Miami Guns

January 30, 2016

Doing my random browsing again on the internet, I thought of giving Miami Guns the pass since when I skimmed through the synopsis, I considered this to be one of those run of the mill buddy cop series. But rereading it again because my guts oddly told me to (really!) to make sure that it wasn’t just an ordinary series of characters with opposing and clashing personalities working together, maybe it does seem interesting about a pair of police partners that consists of a spoilt rich psychotic girl who only joins the police force on a whim simply because what better way to enjoy the thrills of car chases and beating up the ‘bad guys’, with a totally soft spoken but sharp tongued and observant daughter of the police chief. Hmm… Maybe this won’t be as bad after all. And the final clincher… Yukari Tamura is the cast of one of the main characters. That seals it. I need to see this show.

Episode 1
A lone bank robber has been told to rob the Central Bank of Miami. Thinking this would be easy pie, he barges in, unheeding the advice of his employer about the local police. He is in for a surprise because all the citizens take out their guns! The police have barricaded the area because after the failed robbery, the robber who has armed himself with explosives around his body has taken a baby hostage and holed himself up the clock tower. The Miami police chief, Clarence Amano and his daughter, Lu as well as the rest of the team arrive on scene. One of the robber’s demands is for an escape helicopter. But here comes fellow police officer, Yao Sakurakouji jumping down with such flashy extravagance. Yeah, she’s here to steal the limelight. Since her dad is freaking rich, she says she has bought the building and the guys can do whatever they want with it! Yeah, they can’t wait to fire their guns! Clarence thinks of going to trade himself for the baby hostage. His team cheers for his bravery but Yao is not happy he is getting all the attention and knocks him out! She’ll be trading places with him. The robber is already having his hands full changing the baby’s diapers and now what does this b*tch wants? He tells her to strip and she willingly does it just to show off her bikini. It only gets worse for the robber as the media thinks he is a pervert for making Yao strip and do perverted poses! So now she is a hostage. She can’t just leave with the baby, right? That is why Lu thought of coming with here but the egoist turned her down. Yao loses interest and ironically she has potential of harming the baby while the robber is the one protecting the little guy!

Yao goes to add more fuel to the fire by claiming the robber is getting aggressive and beating her up! She’s punching herself! But you can’t blame everybody for not noticing since it’s quite high up there. More despicable Yao is, she dresses up as the robber to taunt the cops to shoot at her! The robber finally regains control by tying up Yao and hanging her out to dry. Once the clock reaches 5pm, the cops get ready to head home. They don’t do overtime work since they don’t get paid! Lu gets this idea of driving the armour truck into the bank. They start filling the bag with the bank’s money (another of the robber’s demands) but they don’t feel too bad about it because remember, this building belongs to Yao and so it’s her money technically. Then they drive up to the clock tower to arrest the robber. However he warns them that he has planted bombs around the building. Yao can’t stand of losing more limelight and does some acrobatic move to get back in, accidentally pressing the detonator. The building collapses but everyone is still alive as they were taking shelter inside the armour truck. And Yao got the guts to blame Lu for trying to steal the limelight from her with this daring move and then blame her for all that has happened. The robber couldn’t be happier to go to prison but he calls them all the worst piece of sh*t as human beings! Oh yeah. Justice is served.

Episode 2
Time for a flashback summary about the girls. Sort of. Yao as the rich spoilt daughter of her father’s conglomerate, she is so fearsome that even the road gangs fear her! When a professional assassin, Leon Morimoto threatens her with a death note (he even signed the note), Yao wants to beat the crap out of him so Clarence assigns Lu to protect her. Thanks to Lu, Yao’s life is saved countless times. When facing off with Leon, Lu is even willing to put her life on the line to protect Yao. But that b*tch just teases her ass off. But then thoughts of how cool Lu was got to her. There is no way she can be cooler and prettier than her! Yao is going to play hero and shoots some giant ball to send it rolling down and pinning him under the pool. Feeling the excitement of it all, Yao decides to join the police force. Next is a flashback of why Yao always carry her trademark Mauser gun. Thanks to her huge estate, she is pretty much left to do anything (so it is not illegal if she is driving underage) with her butler, Jii supervising her. However she always seems to accidentally kill her mom. The final time she did it, mom gave her the Mauser. Maybe it could all be a bunch of lies because Lu remembers her mom died from some illness.

We are also shown a draft production of the series before it was final. So there were bunch of changes in character before it was finalized. Like this old professor who was killed off by turning into a monster and hence his beautiful assistant, Kaken taking over his role. Clarence originally started off as a black guy but with Lu being made his daughter, he turned white and that is why his afro was brought over. Then there’s Jii who is some sort of international James Bond and sex prowess in his heydays. Not forgetting the trio amateurs of the force, photographer Kosuke Inaba (voyeur and peeping tom), fast runner Haruki Ishikawa (rapist) and researcher Takuro Matsumoto (occultist). After much training from Lu and Yao, they become their faithful subordinates. New and young detective, Irotarou Sumi joins the force and was Lu’s high school club mate. Yao teases about their romance but this doesn’t sit well with Clarence. Then she makes a pun on his name, Junshoku which means to die on the duty and it becomes the running joke for a couple of scenes. Each time he is brought back to life, he is killed off shortly. Maybe they should just stop bringing him back to life.

Episode 3
A mysteriously girl screaming for help from a phone call that came in the wee hours of the morning to the police has Clarence sending Lu and Yao to infiltrate Miami’s all-girls high school to investigate. Of course Yao is more concerned in being popular. There is this girl, Nagisa Tojou who has high grades and popular with the rest that Yao calls a typical b*tch. But when Nagisa wants to be friends with her and admires her, suddenly Yao becomes her best friend. Lu heard some girls talking to the principal about their friend Ishida who was hospitalized but they can’t go visit her. Lu relays to Kaken to find out about Ishida but there is no such person registered in the hospital. Feeling something amiss about the principal, she has Kaken check his background out. As the duo have secret microphone to relay what they say back to HQ, because Yao is fooling around with boobs and panties, the rest of the force heard this and start arguing they want to infiltrate the school! Then they accidentally spill coffee on the machine… Can’t hear a damn thing now. The girls dread the physical examination because it is part of the school’s regulation to pass it or they can’t graduate. Trying to prepare life in the tough streets of Miami? Seems the principal is a shady guy. He has been making a deal with the Organization to sell girls to this organization for a handsome sum. The reason? They are getting worried with the all-male force turning gay! Who the heck is George?! Who the heck is Anthony?! So gay… Lu heard this and is about to arrest the principal and his cohort the vice but is knocked out by the biggest crook of them all: Nagisa!

