Val x Love

February 16, 2020

Imagine the world is on the brink of destruction from demons. God somehow can’t save it. Instead, he sent his daughters down to do the job. However it is not their raw powers that will help save the world. Because they have to go an extra step of finding love. Yup. They said love brings out the power in the maidens as love is their source. What kind of love? Perhaps one of the most ugliest and scary looking kids in Japan to make love with them and prove that it is love that will save the day. I kid you not, this is actually the premise of Val x Love. It is one of those cheesiest and twisted of excuses to bring about your typical fanservice. Of all things… Of all things! Anybody could have thought up a better reason, excuse, plot, story, outline, whatever. But they come up with this. Are you serious?! Did anybody think that they seriously thought this could actually fly? Yeah, it did. Oh well. A fanservice harem, huh? I guess it’s better than overpowered isekai genre. Heh.

Episode 1
The guys are talking which girl will be the one who will win this year’s school beauty contest. Will it be the doll-like Natsuki? Or would it be the student council president, Itsuyo? Perhaps idol Mutsumi will take the crown. But when suddenly a ‘demon’ stands up, everyone cowers with fear! Actually, Takuma Akutsu just wants to go home but because of his big size and scary face, they think he is going to kill them! Yeah, some even jump out of the window! The scariest teacher is even afraid of him! Some think he is that serial killer because there have been incidents of the killer wearing a demon mask going around killing people. Takuma is actually a gentle giant. Just because of his frightful looks, others stay away from him. He too developed a phobia of humans and thinks the only thing he needs is his books. Yeah, he doesn’t need friends. He returns home only to see those aforementioned hot chicks changing. Some are pleased, some aren’t. It seems not only they are residing in his house but the rest of the other Saotome sisters including Futaba, Misa, Yakumo and Kukuri. He really wishes they would leave but can’t find a way to tell it to them nicely. Futaba thinks Takuma is interested in Natsuki and sets them up to study together. Cliché moment when his eraser dropped between her legs and he had to go pick it up! What does this pervy scene look like?! We all know he doesn’t have a dirty mind. His dream is to fulfil his late mom’s wish to study hard and become a respectful person. Futaba then sends them out to do errands. Suddenly a real demon pops up and starts attacking. Natsuki manages to put up a barrier but cannot hold much longer. Because of Takuma acting like a coward, she feels disappointed in him. Until he shields her from an attack. She realizes nothing has changed and hence this weird make out scene so she can power up and transform into her Valkyrie mode and defeat the demon. Yeah, some Norse legend about how the Valkyries are powerful the more love they have. That is their source of power. Why does this sound like a porn setting? The sisters are glad with this outcome as Futaba calls the eldest sister, Ichika to accept Takuma. However she still refuses to accept that weakling. Flashback sees Odin, the ruler of Asgard communicating with Takuma. Midgard will be engulfed in flames in a few days from demons and he wants Takuma to help. Don’t worry, he won’t go empty handed. He bestowed him his 9 beautiful daughters, the Valkyries so that he would grow and become stronger by falling in love with them. Love will save the world! Told you this sounds like a porn plot! I guess Thor is busy away at MCU saving the universe with Avengers from Thanos! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Episode 2
Itsuyo is the top scorer across her grade for the exams. Mutsumi also does well but Natsuki not so. You think Takuma’s grade would be good too since he studies a lot. Wrong! He is dead last! Thanks to his phobia of people, he can’t concentrate on studying. Natsuki sounds mad at him not because she is so but rather she is frustrated he worked so hard and yet he still failed. Takuma is called to the AV room. Suddenly Itsuyo binds him with his chains. So she intends to power up now by dating him? Okay. Whatever. It seems Itsuyo doesn’t really care about Takuma. All she cares about is becoming the strongest Valkyrie and then earn Odin’s praise. Basically, father complex. However everything she tries failed because Takuma himself is nervous with this close proximity. Later a demon is spotted and realizing she is not strong enough to tackle it yet, Itsuyo wants Natsuki to fight it first to buy time for Itsuyo to power up and then join in to help. So this is all part of Natsuki’s sly plan to get even more intimate with Takuma. She thinks she can do better than Natsuki’s kiddie kiss on him. Oh yeah. Sexy time. Is this were they start f*cking? Unfortunately as we know, Takuma isn’t stimulated but he is getting so nervous that he is getting a headache! And of course after all that mature adult talk, Itsuyo baulks and slaps him! WTF. She feels she has not changed and is still a cry-baby as always. Takuma seeing the tears in her eyes remembers how mom used to pat him when he is sad. He does the same on Itsuyo. His giant hand felt like Odin’s warmth. I guess a kiss is enough for Itsuyo to turn into Valkyrie mode. Just in time because Natsuki almost got tentacle raped by the demon! With Itsuyo’s chains binding down the demon, Natsuki easily destroys it. In the aftermath, things return to normal. Natsuki notes something intimate must have happened between Takuma and Itsuyo and hopes he could keep this up and cure his phobia. Why doesn’t she look happy? One of the student council members, Tooru Inukai AKA Garm is actually a watchdog and he is not happy this is how the lover of Einheijer presents himself.

