Ishida To Asakura

August 2, 2013

This is another one of those very short animes. So short that it leaves you no room to go “What the hell just happened?”. Yeah. That. The plot of Ishida To Asakura may be about the former’s intention to open a flower shop with the latter but as seen in this anime, it hardly goes anywhere near that except as stated in their intentions. Instead, you get random nonsensical bizarre exaggerated and outrageous gag comedy and nonsense packed into a dozen episodes in 2 minutes of air time each. Yeah. That. Never mind the mind boggling fact that a stoic delinquent-looking high school kid wants to open a flower shop with his perverted boobs-FTW afro pal. Don’t even ask how this is his dream that makes it feels so gay. Just sit back and relax, watch the mindless haphazard slapstick antics this short anime has to offer. You’ll end up a laughing riot or just having your jaws drop wide open and aghast. Or both.

Episode 1
Asakura’s request: He wants to teach in an all-girls high school and surround himself with girls with big boobs. That’s why he wants Ishida to call him Natural Perm sensei. Ishida’s reply: No can do because he plans to run a flower shop with him in the future. The busty homeroom teacher, Kinoshita wants to class to express what they want to do after they graduate. Yamada isn’t shy to reveal he wants to run a bookstore with Asakura. This causes Ishida to become mad and shoots his eraser at him, breaking his overly long front teeth! Satou wants to marry Asakura, the person she loves. But the class teases her she should be a porn star due to her boobs. However Asakura stands up for her. He will accept that they insult her but not her boobs!!! Ishida’s fury on boobs has him stab his pencil through Yamada’s forehead!

Episode 2
Asakura’s question: Why does Ishida want to run a flower shop with him when his dream is to be surrounded by busty girls? Ishida’s reply: Because he is going to run a flower shop of them, by them and for them! Though Ishida is tops in the exam, Asakura is in last place with only a meagre point. Do you think it’s okay since they’re going to open a flower shop? Till Kinoshita notes that he will be held back a year at this rate! Horror! Time to do some serious training. But all the training doesn’t seem to have any relation with exams. Why the heck do you need underwater training for? And boobs are all on Asakura’s mind. In the end, Asakura fails miserably because all he could write on the answer sheet is boobs! When Yamada insists his special training, Ishida slams the fire extinguisher over his head.

Episode 3
Asakura’s request: He was so taken by Kinoshita’s boobs that he forgot to go to the toilet. He wants Ishida to stand at the urinal next to him: Ishida’s reply: No can’t do because he too needs to take a leak. As Asakura takes a leak, he is surprised Kinoshita enters the men’s toilet and does her business standing up! Oh sh*t! Kinoshita is a guy????!!!!! NO WAAAAAAAAY!!! Back home Kinoshita greets her little sister, Nanako. But Nanako isn’t amused because Kinoshita is supposed to be her father!!! HOLY SH************T!!!  NO WAAAAAAAAY!!!

Episode 4
Asakura’s question: If they’re going to open a flower shop, how much will it cost? Ishida’s reply: Don’t worry, a cool ten million yen will suffice. Asakura doesn’t have that much… Asakura gets a call from Ishida saying that if he doesn’t come up with 10 million yen, he’ll die! Ishida then gets a call from Yamada. Before he could finish his sentence, Ishida is over at his place to kill him!!! Ishida is then surprised to see Asakura naked. Because he wanted to raise 10 million yen, he sold off everything and only got 980 yen… That’s a long way more to go… And Yamada’s ‘death’ has a flower stalk sticking out from his butt…

Episode 5
Asakura’s request: Since he wants to be surrounded by busty girls and teach, he needs to go to college. Will he help him out with his studies? Ishida’s options: Sit-ups, winter mountain climbing or space walk. Asakura’s choice: None of the above. The passionate Yamaguchi teaches the class maths. Did he purposely forget to zip up his pants or purposely letting his fly show? When Yamada makes Asakura part of his equation, enraged Ishida kills him off with his book. Yamaguchi has Asakura solve a simple equation but his answer is boobs! Feeling sad he is not teaching him right, he wants Asakura to jump into his arms to take away his sadness. Satou suddenly interjects and teaches him how to simply solve it. Since Asakura praises her, Yamaguchi makes her stand outside the hallway.

