Ishuzoku Reviewers

May 24, 2020

SEX!

Got your attention there, didn’t I? Ah yes. Nothing grabs attention and turn heads like sex does. Feeling horny but don’t want to cross the line by watching real porn? Then how about watching an anime that reviews about sex? Wait. What?! Is there such a thing?! As you would have guessed from the name, Ishuzoku Reviewers although is basically a prostitution reviewing anime, it is no sex with the same homo sapiens that we are talking about. Uh huh. Have you ever wanted to know what it is like having to f*ck a monster girl? Or what is like to have sex with a werewolf? Don’t worry, you horny perverts. There are a few brave men out there who are willing to go the distance and f*ck all those different species. After all that is climaxed and done, they’ll give and write their honest opinions and reviews of the intercourse that has taken place. So that we can make a better judgment for ourselves if we really want to go f*ck and get the best pleasure out of this certain species. Oh yeah. Think with your other head! Get ready those pens and notes, here cums the sexy evaluations!

Episode 1
With a city like a melting with so many species, there is bound to be a red light district. Stunk (human) just f*cked an elf and loves it. However his partner, Zel (elf) doesn’t really quite like it because that elf babe is over 500 years old! So what?! She still looks hot! But Zel loves this 50 year old grandma human, Mitsue. So anybody below 100 years old is his taste? So both argue about their weird tastes in women and to settle this, they ask Kanchal (hafling) and Brooz (beastman) to also give their opinions as they frequent the brothels too. Basically, only Stunk is the one who reviewed the elf babe with high marks. One day while out adventuring, they save an angel from a monster. The angel, Crim has a request to help be her bodyguard until her halo heals up so she can return to heaven. Sure. But in return they want to know if there are brothels in heaven! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! F*ck shops in heaven???!!! Stunk and Zel’s life mission is to f*ck every species there is!!! Oh yeah. I guess some of us can only dream of this. But wait. Crim is actually a boy???!!! In actual fact he has both male and female genitals. He can’t say for who knows what they’ll do to him. And because they find out Crim is a virgin, they take him to a brothel to celebrate! OMFG! Angel boy got defiled by a cat girl!!! OMG!!! Is he now considered a fallen angel?! In the bar where Stunk and Zel frequent (and now Crim works at), they post sex reviews too. There is one review from Kanchal whereby he didn’t like the sex with this octopus girl. Yup, he got more than just tentacle raped. Meidri the barmaid isn’t too amused that Stunk and Zel are earning big money just by posting such reviews. Stunk this he can ‘review’ her but gets beaten up. For a fortnight, the trio are gone just to review some harpy babe. When they come back, they have very high ratings for her. Best sex ever! Maybe except Narugami who is a Lamia. I guess birds and snakes don’t mix. Meidri isn’t all too amused at all because she is a harpy. What does this say about her? Stunk tries to get cheeky on her but she slams the barstool on him.

Episode 2
We’re discussing if dick size matters. Then thinking on which species to f*ck next, they notice the next table are tiny fairies. Heh. Heading to the fairy brothel, it’s not what they expect. Yeah, the fairy boss looks more like some gangster. They have to pay upfront a very expensive fee first before having their dicks measured. Hey, fairies are small you know. Stunk who has the biggest dick, unfortunately not all fairies can handle it and only 2 of them. Fat ugly fairy b*tches?! I guess in this case, size isn’t all that matters. Zel’s moderate size has him choose from half the field while Kanchal can get any fairies. Unfortunately, no fairies can handle Crim. OMG. In the end, all put up satisfying reviews except for Crim who felt scammed. This makes everybody wonder how big this angel boy’s junk is! Oh sh*t. With the elections around the corner, currently the Orc Party is the ruling party as it offers the right balance of eat, sleep and fornicate. Stunk and Zel might want to vote for the Succubus Party since all their agenda is f*ck, f*ck and f*ck! After a speech by the Demon Party, Stunk and co are approached by Demon Two (Piccolo?!), the PR for the Demon Party. Because demons are voted as the second most least marriageable species (the undead tops the list), he has read their reviews and noticed that because of that, some species’ popularity has skyrocketed. He hopes their review can also pull up the image of demons. But Demon Two can’t do it himself since this will be seen as election violation of granting favours. So he gives them a name card to a demon’s brothel and hopes they will vote for the Demon Party. So our Ishuzoku Reviewers head to this brothel with a lot of scepticism in mind (except for Crim who naturally wants to stay out). But once they see those huge tits that can only exist in hentai, you bet they’re in. Hence they write decent reviews. So they’re mostly cow girls squirting lots of milk when excited? Stunk and Zel discuss about how the gravity of such huge tits make them gravitate to it. Stunk tries to be funny with Meidri’s tits so she uses the gravity to slam her tray on his head. Science wins. Planet gravity > tits gravity.

Episode 3
Gender swap! After hearing about empathy, our guys decide to test out what it’s like to be a woman. Drinking a gender swap potion, their dicks disappear and their tits enlarge. You bet they’re going to spend some time playing with themselves and exploring their new body parts. As they have to wait till they return to their original self, they think of doing some lesbian stuffs. It is also a way to get a girl to teach them plenty of ways of womanhood. As they look through the catalogue, Crim seems to be ‘interested’ with the male one. You mean this male succubus thingy? The rest explain some gay stuff to him but whatever. Rainbow boys? End boys? Rain-end-boys? Huh? In the end, they suspect Crim might be into that sort of stuff… Each of them pick a girl to get lesbian with. Stunk of course picks a hot elf girl but the rest aren’t so pleased. She’s over 300 years old, you know… But the foreplay is giving him weird sensations that he didn’t like. Meh reviews. Kanchal goes for the same hafling species thinking the same species would know the ropes. Unfortunately, she is a dominatrix and using some sex toy to penetrate him. Ouch. Not a good review. Zel goes for a slime girl. Supposedly to be the easiest for first timers and can reach deep. Yup, the best time of his life. High scores. Finally, Crim went with a hyena girl. Supposedly the toughest and only reserved for more experienced patrons, this makes the rest wonder if Crim picked her because hyena types are said to have the biggest dick. In the end, Crim felt so good that she gave almost perfect scores. This only reinforces the others’ thought that he might be into gay stuffs!

Episode 4
OMFG! Too much sex has killed Stunk, Zel and Brooz! A week later… Everybody is talking about their legendary heroics. Even Meidri feels sad… The end of Ishuzoku Reviewers!!! Just kidding. We go back in time to find out what happened. The gang stumbled upon a very cheap succubus prostitution shop. Thinking it is a scam, what better way to go try it out themselves. Of course their cheap price comes from their bad attitude and they’re all really nymphos just wanting to f*ck! After being told that they must see it through and no help will be given halfway, our brave men step into the den and get ready for some f*cking. Let’s do this… Of course as expected, we see all the succubus swarm over them and they could be dead had not a huge group of orcs arrive for some revenge f*cking. Yeah, you’re supposed to do this in a large group. Hence the succubus throw them those losers out and go for those pigs. Safe to say, their review of it all is definitely no good. It took 3 weeks for them to recover. Rest up. One day, Crim accompanies Stunk and Zel to mine some fire gems. After that, they go eat some meat. Of course there is a catch. They grill their meat using the body of a salamander succubus. Is this what you call sexy meat? Yeah, time for lots of dirty sexual innuendoes as the guys barbeque their meet in certain places and making her look so erotic. But she wants to continue and take it to the other room. If you know what she means! She’ll even give them half price! Don’t leave her hanging! Of course the guys don’t want to get burnt to death. However it seems only Crim can withstand her heat and so they make out. In the end, Crim has a wonderful experience and gives the maximum score. So she tastes like BBQ all over?

Episode 5
Meidri is approached by a hooded person to hand over a request to Stunk and co. It seems the request is to go f*ck cyclop girls and there is already payment made in advance. Alright. Time to go get some f*cking done. Meidri doesn’t want Crim to force himself if he doesn’t want to go but that angel boy has become part of the horny gang so he gives an excuse that he needs a break. The bar patrons applaud?! At the cyclops’ den, the guys want the biggest bust and the receptionist of course has a selection of wide ranges. Wow. I didn’t know there is a K-cup but after seeing this series, Z-cup and beyond could be even possible. So while our guys can’t wait to f*ck those with big tits, they realize that when the receptionist said big, he meant their eyes. Oh damn. So freaky… Yeah, Kanchal got the one with the biggest eyes. Freaky, dude… Stunk and Zel hope for normal sized ones and they’re in luck. These cyclop girls actually have normal sized eyes but they also have the biggest boobs! Just because of their small eyes, their self-confidence takes a hit. In the end, all review high marks except for Kanchal who just rated it below average. Yeah, can’t get over those freakishly huge eyes… After putting up the review, they wonder who the employer was. Turns out to be a cyclop girl who has small eyes. Because of their truthful reviews, she has now gotten the courage to confess to a human she loves. I don’t know if f*cking too much means the guys now want to f*ck men?! So why are they talking about wanting to ‘eat’ mushrooms?! Oh, you mean f*ck a mushroom or fungi woman. Having a fairy, Lulou to guide them deep into the forest, the receptionist is an experienced one. Aside from the sex puns, she can gauge and tell the kind of woman they prefer and prepare the right mushroom girl for them to f*ck. However when it comes to Crim, she is stumped because she cannot determine angels’ preferences. Anyway, she manages to provide one that is right for him. In the end, all rate highly their experience. Best mushroom experience ever without even going into any sort of hallucination effect!

Episode 6
Wow. They’ve been f*cking everything and now they’re thinking on what to f*ck next?! Meidri suggests f*cking the next species that comes in. Of course this is a joke but the guys take it seriously. And the next species? A golem! Yeah, they’re going to a golem brothel. Is that even a thing? They’re not really too enthusiastic about it until the receptionist tells them they can actually make their own girl. So basically, build-a-slut, huh? Yup, they’ve got everything you need. Though you can use one that a previous client made for a cheaper price, it defeats the purpose of coming here to make your dream slut. Kanchal has this great idea as he makes a golem version of Meidri. Stunk and Zel also want one and Crim after thinking about it, also wants one. In the end, all of them rate very high and Kanchal giving the maximum score. But when Meidri finds out… Oh boy, the bar is closed for a beat down of those perverts! Keep those combos coming, lady! Hope they learnt their lesson… With denizens of darkness at the bar, it is sucking the vitality out of Crim. Hence his pals suggest taking him to somewhere with light on his next day off. And that of course means a brothel. So they are going to f*ck light creatures? WTF are light creatures?! Oh. Will o’ wisps. So I see the light conveniently covers their erotic parts. No matter what angle you look, you can’t see them. Oh my, Crim’s dick is one huge pillar of light!!!!! In the end, they review it with just average score. Because sex takes place in the public hall as customers can go in and out freely, making all the sexual activity public. Something about if done in the room, it’ll be too bright to see anything. Only Crim rates it as zero! Because he was so embarrassed the whole time and his angel eyes could see everything clearly. So unless you’re an exhibitionist and into orgies, this niche f*cking is your cup of tea!

Episode 7
Something is wrong with Meidri as she excuses herself. Stunk and Zel believe it is that time. Time for her to lay an egg! They are curious to see how it is done but the last time she beat them up. Don’t worry. There is an egg laying show for all you perverts who love to see girls laying their eggs! Not kidding! It does exist! So they head there and wait for those ladies to answer the call of nature. It seems a lot of Lamia and mermen are interested in this since they get to eat the egg after it is laid. Also, chefs and gourmets are willing to pay a high price for the egg just to cook and eat it. So the first female is up… A lizard woman? Ugh. While everybody else cheers, Stunk, Zel and Crim are cringing at this disgust. Even more so when the next one is a crocodile lady. They want to leave but it seems the next girl is of a penguin species. A bit cuter but still that doesn’t discount the fact that laying eggs now look like something gross. In the end, the trio rate the show with low scores. You mean it’s not zero? Only Narugami rates highly because he loves eating those eggs. Meidri also popped a few herself but is quite disgusted that those guys went to such a show. And as you could expect, she beats them up when they tease her now they know how it is done! But these guys didn’t learn their lesson as they feel hungry and want to go make omelettes from Meidri’s eggs. WTF is wrong with you guys?! Meidri beat down part 2! Wow. No sex this episode but it was surely a weird ‘eye opening’ fetish.

Episode 8
Oh sh*t. WTF is this girl raping scene by the KKK???!!! Turns out that this entire place is some roleplaying fantasy brothel where the babes act out to their roles given. Some of them are good and some of them aren’t. So if you’re like Kanchal who demands perfection all the way in the act, he’s going to be a tough customer. I guess it is no more an act when the girls see Crim’s ‘tower to heaven’! Yeah, they want to get raped by that! In the end, they rate averagely high scores for this idea. Stunk, Zel and Brooz contemplate on a mission that will have them be away for a week but the reward pays very high. Of course they’re going to do it but they have to make ‘preparations’ for such a long journey. Yup. A trip to the brothel. This time a real succubus brothel. The succubi here are able to provide you with all your whims and fancies down to the smallest detail. Then we get to see Crim take the ‘spotlight’. Turning Crim into an angel mayonnaise bottle, we see the succubus playing, licking and sucking it real dry. Must be delicious. In the end, our horny f*ckers rate the succubus sex with high marks. If they always provide the best service then why don’t they come here often? You see, despite being able to provide everything, the succubi will drain your life force and pleasure will start to become strain. Then it will take about a week before you get your usual libido back. No f*cking for a week, huh? I guess they can really concentrate on the mission then.

Episode 9
Hmm… No sex reviews for a week, huh? Yeah, Stunk and co have gone on that faraway special mission. It’s getting too quiet at the bar… So we see the special quest that they are doing is just delivering a casket for this vampire dude, Count Delivel. His castle is so far out so as he could sleep longer. So to thank them for their work, he takes them to the nearest brothel. I guess nobody visits this one not only it is so far away but because they’re all undead! So they’re f*cking zombies this time, huh? So while our Ishuzoku Reviewers give just average score because of the rotting stench during sex (the undead is one of the most unpopular species to f*ck with), only Delivel gives high marks because he f*cked his loyal vampire mistress. Crim has gotten into this f*cking groove too because despite not being on this mission, he went to a brothel himself. This time some slime lotion brothel. I don’t know. Some witch putting magic slime lotion on you and you get orgasm from the tentacle slime rape? Well, Crim rates it very highly so it must be good if you can make an angel feel like that. Thanks to all their f*cking reviews, there a spawns of copycats. Stunk and Zel don’t like their idea being copied but do they have grounds to sue? But they still enjoy reading those reviews. One of them includes a female director who was reviewing and filming lesbian porn. Yeah, I think she climaxed too while filming the juicy yuri shoot. Then they read a review that has a brothel ranked the full perfect score by the reviewers. Unfortunately it is located in the faraway magic city. Don’t worry. Kanchal has prepared their ride there and with their extra money from Delivel’s mission, I’m sure they don’t want to miss this one out. They invite Crim to come along and you can see his eyes lit up. He’s so happy to join them. Meanwhile Meidri realizes she lost a pair of helping hands at the bar. F*ck those perverts!!!

Episode 10
Arriving at the magic city, after paying a hefty upfront fee, it seems everyone gets to do whatever they want with this decoy doll which is a very perfect clone of a mage named Demia, for 3 days. Of course that means only behind closed doors because there was a time when everyone started f*cking her in public, yeah the sight wasn’t pleasant and thus open space f*cking was banned. We see a very shy Crim being serviced real good by the doll. Great bath time moments. Then there is Stunk having a really good time with his but cannot decide whether to give it perfect marks or not. Next morning, she even cooks breakfast for him but he prefers to eat her out, if you know what I mean! So we also see the rest enjoying theirs according to their fetish. Crim relates how she is waiting for his halo to regenerate before he can return to heaven. No need to wait so long. Because she will take him there now!!! We see Demia gladly having angel juice. I guess semen is only for humans… Anyway, she is using it to test it on various elements and hopes she can make a killing out of this research. Though, she would love to get her hands on his halo but luckily it is against company policy to take something from the customers. After 3 days, the dolls say their goodbye and disappear. Our reviewers feel sad to part with them. Yeah, it was definitely a good time to the last drop. Hence all of them give the maximum perfect score! In addition to that, they have the Centaur ladies deliver their reviews to every nook and corner of the land! Wow. Everybody now wants to come here and f*ck! This place is really heaven on earth! Only except Meidri. She’s working like mad nonstop at the bar and it’s hell for her.

Episode 11
By the time our reviewers come back, Meidri is relieved because there is this hot looking succubus guy who has business with them. So apparently he went to all those places that they rated lowly and f*cked those girls again! He thinks they don’t understand women and that is why he filled them with his passion and pleased them all! He gave maximum points to all of them! Of course our reviewers are just giving sarcastic remarks for his reviews. And then suddenly, his girlfriend stabs him in the heart! She accuses of running of with her money to ‘chase his dreams’ and blew all on the prostitutes. The rest restrain her so succubus guy talks some sweet words to make her realize she still loves him. Heh. Women. In the end, they are taken away and they know the succubus guy is going to live because he has a heart near his crotch area. Yeah, stab this one and he’ll die! Later, it seems doesn’t want to visit more prostitutes since he is short on cash. Yeah, Meidri cutting his pay ever since visiting the magic city. Although Stunk pays him in advance for the reviews, Crim still won’t go because visiting such joints still costs a lot. They suggest he take up quests and Crim still insists. Meidri had to put those guys in place and ignore their pervy calls just to get Crim back to work. Then Kanchal comes in. He is loaded with gold. He got it from the guild. Remember those reviewers trying to copy their work? Instead of trying to stop them and make no profit out of it, why not have them pay their share to them and the guild if they want to continue doing this. Yup, those reviewers are going to be their financial investors! Now they have the cash, they bug Crim to go prostitution reviewing but of course Meidri won’t allow them till he finishes his job. By the time he does, they’re already drunk and wasted. But that still didn’t stop them from getting their sex tonight. This time they visit some leprechauns. Thing is, they drink until they pass out only to have sex. I wonder how they can write reviews but they did. Not sure what kind of scores they give but it sure showed they were drunk. Only Crim didn’t get drunk and gave a moderate score. Then they realize they also hit other joints and f*cked. Can’t remember those! Worse, they spent all their money and their reviews are sh*t! Oh no. Time to go make some money. And hence they go adventuring so much that they actually saved the world from a certain impending doom! WTF?! WAS THE WORLD EVER IN DANGER WITH SO MUCH F*CKING AT EVERY CORNER????!!!!

Episode 12
Stunk and Zel review their mementos. Yup. Name cards from all the brothels they have visited. It’s like their badge of honour, f*ck version. Seeing one reminds them of the demon brothel that they never got to visit. They want to call for Crim but he is busy away waiting for some old tree to finish grinding the herbs. Waiting and waiting… I guess angels don’t do well with demons so it’s off to the demon brothels then. The moment they flash this name card, instantly they are given the VIP treatment. After the sex, they are explained why demons view contracts very important hence it is essential that you word them properly or it will turn out differently than you think. Hence our reviewers now understand why they were roped in to help in the review because it is to help give a better perception of demons. And who else better than them Ishuzoku Reviewers who give credible reviews. In the end, our reviewers rate demon sex highly. With these reviews out, Demon Two reads them to her boss who is not pleased that it came too late because the election is over and she lost! But considering the public views have shifted, she may use this to help in her next election. Demia then visits her as they talk about the airplane thingy from another world she saw to be created. It makes transportation easier. Sure. How about funding? Well… When we win the next elections. But upon realizing the other world has no magic whatsoever, she isn’t so eager to trade magic for airplanes now. Meanwhile Crim is still waiting… Is this the face of an angel who waited patiently or the face of one who has not have sex for a week?!

Everyone prays to usher the New Year. As Crim is unfamiliar with this custom, she asks Zel and is told about it. Of course Crim doesn’t think God listens to their prayers because if He does, he would have gone back to heaven! Zel tells him to be careful because that kind of statement will destroy the religion state of this world! Oh sh*t! Taking their minds of this, Stunk talks about f*cking their best f*ck last year so that they will have another good year of f*cking. However, magic city is very far and costly. Okay. Next best f*ck. Stunk goes with some elf girl, Zel with Mitsue, Kanchal the golem sex dolls, Brooz some furry beast and Crim prefers that hyena woman. Better not even think about Meidri because she won’t hesitate to really kill you this time! As they go to get their first f*ck of the year, too bad they are all full! Then the fairy receptionist comes by to thank them because of their reviews, their place is now full and only for reservation. But the reviewers didn’t give them high scores. That’s because there are many who aren’t confident with their junk. Besides, many don’t care about the scores. Just the honest reviews. She then gives them a special place to go that will surely satisfy them. If not, she’ll give them a freebie. Well, it doesn’t make them happy since she’s quite an old hag… So in this place she recommends, all their favourite girls are here. They think they aren’t real and just shape shifting off their memories. But who cares, right? As long as they enjoy their f*ck! And so they enjoy it that they give it almost perfect scores. Here’s to another year of great f*cking. On another day, Stunk and Zel got another great idea for review. Why not do a harem? Yeah. Sex is going to get more intense this year.

The Sex Files: The F*cking Sexperts!
Have penis, will f*ck. Ah, that’s the simple motto that these perverts sex reviewers have. It is also safe to say that the f*ck not for procreation but for recreation. Now that they are going to take their reviews to the next level, it is only a matter of time they may get bored and do some homo stuff! Oh sh*t! I don’t think I want to read those kind of reviews! With so much f*cking to cover, I wonder if they will give us another season? Well… What controversy are we talking about?! Well… Yeah…

This series was too controversial and raunchy that there was this initial hullabaloo surrounding it. The infamous Funimation who streamed the series and after 3 episodes in, they decided to cancel it because they found out it wasn’t part of their standards. Really? After 3 episodes? They didn’t know what they were streaming? Of course they were being thrown brickbats and everything, mocked and ridiculed for their whatever double standards or no standards at all. And when you try to ban something, people want it more. For that current time, this series was already quite popular with viewers and to do something like this (all because one single idiot didn’t like it and complained, causing the ‘righteous’ company to bend its knee) and taking it down from its streaming site was just an insult and a big rip-off. Eventually, other sites streaming it also followed suit. So are we perverts doomed not getting our weekly sex reviews?! Not quite.

Luckily for us, the saviour in the name of AnimeLab decided to carry on so that we can get our weekly fix. And with that, this scandal is soon blown over and quickly forgotten. Nobody is really complaining now at this point, right? Now we fans are happy and at least somebody is making a decent penny from this. I guess it’s true that when you decide to become woke, you get broke. What a joke! Hope you learn your lesson that you can never defeat porn no matter what measures you take!!! As long as there is great demand for it out there, it will surely exist.

Though fanservice and sex galore there are aplenty throughout this series, but honestly in my personal opinion, I didn’t really get stimulated or hard on in all of those scenes. Simply because I’m not a big fan of watching sex or porn of other species! That’s racist! But seriously. Even watching the female monsters having a good time and orgasm makes me feel all weird inside. I mean, really. Think about it. Do you really want to f*ck an octopus girl? I mean, really?! DO YOU?! You have got to be some sort of an ultimate sex maniac to do it with all sorts of creatures. So like our reviewers. As long as their dicks are functioning and the other party has a vagina, it’s all green light and good to go f*ck. Otherwise, my personal view is that watching those sex scenes are just cringe, just to put it in the mildest way that I can say it.

Sure, there are other hot non-human chicks out there that resembles closely to humans such as the elves. But I’m still not totally turned on. One reason in particular is because of the art style. You see, the overall feel of the anime has this cartoonish outlook. Even so, the ‘worse’ part is that many of the female prostitutes are somewhat flabby. I don’t think the word fat is accurate to describe them but I think they’re more of flabby. Even the slim ones seem to have this sort of look. Yeah. I’m so high standards that I prefer slim chicks. So sue me! With the art and animation one kind as well as the plump and chubby looks of the female characters, I hardly ever thought of even fapping at all! Though the art style generally reminds me of another anime series, Hen Zemi, this series isn’t produced by Xebec but rather Passione (Joshikousei No Mudazukai, Citrus and High School DxD Hero).

Seeing that this series relies a lot on such sex scenes for the reviews, as expected, there is the censored version and the glorious uncensored one. I watched the former because my imagination is superior! Also, as I did mention in my previous paragraph, the weird art style was somewhat a turn off so I don’t want to give myself ‘nightmares’ watching the uncensored version. Yeah, I’m so high standards in my beauty taste. Anyway, the censored version in a way may be annoying because censors prop out to cover the necessary parts but sometimes they are big enough to cover almost the entire screen. This is evident when there are multiple naked babes on screen and the blocking of the censors just can’t make you see anything. Perhaps this is a subtle way to go tell the viewers to watch the uncensored version if you don’t want to see such annoyance. Yeah well, my imagination is still superior! You can’t beat that, haha! But certain scenes are too raunchy to be shown and hence the entire screen is blank while the words of advising us to use our imaginations to imagine such scene will be displayed on the screen. Yeah. I guess we still can’t cross the line over to porn. See, what did I tell you of having superior imagination! Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting hentai. If you still can take more, at the end of each episode, a short segment hosted by Mitsue or some dirty old professor (can I call him the Nutty Professor?) to ‘enlighten’ you on some sex techniques or just purely dirty jokes.

I noticed that there are also quite a few sex puns in the conversation. However this is only because of the English subtitle translation that I noticed. Though my Japanese vocabulary isn’t all that good, I can still pick up a few words and their conversation is mostly normal. If not, just slightly raunchy for some puns. But the English subtitles really ramped it up with their creativity with some of the lines really turned into sex puns and sexual innuendoes. You either laugh or cringe. I’m mostly the former, if you want to know. It is befitting if you think about it because lacking all those f*ck words in English considering the kind of show this is, is just unreal. I even wonder if the names of our f*ckers are derived from sex puns. Stunk = junk. Zel = gel. Kanchal = cunt. Brooz = Boobs. Crim = creampie…

Basically there is no character development at all! Hey, this show is about f*cking, why the f*ck do you care about who is getting f*cked or the one f*cking anyway???!!! So essentially, Stunk and Zel as the main characters and the backbone of the Ishuzoku Reviewers, you can call them brave or just sick perverts. They f*ck and review first so that you don’t have to go in and then later regret your actions. While their reviews are ‘helpful’, please bear in mind that this is only based on their personality and preferences. For example, Zel who is an elf is very much age conscious. So he will not f*ck anything that is over 100 years old because apparently it’s like doing in his mom and grandma. But for Stunk, as long as you look like a hot sexy babe, his penis is always ready for action. Although many of their reviews are not very contrasting, it ultimately still boils down to their preferences. So you have to read their reviews with caution and a pinch of salt before you make your judgment. What they say is good may not be good for you. If I should say, what are you sex-pectations? Haha! After all, this is somewhat very similar to movie critics and the mass audience.

And Crim… Can he be considered as a fallen angel now? Yeah, this angel is corrupted by the desires of the flesh now. By the time his halo regenerates and he is allowed to return to heaven, heck, will he be even allowed back beyond the Pearly Gates?! Crim might not be as perverted as Stunk and Zel and he is still very much a shy person when he does his reviews. Does this still make him an angel? Well, until God says so. Which brings the question of heaven into context. With so many brothels and f*cking around, you wonder if anybody in this land would be going to heaven. Perhaps the heaven here isn’t the same definition in what Christians’ heaven would be. So it would really be interesting to see if Crim can really go back to heaven at all. But even in the case he couldn’t, he could continue to stick around and f*ck more prostitutes! Oh yeah. I think he’ll choose the latter. After all, he has got the biggest dick in the mortal land! Those girls are lucky they could f*ck an angel! And don’t despair all of those going to hell. I bet there are brothels there too! Now you can actually f*ck demons instead of eternal suffering! This is so messed up.

With so many types of species and monsters in this world, it just goes to show that sex is everything. It is like an extreme rule of Rule 34. As long as a species exist, there is a possibility to just f*ck them. Hence across the land, there are brothels here, there and everywhere. Every nook and corner of the kingdom. Like as though the entire kingdom itself is a red light district. Maybe it is just superficial as we are not shown the other areas of the kingdom so we assume that everywhere is a f*ck shop. Heh. I don’t think we would even care if there is a pasty chop in the land. We just want to know if there is a prostitution service for this certain kind of species! So every mythical creature you can imagine exists right here to fulfil you carnal desires. Want to f*ck a Cyclops girl? You got it. Hyena woman? Never thought those existed but they do. Slime girls? Your ultimate fantasies come true! Fairy girls? No dick too small to handle! Zombies? Not even death can f*ck us part! Absolutely proves that sex is the universal tune that everyone can agree on. So I bet that even when you die, heaven or hell will even have brothels at your service! I wonder what are the terms and conditions to f*ck with God!!!!!!!!!!! I know I won’t be able to handle Him but if that possibility exists, you bet there are bold ones who wouldn’t even think twice to try!

I suppose to keep the variety of the reviews, the fourth member of Ishuzoku Reviewers is usually one of the minor guys. Be it Kanchal or Brooz and some appearing only once or twice like Narugami or Delivel. It would be boring to just here from the same guys all the time, right? So when is Meidri going to get done in by those guys? Haha! If that ever happens, it will only be on the deepest and darkest porn of the web. So Meidri being the most mature of the pack because she puts up with all the perverted talk those usual reviewers do but she won’t stop them from doing it because it’s none of her business. Also, they patron her bar and bring in a lot of business thanks to their reviews so I guess it’s not all that bad. So really, when will the do a review on Meidri?! Perhaps Queen Meidri doing BDSM seems to likeliest…

The opening theme, Ikouze Paradise by the trio of Stunk, Zel and Crim… Wow, it sounds so much like Village People’s YMCA! Or at least, In The Navy or Go West. I guess these are their better hits than Sex Over The Phone. But anyway, the tune is catchy enough and filled with lots of sexual innuendoes to make you want to sing and dance along. Though, not necessarily getting your libido up or bust a nut because in my case, you already know why. Young man, there’s no need to feel down/ I said young man, just take a look around/ I said young man, pick the best girl in town/ There’s no need to be unhappy! The same trio sing the main ending theme, Hanabira Ondo which sounds like a traditional festival song but infused with more sex innuendoes into its lyrics. Then they ramp up the sexiness with disco, rap and hip hop fusion. Sexy weird?

Overall, this anime is definitely unique and making the conversation for all the right and wrong reasons. If you don’t like sex in your entertainment, definitely you’re going to scream your head till it explode and it’ll be so before you even finish the first episode. Otherwise, this ecchi masterpiece is just for pure entertainment and enlightenment on what it’s like to have sex with everything else that moves under the sun. Or lurks in the shadows. Sure it’s weird but sex itself is weird. We’re all here to have a good time, right? This anime doesn’t disappoint in that sense if you have an open mind (and libido). Though I have to admit that I do have interest in sex but I’m not that sex crazy so I’m going to pass and not even think of f*cking the other species. Because hot sexy human female teens are my only type. That’s racist! Okay. Whatever. As long as I like it. But where can I find those hot singles near my area who wants to hook up with me?! So I give this series a 6 out of 10. Not because of the sex reviews. Rather, the sex puns that I can learn and use for as cheesy pickup lines. Or not. So enough reading reviews already. Get up and go bust a nut today!

Overflow

April 17, 2020

At first I thought it was going to be a normal ecchi romantic comedy series between childhood friends who act like siblings but aren’t blood related. It didn’t even occur to me that instant then that after reading the synopsis how their passion will ‘overflow’ after a weird encounter in the toilet and how this young romantic comedy will not let us say it is over, that this would be one of those mini pseudo hentai of the season. Even the poster of the main characters putting their asses together didn’t make me think so. Probably I wasn’t horny then. Only a while later as I reread it all again just to make sure I’m getting it right, it is then Overflow struck me as those sleazy hentai short. I guess the floodgates are all open wide. Let all the horny stuffs overflow the gutter of the mind!

Episode 1
Must be nice for childhood friends to live together, huh? Oh yeah. The Shirakawa sisters, Ayane and Kotone showing off how great their boobs are. Lucky boy, Kazushi Sudou returns but gets scolded by Ayane for not getting the message of buying the pudding she needs. He then heads in to take a bath but Ayane is also not pleased. She has prepared her expensive salt bath and he just dumped his ass in there like that? He dares them to bath with him. Challenge accepted! Yeah, they come prepared wearing their swimsuits underneath. Since Ayane ‘chickens out’, she lets Kotone dip in first. Kazushi using this weird excuse to grope Kotone and don’t tell me Ayane who is washing herself didn’t notice this going on?! When Ayane dips in together in this already tight tub, Kazushi’s dick enters Kotone’s pussy. For some reason, Ayane thinks this is no fun and lets them bath together first and she’ll come back later. This is the flimsy excuse to get Kazushi horny so he f*cks Kotone hard. Bet it was a good bath. Don’t taint the expensive salt bath with your semen! But just after they finished, impatient Ayane comes in. You guys are taking too long…

Episode 2
Fortunately, she goes away after hearing that they’re not done yet. Phew. That night as they sleep, Kazushi somewhat feels guilty for what he has done to Kotone?! Blame your wrong head for doing the thinking. He wants to apologize and according to porn logic, how do you do that? You f*ck her some more!!! Uh huh. Blame Kotone for having such sexy bootylicious body. Then he realizes this is Ayane! Oh sh*t! He f*cked up this one!!! Normally in this situation, you usually back down and try to give sh*t tons of excuses. But what does porn logic dictate for Kazushi? Go all the way and f*ck her!!! And so with her cute moaning and the way she allows him to play her nipples, I guess she has to keep quiet in order not to wake her sister as this f*cker rapes her in bed. Then full mode penetration until he cums. Hope he doesn’t wet the bed with his semen. I guess she gives him the most annoyed looking face after sex. But it’s all worth it after f*cking her like that. Uh huh. Her punch is also worth it all. And best of all Kotone didn’t find out because she is still deep asleep. Goddamn this guy is so lucky.

Episode 3
Oh dear. Kazushi feeling guilty again? Better stop f*cking girls if you don’t want to feel like this! Naturally it gets awkward when he is with Ayane. Probably it is his fault that she is skipping school and going home at this hour. A guy’s worst fear when she asks him why he did that last night. No more excuses for him. He apologizes but before he could proceed, she forgives him. So calling her cute gave him a free pass? And what do you know? Lesson not learnt. This activates Kazushi’s horniness. Yeah baby, let’s do it one more time. Even more so when Ayane is the one who asks him to continue from last night! You betcha! After kissing her, he goes deep inside her before climaxing. Oh yeah. The best ever. You’d think there is something wrong with Ayane after sex when she is acting all weird. But Kazushi was probably too dense to figure it out then. Because he never saw her again after that. Oh sh*t… Don’t make it sound so dramatic, please…

Episode 4
Ayane won’t even reply or answer his calls. This is serious. Even Kotone thinks he did something to make her mad. But who cares? As long as Kotone is here, still got a pussy to f*ck. And she is here to do some lesson reviews. Probably maths got boring she gets up close to him and starts kissing him. Is this part of the lesson?! Kazushi realizes she ate some chocolates with alcohol. Why is it that girls who get drunk become horny? Porn logic dictates that you go with the flow and f*ck her! So they get naked and start the show with this 69 play. Best maths number for sex! Once they’re done, it’s back to basic multiplication AKA fornication for them. I’m sure they pass this physical education with flying colours. Like how his semen is flying everywhere! HAHAHA!!! So this sex might just be a bait to get him to come to their school this weekend for the sports festival. Because Kotone really wants him to make up with Ayane. Oh well. Can’t say no after she’s given you her body.

Episode 5
So Kazushi did meet Ayane at the festival. But of course she ignores him and when he wants to talk, she goes away doing something else. After her cheerleading stint, Kazushi really needs to talk to her so he forces her to talk alone at the girls’ changing room. Of all places… So about that cold shoulder you’re giving me… Actually, Ayane was just too embarrassed to face him after their f*cking. Yup. She’s not mad at him. What a relief! He pats her head and hopes she could come by sometimes. It’s lonely without her. That really turned on the mood. Fast. The quickest make up would have turned into a make out had not the other girls return to change. So naturally they hide in the locker. Instead of silently waiting for the storm to pass, Kazushi starts molesting her! You trying to give us away?! That’s all up to you! Thank goodness the girls left in time before Ayane let out her passionate scream. Because the locker is too cramped for sex, it’s a good idea to lock the doors before having real sex. And so they can f*ck all they want before the next event. The sports festival, that is. Not whatever their next sex act! And do clean up the floor and not let your semen stain it, okay?

Episode 6
The sports day continues with Kotone in the scavenger hunt. Well, looks like she’s in luck. She needs to find an onii-chan. And with that, she wins the race! Probably this gives her the courage to go talk to him alone in the classroom. Uh oh. I can see where this is going. She wants to let him know how she really feels. I knew it. Ayane’s face flashes through Kazushi’s face. Before he has got time for some guilt trip, Kotone says she wants to be by his side. She doesn’t mind if Ayane is his number one because she can settle for second place. That’s why she wants him to look at her just for this moment. Ah, damn porn logic. There’s your cue for them to f*ck. Holy sh*t, after that foreplaying, Kazushi cums and I thought it was over. Because now is the penetration part as he f*cks he deep and she is lovin’ it. Yeah, he cums again. No wonder she’s so happy. Don’t take too long because Ayane is waiting for you both and it’s getting hot. Well, not passionately hot. The sun’s freaking hot… Can’t she just wait in the shade? PS: How many times can Kazushi cum?! Last episode was the same day, you know…

Episode 7
Ayane wants to make breakfast for him. Sure. Why not? Kazushi probably didn’t expect early in the morning as he wakes up to see Ayane in a naked apron. Is this the breakfast? Bon appetite! So apparently Ayane got this idea because her nosy friend suggested it would be good in wooing men. You damn right it is. At least for this genre. And hungry Kazushi is even asking permission to eat, uhm, I mean f*ck her. Go ahead. And here’s your sex act today. Then he bites a love mark on her tits so as to leave a proof that she belongs to him. Weird and creepy if you ask me. Both eventually orgasm and they’re so satisfied. I hope they have space for lunch. And dessert. When Kotone returns, no luck in catching them in the act. They’re back in their clothes but acting all embarrassed. But does Kotone know what happened? Anyhow, she’s glad. Please don’t tell me she’s the dessert…

Episode 8
Pool episode! This means swimsuits! Oh Kazushi. You’re ogling at how hot the sisters are, right? Oh Ayane, don’t get mad when he stares at you like that but at the same time you scorn him for his fashion sense when he says it is too revealing? Can we save this for later and go have some fun in the pool. Lots of fun indeed until the god of naughtiness decides to do some nipslip on Kotone. Yeah. Her top came off. I don’t know why Ayane has to go look for a new one for her. Wasn’t her top just floating there? Or it got disintegrated when no breasts fill it for a few seconds?! There’s literally nobody in this unpopular pool park! So anyway, Kazushi takes Kotone to hide at some storeroom. Bet your hands must be tired covering those boobs like that. Here. Let me hold them for you. And in the meantime, let’s make out. Oh yeah! Best pool episode ever? Everyone is happy on the way back. I’m sure we know who had the most fun. And as always, Kazushi being the ‘smart’ guy he is, knows that his depraved days with the sisters will not end soon. Sure, but I think we already had our fill.

My Cock Runneth Over…
I guess it is really over then. At least as far as this anime is concerned. Nothing much. Just your usual life goes on for them. Or rather, the f*cking goes on for this weird family unit. If I should call it that. Imagine it all started in the toilet and then it just blossomed like that. They’ve upgraded from doing weird sex stuff in the toilet in just about doing anywhere else, huh? Oh well, got to keep the passionate flame of horniness going and overflowing. Also, got to keep 2 tit monster b*tches satisfied. Kazushi is one really busy man.

And as you can see, there is actually no real plot here whatsoever. Heh. Which porn setting has a real plot anyway? But if you take a look at this one in particular, it really is very lacking. Nothing at all. So much so you can say the story is about childhood friends awakening to their sexual romp with each other. That’s basically it. No wonder there were only 8 episodes. I suppose it is a new trend now for pseudo hentai anime. It could have been literally anything. Current colleagues, former colleagues, long lost friends, etc. But I suppose the childhood friend trope is easier to deal with because you already have that shared bond. Hence easier to twist it and use it as a plot to f*ck. Otherwise the story is so general that the only ‘drama’ is the quarrel between Kazushi and Ayane. Therefore the twisted reasoning how they will f*ck to reconcile. I know. Porn logic. Don’t ask.

Characters… So meh. So generic. So boring. Kazushi is a college kid. Makes him a bit older so it looks legit if he starts f*cking his childhood friends who are a year or two his junior. Because of porn logic, this guy is so generic and thinks with his penis. Can’t blame him. He is at that age where it is natural to think about all those kinds of stuffs with the opposite gender. And with the sisters being so busty and sexy, this ‘aggravates’ his horny side. Yeah, you’d be a fool not to take advantage of them seeing that they also have their ‘permission’. How nice it is to have 2 girls by your side whom you can take turns and f*ck. Variety is the spice of life, they say. Good for him. F*cking a different girl a different day makes his dick stay healthy always! HAHAHA! Ayane the tsundere and Kotone the meeker one who doesn’t mind being number 2. There is always that girl in a harem who prefers to stay as the role of a concubine. Because of that, the moral dilemma being posed to Kazushi whom he should prefer. He likes Ayane but with Kotone so willingly like that, is there anywhere in the rulebook that says he can’t have both as his main? And… WHAT MORAL DILEMMA?! Just f*ck everything! F*ck, f*ck and f*ck them all!!! Oh yeah. Keep spilling those love juices of yours, Kazushi.

Is it me or did I notice that the mosaic censors for the porn scenes are somewhat lesser compared to previous pseudo porn animes? Yes, there is still the mosaic censor but this time the dick and pussies can be seen ‘clearer’. Or is my imagination that sharp that I am starting to see things?! After a couple of years censoring these parts out, they might have brainwashed us to think that this is pretty normal. The mosaic censors bit by bit lessen out as each season passes. By next season, the mosaic censors may not be even there. And we’ll get a full view of dick and vaginas. I don’t think it will happen otherwise the show itself can’t be shown outright and have to be aired via underground hentai channels.

On a trivial note, I think old veteran anime fans will notice this. Doesn’t the voice of Kotone sound a lot like Ilya of the Fate series?! Oh my God! Yes it is her!!! YES IT IS!!! That’s the voice of Mai Kadowaki! But wait. The credits listed Anzu Mitsu as the voice of Kotone. True. But that is Mai Kadowaki’s moniker when she is voicing shady adult stuffs. Because of her distinct voice and role as Ilya, every time I hear Kotone talk, I can’t help envision that it is Ilya. Even more so when she gets f*cked. OMFG!!! I can’t take my mind off this! I’m not really an Ilya fan or a lolicon but each time I hear her voice moan and groan like that, I just cannot shake off the vision that this is Ilya being f*cked!!! Oh sh*t!!! It will probably be worse if I close my eyes because I fear I might see clearly Ilya in my head then. It really feels weird after all the sex act is dusted and done. The thought that it was Ilya and not Kotone getting defiled really messes up with my mind. It goes to show how distinctive her voice is and that it could really ruin and shock you if you are not really strong enough and prepare to steel your heart to hear a decent seiyuu doing such indecent voice acting work. It’s like as though she doesn’t really want to try and hide that Ilya voice and wants to make us feel guilty and weird. The ‘punishment’ for all you perverts out there because it is our own minds now that is the biggest culprit that has sullied Ilya’s innocence. Damn. This is going to take a while for me to get over Ilya being f*cked…

Overall, this is not the worst pseudo anime porn out there and is definitely below average. Nothing really special. I thought they would put a uniformed man as the feature for this season like how a fireman and prison warden got its spotlight but I guess they might want to save other professions for future seasons. Worse, it isn’t as funny (in terms of porn logic) as I thought it would be compared to all the previous mini hentai like this that I’ve watched. Even worse, still can’t shake off that feeling that Ilya’s voice was behind Kotone’s character. This is what happens if the German loli aristocrat won the Holy Grail war and wished herself to be grown up and busty and Shirou getting all horny with her. Yikes. I like it how all my horny creative juice is overflowing and having me spew out crappy and cheesy nonsense at this point. Don’t expect all this to stop any time soon because porn and horniness flow forever eternally like an endless stream, never ever drying up. I guess they’re right when they say they won’t let us say “It’s over!”.

Kandagawa Jet Girls

March 29, 2020

Okay, people. You know it is time to put up another series with some sleazy fanservice. What’s the best way for girls to bare their boobs and butts and dress all sexily without having us questioning too much? That’s right. Water sports. The only time when we horny otaku guys get to legitimately peek on girls with more skin than their clothes. But we’re not going for just any realistic water sport. We need to mix it up with some sort of fantasy either. So I guess beach volleyball is out, huh? Yeah, we had that back in 2018. Remember Keijo? Yeah, that was too obvious. So what a way to get boys who like their big machine toys by introducing babes and jet skis. Yes, people. Jet ski racing. Herald, Kandagawa Jet Girls! Don’t you just love it that hot sexy chicks in tight outfits riding their hot sexy water craft machines faster than the stars? Is it no wonder why this ‘futuristic’ sport is all female only?

Episode 1
When Rin Namiki was young, she watched her mom become the new champion of Jet Race. I hope she just isn’t admiring those huge boobs… Many years later… Her mom’s dead! Oh dear! That escalated quickly! It is also at this strange point Rin decides to transfer to a high school in Tokyo and he father gives his blessings. Countryside girl is of course amazed at the new sights of Tokyo, meeting weird girls whom we’ll know will serve as her future opponents. The big city is also confusing for her as she gets lost. And robbed! She chases down the thief but luckily Misa Aoi trips him not because she wants to but was trying to nurse her swollen foot (from kicking the VR machine!). So inside her bag is a giant dolphin bolster that she can’t sleep without? Is that the only thing she packed when she came here?! Misa isn’t the friendly kind so she leaves. When she returns to her dorm, guess what fate has in store for her? Rin will also be living here and yeah, she will be her roommate! Hyper Rin tries to bug Misa to be friends at school so much so Misa just finds her annoying and avoids her at all cost. Not until she hears Rin’s dream to become a Jet Racer and how she loves riding a jet ski. So Misa relents and lets Rin hang out with her. But as they do so on a pier at Kandagawa River, the snobbish Kaguya Shijuin and her maid, Kuromaru Manpuku tell them to get out because they are going to use it for their jet ski activities. Misa being obedient moves but Rin stays put and believes the river belongs to all. Hence Kaguya is going to teach her the rules of the place. Yes, they’re going to settle this via Jet Race. Rin accepts because she wants to become a pro Jet Racer someday. Misa feels conflicted of not stopping Rin. Obviously something has happened to her as she once harboured those dreams but has given up on them. Anyway she prepares for the race with Rin. Rin being the Jetter while Misa as the Shooter. Race day is here and while it looks like Rin-Misa (known Kandagawa Jet Girls AKA KJG) is in the lead, I guess somebody had the naughty idea of putting Shooters in this aquatic race. Because Kuromaru shoots Misa’s ass till her pants drop off!!! WTF?????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUU???!!! WHY NOBODY MADE THIS MOVE ILLEGAL???!!!

Episode 2
So we are explained about pants being shot off as a safety device. WTF. We are worried if Misa’s ass is going to be okay?! Obviously more rules explanation and there is more to a Shooter’s role than just shooting pants off. But of course. It seems there are certain points of the jet ski one can aim at. Once it reaches a certain critical point, the jet ski will forcibly shut down its power and go slow. WTF is this stupid rule?! Might as well just have Shooters shoot ass all the way! Of course it won’t be shooting all the way as we see the Jetters pulling off some manoeuvring. Rin makes a few surprises as she is able to surpass Kaguya at certain times. Seeing Rin serious must have made Misa not fool around too. Uh huh. Serious enough to shoot of Kuromaru’s top! In the last spurt, Kuromaru has shot enough to forcefully make Rin’s jet ski slow down and that is how Team Dress (Kaguya and Kuromaru pair) win at the last moment. Of course Rin doesn’t feel sad but enjoyed every bit of the race. Later Misa asks her why she did not use the boost system. Simple. She doesn’t know how to use it! She only knows how to use those on old models that her mom used. Rin learns that Kaguya wasn’t being a mean bully trying to monopolize the river. They had booked it earlier on and there are sets of rules to do so that everyone can share and use the river. Of course only clubs and association can do that. Unfortunately their school has no Jet Race club. Did Rin pick the wrong school? And of course, that won’t stop her because she’s going to make a new club! Certainly she’ll overcome all the procedures needed to create her new club. Like the case of an advisor, plead with puppy dog eyes until Yamada sensei gives in! Need more members? Plead and bribe Hina Tsuruno with more food till she gives in! Maybe Rin is too eager that she tries to submit for club approval to the student council president, Fumika Shinshijuin without getting enough members and will think about that once the club is running. Too bad she is kicked out. Then she tells her ‘sob story’ to Misa and in some ways she takes pity on her and decides to join her club. Wow. That was easy. Big thank you girly hug coming your way!

Episode 3
This is also how you snag a new member. Because Kiriko Yoshitoku is a mechanic and loves to fix jet skis, Misa offers her to dabble with their jet ski as long as she joins. You bet she’s in. Eager beaver Rin goes to submit to Fumika but gets thrown out again! Puppy dog eyes didn’t work this time. But hearing her lament she wanted to challenge Kaguya again, Fumika asks her if she can really do that. Because Rin says she can, Fumika will join her club! But Rin has to be careful not to pronounce her name since her family is a branch of Shijuin family and she doesn’t like that. With the club approved, Rin talks to Misa about it. Eh? Misa says she didn’t say she joined her club?! WT?! Did she forget last episode?! Rin feels so bad she misinterpreted her words and will go take off her name. But Misa stops her. What’s done is done. First club meeting, they discuss about Kaguya. Yeah, never lost before. Going to break some consecutive wins record if they win this year’s Kandagawa Cup. Misa throws in some tough training regimen for Rin and is surprised she is still hanging in there. Maybe she does have what it takes to defeat Kaguya. Hence Misa asks Rin for an outing this weekend. Our first yuri. Of course they get separated and with Rin getting lost, she stumbles into the typical pair of spunky-foreigners-who-love-Japanese-culture-so-much-they-pretend-they-are-Japanese, Jennifer Peach and Emily Orange. They are grateful she picked up their dropped item so they decide to take her around as treat. When Misa finally finds her, she is not pleased. Somehow she hangs out with them too and is further displeased the weeaboos have already taken Rin to all the places she planned to take her. Rin tries to calm them down by letting them choose souvenirs she bought but Misa and Jennifer end up picking the same yellow keychain. WTF?! Rumbling boobs to show the intense of their rivalry???!!! They’re ‘roaring’ away!!! And you’ve guessed it, the only way to settle this is via Jet Race. Oh boy, it really came down to this, huh? And that fake Rocky theme song so epic…

Episode 4
Wanna bet that Jennifer and Emily AKA Unkai Surfers are top scholarship recipients at a prestigious American high school who are studying abroad and a powerhouse in their field? Yup, thought so. The race starts and apparently when you boost your jet ski, it also changes shape. We’re not here to see jet ski transformation, right? We see Unkai Surfers taking the lead while KJG making a few mistakes. And then Emily’s gun is a bazooka! OMFG! Is that even legal?! No wonder Rin’s top got blown off despite not taking a direct hit! Also apparently at a certain stretch of the river, there are ramps you can use to jump over if not traverse through the obstacles. Misa doesn’t want Rin to use the ramp and save her boosts. And you know things are going to get serious when Misa know turns a sharp shooter that a single shot blows off Emily’s suit. Emily tries to use her bazooka to put up a water screen for distraction but I guess the downside in having a bazooka is that it has very limited ammo. She’s all out of them. Then on the last leg of the final lap, as Unkai Surfers uses the ramp, Misa’s idea is that when they are directly underneath them, she puts all her power into a single shot at their engine and forces their jet ski to shut down and go slower. With that, Rin presses and zooms ahead and overtakes the foreigner duo and wins it. In the aftermath, Rin still gives them keychains and of course they get so emotional about it because the true treasure is their friendship, right? So rivals become friends but still remain rivals? Misa is happy to keep her yellow keychain but refuses to say why she really wants it so badly. Hey, let’s not ruin today’s great race over something so trivial.

Episode 4.5
WTF???!!! WHY DO WE EVEN NEED A RECAP EPISODE?! Oh, the plot must be so convoluted and confusing that we need to remind viewers what happened to the story so far. Oh yeah. Because viewers are too lazy to go back and watch those episodes. What’s this about production issues?! You mean those delicious asses and tits weren’t enough to motivate the staffs to finish the job?! You guys failed in giving us our weekly fapping material!!!! On a serious note, while they only show recycled scenes from the early episodes, some ‘new dialogues’ are narrated by Rin and Misa so you can’t say that it isn’t entirely copy and paste. Oh well, have some fanservice better than none at all.

Episode 5
Rin makes it sound like she and Misa have become one! Not sure if the rest understood the real message but their reaction sure make it look like it’s a big deal. Later the duo try to practice their VR but then it broke. Kiriko tries to fix it and realizes the core is busted. Time to go get spare parts. Rin is happy to go with her and apparently Misa doesn’t want to be left out and also tags along. Worse, we see Misa feeling worried because Rin looks pretty close to Kiriko. Then as an excuse, Misa suggests to take Rin sightseeing since Kiriko is better off shopping for the parts. Sorry, but this isn’t Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen making its debut. Instead, it is the name of a pair of lesbo Chinese idols, Ziyu and Dina. Yeah… They’re quite popular too. Also here are Jennifer and Emily. They patron one of Hell’s Kitchen’s idol café (don’t worry, everything here tastes sweet and delicious) as the foreigners talk about the idol duo not only being famous idols but pro Jet Racers. More woes for Misa because Rin gets a call from Kiriko that she is done shopping. So what’s wrong? How the f*ck did Kiriko get Rin’s number when she herself doesn’t have?! More sad cat Misa face as Rin is all clingy to Kiriko on the way home. And then Rin goes out with the foreigners to Hell’s Kitchen’s concert. Now Misa is so ‘traumatized’ that she is sitting by herself at some dark corner that she almost scares the sh*t out of Hina. She gets the hint after Misa mumbles something about wanting to get a friend’s number. Hence we see Misa practising by herself on how to ask Rin for her number. Painful to watch. Real test comes when Rin suddenly returns. Now’s your chance… Nope. She left. Next time maybe. KJG finally have their go to practice on Kandagawa. However suddenly they get word from the association that their slot has been cancelled. What gives?! Turns out the one behind this is Hell’s Kitchen after using arm twisting tactics to get the association to bend over and f*ck them in the ass. Yeah… And when they start badmouthing others, that is where Rin draws the line. Their win had nothing to do with luck. Prove it. And as expected, this is going to be a jet ski duel. The winner gets the rights to use Kandagawa. As expected too, the idols take an early lead and leave our favourite duo in the dust. Make that water trails.

Episode 6
Hell’s Kitchen navigates the water better and Misa suffers from her jacket being shot off. You’d think all this is part and parcel of the drama when suddenly… Plot twist! They cut short this race as Hell’s Kitchen wins!!! WTF???!!! TOO FAST!!! And of course KJG returns to their daily lives. Obviously Rin is putting up a fake front and you can tell with that fake happiness. Misa tries to cheer her up and bring her on an outing. As they take a selfie, a pair of gals, Manatsu Shiraishi and Yuzu Midorikawa accidentally walk by and ruin their selfie. Rin recognizes them as they were the ones who helped take pictures for her when she first came to this city. The gals lack tact since they also point out they recognize them via their recent loss to Hell’s Kitchen. Misa is not pleased and asks who these b*tches are. Wanna bet they are also pro Jet Racers known as Baba Girls? Yeah. Misa doesn’t want Rin to hang out with them for they could be bad influence on her. Since when is Misa her mom? Unfortunately Baba Girls take that as an insult. Oh no. I can see where this is going. Yup, they’re going to settle this via challenge. And that challenge… Bowling?! Damn they trolled us… Obviously Baba Girls are good. Then a few more other challenges too like ping pong, basketball and some dance game. Why do I feel it is to showcase their sexy curves? Of course Baba Girls beating KJG flat in all games. Unkai Surfers happen to be here and just in time to be the commentators of this pool version variation snowball-cum-dodgeball game. In the end, Baba Girls trounced KJG. And of course the lesson of it all that should make our heroines realize what they lack: Communication and teamwork. On their way home, Rin admits she got worked up when the loli duo badmouth Misa. Hence blaming herself for the loss. Misa hugs her and suggests the only way to get better at communicating is via exchanging numbers. Yeah, nice. That did the trick. Rin is so happy that she never thought she’d ask. Wow. Rin bawling like a baby in public. Embarrassing… We hope the duo can communicate better because they seem to be doing so during their bedtime. Yup. Lots of texting to each other. DESPITE THEY’RE JUST SLEEPING A BED BUNKER AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 7
It is rumoured that a monster named Nyunyu lives beneath Kandagawa. Hence Hell’s Kitchen is doing so pseudo documentary to go catch it. Ziyu accidentally fishes off Dina’s top. Nothing fishy about those little monsters but I’m sure the fans would appreciate it. Hahaha!!! Meanwhile the test is coming up and Rin is confident because she has never failed one before. And that jinxed it because she failed! She has to buck up because as Fumika warns, if she continues to fail the make-up tests, she will have to take remedial classes and this means no Jet Racing activities. And the Kandagawa Cup is just around the corner… With Misa agreeing to this, Rin can’t even sneak in to practice on VR. At the library, Rin spots Kiriko reading an old Jet Racer magazine. Yes, Misa is in the article and it seems she was quite a pretty famous Shooter then. Why she transferred to this school without a Jet Racing club is beyond them. So Rin goes to ask her directly. Though she didn’t get mad, Misa reminds her to get her priorities right. Luckily Rin listens so she burns the midnight oil till she finally passes. When she resumes normal training, suddenly she falls sick. Poor girl. I hope studying didn’t cause her to burn out like that. That night, not sure why Misa suddenly got some panic thoughts on Rin. Hence she stares at Rin while she is sleeping! I swear this girl is getting creepier by the episode. Next day, Misa is out training, she spots Baba Girls trying to catch Nyunyu for social media likes? With that small net? They learn Rin is out sick. You know the cue of visiting her, right? Back at the dorm, Misa washes Rin’s back. Because of the ambiguous noises they make, the eavesdropping Baba Girls get the wrong idea. But nothing more to it as Misa lets them in. Apparently the best way to help one down with the flu is to eat lots of snacks! Yeah. Here’s the full course. Even Unkai Surfers is here to help Rin recover with their canned fruits. Yeah, it’s getting noisy and I’m sure Misa is not happy her private time to monopolize Rin is gone. That night, Misa catches Rin crying in her sleep. It’s yet another one of those dead mom’s dreams. Rin explains to her how mom died when she was young. Because she wants to experience Kandagawa the same way she did, the reason she transferred to this school. Misa assures she is here for her. Next morning, Rin wakes up and finds her sleeping by her side. I’m sure it was not the hand holding all night long that cured her flu.

Episode 8
Hell’s Kitchen are now doing… Bungee jumping?! Man, the things they would do to get ratings… Don’t push or you’ll both fall first… Too late… Regarding that Nyunyu hogwash they did last week? Yeah apparently many are starting to believe that monster is true. Rin is watching the race they lost to Hell’s Kitchen. She thinks she got what they’re missing: A weird team pose! Misa vetoes it of course. As they head out, they see Baba Girls still trying to catch Nyunyu. Apparently rumours say that if you catch it, your wish will come true. We know it’s nonsense but seeing Rin really wants her friendship to deepen with Misa (and also accept that weird team pose), she’s in for the ride! And yes, Misa who didn’t want to tag along, has to tag along. Because, friendship issues. Underneath the maze of sewers, obviously Misa is scared so Baba Girls can’t help tease her especially with ghost stories. Reaction so priceless. Especially when Misa trying to pretend to play tough. Even Rin got into the teasing! And when everyone starts tickling her, who is tickling her feet? WTF?! Mice?! Then there’s the whole pack of them! Run! WTF?! MICE GONNA RAPE THEM???!!! They got lost but no worries, that light at the end of the tunnel has them come up a well of the shrine house of Inori Misuda. Japan is so good that they even invite strangers to a bath, even those coming out from your abandoned well. Of course this leads to some bath time fanservice. Baba Girls really ‘exploring’ the boobs of KJG. After bath, Inori even treats them to a nice meal. Great hospitality. Then she ‘warns’ them about Nyunyu. It could be the reincarnation of the local Kanda God as it was once a paddy field. Hence they must not encroach on this land will ill intentions or be met with divine punishment. After they return home, I guess Rin still has mommy and friendship issues so the next day, she returns to Inori to seek advice. Something about leaving her friendship to the will of God. Seriously? Inori then explains she must also work hard for it. Pray is just to declare your intentions and not just to hope God will make your wish come true. Here that, all you people out there! Work hard! And so Rin goes to pray at the shrine that they will be in sync to win the next race. Gotta start small.

Episode 9
The Kandagawa Cup is around the corner. Here is how it works: In the preliminary rounds, the 6 teams who score the most points move on to the finals. That’s it. That’s all you need to know for now. I guess for KJG, if they want to face Hell’s Kitchen who is seeded in the finals, no prizes to guess they must succeed in the preliminaries. As KJG duo go on their routine training, they see a girl, Fuuka Tamaki seemingly wanting to jump off the bridge. They go restrain her and she explains she didn’t have such intention. However, since she was reflecting upon her disgraceful self, she thinks off jumping off anyway! WTF?! KJG stops her and of course the cue for them to listen to her woes. To put things short all her grand poetic words, I figure she has some love problems and the person whom she is in love with is in danger of going away because of her overbearing ways. With Rin talking about feelings and believing, you bet Fuuka will change her mind. For now. Back at the shed, don’t get surprised if Rin can’t fit into her suits because her boobs have grown. Nope. Misa feels her up and notes it isn’t her boobs. Phew. Has she gotten fat?! Nope. She now has muscles! Trolled us! I suppose the suit is so tight that they didn’t make provision for muscles, huh? Not that I can see Rin’s bulging six pack either. Anyway, Inori and Fuuka enter and stumble upon this yuri scene. Sorry to interrupt. After clearing the misunderstanding, you would have guessed that the only reason why the duo popped up before KJG is because, yeah, wait for it, they are their competitors in the preliminaries. And hence KJG will be up against Inori-Fuuka pair known as Sea Serpents. When the rest starts, KJG is shocked that Fuuka’s character changes 180 degrees! Why, she is like a crude and aggressive gangster girl! Then they realize that because she has a split personality, it could be this other ‘person’ that she meant she was talking about. In this tight race, we see Fuuka f*cking aggressive. Is it even legal for Inori to be carrying a gatling gun?! For added ‘suspense’, both sides shoot off their suits. Time to show those boobs and asses. In the final stretch, just when Inori’s gun runs out of bullets, Misa shoots to slow down their machine. Then it is a mad dash to the finish line. Too close to call. A photo finish will see who wins. Guess who? A DRAW???!!! Wait. So how? Anyway, Inori calms down Fuuka who now reverts to her repenting meek personality. It’s not touching. It’s just weird, seriously.

