Tenpuru

7 January, 2024

When you think of a temple, one would normally think it is a place of sacredness and spiritual worship. Prayers and sacrifice. No dirty thoughts or desires of the flesh would naturally come to mind. Unless of course an anime decides to defile all that holiness! Holy sh*t indeed. Tenpuru is your fanservice anime of the season and yes, it’s about a guy trying to get rid of his earthly desires by staying at a temple but finds it the most challenging challenge ever because there are young gorgeous chicks living there! Now do you see where this is going! But don’t worry, this is not the first time a temple themed anime gets sullied. Amaenaide Yo did it almost 2 decades ago way back in 2006 and hence this anime is now a timely reminder to remind us that nothing is safe when it comes to rule 34. Yeah… Prepare to be spiritually corrupted!

Episode 1
When Akemitsu Akagami was young, his father told him no one can live on loneliness. And with that, father left the family to go meet other women around the world! Damn, Akemitsu impressed with daddy?! Many years down the road, we see him leading a proper and boring life! He wants to stay single forever! Yeah, father left a bad reputation that has women think the family is some sort of sleazebag. No girlfriends needed! On his way home, some rice barrel hits him. Yuzuki Aoba goes to check if he is okay. He runs away? Back home, he is smitten with her! He has changed so much that now he stares at girls and even go to mixers! With his life getting out of control, he decides to wrest it back by becoming a monk and denounce all earthly desires. With his uncle’s recommendation, he heads to a temple and to his shock, Yuzuki greets him?! Well, being clumsy and revealing her sexy sides causes him to ‘die’. So he wants to marry her now, eh? So after they calm down and she asks about his hobbies, he wonders if this is a trick question to get him admitted. He excuses himself to the toilet but finds a cat, Nyagosuke stuck in the well. He tries to get it out but falls on. Cat is okay and got out, though.

Yuzuki calls Kiki for help. She doesn’t know what to do with this weird guy in this arranged marriage meeting. Arranged marriage? Kiki says the guy she is supposed to meet is right here with her! Oh sh*t. Could that guy be a ghost?! So when her sister, Tsukuyo returns, Yuzuki warns her about a ghost! Here comes Akemitsu all bloodied! Run for your life! Worse, he trips and gropes Tsukuyo’s boobs! Yuzuki dropkicks him as the girls run. They run past youngest sister, Kurage but she faints at the sight of this ‘ghost’. Mia Christoph comes out of her room to see the commotion only for him to crash into her as he fondled her boobs! Kagura Baldwin can only laugh at this mess. Yuzuki realizes this guy isn’t a ghost and knocks him out with a punch. With Kiki returned, she clears up the misunderstanding. Furthermore, this temple for men has been converted into a nunnery. Didn’t his uncle tell him that? Claiming both at fault, Kiki will have Akemitsu stay and train here as a monk. While some girls disagree, Kiki claims to have free labour. Not wanting trouble, he leaves. Because Kurage’s translation of Nyagosuke that he isn’t a bad person, Yuzuki goes to talk to him. Missed the last bus home. She invites him to stay at the temple and still remembers him the first time they met. So as they introduce themselves, his name sounds familiar… So back at the temple, Akemitsu is grovelling for forgiveness. That’s right. His father stole this temple’s money and ran away! He claims he will repay it. Will the girls buy it? They are putting to a vote on whether to trade him as a slave or organ trade! Better idea is to make him sell his dignity and since he is going to be working here for a long time, he is going to repay it all with his body!

Episode 2
What she meant is working here to pay off his debts! So as Yuzuki shows him around, the other girls discuss about a strategy to kick him out. Kiki suggests using the seduction strategy. Oh you know, the one whereby you seduce him with your body. Okay. So who is going to do it then? Everybody votes Tsukuyo since she is most well-endowed. First, she tries to say something bad about his cooking but damn, he cooks better than all of them! Wish he could cook for you forever? Then she forces him to do menial jobs but it seems he does it all better. Then the waterfall meditation (sorry, it’s just Tsukuyo using a big hose), he could’ve froze to death in this winter season but after seeing Yuzuki in her school uniform, it warms his heart! WTF logic?! Then as he baths, Tsukuyo starts stripping. I guess it has come to this, huh? The plan is to get him to sexually assault her and in good timing, Yuzuki will come in and see this. Of course Tsukuyo gets embarrassed and trips. He saves her from those falling boxes and accidentally kisses her and lands on top of her. At this time, Yuzuki enters and sees this. Oh my. She tells him to get out. Well, that was easy. Next few scenes, Tsukuyo notices Yuzuki avoiding her. After confronting her, it seems looking at her reminds her of Akemitsu’s dick?! So as they reconcile and think all of the recent events weren’t his fault, better hurry because Kiki says he has packed his bags and left. Yeah, Akemitsu trying to surrender to the police but they tell him to get lost! His own home? Well, it is already rented out. Have fun being homeless under the bridge.

So as Akemitsu rues his fate, Yuzuki finally finds him. She clears the air that what she meant was for him to leave the bath and not the temple. Learning that he is an adult and older than her, she tells him that he should rely on others and she is willing to teach him too. He realizes she is a simpleton when she gives her first lesson about nobody should live alone. Tsukuyo is also here to apologize. Everything is fine now, right? She hands him a bill for 5 million. That’s the kissing fee. It’s her first kiss, you know! Oh damn! With Akemitsu back, this shocks Mia so much that she faints! As Yuzuki and Tsukuyo bathe, Kurage talks to Akemitsu about her sisters being dumber in the past. She then says being a pervert is also okay because it is only being human. After all, the sisters are daughters of a monk and for that to happen, sex has to occur, right? Heck, she even claims Yuzuki is a closet pervert and that she won’t mind if Akemitsu peeps on her! Seriously!? Just kidding! She was just teasing as this used to be Yuzuki’s job. Like she said, previously she was dumb but she started being perfect and Tsukuyo even maturing a little, it made Kurage sad. She prefers her sisters dumb and that’s why she is grateful for Akemitsu coming here as he made them turn back to their old ways! Gee, is that a compliment?! Dangerous loli… She is going to show him Yuzuki bathing and of course he won’t allow that. But it’s a trap as he traps and accidentally opens the door. Nice naked bodies… I wonder if there is a charge for this… Thankfully, he just got beaten up. While this case is ‘solved’, a new issue crops up. Mia now accuses him of making this temple fall into depravity. Look who is having the high moral ground now?!

Episode 3
Mia challenges Akemitsu to a duel. If she wins, he will be castrated! Guess what?! He is actually okay with it?! Anyway, the challenge is a Japanese sword fight. Is this what foreigners think of Japan? As Mia charges, Akemitsu realizes he doesn’t need a sword to block and will use his own hands. But then, her sarashi starts to come loose. Yup, he grabs those boobs instead! An embarrassed Mia loses and so she will be the one receiving the penalty. Kagura suggests this book of penances. Akemitsu should’ve made it clear he wanted that book instead of Mia’s boobs! Poor girl misinterpret those ambiguous lines and runs away with her face red. That night as he is sleeping, Mia comes to smother him with her boobs. Need to get the job done so as not to be seen as running away. Akemitsu is of course in shock and wonders if this is a dream. It’s not because Kagura is recording it all! Poor Mia runs away again. But this time Kagura sets both of them up and locks them in some room. Mia trying to keep her distance even if Akemitsu is trying to offer a blanket since the night is getting colder. He gets too close and she pushes him away, fearing he will turn her on. Did we hear that right?! Time for flashback. You see, she comes from a line of well-known family. However her parents taught her that the family must be surrounded by hot and sexy people. Being the innocent kid she was, she doesn’t know the deeper meaning and her task of finding 100 lovers made everyone wary of her. Safe to say, she had no friends and it took her some time to realize that implication. Only Kagura was her friend but as we know, she too had lots of screws loose. One day, she suggested going to Japan because this zen Buddhism thingy is the trend. With this nunnery open only to women and her family is not known here, Mia jumped at this chance. All went well until of course Akemitsu came. Back to square one. Mia realizes he is not to blame and she should pack her bags and leave. But WTF he is crying after hearing her ‘pitiful’ story! He too tells his story and she too is in tears. Both agree to help each other out. Cue for Kagura to open and suggest doing this penance the entire night.

Next morning, Yuzuki wonders what Kagura is recording. Yeah, don’t the duo have to make it sound so ambiguous like they’re making out?! Actually they’re playing Twister as penance. Uh huh. Grappling with each other’s body the whole night! I wonder how Yuzuki is going to fare… Okay, not good. Akemitsu gets punished as usual. But soon, no time to fool around as Kiki reminds Yuzuki of her arranged marriage meeting. Akemitsu helps to rush her to take the bus. Yuzuki explains that because the temple has no male head, the girls are supposed to vacate it. Thanks to Kiki, they can stay longer but that too won’t last. Hence this arranged marriage is to assure everyone can continue staying here. Yuzuki claims that she is doing this on her own will. They missed the next bus and even if a kind soul manages to lend them his scooter, it runs out of gas! For some dumb reason, they mistake a truck to be a bus and get on it. Yuzuki is about to lament her fate the temple but Akemitsu won’t be throwing in the towel yet. They’re going to bust out at the next light and borrow this truck. Haven’t you heard? He has got some truck driving skills! Oh dear…

Episode 4
Akemitsu manages to hijack the truck and steps on it. But does he really have to crash it?! Just in time for the marriage meeting. After Yuzuki goes off, a nun forces Akemitsu to work on the temple grounds. Yuzuki sees Hoan Kijo and as the talk begins, she is disheartened to see Akemitsu nearby. Yeah, she’s making her nervous. Worse, the nun claims she is sick and forces Akemitsu to play the matchmaking role on her behalf! Oh damn. At first, Akemitsu seems reliable. But each question he asks and Hoan giving his normal reply, for some perverted reasons, he keeps thinking about sexy Yuzuki. Ah yes. There’s our fanservice. Hoan notes his honesty and this has Yuzuki remember about the teachings that lying is bad. Hence she tells Hoan that she doesn’t intend to get married. Flashback shows Kiki suggesting to pretend to be engaged and then call it off. Yeah, sounded like a scam. Yuzuki furthers explain to Hoan the dire situation her temple is in. WTF Akemitsu trying to commit seppuku to take responsibility for the state of the temple?! Hoan suggests shutting down the temple for the good of everyone. Akemitsu then pleads to him to reconsider. Thus Hoan throws him all sorts of what if questions. Akemitsu will fully support Yuzuki no matter what. The next few lines from Hoan sounds like he is making Akemitsu say marriage vows?! Will you remain with her in sickness and in health?! I DO! And so Hoan agrees to lend his name in this engagement only if they prove to him that they can do all that. Later Hoan talks to that nun who is hinted to be Yuzuki’s mom. She is not pleased since he was supposed to convince her to shut down the temple. He claims she brought an interesting boy, the same reason why she got him involved because she’s curious about him, no? With no train, busses or taxis running this late, I guess the duo will have to stop at… The love hotel?! Akemitsu trying to resist his unholy desires but before he knows it, he books a room already?! Plus, Yuzuki saying things that might aggravate his libido?! Then as he bathes first, she watches porn?! WTF?! Akemitsu deliberates with his angel and demon side. Both want him to get down and dirty with Yuzuki!!! When Yuzuki is done bathing, she sees Akemitsu tied to the S&M contraption. He thinks this will keep her safe from him but apparently she isn’t pleased, blindfolds him and goes to bed. Good luck if he ever needs to go to the toilet…

Episode 5
Yuzuki explains what happened last night to Tsukuyo. Yes, nothing happened at the love hotel. Tsukuyo also warns her not to let their classmates know about Akemitsu living with them. Yuzuki don’t actually see the problem so Tsukuyo had to put her foot down on that. In class, Tsukuyo’s friends are bugging her about her boyfriend. What boyfriend? You know, they one they saw her kissing underneath the bridge! Each time Tsukuyo tries to clarify this, she almost gives away herself. Worse, Akemitsu is here to deliver her forgotten lunch! Instantly she knocks him out and takes him to the infirmary before any damage can be done. But she has to hide him underneath the sheets as her friends come to check on her. Yeah, fanservice time as Akemitsu is forced to huddle close to her. Can’t breathe with those suffocating boobs! Yeah, her friends are worried since she looks so much in pain. But they are also here to ask her about her returning to the archery club in which she declines. After they leave, Akemitsu asks her about this so she claims she is on a break. He wants to do something that will have her resume archery but as she struggles, she falls over him. Then her friends return and see this…

Akemitsu sees Yuzuki doing archery and joins her. After that he goes talk to Tsukuyo. He claims he has done all his chores and hence she is free to resume her archery. However she clears the air that she doesn’t want to do it anymore and continues to dodge the question when he asks more. Then she goes to visit her old club and nostalgia takes over. Playing air archery? Yeah, Akemitsu is here too. Now she really talks about why she isn’t doing it anymore. Apparently Yuzuki was a great archer but had to quit because of her temple commitments. Despite all that, she is just a high school student. She fears she can never do all that her sister can do. Akemitsu then takes Tsukuyo back to watch Yuzuki do archery. In short, she actually sucks big time! But wait. Tsukuyo sees her as being cool?! Then everyone reveals the true facts about Yuzuki being a dud in archery (and sucking at everything else too!). Kurage went further to explain that Tsukuyo’s excessive love for Yuzuki blinded her reality. More importantly, Yuzuki is not under stress and is having fun every day. Yuzuki hopes Tsukuyo is free to choose what she wants to do and sometimes coach her on archery. Later Tsukuyo talks to Akemitsu that she has decided to return to archery and thanks him for it. But that hickey mark he left on her boobs is there. How to take responsibility? Don’t want to increase his debt, huh? She trolls us all that she is going to kiss him but just writes a big pervy word on his forehead. Now they’re even. Tsukuyo returns to her club. Her friends tease her when Akemitsu comes to deliver her lunch. She claims he isn’t her boyfriend but family. Poor friends, they’re so confused!

Episode 6
It’s every girl’s nightmare. Yup, Yuzuki steps on the weighing scale and… Now she calls an emergency meeting with the other girls and claims the scale is cursed! Because a higher value is displayed! They noticed this has been happening since Akemitsu moved in. Must be those delicious meals. Now they brainstorm on what to do. The most viable solution is to exercise. Besides pilates giving us good fanservice, this tires the girls out so it’s no good. The only other option is dieting but they don’t want Akemitsu to find out. Kurage then points out she likes his cooking and is willing to trade her family member for it. Hence she wants Tsukuyo to marry Akemitsu since Yuzuki is already engaged. Tsukuyo then suggests Kurage to marry him herself. Why, she never thought of that! She’ll go flirt with him now! Stop her! In the end, Akemitsu cooks very delicious Japanese sweets. Can’t resist… And so the scale is put out of order. Yeah, for everyone’s sanity… One day, Akemitsu sees Yuzuki with an axe and thinks she is going to execute him! He tries to feed her with delicious food but no reaction and she’s looking annoyed. Then he finds out from Kiki that she is under training to become a priesthood. Yeah, Yuzuki just failed in her teizu training (prostrating for 2 days?!) since she only held out for 2 hours. Part of that training is chopping firewood (not your execution, Akemitsu) and not making a sound during eating. At this rate, she is too clumsy to even become a priest. Since Akemitsu looks like he wants to join her, Kiki allows it. Mia too. Of course Kiki forgot to explain the tokudo part. The steps need to be undertaken to become a priest. This means Akemitsu is not a priest and just a guy living in the temple grounds! Shock! A miracle for him to keep his sanity while staying with sexy chicks. Akemitsu notes Yuzuki has made a lot of progress but Kiki claims she has done even more. Usually a student undergoing tokudo will study for 1 year before undergoing it but Yuzuki is attempting it in 6 months. Remember, she has school life to juggle. And so Akemitsu and Mia will also undergo tokudo with Yuzuki together. But soon Hoan visits. Akemitsu is overthinking he is trying to get his way with Yuzuki. Now of all times? Well, aside of wanting to see her temple comrades, he has serious business. Why is Kiki acting hostile and like a delinquent to Hoan? Anyway, after hearing Yuzuki isn’t a priest yet, Hoan wants Yuzuki to become a priest in 3 months or the engagement is off.

Episode 7
The training begins. The gang wonders if Kiki is serious because she’s asking what colour pantsu they’re wearing. It has to be white because that symbolizes purity, right? And since none of them have that colour, they’re going commando. Better hold those dirty thoughts. First up is this zazen mediation. No dirty thoughts now. Could’ve been a breeze had not Akemitsu’s mind starts wandering when he hears the girls giving out sexy moans. Next is writing calligraphy. As Akemitsu has experience and his writing is good, he is to coach Yuzuki. But the thought of her boobs being close to him causes him to spill his ink on his crotch. Mia wants to wipe it?! Fail. Then the trio have to sleep together as part of the training. Obviously, dirty thoughts get in the way. Flashback shows Kiki asked Hoan about this rush. He told her that in 3 months, there will be sect meeting at this temple. As it was a decision made by the higher ups, he hoped his engagement will not be for nothing. The trainees obviously didn’t sleep a wink as Kiki changes the training regimen to have them go into the sauna together. This would’ve obviously build some resistance to the opposite sex but of course, dirty thoughts get in the way as usual. They try to distract themselves talking other topics. So WTF Mia discovers she has a fetish for Adam’s apple?! Yuzuki tries to hide all those that has been bugging her by claiming she has no worldly thoughts. She also can’t say that she feels a bit jealous seeing Akemitsu and Mia getting closer to each other.

Kiki has them take a short break from training. As Christmas Eve is approaching, this makes Akemitsu sad. Why? On this day his father would try to share his time with his lovers. Safe to say, it’s a bloodbath and poor Akemitsu got traumatized from all the fighting. Yuzuki suggests they go out together on that day so Akemitsu can pick a present. Looks like he is having a swell time. Then they hit a Buddhist specialty store to look at the beads on sale as a formal one is required in important occasions including their tokudo. Mari is the store owner and Yuzuki’s friend so she recommends a few including those for marriage. She is under assumption they are dating. Only then Yuzuki realizes this misunderstanding. But Akemitsu has found the present he needs and since Yuzuki is glad for him, he realizes she was trying to cheer him up. Back home, the girls discuss how the year has gone by and they’ve changed so much. Other than the girls getting sexier, the biggest change is of course the arrival of Akemitsu. It seemed like a distant memory that they once ganged up to kick him out but now nobody wants him to leave. However later we see Kagura’s true colours. She still finds Akemitsu a nuisance and will stamp him out.

Episode 8
It’s a temple. So why are they celebrating Christmas?! After dinner, the gift exchange session is randomized. While Kurage gets Tsukyuo’s mittens, Tsukuyo gets Yuzuki’s kokeshi which is actually a vibrator! Yuzuki gets Kurage’s marriage registration letter! If only Akemitsu got that! The rest got their own presents. Gee, Akemitsu was going to pawn his own organ?! Yeah, that has got to be worth at least 5 million! Anyway, Kagura wants to exchange gifts with him. A CD of sexy pics of Mia?! Just kidding. She’s got a hotspring ticket for everyone. Later Yuzuki and Akemitsu make their prayers, Yuzuki is grateful he came because nobody has smiled like this ever since dad left the family and mom went to the head temple. Then they personally exchange gifts and are surprised to find the same prayer beads recommended by Mari. Nice mood ruined with Kiki coming in with a big news. With the sect meeting attending by bigwigs, this means a temple inspection is in order. This they have to find a way to repair their principal figure! No money! Yeah, don’t waste time cracking their heads on that because they all head down to the hotspring to enjoy first. So this worldly desire is acceptable? Anyway, you can tell Kagura has definitely threatened the staffs for the stay. Akemitsu gets a different treatment as he is given a welcome drink, not knowing it is an aphrodisiac. Now enjoy the fanservice of the girls in bath and your obligatory boobs groping session. Is this all part of enlightenment?! Akemitsu is in a pinch, he didn’t realize the bath is a mixed area and his dick is full hard on! He needs to get away but Kagura spots him. Dead. But she ignores him. Actually, she hints to the other girls what they will do if he is caught peeping. They’ll beat him up of course! However, they will also talk to him because they believe there must be some sort of reason. This makes Akemitsu feel like a fool for not trusting them. So he goes to make himself known? Yeah, that dick must have scared them! In the end, they mostly forgive him.

The rest return to the temple but Kagura wants to stick around. Mia too. Kagura forces Akemitsu to also stay. Then in the bath, she tries to seduce him. Big boy tries to resist and even hits his own crotch. Kagura is at a loss. She reveals she is the one behind all the pranks and now her seduction doesn’t even work on him. Why is she so adamant in kicking him out? It seems if he is in the way, her plans of making Mia an erotic queen will not materialize. She wants Mia to have sex with 100 men?! Akemitsu doesn’t get it. Mia is against this plan and if Kagura is too, why is she assisting Mia’s family in achieving this? At this point, Mia sees them so close and gets embarrassed. But she thinks of joining in? Kagura hypnotizes both of them out. Later Kagura explains that she is from a family that serves Mia’s family from behind the shadows. She cannot disobey that order. However Akemitsu believes it is not too late to join Mia and fight back. Kagura then asks the reason why he is working at the temple. Sure, to clear his debts but what happens when that is done. And since he is here to also defeat his desires that plagued his family, he is just like Mia who ran away from home. Kagura makes a suggestion that she will take on all his debt and even pay for the principal figure’s repair. In exchange, he must move out. This is the easiest way to save the temple. What say you?

Episode 9
The gang pounds mochi for New Year. But does Kurage have to really tell it in a dirty fashion?! Because of that, it makes Akemitsu conscious. Yeah, these girls have soft ‘mochi’ too! Worse, the girls soon come back dressed as Playboy bunnies! Apparently this is real?! Well, when Kagura says it is… More fanservice shenanigans of pounding the mochi until Yuzuki gets back and she’s not pleased with everything. Of course we learn all this is part of Kagura’s lie and Akemitsu is now certain that she really wants to kick him out. That night, Kiki talks to Akemitsu about Yuzuki’s tokudo ceremony is coming up soon. Once she becomes the head of the temple, it is all up to Akemitsu if he wants to carry on his alone or leave. Of course she notes Yuzuki would be happy if he would stay with her. Also, when Yuzuki becomes the head, Kiki will have to leave for her own family temple. During New Year, Akemitsu and the girls visit the shrine. Tsukuyo trying to give hints to Akemitsu to compliment her kimono but he doesn’t get it until she points it out. And when he spams how cute she is, she gets embarrassed. Can’t understand girls! Then he also tries to do the same to the rest but they impart some lesson on how to compliment a woman’s beauty. Tough being a man and woman, eh?

We see Kagura praying at the shrine as she tells us once more it is her duty to guide Mia to become an erotic queen. When she first met Mia, she was rebellious and against her family wishes. This stumped Kagura because it would’ve been so much easier to follow their directive. So she talked to the head and suggested to bring Mia to Japan and live in a nunnery. As part of her reverse psychology, the lack of men may have Mia craving for more. The idea was acceptable but Kagura was given a task that Mia must sleep with 100 men in Japan. Hence she is to record that conquest and send evidence back every 3 days. Hence Kagura has disguised herself as several men to send those fake photos back. Until Akemitsu came into her life and he made Mia more cheerful. Akemitsu confronts Kagura. He has his answer. The best solution is to leave but he will not. So how will he pay? Well, things will work out somehow! Plus, he promised to be with Yuzuki. Kagura seems okay with this and would have accepted this until he notes about being able to keep his promise to Mia. This makes Kagura mad because she believes he is in love with Yuzuki. Mia is truly in love with him but it is only one sided. Because of that, she may be deeply wounded and won’t recover. She scoffs at him to not talk as if she knows Mia. WTF Akemitsu laughing? Because he has never seen Kagura mad! She says she’s not mad! She is! He believes she isn’t betraying Mia because they seem genuinely happy together. Plus, she acted because she cared deeply about her. To shut him up, Kagura kicks him in the crotch! She returns to the rest who are talking about ways to make fast money. Mia believes in Kagura that she can find the best solution. Well, just doing her job.

Episode 10
Mia realizes by just mentioning Kagura’s name, Akemitsu shrivels in fear. WTF her conclusion is for them to make out?! Kagura tells a white lie that Akemitsu is a nice guy. This has the simpletons think everything is okay. And then Mia locks them both in the shed to make out. WTF. Kagura thinks of seducing him because the moment he attacks her, he’ll be kicked out. But he is keeping his distance and then it hit her. She will make Akemitsu fall for Mia and bring him back to her family. Thus she wants to be friends with him. Tsukuyo dreams of making out with Akemitsu. But when she wakes up, she is clinging onto Kurage. Obviously she has to bribe her to keep this embarrassment a secret. But soon Tsukuyo realizes Mia has been very close to Akemitsu lately. Would you like to know? Kagura shows them a footage of them having sex! Actually, it’s that Twister game in the shed. Obviously Tsukuyo jumps to the wrong conclusions. Hence Tsukuyo brings in Mia for interrogation. She asks directly if she loves Akemitsu. She denies anything of that sort. If they are close only because they are the same training partners so it makes sense. However Mia continues to claim Akemitsu is the most handsome guy and would like to marry him since she is always turned on by him. Punishment time. Tsukuyo gets embarrassed and even more so when Kagura points out she is jealous. The tsundere denies having feelings for him. Speak of the devil, here he comes. WTF Mia now in S&M bondage?! Then Kurage somehow has Kagura’s camera. Tsukuyo is too late to stop her from watching the unholy act. But Kurage can tell it is a game they’re playing. Tsukuyo is embarrassed and once more has to bribe her to keep things quiet. But soon an emergency. We’re out of rice! Don’t worry, Yuzuki will go around asking for tributes. She brings Akemitsu and Mia along as he talks about fate. Everything happens for a reason. Too bad all they visit, nobody gives them any rice. Giving excuses or laughing at their pathetic act. But their last stop is an injured lady who is waiting for them. She knows Yuzuki and has already prepared her tributes. Her children are naughty and love boobs?! Akemitsu talks to her as she notes how Tsukina (Tsukuyo’s mom) was around and collecting tributes, nobody dared defied her. She was tough but everyone felt safe. It is unknown why she left and is rumoured to be at the main temple. In the end, the gang is prepared to ship loads of rice barrels. Akemitsu remembers this is the first time he met Yuzuki and yes, all about fate. He hopes to support her but looks like she doesn’t need help and carries all the barrels home by herself!

Episode 11
Akemitsu really wants to help Yuzuki. He needs to find a part time job but it looks like a requirement is a contact. He doesn’t have a phone of his own and he can’t burden the temple. So he goes to see Yuzuki to borrow her phone. But what’s this? Yuzuki in maid outfit?! If I were him, I’d give into my desires right now!!! HAHAHA!!! Anyway… After he manages to survive all the lewd imaginations from her suggestive poses, he tells her his intentions. However she shoots it down and wants him to concentrate on training rather than working. Yuzuki further adds this is her burden alone. So she wants to be like her mom who did everything herself? She sounds even more impossible when she claims she wants to double her work shifts. When she is already this tired? She claims she is not. Until Akemitsu points out her clothes, she gets embarrassed?! She did not realize she was wearing this?! It seems her friends suggested her this maid café work and lent her a dress. She tried it on last night but fell asleep?! Both soon start arguing about Yuzuki’s tiredness. Yuzuki then dares him to massage her. Oh my. See where this is going? We all know he has godly hands and fingers, right? Yuzuki, be prepared to be orgasmed! And as you would expect, such strange ambiguous noises as Tsukuyo hears from outside. She barges in only to see them now in wrestling position? Yuzuki continues to fall asleep midway through their argument. When she claims it is all eventually none of his business, that is when Akemitsu says he’ll do as he please. This means asking Tsukuyo out on a date tomorrow! Wait. WHAT?! And because of that, Tsukuyo has a strange dream of Akemitsu marrying her and then consummating! She wakes up from it, head butting poor Kurage across the room! This is going to be costly… As she dolls herself up and wondering when he fell for her, she realizes she is just overthinking when he shows up in his usual temple clothes. Yup. Just overthinking. Relieved or disappointed? Until he compliments how beautiful she looks. She accompanies him to go buy a phone. She is totally embarrassed since everybody else is getting the wrong idea they are dating. She keeps reminding herself she is just overthinking. But her heart is so confused since he also treats her very nice. He exchanges his first contacts with her. No deeper meaning. Since he doesn’t clearly say why he bought a handphone, once again her mind starts to drift about some midnight sex. You sure it’s about that? Indeed, she gets a text from him but it’s to thank her for today. Then another strange dream of Akemitsu dumping her for another woman. This time Kurage comes prepared with a concrete! OUCH! The most painful wakeup call…

Episode 12
Yuzuki thinks Akemitsu is mad since he hasn’t talk to her since. She thinks of apologizing until she sees him happily returning from his date with Tsukuyo. Why must she run away? Ah… Even Kiki knows something is wrong and talks to Akemitsu about it. But after all that great advice, when Kurage mentions somebody is leaving the temple, Kiki goes into overdrive mode to extort money for that departure! Too late, Yuzuki has already seen them off (they wanted to change the place of their family grave since this temple is inconvenient) and without taking any money! As they also noted they don’t trust this temple anymore, Yuzuki takes this upon herself to work harder. However Kiki tells her she won’t train her anymore. Why? Figure it out yourself. I hope she didn’t have a grudge on that money issue… Yuzuki tries to put up a fake happy front to assure everything is still alright. Then everyone gets distracted with Tsukuyo having Akemitsu’s contact. We want it too! As Akemitsu begs to Kiki to reconsider, he soon receives a distress call from Tsukuyo that Yuzuki is missing. Oh my. Where to start looking? Obviously she has fallen into depression. She remembers mom suddenly telling the sisters to move out because the temple is done for. But when Yuzuki claimed she will take over it, mom brushed it off because she cannot save it. That is why Yuzuki has always been trying to work hard so she could be that perfect person mom thinks.

Akemitsu finds her under the bridge. Yeah, the same homeless spot he was. He realizes she has been trying to be strong and although she is stronger than him, she is actually quite frail. He gives her a big hug. Yuzuki is back in her own bed as Akemitsu talks about her telling him not to live alone. He once thought of that but she tore that idea down. Yuzuki continues to blame herself as not good enough but Akemitsu denies. She has done a lot and because he also loves this temple as much, he wants to help her. He wants to be involved in her life! Could he have phrased that any better? Now she remembers the reason she stayed because she loved this temple. It was that simple. The other girls have heard and barge in. They scold her for making them worried and also assure that they want to help because they too love this temple. They then tease her for being left out since everyone here already has Akemitsu’s contacts! Yuzuki then talks to Kiki and now knows the reason. It’s because she lost sight of what’s important. Hence she panicked and worried on what others would think about her. She wants to return to training and Kiki agrees after she returns back to health. Later Yuzuki talks to Akemitsu. She is giving up looking for part time jobs and will continue to ask supports for donations. It is tougher but it is still better than sacrificing herself because that won’t do anything any good. They will all protect this temple together. Life returns to normal and this includes Akemitsu getting into ecchi situations with the girls. Be gone, worldly desires! I think this is going to take a while…

Special 1
Well, what do you know? Akemitsu and Yuzuki wake up one morning to find themselves they have switched bodies! Oh Yuzuki, didn’t know his dick was this big, huh? Oh Akemitsu, you should know Yuzuki’s boobs are this big! Then when Kurage comes in wanting to seduce Akemitsu (Yuzuki) with her loli body, turns out this is actually Kagura! As revealed, she got a shady potion to turn Mia into a pervert but look what happened. Now we see Mia recording herself in sexy lingerie and poses! Yeow! But Yuzuki and Kagura aren’t surprised and they know this is Kurage. Yeah, never had such voluptuous body before. Then they heard a scream. Well, it’s not from Akemitsu trying to change himself blindfolded! Rather, Kiki licking Kagura? Oh, the cat is now Kiki and Tsukuyo is now Kagura. And of course Kiki is now Nyagosuke. And by deduction, Kurage is in Tsukuyo’s body. Soon, everyone reverts back. Noticing that Akemitsu is not with them and that he was in Yuzuki’s body, they go into her room only to find her tied up BDSM style?! How the f*ck was he thinking he could change clothes this way?!

Special 2
Oh my. Akemitsu marrying Yuzuki at the altar with Kiki as the priest? As he is about to kiss her, turns out to be Hoan?! WTF?! He and his goons try to attack and close the temple but here is Kagura in a sexy spy catsuit to save the day as she takes Akemitsu and run. They end up on the moon? Then as she tries to have sex with him and strips, he falls off into the ocean. Mermaid Tsukuyo saves and brings him to shore. Oh, now she wants sex too?! Yeah, those fish fins must be fake as she strips naked! But then a quicksand swallows him and now he finds himself in a love hotel with Kurage. Oh, she too gets naked as her body transforms into a busty version to get down and dirty. Before that could happen, Mia barges in and tries to kill him with a samurai sword. He runs but now bumps into Kiki. Yes, it’s her turn to strip to f*ck him. But he gets caught and tied up in a love hotel. Mia and Kagura are going to do BDSM stuffs to him. Sexy nurse Yuzuki won’t allow it and just like that, everybody ends up in the bath. All the girls use their skin and body to rub on him. The only thing getting dirtier from all this cleaning is the mind! Clear your thoughts! Suddenly vines appear from the bath to grab all of them! Tentacle rape scene! Even Akemitsu gets that treatment! With his crotch exposed, the girls are not impressed so Kagura kicks it! OUCH!!! And as I have expected, all this silly nonsense is a dream because Akemitsu has fallen ill and all the girls are worried what kind of dream he is having. Because he looks like having fun… In fact, the girls agree to keep this a secret as all of them are guilty of wiping sweat from every inch of his body and let’s say some of his body parts reacted in a healthy way. I can see why Akemitsu’s goal of abandoning his worldly desires is still a pipe dream…

The Body Is A Temple For The Ecchi Soul
Will shows like this get another season? No, not DVD specials or unaired episodes, but another season? Your guess is as good as mine. After desecrating the holiness of the theme, unless you want more heads to roll, go ahead, be my guest and continue. Because all of us are corrupted anyway so it won’t make any difference. No sequel? No problem. We’ll just find another ecchi series filled with godly fanservice to satiate our worldly desires! Yeah. Nobody can live on without hentai! It’s our enlightenment to the world! Oh sorry, escapism. Don’t you hold me to all that! I made that all up!

I don’t see there is any actual plot for this series. Of course it doesn’t. We’re all here for the fanservice, right?! Whether it is about Akemitsu trying to get over his earthly desires and lust or Yuzuki being engaged to Hoan so that she became the next head of the temple, that is all just a setting so that we can have more temple shenanigans AKA fanservice. It felt all of that didn’t really matter as long as each episode sees Akemitsu getting into some sort of unwitting lewd situations with the girls. To think they used the Buddhist temple and religion as theme for this anime, I wonder how many religious zealots are mad. Not that I care. But yeah, to desecrate such a holy theme, they might as well do away with the temple thingy and convert this place of worship into some sort of sorority or hostel! That would make a lot of sense but not so much in the context of this anime.

So are we happy with the level of fanservice offered here? It all depends. Newbies may find it too much to handle while veterans who have seen way more would find this quite mild. I mean, when you compare this to a certain healer anime and a certain immoral guild anime, this one looks like a baby. Personally, I feel they are pretty standard and don’t break any new grounds. Sorry people, no bare tits and I don’t even think there’s an uncensored version or director’s cut of it. Use your imagination, people! It only feels very risqué because they are using a temple theme. Otherwise, all the panty shots, boob shots, suggestive sexy poses and naughty bits are pretty much standard affair. All within expectations. To think that there are 5 hot young lovely babes staying at this temple and so much fanservice is given within that short amount of time, even the staunchest Buddhist believers will immediately be corrupted and return to the sins of the flesh! Adding more fanservice value is how the mid-intermission has some strange suggestive sayings. For example, “No one who walks stealthily is up to any good” or “A trick up the sleeve”. While it might sound pretty normal, however such sayings are accompanied with sleazy and suggestive pictures. Is your mind and libido confused now? And then there is the next episode preview which is actually about the girls talking very suggestively. Are you ready to ditch your holy life now and return to being an immoral person?!

Character wise, what else is there more to say especially when the series is mostly about fanservice? So yes, Akemitsu as your typical male character in a fanservice-cum-harem genre, usual script says that he has to accidentally stumble into fanservice-y situations because life is so much more exciting that way. It’s like the gods are cruel enough to play such pranks and test his limits to see how far his resistance can go. Heh. It is understandable he wants to clear his family name over his dad’s past sexual atrocities and legendary status as some immoral lecher. But I guess it runs deep in the family’s blood. You see, each time Akemitsu gets ‘tested’, he starts to bleed a huge amount of blood. It is amazing that he hasn’t died of blood loss at this rate. If not, the girls in pretty suggestive poses will have his inner thoughts and demons straying to the naughty side. And to wake himself up from depravation, punches himself. Another round of bleeding. Rinse and repeat cycle. Heck, it happens in every episode so you have to ask if this is really working for Akemitsu.

This is both good and bad. Because it proves that Akemitsu is a young healthy man and getting turned on by such buxom babes shows he isn’t gay! However it also means all his training amounts to nothing since he still gets turned on by the slightest sexy. I don’t expect him to turn into a holy monk overnight or within a few months, but at this rate, nothing has changed. But what if that really happens? A serious Akemitsu with no more earthly desires is such a boring person! He isn’t a human anymore! Alas as such, Akemitsu is still a good natured person and is willing to help the girls in any way he can. Also, he has a debt to clear off. So stay as you are for now, Akemitsu. The girls need you. Also to cook, to clean… Such a useful guy…

As for the girls living at the temple, it’s wrong for me to say this but I get a feeling they only exist to provide Akemitsu all the sexy fanservice! HAHAHA!!! Not accurate but you get what I mean. Each with their own quirky personalities so that we can have a variety of funny fanservice and be entertained by their antics. Like Yuzuki who is perhaps having the most erotic body among the ladies, she tries to play the big sister and shouldering the heaviest responsibility. However they also make her a little dumb for, wait for it, fanservice shenanigans. What else, right? She’s trying to shoulder a huge responsibility to take over the temple. It remains a mystery why mom disapproved of her but eventually relented. Otherwise, Yuzuki and the girls wouldn’t be staying here, right? I feel Kiki may have intervened but whatever. So the important is that Yuzuki shouldn’t try to live up to her mom’s expectations but do what she can. As long as she loves this temple, it shouldn’t be hard to keep things running. Well of course, still need the money. I’m sure Buddha isn’t going to drop a stack of cold hard cash before the temple’s doorstep, would he?!

Initially the 2 girls who hated Akemitsu at first have now become the frontrunners in being his girlfriend. How the tides have turned. Tsukuyo has been received a lot of mixed and confusing signals from him but that is mainly because of her doing lots of unnecessary overthinking. So it also proves she is also dirty minded, right? Mia being another dumb blonde second only to Yuzuki, she doesn’t view Akemitsu as a romantic interest but rather a training partner. However with her twisted upbringing, she is portrayed as some of a psycho slut. Yes, another excuse for dumb fanservice antics.

Then there is Kurage who is most honest when it comes to all matters including naughty bits. She doesn’t hide the fact that she wants to get intimate with Akemitsu but unfortunately in order to not turn us all (including viewers) into some sort of criminal (because damn she’s underage!), that is why she is not taken seriously and no sexy fanservice shenanigans on her. Plus, her monotonous expressionless face reminds me of Renge from Non Non Biyori (but not as charming!) as she can only wait till she grows up if she is really serious on her feelings for Akemitsu.

Lastly, the most devious girl among the pack, Kagura. She might troll us all with her ditzy and dreamy outlook but she is quite scheming. She is the only one who doesn’t harbour any sort of interest in Akemitsu but I predict all that might change the more she tries to get things her way and only to backfire because we all know of his tenacity. Then she’ll be all head over heels for him. Heh. Such lofty delusions. But for now, she is like the silent troublemaker but only for Mia. She’s like the puppet master trying to pull the strings and turn Mia into a queen of slut and dumb Mia is just following through. Could’ve worked out smoothly had not been for that meddling Akemitsu!

Not forgetting Kiki, she’s currently the caretaker of the temple. It’s like she is needed because for adult supervision. In the loosest context. Otherwise it will be deemed suspicious if a bunch of teens are staying in a temple. So yes, she’s got the body too and sometimes boldly teases Akemitsu with it. But rest assured, it’s not for any serious romantic purposes. Certainly she deserves better than Akemitsu, right?! Nyagosuke feels a lot neglected and forgettable. Little kitty is supposed to be the pet mascot of the series but its presence is negligible (often sticking with Kurage). Animal cuteness shall not overshadow the human fanservice!

The art and animation are just average. I have to admit that some scenes look pretty simplistic like those whenever Akemitsu goes into shock or stunned expression. However with the fanservice shenanigans in our faces, we overlook this department. Not to say the fanservice animation quality is best in the world but it is decent (oh the irony) to divert our attention from the average animation quality. This anime is done by Gekkou, a relatively new studio whose only other works at this point is Isekai One Turn Kill Neesan.

Voice acting is also average as I only recognized Jun Fukuyama as Hoan. I didn’t realize it until much later because Yuzuki’s mom is voiced by Kana Asumi?! Not her trademark voice (she’s in a much lower voice) and she doesn’t have much lines (obviously) but the credits indeed listed her. The rest of the other casts are Masayuki Akasaka as Akemitsu (Kibe in Kanojo Okarishimasu), Aimi as Yuzuki (Kasumi in BanG Dream), Yuu Serizawa as Tsukuyo (Yumemi in Kakegurui), Madoka Asahina as Mia (Kominami in Boku-tachi Wa Benkyou Ga Dekinai), Sumire Uesaka as Kagura (Sanae in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai), Nanami Yamashita as Kurage (Sue in Isekai Wa Smartphone To Tomo Ni) and Chiaki Takahashi as Kiki (Nanami in School Days). Heck, even the very minimal appearing Nyagosuke has got its own seiyuu, Chika Anzai (titular character in Hitsugi No Chaika).

The opening theme is Bonnou Paradise by Aimi. It’s a rock piece but personally I feel it is chaotic and frenzy all over the place. Don’t worry, fanservice shenanigans in the credits should distract you. There are a few ending themes. The main one being Itsuka Wa Mangetsu No You Ni by the Aoba sisters trio. Another rock outfit. Once more, get distracted by all the girls in sexy outfit or lingerie and feel free to ignore the song. Feeling corrupted yet? Then there is Culturegap Temptation by the duet Mia and Kagura. More like a lively denpa song but sorry, no delicious fanservice here. Just the boring animation of the characters running and running and running… fanservice here. No wonder it’s so boring. Finally there is Oidemase Mikazukidera by the temple’s lovely quintet babes. Another lively denpa song (is it me that all these songs sound somewhat the same?). And sorry too, no juicy fanservice. So boring. GIVE ME MAH FANSERVICE!

Overall, you watch this series for the nonsensical fanservice and nothing else. This series aimed to do that and only that. If a certain healer anime is too controversial and a certain isekai dungeon anime is too boring, this one fits right in between although it is just like many other similar animes in the genre. Plot and character development here are not important as long as the girls get to show their lewd side and satiate our horny libido. There is all there is to it. No need to crack your brains for anything deeper because it is just us as typical humans to crave for earthly desires. It is as such that makes us human. And of course, this show doesn’t intend to convert people into this religion although anime doesn’t give a f*ck on what it desecrates or makes fun of. Yeah, would you be surprised there are way more extreme hentai than this in this theme? (Bible Black comes to mind…). But I have to disagree and can disprove about this series’ second title that no one can live on loneliness. Look at me. I’m your biggest example! :’(. Oh sorry, ecchi animes like these keep me company at lonely times. But still lonely as f*ck. :’(

Boku No Marie

8 December, 2023

After my weird and short stint with I Dream Of Mimi, that series recommended me to another weird retro OVA, Boku No Marie. This one isn’t technically a computer girl but an android girl. Oh never mind, they’re generally the same thing because they’re so life-like and anime kawaii, right? But instead of our titular character being bought in some dark alley from a shady person, this one was created out of a home lab by some nerdy genius kid. Dexter’s Laboratory this isn’t but yeah, back in 1996 when robot sex dolls were just a pipedream, the only way for a nerd who can’t get a girlfriend is to make one himself!

Episode 1
Nerdy mad scientist AKA Hiroshi Karigari is just steps away from creating his perfect android girl. Despite being in the tennis club of his university, he doesn’t actively take part in its activities. Well, he has set up various cameras around the perimeter so that with all the pictures he took of the girl he is crushing on, Marie, he can create a 360 degrees image of her in which this android girl is supposed to be. Legal or not but it’s freaking weird! So to complete his masterpiece, he is trying to figure getting women’s underwear without looking suspicious?! Can’t just waltz into a lingerie shop like that, huh? Stealing is no go too. Ah, the safest method: Order via mail! And so his masterpiece is now complete. Next morning, he gets a rude awakening when this android girl also named Marie is now awake! Strange. He did not switch her on. She claims it was bad to put her on standby or recharging mode for too long. Plus, it seems she already went out of the house and nobody could tell the difference. Of course that won’t do for him so he forbids her to leave the house. After he goes to college, she realizes he forgot his tennis racquet. She goes to deliver it and it was one of the strangest moments when both Maries have their eyes met! Who are you?! You look exactly like me! Hiroshi manages to smooth this over and claims this is his sister. Yeah, she was born yesterday! Luckily the rest took it as her birthday was yesterday. Tennis club manager, Tanaka has this idea since android Marie wants to play tennis with human Marie. The loser will date the winner’s partner. This means if human Marie loses, she’ll date Hiroshi and if android Marie loses, she’ll date Tanaka. Basically a win-win for the guys? So as it starts, android Marie just standing there. Uhm, not in her programme on how to play Tennis? Android Marie remembers her counterpart telling and hinting that she likes Hiroshi. She also notices he is always starring at her but help can’t wonder if that is because she resembles her sister. With that, android Marie is going to have her onii-chan date Marie as she ups her game and suddenly becomes a pro and put all Wimbledon champs to shame!

So yeah, on the day Hiroshi goes out on a date with his true crush, android Marie is worried since he looks so anxious and clumsy. She tries to follow but apparently Tanaka tries to get lucky with her. Trying to drive her to a love hotel? Well, she hijacks his car to crash it before leaving on foot. WTF?! I suppose Marie doesn’t have GPS tracking so she doesn’t know where Hiroshi is. But along the way, she sees a couple of stubborn kids trying to cross the rail and the train is coming. She uses her super speed to jump in and throw them out. But to avoid being hit herself she has to jump and ride the train. Now she’s riding to somewhere else. Uhm, can’t she just jump off? Then she is further delayed when she also has to help out a nearby building that is on fire and there are some trapped residents. In the end, Marie is close to overheating. Then this weird part in which she is in the midst of that, the electrical waves somehow transmit via the staircase rails and short circuits his PDA. It’s like Hiroshi understands what is happening so he abandons his date for his android. WTF?! While Marie is happy and hugs her, she also warns that dumping his date may make her mad and she might not date him again. Too late to be thinking about this, right?! Yeah, they both don’t seem worried about it. And so the siblings have a nice bowl of ramen together.

Episode 2
Hibiki Kennou makes her money by tricking horny men. On pretence of wanting to have sex, she gives them the slip after stealing their money right before they know it. One day while she is beating up the toughest group of delinquents to protect her female friends, she is about to further punish the boss when android Marie sees this and stops her. Hibiki is stumped that Marie is stronger than her. When she tries to counterattack, Marie flawlessly dodges. Wow, she did a move that only robots can do, huh? Marie runs away. Later on as Hibiki continues to beat up delinquents and take their money, once again Marie spots this to tell her off. Luckily Hiroshi is here to stop before things get ugly. It is then Hibiki starts to fall for this weakling?! Oh look, he dropped his student ID. Back home, Hibiki asks her friends about this dilemma she is facing. They point out she is in love but she gets mad and kicks them out. Don’t want to face reality? Well, returning his ID might be a good excuse to go see him. So there he is at his university. She gets love struck upon seeing him that she trips and he catches her. She gets embarrassed and punches him before running away. Well, the ID is still with her. She tries again to visit his home but sees the unbelievable as Hiroshi is tinkering and maintaining his android. When Hiroshi finds out about this, he begs to her to keep this a secret. Okay. But on one condition. He must date her. Uhm, what?!

At the end of the date, she brings him back to her home where she drugs him! OMFG! Seriously?! Because she wants to take his virginity! Sneaky but WTF?! But she gets embarrassed and slaps him conscious. Uhm, WTF?! Take out your thing and let’s get over with it?! HUH?! He tries to run away but she won’t let him. Luckily Marie is here. Apparently Hibiki scribbled her pager number on his ID but how the f*ck could Marie traced it to her home?! Hibiki threatens to tell her secret but Marie dares her. So why is Hibiki so obsessed with Hiroshi? Hibiki admits she loves him. That was quick. And that’s the end of this weird jaunt. But next day, Hibiki isn’t done with this. When she sees both Maries looking similar, she puts the puzzle pieces together and believes the android is created in the image of the girl he likes. So she kidnaps him to beat him up?! WTF is wrong with this brute?! Marie after realizing he is missing, now knows where to find him since she placed a tracker in his glasses. So now it is going to be Marie vs Hibiki. Obviously the android is going to be better, right? Well, Hibiki can still stand her ground. Hibiki trying to employ some psychological tactic that Hiroshi will never love her since she is an android. This causes Marie to grow weak and Hibiki to take advantage. Hiroshi stops this farce by saying his loves Hibiki (because he can’t stop thinking of her?) but not now because she hurt Marie. When Marie recovers and defeats Hibiki, it is then Hiroshi remembers a young girl whom he often played at his home. That’s Hibiki, right? And then she too remembers him! How convenient! And just like that, she runs away. Hibiki is never seen for quite a while until one night she returns. She reveals why she hated him. They were always on good terms until one day playing in their inflatable pool, he pushed her away and put on the scariest face. So when Hibiki’s family moved, she thought it was a good thing never to see this jerk again. However Hiroshi doesn’t remember this. Hibiki gives her blessing to Marie. He is all yours. But then Hibiki further remembers the truth. Back then, a dog was going to attack them and Hiroshi protected her. Yeah, that bite mark still on his arm! Finally she can make her peace and move on.

Episode 3
Human Marie talks to her android counterpart about the weird dream she had. Something about switching with her exact twin to take some exam she didn’t study. Obviously the android doesn’t understand since she doesn’t even dream in the first place. So she goes back to bug Hiroshi about it and thus he installs some dreaming programme in her. WTF this ideal dream of his being a macho man protecting his perfect sister?! Cringe! No wonder Marie is not impressed and still thinks human Marie’s version is more interesting! Well, Hiroshi claims this is just an example so please, go dream on your own now. Marie goes to sleep and soon her dream starts. Yeah, she’s hoping of electric sheep?! OMFG! Well, none of that… As the dream begins, a tennis ball comes to life and laments how Marie is human because as a tool, it can’t dream or do stuffs. When Marie denies, this offends the little ball and it becomes mad. Marie then gets scared seeing her own robot hand. Next thing she knows, she is in a lab with Hiroshi making a tennis ball. Then she is free falling from the sky? Weird. She wakes up to tell Hiroshi about it but I guess he prefers to continue sleeping. So Marie goes back dreaming. This time she is in a car with Tanaka disguised in different animal outfits. He is driving with a suspended licence and talking weird sh* like trying to guess Marie’s blood type. She is an android! She has no blood! Tanaka then tries to molest her as she resists. They crash into Hiroshi’s lab as Marie beats up Tanaka. For ruining his lab, Hiroshi is going to punish her. Uhm, just a small toy of Hiroshi doing BDSM whipping on Marie? Tanaka wants to buy! Marie destroys it. Okay. Now here comes the real punishment. Another toy set. Can Tanaka buy? Marie destroys it again and then escapes in the car which can fly. Somehow Tanaka is also on board so Marie self-destructs the car and luckily the trees break her fall. She is happy to see the bird hatching.

Marie then tries to wake up Hiroshi to tell this strange dream. Hiroshi then tells his. See, isn’t it boring? What he is trying to say is that please let him sleep! Well then, back to more dreaming for Marie. Now it gets weird because she’s trying to kiss her mirror reflection?! Then it comes to life and claims she is the real deal while Marie is the imposter. To prove she is real, she knows where her heart is? Uhm, androids have a heart? Marie then wakes up with her human counterpart. She must have passed out after playing too much tennis. However human Marie starts saying she has no right to love Hiroshi and is only suited to be her sister. Android Marie is mad and will prove it by taking Hiroshi’s virginity?! Same scene like that Hibiki rape scene only now Marie replaces her. And this time the human counterpart barges in to stop this unholy act. Android Marie claims she is created by Hiroshi and thus his. To prove it, Hiroshi takes off his head! He is the android?! Yeah, now she is the mad scientist who created him! Now Marie regresses to a kid while Hiroshi is her little brother doll. She goes to school and of course the other Marie is her friend. When she tells her about the strange dream, human Marie says she intends to steal him and views her as in between their way. So when Hiroshi arrives, Marie kidnaps her into her spaceship. Android Marie then uses the tennis ball to turn it into a ship and go after her. When Marie demands Hiroshi back, she is back to reality and the tennis game with Marie just ended. Looking for Hiroshi? He’s right here. Let’s go home. Oh you mean wake up? Marie goes to talk to Hiroshi who claims he is working on a surround sound system to give her dreams even more power! However she refuses because living out the real life is way better than all that weird dream sh*t! Marie then goes to university and talks to her counterpart about dreams. Still unsure if this is a dream, Marie kisses her! Well, looks like there’s a bug in her programme.

Absolutely Sweet Marie
So there goes another weird retro OVA off my list. Well I suppose it was okay in terms of entertainment. With only 3 episodes to boot, obviously there isn’t much to tell and each episode feels like standalone and independent from each other. First episode is the basic introduction, the second episode introduces a potential love rival and the final episode was like one weird bat sh*t LCD trippy trip about anything goes! Yeah. It was all just a dream! With the episodes not really connected to each other, it is both good and bad because if you want a coherent storyline, such short OVAs are not going to be of your liking. It’s like you watch just to have some little fun and kill some time before moving on to the next big thing.

Which is really a shame because it could’ve been better had it had more episodes but that’s just me because I somewhat felt the series was okay and funny. But I suppose that was how OVAs worked back in those days. Unlike today when a series is compelled to adapt almost all its source’s chapters and volumes from start till finish, old retro OVAs just take a few chapters to animate. Hence it was like some sort of exposure and promotion to make you go take a look at the source. In this case, this series lasted for 10 volumes. So if you’re feeling a lot of chapters were missing and not adapted here, feel free to hunt for the manga and find out more shenanigans. This kind of adaptation style for better or worse I suppose has its own charm. So the story is not really too heavy to digest but at the same time it is not too deep and may sometimes leave you unsatisfied.

Even the characters here are just pretty basic and if I should say, quite shallow. Once again, with only 3 episodes, how much do you think will be properly fleshed out? Obviously android Marie gets the bulk of the limelight. As you can already see, she is the ultimate android of that era as she acts and talks like a real human girl. Heh. Some great programming. But sometimes I see the flaws in that because with her lack of knowledge in certain areas (hey, the internet wasn’t mainstream or that accessible back then), it makes Marie look more like some cute retarded girl roleplaying as an android. Get what I mean here? Obviously all that we have seen, they want to tell us that it is all not part of the programming because their unbreakable bond is the reason Marie’s love for onii-chan is genuine and not artificial programming. Yeah, I can see that happening very likely. The thing which I don’t see about Marie as an android is that oh heck, she doesn’t take diskettes or CDs! Oh my, I believe I don’t see that anywhere, not even in Hiroshi’s lab which if filled with lots of dangerous looking haphazard cables that insurance companies would find a nightmare to insure! Blame I Dream Of Mimi for having such thoughts. I don’t know whether to feel refreshed, relieved or just stumped. After all, Marie is all metal and wire parts inside but her skin is so freaking soft and nice! Maybe no diskettes or CDs that’s why…

Clearly Hiroshi created Marie because he felt he was way too out of human Marie’s league. Yeah, I wonder if he was really thinking when he made her. Because was he planning to lock her up in home 24/7 and never to let her out? It’s his own personal doll-cum-girlfriend to begin with. Not technically human so no human rights were ever broken to begin with. Thankfully, passing Marie off as his little sister that nobody has ever heard off, thankfully everyone is so considerate to just accept it. I suspect that there was Hiroshi and human Marie romance. It was just vaguely hinted at the beginning but never really touched upon again in subsequent episodes. That’s why we have that strange Hibiki character for the delinquent girl and childhood friend trope. Probably she’s a popular character in the manga and that’s why they had to give her some screen time. Just my speculation but yeah, Hibiki has got more (dangerously) romantic moments with Hiroshi than Marie? Ironic indeed. I don’t think we have seen the last of her despite the end of her episode indicates so. Maybe just in reel time. And as for Tanaka, obviously a pervert who wants to get into Marie’s pants. Reality or dream. Thankfully he is a loser and Marie somehow gets the better of him and slips away.

And yes, there is fanservice elements here and the reason why horny otaku guys in those era would gladly spend a few more dollars to get their due bare tits fanservice. Of course watching this from this point in time, I would say that the fanservice here is quite mild. A few panty shots here and there but nothing really risqué. Oh wait. I take that back. I think there is something a little risqué unlike many other ecchi or borderline hentai fanservice animes don’t even do. There are a couple of scenes I noticed where I caught glimpse of, gulp, android Marie’s pubic hair! So is there frontal nudity?! I don’t know, visuals aren’t very sharp so I can’t make out! Damn! But yes, I thought my eyes were playing tricks but I guess my hentai brain was quick to catch it. Moments when android Marie is in her maintenance mode, lying on the lab table and baring all naked. Keep your pervy eyes peeled!

Of course I’m going to blame to very dated animation visuals and quality that prevented me from truly classifying if this is hentai. True, no sex scenes but I would greatly assume that frontal nudity is akin to hentai even if no sex occurred. Anyway, on this topic of animation and art style, as I have said it is your typical anime of that era so the visuals are really from that era. Well, still much more satisfactory than some anime’s animation of today! No surprise as this was done by Pierrot whom you’ll know for great anime hits like Naruto, Bleach, Tokyo Ghoul, Yu Yu Hakusho, Black Clover and GTO. But something about the character designs bugged me at first. Initially I thought the author of this series was the one who created Detective Conan because of how similar the characters look. At least, those ears! Yeah, to me Detective Conan’s characters’ trademark will always be those ‘big’ ear lobes. Even more so I keep seeing shades of Conan and Ran in Hiroshi and Marie respectively. Then to my surprise it is not Gosho Aoyama who wrote this. Somebody else. The author who created Chokotto Sister. Oh well…

Overall, in terms of retro animes, I quite enjoyed this one. Funny and a bit weird. Although it feels rather incomplete because of its standalone nature. But I guess that is what makes such and a few retro OVAs a gem since they were wacky in their own ways. Therefore, I don’t know if I should pick an android girl from the past or one that is from modern times. Oh heck, you’re telling me I should go find a real girlfriend instead, huh?! Too bad I’m not a genius to make one of my own. Nor do I have deep pockets to order one over the internet and have it delivered to my doorstep. Sighs. Looks like back to watching more such animes for company…

I Dream Of Mimi

1 December, 2023

It is unbelievable to see how long the computers and PC have come. And to think that it was only like a few decades old or rather in the 90’s when the computers start to boom in households. Yeah, such great nostalgia when I remember having my first ancient PC. Those were really the days. But anyway, reminiscing such is only because I stumbled upon yet another strange retro OVA series, I Dream Of Mimi or better known in its original Japanese title, Buttobi CPU. Our main character desperate to get his hands on the latest PC (which was sold out anyway), ended up getting a bootleg version. But sorry, it’s not your regular monitor and PC unit. He got a life-like computer babe! Androids already so advanced back then? Oh well, not surprising in such fantasies. Now, the most amusing thing that got me wanting to see this is that in order for this PC babe to function normally, constant input of sperm is needed! OMFG!!! Did I read the synopsis right?! Yup. I did. BUT WHO THE F*CK MADE COMPUTERS TO RUN THAT WAY?! NOT EVEN SEX BOTS!!! This I definitely got to see! And of course she can transform into a battle version to fight evil computers who want to take over the world. Hey, a sperm contains about 800MB worth of data! That’s enough processing power, baby!

Episode 1
Akira Takaoka has finally bought his first PC! As he unpacks it in his room, he is in shock and despair that he got a sex doll instead! Worse, she starts to activate and come to life as she imprints him as her master. I’m sure he wants to return her but she says he can’t as he already filed his user registration. Now she needs to complete the registration and needs his input data. Uhm, you mean sucking his dick???!!! So while Akira has a nice experience, we see his flashback how his friends told him about a cheap PC sale at Akihabara. You bet Akira wants to head down there to get one. However when he did, it was already sold out. Hey, it was selling at a dirt cheap price. As he heads back empty handed, a shady untidy guy in the alley calls to him. Want a PC? Got one right here. I guess Akira was desperate to get a PC and even more so he offered him at a cheaper price. Damn right he’ll take it. But be warned, it cannot be returned once opened and no delivery. Carry it back yourself! And so Pixie (temporary name) has just installed all his love juice and knows all about him. But Akira isn’t impressed and thinks this is invasion of privacy. This makes Pixie sad as she awaits his next orders. Can’t have her walking around naked so he lets her wear his sister’s clothes. And what’s this? She wants him to put on this protection ring so others cannot overwrite her data. Gee, it’s like getting married, no?!

But soon Pixie detects a hostile computer coming this way. She might look like a harmless girl but damn, she just blew a hole in the wall! So hurry up and use these application cards to install offensive techniques! You mean these outdated CDs?! So where to insert?! Uhm, why she taking off her panties?! HOLY F*CK?! YOU MEAN HER VAGINA IS WHERE YOU INSERT THEM???!!! But once done, nothing happens. It’s not activating. Why? NOT ENOUGH MEMORY! ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME???!!! So how to increase memory? No, not buy them from the shop. They’re closed now. Install more of his active molecules into her slot! WTF???!! If you don’t get that, stick your drive into her ass!!! OMFG!!! What choice does Akira have? Enemy babe is destroying to house so get onto it and take her from behind! Once installed, she is given a new name: Mimi. Her memory expands as she easily defeats the enemy. But she pities her because she notices she has no protection ring and has been overwritten many times. Sadly, the only way is the make her extinct. Format her for real. I guess they can’t return her to her manufacturer, huh? But lucky Akira, she has a programme that can restore his house like normal. Seriously?! SERIOUS! Just in time because his friends have arrived to enjoy his new PC. Because he doesn’t know how to introduce Mimi to them, he shoos them away. Maybe another time. Damn, came all the way here for nothing. Mimi tries to pronounce Akira’s name but has trouble. Is there a bug in her programme?! However she manages to do so and it makes them happy as they hug.

Episode 2
The friends come over to see Akira’s new PC but they are shocked to see Mimi. Luckily Akira manages to cover for her that she is his cousin who has returned from overseas. Also fortunately he manages to shut Mimi up before she truthfully tells them her actually origins. However Kanako Shimada is not entirely convinced. Later as Akira plays his PC game, Mimi shuts it off! She is jealous he is paying more attention to this obsolete PC than her! Then she also gets jealous since he talks a lot about Shimada. She forces him to choose between them! Obviously he chooses her and this makes Mimi happy. Apparently she mistakes this obsolete PC as Shimada! Next morning, Mimi has did some adjustments on ‘Shimada’. Because now they can enter the virtual world! OMFG! Like, physically?! Yup. They wander about in this virtual world naked. Because if they need clothes, that will need more memory and yup, sex! But soon they stumble into a forbidden area. Mimi gets trapped by her high end counterpart known as Forte. She is reading Mimi and is going to format her for trespassing. Mimi is okay resigning to her fate since if she dies, Akira will return to his own world. However Mimi is saved thanks to the intervention of the Nacintosh (?!) sisters, Quadra and Centris! OMFG?! You kidding me?! Apple products here???!!! You can tell these American babes are high end products with lots of HD space because of their huge boobs! Is that where they store 1000 terabytes of space???!!!

Anyway, the Nacintosh sisters want to infiltrate the Japan market and look down these Japanese bio-type computers. F*cking Americans. As they torture her and trying to break through her protection, Mimi can’t hide so she goes to fight them. When Quadra seemingly hurts Akira, actually she installed some programme in his dick! NOW IT IS FREAKING HUGE!!! OH F*CK?! SHE WANTS HIM TO INSTALL HER WITH IT!!! Mimi shoots Akira to prevent that from happening. Needing to win this, Akira is going to expand Mimi’s memory. That’s right. He is f*cking her intensely before all of them! With expanded memory, Mimi now dons a cool sexy cybernetic outfit she is able to fight the sisters but laments if she only had 600 more kilobytes to unleash her ultimate weapon! Where to get it?! Akira is already out of juice! Before Mimi gets hit, Forte dives in to protect her and takes the brunt. In great timing, a little blob comes in to give that extra kilobytes to Mimi to power up and send the sisters packing. This little blob is ‘Shimada’. So this is Akira’s computer mascot? Forte still doesn’t want to make friends with them but with what happened, she calls it even and warns them not to intrude here again. Back in his room, they ponder they know nothing about Forte or Nacintosh. When Shimada calls, Akira is happy she saved him and of course she is unsure of what the heck happened. Unfortunately Mimi hangs up the call. Slutty programme claims she ran out of memory during the fight and needs more installation! Here comes the blowjob! Gosh, I hope Akira won’t crash at this rate!

Episode 3
Mimi is now a transfer student in Akira’s class. Yeah, she’s pretty famous. Obviously Shimada is not happy and you can guess she is jealous. Mimi wants to join the same computer club as Akira. Akira’s computer pals show him a diskette containing a virus. More precisely, a worm. Seriously?! Bragging like that? This of course makes Mimi feel uncomfortable. Then she starts acting strange. Slutty, rather. Want to make out with Akira right here now?! He is forced to take her somewhere but she continues to be flirtatious. Meanwhile the Nacintosh sisters are back as Forte gets owned again. Akira takes Mimi to a toilet in a nearby computer store to reset her. How? It’s in her bellybutton. But doing so resets her memories for the last 24 hours. Worse, her memory has been reset to factory default and this means he must f*ck her to increase her memory! Oh boy! Once they’re done, their friends come in to look for them. Shimada lashing out at them for making them worried. Suddenly all the PCs start flashing and knocking everyone out. Akira and Mimi get absorbed into the virtual world where they meet another Nacintosh sister, Performa. She is crueller and unforgiving. Because of that, she doesn’t get along with the rest and is very bossy since she is more powerful than them. As Akira and Mimi hide, they also observe how the sisters have captured Forte and other Japanese PC babes. So, to see their data, just grope the boobs?! Damn, lots of useful info! And if they want to steal and absorb those data, lick the tits?! OMFG!!! Sorry Akira, don’t get distracted because Mimi has him install a programme so she can power and fight those sisters. This is a distraction so that Akira can save the Japanese counterparts.

When Performa defeats Mimi, Akira comes to protect her. She is about to kill him but Forte and the other Japanese PCs protect him and get zapped. Shimada wakes up and is unsure what to do with the mess. WTF she puts back all the diskettes on the floor into the PC. Obviously that virus diskette is also mixed up in there. Soon, all the viruses drop on Performa. Yeah, she is scared of worms! So it only affects her? Performa escapes and as for her sisters, they think it’s a good lesson for her so they also leave. Back home, Shimada calls Akira to apologize about the diskette mix up. However he praises her for saving them. I think she just got confused. The more pressing issue is now Forte. She is dying and while it looks like the only way is to format her for good, Mimi notes she can still be saved if he installs her. It is risky because she has her protection ring (though it was earlier seen her master has abandoned her) and Mimi thinks it would work since Forte defied her own programme to go protect him. Perhaps his kindness can save her. So yeah, Akira starts f*cking, I mean installing Forte. A success as Forte now accepts Akira as her master. Well… Now Mimi points out he must also do the same and install in the rest of the other Japanese babes. Holy sh*t! His hard drive is going to crash!

PC Waifu Master Race: Still Runs Better Than Windows!
Oh wow. It’s that it? Looks like it. Surprisingly I didn’t find myself to enjoy this retro OVA despite all the sleazy and cheesy parts but I guess that was what precisely made me find this highly entertaining. I didn’t expect to laugh at all the sexual innuendoes based on computer terms and even if they weren’t spammed in every few minutes, somehow it was enough to make me laugh like hell. I don’t know if it was ingenious back then but it was darn funny. Yeah, probably nostalgia played a big part in why I laughed so hard at this.

It really brings back a lot of memories seeing the old days of computers. For starters, diskettes! Oh man, do younger generations even know what it is! No, it’s not the icon for the save function! Well, technically it is but well… Damn, I feel so old at the same time! I suppose also back in the 90’s where people weren’t really computer savvy yet and the internet was still at its infant stages, watching this OVA at this point it time, everything just seems so laughable. Especially when they try to feature that virus/worm thingy. Seriously, it does not work like that! But oh well, life was like that back then. And that cyberspace thingy was such a cool and futuristic concept. Seeing our characters physically go inside it, damn it all feels so outdated by today’s standards! And yes, it doesn’t really work like that either!

It is a shame that this OVA didn’t get more episodes but that can’t be helped since it was based on the manga of the same name and it was a short-lived one, lasting for only 3 volumes. Good luck if you’re going to find this obscure manga too. Hence the adaptation sometimes feels all 3 episodes are not almost related to each other and it raises more questions than answers. For instance, in the first episode, you wonder who sent that dangerous android babe to attack Akira. It was never really addressed in the anime and soon forgotten. It just felt this part was just to introduce Mimi and her capabilities, the things that Akira needs to do to ‘install’ inside her before she dons her battle gear and kick ass. And who was that guy who sold Mimi to Akira? Only never to be seen or heard ever again. Felt like an excuse so that Akira could land a hot computer babe and set the rest of the story going. The same can be said for the other episodes. It just felt weird and like unfinished business the Nacintosh sisters were trying to infiltrate into Japan’s market but dang, some lower CPU version got in their way. Doesn’t make sense, but yeah. It was also hinted that Forte’s master sounded like some bad guy with potential and ulterior motive but all that never came to be. That is why I said that these 3 episodes feel mostly like standalone in this context.

And of course, having such OVAs in those days means it’s all about the fanservice. The sexual innuendoes and puns are one thing. But if words don’t get you horny, maybe those bare tits of Mimi would stimulate your hard drive! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… In addition to that, sometimes Mimi may go or do suggestive poses. Especially when Akira always has to install and increase her memory, there are a few scenes that hint of sexual intercourse. From the way I see it, there isn’t any director’s cut of it so we’ll just have to use our imaginations when we see Akira and Mimi’s orgasmic faces! Now I’m wondering if Mimi has reproduction capabilities and what kind of offspring will be created between man and computer! Sure, for now Akira’s sperm might be just to increase Mimi’s capabilities. What happens when she has too much of that? Yup, my dumb conspiracy theory is that those extra memories will be used to create a child! Thank goodness I didn’t write the story. So yeah, having this weird installation process is just some lame excuse for such blatant fanservice but hell it was funny in its own way. Imagine sucking tits was the only way to download data. Absolute genius!

As for the characters, nothing really very deep but I guess Mimi being your cute computer girl is trying to tell us that even AIs have their own feelings. Yeah, Mimi is so life-like, you wonder how the heck can the government let this specimen on the loose. Anyway, with Mimi acting feminine and Akira as her master, this serves to have Akira treat her like a human rather than a tool. Except for those darn installation parts! I hope when Akira gets a real human girlfriend, he won’t have such misconceptions on sex! Anyway, you wonder if Mimi who is capable of a myriad of emotions, is it all part of her programming? It is obvious she gets jealous when Akira is with other women or computers and she won’t hesitate to do something about it to get his attention. I wonder if she will have to fight for his attention now that Forte and possibly other PC babes are now having Akira as their master. Just in case, seeing the Nacintosh sisters aren’t done yet and who knows, they might bring even more powerful sisters in future battles.

And our good natured Akira, he’s going to need a lot more of those energy drinks and the likes to keep up with Mimi’s memory expansion! She’s like the Windows version for constant updates?! Hopefully Mimi will get timely updates so as Akira won’t get bored and look at other newer gadgets, devices or CPUs! Thank goodness the Apple Smartphone or iPad did not come out in that decade! Then there is Shimada who obviously is in love with Akira. My guess is for some love triangle that we unfortunately don’t get to see here. To think Akira prefers Mimi over Shimada, it makes me wonder if Mimi is making and keeping Akira look that way?

Art and animation, I would say they are pretty good compared to a lot of recent retro OVAs that I have watched recently. Obviously this one looks dated from that era but it still looks good and better quality that many other obscure OVA titles. Is it me or does Mimi at some angles look like Jeannie from I Dream Of Jeannie? Isn’t that why the English title was named so? Well, maybe it could be just me. This OVA was done by OLM who are famous for their Pokemon series.

Overall, I really did enjoy this obscure retro OVA because of those computer sexual innuendo terms. Boy, they really do crack me up. It is a shame it had no further episodes because they might run riot with all those dirty computer jokes and puns and I won’t be able to stop laughing till my tummy hurts! And fast forward today, a lot of those stuffs that were supposedly pioneering and high-tech in the 90’s have gone obsolete and mostly forgotten. From CDs and CRT monitors, those were really interesting times. And now we have life-like sex dolls and computer AI programmes that just come up with all sorts of ideas for you (looking at you ChatGPT!). Life has changed a lot. Including how we look for porn on the internet! Sorry, my junk is too obsolete for any compatible upgrade! At least, it doesn’t bug me every day like Windows for regular updates!

Hen: Strange Love

24 November, 2023

Strange… Fate must be that because it led me to stumble upon this obscure and strange OVA title, Hen: Strange Love. The synopsis seems iffy and doesn’t say really much. But the ecchi tag as well as the steamy poster that sees 2 female characters locking lips with each other, oh you bet I’m going to sign up and satisfy my strange curiosity to find out what this damn show is all about. Strange love means… Hen ai… So uhm… Hentai?!

Episode 1
Sushiaki Karasawa sees a shampoo ad with a beautiful model. Then that same girl passes by him as he also notices she is wearing the same uniform as his college. He talks to his fellow teacher about this and is told they are not the same person. As Karasawa then reliefs a teacher for swimming class. He sees that girl, Chizuru Yoshida. He starts fantasizing about falling in love with her on the beach. Because she is wearing a very sexy swimsuit, he heads over and tries to tell her off but flubs his lines, embarrassing himself. This has other girls laugh at his nervousness as they walk away. What a loser. In class, he keeps talking to himself about her and his students find him strange. Then he realizes they make be the same person despite they have different eye colours because she was wearing contacts. He tries to return her dropped contacts while fantasizing being romantic with her. However reality hits when he asks if he is that same girl in the ad. Not sure why she gets upset and even dares him to tell the faculty. What’s this rule about students can’t get a job?! They’re college students for f*cks sakes! On the way back, it seems he notices Yoshida tailing him. WTF more delusions she wants to run away with him to marry?! Then he sees her being cornered by a yakuza. More delusions that he beats up that guy and she falls for him. However, she tells the yakuza off who is begging her to stay with him. Heck, she beats him up too! Then she confronts Karasawa and says she’ll be staying at his place. This is to stop him from ratting on her. WTF, HUH?! As he is worried about the scandal that might hit him, we see Yoshida’s badass side because a couple of noisy kids are running in the train and she purposely trips them!

Back in his place as she takes a shower, he fantasizes her as his wife. Then it’s like she treats this place like her own and goes to sleep naked! So when Karasawa strips to bath, she won’t let him?! Indecent?! SHE IS F*CKING NAKED IN HIS BED!!! THIS IS HIS ROOM! Then as she sleeps, he gets frustrated and tries to steal a kiss to get back at her. Turns out she was just pretending. Gotcha. Then she teases him to say he loves her and even hints if he wants to have sex with her. In that case, let’s play a game. Rock-scissors-paper. For every win, she puts back on her clothes. If he wins once, he gets to have sex with her. That sure motivates him but he is on a losing streak! So he pleads for one chance. PLEASE! Okay. Not like she’s going to lose, right? Oh wait, she loses! Sex, right?! It’s her turn to plead for a chance. But they’ll be arm wrestling. Obviously he beats her but this is a trap so she could handcuff him to the table. Goodnight. But that won’t stop him because he climbs on top of her with the table! Must have sex! That’s when she admits she is a virgin. That yakuza guy? Oh, he just wanted company to play games and she made some money out of it. After all, she lives on her own and that TV ad was her part time job to get some money. He calls her strange. You sure said it. Next morning as she leaves, she admits she had fun and might come back. But Karasawa is happy that she is a virgin because, uhm, marriage? But as we see, her virginity is all a lie because she is having sex with another guy!

Episode 2
So this guy that she is enjoying sex with, Hiroyuki is a rocker, eh? One night, she comes in and sees him f*cking another girl. She didn’t lose her cool but claims she won’t come back here. Hiroyuki then finishes up quickly to go after her! He claims he was just testing her to see if she gets jealous. WTF?! When new neighbour, Azumi Yamada enters the lift, Yoshida changes her mind and starts kissing him. HUH?! So, Yamada is also a new transfer student and in the same class with Yoshida. Yoshida observes her and she is quite clumsy. Later when Yamada goes to talk to her, suddenly Yoshida starts to blush. She can’t take it anymore and runs away! WTF?! Do I think what I think it is? Yup, even Yoshida has her suspicions about herself being lesbian. So she fantasizes having sex with other girls. Nope, definitely it won’t do. So that proves she isn’t lesbian, right? But when she starts imagining sex with Yamada, she starts to enjoy it and gives out a sexy moan right in the middle of class! OMFG! That night as she has sex with Hiroyuki to prove that she is only into guys, her mind starts drifting towards Yamada. Oh damn, she orgasms with the thought of her! And Hiroyuki thought he did her in! So worried about Yamada, she starts to eavesdrop next door. Yeah, the walls must be thin for her to hear Yamada talk about her. That’s when she realizes she likes Yamada. Next day before they head to school, it seems Yamada ignores her when greeted. Oh my, what happened? Then on the crowded train, Yoshida gets groped. Yamada sums up her courage to pull her away from the pervert when they arrive at their next stop. So as they talk, it is then Yoshida confesses she loves her. So it’s official that she’s a lesbian now? With their new friendship, Yoshida is like ‘stalking’ and following Yamada all around. Yeah. Creepy. Back home, she tells mom about this and she thinks Yoshida might have a case of loneliness or trouble with her family or boyfriend.

After another make out session with Hiroyuki, this time he proposes to get married. However she declines because she is not in love with him. Definitely sent shockwaves to him. So as he ponders which guy she is in love with, he also suspects it could be Yamada but it’s Yoshida we’re talking about. She loves men. But that fear comes true when he talks to her and she reveals Yamada as the object of her affection. Hiroyuki blows his top because being lesbian is bad? Not accepting this sh*t! Since she is adamant she wants to be with Yamada, Hiroyuki walks out. One day, the girls force Yoshida to help them play in some basketball tournament. Meanwhile Hiroyuki calls Yamada over and claims he has wrote a new song and needs her opinion on it. Obviously he is trying to do it with her as he plays nice and even drugging her drink! Yoshida is done with her game as she rushes home. She fears Hiroyuki is going to rape Yamada! So how to get back fast? Oh damn, she steals a bicycle?! Then she rides recklessly through the streets causing damage and near accidents! How many laws has she broken?! And when she wrecked the bicycle, she gives her panties to a skater boy for his roller blades. Definitely a steal! The time seems right as Hiroyuki gets close to Yamada. He thinks if Yoshida might give up on her if she sees them having sex. But what’s this? Hiroyuki is revealed to be Yoshida’s cousin???!!! OMFG!!! SO INCEST IS OKAY BUT NOT LESBIANISM???!!! WHAT THE HECK?! When Yoshida finally comes home she sees them in a session. Well… It is a music session! He plays his guitar while she plays her recorder. Oh damn. Yoshida so relieved she is crying. Hiroyuki so disappointed he is crying. Yamada not sure what the heck is going but since Yoshida is crying for her, she also cries! WHAT THE F*CK???!!! I guess Hiroyuki has come to terms that Yoshida being with another girl beats being with another guy!

Sex And The Hen(t)Ai!
Strange… You’re strange. He’s strange. She’s strange. They’re strange. We are all strange! Hell yeah. And what we need more is strange love?! Are you kidding me?! Well… It could have been worse! I have to admit, the whole thing is just bad. Not strange. Just bad. Yeah. Unfortunately it is not bad enough to be good. Uh huh. You know how some sh*tty animes were so bad that it is good? Well, this is not one of them. Sure, it was strange to say the least but overall it was still disappointing as f*ck. Yeah. Not so strange for me to say that. Thank goodness this had only 2 episodes. I would have been a lot stranger and far worse if this had more episodes. Sheesh.

First of all, let me point out the inferior and low animation quality. It’s just really bad. Unbearable. For example, in the opening scenes of the first episode, we are greeted with very wonky animation quality because obviously, everybody is walking in very strange manner! I believe it is bad quality! I mean, really?! Then the characters look weird. They have sharp chin and high forehead area. Reminds me of Gokinjo Monogatari but I didn’t see that show. But anyway, the characters looking so makes the whole thing look really weird. Even more so, they are lanky and so thin that I thought almost everyone here is anorexic or something. Sheesh. Thus it goes without saying that the other visuals like the backgrounds and the overall look of the animation just feels way below average. Not strange. Just below par.

