I read the reason for producing Hyakka Ryouran Samurai After was to introduce a new character to the series and give her some screen time. Well, nothing wrong with that but I thought it was just an excuse not to make another season and introduce her somewhere along the way or at the start instead of condemning her debut to a couple of OVAs. Heh. That’s just my opinion after all. And of course if you know about this series, you would know better about its brand of fanservice offered and thus all the more reason why we buy the DVDs to see samurai boobs and more samurai boobs. Oh yeah, samurai boobs save Japan!

Episode 1
WOW! Samurai girls making out right at the start!!! Keiji and Kagekatsu Uesgi making love, kissing and caressing!!! Kagekatsu has Keiji’s hand put on her stomach and it starts glowing! Wait a minute. Is she going to give birth to some super samurai?! Keiji notes her great qi thanks to all the training but there is still room for improvement. Meanwhile, the tussle for Muneakira continues. They’re arguing there is a big difference being a Samurai Bride and a wife. Yeah… Big difference… Even Gisen gets into the fray although she’s more into being his mistress thingy. Kanetsugu… What the heck is she talking about changing wives every 3 months?! Before things get ugly, they’re being attacked by Kagekatsu’s power arrow. Kanetsugu recognizes her friend. Seems she respects her for being kind to her. Yeah, unlike some girls who loves to subject this retard to abuse, right? Seems Keiji is here too and to see Muneakira. This shocks everyone especially Kagekatsu. Maybe except Juubei who is more than delighted thinking she might want to be Muneakira’s bride too. Since everyone starts arguing they are the best to be his wife, Keiji proposes a match to determine who will be his wife. However it will be decided via third parties. Yup, something like a reality TV. All of them will try to act and please him as much while raking votes from online viewers. The one with the highest votes wins. Matabei and Hanzou are in a dilemma to enter or support their masters so Gisen suggests they should refrain so as not to embarrass their master. Because Juubei thinks the more the merrier, Keiji agrees to join in. This causes Kagekatsu to be jealous and she also wants in. But shortly Keiji withdraws because somebody needs to take care of the notes. Did Kagekatsu get tricked into this? Thanks to some technology, viewers will have a first person view via lens that Muneakira is wearing. What he sees, everybody sees.

And so on day 1, we see Sen ordering her servants to clean about as she acts like the dominant master. I guess some guys dig this sadistic side. Yukimura shows her great finance management skills by saving more power during hot summer by wearing swimsuits. That sure brings in the votes. But it couldn’t be more insulting to them because Juubei is just fooling around with Muneakira and she scores the most points! Kanetsugu and Kagekatsu do the naked apron gig. The latter’s clumsiness causes the ingredients that like some ambiguous liquid splash over her face and chest. And with clumsy Kanetsugu slipping and accidentally pulling down her pantsu, wow, the ratings are going up. This infuriates Sen and Yukimura. Two can play that game! So they try more lewd stuffs by getting wet or skimpier swimsuits (saves 70% more energy!). Juubei continues to fool around her usual way and gets Muneakira into a compromising position. Kanetsugu thinks she can show her the better way so she transforms into her magical girl outfit. Only 1 problem: She’s totally naked! OMG! Ratings shoot through the roof! And this was unintentional for her side. Everybody got free fanservice. Meanwhile Kagekatsu is feeling down and the one lagging behind. Keiji talks to her and hopes she would actively participate. But Kagekatsu is in a dilemma. If she wins, she will no longer be Keiji’s bride anymore. Keiji says the problem is not becoming somebody’s wife. She hints she wants to have a size of a football team for children! At least half of them if Kagekatsu can’t ‘produce’ that much.