Episode 6
Asakura’s request: He thinks since Kinoshita has a daughter, she must have huge boobs too. He can’t stop thinking about it and wants Ishida to accompany him to see her. Ishida’s reply: No can’t do because Kinoshita has got an ‘elephant’… Remember the trauma? Somehow Asakura saves Nanako from a truck (Yamada got killed instead) and she instantly takes a liking for him. When Kinoshita finds out, she arranges them for them to be together and gives Nanako to him! However Asakura is disappointed that Nanako is flat! When they sleep together, Asakura falls dead asleep while Nanako tries to seduce him with her various cosplays. In the end, Asakura is prompted to ask where are her boobs! Such a sad story…

Episode 7
Asakura’s request: He knows Ishida’s dream to open a flower shop with him as well as Yamada’s to open a bookstore. Because of his own dream to be a teacher of busty babes, he wants him to run a flower shop with Yamada. Ishida’s reply: Negative because he is going to kill Yamada for good! Yamada creates a robot version of himself and programmes him to kill Ishida, the most evil man in the world. However Robo Yamada destroys Yamada instead. When confronting Ishida, he doesn’t view him as bad and presents a flower as their friendship. Because of that, they get along pretty fine. Till the real Yamada shows up and threatens to blow up everything by self destructing the robot. Robo Yamada sacrifices himself by blowing up with Yamada in the sky. YAMADAAAAA…!!!

Episode 8
Asakura’s question: How can Ishida cough up 10 million yen to open a flower shop since Asakura is going to be teacher? Ishida’s reply: He’ll work himself to death. Yeah, you do that… As part of his plan to ‘work to death’, Ishida sees a job vacancy hiring maids for a maid cafe. Do they hire guys? The manager allows it. Man, Ishida looks pretty as a maid!!! OMFG!!! Call him Alice too! His first customer is Yamada who wants to make Alice his concubine but he got killed by the plate. The manager tells him off to act the true way of the maid, treat everyone equally without prejudice. So happens the next customer is Asakura and Ishida goes all out to treat him very nice including writing his name on his omelette rice. Just that Asakura is baffled how this maid knows his name.

Episode 9
Asakura’s request: Learning Ishida has a part time job, he wants to visit him. Ishida’s reply: He would love to but he can’t because it is a job maid in hell. Get it? Made in hell… Yamada confronts Ishida and vows revenge and his total destruction. He heard he was at the maid cafe and must have done something hideous to Alice and will protect her! Ishida must be embarrassed and denies he had anything to do with that maid cafe or been there before. Yamada attacks but is knocked out with a single punch. Back at the cafe, Yamada apologizes to Alice he couldn’t protect her but Alice writes an encouraging message for him to do his best (Ishida must be improving as a true maid). Yamada is so touched that he wants to screw her now! Alice stabs him in the eye…

Episode 10
Asakura’s request: He saw Yamada with a girl and thinks it’s his sister. He wonders if Ishida can go ask the size of her boobs. Ishida’s reply: No can do because if she is his sister, she must be as evil as him! Ishida is just fresh of killing Yamada. Yamada’s sister is horrified to see him in this state and vows revenge on Ishida. She tries to attack him but Ishida throws Yamada her way. She dodges and he crashes into a truck that could have rammed into her.  Yamada’s sister couldn’t believe he saved her and falls for him. Before she could finish her sentence if he wants to exchange diaries, he refuses. I guess now that she is broken hearted, she thinks she’ll kill him after all.

Episode 11
Asakura’s question: He might not have given up on his dream to be a teacher of busty girls but in the event he opens a flower shop with him, can he fondle customer’s boobs? Ishida’s reply: Of course he can’t because they’re opening a flower shop and not a boobs fondling shop. Kinoshita wonders if Ishida can open a flower shop since she has never seen him smiling. Satou and Asakura help coach him to smile but either he looks goofy or scary. Noting the need for a new image, they make him dress up like a prince. That’s when Yamada barges in to settle their score. He got scared by this new image and runs away. Ishida beats him up but when he sends Yamada flying, it’s towards Asakura’s direction. Ishida swiftly uses his body as shield to protect him. Is he okay? With the nicest smile ever, Ishida assures he is okay. I wonder how Yamada’s head ended up inside Ishida’s butt hole!!!!!!! Is that the nicest feeling he has ever had?

