Drifters

April 30, 2017

Initially I was going to give Drifters the skip seeing that this is an alternate history or that kind of sort (no, it wasn’t about that old American doo-wop group). But then my guts start tingling like a spider sense so I went back to read again the synopsis. After gathering a few more information about it, I’m glad my guts were right because it does sound interesting because how badass can you get when you have a bunch of famous real characters from history converging in an alternate world to fight for the survival or destruction of that world! Wow. That has got to be very cool. Even better, it isn’t anything like Nobunaga The Fool despite the same concept of bringing together a bunch of famous historical personalities. So if you want to see a death battle between Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar, this series is somewhat it. Okay, Napoleon and Julius Caesar didn’t really appear here but you catch my drift (pun intended). Even if this isn’t meant to be historical accurate and only uses personalities from history, but I guess it beats using the same ol’ formula of gender bender Nobunaga. Yeah… By the way, he is in here. As a man. Phew!

Episode 1
Toyohisa Shimazu is cutting through the enemies in the bloody Battle of Sekigahara. When his uncle wants them to retreat back to Satsuma, Toyohisa wants to stay back and but time for him to escape because as long as he returns to Satsuma, they will win this battle. Toyohisa and his side fight off the advancing Ii clan. It seemed like Toyohisa is reckless as he gets pierced by all the guards in his bid to reach the boss, Naomasa. But he has a trick up his sleeve as he pulls out a gun and fires at him. With Naomasa down, the enemy retreats. However Toyohisa is not happy because he wants to take his head back. As he limps away, he suddenly finds himself in a strange endless white room with many strange doors and a strange man, Murasaki who looks like a typical government officer. When Murasaki writes a note, Toyohisa gets absorbed into a door. It is a strange fantasy world but Toyohisa thinks he is in hell since before him are 2 elves. Recognizing his weird language, they realize he is a Drifter. They take him to an abandoned castle where a couple of Drifters are taking refuge and quickly leave as they fear their master might find out they come into contact with them. Toyohisa wakes up and quickly draws his sword at the guy before him. He cannot believe this dude is Nobunaga Oda. He is already dead for 18 years (Nobunaga feels it has only been months here). Either he is a ghost or a lunatic pretending to be him. Making it even more unbelievable is the other guy, Yoichi Suketaka Nasu who is supposed to be dead for 400 years during the Genpei War! Yoichi stops their bickering and makes them pluck bird feathers?! They get to know each other and the only similarity is that they met a strange guy in a strange room with doors before coming here. Of course Toyohisa being the ‘youngest’, they haven’t heard of his name or clan whatsoever. Nobunaga is shocked to hear in his time how his clan and country has fallen into civil war. All his family members are dead or became unknowns. Even his son as he learns has died during the battle. A sad and bitter pill to swallow. He feels everything he did for 50 years was in vain. Spying on them is Olminu who works under the head of Octobrist, Abe No Haruakira. He feels the need to do something or else the world will be destroyed.

Episode 2
Another of Haruakira’s subordinate is keeping a close eye on another couple of Drifters. Old men fighting in the desert over stolen tactics? Scipio Africanus versus Hannibal Barca. Which old dude will win the knockout punch? Toyohisa and co wake up in the middle of the night. They smell fire. A village beyond the forest is being burnt down. After Nobunaga explains the elves live there, Toyohisa immediately bolts ahead. The 2 elves that saved him are about to be cut into half but here comes Toyohisa slicing them instead. Noticing the enemy is well equipped, they cannot be bandits but soldiers of a lord’s force. They decide to claim the village. All the elves are rounded up by Aram and his knights. He is accusing them of entering the forest and associating with Drifters, which is a serious crime for them. He reminds them the administration of Drifters fall under those magicians in Octobrist. The elves argue the unreasonable demand of staying out of the forest because that is where they gather fire wood and hunt. Aram tells them to blame their ancestors for losing the war. One day all demihumans like them will be wiped out. Then he kills half of them! A soldier reports the wheat field is on fire. Aram is worried since this is where his tax money comes from. This fire was set by Nobunaga in his bid to capture this village. Toyohisa jumps in and decapitates all the soldiers before facing off with Aram who is cocky he will kill this bastard. Toyohisa is enraged seeing slaughtered bodies of elves, he is going to take more than his head. He will take his life. Toyohisa throws his sword at him as distraction and then goes up close to him to grapple him to the ground. He takes his hilt and pounds on his head mercilessly. After a while he stops. He gives a sword to an elf and tells him to kill Aram. Take revenge! At first they are hesitant but with hatred burning inside, all of them pick up the weapons and stab Aram to death. Feel good, right? All the fleeing soldiers are killed off by Yoichi. The elves now bow down to their new master and saviour, Toyohisa. Meanwhile Murasaki is being confronted by Easy who mocks him no matter how many Drifters he send, they cannot beat her Ends. He doesn’t give a f*ck about her so she ups the ante by starting the invasion.

Episode 3
Haruakira and his Octobrist are helping to keep guard on the city’s wall defence. However the guards are confident the walls have never been broken through. Haruakira knows they will lose at this rate so he seeks permission to let Scipio and Hannibal take command. Of course they won’t allow it and making it worse, Hannibal’s bladder problems has him wetting his pants. They laugh at the old man but Scipio stands up for him. Though, they might not understand what he is talking. When magic stops working, Haruakira realizes the Black King, the leader of Ends and his army are here. Hordes of monster soldiers and dragon reinforcements too. How you all gonna fight that?! But it looks like the Black King also has a few historical figures on his side. Toshizou Hijikata, Joan d’Arc, Gilles de Rais and Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova. However Kurou Hougan Yoshitsune is the unpredictable one. Despite being on the Black King’s side, he is neither a Drifter nor End. He will take whichever side that interests him. The invasion begins and in no time the walls fall. Not laughing this time, aren’t we? Haruakira thinks the city cannot be saved but must let the Drifters escape. Suddenly a door appears from the sky and out comes from it is a Zero fighter plane piloted by Captain Naoshi Kanno. This guy is in a bad mood and perhaps going to lose and now he is in an unknown land with flying dragons? But when he sees the city burning down and the people being slaughtered, it reminds him of his own similar circumstances. He now knows who the enemy is. Haruakira takes the old guys to meet up with the other Drifters, Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid. He seeks for advice if they can win and since Hannibal says the chances aren’t zero, Haruakira gets his confidence back that if they team up with those Japanese Drifters, they can still win this. They escape the burning city with the cowboys giving them the ride of their lives. Their sharp shooting skills can take out the infantry but what about the dragons? Naoshi is gunning them down like nobody’s business. Haruaki is glad he is a Drifter. After the city has fallen, the Black King orders his army to find and exterminate all Drifters in his bid to eliminate mankind. Meanwhile Olminu is being discovered by Toyohisa and co. She fears they will kill her so she explains everything. People like them from another world are called Drifters and are being monitored and gathered by Octobrist to fight against Ends. However the trio don’t care and are not interested at all.

Episode 4
Olminu continues her explanation. She doesn’t think they are Ends because these heartless people are inhumane and only seek the destruction of mankind. Nobunaga asks if Octobrist has any army but it seems they are borrowing them from lords and kings. That is why they need Drifters to tip the balance. Nobunaga laughs at this approach because in feudalism, which lord will give up his entire army to others. He proposes that Octobrist not be the head but instead they will be leaders in their campaign conquest in which Octobrist will play a supporting role. Oh, Toyohisa will be their leader. Why him? Because he saved the elves, right? Grigori Rasputin reports the casualties to the Black King. He will heal his brethren who are injured. He explains he once tried to save mankind but they rejected him. Now he has no choice but to save demihumans and annihilate humans. The elves are discussing their next course of action because they know their master will not stand for this. Olminu has a charm that would have them speak fluently in their language. Poor Yoichi. He tried so hard to learn their language… Olminu explains elves were defeated by humans 40 years ago and were subjugated to become as serfs. Nobunaga wants Toyohisa to rally them. Will they continue to live in humiliation of their ancestors and children? They don’t want to be slaves anymore so it is decided that they’ll take back their land. Toyohisa thinks Nobunaga is letting him take command because he is substituting him as his dead son. He tells him he is not his son. He died. Heart breaking for an old man but he hits back at Toyohisa that he isn’t his dad too because he must have died a long time ago. Then they start arguing and fighting before the elves break them up because the troops are closing in. Olminu adds that this land once belonged to the elves. The human kingdom of Orte has also been expanding its territories by subjugating other demihumans throughout the years. Nobunaga knows that Orte will send its troop to slaughter everyone as lesson and warning to others. What is Toyohisa planning to do? They’ll let them in alright. When the troops arrive, they find no one around. It seems they are hiding in the forest and Toyohisa can’t wait to kill them all tonight.

Episode 5
The village’s wells are filled with faeces and there is no drinking water. The elves are crafting bows and arrows since they have a natural talent as archers. The dead soldiers were decapitated. Although their heads were given a proper burial, their bodies are tossed in a pit filled with more faeces and urine. To them it is the same thing as being buried but only making the process faster. Toyohisa rallies the elves to fight back and then storm the enemy base to take back their women who have been held captive. Nobunaga notices Toyohisa’s flare as a warlord instead of a ruler because he impels people to fight. The night siege on the village begins. The guards are taken by surprise. While Toyohisa singlehandedly slices them, Nobunaga guides the elves as they quickly create a mini barricade. They then lace their arrows with faeces and fire. It seems the medical advances of this world is primitive because they don’t have any proper disinfection for tetanus. Nobunaga observes the poor skills and low morale of these third rate soldiers. They don’t have to kill all of them. Just kill 10% or 20% and they will lose morale and scatter. After Toyohisa takes the head of the commander, the troops flee. The elves rejoice in their victory but Toyohisa says it is not over yet till they storm their main base. But Nobunaga chides him he doesn’t even have a plan for that. The fleeing soldiers fall into pits filled with spikes and faeces. If they don’t, Yoichi and the other elves will take them out. This tactic seems to be very familiar to Yoshitsune who once told Yoichi there is no fairness in wars. The commanders at the main base are worried that the soldiers have not returned. They fear an uprising and this would lead to other demihumans taking action. They may need to destroy a few villages to show who is boss and at worse, hang the women. They are delighted when the troops return. However Nobunaga and the elves are disguised in their armour and they have already entered in. Toyohisa leads the elves to the tower where the elven women are held. Some soldiers throw down their weapons and surrender. Toyohisa tells the elves not to kill such because it will be a disgrace. Whether you kill an enemy depends on their actions. When they enter the tower, they see all the elven women being tortured and raped. No more Mr Nice Guy for Toyohisa. All of them will die. I guess surrendering now isn’t an option, huh?

Episode 6
As Nobunaga ransacks the place, he finds a large portrait. Olminu explains this is the father of Orte who founded the kingdom 60 years ago. Doesn’t he look like Adolf Hitler? Out of nowhere he rallied humans to fight. But after Orte was founded he committed suicide. The reason remains unknown. When Nobunaga learns Toyohisa has rounded up the soldiers and are about to give orders to the elves to kill them all, he knocks him out real hard. Then Nobunaga gives the order himself to execute them. It seems he doesn’t want Toyohisa to do such twisted jobs. That’s a job for him. The elves kill everyone except for one guy who kept claiming he is a newbie who just got transferred here and did not sleep with any women. They feel killing him would make them no different. When the elven females return to their respective village, Nobunaga also sent a propaganda memo there to make them rise up and revolt. The domino effect has the elves slowly breaking away from Orte’s subjugation. The Orte council is discussing their next action when this gay guy, Count Saint-Germi barges in to give his opinion. He owns a quarter of Orte and it is believed the kingdom could not have existed had he not ‘betrayed’. He tells everyone their supply route has already been cut as their fleet has been seized and sunk by Shylock Co of the Gu Binnen Guild. This guy gets his war tactics from a Drifter, a Japanese naval admiral Tamon Yamaguchi. Saint-Germi also knows that the elves have revolt and this would lead to other demihumans doing the same. He realizes this kingdom is doomed. He decides to go contact the elves. Nobunaga is mad that Toyohisa decided a village head council system for the elves when he could be king for them. His reason is that he knows one day the elves will turn against them. But Nobunaga vows not to stop until he achieves his dream of making Toyohisa as king. Nobunaga has the elves gather more faeces to make bombs. They must be thinking this guy loves sh*t. As elves cannot replicate making guns, the only race who can do it as expert blacksmiths are dwarves. That night, the Drifters have an eerie feeling that something is coming after them. They know it isn’t Orte and something more powerful. It’s Joan and Gilles.

Episode 7
Joan and Gilles burn down trees and kill some elves in a bid to lure out the Drifters. It’s time for an epic fight between Drifters and Ends. Toyohisa takes on Joan while Yoichi faces off with Gilles. Nobunaga and the elves hide in the forest and easily take care of the cavalry with simple traps and high grounds. Olminu uses her ground wall to save Toyohisa from Joan’s flames. She is shocked that he kneels and gives her a proper gratitude because there might not be a next time. Mistaking Joan to be a man, Toyohisa returns to fight her. He can tell that she is showing off her flame magic like as though she wants the world to know she can do this. This means she is a rookie in fighting and it will be easy for him to kill her. Joan is puzzled that Toyohisa trapped himself around her flames. When Toyohisa gives the signal, Olminu uses her ground wall spell to propel him towards her. Olminu is confused because this life risking ways just to take the enemy’s head is what Ends are. Toyohisa pushes Joan into the well. It seems water is what she was seeking. She was burnt at the stake as a witch despite fighting for her people and country. When the people abandoned her, Easy popped up to save her. When Toyohisa realizes Joan is a woman, he loses his motivation to cut her head. He tells her to go home and do women-like things. He can’t be satisfied with this and might have to take Gilles’ head. This makes her upset but he doesn’t care or even heard about France or Christ and knocks her out. Yoichi is baffled despite shooting multiple times into Gilles’ vital points, he cannot die! Even taking out his eyes, Gilles is still moving! When Yoichi gets in a bind, Nobunaga can’t let him die and orders the elves to fire all they’ve got. No effect on that monster! At the right moment, Haruakira’s cavalry arrive as Butch fires his rounds into Gilles. Even being shot to pieces he is still moving! When Gilles realizes Joan has gone, he tells us his reason of unfinished journey. The Maiden couldn’t go to heaven and thus he decided to defile himself to go to hell and join her. However he ended up in this world with her. But now she is no longer the Maiden and will definitely go to hell, Gilles disintegrate himself to reach hell first. Phew. End of the monster. Haruakira introduces himself to Nobunaga as the man who hates Ends who should not exist in this world and tasked with supporting Drifters.

Episode 8
Yoichi hears Yoshitsune mocking him for the way he fights. Yoichi will not follow his orders anymore so Yoshitsune tells him to do as he please. The next time they meet will be more interesting. When Haruakira learns Toyohisa didn’t kill Joan, he isn’t happy. Joan has escaped. Toyohisa’s policy will not have him take the head of a woman. Haruakira argues gender is irrelevant as he is part of Ends but Toyohisa screws his rules. He follows his own rules as they are humans. They will not be pawns to be manipulated by Murasaki. When Nobunaga sees Hannibal, he is in a state of dementia and quickly deteriorating. During the run from the Black King’s army, Scipio fell off. They couldn’t go back to find him because of the relentless attack. Don’t worry, that guy is still alive as he is trekking through the dense forest till he sees a crashed Zero plane. Naoshi has tamed all those demihuman dogs under his command. Nobody beats this guy’s anger. Both humans butt heads but when Naoshi learns he is from Rome, they quickly become friends. Because the Axis tripartite pact. But he changes his mind and beats him up. Italy sucks, right? Nobunaga is fascinated with bullets as Butch explains this to him. However their guns are now useless since they have ran out of them. Nobunaga believes such weaponry can change the tide of the battle and do mass annihilation. He claims he can make those black powder needed for bullets. He has Olminu get sulphur from those sh*t. Yeah, it stinks. Now he needs the dwarves’ blacksmithing skills. Haruakira notes Nobunaga is a dangerous man. Ends might have the same goal of world destruction but Drifters have different goals. This makes them unpredictable. He believes Orte’s founder was also a Drifter. He tried to unite mankind but it ended up with a large endless war erupting.

Nobunaga continues explaining his plan to liberate those oppressed under Orte and forming an alliance to take Orte down. They will unite all tribes and establish a multi-racial federation where each race has the right to self-govern although they will keep the military power and Toyohisa as the commander. Although this will lead to military rule, it is way better than Orte or being destroyed by Ends. But why make Toyohisa the king? Nobunaga feels he doesn’t have what it takes for it. He thought profits and fear would be the controlling factor but the hearts of men don’t work like that. When he was betrayed, the first person he suspected was his son. Yet he died. Therefore Toyohisa who doesn’t care about gain or loss, fear or intimidation is the right person for the job. Since he is a fool, he needs an assistant, which is where Nobunaga comes in. Toyohisa tests Hannibal’s senile by feigning an attack. His eyes are still sharp and Toyohisa likes it. They become great buddies. Toyohisa tells the elves he is going to liberate the dwarves. They are not happy because both races hate each other and never got along. Toyohisa’s answer is that only those who wants to fight should join him. He is just going out conquering. The elves realize in the previous war had they thrown away their silly grudges and worked together, they wouldn’t have become slaves. They decide to support Toyohisa and avoid repeating the mistakes their previous generation did. Haruakira and the cowboys decide to return to HQ to look for Scipio and investigate more about Ends. Kid lets Nobunaga keep his pistol and the gatling gun.

Episode 9
Gadolka is where the dwarves are held and the biggest armoury of Orte. If this falls, Orte is done for. Gadolka is under sieged with our Drifters and elves throwing bombs made out of sulphur and sh*t to scatter and confuse the enemy. But those are the small fries. The ones with heavy armours and weapons start streaming out. Surely they’re not going to fight them head on. Toyohisa cues Olminu to use her stone walls to trap them. Then the rest throw the bombs inside. No escape! Boom! Game over. But when the bridge to the main town closes, Nobunaga views this as a problem. Till Hannibal gives some hand signal that he suddenly knows what to do. With Olminu’s stone walls and Yoichi’s sharp archery skills, they create giant steps on the walls to climb up and over. They enter the building to free the dwarves. The elves see the devastated tortured state they are in. The elves felt lucky that their race was only made into serfs. The dwarves pleads for freedom and if they do so they can help fight. Toyohisa likes the dwarves’ spirit but seeing how malnourished they are, he stops the battle and has everyone cook and eat! Gather all the pots and any meat you can find! Slaughter the horses too! While the dwarves are eating, Toyohisa goes to warn the remaining soldiers holing up in the castle. He tells them to run now and he promise he won’t chase and kill them. Because if they don’t, the dwarves will come after them. Because there is not enough food and they’ll eat them! The soldiers agree to surrender. Toyohisa wants to know who the lord of this place is. The commander steps up. Toyohisa wants him to wait and prepare a ritual for him to disembowel his stomach. This is the only honourable thing to do after you lose. However he is scared and won’t do it. Toyohisa doesn’t see him fit as a leader and decapitates him immediately! The other soldiers run as Toyohisa tells Yoichi not to go after them. For now, let’s get back to eating. Meanwhile, an Octobrist and Doug spy along the northern walls. They see a huge dragon cavalry and the huge bronze dragon, one of the 6 great dragons who might have joined forces with the Black King. Even more shocking when they see the monsters doing farming. They note Haruakira was right. The Black King doesn’t wish for the world’s end but to become a saviour to the monsters who will take the place of humans.

Episode 10
The bronze dragon is going to eat the Black King for not knowing his place. However the Black King casts a curse on him that melts his skin! He gives the beast a chance to join his alliance. Fearful of his life, the bronze dragon agrees. Rasputin and Hijikata are discussing the Black King’s amazing resurrection power and even on inanimate objects like crops. So why make his troops do agriculture instead of creating eternal food for them? It’s because he is not God and doesn’t have eternal life. As per his request, Rasputin has done organizing a new symbol for their new religion and language (Roman alphabets?). The Black King plans to unite all races under one new religion and language and forge their own civilization in this world. Saint-Germi and his subordinates, Allister and Fulame arrive at the elves’ base. Mills (the ex-tax accountant for elven colonies) tells the elves to hide the young boys but the young girls are okay! Imagine Saint-Germi’s disappointment when he doesn’t find his paradise of young elven boys around. Mills tells him about Toyohisa and the rest going to free the dwarves and make firearms. The more the dwarves eat, the more buffed they become. Nobunaga shows the musket for them to make but they can’t understand why the need for such complex equipment if a bow and arrow is just as effective. Nobunaga is lost for words so Toyohisa explains about its roar and battle cry as well as how easy it is to train peasants to kill veteran soldiers. Joan has woke up back at the base and Anastasia is by her side. After learning Gilles is dead, she is filled with rage and wants revenge on that samurai but Anastasia declines her because she underestimated them. She will have to wait for another chance for her desire to come to pass.

The beast soldiers are tying down the bronze dragon who is pleading to the Black King to stop all this. However he tells him if he cannot walk beside them, he is just mere meat. It seems the Black King’s life is slowly chipping away. The dwarves amazingly recreate another musket. Nobunaga asks how many they can make at full force, he is amazed they can make about 10 in a day. One day! Suddenly Saint-Germi comes in. Too late Olminu trying to warn them this tranny is here. Saint-Germi considers himself a Drifter and even the father of Orte too (confirmed as Hitler). That’s because Hitler formed an efficient bureaucratic government, eliminated nepotism, centralized wealth and unified the people. Otherwise how could they have fought against other races? How do you think that is not an incredible work? Because Saint-Germi knows about them all, Nobunaga notes he is dangerous and cannot let their guard down. Saint-Germi is here to see if they are worthy to join forces with. In fact his subordinates are already testing out Toyohisa. I’m not sure why, but they were going great guns against Toyohisa until they saw Hannibal in which they fall weak on their knees. Do they have old men fetish? Clearly defeated. Saint-Germi introduces himself as a traitor as he plans to sell off Orte to them. Because when a country falls, it must fall in a proper way. He doesn’t like the idea of other countries invading Orte and then forcing them to surrender. So what must the Drifters do? Destroy Orte effectively with one blow while it still holds power.

Episode 11
Saint-Germi seems to be from many years in the future as he knows all about their history and outcome. When he offers to tell Toyohisa on what happened at Sekigahara, Toyohisa cuts him off and shocks him he already knows what happened. Nobunaga believes they can trust this tranny because they betray for profit instead of sentimental grudges. The gang now ride into Verlina, Orte’s capital. Saint-Germi summons the council members and tells them they are going to close down Orte. They will turn over a new leaf and work under their new leader, Toyohisa. Some object to it but some agree. But when one who agree doesn’t want a Drifter as a head, it is clear he is being manipulated by Rasputin. He explains the Black King has sent troops to take over Verlina. But the moment they barge into the room, Toyohisa decapitates them all! He ignores Rasputin and beats up the council being manipulated by him! Then he says their intention from the beginning is to fight and no conquering is done without shedding blood. This pisses off Rasputin as he ends his communication and discusses with Hijikata about the crazy Drifters. But the Black King interjects. If they cannot capture Verlina, change their plan. Aim for destruction instead of usurpation. Their objective is maximum chaos. His aim is to stop Drifters from taking the state but if it falls into their hands, cripple it. Nobunaga is upset that Saint-Germi’s best soldiers are only about 500 men. Topless muscular gay men!!! With the dwarves completing the guns, they are handed to them as they will play the musketeer role whom Nobunaga will lead. Yoichi will lead the elves in the archer division while Toyohisa will lead the dwarves to be foot soldiers. Their mission: Annihilate everyone! EVERYONE! When the Black King’s army arrives, Nobunaga starts with his musketeers firing. As this is the first time gun is used, its devastating effect and sound causes everyone to be in shock and awe. Nobunaga dislikes the slow reloading times but can’t rush his men. Yoichi’s side rain arrows down. After the second volley from the musketeers, the fear starts to sink into the enemy. Unable to move, this is where Toyohisa’s side comes in to hack all of them.

Episode 12
With chaos everywhere, Hijikata makes some changes to his plans and is going in himself. He then faces off with Toyohisa and it seems Hijikata has a deep grudge against the Shimazu clan. From Yoichi’s aerial watch, Nobunaga is worried that the enemies are dispersing in smaller units and setting fire randomly. He is in a dilemma to do the same to his troops because this would mean weakening his musketeers’ firepower and their lack of experience in the battlefield means nobody is qualified to lead smaller groups. However when Hannibal starts talking about crushing the grapes as he scatters and stomps them, this gives Nobunaga an idea. He realizes the enemy’s goal has not changed and wants everyone to regroup. He is glad Toyohisa is keeping Hijikata company because this means the enemy leader isn’t focusing on commanding his troops. Saint-Germi feels odd because it feels as though Ends’ goal is to conquer this state instead of annihilation. Could the Black King be somebody he knows? Hijikata is upset that Toyohisa is fooling around while fighting. Hey, there are no rules in war, right? Hijikata sends his Shinsengumi spirits to attack him but he slices them all. They can regenerate, though. As their swords finally clash, Toyohisa’s sword breaks. When the enemy troops enter the capitol building, this is part of Nobunaga’s plan to trap them and burn them all inside. It works like a charm since everywhere is laced with bombs. Those who try and escape will be met with point blank shots from the musketeers. Hijikata is further infuriated that Toyohisa is smiling despite taking damage. He is truly mad. It is this attitude why his Shinsengumi died and he hates the Shimazu clan for it. Even more infuriating is when Toyohisa mentions if he dies in this battle, his death will lay the future foundation for Nobunaga to pave way for victory. More madness when the dwarves come back him up with their gunfire. Toyohisa even stands in their line of fire! While Hijikata is in shock, Toyohisa runs up close to him and beats him up. This is when the Black King relays a message to him to withdraw. Hijikata insists he can still fight and has not lost but the Black King say because he has not lost, it is his victory. There is no victory beyond this. Now it descends into a punching brawl so a dragon trooper has to whisk Hijikata away, leaving both men somewhat disappointed and satisfied. Toyohisa collapses after it is over. Rasputin seeks the Black King’s forgiveness for this failure but he isn’t perturbed as he views this probing mission to be a success and were able to cripple Verlina. The Black King then speaks to Mitsuhide Akechi who in no doubt will join his force if he gets to kill Nobunaga.

History Revision
One quick sentence. This needs to have another season! Fast! I know it is announced right at the very end of the final episode but I can’t really wait for the next season to come! I NEED IT NOW!!! It’s only right since Toyohisa didn’t finish his fight with Hijikata. And what does it mean the second season will come in 20XX?! F*ck this teaser! Don’t tell me it’s 2099! I don’t have a time travelling machine! Heck, they’ve already got a decent preview of the next episode like always, as though they have already made the damn thing! Ah, I get it. They just want to choke us off after getting us addicted and feel the withdrawal symptoms. Oh well, I guess I have to be patient like everybody else. Yeah, we have to be thankful with hundreds and thousands of human years of history that enabled the creative stories involving the greatest historical personalities.

The story and plot are quite interesting to follow. Even if you aren’t a history fan, the mere mashing up of a few historical figures in an unknown world would still be an appealing idea worth checking out. After all, this series isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously itself either (because history is so boring that it turns almost everyone off, right?). So in between serious discussions and grim and sombre scenes, suddenly they crack into a joke or two. This is evident when you see the change in animation style. Uh huh. Characters go all chibi and funny especially Nobunaga whose hair seems to be spreading out like Medusa. After the jokes are done, it is back to all that seriousness again. Hence there is some kind of good balance between the action, drama and comical parts and the reason why the series captivated my attention from start to finish. But to some, the sudden insertion of comical parts may ruin the serious tone of the series. I’m fine with that. Hey, are you supposed to take this series seriously? Even Toyohisa doesn’t take his life too seriously.

But one of my greatest dilemmas for this series is the characters. While it is great to see a number of historical characters, deep down inside my greedy heart I was disappointed that I wanted to see more of them! And this is even myself complaining that there is lack of screen time and focus from some of the other characters such as Butch, Kid, Naoshi and Tamon! They make short appearances and then are somewhat forgotten because of how short this series is. Although they are shown in the ending credits montage, it doesn’t really amount to anything much. Just to let you know the producers haven’t forgotten about them. Thus if I were to get my wish to have more Drifters and Ends into the fray, this would have further dilute the importance of these people at least as far as this season is concerned. Thus such characters serve more as an introduction as we build up to later stories and perhaps more could appear along the way. But for now I have to contend with the ‘few’ here. Of course I can take heart that this is just the first season and with another one coming, I hope they will introduce more then.

A big chunk of this season focuses on Toyohisa and his Drifters group. Toyohisa is likeable as a main character despite his barbaric brutality is because of his no nonsense nature. In that sense he is honest and does not beat around the bush. He lives and upholds truly to his warrior code and way of life. He does not care about power, position and materialistic stuffs and does it because he wants to. To put it as Nobunaga describes him, he doesn’t read the situation or rather he doesn’t want to. If I was in this world, I would definitely want to follow him and make him my leader. He might be mad when he is fighting but if that is his way to keep things positive and realistic, so be it. Though, you might have to get used to his crazy fetish of cutting off enemy heads as trophy. It’s like his clan’s crazy sign of manliness. Nobunaga is also quite likeable because of his smooth and sarcastic talking. Many of his narrations about Toyohisa, the situation and everything else are interesting to hear and could draw inspiration. If Toyohisa is the brawns, Nobunaga is definitely the brains and he uses it to the utmost advantage. Among the main trio, Yoichi doesn’t seem to be that prominent. For now he is a great archer and is mostly relegated to roles (in battle) of finishing off remaining enemies that flee the battlefield. Of course with his relationship with Yoshitsune, it seems there are some potentials there but not in this season.

Sadly, the Octobrist feels forgotten towards the end of the series. I know they’ve gone off to do other important things behind the scenes but I thought they would play a main role as a force against Ends. That’s why I thought this series was too short to tell everything and give everyone their worth of screen time. And because the lack of female characters (at least from the Drifters’ side), the reason why we have busty Olminu as a supporting side character working with them. If she was living in today’s reality of political correctness, she would have sued Nobunaga for his constant harassment of mispronouncing her name all the time by adding tits and boobs to her name. So much so she just gave up retorting and correcting him. No, not a sign she has relented and accepted her new nickname! And there are times where Nobunaga casually gropes her boobs. Hey, he is the shogun and does anything he wants with his women! Speaking of Olminu, I think she is really the only real woman in the Drifters’ side. Because Yoichi looks effeminate and Saint-Germi and his subordinates as just too tranny. Scipio and Hannibal are like the odd married couple always arguing among each other (and sometimes backing up each other) but to see old men argue isn’t as much fun…

As interesting the Drifters are, those in Ends under the Black King are interesting too. While we may not know a whole lot of them and just part of the story, it is intriguing to see what the Black King really wants. Is it really to destroy humanity and unite the other races? What are his powers because if he is so damn powerful like God (which he isn’t), why can’t he just straight away kill all the Drifters instead of making slow progressions with his plans with Ends? Thus there is this mysterious side to him and Ends that I feel we have yet to see. Although Drifters are painted as the good guys, perhaps when we learn more about Ends, the lines will be blurred. It would be the biggest twist when we are no longer sure if we are to support Drifters or Ends.

The biggest mystery and puzzle to everything that has happened is of course the eternal rivalry between Murasaki and Easy. What are they doing this far and for what ends? It might sound serious when they throw in historical personalities to fight for the fate for the world but it call all turn out to be just a silly petty reason because someone at the other’s dessert. Yeah… Ultimate insult? Because for now it seems like Easy is the one trying to throw her weight around with her arrogance, egotism and supposed superiority but usually Murasaki would just play cool and ignore her, attending to his whatever desk job. Then it begs the question if this Drifters vs Ends are just one of the many challenges by them? Because there are so many doors and my conspiracy theory tells me that there might be many other similar worlds drenched in such battle royale setting.

One thing that puzzled me was the original language that the denizens of this world is speaking. For sure it wasn’t Japanese. I am not sure if this is merely gibberish or a new language concocted. The latter is more reasonable as I could hear some sort of structure in their sentences. But to actually create a new language just for this series? Doesn’t seem economical from my point of view. Trying to search online (with my lazy Google searching) didn’t yield any results. Because in some instances when Scipio and Hannibal start speaking in Latin, there will be a note on the screen to say so. But when the denizens speak it, surely it would not make sense that they are talking in Latin, right? Of course with the magic talisman, convenience of speaking our favourite Japanese is soon favoured with everybody and this language is close to forgotten.

The draw of this series is definitely its action parts. They are fast paced, they are gory, they are bloody and definitely not for the faint hearted. Very brutal. Ultra violent. It makes you want to play Mortal Kombat and perform a fatality on every win! So when you see a barbaric Toyohisa jump to action and start slaying and decapitating his enemies, be prepared to see blood shed like waterfall as well as limbs and heads flying more furious than a beat ‘em up video games. Nobunaga’s experience in war tactics also makes the battles entertaining to watch. So it isn’t all just mindless hack and slash from Toyohisa but some brains and planning from the devilish unifier of Japan himself. Though, I can’t say much about Yoichi’s archery because he is such a sharp shooter that every hit counts and we don’t really get to see everything as it happens so fast.

The art and drawing is a mix. Due to the brutality of scenes, sometimes they look gorgeous and fantastic while at other times they are just plain. Oh, some scenes are pretty dark so it is hard to see things. Then there is the comical parts which suddenly turns everyone into marshmallow stick people or chibi mode so if you’re not used to the flow of the series already, the very sudden difference in artwork can be jarring. But generally the characters have this realistic but unique look to them. Then there are times when the characters go into their evil scheming mode (especially Nobunaga). Their face will be all black except their white teeth and eyes. Personally, it makes them look like monsters. Even more so sometimes when their facial features go a bit off and this makes them look like demons/monsters too.

Now, I thought this series was done by the people who did Shingeki No Kyojin. Because some of the art and animation resembles very closely to the surrealism of that series. But Drifters is actually made by Hoods Drifters Studio. While this is technically the first anime made by them under this name, they did a few other series under the name Hoods Entertainment such as Seikon No Qwaser, Nazo No Kanojo X, Blazblue Alter Memory, Fantasista Doll and Kanojo Ga Flag Wo Oraretara. Another reason why I thought of Shingeki No Kyojin was because of Toyohisa’s uniform design that bears a close similarity. Doesn’t he look like a grownup and crazy version of Eren?

The voice acting is perfect. They do a good job in giving their character some convincing depths. There are quite a handful of recognizable seiyuus. Yuuichi Nakamura as Toyohisa is in familiar waters as a character full of angst but with some sort of accent. Then there are Tomokazu Sugita as Saint-Germi, Takahiro Sakurai as Haruakira, Daisuke Ono as Butch, Hiroki Yasumoto as Hijikata, Akira Ishida as Yoshitsune and Sho Hayami as Mitsuhide. For the rest, they are Naoya Uchida as Nobunaga (Endou in Kaiji), Mitsuki Saiga as Yoichi (Phantom in MAR), Shiho Kokido as Olminu (Miki in Sekkou Boys), Yutaka Aoyama as Hannibal (Yamada in To Be Hero), Hiroshi Yanaka as Scipio (Nobuhide in Nobunaga The Fool), Wataru Takagi as Kid (Genta in Detective Conan), Tatsuhisa Suzuki as Naoshi (Ban in Nanatsu No Taizai), Taiten Kusunoki as the Black King (Rock Bison in Tiger & Bunny), Masahiko Tanaka as Rasputin (Gojirou in Coppelion), Junko Minagawa as Joan (Ryouma in Prince Of Tennis), Junko Kitanishi as Anastasia (Shouko in Kuragehime), Kenji Nomura as Gilles (Largo in Senjou No Valkyria), Mitsuru Yamamoto as Murasaki (Ayame in Fruits Basket) and Kanae Itou as Easy (Ohana in Hanasaku Iroha). There are a lot more seiyuus to this but they are mainly as minor roles like the soldiers.