Heck, even the fanservice here feels paltry. Obviously that is the selling point of this series. Yup, Yoshida’s huge melons. They are so freaking big that I won’t blame you to think that she could be moonlighting as some porn star! Not surprising or strange, considering Yoshida’s penchant for men and sex! Anyway, her tits are so big that it looks a bit disproportionate to the rest of her body. But what do we horny guys care? There’s your bare tits. Big ones too. What else do you want?! Too bad mostly ruined by the low animation quality because despite so many scenes of Yoshida’s bare tits sticking out, quite a number of suggestive and sex scenes, all fail to make the cut because of the inferior quality. Yeah, even the pantsu and lingerie they animate here feel so plain. Ugh. I believe I can even lose my libido if I were to watch more episodes of this crap! Yikes. So yeah, they baited us with naughty and sexy adult bits but they failed to deliver. So it’s not so strange to see why this series was so obscure, eh? And to think that Group TAC animated this OVA because they animated a few shows like Gakuen Alice, Grappler Baki, Miami Guns and Grenadier to name a few. Well, they also did Tokko too and I saw that recently which is bad in this department. So yeah, I guess not every show they make can have the same quality. Unfortunately this one is not it either.

The next disappointing part is the characters. Namely Yoshida herself. I am very confused with her character. In the first episode, she was this cool badass cat who teased that virgin lecturer of hers. Even if she was a jerk and a b*tch and her actions don’t make sense, at least she was kinda cool (in the loosest sense). And then when the second episode came about, suddenly she’s like a whole new different person! Just because she starts to become a lesbian, it’s like she turned into some sort of inferior high school girl in love. True, she might be confused about her sexuality because all the while she has been banging men. Or rather, Hiroyuki. And then all of a sudden Yamada comes into her life and suddenly this change in character. Now she is more annoying than anything. Damn. Look at how strange love has turned her into! Look how freaking fickle she is in regards to staying and having sex with Hiroyuki! Does she really want to stay with him? I guess so. For the sex. After all, I just got to ask if another pussy can satisfy her as much as a dick! Oh sh*t!

The other characters are as bad and as shallow as the storyline. Heck, there isn’t any real story to begin with and even if it was, it feels just dumb (the final part of Yoshida rushing back felt so). Imagine, the first episode was all about a young teacher trying to bang his student! Count how many times he fantasized over her! That’s not strange! It’s just freaking creepy! Yeah, I can’t blame him for not being able to control himself. With Yoshida having those sort of hentai tits, any straight healthy young guy would lose it. But there she was, being the ultimate cock teaser and doing no-brainer stuffs like sleeping in his room naked. Like, WTF?! Yeah, what ever happened to that Karasawa guy anyway? Did he get fired? Then in the next episode, it’s all about her confused lesbian feelings. Yamada feels like a country bumpkin and the new kid in town, fumbling her way through this friendship of hers. And Hiroyuki, oh my, this dude is her cousin?! Such relationships aren’t strange in anime but oh well. Not sure if all the girls he f*cked, his cousin is the best and that’s why he wants her to stay. After all, she is the only one who can provide him with regular sex. Hey, just like how it is better for Yoshida to be with another girl, it is also better for him to be with his female cousin than another man! HOLY SH*T!

Lastly, I want to point out the voice acting. One factor for me checking this out because Takehito Koyasu helmed Karasawa and Akira Ishida as Hiroyuki. While they aren’t their badass mode and especially Takehito Koyasu who isn’t Jojo material and a bit like a wuss, at least it is good to know that these guys are still recognizable and sound as professionals they did then and now. However it is the female characters whom I have a problem with. You see, Atsuko Kichiya who voiced Chizuru sounded a bit raw and quite amateurish that it makes her character doesn’t sound as convincing enough. Well, it is no surprise as this was the only ever voice acting role she ever did. The same can exactly be said for Ayumi Sakurai as Yamada. I don’t blame you if you never even heard of them. Because we definitely never hear from them again! It’s like they just plucked some random girl on the street to voice a couple of episodes because no other female seiyuus were available at that time. Yeah, I guess big names of that period like Kikuko Inoue or Megumi Hayashibara were too big for a sleazy and obscure low production like this, huh?

Overall, this 1997 OVA was just disappointing and not even those big boobs and sexy adult bits were enough to salvage it. They just baited us, that’s all. I had so many questions I want to ask at the end but I chose not to because at this point I didn’t care. I have to convince myself that I am satisfied with the tits this show has to offer and shouldn’t be asking for more. So for the umpteenth time, it is not so strange to see why this series is one of the many obscure titles of that era. Yeah, you’d be frightened to see tons of such obscure animes produced in those days! Yeah. Those were really strange times we lived in!

Yakusai Kochou

20 October, 2023

Strangely, after my short stint with Megami Paradise, it recommended me to another obscure OVA, Yakusai Kochou. Not into such supernatural stuffs so why the heck am I even checking it out? Oh… The fanservice… Since it is only a single episode, how much harm can be done, right? No harm trying to check it out, right? Oh boy. I wouldn’t know… Apparently the synopsis is about ghosts terrorizing some university and thus our titular character has to use her sexy and attractive body to defeat them. WTF?! No wonder those ghosts are still lingering as they still have desires of the flesh!

The haunting…
We see some woman returning to Heian University late at night to get back something. You mean she can’t wait till the next day. Thus it is no surprise some ghosts are stalking her. She thought her boyfriend came to her rescue but turns out he is also a ghost! SCREAM! Too bad, this isn’t some B-grade movie!!! Now we hear Kousaku Urano narrate that he is prone to being haunted by ghosts and spirits. Sheesh, even this university he attends, there are many such supernatural incidents already. But don’t worry, he has this hot sexy cutie, Kochou Enoki coming all the way from Taiwan to Japan to study astrology. Don’t forget the baldy professor also from Taiwan, Taichi Kamo who is the astrology club’s supervisor. With the intensity of such happenings getting more frequent, you bet they’re going to investigate what goes behind this. Rounding up the bunch of weirdoes is Kochou’s younger sister, Koran who is shameless when it comes to flirting with Urano, much to her sister’s chagrin. Yeah, use those boobs! I’m sure Urano loves them a lot. Kamo begins some ritual to summon the ghost. Basically, having Kochou strip naked. Okay, okay, if she won’t be in her birthday suit, maybe this sexy revealing dress should do the trick. So as Kamo starts chanting his nonsense, something activates. I don’t know what’s happening but the force is causing Kochou’s boobs to jiggle and the flimsy clothes to come off! Oh yeah! The guys are loving this! Of course it ends when the ghost comes out. In fact, it is some evil spirit in the form of a samurai. Though, he escapes. At this point, Kochou’s clothes completely comes off. Guess whose faces got lots of bruises?

Because the ghost dropped some family crest, Urano and the girls head to the library to do their research ON A VERY ANCIENT COMPUTER! So this belongs to a person named Kiyomaru and apparently there was an arranged marriage between the Tokinaga and Miyasu family. However Kiyomaru already loved another woman and this angered his father. After they were separated, Kiyomaru ran away on the day before the wedding. All the servants commit suicide and their heads put up on poles as an example. The Tokinaga family’s relation with Miyasu worsened and was destroyed. Nobody knew what happened to Kiyomaru. Probably fell into a ditch and died? Kamo pointed out the pool has strong negative energy and it was the exact place where Kiyomaru’s servants commit hara-kiri. Urano and Kochou wait at the pool as Kamo finishes his talisman. But a blonde ghost seduces him with tits and knocks him out. He is about to be killed but luckily Koran returns to save the day with some charm. The ghost turns into a hot guy to seduce her. WTF she wants to get banged?! To her disappointment, he couldn’t last and gets lectured!!! Meanwhile Kochou asks Urano what he would do if he was Kiyomaru. Then he starts molesting and touching her privates. WTF?! To her dismay, looks like a ghost has possessed his body! He will be taking it to hell while letting his samurai servants keep her company. Don’t worry, Kamo and Koran are here to help so Kochou can go after him. She dives into the pool and the only way to get Urano back is to strip naked and crash her crotch into has face! Yeah, that actually did the trick. The ghost then reverts into Kiyomaru who tells the truth that the incident is a combination of the frustration from Kiyomaru who couldn’t marry his lover and the spirits wandering around this area. Kiyomaru actually tripped and died in a ravine when he ran away from home. Now they have to cross over but apparently that takes money to make tombstones for them. So how to make money? These ghosts put up a play for the university and they’re making a killing. The sisters continue to fight over Urano. I believe he is haunted and cursed by more than just ghosts…

Saiyaku Kochou!
Well… That was certainly mediocre! Horrible if I should add. If you wonder why more episodes aren’t produced, it is only because this series was a very short-lived one. Yeah, a manga that only ran for 4 volumes! So for better or worse (most probably the former), the single episode was suffice enough for everything because we certainly do not need such nonsense. I know I have a soft spot for retro animes but this 1997 OVA was just paltry. And to think that there was a live action film that came out in that same year?! Oh man. So they think they can bait some horny viewers with a few paltry fanservice. Sure, it would’ve been a big thing back then. But now looking back, those few scenes with bare tits, they’re just so freaking mild. Thank the spontaneous internet for spoiling us all! The characters are just generic and boring. Dumb if I should add too. Urano being so useless that he’s just, well, useless. Like as though they needed some sort of loser character so that the sisters can shamelessly fight over. Not to say that Urano is a saint either. But just like any other guys, he gets turned on seeing hot sexy tits. Yeah. And to think Kochou’s sexy body is some sort of natural talisman, well, a little weird concept there but I guess at the end of the day, the creator might be thinking that sex sells. Nothing like the body of a hot young girl, eh? Probably that’s who we all will remember Kochou. If we even remember this series at all!

Making this series even more mediocre is the animation quality that is just amateurish. You can obviously see Urano is already looking so plain and the animation quality makes him even look plainer. A bit cartoonish. Yeah, look at Kamo. He already looks like your joker character. But really, the overall quality was just bad and not really worth it. What a waste they wrote a theme song named after this series as the ending theme which actually isn’t too shabby. At the end of it all, it’s a shame that this OVA feels like one of those one shot series trying to make a quick buck and no wonder it is very obscure. I don’t know if it is good or bad luck for me to stumble upon this but now I know that this series is just really sh*t. Heh. I know, I know, there are even way lot more of such obscure titles that are probably worse than this. Too bad Kochou’s sexy body can’t save it and it’s so bad that the ghosts aren’t even haunting it anymore. The series is its own calamity and died a death nobody even knew…

Megami Paradise

13 October, 2023

This sounds like a hentai title. Heh. Got your attention there, right? Unfortunately, Megami Paradise is not exactly hentai but if you are a fan of retro JRPGs, you might come across this obscure title from the 90’s. Obviously I’m not one and I only stumbled upon this by chance. You can guess what keywords I used when I Google and chanced upon this… Heh… Anyway… Imagine only a world where only women exist. Some star rules over them but it got corrupted and hence they need some sort of priestess to purify it. Yeah, whatever. How can there be evil atrocities if men don’t exist in this universe and hence no possible rape scenarios? What could be worse than that? Oh right. Other b*tches who have their own nefarious plans. I guess having yuri isn’t so bad after all.

Episode 1
As narrated, over the years, the people’s greed have corrupted everything around them. The current Mamamega is tasked to purify the Astro Star. This will be her final task and plans to hand over her duties to a new successor. Now the whole place is abuzz and excited about the possibility of the new chosen maidens. Yup, many think they have a chance. Lucky girl Lilith has been chosen as one and now tasked to find the rest. She approaches Stashia for it but is turned down. She claims she doesn’t want the fame and fortune that comes with it. Sorry girl, try elsewhere. So as she heads off, Rurubell comes looking for her and thinks she has what it takes to be one. So did she just impose on herself she will be a maiden? She accompanies Lilith to seek out other candidates. They see Juliana in training. Rurubell wants to test Juliana herself but ends up getting owned. Juliana is not impressed with this and scares those pipsqueaks away. But soon she is attacked but is able to fend it off. She thinks it’s those pipsqueaks trying to test her again. As Lilith and Rurubell try to approach other candidates, they seem them defeated. Worse, being caught at the scene, others think they are the ones responsible for this. With this rumour spreading, now the whole paradise is turned upside down going after them. Even if Lilith approaches those who aren’t affected, they run away in fear. Then a group of ladies suddenly get brainwashed and turned into puppets as they attack the duo. Juliana has witnessed this and now believes the duo aren’t the culprit. Indeed. The perpetrators reveal themselves: Maharaja, Rouge and Angela. As Juliana is busy fighting Rouge, Maharaja uses her evil music to have the mind controlled ladies attack and kill the weaklings. Thanks to Stashia’s good music to blow it all away. Angela then summons a huge golem to fight. Lilith is having low self-confidence but realizes she must live up to Mamamega’s expectations. Hence using some discount Dragonballs, she summons a snake monster to destroy the golem. This shocks the evil b*tches. They would love to have another go but Pastel pops up and warns them to retreat as per instructed by Yamimama. See you next time. Lilith then pleads to Juliana and Stashia to become maidens. Juliana agrees since she wants to get back at those evil b*ches but Stashia remains defiant. But with Rurubell bugging her, she changes her mind so as to watch over this loli. Yeah, Rurubell already assuming she is in. And with that, the quartet become the new maidens for Mamamega.

Episode 2
A short narration on how Mamamega purifies the Astro Star before a new successor takes over. So, it’s only good for 1 use? As the ceremony is about to begin, Mamamega senses something amiss. She goes to check it out. Oh my, Astro Star is missing! With all the other priestesses knocked out unconscious, obviously the perpetrators are those evil maidens. They claim they have already stolen it and as underlings of Yamimama, she will be the one who will rule over this world via darkness. They also kidnap Lilith. Well, can’t miss Yamimama’s base. It’s that obvious, that dark ominous structure right across the land. Stashia and Juliana will go over to rescue Lilith and the Astro Star and they want Rurubell to stay here to protect Mamamega. Lilith meets Yamimama and learns her intentions. She wants to expel the Astro Star from this dimension as it is obviously deterring them from achieving their goals. Because they cannot touch it, they are going to use Lilith as a sacrifice to do it. So, HOW THE F*CK DID THEY STEAL IT HERE IF THEY CAN’T F*CKING TOUCH IT?! Oh right, levitation and whatever. Juliana and Stashia are faced with the dark maidens but because the latter play dirty, the duo get trapped and tortured. Having fun, eh? Mamamega is busy healing the priestesses so worried Rurubell sneaks out to go help her fellow maidens. Yeah, the dark maidens are laughing at this loli as she bungles her way to help. Rurubell will be having the last laugh as this weird explosion causes them to be blasted to the base. The dark maidens fight hard to protect Yamimama who is in the midst of the ritual that can’t be interrupted. But thankfully, Mamamega and her priestesses have revived. They send their light prayers over. As per the script, light triumphs over darkness so the evil b*tches are sent reeling to their defeat. Lilith and the Astro Star are safe. The evil ones retreat but vow to return another time. They won’t give up this easily. Our maidens happily return home with the Astro Star to resume the ceremony.

Mama Mia! Almost Hell’s Paradise?
Oh well. That was just pretty mediocre and average. I mean, what else was I expecting from it? Oh right. Fanservice. That’s right. This short little OVA has some fanservice bits like pantsu shots and even bare tits but those are far and few in between. Of course, no genitals shown to beat that hentai label loophole. But of course such fanservice here is already very mild. Yeah, I have seen so much and this paltry fanservice isn’t really anything new or exciting. Perhaps watching this in those days, maybe. But at this point in time, it’s not really a big issue. Especially the internet exploding and having lots hidden smutty stuffs. So I guess back in those days, shows like these were your simple and basic stuff to get the job done. Yeah, now I know why the reason men don’t exist in this universe. They exist outside the universe like us viewers who watch and jerk off to these hotties! That must be it!!! On a side note, if the fanservice style seems pretty familiar, it is because this series was created by the same guy who later on went to create Agent Aika and Najica series. Yeah.

As far as the story is concerned, it is pretty average and nothing really special. So basically it’s just about good girls vs bad girls, light vs darkness. There isn’t anything much to it but of course, this is a story that was created back in the 90’s and from a video game. My guess is that this show is just to serve as something extra to those who played the game as well as advertisement and exposure to get those to check the game out. I am also assuming it is one of the many titles that didn’t become famous or successful. Otherwise we all would’ve known about it and become a household name like the Final Fantasy series. A series that was never final anyway. Yeah, so this one became somewhat of a lost paradise? And who the f*ck are those bad people corrupting the Astro Star?! So great their evil deeds and negative feelings to cause this. I don’t think these cute maidens living here are that evil. ARE THEY?! And to think that they can just purify it but doesn’t that just means the cruel cycle will repeat itself? Oh my maidens, is this your purpose of existence?!

A big bulk of the series sees the characters fighting or running into some sort of trouble. That’s about it. No convoluted plot twist anywhere because damn, the villains are so kind to even introduce themselves, their goal and all. Too bad with only a couple of episodes, we don’t really see their characters being fleshed out because I doubt there is anything more to tell about them. And turning Lilith into a damsel in distress for the second episode? Sounds like she just got relegated to being a side character. The other characters almost feel similar to each other and it’s like as though they are just on the different side. Generally, I can see the maidens on both sides to be quite lively and plucky. Character overlap? Maybe.

Yeah well, in a universe that only hot women exist, everybody here looks so pretty, uhm, retro anime-like? Yeah whatever. But still, my soft spot for retro animes had me still think that the dated looking visuals still look better than today’s animation quality. Not the best there is but still looking decently good. After all, this was done by Studio Fantasia who did Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien, Stratos 4 and of course the Aika and Najica series. Not to mention I saw a few hentai titles under their belt… As for the voice acting, surprised to hear Kikuko Inoue as Stashia but I guess in those days, she was like almost everywhere. The rest I don’t recognize and they’re all old veterans who are probably retired now or at least not as active as before. If you are familiar with Masami Okui’s style of lively anime pop songs, you’ll be glad that the opener, Get My Way as well as the ending song, Dreaming Heart has her trademark singing. Clearly, obviously to my taste. Oddly, the instrumental version of Dreaming Heart for the second episode is not too bad either.

Overall, this obscure anime won’t be making any impact just like many of such other obscure series that come and go. It’s like going on a treasure hunt but finding some sort of item that isn’t really a treasure and then just tossing back into the pile of junk. Yeah. This one feels something like that. I’m not saying that this series is bad or close to being worse, but it doesn’t have anything that makes it stand out. Not the mild fanservice or the obligatory battles between the characters. Perhaps it is a good thing that this series continues to remain obscure and away from those with dark intentions of the heart. Now these maidens can happily frolic in private, their yuri paradise! Oh boy. Such dirty thoughts is going to corrupt the Astro Star even faster! Mamamega and her maidens are going to have a lot of work cut out for them purifying such horny thoughts!

Megami No Cafe Terrace

24 September, 2023

Grandma’s café that has been running for years going to close down because our sweet lovely lady has just passed on. End of an era. End of the story! Just kidding! Oh well, looks like her grandson now has to reluctantly take over but he can’t really do so yet because somehow there are 5 cute girls living there?! Like, how?! I don’t know, but I guess Megami No Cafe Terrace is not the kind of show where these girls serve up shady services nor it is one that is going to be filled with explicit fanservice. Though, fanservice is part of the label and that’s how it baited me to watch it. Just put cute 2D girls on the promotional poster and I’m definitely sold. So our main guy here needs to find a way to keep this café running and even more so that his hands are full trying to work with these ladies, each with their own quirky persona. They should run a comedy house sometimes, just saying…

Episode 1
Hayato Kasukabe returns to the seaside café named Familia that her recently departed grandma runs. He hasn’t been back in 3 years so it’s been a while. As he sits down pondering his next move, he is in for a shock as he sees not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 5 cute ladies in their underwear living here! They beat him up thinking he is a burglar. But even after he explains himself, they tie him up just in case. Folks, meet Ouka Makuzawa, Ami Tsuruga, Riho Tsukishima, Akane Hououji and Shiragiku Ono. They were working for grandma about a year ago and started living here. They know all about Hayato as grandma often talked about him. However Hayato asserts he owns this place and has the right to kick them out. Doesn’t matter if grandma called them family or not or if they paid for her funeral expenses. This is his house! Dickhead. After all, he is going to sell this place, tear it down and build a parking lot. So as the girls ponder their next move, Riho thinks of using their feminine charms to get what they want. Yeah. That’s why we are watching this show, right?! Anyway, using Ouka as ‘first sacrifice’, she is to act like his master’s maid. He is not impressed. I hope he isn’t gay. He orders fried chicken despite Ouka only knows how to make pilaf. Yeah, she burnt them all. This has Hayato calculate the losses if she was making this in an hour. I don’t know what Ami’s plan is but he points out her very revealing outfit and this sends her into embarrassment. Whatever plan just failed. That night as he baths, he expects the girls to come in to wash his back in cliché fashion. Did not happen! He remembers getting an argument with grandma before leaving. It’s why their relationship was strained. Something about him wanting to go to Tokyo University, make lots of money by having working some scumbag to the bone. Grandma pointed out he is the scumbag to think as such. Doesn’t grandma want to be rich? A little money is enough for her.

Hayato is shocked to see Akane smoking but it’s just chocolate as she claims she is writing songs for her band. Riho sets her next plan in motion. This time Shiragiku as the real sacrificial lamb. A small drop of alcohol is enough to make her drunk. In this state, she turns into a pervert! Now she seduces Hayato in his bed. Riho’s plan is to snap pics of him in compromising position and blackmail him into letting them stay. Too bad this is ruined as Ami ‘saves the day’ by beating up Hayato, thinking he did something. Luckily or not, Shiragiku has no recollection of yesterday’s incident. Hayato invites a couple of guys to take a look at this place to make an estimate. When one of them manhandles the sign, Hayato refuses to let them have it. This has the girls wonder if he changed his mind. Ouka then cooks pilaf for him. She says grandma told her if anything happens to her, make it for her grandson as it is his favourite dish. As he eats, he remembers grandma raised him on her own after his parents died in an accident. He also saw her kowtowing to a debt collector for more time and defied the odds to sell this place. This was the reason why he wanted to go to university and make more money. After he learns that the girls at together with grandma, he has them show the accounts of this place. Mostly deficit and even more so after she hired the girls. Hence he has decided to run this place in grandma’s stead. He will take a year off university and see how it goes. If business fails, he will then only sell it. As master of this house, he has the right to stay and of course they can leave. Obviously everyone is going to stay and I suppose Ouka has no choice too. What choice does she have?

Episode 2
Hayato wants to delegate the chores but everybody is complaining why they can’t do it! Yeah, grandma always does it herself. Wait. Does this mean they caused grandma’s death by overworking?! What excuses they’re giving now?! Eventually they drag their feet to do it and they look more like fooling around or not putting their heart into it. They have this chance to strike back at him as Hayato carelessly mishandles Ouka’s undergarments in the machine. He doesn’t think much about it but apparently the girls are not too fond of it. It’s your fault. Hence he is made to clean the café alone as he remembers grandma’s coffee mill and how it made the best coffee roast. Shiragiku wants Hayato to eat with them together because they’re family. Are you sure it’s nothing else? Great timing for the sakura tree to bloom so dinner’s going to be great. Before the café’s opening, Hayato is going to let the girls taste the proud coffee he makes. IT SUCKS!!! Believe it! While his pride is somewhat tarnished later Akane shows it to him how it’s done. Tastes better? Wow. It is. Hence he has to put aside his pride and asks her to teach him. Akane remembers grandma telling him how he always sulks if he doesn’t get his way although he ends up apologizing the most. She agrees to teach him and he thought he could pull a fast one to claim she looks cuter if she smiles. Challenge accepted. There’s your cute smile. Riho thought Hayato asks her out on a date but she is the lesser of 5 ‘demons’ whom he needs to bring to go meet their business associates before the reopening. We see Riho using her cute charm and charisma to have those locals look forward to the reopening. Later as they pray at the shrine, Hayato wonders what’s up with her ditzy acting so she tells him off about his sulking look. Is that how one should look while paying a courtesy call? The world doesn’t revolve around you and it’s just proper manners to show respect to those who are helping you! She’s got a point. If he is running the café like that, they’ll definitely close down in a year. This has Hayato realize grandma had way more resolve than just running the café but also to raise him. Hayato decides to go back and talk to those people again. As a reward, Riho shows him her panties???!!! WTF?! So shocked this guy he falls down the stairs! Don’t worry, he’ll be alright. Anybody who can withstand Ami’s beating can surely survive this!

Episode 3
Hayato and Ouka continue to argue. Riho warns Hayato to make up with her because it’ll be bad for business as well as working environment. Even Akane advises to be straight up with Ouka and compliment her since she is that simple. Well, it’s going to be tough because each time Ouka does something disagreeable, he blows his top. Even if it is not his intention, he ends up saying stuffs that sounds like insulting her. Then one night he catches her trying out the waitress outfit for size. Trying not to get sarcastic, he tries to compliment her dress but comes off sounding more like an insult. But wait. She’s happy? You see, she was the one who designed the dress as she is taking a fashion course to be a fashion designer. Grandma once told her that Hayato might have a sharp tongue but he doesn’t lie. And for that, she is very happy about his compliment. As everyone meets up to discuss for tomorrow’s official opening, Hayato even pays them for last month. Where did he get the money? Yes, dabbling in stocks. So easy. Later Ami talks to him about why everyone is able to get along with him is because of grandma. Just when he thought she’s the smartest one, turns out she’s the dumbest as usual because she is trying to take credit for herself that because of her, she gets to stop any fights between them. Suddenly she gets very solemn telling him that precious things are broken easily. And if it’s her fault, she is sorry. Well, well… She broke his PC and handphone! Apparently she was serving tea while holding dumbbells! No prizes to guess what happened! And then on the news, a company that Hayato invested all his money in now has some scandal and the stocks are plummeting! Nobody else got a PC around?! Just like that, all savings went to zero. No more funds for the café… Ami thinks fondling her boobs would make it up?! Heck, I don’t think selling her body would cover it!!!!

Next day, Familia opens. Some customers come in and order coffee. They remember it like the last time. The same as grandma’s. They are satisfied with it and will come back again. This boosts Hayato and the girls’ morale. Until of course that damn debt collector, Fuwa steps in. Knowing Hayato is the grandson, this jerk makes Hayato bow to him because had it not be, there was no way grandma could’ve raised him. Worse, Fuwa starts badmouthing grandma and insulting her bowing is better than her coffee. You wonder why Hayato hasn’t smacked him yet. Remembering grandma’s words once more, all customers are part of the family. But when Fuwa continues to run his mouth, it is the girls who are ready to beat the sh*t out of him but promptly stopped in time by Hayato. He claims there is a cockroach at his seat so he gets upset and WTF lifts up Shiragiku’s skirt?! Now Hayato tells him to leave or he’ll report him for sexual harassment. The other customers are willing to stand as witness so the dickhead leaves. Everyone is glad that no violence happened despite they really wanted to teach this old geezer a lesson. But that will be bad for their first day of business, right?

Episode 4
After a week, the customers are dwindling… Hence Hayato gets this idea to hold a stall at the upcoming annual Sakura Festival. However selling their usual coffee won’t do and they need a menu update. Shiragiku suggests some cookies with liqueur. Uhm, is that alcohol? Don’t worry, it will be evaporated once it is baked. Too bad that is bad enough because she also gets drunk and starts getting sexy all over Hayato. This time Riho getting mad thinking they’re flirting instead of doing real work. Meanwhile Ouka has added some new frills to the usual dress and has Ami wear it. Suddenly Hayato comes in and takes the flower headband to use it to cover Shiragiku’s boobs! We all know this won’t go well… Somebody gets pummelled again. In the end, it is Akane who gives Hayato the cookie recipes from her grandma. While Hayato, Ouka and Ami man the stall at the festival, the rest handle the main shop. Ouka runs into trouble when she bumps into a few punks. They want to hit on her but obviously she isn’t interested. I can’t believe Hayato and Ami just watched this happen. I understand Hayato but shouldn’t Ami already jump to whack them? Anyway, the punks confront the stall and definitely want to start trouble. However other stalls start to defend them and tell them to get their ass out. Next day, their stall is filled with trash. They believe those punks, one of them is Fuwa’s grandson. The normal order is to clean up and open business but Hayato decides to withdraw so as not to cause trouble to others. While Ouka blames herself, Hayato reminds her they might be withdrawing but not giving up. They head back to the café to get their mobile stall.

With Riho advertising it on social media, they are back in business as they open near the festival grounds. Now lots of people are visiting. If they run out of supplies, Ami will just rush back to the main store to get them. With some commenting on their cute outfits, Hayato credits Ouka as a designer and hopes she’ll succeed in her dreams. On the way back, Hayato will have to push the stall all the way. Just their luck, it’s those punks again. They admitted leaving those trash as Hayato warns them it is illegal to destroy property. They punch him. They mention Fuwa has ties with the police so reporting won’t do sh*t. However Hayato starts reciting some penal code about self-defence. Cue for Ami to beat the sh*t out of them! When she loses strength, one takes up a weapon to beat her. WTF she uses missiles from the headband to fire into his eyes! Then Shoryuken! I wonder what the penal code for trademark copyright infringement is!!! Hayato deals the finishing blow that they’re lucky fighting Ami. Because they’re done for if Ouka was the one pissed. That’s right. Mad Dog Ouka is the strongest gangster around! Those punks get scared and runs away. That should show them. Hayato has already recorded this conversation as proof. He got punched because he doesn’t want the stall or their uniforms to get destroyed. It’ll be a shame for Ouka who put so much effort into it. Hayato looking so cool for a second there…

Episode 5
Thanks to the festival, the crowd is back at Familia. That night, Hayato notices Riho working late. She’s trying to think of ways to promote the café but this only makes Hayato suspicious that she is working so hard. She claims grandma and this café saved her and she can do what she wants. But when he tells her to do what is just normal, she takes it the wrong way and gets emotional thinking all this hard work makes her look pathetic and embarrassing (some snippet of trauma of someone telling her that to go with it). All Hayato is saying that it is okay to live her life the way she wants. He promises to look after them. His words remind her of grandma as she ponders if it’s okay to rely on him. It’s also okay to fall in love with him. Just saying… The rest discuss about Akane and her day off. She claims she plays in a band but since she never wants to play before them, they joke it is something fishy. When Hayato is in town to get a new toaster, he overheard some girls talking how great a guitarist and vocalist Akane is. I bet there’s only 1 Akane in this whole town. So yeah, Hayato goes to watch her live indie band. After that he talks to her as we see a very rare shock and flustering emotion from her. Apparently she is embarrassed to perform before the rest. He assures her she can continue to make music while the café matters he will handle. He has also bought a CD of her song because her music moved him. Though, he comments on her band name having no impact. Moja Moja Hige Girls, he suggests?! When the girls have their day off together, they talk about Hayato. Is he an herbivore because they’re such hot and sexy girls and yet nothing happens. You want something to happen?! Even with the recent mishaps of him seeing them naked, they still think nothing will happen with this virgin boy. Then they talk about their prospects about them marrying him. Heck, they don’t even see him getting married. But wait. Akane claims she might! Even if she’s just joking, this shocks everyone because, Akane jokes? Ami fools around and crashes into Hayato as he just returns. Can a little fanservice ease the mad boy? Guess not.

Episode 6
Trolling us that Hayato and Shiragiku and doing some unholy activity together, huh?! Turns out they’re making sandwiches for the menu. Riho wants to help but Hayato thinks Shiragiku is sufficient to teach him. However the duo soon butt heads because Shiragiku wants to make the traditional sandwiches like grandma while Riho thinks the more updated and trendy version would be better. So they both make theirs for Hayato to try. However he is full from the abomination sandwiches he made earlier. He has them let the other girls try to decide while he goes to rest. Yeah, this saves him the decision of picking and offending the other. So later everybody tastes it and finds it both delicious. Of course Ami the forever glutton finds Hayato’s abomination good and wants this added to the menu too. Ouka is worried since Ami is acting strange. Even Hayato notices that she is being helpful! Akane reveals that she lost to somebody in a karate tournament. So when he talks to her about it, she admits to that. After all, that person she lost to represents Japan. Worse, her coach told her off harshly. Hayato gives some advice especially not to be stubborn by sticking to just a simple move. Just remember how she was strong when she beat up those punks. This gives Ami the much needed motivation as she returns to normal. That’s right. She is going to use other moves instead of Hadouken! Yes, that was what she was trying to pull off against her opponent! No wonder she lost and her coach was mad! Ami then accidentally drops her dumbbell on his newly bought laptop! Oh sh*t! Wanna squeeze those boobs? HAYATO SQUEEZES THEM BUT IT WON’T BRING BACK HIS LAPTOP! Ouka too picks up the dumbbell and accidentally drops on his new handphone! OMFG!!! SERIOUSLY?! Can he squeeze her boobs too?!

When the café is busy, Hayato calls Riho upstairs for help but she insists she can’t. Then he tries to get Akane or Ouka to help but Riho prevents him from walking into the room. When he forces his way, oh wow, they’re changing! Had a nice view? Now get out! The busy day ended as Hayato thinks back how none of the girls were helpful today. But then he remembers all the stuffs he told them like try not to push too hard or can’t force them to work while they have classes and some take the initiative to help him on their own accord, yeah, now he looks like a selfish dick and realizes he has been relying on them too much. He realizes they are strangers at the end of the day and not real family. He has no one left to call family. So as he goes upstairs to make this clear to them, suddenly they surprise him with a party. It was all Riho’s plan to celebrate 2 months of successfully running Familia. Everybody was busy preparing for today and that’s why they couldn’t help. In fact, that underwear scene was improvised by Riho. Noting Hayato will be sharp enough to notice the decorations, hence she told the girls to just strip as distraction! All of them are grateful for him allowing them a place to stay and call home. No more strangers, right? Yeah, they heard his whole monologue thingy too. The party gets started but it ends on somewhat a gloomy note. At least for Akane. A call from mom and she doesn’t look enthusiastic about it.

Episode 7
Ami’s boobs are sore because Hayato squeezed them too hard?! Hey, at least they still maintain its shape!!! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… Akane’s advice: Should’ve squeezed them softer… But that night, Hayato confronts Akane and can tell that she wants to quit (he could also tell she has quit her band). Yeah, her actions have been strange lately. She admits she is moving out by the month end and WTF offers him to squeeze her boobs?! Hayato, you’re making me think you’re gay!!! But Hayato needs a favour from her: Go out on a date with him tomorrow. Sorry to disappoint you, it’s just to let him know on some of the workings of the café before she leaves! Expecting to be taken to a movie or something? Then they return to Familia so Akane can brew him one last coffee. She wonders why he never asked her reason of leaving. Basically, he is not forcing anyone to tell and respects their wishes. Okay, cue for Akane to tell him. She comes from a famous trading family. Her dad died young so mom wanted her to take over and produce an heir. Yes, there is an arranged marriage for her. Of course she wanted a year off to do things she wanted before all that and now it’s been a year. Time to go home. Hayato points out her lie and he hates that. Yeah, why her coffee tastes like sh*t?! That is when other girls barge in because they overheard it too and don’t want her to leave. So what will it be, Akane? Hayato will respect your decision. She wants to stay. In that case, he’ll help her. See those genuine tears? You bet.

That day comes as Akane’s mom is here to talk to them. OMFG, she has dead fish eyes?! Anyway, Akane is shocked when Hayato tells her to tell mom herself. So she says she wants to stay. But mom isn’t convinced. You’re coming home. It looks like the whole thing ended but then Hayato starts scolding Akane. Why isn’t she saying anything? At this rate, it will happen exactly as it is. Mom is telling you to come home and she isn’t making clear her intentions. When she blames him for reneging on his promise to help her, he fires back that he will not help anyone who can’t even look at her mom in the eye and say no. That is when Akane decides to brew some coffee for mom. Meanwhile Ami reports to the rest the status: Hayato telling Akane to leave! Oh boy. Sure left out lots of details, huh?! Mom gets a taste of the coffee. Then she starts talking about her life as a diplomat and was happy with what she did and the inheritance thingy did not come across her mind. Unlike Akane who never finished what she started. If that’s the case, she would just drag her back home to be the heir. But drinking her coffee, she can clearly tell what she has been doing here and allows her to stay. OMFG, her eyes now has life! Learning of Hayato, she hints she knows his grandma. The other girls barge in to plead for Akane to stay. A little too late because the talk’s over. And Hayato got beaten up for nothing. As mom leaves, she will turn down that arranged marriage. Akane wants to marry the one she loves so mom hints she has a lot of rivals and on her family’s name, she better win! Deny all you want, Akane. Mom can read you like a book. Later Akane goes to thank Hayato by hugging him (Hayato further proves his gayness by shrugging off her hug). Had not for his yelling, things would’ve turned out differently. In fact, Hayato wanted to scold more intensely but held back a lot. Now he can drink her coffee for a little longer.

Episode 8
Summer is here so Hayato wants to enlist the girls’ help to work at the beach house he is planning to hold. Everybody is up for it but wonders where he got the funds. Well, he put 4 months of revenue into this and is going all in on this wager! Well, if the investment is already made, no choice but to go through it. So they think about the uniforms as well as the special menu. Ouka comes up with this semi-swimsuit version. A bit risqué so she teases Hayato about it. Riho won’t lose out and comes back with a real swimsuit to up the teasing. It gets worse because somehow Shiragiku gets drunk on alcohol laced wipes and is close to naked all over him. He thought Akane is back to save his skin but she just announces she is back in her band who has renamed the group as Moja Moja Hige Girls. Really. After Shiragiku makes her prototype watermelon parfait, Hayato is going to take some shots but Ami photo bombs it. Ouka already ate some and they don’t have any watermelons left. Riho then has an idea. The ladies dress in their uniform while Hayato takes photos of them with the sea as the background for their promotional material. They’re more natural when they start playing in the water. Surprisingly but not, the photos went viral. First day of the beach house, it’s a busy day so Hayato is glad he bet it right. Later Riho sees Akane chatting with Hayato. Somehow she gets pissed off thinking they are slacking and chides them. They were just discussing about some efficiency suggestions. Embarrassed, Riho continues to get irritated. See, annoyed so much that she collapses! Riho dies and gets the isekai treatment! JUST KIDDING! A nightmare about somebody leaving her. She wakes up in her room clinging onto Hayato. Learning he was concerned about her and all (yeah, don’t do this collapsing thing again, bad for his heart), a relieved Riho puts his hand on her face and apologizes. She wants him to accompany her to go apologize Akane but too bad she is on her own. Oh my, don’t get worked up again…

Episode 9
Shiragiku tells Riho that Hayato was very concerned about her after she collapsed. Riho thinks of going to thank him but sees hot babes trying to flirt with him at the counter. Of course she blows her top and Hayato gets the wrong idea she got mad for being concern. Then Fuwa’s grandson and his cohorts are here seemingly harassing Riho. Hayato gives Ami permission to scare them. I’m sure they can recognize who she is despite she wore masks of Jason, Pennywise and Ghostface!!! You guys better run like hell if you know what’s good for you. After Ami tells Riho about Hayato being concerned about her, Riho once more has a change in heart and decides to go make amends. What do you know? More hot babes trying to flirt with him. Is he that eligible? Well, we all know that kind of face Riho will make. The girls take a break as they don their swimsuits to go play in the sea. Akane hinting to Hayato that she is writing her first love ballad for summer. Care to hear the lyrics? Too bad Hayato is fishing and reeled in something big. Oh, it’s just Ami. Wasted. When some guy from the TV network is here to interview beach houses, he recognizes Riho. Well, do you not know her? She was a famous child star 15 years ago! This has some customers now remember who she is and of course some nothing her fall from grace. Riho can’t take the pressure and runs away. Obviously Riho is now feeling depressed as we see flashbacks of her pleading her dad not to go and will work harder. Then there were rumours at that time mom was overworking her and dad did not want that as he was very concerned with her health. Eventually her parents divorced and this devastated Riho. Hayato goes to talk to Riho and credits her sociable nature was something she worked hard to achieve instead of being naturally talented. Riho laments how child stars are dispensable and they looked at a new child star after she fell out of favour. She felt all her hard work only tore her family apart. Regardless of her family situation, Hayato credits her social skills as to why Familia is successful and needs it now and forever more. Therefore he is telling her not to overdo it because he is worried about her health. Those exact same words as dad said. This makes Riho bawl like a baby as she clings onto Hayato, telling him never to leave her. Next day, Riho returns to normal as the rest of the girls accept her for who she is although Shiragiku and Akane already have an idea of who she was. Riho tells Hayato to keep last night’s crying a secret. Because, well, it was just her acting! Care to act it out again?

Episode 10
What’s this? Ouka is now a stuck up uptight b*tch? She just made Ami cry?! Ami seeks comfort in the arms of Ouka after being bullied by Ouka. Eh… What?! Oh s*t. 2 Oukas?! Doppelganger?! Turns out she is Kikka and Ouka’s younger twin sister. As their parents are worried she didn’t come back for Obon, Kikka is here to check on her. Kikka doesn’t know about Familia well so she starts lashing her tongue on all the shady characters her sister has been living with. Technically, NOT WRONG! Kikka continues her tirade about their family’s prestigious Tokyo University pedigree thingy while she continues to be involved in some lowly job. With more badmouthing, cue for Ouka to slap her sister and send her running out in tears. Do as you wish. My, that’s enough family drama for today. Obviously Ouka starts spacing out and being clumsy during her shifts while Kikka is weirdly disguising herself and observing everyone in Familia. Ouka continues to ponder and blames herself for Kikka’s choices. Because she wanted to become a fashion designer and not go to a proper university, Kikka said she will do it all in her stead. Hayato then talks to Ouka that Kikka has been seen around Familia acting strangely. He is giving her the day off tomorrow to settle things. So as the sisters talk, Kikka admonishes Ouka for thinking it was her own fault that led to this. She clears the air she is doing this for herself. Ouka has been acting self-depreciating around her since and when she visited to check on her, she got treated like a villain. So she is also mad because Ouka never made cute outfits for her? Kikka breaks down after Ouka apologizes for the slap. As she brings her back to apologize for everything, oh wow, look at the sexy shenanigans the other girls are having with Hayato. Okay, maybe some other time. Thankfully Akane treats her with her favourite pumpkin cheesecake so it isn’t all that bad. That night, Ouka goes to thank Hayato for the advice. But how could he tell Kikka was not her? He was the only one who could distinguish them at first go. Even their parents had trouble doing so. Oh you see, Kikka is a lefty while Ouka is right hander. More importantly, Ouka would never have badmouthed a family member like Ami because among all of them, she is the most caring. Ouka praises him for being big hearted despite Kikka badmouthed Familia. But then, he gets all petty that Ouka never told her he too is a Tokyo University student and got accepted during high school. Dafaq?

Episode 11
As Hayato is busy thinking about his business management, Akane comes in to, let’s just say flirt with him and trying to lead him on. She hints he is being perceptive and knows one of them is in love with him. Despite Hayato claiming he is busy with managing the business and has no time for that, Akane gets flirtier. Then she trolls him about the stars and weather. You didn’t really think there was more to that, do you? Akane leaves but looking at his answer at all, she notes she’ll hold off her confession for now. With the bathroom broken, time to visit the public bathhouse. That’s right. Bathhouse fanservice and shenanigans! Time to get the ball rolling when the wagashi lady asks if they are in love with Hayato. Some disagree but it is obvious with Akane and Riho looking forlorn… With Riho’s thoughts jumbled on this, Akane then confronts her and tells her she has told Hayato she liked him. So if Riho insists she has no feelings for him, then Akane is free to get his heart, can she? After bath, Hayato accompanies Riho to do errands. While they chat, Riho’s mind is preoccupied with what Akane said. What was Hayato’s reply? More importantly, what does Hayato think of her? Then she lets it slip as she claims she is in love with him. Hayato answers that he is quite busy handling the business so he has no time to think about it although he is happy for it. So did he escape? But anyhow, it makes Riho feel happy. But soon first blood is drawn when Riho sees Akane getting too close to Hayato as she teaches him how to make coffee. Time to stomp your foot down. Akane’s smug look. Riho’s angry face. Oh sh*t. World war might start. Smart Hayato gets the f*ck out of there!!! Akane teases Riho having no feelings for Hayato as Riho counters that by claiming she does. Meanwhile Hayato in the streets hear the people talking about cute waitresses fighting over a guy! OMFG, did he actually think it’s them?! Blaming himself for being too attractive?! Before the cat fight can begin, Ami comes in to give them some mud ball and drop them because if it breaks they have to stop fighting? HUH?! Akane and Riho then reconcile. Akane admitting she was doing this because every time Riho wanted to say something, she just held back and bottled it up. So now she’s made it clear. At this time, Hayato has returned and tells them he has no intentions of having romantic relations. So stop fighting over him. However he gets confused over this mud ball thingy and thinks this is another trolling. Poor guy, runs out all confused and crying! WTF?! Akane and Riho renew their friendly rivalry that they won’t hold back. And so it begins… Late that night, Hayato catches Shiragiku searching through grandma’s stuffs.

Episode 12
Hayato thinks of coming up with a new menu. However Ouka teases him for wanting to make the girls do the job for him. But Akane and Riho agree with him because obviously they’re trying to score points with him. Later Hayato has Shiragiku teach him how to make some cake so he doesn’t have to rely on the girls when they move out. Of course this makes Shiragiku sad for him thinking such way. Aren’t they always family? He apologizes and changes his mind she can stay here anytime. Then she asks if anything happened recently. Oh you know, romantic confessions. Obviously he is a bad liar. Suddenly Shiragiku hugs him and claims she has someone she likes. But she feared of going out with him for fear of making him sad. Woah. Serious? Since Shiragiku wiped some alcohol wipes, you know what comes next. Why is it that at such moments, somebody must come in? Thankfully it’s only Akane. Oh, she’s not going to help? You sure of letting Shiragiku molest him like that? After he puts her to bed, he wonders how much of what she said was sober. As Hayato and Shiragiku in town and then they heard the local shopkeepers talking about some 3 star restaurant, this makes Shiragiku panic so Hayato knows she knows something. This prompts him to ask what she was searching in grandma’s room. Flashback time. Her father was a chef disciple under grandma. When he found Familia, he told grandma he came back to open his own restaurant. It was then Shiragiku first saw Hayato. Yeah, a rude little rascal. Grandma had Shiragiku bring some ice cream to him. Unfortunately outside she tripped and dirtied Fuwa’s shoes. Of f*ck. That scary face and tone. What can a poor girl like her do if apologies aren’t enough? Hayato splashes the hose at him. There, feel clean? Well, it made him blow his top but with other people around commenting how childish for him to get mad at a kid, he leaves in a huff. So, Shiragiku has been hiding the fact that grandma was a chef from him. Why? Well, when Shiragiku came back to work under grandma, she had her promise not to tell a secret to Hayato. Apparently what Shiragiku was trying to find were photos of grandma working as a chef in Spain. Knowing this, Hayato now knows he was the reason she quit being a chef.

You see, when grandma was working at a head chef in Spain for 15 years and helped her establishment get 3 stars, she then had plans to open her own restaurant called Anehelo. But before that worked out, she cancelled it and returned to Japan. It was the same time Hayato’s parents were killed and she took him in. So you can see why Hayato blames himself although Shiragiku begs to differ. Sure, grandma could’ve opened one right in Japan. But it had to be in a prime location like Tokyo to be at least profitable. Doing so would have left Hayato all alone here. Knowing grandma, she wouldn’t leave her grandchild alone even if she were to financially struggle. Hence Anehelo is Spanish for longing. Hayato believes the reason why Shiragiku told him about the kind of guy she would date and marry was that the only way he would figure out if grandma was a chef was if they were married since her father was her disciple. As for grandma regretting her choice, Shiragiku says no. She once asked her about it and she said she had never. Her reason for living was Hayato. He realizes he has got a lifetime of grandma’s love here in this café and he isn’t going to let it go under. Shiragiku also tells him her other promise is that to support him as his family no matter what. Nice moment ruined because the other girls eavesdrop this and are crying like babies. Poor grandma! Yeah, not Hayato. We take a peek into the future with Hayato now a father and has a daughter. It is hinted that one of those 5 waitresses her mom. GUESSING TIME! Now we go back in time as Hayato and the girls enjoy their picnic. Shiragiku notes that since she doesn’t have to keep grandma’s past a secret anymore, she is free to proclaim herself as Hayato’s girlfriend candidate! This shocks Ouka because the way she says it, there are others too?! Oh Ouka, you’re being left behind?! When is your turn?! Shiragiku gets embarrassed and accidentally drinks Riho’s wine. Oh boy. We’re done making food, can we make a baby?! OH MAH GOD, SHIRAGIKU!!!

How I Met Your Mother: 5 Girls, A Guy And A Coffee Terrace
Oh wow. So I take it they’re not going to continue and get another season? Hold on a second. It is getting another season! I mean, after teasing us like that of Hayato’s future, it is only right that we get another season so we can guess who his wife is! Yeah, they manage not to give away too much hints but my guts are ringing like hell and speculate that person he is married to could be… AMI!!! OMFG!!! MY REASON WHY!? Well, the daughter had the closest hair colour to Ami and the most damning and evident proof: She is a bit dumb!!! OMFG!!! SAY IT ISN’T SO!!! And what about the rest of the waitresses who lost out to be Hayato’s wife? They got heartbroken and committed suicide! WTF am I thinking?! HOLY SH*T! I hope the next season proves me wrong!!!

I don’t think there is any sort of proper storyline here. A guy running a café with his live-in waitresses, uhm, doesn’t that sound very boring? Sorry folks, nobody turns into secret warriors to slay some dragon king before it burns down the world! Hah! Not that kind of fantasy. In the end, it isn’t about how Hayato is going to manage the café but rather how he is going to manage his girls. Ah yes, that’s where all the drama comes in and if you’re into that sort of genre like all those sappy modern Korean dramas (?!), then you’ll likely find this one appealing too.

Obviously the whole series would have been a notch boring had it not baited us with fanservice. Ah yes, what else is there to do when you have 5 cuties working as a waitress run by a single male. That’s right. All healthy young people here. I won’t say the fanservice moments are heavy as they are shown more sparingly throughout the series and episodes themselves. On occasions if you are paying attention, then you will be ‘rewarded’ with a fanservice scene like panty flashing, bath scenes and the likes. Even some shocking ones like Riho showing her panties to Hayato. I mean, really? And if there isn’t going to be enough fanservice quota for the episode, then they just have to force it with Shiragiku and her drunken behaviour as she strips down to her birthday suit and getting all merry about it over lucky Hayato. Yeah, it’s the only reason why they wrote her character as so. There’s literally no other reason I can think of even if you can somehow change my mind on it.

Without a solid plot to go with, the series hinges on the characters. They’re mostly a mixed baggage and if you’ve watched a lot of dramas in this genre, you’ll tend to see that kind of familiar formula. Oh you know, new kid in town, nobody likes him, spend some time with the fellow, find out he isn’t all that bad since he helped them in some ways with their personal issues, feelings of the heart start causing trouble, love complicates things… Yeah. That one. So basically our characters here tick off the checklist of tropes in such genres. The main character and the lone guy (obviously the series is targeted for male audience), the feisty one, the dumb one, the shy one, the quiet one and the sneaky one. Feel free to match which characters I’m referring to.

So let’s start off with Hayato. In a sentence, he is not the most romantic guy out there. Not the kind of guy who can sweep you off your feet with his charming and suave words because Hayato doesn’t have all that. Instead, he is quite blunt and straight to your face even if it means hurting you. Despite that, he is quite perspective and observant and perhaps knows what is mostly going on. As the new manager of Familia, this is a very much needed trait. This helps keep everybody toe to line as well as helping the business to stay afloat. Imagine if he was a pervy and one of those loser types, I think the café will close down at the end of the first episode! Everyone will just leave this dude without hesitation. So yeah, Hayato having this moody looks is not because he is a heartless bastard but rather this is the kind of tough love he gives for everyone. Including himself. That’s why the final episode that fleshes out more of his grandma was so that he could not live with the guilty fact that it was him who ended grandma’s dream. Sure, it wasn’t his fault but guys like him are inclined to think like that. Thus with Shiragiku as ‘witness’ to exonerate him of such guilt, now he can move on with no regrets. Grandma can now truly rest in peace.

Sometimes you think he is too busy trying to figure things to keep the business in the black and that’s the excuse why he doesn’t have time for romance. It’s also a good formula so we don’t get distracted by romantic shenanigans if he ever so initiated them. Because it isn’t so bad if the girls were the ones who took the initiative. Because of that, sometimes I wonder if this guy is gay because he keeps resisting our cute girls as some have given very bold signals and this guy doesn’t even flinch. But then again, have to remember that Hayato is a guy so his options are limited. The gender inequality once again at play. If the roles were reversed, Hayato would’ve been hit with sexual harassment lawsuits but if the girls do it, it’s all cheeky flirty fun. Also, Hayato is already a college student and he doesn’t even have a girlfriend?! Unbelievable! I’m really starting to think he is gay! Oh wait. His moody looks. Yeah, that may have turned off a lot of college girls who want to tackle him. So staying single could be a blessing disguise for the Familia girls because Hayato without a girlfriend, they are free to pursue that romantic interest without that obstacle.

They leave it a little late but I suppose now you can clearly see the frontrunners for Hayato’s love are Akane and Riho. This is only so as the initial episodes try to build up the relationship as the characters interact with each other. I mean, it would be totally unbelievable if suddenly some of the girls take a liking for him, right? That would make the whole romantic drama a lot cheesier. Therefore with the initial episodes fleshing out all those interactions, then only towards the end it becomes justified and a whole lot believable that Akane and Riho have finally realized their feelings for Hayato. This is why the duo are the only ones who have their past and whatever issues fleshed out and somewhat resolved. The single cour isn’t enough to flesh out the rest so these two will do for now.

Akane and Riho are like day and night, their personalities are so different and hence their approach to tackling Hayato will be a lot different too. Akane is more of the quiet and reserved type, likes to drop subtle hints. Can you say she’s got some sort of communication problem? The reason why she can’t articulate her intentions clearly unless forced to and even so via other actions be it making coffee or her music. Riho is more outgoing, her bustling personality may be a big tease. Despite being a lively person, it all feels like false bravado that screams she wants some sort of attention. That’s why she is most likely the first to scream her head off at Hayato, right? Either way, all gloves are off between them for Hayato’s attention. May the best girl win? As long as this doesn’t affect their work, I suppose it is okay. Imagine drinking coffee that tastes like sh*t while watching a love triangle drama unfold right in the middle of the shop! We didn’t pay for such crap! No wonder the coffee tastes so much worse…

With the duo making the most impact, I’m not saying that the rest aren’t but in terms of the race to Hayato’s heart, there is a big gap as Akane and Riho are leaving the rest in their wake. Based on my guts, I was certain that Ouka would’ve been the kind who would have been at least the frontrunner for Hayato’s heart. You know, among the girls, she is the feistiest and butting heads with Hayato. You know it when a boy and a girl start disagreeing too many times, right? Right now, she looks more of a tsundere and I also bet that she too has some feelings for Hayato. My biggest evidence is not moments of Hayato saying something really cool that makes her react so. Rather, remember the time Kikka visited and she ran her mouth and trashed everyone with her accusations that were scarily close to the truth? One of them included as she claimed that one of them among the girls is likely in love with Hayato. She is referring to Ouka, right?! Because the twins know each other’s thoughts as pointed out and by saying that it means she is saying that Ouka is having feelings for the guy. Kikka doesn’t know Akane and Riho well at that point and while she may just be randomly shooting her mouth, that to me is the biggest hint that Ouka does have feelings for Hayato. After all, Ouka too has that moody looks that matches Hayato. Just saying…

Then there is Ami. Ah yes, every group needs some joker. She is the epitome of a dumb blonde and a muscle brain. Being the most active girl who leaps before she looks, she is responsible for a lot of dumb happenings and jokes among the group. I want to claim that this behaviour of hers is hiding and masking a very tragic past. Oh you know, an abused child from a broken family! But since they didn’t flesh out any of her past at all, I’m just going to believe that Ami is just a dumb girl. Heh. And that’s an understatement! Therefore with all her silly antics, this is easy for us to write her off as a close contender for Hayato’s heart. Really. You think Hayato will fall for this girl? So many times he is not amused with her shenanigans. Guess who is the one who broke his laptop the most times?! That’s you Ami. You’re leading the count. For better or worse, Ami being this retarded character means better rivalry and chances for those who are after Hayato’s heart. Unless you tell me this silliness is all part of an act to mask her love for him. NAH!!! She’s just a clown, baby! The way she goes into a vegetative state after running out of fuel (fancy term of saying how she doesn’t get fed) is prove that she is the group’s eternal resident joker.

Finally there is Shiragiku. They really leave it to the last episode to reveal the truth about her. But for the rest of the episode, she is what I would say still waters run deep. She may have overlapping characteristics with Akane but she is shyer in that sense. Because of her kind demeanour too, her presence is even less noticeable compared to Akane. Hence many will only remember her as the wild girl who strips whenever she gets a little alcohol in her system. Then she becomes the wildest among the pack. Best striptease ever. What if this is Shiragiku’s true personality? And that being the shy girl was just an act to cover up everything? Oh wow. It seems my theory here has everybody putting on fake masks to hide something. Anyway, in this context Shiragiku could be the most dangerous of them all. Right now she’s just a sexy streaker who wants to have fun when drunk. Thank goodness it is not some badass delinquent BDSM queen! Oh my! Now that she has come clean with her competition and announcing that she is also in the competition, Riho and Akane better not sleep on the job. It’s no more a 2 horse race, you know.

Lastly, the most important girl of the series and the backbone of everyone, you have to agree with me it is Hayato’s grandma, right? Hayato may be one thing in keeping the current family sticking together. But had not grandma laid the foundation, that glue may have worn off very fast. Thanks to grandma’s great words of advice, this is the main reason why the girls continue to stick around after her passing. Even more so when Hayato spouts the same lines grandma did, you could say those lines despite not being the most romantic catchphrases to tackle a girl’s heart, they’re the clincher that opens their heart as they find themselves drawn closer to him. Word for word. So exact. Definitely grandma’s boy. It makes grandma’s words to sound even more credible because what she says about Hayato and the likes have all come true. The only sad part is of course she is no longer around and Hayato can’t reconcile with her. Say all you want about making peace and moving forward but it would have been a lot better if all this was settled while she was alive. What’s done cannot be undone. No more chances now. RIP for real, grandma. Hayato’s grown up to be real man. Too bad she won’t be around to tease his wife like hell. Oh grandma…

While the art and animation are pretty standard because obviously all the main heroines look super cute and of the bishoujo type (where else in the world where you can get 5 super kawaii cute girls working in the same café?), however I noticed that the colouring and hues of this series is somewhat quite light and faint. It’s like the production didn’t want to waste too much money in making the visuals look vividly bright and hence the visual tones looking quite light. Are we counting on these beauties to make the visuals shine through? Well, it worked somehow. At least for me. After all, the girls themselves have different hairstyles and colour for our easy differentiation. Heh. This anime is done by Tezuka Productions so if you find the visuals somewhat (cutely) familiar, it’s because they are the same studio who made Kanojo Mo Kanojo, Go-toubun No Hanayome and Tsundere Akuyaku Reijou Liselotte To Jikkyou No Endou-kun To Kaisetsu No Kobayashi-san.

No complaints about the voice acting although I was confused when I found out that Asami Seto was the one behind Akane’s voice. And here I thought it was her voicing Ami because I was so certain that Ami sounded much like Chihayafuru’s Chihaya. Imagine to my surprise it is not. So she was behind Akane’s character and it was rather Sayumi Suzushiro behind Ami (Takemoto in Bokutachi Wa Benkyou Ga Dekinai). Yeah, so shock I am. The rest of the other casts include Masaaki Mizunaka as Hayato (Diablo in Isekai Maou To Shoukan Shoujo No Dorei Majutsu), Ruriko Aoki as Ouka (Yuuko in Muv-Luv Alternative), Aya Yamane as Riho (Benisumomo in Kunoichi Tsubaki No Mune No Uchi), Azumi Waki as Shiragiku (Fina in Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear) and Sumire Uesaka as Kikka (Shalltear in Overlord).

I don’t think much of the opening theme, Unmei Kyoudoutai by Neriame. Sounds like your generic upbeat anime pop. But the weird part is the opening credits animation whereby the waitresses are lining up and dancing. I don’t know, personally it looks more cringe than cute. If they think that such dance would be passed off as cute (because you know, cute girls prancing about), then so sorry it did not work for me. I wonder if the reason why I like the casual jazzy ending theme, Dramatic by Miki Satou is because it sounds close to the theme of an old anime series, Lovely Complex. Must be it.

Overall, this is just an average romance drama story with all the usual tropes and clichés. None that breaks any new grounds whatsoever. Because such genres might get a bit boring, that is why the harem part and the fanservice to bait male audiences like yours truly as motivation to stick to this series till the end of the season. But if you really want a café anime with some sort of romance without the sleazy drops of fanservice but with more slapstick comedy, I would recommend Working! Yeah. That one. Otherwise this is just an ordinary cup of Joe served by ordinary girls. That’s right, no goddesses or angels serving you in the café. Just ordinary girls with a touch of humanly love. Oh God, I think my cup of coffee has gone too extra sweet now… Maybe next season can reduce some of that sweetness. Oh heck, I’ll add more of that to it! More sugar and milk, please!

Looks like we need some ecchi anime this season. Perhaps last season’s perverted guild was too obvious and too hot for some to handle. So maybe they needed to tone down a bit (just a teensy wee bit) and make it not so obvious. In the sense that we need to have fanservice moments like peeking on a girl’s panties and get smothered in her boobs without the girl getting mad. The girl will allow such perverted acts without a second thought. So how to do this impossibility? Why, you turn the main character into a dog!!! That’s right. You heard me right. And so Inu Ni Nattara Suki Na Hito Ni Hirowareta has our main character turned into a little pooch and this is enough of the excuse for some ecchi fanservice. Sure, this isn’t the first time a guy has been turned into a dog (Inu To Hasami Wa Tsukaiyou is more of a psychotic b*tch abusing-cum-threatening the dog with her pair of scissors and has nothing so sexy about it) but I guess when you’re in dog form, it gives a free pass to look upskirt from a low angle and do lewd stuffs that human boys aren’t allowed to do. Cuteness > perversion. Freaking lucky dog…

Episode 1
Our main character is confused! He wonders why Karen Inukai picks him up from the streets. But I guess he is too cold and too tired to figure things out. Even when Inukai puts him close to her boobs. She brings him back to her house. He sees her mom. Damn, so hot and young! It seems Inukai puts on a sour face when mom enters the scene like as though she is not impressed or appreciative or whatever she is doing. He notes he has never seen this lively side of Inukai as in school she always has that cold demeanour. Before he knows it, he is in the bath with Inukai! OMG! Then she starts stripping and baths with him! Then in the mirror he realizes he is a dog! Woof! Gentleman tries not to look but too bad, he’s seen everything. Lucky bastard! Now he watches her bath herself before they go into the tub. She happily frolics with him. WTF she nibbles and licks his nose! THIS IS FREAKING CREEPY! Happiness combo ends when mom says dinner is ready. Time to get out. After retiring to her room, Inukai tries to teach him tricks. At first he is hesitant to obey because it means he has resigned to being a dog. Then as she tries to get him to shake her hand, he realizes in class he would never have this chance to hold her hand. So he shakes her hand and brings Inukai a whole load of ecstasy. She names him Pochita.

Episode 2
Pochita tries to go back home as his room is the last place he remembers being human. If his dog paws could only open the door. Inukai thinks he wants to go out for a walk so after putting on a collar, out they go. Pochita is in a dilemma walking with her because with this low point of point, he could see her pantsu. Inukai is enjoying this walk with him when suddenly he notices a baseball flying her way. He jerks, causing her to fall down on him. Your cue for doggie to have his nose on her crotch. Bad doggie can’t have that but what’s this? Thinking his nose is a bit injured, she wants to lick it?! Interrupted when those repenting kids want their baseball back. Oh sh*t. Inukai’s face just turned yandere! They apologize and make their way. Don’t look back, she might kill you! Then Pochita needs to take a leak. Thinking of protecting his human dignity, he tries to hold it in. He can’t. He does his business as Inukai happily snaps away! OMG. This woman is psycho! Back in her room, Pochita tries to confess he loves her but obviously she doesn’t understand doggie language. He is surprised that Mike Nekotani is here. This gyaru bimbo is his neighbour whom he hardly talks to. She is here to study with Inukai. Seems she is very frisky with her too although Inukai doesn’t react to it. Pochita then realizes if he warms up to Nekotani, she might bring him back to his home and solve this mystery. When Inukai leave the room, Pochita gets ready to approach her.

Episode 3
However the moment Pochita gets close, Nekotani becomes scared. So, she has a fear of dogs? She is cowering and trying to get away from the pup. Pochita then realizes a centipede crawling onto her back. She is so scared that she didn’t notice. He tries to warn her but she is still in fear. As she tries to run out, she trips and gets knocked out a little. The centipede has crawled into her shirt! Oh boy. Time to get down and dirty. Yeah, Pochita crawling underneath her shirt and trying to get it out. He manages to do it but after all the tumbling and rolling, Nekotani regains consciousness and throws him out. She thinks she has gone overboard and starts to get scared. Pochita approaches her and the only way to dispel the fear is to lick her wound. Ticklish, eh? However this is spotted by Inukai. Oh damn, those piercing eyes. Guess what? She purposely injures her feet so that Pochita could lick it! Good boy. Then the yandere interrogates Nekotani if she did this on her own. It was an accident. Now the sick woman forces Pochita to crawl underneath her dress too! Pochita realizes this won’t end until he obliges. Yeah, Inukai feeling so good and this is proof of their bond! WTF?! In the end, Nekotani doesn’t fear Pochita a lot and thanks him for what he did. Though, Inukai still jealous about it. You think we’ve had enough for today but Inukai returns in a sexy dog outfit. Still wanna play? Oh. My God…

Episode 4
B*tch in a sexy dog outfit trying to flirt with a pooch. Heck, she even got this device that translates dog language! So when she asks if Pochita loves her, a single bark translates… Oh, that devastation on her face. Basically it says no! Stupid translator. She won’t give up and continues flirting. Then mom opens the door to check on her. Uhm. Okay. Whatever. Just don’t hurt yourself. When she asks is it okay for people to be into weird stuffs, this reminds Pochita of his own. As a loner, he is in the gardening club and enjoys watering plants. Yeah, no need to talk to humans. Until Inukai told him that there is nothing weird about his hobby. Just because you like something different doesn’t mean you’re weird. It was when he first started to have a crush on her. Soon a call from Nekotani that she forgot her pen. Maybe next time she can come to her place to study and bring Pochita along. Over the week, Pochita realizes Inukai coming home late. Then as she sleeps, he hatches a plan to use her phone to make a delivery to Nekotani’s place. When she opens the door, he’ll run back out to his home. Sounds easy if only Inukai isn’t grabbing him while she is asleep. Time to put the tongue to good use as he licks her fingers until she lets go. Wow. That orgasmic sleeping face. Best dream? Amazingly Pochita manages to make the order. With paws! How the f*ck can he do all that with paws?! Anyway, he realizes Inukai has been doing part time jobs to cover his expenses. This makes him wonder if it is okay to return to being human because it’ll be back to the same distant relationship with Inukai. Of course he must go back being human. He doesn’t want to deceive Inukai and one day tell her in his own words his feelings.

Episode 5
Now we’re outside Nekotani’s house. Nekotani ushers them in and before they study, they play games first. Pochita thinks of using this chance to escape but looks like Inukai has got her sights on him. Where do you think you are going? He makes a break for it as Nekotani tries to stop him. Pochita barks to make her feel scared. But what’s scarier than this? Yandere Inukai thinking they’re flirting! Then the delivery is here. As the girls are confused over this Inukai’s order, Pochita dashes out. Nekotani once more tries to stop him as he realizes the railing is too high for him to jump over. Hence he is getting dirty with Nekotani like the last time in hopes she will fling him over. Yeah. It worked again! Had to lick her tits this time! Once flung over outside the balcony of his room, he realizes there is someone in his room who isn’t his parents. Why, it’s his gardening club junior, Usagi Tsukishiro. Looks like he is looking for him and also trying to find his porn mags to tease him?! More WTF, Pochita hiding underneath her skirt between her legs?! Does she not really feel anything underneath?! Or is she so obsessed in finding her senpai? She finds chocolates under his bed and tears it apart! Jealous he received chocolates from other girls. Pochita then remembers a girl giving it to him but can’t remember her face clearly. Tsukishiro then starts to cry as she is worried senpai has gone missing. But it can’t get more WTF than this as she starts masturbating herself using the corner of his desk???!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!! Just imagining riding her senpai’s hard dick!!!!!!!

Episode 6
Hearing his mom’s voice, she thanks Tsukishiro for helping to look for her son as well as water the plants in his room. Then she leaves. WTF Pochita follows her and still hiding underneath her skirt?! I thought he wanted to go home?! Soon she realizes this doggie following and picks it up. She thinks of adopting him. He then sees Inukai and Nekotani looking for him but the rain is too loud and drowns his bark. Upon reaching home, Tsukishiro collapses from fever. Yeah, she got soaked in the rain. Hence Pochita tries to get her all naked. Don’t even know how he manages to take off her dress but yeah, it’s for fanservice. Even more so as he unhooks her bra, we hear her screaming her jealousy over her senpai. Mind blowing part, how the f*ck can he take off her pantsu too?! Oh right. Fanservice. So is he going to leave her sleeping on the floor?! He finds some clothes and dumps it all over her to keep her warm. But fanservice logic dictates he must at least make her wear pantsu and another mind boggling moment how a dog can put it on. Paws put on those panties! Also, this moment is so that when he is doing so, Tsukishiro is dreaming of her senpai f*cking her hard!!! WTF???!!! Best dream ever. For us too! Once all that is over, Inukai and Nekotani are heard ringing the doorbell. You mean, they went house to house looking for a dog?! With this door unlock, they enter and see Tsukishiro. Just in time because she wakes up. Is it time for b*tch showdown over a dog?

Episode 7
Flashback shows Pochita disappointed that Inukai didn’t leave Valentine chocolates in his locker. He was really expecting it, huh? Then this strange girl (face not clearly shown), claims she somehow got Inukai’s chocolates with his name on it. Of course he was happy and didn’t suspect a thing. Back home, he happily eats everything until he passes out. He realizes too late it was a trap because that girl lied and definitely drugged the chocolates that turned him into a dog. Now Pochita wakes up in Tsukishiro’s room. All the girls are here. Wonder how Inukai knows where Pochita is? She placed a tracker on him! But took her this long to trace him? But now the real showdown begins. Inukai and Tsukishiro both claim Pochita is theirs. Inukai trying to show her superiority by stating how many hairs on Pochita???!!! OMFG!!! How many of them are brown too???!!! Best part, she also claims Pochita is hers because he goes to her crotch when she lifts up her skirt! Tsukishiro also claims the same thing and explains how Pochita undressed her! Oh God, those yandere eyes of Inukai… Both continue to fight over Pochita. Hope he doesn’t suffocate between their boobs. Nekotani suggests a duel to determine his real owner. Uhm, both will lift up their skirt and whoever Pochita goes to will be the owner???!!! WTF?! Naturally, Pochita sides with Inukai. However Tsukishiro won’t lose and puts a bone in her crotch! Extreme! WTF Pochita attract to it?! The girls start kicking each other and in that distraction, Tsukishiro bags Pochita under her skirt. As Tsukishiro revels in victory, Pochita sees Inukai’s sad crying face. Oh dear. You made her cry. However Nekotani notes Tsukishiro cheated with the bone and hence Inukai is the winner. Pochita sees Tsukishiro’s sad face but notes despite she loves him, he’ll never be her dog. Plus, he doesn’t want to see Inukai’s sad face again. As they leave, Tsukishiro vowing the next time she’ll make Pochita hers. So uhm, the b*tch rivalry is still on for them?

Episode 8
Pochita remembers that lab coat girl responsible for this. As she is from his school, the only way is to go there by sneaking into Inukai’s bag. Well, she’s not going to allow it. So how? Do those cute doggie begging tricks! That sure did the job. Of course she makes him promise to stay in the bag and not jump out. In class, Inukai is fixated at staring at him instead of paying attention. Oh well, if the teachers are scared of her… Next is PE class. See where this is going? Pochita in the flower garden having an awesome view of all the girls in lingerie. So I bet he is staying because of that! So much about plans about dashing out. During lunch, he notices Inukai eating alone and this is how she always does it. He remembers everyone from teachers to students avoid her like a plague. He too was like that at first. Inukai seems happy, though. As long she has him, she is fine. During class as they discuss about the cultural festival, Pochita then spots the lab coat girl. Needing to do something quick, WTF how did Pochita even jump up into and underneath Inukai’s shirt to lick her armpits to raise her hand so as to look like she wants to suggest something???!!! HOW???!!! WTF???!!! I don’t recall her clothes that loose?! With lab coat girl leering at him, Pochita realizes she did this on purpose. But with the dog out of the bag, the other girls take notice and want to hug him. Pochita evades them all until he gets caught. Realizing he broke his promise to Inukai, he needs to do something to make her want to bring him back to school again. And that is to let the girls rub his belly?! Wow. So many hands touching him like never before. But this only seems to make Inukai mad because it’s like Pochita is a slut! Anybody can touch him now?! I thought we had something special together?! With the students finally deciding they want to do a dog café and the teacher just agree to whatever, one of the girls want to keep Pochita since nobody knows who his owner. Time for Inukai to stand up and claim this doggie and put that b*tch in her place.

Episode 9
Inukai saying some embarrassing lines to prove Pochita is hers. If Pochita doesn’t do it, she’ll repeat it until kingdom come. Now the girls want Inukai to bring Pochita for the dog café. No matter how much Inukai shows her yandere eyes, the girls are not scared and before you know it, Inukai is roped in to help. Later the girls bring their dogs to the classroom to get them acclimatised. Nekotani comes to talk to Inukai and finds out what their class is doing. In need for some desperate fanservice, hence Nekotani in shock to see Pochita and trips over glue. Yeah, need to get white sticky stuff all over her!!! As Inukai goes to get some help, she leaves Pochita with her. Then all the dogs growl at her. Because Inukai’s class is doing a hotdog stand, yeah those canines must be hungry. Pervs. Nekotani fumbles again and trips on more glue. This time Pochita’s paws being stuck to her skirt. Hence she takes off her skirt to run while he is still in tow! WTF?! More dumb fanservice because she somehow trips and the rope ties her up. Pochita tries to save her but gets sandwiched between her thighs. Death by thicc-ness. With the sound of guys coming, Pochita wakes her up to hide. Yeah, imagine the chaos if they see a girl running around in her pantsu. Nekotani thinks Pochita is like the old one. Who? Showing a photo of a brightly smiling Inukai and her previous dog named Pochita. It’s the reason Inukai is scared of dogs. But a few years ago, it died and Inukai stopped smiling. Whatever she did came to of no avail. Now that Pochita is here, she’s opening up a lot more. Then Nekotani has this feeling Pochita isn’t a dog but a human since he is too smart. YOU THINK SO?!

Episode 10
Nekotani has to hold that thought as she now has to continue running from the dogs who have found her. I wonder if this is a ghost school because with so much commotion, nobody bother to peek out of their classroom to see a skirtless girl running away from a pack of dogs through the hallways?! Then this f*cking weird moment as Pochita controls Nekotani’s movement on where to turn by biting her ear! OMFG!!! Is this like that rat controlling that chef in Ratatouille???!!! Eventually he leads her into the swimming pool. Well, that washed off her hotdog smell so the dogs lose interest. On the other hand, her boobs are now open and free. Inukai is not impressed and thinks Nekotani and Pochita did something wild and wet together. Pochita vouches for Nekotani so Inukai must believe doggie, right? Now Inukai gets to stare are Nekotani drying herself. Don’t make Inukai any more yandere than she is. Back to helping the class, Pochita uses his paw prints as decorations. The classmates are excited to see this decoration and praise Inukai. Pochita realizes she had no friends but she’s just bad in talking to people. Seeing she was sad her previous dog died, he believes he needs to be that Pochita to make her smile again. Now Tsukishiro comes in wearing a Playboy bunny outfit. Her class is doing a bunny café seeing her senpai is a pervert. Inukai even agrees Pochita is one as he loves big boobs, gets into panties among other lewd activities! There’s your so called reputation, Pochita! Tsukishiro throws Inukai a challenge. The winner will be whosever class raises the most money. If Tsukishiro wins, she’ll get Pochita all to herself. Otherwise, she will never bother with him ever again. The fight is on!

Episode 11
The festival is in full swing. Inukai getting embarrassed by Pochita’s stares but also gets jealous when others touch him. But soon, not many customers are coming in. That’s because they all went over to the bunny café. Yeah, I bet the human bunnies are the ones raking in the money! Hence Inukai comes up with an idea: Let the dogs lick their feet?! Tsukishiro comes in to brag about her success. However as a customer, Inukai ushers in to her seat as she has Pochita lick her feet. Yeah, feet fetish degenerates gonna love this. And as we all know about Tsukishiro, she’s going to cum so hard that she falls off her chair! Other dogs also give their customers their orgasm but none will top Pochita, right? At the end of the day, the lab coat girl walks in. Looks like she is wants Pochita to lick her feet but he is reluctant. Then she poses a question to Inukai: What if her dog is actually human? That’s not possible, right? Then she adds if he was, will she continue to love him or hate him? Wow. Inukai starting to believe that? Look at how she’s sweating! Pochita tries to ‘avenge’ Inukai by licking her feet. Too bad no effect until much later. Albeit just a little. As she leaves, Inukai is still looking in despair. Pochita will not forgive her and follows her to an old abandoned school wing. Gee, like as though she wanted him to follow, eh? Yup. Inside this lab of hers, she welcomes the pooch and introduces herself as Inari Sakihira.

Episode 12
Pochita remembers that name as she has this reputation of doing crazy experiments. Inari reveals she has cameras laced all over Inukai’s home! That’s how she knows what he is doing. Yes. Everything! She makes him wear a gag ball if he wants to know how to turn back into a human. It seems this gag ball translates Pochita’s thoughts. First Inari shows all the modesty outraging scenes by Pochita. You love that, don’t you? Yup, see that wagging tail? That’s your true nature. So does he want to throw it all away and become human? Pochita says yes because he will confess to her as one. Then he realizes why he didn’t do so before. Inari is so happy her crazy face is scary. Then she tells him the way to turn back into a human: Just kiss her. More accurately use his tongue because some mumbo-jumbo using salvia with DNA, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Science. It should be easy for him after all the practice, right? But when Inari says Inukai will be her guinea pig to test this out, this makes Pochita very mad. He will not steal Inukai’s first kiss so as for Inari to conduct her experiment. Hence he will remain a dog. Goodbye. So mad he bites and crushes the gag ball! Pochita returns to Inukai who is thankful to him for trying to protect her from Inari as well as helping her make friends. Then she kisses him. Well, it’s on the nose. So you wonder if it can happen if she kisses him? Of course. I believe Inukai is crazy enough to do that! Because of the lack of fanservice this episode, now we see all the girls trying to vie for Pochita’s affections. Because WTF all of them strip their top and try to tempt him to suck or lick their boobs! OMFG. Can you not fall into the temptation of topless women?! What is a dog to do but regrets he will become human again one day. Well, you sure you want to give Inari her way?

Special 1
Can’t have an ecchi series without a pool episode! I mean, a REAL pool episode! The one at school doesn’t count! So here we are. Pochita along with Inukai and Nekotani at a special pool that allows dogs. It all began when Inukai realizes she has gained some weight and thus it’s time to hit the pool! Not the gym? Whatever. We can’t complain seeing these babes in bikinis, right?! Well, Nekotani for some reason gets chased around by a naughty dog. Cue for her to slip, fall into the pool and somehow lose her top. Inukai tries to help Pochita swim. Now that he is a dog, such big bodies of water is scary. He nearly drowned. Luckily nothing untoward happens. I hope Inukai didn’t do human CPR on him! Then the girls decide to do some exercise. Inukai sucks at sit-ups. But when Pochita helps to hold her feet, she is damn motivated and is moving at breakneck speeds! Yeah, keep those boobs jiggling! Next is squats. The same thing. Inukai being lethargic. Until Nekotani gets chased off by that naughty dog, Inukai gets motivated and now she’s doing super squats! Keep those parts jiggling, yeah! Déjà vu again as another dog chase has Nekotani crashing into the pool. This time somehow sending Inukai’s top flying too. Because Pochita doesn’t want others to see her tits, he goes to swim and get it. Inukai is so happy Pochita swam on his own that his reward is being smothered by those boobs. Yeah. Back home, Inukai is happy she lost weight. Not on her but Pochita too. Yeah, pooch needs to get some exercise after lazing around all day. He is happy he gets to see this cute side of her.

Special 2
Time for Inukai’s much needed break at the cultural festival to go around with Pochita. But wait. Look who is on a break too? That damn Tsukishiro! Yeah, she too wants to hang out so Inukai is planning to go through this haunted house. Dare to come? Obviously Tsukishiro is scared but pretends not to. Eventually she gets frightened while the sadistic Inukai teases her about it and leaves her behind. However Pochita also notices Inukai scared as her hand holding his leash is shaking. Eventually Tsukishiro doesn’t want to be left behind and tries to catch up. Not sure how the f*ck she got wardrobe malfunction to expose her tits but there, our fanservice! Pochita can only see this because doggie got night vision. Yes, it’s time to put her clothes back on properly. WTF he tries to climb her leg? Obviously she gets scared thinking something is touching it. Oh hell, she can’t identify it is Pochita?! Her scream scares Inukai and paralyzes her. This is so that Pochita can continue his quest without her interference, I suppose. Weird logic dictates that he has to sniff her crotch and then as he uses his paws to push back up her top, his tail becomes some sort of vibrator to tickle Tsukishiro into orgasm! WTF???!!! Now she wants to be f*cked harder???!!! WTF???!!! I don’t know how but Pochita did it. At this point Tsukishiro is so scared she just runs out. Back to Inukai, how is she doing? Not good. So scared she peed where she’s standing!!! As some girls come in to check, Pochita needs to hide this ‘puddle’ and protect Inukai’s modesty so he splashes the bottle of drink over her as cover up. Those girls didn’t suspect a thing as they help Inukai who is of course grateful to her doggie for this. Later she shares a bottled drink with him and Pochita felt this indirect kiss makes them like lovebirds. Keep dreaming. You’re still a f*cking dog.