Episode 10
Based on their last performance, Kiriko thinks some power unit upgrade is necessary if KJG wants to win their next race. Unfortunately a decent one costs 300 grand but luckily a more compatible is cheaper. Just 200 grand. Oh well. Time to beg for money. Hence Misa goes to beg Fumika for funds. You might think she would give in after hearing the buzzword to defeat Kaguya. But she’s not dumb. Defeat Kaguya first, then we talk money. An argument ensues. Basically a chicken and egg situation. Once they defeat Kaguya, then can get all the money they want. However they need the money to defeat Kaguya. See where this is going? Eventually the only way to assure funds is to get it themselves via part time job. Gee, I wonder if there are high paying part time jobs. Aha! Sell their bodies! Thankfully, that didn’t cross their minds so we see them do convenient store jobs to food sampling to maid cafes. And when they pool their money, they are just short of 20 grand. Damn, these jobs pay that high for a short period? What timing when Jennifer calls, claiming she has a high paying part time job for them. You mean they’re going to sell their bodies now?! Just kidding. Working at a beach house run by her aunt. With those cute sexy girls, it’s no wonder business soared by 200%!!! Once they get their pay, it’s all fun in the sun and sand. Even Baba Girls are here. Oh, Hell’s Kitchen too. Since they’re in public, they are on their best cutie behaviour. Also in good timing, there is a beach volleyball tournament that offers 100 grand prize money. You know what’s coming. Hey, I thought this is a jet ski anime???!!! We see all the jet ski girl teams bulldoze the competition. In the first semi-finals, Hell’s Kitchen defeat Unkai Surfers. In the other semi-finals, KJG beat Baba Girls. The finals is really a close race. Dina is on the verge of losing her patience but suddenly the match is stopped! It is their manager coming to pick them up for slacking on a tight schedule! Hey. Can she just waltz in like that and do as she likes? Who the f*ck is she?! Anyway, with Hell’s Kitchen forfeiting their match, KJG wins. Damn, come to think of it, for an obscure mini tournament, they sure offer a f*cking great prize. Oh well. Goal achieved. KJG will get their parts and we views got our weekly fanservice. It’s a win-win for everybody!

Episode 11
Suddenly… KJG has qualified for the finals!!! Woah. I suppose the other competitors weren’t that good or important, huh? So as they celebrate, we hear them note that KJG blew away their competitors without the power unit because their order will take some time to arrive but it’ll be here before the finals. Uh huh. Just to tell us how much more powerful KJG can be. And so we have 6 finalists for the finals, all of whom we already know. Yup, no new faces here. And you bet KJG is going to be the dark horse of the race. KJG practice but it seems they aren’t able to get the results they want. Cue for Misa to have a flashback why she doesn’t consider herself a genius. Her sister, Risa was the talented one whom she looked up to. Then one day Misa blundered and cost them a win. Because of that sole incident, she decided to quite Jet Racing and enrol in a school where there is no Jet Race club. Talk about giving up so easily, huh? I suppose the finals must be far away because Rin decides to return to her hometown. And with Misa being alone, she stumbles into Sea Serpents as they invite her to a training camp. Not sure what this training camp is about but looks like they’re just cleansing themselves under the waterfall. Meanwhile Rin has returned. She thought the huge crowd was to greet her but too bad, only her dad. The crowd is because Hell’s Kitchen is also on the same ship. Rin visits her mom’s grave and is lost on what to do next. You mean racing her heart out wasn’t enough? Coincidentally, Hell’s Kitchen are also here to pay their respects. They confirm Rin is the daughter of Ran, the person whom they admired and the reason why they got into Jet Racing. Ran told them to just be themselves because they are different people. With that, Rin’s blues are blown away. She realizes mom has always taught her what to do but she had always tried to follow in her footsteps. You bet she’s going to try her best now. Misa finishes her training with a clear mind. When she returns, Rin has also returned. Man, what a quick trip? This time, Misa has something she wants to talk to Rin about.

Episode 12
We see Kaguya holding a lavish party. I guess it is to explain to some uncle why she is into this sport. You see, being born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she wanted to show she could achieve something with her own strength. So I suppose Jet Racing > feeding the hungry kids in Africa, huh? I guess confused uncle just agreed and his face looks like it’s written ‘whatever’ on it. So the thing Misa told Rin was about her past, her sister as a talented Shooter and how she almost gave up on Jet Racing. So she’s telling her now to get this off her chest because they’re about to enter the biggest race of their lives. Good thing. Don’t want this past to haunt you and mess up during the race, right? Also, Rin tells Misa about wanting to follow her mom’s footsteps but realizes it wasn’t the right thing to do. So now they’re friends? You bet. Because Misa accepts their chibi face logo as KJG’s emblem. And so the much anticipated race is here. As it starts, we quickly see where the teams stack up. Dress and Sea Serpents fighting for the lead, Unkai Surfers and Hell Kitchen’s battling in the middle while propping up the back are KJG (as expected) and MKHU (you mean this is the official team name for Baba Girls?!). As we also expected, KJG needs to boost up if they’re going to win this. So they boost ahead to the middle of the pack and shoot off the suits of those 3 teams! Like, WOAH! Because they’ve given us their role of fanservice, it’s time to make them crash out. Uh huh. KJG’s boost causes a tidal wave that has them just bump out of the race. You’ve served your roles, ladies. Thanks. With the field halved, KJG and Dress got this same idea to gang up on Sea Serpent. So after shooting off their dress, their role too is over and hence they are shot out of the race with their jet ski going into tailspin. And in the final lap, KJG and Dress go head to head as they race towards the finish line. It’s a close finish, but not close enough for a photo finish because KJG wins!!! OMG! From last to first! Everybody rejoices! Our losers are grateful in defeat including Kaguya. Time to return to more training. It is hinted that her trainer could be Risa. Rin so happy that she cries and hugs Misa in front of everybody. Isn’t friendship embarrassing?

Go Jetters: Girls Gone Wet & Wild!
Oh wow. I didn’t really expect that kind of ‘rushed’ ending. Me being so sceptical at this point was thinking that it could end on a cliff-hanger and not resolve anything. Then they surprised me and end it with the typical fairytale ending because our dark horse favourites pull of a come-from-behind win to take the ultimate trophy. Wow. Such a sweet and lovely ending. Now we don’t have to worry if there is going to be another season or not to settle this. And so KJG has risen to popularity to become champions faster than the stars after giving Dress their first ever loss in this important cup. No wonder. And whatever record that Kaguya was going to break, nah, no more important.

It feels like the whole story and everything is half baked and all over the place. Like as though they’re writing it as they go along. Because you can tell that they are dragging out the drama and not having loads of Jet Racing action. I mean, isn’t Jet Racing supposed to be the main attraction and theme of this series. Oh wait. I forgot! It’s the fanservice! But anyway, you can’t entirely blame that this series feels unfinished because it is part of the bigger project of developing a video game of the same time. So after the anime has finished its run, the game is scheduled to be released in early 2020. Hence this series feels like one big promotional stint just to promote the game. Initially I was confused that the game had already been released because my lazy Google search has netted results of various screenshots of the game. So why is it not released during the run of the anime? Oh well, I subsequently found out that those were just promotional screenshots and trailers of the game. Sighs. I only I had just reading a little harder. It goes to show that I just need to put in more effort if I want to blow away any misunderstanding. Oh well, not that I’m actually interested in playing the game anyway. Besides, doesn’t the rushed ending feels like a big promotion for the game? Not satisfied with how the anime ended? Go buy and play the game then! I guess there are new characters and sexy girls for you to shoot off their suits!

Speaking of promotion, there was an OVA released after the TV series finished. It was supposed to promote the video game but even if I guessed correctly it was going to be filled with the same sleazy fanservice, I didn’t bother to watch through the entire thing. Uh huh. I just skimped through, making this 22 minute OVA over in less than 5 minutes. So basically it’s about Kaguya calling the rest of the jinjang gang to help do a promotional video about Jet Racing as per requested by the association. Yup. Those men in high powered suits know nothing about it and entrust this to a bunch of sexy hot babes half their age. And as you could guess, the girls have no clue on what to do so it turns out mostly with lots of fanservice, a typical cutie Hell’s Kitchen idol video, more fanservice, some weird American ninja weeabo sh*t, and hell lots more of fanservice. In the end, those executives are probably gay because the filming done by our amateur film shooting girls came out looking more like some sexy porn teaser. So they reject the whole damn thing and replace it with some stupidly boring mascot to stupidly boring explain what Jet Racing is. Yup. Wasted all their effort and even rushing to submit it for the deadline. What are the chances the video game will also be toned down because of this? Is this some sort of premonition?! Well, doesn’t concern me. Not going to play the game.

Because this is not your usual jet ski racing, there are certain terms on how this race is conducted and some of its rules. Very briefly. It’s weird they are racing in canals all over Japan and do they have to clear out all the boats that are parked there each time a race is held? I mean, some of those boats are homes for some people. Do they really need to clear the area? Because jet skiing in circles is boring, that’s why they incorporated another player just to shoot and make it more exciting. Except for fanservice reasons, the shooting is as boring as the race. Uh huh. Weird obstacles in the race too? Time to show your flying skills or your weaving abilities. Not that it’s that exciting either. Furthermore, when the series reached halfway and particularly after KJG’s loss to Hell’s Kitchen, there has been a dry run of jet ski races since! You’d thought that there would at least be 1 jet ski race per episode but in the second half, they took a detour like trying to find the mythical Nyunyu and WTF a beach volleyball competition?! I know variety is the spice of life but is Jet Race that boring that they need to incorporate this bunch of other stuffs?

And you thought Kandagawa Cup being the most important of all the jet ski racers, the Holy Grail of the Jet Race, you’d thought there’d be more competition but what the heck? Only 6 finalists? Maybe six sounds close to sex. Like, sextet. Sexy, geddit? Like where is everybody else?! Plus, is there some sort of Jet Race agency or union or association that is supposed to exist at least in the setting in this anime? Right: JJRA– Japan Jet Race Association. Because even if they do exist, they sound like they don’t because we have ragtag teams of the girls coming from all over the place. Heck, high school and teenage girls racing. Is this sport really regulated? Or it’s just one big pastime in this alternate setting of Japan and the adults just sleazily approve and close an eye on this sport because they want to see boobs and ass. Yeah, whatever. And isn’t it unfair that the Shooters, one team only has a pee shooter and the other some bazooka? Doesn’t the rules regulate this too? Talk about inequality. So who is holding the BFG 9000 then? Yeah, whatever again. As long as the clothes come off faster than the stars, we shouldn’t be complaining :-).

The other odd thing about the Kandagawa Cup as I noticed, if it was such a big and important event in Japan (at least in the setting of this anime), why are the streets somewhat empty? If you take a look at the bridges where all the audiences are watching, they are just paltry. Just a handful of people standing on the bridge watching. And you thought the bridge will be jam packed with cars but apparently there is no traffic at all! It looks so much like a dead town! Heck, even those buildings by the river, nobody is peeking out their windows to watch this race! So where the heck is everybody?! Is this just an elite sport for the few? Those JJRA buggers should just increase the number of teams in the finals, to attract more viewers. Is it me or do I also notice that many of the audiences are girls. Are the guys in this town gay because there are a handful of hot sexy girls and yet none of them even came out to watch. I understand why women only enter this sport and there might not be even a men’s category. But something wrong with this sport when it’s supposed to attract male boners but instead girls are interested because of the potential yuri. Just saying…

Of course everything in this series screams about fanservice. So much so that there are 2 versions of the anime while it was running. Yup, you’ve guessed it. The censored version or the uncensored one. Because I’m such a high class hentai noble, I watched the censored version as I am using my ‘superior imagination’ to visualize those tits and asses that have been blocked out by ‘blinding white lights’. Ah yes. I can see them so clearly now! It’s all in my mind!!! Rin and Misa’s tits and asses! Only amateurs and newbies as well as hardcore horny lowlifes will desperately watch the uncensored one. Oh yeah. Keep watching and enjoying those uncensored ones for visual eye candy, you lowly peasants! I’m now part of the elite group of aristocrats! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh damn, I forgot that despite the different taste in fanservice levels, we’re all still lowlife scumbags of perversion! Once a pervert, always a pervert. You’ve seen one pervert, you’ve seen them all! Sad… Sh*t, I’m getting side-tracked here…

Anyway, I believe that they are trying to come up with something different using the jet ski racing model while also incorporating fanservice into it. Because of that, there are a few mind boggling questions that you would have probably wanted to ask. For instance, the suit that they wear that can be shot off. If that doesn’t scream fanservice to you, I don’t know what is. Now, I read an article that the producer did provide an answer the necessity of wearing such suits in the first place rather than just hopping on the jet ski on their skimpy bikini. According to his answer, to briefly put it, it is to serve as security and protection. You know, when Shooters shoot their guns (some of them whom have bazooka-like firearms!), it is to protect their skin from being ‘damaged’. Okay. Cool. But why the f*ck then can it be shot off???!!! Do you understand what I mean?! This shows that the security suit is not doing its job properly if it can be shot off!!!! And so it leads back to the typical answer that it is just for some cheap fanservice. Nice try. But try again, dude. So, if the suit can be shot off, why not their normal shirt or pants underneath? Damn, these are more durable than the suits! Can those be shot off?! We’re waiting for the day it can! Dude, think and try harder again!

More fanservice galore when you realize that the reason a Jet Race is a team sport because when both girls huddle closely to each other when the race is close to the finishing and when the Shooters have run out of ammo, doesn’t this riding in tandem look like some sort of sex position? For example, Rin is always bent over as she is steering the jet ski as a Jetter. Once Misa is done shooting and of course they need the drag and aerodynamics science crap for them to go faster and hence Misa will also bend over, making her boobs touch Rin’s back and her crotch close to Rin’s ass. It’s like some backdoor sex position but on a jet ski! Is that high class or what?! I’m sure this is the best ‘ride’ ever. HAHAHAHA!!! Oops… And of course fanservice literally scattered over the rest of the series like the girls having some weird bonding in the bath, girls touching each other here and there (yuri cue!), ambiguous angles that show those delicious parts as well as the mid-intermission eyecatch that has some of them close to being porn potential. Seriously.

And the best part of the fanservice is how they trolled us Rin can’t zip up her suit. We’re thinking, oh damn, her boobs must have grown because she’s been pushing those twin mountains against her jet ski all the time. Mind boggling but literally somehow it worked. And then they tell us it is because she has developed muscles, that’s why her suit is so tight!!! WTF???!!! MUSCLES???!!! WHAT THE FFFFUUUUUU?????!!!!! Can they just get a bigger suit? And with the exception of the loli twins, why the heck are the rest of the other girls have big boobs? Is there some sort of prerequisite for one to enter this kind of sport? Boobs must be this big if you want to participate in Jet Race. Unless you’re a bunch of famous flat chest idols with the backing of a popular agency strong-arming your way through.

The characters are a big fail and there is nothing that makes you want to support any of them. Not even KJG despite being the main characters and the supposed star of the show. As you can see, both of them have their past and their reasons to enter this kind of sleazy sport. Both of them are the polar opposites of their characters because it makes better drama, I guess. Like Rin who is so bubbly and my pace, the kind of genius and advent in the game because she knows nothing about it (or at least, her knowledge of the sport is still stuck and outdated when her mom was the ‘world’ champion), only to somehow let her inner talent burst out at crucial times to deliver the desired ability. She wants to be her mom but I have seen lots of animes like these to tell that people like her usually need to follow their own footsteps to achieve greater heights. That admired person is just a guide and stepping stone. Everything is up to you. Uh huh. It’s that cliché moment that a character needs to have at least a parent dead so that it serves as motivation to go achieve greater heights. And as always, mommy will always be watching you from the stars, my little darling. Wow. No wonder Rin no more lost. You go get ‘em, girl!

If you find Rin’s liveliness annoying, at least it is not as annoying as Misa who is being somewhat a tsundere. She has this conflict about becoming Rin’s friend. Yes, she wants to become her friend but I’m not sure why she is so scared of doing so. Is it because Rin will tease her or something? Hence, she’s putting up that b*tch face and rejecting all of Rin’s attempts while in the background when nobody is looking, rues another loss chance. Is this what you call friendship drama?! It sucks, by the way. Sorry folks, no outright yuri too. But a little yuri is hinted so use your imagination. And then of course, to make her the brooding character who is opposite of Rin’s, to explain that, that is why we had that short flashback of her being a failure. Just 1 damn failure and she used it as an excuse to quite Jet Racing???!!! An excuse to continue painting her sister to be the all-time great. So where does it leave her? In limbo. Ironically she’s doing it now with Rin but her heart is not in there. I can see why KJG can’t easily win races all the time. We’re going to need a miracle like Rin’s 1000% optimism if they really want to beat all the favourites if Misa is going to continue to have low self-confidence. Luckily, all they need to do was to come clean about each other and hence the miracle of them suddenly working together like a charm without the thorn of their past bugging their performance. Heck, it’s like they didn’t even needed the latest boost system at all. Their friendship is the booster! Want more firepower to that boost? Get more yuri! HAHAHAHA!!!

The rest of the other characters are just meh. Especially the club mates of Rin and Misa. They actually don’t really matter. Even for the silliest reason that they need the minimum number of members to form an official club, they still are sure lacking in almost every way. Okay, to be fair, perhaps Kiriko is valid because she is the mechanic who tunes their jet ski. This gives Rin and Misa time to practice their skills instead of tinkering with the machine. But for Hina and Fumika? Why the heck do they even exist?! Maybe Hina is like the big sister, the manager who handles the other stuffs but I don’t really see her doing it. She’s so forgettable that at times I even forget she existed. We need a b*tch character like Fumika so that this snobby noble could one day rub it in her higher status family member that she’s no pipsqueak. However, it is Rin and Misa doing all the work and she just sits there doing nothing but give lip service sometimes. Otherwise her character is just redundant. Since KJG won, I didn’t see her bragging about it. Yay. So we beat Dress. So what? No effect at all. Because of that, Fumika feels so ‘absent’ in the final episode. Like we’ve forgotten about this somewhat. Same feelings to for Yamada sensei. The club just needs an advisor so it doesn’t look like a bunch of rogue girls gathering illegally in some illegal hideout to discuss Jet Race issues. Really.

And as you would have guessed, the rest of the characters who are the main rivals-cum-friends for KJG do not fare any better as well. Like always, variety is the spice of life and that’s why you have a really colourful bunch of weirdoes with their own weird personalities just to make things interesting. Somewhat. So like Kaguya the high class arrogant b*tch and her glutton maid Kuromaru, you bet somebody needs to bring them down from their high horse. Then we have a bunch of loli b*tches AKA Hell’s Kitchen who are equally as b*tchy because we need a loli version of b*tches in addition to big boobs noble b*tches. Don’t want any more b*tches to overlap the characters already. That’s why now we have a bunch of weeaboos, Unko Unkai Surfers who speak in weird accent just to show that they are foreigners who love Japan’s culture. WHO DOESN’T LOVE JAPAN’S CULTURE OF ANIME, MANGA AND GAMES???!!! Next, we have a pair of sluts AKA Baba Girls MKHU. Somebody needs to be hyper sexualized and thus the reason you have them. Because the way they talk and act, it’s like they’re itching to get f*cked. Like as though they just came out from some porn shoot and want more. Lastly, the very odd pair of Sea Serpents (should I call them snakeheads?), one with a personality disorder and one is a miko priestess. Are you sure it is not against their faith to do this kind of thing? Okay. Whatever. All in all, these characters serve as KJG’s main rivals and due to the lack of episodes, they are not fleshed out properly and that is why like me, you get to form stereotypical bias perception on the kind of characters they are. Hey, don’t blame me for pigeonholing them so. You didn’t tell me their back story so and so, so how am I going to understand why they’re acting like that?

Art and animation aren’t anything special. Just passable. Sometimes they use CGI during the jet ski racers but they’re palatable. I’m sure this is how the game is going to look like using this kind of graphics. But the one thing I find weird is that how some of the girls look fat! I mean, the way the characters are drawn, some of them really look chubby. Take a closer look at Kiriko, Rin and Misa’s face. No, take an even closer look. Do you not see the slight plumpness in them? Even more so with Kuromaru because she is actually a fat girl but her overly huge hentai-like boobs prevent us from seeing those flabby belly. Yikes! The jet ski designs are also not bad but too bad they aren’t given that much prominence compared to the curves of our girls. Sad… This anime is animated by TNK who produced the High School DxD series, Sin: Nanatsu No Taizai, Kenzen Robo Daimidaler and School Days.

I must be hearing things because I thought I heard Kana Hanazawa as Fumika. Nope. Wrong! It’s Hisako Kanemoto (titular character in Shinryaku! Ika Musume). Didn’t recognize any of the other casts. Well, maybe except for Satomi Satou. Barely. In a very soft spoken voice lacking of all emotions, she is one of the commentators of the Jet Race but her character is so insignificant for me to remember. Sad… Oh, Minori Chihara as Risa? Wasn’t paying attention to a character that had just a few seconds cameo. Anyway, the other casts are Yuu Sasahara as Rin (Akari in Tonari No Kyuuketsuki-san), Riko Kohara as Misa (Rokka in BanG Dream), Ai Fairouz as Emily (Hibiki in Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru), Lynn as Jeniffer (Maya in Sabagebu), Naomi Oozora as Dina (Kiriha in Tsugumomo), Rumi Okubo as Ziyu (Aguri in Gamers), Chika Anzai as Manatsu (Reina in Hibike! Euphonium), Kaori Maeda as Yuzu (Mari in Back Street Girls: Gokudolls), Aya Uchida as Inori (Kotori in Love Live), Ayaka Asai as Fuuka (Hazuki in Hibike! Euphonium), Azusa Tadokoro as Kaguya (Kotori in Gokukoku No Brynhildr), Aya Suzaki as Kuromaru (Mako in Kill La Kill) and Maki Kawase as Kiriko (Yakumo in Val x Love).

The opening is dung by the KJG duo. Faster Than The Stars Bullet Mermaid is your typical lively beat with some techno in it. Great for this series but not likely to end up in my personal list of top 100 songs of the year. The ending theme is Rivals by Azusa Tadokoro. Another generic rock music. Same, great for this show but not really to my liking. Now, the one that personally takes the cake is that fake Rocky BGM theme song. Even if it isn’t as epic as it is supposed to spoof, hearing this song each time never fails to make me break into a smile. You know, “Oh God. It’s that song again…”. Yeah… Also, my ears might be playing tricks on me because I think there is one BGM which I think sounds very close to Hotel California but in shamisen version. At least there is just one line that sounds close to that Eagles’ all-time hit. Other than that, many of the other soundtracks are made out of dramatic techno beats that are used mainly in the Jet Race.

Overall, this feels like a series just trying to cash in on the fanservice. Obviously the only memorable thing about this show which is otherwise so very forgettable. The story, the mechanics of the sport as well the characters are not properly written out and sometimes when you think about it, it’s that feeling that it’s just bad that it’s good. If you really want to watch a water sport series that is filled with ‘satisfying’ fanservice, go for Keijo. When you are already going for the fanservice goal, might as well go all the way of using the basic tits and ass instead of some machine to make it less obvious. We’re only lying to ourselves. No matter how sleazy and pervy the reason, we just want to see boobs and butts in action. That’s why Keijo was so highly successful that they couldn’t get another season. Heh. Sad… So whoever wins the Kandagawa Cup, we the audience are the biggest winners as we get to see the wet girl on girl action. And if we’re lucky, all their clothes come off during the race! Faster than the stars! Oh yeah, lots of huge cups for us to savour! So why aren’t we making jet skis the next popular sport in the world?!

I guess we’re going to have another season. Perhaps it is the trend in today’s era. Because Tsugumomo is going to get another season and hence the crowdfunded started back in 2019 and achieved its goal. But before we bring you the next season, here is a thanks to all the contributors with Tsugumomo Chotto H Na OVA. You’ve been wanting to see the tits of all the girls in the series without resorting to some underground porn, right? That’s right. Your wish has been granted. This OVA is the perfect appetizer for you perverts out there before we get started with the sequel.

Part 1: The Slave Master
You know how strong Kazuya’s morning wood is, right? He has to put up with Kiriha sleeping naked. Because she’s like the queen, he is forced to wear clothes for her and hence touching those delicious parts. He feels bad about it but sometimes he likes it too. In school, she falls asleep and doesn’t pay attention. On the way home, she forces him to spend his limited allowance on her whims and fancies. Like on this dessert. But to show she is not all that bad, she shares it with him. Heh. It’s his allowance after all. Back home, Kiriha’s choice of dressing continues to distract him from his studies. The real test begins when she has him bathe with her. And because the sponge is missing, he has to rub her body parts with his hand. Yeah, this might not be so bad. Not only her tits, but her pussy too! THIS ISN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL!!!!!! Kazuya thought he won since she gave out a little embarrassing eek. But after she is done cleaning her, she grabs his balls to destroy his dignity and bring him back down to earth. Who’s the real master here???!!! In bed, she sleeps all over him. Even though he has endured a lot of suffering from her, he doesn’t want this relationship to change. If he could, he wants this to continue every day. You mean he likes her busting his balls?! Oh God, I hope he didn’t turn into some masochist…

Part 2: Sentou Ga!
The gang visit the public bathhouse. As you can see, Kiriha and Kukuri try to outdo each other at every single chance they get. To a point where they did kanchou on each other’s butthole!!!! I suppose Chisato has more problems than worrying about Kokuyou’s humongous tits so she has to discipline the loli duo and smack their butts till they’re red. Behave!

Part 3: The Dominator
We see Sunao dominating over Kotetsu since young. Including that one time he complained boys and girls shouldn’t be bathing together so she shut him up by grabbing his balls! Kotetsu’s suffering since then. Then this moment where Sunao came home tired and just dropped asleep. Kotetsu had to take off her clothes and change for her. Yeah, undressing fanservice. Why not just let her be? Scared he’ll get some punishment next morning? Then seeing the tears in her eyes, I guess it’s goodnight. Huh?

Part 4: Boob Job
Kokuyou wants to give Kazuya a boob job to thank him for all that he’s done!!! Since when did this turn into a porn shoot?! Claiming her tits are ugly, Kazuya dismisses all that and mentions all her good points. Including her boobs. Having said that, she insists in giving him a boob job. Got caught with his pants down when Kiriha and Kukuri return. Kukuri can’t stop shrieking. Worse, Kokuyou wants her to join in! Can she, with those non-existent tits? Kiriha can’t stop laughing…

Part 5: Incontinence Inconvenience
For some reason, Kazuya can’t move. But he needs to go to the toilet. Hence Kiriha and Kukuri try to help him pee! This is so embarrassing. I don’t know how they did it but it went okay. More embarrassment for Kazuya when they put diapers on him. So he prefers to let girls help him pee all the time?

Part 6: Erection Test
Kazuya reads a manga story to Kiriha. Turns out to be an erotic one. Kiriha is curious to know which his favourite is and since he won’t tell, she crucifies him and will test him. Does she need to call the other girls too? Oh well, I guess everybody wants to know. So as she reads several erotic settings, the gauge is of course Kazuya’s little brother getting it up each time the erotic scene is read. Safe to say, he reacts to all of them. But then there is one yaoi scenario. The other girls are interested in this one? But it seems this doesn’t belong to Kazuya. Whose? Kasumi of course.

Dakara Boku Wa H Ga Dekinai!
Poor Kazuya. He’s a sexual assault victim!!! He has got his modesty outraged almost every day especially by this tsukumogami and if luck has further abandoned him for the day, he gets his balls grabbed. Because he is a guy, nobody is calling the cops. Plus, we all otakus love seeing this guy in pain, right? Double the fun when we also get to see sexy fanservice of the girls. So who’s complaining? It’s amazing he still has maintained his sanity (and chastity) after all the sexual abuses. In that sense, he is the strongest character, no?! I suppose after achieving almost 7 million yen in crowdfunding, adapting just 6 shorts from the extra chapters of the manga volumes seemed like a rip-off. Hey, who am I to complain? I didn’t contribute a single yen! And hey, I actually didn’t know this came out (nor the second season) just only a few weeks ago! The other thing I like is the ending song which is a full on devilish hard rock piece. Yeah, so epic and badass it feels like a waste for this ecchi OVA. So thanks for the fanservice and the not so friendly memories of a girl grabbing a guy by his balls as punishment. Yikes. Now I’ll be waiting to watch the next season with my legs clutched tightly together.

Docchi Mo Maid

March 13, 2020

Well, well, well… Is this coincidence or is this fate? That I stumbled upon an obscure ONA series, Docchi Mo Maid. You bet I’m going to watch this single 2004 ONA episode that lasts only 13 minutes. As long as maids are the theme, hell yeah I’m going to watch it. What’s this? Lewd maids from outer space trying to save Earth from monsters? Oh, this sounds funny bad… But I can’t contain my curiosity just to watch how bad this is going to be. I’m pretty sure the maids will end up saving this series. RIGHT?!

Earth’s in trouble but the maids are ecchi…
Wow. Bath scene staring Mei and Ido! Oh yeah! Then when they get out of bath, they got the audacity to blame it on their mascot, Frilly (whatever this piece of sh*t is). As narrated, thanks to humans being the ultimate polluters, hence the recruitment of these maids from outer space to save the world. Currently they are residing in the house of this taciturn girl, Izumi. I think Izumi doesn’t give a damn what those maids are doing. Better head off to school. Along her way, her bicycle’s brakes snap. Downhill all the way. Fortunately, she fell on a giant lizard monster. Frilly sees this on TV and sorry to interrupt your yuri time, maids. Time to go save your friend! The monster seems to like Izumi. King Kong? However with its multiple tongues around her, you bet it’s going to be tentacle rape time! Of course the maids won’t allow such rape scene. As Mei is about to fire her beam, a tongue whacks her and her beam destroys the mountain in the back!!! Then the maids get paralyzed by some aroma or something. Not sure. But it looks like their face is preparing to be raped or something. You thought Frilly might do something but instead a jet fighter bombs off the monster’s head. Everybody cheers when suddenly the monster reverts to its true form: A cute seal. Oh damn. Everybody now so sad. Is this seal gonna die? Frilly points out it isn’t. It just needs water. And hence the maids start making out in public to transform into nurses. Then they just drop a drip of water on the seal to revive it. But it still can’t do anything but swim, right? That is when the crowd will help. Help cheer for it to stand up and go to the sea! Ganbare!!! Tatte! Tatte! Genki ni nare!!! Oh yeah. That sure helped. Yes it did. And so the seal made it into the river as Izumi and the maids wave goodbye and go home.

WHO MAID THIS SH*T????!!!!
WTF… WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST WATCH???!!! It was so horrible and so bad that it was just utterly good. Really. It is a shame that this didn’t get more episodes because I would really love to watch more of this crap even if it is the worse! Uh huh. Just bait me with a couple of maids and I’m all good to go! Heh. So to sum it up, everything is utterly nonsense and doesn’t really make sense. It is so crappy that you wonder whoever thought up of this sh*t was drunk and wrote the story as they go along. They try to bait us with the maids being yuri but you know, seeing this in current era, this is really nothing. Maybe it was back in 2004 but now this is like nothing. Even their ecchi bits are just meh. Yeah, me standards are so high. The lazily named maids are one thing but the main character Izumi is like, why do we even need her for? She hardly does anything and if there was a ‘funny’ character, it was Frilly. Sort of. Funny in the weirdest sense. And Izumi is like having no emotions or she puts on a very good poker face. Sometimes I think is saying that she has had enough of those maids living with her and is hiding her emotions to put up with them. Whatever. Everything is so crappy that you don’t want to care for everything, right?

And of course, you can tell from first looks that the animation quality is just crap. Even if this was made in 2004, it is still crap. Everything is so poor quality like as though the producers got their young nephew and niece toddlers to draw the art animation. In fact, the animation style reminded me of another mini series that I watched a long time ago, Mahou No Chocolate. Doesn’t Izumi look like that protagonist of that series? The similarity is because both series are animated by the same studio, Ishikawa Pro. Probably by now that studio is already closed down. Even the opening and ending themes, Docchi Mo Daisuki and Yura Naruse and 5-jikan-me by Kozue Kurage respectively sound as plain and minimal as it can be. The singers sound like they have no proper training and were just told to sing it the best and in the cutest way they can. Wait till you hear the part that needs them hitting the high pitches… Yeesh…

Overall, looks like this is another one of those watch and forget crappy anime. A trash masterpiece, if I should say. Should be in the running for the Razzies. For consecutive years! No wonder this didn’t get any further updates. I thought at least this would be somewhere near the level of Yuri Seijin Naoko-san but unfortunately this is way far from that nonsensical yuri slapstick. Thank goodness my love for maids didn’t diminish after watching this. So next time instead of using maids to save the world, probably it is best to get maids to save the anime industry first. Yeah, that would be better. Ganbare! Tatte! Tatte! Genki ni nare! That should give you people enough motivation to make better animes!

Again… Sighs… WHY, JAPAN?! WHY OH WHY???!!! Trying to outdo yourself again? Oh well, it was unexpected since it was announced right after the first season ended. If you couldn’t get more of your horny desires of watching women with irked and sickening faces while showing their pantsu, then you will definitely love the sequel, Iya Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai S2. Yup. More or less the same thing. Those girls somehow agreeing to flash their panties at us just because we are ‘persistent’ enough to beg. But in exchange, we also must see their disgusted face. I suppose that’s a fair deal. That’s why we’re here in the first place. Again. Now hurry up and show us your pantsu!!!

Episode 1: Chitose Itou (Maid)
Wohoo!!! The best character has been retained!!! We go see our favourite maid again and we can obviously see from her chiding face that screams, “Oh, why it’s that perverted master again”. She claims she won’t show her pantsu even if we beg and kneel. Oh, so she’s just putting up a tough act, huh? Because the moment we prostrate ourselves, she panics. She didn’t expect us to do so and feels sad!? WTF?! So she rather throw away her own self-esteem than see us go this low? Okay. Whatever. That logic seems to actually make her calm down and we get to see her cute face. We are actually fine with this and should have just f*cking agree that we want to see her pantsu just because she is wearing it. But for some stupid reasons, we say we want to see them because it’s there. Uh huh. Doesn’t matter who. Anybody wearing the pantsu, we want to see it!!! WTF???!!! WHAT THE FFFFUUUU????!!! WHY???!!! And with that, our maid gets angry and does her trademark mean face. Sighs. Oh well. What is the name of this series again? A very annoyed maid then barely pulls up her skirt just for us to see…

Episode 2: Yuno & Kano Futaba (Twins)
What is better than seeing a single pantsu? Why, seeing double pantsu with twins! Our twins are so happy with us sensei because we helped them score better. But Kano is teasing Yuno that she did slightly better than her this time. Then Kano tries to get us to take her to the park as promised but Yuno disagrees since she scored higher the last time but didn’t ask for any reward. Then probably this yuri wrestling awakened our horny desires. Because when the twins ask for our answer, we say we want to them both… To show your pantsu!!! Initially shocked at first, they are even more disgusted when we start laughing and remain firm in seeing their underwear. I guess their respect of us has tanked. So they eventually want to get over with this quick. Yup, just show their pantsu as the minimal thanks for helping them in their exams. Then GTFO of here and never show your face anymore! Don’t come to us for the next test then…

Episode 3 Shiori Matsuura (Bookstore Clerk)
Shiori is happy that her favourite customer is back to get more books. After she happily recommends a book, we complain that she made a mistake in the book we ordered. She panics that this is the third time she has made this mistake. She’ll do anything to make it up to us! Anything, you say?! Show us your pantsu then!!! You heard that right. We’re bored with words and now we want picture book! Save us your fancy reprimanding words of how disappointed you are in us. Enough of words. Just show us your pantsu! Yeah, bet you never knew we also read other kinds of books, porn!!! Hahaha!!! But the reason why she put her disgusted face is because she is disappointed that we are a straight person and not gay!!! Sorry to disappoint you!!! Not all guys who love books are yaoi material!!!

Episode 4: Natsumi Hayakawa (Dentist)
Open wide!!! Cutie dentist assistant seems to be flirting with us as she cleans our teeth. She even hints that if we manage to get through this, she’ll give us a reward. Aha… Once we’re done and we are making bookings for the next appointment, she hints the reward as certain days where she has free time. I guess we’re pushing our luck as a big idiot because we know she likes us but instead of agreeing to a date we want her to show us her pantsu!!! WTF?! We even admit that this is a good chance to see her pantsu???!!! Wow. We’re really f*cked up. And just like that, she lets her see what’s underneath. Yup, agree with her we need not get our teeth fix the next time but our pervy personality!

Episode 5: Riko Fujino (Childhood Friend Imouto)
Our little sister is so happy that we took her out on a date today. She even thinks if we look like a couple. Oh, you bet it is going to be ‘better’ than that. In return for this wonderful date, she would like to give us something to make us happy. As long as it is inexpensive. Okay. How about priceless. Like showing your pantsu!!! Not a joke! Show it to us!!! Otherwise today’s date is meaningless! Wow. She looked so disappointed and even dropped the spoon to see if we picked it up. We did! Surprised, no?! And because we couldn’t see it clearly, we specifically tell her to lift her skirt! Yup, that’s what we really want. She takes off the bracelet we bought for her and throws it away before giving in to our immoral request. Saiyaku. Saite. Hope it was all worth it. Damn it was!!! HAHAHA!!!

Episode 6: Maria Takayama (Nun)
Previously, lots of people might have converted into Christian. That’s why her character came back this season!!! Hahaha!!! Anyway, our sister thinks we have returned and repented. Heck, we even wrote a letter to show our true feelings. She reads it and praises the Lord that we have indeed repented. But wait. She read it wrongly. Instead, read not horizontally but vertically. The hidden code to our true desires. Oh yes. Show us your pantsu!!! Uh huh. We’re still sinners. Then we go into prayer mode and promise this will be the last time!!! Our sister is starting to lose faith in us as she lifts he skirt. Oh yeah! We can see heaven coming!!! We’re cumming, heaven!!!!!!! Oh Maria, you wised up because with that pervy face you know this isn’t going to be the last time. Best Christian anime sequel ever!

Don’t Get Your Panties In A Bunch!
Oh well. Not sure if there is going to be another season but I won’t be surprised if it will. Because it still feels incomplete!!! HAHAHA!!! Despite a few new characters, I guess a few more types and tropes are missing. Like the policewoman. Uh huh. Perhaps too dangerous to put this profession here because she’ll right away arrest us and lock us up in prison. Worse, police brutality as she pulls out her gun and pumps a few lead into our heads!!! Woah! That would be a shocker. But it could be worthwhile. You know, we could die happy after seeing her pantsu? So die!!! And I did a sneak peak to see other kinds of characters not featured yet that they might want to show us their pantsu in future seasons. A baseball player, huh? Strike and home run, baby! An air stewardess too? Mile high club here I cum come! Hot chick in yukata? Tamaya! What’s this Anubis character too?! Bow down before your pharaoh now! Foxy girl? Finally something furry to pet. Wow. There is so much more they should make a whole proper season and compilation out of these pantsu, oops I mean, girls. Well, there’s the illustration and book compilation if you really can’t wait and available online… But if you want to see your favourite ones get animated, that might take a while the pervy producers contemplate whether or not they should make another season out of it.

As usual, this kind of series caters to depraved and perverted people who watched it. Oh yeah, you must be thinking that yours truly is too. I guess that is why we never learn. We come back for more. All the great rapport we as the main character have built up somewhat tossed away in jiffy. All just for a few seconds of the desire for the pantsu. But still, it is mind boggling that these girls would continue to oblige with us. In the real world, they would have slapped us, beat us up, call the authorities, sue us and still not show us their pantsu. Uh huh. They keep their dignity intact and then they call the police to arrest us. Hence it is still mindboggling how they still lift their skirts to let us feel good. Like as though there are no other options to get over this. I mean, this is after all anime and the logic is that it ends like that in every episode. But to really think about it that they would still show their pantsu, are you sure that deep down they don’t harbour some sort of twisted deep love for us? That’s why this unholy obligation? Just saying… For your information, I’m so depraved that I was laughing throughout the twisted pantsu showing logic instead of feeling horny. Honest.

Seriously. Something is really wrong when you have the silent main protagonist (that’s us) being casted as a total pervert maniac. Take for example Chitose’s case. It is already amazing that this maid is still under our employment. She should’ve resigned the last time but for some reasons, she still stayed behind. Anyway, the moment she relented and was okay in showing her pantsu voluntarily, we already had the key to her heart. But instead, we screwed it up by saying the worst thing that a woman would want to hear. Had we gone along with that game even if it’s a lie, we could have had multiple if not unlimited access in seeing her pantsu!!! Anytime we want too! DO YOU NOT THINK THIS IS MUCH BETTER?! Because we’re such a panty crazy lover and desperate to get our short term fix, we had to slip up and say any pantsu on any woman would do for us. That’s it. I’m sorry, but I’d like to slap this master myself. I’m sure many of you would agree too.

There is one complaint of mine that makes this season feel less great than the first. The real pantsu shot only lasts about a second! OMFG!!! THAT’S TOO FAST!!! SLOW DOWN!!! SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!! Because right after they lift their skirt, that one second camera angle shot is then quickly moved up to focus on the girl’s disgusted face. Sure, we could pause that moment and enjoy it as long as we want. But considering that each episode is slightly over 5 minutes and we got a second or two just to see that delicious scene we’ve all been waiting to see, then it is over too soon. After that ‘lengthy drama’ to get to that end scene, that’s not even 1% of the entire running time of the episode. Are they trying to subtly hint that perverted otakus like as cum too quickly???!!! Oh well, we got our desired pantsu, now look at those disgusted face. Oh well, you’ll get used to that appalling face anyway. Roll safe meme: Can’t really see their repulsive face when you’re watching and keeping focused on their pantsu. Hey, also better to see their revolting face than their crying face, right? Works better on our conscious… That’s why we don’t learn :-).

Until the next time, we can dream of more girls in different outfits doing the same thing. Not enough? There’s always the ecchi stuffs around the internet. Even hornier? There’s porn if you know where to look to get your horny fix. For better or worse (most likely the latter), society in this era has reached this stage that it is no longer the question of morally good or bad series. We can argue this is a form of art, but hey, who are we to judge? You like it? Good. You hate it? So be it. As long as men will continue to be fascinated with women’s panties and Japan continuing to exist, I think it is safe to say that we’ll be seeing more of this morally questionable form of entertainment for a long time to come. In the meantime, can we suggest that for the next season of this series that the girls don’t just lift up their skirts? They have to take off their clothes and show us their bra and panties lingerie as a whole set too! OH YEAH!!! Never have we prayed to God so hard for this to come true!!!!! WHY, PERVERTS?! WHY OH WHY???!!!

Val x Love

February 16, 2020

Imagine the world is on the brink of destruction from demons. God somehow can’t save it. Instead, he sent his daughters down to do the job. However it is not their raw powers that will help save the world. Because they have to go an extra step of finding love. Yup. They said love brings out the power in the maidens as love is their source. What kind of love? Perhaps one of the most ugliest and scary looking kids in Japan to make love with them and prove that it is love that will save the day. I kid you not, this is actually the premise of Val x Love. It is one of those cheesiest and twisted of excuses to bring about your typical fanservice. Of all things… Of all things! Anybody could have thought up a better reason, excuse, plot, story, outline, whatever. But they come up with this. Are you serious?! Did anybody think that they seriously thought this could actually fly? Yeah, it did. Oh well. A fanservice harem, huh? I guess it’s better than overpowered isekai genre. Heh.

Episode 1
The guys are talking which girl will be the one who will win this year’s school beauty contest. Will it be the doll-like Natsuki? Or would it be the student council president, Itsuyo? Perhaps idol Mutsumi will take the crown. But when suddenly a ‘demon’ stands up, everyone cowers with fear! Actually, Takuma Akutsu just wants to go home but because of his big size and scary face, they think he is going to kill them! Yeah, some even jump out of the window! The scariest teacher is even afraid of him! Some think he is that serial killer because there have been incidents of the killer wearing a demon mask going around killing people. Takuma is actually a gentle giant. Just because of his frightful looks, others stay away from him. He too developed a phobia of humans and thinks the only thing he needs is his books. Yeah, he doesn’t need friends. He returns home only to see those aforementioned hot chicks changing. Some are pleased, some aren’t. It seems not only they are residing in his house but the rest of the other Saotome sisters including Futaba, Misa, Yakumo and Kukuri. He really wishes they would leave but can’t find a way to tell it to them nicely. Futaba thinks Takuma is interested in Natsuki and sets them up to study together. Cliché moment when his eraser dropped between her legs and he had to go pick it up! What does this pervy scene look like?! We all know he doesn’t have a dirty mind. His dream is to fulfil his late mom’s wish to study hard and become a respectful person. Futaba then sends them out to do errands. Suddenly a real demon pops up and starts attacking. Natsuki manages to put up a barrier but cannot hold much longer. Because of Takuma acting like a coward, she feels disappointed in him. Until he shields her from an attack. She realizes nothing has changed and hence this weird make out scene so she can power up and transform into her Valkyrie mode and defeat the demon. Yeah, some Norse legend about how the Valkyries are powerful the more love they have. That is their source of power. Why does this sound like a porn setting? The sisters are glad with this outcome as Futaba calls the eldest sister, Ichika to accept Takuma. However she still refuses to accept that weakling. Flashback sees Odin, the ruler of Asgard communicating with Takuma. Midgard will be engulfed in flames in a few days from demons and he wants Takuma to help. Don’t worry, he won’t go empty handed. He bestowed him his 9 beautiful daughters, the Valkyries so that he would grow and become stronger by falling in love with them. Love will save the world! Told you this sounds like a porn plot! I guess Thor is busy away at MCU saving the universe with Avengers from Thanos! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Episode 2
Itsuyo is the top scorer across her grade for the exams. Mutsumi also does well but Natsuki not so. You think Takuma’s grade would be good too since he studies a lot. Wrong! He is dead last! Thanks to his phobia of people, he can’t concentrate on studying. Natsuki sounds mad at him not because she is so but rather she is frustrated he worked so hard and yet he still failed. Takuma is called to the AV room. Suddenly Itsuyo binds him with his chains. So she intends to power up now by dating him? Okay. Whatever. It seems Itsuyo doesn’t really care about Takuma. All she cares about is becoming the strongest Valkyrie and then earn Odin’s praise. Basically, father complex. However everything she tries failed because Takuma himself is nervous with this close proximity. Later a demon is spotted and realizing she is not strong enough to tackle it yet, Itsuyo wants Natsuki to fight it first to buy time for Itsuyo to power up and then join in to help. So this is all part of Natsuki’s sly plan to get even more intimate with Takuma. She thinks she can do better than Natsuki’s kiddie kiss on him. Oh yeah. Sexy time. Is this were they start f*cking? Unfortunately as we know, Takuma isn’t stimulated but he is getting so nervous that he is getting a headache! And of course after all that mature adult talk, Itsuyo baulks and slaps him! WTF. She feels she has not changed and is still a cry-baby as always. Takuma seeing the tears in her eyes remembers how mom used to pat him when he is sad. He does the same on Itsuyo. His giant hand felt like Odin’s warmth. I guess a kiss is enough for Itsuyo to turn into Valkyrie mode. Just in time because Natsuki almost got tentacle raped by the demon! With Itsuyo’s chains binding down the demon, Natsuki easily destroys it. In the aftermath, things return to normal. Natsuki notes something intimate must have happened between Takuma and Itsuyo and hopes he could keep this up and cure his phobia. Why doesn’t she look happy? One of the student council members, Tooru Inukai AKA Garm is actually a watchdog and he is not happy this is how the lover of Einheijer presents himself.

Episode 3
It’s Mutsumi’s turn to date Takuma. In order to level up, she has to successfully finish this date without anyone recognizing her as the famous idol. At the café, a classmate Yamada brags about being the tough guy and badmouths Takuma. Once he realizes Takuma is sitting behind him, that guy apologizes and jumps out the window! However everybody else thinks it was Takuma who threw him out. Although Takuma is used to this, Mutsumi feels bad for him and only by the fact that everyone is afraid of Takuma that is keeping their focus away from her. Their date continues and Garm is watching them. He intends to break their date up but has a better idea. Instead he unleashes a mini demon. It doesn’t have battle abilities but it blurts out that Mutsumi is here. This gossip lover demon has everyone in a frenzy to look for Mutsumi. Takuma takes Mutsumi’s hand and run. She loves this feeling despite the chaos? Trapped, the duo hide in a locker. Yeah. A very tight space. Oddly, Mutsumi is really having lewd thoughts and is hoping Takuma would get it on with her. Too bad. Your guess is as good as mine. This guy is so nervous that he is reciting his studies! Oh Mutsumi, you sound so disappointed. Mutsumi needs to kiss Takuma so that she could power up and use her wings to fly away. However their height difference means their lips can’t meet! So how? Unbutton his shirt and start kissing his chest?! You see, there’s this kiss chart whereby the further the body part a Valkyrie kiss, the longer it will take to activate her powers. I guess blowjobs are out of the question in such desperate times, huh? F*CK THIS LOGIC!!!!! And the mob is starting to notice something strange going on in the locker. Will they make it? Yes they do. Whoosh! Out they fly into the sky. Best part of this date is the view of the beautiful sunset. Takuma has fond memories watching this with mom. The date is successful and Mutsumi gains more experience points. It seems Ichika was there and partly help distract the mob to let the duo get away. Garm also realizes Mutsumi had a bodyguard and felt right not to head straight for her. Ullr warns him to quickly rid of the Valkyries but Garm tells him he needs to perfectly prepare them to be devoured. Speaking of which, the upcoming school cultural festival will be the ideal Valkyrie hunting ground.

Episode 4
All work and no play makes Takuma a dull boy. Hence the sisters try a change in pace by playing a game of tag. But with a twist. The person who is it must snatch panties! WTF?! And it’s everyone’s worst nightmare when Futaba becomes it. I suppose this is to let Takuma have some weird moments with some of the sisters like him petting Itsuyo’s head (because she ‘allows’ him). And then he gets blasted away by Misa so that she and Itsuyo could take on Futaba, this lands him in a very compromising position with Yakumo. Loli doesn’t appreciate his molest and tells him to go die! While Yakumo and Natsuki fend off Futaba, Takuma thinks of hiding in the storeroom but he hears the voice of Shino from inside as she tells him about some story of a coward. Eventually, it’s some lesson to tell him to fight and reach for his goal instead of running away. Game is over when it is revealed this whole tag is to give Takuma a study charm. Eh, I don’t think he feels refreshed after all this tension. I don’t even know panties got involved… With the festival around the corner, the girls want to take this chance to level up. They are concerned with Odin’s recent wrong oracles. Are there any suspicious people around lately? Not that they could think of. Natsuki looks forward to the festival but she is somewhat irked that Takuma doesn’t pay attention to her? Yeah, just staring at his books. Since their class is doing maid café, she gets the honour to dress up and test out the maid outfit. Not bad, I approve! So they have to test out whether it works too? Like Natsuki have to serve Akuma?! Yeah, lots of jealous guy. Demon guy so anxious. Maid cutie anxious. Inukai doesn’t even know WTF he is doing here. He must be cringing inside although on the outside he puts on a very nice face. As you can expect, Natsuki tries to serve him but with both being nervous, cue for this cliché ambiguous scene of cream dropping all over Natsuki’s face and she over him. Inukai then releases something that turns all the jealous guys into attacking demons. WTF Natsuki gets weak when one of them licks her feet?! And when she calls out Takuma’s name for help, instantly he becomes Superman and beats the crap out of all of them. Yeah, who needs Valkyries. No wonder Inukai is relishing their human form is so weak. On the way home, Natsuki once more chides Takuma for just studying. Until he notes she was cute in the maid outfit. That caught her off guard. Embarrassed Natsuki runs all the way home while poor Takuma is left to wonder if he said the wrong thing.

Episode 5
The cultural festival is here. Yakumo must be a sadist as she forces Takuma to lick her dripping wet hand. And then when he gets clumsy and spills all over her, she undresses and wants him to lick all the wet parts! Thankfully (or not) Natsuki is here to stop this unholy act. With the other sisters here, Futaba asks if Takuma would like to be Natsuki’s partner for the dance party. Because he fears others would hate him for it, he thinks she would be better off with someone else. Of course Natsuki takes that to heart and she’s not pleased. Hey, wasn’t it her fault being a tsundere and said she haven’t thought of dancing with him? Then Takuma joins Misa and Kukuri in the haunted house. Big strong guy scared of ghosts or people? Kukuri as a goddess scared of ghosts? Misa tries to talk to him about Natsuki. Apparently some jealous guy had his eel slipped and it entered Misa’s clothes. I don’t even know how it swims around like that. You want Takuma to take it out? Don’t be mad when he feels you up. Greatest molestation scene for now. Once he grabs the eel (too bad it wasn’t her pussy!), he rushes out and lets it go in the pond. He is then approached by Inukai who then slices a hole in his guts! Because it is cue for the demonic party to start. A huge demon pops up and some of the guests are being controlled by the demons. The Valkyrie sisters rush to contain the enemy but they are puzzled that Takuma is nowhere to be seen. Could it be he fell victim to the enemy? With more and more demons attacking, I guess we need the obligatory tentacle rape scene. Yup, those demon hands outraging the modesty of Itsuyo and Mutsumi. Best feast ever for now. Meanwhile Takuma is with Garm who is enjoying this entertainment. Takuma is weakened and being pessimistic, believes for the umpteenth time he can’t keep his promise. And of course a flashback of having an argument with Natsuki about his uselessness. Even if all that was true, he has come to her rescue many times. That is why she will keep continuing to believe in him because she believes inside his soul resides a sword that is greater than everyone else. I hope she didn’t mean his dick… Haha! Anyway, this gives Takuma the strength to stand back up but still Garm pounds him. Don’t interrupt his meal. Sorry, Futaba is here to interrupt. She found him thanks to Ichika tagging everyone at the festival. Boy, it sure took some time, huh? You know she’s serious and badass when she puts on her glasses. She doesn’t want his pantsu but his life. Wait. Garm wears pantsu?! Of course not, silly!

Episode 6
Futaba keeps Garm busy while she lets Takuma escape. However Garm’s fangs shred open his stomach till his body rips apart! Fortunately, his charm turned into some Misteltein tree and put him back together again. He fights his way through the demons (with some help from Ichika) to get to Natsuki. Girl slaps him for being so late. Then she hugs him and is relieved he is fine. He just went through sh*t, you think he is fine?! In order to power Natsuki up, they must enter this Val Love ritual in which they must ‘embrace without a stitch of clothing and kiss deeply for 5 minutes’. Gee, glad they specified this part. But they didn’t say anything about penetration… Yeah, somebody wrote this sick part so we can have our twisted fanservice. So the duo start off by wiping each other’s body. Yeah, it’s a slow start since they’re anxious. But better hurry, the sisters are going to get tentacle raped! Once they’re done, it is the deep kissing we’ve been waiting for. Okay… Natsuki seems to be feeling uneasy. So the kiss isn’t working? Then it’s like Takuma is so worried about being her lover that some magical book pops up, he starts making out with her that makes her all warm inside. Oh yeah! Too bad we cut to the chase because here comes powered up Natsuki to save the day. After the monster is destroyed, Garm escapes by the skin of his teeth. Garm is chastised by Ullr for his failure. He notes Takuma’s restorative ability and they need to do something about this or it will get really complicated. Mutsumi won the beauty pageant and is supposed to dance with Takuma. But some flashback thingy with Natsuki, I guess that guy wants to dance with her. Of course Natsuki is shocked, her thoughts are all over the place why he is doing this. He ‘rejected’ her, right? Maybe it is to dance one last time with her so he could be with Itsuyo and Mutsumi? How did this even come about? So as she tries to assert her own worth, Takuma clears the air and explains himself. So misunderstanding over? Then she kisses him. Tsundere says this is so that she can level up. I don’t see any demons around… The dance went smoothly. No jealous people looking so I guess it’s a good ending.

Episode 7
Kukuri created some doctor kit. I guess the Valkyries need to learn to take care of their bodies, huh? So this is part of Futaba’s request so they could play doctor? I don’t think it will- WTF Takuma agrees to play doctor?! Apparently he felt guilty for what happened to them during the festival. So is this how he really wants to make it up to them. Dr Takuma now in session. Futaba is up first. Too bad this turned out to be some boring history lesson so she leaves. Misa disagrees with this doctor game but as she leaves, Takuma accidentally pulls down her pants?! So this was assertive enough to get her play along? Yeah, not sure what lube he is rubbing on her. Itsuyo’s turn… Take a urine test… WTF… Mutsumi… Got a dental check-up. I wonder if she’s enjoying the deeper he goes… Natsuki… How is taking 3 sizes a check-up? Despite commenting on her cute undies, he still gets punched. Yakumo turns the tables on the poor doctor because she molests him just to check him up. Kukuri hears Takuma’s woes and adds something special to the suit that enhances the abilities. However it overheats. To avoid taking everyone down with him, Takuma jumps out and explodes by himself. Yeah, despite being bandaged all over, now the sisters play doctor with him by treating him with goodies. Not so bad after all… Itsuyo seeks Misa’s advice on how to date, thinking she is the master of romance. Of course Misa doesn’t know how that rumour got its way around. She remembers she was either pushed around by her older sisters or busy taking care of the younger ones. No time for love. But so as not to disappoint Itsuyo, I guess she agrees to show her how. Hopefully. With Itsuyo outside and taking notes feverishly, Misa and Takuma go do the laundry. Not sure how this would translate into some date but Takuma gets loads of panty shots and boob shots. He manages to point it out to her and despite acting cool, she is flustering inside. She is having too much on her mind and I don’t know how this happened but it’s supposed to be some fanservice cue so that she could end up entangled with Takuma naked. I don’t even… In the end, the chores are done and Misa feels a bit foolish dragging Takuma into this after hearing him thank her because before the sisters came, he had to do everything by himself in this huge house. And Itsuyo thinks it was such a brilliant date…

Episode 8
The sisters receive another oracle from Odin that a demon will attack. Futaba hopes Natsuki will practice transform but nothing happens when she kisses Takuma. You call that a kiss?! No wonder nothing is happening?! Not even a deep kiss! Just got some of your sisters jealous, that’s all. Oh, just in time for Kukuri to show off her invention that shows the sisters’ stats. You mean they didn’t have this before? Thanks to the recent festival incident, Natsuki’s AP is at zero. Right now the only ones who can properly transform are Mutsumi and Yakumo. Yup, date time to increase their stats. I don’t know how holding hand for an hour can achieve that but Yakumo isn’t pleased. Yes, she doesn’t see how father considers this loser to be the one to save the world! Takuma tries to be considerate seeing Natsuki told her that Yakumo is very sensitive of sound. Because of Takuma’s nervousness, this means his heartbeat is very noisy to her. Unfortunately the date fails when he got distracted. Loser. Next he has to date Mutsumi in some private photo shoot. In a skimpy swimsuit. Yakumo being the cheeky devil tries to spice things up by telling her to flaunt her boobs as well as giving a popsicle to lick!!! And then a demon attacks. Futaba and Ichika keep it busy, enough time for Yakumo and Mutsumi to barely make out with Takuma to transform. Apparently the plan is to keep running from the demon because for prolonged time, their AP will diminish and in the end they will disappear. Yeah, would have done this all the time had the demon’s AP not been so high and our sisters’ level so low! No wonder this is going to take a while. And then some arrow hits the demon. It explodes but also hits the sisters. All take considerable damage. And Yakumo is not pleased that Takuma’s heartbeat is too noisy for her to hear anything. Then Takuma seems to be standing in harm’s way. He remembers what Futaba said about his Einheijer reviving ability and hence the only one who can heal the sisters. And it’s like this gives him the power up to fight back. One punch into the demon! And finally successfully summoning the book to heal the sisters for them to finish off the demon. The one who shot the arrow was Ullr. He can’t take any drastic action to kill the sisters off because Ichika and Futaba could easily kill him then. Finding the revival of Einheijer to be troublesome, he thinks of summoning a certain person. In the aftermath, Yakumo tries to be nice and share her drink with Takuma. But since Natsuki got to him first, poor Takuma got is her usual insults. So mean :’(.

Episode 9
I don’t even know how this is supposed to help Itsuyo level up. In a crowded train, Natsuki is supposed to grope her. She’s doing it real hard because she noticed how developed Itsuyo’s body is. It is supposed to end with Takuma ‘saving’ Itsuyo from the ‘groper’ at the next stop. He manages to somewhat do so but finds his hands groping hers. WTF… I guess that’s enough groping for Itsuyo for today. Ullr and Garm prepare for their princess to arrive but looks like she is already here. Skuld and her maid, Roskva give their initial commands to destroy the Valkyries and acquire Misteltein to save the world. As Takuma walks home with Natsuki, suddenly somebody attacks them. Natsuki protects him but feels she can die from it all if this persists. The attacker turns out to be Ichika who is just testing her. She praises Natsuki for holding out longer and improving. However she is not so kind to Takuma. She berates him for being a weakling. I mean, after all those dates with her adorable sisters and they are still this weak? So apparently as Futaba puts it, Ichika is to be Natsuki’s temporary role as the offensive as Natsuki is still weak. And so this level up task has them scrub each other’s back? Because Takuma cannot summon his book, Ichika is unimpressed of him. Because he isn’t playing the role of the lover, her sisters cannot become stronger. What he feels towards them isn’t love but obligation. To reduce the tension, Futaba sends Natsuki and Yakumo in. I think it’s only worsening things… So as Takuma scrubs Ichika’s back, we hear some narration that the strongest sisters who have mighty powers to fight on par with high level gods have abnormal conditions. Like Shino’s sensitive hearing, Ichika has sensitive skin. Yeah… She’s trying to hold it in… Then it’s her turn, using her body to scrub all over his. WTF this lewd scene… Hold in there, Ichika… If this is too painful to watch, then cheeky Yakumo has a great idea as she does yuri stuff with Natsuki just to tease her! Oh yeah. We prefer this one! In the end, Ichika powers up but due to her low AP, she can’t move after she is transformed. Still trying to talk big when her face is down on the floor, huh? Meanwhile Skuld has a plan to infiltrate the enemy’s base and kill Einheijer in a single blow.

Episode 10
Skuld and her team are on her way to kill Einheijer. They talk about the 3 pieces of Yggdrasil Ea that includes Misteltein, Blot and Mokkerkalfe that consist of very dense aether. Safe to say, it boosts all your abilities. The problem to them is that all the main gods have it and it would be suicide to even sneak in and steal them. However Odin put Misteltein in a human and this is within their reach. Why? Beats me. They are intercepted by Ichika thanks to Futaba’s foresight. Skuld sounds like she is a threat but before she can order Roskva and Garm to kill her, in a flash, Ichika owns them all! Make one move and she’ll kill her underlings. Ichika can also sense Ullr sneaking up on her but when she ambushes him, turns out to be just a normal human. This distraction allows Skuld to kiss Roskva as she transforms into her battle form and summon multiple demons. Thanks to Itsuyo backing up Ichika, they have a chance. However Skuld notices her subordinates have also taken a beating and retreats for now. So this is just a warning? Back home, Takuma’s help to level up Ichika succeeds but unfortunately she gains no AP. So breast fondling didn’t do the trick? Not even shopping? The sisters then discuss on the next action to be taken and they have to be fast since Skuld belongs to the Norn sisters, elite troops for the malevolent gods who stormed the Grasil Palace a couple of years ago. Then the meeting gets side-tracked. Not sure suddenly why Natsuki feels worried about the book Takuma just bought could be a porn magazine. So worried she drank Kukuri’s gadget liquid and becomes drunk. I don’t even… Because this is cue for Takuma to be tasked to put her to bed and hence a cue for Natsuki to start stripping herself so as to flirt her kiddie body with Takuma. And they try to make her sound so disappointed thinking he likes porn mags more than her real body. Yup. They’re also trying to force it with Natsuki trying to feel up to him. Stupid Takuma… Reciting to shoguns of the Tokugawa era… So when the drunk mode is off, Natsuki realizes it wasn’t a porn magazine he bought but a magazine on how to date? Yeah, I guess he is trying to understand his role as a lover better but unfortunately he asked the wrong thing (if she had a lover back in Asgard) and gets beaten up. She gets disappointed he isn’t that brave guy her saved her then because she really wanted to confess her feelings to him. She fears he might reject her if she does so now. Because he continues to be dense, poor Natsuki has to give him a beat down. With Skuld ready for the next attack, it is Futaba’s turn to take to the frontlines.

