Isekai Cheat Magician

December 8, 2019

Oh no. Here we go again. From the title, one can easily tell that Isekai Cheat Magician is yet again going to be another isekai genre. Even more so the protagonist is going to be an overpowered one. Have we still not learnt from the past overpowered main character isekai series?! But wait! This one is a bit different. How different? Hey, at least the main overpowered character didn’t have to die in the first episode! Yup, no reincarnation into another fantasy world. Heck, he was summoned there! So now you can’t blame the series for killing off its protagonist in the first episode! And to make it even better and double the fun, our main guy didn’t just get summoned to the other world. In fact, his companion too is summoned! That’s right. Two main characters summoned to another world. Do you not see how ‘different’ that is to other isekai animes? But everything else turns out to be cliché and more or less the same… Here we go again…

Episode 1
A summoning ritual went awry. An attacker tries to kill the summoner but the bodyguard managed to kill the killer. But the summoning is still activated. Hence our unlucky boy, Taichi Nishimura is shocked to find magic circles all over him. He tries to push his friend, Rin Azuma out of the way but she won’t leave him and so they both get warped to another world. As they try to make out their surroundings, a demon horse attacks them. Taichi felt the need to be manly and die like one so without any proper skills he tries to become the horse’s bait. How uncool. Luckily, adventurers, Barada, Raquelta and Mejilla save his ass by killing the horse. They let the duo tag along and talk about the increase in monster attacks lately. They agree to take them to the next town of Azpire but in return, Taichi must get back on good terms with Rin. Yup, that girl is mad he tried to die a hero and let her be all alone in this world. What kind of a jerk would let that happen???!!! So with Taichi apologizing and promising he won’t do that again, can’t stay mad at him forever, right? The adventurers guide the duo to the adventurer’s guild. I mean, you’re stuck in this world, might as well become one, right? As they try to register, it dawned to them they can understand what everybody says despite not understanding the language and even read what this language they don’t know! While conducting the aptitude test, despite nothing seemingly happened, the clerk got alarmed and calls for the guild’s master, Gerard and a high level adventurer, Myura. Because he can’t register them now, he has Myura take them to the home of Lemiya. They are going to be her apprentices. Meanwhile shady people report about the summoning that was activated despite going awry. No matter. They have cast a wide net to look for the lost ones and will receive a report in a few days.

Episode 2
Lemiya explains and to put it shortly, Taichi and Rin are overpowered. Wow. It’s more than 9000!!! Hence they are becoming her disciples to help control their magic. So there is a brief lesson on the difference between magicians and sorcerers as well as the 4 elements that exist in magic. So normal people can only use 1 magic but there are some who can utilize more. Like Rin who is able to use all 4 and Taichi he isn’t a mage but a sorcerer but his power makes him being dubbed the Unique Magician? Confusing. Lemiya trains Taichi while Rin gets Myura as her teacher. While Rin naturally brings out her abilities without much effort (making Myura a bit redundant), Taichi has a harder time. He thought he heard some voice speaking to him but it could be his imagination. If they managed to control their powers, they have the ability to take over nations. Sounds tempting, right? But Lemiya knows the capital has troubles and hopes it won’t reach here. Even so, she hopes to train her apprentices so they can stand on their own. We see the duo train more and they get better each time. They also take out some monsters including, uhm, horned rabbits? And the sweetest revenge is that they can kill that demon horse now. Now that they have graduated, Lemiya lets them in on one thing. They are both considered as lost ones as there are phenomena that sorcerers summon others from another world to here. If they want to know why they were summoned, it’s best to find that summoner. But it will be easy because such sorcery requires very high level of power and only a few can do this. Even a rarity among rare sorcerers. So for now Taichi and Rin’s goal is to return to Azpire to become adventurers and earn their keep. That night, Taichi hears that voice again who tells him they will soon meet.

Episode 3
Taichi and Rin are now Rank E adventurers and doing the basic of quests. But soon they receive and official summon by Gerard requesting them to get info from a bar. There is currently goods shortage and it is believed this bar is smuggling them. This looks like a job for Rank D adventurers but since this has already failed twice, if they fail again, they might have to see Rank C adventurers and cough up more reward money. Yeah, so asking them is like trying to penny pinch. The duo ask around and rumours have it that monsters have been attacking transports. When they enter the bar to find out more, of course those rowdy men underestimate these rookies and got their asses handed to them when they try to attack. Eventually they spill the beans that someone hired them but they don’t know who. As they leave, they are attacked by assassin babes. They manage to defeat them but the assassins left one of them behind? Conveniently Taichi and Rin take her back to Gerard where she is imprisoned. So they let her keep her getup and mask? You mean they’re not interrogating her yet? With the shortage of goods, this causes the town to suffer from inflation. Yeah, it’s real bad. Myura seeks the duo’s help and hopes they would join her to further investigate. Hence they travel to a farm where the fruits are ready to harvest but robbers have been hitting it. They are being shown the orchards and that’s when they feel something non-human approaching. Orc and ogres! We see how strong the duo are taking the monsters down and even to a point Taichi punching the orc in the forehead that its eyes explode!!! WTF???!!! That night, the trio discuss that orcs and ogres do not live in this area and hence there could be somebody setting this up. So the next step is to lay a trap for the perpetrator.

Episode 4
Next morning, they find a campfire. Since it is warm, this means bandits must still be in the area. The thieves are caught red-handed and because their mage bodyguard isn’t here to protect them, they are easily rounded up. One of the farmers, Cassim thanks Taichi but when they shake hands, Taichi can tell he is not a farmer. His hands are soft unlike other farmers whose rough hands show how hard it is to cultivate the fruit. Also, Cassim seems to recognize ogres and orcs, something farmers cannot identify as they live in very far north regions. So that was enough for Cassim to reveal his true nature? Yes, he is the one who hired the bandits and handed in the request to the guild. All this is to lure them out and test their powers. That mage bodyguard, Grammy is Cassim’s partner. She fights the girls while Cassim takes on Taichi. Grammy could have easily taken them out while she was hiding her presence but she wants to have fun fighting head on. Yup, muscle brained masochist. Cassim has his frost beast fight Taichi. Taichi has a hard time fighting it since physical attacks cannot connect but all its attacks can hurt you. That’s cheating! Taichi is defeated so cue for Cassim to be a villain gentleman and reveal his goal. He wants to control Taichi’s power and to make sure he is obedient, he plans to take the girls as hostage. So any disobedience means he’ll let men rape them? Why, that’s so evil. Rin and Myura look like they’ve been defeated but that was because they were testing out their skills. So when they get serious and take down Grammy, not so fun for the masochist, huh? Oh wait. She still finds it fun after losing like that. The girls can’t do anything further with Cassim showing Taichi being owned by the beast. With Taichi so worried how uncool he is being unable to protect the girls, a voice asks him if he wants power (typically). Okay. She’ll lend it to him. And so Aerial the wind spirit powers him up to a crazy killer that destroys the ice beast with his wind powers. And Taichi will not forgive that bastard Cassim for wanting to defile his harem, right? Hold it right there! I’m going to beat up your ass! Cassim so scared that he runs for his life but crazy Taichi unleashes the most devastating wind attack. Hey, I think it’s considered letting off the hook since Cassim still has his life but only lost an arm. And of course, Taichi passes out after that tremendous use of force.

Episode 5
Taichi finds himself in Lemiya’s house. Looks like he has been asleep for a week. The girls brought him here and went back to Azpire to research something. She explains about Crimson Pact, a forbidden magic that draws out one’s power dozens of times. That’s why he had a hard time fighting that beast. When Taichi mentions Aerial, Lemiya is surprised and finally realizes what Taichi is. He is a summoner. Apparently this is different than magicians and sorcerers. The difference is that summoners can hear or see spirits. Plus, it is the spirit who uses their magic on behalf of the summoner so you bet it is undiminished and in its original powerful force. Meanwhile Cassim reports back to his boss, Lodra and he is impressed. To move on to their next phase, he puts a spell on Grammy to be more obedient. Taichi sees a hot chick being hit on by a few men. He goes to help out but she is more than capable of defending herself from those creeps. She isn’t an ordinary girl and she knows Taichi. Apparently Anastasia or Ana for short is that assassin whom Taichi defeated. She has joined the guild since she knows she will be targeted. Yeah, all those dumb assassins who are after her are easily defeated. I guess it’s dead meat for them, huh? Taichi finds a note in his room. Gasp! Goblins underneath the city waiting to be unleashed?! Rin and Myura are ambushed by Grammy and her assassins. Grammy is under strict orders to kidnap Myura and has her subordinates deal with Rin. Shortly, because Grammy doesn’t like how this is done, she returns to tell Rin that Myura is being held captive in that tower. Her boss is planning to do Crimson Pact on her. And yeah, Rin just waltzes into the tower and freeze all those dumb guys. They didn’t really expect this, huh? After freeing Myura, Lodra shows up. Seems he planned all this. However he is here not to fight them but to tell them about the goblin army attacking Azpire. He wants to see how well they will defend this city of 3000 strong goblins. At the same time, Taichi and Ana investigate underground but Ana accidentally trips on a magic circle and unleashes a golem.

Episode 6
Oh well, Taichi easily destroys the golem. What awaits them next is a pair of twin trouble, Milo and Melo. They are going to set upon them goblins with Crimson Pact who will then kill everyone in Azpire. Yeah, Taichi makes it look easy slaying the Crimson Pact goblins but their numbers are too many. Somehow the twins blunder and lose control of the item controlling the goblins. Fear getting goblin raped?! Don’t worry, Taichi to the rescue! If that’s not enough, he’s got to rescue Ana too. WTF does a former assassin need rescuing?! Time to get the heck out of here! Meanwhile Rin and Myura inform Gerard of the siege on Azpire. He orders the gathering of all adventures. This is boosted with Lemiya joining in. Because the enemy will be arriving in thousands, Rin has this super magic plan to dwindle their numbers. To put it short, this mixture of fire, earth and water element is going to work something like a volcano. And so we see Rin working her magic to make this crater, fill it with water and then drop fire and burn and explode the hell out of those monsters. And then the rest of the adventurers can go slay what’s left. But it’s not over, now the Crimson Pact ones come out. Nothing that Lemiya, Rin and Myura can’t handle, right? Lodra is watching all this and is satisfied everything is living up to his expectations. Similarly, Taichi returns to Azpire. After explaining his discovery to Gerard, he is going to go out now to assist Rin. Why the f*ck does Ana sound like she wants to confess something but she’ can’t?! Do we have time for this?! Does she need some sort of assurance from Taichi?! Crimson Pact monsters gone. Now all that’s left are 3 ogre commanders. Rin fails to deal the finishing blow. You mean that is enough to demoralize her? What about all the other monsters you killed? I don’t even think there were human fatalities! So as she is about to be killed, the cliché moment of wishing Taichi will come to save the day and the regret of not saying that word to him. Well, she has a chance now because here he is!

Episode 7
See Taichi take down the ogre commanders with ease while his girls get to back him up and handle the small fries. Meanwhile we once again hear Ana’s monologue of being grateful to Taichi for treating her as a woman and not a tool. We get it, we get it… Cue for some shady hooded guy to hypnotize her and make her way out to the battlefield. With Taichi’s heroics, could the commotion of the battle awakened a twin headed dragon from his slumber underground? You bet Taichi is the only one qualified and strong enough to fight it so the rest better back off and not get in their way. We see the difference in strength as the dragon owns Taichi. Even so, he is not using his full strength and holding back. Taichi is shocked that Ana is next to him. The spell wears off and Ana is unaware how she ended up here. Puny woman tried to interrupt epic fight? Dragon not pleased. Dragon fires breath of death. Ana pushes Taichi out of the way. Gets hit. WTF. That powerful shot hit her and she didn’t disintegrate? Despite taking massive lethal damage, doesn’t she look pretty okay? Just some stomach wound only. And this cheesy death flag moment where she asks him to be her friend before she dies. Thank goodness. I can live without the potential of a cheesy harem. Now Taichi mad. Forcefully summon Aerial out. Why didn’t she lend her powers earlier? Yeah, wind spirit feeling scared while explaining to him about the law that needs to be followed. Yeah, that one time was an exception. Now I know why a trial run always feels like a scam to bait you into buying their product. So they have to form a pact, huh? Taichi realizes the need to grow stronger to protect and so he makes a pact. Now that he has become a real summoner, he asks the dragon why such a superior being is doing this. Well, he will answer if you defeat him. And so Taichi turns Super Saiyan to sweep the dragon off his feet! So easy now. The dragon is pleased as he reveals it was requested by someone to fight him. The dragon also warns that someone will also continue guiding him. This is necessary for this world, that is why the dragon agreed to lend his power as it is in line with his beliefs. Lodra reports to his superior. The experiment was a success. With Taichi forming a pact with the wind spirit, time to move on to the next phase. A bigger target. A country.

Episode 8
Azpire is getting back on his feet. Taichi visits Ana’s grave. Yeah, time to move on. Soon, Alsena Norman, the daughter of a marquis visits Lemiya as she is under orders of King Gilmar to bring them to Wennifix, the royal capital. As explained, there is a war between factions of Gilmar and his younger brother, Duke Dortesheim. While Gilmar wants to open borders and use his best mages as diplomats, Dortesheim disagrees and believes this will only weaken the country’s dominance. It is now at tipping point where war is about to break out. In Wennifix, because Taichi and co are outsiders, they are given that cold stare. Heck, somebody even tried to assassinate them?! Having an audience with Gilmar, Lemiya knows him close enough to be frank and casual. She agrees to help him stave this rebellion off but also has her conditions. Lastly, she wants to confirm if he is the one behind Taichi and Rin’s summoning. He knew the rebellion is getting out of hand and hence summoned more powerful people to help fight. Gilmar confirms this. I don’t think sorry is going to cut it for Taichi. He plucked them out of their normal high school lives just to settling this sibling conflict? Yeah, boy. Sorry. Later, Princess Charlotte (Gilmar’s daughter) talks to them. She reveals that she is the one who did the summoning. She regrets dropping them in the wilderness but only because somebody intervened with the ritual. She hopes they can help because Gilmar really wants to save his people. When a princess is crying like that, can’t hate her, right? But here’s the real kicker. Summoning magic can only be done once in a lifetime! So you mean Taichi and Rin can’t go back?! But this does not stop her from trying to find a way even if it costs her soul. Uhm. Okay. I guess everybody has their problems too. Taichi is then called to fight the supreme commander of the army, Sumella. I guess the best way to gauge one’s abilities is for a test match. Both are on par with each other with the sword. Taichi can’t summon Aerial for fear it will kill her. So once the sword breaks, it’s close quarter combat! Taichi has the edge and defeats her. And immediately Sumella wants him to be his wife?! Without shame, she is asking for 3 kids and she planning to f*ck him right in public?! I don’t know if this is how they do things around here… But lucky for Taichi, he rejects! Later Taichi talks to Aerial. He is worried with the upcoming battle because previously he was only fighting monsters. Now he has to fight ordinary human soldiers. And he doesn’t want Rin to get hurt or hurt others. Hey, this isn’t Earth but oh well… And we see Charlotte doing her prayers as Lodra wishes her well. You know how the most unexpected of things are right under your noses…

Episode 9
Nilgan and Marchese argue if they should attack Wennifix directly or assess the enemy first. Since Nilgan assures Dortesheim he has a plan, he leaves it to him to attack. Of course, Gilmar will also be preparing his army to defend and attack. Yes, Taichi and co will be in this war too. Taichi is nervous so Lemiya lectures him about being naïve. Does he really believe he can win without casualties? I know Sumella tries to take things possibility because cheering him up that their wedding will be after the war does not cut it! WHAT WEDDING?! Night before the battle, the usual Taichi and Rin talking things out. Marchese didn’t want Nilgan to steal the spotlight so he sent an assassin to kill Rin. Too bad the rest saw this coming and set a trap. Although busted, he continues to target Rin. Taichi becomes mad and beats him up! Rage mode on! Taichi says he doesn’t fear hurting others or dying but can’t protect the ones he loves. I guess Ana’s experience was more than enough, huh? The failed assassin then kills himself. Next day, before the battle begins, Taichi uses his power to create a huge chasm. Either the enemy will have to retreat or go around it that will make them like a sitting duck. However they are not fazed. Suddenly they use magic to throw all sorts of projectiles! Our heroes soon realize they are using magic rings. Yeah, even amateurs can use great magic. So why nobody has used it? Because it uses up your life force! Show’s over when you’re dead. And the enemy doesn’t even know it’s draining it. What a way to die for your country. Although Gilmar’s army is okay with this, let the enemy kill themselves, our heroes don’t? So it’s okay to die in a fight in the battlefield but not okay to let the enemy die since you know how they’ll die… WTF???!!! So how to go about this? Lemiya has an idea. Rin charges up to create a storm above the enemies. And then lightning strikes them out cold! YOU MEAN ELECTROCUTION WON’T KILL THEM???!!! With everyone out cold, Nilgan is approached by Inimicus (Dortesheim’s right hand man). Seems he planned this whole thing out and now that Nilgan’s role is over, he kills him! After collecting the unconscious bodies of the enemy, the people now can party. Oh dear… About that wedding…

Episode 10
To reward Taichi and co for their efforts, Gilmar gives them weapons from the royal collection. So basically a weapon upgrade. Guess what Taichi chooses? I guess he still remembers his Japanese roots and chooses this katana supposedly forged from an eastern land. Yeah, a Japan-like country in this world too. Immediately Sumella wants to fight him thinking he wants to test out his new weapon. But she jumps on him to get started. Is this some sort of ritual for their future wedding? In town, Taichi is famous because the people recognize him and the kids want to shake his hand. However Cassim returns and wants to fight him. He can’t refuse because he’ll poison all the wells in the capital! Is security that lax? So in some alley, Cassim wants this fight to be fair and hence uses a statue to limit Taichi’s power. Oh sure, that looks fair. If that’s the case, wouldn’t this fight be a draw? Cassim believes he has put in effort for all this and doesn’t think Taichi as the gifted one did any. So the fight begins and I think there is some slight disadvantage. You know, Cassim has only an arm? Eventually Taichi uses his quick thinking to defeat Cassim. He hates to admit it but Cassim admits it is Taichi’s victory. However nobody sees this coming as some evil spirit pops up from the statue to attack Taichi. Luckily Grammy is here to fight it. Even destroying the statue, the spirit becomes bigger and more aggressive. Luckily Taichi has regained his powers and destroys it. In the aftermath, Grammy tells Taichi how Cassim is now regretting everything because now he is forced to acknowledge that Taichi also put in effort, something he himself knows how hard it could be. But it’s not over for Taichi because civil war is looming and armies of both sides are preparing for the big clash. Taichi and Rin renew their vow to protect each other.

Episode 11
The big civil war is here. How are our heroes doing? Well, Rin fights against another Amazon warrior, Myura is up against an arrogant handsome knight and Lemiya versus a shady magician. Taichi drops right in to Dortesheim’s camp to negotiate a peace deal with him. He finds the brothers having the same goals using their own people to kill each other as foolish. He hopes Dortesheim and his side will surrender and Gilmar will grant leniency. So care to avoid further bloodshed? Meanwhile we see Lemiya creating a new move to destroy her opponent. Heck, a fiery fireball to kill him! Same for Myura, because cocky knight mocks his dead comrades, she shows no mercy and cuts his throat. Back to Taichi, Dortesheim rejects the peace offer. But he wants to know why he is Gilmar’s pawn. Why doesn’t he become king himself if he claims to be very powerful? Oh, becoming king? Taichi doesn’t want the responsibility of being a king. Then why not be a dictator? Don’t want people to hate him! With that, Dortesheim laughs and believes the outcome could have been very different had Taichi served under him. And so because of pride, Dortesheim can’t back down. This is when Inimicus initiates his plan. He has used his magic to turn dead soldiers into zombies! He admits that he serves a greater being and that he doesn’t care for the world, country, let alone the brothers’ petty quarrel. He is only doing this because she commanded him. Wow. What a way to show his obsessed devotion to his supreme one as he uses up his life and flesh to complete the spell.

Episode 12
Lemiya narrates that something similar happened in a great war 200 years ago. Soldiers went berserk and killed soldiers and civilians alike. The cause was unknown but it is believed to be mind control. So mind control isn’t considered magic but black magic? The only way is to crush the source? Okay. Whatever. Rin manages to convince the Amazon warrior to work for her and her reward is to survive this hell. That’s enough for her to make the switch! Dortesheim realizes in his bid to save his country, he destroyed it. He laments he will be remembered as a villain. You sure are. Too late now. But Taichi will not end it like this. Looks like when he is about to do some self-sacrificing move, Aerial stops him. WTF she can stop time now?! Aerial admits she has lied to him and hid her true form for fear of his tremendous power. So she reverts to her true form and her true name is Sylphid, queen of the spirits and one of the Four Grand Spirits. Aren’t they all? Gee, she just got bigger, huh? Rin coming by to see how Taichi is doing, he hugs her the moment he sees her injuries. Is he going to blame himself for taking too long to protect her? Yeah, all the zombies were kind enough to let them do this cheesy stuff. So now he’s ready to protect the things he loves, huh? Okay. Another pact to be made. This time with Sylphid. Wow. So great the pact that it undoes the spell and turns all zombies back to normal? I don’t know, did he bring back the dead too?! Apparently Inimicus is still alive as he now transforms into a monster. Good. Taichi can beat this guy up. Taichi wants to know about this master of his but the only thing Inimicus says that everything has been going according to her plan. From the day he was born to even why he was summoned here to even why this civil war is happening. In short, Taichi will become the greatest weapon for her?! That’s why he is the chosen one! But Taichi doesn’t care about the world and all that. He just cares for those around him. Beat down time. Inimicus thinks his weakness is unable to kill but Taichi begs to differ. He is different now. He is willing to go that far just to protect those he loves. And with that he finishes off Inimicus. He probably died happy thinking he has served his purpose to his master. In the aftermath of the war, life return to normal. Taichi wakes up after a few days of sleep. Magic depletion of course. Taichi and co are handsomely rewarded and promoted. More deaths because Dortesheim is executed for treason but he regrets nothing. Taichi and co return to Azpire. He still has lots of questions but I guess he needs to take things one step at a time. We’ll cross the bridge when they get there. So for now, screw whoever that puppet master is, just do what it takes to survive this world.

“Magic Is The Cheat Codes For The World”
So is Taichi still human? Because him saying goodbye to his humanity I take it he has become something close to God. Heck, aren’t all overpowered main characters like God? Yup. They’re not like human anymore. And I hope that saying goodbye to his humanity also doesn’t mean he has casted away his good side and doesn’t give a sh*t anymore. It certainly most likely not this but the chances aren’t zero. You may never know what the future holds for them. You might think that everyone is doing everything on their own free will but nobody knows any better if they are being controlled like a puppet from a certain almighty. Yeah, what kind of cheat code did she employ to have everyone’s fate dancing in the palm of her hands like that?

Although the story and overall isn’t that bad, it is still nowhere anything good. In fact it is just average and mediocre. That is coming from me who is just feeling lenient right now. Because that handphone one was definitely a disaster (heck, perhaps the worst isekai ever). Because that sage’s grandson was too cheesy and overbearing. Others feel like some pseudo harem. So I guess taken all that into consideration, this series isn’t as bad as compared to those other series. But still, like I said, nowhere near anything good and just average. Yeah, sometimes it’s dumb and lazy too. I know a dozen episodes feel like it isn’t enough to develop anything but I guess that isekai genres of this type only get this much duration to flesh things out. So from Taichi’s training to control his, uhm, overpowered-ness to getting involved in civil conflicts because some supreme being got bored and probably just wants to test out his abilities. Yup, that is basically what this entire series is about. And yeah, I’m still having trouble differentiating between the terms, magician and sorcerer. What’s with that summoner definition again?

So yeah, the characters are pretty generic and cliché too. You don’t have to tell me again that Taichi falls under that category as the overpowered main character but thankfully they didn’t make him as obnoxious as that handphone one as well as that slime monster. This somewhat lessens the ‘hate’ because although Taichi is super powerful (literally he can pull anything out from thin air), he still doesn’t know a lot of things and it feels like he is just getting by in this world. Sometimes I feel that Taichi having Aerial as his spirit (now upgraded to Sylphid), it is like those who don’t really like that smug Yuno from Black Clover, well, at least Taichi looks friendlier instead of being aloof. Also, this Aerial isn’t as annoying as Yuno’s Sylph although Aerial feels useless at times seeing she is the wind spirit but she acts like some weakling Tinkerbell to Taichi. And even when she returned to her true form, it feels like she didn’t do anything. Yeah, I think it was Taichi’s power that purified the zombies…

It feels Rin, Myura and Lemiya are like trying to make Taichi’s party a pseudo harem but I wasn’t putting my hope much on the romance section so I wasn’t really that disappointed when it didn’t really happen. Yeah, Rin as his childhood friend, all the tropes and ingredients are there for some cliché romance but with all the battles they have to fight and figuring out how to survive in this world, romance can take a backseat for this season. To soften the blow of Taichi and Rin suddenly arriving in this world, hence Myura and Lemiya become their teachers and mentors. Something inside me feels they are wasted because Myura being a very high level adventurer and Lemiya being a very high ranking magician (or was it sorcerer?), they become overshadowed thanks to Taichi and Rin being so overpowered. Sure, they are still good at what they do only because everybody else are weaklings and come nowhere close to their level.

I thought this series was heading downhill and down the road of cheesy cliché when they make Ana fall for Taichi. It was so damn obvious and cheesy to watch this girl, whatever she says or does. To a point that I was praying, please don’t make this happen. Please don’t let this be a clichéd isekai harem. Thank goodness I got my wish. But I didn’t see it coming that they killed her off!!! OMG! How dare they killed a cute anime girl?! Hey, at least I don’t have to deal with that cheesiness. I suppose like Dortesheim said, some sacrifices are necessary. Hence this is one of the darker moments in the series whereby they had a character killed just so as to spur our main character to make his stance on something. Oh Taichi, now you know why trying to get yourself killed won’t look cool at all because you can’t save anybody when you’re dead! I thought this harem cheesiness was over until Sumella come along… Please God, please no… Please don’t let history repeat itself! Oh well, she didn’t die in the battlefield…

I suppose one thing that makes this series stands out from other cliched isekai series with overpowered main characters is that they aren’t shy with the deaths of certain characters. Also, they try to break the formula of our main hero being so overly good that he can’t take a life but this series tries to do it differently and show us that Taichi is not as ‘weak’ and cliché as those main characters. Yup, he can and will take a life if he has to. After all, he already has that power to do it so if you really have a death wish, the easiest way for him to grant you that is to threaten those close to him. That’s like his trigger word and he’ll be no more Mr Nice Guy. Even with this said theme of the hero taking a slightly darker route, this feels mild as there are much darker themed series out there like Tate No Yuusha No Nariagari. So killing a few baddies isn’t going to make you badass. But that also means he is no longer squeaky clean.

Would the series be slightly better that the antagonists be a lot better? Because of the enigma surrounding that supreme being who is somewhat trying to guide the world, it does sound interesting. Why and what is she trying to achieve with all this? However with the story being focused more on Taichi’s party, this true villainess-cum-puppeteer feels like a cock teaser. So for the final arc, we are to content with the civil war between the king and his younger brother. I understand why Dortesheim won’t accept Taichi’s peace proposal. Imagine the face value he will lose if he listens to a kid! Yeah, even men have their pride. Sometimes it’s stupid but yeah, they call it pride. Even baddies like Cassim and Grammy had their redemption match so they’re not that all bad, right? I mean, they’re just pawns for another pawn for the supreme being, right? And what happened to those loli twins? Haven’t heard from the bratty duo ever since they got rescued. Phew. Don’t want them to be another ingredient to turn this into a pseudo harem isekai genre!

Speaking of that mysterious supreme being lady who has been pulling all the strings and watching Taichi’s every move, it was certainly an enigma at first. But when it is said that she wanted to nurture Taichi into the ultimate sword and shield, it got me thinking, for what purpose? Are there other threats to this world? Aliens? Monsters? I mean, are there other worlds and other gods like her? Some god challenged her to some war game so she has to make preparations to defend and counterattack? Oh wait. Don’t tell me. Other kids from Earth too are summoned to other worlds and being nurtured as overpowered main characters. The clash of overpowered main characters of the isekai genre! The ultimate isekai crossover?! If that ever happens, Taichi and Rin will soon be shocked to find that their opponent could be a classmate from their school on Earth!!!!!! Oh man. I’m laughing so hard now because I can write crappy isekai stories like this too!!! So whatever that mysterious lady is (did I hear Inimicus addressed her as Shade?), I think it’s best for Taichi not to think too far and just concentrate with what is at hand. After all, Taichi did say he doesn’t care about the bigger things.

Action scenes are mediocre at best. There might be some blood spilled during the battles but they aren’t anything that would make you cower in fear or go into trauma. Yeah, blame the mediocre animation somewhat. Taichi and Rin despite possessing tremendous powers, they don’t really go all out unless being pushed to a corner. So I suppose that in a way it is somewhat ‘palatable’ because when overpowered characters could come up with just about anything to solve a crisis, they make it look too easy. We can blame that Taichi and Rin might not know the extent of their powers and abilities yet and hence can’t fully draw them out properly, but from this point of view they don’t look as overpowered as we would like to think they are. Yes, they still are only because everybody else are weaklings. Ah, I’m repeating myself…

Art and animation also feel mediocre and like I’ve said, the battle scenes look one kind rather than exciting. Just look at the time when the adventurers were fighting the waves of monsters outside Azpire. It looked… Lame! It’s not really convincing either that they’re striking with their sword or casting their magic spells. Even the character designs look pretty generic. Taichi your generic high school boy. Rin… Heck is she the grown up version of Little Busters’ Rin?! Suspicious… Myura… Now where have I seen blonde elves before? Oh right! The ones in Isekai Maou To Shoukan Shoujo No Dorei Majutsu, DanMachi, DanMachi, Isekai Shokudou, Gate and Zero No Tsukaima. Lemiya is so for fanservice because when you’re such a powerful mage, you can walk around in revealing outfits. So confident no magic won’t lay a scratch on your smooth skin, huh? Other characters feel like they’re designed after some stereotype like Gilmar looks like the good king while Dortesheim looks like the baddie and Inimicus looks like a pervert because his pervy moustache gives him that rape face look! Honest! I’m sure I’ve seen the rest of the character designs somewhere too but I’m too lazy to think right now… And the monsters are like rejected D&D designs or something… This anime is done by Encourage Films who did Etotama, Hitorijime My Hero and Love Kome: We Love Rice.

Voice acting feels pretty average too and the only ones I recognized are Sayaka Ohara as Lemiya, Hiro Shimono as Cassim and Youko Hikasa as Grammy. I thought Sumella sounded familiar. Only later I discovered it is Marina Inoue behind her. Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from her. The rest of the other casts are Kouhei Amasaki as Taichi (Haruo in High Score Girl), Rie Takahashi as Rin (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu), Minami Tanaka as Myura (Mary in Kakegurui), Yurika Kubo as Aerial/Sylphid (Hanayo in Love Live), Hiroshi Yanaka as Gilmar (Ishida in Kaiji), Jiro Saito as Dortesheim, Daisuke Hirakawa as Lodra (Makoto in School Days), Satoshi Hino as Inimicus (Gauche in Black Clover), Rie Suegara as Charlotte (Emily in Harukana Receive) and Ayumi Mano as Ana (Natsumi in Date A Live III).

If the rock paced opener, Panta Rhei sounds familiar, that’s because it is sung by MYTH&ROID who are famous for their songs in Overlord and Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu. Their trademark style is still there but I can’t help feel that some parts of the vocals used too much effects like as though they are on Auto-tune. Sure, MYTH&ROID songs do have effects but I don’t believe it is that much. For the ending theme, it is Chiisana Omoi by Rie Takahashi, a slow moderate anime ballad.

Overall, this is yet another copy and paste isekai and it really looks like no signs of slowing down. Generic, cliché, uninspiring as well as boring and predictable story and characters help contribute to this series’ downfall. Had this series took better time to tell its stories and weave its characters and perhaps had it come out in a time where isekai series were not so abundant as the stars in the sky, this could have been slightly better. Just slightly. I doubt that this will get another season like many of its counterparts that never see the light of a sequel. Good. Because I believe that no matter what kind of cheat codes are given as input, it still can’t fix how bad an anime is. If it’s bad, it’s bad. If it’s good, it’s good. That’s not cheating whatsoever. It’s just common sense.

Mini Yuri & YuruYuri Ten

December 7, 2019

Celebrate good times, come on! Yahoo! Wow. Does time really fly? Because it has been 10 years since YuruYuri started and hence the perfect time to celebrate it by coming up with an OVA. But before the fundraising kickstarter project OVA comes out, we are treated with 4 ONA episodes of Mini Yuri. Lolis who are already cute are further made cute in their chibi form? Uhm, okay. With only approximately 5 minutes of running time, these serve as just appetizers before you go on to the big and delicious main course. Let the celebrations begin!

Episode 1
To raise hype for the 10th anniversary OVA, hence we kick things off by explaining the characters of this series. Like Kyouko who is a pretty normal girl, Akari the masked hero of justice, Chinatsu who is a witch girl and is very much in love with Kyouko, and Yui who, uhm, manly face?! Then we have the student council girls like the Ayano who has the second worst grades in school, Chitose who is a bully whom Ayano is a lackey of, Himawari a talkative idiot and Sakurako… Boobs monster? Not forgetting Matsumoto who speaks loudly at the top of her voice! And of course if you have watched YuruYuri like yours truly, you’ll know that all of these are crap! Lies! NOTHING BUT LIES!!! Is this their way of making those who don’t know to go read the manga and watch the anime?! Effective strategy… I’d say, if you buy into this crap, you’re going to be in for some ‘shocking developments’…

Episode 2
You know the popular streaming video site that is all the rage now? No, not YouTube. YuriTube!!! Kyouko suggests uploading videos to show what the club is all about. They start off with a cute introduction video. It got (shockingly) lots of views so you bet they’re going to make more. We see a video of Kyouko trying to promote Mirakurun products with Chinatsu cospalying at the model. Wow. More views. Next is Akari just drinking tea. F*ck! The views drastically went down!!! Finally, Kyouko and Yui doing some incarnation method whereby their seiyuus appear live in 3D form, doing some random stuffs. Weirdly cute… So much so their video went viral and is raking up the view count! Heh, but not enough to break the view counter ;p. With Kyouko tasting ‘victory’, she gets crazier to upload more videos every day but is put to a stop by Yui as she reminds her they have classes. But that didn’t stop her as she makes a quick video of the upcoming OVA. Looks gloomy… With Yui rejecting all that, I guess their internet activities are done!

Episode 3
Well, you know how Tokyo is going to host the 2020 summer Olympics, right? Hence Kyouko wants them to do their own Yurilympics! She ropes in the student council members for the numbers. Of course the sports will have some bizarre twist like triathlon includes running up the mountain and running with a tea cup without spilling. Then there are a few jenga tournaments, each edition the jenga blocks get bigger. A horse riding event, eh? Why the heck is Ayano the horse for Kyouko?! Because of her ponytail?! This has Chitose and Chizuru end up with some serious delusions of theirs. For ball sports like ping pong, baseball and football, all the balls somehow get absorbed into Chinatsu’s hair! How???!!! At the end of the day, everybody just tires themselves out. So are we ready for the real Olympics?!

Episode 4
OMG! They killed off the main character! Akari is dead! Cue for Kyouko to play detective. She has everyone confess their alibis. Realizing that Yui isn’t around, looks like it is double horror because she too is dead! Sakurako got so scared that she fled. Will she be the next victim? Finding a mallet near Yui and a bump on her head, could this be the murder weapon? Luckily Yui wakes up. No, not a zombie, mind you. She was just unconscious. She reveals she brought the mallet just to fix the table leg. In actuality, she was reading a magazine and saw an article of her favourite game getting a remake. She was so happy and skipped around but stubbed her toe and bumped her head. As for Akari, Kyouko smells a familiar scent and realizes herself as the culprit. You see, Kyouko went to ask Nishigaki to create a potion that would make Akari stand out more. However it was too concentrated and she got too much stimulus from using it. By the time she enters the clubroom to show everyone, she ran out of steam. It seems Nishigaki has completed the perfected potion. But too late! As Akari wakes up, she sees everybody else shining brightly like a main character material! Yeah, they all accidentally used the potion and it’s no use if everybody now overshadows Akari, right? Speaking of which, isn’t Akari technically still the same as before for not standing out?

YuruYuri Ten

The OVA is written as “YuruYuri,” a play on words as the dot is pronounced as ‘ten’ as in to coincide with the tenth anniversary of the series. Also, I want to think that it is short for TEN-sion. Yup, get up and feel the hype! Tension agate desu yo!!!

To celebrate the series’ 10th anniversary, Kyouko has bought Akari a dress. It’s so bright that she’s literally in the spotlight! But now we go back in time. Ages, that is. Because our YuruYuri girls are cavemen! Or is it cavewomen? I guess Japanese wasn’t invented yet so no need to rack your brains and think what they’re saying. All just grunts and groans. We see them fooling around as usual. Like Kyouko getting a fish bone stuck in her throat so Chinatsu just lunges her hand down her throat to roughly take it out. Yui takes off crumbs from Akari’s face and when Kyouko wants the same and is given the same treatment, Chinatsu burns with anger. Then all this turns out that they are just acting as cavewomen. So why this pathetic cavewomen act? Is this their idea of celebrating the 10th anniversary? Of course Ayano and Chitose suggest they should just throw a normal party. First, Chinatsu has Himawari teach her how to bake cookies. Something tells me Chinatsu is not destined to bake or cook. The moment she touches the dough, it turns into something horrifying! Yeah, even Himawari is so baffled. When it’s done, she lets Sakurako tastes it. You sure you want to try that? It‘s still moving! Biting it… WTF, it’s like kissing Yui?! Hey, at least she’s not dead. The other girls help to decorate the place for tomorrow. As the party begins, Kyouko liven things up by having everyone wear different wigs. Note, this is how you create new characters! Then Sakurako introduces a card game whereby you have to act out the job description in the card. Chitose is hoping Kyouko would be a doctor so that she could ‘examine’ Ayano in her twisted vision but unfortunately Kyouko became a YuriTube star instead. What a waste.

Finally, Kyouko has everyone play rock-scissors-paper but with a twist. The loser must act very hype. It seems Akari always loses and is forced to act in a very hyped manner. It started out as cringe but to more she loses, the more hype she gets, the scarier it becomes. Uhm, I think at this rate she’s going to be some maniacal serial killer… Worst case scenario happens because she has been acting so hyped nonstop that she dies!!! OMFG!!! For real?! The main character just died?! Is this heaven?! Akari is sad but don’t worry, here are visions of her friends. Uhm, I hope they’re not dead too. Anyway, it’s that cue for them to be thankful and grateful to Akari for all the things they’ve done together. We’ll always be there for you. We’ll always be friends. You know the drill. And then Akari wakes up. All just a dream? What’s this? The rest come in to wish her happy birthday? Yup, it’s her birthday party. And she’s the star for today! We love you Akari! Akari got so emotional that it’s time for a big loli group hug! Awww!!! After the party, Akari can’t help wonder where they got all those photos of her. Kyouko hints that somebody volunteered after they explained the situation. Of course the culprit is no other than her very doting older sister, Akane. If Akari’s happy, you bet this overly affectionate onee-san will be doubly happy.

A Perfect Ten!
Oh yeah. YuruYuri has been YuruYuri like we have known them since their inception. For me, since the first season when I began watching them. Their antics and shenanigans are more or less as expected. Of course this means there isn’t anything new and ground breaking but as said, this is a celebration of their 10th anniversary. What else were you going to expect from this series? Something even flashier? More 3D and CGI effects?! Sometimes it is best to stick to the formula and not stray because like they say, don’t fix it when it ain’t broken. Also without a doubt, the status quo formula is to pay tribute to fans who have contributed to make this OVA a success. Yup, at the end credits, you can see scores of names who have contributed to different segments of the project. Yeah. A hell lot of them! This shows that this series is indeed popular with so many contributors making this possible. Better make something out from all the money you’ve got. Don’t worry, I’m not one of them ;p.

So the only thing that ‘bugged’ me is that since this series has been going on for 10 years, I have noticed that our characters have not even aged a single minute! Haha! Even when Akari said that she hopes they’ll be together for 20 or 30 years and more, I just can’t help think if they’ll still remain to be in that same age forever. Remember, the charm of this series is that the characters are of the loli trope so it won’t do lolicons any good if they’re all grown up. Uh huh. This is the loophole that enables lolicons to enjoy their (2D) lolis without being arrested while consuming the hobby they love. I don’t know if there will be projects or seasons in the foreseeable future but as long as the Amusement Club remains true to itself, we’ll stick with you 20 or 30 years and beyond! That will be one hell of a high tension amusement if we’re still around by then! Hopefully Akari would become the main character by then.

6 Angels

December 6, 2019

You know me how I ‘sympathize’ with old retro anime series, right? Because with so many disappointing and mediocre animes in today’s time, the only reprieve is to go back and watch some old animes of the 90’s, right? Even if they suck, they don’t suck that bad because they’re retro animes, right? Well… Until I started watching 6 Angels, that is. Yup. This anime I stumbled upon by chance that came out in late 2001 was bad enough. Originally labelled as a movie, it was broken up into 6 ONA episodes. Yes, even during a time when the internet wasn’t mainstream yet, this was released over the internet as separate episodes. So what’s this anime about? A group of all-female mercenaries. Big bad guy and his ‘family’ hijacked a prison facility. Nuclear warheads. Yeah, you know the story that comes next. Hey, this is the late 90’s and early 2000’s! But still, it’s that bad…

Episode 1
As narrated, the world is still at war, the world is still polluted, blah, blah, blah. No clear line between good and evil? Sure. Whatever. We now jump right into the action scene as we see our Rose Guard patrol women, Maki Aoba, Naomi Jones, Doris Nicholas and Marilyn Moreau being under heavy attack by US missiles. It’s amazing they managed to dodge and survive them all despite crash landing. It’s a miracle, right? Don’t count your chickens too fast because the structure gives way and it’s free fall! Flashback several hours ago, an underground prison known as Neo Purgatory has been hijacked by the Canyon family. Of course the US President has been informed about this and you bet he sent his army to go deal with this situation. Meanwhile our Rose Guards are just waking up to just another morning and heading out for another patrol. Yeah, talking about Christmas, aren’t we? Suddenly they realize something wrong with the transmission. Everything is blocked. Worse, they found a stowaway kid, Katherine Hook who has been sleeping here since last night. You mean they didn’t check? Not even their helicopter robo guard, Giga detected somebody sneaking in?! This is when all hell breaks loose as missiles are locked on them. Back to current time, the helicopter free falls but they must thank Giga for this awesome break falling manoeuvre to cushion their very rough landing.

Episode 2
Flashback shows Katherine’s father was a drunkard and often abused her. The ladies realize they are all safe. There are also a few US marine survivors from this helter-skelter. Meanwhile Ed Canyon is summoned by the big boss, Donn Canyon (Guile, monster version?). He reports that all enemies have been shot down but Donn notices that one of the choppers shot down belongs to Rose Guard and wants them to be taken in. He will use them as their declaration of war. Maki finds what remains of Giga and hopes her mini robo, Link could fix it back to normal. You mean like how it was, functioning and looks? I say that’s impossible… Rose Guard hears about Corporal’s orders to suppress New Purgatory as they are trying to use nuclear weapons. The marines will head in to destroy the core and want the ladies to take cover. But then we see the marines being slaughtered by the mutants of the Canyon family. So much about the males being the heroes. That is when Rose Guard transforms to take on the baddies. It is narrated that Rose Guard is formed to tackle male violence, the reason they are all females. I’m sure bad guys don’t stick to chivalry but whatever. Then Terry Canyon starts using his mecha to blast away the copter while blasting his heavy metal music. Not sure why Rose Guard had to return inside it. It’s not like they could protect it from being destroyed, right? I don’t get it, where this explosion comes from but boom! Meanwhile at the White House, the president is having a meeting from his team. From what I understand, he is trying to withhold actual info from being leaked out. Then the Soviet president calls. Not sure what he wants too. Meeting adjourned. Clock feels the president is not saying something and of course he isn’t. He is told not to aggravate the situation. So Clock has to bite the bullet and pray for the best for his Rose Guard.

Episode 3
Don’t really know what is going on. Rose Guard finds themselves in prison. The moment Maki wakes up and sees JC Canyon and Mike Canyon, she attacks them on impulse. Like WTF?! Be careful, almost dropped from this 100 storey prison! JC and Mike somewhat saved them and are quite the perverts. They want to see their boobs because they think it will explode! WTF?! Who told them that?! I understand Maki gets upset but stripping her top and then lecture them about being perverts isn’t going to help. Oh wait. The boys just got knocked out. Not sure if it’s because they saw her explosive boobs or her lecture. Whatever. So funny that Katherine can’t help laugh. Silly boys. Meanwhile Ed calls Terry and he knows he has a woman hidden and orders him to bring her here. Maki realizes that Marilyn is not with them so Mike tells them she is being held by Terry. Speaking of which, Marilyn is being tortured. Is it me or does Marilyn’s body look like a man’s? When JC detects a camera from Terry and wants to hide, Maki has an idea. When the goons arrive, they see JC and Mike being tied up. They claim they’ve been tricked. Sam Canyon then brings them back to Terry’s base. Oddly despite deactivating security, the system still detects intruders. The guys are then brought into the room where Marilyn is and beaten up. But surprise! You mean Rose Guard remained invisible the whole while?! Wow this got to be level 100 stealth! After rescuing Marilyn, Maki gets clobbered from the back by Sam. However it is Katherine who pumps all the lead and empties her gun into Sam. Probably Sam reminded her of her abusive father and that’s the same solution she gave him. Damn, this girl is most brutal! Then everyone escapes and Terry is like so enraged that he just fires pot shots everywhere and screams. WTF?! Yeah, everybody is mad a Canyon family member is dead.

Episode 4
Looks like America is not going to bow to the demands of New Purgatory and hence the president authorizes the use of nuclear missiles based in outer space that will destroy the entire place. Yeah. That’s so American. Rose Guard is making their escape. Katherine using her feminine wiles to call the guys as bullies and weak despite they calling her strong when they don’t take the front and instead walk behind her. Terry and his goons attack. But too much force that Rose Guard falls deeper into the sewer. Ed is mad but Terry will do something to make it up for it. However Akira Canyon will help big brother out. Looks like he has hacked into the American nuclear missiles’ system. This is the true plan of Donn. Rose Guard is well alive after falling from that height. Link reports that Giga is almost complete but Naomi wants the guys to identify a certain head of US Air Force, Arondeck. They recognize him as the person who always bring them weapons. Speaking of which, he and the US president is meeting with the Soviet counterparts. It seems the Soviet side has launched their own rebellion to attack New Purgatory but is met with strong resistance. With communications back, Rose Guard is able to get in contact with Clock. He informs them that Donn is planning to use nuclear weapons he made on other nations and hopes they could do something about it. But JC and Mike laugh it off and claim there is no such thing. Despite here is a nuclear waste, they won’t explode. This is their retaliation. Clock arrives in time to arrest Arondeck for treason. Akira has hijacked communications of the world so that Donn can speak. He declares war on all humans. Yeah, we know the story of the planet being contaminated by radiation and thus a dying planet. Some history about some nuclear testing in Utah where Neo Purgatory is. Lots of radiation and deaths. People didn’t learn. History repeated. With the radiation becoming worse, not sure about some being will be born out of it. Hence Donn has found a way to purify the planet but blames the authorities for betraying him. So he’s going to destroy the world, huh? But he is giving them 24 hours to change their mind. They could use his weapons and perish with him. Otherwise follow him or die. I’m confused. He’s going to save the world or destroy it? I’m betting on the latter…

Episode 5
Looks like the Pacific nations are being nuked. Oh well, American president is in despair they fell right into Donn’s hands. JC and Mike explain that Donn’s plan will annihilate the surface and those underground will only be safe and hence a new free nation will be born. You mean Rose Guard is contemplating to fight or give up? GIVE UP?! Heck, Katherine even says it’s better to let everyone else die and just for them to stay safe here. Damn, this kid is really brutal. This gives Maki the motivation that they’re going to fight back. So the grand plan is to destroy their launch programme? When Katherine collapses, Link traces some capsule containing radiation to be the culprit. Donn wants Akira to tell Mom that he hasn’t got what he promised. He also wants Ed to tell Terry he doesn’t need Rose Guard anymore and to do away with them. But something doesn’t sit right with Ed. JC and Mike believe Mom can help heal Katherine. Arriving at the reactor, damn Mom is some monster angel?! Despite her hideous looks, she is the kind mother she is. A kiss on the mouth is what it takes to save Katherine. Just in time, Donn pops up to reveal his nefarious plans. Look at the water around. It’s not just ordinary water but the blood of thousands of prisoners that will become some medium to purify Earth. Gee, thousands is enough and not millions? Do Donn wants them to become purified into that medium that will serve to save Earth. Donn leaves and lets his goons handle it. But Terry realizes the robots are not responding. That’s because Link has hacked them! Oh, Link returned and combined with Giga’s body? Odd. Damn, he uses Kamehameha to blasé them away!!! If he runs out of juice, there’s the Soviet mechas to help. Once done, Link also reveals he managed to hack into the launch programme. So he just bought 20 minutes of time?! For some odd reason, cue for Katherine to whine about how this is all her own fault. Feeling useless. Feeling lonely. Cry. Cue for Soviet counterparts to tell her that is just life. Heck, these soldiers are born without limbs and instead of being pathetic, they thought how to live. Once that is done with, it’s time for the final operation. Maki and Mom are going to team up? Wow. Mom spreading her angel wings that even JC and Mike have them?!

Episode 6
Maki and Doris will head into the command centre while the rest retreat. Marilyn and Naomi find a helicopter they can conveniently use and needs minimum fixing. Convenient… Akira is getting so frustrated that the nuclear command doesn’t respond that he shoots one of his comrades! WTF?! Even more WTF because Ed then shoots Akira and the rest in the command centre! Donn is puzzled there is something wrong with the nuclear system but Ed says he is coming to go see him. Whatever Ed’s grouses are, he doesn’t agree with Donn’s plan and shoots at his forehead! But you know… Donn’s a monster so he leaves. Guess what happens to Ed? Maki and Doris enter the command centre, shocked to see dead bodies of the Canyon family. Wow. They easily hack the system and shockingly because they can’t stop the nuclear launch, the change its destination. TO THE MOON?! Why the f*ck not somewhere further like Pluto?! Or Andromeda???!!! Yeah, the missiles head towards the moon and explode but the moon still looks fine… Then Donn finds them and takes them hostage. Looks like he intends to drop this facility filled with nuclear waste onto the world. So that’s enough to destroy the world? Maybe. Hence New Purgatory now turns into some rocket and flies up into space. Then the US president contacts Donn. Damn, even admits his mistakes and hopes he can surrender. Donn of course tells him to go f*ck off. US President must be sweating asking why he is doing this. Interestingly, Donn tells him to look into his own soul.

Maki and Doris find themselves before Donn. Yeah, they are so dumbfounded with this scene just like us. Mom along with Mike and JC crucified?! Donn having angel wings now?! Conveniently, Marilyn pilots the helicopter and latches onto the floating facility. In the nick of time, Link and co busts in to pump all they’ve got towards Donn. Still alive? You bet. Now he has turned into his final form?! A human torch!? With wings???!!! I’m losing it! And then Mom just says it’s time to stop. When Donn won’t stop? She compresses him into a little ball?! WTF?! So easy?! Should have did this from the start!!! Of course she explains from her side of the story that Donn isn’t entirely bad. He first chanced upon her in this reactor and she wanted his help to stop the destruction. And although it might seemed Donn agreed because he get to kill others for the plan, he was also willing to use his own life to do so. Maki has something to say but I guess it’s time to go. After Rose Guard leaves the facility, Mom activates something and, uhm, explodes? Maki then has Link connect to the rest of the world as she explains what happened. The crisis has been averted and the facility has been transported to another world. So that’s what happened???!!! Then she also gives a speech that sounds more like virtue signalling. Uh huh. Let’s overcome this together. Don’t be mad and if you feel mad, just think for a second. Honest!!! That’s what she bloody says!!! And Maki dared say Rose Guard was formed to protect women but don’t know how to eradicated violence in people?! I give up… You think the world was ready to listen to a monster, you think they’re going to listen to some hot chick? In the aftermath, we see Rose Guard doing their usual. The mind boggling part is that JC comes to visit Doris in the bath?! Like how the f*ck did he get back?! And because he is not a ghost, good news for Doris because she gets to beat him up! Oh yeah, Rose Guard’s reputation must be so elevated now that they join the US president and his White House team in the next operation briefing.

Angel Has Fallen…
Well… That was… REALLY BAD!!! I mean, totally absolutely utterly zettai ni crap fest and garbage! Honestly, I have to admit that before I started watching this show, I was already looking around the internet and found the far few and between reviews of this show. None of them had anything good to say! And of course being the curious cat, that was a factor that made me determined to watch this and decide how bad it is. Instead of listening to all those ‘warning’ reviews to stay away, I guess it enhanced my curiosity further. And now you know why it kills the cat, huh? Though, I won’t say I regret watching it because otherwise I wouldn’t really know how trashy this show would be.

Seriously, I don’t know what the producers were thinking when they were making this mini movie. Sometimes it felt like they were making up and coming up with things along the way as the progress. And in the end, you have got one big hell of a mess that doesn’t make sense at all. Honestly, this series does have its potential. Eco terrorists having their decent arguments on ‘saving the world’ or even destroying it. Unfortunately it was so poorly written that I understood close to nothing and in the end it didn’t matter. Because since our heroines won and the bad guys gone, I guess that is it. Happy ending. The end. The world gets to live happily ever after. Oh wait. Make that slowly being poisoned from the ever creeping radiation from the nuclear weapons and wars they continue to make. I guess Mom made the wise decision to move all her family to wherever the next world is. I hope it isn’t heaven. Because heaven will now have a facility carrying nuclear wastes and evil prisoner men who might rape your angels!!! Yikes, Mom! Did you not think this through?! Oh, don’t worry, any naughty children she can just squish into this mini ball size matter. F*ck that end of how the big bad boss dies or get defeated was just hilarious and so disappointing.

Many of the scenes are not clearly explained and it leaves you mind confused. For example that medium that Donn claims is supposed to be used to help purify the world. Like, huh?! What?! I bet the producers came up with that idea and hoped to use it somehow in the movie. Unfortunately nothing ever materialized and that half-baked idea just got slotted into that scene just in case. Yeah, it didn’t matter anyway. And why did JC return? Is he in love with Doris? Not sure. I would love to believe that but I am more inclined they want to make us even more confused. And the last scene that Rose Guard joins the US president and White House… I mean a group of mercenaries in the same room with the people holding the highest posts in America! Oh, thinking about it, it’s not surprising because politicians are a bunch of sneaky crooks themselves… Haha! Nothing to see here anymore. Just move along…

I’m sure they want to highlight some environmental issues and feminine issues as well but I guess they also fail to tell their message. Thankfully this movie came out at the turn of the millennium so obviously the outrage wasn’t there yet (also thanks to this being an obscure movie). Had it come out today, I’m sure there will be lots of anger and criticism from people who don’t even matter. So yeah, the world didn’t end. Even more polluted than before. But we’re still here surviving. I’m sure we’ll figure things out as we advance in technology. I hope. And feminism, Rose Guard might be one of those early all-females group only but as the years pass, there are even more all-female groups in so many other anime series. So yeah. Feminism still alive and doing well. And if you’re wondering why this show is weirdly named 6 Angels, I guess they refer to all the female characters in this series. You know, Rose Guard, the stowaway kid and Mom? Conveniently, right? Too bad nobody cares about that female reporter reporting from the news helicopter. I believe she got blown out of the sky when New Purgatory took to the skies. Ironically, I thought Rose Guard and Katherine would get wings just so that we can have that cue to roll credits but instead, Mom’s sons got them instead… Sheesh…

Compounding the misery and making everything much worse are the characters themselves. Especially Rose Guard who is supposed to be the protagonists of this anime, they have no personality and fall flat. In short, really disappointing. They don’t really have a back story and even if they had one, it is just a very brief one. Not that it makes us want to care. I think they want to be edgy having all women in the lead but they fail to make us want to care for them in anyway because who cares if Maki’s grandma is the one who created this power suit that they are using now. Who cares about Doris being a weapon’s expert because I sure hell didn’t see how she uses a variety of them. And what the heck is Naomi and the kids? Who the f*ck are the kids she keeps mentioning she wants to see? Marilyn… I don’t even know anything about her. Katherine might sound brutal and might come as closest to something we hope to have in a character. Her abusive father and a bitter growing up environment that has her being bitter about life. She may be a brat and an annoying (but lucky) stowaway following Rose Guard around but unfortunately towards the end, her ‘meltdown’ tamed her a lot like as though she realizes it’s time to be a good girl and shut up. Damn, I was even rooting for her to have a go at Donn. Was it that radiation thingy that made her say some crazy stuffs? If Link wasn’t enough being a tiny mecha mascot, then combining with Giga to turn him into one looks… Weird.

And then there is the rest of the Canyon family… As I’ve said, they look like they have the potential of becoming a fearful terrorist group but unfortunately I ultimately don’t really know what they want. The ragtag of the family look like they are being inspired from Mad Max and could have been much more interesting if they had been given much more screen time instead of their forced appearance so as just to tell us they are the bad guys. So are JC and Mike the good guys of the big bad family? Are they considered the black sheep of the family? I feel their characters are only to serve as inept bungling spies for Rose Guard and to show female power because these guys are just useless and nothing but (mild) perverts. What happened to Ed? We didn’t see him die but I guess that is what happens to one when he opposes the big boss. Terry? So that liquid medium he fell in is fatal, huh? I guess we can write him off. Worse, I don’t even know what Mom is doing and I am largely thinking that because she is a retard who knows nothing about human justice and sin, that is why she is late to act. I wonder if her power is also limited because she could have just whisked the entire world to another dimension. But then again, humans won’t learn and continue to pollute the new world. So yeah, on the other hand if Rose Guard couldn’t save the day, I was also foreseeing a tragic ending in which the Canyon family destroys the world and in some world purifies it.

One of the more frustrating things while watching this video is the bad spelling and translation. Yeah, I guess that’s why a lot of things we don’t understand it is because it got lost in translation. This is such an old movie and my bet is that there are no good subs and the one who probably did it had just half-baked English and non-native English speaker (who the f*ck is Tone Kane?! Oh, you mean Donn Canyon…). A few lines are omitted or badly translated. I know. My Japanese isn’t that good even after all these years but thanks to the dialogue not one of this show’s strong points, some of the simple lines I can actually catch and yet the translation got it way wrong. But worse still, the original production itself is flawed and filled with bad spelling itself. Could you imagine that I was wondering what the heck is Neo Pagatori?! You mean, New Purgatory?! And this one I remember clearly. That big word ‘DECASED’ on the screen. Like, huh? What the heck does that mean? Oh… You mean DECEASED!!! WTF???!!! Spelling purists might get mad at how many of these simple mistakes permeate this show but I guess if you’re like me a simpleton, first you get flabbergasted and then you laugh at all the silliness.

Action wise, they’re terrible to boot too. You’d think I would forgive this because it is retro anime and that was the standard then. However it is so bad that I just couldn’t find my inner Buddha and Jesus to do any forgiving. Even if God forgives this pile of garbage, I won’t. Hence the action sequences feel forced because it needs to have one just because this movie is so. I mean when you have a dystopian future dealing with hardened criminals, you’re going to expect some sort of gun fights, right? See, this is why the mind boggling setting that capital punishment has been abolished, criminals now get to live and run rampant. You see what you stupid leaders are making the future of the world of?! Is this what you call human rights?! I’m sure the criminals won’t give a f*ck about chivalry either. And yeah, amidst the lousy action scenes, some explosions! Gotta have some explosions! Boom! I was also hoping to see Rose Guard fighting and taking down the Canyon family one by one but I guess they owned themselves. After they got Sam, it’s like that’s the last of the family they’ll ever fight with. Stupid goon clones don’t count and aren’t exciting… So basically an internal family feud was the main reason a big number of the Canyon family got annihilated. And then mommy finally owning daddy… Is that a reflection of how most household operates?! And I thought the Canyon family is supposed to be powerful or at least have some sort of weird powers due to the radiation contamination. Nope. Didn’t see any effect.

Now we move on to the art and animation. Yup, horrendous. Should have been better and this time I can’t use ‘because it is a retro anime’ to justify why it’s just bad. The series is set in the future but it looks so futuristic that it’s so dated. CGI is also used but they are so stiff and rigid that it’s painful to watch. I know technology isn’t that advanced then but I believe they could do better than this. This makes me wonder if the producer making this is really on a tight budget. Limited funds and resources were given and he needed to make something out of it. And something was made and this was what we got. Hey, at least it was something. I think they want to show a few fanservice moments (isn’t it why Rose Guard is all female?) and Maki looks the hottest because she’s the only one who bared her bare tits and in her lingerie. Good thing those boobs didn’t explode, huh? Sorry guys, didn’t’ get any boner watching that very short scene of sexy Maki. And the rest of the sexy level of the rest aren’t just there. Marilyn has a body of a man. Doris is just meh. Katherine is a kid (are there any lolicons out there?) and Naomi is a, uhm, black?! Oh sh*t! Racist!

The character designs too are fail. Especially the Canyon family who could have been inspired by everything from here there and everywhere. Like Donn himself like I’ve said looks like a monster version of Guile and this could be his Darkstalkers version. For some reason we have Ed as your typical evil salaryman. Dressed so sharp but for what occasion, huh? Then you have got a bunch of heavy metal Metallica bros in Terry and Sam. Could have been crazier but whatever. Then Akira looks like some hacker brat kid but I think his other family member in the command centre looks even worse, a mad scientist, I suppose. Hmm… A mad scientist doing computer hacking… JC and Mike are the ‘good guys’ thanks to their good looks and don’t judge a book by its cover because Mom might look hideous but that’s not enough to give me nightmares. If I don’t stare at her long enough… And those other non-important Canyon family goon clones… I thought they are a discount version of Power Stone’s Jack. Yeah, what a lazy way to draw all those mindless low level zombie guards by covering their entire head with bandages. Yes, it is to hide their hideous mutated face but I believe those who did not read the synopsis or reviews will be baffled to see why they look like monsters. Radiation contamination turned them into such, that is. On a side note, I wonder why Marilyn’s hair tone colour reminds me of Yugioh’s Yugi…

Overall, it has been said to death that this show is really bad. Super bad. I am its latest ‘victim’ to have watched and add to the statistics at how appalling the quality of the story, characters, action, animation and just about everything else. Especially that line of women’s boobs explode! What the f*ck were they thinking?! Is that bad quote how they want us to remember this forgettable series?! The only good news is that so far nobody has pinpoint this movie to be remade! Oh the horror! Not surprising in today’s era of remakes, reboots, retellings, etc. But I have hope that it would be better had it been given better development. Then again, better not. Some things are better left buried and most probably we can thank all the contaminated radiation and nuclear waste surrounding this movie that makes it hard for others to approach it in any way. Come back in millions of years when it is finally purified. Oh, just f*ck it all! Just nuke this movie and let it be forgotten forever! I guess it is somewhat true that when Rose Guard can’t even figure out how to stop violence, we still can’t figure out how to stop making bad animes! And so with violence and pollution continuing, sad to say so will bad animes… :’(.

“Either you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”. Yeah. That sure was the most striking and famous Batman quote ever. Because that what it feels like in Katsute Kami Datta Kemono-tachi E. A group of genetically modified soldiers who were on the verge of bringing victory to their nation now find themselves becoming useless and no longer appreciated when peace suddenly drops in. With no place to go and nobody to accept them for the monsters they have become, some have become lost souls bringing a new reign of terror. Hence the only one capable of bringing them down is their former captain who made an oath with them all that he will take them down if this worst case scenario happened. Like fighting fire with fire, it takes a monster to take down a monster?

Episode 1
Yeah. There’s some civil war going on in the country of Patria. The south side seems to be losing until a group of special soldiers in white waltzes in. They transform into beasts and slaughter the enemies! So easy. Should have arrived earlier and saved their side the casualties. These soldiers who can transform are called Incarnates and led by Hank Henriette as well as his childhood friends, Cain Madhouse and Elaine Bluelake. It isn’t all sunshine and roses being an Incarnate as they have side effects especially those blemishes on their body. But Elaine is working hard to find a cure and close knit group bond very well together. I’m sure everyone is interested in the budding romance between Hank and Elaine but there’s a war going on so… The Incarnates notch up victories after victories. Until one day one of them just go berserk and started killing friend and foe. He claims he wasn’t himself in that state and to stop such future atrocities, he kills himself! With everyone being depressed and scared, Hank makes a vow to all of his men. If any one of them should go berserk like that, they should be the ones to stop it. As the war rages on, more casualties and more Incarnates also start to bite the dust. To lift his men’s gloom, Hank announces he will propose to Elaine once this war is over. Later that night as Hank talks to Elaine, he is told there has been a secret peace treaty signed between the countries. Hence tomorrow’s decisive big war may not even happen. However for Incarnates, they will have no peace. Hence Elaine pulls the gun and shoots Hank. She is in cohorts with Cain. She blames herself for finding a cure because eventually all Incarnates will lose their mind and soul and she will put a stop to that. She shot him because she knew he will stop her. The plan for Elaine and Cain is to kill all Incarnates before killing themselves. However Cain betrays and shoots Elaine! This was the last think Hank sees before passing out. When he wakes up, he is in hospital and Liza Renecastle from the military’s intelligence says he finally woke up after 2 months. She explains they found him on the verge of death while Elaine has been missing. The war has ended and Incarnates were told by Cain to go wherever they want. However they lost their minds and went on a rampage. Once considered as gods, they are now feared by people. Hank is so mad at hearing all this that he clenches his fist so hard it starts bleeding?! Hence Hank is now on a mission, going around to kill his ex-comrades.

Episode 2
Nancy Schaal Bancroft lives with her father, William in a small town. They run an orphanage and they are very much happy living this life. William teaches her to hunt the first time but WTF he brought along all the orphanage kids too?! Schaal fails as the deer runs away. Don’t worry. You’ll pull the trigger when you’re ready. One day, soldiers come to visit the orphanage. It seems William is being enlisted. Despite not being a soldier, he is selected because he is special. Schaal doesn’t want him to go and doesn’t care if they don’t have much food as long as they are together. William reasons he goes to war not for the money but so that the kids can have a better future. He has the power to stop this war. He left and when the war is over, he returned but as a huge dragon! Is it him? Yes. Those eyes. And so their fun days return. Not many towns can have a giant dragon, no? But it all starts going downhill when William showed signs of randomly going berserk. The villagers worried his is now only killing their cows so for the safety of the children, the orphanage kids are transferred away. Schaal is left behind. But one night she heard a commotion and she saw Hank killed her father in cold blooded fashion. Angered by this unreasonable death, she hunts down this man until she finds him in some western cowboy town salon. Immediately she shoots him but despite hitting directly into his chest, he still lives. Before she could get any explanation, Hank goes pay a visit to a returning Incarnate. Daniel Price has been killing travellers for their money so that he could give it to his mom and people. Schaal gets in the way and questions Hank’s decision to kill him but Daniel goes berserk. Hank defeats him and reluctantly kills him with a special bullet. Schaal is shocked to see all this and demands answers. Because Hank won’t answer, she will travel with him to see for herself what he does and why her father had to die.

Episode 3
In this next gloomy town, Hank rendezvous with Liza. Oh Schaal, don’t let those boobs intimidate you… This town is being ‘ruled’ by a minotaur AKA Theodore Sherman. He has been building a fortress from the town’s materials and giving a daily reminder to his townspeople to be vigilante about the enemy. He thinks the war isn’t over yet. So Schaal thinks they can reason and talk to the Incarnate? Girl, if talking was so easy, wars wouldn’t have happened in the first place! That night, Schaal follows Hank into Theodore’s fortress. Promise you won’t get in the way? Yeah, seeing all the dead guards who tried to storm into the place but got killed by the traps, she almost got killed by a trap she clumsily activated herself! Stay close! She asks him more about Theodore so Hank relates how this guy was a coward. But it is thanks to Hank advising him to always be prepared that somewhat calmed his nerves. Hank leaves Schaal behind to go deeper. Normally it is Liza’s job to bring her back but since she is so stubborn in wanting to see what Hank does (you mean the last time wasn’t convincing enough?), Liza lets her go. Yeah, the girls want to see some action too. Hank faces with Theodore who claims the enemy might strike when they least expect it. That’s why he keeps building this fortress and traps. But the irony the more he builds, he doesn’t feel a bit safer. Hank then plays the enemy just to make him fight. Now, if you’re wondering what kind of Incarnate Hank is, well he is so special that his powers only activate at night. Yup, he is a werewolf. Eventually Hank brings down Theodore. Because he is told he is going to die, suddenly he doesn’t feel the need to be scared anymore. Hank kills him as Schaal ponders what were father’s last words to Hank then. Meanwhile we see other Incarnates being hunted by an extermination squad known as Coup De Grace led by Claude Withers. And Cain is like some Dracula dude with the company of a loli and awaiting Hank’s next move?

Episode 4
Hank and Schaal ride the train that crosses the iron bridge. It is the symbol of peace between both north and south. We interrupt this train ride because Liza needs Hank to come over right now. It seems the behemoth has been moving faster than expected and at this rate he will crash into the bridge. Because of the behemoth’s healing factor, old wounds heal and it will become harder to kill him. So he’s like an immortal? Hank’s solution? Damage him on the side that doesn’t receive much attacks! That did the trick to bring him down. And do those puny hooks able to hold this behemoth down? Schaal thinks there is hope when Liza explains that the behemoth has not killed anybody and went all out to avoid dense areas. All soldiers wounded were not directly hurt by his attacks. This means there is still some humanity in him. Schaal tries to talk to the behemoth and convince him to turn around. I don’t think he can hear you. Meanwhile the railroad owner is angry the military hasn’t killed the behemoth yet. He is impatient they are going to use explosives on the cliff to kill the monster instead of the monster himself. You bet they’re going to take things into their own hands. Schaal asks Hank about the behemoth. Well, Arthur Allston is a man of few words. Doesn’t speak much. Period. Yeah, not even Hank knows a lot about this guy. But maybe he knows what this guy wants… For the umpteenth time, Hank has to put up with Schaal’s naivety of not wanting this beast to be killed. Still hope, huh? Not much different than us, huh? That night, can you believe it that bandits knock out a few military guys to try and kill the behemoth?! WTF?! This angers the behemoth as he breaks free (told you those hooks don’t do a thing) as he squashes the bandits and inches closer to the bridge. Hank fights him and he must be some strong werewolf to even try to hold back a behemoth! A few well timed explosions has the behemoth’s guts spill open. Still he is inching closer. And then a final strategically timed explosion over the cliff. It reveals a sunrise over the ocean. Yup. That’s what Arthur wants. To see the ocean before he dies. So happy he can just die. Just like that. Liza has information about Cain’s whereabouts. Hearing that name just makes Hank’s blood boil, huh?

