so I concluded that the only reason why they don’t really lose out is because they’re the heroines. Nothing else. Sheesh. Even the baddies are much more competent than them a hundred times even if one them really has a personality problem. Makes you wonder that they just inherited the name from their great ancestors. At the rate they’re going, they are going to sully and tarnish it. They’d even turn over in their graves. How can a famous detective academy even house such disgraceful retards? How could this even be possible? But you have to give it them and especially Sherlock for their sunny disposition as she is the one that glues the rest together. Hercule is too shy, Nero is too brute and tomboyish while Cordelia is, well, too delusional when she becomes afraid. Say, if Cordelia’s Toys is to see and hear things that others could not, how come she couldn’t sense that Henriette is Arsene then? Oh yeah, retard…

Aside from those ‘idiots’, Kokoro should have fittingly been part of the group if not for her utmost detest for the detectives. She thinks she is hell of a smart each time proudly stating her IQ level, which by the way increases 10 times fold from the 130 level to 130 billion by the time the series ended. Did she magnify that on purpose? Or does she have memory problems in keeping track of her own IQ? Not very smart, eh? Besides, I have no qualms if she even reaches 130 trillion. Yeah, I admit you’re smart. In monkey land whereby the average IQ is 130 quadrillion (that’s 15 zeros, baby!). And she’s a graduate from Harvard? Yeah, my dog also graduated from there with First Class Honours in Business Administration. It’s sad she ended up as the leader of G4 and even her partners are more ‘human’ than her. Even if Saku’s face is always monotonous like her voice, at least she’s more considerate than Kokoro. The only thing that scares Kokoro downright is the mentioning of Irene’s name. Oh yeah. She’s developed some sort of trauma in the end. After all, she personally knows how it feels to be kidnapped and treated like a doll. Hey, how the heck did she escaped from Irene’s grasp in the final episode? Besides it’s not like with Kokoro around, G4 gets the job done anyway. Detectives or police, what’s the difference if they’re retards? No wonder phantom thieves like Arsene can’t be caught.

Arsene/Henriette is full of mysteries and you can’t understand what is going on in her mind. It’s understandable that she wants to beat Milky Holmes at their top form but to go as far as to nurture them and even help them under the disguise as school staffs along with her men, how many baddies in other series do you know are this considerate? Put it this way. If you have put in lots of effort in growing and planting a fruit, when it ripens, it is going to taste a lot more delicious when you pluck it, right? Arsene has a short taste of that and looks like the fruit needs more tending if she’s going to enjoy the ultimate reap. One of the most disgusting and annoying character is Twenty. You have to agree with me on this. Each time, he never fails to deluge himself the super beauty he is (only second to Arsene, that is). He gets his thrills by not only stripping but molesting his own nipples!!! Yikes! Each time he is stimulated, you can grossly see how erected his nipples become! The more aroused he is, the longer his nipples! Oh sh*t!!! During such scenes, it makes me want to laugh and also flinch at the same time. So uncouth, so sickening but yet so funny. Well, it serves as a good lesson that I will NEVER do such a thing. Ever. On another thought, I think the gentlemen thieves will also be retards if they aren’t under the guidance of Arsene. So looks like Arsene is the only and real genius out of all the characters in here. Yeah, the world is filled with so many stupid people. So I guess even if Clark Kent admits himself as Superman here, you could say his secretly is definitely safe. Heck, Milky Holmes couldn’t identify Nijuuri as Twenty when he starts stripping and thought the latter just reminded them of the former. What more can I say? As for the other minor characters, they are quirky enough to have a slightly lasting impression even if they are just cameos for that particular episode. Like Claris’ desire to be free and experience the normal life, Pero’s love for Marple, Irene’s little sister fetish and the amusing poses of Kate and Mary. In a way, these people played a role in helping Milky Holmes to regain their lost Toys.

The opening theme is Sekai Wa Hitotsu! Janaii!! by the seiyuus of Milky Holmes and sounds like your typical genki and cheerful upbeat theme for the detective quartet. However the ending theme is much opposite and it’s like dedicated to the phantom thief of Arsene and her men. Entitled Honnou No Doubt by Faylan, this dark rock piece definitely suits her nature. Each of the episode title is named and based after a famous detective novel. If you look closely, when title is first displayed on the screen, it is the real original title and after the magnifying glass goes across them, the title changes to the modified version that will be the adventure of Milky Holmes in that episode. On a trivial note, the sponsor screen has the characters drawn in chibi form so they really look cute and funny. Of course the end card with different illustrations are also a little eye candy just like the mid-intermission with the characters in poses or places (okay, some of them felt like for fanservice). As for the next episode preview, we have the characters ranting about but it often ends with that character revealing herself/himself as the culprit even if she/he isn’t. Who? What? When? Why? Everybody is a retard, guilty as charged!

