Tantei Wa Mou Shindeiru

Oh no. Not again. Looks like I didn’t learn my lesson the last time. Obviously I was going to give Tantei Wa Mou Shindeiru the skip because you know, detective genres aren’t my cup of tea. Even the synopsis wasn’t that appealing to me. BUT! Yes. There’s always that but exception. Looking at the promotional poster and how cute those 2D chicks were, you bet I’m going to sign this up mainly not for the story or the characters but those kawaii girls. Sighs. I mean, yeah, that was how I ended up watching Kyoukou Suiri, another detective-like anime with a cute girl as the protagonist. And now the same mistake was made again. Just because they had hot girls on the promotional poster. Double sighs. I bet any mystery cases with me will be easily solved in no time.

Episode 1
Kimihiko “Kimi” Kimizuka is on a plane when the air stewardess asks if there is a detective around. Sure, he is a detective but he is not going to volunteer himself. You see, he is a trouble magnet and often gets into troubles. This time somebody whisked him onto the plane with a suitcase to be delivered. The girl sitting next to him, Siesta says she is one and then proceeds to drag Kimi as her assistant. They are taken to the cockpit where the lone hijacker, Bat wants them to play a game. Guess why he hijacked this plane and he’ll spare everyone’s life. If not, he’ll snap the pilot’s neck and everyone will die. Not valuing his own life? The thrill is to put his life on the line. Siesta then answers: It’s because he is bored and has too much time on his hands. It is evident since he himself said it. Bat laughs as accepts that answer even if it’s not the correct one. He is willing to be arrested when the plane lands. You think things will go back to normal but Siesta is aggravating the situation by further analysing that Bat is scared to die. Because it is too easy for him just to give in to a girl like her and she thinks he has been ordered by someone to do this. If he fails, he dies too. So he thought if he quietly surrenders, he might not die. How does she know all this? She knows him beforehand and the hijacking. Even his comrades who ordered him to do this. A good detective handles that case before the incident even occurs. Bat then turns his ear into a monster tentacle and tries to attack them. Siesta explain this guy is from SPES, a secret organization that produces androids with superhuman powers to covertly menace the world. Bat is facing punishment for betraying SPES. Gee, I wonder if there’s enough space at the back of the airplane for the passengers to evacuate as they fight in the first compartment. Can Siesta jump and dodge so effectively and Bat doing damage without breaking the plane? Kimi has an idea but needs her to buy him time. He comes back with that suitcase. Inside is a rifle in which Siesta uses to defeat Bat. She pretends she has killed him so he is no longer SPES’ target. He tries to attack her but his tentacles disintegrate. Her bullet is special and is made from her blood. It makes him unable to defy her. On the ground, Kimi wonders how she made that bullet so fast. Actually she made it beforehand. After all, she was the one who set up Kimi with the suitcase to board this plane. Remember what a good detective is, right?

Now Kimi is further bugged with Siesta staying at his place! Damn, this guy really attracts trouble. She wants him to be her assistant and fly around the world but he keeps rejecting her. And she keeps staying. So we see them trading sarcasm until Kimi points out a case in his school he needs to solve. Apparently there is this outbreak incident where that urban legend Hanako abducts you and turns you into one of them. This has been happening lately with students especially from the track and field disappearing. Even from home. Then they deviate talking about Kimi’s normal boring life that he wants most. She thinks he is a lonely person with no family and friends. I guess she’ll be taking the case? Kimi is surprised that his school now is having a cultural festival. Funny, he didn’t even help. Did it happen during his misfortune? Boy, they sure didn’t bother to tell him. They go around and looks like they’re having fun. Are they on a date? Time to visit the toilet stall that sparked the Hanako outbreak. As they wait, they hear somebody coming. Oh, it’s that bunny guy that they met outside the school gates. He runs. They chase. Not sure about Siesta’s logic that they need to camouflage themselves too and hence they start dressing up. Don’t they have a culprit to catch? In the end, sorry Kimi, not a cat maid outfit she is wearing. But a lovely wedding dress! You’re the groom. Can she run in this? They spot the culprit trying to escape the school grounds. So long and this is as far as the culprit gets? Don’t tell me Siesta is going to jump out of the window! Don’t worry, her shoes are special. It can fly! Woah! In the aftermath, we see Siesta and Kimi explaining the truth behind it. Apparently a drug that elevates mood and improves condition was making its rounds. But because of its memory impairment side effect, thus many skipped school. Hence addicted students turned to selling it to get money to buy it. The drug is made from some flower pollen and hence the sneaky Hanako moniker was used as cover up. Siesta points out that SPES may have a hand in this and extends her offer for Kimi to join as her sidekick. He asks what are the benefits of doing so. But he already knows why she needs him. As a trouble magnet, more incidents with SPES will occur. Hence the only rewards she could offer are those improvised on the spot. He is about to turn down whatever she says but she offers she will protect him. Well, since it has reached this point, might as well.