Episode 11
We see the sisters strategizing over how to defeat Skuld. I guess no use trying to think too hard because it’s time for some Takuma x Futaba fanservice scene. I guess it did power her up as we now move onto the scene whereby Skuld and Roskva have summoned demons to breakthrough Futaba’s great castle defence. Ichika and Takuma are scurrying on the ground trying to find that chance to attack as Ichika explains about Futaba’s abilities that in a way makes her the weakest to fight against enemies. I guess it is cue for Takuma to feel bad and call himself worthless only. Uh huh. The guilt of not being serious enough to help power up the sisters in the first place. You wanna b*tch about this now? Futaba provokes Skuld to attack. When she does, it is perfect timing for Ichika to separate Skuld and Roskva. Her aim is to attack Roskva and sever that power she is feeding Skuld. At this point, Takuma who has been feeling something wrong all the while, he realizes that a demon egg is missing. Yup, he counted them before and now he noticed it. He goes to save Ichika right before Roskva attacks her. Apparently the last demon egg was hatching inside her and the plan was to let Ichika attack and be devoured by the demon. Thanks, Takuma? Takuma is left to carry Ichika and run. Because she wants him to leave her here and return to the sisters, Takuma can’t do that. I figure it’s time for that cheesy make out scene in an attempt for desperate Takuma to power up Ichika. In this dire time, can anybody feel good?! Making out interrupted when Skuld and Roskva attack. No worries. Just run and then continue to make out in a safer place! I don’t even… Then a flashback when Odin asked Ichika if she has an ideal guy. Despite all her doubts and contradictions, she does have one. And that’s supposed to be the catalyst that activates her power? Yeah, love making successful. Not only Ichika has powered up to unbelievable levels, Takuma too has powered up as God! OMG! Does this uniform come with the package of becoming Einheijer?

Episode 12
With Ichika going on the offensive, I guess Natsuki has recovered well enough for this dramatic moment of flying towards Takuma, kissing in mid-air and voila! Transformed! Now we have 2 Valkyrie weapons on the battlefield. Skuld becomes agitate and tries to hasten the attack. The power up does break through the barrier and castle walls. Now that the fight is made public, a soul devouring demon tries to devour the public. Mind boggling Takuma manages to stop it just because of his stronger feelings to protect everyone with his soul? This effect also costs Skuld to lose formation with Roskva who is also weakening due to some illness. Ichika would have no mercy in killing her but with Takuma’s soul worn out as distraction, Skuld takes Roskva to escape. It seems this is just a decoy because Ullr and Garm have infiltrated the castle and stole Misteltein. Because Misa has been protecting the other sisters, Garm doesn’t want to leave empty handed and kills Misa. Sort of. Back home, weary Takuma is trying his best to heal Misa. However he cannot feel her soul. Speaking of which, it is floating in some limbo. Not sure how Takuma does it but he goes to rescue her! If only Takuma could continue to be such a manly man like this all this time… Misa returns to life, turning some of her sisters into big cry-babies. Shino for the first time introduces herself to Takuma. With the recent developments, looks like she will be vital as she is the strongest Valkyrie. I take it she has fully recovered? Back to normal life, finally Takuma has got top spot in his grade. It’s no surprise. Not only he burnt the midnight oil to study but he has hot babes living with him as distraction. Plus, he has to save the world! So do you not think he deserves being number one???!!! And for some strange reason, the timing of him declaring he loves the sisters could’ve been worse. Yup, he does it while they are changing clothes. WTF???!!! No wonder Natsuki gets mad. And of course we hear them think that they know he loves the sisters but eventually would choose only 1 as his lover. Ah, I hope this won’t be the start of the breaking up of the sisterly love all because of a love for a guy.

Fail x Laughable: The Fanservice Maidens
Uhm… That’s it? That is how it ends? So what’s the next plan for the Valkyries and Takuma to fight the malevolent gods? Heck, they didn’t even lay out any plans to take back Misteltein. I am going to assume this is the next plan so why is everyone still living with Takuma? Shouldn’t they go back to Asgard or whatever Skuld and co want to steal next? Oh right. There’s still Einheijer inside Takuma. Doesn’t seem to be all that important to Misteltein. Takuma finally declaring his general love for the sisters gives everyone an excuse to continue staying with him. Because Japan is way more fun that Asgard, right? You bet your money on it, it is. And the big guy who wins this lottery is Takuma. Top on his grades and gaining the hearts of the sisters. Sob, sob. I just love happy endings! ;p.

As you can already see for yourself, the plot itself is just laughable and absurd. It doesn’t really make sense if you think about it. No, seriously. Think really, really, really think hard about it. Odin sending his beautiful daughters to an ugly Japanese kid to prove that love will save the day?! Like, WTF???!!! No, seriously. I mean, really, like WHAT THE FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU???????!!!!!! Something feels so wrong. And like I’ve said somewhere in this blog of mine, he could have sent his son, Thor to just do the job but I guess he joined Avengers and saved the universe from a more dangerous threat in the name of Thanos. That is why Japan and the rest of the world still exist! Thor and the Avengers prevented Thanos’ snap!!! Takuma and the Valkyries are just side dishes, a smaller plot that the rest of the world and even a big part of Japan don’t really care about!

Hence everything tries to point towards the fanservice factor. The fanservice here also feels somewhat like they are shoehorned in. Veteran viewers like me just find it meh. Maybe amateur viewers who just started anime may find those hot babes stimulating. You’ve got the cheesiest and lamest of excuses for Takuma to make out with the Valkyries all in the name of levelling up their AP or whatever. Hence leading to these really weird fanservice scenes. Some of them steamy enough to look like porn scenes. If only somebody had a camera recording all this… Uh huh. It really makes Takuma look like engaging in some sort of amateur porn with the Valkyries. Wow. What a fall from grace. Odin’s daughter engaging in lewd stuffs…

I also find it very strange that in order for the Valkyries to actually level up, hence that is why they engaged in this pseudo sex act. I mean, holding hands for half an hour or taking private photo shoots for an hour? You mean it is that simple?! Like of all things, why these???!!! Yup, your lousy excuse to get steamy. Fanservice logic. I know there’s some explanation on why they have to do this and especially these sleazy-like acts but I wasn’t paying close attention. I was being appalled by all the fanservice. And also trying to enjoy it. Yeah, I’m just as guilty. Whatever. Still, it really doesn’t make sense to have these kinds of acts to level up the Valkyries. I mean, if you really, really, really, think hard about it. Yeah, who the f*ck decides on these pseudo sex acts anyway???!!! And if you fail them, no levelling up. Try again. Oh, an excuse to have more fanservice scenes next time if your Valkyries stay weak. I’m just waiting for the moment that they need to engage in real penetrative sex to power up. That would have been the ultimate power boost.

Thus the characters are in a sorry state and the only reason you care about them is to wonder how Takuma will sex them up. No, seriously. I believe Takuma’s case for being a gentle giant is a classic case of not judging a book by its cover. My guts tell me that he isn’t the best guy there is in Japan even considering his kindness and all. Therefore my conspiracy theory is that Odin got lazy in just picking the guy who will power up his daughters. I mean, he came all the way from the Norse side, all the way to Japan, hmmm, lemme see which guy to pick, eenie-meenie-miney-mo, aha! You ugly kid there. You are chosen to save the world and have the honour of f*cking my daughters while doing so! Haha! Yeah, that’s how I felt it all went. In addition, Takuma’s real character is a really meek wuss who is anxious around other humans. If Odin was in a hurry to save the world, could he at least have picked somebody not having this sort of anxiety? It inhibits the love making and in turn the levelling up of his daughters delayed. It’s a sorry excuse to have those embarrassing fanservice moments. Again and again. And that’s why the Valkyries remain so weak in even trying to defeat a single demon every time. And there are 9 of them! Oh Takuma, you better count your blessings because you are one hell of a lucky bastard to have 9 Norse women to be on standby as your lover! Uh huh. What a weird case of Beauties and the Beast, if I should say.

I suppose there is something amusing in watching Takuma being berated and a punching bag by the sisters. Is this some sort of running joke? Heck, even that stupid running joke of that Yamada guy who keeps jumping out of the nearest window whenever Takuma is around, was nowhere to be seen. I understand that Takuma has some sort of trauma and it is hard for him to just change. But from what I can see, it’s not like he is improving at all. He is still the same scared wimp, having low self-confidence in fear of things not turning out right. Only in such dire straits that he is able to do something. Dire straits AKA plot convenience. Only then he is able to draw out his Misteltein. This guy is one weird case of Dr Jekyll and Hyde.

The rest of the Valkyries fare no better and my guess is that there are 9 of them so that we can have a variety in fanservice. Can’t always be making out with Natsuki, right? Because of that, we don’t really care for them either. Sure, some of them got their back story to tell but I wasn’t really interested. My mind was already shut off. Just give me the fanservice. Heh. So anyway, the sisters do have their own personalities but it’s just the minimal. Like Ichika dotes on her sisters a lot that she feels like the tsundere of the bunch when she gets strict on Takuma. After all, somebody needs to get really harsh on him when many of the sisters are just too kind. Like Futaba who is playing the big sister or rather the mother of the group. And Misa, uhm, I think another sister role but she is more tomboy. Then there’s Itsuyo who has daddy complex and possibly the other tsundere. Mutsumi, I have this feeling she is a slut because from the way she feels the passion whenever doing stuffs with Takuma, it’s like she’s going into orgasm or something. She may be the horniest of all the Valkyries but her idol status prevents her from being a total slut. And my guts tell me Natsuki another tsundere is most likely the one who will end up with Takuma.

Not all the sisters Takuma makes out with. I guess MILF materials are okay in addition to those girls who are of his same age. But it’s a no-no for underage girls. Yup, being lolicons is against the law. This is why Takuma is never seen making out with Yakumo or Kukuri. Imagine this, Takuma making out with Yakumo or Kukuri. It would be super disturbing, I guarantee. Hence, they turn Kukuri into some sort of inventor genius because she creates a lot of stuffs for the sisters. Not to say her inventions are brilliant or anything. It’s just to give a reason why her character has to exist.

Now, my ‘favourite’ character among all the sisters is Yakumo. The way she despises Takuma somewhat also mirrors same kind of sentiments that I have for this series. Unlike Ichika who is just one big tsundere, there is a chance that Yakumo’s scorn for Takuma may be valid. She might not hate him 100% but just that she isn’t too enthusiastic about the circumstances that the sisters ended up in. Yeah, if I were her, I would feel the same way. We don’t know if she’s really a good poker face player but I believe that Yakumo is the one who is being the most realistic among the sisters. She knows this guy is useless and there is nothing she herself can do about it. What else? Just sigh and mock this wuss! Add to his trauma and anxiety! Oh yeah. In fact, Yakumo could have been the best character of the series had they not put those prettier and sexier triplets as the main girls. What a waste. Yakumo should have had more screen time to spout her cynical sarcasm.

If you have been counting, you realized that one of the sisters is ‘missing’. Well, not in that literal sense. I feel that Shino’s character is such a waste as she is stuck in the storeroom recuperating from whatever. Not that I care how she got injured in the first place. But to have her recover there and wearing some weird helmet that makes her look like some discount Goblin Slayer, it’s like why the heck do we need this character for? Sure, she did something to help Futaba during her fight against Skuld (albeit remotely from the storeroom) but at that point it was too late. Like does she even matter? Probably they don’t want to waste it because as you would have guessed, the sisters’ Japanese monikers are based on numbers and their seniority. They have their original Norse name but that would be too hard for many of us to pronounce or remember ;p. So when she finally shown herself in person, oh sister, you’re a little too late, don’t you think?

Skuld as the antagonist feels like a bratty kid trying to get what she wants. She too lacks a back story and it would have been a lot more interesting to know about her Norn sisters. It would have been better if this turned into some shonen style group fight. You know, Valkyries vs Norn sisters. Something like that. It would be interesting to see their side of the story too because Skuld isn’t as bad as the plot paints her to be. In her own way, she protects Roskva as much as her maid protects her. But for now, she looks like some rich imposing oujo-sama. Yeah, notice how she has Roskva that notes of what she says? Well, we better take note too that brats like her will never ever get her way. Especially if they are on the wrong side of the plot.

The action scenes are just mediocre. Because when you have a cheesy reason to have fanservice, what follows next is some cheesy battle to fight demons. That’s why they make out, right? Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. I suppose Takuma isn’t strong enough yet to power up all Valkyries to fight together. That is why only 1 of them can fight a demon at the same time. At the most, 2 of them. Anyway the fights aren’t memorable even though each of the Valkyries has their own special weapons and moves. Heck, they have trouble fighting off 1 demon already and they’ve been freaking lucky so far that the worst has not happened. So as not to let Natsuki hog all the action screen time, hence they rotate and some of the sisters have their share of the battle limelight. But Natsuki has been out of action for so long since the school festival and my guess is so as to give the other girls to shine. Not that it makes any difference whatsoever. Oi, Takuma! Are you sleeping on the job?! Even better, the Valkyries can form some barrier to limit the damage from the demons and let the fight take place within it. Hence not interrupting the ordinary lives of ordinary people who have no idea what the f*ck is going on. Oh yeah. So considerate. So convenient.

Art and animation feel pretty standard. Valkyrie girls looking a lot like cute Japanese anime girls even when they were young kids in Asgard. Takuma obviously being drawn to be ‘ugly and scary’ but he isn’t the worst looking kind of main character around. Worse, sometimes his chibi mode feels really weird. He is just some hollow outline with somewhat appalling looks on his face. Yeah, like as though this feels like his second form as he goes into this mode quite often. Among all the Valkyrie sisters, I feel Ichika looks the most cartoonish because of her big cartoonish eyes. Isn’t that why they ‘blacken out’ her eyes in the initial episodes when she was protecting her sisters from the shadows? The Valkyries’ uniform feels so military-like that I was wondering if this is Kantai Collection or the recent Azur Lane. And the demons they look pretty hideous, befitting their demonic nature but nothing that will give you sleepless nights and nightmares. This anime is produced by Hoods Entertainment who did weird fanservice shows like Nazo No Kanojo X, Seikon No Qwaser, Aki Sora, Hantsu x Trash and Manyuu Hikenchou. Okay, not entirely ecchi series as they also produced Drifters and 3D Kanojo Real Girl.

For the voice acting, perhaps the ‘best’ one goes to Yuuya Hirose as Takuma (Yuuta in SSSS.Gridman) because he really makes his character sound like a retard and wuss. Like as though at any moment he could just die from asphyxiation. Seriously. The only recognizable seiyuu is Rina Hidaka as Mutsumi because this is what happen when Last Order is in her slutty version. Seriously. The rest of the other characters are Kaede Hondo as Natsuki (titular character in Tejina-senpai), Ai Kakuma as Itsuyo (Rossweisse in High School DxD), Yumi Hara as Futaba (Albedo in Overlord), Ayaka Shimizu as Misa (Masaki in Sasameki Koto), Yumi Uchiyama as Ichika (Momiji in Binbougami Ga), Maki Kawase as Yakumo (Junko in Zombie Land Saga), Kotori Koiwai as Kukuri (Renge in Non Non Biyori), Rikako Aida as Shino (Riko in Love Live! Sunshine), Atsumi Tanezaki as Skuld (Chise in Mahou Tsukai No Yome), Mao Ichimichi as Roskva (Bada in ClassicaLoid), Daisuke Hirakawa as Garm (Makoto in School Days) and Misato Fuken as Ullr (Yami in To Love-Ru).

The opening theme is For… by Rikako Aida. Nothing special. Generic anime pop. The ending theme is Up-date x Please. If you are wondering why there are version numbers of the song that makes it look like some programme software update, if you’re sharp enough you would realize that the numbers correspondence to the seniority of the sisters. So ver 1.7.8 is sung by the trio of Ichika, Natsuki and Yakumo, ver 2.6.9 by Futaba, Mutsumi and Kukuri, and ver 3.4.5 by Misa, Shino and Itsuyo. Other than that, the song sounds robotic. I don’t think it’s a bad piece, just that it sounds one kind.

Overall, this is a poor series and a sorry excuse to adapt one with the lamest plot in the name of fanservice. Hot chicks with no character at all, levelling up via making love with the most unwanted (forever alone kind of) bachelor in Japan… Your what-the-f*ck-is-wrong-with-this-sh*t senses will be ringing like mad. Oh well, at least this isn’t another isekai series. Reverse isekai maybe. Goddesses from Asgard coming to our world and saving it (barely). I guess no matter how bad this plot sounds, perhaps it is much better than Odin himself coming down to the world and saving it via making out with somebody! HOLY SH*T!!! Don’t want that gay sh*t plot anytime! The world’s destruction would be accelerated if we are to make out with an old Norse God. He’s no Zeus but still… And that is why it goes to show that sometimes love still isn’t the fool proof answer that can save the world. But porn maybe could. And have a higher chance!

Nande Koko Ni Sensei Ga OVA

January 17, 2020

If you couldn’t get enough and want more of those students f*cking, uhm, I mean end up in very sexually ambiguous positions with their teachers, be glad to know that there is Nande Koko Ni Sensei Ga OVA for all those who managed to whip out a few bucks and pay for those uncensored tits of all your favourite sensei! I’m sure sensei still remembers you as a naughty boy…

A trip to adulthood…
It is after graduation where our quartet of pairs have booked a hotel for a pleasure trip. But upon arrival, the clerk says they didn’t have any reservations made and currently there are only 2 twin bed rooms. Can’t they just share? Because Tanaka-Tachibana and Hikari-Takashi pairs decide to go find somewhere else to stay. Tachibana knows a hotel where they can see the stars. However… That’s a love hotel!!! You bet Tanaka is panicking and even prostrates himself as a virgin and has no experience! After he goes to bathe, Tachibana is disappointed that the ‘stars’ is actually just some mini rotating ball device. Then she realizes this is a love hotel. Time for her to panic. Meanwhile Hikari and Takashi hole up at a manga café. Because Takashi is sleepy and only wants to sleep, Hikari overthinks that he wants to have sex with her. Her wild delusions cause her to just go to the bath and wash herself. Glad that this manga café is empty. Bet you that anybody would be shocked to see a sexy girl dressed so skimpy rushing out like that. Elsewhere, Satou and Kojima hear really ambiguous sounds next door. Yes. Really ambiguous talk that makes you think they’re actually getting it on. In actual fact, Suzuki is just giving Matsukaze a back massage. Feeling good? After hearing all that, are you not stimulated to make out too? Yup, Satou and Kojima get it going. Though, we just see them start with a kiss… Tanaka is shocked when Tachibana comes in to bath with him. I suppose she got this twisted misunderstanding of teaching him about sex. Yup, exposing all her parts to him. The school nurse teaching about sex ed. I want to sign up!!! Unfortunately she is so hot that Tanaka cums before anything else happens. Just foreplaying only, huh? Are we disappointed? In the end, they go to bed and Tanaka is beating himself up for being uncool. But Tachibana hugs him likes him for who he is. They accidentally kiss. She gives him motivation that they can try again next time if they fail. Hope they get it right the next time. Next day when all of them meet up, Tanaka’s happiness turns into sadness when Tachibana claims she is now feeling uncomfortable. She claims something inside her is making her feel not so good and the rest got the wrong idea…

Hot For Teacher…
Oh well. I guess that’s that. The ecchi and fanservice level feel mild compared to the TV series because the latter’s antics were just out of this world and outrageous. This OVA feels weak in comparison and makes it feel like this series ended on a weak finishing (I wanted to use the word flaccid but I feel it might be an insult to somebody…). Especially that last scene where everybody just meet up and that’s it. Uhm, that’s it, really? Alas, I feel that this OVA is mainly focused on Tanaka and Tachibana seeing that they get a lot of screen time compared to the rest that is just paltry. But all the teachers got their bare tits exposed equally so maybe that kept us all happy? So now that these guys have graduated high school, it is time to take the next challenge of becoming better lovers and graduating with flying colours. Perhaps the best part is that you don’t need to study those books and most of them are just hands on experience. Hey, like they say, if you fail, just do it again until you succeed!

Agent Aika

November 22, 2019

Yeah… I know what I’m getting into when I decided to go watch this retro OVA series, Agent Aika. Uh huh. Fanservice galore of the 90’s! Who cares about the profession of our titular character who is working as some Salvager to salvage lost items from the ocean’s deep. It’s just one of those excuse why our ladies need to don the swimsuit and parade in them around with their sexy curvaceous body. Who needs a plot when you can gawk and stare at all the cheesy fanservice, tits and ass shots and all because that’s the only thing that you’ll find focusing the most. Oh, there’s a plot? What plot?! Just stare at those asses and you can’t go wrong!

Episode 1
A tour guide has the tourist view the submerged Tokyo city. Also, there are lights beneath this underwater ghost town as Salvagers are working to salvage lost items. Among them is Aika Sumeragi and Rion Aida. As soon as they salvage a suitcase, it is snatched by bitter rivals, Gust Turbulence and B.A. Bandora. He wants Aika to date him if she wants her package. Of course she won’t date this rich playboy. Only an underground explosion stops their tussle. As Rion hands over the suitcase to the client, he will only pay half price since it is damaged. She would have beaten it up had not Gouzo, her boss-cum-father stop her. He tells her about the pride of being a Salvager but as a realist, Rion reminds him it doesn’t pay their bills. A client then calls him and for the umpteenth time, he turns him down on this dangerous mission. It’s not about the money. But Aika snatches the phone and will take up this job! Money > Pride. As they go meet the client, it seems Gust is also hired for this job. They are to retrieve data and/or sample of Lagu. The reward is very handsome. As they leave, they are ambushed by Nena Hagen and her hot chick goons. Of course Aika and Gust fight them off so Nena warns they are also after Lagu and to keep their noses out if they know what’s good for them. Naturally, Aika won’t listen and will still go ahead. Before she leaves, boss talks to her and it is hinted that Aika still feels responsible of putting him out of the game, that’s why she still worked under him. Though, he doesn’t hold any grudge against her. Damn, Aika flying some jet without any gear and can pilot it with her thighs?! Only in the air did she realize Rion snuck on board. You mean she didn’t even notice?! Rion throws a tantrum when Aika wants to turn back and not let her help on this mission. Until Gust zooms past her that Aika just doesn’t care anymore. Do what you wish. Nena and her team are on board some destroyer. Detecting those jets, she has her goons fire missiles. I guess they’re bad at aiming so Nena herself takes to the skies and shoots down Gust. Her brother, Rudolf Hagen has detected they are in the vicinity of Lagu and orders her to come back. As she is stubborn, she continues hunting Aika. I suppose it is Lagu’s weird waves that cause the jets to stop working. Nena ejects and Aika’s plane must be so old it has no eject seat. Nosedive! Hence her weird outfit automatically activates. WTF this weird tentacle rape transformation scene turning Aika into some hot tropical island chick to better pilot and land the jet! Wow. Super. Once on the island, Aika and Hagen’s eyes come into contact. So close…

Episode 2
Nena tries to act tough and beat up Aika but gets her ass handed to her instead. She wanted to get revenge but Hagen takes a liking for Aika and welcomes her on board. He tells his sister to go find Lagu instead. So this sphere thingy is Lagu? Hagen explains to Aika that it has some sort of power that caused that world catastrophe 20 years ago. Earthquakes and volcanoes and the likes. Many cities destroyed. You could say that Japan was one its victims. He then shows Aika a laser beam using Lagu’s power that disintegrates metal into nothing. Though this is just a military toy, he believes Lagu has more potential than this. One of them being restoration of Earth. Hence Lagu is like the vaccine to rid of the infection that is humans. Now that he has Lagu, he couldn’t care less about his military colleagues and wants to move on to his next stage of research. He wants Aika to join him. Uhm, I don’t think the right way to convince a woman to join you is to molest her body! Aika is not interested in anything except Lagu’s data. He gives her some time to think but in the meantime he goes to have incest with Nena?! She is jealous of Aika and wants to kill him but I guess she loves him too much to do that. Meanwhile Gus sneaks in to rescue Aika. Thanks to all the useless goons, he easily incapacitates them. All of them. Yeah, they’re so incompetent that they left ‘unconscious’ Rion alone when their shift is over! So Rion can sneak around in their clothes and eavesdrop some juicy details. Then she stumbles into a strange girl, Maypia Alexymetalia. She might be a spy because she sneaks into some restricted area to take pictures. They are caught by a guard but thanks to the alert being sounded, they use this excuse to ‘return to their post’. During the commotion, Nena is so angry she trashes her room while drunk? So now Hagen is going to have sex with Aika? Sex in exchange for the data?! Yeah, he’s interested in her outfit too that has this rare Ultranate Metal. Sex interrupted when Gus comes in to rescue her. It’s not what you think but thanks to his timing, she manages to steal the data and escape with Gus. Outside, the guards corner her. Drunk Nena wants to take it all out on her. When Gus tries to protect Aika, Aika instead protects him. She got stabbed in the shoulder. This activates her suit and super Aika now tentacle whips everybody! Hagen is amazed seeing all this so he fires some beam at her to neutralize it and revert Aika back to normal. He wants Aika retrieved. You can kill the man.

Episode 3
Amazingly Bandora flies in. You don’t think your puny semi-autos can take it down, huh? Gust takes Aika and escape in the jet. Meanwhile Rion follows Maypia and learns she is some super spy. Yeah, here comes the teasing of how a spy has a business card! Crawling through the ventilation, they arrive at the Lagu reactor that serves as the ship’s main power source. Aika wakes up from this dream of some explosive action with Gouzo. Too dark and blur to make things out but she activated her suit. She realizes Rion is left behind and wants to go rescue her. In that weak condition? Gust relents but after she gets her strength back. And man, that was fast because Bandora is taking them there. Also, Hagen has created some pantsu based on Ultranate and is supposed to be a lot more times powerful. Gee, so fast? He wants Nena to wear them. Since the military threatens to use force to take Lagu from Hagen, I suppose they don’t know what he can do, huh? So Hagen proclaims to his crew that they will soon take off to the skies and use Lagu to purify Earth. He maintains nothing will be destroyed in this operation. But first, take down those pesky military ships. Uh huh. After destroying the main ship, other ships flee. Now you see the power of Lagu? And Maypia is frustrated her higher ups have abandoned her because it’s her mission to destroy this reactor. So as the submarine prepares to turn into a rocket and take off, Maypia opens the hatch so she can escape (you mean main control can’t close it and Nena have to go down herself?). Sorry, Rion. This jetpack is only single seat. But Rion holds onto her until Maypia crashes outside somewhere! Then Rion gets arrested by the hot chicks. At the same time, here comes Bandora’s jet carrying Aika and Gust. I don’t even know how this is possible that the duo drop in despite all the turbulence. Unfortunately Gust is blown away while Aika manages to sneak in before the hatch closes. The rocket takes off and destroys Bandora’s jet but not before she ejects. Good to know that Gust and Maypia are still alive stranded on the island below. Aika is now in but is suddenly strangled by… Pantsu tentacles?! Is this Nena’s Ultranate?! Damn, why does Nena like a discount version of Rutian Twi’lek Jedi Master, Aayla Secura?!

Episode 4
Gouzo manages to convince his employer to lend a shuttle so they can go up and rescue Aika. Hagen explains to Rion about his plan to beam Lagu down and activate earthquakes and destroy civilization. This ship is like Noah’s Ark and has DNA of all other life forms. Yeah, in addition to replenishing other life on this planet, Hagen is going to have his utopia paradise. No wonder all his crew are hot chicks only. Rion will not have a part in his perverted plan and is taken away. Aika manages to distract Nena and run away. Luckily she bumps into Rion but their reunion is short-lived as Nena is back to beat them up. This causes Aika’s Ultranate to activate as she transforms before Rion’s eyes. Aika laments she doesn’t want to see her in this form. However Rion is ecstatic with this transformation. It’s like anime! Then the Ultranate babes slug it out. With Bandora managing to dock onto the rocket, Gust places bombs everywhere while Gouzo has Maypia guide him around the ship. The more Nena gets desperate to defeat Aika, suddenly her Ultranate goes out of control and she starts melting. Ugh. Gross. I suppose no humans are supposed to withstand the fusion with Ultranate, huh? Hagen manages to neutralize Aika and narrates about some research into this Ultranate. It could have been the perfect weapon had not it claimed the lives of many researchers. It is rumoured that Aika is the only survivor but that data was lost during the great disaster. Now that Nena is of no use to him, he wants Aika to work on his behalf. Damn, this guy got the guts to kiss her?! Got too close that the Ultranate stabs him! Just desserts when Nena clings on to him and won’t let him go. Eventually fusing and absorbing him as one. With the Lagu reactor going out of control, you bet the mission is a failure. Don’t want hot chicks to go down with the ship now that their captain is done for, huh? Abandon ship! With our heroes meeting up just in time and escape right before the rocket explodes. Phew. Humanity is saved.

Episode 5
I guess the salvaging business is doing great that Gouzo hired another staff, Shuntaro Michikusa. Also, to appreciate their contribution, Gouzo has them stay at an island resort. Of course on this resort are also ex-Hagen babes (collectively known as Delmo). One of them doing a total makeover as a man. Pierre Valimore bumps into Aika and charms her way into Aika’s heart. Rion is jealous but there is nothing she can do. While Pierre takes Aika out on a date, the other Delmo babes kidnap Rion and Michikusa. Damn, Aika must be an easy woman to end up kissing Pierre! Finally going back to the hotel, Pierre drugs her drunk and brings her back to his room. Unfortunately no naughty time because Aika realizes the other Delmo babes surrounding her. Led by Bianca, they are here for revenge and killing her won’t be enough. They want to humiliate her. Isn’t that too much revelation for a bad guy? Yeah, villain fail 101. And Aika realizes Pierre is a woman, Valerie. First, they toss Rion and Michikusa into the pool to drown them to make Aika in despair. But Aika surprises them and jumps down several levels to save them and also beat up those lowly babes. Nothing like pool water to sober you up, huh? Then some weird chase throughout the resort begins. Aika has her fast rematch with Valerie. Why she gets knocked out so easily? I guess this means she gets to fight Bianca. But the fight too doesn’t last long as sore loser Bianca calls for air support. Uhm, more like armoured tanks being dropped? WTF?! Damn, can armoured tanks run rampant around the resort? I guess one of them being dumb enough for Aika to hijack. Damn they’re blowing up the resort like nobody’s business! And then Aika has a sneaky trick that has Bianca shoot directly at her. Wow. You mean Aika didn’t die from the explosion? So when Bianca gets close and let her guard down, surprise mother*cker! One hard kick to the guts to knock her out. And as soon dawn arrives, Aika and co leave the island. It’s not over yet as those Delmo chicks have yet another operation in hand.

Episode 6
Wow. The enemies talking about the need to gather data on Aika so they can defeat her. A good idea. But I’m worried about the execution… And so we see a couple of Delmo girls in disguise seeking Gouzo’s request for a salvaging mission. They heard Aika is the best in the field and they require her. So it’s off to some cold land, presumably Russia? The modified jet Aika will use for the probe is currently being piloted by a young girl, Rie Petroyikowa. So to see if Aika is fit to the task, Rie does a lot of physical examinations on her including Twister while being taken pictures in sexy compromising positions. Damn, Aika must be a fool to think there isn’t something wrong with this. Rion is so jealous about this but her hunch might be right when she starts pulling the skirt of one of the staffs. This leads to her discovering they are Delmo babes in disguise. Yeah, WTF are they wearing their uniform underneath those clothes?! So when she goes to spill the beans to Aika, cue for Rie to admit everything and also spill the beans they want her data. Villain fail 101 again. Rie now needs data on Aika’s fighting skills so she sets some of the Delmo girls to go fight her. Of course you can tell Aika will easily despatch those goons. They’re so useless that Gouzo despite being drunk and singing karaoke, they can’t even hit him while he hits them back in his drunken stupor! I don’t even think this is drunken fist! More villainy fails when Rie shows some of the recorded intimate moments of probing inside Aika. WTF?! Shoot the screen! Rie fights Aika and claims she has studied her moves. Yeah, didn’t see this choker move coming, huh? Then it boils down to chasing after the data. Yeah, all saved in this precious diskette! Rie runs to the Commander to give the data. Along the way, Aika takes out more Delmo girls until she arrives at the final big boss. So why are they doing this? So now that Hagen is gone, they have no reason to exist and this is so called pride? So they don’t have a life? I just don’t get it… Anyway, more Aika acrobats and high kicks to knock them out. Not even the Commander stand a chance. Oddly, Rie who was fighting her a while ago is now cowering in fear? I guess mission complete when Aika destroys the diskette. As they leave via jet, Rie is not done yet. WTF she brings out this SAM artillery right in the middle of the runway to shoot them????!!! Not sure what Aika did to disable her HUDs and Gouzo shooting some blunt object at her, this knocks her out as she misfires and destroys some other jet. Sleep tight, Rie. And the rest take off back home. What a weird misadventure…

Episode 7
Gouzo talks to Rion about her future. He doesn’t want her to continue this salvaging business but she insists she wants to. Meanwhile Aika is working hard back at the office but suddenly a power outage! Should have saved those 4 hours of work! Of course this isn’t just an accident. Freddy Krueger Delmo babe is trying to kill her! Damn, they really wreck the place. When Gouzo and Rion return, the enemy is just about to escape. WTF Rion standing in the middle of the road?! Gouzo pushes her away and gets run over! OMG! Worse, since when did they plant bombs around the office and boom!!! Entire building collapses! You mean this isn’t anything serious because after the fireman and ambulance, next day no police to cordon off the freaking area???!!! And why are the other buildings unaffected?! Where are all the other people?! So you can’t blame Michikusa for coming to work and suddenly no office. Yeah, Rion sifting through the rubble to find Aika. Only her earring. Damn, this girl wants revenge and drags Michikusa into her scheme. I don’t even know how Gust knows Aika is dead and is crying his heart out. Bumping into Rion, she wants his help in this revenge plan but Bandora says some pretty good advice that she shouldn’t be doing this to make Gouzo sadder (he’s hospitalized, you know). What does Gust have to say? He’ll help Rion in her revenge plan! You’re on your own. Bandora’s out. But where do they start? It seems Michikusa knows a former super spy… Yup. Maypia! How the heck does he know her? I don’t think they’re dating. With Delmo’s base located in some rocky island, our revenge team heads there only to be intercepted. Yeah… Stupid enemies didn’t even make sure they’re dead so nature washes them up nicely on shore as they get their revenge plan going by stealing some weapons and then run havoc throughout the base! Eventually they face off with Bianca and Rie but the duo let them handle Sania and Tonia (that Freddy Krueger girl). All of them got owned. Before they could be killed, cue for Aika in her Ultranate version to the rescue! Yeah, didn’t think she was dead, huh? Besides, she has been running wild too throughout the base. She beats up those Delmo girls and before you could say boss fight with Commander, shockingly she is not going to fight Aika. Heck, she doesn’t want her comrades to be further injured and calls off this operation. It’s about time she realizes that! But oh no! What will they exist for? Who knows… Anyway, everybody agrees to abandon base and never come into contact with Aika again. Gee, that was easy and so anti-climactic. Why must the base self-destruct? In the aftermath, we see our usuals continue to go about their salvaging job. Life goes on.

Special
Sometimes dubbed episode 4.5, this short takes place around the time Gouzo’s company moved into their new building. Aika is moving the boxes and hopes Rion can help but she insists to let the new recruit do it. Well, that guy seems to be busy taking photos with high school girls who think he is hot! Until Rion kicks his ass, a signal for those girls to get the heck out of here! Rion really wants to do a promo video for the company. It’ll bring in the money too. However Michikusa spoils it that they don’t have the capacity to handle it so Rion beats him up. Uhm, did becoming a punching bag is part of his job description? Because as Rion continues to explain how to promo video would look like (fighting terrorists?) and Michikusa commenting how it is so spy-ish, once more she beats him up. Rion continues to dream to be a super agent like Aika. Imagine Rion in skimpy sexy outfit and doing all those kung fu chops. Yeah… When Gouzo returns, Rion bugs dad to do a promotional video. He agrees. Hooray! However… A promo video needs a song. See where this is going? Yup, looks like he just wants to sing. And a duet with Aika! I guess we’re not getting the promo video Rion wants.

Aika R-16: Virgin Mission

10 years later, a prequel spinoff OVA, Aika R-1: Virgin Mission was released with some few changes. But the same ol’ panty and crotch shots remain the same and bountiful.

Episode 1
Aika has gotten her C-licence as a Salvager. Gouzo doesn’t seem pleased on how she got the licence with that skills. So, uhm, feel it with your ass? Since when he is a dirty old pervert? We take a peek at Aika’s school life. Well, despite living in the dorm right across the school, she manages to always come in late. For the 30th day in a row! Hence teacher, Nagisa Risako reprimands her to clean all school windows. Aika later realizes her posters of offering her Salvager services are being torn down by class rep, Eri Shinkai and her goons. Don’t want that kind of cheap service to ruin the class’ reputation, huh? Yeah, they argue till Risako had to remind them they’re already late for class! Is this going on their permanent records? Later Eri brings Aika to her treasure hunting club in which she is a president. I guess rich girls have weird tastes of art, huh? Tempting Aika to pilot some mini sub she likes, so what’s the catch for this mission? I guess everybody gets the wrong idea when Eri starts stripping the top of Karen Minamino. This isn’t a club about starring at boobs! Look closer! At her boobs? No! There’s a butterfly mark on her boobs! Looking even closer, the mark is made out of numbers and based on some deduction Eri did, it leads to an encryption that spells out, “The gate of truth will be opened by the sleeping butterfly” accompanied by coordinates. So we’re assuming there is going to be some treasure here so it’s treasure hunting time.

Taking a cruise ship there, Captain points out a ‘problem’. Gust, the young butler has trouble serving Risako because she’s so sexy at every turn, he has boners all the time. Yeah… Apparently Risako is the advisor for this club so you bet she’s tagging along. Captain discusses with Eri that the coordinates of this location is very dangerous. Something like the Bermuda Triangle. But Eri equates danger with the romance of adventure and loves it. Captain reminds her he has a job as instructed by her father to keep her safe. If it gets too dangerous, they’ll turn back. Later Aika asks Eri how she found out about Karen. So basically she got curious of a lonely girl living alone and stalked her? Meanwhile several girls are being knocked out and hypnotized by Risako. Some of them try to take out Aika and Eri but luckily they manage to dodge the tranquilizers fast enough and Aika knocking them out. So this device in their ass is what’s making them like obeying zombies? Risako has tranquilized Karen and is trying to kidnap her. Captain stalls her before she gets away in her helicopter, enough time for Aika to come rescue Karen. She is shocked that Risako is doing this so sensei tells her today’s lesson that she should be sceptical of other people. Then they just let her get away? I guess she didn’t get Karen so that’s okay? Captain wants Eri to call off this mission but she is excited to carry on. She loves the danger of where this adventure is heading. She threatens to fire him if he abandons this mission. Captain hopes Aika could say something to her but unfortunately, she is hired by Eri. She’s the boss. She calls the shots.

Episode 2
Risako reports back to her boss about her failure. However he isn’t panicking yet because Karen has friends who would also protect her. So I’m guessing there’ll be another chance. Meanwhile… Naked girls baring their ass?! Is this the way to examine the mind controlling device? Karen somehow knows it will disappear within 2-3 days and will leave no mark. It’s just her guts saying. And now for the much awaited beach episode. Sexy young girls in swimsuits having fun while the guys do all the work surveying the ocean floor… I’m okay with this! Soon, one by one the girls start dropping like flies. Looks like Risako is here to cause trouble. Only Aika, Karen and Gust remain conscious. After using Gust as distraction to take out the sniper, Risako despatches her sexy hot babes to fight Aika. She manages to get by with the help of Karen’s lousy golfing. Aika then faces off with Risako who tells her there are some things that should be kept a secret and never revealed. Not that Aika would listen to her anyway. Both ladies fight and Risako has the overwhelming edge. Had not Karen help out with that grilled lobster distraction, Aika wouldn’t have the chance to fight back and land her high kick on her. Risako is tied up and because she won’t talk, Karen shoots her! Oh, just tranquilized her. Karen knows there are transmitters in Risako’s bikini and rips them out. She talks through it and knows who is behind this. It seems Karen knows she doesn’t remember much of her past. She wants to regain her full memories and discover who she really is so that she can take control of her future. Now that it’s time to head to the ocean floor, I guess Eri’s clubmates are still out cold so they can’t go. Yeah, they even took in Risako’s hot babes. So many naked women on this ship! Damn, the guys must be really guy because their resistance game is strong! Anyway, Aika now manages to pilot the mini sub as Eri and Karen join her as they submerge deeper towards the ocean floor.

Episode 3
There are runway airport lights down there? I understand if this is some submerged city but the lights are still working?! Anyway, Karen knows where to go. Just follow the green lights! This leads them to the lowest level. A huge warehouse-like area. Aika tries to be careful but Eri and Karen are like touching and activating things on their own. Gee, the lights and electronics of this place are still working so well? Aika is shocked that Eri knows he way around because all of it was described on Karen’s map. Sure, that doesn’t mean she’s a pro since this is her first time down here! With Aika arguing with her for the details, better catch up with Karen or she’ll leave you behind. Then they talk about some legend about a meteor carrying alien life form crashing onto Earth. The life form implanted themselves into humans and as a result, infected ones became very intellectual but regressed in the physical areas. Arriving at a huge door, they notice the pattern similar as the mind control devices of those girls’ asses. So if you have forgotten that sleeping butterfly key, here it is. Karen lets Eri tranquilize her and once she is undressed, she is placed in a chamber in which the scanner scans her entire naked body. Since it is a perfect match, the door opens. Great. An even bigger place with many pods. Nothing like checking out the convenient computer next to it. So I guess this is where that alien life form comes into the picture. They discover clone cells and that this place is researching those intellectual alien cells in hopes of cultivating them so that humans could be able to develop. Hooray! Your discovery of the century! Then they gets spooked when Karen suddenly pops up before them. Not just 1 Karen but many Karens! Yeah, they’re all clones. I suppose they’re not the friendly kind as they start attacking. Aika goes into action knocking them out. Finally a really huge Karen! Titan Karen?! I don’t think it is affective trying to fight it but at least something has to be done. Aika gets knocked out and before she could be squished, the real Karen wakes up and ‘communicates’ with it. With the clones backing down, Karen learns the shocking truth that she is also a clone and ‘born’ here. I guess there’s nothing left to discover and it’s time to head back home. After they leave, the clones return to their slumber. Finally all the runway lights are turned off. Back on the ship, Karen is sad that her memories weren’t real. Aika and Eri cheer her up that they can make new memories together. Lots of them.

Aika Zero

Episode 1
We see a girl stumbling upon an alien ship underground. Then she gets tentacle raped! Tentacles in the form of light beams?! A year later, we see a group of girls being ushered into a chapel and then being groped by girls in white. Is this chapel just a façade for some lesbian club? After liking their boobs, thighs and asses, that tentacle beam then infiltrates their asses!!! I can see why nobody can stay awake after that. Then they hear a plane hovering over. It is Aika piloting it but something hit her. Luckily she manages to land without any trouble. That dent on the body, I suppose a bird can’t make that, right? Meanwhile the army tasks some officer (Hagen?!) to investigate some UFO hitting a civilian plane. Aika is reunited with Eri, Karen and Risako. It seems Eri has once more hired Aika for another case. This time the case of disappearing high school girls. It started a year ago and it has claimed its 30th victim. Although the girls are returned, they lose their memories. Part of the plan is for Aika to wear their uniform and infiltrate. Upon entering, those girls in white start their usual lesbian stuff. Aika runs away but not before she drops that eraser that serves as a mini surveillance bug. However soon after, it stops functioning. Don’t tell me Aika has to go back and get molested again?! We’ll think of something… As Aika and Karen walk by, a group of drama girls suddenly attack them. Nothing like a few good chops to put them out, eh? And then entering the chapel again, the girls in white attack but still no match for Aika. If you’re wondering why Karen has been examining their asses, oh look, here’s a strange mark! It seems all the girls have this mark near their ass. Even more so those in white. They are White Knights, supposedly the student council body. Aika goes deeper into the chapel to find the missing girls all hanging upside down! Is this some sort of exhibition? She comes face to face with the student council president and ring leader, Miyu Shiratori. This time Aika can’t defeat her tentacle beams and is in danger of being raped too but luckily Captain snipes! So those aren’t lights? In great timing, Risako jumps in and rescues Aika. Then she throws the eraser thingy which also has a mini self-destruct mode to distract Miyu. Best coordination ever as Risako jumps out and hangs on the helicopter piloted by Gouzo.

Episode 2
Aika wakes up fine in hospital. No serious physical damage. But maybe internally because she isn’t going to sleep and wakes up and strips! In the presence of Gouzo?! I guess to show that she’s still kicking. WTF?! Flashback shows Miyu first stumbled upon that light in the library that soon led her to that underground ship. After she got controlled, she started toppling top students in athletics and academics. Then she gathered them and a few more students to form the White Knights as the student council. It seems Miyu is doing this all for the real mastermind behind this, E.T.A.I. Sure they didn’t misspell H.E.N.T.A.I.? Anyway that ass sucking thingy is so that E.T.A.I. can suck whatever nutrients for whatever. Because the military is also in this, damn they prop up Aika’s plane with machine gun?! They also lend a few cool equipment?! What kind of military is this?! As Aika takes the plane for a spin, then something hits her. Luckily she manages to control and emergency land at a broken road near the cliff! Phew. So precise. At the same time, Karen infiltrates the chapel but it seems everything has been moved out clean. Yup, even Captain’s sniper marks are gone. Of course the next logic is to check if there is any underground passages. Meanwhile the tentacle beam is now targeting naked girls in the shower. Yup, there’s a hole that leads to their base and Aika just in the nick of time saw the last girl being dragged down this hidden hole. Time to get to the bottom of this. So she brought a sub-machine gun as her only preparation? Whatever. Of course she is being attacked by White Knights but nothing like a few kung fu chops would knock them out. Meanwhile Karen is also attacked by a White Knight but luckily Risako is here to assist. After despatching her, they then discover the secret passageway underground. Aika stumbles upon the huge alien ship. But first she has to tackle Miyu and her subordinates. Unfortunately E.T.A.I. got her from behind. And surprise butt secks!!!!!

Episode 3
Oh! Aika can resist the behind infiltration?! What’s this about her being Zero? Hence E.T.A.I. enforces a more direct infiltration! This is going to hurt! But wait! It backfires! It burns her tentacles! I guess they’re not messing with her anymore. Letting the goons handle her, Miyu and E.T.A.I. go to start up the mother ship. So it has enough juice now? E.T.A.I. explains about Aika being Zero. A similar extra-terrestrial organism like them but it is not their ally but enemy because of its twisted evolution. Whatever. After despatching the subordinates, Aika meets up with Karen’s side. How to get this door open? Use the ass! Is that what the mark is for?! They see all the unconscious kidnapped girls. Mission over once they’re rescued, right? Well, not if the ship is starting to launch right now! As Aika makes haste to the surface, she is stopped by Miyu and E.T.A.I. She fights them and this ridiculous part, when Miyu fires a beam at her, Aika grabs and throws it back to her. However E.T.A.I. protects Miyu and gets the returned beam struck right into her ass!!!! THIS GOTTA HURT LIKE HELL!!!! I don’t know if E.T.A.I. is dead but Aika is now free to ride her plane (all readied by Gouzo) to take to the skies and stop the mother ship. She empties her bullets on a single thruster and this is enough to make it change its trajectory???!!! Better still, F-15 reinforcements are here. About 20 of them!!! Fire away!!! Wow. Gotta be dumbfounded how human missile technology could really take down an entire huge spaceship!!! Oh no! Is it going to crash onto the school below?! Don’t worry. It explodes in the air. Phew. And to complete the good news, Aika returns to her gang waiting down below. Meanwhile Nena who is a student at this academy, secures Miyu and E.T.A.I. She reports to her brother who has also finished his successful military operation.

God Bless Dat Masses Of Asses!
Oh well, what a mess. But did you enjoy all that? Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks to all the fanservice, I guess that is why the OVAs are decent. Oh wait. Is that supposed to be indecent? But it makes viewing tolerable in otherwise would be an utterly boring story that doesn’t make sense and characters whom you’ll never care. Thank goodness for the fanservice, huh? Yeah. Aika and co might have somewhat saved the world but the fanservice saved our viewing! It was all worth it…

So yeah, despite the overwhelming fanservice that this series is pretty (in)famous for, sometimes you wonder if they are really overdoing it. I mean, really, really, really, overdoing it. Ass shots and crotch shots make up predominantly the fanservice of this series. It is like for everything these characters do, they usually end up in a way that bares their ass or crotch in our faces. So much so that it is ridiculous to see that whenever a female enemy gets knocked out (which is pretty much easy to do), they don’t usually fall flat on their back or stomach but will get knocked out with their knees upright so that their ass can be so obviously visible. And if they don’t get this treatment but get knocked out cold on their backs or stomach, they’re spreading their thighs as wide as they can so you could see better the delicious parts. Basically almost everything and anything the characters do is to justify the means of fanservice. Is this what you call the means justifying the ends? That is why all the females need to do their high kicks or kung fu kicks whenever they get into a fight. That is why all the girls need to wear mini skirts so short that they’re not wearing any of them at all! It seems in this universe, mini skirts are the only normal clothes that these girls can wear for all occasions. Even more mind boggling when unconscious girls who are rescued instead of putting them lie flat on their back, they are put on their stomachs on something like as though they are futons being hung out to dry! The ultimate ass display! Like, WTF?!

And somehow even though we get all those delicious ass shots and crotch shots, nothing says great uniformity when all the characters wear the same plain white panties!!! Sure, sometimes a few characters wear different lingerie like Nena who feels like a porn star in waiting when she first debut. My guess is that having plain white pantsu is easier to animate and think about how much work the animators will have to do just so that we could have different colours and design! But I’m sure they could because the power of boners would give them the motivation. But that would be another unrelated story. So I guess we have to be grateful. We got our fanservice wish. Spammed a whole lot of them. Included certain scenes of characters with bare tits. Don’t be a spoilt brat and wish for more. Don’t be that jerk who gets an inch but wants a mile.

Having said all that, the story is secondary and at most so mediocre that it doesn’t make sense. There are also so many gaps, holes and parts that are unexplained that sometimes maybe the producers want us to fill in the blanks ourselves. This is mostly in the newer Aika where some issues were never resolved like Karen and her clones. So why is that underwater base still running those clones? What about that mysterious employer who is trying to stop Karen? Never explained anywhere in the series but my guess is that he is the scientist who did the cloning based on the image of his deceased daughter or something. So Karen is then allowed to live freely? I guess with Risako and Captain watching, no biggies.

Then in Aika Zero, why does the alien ship need the nutrients of sexy young high school girls to fuel it? I believe it is never explained and even if it was, I guess we were paying attention to the fanservice more than anything else. But I’m pretty sure all this wasn’t explained at all. And how the f*ck did a freaking huge alien mother ship crashed beneath a school?! Without any traces whatsoever! Don’t tell me it was aeons ago and because high school girls weren’t invented yet, I guess they had to wait till today to suck out their sexiness. Told you the stories and conspiracy theories are dumb. Told you that you’d be better off focusing on the fanservice.

The original Aika’s story wasn’t as mind boggling as the newer one but even though it is simple, it is still cheesy. Because it never explained about that Ultranate thingy that possessed Aika or how she got her hands on it. But considering how it is hinted in Aika Zero that Aika could be an alien life form herself, that could be the link but still, that is just superficial and nothing conclusive. I guess many shows from the past needs us to use our grey matter to think rather than nowadays to be spoon fed and told just about everything. Sighs…

Character wise, there’s nothing much to be said except I thought the newer Aika was supposed to be a reboot or something but after finishing watching this series and doing a little read up, I only found out that they are actually the same Aika and not different alternate timelines. Which feels pretty odd because it felt like it missed out that great disaster thingy that supposedly Aika and Gouzo caught up in. But that could be somewhere in between the 10 year span of Aika’s character. Anyway, both Aika feel like totally different characters with the older Aika feeling somewhat mellow, cool and quite the grown up she is unlike the high school and university teen version who is so, uhm, like a teenager. It’s mind boggling to see who Aika transition to that kind of character. I guess all the dangerous missions has made her wise, huh? No wonder she is the best agent around then.

This strange continuity also affects this Gust character because if he was such a rich playboy in the original Aika, then why the f*ck was he some sort of butler serving Eri’s classmates in the newer Aika? I mean, even if he is a rich kid trying to get some experience, doing this kind of job? This boy? Just totally weird. He is supposed to be the hero hunk for adult Aika but I guess he didn’t do anything much. I guess that’s why as a butler kid he serves as a mini comic relief in some ways.

Then you have Rion and Eri as the overly excited characters because passion drives them. If Aika is too serious, then I suppose these jokers will do. Karen is the weird girl of the series because she does unconventional things that makes you question why she does so but she does have her logic. I mean, like she’s not a pervert when she’s checking those asses out, right?! Many of the other characters are just forgettable like Maypia you wonder why she is in this series in the first place and her character is a whole lot unnecessary except to serve as plot convenience. Yeah, she’s a super spy but that doesn’t mean she’s a good one. Then you have Michikusa who sounds like a retard with his slow talk and he becomes Rion’s punching bag whenever she doesn’t like his truthful and honest comments. Also, they need some sort of gay character because this guy likes to dress up as girls especially when they infiltrate Delmo’s base, he doesn’t hesitate to put on their uniform and even ask if he looks good in them. Sheesh.

And the antagonists are also big fails. Just because they are the bad guys, they are doomed to follow the script to lose. Like Hagen and Nena in the original Aika, their goal to destroy humanity could have been written and fleshed out better but instead Hagen looks like some girly playboy who wants a harem in his aftermath utopia. Because of his great girly looks that’s why there is a mind boggling amount of ladies who have no qualms working under him. I wonder if he has a no male policy too. And Nena turned into one jealous b*tch who is just out for Aika’s blood just because she got Hagen’s heart. And she can’t kill her onii-sama because he loves him too much so the only thing she can do is take it out on Aika. Which she always fails. Good riddance the siblings are forever together now, huh? Literally.

And the Delmo girls literally have no life after Hagen’s death and it’s like they blame it all on Aika. Uh huh. Their only purpose is to serve Hagen and if you think about it, what happens if they do actually succeed in killing Aika? Are they going to kill themselves? Yeah, didn’t think that far, huh? See, they’re doing just fine after getting their ass kicked so many times and Commander just gave them a simple withdrawal order. SO EASY! If I was one of the Delmo girls, I would be wondering what the heck the suffering we all just went through and would’ve now targeted her and kicked her ass! Ironically they have the best facilities all over and yet they fail to capitalize them… And yeah, this reminds me of how old I am and how much times have changed: The diskette!!! Oh yeah, that was really the thing that would have broken Aika. But thankfully no internet yet. Phew!

And it goes without saying in the newer Aika, Miyu and E.T.A.I. continue to fail as baddies. Somebody just thought that zapping beams to control the spinal cord would be sexy if done via the ass. And only girls with hot bodies will do as fuel. Yeah, do you not notice there are no fat and ugly girls at this school? And they would have gotten with it if not for that meddling Aika! Thankfully their fates are not left in limbo because in the credits we see them working under Hagen and Nena. But since they didn’t appear in the original, your guess is as good as mine what actually happened to them. I also wonder if all the alien ass zapping moments on those innocent girls is what drove Hagen to have an all-female crew. Sure, he didn’t see those rape moments but I’m guessing from the interrogation that he must have found out something of this likes.

The action bits are totally dumbfounding and like I’ve said before, they are just steps to provide the much needed fanservice. I know it is good that fights don’t last and span several episodes but it makes you wonder if these girls who are supposed to be trained in the first place are really trained. Because one good chop to the back of the neck is usually how Aika finishes them off and they’ll be out for a long time. And all those flash kicks are just for show, huh? And I swear that gravity and the law of physics don’t truly exist here. Our girls can jump so high and with ease doing their somersaults like as though gravity is in cohorts with the fanservice god so that they could show their pantsu. You also don’t have to worry about the girls using guns. They’re mostly tranquilizers. Don’t want to damage the nice skin, eh? Yeah, this is also how a lot of the girls are being taken out.

Art and animation feel pretty okay. At least the difference in animation style shows the gap and era of when both the series was made. Original Aika was so retro that it’s, uhm, so retro. And the newer Aika is so 2000’s that it’s so, uhm, 2000’s. Sure, some characters do undergo a different look especially I noticed Hagen looking very different in both series. Sort of. Because in the newer Aika, Hagen spots this bishonen look. Then if you look back at the original Aika, damn this guy has a girly face!!! WTF?! What happened?! Then Bandora… I don’t know if this person is actually a combination of a man, woman and cyborg. Punk Mohawk hairstyle surely makes me think he is a guy but she sounds a lot like an old woman. And those visors made me think she is some cybernetic enhancement or something. I thought the newer Aika was made by a different studio but apparently it is also the same studio who made the original one, Studio Fantasia (Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien, Stratos 4, Soukou No Strain). Wow, talk about a change in art and animation style in just a decade.

I wasn’t going to bother doing the voice acting but I guess I have to because MAMIKO NOTO IS THE VOICE OF KAREN!!! In a time when I am still reeling from her characters that have been killed off, in a time when my favourite and best seiyuu has been relegated to make cameo appearances or take on motherly roles, this is somewhat a great relief to get to hear her voicing a character that fits her voice type so perfectly. The other seiyuus I recognized are Ami Koshimizu as the newer Aika and Miyuki Sawashiro as E.T.A.I. And I didn’t realize it was Yuko Goto behind Miyu’s voice and I believe at that time she didn’t sounded like her trademark Asahina from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu that perhaps got me stereotyped her voice as that dreamy ghost-like voice. Yeah… Also, I thought Rie sounded familiar. Couldn’t put my finger on it till I finished watching this show. Ikue Ohtani voiced her. You don’t know who that is? Pika! Pika! Chopper!!! Yup, that’s her. It’s so shocking to hear her other than a yellow electric mouse and a reindeer tanuki.

First opening theme is the rock based Silent City by Mari Sasaki with More Natural by Hiroko Konishi as the disco-like ending theme. Then we also have another retro rock style Manatsu No Seiza by Mink as the second opener while Dance With Me Tonight by Punky Fruites as the second one. Personally I like Dance With Me Tonight since it has that funky disco beat and it sure brings back some 70’s music nostalgia. For the newer Aika, Ami Koshimizu sings all the themes. With the spy-like Sailing To The Future as the opener for Virgin Mission and anime rock Flying Kid for Aika Zero. More rock based music as Rise and Dream Hunter are their ending themes respectively.

I want to believe that perhaps it is because of the lacking story and shallow characters the reason why this never got adapted 10 years later. The original Aika made its debut in 1997 before a full 10 years passed then we got an updated Aika that probably nobody asked for. Hence people then might have wised up and wanted something more than just crotch shots and ass shots and their tastes ‘refined’ into better hentai and fapping material. But I digress. We’re just primitives when it comes to such carnal desires. It’s just natural. It’s just in our genes.

All in all, don’t hope much if you want to watch this series. After all, the reason that one may stumble upon this old series is because you’re feeling a bit naughty but not horny enough to go watch real porn! This series is as silly and shallow as one would have imagined but it’s all worthwhile because the story and characters that could have been better written were sacrificed for all the fanservice of ass shots and crotch shots. Well, you can’t have everything. So I hope no Japanese director sees this blog of mine and realize the idea of the need to reboot Aika! Gee, will Aika get younger in the next instalment? Sorry, not a lolicon! Just stick to the basic formula and you can’t go wrong. Boy, you wished Lagu would cleanse the world of perversion right now, no?

HIDOI SUGIRU DESU YO!!!!!!!! Oh wow. Just when you thought it had ended, here’s more of it. I’m talking about Seitokai Yakuindomo S2 OVA! It has been many years since the second season ended but subsequently they released more episodes in the OVA format but in very random and unequal intervals. Making it even worse is the numbering of these subsequent OVAs. Because the movie somewhat ‘ruined’ it and there is a hell lot of confusion about the numbering. So episodes 20 and 21 are labelled as the movie, huh? Yeah, I didn’t see that movie. But I’m sure I won’t lose much. I hope. Oh dear. With those numbers thrown in to represent the movie, I’ll just accept and go with that since that is what the label of these OVA episodes that I’m going to watch said. So more dirty sex jokes, huh? Okay. Bring it on!

OVA 22
* Hata suggesting some sort of flag to be triggered with Tsuda. Stuffing a flag in his ass, that is!
* Tsuda and his girls are out. They see Uomi manning a fast food joint. Better order quickly before Shino and Aria sexualizes the food. Like the hot dog…
* Everyone takes turn singing the karaoke and each has some sort of comment for each other. Like for Aria, Shino wants her to sing slower songs because lively songs make her boobs gyrate!
* The girls help Tsuda clean the boys’ toilet? Though Tsuda explains the bull’s eye mark on the urinals, Shino turns up a notch by putting a certain ‘hole’ in its place!
* Tsuda asks Aria why girls pat their cheek when they put face cream. To increase blood circulation. However Shino misinterprets the whole line, slapping a girl’s cheek with your meat stick to improve circulation and make it longer.
* The clubs show their receipt to the student council for reimbursement. Leave it to the usual suspects to sexualize them. But the robotics club is actually buying parts to make a hermaphrodite android?!
* Shino conducts a spot check on her fellow student council members. So Aria bringing in this weird dildo is okay but Tsuda bringing in a manga is not just because it is educational?
* We see the gang at the aquarium (supposedly some leftover clips from the movie). Yeah, making some comments about some sea life. Like squid tentacles… And otters hinting about lesbian sex?
* Mori can’t swim. And since pool season is around the corner, she fears practising among the people she knows. Don’t worry. Uomi has arranged to practice at Ousai’s pool. You bet the perverts are going to make some dirty pool jokes. Like Aria, because she can’t fit into the inflatable tube (due to her big boobs), she considers it useless! Uomi and Shino force feed Tsuda. Looks like he is choking but they start posing in sexy moves so as to make him salivate and swallow better. Wouldn’t the tea be easier? In the end and after a year later, Mori is now able to show others how much she has grown. Yup, her boobs have grown the most!
* As Tsuda walks home, he sees Shino waiting for him at the gates. Knowing what comes next, he turns around! Shino had to call him out! True enough, she was going to make a sex joke. She apologizes but can’t help stop make dirty jokes. Those tears supposed to convince us? Likewise, Tsuda also admits he can’t stop playing the straight man. So they deserve each other? In this supposed next scene to shock us, Shino suddenly hugs him from the back! But it is just to twist his nipples as he doesn’t plan to walk home with her! Yeah, didn’t see that coming!