I might not get any interest of reading or watching detective novels and movies, but if there is going to be another season of Milky Holmes, you bet that I’ll be around to catch them in their silly antics. I know it’s bad of me to say this but I hope they keep failing their test to find back their Toys so that I could enjoy some laughs when they screw up. Bad me. I do sound like Kokoro enjoying seeing those lolis suffer and not even knowing it or what hit them till it’s too late. Forgive me if I called them retards too many times but it’s true. At least I know who NOT to call when a crime needs solving. Never let lolis do a man’s job. No wonder crime is flourishing. And I’m the guilty culprit for encouraging that. Doesn’t that make us partners in crime?

Super Gals

May 28, 2011

Is there a difference between a girl and a gal? Apparently there is if you watch Super Gals. From what I can tell, being a gal means wearing trendy clothes with the latest and trendiest accessories and hanging out with your pals in busy-cum-crowded commercial districts. Sounds like a trend and a step to become a public nuisance or delinquent, eh? Unless you’re Ran Kotobuki, that’s a totally entirely different story. This 52 episode anime series may seem like a show about bratty girls going about and living their gal lives. However there is much more than to just these trouble teenage girls as viewers can learn some slice of life lessons, laugh out at some ridiculous comedic moments and endure the love pangs of the characters as each day passing by promises to be different and exciting. I’m not really going into my usual episode by episode blog (read: lazy) so those wanting to have a brief summary of the episode can go to or Enoki Films for it. There is the good ol’ Wikipedia too for some other information such as brief descriptions of the characters but just like many old anime shows, don’t expect much or to be brimming with lots of info. So my blog will be just listing down the memorable stuff from the series.

Ran Kotobuki – The main protagonist and the girl who ‘owns’ Shibuya. No, her father isn’t the mayor of this Tokyo ward but rather she is the number one gal in Shibuya. Literally everyone who walks in that town knows who she is. Like your typical gal who loves to party and have fun, Ran loves spending her time hanging out in the streets of Shibuya and goofing off rather than doing those boring stuff like studying. Something that athletic and iron-willed gal is weak at. Yeah, I guess nobody is perfect. However she isn’t all just fun and games as she also protects the street she loves by kicking ass of small time criminals like lady harassers or snatch thieves with her trademark platform boots boomerang kick. You really got to love how it really does fly back right back into her feet! Yeah, why do we need the police in Shibuya if we have Ran keeping it safe? But don’t be fooled that if you think Ran is totally a good hearted person all the time. Unless she wants to help you, don’t even bother coming to beg her for help because she isn’t going to do something that is troublesome (from her point of view). But there’s always a way around it. She’ll make a total u-turn and go all out to fulfil that request if you bribe her with fashion accessories like nail polish or best of all, free food. Beware though, she has a food grudge too and if you’re responsible for ruining her meal, you’d be regretting that you’re ever being born. Ever. This girl really does have a big appetite and ‘runs out of fuel’ when she’s hungry. She has winner’s complex and would get herself into any kind of competition no matter how silly the title is because she just loves to win. Yeah, a simpleton.

Police story – Ironically, Ran is the daughter of a family that holds its pride in its generation of being police officers. Local detective chief Dad Taizo whose wife, Kiyoka who is also a police officer, is always trying to persuade Ran to become an officer like her other siblings, Yamato and Sayo but Ran always boldly tells him straight that she isn’t interested in becoming an officer and will never be one! Oh, a father’s heartbreak. Not even Taizo’s Giant Swing (used as punishment) won’t change that gal’s mind.

Megumi Toyoguchi – The voice behind Ran. Due to Ran’s character and the first time I heard her being her typical loudmouth, it reminded me so much of Burn Up Scramble’s Rio Kinezono! See the similarities of both anime characters that she voiced? Ironically, Rio is a policewoman having love problems (as opposed to the Rio in the original Burn Up series in which she has money problems) and Ran here comes from a generation of police officers. It feels like they’re both the same character but in a different anime.