The rock based opening theme, Gospel Of The Throttle (Kyouhon Remix version) by Minutes Til Midnight is a suitable piece for this blood and gory series. Maon Kurosaki does the ending theme, Vermillion, another rock outfit which is of course befitting to the genre of this series. The ending theme for the final episode, Rurou No Zakura by Yasushi Ishii is more of a slow rock. There are also a few cool rock BGM pieces especially during the action scenes.

Overall, I am quite impressed with this series and I am pretty sure that personally I can call this an epic series though it may fall a bit tad short of being a masterpiece. Well, it is good to know that there are still a handful of good animes in between while I wait for the next epic season of Shingeki No Kyojin to come about. Hint, hint. Please no more delays, please? History could have been more interesting if it was this messed up but it is thanks to what really happened in history that allowed us to create such a messed up story. Here’s hoping Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar join in the fray next season.

Nazotokine

April 29, 2017

Normally I don’t have a thing for anime series that has you solve puzzles. Long story short, I’m too dumb and don’t want to think so much. Even mystery series like Detective Conan I have given the skip but some like Hyouka are mind blowing. So it was natural that I was going to skip Nazotokine seeing I wasn’t interested in those puzzle-type animes even if the duration per episode for this show is about 8 minutes. So what prompted me to check this out? There is a pretty and busty lady on the promotional poster of the series! WTF???!!! Damn you advertising tactics! Even if I don’t understand what’s going on, at least I have a nice cutie to gawk at. Haha… Yeah, I don’t even understand the mysteries of my own horniness.

Episode 1
Tokine Amino works as the CEO’s secretary for a PR agency. She meets up with her colleagues who works at the front desk, Yoshie Yamazumi and Kyouka Minakami as they discuss some director of some anime company coming for a meeting. As Tokine readies the meeting room, she can’t wait to meet those big anime bigwigs. Suddenly she is transported to another dimension. Before her is a weird creature in a flying hat, Hacchin. Tokine isn’t impressed of what is happening and starts insulting this inter-dimensional pig. But Hacchin isn’t shocked at her displeasure. He tells her to listen or else risk getting stuck here. This world is called Quizun and she needs to solve riddles to get out of here. Or be stuck here forever. Tokine thought she could get right away in solving this puzzle of floating paintings but apparently there are more procedures to follow. Giving her some dick insignia (just kidding. Okay, in a very general and vague sense in might look like it) and making her wear some tight fitting futuristic outfit that showcases her boobs.

Episode 2
There’s a reason why she has to dress like this. This suit supposedly releases her latent potential that his world suppresses. Oh really? I thought it was for fanservice. Hacchin adds this suit reflects her mental state to adapt to this world and thus is from her own mind rather than his personal taste. Praising her own taste now, huh? Oh, did Hacchin mention there is a time limit? 5 minutes. Oh, since their talking was also included, she has 3 minutes left! As she gets cracking, it may seem the obvious words from the paintings’ space spell out as PEON. Wrong. Then she notices the title of the paintings do not match. When she matches them in the correct order, they spell OPEN. Correct! That moment of eureka has Tokine go into some sort of orgasmic face as some green gem appears from her chest. Hacchin grabs it and explains this Q-Stone is supposedly the stimulus found in the human brain when they experience intellectual pleasure of a eureka. He is pleased she is the chosen one and has never seen such a big Q-Stone before. As promised, he returns her to her world. The meeting goes on well. After work, her friends wonder about Tokine’s spacing out. Is it boyfriend problems or somebody asking her out? She forgot to check out the new anime that aired last night.

Episode 3
Tokine’s friends wonder if she is boyfriend problems again. Actually she is worried she is going to be real busy this afternoon. Her friends believe this means the CEO is counting on her and this gives her motivation. She manages to finish her work before midnight and catch the last train in time. As she browses through her Smartphone, suddenly she is transported to Quizun. Not again. However she isn’t alone and all the other passengers are also there. But since they aren’t the chosen ones, they are like lifeless zombies murmuring some word. So people who can’t use their talents in Quizun become part of the puzzle? With Hacchin appearing, looks like Tokine knows the drill. Luckily this time he gives her a proper signal to start for the time limit. Tokine looks at the diagram with lines and numbers she is supposed to connect in order.

Episode 4
Tokine notices the people are murmuring names of the train stations. She thought of connecting their physical attributes to make a human centipede but thankfully that’s not right. Her first step in guessing right is that the colours of the stations are linked to the panels. Taking the letters from the train stations, it spells out Tamagama. Wrong answer. With time running out, Tokine realizes she needs to connect them in the order of the stations and this time she spells it out correctly, Magatama. Another big Q-Stone from her. Gochisousama. She is returned to the train and is embarrassed when she realizes everybody is staring at her. Back home, she gets a message from Yoshie that she is moving next Saturday. Tokine is happy since she is moving closer to her and they can go drinking together more often.

Episode 5
Tokine and Kyouka meet up with Yoshie at her new place. It is still empty as they’re waiting for the delivery company to send the furniture and stuffs. Yoshie tells her boyfriend bought her this place because she wanted to be closer where she works. But because he is always busy, he is only home half the week. Her friends feel lonely on her behalf. When the delivery company is here, the girls are awed with the handsome and muscular Shinoharada. He has a couple of cute helpers too. While everyone is downstairs doing things, Tokine is alone in the room. When the helpers come in and she opens the window, she’s back in Quizun. She has always wanted to ask Hacchin this as he confirms that emotions from people with potential would trigger her to enter this world. So cut off all emotions if she doesn’t want to experience this anymore? She’d rather die than be a zombie. Tokine puts on her thinking cap to solve this quick as she got those helpers dragged into this world.

Episode 6
Noticing blocks of animals, she thought of spelling out their names but it doesn’t fit. If she’s spelling them in Japanese. They do in English. With the first step done, she now notices a cardinal direction with each direction representing a different colour. The blocks also have different colours in them. Since the helpers are murmuring north and south, she figures leaving behind blocks that represent the north and south colour and blocks in between them. At first the word didn’t make sense but then she realizes the answer is ‘cube’. There’s an explanation about how she arrives at this but I didn’t get it because I’m dumb. Because the final answer to derive that felt like random. Tokine is returned to the room and the moving went smoothly. Yoshie treats her friends to Korean BBQ. The girls talk about the upcoming company trip to Minakami Hotsprings. Kyouka freaked out at first because that’s the name of the hotspring her family runs.

Episode 7
The company trip is proceeding well. Everybody has fun. But the draw of this company trip is off course the hotsprings. The girls talk about the various and different hotsprings in the area (18 areas of them and they are all named after dragons). When they retire to their inn, they meet Kyouka’s little sister, Kyouko who isn’t too happy that big sister hasn’t come home for quite a while. After Kyouka introduces her to her colleagues, Kyouko introduces them to her friends, Hinata Takaragawa and Mamori Sonazawa. Because Tokine gets a call from the boss, she will join them later. Once done, Tokine can’t contain her excitement to dip in. But as she switches off the lights in the changing room, oh dear it’s back to Quizun. This time Hacchin is riding a dragon that attacks her! WTF?! I guess the pig must be tired of her past insults?

Episode 8
Hacchin is ignoring her more than usual and tells her to get solving! Tokine notices a pentagram with coloured lines as well as English alphabets. She also notices the 3 balls behind the dragon changing colour as it changes its speech pattern. First, she finds a pattern in its speech to having something in common. Translate into English words, they have ‘~ight’ in common. The correct word corresponds to the coloured balls with the coloured lines on the pentagram. At first she thought the answer was “Right” but it’s wrong! Oh, the irony. Then she notices the colours on the towel of the other girls’ which is supposed to correspond with the colours in the hexagram. Only one of them has the right combination so the correct answer is “Light”. With the puzzle solved, Hacchin quickly takes her Q-Stone and leaves. Not even a word to explain why he needs the stones. Yeah, it’s like he’s stealing it, huh? So Tokine screws all that and returns to enjoy the hotspring. One of her colleague has extra tickets to a pro-wrestling event nearby and since Tokine is a fan, I guess they’re going.

Episode 9
The girls enjoy the wrestling match as Kyouko mentions she will be visiting her sister next week. After visiting her new apartment, they head out to go watch a monster movie, Vajra Resurgence. As they enter the hall, the girls noticed a familiar face in the front seats, Natsuko Yanagisawa. They remember seeing her on the company trip and recalls she is a former cabaret girl who used her connections to get a job in the company. Because the man next to her seems familiar too (probably a board member of the company), the girls aren’t too please ‘witnessing’ a scandal. But they’re not going to let this distract and ruin their movie. Before the movie starts, a reminder to tell them to switch off their handphones. The moment Tokine does so, damn it’s back to Quizun. This time the entire audience are transported. Too many people so her guilt amplifies? However one of the audiences is able to move on her own: Natsuko. She even says hi!

Episode 10
Why is Tokine agitated that Natsuko knows her name? Don’t they work in the same company? When Hacchin appears, he recognizes Natsuko as she too is another chosen one who solved riddles. However Hacchin reveals her true name as Tokuyo Nazo and this makes Tokine laugh her ass off because it sounds like ‘solving a mystery’. This time Tokuyo is the one who is most agitated each time Tokine calls her that. They say 2 heads are better than one so the duo cooperate to solve this. They notice a time schedule for movies as well as the screen containing weird numbers, pictures and other information. First they draw the clues from the clapperboard. Its lines connect the numbers on the screen. They match it with the time on the movie schedule. Then they take the key words in those movie names which lead them to solve a word hidden on the screen (spoilers: “Cross”). Hacchin is pleased to get 2 Q-Stones for the price of one. When they return to the cinema, the girls witness the board guy freaking out that some fish got in his clothes?! Huh?! Is that some sexual innuendo there?

Episode 11
So the movie has this monster who is going to fight a vegetable family transforming into a mecha?! And they love this great move?! So great that this is Tokine’s fifth time?! Next day at work, the girls plan to visit the annual lighting display at Showa Memorial Park. Tokine jokes she used to come here with her family and boyfriend. Did she already break up with her boyfriend? Yeah, she is already over him… The show is hosted by Ein Hinosaku whom the girls recognize as the heroine of some tokusatsu movie. She is also a model and singer. Yoshie gets upset realizing this is the woman her boyfriend admires. Well, work hard to be like her then. The show begins and as Tokine gets excited to take photos with her handphone, f*ck this Quizun world again! This time a record number of people sucked in. The entire park! The puzzle comes in 2 panels, a big and small one with words, alphabets and numbers. Notice how the people are murmuring key words of events in past episodes?

Episode 12
Tokine realizes the words in a panel relates to answers in her previous quizzes. Once she is able to decipher that, she moves on to the next panel. Separating it via coded colours and turning it into a cube, following its outline reveals to be alphanumeric code. So by placing those codes as location on the panel, it spells out “Illumination”. But she is short of an answer as Hacchin reminds her it can be found at the bottom of the hotspring. A series of complex connections, Tokine is able to answer “Have a nice day”. As reward, Hacchin tells her about Q-Stone. As it consists of humans’ intellectual ecstasy, it builds up and has nowhere to go on Earth. Hence Quizun is somewhat manmade, another dimension for this energy to go. Then Quizun circulates that power and turns into different types of energy and sends it back to Earth and has different effects on people like good luck, purification and healing. Before Hacchin leaves, he tells her there will be a change in her soon. Next morning when she wakes up, she finds the sky like Quizun and Hacchin is beside her! Has the world merged or has Tokine become a quiz master like Hacchin?! Is this his present to her after all her effort in puzzle solving?!

Jeopardy! Spot Quiz!
Damn it was bad. The puzzles are hard to follow and the non-existing storyline just makes it worse. This makes puzzle anime series like Ryuugajou Nanana No Maizoukin and that Phi Brain series (which I didn’t watch) to be even better or even animes about people being sucked into another game world and stuck there such as Sword Art Online and Log Horizon to be way better than this crap. It was already as confusing as hell (the puzzles) and with that kind of ending, I don’t really even get it. Is it some sort of open ending up to viewers’ interpretation? Is that our puzzle for us? Oh heck. I don’t feel like solving it ever.

Although the puzzle seems simple enough, it was so simple that I couldn’t even solve a single one! Yeah… Most probably I am going to blame the short time duration for the puzzle solving because you know when a puzzle is time based, chances are there is going to be lots of pressure for you to come up with an answer. I don’t know. Maybe the Japanese’s minds and thinking are much different than their different counterparts. That is why they are able to come up with the most creative puzzles like the world renowned Sudoku. Not to say that the puzzles presented here are very Japanese cultural oriented either. So it may look simple to puzzle veterans but to non-Japanese, they are still a big mystery and when the answer is explained, you just feel dumb that you didn’t guess or look at it that way. Of course with Tokine as smart as her pretty looks and could make the right answer after a couple of guesses. Yeah, so accurate and right like as though she is reading out from the script. Uh huh. Time over. Time to solve this answer. Here, read this answer out.

If you really love simple puzzles that I suppose stimulate your mind albeit a little, be glad to know that there are more of such puzzles in the ending credits. I believe the answers are posted on the company’s website but I’m too lazy to check it out because I am already too lazy myself to try and answer them. Yeah, this time I am blaming that I couldn’t understand what the question is asking despite I can read the very simple hiragana and kanji on screen. An excuse not to crack my brains and start thinking to redeem myself that I would at least be able to solve 1 stinking puzzle in this anime. I decided to take the easy way out by not even trying so that I can have more negative points to write on this anime. Holy sh*t! I’m just a pure evil scumbag! At least my personality is easy to guess.

So while the puzzles are supposed to be the main draw, it feels really weird that Tokine has to be the unlucky one to be in the area to be sucked in to Quizun and solve it. It sounds as though she is the only smart person around. Yeah… Also, with Hacchin always being her host in Quizun, it feels like he is constantly bugging and harassing her to solve them. Fail and you strip naked and be my sex slave wife! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oops… Really. It feels more like a poor excuse for them to enter another dimension to solve puzzles for another lame excuse to get this Q-Stone. Although the Q-Stone’s purpose is explained, but Hacchin doesn’t tell us why the heck he needs to take it? I mean, he did say that energy from the human world flows here and then flows back there again. Is it all natural or does Hacchin help in the processing? All too vague. That is why sometimes I feel that the only reason for making Tokine solve a puzzle and materialize her Q-Stone is to add another layer of fanservice in addition to her humongous boobs and see her orgasmic face. Yeah…

To show that Tokine has some sort of personality instead of some fanservice personification to solve puzzles, they give her traits like being concerned when other people get sucked into Quizun. Yeah, if she fails, everyone gets stuck and it’s her fault! Something to really worry about. Sometimes she doesn’t solve a puzzle at first go. This is to show us she is not perfect but usually gets it on the second try. All this sure gives Tokine some character but it doesn’t impact on anything important.

Instead of racking my heads to think of the answer to the puzzles, I am far more interested in forming my own conspiracy theories. Like how Hacchin may just be a poker face avatar for some perverted stalker in another dimension, taking her Q-Stones for his wanking material! Same case for Natsuko because she too has the same potential and probably vital statistics as Tokine. What better way to get more wanking material with 2 beautiful babes for the price of one. I mean, why the heck introduce another character who isn’t related nor we shall care? Is it because watching Tokine solving the puzzle alone has become boring and we need another beautiful babe to help her out? And thus the only reasons why such busty babes have high intelligence is because those brains are store in the boobs! That’s right. So for all you jealous flat chests out there who keep arguing that those are just fats, not in this anime because I’m thinking that is where the additional brain cells are stored! Oh yeah! Viva boobs!

Other characters like Tokine’s friends don’t really matter because I thought if Natsuko can show that another person other than Tokine can enter Quizun, maybe her friends would join her and they solve one big puzzle together to end it with a bang? Didn’t happen. Looks like everybody in this world except Tokine and Natsuko are just dumb asses. Yeah, when they become part of the puzzle in Quizun, they look and sound like zombie retards or a broken tape recorder. Seriously.

As mentioned earlier, the beautiful busty babes are the one that drew me into watching this crap. Well, if there was something that looks good, the girls here do. At least they provide eye candy and my brain to go numb instead of trying to rack them. Get the pun? Rack my brains and those busty racks? Hahaha! Sorry. Other than that, everything else in the artwork looks pretty mediocre and Hacchin feels like a lazily thought up design concept or one that has been rejected. Uh huh. This pig/rabbit doesn’t even have a decent mouth or any facial expressions and if this saves animation work, yeah well, I’m sure it did. And Quizun as an alternate dimension filled with nothing but empty space and the most some coloured squares or cubes so that not much effort can be put in the background. After all, we’ll be too focused on the puzzles, right? Or Tokine’s twin peaks… This series is animated by Tengu Kobo and this is their debut and so far only anime.

At least in addition to nice looking girls, the opening and ending themes aren’t too bad either. Dimension Sky by Yuzu Fujisaki as the opener feels more like some sort of techno dance song with the heavy bass beat throughout the song. Destiny by Aki as the ending song sounds more like a generic pop music. I noticed something about the opening animation credits. I believe it is to fit the length of the episode proper so sometimes that opener can have different lengths from the usual 1.5 minutes to only a single minute or just 30 seconds.

Overall, if you want to really boost your mind power or do some mind training, this anime is not the answer. In fact it should be categorize into the ecchi category for obvious reasons. This is the only reason why you watch this anime and then be disappointed in the end. The puzzles feel second rate and something that non-Japanese or people who are not used to puzzles will quite understand. It is better off for you to do traditional puzzles like Sudoku instead. And yeah, there are better ecchi series out there. So it goes to show that puzzle genres do not mix well with ecchi because it just complicates things and your senses as well. You wanna fap to a good time but your brain starts to hurt… How difficult it is to understand that we just want to see some boobs and pantsu???!!! It’s not that hard, right???!!!

Oshiete! Galko-chan OVA

April 28, 2017

Got more puberty questions that you want to ask or seek to know? Don’t worry. Because there is more. At least one more episode. Oshiete! Galko-chan OVA is back to answer some of those questions that you are too shy to ask an adult, confide in your best friend, consult an expert or just too lazy to just Google or post it on Yahoo Answers. I guess with so many such questions, thus the OVA blows up to quadruple the running time of the TV series. Yup, 28 minutes! Get your pen and paper ready just in case…

Is Summer Vacation Real?
* A young girl is watching a movie (magical girl with glasses?) as she notices Galko enter. She has her own stereotype of this b*tch that she won’t understand this kind of movie. At the end, she thought she had fallen asleep but Galko is actually crying in deep tears! So amazing?! Such deep meaning. Little girl had to offer her tissue…
* A librarian notices Otako often borrowing books. He notes the usual subjects she reads like history. This makes him wonder if she has any friends. Then he sees a book on the topic of sex jokes. Maybe this is to tell some jokes to her friends?
* Galko is taking medication for her constipation. She thinks it is making her stomach stick out so she wears her old school uniform to hide it. The buttons come bursting out. I think it is because of her boobs… Then as she tries to eat spicy ramen, that is when she needs to go to the toilet. At this moment? After letting it all out, she finishes and enjoys the ramen.
* Otako texts Galko the need to work out her abs to help with her constipation. She tries sit-ups and the key is to lift enough till she can see her tummy. She can’t. Damn those boobs blocking!
* Galko is doing pedicure and painting her toenails when the delivery rings at her doorstep. This means she has to crawl all the way to the doorstep and the delivery guy is surprised to see this awkward scene. Like porn scene? Galko is glad to receive swabs that clean her belly button.
* Galko hangs out with Otako eating pizza. The latter explains how pepperoni pizza sometimes is a slang for big tits. But she quips Galko’s would be Morteau sausages. Too bad she doesn’t know what that kind of sausage is. This has Galko wonder why boys do not care about their own nipples.
* Galko wonders if both people wearing glasses will have difficulty kissing each other. They try testing it out but it got awkward so they drop it.
* They note Ojou is away for a family holiday. But they got a postcard from her from the North Pole. Do they have post offices there?
* Charao and his friends hang out together. A girl notices how close they are and starts fantasizing.
* Nikuko plays indoor football. Her opponents look down on her because she is fat. However Nikuko is able to move fast and scores! Sonic Meat?! Galko notes how some people who are big and fat are still fast. Just like hippos in real life. In fact, hippos are fast in real life too.

* Galko and Otako are invited to Ojou’s piano recital. When they show the invitation card, the receptionist suddenly calls the agents who then escort them to their seats. VIP treatment? As they watch Ojou play, she is sparkling with magic!
* The trio then have lunch together and Ojou calls curry udon. The rest wonder if this would ruin her beautiful dress. However she is eating quietly and with elegance. Magic sparkles too!
* Otako’s brother visits the shrine supposedly the area where some mecha movie he liked was filmed. He walks around but trips, exposing all the porn magazines in his bag. The miko priestess who is Galko’s sister, picks them all up for him. She isn’t offended since there are no pictures of penis or vagina.
* Agemi thinks Iinchou is the kind who doesn’t do homework and instead reads other books. Looking at the thick book she is reading she thinks smart people like her are on a different level. Iinchou was actually looking for a photo about World Heritage sites.
* Okako is on a journey trying to find out more about the occult. It leads her to a normal shrine. Nothing happening till she sees some muscle skull doll. She gets inspiration and plays rock music?!
* Charao’s girlfriend is at the lingerie store thinking she needs to take their relationship to the next level after Charao was bold enough to bring a condom. She is shocked at all the skimpy lingerie and the last person whom she want to meet, her sister is there doing her own lingerie research.
* Galko’s group, Iinchou’s group and Okako’s group all happen to bump into each other at the same time outside the karaoke box. They all go karaoke together. The more the merrier. You’d be surprise the types of songs some can sing.
* Kuseta is at a service and told to stop playing his handphone game although what he got was just a message. As he excuses himself, he trips and bruises his knee. Galko is there to help apply disinfection. When he tells her about the lecture he just got, she says adults too didn’t like getting lectured when they were kids. This makes Kuseta feel that he dislikes adults treating him like a kid (isn’t he one?) but if he is going to grow up to become that kind of adult, he doesn’t want to become an adult at all. Galko hugs him and hopes he won’t forget those feelings today. I think it would be extra memorable since the wind blows up Galko’s skirt. Yup. Definitely remembering today.
* Galko and friends go to bed excited about starting a new school term tomorrow. They look forward to talk with each other.

Is It True That Every Girl’s Dream Isn’t To Find The Perfect Guy But To Eat Without Getting Fat?
Safe to say that even after watching this OVA, I still won’t understand how girls think! Not in the most precise manner at least. I bet it is the same for every guy. So this OVA doesn’t really give much of an insight to the trouble of puberty and are more like short skits complied into one long episode. It is still entertaining nevertheless but if you are looking for some sort of lesson to learn, start looking elsewhere. I mean, we just learnt that we guys can’t understand girls, right? Please don’t kill me.

If you are familiar with the characters in the TV series, you would feel at home in this OVA since they are mostly relatively the same character as they are. Therefore don’t go judging these girls by their looks because Galko isn’t certainly a tanned blonde busty bimbo or Otako isn’t a nerdy loner or Ojou who isn’t just an airhead rich girl but possessing many talents. The other supporting characters also make their cameo but it feels they are just for slight distraction and little variety rather than anything that has a direct bearing on the overall. After all, this series isn’t just about the main trio and the other supporting characters are like other stereotypes you would find in your life.

The human mind and culture throughout history is a very weird and mysterious subject. There is nothing specific to define or studies that would have one glove size that fits all. Different people have different opinions based on the input they get and the environment they grew up in or influenced. So we might have stuck to the wrong perception of things for the rest of our entire lives. Like how Disney movies keep giving girls unrealistic expectations about dreams. Or how porn gives guys unrealistic ideas on what a girl really wants. Don’t worry, as long as we’re learning. Are we? Or do we need Galko to come teach us some?

At first I was going to give Watashi Ga Motete Dosunda the slip because from the promotional poster, it looked like another reverse harem and BL. It’s not really my cup of tea since I’m a straight guy. However taking a look at all the good looking people, my curiosity peaked a little so I went to read the synopsis. Our female lead is a fat and chubby fujoshi. Nothing to like about her at this point. Then when her favourite BL character dies, she goes into shock mode by locking herself in her room. Guess what? She did an ugly duckling transformation because she turned into a smoking hot girl! I know it’s literally WTF but here’s the deal. Now that she is so attractive, this gains the attraction of a handful of boys. They want to date her and thus always try to be close to her. However in her eyes, she sees them as only fodder for her BL fantasies! It’s like keeping her BL harem close to her, eh? So my begging question is, will she turn straight first or will the guys turn gay first? Oh, this I gotta see…

Episode 1
The girls are watching the guys playing volleyball. Kae Serinuma is a fujoshi as she starts fantasizing fellow classmates Yuusuke Igarashi and Nozomu Nanashima. Unfortunately Nanashima slams into her and knocks her out. She wakes up in the infirmary with her best friend, Amane “A-chan” Nakano who is also a fujoshi. They talk about their favourite BL topic especially Nanashima who looks like that Shion guy from Mirage Saga. Hayato Shinomiya shoos her out since she is looking fine to let another student use the bed. They might not like his obnoxious character but in BL land, the more obnoxious he acts, the hotter he gets. On her way back, Serinuma meets her senior, Asuma Mutsumi who shows concern about her accident. Back in class, Igarashi wants Nanashima to apologize for the accident but instead he says she provided a nice human cushion. Of course Serinuma doesn’t care if the hot guys treat her badly. So long she can fantasize about them, she’s alright. That night as she watches Mirage Saga, suddenly Shion gets killed off! The intense shock has her absent from school for a week! So when it’s time for mom and big brother Takurou to get the fatty out, they are shocked to see a total transformation. WHO THE F*CK IS THIS GORGEOUS BABE???!!! No Serinuma, the mirror isn’t broken. It’s really you. So you can bet when she returns to class (how did she find a fitting school uniform?), everyone is shocked to see this hot chick. Imagine their surprise to learn she is Serinuma. USO DESHOU?! Now you can see all the main guys attracted to her in their own ways. No more mistreatment, eh? When Igarashi wants to ask her out for a movie, the other guys won’t let him have his way. So they were going to ask her the same thing? I don’t know how but she somewhat agreed to go out with all of them. I guess she’s in for the BL fantasies.

A-chan helps Serinuma pick out a dress (why does she have really nice fitting dresses?) and she thinks it is time for Serinuma to hit a new genre called boyfriend. A-chan herself has a boyfriend but he doesn’t know she is an otaku so the challenge is not to let those guys know or else it is over. You can’t blame the girls for staring at the hot guys waiting together. Serinuma can stare at them forever. As they go see a movie, Serinuma tries to promise herself not to fantasize (so as not to leak her otaku behaviour) but couldn’t help do so. So she didn’t really watch the movie but was more of fantasizing the guys. Igarashi thought he could sneak her away to take a personal photo at the photo booth but Nanashima knows how he thinks and breaks them up. Even this scene can get BL arousal… At the end of the day as she is pale from trying to resist showing her BL urges, suddenly she hears an announcement that an anime shop is selling limited edition of Mirage Saga. At first she tries to hold it in but when there is only 1 left, she couldn’t take it anymore and rushes in to buy. When she comes out, she comes clean with the guys that she is an otaku and apologizes she blew their normal date. She was trying so hard to hide her flaws that she couldn’t enjoy herself but in the end she can’t lie to herself. However Mutsumi doesn’t see what is wrong and believes it is okay for her to have something she likes. He prefers to see her smile and happy. The other guys don’t want to lose out and also agree. So does this mean they’ll follow her to the next anime store? Oh… Oh well, as long as Serinuma is a happy girl.

Episode 2
Now that Serinuma’s body is lighter, she thinks she can do well in sports and doesn’t hesitate to help the girls’ football club when they seek her help for an upcoming match. But does she know football? Don’t worry. She’s a fan of Captain Tsubasa… But still she needs to practice. Igarashi would love to coach her as he is the captain of the boys’ team but since he is busy, he suggests Nanashima. Unfortunately Nanashima has a different set of opinion on Captain Tsubasa and with the friction between them, Nanashima drops out. Serinuma attends her first training. She didn’t know there is going to be a long warm up. Yeah, it literally zaps the strength out of her by the time actual practice begins. Nanashima hears the football girls thinking Serinuma sucks after all that practice. He tells them off to fix their attitude as they were the ones who sought her help. He goes to see her still practising. Because she still sucks (her curve kick was awful), he decides to help her out. During the match day, their side is a goal down and a couple more minutes to the end of stoppage time. Serinuma suggests an idea. When her teammate throws in the ball to her, it looked like she goofed up by kicking the ball in the wrong direction. The ball actually curved back into the opponent’s goal! Nanashima couldn’t contain his laughter as he finds this girl to be unbelievably hilarious and silly.

Serinuma is glad the summer vacation is near. She’s got all her events planned out till the teacher reminds her about her if she fails her tests. Supplementary classes for 2 weeks. So you see her going crazy trying to study multiple subjects at the same time. Mutsumi offers to coach her. The other guys don’t want to lose out and also want to be coached by him. In actual fact they don’t want to let him be alone with her. Because Nanashima and Shinomiya argue loudly, they are kicked out of the library. Same case too at the restaurant. Igarashi suggests studying at Serinuma’s home. She accepts as she was the one who sought for help. Now the problem to clean up her messy BL merchandise… Looks neat when the guys arrive. The guys are so hot that her mom even puts heavy makeup. So while Serinuma chastises her, the guys accidentally look around and found a few BL stuffs. Serinuma then reveals some of the BL stuffs she put away for today. She even shows them an altar for Shion! Yeah, they wonder why Nanashima is dead… They go with the flow by paying their respects to Shion. When Takurou hears his sister has male guests, he immediately barges in to warn them about her otaku habit. They already know. He then opens her closet filled with BL manga. Serinuma doesn’t appreciate all this. This is when Mutsumi kicks him out because they are in the midst of studying. The guys then help her carefully put back her manga. Serinuma is grateful for all Mutsumi has done. He gives everyone a good luck pencil. Thankfully Serinuma passes the tests. The guys want to hang out with her at the pool or other normal places but she has got otaku events set as top priority.

Episode 3
Serinuma’s class will be doing a cosplay café for the cultural festival. She volunteers to do the costumes for Igarashi and Nanashima. In addition to hearing Shinomiya’s class doing a play and he will be playing a princess, she too would like to do his costume. She also agrees to help out Mutsumi with his class exhibit. It’s going to get busy. She takes the measurements of the guys and each almost got their way if the others didn’t interrupt in time. Serinuma realizes she can’t handle too much work. The other guys offer to help. She wants to leave the costumes to them while she goes help Mutsumi. But Igarashi suggests the guys helping Mutsumi since sewing doesn’t sit with them. This makes Igarashi question what he is doing this for. On the day before the festival, Serinuma is so happy as she gets to see the guys wearing her costume. No doubt Nanashima is as Shion but Igarashi as Eren? Serinuma suggests everyone going around the festival together in their free time. However Igarashi puts his foot down. He doesn’t agree. He is done playing buddies with everyone. He confesses he likes her and wants to only be alone with her. With the other guys also stating their similar intentions, Mutsumi then suggests a schedule. That way everybody has a fair amount of time with her. Serinuma doesn’t even get a say in this…

First up is Nanashima. But it looks like she is using him to promote their cosplay café? Nanashima gets his face close enough to hers. Too bad Mutsumi breaks them up because it’s time. You don’t get an extra second from the tight schedule. Serinuma is overwhelmed when Mutsumi feeds her but it looks like it is Igarashi’s turn. At the Shinomiya’s play, he holds her hand. She can’t concentrate and blacks out. Finally it is Shinomiya’s turn and he thought of proving his manliness at the haunted house. However he is the one who is getting scared so much so he hugs her and has his face in her boobs. This has her screaming and running out. The other guys think the haunted house is that scary. Serinuma returns to A-chan, complaining she can’t take this anymore. All she wanted was to be watching from the side-lines but now she is like the main character of an otome game story. As she ponders alone, a few boys try to hit on her. She accidentally punches one of them and runs. They catch her and before you know it, Igarashi and co come to her rescue to beat up those jerks. A big brawl fest. It stops when Serinuma yells at the top of her voice to stop. The guys feel sorry for what she had to go through. Igarashi apologizes for rushing things and they should take it slowly. Everyone agrees. So for the bonfire dance at the end, the guys don’t want to bug her and dance among themselves. Good fodder for Serinuma and A-chan’s BL fantasies to run wild. Best place ever!

Episode 4
Nanashima suggests doing a Christmas party on the eve. However Serinuma already has plans to go to the Comiket. And she’s not budging from this. She would be happy if they all could come. Happy is the winning word. Therefore they agree to go with her and have a party on the way back. Little do they know they hell they will experience on that day. They have to wake up 5 in the morning still groggy to take the train and then wait in the crowded line out in the cold for 2 hours just to enter! When the guys split up to get the manga she wants, many girls stare at them with glee. Can’t resist pairing those hot guys, right? As Serinuma is waiting outside, a photographer starts taking photos of her. This freaks her out despite she tells him she isn’t a cosplayer but he continues to snap anyway. He is then stopped by this handsome cosplayer, Sebastian (temporary name because Kuroshitsuji look-a-like) and also earn the ire of other photographers because his actions are giving them a bad name. He goes away and Serinuma is infatuated with Sebastian. As the guys return, they’re in for a shock because Sebastian kisses Serinuma’s hand before leaving. She explains the misunderstanding. On the way back to the party, the guys have no more energy and are practically dead. Only Serinuma is the one singing and partying like mad. Moe power?

Serinuma is surprised to see Sebastian in school. Furthermore, Shima Nishina is a girl! Why am I not surprised? Serinuma quickly clicks with her since she is also into BL. She introduces them to the guys who are obviously shock as well. But at least they can be at ease that the hand kiss didn’t count. Really? Oh, she has lots more female admirers than the guys. Insult? Not sure if they’re starting to realize some sort of lesbianism between them because when Nishina invites Serinuma to her home to talk about Mirage Saga all night long, the other guys won’t lose out and also want to come. They’re in for more shock because she lives in a mansion! A huge mansion! She has rooms specifically for figurines, clothes and even manga! Guess what? She also has her own doujin circle and draws her own doujin! OMFG! Is there anything this girl can’t do?! Like Nanashima says, this girl is so perfect like as though she is a walking life hack. He doesn’t want to lose out to her and draws a picture of Shion. It sucks. However Serinuma loves it! Feel better? But when the other guys draw horrible renditions of Shion and Serinuma still loves it, it dawned to us that she will love anything Shion related. Nishina has the guys promised her they would do something if she allowed them into her home. They have to pose together while she takes pictures of them for BL references! The guys feel awkward after a while so the girls demonstrate. While Serinuma feels embarrassed shortly, Nishina takes this chance to kiss her lips! Oh dear! That’s the last straw for the guys. Nishina says that kiss wasn’t a joke and warns them that if they will have a problem if don’t take her seriously. She’s serious. Whatever the case, Serinuma’s first kiss went to a handsome girl…

Episode 5
Although Nishina said it was just a joke, Serinuma can’t take her mind off the kiss. There is this Valentine design collaboration in which Serinuma wants to enter and win for its prizes that include the designer’s signature. Nishina suggests they make it together and also invite the guys to make them watch chocolates they will never get… Wicked… Serinuma makes a nice 2D illustration of Shion on a chocolate but feels it is not good enough. But trying out 3D is worse. She can’t seem to get it right. Igarashi is suspicious of Nishina getting too close to Serinuma like as though she has an ulterior motive. Nishina admits she likes cute things. Does this mean she is only after her looks? However the guys can’t say for themselves because they too like Serinuma because of her looks. After 73 hours… Serinuma finally nails it… Not! WTF is this Picasso model?! Nishina wants her to submit using her own Shion 3D model and put it in her name as the deadline is tomorrow. However Serinuma decides to send her own because she has put her heart and soul. At least with the many leftover chocolates, she gives it to the guys. Igarashi realizes he might have liked Serinuma based on her looks but now it is different. He likes her personality too. But this will be soon put to the test because Serinuma is back to being fat again!!! Holy cow!!! I guess she ate the remaining chocolates, huh?! This is of course a great shock to the other guys so Nanashima and Shinomiya really want her to get back to her beautiful shape. However it hits a little snag since Nishina is trying to feed and fatten her up as she loves her being plump and chubby!