Episode 5
Arriving at Whitechurch, despite this lawless town having high crime and murder rates, it is believed Cain has been killing its citizens. They go around asking citizens but they refuse to cooperate. With Schaal sewing back that small bullet she put in Hank’s coat, was this enough to let him tell her his bad blood with Cain? That night, another corpse is found and hung out in public. However Hank believes from the wounds, Cain could not have done this but the gargoyle AKA Christopher Keynes who had a strong sense of justice. A boy named Andy was the only witness to this murder but nobody believes him. Only Hank. When Liza wants to ask more questions, Andy naughtily strips open her shirt and runs! This is what you get for being so tempting!!! Schaal goes after him and learns that Andy has a grudge against the gargoyle because he killed his mom. Sure, mom tried to steal something but it wasn’t something she needed to die for. Schaal catches Andy in the act of stealing but the gargoyle sees this and will serve justice by killing him. Schaal is also deemed a sinner since she tries to protect Andy. When the gargoyle attacks, Schaal couldn’t pull the trigger. If not for Hank, they would’ve been goners. Viewing his captain is also a sinner, he invites him to the abandoned church where they will settle things. Later Cain visits the gargoyle and gives him a special bullet. It can take away an Incarnate’s abilities or kill, depending how you use it. That night, Hank goes to face off with Christopher. More spouting of his version of justice. That’s why he came to this town to cleanse people of their sins. At first he tried talking but naturally people freaked out and attacked so he had no choice but to kill. Ever since, he believed death is the justice he must bring. Hank is shot in the gut by the special bullet and loses his powers. Meanwhile Schaal is thinking if her pity was the reason she couldn’t pull the trigger. Then she realizes her rifle is missing. Oh no. Don’t tell me Andy took it. WTF the gun was right next to her and she didn’t notice he took it?! At least Andy got the balls to shoot the gargoyle even if he missed. Andy almost gets killed. Schaal tries to protect him. Could have been goners again had not Hank somewhat power up to rip out the bullet and do in the gargoyle. Even till his last breath he still thinks he is justice. Bang. In the aftermath, Cain shows up to invite Hank to a certain place. Please come if you want to rescue Schaal. Unfortunately Hank is so weakened that his fury didn’t power him up this time. Just blacked out.

Episode 6
Miglieglia is fascinated with Schaal because of her blue eyes. Arachne AKA Elizabeeth Weezer explains to Schaal that she is just bait to lure Hank in. Claude and Liza examine the bodies of victims of the gargoyle. However there is one body that doesn’t share the same scratch marks but devoured all over. This body belongs to one of the wealthiest man in town. His wife also died but with unknown reasons. Upon examining closer, Claude sees vampire teeth bites. He knows this is Cain’s doing. He controlled the wife to kill the husband. He orders his men to gear up and get ready for battle. Hank attends this lavish party hosted by Cain. He begins by praising other attendees for sharing his vision. Some history about the civil war that stemmed because of some minerals they were fighting over. When the south tried to establish trade relations with other countries, the north attacked. Hence the economy collapsed and the government using the excuse to steal their fortunes. Then when the war ended, they lost their chance to regain their fortune. Hence Cain is going make a new order and with their contributions, they can continue the war and lead to victory. He ushers in a few new Incarnates. And then Cain has the Incarnates kill all of them! Thanks for your contributions but you’re no longer useful! Hank begins his assault and at the same time Claude and his military too bust in with their weird steampunk gear to fight the Incarnates. It seems Claude is Cain’s little brother and wants to stop his madness. Can he? Cain doesn’t share Elaine’s view that they must all die just because they lose their humanity. Incarnates’ souls might change but they aren’t lost. They will exist how their hearts decide. In fact it is Incarnates who risked their lives for greedy humans. Who is more human? With Cain getting pierced, stabbed and exploded, you wonder why the final last boss is so easily killed. He’s not. Turns out because he is a vampire he regenerates! Damn, how do you kill an immortal?! Hank rejects Cain’s offer to join him in a new order. Thinking that something is shackling him down, this is where Cain will get rid of it and shoots Schaal! Uhm, can one die immediately when shot in the guts? With Schaal’s death mirroring Elaine’s death, this causes Hank to undergo trauma and extreme transformation. A giant wolf that is supposedly the king of beasts. Hank loses his sanity and goes on a rampage. Yeah, he sure left a huge destructive mark on town. Hank’s missing. Cain’s missing. Schaal might still be breathing…

Episode 7
Cain and his Incarnates have gathered enough humans to form a military. Even some disgruntled nobles have joined them in their cause to create a new independent nation of New Patria! As they make their base in the undeveloped west and gaining allies from other cities, the north is preparing for war. And how are they doing it? Kill all Incarnates in their region to avoid them from joining this new terror! Yeah. And not surprising, Schaal is alive and returns to her village. It seems the dress she wore was made out of special Incarnates material and after she had surgery done, she was interrogated. Hank has been stripped of his military rank and is now a wanted man. Soon, Liza and Claude come to her village. They hear rumours of an Incarnate roaming in the mountains. Can Schaal just easily follow them like that? No harm, right? And then it turns out the Incarnate is the dragon! I thought he was dead?! Oh, looks like he is in zombie mode. Apparently nobody burns the bodies of dead Incarnates but bury them. How the f*ck did they bury such a huge monster?! Anyway, with the dragon attacking, can their pee shooter do anything? Oh wait, the dragon retreats?! So while they prepare for better firepower (should have done this in the first place), Schaal talks about her father. Liza so sympathetic she gives her those special bullets. Yeah, it’ll help somehow. Next time they trap and attack the dragon, looks like it starts flying towards the village. Liza and Schaal try to warn the villagers but they don’t believe. You mean they didn’t hear the loud attacking noises from the mountains?! Too late. Dragon’s here. Run! Schaal comes face to face with her father. Now she understands why Hank did what he had to do. This time it is her turn to pull the trigger. Uhm, maybe this thing needs more than a bullet to bring it down. Eventually the last bullet into his heart, you can say Schaal somewhat said goodbye to her father. Yeah, the communication is in the eyes thingy so go figure. And now Schaal wants to follow Coup De Grace around so she could find Hank? He easily allows her? Don’t tell me he has a thing for her!

Episode 8
Claude’s men are stopping at a seaside town to stock supplies. Schaal stumbles upon a singing siren, Beatrice singing alone in the cave. Her only company is Charles, a bar owner who once let her sing on his stage. Schaal becomes friends with her as she reveals how the people loved her singing. But when war broke out, her songs no longer bring comfort. She was drafted but after the war ended, she realized nobody wanted to hear a monster singing. Her days were numbered. There is no point in living if she can’t sing. Schaal tries to cheer her up as she makes frequent visits. But too often that Claude even has his suspicions. Cue for him to talk about his mission to kill Cain because he betrayed everyone in the family. Oh yeah, also he’s also taking down Hank. One day, men come into Charles’ bar to question him about him being spotted going to a cave where strange songs were heard. WTF Charles beats them up?! Of course they shoot him! Couldn’t he just pretend and deny at first? Anyway, Charles drags himself to warn Beatrice about what’s coming. His death turned Beatrice sad. So much so she walks into town and starts singing, putting everyone to sleep. Not sure why Schaal isn’t affected (friendship power?) but enough to find out Beatrice is doing this to save everyone’s future. They don’t have to be scared anymore! With Schaal screaming this isn’t the Beatrice she knows, it brings her back to her senses. She knows she can’t go on like this and hopes Schaal will listen to her last song. And then… Firing squad!!! How the f*ck did they miss Schaal? Schaal stops them from firing the next round because Beatrice sings a non-hypnotic song. A very beautiful piece. You could say it’s her swan song. RIP, Beatrice. Claude’s men now move out as they have detected Hank’s whereabouts. He warns Schaal if she gets in the way next time, he’ll just shoot through her. Now we see Hank kill off an Incarnate walrus. Goo Goo Ga Joob! Sorry, I mean, good job…?

Episode 9
Hank is being haunted by those he has killed. He is then attacked by a garm Incarnate FKA Rex “Roy” Brock. He is under orders by Cain to kill him if he continues to decline his offer. Hank gets owned and could have been killed had not the dawn come. Claude and his men are trekking to the snowy mountains. As Claude is weak, he is hit with fever and the team is forced to temporarily halt their hunt. Schaal treats him as she tells him why she isn’t so keen on killing Incarnates now. After all that she has seen, she believes there is a way for Incarnates to coexist with humans. After all, they just want to live in peace and the human connection is what mostly prevents them from losing themselves. As the scout reports of Hank fighting an Incarnate, Claude immediately calls for an emergency meeting. Because he is still weak, his assistant, Sergeant Gerald Corlani forces him to rest and will take over leading Coup De Grace. Time for Liza to ‘relax’ him? This guy is so rigid and complaining he has to rest while the Incarnate hunt goes on without him, hence cue for Liza to tell him about Schaal’s initial goal to kill Hank at first. However she decided to find out more rather than killing him. She could be the most mature among all of them. It’s night time and Hank really slept the whole day. Still got those haunting dreams, though. And it’s like the garm waited for night fall to continue their fight. He is disappointed Hank won’t transform to fight him. Hank gets owned and as the garm tries to rip out his heart, trauma of death has Hank finally transforming into his Incarnate form. The tables are turned as Hank pulverizes him. But the wilder Hank gets, the more he gets traumatized and then reverts back to his human form. With Hank’s eyes lifeless, the garm is so disappointed and blames him he had no more dignity. Now he can only retain dignity by averting from the truth. He can’t save them. Before he kills him, the soldiers interrupt. Those pea shooters can’t do a thing but at least it could annoy the hell out of garm. During the intense fight, the ground collapses. Oh no! Hank falling into the abyss!

Episode 10
We see Roy as one of those in the frontlines during the civil war. Miraculously he survived but lived through another hell after being turned into an Incarnate. Because Hank always supported him, his words always made him feel proud. I don’t know how Schaal managed to pick up Hank and let him rest in a cave. All by herself! Hank soon realizes he isn’t in heaven. Because this is Schaal in the flesh. Not a ghost. With the garm slaying half the corps, you bet Liza wants to head out too. So does Claude. Yeah, everybody wants to have the piece of the action. Just say the right words. Need your help. Can’t let my men die. Can’t let Schaal die. That’s it. You’re good to go. Schaal tells Hank about the incident her father turned into a zombie and this time she shot him. Now she understands what it feels like when Hank shot his fellow Incarnates. Hank laments how he has to kill his comrades when they were actually humans to begin with. It is the only reason why he is able to kill them so ‘easily’. But now he feels the burden of the oath and that he is starting to lose himself. To a point he asks Schaal to kill him because he wants to die with the memories of how his comrades used to be. But he changes his mind. Got to settle some business first. Gerald uses himself as bait to lure the garm. Everyone encircles it and starts shooting. Gee, I hope no stray bullets. Even if this is Gerald’s plan to sacrifice himself, I guess it’s great timing for Claude to jump in and pump a few rocket launchers into the beast. Gosh, everybody just stood there and let it escape? Of course, warning from Claude to the old geezer not to pull this sh*t again. Hank faces off with the garm. Time to end this. At first Hank thinks of going down with him but with Schaal taking a few pot shots and then telling Hank she will kill him if he ever loses his way (or at least when he is still human) so that he could continue killing his comrades and fulfil his oath. That is her oath to him, to let him live as long as he can. And so the wolf dudes duke it out in a beast version of Super Saiyan fight. Until Hank got his fist through garm’s heart. Fight’s over. Roy so meek now. Was this what he was aiming for? And one final bullet in the head. Claude approaches Hank. After all the violence and blood tonight, I guess it’s time to try talking.

Episode 11
With Cain’s base discovered, orders are sent to all squads to destroy it. Meanwhile Claude is trying to interrogate Hank but gets emotional the moment he mentions Cain as his younger brother. But no time for this interrogation. Got the new orders, right? The leader of this mission is Colonel Martin Wall. It seems his side already has experienced lots of casualties and injured in trying to storm the fort. Furthermore, this is all just the doing of an Incarnate using arrows. Hank can tell this is the work of the centaur AKA Miles Byron. He has a plan to smoke him out. During a night raid where he can’t see, the centaur misses his target and thus will come charging to kill his enemies. He also screams during his fight so as to instil fear. The plan to lure and trap the centaur succeeds. However they can’t kill him. Because now he is an immortal and can regenerate! So while we wait for the next raid at dawn, some few time wasting scenes like Schaal getting restless because there is nothing for her to help around, the centaur attending wounds of his injured men as he was once a doctor and the usual Hank-Schaal conversation. Yeah, remember the time when she first shot him just like that? Now can really laugh it off. The morning raid begins. I wonder if Martin can actually take the fort with this small artillery unit. Anyway, after a while when it seems like they’re close to taking the fort, the centaur now pops up to do some killing. Yeah, a few men had to die first before the showdown with Hank. Flashback shows Miles was a doctor before a soldier. He was happy to have treated wounded soldiers well enough for them to head back to the frontlines but then there was no next time to treat them again because they died. He started pondering if there was any point to saving them at all. Then after he became an Incarnate and killed enemy soldiers, this is when he realized if he did the killing himself, he could save a comrade’s life. Well, he’s got a point but Hank claims his soul has been broken for some time now.

Episode 12
Miglieglia seems to have the ability to revive the dead… Once Hank gives the signal, the artillery fires all they’ve got at the centaur. He’s got regeneration, remember? But what’s this? Poisonous mist that disrupts his regeneration? Oh look, it also takes out the soldiers on both sides. Martin reveals this new poison developed after the Incarnate hydra’s death. Claude is against this sneaky tactic that caused casualties on their side but as Martin puts it, this is war and not some hunting trip. Then Cain comes into the picture and chops off everyone’s head! This guy can infect others as well as teleport?! He claims this poison is cheating?! So his vampire abilities aren’t?! Then he kills off Martin and could’ve done the same to Claude had not Hank return in time to face him (after killing off centaur for good, that is). Hank realizes too late that this is just a diversion. Because the rest of his Incarnates are busy taking over the south. Yeah, the north and south once again are going to have a sneaky alliance to fight against them so he sent his Incarnates to kill them all. With the help of zombies of course. Cain tries to open Hank’s eyes that humans are the true beasts because they are the ones who created Incarnates. So shouldn’t Hank thank him for killing Elaine? Hank replies that Elaine realized her mistakes and tried to fix them. That’s why he is trying to carry out her wish. Talking time over. Time to transform and fight. Damn, since when Cain has cloning abilities and hand blades?! No matter how much Hank attacks, Cain can teleport and slash him. After dealing him a fatal blow, he warns Hank he can’t even defeat him as human. So join him. Last chance offer. Of course with Schaal reminding Hank he is still human, offer rejected. Cain puts on his maddest face and tries to kill the girl. Only for Hank to suddenly power up and become Super Saiyan and beat the sh*t out of Cain with this single punch that caused a huge crater?! WTF?! With the fort taken by Gerald, cue for Cain to leave. Next time, Hank. In the aftermath, New Patria has taken over the south and hence the north declaring an emergency to recall all their forces back to the capital. Hank and Schaal leave first. Hank noting she has changed because now they’re in the same world. Likewise, Hank has also changed. More obviously, he smiles more often. Only because Schaal was there for him. But she isn’t doing this just for him, she is going to follow him so she can keep her oath even if this means putting herself in danger of the battlefield. Lastly, we see Elaine is kept alive in a pod in Cain’s base.

From Kemono Friends To Beast Wars!
The journey is still long and far from over. There are so many more Incarnates left to kill and with all the zombies now at their disposal, it is going to feel like a video game. Despatch zombie grunts along the way, fight mid-level and sub-bosses along the way before the final boss. There are so many unanswered questions especially that loli who keeps following him around. I hope this is not the plot twist whereby this loli is some reincarnation of Elaine!!! It better not be!!! And how did Schaal’s father revived as a zombie? Is this a forced plot convenience to push forward her character? What’s that? Elaine shown to be in some pod? Don’t let that fool you. Have you seen Elaine and Miglieglia together in the same place at the same time?! Oh yeah. Paranoia sure turning my mind into a beast now.

Aside from some silly moments in the series (seriously, Schaal as an outsider being able to do what she wants so freely in the military?), at first the story was interesting and captivating as it shows the dark side of war and those who were affected by it especially the soldiers who fought in the front lines. Perhaps it started to get a little boring halfway because the same formula of Hank hunting down an Incarnate while Schaal tags along and tries to understand why he does what he does. Halfway, a change of pace is needed with Cain finally showing himself up and revealing his intentions of turning rogue. I guess this is a much needed refreshing change because it would be a darn shame if the rest of the entire series sees Hank going around killing his ex-comrades. The ultimate bore fest. Besides, how many soldiers are there that turned into Incarnates? Are there like a hundred of them? If so, damn it’s going to take some time… So with Cain having revealed his hands, at least this gives Hank some ‘motivation’ to hasten his plans. But still, it wasn’t enough to save this season as this new direction didn’t make the series go anywhere as it still feels the same repeat plot of Hank going around to hunt down and Incarnate but in a different form.

As for the characters, it was interesting to note some of their personality and history especially those Incarnates that Hank went around killing. It gives them some character as we understand why they become so. But unfortunately it still feels shallow because since they are going to be killed off anyway. It’s like the excuse needed to give us the feels when Hank kills them. Because you too will somewhat sympathize with them and be at a dilemma when Hank shoots them. However as said, unfortunately with just an episode to focus on their back story, it isn’t deep enough for us sophisticated viewers to want to feel sorry for their deaths. But at least it tells us they once had a human side and possibly they still have them had the war turned out very differently.

Hank might look like a merciless ex-captain who goes around to kill his ex-comrades but of course he is the one hurting the most inside and we can’t see that. Imagine if Hank starts crying and tears coming out from all his orifice each time he has to pull the trigger, I think we’d be more annoyed than sad. So Hank has to steel his heart and kill them without showing any shred of emotions because who knows, he might lose it if he does. I figure it is also to show that he has his imperfect human side. That is why Schaal serves as his balance if he ever falls into that dilemma pitfall. Lucky him. Unfortunately the other Incarnates aren’t so lucky to have a young girl following them around. Hank and Schaal, Cain and Miglieglia… Ah, now I see why these 2 Incarnates can survive so long aside being the main character and antagonist.

Something bugs me about Hank’s character in the sense that I wonder if he was inspired from X-men’s Beast. At first I thought Hank looked like some discount version of Logan AKA Wolverine because of that hairstyle of his. However upon closer inspection, I thought he actually looked more like Beast. At least the version I knew in the comics that I read in the 90’s. Even more curiously, Beast’s real name is Henry “Hank” McCoy. Oh dear. See the similarities? But I think that is where the similarities end as they are both largely different characters. Just the thought if the base design on this character was just inspired from that. It might all be just a big coincidence but there is still a small chance that his conspiracy theory of mine may be true…

And then there is Schaal whom at first looks like an excess baggage. An excuse to tag along with him just to understand why he does what he does, wow that is too mature a thinking for a girl who was initially hell bent on seeking out her father’s murderer! I guess she didn’t want to fall into that stereotypical role of the character on a revenge mission. Although she does look like in danger of falling into that stereotypical role of being a damsel in distress. Heh. Once captured by Cain and almost killed! Sure, Hank doesn’t give a damn about her following him about but it just feels so odd that a girl like Schaal who barely has any military training but only some minimal deer hunting skills her dad probably taught her, I can only see she’ll get into trouble in everywhere she follows him and she almost did and could have got in Hank’s way. But subsequently after that incident she almost died, she changed and matured (although technically still weak as a character). Especially after she personally put down her zombie father. Now she’s not just tagging along but some sort of ‘security’ for Hank in the case he loses himself. So if Hank kills all the Incarnates, will Schaal kill him? Or will some sort of weird romance blossom between them? F*ck!!! Don’t let this turn into some dark version of Beauty And The Beast!!! So I hope she’d be useful from now on following him because hell I didn’t see her being any use in the final episode when Hank fought Cain. She just stood there watching with baited breath. And then when he is in dilemma, cue for her to remind him of his human origins. I guess that still helps no matter how minor the role is.

Cain as the antagonist feels one dimensional too. With a name like Madhouse, damn is it not a tell-tale sign that he is just going to be the plain villain? Heck, doesn’t have that typical villainy look on his face?! I don’t know what the story is between Claude and him because they have different surnames but I am guessing that after the betrayal, he took on this new twisted name. And even so, Hank didn’t see this betrayal coming from miles away. Literally under his nose. But it could be that we still don’t know much about Cain despite his claims for a New Patria country and hence we judge him to be just another megalomaniac villain. Likewise with Cain being so filled with angst trying to take his brother down, it’s like you want to tell this guy to cut some slack but I guess you can’t have a squad leader who is slacking, right? After all, Claude is the son of the north’s president and he has his expectations to live up to.

On a trivial note, I wonder if Cain is actually in love with Hank and wants to be gay with him! Seriously, think about this. Because he knew Hank and Elaine were lovers, killing off Elaine because she brought about the Incarnates was just an excuse to get rid of his competition. Notice his grimace when Hank was too close with Elaine? The same can be said when Schaal came to Hank’s aid. Look at his angry face that has all his veins bulging! And what did he scream to Schaal not to come into their beastly world?! Is it of the yaoi kind?! Do I need more proof when there were many chances for Cain to kill Hank but he always let him off the hook and giving him another chance. Yup, those second and third chances to join his side could just be a diversion so that some BL sh*t can get it on between them. F*ck this twisted fiction… I’m done thinking about this…

Last but not least, Liza. The only reason I think we’ll remember her is because of those monstrous boobs and cleavage. It’s like for those who aren’t into washboard types like Schaal, yeah this twin monstrosity might make your day. Because I don’t remember see her doing anything important that would at least make us remember what her role is. I don’t know if the military lacks enough material to make enough clothes to cover her cleavage but I suppose all the foot soldiers’ resistance game is strong because I don’t really see them react to those jugs. So don’t complain when a boy strips your top! The only person who mostly reacts to them is Schaal because they need some cliché moment where flat girl flusters seeing how mature woman uses her busty assets to her advantage. I guess nobody in her poor remote village has grown things that big, huh? HAHA!!! However as seen in the last episodes, those soldiers must be flat chest fans because they rather have Schaal than Liza who boldly flaunt her twin peaks as her main instrument of comfort!!! Is this Schaal’s first ‘victory’?

I’m sure they want some variety as they have different Incarnates rather than a whole bunch of similar ones. That is why you only see 1 minotaur, 1 garm, 1 siren, 1 centaur, etc. Couldn’t they have 2 of each just in case? Sure, you can point out garm and werewolf are somewhat the same but I suppose they are from different folklore source and origins so it counts as separate… I know they test on different individuals and each might have different results but even so I wonder how they are assigned to that Incarnate. And because they are designed after mythical creatures, does this mean they can’t create their own monster? So I figure those from the Ultraman or other tokusatsu series don’t qualify, huh? Yeah, nobody here became an Incarnate Godzilla… I bet it would’ve been epic. But for now, I wonder who got the gorgon, supposedly the best mythical creature out there no? Lastly, Cain being the ultimate Incarnate as a vampire and Hank a werewolf, is this some sort of ultimate showdown between the most well-known mythical monsters eventually? I suppose not many series puts the werewolf kind as being the hero, huh?

The action parts feel okay and although the fights between Incarnates are just average and borderline satisfying, the mind boggling parts are Claude’s Coup De Grace trying to hunt the Incarnates down. Firstly, their gear looks so odd because I think they want to design something that is badass steampunk but it makes the whole bunch of them look like Olympic skiers!!! Not kidding! And then their movements are like super stiff and worst of all, they look alike, meaning I thought they are some robotic clones or something. Oh well, they only exist to get slaughtered. Oh, they got some blood spilled so I guess they aren’t robotic NPCs after all. But still, the thought of their pea shooter guns and rifles feel really redundant. I mean, do they seriously think that if they pump tons of normal bullets into the Incarnate, they will die? I thought you need special bullets for that? I know some scenes are very gory and bloody but I thought the scene whereby Cain chopped off the soldiers’ head, damn I thought he exploded them!!! The blood just came gushing out like a geyser!!! It was hilarious to say the least!

Art and animation feel average. Sometimes I could see that the quality and frame rates dropping especially during those action scenes. I wonder if the designs of the military uniforms are inspired from America’s Civil War. Sure, there are some differences but that was the first thing that strike my mind when I see them. Heck, it made me wonder if this was an alternate fantasy reality of the Civil War! Also, Incarnate soldiers in their human form have weird patches on their bodies. It’s a sign of some aftereffect but it made them look like they’re suffering from some sort of disease like leprosy or something. Best part of turning into an Incarnate is that their military clothes don’t get ripped. The coat just unfold conveniently to show off their monstrous abs, huh? Hulk should get this material from these guys! This series is done by MAPPA who did Kakegurui, Zombie Land Saga, Shingeki No Bahamut and Zankyou on Terror so I can say that this isn’t one of their best works out there.

WTF???!!! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO KILL OFF MAMIKO NOTO’S CHARACTER AGAIN!!!! OMFG!!! I’M SO READY TO TURN INTO AN INCARNATE AND SMASH EVERYBODY!!!! Ahem… Yeah, once again here I was happy to hear Mamiko Noto’s voice in the first episode and though I don’t expect her Elaine character to be the main one, at least maybe you know, from time to time I get to hear her voice. And then they killed her off at the end of the first episode! WTF this atrocity! This is war! Probably they think they can calm my infuriation by making her whereabouts unknown because you know, Elaine’s body was never really found and hence there could be rife speculation that she is still very much alive. Hence a surprise if they ever wanted to bring her character back to life in future instalments. Oh right. Don’t have to wait next season. They already did that in the final scene of the final episode. She might be in some chamber but who knows if she is still alive or even the same person. But for now, the anger within still flows… And yeah, Elaine still does appear from time to time. In dreams and flashbacks… Yeah… Gotta appreciate what I’ve been given and can’t complain… And besides, doesn’t this Elaine character look a bit like Mamiko Noto in real life?! The resemblance is striking as though if this is her 2D version…

There are some recognizable seiyuus lending their talents here such as Yuuichi Nakamura as Cain, Youko Hikasa as Liza, Kenjiro Tsuda as the behemoth, Jun Fukyama as the gargoyle, Saori Hayami as the siren and Tomokazu Sugita as the centaur. At first I thought it was Nao Touyama behind Schaal’s voice but apparently I was wrong. Instead it is Ai Kakuma (Miyako in Imouto Sae Ireba Ii). The other casts are Katsuyuki Konishi as Hank (Laxus in Fairy Tail), Kaito Ishikawa as Claude (Iida in Boku No Hero Academia), Tatsuhisa Suzuki as the garm (Ban in Nanatsu No Taizai), Maaya Sakamoto as the Arachne (Ciel in Kuroshitsuji) and Kana Ichinose as Miglieglia (Kurai in Hitoribocchi No Marumaru Seikatsu). Sacrifice as the opening theme by Mafumafu is a rock paced outfit that fits this dark theme just like the ending theme, HHOOWWLL by Gero x Araki which is more of a slow rock.

Overall, this series had a lot of potential but was setback by its pacing and lack of more episodes to flesh out better the characters and storyline. I read many comments online that this was just slightly better than Fairy Gone but since I haven’t watch that one myself yet, I guess I can’t say. It becomes a pretty standard cliché of everything like a revenge story, a redemption story, hot sidekick chicks, good guys gone rogue, military only good for shooting everything down, etc! You get the drill. I hope this gets another season so that justice from all sides (the characters in the anime, us viewers) can be given but at this point, it seems this series’ fate is as hopeless as those who have turned into Incarnates. Abandoned and left to die a cruel death all alone while being usurp by more popular and mainstream ones. Oh, the anime industry have turned us into such entitled selfish monsters…

Machikado Mazoku

November 23, 2019

The time hath cometh… For another magical girl anime series? Not quite. Machikado Mazoku isn’t technically focusing on a magical girl as a protagonist. A normal high school girl one day realizes that her dark demonic powers have awakened. Hwahahahahaha!!! And so she unleashes havoc and reign of terror upon the townspeople! Oops. Sorry. Not quite. Actually she needs to defeat a magical girl in order to lift a curse on her family but since she is quite weak physically (and at times, mentally), she needs to undergo some training. The irony is that the magical girl who saved her from death the first time she ventured out as a demon, becomes her trainer. Damn, this is going to be awkward… And what’s this about them soon cooperating with each other to protect the peace of the city? Damn, this is already awkward, magical girls and demon girls working together…

Episode 1
A demon tries to awaken Yuuko Yoshida to her destiny. Sorry. Too sleepy. When Yuuko wakes up, she is shocked to find she has demon horns and tail! Not a dream! Mom! Mom! What’s going on?! Well, Seiko explains they aren’t actually normally people but from the Dark Clan. So basically demons? However their mortal enemies of the Light Clan (angels?) put a curse on them by stripping their powers and wealth. No wonder they live in poverty. Because Yuuko has shown signs of her power awakening, her goal is to defeat a magical girl to break the curse. Then offer her blood to their demon god statue of their ancestors. Uhm, you mean this door stopper is that statue? And off Yuuko AKA Shamiko (that’s short for Shadow Mistress) goes for the hunt. However bad luck follows her as she clumsily stumbles her way. Until she is about to be hit by a truck, suddenly a magical girl stops it with just a hand. Oh Shamiko, don’t think she is a cosplay maniac with such Superman powers. Because Shamiko looks so hungry, Momo Chiyoda even gives her some food. Taking pity on a demon girl? Shamiko feels insulted but she is forced to retreat for today. In school, Shamiko’s friends, Anri Sada and Shion Ogura aren’t shocked she has demon horns and tail. Because this town is filled with weirdoes! Heck, Anri even tries to make her horn useful by hanging her bag! They even point out a magical girl in the next class. Uhm, isn’t that Momo?! Shamiko uses an excuse recess is almost up and needs to head back. But because Anri is baying for blood, she thinks there is enough time for them to fight and calls out to Momo! Traitor! Oh, Momo is taller than you by a head! Shamiko gets offended of being called small. However her so called threatening call to end her life is more cute than intimidating since she flub he lines. Yeah, they even tease her for it! Shamiko begins by throwing lots of weak punches. Then she tires out… And she might have thrown her hip. Either Momo is that strong or Shamiko is really a wimp… Heck, Momo even teaches her how to throw a proper punch. Slightly better than before but still a wimpy punch. Heh. Even Momo thinks she is better off using a projectile. Poor Shamiko got offended and retreats in tears. Oh, she’ll train hard to become a great demon to defeat her one day! Just you wait! Shamiko’s little sister, Ryouko sees her training. Her sides are killing her… I think training is going to take a while… And can she be a demon lord by then? Nah!

Episode 2
Even though Momo says she is the weakest among the magical girls, Shamiko is still scared of her presence. Yeah, shows how weak this demon girl is. Despite tales of Momo saving the world, that was only because she had assistance. Shamiko vows to train hard to beat her. 500g dumbbell enough? Until she sees Momo with a bigger dumbbell. So demotivating… Because Shamiko didn’t give an exact date on the weekend for their rematch, Momo actually waited there and got tanned. Feeling bad? Yeah well, exchange contacts in the meantime. Noticing Shamiko isn’t fit, Momo suggests training her. Hence they go jogging. Shamiko is huffing and puffing… Can she be fit in time? And then she realizes they have run for 4km! Can borrow 500 yen to take the train back? So tired Shamiko that she fell asleep on the train and when she woke up, it’s already at the last station. Basically lost. With Seiko realizing Shamiko is having a hard time defeating the magical girl, she decides to increase her allowance. From 120 yen to 500 yen. That’s a lot for a poor girl! Uhm, isn’t that the amount she owes Momo? Yeah, Momo even offers instalment repayment plan. Does Shamiko have a choice? But in this state, she cannot defeat her because it would look bad for a debtor to beat up a person she owes. Also, she must quickly repay it in case Momo dies or forever be haunted by debt and bankruptcy! Taking the instalment plan of 50 yen, now Shamiko goes to buy a weapon (those friends tag along too for some reason). Obviously everything costs a lot more. Shamiko thought they are trying to trick her to buy food. But after all the resisting and that health is of importance, Shamiko spends some on some salty udon. With 120 yen left, need a drink? Sure this is not a scam to make her spend?! Shamiko tries resisting but after whatever Anri said, something that makes Shamiko think she has always been watching over her, Shamiko decides to live life to the fullest and buy a cola. Ah, that hit the spot. But now she’s broke. But poor Shamiko thinks everyone was just scamming her because then they see a free water dispenser… Oh Shamiko, if you only knew how to utilize free resources…

Episode 3
It’s that demon trying to talk to Shamiko in he dreams again. Too sleepy to even care! Anyway, after forcing her to pay attention, she is actually Dark Clan’s founder and ancestor, Lilith. First things first. She berates Shamiko for being weak and talentless. Is she the one to say as she herself has never defeated the Light Clan? Then some weird moment where Lilith got hooked by the cola she introduced. Because Seiko is calling for Shamiko to wake up, Lilith has to leave and tells her lots of stuffs. Can Shamiko remember all that? Shamiko tries to pen it down when she wakes up. But with Seiko busy reciting the grocery list, you bet Shamiko forgot them all! But first Shamiko must learn how to do the laundry since she messed up washing her own uniform. Since she is wearing gym clothes to school, Momo is kind enough to lend hers. A bit oversized, though… Shamiko might not be close in coming to defeat the magical girl but at least she realizes she will be at a disadvantage during close quarters. Hence Ryouko has researched she should try projectiles that suit he. So uhm, this low quality rubber band gun is her projectile? Damn, even Momo feels the need to help train Shamiko use it! So at a factory she once own (say what?!), here she teaches Momo how to use her lame projectile. Ironically, Shamiko is full of pessimism and doesn’t want to do it and Momo sounds like a dictator forcing her to do it. Momo even lends her wand and gives encouragement for her to project some sort of magic. Heh. A magical girl putting ideas of world destruction into a demon girl’s mind. I guess after all that futile time wasting and Momo calling her an idiot, probably that lit some fire in Shamiko as she can now project… Just a tiny bubble? Small and slow but if it hits back at you, it can cause a little pain like those injections. Yeah, Momo returns the wand and run like hell! But you know, Momo is so out of shape and slow that the bubble catches up and hits her. Ouch. Momo saying she wants to train her for a while, did she mispronounce that as enjoying seeing her being in torment?

Episode 4
Shamiko introduces Momo to that statue of hers. Her friends help by giving some offerings. Momo notices a switch underneath and flips it. Nothing happens… Except Shamiko suddenly becomes lifeless! It seems Shamiko is now inside the statue and sees Lilith lazing around. Quick! Put away those stuffs! As mentioned, looks like when all the conditions are right, Lilith will be able to swap bodies with her. This means she can avenge the Light Clan on her behalf so sit back and watch. Now that Lilith has possessed Shamiko’s body, she might sound intimidating but you know, she’s as idiotic as Shamiko. She’s making a fool out of herself than being threatening. Yeah, those friends are having fun. Lilith realizes the unfit body means she too is at her limits. Even more so her own magic deflects back! Just when she thought Momo is going to kill her, she gives up! When Shamiko wakes up, she is in a hot spa with her friends. Yeah, this was Lilith’s last wish. To add more insult, not only her body is aching all over, Lilith didn’t have money to pay for this and puts it on Shamiko’s tab! The debt has just grown! Because of this, her friends suggest a job where she can earn and pay it all at one go. But Seiko warns her about saving too much because the curse of the Light Clan means any extra money more than 400 yen will somehow slip away. Maybe Seiko’s just a klutz… But don’t worry. It isn’t a shady job and it’s just to sell wieners. Tastes good, huh? Shamiko believes this is what she’ll do after defeating Momo. And then speak of the devil… Magical girl, rather. Eek! Momo! Shamiko tells her reason for working here when she accidentally spills the pot of wieners. Oh no! All her hard work gone? Luckily Momo transforms into a magical girl to save them. But why? Momo says she doesn’t want to transform often because she has bad memories as a magical girl. However seeing Shamiko work so hard, she doesn’t want it all to go to waste. Shamiko feels bad and even more so when Momo buys up all the wieners. Thank you for your patronage. At the end of the day, the owner who promised Shamiko to take back extra wieners, well, here is plain yoghurt as substitute since all wieners were unexpectedly sold out. Shamiko then realizes it could be Momo’s devilish plan all along when she bought them all up. Curse you!

Episode 5
Shamiko has made enough from the job to pay Momo back. Now let’s do battle! Momo seems reluctant and after hearing how she don’t have money to buy what Ryouko wants, Momo rejects this offer. She even tempts Shamiko with free food if she accepts this plan! Shamiko realizes the lunch she always makes by herself. Momo reveals she has no family. Damn… So sad… As it turns out, Momo accompanies Shamiko to go shopping with Ryouko. Shamiko warns her not to reveal her identity since Ryouko is always told she is always engaged in a fierce magical girl battle. It seems the stuffs Ryouko want to get, a medkit and book on strategies, is she really thoughtful of big sis? Momo realizes the mini camera she has been staring at so Shamiko buys that for her. Shamiko is glad to have not paid her debts to Momo because seeing Ryouko’s happy face was worth it. And with Ryouko and Momo talking about the technical stuffs of computers and cameras, Shamiko feels so left behind. What the heck are they talking about?! Momo then lends her laptop as she gives it to Shamiko so that Ryouko can use it. But is warned to handle it with care. Don’t drop it or get it wet. You know how much that thing costs, right? Gulp. And so shaky Shamiko has to battle her way through Anri and Shion who are dangerously holding tennis balls and a bucket of water respectively. Is fate really testing her? If she passed that, on her way home now she has to deal with that scary dog (albeit in reality it is just a tiny mutt). Her fear has somewhat made Lilith to summon some sort of crisis management outfit for her? Here’s your sexy transformation scene. It just made Shamiko even more embarrassed and as the dog owner takes it for a walk, yeah, they do a double take on this weirdo Shamiko. It’s not over yet because when Shamiko reaches home, she trips on the statue and drops it! Worse, Ryouko comes running and accidentally steps on it! And Seiko also comes spilling water all over it! The Yoshida household in panic! But as they test, the laptop still works. Then a note from Momo stating she knew Shamiko will be clumsy and has put some finishing touches like waterproofing and shock absorbent. Shamiko views this as a defeat since Momo was able to predict her moves. Curse you! Ryouko is able to do (and exaggerate) a great cover story about her sister. Shamiko loves it and won’t let Momo read the printout. But the data is still saved on her laptop… Curse you!!!

Episode 6
It seems there is enough magic power for Lilith to bug Shamiko to enter into Momo’s consciousness and control her. Why does Shamiko feel so bad about it? Yeah, can’t think about any bad thoughts on Momo. After smashing this magic mirror, it seems Shamiko falls into Momo’s consciousness. She sees a young Momo and she has serious low self-esteem. So much so Shamiko has to ask her assistance to clean up the muck. But once that is done, time is up and Shamiko wakes up. On the way to school, Shamiko stumbles into a sick Momo. She claims she had a bad dream but somewhat felt happy at the end of it. Oddly, Shamiko decides to bring Momo home and nurse her. Isn’t this the perfect chance to defeat Momo? Seeing her in such a pitiful state, maybe another time. To Shamiko, Momo’s normal house looks big! Shamiko meets Metako, Momo’s cat navigator. Treat him nice and he’ll tell you some oracle but lately it’s been 97% cat ever since Momo lost her motivation. Shamiko tries to find some medicine but stumbles into this hideous thing in the fridge. It’s Momo’s failed hamburger cooking. Sure it’s not some demon poisoning thingy? Apparently she was trying to cook this because of a promise with Shamiko. Trying to cheer up the mood, Shamiko hopes to invite Momo to her home and cook this. After Momo falls asleep, Shamiko returns home to get some supplies. But apparently Momo followed her. Now she knows where she lives. She points out a seal by the Light Clan outside her door (it’s not a door deco, Shamiko) that prevents others from coming into her place. Even though it is worn out, only an invitation allows those invited to find the place. Because Shamiko earlier swiped some small blood off Momo, it is believed she might have unlocked something. Well, it’s the statue who can now directly talk to them in the real world! Momo feels disgusted. She got sick and her power drained just for this sh*t? In view of this, Momo wants Shamiko to help her protect this city while she recovers. Shamiko can’t say no after Shamiko makes her feel guilty for all the things she has done and lent. Sneaky… But for a week, Shamiko really takes care of Momo at her home. Wow. For the first time Momo lost?

Episode 7
Lilith sure made a very inaccurate recap of Shamiko’s exploits. All lies! Even if it is just a dream, Shamiko rejects it! When a police officer returns 1000 yen to mom, it is a sign that the curse is lifted! Wow! So much money! Hence Seiko buys lots of food to celebrate. Lilith thinks it’s time to flex her authority but Seiko lets her get drunk with some drink and let her soak in hot water. Shift in power balance… Then they realize the fridge is damaged from the recent blackout. How will they keep all this food Seiko bought? Seiko will have to cook all of them and they must finish it! Luckily, thoughtful Shamiko brings some to Momo since she is still recovering from her illness. Though, Shamiko isn’t a good liar that this is all so she can recover and then she’ll steal more of her blood later. Once Momo has recovered, instantly she puts Shamiko under her training regimen. You mean she has to build muscles by dragging this huge wheel? I know she has to take over her magical girl role but isn’t this too much for this weakling? Hence Anri suggests so and instead should start off with training that increases Shamiko’s courage like bungee jumping. Sometimes you wonder if she is friend or foe. Shamiko tries to convince Momo to regain her own strength and magic. When Shamiko asks about her weakness, Momo says it’s some mochi balls. Hence Shamiko rushes all the way to go get them. Even queuing for hours just to get a couple of them. Turns out to be a ploy to make Shamiko do some exercise. But there is some truth that Momo fears those balls. Her sister (not blood related, though) used to like this so Momo stopped eating this as it brought back unwanted memories. Seeing Shamiko trying her best, Momo thinks she might also want to try overcoming her fear and maybe help get some of her magic back. Then Shamiko gets tricked to get some green tea… By this time, Momo thinks it is time for Shamiko to build some muscles. So move that big tyre if you want to go home! It’s not budging… One day, Anri has a job for Shamiko. I guess it’s because she is small enough to fit into this mascot outfit. The kids are hounding her to hand out candies. Luckily a girl saves her from tripping and tells the kids to be orderly. To Shamiko’s dismay, this girl is a magical girl! Oh no!

Episode 8
Mikan Hinatsuki definitely isn’t a passing cosplayer and she’s on patrol and not on vacation! The more panicky Shamiko gets, the more suspicious Mikan becomes. Then in the alley, Mikan forces Shamiko to take off her gear. Shamiko panics and transforms. It seems Mikan was purely concerned if Shamiko was having heatstroke in that outfit. With Momo here, she explains Mikan is the friend whom she called to help in her place. Shamiko gets offended when Mikan thinks she is younger than them. As Shamiko cleans up in school, here comes Mikan. It seems she is going to transfer here too. Shamiko is happy to think that Mikan is a normal girl since she is more level-headed than Momo. However it seems Mikan is very worried about a curse she is having trouble keeping at bay. And then all the cleaned up trash explodes! It seems whenever Mikan gets anxious (especially when being praised), this will cause her curse to go berserk and bring bad luck to others. This is why Momo is late since she got caught up in all her bad luck. Shamiko tries reverse psychology like being the bad demon girl who will take her blood but Mikan thinks she is pitying her and her curse activates. In the end, Shamiko is forced to look for her statue that is now somewhere in the pile of garbage thanks to Mikan’s curse. On another day, Shamiko is forced to train by Momo. This time, she is going to transform into that outfit. Mikan would love to tell about her younger days with Momo but Momo doesn’t appreciate it and threatens her with cooking! So that’s why Mikan has forgot most of them. Shamiko somehow cannot transform. Momo thinks it is because she doesn’t feel like she is in danger so Momo is seriously going to beat her up. However she tires out due to the strain. Mikan explains when Shamiko took her blood, it could have been a matter of life and death for a magical girl depending on the situation. And although magical girls don’t die, their souls end up scattering in the air! Gee, that sounds as bad. Shamiko tries to cheer Momo up that she’ll work harder. But with Momo getting ready to get violent on Shamiko, I don’t suppose we can put off this training tomorrow? Shamiko is so scared that she finally transforms. There. Don’t forget that feeling ever. Poor Shamiko runs away in tears!

Episode 9
Shamiko complains about the need to fix this sexy transformation dress but Lilith says the more skin it shows, the more power she receives! So technically shouldn’t she be fighting naked then? Because Shamiko wants Momo to acknowledge her as an equal, Anri suggests beating her using brains. Conveniently the test is coming up so Shamiko challenges Momo to see who can score higher. Be warned, Momo has very good grades. She got a subject that scored 100%! Shamiko burns the midnight oil but what strategy Lilith proposed for her to ace? Well, it sounds a lot like cheating! Hey, that’s what the Dark Clan supposed to do, right? However Shamiko will not accept it and will fight Momo fair and square. In the end, although Shamiko did very well, Momo still scored higher. But wait. Why is Lilith in the top 10 placing?! Somehow she convinced the teacher to let her take the test. This means Momo lost to her. She claims Lilith cheated somehow as Shamiko’s notes were left in the bag but seriously Lilith never actually thought of this method (Lilith is good in history since she lived through those times). But ultimately, Shamiko feels she still lost… Seiko is happy when her new fridge arrives. But it is too big to fit through the door so she spends the whole day crying… Mikan calls Shamiko to go watch a movie. This is not just for fun but to help overcome their weakness. Yeah, this summer zombie movie! Don’t worry. Mikan is prepared to pay for her food and everything. Including her hospital fees! Oh sh*t. While it might look like Mikan is psyching herself up to be brave, the moment it starts, let’s hope nothing really bad happens… In the end, Mikan passes out and Shamiko ended up being fascinated with the movie since she sided with the zombies who went all out to overwhelm the overpowered heroes. When they decide to go see another movie, Momo is there too. From what I understand, Momo feels jealous she’s been left out since the duo look like they’re having fun. With Momo leaving hastily, Mikan feels bad about it. Oh no… Curse activating… Hey, at least they got some popcorn from the exploded popcorn machine. The next time the trio have nabe together, Momo says she’s not mad but clearly we don’t feel that way… Shamiko excuses herself and leaves poor Mikan alone with Momo…

Episode 10
Because Momo detects Shamiko lacks muscle mass, she makes some special ‘glowing’ drink for her to drink. And when she lets her watch some macho men exercising video, I guess that’s where she draws the line. Shamiko runs away! Did I mention that Shion is from the black magic club? She didn’t mince her words when she wants Shamiko to become her experiment subject! Don’t worry. Momo will go with her. Somehow Momo becomes her manager and rejects all of Shion’s suggestions to experiment on her. When Shion spots Lilith, she wants to experiment on her. Lilith surprisingly agrees in hopes to find a way out of their curse. She might be regretting it after Shion drills holes into her… Shion suggests creating a new vessel for her to easily move around. If only that clay isn’t made out of horse dung! The scrawny limbs make the statue crawl like a creepy bug! Pathetic. Eventually the leftover clay is made into a decent doll. Lilith loves it as she can move freely. However her evil thoughts are telepathically transmitted and hence Momo uses her magic to control Lilith like a rag doll. Dance dolly, dance! Ryouko realizes the borrowed laptop isn’t working. No worries. Shamiko can take and go ask Momo to see what’s wrong. Are you sure of ignoring that premonition of her beating your ass with more training? Anyway they go and see her and as Shamiko puts it, she doesn’t mind putting up with this ‘friendship’ seeing it helps Ryouko. But seeing her so innocent and honest, do they have the heart to continue lying? Hence Shamiko explains the truth about Momo being a magical girl. But wait. Ryouko already knows! However… She thinks that Momo is Shamiko’s subordinate! Please tell me stories of how you subdued this magical girl into your army! I guess the lies are piling up. It gets complicated when Mikan comes in. Huh? What subordinate? Until Momo tortures her and forces her to play along with this. In the end, there is nothing wrong with the laptop. It just overheated because their room has no air-cond. Momo even allows them to come here to use it if they find it more conducive. Just make sure Shamiko cooks some great food for her. Back home, with Momo lending stuffs to back up the laptop, looks like Shamiko’s debts are also piling. Realizing the need to live up to Ryouko’s expectations, Shamiko realizes she doesn’t know much on Momo. She even asks her future advisor on how to seek an enemy’s weakness. Wow this little girl is sure good and technical. Shamiko feeling bad? And then Ryouko spots a picture Momo left inside. A picture of Shamiko in her transformation outfit. Shamiko declares war on magical girls!

Episode 11
Brainstorming on how to get Momo to open her heart, Lilith of course has this devilish idea to ambush her dreams. Something that Shamiko is reluctant to do but here we go. Inside the outer subconscious realm, Shamiko encounters a human version of Metako. Or at least the Light Clan’s angel guardian. As Metako is unable to determine Shamiko’s nature, demon girl innocently blabs out the truth of wanting to attack Momo. Naturally she is going to be purged! Calling Lilith for help, she arrives in that strange bug form. So cat loves chasing bugs? Whatever. Entering the door to Momo’s dream, it seems Momo knows what is going on. Lucid dreaming. Uh oh. This is going to be hard. And Shamiko can’t leave… The door is locked! After getting scolded, Momo is stumped about Shamiko persistently trying to fight her. Wasn’t it to undo the curse? Shamiko believes her dad is away working hard to pay off the debts and this has Momo believing there is more to the story. That seal outside her door is actually to keep magical girls away. Long ago, Light Clans used to hunt Dark Clans and earn points. Of course such hunts today are very rare. It is very likely Seiko is the key to all this and that she is harbouring some secret. As Mikan is trying to wake up Momo, Momo tells Shamiko she is coming to her house after this. With that, Shamiko panics and thinks she is going to ‘grill’ her mom and prepares for battle. Yup, Momo is going to ‘grill’ her. The interrogation wise, not the cooking one. Shamiko still won’t let her in and this standoff has Seiko unable to tolerate this further and has both of them come in as she reveals the truth.

This city has a barrier that protects the Dark Clan and it was setup by the previous magical girl. Momo is shocked when Shamiko knows it is Sakura (because Metako mentioned it). Sakura is Momo’s mentor and sister-in-law. But she went missing 10 years ago. When Shamiko was born, she had a very frail body and was always in hospital. It could be she inherited a lot of the Dark Clan’s blood and suffered its effects. Otherwise take a look at Ryouko. She’s so normal. Thanks to Sakura and Seiko’s husband’s efforts, they managed to keep the balance albeit not perfect. That’s why they got the 400 yen curse. At the same time Seiko was also pregnant with Ryouko and placed in the same hospital. It is rumoured Sakura lost her magic and since she was unable to protect the city, Seiko’s husband offered to cooperate with her. But after Shamiko became healthy enough to be discharged, her husband went missing. Actually he is sealed in this very mikan box! A note was left outside their doorstep saying so. At the same time Sakura went missing. After hearing all this, Momo feels very bad. Her sister took away a family’s husband and father. Perhaps they are really mortal enemies after all. Depressed Momo leaves for home.

Episode 12
Seiko admits she never told Shamiko about this because she fears this would put a further strain to her frail body then. She now realizes it wasn’t right to lie to her and should have put her faith more in her. She shows him a picture of dad during their younger days. Boyish looks. So much shorter! Oh my. There is this fear that Shamiko did take after him… When Seiko says she stopped aging after becoming a vassal of dad, Shamiko goes out to find Momo. But she stumbles into Mikan and tells her the truth. Since this is the first time she is hearing, Mikan panics and of course brings a lot of bad luck. Although they brainstorm where to find Momo, Mikan can’t come with her because in her anxiety state, she might make things worse. You’re on your own. Eventually Shamiko manages to find Momo hanging out at a park where she often goes with Sakura. She is here to make a deal with Momo. Give up being a magical girl and be her vassal! Because of the seal placed by a magical girl, the logic behind is that if she stops being one, she can start searching for Sakura without those barriers. Yeah, Shamiko throwing in some freebies like 3 meals and a nap… Momo looks happy since this is Shamiko’s idea and seems resolved to fall to the dark side as long as Shamiko never leaves her alone. However! Something feels amiss. She’ll become weaker if she becomes her vassal, right? Lilith reluctantly admits so Momo flings her away! Now Momo has a new deal. Even if Momo doesn’t become a demon, Shamiko can still look for Sakura in her place, right? All she needs to do is to protect her and make her stronger. She’ll throw in a few protein shakes to go with that! How about this deal! So it’s like status quo, huh? Since it ends in a deadlock, they break for lunch. If only Shamiko can break the popsicle in half to share… Oh dear, need training? Back home, it seems Ryouko never believed mom’s lies about dad being away on some intergalactic business thanks to the crime novels she read. But she is glad to know that dad is imprisoned nearby. As for dad’s real name, it is Joseph! You mean they have Mesopotamia roots? So Tarou Yamada was just an alias, huh? Shamiko writes a challenge letter to Momo. However the teacher believes it is against the law and helps her write some love letter and the contents resembles like a penpal letter. Although she lets Momo read it, it eventually does sound like a challenge letter but her contents are so over the place that Momo doesn’t understand what she wants. So Shamiko wants to ditch practice and hang out to have fun? And boy, to Shamiko’s surprise she turns up in real nice clothes.

How To Train Your Shamiko
Don’t give up, Shamiko! Continue to try your best, Shamiko! Ah yes. It seems status quo seems to be the best ending that Shamiko and Momo as well as the rest of the other characters here could have. Forget about whatever war the Light Clan and Dark Clan are having. Forget about the rivalry between magical girls and demons. Forget about winning and losing. All they need to do is to bolster their friendship right now. Because that is what it looks like it is heading, right? So it’s not just Shamiko who mustn’t give up and try her best. Don’t give up, Momo! Continue to try your best, Momo!

From what we have seen all the while, I believe that Shamiko and Momo just want to be friends rather than becoming real mortal enemies. It feels a lot like that very much from the beginning. You can just tell from their half-hearted threats that they’re not interested in killing or even hurting each other. It’s just some sort of excuse to, uhm, interact. Of course Shamiko being more naïve and emotional, she reacts to almost everything and it might seemed that she is being bullied. I believe her trademark catchphrase of “Don’t think this means you’ve won this time!” is just her way of saying “Goodbye. See you next time” with some emotions.

After all, what kind of mortal enemies would go so far as to help each other so that they could regain their strength and fight each other at full power? Isn’t that what rivals do? I mean, if Shamiko really hated Momo, she wouldn’t have cooked for her and would just let her be and not care about her eating habits. And we do see how Shamiko takes the trouble to come to Momo’s house just to cook a wholesome meal for her. Although it looks like it backfires but that is in the short term, in the long run I believe this has a greater positive effect. I hope.

On the other hand, I also believe that Momo has taken a liking for Shamiko. Just that she is such a poker face girl so you can’t obviously tell she is enjoying her company. Further proof she considers Shamiko her friend: The time when Shamiko hang out with Mikan, that depressed Momo face was just classic. And as said that Shamiko is being such a naïve demon girl, because she is also cute with her reactions, it makes Momo want to tease her even more. That’s why all the strength training I believe isn’t really helping in making Shamiko strong. It wasn’t meant to make her strong in the first place at all! It is just part of some prank routine to be with her ‘friend’. If Momo was serious in her job to hunt down the Dark Clan members, she wouldn’t have been so kind to Shamiko or even lend her laptop to Ryouko who really looks forward to become Shamiko’s tactical advisor. It’s like Momo is digging her own grave, no? Which kind of money lender would have the most flexible repayment scheme ever?! Momo, I want to borrow money from you! Therefore in spite of the different backgrounds they come from and the things they have done, they’re like best friends.

Even Shamiko’s friends, Anri and Shion may come off looking like sadists and troublemakers who love to see Shamiko in trouble. I’m sure they mean no harm with their pranks and silly ideas but like I’ve said about Shamiko being naïve and gullible, the incentive is there to tease her and see her cute reactions. Yeah, best friends, right? Or maybe they could just simply well be sadistic troublemakers who love to see Shamiko in trouble. Yeah, best friends indeed.

Poor Ryouko as the series’ most innocent character, we fear this loli might end up experiencing the biggest disappointment in her life when she learns about the truth. With Shamiko and Momo continuing their charade, it makes it even harder for them to destroy her hopes. See those innocent sparkling eyes filled with hope? Hear her honest innocent voice filled with confidence and hope? See every action she does with earnest sincerity from the heart? Yup. How could anyone bear the fact to tell this girl the truth! Hence the question if they are protecting her or just delaying the inevitable. But I figure that Ryouko being Ryouko, even if the whole truth comes out, it’s not like she’ll turn into a bag of hatred. I mean, there is a very remote possibility but being the smart girl she is, I have faith she wouldn’t. I hope.

Despite the rivalry between the Light Clan and Dark Clan sounding like some epic legendary conflict, I believe that it is all blown up and out of proportion. To put it bluntly, I think they’re all just idiots. In a funny sense, that is. Not sure if time has mellowed them but take a look at Lilith. Instead of being a scary and almighty ancestor, you could say that she is just as idiotic as Shamiko. Must be in the blood and genes, huh? But then again, it could be that with the change in eras, the mind-set started to change alongside the culture. Because back then I believe even the deities didn’t have the luxury of enjoying human technologies like the internet or Smartphone so they can’t troll and do cyber bullying. Of course this is just me assuming and applying a blanket assumption over the entire world and it could be just those in this city are incompetent. But as narrated in the final scene of the final episode, this town is the only town in the world that is being protected and where magical girls and demons coexist peacefully.

So elsewhere, it might still be archaic witch hunt. So whatever actually happened to Sakura is still a big mystery but I guess that is not the point of this series. At least not this season. She might be outside this town, protecting the barrier from Light Clan and Dark Clan alike trying to infiltrate into this peaceful city. But at any rate we’ve discovered Shamiko’s dad’s whereabouts. Yeah, they’ll treat the mikan box kinder next time. Lilith being used as a stopper, paperweight and the likes, yeah maybe this is why she has turned incompetent. And then with Shamiko, Momo and Mikan looking quite complacent and incompetent, I’d say this war isn’t as brutal as it seemed it would be. At least in this city. I mean, heard of any brutal magical girl and demon deaths around?

The lines between a magical girl and demon has been blurred because sometimes you think Shamiko is more like a magical girl while Momo and Mikan are suitable to be demons. For instance, Shamiko’s kind-hearted nature as well as her own magical transformation scene. Seeing all the weird cosplays these days, this kind of revealing outfit is nothing! Haha! On the other hand, Momo sometimes has very dark and shady thoughts that Shamiko often rebukes to be just pure evil. And Mikan’s curse of attracting trouble to others? Doesn’t this fit a demon’s attribute? With the Light Clan using to hunt the Dark Clan for points being brought to light, it just throws into question who the real baddies are. Maybe it’s all that yin yang thingy and both sides exist because of each other. That’s why it isn’t just about the demon girl next door. It is also the magical girl next door.

Artwork and animation feel pretty okay. Nothing to shout about or complain. Everything is bright and colourful. The characters are cutely designed so you can tell from the start that this isn’t some dark themed magical girl series. Oddly, Momo’s magical girl outfit has this uncanny resemblance to Madoka of Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica fame. Almost. Just because they’re both overwhelmingly pink and they spot twintails. And I can’t help notice but Shamiko’s devil horns look like mini croissants… I think my stomach is growling… This anime is animated by J.C. Staff who is famous for One Punch Man, Shokugeki No Souma, DanMachi, Little Busters, Shakugan No Shana and Toradora.

Voice acting, I only recognized Sayaka Ohara as Seiko. Not the typical villainess role that I often pigeonholed her to always perfectly play. But sometimes the nicest ladies too like Alicia of Aria The Animation. Initially I mistook Eri Kitamura to be behind to voice of Lilith. I guess I was wrong. Lilith is voiced by Minami Takahashi (Megumi in Shokugeki No Souma). The other casts are Konomi Kohara as Shamiko (Chika in Kaguya-sama Wa Kokurasetai), Akari Kitou as Momo (Kaho in Blend S), Hitomi Ohwada as Ryouko (Eagle in Girly Air Force), Tomoyo Takayanagi as Mikan (Oguri Cap in Uma Musume: Pretty Derby), Sayaka Senbongi as Anri (Mumei in Koutetsujou No Kabaneri) and Ayaka Suwa as Shion (Non in Akkun To Kanojo).

The opening theme is Machikado Tangent by Shami Momo (if you haven’t guessed it, it is the duo behind Shamiko and Momo). Pretty generic lively anime pop if you ask me. Nothing that special. As for the ending theme, Yoimachi Cantare by Coro Machikado (the quartet behind Shamiko, Momo, Lilith and Mikan) sounds pretty frantic. It’s like they want to match the somewhat crazy pace of the series but it comes off as weird. Even the animation is pretty weird. You have the characters in chibi format, some demonic monkeys and goat, it’s like one big LSD trip or a very weird cartoonish dream.

Overall, this is a silly but fun anime to watch and it brings back some similarity with Gabriel Dropout because it’s about a fallen race just trying to their best or the minimum to get back up. Despite they fail but you can’t help continue to cheer them on because, well, at least they’re trying. That being said in the loosest form. The cute and humorous interaction between Shamiko and Momo is amusing to watch and breaks the traditional barrier that mortal enemies don’t mean being mortal enemies forever. Whatever beef the ancestors had a long time ago, doesn’t mean future generations should just blindly follow that fate. In this time and age where the rivalry of magical girls and demons are no longer trending (at least the setting of this anime), isn’t being friends a much better alternative? Even if you’re being jerks to each other? That’s what friendship is about, right? Yeah to be honest, I still have my doubts… While other anime series has magical girls and demons still at each other’s throat, at least this one has proven that friendship has succeeded in making both bitter rivals get along with each other. Don’t think this means friendship has won just yet!

The time hath cometh…

Agent Aika

November 22, 2019

Yeah… I know what I’m getting into when I decided to go watch this retro OVA series, Agent Aika. Uh huh. Fanservice galore of the 90’s! Who cares about the profession of our titular character who is working as some Salvager to salvage lost items from the ocean’s deep. It’s just one of those excuse why our ladies need to don the swimsuit and parade in them around with their sexy curvaceous body. Who needs a plot when you can gawk and stare at all the cheesy fanservice, tits and ass shots and all because that’s the only thing that you’ll find focusing the most. Oh, there’s a plot? What plot?! Just stare at those asses and you can’t go wrong!

Episode 1
A tour guide has the tourist view the submerged Tokyo city. Also, there are lights beneath this underwater ghost town as Salvagers are working to salvage lost items. Among them is Aika Sumeragi and Rion Aida. As soon as they salvage a suitcase, it is snatched by bitter rivals, Gust Turbulence and B.A. Bandora. He wants Aika to date him if she wants her package. Of course she won’t date this rich playboy. Only an underground explosion stops their tussle. As Rion hands over the suitcase to the client, he will only pay half price since it is damaged. She would have beaten it up had not Gouzo, her boss-cum-father stop her. He tells her about the pride of being a Salvager but as a realist, Rion reminds him it doesn’t pay their bills. A client then calls him and for the umpteenth time, he turns him down on this dangerous mission. It’s not about the money. But Aika snatches the phone and will take up this job! Money > Pride. As they go meet the client, it seems Gust is also hired for this job. They are to retrieve data and/or sample of Lagu. The reward is very handsome. As they leave, they are ambushed by Nena Hagen and her hot chick goons. Of course Aika and Gust fight them off so Nena warns they are also after Lagu and to keep their noses out if they know what’s good for them. Naturally, Aika won’t listen and will still go ahead. Before she leaves, boss talks to her and it is hinted that Aika still feels responsible of putting him out of the game, that’s why she still worked under him. Though, he doesn’t hold any grudge against her. Damn, Aika flying some jet without any gear and can pilot it with her thighs?! Only in the air did she realize Rion snuck on board. You mean she didn’t even notice?! Rion throws a tantrum when Aika wants to turn back and not let her help on this mission. Until Gust zooms past her that Aika just doesn’t care anymore. Do what you wish. Nena and her team are on board some destroyer. Detecting those jets, she has her goons fire missiles. I guess they’re bad at aiming so Nena herself takes to the skies and shoots down Gust. Her brother, Rudolf Hagen has detected they are in the vicinity of Lagu and orders her to come back. As she is stubborn, she continues hunting Aika. I suppose it is Lagu’s weird waves that cause the jets to stop working. Nena ejects and Aika’s plane must be so old it has no eject seat. Nosedive! Hence her weird outfit automatically activates. WTF this weird tentacle rape transformation scene turning Aika into some hot tropical island chick to better pilot and land the jet! Wow. Super. Once on the island, Aika and Hagen’s eyes come into contact. So close…

Episode 2
Nena tries to act tough and beat up Aika but gets her ass handed to her instead. She wanted to get revenge but Hagen takes a liking for Aika and welcomes her on board. He tells his sister to go find Lagu instead. So this sphere thingy is Lagu? Hagen explains to Aika that it has some sort of power that caused that world catastrophe 20 years ago. Earthquakes and volcanoes and the likes. Many cities destroyed. You could say that Japan was one its victims. He then shows Aika a laser beam using Lagu’s power that disintegrates metal into nothing. Though this is just a military toy, he believes Lagu has more potential than this. One of them being restoration of Earth. Hence Lagu is like the vaccine to rid of the infection that is humans. Now that he has Lagu, he couldn’t care less about his military colleagues and wants to move on to his next stage of research. He wants Aika to join him. Uhm, I don’t think the right way to convince a woman to join you is to molest her body! Aika is not interested in anything except Lagu’s data. He gives her some time to think but in the meantime he goes to have incest with Nena?! She is jealous of Aika and wants to kill him but I guess she loves him too much to do that. Meanwhile Gus sneaks in to rescue Aika. Thanks to all the useless goons, he easily incapacitates them. All of them. Yeah, they’re so incompetent that they left ‘unconscious’ Rion alone when their shift is over! So Rion can sneak around in their clothes and eavesdrop some juicy details. Then she stumbles into a strange girl, Maypia Alexymetalia. She might be a spy because she sneaks into some restricted area to take pictures. They are caught by a guard but thanks to the alert being sounded, they use this excuse to ‘return to their post’. During the commotion, Nena is so angry she trashes her room while drunk? So now Hagen is going to have sex with Aika? Sex in exchange for the data?! Yeah, he’s interested in her outfit too that has this rare Ultranate Metal. Sex interrupted when Gus comes in to rescue her. It’s not what you think but thanks to his timing, she manages to steal the data and escape with Gus. Outside, the guards corner her. Drunk Nena wants to take it all out on her. When Gus tries to protect Aika, Aika instead protects him. She got stabbed in the shoulder. This activates her suit and super Aika now tentacle whips everybody! Hagen is amazed seeing all this so he fires some beam at her to neutralize it and revert Aika back to normal. He wants Aika retrieved. You can kill the man.

Episode 3
Amazingly Bandora flies in. You don’t think your puny semi-autos can take it down, huh? Gust takes Aika and escape in the jet. Meanwhile Rion follows Maypia and learns she is some super spy. Yeah, here comes the teasing of how a spy has a business card! Crawling through the ventilation, they arrive at the Lagu reactor that serves as the ship’s main power source. Aika wakes up from this dream of some explosive action with Gouzo. Too dark and blur to make things out but she activated her suit. She realizes Rion is left behind and wants to go rescue her. In that weak condition? Gust relents but after she gets her strength back. And man, that was fast because Bandora is taking them there. Also, Hagen has created some pantsu based on Ultranate and is supposed to be a lot more times powerful. Gee, so fast? He wants Nena to wear them. Since the military threatens to use force to take Lagu from Hagen, I suppose they don’t know what he can do, huh? So Hagen proclaims to his crew that they will soon take off to the skies and use Lagu to purify Earth. He maintains nothing will be destroyed in this operation. But first, take down those pesky military ships. Uh huh. After destroying the main ship, other ships flee. Now you see the power of Lagu? And Maypia is frustrated her higher ups have abandoned her because it’s her mission to destroy this reactor. So as the submarine prepares to turn into a rocket and take off, Maypia opens the hatch so she can escape (you mean main control can’t close it and Nena have to go down herself?). Sorry, Rion. This jetpack is only single seat. But Rion holds onto her until Maypia crashes outside somewhere! Then Rion gets arrested by the hot chicks. At the same time, here comes Bandora’s jet carrying Aika and Gust. I don’t even know how this is possible that the duo drop in despite all the turbulence. Unfortunately Gust is blown away while Aika manages to sneak in before the hatch closes. The rocket takes off and destroys Bandora’s jet but not before she ejects. Good to know that Gust and Maypia are still alive stranded on the island below. Aika is now in but is suddenly strangled by… Pantsu tentacles?! Is this Nena’s Ultranate?! Damn, why does Nena like a discount version of Rutian Twi’lek Jedi Master, Aayla Secura?!

Episode 4
Gouzo manages to convince his employer to lend a shuttle so they can go up and rescue Aika. Hagen explains to Rion about his plan to beam Lagu down and activate earthquakes and destroy civilization. This ship is like Noah’s Ark and has DNA of all other life forms. Yeah, in addition to replenishing other life on this planet, Hagen is going to have his utopia paradise. No wonder all his crew are hot chicks only. Rion will not have a part in his perverted plan and is taken away. Aika manages to distract Nena and run away. Luckily she bumps into Rion but their reunion is short-lived as Nena is back to beat them up. This causes Aika’s Ultranate to activate as she transforms before Rion’s eyes. Aika laments she doesn’t want to see her in this form. However Rion is ecstatic with this transformation. It’s like anime! Then the Ultranate babes slug it out. With Bandora managing to dock onto the rocket, Gust places bombs everywhere while Gouzo has Maypia guide him around the ship. The more Nena gets desperate to defeat Aika, suddenly her Ultranate goes out of control and she starts melting. Ugh. Gross. I suppose no humans are supposed to withstand the fusion with Ultranate, huh? Hagen manages to neutralize Aika and narrates about some research into this Ultranate. It could have been the perfect weapon had not it claimed the lives of many researchers. It is rumoured that Aika is the only survivor but that data was lost during the great disaster. Now that Nena is of no use to him, he wants Aika to work on his behalf. Damn, this guy got the guts to kiss her?! Got too close that the Ultranate stabs him! Just desserts when Nena clings on to him and won’t let him go. Eventually fusing and absorbing him as one. With the Lagu reactor going out of control, you bet the mission is a failure. Don’t want hot chicks to go down with the ship now that their captain is done for, huh? Abandon ship! With our heroes meeting up just in time and escape right before the rocket explodes. Phew. Humanity is saved.

Episode 5
I guess the salvaging business is doing great that Gouzo hired another staff, Shuntaro Michikusa. Also, to appreciate their contribution, Gouzo has them stay at an island resort. Of course on this resort are also ex-Hagen babes (collectively known as Delmo). One of them doing a total makeover as a man. Pierre Valimore bumps into Aika and charms her way into Aika’s heart. Rion is jealous but there is nothing she can do. While Pierre takes Aika out on a date, the other Delmo babes kidnap Rion and Michikusa. Damn, Aika must be an easy woman to end up kissing Pierre! Finally going back to the hotel, Pierre drugs her drunk and brings her back to his room. Unfortunately no naughty time because Aika realizes the other Delmo babes surrounding her. Led by Bianca, they are here for revenge and killing her won’t be enough. They want to humiliate her. Isn’t that too much revelation for a bad guy? Yeah, villain fail 101. And Aika realizes Pierre is a woman, Valerie. First, they toss Rion and Michikusa into the pool to drown them to make Aika in despair. But Aika surprises them and jumps down several levels to save them and also beat up those lowly babes. Nothing like pool water to sober you up, huh? Then some weird chase throughout the resort begins. Aika has her fast rematch with Valerie. Why she gets knocked out so easily? I guess this means she gets to fight Bianca. But the fight too doesn’t last long as sore loser Bianca calls for air support. Uhm, more like armoured tanks being dropped? WTF?! Damn, can armoured tanks run rampant around the resort? I guess one of them being dumb enough for Aika to hijack. Damn they’re blowing up the resort like nobody’s business! And then Aika has a sneaky trick that has Bianca shoot directly at her. Wow. You mean Aika didn’t die from the explosion? So when Bianca gets close and let her guard down, surprise mother*cker! One hard kick to the guts to knock her out. And as soon dawn arrives, Aika and co leave the island. It’s not over yet as those Delmo chicks have yet another operation in hand.