Every Dog Has Its (Ecchi) Day
Pochita perhaps must be too preoccupied with the thought of kissing that he probably didn’t figure out to just gather all his saliva into a container and then pour it down into Inukai’s mouth while she is asleep. Yeah, most disgusting method but hell, a better loophole than the kiss what will have him play right into Inari’s hands. So until he grows balls for that day, he’ll forever remain a cowardly pup and enjoy the free fanservice our slutty ladies will throw at him. Life is so good as a dog. You dog!

Well people, there isn’t any solid story here except for the fact that a certain kid somehow gets transformed into a dog. Because as we all would know, that itself screams the flimsiest excuse for us to get our 2 cents worth of ecchi fanservice. That’s the whole point of this series. The only way for us to get such nice POVs and without the girls complaining is that you turn the main character into a cute furry little creature. Despite the goal of Pochita is trying to get back being human, but that plot seems very secondary as each episode seeks to drag out as long as possible the fanservice shenanigans. After all, as a pooch, he lacks a lot of freedom and there is nothing he can do by himself as he is already on Inukai’s leash. So yeah, in this context the story didn’t go anywhere as it is just the same formula of Pochita trying to do something but it ends up looking so perverted. But we all forgive him because he’s a dog, right? Save for dog haters, nobody hates those cute little canines, no?!

I have to admit it in a way that being a veteran ecchi viewer (WTF did I just say), the fanservice level here is just average. I mean after when I watched animes that are more risqué than this (a certain healer raping series comes to mind), this one somewhat pales in comparison. Oh heck, even last season’s Futoku No Guild I would consider to be much more ecchi than this. Of course the things they do to make such fanservice scenes are way freaking impossible. Like how Pochita is often able to easily slide in between the girls’ clothes, skirt or pantsu. Like as though those clothing naturally open sesame for the pooch whenever he gets near. IT IS NOT FREAKING POSSIBLE EVEN IN PHYSICS TOO! But we’re so engrossed with the fanservice level, we just give it a free pass and don’t even give a hoot how absurd some scenes were (dogs chasing Nekotani all over school because of some flimsy hot dog smell and nobody else notices. And don’t get me started about Pochita stripping and dressing unconscious Tsukishiro in her hallway!). Pochita unintentionally gets his way with the girls, the girls do their orgasm face and moans, we all are happy. Win-win situation. Why complain further?

Furthermore, like when a series is of the ecchi genre, there will be multiple versions of it. Yup, you’ve guessed it. Censored or uncensored versions. Guess which one I watched? That’s right. Despite watching a few recent ecchi themed animes uncensored, this time I went for the censored one because, who got the time to wait for a few days for the uncensored one to come out! Besides, it’s a good time to also practice and put my superior imagination to good use. Heh. Anyway, what I want to say is that the uncensored version is not actually all that bad. You see, what I mostly noticed is that Pochita’s paw which mostly acts as the censor will only be covering a small portion of the scene, say the camel toe. That’s basically it. It’s not like they put a huge block to censor our half the screen or anything like that. Hence in some scenes, you can actually see the whole pantsu and even if the censor has to come up, it would probably be one small spot. So you won’t lose much if you watched the uncensored version and of course, have a superior imagination!

As for the characters, oh well, what else can I say? I’ve already said this a few times that the only reason Pochita gets turned into a dog is for these tantalizing fanservice scenes. The character whose basic name we don’t even know, is made to be in a further dilemma because he gets to be with the girl he crushes hard on. Too bad he can’t have best of both worlds. Either he stays as a dog to be close with her (and even get his paws all over her body) or return being a human in which he’ll never have an inch of a chance to be in the same breathing space as her. Touch choice. Be Inukai’s pet dog (a reality right now) or Inukai’s human lover (which will never happen in a million years unless something drastic happens). Oddly, if Pochita manages to retain his human conscience as a dog, why does he not do something smart like sending a message. For example, perhaps use items like building blocks to spell it out that he is a human or something? Oh right. Can’t ruin the premise of having mindless fanservice. Okay. Whatever.

Inukai being the cold unsociable ice queen character, I can relate to her why she doesn’t like to interact with humans. So it’s like Pochita is one of the very few people who could see a different side to her. It was an interesting question posed by Inari to make her think if her love would still stay the same if Pochita is revealed to be an actual human than a dog. Anybody would be in for a traumatic shocker if they had something of this sort. After all, this Pochita could be some sort of a replacement of her old one but either way, it is the only thing that brings her the smiles. Until Inukai can break free of this shackles, you’ll have to put up with a yandere version. That’s right. Thank goodness Pochita is a dog because if he was human, Inukai would’ve killed you for being unfaithful! On a trivial note, I bet Inukai is named so not because she’s a dog lover but rather because she is mostly a b*tch. Heh. So as not for her to continuously be viewed as one, hence we can see her slowly opening up to her classmates. It’s a start. Wasn’t so bad, was it?

Then there is her friend Nekotani whom I assume from her name is a cat lover but nothing of this sort indicates that. She’s just afraid of dogs, that’s all. Unlike Inukai, she is a total opposite and is more casual. One might easily classify her as a dumb blonde from the way she acts and all but despite that outlook, she cares deeply about Inukai and hopes her friend to go back to the old ways. Then there is Tsukishiro who is like a senpai maniac. Obviously a love triangle is going to happen if Pochita were to be human. So you wonder why this rabbit girl is named so? Because rabbits have a reputation for multiplying, right? See where I’m going with this?! Inukai and Nekotani are not characters who are in heat all the time. So we need one who is just freaking slutty and having hots for senpai. I don’t know, that masturbation scene of hers actually felt creepy than stimulating. Weird. But wow. Imagine if a girl have such passion for me, I’ll be the happiest guy in the world! Time to get out of dreamland and continue this blog.

Last and not least, the lab coat girl AKA Inari. There is a lot of mystery surrounding her and she’s like the last boss of the series whom Pochita needs to get to in order to unveil the whole truth. Of course I have a few conspiracy theories why she turned him into a dog and that’s because Pochita himself begged her to do it since he desperately wanted to be close to Inukai. Yeah, he lost a bit of his memories during the transformation but whatever. It was also a plea from him to help her get over her trauma of losing her previous dog because the only way to fight fire is with fire. I mean, why else would Inari be trying to confuse Inukai be doing this solely on Pochita? Are there other test subjects we are unaware of? Maybe. You don’t know how crazy the girls in this anime are to the max. After all, we don’t know how many other missing students there are in this school because we just don’t care. Or maybe she is just really a mad scientist who wants to experiment. On a trivial note, I’m guessing from her name that her animal spirit is a fox. Yup, such a sly woman.

Art and animation are pretty standard. Okay, sometimes it feels a bit substandard. But with cute looking girls and a cute looking dog, what else is there to complain? Because of the many POV camera angles, sometimes it makes the viewing experience a bit weird especially when we see Pochita trying to fix the situation quick. The animation gets a bit choppy from the ‘fast paced’ action. This animation is done by Quad whose only other work so far is Kaijin Kaihatsu-bu No Kuroitsu-san.

For the voice acting, didn’t expect to recognize anyone but to my surprise, Yuka Iguchi making her cameo has Inari. Oh wait, is that Yuuko Gotou as Inukai’s mom! Wow. Thought she retired due to her condition and only doing very limited jobs. Didn’t expect her to be here but okay. It’s a short role for a short series. That’s good enough for her. The rest of the other casts are Shuuichirou Umeda as Pochita (Saybil in Mahoutsukai Reimeiki), Saya Aizawa as Inukai (Kisara in Engage Kiss), Mayu Sagara as Nekotani (Kasumi in Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai) and Yurie Kozakai as Tsukishiro (Pekola in Jashin-chan Dropkick).

The opening theme, Gyakkyou Fuwaku Fraction is a lively denpa song sung 12 different singers! Couldn’t they just temporarily call themselves a group name instead of individually naming them all?! Guess not. Yeah, the only one I know from the line-up is Miyuki Hashimoto (credited as the main singer) and Yozuca. Not that I could hear their voices clearly in the song anyway. Everybody’s singing together so it’s kinda loud in some ways. An even livelier denpa song for the ending theme, Let’s Go My House with 3 different versions obviously. Inukai, Nekotani or Tsukishiro, which is the best one? Dunno. All sound the same to me.

Overall, this series is just average and if not mediocre. Fanservice is one thing but when you consider using a little doggie as its main theme to play out the ecchi themes, sometimes it feels downright creepy, cringe, disgusting and weird. Yeah, if you want to watch something horny, might as well go watch real porn than this half assed mess that has no story, forgettable characters and lots of cringe worthy moments (WTF Inukai snapping pics of Pochita peeing????!!!!). I believe the many negative sentiments about this is because they used a dog for it. Yeah, leave the pooch out of our horny human desires! Heh. Oh, you don’t know the human-canine porn fetish on the dark web… Anyway, I hope they don’t make variations of this kind of series. A guy turned into something which gives some sort of chance at perverted close proximity. I don’t even want to think about a plot of being turned into a vibrator… PLEASE, NOOOOOO!!!

Harem Camp

12 May, 2023

HOLY F*CK???!!! HOW THE HECK DID I MISS THIS???!!! Oh well… You see, when I first heard of Harem Camp, I thought this was the much needed ‘male targeted’ series to counter that wholesome (and extremely boring!) anime about a group of cute girls doing camping. That’s right. Here I was, thinking this was going to be so much more ‘entertaining and a whole lot of fun’ with a little bit of funny fanservice hijinks on the outdoors. So I thought. Thus it baffled me why this series was not on the seasonal list of animes even more so when it aired back in the final quarter of 2022. Did it slip my radar somehow? Yup, the thought of as well as the huge tag labelling as HENTAI, I somehow missed that sign and only realized so until I watched the first episode. Oh… Oh… OOOHHH… No wonder… So I got a little more than I bargained for on this sex camp…

Episode 1
Kensuke Yamamichi is camping alone in the mountains when suddenly 3 lost girls approach him. You can tell that they are not prepared for camping. Uh huh. Wearing those kind of clothes in the mountains?! He offers them to stay and of course he thinks he can get lucky with them. Too bad when Haruki Azuma shows up, that killed his libido thinking these girls belong to this dude. Haruki doesn’t think they should stay with this creep but what choice do they have? So as they camp for the night, obviously a single tent is too tight to have 5 people. Yamamichi is still drunk so he tries to get lucky with the one sleeping next to him. As he gropes, he is shocked he is fondling Haruki. But here’s the surprise: Haruki is actually a girl! Now that he thinks about it, she is kinda cute so he continues to molest her. Haruki definitely is against this but you know, the script says she must be turned on by this rape and since she is feeling so good, she lets all this slide. Party is over when he cums all over her thighs! He gets away with it since he calls her cute. Sweet dreams.

Episode 2
Haruki is acting strange the next morning. The girls decide to hit the hotsprings so Yamamichi tells them where to go. Along the way when there is a forked path, Aki Minami tells them to go ahead first since she forgot something. Yamamichi is waiting at the hotspring to peek at the girls. However to his shock, Aki is here. He is busted since she knows he is here to peep on them. Oh well. I guess that’s then end of the voyeurism. And the start of sex! Because Aki tells him to f*ck her. And f*ck her real hard!!! This must be so much better than voyeurism. At the end of the good time, Aki hints she knows he did in Haruki is well. To keep this a secret, they think it’s best not to see each other again. As school begins, the girls will have a new replacement teacher. Guess what? It’s Yamamichi!!!!

Episode 3
While Aki is more forgiving, Haruki isn’t so for doing, uhm, let’s say he did stuffs on her. It seems Aki wants Yamamichi to become the advisor of their camping club. He agrees because he knows some camping stuffs (and of course Aki ‘threatening’ she’ll reveal some stuffs if he refused). Hey, at least he might have a chance to get lucky with them. Like real soon. Because Natsuki Kitamura comes to help clean the clubroom with him. It’s one of the sleaziest reasons for them to have sex. Uh huh. She really wanted to see him again and just like that, he lets her have her way with him. The standard hentai stuff and thankfully they finish up before the rest arrive. Yup, all cleaned up and nothing dirty left behind. Get what I’m saying?!

Episode 4
Yay! We’re going camping again! Of course Yamamichi must tag along since he has a car and of course as Haruki puts it, he’ll get all the necessary items for the camp for them, RIGHT?! Are you girls seriously interested in camping? So we see him do all the work setting up while they laze around. Except for Natsuki. She’s helping out so this makes the rest too want to help out. Because Natsuki has been flirtatiously close to him, this makes Aki a bit jealous. So when all the girls are outside cooking, time for this vixen to lure him in and invite him to f*ck her ass! You think this guy is going to pass up this chance! Thank goodness he brought his condom so he can f*ck he real hard! YEAH! What a wonderful start to the camp and hope they aren’t full from this. Once they’re done, suddenly they hear somebody about to come in.

Episode 5
Touko Saionji is looking for her dog but only sees sensei and Aki. Oh, looks like they managed to cover up in time. Nothing suspicious here. Later as they eat, Haruki bans Yamamichi from sharing the same sleeping tent with them. Go sleep in the car. Heh, trying to vouch for human rights, huh? Haruki doesn’t care! This causes the rest to think something is wrong because Haruki has always been cool and never loses composure. Of course Haruki blames him. While the girls take a bath, Yamamichi plans to peep on them. But what’s this? He realizes he is in the wrong side when he sees Touko changing. Shy girl turns into sexual monster because after seeing the shape of his dick, she likes it?! Then she makes him obey like a dog. Consider this his doggie training. She does feet job on him until he cums and then makes him lick her pussy till she cums. Best training ever?

Episode 6
Since Touko is taking too long, Aki and Natsuki come to check. Yeah, caught them in the act. Aki realizes sensei has done in all the students and wants to continue this training and so the orgy continues. However Natsuki is in shock and devastated that she thought she was the only one whom he was f*cking. But with Aki pressuring her, she won’t lose out and joins the orgy. The best foursome ever? Yeah, when you can make all the women cum at the same time… Haruki comes in looking for everybody and sees this unholy act. Yeah, everyone caught with their pants down. She becomes mad that he has been f*cking her friends. Is a slap going to be effective? Haruki wants to hand Yamamichi to the cops although Aki cautions her in doing that. If that happens, no more camping club. Nobody to help them with camping and they’ll lose their ride (and to ride the dick too, AHAHA!!!). While everyone else is ready to forgive him and continue to let this convenient guy be by their side, Haruki isn’t impressed and runs away. Yamamichi goes to look for her as he has the rest wait at the camp since it is getting dark.

Episode 7
Well, Haruki is lost. Luckily Yamamichi is here to bring her back. However en route home, she needs to go to the toilet. Luckily for her, there is a stall nearby. Too bad there are lots of bugs! Yeah, bugs are attracted to lights. Well, if she can’t do it in there, then it’s the bushes. After she is done with her business, she realizes Yamamichi isn’t around and gets scared. He returns with toilet paper as a scared Haruki clings onto him. Yup, your cheesiest excuse for the sex scene. This sexy Haruki turns him on as he starts fingering her with pretence to help clean her. Yeah, the other excuse is that she’s too scared to move or rather she’s feeling good from his molestation. Time to take this to the next level because as he is about to put his dick in, she stops him. Don’t want to do this on the outside. So she’s saying she’s willing if it’s inside? That’s how any guy would interpret it, no?

Episode 8
So technically f*cking inside a car still counts. Haruki allows him to get inside her because she thinks back she has been tomboyish all the time and the one protecting her friends from being hit by those unruly guys. Now she is being treated as a woman so it’s alright, right? Yeah. The most sorry of excuses to get f*cked! Heh. At least she gets done in like a woman. And yeah, best car sex ever? At the end of all that good time, Haruki gets embarrassed and punches sensei. Thanks a lot. Next day, it seems Yamamichi has no recollections of what happened after finding Haruki. Yeah, he thought that make out session was all a dream! Back to reality as he fixes the broken gas stove while Aki cheekily hints at Haruki that she has f*cked sensei. Her mouth says no but her body reaction says… Then all the girls fight over his attention. Better take responsibility equally for all of them! Harem camp or hell camp?

Camping Sex Is So In-tents!
Oh well. It’s the same as always. Honestly, I wasn’t totally surprised or bored while binge watching the entire series. Probably my mind was already on auto numb after the first episode. This is after all a short pseudo hentai series so what else is there to expect? We’re all here for the pseudo sex parts only, right? Right. Perverts.

Feels like a long time ago since I have watched a pseudo hentai series. I mean, not including that raping healer one. If you remember, a few years back, they slipped 1 pseudo hentai series into the normal anime season. A couple of years later, it suddenly died out. No more seasonal pseudo hentai series? Well, probably it was good since those who really want to watch this kind of genre will have a different anime list for them. Yeah, you’d be surprise the amount of 2D smut they are churning out every season. For better or worse, I suppose shows like this won’t ever get listed like this ever again. At least not in the near possible future. Hence this was why this show flew undetected under my radar and I was unaware of it until only recently. Yeah, speaking of which, I don’t even remember how I actually stumbled upon this. After all, Harem Camp doesn’t really sound like a hardcore porn title to begin with.

As usual, have to touch on the sex part because what else is there to talk about? Like I’ve said, after taking a reasonably ‘long’ break from watching such pseudo hentai series, long story short, it didn’t turn me on. Not sure whether this is good news or bad news. Because it proves that I’m not really addicted to this kind of genres and will scour the internet to find more or even hardcore series. On the other hand, could it be that now that I have grown a bit older, that libido inside of me is slowly burning out? Oh wow. How worrisome. I guess I don’t have a girlfriend or wife to make sure of this but whatever! As far as this series is concerned, the sex scenes are pretty standard and quite predictable. Porn logic takes over and thus the dumbest reason to f*ck or the female do something stimulating to the penis of the guy until he cums while the ladies all have super big busty tits. Refractory period doesn’t exist here.

Of course, the genitals are blurred out but is it me or does the mosaic seem minimal? Even with a bit of imagination, you can clearly tell (in your mind) how those genitals look like. Yeah, good thing our girls here love to shave their pussy clean. It might not be new to many but for me, this is the first time such series having 4 different girls to be f*cked. Not 1, not 2 but 4. This is what a harem should be like. So I guess this staves off the boredom of the same couple having the same kind of kinky sex in every episode. Now you have a variety to choose from and even spoilt for choice! So are we getting new members to the camping club or what? On second thought, the less women, the more share. Of his dick, that is! The camping club sure has monopolized Yamamichi’s dick.

As for the story… WHAT STORY?! Oh heck, it could have been anything but camping either. It could have been a gardening club or an outdoor nature loving club and the same sex scene and logic would still apply! Yeah, camping is just a stepping stone and to provide some variation and even bait some like yours truly to think this would be an ecchi version of Yuru Camp. That’s right. Come to think of it. I think this is the biggest reason why Yuru Camp has no males in their groupie!!! Those poor girls will all lose their virginity overnight and stay away from camping forever!!! OMFG. So don’t even think about learning any camping lessons here because all you’ll get is just campy sex! HAHAHA!!! Sighs…

The characters too are so predictable and cliché. You got your psycho b*tch, the psycho slut, the psycho lover and the psycho, uhm, tsundere tomboy? Whatever. Girls in this universe must be sex maniacs and love huge cocks because otherwise the males will die of loneliness for there will be no one else to help release their love juice! HAHAHA!!! I could write crap lines like that too and I’m not even high on drugs! Anyway, you wonder if these girls actually are into camping because all I see is that they haven’t the slightest interest in it and perhaps this club is just a cover up to go f*ck their sensei. I mean, they are so ill prepared the first time (how the f*ck do you even dress like that going into the woods?!) and even in subsequent camping trips, it is Yamamichi who does and sets up everything. How convenient. Makes me think that they were lost in the first episode just to hunt and prey for a sex slave. Yamamichi hit the jackpot. Such a win-win situation for everybody because as a teacher, he gets to f*ck his young girls who will not rat on him. Losing access to the camping club is just a big load of BS and just a cover up and another way to say that they don’t want to lose their favourite dick. That’s actually how I see it!

Aki is perhaps the most boring of the girls because well, she’s your pretty standard slut who wants to f*ck. Touko is a bit curious because on the outside she is a shy person but don’t let her catch a glimpse of your erected dick because she’ll become some monster dog trainer or something. Bad dog if you don’t obey! I never thought a girl like Natsuki would actually truly have feelings for Yamamichi but tough luck she is in the wrong genre and anime. Yamamichi’s dick has been inside of everyone so too bad Natsuki, your pussy wasn’t the exclusive one. Hence, peer pressure is the only thing that is making her stay instead of walking out and finding a more faithful man or a wholesome life. Ah yes, true love so hard to come by.

Finally, Haruki your tomboyish character and the rebel. This is needed for some drama because with the other girls so willing and easy, there must be one that has to put up the resistance and seemingly against you. Because it is all so satisfactory when you get to f*ck such kind of people. It’s like a sign that they have submitted to you. Uh huh. Haruki’s mouth might say no but her body is saying yes. Thus this guilt that she looks so tomboyish but when she gets f*cked by Yamamichi, it is a privilege because he is treating her as a woman! Porn logic working at its finest, people! On a trivial note, when I first saw Haruki, it had me thinking why the f*ck as that titular character from Uzaki-chan Wa Asobitai is doing here???!!! OMFG!!! Tomboyish girl with sugoi dekai tits… Oh no! I cannot unsee this!!! Is this what Uzaki porn looks like????!!!! F*ck! Now my image of sugoi dekai has been truly tainted!!! It’s now sugoi hentai! OH NO!!!!

Also to note the ending theme, Harem Beat by our quartet camping sluts girls is a lively denpa song that would’ve been oh so cute if not for the sex theme that somewhat ruined the cutesy and innocent image of this song. I also doubt this would be a song for sex or even a camping song! And why does this song sound so familiar like the ending theme of Inu Ni Nattara Suki Na Hito Ni Hirowareta? Must be those crazy denpa vibes. And there’s an instrumental version of this if you don’t want to hear those cute squeaky girls’ voice and just want to hear the crazy techno synthesizer laden music. Which honestly, sometimes sounds a heck lot better.

Overall, this series is cheesy and crappy as it is disappointing. I give it a perfect ten(t). Heh. Just wanted to make that lame camping pun. Only sex amateurs might be turned on in seeing this. And you know, such shows are a dime a dozen on the internet and especially the dark web. So garner more experience and turn into a veteran by watching more of those shows! Otherwise, I think I’ll be waiting for the next and (boring) third season of Yuru Camp to be aired so as to blow away the disappointment of this pseudo hentai series. Better wholesome than horny. Yeah, I must be getting old. Now I’m going to sing a SpongeBob’s campfire song version of this before I go to bed…

C-A-M-P-F-U-C-K S-O-N-G song,
C-A-M-P-F-U-C-K S-O-N-G song,
And if you don’t think they can f*ck ‘em faster then you’re wrong.
But it’ll help if you just cum along,
C-A-M-P-F-U-C-K S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-U-C-K S-O-N-G song!
It’ll help, it’ll help if you just cum along!
OH YEEEEEAAAAAH!

Perfect ten(t) for my humour! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Futoku No Guild

7 April, 2023

You know it. With that kind of title that baits us horny viewers, it is obvious what this series is going to be about. That’s right. With a name like Futoku No Guild AKA Immoral Guild, that kind of title will make heads turn and send all kinds of unholy thoughts of perverted viewers and make them curious to find out more. So is it about a guild where one can take out our guilty pleasures, our deepest carnal desires and the sins of the flesh? Well… I don’t blame you if you feel disappointed it’s not that but yeah, it would’ve been a hardcore hentai title already. But it is still load with typical fanservice as our lone guy who is an adventurer wants to retire early but needs to train young, cute and sexy girls to take his place. Now do you see where this is getting at? Thinking of putting that retirement on hold now?

Episode 1A
Wow. We’re starting off with Kikuru Madan watching his female comrades getting raped by monsters? Don’t you regret signing up for this!!! Before all that happens, we see Kikuru complaining to the guild receptionist, Enome. He wants to quit despite joining the guild in Mebuki City for only 2 years. Now he is 20 years old, he realizes his entire life has been nothing but training to hunt monsters. So he wants to quit and attend college to ‘hunt’ for girls?! And if you’re talking about money, after hunting so many monsters in the past 2 years, he’s got loads of them. Enome tries to convince to him as she introduces a newbie who just joined the guild, Hitamu “Hitamuki” Kyan. This busty martial artist is looking forward with her first quest with him. So as they go hunt for slimes, she charges in and gets molested by them! Yeah, fanservice reasons. What else? After getting assurance she won’t sue for sexual harassment, Kikuru takes them off. Next, they stumble into a bear lion but Hitamuki didn’t learn and charges in again. Yeah, a bear hug isn’t enough and is she going to get raped again? Thankfully he saves her before that could happen.

Episode 1B
Back at the guild, Kikuru still wants to quit but he will only do so after finding a proper successor. Yeah, I can see retirement will take a while… Enome then introduces another girl to join his party, the genius healer Maidena Ange. Maidena thinks he is a pervert but he assures she isn’t a lolicon and hence not her type. Still wrong answer! Can’t compliment her or she’ll call you a pervert. Can’t say she’s a little girl or she’ll get mad. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The trio go on another hunting. Will third time be the charm for Hitamuki because she’s going to take on this lone slime. Well, apparently not. She’s being made a fool and then another slime joins in to begin the rape. Kikuru and Maidena have been hiding and painfully watching the events unfold until Kikuru can’t take it anymore and just goes to rescue her. Maidena then heals Hitamuki’s broken fingers and charges her! Don’t think she would be doing this for free, eh? Then a big mega slime pops up. Hitamuki using her ultimate stance. Why didn’t she use it before? Because it has weaknesses? But this puts Maidena in danger instead. Almost being raped, Kikuru to her rescue. Big slime escapes as Kikuru calls it a day. Can’t risk danger for these newbies. Maidena is now infatuated with Kikuru but stays wary of Hitamuki. Oh how the tables have turned. Kikuru learns the girls are younger than him so he wants Enome to put a requirement of future members to be at least 18 years or older. There will be no underage porn for this series!

Episode 2A
Will Tale who is Kikuru’s mentor is retiring. Kikuru is obviously mad. Because with the main hunter retired, his own retirement is further delayed! More bad news for Kikuru as Enome introduces another new member for him: Tokishikko Dana the black sorceress. Obviously, she is lazy and has no motivation! Don’t wanna work! Yeah, Kikuru doesn’t care then but Tokishikko still needs to work for a living and wants to tag along. So she won’t be in the way means that she won’t be fighting, huh? With Maidena at school, she won’t be attending the next quest. As expected, Hitamuki gets another rape treatment by a bear lion. Guess who to the rescue? Tokishikko clearly lacks stamina and tires out even after running. Since Kikuru still wants to see Tokishikko’s capability, she has him deal with this monster rabbit den. Oh dear, how the f*ck did Hitamuki get owned and raped by those rabbits?! At first Tokishikko doesn’t want to fight them for she has taken care of rabbits before. Until one punches her. DIE YOU MOTHERF*CKERS! Although her zaps are powerful, her reflexes are slow. This means the rabbits overpower her and now she becomes a rape victim. Tokishikko gets mad enough that she powers up and will zap the whole area. Well, the rabbits run and the only victims are herself and Hitamuki. Back at the guild, the duo are so bust up that the rest think Kikuru did them in! It doesn’t help with Tokishikko being ambiguous with her choice of words!

Episode 2B
Kikuru can breathe easily with another new member: Hanabata Nohkins. What a big girl. Aside her boobs, that is. She is Tokishikko’s childhood friend and sometimes can be too serious. Also, her family owns a famous sports brand so she’s somewhat of a celebrity and has her own servants. On the next quest, Tokishikko skips out just to go play a game. When Hitamuki gets excited to fight a slime, Kikuru takes it out first! Tired of the lewdness? WERE WE COMPLAINING?! Then a monster boar attacks. Hanabata knocks it out with her giant hammer in a single strike. But when a group ambush them, they have to run. WTF Hitamuki getting into trouble and getting raped?! How the f*ck could this even happen?! Hanabata then decides to use her secret frenzy technique to wipe them all out at once. Turns out she becomes intoxicated and reverts into a child-like state. But don’t laugh. Her strike is powerful enough to knock them all out! But bad news for Kikuru. She lunges all over him and wants a praise. This means boobs in his face. But her bear hug definitely broke a few bones. When she comes to, she doesn’t have any recollection of what happened and thought Kikuru got done in by a monster. Yeah. We know which monster. Back at the guild, Kikuru reviews the newbies he got. Nothing but mental grind and no gain from it. I bet he is going to die before he even retires!

Episode 3A
Well, well. What else do you expect? Uh huh. Hitamuki getting raped in the opening scene. This should be the norm, eh? It gets worse with Hanabata using her frenzy technique to make things worse. Back at the guild, Kikuru is chewing them out how they are more of a liability since his burden has been increased rather than decreased. Are they his real enemies? He decides all of them to take time off for tomorrow. This is not because they are grounded but rather because they have been fighting straight for a few days, they need some rest physically and mentally. In actuality, he needs it more than the girls. So all the girls meet up and what’s this? A bunch of strict looking b*tches accompanying Maidena? Well, Maidena has to convince the student council that she isn’t doing something that would sully their name. They don’t look really convinced as they remind her to behave moderately. Meanwhile Kikuru talks to Enome about the monsters acting strange lately. Especially those attacking girls. It’s like they don’t even want to kill them and treat them more like a meal and mate for reproduction. They discuss about monsters needing mana to leave and that’s why they attack humans who have them. However to see some ‘raping’ instead of killing, could it be some women have finer mana? The girls are at the cake shop. Tokishikko wants to talk about love! Sorry girls, none have any romance experience due to their lifestyle. Including Tokishikko herself. And so the topic comes to an end. On the way back, Hitamuki spots Kikuru. She wants to say high but slips and yeah, her crotch ends up in his face! Kikuru is in a pinch. What is this nice smell and heavenly feeling? He tries to carefully remove Hitamuki (who is probably looking like in orgasm mode) but the rest sees this. Definitely get the wrong idea. Tokishikko snaps a pic. See you in court?

Episode 3B
On another day, Enome joins Kikuru and Hitamuki on an adventure to investigate the monsters. Kikuru explains how Hitamuki is oddly the one among the girls who suit him because of her ‘scouting’ abilities. Basically he doesn’t need the rest. So she’s like a dog to him, huh? Before you know it and as expected, Hitamuki falls into a pit trap and gets raped by horny snakes. Are we going to stand there and observe or save her? As Kikuru goes to save her, the snakes sneak up on Enome and start stripping and rape her! Kikuru can’t stop staring, huh? Don’t wait till she tells you to come save her! Yeah, removing those dead snakes from her body feels like some sort of perverted play too. Since when did Kikuru become a poet? So while this has gone long enough, I hope they didn’t forget because Hitamuki has been raped to death! Why didn’t she shout for help? She thought Kikuru should concentrate on saving Enome first. How sweet. And thanks for the fanservice as always. When they return to the guild, they see this loli Esyne handling the receptionist as Enome’s relief. Who is she? Enome’s daughter! Yeah, and you thought she was at least her sister, HUH?! Now we got the MILF and hence a complete set of teens and lolis in this harem! Yay!

Episode 4A
Kikuru is the last patient the doctor checked before he suddenly left. This causes nurse Resumisu to panic and wants Kikuru to play doctor for the remaining patients. She can’t contact the doctor and she fears doing something wrong again will get her fired. So this isn’t her first offence, eh? Don’t worry, she wraps his face in bandage to prevent the rest from finding out and she’ll guide him. Well, he better not be found out as the remaining patients are his guild girls! This is going to be a challenge. Dr Kikuru is now in session. Sorry, make that Dr Murder! Imagine Hanabata’s boob size is the same number is Resumisu’s height! OMFG!!! As he uses his stethoscope to hear Hanabata’s heart, I’m sure his mind is going crazy when he has free first class view of those boobs. Next is Tokishikko. After viewing Hanabata’s jugs, he knows this won’t sway him. How wrong. Size doesn’t matter! Even small boobs have their own charm! Next is Maidena. Since she has a holy crest on her back hips, he has to examine it. So nervous he is that he is shaking all over and making some ambiguous movements! Finally, Hitamuki. After all the fanservice he has seen happen to her, nothing can shock him, right? But he wonders why she is feeling so shy. Even making those ambiguous sounds! Once he is done, Hitamuki then whispers in his ear. She doesn’t know why he is doing this but it is wrong! Holy sh*t! She knows it is him! Then he realizes her keen smell of sense gave him away. Dr Murder just died.

Episode 4B
Kikuru is out training Maidena and Tokishikko. Yeah, the duo are in need of greater stamina. As the girls talk, it soon evolves into an argument as Tokishikko teases Maidena and this makes her feel embarrassed. Yeah, getting heated in this warming up session. Tokishikko tries to show how forgiving she is by helping her in her warm up. But it’s just a trick as Tokishikko has got her on hold in his embarrassing position! Apologize or she’ll walk back to Mebuki and show everyone this embarrassing side of hers! Too bad that won’t last long as Tokishikko runs out of stamina. Wow. The duo already tire out and this is just the warming up. The real training continues and of course the duo has a lot of areas needing to improve. Especially Tokishikko complaining and trying to give excuses that her laziness is her personality and all. Well, if you’re on Kikuru’s watch, you’re going to have to put up with his Spartan training menu. Later Maidena lightly injures her feet. She could use magic to heal herself but won’t since she doesn’t always want to rely on it and wants to do things with her own power. Uhm, isn’t healing magic her own power? Tokishikko will give her a piggyback ride back to Mebuki. She promises this is not a trap. Maidena agrees as they make the slow walk back as Kikuru notes this training isn’t just to build up their stamina but their relationship to trust each other. Too bad this will be a long way as Tokishikko runs out of stamina and falls, causing Maidena to hurt her head! They start arguing as usual as Tokishikko claims with a bit more rest, they can continue this and cover the same distance. Woah. You mean doing this same thing at a snail pace every 10 minutes? Instantly she uses magic to heal herself! All hail the convenience of magic!

Episode 5A
Kikuru is now training Hitamuki and Hanabata. As he points out Hanabata’s flaws to always resort to her frenzy mode, the purpose of this entire training is to make her stop doing that herself and of course save his own ass. During the break as Kikuru shares his mana drink, suddenly Hanabata goes into that mode! Immediately he bolts and hides! He calls Tokishikko on this matter and to put it simply, she has mana overdose since her magic resistance is so low and can’t even withstand her own mana. This might not be as taxing as the other frenzy mode but he has to do something because damn, Hanabata is now raping Hitamuki! I swear, it is her role to get raped in every episode, friend or foe! Yeah. SHOW US THOSE DAMN TITS!!! You took the words out of my mouth, Kikuru. Two big assets colliding with each other! Not sure about Tokishikko’s explanation in how to calm the situation. Because Hanabata likes him, so she can’t hurt him if he is in injured mode. Hence Kikuru returns and pretends to be injured. Hanabata then licks his wounds. Nice feeling, eh? The plan now is to slowly slip away before she regains her consciousness. Oops. Too late. A very embarrassed Hanabata then pummels him with full might as she goes into her frenzy mode. Don’t ever try this method again unless you have a death wish.

Episode 5B
In yet another adventure, we know how it’ll all screw up, right? First, Tokishikko accidentally zaps Hanabata out. Maidena got so scared she cried and attracted the monsters who then start to rape the girls! Eventually Tokishikko’s blast destroyed them all. Yeah, the aftermath of a rape festival… Back at Kikuru’s home, they have a meal and Tokishikko claims herself as the heroine since she blasted the monsters away. With Hitamuki enjoying this bear meat that Hitamuki made, Tokishikko then asks him if he likes a girl who can cook. Well obviously. But when he doesn’t think highly of the rest with cooking skills, this has them start a competition who can cook better. Oh dear. Kikuru peaks at them. Your worst fears come true because Maidena is dumping everything into the pot! Can you hear the pot crying?! Tokishikko using a flamethrower to cook her meat! Efficiency, says she! Hanabata is pounding the hamburger meat! It’s all about the sincerity! In the end, you wonder if they’re going to poison Kikuru. To avoid certain death, he has them taste their own cooking first. They do so and it’s so awful that WTF, their clothes rip!!! OMFG!!! HOW?! Can cooking turn you naked?! Oh yeah. But we can all agree this one is the tastiest and best dish, AM I RIGHT???!!! In the end, none of them won as Hitamuki reveals the meat she served came from the bear’s dick. You bet Maidena is going to have problems with that! Safe to say, victory belongs to Hitamuki in all areas!

Episode 6A
Kikuru goes on a mission with Maidena and Hitamuki to collect some dangerous flowers. When Hitamuki trips and injures herself, she uses her own chakra to heal herself. Impressive. For a martial artist! Then some enlightenment from Maidena why humans can only destroy but not heal others that is why medicine and tools are used for that. White sorcerers like her call upon some phoenix’s power to heal others. While picking those flowers, Maidena suddenly sees a monster bird watching her. She panics and accidentally touches the flowers. The petals then releases pollens that silences her voice. With the bird latching its tentacles onto her, Maidena can’t call for help. She furiously waves to Hitamuki in a distance for help but the damn girl thinks she is having fun waving! Maidena remembers this birds like to toy with shiny things and tries to use her wand as distraction. Too bad, something is worth more than it: Maidena’s body! OMFG. Bird starts to tentacle rape this loli! Sorry Hitamuki fans, not this episode. Maidena fears of succumbing to her fate but luckily Kikuru saves the day. Since they have to bring Maidena back to Mebuki for treatment, Hitamuki has a faster idea. Uhm, not sure what’s this boob to boob contact as Hitamuki transfers her chakra to heal her! Win-win for all! Because of that, Maidena’s brutally honest answer is that Hitamuki would be better as a healer than a martial artist. Now that’s got to hurt. Yeah, maybe Kikuru needs another healer…

Episode 6B
Since Esyne is being clingy all over Kikuru, he thinks she likes him but needs to set her straight so as she won’t stray the wrong path. When he does so, she shoots him down that she isn’t romantically in love with him. But what about the date she wanted to have with him? Oh that. She meant to have a date together with her mom. Because you see, Esyne wants Kikuru to marry Enome and become her new papa!!! Enome so shocked she gets a fever? Resting in the clinic nearby, Kikuru gets suspicious as Esyne makes him take her temperature. Bet she hid the thermometer… She leaves them alone as he takes her temperature with his forehead. Can’t tell. Because she’s too hot and sexy! Getting the fever instead? Then as she strips naked so he could clean her body, she talks about Mebuki not having many guards posted because the monster attacks aren’t as serious compared to other towns. But she is happy that Kikuru is training with the girls and there is a chance they will grow and improve. Too bad he can’t hear all that as his mind is too fixated with her dynamite body! Suddenly Resumisu is here. From now on, she will be posted to this clinic. She got fired from the hospital after the doctor found out about her lying report. Yeah, he doesn’t remember examining those huge busty patients! The little girls go to work but all we hear are sounds of crashing and clumsiness. Enome gets so worried but when she gets up, she falls over Kikuru. What does this scene look like especially when Esyne sees this? Even mommy’s orgasmic face! She hopes to have a younger brother and from that day forth, she calls Kikuru her papa.

Episode 7A
A couple of adventurers, You Smith and Senlink Testaile relate how they met a human sized Repel Spider. This is dangerous because the spider can sense your attacks and evade them, hence making it very hard to attack or even capture. Worse, its bite is very poisonous. Kikuru sounds like he wants to have a go at this but the adventurers are not optimistic he can do it. Especially when he specializes in hunting in the shadows and is a master of escaping! True. I’m sure Kikuru will not let it slip by. After all, the duo are agitated since one of their friends is still trapped in the woods. Hence Kikuru assembles his girls and splits the team. Hitamuki, Maidena and Hanabata will go find and rescue that lost adventurer while Tokishikko is stuck with Kikuru to hunt down the spider. Yeah, she would’ve preferred to be in the rescue team. I guess we’re not paying attention as he explains about the spider because we’re more interested in seeing how the f*ck Hitamuki got caught in the spider’s web! YEAH! Fanservice time. Make that double as Maidena tries to help her, she too gets stuck. Not sure how they can orgasm with their entangled bodies. Would you care to join in Hanabata? As Kikuru and Tokishikko continue their search, look no more because the spider quickly attacks them. Even before Tokishikko can chant her fire spell to burn everything around, the spider escapes. They let their guard down for a while and the spider quickly ambushes Tokishikko from the back. Kikuru saves her and takes a fatal stab. Tokishikko’s flames has it escaping for good. But Kikuru is down for good! Oh no!

Episode 7B
WTF Enome and Esyne think it is a bad sign when their shirt button pops off! It’s a good omen for us!!! Jokes aside, Tokishikko fears Kikuru will die. Trying to make bad jokes for him to rebuke? Especially how she will tell everyone that he violated her?! Well, good news. Kikuru has enough strength to rebuke. He is alive thanks to drinking an antidote when he got stabbed. The poison is still lethal, though. Journeying back to Mebuki might seem daunting but Tokishikko has an idea to heal him. We’re going to get the wrong idea when she strips to her undies! It’s not what you think! Talking about cursed names, a person who holds that name may receive blessings of a spirit based on that name’s attributes. Hence the person becomes that name he/she represents. Kikuru soon realizes that Tokishikko is actually derived from Toxic. Hence her cursed name is poison although hers works mostly as detoxification. That’s why she has never been sick. Not sure why he needs to strip too because it just gives rise to ambiguity. I mean, eventually she is going to drip he saliva into his mouth! Yuck! More disgusting than stimulating! Maybe that’s the last resort. Because Kikuru soon heals and he sarcastically praises her nullification skills. Tokishikko has an idea why he isn’t popular with girls. Meanwhile, Hitamuki’s side has found and rescued Noma Rune. Kikuru and Tokishikko now plan to capture the spider. Ordinary means won’t do. That means a trap must be that that does not involve human will. There is a lodge for adventurers in the middle of this forest in which Kikuru wants to use it to trap the spider in and burning down. After taking notes of its structure and all, he then destroys the amulets that protects monsters from approaching it to attract the spider. Screw the guild getting mad at this, right? Because now he wants her to burn it down!

Episode 8A
Kikuru successfully attracts the spider. Now it is gunning after him. Kikuru’s challenge is to now get it to the house while he is still weakened. Because damn, he is like a parkour expert as he evades the spider’s killer moves! All this time, we hear Kikuru analysing and telling us how he is going to deal with this after his observations on this monster. When he finally reaches the house, he acts like is cornered. So when the spider lunges at him, he ducks. Its leg breaks the window and this causes a backdraft as the fire from inside starts burning it. While this isn’t enough to kill it, this gives Kikuru the advantage to fight back as he cuts its legs to seal its movement. This is where Tokishikko comes out from her hiding to fire a big blast to blow everything away after Kikuru hides behind a rock. Yeah, too bad Tokishikko gets caught in it too! Well, good news: She survives and the spider is dead. Even better news: The blast burnt her clothes away! Weakened, she goes to lie on Kikuru. She praises how cool he is and all. But now she needs to take a piss as she has been holding it ever since! Oh no you don’t!

Episode 8B
As Kikuru rests up in his home, Hitamuki comes to visit to take care of him. She is glad he is okay although he credits Tokishikko dealing the final blow and she is the real hero. He doesn’t want to stand out by getting more achievements since he wants to retire. This has Hitamuki have him accompany her shopping in town. They go get some vegetables from the stall guys. Obviously those perverts ‘advice’ her she can use this cucumber other than cooking! Yeah, they want to use their meat on her! When Hitamuki introduces Kikuru to them, they get suspicious. Who this guy?! Once they learn he is the town’s hero, they apologize and thank him. Yeah, they thought he was a pervert preying on Hitamuki! They go around town and meet other friendly people. Then at the park, twin boys she knows want to play with her. Obviously, they pretend to get hurt so as to fondle her boobs! Before she knows it, they tie her up and start molesting her! They even play dumb and innocent about being perverts! Even if she is pretend playing the villain, damn those boys are the evil ones! Shooting their water guns all over her and making her wet! Forget monsters, Hitamuki can even get violated by young kids! In the end, Hitamuki laments how they’ve changed since they were not like this when they met. Yeah, I bet she is the cause of their change. Hitamuki soon reveals she took Kikuru around town because since he wants to retire, she wants him to see the smile of others whom he has protected. She wanted him to be proud of his achievements rather than feeling guilty. This is when Kikuru realizes the people love their heroes. He just never bothered to talk to them and complained about being alone. He was perhaps under the illusion that a change in place would be better. Of course he assures he won’t retire soon. Not until he sees his girls properly trained. For the smiles of the people, right? Yeah, he can only see perverted smiles… Kikuru might become like that too because when Hitamuki asks what he wants to eat, he wants her ham!

Episode 9A
Noma joins Kikuru and Hitamuki in a monster hunt. Though, Kikuru remains very sceptical that she has her own problems that HE will have to DEAL WITH! She relates why she joins his team to learn because her comrades left Mebuki to train on their own. They felt useless for abandoning her and promised to come back stronger. Yeah, more responsibilities for Kikuru. Before we are bored to death with that, here, be reminded that Hitamuki is the queen of being molested as a sneaky snake slithers all over her. Noma is about to get the same treatment but her quick thinking to freeze it allows them to be saved. Noma has low confidence over her own skills but Kikuru tells her otherwise. This makes her happy since her comrades never let her do anything. As they take a break, Kikuru realizes that Noma could be the ideal girl for his party. Because unlike the rest, she does not do anything reckless! Is she the person whom he has been waiting for? Well… Until this… Because they see the devastating truth as Noma take a piss… OMFG!!! NOMA IS A GUY???!!! HOLY SH*T!!!! Oh dear, no matter how much Kikuru tries to reason with this, I guess he felt disappointed, huh? And now the slimes attack Hitamuki and Noma. Uh huh. Can’t get a boner seeing Noma get molested now, huh?! Luckily Kikuru returns to save them in time. Because Noma tried to solve this but failed, Kikuru praises him and he needs to give himself some credit for his resourcefulness. Noma hopes to continue getting guidance from his master AKA Kikuru. Well, let’s hope that won’t rub him the wrong way.

Episode 9B
Kikuru escorts Enome and Resumisu to the plains. No monsters so the ladies are free to do their duty of tending to some old cows. They have rocks growing their head which will eventually cover their eyes so their job is to remove those rocks. Yeah, can’t believe those old pervy cows prefer to rub its head on Enome’s boobs for something soft rather than the pillow, huh? I bet that is much softer! When Resumisu messes up, her screams causes a cow to go a bit berserk since its hearing is sensitive. The only way to calm it down is to give it something soft. Yup. Guess which parts of Enome is targeted? More Resumisu screams so the rest just start molesting Enome. WTF do they even know how to take off her skirt?! Yeah, that ass is as soft as those boobs! F*cking pervy cows!!! I think jealous Kikuru wants to kill them but Enome won’t allow it. Better let her modesty get outraged? Resumisu tries to use the pillow as her fake boobs. Well, it’s more than she can handle as they now harass her. But once they realize it is fake, they return to normal. Disappointed. Yeah. F*cking pervy cows! Esyne arrives to give them lunch but sees Kikuru and Enome in a very ambiguous sexual position (he is taking off his clothes to cover her but it looks like he is taking her from the back!!!). Looks like they had early lunch!

Episode 10A
In another monster hunting expedition, let’s see what is happening to Kikuru’s team. Oh, the usual. Hitamuki getting raped. Tokishikko tired out. Maidena too scared. All that’s left is Hanabata using her frenzy. Yeah, did the job but also lots of damage taken. You bet back at the guild, Kikuru is feeling so disappointed. He has everyone train themselves tomorrow. Later Hanabata talks to Enome as she is worried she is being hated by Kikuru since she heard Kikuru would prefer to choose Hitamuki as his fighting partner. Later we see Kikuru talking to Hanabata’s servants. He wants to reveal the truth behind her frenzy to her but the servants seem to be against it. Yeah, they fear they will get scolded or something. Kikuru’s plan is to have her come to his house and watch a video recording by Tokishikko when she is in that mode. He wants the servants to be there too but they baulk and wish him all the best! Kikuru then calls Hanabata to come to his place. It’ll be just them. Oh yeah. What a way to send confusing signals to a girl. Hanabata cleanses herself as she thinks of the reason why he is doing so.

Episode 10B
And now she is dolled up as she visits his place. Without wasting time, he puts in the video to let her watch a horror video. Yeah, it’s not that kind of horror video we think. As expected, Hanabata is shocked to see her true state in frenzy mode. Sorry girl, this is not a prank or edited footage. Looks like the effect is nearly the same as Hanabata lunges onto him, trying to prevent him from looking any further. Not sure WTF this move because he forces down the cookies she made down her throat and this blows away her clothes and calms her down! Yeah, I guess we need some silly excuse for fanservice as we see her naked all over him. When things calm down, she explains her strict father who was probably the strongest guard in Mebuki, one day he praised an unknown guy in the papers who turned out to be Kikuru. She adored him ever since. She is in tears thinking she has hurt the one she adores and it must be the fact that people are scared of her, the reason they couldn’t tell her the truth. Time for her servants to pop up and give their emotional support as they assert how much they adore her. That’s right. They don’t hate her. Kikuru mentions that he had intentions to seal he frenzy today with this tape. However he changed his mind and wants her to use it. Of course this means she must learn how to control it and he believes he can overcome her drunken state. After hearing what she said and her feelings about him, he knows she can do it. But soon everyone has that disappointed look because Kikuru takes her feelings for him as just respect and no romantic connotation. Yeah, he can say that with a straight face. A sulking Hanabata wants to spar with him right now. And he wonders why today’s sparring is so tough.

Episode 11A
As narrated, white and black sorcerers have long hated each other because of the different gods they worship as well as their different philosophy. What’s that got to do with us? Because Tokishikko and Maidena are in a kiddie quarrel! Kikuru and Noma have a hard time trying to pacify them and it’s only going to get worse. It all started when the lolis were talking about some manga. Tokishikko then spoilt the ending for one of it. Yeah. That’s how. Although Tokishikko apologizes, too bad she further reveals even more spoilers. Yeah, more madness from Maidena. Though, Noma manages to calm down Maidena a bit and it is noted that Noma is a red sorcerer who gets along with both sides because of their stance as mediators. It is then Kikuru reveals Noma is a boy. News to the lolis. A shockwave through Maidena. Yeah, she thought Noma was her flat chest comrade! However she manages to handle this shock slightly better. Kikuru then leaves them to go deal with a monster pack. But that is when some vine monster with penis tentacles target Tokishikko. Luckily Noma saves her but gets trapped instead. Uh huh. NOMA GETS RAPED! Especially the vine sucking on his dick!!! OMFG!!! ARE YOU GETTING A HARD ON NOW???!!! As expected, the lolis do more harm than anything useful and even argue what to do. Take your time. While Noma continues to get raped!!! Eventually they give and think should wait for Kikuru’s return. Don’t take too long now because damn, the monster now rapes them! Just desserts? Kikuru returns to save them. Tokishikko makes it worst as she trolls that she has seen and touch Kikuru’s dick, causing Maidena to blow her top as her screams attract more monsters… Today is raping day or what?

Episode 11B
Kikuru practises as well as tries to train Hanabata to control her frenzy mode. Didn’t work. Only thanks to Enome’s lullaby that she is put to sleep. Because of Hanabata saying she loves him during that mode, it makes Enome wonder all that as Kikuru explains to clear the air. Meanwhile Esyne hears from Resumisu about her mama out with Kikuru and Hanabata. This worries Esyne because she thinks he might be charmed after seeing Hanabata’s body that is more voluptuous than her mom. She rushes off to go check on them. When Hanabata wakes up, it seems she is still in that mode and continues to attack Kikuru. He realizes her mana does not wear out when she is not in a moving state. With Enome telling her Kikuru likes girls who are ladylike, this puts Hanabata on her good behaviour. She quiets down. But as Enome cleans up the wound on Kikuru, Hanabata throws a tantrum that she wants to do it. Kikuru won’t let her so she unleashes a powerful force that rips Enome’s top. It’s about time those boobs breathe!!! To atone for that, Hanabata also strips! Then she puts them in his face! Oh my. Kikuru sandwiched between both boobs! Words of wisdom from Hanabata: Boobs are soft and won’t hurt! OMFG! SHE’S A GENIUS!!! Eventually he has to lie that he hates girls who shoves boobs into his face. As Esyne worries about how her new family would turn out, she spots Hanabata sleeping nicely on mama’s lap. Wow. Hanabata calling Enome her mom. Esyne in shock! She gets the wrong idea that she is not needed in this new family. Enome tries to tell her that she is her only daughter and loves her but I guess the damage is done.

Episode 12A
Enome gives the girls their first pay. Oh damn, it’s only been a month! I’m with Tokishikko. Because they’ve screwed up for so long it felt like forever! Maidena doesn’t get any salary because she gets hers from the church. You see that deducted portion from your pay? Yup, church tax. And whatever this forced insurance thingy by white sorcerers too… The girls would like to spend their money but realize they want to do something for Kikuru. Had not been for him, yeah, would they still have their chastity intact?! They didn’t say that but I feel it’s along those lines… Hence Tokishikko has this great idea to present Kikuru with youth that he wants so much. That grin… Next morning, Kikuru feels somebody trying to grab him so he quickly takes action. OMG. Did he nearly strangle Maidena! Tokishikko has got it all on camera… Turns out they are all wearing their high school uniform as part of the youth theme and Maidena was waking him up. Too bad Kikuru can’t be with them today as he has a meeting with his old friend. Speaking of which, he calls and looks like he wants Hitamuki to be brought along too. Looks like he knows the reason why Hitamuki is targeted by monsters. The rest will stay to help cook but Kikuru didn’t bat an eyelid to claim they’re going to kill him! They won’t back down and claim they have what it takes to cook better: Follow the recipe! Oh well, don’t get your hopes up. Though, have to give them points for 100% enthusiasm!

Episode 12B
Kikuru brings Hitamuki to see his petite old friend, Iz Mean Mill who is now a bookstore owner-cum-researcher. In his deadpan voice, he can still mock Kikuru. He finds it a pain to explain everything so when he says Hitamuki is one with the world, we don’t really get all that. Yeah, need to go into details. Meanwhile we see Tokishikko and the rest creating their best cooking yet. However she claims it is just copying the recipe and not handmade by them. Oh damn, she’s confusing everyone so here they go turning it into their own unique colours! While we leave them to that, back to Iz’s explanation. Starting off with the basics, when one’s mana is depleted, it is replenished by absorbing seithr in the air. Monsters covet mana but can’t produce it themselves and hence the need to take it from others. Then there is the issue of the replenishing rate that differs from everyone. Iz has conducted an experiment on Hitamuki. She has been sitting on a spell that has been sapping her mana but she felt nothing. A normal person would’ve fainted. As people’s seithr absorption rate isn’t even close to 1%, Hitamuki’s is 100%! This means that mix also preserves the purity of seithr and to monsters, it’s the finest food. Because of this clash of seithr and mana in her body, this is also what causes Hitamuki to be clumsy. So while her case is solved, Kikuru wonders why it also attacks other women. Well, Iz knows the answer but isn’t telling because as long as the monsters do not eat up the person, it is okay. That’s good enough for Kikuru’s circumstances. I take it, the author doesn’t have an explanation right now!!! When they go back, WTF they see naked orgasmic girls with food all over! Yum. Is this the tasty meal to be served?! Oh yeah! Itadakimasu! But wait… Why the f*ck is Noma here too?! Damn I just lost my appetite… Next day as Kikuru enters the forest with his girls, this familiar scene of all them getting raped by monsters. Déjà vu. Yeah Kikuru, better start questioning if this is the youth you want!

Indecent Exposure: For Your Viewing Pleasure
Well, we get a final episode insight on why Hitamuki is plagued with such problems. However… We didn’t hear a solution to it! So I am thinking that they want Hitamuki to continue getting raped and her modesty outraged by the monsters! Oh, what’s this as long as she doesn’t lose her life? Yeah, we can all agree to that too. What doesn’t kill her makes her sexier. Heh. Sorry, bad pun. And if all that we have seen just occurred in a month for our characters, imagine if this monster hunting thingy drags on for years! I can imagine how violated Hitamuki will become. Will we be bored by then? Nah! So keep buying those DVDs and Blu-Rays because all that funding might get us another season so we can watch more depravity as the Immoral Guild upgrades itself to Sinful Guild! Yeah!

Even though there is not much of a story or plot, and each episode is just an excuse for some blatant tits baring fanservice, hell, at least it has way more story or plot compared to Isekai Meikyuu De Harem Wo! Yes, that labyrinth hentai was way too f*cking boring and the only thing about that anime is just sex, sex and sex. Therefore in this context, this anime at least is seemingly more interesting despite the fact that each episode serves as a standalone and almost independent of each other. Kikuru training the girls but get into sexy shenanigans is still way more interesting a plot to follow compared to Michio f*cking his Roxanne every night!

And of course the main draw of this series would be the tantalizing fanservice. Sorry if the name trolled you into thinking there would be some sort of pseudo sex (sorry again if Isekai Meikyuu De Harem Wo gave some sort of false hope and expectations), however there are no sex scenes whatsoever. A lot of typical ecchi fanservice especially in the form of tentacle rape. Yeah, is it me or does it feel like the producer of this series loves tentacle rape. So ecchi lovers, this would be a fanservice haven galore as every episode guarantees you some sort of tits molesting and tentacle rape because what else is there for this series? It has got to live up to its name. Somewhat. As always, the censored and uncensored version. I would have no qualms in watching the former but since both versions came out almost simultaneously, guess which one I took? Sometimes my creative imagination needs to be fed some real stimulus too!

So there is some strange mysterious thing happening in the forest that makes monsters have the urge to just f*cking rape girls (and cute looking boys). Why? Don’t know. Sure, it is explained but all that mumbo-jumbo felt like a big turn off and being pulled out of air just to justify it. In the end, you’ll be wondering if you cared for all the explanation in the first place. Because hell yeah, just give us more fanservice anyway! And that is why the seemingly porn-like logic we need for those monsters to act all seemingly horny because yeah, why the f*ck do most of them have tentacles?! How the hell do they even know how to unbutton or undress?! It’s like they know where the tits and crotch area are! Wow. Some really super horny monsters we got here. Therefore the best and worst aspect in the aftermath of a battlefield is to see all the girls getting done in and oh boy, what a chaotic scene. Imagine a battlefield that doesn’t spill blood but semen! Not saying we see any of the latter but you get what I’m trying to say. No casualties but only chastity and modesty being the unfortunate fatalities.

Do we care about the characters? Oh yes. We need to know what kind of girls are going to get their modesty outraged, right? Right! Kikuru as the main character has got his hands tied (or should I say his balls squeezed) since he is having a handful training useless oddballs. The irony he wants to continue to study but with the intention to chase skirts. Uhm, aren’t these girls under his tutelage not sexy enough for you?! Oh yeah, maybe he has certain taste in women but we don’t know. The girls flop hard but in exchange give him the best fanservice and why the f*ck is he not happy? Yeah, easy for us viewers to casually say all that since we are the ones reaping the benefit enjoying those delicious views. But for Kikuru, he holds additional responsibility as he has already given his word to find a proper successor. Uh huh. Can’t back out of that promise and I can only see him becoming an old man by the time he finishes training his girls… Let’s hope the college doesn’t have any age restrictions by then. Sometimes I want to wish Kikuru all the luck he can get but seeing the lucky sukebe he already is, I take that back because maybe I need to keep some of that luck myself. So far nothing… :’(. After all, Kikuru has got quite a nice and muscular body too. Only if you can stomach all those hideous scars over it.

First up in his group is Hitamuki and if there is a sentence I would describe her, we would all definitely agree that she only exists to get raped in almost every episode! Like as though this is her destiny! This is why she is made to be clumsy and incompetent because it is the most blatant excuse to let her be in a compromising position. Makes you wonder how the f*ck she could end up like that. Sure, there’s a reason to it. But we don’t care. She delivers as fatedly promised. Otherwise, she is quite a good natured girl and cares a lot about her comrades although that still doesn’t exempt her from the outrage. It’s going to take a while before she improves. Not that we want her too, right? For obvious reasons! Although in later episodes Hitamuki takes a break from being raped, unofficially I believe she is the one who has the most count in terms of sexually assaulted and violated. Not that we’re complaining, right? Plus, she is thicc so fans who are into this fetish can love her even more.

Next is Tokishikko. Basically she is a slacker and lazy person. Basically the best character of the series in terms of cheekiness. She doesn’t bat an eyelid to tease others especially Kikuru and in a way lacks tact since she often says what she does, leading to a lot of quarrels with Maidena. Yeah, what is better than having 1 loli? Having 2 of them instead. Maidena is a complete opposite of Tokishikko since she is more pure and hence slightly prone to outburst when she is faced with indecent stuffs. She could be the tsundere of the group for all you know. Tokishikko feels like she is more honest with her feelings with Kikuru although I won’t go so far as to say that she blatantly outright likes him (aren’t all the girls too?) but seeing how casual she is with him, I guess that is why I felt so.

If you’re not a butt person, then Hanabata may do the trick for you because those kind of boobs can only exist in hentai, right? Yeah, so huge those melons that they even parodied a scene with that distracted boyfriend meme! Won’t deny those racks will definitely make heads turn! Among the girls, she is most effective in her kill count in taking out monsters but that is only when she is in her dangerous frenzy mode that will take out her own allies too. Yes, this strange quirk of hers is the excuse needed for Hanabata to be in a drunken state so she can give our hapless Kikuru more fanservice with those humongous soft peaks. Thanks for the best wisdom quote ever! Which normal human doesn’t like soft things?!

Last but not least in Kikuru’s party, Noma. Ah yes, trying to confuse our libido with this very effeminate character. No problem if you are bi but in most cases for straight people, knowing that Noma is a boy is going to send a lot of confusing signals to your dick at this point. But I guess we can just trick our brains into thinking Noma looking so cute like a girl, screw it, we just fap to Noma rapes scenes!!! WE FEELING SO GAY!!! Noma is the only other competent fellow in the party aside Kikuru although he still makes mistakes (for fanservice purposes, what else?) and it’s like trying to say the guys are more competent while the girls are not? That’s sexism! On a trivial note, does this series have an animal mascot? Perhaps indirectly. Noticed a pair of squirrel creatures always doing cleaning chores at the guild or having fun hanging out if not on duty? Yeah. Them. Too bad we’re here for the hot sexy fanservice so they’re pretty much forgettable. Yeah, these ladies are natural born porn stars if they exist in another reality!

Not part of the party but also part of the game are the busty mother and daughter combo of Enome and Esyne. Ah yes, we need another set of huge boobs to make our day. Because this is to cater for MILF fans as Enome plays more of a motherly role and then circumstances have her tits get assaulted by an unwitting Kikuru. Whatever. We don’t care. Just show us the tits! Then there is Esyne who keeps hoping for a new family. Although her father is still around and the fact we don’t see him or hear of him, it shows that she doesn’t like him very much. Isn’t that why she is pushing Kikuru to be her new dad? Every time she comes by and sees Kikuru and mama in a compromising position. Cue for witty sexual innuendo comeback. Lastly, Resumisu. This nurse is on par with Tokishikko in terms of laziness and slacking. She carelessly does her job (that’s why she got fired) and also has this inferior boobs complex. Yeah, those huge jugs are sure to scare her. New world, she calls them, huh? Yup, a world that flat chested girls like you will never know! HAHAHA! Sighs…

Art and animation seem to be a bit cartoony especially the character designs. The colouring and hues are quite bright like as though you’re watching a children’s programme but I assure you the content is anything but that. There’s light cell shading too and perhaps that is why it makes this series look a bit cartoony. Even the monsters don’t look that scary and in fact, looking a bit cute if not for their f*cking habit to rape others! Imagine if Pokemon monsters became naughty. This is what it would look like. Seriously. This series is done by TNK who did High School DxD, Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi, Sin – Nanatsu No Taizai, Kenzen Robo Daimidaler and Kandagawa Jet Girls. Hmm… A bunch of fanservice filled series. Now you know why.

Voice acting is pretty normal (I should avoid using the word ‘decent’ for this series) and nothing extraordinary. Not sure if it’s a good thing if I don’t recognize anyone because it would feel weird to hear veteran seiyuus voicing in such sleazy series. Not that it never happened before since there were many ecchi series that had so. Not sure why I’m so particular about this one. Anyway the main casts are Katsumi Fukuhara as Kikuru (Yukiya in W’z), Karin Isobe as Hitamuki (Mio in Just Because), You Taichi as Tokishikko (Dorothy in Princess Principal), Ayano Shibuya as Maidena (Freia in Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi), Yuna Kamakura as Hanabata (Fuuko in Munou Na Nana), Saho Shirasu as Noma (Charlotte in Tantei Wa Mou Shindeiru), Rumi Okubo as Enome (Sharon in Engage Kiss), Yuuyu Shouji as Esyne, Kozue Yuuki as Resumisu (Itsuka in Deaimon) and Nobuo Tobita as Iz (Pekoms in One Piece).

The opening theme is Never The Fever by Sayaka Sasaki. A strange song as it is frantic-cum-dramatic and filled with fanfare and video game-like sound effects in the background. The ending theme is Sugar Sugar Spice by Minami Kuribayashi. And true to its name, feels very sugary and spice with all that liveliness. Of course both opening and ending credits animation have more fanservice with the former having that mind boggling part of everyone undressing and jumping naked at Kikuru (including Noma!!! F*CK!!!) and the latter has the girls in cosplay mode and posing (including Noma!!! F****CK!!!!!!!).

Oh well, what else can I say at the end? Obviously you’re going to watch this because of the ecchi fanservice. Nothing else. Because we’re not brave enough to go watch real hentai so we will settle this for some simple and fun guilty pleasure. I’m sure some of us are still reeling from the shocking and brutal rape scenes that is of Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi and the ultimate boring and mind numbing sex scenes in Isekai Meikyuu De Harem Wo. Heh. Note, I’m not one of those people ;p. This anime takes care of your horny needs from busty to flat chest, from mature babes to lolis and even MILF. Got it all under one roof. Or rather in this case, all under one guild. Best guild ever. Where can I sign up to join? As a ghost member, that is!

Dear Perverts,

Bet you all didn’t know there was going to be a sequel, eh? Oh well, at least I didn’t. Because hell, Peter Grill To Kenja No Jikan S2 sure took me by surprise. Did not expect this to have another season but looks like they proved me wrong. Because it still looks like our voracious babes are still out for our titular character’s seeds. Even if he is the strongest man in the world, he is still the weakest when it comes to playing the faithful game. Uh huh. Don’t forget, he is engaged to a woman whose heart is as pure as a little kid. Literally. So until the day our dear Peter gets stronger in his resistance, there will be more girls out there who are going to target his junk. My guts tell me he won’t. Get it up I feel like being a sex machine…

Episode 1
If you have forgotten the premise the last time (DO WE?!), here, we are told Peter and Luvelia swore to each other forever and hope God would even bless them with a child one day. But as we have seen, Peter cheated on her and f*cked those sluts. Yeah. But now the kingdom is in danger as soon an army of goblins will besiege on them. Yes, horny female goblins who want to rape men!!! So better hide your men and send the women out to defeat those perverts! Or you’ll be like Spartokos who got done in so easily… Such weakling… After managing to capture all of them and avoiding a massacre, Tim talks to Peter about their growing numbers. There are suggestions to cull them and of course Peter is against this. Suddenly his whores drag him away for their sex reward. But when news that Luvelia’s troops have been defeated and she has been captured, this time Peter is strong enough to break out from fun time to go rescue his beloved. Luvelia has been captured by the goblin queen’s elites and they are using her to capture Peter. As they are holding her hostage, Peter has no choice but to get captured by them. Back in their lair, we see a few unfortunate men getting raped by the goblins. Peter assures Luvelia that he will protect her (but can he protect his own chastity?!) and that they will find a way out. Peter is being saved for the goblin queen and now he is taken there as her ‘sacrifice’. But WTF Peter thinks as he notices the goblins who are more intelligent and capable, are more likely to have human-like appearances and hence looking cute. This means the goblin queen must be helluva cute, right? Yeah, Peter. WTF???!!! Well, it’s good to know the goblin queen is one big ugly mother!!! WHO IS YOUR FIANCEE NOW???!!!

Episode 2
Lisa suggests to a truce so that the girls can team up and go save Peter. All for his seed, right? Meanwhile Peter has been done in by the goblin queen! Yeah, felt good, HUH?! But soon a goblin helps him out. Who is she? She knows Peter. Do you not remember her? It is Gobuko. Flashback reveals when Peter and his sister found a lost goblin, they took her in as their own family. However they got separated when goblin hunters came to attack (I hope Goblin Slayer didn’t have a hand in this!). Feared dead, Gobuko escaped and was subsequently taken in by the goblin queen. Peter is glad to reunite with her again. Yeah, now she is so busty and sexy. Too bad the queen’s pheromones are affecting her and she wants to f*ck! Can family members do it?! Meanwhile Tim leads Peter’s girls into the goblins’ lair. WTF Mimi being an idiot trying to find Peter by screaming out loud and attracting the goblins. Then she pressed a suspicious button that has everyone fall through a trapdoor. Well, just in time because Peter might have done in Gobuko too. Everyone is disappointed in seeing him trying to get it on. They hear someone coming and it turns out to be goblin hunter, Kenji. Because of his expertise on the subject, it seems he knows a way to appease them by giving them what they want. However before he can reveal it, he is knocked out. Looks like the goblins have surrounded them. Everyone fights and stalls the goblins while Peter follows Gobuko to free Luvelia. Too bad for them, the goblin queen is here and she is not amused by Gobuko’s betrayal.

Episode 3
The goblin queen claims Gobuko has never belonged to this colony despite she housed and raised her. This makes Peter mad because it’s like they are no better than humans. Now that he is older and stronger, Peter vows to protect her. Flashback shows how the goblin hunters forcefully took away Gobuko. This affected Peter’s sister so much and now she looks like some bitter warrior. Peter and co run away from the goblins but looks like Tim has brought reinforcements as they capture all of them. However when Peter hears that the goblins would be executed anyway, he rushes down to stop their death sentence. He now realizes what Kenji was trying to say. He picks a goblin and did something miraculous that cures her of her heat! I don’t know what mumbo jumbo long winded beating around the bush explanation everyone has said, but basically… JUST GIVE THEM A BLOWJOB AND THEY WILL BE FINE!!! STICK YOUR DICK IN THE TOP AND NOT THE BOTTOM!!! That’s right guys. Now you’ve got to blow hundreds of goblins… In the end, the goblins are saved from death but Gobuko is disowned by her colony. Peter and the rest celebrate this victory. Peter realizing that he has stood up for his principles and will not make the same mistake again. That only lasts till next morning as he wakes up with naked Gobuko in bed! OMG. Did he just do her in?! I know they’re family members and should bring each other joy, but does that include sex?! INCEST! Worst… Peter has also done in the rest of his harem!!! Yeah, he’s right when he says that he is still the weakest!

Episode 4
Gobuko wonders who the rest of these women are. Could they be… FAMILY?! Not sure if Peter should be happy or sad with that. Then a letter from Peter’s sister, Lucy. She’s coming to visit?! Oh sh*t! Peter tries to run away! But don’t look now, she is at the door! Hmm… She looks quite chirpy and not the devil he painted. He tells his harem to hide because if Lucy finds them, they will all die. Once he cleans up the place, he lets Lucy in. She congratulates him on his engagement to Luvelia and then hands him this dragon skull she slew as his gift. Oh sh*t. She wants to put it in this cupboard but he stops her. It’s full. Sure not somebody hiding in there? Then she asks if he is hiding something from her. Like, an affair! Because he couldn’t possibly be like their sh*tty dad who cheats on mom, right?! Besides, the letter also stated how she chased him all the way to the edge of the desert and made him pay for his indiscretion! Yeah, the audacity he had to beg for his life! As Peter goes to get drinks, he remembers Lucy was a sweet girl until dad’s unfaithfulness as well as Gobuko’s case turned her into a psychopath. She never grew out of it. When he returns, looks like something’s amiss. First, she confirms if Luvelia has been here. Nope. So does he bring home other women? Also nope. Well then, WTF these women’s panties she found???!!! Her psychotic nature just switched on as she accuses him of being a liar as she could smell a stench of women here! She tries to kill him as he runs for his life! Holy sh*t! Did a “Here’s Johnny!” moment! But luckily Peter manages to get away as he explains the panties and all these women stuffs belong to Gobuko. He brings her out of hiding and says he didn’t want to shock her too much since she thought she was dead. A happy family reunion. Phew. Ass saved. But why is Gobuko naked? Oops…

Episode 5
Lucy’s suspicions… Who cooked this great meal? Certainly it isn’t Gobuko as she can’t cook and Peter’s kitchen looks so clean. Don’t tell me… He’s been bringing a woman home! Before the berserker can go berserk, this is where Piglette comes in and with great timing, she introduces herself as a nutritionist and the one who cooked for Peter. She invites her to join the guild. This has the rest of the girls think it is a good idea since this would allow them to separate the siblings. With Gobuko pestering, Lucy joins the guild and gets to meet Luvelia. While the girls spar who is the strongest, meanwhile Peter too is having the fight of his life. Yeah, the girls wanting to f*ck him! No prizes to guess who the weaker one is and lost! Later as Luvelia wonders why her movements are a bit sluggish, Lucy thinks she is pregnant. Lucy is thrilled thinking Luvelia admitted so but comes to realize she still thinks babies come from storks! Oh well, looks like being an aunt won’t be probably for a while. Later Lucy sees Gobuko licking candy. She learns Mimi gives her this to keep Lucy busy all day. This is when Lucy becomes mad that Peter is lying and bringing whores home! She rushes back to kill him. Caught in the act! At least they managed to put back their clothes. As she accuses him, Peter claims they were just ‘training’. However Lucy has snuck a recorder underneath the table and recorded what they have said! Busted? Now he will die! WTF Mimi gives him a banana to fight?! Holy sh*t! I think Lucy just destroyed his house! She then tells him how she punished dad by cutting off his junk into pieces! Like how she cut off this banana?! Holy f*ck!!! As Gobuko tries to mediate and doesn’t want to lose her family again, Lucy is still unsatisfied her brother is a cheating sleazebag. That is when Peter has an idea. Conveniently there is a chess piece on the floor and since the girls’ lines resemble chess moves (vaguely), Lucy realizes she has jumped to the wrong conclusion. Oh well, the house is destroyed but at least they got away with their lives. But Peter is more worried, though. Because his crotch is still in danger in many ways from these crazy girls!

Episode 6
Can’t blame Peter. His dick is limp and not performing up to expectations ever since Lucy terrified him of how she chopped dad’s dick into pieces and shoved it down his throat!!! OMFG!!! EXTREME!!! Not even Vegan’s spell for eternal erection worked. Bounced off like a ball! Peter thought he is done for when Lucy catches him in the act! Turns out she is sleepwalking. Phew? Piglette then has a suggestion to relief stress. So everyone except Lucy who has duties at the guild are here relaxing at this spa resort. Peter laments Luvelia didn’t come but sees visions of her. Then he feels someone watching. Meanwhile Luvelia is back home and laments she lied about being sick. Apparently when Albatross found out about this, he objected to it and then pleaded for her not to leave him. Poor Luvelia decided not to and wished she only had Peter’s steely resolve. Yeah, only if she knew the only part he isn’t so steely. When Peter goes to try the massage, he should’ve known better it’s his thirsty harem as masseurs. Should’ve seen this coming as they pour lotion over their body and rubbing them against his. You think sticking a vibrator in his ass would help Peter Jr???!!! Did quite the opposite. More limp than before. He leaves as he thinks perhaps this is better. Soon the girls will give up and he’ll be back to having a platonic relationship with Luvelia. While at the bath with Vegan, suddenly a mysterious fog has them pass out. When Peter comes to, he realizes he is in the elven village of Minestone. Before him is the elven goodwill ambassador, Fulltalia Eldorie.

Episode 7
Fulltalia is Vegan’s younger sister and she wants to f*ck him right now! Thankfully (for now) the resisting force is strong in him despite she is telling him it is an honour to smash a high ranking elf. She gets desperate and casts a spell on his body. This makes him feel 3000 times more sensitive. But as she gets ready to get down and dirty, she is shocked that his dick is limp! How?! Because he is not in love with her! Sorry to interrupt this but grandma is here to talk. Peter then realizes the whole place is rundown as he learns the family has fallen on hard times. Meanwhile Peter’s sluts find Vegan unconscious. Vegan realizes her sister is behind this and will take responsibility to get him back. The rest think this is an unfair move to get ahead of them so they’ll all go rescue him too. Peter hears from the elven subordinates how Vegan was banished from the village and the family had to pay large amounts of reparations. Their great great grandpa stashed away a vast fortune inside this vault but only the power of the sisters can break the seal. As you can tell, both don’t get along well. Hence they hope Peter can mediate between the sisters. You see, goodwill ambassador is just a nice name for a whore. In reality they have to sell their bodies to pay off some of the debt. So if they break the seal, they won’t have to do this job anymore. Wait a minute. So you mean the sisters rather whore themselves than get along for a short while to get the fortune???!!! DUMBASS!!! Peter sees Fulltalia being chastised by the elven head. Since she has failed to be pregnant in exchange for cancelling her debt, she must produce the results the next time she visits. As Fulltalia cries how much she is sick of this, Peter feels pity for her but not enough to lose sight of his love for Luvelia. Too bad, Fulltalia just got desperate. She uses a forbidden magic and suddenly Luvelia is before him. She is ready to make babies with him. Turns out this is an illusion as Fulltalia is taking on Luvelia’s form. Peter can’t resist as he strips and his Peter Jr is back up real hard!

Episode 8
Fulltalia is going to f*ck him but what’s this?! His dick is limp again?! From what I understand, Peter using his right hand to neutralize this deception. Yeah, post nut clarity. Before she can do anything, Vegan whisks Peter away and puts the same spell on her sister. If you’re wondering why the other girls haven’t arrived yet, because Mimi read the map wrongly, they’re in some volcanic area, far away from the elven village. Vegan wants Peter to f*ck her in exchange for undoing Fulltalia’s spell. Turns out to be a lie because only the one who casted it may undo it. Now it’s Peter’s turn to take the lead because he claims as her future husband, he wants to know everything about her. Oh, it’s just to know how the sisters ended up fighting. It all began with Vegan eating Fulltalia’s pudding. They fought and of course Vegan was dominant. Later Vegan tried to create pudding from magic as compensation but it went out of control. Puddings flooded and destroyed the village, causing her family to go bankrupt from the damages. As for why Vegan lied about being a goodwill ambassador, it is to take the burden off her shoulders as carrying a child is a huge responsibility. She doesn’t want her to suffer needlessly. Peter wants her to say those sincere words to Fulltalia and apologize. That should be the ticket to ending this feud. Easier said than done, right? Reluctant and throwing tantrums at first, Peter claims as the king of apologies, it will go a long way. So now Vegan faces Fulltalia. But as she bows, because of her funny reluctant facial expression, Fulltalia takes it as a sign of war. That’s right. The sisters are going the fight. It’s the only way their emotions can get across.

Episode 9
Obviously Fulltalia is going to lose again but Peter protects her before Vegan can unleash her worst. When she does, Peter blocks it and her projection bounces off that elven head. Good riddance? The sisters are going for another round so Peter steps in to stop them. Don’t make grandma any sadder than she is. Peer tells Fulltalia to put herself in Vegan’s shoes, the reason why she is trying to get pregnant in her stead. Since she refuses to believe her sister cares for anyone other than herself, Peter tells Vegan to say those important words. Vegan ultimately and emotionally apologizes. But still, Fulltalia punches her for all those years. At least they are back to being good sisters again. Now it’s time to end this as they use their powers to open the vault. As they look for the inheritance, all they find is a hologram of great great grandpa telling them the importance of teamwork. Yup, the real treasure is their bond! Oh dear. Oh Peter, better get out fast! Too late. Peter is the biggest loser as both sisters now work together to continue being goodwill ambassadors and get his juice! The compensation damage is going to cost a lot! In the aftermath as the rest of Peter’s girls arrive, they see him getting done in by the elven sisters. Yeah, they want to be indulged too after all the troubles they’ve gone true. Yes, more troubles for Peter. Indeed, the biggest loser of them all. Meanwhile, Albatross continues to lie and persuade his daughter that he is on her side. In fact, he has an important mission for Peter. A mission to get rid of him once and for all!