OVA 23
* Tsuda accidentally breaks an art sculpture while cleaning up. Don’t worry, it’s cheap. He can help glue it back. As he does so, Igarashi thought she saw blood on his hand and quickly grabs it. Turns out it is glue and now their hands are stuck. Oh no. Bad timing as Shino and Aria are coming in. Pretend to arm wrestle! The solution is to use hot water but now they’ve a meeting. And it becomes awkward as the duo attend the meeting with their hands held all the time. After boiling the water, because the vibe is so good between them, jealous Shino just nonchalantly pours the hot water over Tsuda’s hand.
* Kotomi is looking for new experience so she ends up being the judo club’s manager. She makes her big blunder when she washes the club members’ panties while they’re bathing. Because of that they have nothing to wear on their way home. That’s not the worse part. The way she explains to Shino how everyone’s panties got wet needs further explanation!
* Kenji Yanagimoto of the film club does an audition to find a lead role for his movie that he plans to submit for a competition. Shino is the first one to go. Acting out a scene with Tsuda whereby he has his arms around her from her back, because she is nervous, she screams something hard is touching her (his hands) but this gives everybody the greatest misunderstanding. Mitsuba is so athletic that she the cast decides to cast her as the stunt woman. In the end, Suzu is chosen as the lead because of her height. Haven’t you heard? The male and female leads are actually siblings and the film is about a previously all-girls’ school turned co-ed. Sibling hilarity in every moment guaranteed. There is this one very steamy scene in which Tsuda is on top of Shino in bed. Once more she gets anxious and her calf cramps up. She screams in pain and everybody misunderstands Tsuda entered her!!! Filming finally ends and a tired Shino leans on Tsuda’s shoulder and falls asleep.
* When Uomi has this tall volleyball girl, Yuu Hirose to pick some box at the top shelf, this is part of her plan to ask her to join the student council body. Hirose has no qualms as she is often mistaken to be a boy. Despite agreeing to join, she is more of a ghost member since Uomi gave her permission to attend her club duties first. So whenever she needs to attend student council meetings, Hirose will just give excuse that she just needs to take a dump!
* Hirose is introduced to Ousai’s student council body. Hirose offers Tsuda to test her to see that she is a real woman. And by that she means touching her throat. See, no Adam’s apple! And with Suzu conscious about their height difference, she claims she too has ‘grown’ and recites the digits of pi!
* Yanagimoto’s film manage to win a prize as we see snippets of the film’s trailer. Looks okay to me… But no release date of this film yet!
* Tsuda is embarrassed to hear his voice recorded in the film. But Shino and Aria misheard that as Tsuda’s voice of shame! It doesn’t help when Todoroki mixes and replays ambiguous lines of his…

OVA 24
* Dejima has the gang go on a mystery tour. While riding the bus, Uomi takes off her socks so as to prevent blood clot. Kotomi panics and tries to take hers off too but the perverts at the back think she is trying to take off her panties.
* The bus supposedly breaks down and conveniently there is a mansion nearby for them to stay. Isn’t the master the bus driver? Lack of actors, huh? Tsuda notices a note in his room to play the culprit. You bet this is going to be a hard time for him because soon Shino screams and claims someone stole her panties!
* So everyone gathers around to deduce and investigate. Uomi takes this chance to snuggle close to Tsuda, claiming Shino won’t be targeted again. Shino vows to keep a watchful eye on them but Uomi distracts her with a dildo…
* Panty thief strikes again with Kotomi being the victim this time. The rest deduce Tsuda can’t be the culprit because doing so makes him a pervert.
* During dinner, the culprit leaves a clue when to strike next. Shino deduces the message and what the heck everyone is scared that the next target is H-cup size? That’s scary indeed. When midnight strikes, a short blackout occurs and this time Suzu realizes her bra is gone!
* Tsuda then deduces as he claims he was being framed as the culprit. His conclusion leads to Dejima being the culprit. True enough she admits. Know she is looking forward to be punished… Everyone is glad this mystery over but one tiny little issue… Can we have our panties back?!
* The student council has an interview with clubs to conduct a community report meeting. Some of them have ulterior motives like Hata, had Suzu not spot that ‘typo’, she would have published some erotic article.
* As Uomi has got the flu, she lost her voice. Since Mori can imitate her voice, she is tasked to speak on her behalf for the day. But beware those ambiguous place cards that she writes… Read carefully before you speak! Sometimes her writing is unreadable so Hirose tries to help out but her handwriting is even worse! When Tsuda calls and Uomi has Mori take her call, Tsuda can tell it is Mori right away. This has his student council girls very suspicious how he can recognize girls’ voice easily on the phone.
* Shino thought it is Tsuda in this mascot outfit so she takes him to talk about things. Then this important part where she promises there is no dirty joke and will tell it to him seriously. However she gets nervous and a voice tells her to go ahead and say it. Turns out the person underneath this mascot is the principal! Substituting for Tsuda? Shino is reeling from embarrassment as the real Tsuda shows up. This makes Shino even more embarrassed. But as she tries to back out, the principal tries to motivate to say her feelings. To deny that is to deny his existence! This has Shino sum up her courage as she approaches Tsuda. Finally the moment we have been waiting for? Go ahead, Shino. Say what you really want to say to him. Is that a bulge in your pants?! WTF???!!! YOU MESSED UP, GIRL!!! No wonder Tsuda walks away disappointed. Maybe next time, huh? The principal asks why she couldn’t convey her true feelings. Simple. Shino blames puberty.

It’s Always Spring For Puberty & Dirty Jokes!
Yeah… Guess what? There is going to be another OVA in the second half of 2020 coming! So you bet I’m still going to stick around and watch since I wasn’t patient enough to let the next OVA come out and watch all at one go. I mean, what difference does it make? It’s not like I remember everything about this series, right? Just a bunch horny female characters (and a really short one) and a guy who retorts them all. So I can definitely guarantee you that I’ll be around then to watch the next OVA. And I won’t be surprised that won’t be the last. After all, this series having produced such irregular OVA episodes just shows that dirty sex jokes can never die. It is truly a 24/7 and 365 days all year round spectacle. I guess that is why we never grow old and tired of dirty jokes and memes, huh?

Basically I can’t say or add anything much (because I don’t remember much either) but I suppose the characters here continue to stay true to their character. Perverts never change. The straight man stays the straight man and maintains that role till the day he dies (or the producers decide to stop producing this series anymore). And the shorty still can’t manage to grow an inch! Hey, at least she has a high IQ and able to recite digits of the pi! Not sure if we are disappointed or relieved that Shino was about to confess to Tsuda but failed spectacularly. It feels like the end goal of the series but I have this gut feeling that if that ever becomes true, it will change everything. Nothing will be the same. Despite me saying that these characters don’t change. Imagine true love changing the perverts’ nature into decent ones. But nothing like a good ol’ dirty joke to bring everyone back to where they are, huh? When we were young, sex jokes are off limits and are for adults. But when we become adults, sex jokes are considered childish. So is there ever a good time for making dirty jokes? SYD screws all that because there is no restricted TPO for sex jokes. Anytime, anywhere. If a sex joke is ready to fly, let it fly! Now hand me the next OVA release!

Remember that silly Cinderella plot hole whereby Cinderella lost her glass slippers and the only way the prince could find her was to call every woman in town to fit them? Like yeah, not only did he assume Cinderella had that only small feet to fit into them, that bastard couldn’t even remember her damn face! And he was dancing with her all night long! WTF, dude???!!! Anyway, Kawaikereba Hentai Demo Suki Ni Natte Kuremasu Ka (or HenSuki if that is a mouthful for you to pronounce and remember) isn’t really that Cinderella spoof or spinoff. Main character dreams of having a girlfriend. Heh, which guy wouldn’t? And then dream come true because his future girlfriend left him not only an anonymous letter but her panties as well! Oh sh*t! This girl also thirsty as f*ck? But the ‘Cinderella’ problem now for this guy is that based on the pool of suspects in his potential harem, he definitely can’t go up and ask each one of them to try the panties out, CAN HE???!!! Good luck trying to solve this mystery without looking much like a pervert. And he isn’t the only pervert he’ll stumble upon during this quest…

Episode 1
Keiki Kiryuu is your typical high school kid. Single and wants a girlfriend. This guy who is part of the shodo (calligraphy) club that consists of females and him as the only guy? Oh my. I can see where this is going. After he cleans up the clubroom, there is a love letter left for him. It is not signed and furthermore, a pair of panties is left with the letter! Has spring finally come for him? Unsure, he confides in his best friend, Shouma Akiyama. It can’t be a prank at their age and the logical answer is that his Cinderella could be one from his shodo club. Could it be the beautiful and busty president, Sayuki Tokihara? Or the cute and honest junior, Yuika Koga? Perhaps the friendly Mao Nanjou? Maybe his own little sister, Mizuha? Who knows? So Keiki tries to indirectly ask Sayuki and Yuika but they leave him hanging with no concrete evidence. He can’t concentrate that he gets knocked out during a basketball game. He wakes up in the infirmary with Mao by his side. She too is giving mixed signals but nothing conclusive. On the way home, Keiki helps Sayuki return a lost dog to its owner and realizes she likes dogs a lot. After having him pet her head, she pecks him on the cheek for always being kind to her. With this hint, Keiki thinks of getting more out of her. So on a ‘date’ after answering her question that he is glad to join this club, maybe he is a bit too direct asking if she has special emotions towards him. Because now she runs away and subsequently she avoids him like a plague. Is she his Cinderella? With Mao’s suggestion to do a wall slam to stop her, he does so (making it almost look like a rape scene). He claims he knows her secret. To put it generally. Doesn’t everyone have secrets? She starts acting sheepishly. Since he knows about it and doesn’t hate her for it, she wants him to come to the clubroom after school. He does so and Sayuki is there waiting for him. She is glad he is someone who accepts her for who she is. She has him close his eyes while she prepares. What does he see? Sayuki stripped her top and wearing a collar?! WTF?! She wants him to be her pet!!! Woof! You mean this b*tch… Oops!

Episode 2
In short, Sayuki is a super masochist pervert! She wants to be scolded by him as a pet! No way, Jose! Later when the teacher tells Keiki that he forgot to lock the clubroom, that is when he realizes his Cinderella could be anybody than his club members. He did leave the room for a while during cleaning. Cinderella must have snuck in to place the letter. He returned and finished up while she hid. After he left and locked the door, she unlocked it from inside and escaped. Talking to Shouma about this, it seems Keiki still can’t pinpoint Sayuki as his Cinderella. But asking about pet fetish, Shouma thinks it’s his new fetish but won’t laugh since Shouma is a lolicon! At the library, Sayuki tries to seduce him, making him uncomfortable. She really wants to be punished, huh? This sets a showdown with Yuika. Eventually Sayuki says they went on a date and I don’t think Yuika is mad because Keiki thinks she too wanted to be treated to a parfait like they had on their date. Damn Keiki, now I see why you no have girlfriend… So to make up for this, Keiki has got to date Yuika now? Whatever. A typical date at the movies and the likes. When Yuika excuses herself to the toilet and is taking too long, Keiki then realizes several men try to hit on her. You mean they kept talking while she just ignored them and stood there? And they’re like giving up after Keiki says she’s with him? Damn those guys are clueless too. Keiki blames himself for not being sensitive enough so Yuika thanks him by pecking his forehead for saving her. Later he finds out she is racially mixed and hence her beauty makes it hard for others to approach her. That’s why she was always alone. Keiki being the dense dude, always kept staring at her while she reads and even admitted she is beautiful despite she didn’t like it. But as he always strike up a conversation, eventually she opens up to him. And now Yuika wants to meet up to tell him a big secret. Is this his Cinderella revealing moment? Well… Turns out Yuika wants Keiki to be her slave! Say what? She thinks guys love being slaves to cute girls and this should be an honour for him. She is willing to give him her freshly worn panties if he does so. Since he disagrees, she punishes him by stuffing her panties in his mouth! It didn’t kill him but he is out cold. Yeah, this dominance just gives Yuika the orgasm and thrill.

Episode 3
Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because now Keiki finds Yuika’s bra in his shoe locker! It’s the only way to get his attention since he is avoiding her. So meeting up with her, she reads him a story about a shy princess who turns out to be some S&M sadist. So she isn’t giving up on him being her slave, huh? And she’ll train him till being her slave becomes his only joy. Well, Keiki… RUN!!! Out of the fire and into… More fire! Because this time there is a scandalous picture of Keiki sleeping with Sayuki! And a threat to release this online! Better go see what this b*tch is up to. Oh. Maid outfit. I approve! What do you mean you don’t want to be her goshuujin-sama???!!! Anyway the keys to her handcuffs are stuck in her cleavage. Better get it out quick as she needs to go to the toilet… After doing so, Sayuki continues to be flirty with him. She allows him to do anything to her but as Keiki deliberates with his devilish and angelic side, the force of being a virgin is still strong. He rejects her because there needs to be love in all this! Hanging with Shouma, any updates about the Cinderella potential? Well, if Sayuki and Yuika are out, that leaves Mao. Shouma points out that she sometimes steal glances of him. Later, Yuika tricks Keiki that she is naked and he must close his eyes while she leads him to the room where her clothes are. Obviously a trap as he realizes too late she has tied him up. Now she wants him to kiss her foot and pledge his allegiance to her or she’ll steal his first kiss on the lips. Luckily Sayuki enters the room. How did she find him? Stalking Keiki is her specialty. Say what?! Both girls argue and it dawned to Keiki that both of them know each other’s fetish. Yeah, since the first time they met. As they struggle over Keiki as their possession, Mao is the one who comes to rescue him. Conveniently the rope has a mind of its own because it somehow ties up Sayuki and Yuika. So why is Mao admonishing Keiki? Was it his fault? She blames him of being drawn to Sayuki’s boobs and Yuika’s pampering. So what are you trying to say, girl? Mao doesn’t want him to be with other girls because she doesn’t like it.

Episode 4
Yuika somewhat apologizes to Keiki about that shameless fight over him. She hopes he would patch things up with Mao. Why is this slave driver so generous? That’s because it’s all part of using sticks and carrots. Sayuki also has the same feeling. Apologizing for yesterday’s public lewdness, she also wants Keiki and Mao to become friends again. Otherwise she can’t claim to be an obedient dog if she destroys his friendships. And what’s this about attacking him in private instead of in public? I don’t think she’s joking… Keiki goes to talk to Mao. She wants to hang out with Shouma like the 3 of them used to. At the arcade, Keiki slips and Shouma catches him, turning this into a highly suggestive BL scene. We see Mao can’t stop taking pics of them. On the way home, Mao asks him about his thoughts about getting in a relationship. This leads to an argument whereby she accuses him of being a pervert, thinking he likes girls fighting over him. Noticing she is looking at a picture of Shouma, he asks if she likes him. She denies everything and runs away. Keiki is in a dilemma that he talks to Mizuha about this. While she doesn’t want him to force Mao to talk if she doesn’t want to, he still wants to know about her despite feeling bad for prodding too much. So the next day he confronts her to talk again. This time she blames him for everything. She cannot sleep well because he is always on her mind. She can’t stop thinking of him. He apologizes for everything and hopes to do anything to make it up to her so they could become friends again. Anything? This is where the sucker punch comes in. So when she asks about him dating, well… What she meant was him dating Shouma! Say what?! Long story short, Mao is a fujoshi! BL fanatic! You can tell her change of character when she dons a pair of glasses. Hell, she even has a yaoi series of them! Shortcakes series! That’s Shouma x Keiki if you haven’t guessed it. Everything that seems to be bugging Mao, everything and I mean everything leads back to some BL connotation. Keiki doesn’t oppose he fetish but can she stop basing her works on them? No can do. She has fans waiting for the next story! Since Keiki won’t be gay, Mao vows to do anything to thwart every attempt at romance he makes towards females. It would be bad if her inspiration source ends up with a girl, right? Just when Keiki thought all his Cinderella candidates are out, he now finds another unnamed letter in his shoe box. Well, looks more like blackmail because it’s a pic of him in a compromising position with maid Sayuki! The nightmare has not ended…

Episode 5
There is also a letter that says to come to the astronomy club or else. But we now skip and see him in shodo club. Yuika dressed as a bunny girl, hopping around and serving everybody? Not sure if this is part of her training to make Keiki obedient to her but Yuika wants to officially join the club (so she can spend more time with Keiki) so Sayuki made her do this. What a way to humiliate your rival. It’s going to get worse when masochistic boobs monster has a showdown with sadistic boobless monster. But why is also Mao here? Yeah, she too wants to officially join the club. But why no bunny outfit? She promised to give all latest Shortcake series to Sayuki. Yup, she’s a big fan. Sayuki even introduces it to Yuika. Ah, that first time when you’re so embarrassed but hooked on it. Friendship from BL… So beautiful… With that, the shodo club is now a den of perverts. Flashback when Keiki went to the astronomy club. This petite girl, Koharu Ootori claims she is in love and doesn’t know what to do and resorted to blackmailing. Keiki jumped the gun that she is his Cinderella and quickly proposed to her. Of course she rejected. Then the big revelation: She is actually in love with Shouma! See all those pictures of him on the wall? In short, Koharu wants him to be her cupid to Shouma since this is a one-sided crush. So that’s where this blackmail comes in… We know Shouma is a lolicon so why is it so hard? You see, Koharu is actually their senior! So legal loli is not Shouma’s taste? With his dignity in line, hence Keiki agrees to be her cupid. With summer coming up and the school changing to its summer uniform, this gives Keiki an idea. He manages to have Shouma and Koharu meet. He has Koharu wear Mizuha’s uniform to make it look like she is a junior. The hoodie is also to hide other aspects that would blow her cover as a senior. Shouma takes the bait and is ecstatic. They even exchange contacts and take a commemorative photo. In exchange for Keiki’s help, Koharu listens to his Cinderella problem and offers to help. Her theory means everyone in school is a suspect but it won’t be possible to do a Cinderella test. You know, the prince having a glass slipper test. Can’t expect Keiki to have everyone test wear the panties, can he?! As he ponders, the meek student council vice president, Ayano Fujimoto falls down the stairs. He catches her but she is on top of him. Okay, time to get off. But she won’t. She wants to stay like this a little longer! She wants to be with him! Are my ears deceiving me? Can she be the real Cinderella this time?

Episode 6
To repay Keiki for what he did, Ayano made him cookies. Delicious. Then she really sits close to him and of course this freaks out Keiki. Throwing him off is Ayano giving him a goodbye hug. Of course, expert stalker Koharu has done her investigations on her and she seems like a decent and polite girl. She could be his Cinderella as she often makes audit checks to the clubrooms and the teacher confirmed it was her on that day when that mysterious Cinderella left her pantsu. Keiki will continue the investigation himself. Not sure why he returns to the shodo club but Yuika is waiting there. She traps him of course and wants to him to take responsibility for massaging her boobs. Since when?! In her dreams! Women… As usual, he won’t be her slave so she tries to massage his boobs back? Woman logic… In the struggle, he accidentally touches her boobs and now she freaks out and runs away. Women… Ayano seeks Keiki’s help to volunteer to clean up trash at the riverside. Sayuki somewhat tags along and tries to assert Keiki is her belonging. However she stops short of saying they are dating because their relationship is much deeper than that. Hence Ayano holds his arm close and even lets her boobs touch his arms. Not dating, right? Later Sayuki pulls Keiki aside to lick him. This is what dogs do to claim their territory, right? Knowing grabbing her boobs will only ignite her perversion, Keiki remembers what grandpa said. So he fondles her butt! Did it work? She loves it even more! So satisfied that she’ll let him go today. At the end of the clean-up, Keiki picks up a porn mag. Ayano tries to let him but falls into the river. He lends his jersey to cover up. Next day, he is invited to her office. Hmm… Great atmosphere. Right temperature, nice soft music, calming tea and apple pie to boot. This is really great if this is all part of repaying her debt. Then she sits close to him and dozes off. Keiki really feels good about it. Could she be the Cinderella he has been waiting for? Then he dozes off. When he wakes up… WTF Ayano trying to take off his pants???!!! Since it has come to this she admits she has smell fetish. She likes the smell of boys and currently she likes his. It all started because he caught her. The smell of destiny. Yeah, the smell of trouble… Hence this setup was to make him sleep so she could take his undies. Her miscalculation was that she fell asleep too. She thanks him for the nice jersey and wants his underwear. More revelation that her auditing was actually to find sweaty clothes and equipment. So can she have your underwear? No!

Episode 7
In order to cement Koharu’s relationship with Shouma, Keiki suggests a double date. So which girl should he bring? Based on the process of elimination, I guess you could say that Sayuki is the lesser between the devils. At the bowling centre, Sayuki suggests a penalty game. The last person gets doodled on the face while the third placed person will do whatever the winner says. Isn’t that worst? Isn’t Sayuki rigging this? But we see Koharu an absolute bowl master and she even teaches Souma on the finer bowling points. In the end, Koharu wins, Keiki is second followed by Shouma and finally Sayuki dead last. Too bad Sayuki, today’s not your day. Koharu’s command for Shouma is to call him by his first name and you can tell he is damn happy with this. In the aftermath, Koharu and Keiki talk together. She is grateful to Keiki’s help but she knows she cannot rely on him forever. Hence she will tell the truth to Shouma. As for that photo, she already deleted long time ago and believed Keiki to be a trustworthy person. He is after all Shouma’s friend. So Koharu has Shouma walk her home. They pass by a spot where they first met a year ago. She got her straw hat stuck in the tree and he picked it for her. It was love at first sight for her and ever since she wanted to get closer to him. So when she reveals her true identity, the shock on Shouma’s face. He rejects her as he reveals his lolicon nature. Keiki then talks to Shouma about everyone has a right to love anybody but to reject someone who is just older? He is sure a piece of work. Shouma also feels bad for rejecting her. He was also starting to like Koharu when he first helped her but never realized it was her because her hair was shorter then and by that time she already became his stalker. Koharu must have bawled a lot of tears. Now Keiki goes to talk to her and before they go badmouth about lolicons, here comes Shouma trying to make things up. He’d like for them to start off as friends. But Koharu instantly rejects him and snaps about this non-committal relationship and yet he wants to keep her as reserve? GTFO! Shouma is devastated but this is her way of getting back at him for dumping her as a lolicon. Gotcha! Now they’re even and just when things are looking fine, Shouma switches on the lights in this dark room and sees all the creepy photos she has taken of him for the past year. I hope he isn’t going to go back on his words…

Episode 8
Keiki has lots on his mind about Cinderella so much so he accidentally walks in while Mizuha is changing. Is it because they’re family that the cliché moment of the girl screaming and beating up the boy didn’t happen? Later as they talk, she even asks his opinion about her panty colour and he nonchalantly replies it suits her. Knowing something is on his mind she offers to hear him out. So he asks what if he wants a girl to be his pet or become a girl’s slave or interested in underwear. All her answers are the same: Call the police! Even if he wants to fall in love?! Just kidding. She’ll support him if that happens. Soon Sayuki visits. Again, she bugs him to be her master. No way. In that case, blackmail time. Unless he does so, she’ll reveal the Shortcake series to Mizuha! Oh well, I guess petting her head and belly isn’t anything wrong. Until she pushes his face into her boobs. Do pets do that? Then Mizuha comes in. Oh dear. Emergency family meeting! I guess this will be hard to convince her who the real pervert is. As Sayuki leaves, Keiki asks if he anybody else would be suitable to be her master. Her reply is that even masochists have their own pride. Shortly, Yuika visits. Oh no. Please be my slave? No? Shortcake series blackmail. And so he is forced to dress in this Playboy bunny outfit and because she loves his face when he cannot reply if he hates her now, she gives him her panties. She trips and falls over him. Then Mizuha walks in. Oops. Emergency family meeting round 2! This is going to be harder. Shortly, it’s Mao’s turn to call. She wants him to moan sexily as she is having a writer’s block drawing that gay sh*t. Learning that she knows Sayuki and Yuika were there, I guess this was all part of the setup. Mao would love to be there but she has a deadline to beat. Then she hints something about him having a girlfriend in middle school before hanging up. Finally another talk with Mizuha. Despite calling him a pervert, she knows he loves his sister too much. Is there anything perverted in loving a sister? When Keiki returns to his room, Cinderella’s panties are missing! Gasp! Emergency meeting with Shouma and Koharu. This could only mean Cinderella never intended to leave her panties in the first place but at least he has narrowed down the suspects to Sayuki or Yuika. I guess it won’t be appropriate to go flipping skirts or take upskirt photos, eh? Keiki visits the shodo club and only Sayuki is there. He looks serious even as he asks her he will become her master. She doesn’t look surprised or ecstatic too. So he brings her out to an amusement park and claims he will be her master for the rest of the day.

Episode 9
Keiki demands absolute obedience for today. Noticing that she is concerned about her skirt, could it be that she is wearing those Cinderella pantsu? Keiki suggests a few rides so that he has a chance to see underneath her skirt but all failed. Yeah, somehow the laws of physics are strong to not flip up this girl’s skirt! At the end of the day, they have a heart to heart talk and despite Keiki not getting what he wants, at least he sees another side of Sayuki and he somewhat got closer to her. I take it he means that as a human being. She also explains why she chose him to be her master when he first joined the shodo club as she had this feeling he would accept her for who she is. While walking her home, because he still notices her being concerned about her skirt, I guess it is now or never. He should’ve did this from the start but I guess he didn’t want to sound like an absolute pervert. Until now. He orders her to lift her skirt. Very embarrassed at it, she slowly does so. To Keiki’s shock… She’s not wearing anything!!! This however doesn’t dispel the fact that Sayuki isn’t Cinderella. So it gets awkward between them in school. I wonder Keiki is still in shock with that ‘awesome’ sight. So in shodo club, Sayuki is acting very strangely and Yuika notices this. The more she tries to pry, the more suspicious she becomes. Noticing that she is some sort of trying to be patient, Yuika puts this to the test by flirting with Keiki. Sayuki holds it in and does nothing. Yuika grows more intense until Sayuki can’t take it anymore. Yuika falls on Keiki in a compromising position. With Sayuki running away from him, Keiki realizes he needs to do something. He needs to bring back her smile. So he confronts her but she complaints about him being close to Yuika. Plus, she arrives at this twisted conclusion he is playing hard to get. That must be it. Because after going commando, she was expecting him to spank her bare naked ass or something. But nothing happened. This has Keiki get straight to the point and ask if she stole the pantsu from his room. Surprisingly she admits it! Wait. What?! No way?! In fact she is wearing them now! But of course here is the twist. She lifts her skirt to reveal that she is wearing his boxers! Oh my! Is some new sick fetish going to awaken from within? Later Keiki visits Yuika’s house. While she goes to get drinks, he searches her pantsu drawer. No Cinderella pantsu here. Then he gets caught in the act. Know why she isn’t mad? Yup. She took a picture of him red-handed. I guess he’ll gladly be her slave now.

Episode 10
And so Keiki’s enslavement to Yuika begins. This makes Sayuki suspicious and she thinks Yuika is blackmailing him. The argument ends up in forcing Keiki to confess whether he likes big or small boobs. Huh? Eventually Keiki has to be true to himself and admits his love for bigger ones. While Yuika is mad but because Keiki is an obedient dog to Yuika, Sayuki ends up in tears. No rest for the slave as Keiki is called to be Yuika’s butler. However she wants the public to see them and so they go out shopping. As she takes a shower, Keiki plans to look for the Cinderella panties hit a snag when he hears Yuika’s scream. A spider in the toilet! Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. Because he saw her naked, she is going to punish him. But to show gratitude for coming to her rescue, she tells him about her beloved grandma. Grandma loved her more than anything in the world. But when she died, Yuika felt betrayed. She thought if she didn’t like anyone, she wouldn’t be hurt so much. However as we know, Keiki persistently talked to her until she opened up. Thinking back, had she really not want to talk to anybody, she wouldn’t have gone to the library or told him off then. A weird situation whereby Yuika trips onto her bed. It seems like Keiki is going to kiss her but what’s this? He finds his boxers underneath her pillow?! Busted! Oh how the tables have turned. She admits she stole it and even sniffed it! Damn… So I guess this is even. The slave thingy ends here. Keiki complains to Shouma about having a girlfriend is so tough. You think he has it tough? Wait till he hears Shouma’s complaints about stumbling into Koharu’s room filled with DVDs of him and a notebook that details his every activity. Every. Activity. Yeah. Love is so hard… And then suddenly Mao shows up and wants Keiki to be her boyfriend. Is that her terminology to become a model for her BL? Anyway, she tells him she was scouted by an editor and given a chance to write a one shot shoujo manga. As she wants to expand her horizons but has no experience in this, thus this request. After confirming he really has no girlfriend, she sits on him seductively and tells him he will become her boyfriend. She prepares to kiss him. But of course she trolls him and all this is just for reference. Now Ayano comes hugging him to recharge herself after a hard day’s work. If sniffing his sweat isn’t enough, how about unlimited supplies of his underwear? No way. To show her gratitude, she gives him tickets to the pool. Up to 5 people can be invited. She isn’t coming as the temptation of naked men might be too much. Keiki goes to invite Shouma and Koharu but looks like they’re busy. As he helps them pick up photos of Shouma that Koharu dropped, he sees a photo with a timestamp and suddenly realizes this one could be vital to prove Cinderella’s identity.

Episode 11
The usual suspects are at the pool. Don’t worry if they didn’t bring a swimsuit, Keiki has already prepared some for them! The guy knows his stuff as they look sexy and stunning in them. Don’t fight over who gets to accompany him. Because everyone is going to have their turn. Fair and square? Not like Keiki has a say either. But Keiki’s worst fears have come true because now Mizuha knows about that BL feature! Now that she is being exposed thanks to certain irresponsible parties who are probably trying to screw up Keiki’s life, Mizuha even thinks she is okay he is into men and might have found a new awakening!!! It’ll be bad if there are overlapping characters for the BL trope! Koharu seems to be hosting a swimsuit beauty contest and is looking for participants. You mean there are no other girls at this pool? And so our usual quartet participate with the ‘reward’ Keiki must obey what the winner says. Does he even have a say in this? We see the girls take turns belting out why they like a certain guy. If only they know about their weird fetish like Keiki do… Eventually the winner goes to Mizuha as she even breaks the score counter! I guess everybody loves the little sister trope.

As they wait for the bus home, Keiki talks to Mizuha privately. He apologizes beforehand and flips up her skirt! There it is! The Cinderella panties! He explains his deduction. Mizuha can be seen in the background of that photo. It is around the time Keiki was still at the clubroom. For Cinderella to be carrying around those panties all the time, it is possible for her to keep it in her bag since it is small. So after leaving the letter and panties, she hid in the locker until Keiki showed up and left. Hence this pool was part of his plan to reveal Cinderella’s identity. As it was a surprise announcement, Mizuha clearly didn’t bring an extra set. So in order to change back after the pool, being the clean freak she is, he knew she had to wear the Cinderella panties. He never suspected her because he eliminated her from the suspect pool from the start. Mizuha admits she is the one. She truly loves him and hoped the love letter would have her feelings reached him. I am assuming she loves him not in the siblings’ kind of term but of the romantic kind. Then she reminds him of their birthdays. Noticed they are only 5 months apart in the same year? Are you seeing where she is going at? And so Mizuha apologizes beforehand. A surprise kiss followed by a surprised announcement that they, wait for it, are not real siblings!!! Jenjenjeng!

Episode 12
You know it’s a dream when Keiki is married to Sayuki. Not only she is his wife but his b*tch! Pet dog b*tch! Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because once Keiki wakes up, what’s worse than the dream? Your sister kissing you on the lips! Well, technically not blood related, so okay? Because she continues to get flirty with him, if this is how she is going to play it, he’ll run away from home! So he meets up with Shouma and Koharu to reveal the Cinderella mystery. Then it deviates to their relationship. Looks like Shouma pecked Koharu on her cheek. That’s far as they go. For now. Keiki leaves them since they’re having ‘family issues’. As Keiki forgot his wallet, luckily Mao is passing by and feeds him. Taking a break from her manga, she tells him Mizuha was pretty popular with other boys but rejected them all. Mao feels weird because she thought of getting in the way of his romance but now finds herself supporting him. Flashback shows Keiki confirming with dad that Mizuha is not blood related and adopted. So he forgot? It didn’t matter if he reminded again because they are all family. Plus, dad likes Mizuha over his own son! We hear Keiki and Mizuha narrate their own feelings. While Keiki cannot see her more than a sister, Mizuha has always seen him as a boy. Ironically she still calls him nii-san.

Keiki comes back drenched by the rain and ends up sick. Though he is in bed, he is currently being seduced by Sayuki. Can’t catch a break, huh? And then of course Yuika shows up. Instead of fighting each time they see other, they fight over him. Yeah, bad move, Keiki. Can he heal? But luckily the sister has more authority and kicks them out. Keiki manages to get his sleep as he dreams about the first time Mizuha was brought into the family. Yeah, how could he ever forget that? Then he goes talk to Mizuha to ask why and when she started falling for him. It was the first time they met. She can never forget the words he first said to her. As she lost her family in an accident and was alone, Keiki said they are going to be together forever as family. That was the clincher. How could she not fall for him after that? Thanks for always being her brother. With that, Keiki decides to keep being her brother. They also return to their normal lives. Of course some things never changed. Like perverts being perverts… Mizuha hopes he would one day date her as a lover and not a brother. So as he obliges that wish, Keiki finally discovers Mizuha’s true dark fetish secret: She is an exhibitionist! Now you understand why when Keiki enters the bathroom and sees her naked, she did not panic?! In fact, Keiki stumbles upon lots of naked Mizuha selfies! Oh sh*t! Hence the true mystery of the Cinderella panties finally answered: That day she was going commando. But after cleaning the clubroom, she felt sweaty and wanted to put them back on. However that was when Keiki returned and she had to hide. So will Keiki now accept his sister for who she is and make her his girlfriend? Sorry, no… I have a feeling he wants to stay away but he can’t because of his nii-san promise…

Love Is Pervert
I am guessing that as long as Keiki wants to have a girlfriend, the kind of girls that he attracts are perverts. Uh huh. He isn’t going to get a really normal girlfriend in life because fate seems to enjoy this cruel prank by making twisted perverted girls being attracted to him. And with that, all is well and normal in Keiki’s life. Either he dies a bachelor virgin or he succumbs and submits to one of these perverts. Yup. That’s pretty much his life. Life f*cking and screwing up for him.

It is your typical ecchi fanservice harem of the season and it is either you love it or be disappointed because it’s the same ol’ formula. A bevy of cute girls with their cliché stereotypes masked as some sort of weird fetish, check. Some kawaii pantsu shots, check. Main guy ‘dates’ each of them, check. Is that enough to satisfy what you are looking for? Then good. You’re all filled up and good to go. Otherwise, feel free to look elsewhere.

When guys are having such fetishes, they are branded as perverts and everything becomes uncomfortable and disgusting. When girls are the ones having such fetishes, it is all funny and sexy and we still get a hard on. Wow double standards. But we don’t care. Only new wave feminists might start complaining how we sexualize these girls as sex objects. But whatever, I don’t give a f*ck. Anyway, the girls having these weird perverted fetishes are the so called formula in making this series funny as well as giving it its much needed fanservice. You have a busty senior who wants to be a submitted slave. You have a flat washboard junior who wants to dominate others. You must always have that classmate who is into BL and a fujoshi. And last but not least, you can’t leave out your loving little sister trope. Oh wait. Plot twist! We’re not related! Yeah, saw that coming by a mile too. You mean we won’t have incest now???!!! Where’s the twisted fun in not f*cking your own imouto???!!! Haha. Just kidding. Obviously. I bet Mizuha could make a killing being an Instagram model or do soft porn… But I am sure nii-san won’t allow it…

Despite all their reasonable (although some may be considered as twisted) reasons, Keiki still entertains them and because of him accommodating others easily, this is a main reason why these girls don’t give up on him. You won’t find any other guys in school as obliging as him. Though, he still has his own line that he won’t cross. Because he certainly won’t become somebody’s master, he certainly won’t become somebody’s slave and he certainly won’t become the model of a gay subject. Other guys would have run away but this guy, yeah we’re still friends despite being weirdoes. He won’t abandon them because who else will they have? That very same kindness came to bite him back in the ass because he has to put up with these shenanigans. So it’s a race to his heart! Or his libido. May the best pervert win! And that’s why Keiki falls into that trap of being the typical clichéd main character. He’s got a harem but they are all twisted and have ulterior motives that result in him having to suffer a lot more rather than enjoy. Ah, the drawbacks of being such a generic main character. But the only thing ‘unique’ about him is his given name as Keiki. Feels like it is for that short convenience BL joke.

When Mizuha was revealed to be the Cinderella, it didn’t come to me as a surprise because I always suspected her from the start. I mean, after a few episodes in, there are subtle tell-tale signs that she could be the culprit. Because you know, Keiki has been focusing so much on the terrible trio of either Sayuki, Yuika or Mao that he failed to suspect the fourth which is his own sister. I guess you can say this was just right under his nose. As a normal guy, you can’t blame him for never suspecting his own sister. She is the only one who has free access to his room any time in the first place. Also, he is an idiot for conveniently forgetting his sister was adopted in the first place. HOW COULD HE EVEN FORGET???!!! Maybe Mizuha is being so sisterly sister that it feels like though as she was there the whole time. Yeah, convenient plot twist reveal. In any case, the biggest hint is watching the opening credits animation in which the quartet are shown to be the main running contenders to be Keiki’s harem (though Sayuki and Yuika are the front runners). And of course based on this too, I can tell that Koharu and Ayano are just ‘trolls’ and distractions and not part of the main harem. Uh huh. Having 6 girls in your harem is already too much and breaking the normal harem quota of 2-4 girls.

Art and animation feel pretty average although it hovers around mediocrity. Because of the somewhat light shading, is it me or do I find the characters to look mostly one kind. Not only that, I think I have seen them somewhere from other animes. Like Koharu who has this striking resemblance to Sagiri of Eromanga-sensei fame while Yuika while Mizuha could have been ripped off from Hinako Note’s Chiaki and Yuika looks like a petite version of Go-toubun No Hanayome’s Yotsuba (must be the hair ribbon). Long black haired Japanese girls seem like a dime a dozen but I can only think of Senran Kagura’s Ikaruga whom Sayuki looks similar to. In fact, doesn’t Keiki and his harem’s design copy off the one from Saenai Heroine No Sodatekata?! Wow. Look at the striking resemblance… A black long haired beauty, the blonde with an attitude and the short haired ‘normal’ girl. Wow… And finally Ayano… Is this how Rem and Ram of Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu looks like without their maid outfit?! This anime is collaborated by Geek Toys (RErideD: Tokigoe No Derrida) and Seven (Danna Ga Nani Wo Itteriru Ka Wakaranai Ken, Joshikausei, Nobunaga-sensei No Osanazuma, Okusama Ga Seitokaichou and Ousama Game).

The voice acting is pretty decent (oh the irony) and the only seiyuus I recognized are Hiro Shimono as Keiki (I guess he isn’t as smooth as his character Keima in The World God Only Knows) and Ayana Taketatsu as Sayuki. The rest of the other casts are Rina Hidaka as Yuika (Last Order in To Aru Majutsu No Index), Iori Nomizu as Mao (Yoshino in Date A Live), Kaede Hondo as Mizuha (titular character in Tejina-senpai), Ayaka Ohashi as Koharu (Saaya in BanG Dream), Keisuke Koumoto as Shouma (Raul in Yuushibu) and Anzu Haruno as Ayano (Mafuyu in Blend S).

I was so damn cocksure that the opening theme, Daisuki was sung by Ayana Taketatsu. Unfortunately, I was way off the mark. It was Ayaka Ohashi. I couldn’t really believe and had to listen to the song a few times over again. What do you mean this isn’t Ayana Taketatsu’s voice?! Doesn’t she sound like that?! Behold my unbeliever boy, it’s right there in the credits too. Damn, I guess I can’t argue with that. Oh, and the song itself? Nah, just your generic lively anime pop music. Not bad and a fitting piece for this series but not something I would be addicted to. The ending theme is Mubyuu No Hana by Mia Regina. A rather okay slow ballad if I must say.

Overall, this is just a pretty average and mediocre series. You only watch this if you are interested in the fanservice and some of the twisted fetish jokes. After all, this is what this series is all about, right? Certainly not the worst ecchi fanservice series out there because nobody tops Ore Ga Suki Nano Wa Imouto Dakedo Imouto Ja Nai ever since! Yeah, that series has become the benchmark of being just awfully bad. At the end of the day, each and every one of us has some sort of fetish or obsession. That’s how we get by life. The question of how tolerable and acceptable society perceives it to be. Then again, when you are truly in love, you accept the person for who they are. The flaws and imperfections are the actual reasons why you love that person. You accept the whole package as it is. But still, nobody loves a pervy middle aged otaku guy who likes hot sexy 2D anime girls :’(.

Tejina-senpai

October 19, 2019

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra! Ladies and gentlemen. Get ready for the greatest magician to ever walk the face of the planet in recent history! Let her awe and mesmerize you with her magical tricks. So real that you wouldn’t even believe it after seeing it with your own eyes. People, I present to you Tejina-senpai! Oh… Oh… She blunders and screws up every of her trick! Uhm… So that wasn’t in the script? You mean those bloopers are real and uncalled for? Oh… Oh… But wait! Uhm. Yeah. They look so funny so you might actually not be watching a magic show but a comedy show instead! Aha. Yeah. That must be it! Oh my. She’s flashing her undies unintentionally too? Wait a minute. Is this a strip show too?! Uhm. Erm. Ah… Oh well… Everybody give a big round of applause to Tejina-senpai, the brilliant magician-cum-comedian-cum-flasher all rolled into one! Best show ever definitely.

Episode 1A
In Tanenashi High School, all students are required to join a club. A boy is looking for an easy club when he stumbles into the magic club. He sees Tejina trying to do magic tricks but because she suffers from stage fright (despite just performing alone), she keeps vomiting. She tries to impress him with tricks but he can already see her slip up as she makes excuses for her lameness. Then the ultimate trick of cutting his money in half! Will his money be alright? Snip. Oh sh*t… Oh look, his money somehow transferred into her wallet… I wonder why she’s crying… He is about to leave but she manages to get his attention the next magic trick is bondage. So how will she free herself from this? She can’t. She screws up even further and this sexy BDSM position has him applauding. Best magic trick ever!

Episode 1B
Tejina is doing her magic trick in the school compound. The crowd isn’t impressed. Because he is passing by, she drags him into her show. Yeah, he is now conveniently her Assistant. While she gets ready, Assistant does a few tricks to appease the crowd. They’re a bit impressed and Tejina is more jealous than anything. So Tejina has done her preparations. How will she get out of the box? 10 minutes passed. It is clear to say she has given up. Show’s over. Assistant opens the box to see her in a compromising position.

Episode 1C
It’s already bad enough Tejina hijacks the PA and is calling for Assistant to come to the clubroom right now! Embarrassing. So she wants him to eat her melon bread? Suspicious, he has her eat first. Looks okay. The moment he bites, he feels something hard. There’s a key in it. Surprise! Hence he locks her in the box. Because he is choking, she thinks of using milk. But WTF she wants to do a trick? This is matter of life and death! Hand it over! A struggle ensues causing the milk to spill all over her body. Her clothes are soaked. Best fanservice has him swallow whatever was stuck in his throat. All clear now.

Episode 1D
Tejina brings a pigeon to the clubroom. After explaining why white doves are used, she proceeds to let it out. Don’t worry. She has bonded with it so well that it listens to her. Only, it bites her hand! Then it flies about until Tejina uses bird seeds to calm it down. But instead, it dives straight into her cleavage (I guess the main dish is better) and flies around, tickling her body. Then it pops out from beneath like as though she has given birth. So this is her giving birth magic? Then the pigeon flies out the open window. Come back, Bahamut! Yeah, lost posters of a pigeon. Please help find…

Episode 2A
What a sorry sight to see Tejina eating alone. But must he join her? Yeah, now she is trying to bend spoons. Pretty easy if you know physics. While he excels, she is struggling. Of course the spoon is flung out of her hands. As he goes to get a new one, she realizes some spicy sauce spilled onto his meal. To cover it up, she casts a hypnotizing spell that he will find it spicy. See? It worked, right? Yeah, if it is hypnotism, she shouldn’t find it spicy. Now she is forced to eat the rest of his food.

Episode 2B
Tejina tries to impress with her coin trick but it always slips out and land in some unreachable place. So as she tries to reach for it, she unknowingly shows her ass to him. Because of that, he tries to subtly warn her. Hence they are both talking on different pages. She thinks he means magic trick while he thinks it is about sex. So is she really going to give it to him? Another messed up coin trick as the coin got flicked on his forehead. Ouch.

Episode 2C
Meet Behemoth. Tejina’s critter hand puppet. Sad state of friends, huh? Not sure what this magic trick of Behemoth running through her body is supposed to do but as usual, it’s not impressive. One magic trick has her accidentally dropping Behemoth on the floor and she accidentally stepping over it. It’s ‘dead’. Such a sad day… And she just left it in the classroom instead of taking it back with her.

Episode 2D
It’s such a hot summer. And even hotter when Tejina is already in bondage position. Yup, she screwed up trying to show some magic trick to kids. Luckily they don’t look like they’re corrupted and instead disappointed with this failure. And when Assistant takes over, the kids look to him with more hope! Jealous Tejina takes over again, this time with some clothes changing trick. Since she is taking too long, the kids has Assistant help them with their video game. Oh, Tejina you done? How does she fail this time? She realizes she forgot to bring extra clothes and is completely nude underneath this mantle. Nothing for you kids to see here… And the legend of some cape clad flasher was born…

Episode 2E
Assistant realizes today is the last day to submit his application on which club he is to join. Oh my. Tejina locking the place up! Then tying him up! She even takes the liberty to fill in this magic club on his application form. So this setup is part of her magic trick? Yeah, whatever this lame rubber rabbit trick is. At the end of the day, she hopes they can make a real club with real members and an advisor. You mean, this isn’t even an official club to begin with???!!! Assistant is shocked he has been tricked. This is fraud! Nope, says Tejina. This is magic! WTF?!

Episode 3A
Why is Tejina scared to see the teacher? Because she is her older sister! Quirkiness runs in the family as Onee-chan loves teasing Tejina, much to her dismay. She wants her to show her usual magic tricks and despite so, Onee-chan does her usual teasing. With that, she excitedly wants to be the advisor of her magic club. Tejina disagrees but another teacher reprimands Onee-chan for being noisy and not acting like a teacher.

Episode 3B
Assistant tries some normal tricks with Behemoth but Tejina becomes a harsh armchair critic. Now it’s Tejina’s turn so Assistant notices her zipper is undone. How can he subtly tell her? He says he can see everything but of course she thinks he is referring to her magic tricks and denies he hasn’t yet. As he can’t take his eyes off her flower prints panties, in the end he mentions flowers as the deck suit. Only later in the toilet that Tejina realizes what he meant…

Episode 3C
To help Tejina overcome her stage fright, Assistant reads a few tips from the internet. Drink lots of water. She drank the whole bottle! Now her tummy is aching… How about taking deep breaths? She sounds like giving birth! How about repeating calm phrases to yourself? She fell asleep… Finally, can tickling work? Assistant is conscious about her slim waist and huge boobs. But when she chastises him for being unable to do simple tickling, he tickles her until she cannot even stand! This guy is good with his hands…?

Episode 3D
Tejina is in a kimono as she is going to perform some basic Japanese tricks. The first is making paper butterflies flutter. Of course she fails and Assistant does it better. Next is turning paper into udon. But then she carelessly lights the lighter and the sprinkler activates. Ah, here’s your water magic?

Episode 3E
The duo are in the park. What kind of magic trick is she going to do that doesn’t need her to bring her tools? Yeah, she’s going to use the park’s pigeons! Obviously they attack her. The next trick is to climb up the tree and steal pigeon eggs? Obviously they attack her. Worse, she can’t get down. Assistant leaves her handing. Don’t want anything to do with this egg thief. Bye. To add salt to injury, the pigeons poo all over her. Tejina starts crying but no love lost for this idiot!

Episode 4A
To celebrate a month since Assistant’s joining the club, Tejina does some magic tricks for him. Rope cutting messed up. Even the card message trick is messed up. Then when she forcefully tries to put some ring on him to swear his fealty to the magic club, Onee-chan pops up. Sorry to bring the bad news but the magic club is disapproved due to lack of members. Feel free to join other clubs.

Episode 4B
I guess Assistant will be scouting for new clubs. But for every club he went, Tejina is always there trying to do some failed magic tricks! Is this some sort of conspiracy? Don’t tell me it’s magic! He tries to run from her but unfortunately she runs faster than him! Because of that, the track club wants to recruit her. She does join and even runs in record time. However it’s her ploy to recruit them to join her magic club so Assistant takes her away. Let the girls run…

Episode 4C
To fill the void of Assistant leaving, Tejina has brought not 1 but 2 pigeons! She shows how she can take care of them like misting (also accidentally spraying water all over her boobs) as well as letting them out of their cage to let them fly freely (good luck getting them back in). Because one is male and the other female, Assistant wonders if their cooing will be noisy at night. Tejina is confident since pigeons are diurnal, they won’t. Unfortunately the cooing at night never stopped…

Episode 4D
So sad… It’s Assistant’s last day. And what a way to end this with this sword in the box trick. Of course he isn’t getting in the box. With Tejina playing the role of the assistant, Assistant thrusts the swords into the box. The swords miss her but not with a lot of poking and ambiguous lewd words. My butt hurts! Pull it out! Pull it out!!! Once the show is over, it seems the swords have ripped her clothes. Is this fanservice magical or what?

Episode 4E
OMG. Tejina flawlessly doing all her magic tricks?! No, it’s not a dream! It’s real! The catch? She’s doing them alone. Ah… As she ties herself up for this trick and reminiscing about Assistant, suddenly he pops up. Oh dear. Clumsiness back in order. Assistant joined the chemistry club next door but only in name. Since their room is connected, Assistant can come visit her until she retires. Yay! Don’t have to be lonely now, huh? Chemistry club president, Madara allows this as long as they don’t do shameless things. Tejina is touched and what a way to welcome him back with this unfortunate fanservice because she somehow screws up as her rope trick becomes BDSM.

Episode 5A
Because Assistant heard there will be a few observers coming to see the magic club, he doesn’t want her to do any tricks but to stay hidden! Of course Tejina will not allow that and as he deliberates how his cool image in class will be ruined by being associated with this, Tejina is already practising her head falling off trick. As he tries to stop her, those observers come in and see this horror scene! Run for your life! Bet they’ll never come back.

Episode 5B
Onee-chan and Tejina has come up with an improvised clothes changing magic trick. The clothes she changes into get skimpier but Onee-chan convinces her it is just the fabric that has skin tone. But this is just for the first clothes. Subsequent clothes, we get more Tejina fanservice until she is close to being naked! Assistant can’t be thankful enough for this magic trick!

Episode 5C
When Assistant is with Madara, the silence between them is awkward. Hence Madara decides to show her own magic tricks but using the power of science. I’m sure many of us know the difference in pressure and temperature in a bottle causes the bottle to bend out of shape without any physical contact. Assistant is impressed as he tries his hands at some air current scientific experiment. However he starts off too early and it blows up Madara’s skirt. This only reinforces her idea that the magic club is a perverted club.

Episode 5D
Tejina is hiding in a box and plans to surprise Assistant when he comes in. However when he does, he sits on the box. Noticing how quiet and nice it is without her, he starts to complain all about her bad habits and failure as a magician. Ouch. However he starts confessing the only positive thing about her: While it might seem like a confession to Tejina, it is actually a praise for Behemoth. With Tejina in a dilemma whether or not to pretend she heard this, eventually she pops up and gives a long winded rant on her thoughts. Too bad nobody is here. Wasted breath…

Episode 5E
Assistant is invited to Tejina’s house. He thinks her room would be very girly but nope. What a pig sty. Of course Tejina’s goal of inviting him here is to ascertain that confession of his and to give a proper reply. However each time she tries to say that magic word, she falters and ends up doing some lame magic trick instead. Yeah, confession is a trick that is the hardest to do! She even slips up by showing him all her panties collection instead of her handkerchiefs. That is when she comes clean and admits about that confession. However this annoys him as he tells what really happened. Red faced, poor Tejina is now crying over this embarrassing blunder.

Episode 6A
Assistant is troubled that misunderstanding that Tejina thinks he likes her. Though the only thing she admires about her is her boobs. But an equally busty gal comes in, Saki. She plans to hijack the magic club. Of course Tejina won’t allow it but Saki shows a bit of her street performance to leave her in awe. Saki is a transfer student and she has been looking for a club to join. She heard about the magic club closing down and that’s why she’s here. However she wants to make her little brother, Ma-kun the president of this club. From the way she describes this guy, definitely she’s got brother complex. Don’t get your hopes high on this guy. Because we’ve already known, Ma-kun is a really fat dude…

Episode 6B
While having more members means the club is able to carry on, Tejina feels conflicted because this isn’t the kind of magic club she wanted it to be. Then she just decides to upgrade it by splitting the difference and be the street magic club. Ma-kun tries to do some balloon trick but it popped. Yeah, Saki is so awed and excited over this. Like as though she’s having orgasm at everything he does. Saki then tries this balloon outfit trick. She realizes her skirt slipped out but so as not to let this performance fail, she carries on and lets everyone sees her in her undies. Even Ma-kun apologizes on her behalf.

Episode 6C
Tejina won’t have the street performers beat them and has Assistant do some magic tricks with her. Maybe she just wants to show off… Of course we see her fail at every attempt. Some giving us fanservice, some putting Assistant in a troubling spot. With the women arguing what this club is supposed to be, here comes Onee-chan to solve this dispute. She measures their boobs and Tejina wins because hers is heavier. Though, Saki argues she has the better shape…

Episode 6D
Tejina fails at hypnotism. As expected. She tries to do it in the correct order and even tries to look arrogant doing so but also fails. She is so confident that she lets Assistant do hypnotism on her. You can tell he succeeds when he ‘transfers’ her essence to the bottle. So wherever he tickles the bottle, Tejina feels the ticklish effects on her body. Realizing that she is fully hypnotized, Assistant decides to get back at her for all those tormenting times. Heh… Evil scheming face popping up… Remember to lock the door… He creates a scenario that she is going to take a bath in the hotspring. Hence Tejina starts undressing. But soon, Assistant soon feels guilty about taking advantage of her. By the time he tries to stop her, she is already half undressed. He tries to reason she is a cat and she turns into one and scratches his face. This girl is so easily influenced… He gets this idea to cure her stage fright. You are no longer scared on stage… Although he is successful, however she still flops. Still failing at her magic tricks. Should have cured her failure too…

Episode 7A
Saki burnt her cookies so she thinks of seeking Tejina’s help to remake them. So as they wait, she asks why she is so obsessed with the magic club. Anyway, Saki sounds bored hearing her struggling story to keep the club afloat. Saki wants to test some of her cookies but apparently Tejina has laced with something them for Assistant. So the girls give their respective guys to eat their cookies. As Assistant fears, Tejina is surprised when nothing happens after he eats it. It is Ma-kun who gets it. Yeah, now he is pulling flags out from his mouth.

Episode 7B
Tejina is happy to receive funds for the club. Until she sees its meagre amount… Hence they decide to do some fundraising by doing street performance at the park. Tejina tries to copy some guy doing a human statue. It is hard at first but she likes it when a few kids praises how she doesn’t move. Until she realizes they are actually peeking at her panties! Why you little! Meanwhile Saki and Ma-kun do their balloon art and get quite the crowd. Some give money, some give food. Assistant is impressed with them until he sees Saki throwing away rewards that are useless. Checking back on Tejina, they see an old shady guy trying to give her 50 grand! DON’T ACCEPT THAT MONEY!!!

Episode 7C
Tejina wants to show her underwater magic whereby she will escape her chains underwater. Of course Assistant is very worried for her despite her assurance that she has practised many times with success in her bathtub. Stubborn, she goes ahead but he stops her. While she pouts, Saki fakes a drowning so she can be pulled out and Ma-kun do CPR on her. But he just puts some plastic sheet over her face and let her be. Since Tejina is still sulking, Assistant lets her do it but restricts to just her hands being tied. After a few seconds she is not surfacing. Fearing she might be really drowning, he jumps in to save her. She is upset she would have been done in a few more seconds and Assistant realizes he got his hand over her boobs. Who made the most blunder here?

Episode 7D
Assistant thinks of helping her overcome her stage fright since there are moments where she can pull off her performance with ease. As he records her, she starts getting nervous. Hence he starts from the beginning. Here, perform to this cicada shell… As he ‘upgrades’ her ‘audience’, she finally baulks while performing in front of him despite he is blindfolded. No use crying about this. So Assistant lets he practice before a life sized cardboard cut-out of, uhm, himself? Unknown to Tejina, he is hiding behind it. She performs her magic without screwing up. Assistant is so happy for her that he bursts out from his hiding. Realizing she was being watched, she starts getting anxiety attacks. It is déjà vu all over again because her stress level has peaked until she vomits all over him.

Episode 8A
Assistant thought Tejina is going to show him some sexy Chinese magic. Turns out it is some mask changing technique. Each have their theory on how his trick is done. Especially a guy hidden behind the performer to swap mask. They also experiment with this and one time Tejina was hiding behind Saki but because Saki’s hair is long and thick, this makes it unbreathable for her. Simply she tries to grab and rip her mask but accidentally she rips open her shirt! Oops…

Episode 8B
Tejina tries to impress Assistant with her mentalist magic trick. You know, deciphering what one is thinking based on their facial expressions. After a few lucky guesses, she is full of herself so it is Assistant to return the favour and he easily reads her like a book. Because her actions are so obvious. Please stop! This is embarrassing! And then her stomach growls. No prizes to guess she’s hungry…

Episode 8C
Some farmer gave Tejina lots of mikan. So she’s going to try and do some magic trick with them. Not really some magic trick but more of like some picture pun. Later when she tries to peel them, she gets juice squirted in her eyes.

Episode 8D
Tejina shows off the club’s website. It is so hideous and low quality that sometimes it looks scary! But Saki to the rescue. She gives it a digital makeover but how come it now looks like a shady website?! Assistant blows his top for it to be redone because he fears some pervy old man might mistake this and will hire Tejina to make shady videos! After redoing it and Tejina adding its final touches, it looks even worse and shadier! Assistant just redoes it all again himself. If you want something done, do it yourself.

Episode 8E
Tejina is tasked to perform before kindergarten children. Having stage fright? While she accidentally broke her wand, the kids think it is real and are impressed. This boosts Tejina’s baseless confidence as she proceeds to do more of her simple tricks like some reverse picture (WTF is that drawing anyway?) and the simple disappearing magic of quickly hiding them while the kids are distracted. The impressed kids think she is hiding them in her body and proceed to molest all over her body. Is this considered her greatest success?

Episode 9A
Tejina’s magic trick this time involves everyone writing their wishes in an envelope and she can magically tell whom it belongs too. Of course she rigged it with a mark on the envelope’s corner. The problem: She forgot which corner belongs to whom! Guesswork time. All wrong! Assistant takes over and has everyone writes something they won’t admit. He can easily guess who is who and when it is Tejina’s one, how come it’s blank? She thinks she is a smartass claiming she has nothing to write but this has everyone fed up and leave the room.

Episode 9B
Tejina and Saki are taking a remedial exam. While waiting for the teacher, Tejina thinks of showing Saki some magic trick with this number game and trapping her with it. Unfortunately Tejina loses and begs for another chance. Saki knows how to circumvent this trick just by looking at Tejina’s reaction. Just when Tejina thinks she has won, she does an air punch but holy cow, she punched the teacher!!! I guess she’s not coming into the club today.

Episode 9C
Tejina trolls everyone by bringing an ice cream box. It sounds like it has something but it’s empty instead. Everyone so annoyed with the heat already that they force her to buy them real ice cream. She tries to make her ice cream spoon disappear but she drops it instead. Now must she eat ice cream with her hand? With Saki complaining about doing summer-like things like going to the beach, Assistant watches Tejina’s obvious eager body reaction despite her words sound like she’s doing them all a favour. Yup, to the beach then.

Episode 9D
But first everyone goes to buy a swimsuit. Yeah, I guess there is only a reason why the guys accompany the girls to do so. With Tejina asking Assistant for his opinion, this guy is in a dilemma. He really wants to see her in some naughty swimsuit but fears he sound hard up for it. Hence Ma-kun teaches him some psychological tricks albeit they sound like fraud. With Assistant still whining about it, Ma-kun just takes the sexy swimsuit and gives it to Tejina. Actually it is Saki who wears it and while it may be good news for Assistant, I guess Ma-kun didn’t appreciate seeing his sister like that. Because Saki now thinks little bro wants her in this. And somehow Tejina messed up and wore her swimsuit backwards… Later Tejina thinks the changing room is like a magic set. She thinks of tricking Assistant by shifting her shoes to the next cubicle. When she calls him, he will be shocked to find her cubicle is empty and thinks she has disappeared. Unfortunately the store clerk returns the shoes to Tejina’s cubicle seeing she noticed nobody is in that cubicle. So when Tejina calls for Assistant, he opens the curtains only to see a sexy Tejina in her undies. Tejina, you looking shock for a person setting up this magic trick. Personally if you ask me, I think this magic trick works! Thanks, senpai!

Episode 10A
Beach episode! Since the girls are full of energy, they swim out to sea while the lacklustre guys stay on the beach and play their handheld. The current is too strong and washes away their top. Tejina has magic sand that will serve as temporary bra when mixed with water. However it dissolves the moment it is out of water. Don’t fear. Saki has some balloons. So they wear them as a body suit until they get to land. But as they approach the boys, they step on something sharp. Pop! Free fanservice today?

Episode 10B
Assistant sees Madara observing a crab. She gets embarrassed after she notices him. Apparently her grandma lives nearby. Then she has him lie down on his stomach. No, nothing naughty is going to happen. This is to watch the sunset. When the sun has sunk over the horizon, then she has him stand up. There is still sunset. Yeah, the magic of science that explains why the Earth is round that would piss off many flat Earth believers. When he points out to her swimsuit that would probably feel cold once night falls, she gets embarrassed and runs away.

Episode 10C
Assistant invites Madara to split the watermelon with the rest. Ma-kun goes first but Saki leads him to a different ‘watermelon’. Yeah, sleep in her boobs! Ma-kun then buries her in the sand and lets another takeover. It’s Madara’s turn so she explains some secret trick to smash it. Unfortunately she has poor sense of direction so she fails. Finally it is Tejina’s turn. Too bad this girl is so panicky that she accidentally smacks everyone with the stick. You can imagine how frightened Saki is when it’s her turn… Oh sh*t… In the end, it’s total annihilation. Except the watermelon still intact.

Episode 10D
Time to play the fireworks and Assistant won’t let Tejina do any tricks, knowing better that Tejina and fire don’t go together. She burnt down the club once, you know. Then she tries to do some money switching burning trick. She uses the flames as distraction and the darkness to conceal her trick. Too bad she screws up and burns the real money instead… She tries to do the same trick with the flash paper. But the fire got bigger instead and she accidentally throws it to their pile of fireworks. Wow. Now the fireworks are all lit! After managing to put it all out, I guess it’s time to console this poor loser girl. Everything isn’t lost as Madara has some leftover sparklers from grandma. The magic moment of Tejina commenting how times like these make them closer, sputter out because her sparkler burns out and drops on her feet. Ouch!

Episode 11A
Tejina is trying some disappearing balls trick that won’t work. I guess Assistant has to hear her out. Typically, her sweaty palms is part of the problem. She then thinks it is because her hands are small. Shouldn’t she get smaller balls then? She puts her hand on Assistant’s to compare. He compliments them and thinks they don’t need to be the same size. However he realizes her palm is sweaty and retracts everything. Quick wash those stickiness off!

Episode 11B
Assistant walks into the clubroom to see Saki ‘dead’. Apparently she sniffed on Ma-kun’s garbage and he caught her red-handed. Now he won’t talk to her. Yeah, a death sentence. To alleviate some of the gloom, Saki has a hand puppet of Ma-kun and explains how ventriloquism works. She has Assistant do ventriloquism on her Ma-kun hand puppet but gets annoyed when he says the wrong thing. But to thank him, she trolls him by preparing to give him a kiss. It’s just a hand puppet of Tejina! He can have it. After she leaves, Assistant peaks underneath the hand puppet’s skirt. White…

Episode 11C
Assistant is shocked when Ma-kun asks if Tejina has a boyfriend. You mean he is interested?! Actually, he saw her with another man another day. Although Assistant brushes it off, they all go tail her. At the family restaurant, they see her practising her failed magic trick and eat cakes by herself before rushing to the toilet in the convenience store. Nothing happens for half a day until this man, Mimura shows up. Assistant looking pretty worried. Real tailing begins. Ma-kun tries to analyse this dude. So he is some sort of porn director? They head to the mall and because they talk in ambiguous language like as though they are preparing for a porn shoot, Assistant is trying real hard to keep himself from going berserk. Especially when they hit the lingerie store! In the end, Assistant can’t take any more of this and tries to rescue her. It is revealed Mimura is Onee-chan’s husband and Tejina was helping him to shop for a birthday gift. Wow. What a big relief. Right, Assistant? Yeah, Mimura is actually a pretty nice guy. When Tejina hears what happened, she laughs it off. Assistant feels this is somehow scary.