Meanwhile Yao is going to show the special forces a thing or two as she uses live bullets to fire back! The captain, Suzuki also uses live rounds to fire back. Yao feels great to be the heroine as she leads the girls back into the building. She doesn’t care if other students are involved. The most important thing is their own safety! With Nagisa missing, she leaves the girls to fend for themselves while she goes look for her best friend. Nagisa bumps into Suzuki and laments that this crazy b*tch has got her plans hindered. Her goals are to rule this school and usurp the Organization by supplying girls to the soldiers but that Yao b*tch had to ruin it. When Yao meets her, she is so happy that she even got the cheek to say she’ll protect her but uses her as a human shield when Suzuki throws a bomb. Meanwhile the other girls won’t become sitting ducks so they use their sly resources by stripping down to their underwear. When the soldiers start thinking with the wrong head and let their guard down, they start hammering them properly. Suzuki opens a classroom to see. George x Anthony! Gay moment! It couldn’t even be more gay when Suzuki cries that he isn’t good enough for George! Lu is tied up and realizes the principal is the one behind Ishida’s kidnapping. He is going to get naughty with her by cutting up her underwear when Yao barges in. After tying them up, the principal recognizes Nagisa but in order to protect herself, she lies that she has been forced into this and taken advantage. Thankfully Yao is dumb enough to believe. Care to join her in beating up those old guys? Yao is shocked that Lu is going to shoot Nagisa but it is to fire at Suzuki who was going to get them. In the aftermath, the girls are thankfully for what Yao taught them. So when the Miami police force start barging in (some of them having their cameras ready), the girls straight away beat them up! High school girls are scary! Nagisa is all bandaged up like a mummy and vows to get her revenge.

Episode 4
Don’t panic if you think you’re watching the wrong anime. Because it may look like Initial D but today’s episode is a parody of it! An officer shows why his drifting allows him to catch criminals. But some traffic slipup causes him to crash and the criminal who thinks he has gotten away gets usurp by another drifter. Seems there is a serial case of car crashers being crashed and for each of them, a tofu being left at the scene and the traumatic victim could say nothing but rabbit. Clarence is pissed that his men are not really interested to solve this. Because if they would, they’d be a private detective instead of ending up in the police! Of course Yao thinks she has got this case solved. The culprit is a guy in a bunny suit delivering tofu! You should have known better than to expect anything from her. I think Lu baits her to get a car so that she can drive around to do investigations. After all, a reason she joined the police for the car chases, right? At the crash scene, they examine and taste the tofu. Although they can deduce where it came from, the problem is now the bunny guy. As they go around asking street racers, all of them give contradicting answers that they know who this guy is. Even if they resort to Yao flashing her panty to this wimpy racer, it comes expensive as she threatens him with her gun! Not afraid to fire a warning shot! So he spills the beans of some guy running a store named after the rabbit. Too bad he’s got a perfect alibi. Then they see somebody trying to mess with their car and think he is the culprit. A car chase is on. Although he crashes, the barricade saves him from falling off the cliff. Then Yao’s ‘excellent’ driving pushes him off. End of case? Not likely. Because we see the bunny guy watching from afar.

Next day, Yao gets an earful from Clarence instead of a praise. If she had stopped the culprit why is there another serial case right after that? Yao’s brilliant answer: The culprit snuck out of hospital! In that condition she put him? Annoyed with his lecturing, all she needs is to bring in the proof, right? Yeah. She barges into hospital, disregards the nurse’s advice that no visitors are allowed, shoots the knob when it is locked and then tries to haul the victim out just to prove he can drive! This guy turns out to be the wimpy racer who just wanted to exact revenge on them but they spot him before he could do anything. Yao gets a call from Lu that Kaken has researched the tofu and knows where it is made. So they see this handsome guy, Kameo Takumi who thinks one of his customers is using the tofu for criminal activities. Lu believes this guy is the culprit and even more so when Kaken has returned with the results of her research on him. As they wait outside his store, late into the night they see a truck driving out. As they try to tail him, suddenly he vanishes before popping up from behind and trying to ram them off. Lu explains that Kameo was bullied for being slow as his name means tortoise. So he is trying to satisfy his perversion and correct this trauma by dressing up as a rabbit and run anyone who is faster than him off the road. Yao’s car has been fitted with lots of gadgets by Kaken but Kameo is skilful in avoiding them all. The intense chase turns into a chicken race. Wait a second. A tortoise guy in rabbit suit playing chicken? As both sides accelerate, Kameo starts feeling scared that the crazy b*tch is not swerving. So he is more chicken than tortoise than rabbit? To his surprise, Yao extends the suspension of her car (Kameo’s truck passing safely under it). Kameo is surprised but he failed to navigate the corner and this causes him to turtle. Game over. You’re busted.