Case of a serial liar – As we all know by now how Ran isn’t good at school work and never finishes her homework on time. So much so when it is time to hand it up, she’ll cook up exaggerate long unbelievable stories like how she was abducted by aliens and her journey throughout the world that made her unable to complete it. I’m sure her homeroom teacher, Nakanishi has heard it plenty of times and each time having to whack her with a harisen (paper fan). Yeah, that harisen is even exclusively for Ran! And at the end of that tall tale, Ran will just spit out the real truth. Well, not much difference too because Nakanishi will still be pissed off and trying to reprimand Ran. Can she actually make it to the next grade?! She might be dumb in that sense, but she’s not that stupid. If she was, she probably wouldn’t know how to make up all those creative lies as it involves geographic locations and some common sense.

Miyu Yamazaki – Ran’s classmate and best friend. Another independent and strong girl as she comes from a broken family. She is in lovey-dovey relationship with Ran’s older brother, Yamato. Though she may look cute and nice upfront but she hides a dark past of being a leader of a gang called Resistance. A troubled kid then who always got into fights. When she and Ran first met, it’s not like they really like each other as Ran was of course bribed to change Miyu.  She changed over a new leaf and cast away her past when Yamato deeply cares for her after getting into a final recent fight with another gang, Eagles.

Aya Hoshino – Ran and Miyu’s latest close friend after Ran ‘saved’ this model student from compensation dating. Unlike Ran, Aya is a total opposite as she isn’t confident or honest of showing her true feelings. She is shy but studious so it doesn’t take a genius who Ran comes after for help when her homework deadline nears. You know, Ran is so unashamed of her unfinished work that she even has the cheek to ask other people to complete it for her!

Sayo Kotobuki and Masato Iwai – The pair of junior detectives obsessed with a famous cop movie called Run! Odaiba Cop and its lead character, Detective Kudou. They know every episode and have every darn merchandise and video on it. Both Sayo and Masato are so called dating (they have no qualms letting others know that they are a couple) and often role plays as detectives to keep Shibuya safe. But sometimes you wonder if a bunch of kids can really do the job as it seems that they’re just playing around (like those dramatic scenes in public that Sayo is going to ‘die’) so it’s hard to take them seriously. But they do take their investigation seriously and with pride. Yeah, they even have their own detective theme song! Either way, you can’t hate them and in fact love them all because that the one and only Rie Kugimiya is the voice behind Sayo. Datchu!

Yamato Kotobuki – Miyu’s responsible and mature cop boyfriend and Ran’s older brother who is being stationed at Shibuya. Oddly the girls usually use his police box as another one of their hangout places.

Odaiba Shark – The cool lead of the Odaiba Cop series, never seen without his shades off. He might be famous but that popularity comes into question when Ran comes into the picture. You could say that during one of those hotspring trips where he was on site for a film shot, since Ran was there, her legion of fans swamped over her and his presence was even hardly noticed! Otherwise he brings hope and happiness in the eyes of Sayo with some words of wisdoms and lines from the show. Odaiba Shark never sleeps!

Rei Otohata and Yuya Asou – Both are the top ranking boys of Meisho Daichi High School. The kind of good looking boys that every other girl would love to swoon over. Both guys are good friends though their personality may contrast. Perhaps Rei’s coolness can be attributed to his cold and indifferent attitude. Is it a surprise why he doesn’t have any girlfriend because he rejects them? He is best described as a person who is a pro at evading answering the obvious questions. You’re not going to get a simple yes or no, but an answer something like it is up to you to decide. Yuya is friendlier and because of his second placing behind Rei in the rankings, Ran and her pals always call him ‘Second Place’. Is that an insult or what? Ah well, get use to it.

The Ganguro Girls trio – Those annoying tanned girls of Shibuya are always locking horns with Ran. But you know who always ends up on the losing side. I can never tell them apart except for their different coloured hairstyles of red, yellow and blue. They are loyal followers of Rei and would go to great lengths to ‘protect’ other girls from coming close to him. Not that he cares or minds what they do anyway.

Gal lingo – Throughout the series, there will be short notices to inform viewers the slang that gals spout. Though I find that many are just abbreviated forms of the words. I guess it should be common knowledge if you want to be a gal. Trivial advice: “If you fall 7 times, get up 8 times”. Heck, don’t fall in the first place then.