Episode 6
Wow. The enemies talking about the need to gather data on Aika so they can defeat her. A good idea. But I’m worried about the execution… And so we see a couple of Delmo girls in disguise seeking Gouzo’s request for a salvaging mission. They heard Aika is the best in the field and they require her. So it’s off to some cold land, presumably Russia? The modified jet Aika will use for the probe is currently being piloted by a young girl, Rie Petroyikowa. So to see if Aika is fit to the task, Rie does a lot of physical examinations on her including Twister while being taken pictures in sexy compromising positions. Damn, Aika must be a fool to think there isn’t something wrong with this. Rion is so jealous about this but her hunch might be right when she starts pulling the skirt of one of the staffs. This leads to her discovering they are Delmo babes in disguise. Yeah, WTF are they wearing their uniform underneath those clothes?! So when she goes to spill the beans to Aika, cue for Rie to admit everything and also spill the beans they want her data. Villain fail 101 again. Rie now needs data on Aika’s fighting skills so she sets some of the Delmo girls to go fight her. Of course you can tell Aika will easily despatch those goons. They’re so useless that Gouzo despite being drunk and singing karaoke, they can’t even hit him while he hits them back in his drunken stupor! I don’t even think this is drunken fist! More villainy fails when Rie shows some of the recorded intimate moments of probing inside Aika. WTF?! Shoot the screen! Rie fights Aika and claims she has studied her moves. Yeah, didn’t see this choker move coming, huh? Then it boils down to chasing after the data. Yeah, all saved in this precious diskette! Rie runs to the Commander to give the data. Along the way, Aika takes out more Delmo girls until she arrives at the final big boss. So why are they doing this? So now that Hagen is gone, they have no reason to exist and this is so called pride? So they don’t have a life? I just don’t get it… Anyway, more Aika acrobats and high kicks to knock them out. Not even the Commander stand a chance. Oddly, Rie who was fighting her a while ago is now cowering in fear? I guess mission complete when Aika destroys the diskette. As they leave via jet, Rie is not done yet. WTF she brings out this SAM artillery right in the middle of the runway to shoot them????!!! Not sure what Aika did to disable her HUDs and Gouzo shooting some blunt object at her, this knocks her out as she misfires and destroys some other jet. Sleep tight, Rie. And the rest take off back home. What a weird misadventure…

Episode 7
Gouzo talks to Rion about her future. He doesn’t want her to continue this salvaging business but she insists she wants to. Meanwhile Aika is working hard back at the office but suddenly a power outage! Should have saved those 4 hours of work! Of course this isn’t just an accident. Freddy Krueger Delmo babe is trying to kill her! Damn, they really wreck the place. When Gouzo and Rion return, the enemy is just about to escape. WTF Rion standing in the middle of the road?! Gouzo pushes her away and gets run over! OMG! Worse, since when did they plant bombs around the office and boom!!! Entire building collapses! You mean this isn’t anything serious because after the fireman and ambulance, next day no police to cordon off the freaking area???!!! And why are the other buildings unaffected?! Where are all the other people?! So you can’t blame Michikusa for coming to work and suddenly no office. Yeah, Rion sifting through the rubble to find Aika. Only her earring. Damn, this girl wants revenge and drags Michikusa into her scheme. I don’t even know how Gust knows Aika is dead and is crying his heart out. Bumping into Rion, she wants his help in this revenge plan but Bandora says some pretty good advice that she shouldn’t be doing this to make Gouzo sadder (he’s hospitalized, you know). What does Gust have to say? He’ll help Rion in her revenge plan! You’re on your own. Bandora’s out. But where do they start? It seems Michikusa knows a former super spy… Yup. Maypia! How the heck does he know her? I don’t think they’re dating. With Delmo’s base located in some rocky island, our revenge team heads there only to be intercepted. Yeah… Stupid enemies didn’t even make sure they’re dead so nature washes them up nicely on shore as they get their revenge plan going by stealing some weapons and then run havoc throughout the base! Eventually they face off with Bianca and Rie but the duo let them handle Sania and Tonia (that Freddy Krueger girl). All of them got owned. Before they could be killed, cue for Aika in her Ultranate version to the rescue! Yeah, didn’t think she was dead, huh? Besides, she has been running wild too throughout the base. She beats up those Delmo girls and before you could say boss fight with Commander, shockingly she is not going to fight Aika. Heck, she doesn’t want her comrades to be further injured and calls off this operation. It’s about time she realizes that! But oh no! What will they exist for? Who knows… Anyway, everybody agrees to abandon base and never come into contact with Aika again. Gee, that was easy and so anti-climactic. Why must the base self-destruct? In the aftermath, we see our usuals continue to go about their salvaging job. Life goes on.

Special
Sometimes dubbed episode 4.5, this short takes place around the time Gouzo’s company moved into their new building. Aika is moving the boxes and hopes Rion can help but she insists to let the new recruit do it. Well, that guy seems to be busy taking photos with high school girls who think he is hot! Until Rion kicks his ass, a signal for those girls to get the heck out of here! Rion really wants to do a promo video for the company. It’ll bring in the money too. However Michikusa spoils it that they don’t have the capacity to handle it so Rion beats him up. Uhm, did becoming a punching bag is part of his job description? Because as Rion continues to explain how to promo video would look like (fighting terrorists?) and Michikusa commenting how it is so spy-ish, once more she beats him up. Rion continues to dream to be a super agent like Aika. Imagine Rion in skimpy sexy outfit and doing all those kung fu chops. Yeah… When Gouzo returns, Rion bugs dad to do a promotional video. He agrees. Hooray! However… A promo video needs a song. See where this is going? Yup, looks like he just wants to sing. And a duet with Aika! I guess we’re not getting the promo video Rion wants.

Aika R-16: Virgin Mission

10 years later, a prequel spinoff OVA, Aika R-1: Virgin Mission was released with some few changes. But the same ol’ panty and crotch shots remain the same and bountiful.

Episode 1
Aika has gotten her C-licence as a Salvager. Gouzo doesn’t seem pleased on how she got the licence with that skills. So, uhm, feel it with your ass? Since when he is a dirty old pervert? We take a peek at Aika’s school life. Well, despite living in the dorm right across the school, she manages to always come in late. For the 30th day in a row! Hence teacher, Nagisa Risako reprimands her to clean all school windows. Aika later realizes her posters of offering her Salvager services are being torn down by class rep, Eri Shinkai and her goons. Don’t want that kind of cheap service to ruin the class’ reputation, huh? Yeah, they argue till Risako had to remind them they’re already late for class! Is this going on their permanent records? Later Eri brings Aika to her treasure hunting club in which she is a president. I guess rich girls have weird tastes of art, huh? Tempting Aika to pilot some mini sub she likes, so what’s the catch for this mission? I guess everybody gets the wrong idea when Eri starts stripping the top of Karen Minamino. This isn’t a club about starring at boobs! Look closer! At her boobs? No! There’s a butterfly mark on her boobs! Looking even closer, the mark is made out of numbers and based on some deduction Eri did, it leads to an encryption that spells out, “The gate of truth will be opened by the sleeping butterfly” accompanied by coordinates. So we’re assuming there is going to be some treasure here so it’s treasure hunting time.

Taking a cruise ship there, Captain points out a ‘problem’. Gust, the young butler has trouble serving Risako because she’s so sexy at every turn, he has boners all the time. Yeah… Apparently Risako is the advisor for this club so you bet she’s tagging along. Captain discusses with Eri that the coordinates of this location is very dangerous. Something like the Bermuda Triangle. But Eri equates danger with the romance of adventure and loves it. Captain reminds her he has a job as instructed by her father to keep her safe. If it gets too dangerous, they’ll turn back. Later Aika asks Eri how she found out about Karen. So basically she got curious of a lonely girl living alone and stalked her? Meanwhile several girls are being knocked out and hypnotized by Risako. Some of them try to take out Aika and Eri but luckily they manage to dodge the tranquilizers fast enough and Aika knocking them out. So this device in their ass is what’s making them like obeying zombies? Risako has tranquilized Karen and is trying to kidnap her. Captain stalls her before she gets away in her helicopter, enough time for Aika to come rescue Karen. She is shocked that Risako is doing this so sensei tells her today’s lesson that she should be sceptical of other people. Then they just let her get away? I guess she didn’t get Karen so that’s okay? Captain wants Eri to call off this mission but she is excited to carry on. She loves the danger of where this adventure is heading. She threatens to fire him if he abandons this mission. Captain hopes Aika could say something to her but unfortunately, she is hired by Eri. She’s the boss. She calls the shots.

Episode 2
Risako reports back to her boss about her failure. However he isn’t panicking yet because Karen has friends who would also protect her. So I’m guessing there’ll be another chance. Meanwhile… Naked girls baring their ass?! Is this the way to examine the mind controlling device? Karen somehow knows it will disappear within 2-3 days and will leave no mark. It’s just her guts saying. And now for the much awaited beach episode. Sexy young girls in swimsuits having fun while the guys do all the work surveying the ocean floor… I’m okay with this! Soon, one by one the girls start dropping like flies. Looks like Risako is here to cause trouble. Only Aika, Karen and Gust remain conscious. After using Gust as distraction to take out the sniper, Risako despatches her sexy hot babes to fight Aika. She manages to get by with the help of Karen’s lousy golfing. Aika then faces off with Risako who tells her there are some things that should be kept a secret and never revealed. Not that Aika would listen to her anyway. Both ladies fight and Risako has the overwhelming edge. Had not Karen help out with that grilled lobster distraction, Aika wouldn’t have the chance to fight back and land her high kick on her. Risako is tied up and because she won’t talk, Karen shoots her! Oh, just tranquilized her. Karen knows there are transmitters in Risako’s bikini and rips them out. She talks through it and knows who is behind this. It seems Karen knows she doesn’t remember much of her past. She wants to regain her full memories and discover who she really is so that she can take control of her future. Now that it’s time to head to the ocean floor, I guess Eri’s clubmates are still out cold so they can’t go. Yeah, they even took in Risako’s hot babes. So many naked women on this ship! Damn, the guys must be really guy because their resistance game is strong! Anyway, Aika now manages to pilot the mini sub as Eri and Karen join her as they submerge deeper towards the ocean floor.

Episode 3
There are runway airport lights down there? I understand if this is some submerged city but the lights are still working?! Anyway, Karen knows where to go. Just follow the green lights! This leads them to the lowest level. A huge warehouse-like area. Aika tries to be careful but Eri and Karen are like touching and activating things on their own. Gee, the lights and electronics of this place are still working so well? Aika is shocked that Eri knows he way around because all of it was described on Karen’s map. Sure, that doesn’t mean she’s a pro since this is her first time down here! With Aika arguing with her for the details, better catch up with Karen or she’ll leave you behind. Then they talk about some legend about a meteor carrying alien life form crashing onto Earth. The life form implanted themselves into humans and as a result, infected ones became very intellectual but regressed in the physical areas. Arriving at a huge door, they notice the pattern similar as the mind control devices of those girls’ asses. So if you have forgotten that sleeping butterfly key, here it is. Karen lets Eri tranquilize her and once she is undressed, she is placed in a chamber in which the scanner scans her entire naked body. Since it is a perfect match, the door opens. Great. An even bigger place with many pods. Nothing like checking out the convenient computer next to it. So I guess this is where that alien life form comes into the picture. They discover clone cells and that this place is researching those intellectual alien cells in hopes of cultivating them so that humans could be able to develop. Hooray! Your discovery of the century! Then they gets spooked when Karen suddenly pops up before them. Not just 1 Karen but many Karens! Yeah, they’re all clones. I suppose they’re not the friendly kind as they start attacking. Aika goes into action knocking them out. Finally a really huge Karen! Titan Karen?! I don’t think it is affective trying to fight it but at least something has to be done. Aika gets knocked out and before she could be squished, the real Karen wakes up and ‘communicates’ with it. With the clones backing down, Karen learns the shocking truth that she is also a clone and ‘born’ here. I guess there’s nothing left to discover and it’s time to head back home. After they leave, the clones return to their slumber. Finally all the runway lights are turned off. Back on the ship, Karen is sad that her memories weren’t real. Aika and Eri cheer her up that they can make new memories together. Lots of them.

Aika Zero

Episode 1
We see a girl stumbling upon an alien ship underground. Then she gets tentacle raped! Tentacles in the form of light beams?! A year later, we see a group of girls being ushered into a chapel and then being groped by girls in white. Is this chapel just a façade for some lesbian club? After liking their boobs, thighs and asses, that tentacle beam then infiltrates their asses!!! I can see why nobody can stay awake after that. Then they hear a plane hovering over. It is Aika piloting it but something hit her. Luckily she manages to land without any trouble. That dent on the body, I suppose a bird can’t make that, right? Meanwhile the army tasks some officer (Hagen?!) to investigate some UFO hitting a civilian plane. Aika is reunited with Eri, Karen and Risako. It seems Eri has once more hired Aika for another case. This time the case of disappearing high school girls. It started a year ago and it has claimed its 30th victim. Although the girls are returned, they lose their memories. Part of the plan is for Aika to wear their uniform and infiltrate. Upon entering, those girls in white start their usual lesbian stuff. Aika runs away but not before she drops that eraser that serves as a mini surveillance bug. However soon after, it stops functioning. Don’t tell me Aika has to go back and get molested again?! We’ll think of something… As Aika and Karen walk by, a group of drama girls suddenly attack them. Nothing like a few good chops to put them out, eh? And then entering the chapel again, the girls in white attack but still no match for Aika. If you’re wondering why Karen has been examining their asses, oh look, here’s a strange mark! It seems all the girls have this mark near their ass. Even more so those in white. They are White Knights, supposedly the student council body. Aika goes deeper into the chapel to find the missing girls all hanging upside down! Is this some sort of exhibition? She comes face to face with the student council president and ring leader, Miyu Shiratori. This time Aika can’t defeat her tentacle beams and is in danger of being raped too but luckily Captain snipes! So those aren’t lights? In great timing, Risako jumps in and rescues Aika. Then she throws the eraser thingy which also has a mini self-destruct mode to distract Miyu. Best coordination ever as Risako jumps out and hangs on the helicopter piloted by Gouzo.

Episode 2
Aika wakes up fine in hospital. No serious physical damage. But maybe internally because she isn’t going to sleep and wakes up and strips! In the presence of Gouzo?! I guess to show that she’s still kicking. WTF?! Flashback shows Miyu first stumbled upon that light in the library that soon led her to that underground ship. After she got controlled, she started toppling top students in athletics and academics. Then she gathered them and a few more students to form the White Knights as the student council. It seems Miyu is doing this all for the real mastermind behind this, E.T.A.I. Sure they didn’t misspell H.E.N.T.A.I.? Anyway that ass sucking thingy is so that E.T.A.I. can suck whatever nutrients for whatever. Because the military is also in this, damn they prop up Aika’s plane with machine gun?! They also lend a few cool equipment?! What kind of military is this?! As Aika takes the plane for a spin, then something hits her. Luckily she manages to control and emergency land at a broken road near the cliff! Phew. So precise. At the same time, Karen infiltrates the chapel but it seems everything has been moved out clean. Yup, even Captain’s sniper marks are gone. Of course the next logic is to check if there is any underground passages. Meanwhile the tentacle beam is now targeting naked girls in the shower. Yup, there’s a hole that leads to their base and Aika just in the nick of time saw the last girl being dragged down this hidden hole. Time to get to the bottom of this. So she brought a sub-machine gun as her only preparation? Whatever. Of course she is being attacked by White Knights but nothing like a few kung fu chops would knock them out. Meanwhile Karen is also attacked by a White Knight but luckily Risako is here to assist. After despatching her, they then discover the secret passageway underground. Aika stumbles upon the huge alien ship. But first she has to tackle Miyu and her subordinates. Unfortunately E.T.A.I. got her from behind. And surprise butt secks!!!!!

Episode 3
Oh! Aika can resist the behind infiltration?! What’s this about her being Zero? Hence E.T.A.I. enforces a more direct infiltration! This is going to hurt! But wait! It backfires! It burns her tentacles! I guess they’re not messing with her anymore. Letting the goons handle her, Miyu and E.T.A.I. go to start up the mother ship. So it has enough juice now? E.T.A.I. explains about Aika being Zero. A similar extra-terrestrial organism like them but it is not their ally but enemy because of its twisted evolution. Whatever. After despatching the subordinates, Aika meets up with Karen’s side. How to get this door open? Use the ass! Is that what the mark is for?! They see all the unconscious kidnapped girls. Mission over once they’re rescued, right? Well, not if the ship is starting to launch right now! As Aika makes haste to the surface, she is stopped by Miyu and E.T.A.I. She fights them and this ridiculous part, when Miyu fires a beam at her, Aika grabs and throws it back to her. However E.T.A.I. protects Miyu and gets the returned beam struck right into her ass!!!! THIS GOTTA HURT LIKE HELL!!!! I don’t know if E.T.A.I. is dead but Aika is now free to ride her plane (all readied by Gouzo) to take to the skies and stop the mother ship. She empties her bullets on a single thruster and this is enough to make it change its trajectory???!!! Better still, F-15 reinforcements are here. About 20 of them!!! Fire away!!! Wow. Gotta be dumbfounded how human missile technology could really take down an entire huge spaceship!!! Oh no! Is it going to crash onto the school below?! Don’t worry. It explodes in the air. Phew. And to complete the good news, Aika returns to her gang waiting down below. Meanwhile Nena who is a student at this academy, secures Miyu and E.T.A.I. She reports to her brother who has also finished his successful military operation.

God Bless Dat Masses Of Asses!
Oh well, what a mess. But did you enjoy all that? Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks to all the fanservice, I guess that is why the OVAs are decent. Oh wait. Is that supposed to be indecent? But it makes viewing tolerable in otherwise would be an utterly boring story that doesn’t make sense and characters whom you’ll never care. Thank goodness for the fanservice, huh? Yeah. Aika and co might have somewhat saved the world but the fanservice saved our viewing! It was all worth it…

So yeah, despite the overwhelming fanservice that this series is pretty (in)famous for, sometimes you wonder if they are really overdoing it. I mean, really, really, really, overdoing it. Ass shots and crotch shots make up predominantly the fanservice of this series. It is like for everything these characters do, they usually end up in a way that bares their ass or crotch in our faces. So much so that it is ridiculous to see that whenever a female enemy gets knocked out (which is pretty much easy to do), they don’t usually fall flat on their back or stomach but will get knocked out with their knees upright so that their ass can be so obviously visible. And if they don’t get this treatment but get knocked out cold on their backs or stomach, they’re spreading their thighs as wide as they can so you could see better the delicious parts. Basically almost everything and anything the characters do is to justify the means of fanservice. Is this what you call the means justifying the ends? That is why all the females need to do their high kicks or kung fu kicks whenever they get into a fight. That is why all the girls need to wear mini skirts so short that they’re not wearing any of them at all! It seems in this universe, mini skirts are the only normal clothes that these girls can wear for all occasions. Even more mind boggling when unconscious girls who are rescued instead of putting them lie flat on their back, they are put on their stomachs on something like as though they are futons being hung out to dry! The ultimate ass display! Like, WTF?!

And somehow even though we get all those delicious ass shots and crotch shots, nothing says great uniformity when all the characters wear the same plain white panties!!! Sure, sometimes a few characters wear different lingerie like Nena who feels like a porn star in waiting when she first debut. My guess is that having plain white pantsu is easier to animate and think about how much work the animators will have to do just so that we could have different colours and design! But I’m sure they could because the power of boners would give them the motivation. But that would be another unrelated story. So I guess we have to be grateful. We got our fanservice wish. Spammed a whole lot of them. Included certain scenes of characters with bare tits. Don’t be a spoilt brat and wish for more. Don’t be that jerk who gets an inch but wants a mile.

Having said all that, the story is secondary and at most so mediocre that it doesn’t make sense. There are also so many gaps, holes and parts that are unexplained that sometimes maybe the producers want us to fill in the blanks ourselves. This is mostly in the newer Aika where some issues were never resolved like Karen and her clones. So why is that underwater base still running those clones? What about that mysterious employer who is trying to stop Karen? Never explained anywhere in the series but my guess is that he is the scientist who did the cloning based on the image of his deceased daughter or something. So Karen is then allowed to live freely? I guess with Risako and Captain watching, no biggies.

Then in Aika Zero, why does the alien ship need the nutrients of sexy young high school girls to fuel it? I believe it is never explained and even if it was, I guess we were paying attention to the fanservice more than anything else. But I’m pretty sure all this wasn’t explained at all. And how the f*ck did a freaking huge alien mother ship crashed beneath a school?! Without any traces whatsoever! Don’t tell me it was aeons ago and because high school girls weren’t invented yet, I guess they had to wait till today to suck out their sexiness. Told you the stories and conspiracy theories are dumb. Told you that you’d be better off focusing on the fanservice.

The original Aika’s story wasn’t as mind boggling as the newer one but even though it is simple, it is still cheesy. Because it never explained about that Ultranate thingy that possessed Aika or how she got her hands on it. But considering how it is hinted in Aika Zero that Aika could be an alien life form herself, that could be the link but still, that is just superficial and nothing conclusive. I guess many shows from the past needs us to use our grey matter to think rather than nowadays to be spoon fed and told just about everything. Sighs…

Character wise, there’s nothing much to be said except I thought the newer Aika was supposed to be a reboot or something but after finishing watching this series and doing a little read up, I only found out that they are actually the same Aika and not different alternate timelines. Which feels pretty odd because it felt like it missed out that great disaster thingy that supposedly Aika and Gouzo caught up in. But that could be somewhere in between the 10 year span of Aika’s character. Anyway, both Aika feel like totally different characters with the older Aika feeling somewhat mellow, cool and quite the grown up she is unlike the high school and university teen version who is so, uhm, like a teenager. It’s mind boggling to see who Aika transition to that kind of character. I guess all the dangerous missions has made her wise, huh? No wonder she is the best agent around then.

This strange continuity also affects this Gust character because if he was such a rich playboy in the original Aika, then why the f*ck was he some sort of butler serving Eri’s classmates in the newer Aika? I mean, even if he is a rich kid trying to get some experience, doing this kind of job? This boy? Just totally weird. He is supposed to be the hero hunk for adult Aika but I guess he didn’t do anything much. I guess that’s why as a butler kid he serves as a mini comic relief in some ways.

Then you have Rion and Eri as the overly excited characters because passion drives them. If Aika is too serious, then I suppose these jokers will do. Karen is the weird girl of the series because she does unconventional things that makes you question why she does so but she does have her logic. I mean, like she’s not a pervert when she’s checking those asses out, right?! Many of the other characters are just forgettable like Maypia you wonder why she is in this series in the first place and her character is a whole lot unnecessary except to serve as plot convenience. Yeah, she’s a super spy but that doesn’t mean she’s a good one. Then you have Michikusa who sounds like a retard with his slow talk and he becomes Rion’s punching bag whenever she doesn’t like his truthful and honest comments. Also, they need some sort of gay character because this guy likes to dress up as girls especially when they infiltrate Delmo’s base, he doesn’t hesitate to put on their uniform and even ask if he looks good in them. Sheesh.

And the antagonists are also big fails. Just because they are the bad guys, they are doomed to follow the script to lose. Like Hagen and Nena in the original Aika, their goal to destroy humanity could have been written and fleshed out better but instead Hagen looks like some girly playboy who wants a harem in his aftermath utopia. Because of his great girly looks that’s why there is a mind boggling amount of ladies who have no qualms working under him. I wonder if he has a no male policy too. And Nena turned into one jealous b*tch who is just out for Aika’s blood just because she got Hagen’s heart. And she can’t kill her onii-sama because he loves him too much so the only thing she can do is take it out on Aika. Which she always fails. Good riddance the siblings are forever together now, huh? Literally.

And the Delmo girls literally have no life after Hagen’s death and it’s like they blame it all on Aika. Uh huh. Their only purpose is to serve Hagen and if you think about it, what happens if they do actually succeed in killing Aika? Are they going to kill themselves? Yeah, didn’t think that far, huh? See, they’re doing just fine after getting their ass kicked so many times and Commander just gave them a simple withdrawal order. SO EASY! If I was one of the Delmo girls, I would be wondering what the heck the suffering we all just went through and would’ve now targeted her and kicked her ass! Ironically they have the best facilities all over and yet they fail to capitalize them… And yeah, this reminds me of how old I am and how much times have changed: The diskette!!! Oh yeah, that was really the thing that would have broken Aika. But thankfully no internet yet. Phew!

And it goes without saying in the newer Aika, Miyu and E.T.A.I. continue to fail as baddies. Somebody just thought that zapping beams to control the spinal cord would be sexy if done via the ass. And only girls with hot bodies will do as fuel. Yeah, do you not notice there are no fat and ugly girls at this school? And they would have gotten with it if not for that meddling Aika! Thankfully their fates are not left in limbo because in the credits we see them working under Hagen and Nena. But since they didn’t appear in the original, your guess is as good as mine what actually happened to them. I also wonder if all the alien ass zapping moments on those innocent girls is what drove Hagen to have an all-female crew. Sure, he didn’t see those rape moments but I’m guessing from the interrogation that he must have found out something of this likes.

The action bits are totally dumbfounding and like I’ve said before, they are just steps to provide the much needed fanservice. I know it is good that fights don’t last and span several episodes but it makes you wonder if these girls who are supposed to be trained in the first place are really trained. Because one good chop to the back of the neck is usually how Aika finishes them off and they’ll be out for a long time. And all those flash kicks are just for show, huh? And I swear that gravity and the law of physics don’t truly exist here. Our girls can jump so high and with ease doing their somersaults like as though gravity is in cohorts with the fanservice god so that they could show their pantsu. You also don’t have to worry about the girls using guns. They’re mostly tranquilizers. Don’t want to damage the nice skin, eh? Yeah, this is also how a lot of the girls are being taken out.

Art and animation feel pretty okay. At least the difference in animation style shows the gap and era of when both the series was made. Original Aika was so retro that it’s, uhm, so retro. And the newer Aika is so 2000’s that it’s so, uhm, 2000’s. Sure, some characters do undergo a different look especially I noticed Hagen looking very different in both series. Sort of. Because in the newer Aika, Hagen spots this bishonen look. Then if you look back at the original Aika, damn this guy has a girly face!!! WTF?! What happened?! Then Bandora… I don’t know if this person is actually a combination of a man, woman and cyborg. Punk Mohawk hairstyle surely makes me think he is a guy but she sounds a lot like an old woman. And those visors made me think she is some cybernetic enhancement or something. I thought the newer Aika was made by a different studio but apparently it is also the same studio who made the original one, Studio Fantasia (Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien, Stratos 4, Soukou No Strain). Wow, talk about a change in art and animation style in just a decade.

I wasn’t going to bother doing the voice acting but I guess I have to because MAMIKO NOTO IS THE VOICE OF KAREN!!! In a time when I am still reeling from her characters that have been killed off, in a time when my favourite and best seiyuu has been relegated to make cameo appearances or take on motherly roles, this is somewhat a great relief to get to hear her voicing a character that fits her voice type so perfectly. The other seiyuus I recognized are Ami Koshimizu as the newer Aika and Miyuki Sawashiro as E.T.A.I. And I didn’t realize it was Yuko Goto behind Miyu’s voice and I believe at that time she didn’t sounded like her trademark Asahina from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu that perhaps got me stereotyped her voice as that dreamy ghost-like voice. Yeah… Also, I thought Rie sounded familiar. Couldn’t put my finger on it till I finished watching this show. Ikue Ohtani voiced her. You don’t know who that is? Pika! Pika! Chopper!!! Yup, that’s her. It’s so shocking to hear her other than a yellow electric mouse and a reindeer tanuki.

First opening theme is the rock based Silent City by Mari Sasaki with More Natural by Hiroko Konishi as the disco-like ending theme. Then we also have another retro rock style Manatsu No Seiza by Mink as the second opener while Dance With Me Tonight by Punky Fruites as the second one. Personally I like Dance With Me Tonight since it has that funky disco beat and it sure brings back some 70’s music nostalgia. For the newer Aika, Ami Koshimizu sings all the themes. With the spy-like Sailing To The Future as the opener for Virgin Mission and anime rock Flying Kid for Aika Zero. More rock based music as Rise and Dream Hunter are their ending themes respectively.

I want to believe that perhaps it is because of the lacking story and shallow characters the reason why this never got adapted 10 years later. The original Aika made its debut in 1997 before a full 10 years passed then we got an updated Aika that probably nobody asked for. Hence people then might have wised up and wanted something more than just crotch shots and ass shots and their tastes ‘refined’ into better hentai and fapping material. But I digress. We’re just primitives when it comes to such carnal desires. It’s just natural. It’s just in our genes.

All in all, don’t hope much if you want to watch this series. After all, the reason that one may stumble upon this old series is because you’re feeling a bit naughty but not horny enough to go watch real porn! This series is as silly and shallow as one would have imagined but it’s all worthwhile because the story and characters that could have been better written were sacrificed for all the fanservice of ass shots and crotch shots. Well, you can’t have everything. So I hope no Japanese director sees this blog of mine and realize the idea of the need to reboot Aika! Gee, will Aika get younger in the next instalment? Sorry, not a lolicon! Just stick to the basic formula and you can’t go wrong. Boy, you wished Lagu would cleanse the world of perversion right now, no?

I want to play a game. However this isn’t some typical game show whereby you spin the wheel and guess letters of a sentence to figure out the word and earn big bucks in the process. This isn’t also some reality TV series like Survivor where you just get voted off. Nakanohito Genome [Jikkyouchuu] is a game whereby participants are mysteriously whisked away to a strange place and forced to play various games along with other participants if they are to return to their ordinary lives. The catch? They can die here for real if they are not too careful or fail! Gasp! What kind of game show would risk the lives of their participants?! Oh well. You do know the dog eat dog world of showbiz, right? It’s going to attract a lot of viewers so what’s a little risk, no? Like they say, no pain, no gain.

Episode 1
A few lucky people have been chosen to participate in Let’s Play game called Nakanohito Genome. Among them is Akatsuki Iride as the next thing he knows, he finds himself in a jungle along with Karin Sarayashiki. They have to run for it because a giant panda is coming their way. Kaikoku Onigasaki tells them to take out their eyes and it is easy. However Akatsuki climbs a tree and tries to befriend the panda. It worked! With this stage cleared, the host, Paka congratulates them for such an unusual solution. He lets them know a counter on their left arm known as the epidermal counter. The number represents the view count in real time. Their goal is to make that counter reach 100 million during this live stream. Paka has everyone introduce each other. All are well known streamers who are good in their respective filed like Akatsuki in escape games, Karin in horror games and Kaikoku in Japanese style and Sengoku games. The rest include Himiko Inaba (nurturing games), Anya Kudou (fighting games), Yuzu Roromori (puzzle games), Zakuro Oshigiri (stealth games) and Makino Aikawa (dating sim games). As Anya is uncooperative and wants out, Paka warns him those who are stubborn will be placed in some white room while their comrades go about achieving the goal. That person will wait and wait, not knowing any updates of the progress until he/she dies waiting… Also, death is real here. No resets or save points. In the next Ouija game, Akatsuki, Karin, Anya and Zakuro are selected. They do what the spirits ask like give water. Akatsuki volunteers to be the spirit’s friend. It gets weird when Akatsuki is suddenly pulled from behind and out of the window. Luckily the giant panda broke his fall. Akatsuki then points out somebody in the room. It’s that spirit. Now that she is visible, she thanks him for the water and wonders if he could still be her friend. Akatsuki agrees. But the spirit wants him to burn and die with her. She feels sad that he won’t and will soon be forgotten. Akatsuki confirms he wants to be her friend but cannot go with her now. Once everything is over then he will. You can count on it because he never breaks his promises. With the spirit at ease, the stage is cleared. Their viewership has risen to over 83,000 views.

Episode 2
Paka informs of floating cameras called Pakamera everywhere so that everyone will be able to view live their exploits. They can use the facilities in the city and tower as they wish but do not step into the 51st floor ever. Violators will be persecuted. In this next stage, they have to nurture an egg, raise her and make her get along well with a handsome teacher, Hikaru Genji. At least 4 people are needed for this stage so naturally simulation specialists, Himiko and Makino are in. Akatsuki volunteers and oddly Anya takes this one? With Himiko being serious in raising a character, we see them all hugging around the egg waiting for it to hatch. And the moment it hatches, woah, what this monstrosity?! Folks, meet Murasaki. She is the culmination of their thoughts. Panda face (Akatsuki) with afro (Makino) in a sailor high school uniform (Anya). As the quartet do their best to raise their ‘daughter’, meanwhile we see Yuzu and Karin taking a bath together. Yuzu trolling Karin of lesbianism and even hinting she is not a girl! But this proves that viewership is also evident outside play areas because their view counter just risen a lot! I think bath scenes are going to be a hit… Back to the panda nurturing game, now Murasaki has been enrolled in an all-girls’ high school. Genji is a very popular man among the girls so it is going to be tough. But one day Akatsuki and Makino investigate further into Genji and see him throwing away all the presents the girls gave him as he complains they should have given him better presents like wine. WTF?! Then when Murasaki comes in to give her cookies, after putting up a fake charade, he tramples on her cookies and as usual starts complaining. Murasaki catches him in the act but before he could do something about it, Makino hits him out with a bottle. Murasaki makes cupcakes for everyone while explaining how nice Genji is as a person. Cue that this stage is about to be cleared because damn, this scene of Murasaki disappearing like as though she’s been exorcised?! One last big hug from her ‘parents’. With the stage cleared, their viewership sharply rises to 3.5 million views. We see a secret behind Yuzu’s secret cabinet: Lots of posters on Akatsuki. This girl worships him?

Episode 3
Kaikoku and Zakuro report to the rest. While they were in the previous game, they did some exploring and research. This entire city is like a ghost town. There is nobody else but them. They also explored the 51st floor but the moment Paka showed up, they ran for it. But looks like now he is back to attack them. Due to this violation, he has mimicry man eating plants attacking the place and the entire is lockdown. They must defeat this monster to clear this extremely hard level. Akatsuki almost got devoured by one that mimicked Karin. But when the sun sets, it becomes inactive and even shrinks during night fall. The gang take refuge at the cellar’s storage room. Akatsuki learns Anya has some sort of sleeping problem due to his family’s inherited sleeping disorder. Kaikoku follows Yuzu to her room to take poison ampules that could literally kill the monster. He sees the posters but she hopes he can keep it a secret. They test the poison on the plants and it works like a charm. Yuzu then proposes some password test so that they could differentiate friend from foe. The guys are tasked to follow the roots and pinpoint the core. It leads them to 2 Makinos. Trying to figure out which is the real one, turns out both are imposters! That night, Karin needs to go to the toilet. So why wake up Akatsuki to accompany her? I know Yuzu might be a little cuckoo but shouldn’t she try Himiko? As Akatsuki waits, he too feels the need to use the toilet. But doing so, Yuzu approaches him and attacks him with a hammer! Though missed, Yuzu is very certain this Akatsuki is an imposter. She knows the real one is ambidextrous and this imposter used the wrong hand to protect himself! This imposter must be an intelligent and high level monster to be able to move around at night. Yuzu prides herself in observing Akatsuki her entire life. Actually she doesn’t care if he dies because she wants to dissect him and see what he is made of. He is also the reason why her research of him can never be incomplete. She is in a dilemma to kill this imposter but the moment it shows its fangs, she stabs the poison into him. The next day, Akatsuki doesn’t know why but Yuzu is clinging onto him, feeling a bit guilty but glad that he is okay. The stage is cleared and they gained 7.2 million viewers.

Episode 4
Akatsuki and Anya are fighting because the former tried to give him some sleeping pills he asked from Paka but the latter would not accept it and punched him. Kaikoku and Zakuro continue their investigation. Definitely the city is dead. The utensils are new but there is dust all over. Zakuro doesn’t want him to be reckless again and give them trouble. Because he is here for a reason and won’t quit till he achieves it. His goal is to find his lost twin sister. Paka leads the gang through a village holding some festivities. Because demons will come out to abduct their maidens, to clear the stage they must stop this and rescue all abducted maidens. Destroying all demons will give a true ending but it will be impossible for their level since the demons are on cheat code. The gang is further explained by the village elder, Kihachi and his granddaughter, Kikka. They argue about who should participate in this game (as usual, Akatsuki always volunteers) but the question in who should cross-dress as a maiden to bait the demon. Other than Akatsuki, Makino is selected since his eyes have this strange charm on others regardless of gender. As they wait for the demon to show up, turns out that Kihachi and Kikka are the demons themselves. All travellers who walk in will become their sacrifice. Kihachi doesn’t want those cross-dressing guys so Kikka picks out Karin. She wants to pick another one but Kihachi points out the dungeon is full and if they have to pick another, they must get rid of one. This is when Akatsuki volunteers himself on grounds he can get rid of him if he doesn’t like it. Also, he is doing it for Karin so she won’t be alone. Anya is very upset about this. He remembers Akatsuki talking to him about his bad physical stamina. If Anya collapsed, Akatsuki will not be able to carry him to safety. He wants to clear game this with everyone. I’m sure that struck something inside that hot tempered guy. But don’t despair. Yuzu has stuck a transmitter on Akatsuki and they can track him down.

Episode 5
Kaikoku and Zakuro are chosen to track down Akatsuki and Karen. Zakuro reminds their mission is to bring the duo back alive and not to engage any demons. Kaikoku wonders why he is telling him all this especially about his twin sister. Because the rest are earnestly playing the game and Kaikoku isn’t, it means he is most determined in getting home. The duo reach the base and stumble into Akatsuki. Somehow he managed to squeeze out of his cage. He takes them to see a bird’s eye view of the room. Kikka has turned Karin and the other prisoners into dolls so she can play them in this life sized dollhouse. They split up to find where the other girls are held. Lucky Akatsuki finds them and from the hints they say, the key to the door must be in Kikka’s room. But as he goes get them, he gets knocked out by Kihachi. Grandpa is ready to kill this kid but Paka warns him not to as he is indispensable. Doing so is equivalent to breaking the game system and if he insists, as the admin of this game he will have to reset everything. Does he not want to stay a little longer with his granddaughter? Kihachi gives in. Akatsuki believes Paka has always been alone here and hopes they can escape this place together. But Paka declines. He can’t leave because of a promise. Zakuro is in panic. He finds a tag containing his sister’s name, Sakura. It is revealed she played a beta version of Nakanohito 2 years ago and disappeared. Desperate to look for her, the only way Zakuro was ever going to trace her was to play this game himself. Meeting up with the rest, Zakuro wants the rest to leave first while he settles some unfinished business. He asks Kikka about a girl who looks like him that came here 2 years ago. She taunts him that she might have gotten rid of her. This makes Zakuro mad as he is ready to slash her but is stopped by Kaikoku. Cool his head and leave with the rest, he’ll handle things from here. Kikka was just toying with Zakuro because of his serious face as she can’t remember all her dolls. She calls grandpa to crush Kaikoku but he didn’t respond. Seems Kihachi treasures his time with her so he isn’t going to lift a finger. This leaves Kikka devastated so Kaikoku tells her not to be so selfish. Kikka can’t understand because no grandparents would hate their grandkids but Kaikoku begs to differ. Kikka might have the last laugh since she can tell Kaikoku’s family hates him. That’s why he envies her who is loved by grandpa. Kaikoku just leaves. Together they return and clear this mission. 18.7 million views now, huh?

Episode 6
Paka takes them to a desert tomb. This stage is relatively easy but only 2 can participate and must be a boy and a girl. The pair must head in and retrieve some chromosome but be warned. The only thing you can’t do is lie. Himiko and Anya are chosen from the lot. Akatsuki would have wanted to go but he broke his bones from the last time and is forced to sit out. There goes his perfect attendance record… Anya and Himiko don’t really get along well. Especially when Himiko starts asking some questions, he lies to get her off his back. Then the lights go out. Then mummies attack! Is this what happens when you lie? Eventually they fall down a chasm. We see Anya’s dream of why he cherished his helmet so much. It belonged to his eldest brother and he was killed in a motor accident. When they wake up, before them is an alpaca statue who is going to ask them 3 questions. Because Anya is short tempered and getting violent with it, the statue threatens to squash them with the ceiling. The first question relates to memories. Who was your first love. Anya has none while Himiko took a while to confess about some kid who lived across the street. Meanwhile Zakuro confronts Paka. If it is about his sister, Paka already told him he knows nothing. Zakuro wants to know what he did to Yuzu but Paka warns him about the white room. It isn’t only for those who aren’t uncooperative but who will disrupt the game balance. Don’t worry. The leading potential is Kaikoku. Zakuro wanted to attack Paka but luckily Makino brings him away. Back to the Sphinx’s question, the second question has them reveal 5 great qualities of this form this slime has taken shape. Since both of them see Akatsuki, while Himiko is quick to say them all, it took a while for Anya to drag it out from his mouth. The final confessional question has them say the greatest sin they have committed. Outside, Yuzu is ‘comforting’ Akatsuki who is worried the duo haven’t come back yet. He wonders if he should have gone in instead but Yuzu knows this game will definitely not be suitable for him. Speaking of the devil, Anya and Himiko have come out and cleared this stage. 25 million views now, huh? I am guessing because Himiko’s answer to the third question was she killed her older brother?

Episode 7
Anya and Himiko are arguing because the latter wants to keep this slime! Punitsuki?! Anya remembers Himiko explaining about killing her brother. She can’t remember her brother’s face as he put her up for adoption when she was young. This was to protect her. Soon after that he went missing. Legally if a person is missing for more than 7 years, that person is officially declared dead. Hence Himiko felt that is how she ‘killed’ her brother. Damn technicalities. Today’s game will be hide and seek. Not just your ordinary hide and seek but they’ll hide from these 3 lovely ghost ladies. Folks, meet Misery, Isabella and Carrie. The play area will be their dorm level. Every 15 minutes, the ghosts will come looking for them and they’ll play this for an hour. If the ghost comes into your hiding and finds you, that’s strike one, you’ll lose your vision. The second strike means your eyeballs will be gorged out! To clear this stage, all of them must not be cursed at the end of the game. Due to this difficulty, those who are cursed can be ‘rescued’ if being touched by those not cursed. In the first round, all the girls hiding in the same room got cursed. Also, Kaikoku and Zakuro. Losing sight means having an irremovable blindfold over your face… Akatsuki and Anya come to heal them. In the second round, Kaikoku is hiding in Yuzu’s room. He sees her secret Akatsuki worshipping area but what caught his eye is about some data on the users of this game. Akatsuki and Anya are already cursed once and it is a miracle they managed to hide from the ghost despite Akatsuki sneezing. I guess the ghost wasn’t thorough enough. For the third round, it seems all of them got cursed! Who is going to save them! Makino! He was sleeping in his room all along and somehow fell and stuck between the bed and well. Damn I tell you the ghosts aren’t even thorough! So thank goodness. In the final round, all of them hide in the same room. Akatsuki is confident the ghosts will no look in here. And in the end, all of them cleared this stage and viewership is no at 36 million.

Episode 8
Kaikoku goes through the data on each of them he found in Yuzu’s room. He notes that Yuzu and Akatsuki’s data are the only ones unavailable. With the players having their rest day, Paka suggests trying out the open bath. Akatsuki is bugging everyone to go but looks like this is on hold as they see Kaikoku having a serious talk with Yuzu. Why are they assigning colours to everybody? Curious Akatsuki asks. It’s the colour of their underwear! WTF?! The guys head to the open bath first. OMG. Paka bathing in his suit?! Will this contaminate the water? Because Akatsuki is the only one who will soak in with him, Paka tells a secret. No it’s not his weakness or how to clear this game. They are right next to the girl’s bath! As Paka leaves, he decides to play a prank. He switches the gender signs outside. So when the girls are heard coming in, the guys go into hiding behind the big rock. Then they hear Yuzu molesting Karin in the most ambiguous yuri way. With all the Pakamera lining up, Karin throws a single bucket and strikes all of them out! Woah! What kind of special move is that?! Now the guys are scared. They fear they will meet the same fate if Karin finds out so they discuss for a way to get out alive. Then they ponder some reverse psychology. The guys were here first and since the girls came in later, it’s like the girls were peeking on the guys so it’s not their fault, right? Yeah, try to make it look like an accident. The problem now is who goes first, second, etc. Since they’re arguing over it, Karin busts them. Time to run like hell! It gets even worse when Karin’s towel drops. Somehow this increases her special power. And so we have a bloodied bath and it ends with Himiko dropping her flash grenades. This is surely raking in the views. In the aftermath, Kaikoku continues to look at the data. He looks at his own and sees a note that grandpa is in critical condition. Immediately he takes the elevator to the top. Next morning, Zakuro informs the rest that Kaikoku is nowhere to be found. Indeed. It seems he is now in the white room. Viewership only at 41.8 million? Man, I thought this would have doubled and blast through 80 million!

Episode 9
It seems Kaikoku is accusing Paka of doing something to his grandpa but Paka maintains he did nothing. When Paka goes to see the other players, they aren’t pleased that their friend has been sent to the white room. Even Akatsuki is calling for a strike and won’t play the next game unless all of them are together. Wow. Paka panicking that his best player won’t play? Yuzu suggests calling off the games for the moment. Soon, Paka has everyone gathered. They are given a chance to rescue him within 72 hours. To find the 6 digit combination to enter the white room, the hint is in this 30,000 jigsaw pieces! Paka hints to Yuzu that he is doing this puzzle to remind her of her place. Yuzu being the puzzle expert relays some hints on how they can go about this like they don’t need to put together everything in order to figure out the final answer. Meanwhile Kaikoku finds a lose tile in the bathroom. It seems there is a path headed underground. As he crawls out, he stumbles into Nanami Omejima and Chihiro “Hiro” Akafuda. On pretence to make friends, Nanami tasers him out. When he wakes up, he thought he saw a female version of Zakuro. It’s Sakura! Nanami explains that they are the only people who are now underground and they are from different game editions. They might sound different but it is actually the same place and the name is updated when different people play. Nanami has been stuck here for 4 years. This place is a deserted island and from time to time, there will be helicopters bringing in the supplies. Paka makes sure they all don’t see this. Hiro panics when Sakura goes missing. Kaikoku easily finds her rummaging some stuffs so she explains her being ‘missing’ happens very often. I think Kaikoku realizes a weird love triangle going on here. Hiro -> Sakura -> Nanami. Then going through some watery parts of the underground, she mentions about some mermaid ghost. Oh, is it popping up now? Meanwhile Yuzu is under extreme stress. Based on her experience she knows this puzzle cannot be completed within the timeframe. Until Karin snaps her out from her nail biting habit. She promises to do anything she asks for so in the meantime, please hang in there. Yuzu then starts to realize something. Lots of complicated equations! Damn f*cking equations to get to the answer!!! Looks like Yuzu’s back in the groove.

Episode 10
That mermaid… Turns out to be a giant goldfish! It gets hostile but thanks to Nanami shooting at it, it backs off. Nanami recognizes creature as it was a target in one of their games then. Yuzu explains the Luhn algorithm on how to derive an answer from seemingly random numbers. In short, I don’t get it! She tells the rest to get some rest while she works on it herself. Kaikoku and the rest return to their hideout. Nanami offering Kaikoku to join them in case this is a ruse by Paka to capture them all in one fell swoop. Gee, Paka must be patient to recapture them in one go instead of one by one. Anyway, Kaikoku declines as this kind of team play isn’t his style. Though he agrees to exchange info. The strain has Yuzu collapsed. As Karin goes to get help from the rest, Paka seems to help solve a little of the puzzle and drops the important puzzle piece. This is to make her owe him one and to remember her place as his subordinate. The puzzle to the white room is solved and the rest head in. Hiro calls out to Kaikoku as there are people calling his name. Is there any merit that Nanami is trying to pretend to be Kaikoku and not letting the rest know that there are others? Anyway, Zakuro explains how Yuzu tackled this hard puzzle so hard for him that she passed out. That’s why he wants him to come back with them. Sakura then has Kaikoku promise not to reveal about her. Imagine the flood of emotions her brother will have. After the rest goes back into hiding, Kaikoku only opens the door, much to his friends’ delight. He apologizes to them for making them worry and heads home with them. Later he visits Yuzu in the infirmary and wants to know about the documents on the players he found in her room. Yuzu admits she is this game’s record keeper and on Paka’s side. Her job is to pass info to Paka and serves like a monitor inside the game. She took on this role out of curiosity but now feels she doesn’t want the game to continue on like that. Kaikoku doesn’t care for all that and only wants to know if she is friend or foe. Take your time with your answer but until then, he calls for a truce.

Episode 11
Paka trolling everyone by being afraid of them because they hate him?! Anyway, with the viewership reaching halfway point of 50 million, it’s time for the next game. In this VR game, looks like Kaikoku, Yuzu, Himiko and Makino are turned into little kids. The rest must nurture them until the plant on their head blossom. To clear the game, 3 of them must bloom. Otherwise they will be stuck as kids forever. Anya, try to be nice, okay? So we see them take care of the kids that make it look so easy. Heck, Kaikoku wants to go bath with the girls and Karin allows it because he is a kid and not the current Kaikoku?! Whatever. In the end, Kaikoku, Yuzu and Himiko bloom and the stage is cleared. However noticing that Makino has not even bloomed an inch, Paka again gives some leeway to get them clear the game before tomorrow morning. Don’t want to risk another boycott, eh? No matter how much they do fin things with him, his plant will not grow. We see Makino’s trauma. His parents are always fighting and ignoring him. He sometimes finds his solace with his neighbour onee-san, Sumire. However she only looked at him as a little brother. So leave it to Akatsuki to go have a heart to heart talk with him. Akatsuki doesn’t remember about his own past and his current mom isn’t his biological one. Sometimes the real one doesn’t see her but it’s fine because he knows he loves her. So does Makino have anybody he loves? Even if that love is not returned, can he not be happy with just that? Can he accept it and move on? Makino is about to shut himself out due to his broken heart, thinking his parents never bothered with him and Sumire loves somebody else but then his friends are here to bring him back! Wohoo! Power of friendship, no? Yeah, time to move on. With that (as well as Zakuro calling him by his first name), Makino’s plant blooms. Stage cleared with 67 over million viewers!

Episode 12
Akatsuki asks everyone if Makino has a girlfriend. Because when he and Himiko go wake him up, he accidentally hugged her and thanked Sumire. Asking the guy directly, he just blushed. They even vote on if his girlfriend is older or younger? Only Akatsuki thinks Sumire is older. As the next stage starts, so Paka saying this is where the real fun begins… You mean it’s just going to be a bonus stage?! Everyone is given a set of coins to play any games they want. They can win as many coins and at the end they can exchange it for prizes. Paka merchandises? Boring! But wait! There is one ticket that allows Paka to grant you any wish you want. The only condition is that it must be in the confines of Nakanohito. So we see them playing various (boring) games. Some try to make a killing by betting big but lost all their earnings. Heck, there is one room with suspicious green pipes in which if you drop in, brings you to a familiar underground with familiar blocks and coins… And when you come out, you sport a familiar moustache!!! Ring a bell?! Of course time for some drama as a game Akatsuki plays, he falls into a trap. Not sure what place he is but he is seeing strange visions of his family. I think. The rest are worried he hasn’t been out yet so Paka explains that although his life won’t be in danger, but if he isn’t back by the time limit, he will become a dropout. I guess the only way now is to exchange the coins for the magic ticket. But all of them have lucked out or exchanged them, right? Oh wait. There’s Makino. He’s killing it at the slots! He’s drowning in coins! But since they are only halfway, they can double that with a simple game that is all or nothing. This high-low card game has you guess your card’s value is higher or lower than the dealer’s. So what’s it going to be? Time is ticking… Then everyone remembers Akatsuki’s vote on Sumire’s age. Yup, definitely higher. And with that, Akatsuki returns! Tadaima. Meanwhile we take a detour back at Akatsuki’s household. Mom thinks it’s okay for her husband to go and off he goes with his groupies. For something. On the other hand, our players are getting ready for the next stage… Wow. The bonus stage netted them 70 million viewers?

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What a downer. Here I was expecting the final episode to be some cliff-hanger ending, it ended with somewhat a fun-like level instead. Boring. Heck, I’d be complaining if that cliff-hanger ending made the cut either. And that final scene whereby Akatsuki’s dad meeting up with a few other people, I am assuming they are parents of some of the other players. Because you know, that striking resemblance to their kids… It’s like they’re off to go rescue their kids after they’ve been missing for who knows how long. Anyway that scene feels redundant considering the way the series ‘ended’. Sure, worried parents try to go rescue their kids but I guess they’re not convinced seeing how much fun they’re having and the millions of viewers they are garnering. I wonder how many more don’t like seeing this. Hint, like yours truly! Oh heck, I must be one of those million viewers since I stayed and watched this series till the end.

I think a lot of people try to compare this with Danganronpa and because this one somewhat doesn’t live up to that standard, hence why many gave such excuses of finding this series a poor adaptation. I am guessing that why this series lacks any sort of excitement is because, wait for it, nobody dies!!! As we were told that people who participate in this game have a chance of losing their life for real, initially my perception is that the number of participants will eventually thin out towards the end as the game gets tougher and tougher and some will be risking their lives just to solve the stage and let the rest move on. I know. Blame me for being a bloodthirsty sadist but that is basically how you attract viewership, no? The basic human nature of wanting to see blood spill of others. Therefore with all of the participants here clearing the stages and being so happy in the end, it is a mind boggling matter of how their viewership count can increase dramatically by the end of each stage! Where’s the excitement in that?! Unless they are fans of the participants so it’s like they just hope and wish to see more of them in action rather than some casual viewer who is just out for blood. Too bad this isn’t a horror survival series then.

The other big problem of this series is the games that they play. I believe they do not want to focus on the games and instead of the interaction and bonding of the players. Many of the games that we see them play are just borderline boring. Like raising a child? WTF?! Go to a demon village and rescue captured maidens? Boring! No plot twist whatsoever after the stage is cleared. I know it is to appease to fans of different genres since we have participants from different abilities in the game. But really, the games are somewhat a tool and stepping for the characters to grow closer and bond. But they fail in that too. More on that later. So in terms of the games, I could basically sum it up as boring as f*ck. The closest a game was the most interesting was the hide and seek one with the ghost ladies. I admit it was interesting and as well suspenseful because you know, ghost ladies trying to hunt you down! But the biggest disappointment comes in that final round how all of them managed to win the game without being caught at all! They put all their eggs in the same basket! The worst part was they never explained it to us how Akatsuki deduced that this was the safe room! Yeah people, use your imagination on how they survived that. By that time I was downright losing it and from then on, I wasn’t just interested in whatever games they played anymore. Whatever. Just get it on and clear the stage.

On to the characters, I believe they are also a big miss and unfortunately as much as they try to keep the intrigue and mystery with some of them, ultimately I think that a dozen episodes weren’t enough to properly flesh all 8 of them out. Maybe they could have run for another cour but who knows if it would still be interesting. The biggest gripe I have is have the characters’ backgrounds feel superficial. They are just shown snippets of their past or whatever and then nothing else. You move on. I mean, all of the players I believe have some sort of past and a reason why they participate in this game, willingly or unwillingly. But to skim over them just to ‘alert’ us that hey, this is their past. Note that? Okay. Let’s move on. It just doesn’t make us feel we want to put our support behind them. Ironically we have players who are pros in their related fields. But where is one who is skilled in third person shooters? I guess Japanese people don’t play Overwatch, Fornite, PUBG or even Call Of Duty or Counter Strike.

Like Himiko, when she said she killed somebody, it sure hell made me interested to know more about it. And then it was just briefly explained about how she technically ‘killed’ somebody figuratively and not physically. It was really a disappointment. So that’s it for this shy chick, huh? The only reason why order is kept and the guys not fighting each other because of her flash grenades. It’s her only prominent point we’d mostly remember. Every group needs an angry guy. That’s you Anya. What about why he carries a helmet around to honour his dead brother? Then there is Makino who is always sleeping wherever and whenever he can. Yes, this guy can even sleep upside down on rock like as though he is defying the laws of nature and physics! They try to make this Makino guy having this enigmatic ambience. It makes us want to know who this guy. Every time you look into his eyes, you wanna fall in love with this hunk. And then a convenient episode just to give us his flashback… Uhm… I guess it’s okay? Once you know about that, it’s like, whatever.

The biggest mysterious players are Akatsuki and Yuzu themselves. It is hinted that they are more than just players and while Yuzu is revealed to be on Paka’s side, it didn’t really send any shockwaves. If this is supposed to be the biggest twist, then I guess it failed. Of course Akatsuki as the main character, how much do we know about him? He seems like an eager beaver wanting to join in every game. He is like the glue that sticks all the players together because otherwise nobody would be wanting to cooperate in the first place. His eternal smile and positivism I am guessing is hiding something even tragic. That is why he acts like an airhead to try and cover up whatever background he has. I may be wrong and Akatsuki might just be some natural airhead who loves to play games. That’s all. Last episode tries to hint something but it just didn’t really matter because once again you’d expect the power of friendship to get him out of whatever problem. That’s what friends are for, right? Another unanswered question is how the genome fits into all this. Every time they clear a stage, they receive some chromosome thingy. Are they taking samples of the players’ DNA to build a secret army? Or at least clone their gaming skills?

As you might have guessed, there are a few mind boggling questions that pop up in your head while watching this series. At least mine did. The mind boggling one goes to those secret underground kids. Don’t tell me Paka is that dumb and lets them run around and do as they wish? Nanami I assume is the ‘oldest’ because he has been stuck underground for 4 years! FOUR DAMN YEARS!!! So what is he planning to do? I’m sure it is to bust out and waiting for the right time. Keep waiting… So long those kids do not interfere with the current games, I guess Paka is willing to close an eye. I mean, Paka could have captured all of them as and when he likes and as the game master, he has the power and authority to do it. I know we see him kowtowing to Akatsuki’s demands but I’m sure he is just trolling for the sake of the game.

What about the viewership of the game? Are the rising numbers due to the same people watching (because some of us own multiple devices and online accounts) or are they truly unique viewers? Because it feels strange that the counter actually goes up by a few million after every stage is cleared. I mean, are there no viral cute cat videos out there?! Are people so bored or the marketing team of this game is so good that they attract others to get glued to their screen? Heck, even there are not many fanservice scenes and the numbers still increase proportionately. As the numbers do not go down, I am assuming once they start watching the stream, they’ll forever watch it till it finishes. No wonder at this rate they look like they have potential to hit a million viewers. It is just going to take a while… I mean, there’s no time limit to achieve that, right?

Of course Paka himself being the biggest mystery of all, you wonder what his intentions are in hosting these games. Conspiracy theories and speculations are rife from my side because one of mind is that he would need to achieve a certain number of viewership before he can leave the island. Or maybe he needs to host a number of editions before he can get his wish granted. Something like that. Or maybe he is the last of his Alpacan alien race and the only way to save his tribe is to extract the DNA of the best players? A bit of a stretch there… Paka doesn’t sound or look very threatening and quite accommodating to the players as most of the time you see him give some freedom to complete things. Like how he helped Yuzu complete her puzzle and give others a chance to save Makino. I’m sure those aren’t part of the rules but as the game master and host, he controls everything. I don’t think he even wants to kill them at all. Seeing how he prepared events for them to relax and have fun, this guy probably wants people to enjoy his giant amusement park. What’s a big Disneyland when you have no visitors to enjoy, huh?

Art and animation I think it tries to be as edgy as Danganronpa but overall it comes off as a bit bland, the visuals and the colour hues. The characters have this cute and kawaii looks to it like as though they are one step away from being a chibi version of themselves. Even Anya as the angsty character doesn’t look menacing. A lot of crude talk perhaps made us think he is so. This series is animated by Silver Link who has done Non Non Biyori, Strike The Blood, Masamune-kun No Revenge, Kokoro Connect and Imouto Sae Ireba Ii just to name a few.

For the voice acting, I only recognized Kenjiro Tsuda as Paka. Why do I have a feeling that this guy is going to be the Johnny Depp of voice acting since his eccentric low voice makes him suitable to voice weird characters like that pervy erotic novelist dad in Midara Na Ao-chan Wa Benkyou Ga Dekinai and Ogata in Golden Kamuy. The other casts are Daiki Yamashita as Akatsuki (Midoriya in Boku No Hero Academia), Akari Kitou as Karin (Kaho in Blend S), Kaori Nazuka as Yuzu (Tsukasa in Amagami SS), Tasuku Hatanaka as Anya (Kaminari in Boku No Hero Academia), Takuya Satou as Kaikoku (Sasajima in Nana Maru San Batsu), Kouki Uchiyama as Zakuro (Ichika in Infinite Stratos), Manaka Iwami as Himiko (Chiaki in Gamers) and Takuma Terashima as Makino (Stone River in Tantei Opera Milky Holmes). Bonus point: Mamiko Noto making her short cameo is Akatsuki’s mother!!! Or aunt. Whoever. I don’t care. Phew. So glad hearing her voice just made my day after finishing watching this series.

Not Game by Tasuku Tatanaka as the opening theme, uhm, feels a bit weird. I has this hip tune to it and although it is not bad, somehow I just feel it doesn’t fit the series. Because it gives off this feeling that everybody is having fun and that there is no danger at all to the players! Which is what it is actually. Then the ending theme, Boku Wo Mitsukete by Fhana feels equally weird at least in terms of the tune of the song. Not really to my liking. I don’t know if the ending credits animation is trying to do homage or copied after the first season of Durarara’s ending theme. It looks strikingly similar…

Overall, I wanted to like this series but unfortunately the boring games and weak character development, it only makes me dream if there was an alternate version whereby it was truly a horror survival game where the participants truly dies! But I guess I have to accept that this is a team game whereby everyone pitches in and helps each other out. Yeah, this feels like one big elaborated team building camp with the characters coming out nicely and happy. Everybody wins! Everybody gets a participation trophy! You’re a winner! He’s a winner! She’s a winner! Everybody’s a winner! Certainly, this isn’t the next Gangnam Style material that would break the counter of YouTube. What next after achieving a million views? I guess we are going back to watch those viral cute cat videos. That will surely rake up hundreds of millions of views in a short period of time.

Chuukan Kanriroku Tonegawa

November 16, 2019

Zawa… Zawa… Think we’re getting another season of the gambling survivor, Kaiji? Think again. Instead, we get a somewhat spinoff of a character in the Kaiji series. Yeah well, I wasn’t a big fan of that psychological thriller so I didn’t expect this character (which I didn’t think was that popular to begin with, but I could be wrong) to be the focus of this spinoff. As you can already tell from the title, Chuukan Kanriroku Tonegawa tells of the lone struggles of Teiai’s second most powerful man as he deals with the president’s wishes as well as the men under his team. It is not a walk in the park if he intends to climb up the ladder and go ahead in life. But a man has got to do what a man has got to do if he is to achieve his goals. No pain, no gain.

Episode 1: Initiative
We see Teiai MIBs going around to ‘remind’ their debtors to pay up. Of course as expected, they promise this and that. We’ll pay in time. Just give us more time. However one cocky debtor tries to push his luck, claiming their crazy interest rates is the reason he can’t pay back. Hence, Tonegawa goes down to deal with this guy himself. Don’t give me talk, give me money! After confiscating his entire business, the guy starts blaming society, this and that. Tonegawa tells him off that society is not his mother! One day, Tonegawa is summoned by Hyoudou. His guts tell him that something bad is going to happen. It seems Hyoudou is bored. All the current entertainment he views as fake and wants Tonegawa to start a new project. A project whereby there will be games to fight to the death! There goes Tonegawa’s golfing weekend… Hence he puts together a team to storm for ideas. However because all the MIBs look alike, he wants them to introduce themselves and state their hobbies. The problem is that Tonegawa is a very observant man and this is the cause of his troubles because he has a hard time trying to remember their names! He is stressing over how close Yamazaki and Kawasaki sound like! While Hyoudou doesn’t bother to remember his men’s names, it is a must for Tonegawa as he is going to need their support if he wants to advance his career. After a few names, that is when he loses it. I guess he noticed all their hobbies are bowling and calls the mall Gutter Balls! They can’t throw a strike to his memory! So what do the men do after the meeting? Go bowling!

Episode 2: Conjecture
This time’s meeting is to discuss ideas. However nobody dares speak up. So quiet that when Tonegawa tries to make a joke, the silence got even more awkward. Hence Tonegawa tries to break the ice that he will directly credit those with great ideas to Hyoudou. Slowly, they start to give their ideas. No matter how simple or absurd it is, Tonegawa praises them to raise their spirits. Now they are all eager to give their half-baked ideas. Keep them coming! But all that momentum is suddenly killed off with Hyoudou himself comes in! He is checking on their progress and even sits in to observe! Yeah. Back to gloom and doom again. Now it’s back to that deafening silence. This time Tonegawa tries to have the MIBs make the decision of which idea to go with. Pinpointing out Yamazaki, however any suggestions he make is rejected! Solely Tonegawa is basing this rejection based on Hyoudou’s expression. Look at that bored expression. It’s a no go! In the end, Yamazaki throws it back to him. Which idea does he think is best then? Oh sh*t. Tonegawa’s answer? He erases everything! Because the logic now stands that to avoid making a bad decision, to not answer or pick one is correct! Tonegawa realizes that Hyoudou has dozed off and his earlier bored expressions were just trying to stay awake. Old fart still needs his sleep. I guess that’s it for today’s meeting as Tonegawa reluctantly carries Hyoudou back to bed.

Episode 3: Sure Fire
Knowing he has lost the trust of his men, Tonegawa now has his men go on a relaxation trip to regain his honour. However the men are wary especially Yamazaki. They know what is going on and it’s not going to be easy to regain their trust. But they start to let up when Tonegawa shows them the schedule. 100% leisure time. From darts to billiards to ping pong and mahjong, this place has it all. But does it have bowling?! Nope. Damn… Tonegawa tries to seal the deal by showing them high quality Kobe beef and expensive wine they can indulge all they want. But does he have beer? Nope. But here’s a ton of cash to go buy them. All the men except Yamazaki are excited. He still won’t forgive him. As they get the fire going, Yamazaki is tasked to find a grilling plate. Unfortunately all of them are rusty. Yamazaki thinks the BBQ will be cancelled and once again Tonegawa will disappoint his men. Trust will no longer be attainable. However Tonegawa doesn’t give up and goes to look for something in the warehouse. He soon returns with a giant grilling platform. Since Yamazaki was the only one who worked directly under Hyoudou, he can tell this is actually a torture device! But it still cooks meat perfectly. Tonegawa then brings another weird device. Is it just to cut cabbage? Heck, Yamazaki knows this is another supplement torture device! The men are having the time of their life. Yamazaki still bitter. That is when Tonegawa cooks some meat for him and personally gives it to him as apology. Tastes great. Ah, can’t beat them, join them. And so faith has been restored.

Episode 4: Adult
Tonegawa on his way home uses the subway. He hears people with their problems and some sort of inspiration struck. Then at the sushi bar, he hears certain buzzwords and that is when he hit upon his idea. Next day at the meeting, he proposes this diabolical game of human mahjong. All the debtors will be gathered and they will become human tiles. With the tile they are given, they must make the best winnable value and those who are discarded will not get anything. This in turn will bring out the true human nature of betrayal and backstabbing because they will be selfish to form the winning tile and discard those that are useless. Seems like a great idea until Saemonsaburou wonders if it is feasible. Can they get enough debtors to play (136 of them) and not many know mahjong rules. So does he have a better solution? Yes. He brings out his Powerpoint presentation to blow everyone away! Wah! So nice. His proposal is a mix of rock-scissors-paper and a card game. Those who have watched the first season of Kaiji will very well know how this game works. It is safe to say that with this incredible idea and great presentation, all the MIBs look like they agree to this plan. However, Tonegawa can still reject this. But will he risk and make the same mistake? Fortunately, he goes with this plan and wants him to make copies for everyone how this game works. But just one little thing, though. He finds the initial title of this game, card rock-scissors-paper to be a bit childish. Hence he renames it as restricted rock-scissors-paper. I guess he still needs to stamp his authority in some way.

Episode 5: Soul Searching
Tonegawa tries to send in the proposal to Hyoudou. However this guy is so bored that he wants to see a movie. So Tonegawa accompanies him to watch a certain asteroid disaster movie. However during the climax he falls asleep. Tonegawa is in a pinch. If he wakes him up, he’ll be in a bad mood for ruining his sleep. But if he doesn’t, he’ll also be in trouble for not doing so. Thus an idea to pause the movie and only resume once he wakes up. Tonegawa waits and waits. Until he falls asleep. By the time he wakes up, Hyoudou is mad because he missed the climax! Ouch. With the deadline to hand in the proposal in 5 days, Tonegawa thinks he has plenty of time. Oh, but Hyoudou is leaving for Hawaii tomorrow for 10 days! Damn. But how to approach him? Asking Yamazaki for hints, it seems Hyoudou’s default mode is always in a bad mood. But he notices there is a short window of opportunity. And that time is when he just comes out from his bath. However this is not always 100%. Be sure to check the angle of his eyebrows before going in. It’s not the best but it’s the only shot he’s got. So Tonegawa waits till he finishes his bath. As he comes out… OMFG. He is wearing a facial mask! Even old dudes need to take care of his skin. There goes his golden opportunity. But 3 days later, Tonegawa informs his men that the proposal is approved! You see, Tonegawa also flew to Hawaii and waited for the right moment to present it. With this success, the men celebrate. Heck they even go bowling after that. But next morning, nobody turns up at the meeting. Tonegawa waits until he gets a phone call from one of them apologizing they went all out and bowl their hearts out till they realize too late it is already morning. 24 hour bowling? Tonegawa is visibly mad and tells them don’t bother to come in. But as he leaves, all of them are seen prostrating and apologizing. Tonegawa suddenly can’t recognize or tell them apart. Because they have shaved their heads as apology! And you thought he finally managed to recognize all of them was because of their hairstyle! WTF is this?! The Matrix?! Ma-what? Yeah, all of them go watch that movie just for reference. And Tonegawa is already fast asleep…

Episode 6: Self-destruct
Today’s meeting will discuss the diabolical venue needed for the game. Tonegawa knows nothing good will come out if all of them work together so he initiates a contest. They will each present their suggestion for the venue. Some are weird, some are plain boring. And one had to guts to even suggest a bowling alley?! WTF?! You wanna get fired?! Until Saemonsaburou’s turn he suggests the luxury liner Espoir. Everyone is impressed. The last guy to present is Ebitani who proposes some Japanese restaurants complete with 100 reasons why to choose this place. Dude. WTF?! So much so Tonegawa later talks to him about it. Knowing that Ebitani is pressured because of his rivalry with Saemonsaburou, Tonegawa gives him some good advice as well as pinpointing his shortcomings. For example, the difference between them is their scale of thinking. Saemonsaburou doesn’t regard the minor details unlike Ebitani and went all out in his proposal. Any minor details should be left to the boss to be ironed out. Impressed, Ebitani is all fired up to do better. Especially for the next theme of the contest which is to design the card. Tonegawa realizes that Ebitani is a passionate guy but his aim is often off target. He just needs to be pointed in the right direction. On the day Hyoudou returns from Hawaii, Tonegawa waits in hopes to propose the venue. However Hyoudou is in a bad mood. He wants the pilot fired for a bumpy ride. The best thing for Tonegawa is not to do anything. But then here comes Ebitani rushing towards Hyoudou. Oh sh*t! He begs for this big boss for his handprints because he wants to use it as the design for the card game! WTF?! Hyoudou gets mad and fires him!!! Ebitani pleads to Tonegawa for help so Hyoudou goes over there to beat him up and adds a pay cut! I guess everything backfired since Ebitani got worse… In the aftermath, Tonegawa is reeling from it all as he is seeing visions and even chastising the ‘ghost’ of Ebitani. Get out of my face!