Episode 12A
Assistant hears ambiguous sex porn coming from the clubroom. Of course as you would expect, it is just Saki teaching how to make balloon art. Since it is quite hard, Tejina is having fears twisting it. She somewhat gives up and her balloon turns out to look like a dick?! Eventually when she manages to do so, it pops and all that is left of her doggie balloon is now a cod roe. So sad…

Episode 12B
Tejina thinks of showing Assistant this shackle escaping trick. But after hiding behind the curtains and having not come out, Assistant takes a peep and behold! She’s not there? Is this a disappearing trick too? Actually she is hiding inside the closet and this is part of her plan to surprise him. However the locker is stuck and he already left. So you mean she is stuck in there for the entire day because come night fall as the guard comes in to inspect, the locker somehow opens and gives him a fright of his life! Woah! Who this sleeping babe?!

Episode 12C
Madara shows Assistant the power of science of freezing cola. Tejina feels a bit jealous he is having fun talking with her. This makes her wonder if he has been attending secret science meetings or something. Assistant tries to save Madara from something drop on her. As he falls on top of her, this gives Tejina the wrong idea. So now Tejina wants to impress by showing her magic? You could have guessed her cloth pulling trick fails. Now she’s all wet. Madara has them dry up using the fan. So cooling. Power of science rules. She is proud that they are praising science but soon Saki and Ma-kun shows up and Madara feels they have overstayed their welcome. Can you guys leave now?

Episode 12D
As Assistant is sleeping, Tejina thinks of doing some quiet magic trick. Can she? Because she almost flops doing her pigeon trick. Are the pigeons being horny today as they try to put her in ecchi situations? Luckily Assistant is still asleep so Tejina continues stacking cards on him. It is revealed he is pretending to be asleep and now he is in a lurch.

Episode 12E
Tejina’s to fight her stage fright, she wears a revealing bunny suit to be more embarrassed! But yeah, thanks. Because of her cleavage showing, Assistant can’t take his eyes of her boobs and didn’t see her magic tricks well. I guess you can say this is the basic of how magic tricks work, eh? Because of that, Tejina looks successful. See that great cup trick? Yup. Those are great cups alright! Truly amazing! Bravo!

Fanservice Senpai: The Magic Of Fanservice!
There you have it people. That’s all folks. That’s all the magic fanservice tricks we have for you today. Be sure to come back again next season for more amazing boobs magic tricks. Uhm… What’s that you say? You mean this series is cancelled and won’t be getting another season???!!! At least not in the foreseeable future?! Like WTF?! You mean those boobs didn’t do the trick?! Damn. It felt a bit weird that there is no ‘wrapping up’ episode and the last episode just felt like any other normal episode so I thought there’s going to be more. Yeah, I was wrong. I don’t know where I get that idea but I can understand and feel it is more or less the same how Tejina gets her baseless confidence from.

Basically with no real storyline to begin with and even each short episode is furthermore divided into short skits, this series’ comedic moments mostly deals with around the flaws of the characters. So you either love it or hate it that there is all to this series. Surely you’re not going to expect some sort of complicated story and back story, aren’t you? Just like a magician’s desire to entertain us, that is what this series is precisely set to do. No convoluted and twisted plots whatsoever. What you see is what you get. When show is over, you leave with a satisfied feeling of being entertained. So for me, they did that part well and with some skits only lasting a few minutes long, it does enough to deliver the punch line and the joke. Usually with Tejina flopping.

Tejina is probably one of those people who could have been good in doing something they love had not been that one little thing that prevents them from achieving such greatness. It might look funny that she suffers from stage fright seeing that she wants to be a magician, but remember, public speaking is the top phobia in the world. It’s like saying you want to be a doctor but scared of seeing blood. Nothing new or surprising but rather ironic. But the most important aspect is how Tejina doesn’t give up and I guess you have to give her credit for that. Again, there is only so much credit you can give her until she starts becoming annoying. An ‘A’ for effort and trying but don’t go overboard. Given an inch, take a mile…

Because Tejina is also a bit naïve, this also plays a part in why she gives us a lot of fanservice. Yes, people. It is like as though all her backfired magic tricks are supposed to lead to some fanservice. Or maybe they’re not planned and it serves as a backup. What I mean is that if you’re not impressed with Tejina flopping on the simplest magic tricks, at least we have some sort of consolation of her getting entangled in a fanservice situation. She’s probably hard up and would do anything to wow some audience that if Assistant wasn’t there to look out for her, she would have ended up in some shady porn shoot! I wonder if there is a secret DVD title, Porn-senpai… This one would definitely be magical!!! After all, she wants people to watch her, right? Sex sells, right? Voila!

We’d love to see the love prospects between Tejina and Assistant but if they do become a couple it will still be weird and more or less the same thing. There are lots of hints to see why the duo like each other like why Tejina keeps performing and flopping before Assistant is not because she thinks he is interested in her tricks but rather he is the only one around who would pay attention to them no matter how much they stinks. Assistant might give this lame excuse to accompany her lonely club till she graduates but we can see through the reasons why he sticks around. No, not waiting for the moment where he gets to touch her boobs or see her pantsu. Those are bonus points in which I believe he enjoys a lot too but I’m assuming nobody in class gives him much attention like Tejina does. She might be annoying bugging him to show him her tricks but at least she is HIS annoyance! So there you have it. A magician and her assistant with no audience to entertain have at least themselves to entertain. Hence Assistant’s role here is to play more of the straight man to Tejina’s foul ups. Definitely living up to his (nick)namesake. They could be a manzai comedy duo if they get bored of this magician thingy.

The rest of the other characters, I guess they are okay. It gives a little variety because we’ll be bored in seeing just Tejina and Assistant all the time. Hence the odd sibling pair of Saki and Ma-kun with the former with brother complex and the latter trying to look smart by being a mentalist but more often fails too. Technically the duo have better skills in their street balloon art than Tejina. But it’s the only trick I see them do although they excel at it. So is a one trick pony better than jack of all trades who flops hard? Last but not least is Madara who feels like a fringe character. She makes very limited appearance (only to be outdone by Onee-chan) and I thought she would at least be a regular like Saki and Ma-kun. But I guess magic and science don’t mix so can’t have science girl stealing away Assistant’s heart with science because dumb magic bloopers are better, no? And WTF is her fashion sense of wearing black tights under a lab coat? Is this her fanservice to us?

At and animation are okay. Nothing to really shout about and sometimes with all the bright visuals and hues as well as the character designs, it might look a bit cartoonish. Like Assistant with his droopy eyes somehow keep reminding me of that Droopy the dog cartoon character. And Ma-kun being so plum and chubby that he looks like he came out from a cartoon rather than anime. And does Tejina have fangs? For some reason, Tejina reminds me of Dagashi Kashi’s Hotaru. Just a lot dumber. Tejina and Saki’s boobs are so big that it looks like as though they stuck compressed balloons there. This series is produced by Lidenfilms who did Koi To Uso, Yamada And The Seven Witches, Kishuku Gakkou No Juliet and Hanebado.

For the voice acting, I only recognized Eri Kitamura as Saki. Her character might not be a totally b*tch character but I guess my stereotypic views of Eri Kitamura playing b*tch girls and ganguro type gals suit her voice perfectly. Kaede Hondo is the voice of Tejina (Sakura in Zombie Land Saga). While she does sound good as her character but I thought it would be ultimately perfect if Kana Hanazawa had been the one who helmed this role. At some points I think my head started envisioning and hearing Kana Hanazawa behind this character. Yeah, it would have been so epic for her to be in this role. The other casts are Aoi Ichikawa as Assistant (Eita in Just Because), Daisuke Namikawa as Ma-kun (Rock in Black Lagoon), Rie Takahashi as Madara (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimaru Isekai Seikatsu) and Himika Akaneya as Onee-chan (Yatsumura in Mahou Shoujo Site). The opening theme, Fantastic Illusion by Iris sounds weird. At least it starts off weird. Like Tejina. Before it becomes a generic idol pop piece. I somewhat prefer the ending theme, Dame Wa Dame by Minori Suzuki. It has this sultry and fanatic pace to it. Somewhat reflecting Tejina’s life, huh?

Overall, not the greatest magician in the world no mind blowing magic tricks were shown or explained, not the greatest comedy of the season because the jokes may look cheap and certainly not the greatest ecchi of the year because they feel forced and cliché for the jokes to be told. Not great fapping material but still good if you have nothing else. Just like Tejina’s magic, this series might miss the mark in a lot of areas but if you are not picky and a simpleton (like yours truly), you are sure to be entertained. And then a better show comes next season and you’ll forget all about this one. It would be magic and a miracle if this series gets another season. It’s the only way to keep the ‘magic’ alive, right? But I have seen all the tricks in her hand and up her sleeves as well as the way she thinks, I won’t be surprised any more. Time to drop in yet another magical fanservice. Yeah, it’s one trick that many of us won’t ever get tired of.

Oh my. Looks like it is the fireman’s turn. A fireman’s turn to f*ck his woman in this mini hentai! This isn’t the first uniformed personnel to get its porn treatment since we had that prison guard one a few seasons ago. But nevertheless, Yubisaki Kara Honki No Netsujou Osananajimi Wa Shouboushi feels like a trap than mere coincidence because in that same season we had another fireman themed series, Enen No Shouboutai. Is fireman the in-thing this season? Those who were currently watching that supernatural sci-fi may be confused stumbling into this one and then, gotcha! WTF is this f*cking sex porn???!!! Then you start jerking off so fast that your dick is on fire and you have to call the fire force to put out this blazing passion! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… Oh boy…

Episode 1
Ryou Fujihashi isn’t enjoying her gathering with her old friends. Especially Souma Mizuno who is teasing her and that he is some sort of a womanizer. That night she wakes up as she hears sirens. Her place is on fire! Trapped, she calls for help but soon laments succumbing to her fate. That is when Souma as a fireman breaks him to rescue her. Even protecting her from a falling cupboard! When it’s over, he scolds him for not continuing to make noise because he thought she was dead. With no place to stay, he invites her to stay at his place. And in no time she makes it like her own home and even marks her territory? When she sees his back injury, she feels bad but crosses the line. Literally. Because now that she enters his ‘territory’, he rapes her! WTF?! So this is how it starts? Literally fingering her and she feels so good. Since she cannot be the only one to have fun, I guess he starts unzipping his pants. Don’t worry. He won’t penetrate her. Just using her thighs. Even so, Ryou feels so good?! Damn porn logic. Oh sh*t. Now you cum all over your bed. You sleeping there tonight?

Episode 2
Since Souma is having his day off, he accompanies Ryou to get her paper work done among other things. On their way home, it suddenly rains. Time to prepare for bath. Oh dear. I can see where this is going. Because while Ryou is taking a shower, suddenly Souma comes in! I know it’s his home but has he got no respect for women in the bath?! Damn, porn logic… Obviously his switch is turned on so he starts fondling her. Especially using the shower head to gush the water into her sensitive areas. Oh yeah. B*tches like her always feel good no matter what, no? Even if she says no, her body seems to indicate otherwise. That is all Souma needs to continue making out with her. Sex interrupted when the power goes out. Saved by the outage. Uh huh. Ryou starting to think had this not happened, she would have gone all the way. And I’m not so surprised even if it did. Ryou returns to work as her colleagues are glad she is back. Oh, what’s this? They’re having a fire evacuation drill today? Oh man…

Episode 3
Yup, that fireman over there… That’s Souma. During the drill, a colleague, Megumi Sasahara clumsily sprays the fire extinguisher over Ryou. Don’t worry. Souma has got spare clothes. Damn, I can see where this is going. As she changes, Souma has noticed Ryou has been avoiding him ever since so he forces himself on her to spill the beans. Or else? She gets raped! So of course, porn logic dictates that it is better to get your modesty outraged than telling the truth. The truth of either his dick feels good inside her or that she loves him. Or both. The extreme molestation even continues when Megumi comes in to check on her. Uh huh. Souma continues to rape her and unfortunately Megumi can’t even tell with that shaky voice there is something wrong. Just a mild assurance is enough to send her away. Oddly, after Ryou cums, she has enough strength to just kick him out? The firemen discuss about the upcoming fireworks and want to invite some girls over. Yuuki Izumi and Jun Hase know Souma is having a fight with Ryou and tease him about it. Since Souma continues to deny, Hase then hints some yaoi gay moments with him if he keeps acting like an idiot. Souma sees Ryou and you know how women like her don’t learn her lesson because it sounds like all is forgiven if he sounds a bit apologetic and then invites her to the fireworks festival. Next rape set in motion…

Episode 4
I guess everything is okay when he agrees to do whatever she wants so as to make it up to her. Don’t believe those lies!!! At the festival, they spot Hase. Seems he is troubled that a restaurant he is looking for is now closed. Ryou remembers they just shifted to a new place nearby and offers to take him there. After guiding him there, Hase asks if she is dating Souma. Nope. Just a childhood friend. In that case, can he date her? Nice joke, buddy. Ryou returns to Souma in one piece and this guy bought a beautiful hairpin for her. Yeah, is this part of the ticket to her heart pussy? They find a secret spot to watch the fireworks alone. Souma pretty much praising everything he admires about Ryou. Is this to get her defence down? Because when the fireworks start, pretty much the cue for him to start molesting her. Ryou is shocked. This isn’t what she had in mind when he said he’ll make it up to her. Blame yourself for not foreseeing this. Ryou getting her orgasm by a handsome macho guy underneath the beautiful fireworks display… Wow. Everything so perfect. No wonder she can’t complain…

Episode 5
Now we have penetrative sex. This is one of those rare times where the sound effects (the fireworks in this case) does a bad job in covering up the important words the characters want to say (Ryou’s moaning in this case). And then they cum together. What does Souma have to say after all that? That’s a nice yukata on her. A little late… And with Ryou thinking she might be falling for him, hence inviting him to the beach? Uh huh. Nothing says that more than to further test whether you’re in love with this guy. Or maybe she just really wants his dick. Of course it won’t be just them as it will be with their friends. They play beach volleyball and prior to that, Hase makes a bet with the other guys that the winner will get the right to approach the girls. Though it is ‘publically announced’ that the loser will clean the BBQ pit. Souma is sad since he isn’t paired with Ryou. Yeah, she’s paired with Hase and she is going all out to win! Oh, and she mentions she did play volleyball during her high school. Can’t have her winning, right? Does femdom sound right for this series? Will Souma finally get his just desserts?

Episode 6
Hase is getting along with Ryou pretty well. Yeah, it’s like the end of the world for Souma. Even during BBQ and preparing the fireworks, it’s like they’ve been friends for a long time. But you know this has to stop. Because Hase asks Ryou to date him. Souma is just her childhood friend, right? I guess this has her thinking. Later as Ryou and Souma are putting away the stuffs, Ryou thinks nobody will be using the pool and jumps in. Just like that? Is she trying to get wet in all sense?! Then Souma jumps in and starts f*cking her! I guess he is pretty wet too! Fireworks starting. Déjà vu cue to make out. Yeah, sex in the swimming pool. Nothing says reigniting your pseudo love with a hot pool sex. Then she notes how big Souma’s hands when he fingers her. Because it makes me think which is bigger: Souma’s finger or his dick???!!! Haha!

Episode 7
Ryou thinks something is wrong with herself to let Souma f*ck her like that. Yeah, it’s called you’re a horny thirsty wet b*tch! Haha! Oops… Anyway, with Ryou giving him ‘permission’ to go all in, I hope Souma’s cum don’t flow back out and contaminate the pool. Ryou asks how he feels for her. If he is just her childhood friend. Before he can answer, they have to split since people are coming back. But Ryou can look forward to an answer when he invites her out on her day off. As Ryou walks by the community centre, she notices an arsonist. Right away she calls Souma (shouldn’t she call the police?!) but the arsonist spots her and chases her. She looks like she has hid well from him but the script says she must screw up and be caught. Dumb arsonist tries to strangle her but luckily Souma is able to tackle him. Wow. Is the fire station close by for Souma to arrive this fast? Even if there is a fire reported at a nearby factory, can Souma actually know where the f*ck Ryou was? I mean, she was being strangled in the alley! Of course duty over love as Souma goes to put out the fire and search for survivors. As his team caries them out, suddenly the fire spreads and locks them in. Oh no!

Episode 8
Last episode’s cliff-hanger… Nothing happens! Everybody gets out fine. Somehow. Hey, this is not a fire rescue drama. When Souma returns home, Ryou is so happy he is fine. He spots a bruise on her feet and starts to lick it. Are you sure about starting on this feet fetish? Then he tries to get it on with her but of course everything that has happened so far has confused the hell out of her. To put it shortly, she thinks he wants an easy girl to have sex with and ironically despite her claims she is otherwise, why does she let him do her in? Doesn’t that make her easy? And of course, cue for Souma to reassure her that he only wants to have sex with her. Still not convince? Spam I love you until she gives in. Oh yeah. I guess that’s enough confusion for today. Now is the cue to have sex! Feel it, baby! Let it go deep inside you! Oh yeah. Is this love she is feeling?! In the aftermath, they continue dating. Happy ever after. The end.

You Can Never Ever Extinguish The Flames Of Horniness!
Heh. That was it. Everything felt so rush and cheap. And once again porn logic telling us that once you’ve f*cked a woman enough times, she will eventually fall for you. Oh Ryou, now you can be part of that statistic. I’m sure their sex is going to get more intense after this and that now they are dating. Because going by that same logic, sex = love, right? Oh well, as long as they’re happy f*cking each other and we enjoy seeing them having intercourse, all’s well ends well.

I suppose there is nothing to tell and no storyline whatsoever. Heh. A plot in hentai flicks? But what I’m trying to say is that, last season’s washer hentai had only 8 episodes. This season seems to follow that pattern of having again only 8 episodes. Because when you have been watching this kind of series ever since this weird trend started about 2 years ago, you somewhat expect more or less the same thing. The girl gets f*cked in every episode and even had this series had the basic 12 episodes, we are going to expect the girl getting f*cked in those episodes too. After all, what else were you expecting when you watch this series? It would be more shocking had an episode not feature that kind of sex at all. And so it is not the number of episodes, but the f*cking quality! Oh yeah. Was the f*cking scenes exciting? Well, if you ask me, pretty meh. I’m so immune at this point that I’m starting to worry that such normal vanilla sex may no longer be appealing to me! Gasp! A sign I should stop watching such genres? Well you know me…

And so as you can expect, this season’s porn series didn’t make any impact on me at all. I’m now feeling like an old broken tape recorder saying the same things over and over again. It’s that timely reminder like you would expect me to say at this point. Uh huh. You know, how the woman lets the man f*ck her and do as his wish with her body and pussy just because he makes her feel good. Added bonus that they are childhood friends so you bet that relationship brings in some confusion to her. Yeah, I know this dude and he isn’t exactly a total stranger. Should I let him f*ck or not? Oops. Too late. His dick is already in my pussy. And it feels so damn good!!!! Hahaha!!! Yeah. That’s how I felt watching each time Ryou lets Souma f*ck her. You can never beat porn logic. I wonder if they were making a pun when they decided to use this fireman theme this time. Because putting out fire leads to rekindling of the old flame… Then sex ensues… Damn porn logic!

They try to put in a little bit of drama because Ryou’s colleague-cum-buddy has been hinting he is interested in Ryou. But this as expected amounts to nothing. So I have 2 theories for why this is so. Firstly, with somebody interested in the girl you have been f*cking with, it speeds up the need that you need to ‘claim’ this ‘sex object’. Instead of the status quo of Souma and Ryou having a loveless sexual relationship, at least when they become official, it is like the stamp that allows others to take notice not to touch your girl (unless you’re into cheating but that’s a whole different matter). The faster the better. My other theory is that Hase isn’t really interested in Ryou but noticing that Souma is dragging his feet on this, he makes his move so that Souma is forced to move. Either way, you bet Souma and Ryou get closer one f*ck at a time. Hahaha!

Even if this is basic straight hetero porn, some scenes here suggest there may be yaoi BL. Especially that one scene of Hase cornering Souma suggestively. Thankfully no yaoi gay sex here because it would have been really weird and sick if Hase is revealed to actually have a crush on Souma!!! WTF???!!! DON’T WANT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! Phew. Sorry for you BL fans if you got your hopes up. Because of the firemen are very muscular and buffed, it does give off that vibe that there may be BL. After all, you see the promotional poster having our 3 fireman guys posing sexily and shirtless, showing off their godly abs. I would have thought so and gave this series a pass did I not read the synopsis carefully. And a few times. Also, looking at how big and buff Souma and his fire fighting buddies, I thought they were those muscular guys from Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru, another anime that aired in the same season. Heh. So… Enen No Shouboutai x Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru + hentai = Yubisaki Kara Honki No Netsujou Osananajimi Wa Shouboushi! Unfortunately I didn’t get to measure with Souma’s buffed size, his dick would equally be in correlation and super huge! Haha! Yeah, those censors ‘ruined’ my perspective. But nah. It would have hurt Ryou so much, know what I’m saying?

The art and animation looks pretty standard. That itself is pretty good for a hentai genre. Yeah, perhaps I wasn’t really paying close attention since my eyes were more often rolling at the porn logic and when the main characters start making out. Really! I guess Studio Houkiboshi who is producing their first ever anime, they might want to get things off at the right footing. But I want to note that if there was an eyebrow raising factor other than the porn logic, it would be the ending theme, Blazing Luv. It sounds weird. So weird that it is close to being bad. Because it sounds like a mess with the dubstep in the background and then our fireman trio who sing this piece sound as flat as ever. Yeah, some weird synthesizer effects in some parts too. Had this piece being sung by better professional (AKA better sounding) voices and to a different beat and pace, it might have sounded a lot better. Though, the tune itself is generic but passable by my standards.

Overall, this is another usual mediocre anime hentai for the season. Despite me b*tching about how bad this sort of genre is, I guess it only shows my hypocrisy because I’m still watching these shows. Hey, if I don’t watch it, I’ll never come to this conclusion of how bad this pseudo hentai animes would be like. And now I can truly say they are because I’ve watched most of them. Heh. That doesn’t make me happy at all nor do should I feel proud about it. And now that we have the firemen being tainted, time will only tell when other professions like police officers, doctors, soldiers and even lawyers will get their turn in this. I am sure this anime won’t give people the wrong impressions about fireman. Maybe a small number will but for the big normal majority, we won’t be calling the emergency hotline for them to come rushing and put out our blazing flame of luv…!!! Remember, people. Please be responsible when calling for emergencies and also when having sex.

Miru Tights

October 4, 2019

I guess it has come down to this. We’ve basically run out of ideas on how to attract people to see your work. And what they say it’s true about the oldest profession in the world as well as sex sells. While I’m not talking about porn or anything hentai, looks like the easiest way to attract the attention of guys especially single horny otaku males is to do a show with some sort of sexy appeal. Remember that short series whereby women of different outfit flash to you their panties but with an angry face? Uh huh. If that was a bit too much for you to handle (wuss!), then let’s scale down a bit. Now we have a series that focuses on a group of girls in tights. Yes. Tights. Miru Tights. Heh, even the name doesn’t shy away of what it’s supposed to mean. Seeing Tights. No plot whatsoever but just watching a group of close friends do whatever in tights. Yes. Tights. Somebody here definitely has tights fetish. Oh, what about me, you say? I’m just checking out of curiosity and see what’s so great about tights… Honest! Please don’t be such a tight-assed!

Episode 1
What a way to start a school new tem with a rainy and wet day. Homi Moegi alights from her car but accidentally steps on a puddle. Her shoes and tights are now wet. Ren Aikawa and Yua Nakabeni are already complaining how the rain is drenching their tights and even more baffling when Homi is now soaked. Well, she thought since she is already half wet, might as well go step on more puddles! Hey, gotta have fun while you’re at it. No point being a wet blanket. I wonder why they didn’t even consider taking off their tights since they’re feeling so uncomfortable in it. And just when Homi has the common sense to take it off, her friends won’t let her. At least not in class where everyone can see. As she tries to head out to the changing room, too late. Homeroom teacher Yuiko Okuzumi is here.

Episode 2
Maid outfit with tights… I APPROVE!!! Yua is taking pictures of herself in this sexy maid cosplay and posting them online for all her fans. In record time, she gets a lot of comments and retweets. Damn right. These people sure have good taste!!! She takes a poll on what to cosplay next. You mean, I can’t have more maid cosplays? Hence she cosplays as a bunny girl followed by a nurse. Not a big fan of those but she’s still sexy as hell. Finally when she takes requests on what to cosplay next, many want a high school girl. Ren who has been watching this is worried because this might give her identity away. Fortunately, Yua wears a different school uniform instead of her real one. Like nobody can recognize her face, right? Can they?!

Episode 3
In class, Homi realizes her tights is slightly ripped. She wants to take it off but Ren stops her. This causes her own tights to be ripped. So now she blames Homi for all this and everyone is going to see this? What’s the problem? They got another ‘comrade’ because Yua too has her tights somewhat ripped. She woke up late and her haste to put it on, she accidentally ripped them. But thankfully they have spares. However when Yua puts them on, it rips. Damn poor quality. Because Ren laughs like mad, Yua gets her revenge by scratching her tights. Truly, poor quality material. Homi then joins in this weird wrestling game. In the end, the trio attend class with ripped tights. Worse off than before.

Episode 4
Ren works part time as a waitress in a café. I’m pretty sure that she is part of the attraction of why some of the customers patron this place. Yeah, those sexy tights, baby. At the end of the day, Ren complains that she has been working so hard that her legs are aching. She didn’t expect this job to be that busy. Well, master says it wasn’t. Until she came… And he can’t afford to get another helper. So deal with it? Ren gets a call from her friends to go karaoke. I guess that busted away her fatigue. Count her in. Master couldn’t be more thankful that with Ren continuing to work here, his café will be good for a while.

Episode 5
Homi is running late for her swimming club. Only after she enters the clubroom and changes halfway did she realize that the club’s schedule had changed. What a waste to have woke up so early so she sleeps on the bench. So when her swimming mates come by to wake her up, they are appalled to see her sleep this way. Swimsuits + tights. Is this sort of a new fashion? Since it is hot in class, Homi can’t help use her skirt to fan. Her friends don’t want her to casually do that but Homi is not worried since she is wearing her swimsuit underneath. However they point out that she already had her club activities this morning and her swimsuit is hung out to dry. So that means she has been giving the guys a free show of her pantsu… Man, Homi no shame. Even the guys are having that embarrassed look on their face and trying to pretend to ignore.

Episode 6
As punishment for being talkative, the trio are forced to learn the traditional tea etiquette by Okuzumi. As Ren drinks the tea, Yua plays a prank by tickling her numb legs. She manages to hold it in until the class is over. Once done, Ren is going to get her revenge. However both girls have their legs numb so they fall over each other in some weird floor wrestling fashion. They notice Homi is okay. Can she really sit like that for an hour? Homi sounds like she is used to it but when she gets up, she immediately falls down. Looks like she didn’t even know that her legs went numb!

Episode 7
During a test, a guy can’t help stare at Okuzumi’s ass and tights. Yeah… Okuzumi knows because of his guilty looking face and the way he averts his eyes when their eyes meet. So she has him stay back after school. Gulp. Okuzumi wants to know what is bothering him since he got zero on his test! Damn, was that distraction so effective?! Anyway, she claims she can help him and is serious about it. But wimpy boy thinks he doesn’t need her advice and instead has something more important to say. But did Okuzumi catch on? Because she is caressing his thighs with her feet!!! She can help solve his problem directly… Then he wakes up. Must be a dream. But then he notices something down there. And Okuzumi just fresh in putting her tights back on and claims it was great. F*cking cock teaser!!! WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED???!!!

Episode 8
Ren’s feet is hurting thanks to overworking. Yua offers to do a reflexology massage on her foot. She knows because her parents went to Taiwan to take the same. Why does her depiction show them in pain? Oh well, looks can be deceiving. Ren lets Yua do the honours as it starts to get a little ambiguous. Ren showing us her orgasmic face while Yua looking like a sadist who is enjoying every single bit of it. Even their dialogue is so ambiguous. It’s our first time. Be gentle. You’ll feel better in no time. Yua must be so good that it looked like Ren climaxed. Those liquid droplets are sweat, right? Since they’re so loud, this woke up Okuzumi who was probably next door snoozing. She keeps this to herself and hopes they keep their volume down.

Episode 9
Homi and Yua are doing a study session. With a kotatsu. Yeah… Most of the viewpoints are from underneath the kotatsu… No wonder it is so warm and fuzzy here… With Yua trying to study buy Homi just lazing around, I guess the last straw is when Homi tries to monopolize Yua’s pet cat. And now the study session is off and a ‘standoff’ over the cat. WTF Homi trying to bait the kitty with her pussy???!!! WTF???!!! And then some argument on whose thighs are softer instead of muscular. You think the cat cares with your ‘threats’???!!!

Episode 10
Homi’s brother is looking at porn instead of studying. He thinks of putting it away so he can study when his sister comes in! Phew! Thank goodness didn’t catch him with his pants down. It seems she wants to clean his ear. She tried it herself but she wasn’t satisfied. So now she wants to do his? He only relents because it looks like he has tights fetish. While she cleans his ear, this dude suddenly has a boner? Yeah. Awkward. He hints it is because of her he has tights fetish. He struggles to get away but Homi won’t let him. Now he has got his head stuck deep in between her thighs. This guy is going to get more trauma when Homi continues to tease him like blowing into his ear. Don’t blame him when he becomes a sister rapist…

Episode 11
Ren wins a prize at the crane game. Because she is embarrassingly trying to give it to Yua for Valentine, Yua takes advantage of this by pinning her to the wall and then whisper perhaps she should have just given herself as the present. Of course she was just joking and wanted to see her reaction. As Ren waits in her room, she really thinks about it. Thus she decides to tease her by wrapping herself in some leftover ribbon. Somehow she got entangled with it. Yeah, now she’s looking like a genuine present. Yua enters and sees this sexy gift. Help me please doesn’t mean help yourself! Did Yua just put on a rape face? Too bad we can’t see how Yua ‘frees’ Ren as we are left to our imaginations while we hear Ren’s squeals.

Episode 12
The girls are planning about their trip when the spring break comes. Wow. Looks like they’re going to be really saving up if they really want that European tour. But of course, we don’t get to see those picturesque locations the girls are discussing but instead the exotic tights! Oh yeah. I would love to visit those lovelies any time. But wherever the trio go, they sure have a lot of fun together. And when they take a commemorative photo, it’s like the camera got a little pervy mind on its own because when it drops, it snaps a pic of their tights. Classic. That’s one for the album.

Episode 13 (Special)
Homi helps take pictures of Yua posing. This is to practice for her upcoming photo shoot. Uh huh. Some guy probably saw how sexy Yua was on her social media and contacted her to do a cosplay photo book with her. And tights is the theme. Shady indeed. I bet he wants to use it as his own personal material to jerk off. Ren refuses to join in as she is not into this stuff. But when Yua mocks Ren that she might spoil the photo shoot since she has no modelling practice, this provocation is enough to make her join in. And so Homi snaps away the duo posing, each time the posing gets more and more risqué. Are you sure you’re not doing some yuri porn shoot? And then it’s like they knew what we were thinking and wanted because Yua starts blowing into Ren’s ears as well as start running her fingers through her tights! And finally Yua ‘attacks’ Ren by getting on top of it! Full yuri assault! We approve!!! And Homi is just filming this with glee. Will you upload it soon?! I don’t even know what’s the point of why this happened but gochisousama anyway.

In A Tight(s) Spot…
Well… Good news… Sort of… I realize I didn’t develop any tights fetish after watching this series! Hooray! I’m clean! I’m in the clear! However this doesn’t mean I’m not going to watching ecchi animes in the future! But seriously… The anime isn’t anything special and would only resonate with those who have tights fetish. Ecchi fans would also enjoy this but the ecchi parts feel mild. But I suppose the series stays true to what it does best the most: The focus and emphasis of the girls in pantyhose AKA tights. So for a person like me who isn’t into this kind of fetish, it feels a bit odd to see the camera work focusing on the pair of legs covered with tights. It’s not like I don’t understand. It’s the equivalent to panty shots, boob shots and crotch shots. So you liking your thick thighs tights now, huh?

Like we are already told from the synopsis, there is no stories whatsoever and it could go on for another cour of them doing just about anything but with the focus continually on the tights. It would have been probably more or less the same thing. Going shopping. In tights! Going hiking. In tights! Hot yuri hentai. In tights! Oops… Went too far. Hence the real ‘character’ and ‘star’ of this series are the tights themselves. Not Yua. Not Ren. Not Homi. These girls feel so shallow that we feel that their tights and thighs have more character than themselves! Really! Do you not feel their stocking legs get more screen time than their pretty face? Who cares if Homi is in the swimming club and she’s the ditz of the trio. Who cares if Ren works part time at a café. Who cares if Yua is a popular cosplayer but might harbour a secret split dominating personality. Oh wait. The last one seems interesting but alas, can’t take away the limelight from those tights.

So yeah, the girls having some sort of personality seems like fillers so the episodes aren’t just completely random. I think it would have worked well had it went with that format. As random as that episode where Okuzumi who is already an enigmatic character because of that one episode where she is being very suggestive with a student. But that could just be our imaginations running wild. Is she a predator? I guess she also needs a little screen time of her own since some love older women in tights. Just saying… Besides, episodes with guys in them are the most interesting because we get to see how they deal with this tight situation-cum-menace. Poor Homi’s little bro… The irony when you think it is his big sister that somewhat introduced him into this porn…

Art and animation feel pretty minimal. Do you not agree that the characters look a bit weird? Sometimes I think if the girls having high forehead is a trademark of this series. No, seriously. Because that is how it seems to me. But of course don’t mind the low quality of this series because if they can spam in your face those tights, everything will be okay. Yeah, the tights get more detail and quality compared to everything else! You give us those delicious tights shots and the possible but vague panty shots, we be happy and shut up. Happy simple otaku guys are happy and simple. This series was animated by Yokohama Animation Lab whom many won’t hear of because they do short and obscure series that nobody heard of like Yakusoku Nanaya Matsuri, Hanasaku Kizuna No Romantan and Neko Ga Kureta Marui Shiawase. Yeah. Boring sounding names. Nothing like some tights appeal to help propel your studio name to the fore. Unfortunately this series isn’t that mainstream and pretty niche so I guess they’re still nobodies and not going to attract heavyweight and veteran studios. Not even a storm in a teacup.

Surprisingly, a few recognizable and popular seiyuus lending their talents to this short series like Youko Hikasa as Yua, Haruka Tomatsu as Ren and Ai Kayano as Okuzumi. The only one I didn’t recognize is Aya Suzaki as Homi (Mako in Kill La Kill). So if you’re not fans of tights or even ecchi, perhaps they could draw your attention if your favourite seiyuu was taking part in this. Yeah, now imagine her in tights… Damn it would have been so epic and ironic had Mamiko Noto had a role here… So yeah, the tights might be distracting you from their voice acting talents… The ending theme is True Days and there are a few versions of it. 3 solo versions and one trio collaboration. They sound fine to me although not likely to be memorable and last beyond the season.

Overall, definitely a tight masterpiece! Haha! It feels like a cheap ploy to keep the company afloat with some fast cash grab because like I’ve said from time to time, sex sells. Also feels like a bait and introduction to those with weak will to get you hook into tights. And then from there you could move on to leg and feet fetish, thicc thighs, thigh gaps, etc. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Animes like this as well as that Iya Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai might be series that give the anime industry a bad name. But remember, these are also the kind of series that keep Japan and anime alive! Hold on tightly to your dreams! Shallow minded people of society might call this sleazy but only true men and otaku know how to appreciate such masterpiece! That’s all, people. Good night and sleep tight(s)!

Majimoji Rurumo: Kanketsu-hen

September 20, 2019

Better late than never. That’s what I thought that many old animes that were last aired 5 years ago getting its sequel. It is the same case and it came as a surprise to me that Majimoji Rurumo: Kanketsu-hen got a pair of special OVA episodes back in July 2019 since its TV series last aired in 2014. It wasn’t the kind of series I was hoping for to get a sequel and of course now that it has come out, I don’t remember anything much except about a witch in training maintaining a contract with a perverted guy. In exchange for magic tickets to grant his wishes, the moment he uses them up, he dies. So perhaps as seen in its title, this is the last leg for this series and to bring back the nostalgic hype for hardcore fans who want to see some sort of closure.

Episode 1
It’s that time again when Kouta runs into trouble with Inoue and her public morals gestapo goons. He wishes for Rurumo to save him in which she does his magic. However this means he uses up all his remaining tickets and die! Phew, thank goodness it was just a dream. He then sees Rurumo sleeping so cutely and wants to sleep together?! Thank goodness mom is around and tells him to go do some errands. Along the way, Rurumo is curious to go out for tea. Kouta obliges but this isn’t the kind of tea he had in mind. While he is thinking of being on a date, Rurumo dumps all the sugar cubes into her tea and still finds it bitter! Later Kouta talks to Chiro about seeing Rurumo smiled a little bit. He suggests she should live here forever since he won’t be able to use up his tickets. However Chiro tells the grave truth. Trainee witches only have 500 days limit. Whether they pass or fail, they go back after the time is up. If she fails, it only means she will lose her right to be a permanent witch. And that deadline is in 2 weeks. Wow. Thanks for letting us know such a crucial detail as this point. Then 2 weeks passed without anything happening. Kouta thinks of going on a spending spree to celebrate her send off. He stumbles into a loli who needs his help getting her balloon. After done, he is startled to meet Rurumo in the streets. This is where they first met. She thanks him for all that he has done and just wanted him to remember there was a witch named Rurumo. She can’t make it sound any sadder, can she? Kouta then hugs her and feels stupid for not realizing it sooner. Hence he decides to use all his remaining tickets to have girls look at him. Might as well go out with a bang. Unfortunately he sees that loli crossing the road and a truck is going to slam into her. Oh well. Time to use the tickets to save her. With that, the loli is saved and Kouta drops dead. His corpse confirms Rurumo passed her training.

Oh my. Kouta is really dead! Not a dream! Everyone crying at his funeral! Apparently Rurumo doesn’t know Kouta will pay with his life after using up his tickets! Seriously, girl???!!! Chiro blames herself for not telling her because she wanted Rurumo to really become a witch. But how now? Everybody so sad. As Rurumo is now a full-fledged witch, her first mission is to erase the memories of all humans who know her. But I think she isn’t powerful enough since she goes to each of them one by one instead of casting a wide spell over the city. The last is Tanako who now confirms Rurumo is a witch and learns the truth that Kouta did. Her final wish is that if Rurumo sees Kouta, please tell him how cool he was. Rurumo and Chiro return to the Underworld. We hear a narration of witches divided into 13 ranks with the Witch Queen being the most powerful and occupying the top. Maybe that’s why Rurumo’s power isn’t so powerful yet. She just became a real witch. When Harulily talks to her, it seems she knows that Kouta is still alive. Sort of. Humans whose lives have been taken when a witch’s contract is fulfilled are stored in a soul crystal in Underworld. Many witches don’t know where it is located. While the soul crystal has no means to listen or speak, the human’s mind still remains intact. And so happens Harulily knows where the soul crystals are. She wants Rurumo to go see him before he disappears for good. Rurumo thinks about this and ponders further on Harulily’s words that she is in love with Kouta. Otherwise why could she not stop thinking about him? Does she need to hesitate on her next move? Let’s go see Kouta!

Episode 2
More narrations about how nobody has conveniently seen the Witch Queen and the soul crystals reside in the underground of the admin bureau. Of course they are guarded by top ranked elite witches so can a newbie witch like Rurumo bust in? Conveniently Rurumo and Chiro overheard wardens, Sillia Saland Alphoa and Mimilmia talking about a recent soul crystal being a pervy one because it tried to molest their boobs and butts. Definitely Kouta. Amazingly they manage to steal his box and I know Rurumo is being nostalgic with Kouta but can she save it for another and like, get out of here? I know she feels like she can take on anything but seriously, ranked 1 witches? Of course Sillia and Mimilmia are going all out to stop Rurumo. Thankfully Harulily drops in to help. As she has prepared some top end magic, she manages to stop their time so as to buy them time to escape. Oh, Rurumo conveniently putting memory erasing magic on them. Back in her home (you mean there were no other wardens or security to stop them?), because Kouta’s soul crystal is unresponsive, luckily we have Mimi who has created a doll as his vessel! Long story short, Mimi is in love with Kouta! Putting the soul crystal into the doll, Kouta can only speak and listen, albeit very weak. Rurumo thanks him that she has now become a witch but when Kouta wants to tell her something, he has run out of steam. That is when Rurumo gives up and decides to return him to the chamber. After going through all that trouble? The memory erasing spell won’t last long and the duo will soon catch up. After all, she has been in prison before and now that she has settled the matters of her heart, it’s not bad being imprisoned again?! Girl, you just sounded that you got imprisoned in your own heart.

Soon, Rurumo and Harulily are arrested and are to face a trial for treason. In short, the judges hand down their judgment that Rurumo is to be imprisoned for 300 years and stripped of her witchhood forever while Harulily will be demoted to rank 13. Whatever they have to say or reason, it’s not the court’s problem. So a convenient revelation for us to understand why Rurumo is handed down such harsh punishment. You see, when humans are contracted with witches, when they die, their soul then becomes the source of magic witches use. Now you know why witches descend to Earth, eh? That is why in the chamber, the soul crystals are connected to tubes and all and are managed by the wardens. However this power is not limited and to maintain the balance, the Witch Queen imposed strict rules and certain methods. Rurumo has disrupted that order by awakening the human spirit inside the soul crystal. Because of that, it is deemed useless and will be destroyed. Oh Rurumo. No use crying how she made things worse while trying to save him. So accept that punishment and bear the guilt? Before the judges could hand down the verdict suddenly that loli comes in. Guess what? She’s the Witch Queen! Surprise, b*tches! She heard what happened and rushed all the way back here. She immediately annuls this session and voids all of their punishment. Wow. That was easy. That’s the Witch Queen for you.

The Witch Queen then takes them to her palace. Although she narrates that no one can stop death, but if it is caused by a witch’s contract, ah yeah, I see where this loophole is going. Hence the Witch Queen can use her special magic to revive Kouta and return his soul crystal. But didn’t Kouta get cremated? Lucky boy. Because the Witch Queen snuck into his funeral and swap his real body to her palace! Damn Kouta’s kindness goes a long way. With her special powers, Kouta is revived. The real deal. This time it is Rurumo who comes running to hug him. And finally Kouta is able to say he loves her from the bottom of his heart. I suppose he can’t stay in Underworld so he is tossed back to his home. Damn, his family and friends so happy to see him come back alive?! So what about him being dead? Oh, he lied about waking up before being cremated and escaped. Since he is standing before them, I guess they don’t want to question any further. Seriously. Let those pervy days return! Soon, Rurumo becomes a new transfer student in class. All the guys are crazy over this new cute chick but soon get jealous since Kouta knows her. Yeah. Former sister. Not going to cut it! But screw all that since Kouta gives Rurumo a kiss. Uhm, can he upgrade former sister to girlfriend? Why didn’t he just go with long lost childhood friend since everyone’s memories on Rurumo were erased? Ah well, whatever. And Rurumo is back on Earth as she was promoted and assigned to work on Earth as advisors for Earth-based witches. Can this fun last forever? Maybe not. But at least Kouta doesn’t have to use up his tickets for this now. Live life to the fullest!

Write Your Own Ticket Or It’s Tickets For You!
I’m not sure if these OVA episodes are meant to be the end and closure for the series entirely. At least for the TV format. Because they were released in conjunction for a manga volume released on the same date. Also, I read that the OVAs were original stories to begin with. Since I don’t read the manga, I am not sure how it would deviate. Not that it matters to me since I still won’t be reading them and hence the OVAs are considered the end of the series to me. Unless they decide to adapt the continuation, which would be an entirely different story but that would be for another time.

These special episodes focuses a lot on Rurumo and Kouta being relegated to a side character as we see Rurumo trying to come to terms with her feelings for Kouta. I guess only when death occurs and hits you real hard that you start realizing what is most important to you. It is really a sweet ending for Kouta and Rurumo to be together again although typically that is what I expected it would be. Pretty cliché that both the characters who never realized they were in love with each other or have a hard time saying those magical words until they are pushed to the limits, only when they overcome those obstacles, a fairytale happy ending of them being together again. And they live happily ever after. The end. I wouldn’t have it any other way for them, though. It would be really sadistic of me to aspect Rurumo to say her goodbye and peace and be locked away forever in prison. Not the kind of bad ending to leave as the final impressions of viewers.

There were a few mind boggling moments too. Most probably to drive the narrative and plot of the story. For example, it was said that nobody knows who the Witch Queen looks like. And with that loli revelation (isn’t that why they foreshadow of this unknown character in the first part?), now a lot of people know how the Witch Queen looks like? She doesn’t seem like a nasty person and a very reasonable one so why doesn’t she make her appearance known to at least the denizens of Underworld? She doesn’t have to be known to humans that’s for sure but I wonder why her appearance is kept a mystery. Is it those who only deserve to know her will get to see her face? Strange order if you ask me then. Then the other mind boggling part is how she switched Kouta’s body. I am assuming that a few days passed so why did she not immediately seek Rurumo? Why does she not know she is a witch? She saw her using her magic to save her, right? So what was she doing putting Kouta’s body for a few days in her palace? So that we could all have this dramatic scene of Rurumo going through all the trouble and emotions of rescuing Kouta and feeling her actions were for naught.

And when Kouta revived, where the heck was he if he said he escaped from his coffin? This assuming a few days have passed. Where was he hanging out? So okay, I believe there were no security guards at a funeral so nobody saw a corpse walking out. Even so, this has got to be the biggest prank Kouta would have played on his fellow family and friends and they don’t even reprimand him for this? Maybe we just didn’t see but yeah, making everybody worried sick and crying over your dead body isn’t funny the more you think about it. The funeral was real, you know. I guess everybody realizes how precious Kouta was and couldn’t care less about this and overlooked it anyway. I mean, he is alive. What more do you want? Don’t get me started on the soul crystal thingy. Sure, I saw it coming from a mile that they are used as power source to feed witches’ magic but come on, awakening them once will make them lose that magic worth? Are you sure the producer quickly try to think something up so as to give us that scene where Rurumo was filled with guilt and remorse? That her genuine actions brought more harm than good to the boy she loves? Seems like that to me. But don’t fear. Thanks to all the clichés and ingredients for a good happy ending, that’s why everybody is such a lucky person.

Overall, this series has wrapped up nicely and for viewers like me, a nice and cute closure to everything that was. Lots of typical and cliché moments to pull your heart strings as well but I guess there is no other way for this series to end so that we could all feel good when it comes to a close. If there is one thing that this series has taught me, it isn’t the magic tickets and the wish that you wish upon that really matters most. It is the actions of what you do that affects others that counts. So that is why the next time when you see an old woman needing help to carry her groceries while crossing the street or that little girl whose cat is stuck high up on a tree and can’t come down or the homeless guy who is asking for a spare change or bread to spare, don’t turn them down. Who knows? They might be some higher deity in disguise or even just that ordinary person who will return that favour to you in the future when you needed it most. Just like how Kouta’s seemingly insignificant action to help a loli and be selfless scored big points for his reunion with Rurumo. You could say he won the golden ticket then. And that the best magic comes from that not of witches, but that of the heart.

Oh no. Not another Nobunaga reincarnation and adaptation. Over the years, we have had that great unifier of Japan being twisted into many different forms in the anime, manga and game media. Some are okay but mostly I’ve seen a lot are those gender bender thingy. Yeah, some of them were just awful. Blame me for being a straight guy and had to go watch them just because they turn him into a cute girl or pretty woman. Thankfully (or not), Nobunaga-sensei No Osanazuma might be yet another unholy adaptation of that great man (can fiction let him rest in peace already?), however it is not a gender bender theme. Instead, his young wives and concubines are somewhat sent to the future where they try to make out with his descendant who coincidentally shares his exact name. Different era, different culture. But the same clichés are always there. Over hundreds of years, I guess some things never change.

Episode 1
Nobunaga Oda is a teacher and he laments he is still single. Though his student, Mayu Biwajima offers to date him if he has none by the time they graduate. Back home, his parents are pestering him to get married and produce an heir. It seems Nobunaga is really a descendent of the actual Nobunaga! When he and his sister, Ichika clean the storeroom, he accidentally broke something and a girl pops out in mid-air. Taking her back to her room, when she wakes up, she asks which country she has been kidnapped to. Father thinks he kidnapped her! When she learns his name, she introduces herself as Kichou Saitou. She is supposed to be Nobunaga’s wife. He is happy with that and thought she is of legal age. Nope. 15 years old. F*ck! As she explains more of herself, Nobunaga can tell she is the real deal from the past based on the historical accuracies and knowledge. Somehow the ancestors sent her to the future. When he tries to tell her the truth, she doesn’t believe him. After all, this is her first time seeing Nobunaga and she doesn’t actually know how he looks like. She then tells him she will give her body but not her heart and warns she will not believe everything he says just because she is his wife. Then she gets down to business, stripping herself and getting ready to make babies. That’s what a wife supposed to do, right? Love or not, it has nothing to do with it. Nobunaga tries to be reasonable but Kichou is being pushy and the other women are threatening to call the cops if he touches this minor! Worst, he can’t shake off this responsibility and must take care of her.

Episode 2
Nobunaga brings Kichou back to his condo. She is confused with this ‘castle’. She wants to call to call it a night since she is tired. Is that the old way of saying let’s f*ck? Of course Nobunaga dismisses her and this makes her think she doesn’t have the body to stimulate him. In fact, unemotional lolis are his type of girls! Too bad it is the ethical issue that gets in the way. He talks about the legal age of marriage and sex. Although Kichou doesn’t really understand, she’s simple enough to say that they just have to make sure nobody knows. She is confident her serving lady has taught her enticing sex techniques. How times have changed because lying there naked is supposed to be super sexy? Nobunaga even has to teach her what turns him on! Yeah, spread those legs baby!!! Surprisingly, Kichou feels embarrassed. As she has learnt something, Nobunaga then realizes he is going to educate her on how to survive in this modern world. She is no different than his students. And he is starting off by making her play an eroge!!! Hentai games allow you to make many choices for a possible future, right?! It also teaches you about love, right???!!!

Episode 3
Nobunaga brings Kichou to school as a transfer student. This is the best way she could learn and socialize. They meet Yuri Hoshigaoka (hentai boobs!) who is also a fellow teacher at school. She offers to help Nobunaga if he faces any problems. As Nobunaga introduces Kichou to his class, Kichou gets worried seeing so many girls. Feeling threatened, she declares she is Nobunaga’s wife whom he promised to marry once she turns 16. Though, she allows them to be his concubines. Of course Nobunaga has to tell her to shut it to avoid any more misunderstandings. Later, Mayu’s friend, Anna Atsuta confronts Kichou about what she said. She wants to really ascertain that because she points out Mayu is also in love with Nobunaga. Although marriage isn’t certain at this point in time, Kichou allows Mayu to be his concubine. Nobody else but herself can take the position as his wife. Ironically this makes Anna mad so she wants this settled right now. The one who convinces Nobunaga to have sex with her gets to marry him! Does Mayu get a say in this? When Nobunaga is called over, he is shocked to see the competing girls stripped naked. Kichou is cool but Mayu is super embarrassed. She sums up her courage to show him her boobs and as he tries to cover her up, his hands accidentally grope them. So embarrassed that this turned on her sexy switch? Please grope more! Just then, Yuri walks in and sees this unholy act. Is his teacher life over?

Episode 4
WTF Nobunaga’s answer is to strip Yuri and molest her till she climaxes???!!! Of course this is just his wild imagination but WTF he thought up about it?! Kichou wants to slit her throat but thankfully Nobunaga won’t allow any violence. So Yuri interrogates them. Nobunaga explains the truth and of course nobody believes about this time travelling thing. Not even Kichou. Kichou suggests heading to Inabayama Castle where her family lives to disprove of this. The town are seems a bit larger than she thought and then Nobunaga points out that small castle on the hilltop. It has been renamed Gifu Castle. There is a notice that details the brief history that includes her brother killing her father. She is in shock and even more so to see her castle turned into some museum. That is when she has come to terms that this is the future. She apologizes to Nobunaga for troubling him as he really isn’t the one she is supposed to marry. She is sad she has no more family, nobody to marry. Nobunaga cheers her up that until they find a way to get her back, he will take care of her. As they look at the several items on display, Kichou could recognize some of them she used to use. When Nobunaga touches one of them, oh no, another girl appears in mid-air!

Episode 5
Kitsuno Ikoma drops into Nobunaga’s arms and slaps him thinking he is trying to get his way with her. But upon realizing who he is, she apologizes and allows him to have his way with her. With Mayu interrupting them, she then introduces herself and is Nobunaga’s concubine. She was married to another man but he died in battle. She then met Nobunaga (the original one) and fell for him. However she died of an illness and she thinks this world is where she has been reincarnated along with Nobunaga. Learning that he is single, she wants him to marry her. This is when Kichou draws the line. Hold on, b*tch. However Kitsuno tells her to f*ck off. Because although she was destined to marry Nobunaga, it is not the Nobunaga of this era. She’s got a point. Even more so, Kitsuno is Nobunaga’s type because despite she is 29, somehow her reincarnation has her body in a form of a young girl. Hence legal loli!!! Must have her!!! Kichou still doesn’t approve of this and draws her sword. Before you think Anna’s interruption is to stop the loli b*tches from killing themselves, it is actually to throw Mayu into the battlefield. Yeah, a 3 way fight for Nobunaga!

Episode 6
Nobunaga brings Kitsuno back to his place and introduces her to some modern conveniences like instant ramen! Nobunaga is having dirty thoughts of f*cking his legal loli but something in his guts tell him it’s a bad idea. Because Kitsuno is already asking for sex and good for him turning her down. He tries to avoid the subject by taking a bath. Yeah, I saw this coming. Because Kichou and Kitsuno now want to wash his back. Hence it becomes a showdown to see who could do better. Kichou is just pretty plain and normal while Kitsuno uses her entire body to do the washing. Ichika comes by to check and sees this unholy act. She’s calling the cops. Matte! Matte! After being introduced to Kitsuno and learning how she came to this era, she deduces that it is not stuffs that Nobunaga break that will occur this phenomenon. Rather when he touches them. This could mean that the original Nobunaga’s soul is residing inside him and anything related closely to Nobunaga will appear if he touches them. Meanwhile Mayu rues she is a disadvantage for Nobunaga’s love since Kichou and Kitsuno are living with him. Though, she felt really happy when Nobunaga touched her boobs. She wants him to touch them again. Anna supports her that she is ready to go again.

Episode 7
Kitsuno is introduced as a new transfer student. Did Nobunaga put a gag order on her because she claims she is his wife and came from the past. But it’s not like everyone cares, right? Even with witness accounts from the rest, it is still hard to believe. Though, they tease Kitsuno to beware of him because he might rape her. Believe it or not, Kitsuno is disappointed because that’s what she’s hoping for! This puts Anna on high alert because Mayu will lose at this rate. So at the teacher’s lounge, Mayu goes to talk to Nobunaga. But he thinks she might be sick and touches her forehead. Suddenly something activated and now Mayu turns into some flirty vixen. She wants him to touch her boobs! Yeah, she may be sick. At the infirmary, she strips herself and wants him to touch them. Kitsuno barges in, not happy he is going to touch the boobs of another woman. To see how mad she is, she punches a hole in the wall! But this only allows Mayu to taunt her that Nobunaga will not love a violent savage like her. This farce is put to a stop when Kichou tells them to behave like a proper wife material. Kitsuno takes a closer look at Mayu and realizes that she is Onabe, one of original Nobunaga’s concubines. Then they discuss about Nobunaga’s touch. It seems not only objects but humans who are related can have this effect as well. Mayu relates that when she was touched by him, she heard a voice and then everything goes fuzzy like a dream. This has Yuri worried because she also had almost the same experience when Nobunaga grabbed her hand earlier.

Episode 8
So, Nobunaga thinks he can avoid all those weird phenomena by wearing gloves, huh? Then Yuri invites him to go drinking. Just the 2 of them. Alright! Kichou and Kitsuno are suspicious so they tail them but damn those age restrictions as they aren’t allowed into the bar premise. Yuri seems to be fretting over something she needs to tell him but she can’t. This is going to take a while. Outside, Kichou asks if Kitsuno has ever fallen in love. Of course. With Nobunaga. That’s why he married him. Kichou envies her and wished she had that experience too. But Kitsuno points out she already loves him because whenever she is close to him, she gets mad. With so many beers, Yuri still can’t say and now blames him and wants him to take responsibility. Naturally he takes this as she wants to f*ck him. Okay! Let’s go somewhere else! At the park, she starts stripping and wants him to suck on her tits?! Woah, man! This has escalated too fast! Really, suck on them? Okay. So why Nobunaga is complaining about a certain order to go about when dealing with boobs?! Just suck them!!! With Kichou and Kitsuno now popping up, Yuri explains why it is his fault. She has felt strange ever since he touched her hand. He realizes and wonders if she could also be one of the original Nobunaga’s concubines. I’m sure he is having such fun sucking on those cow tits but on the other hand, angry Kichou complains to get his mouth off some other woman’s tits. That’s enough sucking! But Yuri wants more sucking! Oh, what to do? Yeah, this sucks. Kitsuno then thinks Yuri could be related to Jitokuin, the wet nurse of her child.

Episode 9
Yuri feels violated but when Nobunaga says he will take responsibility by marrying her, she refuses! She hates him for messing up her body like that! Wow. A girl who despises Nobunaga the main character? With Nobunaga feeling down, he thinks of quitting teaching. Probably he’ll go to some tropical island and frolic with naked girls. WTF?! Did Mayu actually believe that? Because she’s getting scared he will really quit. Hence in her desperation she strips naked and tries to convince him she doesn’t hate what he has done. Weird logic. Yuri doesn’t want him to quit either as long as he doesn’t touch her again. Now the attention turns to why Mayu likes Nobunaga. You mean she has to explain? I suppose it is to valid her stance as a ‘competitor’. However she feels Anna might hate her but after whispering it to Nobunaga, he believes she won’t. Mayu reveals her hobby to draw erotic BL. She thought her life was over when Nobunaga accidentally saw it. However he was impressed by her good art and wanted her to even draw futanari for him???!!! WTF?! Anna might not hate her but she looks like she hates him… Anyway, because Nobunaga doesn’t tease her hobby, she started liking him ever since and technically they both have each other’s dirty secrets. I hope this doesn’t cause the other girls to have some weird awakening because they want to see more. Kichou can’t understand Nobunaga. She believes he is a respectable person as there were times he lifted her out of depression.

Episode 10
Kichou asks what the f*ck does futanari means! Mayu explains! Did you get all that, huh? Kichou is left confused. Does this mean Nobunaga is gay?! Speak of the devil, Nobunaga brings Ranma in as he is Anna’s brother and he wants to see her. Anna warns him about being touched by Nobunaga but as Nobunaga demonstrates, nothing was summoned when he touched him. Later Nobunaga catches a girl falling from the stairs. In the infirmary as she recovers, she helps sew his shirt that was torn during the catch. Nobunaga loves how feminine she is despite feeling something familiar about her. Suddenly she pins him down and wants to f*ck! Oh yeah! WTF she is stronger than him? Nobunaga’s first kiss goes to her. Things are heating up as she lets him touch her privates. Hmm… Feels like something is there… Just in time when Kichou and Kitsuno enter to stop this unholy act but she is able to dodge and turn the tables on her. With Anna here, it is revealed this girl is actually Ranma! He has a habit of cross-dressing and makes his own clothes. So about the part they were fondling each other? Nobunaga claims he was being raped! However Ranma sounds strange when he talks about receiving his love. Can guys marry? In Japan? Ranma reveals his true identity: Ranmaru Mori. Even back then, there were gays…

Episode 11
Yuri’s boobs are tingling?! Yeah, they’re acting up again and she blames Nobunaga. Fix this! Calling the usual gang to brainstorm, they think Jitokuin wants her tits to be sucked. Nobunaga believes she must have some regrets. Like Kichou who married Nobunaga but failed to have kids and Kitsuno remaining as his concubine. If they can figure that out, they’ll solve this tits sucking problem. WTF?! But Yuri still doesn’t want him to fondle her boobs like last time. So how? This time he is blindfolded but the fondling is still the same. So good that Jitokuin is channelled through Yuri again. He asks her regrets. Actually she loves having her tits sucked! After Nobunaga died and his son grew up, she felt empty because nobody sucked her tits. WTF?! Nobunaga’s depraved answer is to marry her, have a child and suck her tits all day long! You know the rest won’t let this fly, right? With Onabe possessing Mayu, she too has some sort of regrets but refuse to say it. When she goes into hiding, Nobunaga fondles Mayu’s boobs to get her back out. This time she reveals it. She never said so in fear that he will hate her. In short, she wants to see gay sex between Nobunaga and Ranmaru. No, not Nobunaga f*cking Ranmaru but the other way round, Ranmaru sticking his dick into Nobunaga! And she wants to draw that!!!! Of course Nobunaga is not going to do gay sex but Onabe threatens she won’t leave until she gets what she wants!

Episode 12
Yuri enjoying Nobunaga sucking her tits?! Until she realizes it too late and slaps him! While it solves her problem, what is he going to do about Mayu/Onabe? This is when Yuri tells him to do gay sex! How does it feel to be doing something against your will? Now suffer! Back at the comfort of his home, Ranmaru gets ready to have gay sex with him. Oh dear. Lots of gay sexual subtext that is cringey as hell and probably Nobunaga is feeling the same way. But before Nobunaga can lose his virginity this way, Onabe stops it. What gives? She is satisfied she could draw enough and has found her peace. With that, she leaves Mayu and ascends to heaven. What a relief for Nobunaga. But please hide that junk. Though Nobunaga is confident he can fix Yuri’s body, however she continues to chastise him. Suddenly Kichou takes out her knife and threatens Yuri. Nobunaga is trying to help solve her problem and all she does is insult him? This is unforgivable. Yuri apologizes for being unreasonable and Nobunaga helps calm Kichou down. After he thanks her for standing up for him, she hugs him and realizes she wants to stay her and not go back. So let’s make babies and watch them grow up! I guess this beats having gay sex, right? Though, from time to time Ranmaru still tries to get him while Kichou and Kitsuno try to sneak up on him in bed at night. Naked. Damn, this guy’s dick is so coveted!!! Lastly, we see Kichou’s knife suddenly summoning another girl. Oh no. Say it isn’t so!!!