Tatsuki Kuroi – The ‘monkey boy’ from the neighbouring prefecture of Machida is also known as Machida Black for his para-para dance moves. Uses English in some of his lines and everyone calls him Tatsukichi.

Mami Honda – The daughter of the wealthiest and famous family in Japan. Not to be fooled by her debutante looks, proud and prideful Mami is also a gal and is the queen of Ikebukuro. She meets her rival in the form of Ran but in each challenge (whether it’s a ping pong match or snowboarding duel), she always loses out. If not, the match ends in a draw. How can you beat that girl and even on her own home turf? Mami’s dad has always told her daughter to be the best in everything so each flashback sees her undergoing ridiculous uncanny training for whatever ridiculous subject to be the best. She may be the best in everything (from tennis to racing and even play performances) but when it comes to just Ran, she can never come out tops. And is it fate to be cruel to her for Ran to always show up or bump into Mami at times when she doesn’t want to see that idiotic hyper active gal? Mami has a follower, Harue Kudou who was an ex-member of the gang Eagles. She holds a grudge against Miyu as the reason for making her ex-boyfriend breaking up with her but it’s actually that guy who is being a jerk.

Mami’s ridiculously long limousine – Seriously, how can that car even turn?! To house her clothing wardrobe? Why the heck does she need lots of sophisticated doors and locks too? Who wants to steal them?!

Mami’s ridiculously large mansion – Believe me, it covers a skiing resort and even a space shuttle launching pad. WTF?!

Para-para dance – I don’t know if this move was the craze many years back. Remember para-para sakura? Some of the scene changers see the characters in chibi form doing their own para-para dance (except for Yuya’s, which seems lot like a panic move) with an equally catchy para-para techno music. I also tried to imitate the para-para moves in the opening credits but found myself to be laughing at the end because it felt funny (not to mention how much I sucked). Hey, even Hachiko is doing it!

Hachiko – Remember that famous loyal dog? Shibuya has erected a statue to commemorate Hachiko but the odd part is how we see Ran and Tatsuki ‘using’ it by sitting on it to have a better view to search something or even seek solace by talking to it about their problems! Even if it’s an inanimate object, can’t help that even Hachiko would get upset about it, eh? On another note, an owl statue is erected for Ikebukuro because ‘fukuro’ means owl in Japanese (but I guess it’s just wordplay because it could also mean envelope). So when it comes down to the battle of Shibuya’s Ran and Ikebukuro’s Mami, it’s always dog against owl.

Ran’s first disciple – A girl named Maki from Hokkaido goes all the way to Shibuya to be Ran’s disciple since she idolizes her very much. Seems that got to her head as she uses her newfound fame to have guys treat her. Till they realize her ploy and are going to get back at her, Ran steps in to prove that Maki is just more than her disciple, but her friend. Maki goes home and hopes to work hard to become a full fledge gal like her.

Love matters – As we all know Sayo-Masato and Miyu-Yamato are inseparable couples. Yuya has a crush on Ran ever since they first met but due to her rambunctious nature and his own nervousness, he doesn’t pretty much get the chance. Till Tatsuki comes in and proclaims out loud that he wants to become her boyfriend (because they both do the para-para). To Yuya’s dismay, Ran actually finds Tatsuki amusing and agrees! They really seem to suit each other seeing that they both act like idiotic simpletons. Bakappuru (combination of baka couple)! Yuya tries several attempts to make himself look cooler and that ‘show boy’ Tatsuki an idiot but it always seems to backfire. Worse, Tatsuki calls him ‘brother’ and thinks Yuya is testing them to see the strength of their love. Later in the series, Yuya becomes Mami’s boyfriend due to some misunderstanding. He has to put up with it all as the rest think they’re going steady as a couple. He is going to take some time off Shibuya for a while. Mami has her fair share of failed relationship with boys who are just in for her family status but she really fell for Yuya because he sees Mami as Mami herself. On the other hand, Aya too has a crush on Rei but we all know the shy person she is and the cold jerk he is. Aya was once set up to confess to Rei but that guy bluntly rejected her. Poor Aya. Yeah, we know he’s trying to give her a heads up that he can’t make her happy so better get disappointed now than regret it later. But she kept persevering until Rei becomes her boyfriend. Well, actually it isn’t official that Rei accepted her. He’d just let her do what she wishes and did mention he prefer to see her smile. I know this may sound a little odd but you know, when you’re totally in love with a person, even if Rei warned he will end up hurting her if she continues to love him, Aya accepted that.