Episode 2
Nagisa Natsunagi is bugging Kimi if he is the legendary detective. After sticking her hand in his mouth and letting his face sleep in her boobs, can he say no? Even if he denies, she shows proof of articles about the cases he solved (although they didn’t name him directly, it is most likely him). Nagisa needs him to find someone she wants to meet. However, she doesn’t know who! It all began a year ago after receiving a heart transplant. As a kid, she had a serious heart disease. Until last year a suitable match came and saved her life. Kimi believes that she wants to meet the owner of the heart or someone close to her saviour. Although not scientifically proven, there have been reports of people taking after the character of the organs they received after surgery. He thinks this case is solved because it is not her who wants to meet the heart’s owner by a memory from another lifetime that has nothing to do with her. Nagisa is not happy with that answer. Even if this heart saved her, she still wants to meet that person and pay back the favour. As they meet up, Kimi catches a thief in action. Then he hands him over to detective Fuubi Kase. She isn’t impressed it is him again because 3/4 of cases in this area got him mixed up in it. Fuubi is also the person whom Kimi wants Nagisa to meet. Why her? She is different than other detectives because of her resolve. After hearing her out, Fuubi unfortunately says they aren’t doctors but thinks someone can help them out. She lets them in a special prison to see Bat. Nagisa has her reservations about this guy being an android. Until he shows his ear tentacle. Kimi wonders if he has met Nagisa’s heart’s owner. What is faster than telling her? He attacks her heart and his tentacle disintegrates! OMG! That’s Siesta’s heart inside her?! Kimi is in shock and tries to brush it off as coincidence. But Nagisa hates that answer and slaps him. She claims this is a yearning and even after death, Siesta wanted to see her. Hence Kimi is the person she is looking for. Kimi hugs her as he remembers all the crazy international escapades he did with her. That was 4 years ago and they did that stint for 3 years until she died before him! In the aftermath, Kimi thinks Fuubi knew and set this all up but she plays ignorance. Kimi tells Nagisa that her heart may not be hers but she is free to live her own life. He thought she grabbed him from the back but turns out to be an eye-patch loli seeking the help of the legendary detective.

Episode 3
Rising idol Yui Saikawa needs his help to stop a thief from stealing her family’s heirloom, a sapphire necklace. Uhm you want to shout that out louder so the public can hear you? Nagisa claims she is the detective and this guy is just her sidekick. But since they’re busy today, they’ll hear her out tomorrow at her place. Back home, we hear Nagisa’s narration about feeling alone for so long and that it feels like she’s been looking for someone. When she was young, she was always ill and hence that feeling of wanting to put on running shoes and sprint around. That wish became so desperate one day and that’s how she ended up seeing Kimi. Kimi and Nagisa are at Yui’s huge mansion as she divulges the details about the upcoming thievery. The thief left her a note in advance to warn her about the steal. Hence she wants them to help prevent it. As she will have a live concert on that day, all her security guards are actually her fans! Not enough manpower, huh? So why not take it to the police? They can’t act on just a threatening note. I suppose she can’t dangle some money for them, huh? Principles. As or why she herself is requesting this, you see, her parents are dead and she is now the family’s head. Yui then shows them the necklace and as Nagisa excuses herself to toilet, Yui continues to mess with Kimi with weird pervy jokes. Funny idol. Funny guy. On their way home, Nagisa reveals she had a dream about Siesta. Anyway, they were fighting and Kimi thinks he is the source. Nagisa flusters and refutes that they were fighting over him. So Nagisa agreed to take up this case because of money? Need to buy a new swimsuit? But she assures him she won’t die easily. Easier said than done? The day before the steal is Yui’s rehearsal. Damn, Kimi dressed up in full idol gear to go watch her?! What’s this about being dedicated to the job?! Even as Yui performs before the empty stadium, Kimi is cheering her like a true crazed fan! The cringe on Nagisa’s face… Yeah, she’s going to be good at retorting. Then one of her songs that is about the sapphire, Kimi believes this is where Yui seals up her secret. After the rehearsal, a suspicious fan tries to attack her but fled. After advising Yui to beef up security on her concert as well, Kimi seems to have figured it out that Yui has been lying.

Episode 4
Kimi and Nagisa arrive at Yui’s concert in full swing. They still think they have a song more before the finale to look for the culprit but looks like Yui changed the line-up and sings the all-important song. They desperately go searching. Do they even know who they’re looking for?! Kimi narrating that the real target is Yui herself. Because behind that eye-patch is a very valuable sapphire fake eye. With all the noise, Kimi calls out to Bat to pinpoint the culprit’s location. Yeah, can’t miss that shady hooded character with the crossbow on the balcony. As the song ends, Kimi saves Yui from the crossbow fire. At the backstage, she thanks them and reveals the truth. Blinded in her left eye since young, she had low self-confidence so her parents bought this sapphire eye for her. At the same time she went into this idol job and became much happier. But the gloom came back when her parents died. Hence during this song, she makes a special performance by taking off her eye-patch as a sign to show her parents in heaven that she is here. Now, anyone might think that the case is solved but Kimi goes a step further by asking her about the penalty for failing to kill them both. Yui acts dumb as Kimi presses that her secret might be out but not her lie. Further proof as he calls Fuubi who then confirms her team has disarmed a bomb at the vault that would’ve killed them. Yes, the duo are the other targets. Kimi suspected this because Fuubi doesn’t know anything about the threat letter. Kimi believes she isn’t from SPES but threatened by them. Her fake eye is valuable as it could see through stuffs. Kimi and Yui pull out their gun at each other. Kimi’s further suspicion of Yui stems from her perfect depth movements and judgments despite having most of her visions from one eye. Uhm, did she not get used to it? He went so far as to test that by setting up that fan to attack her during rehearsal. He believes SPES will still take her fake eye even if she kills them both. As Yui breaks down from the thought of not being able to live without her parent’s memento, Nagisa wants them to become friends. Even though she tried to kill them, Kimi believes it will benefit both of them. Because now SPES wants them both dead, it is better for them to stick together. Can she say no after all this? Meanwhile Charlotte Arisaka Anderson is looking for Kimi. Flashback shows when Siesta was still alive, Charlotte and Kimi didn’t get along well. But Siesta wanted them to compensate for each other’s weakness. You know, Kimi for his brains and Charlotte for her fighting prowess. Of course Siesta herself is superior in both many times fold. She hopes they will get along with each other for the long term. And on that same day is when Siesta died.