Blast From The Past: Sengoku Sluts
Oh dear. Everything feels so bad and going downhill that they introduced a new mysterious girl in the end. And not one by Nobunaga’s touch. So it could be that she isn’t one of his concubines and might be related to Kichou. But I’m not going to go there. So if Nobunaga has to satisfy all this wife and concubines’ spirit to ascend to heaven, I am figuring out that Ranmaru will be the last and probably never to be satisfied! Unless he turns gay then maybe. But for now, they’re trying to say that as long as you sexually satisfy them, they’ll go back. WTF logic is this?! So for the girls who want to be penetrated by him, does it mean until he is ready to do it with them, they’ll be stuck here forever? So it’s like a catch-22 situation for Kichou and Kitsuno because they want to have sex with him but once that is fulfilled, they can no longer be with him. Damn, this is a tough situation…

I wasn’t already expecting much already from this series but as the series progresses, it feels it has gone further and further into a downward spiral. It feels like they are making things up and write whatever that comes to mind as they go along. Basically the entire series feels like one shallow attempt to give us some sort of ecchi fanservice by turning this Nobunaga descendent into some sleazy perverted scumbag. And because this is supposed to be some sort of harem, hence females from his timeline are somewhat transported to this era to be sexualized by him. That just feels so shallow. Like as though they really badly wanted to do a sengoku harem centring around Nobunaga. I mean, does it really explain or attempt to explore why these girls from the past are brought to the future? At this particular point in time? Do they even attempt to solve this problem? Nah. Screw it.

Nobunaga feeling up his harem is what this series is aiming about. Sadly, it started with some potential when Kichou was summoned. You know, Kichou trying to make sense of her current surroundings and adjusting to life in the modern era. Everything looks okay until they brought in more sengoku girls just for the harem sake and didn’t care anymore. It turned from girls who didn’t mind stripping naked and suggesting he f*ck them to Nobunaga the man himself touching up the boobs of his harem. All in the name of helping them. This guy is one step in opening his own sex cult. Because any girl is okay with him. Though his fetish is lolis, he is still okay with mature women like Yuri. But no gay stuff. Don’t want dicks stuck into his ass, huh? I’ll say, the last episode was the most ‘exciting’ because they really made it in a way that Nobunaga might succumb to gay sex. I don’t watch gay porn animes so I’m not used to this ‘climaxing’ scene. But it sure feels refreshed compared to all the other straight sex porn molesting stuff in terms of that. Phew. Lucky Nobunaga. Couldn’t shag a female but did in a male? This is so screwed up if it ever happened.

The characters themselves are poorly written. Like Nobunaga himself is set up to become a sleazy pervert because that is what this anime is all about. He gets to touch his girls with ease because he starts thinking since he is the descendent of the original Nobunaga, that kind of status gives him a free pass to do as he wishes. After all, these sengoku babes are also somewhat thirsty themselves, right? They want to be his wife, get f*cked by him or get their tits sucked. Heh. I guess back in the past when there were no internet connection, other than going to war, there was literally nothing else to do. Yeah, there were no sex experts or sex therapists too so you can guess that people back then are as horny as people nowadays. Yeah. Some things never changed.

The girls fare no better. For some odd reasons, they tolerate his perverted behaviour because you know, he is the mighty Nobunaga. Heck, as the ultimate daimyou, he gets to do what he wants! Well, that would have passed if it was in the 16th century. That’s not going to fly now. That’s why this series looks so cheesy and mediocre. Kichou had the most potential at the start. But after she has come to terms with reality, it’s like as though she lost her bite. I know she started off as a character who doesn’t really love Nobunaga and only does so because it is her role as a woman. But subsequently I don’t see her growing to naturally love Nobunaga. With the focus mainly on Nobunaga molesting his girls, Kichou seems to be reduced to some sort of side viewer. She’s not really amused he is doing all that but she’s not really giving a f*cks to stop him like before. Remember there was a point where Kichou and Kitsuno were going to take out their knives and get ugly with each other? Yeah, logic dictates that they should enter a b*tch fight over dick instead of killing each other because this is an ecchi harem genre. Remember? Maybe the girls don’t really stop each other because they realize Nobunaga is a loser with no personality and will never get laid! Hah!

Yuri is one of those few characters who doesn’t like the main character. She’s not even tsundere. But it is still mind boggling that she allows herself to be molested by Nobunaga because of the twisted reason that his touch makes her inhabiting sengoku b*tch settle down. So there is no other way? Whatever. It’s your boobs anyway. Making her detest Nobunaga feels more fun because there is this thrill when you assault a resisting woman as oppose to one who is willing to do it any time (like Kitsuno). So yeah, with the only one having such humongous tits, it would have been a waste has she started using her brains to find out of a solution instead of letting Nobunaga HAND-le it. Pun intended. Then there is Mayu who is the typical cliché fujoshi girl, also a shy girl who harbours interest in her sensei. No wonder she feels threatened with the ever growing sengoku harem because before all this sh*t happened, she was the only one who was genuinely in love with him. Remember that promise to date each other if they haven’t found anybody by the time she graduates? No? So do I. Because it doesn’t matter now. She might be the first in line for his love but with the advent of those sengoku girls, she’s sliding down the rank and file. Then it gets even worse when they bring in Ranma/Ranmaru into the mix so late into the series. If having legal lolis is already bad enough, let’s throw in a cross-dresser and get some gay sh*t with! Yeah, this really sucks.

Not every girl here is part of his unofficial harem. Take Anna for instance. Because Mayu is such a shy girl, probably for her to have any chance in this unholy competition, you need to have this bold friend who would push you into the ring whether you are ready or not. That is primary her role. Yeah, she’s like the love manager and coach for Mayu. It’s more fun to see her friend be in this mess than herself. Nobunaga’s sister, Ichika feels as irrelevant. Sometimes I feel her character serves as a running joke to catch Nobunaga red handed in some sort ambiguous seemingly illegal loli activity and threaten to call the cops. I don’t see her trying to help solve this problem. Oh yeah. This is his problem. Not mine. So when he seemingly looks like as though he is going to rape his legal loli, she doesn’t hesitate to call the police. Some sister. No wonder Nobunaga gets depraved as the day passes. After all, this sengoku heaven won’t last forever. Either they somehow go back one day or Nobunaga dies first and leaves his wife and concubines behind like before in the past. Damn, I see a tragedy in history repeating itself.

Art and animation feel pretty average. Sometimes it is a bit bland but it could be my hardware. I don’t know if Yuri ever gets harassed by her students or outside school because of her unrealistic huge boobs but I guess those tits are drawn in a way to really attract your attention and keep your perverted eyes focused on them. Can’t… Take… My… Eyes… Off… Them… Kichou and Kitsuno wearing their traditional kimono around but nothing underneath feels like they are ready to give sex whenever Nobunaga wants it. Is it this easy to unrobe a kimono? Don’t worry. Proper censors in place when these girls decide to be an exhibitionist. Ironically bare tits don’t get censored at all unlike that heavily ecchi short series, Nande Koko Ni Sensei Ga. Heh. Sengoku lolis no tits at all… This series is animated by Seven who are masters in animating various short hentai flicks but they also did decent ones like Okusama Ga Seitokaichou, Danna Ga Nani Wo Itteiru Ka Wakaranai Ken, Inugami-san To Nekoyama-san, Strange+ and this season’s Joshikausei too.

Nothing special with the voice acting. The casts include Koudai Sakai as Nobunaga (Yuuto in Hyakuren No Haou To Seiyaku No Valkyria), Akari Uehara as Kichou (Riona in Ousama Game), Ari Ozawa as Kitsuno (Kirin in Gakusen Toshi Asterisk), Konomi Yuuzaki as Mayu, Marika Tanaka as Yuri, Moe Toyota as Anna (Midori in Hibike! Euphonium) and Suzuna Kinoshita as Ichika (Nona in Chou Kadou Girl 1/6: Amazing Stranger) and Kouki Miyata as Ranma (Susumu in Wandaba Style). The opening sounds weird. Koise Yo Minna Hai by Pyxis is a mix of traditional theme but added with some fast rapping hip hop music. And lots of spinning too! Spin round and round and round!!! Thank goodness this song only lasts for 30 seconds. The ending theme sounds a lot better and not that bad. Returner Butterfly by Rika Tachibana feels wasted to be put in this sleazy anime because its dramatic rock beat would have fit in other better anime series. Too bad it also lasts for only 30 seconds.

Overall, this anime is really bad. Cheesy, sleazy and fails to be funny at all. It’s only funny because it’s weird and cliché. You thought turning Nobunaga into a female in other series was bad and insulting enough. This one goes a step further by turning him into some depraved school teacher. A descendent who has somewhat tainted the name of the great unifier of Japan. At least those female reincarnations of Nobunaga can fight and have tits themselves. Such badass. This one feels like a perverted wimp. I hope that the real ending of this series would be Nobunaga was just having one of the weirdest dreams as he wakes up from his bed and realizes this fantasy was all in his head. Then somehow he gets summoned to the past and replaces the original Nobunaga and once more he gets to f*ck his harem and concubines in this sick and twisted isekai genre. See? I can also write this crappy story myself. No wonder the original Nobunaga is turning in his grave if he ever sees what Japan has become and done to his legacy.

Nande Koko Ni Sensei Ga

August 17, 2019

It sounded and looked so much like porn material. I mean, when you have school teachers and their students getting into very sexy and ambiguous positions many times, can this not be more than just coincidence and definitely porn logic? But alas, do not fret. Nande Koko Ni Sensei Ga isn’t actually hentai although it is very heavy on the ecchi fanservice side. Not hentai because no sex. Phew, right? Don’t have to worry that they might have increased the number of hentai series masquerading as normal anime this season. The cupid of love must be a stupid mean guy as our poor students here are caught in embarrassing sexy situations with their teachers. It is already awkward enough to see your teacher outside school (although most of us will have this thought that they have no authority here!), what more in such mortifying circumstances. Thankfully it’s just both of them alone so no public humiliation. A secret they can both share and keep… So are these students lucky or unlucky? Maybe a bit of both.

Episode 1
Ichirou Satou is f*cked. Just when he entered the toilet, he sees Kana Kojima using it. Yeah, the ladies is being cleaned so she’s using this one. Satou fears this is it as Kojima has a reputation for being a demon teacher. Plus, the lock is jammed! WTF?! He thought of calling the other guys coming in for help but she pulls him closely so as not to make a sound. This has his face in her boobs and she makes the weirdest but cutest sound. Then she can’t hold herself any longer. Satou too can’t hold himself any longer and hugs her. So did they both ‘leak’? A week later and they both act like it’s nothing but Satou can’t get it out of his mind. He tries to play truant at the infirmary by faking a sprain foot but Kojima is there too! Yes, she is really sick. But sleeping in her revealing clothes? Since Kojima is really in pain, she wants him to put suppository into her ass! WTF?! Hurry! Stick it into her! So he does it blindfolded. Hope he gets the right hole. Eventually he does so and this ambiguous scene… Is she climaxing or what? But what a relief, no? Fellow teacher, Mayu Matsukaze comes to check so Satou instinctively hides underneath the sheets. He thought he is screwed by Kojima pats him for helping her. Next day, he caught her cold. Since she is acting all shy while visiting him, he is starting to think better of her until she gets mad about lying about his sprain foot. So she sticks the suppository into him so as he could heal faster and get scolded! Here comes the pain train!

Episode 2
Satou takes shelter in a coin operated laundry store. Yeah, Kojima is there too. All soaked from the rain. With no other clothes, Satou lends his while she gets hers dried. Kojima is afraid of lightning and clings on to him. Then the lights go out. Why the f*ck is the circuit breaker so high?! He lets her sit on his shoulders to reach but he sees underboobs! The consciousness has them losing their footing. Some laundry detergent poured over her so when Satou tries to lift her up, the slipperiness means his hands grope her boobs. He panics and pulls down the shirt, causing a few buttons to come undone. When Kojima now tries to let him sit on her shoulders, she could feel his dick poking her head. This is going to be a long day. When Satou returns home in the mountains, why the f*ck is Kojima here too?! Apparently she is good friends with his mom, Saki and is helping to look after his baby sister, Shio. As you would guess, Shio cries whenever demon teacher holds her. She laments her parents are nagging her to get married, etc. With Satou being good with kids, could he be the one? No way! They’re teacher and student, right? As they dip in the inflatable pool, her old swimsuit just makes her look more erotic. Shio gets naughty and pulls the string to make her top undone. During the commotion, Shio falls off and although both manage to catch her, they accidentally kiss! Shio then starts liking Kojima and sucks her boobs. Maternal instincts going to kick in? In the aftermath, Saki teases that her son is good enough to be her partner. Oh, she’s serious about it too? Kojima dismisses it although she is embarrassed thinking about that kissing incident and brushes it off as an accident. She gets the wrong idea seeing Satou laying the futon and seemingly inviting her to bed (it’s for Shio) and scolds him he should at least wait till he graduates.

Episode 3
What the f*ck is Kojima doing in Satou’s room?! Saki called her over to celebrate Kojima moving into her new place. But at their home? Saki seems to have an ulterior motive when she lets Kojima drink a bit of alcohol. Now she’s totally drunk! She shows this photo album in which she was a plain and shy girl. Then she points out to this kid (Satou obviously) who was her motivation to become a teacher. Something about he jumped down a bridge to prove he has climbed into adulthood and she too jumped down to save him. Of course they were okay and despite that adulthood thingy didn’t work, but somehow Satou pointed out it made her brave enough to talk to him. As she is still unaware of who this kid is, mom blurts out the truth. Is Kojima mad? In fact she hugs him and has always wanted to meet him. Yeah, still under the influence. With that, Saki sneakily hopes she can ‘take care’ of her son. Wink, wink. Mom will let them be together alone. Kojima is all over him and when she finds his porn mag, she thinks he is into girls with big boobs and starts stripping so as to let him have her way with her. Then mom is coming back in and Satou really needs to stop this ambiguous blowjob scene. When she wants him to transfer water via their mouths, it hits Satou that if the school finds out about this, her life will be over. Before he could put some sense into her, she kisses him. Mom must be smiling to see them ‘advance’ this much. Oh please do continue. Sorry for interrupting. Next day in school, Satou gets scolded and reprimanded by her when he tried to call her onee-san as she told him to. He thinks she completely forgot what happened last night. Actually she still remembers and is just embarrassed he called her that.

Episode 4
Satou is supposed to be on a family vacation. But why the hell is Kojima here too?! Apparently dad got work to do so instead of letting this extra ticket go to waste, Saki thought of inviting Kojima. After all, she is going to be family soon, right? With Satou being dense, mom tells him she is hinting that she likes him and do as he pleases with her. Yeah, mom wants to go shopping… So first order of a beach outing is for a guy to put sun lotion on a girl’s back, right? As he applies them, Satou gets worried if she likes him and Kojima accidentally blurted out she likes him. This panic causes him to accidentally grab her boobs. Embarrassed, she runs into the water but gets her leg cramped. Then she thought she got bitten by a sea snake. Did it bite near her crotch?! Don’t worry. Satou will save her by sucking and spitting it out. Damn, that face. Did she climax? Did she have a good time?! In the aftermath as they attend some party reception, Kojima thanks him and it is one of the most angelic faces he has ever seen. Not that he has seen this side of hers either. They see a wedding in progress and Satou hopes they can come here alone after he graduates. But she scolds him that there should be proper order for things. Kojima goes out drinking with Matsukaze. She is happy to see Kojima getting along well with Satou. Unfortunately Matsukaze laments her own happiness. She likes Rin Suzuki and nothing has happened since the 3 years that passed. They’re not getting any closer.

Episode 5
Now that Satou is dating Kojima, he can’t hang around with his lunch buddy, Suzuki. Poor guy. But don’t fear, Matsukaze is here to accompany him! As they share their food, Matsukaze gets flustered and falls into the pond. In his bid to catch her, he rips her skirt. Oh dear. A bit stuck, he tries to pull her out but she’s in a freaking weird position with her legs open. It’s like God wants to see more of this perversion hence we got Suzuki accidentally switching on the water fountain for water to spray into her ass, her shirt button becoming undone and when he pulls her out, her panties got stuck so… I think that’s enough ecchi for today. On the train home, it is crowded as usual. But Suzuki is shocked that Matsukaze is here too. Oh yeah. Her shirt caught in the door. She tries to remove it but as the train turns, she loses her footing and clings on to him. Boobs pressed against his body. Oh, did I mention her buttons come undone too? Yes, boobs in the flesh against his body!!! In order to protect her, he turns her around but now she’s got her boobs pressed against the window. Does this look like some hentai rape scene? Before they reach the next stop, he hopes to button her shirt. But why is this button not fastening? That’s not her button! OMG are you playing with her tits???!!! Not sure if she climax but down the next station, a staff thinks Suzuki molested Matsukaze due to her clothes in disarray. Matsukaze tries to pass themselves as a couple but Suzuki will not allow this. However she misinterprets this as she doesn’t turn him on and ‘dies’.

Episode 6
Suzuki is ordering a fast food set when Matsukaze is also here. Suddenly it rains and neither brought their umbrella. Lucky for them, Suzuki’s younger siblings, Rei and Suzu brought one. Suzuki offers to share. Because Suzu didn’t like the toy that comes with the lucky set, she throws it away and it ends up in Matsukaze’s cleavage. Damn, she gets turned on by its vibration? When a truck is seen coming, Suzuki has all of them hide behind the umbrella but the handle got stuck in Matsukaze’s ass! In the end, Matsukaze runs the rest of the way home. Back home, her sister, Saya chides her for buying another toy with the lucky set and she should act her age. But Matsukaze says this isn’t a child’s toy. It’s an adult toy! Oh man, she’s right in some ways. When Matsukaze and Kojima are drinking. They got drunk so Satou brings the latter back. This has Matsukaze falling asleep and dreaming of the first time she met Suzuki. She was already late on her way to taking an exam to become a teacher and her high heels broke. Suzuki who was working nearby as a construction worker, offered to help carry her although she was first terrified at his face. Carrying her on his back, he ran all the way. Of course with Matsukaze’s bra unhooking in the process, it was one wild and weird ride. They reached in time and he even was kind enough to fix her shoes. That was when she started falling for him but he left without giving her a chance to thank him. Matsukaze wakes up, shocked to realize Suzuki is carrying her back. Satou called him about this. Although Matsukaze has never got the chance to let him know her feelings, at least she manages to thank him.

Episode 7
Matsukaze, Saya and Suzuki meet Takashi Takahashi of another school to plan for their joint festival. Unfortunately, Hikari Hazakura barges in feels up all over Takashi and teases him which of the sisters she likes. Weird. Takashi goes home and is shocked to see Hikari sleeping at his place. I suppose the heater in her place is broken. Then she pulls him in and hugs him while she sleeps. Takashi narrates they have been childhood friends but Hikari has always been ‘bullying’ him and treating him like a toy. Now that he is grown up, looks like things haven’t changed. He tries to break free but somehow unhooked her bra. He tries to put it back but now he has full view of her boobs. Worse, she pulls him in. Full face boobs. He can’t break free since she is strong and somehow ends up sucking on her tits. When she wakes up, he thinks he is done for but she pats his head and thinks he is longing for mama. Good news is that she didn’t get mad but bad news is she doesn’t see him as a man. When she leaves, Hikari is actually embarrassed of it and thinks his male instincts have awoken. It will be bad if he continues to dominate her like this. Hence she brings him adult shopping. Lingerie shopping. Yeah. She forces him to pick a set and because he is so embarrassed and conscious of this awkward situation, he hands he a see though set. She’s getting embarrassed as she puts them on. Suddenly Takashi takes her hand to run away from this place. Don’t worry. He already paid for it. Oh my. Hikari running through the mall in her undies! So when Takashi realizes too late, he tries to help cover her but flops. The embarrassment look on her face is priceless. WTF escalator handle rubbing against her pussy until she can take it no more… In the aftermath, Hikari forgives everything since they’re adults. Just when Takashi thought she has changed, then again, she might still be the same Hikari who never grew up as she childishly mixes her soda drink.

Episode 8
On a field trip, because Takashi is still conscious of that day, he accidentally falls into the river. Although Hikari tries to pull him back up, she also falls in. They take shelter in a cave as a storm is building up. However with Takashi freezing from hypothermia, Hikari has no choice but to strip herself and warm him up with her bare skin. Yeah, thank TV for that. Suddenly Takashi feels thirsty (not of the sexual kind!) and starts sucking her tits! She tries to pour some barley tea for him but spills it over her lower half. Oh my, Takashi going to drink that filthy pool now???!!! When everything is settled, Takashi barely conscious thinks about his ‘tortured’ past with her but there were also many times she took care of him when he was sick. Because of that, he says he loves her before falling asleep, leaving Hikari panicking all by herself. Suzuki is at the cultural festival. With Matsukaze. Naughty Hikari teases her that she likes Suzuki and quickly handcuffs her so she could participate in this game of hers. Hikari shoves the duo into a room to do whatever they want since the key is inside here. In the room, Matsukaze wonders if Suzuki heard what they said. To her relief, he didn’t. But he just lied because he actually did and is in shock if Matsukaze really likes him. Because of that, he fumbles and the key drops out of his hand. The key falls and unhooks her bra?! HOW THE F*CK CAN THIS HAPPEN???!!! Better still, the key gets stuck in her butt!!! WTF???!!! HOW???!! HOW????!!! Matsukaze has him close his eyes so she can guide him to take off her panties (her hands are cuffed, remember?). Can’t blame this tall guy since he gropes her boobs first. After he manages to take them off and the key falls off, man, he should’ve seen her orgasmic face… In the aftermath, he apologizes despite she doesn’t mind all that trouble. Then she accidentally mentions she loves him and upon realizing this, she runs away in embarrassment. Suzuki has confirmed she does have feelings for him but worries about their teacher-student relationship. But after seeing Satou-Kojima and Takashi-Hikari, I guess no worries. Everybody is doing it too.

Episode 9
Saya and Takashi are supposed to patrol the school grounds. Because Saya views Takashi as manly, this makes Hikari jealous. She is going to make him embarrass himself but she accidentally falls through the floor and gets stuck. As they go to get help, Hikari won’t let him leave. He too falls through. With the hole in the ground getting bigger, Hikari is now left hanging. Takashi tries to support her but she needs to pee. Conveniently there’s a bucket. And please pull down my pantsu too so I can do my business. After this embarrassing situation, Hikari thinks she can solve this by also making Takashi wet himself?! However he leaves with the rest and this makes Hikari think he has abandoned her. In actual case, he is too shy to face her. Later, Hikari is in a bear mascot outfit and taking out her frustration by interrupting couples. However this backfired because they got closer instead. Now she becomes a target of other boys and girls who want to be bumped by her. She runs and hides but Takashi knows where to find her. A little commotion and I don’t even know how they ended up in a 69 position inside her suit???!!! It’s for some sleazy fanservice for Takashi to be rubbing against her naked body. I don’t know how they got out but Takashi made an uncool confession he loves her and in return, she makes a selfish declaration he belongs to her. Meanwhile Matsukaze is still trying to find the bear. She thinks she hugs it and declares her love for Suzuki. Only, she is hugging the real Suzuki. He somewhat accepts her proposal and even suggests they get married in the future. Too much for her to handle as she passes out. Is that from shock or happiness?

Episode 10
Kou Tanaka is jealous that his friends are dating their teachers. He vows to get his own girlfriend and then they can all go on a group date. Can’t blame him. The parfait café he works in… All macho men behind the kitchen!!! So freaking gay!!! On his way out of the kitchen, he accidentally spills some oil over his teacher, Chizuru Tachibana. He fears this school nurse as she has no expression and has a reputation of not caring for students who seek treatment. It gets worse as she nonchalantly takes off her top. Panic, he trips and somehow has his hands slip onto her boobs. Because he sprained his ankle, he can’t get up. More boobs fondling until she has to cover his face. After getting off, though she wants to treat his ankle, he tolerates the pain to go get help elsewhere. It seems Tachibana notes she has failed again. As she talks to Hikari, her goal is to get closer to her students. Hikari advises to change her facial expression because no one can tell what she’s thinking with a face like that. On Christmas Eve, Tachibana is in Tanaka’s home! Sexy Santa? In her bid to get to know him, she shows him a video she records of herself every Christmas. What a lonely Christmas… Thankfully this year she doesn’t have to be lonely. She has a penchant to write her name on everything she owns too. Then accidentally a sexy clip of her. Tanaka panics. Cake drops. She saves it but her ass now ends up on top of his head. Don’t even know how the champagne popped and sprayed into her ass! When he sees her name written on her pantsu, I guess that’s enough for tonight knowing about her. In the end, they exchange presents. He gives her a teddy bear and quickly writes her name on it. What does she give him? Her pantsu!!! Merry Christmas, lover boy! Of course later we find out she mixed up with the actual present.

Episode 11
How did Tanaka end up with Tachibana on Iwagaki Island? Apparently she won some grand prize raffle and shared it with him. At the beach, she starts stripping. Don’t worry. She’s got swimsuits under. Too bad no swimming sign. Don’t they know not to play too closely on the cliffs? Because of that, Tachibana slides down and what do you know? Her bottom came off. Tanaka dives in to help her out and realizes too late her nude bottom. As he tries to push her back up, naughty hermit crab got stuck in her boobs. Tanaka tries to take it out but ends up pinching her nipples! Did that feel good? After getting out, they did a lot of things together. This has Tanaka start thinking if he has fallen for his teacher. That night when they’re supposed to go stargazing, it rained. Taking shelter in a cave, obviously something needs to happen. They both fall deeper into the hole and your guess is as good as mine who they’d end up in that ambiguous position. They can’t move freely due to stalactites. Careful. Don’t want to destroy them. As Tachibana moves slowly, it’s your perverted excuse to somehow lose her clothing from all that tight crawling. Best fanservice view for Tanaka? I don’t know how, it ended up with him sucking her tits. Thanks stalactites! Although the rain clears up, it is still cloud. But don’t fear, the cave now looks as starry as the sky. Tanaka accidentally says out loud he is in love with her. However he feels disappointed seeing Tachibana views him more of a student than a man. So he thinks. Because she feels embarrassed enough and won’t let him look at her.

Episode 12
Tanaka really wants Valentine’s chocolates, eh? Yeah, he really waits after school to at least receive one. None! So sad. Only if the blizzard didn’t hit town. But what’s this? Tachibana freezing from the cold outside?! So as they warm up inside, Tanaka spots a chocolate from her but thinks it is from Hikari since it is the same packaging that Takashi got. She decides to share with him but damn it melted all over her tits! Cue for Tanaka to slip and land himself sucking up the ‘chocolate fondue’! When Tanaka confesses he likes her and wants to go out with her, she rejects. Shock! It gets awkward between them but it seems Tachibana can’t say something and she hopes he will wait until after graduation. During graduation, Tanaka gives his speech. He’s crying not because he is graduating, but rather he got rejected! So sad. Tanaka’s friends are at his place. Somehow the rest of the teachers too as they make cake. Somehow Tachibana gets flour all over her boobs. As she changes in Tanaka’s room, cue for mishap to happen. I don’t even know how the fishing reel ended up tying her up and everything!!! Tanaka goes to get scissors to cut it but Tachibana fears Hikari will come in and see this awkward position. Thank goodness Tanaka cuts the line in time. Tachibana then hugs him but she is shivering. Now she can finally say it. She too loves him and wants to date him. She is waiting for graduation day because now he is officially no longer her student. Finally happy ending for Tanaka! As spring arrives, the quartet of pairs are shocked to discover each other dating. Damn, is this sakura spot the best place to make out?

Nande Ero Ni Sensei Ga?!
Wow. Teachers really ending up with their students? I guess no adult men could give them a greater love than their students. These are really cougar ladies. Let’s just hope that others will not discover about this affair. Because it would really become scandalous for a teacher-student relationship to be busted. Only Tanaka-Tachibana looks valid since Tanaka has already graduated. So you’re a real man now. Go do whatever you want with your girl! The rest still have to thread carefully until they at least graduate. Let’s hope their relationship will not also be busted because of the preferential treatment they get in class. You know, I pass instead of fail you because you’re my lover boy.

Sometimes how the pace flows or the absurd things that happened dangerously borders hentai logic. Though still very much soft porn. Basically the plot is how students end up in very ambiguous and embarrassing situations with their teachers. So how do you do that? Here. As seen, the weirdest and most illogical of moments that defy science and physics happened right here. It’s never going to happen in real life (although the chances aren’t remotely zero) and the way all those accidents keep piling up, damn they are either the most blessed students or the most bad luck teachers. Like as though fate is pulling a cruel prank on them to be together. You know, that stupid cupid instead of firing his normal arrow of love instead missed and that’s why the teachers get sexed up here. Yeah. It feels a lot like that. Especially how every skit starts with the student being surprised their freaking sensei is here. How the heck they always end up in the same place?! I smell a conspiracy going on…

The only reason why this isn’t hentai is because no penetration was done. Uh huh. Fanservice galore of tits, boobs and crotch shots in our faces! But oh yeah, no f*cking of dicks entering pussies, that’s no hentai. This series is so sexy and ecchi enough that there is a censored version. The one that I watched of course. And you’ve guessed it, you want to see those delicious tits without the censors, pay some money and support the BDs. Poor guys like me only get to use my own imagination ;p. The things is, those censors are already annoying but sometimes when the scene is too risqué, that censor can actually take up the entire screen! Good luck trying to guess what the heck is happening. Depending on how zoomed in the sexually charged scene is, the censor size can vary. But don’t worry. The censor designs are tailored to that particular teacher so here’s your consolation. Heh. Maybe it’s time to break the piggy bank for the BDs…

I have this theory why the plot is so. You know for all of us that went to high school, there is always that strict and snobbish b*tch teacher that we seem to hate. Or perhaps there is that young beautiful teacher whom we had a crush on but find it hard to approach. This anime feels like taking out that sort of fantasy with them. You know, the strictest of the strictest teacher is still a woman and what a way to bring her down than getting into this sort of weird perverted situations. Yeah. That should show her! Admit it. You at least thought of that once! And then there’s this nearly twisted porn logic that if you pleasure your teacher good enough, she’ll fall in love with you. That’s short of that porn logic of f*cking a girl until she loves you. Basically you feel it’s like that. After getting into enough embarrassing perverted situations, I suppose these poor teachers can’t marry someone else because this student of theirs have seen their everything and since they aren’t that bad, hey why not date them?! Students and teachers dating aren’t something new if you go all the way back to Onegai Teacher and Okusama Wa Joshi Kousei. But this want waits for things to become too sexy before they become a couple.

The characters aren’t really anything deep and in fact are typical clichés of many other characters you might find almost everywhere. Heck, you can even tell how normal they are because their names are among the most common of commoners in Japan. We have the typically normal boy Satou. Then there is the delinquent looking Suzuki who is actually a gentle giant more than anything else. Then we have the meek ‘little brother’ type in Takashi. Finally the bespectacled senpai in Tanaka. There you have it. Just 4 ordinary guys who used to be single but they struck love lottery in the form of their sensei. Strange, huh? It’s not the popular girl in class nor their childhood friend nor the new transfer girl whatsoever. But their sensei. Yeah. Love is so weird alright. But if you really want to know more about them, the mid-intermission has all their bio and details. Not that you could actually use it for anything important. Except maybe for our sensei’s vital 3 sizes statistics ;p.

The teachers also feel like common personality types cliché. Of course there is the strict demon teacher who has this reputation that sends shivering fear down everyone’s spine just the mention of her name. That’s you Kojima. And look how she got ‘tamed’. Funny, right? Love really does change a woman. But in her case, lots of pervy situations before that. Then you have Matsukaze as the nicest teacher whom every student would like to get. Because she just want to give thanks to a certain student she is indebted, she ended up in many situations that outrages her modesty. Any students would have given his thanks for that! Also, despite her meek nature, it is hinted that Matsukaze could be the most perverted of them all because you can see some hints that she really wants to get it on with Suzuki but gets disappointed when this guy is such a gentleman. Then the brute, crude and sporting teacher in Hikari who hides all that true emotion behind this outburst. All those embarrassing situations must be a sign to tell her to be true to her feelings, huh? And finally the taciturn and emotionless teacher Tachibana who wants to get close to a student but gets more than she bargained. I guess she opened up a lot more than required, eh? Damn, and I thought these teachers ending up with their students instead of their peers of the same age shows how sad their love life is, huh? Oh well. Better to have found love than none at all.

Art and animation look okay and pretty standard. I suppose it is a good thing that the creators are into mature woman because all of them have really big tits. Even if the creators don’t have that kind of fetish, just imagine a really flat teacher in all those perverted situations. I don’t think it would be that stimulating. So yeah. Those humongous boobs really do have a role in here. A role to be molested, squeezed, rubbed on and the likes. Thanks for the oppai! This anime is animated by Tear Studio, a relatively new studio whose other works for now include Oushitsu Kyoushi Heine Movie and Lord Of Vermillion: Guren No Ou (joint with Asread).

For the voice acting part, looks like Yuuko Gotou has reached her quota of voicing a character in an anime per year. Got to take it easy on that voice now after recovering from that lupus illness. As Matsukaze, this is her most prolific character she voiced in recent years as those like in Overlord and Kobayashi-san Chi No Maid Dragon are just very short cameos. Voicing Matsukaze as the main character feels like she is ready to make a comeback as she still hasn’t lose her touch on that trademark voice of hers. Probably we will get to hear more of her this year than wait for next year. The rest of the other casts are Sumire Uesaka as Kojima (Sanae in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai), Ryouta Suzuki as Satou (Yuuga in Dorei-ku The Animation), Toshiki Masuda as Suzuki (Kirishima in Boku No Hero Academia), Shizuka Ishigami as Hikari (Renge in Kyoukai No Rinne), Kazutomi Yamamoto as Takashi (Yumoto in Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu Love), Nozomi Yamamoto as Tachibana (Chihiro in Imouto Sae Ireba Ii), Yuusuke Kobayashi as Tanaka (Subaru in Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu) and Yuka Ootsubo as Saya (Kyouko in YuruYuri).

While the opening theme, Bon Kyu Bon Wa Kare No Mono by Sumire Uesaka sounds generic, it is the lyrics that are quite naughty if you pay attention to it. When you have words that tempt you to touch boobs, thighs and ass, it’s like some sort of ‘warning’ on what to expect when you watch this series. And it also sounds like some sort of desperate attempt for the guy to do anything to her if he becomes her boyfriend. Boy, sex really sells. The ending theme is Ringo-iro Memories and there is a different version sung by the teacher in focus of that episode. The song isn’t too bad but it is filled with lots of sound effects that sometimes to me sound a bit trippy. Maybe all that ecchi spammed in my face had some sort of psychological effect on me? Oh heck. I’ve been a pervert for a long time! You can’t control me like that now! Can you?

Overall, if you harbour that sort of naughty fetish with your teacher, this series finally answered your wishes. Or if you feeling horny and want something naughty without resorting to legit porn or smut, this is your short term solution (though, there is another ecchi series in the same season about a student too horny to study: Midara Na Ao-chan Wa Benkyou Ga Dekinai – but with much lesser ecchi fanservice). Ecchi lovers will find this enjoyable because the lack of any confusing story plot and no brainer ecchi situations just for the sake of mind blowing fanservice will have you break into a smile as well as go WTF in your mind at the same time. Now I know why when we stumble into our teachers outside school, we get that same panicky feeling. Who’d knew that this kind of situation might arise? I guess we all learn something from watching this. Sex education is best learnt via hands on approach!

SEX! Sex education!!! Aha! Got your attention there, did I? I guess there is this myth that guys think about sex many times a day. Probably even more so when you’re a healthy young guy. Even though you will be labelled a pervert and other less than desirable nicknames, I suppose guys don’t really give a damn and continue to ‘stay true’ to that depravity. But what happens if it is a girl? Can girls actually think about sex too? Societal norms say otherwise. Therefore in Midara Na Ao-chan Benkyou Ga Dekinai, our titular character is trying to get into a good university and she might have actually no problem in doing that had not those dirty thoughts on sex keep propping up in her mind! Too much sex on your mind! Too horny to study! Oh dear. What would others think about her? What would society think about her? Oh, did I mention her dad is an erotic novelist? Oh dear. Prospects don’t look too good…

Episode 1
When Ao Horie was young, she read aloud in class how her father named her. Let’s say it was due to a porn scene! Now in high school, she is trying to get into a good university and live a modest life. She doesn’t mind sacrificing her youth for that. Unfortunately, Takumi Kijima always keeps bugging her. Ao further narrates how she hates men as she thinks all they think about is sex and that women are sex objects. Hence she believes Kijima has a hidden agenda to get in her pants. When she returns home, you mean this puny little Happosai clone is Ao’s father and not her grandpa?! He bugs her for his tits shaped pudding. Or else he threatens to introduce himself in her school. You see, Hanasaki is a very prominent erotic novelist. And his home is called House of Lewd. Yeah, I can see why she hates her father and all men. But her father thinks she is in heat. In school, Ao is tasked to bring Kijima his uniform at the infirmary since he injured himself. As usual, she heard them talking dirty stuffs. When she goes talk to him, she thought she saw him blush. She thinks of slowly letting know how much she despises him when Hanasaki tries to interrupt by showing place cards that he supports her to get f*cked! Ao tries to prevent Kijima from seeing this and accidentally has her boobs all over his face. As she tries to explain herself, damn daddy uses a fishing rod to lift her shirt and expose her bra! Ao thought she is done for but surprisingly Kijima covers her up and tells her to value herself more. He promises never to do something like that to her because he loves her. Ao is left in shock. Did she understand what he said? Despite assuring herself she doesn’t need all this crap, she can’t help feel worried about this.

Episode 2
Ao heard the guys talking about how you can tell a guy’s dick size by the size of his hand! You curious? What’s this about being big also means pain? Hence she asks father what it means! Hanasaki admits his works are pure fantasy and pleasure because if it is written like reality, no women would enjoy his works. Anyway he continues to describe and Ao concludes that the dick must be really a lethal weapon! She tries to dress up in her studying gear to concentrate but comes off as sexy since the dress is too tight and skirt too short. Later when Kijima is napping, Ao gets curious to touch his junk. So you want to touch it or not? Kijima grabs her hand and allows her to touch. Well, she’s just feeling his hand. She tries to reject him that there is no space inside her but he argues if you don’t try, you won’t know. Oddly, Ao wants time to think about this. It gets worse when Hanasaki gives her stacks of books to read on fetishes. Yeah, she brought the wrong book to school. So when Kijima wants to study with her, she throws the book at him. Obviously because of the same cover, their books get mixed up. Only later she realizes this fouled and goes to look for him. Yeah, she sounds ‘desperate’. At the park, Kijima talks about the English vocab book but Ao misinterprets he has read this bondage book. Hence wanting to study outside she thought wanting to f*ck in public! He wants her to teach her too?! He teases her a little by not giving back he book. Because she looks cute. When he does so, only then Ao realizes he didn’t actually read the book and she got the wrong idea from the start. Strangely, back home she continues to read dad’s works and despite not feeling anything about it, her heart still feels restless whenever she thinks about Kijima.

Episode 3
Ao doesn’t want to go on her school’s field trip but Hanasaki forces her and hopes she gets into one of those orgies! As Ao avoids Kijima, the rest thinks he got rejected and that he should go for an easier girl. But when he mentions Ao has her cute side, this makes the other girls curious if something happened between them. So they bug and force Ao to join in their party later. Yeah, Ao thinks it must be that free show orgy! So as she goes to Kijima’s room to turn down the invitation, he is not in. But she heard him coming back and hides in the closet. He thought the closet door is stuck and puts his hand in to feel. Ao is devastated he is feeling her thighs, though he can’t make it out. Surprise! Not a cat! WTF does he know how furry a cat feels?! Anyway he is curious on the part he touched so as they struggle, she lands on top of him. Of course everybody sees this. Maybe postpone the party? Ao wants to come with them to whatever. Yeah, out of the frying pan and into the fire. Now she’s got to do kimodameshi in pairs! And you know the setup… After Ao finishes doing her business in the toilet, Kijima realizes her skirt is stuck up her panties. He can’t tell her straight in fear it might hurt her. But giving indirect hints, she’s too dumb to notice either. Hence she misinterprets he really wants her lower half. I guess the thighs weren’t enough. So when she accuses him of targeting her body, he won’t let her go back to crowded place and of course this ‘frightening’ scene looks like as though he is going to rape her. He’s taking off his shirt already?! Ao trips as she panics. She laments and succumbs to her fate. Please do it gently. Then he helps her up and covers his shirt over her waist. Your panties were showing. She ‘died’. Not too sure if she was relieved she wasn’t getting raped or she really felt like an idiot. I think it’s the latter.

Episode 4
Flashback shows after Ao made that ‘name revelation’, she was bullied by kids. Hence she hated her name ever since. When a photo of Kijima sleeping with a beautiful girl surfaces, mad Ao goes to confront him. See how cool he is playing football? It gets worse when a senior confirms he went to a mixer and brought a girl home. I think he is being gay with Kijima but that’s it for Ao. Don’t talk to me ever again. Later she bumps into that girl in the picture. Actually she is Miyabi Takaoka and one of those kids who bullied her. Though Miyabi confirms that Kijima confessed he only liked Ao, because they aren’t dating, Miyabi takes this chance that Kijima is hers for the taking. She scorns Ao for being confessed by good guys and then get cocky about it. Later Kijima calls to explain but Ao was harsh to him even if she didn’t intend to. Ao then sees Miyabi talking to Kijima. It’s none of her business but she gets worried. Dad for advice about guys losing interest in girls? When they doubt their own feelings and when women won’t believe them. But Ao rather believes in his joke when a cute girl who accepts after giving it one shot! Miyabi takes Kijima out to the park and wants to take him to this dark place but they got separated. Similarly, Ao is supposed to be out dating shopping with dad and got lost. So in this dark haunted house they bump into each other but it’s too dark to see each other’s face. Then a flash of light. With Hanasaki calling out for Ao, Kijima gets the wrong idea that she is seeing another man. Same case for Ao when she hears Miyabi calling for him. Then they just part ways. Can’t break up when you’re not dating in the first place! Miyabi tries to badmouth Ao although he doesn’t really care. Miyabi gets desperate, telling him off that Ao is just cocky because she knows he is waiting for her answer. She just likes how he makes her feel. She then hugs him and says her emotions for him are clear. Somehow Ao got concerned and tries to find Kijima. She sees Miyabi hugging and kissing Kijima. Outside a love hotel.

Episode 5
Ao is disheartened seeing Miyabi take Kijima into the love hotel. Back home, Ao is even making a countdown of how long they are staying?! So while she fantasizes the horny things they are doing, she passes out from the bath heat. She has this weird dream that Kijima saved her and when she wakes up, she is in her room and Kijima sitting around?! Forced to wake up when dad starts reading some horny lines. When Ao starts ranting away, Kijima shuts her up to listen to his explanation. Right after Miyabi ushered him into the love hotel, the clerk rejected them since no high school students allowed. Outside when he asks if she is friends with Ao, she got mad and stormed off. And about that kiss, he blocked it with his hand. Ouch. Kijima will not do it with anyone he loves so Ao then accuses him of saying that to all the girls and he is targeting her now because is easy. Kijima refutes that and admits HE IS A VIRGIN!!!! With him avoiding her at school, but Ao is being extra nice to him to teach English. WTF she must be nice to virgins?! What kind of philosophy is that?! After that, Ao ponders about Kijima being such a popular guy but still a virgin. She wonders if she is his first love and if he wants her to be his first. Why? Because he’s a virgin. Kijima gets a bit mad as he corners her. But with Ao in tears and claiming it will be her first time for everything, she eventually runs away. Miyabi is having a nice coffee. Yeah, it soothes away her pain especially from the past of cry-baby Ao who keeps clinging on to her. Well, history repeating itself now because Ao comes crying to her and complaining how normal people don’t respect virginity. WTF? Cuppa ruined.

Episode 6
Hanasaki has been meditating for days for inspiration. This worries his editor, Souichirou Yabe since the deadline is coming up. Even Ao is worried for him? As she also hopes for Yabe to take care of his health, Yabe has her accompany him to a meat festival. Yes, food meat and sexy meat all in one place! Yum! Not sure about the logic of the desire for flesh is connected to sexual appetite but damn this looks like some den of depravity to her! Ao gets lost and bumps into Miyabi working here. All seems fine until she too sees Kijima working here. It really irks her that they look like they are close enough. When Kijima meets Yabe and learns who he is, it’s his turn to get jealous. So it becomes a game to see who knows Ao more? Miyabi takes Kijima away to return to work while Ao continues to worry since Yabe mentions the close proximity of the duo is the first step to having sex. Oh Ao, you sure got a vivid imagination there. Ao ponders about Kijima. He is supposed to like her, huh? She tries to brush everything off but we know her body is saying a different thing. When Kijima finds Ao again, he learns that Yabe went to Tokyo University and is smart enough to tutor Ao. Did that hit a nerve? With Yabe calling for Ao to return home, Kijima doesn’t want Ao to go home yet. Instead he carries and kidnaps her! WTF?! At the park, Ao wants an explanation. Here’s your explanation. He is going to make her fall for him.

Episode 7
Wow. Is Ao really fantasizing what Kijima said? Thanks to that, she got failing grades for her prediction tests. Karma? Ao is at the beach since there is a study group. Apparently Kijima is also here. WTF Ao fawning over his abs and nipples but have the audacity to accuse him of being an exhibitionist before her?! Ao turns down whatever plans Kijima wants to spend with her due to her study group starting in 3 hours. However Miyabi will not allow it since if she leaves, Kijima will also leave. Also, she needs to do something about Kijima’s annoying friend, Masaki Uehara. Can that guy ever shut up? Ao claims she didn’t bring any swimsuit but Miyabi takes her to the store and gets a real sexy one. With that, Kijima and Ao head out to the sea. Miyabi is only allowing this because she has done some prank. She snipped a little on Ao’s top. It could fall off anytime now… Ao and Kijima talk over a few things. She thinks of giving him a chance and after a few flustering moments, she thinks he is going to f*ck her in the sea. Nobody can see, right? She prepares for this but of course you know, Kijima then paddles their way back to shore. Her study group is going to start, right? Oh Ao, why you looks so disappointed? Very disappointed indeed. She also feels embarrassed as this virgin did not have any sexual intentions and that it makes her the one who is hard up for sex. As they argue, the time has come now for her to drop off. Damn that view. Ao descended into shock that she missed her study group.

Episode 8
Wow. Ao is really frustrated that with all those flags, nothing actually happened, huh? Why, she even fantasizes if their genders were swapped, she would dominate him and would have done it 10 times!!! Oh my! Is this your true self, Ao?! When he texts her he has an upcoming football match he wants her to see, Ao starts to overthink that he might not have enough energy to get it up. Uh huh. So she painstakingly goes to gather all the libido enhancing ingredients to make the greatest libido enhancing bento. Since dad discovers this, he adds his secret formula to enhance its effects. As Yabe offers to tutor her, Ao realizes the date clashes with Kijima’s game. She realizes she must choose what is important to her. Uhm, so Kijima is important? Whatever happened to university or bust? So it’s bust, huh? Anyway, Kijima’s team lost the game and I suppose Kijima was pretty pathetic. He is really depressed but thanks to Ao and her bento, he gets his liveliness back. With Ao fantasizing about him, be careful what you wish for because suddenly Kijima is now on top of her. He continues to caress her thighs, leaving Ao in shock but also partially feeling good. Could Kijima score this time? Nope. Missed. He restrains himself. He realizes something is wrong with him today and she should leave before something happens to her. She asks doesn’t he want to do it with her? A person whom he loves? Of course. But he values her over his desires. She might sound disappointed and sad and wants him to stop inviting her from now on. But she realizes that at this rate she can’t study and won’t be able to fit anything else in her life.

Episode 9
WTF is this creepy comfort doll for Ao?! One of dad’s healing products, huh? Not having it! On to serious stuff, she thinks Kijima hates her now for rejecting him. In school, he avoids her like a plague and when Uehara talks to her, Kijima tells him not to bother her. At home, Ao tries to focus on her studies but she can’t. Kijima on her mind. Because of that, Yabe punishes her by making her wear a maid outfit. I approve! As Yabe leaves, Kijima arrives at the doorstep. He wants to see Ao and asks her about her feelings one more time. He knows he is in her way of studying so if she says no this time, he will give her up forever. Yabe agrees since she might progress if she feels better. As Ao continues to blame Kijima for hindering her studies, of course he heard that. Kijima promises not to bother her anymore because he loves her. He leaves as Ao ponders if it is the end. Realizing he gets angry for her sake, she stops him and wants him to stay. Okay. He hugs her and carries her to bed. Horny mode on? He starts feeling her stomach but she upgrades that by letting him touch her boobs. Are we finally doing it?! Moment ruin when they realize Hanasaki is filming them. Though Kijima apologizes for trying this, Hanasaki gives him motivation. So he wants him to f*ck his daughter? Ao has come to accept the fact that this is going to be a horny relationship. She waits for Kijima to prop up that question. Kijima promises not to disappoint her and her dad. That is why they are going to study together and get into the same university! WTF???!!! Oh Ao looking so disappointed. She was expecting to be asked out, huh? Looks like the drought is going to continue as Kijima vows to hold it off until she gets into university. At least Ao is now motivated to pass ever damn subject. You can do it!

Episode 10
Ao isn’t interested in the upcoming sports festival. But after hearing Kijima will be on the cheerleading team and cheering for her, you bet she is going to participate. Hanasaki wants to come but Ao forbids him. Flashback shows when he was around, he distributed his erotic works or sold his weird libido drinks. Needless to say, it embarrassed the hell out of her. Since he is still adamant to come, Ao calls Yabe to lie about dad seeing another editor, hence increasing his workload. This puts a strain in their relationship and they didn’t speak ever since. During the sports festival, Ao feels guilty for saying too much. She feels better when Kijima gives her some words of encouragement. To her surprise, dad is here. Looks like he finished up early because he too wants to see and support her. During the race, Hanasaki joins Kijima and his team to cheer for Ao. She is embarrassed but it makes her run faster. On the last lap, Ao is losing stamina and is in danger of being overtaken. That is when Hanasaki screams to her, hold your G-cup and run faster!!! WTF???!!! Deafening silence. Everyone stood still. This allows Ao to rush past the finish line and go beat up dad. And that’s how she won the race. In the aftermath, she bans dad from ever coming to her school Ever.

Episode 11
Kijima wants to study together for the upcoming test but Ao refuses citing that it will lead to sex. I wonder who is the want who is hard up for it. But I guess since he asked a few more times like she wanted, I guess she relents. Alright! Sex on the cards! So she orders silky panties from the internet. Damn she’s fast in taking the delivery. Even Hanasaki is suspicious but Ao is faster. As they study together, Ao is anticipating he will jump on her. An hour later… Nothing happens! Yeah, this guy is actually studying! She tries to add ambiguous words into equations as hints. Unfortunately this guy is dense. Even switching to the more obvious literature, I guess Kijima’s vocabulary isn’t that wide. Time to give it slightly straight to him. She hints they are both alone in this room. There is something he wants from her, right? Oh yeah. The quiz. Whoever scores the highest gets to order the loser to do anything he/she wants. Not what Ao is looking for but maybe he’ll ask her to do lewd stuffs. What does Ao want from him? Being a sadists! What about Kijima? Make bento for him. WTF?! You trying to kill her vibe?! Disappointed girl thinks the power of virginity has made him choose this sh*t so she’s going to teach him. Uh huh. Literally, teach him and tutor him in his studies. Suddenly Ao’s stomach starts feeling pain. She became sick and missed the test. As revealed, Ao isn’t used to wear low waist panties like this silky one so her stomach got cold. You blaming silky now, girl?!

Episode 12
Miyabi is hounding Ao if she has kissed Kijima. To her relief, she hasn’t. Miyabi then boasts about kissing despite never having done it herself so when Ao asks her about it, she tries to cover it up by pretending to kiss her. Oh my. Is this turning yuri?! Thank goodness they stop. Otherwise their first kiss is each other! Ao clears her thoughts about this so she is able to concentrate on studying. But all that comes crashing down when one evening in classroom, Kijima tells her how beautiful she is. She tries to stay strong and not be deceived but then realizes whatever she does, nothing will ever happen. Why the sad look? Hence when she brings about asking Miyabi’s question that she never kissed him, Kijima asks if she really wants one. He can give it to her. What looks like him being a master baiter, it is surprisingly Ao who is the one who kisses him! Embarrassed and apologetic, Kijima in fact wants more. Here’s another one for the road. Now she can’t concentrate on anything! Despite seeing Kijima means kissing, however when she heard a few girls talk about how guys who are good kissers are also good in ‘that’, this makes Ao suspicious of Kijima. Hence she sulks and accuses him of being a great kisser but a virgin. So it’s not okay if she is the only girl he wants to kiss? Later as Ao rues about it, she might get another chance. Kijima admits that was his first kiss and he also felt good kissing her (meaning, Ao is also a great kisser?). He pecks her forehead and hopes he can kiss her again. Before she could give her permission, here comes to big one! Uhm, should they be kissing somewhere more private instead on a pedestrian bridge? So all is well, end’s well, right? Well, Ao just failed all her mock exams… Damn!!! I guess being a good kisser doesn’t make it up for the grades.

Squalor Me Bad – I Wanna Sex You Up!
And so both Ao and Kijima continue to remain a virgin. It feels like the final episode toned things down because before that it was all about dirty minded thoughts and sex. I know we expect them not to actually do it but then they decided to take one step back and make a fuss about kissing? Are they happy with just that?! Are we happy with just that?! Oh well. I guess before moving on to much greater acts of love, I suppose kissing which is the most basic of the basics should be ‘conquered’ first. Maybe that is why you see them freaking out so much especially Ao who starts having indecent thoughts. So theoretically if she masters kissing, then perhaps the next stage will be slightly better to handle. Please note, there is an opposite correlation between studying and sex! Choose your destiny!

It feels weird that it was established at the start that Ao wanted to live a decent life and even gone as far as to state she hates men. With the force of porn logic descending into this anime, this is somewhat quickly overturned and Ao suddenly becomes some sort of sex maniac trying to get laid but not make it look like she’s desperate for it (which she is). Like, WTF?! My guess is that if Ao was established to be a horny b*tch in the first place, it would not have been so much fun. Because I have a feeling that people love to see b*tches like Ao who think they are so high on the moral high ground to come stumbling down, eating their own words and become perverts themselves. After all, we have to remember the name of this anime. Hence it is the plot and running joke that Ao can’t study because of her indecent thoughts that obstruct her focus.

Some might find this distasteful because it paints Ao in a bad limelight. Like as though she is a sex object. But then again, who is the one thinking about sex? Imagine if their genders were switched. That would be even more distasteful and offensive. The irony that guys can be horny and think about sex but not girls. Even if it did play out this way, it would most likely end up in hentai. So don’t worry, people. While there may be seemingly dangerous scenes that would most likely look like as though it is going to cross the line, I assure you it is all in Ao’s head. All in your head. You pervert! Yeah, even some of the titles are a little suggestive like “Kijima Lacks Stamina”, “Kijima Can’t Wait Any Longer”, “Ao Can’t Protect Her Lower Half”, “Ao Needs More Than Fantasies” and “Dad Can’t Offer Support” to name a few. But don’t worry, it won’t be as dangerous as “Ao Can’t Ride The D!”. Haha!

Anyway, this whole story is about Ao trying to find her own romance in her life. Though she gives excuses she wants to go to a good university and live a decent life. You know that is all BS and crap, right? Fortunately, Kijima is the only guy who resonates with her and since they spend a reasonable amount of time together, naturally Ao’s horny instincts would have taken over. You might find it ironic that as the daughter of a famous erotic novelist, she would have at least some sort of knowledge or even control over her horny feelings. But I guess your true colours can only be seen in real situations. So it goes to show that Ao is still very much a virgin like her crush counterpart. She might think so and so, which is sexy in her mind. But come the real deal, she freaks out. Or sometimes getting disappointed because Kijima didn’t act out the way she wanted. Well, too bad. Guys can’t read your minds even though girls really want them to. No wonder this is one of the main causes of relationship breakdowns.

Kijima being a decent guy adds in painting Ao in a bad light that she is a horny b*tch. Remember, what is the name of this anime again? Because of societal norms, Kijima trying to be a gentleman and put Ao’s feelings first than his own desires, makes him look like some sort of loser. Don’t you think? Well, that’s the catch-22 situation. Because if Kijima gives into the desires of the flesh, it takes the fun out of the series. Again, this isn’t exactly hentai to begin with so the so called funny parts and jokes come from all those sexy near misses and misunderstandings. All in all, what Ao wants is just to be truly loved. Because she has not experienced real romance in her life and furthermore having her dumb dad as her only ‘love expert’ as reference, this is why she thinks that sex = love. Though, it isn’t wrong to say that sex is one of the main components for love. So if Kijima truly becomes the gentleman and true love of Ao’s life, perhaps she can do away with this dirty minded thinking. But then again, the series will lose its charm and funniness. So carry on being dense virgins, both of you!

I feel Miyabi’s role to provide some love rivalry feels underutilized. We definitely know that it is eventually going to be Ao x Kijima. But Miyabi’s actions to snag Kijima don’t feel like she is really putting real effort in it. Like as though she is just doing it to annoy Ao and make her feel like a loser. I could be wrong on this since they don’t want to put too much focus on this distraction and instead concentrate on Ao x Kijima. I mean with only a dozen episodes and each episode is half the running time than your standard anime episode, you’ve got to make the most out of it. So when the series reaches the end of its season, viewers want to vouch for Ao x Kijima pairing.

Yabe also feels a bit unnecessary. Becoming Ao’s tutor only serves as a role to make Kijima jealous and show us that he has a soft spot for Ao. There is nothing better for a man to make a move faster when there is another seemingly another male rival or competition. Otherwise this guy isn’t near a threat to Ao x Kijima unlike Miyabi. I was hoping Hanasaki would be the best character ever because you know, eccentric dad. But he comes off mostly as weird rather than funny. Just when you think he is supposed to be funny, then he comes off as annoying instead. Even if he is mostly a dick, but at important times, he provides the best dad advice for Ao. She is after all his only daughter. Daughter that has a name with a porn reference! Ouch! Truly a love-hate relationship…

Art and animation are pretty decent (yeah, the irony). A few ecchi scenes here and there, no wonder Ao’s character is designed to have such big boobs. Fortunately, not big enough that I would consider hentai material boobs. The oddest looking character goes to of course Hanasaki. This Happosai clone seems to be a midget and that size even when Ao was born! Damn, baby Ao as big as him?! Now that he has grown old and white hair, he looks more like a crazy character that ran away from some crazy cartoon. Seriously. Come to thinks of it, he looks like a crazier version of that Colonel Sanders fairy in Hitoribocchi No Marumaru Seikatsu!!! This series is animated by Silver Link who did a few animes ‘similar’ to this such as Watashi Ga Motenai No Wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera Ga Warui, Kyou No Asuka Show, Onii-chan Dakedo Ai Sae Areba Kankeinai Yo Ne, Imouto Sae Ireba and Strike The Blood.

I want to point out that for the voice acting part, Kenjirou Tsuda really takes the cake as Hanasaki. His character’s main voice sounds like as though he is talking because his balls are tightly squeezed or something! Initially it sounds hilarious enough that I was trying to imitate that voice myself! He is unrecognizable in this voice but come to his serious mode, that low sexy voice of his is definitely him. But kudos in making Hanasaki really sounds sleazy and weird. The other casts are Azumi Waki as Ao (Maika in Blend S), Junta Terashima as Kijima (Nakano in Animegataris), Juri Kimura as Miyabi (Tsugumi in Nil Admirari No Tenbin) and Takashi Kondo as Yabe (Train in Black Cat). The opening theme and ending theme, Wonderful Wonder by Edoga Sullivan and Koi Wa Miracle by Spira Spica respectively sound like generic anime pop. Nothing special for me.

Overall, a pretty decent (oh, the irony) ecchi rom-com anime. If you don’t want too sleazy a fanservice anime like Nande Sensei Ga Koko Ni (because this one has too much spamming of boobs and crotch in your face), this one has the right mix of sexiness… I think. Because not everybody thinks a romantic dinner and a walk in the park as the most romantic idea. No sex here. But sex still sells. Although technically for laughs. The next time you feel too horny and can’t concentrate on studying, perhaps it is nature’s way of saying go get screwed first. Who knows? You might study and absorb better after sex because all those brain chemicals released. And if it did not work, oh well, I guess life has screwed over you then. Now you know why sex scandals never turn out well…

Ah… I thought I feel so refreshed after having skipped one season of pseudo porn. I thought I was going to be so over this deceiving low quality porn trap after they showed that gay BL porn sh*t last season but apparently it never went away. So you bet when they return back to hetero sex porn, I’ll be there ‘curious’ to check out what Araiya-san! Ore To Aitsu Ga Onnayu De would be. Oh yeah. Now we’re taking sex to another location: The public bathhouse. I guess it’s the only place where girls are allowed to get naked and walk around with their bare tits showing. You know the rest then. Porn logic always rules at the end of the day.

Episode 1
Aoi Yuzuki is a talented volleyball player. Souta Tsukishima… Not so much. But he does like to gawk at her in action. His daydreaming causes a ball to slam in his face and Yuzuki teases this nice block. During the break, Tsukishima’s grandpa’s public bath house is featured in the news. He claims the water has slimming effects. First time Tsukishima hear something like that. However the girls especially Yuzuki are eager to try. Tsukishima calls out to this nonsense because if they want to slim down, stop eating! No prizes to guess that he got beaten up by Yuzuki. Back home, looks like grandpa broke his back so he wants Tsukishima to take his place. Although it is just as a washer (araiya). Tsukishima goes into the women’s section thinking only old ladies will show up. WTF full of cute young chicks and from his volleyball club! WTF they don’t recognize him?! Yeah, the towel on his head makes all the difference. He spots Yuzuki and thinks of getting his payback and goes to wash her back. Wait a minute. Is this actually allowed?! Is this actually happening in real life?! Men allowed to wash a woman’s back in the women’s section?! Is this not just for porn logic?! I’m confused! Anyway, Tsukishima takes advantage of this by rubbing more than just her back. He continues to molest every part of her body, including fingering her pussy. WTF Yuzuki doesn’t scream rape and tries to hold it all in?! Was Tsukishima so good that she climax?! Her friend, Mei Sasakura teases her if the slimming is going well. If so, hurry up and slim down so she can confess to Tsukishima. Tsukishima is left in shock and wondering if Yuzuki likes him. He didn’t see this coming as Sasakura asks it’s her turn for a back scrub.

Episode 2
Tsukishima wonders why the volleyball captain and ace who is popular with all the guys wants his service. So as he gives his normal scrubbing, Sasakura then tells him to just lose the tower. She knows it’s him. That voice, that build and of course this place belongs to his family, right? This means she also know what he just did to Yuzuki and from what she heard, he must have been very good. So if he doesn’t want her to expose this, give her a better service than Yuzuki?! Gee, that’s literally saying, please f*ck me! So Tsukishima wastes no time as he starts groping and fingering her. Yeah, he is going into overdrive mode and why does Sasakura sound like she’s having sex???!!! Can’t it be that Tsukishima is that f*cking good?????!!!!! And then somebody is coming. Better hurry and climax. Sasakura throws herself on the floor and just in the nick of time when Yuzuki came in to look for her. She sees Tsukishima and realizes he was the one who washed her. Dismayed, she runs away. Meanwhile Sasakura is lying on the floor taking a breather. Best sex not sex ever, right? Yeah… This guy is so amazing…

Episode 3
Sasakura tells Yuzuki that she also got the special slimming massage from Tsukishima. You know, just to let you know. Yeah. He was good at it. Bye. This leaves Yuzuki worried. Does Sasakura have a thing for Tsukishima too? Anyhow, she blames Tsukishima for this. So during volleyball practice she lands her serve so hard on Tsukishima that he almost died. But she gets concerned when Sasakura rushes to his aid. After Tsukishima gets treated at the infirmary, he goes to the toilet. WTF Yuzuki is bathing there?! Apparently somebody switched the gender signs outside. WTF?! Instead of being mad at him here, she asks if he really did it to Sasakura. Tsukishima admits he did and prepares for the worse. Worse indeed. Because she wants him to do it to her again! And hence the usual treatment of groping and fingering. But this time more on the latter. Yeah Yuzuki, do you not know this is not part of the massage! In the end, she climaxes and Tsukishima is left to ponder because she didn’t resist, does she actually like him? No time to think because other girls are coming in.