Episode 7: Proliferation
With Espoir approved, they head on to the design of the cards. Saemonsaburou comes up with the genius idea of using skeletons as motif. Tonegawa isn’t amused that all of them are hounding him for details and approvals instead of thinking for themselves. Until Kawasaki gets sick and is admitted to hospital for flu, Tonegawa enforces strict hygiene for everyone. Yeah. Keep washing your hands underneath the nails up to your elbows! Then it gets hard for the MIBs to work so Tonegawa approves taking off the face mask since no one has gotten sick since Kawasaki. And then Tonegawa coughs… Oh no. True enough he gets the flu and is recuperating from home. With no direction, the team thinks of putting this project on hold till he recovers. Until Gonda says he will stand in for Tonegawa. Apparently as the oldest member, Tonegawa gave him that directive to stand in for him. And so Gonda now knows the pressure of being in that man’s seat. Every single detailed being referred to. And then the flu hits Gonda. Time to go home and recuperate? Gonda refuses. He claims he reap what he sow because his entire life he has always run away from responsibility and took the easy way out. This is where he is now. Therefore he wants to continue so as not to disappoint Tonegawa who entrusted the role in him. Otherwise he can’t live with himself. The men then get back to work to honour his wish. On the day Tonegawa returns, he narrates he never saw any leadership qualities in Gonda and purposely put him there so as to motivate the others to think for themselves. As he enters the meeting room, everyone is sick! Time to take a break…

Episode 8: Shrimp
Ebitani returns! He wants to make it up to Tonegawa so he brings him to a pyramid scheme seminar! Oh sh*t! Tonegawa knows this is trouble and wants out and despite telling them off about hard work and perseverance, they laugh at him. He doesn’t care, though. However he doesn’t want Ebitani to go through this because he still owes him an apology. Guess what? Ebitani still thinks this isn’t a pyramid scheme. It’s business networking! WTF?! A few days later, Tonegawa receives a letter from Ebitani. He claims Tonegawa was right because the pyramid scheme seminar and all those were involved were arrested. And Ebitani is writing this from the detention centre! Yeah, he realized it too late. When Ebitani is released, he meets up with Tonegawa again. He is sure to make it up to him this time. He is now trying to convince him to quit Teiai! Ebitani has did a survey and it seems 90% of people loves shrimp. So he has this idea to come up with a new product called Ebi Roll. Just some shrimp wrapped in dough? Hence with his idea and Tonegawa’s funding, they’ll hit it big. Unsure, Tonegawa then has Ebitani demonstrate this to his men at Teiai. After making it and letting them taste it, what’s the verdict? It sucks! You mean you got to eat that lobster shell too? Obviously, Tonegawa won’t be funding this. He gives a demoralized Ebitani advice that he knows he wants to find his footing after being fired from Teiai. But he can’t go for a quick buck and must work hard. Now, Ebitani’s tears aren’t because Tonegawa’s advice resonated with him. Rather, he bought 200kg of lobster thinking it was a sure fire win! Hence everyone pities him and chips in to buy some. A few days later, another letter from Ebitani. Thanks to their support, he now believes shrimp is the future and has bought a ton of lobsters!!! Damn this fool didn’t learn a damn thing!!!

Episode 9: Cutlets
We see Teiai conducting their hiring and interviewing process. Right when you are invited for the interview, there are lots of trick questions and those who failed to see through it will be eliminated. Potentials are interviewed by Tonegawa in which if he says have a safe trip home, it means you’re eliminated. Successful ones are told to go through the next room. You’d think that interviewing is easy but it seems like those who are passionate and so interested in Teiai are rejected! Since they don’t know the dark side of Teiai, this could be a problem. Then there is one who is the brother of one of the MIBs. Can’t have more confusion, can we? Rejected! Then there is a guy who is good at everything and almost perfect. Just that he has a big jawbone! Rejected! Because nobody must stand out more than Hyoudou! In the end, only 25 potentials are recruited. During lunch time, Tonegawa feels a bit hungry and decides to stop by and order a large serving of pork cutlets. At first the staff is shocked but he say to just bring it on. He starts to regret it because it is really freaking huge!!!! I guess he didn’t read properly of some of the shop’s weird size names. Also, those who order this large serving will need to have a photo taken. Yeah, here’s the wall of fame of all those who tried. All failed! Even professional competitive eaters and sumo wrestlers all failed to finish! So is Tonegawa up to the task? Well, he can’t go back on his word so he takes up the challenge as he chows down every pork cutlet. Just when he thought he is done with them, hidden beneath the rice are more pork cutlets! There are several layers! Don’t get disheartened now! Amazingly, he finishes everything clean and everyone is impressed with the birth of a new legend. Tonegawa returns to Teiai and Hyoudou calls him. What is the matter? Hyoudou wants to share his pork cutlet sandwich with him! Yeah, he has bought boxes of it! The challenge continues…

Episode 10: Rehearsal
The props for the restricted rock-scissors-paper game are here. But when Tonegawa tests it out, nothing works. Looks like they are just normal cards without any chips and the tables are just empty. No time to fix it as the rehearsal is in a week so he tells off his men to get inside the table and manually count the cards! Impossible! No way! Due to the overwhelming negativity, Tonegawa drops it. You figure out yourselves what to do. Many hours later, Tonegawa is called to an empty room. He is made to test again. This time it works! You see, all the MIBs have actually waited inside the table and none have gone crazy in there for 5 hours as they have customized that small spacing into their own personal living space! The trial run begins with Tonegawa addressing the new recruits to act like desperate debtors. However they’re being cool and efficient so Endou steps in and believes he can make those newbies act like with a day of his heavy debtor lecturing. Endou presents a real heavy debtor for the newbies to figure out the nonsensical way he thinks. They are surprised by all the answers they never thought would have crossed their mind. The lecture is a success and now they are all scumbags! Yeah, so much so they don’t even want to do the mock rehearsal! As they all do their own stuff and bum around, Tonegawa tries to motivate them by giving winners merchandises. However with them living the fantasy life of being a celebrity and earning millions, there’s no way they’re going back to reality! Hence Endou once more steps in by bringing in real debtors into the game! Want to challenge to see who wins? But Tonegawa is in despair because this isn’t how the game is supposed to works. And so the second day of rehearsal fails…

Episode 11: Business Trip
Tonegawa and Yamazaki are on a business trip to Fukuoka and are taking the shinkansen. Yamazaki is worried because Tonegawa is having the mind set of treating this business trip as a vacation. But after learning he has been working straight for 20 days, Yamazaki is going to let him do what he feels. Suddenly a call from Hyoudou! Oh sh*t! He is asking his opinion if he should take up yoga. Tonegawa didn’t give a direct answer and because of that, the line gets cut off because the train enters a tunnel! WTF?! Tonegawa frantically calls back again much to Hyoudou’s frustration. But then… Line cut again! Another tunnel! How many f*cking tunnels are there?! Poor Tonegawa had to take another quick trip home and clear the misunderstanding. After the business trip in Fukuoka, Tonegawa is sent to Osaka to supervise a new branch office for a week. He tries to make it casual with the employees and hinting they could invite him out to drinks after work. However the stupid branch manager, Kinezaki is being too strict and formal. Hence back to the tense atmosphere. A week passes and the MIBs have been working under tension and stress. So is this how it’ll end? Tonegawa notices the MIBs want to see him off but are hesitant. Hence he drops obvious hints he wants to be invited out. And just when they are about to do that, stupid Kinezaki tells them to scram! And so frustrated Tonegawa heads home alone without any party or send off. Curse you, Kinezaki! Meanwhile, Saemonsaburou seems to be wearing fashionable suits. This has the other guys doing the same. Only Yamazaki and Gonda do not follow. When Yamazaki calls Tonegawa for advice, he is told to just tell them it is part of the regulations. Next day, everyone is even more fashionable with Saemonsaburou tanned. Even Gonda has fallen into the fashionable trap. When Yamazaki points out the rules, it seems technically they are not breaking them. Sure, black suits, tie, sunglasses and shoes. But it didn’t specify what kind, right? Tonegawa returns to point how it looks ridiculous on them. So boring monotony is better than them standing out like that? Anyway he explains about what it means to be fashionable and mature instead just easily slapping accessories that make it look like cosplay. So how to stay fashionable? Tonegawa puts a simple handkerchief in Yamazaki’s pocket and now he looks super cool! Everyone wants to learn from Tonegawa so he brings them to Ginza and Marunouchi. I guess Harajuku doesn’t quite cut it.

Episode 12: Fake
Tonegawa is summoned by Hyoudou. He is shown a baseball and a hornet. Childhood memories? Apparently Hyoudou thinks somebody is targeting his life! Actually a kid actually threw a baseball at his way and a hornet just came sticking on his back. Tonegawa thought of employing additional security but Hyoudou wants a body double! And so the search for a body double begins. It’s an impossible task to have anybody look like him. Especially that nose… As Tonegawa and Yamazaki take a break at a diner, they are shocked this man, Masayan looks exactly like him! OMG did they copy and paste?! Only difference is his personality is exact opposite. He is such a kind and nice man! Words that Teiai employees would never expect their boss to say! They explain their issue to Masayan and he looks reluctant. Until his wife gives the greenlight because she knows he loves to help those in trouble. And so Masayan’s training to be Hyoudou’s double begins. Yup, harsh training from Yamazaki since he once worked under Hyoudou and knows all his habits. Uh huh. Even down to the how he laughs! After 2 months, Masayan is now like Hyoudou! Diabolical! He could be even more original than the original! When Tonegawa is called again by Hyoudou, it seems the boss is now more interested in being a mentalist and totally forgot about the body double! Yamazaki is distraught since Tonegawa says they can’t keep Masayan at Teiai. Endou heard this problem and dumps Masayan in some woods and leaves some cash. However this worries Tonegawa and Yamazaki so much that they start looking for him. Man, Yamazaki is so emotional. I can imagine the bond they had during the training. So worried that Yamazaki even mistook the real Hyoudou as Masayan! Shockingly, Masayan somehow makes his way back to Teiai. Yamazaki is so happy and begs Tonegawa to let him stay. No way. Unless he takes full responsibility. And with that, Masayan continues to stay at Teiai and Tonegawa keeps him as insurance. Who knows one day Hyoudou will be interested in the body double again.

Episode 13: Setting Sail
The restricted rock-scissors-paper will start tomorrow. However Tonegawa is called by Hyoudou and being asked if he respects him. Turns out Hyoudou is asking a series of questions from a psychology test book. Tonegawa must be careful in his answer so not to piss him off. Wrong answer will get him punished. Amusing answers will have Hyoudou sniggering and the MIBs following suit. In the final question, it made Hyoudou scared but Tonegawa is the winner because that answer means he is the biggest pervert. WTF moment for Tonegawa… With the restricted rock-scissors-paper game getting on, Tonegawa explains the rules. But when the debtors get rowdy, he tells them to STFU! Then he lectures them about being losers and winning. The game proceeds smoothly. Hyoudou is so impressed he wants another round in 3 days! Later Yamazaki talks to Tonegawa because he was impressed with his speech to shut down those debtors. Before the second round of the game begins, looks like Tonegawa has lost his voice so he has Yamazaki take over his role. Damn, teaching this guy how to say f*ck you? Yamazaki does well in the first part (with help from Tonegawa showing his place cards) until the debtors start getting rowdy. This is when Yamazaki naturally tells them off. Woah. This guy sounds meaner! All seems to be going well as he just regurgitates out what Tonegawa said. Until he tries to badmouth certain sports celebrities (like how Tonegawa did before) but some of them are real fans and tell him to apologize! This is unprecedented. Although Yamazaki manages to control the crowd, it wasn’t the kind of way Tonegawa had expected because he gave them lots of hopes they could rise and win this thing. But luckily, the game ended without any hitch and to celebrate this success, Tonegawa and his team go bowling!

Episode 14: Excursion
Today’s episode is focused on Ootsuki. Thanks to his killing he made from chinchiro gambling, he is able to buy a pass for a single day excursion. Of course with the MIBs keeping a close watch, Ootsuki is different from many others who rush and struggle on their single day freedom. Instead we see him taking easy and ‘wasting time’. A simple meal before going to bed. Next day, he buys himself a suit and heads to a normal soba bar for normal office workers. He stuns everyone by ordering beer. And a few rounds of it! It dawned to the MIBs that he is lording over those other office workers. Because who else can drink at this time of the day but a manager? Yeah, he enjoys putting pressure on those guys. In the end, he leaves a satisfied man. On another excursion, the usual taking it slow and pretty normal stuff till the next day he decides to eat at a Chinese cuisine shop. It was the shop where he used to patron as a college student and the chef was kind enough to give him extra and no charge if he ordered the special crab fried rice. As he was about to order that, he sees a handwritten omelette rice on the menu. He is in a dilemma whether to risk his safety by ordering this but curiosity got the better of him so he orders it. It came out as omelette + rice separately. At first he was disappointed and thought his day was ruined but as he eats it, it tastes so delicious that he finishes it within minutes. But here’s the best part, the chef serves him a mini crab fried rice. Ootsuki didn’t order this but the chef always thought he used to order them. Anyway it’s on the house. Wow. This guy still remembers this dude! Ootsuki gushes down this nostalgia and relives those college days. On his way back, he rates this place as 5 star for the food and value but only 3 stars for the atmosphere because there were noisy people around…

Episode 15: Playing Hard
When Ootsuki is out again, this time his lackey Numakawa follows him. The last time Numakawa was out alone, it didn’t go too well. So with Ootsuki around, this veteran is able to show how to go about the day. Take things nice and slowly without panicking. The whole day they read magazines and talk about manga. When they go for dinner, Numakawa wants to order an expensive dish to celebrate this occasion but Ootsuki quickly points out how many makes this mistake. After finding out where Numakawa comes from, he orders chicken nanban. They should eat what they actually want to eat. Since there is a fireworks festival nearby, they head there to have fun. At the end of the festival, Ootsuki buys some food for the festival workers to eat. Numakawa is stumped he is doing that for random strangers but the staffs then invite them to join in and they get to eat snacks and drink more beer. Numakawa is so enlightened that he wants to go out with Ootsuki next time. But Ootsuki tells him that the best adventures are the ones you discover yourself. On another day out, Ootsuki finds this MIB, Miyamoto to be sitting close to him. Miyamoto is very sceptical of Ootsuki. Despite his calm demeanour, he accuses him of being a devil deep down. So Miyamoto is going to have his eyes on him this time. Ootsuki doesn’t care and proceeds to do as he pleases. Ootsuki is having fun eating and relaxing and even inviting Miyamoto to join but of course the latter refuses claiming he is on duty. So after Ootsuki finds out where he is from, he takes him to an antenna shop where the chamber of commerce is selling and promoting their specialty goods. Ootsuki would even gladly pay for Miyamoto’s share and so finally this MIB gives in. Once that happens, he really lets loose and both of them have fun all the way! So much so when it is time for Ootsuki to go back, Miyamoto allows another hour! Eventually other MIBs drag them back. Looks like Miyamoto is now a fan of Ootsuki and can’t wait the next time he goes out. Before we forget that Tonegawa is the star of this show, we see him visit the pork cutlet shop and this time he orders the lady size. But Ootsuki is next to him and orders the large serving. Tonegawa glees silently and will watch this guy make the mistake he once did. So when the large serving comes out, Ootsuki recognizes Tonegawa as his photo is on the wall. Ootsuki tries to have Tonegawa share his portion but is told off to man up and finish it himself. When Tonegawa’s order arrives, Ootsuki laughs at his ‘pitiful’ size. So different than the winning photo, right? This lights up the competitive fire in Tonegawa so he orders the large serving! And so both of them dive into pork cutlet hell… Despite both of them amazingly finishing their bowls, the real winner is the pork cutlet… Too much pork…

Episode 16: Natural Enemies
Tonegawa is wary of Kurosaki because he is his natural rival who might usurp his position. You see, Kurosaki can be straight to the point with Hyoudou and not get punished unlike Tonegawa who says the slightest wrong thing and he’ll get what’s coming. So as they dine out, Tonegawa tries to play it safe by following Kurosaki’s lead. He can’t be too ambitious and usurp it from there because he might say the wrong thing. However with Tonegawa blindly playing it safe, eventually he says the wrong thing and incurs Hyoudou’s wrath. Hyoudou decides to buy this elegant looking racehorse and names it Kazutakaiser! Then he sees a shabby one and buys it for Tonegawa, calling it Yukioh! But as we see, Kazutakaiser isn’t doing well compared to Yukioh. Even the trainer puts the potential on the latter. Hence Hyoudou does the unthinkable by swapping their identities! Yukioh is now his Kazutakaiser! During race day, Kurosaki is stumped at the switched Yukioh and Kazutakaiser. Tonegawa tries to silence him but Kurosaki brings this up to Hyoudou who of course laughs it off as a joke. When the race begins, Kazutakaiser makes a bad start but ultimately catches up to Yukioh who is leading the pack. It becomes a 2 horse race as Hyoudou and Tonegawa are earnestly praying for Kazutakaiser to win. But just metres before the finish line, Darkurosaki usurps and wins it! Yup. This is Kurosaki’s horse! Hyoudou and Tonegawa are left speechless while Kurosaki celebrates his victory.

Episode 17: Unofficial Announcement
It’s that time of year when the MIBs get a little nervous. Because it’s that time when some of them will be relocated. Those in the higher ups will know who goes where but sometimes there are ‘leaks’. Yamazaki got wind of those who will be transferred and ironically those who are affected are the ones who don’t know about it. One night, Yamazaki is called to meet up with Kikuchi, Nagata and Hagio. Yamazaki fears the worst because these 3 are the ones under Tonegawa team who will be transferred! Firstly, they trio are talking how they want to rise up through the ranks of Teiai as well as some of its inefficiencies. When they point out the southernmost branch of Teiai located at the edge of Japan that is just so why-the-heck-we-need-a-branch-there, the irony is that Yamazaki knows this is where the trio will be transferred! The trio think Yamazaki shares their same goal to rise up in Teiai and hence asking for his opinion. Better not say too much. A few weeks later, a few false alarm from the HR to make others think the trio got their relocation notice. And when finally Yamazaki sees them depressed thinking they already got the news, it is just Hagio losing his e-wallet pass card. Damn HR hurry up with the official announcement already! And soon the official announcement is out. The trio seem to be taking this calmly but upon closer inspection, their eyes are dead! Sunglasses hiding them… Hence a farewell party is held. However once they hit the booze, all their true feelings of despair and anxiety come out. It becomes hell with Yamazaki unable to control them and the other men. Then Tonegawa steps in. The trio brazenly confront him about this. They know this branch transfer is just to extract seaweed for Hyoudou’s supplement. Hyoudou admits this is some sort of demotion but also has hope for them to climb back up. But they don’t think so. Normal people like them can never rise again. It’s all over. Tonegawa hands them some sunglasses and UV lotion as well as warn them about sea snakes. Eh? Why does he now so much about this southern island thingy? Then he shows the sea snake bite on his chest! Oh dear. Looks like he was sent there too. The trio realize Tonegawa never had it smooth sailing either. The trio renew their motivation and hope to come back here again. We see them doing fine and even sending a postcard to Tonegawa.

Episode 18: Alignment
Tonegawa’s medical report… All C’s! Better start cutting down on those cholesterol and do some exercises. As Tonegawa makes the effort, his MIBs notice this and try to be mindful. However Doushita thinks of supporting him further by doing the same things as him. Tonegawa doesn’t know why this guy is doing so. One day as Tonegawa thinks he can have this pork cutlet as reward, Doushita throws it away! Don’t give in! Since when did he become his personal trainer?! Oh yeah. That’s what Doushita did. For some reason Tonegawa follows all his training regimen. So much so one day he had to sneak into the toilet cubicle just to secretly eat his pork cutlet. But the smell! Yeah, Doushita is tracking you down! Hide! But he is soon busted but this time he doesn’t throw it away but tells him not to eat the skin and no white rice! Is he his mother now? In the second medical test, Tonegawa scores all A’s thanks to his efforts. Phew. But his valuation towards Doushita? C! Better be careful! One day when Ootsuki is out on the surface, he notices a guy whom he has never seen before also on this same excursion. Not that he cares about this dude who probably saved up and never gambled. But something feels more than just coincidence because wherever Ootsuki goes, this guy is also there and orders the same thing! Everything! Even taking the same bath and sleeping at the same hotel. Despite being close to each other, they never talk or make eye contact. Next day, Ootsuki and this guy are at the same diner and orders the same thing. Nothing unusual. But this is where it ‘deviates’. While Ootsuki has tuna condiment, that guy orders chili bean paste and quail egg! Ootsuki in shock! Where is their unison?! Ootsuki is now feeling the pressure whether to order the same thing! When he orders a quail egg, that guy slides to him the paste. Ootsuki tries it and finds this combo delicious. When he finishes, it is time to return. Ootsuki never saw that guy again so he spaces out thinking about him. Could he be from a different facility? But you know how funny fate works. They cross each other’s path while working and he finally asks his name.

Episode 19: Newcomers
We have new members to replace those who have transferred out from Tonegawa’s team. They are Tsukui, Yaotome and… Saeko Nishiguchi! The MIBs are in shock! A female MIB?! Tonegawa tells them that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to Teiai’s employment. However everyone has to be cautious because every little thing they do even indirectly seems to amount to sexual harassment! Since when is Tonegawa the moral police?! The men are liking Nishiguchi since she treats them nice and recently Saemonsaburou bumping into her very often and as usual she treats him kindly, you can say that something inside his heart starts to stir. He even blurts out wanting to walk her home. No thanks. She can do that herself. Saemonsaburou regrets saying that since it makes him look like some creepy stalker. Let’s hope Nishiguchi doesn’t think that way. One day in office, she receives a call and blushingly rushes out to answer. To Saemonsaburou’s dismay, could this Hiro guy be her boyfriend?! Oh, why so anxious? Why so depressed? Later he discovers that guy is her brother. Phew. So relieved. Tonegawa has dinner with Hyoudou for their monthly meeting. As Hyoudou tries to impress his Engrish (“I have many many money…”), suddenly Yaotome drops in awe. He finds Hyoudou speaking Engrish to be so cool! And because Hyoudou loves those who overly praise him, he takes a liking for this guy. “I’m lovin’ it!”. We see Hyoudou even personally coming to look for Yaotome during meetings and this dude continues to praise shamelessly Hyoudou. Yeah, it’s so cringe worthy but you can’t say because Hyoudou’s the boss. It comes to a point where Yaotome dresses like Tonegawa since Hyoudou can’t tell him apart from other MIBs and at one point Hyoudou almost forgets Tonegawa’s name! Damn, Hyoudou and Yaotome are like best buddies! On another monthly dinner meeting, Tonegawa tries to redeem himself by showing a beautiful sight of the city. See how the commoners struggle! Hyoudou loves this view when suddenly Yaotome jumps in to block! Don’t see! WTF?! Yaotome claims he has been ignoring him! WTF???!!! As Yaotome views him as the admirable king, a king must pay attention to his subjects. More cringe worthy twisted praising and probably this back breaking limbo pose that is so WTF. You don’t understand how incredible you are?! WTF?! Because of that, Hyoudou forgives him! And with Yaotome now suddenly appointed as Hyoudou’s personal secretary, Tonegawa feels his position threatened.

Episode 20: Entertaining
Long before Kaiji tackled the Bog, Tonegawa has been invited by Ichijou to do the same. But of course it is rigged and it is all done in the name of entertainment. Tonegawa can tell Ichijou is a lousy entertainer due to his panicky ways. The Bog is set up in such an easy mode that all the balls manage to get to the last tray. Of course for a little bit of tension, all the balls doesn’t go through the right hole. This riles Tonegawa up and when it’s time, Ichijou rigs it further to let all the balls pop back up until he wins it. Yeah, lousy acting too. When Ootsuki and Numakawa are out on the surface, they can’t take it easy because they’re supposed to replenish their stocks to sell. Hence it is a busy day for them but they notice that they have another competitor selling different brand of snacks and sets. Ootsuki tries to come up with something different but no good ideas hit him until the very last moment. It seems Ootsuki has come up with some ultimate snack saving plan. Sign up and you can eat all you want for a certain time limit at half price. Still not good enough? He unveils some super ultimate snack plan that sounds so worth it that everyone signs up. At first it might look like this might make him go out of business but soon everybody gets bored of it. When they want out of the plan, they can’t because they already signed a contract and cancelling has its penalties. So they find ways to eat the snacks differently and create and innovate the snacks into different kind of food. On the day their subscription is up, they want to cancel their plan but Ootsuki is conveniently out today. Looks like they’re in for automatic renewal!

Episode 21: Defamation
Tonegawa notices Teiai’s Twitter account has only a few followers and miserable tweets. However there is an opposing account that hates Teiai and it has more followers! Tonegawa decides to take it upon himself to get the better of this. However despite increasing his followers, the hate account increases even more! With Saemonsaburou advising him, Tonegawa’s tweets are mostly about the weather! The hate group has more trendy and catchy buzzwords. Tonegawa will not lose out and let Saemonsaburou handle it. Instead he will learn all the trendy stuffs to appeal to others. Even if Tonegawa has more followers now, the hate group still has even more! Tonegawa losing for the first time? But one day, noticing a tweet that details the contents of his food, it then occurs to him that the person running this hate account could be an inside job and an employee of Teiai! Gasp! Can’t trust anyone now. The plot thickens… We take a detour to the underground labour as Ootsuki prepares his chinchiro gambling. However nobody is around. Until Numakawa reports that everyone has gone to watch a movie. Say what? It seems Odagiri, the foreman of a different group has set up a mini cinema for others to watch for a small fee. After the Roman Holiday movie, they are able to buy buns at special prices. Audrey Hep-buns?! Plus, he creates hype when he tells them the next screening will be Prison Break! Seasons 1 to 5! Everybody is cheering for Odagiri while Ootsuki is left to rue this might lead to a loss in his business. Because the underground has no internet, Odagiri must wait till his next excursion to the surface to download using free wi-fi. So when Odagiri is on that excursion, he is surprised Ootsuki is also out. Ootsuki plans to shut him down before he gets blown away.

Episode 22: Conclusions
After Odagiri downloads his movies, Ootsuki treats him to drink. In a diner that Ootsuki frequents, he treats him to good food and drinks. Even Miyamoto joins in! Once Odagiri is drunk and lets his guard down, Ootsuki moves in for the kill. His intention is for them to join forces and run a movie-cum-gambling den. While it might look like a win-win situation, Ootsuki’s devilish plan is to slowly squeeze him out once he gets his foothold. Odagiri verbally agrees but to cement this, Ootsuki has Miyamoto act as the witness and drink to seal the deal. However this scenes reminds Odagiri of that movie, Once Upon A Time In America. Everybody has seen it except Ootsuki! Because of that, Odagiri wants him to watch it now! Oh well, their excursion will be over in 3 hours so the deal can wait till the end. However this director’s cut version lasts almost 4 hours!!! Damn extended length! No deal? Meanwhile back to Tonegawa, realizing the hate tweet is getting more and more specific, it could only me that the culprit could be one of his men. Saemonsaburou hits upon an idea when a hate tweet contains a picture of a Smartphone. Using digital technology to enhance the contrast, they can now see the culprit’s face on the reflection. Ebitani?! Oh look, there is one new tweet that shows the front of Teiai. Realizing he is just outside, Tonegawa and his men go confront him. Ebitani blames Teiai for ruining his life. No job, no money. He tries to expose the shady deals Teiai does but Tonegawa has his men ‘shut him up’. When he wakes up, he is in a cell but it has amenities like TV and high spec PC! Tonegawa forces him to make amends. He is going to start a new account that spreads love for Teiai. Do whatever he wants and only until he reaches 100,000 followers he can be free. Whining will not get you anywhere. And so Ebitani makes his first supportive tweet on Teiai.

Episode 23: Premonition
Tonegawa doesn’t like class reunions but he is attending anyway. He wants to confirm and see for himself those who talk big and were obnoxious, how they are doing now. To his dismay, looks like they’re still the same loudmouth high school kids they were. In short, many never changed and even if there was something that changed, it was just their appearance. Yup, the cruelty of the passage of time. Tonegawa is shocked to see Maho Kagawa. Flashback shows she confessed to him but he rejected her!!! OMG! Despite he never had feelings for her, however he was shocked to see her wearing a wedding ring. Then the guys start playing dodgeball. One almost hit Kagawa but Tonegawa blocks it with his hand! He tells them not to go overboard. He has had it with this reunion and wants to leave. Kagawa hopes he could stay since their teachers will soon be arriving and they will sing the school song. Tonegawa isn’t impressed that they’re acting like high school kids when they’re not. Isn’t it embarrassing? Even so, isn’t it fun? With that, Tonegawa joins in but he doesn’t sing. He plays the piano. Yeah, he had fun too. Ootsuki and Numakawa are out again. The latter looking forward to some board game café. However Ootsuki realizes he is coming down with a flu and needs to do something. Parting ways with Numakawa, he rents a room that has a kitchen so that he could make his flu remedial dinner. He didn’t expect it was so good that he finished it. Then Miyamoto visits him. Today is his day off and he heard from the MIBs watching him what happened. So he brought some umeboshi and eggnog to help out. He also helps wet newspapers and put them in a bucket to act as humidifiers. Ootsuki then turns in early. Next morning, he feels better but he isn’t going to let his guard down yet. After making a wholesome breakfast, he continues to rest. Just in time to meet up with Numakawa because now he is back to normal health and even more energetic. So much so he wins all his games at the board game café. Meanwhile Miyamoto catches Ootsuki’s flu… Better rest up and recover quick or else he can’t join Ootsuki on his next excursion!

Episode 24: Endgame
It’s déjà vu all over again. Tonegawa being called by a very bored Hyoudou that he wants to watch something more exciting. Yup, something that will bring out the worst in humans and he wants to see that despair. This means something more diabolical than the restricted rock-paper-scissors. Tonegawa is about to get to it but looks like Hyoudou already has an idea himself. So if you’ve seen the original TV series, you would know what this human derby is all about. Although Tonegawa tells his men about this, another team is appointed to arrange for this. Tonegawa still wants his men to come and watch in case they are called to handle this in the future. Under the pretence of complying with TV regulations, they can’t show us the devastating human derby! Thank goodness I saw it in Kaiji so I beat your lousy censorship!!! Haha!!! On the day of the human derby, Yamazaki is the only one taking an off day. He gets this wrong idea it is about the Teiai bosses riding on humans like horse in a race. You don’t know… When his group chat start shuddering at this utter diabolicalness, curious Yamazaki press for more details on what is happening. Thankfully, his handphone runs out of battery. Safe? At the end of the game, Tonegawa’s words ring true: Money > Life. Tonegawa and his men attend Ogino’s wedding. It’s the only time an MIB is dressed in white. Tonegawa gives an impressive speech. Yamazaki is amazed but soon learns all that he said is fake. It doesn’t matter if it is truths or lies. The crowd here just wants to celebrate and have a good time. Tonegawa thought this is a pretty standard wedding. Until the life video of Ogino that reveals some things that he never knew before. Ogino born in Zambia???!!! He was a stand-up comedian too???!!! Shocking, right? When everybody gathers for a group photo, after Yamazaki gives the signal, all of Tonegawa’s men start doing a flash mob and some weird dance! Ogino taking the lead?! WTF?! But everybody is amused. Then Tonegawa realizes this is supposed to be a joyous day so he too joins in by Moonwalking into the flash mob! Go Tonegawa, go! Yeah, everybody sure had a swell time.

The Best Laid Plans Go Astray…
Zawa… Zawa… So that is how it ends? Damn. I didn’t really see this coming that this would have such a ‘happy ending’. Even more so, a wedding ending! Heh. How many animes have a wedding theme in their final episode? In fact, I wasn’t even sure whether if it was going to end on a positive note. Of course seeing the comedy take that has run its course throughout this series, it wasn’t likely it was going to end on a bad note but there is that very small chance that it could happen. Thank goodness it didn’t. Phew? Ah well, I guess there’s that saying that of all the big worries that ever crossed your mind in life, a big majority of them never happened. Yup. And so to know more about the downfall of Tonegawa and his ‘tragic’ fate, please refer to the original Kaiji TV series. For now, let Tonegawa and his men revel in the happiness of, uhm, whatever. Just dance and be happy!

Many of the episodes feel episodic in nature and sometimes can serve as standalones. While the first half might look like it is continuous, that is only because it takes place during the development of the restricted rock-paper-scissors game. Thanks to this format style, each episode is fun to watch as we see Tonegawa’s struggles trying to get things done all for Hyoudou and ultimately for his own career advancement. But I suppose to avoid this series to be boring and solely on Tonegawa, I didn’t see this coming as the second half introduces Ootsuki as the other regular. Should have also added another title for the second half: The Excursion Adventures Of Ootsuki!

In order to keep each episode fresh and funny, I noticed that a lot of exaggerated metaphors are used. Usually when Tonegawa or Ootsuki are deliberating and thinking-cum-analysing the outcome of certain actions. Some give us another perspective of how it is done and some can pass off as just funny. Like that metaphor of Tonegawa trying to run closely behind Kurosaki to avoid stepping on any mines or Ootsuki being depicted as Juliet but because of his stubby body, he looks freaking hideous in that blonde wig and oversized feminine dress! All in all, these metaphors are mostly fun to watch and it keeps us viewers amused because sometimes there would be a catch in it all when their plan backfires. In addition to all that, the narrator narrates in a very passionate and hip way like as though we are watching some variety show.

After watching this spinoff series, I can say that Tonegawa himself isn’t actually such a bad person. It is not that I am having Stockholm Syndrome or anything but watching this spinoff and the original Kaiji series, Tonegawa looks like a different person only because we do not know much about him. In the Kaiji series, he is painted as a bad guy thanks to the series’ nature despite his very short cameo. But after seeing what Tonegawa has gone through in this spinoff, it is for certain that he isn’t very much the villain that we all would think he is. After all, the big bad wolf is Hyoudou himself and as the big boss with the money to flaunt and influence others, everyone else is just ants working under him. Tonegawa is no different and is just an employee working for the big man himself. This is by no means that Tonegawa is a clean saint as he too has his fair share of being shady. But overall, this guy isn’t anywhere close to being the next Hitler or Pol Pot. But you have to also understand the company Tonegawa works for is already a shady one so he’s just doing his job. Sort of.

It is hard to say if Tonegawa would be a different man had he worked in a different company but assuming he has this same demeanour back in high school, probably this job fits him like a glove. To add to my previous paragraph about him not being a total bad guy, this guy is in fact quite a good role model in some ways too. Heck, he could be one of the best mentors ever too. He properly guides his men under his wing even at one point with their fashion sense! Sometimes he gives good advice when they are lost and while he is certainly no saint himself, he tries to give others a chance like the umpteenth chance for Ebitani to redeem himself and some returning hope to the transferred trio. After all that we have seen him, do we not still see him as somewhat a good guy if not at least a respected man in his own right? Of course sometimes things don’t go as planned so on occasion he still has to sing the blues. Just like how the last episode can spring a few surprises to Tonegawa about not even knowing certain stuffs about his men, the same can be said for us because it would never ever cross our minds that this guy had a girl confessed to him back in high school! This guy???!!! A girl. Had feelings. For him! OMG I’m so jealous!

The same can be said for Ootsuki who looks like a very practical and wise man. Yes, he is still a conniving, manipulative swindler and a conman in the underground camp but as we have also seen here, he is still not the biggest crook around. Well, you have only yourself to blame if you fall for his cons. After all, as long as nobody finds out, everything is fair game, right? His numerous excursions shows us that he is a man who knows how and what to appreciate. Given that he is stuck in the underground camp, he appreciates the very limited freedom given to him that most of us take for granted. We see him enjoy the best of what he wants with the limited amount of time. So it’s such an irony to see that the man with the least freedom has actually the most meaningful freedom than the rest of the free people living above ground. Work, eat, sleep, repeat cycle. How meaningful is that? It is no wonder that Numakawa and even MIB Miyamoto want to follow him around because this guy who is an ex-salesman knows things best. This is one of those moments were experience truly plays an important role. Uh huh. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

The other minor characters aren’t so impactful. Like those MIBs under Tonegawa, heck I still can’t remember the rest of their names except for Yamazaki and Saemonsaburou. Yeah, they don’t stand out like them since Yamazaki is like Tonegawa’s assistant for the team and Saemonsaburou being the youngest member has lots of creative ideas that makes him stand out from the rest of the rather monotonous MIB clones. Even some of the new ones joining the team didn’t make an impact but I guess the show is not about them. Especially Nishiguchi whom I thought would have more screen time as she is a very rare female MIB but I figure they’re not going to make her usurp Tonegawa. Others with similar small cameo sound like they have potential but not explored further. I believe again this is not to usurp Tonegawa and Ootsuki’s focus. Like Kurosaki or Odagiri who have this potential to threaten and derail Tonegawa and Ootsuki’s goal respectively. However they are treated like any other side characters and are side-lined once they have no part to play. Others are simply forgotten like… Remember that Hyoudou body double?! Yeah, we have forgotten about him, haven’t we? Masayan!!! Or that Yaotome guy? Where did he go after becoming Hyoudou’s balls carrier? And you might have already notice, the man Kaiji himself is missing and only making very limited cameos in future flashbacks. So you could say that life was pretty fair to Tonegawa and Ootsuki until they crossed paths with Kaiji. We need another season to follow up what happened to them!

The art and animation maintain their same trademark and style as we see in Kaiji. The characters with strange blocky designs especially the broad blocky or sharp pointy nose of many characters as well as their square jawbones that serve to remind me of those old DC cartoons. After all, Madhouse who animated the Kaiji series continued their hands in this one so it’s no surprise the consistency of the animation is still there. At least this time we see ‘a lot more’ female characters but thanks to the nature and art style, they too look weird. Uh huh. Hey, don’t blame me. My standards for cute kawaii bishoujos are pretty high! I think. And one of the funny things I noticed that all the MIBs continue to wear their black sunglasses whether it is on their day off or they’ve been fired. It’s like the trademark that defines them always. So much so I’ve been thinking it is part of their face now.

Sassou to Hashiru Tonegawa-kun by Gesu No Kiwami Otome tries to sound like the song for this spinoff. However I didn’t like it very much as it sounds flat especially the singer voice who sounds like he is on Auto-Tune all the time. Maybe had they sing it with some passion and emotion, it might have sounded a bit better. Maybe. Hence I prefer very much the first ending theme, Oki Tegami by Pistol Takehara. Because it has this edgy and grunge feel that compliments the singer’s husky voice and the guitar strumming accompaniment, it makes it quite the catchy song. The second ending theme is also not bad, Kyougen Mawashi by Noisycell. There is a bit of hip hop element in this rock piece and is catchy in its own right.

Overall, this series is enjoyable and fun to watch even if you didn’t watch the original Kaiji series. But you’d be able to appreciate and understand better if you did. Thanks to the 2 main characters, they are the selling points in making the series itself is funny and witty as it really shows that there is always 2 sides to a coin. As we can see this spinoff shows the lighter side of these characters, it is probably more brutal and unforgiving if we are to see them seriously in their work especially in the gambling and money lending business. But then again, this is how the world works. Some people have to suffer just for the entertainment of others. Thank goodness I’m on the side of enjoying this one ;p. Yeah, “I’m lovin’ it”, this series, that is. Zawa… Zawa… So can we have another season of Kaiji? Zawa… Zawa…

HIDOI SUGIRU DESU YO!!!!!!!! Oh wow. Just when you thought it had ended, here’s more of it. I’m talking about Seitokai Yakuindomo S2 OVA! It has been many years since the second season ended but subsequently they released more episodes in the OVA format but in very random and unequal intervals. Making it even worse is the numbering of these subsequent OVAs. Because the movie somewhat ‘ruined’ it and there is a hell lot of confusion about the numbering. So episodes 20 and 21 are labelled as the movie, huh? Yeah, I didn’t see that movie. But I’m sure I won’t lose much. I hope. Oh dear. With those numbers thrown in to represent the movie, I’ll just accept and go with that since that is what the label of these OVA episodes that I’m going to watch said. So more dirty sex jokes, huh? Okay. Bring it on!

OVA 22
* Hata suggesting some sort of flag to be triggered with Tsuda. Stuffing a flag in his ass, that is!
* Tsuda and his girls are out. They see Uomi manning a fast food joint. Better order quickly before Shino and Aria sexualizes the food. Like the hot dog…
* Everyone takes turn singing the karaoke and each has some sort of comment for each other. Like for Aria, Shino wants her to sing slower songs because lively songs make her boobs gyrate!
* The girls help Tsuda clean the boys’ toilet? Though Tsuda explains the bull’s eye mark on the urinals, Shino turns up a notch by putting a certain ‘hole’ in its place!
* Tsuda asks Aria why girls pat their cheek when they put face cream. To increase blood circulation. However Shino misinterprets the whole line, slapping a girl’s cheek with your meat stick to improve circulation and make it longer.
* The clubs show their receipt to the student council for reimbursement. Leave it to the usual suspects to sexualize them. But the robotics club is actually buying parts to make a hermaphrodite android?!
* Shino conducts a spot check on her fellow student council members. So Aria bringing in this weird dildo is okay but Tsuda bringing in a manga is not just because it is educational?
* We see the gang at the aquarium (supposedly some leftover clips from the movie). Yeah, making some comments about some sea life. Like squid tentacles… And otters hinting about lesbian sex?
* Mori can’t swim. And since pool season is around the corner, she fears practising among the people she knows. Don’t worry. Uomi has arranged to practice at Ousai’s pool. You bet the perverts are going to make some dirty pool jokes. Like Aria, because she can’t fit into the inflatable tube (due to her big boobs), she considers it useless! Uomi and Shino force feed Tsuda. Looks like he is choking but they start posing in sexy moves so as to make him salivate and swallow better. Wouldn’t the tea be easier? In the end and after a year later, Mori is now able to show others how much she has grown. Yup, her boobs have grown the most!
* As Tsuda walks home, he sees Shino waiting for him at the gates. Knowing what comes next, he turns around! Shino had to call him out! True enough, she was going to make a sex joke. She apologizes but can’t help stop make dirty jokes. Those tears supposed to convince us? Likewise, Tsuda also admits he can’t stop playing the straight man. So they deserve each other? In this supposed next scene to shock us, Shino suddenly hugs him from the back! But it is just to twist his nipples as he doesn’t plan to walk home with her! Yeah, didn’t see that coming!

OVA 23
* Tsuda accidentally breaks an art sculpture while cleaning up. Don’t worry, it’s cheap. He can help glue it back. As he does so, Igarashi thought she saw blood on his hand and quickly grabs it. Turns out it is glue and now their hands are stuck. Oh no. Bad timing as Shino and Aria are coming in. Pretend to arm wrestle! The solution is to use hot water but now they’ve a meeting. And it becomes awkward as the duo attend the meeting with their hands held all the time. After boiling the water, because the vibe is so good between them, jealous Shino just nonchalantly pours the hot water over Tsuda’s hand.
* Kotomi is looking for new experience so she ends up being the judo club’s manager. She makes her big blunder when she washes the club members’ panties while they’re bathing. Because of that they have nothing to wear on their way home. That’s not the worse part. The way she explains to Shino how everyone’s panties got wet needs further explanation!
* Kenji Yanagimoto of the film club does an audition to find a lead role for his movie that he plans to submit for a competition. Shino is the first one to go. Acting out a scene with Tsuda whereby he has his arms around her from her back, because she is nervous, she screams something hard is touching her (his hands) but this gives everybody the greatest misunderstanding. Mitsuba is so athletic that she the cast decides to cast her as the stunt woman. In the end, Suzu is chosen as the lead because of her height. Haven’t you heard? The male and female leads are actually siblings and the film is about a previously all-girls’ school turned co-ed. Sibling hilarity in every moment guaranteed. There is this one very steamy scene in which Tsuda is on top of Shino in bed. Once more she gets anxious and her calf cramps up. She screams in pain and everybody misunderstands Tsuda entered her!!! Filming finally ends and a tired Shino leans on Tsuda’s shoulder and falls asleep.
* When Uomi has this tall volleyball girl, Yuu Hirose to pick some box at the top shelf, this is part of her plan to ask her to join the student council body. Hirose has no qualms as she is often mistaken to be a boy. Despite agreeing to join, she is more of a ghost member since Uomi gave her permission to attend her club duties first. So whenever she needs to attend student council meetings, Hirose will just give excuse that she just needs to take a dump!
* Hirose is introduced to Ousai’s student council body. Hirose offers Tsuda to test her to see that she is a real woman. And by that she means touching her throat. See, no Adam’s apple! And with Suzu conscious about their height difference, she claims she too has ‘grown’ and recites the digits of pi!
* Yanagimoto’s film manage to win a prize as we see snippets of the film’s trailer. Looks okay to me… But no release date of this film yet!
* Tsuda is embarrassed to hear his voice recorded in the film. But Shino and Aria misheard that as Tsuda’s voice of shame! It doesn’t help when Todoroki mixes and replays ambiguous lines of his…

OVA 24
* Dejima has the gang go on a mystery tour. While riding the bus, Uomi takes off her socks so as to prevent blood clot. Kotomi panics and tries to take hers off too but the perverts at the back think she is trying to take off her panties.
* The bus supposedly breaks down and conveniently there is a mansion nearby for them to stay. Isn’t the master the bus driver? Lack of actors, huh? Tsuda notices a note in his room to play the culprit. You bet this is going to be a hard time for him because soon Shino screams and claims someone stole her panties!
* So everyone gathers around to deduce and investigate. Uomi takes this chance to snuggle close to Tsuda, claiming Shino won’t be targeted again. Shino vows to keep a watchful eye on them but Uomi distracts her with a dildo…
* Panty thief strikes again with Kotomi being the victim this time. The rest deduce Tsuda can’t be the culprit because doing so makes him a pervert.
* During dinner, the culprit leaves a clue when to strike next. Shino deduces the message and what the heck everyone is scared that the next target is H-cup size? That’s scary indeed. When midnight strikes, a short blackout occurs and this time Suzu realizes her bra is gone!
* Tsuda then deduces as he claims he was being framed as the culprit. His conclusion leads to Dejima being the culprit. True enough she admits. Know she is looking forward to be punished… Everyone is glad this mystery over but one tiny little issue… Can we have our panties back?!
* The student council has an interview with clubs to conduct a community report meeting. Some of them have ulterior motives like Hata, had Suzu not spot that ‘typo’, she would have published some erotic article.
* As Uomi has got the flu, she lost her voice. Since Mori can imitate her voice, she is tasked to speak on her behalf for the day. But beware those ambiguous place cards that she writes… Read carefully before you speak! Sometimes her writing is unreadable so Hirose tries to help out but her handwriting is even worse! When Tsuda calls and Uomi has Mori take her call, Tsuda can tell it is Mori right away. This has his student council girls very suspicious how he can recognize girls’ voice easily on the phone.
* Shino thought it is Tsuda in this mascot outfit so she takes him to talk about things. Then this important part where she promises there is no dirty joke and will tell it to him seriously. However she gets nervous and a voice tells her to go ahead and say it. Turns out the person underneath this mascot is the principal! Substituting for Tsuda? Shino is reeling from embarrassment as the real Tsuda shows up. This makes Shino even more embarrassed. But as she tries to back out, the principal tries to motivate to say her feelings. To deny that is to deny his existence! This has Shino sum up her courage as she approaches Tsuda. Finally the moment we have been waiting for? Go ahead, Shino. Say what you really want to say to him. Is that a bulge in your pants?! WTF???!!! YOU MESSED UP, GIRL!!! No wonder Tsuda walks away disappointed. Maybe next time, huh? The principal asks why she couldn’t convey her true feelings. Simple. Shino blames puberty.

It’s Always Spring For Puberty & Dirty Jokes!
Yeah… Guess what? There is going to be another OVA in the second half of 2020 coming! So you bet I’m still going to stick around and watch since I wasn’t patient enough to let the next OVA come out and watch all at one go. I mean, what difference does it make? It’s not like I remember everything about this series, right? Just a bunch horny female characters (and a really short one) and a guy who retorts them all. So I can definitely guarantee you that I’ll be around then to watch the next OVA. And I won’t be surprised that won’t be the last. After all, this series having produced such irregular OVA episodes just shows that dirty sex jokes can never die. It is truly a 24/7 and 365 days all year round spectacle. I guess that is why we never grow old and tired of dirty jokes and memes, huh?

Basically I can’t say or add anything much (because I don’t remember much either) but I suppose the characters here continue to stay true to their character. Perverts never change. The straight man stays the straight man and maintains that role till the day he dies (or the producers decide to stop producing this series anymore). And the shorty still can’t manage to grow an inch! Hey, at least she has a high IQ and able to recite digits of the pi! Not sure if we are disappointed or relieved that Shino was about to confess to Tsuda but failed spectacularly. It feels like the end goal of the series but I have this gut feeling that if that ever becomes true, it will change everything. Nothing will be the same. Despite me saying that these characters don’t change. Imagine true love changing the perverts’ nature into decent ones. But nothing like a good ol’ dirty joke to bring everyone back to where they are, huh? When we were young, sex jokes are off limits and are for adults. But when we become adults, sex jokes are considered childish. So is there ever a good time for making dirty jokes? SYD screws all that because there is no restricted TPO for sex jokes. Anytime, anywhere. If a sex joke is ready to fly, let it fly! Now hand me the next OVA release!

Mamma Mia! Mothers to the fore! I guess it is time for mothers to take the lead instead of having hot teenage chicks, be it your sister or childhood friend. Hey. Moms can be equally cool too, you know?! If Tsuujou Kougeki Ga Zentai Kougeki De Nikai Kougeki No Okaasan Wa Suki Desu Ka is too freaking long and a mouthful for you to pronounce, Okaa-san Online should be good enough. So what is ‘worse’ than having your mom tell you to stop playing video games and go outside? Why, mom following you around and playing a video game with you! Yes, people. Who is this unlucky kid who has got his mom following him in his party to slay monsters and raid dungeons in this VR RPG game? I’m sure he’ll never want to remember this ‘dark’ period in his childhood. Imagine trying to be the cool hero and then mom shows up to say or do something. Sighs… But mom!!!!! “Sonny, do you like mummy’s normal full powered double multiple attacks?”. MOOOOM!!!!!

Episode 1
Masato Oosuki is answering a questionnaire about his relationship about his mom. Nothing special, really. WTF kind of questionnaire is that? Despite Mamako treating him nicely, he is that typical so who is embarrassed by her. Next day, Masumi Shirase comes by to inform him of some big news. Due to the government’s survey of online players, they would love to enter the video game world. Since Masato agrees, immediately Shirase keys in some secret passcode and has him enter the video game world! Awesome technology?! Masato is happy to start his adventuring days. Only, Mamako is also here to adventure with him! WTF?! Before they king, they are given their roles. Masato as a normal hero and Mamako, uhm, is hero’s mother a real role? A little briefing how this is just a beta testing game but since Mamako is very alien to all the terms, she is given a manual to read up. Don’t embarrass your son… The king lets them choose some weapons. Usually reserved for those clearing hard quests but young punks these days have no patience and won’t play your game if you don’t give them cool items… After Masato chooses one, Mamako chooses the remaining 2! It would be sad just to leave one alone, right? During the battle tutorial, Mamako owns the monsters! Masato hardly brings down a little bird. Can’t believe mom is doing better than him! Don’t worry, mom still loves you a lot. Masato starts complaining and even pinpointing it is all because she tagged along. Don’t make mom mad. Why, he even runs his mouth to spill the secret deal with Shirase or else he will disown her! OMFG! Ungrateful son you just made your mom cry!!! WTF???!!! She feels so hurt and sad with that statement and doesn’t really know what is going on. At least he has a conscious to apologize for saying too much. Masato agrees to let mom tag along and in the kingdom of Mommalia (really?), they need to join a guild first. Mamako makes a flashy destructive move so as others won’t look down upon them? Hey, it’s written here in the manual. Masato is worried about PK (player killing) but luckily the only damage done is to an NPC desk woman (Shirase?). She helps selects the best players for Masato. Why, aren’t they all hot chicks? Are these his type? And of course, the question that every mom will ask her son: Which one he likes best. Long story short, she sees this girl as his potential life partner whom he will share his life with. See where this is going? Yup, she is going to interview the girls!

Episode 2
As expected, Mamako rejects them all! Next is a timid girl, Porta. She is a merchant and non-combatant. Because Mamako thinks she is good in making deals and getting freebies, looks like she promotes her right away from party member to Masato’s wife! Woah! One step at a time, mom! Next is a poster of a sage named Wise. Her stats aren’t that good and she smells like trouble. Masato gets rid of the poster but it always returns. Until he steps on it that the poster screams in pain. Turns out she is disguising as one and as punishment, teleports him away so as to step back on his face. I suppose the reason he isn’t complaining is because he gets to see he pantsu… Wise is also a beta tester. She reveals the true intention of this game is for the parents to make up with their child. This is why his mom tagged along. The only way to clear the game is for them to improve their relationship. Apparently Wise and her mom were also in this game but they had a fight and split. She has been adventuring alone since and trapped. She hopes to become Mamako’s child and get out. Soon, Mamako finds them but not after Wise is put into prison because her dangerous teleporting could be seen as PK. Although Mamako cannot accept Wise as her child, she will allow her to travel with them in hopes she could find her mom. But Wise remains stubborn and would rather have the world destroyed than reconcile with mom. But with Masato claiming he needs her magic, that’s the deal that got her to join them. Their first travel has them fall into some pit that leads to an underground dungeon. Attack of the slimes! When Wise tries to use her magic, she freezes. Looks like her magic is sealed. Mamako destroys it and levels up but the slimes return and combine into a larger monster. When it attacks, Masato saves mom and despite both ended up getting slimed, only Mamako’s clothes disintegrate! So slippery that Masato can’t get up and has his face planted in mama’s boobs! Rejoice, viewers! Your MILF fanservice is here!!! Porta helps Wise disables some bad stats of her to able her to use magic. This allows Mamako to get her vengeance back on the slime. More fanservice with Mamako in naked apron. Is this our reward? After the slime defeat, a nun (Shirase?) rises from a coffin. In recognition of defeating the monster, she has them go on a special quest at a small farming village, Maman.

Episode 3
As they go buy equipment, Masato dreads this bikini armour. The last person he wants to see them on, yup, Mamako puts it on. But for the rest of us, itadakimasu! I guess the shop is having cheap sale so she bought a few more. This has Masato reprimanding her for being carefree. Damn, you trying to make mama cry again?! With the girls calming him down, he realizes he was only taking out his frustrations on her. This time they manage to make up with Mamako letting her son lie on her lap while she digs his ears while talking things out. Nothing beats this mom and son bonding. In Maman, they meet the mayor who tells them of their grave situation. A powerful with named Night Empress is forcing the town to hand over their most handsome and macho men or else. Hearing him describe her other qualities, Wise knows who this b*tch is. We take a detour as we see Masato’s party soak in a hotspring. No gender segregation? I guess with (naked) mom around, no funny business. Almost the cliché scene whereby Masato sees Wise’s naked body and is expecting a Team Rocket blast off into the sky treatment but reverse psychology! She won’t do it thinking he is a pervert who is expecting one! Meanwhile we see Shirase confronting Night Empress using her macho men as furniture. As she is an irregular, Shirase tries to purge her but Night Empress has a more powerful programming and purges Shirase instead. Before she is ejected, Shirase warns her daughter is nearby and if she has any plans to reconcile with her. None. She doesn’t need that girl. Masato can tell something is wrong when Wise is talking strangely and knows a lot about Night Empress. The only way to end this stubborn scene is a highly suggestive and ambiguous position of Masato slipping and falling onto her, making it look like he is taking her from the back! Serious business, Wise admits Night Empress is her mom. In the real world, mom loves to spend money on host clubs. Wise’s real name is Genya and is named after one of her favourite hosts. This habit led to her parents being divorced. Though Wise lives with her father, one day mom marches back in with a pretence to get back together with this game. Everything happened so fast and they ended up here. But since mom discovered she was so powerful, she decided to stay here and do things her way. This caused them to argue and split up. Wise envies Masato’s family so Mamako has her hug her. Feels like the warm mama’s hug she needs but not quite her mom’s. With that, they vow to make Night Empress remember her motherly bond with her child.

Episode 4
Wise revives Shirase who in turn tells them about Night Empress. Her real name is Kazuno and she is a sage like Wise. Like them who receive bonuses before they start their mission, Kazuno receives all the magic spells. But her greed led her to pursue her own disgusting hobbies and for some reason she has some invincibility that isn’t part of the game. Hence she might have brought in some cheat code. Cheaters like her will be heavily penalized. A huge fine, that is. The conclusion of the quest is when they can bring Wise and Kazuno closer. Shirase uses her admin privileges to summon Kazuno. Not in the mood to talk, she quickly attacks with her range of spells. She has also used her cheat code to move objects in the game to trap Mamako and Porta. Then in this room where she claims she can make any of her wish come true, she claims she can rule both the online and offline world. When Wise tells her to stop this nonsense, Kazuno reminds her this is all her fault. Initially when Kazuno got this game, she earnestly wanted to reconcile with her but Wise rejected her. Kazuno says the worst thing a child could hear: She regrets giving birth to her. Masato is somewhat the same too because he too isn’t all that fond of his mom. He too has his selfishness as a child. He hopes she can forgive Wise and not abandon her. His advice falls on deaf ears. Mamako breaks out from her entrapment. Illuminating like a goddess, Mamako remembers all the joy Masato brings including all his firsts. If Kazuno will not remember those feelings as a mother, she’ll make her. Masato’s party do a combo to take Kazuno down as Mamako lectures her about children despite being burdensome, they are irreplaceable treasures. Kazuno is losing and she hates it. Now she is throwing a tantrum like a kid until she finally loses. Wise admits despite saying hurtful things, she still loves her because she is her mom. After that it descends into a full blown mother-daughter argument. Uhm, I guess this is normal and how the family talks? In the aftermath, despite Kazuno already logged out, why is still Wise following Masato’s party? Oh, she wants to stay with them thinking the party needs her? You mean to say she needs somebody? I think Mamako can pick up what she means… We’ll see. Shirase informs them of another quest to do. Heck, she wants them to complete all the quests. So you mean to say they’re like cleaning up whatever mess the government makes?

Episode 5
With Mamako again taking the spotlight, this demoralizes Masato and Wise that they should be stronger. But don’t fear. Pamphlets about a school in Maternia where they can get stronger. With Mamako’s blessings, off they go. Masato is happy to meet this pretty chick, Medhi. Unfortunately she has an overbearing mom who keeps praising her daughter and everybody else as second class. Is this the obstacle in Masato’s love life? In class, Masato fears the other new transfer student is his mom but it turns out to be Medhi. Hence everyone teases him he sees mom in every other girl! Embarrassing! Worse, Medhi introduces herself that she is NOT Masato’s mom! Don’t you just want to die? But it won’t get worse than this since Medhi’s mom is also sitting in as an observer. Can they do that? As the teacher asks questions, the first to answer will be awarded points. It seems Medhi’s mom is using a trick to make everyone except her daughter answer. To the point in putting them to sleep. Yeah, she’s bragging about how she wants the best for her daughter, blah, blah, blah. Later Masato receives a note that a heroine is waiting for him. No surprise. Not even him. It’s Mamako. Saw this coming. So why is she here? Shirase will explain. As this school was quickly constructed to ward off overbearing parents, it has lots of bugs. Since Shirase lured them here, it is their mission to handle problems between parents and children that the game master can’t. Next class starts and Mamako is a student?! Masato manages to intervene to make mom an observer. Medhi’s mom tries to throw her weight and authority around but Mamako isn’t fazed and this throws Medhi’s mom off. During Q&A, Medhi’s mom is up to her usual tricks but thanks to Mamako’s equipment, it nullifies all negative effects. Mamako then answers the questions with equally ridiculous motherly love answers and gets extra points! This goes on for a few times and Masato is so embarrassed because his name is somewhat dragged into those questions. Please stop. At the end of the day, Mamako scores the most points. Medhi’s mom is not pleased and wants to have a strict talk with Medhi. Everybody else got zero and Masato dreads his mom stealing the spotlight again.

Episode 6
Masato’s lovely walk to school with Medhi is ruined when Mamako joins in. Even more so when Medhi’s mom has now get herself the school uniform. During cooking class, once more she puts a spell to make everybody’s food taste bad while her daughter’s to appear and look good. But with Mamako blowing her special mom’s breath of love, you bet this nullifies the effects. With Masato’s party getting top points, Medhi is refrained by her mom to even praise them. If you’re wondering why Shirase is sexily molesting Mamako, it’s to take her measurements. Because Masato saw this worst nightmare come true. It’s swimming class! Masato literally wants to die… Which son would love to see his mom in a swimsuit? But what’s worse than a mother in a swimsuit? Why, 2 mothers! Too bad all the NPC guys are all over Mamako’s traditional school swimsuit over Medhi’s mom’s sexy one. You lost, bad mama. In this class, students earn points by killing monsters in the pool. Until the ultimate fish turns up that Masato and Medhi are in competition to take it down. While Mamako doesn’t care about standings and is only worried if her boy will get injured, Medhi’s mom is pressuring her daughter to be number one. The last straw as Medhi snaps when mom tells her she must become number one or else she is worthless. Medhi just stops. Suddenly a giant sea anemone pops up. Only Mamako gets tentacle raped?! Damn anemone has MILF fetish… Porta throws Mamako her sword to cut herself loose before Masato finishing it off. This earns Masato big points. The happy celebration is cut short when Medhi’s mom slaps her daughter for being worthless. Back to more training for you girl. This is for your sake. Tearful Medhi runs away. Time for the hero to go after the girl. Make that, the hero and his mom. Both have noted Medhi sometimes acting strangely and saying strange stuffs behind her mom’s back. It couldn’t be truer when they see a frustrated Medhi kicking the wall and cursing mama to death.

Episode 7
Group meeting. Masato wants to help Medhi and her mom since he knows how it feels to have problems with a mother and not know what to do. It is the school’s cultural festival so they are free to do what they want. When Masato’s side wants to do a café, Medhi’s mom also wants to do the same and challenges who could do better. Obviously we see a long queue outside Mamako’s café. Everyone is waiting for Mamako’s cooking! None for Medhi’s mom. Hence she forces Medhi to switch from a maid to a swimsuit (WTF???!!! WHY???!!!) to attract more customers. Masato happened to pass by so Medhi’s mom ‘kills’ him. He turns into a ghost and he is able to hear her evil scheme to force Medhi to seduce him so that she could control and then ruin Mamako’s café. After Masato revives, Medhi is in seductive mode but Masato knows what’s going on and isn’t taking the bait. Medhi drops the act but before she could badmouth her mom, yeah mom pops up. Masato pleads for her to stop this but she thinks she can still win. Yeah, this beauty contest! Medhi ranks first since all the guys love this cute clumsy girl. Wise tries to be clumsy but nobody likes it. Then Mamako comes up on stage to promote her café and since all the guys love girls who cook, her ratings shoot through the roof! Literally, it’s over 999!!! As Mamako is being crowned, Masato takes Medhi to talk. With the other girls, they ask her what she really wants to do. She wants to enjoy her school life but is afraid she has no friends. On the contrary, Masato and co confirm they are her friends. Enough to break Medhi down in tears while she screams out her heart’s desire to have fun with her friends. You can bet on her mom to cut short that as she strangles her daughter! Before she could beat her, Mamako gets in the way. She understands mothers want the best for their child. But is it right to push Medhi so hard that it makes her suffer? According to Medhi’s mom, yes. She has to be number one so that she can say she is the best mom. So it’s basically all for herself. This is the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Medhi has truly had it. She thought of putting up with all the tormenting thinking mom as doing it for her. Now it’s all about herself, well screw it all! This betrayal has Medhi unleash all her magic that it turns her into a monster.

Episode 8
Even when Medhi is mad, mama calls her disgusting and ugly. She blames Masato and co for ruining everything. The kids head off to handle Medhi while the mothers settle things. Their ideals clash on how to raise a child. But of course you know Mamako will have the edge when she starts illuminating like a goddess and saying how parents should raise their kids to become wonderful adults! This causes Medhi’s mom to feel guilty over what she has done. She realizes she has always loved Medhi and now she is in danger. She tries to talk some sense into Medhi but obviously her girl doesn’t believe her lies anymore. Too late to play nice. Mom praises her for doing all she has asked despite never liking it. Masato feels Medhi’s mom’s sincerity so he too steps in to protect her from Medhi’s attack. Wise has finally finished drinking bottles after bottles of MPs as she blasts Medhi into the air. When the sceptre tries to protect Medhi, Mamako unleashes her powerful attack to break it. This frees Medhi as both mother and daughter emotionally reunite and reconcile. It is believed the sceptre has been causing Medhi’s mom to act strangely. Because she wanted to become a good mom, the sceptre enhanced that wish to the extreme. When she signed up for this game, all she wanted was to get back on good terms with Medhi because she knew she was putting a lot of stress on her. She just wanted her daughter to grow up to be a good person but she ended up being the worst mother. As the class graduates, Masato offers the pair to join their party but Medhi’s mom decides to log out and erase her dark legacy, a blog she wrote on how to raise children. After today’s lesson, she’s going to take it down. As for Medhi, she gives her a choice to stay and she definitely wants to continue adventuring with Masato. But can a parent and child log out separately? Well, Shirase says Wise already set a precedent. I guess it’s not yet for Masato, huh? Shirase rewards them with many bonuses in which they can spin to get special items. Unfortunately Masato got lots of HPs and Wise lots of MPs. Medhi will be keeping hers to boost her stats later and Porta might be the only winner getting what she wanted (a teddy bear). Masato gets an extra spin for solving this mother-daughter issue. Will he get a super rare item? Nope. Just a mother’s apron! Hey, at least not naked apron Mamako! Hey, has Masato succumbed to liking seeing mom in this?!

Episode 9
Mamako answering survey questions about her relationship with Masato. All is well! I’m sure Masato never felt that way… He tries to take out his frustrations by destroying a wave of monsters but Mamako takes it out as usual. Then there is a poster about a dungeon tower whereby anyone who clears it will get whatever wish they want. Sounds like a scam but whatever, let’s check it out. But outside the tower, there are lots of disgruntled moms complaining about their lost kids. They try to ask Shirase but she too has no clue what is going on. They head into the tower to investigate. Looks like an easy tower with Mamako being friends with the monsters and stepping on plates give you certain power ups. Oddly, there seems to be a weird rivalry going on between Wise and Medhi because Medhi wants to take out Wise so she can be the party’s only caster. Reaching a certain level, they stumble into Amante. She claims she is one of the leaders of the group called Ribele. They are made up of kids who have rebelled against their mothers. Noticing Mamako is in this group, Amante feels scared and retreats to form a plan. Though, she believes a small party like them can’t clear this tower. Mamako’s group returns outside and with Amante’s info, Shirase has a gist of what is happening. As there is no in-game event like this, she believes somebody is trying to cause a rift between parents and children. Ribele could be behind this and Shirase recognized some of the kids in the group from the database who joined Ribele. The plan now is the increase their party size and it is suggested they form a guild and recruit members. So this rundown building will be their guild’s base? Yeah, Mamako took the liberty to name it Mommy Guild! And now she’s the guild master? Yes, Momaster! What a mouthful to pronounce! Shirase also left them with presents while she goes to investigate. Maid outfits!!! I APPROVE!!! While Mamako and Wise clean up their guild, Medhi and Porta go shopping and Masato is left why he is forced to carry the bags when they have Porta’s infinite bag. They stumble into Amante shopping too. But Medhi mocks her slip ups so badly that Amante starts crying!!! Enough for her to reveal she sent an assassin to their guild. The rest doesn’t think this would be any trouble since Mamako is there. Yeah, it’s the Mamako we’re talking about. Suddenly Wise teleports in to request for help because Mamako is losing. Say what?! No way?! Mamako losing?! Oh sh*t! This must be real serious trouble!

Episode 10
It seems Mamako is losing to… A salesman?! She can’t help with all the good offers and gives in whenever Masato’s name is mentioned. Although she is stopped, the salesman quickly flees and the crystal ball he left behind is a bomb. It’s going to explode! But wait! Mamako calms it down like a baby! Can it work? You bet! Come to think of it, crying babies and bombs are like the same! Later Amante shows up just to complain how they foiled her assassination plans. Yup, she even admits she was the one behind it and even sent another one. Oh, the guild just exploded. Returning, Amante’s men are the one behind this, they claim they have also placed bombs all over town and they must do their bidding to avoid casualties. So they want maid service, huh? Mamako in maid outfit? I APPROVE!!!! Damn she looks hot! And when she serves them fried rice, it makes them nostalgic about their mom’s cooking. Eat up, boys. Next they want ‘bed service’. Mamako pulls a blanket over them and sings a lullaby till they sleep! What were you expecting? More nostalgic mama moments for them. In the end, the guys feel bad for everything they did and will go disarm the bombs around town. Power of mother’s love! And even later, Amante drops by to complain about yet another failed attempt. Care to reveal more stuffs? Not only they get to tease her but she bloopers and embarrassed herself on the exit. Next day, it seems the other mothers are grateful for what they did for their kids. They intend to join their guild to help clear the tower. Though, their kids won’t be joining as they will be doing something else. You could say this is the mother of all guilds! As they arrive outside the tower, the mothers realize they left their windows open and worry about the recent robberies in the area. They want to be sent home otherwise will Masato take responsibility? And so he leaves Wise to teleport them all back. Meanwhile Amante has been waiting inside the tower for them to show up. Yeah, she’s ready to bomb the hell out of them but as expected, she bloopers and accidentally presses the detonator. Boom! And Masato is still waiting for all the moms to finish their stuff outside… This is going to take a while before the mission can even start…

Episode 11
Finally. Can we get this tower climbing started? Amante has set a trap for the entourage but because they never came, she clumsily sets off the trap herself. Then she goes down to see what’s taking them so long and they’re having a picnic?! Just done. Time to wash the dishes. Chotto matte! Amante challenges Mamako to see who can wash the dishes faster. While Amante is good, Mamako uses her magic! Instant cleaning! Hey, nobody say how you’re supposed to get them cleaned, right? Next challenge? Wash clothes. Masato’s clothes. Again, Mamako wins because of her magic. Maybe next time, huh? As the gang make their way up, they step on plates that make their body feel lighter. That’s because their clothes are gone and only left in their underwear! Oh dear… Masato has to see his mom in her undies! Ironically, Masato is the only one who is embarrassed for being semi-naked while all the other girls and moms are cool. But this also means they have no defence against the enemies. And before them now is… Oh, just stupid Amante. However she unleashes monsters to fight them. However they recognize the monsters are Amante’s ex-men. She reveals while Mamako and the rest were fooling around, they were climbing the tower to fight her so she changed them into monsters. Oh no. Can mothers raise their hands against their sons? Good thing is that the monsters drop their weapons and won’t fight. But Amante unleashes another spell to turn them into vicious savages while she goes up to make her wish. While Medhi and Wise put some temporary confusing spell on them, Mamako tells the other moms how to tackle this issue. Yup. Just go do what mothers do best. And Saint Mamako shines so greatly that all the moms now don full armour. Full Mom-our?! With this, they are able to withstand the strongest attacks and also give the biggest hug that turn their sons back to normal. Behold the power of moms! Yeah, the most embarrassing moment that all kids don’t want their mom do. Even Masato gets this ‘hell’ himself. Can’t leave him out of the fun, can we? Once that embarrassing moment is done, the adventurers warn them about Amante’s wish: To erase all mothers from this world.