Episode 5
Yao and Lu are tasked to bring in the most wanted bounty hunter killer, Maria Rose. Each time she kills a bounty hunter, her reward goes up and now she stands at $9.8 million. Not sure if that number is too high for Yao or she is so rich that she isn’t motivated. Till Lu mentions Maria Rose is one of the top 5 gunslinger in the world and that Yao is no match for her. Yeah, that revved her up. They are zoomed by this handsome dude, Julio Peacemaker. Nobody passes Yao like that. Time to teach this dude a lesson and put the pedal to the metal. Once arriving in the cowboy town, Maria Rose just killed another target. The other guys suspect the duo because they are the only ones on scene. However upon taking a closer look, they recognize them as Miami Guns! That infamous, huh? It is deduced that Maria Rose might be disguising as one of them since nobody knows how she looks like as she is a master of disguise too. Julio tries to flirt with Miami Guns but they aren’t interested. Since he is persistent, he tells them that he is a bounty hunter too but with lousy shooting skills. He has a good nose and this means he can sniff out the culprit and then Miami Guns can take her down. What have they got to lose? Later some bounty hunters want Miami Guns to give police details about Maria Rose. Once they know who she is, they’ll kill her in her sleep. Yao chides him for doing it a cowardly way and should challenge her fair and square. Miguel is going to challenge her instead so Julio suggests a drinking challenge. Obviously Yao is a heavy drinker and easily wins. Because Julio’s pet alligator, Al tries to peek at her panties, Yao beats it up. Julio explains this isn’t just an ordinary alligator but a smart one who escaped from some institute and is his partner. When Miguel goes take a piss outside, Maria Rose strikes.

The others lament his death so they search the town for clues. They believe Maria Rose is hidden among them since Miguel didn’t draw his gun as he might have known this person. Then they stumble upon something and drag Julio out for a beat down. They find a cigarette butt on the scene and nobody but him here smokes. Julio believes he is framed and that Maria Rose has manipulated everyone to make them kill him. Any proof? Julio takes out his FBI badge! So who is the real culprit? Julio unmasks Miami Guns as the real Maria Rose! Remember, he has a keen sense of smell so there was gunpowder on them. Also, Julio can tell their vital statistics differ greatly from the real Miami Guns. Speaking of which, where are they? Pushing their car… The engine must have blown. Damn Kaken technology… A big gunfight ensues as Maria Rose takes the bartender as hostage. Julio suggests a duel. To their surprise, he is faster than them and even more baffling, he only fired one shot and how did he hit them both? Al got him covered. Even more surprise that Julio is not from the FBI. Looks like he is an impersonator having badges from the Miami police force, Scotland Yard and even hair dresser licence? Who is he? A messenger of peace who will save the world says he. Julio leaves town just as the real Miami Guns drag in. He gives Yao a passionate kiss and now she’s in love with him! What kind of justice is this? Lu is dumbfounded to see Maria AND Rose tied up and the bartender gets to keep the million dollar reward.

Episode 6
The Miami police will be receiving the assistance of FBI bomb specialist, Bruce Tsuji (you mean that Die Hard guy?!). Because the international terrorist, Joke Joedan has placed watermelon bombs all over Miami and is blackmailing them. Tsuji has been chasing this guy for 5 years and just when he found his hideout, he narrowly escaped. Tsuji demonstrates the bombs look, feel and smell like real watermelons but when cut, it explodes! Man, this Tsuji guy is a tough nut to crack because he can survive so many explosion demonstrations! I think the ladies are loving his iron dick. They have only a limited time to find them before it goes off tonight. As the police go look for the bomb, Yao is not interested and is rather interested in today’s pro wrestling final because her Jii is the coach for Watermelon Man. Say, doesn’t he look suspiciously familiar? However with Kaken creating a device to search for bombs, Yao won’t let her steal the limelight and starts searching. Too bad she turns up with nothing as Clarence and his force has already collected all the bombs. Joedan’s employer calls him about his miscalculation as the bombs are all collected (Joedan did this ransom thing because the cost of the bomb went over his budget). He wants his money back but Joedan is playing it cool since there is a wrestling match where the winner gets a million bucks. Yao is still not happy that the credit won’t go to her and her delusions of her saving the city by dumping the truckload of bombs into the ocean got to her. She hijacks the truck and the police are hot on her tail. Thanks to Kaken’s device, Lu finds her. After Yao returns from the toilet, the truck is missing. They trace it delivered to the wrestling stadium. Seems there is a special event whereby Watermelon Man will give out free watermelons as appreciation for fans. That is when Lu notices the similar looking moles on Watermelon Man’s arms and connects him to Joedan. They need to neutralize the bombs without letting the spectators know about it.

The wrestling match begins but as Watermelon Man rips apart his opponent, it is actually Yao in disguise! She beats him up to make him reveal where the detonator is. After Lu and Kaken bring back the pineapple detonator, Yao forces him to spill out the instructions to diffuse the bombs. (I can’t believe Tsuji and Clarence are going to explode them one by one. Tsuji won’t die but will Clarence…). Yao exerts too much power that Joedan faints. She continues the beating to wake him up but now he loses his memories! Oh no. Time is running out. At this rate it will be all Yao’s fault! Just when Yao beats out the final answer from Joedan, she realizes it is the wrong answer but Lu cuts the opposite wire and saves the day. Why did she do so? She knows well not to trust Yao! Clarence and Tsuji are going to give Yao her punishment for misconduct but surprisingly Lu and Kaken explain this was all Yao’s elaborate plan to catch the mastermind as he had the detonator. They might have got all the bombs but the culprit was still loose, right? No choice, the let her go. Yao becomes cocky and basks in her new credit. But why are the ladies backing her up so nicely? Because without her, they wouldn’t be able to collect the million dollar prize. Oh, Yao can’t get mad. Because they’ll tell the truth otherwise… Sly b*tches!

Episode 7
Yao tries to diffuse a bomb inside the police HQ. Too bad she screwed up and ran for her life. Boom! Actually Lu already did a good job in diffusing it but Yao thought she could do better and the rest is history. Instead of reflecting her actions, she is on a winning streak at a pachinko parlour! Clarence gets a surprised call from Yao’s dad. He wonders why he hasn’t fired her. Clarence tries to be modest but he is being told to fire Yao immediately. He thought letting his daughter do what she wanted and she would get bored of it but now this has dragged out too long. When Yao learns she has been fired, she drops a bomb on what is left on the police HQ!!! However Jii drops her into the ocean after that as part of her dad’s plan to cut her off from civilization. But you can’t just kill her off like that since she managed to wrestle a shark and bring it back on land! Unfortunately for her, her card has been stopped and she can’t use it to buy stuffs. Bumping into Lu, Yao accuses her of loving to see her in misery. On the contrary, Lu is worried as she could never tell what a wild animal would do when corner. Yao takes this as an insult and will show them. While trying to cook the shark, she smells something good from a nearby mansion and barges in. Oh wait. Isn’t his Nagisa’s home? The maid calls the police although Nagisa is not too happy since they have secrets they are hiding. With Yao making the place like her home, in no time the police surrounds it. Yao thought they are here to get her but noticing the guns in their hands, Nagisa lies that the police are suspecting her for a murder suspect. Nagisa plays the emotional card that she will go try convince them but once outside, she tells them to kill her! It will be the best revenge for Yao’s friends to kill her sworn enemy. However crazy Yao escapes (using Nagisa’s face as a landing pad).