Even more shock because Serinuma’s chocolate design won a special award and she has to attend a special ceremony that has many of her favourite celebrities attending. And so begins the quest to slim down. Normal physical workout doesn’t work. Still fat but only more depressed. Then they do this otagei dance. It is really fun and addictive till she sprains her back. Before they start pointing fingers, Mutsumi calms the warring sides and tells them it is ultimately Serinuma’s wish if she wants to continue with this. For the next few days, Nishina continues to be by her side at every chance so much so Serinuma might be developing some sort of phobia. So Igarashi takes her away to talk. He realizes she is still the same girl who is bright and positive and never gives up. Nanashima couldn’t believe him and thinks he has gone bonkers that Igarashi is truly in love with Serinuma the way she is and looks now. This time the guys has devised a ‘good’ plan for her to lose weight fast. There is a point card system in which the more kilograms she lose, the more risqué BL stuff they will do before her! From holding hands to kiss on the forehead! Better burn those calories right now! In no time, Serinuma is her slim beautiful self again and the guys despite almost dried out are happy this is worth it. But there is one more catch. Nishina added another final motivation to the point card. An achievement bonus for Igarashi and Nanashima to kiss! Now come on, show us that beautiful spirit of yours! Serinuma’s waiting… Igarashi might have gone crazy preparing to do it but Nanashima can’t escape… NNOOoooOOOOoooOOooOOoOOOOoooo!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 6
Serinuma is spacing out that. Hmm… She’s not sick. She finally admits she has found someone special to her. WHO IS IT?! It’s… It’s… It’s Akane from Katchu Ranbu. Oh. An anime character… Since Nishina also likes this anime, they instantly click and become even more best of friends. Since the guys don’t quite catch it all, they let them watch its trailer. Cool? More squealing that would make your hair stand at ends till their opinion differs on who is uke and seme. Then it turns into a battlefield and since they won’t accept the other’s opinion, they now hate each other and won’t speak! And the guys still don’t get what is happening. When A-chan learns about this, she explains the terrifying divide. Since Serinuma and Nishina continue to avoid each other, it’s up to the guys to fix things. First they set things up and make it sound like they need their help. So when both sides ‘coincidentally’ meet, they are forced to talk it over at the café. But since they’re still not talking, the guys start talking how good the anime is. Everything seems to be going well if only Shinomiya didn’t say the taboo word. Back to world war again. The girls decide to settle this via challenge. They will each write of fan fiction of the anime and post it on the same site. The one who gets the most hits wins and the loser must acknowledge the other’s pairing. Igarashi wonders if Nishina has thought through about this because there is a chance they might never be friends again. Not like it matters to him because less one rivalry will be better.

Flashback shows Nishina loves anything beautiful. However she saw the ‘ugly’ side of the world when kids badmouthed about her being from a rich family, etc. It wasn’t the kind of beauty she wanted. Since Serinuma is having it tough writing her story, Shinomiya thought he could be a smart ass as he goes to tell Nishina to back down as she is an experienced writer and this is just a waste of time. This triggers Nishina as she pins him to the wall and tells him off while other girls watch in glee over this feminism domination. So the duel come and go. Nishina wins. She is laughing on her high horse and is forcing Serinuma to admit she lost. Do you have the heart to after seeing Serinuma’s tears? Although Serinuma runs away like a child and won’t admit it. Igarashi reminds Nishina if she likes all things beautiful, is making a girl cry beautiful? Food for thought. More flashbacks on Nishina. When she enrolled in this public school, she realized it was no different because students still badmouth about her rich status. Then she sees fat Serinuma crashing her fat body into those girls. It was beautiful! It was?! When she had her first doujin convention, it was Serinuma who bought up all her volumes and even thanked her via email. Nishina tried to find her in school but couldn’t because at that time she was already slimmed down. She realizes she doesn’t want to lose this beautiful girl over something this trivial. The guys are consoling Serinuma at a café. She won’t pick up a call from Nishina. Igarashi had to secretly tell her where they are. When she arrives, she hears Serinuma admitting she still loves Nishina’s stories. In turn, Nishina also admits she likes her stories. Time for a girly emotional hug and reconciliation. This means they’re on good terms, right? Even better, they accept their characters are both versatile. Both can do uke and seme. If peace was this easy…

Episode 7
This Saturday will be the anniversary of the Lord Sametora’s death. He was the character that the lord in Katchu Ranbu was modelled after. Serinuma wants to make a pilgrimage there and Nishina agrees to come along. However the guys are suspicious because this means they have to spend the night together. Well, it’s not like the guys are interested in this historical piece, right? On the contrary, Mutsumi is very much interested and the other guys are ‘interested’ as well. They’re coming. We’ve got the usual hotspring fanservice but the kind that the girls want to peek at what the guys are doing and the pillow fight. Igarashi slips and falls over Serinuma. This leads the rest to give him an extreme pillow beat down. Next day, they pay a visit to the site for the ritual. Lots of young similar girls too. They’re all crying… For real… The guys can’t really understand what the girls are seeing. Uh huh. Praying and crying at Sametora’s grave for 30 minutes? It’s insane! So while they stop for lunch, Mutsumi tells of a story about Sametora’s head that was buried on a nearby island. Sounds like a ghost story. It revs up the girls to visit the island. They go in swan boats and since it can only take pairs, rock-scissors-paper and no grudges. Igarashi is the lucky guy ending up with Serinuma. Nanashima and Nishina are full of despair. They can’t rest thinking something fishy is up with the duo and try to ram their boat. Suddenly a storm occurs and they get sucked in by a whirlpool. This is a lake, you know.

They wake up on the shore but some are separated. Nanashima isn’t breathing and the only way is… Mouth to mouth! Igarashi, your job… Nishina can’t stop taking pictures… Meanwhile Mutsumi finds Serinuma unconscious and thinks of giving mouth to mouth. That won’t be necessary as she revives and spits water in his face. Though both sides call out to each other, they can never seem to meet. Igarashi’s side realizes they’ve been walking in circles, coming back to the same spot even though they have been walking in a straight line. Creepy… They are picked up by an old man to his hut. Serinuma is starting to burn up so Mutsumi conveniently takes shelter in a nearby hut. Her condition is getting worse so he is forced to take off their clothes and share body warmth. Once she is back to normal condition, he puts back on her clothes. She never realized anything. Nothing scandalous. What a disappointment. Serinuma remembers she was dreaming being hugged by a fuzzy cat. When the windows start breaking, they run. It seems the spirit of Sametora is going to kill them. Likewise, the old man is also a spirit and is out for vengeance. It gets ridiculous because our kids luckily have a small charm to protect themselves and also release some super anime power move to fight back. Sametora is seething in anger and that is when Serinuma disagrees about him being a malevolent person but one who is cool and filled with love, the reason why people still hold a memorial for him. Sametora feels at ease and passes on. Everything turns out to be the store owner accidentally serving them poison mushrooms that caused hallucinations. Everything was just an illusion. Except Igarashi’s mouth to mouth. Pictures as proof! But was it really a hallucination? Because Mutsumi notices the charm all worn out.

Episode 8
Nanashima realizes he is falling behind the competition. Everybody seems to have gotten closer to Serinuma. Nanashima realizes his worth was his Shion look-a-like but with Akane taking the spotlight, he’s got nothing left. Everyone learns Serinuma is taking up a part time job because she used up all her allowance and advance for that pilgrimage. She’s trying to save for the upcoming events of Katchu Ranbu. As she will be auditioning for a job at Usami Land, this means her entourage will also be trying their hands in landing a job. Serinuma got the job of a live magical girl stage show called Puri Moon Show. The rest blatantly lie through their teeth that they know about this show when it is obvious they don’t. Except for Nanashima who genuinely knows about it and even the dance moves because he does it all the time with his little sister, Kirari who is a big fan of this series. So naturally he gets the job with Serinuma (the rest landed other jobs around the park instead) and he relishes doing training with her every day. Things are going great till he falls sick during practice. Serinuma brings him back to his home. Kirari thought Serinuma is onii-chan’s girlfriend as we get to know her buranko status because nobody but her will marry her onii-chan! When Igarashi heard about Nanashima being taken home, he rushes down there fearing the worst. Because it is already happening. Nanashima trying to rape Serinuma???!!! OMG! He’s got his arms wrapped around her body and trying to go for a kiss!!! Igarashi enters in time to punch him away. Scared Serinuma runs out and never returned. Igarashi returns to grill Nanashima but obviously he is still in dream land as he hugs Igarashi thinking he is a girl! Once he is wakened up and told what happened, Nanashima knows he is in deep sh*t.

Serinuma has not turned up in class or even practice for the next few days. It is believed she is out with a cold. Nanashima knows it is his fault and tries to contact Serinuma but she doesn’t reply. He thinks she doesn’t want to see him anymore after that horrifying incident. He finally decides to go see her but since she doesn’t want to see him in this pathetic state of hers, he starts yelling from outside her window. He is really sorry for what happened but he hopes she could come because Kirari is really looking forward to tomorrow’s performance. A lame typical kiddie drawing of Puri Moon Show from Kirari proves to be the turning point. She turns up although she still has reservations about Nanashima. As the play begins, a group of rowdy fans hog the front stage and to a point harassing those on stage and annoying other audiences. This is when Nanashima decides to intervene by teaming up with Serinuma to get rid of the ‘real villains’. This isn’t in the script. With Igarashi also adlibbing to their act, the crowd cheers them on to dispose the baddies. It is also at this point Serinuma made her peace with Nanashima. For the dance routine, one of the actresses sprained her ankle during that rowdy commotion. Nanashima volunteers to cover for her since he knows the move. The dance was brilliant and a success. Backstage, everyone else teases how lame Nanashima is in that girly clothing. Even he himself realizes it is lame and perhaps the reason he is behind everyone else. However Serinuma thought Nanashima was cool today and her perception of boys changed a little. They might be scary but can be dependable.

Episode 9
The gang is here at the beach courtesy of Nishina inviting them to stay at her beach house. Shinomiya somewhat regrets coming here because he isn’t the outdoor kind and realizes how scrawny his body is. But I’m sure he is thanking his stars that he came since he gets to see Serinuma in her cute swimsuit as well as pairing up with her to learn body surfing. When other girls swoon over Igarashi and Nanashima being cool surfing, Shinomiya gets desperate to show off. Looks pathetic but he is able to at least stand on the surfboard. That is, until he crashes and lands his face in Serinuma’s boobs! Scandalous! Shinomiya profusely apologizes but Serinuma forgives him. I guess if she has pardoned him, there is no reason for Nanashima to stay mad at him. Nearby, a group of jerks are leering at girls. Nishina quickly takes Serinuma out as Nanashima and Igarashi confront and warn them. When they try to get physical, Mutsumi stops them with his finger! You better back off now! Have you seen this guy mad? This makes Shinomiya realize his worthlessness. How can he compete with these guys? While making BBQ, Shinomiya spots a snake crawling near Serinuma. He tries to save her but ends up spilling all the food. He feels ashamed of this mess and runs home. Unfortunately he ran in the wrong direction and only deeper into the mountains. Yeah, tripping on a tree root only makes him feel more miserable. Should have stayed home? As it is getting dark, Serinuma is worried and wants to go find him. The guys think he’ll come back but Serinuma knows Shinomiya is afraid of the dark and goes off to find him herself. Well, I guess you guys have to come along too.

Oddly, Nanashima is afraid of heights as he is holding up the traffic on a wooden suspension bridge! After Serinuma reaches the other end, the bridge’s rope snaps. Don’t worry. The chasm is only a few meters deep. And they make it sound like it was so high… They decide to meet up in the abandoned hotel ahead. Serinuma finds Shinomiya tangled in vines. How the f*ck did he end up like that?! But it only served as good fanservice for Serinuma. Tentacles + boy = great BL fanservice! After she untangles him, it starts to rain. They take shelter in the abandoned hotel. They start freaking out because they hear ghostly phenomena. Shinomiya realizes how big an idiot himself is. Serinuma is trying to calm him down knowing he hates scary stuffs but he could feel her hand shaking when doing so. He vows to protect her. It is revealed this ghostly prank is by those jerks and they’re laughing at this pathetic scene. This is their hideout. Because they view Shinomiya as weak, they toss him aside while they prepare to have fun with Serinuma. Shinomiya then kicks one of them in the crotch before taking Serinuma and run. Thankfully Nanashima and co have arrived and those jerks are going to get a beat down for forgetting the warning. Shinomiya apologizes to everyone for causing trouble but they forgive him since they are already used to his freak outs. Shinomiya may not be as strong as them but he still wants Serinuma for himself. Cue for pathetic bad luck because this time he got his leg stuck in the drain. How in the world… But Serinuma and Nishina love it because of the klutz appeal.

Episode 10
Mutsumi found a treasure map in his clubroom and hopes everyone can go treasure hunting with him. Well, nobody is interested. Till Serinuma wants to go. Then everybody wants to go now because they can’t let him be with her. This pattern is getting too predictable. Later Nishina asks the other guys if Mutsumi seriously like Serinuma because they’ve been ‘competing’ but she doesn’t feel such vibes from him. It makes them question why he is doing all this for. As the gang reach the cave, the boys head in first. Igarashi asks Serinuma straight if he likes Serinuma. Yes. He likes everybody too! Wow. That makes him sound gay. But when asks if he likes her romantically, it’s that retarded face. They lost him there. After the girls join them, the bats on the ceiling freak them out. Nanashima thought Serinuma is cowering in the darkness and hugs her. Turns out to be Shinomiya. Gay! Then they realize Serinuma and Mutsumi aren’t around. Mutsumi is paralyzed in the darkness because of a prank that left him trapped in a storeroom for the entire night! When she takes his hand, he feels her warmth and then unwittingly hugs her. When they discover the treasure, it is so obvious like as though someone set this up. True enough, inside is a note indicating it is a prank. But this note is written by Mutsumi? Kazuma Mutsumi. His older brother. Oh… You thought that was over with, right? Back in school, Kazuma becomes a trainee teacher in Serinuma’s class!

So the brothers meet during recess and because there is a lot of physical contact with them, it is today’s BL fodder for the girls. Apparently Kazuma forgot he set up the prank and when he does remember, he laughs wildly that it took 3 years for somebody to fall for it! They wonder if Kazuma is a good big brother because sometimes he gives off that halo vibe. Then Kazuma admits he is bisexual. He flirts with Nanashima! But when he turns to Serinuma, Mutsumi loses his cool to remind him recess is over. Kazuma becomes a popular teacher with boys and girls in just a few days. One day, he spots Serinuma coming out from an anime shop. They have lunch together as Serinuma finds out he was the one who locked Mutsumi in the storeroom prank. She tells him the trauma it gave him that he hugged her but praises him as the non-assertive type who has helped her a lot. Next day in school, Kazuma sees Serinuma cleaning up the clubroom. He decide to give her a Mirage Saga box collaboration he had won in an arcade years ago. Look at Serinuma’s retarding face… She wants it! Her excitement has her bump into things and the box on the shelf almost fall on her had not Kazuma pull her into his arms. That is when he starts to touch her face and claims how cute she is. Luckily Mutsumi whacks a book over his head and warns him on making a move on a student. Hey. Have you ever seen Mutsumi this mad? Kazuma then challenges him. It won’t be a problem to pursue Serinuma after his term ends, right? Oh yes there is. Mutsumi proclaims Serinuma is his girlfriend!

Episode 11
Apparently the others were eavesdropping as they barge in to protest. Kazuma covers for him that he was just protecting Serinuma. When Nanashima challenges Kazuma, the latter starts flirting with him! With all the reaction, Kazuma now knows where everyone stands as he blurts out all of them are head over heels for Serinuma. As Kazuma isn’t a full teacher yet, he is serious in pursuing Serinuma. However she tells him her waifu is Shion. The rest feel he is still dangerous and the need to protect Serinuma. Kazuma doesn’t mind being her second waifu. Sorry, that’s Akane’s spot. In fact she has 16 waifus! Shinomiya distracts Serinuma that her friends is calling. After that, Kazuma blackmails him with a photo of him dressed up as a princess! He kisses the photo! This just destroys Shinomiya. In class, Kazuma gives a quiz and who answers wrongly will have to kiss him! Thus he targets Serinuma and gives a hard question. Igarashi takes the fall by answering wrongly. He is willing to be kissed by him but gets flicked on the head. Kazuma assures he won’t steal him from Nanashima who is looking all too intense. This gives the entire class the wrong idea the guys are dating! Now they’re destroyed. It’s Nishina’s turn. But after a day, she returns destroyed. It seems Kazuma read aloud a favourite self-published book of her favourite author. They have no choice but to request Mutsumi’s help. Heck, they force him.

So Mutsumi confronts Kazuma and tell him to stop making passes at Serinuma. Kazuma insists he is serious about her. Then he makes his underhanded move by locking him up in the locker! The darkness paralyzes him as he remembers how they were fighting over some castle model and Kazuma who always gets what he wants locked him up in the storeroom for it. The rest manage to free Mutsumi. But at this point he is contemplating of doing nothing because if Kazuma is serious instead of playing around, there’s nothing he could do about it for his brother’s happiness, right? Kazuma then makes an announcement via PA challenging his little brother to a duel. A card game called Guard the Castle that Serinuma is a big fan of. Kazuma is giving Mutsumi a last chance to defend something he wants to get his hands on. Mutsumi is in a dilemma whether to challenge him. When Serinuma talks to him and says if he doesn’t want that thing and just give it to big brother then, all the more reason Mutsumi is going to defeat his brother. So the card game begins and nobody except the brothers and Serinuma knows what the hell is going on. Yeah. Whatever. Just cheer! It looked like Mutsumi is losing but he pulls off a move Kazuma never thought he would and wins the game. Yeah. Whatever. Just cheer! The brothers reconcile and give each other a big hug. Nobody knows what’s happening. Yeah. Whatever. Just cheer! In the aftermath when Serinuma asks what was it that he didn’t want to give to Kazuma so badly, Mutsumi pats her head and confesses he likes her. This sends alarming bells to the rest because they’ve got another enemy to defeat!

Episode 12
Luckily Serinuma didn’t hear at first go. Mutsumi is about to repeat his words but the rest take him away. So when they confront him about it, he tells it straight in their faces he likes Serinuma. Thanks to Kazuma, he is able to realize his love for Serinuma. When they oppose, he questions them, why not? Because if all of them likes Serinuma, then they all should tell her their feelings! Well, he’s got a point. So for the next few scenes, everyone is trying to cut off Mutsumi from Serinuma like keeping tabs on him and even sneakily blocking Mutsumi’s contacts from Serinuma’s handphone. However that guy is smart. When he gives them the slip, he uses the PA system to broadcast like his brother did. This time he tells Serinuma to come to the rooftop afterwards. Once more the gang confronts him. Mutsumi doesn’t understand why they are so against this. Everyone is free to tell her how they feel. He won’t stop them so they should not stop him. Anyone interested to confess to her is free to come to the rooftop. Period. So everybody is deeply thinking if they will be the one and of course worried by doing so they won’t get to see her smile again. Finally the appointed date, everyone confesses they like her and would love to go out with her. Serinuma is then seen running into A-chan’s home all panicky. She told he what happened although they don’t require an answer immediately but just want to let her know how they really feel. Because they look serious, she too must take this seriously. So no BL thoughts on them, please. With A-chan suggesting if this was an otome game, this gives Serinuma an idea. She would like to date them for a day and at the end of it she will give her answer. Okay. Sounds fair. The battle is on.

Igarashi goes first as he takes her to the aquarium. She notes he is engaging and very considerate. At the Ferris Wheel, he says embarrassing things like “I love you”. Next is Nanashima. He takes her to an amusement park. He knows how to have fun and soothe a lost kid. Shinomiya brings her to an alpaca farm. This guy is clumsy and has an alpaca biting his hair! He might be the kind of guy whom you can’t leave alone but can also be reliable at times. For Nishina’s turn, she flies Serinuma to a classy restaurant in Okinawa and they fantasize about BL stuffs. Finally it’s Mutsumi’s turn. Ever the history freak, he takes her visiting various historical places. He makes a wish for them to stay together forever. He thanks her for making him realize this special feelings of his. Of course now the real headache comes because Serinuma as expected cannot pick one out as each has their own unique charms. She feels like there is something missing. Then something hits her. The D-Day is here. Everyone makes peace that no grudges will be held to whoever Serinuma chooses. So who will it be? The person that will be special to her is… Drum rolls please… That person is… Shion!!! Last night she saw the announcement that they are making another season of this so this means they are bringing him back to life, right?! She can’t wait for it to happen and runs off to some event. The left are left hanging and in shock but they chase after her for an answer.

Friendzoned Forever!
Also I want to think… Watashi Ga Motete No Wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera Ga Warui! “I’m famous no matter how you think about it, it is all your fault!”. Yeah, that somewhat sums up the relationship point of view of Serinuma and the rest of her harem. At least if she ever realizes it. I didn’t really expect to enjoy this series and it was lot of fun till the end. Despite the cliché theme of the guys trying to appeal and get the girl, it doesn’t feel much like a real reverse harem anime. It is more suited as a romantic comedy instead. The typical ending even for a reverse harem series was expected although I didn’t see it was Shion because that fictional guy was dead. So this means if Mirage Saga can get another season, will we get another season for this anime and watch more of their antics to win Serinuma’s heart?

The story and plot might feel almost the same. But somehow I never got tired of it is it because that I myself have this wishful thinking of landing a smoking hot anime babe? Thus you can see this pattern in many of the episodes. Serinuma wants something or to attend an event. The guys not being hardcore otakus like her aren’t really interested. However one of them wants to accompany her for some reason and because the rest deem it ‘too dangerous’ for them to be alone, they also volunteer to tag along. And hence the so called ‘plot’ for the guys to make their move to appeal to Serinuma. In the end, it all goes back to square one with nothing much changed. Rinse and repeat.

Status quo seems to be the reason why the relationship between the characters can stay so for a very long time as far as this series is concerned. Basically there is a hot competition among the guys (and a girl) to be Serinuma’s significant other. But that is where the problem lies. None is like trying to make the bold move to do anything to steal her heart. Well, there are a handful of moments but you can bet that the rest will be breathing down your neck like the grim reaper coming to get your soul. Therefore, it is like they’re biding their time waiting for something really drastic to happen before they might take some real action. Thus when outsiders like Kazuma enter the fray and increase the competition, they naturally form a temporary alliance to kick him out and maintain their status quo. I know you might be questioning if they really want Serinuma that bad, shouldn’t they take some sort of decisive action to make her his? Aside the backlash from the rest, I believe maintaining status quo is the best option because nothing has been decided yet. That includes Serinuma not hating or discarding them as part of her groupie. Therefore the chances of staying and doing things together are much better than becoming an official couple.

A big part of this status quo is also due to Serinuma’s dense and cluelessness. She does not see the guys as mere boyfriend potentials. They are all just helpful friends. That’s right. Sorry to break it to you guys. All of you are just friendzone. Always. I am pretty sure that she isn’t a devilish person who has ulterior motives in taking the advantage of the guys (except as fodder for her BL fantasies). Because you see her innocent and genuinely happy when she seeks help or when the guys offer to help out. She never thinks that there could be more implications to it. As proof in the past, there are a few instances when the guys feel a little impatient and did rush a little things and this freaked her out and shook her up badly. Hence instead of rushing into things, let’s just take things slowly and build things up step by step. We’ll cross the bridge when we get to it. After all for now, it is obvious that she believes Shion is her first waifu, right? Though she does take some serious time contemplating the issue (albeit not much), she will eventually return to her BL roots. After all, she is the kind of princess who loves hiding in the corner watching 2 princes smooching! At least, that is how she describes it.

Talking about the characters, they are quite likeable although they might be cliché stereotypes at least for a reverse harem. In addition to the dense hardcore otaku female lead, we have the mature and composed guy, the hot headed guy, the bratty junior and the airhead laidback senior. Not forgetting the devilishly scheming lesbian. It’s like to give variety to instead of guys just chasing after Serinuma, they put a girl interested in her too and sometimes her partner in crime because all is fair in love and war, right?

I want to point out that sometimes I feel that Igarashi and Mutsumi’s character at times overlap because of their behaviour of being the calm and reasonable ones of the group. However I sometimes have this feeling deep inside that Mutsumi might be a lot more dangerous as he seems because he might just be putting up a dense act and playing dumb. I mean, does he seriously think of Serinuma nothing more than just a junior history club member? Because when it comes to competing for Serinuma, this guy seems to be the least likely threat because his face always pops up that ‘what is love’ thingy. Like it never occurred to him it might be love. Then of course towards the end, it proves Mutsumi might be an airhead after all because he starts thinking what Serinuma is to him. Then he becomes the biggest threat to the rest. From last place usurping the rest to take the lead. That’s pretty dangerous alright. Therefore his airhead is both a strength and weakness when it comes down to this. After all, he is the only male who has treated Serinuma the same as she was when she was plump and heavy. It is also thanks to his honest to goodness character that enables everyone to take action rather than maintaining status quo. Even though the results still remain the same, but hey, at least they tried. It makes Mutsumi even more respectable and cool because he wasn’t just being selfish in wanting Serinuma to be only his. He might not see the rest as rivals but at least he is giving them a chance too. In short, all of them here has Serinuma to thank for because she is the one who brought them all together doing a bunch of stuff and antics.

With Serinuma looking pretty attractive in her slim figure, it makes me wonder why the rest of the boys in the school do not drool or fight for her. Logically it will be like too many cooks spoil the soup and it would be redundant to have a reverse harem anime with so many and literally every boy in school chasing after her. And perhaps behind the scenes that we don’t see, Igarashi and co are somewhat making sure that no other boys can join this club. If not, could this mean that Igarashi, Nanashima and Shinomiya are sexist? Because despite the boys being shocked and awe at her transformation, they don’t really see them falling in love immediately with her. But these trio are like suddenly they want to date her. And when she is back to being fat for a while, although still interested in her but not as motivated as before. Isn’t that judging a book by its cover? I know it is for the plot but I don’t blame them. I’m like that too, a sucker for a pretty face.

So the only person who could ever hate Serinuma with a grudge is her brother Takurou. It is only natural to expect this from siblings. But doesn’t that make him the ‘bad guy’ of this series? Because with Serinuma being so beautiful and hot, at least those who are not involved have no feelings whatsoever but this guy sometimes can be seen trying to bring her down in front of the rest. Not too sure if he is trying to be a saint thinking he is saving them from something unwanted but I guess it is better their relationship to be somewhat this way. Because it would be hell of a confusing if Takurou loves Serinuma and now you have the problem of incest thrown in! Holy sh*t! I think they should have made it that way too! And of course the other person who might dislike Serinuma is Kirari. But that is only if somebody tries to steal her onii-chan away. Last but not least is Kazuma. Sometimes I am thinking he is purposely making all those ambiguous moves just to push his brother forward. Because he is such a cool and charismatic person, I can’t tell if he is acting or true to his own feelings. Thankfully he isn’t officially part of the group chasing after Serinuma because this guy’s level is so high that they’ll be blown away to bits and eating dust. As we have seen, you can’t beat this guy with mere cheap and poor thought out tactics.

In line with the beauty of outward appearance theme of this anime, it is no surprise that the characters are all drawn to their bishonen and bishoujo looks. Almost everybody looks so damn hot and beautiful. So that’s why when Serinuma is in her fatty version, you could say it was really a turn off. Masturbation level extreme! After all the years of conditioning on what beauty is supposed to be, it makes us even more compel to prefer the slim Serinuma compared to her chubby version. The physical obvious is so vastly different. Look, I’m not shaming Serinuma when she’s fat. But since when is preference something sexist? Animated by Brain’s Base who also did a number of series with beautiful people like Kurenai, Kamigami No Asobi, Endride, Natsume No Yuujinchou series, Amnesia, Tonari No Kaibutsu and Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru.

It is quite pleasant to hear Yuu Kobayashi helming the role of Serinuma. Because no others could go into that kind of trademark ‘screaming’ like she can. It suits her character all the better since Serinuma is prone to get excited and do her inner screaming when she starts fantasizing BL. While this seems okay, at first I was wondering if her voice would suit the sweet looking Serinuma. You know, for a girl to be this smoking hot, Serinuma sounds a bit hoarse if you ask me. It’s like she’s trying hard to sound cute and it doesn’t match her cute demeanour. But you know me. After a while I got used to it and didn’t really care anymore. I’m a sucker for a pretty voice but not for a pretty voice. Unless you’re talking about Mamiko Noto…

Miyuki Sawashiro as Nishina, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as Shinomiya and Yuuichi Nakamura as Kazuma are the only seiyuus I recognized. The rest of the casts include Yuuki Ono as Igarashi (Isami in Shokugeki No Souma), Keisuke Koumoto as Nanashima (Raul in Yuushibu), Nobunaga Shimazaki as Mutsumi (Manato in Hai To Gensou No Grimgar), Takahiro Mizushima as Takurou (Nagasumi in Seto No Hanayome) and Asami Shimoda as A-chan (Rin in Infinite Stratos). The opening theme is PrincexPrince by From4to7 which is basically the 4 guys of Serinuma’s reverse harem. It sounds very much like a boy band song. Dokidoki No Kaze by Rie Murakawa as the ending song on the other hand sounds more of a generic anime pop.

Overall, this is a refreshing take on the reverse harem series instead one that is currently being plagued and ubiquitous in the music genre. This series has its charm and funny points, light and nothing too serious so it is basically a fun watch. Even if you’re not into the harem type genre, this feels more like a romantic comedy more than that. But unlike in games, reality doesn’t necessary mean there will be a single route to end up with or even returning to an earlier saved point. It could go on and on and on forever without any conclusion in sight. Bad end? Worse, if this was actually real life and Serinuma really had to pick one of them, she’d screw and ditch this choice and choose a total jerk or a big dick ass hat instead. Why do the good guys always have to give way and lose out :’(.

Stella No Mahou

April 22, 2017

Wait a minute. Wasn’t it not too long ago that we had a bunch of females making video games? Well, if you do not like the setting of a game company and would prefer the environment of high school girls making games, Stella No Mahou is what is right for you. I think. You may argue that D-Frag is also a high school setting but because of feminism and the need to eliminate any single guy from the entire series and you don’t want to be viewed as an idiot for watching a hilarious (some read it is stupid) slapstick comedy, then this series has got it all for you. All girls. High school setting. Cute and moe. Cute girls doing cute… Uhm, cute game programming?

Episode 1
Tamaki Honda and her friend, Yumine Fuda head to Hoshinotsuji for their first day of high school. As usual, there are many clubs recruiting for new members. One of the clubs is a game making club. But both the members, Ayame Seki and Shiina Murakami seem ‘dead’! The duo try out the action puzzle demo and since the PC freeze, they almost died of heart attack. I can understand putting your heart and soul in making a game only for everything to hang. They reboot and the duo try it out. Tamaki is impressed and asks more questions. Not sure if Shiina is being a pessimist because she keeps repeating how hard it is to make games. Yumine can’t join since she has her own commitments and Tamaki is unsure of her own ability. Tamaki ponders what kind of life she has been leading. Reading, drawing, copy drawing and doodling. Doesn’t look so proud there. When Tamaki remembers grandma praising her for some paper game she made, she decides to go back to the club. This time she meets another member, Kayo Fujikawa who is in charge of the game’s music. At first Kayo is sad that Tamaki was engrossed in the game that she didn’t notice her BGM but that also means the game is a success if she didn’t hear her music. Is she saying her music sucks? Tamaki wants to join this club because she likes the illustration and wants to learn more. However they tell her the person in charge of illustrations has already graduated. They were hoping to find a talented one through this recruitment drive. Of course Tamaki will try her best and without hesitation joins the club. They have her draw a test sample. Well, that looks quite surreal. Next day, Tamaki shows up at the clubroom as they all formally introduce themselves. Shiina is the programmer and her ‘serious’ eyes helped Tamaki decide to join this club. Actually she stayed up all night programming and trying to fit in the whims and last minute fancies of certain people. Don’t get on her bad side when she is in this bad mood. Ayame is the story and scriptwriter while Kayo handles to BGM and SFX. So what is their club called? Shinda Sakana No Me (Dead Fish Eyes) Nisshou Busoku (Not Enough Sun) Shuttle Run Club. SNS for short. Deep name… Don’t ask… They discuss the details of their next puzzle game. They caution Tamaki they want this game out by Summer Comiket so there are deadlines to meet. Thus this is not an easy task and hopefully she won’t burnt herself out. Tamaki is confident she has got passion for this. Let’s hope so. They give her the demo game they recently made to her because they want to incorporate her style into their next game. And so Tamaki’s first night she burns the midnight oil copying the illustration style.

Episode 2
Tamaki is happy that all the club members somewhat meet while on their way to school. It’s like they’re in sync. But the mere mention of that has Ayame feeling down because it means they’re a small club and Tamaki was the only freshman who joined. Let’s hope they got more members along the way. When Tamaki enters the clubroom, she sees and hears Ayame passionately acting out her storyline. Wait. Ayame is crying upon realizing Tamaki was watching? Tamaki tries to go away but Ayame changes the subject by wanting to see her sketches. They’ll trade stories and sketches. But Ayame realizes an old embarrassing story she doesn’t want Tamaki to hear. Shiina almost recites it out… Everyone heads to the café where Kayo works part time to brainstorm. It seems Tamaki cannot start drawing until Ayame figures out a story. Because it descends into a noisy past digging (Ayame and Shiina trying to outdo the other), Kayo kicks them out. When Tamaki takes the train home, she realizes Ayame’s sketchbook is in her back. Ayame is frantically searching for it because the story is her life. Imagine her horror when she learns it is in Tamaki’s hands and she has read her adult-like story. She keeps denying it is her old self. Because Tamaki has some chores to do, Yumine will help pass her sketches to the club. She had always wanted to see what her club is like. You know she’ll be in for a weird ride when she reads the long ass club name. Expressive name? Then Shiina is really scared about Yumine thinking she would spread bad stuffs about the club. Kayo is making weird annoying sounds in her bid to find the right one. Yumine blows her top thinking the club is trying to make Tamaki draw lewd stuffs but they explain. When Yumine asks if Tamaki is being taught by anyone, they contemplate if they should bring up their senior’s name, Teru Hyakutake AKA Temawari. Apparently she is also a famous illustrator and Yumine is a big fan of her. Guess what? Yumine too has her own quirk. She is a fujoshi! Seeing their work is in line with some BL theme, Yumine agrees to help with Tamaki’s work. When Yumine returns the sketchbook, Tamaki asks about her members’ thoughts. At first Yumine is in a dilemma on what to say but tells her the truth that as long as she is happy when she draws, that is all that matters. Next time, Tamaki shows the sketches herself. They’ll try to incorporate her drawings into the story. Yumine will help Tamaki if she helps with her projects too. Of course the real intention is that she doesn’t want Tamaki to hog drawing all the BL stuff. Naughty girl…

Episode 3
Shiina suggests an outing. That’s because Ayame is running late on her storyboard. Don’t want the club to end up rotting and then disbanded, would you? Everyone converges at Tamaki’s house in the outskirts. Shiina installs the necessary programmes on her PC so she can do her digital drawing. They then brainstorm the visual novel adventure game they want to make. However Ayame is still having writer’s block and it is really getting to her. Is it because they dropped the love comedy plot for this adventure? Kayo helps give some motivation by mixing a recently recorded sound. Funny enough to give Ayame some encouragement but it made Tamaki’s grandma mad and out to kill! She thinks someone is playing with the bamboo clacker! This is going to be a long lecture… As Shiina teaches Tamaki the software, the latter asks how the club got its name. To cut things short, the trio were in charge to name it. Each pick out a name from the suggestion box. All 3 names were from Shiina’s suggestions. Shiina also recalls the progress the club made and how fun it was during the year. It would have been a boring life without the club. After dinner and bath, Ayame has finished part of her story and copies it for the rest to read. I’m going to spare you the details seeing I myself don’t really understand what is going on. All I know is that there are the main protagonists, Stella and Samyu. Stella is sick or something and Samyu has to find a cure. There is a bad end and true ending in which Ayame wanted to make the latter more interesting with a .exe popping up on the screen but that will be just suspicious as people would think it is a virus or something. When Yumine is going to read Ayame’s old story, she tries to stop her. Grandma just walked in with snacks and Ayame crashes into her. Oh no. Not again. In the end, everyone goes to the public bath to bathe. Ayame and Kayo observe the good rapport between Tamaki and Shiina. And Yumine couldn’t shut up about her BL fantasies. Or is it yuri fantasy with Tamaki? While her friends are sleeping, Tamaki continues to practice what Shiina taught her.