Episode 12
As they enter the next level, Masato realizes that he is separated from the rest. But he soon hears Mamako beckoning him. Knowing something is strange, he soon realizes it is a trap. There are other Mamako clones too but he ignores them. I can see why if 1 Mamako is already bad enough, how about hundreds of them! Of course being the true son he is, he can tell when his real mom comes to the rescue. That’s right. Mamako is going to scold them for scaring her precious. What if Masato comes to hate her?! Yeah, every mom’s worst nightmare. And with her beam of light, the clones are blasted away and they are reunited with the rest who also faced similar trials. In the final floor, they see Amante trying to break through the door. Amante starts fighting them. Because of her magic spell, she is able to repel any attack back at them. Amante then explains her reason of hating Mamako. As Masato is supposed to be on his own exciting adventure including gaining friends and even fall in love. He would have gotten all of that had Mamako not joined him. Thus she blames Mamako for stealing all that possibility and future. Uhm, still doesn’t explain why she hates her. Of course Masato doesn’t accept that explanation. Despite all the crazy and embarrassing things that have happened, he thought maybe that is what an adventure is. There are times when he was lost but mom was there to help him overcome it. Considering it all, it isn’t all that bad. With Amante still refusing to admit, it’s time for Mamako to do her specialty scolding. Yup, with this beam of light is made up of her motherly love. So it’s not an explosion but scolding? Yeah, doesn’t matter to the one being hit, right? Amante takes a direct hit but survives. With the door open, she hurries to make her wish. Not if Masato can wish faster. I can’t believe despite thinking on what to wish and then Mamako hinting about what Wise said before climbing the tower, Masato is still fast enough to wish for fresh eggs for everybody than Amante’s mother existence erasure?! Amante is in despair and fumbles away in tears. And now everybody gets to have fresh eggs! Shirase informs she found a dark jewel Amante was using. As it is unbroken, she will investigate it. But for now, she will have Mamako’s team on a new quest to defeat Ribele. Remember, there are 3 other members, right? I guess Masato can’t be more impatient to leave this town because everyone built a giant statue of Mamako to honour her for saving them! Masato might be irritated that mommy continues to cling to him but I guess she’s shining so brightly and it’s not that all bad.

Always Forever Momma’s Boy!
Aren’t mothers the best?! Uh huh. Despite the mind boggling wish of Amante wanting to erase mothers, I wonder if this will only translate inside the video game. Forgot that we’re still inside one big MMORPG? So if Amante really had her wish come true, would Mamako and other moms be kicked out of the game? I’m glad we won’t have to find that out because it would suck if Masato’s party continues to adventure without Mamako. He might be happy at first but I’m guessing he’ll soon be lamenting he wishes mommy was here adventuring with him! Nah! Maybe. Therefore for all you kids out there, appreciate your mom better today!

The story itself isn’t all that interesting nor is it original. They’re just using this virtual world video game so that we can see lots of ‘fantastical nonsense’ when mothers do their unbelievable motherly power to overcome ‘evil’. This series is supposed to see how Masato get back on good terms with Mamako but instead we get side-tracked and do other side missions like helping other kids and their moms. Better to do all this stuff inside a video game than in reality, which is so much harder. From the looks of it, they’re going to be playing this game for quite a while. Momma is away from reality at the moment, come back some time later!

As we can see, because of Mamako’s hot stunning looks, at first glance she looks more like a big sister than mother to Masato. Any ordinary person would have come to this sort of conclusion. Hey Masato, this your big sister? No, it’s my mom. Say what???!!! Sure, Mamako does motherly stuffs and cares a lot for her son but because of her youthful looks, she still passes off a lot more like a big sister than anything else. Worse still, I wonder if her parents who named her Mamako must be damn confident that she’ll grow up to be a mother. I know it’s a pun and but it just feels weird the more you think about it. You know, like calling your dog, Dog. Hence, my mom’s name is Mama. Strange… On a side note, I wonder if their father is called Papasuke or Papatarou… That would be just so bizarre!

Therefore you think that Masato could be the star of this series and leader of his party? Nope. Mamako. Masato feels a lot more like a follower and oddly plays the ‘straight man’ whenever mom does something ‘embarrassing’. But don’t worry. Even if Masato doesn’t look like the main protagonist of this anime, Mamako will always consider you as her number one! Everything she does, she puts her tender loving care and heart into it, all for the sake of her boy. Sometimes Masato doesn’t appreciate it because of the overwhelming embarrassment. I understand it’s natural and at most times he just wants ‘to die’. Remember that time that forced cliché moment of the slime disintegrating Mamako’s clothes that leads to that mother-son naked body rubbing fanservice? Are you freaking out now?! It might be easy for that scene to be fapping material for anybody but imagine if that was you mom… Not so fanservice-y now, huh? I wonder if this beta version is live stream. If so, Masato’s death by embarrassment will be compounded hundreds of times over.

I feel like this virtual game gives mothers extra powers and abilities because you see Mamako swinging her weapon’s powers so easily. And you thought your moms aren’t the kind who are good in video games. Noobs in video games. And then we see Mamako just swinging with ease, legendary weapons that probably needs seasoned players to grind and level up like hell but she does it with ease. All because of the power of being a mom! And that’s not just all. Whenever Mamako gives off some of her motherly love, it’s like it has some sort of God-like powers and Mamako is elevated to a saint because she starts shining and once again the mother of all powers has defeated and overcome evil! Don’t laugh. Mothers know best. That’s why no child no matter how bad he/she is, if they are a reasonable child, a mother’s love will surely bring them back to the right path. For once, it isn’t the power of friendship that saved the day but the power of, wait for it, motherly love! Mothers are never wrong! This series might look absurd putting Mamako as some awesome accidental gamer. But it won’t be in a few decades time when many mothers would also make great gamers. Yup. Once a gamer girl, now a gamer mom! Don’t you wish your mom is like Mamako? Uhm… On second thought, maybe not.

Though, Mamako isn’t always perfect herself as she has some flaws. Sometimes she could be a bit imposing on Masato but that is only because she wants the best for him. I mean, which mother doesn’t want the best for her child? Thus there are still lots of work in progress to be done between them. Ironically they could solve the issues of other mothers and their child but they can’t solve their own. I mean, it is proceeding fairly well but it is not at the rate like Wise and Medhi’s mom’s case. Their relationship at a point where they can log out of the game together. I suppose this is an excuse for the government to keep them adventuring together. Masato still complaining about this and that about mom, I guess he hasn’t fully accepted her yet. But you can tell he is slowly appreciating his mama better than before. Of course there are other cases whereby mothers abandon their child (Wise) or being over protective (Medhi) but at the end of the day, Mamako’s greatest motherhood guidance will bring even the worst of mothers back to the right path.

If Mamako really wields the power of motherly love that heals all (yes people, not her twin swords are her offensive weapons but her motherly love that also acts as the best defensive weapon), I wonder if this could help heal the toxic behaviour in online games. You know, those other games especially first person shooters? Imagine Mamako tagging along with Masato to play Call Of Duty, Overwatch, Fortnite, PUBG, etc. Who this f*cking whore???!!! Watch it, that’s my mom. Your mom? HAHAHAHAHA!!! And then sprinkle a little dust of motherly love and suddenly everybody loses their aggression and starts becoming more compassionate! Holy cow! The government might be using this game as an experiment to heal the rift between parent and child but if it has the positive effect to heal toxic online behaviours too, I’m all for it!

Not much to be said for the other characters. Masato, the loving son whom is Mamako’s greatest motivation to keep going. Just try not to embarrass him too much, okay? Then there is Wise and Medhi whom I thought at first would become love rivals for Masato but I guess they don’t want to ruin this motherly themed series with some cheesy romcom harem antic so that’s the end of that. Yeah, with Masato’s mom tagging along, I guess Mamako is in some ways old fashioned. No forbidden relationships while she is around. Hence Wise from a tsundere becomes some sort of a joker character thanks to Medhi being some dark sarcastic character ever since she joins the party. It’s like Medhi gets her kicks by mocking and teasing Wise. But towards the end I noticed Wise has wised up and even talks back to Medhi on the same level of sarcasm. Even if Wise isn’t the butt of those mockery, recently I notice this running joke of her drinking bottles after bottles of MP just to power up her ability. Is there no other way to level up her MP permanently? I wonder if Porta is an NPC because she doesn’t seem to have any mama issues since joining the party (it is hinted that she couldn’t say about her own mama, like as though she never existed). I guess with the party having hot chicks and hot mama chicks, we need a loli character. Her bag is supposedly like Doraemon’s 4D pocket and can pack anything into it but I hardly see this being used. At least she’s the only character who isn’t really sexualized.

Wise could have been the series’ only comic relief character had Amante not pop up in the final arc. They really write up her character to be a silly bumbling b*tch. No siree, we can’t have another young cute teenage girl becoming a badass antagonist. Hence to counter her evil wish of eliminating all mothers, they turn her into a clumsy fool who has a penchant of revealing all her intentions without even asking. It’s like you want to ask her if she really knows how to be a villain. She could have been a lot formidable had she been half as serious as seen in the final episode but I suppose her character is programmed written that way. Let’s just hope that the other 3 Ribele members aren’t as bungling a fool as her. Last but not least, Shirase as the game’s guide feels like she wants to live up to her namesake to just inform. As also the game admin, there’s this running joke to be killed off and revived in a coffin. This game’s bug is just freaking buggy and weird.

Art and animation aren’t the best there is that J.C. Staff has to offer. I guess when you have multiple series to do in the same season (particularly To Aru Kagaku No Accelerator, DanMachi S2 and Machikado Mazoku), you try you best with all the resources you can get. J.C. Staff being a huge company and a veteran in producing so many animes over the years, I guess they have the resources. Sometimes I see a drop in quality in certain scenes but with everything in this fantasy MMORPG so bright and colourful, they definitely want mothers to have a swell time here. And of course, you could have guessed the design of Mamako, she looks so young and pretty enough to be even Masato’s girlfriend. She isn’t the first anime mom to be designed in such a ‘misleading’ way. Uh huh. You have loli mothers too. So I guess Mamako looking like a teen isn’t all that bad especially when compared to other typical looking moms in here. You know, fat and wrinkles? The kind of look that makes you go, “Oh, she is surely a mom” stereotypic look. Now we can glee as we see Mamako’s various reactions from cutely pouting to heart-breaking cry. Best of all, Mamako’s lovely motherly smile, no?! And of course with Mamako being so hot and stunning and having a body that is to die for moms her age, this gives rise to the typical fanservice department in which we get to see Mamako in her lingerie in some scenes. Hence, giving us the greatest dilemma if we are going to fap to MILF material. I guess it’s okay if it is other people’s mom. NOT!

In the voice acting department, Ai Kayano perfectly takes on the role of Mamako. Her sweet voice makes her a perfect fit for the character. However, I think there is one other seiyuu whom I think would have been even fitting to take on Mamako: Kikuko Inoue! I believe she would have been perfect too and there will be a lot of reference to her famous line of forever being 17 years old. Yeah, it would’ve been so epic. I guess Ai Kayano would do. The other seiyuus I recognize is Satomi Arai as Shirase and Mai Nakahara as Medhi’s mom. At first I was so damn cocksure that Ayana Taketatsu was behind Porta’s voice. I mean, she is capable of doing that squeaky high pitched voice mode. Never was I in doubt. And then it came as a big shock. WTF?! Who the heck is Sayaka Harada?! I was in disbelief. I had to go look at numerous sources just to make sure that I didn’t make the mistake. Yup. It was my mistake. This is the same girl who is the voice of Chiya in Urara Meirocho, Mimika in Uchi No Maid Ga Uzasugiru and Chitose in Yuuragi-sou No Yuuna-san. Come to think of it, yeah it’s really her voice… I’m so ashamed…

The rest of the other casts are Haruki Ishiya as Masato (Tamotsu in Akiba’s Trip: The Animation), Sayumi Suzushiro as Wise (Oono in High Score Girl), Lynn as Medhi (titular character in Fuuka), Natsumi Fujiwara as Amante (Eddie in Satsuriku No Tenshi) and Ryouko Yuzuki as Kazuno (Sastsuki in Kill La Kill). The opening theme is Iyayo Iyayo Suki no Uchi by Spira Spica, a lively and upbeat anime pop rock. Generic but I guess it’s okay. But I love the ending theme better, Tsuujou Kougeki Ga Zentai Kougeki De Ni-kai Kougeki Mama by Ai Kayano. It has this retro tune to it, making it quite catchy overall. It is one of those songs that I would love to sing along. And perhaps moms too.

Overall, this anime might not sit well with some who don’t appreciate the crappy mom jokes and puns that permeate throughout this series. Are they saying that mother’s love is everywhere and you can’t escape them?! With some having mixed reviews of this anime, honestly though, I just purely enjoyed them because it’s funny (I wish the characters could forever keep dressing up as the maid). It’s not the best parenting anime out there because if you’re looking for a parent-child bonding, I still believe that series like Usagi Drop does it way better. I also doubt that this series would make you love your mom even more. I’m not saying this series would make you love your mom less because one might find it mediocre (or in extreme cases turn you into a fanatic MILF obsessed lover), just be a good child and that’s the best gift that you can give mom. So don’t get mad when mom calls you to put down that video game controller and come right down now for dinner. What do you mean you can’t pause an online game?! I’m on a freaking kill streak right now! You get your ass right down here now, young man! Don’t make me come up there, young man! But… MOOOOM!!!!! Yeah, aren’t moms great?

WTF?! WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST WATCH?! You know, I was interested to take a look at that Accelerator spinoff series and maybe get some cute hearto kyun~ seeing the weird relationship between Accelerator and Last Order. And boy, did I watch the wrong anime???!!! Because Uchi No Ko No Tame Naraba, Ore Wa Moshikashitara Maou Mo Taoseru Kamo Shirenai (Uchi No Musume if that’s a f*cking whole lot for you to pronounce – and it is!) feels like an alternate happy fantasy ever after version of To Aru Kagaku No Accelerator! Serious! But nope. It’s not the same anime. Totally different. You’ll notice that subtle similarity but it’s totally different, I guarantee. A lone adventurer guy finds a lost demon girl and decides to care for her. Lots of cute and adorable things happen along the way. Hmmm… SO CUTE!!! I LIKE IT!!! KAWAII SUGIRU!!!! ~KYUN <3!!!!!

Episode 1
After killing some monsters in the forest, Dale Reki rests up but a loli approaches him. He notices she is of a demon clan and is in a feeble state, Latina. He’s not the best communicating in her demon language but I guess he can go about enough for her to understand. As he feeds her his food (there, tamed her like a wild animal), he notices her broken horn. Normally demons with broken horns means they have committed a crime and banished. Latina then brings him to a corpse nearby. It is believed to be of her father’s. After burying her, can’t leave this loli all alone in the woods and invoke the wrath of lolicons so he brings her back to his town, Kreutz. Back in the bar run by his friend, Kenneth, he has Latina take a bath. She can’t wash herself hence an excuse to strip and wash her. Lolicons, you jealous? Some old clothes by Rita and ribbons to hide her horns. Dale and Rita try to find out anything on the news but nothing of this sort. Then Latina’s stomach growls. I guess it’s time to feed her. Dale ponders on his options to send Latina to the orphanage but it might not be a good idea since it is always underfunded. More loli goodness as Dale sleeps with her. But nothing happens thankfully. Until she has to bug him to go to the toilet. With Latina picking up some of their language, I suppose it is also right for Dale to bring her to the market and experience life. Dale continues to ponder. He doesn’t knows what is best for her and fighting monsters is what he is only good at. Sending her to the orphanage is out of the question too. So what’s the conclusion? Why, he is going adopt Latina to take care of her himself! Hooray! Today I got myself a loli!

Episode 2
Oh dear. Dale has to be gone for a job and he doesn’t want to leave Latina alone. Can’t bring her along too. Too dangerous. Damn, Latina is handling this calmer than you are! But in the care of Kenneth and Rita, I hope that calms his mind to get going. During that time, Latina somewhat helps with the bar. Wow. Everyone so impressed and anxious at the loli carrying the tray. Is she going to tip over with the tray? Nope. Phew. Thank goodness. Kawaii… Damn, all the macho men’s hearts are now stolen by Latina! Dale rushes back and is glad to see Latina. But not as glad she is to see him. As Latina spends more time in the bar, you can feel Dale is getting a bit jealous she is closer to others. When Kenneth goes out to do errands, Latina wants to come along. Normally Dale won’t allow her but he can’t say no to those puppy dog eyes. Unfortunately during the trip, Latina was so amazed by everything she got lost. Kenneth realizes too late and returns with the bad news. Time to hit the panic button. Yeah, everybody is going to do a massive search. Find our loli! Latina is found by a group of boys, Rudy, Marcel and Antony. They aren’t that rough but to Latina, they’re scary. They try to help her but she thinks they’re being rough. Luckily Chloe beats them up to remind them to be gentler. They are impressed when Latina uses healing magic on Marcel. With Latina’s smattering vocab, they figure out where she came from and escort her back there. Everybody is glad their cutie is back and safe as Latina goes around apologizing. But Dale is not around. Still out looking? Oh, he’ll be back… Speaking of the devil… Latina cries the moment she sees him as she fears he is mad. What?! Who the hell would be mad at such a cute loli?! They both reconcile as Latina never wants to be alone again. Yes, it’s you official confirmation she wants to be with him. Now there is a valid excuse for him to be with her instead of being called a lolicon! We’re going to stay together forever!

Episode 3
You know you’ve regressed into worse than a child when you think Latina is so cute that you don’t want to go to work that involves meeting with other old men! But Rita manages to ‘encourage’ him to go since he’ll get to buy souvenirs for her. Hence his deep thinking face that scares off his dragon chauffeur. Upon arriving, he meets up with his friend, Gregor and can’t shut up spamming how cute his Latina is. It’s a good thing Gregor has some high discipline not to cut down this cringe. On to business, with the rise of the Demon Lord’s presence, a plan is to ambush them in small units. Oh Dale, can you not think about Latina for like 5 minutes? That too long for you to concentrate on the mission? Meanwhile Latina makes shepherd’s pie. When the customers know about it, they realize how good it is and damn they become big fans of her cooking! Yeah, they don’t mind waiting long for it. That’s what they come here for! Chloe visits and talks to Latina about school. Since they are about the same age, she suggests going to the same school with them. We see Dale and Gregor’s team ambushing the Demon Lord’s minions. Uhm, this anime got blood and death?! Damn those minions got sliced and killed! When the mission is over, Dale can’t wait to get home and bring back all the presents rather than attending tonight’s banquet. Loli is more important than official state feast! And of course everybody knows when Dale is back because he literally lets the whole world know with his loud screaming of Latina’s name. Lolicon and loli reunite. Happiest reunion ever. Latina then brings out her shepherd’s pie for him to eat. He is so touched that he can’t eat it. WTF… Can we just get over this long day already?

Episode 4
So now you can’t praise Latina without going through Dale?! How jealous can this guy get?! Latina now attends school and apart from Chloe and co, she makes a new friend, Sylvia. However their teacher looks crazy… Indeed. Because one day she spots Latina’s horns and that’s when she snapped! OMFG! She mistreats her like a ragdoll?! WTF ranting about demons trying to infiltrate them, blah, blah, blah?! Sylvia stands up against her and despite the threat of being excommunicated, she dares the teacher. The students gang up against her. By banging against the table? Okay. Whatever. But clearly this affected Latina. Oh dear. Look at those traumatic eyes… So when she goes home, something is clearly wrong. So much so she breaks off her horn (thanks to some offensive magic Dale taught her earlier)! OMFG! She trying to be Hellboy?! Luckily Kenneth brings her in time to the nearby temple to heal. You bet Dale is going to rush all the way back. When she wakes up, she starts crying about never wanting to be alone again because since demons live longer than humans, eventually everyone will die first. Time for Dale’s special assurance and special thanks of meeting her. Even if Latina is human, Dale will still die first as he is older and the job he does is dangerous. With Latina feeling better, what a way for them to make up with a hug. Aww… So cute! Now Dale gets on to serious business as he meets the principal of the school. He gives her warning to hand down the maximum punishment on her. He has talked to the other students and also his connections allow him to demand the kind of info on that person. Despite having trauma of her family being killed by demons, that is still not a valid excuse to take it out on an innocent life. If they continue to cover for her, he will take this to the higher authority whereby the god of war, Ahmar reigns all over arbitration and judgment mercilessly. The principal agrees to fire and expel her. Chloe visits Latina and slaps her for endangering her own life. More heart strings to tug with lolis giving each other an emotional hug. Everyone celebrates Latina’s return with Dale buying everyone a drink. So don’t complain when they order the most expensive one! Latina’s cute apology will make up for it. Latina is so perfect in everything she does, is there nothing she can’t do? Oh damn, she’s tone deaf… But being imperfect also has its charm? Dale you lolicon…

Episode 5
Latina thinks of getting Dale a present so as she consult her friends, they are unsure what to get that guy. Dale feels he is left in the dark since Latina doesn’t want to tell him. And he can’t force it out of a loli’s mouth either. Yeah, this guy is sinking into depression thinking Latina doesn’t need him as she stops by Chloe’s house (brainstorming for present ideas) and even doing some work behind his back (nothing shady, mind you). Eventually his blues are blown away when Latina gives him a handmade bag for his birthday. Surprise! Flashback shows Latina consulted Kenneth that she needed money to buy something for Dale. So to earn her keep, she learns things under his apprenticeship. Now Dale is bragging to everyone in the bar how Latina made this bag for him. The next morning it snows and Latina gets her first experience. So was she living under the cave all this time? When a usual customer, Jilvester AKA Jil leaves the bar, Latina notices he forgot his wallet. She goes to return it to him. On her way back, a couple of shady guys try to ask her for directions. Smart Latina can tell they are bad guys because of that typical trademark bad guy face. She tries to run for it but the slippery ice made her slip. The baddies try to kidnap her but luckily Jil is here. They try to give excuses but nobody messes with Dale’s loli. Fortunately no blood will be spilt today as the lieutenant of the police is here. He seems to comprehend the situation and has those baddies arrested. Damn, it must be so bad luck to have that kind of face, huh? He warns about the recent black market in selling other races. He knows a lot about Latina because he is Sylvia’s father and heard a lot from his daughter. Dale thought he could replenish himself with Latina’s smile after another tough mission. He gets jealous seeing Latina with Jil. WTF is this?! But for today, Jil is Latina’s hero, okay?

Episode 6
Rita is pregnant?! Man, that escalated quickly. Hence thoughtful Dale thinks of moving out with Latina. But what’s this? They say Dale can leave but let Latina stay?! She has been an irreplaceable employee and has been saving up. She might have enough for her own dowry. I guess that joke has gone too far so it triggers Dale he won’t have any of that! Back to the serious side of this episode, Dale prepares to head to his hometown and he gave Latina the option to stay or follow. No prize to guess which she picked. Because she wants to bring a cooking knife along, Kenneth opines a multi-purpose knife should be better. Hence he takes her to Rudy’s father’s shop as he is a blacksmith. I guess pops has a hard time thinking this little girl is looking for a real knife than a toy knife. Rudy is surprised to see Latina here. Even more so that he learns she is going on a trip. Wow. This guy is panicking and he could be Dale number 2. It seems Latina didn’t tell her friends of this trip so Kenneth advises her to do so because it would be just as bad if her friends disappear without saying anything. Meanwhile Dale is shopping for a magic robe for his precious. He has the misfortune to stumble into a mage, Helmine. Despite knowing she is trouble, he has nobody to seek for help from this hot babe to help him pick out the right magic robe. In return, she hopes to one day meet Latina as a fellow spell caster. Dale and Latina soon begin their journey but before that, Latina wants to pass by her father’s grave to pay her respects. They encounter a few magic beasts but it is thanks to Latina’s intuition and ability to sense danger that gives Dale enough time to prepare. Latina tries to explain this providence or foresight ability she has but from what I understand, probably it’s just guts feeling. I could be wrong… Latina manages to go up to her father’s grave and it’s going to take a while since she has a lot of things to tell him. I didn’t know demons’ ritual for the dead is so like humans’.

Episode 7
Stopping by a town for the night, Latina keeps a diary of her journeys. No peeking, Dale! Then they put their beds together to sleep. Funny, I thought a bed is big enough for them both and they still have room. They reach the port town of Qualle. While dining in a fine restaurant, Latina notices the performer wearing the same armlet as hers. A few days later they arrange to talk to her, Glaros. Latina wastes no time to tell she is a demon with broken horns so Glaros also reveals she is also a demon and comes from the demon country of the first Demon Lord, Vassilios. Though it is a custom for demon mothers to raise their child, armlets are passed down by fathers to their offspring to celebrate the birth of their child because it is hard for demons to conceive. Glaros is certain Latina is born in Vassilios as it’s the only demon country to practice this as this is not a tradition in the third and sixth Demon Lord’s domain. Then there’s something about the first Demon Lord being killed by the second and perhaps currently there is no Demon Lord ruling over Vassilios right now. Also, unlike Vassilios that closes off its borders to the outside world, there are other calamitous Demon Lords who love to fight and kill like the second, fourth and seventh. Latina then asks the hardest question about Glaros meeting her human husband. Well, he had a good long life. They had no children because if it’s already hard for demons to conceive a child, what more with a human. A little lift from the gloom because Glaros has always been happy since she met her husband. Continuing their journey, Dale and Latina hold hands and then Dale feel the need to carry her. But of course.

Episode 8
Dale stops by at Joseph’s village. He is his relative and a furry. Joseph’s mom is Dale’s dad’s second cousin. Damn, sounds confusing… Joseph has his own family too, wife Ute and baby Maya. When you have a kid who looks like an animal, you wonder if the kid doubles as a pet too. Cute Latina + Cute Maya = Too much cuteness in this household! Dale notices Latina gets worried when they were talking about some prophecy thingy. He wonders if this is the reason why she was chased out from her village. When Maya starts crying uncontrollably, it is because she detected Latina’s sad feelings. Trying to put up a tough front? So with Ute telling her to let the tears flow, Latina starts crying. Damn, this house is noisy with 2 crying kids. Later Latina talks to Dale about the prophecy. She thinks it says she is a bad girl and the reason why her dad died. Dale gives his perspective on this prophecy thingy. Because it didn’t describe her in any specific way, she shouldn’t worry too much. When Dale and Latina leave, Maya puts up a tantrum. She doesn’t want Latina to go. Poor Joseph got a few baby kicks in the face just to hold her back. Better go now. We see Dale trying to outrun his pursuers as well as evading lots of traps. Turns out they are his family. Is this their sick way of greeting their son? We finally arrive at Dale’s hometown, Teathrow. Oddly this is not the village’s name but a reference to all those who live here. Huh? Nobody here has surnames and Dale’s surname is actually his job description in some language. Latina stamps her authority because I guess she doesn’t understand family sarcasm so she has Dale and granny be nice to each other. Wow. Latina so cute when she’s ‘mad’… Meeting the parents, Latina gets worried when hearing about the wedding. Turns out Dale’s brother, Yorck will be marrying the nearby village head’s daughter. Phew. So relieved. That night, Dale thought he heard Latina’s voice. He enters her room only to see her cowering at a corner. Once again, it’s that insecurity of not wanting to be alone. Of course he accompanies her to bed so you bet this is going to be some touchy topic when mom finds them sleeping together. Nothing naughty happened but I guess they’ve got something new to tease their son. It’s like as though they really want to make him out as a lolicon. Oh Latina, you’re the only one who can heal Dale’s hurt feelings now…

Episode 9
Latina writes home to update what is happening. Since her stay at Teathrow is long, she also takes some magic and cooking studies. Big bonus is that she gets to play with lots of pups too. And of course more of Dale and Latina sweet screen time and assurance that they’re happy with each other. One day, grandma decides to take Latina to the mountains to show a secret. When Dale notices this, he becomes suspicious and tails Latina. What’s this? Latina feeding some white winged wolf? Dale scolds her for trying to feed wild animals as this would make them depend on the food and it might carry some disease. However the wolf can speak and snarls at Dale! It is then Dale realizes this is a phantasmic beast. He is surprised because such intelligent creatures don’t live near human settlements. Latina then brings Dale to its entire family just nearby. As explained, these beasts have made a pact with the ancestors of Teathrow that they will co-exist together as neighbours without stepping into each other’s territory. Dale is surprised that Latina has become so friendly with them that she even gives their leader a belly rub! For your information, Latina is not human… At night, everyone prepares for Yorck’s wedding. Seeing this, Dale thinks he is definitely not going to let anyone marry his Latina and will break all his bones! OMFG! However the thought that Latina might hate him for rejecting her boyfriend is too much to bear! Oh dear! While the celebration goes on, why is Latina putting on a sad face? Ah, kids her age wants to grow up fast. Dale then rethinks back had he not take up this Reki job, he wouldn’t have left the village. Because Teathrow doesn’t belong to any nation, there are other lords that might want to take over this dominion. Hence they make some political pacts to stay safe. But to avoid outsiders from meddling, this Reki job is supposedly viewed as a divine gift and a hero. Dale took up this job in hopes of protecting Teathrow from outside. He was at a lost and not sure if he was doing anything to protect his village until he met Latina. Someone to protect. In a way, she saved him. Back to the party, I guess Dale got drunk announcing Latina belongs to him. Because everybody is family, I guess they didn’t see him hugging Latina as some sort of rape potential. Grandma is ever so nice to offer some advice if Latina ever wants to get married and beat up this idiotic grandson. Oh yeah. That’s what family is for. Uh huh. Let’s all laugh over it!

Episode 10
It is time to leave Teathrow and return to Kreutz. Time to say goodbye to everyone too. The winged wolves give them their magic feathers. It will help scare off lesser intelligent beasts when they travel home. Grandma gives Latina a gift. It’s not going to take up any space as that gift is a name. This signifies that she can come back here whenever she wants. Later Dale realizes why grandma put up Latina to meet the winged wolves. Because she helps brushed their feathers, they managed to get a whole bunch of their magic feathers that they will use to make protective clothes when they tend to the fields. Normally they would have to wait till they shed them but looks like Latina did a pretty good job. And so grandma also gives Latina a couple of ribbons made from those feathers. After leaving Teathrow, they stop by at Joseph’s place. Oh dear. We can see this coming. Maya throwing herself at Latina. Yeah, daddy so sad that Maya doesn’t want him anymore. Hence the plan is to leave early tomorrow morning while they’re asleep to avoid that ruckus. However somehow Maya crawled in to sleep next to Latina. Plan failed. And so it’s that déjà vu scene again with Maya giving off her legendary wailing and this time Dale and Latina have to leave fast. No long goodbyes now. Gotta go. Resting at Qualle, Latina wants to buy souvenirs for her friends. Then there is this bright coloured hair person known as Rose Princess passing by. Dale is amazed Latina knows that the glow is due to magical traits of her person. Although she was born in a place with people with high magical traits, Latina herself has low magical traits and is hereditary since her father too doesn’t have such high magic qualities. And now they’ve finally arrived back at Kreutz. Latina greets Kenneth and Rita. With Latina back, I guess it is double celebration for all the patrons. Their favourite server is back! So good to have her back, right?

Episode 11
Latina’s back and you bet her friends are happy to listen to her tales. Chloe has been keeping Latina’s broken horn as a charm. But wait. Why does Rudy have one too? We all know why but Latina believes his reason to keep it because it’s rare. But what’s this? Latina sighing? The customers think she is having romance issues but it turns out she wants to go to a cat’s gathering like her friends did. Phew, right? Dale has this sneaky plan to take her there as long as he accompanies her but Jil usurps him because he’ll go ask his neighbour, Shihesu Gojo a bachelor who lives with his cats. That name rings a bell for Dale because he was grandpa’s partner during his adventuring days. Dale and Latina visit Shihesu’s place. Poor Latina, the cats don’t like her? Except for one! Good enough. Meanwhile the adults talk about things. This includes Shihesu’s original homeland on a faraway island that has a high child mortality rate. So when a child reaches a certain age, they put some extravagant costume on them to celebrate. Sounds familiar… And of course we want to let Latina try that outfit. Yup, it’s a kimono. Looking over the top kawaii. Shihesu thinks this land should adopt this tradition. I can see the kind of influence Latina is going to have if this is accepted. Latina will become God! So I guess for that kind of investment, Dale willingly splurges on this kimono. Any money he spends on Latina is not a waste! Never an upper limit! And of course her attraction power increases dramatically back at the bar. Meanwhile a baby winged wolf wants to go see Latina but papa doesn’t allow it because it is too young. Offspring throws tantrum and threatens to tell mama… WTF.

Episode 12
Helmine visits the bar. Uh oh. Latina’s womanly guts are ringing like hell! Who this woman?! And to show that Latina ‘owns’ Dale, she hugs him and never lets go. Unfortunately Helmine will be staying here for a while. That’s because she and Dale will be paired up on some away mission. Damn. I think this situation is more dangerous! And when a woman says she is not mad, SHE IS MAD! Wow. Latina so young, already so like that. With Helmine hanging around the bar, you bet the other patrons are going to be confused with Latina’s ‘less than satisfying service’. But Helmine isn’t going to play the nice lady. She teases Latina about her small stature since Latina herself has been harbouring hopes of growing up fast. It doesn’t help at all since her classmates especially Rudy talking about her being compared to as a baby. Hence Latina talks to Kenneth about small. Not her stature, but her boobs! Erm, why not talk to Rita? No way. She’s flat! WTF?! And so the rumoured solution is to drink milk… One night, Helmine talks to Dale to advise him about how certain creatures live longer than humans. That’s why they don’t attach themselves to someone special. Otherwise you have to live with that pain. So if he cares about her, live as long as you can! As Latina’s grade will be graduating, her friends are going to walk different paths. Is this to shoehorn in some last moments with Rudy because he is going to join the reserved army? Don’t worry. Many visit Kenneth’s bar so you can still see her, right? Before Dale departs on his mission, he has Latina visit her father’s grave. He narrates he might not live as long as her but as long as he is alive, he will protect her. Dale’s goodbye to Latina could have been longer had not Helmine just tell him to get going. One more Latina hug for the road, please? And as Latina narrate about her being blessed and being grateful to those around her, Rita finally gives birth. Not sure if Kenneth’s bar is now a nursery because you have the baby, loli Latina and even Maya and the winged wolf pup coming to visit! Oh dear. I smell another rivalry coming up… And as expected, Dale returns from his mission safely and gets a big Latina hug.

Always Forever Daddy’s Girl!
Heh. I guess we’re not going to play along with Dale-Helmine being a pair. Because it would have really sucked and be a big time shocker if Latina were to actually blow her head off and go into some full blown jealousy rage. That would be so unthinkable! Hey. Even if she is just a young girl, she still has the guts and genes of a woman! Don’t underestimate woman! But thankfully, Dale has already clearly made his choice and Helmine is just like a cock teaser or something. I guess she is old mature enough to not be a family wrecker. Phew. Good for them. Good for us. Good for everybody. Now we can continue fawning over Dale x Latina’s relationship.

I’m in a dilemma whether to call this series ultimately boring or pleasantly calming. Because this is sure no Aria The Animation or its spiritual successor, Amanchu. But with all the violent and nonsensical slapstick comedies seasons in and seasons out, such calming and cute series is very much welcomed. So if you aren’t feeling nauseated by the time you finished watching this series, then congratulations! This series is for you! So feel free to continue fawning over the cuteness of Latina as she serves us in her trademark cutie smiles. Oh yeah. Definitely would bright up anyone’s day or cheer up anyone who has had a long day!

Due to the very calming nature of this series, it isn’t just peace and tranquillity of the cuteness factor all the way. Why, there are some ‘heart wrenching’ moments where Latina was tormented! Gasp! Latina being tormented?! WHO WOULD DARE???!!! Well, remember that crazy scene whereby that crazy fascist teacher pulled Latina by her horns? Oh man, that was harrowing! The most traumatic scene ever! I don’t know if I’m ever going to get over that! And then there is also the danger of shady people wanting to kidnap and sell Latina in the black market. Thankfully that never happened. But you see, all this could have made the series more interesting because it at least gives some story to tell. Maybe elevating Dale’s status to be Latina’s true hero each time he comes to rescue her. But I guess we don’t want Latina to turn into a loli in distress and are already going for that cute calmness and since that itself is already too much to take, we’re just going to sweep all those threats under the carpet like as though they never happened. Don’t want to watch Latina go through all that, do we? WE MUST PROTECT LATINA’S SMILE AT ALL COSTS!!!

It would have been slightly interesting if the lore and setting of this world is further explored. For instance the several Demon Lords mentioned here as well as the different types of beasts and races. And the Rose Princess thingy whom Dale knows? Yeah. So what of it? It felt redundant to have all this mentioned because it didn’t even matter at all. Like as though in case there is another season, maybe they could use this setting. Because as I’ve said previously, the black market thingy was just short-lived and never even came close to materializing. Hence Latina was never close to true danger. All so as not to take away the spotlight from Latina’s ever glowing cuteness. I guess we’re not ready to sacrifice all that for the sake of TV drama and suspense.

And having said all that, I guess all the characters are… Uhm… Boring… I mean, okay. We can’t keep fawning over whatever Latina does so I guess it doesn’t matter what others do, right? There are lots of conspiracy theories about Dale and Latina’s relationship once Latina reaches a certain age. Yup. Once she is legal of age, can Dale finally sexualize her? I mean she eventually has to grow up? But I am making this assumption that since demons live longer than humans, it would take a lot more years for Latina to become a teen and by the time she reaches that, Dale would have been an old man! So too bad, no f*cking a loli for the moment! Unless you tell me that demons grow up at the same normal rate like humans and only they stagnate when they reach adulthood? I don’t know. As long as Latina remains a loli, happiness is spread everywhere! Banzai Latina-chan! I don’t know whether to feel annoyed each time Dale fawns over Latina because you got to admit, she’s the cutest thing ever! And would it not be an insult if you do not fawn over something cute! Hey, look at all the grown men in Kenneth’s bar being mesmerized over Latina’s charms! We can certainly see why Kenneth’s bar is experiencing brisk business. But if you think about it, it is also a den filled with grown men… Potential loli rape… NOOO!!!! DON’T EVEN THINK OF THAT!!!!!!! I guess it is also not child exploitation as long as Latina is happy with her waitressing job and everybody loves her, huh?

And the rest of the other characters… Oh yeah, everybody loves Latina so much because she is such a cute and nice girl. What else to say? Humans like her, other creatures also like her. What else to say some more? We see she has a bunch of friends at school so that she is not alone for a little girl her age. Potential love interest with a certain boy but that is another story. Could be an interesting one… Dale or Rudy… Latina is now like family now that she has met Dale’s family and she certainly she has lots of godfathers, Jil and those rowdy guys at the bar. Don’t forget those winged wolves whom she ‘tamed’ by giving them a good belly rub. And nobody has turned into a fanatic BFF like Maya. Latina’s like her security blanket… Oh wow. Latina, you are so loved by everybody! No other demon clan character is this loved so much as her!!! Oh Latina, you are ironically truly blessed! Let’s just hope that when Latina grows up, everyone will still continue to love her like their little girl always. That’s when we see the true test if you’re just a lolicon or not…

One thing that boggles my mind is some of the chants that Dale said, it seems to be in some weird language. I thought it was German since you know, the town of Kreutz… Such a German name… Heh… But the more I listen to the gibberish he says, the more I wonder if it is some lesser known language. Google Translate didn’t help so I am confused if this is just made up language. Because you see, when he says the gibberish, they also translated this gibberish in the subtitles to let us know what he actually says. So I thought it must be an actual language. Maybe it isn’t any real one in the first place and they’re just making it up as they go along.

Art and animation are okay. Animated by Maho Film and this is their debut anime and so far their only series they have animated. Everything here looks bright and colourful, like as though this is a series aimed at younger audience. It could have totally been one had not for that few dark parts. Yeah, never do I want to see Latina break her horn again! Heck, there are a few parts in the earlier episodes where there are blood and death! This is more of when Dale goes adventuring and has to fight evil creatures and bad people. The cuteness of Latina seems to remind me that she looks like other cute lolis in other anime series. Namely, Asahi from Shichisei No Subaru. More Latina bonus because every episode’s mid-intermission eyecatch, you get to see Latina in different outfits. SO FREAKING KAWAII!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO COSPLAY AND DRESS UP THIS LOLI!!!!

One reason why I said in my opening paragraph that this might be some weird spinoff of To Aru Kagaku No Accelerator is because Dale is voiced by Nobuhiko Okamoto. Yup, that guy with the crazy voice. Now pair him with a loli, doesn’t this make this pair look like Accelerator x Last Order? Hmm… Dale-ccelerator x Last-ina Order!!! Oh sh*t! Can’t unsee this now!!! Latina is voiced by Kanon Takao (Yuu in Anitore! EX) and well… As cute as she tries to sound, sometimes I feel like you can’t hide the fact that this is a grown woman trying to fake the sound of a loli. But since she sounds cute, I guess I’ll let that slide. The rest of the other casts are Tsuyoshi Koyama as Kenneth (Youhei in Zero Kara Hajimeru Mahou No Sho), Manami Numakura as Rita (Paula in Nisekoi), Tomomichi Nishimura as Jil (Anzai in Slam Dunk), Yuuki Kuwahara as Chloe (Tooru in Kobayashi-san Chi No Maid Dragon), Marika Kouno as Sylvia (Suzuka in Uma Musume: Pretty Derby), Mutsumi Tamura as Rudy (Sonya in Kill Me Baby), Mai Nakahara as Helmine (Mai in Mai-HiME) and Yui Fukuo as Maya (Linze in Isekai Wa Smartphone To Tomo Ni – on a personal note, I kinda hate her character Maya in constant crying mode. My ears can’t stop ringing…).

If you want more Latina goodness and cuteness, be glad to know that she sings the opening theme, I’m With You. Despite this rock outfit, I guess she still does make it sound cute. But the one that takes the cake is the ending theme. Nope, not Latina singing it but Dale! OMFG! It is with both cuteness and cringe when hearing this song. Because of the hip hop nature of this song, the ‘funny’ part is how Dale’s seiyuu sings it and like I said, it is both cute and cringe worthy. One moment you are fawning at how cute he sings it but the next your hairs could stand on ends at how cringe it is. Especially the final lines that has him go. “Chu chu chu chu chu chu chu”. Yeah… I don’t want to hear this song again but something is compelling me to listen to it again… OMG. I’m… Addicted… To it…

Overall, this isn’t a cute girls doing cute things genre but rather, CUTE LATINA DOING CUTE THINGS!!! Yes, all the colourful and sparkly cuteness from this demon loli steals the show at every turn and moment and possibly some of our hearts. The only real danger is turning some of us into lolicons. Good thing I’m still not! Really! So if you are looking for some good wholesome anime with decent characters (but a very cute main one) and a decent storyline (although everything revolves around everything Latina does oh so cutely), then this is definitely a must see. A good show to also tell us that even though you’re not related by blood, love all around still makes you family. Just make sure the cuteness doesn’t run out. Ever. Latina-chan hontou ni kawaii sugiru ~kyun…

Mob Psycho 100 S2 OVA

November 8, 2019

For those who still can’t get over that the second season of the TV series has ended, don’t despair. There is always the OVA to cheer you up and producers to net some profit. Yup. A win-win situation. And that’s why we have Mob Psycho 100 S2 OVA. Yes, people. Finally we have a hotspring episode. But I hardly doubt it would be filled with sexy fanservice considering the protagonists of the series are males. And of course knowing the nature and genre of the series, what is it that is spooking the hotspring inn?

A healing trip that warms the heart…
Mob and Ritsu join Reigen and Serizawa for a trip to the Ibogami hotspring for a working holiday. It all started when the inn hostess came to Reigen for help. She claims her guests have been experiencing dreams of going into a parallel world. If nothing is done, her inn will be finished. At first Reigen wasn’t so sure of accepting but since she will pay for his travel, lodging and food, the question is now how many people he can take with him. During the train trip, after Mob and Ritsu head to the toilet, Reigen and Serizawa doze off and the train enters the Ibogami tunnel. When they awaken, they realize outside is a wasteland. Reigen soon realizes that wherever he goes, he always ends up back in the same coach. So this is the parallel world, huh? True enough, they are. Because they’ve been sleeping all the time so when they reach their destination, Mob had to use his powers to ‘carry’ them to the inn. They meet up with Teru who went to recon the place. After being welcomed by the hostess, they learn the legend of this place once had a portal to another world. Hence the god, Ibogami sealed it up and the people worshipped him until today. As the boys have fun soaking in the hotspring, the adults are still trapped. However Serizawa trying to be mindful and not offend Reigen who seems he is trying his best to find the source of this, manages to leave this parallel world and join the boys. Yeah, he manage to do this several times! Because of his awkward way of speaking not to offend, Reigen gets the wrong idea that he too is trying to investigate. It feels like days Reigen has been stuck here and when he tries to jump out of the train, he lands back inside the coach! No way out! Soon depression sinks in. Hunger sets in.

The next time Serizawa returns and after feeding him, only then Reigen realizes what is happening. Why the heck did he not take him along?! Reigen controls himself so as not to scold him. He is after all still a junior. After telling him to think for himself, he has Serizawa bring the rest here. So now Reigen admits he doesn’t know what the source and wants this parallel world destroyed. Of course everybody can tell that ominous mountain is the source and behind it is Ibogami but some sticky ghostly goo must be the one causing this phenomenon and weakening Ibogami’s protection. Nothing but a little power to destroy it. Finally Reigen wakes up. Dimple returns with an explanation of what really happened. Because the hostess had a slight flu, it somewhat weakened her protection power source that is situated inside her nose. As her ancestors worshipped Ibogami, the descendants develop psychic powers without even noticing it. With her flu cleaning up, looks like the parallel world is case is solved. Maybe until the next time she gets another flu. Everybody goes to sleep after a long day. But Reigen obviously can’t sleep… Yeah. As they leave the next day, Reigen gives his business card to the hostess. He also hands some to Mob since it contains Reigen’s new address. And of course, Serizawa has his own too. Don’t need to depend on those business etiquette notes anymore now. On the train trip back, Reigen dozes off and the train enters a tunnel…

Dream A Little Dream A Little Dream A Little Dream A Little Dream…
Ah well. Nothing really much, I guess. Enjoyable to say the least but at least the horror effects weren’t that scary to spook the hell out of me. Yeah, I might be having sleepless nights! Maybe I would be going into my own parallel world! Anyway, the focus of this OVA seems to be more on Reigen and Serizawa while Mob being side-lined to just a role as plot convenience. As usual, the suave talking conman shows us why he is so good being the great pretender and of course it has its drawbacks. Serizawa on the other hand who has turned over a new leaf is trying his best to make a good first impression and hence with his miscommunication, it results in something a lot worse for Reigen. He might have given Serizawa the greatest advice for his working life but he sure isn’t doing the same for himself. Is that double standards? Because Reigen still needs to admit that he needs help instead of waiting for things to turn grave. But that’s Reigen for you. Some things are hard to change. If there are more OVAs in the future, I would still love to watch them. Because the biggest mystery now that I want to know is, for that brief moment at the start of the OVA, why does a certain bald strongest hero appeared in Reigen’s contacts???!!! Can Saitama’s punches connect with ghosts?! Can Mob’s psychic powers do physical damage to monsters?! Damn, now I want to see a Mob Psycho 100 x One Punch Man crossover! That would be the ultimate parallel world dream!

Remember that silly Cinderella plot hole whereby Cinderella lost her glass slippers and the only way the prince could find her was to call every woman in town to fit them? Like yeah, not only did he assume Cinderella had that only small feet to fit into them, that bastard couldn’t even remember her damn face! And he was dancing with her all night long! WTF, dude???!!! Anyway, Kawaikereba Hentai Demo Suki Ni Natte Kuremasu Ka (or HenSuki if that is a mouthful for you to pronounce and remember) isn’t really that Cinderella spoof or spinoff. Main character dreams of having a girlfriend. Heh, which guy wouldn’t? And then dream come true because his future girlfriend left him not only an anonymous letter but her panties as well! Oh sh*t! This girl also thirsty as f*ck? But the ‘Cinderella’ problem now for this guy is that based on the pool of suspects in his potential harem, he definitely can’t go up and ask each one of them to try the panties out, CAN HE???!!! Good luck trying to solve this mystery without looking much like a pervert. And he isn’t the only pervert he’ll stumble upon during this quest…

Episode 1
Keiki Kiryuu is your typical high school kid. Single and wants a girlfriend. This guy who is part of the shodo (calligraphy) club that consists of females and him as the only guy? Oh my. I can see where this is going. After he cleans up the clubroom, there is a love letter left for him. It is not signed and furthermore, a pair of panties is left with the letter! Has spring finally come for him? Unsure, he confides in his best friend, Shouma Akiyama. It can’t be a prank at their age and the logical answer is that his Cinderella could be one from his shodo club. Could it be the beautiful and busty president, Sayuki Tokihara? Or the cute and honest junior, Yuika Koga? Perhaps the friendly Mao Nanjou? Maybe his own little sister, Mizuha? Who knows? So Keiki tries to indirectly ask Sayuki and Yuika but they leave him hanging with no concrete evidence. He can’t concentrate that he gets knocked out during a basketball game. He wakes up in the infirmary with Mao by his side. She too is giving mixed signals but nothing conclusive. On the way home, Keiki helps Sayuki return a lost dog to its owner and realizes she likes dogs a lot. After having him pet her head, she pecks him on the cheek for always being kind to her. With this hint, Keiki thinks of getting more out of her. So on a ‘date’ after answering her question that he is glad to join this club, maybe he is a bit too direct asking if she has special emotions towards him. Because now she runs away and subsequently she avoids him like a plague. Is she his Cinderella? With Mao’s suggestion to do a wall slam to stop her, he does so (making it almost look like a rape scene). He claims he knows her secret. To put it generally. Doesn’t everyone have secrets? She starts acting sheepishly. Since he knows about it and doesn’t hate her for it, she wants him to come to the clubroom after school. He does so and Sayuki is there waiting for him. She is glad he is someone who accepts her for who she is. She has him close his eyes while she prepares. What does he see? Sayuki stripped her top and wearing a collar?! WTF?! She wants him to be her pet!!! Woof! You mean this b*tch… Oops!

Episode 2
In short, Sayuki is a super masochist pervert! She wants to be scolded by him as a pet! No way, Jose! Later when the teacher tells Keiki that he forgot to lock the clubroom, that is when he realizes his Cinderella could be anybody than his club members. He did leave the room for a while during cleaning. Cinderella must have snuck in to place the letter. He returned and finished up while she hid. After he left and locked the door, she unlocked it from inside and escaped. Talking to Shouma about this, it seems Keiki still can’t pinpoint Sayuki as his Cinderella. But asking about pet fetish, Shouma thinks it’s his new fetish but won’t laugh since Shouma is a lolicon! At the library, Sayuki tries to seduce him, making him uncomfortable. She really wants to be punished, huh? This sets a showdown with Yuika. Eventually Sayuki says they went on a date and I don’t think Yuika is mad because Keiki thinks she too wanted to be treated to a parfait like they had on their date. Damn Keiki, now I see why you no have girlfriend… So to make up for this, Keiki has got to date Yuika now? Whatever. A typical date at the movies and the likes. When Yuika excuses herself to the toilet and is taking too long, Keiki then realizes several men try to hit on her. You mean they kept talking while she just ignored them and stood there? And they’re like giving up after Keiki says she’s with him? Damn those guys are clueless too. Keiki blames himself for not being sensitive enough so Yuika thanks him by pecking his forehead for saving her. Later he finds out she is racially mixed and hence her beauty makes it hard for others to approach her. That’s why she was always alone. Keiki being the dense dude, always kept staring at her while she reads and even admitted she is beautiful despite she didn’t like it. But as he always strike up a conversation, eventually she opens up to him. And now Yuika wants to meet up to tell him a big secret. Is this his Cinderella revealing moment? Well… Turns out Yuika wants Keiki to be her slave! Say what? She thinks guys love being slaves to cute girls and this should be an honour for him. She is willing to give him her freshly worn panties if he does so. Since he disagrees, she punishes him by stuffing her panties in his mouth! It didn’t kill him but he is out cold. Yeah, this dominance just gives Yuika the orgasm and thrill.

Episode 3
Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because now Keiki finds Yuika’s bra in his shoe locker! It’s the only way to get his attention since he is avoiding her. So meeting up with her, she reads him a story about a shy princess who turns out to be some S&M sadist. So she isn’t giving up on him being her slave, huh? And she’ll train him till being her slave becomes his only joy. Well, Keiki… RUN!!! Out of the fire and into… More fire! Because this time there is a scandalous picture of Keiki sleeping with Sayuki! And a threat to release this online! Better go see what this b*tch is up to. Oh. Maid outfit. I approve! What do you mean you don’t want to be her goshuujin-sama???!!! Anyway the keys to her handcuffs are stuck in her cleavage. Better get it out quick as she needs to go to the toilet… After doing so, Sayuki continues to be flirty with him. She allows him to do anything to her but as Keiki deliberates with his devilish and angelic side, the force of being a virgin is still strong. He rejects her because there needs to be love in all this! Hanging with Shouma, any updates about the Cinderella potential? Well, if Sayuki and Yuika are out, that leaves Mao. Shouma points out that she sometimes steal glances of him. Later, Yuika tricks Keiki that she is naked and he must close his eyes while she leads him to the room where her clothes are. Obviously a trap as he realizes too late she has tied him up. Now she wants him to kiss her foot and pledge his allegiance to her or she’ll steal his first kiss on the lips. Luckily Sayuki enters the room. How did she find him? Stalking Keiki is her specialty. Say what?! Both girls argue and it dawned to Keiki that both of them know each other’s fetish. Yeah, since the first time they met. As they struggle over Keiki as their possession, Mao is the one who comes to rescue him. Conveniently the rope has a mind of its own because it somehow ties up Sayuki and Yuika. So why is Mao admonishing Keiki? Was it his fault? She blames him of being drawn to Sayuki’s boobs and Yuika’s pampering. So what are you trying to say, girl? Mao doesn’t want him to be with other girls because she doesn’t like it.

Episode 4
Yuika somewhat apologizes to Keiki about that shameless fight over him. She hopes he would patch things up with Mao. Why is this slave driver so generous? That’s because it’s all part of using sticks and carrots. Sayuki also has the same feeling. Apologizing for yesterday’s public lewdness, she also wants Keiki and Mao to become friends again. Otherwise she can’t claim to be an obedient dog if she destroys his friendships. And what’s this about attacking him in private instead of in public? I don’t think she’s joking… Keiki goes to talk to Mao. She wants to hang out with Shouma like the 3 of them used to. At the arcade, Keiki slips and Shouma catches him, turning this into a highly suggestive BL scene. We see Mao can’t stop taking pics of them. On the way home, Mao asks him about his thoughts about getting in a relationship. This leads to an argument whereby she accuses him of being a pervert, thinking he likes girls fighting over him. Noticing she is looking at a picture of Shouma, he asks if she likes him. She denies everything and runs away. Keiki is in a dilemma that he talks to Mizuha about this. While she doesn’t want him to force Mao to talk if she doesn’t want to, he still wants to know about her despite feeling bad for prodding too much. So the next day he confronts her to talk again. This time she blames him for everything. She cannot sleep well because he is always on her mind. She can’t stop thinking of him. He apologizes for everything and hopes to do anything to make it up to her so they could become friends again. Anything? This is where the sucker punch comes in. So when she asks about him dating, well… What she meant was him dating Shouma! Say what?! Long story short, Mao is a fujoshi! BL fanatic! You can tell her change of character when she dons a pair of glasses. Hell, she even has a yaoi series of them! Shortcakes series! That’s Shouma x Keiki if you haven’t guessed it. Everything that seems to be bugging Mao, everything and I mean everything leads back to some BL connotation. Keiki doesn’t oppose he fetish but can she stop basing her works on them? No can do. She has fans waiting for the next story! Since Keiki won’t be gay, Mao vows to do anything to thwart every attempt at romance he makes towards females. It would be bad if her inspiration source ends up with a girl, right? Just when Keiki thought all his Cinderella candidates are out, he now finds another unnamed letter in his shoe box. Well, looks more like blackmail because it’s a pic of him in a compromising position with maid Sayuki! The nightmare has not ended…

Episode 5
There is also a letter that says to come to the astronomy club or else. But we now skip and see him in shodo club. Yuika dressed as a bunny girl, hopping around and serving everybody? Not sure if this is part of her training to make Keiki obedient to her but Yuika wants to officially join the club (so she can spend more time with Keiki) so Sayuki made her do this. What a way to humiliate your rival. It’s going to get worse when masochistic boobs monster has a showdown with sadistic boobless monster. But why is also Mao here? Yeah, she too wants to officially join the club. But why no bunny outfit? She promised to give all latest Shortcake series to Sayuki. Yup, she’s a big fan. Sayuki even introduces it to Yuika. Ah, that first time when you’re so embarrassed but hooked on it. Friendship from BL… So beautiful… With that, the shodo club is now a den of perverts. Flashback when Keiki went to the astronomy club. This petite girl, Koharu Ootori claims she is in love and doesn’t know what to do and resorted to blackmailing. Keiki jumped the gun that she is his Cinderella and quickly proposed to her. Of course she rejected. Then the big revelation: She is actually in love with Shouma! See all those pictures of him on the wall? In short, Koharu wants him to be her cupid to Shouma since this is a one-sided crush. So that’s where this blackmail comes in… We know Shouma is a lolicon so why is it so hard? You see, Koharu is actually their senior! So legal loli is not Shouma’s taste? With his dignity in line, hence Keiki agrees to be her cupid. With summer coming up and the school changing to its summer uniform, this gives Keiki an idea. He manages to have Shouma and Koharu meet. He has Koharu wear Mizuha’s uniform to make it look like she is a junior. The hoodie is also to hide other aspects that would blow her cover as a senior. Shouma takes the bait and is ecstatic. They even exchange contacts and take a commemorative photo. In exchange for Keiki’s help, Koharu listens to his Cinderella problem and offers to help. Her theory means everyone in school is a suspect but it won’t be possible to do a Cinderella test. You know, the prince having a glass slipper test. Can’t expect Keiki to have everyone test wear the panties, can he?! As he ponders, the meek student council vice president, Ayano Fujimoto falls down the stairs. He catches her but she is on top of him. Okay, time to get off. But she won’t. She wants to stay like this a little longer! She wants to be with him! Are my ears deceiving me? Can she be the real Cinderella this time?

Episode 6
To repay Keiki for what he did, Ayano made him cookies. Delicious. Then she really sits close to him and of course this freaks out Keiki. Throwing him off is Ayano giving him a goodbye hug. Of course, expert stalker Koharu has done her investigations on her and she seems like a decent and polite girl. She could be his Cinderella as she often makes audit checks to the clubrooms and the teacher confirmed it was her on that day when that mysterious Cinderella left her pantsu. Keiki will continue the investigation himself. Not sure why he returns to the shodo club but Yuika is waiting there. She traps him of course and wants to him to take responsibility for massaging her boobs. Since when?! In her dreams! Women… As usual, he won’t be her slave so she tries to massage his boobs back? Woman logic… In the struggle, he accidentally touches her boobs and now she freaks out and runs away. Women… Ayano seeks Keiki’s help to volunteer to clean up trash at the riverside. Sayuki somewhat tags along and tries to assert Keiki is her belonging. However she stops short of saying they are dating because their relationship is much deeper than that. Hence Ayano holds his arm close and even lets her boobs touch his arms. Not dating, right? Later Sayuki pulls Keiki aside to lick him. This is what dogs do to claim their territory, right? Knowing grabbing her boobs will only ignite her perversion, Keiki remembers what grandpa said. So he fondles her butt! Did it work? She loves it even more! So satisfied that she’ll let him go today. At the end of the clean-up, Keiki picks up a porn mag. Ayano tries to let him but falls into the river. He lends his jersey to cover up. Next day, he is invited to her office. Hmm… Great atmosphere. Right temperature, nice soft music, calming tea and apple pie to boot. This is really great if this is all part of repaying her debt. Then she sits close to him and dozes off. Keiki really feels good about it. Could she be the Cinderella he has been waiting for? Then he dozes off. When he wakes up… WTF Ayano trying to take off his pants???!!! Since it has come to this she admits she has smell fetish. She likes the smell of boys and currently she likes his. It all started because he caught her. The smell of destiny. Yeah, the smell of trouble… Hence this setup was to make him sleep so she could take his undies. Her miscalculation was that she fell asleep too. She thanks him for the nice jersey and wants his underwear. More revelation that her auditing was actually to find sweaty clothes and equipment. So can she have your underwear? No!

Episode 7
In order to cement Koharu’s relationship with Shouma, Keiki suggests a double date. So which girl should he bring? Based on the process of elimination, I guess you could say that Sayuki is the lesser between the devils. At the bowling centre, Sayuki suggests a penalty game. The last person gets doodled on the face while the third placed person will do whatever the winner says. Isn’t that worst? Isn’t Sayuki rigging this? But we see Koharu an absolute bowl master and she even teaches Souma on the finer bowling points. In the end, Koharu wins, Keiki is second followed by Shouma and finally Sayuki dead last. Too bad Sayuki, today’s not your day. Koharu’s command for Shouma is to call him by his first name and you can tell he is damn happy with this. In the aftermath, Koharu and Keiki talk together. She is grateful to Keiki’s help but she knows she cannot rely on him forever. Hence she will tell the truth to Shouma. As for that photo, she already deleted long time ago and believed Keiki to be a trustworthy person. He is after all Shouma’s friend. So Koharu has Shouma walk her home. They pass by a spot where they first met a year ago. She got her straw hat stuck in the tree and he picked it for her. It was love at first sight for her and ever since she wanted to get closer to him. So when she reveals her true identity, the shock on Shouma’s face. He rejects her as he reveals his lolicon nature. Keiki then talks to Shouma about everyone has a right to love anybody but to reject someone who is just older? He is sure a piece of work. Shouma also feels bad for rejecting her. He was also starting to like Koharu when he first helped her but never realized it was her because her hair was shorter then and by that time she already became his stalker. Koharu must have bawled a lot of tears. Now Keiki goes to talk to her and before they go badmouth about lolicons, here comes Shouma trying to make things up. He’d like for them to start off as friends. But Koharu instantly rejects him and snaps about this non-committal relationship and yet he wants to keep her as reserve? GTFO! Shouma is devastated but this is her way of getting back at him for dumping her as a lolicon. Gotcha! Now they’re even and just when things are looking fine, Shouma switches on the lights in this dark room and sees all the creepy photos she has taken of him for the past year. I hope he isn’t going to go back on his words…

Episode 8
Keiki has lots on his mind about Cinderella so much so he accidentally walks in while Mizuha is changing. Is it because they’re family that the cliché moment of the girl screaming and beating up the boy didn’t happen? Later as they talk, she even asks his opinion about her panty colour and he nonchalantly replies it suits her. Knowing something is on his mind she offers to hear him out. So he asks what if he wants a girl to be his pet or become a girl’s slave or interested in underwear. All her answers are the same: Call the police! Even if he wants to fall in love?! Just kidding. She’ll support him if that happens. Soon Sayuki visits. Again, she bugs him to be her master. No way. In that case, blackmail time. Unless he does so, she’ll reveal the Shortcake series to Mizuha! Oh well, I guess petting her head and belly isn’t anything wrong. Until she pushes his face into her boobs. Do pets do that? Then Mizuha comes in. Oh dear. Emergency family meeting! I guess this will be hard to convince her who the real pervert is. As Sayuki leaves, Keiki asks if he anybody else would be suitable to be her master. Her reply is that even masochists have their own pride. Shortly, Yuika visits. Oh no. Please be my slave? No? Shortcake series blackmail. And so he is forced to dress in this Playboy bunny outfit and because she loves his face when he cannot reply if he hates her now, she gives him her panties. She trips and falls over him. Then Mizuha walks in. Oops. Emergency family meeting round 2! This is going to be harder. Shortly, it’s Mao’s turn to call. She wants him to moan sexily as she is having a writer’s block drawing that gay sh*t. Learning that she knows Sayuki and Yuika were there, I guess this was all part of the setup. Mao would love to be there but she has a deadline to beat. Then she hints something about him having a girlfriend in middle school before hanging up. Finally another talk with Mizuha. Despite calling him a pervert, she knows he loves his sister too much. Is there anything perverted in loving a sister? When Keiki returns to his room, Cinderella’s panties are missing! Gasp! Emergency meeting with Shouma and Koharu. This could only mean Cinderella never intended to leave her panties in the first place but at least he has narrowed down the suspects to Sayuki or Yuika. I guess it won’t be appropriate to go flipping skirts or take upskirt photos, eh? Keiki visits the shodo club and only Sayuki is there. He looks serious even as he asks her he will become her master. She doesn’t look surprised or ecstatic too. So he brings her out to an amusement park and claims he will be her master for the rest of the day.

Episode 9
Keiki demands absolute obedience for today. Noticing that she is concerned about her skirt, could it be that she is wearing those Cinderella pantsu? Keiki suggests a few rides so that he has a chance to see underneath her skirt but all failed. Yeah, somehow the laws of physics are strong to not flip up this girl’s skirt! At the end of the day, they have a heart to heart talk and despite Keiki not getting what he wants, at least he sees another side of Sayuki and he somewhat got closer to her. I take it he means that as a human being. She also explains why she chose him to be her master when he first joined the shodo club as she had this feeling he would accept her for who she is. While walking her home, because he still notices her being concerned about her skirt, I guess it is now or never. He should’ve did this from the start but I guess he didn’t want to sound like an absolute pervert. Until now. He orders her to lift her skirt. Very embarrassed at it, she slowly does so. To Keiki’s shock… She’s not wearing anything!!! This however doesn’t dispel the fact that Sayuki isn’t Cinderella. So it gets awkward between them in school. I wonder Keiki is still in shock with that ‘awesome’ sight. So in shodo club, Sayuki is acting very strangely and Yuika notices this. The more she tries to pry, the more suspicious she becomes. Noticing that she is some sort of trying to be patient, Yuika puts this to the test by flirting with Keiki. Sayuki holds it in and does nothing. Yuika grows more intense until Sayuki can’t take it anymore. Yuika falls on Keiki in a compromising position. With Sayuki running away from him, Keiki realizes he needs to do something. He needs to bring back her smile. So he confronts her but she complaints about him being close to Yuika. Plus, she arrives at this twisted conclusion he is playing hard to get. That must be it. Because after going commando, she was expecting him to spank her bare naked ass or something. But nothing happened. This has Keiki get straight to the point and ask if she stole the pantsu from his room. Surprisingly she admits it! Wait. What?! No way?! In fact she is wearing them now! But of course here is the twist. She lifts her skirt to reveal that she is wearing his boxers! Oh my! Is some new sick fetish going to awaken from within? Later Keiki visits Yuika’s house. While she goes to get drinks, he searches her pantsu drawer. No Cinderella pantsu here. Then he gets caught in the act. Know why she isn’t mad? Yup. She took a picture of him red-handed. I guess he’ll gladly be her slave now.

Episode 10
And so Keiki’s enslavement to Yuika begins. This makes Sayuki suspicious and she thinks Yuika is blackmailing him. The argument ends up in forcing Keiki to confess whether he likes big or small boobs. Huh? Eventually Keiki has to be true to himself and admits his love for bigger ones. While Yuika is mad but because Keiki is an obedient dog to Yuika, Sayuki ends up in tears. No rest for the slave as Keiki is called to be Yuika’s butler. However she wants the public to see them and so they go out shopping. As she takes a shower, Keiki plans to look for the Cinderella panties hit a snag when he hears Yuika’s scream. A spider in the toilet! Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. Because he saw her naked, she is going to punish him. But to show gratitude for coming to her rescue, she tells him about her beloved grandma. Grandma loved her more than anything in the world. But when she died, Yuika felt betrayed. She thought if she didn’t like anyone, she wouldn’t be hurt so much. However as we know, Keiki persistently talked to her until she opened up. Thinking back, had she really not want to talk to anybody, she wouldn’t have gone to the library or told him off then. A weird situation whereby Yuika trips onto her bed. It seems like Keiki is going to kiss her but what’s this? He finds his boxers underneath her pillow?! Busted! Oh how the tables have turned. She admits she stole it and even sniffed it! Damn… So I guess this is even. The slave thingy ends here. Keiki complains to Shouma about having a girlfriend is so tough. You think he has it tough? Wait till he hears Shouma’s complaints about stumbling into Koharu’s room filled with DVDs of him and a notebook that details his every activity. Every. Activity. Yeah. Love is so hard… And then suddenly Mao shows up and wants Keiki to be her boyfriend. Is that her terminology to become a model for her BL? Anyway, she tells him she was scouted by an editor and given a chance to write a one shot shoujo manga. As she wants to expand her horizons but has no experience in this, thus this request. After confirming he really has no girlfriend, she sits on him seductively and tells him he will become her boyfriend. She prepares to kiss him. But of course she trolls him and all this is just for reference. Now Ayano comes hugging him to recharge herself after a hard day’s work. If sniffing his sweat isn’t enough, how about unlimited supplies of his underwear? No way. To show her gratitude, she gives him tickets to the pool. Up to 5 people can be invited. She isn’t coming as the temptation of naked men might be too much. Keiki goes to invite Shouma and Koharu but looks like they’re busy. As he helps them pick up photos of Shouma that Koharu dropped, he sees a photo with a timestamp and suddenly realizes this one could be vital to prove Cinderella’s identity.

Episode 11
The usual suspects are at the pool. Don’t worry if they didn’t bring a swimsuit, Keiki has already prepared some for them! The guy knows his stuff as they look sexy and stunning in them. Don’t fight over who gets to accompany him. Because everyone is going to have their turn. Fair and square? Not like Keiki has a say either. But Keiki’s worst fears have come true because now Mizuha knows about that BL feature! Now that she is being exposed thanks to certain irresponsible parties who are probably trying to screw up Keiki’s life, Mizuha even thinks she is okay he is into men and might have found a new awakening!!! It’ll be bad if there are overlapping characters for the BL trope! Koharu seems to be hosting a swimsuit beauty contest and is looking for participants. You mean there are no other girls at this pool? And so our usual quartet participate with the ‘reward’ Keiki must obey what the winner says. Does he even have a say in this? We see the girls take turns belting out why they like a certain guy. If only they know about their weird fetish like Keiki do… Eventually the winner goes to Mizuha as she even breaks the score counter! I guess everybody loves the little sister trope.

As they wait for the bus home, Keiki talks to Mizuha privately. He apologizes beforehand and flips up her skirt! There it is! The Cinderella panties! He explains his deduction. Mizuha can be seen in the background of that photo. It is around the time Keiki was still at the clubroom. For Cinderella to be carrying around those panties all the time, it is possible for her to keep it in her bag since it is small. So after leaving the letter and panties, she hid in the locker until Keiki showed up and left. Hence this pool was part of his plan to reveal Cinderella’s identity. As it was a surprise announcement, Mizuha clearly didn’t bring an extra set. So in order to change back after the pool, being the clean freak she is, he knew she had to wear the Cinderella panties. He never suspected her because he eliminated her from the suspect pool from the start. Mizuha admits she is the one. She truly loves him and hoped the love letter would have her feelings reached him. I am assuming she loves him not in the siblings’ kind of term but of the romantic kind. Then she reminds him of their birthdays. Noticed they are only 5 months apart in the same year? Are you seeing where she is going at? And so Mizuha apologizes beforehand. A surprise kiss followed by a surprised announcement that they, wait for it, are not real siblings!!! Jenjenjeng!

Episode 12
You know it’s a dream when Keiki is married to Sayuki. Not only she is his wife but his b*tch! Pet dog b*tch! Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because once Keiki wakes up, what’s worse than the dream? Your sister kissing you on the lips! Well, technically not blood related, so okay? Because she continues to get flirty with him, if this is how she is going to play it, he’ll run away from home! So he meets up with Shouma and Koharu to reveal the Cinderella mystery. Then it deviates to their relationship. Looks like Shouma pecked Koharu on her cheek. That’s far as they go. For now. Keiki leaves them since they’re having ‘family issues’. As Keiki forgot his wallet, luckily Mao is passing by and feeds him. Taking a break from her manga, she tells him Mizuha was pretty popular with other boys but rejected them all. Mao feels weird because she thought of getting in the way of his romance but now finds herself supporting him. Flashback shows Keiki confirming with dad that Mizuha is not blood related and adopted. So he forgot? It didn’t matter if he reminded again because they are all family. Plus, dad likes Mizuha over his own son! We hear Keiki and Mizuha narrate their own feelings. While Keiki cannot see her more than a sister, Mizuha has always seen him as a boy. Ironically she still calls him nii-san.