Episode 10
Albatross gives Peter this important mission to do some ceremonial ritual on his behalf. Yeah, he claims he is too old to do it. Anyway, this ritual will strengthen the alliance between their guild and the dwarves. Peter is to wield this orichalcum sword known as Shiratakimaru and he will be guaranteed promotion and Luvelia’s hand. But if he loses or breaks it, not even Albatross can save his ass… So as Peter practises with the sword, suddenly it breaks! Oh sh*t! Realizing it has been tampered with and this is all part of Albatross’ plan to get rid of him, acting on Tim’s advice, Peter rushes down to a dwarven village to find a dwarf who can fix it. Asking around, none seems to be able to fix his problem but they hint there might be one. Misslim Neherlant gets chastised for not wanting to work as she throws a tantrum. She doesn’t want to do blacksmithing and instead wants to be a researcher. However she is threatened her allowance will be cut. Misslim sees Peter and knows who he is. He can help fix this broken sword as she takes him down to her lab. Lots of odd inventions. Currently she is creating a robot soldier that is as strong as the DNA of the person she puts in. Yup. You guessed it. So in exchange to fix the sword, she needs his supreme mushroom cream substance AKA semen if you didn’t get the hint! 20 gallons minimum, OMFG WHAT?! But he isn’t going to f*ck but this sex robot! Yeah, this ugly robo killer is easy to turn anyone off. As he runs, he whacks it and makes it go berserk. Now it turns into some horror character going after Misslim. The farce ends as Peter and Misslim end up locked in a love making room and cannot leave until they f*ck. Oh f*ck. They’re so f*cked.

Episode 11
Albatross meets his dwarven counterpart, Gordo. Old geezer is relishing the fact Peter isn’t here because he discovered the sword has been tampered with and has ran away. Plan working like a charm. Of course we know he is stuck in the room with Misslim. Since dwarf girl is worried about her research funds, Peter assures to financially support her. Music to her ears. Hence she strips naked to get down and dirty with him. All for the money! Meanwhile Luvelia wonders where Peter is as Gordo talks to her. After giving her his early wedding gift of some site tour, he talks about the guild has been protecting dwarves from cicada moles but those threats have not surfaced since 100 years ago. Maybe it is time to re-evaluate the treaty. She then goes to talk to father about this and believes the guild is throwing their weight around to bully the dwarves. The guild is acting like bandits and they should stop doing so as they are honourable warriors. This is quite true in fact as Albatross but he can’t give up this treaty because it brings in the money. So he manages to cook up a lie that there are other threats too. That’s why the treaty stays. Yeah, Luvelia gives up and thinks she can’t go against her father. She wishes she is as strong as Peter. Speaking of him, he is really going to f*ck Misslim?! However Misslim looks uncomfortable so Peter won’t go ahead with it. However she punches him and would rather die than be defeated. Despite her strong will, he body says otherwise. Hence Peter promises her lifelong financial stability! OMG. I think she orgasm hearing that. And just like that, she is all ready to f*ck! Meanwhile the ceremony is about to begin and Peter is nowhere to be seen. Don’t look now but a cicada mole monster just showed up!

Episode 12
Luvelia wants to fight but father tells her not to do anything. Peter’s harem tries to strut their stuff but nothing happens. It’s about time Peter shows up and slices the cicada mole in half with his orichalcum axe! While Albatross praises him for this, he wants to know what happened to him before this. Especially the sword. Peter can’t obviously say he used it to make this axe so he says he was taking a tour around the village and realizes the inequality among the guild and dwarves. To rectify this, he has commissioned Misslim who is a talented blacksmith to redesign the sacred sword. He proposes the guild to continue defending the dwarves while the dwarves continue to forge weapons for the guild. It’s a formula that benefits all. Since the world’s strongest man says so, so be it! Everybody chanting Peter’s name and of course, the only one not amused is Albatross. Later when the guild is preparing to leave, Luvelia tries to talk to her father about needing to go on a vacation with Peter. Damn father shreds her paper to pieces and tells her to come back with him. For the first time, she opposes him and says she’s leaving home! Meanwhile Misslim has lots of stuffs to pack. Yup, she’s going to be part of the harem and moving in with Peter. Not that Peter’s harem is amused. Peter on the other hand is freaking out because he heard from Gordo about what Misslim told him. Oh sh*t, Peter broke up with Luvelia just to marry his daughter?! That’s why they had sex, right?! Peter better hold up the end of his bargain for the sake of this unity! He is fretting over this and feels he is not strong enough to escape. But don’t worry, here comes Luvelia on her horse to whisk him away! That’s right. They’re going on their very much needed vacation, away from all these madness. They ride away, having positive thoughts that as long as they have each other, it’ll be alright. That’s right. Leaving those furious harem girls and an old bugger in despair!

Awesome Sex Prowess: The Sluts Who Shagged Me
OMG! Is it true, this ending?! The good happy ending that we all envisioned for but never believed it would come true?! Peter and Luvelia finally taking matters into their own hands and running away from everything together?! Oh wow. As far as I want to believe this happy ending, somehow there is this scepticism deep down inside of me that believes it will not last long and in an epilogue, somebody will stop them dead in their tracks and hence forcing them to return to their normal fold. Heh. You can thank me for coming up with that but yeah, I’ve seen 2 seasons of this nonsense and other animes of the likes to foresee what happens next! Oh heck, or can we just believe in them that they’ll spend their long vacation together happily ever after? NAH!!!

I believe this season doesn’t even have a proper plot considering the whole series is about Peter getting raped and f*cked against his own will. Hence the only thing left is to add more girls to the harem and hence his little brother will have to work overtime even more! At this point I am thinking that all the girls are just freaking sex maniacs and that excuse of getting his seed so as to give birth to the next generation of strongest warrior whatever is a forgone and forgotten conclusion. I mean, look at it this way. They have been shagging him for so long ever since last season (who knows how many sex sessions and orgies they have gone through) and yet none of them gets pregnant! Once again I am compelled to ask if Peter is really shooting blanks or his pull out game is very strong. Yeah. That. At the end of the day, the whole plot of girls trying to get Peter to impregnate them feels like baloney and they’re all just freaking sluts. And now this season is more or less the same thing but with a few more psycho sluts added to the picture.

And to think that this season’s title is cleverly concealed in this manner. Yup, what a way to attract and bait people with a title like Peter Grill To Kenja No Jikan: SEX. Which is of course short for Super Extra. Uh huh. Peter going into super extra time shagging his usual whores! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… Or maybe his dick is super extra strong this time! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Sighs… And I still don’t see the connection of how all this is related to the Philosopher’s Time. Am I missing something and being blinded by all the sex?

Because of the new sluts characters introduced, it feels like the usual harem of Mimi, Lisa, Vegan and Piglette, they have much lesser screen time and are reduced to minor background characters. Only coming to the fore whenever it is time for sex. After all, what more is there to flesh out about them except for their desires of the flesh? Sorry for bad pun. Maybe a bit of Vegan since they have to introduce her sister and their dumb quarrel. Hence last season’s girls don’t feel like they make much of an impact this season in terms of overall relevance. Except for sex, that is. I suppose we are going to be very bored if the same thing plays out again. Because as we can all already see, Peter gets weak in his game and gets done in. Yes people, at this point it isn’t about the sex anymore!

First to be added to Peter’s ever growing multi-racial sex maniacs is the goblin Gobuko. Well, her character feels a bit like a retard although she is mostly a good natured girl. She can almost get away with the sex part only because of how they know each other since young. But that itself can only go so far. And of course the most intriguing new character goes to little sister Lucy. In short, she is a psycho! The thing that bugs me is that she is so obsessed about cheating that she becomes frantic the moment she thinks Peter is unfaithful. The problem is that it is as though she wants to accuse him of cheating the entire time as she always remains suspicious. Do you not notice how she is always looking for signs of his unfaithfulness? Just need the right moment to pounce and cut off his dick! I hope Lucy isn’t a man hater. I want to think she is tsundere and her violent psychotic behaviour is to hide her love for her onii-san!!! At this point I think it has gone way beyond that so that is not probable. Thankfully she is busy with guild business so she is usually away and don’t have to keep an eye 24/7 on her brother. Phew? I have this thought that Lucy could be even stronger than Peter but because she is a woman, I guess there’s that loophole she couldn’t be the strongest man in the tournament. Also, who wants to f*ck this crazy psychopath?! Yeah, her virginity is definitely safe. Unfortunately I feel her character is wasted towards the end since she didn’t even pop up at all with Gobuko. Wasted potential. Yeah. Things were getting so crazy, don’t need to pile on the craziness anymore, right?

Next up is Fulltalia. What’s better than having a flat chest elf? Why, a busty elf! Because 2 elves are better than one! Well, we already had 2 orc sisters in Lisa and Mimi so why not the same for elves? I don’t know, it feels forced that they need to resolve whatever Vegan’s beef is with her sister and whatever problems plaguing her village. Not that we actually care at this point because we need some story to drive the sexy moments. Coming in really late into the harem is Misslim. Unlike the rest of the girls, she is not motivated with the reason to produce a strong heir. Instead, she’s in for the money! Could you also say she is a prostitute by this definition?! The more money you throw in, the wetter she becomes. F*ck yeah. The more you pay, the better the sex quality! So the speak. However there is one problem regarding the dwarves of this series: How come they look like beast people?! Especially when I thought they were some rabbit clan or something. I know dwarves are hairy and facial hair like beards are their trademark. But to see them have fur covering their limbs and their legs resemble that of a beast, are they actually dwarves? Not that I know much about dwarven lore to begin with. On so because dwarves look like that, I thought Misslim looked like a character from Splatoon…

And before I forget, Luvelia. Ah yes, our lovely and pretty innocent human girl. It pains my heart each time I see her putting her faith in Peter. Imagine what she’ll be if she finds out what he has been doing behind her back! Will she even understand the meaning of cheating?! I think her womanly guts will take over. I fear she might be even scarier than Lucy or the opposite could happen. She would be so sad and die of heartbrokenness. Sheesh. Either way it is not good for Luvelia. Such a loyal woman, we all believe she deserves someone better than Peter. That’s why I’m in a dilemma to support Albatross’ most important goal to get rid of Peter. Yeah, this old dude still hates him. It’s like both father and daughter keep each other in check and can’t make any rash moves. Because of Peter, Albatross cannot become 100% a dictator. And it is also because of Peter that Luvelia has her hands tied and cannot move on. Sure, she claims she looks up to Peter for being the strongest but I have a feeling that is what is holding her back because she has this guy on her mind for the longest time and after the goblin arc, it shows that she somewhat unconsciously relies on him. Thankfully, she finally decides to do something for herself and not always be subservient to her father. Good for her. One step in moving forward to get out of his shadows.

Talking about the fanservice, just like last season there is the censored and uncensored version. Keeping in line with my own consistency, I watched the censored version because, wait for it, my superior imagination! However there is one thing I noticed about this season’s fanservice. Although the blinding lights covering strategic body parts are still as annoying as ever, however if you look hard enough, you can actually see the nipples. That’s right. Somehow the light is not very blinding and if you squint your eyes a little harder, you can actually see those tits! Not sure if they want to make you work for your 2 cents worth of fanservice but yeah, it is not totally uncensored. But why go through all that trouble when you can just watch the uncensored version right away, no?

On a trivial note, last season’s next episode preview is a narration addressed to Peter. However there is no more of that sort this season and instead we have cute and hot cosplaying chicks as Mimi, Lisa and Vegan. A still picture of them posing and telling us to watch the next episode. There’s your fapping material if the series itself doesn’t stimulate you enough! Because I surmise that we all know generally what is going to happen in the next episode so don’t bother to even give us a sneak preview. Yeah, we all know the drill by heart already. Hence to compensate for that, here, have a picture of a threesome of attractive babes instead.

This season’s new casts include Mikoi Sasaki as Gobuko (Hercule in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes), Suzuna Kinoshita as Lucy (Tron in Maou-sama Retry), Kana Yuuki as Fulltalia (Noelle in Black Clover) and Shiori Izawa as Misslim (Tanpopo in Witch Craft Works). The opening theme is Kurenazumu Yakusoku by Isekaijoucho. The song feels like one big weird dramatic play (circus act?) and I can only foresee some sort of tragedy in the end! Yeah, all an act at least for Peter. The ending theme is Koi Gokoro and sung by Hilcrhyme who also did last season’s ending song. So don’t be surprised if it sounds somewhat similar and sometimes you might want to call this a spiritual successor to that. Not too sure about the ending credits animation which tries to paint Peter high on pedestal. His harem flocking below him while Luvelia is the main one in his arms. Something feels so right and also at the same time so wrong about this…

Overall, if you love the trashy first season, you’re going to feel right at home with the sequel because it is more of the same. Nothing gets solved as Peter now has a new host of girls to fornicate with and that only compounds and exacerbates his problem. The strongest warrior in town is also the weakest man when it comes to carnal desires as well as the best cheater ever. All that in one place. Yeah. If they make another season of this, I will be speculating he should add a vampire mistress to his harem as well as beast people like dragons. Then it will be such an awesome and supercharged sex depository! He’ll need more than super extra to last-cum-survive a session. Super Extra Max? As in SuPer ExtRa Max AKA SPERM! Haha, sorry bad pun. With all the f*cking going around, will Peter peter out then?

Isekai Meikyuu De Harem Wo

23 December, 2022

Admit it. You know why you’re here. With that kind of blatant title and the promotional poster that showcases a busty female character, it is obvious that we are checking this out because of the possible sex scenes, right? And so Isekai Meikyuu De Harem Wo is another one of those pseudo hentai anime titles gracing this particular season because what else is there to offer us by baiting us with a main character and his girls. Dungeons are a very dangerous place to go alone. That’s why you need to form a party but nobody said you can’t form one that consists entirely of girls, right? What a good way to double your party members as various character classes as well as sex slaves. Oops! But yeah, we know why and what we’re really here for, right?

Episode 1
What violent game Michio Kaga is playing. When he selects the next game, he is shocked to find himself in a stable. In fact, he thinks this VR game is so life-like. Suddenly bandits attack the village so Michio thinks he can handle it and kills most of them. Somara the village chief thanks him and would love to reward him with all the belongings of the bandits. However Michio notices that this particular bandana is an ordinary one and not having a thief’s properties. Since someone has switched it out, Somara will find the perpetrator. As Michio rests in his room, he is going to log out but realizes he can’t. It soon dawns to him he is stuck in this game world and now remembers the warning when he started this game. Can’t quit, huh? Now he starts to feel guilty of those he killed aren’t NPCs but real people. Next day, Somara has caught the thief. He asks Michio to exact his punishment but Michio leaves it to the village’s rules. Somara then has the thief’s Intelligence Card status turn into of a slave and will be sold off. Half its receipts will go to the victim and the other half to the slave’s family. He also passes Intelligence Cards of the bandits to Michio. Some of them may have bounties and he can claim them in the next largest town, Vale. Along with Somara’s assistant, Michio heads there and after the knight verifies, he is given his reward. Talk about being rude. Michio is then warned to not look at some of the areas in vale. Basically, a red light district. They head to Alan, master of a slave trading house to sell the slave. After parting ways, Michio realizes he knows nothing about this world so he goes back to Alan for some info but instead is offered to buy slaves. Yeah, this hot sexy wolf girl, Roxanne may be his type. Look at those jiggling boobs! Michio asks certain stuffs about owning a slaves so Alan assures him slaves cannot betray their masters or kill them until the day they die. If they do runaway, they will be demoted to bandits and it is unlikely their life will be better. Alan tries to sell Roxanne to him by claiming she consents to sex. Michio is of course tempted by this offer. He really wants her. Because if he lets this chance slip, some other filthy guy may get his hands on her boobs! No way for that! Even if Alan offers a very discounted price, it is still too much for Michio. However Alan can wait for 5 days for him to get the needed funds. With Roxanne gladly waiting for his return, you bet Michio is going to get that cash!

Episode 2
A possible glimpse of the future. We see a grownup Michio and his whores slaves harem returning to the town he first woke up with. Brings back memories, eh? Then he sees a young kid who looks so much like him. Mio his name, huh? Yeah, must be that one night stand in the stable many years back. Talking to him, Mio says his mom is still around while his dad died before he was born. Michio then gives him a sword to protect his mom. Michio and his harem return home. Back to present time, Michio has not gathered enough funds from his whatever jobs. He remembers Alan saying a labyrinth just opened near Vale, the reason why adventurers are flocking here. You know the drill. Some monsters drop rare items that can be sold for a high price. As Michio heads into the labyrinths and going through his list of professions, he experiments with his skillsets. He fights low level monsters named Needle Wood and learns about the trade-off between his HP and MP while using certain skills. After cutting down some of them, he returns to the guild to sell its branch. Not much money there. Yeah, it is going to take a lot more monsters and hours if he is going to make Roxanne his. So he returns to the dungeon next day to cut down more Needle Woods. All for Roxanne! When he thought he stumbles into a secret treasure room, turns out to be a monster den of Needle Woods! Low on MP and HP, Michio struggles his way through. In the end, not sure how but he cut them all down. Yeah, that bunch of twigs, can it even reach close to Roxanne’s price? On the way back, he sees a crowd gathering outside. A corpse of a bandit is found. Michio learns the bandits used to hang out in Vale but were chased out. That’s why they were attacking other small villagers. They think they might be back for revenge. Michio thinks it could be the knights or a rival organization. Realizing his left arm is chopped off because his Intelligence Card can be sold for a bounty, this makes Michio realize that if he is going to risk his life (and dick) for Roxanne, he needs to earn serious money. Yup. This means he is going to hunt bandits. So… Where’s this episode naughty fanservice???!!! Even if it had, feels so f*cking negligible!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

Episode 3
Going through his job list again and setting up the best possible combo, Michio visits the slums. Since bandits won’t show themselves in broad daylight and he can’t stand the stench, he will return again tonight. With a different scenery of the town, Michio stumbles into the red light district. Can he remain faithful to Roxanne? He then spots a bandit and follows him back to the slums. Overhearing him talk to his group about Hugo (the bandit leader he killed when he first arrived in this world), he decides to find out more info. If bandits operate like individual groups, his plan will work out smoother. That night, the hotel owner lets him in on a secret that the bandit’s corpse outside Vale wasn’t for revenge. The true story is that there was a leadership change in the group but the losing group got chased out. That dead bandit belonged to the winning faction but there are other groups targeting them too. Hence making it look like the work of banished bandits and using this chance to take them down. Soon Michio returns to the slums and talks to a bandit, claiming he will give this bandana if he can tell more info on Hugo. He explains Hugo was their boss but other factions joined forces to drive him out. Then he got killed. This guy is obviously trying to steal Michio’s bandana. Michio then burns it, causing him to panic. In his haste in trying to save it, Michio kills him. Michio then goes to where the other boss bandits are sleeping and silently slits their throats. Some noises were made so he manages to kill them and take some of their hands but had to escape because other bandits are coming in. Oh Michio, don’t you get any guilty feelings about having blood on your hands. You decided it was all for Roxanne, right?! But now his mind is panicking wondering if the knights will be suspicious of how he got their Intelligence Cards and all. No use thinking too much. Let’s sleep on it. Next day, he coolly gives the Intelligence Cards to a knight, claiming he had to kill them in self-defence. He is given his reward without a fuss. There. So easy. With enough money, he returns to Alan to get Roxanne. She’s all yours now. But what’s this? Roxanne wants to apologize? Oh, she doubted him once that he’ll come back to get her. That’s all. Yeah, thought it was a scam, huh? With that, Alan makes an official contract between them. Finally. Roxanne. All his!

Episode 4
Michio and Roxanne move into their own room. For starters, Michio gets permission to touch her ears. Damn, I thought that was part of her hair! Anyway, the excuse Michio gives is that he is not from around here so he doesn’t know what constitutes as normal. Read: I can do anything f*cking perverted onto you! HAHAHA!!! Noticing she is barefooted, he gives her a pair of sandals before taking her shopping for equipment and clothes. Yes, that includes shopping for undergarments. Then they go back home and it’s the part we’ve all been waiting for. Yeah. Time for skinship bonding, if you know what I mean. They start off with cleaning each other’s bodies. As expected, Michio can’t be satisfied with just looking at those ungodly tits. Under the pretence of wiping her body, she starts swiping those twin peaks. Definitely amazing, duh! Now that he has gotten this far, might as well go even further because he tells her to strip. Uh huh. Finally the part that we all have been waiting for! It took 4 episodes but here it is! SEX TIME!!! Yeah, he is going deep inside her! Best experience of his life. And there’ll be more to come. And just like that morning comes. I guess they can have another round tonight but it’s time to get serious and do some dungeon exploration.

Episode 5
Roxanne explains about Skill Crystals to Michio. Then there is this blacksmith job that only dwarves can do but she cautions him to not go along with that because many are shady and have ulterior motive. They will claim the blacksmith job failed but then sell it elsewhere to make a handsome profit. If all that is numbing your brain already, here, have some Roxanne fanservice as she wears a vest armour that makes her boobs go boing-boing! Yeah! This we understand! As they venture into the labyrinth together, Roxanne further explains to him about Magic Crystals that store power after each one you defeat. The colour changes depending on how many you kill. I guess this will save Michio from screwing himself over in future explorations, huh? Better buy one when they get back. After a good hunting, they return and they reward us with Michio petting Roxanne. Nothing heavy. More like warm up for later… And also, from all that talking, it looks like Michio gets he consent for sex. After purchasing Magic Crystals for themselves, they return to the labyrinth as once again Roxanne explains about labyrinths being living beings trying to lure adventurers and their deaths feed and expand it. That is why labyrinths expand upwards. The only way is to kill a labyrinth is to defeat the boss on every level and reach the highest floor. As they kill more monsters, Michio also unlocks new sets of skills and can also manage Roxanne’s stats. Because they don’t have any profession that heals, Roxanne notes to become one, you must defeat monsters with your bare hands. So they test it out in various and finally got it as Michio also assigns this monk job to Roxanne. Back home, it’s the part we’ve all been waiting for! Michio under the pretence of cleaning her, we all know it’s more than that, right? They’re going to get even sweatier than this! I hope they had a great sex last night because the next time they visit the labyrinth, they’re ready to take on the level boss.

Episode 6
So the first level’s boss is just some tougher Needle Wood? Yeah well, Michio is strong enough to best it so no worries. It drops some herb leaf in which Roxanne explains how it can be used to make medicine. Then before proceeding to the next floor, they experiment if they can return to the boss room again from the next floor. Apparently not. So they go fight the boss again and get more herbs. Making a few medicinal pills and selling them at the guild for some money. The duo then proceed to the second floor in which monsters are now in pairs. Roxanne explains about some multiplier that after certain floors, the number of monsters in a group doubles. So now they have to deal with Needle Wood and Green Caterpillar. Don’t worry, even if Michio gets trapped in the web, he still can kick ass. As they return to Vale, Michio ponders about the strategy to fight multiple monsters since he can’t use a spell for multiple targets. He might have to consider travelling to safer ones. When Michio spots a shady bandit spying outside Alan’s place, he goes to warn Alan about it. Alan doesn’t seem to be all that concerned. Well, in this line of business he is sure to have some enemies. However he thinks this might be connected to Michio. You see, the thief that was sold as a slave was bought recently bought yesterday by a couple of guys. They aren’t ordinary people as they have an interest in the thief’s bandana. Because he is no longer Alan’s property, he is free to move around in this place (his buyers claim to come back for him tomorrow). It is deduced he might unlock the doors and let his fellow bandits in tonight. Because Roxanne is worried about this place as there were a few who took care of her, Michio suggests Alan hire him as a bodyguard. He agrees and will pay him. He also gets to keep any equipment or Intelligence Card the bandits drop. They will meet again at early morning. Because we haven’t had any sex this episode, here is our very short passionate French kissing morning wakeup call. That’s it?! Michio and Roxanne go off the Alan’s place as he and his combat slaves wait for the bandits to make their move.

Episode 7
As the bandits are heard coming in and fighting has already begun, Michio spots a fleeing bandit taking refuge in a room. He thinks think of testing this dangerous Equivalent Exchange spell that could end in death if he has less HP than the enemy. He tests it out and it seems something happened. It leaves him drained and almost close to death. He regrets it being successful and thought it would have been better if it failed. When the rest come in, they see the bandit in some bloodied pulp. Alan thinks a self-destruct orb was used. Michio is glad nobody caught on to the spell he was using and further thanks his blessings that had he ran out of HP first, he would’ve ended up like that. In order to replenish his MP, Michio head to the labyrinth to fight some monsters and replenishes in no time. Since he has met some requirements to be a mage, he starts experimenting with different spells. He thinks of switching to using magic for combat since his primary goal is to protect Roxanne. Yeah, nobody serves him this good in bed! After defeating the second level’s boss, they head to the third floor and we’re introduced to kobolds. Uhm, they look like gremlins or goblins?! But they’re weak as hell. Having gathered enough experience for today, they head back. Michio notices someone advertising a one way trip to the next town, Quratar. Roxanne explains it’s like a stagecoach. So it’s like Michio’s teleportation? Because Quratar has a bigger labyrinth and hence more shops to serve adventurers, Michio takes a trip there so the next time he can just teleport there with Roxanne for free. Once that is done, they head home and bath and it’s the part we’ve all been waiting for. Yup, today’s reward for everything is another round of smoking hot sex. Worth every gold he bought her with, eh? Now if only he had a private home so he can f*ck every other time… One more for the road? Because the next day they head to Quratar. As adventurers must pay a fee to enter the labyrinth that is in the centre of the town, Roxanne suggests using his teleportation to avoid that. Sneaky now, aren’t we? I wonder if it’s the effects of the sex…

Episode 8
Michio and Roxanne look for some new weapons in a store in Quratar. Then they shop at the hardware store and since they are looking for a place to stay, the hardware store lady is also somewhat a real estate agent and the one in charge of this district in Quratar. She makes some recommendations and then brings them to the outskirts to have a look. It’s like Michio and Roxanne know this is going to be some sort of haggle so they try to reduce the price of the rent by stating its unkempt lawn, etc. She too tries to throw in some freebies but provided they buy something from her store. Michio takes a look inside and then tests his teleportation. It seems to work despite the lady saying it couldn’t because of some cement material. Once done, Michio agrees to rent this place. The duo then head back to the 3rd floor of Vale’s dungeon to test his new weapon. Works like a charm. Since this would be their last night at Vale’s inn, this is probably the excuse needed to engage in sex. Need to make one last memories of this place. After moving over to Quratar, Michio visits the labyrinth. He finds it has the same structure as in Vale but a lot more crowded. When no one is watching, he uses his teleportation. Now he can have free access without have to pay a single fee. Yeah, best things in life are free, no? Even more so when they’ve got their own place to say, they can even have daytime sex! Oh yeah, round 2 baby!!! Only, interrupted by those furniture movers! But don’t worry, they can continue where they left off at night. No one to interrupt them this time. Sex must be so much better with furniture than in an empty room, eh?

Episode 9
Wow we’re starting off with sex already? Oh well, there’ll be more time for that later because now they head in to explore Quratar’s dungeon. They fight the first level’s boss, a kobold that is so f*cking weak and slow! With kobolds occupying the next floor, I bet it gets pretty boring for them. So we see them in between doing dungeon exploring while tending to their household needs like planting a garden and Michio trying to get a big bathtub. Yes, must take his perversion to the next level! Rinse and repeat this process until one floor boss, Michio suddenly gets attacked since he let his guard down. I guess they want to troll us and wake us up from all the boredom so we see him trying to heal Roxanne while dealing with this sheep monster. Eventually they win. When they return home, just in time for the big bathtub to arrive via delivery. Michio fills it up with water and even uses his flames to make it hot. Then it’s experiment time as he uses soap to wash Roxanne’s body. Yeah, even getting poetry about how easy it is to wash her snow-capped mountain peaks! Then it’s Roxanne’s turn to be a little aggressive as she washes his body for him. Let’s hope some white sticky stuff won’t get mixed with the rest of the soap! First bathing experience so incredible. Later as Michio ponders about Roxanne’s injuries, he realizes he can’t put all the burden on her. Hence he needs to add more front line fighters to his party. You mean like a harem? It’s about time!

Episode 10
Up in the 7th floor of Quratar’s labyrinth, Michio and Roxanne have been killing lots of rabbits and they drop lots of rabbit pelts and sometimes rabbit meat. On another visit, while waiting to fight the level boss, ahead of them is a lone adventurer. He has spent 2 years levelling up and feels he is strong enough to move forward and fight the boss. His plan is to form his own party after this. So when it is Michio and Roxanne’s turn, they easily defeat the boss but find the previous adventurer dead since his loot is left behind. Because of that, the thought that Michio might die like him tomorrow weighs heavily on his mind. Hence he is a bit rough while f*cking Roxanne. To dispel all his worries, she lets him sleep in her boobs. Definitely does miracles. This gives him motivation to do more adventuring. Once Michio has about 300 rabbit pelts, he goes to sell them. He also buys a pair of camisole for Roxanne. Spicing things up, huh? The adventuring continues and Michio being overconfident gets slightly injured although the enemies are soon defeated. Back home as they bath, Roxanne trying to heal his injured finger by sucking on it. This leads to Michio giving her the green light to do a blowjob on him. You can bet that all his injuries are miraculously healed! Yes, thanks to Roxanne and her magic mouth! HAHAHA! Then it is round 2 of sex as Roxanne dons the camisole and continue with night time activities. With all that sex, this is enough fuel for their next labyrinth adventure. However with the increasing enemies and Michio taking longer to defeat them as it is also getting retiring, he really needs to consider expanding his party. Yeah. We’re still waiting for that harem! Good news, the enemy drop a Skill Crystal.

Episode 11
Michio realizes that a dwarf’s skill is needed to harness this Skill Crystal. But he managed to merge 2 and created a good one. So he needs a blacksmith or not? Michio wants to go to Alan to write a will. This shocks Roxanne but Michio reasons that he realizes death is always around the corner. Hence in the event if he dies, he wants Roxanne to be freed and not follow her master into death. Roxanne claims this is not necessary as she vows to protect him as a warrior. What if Michio dies from other stuffs like sickness? Oh, Roxanne going to be a doctor now?! Michio still wants to visit Alan since he intends to get another front line fighter. They head there and they discuss about the dwarves’ skill as blacksmiths. Due to that being a highly skilled profession, it is rare to have blacksmith slaves. Currently Alan has a dwarf slave but she isn’t suited to fight in the front lines. Michio would like to see this dwarf first. So, this petite cutie Sherry is a dwarf? I thought she was an elf! Sherry explains she failed to become a blacksmith due to some aptitude test she failed. Not that I understand. Michio seeks Roxanne’s advice and while she has positive reviews, she also fears Sherry may not last long because of the thinning of her ears. Not really understanding this either. So when Alan returns and talks to Michio about selling Sherry to him, Michio can tell he is trying to sell her as soon as possible. The way he drastically reduces the price is an indicator. Despite being way cheaper than Roxanne, Michio still won’t lose out and has Alan throw in some freebies in addition to a very discounted price. With that, Sherry is now a member of his party. Taking her to their home and being the newbie, Sherry is shocked to learn the God-like abilities of Michio. From his teleport skills to his magic offensive, the ride’s only beginning so gear up and be prepared to be astonished by Michio’s awesomeness! Wait till he get to the bed part… HAHAHA!!! Speaking of which… THIS EPISODE HAS NO SEX SCENES!!! REFUND! REFUND! REFUND!

Episode 12
Since Sherry claims she is used to a mallet as her weapon of choice, Michio goes to the store and gets her a club. Look at how powerful her swings! Then they talk about her skill slots which doesn’t prove anything useful as far as this season is concerned. To show off his great skills, Michio has Sherry tag along with them to the Vale dungeons. As expected, Sherry is impressed with everything he does. Then back home, Sherry cooks for them and Michio gets a taste of her dwarven cooking. But he has to remember this unwritten rule to serve the first slave first or else he’ll get that piercing death stare from Roxanne! When the slaves talk about humans unique job as a sex maniac, I guess this justify the reasons for what comes next!!! ARE YOU READY?! That’s right. Bath time. This time with 2 lovely babes. Of course Roxanne goes first followed by Sherry. Since the latter is still having confidence issues with her small boobs, Michio doesn’t think so and hopes she will have more self-confidence. Once they’re done cleaning themselves, now it’s the main event. Yes. Night time sex activities! Michio forgot the order and goes for Sherry first. Oh sh*t. Michio saves himself by claiming he’ll save the best for last! Phew, that worked! But anyway, Roxanne goes first. Once she is done, he still has energy left for Sherry. Get a taste of what being f*cked by your master the first time! If that isn’t enough, Roxanne then joins in for a threesome! Yeah, definitely the best sex ever! For now! Next morning, Michio checks his stats and WTF he has Sex Maniac Level 1???!!! DAFAQ?! Riding on this wave, what do you think is the best method to raise this level? Why, get more slaves! So be it getting from another slave trader or slave auction, Michio goes on a slave buying spree. First he adds cat girl Miria to the harem. This is followed by dragonkin Vesta and finally the elven girl Rutina. I can see why Sherry is so jealous and mad at the new additions. These busty buxom babes literally pushed her down the boobs pecking order! With his harem fighting over who should f*ck him, Michio’s answer: He’ll take ‘em all on at once! I wonder what level his Sex Maniac is right now…

Is It Wrong To Pick Up Whores In A Labyrinth?
Right now Michio can forget being an adventurer since he enjoys his Sex Maniac profession so much. Who needs to conquer the labyrinths all over this world and risks their only and valuable life when he can equally have so much fun and even more with his harem. Hey, doesn’t matter what world you come from. Be it reality or some game world, the ultimate goal is to be happy. And for Michio, he found that by f*cking his slaves. Oops, I mean harem. And that makes us all lonely otaku virgins so jealous! GRRR!!!!!!! Wished we all were somewhat and somehow like him, huh?!

When you think about the whole story and plot, it is actually nothing special. In fact, so generic that it is boring as f*ck. Moreover, come to think of it, I don’t think there is any special plot to begin with. At least for this season that we have seen. It’s basically just Michio entering labyrinths to level up as he learn bit by bit the peculiarity of this world while establishing some sort of relationship (and sexual one) with his slave(s). That’s about it. No nefarious plot of some megalomaniac villain trying to take over or destroy the world and that Michio as the chosen hero must go on a journey to save the world. Nothing of that sort. Or even if the world is dying from some sort of essence and the only way to heal it back is via sexual power and thus lots of f*cking is needed. I know it’s sh*t plot but hell yeah, better than this boring f*ck. Hence this is what makes the overall series somewhat disappointing.

But it can’t be more disappointing with the fact that the title of this anime trolled and clickbaited us. Uh huh. Remember the most important word in the title? Does the word harem mean anything to you?! You need at least 2 chicks for that to be called a harem! But for the most part we only see Michio and his only slave AKA Roxanne throughout the episodes. So… WHERE IS THE HAREM PART?! Damn, the opening credits animation did show all his girls but where the heck are they?! Did they lie to us about the harem part?! Sure, they leave it late to add Sherry to the party but as you can very well see, the series has already ended. I am also sure that another logical explanation is that they want to flesh out the relationship and bonding between Michio and Roxanne. It only makes sense since she is first and only slave then so it is only right to see how they gradually grow closer to each other. Which is fine but outside this context, there is nothing else. That’s why they showed us a glimpse of the possible future of the ladies Michio will eventually have. How many more seasons later to only reach this stage? Looks like it is going to take a while… Oh wait, they rush through all that in the final scenes. Michio buying his multi-racial sex slaves! What is he?! A sex slave collector?! Harem is the correct term! Now he only needs a vampire princess to be added to the list! Then he can be an immortal and continue f*cking forever! HAHAHA! Sighs…

Of course when a series like this lacks any sort of interesting story, it has got to be all about the fanservice AKA sex scenes, right? Honestly, at this point they are quite numbing to me. In other words, they don’t feel stimulating or not the least bit made me feel horny that I would want to jerk off. Nope. Really. I have to say that Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi still remains the most shocking one and even Shuumatsu No Harem would even seem more interesting than this. Therefore it’s like the only goal of each episode is to see Michio f*ck Roxanne, sacrificing any sort of story the series had (if there were any in the first place), turning this pseudo hentai series close to being a hentai one. I mean, there is literally no story to follow in porn, RIGHT?!

Having said that, it is obvious that a series like this is going to have a censored and uncensored version. But what’s this? There are 3 versions of it?! Okay. One uncensored, the other fully uncensored and another one… Less censored. WTF. It’s like you can’t decide in turning into some full porn degenerate so you decided to take the middle ground and watch something that is less censured but still have some scenes uncensored. I don’t know about how less censored it is as I watched the uncensored one since it was released together with the censored versions. I know, I did say that when I often watched the censored one since my imagination is superior! Hey, if all are presented together, why not take the obvious choice? It’s not that I would lose anything, right? Besides, even as I said, watching the uncensored version, the sex scenes didn’t feel exciting at all. Imagine if I watched the censored one (which looks like error pop-up banners), how much more boring my experience it would be. I hope if those error banners that the image can’t be displayed popping up too many times like Windows Error, it won’t cause your PC to crash and cause BSOD! I don’t know, has anybody watched the entire version of this and experienced this?!

Then there is another strange censorship about this series but only if you are watching with subtitles. You see, there are certain words that are censored out and I am not sure whose bright idea this is. Because those words aren’t even strong words like f*ck or penis or vagina. Because words like whores and sluts are censored out. The Japanese audio itself is not censored. Just the subtitle of it. For example, “This red light district is where the [Bleep] are, right?”. So if you want to know that word which has been censored out, hope you understand your Japanese. That’s why I am puzzled whose bright idea is this to censor out the words, like as though they think we can’t handle such pussy words. Thus giving this whole uncensored version a bizarre experience. Oh yeah. Sex scenes with fully naked individuals in motion, okay. But having a small talk about sex and all, [Bleep]! WTF?!

With fanservice and sex out of the way, let’s get back to the other stuff in the series that I want to talk about. The most mind boggling thing about this series is the dungeons. I have this feeling they copied or took inspiration from DanMachi because you know, how the labyrinths go upwards and stuffs like that. The problem is that for a big part of the dungeon that we see, it is just a straight corridor and sometimes in the way are monsters. Uhm, isn’t a labyrinth supposed to be a twisting maze? To be fair, we are not shown the entire layout of the floor but each time, how come it is just the same f*cking straight corridor?! It’s just like a path to reach the boss room to get to the next level. No wonder this series is so f*cking boring. This monotony adds to the boringness. And you thought with the word dungeon in its name, they will be the ‘main stars’ of this series but nope. You know nothing about it. Just a stepping stone for Michio to level up and get whatever items, sell them, get some new skills whatever. BOOOOOORIIIIIIING!!! Even right till the very end, I am still very blur on how the RPG system works. Not that I care anyway. The switching of jobs or crafting or fusion of certain items, I just take it at face value at what Michio has to say. It turned out in his favour so I guess it must be true then. Hence despite Roxanne explaining all those stuffs, eventually all those do not really matter and are forgettable. Skill Crystals, Magic Crystals… Don’t see the significance they play for this season.

As for the characters, what else can I say? The whole idea of this series is the fanservice and nothing else. So the plot suffers, the characters also suffer. They are only there to provide fanservice and the sex. Nothing else. Because Michio is your typical main character who gets trapped in this game world. You do remember that, right? Because he is from another world, this gives an excuse for him to learn things and level up. Thus slowly turning this normal and ordinary character who is one with God-like powers. I mean, he already has a teleport spell in which he monopolizes that nobody else uses. In time to come, I am sure he is going to have that invincibility skill in which nobody in his party will ever get hurt! Other than that, Michio is a pervert and a sex maniac. Hey, don’t take it from me. Michio himself admitted this degeneracy of his. So obvious that now it is engraved in his skill set. Obviously he would be a dumbass too if he doesn’t take advantage of his harem by f*cking his bevy of hot chicks. So are we so envious of this lucky bastard? He might not be the most morally upright guy but I guess he is trying to score some brownie points with us by treating his sex slaves, oops I mean battle comrades nicely. An excuse for them to love him back as much. Too bad for those who want to scorn him as a dick character.

As I have said, Roxanne being the first and sole slave of Michio for the most part of this series is to develop and flesh out their relationship with each other. Hence turning her into some sort of sex object. Yup, those ungodly boobs says it all. The reason she is so prominently featured on the initial promotional poster, the reason why we horny otakus were baited to f*cking watch this. Don’t worry for you flat chest lovers, now with Sherry in the picture, lucky bastard Michio can have the best of both worlds! Variety is the spice of life! Anyway, something about Roxanne puzzles me. The fact that she is a slave, she seems to be very knowledgeable about the workings of this world. Okay, I believe even if she is an NPC character, she might be programmed to have such knowledge. But let’s assume that this isn’t a game and all, it bewilders me to find that when Michio asks something, Roxanne can reply with lots of accurate details. Like as though she has been dungeon crawling before and has accumulated the experience-cum-knowledge. I don’t know how long she has been a slave but assuming she has been one for a short time, it would be dumb for her previous master to let her go. Got bored with her? Or did her previous master die? Or does she even have one since she is so loyal to Michio, indicating he is her first master. Or at least the first person who treats her this nice. And made her feel so good! No wonder she pledged her body, oops I mean life to him forever. Sherry came in late so there’s nothing much to say about her as well as the rest of Michio’s harem. All we know for sure is that they will become his sex slaves. RPG members for dungeon exploration doesn’t sound nice rolling off the tongue. Yeah…

It could be me just overthinking or hoping something about this Alan character. I don’t know, maybe he would be some sort of villain in disguise but he just turned out to be a generic slave trader and just a male ally for Michio. Otherwise, as far as this season is concerned, his character doesn’t feel a lot significant to the plot. Oh who am I kidding? This series has no plot to begin with other than harem sex!

Art and animation are pretty standard. While it is not top notched, obviously they have to put in some effort because yeah, who wants to see low quality fanservice. At least when a series has sacrificed its story and character development, they are free to concentrate on the fanservice animation. The character designs are okay. Michio looking bloody generic while his harem girls have their own distinctive look so as not to get bored while he makes out with them. Yeah. That. Also, I want to note Sherry’s weird twin broomstick hairstyle! When she lets them loose, they’re scattered like a used mop! Weird. There are some scenes that might get very dark to see anything but as long as the sex scenes are clear, I guess that only matters. There are also some bloody and gory parts especially during the initial episodes where Michio had to fight bandits. But I suppose that pales in comparison and becomes forgettable once the sex scenes start rolling. This anime is done by Passione and if that studio’s name sounds familiar, they also did another pervy anime: Ishuzoku Reviewers. Sex sells, right?

Voice acting is also pretty standard. Didn’t recognize anyone except for Shizuka Itou making her cameo as the hardware store lady in Quratar. I thought Alan sounded familiar but couldn’t put my finger on it. He is voiced by Kenta Miyake who is more popularly known for All Might in Boku No Hero Academia. Haha, personal joke he retired as a superhero and is now trading slaves! The other casts include Taku Yashiro as Michio (Ryuuji in Darwin’s Game), Shiori Mikami as Roxanne (Historia in Shingeki No Kyojin), Shiori Izawa as Sherry (Tanpopo in Witch Craft Works), Honoka Kuroki as Miria (Ruise in Seiren), Mikako Izawa as Rutina (Kaede in Assault Lily: Bouquet) and Rina Honnizumi as Vesta (Sizilien in Kenja No Mago).

The opening theme is Oath by Shiori Mikami. A rock based that feels a bit out of place in this fanservice genre. If this series was primarily action adventure, say like Sword Art Online, perhaps it would be fitting. But now it sounds more like trolling because we mostly see Michio and his girls in some monster slashing action in the animation. As for the ending theme, Gentleman’s Deal 600,000 Naal by the duet of Michio and Alan, this one sounds a bit interesting because it feels like it tries to copy off the vibes Village People’s hit song, YMCA. Something that Ishuzoku Reviewers did and in a fun way. However this one sounds a bit dramatic and its lyrics trying to be poetic describing the masterpiece beauty works of art of somebody’s curvaceous and sexy body. But overall it lacks that whatever oomph that would’ve made this song great in my books. Furthermore, in many parts of the song, it sounds like macho men singing, making it feel somewhat gay!

Overall, this series is disappointing in many ways and it’s like they just want to cash in on the obvious and blatant sexy fanservice. Nothing else really mattered. It is clear which demographic this series is intended and targeted for. Are we satisfied with our low budget cheap thrill yet? Even if you turned off your brain and turned on your libido, this series will revert the latter back to off! Heck, might even extinguish it unless you’re a hopeless sex maniac case. I am not sure if things will get better because maybe things will start to get rolling once Michio achieves his harem. Greater story, greater character development and of course greater sex! But like any other pseudo hentai of the season, what are the chances of it getting a sequel? Otherwise, let’s wait and see what the next season of pseudo hentai will have to offer us. Let’s hope it’s not a gamer stuck in an adult visual novel eroge. I will definitely [Bleep] to that!

Shuumatsu No Harem

29 May, 2022

It sounds like an ultimate fantasy of horny men. The kind of plot that was written specifically to play out male fantasies or at least virgin losers who can’t get laid. The kind of story that would definitely have one think that this came straight out of some porn director’s mind or a hentai game. Yup. I’m talking about Shuumatsu No Harem. In the not too distant future, a certain virus decimated almost every male in the world. With men being considered now as scare resources, hence it becomes a competition of all sorts for the women to mate with these men to produce children so that humanity can continue its existence. I know. Sounds freaking ridiculous at first glance, right? But yeah. That’s what this anime is. And yes, those of you who are planning to dive into this, you better expect the sex scenes. That’s what it’s about and why we are here, right?! Can I call this the world’s biggest Sex-lympics too?

Episode 1
Reito Mizuhara confesses to Erisa Tachibana. Of course she knows his feelings since they have been together for a long time. This confession is prompted because Reito has contracted cellular sclerosis and will be induced into a cold sleep to help treat it. So what does Reito hope for Erisa to say? He thinks he is being considerate because he doesn’t want her to wait for 5 years but I guess that’s not the answer she wants to hear. At the hospital, Reito says goodbye to his siblings, Ryuu and Mahiru. Erisa barges in last minute to say her goodbye so Reito gives his pendant for her to hold onto till he wakes up. 5 years later, he wakes up and before him is a discount Erisa? Nope. It’s Mira Suou who claims he is his attendant. His sclerosis has been healed and she will explain to him what happened when he was asleep. 4 years ago, a virus named Corona MK Virus infected and killed half the population. It is transmissible via air and there are no cures or vaccines for it. Reito is shocked to see the devastated lands. He realizes something is really wrong. Where are all the men? Yup, that virus, MK Virus is Male Killer (f*ck! I thought it was Mortal Kombat!) and only infects males. Many of them died (FATALITY!!!!) and there are only a very small number of them in cold sleep. Heck, currently there are only 5 males in the world right now?! Reito is spared because somehow his sclerosis problem made him immune to it. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yup, Mira wants her to mate with the women of this world! F*ck everybody! Literally! You can see how desperate some horny women are. Luckily those bodyguards took them out.

Reito watches the history when MK Virus was at his height. With all the men gone, I guess UN became UW (United Women but f*ck, not United World?) took control of the riots and chaos to govern the world. It was found that men that underwent sclerosis treatment were immune to MK Virus and they will be slowly released one by one as the world’s new hope. Reito wonders if artificial insemination would work. Nope. If you are born male, you still die within a few days. Even using the sperm of a male with immunity (one who woke up before Reito) failed. So it has to be sex, HUH???!!! Reito is still in shock but Mira wants him to get down to business to propagate his seed. Since he won’t, she’ll let someone he knows to convince him. Mahiru is happy to see him. She shows him Ryuu sleeping in cold sleep. Where’s Erisa? She has been missing 3 years ago. Mira reports to her boss who chides her for her failure to have Reito start his f-*cking job. He isn’t impotent and not even gay, so what’s the hold up! Get to it! So that night, Mira herself tries to seduce him but thoughts of Erisa has him reject her. Well, if he isn’t going to f*ck her, then she has no further business with him. She leaves but Neneko Isurugi offers to let Mira skip the queue and let her f*ck her man. Mira declines since she is in charge of Reito. Later Mira has Reito do window shopping on the girls he would like to sleep with and of course he declines. He is not an animal! Mira explains that many women have fallen into poverty. Those who bore his child will definitely be lifted out of it. You save her, you save humanity. Think so? Also, there is a possibility that men in cold sleep might die within a year as this method is just delaying the advancement of the disease. With Mira begging, Reito wants her to give him a month to find Erisa. She is the one he wants to mate with. She agrees but has a condition. He will sleep with a girl she chooses. The reason is that if he is intent on saving himself for her, his seduction will fail. Hence it would be easier for them if he succumbs to temptation.

Episode 2
Kyouji Hino is the first guy who got unfrozen. He has f*cked a lot of women and is somewhat bored with his next choice. So Neneko brings him his favourite actress, Rena Kitayama and this guy gets it on. As Reito enjoys some fine cooking, Mira says she’ll assign a nurse and bodyguard for him. He’ll be sleeping with them. But whatever he does in bed with them is another matter. Hino then meets Reito and he is happy to make friends with another male. He claims the paradise he is in now as he gets to f*ck lots of beautiful women. No time to chat, got to go make some babies! As Reito thinks about finding Erisa, suddenly Akane Ryuuzouji comes in to seduce him in his bath. Not sure if it got too hot to handle because Reito faints! Wuss! Don’t you dare kill the golden goose! Later he wakes up and finds this loli, Sui sleeping next to him. Don’t worry, nothing happened. These women are the ones that Mira said will be assigned to him. As Mira takes Reito to the lab where Erisa works, he explains why he believes Erisa is still alive. Inside the pendant he gave her has a tracker. It’s working but it cannot pinpoint its location if she’s outside Japan. How convenient and inconvenient. Suddenly a bear runs loose! WTF?! This is to show how Sui takes it down with a single kick! So yeah, Sui is the bodyguard while Akane is the sexy doctor. I wouldn’t have guessed it. Inside Erisa’s lab is a mess. After she went missing, someone broke in to steal her research on MK Virus. Reito remembers Erisa’s goal to become a doctor to find a cure for rare diseases was because their dog died. Hence Reito wants to become a doctor to find a cure for MK Virus. I guess there is only so much he can f*ck, right? Might as well go for the big cure. No fun… As part of that goal of his, he announces worldwide via interview and lets the world knows about his intentions and goals. Mahiru doesn’t like this because this attention will put him in danger. But thanks to that, he can now have access to the lab for research. Then he stumbles into some hidden communicator that belongs to Erisa. Looks like a message from her. She reveals that MK Virus is not natural and manmade! OMFG!!! I HOPE IT’S NOT FROM THE WUHAN LAB!!! She also claims there are liars everywhere and nobody can be trusted. Now we see a group of shady UW b*tches of Japan’s branch. They mock at Hino who is f*cking like a horse and also the same for Reito who won’t even f*ck a single woman. What a failure. What a waste of time. Especially having Mira tend to him. They plan to unfreeze the third guy and proceed to the next stage in their plan.

Episode 3
Shouta Doi became a target of bullying. Not even his best friend could help him. Everyone else doesn’t even care. His teacher, Yuzuki Hanyu knows his plight but there is nothing much she can do. At least her kind words of encouragement gave him some hope. Of course one day he got diagnosed with that cellular sclerosis. When Yuzuki told the class and had them say goodbye, nobody gave a f*ck!!! Ultimate disrespect when they just went off like as though they don’t exist!!! Yeah, probably they see her as only a pair of boobs. The night before the cold sleep, only his younger sister, Mayu made a courtesy call. They even joke by the time he wakes up, she’ll be older than him. And so Shouta goes into cold sleep with nobody to even see him off. But he can take heart he won’t have to see those bullies again. When he wakes up, he is greeted by Karen Kamiya who is his perky assistant. He learns what is going on but still finds it hard to believe it. To soften the shock, he is sent back to his former high school and his classmates are all girls. Still feels weird. After school, Karen takes him to see Yuzuki who is very happy to see him. She wants him to come to her room tonight to talk about things. During PE, Shouta sits out as he watches the rest play. Karen introduces some of the potential girls (why the heck describing their boob size?! Not that I’m complaining…) that include Natsu Ichijou, Shunka Hiiragi, Akira Toudou and Chifuyu Rain Kuroda. She hopes he can get to know them all better. That night, Shouta goes to meet Yuzuki. Basically, she seduces him and lets him f*ck her! Oh yeah, if this is a dream, he doesn’t want to wake up! So you feeling unreal from everything still? Next day in class, he interacts better with the other girls since some share the same idol group passion with him. During volleyball, Akira accidentally spikes the ball and it hits both Shouta and Chifuyu! All the girls rush to Shouta’s side. ARE YOU OKAY! Akira will do anything to make it up to him! Nobody cares for Chifuyu… How things have changed… Late Yuzuki visits Shouta while playing the piano. I guess she got worried about him getting hurt and does some ‘magic’ to make the pain go away. But wait. There’s more. She is also feeling some sort of pain in her chest and hopes he can make it go away. I can see where this is going as she is stripping herself… Oh yeah, definitely the pain will go away! Meanwhile Karen reports to a higher up regarding this tactic of hers. All the girls here are unaware that there are other men alive and that Shouta is the only man in the world. Whatever. Just get the results.

Episode 4
It’s the weekend. No school. Don’t worry, we’ll have extracurricular lessons and f*ck each other! Oh boy. Shouta now taking the initiative to go f*ck Yuzuki. That’s my man! During pool lessons, Shouta is also sizing up the attractiveness of the other girls. Chifuyu being the cheeky flat chest as she exposes Akira’s tits as proof why she cannot go faster in swimming! As a result, Akira tosses her into the pool! Her legs can’t reach the bottom… Later, Shouta is shocked that Natsu is here to stay with him for a week. Turns out some rooms have their air-conditioning spoiled and what a coincidence they are 1 room short. And did I mention that Natsu is a rich girl so her servant does everything for her and that includes dressing her up as well? Oh boy. Shouta gonna be her servant and undress her… He’ll get used to it… That night, she requests to sleep with him. She tells him how she was supposed to get married 5 years ago to a guy that is 20 years her senior just for her father’s business. However her dad and fiancé died from the MK Virus. In a way, she felt it was a good thing this virus happened. Shouta doesn’t blame her and also agrees this virus was a good thing. And hence this is your sleazy excuse for them to undress and have sex! Shouta is getting good as this game… Meanwhile Reito is surprised his interview has made him even more famous and there are girls thronging outside the gates just wanting to see him. Mira also reports that Mahiru has been going to the refugee area a lot. She will try to warn her to not do so very often because there it could be dangerous if they find out she is Reito’s sister. Shouta goes to apologize to Yuzuki for doing it with Karen. She’s find with it since he belongs to everyone. Yeah, why is she crying? Shouta then confronts Karen and wants to know the truth behind this school. He thinks they’re keeping him alive as he is a precious sample to fight against MK Virus whom they have no clue for the vaccine. Hence she is just using everyone to get data for the vaccine. She then reveals about how artificial insemination won’t work and they don’t know if his child will inherit his immunity. But if they don’t have his genes, humanity won’t survive. This school has done its job in checking the girls and all of them here likes him. None of them are coerced into this. So it’s just his job to impregnate them and they’ll take care of the mom and baby. Win-win for everyone. As proof, Karen asks everyone to strip and they duly do so. Meanwhile the higher ups are pleased with Shouta’s progress. But since no results are shown on Mira’s side, they plan to remove her as Reito’s attendant.

Episode 5
Reito might be popular to many but to some like Rea Katagiri, she thinks he is a sleazebag for she saw him forcing himself on Maria Kuroda. Actually it was an accident whereby she bumped into him and she ran away because she has fear of men. Soon Reito is summoned by a couple UW directors. He is told that Mira will no longer be his attendant. Replacing her will be Rea and Maria. While Rea replaces Mira for his daily needs, Maria will be assisting him in his research. Reito wants an answer for Mira’s dismissal but they tell him if he likes her so much, just mate with her. This doesn’t help with Rea blaming Reito for not getting the results and hence Mira’s firing. While Mira and Rea are friends, the former doesn’t like it when the latter badmouths Reito. Though, Mira isn’t his attendant but she still follows him in his group. Now Reito’s group heads to Keimon City. While it is famed for its hotsprings, this is also where the MK Virus claimed its first victim. Reito talks to Maria about the possibility that it is manmade and she gets very talkative and excited about this theory. Now for some fanservice as all the girls join Reito in the hotspring and some having them wash his back. It got too much for him when Akane has him wash several of her parts. I guess he can’t go further down south… Reito is then brought to see Taniguchi who is the wife of the man of Japan’s first MK Virus victim. She refuses to tell them anything and has them leave. Later we see her talking to Erisa as she tells her that her lover is here.

For the next few days, Reito tries to talk to her but she is not opening up. One night, Sui sneaks Reito to the open air hotspring. Not sure how this is illegal but there are other female students coming in so he hides in the sauna. Then this American, Chloe comes in and threatens to scream if he leaves. WTF, does it matter? Reito plays by her rules. Whoever leaves the sauna first loses. She collapses first so he takes her somewhere to cool off. Again, she wants him to feed her water via his mouth or else she screams. He does so but at this time, Sui has brought some of the girls for help and they misinterpret this scene of Reito trying to mate with a stranger! Of course this was all an act by Chloe. Reito is now reduced to Taniguchi’s errand boy and she won’t accept anything that is not done by him. As he leaves to go do her errands, Taniguchi talks to Mira to find out more about Reito’s behaviour. Selfish guy in the good sense basically. That night, another one last talk with Reito about the girl he loves. Reito notes that he might do mating with others but in his heart there will always be a girl he loves. She has him come back tomorrow and maybe she’ll talk about her husband. Finally! Taniguchi remembers talking to Erisa about losing her boyfriend but she can accept the fact if he falls for another girl, he will always be the only one she’ll love. It reminded her of her husband. When she is asleep, a shady nurse injects her and causes to go into coma. Before she loses consciousness, she left a note to give this picture of her and her husband to Reito.

Episode 6
Reito investigates the hospital where the epidemic started. Sorry folks, it’s not in Wuhan. HAHAHA!!! Akane then confronts Rea about Taniguchi being poisoned. She is trying to get Rea’s alibi on what she was doing that night and Rea claims she was writing her report. Meanwhile Hino is still on his f*cking roll but he realizes he is getting bored of it. So he gets permission to perhaps find one out on the streets and mate. Guess who is that lucky girl he fell for at first sight? Mahiru! Looks like not all women are straight. Rea’s sister seems to be on the verged to be raped by this lesbo when Rea knocks her out. Rea needs a favour from her. On second thought, maybe both sisters are into incest… Results show that the picture of Taniguchi has nothing special. But in the toilet when Reito uses a special scan, some load of data of the MK Virus pops up. Oh sh*t. This could be a clue! But because some data are corrupted, he cannot get a clear picture. Unsure who to trust, he asks Maria about the slow vaccine development. She too is frustrated that not enough research is given and most resources are focused elsewhere like food. Even more so, there’s no data on vaccine and the Japanese counterparts are not even given any access. All the top medical professions are in US and so are those top directors of UW. Neneko seeks Reito’s help because of Hino’s request to mate with Mahiru. Of course Mahiru declines and as per rules, mating without consent is not allowed. What’s that word… Ah, rape! So they want Reito to go talk to Hino because he might have a better chance of giving up? Too bad Hino even gets more persistent and hopes Reito would just set them up. Okay, okay. We’ll see how it goes.

Those UW directors discuss about the small skirmish the refugees have with the security. They realize that there are growing sentiments all over the world and UW is losing its popularity. Rea then suggests using Reito to hand out food rations to appease them and the directors agree since he is quite popular. Akane and Maria sexily ambush Reito in the bath because this is the only way they can talk to him as he is very closely monitored. They warn him about doing investigations on his own because this will get him killed. Also, many talented medical professions have gone missing and it is unsure if they are alive or not (could Erisa be one of them?). Akane also reveals that one of Japan branch’s UW directors is Kihara, who is her mom. We see Rea trying to seduce Mira but I guess Mira doesn’t swing that way. Rea vows to make her forget that guy. Reito gives out rations to a long queue of livid fans. Of course there are some women who aren’t pleased with this and believe this is just UW’s tactic to shut them up. A sniper is about to snipe at Reito but luckily Rea’s sister takes her out. Sadly, she didn’t make it but it seems this sniper is not found in any database. Rea’s sister thinks Rea is in love with Reito to go this far for him. She assures she hates that guy and is only doing so because if his die, a certain someone she loves will be sad. Hino trying to impress Mahiru but she’s not f*cking interested and leaves. You’re rejected, dude. So I guess more wild f*cking with his own harem? What’s this unsatisfied feeling… Akane and Maria show Reito their secret computer room that uses some old underground internet connection that is undetectable by the world. Yeah… They warn him not to trust Rea or UW directors since they’re only interested in controlling this country. As they scour the internet for clues, Maria is shocked to see names of her friends on the list of this Keimon’s central hospital. She thought all of them were in US as they are top medical professions in the field. It’s like they’ve all gone missing in an abandoned hospital. Reito believes this hospital might be where MK Virus was first developed.

Episode 7
Tonight’s the last night Natsu will be with Shouta. Wanna have last sex? Sorry girl, not in the mood. Bummer. Next day, Karen holds a draw to assign Shouta’s next roommate. That lucky girl is Rikka Yanagi. While Rikka gets aggressive and wants to do it right now, Shouta is having some traumatic fears. Because these kind of girls were the girls of his bullies. He runs away to the teacher’s room for his safe space. Also coming to sit with him is Shunka. She knows his bruises and that he is a bully victim. Then she strips her top. This is to show she too has some bruises. Yup. Another bully victim. Both connect with each other and what do you know? They start making out! I bet this ‘magic’ is going to make the pain go away!!! When they return, Rikka again wants to f*ck Shouta. This has Shunka enter a b*tch showdown with her. Poor Shouta panics and runs away. As he sits outside, Akira comes to sit with him. He cannot take his eyes of her bust. Since she is still sorry for that incident, she lets him touch her boobs. In that moment of madness, Shouta enjoys fondling those marshmallow tits! He comes to realize this inner monster and runs away. Next day, he sees Akira cleaning the gym. This time, she gets aggressive as she ties him up and rapes him! When that is done, she can’t stop apologizing. She just had post nut clarity, HUH???!!!

Next day, Karen announces every day there will be girls assigned to Shouta to take care of his daily needs. This is to increase the turnover rate since the roommate thingy is for a week. Rikka gets chosen first so again she gets aggressive to kiss him. Shouta breaks free and trips, scraping his hand. This causes Karen to panic as she sends him to the infirmary for check-up. He is a national treasure, remember! Even taking a full body scan! Yeah, I hope that certain body part isn’t broken. Once he is given a clean bill of health, Karen has Natsu, Shunka and Akira help ‘heal’ him further. Before you know it, it’s a mad orgy in the infirmary! Everyone using their ‘magic’ to heal him! Damn, how he satisfy 3 girls in the end?! Later Shouta catches Chifuyu trying to make a potion to make him fall in love with her! She too tries to get lucky with him. So he asks what she likes about him. She straight answers his face. So funny that he laughs. Chifuyu gets embarrassed and even more so when he hopes she will mature a bit more before they mate. The one who claims to be the most mature is the most immature, right? Turning point when Karen tells Shouta that Yuzuki has transferred away and won’t return for a few years. This makes Shouta seething with anger. Now that he has lost his hope, Shouta becomes aggressive in making out with girls. He just doesn’t care. He kisses them as and when he likes and f*cks them in bed. So is he blaming the school for making him mad? I mean, eh can have any girl he wants. One day, Karen introduces a new transfer student: Shion Hoshino. That shock on Shouta’s face…

Episode 8
Shion was Shouta’s classmate and quite a popular girl. When he was getting his usual beat down by the bullies, Shion and her friends came into the area to have lunch. Her friends wanted to leave but Shion acted like nothing and sat down and just ate while the bullying continued. Now it looks like she needs his help but he isn’t going to help her easily. Shion tries to get info from the other girls but they keep their distance. Not going to increase the rivalry for his dick, right?! Karen then explains to Shouta that Shion wanted to be an entertainer but it is very hard for her to break through in this time and age (you do realize she is in her early 20’s, right?). Hence if she is part of his harem, the UW directors may reconsider. It may be that she is just using him as a stepping stone but Karen suggests he gives her a chance. So she is forced to come to school in her undies. Then as reward, he makes out with her on the rooftop with other girls watching. Just like old times, eh? She is forced to follow his whims if she wants to achieve her goals. After this, Shouta has another person whom he wants so he requests Karen to get her. After a detour of seeing Shouta take Akira’s physical measurements (oh my, everything about he is big!), Karen takes her to the toilet where Erika is chained up like a slave. She is Shouta’s bully’s girlfriend. Of course he proceeds to bully and torture her. She threatens to kill herself if he is going to rape her but he isn’t even thinking of wanting to rape her. He is just going to humiliate her and get even. Way even… Shouta is the king of this school as he boldly makes out in class. Karen decides to spice things up since the other girls aren’t really being aggressive this time and hints a lifetime hierarchy in Shouta’s books. Then we have this pool lesson whereby Natsu and Akira cooperate to cut Shouta’s trunks and then let him fit inside in Akira’s swimsuit. Fun, right? The other girls take turn being aggressive to get Shouta’s attention and he doesn’t mind as long as he could f*ck them. The dream is real, even if it’s all fake. Shouta even moves on to mate with girls from other class. One of them, well, Erika is chained along the side. Don’t mind her. She’s just a pet. He makes out with the girl and lets Erika watch. Later that night, he notices Erika panting. He knows she is addicted to some drug and was picked off from the slums. He teases that desperate slut to get it from his mouth. Meanwhile Reito and his aides head off to the hospital where the researchers disappeared and believes Erisa might be there.

Episode 9
The Japanese UW directors get word that a messenger from UW’s peacekeeping bureau, Mansfield will be visiting Japan. They think it is to search for the local terrorist organization, Izanami but why would they send a messenger for that? They think they have the upper hand as they have other male specimens in their possession. When they go meet her, it seems she is not Mansfield but her assistant, Pope. The real Mansfield is already somewhere in Japan. When Shouta tries to pick Hikaru Sakaki for today’s mating, she gives excuse that she is having her period. Later we see her communicating with Erisa and they are putting forth their plan. So we see more debauchery from Shouta as he lives out his paradise, doing whatever he pleases with the girls. Karen catches Shion for trying to escape as the latter finds this whole thing a crazy concept to conceive babies. Reito and his side investigate the hospital. They find a ventilation hole enough to fit through. It leads them to a secret underground lab. They got busted. A Japanese UW director and his researchers are going to kill them as they have seen this place. However they are killed off by guards from the peacekeeping bureau. One of them being Chloe. Yes, this is Chloe Mansfield and from UW World HQ of the peacekeeping division. Ever since Japan made Reito’s announcement public, she began infiltrating as an exchange student to investigate what is going on in Japan. With the whole building laced with explosives, they have to escape via helicopter. Meanwhile Pope tells those Japanese UW directors that she knows they have more than 1 man who is MK Virus resistant. They summon the guards to arrest her but the joke is on them as the guards arrest them instead. Hey, they work for UW and not them personally. Of course the traitor among them is Shutou and she has been feeding info back to UW. Chloe explains that this hospital is where MK Virus might have originated and they blew it up to cover their tracks. Ever since Reito’s announcement, terrorism activities around the world have also increased due to the increasing wealth gap. Then she shows a picture of Erisa and claims she is part of the terrorist group. A worried Reito wonders what happened to her. As Shouta returns to his room, an explosion rocks his school. It is reported that terrorists have kidnapped him! Fun’s over?

Episode 10
Shouta wakes up in hospital and Karen is so glad there are no serious injuries. Yeah, especially his dick, right?! The most important body part! Anyway, she tells him about the failed plot by the terrorists to kidnap him. Then she also reveals to him that there are 4 other men besides him and some aren’t awakened yet. That shock on his face. Yup, must realized that his monopoly days are over. With everything in a mess, she wants him to come to Tokyo with her where Japan’s UW head office is. She reveals her goal is to become the top woman of the world and she knows their interests aligned. Of course if he wants to mate with her, she will be so happy to offer herself. Shouta agrees to work with her. Hikaru is spying on them and contacts Erisa on this. She’ll be returning to them soon. Yeah, we see Erisa and the other group members, f*ck, are they like KKK cultists?! Anyway, they are happy they have stolen a chamber that contains the fourth man. They are going to awaken this servant of theirs. Chloe explains to Reito that the terrorists took advantage of the chaos in Japan to simultaneously attack the labs and that’s why one of the chambers got stolen. Had Japan’s UW report to them about other men, swift action could’ve been taken. She confirms that Erisa is one of the leaders of Izanami. Later Chloe reports the situation to her UW bosses. Some details include Hino has somewhat stopped mating and they think he’s found someone he loves. They sound shady as hell because Chloe looks like she has this hidden agenda to realize her own utopia. Chloe then sees Hino and asks about his usual attendant not being with him. She cannot accept any girls he chose for himself and everything must go through HQ. This doesn’t sit well with him. Reito realizes the pendant’s signal now shows up at Niigata. Akane then talks to him about how she cannot trust Chloe. She talks about her mom who is hardworking and all but cannot be the ones responsible in releasing this virus. Some sob back story as she mentions mom didn’t even turn up to her younger brother’s funeral as she prioritized work over her family. Because now she is facing charges of manufacturing the virus.

Suddenly Izanami hijacks the broadcast all over Japan. Erisa makes an announcement that they are not terrorists and that everyone has been deceived by UW. She shows proof by showing the awakened fourth man, Zen Kinebuchi. This shows UW is keeping other men’s existence a secret. Another damning proof is the satellite remains they found in an abandoned factory. High concentration of MK Virus is found there and the then president of that company is now one of the UW leaders. It means the current leadership of UW is the one who spread MK Virus around the world. Phew. And we all thought it was going to be China’s fault, HUH???!!! Another damning revelation: UW’s true goal is to eliminate all men and create a utopian world for only women! Now I understand why UW is named so. There are huge resources and development in America in creating female using only female genes. Shady snippets show Mira could be a clone of Erisa! Erisa’s demand is for all women to rise up against UW and for all men in their custody to be handed over to them. A world without men is totally wrong! True equality! The broadcast is then cut off as UW has taken back control. As usual, they say don’t believe the lies of terrorists, blah, blah, blah. Reito confronts Chloe about this and she tells him if they wanted all men dead, they would’ve killed them when they first arrived. Chloe then reports to her bosses and it sees they managed to control the feed and no one outside Japan saw the hijacked broadcast. They have also brainwashed their staffs and other leadership roles so the next phase is on. With Sui’s help, Akane manages to break into the detention centre to talk to her mom on some things. When she returns to Reito, she suggests all of them leave this place. After all, he wants to go see his lover, right? But with Reito hesitating, she thinks Chloe has some influence over him. As they enter a room, Shouta introduces himself. Woah! New looks! Looking pretty confident now, eh?

Episode 11
Shouta was put into some anti-aging machine that will maintain his youth for 30 years and that’s why he looks different. Meeting with Reito, they ask about Chloe but all Reito can say is that he doesn’t trust her. Maria is also reunited with Chifuyu who is her little sister. Reito then talks to Mira and wants her to escape with him and the rest tonight. However she cannot. Unless he mates with her. He thinks UW is important to her despite she knows he will reject her. Then she breaks down as she mentions that she too actually wanted to leave. But she just can’t. Short snippets of her being brainwashed since her existence about Reito whom she will serve. Suddenly UW agents barge in. Pope is here to take them back to US. Along the way, they are ambushed by Akane and Sui. Pope holds Mira hostage but she is taken out by Rea. Shouta and Karen see Chloe and hope to make a deal. One of Karen’s request is to meet the 3 sages who supposedly rule behind the scenes of UW. They are all from different backgrounds with the only similarities being their intelligence and hatred for men. Chloe says if Shouta is willing to cooperate, she’ll have that chance. Also, because Chloe is now Kihara’s replacement and sitting on the top director seat of Japan’s UW branch, Karen requests she wants that seat. Rea brings Reito and co to a hiding place where Mahiru and other refugees are hiding. They will leave this place by night. Since we haven’t have any sex scenes this episode, here, have some with a neo Shouta f*cking his usual harem. A new man, new greatness? Then he meets Karen to see if there is any update. Chloe is still thinking about it while Reito has fled. Reito and co are to board a ship away from Japan. Only Rea and Mira will not follow. Reito says goodbye to Mira but promises to be back. Rea also promises to find someone to take care of Ryuu. The ship departs and the one who will be helping them get to Taiwan is Hikaru. Reito will meet Erisa there since it is too dangerous for her to stay in Japan. Reito then gets a special call from Hino. Yeah, just use the underground internet and UW can’t trace! He calls Reito brave because now he is locked up and unable to mate. Of course he won’t escape like Reito. He can’t leave behind his expecting wives and will stay to protect them. Chloe tortures Pope for her failure. She also sends Rea and Mira to prison while relishing the next phase to eliminate all men is at hand. Karen shows Shouta a few girls he can pick to mate next. This is one of the deals she made to Chloe because since UW came to Japan, all mating are off except for Shouta. He’s not going to waste this god given chance. Reito and Erisa finally meet in Taiwan. They’re happy to see each other and vow to find a cure for MK Virus.

Go Forth & Multiply!
This is how it ends? It feels a bit rushed, like as though they needed to give Reito some good news and somewhat a happy ending. After all this time trying to find Erisa, and now he meets up with her like this that easily? With things are heating up and turning in another direction (has anyone already forgotten about that photo Tachibana gave Reito? Red herring?), it remains to be seen what will happen next. So will this get another season? Oh, I don’t know. Did Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi get one either? Yup. Exactly my thoughts. Because if the story goes on to become some sort of world war fight against the top echelons of UW and not much mating anymore, then I can see why it won’t be so interesting to make another season of it. Yeah, what’s the use of having a sequel when there’s no sex in it!!!

I don’t know if the fanservice has been numbing my mind because right now the plot of the story seems pretty generic. On the outside, it looks like a simple plot for (lucky) surviving guys to come out and mate with desperate girls in the guise of saving humanity. But of course there is always that sinister plot twist about the virus’ origins and the ulterior motives of the authorities. Sounds pretty okay if you ask me because otherwise it would be just another generic boring mild pseudo porn series, trying to watch these guys f*ck their girls. Heh. Had the entire series been just that and without the rebellion and truth and all, I think a lot of us would’ve just stopped watching and go directly to porn to get our fapping fix. Just saying. So yeah. Even if the so called twist is to be expected and somewhat predictable, at least it is better than having pseudo sex all the way through. After all, this isn’t exactly like those pseudo hentai animes out there.

One of the weird things I find about the plot is that I was given the impression that Reito is the main character. While he still technically is and this could be largely just my opinion, however a big chunk of this series focuses a lot on Shouta. Because of that, I find Shouta’s part to be a lot more interesting than Reito. I mean, look at Reito. This guy is trying to play the holy man by not f*cking with all the hot girls offered to him and saving his virginity for the only girl he loves. Wah. So noble. Too bad we’re not here for that goodie two shoes preaching! Instead, he goes on this BORING mission to find a cure for this virus and then stumbles into a web of conspiracy. BORING! Can we get some f*cking on this guy’s part?! No, of well then, looks like it’s up to you Shouta. Thus it feels like Shouta has more fleshing out of his own story and some of his girls compared to those on Reito’s side.

Of course, we have to talk about the fanservice and pseudo sex scenes here which are the main draw of the series. Well to be honest, I for one have watched so many ecchi and fanservice shows that this has somewhat become numbing to me at this point. I’m not saying that I was bored watching those mating scenes but it’s not like I felt the same sexual stimulation whatsoever. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Maybe aging and my libido has some sort of correlation with each other… Anyway, the kind of sex scenes are mostly what you can expect on the level of Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi. Only difference is that the women here don’t get raped and they engage in mostly consensual intercourse. Hence your excuse for such scenes and seeing their orgasmic faces.

There is one thing that actually bugs me, though. After a girl mates with the guy, it is often mission accomplished, right? Because the man would have impregnated her and there would be no more reason for her to be a slut for him. But as far as we can see in the cases of Shouta, his usual harem continues to stick with him even after he makes out with them. Of course I won’t deny the possibility of they loving him but it makes you somewhat forget about the true goal of this whole thing. Hence with Shouta’s harem keep coming back to him for more love making sessions, it feels like that these girls are horny sluts who just want to f*ck. Yeah. Straight out from a porn video. The more girls he f*cked, the less girls we should see hanging out in his school but it looks like the numbers remain constant. Lest you tell me that Shouta has been shooting blanks or his pull out game is very strong. Uh huh. Because another conspiracy theory of mine to support this is that if he is done f*cking all the girls in his school, ultimately he might not be of any value anymore. Although this is by a long shot because there are many other females outside of school who want to get his seed. Hence by not impregnating them so quickly, he will get to play out his desires for a longer time period. Because from what I understand, Yuzuki’s transfer is because she is pregnant. Assuming that is true, Shouta can’t just be a one time wonder, can he?

And of course at this point for an anime which has heavy ecchi and fanservice elements, there will always be the censored and uncensored version, right? Yes. For the record, I watched the censored version because my mind and imagination are still superior to you amateur porn peasants! HAHAHA!!! Anyway, I want to point out that if you watch the censored version, there is going to be this very blaring and obvious black streak. Like as though somebody ripped out that part of the screen or more accurately, somebody took a thick black permanent marker pen and started blackening out those areas. Fancy watching that ass shot and what pantsu they’re wearing? Or want to take a peek at their cleavage? Or when the girls just suddenly barge in and somehow their front is super exposed? Well, not a change! Here’s the holy black hole of censor for you! You know what to do if you really want to see those delicious parts. Of course you already know my case and thankfully the censorship here is not as bad as Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi level and that’s why I could tolerate and accept this unconstitutional violation of freedom of expression! Yeah…

As for the characters, well, what else can I say about them. Reito as the main character still manages to keep his head and mind clear and that is perhaps a good thing since who knows how far he’ll fall down the rabbit hole if he starts f*cking like a rabbit. In a way, it makes him a boring character too because he is on his way to get his sainthood, the way he wants to uncover the truth behind it all. Shouta like I’ve said, he sounds more interesting because we see him from being a bully victim into 50 Shades Of Grey kind of master. It feels he has more character built than Reito. Then there is Hino who just feels negligible. I think many of us will fall under this guy’s category of happily f*cking whoever he wants until he is bored. Other than that, there’s nothing really more to this guy we can say at this moment. But at least the only thing we can say credible about him is that he is staying back to protect the girls he mated with. It is safe to say that guys aren’t just crazy sex maniacs who wants to have fun f*cking any vagina they can find. Hard to believe but men too also want to treasure those they have sex with so in this context Hino isn’t such a sleazebag after all. Now with the fourth guy awakened, his harem is going to be a hell lot different class than the rest. Is it me o with these guys having their own harem, it’s like they can start some sort of battle tournament. I don’t know, maybe like Sekirei? Just saying.

As for the female characters, I don’t think they’re really that impressive either. Just to note a few like Chifuyu’s character feels like she is written to play to comic relief character. Akane feels like she has a sharp intuition but unfortunately circumstances didn’t really flesh out her character properly yet. There is more to meet the eyes on this Chloe character because don’t let those ungodly boobs blind and fool you. Uh huh. Those tits so big that it’s like she is a character who jumped out of a hentai video. Probably that’s her best weapon to distract you because the way you see her wrap around those boobs so tightly to give that delicious illusion of her boobs bursting out, yeah, be warned again don’t, be fooled. So it doesn’t matter if men or women helm the top leadership of the world, they’re all basically f*cked up. I also have this feeling that there is more than meets the eye for this Karen girl. She puts on a very lively and cheerful exterior and I can’t help feel that there is more to her agenda than being just the number one woman in the world. My guts and experience this kind of jovial and sunny disposition means you are hiding something terrifying. Friend or foe, I can’t really tell. Some like Shion and Erika, it makes me wonder why their appearance is necessary. Perhaps in the future they might have a role but for now it feels redundant and perhaps just to let Shouta get his revenge on them.

Last but not least, Erisa and Mira. Well, it looks like the latter is highly a possible clone of the former with all hints pointing to that but they could still shock us with something else. Oh you know, maybe Mira came from the future and is the daughter of Reito and Erisa!!! Holy sh*t! Time travelling crap now?! Isn’t Mira taken from mirai which means future?! I hope this won’t come true. Anyway, Mira’s presence feels insignificant and even more so when she has been taken off as Reito’s attendant. Like as though she would serve as some sort of plot twist later when they meet up with Erisa. So my other dumb conspiracy theory of why Mira won’t go with Reito is because if she sees Erisa, she might disappear because of that time paradox thing. It’ll be more plausible to think that she and Rea stayed back to become internal moles in UW but with Chloe in the way, most probably they have something else in mind.

While there are some dumb moments that don’t make sense, the one that really takes the cake is the old secret underground internet. Uh huh. This feels like the lamest excuse so that our heroes and rebels can connect and communicate with each other without having UW to actually trace them! There it is, we can talk without even worrying those b*tches are eavesdropping on what we’re doing! This is so f*cking unbelievable! Imagine a different set of internet that the biggest organization in the world right now can’t even tap into?! Like, are you sure this is happening?! Or am I missing something here?! Are there actually men who are secretly alive and living in burrows like hobbits who are maintaining this network and keeping it up and running?! And here I thought if they used the ancient way of writing letters, they are more likely not to get caught instead of connecting to the internet. Sheesh. Yeah, who am I kidding? Who writes letter in this modern day and age!

Art and animation are pretty standard and jointly produced by Studio Gokumi and AXsiZ who have produced a few animes together like Koukaku No Pandora, Tonari No Kyuuketsuki-san, Seiren and Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-san. Nothing much I can say here as the characters look pretty standard and of course bishoujo looks because who would want to mate with fat ugly b*tches, right?! Yeah, it’s an amazing that Japan still got a lot of hot anime girls and some with big hentai tits. Don’t worry, we even have flat chest lolis like Sui for those with lolicon fetish. Other than that it’s just pretty standard and nothing a masterpiece even for those sexy scenes. Hey, I watched the censored version so how can I tell those ass and tits look in real time?! Also, didn’t notice any 3D or CGI so I guess that’s really good news? Don’t want those sex scenes to look f*cking weird, do they?