Episode 4
Tamaki continues her drawing in class. Her fellow classmates, Marika Shimizu the halfie and Natsu Iino the animal lover give their 2 cents worth. Tamaki is so into her scribbling that she couldn’t pay attention in class. However she is also in a slump and as she sits by the riverbank eating candy and accidentally dropping it, she observes the cat licking it and wishes she was one. Then a strange cat girl pops up. More like a crazy girl cosplaying as one. She is Teru and volunteers to be her model. After looking through her sketches, Teru can tell who she is and wants to keep the sketchbook. In return, she treats Tamaki to snacks. Tamaki wants her sketchbook back but Teru asks why she is trying so hard to make a game because it is difficult. Is she being forced to draw? Tamaki thinks back of all the times SNS spent together and mentions they genuinely wants to make a game. Seeing how passionate she is, Teru gives her sketchbook back and believes she’ll create something great. Of course this Teru is SNS’ graduated senior. She visits Kayo at her café and decides to give a little cash donation after seeing today’s ‘cute kitten’. Discussing with the other girls this heavenly fund, Tamaki cannot remember Teru’s name as she was preoccupied with the sketchbook but feels something familiar about the cat girl that her pals are talking about. They plan to use this money to get Tamaki a scanner. As they browse, Tamaki remembers she forgot her sketchbook. She manages to get it but it soon pours. Luckily Ayame’s house is nearby so they take respite there. Ayame’s younger brother, Haruma seems to be having love at first sight on Tamaki. Till he realizes she is older than her petite looks. Haruma is also into drawing and he takes up Tamaki’s request to teach her some. Shiina plugs in the scanner and uploads some of the sketches in Tamaki’s sketchbook. So far she has completed Stella and Samyu only. Haruma suggests using search engines for ideas because if she is going to draw, she needs to look at lots of things and use it as model. Didn’t think of that, did she? Then the question that the girls ask that has Haruma’s heart stop for a while: Does Tamaki have a boyfriend? The only guy in her life now is her dad. Is he disappointed or relieved? Ayame teases him about his first love that will be unrequited but he hits back saying she never has a boyfriend. Let the sibling rivalry begin!

Episode 5
Tamaki falls ill. I know she overworked herself but what’s this about Shiina saying she looked at too many manga for men and can barely breathe? Is that a joke? Shiina and Ayame are kind enough to go out their way to go visit her. Since the deadline is coming up, they have to complete their work there too. Ayame’s fears come true when Haruma reads over her script over the phone to Shiina so she could programme it. Embarrassing story? When Shiina goes to make porridge, Ayame tells Tamaki more about her friendship with Shiina. Tamaki feels restless that she couldn’t help but as Shiina points out, her part there is more than enough time to make it so please concentrate and recover. The next day she is well again. However Ayame relays the devastating news that their club’s name isn’t selected. This means even if they completed the game, they still can’t enter Summer Comiket. I guess Ayame couldn’t bring herself to tell everyone yesterday. Don’t worry, they can enter the next event. That’s in 6 days… This means Tamaki, Shiina and Ayame will be staying overnight at the clubroom to rush things out. They’ve brought their favourite stuffs to get through the night like snacks and for Tamaki it is a picture of her dad. As punishment, Ayame gets a big load of work share. Kayo relays message that she wants to do more sound effects and BGM but Shiina ‘strangles’ the laptop that they don’t have time and to stick with the schedule! They are so focused in finishing their job that they push anyone else away at the door. Including a newbie who wants to join. Later! When there is no word from Kayo for 5 hours (no she isn’t sleeping either), they fear she might have quit. Remember, they are making this game on voluntary basis without pay and can’t force anyone to work. Tamaki feels depressed but chooses to believe in her. Then a message from Kayo came. She has just finished 6 songs and has sent it to them. The trio then make a final last spurt to finish up the game, Stella No Mahou. As explained by Shiina, Stella isn’t just the protagonist as there is another hidden meaning for her name. Because the game is collectively made by 5 different people like a star, and thus this phenomenon is what she calls ‘stellar’ magic.

Episode 6
When they arrive outside the exhibition hall, Shiina gets panic attack and falls sick. She excuses herself home after passing the baton and making it sound like a dying wish. Ayame couldn’t be more appalled because apparently she has been pulling this sort of trick since young. So the duo man their booth and with nobody approaching it, Tamaki starts thinking it is her drawing when in reality Ayame says it is because they did no advertising whatsoever. Yumine is also here but she can’t stop and say hi as she wants to get Temawari’s works. When they finally have their first customer, Tamaki panics as the customer is taken in by her drawing and wants her to sketch in her sketchbook. She is pleased and even has Tamaki autograph it. In the afternoon, they have more sales. One of them was Teru in disguise and they couldn’t recognize her. She is glad they are doing fine. When they go home, Shiina calls Ayame to apologize she couldn’t help. She still sounds very sick. Rest up. Once she is well, everyone gathers at Ayame’s house to celebrate. Kayo is thanking Tamaki for covering her. She is being too close so Yumine blows her top. What’s her problem? Well, she thinks Tamaki should be the dominant one. Oh, it’s her delusion. Tamaki doesn’t even know what it means… Too angelic. Shiina suggests telling Tamaki how SNS was formed like Ayame was from the drama club and when Teru read her script and suggested making a game out of it, it was the birth of the club. Tamaki would love to hear each of their past stories but how far can they dig before it gets forbidden? Instead, Tamaki wants to tell love stories. Is this so she can praise her dad? Yeah, it’s the only guy she loves. Shiina surprises everyone that she has received a love letter before. However she didn’t know what to do with it and thought it was a prank and gave it to the teacher. Too harsh, too negative. Yumine and Tamaki walk home. Yumine reveals her parents aren’t open minded to such genres and they had a fight. But Yumine proved it by improving her grades so they tolerate it. Tamaki might look like she has overworked herself with hectic last minute spurts. But now she has a glowing wonderful smile.

Episode 7
Tamaki is shocked when Kayo starts saying stuffs like “I love you” before her. Turns out she is trying to compose a poem for her senior (Teru). Tamaki misinterprets this for a guy and panics. Learning she is composing another poem, she wonders who it is for. Ayame. More panic. Even more so when Kayo wants her help to talk more about her dad’s love! Yeah, that’s complicated. When Yumine notices Tamaki spacing out and asks why, imagine the fury she has when she misinterprets about Tamaki trying to help Kayo out with her complicated love! Nobody steals her best friend! Kayo ushers Tamaki into a room alone as part of the plan to help out with her ‘love’. More misinterpretations when she starts saying things like making babies (her composition). When Kayo tries to find her scenario sheet, she accidentally fall on top of Tamaki. Right at that moment Yumine walks in. Luckily she didn’t turn into a yandere and quickly takes Tamaki away. Later Tamaki realizes all the misunderstanding. As she explains it to Yumine, she starts thinking BL stuffs about them. This excites her and will support Tamaki! Tamaki tells us her flashback how she became friends with Yumine. She was always absent due to illness and one day she has to take notes to her house. In her bid to be friends with her, Tamaki often tried to talk and share her games. However Yumine did not welcome this and scolds her to go home. She thought Tamaki is the same like the rest who thinks she is getting preferential treatment just because she is sick. In class, Tamaki gets deep in philosophy asking why are friends, you know, friends. Something about studying together, eat together, blah, blah, blah. Wow. Does Tamaki understand all that? She gets this idea to make a board game to play with Yumine. It is so badly created and Tamaki getting all the bad turns, it made Yumine laugh. Ever since, Yumine opened up, came to school more often and made friends. The duo became best of friends and gradually Yumine became a BL fanatic. Tamaki is thankful to games that they became friends. She also got to meet nice people at SNS and hopes to meet all kinds of people through games. Suddenly Tamaki is grabbed by this mad girl who wants to challenge her after making a fool out of her that time. Who the f*ck is she?!

Episode 8
Remember that newbie who wanted to join but was shooed away because they were chaotic in finishing the game? Yup. Minaha. She is from the illustration club and challenges Tamaki to create character designs from a story that sounds so much written by Ayame (it is). If Tamaki loses, she must give her a game from SNS. Well, I think she wants more people to play SNS’ game. In the end, Minaha realizes she has lost to Tamaki’s ‘superior’ drawing. She’s really being sore about it. Tamaki gives her Stella No Mahou to play anyway. She accepts but will challenge again her next time. Next day, Minaha barges into the clubroom crying. She played the entire game and when she finally reached the true ending, some bug froze her screen! That’s the problem? Well, despair for Shiina. Minaha adds that she tried to find a patch on the homepage but it looked so pathetic. Well, more despair for Shiina. They give her an updated version with the bugs fixed. She wants to play right now so Kayo lends her notebook. Minaha likes the quick fix, the sound and the story. As she isn’t swayed by the lousy art, a reason to be obnoxious to Tamaki? Furthermore she doesn’t like Ayame, not knowing that she is the story writer who goes under the pseudo name of Iris. Even when she signs her autograph, Minaha blows her top thinking she is an imposter! They want to let her join but it seems Minaha has changed her mind. Initially she wanted to join SNS during the recruitment day but the members were sleeping. So she joined the illustration club but as it got more boring, she became curious of what SNS is about. Minaha suggests creating detailed member profiles for their webpage. Is this some sort of challenge to make Tamaki draw? So while Tamaki hangs out with Yumine, she gets inspired when Yumine got clickbait. You know, an article with a seemingly attracting headline but clicking on its link leads you to an entirely different article. So when Tamaki introduces this to SNS, they’re lost. Even when she demonstrates, it got even more lost. What was this about again? Minaha has drawn her own profile. But since she is not an official member, they can’t let her submit. Care to join? Not a chance. Minaha chastises Tamaki for not drawing her own. Well, it’s because Minaha is way better, right? But Tamaki is motivated when Minaha gives an example of a cherished gift because it was made just for you. Minaha leaves in hopes of drawing more illustrations to be worthy of Iris. I think somebody should really tell her that…

Episode 9
Shiina is already wondering if she can helm the job as the club president when Tamaki suddenly runs to her crying! She is worried she might kick her out of the club if she can’t draw anymore! Better talk this in private before the public thinks this is some sort of love triangle. Apparently Tamaki is in a slump. Worse, she had that dream Minaha was better than her and Shiina dumped Tamaki for her. Tamaki then sees Minaha in her class trying to spread the word about this story by Iris. Yumine stops her thinking she is picking on Tamaki and then argues some BL position. Huh? Ayame helps Tamaki alleviate some of her slump worries. This has Shiina believe she would make a better club president. She must have taken it quite literally so she takes off her glasses to look all sparkly. Because of her different respectable look, Minaha thinks she is Iris. Plus, Ayame’s bad eyesight means she cannot identify Minaha. After getting her autograph, Minaha is certain she wants to join SNS. Tamaki is worried. Does a club need 2 illustrators? Shiina doesn’t see a problem if their art style matches. At first Ayame disagrees but after a few discussions and how they’re going to do debut a new game at Summer Comiket, looks like everything worked out. Their entry at Summer Comiket will be called Stardust Intenzione. Next day, looks like Marika is a newly convert after reading Stardust Intenzione. Tamaki still isn’t confident about her drawing so she has Natsu give some advice. Just keep practising. Her classmates take turns to sketch each other. In the clubroom, Tamaki seeks Minaha’s help to improve and surprisingly she helps out without objection. When the rest come in, they tell them their work at Summer Comiket will be displayed by Temawari in exchange they help out in sales. Tamaki doesn’t understand why club activities are ending so early. Because tomorrow is the test. But back home instead of studying, she continues drawing to improve herself. Just one more drawing before picking up a book… I believe at this rate she is never going to make it. You can tell she screwed up when she accidentally sends her selfies to Natsu. And now the regret of she should have studied more after the tests ends. It wasn’t only Tamaki who had problems in her test, Ayame too. Perhaps it was the email she got yesterday praising her story that made her too happy to study.

Episode 10
Tamaki meets up with Teru and the latter is pleased with the game they made. Teru plans on sneaking around the school and has already dressed up in her old uniform. Because Teru steals her hair ribbon, Tamaki is walking around with a new mature look that has other girls wondering who this babe is. It’s both embarrassing and exciting for Tamaki. Minaha continues to lecture Tamaki about her drawings and Teru also butts in to have her say. If you’re wondering why Minaha needs to call beforehand to enter SNS, it’s because so Ayame can have time to turn into Iris! It’s time to be awesome. Minaha is still dense and cannot put the picture together about Iris and Ayame. Though she notices that glass girl isn’t around but it is more of some silly reasons about her being punished. Then the inevitable. Minaha and Tamaki argue over who is the better illustrator and wants Iris to choose! This is going to take a while… Later Shiina tells Tamaki it doesn’t matter who is better as each has their own individual quality. However Tamaki snaps back that she wants to draw good pictures before realizing her rudeness. When she runs out, she accidentally drops Shiina’s laptop she borrowed. Oh no. Doesn’t turn on. It’s broken! Panicking, since Teru is nearby, she pleads to accompany her to go apologize. But Teru just leaves back her ribbon and a note to try her best. So Tamaki stalks Shiina on her way home and eventually Shiina lets her in. Shiina’s mom seems to be the kind of mother who wants her daughter to bring back a boyfriend. She doesn’t mind if it’s the same gender too… Oddly, Tamaki tries to strip to apologize?! They are shortly interrupted when Ayame is here. Apparently her makeup is still on and since this scares her brothers, she is here to borrow some makeup remover before returning home. Tamaki apologizes for breaking her laptop. However it works fine when Shiina plugs in power. It just ran out of battery. Phew. As they reconcile, the good mood is ruined when Minaha barges in since she is here to learn game scripting from Shiina. I see Ayame didn’t remove her makeup as she continues to play Iris. Worse, Shiina’s mom welcomes them to stay for the night, allows them to take energy drinks and snacks and has prepared the bath and sleeping bags for them. Shiina didn’t like this but the promise to liven up SNS to Teru is more important as she goes back working with her friends.

Episode 11
The girls are burning the midnight oil to finish their game. Suddenly Natsu knock on their door looking for her little sister. Who? WHO?! MINAHA?! She is mad at Minaha for breaking her curfew and because of that, grandma is mad. She takes her home in her limo. Wow… When Minaha doesn’t come for club activities anymore, Tamaki finds out from Natsu that strict grandma has barred her from everything including Summer Comiket. Shiina would like Minaha back so they can keep up with the schedule so Tamaki is going to her house and talk. She’s bringing Ayame in hopes as Iris would change her mind. Well, she’s making Ayame go as her bespectacled self in hopes Minaha can connect the dots. Let’s hope she won’t be disillusioned. Natsu’s family house is much bigger than Tamaki’s! Damn rich kids. As the duo talk with Natsu and Minaha, Natsu explains ever since Minaha hangs out with SNS, her grades have dropped as she stayed out more often. Previously Natsu was able to cover for her when grandma blows her top but this one has grown too big for anything. Natsu lectures about drawing being a hobby and she is just conceited if she thinks she can draw the things she can only draw. Ayame disagrees and argues about the passion they put in. Then Natsu makes her read collections from some graduating class. I guess they are Ayame’s works so she couldn’t read it eventually. Minaha’s heart feels conflicted as Ayame is giving out a sense like as though she is Iris. It’s right under your nose… Natsu agrees to convince grandma provided Tamaki and Minaha score 70% in all of their term exams. All of them. Don’t worry. They have energy drinks to help keep them awake for tonight’s study session! Déjà vu hell? After the term exams, Tamaki and Minaha continue drawing. As Tamaki is still bugged by Natsu and Ayame’s argument, she goes out for a walk and bumps into Teru. Tamaki is so down that Teru can tell as she hugs her and gives some advice. This gives Tamaki motivation to draw more about her dad. As she rushes home, Minaha is here because it will be faster to get things done if they do things together. Unfortunately because Tamaki’s house is so far away, it will be far past her curfew when she gets back. What to do? Hope Natsu will come up with an excuse for grandma? Because Teru drops by and says she won’t be going home tonight (she’s staying?), this gives Minaha the reason to stay for the night and finish the job.

Episode 12
The day of Summer Comiket is here. Because Tamaki forgot to set her alarm, Minaha and Natsu have to drive all the way in their limo to pick her up. The rest are already heading there via ferry. When they arrive, Yumine is also there. Since Minaha still doesn’t get along with her, b*tch mode all the way. The hall is crowded with people and after going through the BL section, they finally see their booth. They have to immediately get to work because of the long queue. The crowd eases in the afternoon. Marika comes by to buy a game. There is also a customer whom Tamaki remembers visiting from the previous exhibition. She is amazed with their artwork and Tamaki credits Minaha for it. She also credits her as the leader although embarrassed Minaha denies. However the rest of the girls support that Minaha deserves most of the credit as many of the ideas were from her. Meanwhile Natsu and Teru are spying on them faraway via telescope? The day ends well for our girls. Next day, they visit the beach as wrap up party. Initially Tamaki called Minaha to come over but the latter was acting cocky that they aren’t friends but rivals, blah, blah, blah. Now she is complaining while only watching them play in the sand inside her car. Even more vexing is that Yumine is joining them and she isn’t part of SNS! Just go join them already. When the girls relax, they notice something is bugging Tamaki. She realizes the most important thing about joining this club is not to draw but to make a game that makes people smile. She wants to create a game with her own ideas. The rest agree with her idea and feels it is their turn to support her. But Winter Comiket applications are due tomorrow! And they should have seen it coming that Tamaki wants a game with old men! I’m wondering why everybody is smiling when they are giving ‘warning’s about the tight schedules, meetings and hard work everybody needs to put in. Because what the heck, they’re going to try their best anyway, right?

Special 1
Taking place during the spring break where Teru has graduated and Tamaki hasn’t joined yet, Kayo seems pretty distanced. Next morning, Kayo receives a call from Ayame to wish her happy birthday! She would appreciate if she’d just text her and allow her to sleep. Oh, Ayame and Shiina are already outside her house now! Apparently they know her birthday since last year Teru asked them about it. Plus, it was actually Shiina who remembered her birthday. They then borrow her kitchen to make her a birthday breakfast. Tastes good. Like her mom’s. Seconds please, mom! They might have pressed the wrong button when they ask why she looks dejected lately. Kayo has been feeling burnt out and has lots of free time lately. Thus she is reorganizing her thoughts and wondering what she should do with her musical activities from now on. The duo are worried that she might leave the club since her dream is to become a music professional. They change the subject by asking her what she wants for her birthday. Kayo shows an expensive keyboard with an analogue synthesizer. 70,000 Yen! Just kidding. She has been working and saving up for this. Instead, Kayo wants to go out on a date with Shiina since she is cute. Say what?! Just kidding too. Except for the cute part. Ayame wonders if she is worrying to much about making the right decision or just being insecure.

Special 2
Continuing from the last special, the trio walk around town to find Kayo a present. Kayo wonders why Shiina is being silent and should be enjoying herself more. This is after all their date. Ayame and Shiina ponder about buying a tea she likes. But since it is consumable, Ayame would prefer something she can still remember. What about clothes? Kayo doesn’t need them since she gets hand me downs from her sister. In the music shop, when Ayame asks if she would like to perform on stage, Kayo says she prefers making music. Though, she did think it would be fun if they started a band. She shows them the analogue synthesizer she wants. It might look ancient but it can only produce an analogue sound it can. At the crane game machine, it brings back lots of memories. They used to hang out with Teru here. Teru was obsessed in getting a cat doll. She spent too much and didn’t have enough to get home. Shiina covered for her. Eventually she never did get the prize. It is then Kayo realizes she likes Teru. Ever since she left, she felt a hole in her heart. Shiina then surprises them by giving a present to Kayo. It is that cat doll. Kayo pats her head but tells her she cannot be Teru’s replacement anyhow. But since this makes her happy so thank you. Kayo doesn’t want to be the laughing stock of her family by putting the doll in her room. So they decide to put it in the clubroom. The trio hope they get along well from now on.

Less Than Stellar Magic
Yawn… Oh, is it over already? Thank goodness. Unfortunately for me, with all the glitzy cuteness and everything, this is just boring in my books. It isn’t really about making a game but a group of girls making a game and their bond and interaction between them. I know I should have seen this coming and shouldn’t expect to learn something about making games (after all, this is high school setting). So compared with New Game, I’d say that this series fares worse in my books. I believe making a simple game isn’t as simple as we see here. Otherwise, why so many Kickstarter fails and disappointing games from big companies in recent years?

There are jokes and comedies here and there to make you laugh. Some spontaneous. However despite I have a few chuckles, overall they don’t really make me look forward to see what kind of shenanigans they will pull. I laugh at the silliness of the situation, I forget about it and move on till the next one comes. I guess it feels like the comedies here are short term because at this point I can’t really remember what the funniest memorable moments are in this series except for the characters’ running jokes.

Personally, the characters feel boring despite each of them has their own unique personality to make them stand out. Maybe I have been watching too many of such anime that I don’t really find characters in this genre appealing anymore (but will still continue to watch them because I’m always a sucker for this category). Sure, everyone has their own problems and dilemmas once in a while but they are not that serious to make us feel for them. Because we know they’ll eventually overcome it or be positive in facing it. So we have Tamaki the high pitched squeaky newbie who has her own passion and insecurities. She strives to continue to do better not only as a game artist but as well as an artist in general. The only thing that I have memorable about her is the running joke they keep spamming when they have the chance. The part where she goes on ranting about the love of her dad. Yeah, daddy’s girl. She is the kind of daughter whom all fathers in the world would love to have because you don’t have to worry about sneaky and shady boys wanting to date your little girl and always worrying if they’re going to get in her pants after each date. She is one of those characters who has a fetish for older men and this is a rare type because the only other character I know has this fetish is that weirdo in Kuragehime.

Then there is Ayame who always seem to get embarrassed by her past works. It’s like she’s writing it all down when the passion is flowing. Never mind what it is. After when it is all done and published, she only starts to regret and be ashamed of what kind of stories she wrote. This is what I’ll remember her for mostly. The same case for Yumine who isn’t only just a very close friend of Tamaki but some sort of fujoshi crazy girl who ironically loves to fantasize BL stuffs to the point where she turns her female friends into males just to get her fix. Don’t forget Minaha as the rascal and brat of the series, Tamaki’s rival and the non-believer that Ayame and Iris are the same person. At this rate she’ll never figure why they are never at the same place at the same time. I wonder why she hasn’t officially join SNS seeing that she spends most of her club time here. It’s like if there is real sh*t happening, she can quickly opt out because she’s not a real member anyway. Shiina feels like she has locked her emotions away deep inside or she lost them while growing up. Sometimes I want to think it is stress because from time to time you can see her getting depressed from certain things thinking it was her fault and such. Being a club president isn’t easy. At least all these characters have something that I could ‘remember’ them by because I don’t even for Kayo. I can’t think of the most prominent thing about this music producer.

Teru seems like she is trying to be portrayed as the mysterious girl because she keeps popping up from time to time before Tamaki like as though she is some sort of goddess or saviour. It’s understandable that now she is in college, she would want to see how her juniors and the club are doing. Ultimately, she is just keeping an eye on her juniors, that’s all. Nothing special to her. Natsu is surprisingly a responsible and mature character. So never write off a person despite her poker face because she can hold more influence and mandate when you least expected it. Oh, and shows like these always need some sort of halfie (usually Caucasian) because Japan is too homogenous a culture and country. Seriously.

Art and drawing wise, the character designs are mostly going for the kawaii and moe type. Therefore instead of having nerdy looking high school girls, you have super kawaii joshikousei instead. Hence if I were to compare of all game programming anime series based on this category, it would be my least favourite. Not to say that kawaii girls are bad but when you look at D-Frag and even New Game, those have better looking characters, am I right? Animated by Silverlink who gave us titles like Baka To Test To Shoukanjuu, Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Ilya series, Kokoro Connect, Cube x Cursed, Curious, Chaos Dragon and Non Non Biyori.

It was a big surprise for me to find out that Aoi Yuuki was the one behind Kayo. Throughout the years of stereotyping her voice and despite she did take several roles that does away with that genki trademark voice of hers (like that frog girl in Boku No Hero Academia), she is virtually unrecognizable here. Sure, it’s part of her character role but it feels like as though she’s grown up so much. Worse, sometimes straining my ears to confirm it is her doesn’t help and somehow I ended thinking she is Ami Koshimizu. Woah… That’s a big difference. The only seiyuu I recognize is Satomi Arai as Shiina’s mom. The rest of the casts include Maria Naganawa as Tamaki (Theia in Rokujouma No Shinryakusha), Ari Ozawa as Ayame (Kirin Gakusen Toshi Asterisk), Rie Murakawa as Shiina (Hotaru in Non Non Biyori), Ayaka Imamura as Minaho (Munemune in Shakunetsu No Takkyuu Musume), Ryouko Maekawa as Yumine (Sayaka Sasayama in Yugioh Arc V), Chinatsu Akasaki as Teru (Yasuna in Kill Me Baby), You Taichi as Natsu (Anzu in Prison School) and Shino Shimoji as Marika (Akari Oozoa in Aikatsu series).

The opening theme is God Save The Girls by Shino Shimoji. God, I wanted to make a pun about this song title about saving the anime… Anyway, a typical anime pop piece but the opening credits animation is interesting since some of it is in old fashion retro style 2D pixels and old gamers might feel the nostalgia. Also featured here are the experience levels of the girls. I believe it must be the computer programming skill levels or the motivation level of the girls. Not that I can understand since they’re all in hiragana. Too lazy to find out… The weird one is the ending theme. Yonaka and Jikaru by the duet of Maria Naganawa and Ryouko Maekawa doesn’t feel so much like a song sung by them. They just sing a few lines and the rest of them are like instrumental. Because the other parts they were like just going, “Hooooooooooo~”. The song sounds a bit space-y which really compliments the pleasingly colourful basic shapes.

Maybe I am too ‘advanced’ in my animes to appreciate this kind of simple anime anymore. I don’t think I can classify this series as calming and cleansing the toxic soul like how Tamayura does it. Close, but not similar. It makes me wonder if such shows like Tamayura pop up, I’ll be able to appreciate it anymore seeing I realize how contaminated my mind, heart and soul are to even value this kind of series. To be fair, this series isn’t very bad but if you are looking for something extraordinary, this series doesn’t break any new grounds either. It’s a good thing these girls don’t meet me if I ever come to their booth to buy their games. Because even with the special rate, discounts or other freebies they throw in, I’ll still find something to criticise. I wonder if they can take it all. Yeah, they’ll ban me from ever buying their games again.

Yuyushiki Special

April 21, 2017

Hold on a second. I thought this series was dead? So when Yuyushiki Special came out in early 2017, I was really surprised because it has always been almost 4 years since the TV series ended. And with not a very good impression on me since all I remember was the boredom in sitting through the dozen episodes. Then they come out with this special like as though they want me to remember the boredom back then with another new episode of boringness. Of course I have the option of not watching it but what to do? My nostalgia sensors were ringing (even if it was for the wrong reasons) so I can’t let this slip by. Maybe things have changed. Maybe the jokes are better. Maybe I should give this a chance. A few minutes watching into the special and then I saw the title of the episode… Too late… Having that sinking feeling now…

Annoying Someone And Being Annoyed By Someone
* Yuzuko always wanted to shout “I love you” to Yui. Yukari? Soak in a bathtub with her school uniform. Yui? Eat sukiyaki. With her clothes on of course.
* They email a photo of Yukari riding Yuzuko like a horse. Its caption reads “Driving without a licence”. Do you learn how to drive like this at the driving school?
* Yui talks to Yukari about how some people’s hands go up when they try to explain. Yukari falls for this trick so Yuzuko takes advantage by hanging her bag over them.
* Yuzuko is hungry and wants Yui to get her something to eat. She’s not saying what so Yui had to guess. She came with all the correct food. Maybe she’ll just eat anything.
* Yuzuko tricks her friends into making them think she has caught a bug with a handkerchief. No bug! Oh, but there is. It is squished dead.
* Yuzuko feels like kicking Yui. But Yukari softly kicks her leg but her own leg is in pain? Is she trolling us? Yui is annoyed by this but as Yuzuko says, if they don’t annoy her, they will have to annoy Aizawa! Yui in that case would prefer to be annoyed then. Though, Aizawa wouldn’t mind being annoyed. Are you annoyed? Because of that, Yuzuko will continue annoying her like a fan. Is this domestic violence?
* They later look up its definition. The duo try to follow its definition by messing around and annoying her but without bad intentions and then also making up for it. I think blowing your warm breath doesn’t quite cut it.
* Aizawa is afraid to come into the club since Yuzuko is fiercely denouncing the person outside as the enemy. Bread faction? When she does come in, she is made to sit on Yui’s chair. Okaasan comes in to talk with Aizawa. This prompts Yuzuko to have Aizawa call Okaasan her mom. Because Yuzuko likes the sound of it.
* They ask how Okano became friends with Aizawa. Because she is cute. How about Hasegawa for Okano? Because she seems pitiful.
* Yuzuko wants to clean Yui’s ear. However she would rather have a curry party than that. The duo agree to that although they would still want to clean her ears.
* Yuzuko tricks Yui into doing some finger hook thingy. Yukari can’t help laugh her ass off.
* Next month is Yukari’s birthday but Yuzuko is already asking what to do for her birthday next year. Again Yukari can’t stop laughing.
* They discuss about the definition for the idiom ‘there is no way of knowing what is in the demon’s jar’ (impossible to predict the future) and come up with all sorts of silly ideas on what is in it.
* Yuzuko suggests going on a trip and making a memorable one. Of course by that she means Yui will have to take care of everything. Can’t Yui have fun like them too? Isn’t watching them have fun good enough? They thought it was her only source of happiness! You kidding her?
* Yuzuko wants to take a bath and say “Choo Choo!”. Yui thought her parents would be worried if she said that but nothing would be more worrisome if she said, “I wanna die!”. As the friends leave, Yuzuko just wants everyone to say “Choo Choo!” when they go to the bath for the sake of world peace. Peace is never having her annoy me again. And they quietly enjoy a nice hot bath.

Being Annoyed Bored To Death…
Just as I feared. The special wasn’t anything special. It was still as boring as hell. Sure, I did quip at the few silly jokes (bad enough that it had to be funny) but that wasn’t enough to label this special any better than the TV series. It is sad that because my overall sentiments for the TV series were already low, that mentality will be stuck with me for the rest of my life and thus the special will have to do way better than this if they really want my opinion of the series to change. For instance, it would have been way better and more interesting if this special actually come to realize that conspiracy theory that I mentioned in my previous blog on how Yui’s friends are just imaginary friends! Oh yeah. Imagine how shocking that would be. I would have understood why it didn’t turn out so but now I wished it would even if it was a lie. All for the sake of being entertained!

There is nothing more for me to comment on as the characters remain the same from what I remembered. Yuzuko is the main troublemaker and the crazy oddball as well as Yukari as her accomplice. They are supposed to be the idiots that make the series funny. Yui on the other hand is supposed to play the straight (wo)man and for most of the time have this annoyed looks on her face. I understand it can really get to you when you have such annoyed friends. Is it me or is Yukari breaking out laughing a lot here? Is this some sort of conditioning to tell us it is funny and make us laugh? I know I didn’t. Because it’s like saying Yuzuko is an idiot. Whatever she does, you must laugh. Not funny. Just annoying. Other characters like Okaasan, Aizawa and co make their cameo appearances that didn’t amount to anything much so that we could remember this series is more than just about the trio.

Overall, if this special was to rekindle any sentiments for fans of the series and perhaps to make another comeback and a sequel, it certainly didn’t work for me. It still felt boring and despite a 27 minute of running time, it felt like I sat there for an hour. Maybe I’m so bored that I am already going crazy. Just like how Yuzuko is a reminder that inside everyone one of us, we have a crazy side making us say and do crazy things. That’s why I hope I can leave this series behind in peace by saying “Choo Choo!” once it is done. CHOO CHOO!

Keijo

April 16, 2017

Just when you think they can’t get anymore ‘creative’ with fanservice sports, then they come up with this ridiculous idea of a fictitious female-only sports whereby you use your butts (and sometimes boobs) to hit your opponent out of the ring!!! OMFG!!! It’s definitely targeting a certain (loser and horny) demographic here. But (pun intended) I suppose that if you love butts and boobs and a sleazy excuse to watch girls battling out in their swimsuits for a big part of the series, then Keijo is your answer. If that doesn’t ring any alarm bells, the original title has multiple exclamation marks to it! More exclamation marks for more hype! I think. I’m excluding it because I lost counting how many freaking exclamation marks there are. It’s like also a warning and a sign of what to expect of this show, right? But that’s enough talking. Sit your butt down and let the butts do the talking.

Episode 1
The sport of Keijo is definitely big business because it is big money if you are the champion. Yeah, the money is just short of being as good as doing porn. Haha! Nozomi Kaminashi dreams of becoming such player and she manages to get her wish to enrol at Setouchi Keijo Training School along with fellow classmate, Sayaka Miyata. Nozomi is excited to speak to reporters but they are more interested in covering Miyata since her father was a famous judo master so it definitely brings up news when his daughter left the sport for this one. When a rookie reporter tries to cover Nozomi, he is chastised by his senior that they should cover promising ones. And she thought Nozomi was promising. But they are stumped some of the best Keijo players interact with Nozomi. Like Hanabi Kawai who comes from the same school as Nozomi as well as the top ranked Keijo player, Mio Kusakai. Flashback reveals Nozomi and the rest were in a mock test to determine the rankings for the elite. Because when you’re in the elite class you get special treatment such as 50% discounts in your tuition fees. Wow. So you bet Nozomi wants to rise to the top quickly. The mock match begins with players teaming up against Miyata since they are wary of her judo skills but of course they are no match for her. Nozomi can also stand her ground but others soon gang up on her. That is when Kawai joins in the fun. She knocks out everyone with her swift butt swing. That is her butt doesn’t even touch her opponents! Soon it becomes a heated battle between Nozomi and Kawai using all sorts of their personal butt attacks. It even descended into a boob fight. In the end, Kawai wins when Nozomi receives a direct hit on her jaw. Nozomi and Miyata failed to become elites like Kawai but at least their spirit is still strong. Nozomi asks why Miyata left judo. So wearing a cute swimsuit is her answer? Couldn’t she do that in her spare time? Back to the present, Nozomi and Miyata have the bad luck to settle in room 309 which is rumoured to house failures who cannot keep up with lessons. Other roommates are the clumsy Non Toyoguchi and the unsociable Kazane Aoba. Chaos ensues when Nozomi tries to talk to Kazane but accidentally rips the magazine she is reading. And Non is just being clumsy wrecking everything. Miyata is having a headache as we speak… She can tell where this is going.