Keiki comes back drenched by the rain and ends up sick. Though he is in bed, he is currently being seduced by Sayuki. Can’t catch a break, huh? And then of course Yuika shows up. Instead of fighting each time they see other, they fight over him. Yeah, bad move, Keiki. Can he heal? But luckily the sister has more authority and kicks them out. Keiki manages to get his sleep as he dreams about the first time Mizuha was brought into the family. Yeah, how could he ever forget that? Then he goes talk to Mizuha to ask why and when she started falling for him. It was the first time they met. She can never forget the words he first said to her. As she lost her family in an accident and was alone, Keiki said they are going to be together forever as family. That was the clincher. How could she not fall for him after that? Thanks for always being her brother. With that, Keiki decides to keep being her brother. They also return to their normal lives. Of course some things never changed. Like perverts being perverts… Mizuha hopes he would one day date her as a lover and not a brother. So as he obliges that wish, Keiki finally discovers Mizuha’s true dark fetish secret: She is an exhibitionist! Now you understand why when Keiki enters the bathroom and sees her naked, she did not panic?! In fact, Keiki stumbles upon lots of naked Mizuha selfies! Oh sh*t! Hence the true mystery of the Cinderella panties finally answered: That day she was going commando. But after cleaning the clubroom, she felt sweaty and wanted to put them back on. However that was when Keiki returned and she had to hide. So will Keiki now accept his sister for who she is and make her his girlfriend? Sorry, no… I have a feeling he wants to stay away but he can’t because of his nii-san promise…

Love Is Pervert
I am guessing that as long as Keiki wants to have a girlfriend, the kind of girls that he attracts are perverts. Uh huh. He isn’t going to get a really normal girlfriend in life because fate seems to enjoy this cruel prank by making twisted perverted girls being attracted to him. And with that, all is well and normal in Keiki’s life. Either he dies a bachelor virgin or he succumbs and submits to one of these perverts. Yup. That’s pretty much his life. Life f*cking and screwing up for him.

It is your typical ecchi fanservice harem of the season and it is either you love it or be disappointed because it’s the same ol’ formula. A bevy of cute girls with their cliché stereotypes masked as some sort of weird fetish, check. Some kawaii pantsu shots, check. Main guy ‘dates’ each of them, check. Is that enough to satisfy what you are looking for? Then good. You’re all filled up and good to go. Otherwise, feel free to look elsewhere.

When guys are having such fetishes, they are branded as perverts and everything becomes uncomfortable and disgusting. When girls are the ones having such fetishes, it is all funny and sexy and we still get a hard on. Wow double standards. But we don’t care. Only new wave feminists might start complaining how we sexualize these girls as sex objects. But whatever, I don’t give a f*ck. Anyway, the girls having these weird perverted fetishes are the so called formula in making this series funny as well as giving it its much needed fanservice. You have a busty senior who wants to be a submitted slave. You have a flat washboard junior who wants to dominate others. You must always have that classmate who is into BL and a fujoshi. And last but not least, you can’t leave out your loving little sister trope. Oh wait. Plot twist! We’re not related! Yeah, saw that coming by a mile too. You mean we won’t have incest now???!!! Where’s the twisted fun in not f*cking your own imouto???!!! Haha. Just kidding. Obviously. I bet Mizuha could make a killing being an Instagram model or do soft porn… But I am sure nii-san won’t allow it…

Despite all their reasonable (although some may be considered as twisted) reasons, Keiki still entertains them and because of him accommodating others easily, this is a main reason why these girls don’t give up on him. You won’t find any other guys in school as obliging as him. Though, he still has his own line that he won’t cross. Because he certainly won’t become somebody’s master, he certainly won’t become somebody’s slave and he certainly won’t become the model of a gay subject. Other guys would have run away but this guy, yeah we’re still friends despite being weirdoes. He won’t abandon them because who else will they have? That very same kindness came to bite him back in the ass because he has to put up with these shenanigans. So it’s a race to his heart! Or his libido. May the best pervert win! And that’s why Keiki falls into that trap of being the typical clichéd main character. He’s got a harem but they are all twisted and have ulterior motives that result in him having to suffer a lot more rather than enjoy. Ah, the drawbacks of being such a generic main character. But the only thing ‘unique’ about him is his given name as Keiki. Feels like it is for that short convenience BL joke.

When Mizuha was revealed to be the Cinderella, it didn’t come to me as a surprise because I always suspected her from the start. I mean, after a few episodes in, there are subtle tell-tale signs that she could be the culprit. Because you know, Keiki has been focusing so much on the terrible trio of either Sayuki, Yuika or Mao that he failed to suspect the fourth which is his own sister. I guess you can say this was just right under his nose. As a normal guy, you can’t blame him for never suspecting his own sister. She is the only one who has free access to his room any time in the first place. Also, he is an idiot for conveniently forgetting his sister was adopted in the first place. HOW COULD HE EVEN FORGET???!!! Maybe Mizuha is being so sisterly sister that it feels like though as she was there the whole time. Yeah, convenient plot twist reveal. In any case, the biggest hint is watching the opening credits animation in which the quartet are shown to be the main running contenders to be Keiki’s harem (though Sayuki and Yuika are the front runners). And of course based on this too, I can tell that Koharu and Ayano are just ‘trolls’ and distractions and not part of the main harem. Uh huh. Having 6 girls in your harem is already too much and breaking the normal harem quota of 2-4 girls.

Art and animation feel pretty average although it hovers around mediocrity. Because of the somewhat light shading, is it me or do I find the characters to look mostly one kind. Not only that, I think I have seen them somewhere from other animes. Like Koharu who has this striking resemblance to Sagiri of Eromanga-sensei fame while Yuika while Mizuha could have been ripped off from Hinako Note’s Chiaki and Yuika looks like a petite version of Go-toubun No Hanayome’s Yotsuba (must be the hair ribbon). Long black haired Japanese girls seem like a dime a dozen but I can only think of Senran Kagura’s Ikaruga whom Sayuki looks similar to. In fact, doesn’t Keiki and his harem’s design copy off the one from Saenai Heroine No Sodatekata?! Wow. Look at the striking resemblance… A black long haired beauty, the blonde with an attitude and the short haired ‘normal’ girl. Wow… And finally Ayano… Is this how Rem and Ram of Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu looks like without their maid outfit?! This anime is collaborated by Geek Toys (RErideD: Tokigoe No Derrida) and Seven (Danna Ga Nani Wo Itteriru Ka Wakaranai Ken, Joshikausei, Nobunaga-sensei No Osanazuma, Okusama Ga Seitokaichou and Ousama Game).

The voice acting is pretty decent (oh the irony) and the only seiyuus I recognized are Hiro Shimono as Keiki (I guess he isn’t as smooth as his character Keima in The World God Only Knows) and Ayana Taketatsu as Sayuki. The rest of the other casts are Rina Hidaka as Yuika (Last Order in To Aru Majutsu No Index), Iori Nomizu as Mao (Yoshino in Date A Live), Kaede Hondo as Mizuha (titular character in Tejina-senpai), Ayaka Ohashi as Koharu (Saaya in BanG Dream), Keisuke Koumoto as Shouma (Raul in Yuushibu) and Anzu Haruno as Ayano (Mafuyu in Blend S).

I was so damn cocksure that the opening theme, Daisuki was sung by Ayana Taketatsu. Unfortunately, I was way off the mark. It was Ayaka Ohashi. I couldn’t really believe and had to listen to the song a few times over again. What do you mean this isn’t Ayana Taketatsu’s voice?! Doesn’t she sound like that?! Behold my unbeliever boy, it’s right there in the credits too. Damn, I guess I can’t argue with that. Oh, and the song itself? Nah, just your generic lively anime pop music. Not bad and a fitting piece for this series but not something I would be addicted to. The ending theme is Mubyuu No Hana by Mia Regina. A rather okay slow ballad if I must say.

Overall, this is just a pretty average and mediocre series. You only watch this if you are interested in the fanservice and some of the twisted fetish jokes. After all, this is what this series is all about, right? Certainly not the worst ecchi fanservice series out there because nobody tops Ore Ga Suki Nano Wa Imouto Dakedo Imouto Ja Nai ever since! Yeah, that series has become the benchmark of being just awfully bad. At the end of the day, each and every one of us has some sort of fetish or obsession. That’s how we get by life. The question of how tolerable and acceptable society perceives it to be. Then again, when you are truly in love, you accept the person for who they are. The flaws and imperfections are the actual reasons why you love that person. You accept the whole package as it is. But still, nobody loves a pervy middle aged otaku guy who likes hot sexy 2D anime girls :’(.

Joshikousei No Mudazukai

November 2, 2019

Finally after all these years, Danshi Koukousei No Nichijou has a female version to answer to. Folks, we present to you Joshikousei No Mudazukai AKA Wasteful Days Of High School Girls. And just like the title suggests, it is nothing but a bunch of high school girls wasting away, erm, I mean having fun with their high school life with all the idiotic antics and shenanigans. If the former series was too gay for you and lack any feminine touch, this should do the trick. Oh yeah. Did I mention that all of the female casts have such lovely nicknames taken after their most prolific trait for us to remember them by? Uh huh. No long ass tongue twisting names that would confuse our tiny brains. So is this another one of those ubiquitous cute girls doing cute things? Not exactly. More like weird girls doing weird things to be exact!

Episode 1
First day of high school. Nozomu Tanaka, Akane Kikuchi and Shiori Saginomiya are once again in the same class. Unfortunately for Nozomu, her dream is to be popular with boys and she realized too late that she just enrolled in an all-girls’ school! Damn. Their homeroom teacher is Masataka Sawatari. He gives his class a warning first. He is only into college girls. And all those ranting about the laws and men’s lives being ruined because of relationship with the under-aged thingy, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, everybody is starting to dislike him. Nozomu is so desperate to find a guy that she bugs this chuunibyou girl, Minami Yamamoto to introduce her to one. She doesn’t know any men. Only some Dragonia race… WTF… Then she bugs this petite girl who is conscious about her stature, Saku Momoi. I can let you ride me if you introduce me to a guy… WTF… Finally, Kanade Ninomae… Damn, she’s getting very technical and serious. But still no guys introduced. WTF… And then Nozomu gets frustrated because everyone has character and gives them nicknames like Loli (Saku), Yamai (Minami), Majime (Kanade), Robo (Shiori), Akane (Wota) and Waseda (Sawatari). Hence she tries to have her own nickname but I guess Minor Character or Nudist Family isn’t going to cut it. While taking supplementary lessons, she avoids doing any maths question and instead thinks about her future with no guys. Then she hit some sort of twisted inspiration. Maybe she didn’t realize she was that popular with boys! So is she going to interrogate her old male classmates? And then another problem… What if all the guys like her?! What would she do?! Oh dear. Big problem. Then she thinks she really wants a fateful encounter and goes on to list all the cliché and silly stuffs like childhood friend, etc. Each time, the punch line is that the guy calls her an interesting woman. Finally her friends realize the perfect nickname for her. No, it’s not Interesting Woman. It’s Baka. And she lives up to that name as she blabs about them being in their peak right now and if they don’t do their best now, they won’t get boyfriends in the future. It took her a while for the friends’ comment to impact her. Yeah, she’s the lowest of the lowest…

Episode 2
Wota tries to get inspiration to be a mangaka. But instead of starting now, she goes to sleep. That dream is harder to and harder achieve… Baka tries to bug Yamai and remove her clothes? It’s probably to see what kind of pantsu she is wearing. Whether it is normal or not. Baka, Wota and Robo are sharing some cereal snack and down to the last one. Hence begin their deliberation on who should get it. It turns out to be one big argument about the order of rock-scissors-paper. Eventually a struggle and the cereal drops on the ground. Everybody’s a loser. Yup, moral of the story, we shouldn’t be fighting among ourselves! Wota has Robo see the manga she has drawn because she knows too well that Baka will make fun of it. But Robo’s comments are too harsh. But it’s a fact. Then we see her dream of a strange magical girl dream. Her love cannot bend his knees? WTF?! Yeah, it’s that bad. I guess back to bed. Continue dreaming… Whenever Wota hears or sees her favourite anime, her face will transform into such cute quality. Then she is brought back to reality when she sees Waseda talking to another teacher as she imagines some weird BL sh*t between them. WTF?! Wota continues to find motivation to do her manga. She finds an old manga she drew when she was young. Going through it all over again, she finds it really weird. Bad drawing, inconsistent pacing and story are among all the other things that made no sense. Oh yeah. Those were the carefree days. I guess you are your own worst critic. In the end, she tries to use this as motivation for her current manga. Her character still doesn’t have bended knees, though… Waseda catches Yamai and wants an explanation why she scribbled on her test paper. Something about a cat from another world that needs to be rescued and hence practising her special move? Since she’s not listening, he plays along. What makes her the chosen one? Yeah, those moles on her arm are supposed to be some dragon constellation? But this still doesn’t remove the fact that she failed her test! Don’t run away! Get back here!

Episode 3
To avoid being looked down, Loli acts like a delinquent. However she still gets tricked by Baka to go see Waseda who didn’t call her. In turn she is made to call Baka for something. When Loli tries to put her down that Santa won’t give her presents, this has Baka and friends sympathizing over her. Still believe in Santa, huh? But back home, Loli is the cutest angel ever since she loves her grandma a lot. She goes to do errands on grandma’s behalf but keeps stumbling into Baka and co. Everywhere! Even in the next town! So much so when Baka spots her, she tries to force her to keep them company. Don’t talk and follow strangers, remember that’s what grandma always said. When her other friends too want to leave, Baka throws a tantrum and lies on the floor and won’t move. Not even using the janitor to peel her off worked. Oh well, let her be. As Loli has not enough money, she has to put back an item. It is meat to make hamburger. Hence she starts crying grandma will hate her for not being reliable. But don’t worry. Grandma isn’t mad at all and can somehow make the hamburger. In class, Baka sees Wota so focused. Must be thinking of BL, huh? So when Waseda calls her out for spacing out and to say what’s on her mind, she says Wota thinking about BL. Of course Wota freaks out and an argument ensues. Baka spots Loli’s grandma at school. She is here to give Loli her forgotten gym clothes. Baka helps her up the stairs. Bad enough she has no strength to carry her up, she realizes her shoe laces is untied! Trying to tie them without bending your knees? Luckily no big incident. Wanting to hear an interesting story from Loli, grandma says when she was 8 years old, she was supposed to go to Germany with her parents but didn’t want to so as to accompany grandma here. She is a kind little girl but doesn’t know how to rely on others. But there is a first time for everything. Loli manages to ask other students to lend her a set of gym clothes. Loli thinks it is blackmail when Baka hints she heard some juicy stories from grandma. Grandma is happy to see them get along and hopes they could take care of her. When Yamai is at the toilet, she hears the weirdest and scariest sound from the next cubicle. Although she is scared, the truth is that Robo was just taking a really huge dump.

Episode 4
Majime narrates despite being popular with other girls, she has always been captivated by Robo because of her mysterious aura. Her goal is to be friends with her but so far she has not seen any success. But observing Baka who could easily come up to talk to her like nothing, hence she decides to observe Baka to find the solution that will make her approachable. Not sure if watching Baka eat the entire Pocky sticks from Loli and making her cry is one of those. Waseda warns Baka that if she fails 3 subjects, it is either she’ll get supplementary classes or a crew cut. He’s serious. Time to push the panic button. Hence Baka goes to bug Majime to lend her notes. She’ll give a few fried chicken pieces in return! Her point in borrowing the notes is that if she fails, she can show she had all these notes, hence the teacher will reconsider. WTF?! After all the bugging, Majime relents. Majime realizes there is a chance for her to speak to Robo. Because she commented on fried chicken, Robo thinks she is a fried chicken fanatic. Thus Majime is now distraught of being a freak in Robo’s eyes. She tries to go through her notes but realizes she accidentally lent them to Baka! Oh no! On the day of the test, Majime is surprised Baka didn’t turn up. Well, she turned up late. With a crew cut! At least a wig. Oh well, it’s supplementary classes for her. After the test, Baka returns the notes to her. She claims she didn’t read it because the moment she saw all those words, her head started spinning so she stopped. Thank goodness! Phew! On a rainy day, Majime is stuck with Robo when they leave school. Trying to muster up something to talk, however Robo decides to go because she can’t wait for the rain to stop. So Majime lends her umbrella instead and claims she loves getting drench in the rain. Interesting girl? More like high level freak… Yeah, now Majime is sick… Who knows how long Yamai has been stuck up the trick because birds are building a nest in her hoodie! With Majime passing by, instead of asking to be rescued, she spouts all those chuunibyou crap. Of course Majime can’t let her be and brings her down and she is impressed the way she jumps down is like from an anime. Waseda confiscates anything illegal his students brought to class. Robo doesn’t mind he confiscate her bacteria. Just don’t expose them to air or else. Okay… You can have them back…

Episode 5
Lily Someya is a new transfer student in class. Definitely another weirdo as she says she hates men and likes women. Proof of her androphobia is when a man touches her, she will break out in hives. But when Baka touches her, WTF she breaks out in hives?! This has Lily wondering if she is a man. Then on a crowded train, circumstances have them pinned together. Hence in class she puts a tall tissue box border between them. She gets irked when Baka eats her smelly natto before her. Lily rushes out and accidentally touches Waseda. Scream fest. I guess a seat change is in order. Lily observes the several groups like the posh ones, the studious ones, the normal ones and those uncategorized. Yeah, that’s you Baka and co. She mixes with the normal ones as she wants to use them to raise her popularity since they keep praising about her. Then she sees Majime reject a confession. Using this opportunity to toy with her, she even hints she knows she is keeping an observation diary on Baka that could be for somebody else. Embarrassed Majime goes up very close to her and hopes she will keep this a secret. Lily realized she has been played into her hands as she was expecting a kiss from this situation. But saved by the bell? Next, she tries to talk with Loli and learns her misconception where babies come from comes from no other than Baka. Confronting Baka about it, an argument ensues so Baka is going to tell Loli straight. Yeah, she’s going to do that. Lily forcefully stops her and that means touching her to keep her mouth shut. Later Baka confronts Lily about thinking her as a man and proposes other situations too like a cross-dresser, a baby male, a cat male, a bullfrog male, a male statue and a flower stamen. Hence Robo comes up with an experiment. Lily will be blindfolded and they will randomly touch her hand. If she breaks into hives, then her phobia is genuine. Otherwise it is all in her mind. So the first 2 felt pretty normal. Nothing happening. When the third hand touches her, she feels so gross and thinks it is some bullfrog or something. Yup, she breaks into hives. Genuine phobia. Baka realizes she is a bullfrog… Waseda calls Yamai about the need to choose between science or humanities. But she drags out her chuunibyou drama for god knows what so he decides to call her parents to talk. It just took her 2 seconds to choose humanities.

Episode 6
Baka trying to be the king of stink by eating expired bread? Kohaku Kujou approaches them and hopes they can be friends with her elder sister, Hisui AKA Majo. You see, the occult loving sister has communications problems and has been skipping classes, giving excuses she has no friends. At this rate she will be expelled. That’s why Kohaku needs a favour from them to be her friends. With Baka agreeing to it, Kohaku tricks Majo to come here. Of course she tries to run away but with the girls agreeing to do whatever paranormal hunt, she must first come to school tomorrow. And so she did. She also cut her hair and make it into wreaths as token of their friendship. Forever. Scary… Because Kohaku told her to not always talk about the occult and go with those cute and girly things if she wants to have friends, then she had to bump into Yamai… Of course this chuunibyou thinks she is hiding something when Majo tries to be normal. Majo also tries to interact with others but it didn’t go too well. Just when Robo gives some good friendship advice, Baka had to ruin it as she doesn’t want a gloomy situation. The sisters are going to watch a romantic movie. Loli is also there. Awkward at first but they get along. Majo and Loli are reeling from the ‘horrifying’ romantic movie. Too much love! Too much cuteness! To improve her friendship, Majo creates some lottery ladder game to pick how her friends will die! Baka goes ahead and play… Beaten to death… When Majo is on cleaning duty, Yamai who has been stalking her finally shows herself in hopes she could reveal her secret. The way Majo says she loves the occult and blood, gives Yamai the creepers as she thinks she is some killer! Then Majo drops that lottery ladder paper. Oh sh*t. Yamai quickly throws it away and gets the hell out of there. Note to self. Do not piss off Majo! Later Majo hangs out with her friends. Loli also there. It seems their friendship is working out. She won some chocolate lottery and will never forget this taste. Hence she preserves this wrapper in a jar like everything else!!! On another day, Majo invites Loli to a movie. A horror movie! Is Loli dead? Robo also creates a similar lottery ladder for Baka to play. The catch? All of the results are face mites!

Episode 7
Waseda brings Yamai in as he notices she has more bandages than before. After bribing some sweets and some weird chuunibyou crap, she reveals some of them are to be rashes. Caused by the bandages. He fears she might have slit her wrist but turns out she drew a horrible wristwatch. And the ‘worst’ is her forehead. Because it’s all pimples… Waseda then realizes it isn’t the physical illness that is worst… The one in her head… On a weekend, Yamai goes to the arcade and sees a plushie she wants and plays the crane game. Failed. She thinks of waiting for other couples to fail so she could have an easier time getting it. Well, they got it at first go! Even the staff pities her and puts it in the easiest possible way. However she still fails! Then here comes Majime to help her out. She too gets it at first go. WTF is some sort of yuri romance blossoming? Because Yamai wants to take a commemorative photo of this event. Turns out she’s an attention seeker so she posts that photo online to get likes. Yamai tries to wear a different coloured contact lens. If only she didn’t close her eye, that’s why she can’t get it in… But thanks to that, the infection causes her to have a bloodshot eye. In the infirmary, the school nurse, Shiikyon gives her wear an eye-patch. Shiikyon might regret having Yamai to talk her because it’s that chuunibyou crap all the way. Hence to get her out, Shiikyon also fakes some chuunibyou BS. That worked. Later Yamai orders a gas mask and brings it to school. Of course Waseda confiscates it but it seems the idiots are in sync. Hence Yamai passes it to Baka to make a run while she holds Waseda back. But shortly, Baka gives up because she isn’t sure what a gas mask is. Later Yamai sees Shiikyon trying it for size? And Majo explaining how it was from a fallen vengeful soldier and she wanted to exorcise it. That’s all the drama she can take for today. One day on her way to school, Yamai got herself stuck in a picture cut-out hole. Of course Baka comes by and laughs at her before joining her. Two stuck girls. Because Yamai needs to go to the toilet, they have no choice but to drag all the way to school. So once Waseda sees them, he takes a few selfies before cutting them out. During the award presentation, Yamai and Baka are trying to outdo each other as the last clap. Of course it gets more awkward and everyone starts to notice. Baka being Baka, she eventually starts clapping when everyone is done and is taken away by Waseda. Not sure what Yamai understood in that because she also did the same thing and got the same treatment.

Episode 8
Baka thinks of winning the raffles to go on an overseas trip. Unfortunately this isn’t like the manga. Tissues. More tissues. And a piggy bank. So disappointing… When Robo tells of a scary story how a girl got barnacles growing in her bra, Baka hatches a plan. Yeah, she starts to sell them online! Too bad, site taken down in 3 minutes! Report!!! Baka then bugs Lily on how to attract guys so she mentions about the 5 S’s. Then everyone starts to give their own silly interpretation of what it stands for. Baka remembers the school has a swimming pool on the roof so why isn’t anybody using it? Well, some ping pong club member died and it was closed off. Then they proceed to talk more about the school’s urban legends, freaking the hell out of Loli. Late that night, Lily spots Loli wandering alone. It seems she forgot her handphone but is too scared to return to get it. Lily accompanies her but with the ulterior intention of enjoying every time fearful Loli squeezes her tightly. They pass through several scary urban legends but they turn out to be false alarms. Like that moaning from the toilet turns out to be Majime stuck because the lock broke and everyone was scared to approach the cubicle. Then there is also Majo trying to do summoning of an old ghost since she didn’t understand history class. That piercing stare from the window? Just Yamai stuck on the tree. After getting Loli’s handphone, they hear strange ping pong noises on the roof. Could it be the ghost of that ping pong club member? Nah. Baka and co playing ping pong to put the spirit to rest. They already got permission from Waseda so why not take a night swim! Conveniently, there are new swimsuits, enough for the other girls to put on and join in the splashing fun. What a time of their life. Next day as Baka heads for supplementary class, she is shocked to see the pool in a dilapidated state. So what they heck was last night?! Oh sh*t!!!!! Then it turns out to be one elaborated horror story told by Baka. Yeah, should have seen this coming when you saw Baka had big boobs to boot. That is the real scary story…

Episode 9
Loli sees a weak boy being bullied but when she tries to tell them off, they mistake her for a kindergarten kid because she has no boobs. Because of that, Loli seeks the help of Lily, Wota and Majime on how to make her boobs bigger. She doesn’t understand why big boobs have their downfalls too but hell she doesn’t understand Lily’s advice to show boobs off embarrassingly. So the best answer is to go shopping for a bra. Thanks to Lily’s advice, Loli now looks she has boobs wearing a B-cup. Now she can tell those bullies off. The moment she does so, they run away in fear because they thought her stomach has a secret weapon. Huh? It seems her strapless bra has sagged down to her stomach! Poor Loli. She went crying to grandma… In hopes of making a fashion change, Loli did something that has the class trying to hold in their laughter. Baka can’t stand it and wants to tease her for her huge eyebrows but Lily stops her. I guess she too can’t contain her laughter. She learns that as Loli was trying to look more fashionable and mature, she accidentally cut her eyebrows so she painted over it to cover her mistakes. Hence with Majime, they head to Loli’s house in this so called fashion study group. Loli is given lots of makeover that it is amazing that Lily manage to hold back her inner beast and not rape her. Next they head to Majime’s house and her mom can’t stop pinching cute Loli’s cheeks. When she finds Lily oh so pretty, Lily prepares to give her a kiss?! WTF?! Luckily, nothing yuri happened. Lily is appalled at Majime’s boyish fashion sense and proceeds to give her some decent makeover. In the end, Majime and Loli are grateful to their fashion master but Lily has had her lovely feel of feeling up Loli and molesting Majime’s boobs so the payoff’s worth it. Next day when Lily tries to be more fashionable by herself, she did another faux pas that has the class trying to hold back their laughter. Yeah, she cut her bangs too much that she looks like a kokeshi doll. Oh dear. Back to crying to grandma… Granny, give me your bangs!!! Loli so desperate…

Episode 10
The list is out for the classes the students will be streaming in. Except for Baka. Because she won’t be pigeonholed and choose science or liberal arts! This somehow leads to an argument with Wota because of their test scores. With Baka mad, Robo gives her something to do and every time she completes it, it is that feeling of happiness. Until to a point Baka and Wota are back to friends again! Of course Robo explains the psychological trick to let one who is mad to be distracted with a new task and produce feeling of pleasure when one completes it. Since Baka is truly an idiot, this is easy. On the train, Takahashi has secret crush on Robo. He overanalyses everything she says and thinks into something beautiful while mocking her friends the idiot and retorting master. Soon he turns into a stalker but he isn’t just content with watching her. Summing up his courage to talk to her, eventually she lends him a book she is reading. Uhm, Why Is My Friend’s House Smelly? Loli and Majime are shocked that Baka and Robo are fighting! OMG! This has never happened before. Hence Baka tells the story of how the 3 of them were in the same elementary school but started to go to different middle schools. On their last middle school year, they started hanging out together again and they were shocked to hear Robo who was a smart girl wanted to go to the same school as them. She told them off not to decide her life for her. It was the first time she was emotional. Later she learnt Robo was alone and had no friends because she was weird and people avoided her. So it’s a blessing that they ended up in this school, right? So why were they fighting? Actually Baka accidentally smashed Robo’s petri dish that contained her pet microorganism. Did you waste your time hearing that story? Oh, I thought it was a pretty nice friendship story. But of course that fight won’t stay long and they’re back as friends. Takahashi returns the book to Robo with pretence to confess. But he chickens out and talks about his friend, Aoyama’s smelly house instead. So it boils down to friendship issues and some childhood friend girl? Wota and Baka think if Robo gets a boyfriend, maybe he will have cool guys to introduce to them. Suddenly Aoyama who has been eavesdropping, jumps out and hugs his best friend! Not into this gay moment… She gives Takahashi and odour meter. So later her friends ask her about her prospects of Robo dating Takahashi. She would be interested if he becomes a candidate for her anti-aging DNA manipulation experiment! Meanwhile Waseda confronts Yamai about not handing in her notes. She starts rapping a diss track. To put it shortly, she forgot her bag while she was eating at the ramen store. So this rapping was just some stylish way to apologize?

Episode 11
Wota is having a writer’s block so she listens to her favourite artist to wind down, Teishotoku P. She really loves this dudes and imagines meeting him one day. Of course as we have seen the last time, his real identity is Waseda. And this current song she is listening to, it was inspired of his trip to a barber who only talked about cats and dogs! Boy, that sure made him mad thinking back about it. Wota as a big fan even uploads herself singing it and Waseda hears it. Damn, those unwanted memories. As Waseda is at a doujin event trying to sell his CDs, he realizes that Wota is coming to see him and that is when he connects the dots that she is that girl who uploaded sang a cover of his song. In fear he would disappoint her, he disguises himself and tries not to talk much so as not to give himself away. Wota is ecstatic to see him, the usual biggest fan quotes of loving your songs, etc. Then she starts going off topic about how his songs helped her in manga and also mending friendship. It is getting awkward so she leaves. Waseda wonders if it is right to deceive her like this but the next door seller tells him to go after her (after some weird food metaphors). Waseda catches up to Wota and reveals himself and the truth. She is in shock and realizes all his love for Teishotoku P was directed at her teacher! Super embarrassing! She wants to die! However Waseda adds that it is because of people like her who like his songs, this allowed him to continue writing music. For that he is grateful. It is a gloomy atmosphere for Wota back home. She still can’t believe Teishotoku P is him. Heartbreak. How can she face him in school now? But as she continues to hear his songs, this gives her the motivation not to give up and heads back to work on her manga. In school, they’re cool with each other. Like as though that never happened.

Episode 12
Majo receives a bad premonition of Baka. I guess reality is hitting hard. Waseda warns she must pass the upcoming exams or risk being held back a year. Guess what? She laughs it off and even thinks her sleeping method is some special way to study! Heck, Baka even giving up on actually passing the exams?! Wota isn’t going to allow that and forcefully becomes her Spartan mentor. Study!!! Majime even helps out with her unorthodox, uhm, storytelling method? Yeah, not working either. When it seems that she is progressing nicely, then after she takes a dump, she forgets everything!!! WTF?! What kind of brain she has???!!! Because her friends are really going to get serious in making her study again, Baka has had it. She gives up on being a high school girl! Baka has been absent for 3 days and this worries her pals. They soon find that she is working at a pig farm. When they go visit, they see her happily talking to the pigs. She named them after her friends. Yeah… When Baka spots them for real, she gets surprised and insists she won’t go back to studying. However Wota claims things hasn’t been the same without her. Who will be there to make her comebacks? Even Robo thinks there is no meaning to attend this school without her! After all that heart tugging, it’s easy to bring this idiot back. Well, if she didn’t go hug the pigs… Although Baka is back, all studying methods still didn’t help. On the day of the exams, it looks like she is close to dying. But don’t worry, Majo comes flying in to let her drink some elixir that changes fate! Tastes horrible… Almost lethal… Her eyes are turning red and she’s coughing blood! Is she gonna be okay???!!! Well, Waseda watching knows that Baka will be alright. In the passing the exam sense, that is. But he knows the real problem now is Yamai… Don’t you turn your back on me, young lady. Miraculously, Yamai also passed and with Baka they’re in the same class. However Yamai thinks they’re in a parallel dimension because everyone else looks different. You won’t fool us. Because they’re in the wrong class as Waseda drags them back.

Youth Is Wasted On The Young
Ah… Everybody gets to be in the same class for the next year. What a happy ending. I’m sure class would be as lively or even livelier with such idiots around. Uh huh. Seeing that short period in the final episode whereby Baka wasn’t around, everything is so quiet and peaceful but it doesn’t feel right! Don’t you see, Baka! You’re the most important person ever! Without you, life would be so boring and meaningless! You make life worthwhile! Your presence is everything! So don’t you again dare leave everybody by staying behind and let everyone move forward! The future is always idiotic!

Lacking any sort of story plot whatsoever, as usual this kind of anime relies on how well the characters play their part to be ‘lovable’ in our eyes. Quirky as they may be, I suppose I have seen so many such series in the same genre throughout the years that I am somewhat numb to it all. Yes, there are some funny moments but that comes with the package and so a ‘veteran’ like me, it is all expected. Nothing really surprising. Hence the episodes divided into a few skits are palatable to see each of the characters doing their antics.

You’ve got the resident idiot AKA Baka who lives up to her nickname and role because this series would have been a whole lot subdued and not funny at all without her antics. She is responsible for a big majority of stupidity and the formula of what makes this series funny. Otherwise nobody would get Robo’s bland monotonous remarks (you might even wonder if they are even jokes in the first place), Majime is too serious to be even funny herself, Yamai’s chuunibyou might be painful-cum-cringe-worthy to watch and everyone mistaking Loli for a kindergarten kid would become a very boring running joke that we could see coming from miles away. Majo feels like the fringe member of the main casts and is often so MIA most of the time and her jokes in trying to be sociable (or forced to be one) fall flat. So never change, Baka. You might be an idiot but you’re everyone’s favourite idiot! Oh, that’s a compliment for your information.

Therefore you can’t help each time to be flabbergasted and dumbfounded by the things that Baka is going to say. So much so, Wota her natural rebuke machine tries not to give her a chance to say her ‘philosophical thinking’ because at the end of the day, it would still be crap. The questions she posed at first might give rise to some thinking but then when the logic behind it is revealed, it is just as dumb and a stupid question indeed. I guess there are only things that real idiots can think off. Maybe Baka just wants some attention. That’s why she is such a good troublemaker-cum-simpleton. Maybe it’s not because she wants to ask stupid questions but rather who cares enough to stop her? Nah! She’s not that sophisticated! You might want to have second thoughts when she starts off saying, “Hey, do you want to hear something amazing?!”. Depends if you’re going to make me laugh or cringe… Or both…

Waseda is the most ‘pitiful’ character since he is having it tough as a teacher trying to put up with some of the troubled girls. Especially Baka and Yamai who are serial offenders. You got to give it to this guy for still being calm although you can hear his inner thoughts that he is this close to losing his sh*t. His poker face rebuke says a lot. The pressure he has to deal with these idiots, one after another. The kind of deadpan look that says, “I wish I wasn’t here doing this sh*t” or “Somebody please take me away from this hell…”. After all, the only way to beat idiots is to beat them at the very own game they play. And now he is going to continue to be the homeroom teacher for these idiots in their second year? His patience game must be very strong…

All in all, the characters do live up to their nicknames that they have been given. Except for Lily. I wonder why she is such an exception. Is it because she is the prettiest? Then why not call her Bijin? I think that would rub Baka the wrong way because you know her idiotic character. But perhaps because her role leans towards lesbianism, it could be that Yuri could have been a fitting nickname for it. However Lily is the English name for Yuri so I guess there’s the subtlety.

For the voice acting department, the one that noticeably stands out is Haruka Tomatsu as Wota. That’s because due to her character, she’s like trying to sound like a loud retard. I’m not insulting her whatsoever because she sounds damn funny whenever she goes loud in this mode. Usually when she is retorting Baka’s antics or get excited about her otaku stuffs. It’s been quite a while since I have heard her going into this overdrive voice mode. Kudos to her. The other one who stands out is Maria Naganawa as Loli (Kanmuri in Slow Start). I don’t know how to put this but she sounds really weird trying to sound as a loli. It makes her sound kinda fake because her voice sounds somewhat muffled. Other recognizable seiyuus include Aki Toyosaki as Robo (not her first emotionless character attempt, somewhat reminds me a bit of Re: Creator’s Altair but without all that evilness) and Satomi Satou as Lily.

The other casts include Chinatsu Akasaki as Baka (Yasuna in Kill Me Baby), Rie Takahashi as Majime (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu), Miyu Tomita as Yamai (titular character in Gabriel Dropout), Mao Ichimichi as Majo (Bada in ClassicaLoid), Reina Ueda as Kohaku (Akane in SSSS.Gridman), Kazuyuki Okitsu as Waseda (Hisui in K) and Kaori Nazuka as Shiikyon (Chelsea in Akame Ga Kill). In line with the crazy and nonsensical pace of this series, the opening theme fits it perfectly like the glove. Wa! Moon! Dass! Cry! By the trio behind Baka, Robo and Wota sing this crazy hip hop piece and one part of the aesthetic visuals itself is creatively crazy. The song might not by near any one of favourites for the season of the year but it is ‘catchy’ enough to do a little jiggle before watching the episode proper. The same trio sing the ending theme, Seishun No Reverb. Just a slow piece and nothing that spectacular. Which also feels a bit odd seeing all the craziness that happened in the episode, then this somewhat ‘calming’ piece. I guess that’s enough craziness for one episode.

Art and animation look clean and simple. Nothing really controversial except maybe the fact that I think I am a bit paranoid with Wota’s character design. It might just be a big coincidence but not only she looks suspiciously close to Shizuku from Tonari No Kaibutsu-kun, but they have the same voice actress too. Suspicious… Very suspicious… This anime is animated by Passione who did High School DxD Hero, Citrus, Hinako Note and Rokka No Yuusha.

Overall, there is nothing much for me to say for this series. Rather okay and enjoyable for the season. A pass. Nothing extraordinary or ground breaking. Just another one of those ubiquitous cute girls doing cute things. Oops, make that weird girls doing weird things. If you like Asobi Asobase and Nichijou, this series is right down your alley. Funny and charming characters to tickle your funny bone for the season without any confusing plot and the need to follow up on the story so far. We might all laugh at them for doing silly things but please bear in mind that you are only young once in your lifetime. For better or worse, the only time when you can do all those silly stuffs is when you are young and energetic. That by itself isn’t technically a waste of time. Maybe just a waste of energy.

Just in time for the Halloween season. Chainsaws. The kind of tool that you would normally see being used by the lumberjack and timber industry or psychotic serial killers. Not really considered a weapon of choice by many since it takes quite a considerable amount of strength to hold it up. But still, some choose to wield it for various reasons, making them stand out and looking far more dangerous. Even more so when the wielder is female. So listed below are the anime girls with chainsaw in no particular order:

Hime (Kaibutsu Oujo)
   

Perhaps the first ever anime character that I have seen using a chainsaw. While she also uses a variety of other weapons to fight against her enemies such as rapiers to guns and even a defibrillator, the chainsaw is by far her most trademark choice of weapon.

Haruna (Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka)

When you think of magical girls, one would unlikely think that chainsaws would be their main standard weapon. Unless you are this magical girl in training. What’s more, a pink chainsaw. Mysteltainn apparently doesn’t just transform you into a magical girl as it can also communicate with you. Wow. This is like a magical sidekick and a weapon all combined into one.

Ile & Nel (High School DxD)

What could be more dangerous than a girl wielding a chainsaw? Why, a pair of lolis wielding a chainsaw each! Not much can be said about these psychotic twins since they only appeared prominently for a short while during the Rating Game between Rias and Riser. They are quickly defeated due to underestimating Issei.

Hazuki Sakurazaka (Nogizaka Haruka No Himitsu)

Maid character + chainsaw = epic win! She has a habit of whipping out her chainsaw from thin air. Makes me wonder where and how she keeps it in her apron. Or does she have some magic properties like Fairy Tail’s Erza by storing them in some alternate storage space? Whatever ways she does it, she would sure spring a surprise to those trying to mess with her.

Frederica Sawyer (Black Lagoon)

Perhaps the most famous female chainsaw wielder in the list. While masquerading as some meat packaging business, her actual job is to execute people in the most brutal ways so as to serve example to others. Aside a torturer, she is also an assassin and her chainsaw comes really handy in deflecting bullets. You really need great strength and speed for that!

Yurine Hanazono (Jashin-chan Dropkick)

When you have a stupid and stubborn lamia who is always trying to get the better of you at every chance, the only way to prevent all that is to get the better of her first! Although Yurine uses a myriad of tools to bring Jashin to know her place, the chainsaw still remains as one of the most memorable tool. Though, its effectiveness can’t be said since Jashin never really learns from all those slicing tortures.

Sumire (Shoumetsu Toshi)

The most recent character in the list to have been seen wielding a chainsaw. Because she is just a minor character and a member of Phantom Thief Brigade X, there is not much known why this gothic girl wields a chainsaw except to add to the fact that the rest of her comrades are equally weird as well. Not that I could see her putting it to good use anyhow. I don’t know. It just felt like a waste for her character to be holding a macabre weapon and not see her slice and dice with it. Oddly, her chainsaw is the most colourful. Did she stick tainted glass on it?

Inumi (Dai Mahou Touge)

I’m in luck! It was by random browsing that I stumbled upon this character that would have otherwise easily been omitted from my list. This ‘ugly’ underling of Anego only had a few short cameo appearances as she and the rest of the goons try to take down arch rival Punie. Unfortunately, no matter what kind of weapons you have, nobody can best Punie when she delivers her submission moves. Lyrical Tokarev, Kill Them All!

Oh, You’re Gonna Be Saw-rry…
I tried my best to find more but it seems this is all that I could get. Though, I believe there could be others out there but just that my Google and memory power are very lacking. In fact, I left out Chainsaw Maid because it is claymation. Damn, it would have been so epic despite that 2007 ONA was just 6 minutes. What did I say about maid + chainsaw? Then there is that horrendous Ousama Game in which the b*tch antagonist, Natsuko getting a chainsaw in the episode’s finale trying to slice the survivors. I didn’t put this one in either since it felt more of something random and it’s not like that Natsuko character uses on a frequent basis. Though, I believe she is the only character who got the chainsaw used fatally against her in the end.

And perhaps the most famous female protagonist who wields a chainsaw is that not of anime origin. I’m sure everyone knows about Juliet Starling from Lollipop Chainsaw, right? Who? You know, that hot sexy high school cheer leader chick turned zombie slayer? Well, the closest to anime she got was a DLC costume that impersonates the characters in High School Of The Dead. All in all, chainsaws aren’t as ubiquitous or mainstream as swords or guns. But when it comes to spilling guts and blood, nothing beats the incessant grinding teeth cutting deep into your skin and bones. Just remember to fill it up with gas or it’ll just be an oversized and bulky sword.

Is your crotch itching right now? Studies show that men often think a lot more of sex per day on average. Even it shows so, that doesn’t mean that women do not think of the same. Thinking less about sex doesn’t mean that they don’t think at all. After all, we’re just humans and it is just plain human nature to think about sex, right? Yeah, we’re all just walking horny beasts. Anyway, when you’re that age hitting puberty, thoughts of sex especially about the opposite gender would most probably skyrocket. Hence Araburu Kisetsu No Otome-domo Yo is a story about a group of young high school girls curious on the topic of love and sex. Not to say they are horny and wet as f*ck, but there are some things that you just can’t (ironically) decently learn in school and textbooks. Navigating and fumbling their way through love and lust would probably lead to a lot of weird and bizarre situations and moments but nothing beats hands on experience learning, right? Sort of.

Episode 1
The literature club girls are reading passages from an erotic novel. Sure this is not a sex club disguised as a pseudo literature club? The only popular girl in club among the boys is Niina Sugawara. President Rika Sonezaki seems like a stuck up b*tch, Hitoha Kongou gives off this mysterious aura while Kazusa Onodera and Momoko Sudou are just plain. Really plain. Kazusa has a neighbour and childhood friend, Izumi Norimoto whom is very popular among girls. Because of this relatively closeness, other jealous girls badmouth behind Kazusa’s back that she hogs Izumi. Kazusa continues to have trouble as she discovers new erotic meanings and terms used in sex. I guess now she knows what deflowering means… As the literature club girls discuss another new released book of an author, suddenly Niina announces she wants to have sex. I mean, she really wants sex. The D. True penetration! What’s the rush? You still have a long life ahead, no? What do you mean you don’t have much time left???!!! Kazusa seeks some explanation but she’s even pretty enigmatic about that. This greatly affects Rika a lot so when she overhears some girls talking about doing it with some boys, she blows her top. Naturally the bad girls dare fight her but the boys put an end to this. No use fighting over someone who isn’t pretty. This leaves Rika red faced. Until Shun Amagi says otherwise. He thinks she is pretty but everyone else thinks he is joking. This makes Rika wondering if he is making fun of her. Back to Kazusa, now she hears girls wanting to steal Izumi’s virginity. That evening, mom send her over to deliver some food to him. Nobody’s home? But the door is unlock. Ojama shimasu. Some light and weird noises coming out from Izumi’s room. The moment she opens the door… OMFG!!! Izumi watching porn!!! WITH HIS PANTS DOWN!!! Don’t panic. Coolly put your pants back on. Coolly turn off the video. Coolly say please keep this a secret… Unfortunately Kazusa goes berserk as she darts out of his home. I guess there is only so much she could take. She runs through town and sees every damn signboard as some sort of sexual innuendo! So what is it that she is so afraid? She thinks it won’t fit?! But she starts crying over this. She cannot bear the thought of sex taking over her life. Welcome to a man’s mind…

Episode 2
Kazusa spots a guy trying to hit on Niina. Niina then sends a message to her seeking her help. So this creep of course is trying to get in her pants when Niina introduces Kazusa as the biggest slut in the group. She acts according to script and yells out loud about her itching crotch! Sure scared the hell out of that guy. Later Niina explains that because she is naturally pretty, guys often look at her in a sexual way. Hence a friend in an acting troupe taught her ways on how to go about this. She still sounds enigmatic about why she would die young. Is she referring to her youthful looks? Back home, Kazusa wants to talk to dad about boys. Too bad dad is more interested in trying to order pizza! WTF?! Oh yeah. He’s a real man for sure… But Izumi is here and he wants to talk. No progress. He hopes she would forget what she saw. Meanwhile Hitoha is being told by her editor to write something erotica. Not porn. Something erotic. Otherwise he would look for other girls who would be dying to get in her shoes. This leaves Hitoha in a bitter taste. Rika has a mishap during gym as she knocks her crotch on the horse. Vault. This has everyone laughing at her she broke her hymen. She runs away embarrassed and while washing up herself, Amagi comes to talk to her. But she still finds it embarrassing when he finds her beautiful and all. Later Rika comes up with banned words that has sexual connotations. It looks more like some bad sex puns…And then the title of Suffering of Erotica Experience somehow shortened to… SEX! Damn, they’re naturally good? Kazusa sees a girl trying to confess to Izumi. Eavesdropping, it’s a good thing he turned her down but unfortunately he didn’t finish it off since he says he doesn’t have someone he likes so that girl uses this opportunity to have him think and change his mind whenever. So when Kazusa confronts him about this, a big argument ensues. She can’t say that sex word so he is unsure of what she’s accusing him of. More woes for the literature club as the principal and his vice march in to threaten to shut down the club. They received complaints about them reading vulgar material out loud. Hey, literature is art! But the worst offence is that they have no advisor. You mean not a decent teacher wants to be the advisor of the literature club? Kazusa is most affected as this club means everything to her. But Niina also knows another reason she is crying. She asks her if she wants to do it with Izumi. Not sure? She rephrases it if there was a person whom she must have sex with to save the world, who would it be? Without hesitation, she answers Izumi. That only means she is in love with him. Problem solved. Can I assume those are tears of joy?

Episode 3
When Hitoha sees a book released at the store, she storms out furious. She calls her editor about not telling her on going with another author. He claims her works are like total fantasy and unrealistic. Because of that, Hitoha is frustrated and feeling the need for experience, the person whom she has always been chatting online with, she wants to have sex with him. In real life! Izumi talks to Niina as she was the one who recorded his confession to that girl and wants her to delete that video. However she deflects the question and ask him about the person whom he would love to have sex with. He doesn’t give a definite answer so she tells him that girls also think about sex. Even Kazusa. Meanwhile the rest are going around asking teachers to be their advisor. You mean it is that bad that nobody really wants to be it? One day, Kazusa is tasked to bring something to Izumi’s house again. In his room, she notices an old kiddie video they used to watch together. Only… This time this is where he hides is porn Blu-ray disc!!! Hitoha goes to meet the supposed person. Hmm… Looks a bit familiar. Isn’t he that nerdy pathetic teacher in their school, Tomoaki Yamagishi? He runs away the moment he spots her and manages to give her the slip. Izumi realizes his favourite porn disc is missing. Oh no. Couldn’t it be… As the literature club is moments away from being disbandment, Hitoha then brings Yamagishi who agrees to be their advisor. Saved. Who’d knew blackmail would be such a great tactic. Yamagishi reluctantly attends the literature club’s activities but he also gives off decent analysis about the texts they read. He is after all a teacher of language arts. That night, Kazusa tries to sneak back the disc when nobody is home. Then she realizes the porn scene is on the bus than on a train. She remembers Izumi loves trains so much that he cares not to taint it. I’m not sure about this logic but yeah, whatever. Just when Kazusa is glad that he hasn’t changed, here comes Izumi. He tries to make it clear and admits despite he thinks about those stuffs, he never once thought of doing it with anybody. Anybody. Oh dear. Wrong word too. Because now Kazusa is sad thinking he never really wanted to have sex with her. Those aren’t tears of joy definitely. She runs away. He tries to catch her. They fall. Ambiguous position. Then it’s like she lost all vibe and just walks out like a zombie. Enough damage for today?

Episode 4
With Rika having a change in style and losing those glasses, damn the whole class takes note of how pretty she is! She’s like a twin of that famous model, Erika! Because Amagi was the one who proposed this, they think he likes her. This has Rika embarrassed enough to tell off everyone she won’t be falling for that fool. Later Amagi approaches her and confirms that he might be starting to fall for her. However she tells him to write a 50 page report why he likes her! With Kazusa still in a dilemma over Izumi, Momoko talks to Niina about love. Niina is fine with people borrowing feelings because this would lead to discovery of your own true feelings. Hitoha approaches Yamagishi being a young man with sexual fantasies and that’s a problem since he is a teacher. He assures he has no interest in high school girls and explains how crude and unrefined they are. As for the online thingy, he had the impression Hitoha was a middle aged man. This makes Hitoha mad. So she tries to get back at him by going on top of him? I’m sure it awakened some strange lust inside her. Momoko is invited by her classmates to go karaoke. She is not used to this and even more so when the guys start singing songs about f*cking!!! Hence Satoshi Sugimoto talks to her outside. It seems he is her childhood friend and moved away but never forgot about her. They exchange contacts for a start. Momoko relays this good news to Kazusa and the former is ecstatic like as though this is straight out from a shoujo manga. This has Momoko thinking that she want to try falling for him and maybe have sex with him too. Ganguro girl, Sonoe Juujou tries to befriend Rika but the latter is not amused. Later Amagi hands over his 50 page report to Rika! Yeah, he did it. Being a critic is easy… I wonder how she can go on further if she is already startled by a few lines of him describing her cuteness. How does he fill in the rest of the pages? Spam “Cute!”. The last page should be the clincher. It asks her to date him. That lust thingy may have screwed Hitoha’s brain because now she wants Yamagishi to teach her about real sex! Izumi needs to talk to Niina about something. Hence when Kazusa sees them together on the train, you bet her mind is going to explode. Remember what Niina said about sex before dying, right?

Episode 5
Izumi accidentally talks about trains so Niina to notes she is somewhat interested in them because it is like a box carrying lives. When she spots an old man walking out, she takes Izumi by the hand to come with her. Then she calls out to Hisahi Saegusa and says Izumi is her boyfriend. Saegusa looks like he doesn’t give a damn and walks off. Hitoha is being chauffeured by Yamagishi. She hides the moments she sees Kazusa and Momoko on the streets. Yamagishi notes her aspiration to become an erotic novelist but he doesn’t want to be shunned by society by engaging in this. But he has an idea. Niina tells Izumi about Saegusa. He is a famous playwright director of Soyokaze Troupe. She was one of the many young children taking lessons under him. Niina wasn’t particularly interested and even more shocking he made her his lead actress. When she tried ditching practice, he rubbed his face on her feet! If she doesn’t want a part in this then kick him! Is this guy some sort of lolicon masochist? Saegusa treated Niina well and this went on for many years until puberty hit her. She hinted about sex but Saegusa the moment he did that with her, she will cease to be a girl. He admits she has all the womanly charms that others would find attractive of. One day when she decides to fly the nest, he will venture out and find a new vestige of her. That will be their happy ending. Izumi is shocked when Niina says Kazusa has a crush on him because that never really occurred to him. When Kazusa and Izumi’s family go bowling together, the duo feel awkward but eventually childhood memories made it easier to break the ice. Izumi then mentions about Niina. She is more weird than cute. Momoko feels weird after her date with Sugimoto. It’s like he insist in paying his part for her meal. Later she realizes from his text that he was trying to be her father since she doesn’t have one. He assures her because he also has friends in the same situation. Weird. In school, Hitoha hides in a corner trying to flash her panties to Yamagishi. However she chickened out. Apparently this was his idea as an experiment and despite she is embarrassed, she also felt excited. Rika hands back Amagi’s report. Yeah, lots of grammatical mistakes. But don’t read it now? Stubborn Amagi does so and when she tries to stop him, the papers scatter everywhere. In their bid to recollect them, Amagi spots the last page. Rika somewhat answered his question that she would also like to date him. I guess he passed. Nothing makes a guy happier when a girl says yes. Rika despite being embarrassed, I take it that she is also quite happy.

Episode 6
A group of students hope the literature club can come up with some amazing love legend for the cultural festival. Apparently they are ‘amazed’ at last year’s Hitoha’s literature reading. Actually it was so boring that they found peace and fell asleep! Grrr!!! Surprisingly Rika agrees to do it in hopes of taking the club to a higher level. Later Hitoha tries to show Yamagishi her thong. She fails again since he doesn’t look like he is looking forward to it. Kazusa and Niina’s friendship is starting to get tense. The former worried about Niina and Izumi being ‘close’ and Kazusa is comparing her plain looks to Niina’s beautiful complexion. Kazusa is upset Niina and Izumi think each other as weird. She too wants to be thought of as weird? Meanwhile Rika doesn’t approve of Amagi telling everyone they are dating because others will start misunderstanding she might be obsessed in love than academics. So Amagi asks her a simple question if she wants to date him. Because she sounds sheepishly agreeing to that, he doesn’t seemed convinced. The literature club discuss ideas for that legendary legend. However no matter how many ideas they come up, Yamagishi shoots it down because there have already been complaints and cases and hence the committee already took steps to ban it. This leads to them going on a field trip to brainstorm. Where will they be staying? You can thank Yamagishi for that. Courtesy of Hitoha’s blackmailing again of course. During the train trip, the Kazusa-Niina tension rises further with Kazusa now disheartened Niina knows Izumi’s love for trains. And they had tea together?! Flashback when Momoko tried to warn Niina about this, Niina explained how girls often hated her for accusing her of stealing guys whom she was never interested to begin with. Kazusa sounded like she is no different. In order to help her, Niina intends to make things even worse! Reverse psychology? At the villa as they continue to brainstorm, no good ideas still. Kazusa who hasn’t said anything, snaps and gives the wildest idea before calming herself down. The rest are worried over her. During bath, her inferior complex of Niina rises some more when she notices her beautiful body. And boobs. Too much for her to take that she passes out. I think it’s from the heat rather.

Episode 7
Hitoha once more approaches Yamagishi. Claiming she is wearing the thinnest sumo loincloth, she wants him to sumo toss her onto bed? Yamagishi trolls her by trying to give her a kiss but pulls back. If she is already this scared for a kiss, what more that sumo toss. Rika is probably enjoying the texts Amagi sent her but as soon as Momoko walks back in, she quickly pretends to get to work! Momoko weirdly talks about the different of simplicity between boys and girls so Rika hands her a lotion? After Niina pulled Kazusa out of the bath, Kazusa starts thinking about how pretty Kazusa’s boobs are and thinks her own boobs are stupid. WTF. She starts crying and got more than she bargained for because she asks Niina a hypothetical question what if she likes Izumi. She regrets asking that because Niina really wants her to answer. This is put a stop by Rika because as part of the literature club, words will hurt. Too bad, Niina. She really intended to start a fight with Kazusa! How to resolve this? Have a pillow fight! Don’t worry. They wrote a letter for permission and even compensate for any broken pillows. And this moment where you can’t unsee or unhear Kazusa’s words about 10 boobs jiggling during the pillow fight… Yeah… This blows away the blues. This inspires Rika to come up with the love legend. During the bonfire, stand in your crush’s shadow and whisper “I love you” and they’ll be yours. Izumi and Kazusa ponder their own feelings for each other. Kazusa manages to get back on normal talking terms with him so she realizes she wants to confess to him. Hence for this love legend, she volunteers to play out her part with Niina. While things are now going fine with Kazusa, it is Niina who has doubts now. Hence she seeks Saegusa for advice. As she doesn’t understand her own heart, she wants him to kiss her. Hmm… Felt nothing. She continues to elaborate about a potential love triangle and this gets Saegusa interested. He wants to see that romance of hers. He tries to convince her about free love and no one human should be bound to another. He wants her not to become a boring woman!

Episode 8
Kazusa wonders when Izumi will come for her recital since she needs time to prepare (her heart). Momoko has been avoiding Sugimoto and she’s surprised he turned up with his friends. She gives an excuse that she is busy so you boys go have fun yourself. Izumi talks to Niina when she doesn’t refute after a few girls badmouth about her. She doesn’t mind as long as she doesn’t make it hard for herself. Ironically she puts her hand on his face. Isn’t she making it hard for them? Rika gets depressed because she saw Amagi talk to another girl. Oddly, she seeks Sonoe’s advice since she does have a boyfriend although from a different school. So they’ve done it? Before the recital begins, Momoko is dismayed Sugimoto and his friends are here to watch. She starts pouting and Sugimoto seems to take the hint and leaves. Kazusa sees Izumi sitting in front. Calm your heart. Niina sees Saegusa sitting next to Izumi. Calm your heart. The play goes on smoothly until Niina goes off track. She then goes up to Saegusa but surprisingly puts her hand on Izumi’s chest. With everyone in shock, Izumi takes Niina out to talk. Everyone else thinks the legend is true. Izumi thinks Niina wanted to make Saegusa jealous. Even though he still thinks that guy is a pedo, if she likes him that much, he can help set them up together. This surprises Niina because she thought he would be mad at her. Momoko hears out Kazusa’s lament. She is mad at herself because after all the encouragement that Niina has done for her, she kept acting like this was some sort of tragedy of her own. Though she was shock Izumi took her hand, come to think of it, if Izumi had to go out with another girl, she would have preferred Niina. Even so, she still wants to take this chance to confess to Izumi. During the bonfire dance, surprisingly it is Rika who gets the ball rolling as she confronts Amagi. After apologizing for everything, she confesses she likes him. What this guy do? He hugs her! Now everyone thinks the legend is really true and tries it out. At the same time, Izumi confronts Kazusa. Childhood memories talk. Then came the confession. Oh yeah. Finally. Kazusa in tears of joy. Niina is seen talking to Saegusa that she now realizes the feelings she had for him isn’t love. She thought he never understood others but realized she is the same. She just had he first love and first heartbreak. That’s why she is going to have another first and hopes she can hold on to it.

Episode 9
When you’re in love, everything looks so lovely! Good for you, Kazusa. But now the other girls are calling Rika a ‘traitor’ since she now has a boyfriend. Wasn’t she the one who was being the feminist kind? Rika explains how boys are like them, humans. Now they must rethink of their perceptions on boys! It looks like only Kazusa is on her side. Hitoha talks to Yamagishi and knows he likes a fellow teacher, Emi Tomita. But he views himself out of her league. I’m wondering if this guy likes fat women since I’m starting to think he often complains about high school girls being skinny and all bones. The way Yamagishi blushes makes Hitoha think he looks like a high school boy after a confession. Momoko talks to Niina and it seems the latter is planning to steal Izumi from Kazusa. Momoko doesn’t like that idea and warns if she is willing to lose friends over a guy. She is trying to convince Niina to stay at friends but Niina replies, you can’t have sex with friends! I guess she’s not into yuri then. Izumi invites Kazusa over. Now that they are dating, sitting close together makes them really conscious. They try holding hands but their minds start overthinking about making the next move. Will this lead to sex? Thankfully (or not) Izumi’s mom returns. Nothing to see here. Hitoha schemes by cancelling club activities. This is so she can be alone with Yamagishi and has wrote a book of confession. Because she views he has not touched her as the problem, she wants him to sleep with her once and she’ll give him up forever. Yamagishi tells her to meet him after school. Niina and Izumi ride the train together. She talks about the book Saegusa recommended her. About some prince and his rose. A fox came along and helped patched their relationship up. Izumi thinks Niina is like the fox. This shocks her because that was what Saegusa also told her. The fox secretly wanted to be with the prince forever but its advice eventually made the prince realize he loves the rose more. What happens to the fox is anybody’s guess because nothing was written more on it after that. That is how the story goes for those who aren’t chosen. When the train suddenly gets crowded, Niina claims somebody is molesting her butt. But it could be a ploy as she forces Izumi’s hand to grope hers under the guise of protecting her.

Episode 10
Kazusa looking at sexy underwear to buy… Hmm… Rika and Amagi spot Hitoha getting into Yamagishi’s car. Rika gets shocked seeing what Hitoha dumped in the garbage: Her panties. Izumi rejects Niina. This devastates her. Is she not attractive enough for him? It’s like she sounds desperate because she thinks he and Kazusa are inexperienced so she offers to practice with him. The resistance is strong so he rejects her again. Poor Niina leaves dejected. Hitoha can see what is going to happen. Yamagishi will not fall in love anyhow. So when he stops at the next traffic light, she will force his hand on her pussy and end it there. At least she will leave something unforgettable for him. However there are no traffic lights to stop! Straight into the love hotel! The cheapest one! Desperate situation calls for desperate measures. I don’t think the internet can tell what to do in this situation. Going all for broke now. She pushes him down and starts to unzip his pants. Then she gets disappointed? Because he didn’t get hard on her? This signals to Hitoha that he was never ever interested in her in the first place and starts comparing herself to Emi. I know they’re both women but there’s a whole lot of difference, right? Yamagishi reasons he is a coward, ending Hitoha bawling like a baby. Momoko is texted by Sugimoto to meet. He wants to talk about her strange attitude during the cultural festival. He somewhat threatens this act embarrassed him in front of his friends but if she apologizes now, he can pacify those angry friends of his. Momoko screws all this and doesn’t even want to see him again. When he grabs her hand, she screams. With everyone’s attention, Sugimoto backs off but calls her weird. Depressed Niina then gets a call by Momoko to meet. She claims the person she hates has touched a part of hers and needs her to cleanse it. In short, Momoko confesses she loves Niina. From depression to shock, Niina doesn’t know what to say. In lieu of that, Momoko now feels guilty she has ruined their friendship. Kazusa might be inclined to buy that sexy panties when suddenly Izumi calls! I just called to say I love you… Whatever. It makes Kazusa the happiest woman on the planet. Only, she can’t undo the online purchase she just made! Next day when they go to school together, Izumi doesn’t want to be too close to her in fear others might think badly of them. Uhm, okay? This only confuses Kazusa. Why the sudden change? Rika is puzzled to get a present from Sonoe. Then the teacher comes in with a serious announcement. Sonoe will be dropping out of school because she is pregnant!

Episode 11
With the entire school knowing about this, Rika seems to be very against people’s prejudice about Sonoe being knocked up because it was her choice. However this leads to a friction with Hitoha as she believes Sonoe was also a problematic child. Furthermore, Rika hints she saw Hitoha and Yamagishi entering a love hotel together. Momoko talks to Kazusa about that question, sex with who before the world ends. Because Kazusa says she’d rather do it with a man than a female, this disappoints Momoko. Then she warns her about Niina. Hitoha reflects on everything so far. She concludes she doesn’t want to give up yet because despite how pathetic she felt, she also felt good. Niina sees Saegusa and wants him to end her girlhood. He starts feeling her up and probably his ugly scary face freaked her out. Yeah, she slaps him and runs away. No you understand why girls close their eyes in porn?! Then Niina talks to Kazusa and confesses she likes Izumi. Kazusa’s worst fears come true but after a few deep breaths, she thanks Niina because without her, she wouldn’t have confessed to Izumi. In turn, Niina realizes her own immaturity and both girls give each other a big hug. Best friends forever! But ultimately Kazusa rues this because this wasn’t what she wanted to do. So she runs all the way to Izumi’s place just to ask for sex? Can’t let Niina beat her to it? He won’t and she suspects something happened with him and Niina. Though he reasons he treasures her and wants to take things slowly, I guess that isn’t the answer she is looking for. Sad girl leaves still a virgin. While Rika is talking to Amagi on the phone, suddenly her mom barges in very angry. In school, an emergency assembly is called. Everyone is shocked when it is now forbidden for both sexes to interact with each other. Worse, rumours of Rika and Amagi were seen outside the love hotel so they might be expelled. Hitoha realizes this is her fault and when she is going to confront the principal to tell the truth, Yamagishi is already there. He explains what happened but didn’t reveal Hitoha’s identity but as some woman whom he sees a potential to share a future. Even so, they aren’t going to rescind this and use this as an example. Drastic situations need drastic measures so Hitoha and the other literature girls hatch a plan… First, they kidnap Yamagishi!!! Holy cow! This guy must be really a wuss to get tackled by 4 girls. Izumi gets a call from Kazusa. Something feels wrong when he hears her talking about crossing to the other side. Late that night, the school staffs rush to school. Hitoha leads the other literature girls to demand 1) Overturn the interaction ban; 2) Rescind Rika’s expulsion; 3) Apologize to them. They’ll not leave till their demands are met because they have Yamagishi as hostage!

Episode 12
The girls threaten to drop him! But guess what? The staffs think that since tomorrow is Saturday and have no classes, yeah they’ll come back tomorrow and discuss this! WTF?! And with that, they leave. WTF?! Rika wants to talk to the girls but they refuse to let her in. As Izumi is heard coming over, this causes friction between Momoko and Niina since the latter wants to confess to him. After all, she got Kazusa’s ‘permission’. Ultimately their argument is overheard by Izumi. Momoko forces him to make his feelings clear. He admits he is in love with Kazusa but is sexually attracted to Niina. Ouch. Truth hurts. And now that everyone else has heard this, Izumi is chastised. Even more so Amagi since he has ‘experience’ with girls. Things are heating up on how to solve this. Are they going to (pillow) fight or talk things out. This is when Yamagishi suggests playing a colour tag game. The person who is it will mention a colour and the rest have to find that colour. For example, red and crimson are the same but not. The logic behind this is that they are trying to find new words for new feelings. So by adding descriptive modifiers to the colours, this will also reveal the colours of their heart. The game begins and it seems like everybody is just target a specific person. During the game, Izumi confronts Kazusa and explains what he meant. He might be sexually attractive to Niina but it’s not like he wants to have sex with her. Izumi really loves Kazusa and wants to be her but because he fears of the sudden changes, he wants to take things slowly. Kazusa also understands this feeling. They’re both so happy that they forgot they got too close to each other. And with Niina overhearing this, I guess she knows the answer… Rika still can’t believe about Amagi’s ‘experience’ so he shuts her up by kissing on her forehead. This already makes him excited so imagine one on the lips. Oh, one is coming up until the other girls smoke them out. Since boys aren’t helping, they kick them out. The girls then sit down, reconcile and think on their next action. Come morning, the staffs arrive. Yamagishi is released but to their surprise, the entire school is covered with huge canvases written in various colours on Rika’s innocence. Savage. In the aftermath, we see Rika going to college with Amagi. She receives a picture of Sonoe doing well with her baby. Hitoha is holding a secret folder of a secret performance for her wedding with Yamagishi?! Momoko and Niina together. And of course, Izumi and Kazusa a couple.

Sex And The High School Girls
Even if it looked like the girls have pretty much found the colour that they are looking for, well, don’t stop looking as there will be other colours they will come into as they go on in life. Imagine, the curiosity on the topic of sex had them go through all this. And it was a good experience for them. They are a bit wiser now in this department, having sorted out their love and friendship. And the best part is how they didn’t have to lose their virginity to learn it. But wait! Final episode scene, Kazusa mentioning an obscure metaphor of a train entering the tunnel… It fits! So they’ve done it?!

If you look at the overall story, it isn’t anything much and might even be considered as cliché and typical. Therefore what makes it interesting is how they execute the pacing and tell the stories of each of the girls. Although at first they might seem separate by they are all intertwined in the bigger picture. So unlike in some animes whereby they give an episode to focus on a particular character before moving on to the next, this one shows the progress and development of all the girls at one go and simultaneously. Those not used to this format might get a bit distracted and confused as the scene shifts to one literature girl to another and with all their stories happening at the same time, it might get a little confusing and some getting used to.

Because sex sells, I guess personally the story plays out interestingly as we see the girls trying to experience whatever love and sex are. The different approaches and types of love all at the same time seem to bond the girls but at the same time threaten their very friendship. Is this kind of love worth it? Only the girls can answer that. Hence we see Kazusa x Izumi as the typical childhood friend turned lovers kind of trope. Rika changing the most due to the effects of being in love as we see her from some strict plain b*tch to a smoking hot troubled girl in love. Unfortunately it isn’t going too well for the rest because Niina looks like she is into netorare and this gives the series the much needed love triangle and drama. The girl who is so hard to get for other guys now ironically finds herself hard to get the heart of the one boy she likes. Hitoha initially wanted to write a good erotic story finds herself attracted to an older man, especially one who is her teacher. And poor Momoko looks like she didn’t get off the ground. The guy whom she thinks had potential turned to be a control freak and with that romance quickly turning sour, she started resorting to lesbianism. Too bad for her, the rest of her friends are all straight. Sorry yuri fans. No yuri romance here. But that last scene makes me wonder if Momoko and Niina are now one because it looks like the losers in love without the guys only get each other. Damn. I hope this doesn’t send the wrong message.

Of all the guy characters, Amagi looks like he is the coolest. Not to say he is perfect as he too has his imperfections but compared to the rest, he doesn’t look like he is trouble. What I mean is that, as seen in Sugimoto’s case, he sounds like he wants to dominate over Momoko. Izumi is a typical guy and probably confused about his feelings because it is also hinted that he likes Niina for she scores a lot better in almost every department compared to Kazusa. Probably the childhood friend relationship is the only thing that is holding him back from jumping ship to Niina. Saegusa looks like a pedo but only because from the way we are shown his character. He looks like some avant-garde screenwriter and we let it pass because it’s all in the name of arts? He sounds like he is giving Niina a choice but what if he is seemingly doing so just to confuse her? During Niina’s time of need and confusion, it seemed like it is the moment he has been waiting for to finally take her virginity. Good thing that didn’t happen. And lastly, Yamagishi. Looks like one who can be pushed around and doing things just to accommodate Hitoha. Then again, he might be the coolest because he is willing to take responsibility for everything and protect the literature club girls. But then he became their hostage and his cool factor just like drastically drop to zero! Instantly! But that colour tag game helped redeemed some of his pride.

Japan still being a largely conservative country, sex isn’t really openly discussed (though ironically they have one the most creative porn out there!). Hence when the school banned interactions between the sexes, it doesn’t even feel like a short term solution. It is just one or two steps backwards. Might as well turn the school into single gender if they’re so concerned about the immorality. Therefore the literature girls going against this ban isn’t because they are horny or hard up in seeking romance. After all, they started that weird bonfire legend so I guess this is their way of taking responsibility and seeing this till the end. Just because one girl got pregnant and one girl was spotted outside a love hotel doesn’t mean a blanket ban is justified on everyone. The intentions of the ban might be good but it’s not practical. You’re not going to live the rest of your life just interacting with one gender only, right? Society doesn’t work like that. At least not in Japan. What the literature girls did by taking their teacher hostage isn’t particularly right either but how else do you get stubborn old authoritative men to listen to you? Hey, at least no lives and virginities were lost during this tense hostage situation!!!