Episode 4
Yuzuki takes Tsukishima to hide in the shower. The girls stream in and don’t suspect a thing although Yuzuki did make her presence known to them. With Tsukishima hiding, the problem is that his face is now close to her naked ass! He then hears the girls tease Yuzuki about liking Tsukishima since she constantly attacked him during the game. Yuzuki keeps denying although the rest know very well this open secret. Because of that, this turned Tsukishima on and now he can’t contain his horniness and starts f*cking her!!! WTF???!!! You mean he is willing to risk getting caught???!!! It’s not like Yuzuki doesn’t want to get f*cked by him, right? I wonder how she is going to get away with making all those weird noises. Strangely, all her friends aren’t even concerned how strange she sounds? Even if they never thought if she was having sex, did it not cross their minds that she might be in pain or discomfort or something?! Isn’t it weird that she hasn’t come out of the shower before them?! They just left like that! My, some friends. I guess it was the best sex (and several French kissing too) for them but clearly in the aftermath, Tsukishima knows he is screwed (despite screwing over Yuzuki). However Yuzuki starts acting like a tsundere. All that has happened was just a fluke and it’s not that she likes him or anything. Kawaii…

Episode 5
Tsukishima learns Yuzuki is sick. Sasakura suggests he goes see her on behalf of the club and right away he does so. That sly smile when Sasakura also tells Hidemoto Takasugi to do the same. Yuzuki’s sister is delighted that Tsukishima is here and quickly brings him to Yuzuki’s room. I guess it’s to catch her in the act of masturbating!!! Tsukishima’s slow reflexes means he got volleyball in his face. Sister leaves them alone as she attends to Takasugi at the door. For some odd reasons, Tsukishima hides under her blanket. With Takasugi sounding like a fake smooth gentleman that he cares for he, Tsukishima gets worried if Yuzuki likes him. Takasugi then takes his leave but because sister made tea for him, I guess he’ll stay longer. I guess Yuzuki isn’t the only one sick because Tsukishima is sicker! He is going to rape her?! Is it because he is jealous thinking she likes Takasugi!? WTF logic is that?! And so he starts f*cking her and since sister heard the ever louder humping noises, she turns up the volume of the TV channel. Max! Did Takasugi hear anything? Damn this guy is enthralled with sister’s beauty. But sorry folks. No second sex act here. So are Yuzuki and Tsukishima done and have satisfyingly cum? Good. Because sister barges in without knocking to announce Takasugi has gone home. I guess Yuzuki is feeling alright now that she can go back to school tomorrow.

Episode 6
Oddly, Yuzuki is avoiding Tsukishima. Is this over? The class has a field trip to the hotsprings and Tsukishima’s perverted friends drag him to go peep on the girls. They are put a stop by Takasugi and despite their lame attempts to get him to join them, Takasugi sounds like he has an ulterior motive of his own. Because he won’t let them see Yuzuki’s naked body and asks if it is alright with Tsukishima to begin with. Speak of the devil, here she comes. The guys ‘sacrifice’ Tsukishima so they could escape. With the girls coming in, Yuzuki has an idea to hide him. Yeah, dress him like the araiya and nobody could recognize him! Uh huh. They also believe this araiya works here! This means giving his special massage to the other girls. Something Yuzuki isn’t too fond. When she goes to the sauna, Sasakura invites Tsukishima to follow her there. She wants him to give Yuzuki his special massage. To motivate him, she start getting yuri on Yuzuki! WTF?! Any normal guy can’t resist this temptation so he starts going down on her pussy. Yeah, it becomes a weird threesome with Tsukishima and Sasakura pleasing overly sensitive Yuzuki. Sasakura admits she also loves Tsukishima and if Yuzuki doesn’t do anything about it, she might steal him. After the threesome, they hear the girls scream. There is a peeping tom around.

Episode 7
Sasakura admits that she also likes Tsukishima. So what she did there with him to Yuzuki was punishment for her. It’s for not being honest with herself. Yeah, you mean trying to force and hasten her feelings about this dude by outraging her modesty?! Okay. Fine with me! Haha! Sasakura will help the clear the area so the duo will have a chance to get out. I guess the wait got too long because Tsukishima now has weird ideas of his own. Uh huh. He is going to f*ck her! Extra special massage! Dick massaging your pussy is the best massage ever!!! Oh Yuzuki, you’re feeling so good, why you wanna have him wait for what?! Just cum already!!! So once they’re done achieving orgasm, I guess their heads and hearts are clearer and open to talk. Sort of. Yuzuki ekes out what Sasakura said was true and that she does like him. Change of mind as she feels embarrassed and ‘downgrades’ it as not hating him. Whatever. Sasakura comes to check on them since they are taking too long and sees them knocked out from the ‘heat’. The body can withstand all sorts of weird sex positions but a mere confession does not? That’s porn logic for you…

Episode 8
Yuzuki is letting Tsukishima rest on her lap back in their room. Sasakura leaves them alone and goes to reprimand those naughty peepers. You mean they really regretted it? Maybe they didn’t get to see any tits. Yuzuki thinks Tsukishima is still out so she narrates why she fell for him. He never gave up on his volleyball training and faced adversity alone. He even trained hard outside school hours by himself. At the same time, Yuzuki was at the crossroads in her volleyball passion. Thanks to Tsukishima’s effort, it helped her regain back her passion. So it’s that simple? She puts her face close to his but since Tsukishima heard all that, he takes her by surprise by kissing her. And hearing her true feelings makes him horny. Uh huh. F*ck time! Better still, they do it on the veranda in a lewd position. I guess it doesn’t matter as long as they both had fun. After all that, Tsukishima is about to confess he likes her but interrupted by the cliché moment of the handphone ringing. Bummer. But this makes them laugh because it’s just so strange that despite all the hentai they did to each other, they are still shy in saying those magic words. That’s “I love you” for those who are thinking more of “I wanna f*ck you”. But not impossible too for this genre.

You Gotta Hand It To Him, He’s Got A Touch Of Class!
Instead of being washed clean and free from the filthy sins of the flesh, I was flooded with more corruption and depravity instead! You know there isn’t anything much when there are only 8 episodes. Even far less than that Joshi Ochi one (which had 9 episodes). Maybe f*cking in the toilet or bathhouse isn’t as exciting as other places… Just saying… So I guess the lesson of it all is that if you are not sure about your feelings of the person you love, just f*ck each other enough and then you will soon realize you love each other! Hey, got to remember porn logic weaving its magic here!

I know porn logic rules here but I am very baffled by the fact that there are male araiya in a female area! My guts tell me this is BS and that it doesn’t exist and it is only here that it does for the sake of porn. Because I did my ‘extensive research’ online and could not even find any article whatsoever that there are legally male araiya for females. Maybe I don’t know how to look properly online but that’s not the case. So for a bathhouse that actually provides araiya is one thing (because for the old and disabled who can’t reach their backs) but for the opposite gender? In this instance, young high school girls who aren’t freaking out to see a young male their age in their section? So Tsukishima isn’t so bad looking himself so what if the araiya looks like a perverted fat otaku slob? Yeah, that changes everything. Therefore it can only be truly porn logic with Tsukishima being allowed to wash the girls’ back like that without any sort of legal repercussion. Otherwise, don’t you think there would be a lot more (loser) guys trying to land this job? Uh huh. It’s like your legal molesting occupation whatever.

Unlike in previous of such pseudo porn series I have watched, although it is true that the more times you f*ck the girl, eventually she would come to love you, this is somewhat not the case here. Because you can’t go with that flow of logic when you already have the girl liking you from the start! That is why Yuzuki allows Tsukishima to have his way with her. Touching her body and other sensitive and personal areas without so much as to scream rape. Because she already secretly likes him. Ah, there’s the catch. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the other female characters in those other porn animes are any different since they didn’t call the cops or report for rape, allowing those main character men to continue doing whatever they want. Just as long as you can make her feel good, everything else doesn’t matter. Everything is acceptable. Viva porn logic!

The Tsukishima guy isn’t anything extraordinary either. Just some normal high school kid after all. The weirdest part is how he shows his love for Yuzuki by sexing her up. Hear a heart-warming and touching story from her? F*ck her! Oh yeah! Don’t think. Just do it! I just love it when girls don’t question this strange invasion and just let the guy do as he pleases. Hey, this guy might not be good in volleyball but at least he is good in making her feel good! If sex is an Olympic sport, this guy would win the gold medal and easily leave all his competitors in the dust! Also, Yuzuki must be an easy girl to please since she orgasms so easy. Can’t lie to us. Look at that ahegao face every time she gets f*cked. So yeah, girls always love a guy who makes them feel good.

But looks like this series has reduced the age of the characters having sex to high school students. In those other series, they were usually young working adults or at least one of them is. Now we have both high school students engaging in unholy activities. Yuzuki is your typical high school girl in love and the only difference is that she took a step further and got herself violated. Good thing she liked him. Now she has another reason to love him further. Wasn’t it a good thing that she was ‘mean’ to him so as to get his attention? And then he ‘got back hat her’ with just desserts? Look where this brought them now? Ah, I just love a good love story. *Sniff, sniff*. I want to note that the synopsis described Tsukishima as a clumsy guy. I guess so. So clumsy that his dick eventually slipped into her vagina!!! HAHAHA!!!

Also like in some of the previous porn titles, the other side supporting characters are a distraction and not totally required. I mean, if every episode is about Tsukishima and Yuzuki getting f*cked, how boing is that? Oh wait. That happens in every episode. What I meant to say is that with the inclusion of third wheels, it only serves to ‘intensify’ their feelings for each other. You get worried the other guy or girl likes you and what better way than to show that you love her/him even more is by f*cking her even more intensely. Hence Sasakura is like the backup pussy if Tsukishima and Yuzuki fail and how kind of Sasakura to really let Yuzuki keep Tsukishima. Doesn’t she want her for himself too? Damn, best friends are such best friends. Maybe Sasakura does love Tsukishima a lot more than she puts in words but with her pushing Yuzuki, it might be some sort of penance for her since her best friend has got the boy she likes, all it’s not lost. Acceptable. I think. So if Yuzuki loses her way, all she needs is to give some yuri fanservice to bring her back to the right path. Damn I really love porn logic at its finest. Then there’s the Takasugi guy who is just so irrelevant and his role is probably to make Tsukishima a bit jealous and realize his feelings for Yuzuki. I mean, she is the only one who lets him f*ck her so hell no some other guy is going to take that place away. Takasugi might look dependable but sometimes I feel his character comes off a bit as a retard. Doesn’t this guy like Yuzuki’s sister? That’s another story to tell.

On a trivial note, the ending theme Renai Sensation by Yuzuki and Sasakura feels weird. I don’t know if this pop song is infused with some kind of weird punk rock music or something because it sounds more like a piece of cacophony. It’s just chaotic. The tune especially the synthesizers felt like somebody just simply mashed the keyboard and they got lucky they come up with this ‘tune’ which is as equally chaotic and frenzied like the entire song. And there is one weird line in the lyrics that goes, “I would like to be impregnated by your smell”. WTF?! I know that verse is talking about bathing and shampoo with your love but this just really WTF.

Overall, nothing really new or exciting. The irony that washing and bathing are symbolized as something clean but this show makes it all so dirtier. Perhaps the mind is the hardest to clean. Haha! I guess I have watched quite a few of these every season in the past for almost 2 years to form some sort of immunity. Not sure whether it is a good or bad thing. Because I fear that it would take a kinkier porn to turn me on! Yikes. I hope that’s not true. But that will be something that only I will find out in the future… Anyhow, I can’t say that this would be the last pseudo anime porn I will watch and that I haven’t really washed my hands off such genres. I mean, it’s not that I love to watch anime porn and only doing so out of curiosity and listed as a ‘legitimate’ anime in the seasonal chart as the synopsis sounded ‘legitimate’ (hey, it didn’t say ‘sex’ anywhere, right?). Honest. I hope I didn’t rub that the wrong way.

You mean that preview of the future wasn’t just a joke?! Hence, Otona No Bouguya-san (Rimen) turned out to be extra episodes for this series. They are original episodes that was only streamed exclusively on Japan’s online service store. I guess somebody needs to push the sales of those risqué bikini armours. Somebody needs to convince cosplay enthusiasts that it is okay to parade around in this lingerie-like costumes all in the name of cosplay.

Episode 1
Suddenly a huge building that gives off an air of capitalism pops up next to theirs. Kautz tries their instant order and delivery and what do you know? Before him is a so called nude glasses. Putting it on, he sees through Narden’s clothes. Nice abs. With Lilietta calling him, Kautz is tempted to look. When he does, suddenly a demon named Beherin pops up to tell him that he has looked into too much and now the world will be nothing but transparency stuff. In order not to make fans complain again, Kautz is given some semi-transparency. Then he hears the voice of Lilietta (Nao Touyama, rather) who to look into the eye’s mind like how fans visualize the anime in their minds. With that, Kautz is now fully back. Then he sees Lilietta and Flearika engaging in some hot sexy yuri stuff in hot sexy outfits. Yeow! Please bite my ear too! Then it goes downhill because he sees Narden even more muscular and with strange tattoos all over his body. It gets worse. Who the f*ck is this overly macho dude? FFFFUUUUU!!! It’s Mokuku???!!! WARGH!!!!! This shock has Kautz drop the glasses. Thank goodness, back to reality. Nightmare not over because sexy Flearika with a devilish look wants to try them on. Kautz won’t let her in fear there will be no turning back for her.

Episode 2
The store doesn’t have any customers today and the gang believes that capitalistic building has stolen their customers. Time to do recon. Wow. Inside sure looks pretty nice. Everything all in 3D magic. When they enter this Ganma room, suddenly they are locked in. They thought up ahead is a flower picture but it turns out to be some suction fan. Run! Kautz is at risk of being sucked in but Narden saves him and gets, uhm, chopped up? Now he only exists as some purple shadow. Then pops up this monster that probably was copied from that Minecraft monster. It attacks! Narden gives Kautz that very risqué boomerang underwear. I don’t know about this logic to fight nude with nude but whatever. Kautz powers up and… He gets punched in the crotch. Ouch! Somehow they manage to get out thanks to Demon Lord’s magic and even laugh about the fun adventuring time.

Episode 3
When the gang returns, they see this beautiful mysterious lady, Aotsu D Emina. Because she finds their shop fun, she wants to try it out too. Hence she creates another similar shop next door. Time to see who does better business. Yeah, all the customers flock to Emina’s store and none for Narden’s again. Flearika gets this weird idea to do battle with her like an idol because, well, she looks like an idol. So the battle is saying the title’s name? With this going nowhere, Lilietta suggests they join forces. Their practice seems to work and when they do the real deal, they are all over the place and with great cacophony! Yeah, so fail that it’s funny! Kautz does not accept this sloppiness and has them remember how it is done. Hence everyone collaborates and this time it turns out in beautiful unison. In the end, Emina starts glowing. So is she some sort of angel (or anime only character, rather) who came just to tell them that working together like this will make them successful? Just remember that and they’ll be fine on their own. She disappears and hopes one day they will meet again. Then everyone gets philosophical about meetings and partings. As long as you don’t forget about Emina, she’ll one day return. Uh huh. Always remember, ero is romance!

Capitalism Is Romance (Amen)!
Oh well. It was fun. And these extra episodes weren’t even about selling armour. Not even the back story of Narden’s master, Rose that I was hoping for. Heck, they’ve even got the cheek to introduce a new character in the very last episode although to be fair, the final episode was longer than the usual and lasted about 7 minutes. And the lesson learnt from this new character played by Yui Ogura in her trademark cute squeaky voice is that they have to work together in order to survive. Yeah. Not a bad business strategy but I guess that is the basics. Now we know why Narden’s shop is always in the red. Not only he doesn’t know how to do business but all his employees don’t know how to work together! It’s amazing how they survived the first season. Therefore these extra episodes feel like a big product placement to promote d Animate Store service as you can see lots of references and trivia made and appearing throughout the 3 episodes. Perhaps they pumped in some funds to help keep Narden’s shop alive, huh? Heh. No wonder the heavy advertising and promotion of their product placements here. So will Emina come back in the future? If they need another cute employee to push sales or some morale booster, maybe…

I don’t know. Now it seems we have trust issues because the final episode once again trolls us with the preview of the future. Shall we believe them that there is the second season coming? Oh geez. I don’t know. I don’t really know. It’s not like I dislike this series or anything. If there are more future episodes, I would surely like to watch them and see more sexy Lilietta and Flearika moments… Oops, I mean a lot more sexy risqué armours… Oops, I mean some funny stuffs. Yeah. Anything is possible in the realm of anime. All you need to do is remember and never forget! Ero is romance! Well, if business is failing and they need to remind us to buy more of their products, maybe they will pump out more episodes, enough to make another season. Eventually, it all boils down to sex and money. Because sex sells and it brings in the dough. And you can thank capitalism for that!

Although Imouto Sae Ireba Ii Specials came out over a year ago, somehow I kept procrastinating about watching these 2 minute shorts. I mean, it’s not like I was really crazy about the series nor did I find it that interesting (except maybe about a certain tax accountant) that I needed to go watch the specials that were came out with the BD purchases. So before I really forget that these specials really existed for good, finally I have summed up my lazy bone courage to finally watch them. After all, it wouldn’t kill me to binge watch the entire series in one sitting that wouldn’t even last me 20 minutes.

Special 1
Itsuki needs Alice? Who? His new imaginary sister. He wants to sleep on her lap and clean his ears. In that case, Nayuta is more than willing to do all that. However Itsuki wants Chihiro to do them instead. The rest are shocked that he prefers a little brother to do it. Why? Because Chihiro is simply better and he doesn’t have high hopes for the rest. They take this as an insult and vouch that they too can do an equal if not better job. Hence Itsuki holds a competition to see who the best is. In the end, the winner is Chihiro followed by Haruto (Nayuta is dead last). With the guys occupying the top spots, the girls fear he is gay… Oh sh*t…

Special 2
Nayuta seeks Itsuki’s help to practice interviewing her since she has one coming up soon. She has written a few questions so feel free to ask them while recording them on a video cam. As Itsuki does so, it soon dawns to him that the questions are very risqué and questions that seem to fit if you are going to film a porn shoot! Even Nayuta is acting sexily and flirty based on the naughty questions asked! The final question has her taking off her clothes so Itsuki is done with this trick but Nayuta insists that once the interview is over, it’s time for the real thing! Please make me feel good onii-chan! The resisting force is strong in Itsuki as he chops her head to put a stop to this. What a killjoy…

Special 3
Nayuta wants to cook for Itsuki as promised but she sucks. Hence she desperately seeks Miyako’s help. After all that begging and puppy dog eyes, I guess she relents. Not sure if Miyako doesn’t know how to cook too but we see snippets of them going through trial and error. Yeah, just put anything you think fit into the pot… When Itsuki tastes it, it is absolutely delicious. Hooray! Success! However he points out the room filled with their previous failures. Hey, practice makes perfect, right?

Special 4
F*CK YOU ITSUKI!!!! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR SH*TTY PREFERENCE THAT YOU LOVE NUDE GIRLS BETTER BUT HARUTO IS RIGHT WHEN HE SAYS MAIDS ARE THE BEST!!!!! THAT’S RIGHT!!!! MAIDS ARE ABSOLUTELY THE BEST!!!! Ashley notes his receipts from his visits to the maid cafes and Haruto insists it is for research to get references. Ashley thinks it is similar to a cabaret club but Haruto passionately explains how different they are. The maid uniforms are far from matters of sexual desires unlike the cabaret club where they emphasize on the women’s figure. While the latter offers conversation and alcohol, maid cafes offer food and the conversation at one’s own pace can turn it into a form of entertainment. Hence cabaret clubs satisfy carnal needs while maid cafes satisfy higher needs. That’s right. You go tell them, Haruto!!! Ashley then points out the irony of having maids in eroge… Haruto, please explain to these simpletons…

Special 5
Nayuta thinks Itsuki was engrossedly looking up female lingerie on the internet. While Nayuta is disgusted, Kaiko approves. The duo then start to argue if a G-string is an underwear. Nayuta then lists down what constitutes to be an underwear but as the more risqué it gets, Kaiko seems to still be approving them as underwear. From those beady types to the traditional fundoshi and even a leaf?! So basically as long as it covers your crotch area gently, it is considered so. With the duo continue to be in intense ‘debate’, Miyako then ponders if hand bra counts. Unfortunately this sparks a deep thought between the duo. Miyako regrets asking this. This is going to take a while…

Special 6
Chihiro is cleaning up Ashley’s office and as usual, does a fine job. When she notes how Chihiro was in serious mode the first time her office was cleaned, this shocks Itsuki because there would be no room as messed up as his. So they ask Chihiro whose room was messier first. Chihiro thinks and realizes that Ashley’s room was way worst. However Chihiro can sense that a tax accountant’s grin means you better choose wisely or else. Hence Chihiro says it is Itsuki’s, delighting him in the process. I guess it is win-win for everybody.

Special 7
Itsuki is in trouble. He can’t finish his novel in time. And Toki is already knocking on his door. He wants Chihiro to buy time for him. Stall him for 30 minutes. Tanomu! Hence Chihiro asks Toki about his editor job. Yeah, Toki went on a long winded explanation about it. Thank goodness for fast forward. Once done, Chihiro checks on Itsuki. Are you done? Need another 40 minutes! Are you kidding?! Chihiro tries to give him some wine but Toki doesn’t drink on the job. Then Chihiro asks him about customs. It’s a heavy topic but since he insists, Toki goes on blabbing. Thank goodness for fast forward. Finally Itsuki is done and hands it in. Back at the office, Toki realizes it isn’t really complete…

Special 8
Itsuki stumbles into Setsuna in the streets. So why is he shaking his butt? Some sort of divination that will tell you the footsteps of somebody that passed earlier on? So this leads them into the supermarket in which Setsuna divines how somebody will make nikujaga for the brother. Itsuki thinks a little sister will do that and is interested to follow Setsuna and learn more. Outside a wiper store, Setsuna divines this as an indication the brother’s room will be cleaned. Then something about forgetting to buy honey at the supermarket for some hidden flavour. Itsuki is more and more amazed of this perfect little sister and wants to see and be with this cutie. When the trail stops, turns out that person is Toki! Itsuki can’t follow any more and runs away. Back home, Chihiro tells him that he made nikujaga for him. And he also bought the honey… Yeah, it could be they actually followed Chihiro’s footsteps and it was just coincidence Toki was there.

Peace Is All You Need…
Short and funny. That’s all there is for some small laughs. So I guess the specials pretty much give a somewhat special focus on each of the main and side characters albeit I say special focus but that’s a very loose term I used here. Since all the titles are named as “(insert character’s name here) is all you need”. We don’t have one for Itsuki because he is the main character, I guess. The girls’ underwear discussion was ‘enlightening’, Haruto’s ‘education’ on maids are damning factual rights, Nayuta’s flirty sexy interview was just ‘inviting’ while Ashley’s spot was the most boring of it all seeing I had some little high hopes for personally the most interesting character of the series. All in all, as long as the characters remain the same, such fun moments can continue to last longer. So looks like the day Itsuki finds out Chihiro is actually his little sister might have to wait a little longer. Peace is definitely the best.

It’s that time of season again. The seasonal porn pretending to be part of the seasonal anime line-up. After last season’s ‘amazing’ porn, I don’t think the next season could live up to that hype. I’m not placing any much expectations on Shuudengo Capsule Hotel De Joushi Ni Binetsu Tsutawaru Yoru so I am only watching this just to prove my point. Heh. What a weird excuse. Hopefully this would make me want to stop watching the seasonal slut. Really.

Episode 1
Hadano and Minori Aizawa are colleagues and the company is having some party. Because they’re always fighting, they got kicked out. Not sure why they can’t go home at this time so they decide to rent a capsule hotel. For some reason, some idiot is still occupying Aizawa’s capsule and he’s a deep sleeper. No choice, she goes to share with Hadano. I guess all the other capsules are fully booked, huh? Because she dresses so skimpily and he caught glimpse of her delicious boobs, he starts showing his true colours as he rapes her. At least, start off by licking and playing with her pussy. Don’t yell or scream. Don’t want to wake the others up, do you?

Episode 2
Sex must be so good that the next thing Aizawa knows, it is already morning and she’s all by herself? That jerk didn’t even wake her up?! Anyway she manages to make it to work in time. Later Hadano’s dress design is complete and he thanks Aizawa for her help. Help not complete as he wants her to put it on. She has trouble with the zipper and calls for his help. I guess she didn’t learn. Because he gets turned on and blames her for seducing him. Yeah. Rape scene time. Don’t want to move too much or you’ll ruin the dress. Did Aizawa climax so hard that she screamed so loud?! Did anybody hear that?! So Hadano went overboard with this joke (JOKE?! YOU CALL THIS PUSSY LICKING RAPE A JOKE?!) and apologizes (yeah, like every man could get away with it with a sorry). He leaves her alone but Aizawa is feeling pretty confused… Yeah… Porn logic working…

Episode 3
The duo are to design some clothes for this tall but shy model, Kei Sugawara. As it is raining heavily outside, they manage to take shelter in Hadano’s car. He lets her wear his shirt. Uh huh. Too big and since it is soaking, it sees through her lingerie. Yup. Turned on time. Rape time. So now they’re going to do it in the back of his car, eh? Oh yeah. Aizawa now says it really feels good. Hell yeah! Third time’s the charm! Does this mean we can ‘upgrade’ to real penetration? Damn this guy is good that at the end of it, Aizawa wishes this moment would last longer. I hope all that literally didn’t finish too quickly.

Episode 4
As Aizawa ponders about last night’s weird car sex in the bathroom, suddenly here comes Hadano into the tub with her! Oh my. We’re starting with sex already. Yeah, she might be saying no but her body and face are saying yes! Just look at the mirror! Another fingering session, another success. Hope Aizawa doesn’t get burnt out and fever from it all. She feels weird that Hadano is acting like her boyfriend and even more so as he sleeps on her lap. WTF… Next day at work, it seems Aizawa gets chastised by a colleague because there was a mistake in the ordering and now she is stuck with thousands of material stock. Hadano apologizes and will take full responsibility for this. Oh, I can see where this is going, the price Aizawa will have to pay for this ‘clean up’…

Episode 5
Aizawa laments about her screw up. Yeah, you’re going to be screwed anyway, haha!!! Because she’s so confused and Hadano is showering her with nice sympathetic words, oh what the heck, let’s get it on with today’s porn. Yup, doing it right under the office desk at night where everybody has gone home! Heh, even Aizawa is starting to realize how much less and less she is opposing this. Well, like we care?! Next day as Aizawa is out with Kei, I guess she got too happy that he complimented her design so she didn’t see a car coming her way…

Episode 6
Don’t worry. Kei saves her. Now our female protagonist can still continue to get f*cked! Haha! Going back home, she sees sick Hadano stumbling out and collapsing on her. When he opens his eyes, he is in his bed and tired Aizawa sleeping next to him after nursing him. Yeah, I wonder if she had the strength to bring him back to bed and buy all those medication. Guess what? I guess Hadano is now well enough to f*ck her! Even if he isn’t completely healed, I guess the best way to beat his cold is sex! Don’t ask! It’s porn logic!!! He is so good that she doesn’t even mind catching his cold?! WTF are you even saying?! And to top all of that, Hadano whispers I love you in her ears. Oh Aizawa, don’t look so confused. You’re supposed to be ‘good’ at taking all this now.

Episode 7
After another long day at work at Kei’s photo shooting, Aizawa laments missing another fireworks festival. Yeah, I guess it was the same reason last year. Damn overtime work is killing Japanese! But anyway, Hadano takes her to his private cabin in the woods where he often works on his design. They put on their traditional Japanese outfit he made. Aizawa makes the damn mistake of quipping he looks cooler when he shuts up unlike when he is talkative. Yup, that’s all the sign needed for him to rape her. Yeah, table sex this time. Wow. Aizawa must have enjoyed so much that she’s actually saying she felt so happy!

Episode 8
I guess finally Aizawa admits it. She’s fallen for Hadano. She didn’t say if it’s because the sex but we know better. Because Hadano spots Aizawa is having a good time designing clothes for Kei, he decides to ‘reward’ her. Yeah, rape her in the pantry! Damn, he didn’t even close the door! Colleagues too busy talking to each other fail to notice people f*cking next to the fridge! Hello! Despite Aizawa feeling he is being roughed, damn she climaxes so fast! His tongue game must be very strong today. Later when Aizawa has finished the designs, Hadano relays the bad news that their superiors have relieved her from this project. She gets upset and is in disbelief since they have been working on this for so long. Hadano also snaps back that he too has put in a lot of effort. Aizawa so sad she just runs away. Oh yeah, Kei conveniently sees and hears all this.

Episode 9
Kei goes to cheer her up and before you know it, her blues are blown away. But did the blues transfer to him because now he is sad telling her how he always wanted to do something different by being a model. He is now focused on selling instead of doing what he wants to do. He thinks the most important thing is to make others happy. Uhm, but at your own expense? Isn’t that what’s happening? After parting ways, Aizawa apologizes to Hadano and realizes the important lesson of making others happy. You don’t mean letting others f*ck you, right? Too bad she had to say how Kei helped cheered her up and Hadano doesn’t like it. That’s it. Back alley rape time. Probably Hadano isn’t his usual and Aizawa doesn’t like all that she is feeling and pushes him today. Probably the first time sex with him sucks.

Episode 10
Such a hot day that the employees are complaining that the air-cond is not working. Yeah, Hadano will fix it and tells them to go home. Wow. They can go home?! Anyway as he fixes the air-cond, Aizawa comes to talk to him. He got distracted and falls over her. Oh dear. I think I can see where this is going. But first, he asks if he is a good boss! Why the serious question? Since he has this side, it makes her happy. Huh? Anyway, screw all that because it’s sex time. Damn, everything is so hot! Literally. Now I know why they call animals f*cking in heat! Haha! Damn, the heat must be melting them all the way till they cum!!! After sex, back to serious questionings. He wonders if she sees him as a co-worker. She worries their relationship will change if she tells him her true feelings. Then he throws down the ultimatum. After this project is over, he is going to tell her something. You mean with words? Not with your body and dick like this entire time?

Episode 11
The dresses are finally finished. When Hadano asks if she wanted some reward, why the f*ck did she blush?! Oh, so she expecting sex?! Looks like Hadano won’t betray our expectations and proceeds to reward, or should I say, rape-ward he with the best fingering act he’s ever done to her. Haha! During the night of the fashion show, Aizawa dresses up Kei and notes this is her favourite piece since it brought up a lot of memories. And then suddenly! I supposed it triggered something in Kei because he is so grateful to her for everything that he confessed he loves her and wants to forever be by her side! But catch up with you later, ‘cause I gotta hit the runway. WTF. A love triangle at this stage? Aizawa so confused. I wonder how Hadano feels about that since he is at earshot range of this conversation.

Episode 12
Kei is so hot when he takes the stage. Girls screaming everywhere! After the successful show, once again it feels like déjà vu. Because Aizawa has drank a lot and is a bit tipsy. Oh dear. Going to miss the last train again. When Aizawa says Kei confessed to her, Hadano cuts her off and wants to tell her something first. Unsurprisingly, he loves her. Unsurprisingly too, she hugs him and also replies she loves him. But what about Kei? She didn’t get to finish her sentence that she rejected him because she loves somebody else. Maybe that’s why Kei was so clear and focused on stage, huh? And is that the alcohol talking for Aizawa? And then Hadano kisses her. Oh my, get a room! Just like déjà vu, they crash at a capsule hotel. Yet again, somebody is sleeping in Aizawa’s capsule! What are the chances?! Why do I have this feeling this same guy never left?! And you guessed it, she has to go share with Hadano. Here is the clincher of why they will end up having sex: Because Hadano says it’s not like he does this with everyone else. Yeah babe! You’re so f*cking special! Let’s get it on! And I suppose they have ‘experience’ doing this before so they can have a less noisy sex…

Sex… Sex Everywhere!
Oh well, oh well, oh well… As per my expectations this is how it ends up. The basic porn logic of if you f*ck a girl long enough, she will eventually fall in love with you and let you f*ck her forever and ever. Happy ending. The end. I hope this will be the last ‘legal’ anime porn that I have to watch. But don’t place your hopes too much on me being good on my promise yet as I am known to have break them many times in the past. Like my taste for mecha animes but over the years I sometimes go watch them. So I supposed it is the same for this genre. Not surprisingly and expected, I am quite disappointed with this crap and the reason why I am not as disappointed as I sound is because I already lowered my expectations a lot from the start. Yes, it helps curtail and cushion the impact of crappiness very effectively.

I know many porn shows don’t necessarily have any plot but at least they have some sort of porn logic that make me laugh. Uh huh. Watching porn for its hilarious comedy gold ‘plot’ is one reason why I do so but I guess nobody would believe me. But for this particular series, there isn’t any of that. Just a group of fashion designers… Are they having some sort of problem with their latest project? And then out of the blue the boss f*cks the employee. I mean, WTF?! What?! WHAT???!!! Suddenly the f*cking comes out of nowhere for no absolute reason at all. I mean, like I said porn logic has anybody f*cking anybody anywhere. It just feels so weird. The slightest excuse is the reason why Hadano starts raping Aizawa. No reason needed except that this is an obligatory scene for every episode. Boom! Here’s your sex scene. It’s not like it is exciting too. It’s embarrassing to say this but after watching so many seasons straight of this kind of cheap porn, this kind of sex scene is really nothing. Damn, looks like my turned on level has risen. Dangerous. Meaning I might need even more dangerous and risqué porn for that same amount of satisfaction. But I’ll discuss this personally with myself on another day.

So what else can I b*tch about this series? Oh, do they need another third party for this? It is not like Kei played any obvious role and for the love triangle to come so late, I guess there’s your much needed drama. Because what else is a good time for Aizawa to ponder about the feelings of the men in her life. You got a superior who makes her feel good and on the other hand you got a good looking and seemingly innocent model whom I assume his love for her is pure. If Kei did end up making out with Aizawa, it would have been more of the same and he is no different with Hadano. So is Kei really integral to the series? Just like other colleagues in this assumingly huge organization, they don’t matter. In a way, I’m glad this shy tall model dude didn’t get tainted. It would really suck if suddenly there was an end plot twist and a threesome! Yikes.

I find it odd that the anime’s title is about having sex in the hotel capsule but that only happens at the start and the end. Otherwise, they are like having sex in almost everywhere else they are. Especially at office. I suppose it would be boring if they keep doing it in the hotel capsule. Literally you can f*ck anywhere in office. Just don’t let anybody find out. Not sure if Aizawa moaned out loud because I’m under the impression she does but because all the other office workers are like so engrossed talking to each other, they don’t hear any strange sounds coming from an unlocked room nearby. Yeah, so strange indeed. Might as well put the theme as some invisible man f*cking an office worker. Haha. And with the final scene of sex in a capsule hotel, looks like it is to remind us what this title was about in the first place. And what goes around, comes around! Haha!

Even funnier when you start considering the ridiculously long title of the series. It literally translates to: The Night When Me And My Boss Spent The Night At the Capsule Hotel After The Last Trained And He Passed His Fever To Me. Like… What?! WTF???!!!! WHAT FEVER????!!! Oh, don’t tell me the disease of loving sex is the fever he passed on to her. If a man can pleasure his woman so good like that, I’m sure she doesn’t want to be cured ever! Porn logic! So Aizawa became sick in terms of love sick? Craving sex from her boss despite she saying no but her body say yes? Oh Aizawa, you’re probably confused if love = sex but it doesn’t matter because as long as you feel good, everything is a-okay. Otherwise you would have reported this dude to the authorities and be part of the #MeToo campaign.

Overall, this was really disappointing to say the least. It wasn’t as stimulating as that ‘girl dropping from the hole’ one and not as hilariously absurd-cum-funny like that prison one. And about that next season anime porn that I was unsure if I was going to watch or not? Looks like I would definitely not be watching. Because I just found out that they’re going to take this porn thing to the next level as next season is BL!!! Oh yeah. Time to stay away from that. And what’s this BL story, you ask? Father and son BL???!!! HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MAH GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God. Every day we stray further and further from thou. I’m so glad I’m not into this gay yaoi thing. Time to appreciate hetero straight porn no matter how bad they are. There is still a whole lot of fun with 1 dick and 1 pussy compared to 2 dicks and no pussy at all.

Otona No Bouguya-san

February 15, 2019

You know there have been jokes and memes about female armours in video games. Yeah… With such skimpy and sexy ‘armour’ that exposes all the vitals and threatening not to protect them at all, you wonder why the heck females don them into battle. The higher the armour grade, the skimpier it gets! What kind of video game logic is that? Well, now you can blame a store that sells such armour to them! Folks, Otona No Bouguya-san doesn’t sell those typical armour that covers your entire body but questionable skimpy protective gear to any interested female adventurers who can afford to buy them. Uh huh. They’re not cheap either. Fashion, huh? Let’s see if those level 10 monsters care how you look in them when they decide to tear up your guts! Oh, don’t worry if the series is gory or violent. Just about a group of people working in that shop. That’s all.

Episode 1
Kautz is being attacked a group of slimes. Luckily for him, a mysterious beauty saves him. Noticing she dropped a bag of money, hence he decides to find and return it. This armour shop looks like the place and the moment he enters, he sees this ambiguous position of a man trying to insert something into a woman’s vagina! Of course as explained, Narden the owner of this store was trying to fit some armour on his clerk, Lilietta. But isn’t the armour a bit revealing? Heck, Kautz notices the entire place sells weird armour and a lot of them are revealing. Narden admits it is his dream to sale risqué equipment to female adventurers. Think that sounds pervy? Well, it’s not easy for female adventurers to wear good equipment. Yeah, that’s why men made them… Kautz returns the money and they’re happy since their finance is very tight. Kautz takes a look at their bookkeeping and is appalled at how flimsy it is. Before he knows it, he wants to work here and take care of the accounts.

Episode 2
It seems the financial ruin is because Narden sells his armours dirt cheap. Kautz suggests increasing the price but he insists on his dream to sell risqué equipment to women. Then one comes in seeking to increase agility. Yeah, put on this skimpy outfit. I mean, video game logic, right? Less cloths, the faster you go! Of course she rejects but he insists and uses his charm that it is cheap. She agrees but he offers and even skimpier one. Rejected! And since it is so cheap, the shop suffers more ‘damage’. This has Kautz berate him that because he sells them so cheap, it also reflects on the quality of the armour. Force selling cheap armours to customers, he is also insulting the armour. Narden lost his confidence. With Kautz eager to give this store a big makeover, Narden misinterprets he wants to sell more risqué armour and regains his confidence.

Episode 3
Lilietta tries out this very sexy armour. You wonder if this was made for the brothel. However, suddenly Kautz is so charmed he wants to be tortured by this sexy devil woman. Well, the only torture he’ll get is a chop from Narden on his ass. Ouch. Kautz snaps back but doesn’t have memories of being charmed. Though, his butt still hurts. Narden explains that those without mana could easily fall into the influence of many risqué armours that possess special magic. To stem this, he is given some embarrassingly cute items. But Kautz opts for a less cute one and the effects doesn’t last long since he got charmed again. Ass chopping time.

Episode 4
Lilietta finds Kautz’s little pet, Mokuku cute. She breaks open a nut for it with her bare hands! You thought the glove was the gloves that is giving her power but it actually restrains her true power! Kautz becomes disheartened when he learns Lilietta lives with Narden upstairs. But with Narden offering him to stay here, Kautz doesn’t hesitate to take this chance. Narden hopes he won’t hesitate if he ever needs to put on some risqué armour. Don’t think he’ll try that puny bikini armour ever. But with Lilietta treating him so nice, you wonder if Kautz will die from all her cordial acts first.

Episode 5
Kautz is so happy living under Lilietta’s care that he almost causes the end of this series! You know it’s over when the protagonist lives happily ever after, right? But it isn’t over yet because feast your eyes on some Lilietta fanservice as she takes a bath with Mokuku! Thanks a bunch! Narden pays Kautz although the latter refuses to accept. He is then lectured how money works. Payment for services. In that case, shouldn’t Narden accept full payment for his equipment instead of the excitement and arousal? But he assures he can still afford to pay him. Now that he has assistants, he can’t cut on food expenses. They hear a commotion but it is Lilietta collapsing from staying too long in the bath. But Kautz soon collapses from the ‘high quality fanservice’. He lost the most HP. Happy Points, that is. Must be so damn worth it.

Episode 6
As Kautz clean, suddenly a bloodied lady enters the shop! Kautz in shock but he soon learns that Flearika is a regular customer and the blood belonged to the monsters she slew. I think Kautz is starting to take some damage from seeing her busty boobs. She wants to buy new armour but Kautz just can’t recommend all the skimpy ones in the store. So when he thinks this see through armour is decent enough, she teases him he has this kind of fetish. Kautz takes more damage when she tries it out and wants his opinion. I guess that says everything. When Kautz wakes up and sees Flearika and Lilietta before him, he gets knocked out by their holy beauty. Back to slumber. This process repeats itself a few times! OMG! Will Kautz die of happiness at this rate?! Will he ever get out of this everlasting combo of happiness? I guess most guys would want to swap places with him and die happy.

Episode 7
20 years ago when Narden was learning magic, he was dubbed the Genius Wizard. Until one day this sexy lady, Rose Lohe could dispel any form of magic he threw at her just with her sexiness! Narden is interested to become her apprentice as Rose teaches him the way of the sexiness! He learns that she is looking for the best and legendary equipment called Genuine Armour. Everyone gets charmed by its beauty when you wear it. I don’t know, isn’t Rose sexy enough with this skimpy armour? Anyway, Narden decided to go look for that armour and hence he left the village and they parted ways. This led him to explore sexiness from different angle as he opened a shop. Now, he has finished what is supposed to be the prototype for the Genuine Armour. Kautz is touched with this story until Narden says it is all a lie with a straight face. WTF?!

Episode 8
Flearika seems to be hanging out at the store and giving excuses. So when Kautz asks why she isn’t doing this at home, she also hints that she needs some money. Cue for Narden to offer her to work here! And hence Kautz becomes her senior but from the sound of it, Flearika prefers to flirt and tease him. Suddenly 3 slimes enter the shop to attack. Narden throws Kautz a super risqué underwear for him to fight and of course Kautz will not put it on. Flearika has time to even tease how slimes are soft enough to feel like boobs. After Kautz takes some damage, Flearika destroys one of them. Lilietta just walked in and if you think she’s easy meat, you’re wrong. Because she crushes them with her bare hands! Because of that, those slimy substances all over the girls look like… Uhm… Well, let’s use our vivid imagination, shall we? Also, Kautz takes more HP damage and falls into that everlasting combo of happiness loop again. It’s a miracle he isn’t dead yet.

Episode 9
Sexy bath time with Lilietta and Flearika. We would love to see them praise each other’s body but all we are left for visual satisfaction is Mokuku cleaning itself! Curses! After bath, Narden gives Flearika her pay as gratitude. Because thanks to her, he has found something he has been looking for a long time. Kautz realizes there is a little girl in the shop. She claims she is the Demon Lord. Don’t believe her? ZAP! There goes your HP. She believes she has found Narden since he carelessly appeared in the front page of a magazine. She will have him return the Angelic Wings that he stole from her but he’ll protect it with his life.

Episode 10
So everybody is taking turns and asking how cute this little girl is? Because Lilietta baked some cookies, the Demon Lord now finds herself enjoying them with their company. Did you forget what you came here for? Asking Narden again about her wings, once more he rejects her. No can do. He cannot leave this place. She then starts sizing up everybody. Probably she got jealous with those huge ‘lumps’ over the women’s chest. And since Narden looked so different than the last time, she decides to turn this world into a demon world. Everywhere is dark now.

Episode 11
Demon Lord attacks Lilietta first. Something to do with having the biggest bust. Luckily Flearika saves her and Narden uses his skill to temporarily hide them from her. The only option is to return Angelic Wings but it seems Narden admits he has already used it up as components for some armour. Then he goes on talking about why he cannot leave his store as it is his duty to protect their home and memories. Enough motivation for them to rally and do as he says. As part of the plan, Narden confronts the Demon Lord to admit he used up Angelic Wings to created something but promises to give it to her. The catch is she has to wait until next year. Of course she can’t. Meanwhile the rest are creeping up behind her but Lilietta tripped and the Demon Lord spots them.

Episode 12
Narden says the only way to defeat her is to use the Genuine Armour he made using Angelic Wings. But it is at the basement of his shop. WTF logic that using its softness like boobs to obtain infinite hardness?! You mean hardness like a penis?! Haha! As they rush to the shop, Demon Lord defeats Flearika and now sets her sights on Lilietta. Kautz protects her and vows to be her armour. However Kautz is charmed since he is intolerant to mana. So he’s a masochist? Lilietta returns quickly in her armour. Yeah, you know why she managed to put it on so fast? Because there’s nothing much to put on in the first place! Demon Lord is sweating in her loli pants of the impregnable defence of this armour. She can penetrate it no matter what tricks she throws at her. It ends when Lilietta pats her head and she is reduced to a crying little kid. So all this is also because she wants to join in the fun? She also wants to wear cute clothes? And hence Narden gives her this school armour. Now she looks more like an elementary kid with protective gear. Should have given her this in the first place…

Naked Armour: Less Is (A)More
They say that as long as girls wishes to dress up cutely even when in the battlefield, such armour shops will continue to exist. But I am thinking more along the lines of because as long as there are horny otaku gamer guys out there who want to see girls in skimpy bikini armour that such shops will continue to exist! Wait till you girls get out there in the real battlefield and after seeing all the blood and gore, you might change your mind of wanting a full body armour. Yeah, just decorate it with some pastel and flowers will do to make it cute.

There isn’t anything much to the storyline. Seeing that each episode is only 3 over minutes and they try to cram in about 3 skits per episode, how much of a plot can you tell if you just focus the interactions of the characters inside a shop? In a way it makes me think that when we play all those RPG adventure games, some shops we go into and some shops we pass, it makes me wonder if those NPCs in those shops never leave or have their own life. Yup, Narden telling us why he cannot even step out of his shop for a second makes me think that their fate is truly similar like NPCs.

It would have been boring and utterly meaningless if every episode was to feature some sort of skimpy and sexy armour just to satisfy our horny lust so I guess we have this running joke of Kautz trying to help Narden out in keeping down his expenses. Money is like easy come and easy go for this dude. Conflicted with the dreams of making the best legendary armour, it seems that there are female customers who have no qualms in actually making such purchases. Not sure if they use it to fight monsters or just for some other private naughty reasons, mind you *wink, wink*. After all these years, it has been a miracle for Narden to survive with the expenses flowing freely and more often than the income. But thank goodness for Kautz’s arrival, right? Maybe it will take some time before it gets out of the red.

The only interesting story is Narden’s background with his master. I would love to see an expanded story about this but then again, the charm of this series is keeping it short so I wonder if it would lose its charm. Then they have this cute little Demon Lord loli popping up in the final arc for some dramatic effect but I expected as much of how it will turn out.

It is hard to feel the impact of the characters when the running time is so short. Kautz looks like the main character but he feels so normal and ordinary that he might as well be the nameless NPC. Thus I think it has become his running joke that when he is flanked by the beautiful ladies, the endless loop of losing his HP and passing out. Yeah, that’s what I feel Lilietta and Flearika are for too. Too bad their usual uniform isn’t some skimpy armour. Oh, Kautz would have died every day. Somehow this builds up in the end to his favour since this logic allows him to take in Demon Lord’s attacks. And do we even need this Mokuku as a cute animal mascot of the series? I guess so.

The art and animation are pretty standard and sometimes the scenes take this top-down look like those retro RPG games like The Legend Of Zelda. It’s a nice mix of pixelated and modern 2D animation. This series is animated by Imagica Lab and this is their debut works. Maybe that is why in the opening credits, you can hear the characters introducing a bunch of ‘perverts’ when their names pop up on screen. Heh. Are they?! Well, if they make this kind of anime…

For the voice acting, I’m surprised there are a few recognizable seiyuus lending their talents. Takahiro Sakurai as Naden, Nao Touyama as Lilietta and Mikako Komatsu as Flearika. Heck, even Mokuku with so limited appearance and no proper dialogue has her own seiyuu, Nichika Oomori (Yurine in Jashin-chan Dropkick). Easiest role ever, huh? The rest are Mark Ishii as Kautz, Chiaki Takahashi as Rose and Enako as Demon Lord. The opening and ending themes are short instrumentals. They’re both nice jingles to hear with the opener having this retro midi feel while the ending feels more like a cute sleepy lullaby.

This anime seems to be making fun of this particular joke but I guess it is still enjoyable thanks to its very short duration. Then you forget about it when the next season rolls in and you go back to your RPG grinding. Though, this isn’t the first anime to tackle this issue as I remember a few years ago, Bikini Warriors also had this theme. Although that series was focused on the female adventurers and hence had more fanservice appeal. As long as the player base have enough males, looks like this sort of armour for RPGs will continue. And hence the eternal debate if such skimpy armour is just a tougher version of bikinis. So ladies, don’t regret your decision if you ever decide to buy such armour. Because you can still be stark naked while fighting the enemies. Just don’t get hit! So if the logic of the skimpier the armour, the less accurate the enemies can hit you, one would wonder if you are completely naked. 100% ‘armoured’! If Narden ever sells this ultimate ‘invisible armour’, you’ve probably been scammed.

Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san

December 8, 2018

A normal human boy with some sort of supernatural powers arrive to live in a haunted dorm filled with a variety of supernatural creatures. Hmm… Where did I hear this before? Oh well, if not for the obviously eye-catching and fanservice laden nature of the series, I would have skipped Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san. Having the supernatural theme isn’t my cup of tea any time of the day but that is not the case when they put in sleazy and cheap fanservice shots so that gullible target audiences like yours truly could brush aside the supernatural stuffs and watch with that perverted smiling face with all the boobs shots and crotch shots this series has to offer. Ah, nothing is scarier than a perverted otaku being perverted. Oh sh*t, I might give others a wrong impression of me… Need to quickly restore my reputation and- Oh look! Sexy pantsu shot in full view now!

OVA 1
As narrated, Yuragi-sou was once a hotspring inn but now serves as a boarding house for the supernatural. This OVA also serves as a ‘great’ introductory episode as we are introduced to the great bare tits and crotch shots of Yuuna Yunohana sleeping with lucky dude, Kogarashi Fuyuzora. However ghost girl gets embarrassed upon realizing this and her poltergeist powers go berserk, hence your excuse for Kogarashi to be beaten up or thrown out of the room. We are introduced to other characters like the caretaker of this inn, Chitose Nakai. Your typical slutty drunkard in the morning, Nonko Arahabaki. Your typical strict man hater girl, Sagiri Ameno. Your typical cat girl, Yaya Fushiguro. Sighs, I wonder if this is going to be a thing of this series. It isn’t Kogarashi’s fault he gets into some fanservice situation so he gets owned by them. Except for Yaya. Sleeping nicely on the roof, Yuuna slips but as Kogarashi tries to save her, she realizes as a ghost she could float so he only falls off himself. Still, Kogarashi gets the pain. Later Yaya’s cat has Kogarashi follow it to a sakura tree in full bloom. This is part of the girls’ preparation to welcome him to the inn. I guess this is their way of seeking forgiveness from all the beating up despite being a newbie. Yeah, here’s to more future beat downs! One day as Kogarashi cleans the bath, tanuki girl Koyuzu Shigaraki is still sleepy. Accidentally she uses her powers to turn him into a body soap. As Nakai puts her back to bed, Yuuna takes this chance to bath. Guess what? Kogarashi isn’t just the bottle but the foam bubbles as well! Yup, he could feel himself all over Yuuna’s body! Then the other girls stream in and start doing the same. Absolute heaven! If you’re dirtier than usual, you’ll see those white foams slipping around as semen… HOLY SH*T!!!! So when the girls are done, they soak in the hotspring as they talk how much ‘likeable’ Kogarashi is. But it is hell now for Kogarashi as he could also feel the devastation of himself flowing away into the drain. He fears he might disappear if he is all used up. But no worries. Koyuzu thinks she has used her power and cancels them just in case. Kogarashi is happy he has turned back and didn’t realize he is in front of the naked girls. Time for divine punishment. It’s so noisy that Koyuzu is complaining she can’t sleep. I wonder whose fault it is…

Episode 1
Kogarashi arrives at Yukemuri, eager to start his new life. As a medium with psychic powers, he saves an old couple from a mischievous ghost. Apparently he is staying at Yuragi-sou despite knowing it is haunted because the rent is dirt cheap. As he enjoys the hotspring, he is confronted with Yuuna. He didn’t expect her to be a busty sexy ghost. But Yuuna is shocked she could see him (double meaning here) and throws all the buckets till he passes out. He wakes up on the lap of Nakai as he is introduced to the other girls. When they learn the room he is living in, they wish him good luck. In his room, Yuuna’s butt is sticking out of the wall?! If she’s hiding, she’s bad at it. She asks him to describe and is somewhat glad. Because others only see her as a white spectre. As a ghost bound to this room, Kogarashi is in a dilemma whether to exorcise her. He has this policy of not punching girls and the only exorcism he knows is punching the hell out of the ghost. Yeah… Oh, since she is bound to this room, looks like he has to sleep with her. Conveniently she can touch things that she wants to. Later that night she asks him of his reasons coming here. Since young, he was susceptible of getting possessed by spirits. Until one day some spirit possessed him to do insider trading, causing massive financial losses, debts and homelessness for him. His idea of defeating evil spirits is to get back his old life. But Yuuna is glad he came here because he isn’t afraid of her and is able to talk to him normally. As he tries to ask about her lingering regrets because at this rate she might go to hell, a mouse sneaks in causing Yuuna to go berserk. Ah, Kogarashi gets his first taste of being thrown out. Next day when he is out, this Gouma monk of the Gudon Clan, Tsujishouten Sekkan sneaks in and tries to forcefully exorcise her. Is this his mission or does he have a personal grudge against lingering spirits? But Yuuna doesn’t want to go the heaven yet as she has just made a friend. Yeah, she must say Kogarashi’s name because luckily he came back and heard it all. Kogarashi frees her and punches the monk out. Thankfully he is physically weak. Kogarashi vows to help her resolve her regrets, moving her to tears. Because he accidentally touch her boobs, she sends him flying again. He lands in the hotspring where all the other girls are conveniently bathing. It doesn’t help when Yuuna explains that he touched her boobs. Having second thoughts about exorcising her?

Episode 2
Kogarashi wakes up flying in the sky! Damn Yuuna’s power. It’s a long fall! During breakfast, Nonko tries to flirt with him and this gives excuse for Sagiri to threaten him of his lewdness despite it isn’t his fault. Sekken returns with his clansmen to exterminate all of them. Because his members too can’t harm women, he tells them to capture them and use them for their whatever training. Pervy monks… We see the girls in action as well as their true form. Like Sagiri who is a demon slaying ninja, Nonko an ogre whose strength increases the more she drinks, Yaya summoning her giant cat god to ‘play’ with the monks and finally Nakai is a zarashiki warashi who manipulates luck. With all the monks having their issues resolved, they have no more reason to exorcise and return home. Kogarashi wants some of this luck too but is warned that this ability has one using up their entire lifetime’s luck. So hopefully those monks don’t run out of them in one shot. Now Kogarashi has to bear in mind not to cross these girls’ path or he’ll end up in heaven first before Yuuna. Next day, good news Kogarashi isn’t sleeping in the sky. Too bad Yuuna’s ass is in his face! Oh the usual again. Later he picks up a cat in the inn but to his surprise it is Yaya. Another excuse for Sagiri to kill him with Yaya putting it ambiguously that he was groping all over her body. And so Sagiri and Yaya sign a petition to evict him. Nakai suggests resolving this via their house rules. They have to battle each other out and the loser must listen to the winner’s wish. That battle is ping pong! Kogarashi is skilful thanks to being possessed by a ping pong coach ghost while Sagiri can clone herself. It’s a tough match and a close one. So at match point, desperate Yuuna shows Kogarashi her undies so that her power could go berserk, float everything and technically make the opponents’ ball out. Yeah, everything gets thrown everywhere afterwards. Since it is Kogarashi’s win, the duo promise never to evict him but warn if he ever harms them, getting evicted would be the least of his worries. He vows he won’t but slips and has his hands somehow on their boobs. Kogarashi is a sturdy guy, right?

Episode 3
Yuuna wakes up panicking because Kogarashi isn’t around. Don’t worry. Today is his first day of high school. So she goes to his school and not surprisingly nobody else but him could see her. I guess it’s better than seeing a floating white spectre. In class he makes friends with Satoshi Hyodo. Lucky for them, perhaps the cutest girl in town, Chisaki Miyazaki is also in the same class. Curious Yuuna flips up her skirt. WTF everybody blames Kogarashi even though he is clearly not in that position to do so! Yuuna tries to think and materialize the school uniform but ends up naked. This has her power going berserk and float everything in class for a while. So during class introduction, Kogarashi explains himself as a medium as to apologize for that incident. As expected, everyone laughs (except Chisaki) thinking it’s an excuse to cover up his perversion. Later Chisaki talks to him. It looks like a confession scene but it turns out she has been experiencing supernatural phenomena in her home like her stuffed dolls floating around. He agrees to help her. In her room, Kogarashi starts punching the dolls! Of course this looks no more than violence to Chisaki so she punches him. As Kogarashi didn’t feel anything from the dolls, he believes the culprit must be controlling them from somewhere. A doll frightened Yuuna and causes her power to go berserk. This means having Kogarashi ending up on top of Chisaki like as though he is raping her. Not surprisingly, she kicks him out and thinks he is a bogus. That night, the dolls rip off Chisaki’s clothes like as though they gonna rape her???!!! Lucky Kogarashi is here to save the day. He has been waiting for this moment. With Yuuna sniffing out the spirit line, they confront the culprit at the park who then unleashes a giant monster. However Kogarashi punches it out! The culprit shivers in fear and begs for mercy as she turns into her true form: Koyuzu?! As explained, coming from the tanuki tribe, their goal is to assimilate into human society. She failed and has been living an abandoned temple until she saw Chisaki. It seems she has what Koyuzu lacks: Boobs! I guess everybody else in town must be flat, huh? She thinks boobs maketh a woman and hence success. She thought she was done for when a medium showed up and wanted to see Chisaki’s boobs for one last time. I guess Koyuzu is a girl so Chisaki allows her. Itadakimasu! She’s admiring it so much that Kogarashi had some too. Yeah, blame him… Eventually Koyuzu is taken to live in Yuragi-sou. Yup, she is now excited with all the big boobs that she can play with all the time. As thanks for his troubles, Chisaki bakes him cookies.

Episode 4
Sagiri is part of the Chuuma Ninja Army who exorcise bad ghosts at night. She is also in the same school as Kogarashi and after hearing his ‘heroics’ from Yuuna, she has no choice but to ask for his help for this next mission. There is a spirit that is terrorizing couples at a park at night. Yeah, a mysterious fog will dissolve their clothes. Hence they are going in as a couple to lure it out. Yeah, I can foresee some naked hijinks later… Kogarashi jokes she isn’t feminine enough, that’s why the fog isn’t coming out. Surprisingly she admits it due to her upbringing. So any suggestions? Holding hands. Hey, you asked. Just about then the fog envelopes them. So that was enough to determine them as a couple? Kogarashi’s punch blows away the fog, allowing Sagiri to slay the spider spirit. Of course at this point they’re naked and close to each other. You know what will follow next… It’s a shame their clothes are in tatters but Kogarashi compliments she looked cute in them. Tsundere… But that didn’t stop her from trying one in her room and feeling the dilemma of wearing them. Kogarashi learns a cat god possesses a host in exchange for powers. But this one doesn’t seem to possess Yaya fully. But they love each other. With Nakai away for an association meeting for a few days, looks like the gang are starting to really miss and appreciate her cooking. So you’ve got cat food, snacks and even poison foods for their meals. It’s amazing they are still alive. Finally Kogarashi cooks some grilled fish (thanks to some chef possessing him gave him that experience) and they rejoice having taste a good meal in days. Because of that, Yaya now follows him everywhere. Everywhere. Sleeping and bathing! If she had only said she wanted to eat the grilled fish again, it would have been so much easier. Thus Kogarashi cooks a bunch of them this time. But it’s not only for Yaya herself as she also feeds her cat god. Purr of approval. So once in a while when he sees Yaya following him around, you know it’s that time again.

Episode 5
Chisaki is curious about communicating with Yuuna. Don’t worry about Kogarashi having to be their translator every time. Yuuna can write to her! Remember, she can touch things she wants to. Yeah, they really got lots of things to talk about, erm, I mean write about. Chisaki flusters upon learning the duo live in the same room. As she can’t concentrate in class, she gets detention after school. With Yuuna asking permission to feel her uniform so she can imagine and materialize it, Chisaki allows Yuuna to strip her. Fanservice cue. I guess Chisaki must be thrilled about being stripped and felt without being able to see, eh? Just like being blindfolded, huh? Once done, the cliché moment of Kogarashi to come in. He startles the girls and they end up in an ambiguous lesbian position. You know what’s coming next for him… Yuuna is able to make the uniform. When Chisaki tries to take a picture, of course she looks like a typical scary poltergeist. I don’t think editing a little makes her look cute… Nonko is also a mangaka and her editor, Rui Harashima is here and it could only mean that her deadline is tomorrow morning. Hence Kogarashi is roped in to help since Nonko’s assistant is recovering from an accident. Don’t worry, Kogarashi has experience as he was possessed by a mangaka ghost before. As they start work, Nonko complains about the cliché manga that she is the creator of! For photo reference, Nonko cosplays and also does the same to Kogarashi and has Rui snap away. It’s all part of the job so I guess Kogarashi obeys to whatever Nonko tells him. Even if she makes it look like a rape scene. They would have done more had they not realize it is already midnight. Time to work on the manuscript. As it is progressing well, Kogarashi learns Nonko was once a demon slayer. One day she messed up on her mission and almost died. That was when she thought if she has lived her life to the fullest. Hence why she drinks and have fun, etc. She thinks in the end maybe she’s just running away. They finally finish early morning and Nonko who has not touch alcohol since working immediately starts drinking. She also starts stripping and flirting with Kogarashi and wants everyone else to join in. I guess she deserves letting her hair loose. But this wild?

Episode 6
There is a secret Nakai wants to keep from the rest. It seems she goes to school! Kogarashi almost finds out so she has to manipulate some of her luck to whisk him away. Because of using good luck, bad luck will follow for a while. Vice versa. Nakai revels the normal school life and talking to her friends. I guess this must be the first time she is doing it because people would find it strange if she never progressed a grade. When she is eating with her friends, a couple of punks try to hit on them. Lolicons! They get rough when the girls reject them so Nakai uses her luck manipulation. Oh look. It’s Kogarashi here to teach them a lesson! Thankfully he didn’t see her face and goes off. Nakai returns to Yuragi-sou, blessed that there is no better luck than meeting somebody special. Uhm, did nobody realize Nakai was missing from the inn? Especially those who stay indoors there all the time like Nonko? Yeah, probably drunk at this hour. Nakai gives Kogarashi and Yuuna a ticket to a nearby amusement park, Yunowal. They realize too late it’s like a setup for a date but Kogarashi believes this could help find Yuuna’s lingering regret. The problem is, the ticket is for couples. The receptionist cannot see Yuuna. It is amazing how Kogarashi managed to convince them to let ‘them’ in. Didn’t want to make a scene, huh? Hey, I have an invisible girlfriend, can I come in too?! But when they try to do stuffs, they are mostly reserved for couples. Thankfully they are rejected. Many think Kogarashi is just a desperate loner. I guess they can’t do couple stuffs. Yuuna tries the water slide. The oddest part is how her top breaks off! I thought she materializes her bikini so why the f*ck did it break?! I know it’s to give us fanservice of her riding on Kogarashi topless but even if you say Kogarashi bought that bikini for her, wouldn’t it be freaky when other people see a floating bikini around???!!! DOESN’T MAKE SENSE THIS PART!!! Anyway Kogarashi passes out and wakes up in the resting room in Yunowal. They head to hotspring. I guess the only place not on couple promotion. Yuuna is thankful for him helping out and feels she can rest in peace. Kogarashi’s starts thinking about Yuuna ascending to heaven but can’t help feel sad about it.