Episode 3
It’s Mutsumi’s turn to date Takuma. In order to level up, she has to successfully finish this date without anyone recognizing her as the famous idol. At the café, a classmate Yamada brags about being the tough guy and badmouths Takuma. Once he realizes Takuma is sitting behind him, that guy apologizes and jumps out the window! However everybody else thinks it was Takuma who threw him out. Although Takuma is used to this, Mutsumi feels bad for him and only by the fact that everyone is afraid of Takuma that is keeping their focus away from her. Their date continues and Garm is watching them. He intends to break their date up but has a better idea. Instead he unleashes a mini demon. It doesn’t have battle abilities but it blurts out that Mutsumi is here. This gossip lover demon has everyone in a frenzy to look for Mutsumi. Takuma takes Mutsumi’s hand and run. She loves this feeling despite the chaos? Trapped, the duo hide in a locker. Yeah. A very tight space. Oddly, Mutsumi is really having lewd thoughts and is hoping Takuma would get it on with her. Too bad. Your guess is as good as mine. This guy is so nervous that he is reciting his studies! Oh Mutsumi, you sound so disappointed. Mutsumi needs to kiss Takuma so that she could power up and use her wings to fly away. However their height difference means their lips can’t meet! So how? Unbutton his shirt and start kissing his chest?! You see, there’s this kiss chart whereby the further the body part a Valkyrie kiss, the longer it will take to activate her powers. I guess blowjobs are out of the question in such desperate times, huh? F*CK THIS LOGIC!!!!! And the mob is starting to notice something strange going on in the locker. Will they make it? Yes they do. Whoosh! Out they fly into the sky. Best part of this date is the view of the beautiful sunset. Takuma has fond memories watching this with mom. The date is successful and Mutsumi gains more experience points. It seems Ichika was there and partly help distract the mob to let the duo get away. Garm also realizes Mutsumi had a bodyguard and felt right not to head straight for her. Ullr warns him to quickly rid of the Valkyries but Garm tells him he needs to perfectly prepare them to be devoured. Speaking of which, the upcoming school cultural festival will be the ideal Valkyrie hunting ground.

Episode 4
All work and no play makes Takuma a dull boy. Hence the sisters try a change in pace by playing a game of tag. But with a twist. The person who is it must snatch panties! WTF?! And it’s everyone’s worst nightmare when Futaba becomes it. I suppose this is to let Takuma have some weird moments with some of the sisters like him petting Itsuyo’s head (because she ‘allows’ him). And then he gets blasted away by Misa so that she and Itsuyo could take on Futaba, this lands him in a very compromising position with Yakumo. Loli doesn’t appreciate his molest and tells him to go die! While Yakumo and Natsuki fend off Futaba, Takuma thinks of hiding in the storeroom but he hears the voice of Shino from inside as she tells him about some story of a coward. Eventually, it’s some lesson to tell him to fight and reach for his goal instead of running away. Game is over when it is revealed this whole tag is to give Takuma a study charm. Eh, I don’t think he feels refreshed after all this tension. I don’t even know panties got involved… With the festival around the corner, the girls want to take this chance to level up. They are concerned with Odin’s recent wrong oracles. Are there any suspicious people around lately? Not that they could think of. Natsuki looks forward to the festival but she is somewhat irked that Takuma doesn’t pay attention to her? Yeah, just staring at his books. Since their class is doing maid café, she gets the honour to dress up and test out the maid outfit. Not bad, I approve! So they have to test out whether it works too? Like Natsuki have to serve Akuma?! Yeah, lots of jealous guy. Demon guy so anxious. Maid cutie anxious. Inukai doesn’t even know WTF he is doing here. He must be cringing inside although on the outside he puts on a very nice face. As you can expect, Natsuki tries to serve him but with both being nervous, cue for this cliché ambiguous scene of cream dropping all over Natsuki’s face and she over him. Inukai then releases something that turns all the jealous guys into attacking demons. WTF Natsuki gets weak when one of them licks her feet?! And when she calls out Takuma’s name for help, instantly he becomes Superman and beats the crap out of all of them. Yeah, who needs Valkyries. No wonder Inukai is relishing their human form is so weak. On the way home, Natsuki once more chides Takuma for just studying. Until he notes she was cute in the maid outfit. That caught her off guard. Embarrassed Natsuki runs all the way home while poor Takuma is left to wonder if he said the wrong thing.