At and animation feel pretty bland and light. In the sense somehow it reminds me of Asobi Asobase. I thought their school uniforms were similar but double checking it, I guess I’m having a case of Mandela effect on myself. Close and almost similar but not exactly the same. Despite the character designs look simple, some of them look weird especially Hitoha who looks like as though she is some alien bug race disguised as a human. Seriously. That’s the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw her character. Must be those very weird eyes… Same case for Niina. I thought she was some snow woman tribe disguised as a human being. Must be those very fair complexion and those mysterious eyes… Kazusa is supposed to be a plain girl but I can’t help stare at those thick eyebrows. Not many female anime characters have such thick eyebrows, you know. Oh, doesn’t Kazusa has this striking resemblance to Kimari of Sora Yori Mo Tooi Basho? This anime is produced by Lay-duce who animated Magi: Sinbad No Bouken, Release The Spyce and Classroom Crisis.

In the voice acting department, I only recognized Jun Fukuyama as Yamagishi, Haruka Tomatsu as Sonoe and Natsuki Hanae as Sugimoto. The rest feel pretty okay, sometimes trying to flex their voice acting talents with certain conversations that has them talk in dramatic and loud fashion. Sometimes it’s funny to hear them in a loud voice when they usually aren’t. They are after all in the literature club and reading in the boring monotonous voice all the time could be, well, boring. The other casts are Hiyori Kono as Kazusa (Asuka in Sounan Desu Ka), Chika Anzai as Niina (Reina in Hibike! Euphonium), Sumire Uesaka as Rika (Sanae in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai), Tomoyo Kurosawa as Hitoha (Kumiko in Hibike! Euphonium), Momo Asakura as Momoko (Rona in Endro), Shinba Tsuchiya as Izumi (Tatara Fujita in Ballroom E Youkoso), Yuuya Hirose as Amagi (Yuuta in SSSS.Gridman) and Shunsuke Sakuya as Saegusa (Nambuuko in Seisen Cerberus – Initially I thought Saegusa was voiced by Miki Shinichiro but I guess I was wrong). Something about the opening theme, Otome Domo Yo by Chico with Honeyworks invoking some sort of nostalgia in me. Not really sure if I heard the some somewhere but I guess it’s not bad. Yume Cinderella by Momo Asakura as the ending theme sounds okay as a generic anime pop.

Overall, this is quite an interesting series largely because the taboo topic of sex is shown in the way on the characters’ psychology rather than resorting to cheap sleazy visual ecchi fanservice. Surprise but not surprise, no sexualisation of the young girls here. The characters especially the literature girls have some emotional depth whom you would like to put your support behind with instead of writing them off as horny teens trying to lose their virginity. But don’t worry if you get screwed early or later on in life, because from the moment you were born, life has got us all f*cked up!!! Haha… Uhm… Oh… I mean, as Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. I don’t think applies well to virginity but whatever. It’s the savage season for yo’ maidens!

Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru

October 26, 2019

I guess Hinako and the girls of Anitore didn’t quite manage to do the job. It has been many years since and we otakus and weeabos are still as fat as f*ck. Lazy and a big slob. Nothing has changed to get us to change. Hence it is back to the drawing board and maybe instead of providing some obvious fanservice just to get us motivated to workout, maybe provide us with something more meaningful. Something that would really make us feel the need to do exercise no matter how simple it is. So we hope that all you fat dweebs out there, Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru might be that answer that would finally make us all get off our lazy chairs and start moving about. Well, are you starting to get worried about that expanding waistline of yours? Don’t worry. Don’t even be sad. Just do it! Because this series gives you the chance to shape up for a great body. All you need to do is put in the effort because effort in the end never betrays. So what are you waiting for? Get up and start moving! Oh my macho…

Episode 1
Hibiki Sakura loves her food. Until her friend, Ayaka Uehara points out she is getting fat! Every girl’s nightmare. Hence Hibiki promises to work out and get slim. Starting tomorrow. Self-training failed so she has a try-out at a nearby gym, Silverman Gym. She sees Akemi Souryuuin who is from the same school also there to check things out. But this gym isn’t what Hibiki expects. It’s filled with muscle monsters! Akemi has muscle fetish so she’s already orgasmic at the sight of those bulky bulges. She’s definitely in. Hibiki opts out until she sees Naruzou Machio. Damn, this hot prince is her type of guy. Sign me up! So with Machio as their trainer, we get a glimpse on how to do basic bench presses. We can see how unfit Hibiki is despite trying out the first time with no weights and she is already breathless. Akemi is steady, doing twice her weight. Hibiki is depressed but with Machio encouraging her, you bet she is going to come back for more. And then the ‘truth’… Because Machio takes off his jersey and we see him as a muscle monster under that pretty face! Flex those biceps, baby! Akemi is so in love. With your muscles! Next day in school, Hibiki’s body is aching all over. Don’t go overboard, newbies. With Hibiki continuing to eat, this means she continues to put on weight. This means Ayaka points it out to her again. You’ll be fat by the time summer rolls in! Yeah, gotta go shape up again. Now we’re doing squats. As usual, Hibiki is unfit but manages to finish her sets. But with the thought of getting a killer body, you bet that’s the motivation she needs to keep on going. Later, Akemi finds out that Hibiki eats 6 meals a day! Hey, that doesn’t mean she’s a glutton, okay? Or is she? However she is amazed because of this blessed appetite, it means she can eat and build muscle mass! Akemi insists she be her training partner and one day they’ll be the most macho of the macho-est! Hibiki in despair. She joined the wrong gym…

Episode 2
Wow. Hibiki must think she has lost some weight after all that training. Guess what? Her weight increases! Time to press the panic button. Don’t worry. As Machio explains, because of her muscle growth that is denser than fats, it is only logical that her weight increases. He adds about avoiding extreme dieting because the rebound would lead to lower metabolism if not properly maintained. So always exercise regularly! Today’s training has Hibiki trying out lat pulldowns for the back muscles. After that, they head to the gym’s bar where Machio serves them some protein drink. Also explained about the golden time effect whereby if you consume protein within 30 minutes, it will have dramatic effect on your muscle growth. I think Hibiki didn’t understand that concept so she went to eat plates after plates of sirloin steak. Maybe that’s the real reason her weight increased… Because Hibiki’s muscles are still sore, Akemi takes her swimming. It’s a great way to train muscles in every part of your body too. Akemi makes intelligent guesses the kind of sports others do based on the muscles she observes of other people. Like cyclists they have stronger and bigger calf muscles. When Hibiki wants to do stretching as warm up, Akemi prohibits her. She explains about the myth about warm ups and studies shown it decreases effectiveness and might lead to injury. Hence a better way is to do light dynamic stretching. And then they hear a rip. Good news it isn’t Hibiki pulling a muscle. She ripped her swimsuit… Hibiki is at Ayaka’s place and she knows her friend as a movie buff. Arnold action movie spoof? Unfortunately, Ayaka’s sister, Nana needs her to help out with the family business for now. What do they do? Not your typical eatery. Why, father is a retired pro boxer and now runs a boxing gym! Oh Hibiki, Ayaka is your best friend and you didn’t know about this? So we see some hardcore and Spartan training. Damn, Ayaka, those abs! If dragon flags are too hard for normal people like Hibiki, then planking should be a good start. Then they let her try the punching bag. OMG she punches it off in one blow! A new world champion? Hope she didn’t break it…

Episode 3
Teacher Satomi Tachibana thinks she has put on weight so her colleague recommends Silverman Gym that just opened nearby. She is sceptical for fear of running into her students but is told young girls won’t even go there. Yeah… Imagine her surprise when she sees Hibiki and Akemi there. Satomi thinks she’ll quit after her free trial but the moment she sees Machio, she signs up! Another victim, oops, I mean member for life. Due to some mini exercises she does at home that made her muscle sore, Machio explains about the proper way of light training using your biceps and triceps. As Satomi gets into the groove, the students wonder a strange tan on her belly. They think she is wearing some sort of kinky swimsuit to attract her boyfriend. Despite this is not the case, she agrees to keep her secret safe. It is revealed her true secret is her love for cosplaying. She intends to slim down before Summer Comiket. Hibiki stops for lunch. Uhm, isn’t that a huge serving of bento she’s got? This has Akemi point out this method of skipping breakfast and then suddenly eating a lot is a diet programme for sumo wrestlers due to the slowing down of metabolism. She suggests a more balanced diet via bodybuilding diet. While Hibiki’s food is all fried, Akemi is mostly steamed and grilled. But don’t despair if it sounds too hard. Because there is a day where you can ‘cheat’ and eat all you want to trick your body into thinking it has enough calories. And so Hibiki starts off with this. It’s not even cheating day and she’s already chowing it all down… Yeah, she’s missing the point… Satomi manages to slim down for Summer Comiket. Her worst fear comes true when Hibiki and Akemi are here. Is she busted? Oh wait. It’s Machio cosplaying here too. Damn, is this Kenshi-Machio? Really, “Omae… Mou shinde iru!”. WTF?! What do you mean this character is from some muscle manga, Lifts With The Straight Bar?! Muscle King?! Who the f*ck?! Anyway, the crowd loves him and starts taking pics and Machio even doing brutal poses from the manga. Flex those biceps away! Yeah, all the men are so macho gay here… And somehow we get some basic front press posture lesson from Machio. At the end of the day, Satomi must be tired from all the tsukkomi moments. Just when she thought her students spot her and her secret is out, they think she is here to buy doujin and a BL fan. Well, the price to pay to keep her secret a secret.

Episode 4
With summer here, Silverman Gym is packed with people. People with different motivations and never really got the time to go to gyms are now gathering to do so. Such peak periods are called prime times. But with the bench presses crowded and a queue forming, Machio suggests the girls to use the chest press machine. This is unpopular with many as they have this opinion it is not as dignified as free weights. Of course the machines do act as support if you are seeking to build those chest muscles. Ayaka is also here since her boxing gym has increased enrolment so she will be using Silverman Gym to offer additional boxing classes. Hence she will be joining Hibiki and Akemi too. One day, coincidentally all the gyms and pools are closed. Akemi invites the duo back to her place. You mean this huge mansion is where she freaking lives?! She shows them a video by Toshio Ozu. An exercise video that tells you how to do exercises in your home. There are the basic push ups and sit ups. But the highlights are the dip (suspend yourself in air by using 2 chairs as support for your arms) and reverse push up. Once the video is over, they try it out. When Hibiki tries the dip, the chair breaks! Holy sh*t! Make sure the chair is strong enough. Although Akemi won’t make her pay for it, later Hibiki sees an ad on TV that a similar antique chair costs millions… Oh sh*t… Our girls head over to the next prefecture for the beach. Coincidentally Satomi too. Yeah, she keeps running into them, huh? If you’re wondering there is nobody else on the bus or beach, they find out too late that the beach is closed thanks to sharks. There goes their plan to snag a man. Except for Akemi. She’s only here for the training. This has her come up with an idea so as not to waste their beach trip with an explanation on how to do a burpee. Once summer is over and the next term begins, Satomi is tanned and feeling tired. She hopes the girls are alright. Yup, the power of youth has them bursting with life more than ever.

Episode 5
Hibiki dreads the sports day. Even more so when this year’s events, the participants are chosen via lottery. It’s just not her day as she is now in the 400m relay race. Hence going to Machio for advice, he explains about hamstring muscles before introducing us to the leg curl exercise that should help build those muscles. Hibiki is pumped up to do so because it is going to give her a firm butt. But then she rips her shorts. At the end of the day, her hamstring muscles are aching so much that she could barely walk. During sports day, Hibiki’s class is dead last. The final 400m relay event has Hibiki as her class’ anchor. Her main rival is Akemi who was last year’s champion of this same event and she too will be the anchor of her class. Hibiki won’t lose as she has trained for this day. Flashback shows that Machio also taught her to do bicycle crunch exercises to develop her iliopsoas muscles. The race gets underway but Hibiki falters and misses in retrieving the baton although she manages to pick it up and continue running. Akemi wins and amazingly Hibiki gets second place. However the judges disqualify her because it is against the rules to pick up a dropped baton. All for nothing… Machio gives his regulars raffle tickets to celebrate their first year anniversary. Hence the girls decide to enter a sauna competition and the winner gets all their raffle tickets. Yeah, first place could be a trip to USA! And they remind us not to do this dangerous challenge alone and bust the myth of sauna helps reduce fats but only helps in blood circulation. The challenge goes on until Hibiki and Satomi are left. Hibiki is literally really starting to feel the heat. How can Satomi still be so cool? Actually she already passed out! With Hibiki as the winner, unfortunately with all the raffle tickets, she won only the Silverman t-shirt. All. Of. Them. Yeah, might as well give it all to Akemi who seems really fanatic about it.

Episode 6
Hibiki dreams to have a home theatre. But she can’t afford it thanks to her money always going to food or the gym. That wish might come true since Silverman Gym will be holding an arm wrestling competition. 100,000 yen prize! Sign me up! Don’t know the rules? Don’t worry. Machio will explain it all. Even explaining the various muscles if not, the muscles of your entire body being used. As practice, Hibiki faces off with Ayaka. Instantly Ayaka lost! Woah! Is she some She-Hulk?! Next is Machio and of course Hibiki losses but she saw this dramatic vision that she was arm wrestling with a rock! Come competition day, unfortunately Ayaka and Satomi chicken out while Akemi is sick. Because the female’s competition has already so few people, guess what? Total participants are only 2!!! Including Hibiki! So the first round is already the finals!!! Her opponent comes all the way from Russia and Silverman Gym’s Moscow branch, Gina Void. She is eager to win this badly because she needs to cover her air ticket home! We see an interview of Gina telling us the different methods to use in arm wrestling combat. Then the finals begin. Instantly Hibiki owns her!!!! OMFG!!! She might be on her way to become like Machio since she also rips part of her clothes dramatically on her way to winning. But the ‘nightmare’ isn’t over because Gina is now interested in Hibiki and becomes an exchange student in her school! Is she going to become her stalker and gunning for revenge? Luckily she is in a different class. But Gina blames Hibiki for this conspiracy?! We further learn that she doesn’t do strength training back in Moscow. She trains more on sambo and such strength training is only used using equipment as an auxiliary. Because her training focuses on utilizing the muscles in an efficient way and to master the goal kipping. Eventually this develops your nerves more than you muscles. Gina wants Hibiki to use the horizontal bars to try kipping. Her ulterior motive is to pinpoint the strength that she defeated her with. Hibiki fails spectacularly and Gina thinks she won’t show her strength easily. Way off mark… After school, Gina can’t go with them to the gym because she has to say hello to her host family. When Hibiki returns home, she has this sinking feeling. Her worst fear comes true because Gina is having her homestay at her place. The ‘nightmare’ continues…

Episode 7
Today is the gym’s off day so too bad Gina can’t have her revenge on Hibiki. Thus Hibiki takes them to enjoy some grilled meat at a yakiniku restaurant run by her brother. So while we feast on the delicious beef, hear some explanations on the benefits of meat. Vegans may not like it, though… Gina thinks this source of protein is Hibiki’s secret. Then she watches her eat. Isn’t her servings double? She thinks she is following the diet of some famous pro wrestler when in reality Hibiki is just a glutton. But Hibiki complains about her money woes so Akemi says outside gym memberships are covered by the school since her mom is the chairman and she is so rich she can help others fund her hobby! Is this power and money abuse? But whatever since this helps solves Hibiki’s financial problems. Gina realizes Satomi looks familiar. Because of that mole underneath her left eye, she realizes she is that famous cosplayer. Damn, Satomi must be the only person she know who has that very specific mole. Hence the duo skip training as we see Satomi accompanying Gina on a day out. When Gina confronted her over her identity, Satomi was devastated. In fear that she will lose her job as some of her cosplay outfits borderlines porn, she is willing to do anything to keep it a secret. Gina didn’t intend to rat on her but since Satomi went as far as becoming her life slave, oh well… Gina learns of Satomi’s exhaustion and rest periods in between exercises. Hence the explanation of blood circulation as well as active and passive resting. As we know Gina is one of those foreigners who come to Japan for the otaku culture, currently her obsession is idols. Hence she wants Satomi to help he achieve that dream! Oh dear. Kutarou Deire is one of those judges at a public audition. He is bored at how normal all the idol wannabes are. Idols must be more than normal! He might get what he wished for because our muscle girls come riding in on macho guys! WTF?! Could this be the talent he is looking for? So our girls do sparring and weight lifting as part of their talent. Satomi keeps her identity hidden by wearing a kendo mask and under the alias F*ck The Budo! Really! She then demonstrates deadlift as our semi-naked Machio explains to the audience this dangerous weightlifting. The crowd applauses to this spectacle and at the end, Deire now believes idols should be normal… Yeah, please be normal. Also, our muscle girls didn’t quite make the cut… Obviously…

Episode 8
Satomi declines invitation from fellow teachers, Rumika Aina and Yakusha Kure to hang out. Then they discover that she has been hitting the gym so the duo too decide to try out. As beginners, Aina is worried about her sides so Machio tells us about abs muscles and the training to strengthen those regions. Everyone is in shock when Kure is able to easily lift heavy weights. She didn’t say but an intelligence guess would tell us that her ‘sport’ is taking care of her family as she is the only one among the ladies who is married. In the end the duo did sign up for Silverman Gym but a branch closer to their homes. The school has a hiking trip up the mountains. Hibiki, Satomi and Aina are in shock. They didn’t know they are this unfit and are already out of breath climbing up! Hibiki trying to keep her sanity by eating? Anyway, we have some walking lessons by Kure as she tells us the right walking method so you won’t tire easily. The weak trio decide to employ this method. So excited that they missed the correct path and went an opposite route. Safe to say they realize they are lost while the others have already reached the top. They are worried when the trio have not arrived and it’s almost lunch time… You think Satomi is bad as she panics? Aina and Hibiki are worse! Writing their death poems and leaving some ID for their bodies!!! Satomi stays sane as she realizes she can get help by climbing this tallest tree. Hence some rope climbing lessons to train some muscle parts. The trio start climbing but realize they keep slipping down. Thinking their clothes are the culprit, they strip down to climb better. After all, nobody is watching, right? Unknown to them. Our climbers at the top are having lunch while peeking at the lost trio via binoculars. Looks like they’re having much fun climbing a tree naked. It is revealed that the part they are lost at is just the athletic corner of the mountain. Worse still, the moment they realize what happened, lunch’s over… Sad ending…

Episode 9
Holy sh*t! Is that Arnold arriving in Japan?! After Machio explains to us the workouts for back muscles, suddenly his pecs start trembling. OMG! Arnold is here! Oh, sorry. Barnold Shortsinator!!! You know, that American action movie star who stared in Seven Commandos, Last Action Predator, Conan The Red Bull and Twin Cops?! But not the one whereby he is a robot from the future sent back to present day to kill a future resistance leader. Yup, that’s another actor! So no “I’ll be back” catchphrase for this guy!!! This guy is so buffed that he makes all the other macho men trembling in muscle fear! Barnold is here to see Machio. They both have a history. After Machio finished his sports studies in America, he took up bodybuilding in which Barnold was his master. But after Machio graduated, Barnold never contacted him once. Why? Barnold dropped his phone in the water! Why Machio hadn’t do the same? He accidentally crushed his phone while flexing! Oh course Barnold being here means he is going to challenge him. This world’s toughest handgrip only 100 people in the world can close it with 1 hand. Is Machio up to the task? Why, in fact he crushes it with no sweat!!! With Machio passing this test, Barnold announces he will be holding a bodybuilding competition right here where all the international body builders will be attending and he wants him to compete. The girls are invited as Barnold explains to them the competition categories that include physique and bodybuilding as well as the criteria that the participants are being judged on. When it is Machio’s turn to go on stage, his muscles are so godly that it blows everyone’s clothes away!!! OMG WTF???!!! So godly his muscle light that all the competitors kneels before him!!! OMF WTF?! Too much godly macho???!!! Safe to say he won the competition with ease. As Barnold praises his victory, Machio knows this is only another test because the world’s best body builders aren’t here. True enough, Machio has yet again meet Barnold’s standards. As he views him now on equal footing to compete with him, the final showdown will be in Las Vegas. Be there or be square. Unfortunately Machio’s job takes priority so he can’t come. The end. What an anti-climactic ending. Hasta la vista, baby? Although Barnold returns to America, he leaves his private secretary, Jason Sgatham to support Machio’s training. No wonder this guy looks f*cking familiar… And so Silverman Gym gains another macho weirdo…

Episode 10
What’s the use of having a hot body and slim figure when you have no one to date with for Christmas! Holy sh*t! Sounds like the girls have wasted their time?! Yeah, they look so down. But don’t worry. Machio announces a gym party whereby they can mingle with other guys. Game on! All is not lost! However, with Ayaka pointing out that Hibiki has rebounded due to her excessive eating habits, Hibiki wishes to trim some of her arm’s flabs. Hence Machio explains about triceps as well as the lying triceps extension AKA skull crusher exercise for the occasion. Hibiki underestimated the EZ bar she is about to use and knocks her own head. Ouch! Wow. This move does live up to its terror name. The party is here and WTF Satomi dresses up as some S&M queen to snag hotties? Let’s hope her mask and wig can hide her identity. As the girls mingle, in the end they’re too shy to even ask anything so I guess there’s no progress. But there is still hope when Machio announces the raffles and the grand prize is tickets to Tochigi Disney Land (TDL). The girls think of using this as an excuse to ask the guy out. The raffles is conducted with Machio flexing his muscles and the numbers printed on them. This might look like he is showing off his usual but as explained, doing posing can also help build muscles because of the resistance via flexing. In the end, Satomi wins the grand prize. She’s the only winner among all the macho men! I guess all the girls lose hope in choosing a decent pretty guy. As the tickets expire by the year end, Satomi can’t use them and gives it to the rest. Surprisingly Akemi wants it. She can use it as a chance to go out with Machio. SAY WHAT?! And so Hibiki, Gina and surprisingly Satomi go to spy on Akemi’s date with Machio at TDL. Don’t mind the horror-looking spoof mascot, Mockey! What a mockery… It is soon discovered there is a cosplay event here and the duo are participating. Because Machio is dressed up like a shirtless Hercules, hence Akemi’s true goal revealed: To glare at his muscles. But we’ve all seen this coming, right? And Machio is more buffed than ever especially in his pecs as he explains his usage of the incline bench press. Meanwhile Satomi got separated from the pack and decides to go have fun. Suddenly it all comes crashing down when she sees Aina who is also here for the same reason. Dead awkward… Let’s pretend this never happened…

Episode 11
It is New Year’s Eve and the girls pay a visit to the shrine. Wow. This shrine has hundreds and possibly thousands of steps! So is this where their training comes in? Apparently they’re going to try climbing it because legend says the deity at the top can grant your wish in romance. Oh yeah. And of course, some lessons on stairs exercise to help those burn some calories for those who aren’t into jogging. You know you’re in trouble when Gina and even Akemi is having trouble catching their breath! Only Ayaka seems to breeze through. Luckily they manage to reach the top but what awaits them is a long line of macho men! Oh my macho!!! And who is the head priest of this shrine? Machio!!! He claims this shrine belongs to his family and his helping out. But I think he was just recently promoted to godly status after that bodybuilding win so this is somewhat fitting… So let’s hope God would grant their kind of guys instead of macho men… With the New Year holidays, the gyms are closed so Gina suggests doing street workout that is all the rage in the western side. Too her dismay, Japanese parks are paltry! But don’t worry, Akemi brought some guidebook from Toshio that teaches us simple exercises that can be done without the use of any equipment. Although the girls try it out, they have to quickly abandon it because housewives from the area are giving them strange stares… Remember Gina’s dream to form an idol group with them? Yeah, she hasn’t given up on them and has registered them to enter an amateur talent show for New Year. And Deire is the producer! Oh damn. He thinks his show is going to tank in ratings when he sees those girls. His career is over! Although he manages to put a stop to their intention to do some air chair (Gina is planning to break the 11 hours record live on TV?!), they improvise and let Satomi do wrestler’s bridge instead. Everyone is impressed and even more so when Ayaka sits on her while she is at it. In the end, Deire thought he is a goner but his manager is pleased the programme got the second highest rating! WTF?! And the demographics who watch them are 20-34 year old women?! Mind boggling! He wants Deire to grab them and make it big. Can he do it? Not if Jason can help! He shows Deire a poster of the Nikunoshima Tour. Care to collaborate, sir?

Episode 12
Wherever this fictional tropical island is, our usual suspects will be joining on this tour. Except for Akemi and Hibiki. They cite being busy with stuffs. But when they hear a Mr Nikunoshima contest, that means muscle men and hot guys, they immediately sign up. Not so busy now, eh? While the older ladies drink, the younger ones take to the beach. The watermelon smashing game feels like it is so that Machio can teach us the importance of shoulder trap muscles… On to the contest, because there are no contestants, another contest will be held in its place, Ms Nikunoshima! So disappointed? The winner gets some protein set and some DVD collection of the past contests that totals in about 40 hours! You bet Akemi wants it! We see the girls strut their stuffs. The highlight is Akemi doing a perfect push up while doing a handstand! Hence a lesson on how to do proper push ups. Damn, I’ve been doing it wrong all the while?! The final contestant is Hibiki and she literally blows the crowd away because her single punch destroys the punching bag!!! Oh my macho!!! Beat that, Falcon Punch! Because Akemi and Hibiki’s results are draw, a final showdown is set between them. They will have to do bench presses and after each set, additional weights will be added. The one who can’t continue loses. The moment they start, WTF this Super Saiyan dragon aura???!!! We hear Akemi narrate how this challenge will settle it all since the start. Once she finishes the first set, to everyone’s shock, Hibiki didn’t start at all because she is too hungry to move!!! Therefore Akemi wins it. Meanwhile Jason and Deire are drifted at sea. Dying?! Their aim was to make the tour a candid camera show but it was ruined when their boat went adrift. WTF this gay moment of them hugging each other?! Hibiki talks to Akemi and feels how her life has changed ever since she enrolled in this gym. Then they spot something coming from the ocean fast. Barnold! So he is back! He is pulling the drifted boat! Yeah, he received an SOS from Jason a week ago and came to rescue. Don’t ask about the gay hugging… And definitely this is BS because there is no constellation that looks like those pecs!!!

Got, Macho?!
Oh my macho… Have you developed a fear of muscles and macho men?! Heh. Thankfully I didn’t. Not that I want to become so overly buffed like them either. And with the end of the series, hopefully that doesn’t mean the end of your healthy and active lifestyle because it goes without saying that to remain in shape, persistence is key. I know lazy ones will argue that round is a shape but don’t start complaining or point the finger when hot guys or girls give you the pass. So I guess that is it for this series and that it is not going to be, “I’ll be back… For another season”!

One can say that half of this series looks more like a workout video. While I am not an exercise buff, I believe that in every episode, the featured exercise is explained comprehensively. You get to learn what kind of muscles you are building up from the exercises that you do and this is good if you want to work on certain muscles and body parts instead of going for the full course of buffing up every muscle in your body. It is quite entertaining and educational as you get to learn the names of those muscles affected while doing that training. Yup, muscle parts apart from biceps and triceps that I have never even heard of in my life and probably have forgotten right now as I type this sentence. Holy crap. And you thought every human bone each having their own specific name was bad enough, wait till you get to the muscle section.

And of course the ‘charm’ as well as I could go as far as to say as ‘motivation’ for us to watch this series and do get us to do those workouts is the so called ‘fanservice’. I guess we still can’t do away with that. Every time we see Machio or the girls in their special lesson segment, we see the girls demonstrating the workout. But they show it in ways and angles that make them look sexy and if you have a dirty mind, I’m sure you can go further than that and imagine the ambiguous. If you want to call this part sleazy and it’s just an excuse to get one to train, well then, it is not surprising because doesn’t all old workout videos feel pretty much the same thing? Isn’t that why you have a hot model as the face of the workout video? And of course it is a no brainer to want a workout video without any sort of workout demonstrations because a lot of people would do better watching others better than being told or given verbal instructions. You know, some people’s vocab might not be so good so even they can misinterpret or do not understand what to do. Hence the best is to demonstrate such workouts. And of course it’s going to look hot and sexy because you’re not going to do exercises in a casual suit, aren’t you?!

If all those workouts and exercises within the episodes aren’t enough for you, be glad to know that at the end of each episode, there will be a short segment where by Machio and the girls will once more have us viewers do a short exercise that was featured in the episode (sometimes amidst the picturesque background like the airport runway or Grand Canyon). This time without the distracting of whatever plot (is there?!), we can now solely focus on doing the workout that now truly resembles a workout video. Alright people, don’t give up until the countdown is finished! There you go. Nice bulk, everybody! Unless you’re trying for competitive sports, it goes to show that simple workouts are sufficient so long you put in the effort. Don’t need elaborate equipment or exclusive gym memberships. The simplest thing can also be your workout routine. So are you ever so ready to cancel that gym subscription?

And oh, before I forget, even if you do some decent workouts, please also eat well. I’m sure it is not this series’ intention to shame you on all those fatty food you eat because when you see Hibiki chowing down all those tasty high cholesterol yummies, you can see the amount of calories she consumed printed on the screen. Yeah, a warning to be careful because you are also literally what you eat… As this show isn’t your worst nightmare Spartan demon instructor, go ahead and eat what you love but just remember to burn out equally what you put in. I wonder how many calories I have burnt while typing this ‘long’ blog. I’m not going to be optimistic, though…

Character wise, they aren’t anything much since the exercises and workouts that the spotlight. Each of them has their own personality but it isn’t deep because as we don’t want you to be distracted with character development. And of course the character whom will draw a lot of attention is Machio. This guy whose name itself is suspiciously a pun of to become macho, you got to love him when he starts to do Hulk’s specialty of ripping his clothes when he flexes just to show off all his muscles. He guides the girls and views them having potential in staying in shape. We all just want to know where he gets those special gym clothes because the moment he puts it on, he shrinks into normal size! So technically if I wear them, it would make my flabby belly and fat stomach disappear!!! Oh yeah! Where can I get those clothes?! Sometimes I think Machio just wants to flex his muscles as he never misses a chance to show them off. Just the slightest pun of the buzzword will send him shredding his gym clothes and posing like Mr Universe. Once you get used to this like the other girls, you’ll ignore him and let him do his flexing in the background. Now that Machio is now elevated to some godly status after that bodybuilding win, will macho-ness descend onto everyone in the world?! Because in terms of muscle strength, I’m sure he can put Kratos (God of War fame) to shame! “Oh my macho” to “Oh my Machio <3”! With Machio and the rest of those regular buffed guys in the gym, there is this unfounded fear that spending too much time would turn you into one of them and become gay… I don’t know, I just feel that way. From

It was no surprise that Arnold’s spoof would somewhat appear as I predicted it should happen somewhere early in the series. I guess Arnold has been the epitome of a great bodybuilder. Those who are old enough will remember this guy showing off those abs and body in that Conan movie. While I have no qualms about this Last Action Hero Predator dude making his cameo, my only ‘complain’ is why the English subbed version changed his name to Barnold Shortsinator. Originally if the spoken Japanese and even in the credits is Harnold Dogegenchonegger. I don’t know what pun Dogegenchonegger is supposed to be taken from but I guess ‘dogeza’ which means to prostrate could be it because you look short when you are on your knees. Yeah… But maybe Shortsinator sounds close to Schwarzenegger… And Sgatham is pronounced as ‘sugoi-tham’. Yeah… Too bad buffed action heroes didn’t make their appearance like Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and uhm, Chuck Norris? Heh, don’t want to turn this into some The Expendables knockoff!

To be fair to the other characters, it’s not like they have no personality at all. Sometimes simplicity is best because they help pull off a few funny jokes instead of turning this into one boring serious workout video. I mean, how the heck can you run a workout episode for a normal 24 minutes runtime? Don’t want to repeat that mistake in Hinako, do we now? And so we have Hibiki who is probably the weakest link in the group (literally in terms of fitness) but she is commendable as she won’t give up and keeps trying. Just try to watch what you eat, okay? Don’t cut off totally but plan what you eat. Literally her motivation mostly runs on food and hot guys. Yeah… Then there is Akemi who is a muscle buff. Macho men are her type and I’m sure she’ll totally fall in love head over heels had she played that weird retro game, Cho Aniki. Yeah, it will freak many of us out. But not Akemi. Ayaka is probably the strongest of the group since her family runs a boxing gym so it is no surprise she has the stamina and damn those abs on par with Shingeki No Kyojin’s Mikasa. Gina feels like the stereotype foreigner. There’s this running joke cliché about her being a foreigner who loves Japan but misunderstands its culture. And sometimes the things she says, you wonder if she is also a Russian because she doesn’t do, uhm, Russian-like stuffs. But you can learn a few simple Russian words from her.

All in all, despite all their effort they put in, the one thing that continues to elude them… They still have no boyfriend! Yeah, it’s the elusive prize and rare Pokemon they’ll ever catch! Heh. If they don’t snag one soon, soon they will join the singles club like Satomi and Aina. Every new year just drinking and getting drunk all by themselves. So sad… Good thing these girls are straight despite they go to an all-girls’ school. So f*ck the PC culture of gays and lesbians, these girls want a handsome guy as their man! Can’t you be happy for them for that? Oddly, after all the training we see them do, they don’t become buffed like Machio. Or at least we see them gain some muscles. Still the thin and svelte figure. Maybe they did enough power training to maintain that feminine size. Heck, even Hibiki looks rather okay before she started her Silverman Gym workout. After all, they don’t want to freak out hot pretty boys by looking so buffed, right? Don’t want to turn into Amazon women, right? On a trivial and unnecessary note, I wonder how many calories sex burns… Oh sh*t! A question that I’ve been dying to ask this series!!! It would be straight up weird to see a porn version of this series! Then a different ‘workout’ for us viewers, if you know what I mean!

Art and animation for this series feels simple and because of that, it has this cartoonish feel. To a point that sometimes when I look at it, the slightly cartoonish tone of the series, is this anime targeted for younger audiences? I don’t know. The girls look cutely cute, though? As we all know with Machio being so buffed, he looks funny and cartoonish so there you have it. And with the girls’ design being simple, I have a feeling I have seen them from other animes. Like I thought Hibiki looked like Nana from Sunohara-sou No Kanrinin-san. Doesn’t Ayaka look like Danganronpa’s Asahina? Akemi shares a resemblance to Ojou from Oshiete! Galko-chan and Gina is a simpler version of Anna from Shimoneta. Satomi? Those droopy eyes sure remind me of Sanae from Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san. No points to guess whom Barnold and Jason take after. Hasta la vista, baby! This anime is done by Dogo Kobo who did YuruYuri, New Game, Himouto! Umaru-chan, Gabriel Dropout, Love Lab and GJ-Bu. Therefore you might see some similarities on the trademark of the girls’ cuteness here.

For the voice acting department, it is great to hear Yui Horie helming at least a supporting role instead of some minor extra role. After making taking a hiatus and thought she had made a comeback after that disastrous Ousama Game, she would be back for good but ever since she has been taking just cameo roles. So I hope to hear more of her but I have to also be realistic because I have to come to realize that many of my favourite seiyuus at this point are starting to go into semi-retire state. Oh well. I guess I should be appreciative of what I can get. The other seiyuus whom I recognized are Nao Touyama as Gina, Haruka Tomatsu as Aina, Rina Satou as Nana, Sayaka Ohara as Kure and Hiroyuki Yoshino as Deire. Shockingly I didn’t realize it was Yuuichi Nakamura’s voice behind Jason. Maybe he wasn’t in his usual angst mode that I often recognize him in like Fairy Tail’s Gray and Clannad’s Tomoya.

Another amazing note is how Hibiki is played by Ai Fairouz who is an Egyptian-Japanese. Not bad for her in landing a major voice acting role in her debut. I never actually thought she would be a foreigner because she sounds so, uhm, Japanese! Kudos on her first role and hope to hear her more in the future. The rest of the other casts are Sora Amamiya as Akemi (titular character in Akame Ga Kill), Shizuka Ishigami as Ayaka (Mito in Shokugeki No Souma), Kaito Ishikawa as Machio (Iida in Boku No Hero Academia), Tessyo Genda as Barnold (Kaidou in One Piece) and Nobuo Tobita as Toshio (Souun in Uchouten Kazoku).

Personally, the most amazing part which catches your attention is the opening theme. Onegai Muscle by the duet of Hibiki and Machio is an absolutely fantastic catchy song. Why, this song could be in the running for the best anime song of the year! This song has such vibrancy and vitality that not it makes a good song for any workout video. The hip hop and rap nature enhances its awesomeness and you can learn some of the workout terms from the lyrics too. Even if I can’t bring myself to do all those exercises, I sure can hear this song over and over and over and over again to get hype! I never really got bored of it! Let me hear this song one more time! “Onegai muscle, meccha motetai! Onegai muscle, meccha yasetai, yes!”… As for the ending theme, Macho A Name by Machio is also epic in its own right but personally it still can’t match up to Onegai Muscle. In this song, it sounds weird because you have all the macho guys singing in the background and it just makes you feel gay hearing it! I mean, with the lyrics like, “Muscle, muscle! Kinniku wa muscle, Oideyo macho a name”. Ugh! So gay… And honestly, it’s still nice to listen! But not sing along because I feel gay while trying to do so… The final episode’s ending theme, Snow Globe by Tea feels like some epic Hollywood slow ballad. It is fitting for that final episode but how come it reminds me of Titanic’s My Heart Will Go On? Probably as it is sung in English and has that suspiciously familiar flute accompaniment. My Muscles Will Go On should’ve been it!

Honestly, to let you in on a little secret, I have been doing a bit of a personal workout myself even before this series aired. Yup, I do some short exercises while I watch my daily anime but they only often lasts as long as 10 minutes. So I’m not going to get that desired body any time soon. Gotta be patient and persevere… But thanks to this anime which could not have been even timely, now I have a few more ideas to add to my repertoire and now my workout session can last up till about 15 minutes before I’m out breath! Hey, at least there is some sort of improvement, no?! I hope. But still not cutting down on that tasty and yummy chocolate and fried chicken, though… Some pleasures you just can’t do away with completely.

Overall, this anime has been quite entertaining, educational and enlightening. This series is refreshing and unique because it is quite down to earth, simple and realistic. Something different than all the isekai fantasy genre that we’ve been spammed lately in recent seasons. Who’d knew there would be so much fun in seeing the characters wade through their way through various simple exercises. A double bonus for me because it makes me feel good inside after watching while doing my mini exercises. I know they make it look easy but you still have to put in the effort and be consistent and persistent. No pain, no gain. Though, having no pain is still my preferred motto. Even if they don’t get a boyfriend in the end, at least they stayed fit. Fit and single sounds a lot better than fat and single (loser)! F*ck PC culture on fat acceptance! It’s the survival of the fittest not the fattest. It’s either you shape up or you ship out. Until then, always nice bulk everybody! Oh my macho…

I never liked or got into the game of baseball. Even with my stints with Princess Nine and Taishou Yakyuu Musume many years ago, here I am watching Hachigatsu No Cinderella Nine. Was it a slow anime season for me? Need to feel up my seasonal quota of animes to watch that I had to pick this? And yeah, I guess it’s because they got a team of cute girls as the main characters, huh? Must be it. Definitely. Oddly in that same season this anime premiered, we have another 2 established and popular baseball themed animes airing in the same season, Diamond No Ace: Act II and Mix: Meisei Story. Is it baseball season? But I guess you can tell what kind of people we are depending on which of these 3 baseball themed animes we watch. By saying all that, I already can tell before I start watching this one, the outcome and sentiments of this all-female baseball anime is going to be. Let’s play ball!

Episode 1
A new school term has started at Satogahama High School. Clubs are putting up demonstrations for potential newbies to join. Until Tsubasa Arihara does the unthinkable by going on stage and boldly seeks for new recruits for a baseball club. What’s wrong with that? The school doesn’t officially have one. Later, she apologizes the student council president, Shiho Noumi over this. Although her friend, Tomoe Kawakita also does the same since it was her idea that put her up to this. But don’t fret. There’s still hope. Teacher Momoko Kakehashi allows them to start off as an association till they have enough members. With the duo off to recruit members, in no time we can tell that Yuuki Nozaki and Akane Ukita who are somewhat interested but shy in wanting to join eventually tries it out. The quartet practise by the river bank. Don’t worry if Yuuki and Akane don’t have any baseball experience. Tsubasa and Tomoe have plenty. After a few catching practises, time for a little character drama as Akane mentions she is interested in playing baseball because of an old friend but she is no good in sports. However there were no girl baseball clubs she could try out. Likewise, Yuuki was from the basketball club and had this trauma of holding her teammates back. Hence she is somewhat afraid to try another club. Tsubasa manages to find a few other kids to join in and play some decent mini baseball game. Safe to say, it sparked their interest and more importantly self-confidence in the game. When they try to find the duo to officially join, they hear an argument coming from the student council room. It seems they are prohibited to practice in school.

Episode 2
The logic is that the school has no proper baseball facilities and letting them practice means they might break other stuffs and be a danger to others. They get stubborn and almost got into trouble. Thankfully nothing was broken. Before finding a place to play, they are at the baseball store to get some proper gear. Yeah, those gloves are really costly. Fellow classmate, Waka Suzuki is also here. The rest jump the gun thinking she is interested to join them! Desperate, huh? She’s just here to accompany her brother who plays baseball for his university. Wow. Real life celebrity! Thanks to that, Waka has a lot of knowledge on baseball despite not playing the game. This doesn’t stop the quartet to bug her for tips. Kakehashi has found a field for them to practice. Some kind owner decides to lend them instead of seeing it go to waste. Oh well, time to clean up this abandoned field first. You can tell their passion is as equal as baseball so cleaning up is such fun! Waka watches the girls play and seeing Akane play reminds of herself so much. Tsubasa invites her to play but she gives excuses she can’t. Flashback shows Waka’s talent was that she was able to pick out and spot oddities and this made her a valuable asset. As other people praised her, she began picking up baseball tactics and data. Thus she thinks she is better at this rather than playing. But you know what? Her brother knows she wants to play and lends her his glove. And so Waka joins in the play and realizes, hey, this is fun too! Yeah, her face might not show it but I believe her heart is saying something like that. And with Akane giving all she’s got and the rest having fun, safe to say that she’s going to join the club. And what luck, Kakehashi also decides to become their advisor as she doesn’t mind advising 2 clubs at once.

Episode 3
Things are getting better as they even have their own clubroom. Now to apply for funding… As they continue practising, this weird cheerleading girl, Yoshimi Iwaki starts cheering on them. She heard about their efforts and decides to cheer for them all the way. Heck, she even got their upcoming games? What games? They don’t even have enough members! Hence they would like her to help out with the recruitment. And quickly enough, she pulls in Aoi Asada. She is considered the best gambler in school and never lost. Uhm, is that legal? Well, as long as she sticks to rock-scissors-paper gambling! Yeah, Yoshimi has never won against her! And Aoi might feel Tsubasa is something special because she got a draw! With Aoi joining in, she also drags Yoshimi to join. Yay! More members. Later, Waka notices Ayaka Nakano has been stalking them. The only newspaper club member is trying to make her big scoop and thinks their club will be it since there aren’t many high school girls baseball clubs throughout the nation. Tsubasa believes this can also help in their recruitment. Then they hit the batting centre. Some are natural and some might need a little more practice. Maybe much more. Then they notice this sleek beauty coming in to bat. Ryou Shinonome looks like she is a pro! Well, I thought Tsubasa would go over to recruit her but she goes to bat alongside her. Both are amazing. However both know each other but Ryou isn’t impressed with Tsubasa and thinks she is just play pretending. Later the rest discover that the duo faced off in last year’s All Japan Senior Little League Championship’s semi-finals on opposing teams. Tsubasa’s side went on to win the title. Tsubasa is surprised she came to this school and before she could recruit her, Ryou declines her. She doesn’t want to waste time with a school club and intends to join a real club team. Because Tsubasa is having fun, Ryou thinks she is not taking the game seriously.

Episode 4
Flashback to that semi-final, Tsubasa’s team was losing at first. Nothing says motivation like Tsubasa telling her teammates to just enjoy the game. And the irony is that when they do that, they started winning and now Ryou’s team was the one feeling the pressure. Is it me or is Tsubasa and Ryou the only girls in their team? In the end, Tsubasa’s team came back for a win and the rest is history. However after that historic win, Tsubasa wasn’t too happy. For the next 6 months she didn’t play baseball as she quit the team. Not sure what their different goal was. Was Tsubasa just wanting to have fun while the guys were like we need to aim higher and win the world cup? She could have quit baseball for good had not Tomoe talked her out of it and rekindled her love for the game. And so here we are now. She’s trying to create a team so they can have fun playing baseball together. After hearing this nice story, Ayaka decides to join. Gee, that was easy. Is this the dream and drama she is looking for? Of course you’d think she would be going to recruit Ryou but nope. She’s just asking when her try out for the club team is. Because on that day, Tsubasa and the girls come to watch and cheer on Ryou. So we see the hopefuls against the regulars. Again, is Ryou the only girl in this try out? Because the newbies are like taking it easy, this pisses off Ryou as she snaps for them to get serious. Hey girl. Why so serious? If that wasn’t awkward enough, Tsubasa starts cheering Ryou’s name. She won’t stop because she doesn’t want her to give up baseball like she did. Seeing her try her best amazes her so that’s why she wants to see her keep playing her style of baseball. That’s the clincher for everybody to join in the chant. And now we can see everyone giving it all and playing better. In the aftermath as our baseball girls practice, Ryou marches in and lectures them on how to properly swing, bat, posture and everything. Who made her coach? Then they bug her for the try out result. She failed. Why everyone so surprised? But Ryou has no regrets because she gave her all. So I guess change of heart for Ryou? Yup. Now we have a complete all-girl baseball club! Even if you have dreams, you need to start from somewhere even if it is the most unlikely and unwanted of places.

Episode 5
Finally! They pull out the last weed from their field! Hooray! Accomplishment! Now they can practice for real. Better still. They want to play their first game. After setting up positions for each of them, they suddenly realize the vital thing they’ve been missing: Uniform! Unfortunately they cost a bomb and they have used up their funds on practice balls. Also, Kakehashi has managed to secure a team who will play them. It’s just a school in the next area, Seijo High School. And in 2 weeks, our Satogahama has their uniform design and even their uniforms ready! Power of parent sponsor… The match day is here. Sayaka Jinguji is the captain of Seijo’s baseball team. We see both side being noobs, clumsily handling the ball and striking out many times. So when Satogahama gets their first run and points, they think they could really win this. Might as well stay positive. And then the pace starts to change when Sayaka starts using some slider throw thingy. When Seijo starts scoring and leading, don’t tell me you girls are starting to get demoralized. And then this truth from Ryou. She realizes that Seijo has been fielding their players in positions they aren’t used to and now that they are switching them to their original roles, they’re going to have a hard time. Because they have a goal and different mind set, Satogahama have already lost before the game started. Well, you didn’t have to make it sound that bad, right? In the end Seijo thumped Satogahama. 12-1. Our girls so demoralized that they didn’t show up for practice? Self blame game begins. Like Akane blaming herself for making too many mistakes and especially Tsubasa blaming herself for trying to hype up everyone for their first game. Eventually everybody shows up. Then they start screaming out their mistakes (hope this isn’t going to be some sort of tradition) and you know they will move forward and get better. That’s how you grow, right? A group cheer to top it off.

Episode 6
Exam season is here so naturally Tsubasa wants to hold off practice until it’s over. But Tomoe can’t wait that long. She feels the need to get better now and hence when she stumbles upon Sayaka’s secret practice place behind the shrine, Tomoe pleads to be trained by her. She can’t ask Tsubasa since she can’t be strict with her. With Tomoe taking secret practices, you bet the rest is going to smell something fishy as Tomoe herself is starting to act a little strange. And then Yoshimi and Aoi spot this ‘unholy alliance’ and report to Tsubasa. Faster than the speed of light, Tsubasa comes down to the ground and is shocked to see this ‘unholy alliance’. The drama ramps up with Tsubasa confronting Tomoe and yelling she told her she would have practised with her once the exams are over. Tomoe yells back about Tsubasa unable to be strict with her. Is it because they’re best friends? In that case, she quits being her friend! Oh my. Oh dear. Hey, at least she didn’t quit the club! Haha! Oops, sorry… And so it gets awkward between everyone. Yup, even the other members are affected. Even Tsubasa has a talk with Sayaka but nothing conclusive since the latter doesn’t want to butt in to the affairs of others. As this awkwardness cannot go on, the rest setup for Tsubasa and Tomoe to meet. A little chat here and there. To cut cliché friendship drama short, they’re back again as friends. Especially when Tsubasa became so emotional about the thought that they aren’t best friends! Gimme a big hug with loads of tears! With everything back to normal, there is nothing left but for them to get better at their game.

Episode 7
Broken bat. Hole in the net. No money. Baseball maintenance is sure expensive and taking part time jobs is only a short term solution. The only way is to upgrade their association status to a club. Talking to Shiho about it, she sends Kana Tsukumo to evaluate. Meanwhile Yuuki stumbles into old elementary schoolmate who is also in Satogahama, Maiko Kurashiki and finds that she isn’t in any club yet. Care to join the baseball club? After all, Maiko has this penchant to help others in need even if she doesn’t admit it. Maiko tries out playing baseball as Kana who could have been their greatest asset since she is quite athletic but she is only here to observe. But Kana knows that Maiko is a troubled child and often has run-ins with the police. It gets a bit awkward when Kana and Maiko have some sort feud since Kana is brutally honest and saying it with a deadpan face. We see Maiko is having household problems. More like her parents are fighting and she is caught in the middle. She can’t stand this and runs away. Because of that, she ends up in a fight with drunkards in town and although the drunkards were the one who started the fight, Maiko is also taken in by the police?! WTF is wrong?! So when the baseball girls hear about this, you bet they get worried and start looking for her. Maiko and her mom are talking to teachers about this problem at school. Maiko then snaps because she cannot stand people talk about what’s best for her when it is only in their own best interest. She is mad they are going to take away her place. Of course Kana heard all that and goes to talk to Maiko. Ironically from a girl who has ‘facial muscle problem’, she wants Maiko to smile more often. She can tell Maiko is having fun with the baseball girls and Maiko is surprised because she thought nobody ever looked at her. In the end, Maiko only has to send in a written apology (no suspension or expulsion. Phew) and because Kana giving her heartfelt speech to the teachers how the baseball club gives Maiko a place to be, the association is now officially a club and yes, Maiko officially joins as a full-fledge member.

Episode 8
Hey. Kana has joined the baseball club? I guess sooner or later this is the question that all clubs need to answer: Do you want to participate in the Nationals? Oh yeah. Looking up at some of the online clips, we can see some really professional play from established high schools. Especially Kogetsu High School whose star player is Tsubaki Kousaka. Then they look at the tournament bracket. You mean they don’t have to go into preliminaries and can go straight into the Nationals? Hooray! The perks of not having many female baseball clubs at high school level. Then a short history on the on and off popularity of female in baseball. But here is their biggest problem yet: Money. If they win games, they have to cover transport and lodging costs on their own. Don’t worry, despite the student council has approved the club, all they need now is the school’s approval and Kakehashi will get it done. Unfortunately the senior teacher rejects her because of the unrealistic budget. Heck, this school doesn’t even have a boy’s baseball club and you know how expensive it is to run a baseball team? Besides, how is Kakehashi going to handle 2 clubs at the same time? Despite Kakehashi promising this and that, this is still not enough to convince her. So Kakehashi ‘lies’ to the girls that everything is going on fine. We know she doesn’t want to worry them but the girls are smart enough to know from her reaction that things are going smoothly. Just when Kakehashi is about to give up, she sees the girls help nurturing sunflower next to their practice field. I guess some water spray fun made her go kookie. Or it helped refreshed her outlook. Because now she is determined to see this through. With Ayaka writing supportive articles on the baseball club, the girls also get signatures from everyone to support them. I’m thinking with those thick sets of paper, heck they might even got the entire town! Once more Kakehashi sees the senior teacher. I guess after all the persistence, she relents. Even though this would still be a problem for her to handle both clubs, she hints Kakehashi can handle the baseball club while she takes over her kendo club. Oh wow. Super good news. We did it, girls! We’re going to play ball at the Nationals this year!

Episode 9
What to do when the tournament is around the corner? Training camp! My theory for them staying at the temple is not only because it’s cheap, maybe they’ll get divine intervention to help them win games!!! Haha! We see them practice and Ryou and Tsubasa are asking if Yuuki can be their pitcher since she is left-handed. She turns them down as she doesn’t have confident in herself and thinks she might hurt others with her throw. With some of the girls having a hard time finding their rhythm, it seems the tempo of the priest’s wooden block did the trick to synchronize their timing. More boring training scenes in between. Until the last day of their stay, Ryou then dismisses claims from the other girls that there was a head priest. That short guy who is always smiling? Never seen him. Oh sh*t… As proof, they review the videos that Ayaka has been recording. Nobody there! No such person at all! OH SH*T!!! Then a blackout happens. Meanwhile, only Yuuki is away washing the dishes so she probably didn’t hear about the ghost thingy since the head priest talks to her about her low self-confidence. He has her practice her pitching. What if her pitch hurts him? Just pretend that he is a ghost! He hopes she can keep smiling and relax because baseball is supposed to be fun. With that, Yuuki makes a successful pitch. Hey, where did the head priest go? Meanwhile it gets scarier for the other girls because they see a spirit ball coming towards them! HOLY SH*T!!! Turns out to be Kakehashi checking on them. What nice timing the lights come back on. Kakehashi even notes there is no old guy around and the current head priest who lives here is only 30 years old. But they think that old guy isn’t evil because he is always smiling. Later it is revealed that ex-head priest is the current one’s father and he was a baseball player. As the girls continue practising back home, they realize Tsubaki watching them. Scouting the enemy?

Episode 10
Tsubaki asks a few questions and then leaves. You mean nobody recognizes her? Only when they’re back in the room did they realize who she is. What’s that again she’s the number one pitcher in Japan? Here’s news from Kakehashi: Kogetsu wants to play a practice match with them. Why do only strong teams want to play with Satogahama? Is it morally boosting to bash a lowly opponent? You bet they’re going to accept this. Tsubasa allots the roles to her team. If it looks like Tomoe and Akane are left out, she lets them be the all important base coaches. Match day is here. It’s like the producers want to paint a bad picture of Tsubaki being a b*tch because she’s arrogant, refuses to shake hands with Tsubasa and claims this practice is for her third stringers. She’s just here to watch. Satogahama manages to take an early lead thanks to Ayaka’s data on these players. It’s like the producers want us to hate Tsubaki even further because she cracks the whip and lets the whole world know that if they don’t buck up, she’ll cut them off from the team! And there she was watching at the match as bored as f*ck. With this, Kogetsu is able to put up some fight. But there is some drama brewing on Satogahama side. It seems Akane has been running low on self-confidence. Any wrong calls, she takes it upon herself as fault of why they lost that run. It’s got to a point so low that it’s so freaking obvious that it’s time for Tsubasa to come weave her magic motivational talk. You know, how her motivation kept her going. Blah, blah, blah. And with a great pat on the back, you bet Akane is up and running. Now it is Satogahama’s turn to turn on the heat. When you want something done, do it yourself. Because now Tsubaki decides to get into the play. But alas a little too late as Satogahama wins this match by a narrow margin. Yeah, so happy that they’re crying. Never saw this coming, huh? Eat that, Tsubaki b*tch!

Episode 11
The Nationals are finally here! So guess who Satogahama will face in the first round? Seijo! The power of coincidence has them stay at the same place and even having BBQ together! Is this power bonding? Awkward but whatever. Let’s have a good game, right? And as always, Tsubasa thanking her girls for always sticking with her. With Satogahama and Seijo being the first match the kick off the Nationals, Satogahama has extra support in the form of their schoolmates as well as family members coming over to watch. Otherwise this is a very much empty stadium. To cut short this first match, we see Satogahama drawing first blood by scoring the first point. Gee, Seijo getting depressed and despite claiming they have improved a lot ever since, does this mean they were underestimating them in the first place? And then with Sayaka getting serious as the pitcher and batter, Seijo manages to earn a point and now draw with Satogahama. Gee, it’s still early in the game and the opponents just caught up, why Satogahama is looking depressed right now? I guess tensions are running high. Nobody wants to be the laughing stock to go out early in this game.

Episode 12
The game continues and as we see the running joke of Yoshimi who has never been able to bat a pitch, when she finally hits her first ball, she strikes homerun!!! Now who’s laughing?! This has Seijo call a timeout. Sayaka promises she’ll take it from here but one of the members tell her to stop. Some short snippets of how Sayaka singlehandedly revived Seijo’s baseball club after it was disbanded by the previous coach’s scandal. Amidst the praising it was her who built up this club and got them this far, she also says the problem of everyone relying on her. Therefore she doesn’t want Sayaka to carry the rest of the team by herself. Because, did she have fun? Did Tsubasa influence her? I guess so. Because she’ll let today be an exception. The game continues. Seijo looks like they’re playing better now. Yawn… Until Aoi sprains her ankle! Time to switch to Tomoe. Also, Maiko’s hand is going to break from all that pitching so she switches with Yuuki. Time to strut her stuff. More snippets until the game… Oh what’s this?! An article written how Satogahama lost in the second round???!!! Wait a minute!!! They fast forwarded too much!!! But thanks to their heroic efforts, there are more girls now interested to join their baseball club. Yeah, you can find them practising down at their sunflower field. Don’t be shy. Just play ball!

Life’s A Pitch!
Man… That kind of ending that felt so rushed that it felt just downright insulting! Not only did we not see how Seijo lost to Satogahama, however we didn’t even see how Satogahama lost in the next round! Heck, we don’t even know who they lost too! WTF?! It puts all the final episode drama on Seijo to waste. Uh huh. Oddly Seijo feels like they were the one in focus for the final episode. Sayaka was so adamant to not let Seijo’s story end here but from what we’ve seen, she must be crying all alone in her room. Poor Sayaka. She was already burdened with this responsibility and then this. Just only 2 months ago they beat Satogahama in a practice game but looks like they’ve improved a lot. Furthermore, she personally coached Tomoe and it’s like the student got better than the master. How cruel fate is. Nobody knows what happened to Sayaka and Seijo after that match but who cares because it is all smiles for Satogahama. Yup. We’re all still having fun playing baseball. Care to join us? Me? Nah. I’m good.

Sad to say that the story and plot itself is predictable, clichéd and not interesting at all to say the least. However this is because of the injustice of just having a dozen episodes and that itself is not enough to flesh out everything properly. We only have 12 episodes to flesh out everything and therefore everything feels so much pretty rushed although at some points it got a little draggy because you know, they need to put in some drama. Hence this series was somewhat doomed from the start when it was announced it will only have 12 episodes. I am not sure there will be future season but seeing the direction and the response to this series, it is mostly unlikely. Unlike its Diamond No Ace and Mix counterparts, this one never had a chance to shine at all. Those 2 animes already had an established fan base and have a lot of episodes prior to this. That is why even though I did not watch them, I can tell that they are doing much better than this one. Yeah, I read the internet comments on them too.

Worse still, the baseball game here isn’t exciting and I believe is not the main highlight. Especially the final episode which just felt like one long snippet that went on and on and on. I was thinking when the heck this is going to be over and move on to the next game. I am deducing that they want to bring in some character development and put the focus on the group of girls but personally I feel that fails too. You see, when you have a season that spends most of its time trying to recruit members and then trying to tackle the drama and issues that some of the characters are facing, where does the baseball game go? Heck, the Nationals don’t even start after 5/6 of the season is gone! The Nationals officially starts on the penultimate episode of the season!!! At this point, I am predicting the dark horse of Satogahama will lose early or they will leave a cliff-hanger if they manage to go on and surprise everyone and win their matches. It doesn’t help that baseball is not my favourite sport or the kind of sport that I would consider in my top 10, 20 or 50! Hence when I look at the girls play their practice and official match, they’re just boring and I’m so lost at what they’re doing. Just like how people who don’t like football see 22 grown men chasing a ball around the field, I view baseball as 18 people hitting and throwing a ball while running around the field.

If the story sucks and the baseball game itself sucks, what about the characters then? Oh, you already know the answer. They suck too. Like I have said, a dozen episodes is not enough to do justice and flesh out all the characters even in the same team. Due to this limit, we see them breezing through and it felt a bit rushed. That’s why with the initial team recruiting episodes, it felt like they need to quickly make up the numbers and hence pulled in other girls who are ‘interested’. Gee, that was fast. What a coincidence, we got enough members just in time for the Nationals. So what Tsubasa had some baseball experience and only wants to play baseball because of fun? So what Ryou wants to make it big but looks like her dreams are too big and ever since she officially began joining the team, she became a minor character. I thought she was the ace of the team but it felt like she didn’t even make any impact at all. I thought she would be Satogahama’s first pitcher or batter seeing that she is good but I don’t know what Tsubasa was thinking as she let others do the pitching and batting and Ryou is just playing in some other field. Is she okay with that? Well, if everyone is okay with it, fine by me. They seem to make a big deal out of Tsubasa’s goal to have fun playing baseball. You mean when one is aiming to be competitive, you can’t have fun? Why not have both? Has baseball become so competitive that if you want to be the best of the best, the top of your game, you can’t enjoy the game? Maybe when you’re an internationally famous big star raking in the big bucks, maybe. Who these girls, man???!!!

When you have a bunch of misfits in your group, that sort of variety in characterization and personality should be interesting to watch but unfortunately the same cannot be said here. It feels that the other girls in Satogahama have personality that is just superficial, enough just to distinguish everyone from each other. Is Yoshimi some sort of delinquent and banchou wannabe? Because that’s all I see in her aside that serial missed batting running joke. Not as troubled as Maiko but thank goodness her family troubles didn’t spill over and affect the baseball team, right? Should Ayaka be in journalism instead of playing baseball? I don’t know, her journalism seems to be her better skill but I guess they’re short of members and we need someone who can get outside data. Because Waka is only on technicalities of the game so Ayaka is still needed as the ‘spy’.

Kana the robo because of her poker face and no emotions and Aoi the, uhm, perm? She should have been giving Kaiji a run for his money as a gambler but I guess we all forgot that she is one. High school girl as a gambler?! Gasp! That would have been interesting to watch! Then we have Yuuki and Akane having low self-confidence so whenever plot conveniences is needed to drive up the drama, you bet they have something on this. Same thing for Tomoe. Best friends sometimes do fight, right? All in all, the Satogahama girls fail to make us want to support them as I don’t even feel that their bonds with each other is that close. The training camp, the practices and even Tsubasa’s heartfelt grateful speech for her comrades sticking through thick and thin with her feel shallow. Kakehashi feels irrelevant and showing her putting in the ‘hard work’ to get the school to approve the club to play in the Nationals felt like the greatest achievement for her. Just in time, baby. Really. Otherwise, getting them scheduled practice matches seem to be easy pie. I wonder if her kendo club she is also supervising felt neglected. Oh don’t you worry. Kakehashi is young and single so you bet she has the energy to do both!

I know this is just a story and fantasy, but it still feels unrealistic that a group of girls who aren’t really that good in baseball (with the exception of Tsubasa and Ryou of course) they manage to put up a decent game. Sure, they made improvements. But in that short amount of time? Wow. They must be so talented and do nothing but practice, practice and more practice. Like Tomoe getting her coaching from a rival school, yeah that seems legit to show why she can play good baseball with her teammates. Akane overcoming her low self-confidence, it’s like once that has been conquered, she’s going full speed ahead and her playing has soared! What about their practice field that is next to a sunflower patch? I guess they cleaned it up good so they are rewarded with exceptional practice sessions. I don’t know. Might be the spirit of the field’s way of thanking them for taking care of the place. Better than all those expensive baseball dedicated facilities, eh? Wow. Super realistic, girls. It’s a wonder why no talent agency has scouted them already. Oh right. They lost so I guess that’s that. Hey, at least we don’t have to put up with that Tsubaki b*tch whose appearance now felt even more redundant since the series ended.

Heck, come to think of it, I believe they even misnamed the title. Although 9 people are to play on a baseball field, because Satogahama has 11 members, shouldn’t it be Hachigatsu No Cinderella Eleven? I’m sure nobody is going to confuse that with Ocean’s Eleven or something. And I don’t think Cinderella is such a fitting term to use in baseball because nobody wears glass slippers to play baseball, right?! Do you see the Satogahama girls wearing glass slippers?! There was no magic in the first place so when it struck midnight, there was no magic that disappeared on them at the crucial time (I’m referring to their second round lost, just to be sure we’re on the same page).

Art and animation feel mediocre. There are many scenes in which the movement of the girls feel jerky and their facial expressions feel stiff. And it’s just weird that all the girls have this cute trademark on them that I believe is their glossy lips and big pretty anime eyes. Hmm… Kawaii… Me like. No wonder I was ‘attracted’ to watch this series. You can tell how ‘relevant’ the other baseball teams are by their baseball outfit. While Satogahama’s are pretty okay, those unimportant teams in the Nationals whom we will never know nor care are so f*cking plain and generic! Yeah… And they also try to differentiate the girls with different hairstyles and colours of the eyes and hair but the most outrageous designs are those who aren’t from the baseball club but other schoolmates. Do you not notice there is a girl with this outrageous pompadour hairstyle?! Then there is a tanned petite girl who somewhat reminds me of Love Hina’s Kaolla Su. Seriously. And she has a chibi as a pet squirrel? Oh, is that shy low self-confidence girl Nagato from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu? Is this another one of those animes she disappeared down the line? Damn, these girls would make it more interesting if they join the baseball club.

I guess differentiations in character designs are important because sometimes I might get confused with other characters. Because I thought Tsubasa + Ryou = Sayaka! Remember what I said about the girls’ expressions being rigid? Because for those who don’t really smile and have this serious look, I can foresee that if you just switch their hairstyles and hair and eye colour, they become that character! So if you switch Ryou with Kana, I guess they’re the same person! Same case for Tomoe and Ayaka. Same case for Waka and Shiho (by the way, doesn’t Shiho look like that stalker girl from Momokuri?). Damn, this is weird. Oddly, I thought Akane would forever where those cat ears and never take them off. Heck, she’s even got a baseball cap with that design. And that practice match with Kogetsu she wore a standard cap, I was like, who the heck is this character???!!! Yeah, those cat ears are so important to differentiate her now… But for some characters I suppose I can always 100% tell with certainty like Aoi because nobody has got a perm like hers. And why the heck does Tsubaki look like a meaner version of Da Capo’s Sakura?! This anime is done by TMS Entertainment who have done better sport anime titles like Megalo Box, Yowamushi Pedal, All Out and even, uhm, Baki? Unfortunately I didn’t see all of them.

Overall, this is a mediocre anime and serve to only ‘trick’ simpletons like yours truly into watching and thinking it is because it is cute girls doing cute things, baseball edition. And f*ck, no yuri at all! There are a hell lot of dedicated and better baseball series out there other than the aforementioned duo such as H2, Ookiku Furikabutte, One Outs and Major to name a few. Sad to say, although I cannot remember Princess Nine and Taishou Yakyuu Musume, my guts tell me they are still much better than this one. Stories of an underdog sports team are always welcomed and doesn’t grow old. However it is how the story and characters are executed and paced that becomes the challenge into whether making the series a hit or bomb. This series felt like it only had its 15 minutes of fame and then head back into the sleepy wilderness forever. Women in baseball itself is a novelty and not even as popular as their male counterparts not only in Japan but around the world and with this mediocrity, it is no wonder why not many females are going to pick up the sport and turn it into something more popular than what their male counterparts can do. I’m not saying that all sports, men dominate and play better. There are a few sports that we all still love to watch women play. Beach volleyball anyone?!

Tate No Yuusha No Nariagari

October 20, 2019

Naturally when one is to select a weapon, many would have opted to go for offensive melee weapons like swords, spears, lances, axes or ranged weapons like guns or bow and arrows. Not many would have picked shield as their primary weapon and would have only viewed it as some defence mechanism. Hence shields are not given as much prominence and does not receive its fair share of reputation, the most being relegated to fancy designs for coat of arms. But now we have an anime series to tell that shields can be as badass like any other weapons too. Herald, Tate No Yuusha No Nariagari. You know what they say that a good offence is a good defence. And our shield hero is going to show you why you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of shields. Oh, is this another isekai genre too?!

Episode 1
Naofumi Iwatani is your typical otaku. He has enjoying this lifestyle but all that comes crashing when he reads a strange fantasy novel at the library. You know, world in danger. Four heroes each holding a different weapon (sword, spear, bow and shield) are summoned to help save the world. The moment he turns to this strangely blank page he is suddenly summoned to another world. There are 3 other guys who were also summoned, Ren Amaki (why do I have a feeling he is taken after Kirito?), Motoyasu Kitamura and Itsuki Kawasumi. The summoners beg them to save their world after using some ancient ritual. However the other guys want to talk business and rewards before accepting any mission. They are brought to King Aultcray Melromarc XXII who explains destruction is about to beset this world in Waves. They already experienced the first one and underestimated it. They survived but at a great cost of casualty and damages. Unfortunately the heroes don’t start out strong. They must train and power up their weapons before the next Wave hits. The heroes retire to their rooms. To their surprise, they learn each come from a different alternate version of Japan. Naofumi feels he got the raw end of the stick because shield heroes are regarded as losers. Can only defend and not attack? Next day, the king has gathered brave warriors to join the heroes. So the warriors are the ones who get to choose which hero to join? Too bad for Naofumi, none joins him! Why do all the hot babes join Motoyasu? Sure he is hot guy but he’s such a cocky jerk… Because Naofumi keeps complaining, Myne Suphia from Motoyasu’s side decides to join him. She shows him around and brings him to Elhart who is a blacksmith to buy some gear. Too bad for Naofumi, he cannot wield any other weapon besides his shield bummer. He practises but the most he could do is destroy those weak orange ball monsters. Naofumi works hard to kill and sell monsters, enough to buy him a decent armour.

One night Myne wants to drink and flirt with him but Naofumi decides to be a gentleman and turn her down. But when he wakes up the next morning, he realizes he has been robbed. Worse, the royal guards arrest him. Before the king, he realizes he has been set up as Myne accuses him of raping her. More salt to his wounds as his armour is now worn by Motoyasu whom he claims Myne gave it to him as present for rescuing her. With nobody believing in Naofumi, he screws everything and wants to return home. However it cannot be done until the Waves are over. So you’re all in for the ride. As he is one of the heroes, Naofumi cannot be executed but banished. With rumours of his crime spread, Naofumi leaves and has turned into a bitter and resentful man. At least he is no longer naïve and has wise up. Elhart almost believed the rumours but choose to show some sympathy and give him a meagre gear as parting gift. Naofumi channels his anger to kill those orange balls and sells them for money. Those who threaten to pull a fast one on him will get their just desserts. He tinkers with his shield’s branching abilities and also try his hand at making medicine. When ‘adventurers’ claim they want to join him but Naofumi sets harsh terms for them, turns out they are robbers but nothing could beat a man who has been bitten once. Even more bitter as Naofumi realizes he cannot farm his offensive ability as cannot attack. A slave dealer, Berocas sees potential in him and decides to show him some slaves. They cannot disobey their master and demi-humans are usually used due to discrimination. Hello there. What have we got here? A cute raccoon girl?

Episode 2
Raphtalia is the cheapest slave he can afford and he will use her to upgrade his shield. Berocas then conducts a ritual to make a mark on her that makes it hard for her to defy him. He goes back to Elhart to get her some gear and forces this scared and meek girl to kill. He tells her straight she will fight monsters for him and to recoup the cost of acquiring her. He did say he doesn’t see slaves as people but he still treats her decently to food and trains her. Raphtalia learns he is the shield hero and remembers her parents told her that the shield hero treated them good. She still reels from the nightmare when a monster killed her parents who bought time to save her. All Naofumi can do is hug and console her. These nightly screams are going to be routine? Better get used to it. One day during training, Naofumi is attacked by a vicious monster. He tells Raphtalia to kill it but she is scared of blood. More truths lectured into her about the Wave and the likes. If he dies, he cannot protect her. He needs someone to fight for her as he cannot attack. With that, Raphtalia makes her first bloody kill and vows to fight for him. In order to make fast money, they head to the mines to collect gems. Nobody goes there as monsters inhabit it after the first Wave. However a dog monster similar to the one who killed Raphtalia’s parents pop up. She is paralysed in fear. Naofumi tells her the truth her parents cannot come back but she can prevent other kids from sharing her same fate. If he dies, so will her. As she is still is still afraid, Naofumi changes his mind. He will buy time for her to run away. This has Raphtalia realizes it will be the same as then. She picks up her sword and stabs the monster to death. She hugs him and cries not to die or leave her alone. So that’s the deal between them. She attacks, he defends. Simple.