Episode 7
Genshiro Ryuuga is indiscriminately trying to take women as his bride? If not for his retainer, Oboro, he might have taken the entire town. It seems they aren’t just finding him any woman but one that possesses strong spiritual powers. Oh no. I think I know who fits the bill. Speaking of which, Yuuna and Koyuzu are passing by and he is taken in by her power and doesn’t mind even if she is a ghost. Thanks to that, he grabs her and wants to hurry back to his castle to prepare for their wedding. Yuuna protests and Koyuzu adds fuel to the flame about a certain guy who ‘defiles’ her every night. Not accurate but can’t say she’s wrong either. Yuuna reluctantly agrees to go with him otherwise Oboro might have disposed of Koyuzu who tried to stop them. Thank goodness for Kogarashi and Sagiri passing by as Koyuzu tells them what happened. No need to hesitate. They’re going to save her. Yeah, screw whatever protocols. Even if Genshiro is a Black Dragon God who resides at Shinano Lake. Human or god, whoever messes with this harem is going to get it from Kogarashi. Right? So we see Genshiro putting various cosplay outfits on Yuuna. So this is his fetish? So human-like perversion… Hmm… For a bounded ghost, she is sure taken very far away. Unless Shinano is just next door… With Yuuna still opposing the wedding, Oboro thinks it is because she has a special relationship with Kogarashi. Yuuna denies and elaborates the trouble she brings to him. Thus Oboro reasons this is the more a reason for her to marry Genshiro and for Kogarashi’s sake too. That’s starting to sound logical… Our saviours have arrived. Inside the cave, Sagiri transforms into her skin tight ninja outfit. Like as though she come from some futuristic sci-fi? Cue for a little fanservice because the duo have to hide and a cramped space when guards are passing. Eventually Sagiri will sneak in to find Yuuna while Kogarashi distract Genshiro. Too bad he took the direct approach as he calls him all names at his front door just to be captured. Before Genshiro, Kogarashi isn’t scared to tell him he wants Yuuna back.

Episode 8
Genshiro claims the form is not important as there are legends of gods and ghosts bonding. Because he is troubled of whatever ecchi things they did, Kogarashi uses this to troll him so as to buy Sagiri time. Although Sagiri finds Yuuna, because she took too long talking to her, Oboro attacks her. Koyuzu is forced to escape by herself when Oboro also targets her. Eventually Sagiri loses and is presented to Genshiro as his concubine due to her spiritual powers. Hmm… Sexy ninja girl. He approves! Yuuna pleads with Genshiro that she will marry him so her friends can go home. Like hell Kogarashi is going to accept that while tears are streaming down her face. Hence he angers Genshiro by saying he takes baths with Yuuna. So mad that dragon guy, he kicks Kogarashi away. Could have flown to the moon if not for the cave ceiling. Could have died but he didn’t. He then gives Genshiro his ultimate Falcon Punch that could really send him flying to the moon! Apparently he was possessed by a ghost strong like One Punch Man. He just can’t hit women. Oboro fights Kogarashi as she remembers the task she was given to take care of Genshiro and make the clan great again. Kogarashi can’t fight against her upon realizing she is a woman. So it’s all in the mind? This allows Oboro to slash him like hell (although there seems to be no effect). But her slashing is stopped by the bare hands of Nonko. Koyuzu brought them when they arrived at the cave entrance after Sagiri left them a message. Only Nakai didn’t come as her luck manipulation might bring great disaster around the area. Kogarashi tells Oboro there are other ways to make the clan stronger. Oboro agrees but would Genshiro? Kogarashi has a plan. When Genshiro wakes up, Oboro tells him his kick vaporized him. So powerful that it messed with his memories of being punched away. She shows Yuuna and Sagiri ascending to heaven because they are satisfied with his love. Sagiri a ghost girl? Anyway this is the illusion done by Koyuzu’s magic. Oh, Genshiro believes it! Now our Yuragi-sou tenants can go home happy. Next morning, Kogarashi wakes up with his hands over someone’s boobs. Too small to be Yuuna’s. It’s Oboro! She’s not here to kidnap Yuuna. In her bid to make the clan strong, she will have a child with Kogarashi. So she’s officially part of his harem, right?

Episode 9
Chisaki is invited to visit Yuragi-sou and has heard lots of haunted stuffs. The moment she opens the door, she sees Oboro tying to rape Kogarashi. Luckily it is explained as the other girls welcome her. Sagiri feels she lost feminine points to Chisaki and tries to match her girly outfit? With the visit now turning into a sleepover, Chisaki helps make dinner and then go soak with everyone in the hotspring. She learns why Oboro’s assault on Kogarashi so she virtual signals. Technically, what Chisaki said is also true. During bedtime, Yuuna lets Chisaki feel all over her body. Koyuzu wants to talk about love but since Chisaki doesn’t have one (really?), Koyuzu wants to know how to seduce men. Her abilities are still unpolished. So under the pretence of wanting to study, the duo agree to help her out. This means wearing sexy outfits and in ambiguous positions? I want to learn too. Deep into the night as they sleep, Chisaki feels Yuuna sleeping all over her (in an indecent manner to boot). This has her think of all the immoral stuffs Yuuna and Kogarashi might do together. Speaking of him, he is back early. So tired he just falls asleep. Chisaki is now too conscious as she is sandwiched between them and Kogarashi’s sleeping face too close to hers. She tries to get out but Yuuna clings onto her. Is Yuuna molesting Chisaki in her sleep thinking this is Kogarashi?! WTF. This causes Chisaki’s boobs to fall onto Kogarashi’s sleeping face. As she tries to get out, he thinks it is Yuuna and accidentally grabs her panties. Now her butt is exposed. Sleepy Koyuzu thinks this is a dream and fondles her boobs, causing her to slip and her butt sitting on Kogarashi’s face. This wakes him up and surprised to see Chisaki here. Chisaki can’t move and pretends to sleep. Fearing the worse that Kogarashi might make a move on her, but Kogarashi covers the blanket over her. This is when Oboro comes in to have sex with him but he declines. Not because she has no boobs, tomboyish or not human. He will only do so with the person he loves. Oboro accepts and leaves. Until he loves her. Well, taking a look at the pecking order, that might that a while… Next day as Chisaki leaves, she leaves a note for Yuuna that leaves her quite embarrassed. It is to refrain from clinging to people when she is asleep and naked otherwise someday this might turn on Kogarashi.

Episode 10
Looks like beach season is here. Hence Sagiri’s friend and fellow Chuuma member, Urara Urakata suggests they go buy swimsuits. Sagiri is reluctant at first and is satisfied with her boring school swimsuit but after Urara provokes the possibility of her being shunned, she relents. Oh, she has to bring Kogarashi too because they need a boy’s opinion. After all the embarrassment, Sagiri manages to ask Kogarashi but lies about a monster at the swimsuit shop. Because Sagiri’s fashion sense sucks, Urara becomes aggressive into trying out various sexy and risqué swimsuits on her. When Sagiri has given up and would rather wear her school swimsuit, this initiates Urara’s jealousy as she starts to molest those sweet boobs and rant about wanting to have them herself. The struggle ends up with them in a compromising lesbian position. As expected, Kogarashi goes to see what is happening and gets a load view of fanservice. You know what happens next, right? I guess there is your monster. In the end, she ends up buying a decent one (because Kogarashi said it looks good on her). On the bus trip, Chisaki introduces Yuuna to her friend, Seri Yanazawa (she can’t see Yuuna of course). But other students don’t believe in ghost despite obvious floating things before them and think it is just Kogarashi’s tricks. At the beach, Chisaki garners more attention than Sagiri. Must be that floral swimsuit. You regretting now? While playing in the sea, how convenient of Urara to mention about some monster that steals swimsuits. Because here comes the tentacle rape! Yeah, rip those swimsuits too! Noticing the tentacles can regenerate, they have to destroy the core of the monster which is 300m deep. Don’t worry. Kogarashi can get the job done and save the day. But even with this, other students still refuse to believe there are ghosts. Hence Chisaki rallies her friends to help make them believe that Kogarashi is a spirit medium via kimodameshi tonight. It looks perfect on paper but in reality… Worse, Chisaki is paired with Kogarashi and this will make the attempt less credible. During their turn, Chisaki trips so Kogarashi takes a look at her feet (feet fetish moment?) and caries her but Yuuna panics because she was so scared of waiting alone despite being a ghost. WTF. As they rest, Chisaki fears the plan will fail. Don’t worry. A real monster pops up to cause havoc.

Episode 11
A couple of guys kicked a loose slab and it awakened a monster from his slumber?! Why the f*ck is the stone loose?! It’s amazing he was never awakened before. Kogarashi to the rescue as he allows him to bite his arm. Yeah, his teeth break! Kogarashi uses some diplomacy to apologize. The monster senses he is stronger than the one who sealed him. So rather than bother fighting him, he sealed himself back. Like, WTF?! But at least people’s perception of Kogarashi has improved. That night, I suppose Kogarashi is such a wanted guy that he gets a free pass to join in the girls’ room. Until the patrolling teacher comes back so they all have to hide. I can see where this is going. Yuuna, Sagiri and Chisaki are sandwiching him. Obviously. Why the f*ck does Yuuna need to hide? Is she not invisible? The most she would just scare the teacher. When Yuuna cannot take this close proximity and tries to leave, Kogarashi holds and squeezes her. The teacher gets curious but Yuuna blows up. In this short burst, Kogarashi dashes out the window and everyone pretends it is a surprise. I think the teacher is too shocked to think. Next night, Kogarashi grants Yuuna’s wish to dance with him at the bonfire dance. The thing is, Kogarashi is seen like dancing by himself! Did anyone not notice this?! I guess the couples are too focused on their partners and the loser guys are too depressed to notice anything. Back home, Kogarashi, Sagiri and Yaya are studying for their tests. Oboro comes in to press her boobs on him. Hard to concentrate, right? It gets harder with Nonko in her slutty swimsuit eating ice cream in an arousing manner. Oboro seeks Koyuzu’s help for a love potion so she laces it on the shaved ice that she will serve to them. The effected person will fall in love right away at first glance. Thanks to Nonko’s interference, the shaved ice bowls are mixed up. Oboro serves them. Nothing happens. But after a while, Sagiri starts to act strange. When Kogarashi asks her questions and gets too close, she becomes too conscious. She remembers Urara’s teasing that she has a crush on Kogarashi and this embarrassment only amplifies the effect. A fluctuation of emotions, Sagiri thinks she can be feminine enough for him. By showing her boobs! She wants his opinion on her and since he finds her cute, happy Sagiri lets her sleep in them. Then the effects wear off. Man, Yaya must be so focused she didn’t even notice this and finished her study. Meanwhile embarrassed Sagiri locks herself up in her room. Now you realize you’re an amateur in love? Oboro notes what Koyuzu said about the effect. Not only it lasts for a short while, it won’t work if you don’t have any affections for that person at all. So I guess this confirms it.

Episode 12
The usual morning routine. Yuuna gets her boobs fondled by sleeping Kogarashi. Blast away! Good morning. With Sagiri, Nakai, Koyuzu and Yaya returning to their hometown, the rest stay behind to look after Yuragi-sou. Since Nonko is in a pinch over her manga deadline again, she has the rest to help. As reward, she brings them to Okinawa beach. Daring and bold swimsuits and the sun lotion rubbing fiasco. Nonko adlibs sexy moans when Kogarashi is putting on Yuuna, causing him to slip and touch unwanted places. There he goes again into the sky! However he notices a ghost girl at a cape. Later there is a legend of a tragic love story of a couple supposed to meet here but they never. He died in an accident as she continues to wait for him. Kogarashi and Yuuna go see that ghost girl, Ami. She confirms the story but her lover, Yasuhisa is just around the corner! As she is a ghost bound to this place, she cannot move. As they talk to Yasuhisa, it seems he is afraid of seeing her as he fears her getting mad! He adds to the story, he was about to elope with her but his bike crashed on this corner. Ami saw and dived in to save him but both drowned. To solve their problem, Kogarashi says Ami will turn into an evil spirit if she does not ascend. Hence he will force her to ascend. Yasuhisa panics and feels afraid. But after thoughts with Ami flash through his mind, he finally takes his first step. I guess he saw this coming because Ami beats the sh*t out of him! But once that is over and the (dead) lovers reunite, they ascend. Happy ending. With this, Kogarashi now wants to hear Yuuna’s past life so as to help her find peace. As many spirits that possessed him, all are eager to talk about their life. He never heard about Yuuna’s. Simple. That’s because she can’t remember! All she remembers is she woke up in Yuragi-sou. She finds it strange that with all those around her, she feels very happy now. So why can’t she ascend? I can think of one reason… That night, Kogarashi dreams of trying to save Yuuna from being forcefully exorcised. In reality, he touch her boobs. It’s that cue again. But this time Yuuna goes after to grab him. A sign that he’ll always reach out to her? She also finds it strange despite this morning ruckus, it makes her happy. Sadist. And so he vows to stay by her side until she finds peace. And the usual morning too with Yuuna blasting him into the bath where the rest of the ladies are bathing. Despite getting beaten up, he too says such mornings aren’t bad. Why not? Getting beaten up by sexy girls every morning certainly beats getting roughed up by macho men!

OVA 2
Sagiri confronts Oboro and will not accept her living as Yuragi-sou because of her constant harassing of Kogarashi. But Oboro’s goal is to make him fall in love with her so she asks if Sagiri has experience with men. Not too good memories… Oboro then quotes that since Sagiri is beautiful, she thought she would have been more popular with guys. And that is the magic word for Sagiri to accept Oboro! Oboro then asks Yaya for a way to a man’s heart. You can guess her answer: Food. Hence she tries her hand cooking and also asks Nakai. Technically she isn’t lying because long ago, a boy once made a kiddie promise to marry her. Too bad Oboro screws up and wrecks the kitchen. And since she is repairing it, Kogarashi is spared from her harassment. Then she returns to Genshiro but since he is in training, she asks his guards. Their answer is to be strong. Next she asks Nonko but first, she becomes her cosplay slave. And when Oboro pops the question, Nonko goes into this drunkard rant how men only look at her boobs. Looks like she said the wrong word. But Koyuzu dismisses boobs are bad and can be instead be used as a weapon. Oboro wonders how to make hers big so Koyuzu guides her on how to massage them. Yeah… So I guess finally it’s Yuuna’s turn since Oboro believes all that advice failed and in the end she didn’t learn anything. Yuuna thinks it is to spend time with that person and before you know it, it’ll happen. Oboro must have taken her advice literally because now she replaces Yuuna as Kogarashi’s wakeup harasser. So early, so flirty. They’re not making babies, so what’s the issue? Oh Yuuna, I know this is not what you meant but it still proves you want to monopolize Kogarashi, right?

Chisaki wakes up feeling some sort of pain in her boobs. Oh, it’s Koyuzu sleeping and molesting them. For the summer break, Koyuzu is here to stay with her family. We are introduced to Chisaki’s mom, Hiyori who loves everything cute so you can bet she loves Koyuzu a lot and wants to smother her with her boobs too. I mean, Koyuzu should ‘love her more’ since her boobs are bigger. As they go shopping together, I suppose we need to have the obligatory fanservice of shopping for lingerie. Koyuzu peeks into Chisaki changing and feels it is a shame to hide her big boobs although it needs support. Her solution? Use panties as her bra! Mother approves! So do we! In the bath, Koyuzu explains to Hiyori about Kogarashi. Like a gangster? Despite mom warning all men are wolves, Koyuzu knows Kogarashi is the kind type. Boobs heaven for tanuki loli as she gets to be smothered by mother and daughter’s boobs in the bath. She even gets the sleep with them and the moment she falls asleep, she starts fondling Chisaki’s jugs. If Chisaki won’t let them, maybe Hiyori will. Yeah, damn we wish we were Koyuzu! Next day, Hiyori suggests Koyuzu live with them and they can help her integrate with human society. Koyuzu once despised her tanuki ears and tail but realizes they are not that bad. Because acknowledging them allows her to visit her friends again. She fears she will get used to them and hence the reason why she cannot live with them. Time for some tanuki loli tears and big group hug before Koyuzu returns to Yuragi-sou.

OVA 3
Kogarashi is working part time to help out at a local festival that pays tribute to cat gods. Though, nobody can see those cat deities flying around but Kogarashi. Yaya is also here participating and invites him to the shrine. Kogarashi arrives at the shrine to see lots of cat gods chilling out. So the reason she calls him here is to cook grilled fish for everybody? Yeah, nobody makes it as good as him. Then it is Yaya’s turn to put some strange cat dance performance. However the mischievous cat god, Aramaki crashes the party. But every year he always lost to Yaya. What makes him think it is different this year? The reason why he isn’t hypnotized by Yaya’s charms is because he is wearing sunglasses! So he is attacking her only based on smell. Yeah, rip her clothes to shreds! But it won’t be long before Kogarashi flicks off his sunglasses and now that he sees Yaya’s performance, once more he loses. Grateful Yaya goes to hug Kogarashi but it is more of a playful hug. Aramaki takes his leave but Yaya invites him to play again next year. Although he blushes, he dismisses her. I think I know why he keeps coming back…

Kogarashi has been out doing some odd job for half a month. Yeah, Yuragi-sou without a man is like nothing, right? Because of that, Oboro can’t pay him nightly visits and seduce him. Because Koyuzu believes Chisaki is popular with men (she saw many of them talking to her easily), hence Oboro wants to learn from her ‘master’ to be popular. No choice, Chisaki starts by teaching them how to dress nicely. Too bad it is hijacked by Nonko as she makes them wear sexy idol clothes as she snaps away for her reference. With Oboro thinking idols are popular, they start thinking what would it be like if Kogarashi is a fan of idols. Then they want Chisaki to explain the possibility if she becomes Kogarashi’s boyfriend. She explains all the lovely and normal things they would do. Very different from Oboro’s mentality of sex and having lots of babies! Oboro further suggests because Japan lacks a concubine system, she believes Yuuna should be Kogarashi’s official wife as she is always sleeping with him. Since Yuuna denies, it is all back to square one as they wonder what kind of girls he likes. Weird deductions lead to another. Because they think he might be an idol lover as his part time job is following idols’ concert on a nationwide tour. Yeah, this might explain why he isn’t interested with the girls around him. Twisted logic. When Kogarashi finally returns from his job, he sees the girls practising to become idols. While Chisaki and Yuuna are embarrassed to let him see their skimpy idol outfit, Oboro and Koyuzu are more than ready to expose further. Kogarashi’s best answer: Walk away and pretend not to see anything! It’s been a long day and job so please don’t add to his misery.

 

Youkai Apartment No Yuragi Na Nichijou
Oh well. I guess Yuuna being amnesiac is to set up and give future plot convenience whenever it calls for it. Because if it is revealed now about her past, I’m sure it will take out all the fun. That is why everybody can enjoy the same sadistic scene of Yuuna blasting Kogarashi into the sky like Team Rocket every freaking single damn morning. Now imagine if we all know her past, can everybody keep doing this same ‘happy’ thing over and over again? Yup. That will be when the series will change its tempo. But that is for another day in the future. When Yuuna is ready to move on for real.

Sometimes I feel the urge to compare this series to another similar ecchi series, High School DxD. The main protagonist is generally similar (a single punch that effectively takes out the opponent) and he has a harem of supernatural babes. A handful of human ones too. But instead of an occult club, we have a dorm and our main guy doesn’t aim to become a harem king but work hard enough to clear his debts.

There are a few things that don’t really make sense or add up but since this show relies heavily on fanservice, all those plot conveniences seem to lead to this juicy ecchi fix and since we got our boob shots and crotch shots, I guess we won’t be thinking further how all of those are related. Like that loose stone in the forest with a powerfully sealed demon. How the f*ck could that even happen? Did the seal finally wear out? A special note was noted about the woman who sealed the monster inside but nothing else further. Then there was that sea monster demon in the sea so it could lead to the obligatory tentacle rape fanservice. How did that come about? So if you love all the tits and pantsu that the TV series has to offer, I am very sure the BD versions will be in glorious uncensored HD. Yup, those damn white lights suddenly appearing at strategic places that we want to focus our eyes on.

Apparently I heard some complaining of the lewdness in this series that got a bit too hot. Like Nonko eating that sticky melting ice cream. I doubt she is the first to do so because there are other anime series out there who have done much worse. Remember that suggestively lewd scene in To Love-Ru Darkness where Momo was being forced to lick and suck on the popsicle while on her knees? Yeah… And if you were bold enough to watch that ‘not porn’ series, Koe De Oshigoto, try acting out a voice acting scene of needing to suck one’s dick! I guess with so many lewdness going around, those getting so woke these days won’t remember just a few seasons ago we had this sort of indecency that was shown over the airwaves. People, can we just let a girl lick an ice cream the way she wants it???!!!

For the characters, I’ve seen too many of such animes in this genre to find anything interesting. The characters are rather okay and not so much as annoying as they are in their own right. Like Kogarashi as the only male lead is trying to walk a fine line and tightrope between keeping his sanity and chastity as he lives at Yuragi-sou. I’m not saying he is a pervert and trying to hold it in, but living with sexy (supernatural) babes 24/7, his tolerance game must be really strong. Very strong. Therefore when he often gets into accidental mischiefs like accidentally groping a girl’s boobs, it feels like God is trying to force fate and turn him into a pervert. Yeah, quite a number of such situations here. Or God gets His kicks seeing Kogarashi get beaten up by the violated girl. As part of the plot convenience for him being able to do just about anything, he has been possessed by a variety of skilled spirits in his youth. Does this make him an overpowered character? Sometimes I feel he is just one step away from being One Punch Man. One of the only few skills he never acquired because he wasn’t possessed by such ghosts, is to make love with girls… Thank goodness, right?

Yuuna looks like leading the pack to Kogarashi’s heart because of their proximity and the amount of time they spent with each other. The reason for Kogarashi to stay with her to help find her lingering regret seems to be a weak reason coupled by the fact he doesn’t punch girls. So I guess if there are rampaging animals, he is screwed if they are all female, huh? My hunch is that Yuuna’s lingering regret is to find love and once she realizes and accepts the fact that she has truly fallen in love with Kogarashi, will she start to ascend? One of the greatest dilemmas and tragedies ever. Only to have found love but now have to move on. So you see why status quo is so important at least in this kind of genres?

One of the most mind boggling things about Yuuna is about her ability to touch whatever she wants. This is both a plot convenience and a flaw. While it allows Yuuna to pass through things as a ghost (and to remind us that she is one), objects that she is able to touch whenever she wants to sometimes feel like a flimsy reason to get our fanservice fix. Especially the usual morning ruckus of Yuuna beating the sh*t out of Kogarashi when she just woke up. You know, they have been doing this for considerably a long time and you would think that they would learn at least something to prevent this from happening like as though it is the first time every time.

Also, how the heck can Yuuna want to touch things when she is asleep or unconscious?! For Yuuna to enable this ability only has me thinking that she really wants to be touched by Kogarashi but doesn’t want to take responsibility for it, hence her embarrassment going into overdrive mode and the violent reaction we often see. Not only when it comes to Kogarashi, but there are other moments too when Yuuna could have easily switched between this power like when she was captured by Genshiro. Was there some sort of Kryptonite in his palace that prevented her from escaping her prison walls? Instead, she had to wait till Kogarashi and co arrive to save her.

Another puzzling thing about Yuuna is her form when others see her. It is understandable that not everyone can see a ghost and hence in the eyes of those without spiritual powers, she looks like an eerie ghost. But I thought there was one simple solution for this albeit not perfect. Why does Yuuna not wear some real clothes over herself? Remember, she has that ability to touch things that she wants. So isn’t it okay to just allow her to touch the real clothes so it would seem like she is wearing them? As for her face, sketch her face on a paper and stick on her face like a mask! I mean, we can ask Kogarashi to draw, right? I am very sure he was once possessed by a very skilled artist.

So instead of confusing and trolling us that Yuuna is invisible in the eyes of the ordinary people who seem to just dismiss this as some cheap Kogarashi trick (probably it is easier to believe in this lie and be in denial than to deal with the real thing), just use this solution to solve a lot of problems! It gives others especially like Chisaki an easier time to feel her body rather than just looking like she is groping air. Really. After all, the usual clothes that Yuuna wear is just her own imagination, right? Practically she is always naked so I don’t see why the fuss that Yuuna becomes so embarrassed with certain clothes. Must be that perception thingy. Also confusing to us for Yuuna is that she claims to be a ghost bound to Yuragi-sou but has been to so many places farther away than I have in my entire life. My life sucks…

Sagiri and Chisaki being the next contenders for Kogarashi’s heart, I feel that Sagiri has been given slightly more focus compared to Yuuna and Chisaki. Although all have their personal screen times with him, I feel that Sagiri got slightly more. I may be wrong but this is because of Sagiri’s personality who is supposed to be a tough ninja chick oblivious to love. So when guys like Kogarashi come crashing into her life, it is more fun to see her turning to her tsundere side. The more she resists, the more she will unwittingly fall deeper into this pit trap known as love. Only in time will tell… Same thing for Chisaki although she is not so much as tsundere as Sagiri. She often gets worried thinking whenever she is in such a compromising situation, she believes this might lead Kogarashi to think she is some lewd woman trying to bait him in. At this point she should know the basics about Kogarashi to even think that he is some sort of pervert. I know, you can never be too sure and there is that slight remote chance he might just become the devil himself. So better give into her natural instincts and let him take the blame as the pervert just to satisfy our cheap cheesy fanservice thrill.

Now that Oboro is staying at Yuragi-sou, did she have permission to leave Genshiro? I mean, is that dragon dude okay of being left alone in his palace without any females? Previously Oboro was his retainer despite being the only female around. Now that she is gone for who knows how long (until Kogarashi impregnates her maybe), Genshiro has only his fish guards as company. I wonder why his palace that is so well hidden needs to have guards anyway. Guarding from what kind of intruders? Despite Oboro being bold and upfront in trying to ‘rape’ Kogarashi (or get him to f*ck her), somehow it doesn’t feel as exciting. Not only because of her monotonous and boring facial expression, I suppose because the thrill comes from accidents or resistance. Where is the fun if both suddenly decide to get it on? Sure, that would be shocking but hardly fun because unlike the others as we have seen, ‘built up’ all the tension and drama with all those shenanigans and hence even if something steamy were to happen with Kogarashi and any of those trio, we would be watching with baited breath. Not for Oboro, though. Too easy. Maybe that’s why she’ll never get in his pants.

The other girls at Yuragi-sou don’t seem to look like interested in part of being of Kogarashi’s harem. Koyuzu is just a little kid (to cater for those lolicons), Yaya only follows Kogarashi because he feeds her decent grilled fish and Nonko is only looking for some thrill time and probably some sort of stress reliever after working so hard on her manga that she lets it all loose with her drinking and showing lots of skin. As for Nakai, the only weird thing I find about her situation is the fact she hides from the rest about going to school. If this is her first time going to school, won’t other classmates and teacher feel it is strange that she came from nowhere? Unless she cooked up a real good background. So will she continue this until high school and graduate? Because by that time this secret would have been busted. I am sure there are certain events that a student will need his/her parents to get involved. Oh, I don’t know. Say, sports festivals, PTA meetings, permissions for field trips. The last one she can give excuse to be away for association meetings but there is only so long she can be away from Yuragi-sou otherwise the inn would have collapsed without her caretaking! And it’s pretty odd that Nakai has her own friends at school but they don’t seem to know a lot about her or even come visit the place where she lives. I mean, both places are so close and in the same town. Because it will be the biggest screw up ever if Nakai’s hidden life and people from both sides of it discover each other. Will her luck run out by then?

Art and animation are okay. Characters are not sophisticatedly designed and they look simple and lean more towards cute. Somehow I find Kogarashi looks like a discount version of High School DxD’s Issei. Same case for Chisaki whom I feel is a discount version of To Aru Kagatsu No Railgun’s Misaka. And why does Oboro remind me of Toji No Miko’s Sayaka? Ever since Monogatari’s Senjougahara decided to cut her hair short, isn’t that why this hairstyle was taken up by Sagiri? Just slap an eye-patch and you got yourself another character. Even if certain scenes look like having their quality lowered, of course when it comes to fanservice scenes, you’ll get your decent juicy details because our eyes will be wide opened focusing on all the possible details we can get ;p. This animation is produced by Xebec who is a ‘master’ of producing many anime series of this genre like To Love-Ru, Keijo, Maken-Ki, Triage X, MM, Shuffle, Ladies Versus Butlers and Kanokon.

Voice acting wise, I only recognize Youko Hikasa as the narrator and she is trying to sound as silly as possible. Just like so many other seiyuus I have stereotyped and begun to only recognize them in that single trademark voice of theirs, I guess it is no wonder why I couldn’t identify Yui Ogura as Yaya. No cute squeaky high pitched voice here. Just an emotionless cat girl who probably lacks the most dialogue among the main and supporting characters. The rest of the other casts are Yuuki Ono as Kogarashi (Isami in Shokugeki No Souma), Miyuki Shimabukuro as Yuuna (Narumi in Harukana Receive), Rie Takahashi as Sagiri (Megumin in KonoSuba), Eri Suzuki as Chisaki (Chinatsu in Flying Witch), Ai Kakuma as Nonko (Rossweiesse in High School DxD series), Anzu Haruno as Koyuzu (Mafuyu in Blend S), Sayaka Harada as Nakai (Sayaka in Aho Girl), Mikako Komatsu as Oboro (Neko in K), Mao Ichimichi as Urara (Enri in Overlord), You Taichi as Seri (Dorothy in Princess Principal) and Yoshimasa Hosoya as Genshiro (Reiner in Shingeki No Kyojin).

The opening theme, Momoiro Typhoon by Luna Haruna feels like a generic anime pop song. Nothing special in my books. The ending theme, Happen ~Kogarashi Ni Fukarete~ by Miyuri Shimabukuro, Rie Takahashi and Eri Suzuki sound a lot like manufactured pop music. So much so I can imagine this is the kind of song that is used when you want to play those dancing games like Dance Dance Revolution. Yes, it does have that feel and beat albeit not the very fast and exuberant kind.

Overall, if you like ecchi series, this one is for you and it is comparable to High School DxD although the latter is still better because it has already built its own base over the years. After all, what else would you come to expect to watch this kind of genre? It would be ironic to say this kind of series is just clean fun because there is nothing really clean watching shows filled with such fanservice. Our hearts and minds are already so dirty and this mild one is just only enough as starters. I hope I don’t come to a point where I have to watch real hentai just to get the same thrill. So haunted house with scary ghosts or lewd ghosts? Both equally as scary because one scares the daylights out of you and the other sucks all the libido out of you. Scared to death or died happily. You’re dead either way.

Sunohara-sou No Kanrinin-san

December 2, 2018

Dorm themed animes aren’t all that ubiquitous. They aren’t that rare either. Over the years we have a few of them like as early as Maison Ikkoku to Mahoraba in the 2000’s and the recent ones over these past few years, Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo and Bokura Wa Minna Kawaisou. This season, we bring you Sunohara-sou No Kanrinin-san. You must be thinking why the title of this anime is given to the caretaker of this dorm. Because among all the dorm themed animes I have mentioned, she has the freaking largest bust! SO F*CKING HUGE!!!!!!! Are you sure this is not some sort of porn studio disguised as a dorm? Nope. Checked that one out. And as usual, new petite and meek character moves into the dorm, meets other quirky dorm residents and the very often encounter with those huge racks. Sure this isn’t really a porn studio?

Episode 1
Aki Shiina has just arrived at Tokyo and makes his way to Sunohara Dorm where he meets the caretaker, Ayaka Sunohara. First thing he will notice is her tremendously huge boobs! Can’t blame him. It’s at his eye level. My fist question will be was she a porn star… Because Ayaka thinks he is a girl, she has him take a bath and is going to bath with him! It took him a while there to convince her he is a guy. Aki observes Ayaka is good at everything. But the only thing that bothers him is how she loves smothering him in her boobs! Yeah, it’s suffocating. Aki’s goal of starting a new life here is to be a real man. Due to his girly looks, he is often mistaken to be a girl. So he tries to help Ayaka with the chores to prove how manly he is but always fails. So Ayaka gives him a chance to be treated like a man if he kisses her on the cheek. He is about to do it when other dorm residents return. Well, they’re not mad at Aki but rather Ayaka. Yeah, it seems all of them were victims of her deep skinship. Folks, meet Yuzu Yukimoto (has a complex over her small body parts including her stature), Sumire Yamanashi (nose bleeds over cute Yuzu) and Yuri Kazami (probably a sadist) (trio to be collectively known as 3 Stooges instead of 3Y). Next morning, Aki is almost awakened by Ayaka’s sexy wakeup call had not Yuzu come in to stop them. Before Aki leaves for school, since he is nervous of being a new transfer student, Ayaka helps him practice. She plays the part by dressing up in her old school uniform. Why does she look like ready for a porn shoot? Aki is still nervous so she lets him touch her boobs to feel her nervous heart too. Can he feel her beating heart at that distance?! Now his heart is nervous for another reason. Yeah, she trolled him. But thanks to that, his day at school went fine.

Episode 2
Aki thinks he has gotten used to the dorm. Yeah. Now see Ayaka in a cheerleading outfit! Underboobs… As she cheers him while studying, he begins to wonder if she is cheering or distracting him. Apparently the school will have a sport’s day and she’s supposed to come cheer? Oh boy. I can see the mayhem it will cause. Ayaka helps Aki train for the sports day. At the end of the day, Aki is tired while Ayaka is still full of stamina. I’m surprised all that boobs bouncing in his face wasn’t the reason he tire out. Later as he baths, Ayaka helps trim his hair. Free fanservice too, right? This training goes on a few more days but when the real day comes, Aki is totally flat out as the mental and physical strain of being too close to Ayaka wore him out. There is a spider on the wall so Yuzu wants Aki to help rid of it. She blames him for not being manly when he fails to do so. So he trolls her there are bugs lying around. Don’t count on Sumire either. She passed out when the spider landed on her. Yuri? She’s lecturing from a mile away how harmless the spider is. Oh, Ayaka is here. Pervy spidey lands on her boobs. I think her cleavage could have squished it but she coolly throws it out. The 3 Stooges plan to find out Ayaka’s weakness and they think Aki can help do so when they go out do errands. But at the liquor store run by Nishiki Yatsuho, Aki believes she likes alcohol. Yuzu’s next plan is for them to watch a horror movie together. Gee, Aki doesn’t know what a VCR tape is! Too bad Aki is the one who got scared! After more failed ideas, the only thing left is to ask her directly. Aki agrees thinking by showing how manly he is by protecting her, she’ll see him as a man. So when he does so, she realizes what that horror movie was for. So she says what scares her most is somebody sneaking into her room while she is sleeping. Oh no. Why do I have a feeling this is a trap? Expectedly, Aki does so but Ayaka pulls him to sleep with her. She admits she was also scared watching the horror movie but hold it in. So now that she can’t sleep, she hopes he could take some responsibility. Next morning, Yuzu is not pleased to see the duo snuggling close to each other.

Episode 3
Yuzu hangs out in Aki’s room because it is cooler. That hot air rises science thingy since his room is on the ground floor. As she sits on his lap to read her shoujo manga, Yuzu starts to get embarrassed as the story is getting racy. With them in this position and Aki unwittingly following some of that action, she gets embarrassed and leaves. Ayaka wonders what happened and as Aki explains, Ayaka has an idea so she suggests replicating that scene. I think he understands now. Only, it ends up with boobs smothering. Aki realizes Sumire has been observing-cum-stalking him! She thinks Yuzu has taken a liking for him so she is observing what he has and what she lacks. And I don’t think it’s the dick that’s making a difference! When Sumire likes the cat pillow he has, he thinks she likes cute stuffs. Both of them agree on this topic when Ayaka walks in. She sees their ambiguous position. Sumire clears the air. No, she made it worse. She says they were just showing each other their embarrassing parts! In the end, Sumire somewhat understands why Yuzu takes a liking for him. Then warns him to hide is ero magazines. Sumire is in depression. She suggested Yuzu to go to the amusement park but she isn’t tall enough to ride. Hence the rest wants Aki to go talk to her since Ayaka isn’t around. A boy in her room? Well, dressed as a girl! Sumire is not amused. He is forced to change her clothes. After that ordeal, Sumire goes into withdrawal since she hasn’t had Yuzu sit on her shoulders today. Aki becomes her substitute. Energy level rising. Back to normal. Yuzu assures that kind of stuff will not depress her. Now she has a live chicken on her head to look taller! Still rejected at the amusement park, though. True depression… Aki accepts Yuri’s favour thinking it would earn him manly points. Turns out she wants him to wear a maid outfit! What did he say about a man not going back on his words? As Yuri makes her own clothes, Yuzu is too small while Sumire is too big. Aki is the right size. So why didn’t she try it on herself? Damn that yandere look… Yeah, she’s getting the camera ready. And there are plenty of outfits she wants him to wear. The last straw came when she wants him to wear a bikini. The commotion causes Ayaka to come check on them but Aki takes Yuri to hide in the closet. He realizes the close proximity. However he thought she smelled nice.

Episode 4
As the girls are talking about June bride, Aki now has to hear their ideals of getting married. But thankfully Ayaka isn’t thinking about marriage now and is happy the way she is. In his search to be helpful, Aki thinks cooking would make a man popular. So as he takes sexually charged lessons from Ayaka, he eventually cooks great. However this makes Yuzu sad that he makes a better girl than them! Yeah, cooking is for girls, right? Because Yuzu bought a swimsuit without trying, looks like there’s space in the boobs area. So she had to go ask Aki about it. My theory is that the slightest slip up gives her the excuse to beat him up because he might imply her boobs are small. So she has him use her computer to research on how to make her boobs grow. So researching herself would make her see things she shouldn’t? I think it’s another excuse to beat him up since eventually she has to see those things. As Ayaka’s bust is the biggest, Aki thinks of asking her but she knows he is staring at it and gives him the usual smothering. This has Aki think the heart is connected to the boob size. The universal truth?! He goes to tell Yuzu only to catch her in the act of self-massaging. But telling that universal truth got him kicked out. When Yuzu sees Ayaka with an old swimsuit of hers that is definitely too tight to fit now, she gets happy thinking she still has a chance. Ayaka didn’t have the heart to tell her that’s her swimsuit from elementary school days. Aki helps Ayaka fix the roof leak. However the ladder falls. Nobody is at home and they left their handphone in their room. And it’s raining. I guess spending quality time is all they have. When the roof gets slippery, Aki slips but is luckily caught by Ayaka. They are in a compromising situation but the 3 Stooges return and see this. Yuzu cuts Aki to take a bath first as both are drenched from the rain. As the 3 Stooges take a nice warm bath, Ayaka tries to warm him. Even going so far as to use her body heat! She takes his temperature. No fever. Oh, suddenly he has! Must be too close her face to his. She lets him lie on her lap. Feels so good. When the 3 Stooges finally get out and see this, all conspire to force Yuri to sleep on Ayaka’s lap as she is the only one who didn’t get this ‘treatment’.

Episode 5
With the inflatable pool at the backyard, Aki is giving excuses why he can’t join the 3 Stooges or even use it himself. Until Ayaka pushes him in. At least she should have wait until he changed into his swimsuit. I think he was reluctant since he lack a manly body anyway. And yeah, what a great fanservice with all the girls in their swimsuits. All so busty except for Yuzu… Hope is fading… When Yuri lets Aki see some of the photos she took, he notices some of them are voyeurism of Yuzu! Now that he has seen them, she will make him ‘disappear’. Why do I have a feeling she deliberately did that? With Sumire here, Yuri lets her see voyeurism pictures of Yuzu. But if she wants to see more, please cough up the cash. Now that Aki knows this secret, she will really make him ‘disappear’. Of course lest he does her a favour. She wants him to take pictures of Ayaka in her ‘natural habitat’. That’s a funny way of saying ‘spy’. But Ayaka knows each time he snaps and is photogenic. Of course this isn’t what Yuri wants. So will Aki have to ‘disappear’? Nah. Just joking. Ayaka becomes a teacher to help Aki in his studies. I have to ask again, is she ready for a porn shoot? Too bad Aki has to finish his homework before he can even use the toilet! So the reward for finishing it is ice cream. Oh Aki, you were thinking of fanservice from Ayaka? But the way she licks her ice cream… Isn’t that good enough? Yatsuho comes by to deliver lime juice and some special liquor to them. As they drink together, the 3 Stooges return and they are shocked Ayaka has drank some alcohol. I guess we’re going to see why that is a bad idea as Ayaka ‘attacks’ Yuzu! Oh sh*t! She ‘attacks’ the other girls and Aki thinks it’s time for him to be a man to save them. Unfortunately he fails. Is he going to be Ayaka’s victim too? Just when he thought she is going to give him a blowjob and spout all that love crap thingy, it is actually she fell asleep on his lap. She wakes up shortly but has no memories as a drunkard. Or does she? Because she hints to Aki that she is waiting for him.

Episode 6
Aki is shocked to see a tanned girl in his room. Nana used to live here and was the former student council president before Yuzu. Looks like she loves flirting with innocent Aki. With Yuzu in the picture, they fight over Aki. Uhm, the battle is school subjects? Too bad Yuzu lost since Nana is using high school subjects. When Ayaka comes by to stop their tug of war over Aki, Aki learns that Nana is Ayaka’s younger sister. So different like day and night. Except for their boobs. Monstrous. Must be in the family genes. Aki gets a shock when he wakes up with Nana sleeping next to him. Yeah, she still thinks it is her room. But then she freaks out after realizing he saw her without her makeup. Later she returns and takes out an old video game console from a secret compartment. Can you believe it Aki has never played video games before?! Yeah, Nana onee-chan is going to teach him. Yeah, sounds so sexually charged… Can he focus with her being so close to him? Especially those boobs? Aki continues his losing streak in a fighting game till he gets bored. When Ayaka comes in to check, Nana wants to take Aki home and keep him as a pet! No way. Ayaka claims she is in charge of him. With the girls at the pool, a couple of girls, Maiko “Mai” Osonoi and Mea Uchifuji try to hit on Aki. Turns out they are Nana’s friends. Yeah, they have no shame admitting they’re into younger guys. They wonder if he is Nana’s boyfriend. Nope. Her pet. Yeah, that’s even far away from being a man. Nana pleads to Ayaka he wants to borrow Aki for today. But Ayaka can’t since she is here to teach him swimming. Hence Nana suggests a swimming battle to see who can have him. Suddenly he is now the prize. Nana thinks Ayaka’s huge boobs would create water resistance but Ayaka counters that by swimming backstroke. Their friends are supposed to be the judges but they are too busy smothering Aki with their love to even bother. And so Nana challenges Ayaka again each time she couldn’t didn’t beat her. Her friends continue to spoil Aki until they’re bored and leave. At the end of the day, it is Nana’s loss since she has no more energy left. And when it’s time for swimming lessons, looks like the pool is closed for the day.

Episode 7
Yuzu is scared of scary movies and yet she is watching them because it’s part of the summer requisite? Leave it to Nana to scare them and then take this chance to flirt with Aki to sleep with her if he’s scared. That night, Aki hears strange noises from next door. Hmm… No room next door… He asks Ayaka about it and she says there is a storage room that can only be accessed outside that no one is using. Yeah, grandma sealed it… With more noises, Aki tries to be manly and investigate it. Hmm… For a sealed door, it’s unlocked. He sees Nana exercising on a treadmill. Apparently Nana has been buying gym equipment and storing here as a secret since her room is too small. With Ayaka finding out about this, she is going to make her eat food she hates until she likes it. Aki realizes the scariest thing here isn’t ghosts… Nana hopes Aki and Yuzu can put some of her gym stuffs in their room. Then it becomes a challenge between Nana and Yuzu. The loser will take all the equipment. Of course Nana aces them but why does it look like she’s flaunting her sexy body at Aki? Hard not to look at her normally… The only match Yuzu wins is hanging on the bar. She used her light weight to her advantage. Hmm… Could it be Nana’s humongous boobs brought her down? In the end, Ayaka suggests keeping it in the storeroom because putting it in their rooms will only scratch the floor. What a meaningless challenge… Aki once more tries to be manly and help Ayaka but to no avail. With Yuri suggesting a back massage, first she teaches her ‘technique’ using Sumire as a guinea pig. In order not to look shady, Aki approaches Ayaka via using massage coupons. She uses them and after a short while, Ayaka stops him. Since she didn’t make any reaction, Aki thought he was bad with it. I think Ayaka has a good poker face. Aki reports this failure to Yuri as they try to enhance the training by taking it out on Sumire again. Nana’s friends are pleading to copy her homework. Oh, Nana has a plan by using Aki as a reward. He doesn’t want to get involved but after they pin the blame on him if they become bad students, what choice does he have? So unmanly, right? If they finish a page, they get to do whatever they want with him for 10 seconds. This serves as their motivation as it gets more risqué. When they take a break, Ayaka joins them to play king’s game. I wonder if the friends are now yuri-fied after tasting Ayaka’s ‘holiness’. In the end they realize they have wasted too much time and must rush to finish their homework. They heard Aki gave Ayaka a massage and want one too. Laying out their asses in a row? Looks like they’re going to heaven again.

Episode 8
Aki hears satisfying moans from Nana coming from a room. When Nana realizes it, she teases him of course. Turns out she had her ears cleaned by Ayaka. Nana forces him to get one. The first side seems okay. Turning the next side face too close to boobs… Not sure if Ayaka is damn good or so boring that Aki fell asleep. Later Nana shows a picture of Aki’s sleeping face to the 3 Stooges. They’re laughing at it until Yuri shows him the same with Nana and Yuzu. With the festivals tonight, Ayaka doesn’t want to put on her yukata believing it isn’t the right side (for her boobs?). But Aki looks disappointed so she agrees to wear them. Now the sisters bug him to put on their sash. When the 3 Stooges go get them, they see the sisters trying to dress Aki and this embarrasses Yuzu a lot. Eh, so why is it his fault? At the festivals, it is hard for Aki to not be treated like a kid. Yup, the sisters trying to hold his hands. He tries to be a man but apparently he sucks at all the games and Nana is the better one. Then here comes Mai and Uchifuji to take away the fun. Yup, they want to flirt with Aki too. They cross the line when the teasing gets too intense with the girls wanting to feed him so Aki has had it and runs away. Feeling guilty, they all look for him. WTF Mai and Uchifuji go flirt with younger boys as part of their search? Just as the fireworks start, Ayaka finds Aki. He is sorry for making them worry. Excuse for Ayaka to still need to take care of him. As they return to the rest, Yuzu hijacks the PA and screams for dummy Aki to come back. Now they all can watch the great fireworks together. When summer vacation is over, Nana leaves and thanks them for their hospitality. What’s this? Aki is most emotional about her departure? Thanks to all the onee-chan teasing? But suddenly next Sunday she returns. She is free to go and do whatever she wants on her free days so she’ll be stopping by here now and then to hang out. I guess Aki is feeling dumb about that dramatic departure. Give back those tears!

Episode 9
Ayaka and Aki help Yatsuho man her Oktoberfest event. Does this mean Aki has to dress up like a German maid? He thought Yuzu packed him manly clothes but it turns out to be a wig. Yeah, now a complete set. The place is bustling with customers streaming thanks to Ayaka. I think we all know why. Aki decently helps out but of course at the start he has a little bit of trouble because… How the heck do you pronounce and write those German words! The event is a success and Yatsuho really wants Aki to be her poster girl. Thank goodness nobody recognized Aki, eh? And now Ayaka is drunk and trying to get all over Aki. Back home, Ayaka gives Aki and Nana some sweet potatoes. They take a selfie and send them to the 3 Stooges who are away on a school field trip. In return, they send back selfies of their eating spree. As Nana weighs herself, oh dear it’s that dread again. Then she tries to prank Ayaka by claiming she too has fats (nope, not her boobs area) so that she could do her fondling. That night Aki hears noises from the storeroom. It can’t be Nana as she has gone back. Gasp! A robber? As he examines, it is Ayaka trying to work the gym machine but has bad luck using them. He pretends not to see this. Good choice. One morning, Ayaka suddenly collapses! Aki is in full panic mode. Exaggerating, isn’t he? Yeah, Yuzu is not impressed you barging into her room. So the 3 Stooges help take care of Ayaka’s cold but since they have school duties, they leave it to Aki. So he has to get over his whatever fears to nurse her. Like wiping sweat off her naked back. And then the front. Underboobs. If he has to psycho himself he needs to be a man to do this, so be it. Eventually Ayaka gets better and is grateful for him ‘saving’ her. But the she ambiguously describes how she’ll do the same to him has the 3 Stooges getting the wrong idea something immoral happened.

Episode 10
Aki is out in the streets when Nana and her friends hijack him to go karaoke together. Aki doesn’t know how to use a karaoke machine and this kicks up some weird fantasies among the friends about his ‘first time’. When he tries to sing, he can’t because Mai and Uchifuji are caressing his thighs! When they have their photo taken at the booth, they do indecent and distracting things like pecking his cheek! Once they have their fun, they ‘dump’ him. Such a useful guy… Meanwhile Yatsuho is over at Sunohara and gets drunk with Ayaka. Aki returns and Yuzu is about to reprimand him after looking at that unholy pecking photo when they hear weird moaning sounds. Two drunk ladies… Yuzu tries to be smart and stop it but becomes their molest victim. Her friends try to help out but they to fall victim. Aki is the best because he walks away and pretends not to see anything. Ayaka takes Aki to the aquarium where they see lots of animals. A particular set of penguins seem to resemble the Sunohara residents… When Aki brags about the penguins to Yuzu, she tries to hint to take her along the next time. She gets scared when he tries describing the shark. With Sumire suggesting to be Aki’s older sister, Yuzu insists that role falls on her and has Aki sleep on her lap. I think Yuzu is more embarrassed than anything. Sumire tries to hijack being he little sister but Yuri tries out next with this sick act. She tries to feed sick Aki but eventually feels embarrassed. Gee, Yuri embarrassed? Next is Sumire. Trying to get Aki to come into the bath while she is changing so they can bath together? Not the slightest bit of embarrassment. Because the 3 Stooges never had an older sister, Ayaka is their ideal. In turn, they ask Aki since he does have one. However he is reluctant to say and this only kicks up some bad memories. Speaking of which, looks like a certain devil woman has found Sunohara…

Episode 11
Aki wakes up with a hot girl in her lingerie on top of him! Nope. It’s not Ayaka. It’s his sister, Matsuri! Morning sex interrupted with Ayaka comes in. As Matsuri is introduced to the rest, she still believes Aki is her little sister. When Yuzu tries to correct her, Matsuri gives that death stare! When it is time to leave, Matsuri says she is taking Aki back too. That is why she is here. Aki hides behind Ayaka. Thank goodness for those boobs barrier. Death stare doesn’t work on Ayaka. With Matsuri still insisting, Ayaka assures their parents gave their permission so Aki is perfectly fine under her care. Hence Matsuri decides to test her and if she fails to live up to her standards, she will bring Aki home. Of course she is going to fail her anyway. Since her stomach is growling, this dinner test should do the trick. Ayaka cooks to most delicious hamburg steak ever. Even if Matsuri is planning to lie, her body can’t. She finishes her plate clean! Don’t be satisfied yet. There’s more to come. And so we see Matsuri being ‘seduced’ by all of Ayaka’s first class sisterly and motherly treatments. Yup, Ayaka even helps brushes her teeth and to wear her pyjamas! Is this heaven? During the bath, Ayaka comes to was her back as art of Sunohara’s tradition. She finds Matsuri’s insecurities and love for Aki as his older sister. So Ayaka suggests becoming both their older sisters. Whenever she is here, she doesn’t have to worry and leave all the pampering to her. Stubborn Matsuri still won’t give up and wants to test her next time. So I guess Ayaka passed today’s test. Next day, she tails them out doing errands. When she thinks she spots them doing something lewd in public, it’s time to charge in. She tries to use this excuse to fail Ayaka and while the latter rants about food, Matsuri has taken Aki to some dark alley to ‘force’ him to come home. Aki has learnt to talk back… Matsuri tries to lead the way back but gets lost. She won’t accept Aki’s help thinking as the older sister she must be his guide. Until she trips and sprains her ankle. Aki then carries her all the way back to Sunohara. Flashback of memories when Matsuri often took care of Aki because he is such a wimp. Now the bird has flown the nest? Eventually they get back and Matsuri takes her leave. The next time Matsuri pops up, it looks like she has transferred to a nearby school. Still not giving up on Aki…

Episode 12
Kotatsu the saviour of the cold season. Aki is treated like a king as Ayaka feeds him oranges. When the kotatsu is supposedly spoiled, Ayaka crawls under to fix it. It is taking too long and Aki feels she is trying to mess with his feet. Busted! She crawls out to his side. While waiting for it to warm up again, she goes to make tea. When she returns, Aki has fallen asleep. Later out with Yuzu, it seems Aki still believes in Santa! Really! He thinks he should know he has moved to Sunohara and is expecting presents! Oh dear. Yuzu tells Sumire and Yuri about this because Aki intends to stay awake to see Santa. On Christmas Eve, the usual gang gathers. Ayaka and Nana as sexy Santarina? I wonder if they used up all the material just to cover their boobs… As they have their usual fun, looks like ‘Santa’ is trying to sneak in. It’s Matsuri! When the party is over and everyone has left, Ayaka catches Matsuri trying to enter the locked storeroom (she must have been lost). As part of the plan to keep Aki asleep, Yuzu is going to sleep with him?! I guess it beats Yuri’s drug and Sumire’s neck chop. Eventually both fall asleep. Chance for Ayaka and Matsuri to go in and leave their parents. Matsuri doesn’t like seeing Aki sleeping with another girl but she has to put up with it for tonight. As they leave, Aki in his sleepy state sees Ayaka and thinks Santa looks a lot like her. You don’t say… I guess it’s legit because at least Santa is also ‘fat’. Just not at the belly. Haha! Then Aki has this weird dream of discovering Ayaka is Santa as they fly around town in their magical sleigh. Yeah, he is telling her all this next morning. Excitedly. Nana teases Yuzu the ‘present’ she gave her for sleeping with Aki in her place. For the New Year, the Sunohara residents clean the place. To warm their cold hands, the girls place it on Aki’s tummy. Then they try to search for porn mags in his room but find a macho magazine?! Is he gay?! I think he wants to build muscles… Good luck… Aki tries to stay awake with Ayaka so that she doesn’t have to be alone when New Year arrives. He could barely keep it up. Aki is glad she is the caretaker of Sunohara and hopes to be in her care for the next year too. Next morning they visit the shrine and make their usual wish. Aki’s wish is to get closer to Ayaka. When the rest later tease him about his wish because he can’t say it, Ayaka leans closer hoping he could whisper to her. Aki couldn’t believe his wish came true and turns back to make a more specific wish. Greedy, aren’t we?

Cute Girls, Shota Trap, Boobs…
Oh well, another year, another same ol’, same ol’ stuffs. Unless something drastic actually happens, I believe everybody will continue to be status quo. For example, I don’t think Aki would turn into some macho man in the next year or any time soon in the near future. Because I am sure that Aki would have lost his charm of being Aki. Yup. The true wish of everybody is for everybody to stay the same! Oh Aki, you have been so close to Ayaka to the point you even bathed together, how much closer do you want to get? So close that you’re inside her????!!!! Jesus!!!! This isn’t that kind of anime!!!!

I have this strange feeling that had it not been for Ayaka’s humungous boobs, the series might been even more ordinary and would not have attracted as many attention as it now did. Imagine the caretaker with decent sized boobs. Looks pretty plain, doesn’t it when you compare some of the incidents that involved the use of those melons? It wouldn’t have such a profound effect if they were of normal size. Because seeing a petite little guy being smothered by those huge racks is somewhat the ‘charm’ of the series. The hidden and subtle sleazy fanservice factor that attracts us pervert otaku guys to take a look at this series. Oh yeah. Fantasy initiating sequence…

I suppose part of the charm in this series is because how almost everyone takes advantage of Aki’s meekness, pushes him around or when Aki tries to man up to management, he fails and falls in line to what is expected of him. Can’t blame this guy who has been living under his sister’s shadow and torment ever since young. It is hard to just change overnight. Even though he tries but I guess the charm of Ayaka’s big sister traits (and definitely her boobs) bring him right down to earth and stripping him of whatever motivation he had earlier on to become a real man. Maybe he should start pumping some iron? Otherwise if Aki continues to be timid and submissive, he’ll forever become Sunohara and other girls’ toy. See how much fun they have toying around with him? It’s not because he looks so much a like a girl, you know. It’s more of because he doesn’t really fight back.

Ayaka is the real final boss whom everyone will find it hard to defeat. The perfect okaa-san or onee-san who takes care and tends to every of your needs and makes you feel really comfortable at home, even the enemies will put down their weapons right at the doorstep. The battle has already been won without starting. Unarm yourselves and throw yourselves into the arms (and boobs) of our mother caretaker! Ayaka suits her caretaker job as she is quite understanding and patient although her gentle demeanour might sometimes be mistaken for her being a slow retard. It’s like she is in a world of her own and her gravitational pull is so strong that you will even be absorbed into her pace. The more confronting you are, the more it will backfire and harder to resist to fall into her charms. This is why she is the one who wears the pants in Sunohara. She is sometimes also a bit cheeky especially during a few moments when Aki tries to show his (feeble) manly side but ends up making him look a bit like a pervert. Then Ayaka would tease him for being ecchi. I guess there goes Aki’s chance as he drops even more points and getting further away to become the ideal man.

Matsuri is fast starting to become a hated and annoying character because of her overprotective ways over Aki. It’s like she owns her brother. Oops, I mean ‘sister’. I can understand why she still wants to treat him as a little ‘sister’ and be in denial because Aki is the only thing she has got. Since young Aki has been weak and always relied on her. Hence it is Matsuri’s only place of belonging in that sense. When Aki goes away or has flown the nest, what is there left for Matsuri? She would have lost her only reason of existence. Now that Aki has found someone new to rely on, what does that make of Matsuri? It’s devastating. So that’s why she’s so desperate to bring Aki back and pry her away from the ‘claws’ of Ayaka and return to the old days. It’s sad that she doesn’t want things to change when they already have. But what I don’t like about her is how she shoves her opinions down on Aki without giving him so much of a freedom and choice, the reason why he ran away in the first place. Now with Ayaka as the much better big sister, Matsuri is going to find a rival that will give her a run for her money.

As for the other characters, they are lovable and quirky in their own ways. I was hoping there would be more screen time and development for the 3 Stooges but if that were to happen, it would diminish the development for Aki and Ayaka, which is supposed to be the core of the series. So we’re stuck with knowing them as they are like the child-like Yuzu, the perverted tall girl Sumire who has an eternal crush on Yuzu (the cuter, the more her nose bleeds) and the scheming Yuri who seems to mirror a bit like Matsuri because she too wants to make a girly girl out of Aki. I keep wondering if Yuzu has a crush on Aki because of the way they show her sometimes somewhat concerned about him. Asides Ayaka, Yuzu is the other girl who is the next closest with Aki. She claims to stop any seemingly lewd activities between them but is that really her goal?

If Matsuri views Aki has her possession, then Aki is definitely some kind of plaything to Nana and her friends. They treat him like as though he is some sort of living dakimakura or something. Must be too cute to resist not hugging and hogging him. Nana is not so bad but Mai and Uchifuji are much worse. Because once they have had their fun fill with Aki, they would just go away and leave him on the side. Like, they really treat him like an object. Heck, not only Aki. As long as there are cute young boys around, you bet these cougar ladies will come prowl on them. I suppose younger boys are more gullible and better to flirt with than boys their age.

The art and animation fall into that cute and kawaii style with the characters obviously looking like so. If you have watched Kobayashi-san Chi No Maid Dragon, you’ll find the art style is pretty much similar although they are both written by different authors and produced by different anime studio. This one by Sliver Link (Non Non Biyori, Tanaka-kun Wa Itsumo Kedaruge, Imouto Sae Ireba Ii, Strike The Blood, Masamune-kun No Revenge, Baka To Test To Shoukanjuu). Instead of huge dragon boobs, now we have huge human boobs. As for Aki looking like a girl… Heck, I have been watching animes for so long that this is the kind of normal generic boys look. I’m not sure if Nana is naturally born dark skin or she underwent some tanning to become a gal but her obvious bikini lines are definitely striking and you can’t take your eyes of it… Is this her other fanservice than her huge boobs that seem to run in the family? I keep wondering if Yuzu was somewhat a copy and paste of Komari from Non Non Biyori because they look and act pretty similar and even more so with the fact that they are both very conscious of their petite stature.

Another factor making me think so is because I thought Yuzu was voiced by Kana Asumi. I was wrong. Natsumi Takamori (Azusa in Orange) sounds suspiciously close to her that it really gave me the expression it was her. If it was really Kana Asumi, then it would have been a perfect field day for me to spout my conspiracy theory of what Nyaruko-san has become! Yup, Eri Kitamura is the voice behind Aki who was also behind Haiyore! Nyaruko-san’s Mashiro. Had Kana Asumi who played the titular character of Nyaruko been playing the role of Yuzu, I would have gone on speculating how Mashiro have lost his balls and become so meek to be picked on by this newly reincarnated Nyaruko. Oh man. It would have been absolutely perfect.

While Ayane Sakura and Shizuka Itou as Nana and Yatsuho are recognizable respectively, it never dawned to me that Rina Satou was behind Ayaka. I guess I was expecting her to sound like her tough chicks role like Misaka from To Aru Kagaku No Railgun and Shura from Ao No Exocist. However this is not the first time Rina Satou sounded like a very soft and gentle big sister who will always care for you. In fact, she sounds hell a lot like Haruka from Minami-ke! OMG. It has been so long ago and now I remember! No wonder Ayaka sounded so familiar to a nostalgic point. Thank goodness it wasn’t her boobs ;p. The other casts are Asami Seto as Sumire (Asagi in Strike The Blood), Yume Miyamoto as Yuri (Megumi in GJ-Bu), Ai Kayano as Matsuri (Teruhashi in Saiki Kusuo No Psi-nan), Megumi Nakajima as Mai (Kaede in Kampfer) and Juri Nagatsuma as Uchifuji (Satone in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai Ren).

The opening theme, Bitter Sweet Harmony by Megumi Nakajima sounds decently catchy as it has this little jazzy feel to it. Especially the jazzy-like bass line that supports the lively and exuberant pace of the song. Definitely a suitable piece of this series. The ending theme is Sonna No Boku Janai by Shino Shimoji which I thought sounded a little bit weird. The opening feel of this song sounds a bit spacey or space-like. I don’t know. It gives me that sort of impression. Also, it gets really heavy on the bass beat side that feels like it is one step away from turning into a dubstep if you want to.

Overall, this series isn’t the kind you would watch for the plot or deep character development. It is light hearted with some funny moments. It can be an enjoyable watch if you don’t mind the hentai-like boobs that gives this series its breath of fanservice. No matter how manly we are, sometimes we need to be smothered by those motherly boobs and be pampered like a baby because that’s what everybody needs once in a while when life gets too crazy and hectic. If great caretakers like Ayaka really exist, you’ll find people moving in and never checking out. Ever. Are those services even for ‘rent’? Because I definitely need them too. The boobs and the pampering all in one package, please.

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