Ishuzoku Reviewers

May 24, 2020

SEX!

Got your attention there, didn’t I? Ah yes. Nothing grabs attention and turn heads like sex does. Feeling horny but don’t want to cross the line by watching real porn? Then how about watching an anime that reviews about sex? Wait. What?! Is there such a thing?! As you would have guessed from the name, Ishuzoku Reviewers although is basically a prostitution reviewing anime, it is no sex with the same homo sapiens that we are talking about. Uh huh. Have you ever wanted to know what it is like having to f*ck a monster girl? Or what is like to have sex with a werewolf? Don’t worry, you horny perverts. There are a few brave men out there who are willing to go the distance and f*ck all those different species. After all that is climaxed and done, they’ll give and write their honest opinions and reviews of the intercourse that has taken place. So that we can make a better judgment for ourselves if we really want to go f*ck and get the best pleasure out of this certain species. Oh yeah. Think with your other head! Get ready those pens and notes, here cums the sexy evaluations!

Episode 1
With a city like a melting with so many species, there is bound to be a red light district. Stunk (human) just f*cked an elf and loves it. However his partner, Zel (elf) doesn’t really quite like it because that elf babe is over 500 years old! So what?! She still looks hot! But Zel loves this 50 year old grandma human, Mitsue. So anybody below 100 years old is his taste? So both argue about their weird tastes in women and to settle this, they ask Kanchal (hafling) and Brooz (beastman) to also give their opinions as they frequent the brothels too. Basically, only Stunk is the one who reviewed the elf babe with high marks. One day while out adventuring, they save an angel from a monster. The angel, Crim has a request to help be her bodyguard until her halo heals up so she can return to heaven. Sure. But in return they want to know if there are brothels in heaven! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! F*ck shops in heaven???!!! Stunk and Zel’s life mission is to f*ck every species there is!!! Oh yeah. I guess some of us can only dream of this. But wait. Crim is actually a boy???!!! In actual fact he has both male and female genitals. He can’t say for who knows what they’ll do to him. And because they find out Crim is a virgin, they take him to a brothel to celebrate! OMFG! Angel boy got defiled by a cat girl!!! OMG!!! Is he now considered a fallen angel?! In the bar where Stunk and Zel frequent (and now Crim works at), they post sex reviews too. There is one review from Kanchal whereby he didn’t like the sex with this octopus girl. Yup, he got more than just tentacle raped. Meidri the barmaid isn’t too amused that Stunk and Zel are earning big money just by posting such reviews. Stunk this he can ‘review’ her but gets beaten up. For a fortnight, the trio are gone just to review some harpy babe. When they come back, they have very high ratings for her. Best sex ever! Maybe except Narugami who is a Lamia. I guess birds and snakes don’t mix. Meidri isn’t all too amused at all because she is a harpy. What does this say about her? Stunk tries to get cheeky on her but she slams the barstool on him.

Episode 2
We’re discussing if dick size matters. Then thinking on which species to f*ck next, they notice the next table are tiny fairies. Heh. Heading to the fairy brothel, it’s not what they expect. Yeah, the fairy boss looks more like some gangster. They have to pay upfront a very expensive fee first before having their dicks measured. Hey, fairies are small you know. Stunk who has the biggest dick, unfortunately not all fairies can handle it and only 2 of them. Fat ugly fairy b*tches?! I guess in this case, size isn’t all that matters. Zel’s moderate size has him choose from half the field while Kanchal can get any fairies. Unfortunately, no fairies can handle Crim. OMG. In the end, all put up satisfying reviews except for Crim who felt scammed. This makes everybody wonder how big this angel boy’s junk is! Oh sh*t. With the elections around the corner, currently the Orc Party is the ruling party as it offers the right balance of eat, sleep and fornicate. Stunk and Zel might want to vote for the Succubus Party since all their agenda is f*ck, f*ck and f*ck! After a speech by the Demon Party, Stunk and co are approached by Demon Two (Piccolo?!), the PR for the Demon Party. Because demons are voted as the second most least marriageable species (the undead tops the list), he has read their reviews and noticed that because of that, some species’ popularity has skyrocketed. He hopes their review can also pull up the image of demons. But Demon Two can’t do it himself since this will be seen as election violation of granting favours. So he gives them a name card to a demon’s brothel and hopes they will vote for the Demon Party. So our Ishuzoku Reviewers head to this brothel with a lot of scepticism in mind (except for Crim who naturally wants to stay out). But once they see those huge tits that can only exist in hentai, you bet they’re in. Hence they write decent reviews. So they’re mostly cow girls squirting lots of milk when excited? Stunk and Zel discuss about how the gravity of such huge tits make them gravitate to it. Stunk tries to be funny with Meidri’s tits so she uses the gravity to slam her tray on his head. Science wins. Planet gravity > tits gravity.