Episode 5
Yeow! Siesta in a swimsuit! Oh yeah! Gawking too much at her dynamite body to not pay attention that what they’re talking. Uhm, some emerald they need to steal, whatever. Yeah, those boobs! Eh, make some money out of it, whatever. Oh yeah, show me that ass! Ahem. Back to serious business, we see Siesta and Kimi investigating the case of people’s heart being ripped out by a killer named Cerberus. Of course the plan involves using Kimi as the bait. Yeah. So as Kimi waits in the hotel, late that night, somebody visits his room. No cause for alarm, just Charlotte. Looks like Siesta told her to help him. But Kimi soon realizes this is an imposter as Charlotte has never referred to Siesta by her name. So this is Cerberus. A shapeshifter. Tonight is a full moon so he is in werewolf mode. Cerberus wants to take Kimi’s heart as part of his mission. Kimi fends off enough before Siesta comes barging in and pumping a few bullets in him. He tries to escape, lamenting he just needs 1 more heart to complete his mission but is killed off by Hel instead. She’ll just take his heart then. Who this girl? She is the leader of SPES. Before Siesta could should her, she is hypnotized. Before Kimi knows it, he is in a room and Hel having a chat with her. Something about the Sacred Writ that is some prophetic sculpture. It seems Hel wants Kimi to be her partner. He isn’t actually a trouble magnet but causes trouble to manifest. By partnering with her, she hopes to save this world. According to the Sacred Writ, Kimi will eventually join her but no harm in having him join her early. Of course he turns her down. Then she shows him a huge monster. This is a biological weapon for terrorism as it spews toxic gas. It doesn’t need provision as it was already fed with all the hearts. Hel just wants to show him what comes next just to convince him why he’ll be her partner. At this point, Kimi has freed himself and vows she will be stopped now. Of course not by him. Great timing too as Siesta riding a mecha breaks down the wall to come to her sidekick’s rescue.

Episode 6
So did Siesta stole it from the government in her bid to rescue her sidekick? Never mind. Get in. We’re saving the world! Note it is a bit tight since it is only a single seater. Monster vs mecha, let’s see who wins. However the monster retreats and the mecha gives chase. They talk about the destiny given to them. I evil, so I destroy world. I good, so I save world. When the monster surfaces and starts spewing toxic gas, Siesta ejects Kimi and does a kamikaze move by ramming into the monster. In the aftermath, Siesta is still alive but Kimi scold her for doing such reckless move. He needs her to take responsibility for making him join her international escapades so he won’t hear crap about her dying on him. Lovely ‘proposal’ interrupted since Hel isn’t dead. She is about to hypnotize Siesta but it backfires and stabs herself instead. So the pocket mirror did the reflection trick? As Hel can’t die yet, she calls out to Chameleon and just like that she disappears. With Siesta considerably injured, Kimi has to nurse her. Can’t have her dying on him. Siesta laughs since it’s like he loves her so much. Okay Kimi, don’t spoil her too much. On his way back after getting apples, he sees a girl sleeping in a box, Alicia. She wakes up and thinks she will be attacked. She’s waiting… As expected, Kimi is no lolicon. Turns out she has amnesia and doesn’t remember much. Hope she enjoys all the apples he bought… When Kimi returns, he sees Siesta trying to make the base for an apple pie. Oh dear. Should he tell? Worse, Alicia then comes in clad in only a towel. Awkward. Well, it was raining on the way back. You can tell Siesta is mad despite that smile. Lolicon. There goes your chance of seeing Siesta in an apron ever again. After learning of Alicia’s case, Siesta agrees to help her search for her identity. But it won’t be for free. She wants her to work as a detective. This means food and shelter will be guaranteed. Alicia still isn’t sure. She doesn’t have confidence as a detective. Oh, she can boss around Kimi. Accepted! Conveniently it’s time to get back to work as Fuubi mentions Cerberus might be resurrected as there is a new victim with a harvested heart. But Siesta thinks it is Hel. Fuubi also has some clues that might lead them to Hel and an item that could bring down SPES. An item called the Eye of Sapphire.