For the next few days, the intense competition continues with all the competitors being neck to neck in ratings. The weirder the attempt, the higher the votes. I think the one getting the most kick out of this is Keiji. Look at her laughing… On the last day, things get desperate. The girls are competing to wash his back. Kagekatsu’s accident with her boobs has the rest start using their boobs on him. The ultimate one whereby Muneakira slips and has his face planted in Juubei’s crotch! Matabei and Hanzou are helpless in seeing this fight as they too want to help their masters. But Gisen tells them they must win this battle by their own terms. And the servants just relegate to taking a bath while listening to Gisen’s ‘wisdom’. Since the tug of war might tear apart Muneakira’s limbs, I guess the girls are getting serious now to beat the crap out of each other. That is when Muneakira has had it and tells them to stop. He believes this is not the right way to choose and become his bride. He has them remember when they all turned into their Samurai Bride form, their hearts were in unison. So why make this disappear now? Choosing a bride is something that requires reflection and time. The girls couldn’t be more ashamed of themselves. Keiji lauds Muneakira’s words. Hey wait. Isn’t she the one who suggested this game? Of course. All just to see Kagekatsu’s worried face. Don’t worry. She had a great time. Yeah, everybody just felt they are the biggest loser. The participants, the viewers… Scammed… The only real winners are perhaps Gisen, Matabei and Hanzou who were right in staying behind. Keiji asks Kagekatsu’s opinion on Muneakira. Truly, he is an interesting man.

Episode 2
Unheeding Nia’ word, Sen breaks into a sealed tomb and opens a sealed box. Oh no. Looks like Pandora’s Box from the way things look. Muneakira thought Gisen crept up into his bed again but surprise! It’s Sen! Oh, Gisen is on his other side. So she did creep into his bed. As usual, the morning jinx with the girls around, Muneakira rushes to the toilet to clean himself up but bumps into naked Kanetsugu and sees her entirety. The rest of the day must be tiring for Muneakira because he has to escape from Sen’s seduction attempts. While Kanetsugu is complaining in her kennel about Muneakira, suddenly Sen kisses her and turns her into her minion. Muneakira can tell something is wrong when Juubei and Gisen start wanting to do bold things with him. Looks like they are under Sen’s spell too. This is all part of Sen’s plan to force Muneakira to marry her since he is taking too long over her proposal. She transforms into the legendary wedding dress that she got from Toyotomi’s hidden treasure. Hmm… This black revealing jester outfit is the legendary wedding dress? Luckily Yukimura and Matabei are here to stop their shenanigans. They have noticed Sen acting weird lately and have been observing her. They have also done their research that she is not wearing the legendary wedding dress which is supposed to be white. This dress is supposed to be worn after the wedding ceremony. Based on records, those who wear the legendary dress will be married for sure. To counter other powers, the black version was created to please men by gathering concubines. In other words, a harem. Sen is not convinced since she did her research based from Yoshihiko’s documents. But if so, how come Muneakira is not charmed by her? Before Sen and her underlings could give him the ultimate pleasure, Yukimura’s light bomb comes in handy for their escape.

Yukimura explains about both dresses being kept in the same place to balance out each other’s power. Separating the dress would mean unbalanced power and Sen will slowly go berserk if she is left alone. The only way is to take off the dress and put it back in the seal. Sen interrogates Nia about the dress but her lips are tightly sealed. Sen does some nipple torture but why is Hanzou the one feeling ‘good’ about it? Muneakira and Yukimura barge into surprise attack and capture Sen. There is some sort of ritual to take off the dress by fondling and squeezing the boobs in certain directions 3 times? Finally, press the nipples! Did it work? When Muneakira goes to free Nia, Sen wakes up and kisses Yukimura followed by Matabei. Game over. Juubei is still her usual self as she continues to flirt and then kiss Muneakira. She transforms into her Master Samurai form. Seems she wasn’t under Sen’s spell. Was she playing along? Don’t know. She’s too airhead as always to tell. As they make a run, Nia explains that Yoshihiko sent her to stop Sen from this mess when she learnt about the treasure. Although she failed, why didn’t she fall into Sen’s spell? Yoshihiko gave her a charm to protect her against that. In order to defeat the black dress, they need the white dress’ power. To activate it, Juubei will have to wear it and kiss Muneakira. Why is he flustering? Hasn’t he done this many times? No time to think or even be hesitant (because Juubei can’t help wonder about the implications of putting on a wedding dress) since Nia is at her limit stalling Sen and co. Juubei puts on the dress. Looks magnificent. Now for the kiss. Sen tries to intercept them. Muneakira freaks out so Juubei forces kiss him. The superb power frees all the girls and a special warmth feeling as bonus. But now another battle will take place… Juubei back to her airhead self is claiming she is his official wife since she is wearing this. Not so fast! The other girls claim this dress belongs to their family’s property and start fighting over it. Don’t rip the dress apart please!