Episode 3
Gender swap! After hearing about empathy, our guys decide to test out what it’s like to be a woman. Drinking a gender swap potion, their dicks disappear and their tits enlarge. You bet they’re going to spend some time playing with themselves and exploring their new body parts. As they have to wait till they return to their original self, they think of doing some lesbian stuffs. It is also a way to get a girl to teach them plenty of ways of womanhood. As they look through the catalogue, Crim seems to be ‘interested’ with the male one. You mean this male succubus thingy? The rest explain some gay stuff to him but whatever. Rainbow boys? End boys? Rain-end-boys? Huh? In the end, they suspect Crim might be into that sort of stuff… Each of them pick a girl to get lesbian with. Stunk of course picks a hot elf girl but the rest aren’t so pleased. She’s over 300 years old, you know… But the foreplay is giving him weird sensations that he didn’t like. Meh reviews. Kanchal goes for the same hafling species thinking the same species would know the ropes. Unfortunately, she is a dominatrix and using some sex toy to penetrate him. Ouch. Not a good review. Zel goes for a slime girl. Supposedly to be the easiest for first timers and can reach deep. Yup, the best time of his life. High scores. Finally, Crim went with a hyena girl. Supposedly the toughest and only reserved for more experienced patrons, this makes the rest wonder if Crim picked her because hyena types are said to have the biggest dick. In the end, Crim felt so good that she gave almost perfect scores. This only reinforces the others’ thought that he might be into gay stuffs!

Episode 4
OMFG! Too much sex has killed Stunk, Zel and Brooz! A week later… Everybody is talking about their legendary heroics. Even Meidri feels sad… The end of Ishuzoku Reviewers!!! Just kidding. We go back in time to find out what happened. The gang stumbled upon a very cheap succubus prostitution shop. Thinking it is a scam, what better way to go try it out themselves. Of course their cheap price comes from their bad attitude and they’re all really nymphos just wanting to f*ck! After being told that they must see it through and no help will be given halfway, our brave men step into the den and get ready for some f*cking. Let’s do this… Of course as expected, we see all the succubus swarm over them and they could be dead had not a huge group of orcs arrive for some revenge f*cking. Yeah, you’re supposed to do this in a large group. Hence the succubus throw them those losers out and go for those pigs. Safe to say, their review of it all is definitely no good. It took 3 weeks for them to recover. Rest up. One day, Crim accompanies Stunk and Zel to mine some fire gems. After that, they go eat some meat. Of course there is a catch. They grill their meat using the body of a salamander succubus. Is this what you call sexy meat? Yeah, time for lots of dirty sexual innuendoes as the guys barbeque their meet in certain places and making her look so erotic. But she wants to continue and take it to the other room. If you know what she means! She’ll even give them half price! Don’t leave her hanging! Of course the guys don’t want to get burnt to death. However it seems only Crim can withstand her heat and so they make out. In the end, Crim has a wonderful experience and gives the maximum score. So she tastes like BBQ all over?