Episode 7
Alicia is raring to go as the legendary detective! Yeah, she’s running here and there like an active kid while Kimi has a hard time catching up to her. She quickly jumps to whatever catches her interest and Kimi has to clean up or remind her otherwise. Damn, this is the hardest babysitting job ever. 2 weeks passed and now they are celebrating Siesta’s recover although they still didn’t get the Eye of Sapphire. Some small talk, here and there. Alicia wants to go find it now since she is reminded but since it is getting late, she’ll do it tomorrow. Then they troll us some adult time with Kimi and Siesta. Uh huh. Are they going to do it or now? It’s hard not to think otherwise since Siesta keeps jiggling her cleavage in our face! But too bad for those really expecting something. All that cock teaser ends up with nothing much happening. Next morning when they’re sober, Siesta gets embarrassed upon realizing what happened last night. She takes out a huge syringe with memory erasing effect! Stick out your arm! Oh sh*t! This is not the hentai play he signed up for! Luckily saved by the bell because Alicia rings on their door. Apparently she has something more important than finding the Eye of Sapphire. She gives Kimi an eye-patch in hopes he takes care of his vision first. Since his injury with Hel, his left eye’s vision has been slightly affected. It’s the reason why he kept losing Alicia during the babysitting. Siesta somewhat feels ashamed for not showing such consideration but Kimi accepts that she is just human. Kimi then gets a call from Fuubi. However it seems she did not talked to them about the Eye of Sapphire. Wait a minute. Who was that Fuubi they talked to then?! Kimi then realizes something is wrong because that Fuubi then somehow had the lighter she previously handed to him. The plot thickens…

Episode 8
Kimi and Siesta discuss if Fuubi was Hel in disguise. Did she have shapeshifting abilities? Siesta mentions that as androids, they have a core. Taking it means one inherit those powers and Hel could’ve inherited Cerberus’ power and mission. Either way, they still have to put a stop to this. Alicia wants to join in the help but Siesta wants her to sit this one out as it is getting more dangerous. 4 people are already dead. After all, she was just a substitute detective. Alicia remains stubborn and will prove to it she is the real deal. Okay then. Alicia jumps with joy because if she is successful, Kimi will be hers! Oh no, what have you done, Siesta… Don’t look now but there is a fifth victim now. They talk to the mother of the victim who is obviously distraught that her only pride is gone. Siesta sounds harsh in asking tough questions but it is Alicia who soothes her. Later explains about the way she conducts thing. Basically she’ll do whatever it takes to take down Hel and hence asking whatever needs to be asked. Kimi then talks to Alicia. He gives her a ring she wanted so much so she plays a mock wedding for him to put it on her finger. I guess he is a lolicon. Siesta ‘stops’ this ‘wedding’ and although admits she needs to rethink her methods, she believes her way is still right. One night, the lolicon can tell Alicia is in danger and goes to find her. He sees her lying unconscious in an alley. Next to her a bloodied unconscious cop. Kimi takes Alicia to hospital and leaves the rest to Siesta. F*cking lolicon. Alicia looks pretty fine in hospital. She freaks out upon learning Kimi had a tracker on her (the ring) and that’s why he knew where she was. Yeah, it detected her body vitals too! Asking why she is obsessed in doing all this, she claims she remembers only darkness and boringness. When she experienced the wonders of life, she thought she could be reborn as a new person.

Kimi stays with her but wakes up in the middle of the night to find her gone. He tracks her down to the chapel but finds Siesta there. She gets down to the bitter truth that Kimi might know it as well. Hel is impersonating as Alicia. Possibly the cop was attacked by her and the knife weapon on the crime scene came from their kitchen. What about Fuubi the imposter? How can Hel be in 2 places? Alicia was there too. Cloning technique? Siesta believes Hel has an accomplice to pose as Fuubi. Time to find out from Alicia herself. Yeah, she too had this feeling of something like that. She thinks she has an alter ego because she can’t remember her other times. It could be those times she was committing crimes. Kimi tries to claim she is human despite she claims she is nothing but bad news. Can’t stay with him anymore. After this emotionally charged drama, Alicia finally loses her consciousness and attacks Kimi. Siesta quickly subdues her but before she can finish her off, Kimi points his gun at Siesta. What are you doing, lolicon???!!! This falling out allows Chameleon to retrieve Alicia. He is so kind to tell them where their base is and to come get her. So I guess Kimi and Siesta both feel like idiots. They reconcile that they’re both right and it’s fine that way. Now to go buy some apples, make the greatest apple pie and tea and then rescue Alicia. They have all the time in the world, right?