Yao becomes a degenerating primitive wild woman called Miami Man and wreaking havoc across town. All traps by the police have failed. Not even Kaken’s banana trap or trying to convince her with words. Finally Lu’s tranquilizer takes her out. Back in the cage of her father’s mansion, seems Yao is gradually recovering her memories but that will take 3 full years (anticipated time). Her dad regrets his action but blames it on the Miami police. He doesn’t care how but he wants his daughter back the way she was. Otherwise the entire police force will be disbanded! Lu volunteers to bring her back. Yao doesn’t recognize her and attacks her. As she rips her clothes, her money fell out. That rings some familiar bells to her. Lu tries to get her to pronounce money and slowly bit by bit, Yao finally does so and returns to her normal self. This means she is keeping all that loose change. It is ironic that money represents civilization for Yao, they’re trying to say that money settles things! But you don’t know how deep Yao’s grudge runs because now she bombs daddy’s mansion!

Episode 8
Far off the coast of Miami is the resort island, Crystal Island. A camper is telling her mates about the murders that took place here. They got spooked thinking the killer crept up on them but it’s just some frogman police. Our Miami police girls are on this island to investigate a spate of murders. But Yao and Kaken seem to be more interested in having fun. Tempting, eh? Lu goes around to rid of trespassers since the place is off limits but all she could find are a straight couple and gay couple (George and Anthony???!!!). Because Yao is clueless as usual, Yao has to explain some back story of the case. Although it is believed that the killer was killed by police 5 years ago, his body was never found. Could it be he is back as a ghost? This freaks out Yao since it has come to our attention this girl is afraid of ghosts although she unconvincingly says she isn’t. Surprisingly the couples approach them. Seems their boats, the only ticket out here has been set adrift. Somebody cut off the ropes. And they’re stuck in a far off place with no signal. How long can Yao hold her sanity? When something is heard rumbling in the woods, Yao panics and rushes off, getting lost in the midst. Of course Lu goes to fetch her back but also takes a few chances to prank her with ghost faces.

When they return, they heard a scream. Did the killer or ghost make his move? Turns out the gay couple is playing having S&M play. Disappointed? Yao and Kaken get interested to see what the other couple is doing but they’re not in their next door cabin. They hear their real scream this time. The masked killer is real and is going to get them! Lu shoots and breaks the wooden axe. When the killer is unmasked, she turns out to be an old woman. She blames the straight couple as a pair of con artists. They conned her into buying a weird mask, using up her life savings. Who the blame? Yao becomes mad and wants to beat up the couple for all that they made her gone through. The old woman kills herself by leaping off the cliff. Lu jumps in to save her. She sees evil spirits trying to pull her down! She resigns to her fate but before passing out, she sees Yao jumping in to save her. Everybody is safe in the end and Lu is surprised that Yao actually saved her and was worried she was dead. But Yao calls it even because she realizes Lu can’t swim (maybe that’s why she refused to join in the fun earlier in the day). But Lu wonders if the spirits were just her illusions as it could be just seaweeds her feet was tangled with. The only way back is via a makeshift craft. Well, enjoy your ‘ocean resort’. Yao freaks out and almost drowns when Kaken shares the photos she took of her earlier in the day. There are ghosts in the background!!!

Episode 9
Nagisa is even resorting to black magic to curse Yao. But her henchmen suggest hiring an assassin and you can see her smile from ear to ear. With a $10 million bounty on her head, all sorts of assassins barge into Yao’s room to take her out. If not for Jii who took every bullet and stab from military men to ninjas and Yao’s extreme uncanny luck for walking out and not even getting a scratch anywhere. When she enters Miami police HQ, everyone is shocked to see her alive. There’s even a trail of destruction of her failed assassination that she didn’t even notice! Yeah… Miami is not a hot bed gathering of all assassins who is out for her head. Even Clarence joked he would could take her out to be richer. Yeah… They want her to stay low but she will not be cowed as she has more important things to do. Clarence thought Yao is being brave and a sign of motivation for the police they shouldn’t worry about their own life. Lu hates to break it to him that the important thing Yao was talking about is the Miss Miami contest held today. Feeling tempted to join the bounty hunt, Clarence? Julio gets a call for a job and he agrees to take it. At the backstage, Yao meets Nagisa who is participating. She puts up her nice façade but at her back, she really hates her and today is going to be her last day. As all the contestants strut their stuff on stage (Julio masquerading as the cameraman), suddenly a shot takes out Yao! OMG! Is she dead?! Lu cries for her when Yao wakes up! Thanks to Kaken, her swimsuit is bulletproof. Tears for nothing? It’s already shocking that nobody screamed or ran but just watched the ‘spectacle’. The contest carries on because Yao says so and the winner will be decided via obstacle race. What does this have to do with a beauty contest? Oh, no wonder there were no judges. Of course this race is suited for Yao who is going to bulldoze everyone.