Episode 2
Hitomi Hokuto is the instructor for the Keijo trainees. If you think swaying their butts as core practice is weird, wait till you see the butt walk. Then there’s the theory part handled by Miku Kobayakawa and there is science behind Ass-trology and Boob-logy. I kid you not. I guess this is kinda boring so Nozomi is jealous the elites already have practical training unlike the regulars still stuck at core training. The next training has passing the beach ball using their butt without touching the ground. You think it might look easy but with Non’s weird inaudible accent, Kazane’s inability to speak up and Miyata just plain sucks in giving correct directions, the team fails and ending up in last place has them earn more butt exercise. So they did a little soul searching about themselves and the need to work as a team despite Keijo is a solo sport. So while training for the next test, Miyata notices something and should let Kazane give the team instructions since she could judge where the ball lands via the wind. Since Kazane is still shy, Nozomi does the honours. During the test, all goes well with Nozomi taking the lead. But Kazane eventually opens her mouth for the decisive coordinates that allows their team to take top spot this time and earn them the gelato prize. It is revealed Kazane’s shy nature is because when Nozomi mocked Non’s accent, Kazane got scared and thus decided to hide her Hiroshima accent. So it is basically Nozomi’s fault. Nozomi is thrilled they are finally going to have practical training. We see Miyata ‘examining’ Nozomi’s stern butt and Nozomi trying to hound Kazane about her D-cup boobs. For this training, each team will fight a teacher. Room 309 gang will face Nagisa Ujibe. She might look like a fat seal but in her heydays, she was the slim slender sexy champion nicknamed Siren! Wow. She really let go, huh? Of course Ujibe is no pushover and she can move as agile as before. When Nozomi tries to nail her finishing move on her, it seems some force rips her other teammates’ swimsuit! Ujibe identifies this as Vacuum Butt Cannon.

Episode 3
After that butt cannon, Nozomi feels pain. Her hips are strained and she has to be taken away. But after some healing and massaging, she feels better. We learn more about the 3 fighter types that Keijo players are classified. Like infighter who uses close range and brute butt strength to push off the opponent. The outfighter uses speed to strike while the counter utilizes their opponent’s attacks and strengths against them. Nozomi is also visited by Kawai and Kusakai who heard her condition and Nozomi is pretty confident she can master this move to become the champion. Elite Rin Rokudou as the fastest outfighter in western Japan, thinks Nozomi is too good for the regular class. She is so fast that you couldn’t see how many times she attacks. So fast that her massaging of Non’s boobs made her go into ecstasy. Rin offers Nozomi to train with her instead of her weak teammates. Of course they don’t take likely over that mocking. Rin reminds them there is an event where all the class will take part in soon. Nozomi is called by Ujibe about her butt cannon. She is forbidding her to use it again. Despite being powerful, it has risks. Although some using it have become champion, they hurt their hips and retired early. Thus why many avoid using this technique. Nozomi is adamant and stubborn she wants to become better so to see her resolve, Ujibe makes her wear this lame looking suit, UTM (Ujibe’s Training Mail). Stiff as hell. Nozomi perseveres the hardship in doing everything wearing UTM till she can walk normally and flexibly again. For the class change race, regulars are given a chance to advance to the elite class. A race is divided into 4 competitors and there is at least an elite in every race. Miyata is in the first race which also has Rin. When it begins, Miyata quickly targets Rin first.

Episode 4
Because the platform is a see-saw type, the gravity is imbalance and before you know it, the other 2 unimportant opponents drop out. All that’s left is an epic butt battle between Miyata and Rin. But, seriously. Miyata tries to feign her off balance to catch Rin off guard but Rin is fast enough to recover. Then it becomes some high speed butt gatling battle. I’m seeing after images of butts! Despite the same speed and reflex, Miyata is on the verge of losing out because Rin has better lung capacity. Just before she can hand in (or butt in) the finishing blow, Miyata pulls up her swimsuit to wedge it between her butt. Her butt is glowing! WTF?! It makes her go faster?! Her butt is like an afterburner?! WTF???!!! There’s some explanation about pressure and speed but I don’t care about it. I just wanna see the butts :-). Rin is pissed off as this threatens her title as the fastest outfighter but it is no use as Miyata butts her off and wins the race. Both show great sportsmanship by congratulating each other. But the painful aftermath is that Miyata’s butt is now cramped up and requires Kazane’s massaging to ease the pain. Yikes. Non is up for the next match. You think she won’t stand her chance because all her opponents are giant Amazon women! The butt of elite Atsuko Yoshida is so hard like a rock that it literally bounces off any attack! That’s what happened to the other opponents. Out they go. You think Non is screwed, right? Well, as Yoshida attacks, their butts collide. But Non’s is so soft and bouncy that it bounces Yoshida’s away! Non wins it! WTF???!!! The third match is for Kazane and she has to deal with Kusakai. At first it might seem brave of Kazane to attack Kusakai upfront but soon the other opponents gang up to take her down. It seems with Kazane running a massage service, she manages to get data of everyone just by touching their butts! WTF???!!! Really. WTF?????????!!!!!!!!! So with Kazane knowing Kusakai’s techniques and telling to the rest, of course they want to take down the strongest first. But when they corner Kusakai, she then starts swaying her boobs. It hypnotizes them! OMFG! On a side note, you don’t even need such special ability to hypnotize men with those big tits. Kusakai easily pushes her opponents into the water. There goes room 309’s winning streak. Next up is Nozomi and she has elite Kotone Fujisaki as company.

Episode 5
Nozomi thought of being friendly with Fujisaki. By listening to the music she is enjoying? Well, it’s more like some BL drama. Yikes! Kawai reveals Fujisaki is a thoroughbred. Her mom was the Keijo champion and her sister is in the pro league. When the battle starts, it seems she doesn’t even have to face her opponent as her butt does all the attacking. It’s like it has a mind of its own! Cerberus that’s what her butt is called. Yeah, the butt is chasing you!!! And her butt crack is like a dog’s teeth biting you!!! I’m not kidding! Oh, the reason she looks the other way is because she doesn’t want her opponents to see her fantasizing face when she fantasizes about BL. Yeah, she’s that good. So eventually it comes down to Nozomi alone against Fujisaki. Nozomi thought she had her butt under control by vibrating her butt since Fujisaki is sensitive down there. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, that means Fujisaki can detect minor vibrations with her soles (the down there) and that is why she can sense where you are without looking. Nozomi is starting to look pretty annoying as she is able to dodge all of Fujisaki’s attacks and she can’t predict her movements. Eventually Nozomi uses her trump card. Yeah, it’s that Vacuum Butt Cannon. Cannon versus wolf. Is this match going to turn Super Saiyan? Eventually, the wolf gets blown to bits. Because some theory about centrifugal force via multiple rotation beats a move that only uses the platform. Whatever. Nozomi wins. Fujisaki thought she could find solace in listening to her BL. But this doesn’t excite her anymore. The match with Nozomi does. Oh dear. Is she turning lesbian? Nozomi is called by Ujibe and she fears her butt will be punished. But she takes measurements and notices how strong her butt has become. She allows her to use the technique as long as she doesn’t risk her life or career. Kazane is talking like she is going to quit as she is the only one among room 309 who lost. She gives her data she collected from other players. But they bring her to the notice board. It seems all of them got promoted to elites. Yay! She can stay. Despite her lost, Ujibe was amazed with her performance. Even more so, Kusakai used her forbidden technique and has been punished for it. Of course, Ujibe believes the quartet can grow further when they’re together.

Episode 6
The trainees head to Kyoto for a special training camp. Before hellish training begins, they are allowed to have fun first. Miyata has suggestions but Kusakai’s group is always louder with theirs so Miyata has to meekly tour herself. Of course that wouldn’t be right so Nozomi and the rest eventually go with her. They also get a chance to call home via pay phone. Nozomi seems to be taking an awful long time. Miyata calls home. Her mom picks up but dad isn’t willing to speak to her. While doing jogging, an old local lady runs faster than them. Not to be outdone by her, Kusakai, Rin and Nozomi try to match her speed but eventually lose out. This ‘old lady’ turns out to be the best Keijo player of Kyoto, Kyouko Shirayuki and she is roped in to help train the elites. She shows how superb her butt skills are. When Non accidentally trips and lets loose lumbers, Shirayuki uses her butt to push them all away! The elites will be trained via their respective category. As Nozomi is an infighter along with Kusakai, Kawai and Yoshida, they get Shirayuki. She might be strict with their petty flaws but is a pretty nice lady because she fixes up for them. In order to get to know them better, Shirayuki will have them fight a Keijo match one on one. This is to see and analyse their skills. Nozomi is up first and no matter what tricks she pull, Shirayuki dodges with ease and without effort. She is reading her like a book and toying her around. Eventually Nozomi is blown away with her butt technique called Anal Probe Missile! I kid you not this name!!! Shirayuki can tell Nozomi that her body has a serious weakness and is lacking something. Of course she must realize that herself otherwise she can forget touching her butt (in competitive sense) or become a pro butt banger. Why looking so shock Nozomi? Thought UTM did all the trick, did you?

Episode 7
Suddenly Nozomi starts stripping herself in front of Miyata to ask if there is anything wrong with every inch of her body! She’s worse than a flasher. After properly explaining, it is suggested she observe Shirayuki and match her moves like her. The other students now wear UTM as their training gear but this upgraded version is less taxing, making Nozomi heartbroken with all the pain she had to go through. While doing some water wading training, Nozomi realizes her attack power in the boobs is not that strong due to her butt becoming thick from UTM’s muscle training. She thought of continuing doing that training but Shirayuki advises it won’t work with pros as it is too obvious and to make full use of Vacuum Butt Cannon, she must push it to its limits. Thus a special training for her to pull out turnips with her butt. Yes. Pull out turnips with her butts. As expected, being a beginner means she only manages to pull out its leaves. Better learn fast because they have to buy up all the broken turnips. Mmm… I know what they’re having for the next meal and the next… Nozomi is frustrated that she can’t get it right. I think we can feed an army with all the broken turnips. At this rate she might harvest the entire field for free. Nozomi finds out that Shirayuki has her own busy schedule and promise to keep up. It makes her feel bad she was just thinking about herself. But that motivation still isn’t enough to make any progress. Even more frustrating when Kusakai joins in and successfully does it on her first try. Then inspiration hits her. Noticing the momentum on the cart containing turnips she is pulling, some complex butt thinking has Nozomi finally succeed. Still, more turnips to eat. There is this East-West War coming up. Aside Setouchi, the only other Keijo training school is Suruga. At this time, both sides compete to see who is better. Tomorrow will be the last training day so they are given a free choice to fight anybody in a mock race to see how much they have improved. It looks like Usagi Tsukishita has some sort of grudge on Nozomi and challenges her.

Episode 8
In short, Tsukishita admires Kusakai like a goddess. So this challenge is out of jealousy? We see the duo trading butt shots and Tsukishita seems to have the advantage due to her petite frame. Till Nozomi slams her Meteor Hip and takes the win. Tsukishita now becomes Nozomi’s friends although she still won’t lose out if it ever involves Kusakai. The Setouchi girls head to Shizuoka, the base of Suruga and where the East-West War will be held. Of course with better facilities and equipment, they are doing better training. Nozomi and co hear the Suruga’s teacher talking to the reporters. Not only she mentions Setouchi has never won against Suruga, it was okay if she badmouthed the students but they won’t let it slide when she badmouths their teachers. Nozomi wants to give her a piece of her mind but Maya Sakashiro stops her (with her butt of course). Wow. She bums her away with her blaster butt???!!! Nozomi also did some clothes damage to her. It was going to be an all-out war between both sides but the Setouchi teachers stop their students and have all them apologize for the ruckus. I mean, what good will it do if they prove their point this way, right? Later, the rules of the race is explained. It is a team battle with 4 members to a group. Best out of 3. Team 1 consists of Kusakai, Fujisaki, Miyata and Mari Murata. Team 2 will have Yoshida, Tsukishita, Kazane and Non. Finally, Team 3 includes Rin, Kawai, Nozomi and Saya Kogatana. Match day is here and the first teams go down to the battlefield. Suruga’s first fielding team consists of Saki Hanayama, twins Akari and Kano Fuyuzora and Nami Nanase (I kid you not her nickname is Ass Eater!!!). There’s some b*tch showdown between Miyata and Nanase since the latter mocked the former for running away from judo. But Miyata hits back because Nanase is an idol. An idol in this kind of sports? Time to settle all grudges in this jungle gym layout.

Episode 9
I’m sure Miyata is tired about remembering about her flashback regarding her father who disagreed letting her leave judo for Keijo. And sure she doesn’t need Nanase mocking her about it. All the time. When the match starts, Miyata dashes towards Nanase. She is a bit rash and Fujisaki manages to save her ass with her ass. I’m not kidding! The twins then lock and trap Murata with their dazzling butt to send this unknown as the first one out. The Setouchi trio then regroup and combine their might to bring down Hanayama. Miyata’s butt starts flashing because she uses it to accelerate. However it takes a toll on her body and her legs are temporary paralyzed. Fujisaki fights on her behalf but her wolf butt isn’t enough to save the day. Although she didn’t fall into the water, if your other body parts touch the stage, you are disqualified. This is what happened after Fujisaki gets exhausted from Nanase’s relentless attack. With Fujisaki’s emotional ‘handover’, I guess it serves as great motivation for Miyata to revive and attack. More flashing butt attacks? Too fast for Nanase to handle. But then her legs start to paralyze again and now it is Nanase’s turn to return the favour. After all that butt relentless smacking, I suppose what irked Miyata was how she once again spammed about their different Keijo leagues and she running away from judo. For the umpteenth time… This next move is really mind blowing. Miyata fondles her own boobs to erect her nipples. It’s flashing! OMG! Flashing tits! Then somehow she uses it to get Nanase’s swimsuit caught in it before using her judo technique to overthrow that b*tch. So you see, she didn’t forget judo. Oh, Kusakai has been smacking the twins into ecstasy with her butt till they drop out. So it is an upset victory for Setouchi! With everyone cheering for Setouchi, the best one would be Miyata’s parents giving her the thumbs up. Yeah, and dad was freaking confused seeing the different butt techniques but after seeing everybody supporting his daughter, he accepts that this is where she belongs. Can we stop airing footage of Miyata grabbing her tits and ass? It’s starting to look like porn…

Episode 10
We’re worried about Setouchi’s second team. Kazane is having nervous stomach cramps, Non wears her dress backwards and Tsukishita is fawning over Kusakai like a teenage girl madly in love. And they’ve got the fairy butt Ayase Kurogiri, the flaming butt Kei Higuchi, the dancing butt Mai Itoeda and the uhm, Black Beast Sanae Hououin to deal with. When the match on the twin aircrafts begin, it looked like Suruga side is trying to separate the Setouchi team to prevent them from doing their teamwork. However this is part of Kazane’s plan as they lure their counterparts to certain points and when given the signal, Setouchi jumps and causes imbalance like a see-saw. This causes Higuchi and Itoeda to fall off. Setouchi should think again if they are supreme with numbers. Because Hououin’s strength in her butt can easily push off Yoshida! Kazane’s plan now is for Non and Tsukishita t take on Kurogiri while she herself will fight Hououin. Don’t look down on Kazane. Because it seems she can imitate the butt techniques of her other comrades! Flashback reveals that her hand scanner allow her this ability. Because all her comrades want to help her out, they let her touch their butt! OMG. This scene with the girls lining up and putting out their butt to touch feels like porn!!! Heck, Kazane even has got this Archer’s Noble Phantasm move of Gate of Babylon. Gate of Bootylon!!! However Hououin counters by twisting her nipples which in turn becomes powerful drills! WTF?! Before Kazane is done for, Non jumps in to help. It seems Kurogiri has been made to run around and now her fairy butt has tire out and turned into some ordinary flabby butt. Huh?! In a last ditch attempt, Tsukishita sacrifices herself to take out Kurogiri. Kazane and Non’s butt are able to repel Hououin’s boob drills. But Hououin targets Non and she is sent flying into the water. In the final showdown where the both girls clash their boobs, both get blown off and fall into the water simultaneously. Is this a draw? Playback footage might reveal that Hououin touched the water first but because of her drilling boobs, the air pressure pushed away the surface of the water! OMFG!!! Thus Suruga wins and ties the score in this close fight.

Episode 11
Non and Kazane are sad, blaming themselves for the loss. Of course they have to be comforted and assured how they’ve given Suruga a run for their money, etc. In this third and final match on a floating castle, Suruga’s side will have Tae Yokosugi (giant fatty), Midori Morimoto (fluffy hair), Hikari Muromachi (Phantom of the Opera mask) and of course Maya. As it begins, Nozomi and Maya immediately clash butts hard. Then Nozomi puts her face in Maya’s butt just to analyse her butt power! WTF?! It’s ironic that the girls are playing such perverted game and Maya calling her a pervert? She beats up her opponents with shameless butt techniques but flusters like hell when one’s face is planted in her ass? Funny… We take a detour from their fight to see Rin and Kawai teaming up against Morimoto and Muromachi. Muromachi can flash her boobs to blind her opponents! Really! Rin knows the trick behind this flashing. As she uses the sun to reflect the oil on her boobs, Rin throws up her bikini top to cover the sun and then beat her up enough to remove the oil and seal her move. Too much boobs flashing already! Then Morimoto and Muromachi combine by wearing the same swimsuit to fight! Hey, 2 butts are better than one! If you’ve forgotten all about Yokosugi and Kogatana, here they come interrupting the match. They thought this unknown is easy meet so they separate as Morimoto falls to her samurai swing boobs and falls into the water while Muromachi gets taken out by Rin and Kawai’s double effort. Hey. Muromachi has got cards spewing out from her butt???!!! WTF???!!! Back to Nozomi-Maya match. The hard hitting butt match continues with Maya having flashbacks how everyone ostracized her because her butt breaks things. Really. Then her Keijo coach saw potential in her and took her in. Maya is in fear of losing that respect and place of belonging so before Nozomi can deliver the decisive Vacuum Butt Cannon, it’s like something inside Maya activates. Woah! She’s like a different person now! Literally, it’s like her dark alter ego just taken over.

Episode 12
Apparently this alter ego is called Kaya. She is rougher and more ferocious. Yokosugi tries to explain about this split personality. Maya was always abused and whenever she entered this state, Kaya will come out. Kaya didn’t appreciate this and knocks the fatty into the water. Kaya herself is a handful. Even with 4 outnumbering 1, they cannot penetrate her tight defence and offence. So one by one our Setouchi side gets knocked off but not before giving Nozomi some power push. This enables her to fight on par with Kaya. If that fails, Nozomi tries talking to Maya to settle their score. This actually makes her come back and take back her body. In this final epic power pulsating butt clashing tits bashing brawl, eventually Nozomi wins by evolving her Vacuum Butt Cannon, using that rotational energy to propel it to her piercing nipples!!! For the first time in 10 years, Setouchi wins and makes a major upset. Everybody rejoice. I guess it is appropriate to make the pun, “Hip hip hooray”? Maya apologizes to her coach who is also her mom for losing this important match. But to show how everybody values the player always, mom and daughter reconcile and a happy ending for everybody. An after party is held for the Keijo players. Both sides are now good friends and this is how it should be as they should just keep their b*tching rivalry in the arena. Maya is late attending it as she was catching up some sleep to restore her stamina. She expresses her wish to fight Nozomi again. You bet your butt they’ll meet again. The Keijo players graduate and now they have turned pro. They say their goodbyes and take group photos. As each player is assigned to the prefecture they come from, Nozomi and Miyata are in Hyogo prefecture. When they register, instantly their name alerts the other pros (weirdoes) of the same branch.

Rear-Ended & Bummed Out. No But(t)s About It!
Bummer. It’s over. Pun intended. I want to try and explain without making others misunderstand that I enjoyed myself watching this show. Uh huh. Yes, I was laughing at all the silly butt action and moves other than fapping to every juicy butt in-your-face camera angles. But I guess there is no point in trying to convince other ‘purists’ once they realize what this show is just all about. There is no way you can ever justify telling others you enjoy seeing this show without images of boobs and butts popping up in our minds. You’ll always be labelled a pervert anyhow. So screw all that and let’s just wish another season for more butts and boobs galore! I can’t wait to see what kind of butts Nozomi and co will bum(p) into next. Well, if the producers ever get the balls to produce another season.

Can you actually take this series seriously?! With about half the episodes and even more especially during battles you are going to see the girls’ butts literally in your face! You see all those freaking high speed and hip twisting butt attacks and thrusts that they pull are just ridiculously insane. It’s not possible unless you are a gymnast or contortionist. It gives a whole new meaning to the term butt hurt! Seriously! So it was a dilemma to whether call those battle scenes as action or fanservice but it feels kinda like both. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. With all those high level speed of thrusting as well as the energy projection discharged from their asses, you might think that the damage they take would have left some sort of permanent damage. Well, to ordinary people, that is. From sore butts to sagging boobs and damaged pelvic bones, man they’re going to have lots of health problems when they grow old. Worse than arthritis. Thus it makes me wonder if Goku and other Super Saiyans can actually beat all these butt power moves.

So yeah, I was like either laughing all the way or being flabbergasted with my mouth wide open to see such hilarious and impossible butt moves. Yeah, hats off and 100 points to those who really came up with such ‘creative’ and flashy tactics. I never knew butts and boobs can do a whole lot of such moves. Even funnier is how some of them are named. You got to really hand it to them (in the ass). I mean, Butt Flash? And that’s not just flashing your butt for others to see. What about Nipple Ripple Madness! Madness indeed! Then there are butts that seemingly shoot projection or hypnotise you?! And what about parodies of Gate of Babylon and even one parodying Attack On Titan! You can’t make all this sh*t up! And with so many Keijo players and each having at least 1 signature move, you bet your butt there are going to be lots of backside moves to keep perverts happy and others in shock. It is a good thing that there are quite a few varieties of moves involving tits and butts to keep us entertained. Otherwise we’d be even bored and thinking how cheap they are using the same moves for a few characters.

Therefore one of the most amusing things you get to ‘learn’ in this series is the hip word for the episode! I’m not kidding or making this up. Pun intended I suppose. I know they are just making puns of the Keijo players’ moves but sometimes you can’t help smirk at such ‘creative’ terms like K-acceleration Full Purge and Boobs Pressure Points in addition to Boob Hypnosis and Hip Toss. Man, this kind of moves could put those babes from Dead Or Alive to shame! Yeah, those Xtreme Beach Volleyball and Paradise games are nothing compared to this level of fanservice.

And yes, all this amazingly ties in cleverly to the fanservice and thus the real reason why we watch this series. How often do you see in other anime series whereby a female character or a whole lot bunch of them throw their asses to you? With such a butt galore, it won’t be surprise that this might be your new fapping and wanking material. You see the way the girls molest their own boobs and butts as an excuse to power up with ridiculous moves so much so it’s like borderline playing with themselves! It goes to show that you don’t need the classic cliché pantsu shots and boobs shots to do the ecchi trick. We may have already become tired of those. Even we may have sexual innuendoes fatigue. So what better way than to stir up all that horny lust again by shoving it outright in our faces. You can’t go wrong when you have butts and boobs in your anime, right?

Hence it is pretty much obvious with the fanservice as the main stay of the series, there is very much lacking of a plot. The synopsis tells it all about the sport and it is just to supplement the fanservice that they will be spamming. I mean, take a look at this season. The ‘plot’ revolves around battling among themselves and then fighting the other Keijo academy. Heck, you don’t even need to know the plot. Just jump in and enjoy the bootylicious booties. But don’t freak out when you see those asses suddenly having all its muscles contorting or the girls using their boobs like hands to clip and grab. Remember, these are trained Keijo players and to pull off even the most ridiculous behind moves, they have trained their muscles and ass qi whatever to entertain us. Hell, we guys don’t even care. A simple nice ass and boobs are all that is needed to enthral and hypnotise us. Period.

Talking about the game format itself, ass-uming (pun intended again) Keijo is a Japan-only sport (like sumo) so there isn’t going to be international opponents because sure hell the people from the west would have bigger hips and booties to begin with, right? It is pretty odd that as far as I know the Keijo sport is only an individual tournament whereas as I can see if there is a group tournament like the East-West War, it would give a lot of drama and storyline to play out.

We’re so into the butt action that I don’t think we really give a damn about the back stories of the characters. I’m sure each one do but we don’t really care. Most prominent of all would be Miyata’s judo background and family. But that isn’t really much in driving the overall story. Even Nozomi as the supposed main character, we don’t really see or learn her past of why she is so eager to become the best Keijo player. I’m sure there is a lot to it than just her weird accent and energetic lively personality. This means the rest of the characters from Setouchi are so generic that you would probably have a greater chance of identifying them on the butt techniques they pull off rather than their character. I mean, can you tell me more about Kazane and Non themselves rather than their butt scanning hand or super bouncy soft butt respectively? So the rest of the other characters seemingly follow the shonen type of route. Because of the tournament setting of trying to be the best of the best, expect lots of b*thces and b*tching moments too. Then you fight them, then you become friends later. Who cares about all that when you have butts and boobs to ogle at?! Viva butts! Viva boobs! Viva swimsuits! Yeah, at least these girls have such fine asses…

Art and animation wise, nothing out of the ordinary. You’ll be so enthralled looking at those butts and boobs that you won’t notice anything else. Of course they don’t want you to be looking at all the same butts so with a decent variety of colourful character designs coming in all shapes, sizes and accessories (why the f*ck does Muromachi need to even wear a freaking masquerade ball mask?), it gives a little bit more variety. Animated by Xebec who did To Love-Ru series, Triage X, Haiyore! Nyaruko-san, MM!, Ladies Versus Butler, Rio: Rainbow Gate, Kanokon, Softenni and Maken-Ki. Yeah, how kind of me to only list down all the fanservice and perverted anime series they did.

I didn’t give much focus on the voice acting since you know, we’re so focused on the butts. At least I did recognize Ayako Kawasumi as Maya. Not that it matters anyway. So to make this blog not sound it is talking about butts and boobs in every paragraph, I’m obliged to do this. Seriously. The rest of the casts I didn’t recognize are Lynn as Nozomi (Maya in Sabagebu), Mao as Miyata (titular character in Space Patrol Luluco), Kaede Hondo as Kazane (Kukuru in Fushigi Na Somera-chan), Saori Oonishi as Non (Aiz in DanMachi), Hibiku Yamamura as Kusakai (Hibiki in Anne Happy), Shizuka Ishigami as Fujisaki (Renge in Kyoukai No Rinne), Rena Maeda as Kawai (Nike in Soredemo Sekai Wa Utsukushii), Rie Takahashi as Rin (Megumin in Kono Subarashii Sekai Ni Shukufuku Wo), Minami Tanaka as Tsukishita (Agari in Shakunetsu No Takkyuu Musume), Mabuki Andou as Ujibe (Balsa in Seirei No Moribito) and Masamu Asano as Shirayuki (Hakufu in Ikkitousen). There are lots of other casts due to the sheer amount of minor characters but I’m too lazy so I’ll leave them out :-/.

The fast paced rock opening theme, DreamxScramble by Airi gets you into the mood and pace of this series. The ending theme, Fatas/Hip Girlfriends are sung by the main quartet of room 309 (if you still remember this room number that doesn’t make any more significance after the quartet advanced to the next level). Typical generic anime pop. Making the ending credits animation odder is we see this quartet chasing after a swimsuit being blown away in the wind. It’s like God is being a pervert and made it ‘fly’. Yeah, the lengths the girls would have to go through to retrieve it. And as proof that God is really a pervert in this anime, a giant cloud that resembles a voluptuous butt in the sky after the Nozomi gets back her swimsuit. A happy ending for them, a happy ending for us.

Depending on your stance in life, you may or may not like a series filled with only butts and on occasion boobs. In today’s era we live in where political correctness is so overrated, sometimes I feel the producers were bold enough to f*ck all that and go ahead to produce something that ordinary guys would decently (oh, the irony) enjoy. Some may scorn the cheap ass baiting fanservice trick to lure viewers in because might as well go watch full hardcore hentai instead of this softcore porn. Whatever your view on butts, remember each of us has one so there is nothing to be ashamed of. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be stuck with that same bum for the rest of your life. Unless butt liposuction… I just hope all this in the end won’t turn out to become the butt of all jokes because I feel like I can make lots of bum jokes and puns. But that would really be butt hurting.

To Be Hero

April 15, 2017

Superheroes come in all shapes and sizes. However most of them we see and prefer these days are all good looking and have muscles and abs. Quite the hunk, huh? So what happens if a superhero is a crappy ugly looking middle aged dad? You can never quite imagine that, can we? Thus To Be Hero pays ‘tribute’ to a hero who do not have the looks and even has an uncouth personality to boot. Okay, maybe he isn’t quite cut out to be a superhero after all. You see, our main protagonist is a handsome divorcee and isn’t a good father to his estranged daughter. All that changes when he is given heroic powers to save the world but at a price. His handsome face for an ugly dad face! Well, nobody said you had to look good to save the world. Do we?

Episode 1
This handsome guy, Oyaji is flirting a hot babe at the restaurant. He’s so hot that she immediately tells her vital statistics after he guesses correctly her hip size. She is willing to sleep with him but then Oyaji’s only daughter, Min beats him up and reveals her father works as a toilet seat salesman and that’s why he could make correct guesses. She also beats up the slut who continues to admire him. Yeah, is it no reason why mom left? Back home as he goes take a dump, he suddenly gets flushed down the toilet. He is met with this strange fat gay construction guy with falsetto voice claiming to be from the Space Peace Republic Alliance Hero Committee. He wants Oyaji to be a superhero to save the Earth from aliens but clearly he isn’t interested. Does he have a choice? Too bad Oyaji is already manifesting the superpower. When he is back in his own toilet, Oyaji realizes he looks like an ugly middle aged man! Hideous! He needs to think fast of an excuse to give Min but thankfully she is asleep. As he puts her to bed, he remembers how cute and gentle she was when young. He tries to kiss her but apparently she wakes up freaking out. Time for your beat down. Oddly, whatever Oyaji says in his mind, it is twisted into something perverted from his mouth. Like when he says she was born when he was 22, it came out as she is his favourite wank material when he was 22! No wonder Min believes he is a pervert and kicks him out of the house. He sleeps outside and the next morning, a couple of hot babes are running away from a cockroach alien. He just smacks it with his slipper. So where is his thank you kiss? Ladies ignoring him… It’s a sin to be ugly. Then this prawn alien comes to attack but is easily defeated. No happy ending for Oyaji because Min beats him up for stalking in front of her house. Meanwhile the alien prince, Moemoe is mad because he thought Earth had no superheroes. Oyaji needs to find a place to stay so he tries his weird next door neighbour, Yamada. Oh no. That perverted look… I don’t think birds of the same feather is right…

Episode 2
Yamada is dangerous… Not even the most extreme fujoshi would dream of this pairing! Yamada serves Oyaji a huge chicken egg. The chick is still alive! This freaks Oyaji out as he runs to the toilet (because his ass has a headache?!). He gets a call from Min but his happiness turns to despair because all the words he says still sound like a pervert. She hangs up thinking daddy has lost his phone to a pervert. Oyaji runs back to his home and at the same time, some pink yeti alien is at his doorstep ready to make his kill. But a little girl opens the door. Oops. He got the wrong number and gets instantly pierced in the head! Oyaji returns and luckily Min is out. He tries to return to the sewers via toilet bowl but nothing is working. So what to do but take a dump. Yeah, nothing is coming out either… Meanwhile a hooded chicken alien arrives at Yamada’s place. He is terrified to see the dead chicken. Cannibals! He runs away and perhaps a good choice because Yamada is seeing him as his ‘big cock’. Oh sh*t! What is he saying about threesome or foursome with their lover and son? Sick! Oyaji realizes he didn’t eat and that’s why he can’t sh*t. So when he sees the chicken alien, he wants to eat him! But then he sees Min talking with a hot boy her age and like all fathers would fear, you think he would allow this? He’s going to protect the hell out of her. So much so he ignores chicken alien’s shriek of death and tells him to shut up! That power of his instantly kills the fowl! I’m sure at this point the other aliens are afraid and wanting to give up on invading Earth but Moemoe knows Oyaji’s weakness…

Episode 3
Moemoe’s subordinates are explaining to him about the power of Earth’s humans. It seems men are weak but women are the powerful ones with their power grade ranging from A to Z. As proof, they watch a sexy swimsuit video and you can see the aliens getting nose bleeds and boners! Powerful indeed! Yeah, this means all the aliens are men. But they note that Min is the weakest (because she is flat?) and since she is Oyaji’s daughter, they must target her. Min is sad that Oyaji is missing and goes to the police to report. Oyaji has been tailing her and mistakes a boy following her as her lover. He sends Yamada to go flash at him. They get caught by the police. Min is happy when she thought Oyaji is waiting back at their home. However it turns out to be some smiley alien trying to flirt with her. She beats him up easily. Then a car alien joins in to help smiley alien but this time Oyaji puts a stop in its tracks. Car alien transforms but his limbs are too short. Oyaji fixes the engine thinking he heard some weird noise. Weird sexual innuendo scene here when car alien climaxes with engine oil flowing out… Min returns home, sad that dad is still not back. She starts crying and it is heart breaking to see Oyaji could only stand outside and do nothing. Stupid Yamada had to break this scene by bugging him. Next morning, Min thought dad is back in his room. Nope. But she is happy because there is a hot porridge meal on the table. Though, bread is her favourite but I guess it is better than nothing. Oyaji leaves happy but is stabbed in the heart by Moemoe! If you want something done, do it yourself.

Episode 4
While Moemoe is bragging, it seems there is no injury on Oyaji! Did he heal? The more Moemoe tries to hurt him, nothing happens. It gets freaking odd when Moemoe sounds sexually ambiguous that he thought he stuck it deep inside him! Look at all the blood! When Oyaji picks his nose and finally gets out his booger, Moemoe thinks this is his weakness because Oyaji gets disgusted when he picks it up. Guess what? Moemoe eats it thinking he could get powers! Then he gathers the entire world’s snot to make a giant booger to kill him. Oyaji has no choice but to whip out his slipper and slap him but accidentally slaps Min! Oh no. Instantly she gives the pervert a flurry of punches. This scene seems to resonate with Moemoe because that was how his mom beat him up. It was love. Yeah, this guy has fallen for Min. He wants to marry her! When he proposes, obviously she ignores him (I’m sure she doesn’t even know he exists). Of course he feels the need to offer something to steal her heart. Guess what his subordinates find out to win a woman’s heart on Earth? Give her an apartment! So they have to go through a real estate agent to get one? I guess these aliens are so poor they can’t even afford the many zeroes on any property. Yeah, their war chest can only get them a very small space. And nobody is going to offer them a 500 year loan! So how now? Moemoe sells his spaceship to a bunch of trannies! How the f*ck are they going to go home now?! But I don’t think he even made a killing with that sale and just got enough to rent the apartment for a year. Yamada treats Oyaji’s wounds. He is puzzled he cannot take damage or feel pain but when Min beats him up, it is painful and the damage is ever lasting. Oh, Moemoe is going to be living in this same apartment too.