Grand Prix Race – There was this one episode whereby Yuya challenged Tatsuki to a race over Ran. Soon every other guy pops up and wants to join in to claim Ran as their boyfriend. Ran finds it interesting and approves it as the guys go through lots of challenge and in the end, only 4 of them remain. Yuya and Tatsuki are among them and the other 2 are actually underlings of Mami. Her idea of having them enter the race is so that when they win, they will proclaim their love to Ran and dump her for Mami. Seems great until halfway through the final climbing obstacle, the guys betrayed her and wanted to truly claim Ran for their own because they don’t want to have anything to do with that bossy psycho b*tch anymore! Though they falter, Yuya and Tatsuki were just inches away from the goal but failed to cross it due to Yuya’s realization of fear of heights. Nobody wins and they had to disperse before the police take them in.

Towa Himeji – The owner of a cafe called Palm Tree that was in danger of being shut down but Ran and her pals helped out and managed to keep the cafe open. Seems Towa is the only person that Ran can’t stand up too because Towa threatens to spill embarrassing details of Ran if she doesn’t do as she is told (Ran and Towa know each other since childhood days). Towa is also close friends with that Odaiba Shark guy. Later Miyu works part time at Palm Tree to supplement her income.

Kasumi Tsukino – When rumours that Ran is turning into a nasty gal, it actually turns out to be a bratty kid that is sullying Ran’s name and even went to great lengths pulling nasty pranks on her friends like destroying Miyu’s precious handphone and ripping Aya’s train pass. Seems Kasumi wants to be the number one gal in Shibuya and like they say, this place isn’t big enough for the both of them. But you know, all her silly attempts to embarrass Ran and make her leave Shibuya flops big time. She is so annoying (even much more than Mami) and uses so many dirty tactics in her lame attempts, I was hoping she would be killed off somehow. However towards the end of the series, seems she isn’t all that b*tch when she competes in a flea market sale with Ran to buy a coat that she believes is the gal idol she adores. Though Kasumi lost out (she had to refund a kid who bought her defective toy) and was to admit defeat, she receives the coat from Towa and from the way things show, Towa may be just that gal whom Kasumi admired.

Naoki Kuroi – This skateboard kid is Tatsuki’s little brother and easily falls in love with almost any girl he sees. It all started after seeing a sticker from Tatsuki bearing Ran’s face and tries to take Ran as his girlfriend. Ultimately he loses out in some ramen battle with Tatsuki and probably he did all this was just to remind his brother about taking over their dad’s ramen business. Just like Ran, Tatsuki would prefer to do as he wishes to. Naoki becomes part of the junior detectives, joining Sayo and Masato’s detective role plays. Naoki’s falling-in-love trend continues with other girls like Miyu, Towa and Sayo. All ending up in heartbreak of course. In the final episode, he seems to have fallen for Kasumi.

Those guys – Why is it that the guys in Shibuya do not have any second thoughts about being rough with a lady or gal? Maybe Shibuya is a tough place so they’re exercising gender equality? Not. What about those guys who just easily come up to a girl and try to hit on them even though they really don’t want their company? Thank goodness we have Ran around.