The race is filled with traps designed to kill Yao but you know about her extreme luck. As for the rest of the contestants, they get into nip slip conditions. Too bad Nagisa stepped on her own bomb. In the control room, she is furious so she decides to unleash her ultimate weapon, Genichirou. He is in fact a giant octopus. In the pool, the octopus is also a pervy since it has a penchant of stripping swimsuits. Lu is in danger of being a victim when Julio signals to Al to make his move. A tranquilizer puts the octopus to sleep and Yao claims the glory all for herself. Nagisa is so desperate that she makes an announcement over the microphone (risking her voice to be recognized) for all assassins to kill Yao now! The prize will be paid 20 times more! Wow. You can see all assassins. From grandma to kids and even animals out for her head! WTF?! After Al has evacuated the real crowd, Julio bombs the ceiling. Then he gives guns to the girls for them to go wild. You can bet every assassin lost to this true monster. But there is one. And she is in the control room. Nagisa fears this is the end of her but she gets a sly idea. When Yao barges in, Nagisa acts like her henchmen put her up to all this. Instantly Yao takes them out. However Yao is not pleased that Lu won the contest. Nagisa curses another failure and notices Yao glaring suspicious stares at her. Julio is contacted by Yao’s father who has paid him for being Yao’s bodyguard. Although Julio says that girl doesn’t need one, father mentions he was just the insurance. The real bodyguard (Jii) seems to be frolicking with nurses at the hospital he is recuperating. You naughty old devil! Julio has also delivered a video to Yao’s father as part of the deal. A video of Yao in the contest. Enjoy.

Episode 10
Yao destroy a train company just to catch a thief! You bet the complaints and calls for compensation will be coming. Clarence says it is her responsibility to pay $5 billion so Yao thought she could call her daddy and pay. However he says no allowance for her! Looks like Clarence is going to deduct this from her pay! So is she going to work free forever? Hell, no! She’s going to rob her fellow police officers! Before that can happen, Clarence has her team up with a robot, Detective Robot R, believed to be made by the brains of HQ costing $10 billion! Why this drum can? Lu is on some undercover mission. As typical Yao is, she tries to pawn it (worth only $4), pimp it (who wants to screw with a robot?) and has it do manual labour (can’t get up after falling?). So when she’s troubled over repaying back the amount, R suggests going to a newly opened casino where with his brains he can help her win big. At the poker table, R whispers to Yao that everyone is calling a bluff and so Yao increases the stakes despite she has no hand. But the fatty boss also raises the stakes. Yao is cautious but R maintains he is also bluffing. So after Yao antes R, they show their hand. She has nothing but he has the weakest single pair. Fatty wins. R now belongs to him and goes over to his side. Did he betray her? Nope. He claims his calculations were perfect. She has bad luck. About her debt? Not his problem. This guy is good! Yao is kicked out and joins a homeless guy drinking. Yeah, he had to buy a vending drink can for her with his money! He claims he was fired from a train company after Miami Guns ruined it. He got blamed and his wife left him. Oh sh*t… When Yao sees a $100 bill stuck on his back, she takes it and claims she can double that amount. Typical gambler excuse. Meanwhile the fatty contacts his boss and is running a scam of cheating everyone. Lu is an undercover working here and heard this conversation. Oh, Julio too.

Yao blows it all! Only a coin left. Homeless guy wants his money back but Yao is still confident she can turn the tide! Then the money slips. Somebody picks up and plays the slots. Turns out to be Julio. His luck wins them $50 million! Homeless guy wants to share the money but Yao claims it is all hers and just gives him a few miserable coins. When he learns that Yao is part of Miami Guns, he is enraged. Time for revenge. Yao then bumps into Lu who tells her the shady operations of this casino. With R giving him great advice and the dealer is in cohorts with them, you can never beat fatty even with a zillion bucks. But Yao goes to play poker with him again. The stakes are raised so high and she doesn’t have enough. Don’t worry. Lu will loan some money. How nice. But with steep interest. Lu drugs the dealer’s drink to make him run to the toilet to take over his place. Julio joins the game. R as usual whispers to fatty that everybody is bluffing. Julio up the antes till it reaches a trillion! When it’s time to call, fatty’s straight beat Julio’s pairs. But Yao has got a flush! It’s her win! Homeless guy comes in with a gun to threaten Yao for his money back. Fatty steals his gun upon learning Yao is from the police in which Yao didn’t hesitate to reveal her identity. However the gun is a toy gun that homeless guy stole from a statue. Didn’t think he got the money to buy a real gun, eh? R pleads to go to the police station together but Yao kicks that drum can over on fatty. Julio leaves his winnings to homeless guy. Did he win? His actual hand is four of a kind! He said a pair but he actually had double pairs! He coolly leaves the casino and it explodes subsequently. Why? Because R has a self destruct code if he lies down for too long! OMG! So now Yao not only has $10 billion debt of destroying the robot but that loan from Lu too. To her dismay, she learns R was actually modelled after her. No wonder so familiar. So young, so in debt…

Episode 11
Aota Saburo just got out of prison and he had the bad luck to molest Yao. Naturally he gets beaten up and sent back to do time. Oddly, Nagisa just came out from the police HQ and passing by Yao, she invites her to her house for her birthday party. After Aota gets locked up, he initiates his plan to set the prison on fire and all the convicts escape. Although the police manage to capture most of them, a few remains elusive and they are the past villains of this series. Unsurprisingly, they are all hired by Nagisa for the birthday setup. Lu questions Yao’s blind friendship with Nagisa. She claims they are the same and it makes Lu sound like a jealous friend. When Yao arrives for the party, the criminals take her hostage. As Nagisa is playing the victim like as though those convicts set her up, Yao has no choice but to obey and gets beaten up. Wow. She sits there and takes a beating without fighting back! Even the baddies don’t feel the fun. One of the underlings who was sent to do an errand (because Nagisa views him as disposable anyway) goes out drinking and he so happened to bump into Lu who makes him spill the beans with his blabbermouth. This makes Lu to be sure that Nagisa is the mastermind behind this. So she busts into the mansion and takes down the villains all by herself. Is Lu mad seeing Yao hurt? But here’s another surprise. Yao wants to save Nagisa despite being beaten up badly. Meanwhile Nagisa contacts the boss of the Organization and if she succeeds with her revenge, she will earn a place in the Organization. When Lu barges into Nagisa’s room, she deduces her revenge plot. Yao still doesn’t believe. She might be set up by someone. But has she got proof? Lu kicks Aota’s stomach to make him spit out gasoline. This guy is like a human pump and the one responsible for the prison fire. Then the dumb maid comes in with the birthday cake. She slips and the entire place is on fire. Yao saves Nagisa and takes her to safety.