Episode 5
Meidri is approached by a hooded person to hand over a request to Stunk and co. It seems the request is to go f*ck cyclop girls and there is already payment made in advance. Alright. Time to go get some f*cking done. Meidri doesn’t want Crim to force himself if he doesn’t want to go but that angel boy has become part of the horny gang so he gives an excuse that he needs a break. The bar patrons applaud?! At the cyclops’ den, the guys want the biggest bust and the receptionist of course has a selection of wide ranges. Wow. I didn’t know there is a K-cup but after seeing this series, Z-cup and beyond could be even possible. So while our guys can’t wait to f*ck those with big tits, they realize that when the receptionist said big, he meant their eyes. Oh damn. So freaky… Yeah, Kanchal got the one with the biggest eyes. Freaky, dude… Stunk and Zel hope for normal sized ones and they’re in luck. These cyclop girls actually have normal sized eyes but they also have the biggest boobs! Just because of their small eyes, their self-confidence takes a hit. In the end, all review high marks except for Kanchal who just rated it below average. Yeah, can’t get over those freakishly huge eyes… After putting up the review, they wonder who the employer was. Turns out to be a cyclop girl who has small eyes. Because of their truthful reviews, she has now gotten the courage to confess to a human she loves. I don’t know if f*cking too much means the guys now want to f*ck men?! So why are they talking about wanting to ‘eat’ mushrooms?! Oh, you mean f*ck a mushroom or fungi woman. Having a fairy, Lulou to guide them deep into the forest, the receptionist is an experienced one. Aside from the sex puns, she can gauge and tell the kind of woman they prefer and prepare the right mushroom girl for them to f*ck. However when it comes to Crim, she is stumped because she cannot determine angels’ preferences. Anyway, she manages to provide one that is right for him. In the end, all rate highly their experience. Best mushroom experience ever without even going into any sort of hallucination effect!

Episode 6
Wow. They’ve been f*cking everything and now they’re thinking on what to f*ck next?! Meidri suggests f*cking the next species that comes in. Of course this is a joke but the guys take it seriously. And the next species? A golem! Yeah, they’re going to a golem brothel. Is that even a thing? They’re not really too enthusiastic about it until the receptionist tells them they can actually make their own girl. So basically, build-a-slut, huh? Yup, they’ve got everything you need. Though you can use one that a previous client made for a cheaper price, it defeats the purpose of coming here to make your dream slut. Kanchal has this great idea as he makes a golem version of Meidri. Stunk and Zel also want one and Crim after thinking about it, also wants one. In the end, all of them rate very high and Kanchal giving the maximum score. But when Meidri finds out… Oh boy, the bar is closed for a beat down of those perverts! Keep those combos coming, lady! Hope they learnt their lesson… With denizens of darkness at the bar, it is sucking the vitality out of Crim. Hence his pals suggest taking him to somewhere with light on his next day off. And that of course means a brothel. So they are going to f*ck light creatures? WTF are light creatures?! Oh. Will o’ wisps. So I see the light conveniently covers their erotic parts. No matter what angle you look, you can’t see them. Oh my, Crim’s dick is one huge pillar of light!!!!! In the end, they review it with just average score. Because sex takes place in the public hall as customers can go in and out freely, making all the sexual activity public. Something about if done in the room, it’ll be too bright to see anything. Only Crim rates it as zero! Because he was so embarrassed the whole time and his angel eyes could see everything clearly. So unless you’re an exhibitionist and into orgies, this niche f*cking is your cup of tea!

Episode 7
Something is wrong with Meidri as she excuses herself. Stunk and Zel believe it is that time. Time for her to lay an egg! They are curious to see how it is done but the last time she beat them up. Don’t worry. There is an egg laying show for all you perverts who love to see girls laying their eggs! Not kidding! It does exist! So they head there and wait for those ladies to answer the call of nature. It seems a lot of Lamia and mermen are interested in this since they get to eat the egg after it is laid. Also, chefs and gourmets are willing to pay a high price for the egg just to cook and eat it. So the first female is up… A lizard woman? Ugh. While everybody else cheers, Stunk, Zel and Crim are cringing at this disgust. Even more so when the next one is a crocodile lady. They want to leave but it seems the next girl is of a penguin species. A bit cuter but still that doesn’t discount the fact that laying eggs now look like something gross. In the end, the trio rate the show with low scores. You mean it’s not zero? Only Narugami rates highly because he loves eating those eggs. Meidri also popped a few herself but is quite disgusted that those guys went to such a show. And as you could expect, she beats them up when they tease her now they know how it is done! But these guys didn’t learn their lesson as they feel hungry and want to go make omelettes from Meidri’s eggs. WTF is wrong with you guys?! Meidri beat down part 2! Wow. No sex this episode but it was surely a weird ‘eye opening’ fetish.