Love hurts – What is love without its fair share of pangs and problems. There are quite a few of them. There was an episode whereby Ran believed some handphone fortune telling because it was quite accurate. Part of its advice to avoid disaster befalling on her was to avoid certain circumstances and it seems to point towards Tatsuki. Poor Tatsuki thought Ran was avoiding him and to make things worse, he saw her hanging out with Yuya. Once he manages to discover the root of the mystery, they’re back to being the bakappuru they happily are. Don’t believe everything you read, girl. Towards the end of the series, Tatsuki feels that his love with Ran hasn’t advanced to the next stage (not even kissed? Not even holding hands?) and questions if Ran really does love him. Of course Ran has her own gal pride so it’s obvious Tatsuki tells her straight that there is a girl who cares for him back in Machida so he’s not going to be in Shibuya for a while. Though this caused Ran to be a little alarmed, nevertheless she plays it down. Turns out that girl Tatsuki was referring to was his teacher who was supposed to guide him to pass his exams. Phew. After being around Mami for too long and seeing how Tatsuki and Ran are perfect for each other, Yuya is ready to confess that he is ready to leave Ran in Tatsuki’s hands and happy to settle with Mami. Before he could speak any further, Mami misinterprets this as his attempt to confess his love for Ran. Mami challenges Ran to another ultimate life-and-death battle over Yuya. Both girls give it their best shot but there seems to be no end. Till Yuya finally intervened and accepted Mami. To her, he’ll always be number one in her heart. Aw… We all know how cruel Rei can be as he seems to be ‘neglecting’ Aya. So much so Aya has that Otohata Syndrome. She feels distant from Rei as each passing day. A senior classmate, Kazuki Katase notices Aya’s suffering, comforts and helps her out. In no time, Aya and Katase start dating and Rei doesn’t seem fazed because well, it was her decision. There are even times Katase confronts Rei about him mistreating Aya but the latter doesn’t even bat an eyelid. Aya and Katase seem to fit each other since they’re both studious. Aya spends more time with him studying and less time with her gal pals. However it seemed forced. Each time she talks about her pals, Katase would shrug it off and that they’re from different worlds. The last straw came when he mocks her pals. It is later revealed that Katase did a despicable act by trying to steal exam questions due to pressure from his family’s expectations. He thought Aya and him were the same but thinks their difference is that Aya is more true to herself. Katase soon leaves to study overseas and I guess this case opens the door to Aya’s heart that Rei is still the only one for her. Though it may seem that Aya and Rei are back but trouble starts brewing again when Aya asks Rei personally if he likes Ran. It’s like opening Pandora Box even if Rei warned her it would not be at her advantage to do so. Since she is persistent, Rei answers yes, confirming Aya’s fears. Hey girl, didn’t you remember making that promise that you’ll be okay even if you get hurt by him? See, play with fire lah. Aya falls into depression but to make things worse, rumours are spreading that Rei and Ran are dating since they were spotted together at a cafe (she was just asking him to do her homework, what else?). To add salt to wounds, many believed that Ran stole Rei from Aya. And what does that indifferent jerk do about it? Nothing really. Ran was of course oblivious even if Aya was acting real strange. Their relationship is strained as Aya avoids Ran, even taking the honours class instead of continuing in the same class with her pals. But all is back to normal when Ran manages to give her usual reprimanding advice once more. This time Aya isn’t going to run away but try her best. Sure, it’s not like Rei did acknowledge her to be his girlfriend (“Do as you wish” line again) but in the final episode, I think they become a couple because I believe we haven’t see Rei’s face as close to Aya’s before.

It’s not the Ran I know! – There are a couple of episodes whereby Ran ditched her gal outlook and shockingly became a different person! In one episode, due to some wish on an arcade machine, Ran turns into a debutante! Such good and polite manners! Unbelievable! But I guess the gang rather have the old Ran back as they frantically search for the machine before it is being scrapped. Magically, Ran is turned back to normal. In another episode, Ran turns into a proper detective protecting the peace of Shibuya after sleeping on some weird pillow! Oh, Taizo must be so proud of this moment. Yeah, she even threw away all her gal stuff. Too bad it isn’t going to last since after sleeping on that pillow, she’s back to her gal self. Finally an episode whereby due to some ball Sayo got at some lottery, the ball violently bounced back and forth on Sayo and Ran’s face, causing them to switch bodies! Nobody is going to believe them so they have to act as each other for the time being. They both find out how each other have their own responsibilities and weren’t just goofing around. But they switch back at the end (that same ball bouncing effect) but this time Yuya and Rei switch bodies. Mami mistakes Rei for Yuya and drags him away! Man, that’s the first time I see that guy in a pinch but too bad it ends here and I would have loved to see how things played out.

Maru-Q Moon – Sailormoon parody. In one of Kasumi’s attempts to make Ran leave Shibuya by badmouthing her to the Ganguro trio, she gets into all sorts of trouble and ultimately dresses up as a magical girl but inadvertently saves others from danger. Soon she becomes a hot topic and everyone wants to find out her true identity. Well, even if she did, nobody would believe that kid. Hey, anybody could buy that outfit and don it.  In the end, due to some confusion, Ran ends up being revealed as Maru-Q Moon.