Episode 9
With Charlotte, they head towards SPES’ base. Kimi and Charlotte infiltrate the base and are shocked to see corpses all over. Then the boss turns out to be a shapeshifter. He is actually not human and actually a seed from outer space. His mission is to spread its seeds for survival and naturally that means eliminating humans who get in his way. Wow. Now it makes sense, doesn’t it? Note the sarcasm. When Seed hints Hel is not in this base, Kimi and Charlotte realize Hel could be with Siesta now. They rush back but Chameleon stands in their way. Charlotte fights him so that Kimi could find her. Kimi sees Siesta lying dead on the ground. He applies CPR but before he could do the mouth one, she springs back to life. Did she troll him? Apparently she fought Chameleon earlier on and realizing she was no match for him, she feigned her death by stopping her heart. Don’t even ask how! This cute drama is interrupted because now they have to fight Hel. From her explanation, it is confirmed that Alicia is her other personality generated from all the experiments done on her. Hence Alicia is like the vessel to take in all the pain and anguish. Siesta fires at her but only grazes her shoulder. Hel tries to put up Alicia’s act but this doesn’t convince Siesta. As they fight and Hel about to finish her, she is thrown off balance when Siesta accuses her of lying. She deduces Alicia was the first being and Hel was the imposter who tried to get close to SPES. She did so perhaps she wanted some attention, somebody to love her. Thus Hel envies Alicia. Hel denies all this and hypnotizes both of them to kill each other. However that did not happen because of the twisted logic that they trust the other more than themselves. HUH???!!! WHAT???!!! Fight continues but interrupted by that biological weapon monster. Siesta saves Kimi from being its fodder but it is Hel who kills it, wondering how the hell it escaped from the lab. It’s called plot convenience. With Hel losing too much blood, she then rips out Siesta’s heart. Kimi offers his but Hel reminds him about he will become her partner one day and that’s why he must live. An angry Kimi tries to punch her but he couldn’t. He gets madder when Hel asks his relationship with Siesta. Cue for flashbacks of all the fun things they did together. Gee, that’s a longwinded way of saying he loves her. Kimi then passes out and the next thing he knows, he is in his own bed.

Episode 10
Nagisa narrates how she sometimes dreams of Siesta. Due to their different personalities, they often end up arguing but Siesta always wins. Yui thanks her detective pals with a trip on a huge luxury liner. But on this liner is also Charlotte. This is the first time they’ve met since Siesta’s death. She doesn’t like Nagisa and thinks she’s just pretending to be a legendary detective despite inheriting Siesta’s heart. Nagisa disagrees but whatever. Charlotte will be the one who’ll take Siesta’s dying wishes. So as Yui takes Nagisa to the pool to cool off, Kimi talks to Charlotte. It seems before Siesta died, she told her one of her bequests and her investigations led her to believe one of them lies on this ship. So I suppose her gambling losing streak wasn’t it, huh? Charlotte asks him about taking up Siesta’s role. He says he can’t because he was picked to be her sidekick and will always stay that way. They part ways since they’ll use their own way to find the inheritance. Later Kimi wants to talk to Nagisa alone. You bet she is going to have the wrong idea because she dresses up nicely for it! Look at her disappointed face when it was not what she expected. Yeah, it’s about Charlotte, huh? Anyway, Nagisa explains why she wants to take up Siesta’s role because when she was young and sick, she was afraid she would never leave her room and die like that. So when she got this new heart and breath of life, she thought she had found her new freedom but realized she could only live by relying on Siesta. Next morning, an announcement says that Nagisa is held hostage at the lounge. But when Kimi and Yui head there, only a note saying to bring the bequest at the deck at 8pm or else. The duo go to search for it but they don’t really have any clues on what it is to begin with. I suppose that is why we waste some time about Yui talking and trying to give Kimi some hope. She thinks of becoming the sidekick of the sidekick. And will she take another sidekick then? Feels like a joke. On the deck, Kimi calls out to Chameleon. There he is, threatening to drop Nagisa overboard. Kimi laments he would give the bequest but doesn’t even know what it is. Chameleon then gives him a choice to either save Nagisa’s life or the rest of the passengers. If they wanted the blood of the legendary detective dead, why the f*ck give this choice?! Anyway, Nagisa says to shoot her and save the passengers. I guess that sad face reminds him of Siesta. So yeah. F*ck all that. Some crappy philosophy on how she should live her life. He has decided. Nagisa cannot die before him. Then he fires his gun.

Episode 11
Kimi shoots Chameleon’s tail and sends Nagisa falling into the sea. But wait. Yui catches her in her speedboat. All as planned. Then a short flashback of Kimi and Siesta because well, we need to remember how Siesta’s smile was so worth of it for him. Kimi sounds like he has a death wish but Chameleon now in his monster mode won’t die with him. He rants his plan to kill him and then torture the girls and kill them. Kimi still taking pot shots at him? What if he runs out of bullets? Don’t worry. Charlotte is here! Fuubi piloting the helicopter so Charlotte can fire her machine gun arsenal away. Do we need her to remind us that she hates him but since Siesta chose him, she has no choice but to rely on him? Anyway, Chameleon then strikes the helicopter’s fuel. He disappears. Can’t see me, haha! Don’t worry, using Fuubi’s lighter, they burn the deck! How the f*ck did Chameleon get on fire?! You mean he was just standing around?! Kimi and Chameleon try to kill each other but the latter breaks a hole in the ground as they fall through. Damn, the helicopter must have unlimited fuel since it is still leaking while still hovering over the ship! Cue for Kimi to have flashback the moment Siesta died fighting the monster. Before Hel could kill him, Siesta then suddenly takes over her body. Well, she absorbed her heart, right? As Siesta won’t have long to maintain this form, she tells Kimi what he needs to do. Basically it would’ve been easy to kill Hel and just that. But since Alicia mentioned about wanting a normal life, you see where this complication? Yeah, she planned all this from the start. One day when Alicia awakens, she wants him and her to take down SPES. Kimi refused to accept this and is happy to have Siesta in any form or conscience. However he is weakening from the flower pollen of the monster. Yes, this was how that drug was made. Siesta is confident she’ll do his part and promises that she will return one day to see him. It might take some time or a very long one, but she’ll be back. And with Kimi remembering Siesta’s final wish for him to take down SPES, he gets up to have a mortal combat with Chameleon. But that won’t happen since a special bullet is fired into the beast. That similar sarcastic chide. Is Siesta back? Yup. But in the form of Nagisa. Hey, whose heart is she having, remember? Welcome back. I guess Siesta has awakened from her siesta! Sorry for the bad pun.