Voice acting I only recognized Ayana Taketatsu as Karen and is that Yu Kobayashi as one of those mad Japan branch UW directors? Yes it is. Wow, it’s been quite a while since I have heard from her. Now, one of the funny thing is that I cannot find exactly who voiced Erisa. Her name is not even in the end credits of each episode. Even more so, when I try to Google it, there is no info on this. Hence I making a great speculation that Erisa and Mira are voiced by the same person, Haruka Shiraishi (Asirpa in Golden Kamuy). It is unfortunate that I am not really familiar with her voice so I cannot spot this. But it really feels weird that her name isn’t in the credits so as to cover up some twist?

The other casts are Taichi Ichikawa as Reito (Bam in Tower Of God), Kazuki Ura as Shouta (Subaru in Shadowverse Flame), Takuya Eguchi as Hino (Hikigaya in Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru), You Taichi as Akane (Anzu in Prison School), Yurie Kozakai as Maria (Pekola in Jashin-chan Dropkick), Rumi Okubo as Chloe, Arisa Aihara as Natsu (Irohani in Usakame), Riho Ida as Akira (Rin in Love Live! School Idol Project), Aya Yamane as Sui (Ruhuyu in Show By Rock! Mashumairesh), Haruka Michii as Shunka (Saki in Seven Days War), Natsumi Takamori as Chifuyu (Raiha in Go-toubun No Hanayome), Marika Hayase as Yuzuki (Lulu in Death March Kara Hajimaru Isekai Kyousoukyoku), Reina Ueda as Shion (Dia in Sekai Saikou No Ansatsusha), Yukina Shutou as Mahiru (Orphia in Seirei Gensouki) and Keiko Watanabe as Rea (Anna in Saihate No Paladin). The opening theme is Just Do It by H-el-ical and so sorry it has nothing to do with Nike but this song sounds plain and not really my cup of tea. The same can be said for the rock ending piece, Ending Mirage by Exina.

Overall, this show is definitely going to have a lot of divided opinions. Many on the onset would judge this is some sleazy trash trying to take advantage using sex as its selling point while also demeaning woman and making them look like sex objects. Yeah, how the f*ck is making a utopian world for only lesbians empowering women? Hence you would have to really have a broad open mind to not look at that narrow kind of point of view since this series is blurring the lines of sex as a means of procreation and/or recreation. This is one of those animes that if you like a lot of fanservice, then this anime is for so you might want to pay extra few cents for the director’s cut to remove the censors and perhaps additional footage (if there is one!). Otherwise, this whole thing may come off as weird even more so as its coincidental timing with a certain C-word virus! Imagine how different everything would be if this actually was an erotic comedy rather than some dark serious dramatic sci-fi enhanced with some sex scenes. Hey, it could’ve been worse. Imagine the reverse with the world filled with men as the majority of women are killed off! Rape horror? Even worse… GAY FEST TIME, MY GAY BOIS!!!

Variable Geo

27 May, 2022

Before there was Queen’s Blade, various strange females in various strange cosplay outfits fighting each other in some tournament for some ultimate prize, there was Variable Geo back in 1996. Uh huh. As if Street Fighter II wasn’t sexy enough, then came this anime about a tournament in which the search for the strongest woman in Japan is held. Winners get a cool 10 billion yen cash prize but the loser… They get publically stripped and then proceed to self-masturbate or even get raped (publically or privately)! Holy sh*t! And we all know there is going to be only 1 winner and hundreds of losers. This means hundreds of demeaning public sex acts! Ah well, this was before internet porn became easily accessible. Either way, the f*cking male audiences watching with glee are the winners.

Episode 1
Yuka Takeuchi is late for her waitress job. She’s going to be even late as she has to face off with fellow VG Warrior, Jun Kubota. WTF?! A ring popping up right in the busy intersection of Tokyo?! Oh yeah. You bet this is going to be a show stopper. So much so even the PM himself stops whatever he is doing to watch this! First we see Yuka getting owned by Jun. Going to lose, huh? But don’t worry. Her childhood friend, Satomi Yajima reminds her about her promise and hence Yuka powers up and defeats Jun. So easy. Jun admits defeat but also had fun fighting her. She then proceeds to strip and parade herself to the crowd. I’m sure this is what the audience is waiting for, no? Yuka is displeased, especially a pervy old man enjoying ogling at Jun’s nice body. Yeah, so many nice bodies out there to enjoy. He hints Yuka has potential to have a better body now but he still likes her the way she is. Meanwhile Reimi Jahana watches Kaori Yanase defeat her opponent. Her opponent gets scared and tries to run away but the guards put her to sleep and make her, uhm, sleep-masturbate?! Damien then reports to Reimi about a new potential candidate that is strong enough to surpass her. However she refuses to accept last minute participants as per the rules. He gets slapped when he persists as she reminds him that all VG Warriors must enter by their own will or they have no chance to defeat her. Besides, it is not his job to scout for VG Warriors. As Yuka and Satomi visit the latter’s brother in hospital, suddenly Daisuke is having seizures. Although his condition soon stabilizes, Satomi goes home and in a pinch. The doctor told her a surgery may save his life but it costs a substantial amount of money. Satomi is not that rich… Oh, what will a poor girl like her do? Knocking on her door is Damien… You know where this is going, right? Soon we see Satomi in her first fight against Ayako Yuuki. The latter being cheeky and looking down on this rookie. But suddenly when pushed to the edge, WTF Satomi unleashes some fireball move?! Hadouken?! Ayako is defeated. Satomi goes back to Damien who will now give her a physical exam after obtaining her data. As Jun gives Yuka a ride, she passes by Reimi driving her car. WTF as Jun passes her car, Yuka feels some chill down her spine. She jumps off and attacks Reimi!!! WTF???!!!

Episode 2
Flashback shows Damien told Satomi how she was an undefeatable champion in many martial arts tournament until Yuka came along. Then she started losing. If not for Yuka, she would still be the champion. He is giving her the chance to defeat Yuka in this VG tournament. When Yuka visits Satomi, she finds a farewell note. Written in her blood?! She tells this to Jun and worst case scenario is that she might have gone to participate in the tournament. But for now, Yuka gets info that her next opponent is in Osaka. As Reimi conducts a meeting with various executives who report the success of the tournament, this conversation is bugged by Chiho Masuda. She’s supposed to learn some power left behind by Miranda (Reimi’s mom) but it is still shrouded in mystery even after her death. Soon she is busted and makes a run for it. She finds herself at the rooftop and sees Reimi making out with her male secretary, Washio. Sex, interrupted. They fight and obviously Reimi is superior. But because Chiho doesn’t give up, this brings back traumatic memories of mom’s harsh training on her. This distraction allows Chiho to escape. But WTF Satomi is before her and they fight in a tournament. She has time for this? Obviously, Satomi is somewhat hypnotized and enhanced and defeats her. Chiho is then taken for interrogation.

Yuka and Jun arrive in Tokyo and are guided by petite Manami Kusunoki who will lead them to Yuka’s next fight. However they’re just hanging about eating and drinking. Until Erina Goldsmith and her bunny girls arrive. She will be Yuka’s next opponent. You know the drill. As expected, Yuka wins because Erina’s moves are selfish and she trusts no one. To prove it, Yuka absorbs her attack and uses it against her. How’s that trust for you? Erina cannot accept defeat yet but looks like visions of grandma tells her it is okay. She doesn’t need Erina to win the money to bring her to America. Yeah. Your excuse for Erina to admit defeat. Then she learns Yuka wasn’t supposed to be her opponent but Manami! She’s the strongest in Osaka so you bet that little one doesn’t want to fight her. Oh well, a loss is a loss. Erina and her bunny girls happily strip naked! Free show! Meanwhile Reimi and Washio discuss about some independent division led by Miranda. Even as the new head of her group, she still is in the dark of what it does. When Yuka and co return home to her dojo, they are shocked to see many defeated men. Who the f*ck this discount Fei Long?! Obviously he wants to fight Yuka and make her unleash her power. Unfortunately Yuka gets a beat down but luck for her, the pervy old man saves her. Also, time is up for that crazy Bruce Lee as he goes berserk. If not for her nurse injecting some serum to calm him down and bring him away, I think he might have exploded. Oh, this dude is Damien?! Yeah, we saw him eat some pill. He started screaming so I thought he was going to turn into Akuma!

Episode 3
Flashback shows despite Reimi was subservient to mom, she still had to undergo some painful experiment. F*ck, this looks more like a cult?! Yuka talking to that old man when she fought him, she felt nothing. It’s strange because she always felt something in battles and that’s her reason for fighting. He poses a cryptic message that if you win something, you also lose something, vice versa. Unsure of what he means, he poses another question if a sick girl challenges her to a fight and will die doing so, will Yuka give her a free pass or defeat her? Don’t know? Well, it’s up to her to find out and interpret it with her own heart. They go visit Daisuke who then tells them about Satomi’s wish to beat Yuka once. Somehow Yuka understands what he means and knows what to do next. As Kaori goes over the data, Damien wants her to fight Satomi. Don’t worry, this counts as an unofficial match. Of course with Satomi having antennas and producing ungodly powers, Kaori is defeated. While the data on Satomi is excellent enough for her body to become Miranda’s vessel, Damien throws caution to not count their chickens yet. WTF Reimi crashes in with her car and disapproves of what Damien is doing. I guess you know what’s going to happen next. Reimi vs Satomi. At first the former is superior but realizes the latter suddenly absorbing all her energy and returning it back. In the end, not sure if that childhood experiment thingy activated because Reimi is bound by her own vines and for the first time tastes defeat. Satomi is then examined again but this time all her stats are much lower. This has Damien think that he might be wrong in picking Satomi as the vessel. Oh look, Yuka and co at the doorstep. Time to go greet them. But a hypnotized Chiho is stalling them so Jun and Manami fight her to allow Yuka to proceed.

Inside, Yuka faces off with Damien. Don’t remember who? Taking several pills now and transforming, now do you remember? It seems Damien is getting very desperate for Yuka to use her power as there is not much time left. Short flashback shows Damien volunteered to use his own body but of course the side effects were terrible. Yuka felt nothing from this fight but after she closes her eyes and be all zen, now she’s kicking Damien’s ass. But time’s up. Damien goes berserk and not even the serum can calm him down. He starts killing some of his staff and before he could do the same on his nurse, Yuka jumps in with some purifying blast. Not sure about him remembering his old memories but I guess he is free now. Thanks and bye. Yuka proceeds to the main room to see Satomi hooked up to a machine. But she can tell it isn’t her but Miranda possessing her body. Miranda wants Yuka’s body. Do it and she’ll spare Satomi’s body. She is about to do that but Kaori saves her. From the data, she tells her how to defeat Miranda. Remember her fight with Jun? Remember how Satomi’s voice helped her return from the brink of defeat? Yes. Use that energy! And so with Yuka calling out to Satomi, Satomi resists and purges Miranda from her body. Both friends are back as they combine their Hadouken to finish off Miranda. Washio saves Reimi from some tube. As parting present, she destroys the machine believed to be housing her mom. A researcher tries to escape with some stone thingy but the old man kills him off. The whole lab is destroyed. All our female characters are safe outside. Except for Yuka and Satomi. They’re atop the building and want to settle this. Yeah. Final round, fight!

Immoral Combat: Finish Her! Sex-tality!!!
Oh… So this is how it ends? Well, I expected something of this sort so I can’t really complain. After all, there are only 3 episodes and that is of course not enough to even flesh anything else out. Oh heck, I’m just going to complain anyway. WTF THIS ENDING???!!! It feels so rushed and somewhat incomplete but I guess that is okay since Yuka has got her friend back and now they are going to settle their unsettled score once and for all because you know, that promise. And so as not to cause a riot between Yuka fans and Satomi fans, hence that’s why it ends there and it is up to you to decide who is going to win. Well, as long as they got their tits and nice bodies exposed in the end, I’m fine whoever the winner is! HAHAHAHA!!! Oops… And hey, what the f*ck happened to the tournament?! Is it still on?! Horny guys want to watch more women strip, you know.

It feels like this OVA is just something extra for the fans of the game because as you can see there are quite a few characters here and the story itself feels like it could’ve been better, something left more to be desired. My guess is that if you really want to know deeper about the lore of this series as well as its characters, might as well play the game and its various and numerous sequels. Hence for casual viewers who hop into watching this series without any prior knowledge whatsoever, you’ll be left confused with some of the stuffs seen here. For instance about the research lab in reviving Miranda, it came so fast and furious that it leaves you in stitches wondering if this is what the real and entire VG tournament is all about. Then who the f*ck is that old man? He looks like some sort of shaman and protector of the tournament but that is just me speculating. Even Damien’s true form, before his death he revealed his real name which sounds like some Buddhist type. All this feel like it don’t really matter if you are not too deep into the series and can leave your head scratching. And what happened to that clash between Yuka and Reimi at the end of the first episode? Was that just a dream? Like as though it never happened when the next episode arrived. Not sure if that is some sort of Easter egg but it left me really confused and going WTF.

So the characters here are just barely scratching the surface. Nothing really deep so I guess they just want to showcase their appearance and make fans happy. From what I read, there are a few other characters that didn’t show up so very sorry if you’re fans of that character. After all, Yuka reeks all the main character vibes from start to finish. Then you have the best friend of the main character for the sake of friendship factor. You know, friends like these have to fight each other to settle their differences to take their friendship to the next level. Such a convenient mini plot convenience. The rest feels like barely there like Jun who is your typical enemy turned ally while Manami is just there to show Yuka has some allies. Erina and Ayako are just there as fight casualties. Yeah, even they reign in Chiho just for somebody the heroines can fight against with. At first I wasn’t sure about the deal between Kaori and Reimi but I found out they were sub-boss and the final boss respectively for the first game.

Reimi sounds like she is the antagonist but she’s not because she has mommy issues. Yup, Miranda being one of the worst mothers ever and it wasn’t really explained well why she tortured her daughter just to make her the strongest. Not sure if the real tournament is about finding the true vessel for Miranda so she can return and live forever. I may be wrong on this but my guts tell me it is very likely either. After all, why organize a tournament to find the strongest woman only? We all know that generally men are stronger in terms of physical strength, right? It’s not like they really care about gender equality and women empowerment, right? It’s not like the VG Warriors use specifically tailored items that only women can use, right? So that’s why the tournament is just an excuse to see who will become the strongest woman so that the dead b*tch witch Miranda can finally usurp and take over the body.

I’ve never played the game before but seeing the action sequences here, well, they’re just barely. Mostly fast, furious and flashy. But of course the real deal why many would watch this series or even play the game is of course the sexy babes, right? However if you’re going to expect a lot of fanservice here in just 3 episodes, you’re going to be disappointed. In fact, the fanservice here is watered down so much, you wonder if it is an insult to the series. Uh huh. You’re here to see panty flashing kicks and losers getting sexually assaulted but everything we see here feels very tame and minimal. Sure, a handful of scenes showing actual bare tits of the ladies but that is as much as you can get. But, if you really want to see more, there is a sequel back in 2004. From what I read, this actually crosses the line and is hentai. Yes. No wonder it was hard for me to find it anywhere on the web unless you really start searching and venture through the dark realm.

Art and animation are of course very retro style and it is that moment when I had to laugh and at the same time feeling so old because when I see Kaori’s computer and data analysing software. Uh huh. Get what I mean? During that era, perhaps all those lines and charts might have looked impressive and high-tech but when you see it from this current modern time, it really feels so dated. Ironically, this being a tournament of hot female fighters, none of them are wearing skimpy or revealing outfits (Erina’s playboy outfit is considered child’s play). Yeah, fighting game logic dictates that female fires dress so and distract you horny boys from focusing. Which actually works sometimes. But of course, my theory is that if they’re going to dress so skimpy, it’s like they might have this losing mentality. We all know what happens to the losers, right? So if you’re dressed quite revealing and you lose, it doesn’t make a difference in that sense. Might as well cover up first and if they lose, thrill the audience by taking the clothes off! Yeah, we the audience will love it anyway.

On a trivial note, it is also once again that strange feeling as I hear Ikue Ohtani as the voice of Manami. Who is she? Well, she is famously pigeonholed as the voice of Pokemon’s Pikachu and One Piece’s Chopper. Hence any other characters I hear her outside these 2 roles, it sure is going to feel absolutely strange. Not that I have anything against her in voicing other characters but you know, when you pigeonholed somebody so hard and only associate them with specific characters and nothing else, this is what you get.

In the end, this OVA feels more like providing a little fanservice to the fans of the game than fanservice of the sexy kind to horny otaku guys. It’s like a fighting version of strip poker and the cards in your hand are your special moves that deliver the finishing blow. Yeah. Overall it is mostly fast and flashy and although some parts are really WTF and confusing, it just sets out to deliver what it needs to. That is, some (debatably) cool fights among the hot combatant chicks and in the meantime throw a bit of bare tits and panty flashing moments. After all, there have been much worse bishoujo fighting games to come after this. You people heard of Battle Raper, right? And its sequel, Battle Raper 2?! I’ll leave you to Google that if you’re ever so interested to know what it’s about. So is all that money worth your modesty? It’s up to you to interpret that with your own heart!

Ganbare Douki-chan

25 March, 2022

Well, you know how mostly guys are not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to noticing signs and signals of a woman who likes him. Yeah, to us guys, all those signals are just confusing and overbearing! YOU EXPECT US TO READ YOUR MIND???!!! Anyway… Ganbare Douki-chan tells of something like that. An office colleague who has a huge crush on her colleague and trying to drop hints. Of course, he doesn’t really get it and making things worse are love rivals! Yeah. Make that flirty and busty love rivals! Oh yeah. Signs and signals that we guys are mostly naturally attracted to! Or maybe those clouded our judgment and confused us further. But hell yeah we sure love those tits and sexy ass! Whoops I mean, uhm, attractive feminine features?

Episode 1
Due to a mistake, Douki-chan and Douki-kun will be sharing the same room on a business trip. Douki-kun is willing to look to stay elsewhere but Douki-chan hints she doesn’t want to be alone. So it’s a separate bed as she warns him not to try anything funny or she’ll kill him. Socially, that is. Douki-kun bathes first as Douki-chan rests. It looks like when he gets out of the bath, he looks like he is going to touch her. Only to cover the blanket over her. Oh Douki-chan, your frustrated face… Then it’s her turn to take a shower and all. After that, she puts on her makeup and wears hot red lingerie. Then she goes to bed and says they have to get up tomorrow early but he body is hinting some sexy flirting. So hot that the programme Douki-kun is working on crashed!!! That’s not the disappointing part, though. Next morning, Douki-chan feels so disappointed that nothing happened last night! Hey, did you not remember the warning you gave him?! Plus, she was the one who arranged this room sharing thingy in the first place! On the flight, Douki-chan sleeps as she dreams of Douki-kun raping her. Ah… Douki-kun just covers her with his jacket.

Episode 2
Back at office, Douki-chan thinks back on that room sharing night. She was fully alert and was hoping he would make a move but he didn’t. Yeah, no wonder so sleepy, huh? This worries her as she thinks he doesn’t see her as a potential love interest. The duo get trapped in an elevator when it suddenly stops working. Although she gets scared, calm Douki-kun makes the necessary call for help. As they wait and time passes, Douki-chan starts to feel cold and uses this as an excuse to get close to him. WTF she is fantasizing of some elevator rape scene?! Time to wake up as the elevator starts moving again. When the door opens, Kouhai-chan is seen waiting and quickly grabs Douki-kun’s arms. Must be harrowing, huh? For Douki-chan it’s a different kind of harrowing now. Yeah, look at Kouhai-chan’s smug look back at her. B*tch fight when?

Episode 3
Douki-chan has made her Valentine chocolates. The question now is when to give him. She thinks she’ll do so after work. Don’t look now because Kouhai-chan just gave hers! And does she not learn? Because after work, Kouhai-chan invites Douki-kun out for dinner! Why the f*ck you procrastinate, Douki-chan?! Obviously, she spies them at the restaurant at the next table. She is getting riled up the way Kouhai-chan is trying to seduce her man. However Kouhai-chan isn’t stupid as she gives Douki-chan the slip by ordering food for her table. Now Douki-chan is stuck to eat this while they are gone. Douki-chan thinks this isn’t enough to get her drunk but oh well, it did. Now she’s fantasizing how Kouhai-chan is seducing with her boobs. Yup. Holding it in is bad!

Episode 4
Poor Douki-chan. Falling asleep and all drunk at the table. But wait. Douki-kun is here to pick her up. Just in time. The restaurant is closing. As he carries her all the way to the train station, we see 15 minutes prior as Douki-kun and Kouhai-chan are about to enter the train station, Douki-kun decides to go back, claiming he forgot something. Of course Kouhai-chan knows what he was going to retrieve. She puckering her mouth and notes how she’ll make him hers eventually. When Douki-chan wakes up, she is shocked to find herself sleeping on Douki-kun’s shoulder on the train. Then this stop she is supposed to get off but he gets off with her too because he can tell she forgot something. Well then. It’s all good timing as she gives him the chocolates.

Episode 5
Kouhai-chan dressed up as a sexy maid, ready to serve her master. I APPROVE! Apparently the girls in her department are wearing this for one of their colleague’s wedding. Of course Douki-chan is not impressed that he is looking at ‘dirty’ pictures while they work overtime. As Douki-chan works in office, he notices Douki-kun has not come in at all. Even after office hours, he still hasn’t come back. Just when she is about to leave, he returns. Damn, did the elevator doors crush her head?! Seems Douki-kun has White Day present for her. Nice moment ruined with Kouhai-chan pestering for one. Yup, he has one for her too. Douki-chan feeling so mad inside as her chocolate was obligatory. But she’s still happy with the cookie gift from him. Later she tries on a maid outfit herself. I APPROVE! Too bad her pet cat not impressed and doesn’t give a f*ck, leaving her all so embarrassed.

Episode 6
Douki-chan takes a selfie of herself as a maid. I APPROVE! Of course it is a joke and she won’t send it to Douki-kun. Until her stupid cat presses the send button! HOLY SH*T!!! The embarrassment has her decide to call in sick tomorrow. However, with Douki-chan not around, Kouhai-chan is now on the offensive, seducing Douki-kun and even inviting him to her home! Sexy time, yeow!!! Of course this is all a dream from Douki-chan. Hence she changes her mind to come back to work. As she is trying to avoid Douki-kun, oh look, he is at the door. Run away! When she manages to get her composure back, looks like Kouhai-chan is in full control over Douki-kun as they head to the next meeting. Yeah, Douki-chan ignored… Then we see Douki-chan embarrassingly trying to tell the truth about the picture. Yeah, excuses, excuses. Turns out she is just practising with the mirror. Ganbare… Of course she soon realizes the need to do something or else that girl will snatch Douki-kun away. She needs to change! When? Next week! Oh… I can see him going away further and further already…

Episode 7
Douki-chan sums up her courage to invite Douki-kun for dinner after their client meeting. She has something to tell him. He agrees. Looks like the plan to tell him how she feels and seduce him in her sexy lingerie is working. Yeah. We’re waiting to see that too! But looks like the client is a hot woman who is Douki-kun’s senior. What’s this about Senpai-san saying how she stayed at his place the last time???!!! After the meeting, Senpai-san wants to go out drinking with him but he declines because he already has a date with his colleague. Yes! But nope! Senpai-san still goes out drinking with him! DID HE NOT DECLINE?! Turns out that Senpai-san thought she knew Douki-chan before. Anyway, she wants to get to know her too and that’s how they ended up drinking together. Curses! This episode’s title was totally clickbait! WHERE IS THE COLLEAGUE WHO GOES ALL OUT WITH SEDUCTIVE LINGERIE???!!!

Episode 8
What’s worse than having Senpai-san drinking with them? Why, Kouhai-chan drinking with them too! Oh damn, see how long Douki-chan’s face!!! Kouhai-chan explains she saw them on her way back and just had to join in. Yeah, she sensed something ‘bad’ will happen. Looks like the b*tch rivalry has taken another level. Oh sh*t! That deadly confrontational aura! Dragon vs tiger! Where does the hamster fit in all of this?! Does she even have a chance?! Well, turns out Senpai-san and Kouhai-chan become good friends and as they revel in having another round, Douki-kun takes Douki-chan away. For real? In the alley, he apologizes it should’ve been 2 of them. But was there something she wanted to say to him? Well… She forgot. Okay. Tell me when you remember. Sighs. The greatest God given chance and she blows it… It’s not too late since she hints she doesn’t want to be left alone. Then as she is about to confess, suddenly the phone rings! Stupid interrupting cliché moment! Turns out Kouhai-chan left her handphone in the souvenir bag she gave Douki-chan. She called to find it. Just in time? Bad luck? Douki-kun gets ‘strangled’ by Senpai-san for trying to run away from her. Douki-chan in despair. Her frustrated scream says it all. Sighs… Sad…

Episode 9
Douki-chan grinning from ear to ear that she almost confessed to Douki-kun. Next scene shows Senpai-san trying to have sex with Douki-kun! Thank goodness it is just Douki-chan’s dream! Hopefully. She realizes she is in bed. Naked! Somebody next to her! Oh dear. Did they do it?! Turns out it is Kouhai-chan. Disappointed? Oh sh*t. Did anything lesbian happen between them? A text from Douki-kun says that after those round of drinks, Senpai-san dropped them at their homes. But because Kouhai-chan wanted to lie down quickly, she got down with Douki-chan. But why are they naked? Cheeky Kouhai-chan hints maybe… We see the real deal that happened. Douki-chan was having a bad hangover the moment she reached home. Kouhai-chan tried to give her some water to drink but she choked and spitted out the water all over. I guess they can’t sleep with their wet clothes on, eh? Kouhai-chan keeps this secret as she proceeds to make her lesbian move on Douki-chan… Is this her revenge?

Episode 10
Senpai-san gives Douki-kun a pair of complimentary tickets to a hotel pool. It’s going to expire soon and nobody else in the company wants to go. Douki-chan being aggressive to tell him to accept it and not waste her kindness! Oh yeah. Poolside date. So, fancy seeing Douki-chan in her swimsuit? Yeah. Douki-kun must be tongue tied. I’m sure he’ll be lost for words when he sees the bombshell Senpai-san! Holy sh*t! Badaboom! Wait. I take that back. Kouhai-chan atomic bombshell!!! Blown to smithereens! So why are they here? Well, Senpai-san needed more company and of course she invited Kouhai-chan because the more the merrier, right? Oh Douki-chan… So out of place… Later as she ‘sulks’, she wonders why Douki-kun didn’t even say anything. She bought this swimsuit just for this occasion, you know. Does he hate her in one? So she gives him the permission to look. And then she gets mad because he was just looking and not saying anything nice! Douki-kun, caught between a rock and a hard place… Later back home, Douki-kun texts her to compliment about her swimsuit. Douki-chan not impressed. Should’ve said it to her face. But nevertheless she still feels happy.

Episode 11
Oh wow. Kouhai-chan getting married to Douki-kun! You bet Douki-chan is frustrated! Of course it’s all just a dream as they are attending a colleague’s wedding. This means Douki-chan imagines herself being married to him while Kouhai-chan is the one left frustrated. When the bride throws her bouquet, Kouhai-chan crashes into Douki-chan. But it is the latter who grabs it. Because a small girl cries over it, Douki-chan gives it to her. But she’ll keep 1 petal for herself. Good luck charm? With drunk Kouhai-chan trying to bug Douki-kun, Douki-chan gets aggressive and has the guys in her department take away this annoying ‘idol’. When Douki-chan exits the toilet, her petal drops off. A couple of drunk guys want to hit on her and won’t let her get away. Is this a blessing or curse? Then Douki-kun thinks she is lost and sees the dropped petal. HOW THE F*CK DOES HE KNOW?!

Episode 12
Before an untoward drama can unfold, Douki-kun mans up and says this girl is his girlfriend and takes her away by the hand. The moment Douki-chan has been waiting for and should be proud of. But before she can make the big confession, they bump into Kouhai-chan. Damn, she still drunk? Because Douki-kun landed on top of her, she is shameless to blurt out that they should do it in her room! Thankfully, nothing happens. At the after party, Douki-chan laments everything has gone wrong for her. Need advice from Senpai-san that overcoming setbacks is the best part of romance? Well, better get used to it because Kouhai-chan pours more drink for her so as to start their after party performance. Eh? Douki-chan thought they already did that at the reception. So popular, everyone wants an encore! Yup, time to dress up as a maid and get up on stage and dance! Oh Douki-kun, if you don’t make Douki-chan your wife, YOU BETTER GIVE HER TO ME!!! Douki-chan feels so embarrassed, but remember, overcoming setbacks… Yeah… Another new die and Douki-chan is set on doing her best. Good luck. You’ll need every inch of it!

Episode 13 (Special)
BATH EPISODE!!! Yeah! Our main trio are in the bath together. Of course Douki-chan is feeling threatened since the other 2 has even better voluptuous body. She tries to leave but they won’t let her. Is the raping going to start now? Fortunately, she manages to escape. Hence Kouhai-chan and Senpai-san continue their lesbian play with each other… Too bad, that’s all we get to see as we return to all of them fully clothed and having dinner with Douki-kun. Senpai-san asks which of their swimsuit is the best. Douki-kun looking at Douki-chan’s way. Does it mean it’s hers?! Too bad this is interrupted as Kouhai-chan sends that sexy bombshell swimsuit pic of hers to him. Douki-chan does not approve of this and deletes this posting. Now it’s time to go home as Senpai-san and Kouhai-chan grab an arm each and head off with Douki-kun, leaving a confused Douki-chan behind. You snooze, you lose!

Doh! Uki! Dokidoki Dorky
Oh well, as long as you don’t give up, there is always a chance that one day you’ll land Douki-kun’s heart! One day. ONE DAY. Whether it might be next year on in 10 years’ time, as long as you persevere! Oh yeah. So don’t be disheartened, my little girl. It’s not the end and just the beginning. There’ll be more chances in the future for you to attempt. As long as you don’t, wait for it, give up! Ganbare! Douki-chan! We rooting for you! Hopefully.

If the art style feels very familiar, that’s because this series is illustrated by the same person who drew Miru Tights. Ah, yes. That feet fetish and panty stocking fanservice anime. Well, no blatant feet fetish and panty stocking fanservice here. At least, not very obvious. To compensate for that, I suppose that is why they provide other ‘milder’ fanservice from the female characters in lingerie to their cleavage shots. Enough fodder for fapping. If you’re feeling horny enough. For the record, I didn’t. Because I’m already a veteran in this area ;p.

This has me wonder if this series is set in the same parallel universe as Getsuyoubi No Tawawa. You see, the second season of that series ran concurrently with this one and this has many to also speculate so as they are both short form animes with end card illustrations. Such coincidences in the format. Heck, curiously both had a wedding theme for the final episode! However they are from different authors, there could be some sort of collaboration but so far I can’t seem to find any. The obvious factor that has me linked both series together is the fanservice portion. Viewers would very well know that this is what sells both series. Also, the fact that the characters do not use their real names and are called as per their title or traits, gave the illusion that perhaps both series are quite similar to each other. Imagine if both had a real crossover, the fanservice level would be ramped up to ungodly levels. Yeah.

Speaking of fanservice, because of the kind of fanservice we see here, some may call it cheap and it objectifies and sexualizes women. Yeah, in a PC era world we live in today, this kind of thing will become under such intense scrutiny. I’m not really sure if this is this is what goes through a woman’s mind because if they really like a guy and will have sexual fantasies of him. Maybe not in general but there might be a few isolated cases (I still could be wrong on this, though). That is why the women here are portrayed first hand as sleazy sluts who just want to sleep and f*ck with Douki-kun. Otherwise, how to enjoy your typical fanservice, right? After all, women who are well endowed are more likely to use their sexually attractive charms to try and get the attention of the man they love. It’s only natural. Not PC. And Douki-kun is either dense or be put in an awkward situation because if he becomes a wolf and devours these women, we’ll be screaming our heads off and calling for this pervert’s head to roll. Tough isn’t it, being a man?

Character wise, I think it is pretty decent and ordinary for Douki-chan and Douki-kun. Office romances like these are not very rare and far from reality. It is both painful and fun to see meek Douki-chan’s reactions when she becomes frustrated when her plan backfires or some obstacles (those damn walking tits rivals!) get in the way of her effort. After all, she lacks all those ‘firepower’ her rivals that are naturally bestowed. How do you compete on an unlevelled playing field? Perhaps she would be lucky if Douki-kun would prefer shy girls than bold sluts. Yeah… Of course it would have been too easy had Douki-chan be honest and bold upfront but that takes away the fun and charm of the series. I believe it is the same for Douki-kun. My guts tell me that he is as much in love with Douki-chan as she is for him from the subtle actions that he makes towards her. As pointed out, because he is a man, there are a lot of invisible societal barriers he has to deal with. Thus the awkwardness he has to deal him every time the lovely ladies start to flirt, putting him in quite a spot. Should he make a move? Should he not? How to react? What should he say? Yup, I’m clueless as he is.

Well Kouhai-chan and Senpai-san look like rivals to steal Douki-kun, I have this conspiracy theory that they are only helping to support Douki-chan and push her closer to him. WHAT?! Hear me out. You see the way they act so slutty and all at first looks like as though they want to make him theirs. If that was the case and they were really serious about it, they would have gone all out aggressively instead of playing this meek game. I mean, would it not make sense to quickly confirm the man to be yours instead of bidding and wasting your time with this charade? So they just tease Douki-chan enough and hopefully that jealous reaction of hers would spur her to take greater action. Because for some people, they need to have that little push. Otherwise they’ll be waiting till kingdom come and nothing will begin. Worse, something else tearing them apart. If they play the kind route, that is to advice Douki-chan and directly support her openly, Douki-chan would still be as shy and not be able to take any proactive action. So at least with this rivalry, this would prompt Douki-chan to think and do something about it. Of course lots of hilarity ensued just for our entertainment. Hey, nobody said love was easy and smooth sailing, right?

As mentioned, the character designs are designed by the same guy who did Miru Tights. But I do find the characters to look a bit simple and because of that, sometimes cartoonish (especially Douki-chan’s frustrated reactions). They lack a bit of details and if you’re not focusing, the female characters look pretty much the same. For some reason, they can’t even draw Douki-kun’s eyes and this part of his is always, well, blank. Like as though they can’t make him look at anybody in the eye because I don’t know, if your eyes meet that would spark some sort of instant fall in love romance? So you can’t tell if he is looking at them in the eye, their boobs, their thighs are wherever. This anime is done by AtelierPontdarc and this is their debut production.

Voice acting is pretty standard, nothing much to shout about. The small casts include Nene Hieda as Douki-chan (Miyako in Senyoku No Sigrdrifa), Junya Enoki as Douki-kun (Naoya in Kanojo Mo Kanojo), Sumire Uesaka as Kouhai-chan (Aletta in Isekai Shokudou) and Asami Seto as Senpai-san (Fena in Kaizoku Oujo). The ending theme is Lady Go by Douki-chan and it’s pretty generic. Okay, not too shabby but not the kind that I would love to listen again after a while.

Overall, this short is quite enjoyable if you can see past the fanservice. Which is also fun its own way. It can be suggestive at times but that is all part of the fun. Don’t tell me you prefer boring office romance, no?! Only morally uptight purists would see something wrong with it and some extremes would become a communist and tell people what’s good for them (because this series is not?). Despite seeing Douki-chan experiencing a myriad of emotions, at least we can say that she tried her best. Never try, never know. Better to try and fail than never to try at all. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You get the idea. Unfortunately for Douki-chan, it feels a lot like although she has not failed, she just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Oh well, keep trying and hang in there. Ganbatte, Douki-chan!

Getsuyoubi No Tawawa S2

18 March, 2022

With the persistence of a certain virus still wreaking havoc in the world, and Mondays continue to seem like an annoying drag, I guess we all need that special time again to help us through these hardship and testing times. Yup. Even I myself was surprised when Getsuyoubi No Tawawa S2 dropped. Yes, people. Admit it. Mondays are getting to us and once more we need those twin peaks paradise to blow it all away. This is the real reason why big boobs were created into existence in the first place, RIGHT???!!! Don’t give me your stupid excuses and answers or logic. They don’t work here! Just calm down and watch these boobs and let all your worries for the rest of the week slide away. Oh yeah. I feel this is going to be a great week!

Episode 1
Oniisan and Ai on the same crowded train. She hands him 2 buttons. Apparently she and her little sister, Imouto saw a cartoon of buffed men ripping their shirts with their own chest muscles! So they try it out and ripped a button each! OMG! Boob powers! Yeah, who’s going to sew them back? Ai teases him if he is interested in her sister since she will be attending the same high school this year. While trying to look at the list of students in a class, volleyball friend comes to grope those melons. Definitely it is making all those guys envious. Even more so when Imouto comes to visit her class and sits on volleyball friend’s lap. Asking Ai about her Monday meetings, it seems Ai doesn’t attend them anymore because she hints a certain someone needs extra energy on Monday mornings… Lucky bastard!!!

Episode 2
Maegami was a student under Sensei. She loves him and confessed her feelings to him but as a teacher, maintained professionalism. So she vowed to make him surrender by the time she graduates. Through the years, we see her work hard as a student and from time to time tries to flirt with him. Getting bolder with her sexual charms. Even going so far as to ‘threaten’ him about accepting some other guy’s confession. No budge. But he did make that frustrated face and it thrilled her. Eventually she graduated and admitted she failed to make him surrender. Hence she will graduate from her feelings for him. Thanks for everything. But soon, she turned up at his doorstep and looks like she couldn’t graduate from her feelings. In tears, she really wants to know his feelings. He hugs her and whisper his confession in his ears. Gotcha! Because she got it all recorded! Well, since it has come to this, he pulls her into his room and… Boy, that escalated quickly. Well, she asked for it, right? And now they’re living together and keeping their romance alive.

Episode 3
Senpai and Kouhai are going on a business trip. At the airport security, the alert goes off when Kouhai walks through. Time to frisk the hell out of her! Not. Yeah, the woman TSA just lightly frisking her with some boring equipment. But the other men are enjoying those twin peaks. Oh, just a key to the storeroom in her pocket. Can Senpai block them? At their seats, the air stewardess tries to help close his bag compartment but it’s stuck. Imagine her boobs in his face and with Kouhai helping, double boobs! Can we have some breathing space, please?! After the meeting, they return to their hotel. Senpai wants to drink and goes get her in her room. Oh wow. She’s clad in her towel?! Yeah, that killed his mood. She doesn’t mind, but he does?! F*cking gay!!! On the trip home, déjà vu because the metal detector goes off again… Yeah it’s the key again. I was hoping it would be some iron in those tits… :-(.

Episode 4
Maegami showing off her swimsuit and wants Sensei to take her to the beach. NO?! BUT WHY?! She tries some reverse psychology that he could get to show off his wife who is his ex-student on how big her tits are. Maybe they’ll bump into some old friends and then she’ll cling tightly onto his arm. This bastard still vetoes the idea?! In that case, she asks if he wants to see her suntanned lines. OKAY! I guess this guy has hold it in long enough. Apparently the both of them are Oniisan’s neighbours. Oniisan getting embarrassed each time he sees Maegami sexily greeting Sensei coming home. This makes him envious and thinks of wanting one himself. Oh, fantasizing about Ai, huh?! Speaking of her, she texts him to suggest going somewhere to help cheer him up. Does this Tawawa farm sound good?

Episode 5
The farm trip is here. Oniisan impressed how Ai could use her boobs to hold her bubble tea! Another great use for those twin peaks! And then she straps on the seat belt. Are we going to find the bumpiest road to ride? At the farm, they see the staff milking the cow. Ai giving Oniisan that suspicious look. And then the sheep sniffing Ai’s ass. My theory is because her boobs are too high up to reach! AHAHAHA!!! I’m sure Oniisan knows why the sheep like her so much… On the way back as they feel up the car, the busty gas attendant helps to wipe the windscreen. I think her boobs wiped half of it clean. Best view ever. Ai then teases Oniisan about liking milking and very good at it. What do you expect him to say?

Episode 6
Maegami tries to wake up Sensei but he isn’t getting up. Turns out he is sick so she goes into nursing mode. That night when he feels better, he sees her sleeping by his side. Right before she wakes up, it is hinted he took her measurements?! Meanwhile Kouhai talks to Senpai about seeing a man (Sensei) trying to by an engagement ring. He tells her to be considerate and not say it out loud but she takes it the wrong way and thinks he means she won’t get married. And just like that she just falls asleep like as though it’s her own house when it is actually his. When Sensei returns, Maegami teases that he could’ve bought a present for her for all the hard work she did to take care of him. And then he presents and engagement ring and proposes! Maegami starts crying not because she is happy but rather she forgot to record this proposal! Please do it again! Next morning, Ai and Imouto watch in shock as the newly engaged Sensei and Ai get frisky with each other outside their door.

Episode 7
Wow. Whose bra fell on the balcony? Mom calls Ai and Imouto. They claim it’s not theirs. Could it be mom’s? Well, she claims she has given up on wearing this but because of this, she was able to give birth to them. All bow to this sacred heavenly item! The sisters have an idea whom it belongs to. They go next door and Maegami confirms. Gee, I wonder how they know?! She invites them in for tea as she reveals to them that she just married her husband who was her high school teacher. The sisters are in shock but legally a girl can get married by 16 in Japan. This has Imouto fantasizing something yuri with volleyball friend?! Of course, Ai fantasizing in bed with Oniisan. Don’t speak your mind… Maegami willing to give this bra to her to help seduce him. The topic changes as the sisters notice there are no wedding photos. They don’t really have one has many will not accept a teacher marrying his student. Of course they are not giving up as Maegami still wants to wear a wedding dress. After all, she was the one who put it up to him. Temptation was not resisted.

Episode 8
Kouhai notices the cameraman taking low shot angles over the cheerleaders at the baseball game. I bet this is the much needed motivation for the team to win! This has Senpai advise her not to get caught in such cameras. Especially that picture of her she accidentally sent to him in her high school uniform. Kouhai panics and wonders if he has already deleted it. He didn’t say but that smirk says it all. We see that cheerleader girl and the baseball guy are childhood friends. She’s always teasing him and even more so when her boobs grew too big when she was small, making him feel awkward and embarrassed. He and his friends browse through a magazine featuring sexy pics of her. They are envious he grew up with her because he must’ve seen how those melons grow, right? Cheeky cheerleader girl hints to him to buy the copy if he wants it so much. And so he did. However there is an article about her how she pledged herself to him. This makes him go crazy. So was it just a joke?

Episode 9
Kouhai and Senpai in a ping pong match. However, everyone else noting those ‘volleyballs’ instead. And I bet it is because of those distracting volleyballs the reason Senpai can’t concentrate and lost! So they’re on a company trip. In the dead of the night, Senpai decides to go dip in the hotspring. Kouhai has the same idea but of course there is a border in between. They talk about things and in the end, Kouhai wants him to accompany her. Turns out it is just to drink a can of beer. Was he expecting something else? Worse, as she enjoys the massage chair, only her boobs are vibrating!!! Oh mah gawd… On the trip back, Kouhai hopes to go the hotsprings together again. This has everyone else misinterpret what they did. Technically not a lie but Senpai tells her to keep quiet. Damage control!

Episode 10
Ai showing Oniisan that she was on TV for a few seconds. He wonders if she has been scouted but she asks if he doesn’t like it if she got scouted. Let’s say he wants her only to belong for his eyes. In that case, she shows him a video of her in a cosplay and he keeps staring at it intensely. Furthermore, she put the video on her boobs… Double victory? Cheerleader girl apologizing to baseball guy about the article. Thanks to that, she has gotten more famous and busier as a model. She’s not worried about scandal, though. She wants to copy his homework and to tempt him, she offers to change into a different swimsuit and even hold a private photo shoot. You’d be gay to not accept that! You better stick to your words, girl! And so he sticks his homework in her cleavage. Then she wants him to practice catch with him after she’s done. Why does she need the practice? To work on her shoulders. I’m guessing those twin peaks are causing shoulder pain?! Then we see her as a guest pitcher as she pitches a strike. I’m sure I know why the batter can’t concentrate… Then in the article she thanks a certain guy for all the practice. Oh dear, looks like he is going to blow his top again.

Episode 11
Volleyball friend tries to do a sneak attack hug on Ai from behind. It causes her bra to snap?! Ai wants her to take responsibility. And no, it’s not a confession but to help her go buy a new bra. Yeah, behold and be amazed by the measurements of her bust size! Incredible combat power! It is going to cost for Ai since the bigger her bust, the higher the price. Maegami is also here so she shows them the corset she is buying. Then she gives them advice after looking at their melons. They’re going to have trouble in the future because big busts means ruining the lines of the wedding dress and they’ll have to choose their underwear carefully. Ai is ecstatic to learn that she is going to have a wedding and the date is set. Volleyball friend having a delusion of marrying Ai and almost knocks into a pole! Back home, Imouto and mom congratulate Ai. Why? She broke 1 meter to point K? Oh sh*t!!! May I know if Ai will be changing her name now???!!!

Episode 12
Imouto trying to tell Ai to breathe at the correct timing. Otherwise she can’t zip up her dress! Yeah, those damn boobs. Thankfully they’re done so they don’t have to be late for Maegami and Sensei’s wedding. Wow. Maegami looks so different and ‘clean’ without her bangs. Feeling embarrassed that she can’t hide her face behind something? When the bride throws the flowers, it is Ai who catches it. Hence Maegami’s cheeky advice to wish her luck with Oniisan. Later, we see Maegami soothe a crying baby… Damn, those tits did the job! She hints to Sensei this will be next! Are you ready?! Kouhai impressed seeing a wedding dress as Senpai envisions her in one. Is it time? Another morning at the crowded train station, Oniisan gets ready to ‘protect’ her Ai. No wonder he is all smiles. Nobody protects those boobs like he does!

Episode 13 (Special)
OH YEAH! BEACH EPISODE!!! You know what this means. Those huge jugs bouncing amidst those tight sexy bikini strings! YEAH!!! Volleyball friend sure loves those jugs. But when mama comes out, you bet she’s the monster of the monsters! Meanwhile Maegami tries to wake up her husband by showing those tanned lines over he boobs. It sure made him wake up as he energetically carries her away! Volleyball friend notices a pair of sand mounds next to mama. Could it be hers?! Be amazed! Want to have a feel of it? Then a reporter interviews the sisters but noticing he is focusing on their busts, volleyball friend gets mad and proclaims those belong to her!!! Since when did she have monopoly over them?! Elsewhere, Kouhai tries several sexy swimsuits. She sends a selfie of herself to a colleague for her opinion. Each time, she rejects them all. Yeah, I can see why all of them are not in the safe zones. I wonder how many have already started fapping at this point… Finally, Ai takes a selfie of herself and sends to Oniisan. She hopes they can go together next time. You bet. Because that guy sounds frustrated, letting loose a scream. Damn work! Should’ve just screw it and went with those boobs!

Monday Mammaries: Towering Wows Gets-U-Your-Big Tits!
So people, did those boobs do the trick? Are we all feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the nefarious Monday and the rest of the week?! Oh yeah. Should’ve had one more for the road, eh? Don’t worry if we end up getting boobs phobia like a certain kid in that Maid Dragon series. Pfft. That kid isn’t human. Because we healthy people are more than happy to get our weekly dose of boobs. Tits. Good for the soul, definitely!

Anyway, this sequel feels very much at home as the first. Heck, there isn’t actually any real story plot because we are all so blindsided by the awesome tits in every episode. The episodes are so random and whatever that you won’t even notice because our eyes will be paying attention to somewhere else that is more protruding, AM I RIGHT?!

Ah yes, got to talk about the fanservice because this is what this anime basically sells on. Tits. This series is basically for people who love tits and love them big because you do notice that all the female characters have such huge melons that it feels like it is a natural setting for this world. As long as you are female, you are guaranteed to have big boobs. Small chested girls don’t exist here! So if you’re a fan of that, too bad for you! But for every other people, we are here to enjoy and worship those glorious twin peaks. This series and sequel doesn’t disappoint. We have seen how useful those boobs are too! They’re substitute for cup holders! YEAH! CREATIVITY, PEOPLE! But if this is not enough and you need more, well, you are treading in very dangerous territory because you’ll have to go to the dark side of porn to get that fix. But for us ‘normal’ people, these great boobs are enough to help us fulfil our inner needs. Yeah… Boing, boing gets us going and going through the day! HAHAHA!!! But don’t get too greedy wishful thinking for more than just boobs. Want pantsu and ass? Iyao Na Kao covers that. Have feet fetish? That’s Miru Tights’ area… This series only specializes in boobs so be grateful for the awesome cups we’re getting.

On a curious note, I wonder if this series is related to another short series that ran concurrently with this one: Ganbare Douki-chan. The fanservice level as well as the characters are named based on their titles could fuel this conspiracy that this is more than just coincidence. Even more so when both series had their final episode a wedding theme. Suspicious… But I read somewhere that there was a collaboration somewhere and hence a crossover somewhere. Not in the anime, though. That is why if you notice, both series have characters named Senpai and Kouhai despite being different characters entirely in both series. Hence allowing for some sort of crossover between the in-series’ companies. Oh well, as long as they don’t skimp on the fanservice… Heh…

As we have already seen, this season introduces a couple of new couples. I suppose we have need more doses of boobs from different busty girls because seeing Ai and Kouhai won’t be enough at that point. Hence we have the very flirty Maegami who keeps seducing her Sensei and I won’t be surprised if one day all his pent up frustrations, he’ll really do her in. Well, I think she may be waiting for that day to happen. When that does, be sure to get that recorder ready! Is this how she gets her thrill. Her bangs are messy but I’m not sure what magic she said she had with it. I think the better and truer magic are her boobs… Yeah! The other couple is cheerleader girl and her baseball childhood friend. Might feel another overlapping character like Maegami because she is cheeky-cum-flirty and yes, another bombshell. Their guys are always in a pinch because of their exuding sex appeal. Even if both couples are similar in that sense, because these are different boobs from different women, it’s a pass, right?! I’m sure these guys are good people but also I can’t help feel that because they are male, they have to be careful where they tread because you know, what if the ladies decide to do some prank and cry rape? Not likely for them who are deeply in love with their guys but hey, it’s still a very low possibility.

With these new characters, obviously Ai and Kouhai’s screen time has been taken a hit. So despite Ai being the poster girl of this series, I feel that she doesn’t make quite an impact compared to last season. Of course, her tits are still enormous and growing. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE STILL CONTINUING TO GROW?! Last time it was hinted that Ai wasn’t even her real name and only corresponded to her bust size. Will she now be named Kei???!!! Imagine if she grows a grade, she’ll have to keep changing her name. May I suggest the following then: M for Amelia… N for Anne… O for Oprah… T for Tiffany… Or TiWowWowna AKA Tijuana… V for Vivian… You get the idea, right? Doesn’t necessary need to be a single alphabet letter. I wonder what if she surpasses Z, what will be next?! This is unprecedented!!! As for Kouhai, I see her as a retard and someone who lacks tact. That’s why her senpai has to clean up after her although she means good.

When I first watched this season, I noticed that Ai looks a bit different from the first season. Perhaps it is because Pine Jam (Gleipnir, Gamers, Just Because) who animated the first season has now been replaced with Yokohama Animation Lab (Miru Tights, Lapis: Re:Lights, Magatsu Wahrheit: Zurest). Personally, I still prefer the old Ai’s look because this one makes her look a bit weird. Must be the jawlines? Also, this season’s colouring and hues seemed to be a bit crisped compared to last season which feels mostly pale. But thank goodness those tits are still the same, right? Yeah. Some things never change. Also added this season is that by the end of each episode, you get an extra end card illustration. Oh yeah. More sexy stuffs is what we need.

Recognizable new seiyuus for this sequel include Yuka Iguchi as Imouto and Kikuko Inoue as their mom. I thought it was Haruka Tomatsu as Maegami but it turned out to be Rie Takahashi (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu). The rest are Junichi Yanagita as Sensei (Yoshino in Rewrite), Kouno Marika as cheerleader girl (Suzuka in Uma Musume: Pretty Derby) and Ban Taito as baseball guy (Mikey in Deca-Dence). With a few minor characters from the first season that do not pop up here, I guess this means it is a sad day for me since no cameo from that dentist who was voiced Mamiko Noto. All the boobs in the world won’t be enough… Sayaka Harada (voice of Ai) who sang last season’s ending theme, reprises her role in this season too. Ai No Katachi sounds pretty okay as an anime rock piece.

Overall, this sequel is the much needed stress relief for those who love the first season. Lots of big busty tits fanservice enough to get the job done. Sure, there are way lots of other materials out there on the web that could get the job done better but if you need some sort of booster for your week, this sequel is the perfect jab for that. Heh. The only booster shot that we will willingly get. Heck, not only for Mondays but for all the other days as well. Then we’ll not only have a good week ahead but for the rest of the year! Behold the power of boobs! Mondays will never be the same again. Uh huh. Now are we all looking forward to Mondays?

N/B: Once the effect wears off, can we have another booster shot AKA sequel, pretty please?

Najica Blitz Tactics

13 February, 2022

Imagine if James Bond was female. Oh wait. Did Hollywood just do that gender swap thingy? Well, Japan did it a long time ago. Back in 2001, we had Najica Blitz Tactics, the sexy and panty flashing version of James Bond. There. Your Japanese answer to what James Bond would be if he was a smoking hot female and turned into anime. So I guess if you’re watching this, you’re in for the fanservice, right? Not the action spy thriller drama or anything else. Just the panty flashing and crotch shots because I guess when you’re already a sexy spy, you’ve got to do it all in sexy style. Now I know why they never made any more sequels of this…

Episode 1
We see Najica Hiiragi (and her ass!) in training. Awesome. 100% hit on her targets! Not sure if those simulated targets are programmed to shoot like Stormtroopers, though! And then she receives a rose. A sign that there is a mission for her. As she flies her way to a mansion on a private island, she is being briefed by Gento Kuraku about this recovery-cum-rescue mission. He also wants to ask her out for dinner after this but I guess she’s not interested. It’s mission time, don’t distract her. And so she (dangerously) jumps off her helicopter and onto the island and sneaks into the mansion. However she is soon found out by the maids and the hunt begins. Not sure how those maids could hide their machine guns in their short skirt but hell yeah, they shoot like Stormtroopers too! No wonder Najica could easily dodge and fight back. Madame is about to get lesbo with this unconscious girl, Lila when Najica barges in. Madame, interrupted! Najica easily takes her out and retrieves Lila. Then she fights off more waves of maids until her helicopter arrives. Uhm, is the helicopter on auto pilot because she is piloting it herself back to the aircraft carrier and hand over Lila to her commanding officer. Mission over. Najica returns to CRI Cosmetics where she works as a perfumer and is greeted by her colleagues. She is then summoned by her commander, Jin Majima. He asks if there was anything during the mission that made her uneasy. Nothing in particular. Okay then. Dismiss. When Najica returns home, she thought an intruder had broken in. But it turns out to be Lila and she is up and awake.

Episode 2
Najica seeks an explanation from Majima and Gento so they say she is a Humaritt developed by Shinba Industrial. Basically, an artificial superhuman. They gave her the name Lila since her original code, ZZZ just doesn’t sound right. When Lila went missing, the executives panicked and that’s why CRI was roped in to help retrieve her. But the real story, she was actually to be scrapped so the bosses stepped in to recover her. As for what she is doing in Najica’s place, Lila will be her partner from now on. Najica disagrees because she doesn’t need a partner. While Lila undergoes final testing under Gento, Najica returns to her perfumer job. But soon, another mission. Najica is furious because Lila is going with her on this one and she doesn’t want an inexperienced girl to slow her down. Despite Lila’s assurance, Najica isn’t convinced. If Najica persists, Lila will shoot her. You are not allowed to disobey orders. Okay. Fine. Whatever. On this mission, they are to protect Judge Katsuura’s daughter from being the mafia’s target. The judge didn’t overturn a guilty verdict so they’re going to get revenge by sniping his daughter. Since she will be attending some ceremony, it is most likely they’ll target her here. Najica stakes out the place as she observes Lila being clumsy as hell and like a robot, do as she is told. On the night of the event, Najica manages to intercept the sniper. Yeah, something about Lila’s observation about the sniper in disguise buying some ice cream?! HUH?! However they are in for another surprise as a sniper shot is fired from the Ferris Wheel. Yeah, this sniper has a twin! But wow! Lila shoots and intercepts the bullet! Such precision and accuracy! A few shots exchanged but we all know the snipers are fighting a losing battle. Eventually they are arrested and nothing else untoward happens. Except for Najica chiding Gento for his poor info. He was supposed to provide backup, you know. Back home, Najica continues to be baffled with Lila’s strangeness. WTF this cultivation water? Sighs, gotta teach her from the start to dry herself first rather than cleaning all the water spilled. And don’t go walking around naked like that! You’re a girl, you know!

Episode 3
Holy sh*t! A satellite laser just blew up an entire military island base!!! You bet this is going to be Najica’s next mission. The perpetrator behind this is Todd McCormick. A small time villain who managed to revive an old republic’s satellite laser. Now he is going to sell that access right to anyone who can pay him the right amount. Hence that island destruction was just a demo. Najica’s mission is to disarm the satellite and prevent it from being use for future attacks. Najica and Lila disguise as rich travelling sisters as they meet Todd and his lover, Nyula. Damn, how many types of smile did Lila practice to make the perfect one? Anyway, as Todd dances with Lila, Najica feigns some pain to call it for tonight. That’s because they’ve got his fingerprints and DNA from the sweat. This allows them to track him to his base, an abandoned military base of the republic. Todd being the playboy is caressing Nyula so much that he doesn’t know the agents snuck in? Well, this WTF moment when the agents fail to disarm some special security, Najica just tells Lila to analyse and do something about it. Yeah, she’s going to bomb the hell out of it!!! Can’t say it’s Lila’s fault! But then they are attacked by Nyula’s sound waves. Turns out that she is a Humaritt. Oh, new orders just came in: Retrieve this Humaritt too. Todd threatens to destroy London as he commands Nyula to set the satellite coordinates. Najica in turn threatens to bomb all his plane collection in the hangar. Todd calls her bluff so she sets off all the bombs. Todd so mad he orders Nyula to kill them. WTF Nyula went down with just 1 bullet?! Don’t worry, it’s plastic so it doesn’t kill. Realizing the only way is to overwrite from the main controls, Najica has Lila stall Nyula for 10 minutes. Meanwhile Todd tries to put out the fire on his treasures with his measly hose and gets burnt to death! Dumb but good riddance. Since Najica can’t stop the laser nor change coordinates, WTF you mean it’s faster to programme it to crash on this base?! Just before Lila is defeated, Najica neutralizes Nyula. How does she know where Lila is? Gee, I thought it was because of following all the destruction and action. But nope. She’s got a good nose! YOU MEAN SHE CAN SMELL THROUGH THE MYRIADS OF SMELL FROM THE FIRE, SMOKE, DEBRIS, ETC???!!! Anyway, they leave the base in time with Nyula before the satellite crashes. In the aftermath, Majima is not pleased but Najica tells him back, well, he did say to disarm it and not to crash it. Yup. Next time be specific with his command and orders. Yes, this means no last minute orders too. Got that?!

Episode 4
Wow. Najica sure hell knows a lot about this popular idol group, 4 C’zNs (pronounced as Four Seasons). Well, you’ve guessed it? One of them is a Humaritt and it’s her job to retrieve her. Since first looks makes her unable to tell which is which (obviously), Gento suggests a more personal approach. Hence Najica will impersonate as the manager of Lila who is going to be a new idol alongside 4 C’zNs. While Najica gets friendly with their manager, Ai Irie, Lila scans the rest. To Najica’s surprise, all of them register some sort of similarities. Could it mean that all of them are Humaritt? Gento doesn’t think so. To further prove one is a Humaritt, they have to use this special device and scan their serial number. Which is on their ass. Yup. Going to look at asses! Lila tries to do so while the girls are changing but Ai shoos her out since it isn’t her room. Najica then causes an accident to have drinks spill on them so they are forced to have a quick shower. Yeah, Lila can now scan their asses. WTF, the device doesn’t work when wet?! As Najica is at her wits’ end, while watching one of 4 C’zNs’ video, she suddenly realizes something. She sends the voice for some further analysis. Turns out their voice have been brainwashing others and that’s why they have become so popular. Although it might look like all of them could be the Humaritt, further analysis shows that the actual Humaritt may be hypnotizing the rest to act as one too. Meanwhile Lila is cornered by 4 C’zNs. They know she is a Humaritt and are about to get rid of her but luckily Najica is here to save the day. They go after the girls and knock them out to scan their asses. With 3 misses, obviously the last one is the culprit, right? She hypnotizes Najica out but it seems it doesn’t work on Lila as she shoots her out. Then they scan her ass… Surprise! Not a Humaritt! The true culprit is of course Ai. She hypnotizes Najica to do her bidding. Because Lila follows Najica’s orders, she too can’t do anything. But suddenly Najica shoots and disables Ai. How?! Oh, she’s wearing earplugs. They scan her ass. Yup, III AKA Ai is really the Humaritt. In the aftermath, 4 C’zNs announce their breakup and will go solo. Uhm, do we even care after seeing their asses?!

Episode 5
Ricardo Kidel has bought a ballistic missile from the black market and intends to fire it on his native country to kill off the old government whom he is having bad blood with. Hence, we know what’s Najica’s mission, right? Of course, he also has a Humaritt so be careful not to hurt her and bring her back in 1 piece. As they stake out the place, the moment Lila discovers a dead courier person body in the truck, Najica goes into action and disables all the cronies in the bar. Yeah, the patron, the workers and just about everybody gets owned. Najica escapes by the skin of her teeth from the sniping of Koharu. However the big fish has left in his own private cruise. Time to hop aboard. Inside, they sneak around until they get caught. Najica surprised to see Lila having a flesh wound on her arm since Koharu fired at her. She helps bandage it and Lila thanks her. You mean Najica didn’t expect that?! So a Humaritt isn’t capable of gratitude? So they fight their way through a wave of sailor babes. Yeah, literally littering the entire corridor with them showing their glorious ass! Kidel and Koharu manage to escape in their submarine. Yeah, this is where the missile is located. Time to hop aboard. At first, Najica is kept busy by Koharu. However Najica is thrown off balance when Koharu feigns pain to indicate she isn’t a Humaritt. Koharu gives Najica a beat down before Lila returns to help settle the score while Najica goes to place the bomb at the booster fin. Yeah, too late to cancel so as the missile launches, it goes out of control but ends up dropping into the ocean. The only casualty is Kidel since for some reason he got burnt to death by the rocket fire. Yeah, I guess it saves the rest of the sailor babes from dying a needless death, huh? Koharu is retrieved and as she is in Gento’s lab, the moment Najica gets close to her, Koharu tries to strangle her. Luckily Gento injects her with some serum to knock her out. The sad reality is that despite her master is dead, she will continue to be loyal to him since there were no cancellation orders from her master and will forever be like this. Najica can only lament if she was human, she would’ve been able to think on her own.

Episode 6
A ship transporting a Humaritt was ambushed. Now the Humaritt has escaped. WTF she looks like a cross between Sakura and Tsunade?! Anyway, it might look like a simple retrieve mission but you see, this place where the Humaritt escaped is no man’s land. Some disaster that made no countries want to own it. Currently it is occupied but some organization led by the mad scientist-cum-CEO, Kissling. Oh, he has a private army too? You bet they are going after this Humaritt. To complicate matters, this escaped Humaritt has no master imprinted onto her yet so it is unprecedented how she will react. Yeah, that’s why they send Najica to clean up this sh*t, right? So we see the Humaritt displaying even extraordinary superhuman abilities that wipe out the army division easily. The general disagrees in chasing after something so dangerous but Kissling believes the more dangerous it is, the more worthy it is. If Shinba threw it away, he is going to make use of their technology. Najica is of course no match for the Humaritt and could’ve lost had not the Humaritt experienced some sort of pain and retreat. The Humaritt rests to rejuvenate itself as Gento reveals more info about this Humaritt. Codenamed BBB, it seems she doesn’t have her limiters too. This means unlike other Humaritt who limit their physical abilities (so as to be similar to humans – why the f*ck for?!), this is going to be a tough one to crack. Yeah, the best they can do is give her some souped up weapons. Hope that helps. When BBB is back online, she is ambushed and captured by the military. But then she fights back. More complication as Najica enters the fray. As expected, she can’t handle this and is in danger as BBB tries to kill her. Lila risks her own safety and life just to save her. Suddenly BBB acts strange. It is believed she has used up her powers and reached her limit. At that moment, she becomes very afraid and cowers at the corner. Of course Najica tries to calm her down. Meanwhile the general is killed off by Kissling since he doesn’t want to pursue this. WTF Kissling going to fly his jet and kill everybody but holy f*ck, Lila just shoots her gun at his plane and KABOOM! F*cking easy and hilarious! In the aftermath, Najica feels sad for her fate but she has something closer to worry about as Lila collapses.

Episode 7
Although Lila is recuperating, Najica casts a forlorn figure. Wow. She’s so worried about her partner, huh? A far cry from her old days. But Gento better be careful with his words because Najica will not have him downgrade Lila as though she isn’t human. Gento tries to have her relax and chill but Najica keeps asking him about Humaritt and how many of them are left. He claims he doesn’t know but also tries to tell her to not let emotion get in her way. So if he isn’t going to tell her anything, I guess she’s not going to drink with him for tonight. Najica’s thoughts are preoccupied with Lila so she can’t concentrate on her perfumer job. Of course, another mission. Swaney Kuronikowa is a young maths prodigy. Basically she is trying to escape from her Soviet-like country and is currently hiding in some small republic country (Switzerland?). You bet it is Najica’s job to retrieve her. This time she has to go it alone without a partner. Well then, don’t worry. It’ll be just like old times. Upon landing in the country, we see Najica in a car chase with an agent who is after Swaney, Lady. What an easy car chase because Lady crashes?! Swaney and her bodyguard, Daniella is resting in a hotel. They thought CRI is here but it turns to be another agent from the Soviet to retrieve her, Franc. Daniella tries to protect Swaney but gets owned. Damn, big black guy gonna rape Daniella? Nope, some wrestling moves to give some pain. By the time Najica arrives, Franc just took Swaney away. How the f*ck did Lady drive here in her sidecar so fast?! Daniella badly bruised but I guess the hotel staffs can take care of it while Najica goes after the agents. WTF Franc returns to play chicken with Najica?! But with bazookas! Stupid Franc dies since he gets hit directly by Najica’s bazooka. Boom! Najica arrives in time as Lady tries to force Swaney into the jet plane. Is it me or do I just realize that Lady has been running around without any pants all the time?! Anyway, the ladies fight. Trouble looms as Najica shoots the fuel tank. This makes Lady to become cautious as she has to bring Swaney back alive. Because of that, Najica owns her. Oh no. Fuel from the crashed car gonna blow up the plane. Jump, Swaney! JUMP! Right into Najica’s arms and right before the whole thing explodes. What an explosive spectacle. When Swaney is brought back, it seems she and Gento know each other well. Something about his company owes a lot to her so he’ll be taking care of her now. Najica returns home and gets a scare to see Lila unconscious on the floor. Turns out she was tired after making dinner. Yeah, just drop dead like that, huh? Dinner’s already cold, by the way…

Episode 8
Wow. Fancy seeing Najica and her measurements?! On to the next mission, there will be a military aviation show and it is believed a Humaritt known as Toni will pop up there. Unfortunately they don’t know how she looks like nor her capabilities. But they do know she serves Rasse Pewnt who is black market weapons broker. Yeah, at this point do we even need to ask what Najica’s mission is? Uh huh. Najica even noticing this has been her mission lately. Can’t disobey, right? At the grounds, Azusa Katsuragi is supposed to do some publicity stint for this new jet plane, Oboro. However, where are all the media?! No publicity?! It seems everyone is taking photos of Najica and Lila as hot show girls. Oh yeah! Keep that sexy coming! Even Gento trying to add to his photo collection… You bet Azusa isn’t amused and has a small b*tch showdown with them. Nothing she can do about it. As they take a break, it seems Gento believes Toni will not show up and it has been a waste of time. Well, don’t look now because Toni just showed up (she was masquerading as a waitress) and owns the military! Yeah, military security is so pathetic! Toni steals Oboro but takes Azusa as hostage so that the guys can’t activate the self-destruct. I wonder how Toni can fly if Azusa’s ass is in her face all the time! Anyway, Najica and Lila give chase in an older model plane. After Toni lands on an aircraft carrier that Rasse is on, he notices the agents coming so he wants Toni to test Oboro’s abilities. Uhm, is this called dogfight or b*tch fight? Anyway, even more amazing is that Lila parachutes down so slowly and all of Rasse’s goons can’t even hit her! But she hits her target?! Not sure how but Najica’s plane completely destroys Oboro! HOW?! Toni doesn’t give up and fights back. Yeah, insane amount of ludicrous action like Toni hanging onto Najica’s plane, Lila sniping the string so she drops hard. But the killer is when Najica fires her missile and Toni tries to f*cking catch it! She couldn’t control it so it destroys the ship’s interior. Thank goodness it didn’t go off and f*cking explode the ship. Yeah, a few shots to wound and immobilize Rasse. In the aftermath, all the goons are arrested. Azusa upon learning Najica her saviour has now fallen in love with her. She wants to hire her as her bodyguard and training. Majima gives Najica this mission but it is special because she gets to turn it down. And boy, Najica sure refused it because she thinks Lila is more than enough for her. Yup, don’t want some sort of complicated rivalry to arise from that.

Episode 9
Najica is left deep in thoughts about the various Humaritt she has met. She still thinks they have no will of their own but follow their master’s. But is that all true? Today’s mission will have the duo head to some Arabian empire. Currently it is ruled by a dictator queen and the country is suffering from impoverishment due to the civil war. Currently the liberation army is led by Athena Gilnande. What’s more, she is the queen’s daughter. Of course their mission is not to get involve in the civil war but to retrieve the Humaritt, Elith who is Athena’s right hand woman. So the duo sneak into the liberation army’s base. Lila stumbles into Elith and they talk about what it means being a Humaritt. Elith thinks she is more mature than Lila since she knows her master well enough to act without being told. Lila is paralyzed and dumped out. Meanwhile Najica gets captured and tortured! Oh sh*t! I guess the salute to Athena gave her away. They don’t salute here?! How can Najica not do her homework?! Anyway, they torture her thinking she is from the government. Elith brings news that the government forces are coming here. Najica smirks as she tells them to give up. But Athena talks to Elith privately and asks about their chances of victory. While Elith is confident they can win, Athena thinks otherwise. She realizes that all their rebelling has not changed the queen and hence to stop sacrificing the needless lives of their comrades, she wants to surrender. However Elith gets mad especially about Athena’s lie to fight till their deaths. She refuses to back down from this fight. That is when Elith pulls out her gun and shoots her! OMG! Uhm, so the other army girls take Elith as their new leader? So logically who puts on the cap becomes the new boss? Oh, Najica has escaped and saw this atrocity. She is no match fighting Elith but here comes Lila barging through with a tank. Did she think for herself? Lila says everyone else has run away. Yeah, either they are smart or cowards. Elith refuses to believe that and charges alone in her tank. Yeah, she gets bombed the hell out by the government’s air forces! In the aftermath, Gento retrieves Elith as he narrates about Humaritt taking after their master. Because humans are double faced, a pure and obedient Humaritt may be unable to understand that. This may lead the Humaritt disagreeing with their master for the first time and for Elith, it led her to kill Athena. Also, the queen has been disposed by another group and now her secretary becomes the leader of this new republic.

Episode 10
Double mission for Najica and Lila. They are to led this man, Yoshiki Kamiwazumi to safety and bring him to Gento. He also has a Humaritt assistant, Serina and they have to retrieve her. Apparently they are running from Rinka Ren who is the mother of all Humaritt. Yes, she created them. After Shinba pulled the plug on the project, she disappeared with all the Humaritt and that’s why Najica has been on a spree to retrieve them. As Ren is still missing, only Yoshiki knows her whereabouts. Najica and Lila meet up with the duo on the train. The humans talk privately as Yoshiki claims they are both deeply in love with each other since he was in charge of raising her and they both grew close enough to become lovers. However Ren was against it and tried to separate them, even trying to reprogramme Serina. That’s the reason why they eloped. Najica poses the question that on her way here, she saw many defeated ninja robot babes. Was it his doing? Nope. He doesn’t think Serina did it too because he told her to appreciate life. Of course those ninja robot babes and infiltrated the train and we see Serina in her cold killer assassin mode picking them off. Since Lila sees this, she tells her not to tell Yoshiki. The attack gets more intense as they detach their carriage and bomb it! Luckily they jump off but must now trek to the nearest shelter. Luckily Yoshiki is out tired so he can’t see Serina killing more adversaries. They take a rest in a cabin and they should know better than to let their guard down because yeah, ninja robot babes shooting bazooka into it!!! With Yoshiki slightly injured, you bet Serina is mad as she goes on a killing spree. However Najica is through playing the nice woman so she tells her the truth that they can never be together since it’s her mission to retrieve her. Since Serina won’t be separated from her love, she considers Najica her enemy. They fight but Lila gets confused when Najica orders her to stay put. Eventually Yoshiki comes in between and this distraction allows Najica to defeat her. In the aftermath, Yoshiki hands Gento whatever data he needs. Because Yoshiki intends to continue living with Serina, Gento gets mad and tells him to stop playing family with this doll. He won’t budge. Gento pleads for Najica’s help. Well, everyone is free to live the way they want. And that’s that. But Lila seems distraught that she doesn’t understand Najica despite being her partner.

Episode 11
Gent is joining the frontlines of the army as they exchange fire with a bunch of Humaritt? Well, this is so that Najica and Lila can infiltrate an abandoned shopping complex supposedly Ren’s hideout. Flashback during the briefing, Majima told Najica that her main objective is to retrieve Ren but if she can, the Humaritt she has too. Because it is Lila’s birthplace, it’ll be dangerous to bring her as it might trigger something. However Najica trusts in Lila and will still bring her on this mission. So yeah, Gento’s army takes a pounding until Humaritt XXX comes to the fore and fires her bazooka at air reinforcements. If more arrive, she’ll activate the laser satellite and blast them out of the sky! Woah! No chance! Better retreat. Yeah, Gento the fastest runner. Meanwhile Najica tells Lila to split up so they can look faster. But Lila stumbles into a huge tank containing a young male Humaritt named Alpha. She awakens him. At this point, her contacts are lost so Majima contacts Najica to warn her the worse may have happened to Lila. If that is the case, she has to decide. She is her partner after all. XXX returns to the tank and is shocked Alpha is gone. Because Najica just stumbled into the scene, XXX accuses her of doing something to Alpha although Najica doesn’t know what she’s talking about. They fight in this game of hide and seek-cum-cat and mouse. Meanwhile we see Lila just wandering around with Alpha. It’s like they’re lost kids or something. Lila won’t teach him things and tells him to figure it out himself. Yeah, he learns fast. We return to Najica as she reaches the subway area. When a coach of trains passes, she sees test tubes of Humaritt inside. And across the platform is Ren.

Episode 12
Najica says she is here to protect her and escort her back. However Ren tells her that it won’t be necessary because she has her Humaritt. She then goes on to blame Shinba for panicking when they saw the true potentials of Humaritt and abandoned the project. With the next train arriving, Ren jumps on board. Woah! She has got to be a Humaritt to do that perfectly! Not sure how Najica caught up after fighting waves of Humaritt goons. But why did Ren make the stop? Wasn’t she supposed to escape out of here or something? But she’s still stuck in this underground. She calls out to XXX but she doesn’t respond. As Najica fights her, she realizes that this is not Ren but XXX. That smell. However Ren chides her for making such mistake. Najica proves her wrong as she shoots and wounds her. That is Humaritt blood, right? It is then XXX starts to panic and become scared. Some trauma about Ren promising she will never abandon them. Looks like she did. Yup, Ren was never here in the first place. Meanwhile Gento has got orders to get out. Looks like time is up and they’re going to bomb the whole place! As Najica and XXX continue to fight, XXX (oh sh*t, (wo)man with the golden gun?!) obviously is winning and is about to kill her when she spots Alpha ahead. She goes to call him but he gets scared and hides behind Lila. Attempts to lure him to her side fails. XXX is sad and takes this as a sign that he too has abandoned her. Humaritt logic? He must die! So another fight on the cards. But both Najica and Lila are defeated! XXX approaches Alpha but he starts crying. Too bad, the military now bomb the hell out of the place! Once outside, Najica and Lila are still alive. They hear Alpha’s cries. After removing the slab, they see XXX died protecting him. In the aftermath, Najica needs to return Alpha to HQ too. But Lila disagrees. Why? Because she doesn’t want to. Since that will be breaking orders, Najica tells Lila to shoot her if she wants to go ahead and live her own free life. Otherwise, Najica will take Alpha back. Both girls point their guns at each other in this intense Mexican standoff. And then both fire… In the aftermath, Swaney tries to visit Najica at work but is told that she has taken a long vacation. That means there goes Gento’s hopes in inviting Najica out to some game. Apparently Najica on a long leave isn’t some spy code talk. Majima actually granted Najica that long leave because she asked for it. She deserved it. In some European city, Najica is enjoying her cuppa when she thought she spotted Lila and Alpha before disappearing into the crowd. Whatever, right?

Mission: Possible! A View To Thrill
Honestly, the ending leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, it’s not really a bad ending but it feels it could’ve been a bit better. Yeah, me and my ungodly expectations. I thought I had low expectations for this series in the first place? Firstly, although it is not clear if Najica and Lila separated, the final scene is the big hint that indicates so. I mean, Lila going on to live freely with Alpha, will CRI or even Shinba allow it? Weren’t they supposed to retrieve all the Humaritt, dead or alive? Oh right. The convenient bombing of the whole damn place. It’s the perfect excuse to kill off Lila on the records and says she died during the bombing. But shouldn’t Najica have retrieved her body too if that’s the case? Perhaps that is why Majima gave the vague order to retrieve other Humaritt as her side mission. It wasn’t important. So she’s not technically breaking any orders. If so, why did she do that to Lila about wanting to take in Alpha? Could she just make up a lie? Maybe Najica deemed her ‘mature’ enough to live by herself because the more she follows her, the more it will conflict with her basic instincts as a Humaritt.

Secondly, I was hoping to hear the reason of why Humaritt were created but apparently didn’t get a decent answer. Logically, they’re created because mankind can do so with science and technology. That’s it. Perhaps they have foresight to abandon the project after realizing they could become like Terminators where artificial intelligence rise up and rule the world! Yeah, they must have gotten scared after seeing that Hollywood movie! Also, trivial question: Is a Humaritt named so with the combination of human + it? Add the ‘r’ in between for smoother pronunciation. Geddit? Anyway, this also begs the question about Ren’s whereabouts. Where is she to begin with? My conspiracy theory is that she is already dead in the first place due to some mishap or even perhaps XXX accidentally killing her and then trying to cover up her guilt with lies and thus the awakening of Alpha. Otherwise, it is very unlikely that the creator of Humaritt, one who put all of her blood, sweat, tears, time and energy into the project would just abandon them like her corporate bigwigs. Ah well, I guess there are answers we’ll never get. Although the series didn’t get a sequel, it did spawn a manga with a different ending. Maybe they explained things and polished up things there but you know me and reading manga, right?

So, if you’re wondering why this series reeks trademark, setting and style like another sleazy fanservice anime, Agent Aika, please bear in mind that both series were directed by the same person and even produced by the same anime studio! So I suppose it’s like they wanted to test some ideas of the same theme and hence borrowed a lot of elements from Agent Aika to see if Najica would work out. Well, not to say Agent Aika was any better but I guess it was popular enough to spawn some sort of prequel spinoff after that. And this one almost nearly forgotten unless you get lucky and stumble it upon chance over the internet. Yes, that’s how I found this anime, thank you. It’s hard to think that this series itself became like a Humaritt project and got abandoned. Man, it could have been something if Najica and Aika were set in the same universe! It would’ve been an epic crossover as well as an epic fanservice fans have been waiting for!

As far as this series is concerned, I believe they don’t want to focus too heavy on the plot and story. It is evident that every episode feels like a standalone filler that is somewhat independent of each other. More so, side characters appear only once for that episode and never appear again. Because they want to focus on the bombastic action and the sleazy fanservice, you would notice that the plot or rather the missions that Najica undertakes in every episode is explained very quickly. Look girl, here is the situation. Blah, blah, blah. Now this is what you must do. Yada, yada, yada. Got it? Okay. Go! It’s like they want to get that out of the way so that the rest of the episode could be focused on the twin action and fanservice combo. While that formula works great for this since you can basically watch and forget without getting your head hurt, thinking about the confusing plot over plot, this of course means making the series boring in that particular sense. I mean, it follows the same formula. Najica and Lila undergo a mission to retrieve a Humaritt. Lots of explosions and gun fights in between. Even more pantsu shots thrown in between. They win. Bad guys die. Humaritt retrieved. Day is saved. Woah. You can’t get as simpler as that, can you?

And of course we have to talk about the fanservice. That is the main draw of this series, right? You could say all the females here are walking fanservice because it is like long skirts don’t exist in this world and each and every single one of them only wears mini skirts. Uh huh. It’s like they never get the idea to wear even pants. Whether humans or Humaritt, mini skirts are the only fashion for the ladies here! It is so freaking obvious the panty shots and crotch shots at almost every corner that I suppose the cameraman must be the happiest and most dedicated guy crawling around to give us those delicious shots from those low angles. Yeah. This series should’ve been called Najica Blitz Pantsu Tactics! Those panty shots are bombarding-cum-raiding our eyes at blitzkrieg speed!