Episode 5
Oyaji dreams he won the best toilet seat award. Then he gets busy designing new state of the art toilet seats, attend meetings and have an affair with lots of babes. Each time he ignores his wife’s call or brushes her off. Then one days he called for a divorce. Oyaji wakes up because Moemoe is trying to strangle him! Don’t count on it. He’s an immortal superhero. So while the duo argue over Min, speak about the devil, here she comes. Just clad in a towel! Yeow! What’s this super sexy fanservice in the morning?! Apparently the tap of her bath broke and she was hoping Yamada or somebody can come fix it. Of course Oyaji and Moemoe fight over this. She isn’t too thrilled about the perverts but whatever if it fixes the plumbing. So how is Moemoe going to do it? He is going to drink all the water?! Oyaji thinks this is his evil plot to turn Earth into a barren desert but looks like Moemoe almost drowned. Not a threat at all. As Oyaji fixes the tap, he remembers this has always been a problem. Mom always called him to fix it but he ignored her, telling her to just replace it. But instead one day he came back to find he was replaced (the divorce). It’s a heart breaking story and that is when Moemoe learns Min is Oyaji’s daughter. Trying to win his approval, he declares his love for Min but Oyaji beats him up. When Min returns, the tap is fixed although it is just mostly taped over. She thought it was her dad who fixed it. Meanwhile Moemoe’s dad the emperor isn’t happy his stupid son sold the spaceship to stay on Earth. Moemoe’s younger brother, Moemoemoe offers to deal with him. So when Moemoe is expecting Min at the door, but instead some death loli with a thorny tail!

Episode 6
This girl (Dataling as I should refer to her as) is actually Moemoe’s fiancée! Oyaji is mad at him for trying to hit on his daughter when he already has a fiancée but is Moemoe trying to play dumb by denying everything? When Dataling sees Min, she gets jealous and tries to attack her but Moemoe uses his body to protect her. Actually her tail didn’t even hit him because Oyaji grabbed it. It is revealed her tail is talking because the tail is the real body! Time for flashback. Many years ago, Moemoe had a sudden stomach ache and rushed into the girls’ toilet. That is where he accidentally saw Dataling taking a dump (it looked like vomiting of course). She is in distress because she ran out of toilet paper! Since he saved the day, she became his self-proclaimed fiancée although Moemoe rejects her because they are different species. But his father disallowed it because her species is the smartest and richest in the universe. In defiance, he goes on a trip to conquer planets to meet his yet-unseen wife. Wow. So this invasion has a backstory? Min doesn’t seem impressed and is disappointed to think her father was the one who fixed the tap. Suddenly Yamada comes out to give Dataling a mouth to mouth resuscitation. Yeah, he doesn’t know he is sucking her ass… Moemoe has decided to stay here to protect Min even if this means bringing more danger. But this time he won’t run away. As they both prepare to make a truce, Dataling suddenly starts leaking energy. They’re trying to plug up her holes before she explodes. That is when Moemoemoe comes in and sees this ambiguous threesome scene. He steals Dataling and runs away but she explodes in space. Everything solved by itself. Oyaji sees a shocking scene. His original self is at the door!

Episode 7
Oyaji is in a dilemma of himself. Is he the real person or not? His (painful) memories of Min are real. His photos in his handphone with her are real. So is he going to stop that imposter before Min opens the door? Too bad he decides to hide and let the imposter be with Min. What’s with the low confidence? Moemoe believes Oyaji is the real one because superheroes don’t lie. But they can determine if Oyaji is real or not via his fiancée. Isn’t she dead? The fake body was just like a handphone battery so they just need to stick the tail into a new body. Hmm… Who is it going to be? Yamada! After plugging it into his ass, Yamada revives into a refined man. Or woman! His balls becomes his boobs?! Dataling revives and says Oyaji needs to give a sample of his DNA for her to analyse. I don’t know why Oyaji is thinking of kissing Yamada (no doubt he looks smoking hot in female form) but Moemoe plucks a strand of his hair. After analysing, it seems Oyaji is not from this Earth. Listen. Not from THIS Earth. This means there is a parallel world he came from. When he got lost and sent back, instead of having 2 Oyaji with the same face, that is why he got transformed into this ugly dad. The only way to fix this is to get back to that committee via the same circumstances. But isn’t it impossible to be the only person in the world to take a dump at any single point now? It seems Oyaji has an idea as he takes Moemoe into the toilet… Meanwhile Dataling and Yamada starts a new love relationship. Elsewhere the alien emperor’s oldest and youngest sons fight over their methods to deal with Moemoe. While Moemoemoe decided to strike first (and died from that explosion), the older one, Moe decides to plan. Everything needs to be perfect. So he assimilates as Oyaji’s face. Despite Min berating him as usual, she actually loves him being back. And the imposter is playing his cards cool.

Episode 8
Moe gives Min eat some super watermelon. Now she is in dreamland fantasizing of all the good things. Everyone is a melon head! But the emperor isn’t pleased in watching this. It seems his goal is to conquer the universe and rid of all emotions in which he sees as weakness. Flashback time. When he was young, he had many pretty girls by his side. However they all died or get arrested. His parents worried about him arranged him to marry some giant fish monster. Yeah… He’s screwed. They have no children and of course they go to the doctor to find out why. Aren’t their different species incompatible? So the doctor gave them some gachapon as cure and they got 3 princes as we know them. But a few years later his wife died and left a revelation. She admitted in abusing the kids, slept with the neighbour and had a child with him, threatens him this will be leaked if he remarries and worst of all, she never loved him once. This made the emperor mad and thus casted away his feelings for his new goal. Seeing how his princes are useless, the emperor is going to settle this himself. Meanwhile Min is surprised that her dad has renovated the entire house with gold and shiny things. However she is not thrilled when she threw out her dusty personal box under the bed. When she goes out to see if it’s there, she catches those perverts peeking at it. Embarrassing albums, huh? She beats them up. The fake Oyaji suggests inviting them for dinner.

Episode 9
Oyaji remembers Min being a fussy eater who won’t eat her vegetables. He now feels awkward about it but now is even more awkward as Yamada and Min fight over meat and Moemoe trying to beg to the fake Oyaji to give his daughter her hand in marriage. Oyaji then takes Moemoe to the toilet so that he could be sent back to his world as he can’t stand watching this anymore. If he didn’t put it so ambiguously like taking off your underwear… I’m not sure about Moemoe’s ability to control sh*t but during this argument they wonder if that fake Oyaji isn’t an Earthling because if so, he will not be affected by Moemoe’s power. Min has had enough of this farce and returns to her room to look at her personal box. As she goes through it, she finds something strange in a book. Moe is commenting at the frail human emotions and plans to switch the drink with some despair spell. Unfortunately he drank it himself. I suppose the plan failed because Oyaji pooped a lot and is still here. They go back out to see fake Oyaji depressed and trying to kill himself with a fish! Subsequently all the guys drink the tainted booze and all become depressed too. Man, it’s chaotic. When Min comes out and wants an explanation of things, she sees the ugly Oyaji doing some chopstick move that only her real dad could do. It seems there is a drawing in the book that has this ugly dad as a superhero protecting the family, fighting and defeating the enemy. That is when the emperor crashes into the place. Not a good time to sh*t in your pants.

Episode 10
Min remembers crying profusely when mom left them. Dad tried to appease her by saying she went on a long journey but she knew he was lying because he heard about the divorce. She blamed him for it. Over the years, she turned into a delinquent and picked fights. Although her dad showed concern, she didn’t show the least bit to him. Now Min tries to fight the emperor but gets owned. He assures he won’t kill her so fast as she will need to watch him massacre Earth before dying a slow death. Min remembers she was sick from an allergy and dad was desperately trying to seek help. She wakes up only to find Moemoe desperately trying to revive her. When the princes realizes their dad is here, Moe tries to lap it up to dad that he is just a step away from success and just needs another chance. But when he reveals his perfect disguise that had him transform to different women and stay in dad’s bed all night (gross!), dad beats him up. Exposed! The emperor claims Moemoe as the only true heir because Moe is a useless cross-dresser and Moemoemoe is dead. He must take the throne for his sake and the universe. This prompts Min how dad always had last minute change of plans all for the company’s sake. Why is everyone so damn selfish? Moemoe stands up. The throne doesn’t interest him as he has found love and warmth in this place. The emperor is impressed and wants him to take responsibility of it for himself. This means the emperor pounds him to bits as he destroys the entire apartment! Time for the final showdown with the hero. Oyaji is mad his home is gone and his toilet is destroyed. Somebody is going to get some serious payback. The emperor is going to erase him and not leave a speck behind (because Oyaji could guess his wife f*cked another guy and had his child). Oyaji takes out his slipper to slap him. Nothing happens. He then admits up till now he doesn’t know what his superpower is.

Episode 11
The emperor gives a powerful punch that Oyaji flies away! He is going to continue beating him up but is tired of hearing Moe’s ‘sexy’ moans and kills him off despite his pleas! This is when Oyaji realizes he doesn’t have any superpowers nor was he a hero in the first place. That is, till Min tells him straight he has always been one. The emperor could have finished her had not Yamada and Dataling jump into to fight him. Wow. They have more superpowers and acting more like a hero than Oyaji! They are assisted by Moemoe who is gathering up faeces to throw at his father. Say what?! But the emperor still overwhelms them as he chokes Dataling by her neck. As he is unsure why humans continue to fight despite being defeated, Dataling narrates from Yamada’s memories. Despite the sick and perverted nature of trying to commit suicide and flashing, she still felt some sort of warmth that gives her peace (does this mean she is twisted too?). The emperor releases her from that dream by killing her! Yamada is distraught by her death as well as traumatic memories of his family leaving him. He charges straight at the emperor but gets vaporized. This only serves to make Oyaji feel guiltier as he believes he is the cause of all that has happened. So if he wants revenge, he has no qualms to be killed as long as he spares Earth. The emperor swears on that but first Oyaji must proclaim he is a loser and wants to die 3 times. As Oyaji recites that, Min disagrees and pleads that he is a hero and the only one who can save the world from this evil. But the emperor finds her annoying and zaps her. OMG! They’re killing almost everybody in this episode!!!

Episode 12
While furious Moemoe is throwing everything at the emperor, Oyaji reads the book. He remembers getting off in the middle of work to attend sick Min. Then he draws this superhero book for her in which coincidentally coincides many of the events we have seen here. After the emperor finishes off Moemoe, Oyaji says there is one puzzle he still hasn’t resolved. Oyaji bought a sports car when his wife around and this doesn’t sit well with her so Oyaji argued he deserved things like this for his hard work. This made Min continue the drawing and made Oyaji the bad guy! Therefore the emperor is him! Or at least his dark side. As both of them start a super fight, this is what reality is. That all we have seen could be just pages from the comic book! Because in actual fact Oyaji is rolled into hospital after collapsing from overworking while a very concerned Min stays by his side. Yamada reveals more truths to Min that Oyaji has been working 8 part time jobs. She thought he was the president of his own company. When Min fell sick, his colleagues were ‘kind’ enough to let him go to her. He gave his project details to them. Unfortunately they stole his idea and made him the bad guy. Oyaji has been working hard to convince others it was his idea. After his wife left, he worked even harder. Yamada talked to him and felt pity and told him to tell Min the truth. However Oyaji won’t because he doesn’t mind being criticized or hated. In Min’s heart, a superhero must never give up. Min reads this story by Oyaji’s comatose side. She is sad and wants daddy to wake up and do things together again. She wants him to stay by her side and watch her grow up so that she can be the superhero to protect him. Then one morning, Min and Oyaji get into an argument about toilet paper. The typical love-hate father-daughter relationship. But this last part is confusing. Oyaji wakes up with Moemoe trying to strangle him. Dataling is still alive telling us this is reality and not a dream or flashback. Moemoe forces Oyaji to take a dump to meet that committee guy again who tells him to go to whatever world he wants. Because there are multiple parallel worlds! Because they don’t want it all to be a dream!

To Be Father
Wow. This is really super fun. I didn’t expect to enjoy this so much and find it super funny but yeah, the jokes may be sometimes gross but as long as I was laughing, it doesn’t matter. Though, my only small complaint was the ending. The so called twist in the final episode was confusing and that took a lot of fun out of my enjoyment as I try to understand and piece together what was happening while the episode is running out of time. So you can say I am still pretty confused about everything that has happened because it’s like the producers are trolling us with all that happened. Instead of making it all some weird dream, everything happened because of this multi-verse thingy. So not too sure if Oyaji got a happy ending with Min but at least in one universe (at least that is what I am assuming), he got that dream right. Not too sure if I can call this an ending because sometimes I feel the producers ran out of idea after all that nonsense and gave us this crap to end and fool us all.

First of all, I don’t think I have laugh as hard as I did in recent years (or was it months?) for an anime series other than Gintama. Maybe it could be the toilet and crappy jokes. Ah yes. This series is filled with lots of them so if you can’t stomach the toilet jokes, fart jokes and all the other sh*tty jokes, you’ll definitely not find this anime funny at all. Offensive? Who cares about you oversensitive people?! It was really nonsensical and fast paced (but not as fast as Teekyuu) and I think that is where the effect of the slapstick humour pays off. Everything was already so nonsensical, oh heck, just go with the flow.

Of course the biggest role in making this anime funny is the characters. Despite how weird and silly they all are, if you like this anime, you’ll find it hard to loath them. But basically this entire series could also be seen as one big drama attempt of father and daughter trying to bond back together. Oyaji looked like he never cared for her till he turned into an ugly dad and Min despite trying to stay tough and chastise her dad is actually a big tsundere who loves daddy deep within. They really play and build up well the tension and drama effect up till the final episode. It was really heart wrenching to learn the truth (assuming it was) and all the more reason why you want to vouch and support for them to end up being a family again. Yeah, they really pull our heart strings there. So did being an ugly dad give Oyaji a chance to become a good father again? Only time can tell. And I’m sure Min would also realize that even if Oyaji isn’t the best father, she is still her father and the only one she will have till the end of time. Aww… I feel like wanting a big group hug! But the thing that bugged me is Oyaji’s powers because it is inconsistent and at times he could just display it without knowing and at times when call for it, he is just a normal person. It’s like the superpower is trolling him. Or could it all just be our imagination?

Yamada may pass off as the quirkiest character because of his suspicious and perverted looking picture. This guy has all the tell-tale signs that your children and daughters should keep away from! This guy is dangerous! Especially when he has delusions of doing threesomes and foursomes with his entire family, that says a lot. But I wonder if the real Yamada is this sick. Because the actual person might just be an ordinary and decent person as portrayed in the final episode. Oh hell, blame it on the multi-verse theory! Moemoe too is an idiot and I suppose everyone becomes one when he falls head over heels over a girl. Heh. A universal sign of love even if you’re an alien. Dataling’s existence feels like a running joke so she could be stuck into someone’s ass like charging a phone battery. The emperor who looks menacing and the most evil of all evils, in some ways he too is an idiot. So he turns out to be Oyaji’s dark side? Please, I don’t want to be confused anymore…

Honestly, if you look at the artwork and animation, they are pretty crappy. But because we have been told about the theme of this series and how ‘crappy’ the jokes are, we are now more inclined to forgive the crappy art style. Yeah, I guess it was this simple. Because we’ll be laughing or cringing at all the silliness that the mediocre quality artwork don’t matter anymore. Unless it was done on purpose but that’s not the point. Recently, the Shanghai based animation company, Haoliners Animation League has been making quite a splash in the anime industry for the past few seasons. They’re infusing a bit of their Chinese trademark (like names of characters) into animes as you can see from their other works like Cheating Craft, Hitori No Shita: The Outcast, Chu Feng: B.E.E. and the Reikenzan series. They’re really trying to make an impact and strike while the steel is still hot.

Voice acting is pretty okay with Kenjiro Tsuda as Oyaji and Tomokazu Sugita as Moemoe as the only recognizable ones. Moa Tsukino who voices Min, this is her first and debut role. At times she might sound a bit raw and amateurish but still she did an overall good job. The other casts are Yutaka Aoyama as Yamada (Jura in Fairy Tail), Shouzou Iizuka as the emperor (Kokujouji in K), Nozomi Nishida as Dataling (Makina Nakajima in Macross Delta), and Kazuhiko Inoue as Moe (Gildarts in Fairy Tail).

The opening theme is Ainikoiyo by Brats. Typical generic rock music to get into the comedic action of the series. But the more amusing one is the ending theme, Watashi No Papa Ga Chikyuu Wo Mamoru by Kazuyo Lin. What is interesting is that this song from what I can hear is sung in Chinese! It is quite rare to hear other languages in Japanese anime. English and sometimes instrumental are already rare but for me, hearing Chinese in an anime theme song is my first. Making it cuter is the video game-like beeping sound the singer sings. Cute. Making it funnier is the animation as we see Min in a tower defence-like game as she shoots her plungers at all the weirdoes and perverts trying to approach her apartment.

Overall, this series tells you a lot of things. Don’t judge a book by its cover because it is the inside and your actions that truly counts. It is a story that perhaps most single fathers could relate if they have a teenage daughter growing up. This is a heart-warming story of a father trying to reconnect with his daughter again and the sacrifice that they have to go through to realize what is important. You don’t need Superman, Batman or Spiderman to look up for inspiration. That superhero is just right next to you and even related. Man, this anime is so touching! So deep! Deeper than my constipation! Yeah… Therefore you can forgive the toilet and sh*t jokes that they spew at us for these very important lessons. Yeah… Next time you start thinking your father is crap, just remember that despite his bald, flabby belly and wrinkled skin, lies a true superhero father who loves you. Oh, I’m going to tear up right now. Salutes to ugly dads! Forever the real heroes in our hearts!

Hantsu x Trash OVA 3

April 14, 2017

There is only one reason why we watch Hantsu x Trash OVA 3. There is only one mission for this third OVA. You very well know what it is. Don’t make me spell it out again. So get to it on the double! Stop wasting time! What else could be more important than boobs and tits in this world?!

Mission CKB
Hamaji is surprised the guys are finally getting excited about water polo. Not really. Led by Nakajima, they are revved up to peep on girls and confirm their nipples’ colour! Oh yeah. That’s more like it. At first Hamaji didn’t want to join in but after Nakajima squeezes his balls to remind him to become a man and knowing he has Hagiwara in mind, everything is set to go as planned. Because knowing a girl’s nipples colour is every man’s dream! During the water polo practice, Hayami notices the boys staring at her. She dislikes it but doesn’t mind if it’s Hamaji. At night, the guys peep from the girls outside their bath. Your usual tits fondling and free tits fanservice. Hayami asks Hagiwara if she is dating Hamaji. She feels relieved that she is not. After Hamaji switches with another guy, that idiot couldn’t control his urges after seeing those pair of rocket boobs. He starts screaming about it, alerting the girls. Time to retreat. Despite missing their best chance, those pervy boys won’t give up. Yeah, there are other ways. Like purposely putting lingerie in the middle of the hallway so when a girl bends down to pick it up, a guy in the ventilation is waiting to snap her tit when it exposes. Or like Nakajima who is hiding underneath the drainage in the girls’ locker room. And that rocket boobs guy has been in a trance since so when he sees any pair of rocket boobs, he assaults that poor girl! OMG! Animal! She beats him up and has a baseball bat shoved up his ass!

In another practice, Hayami notices the guys staring again. Feeling uncomfortable, she dives into the pool without warming up and her leg cramps up. Hamaji is first to dive in to save her. In the infirmary, she is resting and alright. Then Miyoshi teases him to look at the nipples of a mature woman. Oh heck. She pulls his face to her tits and lets him suck them! Feels good to be violated by a virgin, eh? Later when Hayami wakes up, after thanking him she wants him to look at her boobs. Say what? So let me get her logic. To overcome her fear of men staring at her boobs, she wants him to look at them. Okay. Sounds fine to me. And so Hayami lets him unhook her bra and stare at those delicious pink tits. He got extra bonus when she suddenly kisses him! She then sprints out realizing that she is in love with him. We figured that out a long time ago. She bumps into Hagiwara and announces that she will not lose out. Hagiwara thinks she is referring to the water polo game. Meanwhile Nakajima and co are being confronted by the other girls who have got hold of their nipple colour chart. Beaten up and the chart torn up for good. The dream is dead.

Nipples, Boobs Are Pointless Without Them!
So what else can I say? Did you enjoy them? Because it seems by this time they decided to ramp up the fanservice by giving us more exposed tits compared to the previous OVAs. You thought it would be more of the same silly fanservice but then they decided to engage a higher gear and make us have boners throughout the 15 minute duration of the show. Yes people, despite the horrible animation that remains the same like the previous OVAs, because of the free tits and rocket boobs, we are too distracted watching them than noticing the atrocious art style. Because of free tits and rocket boobs, all is forgiven. But I noticed no obvious lesbian stuffs from Shinozaki on Hagiwara this time. Unless you consider that boobs fondling moments as one.

As usual, the plot is pretty much non-existent because it already doesn’t make sense why there is a water polo club for both guys and girls. I mean, in real life there are but when you have it in anime, the reasons are obviously shady. With all the pervy antics, you would think that the guys would have been kicked out by now but here they are and I guarantee as long as they have their seishun with them, they’re not going to stop letting their libido take over. And maybe Miyoshi just loves to see the perverted antics of those youthful kids. Sighs. Nobody wants an old mature woman so what better way to get her arousal via watching others? The only progress if I should say is the confirmation of Hayami’s feelings for Hamaji (obviously) since this OVA focuses mostly on her. And at least Nakajima has somewhat of an active leading role here instead of being relegated to weird gay dream sequences or unimportant extra.

They should just stop releasing periodic releases of OVAs and make this series into a proper TV series for a single cour even if its usual running time is half than the normal. That way we can expect more boobs and tits fanservice at regular intervals. Haha! Ahem…Because we all know that the plot is going to suck in addition to be typically cliché and the animation isn’t going to be top notched with super special effects whatsoever. Just cheap thrill fanservice for poor and cheap horny guys who can’t even afford to pay for porn ;p. Now, tell me again why would you as a guy want to join a water polo club? Rocket boobs FTW!

Rewrite

April 9, 2017

There was quite a little hype surrounding the anime adaptation of Rewrite. Long time fans won’t be surprised since this series is adapted from the visual novel game of the same name which is written by no other than one of the famous and prominent visual novel studio company, Key. They have a reputation for making visual novels with great storylines and characters. With successful past adapted works like Air, Clannad, Kanon, Little Busters and Angel Beats, they are further cementing their legacy in this industry. I might have not played any of the visual novels and some of the series I might not really sing high praises for it, but something tells me that their brand of storytelling follows a certain pattern. You have elements of fantasy and supernatural. A peaceful place starting to move as fate of the future inevitable event sets in. Harem. Protagonist plays a key role in determining the outcome. Some sort of twist to it all. My curiosity was to see if it fits this pattern. Yeah, really. And reading from Rewrite’s synopsis seems to feel it is going to have all that.

Episode 1
Starting off this 1 hour special, Kotarou Tennouji must be happy meeting this cute girl in his dream. Until he gets stabbed by her! Thank goodness this is just a dream. Right? Kotarou is then tasked by Rikako, the mother of his childhood friend, Kotori Kanbe to bring her back since she went ‘missing’ again. Kotarou knows where Kotori will go. There is a forest she comes to play all by herself. Along the way he meets this strange, uh, Pokemon creature in which he identifies as a mammoth! He finds Kotori sleeping by a tree and brings her back but when she wakes up she isn’t aware of where she was. Kotarou tugs in for the night and he gets a rude awakening when somebody (that cute girl sneaking under his blanket) bites his hand! In class, Kotarou tries to be friends with this grumpy delinquent, Haruhiko Yoshino. Well, if he keeps bugging him, definitely he is going to get angry and challenge him to a duel. And he doesn’t mean a card game but a fist fight. The class rep, Lucia Konohana only to be ‘tackled’ by her homeroom teacher, Touka Nishikujou. Kotarou continues to piss off Yoshino and it gets worse when Kotori enters the fray and sides Kotarou. When Kotarou is sleeping back in his home, he felt his body getting heavy. It’s like something is on it. He peeps under his blanket and sees that cute girl staring at him! Yikes! Is she a ghost?! No time to think. He fainted. Next morning as he ponders about this, he stumbles upon Chihaya Ootori who is somehow stuck on a tree. After all the follies in trying to get her down without seeing her panties (he did anyway), he tries to help her carry her box but it is heavy. It contains lots of those old heavy books. And would you know that Chihaya is the new transfer student in Kotarou’s class? Because he keeps identifying her as her panties design, she feels like throwing the desk on him. Why the heck nobody notices this? Later Kotarou helps out Shizuru Nakatsu who is part of the disciplinary committee and is having problems blowing her whistle. Inoue from the newspaper club tries to write a story thinking Kotarou is trying to ensnare Shizuru by covering up his mistakes. She tries to get him to admit to the rumours that he paid his way to enter this school. Of course he denies all accusations.

Kotarou hears from Kotori about the school having a famous witch with supernatural powers, Akane Senri. There are rumours she has the highest authority among all students, commands magic over everything supernatural and has managed to advance to the next grade without being expelled despite rarely showing up in class. She suggests meeting her in hopes he might meet someone special. The duo snoop around for more information and when they enter the supposed room, they get the scare of their lives when they switch on the wrong light button because it gives out a hideous scream! Prank? Nobody is in so he leaves a note. That night, Kotarou realizes he is trapped in his own room. There is some invisible magic barrier that prevents him from breaking out. It’s that ghost girls stalking him! When he cries out Kotori’s name for help, everything returns to normal. He revisits the classroom again and sees his note has been responded with a survey test. After spending the day with Chihaya and showing her around town, Kotarou gets an email to come to a classroom alone tonight. He thinks he might be given the run around doing errands because one riddle leads to the next. Horror time begins when he spots the ghost girl. He starts running but has the corridors been this long? And the stairs going on and on forever too. When it finally ends at a door and he goes through it, he smacks some little fairy who wants to suck his blood! Luckily her friend admonishes her for being rash because they are not to be seen by humans. They introduce themselves as Pani and Gil. I supposed they are lost in some strange forest and their worst fears come true because there is this huge last boss tentacle monster attacking them. They are saved thanks to the ghost girl fighting back with her whipping ribbons. The monster is destroyed but the dimension is collapsing. Kotarou falls through the abyss. Before he knows it, he is back in the school’s corridor and a statue of Colonel Sanders is before him. As instructed, he takes it to the classroom where the witch welcomes him.

Episode 2
Akane introduces herself with all the mumbo-jumbo but since Kotarou doesn’t look surprised, she quits all that acting. After experiencing that death defying phenomena? Can this even move his heart? Apparently Akane doesn’t believe all the supernatural encounters he said. She reads his survey and wonders if he did it seriously especially for the final question that involves him changing either himself or the world. To help with his ghostly visit problem, she gives him a paperclip and a few paper talisman charms. Well, it might look like a hoax but as long as it works, right? Akane will have him report and follow up on this in which she wants him to join her club, the occult research club. That night, he dreams of this girl, Tomoko. She is one of the paper talisman and is here to protect him. Although she was easily defeated by ghost girl, it was enough to make her lose interest for the night. Kotarou must be really sad that the paper talisman is all squashed up. During recess, Kotarou tries to play a prank on Yoshino by making his parfait spicy. Yoshino knows better and won’t fall for it. In trying to convince him, the parfait is swapped with the one Lucia is having. In order to protect her, he quickly eats it all! This irks her as she beats him up. Kotarou spots Shizuru sleeping by the tree and rests next to her till she wakes up. Touka must have some sort of fondness for her because she loves to squeeze and hug this eye-patch girl. When Kotarou reports to Akane, she doesn’t believe it happened because she just gave him ordinary stuffs with no powers. Although this is the occult research club, she doesn’t do anything related to it. She merely took over the club and is now her private room. She thinks all those supernatural stuffs are just his imagination. This has him challenge her to see who is right. Akane mocks that Kotarou has super powers because he believes they exist. He suspiciously denies it. So if Kotarou manages to prove the existence of the supernatural, he wants to fondle her boobs?! WTF?! She agrees as she is confident they don’t exist anyway. The talisman again helps Kotarou get a good night sleep as it is able to make ghost girl lose her interest for another night.

Kotarou introduces Kotori to Akane as he wants her help with his investigation. Kotori is not amused hearing the boobs deal but Kotarou convinces her about her money and power that he is after. After they set up the club’s website, Chihaya drops in and is surprised to see the duo in this club. Chihaya knows Akane and has a few ties with her. Kotarou must be dreaming about groping Akane’s boobs but only to wake up in horror realizing he is groping ghost girl’s boobs! Even ghost girl didn’t want to stay and harass him further. Kotarou also brings Shizuru to join the club to help out. She gets a call from Lucia asking about her whereabouts so cheeky Kotarou has Shizuru say word by word that she is engaging in something steamy with Kotarou. Before they can correct this misunderstanding, Lucia becomes faster than Usain Bolt and comes all the way down here just to beat the crap out of him. He gets another beating after learning that boobs deal. Despite Lucia calling him a pervert and all, Shizuru stands up for him. She thinks it is normal for boys his age to think about boobs. Because she’s is the flattest? Oops… So to keep an eye on him, Lucia agrees to join his motley crew.

Episode 3
When Kotarou enters the clubroom, there is this obnoxious guy telling him to leave. He is Sakuya Ootori and somewhat a butler (knight in shining armour as he puts it) who sucks up to Akane. He is also Chihaya’s older brother and is here to bring her lunch she forgot. In short, both guys hate each other. Well, this series is not big enough to have 2 guys for a harem. In class, Kotarou asks Yoshino as he notices Lucia is always wearing gloves. They speculate she is hiding some sort of terrifying power but they go overboard with their chuunibyou as they act it out aloud in the middle of class. The occult club receives a message from the website that a tsuchinoko (obese snake as Akane puts it) on their campus. They go look for it and when they spot it, Kotarou has a hard time catching it but it was easily caught by Chihaya. It seems there is an outsider named Tsukuno who is also hunting this tsuchinoko. She is an UMA hunter and is trying to catch it for a great prize (which is of course a scam). But since her day job is a clerk, break time is over and she returns to work. Kotarou joins Shizuru eating lunch. Because her eye is itchy, he wants to look at it thinking it is an infection. She feels embarrassed but since he promises not to tell others, she relents. Her eyes are different colours and he views them as beautiful. Kotarou almost gets beaten up by the tsundere for almost recycling the wrong aluminium and steel cans. She teaches him how to crush those cans and sort them properly for recycling. Kotarou goes too far when he teases Lucia as the rep to save the world and environment and gets another beating.

That beat up took him the entire day to recover so it is already late at night when he goes home. On the way back, he sees the ghost girl being chased by a demonic dog. He decides to help her as he unleashes his Rewrite that gives him super powers. Kotarou is cornered by a psychopath who thinks he is a fellow hunter and extra competition. Knowing this guy is bad news, Kotarou makes a run for it but he summons his demon dog to hunt him down. Eventually Kotarou can’t outrun the dog but before he gets devoured and collapses, he sees some hero taking it out. When he wakes up, he is at the park’s oden stall. A couple of old guys saw him unconscious nearby and brought him here. When Kotarou explains what happened, they seem to believe him. Well, they are online game enthusiasts. Sometimes they get mixed up with games and reality. Sougen Esaka runs a small antique shop so he hopes Kotarou can drop by when he is free. Shizuru patrons the stall and is shocked to see Kotarou here. It’s like she never expected to see him here. When he shows her the scar on his hand from the attack, she doesn’t see any. Was it a dream? He thinks his abilities have been rewritten. A few oden regulars join in and they start teasing Kotarou as Shizuru’s boyfriend. Kotarou then accompanies her home as he tells us she lives alone in a run-down apartment. He wants to help her but his hands are tied. Kotarou has the bad luck to bump into Sakuya and as usual the latter spews more insults to remind him like as though fate has drawn them together as enemies.

Episode 4
With boobs as motivation, Kotarou is enthusiastic as he tells Akane he knows someone who knows about UMA. However he doesn’t have the address to Esaka’s place and since only Shizuru knows it and she is not around, the girls lose interest and leave. Kotarou looks around the bad part of town by himself and stumbles upon a group of delinquents. They claim they are under King whom we all know as Yoshino. This is his area. But since Kotarou says he is Yoshino’s buddy, they become his friends and lead him to Esaka’s shop. Shizuru is here. Esaka hands him a few photos of UMAs but they are blurry and even so not close to the monster Kotarou saw. Goal to boobs getting further… Shizuru has a CD but no player since she is poor. Rich girl Chihaya won’t understand why she can’t buy one. So Kotarou has to lend his. In class just as Kotarou thinks the ghost girl has never shown up since, here she comes right into class! Only, everyone else can’t see her. She blatantly bites his arm before leaving like as though this is her house! He wants to show the bite mark as proof but Shizuru wants him to follow her as thanks for the CD player. In a neighbourhood, Shizuru from outside shows the real home where her family lives. Kotarou is stumped when Shizuru leaves instead of greeting her mom. Even puzzling, mom doesn’t recognize her. Shizuru has Kotarou say her name. When he tries the second time, he seems to have forgotten but tries hard again and manages to remember. Shizuru has this power to erase memories, thus her parents don’t remember her.

Shizuru explains her happy and peaceful life with her parents till an incident one day where by some monster caused some fire in her home. Shizuru was blinded in one eye and her parents were close to dead. A small unit chasing the monster saved them. Her parents recover and Shizuru gets her sight back although her new eye is of different colour. But this is the start of torment as her classmates often bully her about it. Mom also had phobia on fire. One day, she overhead strange men talking to her parents that they will give them large amounts of money if they allow Shizuru to go to a certain institute. Shizuru volunteered and after a week when she returned, her parents were fighting. She realized money changed their kind nature. She wanted them to get along so badly like how they used to that her power went berserk and wiped out a big chunk of their memories. Kotarou thought there is hope since he remembered but Shizuru clearly states this one is beyond repair. Nevertheless she is happy he came along. Touka drives Kotarou back and he thinks she is part of that institution. She doesn’t give any clear answer and hints Shizuru wasn’t born with such power as the institution ‘creates medicine’. Shizuru is leaving a poor life because she is saving up to buy a house. At school, Lucia refuses to help a bunch of boys pick up and throw back their baseball. She will not touch something dirty. Kotarou help out on her behalf. Chihaya berates Lucia for being a clean freak but she snaps back that she it is the flowers she doesn’t want to touch. Or anything else she doesn’t want to touch. But she can touch and push away Chihaya? Lucia feels hurt over Chihaya’s insensitive comments about her twisted feelings. She is also frustrated because she is living this way not because she wants to.

Episode 5
Kotarou receives mail about the case of a cursed girl name Haruka Asahi. If you attempt to wake her from her slumber, you will be cursed. Story has it that she was from an orphanage. Plants and animals she touched will die. Eventually this also affected some of those in the orphanage and it was closed down. 7 years ago a boy, Ryuugo Kishida transferred to this city and told about this. He died shortly. Kotarou notices Lucia isn’t around so he goes to talk to Shizuru who reveals about Lucia’s secret since he is her friend. Because Ryuugo was from the same elementary as Yoshida, Kotarou bugs him for help. Despite saying no and all, he warns to watch his back when the glass shatters and even gives him a roster of those classmates. Kotarou goes to copy it and Lucia thought he left a copy behind. But this isn’t his copy. It is written with a warning not to wake up her slumber! Then the glasses break! Oh no. Lucia learns from Kotarou about his investigation although he tries to keep his optimism that this copy might be a recycled paper and somebody must have thrown rocks. Lucia on her way home is spooked when little Haruka pops up before her. She warns not to wake her up and reminds they both share the same sorrow. Kotarou tries to call the people on the list but all of them refuse to answer his questions as they are scared that the curse is coming back. Haruka continues to haunt Lucia and remind her their suffering and that they are cursed. Though, Lucia tries to fight back she is trying to face this head on. As Kotarou continues his investigation, he now gets spooked when it is Lucia (looking possessed) warning about waking her slumber. She then collapses. He brings her back to his place and when she wakes up, he assures he didn’t touch her or anything. It gets serious when Lucia demonstrates anything she touches withers and dies. Kotarou thinks it is his fault for continuing with the investigation when he remembers Shizuru’s words. Lucia suffered this curse of withering and killing living things when she was young. She convinced herself it was her fault and filthy hands. She tried to overcome this by wearing gloves which was her only respite. Kotarou tries to calm her down but she pushes him away. Oh no. The curse has affected his hand.