As Nagisa sees the Organization’s boss, he mentions although the incident was hard to cover up for Nagisa’s family, the Organization still managed to secure Nagisa’s release despite she remains a high suspect in the police’s books for the incident. He gives her a bouquet of roses and tells her to use it however she likes. She is now visiting Yao in hospital. She still treats her like her friend. And then Yao had to pour cold water on it that Nagisa is truly the culprit behind this. Her butler, maid and all those hired criminals she lowly paid to keep their mouths shut, all ratted on her. Yao still refuses to believe and this irritates Nagisa so much that she just admits it all! I guess she’s not shedding crocodile tears about being lonely and doesn’t need friends. Yao can feel her pain. She somewhat understands. They’re pretty similar, right? Lu might look like a cold hearted b*tch trying to arrest Nagisa but she says they are still the police and it’s their job. Nagisa clutches the roses so tight that its poisonous thorns cause her to bleed. Although she is quickly saved, she is now in a coma. Yao is discharged but is feeling gloomy and spacing out at the same time. Apparently with Lu having information she is working for someone still doesn’t deter Yao because she knows she is still going to arrest her as a cop. Believe it or not, she resigned from the force.

Episode 12
Yao has been missing for a week. She’s been going around beating up small fries to get information about the Organization. No luck. Whether they know or not, they get beaten up real good. Stress relief? Then she stumbles into Julio and is in no mood for his flirting. Till he mentions about some information on the Organization. You interested? She is disappointed-cum-deceived of his shabby place and instant coffee he serves her. She warns him not to fool around so he mentions about the information he got after doing his investigations. All crimes in Miami are completely under the control of the Organization. Nobody knows its true character. This reliable source led him to a name: Kanimiso Gang. Crab brains? That is for real and not a joke! Since this information isn’t free, he wants to make love with her but she is clearly not in the mood. Okay. He’ll settle for her cooperating to take down this group. Oh by the way, the instant coffee is expired. On a luxury liner, an important meeting is taking place and you might have guessed, the big boss will be here. The entire Miami police force could be on watch on this ship. But the duo slip in with Al putting up his cutesy act to deceive the guards. And the rest they just use their fists.

As they go separate ways, Yao bumps into Lu. She threatens to arrest her since she knows she’ll be pulling off some sort of nuisance. But Lu wants Yao to come back to the force as she told Clarence she took leave. Yao won’t listen and will do things her way. Lu fires a warning shot but this doesn’t deter Yao a bit. Lu makes up a fake reward to motivate her comrades capture Yao. The big chase begins onboard the ship. Kanimiso’s big boss initiates his operation. All the ship’s crew are his underlings as they take everyone and all the dignitaries as hostage. Julio didn’t expect to reunite with Yao again. All that running around must have made her reach here in this room which contains a ballistic missile. Lu is also here and wants to know more about what is going on but before Julio can spill the beans, the guards discover them and they have to run. Julio throws them a diskette that contains vital information. Julio is then confronted with Sergio who is not only Kanimiso’s second in command but the big brother of Maria Rose. He is here for revenge. The only way to settle this is a quick draw. Shockingly, Julio loses. So sad when a handsome guy dies? Seems this affects Yao a lot seeing him fall down the floor beneath. Why all the ‘romantic’ flashbacks with him? She’s sad. She’s mad. She still won’t listen to Lu to come back to the force and goes to the room where the big boss is as told by Julio. To her shock, she couldn’t believe the big baddie puppet master is no other than her father.

Episode 13
However Yao’s father has overslept and wakes up to attend the summit. Yao realizes she got the wrong room. So when she opens the right room… OMG! Anthony x George making out!!! WTF?! Is it gay time already?! Lu ties up Yao and tells her she has been duped by Julio. Because Clarence and the other police are not responding (they’ve been held hostage and so does Yao’s dad who just waltz right into it), Lu goes to check it out. Kaken tries to analyze the disk but since she cannot crack the code, surprisingly Anthony has the skills to do so. Lu brings back injured Julio. He reveals this is actually in activation code for the missile and its target coordinates. Kanimiso stole the missile from a foreign country but couldn’t get the key card to launch it because he stole it. They offered him a large sum of money in exchange on this ship. Julio knew they couldn’t be trusted and arrived earlier to check it out and true enough, they won’t be paying him. With the missile’s coordinates targeting Miami, Lu gets hyped up over this conspiracy and breaks free from her ropes. She wants to rejoin the police force and Lu couldn’t be happier to throw her badge back. The big boss reveals he is targeting Miami because he wants to kill all the rich people. He couldn’t forget the humiliation that day. Looks like some nuclear fallout aftermath and the rich kicked out the poor to build a city of greed and corruption. He will relish in seeing all the rich people burn. Yao and Julio are captured. Sergio wants to kill him but the boss doesn’t want him to be so hasty yet. Julio does not have the key card with him but will gladly exchange it with the money and free all the hostages. So once the money is given and the hostages rounded up at the deck, Julio calls Al to hand over the key card. The boss lets him free but he will let Sergio decide where he wants to go. Sergio wants to duel with him again but sneaky Julio has hidden guns up his sleeves. With both sides injured, they continue their gun slinging.