The insanity that almost everything the ladies do is for the sake of fanservice. You can tell when the defeated maids or Humaritt, they spread their legs as wide as possible just to give us that obligatory panty shots. If not, they faint by showing us their ass. I mean, who the f*ck goes unconscious like that???!!! I think I have pointed this out before because you do notice that everyone is wearing the same white panties! So, there are no other designs or colours?! Not even main character Najica?! (I only remember Madame from the first episode wearing a different lingerie). Well, my old theory implies that since everybody is going to give us that sleazy fanservice, it is going to be hard and tough to draw all of them with different designs and colours. I bet the animators will spend more time fapping and trying to perfect them even if they’re shown for a short while, and doing so means things won’t get done and the episode won’t be released on time! So yeah, want to see nice ass and pantsu shots? Got it. But all of them wears the same white pantsu. Hey, can’t have your cake and eat it too, right? Can’t have everything. Thanks for all the glorious pantsu anyway.

This series also shows bare tits but it is just sparingly. I thought they censor them in the initial episodes because if you notice the dumb way Lila rejuvenates in her special Humaritt blood inside the bath tub. Uhm, why is she prostrating and not just lying ordinarily? So I thought it was to conveniently hide her tits and front but this isn’t the case as in subsequent episodes, you get to see tits here and there although like I said, they’re just very sparingly.

Of course there are the action bits too but I also believe that this is only to help complement the fanservice moments. Because otherwise, you won’t get to see Najica and the other ladies go close up and do hand to hand combat in the sense that they’ll stretch their legs and give that revealing high kick. And of course, the ladies jump and with their skirt already so short, it reveals their pantsu. That’s why the action has got to be bombastic and outrageous. Otherwise you won’t get your fanservice + action combo. Imagine if everyone is fighting so prim and proper. BORING!!! But looking at the action parts itself, they are really over the top and exaggerated in its own right. Gun fights! Explosions! Yeah, this series has got all that covered too even if some of them are really dumb. Because that’s what a spy themed anime needs, right? Another weird action moment is that with the deluge of gunfire, everyone else seems to have Stormtrooper aiming ability but Najica and Lila hit their target on the first shot! Or are they shooting blanks?!

Too bad I feel that it is a waste that Najica doesn’t have cool spy tools at her disposal. Not much anyway. Even so, they’re forgettable and just for plot convenience. Heh. She’s not even the 007 so why the heck does she need gadgets to get the job done? Her short skirt is enough to get the job done, if you know what I mean!!! Also, Najica is like Batman and that means she has a no-kill policy, hence her gun is only loaded with plastic bullets. Hurt you enough to be unconscious but it won’t kill you. Thus no guilty conscience if Najica had a hand in killing baddies because they die by their own stupid hands or some other ways. Not Najica’s fault.

As for the characters, well, there’s nothing too deep about them. The main focus is about the bond between Najica and Lila but that feels very minimal. In most episodes, I feel like the duo working as a pair as things eventually work out to their advantage is because of pure luck AKA plot convenience. It is somewhat unbelievable that Najica has been working alone for so long, quickly accepts a Humaritt as her partner. At first she was resisting but then suddenly like in the next episode, they’re like getting along pretty fine? Oh well, if Lila is going to be her partner for a long time, might as well accept it all. Can’t risk disobeying orders. Lila more than often is portrayed as a retard because of her child-like behaviour as she follows most orders to a T. Because of that, sometimes she feels like a joker character although it comes off more as weird than funny. Clumsy and awkward in other ways but deadly when it comes to fighting off adversaries. Sometimes you have got to wonder what her line of thought is. With the series reaching its climax, you thought that it would further explore deeper and test the bonds that Najica and Lila had so far. Well, uhm, that Mexican standoff didn’t feel like it. It felt a bit rushed. So no complicating drama of Lila turning on Najica despite that hint at the end of the desert and train episode. Maybe Najica nipped this problem in the bud before Lila could become like Elith’s case? That’s why she set her free? Like as though Alpha was the good reason and good timing to get rid of her. Back to lone wolf Najica! No wonder she’s so cool enjoying her long holiday!

As for the other characters, nothing really much too. Gento comes off more as some sort of an annoying guy than anybody who is useful or trying to support Najica. They try to make him look like a Playboy as he tries to hit on Najica several times but the cool spy always turns him down. But that doesn’t put him off one bit. There’s always another time. Then there is Majima. He is just Najica’s boss and one who gives her the missions. That’s all. I thought there would be some conspiracy and he would be the main antagonist and in cohorts with some villainous organization to harvest Humaritt for some nefarious ends. But I have to remember that this series doesn’t delve on convoluted plots. So he turns out to be just one boring boss after all. No charisma. Not even have that threatening or scary aura. Just plain boring. At least Gento tried to do something in the frontlines in the final couple of episodes even if he didn’t do anything much and looked more like a useless clown. And the best Majima could do at the end of this series was to give Najica a long vacation. Well, it’s not like she has resigned, right? Doesn’t CRI have any other spies of her calibre?! And it seems pretty redundant that Majima gives her a rose for a special mission and when she is successfully done with it, she returns it to him. Like, WTF?! I can’t believe Najica (and her pantsu) can stay totally clean during all the fighting and even the environment she goes through and that rose she carries along with her ON THE FRONT OF HER BLAZER’S LAPEL is still as healthy as f*ck!

A point to ponder about the Humaritt AKA Triple Series as they are often referred to, are those with same and similar alphabets are the smarter ones and have the ability to evolve and act like a human? Because so far we see all those retrieved are of that type. So what about all the other lesser Humaritt that serve as low level soldiers and only exist for the body count? Well, they didn’t check all their asses so I am assuming that they go by a different alphabet combination. Otherwise it would not make sense for everyone not to know how many Humaritt are there, right? F*cking hell, there are only 26 of them, baby! Unless you have Greek alphabet, which we don’t see, that would be a different case but I digress since we already have Alpha. Does he have his serial number on his butt too? Heck, are Roman alphabet Humaritt all female and Greek alphabet males? Can someone answer my question?! I’m dying to know! Anyway, it’s pretty dumb and no brainer to name them with 3 similar alphabets and not even alphanumeric. I mean, some give off the wrong vibe. Like Lila who is ZZZ, no wonder she looks sleepy sometimes and spacing off. XXX the antagonist is nowhere near porn level status. AAA sounds like a battery. III could be mistaken for Roman letters, just saying… Will WWW have internet capabilities?! Haha! Could HHH be a WWE pro wrestler? And imagine the one labelled as KKK!!! F*cking racist!!! You get the idea, right?

Art and animation are pretty retro and standard from the early 2000’s era. Animated by Studio Fantasia who also did Agent Aika so you can see a few similarities there. Speaking of which, if you find 4 C’zNs looking very familiar like the main quartet of Stratos 4, yes, they are. They just changed their names. After all, Stratos 4 was also another anime that Studio Fantasia animated albeit later in 2003. I believe that there are other trivia especially to the James Bond franchise but I’m not a fan of the 007 works so I didn’t really spot them except the one XXX and her golden gun. Does that gun look familiar, huh?

If there was one other thing that is awesome about this series, it is that opening theme, aptly named after as Najica by Diligent Circle of Ekoda. This is a very lively and jazzy fanfare instrumental piece that befits the spy thriller genre of this show and it is quite catchy in its own right. So catchy that you can hear this same theme playing throughout the action scenes in that episode. It is a good thing I didn’t get bored of it and each time this song plays, my mood is further lightened up with this piece. Terrific triple combo of fanservice + action + great Najica music! The ending theme, Body & Mind by Natsumi Harada also has this same vibe. Jazzy and lively, but with how awesome the opener is, this sexy number feels like it fell short. But nevertheless, it’s still a cool spy-like song to hear especially with the cool nifty bass lines and the blaring trumpet fanfare in the background.

Overall, this show has some entertainment value and is still fun in its own right. I mean, it’s not a masterpiece but it is definitely not a bad or even a crappy anime. Yes, this beats a lot of recent animes that I still continue to see today. An example? Let’s say for the spy thriller genre, Tesla Note isn’t what I’m expecting it turned out to be. And that’s not a good thing! So with Najica, even if the plot and story are sacrificed, at least we get great fanservice and exaggerated action. Oh yes, don’t forget Najica’s theme song too. I’m sure there are better and wholesome animes out there but if you’re looking for something simple and pleasing to the desires of the flesh for the short term, this series has got it covered for you. So is anybody going to drop a special rose as a special mission to revive this series? No? Nothing? No one? Ah well. Looks like Najica is on permanent vacation.

Futari Ecchi

5 February, 2022

Long before the seasonal pseudo hentai anime started a few years back, there was Futari Ecchi back in 2004. Oh heck, there were a lot more hentai and mild ecchi stuffs that came out in between those years. What I’m trying to say is that probably watching all those fake hentai made me remember why I didn’t watch this in the first place. It’s not like I didn’t know it existed. Perhaps it wasn’t really that ‘important’ for me to go watch this then. I mean, sometimes when I am watching those pseudo hentai, this title popped up in my mind from time to time. But I often brushed it off to watch it later or someday. I mean, that sex isn’t going anywhere, right?! And now that someday has come. Maybe I can only take 1 phoney hentai series per season. A few more might burst my libido!!! HAHAHA! Sighs. Yeah, so you’ve guessed I don’t have anything this season under this category to watch and thus the perfect excuse to try out this retro ecchi series. Finally it’s time. Thanks for the waiting. Here I cum!

Episode 1
WTF, Makoto Onoda watching a video of an interview about a girl’s sex and masturbating habits?! Not brave enough to watch real porn, huh?! Yura Kawada leaves work to meet up with Makoto. A strange guy asking her sex preferences before leaving. WTF?! As Makoto prepares to go meet Yura, suddenly this cute girl comes up to him and asks his sexual fetishes. WTF is wrong with everybody?! He denies all her suggested fetish and claims he is normal. Good. Because if he makes her sister unhappy, she’ll kill him. When the lovers meet up, Makoto tells us that he can’t believe that he is getting married to her. So I’m guessing he was watching that video for advice, huh?! So we see them on their wedding day. Makoto realizes that cute girl is Rika and is Yura’s younger sister. Wait a minute. You mean he doesn’t even know her family members?! He’s marrying her for God’s sakes! During the wedding as Makoto goes to take a piss, he hears someone having sex in the cubicle! Oh, sounds like Rika getting screwed by her boyfriend!!! An embarrassed Makoto hurries back to Yura. Wonder how awkward it’ll be when he faces Rika next time. Now that they are officially married, Makoto is anxious about their first wedding night together. However with Yura tired and flat out asleep, I guess another time. One day when Makoto is at work, Yura stumbles upon that video! Curious, she puts it in and watches that interview. Awkward! It gets more so when Makoto comes back. She panics and accidentally increases the volume! Right when that video girl is masturbating and climaxing! Awkward!!! So Yura now a naughty girl trying to seduce Makoto? Nope. Just his imagination. But yeah, time to try out sex for real. They’re married, no? Both being virgins, they’re both shy-shy and experimenting. Just as Makoto is about to get into the flow, he climaxes. Damn premature ejaculation. Thankfully Yura such an understanding wife and despite it was pain, she also felt good. So I guess more practice to make it perfect, huh?

Episode 2
Oh yeah! They’re getting it on! Too bad Makoto climaxes too fast again. Although Yura doesn’t mind, this is really making him depressed. He offers other ways to make her feel good but let’s not get too far ahead first. At work, Makoto is introduced to a new colleague, Miyuki Kikuchi. He finds her familiar but couldn’t out his finger on it. At the pantry, another colleague, Makie Sugiyama who is in love with Makoto, tries to make her advance. She knows he is married but still hasn’t given up on him. Thanks to Miyuki coming into the picture, she leaves. Meanwhile Rika calls Yura and thinks she is having the time of her life. WTF Rika calling her while her boyfriend is going down on her pussy?! She’s making those weird sounds! So Rika is just calling Yura to give her some sex tips?! Wow. Rika got so much time that she visits Makoto at his office. She asks if he is making her sister happy. Still hanging on to that threat?! She can tell he ended it all too fast so he claims he does foreplay. Rika the expert tells him how to use his tongue down there. You bet she knows it all because she’s going to date with her 4th boyfriend now! Makoto is spooked since Miyuki was eavesdropping on this. Then she tells him to meet at a certain hotel after work. Meanwhile, Yura goes to meet her old friends who are all married. WTF the first thing they talk about is sex?! Oh yeah, more specifically, how to give their husband a good blowjob. WTF is wrong with these people?! You curious, Yura? Since she won’t understand verbally, they take her to a room to privately demonstrate. Yeah, practice licking this banana. Unknown to her, Makoto also meets Miyuki in this hotel. Such a coincidence their rooms are just next to each other! Makoto now remembers who Miyuki is. She was the girl whom he tutored 6 years ago. And now Miyuki strips and wants his semen?! YOU WANT HIS CHILD?! Luckily the temptation is strong in Makoto as he tells her that she will one day find her own happiness despite Miyuki being pessimistic that she won’t marry anyone else. Miyuki breaks down in tears as she confesses how much she loves her sensei. Later Makoto and Yura meet up at the former’s parents’ home. They also stay for the night. Wow. They’re going to try having sex here? Be careful, the walls are thin. Makoto gets a surprise since Yura starts giving him a blowjob. Wow. She must be good because after that single lesson, she’s like a pro! This makes Makoto give a better performance as they f*ck to their heart’s content. Such bliss. Well, they’re not the only ones having a good time. Because their moaning was loud, Makoto’s younger sister has been eavesdropping while masturbating herself! Oh yeah. It was good…

Episode 3
We are introduced to Makoto and Yura’s neighbours: Takeshi and Mika Yabuki. They’ve been married longer than them but haven’t had sex in quite a while. And then there is Kyoko Matsuzaki who is Makoto’s second cousin who purposely moved next door because I guess Makoto’s mom wants a grandchild… As Yura watches a documentary, suddenly Makoto comes in and f*cks her!!! From the back! This beats the TV show, right?! You bet the neighbours can hear! The Yabukis invite the duo for a trip to Hokkaido. Kyoko wants to come but apparently it’s only for couples. Yeah, she wants to go so bad that she pays for the airfare herself. On the plane, as Makoto goes to the toilet, suddenly Kyoko comes in and wants him to f*ck her. OMFG. Did he not lock the door?! OMFG! HE F*CKS HER!!! CHEATER!!! Turns out it’s just Kyoko’s dream. While the married couples have fun at Hokkaido, they take care not to flirt too much so as not to offend Kyoko. WTF?! Being single that’s her business, right?! Takeshi asks Makoto if he wants to go to the unisex bath. Sounds tempting but Makoto thinks there are only old ladies. Then WTF he enters the bath and all the naked ladies welcome him!!! Harem time?! You’ve guessed it, just his delusion. That night, Makoto wants to have sex with Yura. Won’t that bother the neighbours? Have quiet sex then. Even if Yura is gagged, she still makes some noise and the neighbours of course could hear. Well, at least this makes the Yabukis want to try out. How long has it been since their last sex… Next day, they bump into Goro and Kaoru. Looks like they are childhood friends who are soon going to get married. They live in the same section of the inn as them. WTF Kaoru notes about Yura’s huge boobs since she herself has small boobs?! It doesn’t matter the size as long as you love them, right?! No delusions this time as we see the ladies naked in the sauna and Kyoko groping over Yura’s boobs. When everyone gathers to drink, suddenly they all get drunk and start stripping. WTF they agree to an orgy and swap partners!!! OMFG!!! FOR REAL?! Yeah, trolled ‘ya. Just Makoto’s delusions. Phew. Don’t want to let Yura get f*cked by other guys, huh?! Then in the outdoor hotspring, Makoto and Yura notice Goro and Kaoru f*cking each other. Masterfully! Would’ve been a great eye opener had not for the steam. Hence that night, they try it out themselves. Score another one right there. On their way back, Makoto and Yura hope to come here again but by themselves. Kyoko must be feeling so frustrated and left out, time to get a partner of her own?

Episode 4
Makoto splurges and lets Yura buy some expensive clothes. Now he needs to save on lunch, right? Just kidding! Next day, Makoto is shocked as Yura is dressed as a waitress. Apparently she wants to try working as one. Makoto fears that kind of job will have perverts looking at her and in the end, she’ll leave him because there’s no more love. Yura will not do it if he doesn’t want to. But he didn’t outright say no so… Makoto asks Makie for advice so she talks about how girls want to cosplay. Then she proceeds to cosplay and tease him. Miyuki too?! PLEASE SAY THAT THIS IS A DREAM! Meanwhile Rika heads to her boyfriend’s place. His parents aren’t in so he wants to f*ck her. She has to do it because of some slave ticket she gave him last Christmas and now she must make do her promise. Yup, Rika has to cosplay and then give him blowjobs before he f*cks her. It is Yura’s first day at work and you bet those men are staring at how cute she is. Makoto is also here. Worried. See how all those perverts are looking at her? Defend her chastity! Just don’t get in her way of work, okay? Back in office, Makoto does some cosplay simulation on his wife. Noticing the air stewardess outfit looks good, hence his fantasy as he f*cks her at thousands of feet in the air! Can we call this Skyrim?! HAHAHA!!! Luckily he snaps out of it before he climaxes. Then Makie sees this. Awkward. When Rika visits the diner, Yura can tell Makoto has asked her to keep an eye on him. Spot on. Then Yura has to work overtime so Makoto comes back home alone. Not quite, there’s Kyoko to accompany him. He talks to her about his worries and she knows he is jealous. Despite all, Yura is still a girl and wants to dress up and look good. When Yura comes home, Makoto talks to her and feels bad that it shows he didn’t trust her at all. But don’t worry, their hearts will always be connected, right? And so Yura makes tonight’s dinner extra special as she dons the waitress outfit. I guess Makoto prefers to eat her! Best main course ever! After another great sex, Yura says she’ll quit her job since she wants to make their home a relaxing place for Makoto after he comes back from work. Okay. Just keep the sex coming, we’ll be alright!

Futari Ecchi (2014)

Oh wow. 10 years later, a sequel?! Well, you sure kept fans waiting long enough for another round of sex, huh?! After 10 years, will that horny flame of love still burn so ferociously? I bet it is.

Episode 1
We see Yura attending many marriage interviews. None of the men interests her until Makoto of course. Then we see fast snippets of them dating and eventually he proposed to her. Oh well, he tripped and kissed her. Then fast snippets of their marriage and even their first sex! So we got that flashback out of the way, it’s time to spend their first Christmas together. Yura will be cooking a great Christmas dinner so you bet that’s Makoto’s motivation to come home early. However it starts to rain, his handphone battery is dead and can’t call his wife, he accidentally drops the present and some cyclist runs over it. What a bad Christmas. This has him flashback to his single days on Christmas. Either he has to work late or he is watching porn. Oh damn, porn froze at the climaxing moment! I guess he can’t use those tissues… Bad Christmas indeed. So now he thinks it’s going to be the same. Yura thought he is back but turns out to be Rika. So she’s just using her place to freshen up before her next date?! And she got the gall to say that Makoto might be cheating on her since he cannot be contacted?! Well, Yura believes in him as she waits patiently. And off Rika goes to her next date. Finally when Yura thinks of picking him up from the rain, there he is outside. All wet and miserable. It’s the end of the world. But after he has shower and all, Yura keeps the Christmas spirit flowing with all the positivism. Christmas is still on. Yes, don’t let it be a bad Christmas. Let’s create good memories. Good memories it will be because the best Christmas present to have now is sex in the living room! Oh yeah! It’s going to be Unholy Night! Christmas is saved!!! Makoto then gives her a ring as present. Likewise, Yura has a hand knitted sweater for him. It gets more romantic as it snows outside. This means round 2 of sex?! Oh boy, best Christmas ever! If only every day could be Christmas!

Episode 2
Wow. Makoto keep kissing Yura, at this rate he’ll be late for work! Another one for the road! Another one!!! Well, newly moved in neighbour and high school girl, Rui Tsutsumi sees this. But she just ignores and goes to school. At school, it seems her friends have a field day gossiping about several relationships going on. In the end, they believe men are the problem. Snippets of Rui’s life and WTF she gets raped by her dad?! Oh, just a dream. One day as Rui has problems paying at the store, Yura is there to help her. They chat as Yura learns she lives with her single dad. She wants to know what it’s like being married. Since a single opinion won’t do, Yura takes her to see other married women who live in the same block. Yeah, all sharing their wild sexual fantasies. Like Momo Kubota having really wild sex with her husband. The petite Shouko Shiina is an erotic novelist so you bet she tested some wild S&M moves with her husband. Finally Narumi Ogata isn’t actually married but a mistress. You bet all kinds of dicks has entered her. HAHAHA!!! Are they trying to put wild ideas in this young lady?! No wonder Rui doesn’t feel so good… So now the rest want to hear Yura’s wild time with Makoto but I guess enough of sex today as she tells how kind a person he is. Boring! One day, Rui sprains her leg while training. Makoto helps carry her home. Her worried father got the wrong idea he did something to her but after Rui scolds him and explains everything, father apologizes. Yura receives a package from mom. So they have no place to put her old clothes and shipped it to her? Yeah, her old high school uniform excites Makoto because it’s time to cosplay and f*ck! Here’s today’s sex for us! What if they met in high school, would it be different? Nah. They’ll still be the same. The sex, that is. Rui hangs out with her friends and as usual, more gossiping. However they are shocked that Rui believes as long as there is love, it’ll be okay. Yeah, she’s not going to be misandrist b*tches like you! Rui has changed! All thanks to love! Now if only sex could make better that opinion…

Episode 3
Looks like Makoto is going to have to stay late and work overtime due to the company having a special fashion lingerie event. Yeah… Because of some unprepared incident, the lady boss and the boss will have to sort things out. This means Miyuki has a chance to be with her tutor, right? Yup, time to see flashback snippets when he was tutoring her. Don’t worry, nothing sexual happened. Meanwhile, colleagues Suzuka Takahashi trying to ask Yosaku Inagaki if he has affairs with other females in the office. Of course he denies. When Makoto thinks he can finish things up by himself, Miyuki takes it as she is not needed. Needless to say, she isn’t impressed. She wants to stay with him and an accident has him trip all over him. As he says he is still always looking after her, she is overcome with emotions. Yeah, more tutoring flashbacks. Such good times. At this point, the bosses come back so they have to get ready for the show. But it hits another obstacle because the models have not arrived and was Makoto was supposed to be in charge of something? I don’t know, he tries to take responsibility and will try to salvage the impossible. Otherwise he’ll resign! Gasp! He didn’t say that but I know that is what he is implying. With that, Miyuki decides to be the model. Because the boss will pay special bonus, the other girls jump in. Heck, thank goodness this company’s girls are all hot and sexy. Even the lady boss. So the lucky guys get to see their female colleagues strut their stuff on the catwalk in lingerie. Yeah… The event is a success and everyone celebrates at a restaurant. Miyuki’s chances of getting closer to Makoto blown as Yura is here to celebrate too. Party is over. I don’t know, is their home too far because we see them stop by a love hotel. Ah yes, time to shake things up. WTF we see other couples making out too?! Like the boss and lady boss, despite the latter badmouthing and criticizing him, she still wants him to f*ck her harder!!! Also, Takahashi wants to take their relationship to the next level so how the f*ck did she end up f*cking Inagaki?! Still get his name wrong in the end, huh? Really sucks when you’re having sex with the wrong name called… Of course, our main stars, Makoto and Yura. With some lingerie as presents, Makoto gets to have Yura wear them before their love making session. And poor Miyuki drinking alone. Did she lose out on this?

Step Up Sex Story: With Great Sex-pectations Comes Great Sex-perience
Ugh. Not sure if in another 10 years they will do another surprise sequel. Well, a couple of years more and we shall see. Especially with that cliff-hanger about Miyuki and her wavering or unwavering feelings, will that forever be left hanging as an unresolved issue? But otherwise, watching this old ecchi series sure does ring some of those vibes when I used to watch those pseudo hentai animes. At least for the first season. I don’t know if it is a good or bad thing because at the end of it all, it wasn’t the most mind blowing experience for me either. It’s not exactly watching porn either but that great satisfaction wasn’t there. Well, duh. How can you beat the real physical sex! Okay, okay. What I’m trying to say is that I was expecting something out of this but looks like the series fell short of it and hence although I am not truly disappointed, I wished that it could’ve been better if it was just a little.

Although I wasn’t hoping for any sort of solid storyline, each episode feels a lot episodic and standalone from each other. After all, the ‘motivation’ to watch each episode is to see Makoto and Yura end up having sex, right? Heck, isn’t that why we watch this? What else are we to expect? Just sprinkle a bit of variety like in different locations or outfits but at the end of the day, our loving couples will keep their (horny) love burning with great sex. Well, so far so good. After all that practising, I suppose Makoto’s premature ejaculation is solved. Or at least Makoto is such a lucky guy to have a very understanding wife to help him overcome that problem. Sounds like porn logic no matter how…

Honesty, I feel that the first season is way better than the sequel in many ways. Firstly, the sex. Watching the first season does remind me of those fake seasonal anime hentai that I watched. Seeing Makoto going down on Yura from caressing-cum-sucking her boobs right down to penetrating her. The only difference why this isn’t really classified the same as those pseudo hentai (personally) is because they don’t show the genitals. Yup, no mosaic blurred out censors during sex. Although we get to see free bare tits, the crotch area for both man and woman aren’t shown. So I figure with that, there was no need for any censorship and hence not really even hentai. Just a big ecchi genre at most. However the sex scenes in the sequel is very paltry. Shambles. A shame. Because they feel a lot like slide presentations with minimal animation. Hardly anything stimulating. Like as though they don’t really want to offend because this isn’t entirely hentai so they held back a lot. As good as if they aren’t shown but because sex sells, they had to and thus this weird combo in between. Yeah, they downgraded the sex part, which is a big sin for a show in this genre. Of course bear in mind that this isn’t really hentai so no porn level sex scenes.

Then there is the animation style. 10 years is a long time for things to change so it is obvious Production Reed (Isekai Wa Smartphone To Tomo Ni, Ultra Maniac) took over from Chaos Project (Happy Lesson, Comic Party Revolution). The sequel might have updated visuals but it makes Yura look a whole lot weirder. Yes, Yura looks f*cking weird than the retro Yura. So much so if I wonder if she is the same character! But maybe it’s the same pussy. HAHAHA! Just kidding! Even Miyuki feels a bit downgraded since she looks a lot simpler than her original when she first appeared. Makoto who looks so plain in the first, it’s no different he looks the same in the sequel. Still plain as ever. Haha! Overall, it feels like the animation quality for the sequel got downgraded a little. But I suppose other than the sex, seeing these cute ladies in lingerie is supposed to distract our minds and cloud our judgment? Well then, enjoy.

For a short and episodic series, they sure introduced a hell lot of other minor characters. Many whom only appear for 1 episode and that’s it. You wonder why the heck they need to do this when they don’t even matter at all. But my theory is that with other characters, it won’t be completely a bore fest and all the episodes just focus on Makoto and Yura all the time. Though, it still feels a lot redundant. Perhaps the OVAs are just introductory since the manga I am guessing would have fleshed them out even more (and of course, more seemingly explicit ecchi scenes – just Google it!). So for instance we are introduced to Makoto’s cousin Kyoko who did no bat sh*t nothing. At least nothing of anything importance (that advice felt so normal, it didn’t just count). Yeah, just that single scene to troll us that Makoto shagged his cousin in the plane. But anything more than that, seeing all the couples having free access to sex, Kyoko better make up her mind quick about finding a partner.

Then you have Rui (starting her young?) and the other wives of the block just for the sake of variety. Sex is sex but different strokes for different folks. Even more mind blowing in the final episode of the sequel, suddenly they throw us a couple of new relationships and then blam! Suddenly they’re having sex like mad in the end. Like, WTF?! What was that all about?! Why the heck do we even need those characters at all?! Well, well. Variety is the spice of life. Unless you’re a hardcore fan, you’re not going to watch the same porn star forever, RIGHT???!!! Yeah… But then again, who would ever come to an ecchi series and hope for character development, RIGHT???!!!

There’s nothing more I can say about Makoto and Yura. They love each other just like any other newlyweds who will forever be in love with each other till the end of time. Of course this time they are different than many other anime couples because we get to see them engage in sex. It’s one of those big factors that keep their flame burning a whole lot alive. Yeah, it’s like saying that a happy marriage like them means access to free sex so you can throw away all your porn material and not even waste money on prostitutes! YEAH! Sex is the key to happiness and everlasting marriage?! Don’t forget to add understanding to that because in a way it’s trying to guilt trip some of us with premature ejaculation but if you have a loving and understanding wife, you’ll get by. So see the duo rack up experience every night and lose their virgin status to sex experts! Sexperts!!! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… Hey, it could’ve totally been a different ball game if Makoto had ED!

Rika could’ve been an interesting one if her character had been given some screen time to be explored. After all, she is a dating veteran and expert having multiple boyfriends! Not sure that as concurrently or she is constantly having new ones. Because it makes me wonder if she is only in for the sex. Once her old boyfriend can’t satisfy her or if either one of them gets bored, they break off and then she goes to find a new one. I bet she’ll be easy because which guy doesn’t want to go down on a cute girl like her. Since she has so many sexual partners, it begs the question if she will be okay for marriage. Imagine if her future husband finds out that a lot of different guys have been insider of her… Then she might play this card: Of all the guys I’ve f*cked, you’re the best!!! HAHAHA!!! Simultaneously a winner and a loser! Sighs…

Last and not least, Miyuki. Aside Rika, she is the only other supporting character that recurs more than once. That cliff-hanger ending in the sequel leaves a lot to be desired. But as I have pointed out, it serves as a good point for another sequel should anybody think it would be a good time to adapt more episodes. Her first appearance to try and seduce Makoto in the hotel room looks ‘promising’. But her second time in the sequel felt more like nothing burger. The mini scandal I thought might happen did not materialize. Netorare, if you didn’t catch my drift! Isn’t that why they distract us with those other unrelated relationships? Thank goodness the loyalty in Makoto is strong. Now imagine had he given in, would Yura allow a twosome? Or threesome with Rika? A wife, her sister and his ex-student! WOW!!! This is definitely hentai material. And then poof! Suddenly all just Makoto’s imagination! Damn, I’m good at this…

Another difference between the first season and sequel is the latter changed the entire cast completely. Well, I guess this partly makes sense because Tomoko Kawakami who was the voice of Yura passed on in 2011. HOLY SH*T! YOU MEAN IT’S ALREADY BEEN OVER 10 YEARS!!! Wow. Do I feel old and time flew by so fast just thinking about this. So I suppose they had to replace her with Ayumi Tsunematsu. Instead of changing 1 character, might as well change the rest too. So Makoto who was done by Yuuji Ueda got replaced by Yuuichi Nakamura, Rika had Naoko Takano replaced with Chiwa Saitou, Iori Nomizu replaced Yuu Asakawa as Miyuki and Shiisaku Shirakawa replacing Kappei Yamaguchi as Rika’s boyfriend.

The other minor factor I find the first season better than the sequel is the ending theme. The first season’s Sync by Sanae Shintani has that jazzy and lively feel. It may not be the best but at least it is fun and bearable in its own right. For the sequel the ending theme as well as the many insert songs are sung by The Zig Zags. All of them sound weird!!! Just hear the ending theme, Hana Hirari. This slow song is littered with weird heavy bass drop beats. Worse, the singer herself sounds weird. Supposed to be romantic but it comes off as weird. Even the other insert songs too. It mostly feels that her voice is disjointed from the music. Like they just paste her voice over the music or something like that. And yeah, not to mention those heavy bass plucking. Is that the trademark of the music for this series?

For the record, there were live action drama and movies of this series. In fact, it started out as a 3 episode TV drama back in 2000 before the adapted anime came out in 2002. Then a 12 episode live action web series one back in 2011. And then there were like 4 different movies that came out between 2011 and 2012. Oh heck, there was a very recent movie that came out in 2019. Wow. I didn’t watch it but I guess it was really hot enough for them to spur so many sequels. It’s like the guilty pleasure of getting to watch something sexy but without fully resorting to porn. On a very trivial and personal note, doesn’t the recent live 3D version of Yura look f*cking weird and ugly!!! HONEST!!! When you have the promotional poster of the characters in their undies and posing… Even Makoto… Yeah, and all the other movie promotional posters of sexy Yura, it feels more like a porn cover… Damn, could be mistaken to be one too if you’re not extra careful!

Overall, this series is a mixed baggage. It’s like you’re stuck in between something that is porn but not really porn. So, soft porn? It’s hard not to look at this series as one about sex. After all, this is what this series is supposed to be, right? I mean, if you look at it from another perspective, the plot in its simplest explanation would be about a young couple trying to bond and love each other. But the sex always get in the way and that’s how we’ll always see it. Worse, all the other characters are in one way sex maniacs because they either f*ck or get screwed. I guess sex really sells, huh? No wonder the manga is the most famous how-to guide with a story in Japan. Yeah, not surprising with all the herbivore men, they’ll need some ‘proper’ and ‘wholesome’ guidance. Heh. And I thought porn could do the job but I guess that is only for singles. Looks like we’re going to need a hell lot more of that.

Megami-ryou No Ryoubou-kun

7 November, 2021

Remember the last time we had an anime about a boy who goes to live in a dorm filled with girls? And then lots of sexual innuendoes and hijinks ensued? Well, if you missed Sunohara-sou No Kanrinnin-san (admit it, it was just those huge tits from the dorm lady you missed, RIGHT?!), be glad to know that this season has something of that similar sort. However this time, Megami-ryou No Ryoubou-kun, we make the young boy the dorm manager, or rather dorm mother in this case because you know, the rest of the dorm’s occupants are hot sexy young adult females and some with really questionable personality of the erotic and lewd kind. Yeah. Can you see where all this is going? Enjoy.

Episode 1A
OMG! We’re starting off with tits in our faces?! Whose tits are those that Koushi Nagumo stumbles upon?! Flashback shows when his house got burnt down, his father instead of helping, ran away. Koushi was left to fend for himself. I see he got no relatives. Damn, not even the public wants to help a starving kid collapsed on the ground! Until Mineru Wachi picks him up. Yeah, pantsu in his face. Hope that is not what he wants to eat. She brings him back to her place to feed him and because he is dirty, she tells him to go bathe. And that’s where those glorious tits come. In his embarrassment, he runs away but bumps into Atena Saotome who just returned. Now sure how the f*ck he ends up under her skirt and his face on her crotch! Because of that, Atena nose bleeds and is close to death! Koushi is then explained this is Goddess Dorm for Seikan Women’s University and others who reside here are Kiriya Senshou, Frey, Serene Houzumi and Atena. Mineru is the interim dorm mother. After Koushi tells his story, Mineru offers him to stay and work here as a dorm mother. He will have a place to stay and will be paid. Problems solved. Except for one. They have to convince Atena. Because she refuses, she then moves out. Koushi then hears that Atena has problem with men. Being raised in a predominantly women household and went to an all-girls school, she has practically zero skills when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. The last dorm that she was in, her roommate brought her boyfriend back and she caught them having sex. Yeah, it was devastating. Mineru thought Koushi would be right for the job since he might help solve her problem. However Koushi doesn’t want her to become homeless just because he moved in and won’t take her place. Thus he won’t accept the job and will let her remain while he’ll find his luck somewhere. Of course after all that he has said, Atena feels guilty and later sees him sleeping at the park and goes to carry him back. Koushi wakes up but accidentally gropes her boobs. Nose bleed time. Now it’s her turn to carry her back. Because he finds her brave trying to confront her fears, he too will try to confront his. Hence he will accept this job.

Episode 1B
As Koushi sweeps outside, he hears by-passers speaking ill that this is a problem dorm. He brushes it all off and returns inside to clean the rooms. Damn, it’s a pig sty! Worse, Mineru is half naked and she is so because as a researcher, it helps he work. Damn excuse for fanservice but whatever! Koushi is already so exhausted facing this when he is kidnapped into Frey’s room. Turns out she is a cosplay maniac and finds him a suitable male model for all the clothes she makes. So much so she has this habit of kidnapping people on the fly if she finds them perfect just to put her clothes on them! Call it an excuse for a dorm mother’s job but we call it fanservice because Koushi is made to measure her bust! Is this sexual harassment? Nah! Cherry boy gets so embarrassed that he slips so as to give us a cliché fanservice of huge melons over his face. But before things get steamier, Mineru has everyone clear the area because her experiment failed and toxic fumes are flowing out! Outside, when Mineru brushes off this is okay because she never got sued, Koushi scolds her what if she hurts somebody. They apologize but Koushi feels embarrassed for yelling back and runs away? They’re not even mad. Yeah, now he has to contend with women trying to take pictures of him in this cosplay outfit. He returns to cover them up but they continue to flirt with him. Just in time as Atena returns and sees this unholy activity. Hence she has a meeting with all of them and decides to become a moral police to prevent such activities. So these sticks to block out tits are going to do the job? No wonder Koushi can’t help laugh. Despite how it looks, things aren’t so bad around here. Well, until he gets a taste of sexual harassment!

Episode 2A
Mineru has completed a potion to be tested on men… Can you see where this is going? And Frey has completed a new dress for Koushi too. But it won’t be them who will usurp Koushi tonight. Kiriya comes crashing down into his room. Yeah, her crotch in his face. Turns out she loves reading shoujo manga but gets too emotional and becomes physically violent. Now you know why her room has punch marks everywhere. I guess she needs to sleep in his room for fear she will fall through the hole. Whatever. She isn’t worried about him being a guy since she has brothers. That night, she wants to talk to him since he reminds her of her brothers. Apparently her way of talking is doing wrestling submission moves on him! Oh yeah. The nostalgia. Is she trying to kill him?! But he isn’t mad and hopes the girls here would be mindful of themselves. He is a guy and you know the rest. After all, all of them are cute girls. He decides to go sleep in her room. Kiriya so flustered by his words, hope she doesn’t destroy his room. That night, Serene visits Kiriya’s room but finds it is Koushi. If he agrees to be her servant, she can help repair the damage via lunar technology. Sleepy Koushi says whatever. She kisses him and then works her magic… Next morning, the place is repaired like as though no damage was done in the first place. Koushi isn’t sure how but vaguely remembers about last time. Was it Serene? Man, that was a weird dream.

Episode 2B
As Koushi makes breakfast and all the other girls are so friendly with him, Atena thinks something must have happened while she was away. Even Serene is trusting him. So when Koushi is going to go shopping for ingredients, Atena wants to come along to see for herself how he won over them. Can she hold her nose bleed when Mineru naughtily pushes Koushi into her boobs? Well, she’s trying… Even in town she is having a hard time trying to evade men. Yeah, sneak around like a suspicious person… After doing their shopping, Koushi praises her for being brave as normally people would run away. Technically she is running away but to Koushi, she is facing it head on. Atena feels good about his words and suddenly realizes perhaps this is how he won over others. As she is about to bump into a couple of guys, she can’t hold her nose bleed any longer so Koushi thinks quick and pretends to be her brother and takes her away. Back home, he thought she is mad but actually she loves the idea of him calling her as his big sister. Call me that again! Damn, she is getting orgasms every time he calls her that! Brainless fanservice time because somehow she tripped on her own skirt to reveal her panties, her flustering causes her butt to bump into his face many times before sitting on it. How is it that Koushi doesn’t have the nose bleed but it is Atena? During dinner, with the rest continue to flirt with him and spamming boobs in his face, Atena once again plays the moral police but this time adds she will be his big sister to protect him from all the lewdness. The other girls are also impressed and wants to be called his big sister. So Atena is fine with this? Well, as long as no lusty stuffs.

Episode 3A
Now we can check off another prank off the list. Mineru teasing Koushi as he does the laundry for the ladies. Yeah. Later, all the girls have this idea of competing to see who can be Koushi’s best big sister. Frey dresses him up as a girl and claims little brothers are their playthings. Obviously a lie so she’s out. Mineru wants to use him as a guinea pig. Nope. Serene lies on his lap and wants to be fed. That’s what pets do. Kiriya does a wrestling submission move. Is there any such move resembling the 69? You bet Koushi is passed out. All that is left as Atena. She looks like playing a motherly role but unconscious Koushi accidentally exposes her boobs. Her nose bleed floods his face. So I guess in the end, all of them are his big sisters, huh? Yeah well, big sister Mineru has a big surprise for him. She has done something that will allow Koushi to go back to school next week. Wow. She must have pulled some strings, right? Oh well, just be glad Koushi is going to resume his normal life again.

Episode 3B
Koushi is happily back at school but that soon comes to a crashing halt when Sutea Koroya does a flying kick on him! She is mad he never told her his whereabouts and was worried. Obviously Sutea is a tsundere. Twintails check. But not blonde! Haha. Anyway, despite being a jerk to Koushi, she regrets it deep down inside. Poor Koushi thinks she hates him and tries to find time to talk to her but his other friends and teacher keep bugging him. When it is recess and he has the chance, he grabs her hand but she tells him to f*ck off. He realizes he forgot about her condition. Sutea eats alone at the rooftop as she remembers her relationship with him. They go all the way back to kindergarten. She has this condition that she cannot handle heat very well. Even another person’s body heat is enough to make her feel woozy. So it was evident she sat out by herself when all the other kids were playing together. Koushi invited her but she declined. Then he came up with a solution by washing his hands with ice and touching her cheeks with them. There. Feel better? I guess that’s when the tsundere started. She still remembers this feeling of his hands over her cheeks. Koushi returns and does the same with his ice packs from his lunch because apparently she has been spacing out so much, she is now sitting in the sun. It is then he accidentally reveals about the dorm he lives in. Back to being Queen Sutea, she wants to know all the details. Yeah, it’s like his fault or something. She wants to visit the dorm but he refuses. A struggle ensues and he falls over her. Not sure how the f*ck her clothes opened up. Yeah, your fanservice cue. You think she will beat him up but wrong! She puts his hand on her chest and says she too wanted to save him. And then she kicks him away! She follows him home and there’s nothing to be afraid of if he has not done anything wrong. Yup, he hasn’t so why should he feel guilty? Yeah, those boobs must be the wrong ones… Sutea’s first taste of what this dorm is about as Mineru and Frey being half naked run out due to another experiment failure. Oh hi Koushi!

Episode 4A
Now, how to explain to Sutea about this dorm? Koushi warns the ladies about Sutea’s condition. But since he himself is being too close to her, she kicks him. Because she is seen blushing and regretting that kick, Mineru and Frey get the idea. They ‘warn’ Atena about her rival but she doesn’t get it. And then they argue about being his big sister so Sutea tells them to STFU because she will judge herself if this dorm is appropriate. Who made her the big shot? Appropriate is not a word that exists in this dorm! First she looks at Koushi’s room. Pretty normal. But with Atena praising Koushi, Sutea’s caution meter rises. Is she jealous? Next is Mineru. Hope those toxic fumes are gone. Whoops. Still there! Next is Frey. All okay until Frey tries to force strip Sutea and put on some clothes. Thanks to Atena, rape didn’t happen. Well, that’s 2 strikes already. Next is Atena’s room. So clean and pretty that it is so normal! Disappointed? But with Koushi praising her, this is what sets Sutea’s caution meter rising back to dangerous levels. Kiriya shows hers next. As usual, all normal until she reads a love scene and gets so embarrassed, she punches the wall. Serene instantly calms her down with a cookie. Oops. Expired. Damn, her meter might explode at this rate! To redeem themselves, the ladies have Sutea stay here. Obviously she picks Atena’s room as the safest but is still cautious of her. Atena tries to talk to her but Sutea is troubled that she thought she knew everything about Koushi. What exactly is their relationship with him? Then they hear Koushi and Kiriya scream. Arriving at the bathroom, WTF Koushi on top of Kiriya?! They’re docking?! Well of course, Koushi was getting out and wasn’t focusing. Kiriya came in and the floor was slippery. You do the math. In the end, Sutea claims all this is unfair. Because they act like they are older but get flustered. So which is it? Kiriya is a bit slow on the take but she too understands what Sutea means and blushes along with the rest. Sutea runs away. Uhm, that’s it?

Episode 4B
A few days later, because of that incident, Kiriya and Atena are spacing out. Hence they head to university forgetting their bento. Koushi needs to bring it to them so Frey has an idea. Yup, dress him up as a girl! Even right down to the pantsu! Embarrassed Koushi makes his way there. He bumps into several girls. From the way he talks, they can figure Koushi is a guy. They don’t care because he is so cute they want to spoil him! He bumps into Atena while running away from them. She recognizes him and takes him away under the pretence they are sisters. Atena didn’t nose bleed. Because Koushi is dressed like a girl? So it’s all in the mind? After giving her bento, they need to find Kiriya. Well, don’t need to. They bump into her while carrying water and yeah, they all get wet. They change in the room and because those girls are still looking for the little cutie, Koushi has to hide with them while changing. Yeah. Fanservice cue. Don’t look, Koushi. Let your imagination run wild as Kiriya undresses Atena and then make her wear her dress since she has extra. Yeah, too tight around the chest area. Uh huh. It’s like her boobs want to bust out and spring loose those buttons! I swear, those boobs have a mind of its own… Glorious tits fanservice for Koushi but with Atena realizing too late her boobs too close to his face, now she nose bleeds. Back at the dorm, Mineru hints that Koushi has been worried for them as they’ve been acting strange since. Atena claims that she just had a lot on her mind. She shows them pamphlets of Okinawa. She suggests all of them go on a vacation for summer break and invite Sutea too.

Episode 5A
When Serene retreats to her room, Koushi goes to find out if she is against the trip. Since this is his first time in her room, it looks like a big dumpster. Trash everywhere. But she claims it isn’t trash but some power cultivating thingy from the moon. Yeah. Whatever. But this has Koushi believing that night was real since Serene didn’t outright deny it. It seems Serene isn’t against the trip. She has only been on the grounds of this dorm and the university since those places are where the moon power reaches. Hence, she feels unsafe stepping out onto unfamiliar territory. Hence Koushi brainstorms with the other girls to find some sort of lunar related thingy that would make Serene feel at ease. It’s like trying to bring along her safe zone. At school, Koushi asks Sutea about the vacation. She agrees to come. But that’s only to supervise him! Frey makes Sailormoon cosplay outfit for Serene. Geddit? There’s your moon factor! Of course some public decency law thingy has Serene reject it. Mineru tries her fumes that will make you obey her. Too bad Frey smelled it and now we get some sexy hot yuri stuff! Kiriya tries to teach taichi because the moon is part of the universe. However Serene fails because she is only for the moon and the universe is too big to handle! Eventually, Atena gives her an umbrella with a design of a starry night sky and the moon. Hey, if this works, why not just give her a picture of the moon?! Koushi also takes the liberty to sew back her torn jersey, putting Serene very at ease. With that, they’re ready for the trip.

Episode 5B
The vacation spot will be some haunted inn up in the mountains?! Atena in despair because she booked the wrong place due to the similar name. So they have some fun with the sightseeing. Koushi trying to cheer Atena up with the stairs that probably lead to some power spot. Uhm, looks freaking haunted! Kiriya gets scared and hugs all over Koushi. Don’t look now but something is way scarier than a ghost: It’s Sutea exacting her punishment! Not forgetting the hotspring hijinks whereby in order to prevent the ladies from indecently showing off to Koushi, she herself got indecent and knocked him out. That night, Koushi can’t sleep. How can he when all the boobs are surrounding him! Noticing Atena going out, Koushi and Mineru decide to investigate why. However they start to experience some supernatural stuffs. The corridor seems to be endless… Koushi thought Mineru disappeared for a moment. WTF Mineru trying to flirt with him at this moment but manages to hold herself back. Koushi sees Atena coming out from a room. She was looking for a toilet but got lost. I mean, time and space lost sense. Spooky? When they see a spooky apparition, they hide in a storeroom. Atena trying hard not to nose bleed because she is trying to work hard to show how much she has improved. She vows to protect him this time. Mood right for them to kiss but busted by Mineru. What you guys doing? That spooky apparition is not surprisingly Serene who sensed some distortion in the time and space so she went to investigate. Yeah, some lunar related thingy again. Whatever. Glad it is no biggie. With their trip in this inn ended, now it’s time for the next and real part of the trip: The beach! Oh yeah!

Episode 6A
Glorious boobs! Bouncy boobs! And those asses! OH YEAH! No wonder Sutea looks jealous. Even more so, noticing that Koushi is staring at those busty babes. Actually, he is playing the lifeguard. But the way he is staring through his binoculars to keep watch on them gives the wrong impression. A few fish nibble on Sutea’s feet. WTF one of the fish ended up in her crotch area and got stuck?! This causes Sutea to struggle and Koushi thought she was drowning. Slowpoke Koushi tries to go to her rescue but it is Kiriya who ended up doing so. On land, Sutea says she wasn’t drowning but can’t say the real reason either. Until Kiriya points out that it was Koushi who noticed Sutea first and sought her help to save her. You see, Koushi can’t swim. The others learn about this but give him great compliments. However, this makes Koushi feel even more depressed. Sutea apologizes to Kiriya for the mean things she said at the dorm. She also thanks her for saving her. Kiriya would love to hug her but we know her condition. But why does she still keep her long hair? That’s because Koushi’s first love is their preschool teacher so she’s just imitating her hairstyle. When Koushi returns, he sees Atena being harassed by guys. Time to man up. Get away from her! Who this kid? Atena says he is her brother. Haha. No effect. Scram ototo-kun. But Koushi gets aggressive as he takes Atena’s hands and go away, claiming he is her dorm mother. Those guys sure confused after hearing that. Despite Atena being grateful, Koushi just continues to feel depress. Sutea then goes to apologize to Atena like how she did for Kiriya. She laments she wasn’t able to help him. Likewise, Atena understands how she feels because she too is the same since it was Mineru and Frey who has been supporting Koushi the most ever since he lives here. Beach trip over. Going back home. Oh, Koushi still having that long face?

Episode 6B
Yup. Still that long face back home and spacing out. So much so Frey has him accompany her to a cosplay house. Do you want to dress yourself or should Frey dress you up? Hmm… Koushi not in a female outfit? Something is up… As they cosplay characters from a trending mobile game, they also have to pose and be in character. So uhm, both characters are related and in love with each other? But no cheap sleazy fanservice moments here. Because they have to be in character, this has Frey seriously asking him what has been bugging him. She wants Koushi to unleash his feelings. So as they do this mock battle, Koushi reveals the recent stuffs that happened during the trip. He should be feeling happy but didn’t. Frey believes that he views himself as a man but when the real deal comes, he chickens out. Basically he is feeling all confused because the tenants of the dorm are all females. It just feels awkward. He doesn’t want to lose everything so he pretended all that didn’t bother him as he wanted to stay with them. Frey understands he doesn’t want their relationship strained. She reveals her past self whereby she was blunt and outspoken. She hurt others because of that. She made some mistakes but hope one day everyone would see her for who she is and then perhaps she’ll discover a new love that’s different from what she is used to. Koushi isn’t still 100% sure of what to do but at least he feels better now and decided to be clear and confident about his feelings.

Episode 7
Seikan has its own cultural festival. So be glad that Koushi doesn’t have to cross-dress to enter. As Frey is part of the committee, she takes Koushi and Sutea to a shady tent run by Mineru. Yeah, she is selling illegal potions! Of course when the other committee members try to apprehend her, she runs away. Frey brings them to the occult club whereby they are talking about capturing the elusive creature known as Serene! When they think she is spotted near a stall, they go into action to capture her! You bet Koushi needs to stop this or they’ll dissect her! But once the reach outside, everywhere is covered with pink mist and everyone making out with each other! OMG! I didn’t know this was a yuri fest!!! We can all guess it is Mineru’s potion, right? Yup, while running away, she dropped her aphrodisiac bottles. One of the occult members turn out to be the woman whom Koushi met when he cross-dressed. She finds him familiar. It doesn’t help when Frey puts on the wig. It is about to get worse because with all the mist covering the area, all the women are now targeting Koushi! Sutea tries to shoo them away but she too becomes a victim. Damn, the biggest orgy festival in Japan???!!! But thanks to Serene using some beam from the moon, the mist is gone and everyone returns to normal. So they don’t remember the yuri time? With Serene using lots of her power, she is exhausted as Koushi accompanies her at the infirmary. She hints that she needs more than food for her to recover. Uhm, physical contact? Luckily before the worst happens, Frey buys her some food.

Frey brings them to a maid café where Atena is working. She thought of doing this practice to get over her men phobia but it is harder than it looks. Even more so seeing Koushi and gang here. But she is hanging in there. When a couple of guys want to hit on her, Koushi thinks of going to protect her but sees her declining them. See, she too is putting in the effort herself. Atena’s maid comrades think she wants to spend time with Koushi and allow her to go tour the place with him. But what about manpower (or maidpower?)? Weren’t they short of it? Don’t worry, Frey has got it covered. Because here is Sutea looking very lovely in a maid outfit ready to serve! Atena and Koushi go see a cross-dressing contest. Girls cross-dressing as guys. Kiriya won! Damn, she is so popular that even Atena is falling for her?! Koushi feels stuffy and drinks water from his bag. But he realizes it is Mineru’s potion! What is this effect of unmasking yourself? At the backstage, Kiriya invites them to go to some maze. Koushi excitedly wants to go! Is this the effect? See him get excited and hyped up like a kid each time they’re going to do something. In the maze, the ladies thought Koushi should be more of himself so they try to act like a big sister. This is just some excuse so they end up tripping and his hands on their boobs. When Koushi confronts Mineru about this potion, she claims it is just placebo. Does it mean that Koushi was acting on his on natural will all the time?! Meanwhile Sutea is owning the customers. The tsundere maid just turned into some sadistic queen. You perverts deserve to be stepped on the head! More chaos as the occult members try to get Serene, the committee tries to get Mineru and those love stricken girls try to get Kiriya. Oh, more guys try to get Sutea to step on them. Wow. Such fun festival.

Episode 8
Looks like Kiriya is in a pinch. Her family dojo won some special trip that can only be used on the same they they’re supposed to host a Christmas party for the dojo kids. Yeah, freaking prize > your own students! But this sets up the excuse for Kiriya to seek Koushi and Atena’s help. But first, some bathroom fanservice as Koushi sees Atena naked. Too much blood loss. Because of that, Atena cannot help with the Christmas shopping and Koushi will have to do her part. So as they shop about at the mall, Kiriya starts to realize this looks more like a date. Starting to fluster? Even more so when she hears people say they are good looking siblings. It makes her feel awkward for being jealous of Atena as she wonders what Koushi thinks of her. Once done and back at the dorm, looks like it is Frey’s turn to make their outfits. Can’t make the right size if she doesn’t strip you and take your measurements, right? And so Koushi closes his eyes but has to endure the ambiguous moans. Stupid cameraman, we don’t want to see Koushi’s blushing face (shows how dirty minded he is) and can we see some Frey-Kiriya action???!!! Eventually the kid can’t take it and crawls his way out. Déjà vu once more as another bathroom mishap has Atena losing blood. This means she can’t go with them to the dojo. Who will substitute her? Ah, here comes Serene. Just bribe her with some snack and she’ll follow you to hell and back.

Upon reaching the dojo, the kids think Koushi and Serene are newbies and proceed to put the dojo uniform on them. As Kiriya teaches judo, I guess that’s why they have to don the uniform because Serene is wearing hers so loose that her tits are going to fall out! Not if Koushi can help block this and prevent bad influence on the kids! Then it’s time to decorate the place for Christmas. Koushi hands out badges so that the kids can get presents later. However they don’t want to wear it because it looks lame! Poor Koushi spent all his time making them. Koushi then notices a lone kid sitting by herself. He goes talk to her and finds out she has low self-confidence and views herself as the worst student. Since she didn’t slack off in her training, he gives her a badge. By now, all the kids think how cool it is to get a reward so they too want one. Time for sexy Santa and her sexy elf to debut! With Koushi only blushing, I guess this shows he is the only one having those kinds of thoughts, huh? But yeah, Kiriya also blushing. So what does this mean? It means a naughty kid flips up her short skirt to reveal her pantsu! Best Christmas present ever!!! After giving the presents, Serene rides on Koushi as he is the reindeer. But something feels weird. Indeed. Serene isn’t wearing anything underneath! Giddy up! Yeah, those ambiguous hip action. Koushi makes the fastest sprint towards the changing room. After everything is done, Koushi gives Kiriya a badge for her hard work. How the f*ck does this lead to a good mood for them to prepare to kiss each other?! Only, it got awkward after they notice Serene staring at them. Good reward for today’s good work begins when it starts snowing.

Episode 9A
Every Japanese’s favourite during the winter: Kotatsu! Hooray! Time to enjoy! Everyone gathers around and since Kiriya is letting Koushi sit on her lap, this makes Atena jealous. Then our slut masters start tickling the feet and slowly it descends into some feet rubbing chaos. How’s the pussy feeling, huh?! I guess Koushi doesn’t mind this ruckus because it’s the warmth of the family he’s always wanted, right?! Yeah, time to get nostalgic. Atena has this idea to help him do his homework using the kotatsu but stupid Koushi thinks of inviting Sutea. That really killed the mood. Of course Sutea is not pleased because you know, her condition. She thinks he used a stupid excuse so as to use the kotatsu but he promises to keep the temperature at the lowest. So when they start their homework (everyone else is out), eventually they fall into the kotatsu’s trap as they fall asleep from all the comfy warmth. Sutea wakes up soon after when it gets too warm. But WTF Koushi’s feet is rubbing her pussy?! WTF???!!! Sutea’s orgasmic face, priceless! Feeling all warm inside now???!!! Only, if Atena didn’t see this! OH SH*T!!! Sutea so embarrassed that she flips the kotatsu over! It fell on Koushi’s back! When the other girls return, they can’t fathom why Koushi looks depressed. He just learnt how fearsome the kotatsu can be. Sometimes it is warm, sometimes it is painful…

Episode 9B
Koushi is ready to tackle spring cleaning. So Frey is expecting her messy room to be cleaned since she will be away for a cosplay event. Oh well, Atena is glad to help out. But something is brewing in Serene’s room. The door is going to explode?! Serene is trying to escape via window and as Koushi catches her, you know the cliché, her ass on his face. Seems Serene claims her door is jammed and won’t let anyone in. So I guess it’s back to cleaning Frey’s room first. Sutea is here to play moral police again but is roped in to help clean Frey’s room, making Atena pout with jealousy. Cleaning goes fine, just that Koushi picks up Frey’s underwear… Lucky for him (or not), Sutea thinks it is Koushi’s cosplay outfit?! Next they visit Mineru’s room. Oh my. How big is the dorm anyway?! There’s a huge lab inside it?! WTF?! Dexter’s lab or something?! Anyway, nothing much to clean as everything is quite clean already. Back to Serene’s room, she still won’t allow them in until they bribe her with food. Then they force the door open and lots of stuffs come flowing up. Is she a hoarder? Serene reveals she was keeping them as gifts for them to show her appreciation for not abandoning her and taking good care of her when Goddess Dorm received new tenants. So she admits she is a weirdo? With Mineru finding some alcohol, the ladies get drunk. As expected, all cling over Koushi but Atena murmuring and complaining about her jealousy towards Sutea. Koushi is in a precarious position. Oh what will he do? Sutea will show him! She beats him out of it! So I guess spring cleaning done for the day.

Episode 10
New Year is coming and Koushi asks if any of them are going home. None. Everyone is staying. Why? Mineru: Got to upgrade the lab to a bigger facility. Don’t ask. Serene: Something about the moon and planet alignments. Don’t ask. Kiriya: She already spent Christmas with the kids and going home means taking care of her brothers. No need to ask. We know why. Atena: She’d rather stay here. We also know why. Before Mineru can tease Koushi for being happy these cuties will be staying for him, Koushi explains how blessed it is for him to have them as his family so he wants to make this the best New Year celebration ever. Yeah, don’t ruin the mood with some cheap dirty stuffs. Koushi needs to run some errands. Because Atena claims she is busy, Kiriya accompanies him. In actuality, Atena is knitting mittens for him. During shopping, suddenly Koushi collapses! Then it becomes an emergency. Damn, they’re treating Koushi’s cold like it’s the end of the world! Frey comes rushing home to smother him with her boobs! Feel better? Uhm, I think she just aggravated his cold. Oh, here comes another drama queen. Sutea really panicking that Koushi is dying! Calm down! It’s just a cold! She touches his forehead with hers to test. But why is she getting hot instead? Yeah… Another sick girl… And then Frey tries to seduce him with her sexy nurse. Uhm, didn’t she learn the last time?! Atena tries to stop this tomfoolery as Kiriya comes in to give him some drink she made. Uhm, is this poison?! Somehow it slips and as Atena tries to grab it, it falls over her. Well, not sure how this undresses her and she got her boobs in Koushi’s face! HOW???!!! Nose bleed time. Another sick girl… Damn, at this rate everyone is going to get sick!!! Then Koushi needs to bathe. WTF Frey and Serene become his sexy wash girls? Rubbing the right place? And WTF Kiriya trying to sniff his clothes?! Since Koushi is done, she panics and gives him wrong clothes to wear. A little too small? Why doesn’t Koushi just f*cking change? Don’t tell me he has no more spares?!

I guess with the dorm mother being out, everyone is just being useless b*tches not knowing how to do things. Atena tries to make something to eat but Mineru tries to add some chemicals into it. Atena won’t allow and during the struggle, the bottle breaks. Toxic fumes that eat up your clothes! Oh my. Hasn’t Koushi has had enough of fanservice for today? No rest for the sick! By night fall, looks like his cold has gotten worse. WHOSE FAULT IT IS, HUH???!!! With the clinic closed for the holidays, if it gets worse, they’ll have to send him to the hospital. Yeah, they even admit they weren’t serious in treating him. NOW YOU DO REALIZE YOU SLUTS WERE JUST FOOLING AROUND AND MAKING HIM MISERABLE, HUH???!!! Although they suggest taking turns to look after him, Atena wants to bear the whole responsibility. That night as Koushi seemingly looks like he is pain, Atena talks about the times they first met and the things they have done. She hopes he will get well soon because there are lots of things she wants to do with him. Can I guess sex is one of them! Oops! Oh sh*t, now this bug has gotten me too! Next morning, Koushi wakes up to see Atena sleeping by his side. And what do you know? His cold is gone. The script says so because we’re nearing the end. Koushi wastes no time in getting back to work because he doesn’t want to be sleeping till New Year’s Eve. Hence perfect timing for Atena to give him her mittens to help keep him warm. He puts them on and finds it very nice and comfy to wear. And so it will be another great day for Koushi and the girls as they all go out shopping together.

Aa! Megami-sama: Mother Dominator Of Goddamn Slut House
So you see, all the misery that befell on Koushi during the year accumulated and turned him sick! Though, I don’t see how the girls did anything to redeem themselves. Their minor reflection is just a ripple in the ocean, if you know what I mean. But hell yeah, if Koushi can endure all their sexy shenanigans, what is a cold to him! And so it is going to be another happy year for Koushi and the ladies. I also foresee that more fanservice kind of luck will befall on that little guy. I mean, it is to be expected when you’re the only guy living with a house full of hot babes, right? I wonder if they’ll take in new tenants the next year since the place still has got some room. Then everything will ramp up and Koushi will have another hard time. And then get a whole lot sicker by the end of the year again. Yeah, he’s going to build up some insanely strong immunity in that sense! But that’s another story to tell.

As you would have known, the only reason why you watch this series is because of the tits and other sleazy fanservice, right? This series fills the basic necessities of all that dumb ecchi fanservice goodness that includes right down to the silly fanservice logic. You know, weird laws of physics that has Koushi tripping or falling and somehow ending up in an ambiguous position with the girls. Like, how the f*ck could that actually happen in real life?! It is just short of Koushi slipping and his dick accidentally entering the girl’s vagina!!!!!!!!!! But I suppose that would’ve been hentai logic and you might find that on the dark web if you look harder. I don’t know, I didn’t try to look for it so don’t confirm with me if a hentai version of this exists. Though, my guts say it does because of rule 34.

Now, the strangest thing I heard was that there wasn’t just a censored or uncensored version. Heck, there are actually 3 versions of this!!! Like, WHAT?! So other than your standard censored and uncensored version, I read and was somewhat confused with the ‘clear’ or ‘see-through’ version. Huh? What the heck? From what I understand (could’ve been easier if I watched it for comparison but I didn’t because you know, tardiness) it seems for example those steams that cover the censored parts, there will be less of those steams and you can see those tits and butt but with less clarity. So it’s just a blur version, huh?

Fortunately for me, I watched the uncensored version so I don’t have to care about all that. Actually not because I really wanted to or hard up for it but oh well, if the downloaded version decided to provide me with such bonus, so be it. Yeah, I was actually contented with watching censored material because of my superior imagination!!! HAHAHA! And then you poor pervy peasants think I should just come down to your level and watch the same uncensored version together. Okay. Not that I’m complaining either. Nobody loses anything, right? All hail the glorious uncensored tits! I wonder if the director’s cut in the BDs will take away the sticks Atena used to block those tits. We pay extra to do away with the Mr Fuki Mamoru censors in the BDs! So your efforts to keep the clean morality is futile! HAHAHA! I think. On a trivial note, an item in the dorm that catches my attention is the piggy bank. It is the shape of a cute little baby but whenever you want to take out its money, it is from the butthole and it makes funny sounds! Damn! Where can I find this piggy bank?!

Story wise, there isn’t any real plot to begin with. Many of the episodes feel like random shenanigans that Koushi engages in with the rest of the dorm ladies. Of course, all in the name of fanservice. What else is there to it? Because as the new kid on the block, there are many things that he is uncertain of and is trying his best to get used to. Cue for fanservice antics in your face. Hence Koushi’s predicament could be a blessing in disguise or a curse because after his house burnt down and his father ran away, this led him to where he is now and so far so good for him in maintaining his sanity and lust. Just another ordinary day of him getting sexually harassed but I suppose it’s not an issue legally if a guy is at the receiving end. All he has to do is put up with it and get used to it. Such ordinary frolics are better than say, the government trying to force everyone to evacuate because they want to build a secret military compound-cum-lab and hence everybody is going to fight nail and tooth to the bitter end to defend their dorm! Thank goodness it’s just my delusions.

Koushi as the main character and the sole male around, I guess if you have watched enough of this kind of genres, you can tell where his fate is heading to. Like I said, either he has got to be the luckiest guy in town because he gets to live with a group of weird but hot babes but at the same time that is the same reason why he is the world’s unluckiest kid. Imagine Koushi just trying to get his feet back in life and then he is trusted in an all-important position and also he has to deal with inappropriate behaviour by some of the ladies who obviously look like they want to have fun and take advantage of this minor. I mean, what is he going to do? Call the cops for sexual harassment?!

Thanks to his innocence and kindness, this is largely why Koushi remains a good guy for the entirety of this series. My heart goes out to him for trying to maintain his sanity from it all. It is both bad and good because the way he hasn’t turned into a serial rapist yet means he is either gay or the resisting force is strong. All those blatant fanservice in his face, you wonder how long he’ll hold out before everything starts breaking apart. And in the worst case scenario if Koushi does wind up being a future pervert, we all know who to blame, right? Yup, this dorm is creating a future hentai monster! I won’t be surprised if they become his first victims… But that will be another alternate timeline and story where ecchi and fanservice elements are thrown out for horror, suspense and thriller. So I guess for now, we are all happy with the way Koushi is and how he brings extra life to the dorm. It’s more fun to tease an innocent kid with sexual innuendoes rather than getting it on with 100% lesbianism, right? Either way, we viewers are fine with it!

The other female characters are totally cliché too. They have their own episode in focus but that’s standard affair. Like Mineru and Frey who are the biggest offenders in sexually harassing Koushi. Sure, they may play a motherly role in supporting him but at other times, they also have their fun with him since Koushi doesn’t really fight back and even if he scolds back, it would sound meek and cute rather than anything menacing. Koushi being a weakling enables Mineru and Frey to dominate over this poor kid and cause a lot of fanservice shenanigans just for our entertainment. So don’t complain. Be thankful instead. Are you not entertained?!

Kiriya isn’t as sexually harassing as the aforementioned duo since she is of the tomboyish trope. She treats Koushi more like a little brother to help cushion the effects of living alone and away from her real brothers. Then there is Atena who started off as this man hater trope because of her condition. She tries her best since Koushi is trying his best. And so with her being unable to be this close to a guy, it gives off these flustering moments between them and troll us with some sort of pseudo romance because well, if there is going to be any real romance brewing, Koushi x Atena is the most likely of the pair, right? You can see as Atena’s feelings slowly transforms into that. She gets more and more jealous when Koushi is seen having more fun with other girls than her. And sometimes I feel at this stage with all the physical contact, the nose bleed is just an excuse to hide this embarrassing side of hers. Oh well then, better make up your mind if you want to be Koushi’s big sister or girlfriend and future husband.

The most mysterious character of them all is of course Serene. I suppose having a character like her is needed so that viewers won’t feel bored like as though they’ve known all the female characters that have been offered. Thus people like me will try to form some sort of conspiracy theories with this emotionless girl like she is most likely from the moon due to her penchant for stating about her lunar technology thingy. It could be that Serene is the actual and real goddess of this dorm as nobody knows much about her and she has been here before the rest came. It could be she is the dorm itself. And to make her susceptible to fanservice, they turn her into a little retard. At least that is how I feel when her fanservice moments played out with Koushi. Assuming if Serene is actually some lunar deity with real powers, I guess it could explain why Mineru’s room looks so endlessly large with all the hi-tech lab equipment in it. Yup, the dorm might look normal from the outside but it is an alternate dimension and space from the inside. Will Serene explain? Only if you bribe her with some food! Uh huh. The other trait that you’ll quickly associate with this retard, oops I mean, emotionless girl. But then again, there are some things that are left better not known. Just be like Koushi. Accept and live with it.

Last but not least, Sutea. Definitely tsundere material. Loli character too. Tick off that childhood friend trope too! Yup, too much busty and mature woman, time for this character to shake up things. Well, hardly. I suppose Sutea is playing the mini moral guardian aside Atena because too much fanservice can be a bad thing. Can it?! Hence her weird condition of cannot take the heat even by the mere touch of a human contact means that she cannot touch Koushi as often and if he does, beat down. Then she regrets and laments later. All part of being a tsundere. Better do something fast or Atena might steal him from under your nose. Oh well then, better make up your mind if you want to be Koushi’s girlfriend or your personal punching bag. On a trivial note, while I think the weird name of Sutea might probably been taken from the tsundere word, as for her surname, Koroya, while I am sure it is based on the word of ice (koori) but I think it is also not wrong because of her tsundere behaviour and the times she beats up Koushi, I believe it could also work as killer (korosu) and hence Koroshiya (hitman)!

Art and animation are pretty standard and okay. Noting notable to note about. Though, some characters look like their designs are borrowed from other anime such as Atena reminding me of Lala from To Love-Ru and Sutea have this little resemblance to Taiga from Toradora while Serene has this uncanny similarity to Nagato from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu. This is what happens when you’ve seen too many animes in your lifetime that some start to look similar the more animes you watch down the road. This ainme is done by Asread who did Mirai Nikki, Yuushibu and Shuffle. On a side trivial note, I noticed that promotional cosplay posters here are real photographs of what I believe to be the seiyuus of the characters cosplaying in the character they play. Personally… They look… Ugly! No wonder I love 2D girls better! HAHAHAHA!!!

Voice acting is pretty okay too. Didn’t recognize anybody in the cast and some are newbies or unknowns. They are Misuzu Yamada as Koushi (Mio Furuta in Kumo Desu Ga Nani Ka), Ayaka Nanase as Atena (Yoshino in Sakura Quest), Chiaki Takahashi as Mineru (Nanami in School Days), Asaki Fukuyama as Frey (debut role), Risako Murai as Kiriya (Hiromatsu in Ebiten), Yuki Yomichi as Serene (Koguma in Super Cub) and Hikaru Nanjou as Sutea (Paglia in Battle Athletess Daiundoukai Restart).

The opening theme is Naughty Love by the quintet of the Goddess Dorm. Feels pretty okay, nothing special. The ending theme, Zettai Kimi Sengan is also sung by them but this time featuring Sutea. I find the ending credits animation to be weird and fitting because we see Koushi as a jester running around through all the weird stages and props until he tires out. Yup, his life is definitely a joke and he is being made out a clown by those cougars. No wonder the carnival-like atmosphere of the song fits it all so well. I want to point out that in both songs, it feels like the girls just couldn’t get their voice out in singing. I’m not sure if I explained that correctly but hearing them sing, it feels like the air is not there as they sing the song, making the song sound weak and somewhat soft in terms of impact. Also before I forget, at the end of the opening credits animation, I feel weird seeing Koushi waking up all smiling. Yeah, after having weird dreams of the Goddess Dorm babes as angels and some scenes they’re like seducing his naked body, you bet any healthy kid his age would wake up all smiling! Did he get wet dreams after that? But his morning wood might be worth it! Or has he gone crazy from all the seducing? Anyway, it still feels a bit creepy if I look at it from this context.

Overall, if you love ecchi fanservice comedy, this is one of the titles that you have to put on your list. Otherwise if you think you are morally superior and rather not watch this morally depraved series that depicts women as sexy sluts, you might as well become a monk and go live in an isolated cave for the rest of your life. I mean, this is just fantasy and clean good wholesome fun, right? Oh my. The irony and oxymoron of that line… Do note the disclaimer at the start of the series that this is work of fiction! Yeah, I know such goodness could never happen to me and many others in real life :’(.I’ll add that nobody was sexually harassed during the making of this series! I guess some laugh at comedies but some laugh louder when they put in tits and pantsu shots in your face. Ah, sexy memories are made of these…

OMG! OMFG!!! I never would’ve expected it in my wildest dreams because a pseudo hentai series got a sequel!!! A SECOND SEASON???!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Yup. As much as I am rubbing my eyes from the disbelief, Yubisaki Kara Honki No Netsujou 2: Koibito Wa Shouboushi is indeed the sequel. It did cum come out for real. Really didn’t see that one cum coming. So what’s next for the fireman to take his girlfriend to the next level in their raunchy romance? Oh, I don’t know. More f*cking. More sex. More porn logic of course. Look who’s on fire now, baby!

Episode 1
Another hard day at work for our buff firemen. But tomorrow is the big date for Souma because he’ll not only be dating Ryou but to celebrate her birthday as well. So he takes her to a nice beach side. Yeah, nice beach tent. Wow. Where did he get this amazing yacht so that she could look at the stars and all the amazing stuffs in the ocean? Beats me. But the mood now is so right for them to f*ck. Yeah. Ryou wearing to sexiest see-through lingerie and you bet that’s your porn logic for a guy like Souma to think this is more than just invitation. If that’s her love for him, he’ll just have to reciprocate by f*cking her! First time cumming after fingering, now the real penetration for the second round! Damn, love makes you cum so easily! After all that is done, Ryou asks when did he fall in love with her. He says in school. Funny, they went to different schools. You bet the next day, Ryou is vitalized and is energetic in her meeting over a new client for a new project. However she sees a familiar face in the client.

Episode 2
That person is Rei Hidaka and is her ex-boyfriend! Oh my. Short flashback shows he would confess to her if he won some sporting event. I guess he did. And they dated. After the meeting ends, Ryou tries to leave and pretends not to know him. However he blocks her way. Yup, looks like he still remembers. I guess something went sour along the way. Then he proceeds to experiment her with some of his lipstick and gives one to her. Ryou returns home. She is having this dilemma whether to tell Souma about her ex. Maybe put that on hold, because horny boyfriend wants to f*ck her now as tomorrow will be the start of his training week. Turning him on is her new lipstick. Whatever. Just start f*cking. WTF she gives him a love bite because he gave her one? Then he has her being aggressive for once. And she felt his dick bigger than usual?! Did the horniness blow up everything?! It was a good sex. Souma sure filled up for the training already. Next day, Ryou seems to have suggestions for the new product but Matsui disagrees. How can Rei help?

Episode 3
Although Rei agrees with Matsui, however he wants to give Ryou a chance. And just like that Matsui agrees?! That was easy! Yeah, Ryou thinks Matsui likes him and that’s why she agreed so fast. Rei sees Ryou working late in the night and thinks she is trying to shoulder everything. Flashback shows Ryou got hurt in training before the competition so he had to warn her about exerting herself because her injury will only get worse. As Ryou won’t leave it all to him, Rei will just let her do as she wishes. During the meeting with the higher ups, they don’t seem convinced with Ryou’s argument. But the moment Rei presents his, they instantly accept! OMG! That was easy!!! The duo have lunch to celebrate this success. Souma’s training ended early so he is on his way home when passes by the restaurant, only to see Rei’s hand over Ryou’s cheek. Oh my. What’s this? Coincidentally a couple of girls spying outside talking how Rei and Ryou went to the same school? You get that, Souma?! Back home, Souma asks why she is so happy. Meeting went well. I see. In that case, he wants to f*ck her now as reward for his successful training. Oh yeah, he won’t be needing dinner now because her pussy is the main course! The appetizer and dessert too! Best dinner ever!

Episode 4
Oh, you mean dinner has not ended yet! Souma is still continuing to f*ck her! Now he is going in real deep! Ryou feels uncomfortable. It has been a while since he hasn’t been this cruel to her. What gives? Her sin is because she is too cute! So STFU and get f*cked!!! I guess they filled up their libido but reality hits when their stomach growls. Damn, still have to eat real food?! During dinner, Rei calls. She doesn’t want to answer at first but Souma thinks she should as it could be something urgent. Okay. Don’t worry, it’s strictly business. And Souma putting on that regret face… Next day, we see Ryou and Rei checking out a lipstick store. Oh, Souma and his buddies now spying on them?! Yeah, Izumi and Hase could tell why Souma was so depressed and hence they decided to help him to see if his girl is cheating on him. Hase so into this spying game… As Ryou and Rei have lunch, more flashbacks that Rei hasn’t really changed. Because girls still fluster when he flashes his smile, this was also the case back in high school. You thought he was a nice person but Ryou stumbled upon his cold side. Because of that, he personally become her trainer and then that confession scene. Yeah, looking back, they could laugh at it now. Suddenly Rei hides his face. Matsui is nearby. He knows she is looking for him. So it’s his fault for not making clear his feelings. There’s only 1 thing Ryou can do to help him: Pretend to be his girlfriend. I knew it!

Episode 5
And so the logic is… Matsui will give up on him if she sees them dating. Initially Ryou refuses since she already has a boyfriend. Well, this certainly piques Rei’s interest. Who’s that guy?! But since he is begging, she reluctantly helps. So they hold hands to greet Matsui. Imagine Souma’s shock when he sees this. So shock that the firemen bust their cover hiding behind a flimsy poster board! Cue for Ryou to take her childhood friend away to explain. He doesn’t like it, but okay. Flashback reveals that when Ryou started dating Rei, Souma could be a random high school guy whom she met at the train station and asked for advice on how to date. Yeah, his heart broke to see them together. Then and now. So I suppose Matsui is over Rei because Izumi and Hase take over. Yeah, with these hunks like them, who needs that pretty boy! But it is also their cue to Souma to go get back Ryou. Instantly he breaks them up. Charade’s over. He won’t hand over his girl to him. Okay. So back home, you can tell Souma is mad and what does porn logic dictate to vent out that frustration? You f*ck the girl of course! Damn, but does it feel like some Nazi interrogation as he questions her what she was doing and ASKING WHOSE GIRLFRIEND SHE IS OF!!! OMFG. Nothing much Ryou can do but bite the bullet and get her ass f*ck by this jealous monster. Not sure whether that scream is for pleasure or pain. At the end, she is so broken and she promises not to be Rei’s pretend girlfriend anymore even if he asks her to. That’s how you f*cking teach your whore obedience!

Episode 6
There are rumours going around that Rei and Ryou are dating. No thanks to Matsui spreading the word. But why is Rei so calm and not clearing things up? Because he wants to make it real! Date me! Ryou not impressed. Flashback shows Ryou had a different university choice but could change and go to the same university as him. But he scorned her and said he didn’t like who she was then?! Huh?! And that’s how they broke up?! So now Ryou says their relationship ended but Rei gives excuses that he finally understood about her when they worked together. Anyway, she’s not interested. When Ryou goes home, Souma has cooked her a nice dinner and what’s with that weird hairdo? Yeah, Ryou messes it up back to normal because this messy hairstyle calms her! Noticing he is trying his best (you mean, atoning for last episode’s rape?), she tells him about Rei’s confession. But the rumours are making its rounds. She tried to do something about it. So how does Souma forgive her? The f*ck OF COURSE!!! When you are able to f*ck a woman like that, no wonder he’s the happiest man alive. Yeah, that f*cking was also so good that Ryou gets the confidence to deal with Rei. At work, a colleague passes her a couple of tickets to an amusement park. Rei wants to go with her. Ryou obviously won’t go. You can have it. Wow. Rei looking so depressed.

Episode 7
Ryou goes to watch Souma and his buddies in a fire fighting competition. She is awed at how cool he is. It should be of no surprise since she watched him train every day. Not sure why she finds it hard to cheer for him but she finally manages to do so. In the end, Souma’s team got third. But what’s this? Rei is also here?! So he heard from a colleague. Not giving up on that ticket, huh? Despite she tells him again that she’s not interested, he still wants a chance to prove that he can change her mind. Time for Souma to step in. Luckily, his buddies also got tickets for the amusement park. All of them can go! Yay! The more the merrier! Triple date! Later in the car, Ryou praises how cool he was. Her reward? You guessed it. She gets f*cked! Oh yeah. The best cheer and support ever! So the next time Ryou wants to support him, all she has to do is let him f*ck her, right?!