Episode 5
The cultural festival is here. Yakumo must be a sadist as she forces Takuma to lick her dripping wet hand. And then when he gets clumsy and spills all over her, she undresses and wants him to lick all the wet parts! Thankfully (or not) Natsuki is here to stop this unholy act. With the other sisters here, Futaba asks if Takuma would like to be Natsuki’s partner for the dance party. Because he fears others would hate him for it, he thinks she would be better off with someone else. Of course Natsuki takes that to heart and she’s not pleased. Hey, wasn’t it her fault being a tsundere and said she haven’t thought of dancing with him? Then Takuma joins Misa and Kukuri in the haunted house. Big strong guy scared of ghosts or people? Kukuri as a goddess scared of ghosts? Misa tries to talk to him about Natsuki. Apparently some jealous guy had his eel slipped and it entered Misa’s clothes. I don’t even know how it swims around like that. You want Takuma to take it out? Don’t be mad when he feels you up. Greatest molestation scene for now. Once he grabs the eel (too bad it wasn’t her pussy!), he rushes out and lets it go in the pond. He is then approached by Inukai who then slices a hole in his guts! Because it is cue for the demonic party to start. A huge demon pops up and some of the guests are being controlled by the demons. The Valkyrie sisters rush to contain the enemy but they are puzzled that Takuma is nowhere to be seen. Could it be he fell victim to the enemy? With more and more demons attacking, I guess we need the obligatory tentacle rape scene. Yup, those demon hands outraging the modesty of Itsuyo and Mutsumi. Best feast ever for now. Meanwhile Takuma is with Garm who is enjoying this entertainment. Takuma is weakened and being pessimistic, believes for the umpteenth time he can’t keep his promise. And of course a flashback of having an argument with Natsuki about his uselessness. Even if all that was true, he has come to her rescue many times. That is why she will keep continuing to believe in him because she believes inside his soul resides a sword that is greater than everyone else. I hope she didn’t mean his dick… Haha! Anyway, this gives Takuma the strength to stand back up but still Garm pounds him. Don’t interrupt his meal. Sorry, Futaba is here to interrupt. She found him thanks to Ichika tagging everyone at the festival. Boy, it sure took some time, huh? You know she’s serious and badass when she puts on her glasses. She doesn’t want his pantsu but his life. Wait. Garm wears pantsu?! Of course not, silly!

Episode 6
Futaba keeps Garm busy while she lets Takuma escape. However Garm’s fangs shred open his stomach till his body rips apart! Fortunately, his charm turned into some Misteltein tree and put him back together again. He fights his way through the demons (with some help from Ichika) to get to Natsuki. Girl slaps him for being so late. Then she hugs him and is relieved he is fine. He just went through sh*t, you think he is fine?! In order to power Natsuki up, they must enter this Val Love ritual in which they must ‘embrace without a stitch of clothing and kiss deeply for 5 minutes’. Gee, glad they specified this part. But they didn’t say anything about penetration… Yeah, somebody wrote this sick part so we can have our twisted fanservice. So the duo start off by wiping each other’s body. Yeah, it’s a slow start since they’re anxious. But better hurry, the sisters are going to get tentacle raped! Once they’re done, it is the deep kissing we’ve been waiting for. Okay… Natsuki seems to be feeling uneasy. So the kiss isn’t working? Then it’s like Takuma is so worried about being her lover that some magical book pops up, he starts making out with her that makes her all warm inside. Oh yeah! Too bad we cut to the chase because here comes powered up Natsuki to save the day. After the monster is destroyed, Garm escapes by the skin of his teeth. Garm is chastised by Ullr for his failure. He notes Takuma’s restorative ability and they need to do something about this or it will get really complicated. Mutsumi won the beauty pageant and is supposed to dance with Takuma. But some flashback thingy with Natsuki, I guess that guy wants to dance with her. Of course Natsuki is shocked, her thoughts are all over the place why he is doing this. He ‘rejected’ her, right? Maybe it is to dance one last time with her so he could be with Itsuyo and Mutsumi? How did this even come about? So as she tries to assert her own worth, Takuma clears the air and explains himself. So misunderstanding over? Then she kisses him. Tsundere says this is so that she can level up. I don’t see any demons around… The dance went smoothly. No jealous people looking so I guess it’s a good ending.

Episode 7
Kukuri created some doctor kit. I guess the Valkyries need to learn to take care of their bodies, huh? So this is part of Futaba’s request so they could play doctor? I don’t think it will- WTF Takuma agrees to play doctor?! Apparently he felt guilty for what happened to them during the festival. So is this how he really wants to make it up to them. Dr Takuma now in session. Futaba is up first. Too bad this turned out to be some boring history lesson so she leaves. Misa disagrees with this doctor game but as she leaves, Takuma accidentally pulls down her pants?! So this was assertive enough to get her play along? Yeah, not sure what lube he is rubbing on her. Itsuyo’s turn… Take a urine test… WTF… Mutsumi… Got a dental check-up. I wonder if she’s enjoying the deeper he goes… Natsuki… How is taking 3 sizes a check-up? Despite commenting on her cute undies, he still gets punched. Yakumo turns the tables on the poor doctor because she molests him just to check him up. Kukuri hears Takuma’s woes and adds something special to the suit that enhances the abilities. However it overheats. To avoid taking everyone down with him, Takuma jumps out and explodes by himself. Yeah, despite being bandaged all over, now the sisters play doctor with him by treating him with goodies. Not so bad after all… Itsuyo seeks Misa’s advice on how to date, thinking she is the master of romance. Of course Misa doesn’t know how that rumour got its way around. She remembers she was either pushed around by her older sisters or busy taking care of the younger ones. No time for love. But so as not to disappoint Itsuyo, I guess she agrees to show her how. Hopefully. With Itsuyo outside and taking notes feverishly, Misa and Takuma go do the laundry. Not sure how this would translate into some date but Takuma gets loads of panty shots and boob shots. He manages to point it out to her and despite acting cool, she is flustering inside. She is having too much on her mind and I don’t know how this happened but it’s supposed to be some fanservice cue so that she could end up entangled with Takuma naked. I don’t even… In the end, the chores are done and Misa feels a bit foolish dragging Takuma into this after hearing him thank her because before the sisters came, he had to do everything by himself in this huge house. And Itsuyo thinks it was such a brilliant date…