Special 1
A short special lasting 5 minutes, a first person view, through the eyes of the protagonist, although no dialogue from the him but I am guessing it is supposedly Muneakira (those manly hands) or the viewer. Kagekatsu is the featured girl as we see her waking you up and you getting naughty with her while she makes breakfast. Then you both go for a walk and you fell asleep on her lap in which by the time you wake up, you see her sleeping face. Back home, you join her in the shower (I thought this borders like porn logic since which girl would be more than happy to let you in and when you surprise her while she takes a bath). And yeah… Washing those delicious parts… And the moment you’ve been waiting for. After shower sex… And then suddenly Kagekatsu wakes up from this dream… What a letdown…

Special 2
It is Sen’s t turn but this time the view is from a video camera. Here we are at the beautiful beach but Sen tells us to stop recording the beautiful blue sea, skies and sandy beach and record her instead! Okay. And when you’re too focused on her ‘prized assets’ she tells you not to just record her all the time! Women! Make up your mind! Now it’s time to put sunscreen. Man, I think you’re good in filming with one hand while putting lotion on her back with the other. Can’t help resist poking her? Now it’s her turn to do the same. With her boobs. Damn. Why did the recording stop! Hands can’t be still? Anyway the filming continues as we see Sen in various beach activities. But during the watermelon breaking one, she accidentally smashes your head! Thank goodness the camera is still okay! Finally as she basks in the sunset glow, you have the cheek to record up close her boobs and fondle them! Then I guess she has really had it. Drop the camera and screw with her! Oh yeah! Sorry, folks. No footage for this one :).

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride Specials

Prior to Samurai After, there were short specials lasting around 3 minutes for Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride if you get your hands on the DVD releases. What else? Fanservce! Even samurai girls need to take a break from their rigorous training and missions to relax and let their boobs out. Oops, I mean let their hair down. But really… They let their boobs out literally.

Special 1
Sasuke and Musashi are about to enter the public bath. Only one problem: No pets allowed! Juubei has got this ‘brilliant’ idea and turns Sasuke into her human form. Yay! Next problem: No money! I suppose Musashi has to pay for them otherwise we won’t have our fanservice fix of seeing their tits, rubbing, molesting and even licking them! I think it got too intense to Sasuke reverts back to a monkey. A staff heard an animal sound and comes in to check. What is this monkey fooling around in the bath? Erm… That’s not a monkey. That’s a towel! Gee, ‘brilliant’ cover there, ladies. And to prove it, she uses Sasuke to scrub Musashi’s back. Monkey abuse!

Special 2
Kojirou believes this maid outfit is the one corrupting her beloved Musashi. She puts it on and tries to act one to see for herself. Gisen catches her in the act and despite how embarrassed Kojirou is, Gisen is going to teach her the finer points of being a maid so she can snag the heart of that special someone. First, she rips the chest area and the skirt to make those delicious parts more exposed. Then she teachers her how to pose in very sexy poses and greetings. Is she teaching her how to do maid porn? Later when Matabei realizes that one of the maid outfits is missing and from her smell realizes the missing outfit belongs to Kanetsugu, Gisen lies that it could have been blown away by the wind. In actual fact, Kojirou has taken it back with her, fantasizing Musashi will be all hers…

Special 3
Mataemon is trying different swimsuit outfits and the more she tries, the more risqué and super sexy it becomes. And she loves it! Then she hears Sen is also trying out in the next cubicle. Can’t believe that she has chosen a boring outfit, she forces it off her and force dresses a sexy one on her. Wow. This looks good on her. Your unique charm is really shining. Kanetsugu in the next cubicle heard this and also wants her opinion. As usual, Mataemon is appalled at this boring fashion sense and proceeds to strip and dress another sexy swimsuit for her. Flawless victory! But it cannot be more insulting for Mataemon as the ladies leave satisfied after their purchase thinking how this store clerk looks so much like Mataemon.