If you’re wondering where Lu and Kaken are, it is because they are trying to disarm the missile. Can they do it? They’re not rocket scientists, you know. Better be quick because everyone is counting on them. The big boss sets the key card and wants Yao’s dad to do the honours in destroying the city or else he’ll have his daughter shot. Yao is bored with all this and has one of the terrorists hand over her gun. A headshot to the boss and they fire away to the other terrorists. Anthony and George were masquerading as the terrorists. However the big boss is still alive because he is wearing a metal mask and has already pressed the activation. 60 seconds till impact. He takes Yao’s dad as hostage but Yao kept thinking of Nagisa and shoots through dad’s shoulders to reach the baddie’s heart! As the missile is launching, Yao jumps on to ride with Lu for she doesn’t want her to hog the limelight. Ah, so Yao… They reconcile being partners but of course Yao gloats she is the bigger one. Moments before smashing into the city, Yao tries to turn the missile away since it is like a plane. A close shave that almost smashed into the hospital. But it woke up Nagisa. But now it is turning back to the ship. Julio and Sergio’s duel ends when Al bites the latter’s crotch. I don’t know what component Lu ripped out but there was no explosion when the missile crashed into the ship. The ladies safely parachuted down into the sea. Julio passes by them and you bet Yao is angry when he admits he was faking his injury with ketchup just to get her sympathy. It was also as insurance in case she wants to kill him for finding out he used her as bait. Thanks to her, his money is safe. Adios, senorita. No matter how mad she is, she can’t outrun a speedboat. But Julio might be just lying to her since his injury is real. Don’t want a troublesome woman to fall for him, eh? In the aftermath, Nagisa is amnesiac but it is for the best since she is happy and cheerful. Then she got run over by Yao’s car as she is chasing a thief who stole her money! Nagisa instantly recognizes her and vows revenge! Oh dear… Bad times are back… Yao’s dad knows his daughter will kill him if she finds out he invested money in that missile. Better keep quiet…

Police Brutality!
As silly and sometimes annoying as it comes, I have to admit that I enjoyed this series overall. Not to say that I set my expectations low nor did I set it in a way that it surpasses them. But at the end of the wacky ride, I am very much entertained with all the absurdity and nonsense. And going by that itself, I think it is already a pretty good job for a ‘retro’ anime that premiered back in 2000. And perhaps a sequel was never warranted because Yao already ‘killed off’ the big baddie when he is giving his typical villain monologue that he will return for the second or third time just to shut him up so she can celebrate her victory. That is how big of a badass Yao is that no super villain can usurp her! But I guess not badass enough to warrant her own spin-off series… Whoops! Shouldn’t be saying that or it will give her the wrong impression…

Making the series work is of course the cop pair of contrasting personality. I suppose that is why many movies and series that fall under this genre work well because of the funny and strange interactions they make. They become the strange bedfellows and so bizarre their cooperation in getting things done, sometimes lady luck has no choice but to smile on them and make things go their way. Of course there are times when such pairing becomes generic and ubiquitous and that ultimately bring the show down to its knees. Thankfully it isn’t the case here because with ‘amazing’ main characters, you won’t be bored in seeing how they go about solving crimes in Miami. Well, sort of. I wonder even if the duo have saved Miami, would it be a curse because now the duo will continue being rampant. If it was destroyed, everyone could have forever ‘rest in peace’. No more worries of crimes and police incompetency. Yeah, and where would the fun be, right?

Of course the biggest win and fail of this series goes to Yao who is no doubt the show stealer (I think she wants it to be that way either). She is like a double edge sword. She is the freaking culprit who wreaks havoc upon the city and solves them. Well actually more of the former and if the latter ever happens, it isn’t entirely in a good way. Yao is exactly the kind of character you would love to hate thanks to her spoilt carefree b*tchiness that just annoys you with no end. Despite that, ultimately you cannot bring yourself to hate her and the most find her amusing either since she does make you laugh with her silly and unconventional dumb luck. It is hard to say whether if the city would have been better off without her since he does what she wants just because she has 2 cents more, doesn’t listen to others (just because she has 3 cents more) and takes the law into her own hands all for the sake of her own glory and centre of attention. Nobody will ever outshine her ever! Makes you feel like you want to beat up a b*tch, eh?

Especially her trademark quote each time a case is solved (or so she thinks), “Justice is served!”. Yeah. Whose justice may I ask? Without her, Miami would have been such a boring place and a breeding ground for criminals because if you think about it, the police force is such a bunch of unmotivated f*ckers and if you want to wait for proper procedures and not barge in first like Yao, the crime is already dusted and done. Therefore I believe her motto would be shoot first, ask questions never. You go girl! Yao isn’t entirely a b*tch since she does have a rare human side although it is her misplaced blind friendship loyalty to Nagisa. When her so called best friend takes the fall, you can see the change in her eyes that she really means business and serious in taking down the culprit. So do you still love or hate her? Or both? Despite her outrageous behaviour and clashing personality with Lu, don’t you think she has a soft spot that she cares about her? Maybe she is just being tsundere the wild way? Anyway, despite having some humane side, she is more of a wild beast at other times. After all, who would Yao be if not her b*tchy self? And I don’t think would have it any other way either.

Ah, where would Yao be without the ever serious and calm Lu? I’m sure you have noticed that there are a handful of times that if not for Lu, Yao would have been dead meat. Despite her deadpan face, in addition to be the brains and solving pieces of the puzzle, Lu also has her ‘funny’ side as she mostly plays the rebuking role to Yao’s antics and stupidity. Sometimes you wonder with her emotionless face and expressionless speeches, was she born with that kind of looks or has the hard biting crime reality of Miami got to her. You could also say that Lu has a soft spot for her partner and deeply cares for her. There are times when she genuinely cries over her if you noticed. Just like Yao, she just doesn’t show it or say it upfront. Is she being tsundere too? Ah well, relationship between women, so complicated that men just can’t understand! Haha!

Other side characters are funny and memorable in their own way. Though, I believe not memorable enough to hog away the limelight from Yao. Like Clarence who is always stressing out as the chief cop over Yao’s outrageous behaviour that costs money for repairs and at the expense of the police’s image. It still boggles me that with all that stress, how come his afro hairstyle is still thick and black. Because at this rate, he should be losing them all by pulling them out. I don’t know if he will look menacing as a bald chief but this afro only enhances his comical joker role. This guy could be a stand up comedian if he isn’t working in the police force. Then there is Kaken who doesn’t really make an impact in the show overall and even if she does, it is her wacky inventions that aren’t useful in a practical sense but they do serve their purpose at least for their little role in the episode. For instance, that handy detector that detects the smell of Yao’s socks and shoes. WTF. Jii is a mysterious guy because aside from serving as Yao’s butler, he is known to wear so many hats in the past that it is like he was everywhere and done everything before. Who is this guy who is a killer with the ladies?