Episode 8
The sisters receive another oracle from Odin that a demon will attack. Futaba hopes Natsuki will practice transform but nothing happens when she kisses Takuma. You call that a kiss?! No wonder nothing is happening?! Not even a deep kiss! Just got some of your sisters jealous, that’s all. Oh, just in time for Kukuri to show off her invention that shows the sisters’ stats. You mean they didn’t have this before? Thanks to the recent festival incident, Natsuki’s AP is at zero. Right now the only ones who can properly transform are Mutsumi and Yakumo. Yup, date time to increase their stats. I don’t know how holding hand for an hour can achieve that but Yakumo isn’t pleased. Yes, she doesn’t see how father considers this loser to be the one to save the world! Takuma tries to be considerate seeing Natsuki told her that Yakumo is very sensitive of sound. Because of Takuma’s nervousness, this means his heartbeat is very noisy to her. Unfortunately the date fails when he got distracted. Loser. Next he has to date Mutsumi in some private photo shoot. In a skimpy swimsuit. Yakumo being the cheeky devil tries to spice things up by telling her to flaunt her boobs as well as giving a popsicle to lick!!! And then a demon attacks. Futaba and Ichika keep it busy, enough time for Yakumo and Mutsumi to barely make out with Takuma to transform. Apparently the plan is to keep running from the demon because for prolonged time, their AP will diminish and in the end they will disappear. Yeah, would have done this all the time had the demon’s AP not been so high and our sisters’ level so low! No wonder this is going to take a while. And then some arrow hits the demon. It explodes but also hits the sisters. All take considerable damage. And Yakumo is not pleased that Takuma’s heartbeat is too noisy for her to hear anything. Then Takuma seems to be standing in harm’s way. He remembers what Futaba said about his Einheijer reviving ability and hence the only one who can heal the sisters. And it’s like this gives him the power up to fight back. One punch into the demon! And finally successfully summoning the book to heal the sisters for them to finish off the demon. The one who shot the arrow was Ullr. He can’t take any drastic action to kill the sisters off because Ichika and Futaba could easily kill him then. Finding the revival of Einheijer to be troublesome, he thinks of summoning a certain person. In the aftermath, Yakumo tries to be nice and share her drink with Takuma. But since Natsuki got to him first, poor Takuma got is her usual insults. So mean :’(.

Episode 9
I don’t even know how this is supposed to help Itsuyo level up. In a crowded train, Natsuki is supposed to grope her. She’s doing it real hard because she noticed how developed Itsuyo’s body is. It is supposed to end with Takuma ‘saving’ Itsuyo from the ‘groper’ at the next stop. He manages to somewhat do so but finds his hands groping hers. WTF… I guess that’s enough groping for Itsuyo for today. Ullr and Garm prepare for their princess to arrive but looks like she is already here. Skuld and her maid, Roskva give their initial commands to destroy the Valkyries and acquire Misteltein to save the world. As Takuma walks home with Natsuki, suddenly somebody attacks them. Natsuki protects him but feels she can die from it all if this persists. The attacker turns out to be Ichika who is just testing her. She praises Natsuki for holding out longer and improving. However she is not so kind to Takuma. She berates him for being a weakling. I mean, after all those dates with her adorable sisters and they are still this weak? So apparently as Futaba puts it, Ichika is to be Natsuki’s temporary role as the offensive as Natsuki is still weak. And so this level up task has them scrub each other’s back? Because Takuma cannot summon his book, Ichika is unimpressed of him. Because he isn’t playing the role of the lover, her sisters cannot become stronger. What he feels towards them isn’t love but obligation. To reduce the tension, Futaba sends Natsuki and Yakumo in. I think it’s only worsening things… So as Takuma scrubs Ichika’s back, we hear some narration that the strongest sisters who have mighty powers to fight on par with high level gods have abnormal conditions. Like Shino’s sensitive hearing, Ichika has sensitive skin. Yeah… She’s trying to hold it in… Then it’s her turn, using her body to scrub all over his. WTF this lewd scene… Hold in there, Ichika… If this is too painful to watch, then cheeky Yakumo has a great idea as she does yuri stuff with Natsuki just to tease her! Oh yeah. We prefer this one! In the end, Ichika powers up but due to her low AP, she can’t move after she is transformed. Still trying to talk big when her face is down on the floor, huh? Meanwhile Skuld has a plan to infiltrate the enemy’s base and kill Einheijer in a single blow.