Episode 8
Wow. This amusement park must be really amazing. Since it is having a Halloween theme, everyone is dressed up as so! Rei sees Ryou tagging along with Souma as they go do some fun stuffs. When the lights go out, not sure what scary event starts. This spooks out Ryou and Rei so Souma has to carry them to a safe place. Rei is puzzled why Souma helped him. Hey, it’s only natural to help others in trouble, right? Plus, he’s a fireman. A small fire is spotted and as the firemen head to put it out, Rei asks Ryou about having a hard time putting up with Souma. She says she could be herself whenever she is with Souma but with Rei, she stops doing so. That’s why she wants to be with Souma. And just like that, Rei understands and gets up and leaves. So I guess that’s it, huh? End of competition. And just to show how much Ryou and Souma love each other, Ferris Wheel sex! Nice view. Even better view, Ryou’s orgasmic face! No wonder Souma doesn’t want any other guy seeing this face! Back at the office, Rei seems to have cleared up the misunderstandings and doesn’t want Ryou to stand too close to him or another will one pop up. Agreed. Much obliged. Okay, bye then. Ryou returns to Souma and they kiss. True love always prevails in the end, yeah!

Where There Is Fire, There Is Smokin’ Hot Sex!!!
Oh wow. That was more like… Nothing burger! I know, I know. The obvious reason why they made this second season was nothing more than to portray more explicit sex scenes. But you can get more of those in pretty much every other porn animes out there on the dark web. Hence if you’re asking my personal opinion about this sequel of this pseudo hentai anime, I would say it would be a big disappointment. So big that Souma’s huge cock pales in comparison!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sighs… But you do get what I mean, right???!!!! Oh well, like I should’ve asked the question myself, it is not why they keep making Z-grade pseudo sex animes, it is rather why people like me keep coming back to watch them. Pfft. You know I’ll be lying if I said I was here for the plot and to follow up on what happened from the first season! Remember, THERE ARE NO REAL PLOTS IN HENTAI AND PORN! Only the sex. Heh.

So as I would have guessed from the promotional poster of this sequel before starting to watch it, there would be some sort of a rival for Ryou’s pussy. Oops, I mean, Ryou’s love. In a nutshell, Rei isn’t actually a real threat so to speak. He is there for the most minimal of drama and tension as well as a stepping stone for some raunchy sex scenes. And here I thought Ryou is going to have another guy putting his dick into her vagina. But I couldn’t be more disappointed and relieved at the same time with that. Because had she gave in to Rei’s temptations, it would’ve turned her into a slut and who knows if her romance and relationship with Souma would’ve lasted. So by staying true with only 1 sex partner, it is good for Ryou and Souma so they can happily f*ck each other till death do them part. After all, what is the name of this anime title again? But had Ryou been f*cked by Rei (consensual or rape), it would’ve brought this series to a whole new direction and I wouldn’t say that is a bad thing. It could have been interesting since now there is some sort of connection between Rei and Ryou that will be hard to brush off. Because nothing sexual happened between them, hence the cheesy ending and that’s why everything could be brushed off so easily and reset. Rei can get out of Ryou’s life without any repercussions or consequences. No hell to pay later on in life.

Hence all in all, Rei feels like a very weak character and like I’ve said, it all amounts to pretty much a nothing burger. The tension and drama of the possible threat that Ryou might go back to her ex flame is there but veteran romance series watchers like yours truly (that term used very loose on me, mind you) can tell that it is going to be nothing. After all, Rei had his chance but he flubbed it. Now he wants a second chance? Well, it is going to take a lot of convincing just to make Ryou change her mind, assuming she does that. So yeah, Rei’s presence might cause a small ripple in their relationship but in the long term as we can see only helps strengthen their relationship and sex life. Speaking of the porn here, as usual I’m going to say that I am not even stimulated seeing all those scenes. It’s like I’m numb from it (although months ago I did blame Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi for my mini relapse in pseudo hentai anime). So numb that it is safe to say that I didn’t even get it up while watching the scenes. Mind you, I am not erectile dysfunctional and last time I checked (wink, wink, you know how, right?!), I am definitely not! I’m so bored, I’m not going even to further elaborate on it or else I’ll sound like a broken recorder.

One thing I want to mention that amuses me is the ending credits. When it first started, damn, I thought some guy was going to do some slick sexy moves like Magic Mike! Oh yeah! Seriously, I thought it was going to be the most enjoyable part of the episode to watch! Not the cheesy romance and drama between the characters. Certainly not the porn logic and sex scenes. But damn, this Magic Mike moment could be the one that takes the cake. But very unfortunately, they blew this one too. They just show a few feet shuffling moves, that’s pretty much all. If they had shown the whole thing, maybe it would’ve been interesting. Damn those hot hunk firemen could double as male strippers if you know what I mean. The song itself is mediocre and most likely feels like some dubstep dance song. Even worse, the singing sucks! Sounds flat even if the guy is supposed to sound sexy at certain lines.

Overall, what can I say? It definitely is as bad as you think it is. Thinking back, each time I wanted to laugh at all the porn logic, I couldn’t because it just made me go WTF and my eyes rolling from one end to the other end. Twice. Or thrice. Then a huge sighs as I let it out while agonizingly waiting for the sex scenes to finish. I’m sure this isn’t the only porn-like sequel and there are many others out there if you are so interested in this genre. It certainly will not be the last either. I wouldn’t have watched this had this not come out as a pseudo hentai series back then and my stupid loophole had me take a look at it just for completion’s sake. Yeah, it’s a short series so how much can I lose, right? Sheesh. But now I’m done with this, I hope this won’t get another sequel. Or else, you know me… Who knows? The next sequel perhaps has another past flame of Ryou returning to her life. Hey, Ryou didn’t say how many boyfriends she had during her schooling days, right?! Then Souma will just have to keep f*cking her hard and put out all those horny flames from her ex flames who are coming back just to continue the exclusive privilege and right to keep f*cking her. I don’t know. Trying to do porn logic here. Yeah…

Kishin Houkou Demonbane

16 October, 2021

When I saw there was a place in Arkham in anime, I decided to check it out knowing that it didn’t have anything to do with that super famous city that Batman came from. And that was the cheesiest and sleaziest of reasons why I got myself into watching Kishin Houkou Demonbane. Yup, it is one of those mecha animes of the 2000s that lasts only for a single cour so I guess I won’t be spending too much time on this. Yeah, you know how most mecha animes lasts at least 2 cours. And what’s this? Ecchi in the tag? There’s my other cheesy and sleazy reason to see this…

OVA
The evil Dr West releases a mecha to terrorize the city. The police isn’t going to do anything about it. I mean, how the f*ck are you going to apprehend that giant? So f*ck it, right? But don’t worry, there is a hero of justice in the form of another mecha popping up to save the day! Next day, we see the editor in chief of Daily Arkham mad because their rival, Arkham Advertisers have photos of last night’s battle but they don’t. Cammy Lily Bridge trying to get a job at Daily Arkham but was rejected since her photo of last night’s big battle is too blur. She is about to try her luck somewhere else but I guess he changes his mind to hire her. As she starts work, her colleague tells her about an evil organization known as Black Lodge has always been terrorizing the city but a white angel always came to save the day. Now a mysterious superhuman is involved. There’ll be lots of scoop coming in. Especially Demonbane, the name of that mecha in the picture she took. As Lily tries to ask the public about Demonbane, she meets a crazy woman who only wants to preach about God and a mad police dude who takes it as an insult she compares them with robots. Then she stumbles into a dilapidated room. She thought it was a murder scene but turns out Kurou Daijuuji was just hungry. After feeding him (food is going to cost a lot), she offers him a partnership contract for info. His enthusiast turns into shock when she asks about Demonbane. Since he isn’t willing to answer it, I guess no more food for you, mister. Lily then picks up a strange metal dropped by a strange girl. But then a pair of strange chicks start to harass her with strange powers but is saved by Kurou. She hands over photos of them to her editor but he is not impressed. He wants photos of Demonbane and not the supernatural.

Talking to her colleague about this metal, he thinks it could only be made by Hadou Corp. She waits outside their mansion until Ruri, the leader of Hadou Corp pops up. Her butler, Winfield stops her as she has no appointment. Ruri is willing to answer Lily’s questions but denies of having ever made such metal. She wants to show proof but realizes her metal is missing. Plus, her editor orders her not to write any articles pertaining on Hadou Corp aside their official announcements. Lily gets depressed for a while but decides she is going to get down to the bottom of this. So one night she enters a restricted area and is caught by West. He is disappointed that she is just a normal human and to atone for this mistake, he’ll make her his experimental subject! Luckily Lily is saved by this superhuman dude (Kurou?) and his cute chibi familiar, Al Azif. West sends his mafia goons to attack but loses. The Black Lodge loser won’t give up as he returns riding his mecha with his assistant, Elsa. Yup, he fixed it up a little. And of course, here is also Demonbane. Ruri and her staffs running and monitoring it. Hence your hefty transformation scene as Demonbane manifests and sends the evil West back into nothingness. Then a great pose for a great victory. All Lily could do is stand there in awe and admire Demonbane.

Episode 1
Kurou runs a detective agency as he gets a call from Winfield for a big job that pays big. You bet he is going to accept it. But first, he must meet Ruri who will tell him the job details. He is to obtain a grimoire with real power. At first he is sceptical because of the risks but when they pay him some advance money, he gladly takes the job. He then brags about this to Leica Crusade. She is happy for him. But why still come to the church for free meals?! Bad habit? In that case, why not pay back all he has eaten and make some donation? So he agrees? Yeah, Leica keeps the money to prevent him from spending it all. Ruri wonders if Kurou is the right man for the job. Winfield says despite a dropout from Miskatonic University, he studied under its secret division of mystic theories. Students there don’t reveal themselves and it was a hard time to find them. Ruri really needs that grimoire because it is the only way to fight Black Lodge. Kurou looks through the library when Naia the sexy librarian introduces him some grimoires. But too bad he can’t buy them because she believes he will get a much more superior grimoire. One that can summon God. Back to square one for him. As he bums out in his car, Al Azif crashes onto him. She was running away from Black Lodge. So she’s blaming him for them surrounding them now? They fire but she uses her magic to stop the bullets. However without a sorcerer, it drains her power so she faints. Oh boy, here comes West. He feels insulted Kurou doesn’t know him. His long blabbing allows Kurou to drive away. When Al Azif wakes up, she detects some scent of darkness in him. Is he a sorcerer? She doesn’t think so as he doesn’t have a book although he looks he has great potential. Of course West and his goons have found them. Yeah, his long ranting allows Al Azif to force Kurou to reveal his name so she can make a pact with him. The kiss seals it as she reveals she is created by Abdul Alhazred and is the world’s ultimate grimoire. Kurou turns into a superhuman form known as Magius while Al Azif in her chibi mode. Kurou easily dispatches West but it doesn’t take long before the mad doctor returns in his giant mecha. They will pay many times fold for this humiliation! As he is destroying Arkham, our heroes need to do something. Al Azif laments if only they had a Deus Machina called Aeon with them. But wait. She senses one nearby. Not exactly Aeon but something close. She decides to take this chance as she activates Demonbane. Ruri and her crew are stumped to see Demonbane fully activating on its own without a grimoire.

Episode 2
West fires all he’s got but nothing happens. Demonbane fights back and defeats West like easy pie. But to finish him off once and for all, they use their ultimate technique, Atlantis Strike to blast him away. In the aftermath, they are contacted by someone from Hadou Corp that this Demonbane is their secret property and will be sending a team to retrieve it. Despite being warned not to run, Kurou gets scared and runs away on foot! Now that Kurou is Al Azif’s master, she won’t have him be a weakling. She needs him to be the best sorcerer quick. Too bad this dude drives away and ditches her! West reports all this to his boss. But Augustus mocks him for not only losing Al Azif but also ran away. And his robots were useless before an unknown robot. Master Therion leaves it to Augustus to handle things as he is going to meet Demonbane’s new master. Leica hears out Kurou’s complaints. Kurou is shock that Al Azif is also here. Her ambiguous words makes Leica in shock the kind of relationship they are in. Al Azif then brags to the orphans about her cool origins. Words so hard to pronounce that they basically butchered it. Suddenly Therion comes in and swats away Leica. What this sister did to him?! Kurou is shocked he knows his name. Why not? He is the big boss of Black Lodge. Because he further mocks Leica, Kurou gets so mad that his punch destroys his barrier and sends him flying out! Of course if Therion is serious, Kurou can’t possibly beat him hand to hand. Thus Al Azif suggests using Demonbane. The mecha is summoned and Kurou still thinks this is overkill for a single human. He’ll understand why. Because Therion owns his ass in a single hit! Using his gravity spell to crush them, Therion is disappointed that’s all they’ve got. But he has an idea. He’ll kill the sister and the kids! Heck, he just explodes the vicinity too. So mad Kurou is, he breaks out from the magic to fight back. You’re not a f*cking human being! He powers up Demonbane to give a super badass punch. However, Therion has summoned his grimoire, Etheldreda to block the punch. Now he’ll return the favour. In the aftermath, a huge crater in the city. Ruri and Winfield fly in their helicopter to see Kurou standing on Demonbane. Al Azif notes she is not complete and a grimoire and Kurou is not strong enough. He needs to get stronger if he wants to defeat Therion. Otherwise this will happen again to some other innocent people. We know Kurou’s answer already.

Episode 3
Kurou and Al Azif defeats an enemy to obtain pages of the grimoire. Too bad they left some destruction in the surrounding. Flashback shows Ruri chastised them for this because you know hard it is for her to cover it all up. Because Al Azif has missing pages in her grimoire, this means her powers are incomplete and hence they are on a mission to retrieve them. However Ruri and Al Azif start butting heads. Better go and carry out your missions. Hence if they want to keep destructions to a minimum, Kurou must get stronger. When something terrorizes the town, Kurou and Al Azif go into action but bump into West. Not this guy again! Of course, the mad doctor is happy to brag about his new creation as he introduces to them his robot assistant, Elsa! Both sides fight and Kurou accidentally saves Elsa from harm’s way. Elsa’s logic is that now she is in love with him? This is going to get complicated. Kurou thought he obtained the grimoire pages but West steals it from him. Then he summons his mecha. Uhm, it’s Demonbane?! What a rip-off! Time to show who is the real deal around. Demonbane vs Demonbane. However because West has stolen some of the grimoire pages, he is able to replicate some of Demonbane’s moves. Then they fight with their own original moves and this is getting nowhere. So Elsa is going to defeat them and win Kurou’s love? First complication… Ruri watching it all realizes that there is a move they can do to help turn the tide: Lemuria Impact. It is untested and dangerous (it could destroy Demonbane and Arkham) but what choice do they have? Contacting Kurou and Al Azif about this, she then conducts some ritual to send the code to them. Basically, sticking some bomb in the enemy until it explodes. A devastating one too, if you ask me. Some zero mass, infinite gravity and heat that absolutely destroys the enemy. Well, imitation Demonbane destroyed but West and Elsa still live. Elsa admitting they lost this time but next time she’ll win his love! Just glad this fight is over.

Episode 4
Demonbane is undergoing repairs. Yup, they damaged it too much. Al Azif is being bossy to hasten the repairs. This leads to another argument with Ruri. Al Azif steps out of line when she claims she cannot pilot Demonbane and earns Ruri’s slap. I think that’s enough catty drama for today. Later Winfield tells Kurou and Al Azif about Ruri’s background. Her parents died when she was young due to revenge attack from Black Lodge as Hadou Corp defied them. Her only family was grandpa who devoted his life in creating Demonbane, a sword to fight Black Lodge. Hence Demonbane is like a memento from her late grandpa. Suddenly the place is being attacked by Black Lodge. Ruri tries to run but Tiberius is playing hide and seek with her. Kurou and Al Azif make haste to her but is stopped by Titus. It seems the duo are from Anticross, a group of handpicked high level sorcerers who serve Therion. Winfield wants them to go rescue Ruri while he deals with Titus. Boxer vs samurai. Who will win? Meanwhile Ruri is going to be tentacle raped by that monster pervert. Just in time for Kurou to come save the day. Damn, Kurou easily kills him. As Ruri is still very shaken, I guess it is Kurou’s job to help comfort her. She is after all still a girl. Suddenly he is stabbed in the back by Tiberius. How is he still alive? Well, he is dead in the first place! Some immortality magic keeping him alive. Kurou is bleeding like mad and still tries to protect Ruri. Is this time to say he isn’t worthy to pilot Demonbane? Yeah, you’re f*cking making Ruri so f*cking worried! Kurou goes all out to kick Tiberius’ ass. So much so this guy is so mad that he uses his magic to summon his Deus Machina, Beelzebuth. Oh no. How can Kurou fight against this mecha without his own? Worst, he goes unconscious after losing too much blood! Before Tiberius could kill him, Therion orders him to return to base as the goal has been achieved. But Tiberius defies him. He will not allow this humiliation nor his enemies to live. Last warning. Therion induces some pain in him and tentacle freak gives up. Okay, okay! I’ll go home. Next time we’ll finish this. Same case for Titus. Good thing because Winfield is also at his limit after taking some katana damage. The irony our heroes were saved by the big boss of Black Lodge. In the aftermath, Kurou is recuperating in hospital. Could’ve healed faster if not for those pesky orphans jumping about!

Episode 5
Kurou is being called to investigate some island hauntings. But that can wait since it is beach episode! Oh yeah! Girls in swimsuits! Especially sister so sexy! Have you done converting into Christianity?! WTF, West is also here playing in the sand?! More shenanigans as Ruri and her maids force their makeover on Kurou. He is now the prettiest bride?! That’s not over, an almost intimate moment whereby Al Azif finds him interesting because unlike her previous masters, they treat her as a weapon. He is different. Ruri suspects something indecent going on and poor Kurou bears the brunt of whatever punishment. The gang sail over to the haunted island. But upon reaching, the ship explodes. The captain is a monster who claims all men will die and the women will be sacrificed to their god. Kurou sees a couple of women in his dream before waking up next to Al Azif in some underground cavern. From the walls, looks like a cult. This weird moment whereby Kurou stepped on some trap, the fog turns him horny as he kisses and fondles Al Azif all over?! Maybe she felt good for a while before kicking his nuts to get him back to normal. They arrive at the altar where the other women are going to be sacrificed by other monsters. As Kurou and Al Azif fight the monsters, Vespasianus pops up. He is from Anticross and all this is part of his experiment. He uses his grimoire loli to activate the god, Dagon. So, sacrifices weren’t needed? I guess this is cue to summon Demonbane for a big monster fight. Ugly mecha vs ugly seafood. With limited options and Atlantis Strike not even working, Kurou starts hearing voices of those women. They agree to lend their power as they can’t let him die yet. Al Azif recognizes them as pages from her grimoire, Cthugha and Ithaqua. I don’t know what’s going on but it’s the power up they need to finish off Dagon. Vespasianus is impressed by what he saw and understands why Therion is interested in him. But looks like he is moving on to the next phase as he has already gotten the key for it. As everyone takes the ship home, Kurou tries to apologize Al Azif for that rape incident. Just when she is about to forget all about it… Well, Kurou says he will never ever do it with her even if she asks him to. I know his intentions are good but apparently Al Azif is mad and kicks him overboard! Sometimes it is best to just keep your mouth shut.

Episode 6
On a rainy day, Kurou picks up a lethargic girl from the streets, Ennea. This is going to be troublesome. It seems she is amnesiac. He leaves it to Al Azif to bathe and take care of her. Don’t expect him to do it, huh? Next day, Ennea is full of life. Jumping about on Kurou’s body that Al Azif is getting the wrong idea about this unholy act. His body won’t last?! Yeah, blast him through the window and see if his body will last. Al Azif questions Ennea about the scars on her body. Hey, she’s amnesiac, remember? Kurou won’t force her. Kurou calls Winfield for advice but it seems Ennea doesn’t want to go anywhere. She wants to stay by Kurou’s side. I guess this is where the loli rivalry comes in. Ennea shamelessly flirting with Kurou, not shy in spelling it out that Al Azif is jealous. Al Azif so mad that Kurou bears the brunt of her punishment?! Female logic. How troublesome. More loli rivalry as both fight for his attention. It gets more troublesome as West is here, accusing him of being a lolicon. That’s against the law! Oh, Elsa going over to make it a threesome! West will now f*cking kill him! RUN!!! After Kurou bears more brunt of the lolis’ rivalry, Ennea nurses him and asks about the scars on his body. Kurou says he needs to fight or else he’ll regret it later. Hence she poses a question if he could see the future and everything is for naught, will he still do it? Yes. Better than doing nothing. The lolis sure know how to run him broke as they’re out at a carnival. However before them is a couple of Anticross dudes, Claudius and Caligula. Seems they are looking for Tyrant but to stumble into Kurou is a big bonus. They also want him to hand over Ennea. The answer is clear. Time to fight. That is when random grimoire pages scatter and get absorbed into Kurou. Claudius recognizes this as Tyrant. Kurou is now able to wield a couple of guns and do big damage. Caligula gets injured so bad he goes crazy, summoning his Deus Machina. Claudius too. Oh well, Demonbane make it three. The reason Demonbane is getting its ass kicked is because Kurou is trying to protect Ennea who is just standing there watching like an idiot! Do you not know how to run?! Then a slab falls on her. Kurou so mad, he harnesses the power of Cthugha and Ithaqua as well as Tyrant’s guns to destroy Anticross! City also taken a huge damage. I hope this is worth the avenging for Ennea.

Episode 7
Claudius and Caligula are still alive but are chastised by Augustus for being pathetic. However Therion wants Project C to be initiated now. Augustus is shocked because Tyrant is needed for this. And so Therion says he will take over Tyrant’s part. As Al Azif analyses the new guns and bullets and is impressed with its mystic power and all, looks like Kurou is spacing out and being depressed. Still can’t get over a loli’s death, huh? As Therion addresses his cult members of the new dawn they’ll bring, Augustus discusses with other Anticross about Therion’s actions. Something is wrong. Project C is important and now he doesn’t even need Tyrant or even Al Azif. He is asking if Therion is worthy of executing Project C. As Project C initiates, a huge sphere floats above Arkham. There are many mecha flying about too but they are autopilot. Why the f*ck does a robot NEED a ROBOT to pilot it?! Therion then makes his announcement to the people of Arkham. Basically their sufferings will be the sacrifice needed to fuel Project C. Chaos descends and Kurou is still depressed? Time for Al Azif to snap the f*ck out of him. Is he going to waste Ennea’s wishes? If he still cannot fight, she will make him stronger. There. This kiss might help. She wants to share his sorrow and pain since he is her master. Just like that, Kurou is back on his feet. Demonbane fights Liber Legis (Therion’s Deus Machina). However the fun is interrupted when Anticross comes to stop their master. Due to the importance of Project C, they will eliminate any obstacle. Therion is not impressed since they are ruining his fun with Kurou. Anticross doesn’t give a f*ck and disposes of Therion. Then they make an announcement to their loyalists that Therion have deceived them. The summoning of Cthulu (the goal of Project C) was not to bring about their utopia but world destruction. Hence they have punished Therion the traitor and now Anticross will be commanding Black Lodge. Meanwhile Kurou and Al Azif see some past vision of the latter. Aeon, Al Azif’s previous Deus Machina was piloted by her previous master. He died. As she doesn’t understand sorrow, it is her duty to find a new master to fight again. From what I understand, she found some happiness in Kurou and before she could complete her love confession to him, they return to reality. They might be safe from Anticross’ attack but Al Azif is unconscious. It’s bad because she starts reverting into her grimoire pages and they’re scattering!

Episode 8
Once more, Kurou in despair. Demonbane’s busted up. Anticross discusses their next move to crush Hadou Corp. Once that is done, no one will oppose them. Ruri tries to stop a very angry Kurou as he wants revenge on Anticross for killing Al Azif. OH SH*T! YOU MEAN AL AZIF IS DEAD?! I can see why he is so mad and sad. 2 lolis died before his eyes, you know. He doesn’t care about his own injuries and just wants revenge. Ruri hugs him to make him think not to waste Al Azif’s sacrifice. Soon, a ship crashes nearby. It is Elsa carrying an injured West. Help, please? It seems West has left Black Lodge for, uhm, creative differences? After Anticross disposed Therion for wanting to destroy the world, their goal now is to take over the world. However, West opposed to this. Instead of using some God to do it, he preferred using his own technology. And because of that differing view, he quit. But not before he destroyed some command centre. You do notice that Black Lodge cannot use its robots to destroy Arkham right now, right? Leica nurses the injured evacuees in the underground shelter. The orphans worry about Kurou. Don’t worry. He won’t die even if you kill him. Holy sh*t! Sister said that?! Kurou goes to the lab to make those special bullets. Damn, Scorpions singing that hard rock metal song while we see this montage?! Oh sorry, it’s just Masatoshi Ono. Song still rocks, though! Kurou realizes he loves this town and people, and that’s why he is going to protect it. Oh, please don’t put on a bat mask and don a dark cape… As he returns, Demonbane is completed?! Turns out West used his artistic genius to fix it. So even without Al Azif, he can pilot it (WTF, he calls it Demonpain?!). Good time to try it out now as Anticross resumes their attack. Elsa might not be Al Azif but she can still substitute the grimoire system and help out Kurou and pilot Demonbane. So we see Demonbane destroy those small robot fries. Anticross is shocked to see Demonbane back in action. First victim to head out is Caligula. If you think this will be an easy pushover, think again. Demonbane has a hard time fighting him so with West’s suggestion of a temporary retreat, Caligula is fooled into thinking he destroyed Demonbane when he tries a sneak attack but that was just a decoy. The real Demonbane pops up from behind and strikes him down with Lemuria Impact. One Anticross member down. I bet Kurou must be feeling so good the way he stands posing outside Demonbane. The revenge party just getting started…

Episode 9
WTF, this allegory from Al Azif. Not sure what she’s talking about but I’m sure it’s about Kurou rising to being a hero, right? As Demonbane undergoes maintenance, Claudius infiltrates Hadou Corp’s base in search for revenge for Caligula. Of course Kurou is there to stop him and he has the upper hand as Elsa assists him. Could’ve finished the kid off if Kurou didn’t hesitate about his revenge for Elsa. Because Claudius makes a sneaky move to escape as he heads into the hangar to steal Demonbane. Don’t worry. Because West is waiting inside to blast him off! Yeah, you showed him! So I guess we have enough of humans fighting. Time to summon the mecha for the big destructive fight. Meanwhile, the command centre is under attacked too. This time, Titus barging in to have his rematch with Winfield. It’s chaotic and distracting, but Ruri and her maids have to help support Demonbane. Once Demonbane is launched, they can have a bigger fight above Arkham. And further destroy the city too. As Claudius is owning Kurou, the only way to end this is to use Lemuria Impact. But Ruri is not responding to give the codes. That’s because she witnesses Winfield getting killed by Titus! NOOOO!!!! But looks like Winfield also took out the samurai (or did Titus used too much power and in exchange paid with his life?) so I guess it’s a dead draw. Ruri is too distraught to pay any attention to Demonbane but luckily plot convenience says the butler must still breathe so as to remind the oujo-sama to do what she needs to do. With that, Ruri sends the much needed codes just in time for Demonbane to send Claudius to join Caligula in hell.

Episode 10
When Elsa tries to contact command centre, there is no response. That’s because Tiberius has taken Ruri hostage! You bet Kurou is mad. Not going to lose a third loli! But he can’t do anything as Tiberius beats him up for the pain he has given him. Ruri tries to be a hero and wants Kurou to run away. He can’t. What did I tell you about losing another loli?! Tiberius then overwhelms Kurou with his creepy aura. He sees many ghostly spirits. Tiberius wants him to become one of his spirits. His remorse will enhance his strength. Once again, Ruri would take Kurou’s place for that. Girl, what did I say about Kurou losing another loli???!!! Time to turn this around as Kurou use his special bullets to shoot Ruri free. Shouldn’t he have done this earlier? It’s not like he was obstructed or something. And look who has returned to join him? AL AZIF!!!!! OMG! She’s back?! Nothing welcomes her back as they both kiss. Flashback she was in despair in some battlefield covered with crosses on fire. A voice apologizing that they weren’t with her but someone who is still currently fighting is. I guess we all know who. And just like that, that’s how Al Azif came back to Kurou’s side. Don’t really get it, though. Thanks to the duo back as a combo, they give Tiberius the beat down with their Demonbane (I guess time for Elsa to bow out and play supporting role of taking care of Ruri). Heck, they don’t even need Lemuria Impact to defeat him! So easy! But wait! Remember Tiberius is an immortal? How you gonna kill him? Not sure if Al Azif’s baseless optimism did the true or Naia did some nudging. Because Demonbane pulls out some dimensional sword! So insane that Tiberius is even afraid of it! Can’t blame him. When he gets sliced, he gets dragged into some scary dimension that he doesn’t want to be. But he has to. Because as the villain, the script says it’s his turn to die. Another Anticross down. While Al Azif knows this move’s name (Shining Trapezohedron), she doesn’t recognize this power. Kurou doesn’t give a f*ck about all that. He is glad that she is back. That is all that matters now. Naia seems pleased with this outcome. Meanwhile, Vespasianus kills off Augustus because like a typical bad guy, he claims he is the only one who is befitting of Cthulu’s power. The irony of talking about betrayals because Augustus didn’t die and kills off Vespasianus instead. Yeah, he has the power of God the world is now his.

Episode 11
So Augustus is going to take over the world in his giant sphere? It’s floating over the ocean. Can’t miss it. Ruri’s ship is heading there. Damn, can it support the giant Demonbane? Why does Demonbane need a ship to be transported?! It’s not like it is being repaired, right?! Anyway, Ruri kisses Kurou! Not because there needs to be love rivalry, but to pass him the codes so he can use Lemuria Impact any time. That’s good because now for Demonbane to kick ass, first up is Titus. This dude still alive? But he gets killed off easily by Lemuria Impact!!! I guess he had his rematch with Winfield so no point dragging out this fight for another episode. Now they go face the emperor. Augustus your typical villain in wanting to take over the world when suddenly he gets killed off! OMFG! WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED?! They don’t want to drag on the fight for the rest of the episode either, huh? The one who killed him is… ENNEA?! Rather, her real name is Nero. Nero the Tyrant and part of Anticross. So she is back and going to destroy the world, huh? Oh damn, I wonder how conflicted Kurou is. Screw your kill-no-loli policy! She’s going to kill you! Fight back! If that doesn’t get him serious, Nero becomes dead serious in wanting to destroy the world, the city he loves and all the people in it. That motivate you enough? So Demonbane draws out Shining Trapezohedron and slices Nero. But wait. Did Kurou miss her? Well, he claims Shining Trapezohedron is to sever evil. And what he cut down was the evil of Nero and now before him is just a girl named Ennea. F*cking loophole. Now let’s go back together, okay? Too bad she can’t. She claims all she wanted was to meet him because he is strong but that is just running away. Lucky bastard Kurou gets kissed from her, Al Azif just got to hold it in and not be a b*tch to ruin this death flag moment. Nero hopes to be strong next time but there won’t be? That’s because something bursts out from her stomach like that Alien horror thingy!!! WTF?! It’s Therion!!! He’s back? And he claims he was born from Nero at this moment just to fight him. With all that kissing, Therion kisses Etheldreda to start the true goal of Project C. A huge door pops up. Yog-Sothoth whom Therion has the blood of and thus his father and with mother Nero, he is the son of God! Sorry for those expecting it was Jesus. Oh right, Jesus brings salvation. This son will destroy! Anyway, this door connects to all the beings and gods of different worlds. You know what it means opening it here, right?

Episode 12
Therion claims that everything from the forming of Anticross to being born from Nero was part of his plan all along. So now he is going to unleash another god upon this world and destroy it. You bet Kurou will fight him to stop this madness. But wait. Al Azif wants to sever their contract. Because walking through this door means walking into the space of past, present and future. He won’t get back. But Al Azif can. Spare me all your pathetic excuses because whatever it is, Kurou is coming with her, right? She won’t be alone facing and fighting the evil for eternity. Smooth operator Kurou must have said all the right stuffs to make Al Azif all emotional and confused. Yup, finally she confesses. He is important to her not as a partner or a master but as a lover. Here’s one kiss for the road. Now let’s go fight this evil. Entering the door, Therion expects Kurou as he even gives away the hint to end this: Destroy Liber Legis. Well, duh! As they fight, Therion narrates that this fight has been repeated hundreds of thousands of times. Therion is full of hate for Kurou for her is pure and noble. Only Kurou and Al Azif can take his hatred in this world. Despite taking damage, Demonbane heals because of planet Earth?! Planet Earth is the one protecting them?! HUH?! To end all this, they pull out Shining Trapezohedron. But looks like Liber Legis can do that move too! As Naia narrates, using this move would mean annihilating the existing the other of the other. She relishes to see what comes next.

When both Deus Machina clash, Naia is ecstatic her universe that was trapped inside the Shining Trapezohedron, will now return to its original state. But don’t laugh yet you b*tch! Because Demonbane is glowing shiny! Is it going Super Saiyan?! Naia is scared and panics. She doesn’t recognize this ending. Yeah. WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?! Kurou realizes Naia AKA the evil god Nyarlathotep is the one behind all this, so he lectures her about his times in despair. It brought out 2 emotions: Anger and hate. So the reason he can rise up is because of that and also he is human?! HUH?! With that, using some combo pose with Al Azif, they blast away Naia! Therion also gets caught in the blast. Etheldreda wants to protect him but Therion thinks this is fine. He wants out of this infinite loop. And so the duo wander for eternity together and consider this their salvation. Kurou and Al Azif is also wandering for eternity inside Demonbane. Well, they have all the time in the universe for each other, right? Is this what you call eternal bliss? Uhm, only… Al Azif then sends Kurou back to Arkham as she believes his smiles are suited there. Against his will, she says her goodbye. So Al Azif gonna run away with Hadou Corp’s property, huh? Kurou returns to Arkham and life returns to normal. Some don’t even recognize Kurou? Yeah, it’ll be troublesome if Elsa now takes over the top spot since the other lolis are gone. Yeah… As he wanders around in despair, suddenly Al Azif returns! WHAT?! HOW?! Because they got a contract together. WHAT?! HOW?! I don’t get this but some alternate dimension of Kurou, Al Azif and Demonbane made it possible for this to happen. So this is the reward from god? Now they can kiss for how long they want. What’s the use of having Demonbane in Arkham? It’s not like Black Lodge is a threat anymore, no?

Whore Of The Machine Fraud: Demon-bland!
Well, thank goodness I don’t have to rewatch this hundreds of thousands of times for eternity! Oh boy. I’m glad it has ended after a dozen episodes. Not to say that I didn’t like it nor that I was not enjoying this, it was pretty much mediocre overall and my sentiments were hovering somewhat at average throughout the season. Until the final episode when they start bombarding with all the confusing stuffs. Blam! WTF?! WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING?! I just didn’t get it. I’m too f*cking confused. So it didn’t turn out to be a generic and cliché good versus evil at least on the main character level. So they didn’t dedicate the last episode to be just a big straightforward smashing fight between Kurou and Therion after all. True evil turned out to be something else and our hero managed to save the day and end the universe level of Groundhog Day. Thank goodness I didn’t have to watch this hundreds of thousands of times before reaching this ‘unseen’ conclusion! Thanks Kurou, you saved me lots of time! I’m never coming back to this series again!

On the surface, the story seems pretty simple and cliché because you know, guy who knows how to pilot the best mecha is needed to fight off an evil organization. That’s that. But you know, they have to keep the twist or something and that’s why towards the end of the episode, it become something of more than mere mortals of organizations fighting each other for world dominance or protecting the world. It has now transcended into the level of gods. Oh dear. That’s where I got so freaking confused and my excitement level just dropped like a rock! Because in the end, I guess Black Lodge wasn’t truly the real bad guys here since Anticross were doing most of the heinous attacks as we’ve seen. And I wonder if Al Azif got all her pages of the grimoire back to become complete. I suppose that isn’t necessary since she found completion and wholesomeness with her love for Kurou, RIGHT?! LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!! YEAH!!!

But to be fair, I wasn’t familiar with this series in the first place. That’s because it was adapted from an adult visual novel. An adult visual novel, huh?! No wonder it had ecchi in its tag. But too bad if you’re thinking for something really raunchy, you’ll be in for some big disappointment as the ecchi level is not even half of it. There are a few panty flashing scenes but they are so far and few in between and they last so short that it is the case of blink and you’ll miss it. Uh huh. It feels a lot like that. Even the first time when Al Azif and Kurou met with the former crashing on the later, having her crotch shoved in his face, I think that is by far the raunchiest the series could get. Oh wait. Perhaps the one whereby Kurou almost raped Al Azif on the cult island. Well, even if it is by the 2000’s decade era standards, the ecchi levels are just paltry. Maybe if you really want more than that, the game has more to offer. I mean, they have to make this family friendly when they adapt this into anime, right? Or at least acceptable levels of ecchi that would make the episode being able to air.

Furthermore, this series draws a lot of references to HP Lovecraft’s Cthulu’s mythology. It is all over the place from the terms they used and I only know about this not because I was a hardworking and curious otaku who decided to find out and know more about it. But rather because at the end of each episode, there are useful notes of the Lovecraft terminologies used. Yes, I watched a fansub version of this series so they took the trouble to actually put up lengthy and comprehensive notes of those terms. It is quite enlightening, informative and interesting. But too bad for me, I immediately forgotten all after reading them. It’s like it never went through my brain at all… Sheesh… Also, I am today’s years old to find out that Arkham wasn’t just some reference from the DC Comics side but also a fictional city in Lovecraft’s stories. Sighs. Aside the Cthulu references, it is odd that the Anticross members are named after Roman emperors. Not sure if I see the connection here but it just feels weird as f*ck to see these people with Roman-like names. I mean, samurai guy has this Titus name? WTF? I thought Musashi would’ve suited him fine. But no Julius Caesar anywhere, though. Supposedly the most famous Roman emperor and the first one that comes to mind if we were tasked to name them, right?

The characters, well, uhm, I’m not really impressed with all of them. Even for Kurou and Al Azif who are given the most screen time. Sure, they want to showcase their bond and all but sometimes when I think about it, it’s pretty weird that a human is having some sort of bond with a book anthropomorphized as a loli. Oh heck, lots of anime have main character humans who has a familiar who is non-human. Anyway, it’s one of those dumbfounding moments we see from the beginning as Kurou accepts Al Azif to be part of his life no matter how bratty she is because she’s acting like she’s some big shot or something. Then we got to see their dynamism because that is pretty important in controlling Demonbane and somehow they pull it off. Repeat that sort of shenanigans until the final stretch where Kurou somehow has managed to turn the grimoire filled with emotions. I know books give humans who read them lots of emotions but it’s like roles are reversed here. Can’t be separated. We’ll always be together. And even during that short stint of Al Azif’s absence, they come back stronger (because absence makes the heart grow fonder?), more emotional drama between them before the happy ending of them being finally together. Phew. Sounds pretty confusingly straightforward.

If I had to pick the best character of this series, it is by no doubt the good evil doctor West. Yes, he is the only reason why my face and smile light up watching this series. I never get tired in seeing him stride into the scene with his nonsense because that’s just who he is. Even if he is clearly written as a comic relief character and joker, this flamboyant dude who is always at his own pace and rocking with his electric guitar if he isn’t tinkering with his machine, he is what made watching this series tolerable. Being an idiot is perhaps a double edged sword that contributes to his success and downfall. Too bad this fool didn’t get much of a screen time ever since he left Black Lodge. Yeah, I suppose this guy is too big to be part of Anticross either. It felt like they scaled him back although his flamboyant outburst is still there. Can’t take that away from him. Never change, West. Never change. This guy should’ve been the f*cking hero to pilot Demonbane and save the world! Who knows what kind of ending we’ll get. But I bet it would’ve been an interesting one with this guy at the handles!

The rest of the characters feel redundant or at least close to that. For example, Ruri. I guess her role is so that we know where Demonbane comes from. I mean, it just can’t fall down from the sky like that, right? Somebody has to create and own it, right? And what better way for a rich girl of dead parents acting as the leader of a wealthy company to have all its resources to maintain and repair it. Seriously, her revenge against Black Lodge feels so secondary that it feels forgettable. Sure, she can’t pilot Demonbane and perhaps that’s why. Otherwise, she’s just, well, I won’t say she is as bratty as Al Azif but she’s still a rich oujo-sama and has some standards to her. Hence her role is like holding on the codes for an ultimate move before they decided she won’t be any further use and thus passing it to Kurou just like that. Should’ve just given it to him in the first place. Or did she not trust him that much? Or do they need to force that kissing scene? If that’s all to her, I guess this says a lot about Winfield too. Just a loyal butler who protects her. And she has maids who double as staffs at the command centre to monitor Demonbane. Yeah, I can’t remember their names.

I thought Leica would have some sort of important role later on but I guess she’s just a sister for some mini diversion. Very irrelevant to the story and I suppose the only reason Kurou has ties with her is that this broke guy needs to go somewhere to get his free food. Ennea. Something feels weird they introduced a character and killed her off by the end of the same episode. If I was paying slightly more attention, I should’ve seen it coming that she would return for the plot twist. And then get killed off again. Wow. Loli died twice. I mean, what’s the point of throwing a mysterious amnesiac character and to never let her see the light again? Eventually, Al Azif is the only loli for Kurou. Nero FKA Ennea dead. Elsa lost her memories for him (it feels that she is just being playful with her flirting rather than anything serious). Ruri got a corporation to run. See what I mean?

Remember that Lily reporter from the OVA? I was also expecting her to pop up somewhere but too bad that didn’t happen. Speaking of the OVA, it came out 2 years before the TV series and those who watched it then may have been confused and unsatisfied with the rushed outcome of it all that amounted to nothing. Well, looking back in hindsight, the OVA felt like one big promotional stint to promote the game back then. It was just to introduce Demonbane and nothing else really mattered.

Black Lodge as the antagonists, well, as an organization as a whole, they’re pretty paltry and bland. Not to mention pretty cliché either because with such an organization like them, they have to have elites. Anticross, people! Such groups are claimed to be the best of the best but looking back in hindsight, they’re just slightly better than the average. Their roles only serve to make Demonbane stronger because how else is this Deus Machina gonna grow and showcase us his awesome arsenal of firepower? Unfortunately some Anticross don’t get too much attention especially like Augustus who is Therion’s right hand man. And then he just get killed off so easily? Plot twist, sure. He is not the final boss our heroes should be fighting! Vespasianus also feels redundant and perhaps the only Anticross whom Kurou didn’t get to face off. Even Titus had his short bout with Kurou despite his fight with Winfield is largely side-lined. And the big boss himself, I should’ve guessed he would return in the end after being killed off so fast by his own men, but even the final fight with Kurou didn’t last long enough. Yeah, we’re running out of time so better rush and reveal Naia as the puppet master and finish her off. Because Therion isn’t such a bad guy, he gets some sort of salvation too. Heck, I don’t see how Black Lodge terrorized Arkham in this series. Even so it was because West was running about with his failed mecha contraptions and faceless goons. I wonder if Batman would have had an easier time if this was his Arkham. Heh.

The action parts are okay. This being mecha genre so I guess they have to pull off all the big flashy robot moves. It’s amazing Arkham still stands despite all the big mecha stomping around. Anyway, Demonbane has his fair share of arsenal but nothing really extraordinary. He’s got his Atlantis Strike and Lemuria Impact and a few others but that’s just about it. Hey, it’s an anime of the 2000’s. Big huge mecha fights over the city we’ve got. Is there anything more we should ask for?

The art and animation really do reflect the style of that era so you can say it is pretty dated. There are some CGI effects used especially on the Deus Machina. Although not a masterpiece, they are at least a lot better than some of the CGI quality that is used in today’s anime! I kid you not. You thought today’s 3D technology would be better but I still continue to see horrible CGI renditions in certain scenes. Perhaps the quality of the animation was not so good back then and hence it helped to cover up the CGI shortfall? But I still think it looks better compared to today’s ones. I also want to point out that the design of Demonbane, isn’t the mecha one big ugly mother?! I don’t know, it has a face! Ugly face! What’s more, WTF does Demonbane need to have huge knee horns or something?! It feels so clumsy?! How the f*ck those this Deus Machina fight efficiently with it?! It also has huge arms and huge legs but the torso area so thin! Feels like it could snap any time. I also read that this series made some design changes to some of the Deus Machina (like Dagon) but I didn’t see the original works so I can’t compare. This anime was done by View Works and this series has been their only ever production till today. Not sure if they have closed down or become inactive. Their website since inaccessible.

Voice acting, it’s nice to hear some old recognizable seiyuus like Norio Wakamoto as Augustus, Jouji Nakata as Titus and Takehito Koyasu as Winfield. But my favourite one definitely goes to Takumi Yamazaki as West (Kayneth in Fate/Zero, Bansai in Gintama, Kanjurou in One Piece). This guy’s joker voice definitely fits this joker character like a glove and I’ll never tire listening to his antics. If only he had a spinoff series… The other casts are Kentaro Ito as Kurou (Renji in Bleach), Rie Kanda as Al Azif and Etheldreda (Erika in Fortune Arterial), Junko Asami as Ruri (Freya in Detective Loki Ragnarok), Hikaru Midorikawa as Therion (Lancer in Fate series), Mia Naruse as Nero/Ennea (Anri in Happiness), Mikako Satou as Elsa (Suzuka in Lamune), Nami Kurokawa as Leica (Sayaka in Yaoke Mae Yori Ruri Iro Na – Crescent Love) and Ai Orikasa as Naia (K.K. in Kekkai Sensen).

The opening theme, Evil Shine by Yuichi Ikuzawa fits the theme of the series well because of its rock outfit. He also sings the opening and ending themes for the OVA, Hito, Kami, Hata – Man God Machine and Redeem Your Dream respectively. I somewhat prefer the latter as it is a slow rock. But the one I love best is the insert song by Masatoshi Ono, Cry Of Vengeance. Playing with the montage of Kurou being depressed over the loss of Al Azif as he plans his next step in revenge may be weird, but the song is pretty cool itself. The only combo breaker from all these rock outfits is the ending theme plays to a slower ballad, Modern Rose by Kanako Itou.

Overall, this anime isn’t a good one but it is not that bad that it will be occupying my top 10 worst animes of the year. I was all pretty average and cliché to me before the complicating final stretch. There were dumb stuffs, there were unimpressed stuffs. Seriously, no matter how much I love West and love his silly antics, he himself isn’t enough to save this anime overall. He’s just a mad doctor, not a God. Could he be Batman’s Riddler in another alternate dimension? Nah! Not sure if Lovecraft fans would find this an insult but in the case they do, I think that comedy Nyaruko one should be a bigger insult. And mecha fans would definitely be spoilt for choice in getting better mecha animes. Yeah, Gundam and Macross should be the basic start and recommendations. But as far as this series is concerned, for better or worse, there have been no news about remakes or reboots. Otherwise we’ll have to throw that smarty pants guy into Arkham Asylum along with this mediocrity. You’ll have all the time in the world to watch it over and over again for eternity!

Idol Fight Suchie-Pai 2

24 September, 2021

Before there was Saki, there was this, uhm, what the heck is this Idol Fight Suchie-Pai 2?! I don’t even know how I stumbled upon this retro OVA about mahjong. Of course, curiosity got the better of me so you bet I’m going to take a look at this single OVA that came out in 1996. Heh. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen, right? Oh sh*t, I think I just jinxed it…

May the best hand win…
Oh wow. Opening narration about some legendary tile that could grant wishes. And if you have a dark greedy heart, it amplifies that evil. Wow. Whatever. We see a doctor examining a patient. The moment she asks her patient to strip, her pet bunny, Milk transforms into a furry Playboy girl? Anyway, her goal is to take over the world. Sensei gets so scared and that’s because she has a vivid imagination after reading lots of sci-fi books. Turns out Milk just takes their clothes and considers her domination of the hospital complete. Oh right. Seifuku = world conquest or uniform. WTF… Now we see the maid, Sanae Makieda being bullied by her oujo-sama and accused of breaking a vase. Her papa comes to add misery. He doesn’t care if she can compensate. It’s not about the money. It’s about the feelings of the vase. Huh? Because he is going to break her arm to make her feel the vase’s pain! WTF?! But suddenly Sanae transforms into some dominatrix BDSM queen! Time to whip and turn the tables on you perverted geezer! Crotch step! Oujo-sama returns in an equally pathetic dominatrix outfit and thinks as the bully queen, nobody can outdo her. How wrong she is. She gets owned right away. The bully gets bullied. Alice Shinohara is some idol waiting to perform on stage. Before the curtain raises, it seems she transforms and whisks away, leaving her band and the fans wondering where the f*ck she disappeared to. At a construction site, Tsukasa Ichimonji saves a colleague from a falling beam. Later during lunch, the guys mock how Tsukasa is so strong that she isn’t even a woman. Heck, she might not even be human! Tsukasa heard all that and feels sad. Hey, even cyborgs have feelings too, you know!

Kyoko Misaki bumps into Shiho Katagiri. I think they are going to play mahjong. Nearby, a woman enters a shed to meet a friend but she sees her being killed off by a cat girl monster as she is eating her corpse! OMFG!!! Now that she has seen this, she must die! Apparently Milk, Alice and Sanae are all waiting for their moment because this Pinzu Monster is the legendary tile that they all want to get. Kyoko and Shiho argue who should go call the cops when suddenly Tsukasa barges into the scene with her jeep. That legendary tile is mine! And then everyone starts arguing it’s theirs. Tsukasa uses her machine to blow Pinzu away! Uhm, did Pinzu regenerate?! WTF she claims that could kill her?! This violent scene has Shiho passed out so it is chance for Kyoko to transform into Suchie Pai! Yes, she is also one of the candidates who is after the legendary tile. It starts to get messy as everybody fights everybody, everybody sabotaging everybody. It’s just f*cking chaotic. Even Pinzu is annoyed she has been ignored! In the end, Suchie Pai does some tornado move to blow everybody away. WTF that killed Pinzu?! Not sure what crystal on her forehead broke. Her body disappears and becomes the legendary tile. Before she could claim it, everybody starts fighting over it! Ah well… I guess this is going nowhere so Suchie Pai suggests since there are 9 more tiles like this, why not work together to get them? Absolutely not! And the petty fight among themselves continues…

Meh-jong Idol Losers…
WTF did I just see?! WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! Well, my guess was that this OVA served as some sort of introduction and promotion for the eroge of this franchise in the 90’s. I’m not really a mahjong fan so I don’t really care. So I suppose if you are a fan of that strip mahjong game, you’ll be familiar with the characters that popped up here. Otherwise, newbies like yours truly would definitely be totally lost. Not sure what the f*ck is going on and what the heck that kind of ending is supposed to be. I mean, everything feels so paltry and mediocre. The animation may reek 90’s style but it has very obvious poor quality. Even the fanservice is so weak. Not even free bare tits shown. Just a few moments of the girls in lingerie here and there. That’s it. So are they saying if you want to see more, go play the game? I don’t know. Not sure if the game’s ecchi elements are mild but I guess back then, it might be considered brazen enough. But by today’s standards, let’s say no red blood cells will be rushing to blow up the penis and create so much of a boner.

And finally, the characters. Mediocre and confusing. Inconclusive. Like I said, they’re just introducing the characters of the game so those who are not familiar with the series will be lost and asking who the f*ck these girls who can magically transform into their alter egos are. It is not even explained the basics of why they want to get the legendary tile but I can guess each of them have their own wishes. For example, I believe Tsukasa wants to be totally human and no more an android. Sanae doesn’t want to be bullied anymore. Alice’s could be wanting to return to the magic world since she is lamenting about being an idol right now. Milk… Not even sure why this bunny wants clothes?! WHY?! Kyoko AKA Suchie Pai I suppose is the main character and the poster girl of the series and she doesn’t get a lot of coverage like the other characters so it is anyone’s guess what her wish is. And they make everybody fighting everybody in the end, what a huge f*cking mess. Hey, I thought it was supposed to have something to do with mahjong?! Hey, at least saves my brain from all those f*cking mahjong terms! If that free for all scene was supposed to be funny, cringe is the better word. Or just WTF.

Overall, this single OVA feels like a waste of time but I didn’t regret it since I was curious to watch it. Now that my curiosity has been satiated, I can tell this is just really crap! I don’t know if this is some psychological move because since this OVA is really low quality, the only way to blow away all that disappointment is to go play the eroge itself! I don’t know. 90’s porn and eroge feel so dated. Not even a mahjong fan to begin with. So mahjong + fighting + idols = not a very good combination. I can see why it never caught on despite the game has a few other versions and releases throughout the years. I don’t think that is even popular. I mean, can’t find any decent info about it on the web. Ah well, I’m glad I’m done with it and time to move on. Such a pity, bye… Bad pun intended…

Oh, I see this too got a sequel. I thought this would be one of those titles that were going to be forgotten forever after having its first season. Never to be given a sequel and see another daylight again. But looks like once more (and very often) I am proven wrong. I suppose we didn’t have much ‘dedicated’ ecchi fanservice series for the season, hence Isekai Maou To Shoukan Shoujo No Dorei Majutsu Omega as I recall, is the only one in Spring 2021 to have such a label. No people, that combatants-from-an-evil-organization-despatched-to-scout-another-world anime isn’t really an ecchi anime if you think about it. Okay, maybe just a bit. Not even that crappy full dive anime too. Okay, maybe just a bit too. But not as blatantly fanservice-y as this one. So where else can we have hot cute (and some busty) girls as fapping materials for this season? That’s right. This series got lucky to be slotted in for that particular season. Me? I’m just trying to follow up what happened after the first season that I could barely remember. HONEST!

Episode 1
Lumachina Weselia is being chased by some tranny paladin. He unleashes his monster mushroom to do tentacle rape on her! But since she is praying so hard to God to rescue her, here comes Diablo dropping down! May I remind you he is a Demon Lord. Yeah, how not to summon a God?! Oops. Wrong title! Diablo was in the vicinity testing out his new magic. He spotted some magic activity nearby and got too close. Despite Diablo’s attempts to clear the air that he is no God, Lumachina insists he is one. I guess he can’t bring himself to tell her since she is half naked in her undies. Yeow! Nice fanservice! No matter what tricks the tranny pull, Diablo is better and eventually freezes the entire surroundings. Shera and Rem come by and think Diablo assaulted another woman. Oh well. Back to the inn! Lumachina asks the ladies of their relation to ‘God’. How should they put it… Lumachina continues to insist Diablo is her God because he has seen her naked body. Because if he isn’t, they must be wedded! WTF… No wonder Shera and Rem blowing their top about the pecking order. Yeah… So to be clear about Diablo, let’s ask the guy himself. Who is he? Diablo thinks revealing himself as a Demon Lord to someone of the church is bad but he can’t have her keep calling him as so. Hence he says his identity must be kept hidden and Lumachina agrees to play along. Lumachina then further explains she is the head priest of the church. Working under the church are cardinals and there are paladins who are the military might of these cardinals. One of the cardinals decided to kill her most probably of her investigation of corruption of within the church. Hence she was on her way from the royal capital through Faltra to the old Demon Lord’s domain to reach Battuta, the head paladin of that region to explain the current state to him. As a noble guy, she believes he will protect her. Too bad her personal paladin, Tria was done in by tranny’s monster along the way. With Rem and Shera wanting to help Lumachina and egging Diablo to do so, he is in a pinch. He really does want to help her but doesn’t want to go all out with a confrontation with the church. However if it’s just escorting her to Zircon Tower… Deal! When Krebskulm and Edelgard enter the room, oh dear, you can sense the agents of light and darkness are going to tear each other apart! Luckily Diablo stops them. You dare risk a commotion at his ire! Pipe down! And so Diablo, Rem and Shera begin their escort mission to Zircon Tower. Krebskulm and Edelgard are left behind at Faltra but don’t worry, they are left in the care of their friends like Mei, Sylvie, Celes and oh God, Emile too? Before their parting, Krebskulm upgrades Shera’s bow. Uhm, doesn’t it look cursed now?

Episode 2
Arriving at the city, Diablo meets a kid who seems to know about Zircon Tower, Horn. From the way she explains it, it is definitely the Diablo’s tower. However, trouble loom as Lumachina ticks off a paladin who abused a woman and her sickly child. Damn guy is about to beat her up too but luckily Diablo shows him his place. Tending to the woman, Diablo recognizes the disease her child is having. Very close to death, the only saving grace is a miracle. But how do you get one when the church charges a hefty sum?! Oh yeah. Lumachina going to perform her miracle. It works! Damn, you mean she hasn’t tried this before? What the heck does she do as a head priest besides praying?! But here’s another problem: A monster sand whale is going to collide with the city! I hope this sand whale isn’t from another wrong anime… Time for God, uhm, I mean Diablo to show his skills. Anxious of course but believe in yourself! However the spell didn’t activate and the monster is put down by 2 different great spells. One of them is Battuta who looks like a thug boss? Once he sees Lumachina, he beats up his man for being rude to the head priest. The great power is from Fanis Laminitus who is the governor of this place. Apparently both Battuta and Laminitus don’t get along. She calls the church swindlers as they demand huge amounts of donation but do very little. On the other hand, Battuta blames her for shutting down the church and hence they have no choice but to rely on donations. Seeing that Lumachina is all preachy, Laminitus decides to test her if God really protects her. As she is about to shoot her, Battuta and Diablo swiftly try to protect her. Laminitus backs down and has proven her point. Had she believed in God, there was no need for these guys to move. Anyway, it seems that both of them are interested in the guy who unleashed a huge magic on the sand whale. That’s you, Diablo. Better keep a low profile. You’re wanted. As Battuta brings them back to his mansion, they see a long line of poor people outside a tent. They’re waiting for days to perform a miracle since Laminitus shut down the church. And there’s the line for those who donate greatly. Yeah. Short of priests so I guess they have to prioritize those who gave more. Sad. Oh Lumachina, you’re not up to the task of performing free miracles now? I guess we almost forgotten about this episode’s fanservice as we see Shera coming to rub Diablo’s back in the bath. And then troll us as she rubs his hard and thick thingy… Yeah, those are his horns, baby… Sheesh…

Episode 3
Lumachina talks to Battuta about the disease. It is actually a curse. Because as she was praying, she heard someone’s voice chanting the curse. When asked if he knows anything about it, oh man, you mean he reveals his true colours as the culprit?! But a sleeping scent knocks out Lumachina and Rem. Horn interrupts Diablo’s bath time just to tell him that Battuta has kidnapped his girls. This isn’t surprised to Diablo as he expected this but didn’t expect him to move so fast. Lumachina and Rem are in an underground dungeon. WTF people f*cking all around?! Battuta reveals this evil ooze created out from the evil desires of humans. So all the faithful followers have been forced to commit sins here. This ooze will then turn into that curse. He is doing it just to get Laminitus. Why? Because he’s just pure evil. Battuta leaves it to Shiliu to corrupt Lumachina but before anything could happen, here comes God Diablo. He knows this place and everything else thanks to the game. Battuta has the last laugh since they’re fighting on the stairs, the walls and ceilings are vulnerable so Diablo has to be careful not to crush others below. Also, this leaves Battuta anticipating his moves as he stabs right through Diablo’s heart?! OMG?! He’s dead?! Thanks to his gear allowing him to take any fatal damage and auto healing, he returns as he grabs onto Battuta and uses a spell to freeze his entire body. However Battuta cuts off his arm. Then Shiliu takes Rem hostage. Give up if you know what’s good for you. Luckily Shera uses her upgraded bow to shoot at her. Shiliu turns into stone thanks to the bow’s horrifying upgrade effects. Oh sh*t… With no way out, Battuta sacrifices his own life just to kill everybody but you know, Diablo is more powerful. You old fart can just die yourself. With the whole place collapsing, it’s time to escape. Meanwhile Laminitus is attacked by Varakness, one of the generals of the Demon Lord’s army. Due to his awakening, he wants all mortals to surrender and commit suicide. A much better alternative than being devoured, right? Of course Laminitus says no but Varakness won’t kill her and will admit her into his harem. He’ll pick her up by the next full moon. Lumachina isn’t feeling well. Oh dear. There’s the sign of the curse. Looks like Battuta managed to place it before he died. Lumachina accepts her fate from God but Diablo tells her off she can’t die due to a curse and reminds her that she has to straighten out the corruption inside the church. He’ll lend his powers if she so needs them. And just like, Lumachina vows to live. He has Horn take them to his tower to get an item that would dispel the curse.

Episode 4
As they’re about the depart, Laminitus’ and her army surround them. She is suspicious of Diablo and wants to know if he is the Demon Lord that Varakness spoke off. Diablo tries to sound cool so as not to be socially awkward but this of course ruins it. Yeah, he admits he is a Demon Lord from another world. The rest try to cover for him especially Lumachina claiming they’re heading to a tower to cure her disease. Laminitus is now more interested to know more about it and orders their capture. However Diablo uses his spell to shake the ground and make their escape. After a safe distance and resting, Diablo ponders why Laminitus didn’t shoot them at their back since she was in a clear position to do so. Meanwhile Gewalt (that tranny paladin) talks to Laminitus and claims he is here to protect Lumachina. Too bad she tells him what happened. A guard then comes in to report Diablo’s whereabouts. Diablo’s group head into the tower. One of the first obstacles is a maze. Horn’s map is useless as it keeps changing. So how? Diablo blasts a straight beam through the walls!!! There. I guess we also need some blatant fanservice where the ladies take off their clothes. Yeah. Because they’re in the hot lava area and if they answer the question wrong, their gondola sinks a level closer to the level and perhaps the ladies taking further off a piece of their clothing?! Thankfully they got it right in the end. Then they reach a stage whereby monster apes are waiting. Since Diablo knows what this is and how to pass this stage, now he will become a producer and train the girls to dance like idols! Then they hit the stage and wow those monkeys. So good they want an encore?! Now to show their fighting chop as they fight lowly monsters while crossing a narrow strip right above the raging rapids. However a monster worm is summoned to attack and separate them. Turns out to be Gewalt and as he is about to kill Lumachina, Horn dives at him. Both falling into the rapids. Diablo won’t allow his member to die like that so he too dives in. You girls better not follow. Yeah, just stay safe there and be dumbfounded.

Episode 5
Thanks to Diablo’s swimming skills, he manages to save Horn and pull her up to safety. The only cost is that he lost his staff. So he tries to get her naked to keep her warm, not knowing that she is a girl! So when he didn’t see any dick… Oh sh*t! Horn also wakes up and misinterprets this rape scene! Thankfully Diablo covered himself with his flimsy Demon Lord act. He asks why she dresses like a man. As Horn was abandoned by his parents, it would be best if she dressed up like a man if she was to live alone. WTF Horn now starting to call Diablo her papa?! Better get moving before this turns into a weird direction. The other ladies stay positive to clear other floors of the dungeon. In the final room, looks like Gewalt is still alive and kicking ass. Lumachina here means making his job easier to kill her. As he summons his familiars to get her, cue for you-know-who to save her. Oh wait. You mean it’s not Diablo?! But a black dragon?! He is going to kill all of them so Gewalt thinks he can defeat this creature by summoning his trump card, Ifrit. Too bad the dragon vaporizes his fire familiar in a sec. And then one smack of its tail to kill Gewalt. But what’s this? Lumachina praying to God to heal this dude? That’s Lumachina for you. The dragon is going to kill them still and it’s about time Diablo turns up to save the day. Without his staff, his spells take slightly longer to use. Just slightly. But still, he kicks ass. Yeah, I guess Demon Lord > black dragon. Know your place. The dragon tries to retreat but he is killed off by a sexy robo maid, Rose for trying to abandon his post. Diablo remembers her and when he says his ‘name’ @Diablo-13, Rose immediately recognizes her master. Welcome back. She takes him to his treasure room as his harem learns he created this entire dungeon. This white ox statue has the ability to repel the curse so Lumachina uses it and feels the power of God flowing through her. Yeah… Weird orgasmic moans… It’s like God is f*cking her. And that confirmation is when she says God has come inside her!!! OMFG!!! Her curse is healed of course. Diablo gets a cool new armour getup. Horn gets a feminine one. Rem a very skimpy one. So this makes her faster and more powerful? Yeah, video game armour logic if you ask me. Shera who isn’t skilled enough doesn’t get any so she just gets a treasure ring. Rose feels envious that he now has a harem so to pacify her, Diablo gives her a hairpin. That will do. Lumachina can now take the ox back to the city to heal the rest but Rose points out it would be dangerous. The Demon Lord’s army led by Varakness is attacking. Liar. Didn’t even wait for the new moon.

Episode 6
Laminitus’ men get slaughtered left and right. Yeah, Varakness is here to collect her into his harem. Just when Laminitus thought she killed Varakness with a direct shot through the heart, one of his harem babes kiss him back to life. The massacre continues and it would’ve been the end of the mortals had not Diablo and his harem came to the rescue. How did they arrive so fast? Why, teleportation of course! Diablo claims he isn’t protecting the mortals but will not allow others to call themselves as army of the Demon Lord without his permission! Silly, but oh well, his groupie is the one who packs a power punch as it is their turn to turn the tables and slaughter the demons. Diablo is going to face Varakness directly. He gets madder upon seeing this dude making out with his harem! He’s going to f*cking kill that guy! As his babes try to attack back, Diablo deflects their own magic and kills them outright. Varakness looking pretty scared as his wives get decimated. Yeah, you’re all alone now, dude. As much as Varakness tries to struggle in vain to just hit him once, cool cat Diablo just evades them all and mocks him. Whatever tricks he has are also in vain as Diablo unleashes the final blow to kill him off. Flawless victory! The entire town celebrates this victory to honour Diablo. Diablo notes Horn isn’t at her seat. Apparently she is being cornered at some alley by her ex-comrades who are asking her for protection money. The last straw came when they badmouth her friends. Horn fights back to prove otherwise. But don’t fear, Diablo is here. These low life punks aren’t even worth being seen getting defeated. All we see is the aftermath of them in the dumpster. Diablo carries Horn back and lets her cry. So if she’s not crying, then is her eyes sweating then?! Hahaha! Okay, stop with the jokes, don’t ruin Horn’s moment…

Episode 7
Oh f*ck!!! Laminitus in sexy garb trying to f*ck Diablo!!! OMFG!!! Diablo you lucky bastard!!! Too bad this cherry boy chickens out!!! WHAT A WASTE!!! Diablo and co return to Faltra as their pit stop to rest before proceeding to the royal capital. Yeah, time to give the other characters some screen time. Lumachina wants to visit the local church despite there is a chance the local cardinals might be after her life. It’s because she wants to offer her prayers to those who recently died in the battle against the Fallen. Shera offers to bring her there. Oh, Emile too? Too bad that’s all you get to appear because Sylvie tells Diablo that Edelgard is currently working part time at a bakery. And of course, Krebskulm is the eternal customer there ordering biscuits. Not bread, but biscuits. Keep those biscuits coming! Suddenly a few guys threaten the bakery boss and force him to buy some expensive stuff as protection money. Normally Diablo doesn’t want to get involved but when those guys accidentally destroy Krebskulm’s biscuits… Oh sh*t! She could’ve actually killed them and blow up this entire place had not Diablo tell her not to. It is explained those jerks are from the Measmos family. They have been harassing people of late and because they are very smart and shady in doing things, the local knights have not been able to arrest them. Okay then. Time to pay these jerks a visit. Each time, Diablo has to warn his overpowered babes not to kill them. Yeah, these ladies think nothing of murder! Even the big sub-boss got kicked in the crotch by Krebskulm. Ouch! So much for his toughness. They finally meet Measmos himself. A puny shabby old dude? He tries to bribe them to get on his side but as usual, they want to kill him! Diablo is at his wits’ end trying to give excuses why killing is bad but as a Demon Lord, doesn’t want to make it obvious that he is against killing. Are you confused? In the end, a twisted reasoning that he should apologize and do good deeds. Okay then. Good enough. After witnessing Krebskulm’s near fatal move, you bet he is going to be a good boy now. Later as Diablo drinks with his harem, here comes Galford. However his target is Krebskulm as he has receive suspicious reports from his undercover spies about her being the Demon Lord. He can’t let this go and will do a military investigation. Just then, the bakery boss says Measmos has apologized and refunded all their money. He also notes Demon Lord is just the name of their shop. With Celes and many other people here to thank her, Galford drops his investigation. I guess there is no such thing about people thanking the Demon Lord. Next day, Diablo and co depart to Seven Wall.

Episode 8
Arriving outside Seven Wall, they are immediately surrounded by guards. Luckily they are let through thanks to the influence and authority of Alicia. Still remember her? Alicia takes them back to her place. Damn, she’s filthy rich! They are treated with lots of luxury. There’s a part where Horn is given a collar where she would make a pact with Diablo. Though her powers enhanced, it means serving him forever. So when master dies, you die. Everyone is contemplating on it and even Horn herself. She looks crazy to go through it but I guess Rose got a bit jealous of getting less attention and takes back the collar. Later Alicia tries to seduce-cum-help Diablo. She can still help him despite under confinement since the king has not suspected her of resurrecting the Demon Lord. Diablo tells about Lumachina’s case so Alicia can help gather evidence. However she still thinks the kingdom is unable to punish wrongdoers and her suggestion is to use Diablo’s power to bring down the hammer of justice. That’s like, killing all the mortals, no? Meanwhile we need today’s fanservice and this time it is Rose. Seems she has been recharging herself by being next to him. However it doesn’t work if he is asleep. So how to fast charge? Long story short, Diablo has to f*ck her from the back???!!! I know, she says contact, but we all love to assume that as f*cking. And so with ambiguous angles and Rose’s moans, Diablo sticking his fingers into certain holes, she is now fully and overcharged! Alicia soon returns with heaps of evidence of the church’s wrongdoings as they used the donations for their own personal use. The big culprit is the head cardinal, Vishos and his followers. Obviously the next step is to take them down. However Lumachina wants a chance to talk to them, show them evidence and then excommunicate them. Okay girl. It’s your call. Alicia is not pleased that Lumachina views such mortals as worthy to be saved. Well, that is God’s decision to make. They make their way to the sanctuary which is a floating island. Upon arriving, lots of faithful followers give them their prayers. And then Vishos himself comes to see them. Lumachina gets down to business to accuse Vishos of sending a tranny paladin to kill her and has evidence of his wrongdoings. She then excommunicates him but Vishos calls her bluff and counters that by accusing her of not doing her duties and is doing so to hide her debauchery. Since Lumachina is a bit emotionally weak, Vishos orders his men to arrest them. Horn manages to slip out and escape. Diablo wants to take action but Lumachina forbids any spilling of blood. In that case, Diablo blasts the church’s symbol so as to make way for them to head up to the sanctuary.

Episode 9
So they’re playing by the rules? Because Diablo and his harem get locked up in a cell while Lumachina gets ‘special treatment’ to be locked up elsewhere. Even so, Lumachina prays for God to have mercy on Vishos’ soul. Vishos doesn’t care, though. Because God will soon be his to control! Diablo can easily break free but he believes it isn’t what Lumachina wants. He can say that because he has options… Meanwhile Horn is packing up and trying to flee. Believe the girls have Diablo and everything will be okay? Yeah, time for her subconscious to play some guilty mind tricks. Suddenly this mini fairy (in a high school uniform?) pops up from the Holy Grail treasure. She is Babalon and can help her level up. She already received her blood payment so it’s good to go. However it didn’t work. Scammed? Horn remembers at Diablo’s treasure room, she wanted to go pee but Rose told her off there are no such rooms! Hence she had to make haste and answer the call of nature in this pot AKA Holy Grail?! So I guess it isn’t blood and that’s why it didn’t work, huh? Anyway, Babalon senses an item that could help level her up. Yup, it’s that collar. Horn decides to become Diablo’s servant and puts it on. Now that she is powered up, what is her power? To charm others?! WTF?! Oh well, all the guards love her and let her pass! But she must do her cringe cutie pie feminine pose for it to be effective. Yeah…

So as Horn manages to find Diablo’s cell and trying to pick the lock, a paladin summons a wolf and fatally wounds her. So what now Diablo? You have options now? He blasts open the door. He heals Horn while letting his ladies keep the paladin at bay. Diablo thanks Horn for opening his eyes with her actions. All this while he was trying to play by the rules but that isn’t very Demon Lord-like. Accepting Horn as his minion, he will take responsibility of her for the rest of his life. Yay! Now she’s officially part of the harem. Now we see Diablo go up against the paladin. At first he is stumped by the speed but once he gets into his groove, just summon a huge rock and squash that pesky paladin! Evil! Diablo then projects a giant image of himself in the sky. Calling all the believers below to have strayed from God’s teachings, he will now hand his judgment to them. So where’s their God now, huh?! A few lightning strikes and then he calls for the person closest to God to face him. This is to lure out Lumachina. She appears and Diablo relishes all goes according to plan. Now Lumachina must strike him down as he pretends to lose so as to regain the trust of the believers. But guess what? Lumachina accepts their strayed path and wrongdoings that she and all are willing to accept their punishment! Let us all die and ascend to heaven together!!! OH SH*T! You mean Diablo has to kill everybody now?! But thanks to Vishos being a greedy villain, his plans to eliminate Diablo along with Lumachina together has him unleash Europa, the God of Destruction! I can see where this is going now…

Episode 10
So Vishos has combined with Europa to become God, huh? More like a Demon Lord… Of course Diablo knows all about this weapon of destruction from Cross Reverie, however he still finds it hard to beat it because of its hard enchantment armour. Furthermore, WTF Lumachina standing there and going to take in Europa’s blast?! Is her faith in God that high?! Well, if Diablo is here God… He rescues her but notes despite his high level skills, his solo playing has him realize he doesn’t have any skills to protect others. Diablo tries to take on Vishos but Rose gets in the way to help him but gets blow into smithereens! Well, I hope that powers up Diablo to beat the sh*t out of him for destroying his property. Diablo stalls Vishos’ attacks until Lumachina finishes her prayers. Woah. Did she power up with God? Actually, all the believers now put their faith behind Lumachina so their light prayers reach her. God decide to do something, huh? This allows Europa’s armour to become undone. With that, Europa is just some weak ass raid boss as Diablo destroys the weapon of mass destruction along with Vishos. Meanwhile Rem goes to see who has being killing off Vishos’ men and it turns out to be Gewalt. He gives her a key to a dungeon. Now Diablo must make his final show as he tells all the believers to remember this feeling. This is true faith! See ‘ya later! Lumachina uses Gewalt key to unlock a cell that holds Tria. So she’s alive…

In the aftermath, Rose is recuperating fine as Lumachina notes the church has lots to do to repair their reputation. She also notes that Gewalt has been hired by somebody to silence Vishos’ men and that means their investigations will get harder. She needs people whom she can rely on and wants Diablo to be the head paladin. Of course Diablo sucks at group activities and tells her what she needs isn’t him. She misinterprets that she will become drunk with power like Vishos. Okay. We’ll go with that. Since she believes in him, Diablo hints that he isn’t God. It’s okay because she too hints that her feelings for him now are more than that. Finally, this episode’s fanservice involving Shera and Rem getting into some bathtub shenanigans with Diablo. Yeah… It seems Horn has somehow been freed from Diablo’s contract as she will stay in the royal capital to learn magic. Under Alicia’s tutelage. Oh sh*t… Diablo and his babes return to Faltra as we see clips of how well they’re doing. Even Laminitus hints of going there to seduce him. Watch out… Shera shows off the ring she got from Diablo’s treasure. That’s like a marriage ring, right? Rem feels left out and wants one too. So the easiest way is to go on a quest to find one? So Shera not intending to monopolize Diablo for herself? Nope. She thinks it’s better they all have Diablo together! We’re going to love this harem alright…

Omae Ga, Oh-meh-Gawd…
And so ends another great adventure by Diablo. Considering all his successful exploits, he should’ve been God of this world by now. He also should be targeted by all those who view him as a threat to their goals. So the irony of trying to lie low but end up helping others that blow up into something so large a scale, Diablo seems to be doing fine as a hikikomori otaku. I mean, this dude already took on the church and a Demon Lord general. Next up should be God and this world’s Demon Lord. That won’t amount to any sweat, right?

On a trivial note, I wonder if this season is the last season?! What am I saying?! Because with Omega in the title, you know what that means, right? That’s right. The last alphabet in the Greek alphabet. Oh my! Gasp! Is this really the last season?! Or could it just be coincidence? Because Omega could just be a reference to Diablo. Because he is God, as in I am Alpha (male) and Omega! Oh wait. Sorry. I meant, Demon Lord. He is the beginning and the end! He is your God! Oh damn. Sorry again. I meant Demon Lord. Damn, this is confusing…

Basically this is what I see generally the plot of this season: To add more girls into Diablo’s harem! At least just for this season. Oh yeah. That’s the simplest way to put it, don’t you think? Because otherwise do you still remember the original plot to find a way to unbind the Enslavement Ritual on Shera and Rem? No? Still remember that this is actually some game that Diablo AKA Takuma is trapped in and that he is still trying to find a way to get to the bottom of how the f*ck he got here in the first place? No? Okay then. Let’s have a new adventure for this second season instead. And that’s how you got Diablo get his hands involved with the church and their whatever religion thingy in here.

Basically it’s such a big irony that the church who are supposed to be the good people and helping others are the biggest crooks, hiding behind the name of God and using it to satisfy their own desires. It’s like God doesn’t even exist in this world, huh? And if that irony wasn’t enough, that ‘God’ in the name of a Demon Lord from another world, acts a lot very much like a hero. Not the most sacred of heroes that you might expect but at least compared to corrupted cardinals, greedy cardinals and dishonoured church officers, Diablo is a way better hero. He might not look the part but he is. Also remember, he is the main character. Yeah. That’s that. So even if God does exist in this world (or should I still refer it as game?), you’re really screwed up if God sends this Demon Lord to bring salvation or punishment to you. Like as though the Almighty doesn’t want to dirty His hands and has this dude to the job instead. Yeah, I know it doesn’t make sense. Lots of things in real life too doesn’t make sense!

Anyway, Diablo is still the Diablo we all know from the first season. So as to live up to his Demon Lord title, hence the occasional ‘act’ of being prideful, boastful, conceited, etc. But underneath that exterior, we know he is just a game junkie so we often hear another monologue of his other softer inner side. Yes, he is scared and anxious with all that but oh well, who is going to oppose the Demon Lord, right? Luckily being a powerful and overpowered demon motherf*cker helps in enhancing his badass ego. Those who don’t believe it will learn the hard way when he unleashes his God-like powers to condemn you. If you survive all that beating, that is.

With new characters being added this season, I guess the harem screen time has to be shared among the ladies now. Heck, it is going to be diminished for those from last season. For Shera and Rem, I hardly feel their impact this season. It feels like they’re there just because they are the front runners in Diablo’s harem and of course the ones wearing the slave collars. They’re just being quite minimal in their roles and nothing really memorable since whatever personally issues they had were already fleshed out in the last season. You do remember Shera had a crazy brother who wanted to rape her, right? Yeah. Let me refresh your memory. He died. And you do remember that Rem’s body was a host for Krebskulm, right? Yeah, they’re both alive and doing well. Hence other characters like Sylvie, Celes, Krebskulm, Galford, Edelgard, Emile and Alicia are reduced to mere background characters as they don’t do much this season. Can’t blame them entirely as these characters are stuck in Faltra while this season has Diablo and his girls travel to other places outside Faltra. Hence I think a single filler episode to feature Krebskulm and Edelgard when Diablo pops back for a short pit stop. Who wouldn’t want to know what our favourite cookie lover demon loli is doing right now, right?

So for the new characters, they’re either a hit or miss. But like I’ve said, they’re just there to add into Diablo’s expanding harem even if it is just for this season. I mean, what else is this series is good for and what good is a Demon Lord if he doesn’t have hot babes following and crawling at his feet, right? I’m sure Takuma the virgin will finally learn to become some sort of lady killer. Haha! Anyway, we start off with Lumachina who is really an honest to goodness character. At first perception, you might think that she is some sort of retard but that’s only because our heart is so corrupted and minds filled with suspicions. Truly indeed, she is one of those very few characters who continue to stay on the path of ultimate goodness and doesn’t stray. It’s no wonder that she is the head priest. But that strength itself is a double edged sword and a weakness because unscrupulous church officials that serve underneath her tend to want to serve their own interests. Even so, she still has faith in the enemy. Wow. God really bless her soul.

You already got an elf girl and a panther girl, what else trope to add to that harem? Add a bunny girl AKA Horn! I guess Sylvie didn’t quite cut it because she’s so flat despite wearing her dangerously cloths that hang loose over her flat plains… Heh… Anyway, it never occurred to me that Horn was masquerading as male. I mean, she was feminine enough. Maybe just her clothes that make her look slightly tomboyish. And ever since her gender reveal, there have been a few incidents trying to make Horn more feminine. Because if she is going to become Diablo’s servant, she’s got to be a lot more feminine sexy because I’m pretty sure Diablo isn’t gay. And that’s why you get that no-brainer Babalon spirit thingy giving her that charm ability. Bring out all the femininity in you, Horn! I really thought Horn will follow Diablo but I guess that will bloat his harem to redundant levels seeing Rose is the only new addition who will follow her master on his journeys. You know what they say, too many cooks spoil the broth. I DON’T THINK THIS COULD APPLY TO A HAREM but whatever. Perhaps until Horn has mastered her magic and mature a little (physically, that is), only maybe then it’ll be time for her to officially join his harem. I don’t know if the collar to become his slave is still in effect because if it could be easily taken off, why not for Shera and Rem? Unless it’s a different and easier curse altogether.

Sorry Krebskulm loli lovers, here have this seemingly tomboyish Horn instead. Different season, different bait for different sickos… Organic girls are one thing but now let’s have a little variety and add a maid robot. Cue for Rose to join in because it’ll be just lonely for her to guard his treasures for ever. Diablo himself is the most precious treasure! Tired of the Shera x Rem spat? Try some emotionless maid sarcasm and acid tongue. Definitely will increase the b*tch tension! Last but not least, I think I can’t discount Laminitus out yet. Busty archer babe for now is in charge of her city. One day she might just resign and go on a journey to look for Diablo and finish what they started! With huge tits rivalling Shera’s, can virgin boy resist the temptation of her full body seduction? Only time and his harem will tell.