Kotarou visits the orphanage. He easily jumps over the high security fence and snoops around. Inside the building, as he looks at the group photo, it breaks. He calls out Haruka. Or rather Lucia. He knows they are the same person. Because when he called one on the roster, that person has moved but the old address experienced the glass breaking curse. Surely, the curse couldn’t be making such mistake. After all, Lucia also had that list. Lucia admits she was the one breaking the glasses to stop him from investigating. However her powers to shatter glass and wither life is real. All she wanted was to hide her hideous past and true identity. At this point Kotarou collapses from the poison covering half his body. Don’t worry. Before Lucia can blame herself, he’ll use his Rewrite to make his body accept the poison. It works. Now that he has accepted Lucia’s world, he is now her friend so don’t ever say sad stuffs like she’ll always be alone and can never touch anyone. When Kotarou is able to touch her without being affected, she breaks down and cries in his arms. Sorry to interrupt but Touka is here to take them back. Kotarou is curious of her organization so she explains it because it beats having him snoop around. Her organization is called Guardian and they are trying to gather people with super powers to protect the world from destruction. Right now in this city, there is an individual codenamed as Key who is trying to destroy the world. Of course there are groups who are supportive of Key’s effort. Gaia is advocating for Earth’s destruction so a new one could be reborn. Touka wants him to keep all this a secret or else. He too has his own conditions. He wants Lucia to make handmade lunches for him. In a maid outfit. I second this!!!!!!!!!! I see no problem in this small price for something big.

Episode 6
Kotarou is kidnapped. Don’t worry. It is Lucia. She put on a maid outfit to serve him. I guess it’s too late to say that was a joke, eh? So as not to put her effort to waste, he eats her handmade lunch. He learns Lucia’s abnormal taste buds. That’s why she was able to handle that spicy parfait. Shizuru has been helping her to create antidotes to keep her poisons neutral. Lucia surprises Chihaya by apologizing to her. Likewise she does the same. They notice Lucia clinging closely to Kotarou. She claims they are friends. Shizuru also does the same and this makes Lucia jealous. With everyone back to their normal, time to do some occult club activities like solving cases people posted on their website. However all turned out to be some sort of hoax. Like that legendary sword, it’s just some toy shop in a candy store. Maybe it never got bought? Yoshino has trained to pull it out but Chihaya easily pulls it out. And broke it. What about laughing echoes in the dark? Well, aside the porn magazines around, there are laughing mask props lying around. The ogre who lives at night in the school building? Just Yoshino flexing his karate chops. Even the T-rex that lived till the 2nd century turns out to be a movie poster. So you bet the girls aren’t interested in coming along to investigate the rainbow paradise at some river basin. I mean, they have to trek through the dense forest and deal with bugs. I think Kotarou vetoes it all so they’re coming.

Kotori thinks they need a bodyguard so she brings along Chibi Moth. Remember that cute little ‘mammoth’? It’s a dog. She picked it up and now it’s her pet. She claims it is 3 times stronger than Yoshino. Chibi Moth proves it by bumping into Kotarou’s gut and sending him flying away. After trekking into the forest, they stumble into this rainbow swamp. It’s hideous by the way. They think the toxins from pollutions must have made it so and the trees and animals in it are dead and rotting. It is too much for them to handle so they decide to leave. On the way out, Kotarou stumbles into a familiar scene. When he sees the ghost girl, he immediately remembers this is the place where he killed her in his dream. Back at the clubroom, Kotarou decides to take his mind off by writing what has happened although he has no intentions of publishing it. Akane mocks his simple conclusion of environmental damage. She argues while a large portion of humanity is indulging in pleasures, another portion is suffering. How long more till Earth reach a point of no return and humans go extinct. Unless we of course migrate to another planet. Kotarou still believes there are some good people trying to save the world. In that case Akane has a very simple answer on how to stop this. No, not stopping factories. Destroy all humans! Next day, Inoue calls Kotarou and claims she is going to investigate the swamp since she has good information about it. A few days later, Inoue’s fellow club member talks to Kotarou and asks if he knows anything. Because Inoue has not come home ever since.

Episode 7
With Inoue’s disappearance, there are directives for the occult club to suspend all activities. Only their club is targeted because they suspect Kotarou who was the last person to talk to her and with the occult club as a shady club, they might be looking at disbandment. Kotarou gets passionate arguing about them being together so I guess the girls change their gloomy mood to be on his side. As Inoue’s disappearance isn’t made public yet but the search is called off as they assume she is dead (no body is found), Kotarou thinks that everything will be okay if they solve this. So the gang head back into the woods. Kotarou waits as the girls go take a toilet break. But he realizes they are taking too long. He goes to look for them but spots a shady character in a robe. Then a pack of demonic dogs hunt him down. Kotarou Rewrites his powers and escapes from their jaws of death via conjuring up some blade (Vega’s claw?). He follows Lucia’s voice and sees her and Shizuru fighting, uhm, feathered dinosaurs? Of course they don’t need his help as they are skilful in taking them out with their blades. They explain that these monsters are from Gaia. Perhaps their base is nearby or searching for the Key. They tell him to go look for the other girls who got separated from them. Kotarou manages to reunite with them as he tries to convince them to get out of the forest. But suddenly a huge wyvern hovers over them. It attacks Kotori but Kotarou uses his hand to block. He tells the girls to run for it as he gets dragged around and his blood sucked. His Freddy Krueger blades may have saved him again but it is ghost girl who ultimate destroys it. Kotarou fears her and is about to attack her but is stopped by Kotori. Obviously she can see her. Ghost girl goes away. When they reunite with the others, it seems the other girls are in a showdown. Lucia and Shizuru just finished cutting down the last demon as they question Akane and Chihaya. When they came into the scene, some of the monsters didn’t attack them and instead sided with them. Furthermore, they didn’t look surprised to see the monsters. Akane and Chihaya admit they are from Gaia. When Lucia attacks, Sakuya blocks it. He reveals he works under them although this incident has nothing to with them and just happened to be an unfortunate accident within the organization. Sakuya takes his ladies and leave. Kotarou tries to catch up but faints. He returns to his normal school life but is obviously spacing out more often. He acts like there is nothing when Yoshino asks but keeps thinking why he didn’t heed Sakuya’s warning of not meddling in other’s business.

Episode 8
After that incident, Kotarou has not seen the girls (all absent from school). Kotori too is absent from class and doesn’t reply to his messages and Inoue still has not been found. That night when he tests his blades in his room, ghost girl comes in and for the first time speaks. She says something about an emergency before collapsing. Next day, the school informs its students that Inoue is found recovering in a hospital in the next town and her memories are still fuzzy. Kotarou is glad that Shizuru finally shows up but she is here to say goodbye. Kotarou thinks someone ransacked his home but he believes it is that ghost girl. This funnily cartoonish scene shows ghost girl following Kotarou like a shadow behind and each time he turns around, she quickly follows his back. This goes on till she is discovered. Had fun? She introduces herself as Kagari. That is all she remembers and needs help to find herself. That’s you, Kotarou. He think this is all a dream but next morning he wakes up to find her sleeping next to him. In school he is shocked that Kagari is a new transfer student and is facing off with Yoshino! Now everyone can see her? Kagari easily defeats Yoshino and everyone is excited she will be the new gang boss? Kotarou quickly takes her away. It seems she has learnt all about humans. From the internet. Ah, yes… The internet… So she enrolled in this school out of jealousy? She also thinks Kotarou is in love with her thinking he is being mean to her is a sign he likes her. Curse you internet! He shows her around school like the cafeteria but since she is making a ruckus about the coffee, tour’s over.

At the park, he is surprised to see Inoue. Is she safe to be discharged? Because she doesn’t know who he is. She passes him a memory card as she notices she has been clinging on tightly to it. Meanwhile Akane attends a meeting of Gaia guised under an environmental protection company named Martel Group. Among the topics discussed include the failure to find the Key. It seems Akane is kept close to Gaia’s saint, Sakura Kashima as it is believed her days are numbered and she is to be her successor. On the Guardian’s side, Shizuru and Lucia are seen exterminating demons along with Esaka. He has retired as commander but called back to help out. They wonder if this place holds the Key as it is a place for many Gaia followers to gather. Even so, Esaka doesn’t think it is a reason for the abundance of monsters. Sakuya seems to have captured Pani and Gil. All because they played a prank of dropping bird sh*t on Chihaya?! He has a job for them. Kotarou goes through the memory card and finds photos of monsters, demons and mysterious robed people. Kotarou is happy he finally gets message from Kotori that she is recovering from a cold even though he knows it is a lie. In fact, Kotori is in a mythical forest surrounded by mythical beings.

Episode 9
So the house is too small for Kagari and now she wants Kotarou to take her around town? Whatever. He realizes he is being tailed by several parties. They are the fairies, Chibi Moth and an idiotic agent from Guardian. Kotarou takes Kagari and run into the alley but stumbles into Yoshino and his gang. They let him pass to buy him time. However the agent gets owned by the non-human side and then gets beaten up by Yoshino’s gang. Just not his day. Kotarou is forced to go get coffee for Kagari since she has already become an addict and she is acting ambiguously like a deprived ‘love slave’ in public. He meets Lucia at the vending machine. She assures him that although Guardian and treating him and Kotori as subjects with special care, if nothing happens, surveillance on them will be dropped. Kotarou and Kagari are being confronted by that psychopath who is pissed he might have done something to his demon dog. He is obviously from Gaia and sets his dogs to attack them but Kagari’s ribbons easily destroy them. Before the guys can fight, Chibi Moth distracts him to let Kotarou and Kagari escape. Back home, they find the place ransacked. No, it’s not from that psychopath. It’s Gil and Pani. How the heck did they get trapped in the fridge and roach motel? As Kotarou tries to interrogate them, he gets a call from Kotori to come to the forest with Chibi Moth. She knows all about Guardian and Gaia and that Kotarou has been marked by them. She pulls them into her portal that leads to her fantasy world-cum-secret base. Kagari thinks Kotori knows a lot about her and instantly becomes her pal and dumps Kotarou. Thanks a lot.

Kotori begins her explanation that she creates all the demons here including Chibi Moth. Although her goal is to safeguard the Key, she is neither with Guardian nor Gaia. Long ago, a summoner sealed his knowledge into a mistletoe to leave it for future generations. 10 years ago Kotori had an accident and fell off a cliff. She wandered into this forest and plucked this mistletoe. She became a druid inheriting this knowledge. In exchange for a few of her wishes, she shoulders the responsibility of this duty to protect the Key. Kotarou doesn’t recall any of this. At this point, you might have guessed that Kagari is the Key. Sort of. She brings him to some energy spot which gave birth to Key and Kagari in human form. That rainbow swamp is actually caused by this energy spot. With this, Kotori can control demons without sacrificing her life. Although she doesn’t know why Kagari was born, it is believed that salvation will come. But nobody has witnessed it and they will only know until it happens. Kotarou isn’t fazed by all this. Because this is his proof and ticket to grope Akane’s boobs! Esaka briefs his Guardians and warn them about Gaia bringing in a large number of summoners here. They are to focus in getting the Key. Gil and Pani report to Sakuya of Kotori’s hideout. Akane witnesses mages after mages trying to revive some T-rex. She believes Sakura really wants to end the world.

Episode 10
Kotarou is shocked that Sakuya is here. When stupid Gil comes out and blows his cover to get his revenge, more shockingly Sakuya reverts to butler mode. So he isn’t going to kill them? He was sent by Akane and Chihaya to look after them as precautionary measures. Sakuya trains Kotarou how to fight. The butler might be skilled in fighting but he makes the worst coffee. Fail! Since nothing much is happening these few days, Kagari is bored. It is suggested they take her to town but it would be dangerous if she is seen by relevant parties. Don’t worry. That’s why Sakuya will tag along. After doing their shopping, Sakuya brings them to see Akane. Kotarou learns about this saint and Martel thingy. Akane asks Kagari a few questions but she doesn’t know. I mean, she’s still searching for herself. Not sure if that expression means Akane is disappointed or relief. But she is surprised to learn that the reason Kagari is sticking with Kotarou was because he offered the best gift: Coffee. Ah, coffee… Akane remembers Kotarou wrote “I don’t know” in the survey. She will do what she can in the place she belongs and cherishes the time she spent in the clubroom. In that case, does this mean she has lost her bet with Kotarou? Boobs time! How can he think of something so perverted at this moment? Because boobs transcends everything! So stop whining and let me have those jugs! However Kotarou was just trolling her. He just wanted to see her squirming face and will do it later back in the clubroom. She is a saint now and not the club’s president, right?

Esaka shows footage to his team of a girl in a forest. Shizuru recognizes her and once everyone knows they know each other, she is transferred to other duties. Sometimes honesty doesn’t pay. At first Shizuru thought of doing this alone to save Kotori but Lucia stops her and will do it on her behalf since she isn’t thinking rationally. Kotarou continues to train under Sakuya. The latter advises him to stop using his Rewrite so often because there is a price to pay as he will stop to be human after overusing it. Kagari asks Kotarou why he is trying so hard. To protect her. He doesn’t know why but he is truly doing it for her. It is also he has found a place where he fits in. She takes it as because she loves him. Then she bites his right arm. Love bite? Kotarou notices she is a bit odd when she says something about homo sapiens. Akane wants Chihaya to leave Gaia to where Sakuya is as she believes she was always sceptical of Gaia’s policies. After this war, she hopes everyone can reunite again. Lucia is in the forest and sees several hooded Gaia people entering. She thought of letting them lead the way to Key’s location but after remembering Kotarou, she decides nothing else takes priority over protecting her friends. She attacks them and after knocking out a couple of them, she faces off with the lava summoning Midou. Because her sword is no match for the intense heat, she uses her poison to kill everything around. Midou is also poisoned but in his desperation to kill her, uses all his power to summon a huge lava blast. She is blown away, impaled by his spear and falls down the abyss.

Episode 11
Flashback of humankind throughout the ages killing each other. The watchers grow in despair seeing this that their modest desire turned into disgust at mankind’s nature. They question if mankind truly deserves to be a part of the future. Chihaya is lost in the forest when she stumbles upon Lucia who is barely alive. Luckily Kotarou and Kotori are passing by. Kotori uses her healing powers to heal the wounds but it is ultimately Kagari’s ribbons that saved her live. Kotarou is so happy and grateful, he hugs her only to be unappreciated as she gives him whiplashing slaps. So you don’t want him to love you back? Akane is starting to inherit memories of Sakura. This means grandma is going to kick the bucket as she has just collapsed. Akane then sees Midou coming back and heavily damaged. Midou warns not to stop him because her friends are his prey otherwise he will kill her even if she is from Gaia. Akane says she can give him a new power but on one condition. She shows to him the Earth Dragon (that T-rex) which is Gaia’s ultimate weapon. He can have this as long as he protects the Key and keep her alive. As for her friends, he can do whatever he wants with them. Midou likes this and agrees. We see the girls in the forest bonding, even a little hotspring fanservice and the unfortunate Kotarou having to stumble into them bathing naked. I suppose to change the topic, he asks why are Gaia and Guardian fighting if they have the same goal to fight humanity. Obviously it their different methods. Gaia believes in eradicating humanity and then restarting the world anew whereas Guardian believes in preserving mankind as it is now. Their intention with the Key also differs. Although they do not know what kind of salvation it will bring, Gaia intends to shelter and protect her while Guardian wants to dispose of her, believing it will maintain status quo. Lucia assures she will not harm Kagari as she saved her life. This has Kagari in her rare moment coming up with some thoughtful wisdom. Why do humans continue to fight each other and slowly destroy the planet when they could have used their energy better and resolve differences with conversation. Despite the negative aspects of mankind, there are still some good aspects so Kagari will continue to watch a little longer. Midou and his subordinates make their move. Esaka and Guardian realize that a couple of their scouting parties have gone missing. They are assuming a powerful demon has appeared most likely because of the appearance of the Key. They will be sending combat troops to an area where they went missing: The forest.

Episode 12
Kotori senses someone has breached the barrier. That moment Kagari goes crazy and becomes broken. Midou is here to cause chaos and he has brought his T-rex to play (Sakuya is kept occupied by his subordinates). While Chibi Moth and the forest familiars stall the beast, the rest make a run for it. Kotarou is shocked to see Kotori’s parents fighting Midou to buy them time to escape. Eventually they lose. Kotori explains they are just demons created by her magic. When she first became a druid, she used that power to recreate them. That’s why they’re so lifeless. Midou’s lava wall separates Kotarou from the girls. Their fight is interrupted when Guardian’s troops intervene. It is that oden stall guy and his regulars. But upon seeing Kagari, they turn their attention to kill her. Shockingly, Midou fights off the Guardians to let Kotarou escape with her. Before Midou could finish them off, he has past his limits. Flashback of his tragic childhood whereby his friends were executed by soldiers. Midou then disintegrates. Kotarou is still in shock because Midou’s last words to him were Kagari will destroy the world if kept alive. In a dilemma as he tries to ask Kagari for the meaning of salvation, he collapses from exhaustion. Luckily Shizuru who has defected found him and takes him to reunite with the other girls. They are now in some secret stone city base of Gaia. So when Kagari decides to stop being a doll, she starts crying because she couldn’t find a good memory involving mankind. Was that why she was spacing out so long? Well, that says a lot about us. Sakura is starting to make her move. A member isn’t pleased she is trying to start a war and really end the world because the Key is just a tool to monitor destruction. Eh? What? He is devoured by a demon. I guess Sakura must really hate the world so much to see it end this way. When she activates the Key, Kagari goes berserk. The tree in the secret city grows. Kotarou and co find themselves back in town. Demons are everywhere killing the people! The end is near! This is salvation?

Episode 13
In addition to monsters killing everybody, natural disasters are occurring everywhere. There is also a giant monster rampaging and I am guessing it is Sakuya who turned into one after surpassing his Rewrite limits. But when Kagari wakes up, the destruction stops. Esaka arrives and knowing about Kotarou’s stand, there is nothing more than to fight each other. Obviously Kotarou lacks experience and would have been defeated had not Shizuku come into the scene in this epic but ridiculous way. She rides her bike up to bump Esaka off and then they square off with each other. Kotarou realizes his body is slowly turning into wood. Kotori admits this is her fault. It is because Kagari is inside him. Eh? What? After Kotori’s accident, Kotarou was also involved and was dying. Kotori didn’t want him to disappear like her parents so she made a wish to Kagari to save his life. Therefore it is Kagari’s power that is plugging up the wound and keeping him alive. But it’s not possible at this rate. That is when those fairies decide to do some good by using their lives to patch him up. Bye. Kotarou feels better but the song of destruction continues. Akane has now become the new saint as she orders the Key to end the world. Kagari screams as she slowly turns into a tree. Kotarou also continues to turn into one as he tries to reach for her. His struggle seems futile until he accidentally grabs her boobs. She snaps out and ribbon smacks him. Do we have time for this kind of joke?! And she can think this is a sign he really loves her? The world is ending, can we be serious here? Kagari says the end of the world is her will. Of course she also mentions the positive things this world has offered her. Coffee and internet. Jokes aside please… She thanks Kotarou and the girls for giving her precious memories and worth her time. She hints she would let him save the world by killing her. She doesn’t mind dying by his hands. Of course he can’t do that. He can only cry and hug her. Lucia joins Shizuru. They disappear. Akane laughs like a maniac with the world’s end only to come to her senses when loli Shimako holds her hand. They disappear. Chihaya carries Sakuya away. They disappear. Kotori is holding injured Chibi Moth in her arms. They disappear. Defeated Yoshino. Disappear. Defeated Esaka. Disappear. Kagari and Kotarou… They turn into trees. The entire world turns into one big ball of light souls. End of the world. Goodbye. Yeah Kotarou, it’s your fault for not having enough time to come up with something better.

Re: Zero – Restarting Life For A New World
Wait a minute! This is how it ends?! How long has it been since I have watched an anime that ends with a bad ending. No, I do not mean an ending that is unsatisfying or sucked. A bad ending as in a bad route. Since School Days? But don’t fear. Because there is another season as announced at the end of the final episode to redo the whole thing again! Basically, rewriting the entire story for a better ending, right? Yeah well, I can see why this series is named so and for more than a dozen episodes they trolled us with it. And as to why this isn’t necessarily a bad end is because in the final scenes it shows Kagari on some sort of monolith that resembles like the lines of a big motherboard. I’m thinking those are different routes and possible futures. Ah, see where this is going? And as we see the route of this anime vanished, I guess it tells us a lot that this bad end isn’t meant to be. Sort of. Can’t end a series having chosen the destruction of the world, can we? And with me feeling confused and disappointed it ended like this, at least I am glad they killed off everybody and save the trouble of tying up whatever loopholes. Woot! I supported the end of the world!

At first the story might be a little hard to follow. Just like when you start off watching a new series, everything is brand new from the plot to the characters thus it is a crucial time for viewers to learn about the setting and the likes. Because the first half deals with introducing the characters and then spamming a few unexplained supernatural events (especially the first episode which was already twice as long so you can bet it is a little ‘heavy’ for me to digest) so it doesn’t make sense at least to me. It was going in all directions as I was trying to figure out what was happening. Kotarou’s Rewrite seemed to very vague and lacked any sort of explanation of what it really was and its origins. What was the deal with those pair of fairy idiots who appeared in the first episode and then disappeared a long time before suddenly appearing back later? They were also seemingly rushing things when we have an episode focused on Shizuru and Lucia in succession and perhaps the other girls will follow suite as well. Not until the second half till the revelation something about world destruction thingy and some of the pieces of the puzzle put together did it make a little sense. But then, it was already more about the opposing sides trying to up each other to get the Key for their own organizational goals. Which was pretty obvious who the Key really was from my perspective. So this is the plot of the series? Why do I have this feeling of doing puns of the series’ name to rewrite the story?

Yeah, speaking of Key themselves, probably I have noticed in their adapted works that they love promoting themselves and advertising their brand a lot. So you might have observed that their name is placed in product placements in the series especially from can drinks from the vending machine. I guess it is better than making up hilarious parody names of popular brands to avoid getting sued. So much so it was pretty obvious that they love themselves when they decide to call the key revelation after themselves (pun intended too). Despite Kagari could mean bonfire (or something sexual…), I suspect they named Kagari from the word ‘kagi’ (key) so as to not make it obvious and to avoid people getting confused or playing wicked puns had she been obviously named Kagi.

In short, I have found many comments and reviewers saying how this series is a piece of garbage especially the story and the characters. Not sure if they are Key fans or just casual viewers who just started watching anime or this is their first time watching a Key adapted visual novel. I didn’t read much in detail so as not to be ‘corrupted’ by the hatred and all. I just wanted to find out how this series stand as compared to other Key productions. I guess one even joked how the anime was aptly named and that the producers should just, wait for it, rewrite the script. Get it? I know I didn’t enjoy this anime because of the confusing things at first but I won’t go so far to pan it that bad. In today’s age of the internet, expectations are so high and attention spans are so short. After all, maybe I’m just simple and dumb.

The characters are nothing much to shout about and as cliché as you can get so as to help drive the storyline. That’s why when you have Kotarou as your main protagonist, he doesn’t seem that all special because for those who have been watching practically the same thing every year, we could guess he looks like a normal high school student but isn’t because he has some sort of hidden power. And because he is the main character, he has to show how much he cares about his friends as he goes around helping this and that. Oh, so as not to make him seem so perfect, they give him this ‘flaw’ of being a pervert. I mean, no man is truly perfect when you’re thinking of groping your buchou’s boobs as a reward, right? Yeah. Great motivation (for us viewers to continue watching). Great fanservice comedy (because boobs). And then they decide to put in some twist of how Kagari and Kotarou are ‘related’ in the end but I’m so confused at that point that I don’t know anymore.

Main characters are nothing without their harem. At least for this genre. And so this series has a list of yet cliché female protagonists. You have the (easy going) childhood friend, the (super) tsundere, the (eye-patch) loli, the (idiotic) airhead and the (moody) cold introvert. Guess what they all have in common? Heck, they all have a tragic past to tell! Am I seeing a pattern here? Because girls like Inoue whom we know nothing much is ‘exempted’ from part of Kotarou’s harem and look how she turned out? She literally lost her mind. So yeah. Tragic pasts for female characters give our main lead guy the motivation to help them and in turn they emotionally break down and rely on him and hang out with him for the rest of it. It’s an unofficial way to say that they are officially part of his harem. Though, we can see this coming from a mile anyway. I want to note something about Akane. She might look serious each time she is facing her computer monitor. But she is actually playing a first person shooter game! Yeah, this is the most important and busy thing to her.

Then you have Kagari who starts off as a mysterious character initially. At first she is intriguing because as I have said how the first half of the series doesn’t reveal much and the plot is just about everywhere. Therefore there is this mysterious and curious feeling of who this ghost girl is as she constantly stalks Kotarou in his bedroom. Even if it looks funny, it’s just creepy to think some mysterious girl is giving him love bites. But the moment she starts to talk, that is when she turns from a beauty mystery to just an idiotic amnesiac tool. You might have noticed she then gets hooked on the internet, gets her knowledge from there and gets addicted to coffee (for some reason she calls it fee-cof in reverse). But I can connect with her that after clicking a few sites on the internet, she thinks she knows everything! I know. I have that feeling all the time… So with her like this, it’s like saying she has to be the funny girl before sh*t starts to hit the fan. Because once her true purpose is revealed, she has to play her role and can’t go back to that idiotic ways again. So if you dislike her in this role she is created for, we can always think back at all the good funny times we had with her.

Other supporting characters also feel forced in. Like how Chibi Moth is supposedly the cute animal mascot of the series. You can’t do without one these days if you want people to at least think of one kawaii aspect of your anime. What about Pani and Gil then? Are they supposed to be mascots too? Yeah, sure. If Chibi Moth is more on the cute furry side, then the fairies are more of the idiotic side especially Gil’s role seems to be the idiotic comic relief (aside Kagari being in retard mode) and gets whatever his payback plans backfired. They try to justify their existence by sacrificing them to do something good. Like it all mattered anyway. Sakuya is like the sarcastic guy to rival Kotarou despite his skills that could rival Shizuru and Lucia. Of course he too needs his own running joke by being a bad coffee maker. Esaka and Touka play supporting roles and don’t appear much so we don’t really give a damn. Even Esaka’s final fight with Kotarou feels forced because Kotarou has to at least face off with one of the members of Guardian he knows who isn’t part of his harem, right? Most disappointing is Yoshino whom I thought would play a prominent role but is relegated to just a minor character. I believe he has an important role thereafter but for this season he is reduced to just somebody who is full of angst and the leader of a street delinquent group that we don’t really care. Aside that, he is slowly becoming a joker character. When Kagari becomes a joker, he too becomes more joker material because he can never beat this ribbon girl. Still remember that Tsukuno lady chasing after the tsuchinoko? No? Doesn’t matter. Nobody remembers her because it’s like she’s forgotten anyway.

The artwork and animation is pretty standard and expected from a Key production. Thus you have some character designs looking pretty familiar with past Key works like Air, Clannad and Kanon. Is it me or does Midou somehow reminds me of a grownup and taller Edward from Fullmetal Alchemist. That red cape and blonde spikey hair… The backgrounds are also okay and I won’t go so far to say that they are a masterpiece but it’s nothing to shout about it. CG is also used although it is mainly reserved for the demons and monsters. I am not sure if I want to call their designs poor or horrible because you know, there are monsters so they should look this scary. Oh, sorry. They look crappy is the right word. I mean, that T-rex creature is supposedly and Earth Dragon but it has no arms! Not even tiny arms to make it an outright copy of a T-rex! And this is supposed to be Gaia’s ultimate world destruction weapon… I’ve seen scarier stuffs that will end humanity. Although the series is from Key, the anime studio producing this is 8bit who did the Grisaia trilogy, Infinite Stratos, Tokyo Ravens and Absolute Duo. There might be some artwork differences in the anime adaptation but at least it is still close to the original and key aspects (pun intended) retained.

Voice acting is pretty okay with me only recognizing Kana Hanazawa as Kagari and Eri Kitamura as Akane. I haven’t heard Chiwa Saito in a long time so I couldn’t recognize her as Kotori. It was also surprising to hear Masakazu Morita as Kotarou. Not that I recognized him at the start or ever but if you remember the guy who voiced Bleach’s Ichigo, yeah, this is him. He sounds so different. This is what happen when your character is always in angst mode for an entire series. It gets imprinted in your head forever. Other casts include Risa Asaki as Lucia, (Tae Sugimura in Hanayaka Nari Waga Ichizoku), Keiko Suzuki as Shizuru (Haruka in Little Busters), Saya Shinomiya as Chihaya (Mahoko Imai in Brothers Conflict), Katsuya Konishi as Sakuya (Oga in Beelzebub), Souichiro Hoshi as Midou (Son Goku in Saiyuki series), Ryouko Tanaka as Touka (Kurugaya in Little Busters), Junichi Yanagita as Yoshino (Ranbanein in World Trigger), Hiroki Touchi as Esaka (Lily in Fairy Tail), Naomi Wakabayashi doubling as Gil and Sakura (Kud in Little Busters), Noriko Ueda as Pani (Ayaka in Softenni) and Yoshimi Watanabe as Inoue. Heck, even Chibi Moth has his own seiyuu, Asuka Nishi (Shinobu in Kiniro Mosaic). Must be the easiest voice acting role in the series, huh?

Key is also renowned for their great music and soundtrack but somehow those in this anime didn’t really resonate with me even though there are a handful of them here. The first opening theme, Philosophyz by Runa Mizutani has this lively rock beat that reminds me of other Key anime openings. The second one is End Of The World by Anri Kumaki which sounds more or less the same. The first ending theme is Sasayaka Na Hajimari by Runa Mizutani while the second ending theme is Word Of Dawn by Aoi Tada. If I had to really pick one favourite song from this series, it would be the latter because of its dramatic feel. Other ending themes that only last an episode (some are more like insert songs if you ask me) include Koibumi by Nagi Yanagi, Sunbright by Ayaka Kitazawa, Itsuwari Kimi E by Nagi Yanagi and Yami No Kanata E by Runa Mizutani.

Overall, not really appealing and impressive to me although some parts do make me chuckle (Kagari’s retard and small naughty fanservice jokes…), but to be fair all I can say that this is just half of it. Because till I watch the second season, perhaps I could formulate a better conclusion and understand about everything. You need to be a super devoted blind Key fan and lover to enjoy this and say 100% positive stuffs about everything. But for everyone else, it’s just another popcorn entertainment that you shouldn’t put too high an expectation. At least for this season. Let’s hope the next season’s story and big twist won’t be about groping boobs that leads to saving or destroying the world. Oh yeah. I’d pay good money to watch that anyway.

Okay. It’s that time again where we take a look at a list of sports that has yet to be turned into an all-male or in this case all-female underdog team. We have a bunch of girls taking on kendo and then in mahjong. What other sports do you think should get this treatment? Oh yes. Ping pong! And hence, that is how Shakunetsu No Takkyuu Musume was born and conceived. I think. But wait. Wasn’t there a ping pong themed anime a very long time ago? You know, a series about a male’s ping pong club filled with weirdo and wacky losers? The club that did anything and everything except play ping pong except for a couple of occasions? No? Didn’t see that? Didn’t even know it existed? Yeah, screw all that. We’re going to make an all-female ping pong club anyway. What else could go wrong if you have an entire team of females, right?

Episode 1
Everyone is in utter shock and disbelief that the girls’ ping pong powerhouse, Oudou Academy lost. Because they are the champions for 9 consecutive years and this is just the first round of the group stage that their captain lost in straight sets without getting a single point! OMG! They can’t believe it! They even cannot accept their loss to an unknown debutant. Guess what? The opponent just went down on her knees and give thanks for a good match. But with a devilish smile. It leaves the captain crying. Oh… Why does this remind me of Donald Trump winning the US presidency? Of course this gives hope to other teams that it is their turn to claim the crown. At Suzumegahara Junior High, Agari Kamiya is the school’s top ping pong player as she beats next best player Hanabi Tenka. Completing the top 4 are Hokuto Itsumo and Munemune. With other girls as avid admirers of Agari, it is no wonder why she would want to safeguard her top spot. Dreaming of a legion of fans? Like an idol? They hear news that Hayabusa Academy rode the wave of their luck by dethroning Oudou but Agari has no interest since their school didn’t participate (they were ruled out during the qualifiers) but will make it to the next stage next time. Next day as Agari head to school early, she sees this very shy girl, Koyori Tsumujikaze stuck on a gate. She is a new transfer student. Because she ‘saved’ her, Koyori becomes close to her. More like sticking like a leech. Upon learning Agari is part of the ping pong club, Koyori becomes excited as she loves ping pong. Agari agrees to play a demo match with her. She notices Koyori is able to return shots that are almost impossible to take. Agari could have lost if not for the other club members streaming in. Koyori cowers behind Agari as she is just intimidated by everyone and everything. Including Munemune’s giant racks. Koyori ends up in the same class with Agari. It’s a good thing because Hanabi keeps bugging her to be friends.

The newspaper club interviews Agari. She tells them they have never made it to the Nationals and at best are only local champions. She is confident she will lead the team there this year. They hear a commotion from the clubroom. Koyori easily defeated a tenth ranked player and as per club rules, she now officially occupies this spot. When other girls start admiring Koyori, this makes Agari jealous. Somebody is stealing her spotlight now. Munemune challenges her next. At first it looks like Munemune has no sweat getting points over Koyori. But the tables start to change when Koyori has figured out Munemune’s weakness and capitalizes on it. Because of her stocky build and huge boobs, she gets tired easily if made to run around. Because of this, Koyori wins 11-8. Munemune knows Koyori’s background. She is the prefectural semi-finalist in her previous school. This sends alarm bells ringing for Agari because her personal best is just the quarter-finals. When other girls start thinking she could be their new ace and now clamour around her like a new hot pop star, it’s time for Agari to hit the panic button. Her top spot is under threat!

Episode 2
Now that Koyori is in fourth place, Agari feels the threat closing in. Today Koyori challenges Hokuto. She learns about her strange ability that she can tell and ‘extract’ data by looking at their racquet rubbers. Including what panties you’re wearing today. I kid you not. As the match begins, it looks like Hokuto is easily trumping Koyori and making a big lead. This is because of her other ability in which she can see the angles and success percentage to return. Is she some sort of robot? Both sides are exhausted and during this long rally, Koyori gets her groove back by just enjoying the game. This means more smiles and happy faces. In turn, this throws Hokuto off. In the end, Koyori makes a great come back defeating her 11-9. Next day, Agari comes to the clubroom only to see Koyori there practising by herself. So now she is also losing her punctuality record? When Koyori suggests practising together, fear flashes across her mind as she gives excuses why she can’t. Agari continues to avoid her. Before you know it, Koyori is already playing Hanabi who is a master of returning shots at greater speeds. Like a smash? Like history repeating itself, Hanabi starts off well but Koyori makes a comeback and wins it. The girls hound around Koyori. Koyori still scared to bits. Agari continues to be deeply troubled. Oh no. Looks like there’s a new idol in town. Empty seats for our current top idol. And she’s crying about it. Hey, it’s only natural for the weak to flock to the strong. When Agari requests to practice with Munemune, Koyori thinks she hates her. Hanabi believes Agari is a nice girl deep down despite her thorny exterior and is sure preparing a special move to counter her. Munemune notices Agari is trying to focus on her backhand techniques. She believes this has higher winning chance but Munemune wonders if she is enjoying playing the game. She knows Agari always practised hard and thus effort will never betray her. So please don’t look so pained. With renewed confidence, Agari now challenges Koyori.