Episode 10
Skuld and her team are on her way to kill Einheijer. They talk about the 3 pieces of Yggdrasil Ea that includes Misteltein, Blot and Mokkerkalfe that consist of very dense aether. Safe to say, it boosts all your abilities. The problem to them is that all the main gods have it and it would be suicide to even sneak in and steal them. However Odin put Misteltein in a human and this is within their reach. Why? Beats me. They are intercepted by Ichika thanks to Futaba’s foresight. Skuld sounds like she is a threat but before she can order Roskva and Garm to kill her, in a flash, Ichika owns them all! Make one move and she’ll kill her underlings. Ichika can also sense Ullr sneaking up on her but when she ambushes him, turns out to be just a normal human. This distraction allows Skuld to kiss Roskva as she transforms into her battle form and summon multiple demons. Thanks to Itsuyo backing up Ichika, they have a chance. However Skuld notices her subordinates have also taken a beating and retreats for now. So this is just a warning? Back home, Takuma’s help to level up Ichika succeeds but unfortunately she gains no AP. So breast fondling didn’t do the trick? Not even shopping? The sisters then discuss on the next action to be taken and they have to be fast since Skuld belongs to the Norn sisters, elite troops for the malevolent gods who stormed the Grasil Palace a couple of years ago. Then the meeting gets side-tracked. Not sure suddenly why Natsuki feels worried about the book Takuma just bought could be a porn magazine. So worried she drank Kukuri’s gadget liquid and becomes drunk. I don’t even… Because this is cue for Takuma to be tasked to put her to bed and hence a cue for Natsuki to start stripping herself so as to flirt her kiddie body with Takuma. And they try to make her sound so disappointed thinking he likes porn mags more than her real body. Yup. They’re also trying to force it with Natsuki trying to feel up to him. Stupid Takuma… Reciting to shoguns of the Tokugawa era… So when the drunk mode is off, Natsuki realizes it wasn’t a porn magazine he bought but a magazine on how to date? Yeah, I guess he is trying to understand his role as a lover better but unfortunately he asked the wrong thing (if she had a lover back in Asgard) and gets beaten up. She gets disappointed he isn’t that brave guy her saved her then because she really wanted to confess her feelings to him. She fears he might reject her if she does so now. Because he continues to be dense, poor Natsuki has to give him a beat down. With Skuld ready for the next attack, it is Futaba’s turn to take to the frontlines.

Episode 11
We see the sisters strategizing over how to defeat Skuld. I guess no use trying to think too hard because it’s time for some Takuma x Futaba fanservice scene. I guess it did power her up as we now move onto the scene whereby Skuld and Roskva have summoned demons to breakthrough Futaba’s great castle defence. Ichika and Takuma are scurrying on the ground trying to find that chance to attack as Ichika explains about Futaba’s abilities that in a way makes her the weakest to fight against enemies. I guess it is cue for Takuma to feel bad and call himself worthless only. Uh huh. The guilt of not being serious enough to help power up the sisters in the first place. You wanna b*tch about this now? Futaba provokes Skuld to attack. When she does, it is perfect timing for Ichika to separate Skuld and Roskva. Her aim is to attack Roskva and sever that power she is feeding Skuld. At this point, Takuma who has been feeling something wrong all the while, he realizes that a demon egg is missing. Yup, he counted them before and now he noticed it. He goes to save Ichika right before Roskva attacks her. Apparently the last demon egg was hatching inside her and the plan was to let Ichika attack and be devoured by the demon. Thanks, Takuma? Takuma is left to carry Ichika and run. Because she wants him to leave her here and return to the sisters, Takuma can’t do that. I figure it’s time for that cheesy make out scene in an attempt for desperate Takuma to power up Ichika. In this dire time, can anybody feel good?! Making out interrupted when Skuld and Roskva attack. No worries. Just run and then continue to make out in a safer place! I don’t even… Then a flashback when Odin asked Ichika if she has an ideal guy. Despite all her doubts and contradictions, she does have one. And that’s supposed to be the catalyst that activates her power? Yeah, love making successful. Not only Ichika has powered up to unbelievable levels, Takuma too has powered up as God! OMG! Does this uniform come with the package of becoming Einheijer?