Episode 8
Oh sh*t. WTF is this girl raping scene by the KKK???!!! Turns out that this entire place is some roleplaying fantasy brothel where the babes act out to their roles given. Some of them are good and some of them aren’t. So if you’re like Kanchal who demands perfection all the way in the act, he’s going to be a tough customer. I guess it is no more an act when the girls see Crim’s ‘tower to heaven’! Yeah, they want to get raped by that! In the end, they rate averagely high scores for this idea. Stunk, Zel and Brooz contemplate on a mission that will have them be away for a week but the reward pays very high. Of course they’re going to do it but they have to make ‘preparations’ for such a long journey. Yup. A trip to the brothel. This time a real succubus brothel. The succubi here are able to provide you with all your whims and fancies down to the smallest detail. Then we get to see Crim take the ‘spotlight’. Turning Crim into an angel mayonnaise bottle, we see the succubus playing, licking and sucking it real dry. Must be delicious. In the end, our horny f*ckers rate the succubus sex with high marks. If they always provide the best service then why don’t they come here often? You see, despite being able to provide everything, the succubi will drain your life force and pleasure will start to become strain. Then it will take about a week before you get your usual libido back. No f*cking for a week, huh? I guess they can really concentrate on the mission then.

Episode 9
Hmm… No sex reviews for a week, huh? Yeah, Stunk and co have gone on that faraway special mission. It’s getting too quiet at the bar… So we see the special quest that they are doing is just delivering a casket for this vampire dude, Count Delivel. His castle is so far out so as he could sleep longer. So to thank them for their work, he takes them to the nearest brothel. I guess nobody visits this one not only it is so far away but because they’re all undead! So they’re f*cking zombies this time, huh? So while our Ishuzoku Reviewers give just average score because of the rotting stench during sex (the undead is one of the most unpopular species to f*ck with), only Delivel gives high marks because he f*cked his loyal vampire mistress. Crim has gotten into this f*cking groove too because despite not being on this mission, he went to a brothel himself. This time some slime lotion brothel. I don’t know. Some witch putting magic slime lotion on you and you get orgasm from the tentacle slime rape? Well, Crim rates it very highly so it must be good if you can make an angel feel like that. Thanks to all their f*cking reviews, there a spawns of copycats. Stunk and Zel don’t like their idea being copied but do they have grounds to sue? But they still enjoy reading those reviews. One of them includes a female director who was reviewing and filming lesbian porn. Yeah, I think she climaxed too while filming the juicy yuri shoot. Then they read a review that has a brothel ranked the full perfect score by the reviewers. Unfortunately it is located in the faraway magic city. Don’t worry. Kanchal has prepared their ride there and with their extra money from Delivel’s mission, I’m sure they don’t want to miss this one out. They invite Crim to come along and you can see his eyes lit up. He’s so happy to join them. Meanwhile Meidri realizes she lost a pair of helping hands at the bar. F*ck those perverts!!!