Episode 12
Flashback when Siesta took over Hel’s body, she mentions her regrets that she didn’t want to die since she still wants to see him laugh and all. But the next time he wakes up, she’ll be gone and she needs to find a new name for this new identity that she’ll become. So back on board the ship, it’s time for a long and strange reunion with Kimi and Siesta as they fight Chameleon. Uh huh. It’s like fighting this baddie feels like a mockery and just secondary. Because all that running around and taking pot shots at the monster, they can still concentrate and banter each other with sarcasm and embarrassing moments. Would you like to know what happened after that nearly sex incident? Siesta also reveals that it was Nagisa who pleaded for her help to help Kimi. This also serves as one long weird goodbye. She praises him for managing to stand his ground over the years and also to nurture his friendship with the other ladies. As for the sex part, though nothing actually happened, Siesta admits she would like to try it once with him. Oh, that’s supposed to attract our attention from all this boring talk?! At this rate Chameleon is transforming into Godzilla and damn we don’t even see how they take him down!!! All those pot shots did something?! Or they used some magic?! Whatever. I don’t care now. In the aftermath, Kimi talks to Charlotte and mentions about his meeting with Siesta. Then he goes to meet Nagisa who is having trouble deciding if she should continue this detective business. He tells her how she let Siesta took over her body on her own volition. Siesta was against it seeing the entire body doesn’t belong to her. Except the heart. She thought it would trouble him if she showed up again but Nagisa tells her to see it for herself. Kimi notes Nagisa’s special ability to awaken the emotion in others like she did so many times to him and Yui. He tells her to continue this detective business. Nagisa intends to since she has been tasked by Siesta. Not only her but with him, Yui and Charlotte to take down SPES. That is her inheritance. Yeah, who would’ve guessed her dying will is her inheritance. They try to get our attention again after all this boring talk with Nagisa hinting to come to her room for some adult activities. Only, the announcement sure wrecked that because it is calling for any detectives on board. Déjà vu definitely. Sex will have to wait. Last scene shows Siesta naming her new reincarnation as Nagisa.

Dead On Arrival
ZzzZZZzzzZZzzz… Yawn… Oh… It’s over?! It ended?! It is done?! Hooray!!! Oh man, the final episode felt one long boring ride that somehow it felt as long as the first episode which almost had an hour of running time! Damn, did I just experienced Einstein’s relativity of time here?! Damn, it’s like they want to dedicate the final episode as a big reconciliation between Kimi and Siesta because you know, that legendary detective left so suddenly without saying goodbye, now this is a chance for them to say their goodbyes properly. Or else Kimi will never get over it and move on. Yeah. Then Siesta’s dying wish of taking down SPES will never materialize. It might not be an epilogue for Kimi because despite the detective already dead but not her dying will that is forever, I’m glad that’s the end of the road for me and all those who weren’t too impressed with this pseudo detective series. Now we can wake up and go do other stuffs! :-).

Like I have said before, the story isn’t anywhere near interesting to me. Making it even more boring is how the so called detective deductions don’t really feel like, uhm, detective deductions. Maybe it is because I am very much a big simpleton so such complicated mind deduction stuffs don’t really get me thinking. But anyway, from the way we see the detectives handle Yui’s case and even the first episode airplane hijack, it all just feels very iffy. I don’t know, perhaps there is too much dialogue in trying to explain the deduction. Therefore coming off to me as just reading from the script and pulling it out from the air. It sounded very much like that to me. In other words, I wasn’t even the slightest impressed and mostly I was like “Oh, so that’s it? Whatever”. Yeah. That kind of feeling. It just felt mediocre and uninspiring.

Even more so, the title feels like a big troll. I mean, it isn’t technically lying to us but when you have the main character already dead, how else can you feature her again? Why, in flashbacks of course! And this is what half of this episode is about. It would be really odd for a series without having one of the main characters who is supposed to be a main character, right? And of course the technical loophole that Siesta isn’t really dead yet because of her special heart that has her live in whoever has it. So it wasn’t a surprise to me that Nagisa was technically Siesta herself because once the shapeshifting riddle of Hel was exposed, it didn’t take me long to question about Nagisa. I mean, if Hel took Siesta’s heart, how the heck did it end up in Nagisa? Why would Hel do some heart transplant and give it to some random high school girl? Oh wow. I figured that out so fast even before the big revelation. I’m feeling so smart now!