Episode 12
With Ichika going on the offensive, I guess Natsuki has recovered well enough for this dramatic moment of flying towards Takuma, kissing in mid-air and voila! Transformed! Now we have 2 Valkyrie weapons on the battlefield. Skuld becomes agitate and tries to hasten the attack. The power up does break through the barrier and castle walls. Now that the fight is made public, a soul devouring demon tries to devour the public. Mind boggling Takuma manages to stop it just because of his stronger feelings to protect everyone with his soul? This effect also costs Skuld to lose formation with Roskva who is also weakening due to some illness. Ichika would have no mercy in killing her but with Takuma’s soul worn out as distraction, Skuld takes Roskva to escape. It seems this is just a decoy because Ullr and Garm have infiltrated the castle and stole Misteltein. Because Misa has been protecting the other sisters, Garm doesn’t want to leave empty handed and kills Misa. Sort of. Back home, weary Takuma is trying his best to heal Misa. However he cannot feel her soul. Speaking of which, it is floating in some limbo. Not sure how Takuma does it but he goes to rescue her! If only Takuma could continue to be such a manly man like this all this time… Misa returns to life, turning some of her sisters into big cry-babies. Shino for the first time introduces herself to Takuma. With the recent developments, looks like she will be vital as she is the strongest Valkyrie. I take it she has fully recovered? Back to normal life, finally Takuma has got top spot in his grade. It’s no surprise. Not only he burnt the midnight oil to study but he has hot babes living with him as distraction. Plus, he has to save the world! So do you not think he deserves being number one???!!! And for some strange reason, the timing of him declaring he loves the sisters could’ve been worse. Yup, he does it while they are changing clothes. WTF???!!! No wonder Natsuki gets mad. And of course we hear them think that they know he loves the sisters but eventually would choose only 1 as his lover. Ah, I hope this won’t be the start of the breaking up of the sisterly love all because of a love for a guy.

Fail x Laughable: The Fanservice Maidens
Uhm… That’s it? That is how it ends? So what’s the next plan for the Valkyries and Takuma to fight the malevolent gods? Heck, they didn’t even lay out any plans to take back Misteltein. I am going to assume this is the next plan so why is everyone still living with Takuma? Shouldn’t they go back to Asgard or whatever Skuld and co want to steal next? Oh right. There’s still Einheijer inside Takuma. Doesn’t seem to be all that important to Misteltein. Takuma finally declaring his general love for the sisters gives everyone an excuse to continue staying with him. Because Japan is way more fun that Asgard, right? You bet your money on it, it is. And the big guy who wins this lottery is Takuma. Top on his grades and gaining the hearts of the sisters. Sob, sob. I just love happy endings! ;p.

As you can already see for yourself, the plot itself is just laughable and absurd. It doesn’t really make sense if you think about it. No, seriously. Think really, really, really think hard about it. Odin sending his beautiful daughters to an ugly Japanese kid to prove that love will save the day?! Like, WTF???!!! No, seriously. I mean, really, like WHAT THE FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU???????!!!!!! Something feels so wrong. And like I’ve said somewhere in this blog of mine, he could have sent his son, Thor to just do the job but I guess he joined Avengers and saved the universe from a more dangerous threat in the name of Thanos. That is why Japan and the rest of the world still exist! Thor and the Avengers prevented Thanos’ snap!!! Takuma and the Valkyries are just side dishes, a smaller plot that the rest of the world and even a big part of Japan don’t really care about!

Hence everything tries to point towards the fanservice factor. The fanservice here also feels somewhat like they are shoehorned in. Veteran viewers like me just find it meh. Maybe amateur viewers who just started anime may find those hot babes stimulating. You’ve got the cheesiest and lamest of excuses for Takuma to make out with the Valkyries all in the name of levelling up their AP or whatever. Hence leading to these really weird fanservice scenes. Some of them steamy enough to look like porn scenes. If only somebody had a camera recording all this… Uh huh. It really makes Takuma look like engaging in some sort of amateur porn with the Valkyries. Wow. What a fall from grace. Odin’s daughter engaging in lewd stuffs…

I also find it very strange that in order for the Valkyries to actually level up, hence that is why they engaged in this pseudo sex act. I mean, holding hands for half an hour or taking private photo shoots for an hour? You mean it is that simple?! Like of all things, why these???!!! Yup, your lousy excuse to get steamy. Fanservice logic. I know there’s some explanation on why they have to do this and especially these sleazy-like acts but I wasn’t paying close attention. I was being appalled by all the fanservice. And also trying to enjoy it. Yeah, I’m just as guilty. Whatever. Still, it really doesn’t make sense to have these kinds of acts to level up the Valkyries. I mean, if you really, really, really, think hard about it. Yeah, who the f*ck decides on these pseudo sex acts anyway???!!! And if you fail them, no levelling up. Try again. Oh, an excuse to have more fanservice scenes next time if your Valkyries stay weak. I’m just waiting for the moment that they need to engage in real penetrative sex to power up. That would have been the ultimate power boost.