Special 4
One of the most taboo things for Yukimura: Talking about her small boobs! But Keiji asks her if she is really content with them right now. Of course not. Don’t worry. She has a method that will help increase it up to D-cup in no time by using qi. I suppose Yukimura must be desperate enough to follow the silly rules of pinching her nipples and then rotate her hips both ways (so as to evenly grow both sides) round and round. So this method is supposed to bring out your female hormones and accelerate your boob growth? Well, do it a few more times and she’ll get that bust she has always wanted. It seems Inshun is also eavesdropping on them and trying out this embarrassing method. Once done and Yukimura leaves, Keiji tells Inshun to stop following it because it was just a trick! Yeah, she had her fill of making fun of small tits for today.

Special 5
Nia sounds tired as she comes home, completed her secret report. There are hidden videos she has recorded of Matabei and Hanzou doing intensive training. Nia is not sure what the points of these training are for but tries them out and thus that weary and unfortunate soul you see her now. Whether it is sitting on an exercise ball, soaking for a long time in hot water or standing under the waterfall to detect and avoid falling logs, she is not sure if these training methods are somewhat related to them transforming into Master Samurai. Then she receives mail about her credit card that she lost a little while ago. It is the bill. Why do all the charges come from the maid cafe???!!! OMG! Musashi and co you sneaky charges!!! Wow. You can say Nia is completely drained out physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially!

Special 6
Juubei and Musashi are soaking together in the hot bath. The rest of their group are sleeping because it was indeed a fun filled day for them playing at the beach. They reminisce at all the fun things they did together from building sand castles to beach volleyball to eating shaved ice cream and sunbathing. Coincidentally they also checked into the same inn and took a bath at the same time. Yeah, fun and crazy indeed. Juubei hopes everyone should come back here again.

Samurai Bachelor & Samurai Harem
Well… To be honest, it was rather okay. Just like any other OVA that does not contribute to the main plot of the series. If you remember them, that is. But personally the funny thing is I thought Kagekatsu would be appearing for both OVAs and instead only appeared for the first one. Doesn’t it feel wasted? Because the second seems to be focused on Sen like as though Sen fans have written a complaint about their favourite samurai girl not getting her due screen time but eventually it has to be Juubei who steals the limelight, eh? And so having Kagekatsu appear for just an episode like I said feels wasted because although she isn’t interested in Muneakira (for now) why bother getting her mixed up in the cat fight over him? If Sasuke’s role was just pathetic in the second season, then in the OVAs she is even more so and reduced to only appearing as a mascot during scene changers. At least better than Musashi and co who are non-existent, which make the OVAs feel like all this happened before them. But if Keiji is around then they should be. Or could it be after, like the second title suggests?

Seeing the other recurring characters does bring back the nostalgia for the series in me. Like Juubei’s airhead and completely in a world of her own, Sen and Yukimura continue to butt heads and lead the harem cat fight over the main man, Kanetsugu continues to be the resident idiot and bully victim of the pack (you always need somebody to be a punching bag and to be treated like a pet dog), Matabei still looking dangerous as she is still wearing a skimpy loincloth as her underwear, Hanzou still having that masochist fantasies for her master, Gisen being deceptively playful and sly although it is still hard to read her intentions if she is really gunning for Muneakira or if there is an ulterior motive underneath it, Nia the very loyalist to Yoshihiko and Keiji love screwing around with others and have fun watching their reactions. Well, I suppose it is the right thing for Muneakira to bring some sense to the samurai girls about their desperation to pick one of them to be his wife (and the rest his concubines) because it is true to what he said. Outwitting each other to be his wife isn’t a competition. Nor is it for the amusement for others to watch. Being his wife means responsibility and respecting the sacredness of marriage. And now that he has ‘delayed’ choosing his bride, looks like the harem cat fight will continue… Yeah, the very basic cliché problem of every undecided harem shows. I think it is worth the run for a few seasons material of reality TV…

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