I am Zero. I have returned! – There was an episode whereby Ran was framed as the perpetrator disguised as her and does bad things. The local police believe it is Ran but her loyal fans do not. To prove that anybody could just dress as Shibuya’s number one, the fans all dress up as Ran simultaneously (how and where they get the wig and dress still beats me). At that point, it reminded me of how much this scene looked like Code Geass! Of course Ran is innocent and the culprit turns out to be the boyfriend of one of the fans, fearing that he would ‘lose’ her if she becomes too much of a gal.

Alone again, naturally – Miyu has never had a good relationship with her mom. They don’t even really have a proper talk. Not that Miyu doesn’t want to but rather her mom prefers to be out of the time doing other things and leave her daughter all to herself. Not that Miyu is complaining either. Now, Miyu’s mom is the kind of character everyone would love to hate. She is very irresponsible and her being a mother of Miyu is definitely unfit and unsuitable. When she defaults on her apartment’s rental for 3 months, she decides to pack up and leave, not caring for what happens to Miyu. This place may not be much to Miyu, but at least she has a place to go home. Now with it gone, where will she go? Heartless mom even told Miyu to survive on her own, perhaps going into the flesh industry. That’s it. Out of the door, she has left the building. Whether or not they’ll meet is another story. Miyu’s cry at that time was the most heartbreaking one ever. Thankfully she has kind Yamato she could lean on as he listens to her problem. Miyu temporarily stays in Ran’s room before moving to Palm Tree and then with enough strength to stand on her own, her own little apartment.

Fillers? – There are some episodes that focus on other minor characters. For example, Ran befriends a kendo girl named Shiori. She heard she is suddenly transferring overseas and goes to work hard to buy her a farewell gift and misses her kendo tournament. Turns out she wasn’t leaving but her brother. The gym teacher, Mr Gunjo seems to have a gold leaf exterior. He has been making his students to avoid talking with one of his classmates, Takazawa, as he blames her for their class failure and loss to Nakanishi’s class during the recent sports festival. Ran’s actions and words soon made Gunjo’s classmates to stand forth and reveal the truth about his nature and results him to be suspended. Ran’s friend, Rie seems to have a crush on a guy, Junichi from 5 years ago when she meets him at a place they’re both working part time as. Rie thinks Junichi and Ran like each other since Junichi is avoiding her. Turns out during their younger days when Junichi saved Rie from bullies, it wasn’t Junichi who beat them up. It was Ran instead as he turned into a cry-baby. In the end, they both reconciled their love for each other.

Other adventures – Sayo being ‘kidnapped’ so Ran and Kiyoka drag Yamato to rescue her as it turns out she was just accompanying a single father trying to meet up with his estranged daughter, a visit to a giant indoor ski park, a visit to the beach, Tatsuki thought Ran was working to buy him a birthday present but it was to go on a shopping spree (I guess her luck at a raffle to win him a monkey doll at the last minute still made him happy), Ran burning up to win the sports festival for her class because Nakanishi may overlook her undone homework (yeah, even working up her classmates to go all out because she lied that Nakanishi is dying!), invited to Meisho’s school cultural festival (yeah, the para-para competition between Ran and Mami is getting real long and tiring… More lasting than Duracell), Yamato introducing Miyu to his family and this means he has proposed to her for marriage (headache for Ran because this means her best friend will be her sister-in-law. Confused?), Tatsuki and Yuya going all out to find Ran’s lost wallet to prove who is manlier and the right to be Ran’s girlfriend, an ex-boyfriend of Mami returning to see her after many years abroad so debutante Mami takes her to some grand hotel with everything inside (yes, everything) but her rotten luck has her trying to evade being seen by Ran and co (who somehow won tickets to entire this pricey place) and in the end Mami shows her true gal character to that guy when several punks besiege on them and leaves him (how many ex-boyfriends does she have anyway?), Mami getting a weird hair accessory gift from Yuya (because it’s the cheapest) and goes to great lengths to protect it from people who wants to steal it (turns out to be some guy’s fake moustache!), Ran accompanying Nakanishi to patrol the school (because that old geezer is afraid of ghosts), a visit to Mami’s mansion, an invitation to Maki’s hotspring in Hokkaido, trying to catch a monkey on the loose during Christmas (Tatsuki could really communicate with it), a flashback how Taizo trained Ran to be a police officer (yeah, she was really enthusiastic back then) but his plans backfired after a series of tests (aliens in animal costumes?) when he accidentally ruined her lunch (yeah, Ran even remembers that food grudge till today), Odaiba Shark’s character is to be killed off due to some backdoor argument with the director so our Kudou actor is in danger of being out of a job and is set up by Towa to go on a date with Sayo so as not to crush her dreams (of course his role gets reinstated again), Aya working hard to make Rei a handmade Valentine’s Day chocolate (I thought she knew that guy dislike sweet things?) but was stolen by the Ganguro trio (in the end they gave it back to her after realizing how much effort she put in. See, they’ve got hearts too), a big ramen battle between Tatsuki and Naoki against a popular ramen chain (the former won because the latter’s management uses dirty tactics and the rival chef didn’t acknowledge to that) and Ran trying her best to study not because she fears of not making to the next grade but her allowance cut.