Episode 10
Arriving at the magic city, after paying a hefty upfront fee, it seems everyone gets to do whatever they want with this decoy doll which is a very perfect clone of a mage named Demia, for 3 days. Of course that means only behind closed doors because there was a time when everyone started f*cking her in public, yeah the sight wasn’t pleasant and thus open space f*cking was banned. We see a very shy Crim being serviced real good by the doll. Great bath time moments. Then there is Stunk having a really good time with his but cannot decide whether to give it perfect marks or not. Next morning, she even cooks breakfast for him but he prefers to eat her out, if you know what I mean! So we also see the rest enjoying theirs according to their fetish. Crim relates how she is waiting for his halo to regenerate before he can return to heaven. No need to wait so long. Because she will take him there now!!! We see Demia gladly having angel juice. I guess semen is only for humans… Anyway, she is using it to test it on various elements and hopes she can make a killing out of this research. Though, she would love to get her hands on his halo but luckily it is against company policy to take something from the customers. After 3 days, the dolls say their goodbye and disappear. Our reviewers feel sad to part with them. Yeah, it was definitely a good time to the last drop. Hence all of them give the maximum perfect score! In addition to that, they have the Centaur ladies deliver their reviews to every nook and corner of the land! Wow. Everybody now wants to come here and f*ck! This place is really heaven on earth! Only except Meidri. She’s working like mad nonstop at the bar and it’s hell for her.

Episode 11
By the time our reviewers come back, Meidri is relieved because there is this hot looking succubus guy who has business with them. So apparently he went to all those places that they rated lowly and f*cked those girls again! He thinks they don’t understand women and that is why he filled them with his passion and pleased them all! He gave maximum points to all of them! Of course our reviewers are just giving sarcastic remarks for his reviews. And then suddenly, his girlfriend stabs him in the heart! She accuses of running of with her money to ‘chase his dreams’ and blew all on the prostitutes. The rest restrain her so succubus guy talks some sweet words to make her realize she still loves him. Heh. Women. In the end, they are taken away and they know the succubus guy is going to live because he has a heart near his crotch area. Yeah, stab this one and he’ll die! Later, it seems doesn’t want to visit more prostitutes since he is short on cash. Yeah, Meidri cutting his pay ever since visiting the magic city. Although Stunk pays him in advance for the reviews, Crim still won’t go because visiting such joints still costs a lot. They suggest he take up quests and Crim still insists. Meidri had to put those guys in place and ignore their pervy calls just to get Crim back to work. Then Kanchal comes in. He is loaded with gold. He got it from the guild. Remember those reviewers trying to copy their work? Instead of trying to stop them and make no profit out of it, why not have them pay their share to them and the guild if they want to continue doing this. Yup, those reviewers are going to be their financial investors! Now they have the cash, they bug Crim to go prostitution reviewing but of course Meidri won’t allow them till he finishes his job. By the time he does, they’re already drunk and wasted. But that still didn’t stop them from getting their sex tonight. This time they visit some leprechauns. Thing is, they drink until they pass out only to have sex. I wonder how they can write reviews but they did. Not sure what kind of scores they give but it sure showed they were drunk. Only Crim didn’t get drunk and gave a moderate score. Then they realize they also hit other joints and f*cked. Can’t remember those! Worse, they spent all their money and their reviews are sh*t! Oh no. Time to go make some money. And hence they go adventuring so much that they actually saved the world from a certain impending doom! WTF?! WAS THE WORLD EVER IN DANGER WITH SO MUCH F*CKING AT EVERY CORNER????!!!!

Episode 12
Stunk and Zel review their mementos. Yup. Name cards from all the brothels they have visited. It’s like their badge of honour, f*ck version. Seeing one reminds them of the demon brothel that they never got to visit. They want to call for Crim but he is busy away waiting for some old tree to finish grinding the herbs. Waiting and waiting… I guess angels don’t do well with demons so it’s off to the demon brothels then. The moment they flash this name card, instantly they are given the VIP treatment. After the sex, they are explained why demons view contracts very important hence it is essential that you word them properly or it will turn out differently than you think. Hence our reviewers now understand why they were roped in to help in the review because it is to help give a better perception of demons. And who else better than them Ishuzoku Reviewers who give credible reviews. In the end, our reviewers rate demon sex highly. With these reviews out, Demon Two reads them to her boss who is not pleased that it came too late because the election is over and she lost! But considering the public views have shifted, she may use this to help in her next election. Demia then visits her as they talk about the airplane thingy from another world she saw to be created. It makes transportation easier. Sure. How about funding? Well… When we win the next elections. But upon realizing the other world has no magic whatsoever, she isn’t so eager to trade magic for airplanes now. Meanwhile Crim is still waiting… Is this the face of an angel who waited patiently or the face of one who has not have sex for a week?!