Even when Alicia first popped up, my guts were ringing like hell who this character is because she wasn’t featured prominently anywhere at all. Okay, maybe the opening scene of the ending credits animation gave a big hint but that is only if you put the pieces of the missing puzzle together. I mean, Nagisa and Yui are seen here and there but Alicia? Who is she? Who the heck this random loli character? Could it be… Hel?! Gasp. Why do I have such thinking in the episode that Alicia debuts?! Well, true enough, we saw what happened. I guess I spoilt myself. Not sure if I’m feeling so proud that I deduced the whole thing or if this was so flimsy written that a dumb guy like me could even decipher the mystery and so called big twist. With her character around, it gives rise to the moral dilemma of not killing of Hel because doing so means killing an innocent loli. That wouldn’t make a good detective, right? I know the connotation of detectives and seigi no mikata (allies of justice) don’t really go hand in hand with each other even though they should but I guess it’s to show that our detectives here have a conscience. Yeah, we sleep better when no lolis were killed off during production!

The characters feel boring. Even the dynamism between Kimi and Siesta felt boring. It’s like they want to make something funny of the interactions between them but it comes off as weird. The irony that they are almost polar opposites in their thinking and ideals but eventually they come around to work and trust each other. Can I call it plot convenience? Because like Kimi, I think he is just an idiot in love with Siesta. He is just using this assistant and sidekick excuse of his to continue what he is doing. This series wouldn’t have materialized if Kimi really did not give any f*cks about Siesta and carried on with his normal life. But here he is, still b*tching about his dead detective boss and the excuse to take down SPES extends his reason to do this paltry detective job. If there were any lapse in his memories, we can blame those flower pollens he inhaled then because what convenience they are as they to alter memories. Yeah, your convenient plot twist playing its paltry role here. You smart people may have seen this coming, right? Also smart enough to note the figurative speech at play here that the legendary detective might be physically dead but as long as her dying will is carried out, she isn’t technically dead. Hence she’ll forever live in our hearts. Ah. Memories work like this too, you see…

Siesta on the other hand sounds like she is smart and maybe she is. She claims she always made preparations and is many steps ahead, hence she can proudly claim that many of her cases are solved because she already put in a lot of effort before it even begins. Yeah, I know it’s a good way to prepare because if you want something to turn out the way you want, might as well architect and design your methods that leads to so. The so called big revelation and twist in the cases we see here. Or maybe she is just pretty lucky. Uh huh. Makes me wonder if Kimi as a trouble magnet, his bad luck has been orchestrated by Siesta since birth! You don’t know what Siesta is capable of. And also, they troll us about the Kimi x Siesta romance because with Siesta’s sometimes poker face and ambiguous actions, it feels like she is leading him but in the end it just turns out to be some sort of nothing burger. After all, you don’t want to have that kind of character in Kimi whereby he can’t move on because he is in love with a dead woman, DO WE???!!!

The other characters are pretty meh either. To help fill in Siesta’s shoes, hence you’ve got Nagisa so we viewers can eventually tell that it is a time period that Siesta has passed on. Well, sorry but Siesta has always been inside her all along. The biggest clue is her heart inside her but we don’t know how it works until the series nears its end. So Nagisa is actually Siesta who is actually in Hel’s body who is actually the other side of Alicia. Oh damn, four characters in one body?! I can’t write this sh*t up anyway! Too bad they also try to troll us with some romance potential but with Kimi more preoccupied with thoughts on Siesta, Nagisa drops to the next tier. Although technically Nagisa is Siesta so I guess just a different form? Oh f*ck it, this is becoming more complicating. And Yui, maybe another extra loli character won’t hurt. The assistant of the assistant. Okay. Whatever. Being a target of SPES provides a reason good enough for her to be part of the detective ragtag.

Charlotte. I have to admit that this is the pretty face that suckered me into watching this show. I am not sure if it is a good thing or not because Charlotte feels a lot very lacking in this series and feels a lot like a side character. As the series focuses mostly on Kimi-Siesta dynamism, Charlotte feels like the third wheel and is mostly left out unless plot convenience calls for her to show up. To prevent this show from being seen as a harem, hence Charlotte’s distrustful stance against Kimi. But she could be tsundere. Who knows? It’s not like we know anything about her character, right? How did she end up working under Siesta? What are her origins? All that not really answered but I suppose I shouldn’t complain because even if they flesh her out, my bet is that I’m going to find something to nit-pick about her. Yeah. So just stand there and be the pretty dumb blonde for me to gawk at. Thus the other good thing about her making minimal appearances is so that I won’t get distracted spacing out gazing at her blonde beauty. Heh. Sighs.

The same can be said for this Fuubi character. She is another underused one just like Charlotte. I mean, why need someone like her when Siesta is already doing a fine job as a detective? Don’t need overlapping characters. Overlapping loli characters okay but not characters like these. Heh. So perhaps somebody to handle the police work, huh? Sometimes I feel like she may be just biding her time as a background character and then in the final stretch of the series, they’ll spring a surprise or two about Fuubi and it’ll be another one of those big twists we’ll never see coming. Let’s say Fuubi piloting a helicopter was not the surprise that I was expecting.