Towa’s leaving? – You heard that right. I’m not sure why, but she left her Palm Tree cafe to that Kudou guy and due to some misinterpretation, he accepts it. We see many of the main and supporting characters in this episode trying to get Towa a farewell gift but Ran is nowhere to be seen and time is running out. Tatsuki and Rei search the streets and it turns out she was hungry and couldn’t move. Oh yes, Sayo and Masato are first year students in Ran’s school, not to mention bratty Kasumi. Finally the Ganguro trio have their own boyfriends, but they get scared after seeing their aggressive nature. Come back, my love!

Ultimate Gal
So yeah, it was fun while it lasted. Many of the episode’s adventures aren’t complicated but straightforward so much so that the tension and drama of that particular episode makes it simple for the issue to be solved. Because of so, some are pretty predictable. Of course the main star of the show still definitely falls on Ran. She is the kind of character whom you’ll have mixed feelings with. It’s hard to hate her but at the same time not totally love her. Her boisterous attitude sometimes really annoys you but because she’s a simpleton, it makes a lot of things easier. She may not be the kind of girl who comforts you with kind and soft words but instead with her typical firebrand reality down-to-earth phrases to make you realize that if you’re going to spend time sulking, might as well you go do something about it.

The other characters are lovable at their own pace too. They each have their own set of problems and fears to confront to but with each other’s support, they’ll get by.  The length of the series is reasonable enough to flesh out the personalities of some of the characters though they generally remain the same character that we are all familiar to. So the police force can think of cutting down their cost to station more personnel at Shibuya because Ran is doing such a fine job keeping the place safe. Maybe not. There’s always something she’s in when she’s doing something. Ah, just give her a free designer’s bag or shoes or free meal vouchers each time she’s at it.

This is trivial stuff but due to the recent trend in animes, for series that lasts more than a single season, there will be multiple ending themes. For this one, however there is only one! Yeah, quite a ‘rare feat’, if I should say. Entitled Dakishimetai by Jungle Smile, it is a moderate ballad. Of course the opening theme, Aitsu by Dicot is catchy itself to the para-para flow.

The art and drawing lean towards bishoujo style. Well, cute girls with big bright eyes, that says it all, doesn’t it? Sometimes in the show they have a lot of other drawing such as hearts in crayons across the screen. At times they also use different background shades when the producers are too lazy, oops I mean for a change in scenery to draw the actual backgrounds. I think it will be tough to draw every detail to the billboards and posters that are hanged around the Shibuya area.

I can say that this series is the first series that made me a little interested in doing a little online research on the different prefectural areas and wards in Japan. I may not remember them all, at least I know where Shibuya and Ikebukuro are. Along with Akihabara. Heheh. It was interesting for the time being that I discovered a few geographical locations in Japan. Maybe if Ran showed a little more interest in Japanese history, I may even have looked it up.

So being a gal isn’t just about the outside, it is the inside of your heart and how you live your life and what you do as a gal (with some ironclad gal rule of course). I was a loner back in school so I can’t pretty say much about my social life. Heck, I’m even close to being a hikikomori otaku, shutting myself in only watching animes. Maybe I should take a step out into the city once in a while and socialize. Then again, I just don’t want to expose myself to any danger of being mugged or extorted. I think I’ll let the police do their job in my area. Super otaku Ming! Keeping it safe while watching anime in your own room is uber cool. That is an ironclad rule for an otaku!

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