Everyone prays to usher the New Year. As Crim is unfamiliar with this custom, she asks Zel and is told about it. Of course Crim doesn’t think God listens to their prayers because if He does, he would have gone back to heaven! Zel tells him to be careful because that kind of statement will destroy the religion state of this world! Oh sh*t! Taking their minds of this, Stunk talks about f*cking their best f*ck last year so that they will have another good year of f*cking. However, magic city is very far and costly. Okay. Next best f*ck. Stunk goes with some elf girl, Zel with Mitsue, Kanchal the golem sex dolls, Brooz some furry beast and Crim prefers that hyena woman. Better not even think about Meidri because she won’t hesitate to really kill you this time! As they go to get their first f*ck of the year, too bad they are all full! Then the fairy receptionist comes by to thank them because of their reviews, their place is now full and only for reservation. But the reviewers didn’t give them high scores. That’s because there are many who aren’t confident with their junk. Besides, many don’t care about the scores. Just the honest reviews. She then gives them a special place to go that will surely satisfy them. If not, she’ll give them a freebie. Well, it doesn’t make them happy since she’s quite an old hag… So in this place she recommends, all their favourite girls are here. They think they aren’t real and just shape shifting off their memories. But who cares, right? As long as they enjoy their f*ck! And so they enjoy it that they give it almost perfect scores. Here’s to another year of great f*cking. On another day, Stunk and Zel got another great idea for review. Why not do a harem? Yeah. Sex is going to get more intense this year.

The Sex Files: The F*cking Sexperts!
Have penis, will f*ck. Ah, that’s the simple motto that these perverts sex reviewers have. It is also safe to say that the f*ck not for procreation but for recreation. Now that they are going to take their reviews to the next level, it is only a matter of time they may get bored and do some homo stuff! Oh sh*t! I don’t think I want to read those kind of reviews! With so much f*cking to cover, I wonder if they will give us another season? Well… What controversy are we talking about?! Well… Yeah…

This series was too controversial and raunchy that there was this initial hullabaloo surrounding it. The infamous Funimation who streamed the series and after 3 episodes in, they decided to cancel it because they found out it wasn’t part of their standards. Really? After 3 episodes? They didn’t know what they were streaming? Of course they were being thrown brickbats and everything, mocked and ridiculed for their whatever double standards or no standards at all. And when you try to ban something, people want it more. For that current time, this series was already quite popular with viewers and to do something like this (all because one single idiot didn’t like it and complained, causing the ‘righteous’ company to bend its knee) and taking it down from its streaming site was just an insult and a big rip-off. Eventually, other sites streaming it also followed suit. So are we perverts doomed not getting our weekly sex reviews?! Not quite.

Luckily for us, the saviour in the name of AnimeLab decided to carry on so that we can get our weekly fix. And with that, this scandal is soon blown over and quickly forgotten. Nobody is really complaining now at this point, right? Now we fans are happy and at least somebody is making a decent penny from this. I guess it’s true that when you decide to become woke, you get broke. What a joke! Hope you learn your lesson that you can never defeat porn no matter what measures you take!!! As long as there is great demand for it out there, it will surely exist.

Though fanservice and sex galore there are aplenty throughout this series, but honestly in my personal opinion, I didn’t really get stimulated or hard on in all of those scenes. Simply because I’m not a big fan of watching sex or porn of other species! That’s racist! But seriously. Even watching the female monsters having a good time and orgasm makes me feel all weird inside. I mean, really. Think about it. Do you really want to f*ck an octopus girl? I mean, really?! DO YOU?! You have got to be some sort of an ultimate sex maniac to do it with all sorts of creatures. So like our reviewers. As long as their dicks are functioning and the other party has a vagina, it’s all green light and good to go f*ck. Otherwise, my personal view is that watching those sex scenes are just cringe, just to put it in the mildest way that I can say it.