Not sure why I felt bothered with this because earlier on in the first episode, Lumachina had a loyal and personal paladin who was escorting her to escape from her would be assassins. I still vividly remember that scene where she was supposedly killed off but then the way the showed it, she wasn’t. Hence at the back of my mind, I was somewhat hoping she would show up somewhere that would surprise us all, including Lumachina. She would be someone who would pivotal to some plot twist later on in the season. But she never. And it’s safe to say that I felt disappointed for being trolled. Was she just a red herring? Well, eventually it was all to make us forget and to add cherry on the cake because her sudden appearance in the final episode to show us that she is alive feels like the reward Lumachina deserves for being a good girl all the time. I suppose since Diablo won’t be following her, Lumachina now has Tria back by her side. Otherwise as far as this season is concerned, she’s very much a redundant character. Unless in future plots, Diablo will cross paths with them again.

Time to make fun of baddies’ name because I somehow find them funny. After all, they only exist so that Diablo have somebody to fight and show off his awesome God-like powers. For instance, I wonder if Vishos’ name was a pun from ‘vicious’. Yeah, that seems suitable for a one dimensional baddie like him. For some reason, I find that pronouncing or saying Gewalt’s name is like akin to vomiting. Personally, that’s how I feel not because he’s a tranny or anything else. Same case for Varakness, I don’t know why this name sounds like farting to me. Is it because if I say it too fast then it sounds like a fart sound?! WTF?! Oh my, what a strange name Battuta. Butt-doo-dah! Clamp down humans underground, butt-doo-dah! Butt-doo-dah! Evil desires ooze around, oh butt-doo-dah day! HAHAHA!!! Okay, that was so cringe…

While art and animation remain basically the same as the first season, looks like this season was done by a different studio altogether. Tezuka Productions (Black Jack, Atom Boy, Go-toubun No Hanayome) jointly did this with Okuruto Noboru (Ore Dake Haireru Kakushi Dungeon). Not that I could tell if there were any big differences in the first place. Of course, don’t forget the fanservice. Although it doesn’t spam them in our faces like every 5 seconds (hey, Shera herself is a walking fanservice bomb!), but they do serve us some when the time calls for it. The raunchiest they got was that one Diablo recharging with Rose. I’m sure that one is memorable for the road. Just like last season, sexy and funny end card illustrations to help for the end-of-the-episode blues. Oh wait. What’s this I heard that if you get the director’s cut, you’ll get more uncensored content!!! Wow. Who is ready to fork out more of your dirty money for that! Note, I’m not one of those, mind you. How to get your money’s worth of uncensored Demon Lord fanservice! Oh yeah!

Luckily they retain the old casts and the new ones joining in are Miku Itou as Lumachina (Miku in Go-toubun No Hanayome), Aoi Koga as Rose (she sounds so much like the titular character in Kaguya-sama Wa Kokurasetai – is this her reincarnation here?), Fumiko Uchimura as Horn (Mavis in Watashi Nouryoku Wa Heikinchi De Tte Itta Yo Ne), Chinatsu Akasaki as Laminitus (Yasuna in Kill Me Baby), Akane Fujita as Babalon (Sagiri in Eromanga Sensei), Kousuke Toriumi as Vishos (Nozel in Black Clover), Kazuyuki Okitsu as Gewalt (Nagare in K) and Shinnosuke Tachibana as Varakness (Tomoe in Kamisama Hajimemashita).

The opening and ending themes, EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY! and YOU YOU YOU respectively are the weirdest this season. Both sung by Yuu Serizawa with DJ Koo & Motsu. Both are very highly energetic techno dance songs. Although it is not really my cup of tea, but somehow it feels so addictive! Reminds me of Vengaboys’ Boom Boom Boom Boom but with more explosive energy! OMFG! I can’t help dance to the freaking addictive techno beat!!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!! Furthermore when you have Yuu Serizawa (voice of Shera) singing her lines in a very cute way while those DJ guys spamming their hip hop rap lines, it’s so weird but kinda addicting and fun!!! With cute chibi animations to boot, this song is hard to hate! Definitely a step way up from last season’s dramatic opener that was also heavily techno infused opener and rock ending. SOMEBODY STOP ME FROM LISTENING TO THIS SONG!!! Yeah, this even beats the insert song, Because You’re Doing Your Best sung by the quartet of Shera, Rem, Lumachina and Horn, sounds like your typical genki idol song. SOMEBODY STOP ME FROM DANCING TO THIS TUNE AGAIN!!! Okay, maybe it’s time to admit maybe I do actually like this song…

Overall, this season did what it needed to do and I guess many of us who expected such can be satisfied what we’ve got. After all, a harem of cute sexy babes mixed with some fanservice and overpowered action battles from the Demon Lord himself, was there anything else more you’d expect from this season? The characters and the story could improve, you say? Hmph. Wait for next season then. By that time, Diablo might have become God. And certainly maybe that is how not to summon a Demon Lord after all. Everybody is fighting each other and trying to become God instead of just having the best biscuits and tea. We need to know how to summon those instead. And tits too! Don’t forget the tits! World would really be a better place if we have those…

Here’s another revenge story that would shock and disgust you at the same time. I don’t know. I felt like that when I was watching Kaifuku Jutsushi No Yarinaoshi. Initially, I wasn’t expecting much from this series as a zipped through the synopsis and not paying much attention. Because it labelled ecchi and fantasy in its tags, I thought it was going to be one of those ubiquitous cheesy fanservice animes of the season. Yeah. Some cheap pantsu shots. Some cheap boobs shots. A harem maybe. Nothing out of the extraordinary that has already been tried and tested a million times. Got all the cliché fanservice ingredients covered. I’m just going to watch this and probably get that same ol’ disappointed feeling at the end. Oh yeah. How wrong I was. I’m sure many of you would too. Yeah, I should’ve noticed there wasn’t the comedy tag anywhere! I guess if you really want to go in for the revenge, you’ve got to really make it sweet, tasty and cold. It’s like all the fanservice and ecchi stuffs I watched throughout the years getting their revenge on me…

Episode 1
Keyaru stumbles into a lake that houses a star spirit. Because of his wish to have the sight of the spirits, she who wants to repay the kindness of her ancestors, grants him the Halcyon Eye that allows him to see stats and the likes. Instantly he sees what happened in his past life. A group of humans fighting against the final intense battle against the Demon Lord. Keyaru is a healer and tasked to heal them when they are out of elixirs and close to death. However this time he will not heal them. You see, when Keyaru was picked as the Healing Hero, little would he know he would be subjected to drugs and abuse. Despite being able to heal just about anything, the downside is that he relives the experiences and pain of the one being healed. It was unbearable. Many times he tried to escape but was always caught. So apparently after building up resistance and gaining countless experience from the healing, he decides to use this chance to defeat the Demon Lord and let those humans die. Keyaru defeats the Demon Lord and takes her philosopher’s stone. Flare Arlgrande Jioral who is the Magic Hero and princess of the kingdom, was the only other survivor since she kept an extra elixir. She wants him to hand over the stone but Keyaru says f*ck you, b*tch. He knows the kingdom will use this for world domination so he is going to use this and reset everything. Heal this corrupted world and go back in time before they meet. Even if he loses his memories, the scars of pain have been engraved deeply into his soul. He won’t forget all the suffering. Flare curses him as he heals the stone and begins his plan to redo the world and take everything from her. Keyaru returns to reality with his memories intact. He eats different poisons to build immunity. The day comes when Flare and her guards come to his village to take him as a hero. Despite her polite demeanour, he can tell she is just putting up a façade. Before the king, he is told to heal the arm of Kureha Krylet as she fought a high ranking demon recently. So while waiting for her return, every night Keyaru sleeps with the maids on a rotational basis to steal their skills (KEYARU YOU F*CKING BASTARD I’M SO JEALOUS!!!!). Kureha returns and the moment he heals her entire arm, he sees all her flashback and passes out. Kureha despite grateful was quickly rushed to see the king over her miraculous recovery. However Flare isn’t pleased. She thinks he is useless if he is going to pass out each time he heals and wants the priest to use drugs or brainwashing to make him useful to her in combat even if it destroys him. Keyaru was just pretending to be unconscious, relishes plotting his revenge on her.

Episode 2
Keyaru throws a tantrum that he doesn’t want to do this healing because it hurts him. Flare tries to convince him healing others will help them help others but Keyaru refuses to listen. Flare then accepts his reluctance. Then she has a maid drug his drink to pass out. The next thing he knows, he is in the dungeon being beaten up by the knight commander, Leonard. He is being drugged to be addicted to a substance, by day he is forced to heal, by night his body gets violated by other knights, male or female. While everything plays out the same way like his previous life, this time Keyaru is aware and is building more resistance to his body. One night when the king and many of the guards are away in another country, Keyaru begins his revenge as he easily breaks out of his chains via alchemy. The castle is on alert over Keyaru’s escape but soon Leonard captures him. As Keyaru said something personal, Leonard gets permission to say it to Flare in her room. Suddenly Leonard kills her guards and restrains Flare. What is the meaning of this?! From what I understand, Keyaru swapped bodies with Leonard? After stealing her magic, first he is going to make her pay by breaking her fingers. Let’s play a game. If she can withstand screaming after he breaks all her fingers, he’ll let her go. It’s a promise. Flare withstands all that until the final finger, Keyaru heals her whole hand and restarts! Distraught Flare tries to escape but this time Keyaru is going to rape her. So it’s either his rod or this burning iron rod into her body! Or both! Flare is forced to of course pick the lesser of two evils. Oh yeah, this ensuing masturbation and rape scene is actually disturbing and borderline hentai! To add to the final misery, Keyaru will erase her memory and change her face. He feels so good getting his revenge. Better than the orgasm of raping Flare, huh? In the aftermath, Keyaru escaped the castle during the commotion. He used a dead body to pose as Flare and blamed her murder on Leonard. Spotting a slightly different look, he know takes on the name, Keyarga. Flare is also with him but with a slight change in face and has no memories. He claims she is Freia and his attendant. Maybe making out will have her memories return. Didn’t. But sex was great! Felt it in your core, huh? Keyarga is satisfied with his revenge but there are more assholes to get even with so he’s going to get stronger and redo his life the way he wants it.

Episode 3
Keyarga and Freia flee the royal capital for their own best interest. They hear the people hoping that the king’s other daughter, Norn would return from her studies abroad soon. This sends a cold shiver down the duo’s spine especially for Keyarga since Norn was the one who recognized that he had regained his senses in his previous life. Don’t want to be around when this b*tch returns. For those who are still sympathizing what happened to Flare last time, this flashback should change your mind. We see her sexually and physically abusing Keyaru and teasing him with the drugs he was addicted with. Yeah, making him sucking his own dick to get the drugs?! After all that, he is then abused by Blade, the hero of the sword. She is unhappy Keyaru ‘tainted’ Flare. But as a pervert herself, she licks all over him since he touched Flare. After realizing her folly of touching a man, she beats him up. When Keyaru returns to his camp, Bullet, the hero of the gun continues to abuse him while apologizing this is his love for him. Worried he might grow old and no longer have this beautiful face, he thinks of killing him so as to forever freeze him in this beauty. Keyarga wakes up from this nightmare. But it’s a timely reminder of those he needs to seek revenge against. Keyarga and Freia enter a free town that’s filled with crime and poverty. Also, he notices the water is contaminated with monster carcasses and hence everyone is sick. In a week, an epidemic will occur. So he creates a potion of his own and sells it to a merchant, Ledra Goldman for a fee. Of course he will make more and wants half his profits. If he betrays him, he’ll take his business elsewhere. With that gold, Keyarga goes to buy a combat slave next. Only this violent ice wolf clan girl catches his eye. Despite her chains and also suffering from the disease, she still tries to attack him. But Keyarga likes it. He can tell she has some hatred towards something and makes a deal with her. If she follows him, he will allow her to get her revenge. Keyarga sees the same fate in eyes like his. He is interested to see the kind of face she puts on when she kills the person she hates so much. Meanwhile back at the royal palace, the priest realizes this isn’t Keyaru but Leonard!

Episode 4
After purchasing Setsuna, Keyarga heals her and peeks into her memories. Her clan was attacked by humans. Since she was weak, she was beaten and captured before being sold as a slave. Keyarga recognizes the man who captured her works under Leonard and leads their own secret mercenary force. When Setsuna wakes up, she attacks Keyarga, thinking he assaulted her. Freia explains Keyarga took good care of her and the evidence is that her body is cured of whatever disease. Even so, Setsuna still tries to attack him but is overpowered. Keyarga explains the reason he took off her slave collar is because he knows he is much stronger than her and doesn’t need such gimmick to control her. Putting in some sweet words that he can make her grow stronger, I guess she’s desperate enough to get revenge so looks like her first lesson is to suck his dick!!! Oh sh*t! She’s already feeling the power inside of her?! OMFG. Keyarga’s power juice! That’s not all, he’s going to continue f*cking her. Oh yeah, do you feel the power rising up from within! Keyarga must be so good that she hopes to do it with him again in the future! Oh yeah. Setsuna has sure grown stronger.

Keyarga and his women wait outside the ice wolf clan’s base where the group of mercenaries is using her female brethren to lure out other warriors. Hence Keyarga tells Setsuna to be patient as he will set the stage to get her revenge. When ice wolf warriors jump into battle, so does Keyarga. He slaughters the humans and makes his pact with the ice wolf clan. With Freia using her fire magic to thin out more of the men, it is then Setsuna’s cue to jump in and kill them all to her heart’s content. Keyarga is pleased with the smile she is putting on her face. That’s the spirit. Keyarga also notes that since Freia did not show her b*tch side ever since her memories her erased, it could be that the kingdom’s environment may have made Flare for who she is. Hence there may be replacements for Flare. Perhaps he should expand his revenge against the kingdom as well. Later Keyarga shows Setsuna a dead monster corpse contaminating their water source, the reason the ice wolf clan was stricken with illness. The humans planned this far for this. He can continue poison the river to kill all humans or heal it to heal everyone. Setsuna chooses the latter. Despite she doesn’t like humans, it won’t sit right with her to have innocent ones die. After all, the best part in her revenge is not killing them passively with poison but by her own claws. Damn, this woman might be even more corrupted than Keyarga. And he likes it. Setsuna now trusts Keyarga and tells him her true name that will give him absolute power over her. So when is the next sex? Yeah, this revenge business is starting to get good. Meanwhile the king despises Leonard for letting him get his daughter killed. But since this is because Flare trusted him, he is being given another chance to prove himself and restore his reputation. He must capture Keyaru. Leonard relishes to get revenge on this bastard. And so the vicious cycle of revenge begins here too.

Episode 5
Kureha overhears the soldiers talking about elimination of soldiers that were at the ice wolf clan’s village. Thing is, the one who wiped them all out used Kureha’s sword technique. Keyarga sees his women frolicking in the lake. Looks like he wants to have fun too. In short, orgy! Twice! Oh yeah, getting to girls to do lesbianism too, eh?! They then return to the town to see Goldman. First, they stumble into a beggar who wants him to sell his ice wolf. When he refuses, he attacks but is easily apprehended. Peeking into his memories, he sees he is one of the survivors of the attack who fled and for that, lets Setsuna kills him. Returning to see Goldman, Keyarga notes this will be the last time he will be seeing this dude because now the pollution source is gone, the illness will go away. He also expects Goldman to play dirty and as expected, his men surround Keyarga and wants him to sell the recipe. Of course Keyarga is willing to sell him for a price after threatening he can kill all of them. After all, the crucial recipe of the healing is inside Keyarga himself, something Goldman doesn’t know.

After leaving, Keyarga is attacked by Kureha who wants to know who he is for knowing her family’s sword technique. When Freia and Setsuna vouch for Keyarga that he protected the village from the soldiers pillaging, Kureha thinks they are brainwashed. This makes her more motivated to kill him and free them from his whatever spell. After she knocks them out, Keyarga becomes mad she hurt his properties. They both fight and when Kureha cuts off his arm, it is just a distraction as he heals it and then grabs he head to instil all the horrifying memories at the ice wolf clan’s village. Taking her back to his place, Keyarga wants Setsuna to teach Freia some combat skills. She also has a favour of Freia to do some acting. Because when Setsuna comes to, he tells her about the truth of the kingdom on how they obtain their slaves. If he wanted to kill her, he would’ve. But he views her sword skills to be exceptional and needs her help. He then reveals his true Keyaru face and she remembers him. But when she accuses him of killing Flare, this is where Flare herself pops up. Shocked to see she is still alive, Flare explains she faked her death and escape the castle. They were investigating the atrocities of the kingdom but Leonard caught wind of it and tried to silence her. That’s when Keyaru saved her. She doesn’t blame Kureha and hopes she can help them. Now that she is totally convinced, Kureha agrees to exact her promise to assist him. But to make up for her wrongdoings, she gives herself to him. Damn, is sex so easy in this world? Oh, Keyarga unleashing some aphrodisiac. Oh yeah. Keyarga the man as he f*cks this swordswoman into submission! Now she is totally his. All as planned…

Episode 6
Keyarga and his women see the imperial knights bringing in human prisoners. He recognizes them as not mere prisoners but people from his village. He sends Kureha to investigate what is happening and soon she returns to report that Keyaru has been accused to be part of a cult and hence the villagers being given the same treatment. It is no doubt a ploy to draw out Keyaru so Keyarga goes to do some undercover investigation. Using the guise of Muruta (that survivor soldier who fled from the ice wolf clan’s village and then subsequently got killed by Setsuna), he talks to a soldier in hopes of being drafted back into the military with his death penalty revoked. He also learns that Leonard led the attack on the village and raped Anna in front of anybody. Keyarga feels enraged inside since Anna is the only person who took care of him. Because of her, he managed to get out of despair. ‘Muruta’ meets Leonard about information on Keyaru. Of course this is a trap set by Keyarga as not only he surprises this bastard the person he is looking for is before his eyes, he also paralyzes him and peeks into his mind, seeing how Anna got dastardly raped. Then he turns Leonard into a hot chick and lets macho men to rape and kill him! He believes people like him needs to feel what kind of pain they inflict upon others. Keyarga rushes to save Anna but from the looks of it, all his healing didn’t work. Setsuna and Freia hope to cheer him up. So Keyarga rapes them! OMG! How can his dick fit into both their vaginas?! Does he have twin dicks?! Anyway, they notice Keyarga crying and he himself is surprised he still has all the sadness he thought had drained away. We see Norn as a pervert herself. With Leonard missing, she decides to draw out Keyaru by ordering the execution of the villagers. Kureha reports to Keyarga about the very secured coliseum the villagers will be executed. When she also says Norn has returned, this sends a cold shiver down Keyarga and Freia’s spine. Keyarga knows she is more dangerous and broken than Flare. One flashback reveals she knew Keyaru was pretending to be broken. So to keep this a secret, she wanted him to watch Flare and also do all the perverted things he did to Flare, to her. Keyarga is in a dilemma to make her his target as she hasn’t done anything to him yet in this life. Does it really matter?! Anyway, if she becomes a threat, he’ll have to eliminate her. The villagers are lined up to be executed. A last call for Keyaru to show himself to save them. Right at the last moment, here comes healer boy Keyaru!

Episode 7
As you can already tell, Keyaru will not surrender so when the leader orders his men to apprehend him, Keyaru just touches them and they explode into a pool of blood! OMFG! This literal bloodbath makes Mortal Kombat look like a baby! So some of the villagers get killed but Keyaru still doesn’t stop and continues his bloodbath. When the leader blames him for causing the death of the villagers, Keyaru tells him off it is them who killed the villagers instead. Because now he has a reason to avenge their deaths! When the barrier is drawn, the guards are the ones who feel the effect as some start to explode! Thanks to Freia tinkering with the source, it is now having the reverse effect on those who wear the protective pendant. The survivors throw away their pendant. But the last straw is when the villagers start dying because of some poison. It seems that they have been fed this so whether or not Keyaru surrenders, they’ll still die in the end. Keyaru is resolved to kill them all when cue for a vision of Flare popping up in the sky as she claims Keyaru faked her death to escape the atrocities of the kingdom. The leader thinks this is an imposter so Flare sings a song and does some fireball magic that is only unique to her to undo the barrier. The citizens truly believe this is the real Flare. She continues to explain the kingdom’s brutalities especially this current villagers they kidnapped just because they are of no use to them anymore. She pleads to the citizens to rise up and fight against the kingdom. With that, the citizens revolt and en masse kill the guards.

In the aftermath, Keyarga can only manage to save a little kid from the village? He then has Goldman take care of him. Despite betraying him, Goldman finds it odd that he saved him and is even paying him to save this kid. Keyarga brutally admits that he is only a pawn. He also wants this kid to continue to have the wrong idea that Keyaru was at fault of decimating this village. Even if he grows up vengeful seeking revenge on Keyaru, this will make him stronger. Keyarga leaves for the city of Branica with Setsuna and Freia while Kureha stays behind to gather info. Because he heard Norn is leading an imperial expedition in that city. This never happened in his first life so what happens here is unknown territory. That city is where humans and magical beings coexist (and where he fought against the Demon Lord). Keyarga is impressed with Setsuna’s different line of thought on magical beings since she views humans as the same as them for they control and treat them like animals via magical pact. Norn is not happy her sister is still alive, but this gives her an excuse to plan for her capture. And because we can’t insert any sex scenes anywhere this episode, we see Keyarga f*cking Setsuna till she tires out before continuing his session with Freia. This guys has got stamina! Yeah, he needs it for the long trip to Branica. He asks her opinion about killing people under his command but she doesn’t care as long as it makes him happy. This has Keyarga think her personality has never changed despite having her memories erased. Only now she has come to love him. Yeah, a reward for that is pinching her nipples till she orgasms! Oh yeah. This outdoor camping sex is sure worth the pit stop!

Episode 8
Keyarga narrates about divine armaments, gemstones that turn into powerful weapons that heroes use. Of course as its name implies, it wasn’t created by man although it has been handed down for generations like Freia’s staff. In this kingdom, there are only 3 of them apart from Freia’s staff. The other 2 with Bullet and Blade. Keyarga seeks to get it so he can have his revenge on them. Entering Branica, Keyarga explains to his ladies how this place was abandoned by the kingdom during the war because of how it sat at the border. However in the aftermath, it wasn’t destroyed and now it is flouring with both humans and demons coexisting. They share a table with a human and demon as they explain how both sides coexist via symbiotic relationship. When another shares the table with them, Keyarga is shocked to recognize her as the Demon Lord. He peeks at her stats and notes that despite not one now, she is a candidate. As they talk about how the current Demon Lord looks like, Keyarga points out to this cutie as one. Of course they laugh at him. Keyarga continues to describe the Demon Lord he met in his previous life. They further brush him off because that Demon Lord he described belongs to the black wing tribe. A tribe so dangerous, the current Demon Lord is trying to capture/eradicate all of them, dead or alive. This Demon Lord tries to leave but Keyarga warns of an impending attack. True enough, the entire bar is attacked by demon assassins who are targeting her. She is poisoned by an arrow so Keyarga offers to help her. Just say the word. Okay. Help me! With that, Keyarga kills an assassin and flees with his babes.

Resting in a barn, Keyarga continues to explain how they will meet in 4 years and she will be the new Demon Lord then. She gets defensive when he identifies himself as the hero of recovery and knows her real name, Eve Ries. He wants to help her become the Demon Lord because it will serve his purpose well. She still doesn’t believe him and decides to leave. Time for him to play some guilt on her mind like telling her she likes allies, the will, etc. He knows her wings carry the souls of her dead tribe members. Come with him and he can let her have her revenge. Even more so they can kill the current Demon Lord and take his place. So what’s in it for him? He wants the heart of the Demon Lord. The current one, that is. Eve wants some time to think about it. But how can she sleep that night when Keyarga is noisy f*cking his girls!!! OMFG!!! It’s the demonic magic of his twin dicks f*cking Setsuna and Freia! AT THE SAME TIME! HOW???!!! Oh don’t mind us. Just our nightly ritual. Eve is of course flustered but I think Keyarga is trying to trick and brainwash her into giving her his body! And she fell for that trap as she says she is an adult and can do whatever she wants. Oh? Really? So will she prove it with her body?! Oh damn, Keyarga’s dick is the biggest and baddest demon she’ll ever see! HAHAHA!!!

Episode 9
Eve screams “MOMMY!!!” and that’s the end of the sexcapade… Yeah, she got a gentle lecture over it. So it’s rude to reject his advances, huh? And then it’s like Keyarga is trying to further bait her by saying he is the goodest guy in the world with the most justice. You bet this makes Eve more suspicious and thinks she is being fooled. The question is how long she can keep this up… They get down to business as Keyarga proposes to help her in return for the demon’s heart which is the philosopher’s stone. What other choice has Eve got but to accept? I mean, she’s already following him so might as well just go along with. The question is how long till their first sex… When Keyarga asks if there is any type of demon she can control, she notes she can control a god. More accurately, a legendary bird that gives fatal disease, Caladrius. Shouldn’t that be of demonic status? Of course Keyarga wants it but Eve claims its trial to claim its ultimate obedience is too dangerous. Hey, if a demon girl has no confidence about taming it, why does Keyarga? Because he is a healer, remember?! Oh yeah. That makes him God, eh? She notes there are many conditions too before attempting this trial like a trip around the world. For now Keyarga goes back to town to gather info. Despite changing his face, a demon assassin attacks him because of his scent. Although the assassin manages to escape after Keyarga fights back, Keyarga returns with goods for his girls. And so they change into their new clothes. Eve gets embarrassed they have no qualms changing in front of Keyarga. That’s because he might want to f*ck them! Speaking of which, he is in the mood for some f*cking! Well, unless Eve wants to join this orgy, better change next door. And you know this curious demon is curious enough to eavesdrop the moans of those girls behind the door. So much so she masturbates till she climaxes!!! How long till their first sex…

Using the assassin’s scent, Keyarga has Setsuna track down their base. He uses some aphrodisiac on their beast and it rampages into their tent. WTF?! Bull beast f*cking the bull demon till they pass out! Then they kill some of them and for the rest, they break their limbs, throw them in the pit for interrogation. They plead for their lives as they reveal they are the only ones in town who know of Eve as a demon candidate. Once that is done, Keyarga leaves them to be eaten by the bull beast. Just desserts. Keyarga rents a room at an inn. Once again, Eve worries about not having a separate room since she is still uncomfortable with their ‘unholy activities’. Keyarga argues that the enemy might target her so it is safer for all of them to be in one room for him to better protect them. Can’t argue with that. When she hopes he would show some consideration, I guess he isn’t going to treat her differently. Just bear with it. You’ll get used to it. With the others vouching for Keyarga, democracy wins. Freia shops for a new staff and when she finds one, Keyarga does his magic to make it better. The merchant, Karman is amazed and would a third of the price if he does the same for a couple of staffs too. Keyarga haggles for half and since Karman knows he is one who can’t be fooled, he accepts the offer. He even gives Keyarga a few items like a mythril knife as goodwill. Soon, the place is in commotion because the army is here. Keyarga scouts and sees Norn is here with her elites. Looks like she is getting serious. Making it more exciting is the fact that Blade is also part of her group.

Episode 10
Keyarga is so caught up in his anger that he didn’t notice another hero, the sharp eye Trist Olgan AKA Hawkeye sensing his presence. Luckily Keyarga manages to escape without being notice. Later Keyarga continues to make deals with Karman. The latter warns him about Blade because one of his female customers was brutally sexually assaulted by her. She is completely broken now. Keyarga wonders if he should use this chance for revenge. How about using Freia as bait? Maybe not. Her identity may be exposed since Blade is obsessed with Flare. So he thinks about it that night while f*cking Freia and Setsuna! I guess they can’t put this sex scene anywhere else this episode. I hope Eve can sleep soundly. Keyarga realizes despite his ladies are his sex toys, he will not allow them to be broken. The next day, Keyarga transforms himself into a girl and wants Freia to put some makeup on him. So cute that the girls assault him! Even strangers assault him but of course he is stronger. Keyarga makes his move as he enters a bar frequent by Blade. As anticipated, she comes to talk to him and when it gets late, Keyarga excuses himself but Blade insists on one last drink. Keyarga very well know she has spiked it and refuses. Blade sips it and kisses Keyarga so as to force the liquid down his throat. While carrying Keyarga back, the father of the daughter of one of Karman’s customers try to kill Blade. Blade throws Keyarga at him! Of course Keyarga is awake and knocks out the father. Blade knows he is not just an ordinary girl and wants to know more about her. Keyarga fights her but because of her Ragnarok sword, she is imbued with high speed and regenerative abilities. Blade gets mad when Keyarga hits her face. Eventually he is no match for her. He is tied up in her chambers as she is ready to discover every inch of his body and take him to some unspoken paradise! Until that is, she starts touching his crotch! IS THAT A MAN’S DICK?! Holy sh*t! We see Blade squirm and repulse like as though it is poison! This allows Keyarga to break free and stab her with his hidden poison blade. The tables have turned. Now it’s his turn to torture her. First, he shows his dick! Yeah, it’s like her Kryptonite! You’ve been defiled by a man!!!

Episode 11
Keyarga peeks into Blade’s mind and learns Norn is planning a full search and destroy operation in Branica. But first, his revenge on Blade. He unleashes several hungry men on her. Hungry in both physically and sexually. If Blade can sexually satisfy them and last until morning, he’ll let her go. Otherwise they’ll eat her. Blade is forced to offer herself while Keyarga enjoys his wine and food watching this sick scene. To add salt to injuries, Keyarga transforms his face into Flare to watch. Eventually, Blade gets devoured and dies. Keyarga takes her Ragnarok which now reverts into a gemstone. Next day, Keyarga sees Karman who is happy making profits from his potion. Keyarga becomes alerted when Trist is here. Because Trist knows about his abilities and offers Keyarga to join his force, this confirms that Trist had spotted him back them. Keyarga declines his offer and claims he is just a travelling alchemist. That night, Keyarga sums up Trist’s abilities. His eyes are his greatest assets and he will be the greatest obstacle to Norn. Keyarga may be stronger than him but Trist has something else that would make him win if they were to fight. Hence Keyarga makes a contract with the gemstone to become the weapon he envisions. So this armoured arm name Georgius that will always heal him and make him not die? Literally an immortal? Georgius. Gorgeous! SO happy with his new toy that he celebrates by twin f*cking Freia and Setsuna! Oh yeah! So good that even Eve can’t help masturbate. Next day, as Norn addresses the people that she will be liberating this city from demons who are controlling it, the people rebel against her as they still remember the kingdom abandoning them during the war. However this may be part of her plan because what seemingly looks like an assassin coming up to kill her (swiftly taken care by Trist), she takes this as a sign to order her knights to kill everybody. All demons will die as well as humans brainwashed by them! Basically, everybody. Massacre! Unfortunately, Karman is one of those casualties. Keyarga is sad the first friend he made is dead. Can’t he just heal him?! I guess not. Because he finds it the perfect excuse to avenge his friend. Kill! KILL! KILL!!! More bloodshed! News of Keyarga’s killing reaches Norn. She wants him captured. A huge hologram of Flare then pops up in the sky.

Episode 12
Flare pleads for everyone to live together. With that, all the soldiers drop their weapons. Wow. That easy, huh? Those tears must be really effective. Norn is not impressed after hearing all this and feels that Flare is being manipulated as she knows her sister will not say something like that. As they discuss Keyaru as that swordsman, it is cue for Keyarga to barge in. Trist fights him and he does all he can do avoid his touch. Despite all the tricks and hidden weapons, as long as Keyarga doesn’t get instantly killed, Georgius heals him. Eventually, despite Keyarga didn’t touch him, he uses some deteriorating heal on him to make him explode. Norn is now terrified as Keyarga kidnaps her to an underground cellar to begin his torture and revenge. He claims he killed Karman and the attack on his home village that claimed Anna’s life as his reason for his revenge on her. So you bet no amount of apologizing is going to let him let her off the hook. Of course he is going to let her play a game. Summoning Flare in doggie mode, he is going to make her fornicate with Norn. So if she can withstand and not orgasm till morning, she wins. Otherwise he will erase her memories and make her his toy just like what he did to Flare. And so if you’re tired of seeing Keyarga f*ck, it’s time for some lovely yuri sister sex! Of course being the pervert herself, in no time she gets stimulated and both sisters orgasm with the help of Keyarga. Wonderful. Since Norn has failed, Keyarga erases her memories and plants new ones. She will now be known as Ellen, his long lost sister who totally adores him. Keyarga introduces Ellen and Eve to Kureha. Since she is looking lonely, I guess Keyarga knows what to do. Yup, we still need to see him f*ck. And what’s better than just f*cking Kureha? An orgy with Freia, Setsuna and Ellen too!!! OMFG!!! He’s got enough juice for all of them!!! Oh Eve, you still masturbating by yourself outside?! Keyarga narrates the kingdom’s image has tarnished. With Norn missing, the king will no doubt call Bullet to help out. Next step in his plan of revenge… But first, Keyarga needs the philosopher’s stone and the taming of Caladrius. Keyarga then pays his respects at Karman’s grave and notes he has exacted revenge for Anna. As he leaves the city with his girls, he wonders if he has become too soft and fears losing them. But thinking of his rape by Bullet, he realizes the scariest thing is losing his desire for revenge. He is pretty sure that he has first rate women in his harem and that as long as he does what is right, God is on his side. Damn, I THOUGHT HE IS GOD???!!! His happiness is the world’s happiness. Is it no brainer he is looking forward to this new life of his?

Re: Zero Kara Yarinaosu; Healer-sama, Retry!
So will the big black gay dude be the final person in his revenge? I don’t think so. With Keyarga on a roll with this so called revenge on his, it is not hard to see why revenge only begets revenge? An endless vicious cycle that would lead to an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. It’s too addicting to be stopped and at this rate, Keyarga’s thirst for revenge against the kingdom might just not stop there. He’ll take on the world! And then God in heaven and the demons in hell! Oh wow. But that’s another story. Speaking of which, I wonder if this series would get another season seeing how controversial everything is. Not very likely at this rate with all the virtue signallers and moral police giving their 2 cents worth on it. Even if we won’t get another season, be glad to know that this one happened. Jokes on you losers. Can’t undo this season ever!

The story is pretty much bland if you look at it on the bigger picture. Our main character just going about to get his revenge to the fullest. It’s one really slow drama so most probably you’d be bored with the pacing at this rate because certainly a dozen of episodes can’t do any justice to see Keyarga go about with his revenge against the entire kingdom. Hence the biggest factor that pulls viewers in to watch and the element that has been the talking and feature point of this series is the sex scenes. Oh yeah. Glorious sex scenes. Guaranteed to have at least one of that in every episode. Uh huh. It’s like that drug that makes us keep coming back for more. Heck, when the start of each episode puts up a big label, warning us that this series contains very graphic and mature theme, you better be prepared for what’s in store or get the heck out right now!

When I first watched the couple of episodes, I was actually pretty fine and accepted some of the censored scenes. Because this isn’t obviously labelled as hentai so they have got to censor out those parts when they really get down and dirty. So there I was, happily thinking that my superior imagination would sail me through the atrocious black hole censors throughout the disturbing sex scenes. And then I felt something strange. In the midst of those graphic scenes, there would suddenly be a different scene put together. For example, just a still shot of the furniture. Something away from the sex. Even the audio of all the sex moaning noises were cut out. Just some white noises. I didn’t give much thought of it at first even though it felt pretty strange for such a scene to happen. When it occurred more frequently, I knew there was something really wrong. So that is when I decided to check out the uncensored version. Holy sh*t! There were more graphic sex scenes here! Not saying that it is of hentai level but you get to see bare tits of the girls and their orgasmic face and the likes. Even some scenes supposedly showing those semen drops… This show is sure pushing the hentai boundary. Obviously it was very disturbing. Quite troubling indeed.

Even that, I was willing to accept and watch the censored version because of my stubborn pride. However when there were too many of such scenes in subsequent episodes, it became very irritating. Hence midway, I decided to just switch to the uncensored version not because I’m a big pervert (you laughing at me, aren’t you?), but it is less annoying to just watch a graphic scene and then suddenly the scene changes to a mild one just because it got too hard to handle. F*cking hell. It just kills your vibe. Especially when you’re fapping in the midst and then suddenly this crap. So yeah, I have to advise those who really want to watch this series, better go for the full package uncensored version because it also gives you the full picture of what is happening especially in the initial episodes. For instance, during Keyaru’s rape of Flare. It is better to be shocked and disturbed to see what happened to her rather than be safe and not knowing what actually did. And to say the least, it was insulting to put up that warning label only to have such ‘important’ scenes cut out. Hey weaklings, if you can’t handle the heat, don’t even watch this show in the first place! Sheesh.

Anyway, the subsequent sex scenes as Keyarga f*cks his harem, I think it slowly becomes somewhat numbing. As the series slogs towards its end, those sex scenes with Setsuna and Freia just felt pretty meh and obligatory. Twin dicks Keyarga needs to f*ck something so that viewers can be satiated with today’s episode’s sex scenes. Here it is. There. Are you satisfied seeing the orgasmic faces of Freia and Setsuna? Good. Sighs. It just doesn’t feel as exciting when we first saw him sex them up. Perhaps we’ve been too conditioned since. I guess that’s why we keep looking for new porn videos over the internet, huh? Hence, it’s like, “Oh, here’s today’s obligatory sex scene with the ex-princess and ice wolf girl”, “Mmm… Is it over? Okay. Passable, I guess”, “Can we get on with the story?”. Yeah. That. And with too much kinky sex, that the rape scene in Goblin Slayer is looking pretty tame right now.

As for the characters, Keyarga borders between despicable and just a guy out for justice. It feels like a lot like the former and many might be confused if he is the bad guy. I’m sure those who watched Overlord would know the main character is the bad guy but because with all the focus, we thought he is the good guy and protagonist. So it pretty much feels like that for Keyarga and despite being shown his tragic first life, it is understandable that he really wants to go all out to get revenge on those who wronged him. That I believe everybody could agree. However the decisive topic is his methods in going about with his revenge. Well, haven’t heard of any nice and clean revenge stories. If he really wants to get it done, he’s going to go all the way and this is what makes him seem like a villain. Yeah, see that villainous face as he relishes his revenge? Not the best handsome face out there but it does make him look like a baddie. The more you stare at it, the uglier this rape face becomes and it’s sometimes hard to feel sympathetic that he is doing all this twisted hentai stuff out of revenge.

He also puts up a fake front and claims he is doing it for the justice of the world when everything just boils down to him just getting his revenge. So he is no different than his tormenters in his first life. Which makes him equally as bad and at the same time, a little refreshing in terms of reel entertainment because you’ve got a main character whose moral codes are just downright pitch black. Heck, not even grey or even ethical if I should say. I suppose there isn’t any rule to say that revenge needs to be beautiful, classy and elegant in the first place. So long as you enjoy them and in Keyarga’s case, might as well go all the way, twisted and cruel. Basically he is a broken character to begin with. But better than an overpowered isekai main character, I guess?

The thing that allows Keyarga to go on his revenge spree is of course his ultimate healing powers. I don’t really understand how it works because it’s like not only he could heal with it but also kill with it. How can he kill via heal? How the f*ck can he also change his appearance by just healing his face?! There’s something I may be missing and not getting. So you heal and revert a person back to some original state? And that is a bloody pulp or something? Not sure. Then some people he can’t heal like Anna and Karman. Why would it not work? Unless they are already dead and not just in dying state. Make sense because Keyarga would’ve been a necromancer at this rate, reviving an army of dead zombies at his beck and call! So yeah, despite Keyarga having some unexplained but powerful healing properties, it still lacks something that would make him the ultimate God. Or the real Demon Lord in his case. Otherwise he could just heal the whole planet and kill everybody off he wishes in just a split second. Oh right. That wouldn’t be fun, would it?

The girls who become part of Keyarga’s harem are all sluts. Even if they got brainwashed by him or following him on her own will, they just exist to play their role of getting f*cked as his playthings. I don’t think they have any redeeming value but whatsoever. Keyarga already got his big revenge against Flare and so now as Freia, she’s just his sex slave. He has got his fighter companion in Setsuna and since she too got her revenge on those who touched her village, now she’s just his sex slave. Kureha, ah how far the heroine has fallen. Too bad it would’ve been an awesome threesome had she not been given the role to be a spy in the royal castle. Now he’s got Ellen FKA Norn in his addition. Damn, he really got first rate sluts into his harem. The more the merrier, huh? And lastly, there’s Eve. Damn, when you get a potential Demon Lord as part of your harem, you’re a f*cking God! The question is only when will Eve finally join in the orgy. Little girl, aren’t you feeling lonely playing all by yourself and empty thereafter? Yeah, we otaku losers know better! HAHAHA… Oops… :(. I’m sure if Eve finally joins in, Keyarga can grow a fifth dick to f*ck them all simultaneously! I’d like to see that happening!!!

Not sure why Keyarga doesn’t want Blade into his harem. Is she not his type or something? I mean, he got Flare, right? Maybe she’s not very feminine and quite tomboyish so perhaps it is that. Yeah, it would’ve been a different ball game had Keyarga added her to his harem but I guess we needed to see some blood. Perhaps it is just a precursor to get her gemstone and create Georgius. Norn seems to be the final boss that Keyarga needs to defeat. She’s just as cruelly twisted, sick and degenerate pervert like everybody else in this series. When you have royals so rotten, I guess it also tells you the state of the kingdom. No wonder Keyarga wants to redo this world and turn it into his own harem paradise. Oh… It’s just as bad, huh?

So aside the sex scenes and the plot, this show also has some action to fill in between when there’s no drama or sex. Not the best action piece out there but I want to say that it is very bloody and gory. Uh huh. The way Keyarga overkills his enemies with his simple heal, makes their blood gush out everywhere. Literally, giving a whole new meaning of painting the town red! Sometimes the amount of blood spilled puts Mortal Kombat to shame! Damn, every move Keyarga makes to kill his enemies is like a fatality! He should be a cheap and frustrating boss character in that game! And lots of dead bodies piling up after the kill. Putting Rambo’s body count ratio to shame, huh?

Art and animation are pretty okay. Of course as pointed out with its graphic visuals, it might be disturbing but it’s not that bad that it’ll give you sleepless nights. Maybe the rape scenes. But not the animation and art style. Sometimes I keep thinking this series looks a bit similar like High School DxD. Well, TNK animated both series so perhaps the similarities are there. They also animated that disturbing anime, School Days. And of course a bunch of ecchi ones like Kenzen Robo Daimidaler, Sin: Nanatsu No Taizai, Kandagawa Jet Girls, Ikkitousen: Xtreme Xecutor and Senran Kagura Shinovi Master: Tokyo Youma-hen.

Voice acting also feels pretty okay. Didn’t recognize anyone in particular, though. We have Yuuya Hozumi as Keyarga/Keyaru (Uta in Actors: Song Connection), Ayano Shibuya as Freia/Flare, Shizuka Ishigame as Setsuna (Renge in Kyoukai No Rinne), Natsuki Aikawa as Kureha (Petra in Shingeki No Kyojin), Natsumi Takamori as Eve (Raiha in Go-toubun No Hanayome), Minami Tsuda as Ellen/Norn (Yui in YuruYuri), Mami Fujita as Blade, Tetsu Inada as Bullet (Ioryogi in Kobato), Ryoutarou Okiayu as Trist (titular character in Toriko), Reiou Tsuchida as Karman (Tsukasa in Ensemble Stars), Naomi Kusumi as Goldman (Tadakatsu in Kyoukai Senjou No Horizon), Yasuaki Takumi as Leonard (Kase in Gamers) and Asuka Nishi as Anna (Mimosa in Black Clover). The frantic hard rock pace of Zankoku Na Yume To Nemure by Minami Kuribayashi fits the theme of this series well. But the ending theme, Yume De Sekai Wo Kaeru Nara by Arcana Project sounds a bit weird. Maybe it’s the bass beats. Got to turn the bass effect down or my speakers might explode. Of course I’m exaggerating but you get the idea. This song isn’t the best or my cup of tea but somewhat prefer this over the opener.

Overall, this series has divided a lot of people. Some loving it for the dark and revenge theme with disturbing sex scenes while others calling it a degenerate fetish fantasy. Definitely, it is not for everyone. And certainly not for weak pussies! Ironically, this is one of the few interesting animes of the season that I actually look forward to. And mind you, it’s not just because of the graphic scenes. Okay, maybe just a bit. Or half. Sure, the plot and characters may be questionable and the sex scenes are just a step up from all those short pseudo hentai-anime-disguised-as-your-normal-anime every season. But it’s not boring. Still, definitely much better than all the safe packages of sequels, cute girls doing cute things and yes, the dreaded isekai tropes. This dark series brings something new and refreshing to the table. It might not be a masterpiece but I don’t want this anime to be redone in any way. This is the kind of ‘redo’ we need for the anime industry in general. F*ck and screw all the unscrupulous, exploitative and greedy people! In turn, all hentai anime becomes normal airing anime 24/7… Oh sh*t, I think I hit the redo button too much. Go back! GO BACK!!! Heal! HEAL!!!

Imagine there is only one place in the whole wide world that only you, nobody but only you alone that could access. Inside that place is something where you could learn and obtain great new and powerful skills to be used to your heart’s content. Sounds great, huh? Oh well. Ore Dake Haireru Kakushi Dungeon might sound cool as that but unfortunately I have to break it to you that it is a typical fanservice and harem anime of the season! Are you disappointed now? Or are you raring to go and see what kind of skills the main character is going to get to obtain a harem on his own? What do you mean that skill is somewhat natural?! You’re saying he is sort of a babe magnet and doesn’t need any sort of womanizing skill?! Oh right. He is already a main character in a sleazy fanservice and harem anime so that’s already a given skill right from the start.

Episode 1
Kazuma Noir Stardia is supposed to start his first day of work as a librarian. However his father soon apologize because the son of a viscount usurped his job. Yes, their family of baronet ranks the lowest among the noble class. Noir isn’t mad but what will he do now? His sister, Natsuki Minamiya Alice suggests enrolling in Hero Academy to be a knight or monster hunter. Too bad Noir doesn’t have much confidence. Later he meets up with his childhood friend, Darkness Emma Brightness who is shocked to hear about his situation. She suggests using his Great Sage skill to seek what to do next. It’s a rare skill that basically tells him anything he wants about the world! Wow! The drawback! He gets a super headache each time he uses it. The kind of headache that makes him wish he was dead! But wait. Emma thinks there is this lore to cure such headaches. A kiss. Aha. So wanna try? Okay. But wait. Let’s get the scenery right first. After an easy first kiss, Noir consults Great Sage. He is told to find a hidden dungeon and enter a secret room. With his headache now at nightmare level, quick kiss him! Wow. That easy, huh? So Noir enters a dungeon and follows as instructed. In this room, he sees a chained girl, Aqua Olivia Servant. Apparently she came here and fought a monster but got trapped here for 200 years! You can’t release her from these chains or she’ll die. She is glad she has someone to talk to. After Noir tells his story, she ‘uploads’ to his brain a new set of skill to create things for himself, create things for others and edit stuffs! Woah! Is Noir now an overpowered character?! The drawback is that depending on how hard to do those stuffs, it eats up more Life Points (LP). But of course you can replenish them by indulging in worldly desires. Yes, including sex! Hmm… I wonder if there is an upper limit to this because if you’re being lazy and just indulging, will it go over 9000???!!! Anyway don’t let your LP reach zero. Uh huh. You die.

Noir tests this out and he could feel the drain. So how does he replenish? Sleep on Alice’s lap pillow! I think it’s a win-win! Then he calls Emma and hugs her! Woah! LP rising even further!!! Another set of skill granted by Olivia is that he can peek at the stats of others. So with Emma complaining about her shoulders because of her huge boobs, he makes them smaller!!! WTF???!! ARE YOU SURE???!!! Of course she doesn’t appreciate it and has them return them to normal. What a waste of LP. Yeah, never do that again! Noir enrols in Hero Academy and their task is to collect raw materials from monsters. Because his low ranking, nobody wants to team up with him. But wait. Why is Emma here? She gave up her librarian job just to be with him?! How sweet. The other girl joining them is Lenore Bludon. Basically a stuck up b*tch. But hey, at least she allows them to join her. So Noir goes alone to fight this Dead Reaper that Olivia suggests? Easy my foot! One hit and he’ll die! After using his skills and barely evading death, he manages to defeat it. The team rankings are announced. Noir doesn’t think they made the cut but wait. Their team rank first and rewrote the overall score record?! Yeah, they’re runaway leaders. So with Noir’s family happy that he got accepted, wait till they see the enrolment fee. 300,000 rels. Oh sh*t…

Episode 2
Looks like father doesn’t have that much to pay either… Confiding with Olivia, looks like the way to cough up that cash fast is to get a quest from the guild. So Noir joins the local guild, Odin and the receptionist, Misaka Lola tells him the basic rules. However she is not impressed when she learns Noir is somewhat Olivia’s successor because there are many cons in the past claiming to be her successor. You see, Olivia was a member of Odin! So she has him take some truth test to discern his true skills. If she is wrong, she’ll apologize and show him her pantsu! Oh boy. And so she has to eat her words and let him increase his LP. Yeah, free LP! Lola now falls for him because she likes capable men. So she has him look for some rare grasshoppers. So he created some headache immunity and it hurts less when he uses Great Sage? Okay. So does that mean he doesn’t need Emma anymore? I don’t know if this is a good thing… Anyway, Emma is here and not happy he took up this job. What promise they made 6 years ago? Oh, to be together forever. Still, I guess they make out because Emma is hinting. Still a big win for Noir, though. Noir receives the reward but still falls short of the amount. With Lola all over Noir, it’s the b*tch showdown that we all anticipate. Yeah, the excitement Odin needs. Too bad Noir intervenes and the girls give him face and back down for now. BORING! Next mission has the duo hunt monsters. Fighting goblins are okay. Until this giant rabbit pops up! Emma wants to fight this herself since she doesn’t want to let Noir to take all the credit, hence letting Lola falling further for him. Too bad she is too weak and Noir had to help out just to escape. With Emma seriously depressed because she is weak, Noir figures a way to boost her stats but that will take LP! Oh my. You wanna make out now?! Make out when a woman is in despair?! Oh well, if it’s Noir. Uh huh. Noir bites her ears. Emma must be feeling all weird. Better hurry. Monster rabbit coming! Just in time to get the LP he needs to boost up Emma who in turn easily defeats the bunny. Noir can just sit back and watch. Watch her pantsu… Now that Noir has enough money, they also celebrate as everyone joins in having rabbit BBQ! Everyone also drinks a toast to Noir’s future. He feels thankful to everyone and the person whom he credits most is Olivia. Well, speaking of her, looks like she is irritated that he hasn’t come visit her for a while.

Episode 3
Now that they’re enrolled in Hero Academy, Emma tells Noir about Poporon Elise Katharina Von Hohenheim Maria Fianna Albert who is one of the high ranking nobles and was in the same exam batch as them. He peeps at her stats but is shocked to see she has a curse deeply embedded into her heart and she will die on her 16th birthday. But first, some fanservice as we see Noir’s usual morning ritual include a big hug from Alice and a kissing one with Emma in the woods. Yup, gonna like this ritual a lot. In class, everyone ignores Noir since he is a baron. Instead, all try to hit on Emma. Remember, he let Lenore take all the credits of Dead Reaper so nobody knows about his exploits. Karma is a b*tch because here comes Maria and she casually talks to Noir. Who’s laughing now? I wonder how Emma feels about this… Megumin Elna Stongs is the class’ sadistic teacher. First she has Noir try to attack her. Of course he couldn’t even touch her and gets beaten up. No worries. She’ll heal him and repeat the process. Yikes. But she gives him a chance. Even if he manages to evade her attacks once, she’ll do something pleasing to him. And so Noir uses a few LP to learn some dodging move and now Elna has to eat her words. What’s it going to be? Uhm… Elna rubbing her ass all over Noir’s body?! Yeah, all the guys jealous. In between heaven and embarrassment… Better not say her ass is too heavy! Elna’s next lesson has everyone paired up to learn some defensive skill. Since close friends cannot pair up, this means Noir and Emma can’t be together. That goes the same for Maria and her attendant, Kaori Kanzaki Amane. So Maria rejects a noble trying to pair up with her and instead goes for Noir. Lucky bastard. During a practice swing, Maria falls flat on Noir. Her boobs in his face. But nobody is screaming lecher at Noir since Maria looks out of breath. Yeah, it’s that curse. Noir consults Great Sage on what to do. Line up all the girls here and touch their boobs?! WTF?! Even if that earns him 2000 LP, this isn’t enough for the 8000 LP needed to remove it!!! Now with his great headache, Noir forcefully kisses Emma. With everyone in shock with this view, Elna blows her top at such indecency in her class and punishes him to laps around the school. Later Noir sees Lola if she knows any skills to remove it. Lola knows a cleric friend of hers, Tsukasa Tsukuyomi Luna Heela might be able to do it but she rarely does such exorcism. Oh well, don’t know if you don’t try. So where can we find this cleric? Later Noir uses his massaging skills on Elna so he can earn meagre LP when she then sits on him as reward. WTF…

Episode 4
As Lola goes to get Luna, Noir goes to see Olivia how to increase his LP. So she’s suggesting sex with an elf?! In the end, she bestows him this lucky pervert skill. I guess that is your excuse for future sleazy fanservice. For example when he returns to town, circumstances like the wind blowing up the girls’ skirt for him to gawk. Since it will be too troublesome for this to happen all the time, he edits it so he can use it whenever he wants. With Lola and Luna returning, they talk about this but it seems Luna despite having the skills cannot undo this particular curse. Noir peeks into her stats and realizes that if Luna does undo the curse, it will cost her entire life! Yeah, elves live longer but this shows how dreadful this curse it. Noir talks to her privately about this so Luna talks about her mom who was also a cleric she admired so much. She healed people until the day she died. A nearby building collapses and a child is badly injured. After pulling him out, Luna realizes she wants to save lives to bring in the smiles and shoots her healing gun at him. The kid heals but Luna soon passes out. The aftereffect is that she turns into a coward who is scared to die. Once she returns to normal, she is very embarrassed of this side of hers and tries to change the subject to go heal Maria. Her body isn’t lying as they can tell she is trembling with fear all over. Lola also gets to know for the first time about this curse Luna has. It looks like she is mad at her for not telling but rather she is mad at herself for never noticing it. After making up, they get back to the mission to save Maria. Noir comes up with a plan to use his editing skill that will have Luna lose not all her life but in exchange lose some of her wealth. WTF?! I don’t even… Anyway, for him to use this, he himself needs quite a bit of LP. How to increase 2000 LP fast without resorting to sleazy sex and fanservice as well as increase Luna’s finances? Well, uhm, Lola says there is a weekly harem pride event… Apparently contestants get to show off their hot and sexy girlfriends or harem for the prize money and the audiences are hateful losers who want to scowl/slander at it all. Oh boy, haters gonna hate, hate, hate…

Episode 5
We see groups of harem going onstage just to get heckled and booed at. Yeah, those losers can really throw great insults and lower their morale. The penultimate team is a harem from a rival guild, Lahmu. Lola notes that they are the team to beat and it is evident that the haters stay silent during their turn. Noir’s harem is the last one out. But with Emma and the other girls strutting their stuffs, the entire crowd cheers for them?! Oh yeah. Those boobs! Noir’s harem may have won the most points but it is far from over yet. Now they have to act out 3 scenarios to satisfy the crowd?! Yeah, your excuse for fanservice. Hence we see the girls doting on Noir with their soft skin, boobs and everything and the clincher is when all of them kiss him on his lips! Set the crowd on fire! Take your stupid money and leave!!! Wow. Noir is surely the biggest winner. In addition to getting the money, got his way with his harem that would’ve increased his LP a lot. Before you can get jealous from all this tomfoolery, let’s go back to the main issue at hand. Yup, Maria is dying and her time is running out. We see her flashback how she was the only one cursed with this when her ancestors defeated some sorcerer. Sad. Time for Noir and Luna to work their magic as they reveal what they’re going to do. Looks like Maria giving Noir advance payment of a kiss on his lips after hearing his story why he wants to help her. How sweet. Hope that boosts his LP a little. Now can we do this public display of affection later and get the healing going? After all that drama, Maria is healed and Noir confirms it after checking her stats. A grateful Maria wants to spend the rest of her life repaying this debt to him. Is this some sort of confession? Emma and Lola aren’t happy since the rivalry has increased. Even more so when Luna admits she too has fallen for Noir. And they all blame Noir for being a manwhore. Oh well, can’t have it perfect. Later Noir tells all this to Olivia. Happy ending. Except Olivia now wants him to kiss her. Hey, can’t have the greatest babe who taught him stuffs be left out, right? And so he just gives one to her. On her forehead. Maybe the next one will satisfy her. And boost his LP too!

Episode 6
Each of them are reward 100 million rels. Yeah, that takes care of the lost finances. It’s not that the girls are fighting over the share, it’s over Noir! Noir makes the wisest decision by taking his share and run! I guess Noir’s dad really has his eyes opened after seeing all that money. To avoid him gamble it all away, Noir suggests opening a shop that sells rare materials. Dad can go find the location and do the paperwork while Noir goes hunting. Since Noir needs to explore the next dungeon, he visits Olivia to get some new skills. While exploring a dungeon, he stumbles into a huge black lion with a tulip on its head, Toramaru. Thankfully he isn’t hostile but needs Noir’s help to find a friend of his who went to explore further but never came back. That was like 350 years ago! His friend, Vashelle is an elf so he lives quite long. So why didn’t Toramaru just go look for him? Oh, about this promise to wait for him right here. So Noir goes to help look. After escaping zombies, he stumbles into a different zombie. Definitely Vashelle. Using his skill to un-zombie him, Vashelle learns what happened. He feels bad for everything as he explains how he met Toramaru. He saved him from a beast and Vashelle offered to be his friend. Toramaru accepted since this is the first time somebody did so. Vashelle received word about treasures in this dungeon so he explored it so he could send it back to his love. Vashelle reunites with Toramaru and is glad he kept his promise but also feels bad for wasting his time. Because has to return home to check on his love and other races are not allowed, this means they have to part. Toramaru doesn’t mind. After they part, Toramaru returns to the dungeon on pretence he forgot something. Curious Noir follows him to see him crying. Noir understands how he feels because he too doesn’t want to part with those he loves. Hence Noir wants him to be his friend and come home with him. I guess waiting 350 years wasn’t all a waste after all. Toramaru is accepted well into Noir’s family and can be the guard dog (lion?) for their shop. Yeah, maybe father won’t try to pull off anything funny. This might keep him in check. As for the tulip on his head, it is hinted it might be something like his dick! Because Alice rubs it until he, uhm, cums???!!! Oh well, this episode was slightly different, friendship > harem.

Episode 7
Elna has her students gather very rare items for the test. They have to score at least 10,000 or they’ll have to stay back for remedial classes every day for summer vacation. So of course, Noir and Emma visit their favourite receptionist. But what’s this? Lola being mad at her fellow receptionist, Cecelia Alcott Sarah? Had Luna not hold her back, it would’ve gotten ugly. Yeah, can’t imagine those boobs bouncing all around in that slugfest! HAHAHA! Ahem. Anyway, Lola accuses Sarah of using her seductive charm to steal other adventurers that helps props up her stats. That is why she is always tops in the monthly quota rankings. Sarah denies otherwise so they throw down a challenge that if Lola beats her once, she’ll stop doing so. But if Lola loses, she’ll take Noir! Oh damn, Noir peeks at her stats and let’s say her skills are very suitable to be a porn star… In the background, we see Sarah’s true nature. She claims she already ‘disciplined’ her adventurers, hence no proof of her stealing them. Noir, Emma and Luna go hunt some rare monsters and then take down the hardest one of them all: A dragon. After some levelling up, they are ready to take it on. Yeah, they make it look so easy with the bait and lure, then killing it with their weak looking spears. This definitely has them pass the academy’s test and gives Lola high marks. But it is still not good enough as Sarah still tops! Looks like no cheating involved and there’s still time before the monthly quota ends. Then we see those zombie adventurers under Sarah wanting their reward. So she pleases them by jiggling her boobs a little. Because now Lola takes Noir to a private room and allows him to touch her anywhere!? WTF???!!! I think they can’t find any good place to insert the fanservice and that’s why it had to be here, which is so freaking odd! I’m sure his LP is through the roof. So is this a free pass for him to get his pleasures for his future hard work? Later he goes see Olivia for some tips to get rare items. She tells him about the 7th level of many dungeons that serve as a bonus level. Of course she imbues him with many other skills and most notably the ultimate magic fusion one. Super powerful. Now he’s ready to get more rare items.

Episode 8
Inside this bonus level, Noir stumbles into Lyria this loli elf. Oh wait, so Dory is actually a dryad? Anyway, Dory needs his help to save her or else she’ll die. It seems her real body which is a tree, has its mana being slowly sucked out by a dangerous golden bee. As a reward, she can tell him the location of the treasure he seeks and the exit to the next floor. Of course our heroic Noir is going to save her because not only she looks like a childhood version of Emma, but was it because of this cheesy kiss she gave him? Uh huh. It’s like the producers needed to place this episode’s fanservice somewhere. So when Noir got so angry seeing how Dory is suffering from all this, he bit his lips till it bleeds. Cue for a touched Dory to lick and kiss it. F*cking hell, this also increases his LP!!! Lolicon! Knowing he isn’t good enough to defeat this bee, he goes to seek Olivia’s help. Then he returns to find the bee’s nest. Oh damn, another loli kiss for the road? This time, Noir has to deal with a pack of silver wolves. By the time he is running around them, the bee takes another sting on the tree. This time Dory is unconscious. This causes Noir to be so mad, he just freaking charges at the bee. Yeah, the bee insulting him by dodging his attacks. Can’t touch me! I think he should’ve thought of this sooner because with the wolves still targeting him, he uses his editing skill to make the wolves target the bee. Eventually the bee kills all the wolves but now it is tired, Noir goes in for the kill. More good news as Dory still lives. As reward she shows him a secret place that lies a couple of high valued items. So it’s parting time for them but you know Noir, he’ll be back. For now, he returns to a happy Lola. Just in time because all the points are calculated to see who’s gonna be the receptionist of the month. As expected it boils down to Lola and Sarah. In the end, Lola wins by a margin of one coin/point! Sore loser Sarah accuses Lola of cheating. But proof? No? Then STFU! Sarah so sad but Noir being your typical nice guy tries to cheer her up. This has Sarah secretly hand him a flirtatious note and her personal address! Luckily Lola spots this and stops this cheating devil from advancing her plans any further. I take it, everything is back to normal at Odin.

Episode 9
Noir gives Emma the item that enhances her wind abilities. Then she invites him to a party this weekend. At first he turns her down because he’s not good at that noble stuff. But when she mentions if he doesn’t mind her dancing with other guys, yeah, you better accept her invitation. More mindf*ck because she talks in riddles about someone kidnapping her and doing dirty things to her. Like, WTF?! And she calls him stupid… AND YOU WONDER WHY GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND GIRLS?! CONFUSING SIGNALS!!! More woes as Noir’s father failed to get a shop. But screw that since Noir doesn’t placed any hopes on him in the first place (ouch) and needs to attend a party and wants to borrow his suit. It’s dirty. He’ll but one himself. Should’ve been that way. Noir and Emma attend the party. But first, the host warns that he has received a letter from a phantom thief named Phantom who has left a letter to steal his Mermaid Teardrop jewel. He assures everyone he has hired Lahmu to protect it and everybody. So rest easy and have fun. Yeah, Emma’s face looking pale… A guy names Mike wants to court Emma but of course she refuses. Learning Noir is her childhood friend, he suggests a dance battle whereby the one with the loudest applause from the crowd wins. You already know the answer. Yeah, just use your dance skill and make Mike eat his words!

And before we could get to this episode’s kiss, here comes Phantom! However she is here to kidnap Emma! Noir realizes too late about Emma’s words. F*cking hell, she makes a mockery out of Lahmu! Even more so there is a male Phantom counterpart who has also stolen the jewel. They escape. I swear, Lahmu is f*cking useless. Lahmu wants to go after them as Noir pleads to come along. Leila Overlock disagrees but with Noir pleading, she gives in. I tell you, this guild is so easy… Noir and Leila go after Phan (the female half of Phantom) who summons a phoenix to keep Leila busy while Noir tries to get Phan. After all that drama, Noir uses his newly learnt skills to defeat her and take Emma back. When Lahmu’s boss checks on them, turns out he is Tom (Phantom’s male half) in disguise as he puts his gravity magic on Noir and Leila. His goal is to marry Emma because he fell in love with her at first sight. Basically a stalker. Noir shows his love for Emma is greater than his by going against his gravity. As Tom tries to put him down, he didn’t realize Emma is set free as she punches him and Noir landing the finishing blow. The day is saved. Now they can have their kiss. In the aftermath, as thanks for saving Emma, her parents use their connection to pull some strings to get Noir the shop and at a very cheap rental price. All’s well, ends well. Except for Alice. Emma getting too close to her onii-sama… Grrr…

Episode 10
Elna introduces a new student in their class: Leila! And now it’s time for the training camp. Apparently that is their term for a vacation to the hotspring! Because all the boys have this obvious look of wanting to peek at the girls and only Noir doesn’t have such desire, all the girls place their faith in him that he will protect them from those perverts! Along the way, they almost fall into a pit trap. A pixie tells them bandits set it up and that she can show them the way to the hotspring. Noir is cautious because there are some monsters that are not trustworthy especially this pixie’s suspicious stats. True enough, inside the cave, the pixie calls forth the lizardmen to attack them. Because the guys want to see the girls bath so much, they rush into battle and the power of boner owns them all. At the hotspring, Hjorth Boyle becomes the group leader for the boys to peek at the girls. So they’re going to wear this weird getup that makes them look like medieval executioners?! Anyway, Noir refuses to be part of the plan so all the boys try to capture the traitor. Luckily Elna stops them dead in their tracks. Hjorth then fights with Elna but because he is stronger, he defeats her. Then he transforms to his muscle form because apparently he spent all his fortune on potions to make stronger so that he’ll get to make his perverted dreams come true. WTF… I guess Noir has to step in. Hjorth tries to entice him to the dark side but Noir’s resistance is strong. Of course Noir wins the battle of determination and with a little help of his cheating bestowing skill to make Hjorth weaker. But Hjorth claims the last laugh. Because one of the guys is a quick runner as he quickly dashes to the girls’ section. For the boys! For the dreams of men! Noir chases after him but realizes he now lacks LP to slow him down whatsoever. By the time they crash into the hotspring area, it is too late. But Noir realizes the girls aren’t bathing and they’re still clothed. Thanks to Elna telling them to put the bathing off because she suspected the boys will do this stupid thing. Phew. Noir has used up his energy and passes out. When he wakes up, as reward for keeping his promise, he is allowed to bath with the girls but blindfolded! OMFG! This guy hit the jackpot! All the loser boys locked in their room. Dream is over. With Emma and Elna rubbing his boobs on his wife, his LP skyrocketed that night! OMFG! Over 10,000 LP gained???!!! F*CK, IT’S OVER 9,000!!!!!!!!

Episode 11
Noir’s harem helps him to set up his shop. With Toramaru’s suggestion, the shop is name Stardian Rarities. Yeah, because the rest suck in their suggestions. And so the shop is open for business. Soon, Noir goes to see Olivia. I suppose Noir has completed everything he needs to so the only thing left is to save Olivia from her cursed chains. Yeah, he should’ve asked Great Sage for advice. The only downside is the headache, right? Despite just telling him to go to the 15th floor, no other details are given. On the 14th floor, the path separates depending if you are solo or not. Choosing the former, Noir chickens out realizing he needs to cross a thin strip of line across a pit filled with sharp spikes. So he goes back to tell Emma about it. Could she say no? Now, choosing the other path, they become locked in a room filled with mini goblins! Sorry folks, no rape scene here. Instead, they want something to eat so Noir gives them his delicious cookies. Too bad they all got food poisoning. Stupid goblins. After passing this area, they enter a room in which they see a chained Olivia? After Emma cuts her loose, Noir checks and realizes this is the death chains itself and has copied Olivia exactly. She starts fighting them and since she is too strong, the duo retreat. This time back to where the real Olivia is. They ask about her weakness since the imposter copied her exactly so it must be the only way to defeat her. However Olivia is reluctant to tell and thinks they shouldn’t be fighting for her sake. They return home now and it’s time for a pleasant fanservice for Noir from Lola and Luna. Pretty girl sandwich?! Yeah, they flank him and bite his ear. Damn, his LP rise a couple of thousand points!!! Next day, he heads to the library to do research on Olivia’s history. Something about a battle with the cleric Littorine in which Olivia won. Then there’s some sacrifice skill that needs 10,000 LP. Oh good. Noir has 13,000, right? As he leaves, he is shocked to see the imposter Olivia before him. She wants to eliminate him so you bet Noir uses this sacrifice move he just obtained. Too bad it didn’t work and he got owned by her instead. Thankfully it isn’t a fatal blow but looks like Noir is toast if he doesn’t do something!

Episode 12
Flashback 200 years ago, a kid who looks like Noir approached Olivia and wanted her to be his master. Of course she refused. But he continued to bug her and never gave up. Until she learnt he was doing so because his friend died and he made a promise to become the strongest warrior so that he is so well known that his name would reach the heavens. She tested him but found his skills to be lacking. She wanted him to quit. But he did not. The bugging continued. Hence Olivia just nonchalantly ‘taught’ what he just wanted to know. He was more than happy to learn anything he can. One day… He died!!! Oh sh*t! Apparently he saved a girl from an iron goblin but at the cost of his life. This has Olivia feeling guilty. Because had she been a proper teacher, the outcome would’ve been different. So back to the present, is history going to repeat itself?! Apparently Noir has his harem to help him. After all, who else are they going to fight over if he’s dead, right?! Even with their combined might, this Olivia clone is still powerful. Even when Noir uses his skill to destroy the curse in her sword, she is still formidable. Not sure what curse she put on everyone else to make them feel lethargic. Desperate, Noir uses the ultimate sacrifice editor. Sacrificing all his skills just for a great sacrifice move, he is able to push this clone to a corner. So much so she gets mad and really fights back. But of course as you would know, Noir’s determination is much stronger and as plot convenience has it, he wins against her as she turns into some chain dust or something. And now for the much deserved reward because all the girls join their boobs around him. OMFG! Quadruple pair of boobs! From 200 LP to over 10,000!!! OMFG!!! BEST HEALING EVER!!! Because of the chain’s destruction, Olivia is set free and can now freely move. Noir is overcome with emotion as he goes hug his master. I guess no LP increase when you’re in tears? Olivia thanks him that had he not come to the dungeon that day, she’ll still be stuck in her chains. In the aftermath, life returns to normal. Noir’s family business is booming. His harem assumes he needs LP so they go flirt with him. Heh. Can’t beat Emma with her kiss in public! Until yandere Alice wants to join in! You’re all so screwed! Finally, Noir meets up with Olivia to go explore beyond the 15th floor. She believes if he can get to the 100th floor, he might be as powerful as her. Bring it on! After all, who else can enter this dungeon but only him, right?

Dungeons & Harems
As long as Noir gets to heal his LP with all the sexy flirtations, he’ll be alight. No matter how dangerous the situation, he just needs to bring along his harem or any one of the girls and he’ll be set. He’ll return alive. Definitely. Even more so, he can build back his LP and then use them to regain his lost skills he made for that ultimate sacrifice. How convenient. Yeah, the final episode felt like it was all too convenient to settle everything this season. Like as though Olivia already served her sentence for not taking her former student seriously and hence the appearance of Noir conveniently in that nostalgic form to make her repent on atone for her mistakes. Lesson well learnt. Uh huh. The irony that this is the biggest lesson her student taught her. Oh well, a happy ending in the end, so that is all that matters.

Everything here from the storyline to the setting feels very iffy and flimsy. My big guess is that everything that is done for is in the name for the cheesy fanservice. You see, it is already a big problem that the world has this weird setting of increasing and decreasing of LP. While it sounds cool on first looks, the deeper you look at it and start to question its workings, the weirder things seem to get. I mean, the series didn’t really pinpoint a ceiling for LP so I guess it could go on forever until infinity. This means as long as Noir gets all the sleazy fanservice, his LP will increase so high that he’ll become an immortal and God. Think about it! It doesn’t help to think how much amount an increase of increase in LP he’ll get for whatever fanservice acts he receives. It’s like whenever the producers feel like it, they just add a small amount to increase his life bar. Here. Small bits of fanservice, so here’s a mini reward to your LP. Yikes. If Noir becomes the town’s biggest pervert, I’m sure his LP will be skyrocket to numerous digits high!

And then of course there is this convenient set of skill editing and creating ability. For the sake of convenience, right? All Noir needs to do is to expend some of his LP and voila! He gets a new skill! Like, damn it’s so freaking easy! It’s like an insult because in other shows where it takes years to hone such skills, all Noir did was to overwrite the loopholes and get the results. Is this skillset completely broken or what?! The only reason he can’t be God is because he doesn’t have enough LP to sacrifice and obtain those skills. Sheesh. So that’s the mini drawback, huh? Considering the amount of fanservice he got during the course of this season, he himself has got quite the amount of skills needed that helped him out of dangerous situations as well as help advance the plot. And yeah, who the f*ck sets how many LP is needed for a certain skill???!!! I tell you, this world is too easy. Instead of money is everything, it is LP that is everything. LP is the currency of the world! I wonder how much LP does it take to become omnipotent and omniscient as God? Yeah, is infinity a valid number? So the only limit to Noir’s creations are basically his imaginations. That’s it.

Oh yeah. Nothing tells you a main character is already overpowered when he could do all that. But even without all that, he already has the rare Great Sage skill that could tell him just anything he wants. Uh huh. This guy literally has a f*cking God living inside him. The only slight drawback is his tremendous headache that comes after so you bet that is the big stopper why Noir will not spam and use this skill of his. Otherwise, we will all hate this guy even further. And also of course, the greatest cure for such headache is a good fanservice and Noir is one lucky bastard to have busty Emma as that cure. So next time when your partner wants sex and he/she gives that not-tonight-because-I-have-a-headache excuse, show ‘em this anime!!!

Oh dear, the fanservice. I have this feeling that this is their selling point. Hence all the cheap thrill fanservice we’ve got and all the stupid illogical setting that I just pointed out. Nothing screams blatant fanservice when boobs jiggling physics seems to be almost everywhere. Uh huh. Busty girls seem to bounce them once in a while like as though they needed to distract our eyes and look at them. “Hey! Look over here! It’s those twin peaks you’re supposed to look at! Let me jiggle more just for the heck of it so as to get your attention!”. Yeah. That’s how I feel whenever they get a chance to just bounce Emma or Lola’s boobs just for that sake. If boobs aren’t your thing (ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!) there are some panty shots for you to enjoy as well but these are far and few in between. I know we all love the main characters and his heroines to kiss but this has become the staple that it just looks cheesy. Nothing says making out public just to soothe your headache or gain some LP. I bet real sex is going to earn a lot more LP than a mere PDA. Just saying…

And when you have a competition that specifically has losers mock and scowl at your harem, this is the ultimate cringe of fanservice, I suppose. It feels like they’re trying to tell us perverts and losers about this… Hmm… I wonder what that could be. Oh, that we are just losers who could only watch as a mediocre 2D characters gets pacified by his hot babes????!!!! I wonder how many of us broke our monitors with this insult. I didn’t. I was mainly laughing at all the pathetic losers here. Losers in the audience and losers in the main character’s harem. And to tell me they won just because of their ultimate pleasing techniques? Those cheap fanservice moves?! That made them won the competition?! These losers sure haven’t seen anything yet!

More cheesy fanservice as in the initial episodes, at the end of every episode there is a small and short segment called Alice Theatre whereby we see our Alice indulge herself in her debauchery fantasies over her onii-chan like rubbing Noir’s blanket all over her face or digging his ears or stepping all over him. Not sure if it is disturbing but I suppose because Alice is such a cute girl, we let it slide. Carry on and give us more of such fanservice, please!

At this point do we care about the characters? Because Noir as the main character seems so cliché. Your typical nice guy who eventually gets all the girls. A bit of pervert too but that is only when he needs to replenish his LP. How convenient. Unlike other stuck up guys who rank higher than him, I guess in a way the low family rank makes him humbler so perhaps this is why babes flock to him. And his harem is expanding far and wide because, why not? The main contenders are Emma, Lola and Luna since they are mostly around him. Emma and Lola providing your typical and laughable b*tch rivalry over Noir because, why not? May the biggest boobs win! So to speak. Tired of making out with humans? Here’s Luna the elf girl for some variety. Each of these girls have their own issues (Luna’s healing curse, Emma’s marriage issues, Lola’s rivalry with Sarah) but they’re so miniscule that it didn’t even matter. Even so, just to help prop up Noir’s reputation in their hearts.

Then there’s the rest of the others who aren’t main contenders of Noir’s harem. Starting off with the typical buranko of Alice who is your typical little sister who loves her brother to the point of incest. I’m just waiting for that day to happen when Noir’s chastity is in danger. Then there is Noir’s master, Aqua who would’ve been a main contender had she not been in death chains for 200 years. Limited to just telepathic talk, who knows what atrocity she could do Noir’s chastity if she is set free. Elna might look like a strong and strict teacher but there were a few WTF moments where she gives him pure fanservice that would make other students jealous of. You know, that ass in his face incident! Like, sensei! What are you teaching him?! Other girls don’t seem to be that obvious. Yet. Like Maria. She’s just grateful over Noir in curing her curse. But she hasn’t made any move yet. Leila from the rival guild doesn’t show any signs yet but my guts tell me since she respects him, what are the chances that she also likes him? Otherwise, why even introduce this chick. Dory. Loli dryad needs some love sometimes. Sarah. You need to have a thieving b*tch. Most mind boggling one is Lenore. After the first episode of teaming up with Noir, after that we don’t see her anymore. I thought she would play some part whatsoever but looks like they didn’t need her character. Too much girls in Noir’s harem can be very disturbing and distracting, you know.

Noir’s father is written to be an incompetent idiot because the series needs to have a joker and comic relief character. Noir can’t be that. So his dumb useless father plays that role to annoyance. Doesn’t Noir have any male friends of his own that can fit that role? Oh yeah. Need to make Noir as the centre of attention as the only guy in the harem. Because other guys in class are just jerks and dicks. Why does this series need Toramaru as the mascot? Beats me. Are there any animal lovers around? His character could’ve been done without and even so his mini story. But I guess they needed something to attract customers to their store. Wouldn’t Alice suffice? Guess not.

Art and animation feel pretty passable. It’s just mediocre if you ask me. Although it’s not that bad but you can tell that it just barely meets the minimum standards to be watchable. As long as got fanservice so it’s okay, huh? Well, luckily my threshold for that is pretty low… And when you don’t even need to animate Olivia when she talks to Noir because of her accursed state… Of course you may have also noticed that over the course of my blog, the character designs are so that they seem to look like other characters from other anime series. Yeah, like this is the discount version of KonoSuba whatsoever. Also, I feel that the character designs have this one kind look because for instance, I thought Luna and Leila look pretty much alike if you look closely. Alice and Elna. Olivia and her clone… Oh wait. Just kidding on that one, hehehe. This anime is done by a new studio, Okuruto Noboru. At the end of every episode, end card illustrations from different illustrators. Some cute, some sexy.

Voice acting, pretty normal and standard. Was a pleasant surprise to find Yui Horie as Olivia. Haven’t heard much about her these days and even so, just short minor cameos. The only other seiyuu I recognized is Sora Amamiya as Elna. The rest of the other casts are Ryota Ohsaka as Noir (Marco in Shingeki No Kyojin), Miyu Tomita as Emma (Gabriel in Gabriel Dropout), Rumi Okubo as Lola (Chinatsu in YuruYuri), Akari Kitou as Luna (Nezuko in Kimetsu No Yaiba), Saika Kitamori as Maria, Yurie Funato as Leila, Yuki Nagano as Alice (Yuzu in Renai Boukun), Fumiko Uchimura as Amane (Mavis in Watashi Nouryoku Wa Heikinchi De Tte Itta Yo Ne), Nana Harumura as Dory (Amurita in Z/X Code Reunion), Reina Ueda as Sarah (Akane in SSSS.Gridman) and Tetsu Inada as Toramaru (Ioryogi in Kobato). The opening theme, Pyramid Dai Gyakuten by Spira Spica is a lively anime pop piece but sounds pretty generic to me. The same can be said for the ending theme, Nemophila by Coala Mode albeit the song plays to a slower bit. I don’t really pay attention to the BGM of this series but if I am not mistaken, I think one caught my attention because it is a short spoof of Indiana Jones’ iconic tune! Just hear the very start of the 8th episode. Is it not f*cking similar???!!!

Overall, this series is actually mediocre and they needed some sort of ecchi fanservice harem anime to fill in this season’s slot. Of course we still enjoyed it (somewhat) since it was made purely for that purpose no matter how cheesy it is. Yeah, we all complain but still come back to watch such sleazy show. We’re just jealous that we aren’t in Noir’s shoes because that lucky bastard has got all the skills and all the girls! This isn’t the worse series of the season or even for the year but I guess when they can even make this kind of crap that would make us feel both good (at least for those who like this kind of genre) and annoyed, it’s like giving us the middle finger to us because they could do whatever they want and we’ll still watch it. No great headaches watching this crap. Just great cringe. It feels the cringe increases the more the episodes go by. Unfortunately we don’t have enough LP that is high enough to create a skill that would erase this cringe fanservice fest or make something better out of it. Even if it costs as low as 1 LP, I don’t think it’s worth to make that change either. After all, there are lots of other similar stuffs that we get to access for free. Wink, wink. So Noir, you can keep the dungeon that you can only enter all to yourself. We got other dungeons to explore and hopefully find better quality ecchi fanservice harem anime.