Episode 12
Asakura’s request: He wants to live for the boobs and loves boobs a lot. Ishida’s question: Which does he like more: Him or boobs? Asakura: No reply… Ishida is trying to pull up Asakura hanging on the edge of the bridge. He won’t let go of his hand as he vowed to be stronger. Summoning up all his strength, he must have pulled Asakura up too hard and sends him flying into space and crashing into a UFO before his slamming re-entry kills Yamada by piercing through his head!!!! Amazingly Asakura is alright although butt naked. The re-entry burnt up his clothes but not him? Then the rest of the other characters relay the big news that somebody shot down a UFO. The girls are embarrassed he is naked while Yamaguchi takes off his pants for him to wear (I think he just wants to exhibit his lower anatomy). Ishida notes they are saved and that they can start a flower shop but Asakura refuses. A month later, some alien is blaming Kinoshita on ruining their boobs invasion of Earth. She can’t hold it in anymore and really needs to go. She does it right here standing and this blasts the alien away. Was it the shock or her call of nature? Anyway, that was how Earth and the boobs were saved. I don’t even know what to say… By the way, Yamada remains dead.

Bloom Or Wither The Flower?
Certainly I had my fair share of laughs with all the slapstick nonsense. So if you can stomach the little violence of Yamada dying a violent death in almost every episode or the boobs jokes that Asakura shamelessly express, then you should have no issues in laughing out loud in these episodes. Don’t put up too much high hopes for where the plot of this anime is going because there is never going to be one. Especially the garbage final scene about some alien trying to invade Earth. How the heck did it happen in the first place? How the heck did it end like that? And it didn’t even let the leading duo be the hero. For all you know, they might be happily operating a flower shop that doubles as a school to teach busty women on how to become a florist. I would say then that Asakura would really teach them how to ‘bloom’ into ‘fine’ ladies. Haha!

The characters are so odd that they feel unreal. In a funny sense of course. Like Asakura, if his perm doesn’t raise your eyebrow, how about his speech which sounds like a robot? Ishida and Yamada will forever be enemies over Asakura due to the different shops they want to open with him. Ishida always wins and Yamada is turned into some whipping boy that gets violently beaten up and torn to pieces but illogically brought back to life without any sort of scars from the previous hammering. Reminds me of a certain character’s fate in that American cartoon South Park… But for a delinquent to cross-dress as a maid, wow man, that is one heck of a beautiful transformation. A person like me who loves maids can’t even resist despite knowing well that’s a trap. Speaking of trap, I still can’t believe Kinoshita is really a guy… No wonder those humongous boobs look fake. I’m sure Asakura would have gotten his hands on it had not for that traumatic experience in seeing the ‘elephant’. Although this anime is about the titular characters, I thought Satou would play a little more role instead of being reduced to a sweet girl who is infatuated with Asakura. I guess weirdoes flock together. Same case with Nanako and Yamaguchi. Their appearance feels like cameo and don’t really impact the series that much. Yamada’s sister made her appearance a little too late to do anything.

The drawing and art hovers between weird and bishoujo. The guys will usually look have this weird look. Especially Yamada’s front teeth which I say can surpass a beaver’s record and Asakura’s ‘dead eyes’ making him look like a robot. Ishida looks like a delinquent and he really gets fiery when he gets upset especially when it involves his beloved Asakura. Yeah, it makes him gay… Except for Yamaguchi who looks like a hottie but even so he is a pervert and exhibitionist. Surprisingly the girls here have this bishoujo look. Really. All of them look pretty enough for me to consider them in my top 10 bishoujos of the year! Not kidding. That’s why I’m in a dilemma with Kinoshita as a trap. Oh no! Please don’t say my inner gay has awakened! Never! Surprisingly, the rock pop opening theme, Doki Doki Doku by Rayli sounds good despite lasting for just half a minute.

Male partnerships opening shops may sound very gay and unthinkable but think about the many popular brands that started out by a male combo. Take a look at Hewlett-Packard,  Barnes & Noble, Baskin-Robbins and Rolls-Royce. There are many other multi-national companies too that started out humbly from scratch. So don’t laugh (ironically you’re supposed to laugh at everything in this anime) at the dream of a couple of boys wanting to open a flower shop although this is the desire of just one of them. Who knows, they may become the world’s best flower suppliers. Or their venture may just fail and go bust because of too many customer harassments and thus sexual harassment lawsuits. Maybe running a pimp house would have been better. Oops! But does it really cost that much start-up capital to run a flower shop? Maybe. Costs of buying flowers, costs for equipment to maintain them, costs for equipment to arrange them. Then there are operational costs like rental, electricity and water, not to mention advertising. Wow. If running a flower shop already costs this much, I don’t think 10 million yen would even be enough. The pimp house option is sounding to be a much cheaper alternative already…