Sure, there are other hot non-human chicks out there that resembles closely to humans such as the elves. But I’m still not totally turned on. One reason in particular is because of the art style. You see, the overall feel of the anime has this cartoonish outlook. Even so, the ‘worse’ part is that many of the female prostitutes are somewhat flabby. I don’t think the word fat is accurate to describe them but I think they’re more of flabby. Even the slim ones seem to have this sort of look. Yeah. I’m so high standards that I prefer slim chicks. So sue me! With the art and animation one kind as well as the plump and chubby looks of the female characters, I hardly ever thought of even fapping at all! Though the art style generally reminds me of another anime series, Hen Zemi, this series isn’t produced by Xebec but rather Passione (Joshikousei No Mudazukai, Citrus and High School DxD Hero).

Seeing that this series relies a lot on such sex scenes for the reviews, as expected, there is the censored version and the glorious uncensored one. I watched the former because my imagination is superior! Also, as I did mention in my previous paragraph, the weird art style was somewhat a turn off so I don’t want to give myself ‘nightmares’ watching the uncensored version. Yeah, I’m so high standards in my beauty taste. Anyway, the censored version in a way may be annoying because censors prop out to cover the necessary parts but sometimes they are big enough to cover almost the entire screen. This is evident when there are multiple naked babes on screen and the blocking of the censors just can’t make you see anything. Perhaps this is a subtle way to go tell the viewers to watch the uncensored version if you don’t want to see such annoyance. Yeah well, my imagination is still superior! You can’t beat that, haha! But certain scenes are too raunchy to be shown and hence the entire screen is blank while the words of advising us to use our imaginations to imagine such scene will be displayed on the screen. Yeah. I guess we still can’t cross the line over to porn. See, what did I tell you of having superior imagination! Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting hentai. If you still can take more, at the end of each episode, a short segment hosted by Mitsue or some dirty old professor (can I call him the Nutty Professor?) to ‘enlighten’ you on some sex techniques or just purely dirty jokes.

I noticed that there are also quite a few sex puns in the conversation. However this is only because of the English subtitle translation that I noticed. Though my Japanese vocabulary isn’t all that good, I can still pick up a few words and their conversation is mostly normal. If not, just slightly raunchy for some puns. But the English subtitles really ramped it up with their creativity with some of the lines really turned into sex puns and sexual innuendoes. You either laugh or cringe. I’m mostly the former, if you want to know. It is befitting if you think about it because lacking all those f*ck words in English considering the kind of show this is, is just unreal. I even wonder if the names of our f*ckers are derived from sex puns. Stunk = junk. Zel = gel. Kanchal = cunt. Brooz = Boobs. Crim = creampie…

Basically there is no character development at all! Hey, this show is about f*cking, why the f*ck do you care about who is getting f*cked or the one f*cking anyway???!!! So essentially, Stunk and Zel as the main characters and the backbone of the Ishuzoku Reviewers, you can call them brave or just sick perverts. They f*ck and review first so that you don’t have to go in and then later regret your actions. While their reviews are ‘helpful’, please bear in mind that this is only based on their personality and preferences. For example, Zel who is an elf is very much age conscious. So he will not f*ck anything that is over 100 years old because apparently it’s like doing in his mom and grandma. But for Stunk, as long as you look like a hot sexy babe, his penis is always ready for action. Although many of their reviews are not very contrasting, it ultimately still boils down to their preferences. So you have to read their reviews with caution and a pinch of salt before you make your judgment. What they say is good may not be good for you. If I should say, what are you sex-pectations? Haha! After all, this is somewhat very similar to movie critics and the mass audience.

And Crim… Can he be considered as a fallen angel now? Yeah, this angel is corrupted by the desires of the flesh now. By the time his halo regenerates and he is allowed to return to heaven, heck, will he be even allowed back beyond the Pearly Gates?! Crim might not be as perverted as Stunk and Zel and he is still very much a shy person when he does his reviews. Does this still make him an angel? Well, until God says so. Which brings the question of heaven into context. With so many brothels and f*cking around, you wonder if anybody in this land would be going to heaven. Perhaps the heaven here isn’t the same definition in what Christians’ heaven would be. So it would really be interesting to see if Crim can really go back to heaven at all. But even in the case he couldn’t, he could continue to stick around and f*ck more prostitutes! Oh yeah. I think he’ll choose the latter. After all, he has got the biggest dick in the mortal land! Those girls are lucky they could f*ck an angel! And don’t despair all of those going to hell. I bet there are brothels there too! Now you can actually f*ck demons instead of eternal suffering! This is so messed up.