The antagonists are just f*cking pathetic and one dimensional. Like Hel herself who is supposed to be Siesta’s ultimate rival but I don’t even see that kind of dynamism between them. They’re just weird girls on different ends of the good and bad spectrum who need to take each other out because why not. Cerberus and Chameleon also feel like they needed some sort of mini antagonist for the arc itself so that we can have more Kimi-Siesta flashbacks and see more unseen footage of them talking together in the past. Hey, 3 years is a freaking long time and a lot of things could have happened in between. Bat is as forgettable, serving whatever he needs to do whenever he is needed. I mean, SPES really going to let this failure live? Whatever.

Speaking of SPES, it feels like one of the most clichéd moment that Seed being the so called antagonist and big boss of SPES. So they’re like alien seeds trying to spread themselves all over the universe, huh? Is that what SPES stands for? Seeds Propagating Everywhere from Space?! HAHAHA!!! I made that up but hell I’ll be damn surprised if that is actually what it stands for! So okay, it is not fair for me to say this antagonistic organization is useless. Because there are a lot of things we don’t know about it and it is not entirely fleshed out properly either. In a way, it keeps the enigmatic charm (if I should call it that) of SPES because you’ll wonder what kind of secret underground organization this is and why does it want to give mankind a bad day. Until that seeds from outer space thingy. Damn, I though this could be a bad plot from the 30’s or something. But yeah, at this point I don’t even care how bad or dangerous this organization is because the way they played out the final episode to focus on Kimi and Siesta, it’s like nothing really else matters.

The few action scenes here are just passable and it’s not the main element of this series. But some of them could get a little bit bloody although the blood colour seems to be adjusted to make it not look like blood. Well, I guess Cerberus and Chameleon are monsters so don’t expect them to have normal dark red blood like us normal humans do. The most disappointing one I thought was the final battle between Kimi and Siesta against a monstrous Chameleon. They really usurp this battle series to drag out the melodrama between them. Hey, this is not a battle action series to begin with. Not sure if they were breaking its own rules too because Siesta shot Chameleon with her special bullet. So Chameleon shouldn’t be attacking her but he did. And after shooting so much and evading this angry reptile, the dynamic duo somehow managed to kill him? Did he eat too much bullets or ripped a vein because he was just so angrily charging at them? Well, it’s not explicitly shown if he is dead so we’re free to draw our own conclusions. I’d like to believe he is dead to save future trouble of bringing him back for future plot conveniences. Basically, that’s my way of saying I don’t really care.

As you would have already known, the great looking characters are the reason why I checked out this series. Yeah, sure the girls look cute but the other art and animation just feel rather okay. I mean, it is pretty standard, so what is else there to complain? On occasion some nice special effects but like those pollens fluttering but that’s so much about it. On a trivial note, Yui’s twin hairstyle colour reminds me of BanG Dream’s Pareo. And why does Chameleon look like Bleach’s Gin Ichimaru?! This anime is done by Engi who did Uzaki-chan Wa Asobitai, Hataage! Kemono Michi and Full Dive.

There are a few recognizable seiyuus here like Ayana Taketatsu as Nagisa, Takehito Koyasu as Chamelone, Jouji Nakata as Cerberus and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as Bat (suppressing himself hard enough so we won’t try to pigeonhole him as Kirito). The other casts are Saki Miyashita as Siesta (Miki in Houkago Saikoro Club), Arata Nagai as Kimi (Kokoriki in Nanbaka), Kanon Takao as Yui (Aku in Maou-sama Retry), Yumiri Hanamori as Hel (Nadeshiko in Yuru Camp), Saho Shirasu as Charlotte, Maria Naganawa as Alicia (Kanna in Kobayashi-san Chi No Maid Dragon) and Mai Fuchigami as Fuubi (Nagisa in Ansatsu Kyoushitsu). The opening theme is Koko De Ikiteru by Mary x jon-YAKITORY. Didn’t like this rock song and is that why all that abstract colourful geometric shapes in the opening credits animation to distract you? Swirling shapes! Swooshing shapes! What the heck is going on?! At least the ending theme, Kodou by Nana Kagura is more bearable as it is more of a slow rock. But I didn’t really like it either as I feel the singer’s voice is soft and weak.

Overall, this series is definitely a disappointment. It is not even a good detective series to begin with and many I bet watched this only out of the curiosity from the title itself. So yeah. Now we got our answer. Sort of. Technically already dead but not. If that isn’t bad enough, the characters are just boring and not memorable. The only plus point are the cute girls but I bet many of you out there don’t share the same sentiments. So now that I have got my curiosity satisfied, it is time to bury this anime forever and make this series take a siesta forever. Let it stay dead! Don’t you dare attract trouble by making a sequel out of this! What stays dead, stays dead. No resurrection business, okay! And don’t you even dare turn this into a zombie flick just to f*ck with us either! I’ll be damned if Siesta ever comes back as a ghost! Please, don’t! This series isn’t the least worth of representing the least bit of Siesta’s heart, if you know what I mean. Because Kono Anime Wa Mou Shindeiru!