Thus the characters are in a sorry state and the only reason you care about them is to wonder how Takuma will sex them up. No, seriously. I believe Takuma’s case for being a gentle giant is a classic case of not judging a book by its cover. My guts tell me that he isn’t the best guy there is in Japan even considering his kindness and all. Therefore my conspiracy theory is that Odin got lazy in just picking the guy who will power up his daughters. I mean, he came all the way from the Norse side, all the way to Japan, hmmm, lemme see which guy to pick, eenie-meenie-miney-mo, aha! You ugly kid there. You are chosen to save the world and have the honour of f*cking my daughters while doing so! Haha! Yeah, that’s how I felt it all went. In addition, Takuma’s real character is a really meek wuss who is anxious around other humans. If Odin was in a hurry to save the world, could he at least have picked somebody not having this sort of anxiety? It inhibits the love making and in turn the levelling up of his daughters delayed. It’s a sorry excuse to have those embarrassing fanservice moments. Again and again. And that’s why the Valkyries remain so weak in even trying to defeat a single demon every time. And there are 9 of them! Oh Takuma, you better count your blessings because you are one hell of a lucky bastard to have 9 Norse women to be on standby as your lover! Uh huh. What a weird case of Beauties and the Beast, if I should say.

I suppose there is something amusing in watching Takuma being berated and a punching bag by the sisters. Is this some sort of running joke? Heck, even that stupid running joke of that Yamada guy who keeps jumping out of the nearest window whenever Takuma is around, was nowhere to be seen. I understand that Takuma has some sort of trauma and it is hard for him to just change. But from what I can see, it’s not like he is improving at all. He is still the same scared wimp, having low self-confidence in fear of things not turning out right. Only in such dire straits that he is able to do something. Dire straits AKA plot convenience. Only then he is able to draw out his Misteltein. This guy is one weird case of Dr Jekyll and Hyde.

The rest of the Valkyries fare no better and my guess is that there are 9 of them so that we can have a variety in fanservice. Can’t always be making out with Natsuki, right? Because of that, we don’t really care for them either. Sure, some of them got their back story to tell but I wasn’t really interested. My mind was already shut off. Just give me the fanservice. Heh. So anyway, the sisters do have their own personalities but it’s just the minimal. Like Ichika dotes on her sisters a lot that she feels like the tsundere of the bunch when she gets strict on Takuma. After all, somebody needs to get really harsh on him when many of the sisters are just too kind. Like Futaba who is playing the big sister or rather the mother of the group. And Misa, uhm, I think another sister role but she is more tomboy. Then there’s Itsuyo who has daddy complex and possibly the other tsundere. Mutsumi, I have this feeling she is a slut because from the way she feels the passion whenever doing stuffs with Takuma, it’s like she’s going into orgasm or something. She may be the horniest of all the Valkyries but her idol status prevents her from being a total slut. And my guts tell me Natsuki another tsundere is most likely the one who will end up with Takuma.

Not all the sisters Takuma makes out with. I guess MILF materials are okay in addition to those girls who are of his same age. But it’s a no-no for underage girls. Yup, being lolicons is against the law. This is why Takuma is never seen making out with Yakumo or Kukuri. Imagine this, Takuma making out with Yakumo or Kukuri. It would be super disturbing, I guarantee. Hence, they turn Kukuri into some sort of inventor genius because she creates a lot of stuffs for the sisters. Not to say her inventions are brilliant or anything. It’s just to give a reason why her character has to exist.

Now, my ‘favourite’ character among all the sisters is Yakumo. The way she despises Takuma somewhat also mirrors same kind of sentiments that I have for this series. Unlike Ichika who is just one big tsundere, there is a chance that Yakumo’s scorn for Takuma may be valid. She might not hate him 100% but just that she isn’t too enthusiastic about the circumstances that the sisters ended up in. Yeah, if I were her, I would feel the same way. We don’t know if she’s really a good poker face player but I believe that Yakumo is the one who is being the most realistic among the sisters. She knows this guy is useless and there is nothing she herself can do about it. What else? Just sigh and mock this wuss! Add to his trauma and anxiety! Oh yeah. In fact, Yakumo could have been the best character of the series had they not put those prettier and sexier triplets as the main girls. What a waste. Yakumo should have had more screen time to spout her cynical sarcasm.

If you have been counting, you realized that one of the sisters is ‘missing’. Well, not in that literal sense. I feel that Shino’s character is such a waste as she is stuck in the storeroom recuperating from whatever. Not that I care how she got injured in the first place. But to have her recover there and wearing some weird helmet that makes her look like some discount Goblin Slayer, it’s like why the heck do we need this character for? Sure, she did something to help Futaba during her fight against Skuld (albeit remotely from the storeroom) but at that point it was too late. Like does she even matter? Probably they don’t want to waste it because as you would have guessed, the sisters’ Japanese monikers are based on numbers and their seniority. They have their original Norse name but that would be too hard for many of us to pronounce or remember ;p. So when she finally shown herself in person, oh sister, you’re a little too late, don’t you think?

Skuld as the antagonist feels like a bratty kid trying to get what she wants. She too lacks a back story and it would have been a lot more interesting to know about her Norn sisters. It would have been better if this turned into some shonen style group fight. You know, Valkyries vs Norn sisters. Something like that. It would be interesting to see their side of the story too because Skuld isn’t as bad as the plot paints her to be. In her own way, she protects Roskva as much as her maid protects her. But for now, she looks like some rich imposing oujo-sama. Yeah, notice how she has Roskva that notes of what she says? Well, we better take note too that brats like her will never ever get her way. Especially if they are on the wrong side of the plot.