With so many types of species and monsters in this world, it just goes to show that sex is everything. It is like an extreme rule of Rule 34. As long as a species exist, there is a possibility to just f*ck them. Hence across the land, there are brothels here, there and everywhere. Every nook and corner of the kingdom. Like as though the entire kingdom itself is a red light district. Maybe it is just superficial as we are not shown the other areas of the kingdom so we assume that everywhere is a f*ck shop. Heh. I don’t think we would even care if there is a pasty chop in the land. We just want to know if there is a prostitution service for this certain kind of species! So every mythical creature you can imagine exists right here to fulfil you carnal desires. Want to f*ck a Cyclops girl? You got it. Hyena woman? Never thought those existed but they do. Slime girls? Your ultimate fantasies come true! Fairy girls? No dick too small to handle! Zombies? Not even death can f*ck us part! Absolutely proves that sex is the universal tune that everyone can agree on. So I bet that even when you die, heaven or hell will even have brothels at your service! I wonder what are the terms and conditions to f*ck with God!!!!!!!!!!! I know I won’t be able to handle Him but if that possibility exists, you bet there are bold ones who wouldn’t even think twice to try!

I suppose to keep the variety of the reviews, the fourth member of Ishuzoku Reviewers is usually one of the minor guys. Be it Kanchal or Brooz and some appearing only once or twice like Narugami or Delivel. It would be boring to just here from the same guys all the time, right? So when is Meidri going to get done in by those guys? Haha! If that ever happens, it will only be on the deepest and darkest porn of the web. So Meidri being the most mature of the pack because she puts up with all the perverted talk those usual reviewers do but she won’t stop them from doing it because it’s none of her business. Also, they patron her bar and bring in a lot of business thanks to their reviews so I guess it’s not all that bad. So really, when will the do a review on Meidri?! Perhaps Queen Meidri doing BDSM seems to likeliest…

The opening theme, Ikouze Paradise by the trio of Stunk, Zel and Crim… Wow, it sounds so much like Village People’s YMCA! Or at least, In The Navy or Go West. I guess these are their better hits than Sex Over The Phone. But anyway, the tune is catchy enough and filled with lots of sexual innuendoes to make you want to sing and dance along. Though, not necessarily getting your libido up or bust a nut because in my case, you already know why. Young man, there’s no need to feel down/ I said young man, just take a look around/ I said young man, pick the best girl in town/ There’s no need to be unhappy! The same trio sing the main ending theme, Hanabira Ondo which sounds like a traditional festival song but infused with more sex innuendoes into its lyrics. Then they ramp up the sexiness with disco, rap and hip hop fusion. Sexy weird?

Overall, this anime is definitely unique and making the conversation for all the right and wrong reasons. If you don’t like sex in your entertainment, definitely you’re going to scream your head till it explode and it’ll be so before you even finish the first episode. Otherwise, this ecchi masterpiece is just for pure entertainment and enlightenment on what it’s like to have sex with everything else that moves under the sun. Or lurks in the shadows. Sure it’s weird but sex itself is weird. We’re all here to have a good time, right? This anime doesn’t disappoint in that sense if you have an open mind (and libido). Though I have to admit that I do have interest in sex but I’m not that sex crazy so I’m going to pass and not even think of f*cking the other species. Because hot sexy human female teens are my only type. That’s racist! Okay. Whatever. As long as I like it. But where can I find those hot singles near my area who wants to hook up with me?! So I give this series a 6 out of 10. Not because of the sex reviews. Rather, the sex puns that I can learn and use for as cheesy pickup lines. Or not. So enough reading reviews already. Get up and go bust a nut today!

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