Julio serves as the cool mysterious hero who aids our Miami Guns from time to time. So cool that it makes me wonder if he is some sort of wolf in sheep clothing because you can’t tell what is on his mind although his track record sees him helping out Miami Guns directly or indirectly. Is he friend or is he foe? Maybe they want to put in some little romance in addition to the comedy, drama and action so little hints of Julio x Yao although it amounts to nothing. That guy is a smooth con operator after all. Heck, I even though it could be turning yuri with Yao x Lu but that didn’t happen either. But there was certainly Anthony x George gay time! Yikes! To complete the cliché, you need a pet mascot and as silly as Al the alligator look, you can’t dismiss how cute it looks, right? Awww… So cute!

Nagisa’s stress in ridding of Lu is similar to Clarence. Just that she is on the opposite side of the divide. Her attempts to get revenge on her always backfire. Sometimes it is cruel to think that it is divine retribution for this ‘bad girl’ to want revenge but that even badder girl gets away scot free without even knowing what hit her. Don’t you just feel sorry for her? And when she tried to take her life that becomes the catalyst for Yao to change herself and take action, I’m not sure if I should feel pity for her since due to the nature of this anime, you shouldn’t be feeling any love lost for any of this sort of characters. At the end of the series, her role in the series as the bad luck girl is cemented because with her getting her ugly memories back, you can bet that as long as Yao lives, she will never have peace in her life (not that she can rest in peace even if she’s dead because I believe her soul will always be in torment). She will always bear the brunt of Yao’s atrocities so long she continues to remember this wild monkey girl.

Also making this series funny in addition to the outrageous and nonsensical stuffs Yao pulls off, his the several parodies that this series makes references to. Sometimes I feel that the visual style of the title of each episode is a giveaway on the kind of parody it will refer to for the episode. You can spot references from Friday The 13th, Saturday Night Live, Die Hard, Initial D and even Neon Genesis Evangelion peppered throughout the series. On this topic of parody, after watching the series, it occurs to me that the biggest irony that the setting of this Miami city in this anime isn’t exactly the real Miami city in USA. If you think about it, you can spot the vast difference between both cities. Like this series’ Miami is set near the mountains and deserts unlike the everglades and seaside. What about the people that seemingly look and talk like Japanese? Because if you consider Florida as the nearest state to the Caribbean, shouldn’t you see more Hispanics instead? If you are sharp enough, you will see the store signs are in Japanese instead of Spanish (real life Miami has many signs in this language) and this city is right hand drive instead of left. Oh, did you notice this too? Miami has its own currency! With all this ‘facts’, it feels like they have only taken Miami in name and nothing of the real city resembles anywhere close to it. I thought there was a town in Japan called Miami, you know, something like that town called Obama, but nothing of that sort.

There is a handful of delicious fanservice although don’t expect it to be spamming you every five minutes or so. Seeing Lu getting her clothes snipped away and dangerously revealing her undies or just Yao who has no qualms running around in her panties (basically that is what the entire final episode has her dressed in) because it means the more people looking at her, the more she is at the centre of attraction. It would be such a waste not to flaunt that hot bod of hers, right? If you have it, flaunt it! We guys couldn’t agree more. Funnily, I read that Al is supposed to be a perverted little alligator. I don’t remember seeing him being perverted in subsequent episodes after his debut in trying to peak into Yao’s panties (lack of screen time, I guess), but in the opening credits, you can see this little green creature cheekily fascinating over our main characters’ panties in some scenes. I wonder if he is planning to steal Yao’s panties. Oh, art and drawing you ask? Feels pretty okay especially for a 2000 era anime. Nothing to complain. Some scenes using CGI. Pretty okay too for that era although it looks pretty dated right now.

As said Yukari Tamura was the seiyuu that sealed the deal for me to watch this series, being familiar with her trademark squeaky voice, I was expecting her to be in Yao’s role. To my surprise, she plays Lu instead. This is not the first time I have heard pulling off such emotionless character role like Saku in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes, Ringo in Nourin and Ichigo in Onegai Teacher and of course that suspicious Lemon in Ano Natsu De Matteiru. Instead, it is Megumi Toyoguchi who plays that carefree Yao instead. Playing vast character roles throughout her anime career that includes Meg from Bakuretsu Tenshi, Revy from Black Lagoon, Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist, Chifuyu from Infinite Stratos and even a very similar character to our Yao in the form of Ran of Super GALS, she definitely does sound fitting to her role. So instead of being disappointed of not hearing Yukari Tamura’s trademark voice, I have somewhat perfectly settled into their portrayed characters.

The rest of the other casts include Akira Ishida as Julio (Zeref in Fairy Tail), Rie Tanaka as Kaken (Suigin Tou in Rozen Maiden), Chiaki Osawa as Nagisa (Tamami in Tenshi No Shippo), Mitsuru Ogata as Clarence (Issei’s father in High School DxD series) and Tomomichi Nishimura as Jii (Anzai in Slam Dunk). On a trivial note, I found out that Yukari Tamura is also the voice of Al but that little alligator doesn’t have any real lines but make cute squeaking sounds so I guess I didn’t recognize her. Heh, I thought alligators roar? The opening theme, Seeds by Lastier is a solid rock outfit that gets you into the pace of what to expect from this series. The ending theme on the other hand sounds a little groovier although Kiseki No Shiro by Epidemic would ultimately be another rock piece. Not bad actually.

Overall, remember not only to leave your brains at the doorstep but also your moral values if you want to watch and enjoy this silly yet satisfying police series. If you want to call it that. A fun buddy cop series made even more fun by the fact that our main duo are females as opposed to the predominantly male stereotypes of this genre. In a nutshell, a fun and wacky ride that will leave you pleased in your guilty pleasure and escapades. Justice is served. With a police officer like Yao in the force, will your city be safe or dangerous? It’s too close to call. But be sure of one thing. Stay the hell out of her way and don’t cross her path if you would love to see tomorrow’s daylight. I suppose in today’s time the slightest misconduct from the police would send the public enrage and putting up protests all over the place. If Yao really existed, she could have beaten the crap out of all of them and then claim all the glory for quelling the nuisance. Yeah, I figure that is why sometimes we close an eye and let incidents like this slide. Justice definitely not served.

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