The action scenes are just mediocre. Because when you have a cheesy reason to have fanservice, what follows next is some cheesy battle to fight demons. That’s why they make out, right? Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. I suppose Takuma isn’t strong enough yet to power up all Valkyries to fight together. That is why only 1 of them can fight a demon at the same time. At the most, 2 of them. Anyway the fights aren’t memorable even though each of the Valkyries has their own special weapons and moves. Heck, they have trouble fighting off 1 demon already and they’ve been freaking lucky so far that the worst has not happened. So as not to let Natsuki hog all the action screen time, hence they rotate and some of the sisters have their share of the battle limelight. But Natsuki has been out of action for so long since the school festival and my guess is so as to give the other girls to shine. Not that it makes any difference whatsoever. Oi, Takuma! Are you sleeping on the job?! Even better, the Valkyries can form some barrier to limit the damage from the demons and let the fight take place within it. Hence not interrupting the ordinary lives of ordinary people who have no idea what the f*ck is going on. Oh yeah. So considerate. So convenient.

Art and animation feel pretty standard. Valkyrie girls looking a lot like cute Japanese anime girls even when they were young kids in Asgard. Takuma obviously being drawn to be ‘ugly and scary’ but he isn’t the worst looking kind of main character around. Worse, sometimes his chibi mode feels really weird. He is just some hollow outline with somewhat appalling looks on his face. Yeah, like as though this feels like his second form as he goes into this mode quite often. Among all the Valkyrie sisters, I feel Ichika looks the most cartoonish because of her big cartoonish eyes. Isn’t that why they ‘blacken out’ her eyes in the initial episodes when she was protecting her sisters from the shadows? The Valkyries’ uniform feels so military-like that I was wondering if this is Kantai Collection or the recent Azur Lane. And the demons they look pretty hideous, befitting their demonic nature but nothing that will give you sleepless nights and nightmares. This anime is produced by Hoods Entertainment who did weird fanservice shows like Nazo No Kanojo X, Seikon No Qwaser, Aki Sora, Hantsu x Trash and Manyuu Hikenchou. Okay, not entirely ecchi series as they also produced Drifters and 3D Kanojo Real Girl.

For the voice acting, perhaps the ‘best’ one goes to Yuuya Hirose as Takuma (Yuuta in SSSS.Gridman) because he really makes his character sound like a retard and wuss. Like as though at any moment he could just die from asphyxiation. Seriously. The only recognizable seiyuu is Rina Hidaka as Mutsumi because this is what happen when Last Order is in her slutty version. Seriously. The rest of the other characters are Kaede Hondo as Natsuki (titular character in Tejina-senpai), Ai Kakuma as Itsuyo (Rossweisse in High School DxD), Yumi Hara as Futaba (Albedo in Overlord), Ayaka Shimizu as Misa (Masaki in Sasameki Koto), Yumi Uchiyama as Ichika (Momiji in Binbougami Ga), Maki Kawase as Yakumo (Junko in Zombie Land Saga), Kotori Koiwai as Kukuri (Renge in Non Non Biyori), Rikako Aida as Shino (Riko in Love Live! Sunshine), Atsumi Tanezaki as Skuld (Chise in Mahou Tsukai No Yome), Mao Ichimichi as Roskva (Bada in ClassicaLoid), Daisuke Hirakawa as Garm (Makoto in School Days) and Misato Fuken as Ullr (Yami in To Love-Ru).

The opening theme is For… by Rikako Aida. Nothing special. Generic anime pop. The ending theme is Up-date x Please. If you are wondering why there are version numbers of the song that makes it look like some programme software update, if you’re sharp enough you would realize that the numbers correspondence to the seniority of the sisters. So ver 1.7.8 is sung by the trio of Ichika, Natsuki and Yakumo, ver 2.6.9 by Futaba, Mutsumi and Kukuri, and ver 3.4.5 by Misa, Shino and Itsuyo. Other than that, the song sounds robotic. I don’t think it’s a bad piece, just that it sounds one kind.

Overall, this is a poor series and a sorry excuse to adapt one with the lamest plot in the name of fanservice. Hot chicks with no character at all, levelling up via making love with the most unwanted (forever alone kind of) bachelor in Japan… Your what-the-f*ck-is-wrong-with-this-sh*t senses will be ringing like mad. Oh well, at least this isn’t another isekai series. Reverse isekai maybe. Goddesses from Asgard coming to our world and saving it (barely). I guess no matter how bad this plot sounds, perhaps it is much better than Odin himself coming down to the world and saving it via making out with somebody! HOLY SH*T!!! Don’t want that gay sh*t plot anytime! The world’s destruction would be accelerated if we are to make out with an old Norse God. He’s no Zeus but still… And that is why it goes to show that sometimes love still isn’t the fool proof answer that can save the world. But porn maybe could. And have a higher chance!

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