Episode 3
Flashback shows Agari’s mom always tell her to aim for the top and be number one. It’s more of a goofy encouragement rather than strict dictatorship. They like being at the top so much so it is reflected in Agari’s name. But reality is different as she is always mediocre till she found her calling in ping pong. The match for the top spot begins. Agari doesn’t waste time using her loop drive and ending it with a backhand smash. There’s an explanation what it is as well as some facts about Agari being 1 of the 4 elites specializing in this drive ability but I’m not really eager to know all that crap. Agari makes a great lead and with the girls coming back to cheer on her, Agari again starts to feel good. This is how it should be. But seeing her determined face, Koyori suddenly gets this excited feeling. She is able to return Agari’s smash. It is no big deal since Agari’s smash was never lethal in the first place. Agari is now sweating. Koyori is able to counter her smashes. That is when Koyori says she loves ping pong because she gets to see her opponents’ face up close and tell what kind of person they are. She can tell Agari is sharp and determined. When Koyori manages to climb her way back and tie the score, Agari too starts feeling that excitement in her heart. She realizes her love for ping pong and abandons her backhand smash to revert to her usual forehand smash. It feels good. In the end, Koyori wins 11-9 and becomes the new ace. Both congratulate and thank each other for a great game. Agari tried to put up a tough front but Koyori’s warmth breaks it down. While it is no surprise that the girls are all excited over their new champ, all isn’t loss for Agari because some girls also admire how amazing she is. See, you don’t have to be number 1 to get the cheers. Later when Munemune visits the club captain’s house and explains how amazing and valuable Koyori is, I guess it is time for Kiruka Ushirode to return to the team since her foot injury has been healed.

Episode 4
Koyori might be best in ping pong but just like Agari, she sucks in everything else. It seems Agari and Koyori have been playing each other ever since and the top spot has been trading hands like a volatile stock market. This time Agari wins. Their face off record stands at a tie, 7-7. But Munemune notices Koyori is on a losing streak. Like as though she is lacking some sort of special move. She then announces that Kiruka will return tomorrow. Koyori wonders how the captain is like so Hanabi explains she and Agari used to fiercely contest for the top spot before her injury side-lined her. When they head into the clubroom, they already see how amazing she is taking on 2 practice robots. And she even finds it boring! Koyori is introduced but as usual becomes super shy. This makes Kiruka want to tease her. A lot. For many of the other girls, this is also their first time seeing Kiruka. As the tournament is coming up, she wants to hold a match for the team roster and play every one of them. It is her way to gauge their skills. Whoever beats her gets an automatic spot. Of course knowing this isn’t just an ordinary battle, there is a catch. Those who lose to her must wear cat ears for the entire day as penalty. I guess this is better than putting on embarrassing cosplay outfits. But as she is the best player, surely nobody has any chance, right? That is why she will give them a handicap. As she has no stamina for a full match, if anyone can score a point before she scores 5, they win. And you guessed it, all the girls lost (because of her chop attack special) and the only ones left are Agari and Koyori. At this point Kiruka is feeling bored. I mean, nobody could even beat her. She even mentions about their bleak chances of reaching the Nationals at this rate. The truth, right? But this is where Agari stands up and tells her otherwise. They have been practising hard to do so and this time they will make it. You better mean what you say because you’re up next as this has stimulated Kiruka.

Episode 5
So the most anticipated match begins with Kiruka and Agari playing an intense rally. With the thought of aiming for the Nationals, this has Koyori thinking that all she wanted was to have fun playing ping pong and never thought of aiming for the Nationals. Because if she goes there, she’ll meet even more players and have more fun. Kiruka has also the tightest defence as she is able to counter whatever smash Agari throws at her. But it is finally Agari’s forehand smash that breaks it as she wins the game. Yay! Agari makes the team! It is all thanks to Koyori because she made her realize this is her better move as she got Munemune to help practice it after her first defeat. Kiruka finally takes on Koyori. She gets to see her play style and it seems she notices Koyori enjoying herself. This in turn makes Kiruka enjoy her game. In the end Koyori beats Kiruka. Kiruka lets out a maniacal laughter. Is she tired after double defeats? Maybe she’s glad that there are some worthy players. However Agari doesn’t feel the win was worth it because Koyori has been playing 18 players before them and scoring 5 points each straight. So by the time she reached time, it might have zapped some of her stamina. Of course this isn’t Koyori’s best as her serious skill comes when she is playing doubles. Guess who her partner is. If Kiruka says she might not be perfect but won’t lose if Munemune is with her… With everyone dreaming for the Nationals, this has Kiruka remember that when she first joined the club, she told everyone that she wanted to become number one and win the Nationals. Why is everybody looking so shocked? You mean they aren’t aiming or expecting this? Munemune likewise stated her goal same as Kiruka. Kiruka has scheduled a practice match with Mozuyama Junior High. They are a local powerhouse that reached the Nationals last year.

Episode 6
Agari is mad at Koyori because her smashes are no more lethal than before. Is she losing her form? Hokuto takes a look at her paddle and realizes the rubber is worn out. Well, I’m not sure if this gives her the ability to tell a player’s skills but apparently rubber can have her tell what panties you’re wearing too. I’m not kidding. Because Hokuto’s family runs a ping pong shop, she is very eager to sell some goods. However Koyori has no money and Hokuto shies away. Money face? Hanabi suggests helping her out at the store as she always complains about being understaffed. Of course with Koyori being a super shy girl, you wonder if she can pull through this as she mans the register. Remember the breathing exercise Hokuto told you. Though, it is mostly for pregnant women. Don’t ask. Then this gothic zombie weirdo comes in to buy stuffs. She has also earned enough card points to exchange a bunny t-shirt. The way she loves it is so creepy… I’m surprised Koyori isn’t scared out of her daylights. Later Koyori sees how Hokuto is an expert in analysing rubber and suggesting what goods her customers should get. Seeing that Hanabi is an expert in gluing and replacing rubber, Koyori gets motivated to work harder. Later their club members drop by to hang out although Kiruka claims Agari wanted to see Koyori and is worried about her. Like that ace would ever admit it. With the friends being rowdy, this reminds Hokuto of her past where she will always refuse her friends’ offer to hang out as she has to go home to help out with her store. Only Hanabi was interested in what she is doing and became impressed. It was then they became best friends and Hanabi offered to help out so she could finish her work faster and have more time to have fun together. When somebody accidentally knocks the goods off the shelves, everyone else comes to help out. Why? Because they’re friends.

Episode 7
As Koyori has worked her part, why is Hokuto seems forceful to give her deserved rubber? As she doesn’t know which to pick, Hokuto chooses for her. A springy rubber that makes her smashes feel pleasant and more lethal. That way, she can enjoy the game more. The girls head to Mozuyama and meet the ping pong’s captain, Zakuro Zashikiwarashi who is quite nervous and tongue tied. Remember that gothic zombie girl? Yup. She’s in this club. As weird as she can get, Kururi Futamaru likes to insert death into her sentences. A pun of desu? Plus, you can tell she has hots for Zakuro as the way she melts when Zakuro is being nice to her. Koyori is stuck on the toilet door (trying to get out since her lock was spoiled) and Kururi sees this thinks she is a pervert. Koyori tries to have a good sportsmanship so Kururi questions her why does she play ping pong for. For Kururi, she plays for Zakuro and is willing to die for it! Woah. Calm down. It’s only ping pong, right? The first practice match pits Hanabi against Sachiko Sasorida (the scorpion girl?). It seems Sasorida’s teammates don’t give a f*cks about cheering for her. Hanabi strikes fast and wins the first 2 sets. But then it is Sasorida’s turn to fight back by the third set. By nullifying Hanabi’s speed drive, Sasorida is forcing her to make errors and thus makes a comeback to win the remaining sets for her team. Not that her teammates care anyway. The next match has Hokuto versus Yura Yuragi (the swaying girl?). Hokuto’s quest to avenge Hanabi’s lost takes a backseat when Yuragi takes the first set.

Episode 8
Hokuto may have clawed her way back to force a rubber set. However it is clear that she is tired. Yuragi having more stamina and even having that similar vision ability like Hokuto clearly has the advantage. As predicted, Hokuto lost. Of course she feels guilty for losing but Hanabi commends her for a great game. Time for the only doubles match. It is Kiruka-Munemune against the chuunibyou Myuu Kanenashi and the nibbling Kimiko Hamu. At first the Suzumegahara pair takes the first set. However the Mozuyama counterpart easily takes the second. So while this gives them confidence that their wall is unbreakable, Kiruka notices Munemune not playing her true style because she is worried about Kiruka’s ankle injury. She reminds her that she is undefeatable with her. Also about their dream to become number one and win the Nationals. Because they couldn’t achieve their dreams as a single player, they realize they are unbeatable as a pair because they cover each other’s weaknesses. With this, they get their groove back and blow away their opponents! Hamu is literally scared of Munemune’s tiger aura! Suzumegahara wins the remaining sets and the game. With Mozuyama’s first defeat, this signals Kururi to have more practice to death training! Oh dear. That’s why winning is everything. Kiruka and Munemune’s win allows Agari a chance to face Zakuro.

Episode 9
It seems Zakuro is able to keep pace with Agari and nullify her forehand smashes. Zakuro is able to catch up and tie with Agari’s score till a point where she can overtake her. Time for a flashback 2 years ago. When Kururi joined the ping pong club 2 years ago, all members were thrilled she came from the famed ping pong school of Karasuma. Of course the seniors looked down on her and decided to show who’s boss by playing her. Kururi destroyed them and made them resigned from the club. The rest draw inspiration from it and hope Kururi could help train them to achieve their dream of becoming overnight stars by going to the Nationals. Well, nobody warned them they asked for it. Because unfortunately Kururi started to devise a very strict Spartan training and they got more than they bargained for. They became afraid of her and also resigned. This left Kururi sad and confused. Wasn’t this what they asked for? Why do they have to leave? Alone again. Naturally. Even zombies can cry. But hope returns when Zakuro continued to remain because despite her hard training, she wants to play awesome ping pong like her. This made Kururi ‘drool from her eyes’. Geddit? At this point Zakuro now leads the sets 2-1. With things getting desperate in the fourth set, Agari decides to make a drastic change and use her backhand smash. It succeeds and shocks Zakuro. She wins the set and now the final decisive set is at hand. This time Agari switched and mixed up her forehands and backhands to pull ahead and win the final set. Despite the loss, Zakuro felt she played a great match. Before Koyori and Kururi’s match begins, Koyori answers her question of why she plays ping pong. She wants to feel and share the excitement of the game with everybody. Well, not the best of answers. Anyhow, Kururi will beat anybody who challenges her to death! Cue for mad zombie mode on! It’s like Kururi has this super power skill because when Koyori returns her screw ball, Kururi doesn’t even have to touch it. She turns her back and some tornado aura blows it away! WTF???!!!

Episode 10
Each time Koyori hits back, her ball swiftly changes trajectory. Yeah, there’s some explanation about her curve drive but I’ll take it as some exaggerated flashy move. With this technique, Kururi is quickly leaving Koyori in the dust and easily takes the first 2 sets. However before the third set begins, suddenly Kururi has this dreaded feeling. Something bad is about to happen. Yeah. Because this is when the main heroine makes a comeback. Apparently Koyori might have look like she is randomly smashing back but this was actually to find her sweet spot. As per her training with Agari who taught her to find the best place to return a shot, that is what a sweet spot is. And it is in this third set that Koyori finally finds her sweet spot and counters Kururi’s curve drive. Once that is defeated, Kururi starts to panic. Uh huh. A short flashback from her side how Zakuro advised her to develop this habit into her asset. Unfortunately Kururi continues to worry like hell. She fears she will lose Zakuro’s smile and the right to be with her if she loses. This allows Koyori to claw her way back up and tie the sets. And as expected, the final set that will decide it all. Because Kururi is still worried, Zakuro had to go calm her and tell her to play her own brand of ping pong. That is the brand she loves. This gives her motivation to fight back and while she looked desperate in doing random smashes, she is actually trying to do what Koyori earlier did. But she’s not finding her sweet spot but rather trying to evolve her curve drive. The mistakes she makes gives Koyori free points. By the time Kururi manages to pull off her ultimate curve driver, surprisingly Koyori is able to counter that. Match is set and the game goes to Koyori and Suzumegahara wins it! Hmm… Don’t you see a pattern here? The entire game and even the individual matches are won by the margin of 3-2. Only the doubles match was won by 3-1. Kururi wallows in despair but Zakuro hugs her. Despite she lost, it was a great game and everyone was motivated seeing her play. Even zombie girls can cry. Suzumegahara leaves as both sides thank each other for a great game. Kururi now feels playing with Koyori makes her excited and she vows to become stronger the next time and everything will be more exciting. First time seeing her smile. Even zombie girls can smile too.

Episode 11
What’s next after a practice match? Training camp! But before they leave, they are shocked with the appearance of Kumami Tsukinowa. Who is she? An ex-ping pong club member who transferred out shortly before Koyori transferred in. Let’s say she left to another school for greener pastures. It might seem she is here to show off her ventriloquism but perhaps she is jealous Agari has somebody new close to her? Because she gives her a big hug but Agari not into such lesbian practice, pushes her away. Agari thought she is here to settle the score but Kumami apologizes she can’t play with her anymore. So with the training camp on the way, Kiruka plays with Agari and because the latter is still being bothered by Kumami, she can’t focus and her smashes are now easily countered and ineffective. As they soak in the hotspring, they note about Kumami in a powerhouse ping pong school, Tsubame Girls’ Academy who is way better than Mozuyama. That night Agari can’t sleep and it is obvious that Kumami is still occupying her mind. Time to let the cat out of the bag. At least for Koyori to know. Tsubame is a school not just for rich girls but as said a powerhouse in ping pong. The club’s captain lured Kumami there. She is the only daughter of the school’s board director and her family runs loads of ping pong halls. This means she can get whatever she wants. On the day Kumami left Suzumegahara, she is supposed to play a farewell match with Agari but declined. But even a month before that, Kumami stopped playing with her. So Agari thought she showed up for that but it wasn’t the case. It frustrates Agari because she wanted to play her. Of course they will still bump into Tsubame in the district qualifiers if they want to make it to the Nationals. As for what Agari can do to improve herself, Koyori suggests making her smashes more lethal. They get their well-deserved sleep and the next morning they are pumped up for practice.

Episode 12
The training camp continues. Hokuto and Hanabi play with each other to improve since they are the only ones who lost. Agari and Koyori also play each other. In Koyori’s desperate bid to help Agari improve her lethal smash, she sits on her shoulder. WTF?! Somehow all the silliness has the juniors motivated to practice harder. Train hard, train hard, train hard, not forgetting Munemune boobs time, more training, more training, soak in hotspring, more training so much so they’re practising their swings while sleeping! On the last day of the camp, it is a free schedule and everyone can do whatever they want. Of course this means everyone is up to practice more ping pong. Agari and Koyori train a couple of juniors as they are ecstatic to be taught by them. With more people coming in to train, it soon turns into a mini competition. As expected, Agari and Koyori face off each other in the finals and Agari wins it with her super fast lethal smash. Everybody feels good about their improvement and chances. And so here we are at the start of the real tournament.

Balls Of Fury
Although it is only a dozen of episodes, unfortunately it wasn’t really interesting enough for me to really want to beg or even look forward to a sequel. To be honest, the story was pretty bland and unexciting and because this is only the first season, it focused more about the new kid in town and the practice with a local powerhouse. That is all. Forgive me if you are going to hear me compare this to Saki a few times because I think that is what I believe how a sports tournament is supposed to play out. I may still not like the mahjong game but I’ll be referring to mostly the story and the characters.

Let’s start off with the story. Like I have said that this season is nothing more than trying to build up the base of the underdog, namely Suzumegahara. Also like I have mentioned earlier on, this series only has one season for now. Unlike Saki who has a couple of seasons and another couple of seasons for its spin-offs. So you could see that the flow and pace of their story and plot have been gradually played out. Yes, Saki is still the typical cliché sports tournament story of the underdog surpassing the powerhouse. But for this series, nothing has really begun. That last scene doesn’t really count because it just feels like to fire us all up that the series has ended. And if you remember ex-Suzumegahara player, Kumami, that feels like just a setup for future plots. Nothing much for now.

Then you have the characters. I find them uninteresting despite some of the characters have really weird personalities to make them stick out. The thing is, Saki in addition to the main underdog school, has got a host of rival schools to play with. This means more characters and more weirdoes who will be appearing. But here, you have only got Suzumegahara and Mozuyama. That’s it. So far we only have a single screen glimpse of Kumami and her Tsubame comrades in the final scenes and this doesn’t really amount to anything.

So for the past dozen episodes, no doubt we have some background information on our Suzumegahara girls like Hokuto’s family running a ping pong store as well as Kiruka and Munemune’s promise and dream to become number one ping pong players. However all these are just scratching the surface and nothing really too deep. As for the characters themselves, you have mostly the cliché stereotypes like the prideful top player, the very shy newcomer genius, the tomboy, the socially awkward, the boobs monster and the club president. In light of this, Hokuto ‘stands out’ more than the rest because of her strange habit of calling others except Hanabi by what kind of panties they wear! You don’t hear her call their real names as she continues to address them in their underwear colour and type! It is already ridiculous she can tell what kind of panties you’re wearing from the paddle you’re holding. Therefore theoretically if she keeps calling a certain someone the same panties nickname all the while, does this mean she is always wearing that same type?! Wow. They don’t change patterns, do they? Oh, this is supposed to be a ping pong anime… With Kumami’s appearance as a teaser, it might curious you to know their relationship but it fizzles out once the training camp begins. This makes it feel that her character is redundant for this season although like I’ve said it is to setup future encounters. If that is ever going to happen. I hate to say this but I think Mozuyama has more interesting characters than Suzumegahara. From zombie girl to that hamster girl who can’t stop nibbling (she never stops!) to that girl who just can’t stop swaying (she’s always swaying!) to that chuunibyou girl to that scorpion girl, don’t they look more like an interesting bunch?

In the end, despite all the training camp and practice together, somehow I just feel the Suzumegahara aren’t that close enough. Even with Agari and Koyori practising more often lately, I just feel that their bond isn’t really there. This again compared to their Saki counterparts. I suppose because the characters feel lacking in this overall personality, their bond and friendship don’t really resonate throughout and reach us. Although it is good that Agari has overcome her complex of being at the best and focus her goals to become a better player instead of protecting her own top spot and limelight. Because if you’re already number one, you’ll definitely have all that. In short, the girls aren’t really memorable in the long run (except Munemune’s boobs) and even I questioned myself if I am able to support them if they get another season and advanced to deeper rounds of the tournament.

More importantly for a sports genre anime is to have the feature of the game itself. Now, if you have watched Saki, you would have been flabbergasted by the amount of sheer nonsense and exaggeration when those lolis play their hands. For a guy like me who didn’t understand a single thing about the game, those visual exaggerations are a source of entertainment delight. Each player too has their own signature moves. Now compare the mahjong girls to this ping pong girls, the matches aren’t as exciting because we mainly see them hit the balls back and forth. Sure, there are a few delusional exaggerations but this is far few in between. They play up the drama of hitting the balls back and forth like as though there is some sort of intensity but I don’t really feel all that.

The ping pong girls also have their signature moves but they are boring and not memorable to begin with. Like Agari’s smash. I don’t really see anything special about it. At least she didn’t display some flashy move. If you watched Prince Of Tennis, you can see how each player can perform physics defying moves. I know we can blame to small arena and table for them not being able to pull off such acrobatic feats but that’s beside the point. And many of the matches, because they have to play multiple sets to win, many of them are skipped. Imagine if you have to watch the same scene for every game. Watching every point scored by the player. That would be so boring. Given how the girls already lack many special moves and skills, doing so would only turn this series into a snooze fest. So yeah, the ping pong matches aren’t entertaining because no flashy exaggerated moves for me to b*tch about.

Animated by Kinema Citrus, this series has its characters look more like Yuyushiki, another series they animated. You know, those kawaii and cute kind. Though, the art style of the characters may closely resemble to those in Saki but with seemingly less quality. One thing that bugged me about their artwork is when they animate the sweat on the girls’ t-shirts. I have a feeling they’re trying to give a realism feeling instead of fanservice but each time I see the sweat marks on their t-shirt, they look like mud. Dirty. Uh huh. As though they’ve gone into some mild mud wrestling or something. It’s pretty obvious and I can’t take my focus away from it. Hypnotizing… Munemune’s boobs are more than enough fanservice, though…

I didn’t recognize a single seiyuu here. Well, the main casts are mostly newbies or unknowns with not a long list of anime roles to their names. So we have Yumiri Hanamori as Koyori (Hanako in Anne Happy), Minami Tanaka as Agari (Tsukishita in Keijo), Yuuki Kuwahara as Hokuto (Hakua in Shomin Sample), Marika Kouno as Hanai (Rin in Sore Ga Seiyuu), Ayaka Imamura as Munemune (Yuriko in Sakurako-san No Ashimoto Ni Wa Shitai Ga Umatteiru), Hisaka Toujou as Kiruka (Aiha in Noragami Aragoto), Shiori Izawa as Kururi (Saya in Gakusen Toshi Asterisk), Nozomi Furuki as Zakuro (Yukari in The Rolling Girls) and Reina Ueda as Kumami (Mira in Dimension W).

The opening theme sounds weird. Shakunetsu Switch by the main casts of Suzumegahara’s ping pong club girls feels like it is trying to appeal to sound cute. I’m not sure if this kind of song is fitting but given the genre and comedy aspects of the series, I guess in a way it fits. The ending theme, Bokura No Frontier is a mixed reception. At some parts it feels slow, some parts feel like they are sleepy while singing the song and others feel like a generic pop idol song. It is no surprise that the idol group, Wake Up Girls sang this song as you might noticed that some of them here have a voice acting role in this series.

Overall, perhaps if this series gets more sequels, I can draw better conclusions if it is a worthy sports genre to watch. However with the bland first season, things aren’t looking good. A lot of things feel plain and nothing that gives you that extra excitement to go watch or cheer on the girls. Oddly, I feel as though the girls put in so much practice in ping pong but yet they’ll lose out to those idiots in Teekyuu who hardly pick up their racquet. Yeah… It would be bad if they did any other random stuffs other than ping pong because it would further damage the series. At this rate even that old male counterpart ping pong series seem to fare better overall. I used to play ping pong in my younger days but only as recreation and not competitive. This series not only fail to ignite any sort of passion for me to take up the game (not that I was hoping it would anyway) but it also made me feel I don’t want to remember all those nostalgic ping pong days. Because I suck. If I take this up, I’m sure to embarrass myself even more. Instead of agari (rise), I go sagari (fall). I’m so unfit as an anime couch potato these days.

Wait. What?! You mean this managed to get a second season? I wouldn’t have expected it even if it is the end of the world that Mahou Shoujo Nante Mou Ii Desu Kara would get a sequel because of how boring and lacking any direction the first season was. Maybe I never bothered in the first place. And because the second season came as a surprise, I guess I need to ride that surprise hype to check it out if it would be better or not. I mean, what else can a magical girl do when there are actually no monsters or other side missions to fulfil?

Episode 1
Right off from the start, a magical girl transformation scene from Yuzuka. Apparently she and Chiya are taking advantage of this transformation to have water sprinkle all over them. Miton watches them but since he is eating their ice cream, they punish him. So while they share what’s left of it, Chiya asks if there has been anything good for Yuzuka ever since she turned into a magical girl. Well, all perverted hijinks are what she can think of. Chiya turns her anger at Miton. Luckily he is able to come up with some lame excuse that lets him off the hook. They get an invitation from Mafuyu but on their way out they meet Daiya passing by who is going to the pool to swim. Oddly they notice she is wishing her grandma. But nobody’s there… This café belongs to Mafuyu’s grandpa. She is temporarily helping him out because he is currently trying to qualify for some online guild match to represent Japan! He can’t leave the computer! You go, grandpa! The reason Mafuyu invited them here is so they can show off their magic.

Episode 2
This time we start off with Mafuyu’s transformation followed by Yuzuka. This prompts Miton and Pochi to comment on Yuzuka’s swimsuit outfit that she might be an exhibitionist. Chiya doesn’t take that lightly and burns them with boiling water! Pochi’s misery continues because Mafuyu shows off her magic by throwing Pochi into a sack and then changing its size. So that’s her ability? Though Yuzuka is embarrassed to walk outside in this swimsuit, Mafuyu tries to stay positive that wearing it enough will have her get used to it. Maybe she’s missing the point. Grandpa takes a shot break from his game by wheeling into the shop, making weird comments and then going back in again. Yup, he’s crazy in the head. At least he is healthy. Mafuyu then says it is a shame she can’t transform together with Chiya but is looking forward to it. Once Mafuyu retires, Pochi will most likely choose Chiya to be the next magical girl.

Episode 3
Now it’s Chiya’s turn for her magical girl transformation although it is mostly a what-if scenario if she becomes one. Mmm… I think I’m going to love her magical maid outfit! They further fantasize how the trio will save the world! Sure, with Chiya’s blasters they will. However Pochi rubbishes that because Mafuyu’s retirement and his next assignment are 2 separate issues. Also, Mafuyu won’t be retiring soon. Thus Mafuyu is glad she gets to continue so she can have fun and mess around with Yuzuka and Chiya. Wait. What? Mafuyu adds that after she graduates from high school, she plans on taking over grandpa’s café. He couldn’t be happier because this means more time to play his games! On the way back, Yuzuka remembers and answers Chiya that there is one good thing since she became a magical girl. Because dad always comes home late, she has to eat dinner alone. It’s nice to have Miton accompany her and enjoy her food. But the good mood is ruined when Miton adds it’s because her food is better than the garbage he ate! She slaps him into the garbage truck. How fitting. She takes back what she said earlier.

Episode 4
Pochi suggests a study session under Mafuyu’s tutelage. However Chiya disagrees as they don’t have any study problems. I guess Pochi has seen too many cliché magical girl characters that he can’t accept there are no such perfect girls! Pochi is in a dilemma on how to report this to Mafuyu because she really wanted to help them out in some way. Miton then suggests to hold a tea party. He then talks to Chiya about it and when she agrees, he tries to hug her but her deadly swiftness reminds him that they’re not friends. Never. Friends. Remember. With Yuzuka agreeing, Chiya texts to Mafuyu if she would admire and appreciate Yuzuka with her. Wait. What? Excited Mafuyu thinks of replying in an adult manner and replies she would like to admire and appreciate Chiya too. A swift reply that says they’ll discuss this another time. I guess that escalated quickly, huh?

Episode 5
Mafuyu has a study session instead. However the duo understand their work perfectly and didn’t ask questions. Bored, Mafuyu tries to tell them a trivia but they can elaborate it with more facts! Didn’t know that, did you? Daiya is here to give them a big salmon present. Mafuyu gets this idea to tutor her. At first it seems great that Mafuyu is teaching her to write certain kanji characters while the mascots are contemplating how fitting Daiya is to be a magical girl. But then Daiya starts asking deeper analytical questions about the word. This is followed by Yuzuka and Chiya asking her questions. In English! Apparently Daiya is a genius who skipped 9 grade years in America! Oh, Mafuyu is only the dumb one around. It’s no surprise she is feeling a bit down as she thought being the one longer as a magical girl she might help them out. Pochi has a plan. Just leave it to him.

Episode 6
Mafuyu invites the duo over to her café. It is like a sauna since the air-cond is spoiled and the repairman can only fix it in 3 days. However Chiya suspects something amiss because the remote control is missing batteries… Mafuyu suggests Yuzuka transform so that her water magic could make the place cooler. It works as Mafuyu fawns over her. They play the Game of Life. After they leave, Chiya could hear the air-cond generator turning on and thus her suspicions were true. Mafuyu has put back the batteries and grandpa asks why she turned it off in the first place, it was to conserve energy since he was always on his online games. Really? While Yuzuka feels she has gotten less embarrassed being in a swimsuit, Chiya is starting to feel Mafuyu might be a little too clingy to her.

Episode 7
Miton is hungry and trying to resist eating garbage. He smells something good that leads him to wallop the offerings of a grave. He is then surrounded and attacked by cats! Daiya is greeting the ghost of a boss cat and when she nears the grave, all the cats got to purr at her. She treats Miton at Mafuyu’s café. It seems Daiya has the special eye as she can see spirits. Like a fallen warrior and grandma. This causes grandpa to panic. Didn’t properly take care of the café, did you? As they notice Daiya’s special ability, Miton explains she isn’t a magical girl but there are a few people who can see such unearthly things without meeting such requirements. Then the mascots had to comment how Daiya would make a much better magical girl than Chiya. Hear those knuckles cracking? She’ll be sending them to heaven alright.

Episode 8
It’s time to know the truth. Had not Chiya forced Miton, we’ll never know this story of where they came from. For better viewing, Miton uses some projection. Horrible drawing? In their world, Miton and tons of his clones were chosen to go on a journey to get a magical girl bracelet. They counter various hazards and dangers. Many were sacrificed till Miton was the only one left who managed to get it. Yuzuka felt sorry for this tragic back story but Pochi rubbishes it all as fake. Time for Miton’s scalding hot water punishment. Pochi explains their world is much more advanced and complex than this. Pochi doesn’t even consider Miton his colleague because they never run into each other or bother trying to find each other. He just ran into Miton by chance. That’s why Miton considers Yuzuka and Chiya his only friends now. The duo feel so bad that they apologize. Miton feels despair that they’re pitying him.

Episode 9
Yuzuka’s dad dozes off at the park and dreams of his daughter and her pals in magical girl form to his rescue. It seems they are under attack by a giant golem supposedly representing the inspection from the labour department wanting them to adhere to strict labour laws. Father won’t be cowed as he drinks an energy drink to turn into a hero to join the girls fighting the menace. In the end, they defeat the golem as father declares he will work till his life runs out because he loves his family. Eh? Karoshi? Father wakes up just enough time to return home to see Yuzuka sleeping. He notes as long as he feels good he can work. And he feels good because he has work. Then he is off back to working.

Episode 10
Miton notes an unusual magical girl Yuzuka is. Studious and does her chores but doesn’t allow him to peep while bathing. But of course. When asked if she is happy to be a magical girl, she ignores him. Daiya invites the gang to her father’s private beach. Mafuyu and Chiya ‘pressure’ Yuzuka to come. Is it because they want to see her in her swimsuit? But isn’t her magical girl outfit one? Well, she’s wearing her school swimsuit so I guess there’s a different sex appeal there. And why did grandpa bother to come if he is just going to play his online games? During the watermelon split, it is either the watermelon or Miton. I’m pretty sure Chiya is aiming for a certain round flying pervert… Since Yuzuka is staying out of the waters, Mafuyu and Chiya team up to drag her out. Meanwhile Daiya sees a spirit swimming and follows her beckoning to the rocky area.

Episode 11
The girls notice that something is wrong when it seems something is pulling Daiya deeper. Indeed the spirit is dragging her down to the bottom. At the same time, the spirit somehow puts up a barrier that weakens the mascots. If not for grandpa giving his never-give-up speech, Yuzuka and Mafuyu might have hesitated further. They transform and fly toward the sea. Only Yuzuka can materialize an air bubble as she sinks in to rescue Daiya. However it seems the power is limited and eventually runs out (somewhat affecting Miton too). Now Yuzuka has to hold her breath as she tries to bring Daiya up to the surface. Can she hold out?

Episode 12
When Mafuyu dives in, the spirit goes away. She is able to bring the unconscious duo back up. Pochi then erases the memories of all the witnesses on the beach. Chiya discusses with Mafuyu the possibility of Yuzuka ending up being naked had Miton died. With everyone back to normal, they continue to have fun on the beach. Mafuyu buries Yuzuka in the sand and as ‘reward’ pacts more sand in her boobs. But Miton doesn’t like it and shoves them away! He likes it compact! Time for his beat down courtesy of Chiya. At the end of the day, Yuzuka replies Miton’s question if she was happy becoming a magical girl. She is as she managed to make friends. She named everyone except him. And when she does comment something about him, the damn fireworks muted out her voice. Chiya then uses Miton as fireworks fodder. Tamaya! Such a beautiful display…

I Have Had Enough Of Boring Magical Girl Series!
Somehow I didn’t find this season to be that all bad. Maybe it is because of the low expectations that I have placed earlier on prior to watching this. Very low expectations. Therefore when the series ended, I was surprised to find myself not as disappointed as I should be. Yes, it is still boring nevertheless but it wasn’t so bad that I had to post raging insults on Twitter and Facebook. Oh wait. I don’t even have such social media accounts.

Just like in last season, nothing much pretty happens. If you watched the first season, there was no threatening reason for Yuzuka to even become one. Like as though it was the pre-requisite for Miton to take out his fetish. So when they decided to put some tension and drama in the penultimate episode of this season, it felt like it was shoehorned in because everything was so boring that they had to kick up some drama and near death so as to make us wake up a little. This only brings forth more questions like who that spirit was and what is her connection with our main characters. Because before she disappeared back into the ocean, she commented how she’ll come back to play with them again. Is this a subtle hint that there is going to be another season?! Oh dear…

Unlike last season where Daiya and Mafuyu made only paltry appearances that do not justify their existence, at least in this season they make more appearance. Even though it isn’t much, but it is far better than anything. Of course, the plot of this series itself isn’t anything much so it is better if they make use of these characters to do whatever random stuffs together since Mafuyu looks like a senior desperate for some company and Daiya as a blonde loli who could see ghosts. Not like it really mattered anyway. Yuzuka’s dad is still the overworked workaholic and too bad this season Yuzuka’s mom didn’t even make any appearance. Not even a cameo. So no family time this season. Oh, Mafuyu’s grandpa should take the cake as the most sporting grandpa who couldn’t put down his game controller ever.

Somehow I do not find Miton as perverted as before. There are a few times where his sick nature is shown but it doesn’t compare to how I remember him from last time. Maybe it is because Chiya is always around and keeping a close watch on him. Chiya is still by far the more ‘interesting’ one because of her dark nature to abuse Miton and her secret lesbian admiration to be with Yuzuka. She doesn’t need magical powers to get things done. Her threats will. As for Yuzuka, looks like she has gotten used to being a magical girl even though she might not like it. But hell, it is better than continue to b*tch about it, right? Just go with the flow and she’ll be alright.

Sorry to make my blog for this season a lot shorter because everything else I want to say would be really similar and thus I would only be repeating myself. Earth Star Dream who sang the opening song for the first season, reprise their role this season with the cover of Kimiiro Ni Somaru ~Earth Star Dream version~ (the original piece was sung by Gumi). Sounds more like a generic anime pop and nothing too special.

Overall, still a series that has nothing much ado despite its simple and soothing nature. If you don’t like how wacky Teekyuu is and that their random antics will cause you to die of heart attack or laugh till you die, or if you don’t want to watch grim magical girl series that would only break your heart and send you into tears thinking how they destroyed your perception that magical girl genres should be pure, this series might do the trick. Yuzuka doesn’t know how easy she has it going for her as a magical girl. By far the most laidback and freest magical girl duty any magical girl would want. It’s so boring they might even retire early… Better make another season before that happens…