Episode 3
I don’t know how long it has been but Raphtalia has now matured into a hot raccoon babe! She even has guts to talk back to Naofumi especially when he doesn’t put his own health as priority. With the Wave drawing closer, oddly this must be some huge coincidence as all 4 heroes converge at the cathedral to see how much time left before the next Wave hits. This gathering only brings bitter memories for Naofumi. They’re all still cocky and Naofumi bites his tongue to stay quiet and tries to leave. Jerk ass Motoyasu trying to flirt with Raphtalia? Thankfully that raccoon girl stays loyal to Naofumi. Who feeds her, right? She is still grateful to him for giving her a second chance in life. The day of the Wave is here. Sky changes colour. Weird portals throwing down monsters. Naofumi tries to defend the abandoned Lute village. Not sure if he can do much by being the bait and lure all the zombie monsters to a burning tower and let it crash. His brave act has the villagers returning to help him but he doesn’t want them to waste their lives and die for nothing. It gets worse when the royal guards simply fire their artillery to take everything out in the village. Naofumi is not pleased they aren’t defending the people they are supposed to but that’s none of his business. He would have let them become monster feed but he can’t sink to their level and still defends them. While some cocky guards leave to assist other heroes, those who see Naofumi’s true character stay behind to help him defend the village. With all the monsters defeated, the sky reverts back to normal and the portals disappear. Woah. You mean it was that easy?! Maybe that was just the warm up. Next Wave should be harder… The villagers thank Naofumi from the bottom of their heart although he remains sceptical and brushes it off as nothing. At least he commends Raphtalia for doing a good job.

Episode 4
A lavish party is thrown. Naofumi attends only because of the reward. Otherwise he is like the wallflower. However Motoyasu still isn’t pleased. He challenges him to a duel thinking he is mistreating Raphtalia as a slave (despite slavery is legal here). Naofumi sees no reason to accept this until the king orders him to do so. Even if Raphtalia stands by Naofumi, they think she is brainwashed. Yeah, everyone continues to think badly of this shield hero. In this one on one duel, Naofumi relies on his tricks. Not to say they are underhanded but everyone else thinks otherwise. He supposedly had the upper hand until Myne interrupts and deals a serious blow, allowing Motoyasu to win. When Naofumi calls her out, no one in the crowd saw what happened. With everyone continuing to badmouth him, Naofumi realizes everything has been a setup since Myne is the king’s daughter. With Raphtalia freed from her curse, Naofumi thinks she has turned against him. He blames his shield and starts hating this world. So much hatred that he activated some curse series?! Raphtalia slaps Motoyasu for doing something she never asked. She explains how Naofumi took care of her and never abused her. Can Motoyasu do all that? Ren and Itsuki call out to Motoyasu that he actually lost that duel since they saw some wind magic interfering. Raphtalia goes talk to Naofumi. At this point, he is already at the peak of his depression and burning with hatred. Raphtalia reasons that his shield save others many times over and that she believes he did not rape. Even if the whole world is against him, she will always be by his side. After all, he gave her a purpose in life. That warm hug must have did the trick to make him open his eyes and ears to her again. Raphtalia evolves to an even hotter raccoon chick. I don’t see any difference but Motoyasu can’t recognize her? He sleeps on her lap till morning comes.

Episode 5
All the heroes are given their rewards. Naofumi gets his minimum but Aultcray deducts the expense for freeing Raphtalia so he gets nothing. However Itsuki and Ren vouch Naofumi should get something as he defended Lute and also fought an unfair duel. Naofumi takes his minimum and leaves. Raphtalia returns to Berocas so she can get the slave mark back on her chest. She regards this as a symbol of his faith in her. Berocas introduces Naofumi to some monster egg lottery. If you take care of the hatched monster, it can fetch a handsome price when it grows up. If you win the jackpot, you might get a dragon. Naofumi buys one. Thanks to his heroics, store owners give him freebies for saving their relatives at Lute. The egg hatches into a small bird known as filolial. Amazingly Filo grows up into some Chocobo spinoff in 2 days! Trouble comes when Myne declares Lute under Motoyasu’s domain as one of his rewards. They are going to impose some levy to help rebuild it. Of course the villagers oppose it and so does Naofumi. Myne would have resorted to blackmail had not messengers drop in with a message. Whatever it is, she challenges Naofumi to a race over Lute. Initially Naofumi refuses but the villagers vow to reward him. The winner gets Lute after a 3 lap race around the village. Naofumi teases Filo and gets kicked in the crotch! Ouch! During the course of the race, of course Myne has her subordinates use magic to cheat but whatever attempts they do, Naofumi manages to get back. In the end, Filo’s beak seals the win. Sore loser Myne calls Naofumi a cheat and all but with the messengers detecting magic properties that do not belong to Naofumi or Raphtalia, Myne and Motoyasu back off for now. Since Naofumi doesn’t want to take money, the villagers give him a carriage. Good timing since Filo evolves into a bigger bird! Naofumi is also give a traveller’s pass that exempts him from tolls and can traverse many other roads. They take a rest since Raphtalia has motion sickness. Next morning, who the heck is this naked loli sleeping next to Naofumi???!!!

Episode 6
So let me guess, this loli is Filo levelling up? Sounds pretty fishy but there’s an explanation about how filolial can disguise itself as human… Anyway, with Elhart convinced Naofumi is some lolicon, because Filo has this penchant to change between forms, she rips her clothes. Need to find clothes that don’t rip between transformations. Where is Bruce Banner when you need him? It is possible to make such magic clothes but special materials are required. So as they travel to the next village, it seems a peasant request an emergency delivery. Naofumi does so and realizes in addition to become merchants, providing transport can also fetch a handsome profit. He continues with this trade and one day as he transports a wealthy trader, bandits ambush. Of course Naofumi’s team easily defeats them. When they think of throwing lies of him if handed to authorities (because he is the shield hero), Naofumi decides to kill them. How does it feel to become filolial feed? Now they are begging for their lives? Okay. He spares them but in exchange loots them? Sorry, donate all their tributes! The grateful trader pays back by teaching him how to craft gems and also introduce some connections. Naofumi heard the exploits of other heroes. They are doing well on their own but he finds Itsuki’s story all over the place and less credible. Naofumi’s party enter some mine to get the special ingredient. They overcome aural illusions and fight off some badass monster (did Filo and Raphtalia did some Mortal Kombat X-ray move there?!) before getting the desired gem that is crucial in making Filo’s magic clothes. And when it’s done, damn she looks like an angel! So cute that Raphtalia is jealous Naofumi is staring a lot at her.

Episode 7
Arriving at a village ravaged by vines, as expected the desperate villagers plead for Naofumi to help them. Long story short, the village was facing famine when Motoyasu brought a sealed seed here. Without a doubt it solved their food problem for a while but the tree mutated and started growing vines and plant monsters that destroyed everything. Even some of the villagers are being infected by the parasitic plant. Since they will pay and perhaps some sort of score to settle with that spear jerk, Naofumi heals the infected and then goes off to destroy the core. Not sure what ability he has because it seems the vines have no effect on him as he could easily approach and poison it with his medicine. Because he learnt a new skill upgrade, he even did some genetic mutation to create a better plant that will only produce greater food yield. Wow. This guy is soaring to greater heights. After leaving the village, they stop by and rest at a hotspring area. This part feels like filler as Raphtalia feels insecure since Filo is clinging too much to Naofumi. Thoughts of trying to snag Naofumi for herself fail since Filo is always with him. That night, both have this same idea to get some rare egg. It started out as a race but they realize it is better to cooperate since a giant wild boar stands in their way. Unfortunately the rampaging boar destroys the egg. I guess the boar can even sense how mad these girls are. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… Bringing back the dead meat boar to town, villagers want to pay them handsomely for it because it is used as offerings in their ritual. With the money, they buy an expensive metal crafting tool for Naofumi.

Episode 8
Entering a village where the people are dying of a disease, Naofumi treats their symptoms but didn’t cure them. As long as the root cause is around, the problem will go back to square one. It seems recently Ren slain a dragon on the mountain. This attracted visitors but they soon started dying because of the poison its rotting corpse emitted. Of course Naofumi will fix this for a fee. As they approach the dragon, it revives?! Zombie dragon?! Filo has a grudge against dragons and starts attacking it. Uhm, how do you kill a zombie anyway? Unfortunately, Filo gets eaten! Oh sh*t! Naofumi becomes so enraged that he unlocks his curse. Damn, he is so overpowered but evil! His trauma of betrayal fuelling that hatred. As he is about to dangerously go berserk, the voice of Raphtalia brings him to his senses. He realizes Raphtalia has been infected. He desperately tries to heal her but he needs that curse power to defeat the dragon. Don’t worry. Suddenly it dies. Filo bursts out from its stomach! She claims while eating through its stomach, she found a crystal that is supposedly its core. Yeah, she ate it too. Naofumi tries to use his reward money to get Raphtalia healed by the doctor doesn’t have enough materials nor power to stave off the curse. He lets him keep the money and perhaps the churches in bigger towns might help. Naofumi reflects on his actions. He realizes the difference between bravery and recklessness, caution and cowardice. As that cursed shield isn’t in his upgrade tree, had he continued to use it, he would have killed both of them. He realizes the need to protect them. The duo also share some of the blame for being reckless. Naofumi promises they’ll get stronger so he could protect those who believe in him. Raphtalia wants to him to accompany her tonight but he has Filo do it instead. Bummer.

Episode 9
Naofumi finds a girl frolicking with other filolial. She is Melty and because Filo can talk, they become friends! Wow. Naofumi now playing doctor? Because he is going to the capital tomorrow, Melty wants to hitch a ride. Isn’t it odd if she is part of the nobility, she got distracted playing with filolial and the guards left her behind???!!! Were they doing their job???!!! Along the way, one night they thought Filo ate her because her clothes are only left behind. Naofumi thinking of destroying evidence? Luckily, she was just sleeping in Filo’s feathers. So warm and fluffy… After Naofumi buys an expensive holy water from the church, a young soldier calls for him. Guts tell him to run but this has him bump into Motoyasu who immediately attacks him. What now? He claims he made a slave out of some blonde angelic loli and wants her freed! Damn, this guy a lolicon now?! Uh huh. His fetish is blonde angels. I don’t even… Motoyasu continues to attack, causing destruction around. The young soldier stops them because this is a public area but Myne uses her authority to turn this into an official duel. Only to be stopped by Melty! With all the guards bowing down, this girl must have some authority. You mean Melty is Myne’s younger sister???!!! Stop this or she’ll report to mom. Motoyasu tries to be nice to Filo but when he badmouths that fat chicken, I guess Filo has to show him again. Motoyasu realizes they’re both the same as Filo kicks him in the crotch again! No padded armour can save his crown jewels now… Later Melty explains to Naofumi that despite being the second daughter, she is the next in line to the throne since Myne has always been a problematic child. Before she could explain further, Naofumi will not listen anymore. He cannot trust her. Go away.

Episode 10
Melty is ushered away by her guards before she could tell the truth. Her mom the queen knew about the king’s mistreatment on Naofumi. She wanted to admonish him but from what I can see, she is on house arrest and sent Melty on her behalf. That young soldier brings back more of his friends. Inspired by him, they want to join Naofumi and fight alongside him when the next Wave hits. He wants them to bring 150 silver. That’s to build trust, right? With Raphtalia eligible for class upgrade, he tells her to pick a path instead of relying on him. Because once this mission is over, he will return to his world. This makes her worry. As they can only do upgrades near the hourglass, the nun charges a high price. When Naofumi is able to afford, they shift the goalpost that Aultcray has a decree to refuse any upgrades for the shield hero. Hence he goes to see Berocas for this service. He doesn’t offer such service but mentions a few nations that have that hourglass. Shieldfreeden or Siltvelt are most suitable as demi-humans there welcome humans but the journey is long and they won’t have time before the next Wave. Berocas suggests buying weapons for Filo. She gets talons and she tests it out on sewer monsters. Raphtalia talks to Naofumi about wanting to follow him back to his world once this is over. But is interrupted with Filo accuses her of trying to kiss him. End of conversation. Naofumi visits a dilapidated town in the north and the few people are starving. It seems it has gotten worse after Itsuki gathered revolution warriors to overthrow the despot king. Back in the capital, Naofumi sees Itsuki and Ren together. Both seem to think that somebody is impersonating them to get rewards because after they did the job, they couldn’t get it as the rewards is already paid. They accuse Naofumi as the impersonator but he tells them off their actions have caused the rescued towns to be worse off. Like that town Itsuki saved, the revolutionists increased their tax with the excuse to rebuild the country while that rotting dragon corpse Ren did, no reward was paid because the job was cancelled and he had to clean up the mess. If they don’t believe him, go see for themselves. Ren and Itsuki see no reason why Naofumi would lie. The young soldier and his friends have returned with the money. But Naofumi tells them to buy better gear with it so they can fight the next Wave. I guess they’re in.

Episode 11
With the next Wave here, Naofumi and his merry band defend the village from invaders. Who the heck is this granny giving kung fu kicks on the monsters?! She is one of those patients he saved so it makes me wonder if his drug is really that potent. Naofumi goes off to handle the big boss on this flying ghost ship. The other heroes are also there. However they are not cooperating and doing things their own way. Hence the deadlock in trying to spawn the Soul Eater since the enemies keep reviving. Eventually Naofumi spots an oddity in their shadows and strikes it to lure out the Soul Eater. With everyone pitching in to fight it, their attacks seemingly don’t have any effect. Hence Naofumi is going to unleash his cursed shield. He gets engulf in the flames of hatred and hears the voice of the zombie dragon vying for revenge. Naofumi turns into a wild beast to attack the Soul Eater. Filo also gets affected and follows suit. With the rest standing around and in shock at this transformation, Raphtalia chastises them for having so much power but yet they don’t use it to fight and help him. Though, she blames herself for being weak if not otherwise Naofumi won’t be in this situation. Luckily her voice still resonates within him as he returns to normal. Naofumi does an overkill on the Soul Eater with his Iron Maiden piercing ability. Just when the heroes thought everything is over, pops out another Soul Eater. However this one is easily destroyed by the heavenly zaps of Glass. This dark Japanese chick mocks the heroes as weaklings because they’re already having a hard time handling the small fries. She only calls Naofumi as the true hero and begins what is now the true battle of this Wave. So this is like the true hidden boss fight?

Episode 12
Nothing works up the other heroes more when Glass calls them Naofumi’s servants. No matter how much they power up, they couldn’t scratch her. Now it’s Naofumi’s turn to dance with her. He also throws everything he’s got and nothing affects her. So much so she teases him to use his trump card in which he unleashes his Iron Maiden. Still no effect! Is this dark babe on God mode?! Thankfully Naofumi lives up to his name as the shield hero and also withstands her attacks. Glass could have actually won had not she murmured something about the time limit. Yup, the Wave is ending soon. Hence Naofumi uses this last moment to escape. Glass uses her range attack but it is less effective. Time’s up. Glass returns and hopes he would be stronger next time. Otherwise he won’t survive. This signals the end of this round’s Wave. But soon, Naofumi against his will is brought to meet Aultcray who wants to know how he did it. But Naofumi plays hardball. You want to know? Bow and beg before me! This makes Aultcray mad as he threatens Naofumi who threatens back he can kill all of them right now. So leave him alone. If he dares threaten his party members, he will hunt them down and kill them all! After he leaves, Melty confronts her father and notes how things ended on a sour note. It seems he hints his grudge against the shield hero is because letting him and the demi-humans do as they please, he believes he will lose his family again. Myne as usual tries to be a b*tch and convince Melty to stand down. Melty replies back that this is none of her business. Myne trying hard not to let her angry b*tch face show… Naofumi thinks of visiting Shieldfreeden for his servants’ upgrade before the next Wave. So Elhart gives them a few weapons and accessories goodies for their journey. As they rest, Melty confronts them and hopes Naofumi can return to the capital to make amends with her father. Of course he rejects. Then the loli starts throwing a tantrum how stubborn the guys are. Does this run in the family? Like father like daughter? Naofumi suddenly has a bad feeling like as though all this was a setup. Then he spots a guard trying to stab Melty from the back. Luckily Naofumi is quick enough to shield her. Damn, is the guard that stupid to attack so obviously?

Episode 13
Other guards start attacking, claiming Naofumi has taken Melty hostage. But after a while, they retreat. Indeed, the footage that has been recorded and re-edited so as to make them look like bloodthirsty killers. No wonder the guards were acting so lame. This fake footage is then spread to other villages. Hence Naofumi’s party have to camp outside and cannot easily enter villages as they are also heavily guarded. Melty believes Myne is behind the attacks since her elimination would mean she would be the next in line to the throne. That’s why Naofumi suggests she come with them. If she goes back, she’ll get killed. Following him means the least he could do is protect her. Melty tells about her mom the queen and she has a higher authority since the country is matriarchal. They have to start running when guards are on their tail. This time the other heroes have also joined in. When cornered, Myne accuses Naofumi of brainwashing everybody, the reason why Melty and others so willingly follow him. He is ordered to hand over Melty but Naofumi hatches an escape plan. It falls apart but it gets more appalling as Myne tries to kill Melty giving an excuse she attacked first and if her brainwashing is this bad, she’ll have to die. Meanwhile Motoyasu is trying to rape Filo?! WTF?! Ren and Itsuki are in shock that Myne is trying to kill Melty but Myne was so engrossed in focusing on trying to kill Naofumi, she didn’t sense Raphtalia sneaking up and owning her. This allows Naofumi’s party to escape. Later they are approached by this ninja woman who is one of the espionage members called Shadow directly under the queen. She wants Naofumi to see the queen and he’ll get his answers. We slightly distracted with Melty throwing a tantrum at Naofumi until he calls her by her name. Weird. So weird that even Raphtalia feels weird out. Can we move on? Speaking of which, crazy Myne b*tch is now setting the forest on fire…

Episode 14
Has the word spread that Naofumi was the one who started the forest fire. We didn’t start the fire! They arrive in an area whom Melty knows the noble. Seyaette was a kind noble who treated his demi-humans well but he died in the first Wave and all those loyal to him were spread out across the kingdom. This place also brings back bad memories for Raphtalia as she was from this jurisdiction and after the first Wave, soldiers stormed the place and attacked them. Van Reichnott welcomes them and allows them to stay at his place. Though, Naofumi remains sceptical. Next day, they see Reichnott being taken away by guards. The lord of the neighbouring domain, Idol Rabier accused him of hiding them and marched his way in. As a maid hides them, Melty confronts Idol and claims Naofumi abandoned her here and escaped. She wants to return to the capital to talk to her father. After being taken away, Naofumi and co hatch a plan to go rescue her. That night when demi-humans are protesting outside Idol’s mansion, Naofumi uses this chance to sneak in. Meanwhile Idol is trying to force Melty to reveal where Naofumi is. Despite she maintains she doesn’t know, he then beats up Reichnott in hopes this will get psychological on her. When all fails, why the heck does he look like having that rape face and wanting to rape her?! Thankfully our shield hero crashes in to save the day. After Melty is secured, Raphtalia confronts him and even turns the table on him. With Idol begging for his life, Raphtalia is not amused because lots of demi-humans also begged for their lives like this. After all, she was part of the demi-humans whom he rounded up and sold as slaves.

Episode 15
Idol still begs for his life and Raphtalia ponders about killing him until Naofumi asks if doing so will have her closure. Has she not grown stronger only in terms of her sword? Raphtalia recollects herself and despite how much she hates him, will not kill him. Otherwise she is the same as him. Obviously being the typical baddie, he tries to kill her when she lets his guard down but she is fast to defend. Ah, the best way for scumbags to die is to trip and fall out the window. Good riddance. But Raphtalia still needs to confront her past. In the basement where the slaves were kept and tortured, she remembers being forcefully brought here with her other friend, Rafina. Together they suffered but kept each other alive until one day Raphtalia was sold to a slave merchant. Rescuing other demi-human slaves, Raphtalia recognizes another fellow friends, Keel. He doesn’t recognize her at first but after recounting a few incidents together, he remembers. But it is all tears for Raphtalia when she discovers Rafina is reduced to bones. She’s a corpse. Crying over her death, it’s that moment when Raphtalia begins to feel she is useless and weak. And it’s that moment where Naofumi reminds her how she was the one who gave him hope and trust. So in order to avoid others from going through the horrible things like them, they have to protect those who survived. And I guess this weird vision of Raphtalia and Rafina so they could find their closure and move on. When they resurface, it seems that fatty bastard is still alive. He has gone crazy and undone a seal that sealed a monster. So this T-rex is the monster? Fatty thinks he will be blessed by God if he destroys everything but looks like he’s got the devil’s curse. Because T-rex stomps on him. I’m pretty sure no one can survive that. Good riddance for real.

Episode 16
Chicken vs T-rex? The reason the monster is targeting Filo is because both have crystals inside that are resonating. Are they hinting something about T-rex are related to modern day chickens? Naofumi takes his team to lure the monster away from the city. They end up at a lake where they fight it but they’re not making any headway. Naofumi tries to use his cursed mode but a voice tells him not to rely on it. Then the place is surrounded by filolial and the one taking on the monster is the giant filolial queen. She makes it look so easy when she kills it! She transforms into her loli version since we all approve of this cute form that is better for conversations. Introducing herself as Fitoria, she takes them back to her base to talk. But first, Naofumi cooks for everyone. Can’t talk on an empty stomach. Yeah, he has to feed the entire filolial herd too! Damn, this looks like a KFC farm… Finally Naofumi and Fitoria can talk. She is against him relying on his cursed shield despite he views it as his only way to survive. It might give him power now but the consequences will be immense too. Fitoria came to Naofumi’s aid because she heard news of a potential filolial queen candidate. Fitoria might be powerful now but that won’t last forever. She is appalled that the heroes are bickering among each other and not fighting Waves in other countries. So you mean the heroes aren’t aware of this? She thinks the heroes should be talking their differences out as much as they don’t like it. Fitoria views her mission is to protect and save the world from Waves. Despite not liking humans and not caring for them, she is only doing so because the previous hero raised her. It is also the reason why Filo is growing differently from other filolial because of being raised by a hero. Because Naofumi is still stubborn not wanting to patch things up with other heroes, Fitoria has no choice but to kill them.

Episode 17
Fitoria takes Melty hostage in hopes Naofumi would change his mind to reconcile with other heroes. Nope. If she wants to kill him, feel free to do so but he won’t go down without a fight. Let’s see if he can do so when she locks his shield’s properties! Hence Fitoria challenges Filo to a fight. She will disregard all this if she defeats her. As expected, we see Filo getting owned left and right. Fitoria is so powerful that she can even take care of Naofumi trying to sneakily rescue Melty. She uses this to blame Filo as weak. Otherwise why resort to this? She continues to taunt her weak will to protect Naofumi. That’s the cue for Filo to turn stronger as she absorbs mana from the air until she breaks through Fitoria’s shield and just scratch her. Well, I guess she passed. So it is no surprise this was just a scheme to see if Filo is worthy to become her successor. And since she has proven that, here is a crown. And also being the next filolial queen means you grow an ahoge? Don’t mind that since she also gets a considerable stats increase. Fitoria also helps boost Naofumi’s shield attributes by unlocking more branches. Then they have a party to celebrate Filo becoming queen. So Naofumi has to cook more KFC? Damn did he get filolial raped? Later Fitoria talks to Naofumi seriously that she still would have killed him and the other heroes if they won’t continue to cooperate. Since they’re going to die at this rate, might as well kill them off and summon new heroes. She doesn’t know how many Waves will come but there will be a time when the world demands sacrifice from all life. The heroes then must choose what they fight for. Saving the world isn’t the same as saving its people. She casts a spell to help slow his shield’s corruption. You might have guessed Fitoria’s previous hero who raised her was also a shield hero and Naofumi is now sounding a lot like him. Sometimes a queen also needs a gentle pat on her head. Ren and Itsuki are in a cave supposedly housing the legendary weapons of the heroes. However it is empty and they realize too late it’s a trap. Boom!

Episode 18
Naofumi’s party nears the border. Fitoria previously sensed another hero nearby so Naofumi hopes he could talk to Ren or Itsuki to let them pass. Unfortunately it is Motoyasu. He looks mad, attacks Naofumi mercilessly and blames him for the killing Ren and Itsuki! Of course when Naofumi tries to explain, he won’t listen and even thinks his party members are still under his brainwashing. Myne forces both their sides to fight in an enclosed ring. No surprises that Naofumi’s side wins. Filo using all that she has learnt from Fitoria and Raphtalia doing some sneaky combo with Naofumi to get the better of them. Before Naofumi can further talk, Raphtalia senses something strange. All the soldiers that were surrounding them are now gone. Filo also senses something dangerous so she has Naofumi put up layers after layers of shield. And then some gigantic beam hits them. Everyone is okay. Just one big huge crater left behind except for the ground they stood. This kind of devastating power can only be from the pope, Bisca T. Balmus. He views them as sinners and will be purify them in God’s name. But he almost killed Myne who is of the royalty, right? He believes the script goes as they are killed by Naofumi’s side. And now they are just walking corpses. WTF?! Which sci-fi did he pluck that out from?! You know he is starting to be the bad guy when he claims the royalty is nothing but nuisance as the soldiers have already taken over the castle. They have already planned a system of government to take over the royalty. No one can rule the country but them! Is this all God’s will? He further explains the damage done by the heroes despite these weren’t intentional. They thought they were doing the world some good but they are just naïve. Balmus further hints he killed Ren and Itsuki for doing some unnecessary investigation. Oh Motoyasu, you sure look very shocked for a hero. Didn’t see this coming, eh? How could he after being blinded for so long? And now Balmus takes up his sword. Time to receive God’s punishment.

Episode 19
Naofumi manages to block the attack. And that was just a trial run? The sword then changes into a spear. Melty realizes this was a replica that was created and can transform into the 4 weapons. It was rumoured to be lost centuries ago but apparently the church created that lie. If it’s so powerful, why need to summon the heroes then? Because it really sucks up mana from believers. See that long line of believers stretching for miles? It’s draining and also takes time to gather. Motoyasu’s feeble attacks didn’t work but before Balmus could finish them off, Ren and Itsuki return to fight back. The duo were investigating this replica in secret but the church knew they were snooping around and sent them to a fake location to assassinate them. The assassination could have succeeded had Shadow not saved them and they barely escaped it from the skin of their teeth. Now that the church is the one to blame for taking their rewards, credit and framing of Naofumi, Naofumi sure isn’t looking impressed because he had that I-told-you-so look. The heroes want to unite to fight but Naofumi refuses to play along. He is confident his party can survive without their help like they’ve always been. Now the heroes start arguing and pointing fingers but ultimately it is Naofumi who has the last say as he reminds them of the mess they did and the cleaning he did after that. In short, they let their hero status get to their heads and didn’t spare a thought for anybody else, thinking their justice version is right. It won’t be surprising if the people got sick of heroes like them. So in his eyes, they are no different than the pope because they use and abuse people for their own gain. Worst of all, they tried to take things precious to him. Naofumi won’t forgive them but will only cooperate to take Balmus down and also to make good Fitoria’s promise. Are we ready to continue now? Because too much talking and infighting has Balmus licking his lips as he has gathered enough mana to summon the greatest magic power to finish them off.

Episode 20
Mirelia the queen dons her armour and decides to make her move. It’s about time. So decided to wait till the world is on the verge of destruction only to act, huh? Nothing our heroes do could put a scratch on Balmus. Balmus has his followers put in more mana because there is nothing greater than dying as a martyr. With the heroes at their wit’s end, Naofumi’s curse then unlocks. A voice telling him to unleash all his anger and in return he will be given the power to strike back. Naofumi tries to resist but ultimately with the spamming of all the humiliation and disrespect he has been through, he gives in. Only, now his party members manage to talk and calm his heart. Yeah, the journey we had together, blah, blah, blah. Thank you for taking care of me, yada, yada, yada. Because he keeps to himself and doesn’t open up, they have a hard time understanding him. This helps suppress Naofumi’s curse at the expense of them being blighted. With this, Naofumi is like a changed person. He apologizes to the other heroes and seeks their cooperation. Shocking but yeah, people can change. We see all of them pulling off their coordinated combos on Balmus. If you think that will be the end, too bad it isn’t. Because Balmus’ weapon is able to mimic their high level attacks and at this point he uses his high level power to cast a scary illusion on them all. A kaleidoscope of Balmus? That’s scary indeed! Is that all our heroes have to offer? Okay. Queenie, your cue to move in. She freezes Balmus to give the heroes the much needed chance to take this traitorous pope for good. As Naofumi chants his spell, shockingly it backfires as he starts bleeding all over. Balmus won’t have the last laugh because some monster pops up and devours him and breaks his prototype weapon. I guess that’s the end. Devil beats God. With Naofumi looking like he will bleed to death, Mirelia vows to save him. Yeah, couldn’t you have arrive a bit earlier?

Episode 21
With the best treatment from the royal clinic, it took a month for Naofumi to heal. Mirelia explains what has happened. She was on a journey to meet with other nations to discuss about each nation summoning a hero for the Wave. Unfortunately Aultcray went ahead to summon all of them and this angered the other nations. Mirelia has to do damage control, that’s why there was inaction from her for so long. For some reason, Aultcray hated the previous shield hero and the church knew about it and took advantage to manipulate him. In addition to reward him for his heroics, she will also help clear his name and thus tomorrow everyone will be gathered at the royal palace. That night, Naofumi dreams of Aultcray and Myne being executed via guillotine. He doesn’t care for those jerks who deserve what they got but something just doesn’t feel right. In the throne room, all the heroes are summoned before Mirelia. Aultcray and Myne are now criminals and therefore a public trial will be held. In order to make them tell the truth, a temporary slave mark is put on their chest. Not sure if Myne is stupid or just desperate because she continues to lie and deny even though the mark zaps her for lying. Even till the end Aultcray still hates Naofumi and believes he did the right thing trying to rid of him before he ruins the family. At the end of the trial, Mirelia sends them to death and will be executed now. The people are baying for their blood for deception as Naofumi’s weird dream comes true. Myne pleads for Motoyasu to save her but when he abandons her, now she turns to Naofumi. So Naofumi steps in. Killing them would be too easy. After mocking them for who they are, he hereby wants to change their name to Trash and Bitch/Slut and live with it for the rest of their lives. If they refuse, they can die now. And with their lives spared, the queen also abolished the church. Once this charade is over, Naofumi intends to head to Siltvelt instead of staying here. However he will still work with all the nations to fight the Wave. Naofumi’s party is given an honour guard as he leaves. Melty won’t be joining but she learns from mother that she had intended to take her own life to beg Naofumi to spare the executed had Naofumi didn’t stop the execution. Perhaps he saw through her and stopped it. One last big thank you from Melty to Naofumi for bringing her home and saving her family.

Episode 22
With the corrupted church gone, Naofumi is free to upgrade Raphtalia and Filo. However something is preventing them to choose their class. Talking to Mirelia about this, she thinks certain accessories may hinder the upgrade like in Filo’s case, it could be what Fitoria gave her. There is also a party held for the heroes. Actually this is for the heroes to sit down and discuss. Meanwhile Myne, oops I mean Bitch/Slut tries to poison the food but gets busted by Melty. She doesn’t give up, does she? Then a drunkard tries to piss off Raphtalia for her kind as well as badmouth the shield hero so it descends into a free for all. Mirelia tells the heroes of the activation of Cal Mira Archipelago. It only comes once a decade and on this island they can level up greatly before the next Wave. Hence this ‘conference’ is to exchange info. The heroes are reluctant to work together but after Mirelia points out that only Naofumi has a real chance of surviving the next Wave, they relent. Naofumi shockingly learns from them how they could easily power up and copy powerful weapons. Just touch and copy?! That easy? There are loads of other easy skills and this shocks Naofumi since he did it all the hard way. Well, at least you can say Naofumi levelled up because of his own hard effort. Eventually the heroes disagree on the important factor that makes a weapon great. Proficiency? Rarity? Refinement and stats? This farce has Naofumi abruptly leaving the room. Can’t deal with these idiots. Naofumi then tries out this new knowledge at Elhart’s store. Wow. It really works. Copy everything for free! Damn this guy is going out of business!!! I’m sure it’s reassuring he’ll pay him back one day. Before leaving for the archipelago, Raphtalia requests to stop by her village to pay her respects to her parents and fallen brethren. Of course, her insecurities of Naofumi leaving has her bringing up this loneliness issue. Naofumi assures he won’t leave. He can’t leave the world in the fate of those idiotic heroes. How reassuring. I’m sure Naofumi didn’t say to them that he won’t leave until they find their own happiness. Otherwise they won’t find other happiness other than being with him. As they leave on the ship, because it is crowded, they have to share rooms. Naofumi’s party ends up sharing a room with L’Arc Berg and Therese Alexanderite whom they’ve briefly met recently at Raphtalia’s village.

Episode 23
L’Arc doesn’t believe Naofumi is the shield hero because he believes that dude is a demon in human’s clothing. But looking at Naofumi, he isn’t that of a bad guy so he can’t be the shield demon, right? Don’t waste your energy refuting this guy… On the deck, Naofumi sees the other heroes… They’re all seasick?! At Cal Mira, the heroes start farming for XPs but since an island isn’t big enough for all of them to share and hunt, I guess Naofumi can’t be bothered to join in the argument and leaves for another island. Farming XPs must be so good that Naofumi decides to hunt more into the night and camp on the island. However L’Arc and Therese come looking for them and they were worried. Because the boatman didn’t see them return, they thought they were killed. Understanding Naofumi’s desire to level up, even so a good rest is needed. So they head back to the main island where they party with the other heroes. Next day, Naofumi agrees to join L’Arc to hunt together. Raphtalia has finished crafting some jewel item as per requested by Therese and she’s so happy with it. On this island, they start killing… Killer penguins! Therese uses her new jewel spell on Naofumi. It burns away the killer penguins but Naofumi is not even effected and he felt the burden of his curse even lifted from this spell. After defeating the penguin boss and splitting their shares, Naofumi thinks of asking them to join his group when this is over. As they take a break by the beach the next day, Filo discover an underwater ruins. Inside it is an hourglass. This means this place can be attacked by the Wave. Speaking of which, it is in the next 48 hours.

Episode 24
Naofumi returns to report to Mirelia and she wastes no time in gathering a huge army for this Wave. Uhm, wouldn’t the humans be at a disadvantage because you know, monster fish can sink the ships? Apparently there is only a huge swordfish shark monster that can do damage and the rest are, uhm, fish people? Yeah, one of them must be a lolicon and tries to kidnap Melty! She is however saved by L’Arc. Noticing how strong L’Arc is, Naofumi needs his help to defeat the big mother. After luring it out from the waters, L’Arc deals the finishing blow. The heroes are going to get the drop items but L’Arc attacks the other heroes whom he views as weak. His target is Naofumi. So what’s going on? It seems L’Arc and Therese are also heroes like them but of another world. Their world is also on the brink of destruction and that’s why they are fighting towards a goal. L’Arc and Naofumi begin their fight with each other but L’Arc has an ace up his sleeve because he has some attack that deals damage to Naofumi the higher his defence points are. Naofumi also has some tricks up his sleeves. Mind tricks and his team combo. With this fight taking too long (and didn’t you notice the Wave is still ongoing?), Glass then shows up. She is on L’Arc and Therese’s side. She notes Naofumi has gone stronger as he manages to deflect her powerful attack and deal a lot of damage to L’Arc without even resorting to that cursed shield. That’s why she is going to take him down with her own hands.

Episode 25
Noticing that Glass anxiety towards his Soul Eater shield, Naofumi decides to fight her alone while letting the rest of his party take on L’Arc and Therese. Naofumi learns that she is also a hero from her world. A fan hero. She claims she must kill Naofumi and destroy this world or risk hers destroyed. When Naofumi sees a short glimpse of her world fending off the Wave, this makes him question his own motives. Because Glass is fighting so hard to protect her own world, why is he fighting hard to protect a world that isn’t his? Does he care enough for this world to crush Glass’ hopes? In the dying minutes of the Wave, Glass powers up so Naofumi also uses his cursed shield. He views himself as an outsider but this world is all Raphtalia, Filo and Melty got so it is worth to protect. But before he can use his cursed shield, Mirelia has Lecia (from Itsuki’s party) to use her wind magic and splash rum all over? So apparently Glass is weak against this alcohol? Literally can’t hold her glass! Haha! Time is up so L’Arc admits their defeat and takes Glass to retreat. See you again next time. In the aftermath, it seems Lecia is trying to drown herself. She was kicked out by Itsuki’s party after being accused of breaking something she didn’t. Naofumi doesn’t think she is as useless as she claims to be because she helped him a lot during the Wave. Also, is she going to accept this accusation? He can help her grow stronger. So is this his way of letting her join his party? Returning to Melromarc, Mirelia still feels the need to reward Naofumi. Speaking of which… Naofumi soon takes Raphtalia back to her hometown. I guess she is the only one left in the dark because surprise! It’s being rebuilt. Under Mirelia’s orders, Naofumi shall become lord of this domain. Naofumi explains of making this place as his base and a symbol of resistance, recruit more people and build an army. However Raphtalia doesn’t want him to say anything more. She thinks he is doing all this because he is going to leave them. She doesn’t want to live in a world without him. Please don’t go. Please stay. Naofumi makes it clear that he once thought of going home. But thanks to meeting them, he wants to protect this world as a shield hero. Hence this will be their origin. Their starting point. Their home. He hopes she will keep fighting as his sword. Of course. Probably steamy kiss interrupted when they realize everyone is spying on them! Is this how their new story starts?

Do Not Fear But F.E.A.R.: Face Everything And Rise!

So uhm, Naofumi finally has a change of heart and decides to stay? I suppose it is more fun playing the shield hero than being some boring useless otaku back in his world. After all, in the most remote of chances if he ever returns, where would he put to use all the skills he has attained? What a waste. Might as well stay here and write a new story of his legendary heroic feats! All hail Naofumi the greatest shield hero ever! Yeah, at least this puts to rest Raphtalia’s insecurity of him leaving her forever. Happy ending for everybody. Hope he doesn’t bump into Myn- I mean Bitch/Slut. Uh huh. No more episodes for this series means no more having to put up with Bitch/Slut’s antics. It’s a trade-off we have to live with. So yeah, the ending is reasonable. A good happy ending that we probably need after a very rough and dark start for a main character, even if it’s a weak one. There are a few slow parts in the series and it somewhat got a bit draggy with Naofumi still being viewed as a baddie and the final arc of the season on Cal Mira felt a bit rushed but overall it has been a great story.

This series was in danger in falling into that much loathed isekai cliché and tropes when you have your main character being summoned from our world to another world. It was a good thing that they didn’t make Naofumi an overpowered character from the start and because they ostracized his character, this somewhat plays on our emotions that would eventually lead us to support him because he has been mistreated so badly by the people in power and betrayed by those whom he trusted. Therefore when Naofumi somewhat becomes powerful, it is only because through the sheer hard work and effort he put in to become where he is today.

To justify how skilful and powerful he has become today, that is why his character is made to become bitter and distrustful. Look at it this way, if he was still the nice and naïve guy even if the shield hero wasn’t prejudiced against, he wouldn’t have actually put in a lot of serious effort to level up. Only when a man has his back pushed to a corner, he will bite back and challenge his limits. That’s why Naofumi being a truly powerful shield hero is very much justified. And I think that is what makes this isekai series so different from the rest of those ubiquitous and similar titles in the genre. Even though Naofumi looks overpowered towards the end, I wouldn’t consider him as overpowered. Sure, his shield skill tree has so many branches and it looks like he has unlocked a lot of them but there are still certain fights that he struggles with especially during the Waves. So I figure with Glass being so much more powerful than him, it shows that there is still room for him to improve and to remind us that Naofumi isn’t overpowered as we would like to think he is.

Speaking about the Waves, there are still a lot of things about this phenomenon that I don’t really understand. Like as though it is some sort of excuse to setup the plot and the likes. Because if the Waves hit countries that have the hourglass, how many countries are there in this world? And can they actually summon more than just 4 heroes at the same time? Can they summon other classes too other than the usual four? How long has the Waves been going on because it’s not like it just happened two or three editions ago. Did it? And the recent Wave we saw happened over the seas. If the heroes didn’t come to fight it, I mean would it danger any country? Are they just going to kill the marine life if the heroes didn’t show up? Unless the monster fish and fish people start swimming to the nearest island. And how nice of the Waves to let people know the countdown of their next attack so they can prepare and take appropriate action. So everything feels like some sort of game.

With the recent hints of the guardians from the other world, I am theorizing that there is some overseer higher entity who is so bored with its existence that it is sending worlds to fight to the death in mortal combat called Waves. And the world who wins the Waves will eventually get spared. I guess you have more than one try because we see this fantasy world being attacked a few times and even though each time gets stronger, it isn’t over yet. Hence the world Glass and co are from as they mentioned it is on the brink of destruction, the more they fail, the more their world will be destroyed so it’s like they are running out of time to win this Wave and save their world. Yeah, maybe they need to win it once or 10 straight defeats would mean the end of them. Yeah, they could have just tweaked the storyline from Mortal Kombat anyway…

Also, it was never fully explained about the previous shield hero nor what happened to him. Maybe this is saved for later instalments or seasons but it just leaves a confusing taste in my mouth. Because I am ever so eager to know why in the world Aultcray, oops I mean Trash, hates the shield heron the first place? Was it something to do with the previous shield hero whom he blames for ruining his family? Which family? The royal one or before he got married into the royalty, assuming he has that because Melromarc is said to be matriarchal. Even during his trial, he never did fully expand on this grudge of his. But I guess they didn’t want us to sympathise with an old fart who has done our main character wrong. So they leave this part in the dark and let us speculate. After all, trying to take out his grudge on an innocent man who only holds the title he hated is still wrong.

I guess this series has some character development especially for Naofumi and his team but mostly on Naofumi. After all, there is the pitfall of making him a really overpowered character or a very weak ass character and both types do not sit well with viewers. There needs to be some sort of balance so that Naofumi is the kind of character we would support instead of loathed since he is the main character and star of this series. So like I’ve said, having him turned from a naïve otaku into one who has to suddenly grow up and face reality overnight, it might sound harsh but I guess most of us would love to see that kind of character because it gives room to grow and develop. After all, many main characters have some sort of tragic past or need to face some biggest trials in their life in order to get where they are. Eat or be eaten. It’s a dog eat dog world even in this new world. Thankfully even though Naofumi can be considered as aloof, he isn’t as bad as when he started. He could have turned into a villain during those dark days for all we know. We see him trusting his comrades a lot more and opening up when needed. But still he maintains his distance because it would be just a shocker if he suddenly ditches his badass attitude and becomes all nice and glossy. That would make him so wimpy and I think his badass is what attracts his harem. Is this really Naofumi then? But there is still a possibility that Naofumi might become a villain. The final episode scene with Berocas hinting Naofumi is his golden goose to bring him more patrons, I figure Naofumi might turn into a dictator and cause others to rise against him, hence those seeking slaves or selling them for revenge or profit, keeping Berocas’ livelihood pretty much going.

Then there is the case of his cursed shield that is still as mysterious as the Waves I just mentioned. All we know is that it is able to give Naofumi all the power he needs in exchange for his rage and anger, thus losing his mind and turning him into a mindless berserker. But alas, to show that he doesn’t need to be tempted to use this method, that is why the all-important bonds he made with his party members so as to tell us that he isn’t all that lost nor desperate. Like I said, he could have screwed everything and become a villain and destroyed everything but despite how bitter and resentful he has become, thankfully he still has not his humanity so I think that’s why he might not be the nicest or the most pleasant of sugar coated main characters but this also makes him likeable. So the cursed shield ability thingy feels for now it is just lying dormant, waiting for the moment they need to move the plot forward in the future.

Because of Naofumi’s attributes as the shield hero, hence the excuse and reason why he needs to form a party to let others do the offensive and attacking role. Why do they all have to be lolis? Some sort. Well, at least Raphtalia was a loli racoon at one point before they decide not to somewhat turn her mature so it won’t be so obvious the shield hero’s party is a loli party too. Of course Raphtalia has some moments focused on her too since it won’t be right for Naofumi to be hogging all the spotlight by himself. So yeah, Raphtalia coming from a long way as a demi-human, her suffering and fears. Naofumi giving her that second chance was all she needed to turn it around albeit she might take a little time. He could have picked another slave but it was her. Lucky racoon. Raphtalia becoming Naofumi’s sword makes her an indispensable asset to Naofumi. This also tries to set up some sort of romance but it’s just one-sided. Because you know, Naofumi the kind master who teaches her, protects her, how else to get closer and bring their current relationship to the next level but to become a couple? I don’t know when the Waves will end but Raphtalia’s current insecurity being left alone if Naofumi returns to his own world, you bet she is going to try to get closer and snag him to prevent that. And now she can do that without worrying him going home because he has already decided to stay.

Then there is Filo who naturally doesn’t have any back story since she was born while the series is running. That’s why the need for that meeting with the Fitoria so as Filo would have something going for her instead of just being a combat assistance and carriage puller. Now that she is the filolial queen successor, you better show some respect for this loli chicken. She and Raphtalia might be gunning for Naofumi’s love but I say their kind of love for their master are different as Filo feels more like the master-pet relationship. But still, love rivalries nonetheless. And of course so as not to make her as one of Naofumi’s loli party members, hence she is sometimes in her giant fowl form. Last but not least is Melty who feels like a fringe party of the group. Because she is great friends with Filo, it is somewhat an excuse that she considers herself to be part of Naofumi’s party. Although mostly the first part was to escort her back home. Melty completes the party as she has magic attacks albeit not very strong ones but it is better than nothing. With Lecia joining Naofumi’s party in the final episode, I guess I can’t completely say he only recruits lolis into his team. Maybe now he is into retard-cum-joker? Because that is the kind of feel Lecia gives off in the final couple of episodes. Is she supposed to be cute being like that? Kawaii!

The other heroes aren’t anything much. There isn’t much back story on them so as not to take away the focus on the shield hero. Therefore we don’t really put our support fully behind Ren, Itsuki or even Motoyasu for any kind of reason unless you are an obsessed fan of the weapon they are holding. Though their intentions are good, the mess they created that Naofumi had to fix only helps makes us feel the need to vouch for the shield hero. It’s not like they’re the bad guys but we prefer a lot characters who can keep their sh*t together as well as solving problems, right? I keep thinking if Ren was a rip-off from Kirito since they even employ the same seiyuu to be this sword hero. But he isn’t as friendly as you hope he would be like Kirito. Motoyasu is the obnoxious guy whom you would love to hate. Just because this guy thinks he is hot and popular, he thinks what he does is correct. Unfortunately to set him up as Naofumi’s initial main enemy and a character whom we wouldn’t like, I feel Motoyasu has more screen time than Ren and Itsuki. Ren and Itsuki are calmer and more rational unlike Motoyasu who jumps the gun without thinking since he was so bent that Naofumi is the bad guy and trying to add more hot chicks to his party by trying to steal raccoon girl and chicken loli. I guess other people’s girl are hotter than yours, huh? When the rivalry between Naofumi and Motoyasu is gone, Motoyasu is then relegated to the same unimportant focus like Ren and Itsuki.

But I think many would agree with me that the most spiteful character whom you would love to hate is Myne, oops I mean Bitch/Slut. I had my guts ringing like mad like Spider-sense when she first joined Naofumi’s side. There were tell-tale signs here and there that throws suspicions on her character. And true enough, the ultimate betrayal that has viewers alike loathing this b*tch. If that wasn’t enough, it felt like she was really trying to make herself as the number one most hated character in our personal top 10 list by trying to muscle her way around, pick a fight with Naofumi using dumb Motoyasu for her ends but usually end up paying the price for her backfired schemes. If she was really beheaded then, I think most of us wouldn’t have shed a tear and would have cheered instead. But of course to show that Naofumi is merciful (they gave an excuse that death is too easy a way out), that is why she continues to breathe. Too bad she doesn’t learn from her lessons and still tries to get back whenever she can. Like as though the pain from the slave mark gives her pleasure and is some sort of masochist. I mean, does she really think she can actually get away with it! Oh well, you at least have to praise her persistency.

Action wise, I think it is great although not as exhilarating as say, the recent third season of Shingeki No Kyojin. They have a variety of moves and combos in taking down the enemy but I guess it is better than using once and then never used at all. Yeah, I would have complained about that had they do it and now that they have a few varieties, I even complained that I can’t remember those moves or that they aren’t memorable to begin with. Naofumi’s shield skill tree has branched out so much that it feels like those we see him used in battle are just a fraction of it. I assume he has practised in using them all otherwise it feels like he is a pro when he could instantly bring out that specific shield properties. Filo who provides fighting support to Naofumi, it feels like this giant fowl can do almost everything. From flying to kung fu kicks and even recently, she can swim?! Man, she is like the all-purpose vehicle and weapon that everyone dreams of. Naofumi really won big time with that lottery, huh?

Art and animation are decent. Some drop in quality sometimes but nothing that would be of real concern. For a world that is facing gloom and doom, there are quite some livid colours especially the characters like the heroes who sometimes feel like colour coded heroes. Red = Motoyasu. Blue = Ren. Green = Itsuki. And uhm, darker green = Naofumi? Naofumi’s shield has a lot of weird designs seeing that he has levelled up and branched out his shield tremendously. Sometimes I feel it is like there was a design contest to see which of his shield’s design would make the cut. I mean, like how is that Iron Maiden even a type of shield???!!! On a trivial note, does Raphtalia’s design take after Horo from Spice And Wolf? Does this allow Naofumi to circumvent the rules and attack personally? This anime was done by Kinema Citrus who gave us Yuyushiki, Code: Breaker, Barakamon and Made In Abyss.

Voice acting, a few recognizable seiyuus lending their talents like Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as Ren, Jun Fukuyama as L’Arc, Saori Hayami as Therese, Hiroki Yasumoto as Elhart and Kikuko Inoue as Mirelia. The other casts include Kaito Ishikawa as Naofumi (Genos in One Punch Man), Asami Seto as Raphtalia (Chihaya in Chihayafuru), Rina Hidaka as Filo (Last Order in To Aru Majutsu No Index), Maaya Uchida as Melty (Rikka in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai), Sarah Emi Bridcutt as Myne, uhm, I mean Bitch/Slut (Yuzuru in Date A Live), Makoto Takahashi as Motoyasu (Kouta in Majimoji Rurumo), Yoshitaka Yamaya as Itsuki (Sugino in Ansatsu Kyoushitsu), Megumi Han as Glass (Akko in Little Witch Academia), Natsuko Hara as Lecia (Mei in Jashin-chan Dropkick), Sakura Tange as Fitoria (titular character in Card Captor Sakura), Takayuki Sugo as Balmus (Wanyuudou in Jigoku Shoujo), Yutaka Nakano as Aultcray (Ishikawa in Ghost In The Shell) and Kenichi Ogata as Berocas (Genma in Ranma 1/2).

The rock paced first opening theme, Rise by Madkid fits the series like a glove and should have maintained as the only opener. Not to say that the second one, Faith by Madkid sounds bad but adding some hip hop elements to the rock music somehow just doesn’t appeal to me. Both the ending themes are slow rock ballads and sung by Chiai Fujikawa, Kimi No Namae and Atashi Ga Tonari Ni Iru Uchi Ni respectively. Personally I prefer the latter. I didn’t notice the BGMs but when I tried to sample some of its soundtrack, it has over 2.5 hours of music! Of course I couldn’t wait that long to hear them all but from the random samplings I heard, they’re rather okay with a wide variety of styles from the usual medieval style music and orchestra strings to hard rock punk metal ones and creepy eerie/dramatic Gregorian style chanting voices.

Overall, not a bad series and one of the better isekai genres out there despite its dark theme. It’s not that we hate characters who are overpowered and can do everything right from the start, it’s just that we need a reason to justify why we want to support that main character. It’s not like we are sadists wanting to see him struggle and improve through all the sufferings but we can see it brings out the best and worst in a character during those trying times. Naofumi does it not because he is the one who has to wield the shield bur rather he has to. So it doesn’t matter who you are, where you came from or what you have, it is how you make the best and adapt with what you’ve got and this series shows us how to tackle internet trolls without stooping down to their low level and engage them directly! Just ignore them and do your own stuff! Is that not how it seems?! Don’t let them dominate and step over you. Otherwise you would just F.E.A.R. Forget Everything And Run! Or F.E.A.R. F*ck Everything And Regret!

Tejina-senpai

October 19, 2019

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra! Ladies and gentlemen. Get ready for the greatest magician to ever walk the face of the planet in recent history! Let her awe and mesmerize you with her magical tricks. So real that you wouldn’t even believe it after seeing it with your own eyes. People, I present to you Tejina-senpai! Oh… Oh… She blunders and screws up every of her trick! Uhm… So that wasn’t in the script? You mean those bloopers are real and uncalled for? Oh… Oh… But wait! Uhm. Yeah. They look so funny so you might actually not be watching a magic show but a comedy show instead! Aha. Yeah. That must be it! Oh my. She’s flashing her undies unintentionally too? Wait a minute. Is this a strip show too?! Uhm. Erm. Ah… Oh well… Everybody give a big round of applause to Tejina-senpai, the brilliant magician-cum-comedian-cum-flasher all rolled into one! Best show ever definitely.

Episode 1A
In Tanenashi High School, all students are required to join a club. A boy is looking for an easy club when he stumbles into the magic club. He sees Tejina trying to do magic tricks but because she suffers from stage fright (despite just performing alone), she keeps vomiting. She tries to impress him with tricks but he can already see her slip up as she makes excuses for her lameness. Then the ultimate trick of cutting his money in half! Will his money be alright? Snip. Oh sh*t… Oh look, his money somehow transferred into her wallet… I wonder why she’s crying… He is about to leave but she manages to get his attention the next magic trick is bondage. So how will she free herself from this? She can’t. She screws up even further and this sexy BDSM position has him applauding. Best magic trick ever!

Episode 1B
Tejina is doing her magic trick in the school compound. The crowd isn’t impressed. Because he is passing by, she drags him into her show. Yeah, he is now conveniently her Assistant. While she gets ready, Assistant does a few tricks to appease the crowd. They’re a bit impressed and Tejina is more jealous than anything. So Tejina has done her preparations. How will she get out of the box? 10 minutes passed. It is clear to say she has given up. Show’s over. Assistant opens the box to see her in a compromising position.

Episode 1C
It’s already bad enough Tejina hijacks the PA and is calling for Assistant to come to the clubroom right now! Embarrassing. So she wants him to eat her melon bread? Suspicious, he has her eat first. Looks okay. The moment he bites, he feels something hard. There’s a key in it. Surprise! Hence he locks her in the box. Because he is choking, she thinks of using milk. But WTF she wants to do a trick? This is matter of life and death! Hand it over! A struggle ensues causing the milk to spill all over her body. Her clothes are soaked. Best fanservice has him swallow whatever was stuck in his throat. All clear now.

Episode 1D
Tejina brings a pigeon to the clubroom. After explaining why white doves are used, she proceeds to let it out. Don’t worry. She has bonded with it so well that it listens to her. Only, it bites her hand! Then it flies about until Tejina uses bird seeds to calm it down. But instead, it dives straight into her cleavage (I guess the main dish is better) and flies around, tickling her body. Then it pops out from beneath like as though she has given birth. So this is her giving birth magic? Then the pigeon flies out the open window. Come back, Bahamut! Yeah, lost posters of a pigeon. Please help find…

Episode 2A
What a sorry sight to see Tejina eating alone. But must he join her? Yeah, now she is trying to bend spoons. Pretty easy if you know physics. While he excels, she is struggling. Of course the spoon is flung out of her hands. As he goes to get a new one, she realizes some spicy sauce spilled onto his meal. To cover it up, she casts a hypnotizing spell that he will find it spicy. See? It worked, right? Yeah, if it is hypnotism, she shouldn’t find it spicy. Now she is forced to eat the rest of his food.

Episode 2B
Tejina tries to impress with her coin trick but it always slips out and land in some unreachable place. So as she tries to reach for it, she unknowingly shows her ass to him. Because of that, he tries to subtly warn her. Hence they are both talking on different pages. She thinks he means magic trick while he thinks it is about sex. So is she really going to give it to him? Another messed up coin trick as the coin got flicked on his forehead. Ouch.

Episode 2C
Meet Behemoth. Tejina’s critter hand puppet. Sad state of friends, huh? Not sure what this magic trick of Behemoth running through her body is supposed to do but as usual, it’s not impressive. One magic trick has her accidentally dropping Behemoth on the floor and she accidentally stepping over it. It’s ‘dead’. Such a sad day… And she just left it in the classroom instead of taking it back with her.

Episode 2D
It’s such a hot summer. And even hotter when Tejina is already in bondage position. Yup, she screwed up trying to show some magic trick to kids. Luckily they don’t look like they’re corrupted and instead disappointed with this failure. And when Assistant takes over, the kids look to him with more hope! Jealous Tejina takes over again, this time with some clothes changing trick. Since she is taking too long, the kids has Assistant help them with their video game. Oh, Tejina you done? How does she fail this time? She realizes she forgot to bring extra clothes and is completely nude underneath this mantle. Nothing for you kids to see here… And the legend of some cape clad flasher was born…

Episode 2E
Assistant realizes today is the last day to submit his application on which club he is to join. Oh my. Tejina locking the place up! Then tying him up! She even takes the liberty to fill in this magic club on his application form. So this setup is part of her magic trick? Yeah, whatever this lame rubber rabbit trick is. At the end of the day, she hopes they can make a real club with real members and an advisor. You mean, this isn’t even an official club to begin with???!!! Assistant is shocked he has been tricked. This is fraud! Nope, says Tejina. This is magic! WTF?!

Episode 3A
Why is Tejina scared to see the teacher? Because she is her older sister! Quirkiness runs in the family as Onee-chan loves teasing Tejina, much to her dismay. She wants her to show her usual magic tricks and despite so, Onee-chan does her usual teasing. With that, she excitedly wants to be the advisor of her magic club. Tejina disagrees but another teacher reprimands Onee-chan for being noisy and not acting like a teacher.

Episode 3B
Assistant tries some normal tricks with Behemoth but Tejina becomes a harsh armchair critic. Now it’s Tejina’s turn so Assistant notices her zipper is undone. How can he subtly tell her? He says he can see everything but of course she thinks he is referring to her magic tricks and denies he hasn’t yet. As he can’t take his eyes off her flower prints panties, in the end he mentions flowers as the deck suit. Only later in the toilet that Tejina realizes what he meant…

Episode 3C
To help Tejina overcome her stage fright, Assistant reads a few tips from the internet. Drink lots of water. She drank the whole bottle! Now her tummy is aching… How about taking deep breaths? She sounds like giving birth! How about repeating calm phrases to yourself? She fell asleep… Finally, can tickling work? Assistant is conscious about her slim waist and huge boobs. But when she chastises him for being unable to do simple tickling, he tickles her until she cannot even stand! This guy is good with his hands…?

Episode 3D
Tejina is in a kimono as she is going to perform some basic Japanese tricks. The first is making paper butterflies flutter. Of course she fails and Assistant does it better. Next is turning paper into udon. But then she carelessly lights the lighter and the sprinkler activates. Ah, here’s your water magic?

Episode 3E
The duo are in the park. What kind of magic trick is she going to do that doesn’t need her to bring her tools? Yeah, she’s going to use the park’s pigeons! Obviously they attack her. The next trick is to climb up the tree and steal pigeon eggs? Obviously they attack her. Worse, she can’t get down. Assistant leaves her handing. Don’t want anything to do with this egg thief. Bye. To add salt to injury, the pigeons poo all over her. Tejina starts crying but no love lost for this idiot!

Episode 4A
To celebrate a month since Assistant’s joining the club, Tejina does some magic tricks for him. Rope cutting messed up. Even the card message trick is messed up. Then when she forcefully tries to put some ring on him to swear his fealty to the magic club, Onee-chan pops up. Sorry to bring the bad news but the magic club is disapproved due to lack of members. Feel free to join other clubs.

Episode 4B
I guess Assistant will be scouting for new clubs. But for every club he went, Tejina is always there trying to do some failed magic tricks! Is this some sort of conspiracy? Don’t tell me it’s magic! He tries to run from her but unfortunately she runs faster than him! Because of that, the track club wants to recruit her. She does join and even runs in record time. However it’s her ploy to recruit them to join her magic club so Assistant takes her away. Let the girls run…

Episode 4C
To fill the void of Assistant leaving, Tejina has brought not 1 but 2 pigeons! She shows how she can take care of them like misting (also accidentally spraying water all over her boobs) as well as letting them out of their cage to let them fly freely (good luck getting them back in). Because one is male and the other female, Assistant wonders if their cooing will be noisy at night. Tejina is confident since pigeons are diurnal, they won’t. Unfortunately the cooing at night never stopped…

Episode 4D
So sad… It’s Assistant’s last day. And what a way to end this with this sword in the box trick. Of course he isn’t getting in the box. With Tejina playing the role of the assistant, Assistant thrusts the swords into the box. The swords miss her but not with a lot of poking and ambiguous lewd words. My butt hurts! Pull it out! Pull it out!!! Once the show is over, it seems the swords have ripped her clothes. Is this fanservice magical or what?

Episode 4E
OMG. Tejina flawlessly doing all her magic tricks?! No, it’s not a dream! It’s real! The catch? She’s doing them alone. Ah… As she ties herself up for this trick and reminiscing about Assistant, suddenly he pops up. Oh dear. Clumsiness back in order. Assistant joined the chemistry club next door but only in name. Since their room is connected, Assistant can come visit her until she retires. Yay! Don’t have to be lonely now, huh? Chemistry club president, Madara allows this as long as they don’t do shameless things. Tejina is touched and what a way to welcome him back with this unfortunate fanservice because she somehow screws up as her rope trick becomes BDSM.

Episode 5A
Because Assistant heard there will be a few observers coming to see the magic club, he doesn’t want her to do any tricks but to stay hidden! Of course Tejina will not allow that and as he deliberates how his cool image in class will be ruined by being associated with this, Tejina is already practising her head falling off trick. As he tries to stop her, those observers come in and see this horror scene! Run for your life! Bet they’ll never come back.

Episode 5B
Onee-chan and Tejina has come up with an improvised clothes changing magic trick. The clothes she changes into get skimpier but Onee-chan convinces her it is just the fabric that has skin tone. But this is just for the first clothes. Subsequent clothes, we get more Tejina fanservice until she is close to being naked! Assistant can’t be thankful enough for this magic trick!

Episode 5C
When Assistant is with Madara, the silence between them is awkward. Hence Madara decides to show her own magic tricks but using the power of science. I’m sure many of us know the difference in pressure and temperature in a bottle causes the bottle to bend out of shape without any physical contact. Assistant is impressed as he tries his hands at some air current scientific experiment. However he starts off too early and it blows up Madara’s skirt. This only reinforces her idea that the magic club is a perverted club.

Episode 5D
Tejina is hiding in a box and plans to surprise Assistant when he comes in. However when he does, he sits on the box. Noticing how quiet and nice it is without her, he starts to complain all about her bad habits and failure as a magician. Ouch. However he starts confessing the only positive thing about her: While it might seem like a confession to Tejina, it is actually a praise for Behemoth. With Tejina in a dilemma whether or not to pretend she heard this, eventually she pops up and gives a long winded rant on her thoughts. Too bad nobody is here. Wasted breath…

Episode 5E
Assistant is invited to Tejina’s house. He thinks her room would be very girly but nope. What a pig sty. Of course Tejina’s goal of inviting him here is to ascertain that confession of his and to give a proper reply. However each time she tries to say that magic word, she falters and ends up doing some lame magic trick instead. Yeah, confession is a trick that is the hardest to do! She even slips up by showing him all her panties collection instead of her handkerchiefs. That is when she comes clean and admits about that confession. However this annoys him as he tells what really happened. Red faced, poor Tejina is now crying over this embarrassing blunder.

Episode 6A
Assistant is troubled that misunderstanding that Tejina thinks he likes her. Though the only thing she admires about her is her boobs. But an equally busty gal comes in, Saki. She plans to hijack the magic club. Of course Tejina won’t allow it but Saki shows a bit of her street performance to leave her in awe. Saki is a transfer student and she has been looking for a club to join. She heard about the magic club closing down and that’s why she’s here. However she wants to make her little brother, Ma-kun the president of this club. From the way she describes this guy, definitely she’s got brother complex. Don’t get your hopes high on this guy. Because we’ve already known, Ma-kun is a really fat dude…

Episode 6B
While having more members means the club is able to carry on, Tejina feels conflicted because this isn’t the kind of magic club she wanted it to be. Then she just decides to upgrade it by splitting the difference and be the street magic club. Ma-kun tries to do some balloon trick but it popped. Yeah, Saki is so awed and excited over this. Like as though she’s having orgasm at everything he does. Saki then tries this balloon outfit trick. She realizes her skirt slipped out but so as not to let this performance fail, she carries on and lets everyone sees her in her undies. Even Ma-kun apologizes on her behalf.

Episode 6C
Tejina won’t have the street performers beat them and has Assistant do some magic tricks with her. Maybe she just wants to show off… Of course we see her fail at every attempt. Some giving us fanservice, some putting Assistant in a troubling spot. With the women arguing what this club is supposed to be, here comes Onee-chan to solve this dispute. She measures their boobs and Tejina wins because hers is heavier. Though, Saki argues she has the better shape…

Episode 6D
Tejina fails at hypnotism. As expected. She tries to do it in the correct order and even tries to look arrogant doing so but also fails. She is so confident that she lets Assistant do hypnotism on her. You can tell he succeeds when he ‘transfers’ her essence to the bottle. So wherever he tickles the bottle, Tejina feels the ticklish effects on her body. Realizing that she is fully hypnotized, Assistant decides to get back at her for all those tormenting times. Heh… Evil scheming face popping up… Remember to lock the door… He creates a scenario that she is going to take a bath in the hotspring. Hence Tejina starts undressing. But soon, Assistant soon feels guilty about taking advantage of her. By the time he tries to stop her, she is already half undressed. He tries to reason she is a cat and she turns into one and scratches his face. This girl is so easily influenced… He gets this idea to cure her stage fright. You are no longer scared on stage… Although he is successful, however she still flops. Still failing at her magic tricks. Should have cured her failure too…

Episode 7A
Saki burnt her cookies so she thinks of seeking Tejina’s help to remake them. So as they wait, she asks why she is so obsessed with the magic club. Anyway, Saki sounds bored hearing her struggling story to keep the club afloat. Saki wants to test some of her cookies but apparently Tejina has laced with something them for Assistant. So the girls give their respective guys to eat their cookies. As Assistant fears, Tejina is surprised when nothing happens after he eats it. It is Ma-kun who gets it. Yeah, now he is pulling flags out from his mouth.

Episode 7B
Tejina is happy to receive funds for the club. Until she sees its meagre amount… Hence they decide to do some fundraising by doing street performance at the park. Tejina tries to copy some guy doing a human statue. It is hard at first but she likes it when a few kids praises how she doesn’t move. Until she realizes they are actually peeking at her panties! Why you little! Meanwhile Saki and Ma-kun do their balloon art and get quite the crowd. Some give money, some give food. Assistant is impressed with them until he sees Saki throwing away rewards that are useless. Checking back on Tejina, they see an old shady guy trying to give her 50 grand! DON’T ACCEPT THAT MONEY!!!

Episode 7C
Tejina wants to show her underwater magic whereby she will escape her chains underwater. Of course Assistant is very worried for her despite her assurance that she has practised many times with success in her bathtub. Stubborn, she goes ahead but he stops her. While she pouts, Saki fakes a drowning so she can be pulled out and Ma-kun do CPR on her. But he just puts some plastic sheet over her face and let her be. Since Tejina is still sulking, Assistant lets her do it but restricts to just her hands being tied. After a few seconds she is not surfacing. Fearing she might be really drowning, he jumps in to save her. She is upset she would have been done in a few more seconds and Assistant realizes he got his hand over her boobs. Who made the most blunder here?

Episode 7D
Assistant thinks of helping her overcome her stage fright since there are moments where she can pull off her performance with ease. As he records her, she starts getting nervous. Hence he starts from the beginning. Here, perform to this cicada shell… As he ‘upgrades’ her ‘audience’, she finally baulks while performing in front of him despite he is blindfolded. No use crying about this. So Assistant lets he practice before a life sized cardboard cut-out of, uhm, himself? Unknown to Tejina, he is hiding behind it. She performs her magic without screwing up. Assistant is so happy for her that he bursts out from his hiding. Realizing she was being watched, she starts getting anxiety attacks. It is déjà vu all over again because her stress level has peaked until she vomits all over him.

Episode 8A
Assistant thought Tejina is going to show him some sexy Chinese magic. Turns out it is some mask changing technique. Each have their theory on how his trick is done. Especially a guy hidden behind the performer to swap mask. They also experiment with this and one time Tejina was hiding behind Saki but because Saki’s hair is long and thick, this makes it unbreathable for her. Simply she tries to grab and rip her mask but accidentally she rips open her shirt! Oops…

Episode 8B
Tejina tries to impress Assistant with her mentalist magic trick. You know, deciphering what one is thinking based on their facial expressions. After a few lucky guesses, she is full of herself so it is Assistant to return the favour and he easily reads her like a book. Because her actions are so obvious. Please stop! This is embarrassing! And then her stomach growls. No prizes to guess she’s hungry…

Episode 8C
Some farmer gave Tejina lots of mikan. So she’s going to try and do some magic trick with them. Not really some magic trick but more of like some picture pun. Later when she tries to peel them, she gets juice squirted in her eyes.

Episode 8D
Tejina shows off the club’s website. It is so hideous and low quality that sometimes it looks scary! But Saki to the rescue. She gives it a digital makeover but how come it now looks like a shady website?! Assistant blows his top for it to be redone because he fears some pervy old man might mistake this and will hire Tejina to make shady videos! After redoing it and Tejina adding its final touches, it looks even worse and shadier! Assistant just redoes it all again himself. If you want something done, do it yourself.

Episode 8E
Tejina is tasked to perform before kindergarten children. Having stage fright? While she accidentally broke her wand, the kids think it is real and are impressed. This boosts Tejina’s baseless confidence as she proceeds to do more of her simple tricks like some reverse picture (WTF is that drawing anyway?) and the simple disappearing magic of quickly hiding them while the kids are distracted. The impressed kids think she is hiding them in her body and proceed to molest all over her body. Is this considered her greatest success?

Episode 9A
Tejina’s magic trick this time involves everyone writing their wishes in an envelope and she can magically tell whom it belongs too. Of course she rigged it with a mark on the envelope’s corner. The problem: She forgot which corner belongs to whom! Guesswork time. All wrong! Assistant takes over and has everyone writes something they won’t admit. He can easily guess who is who and when it is Tejina’s one, how come it’s blank? She thinks she is a smartass claiming she has nothing to write but this has everyone fed up and leave the room.

Episode 9B
Tejina and Saki are taking a remedial exam. While waiting for the teacher, Tejina thinks of showing Saki some magic trick with this number game and trapping her with it. Unfortunately Tejina loses and begs for another chance. Saki knows how to circumvent this trick just by looking at Tejina’s reaction. Just when Tejina thinks she has won, she does an air punch but holy cow, she punched the teacher!!! I guess she’s not coming into the club today.

Episode 9C
Tejina trolls everyone by bringing an ice cream box. It sounds like it has something but it’s empty instead. Everyone so annoyed with the heat already that they force her to buy them real ice cream. She tries to make her ice cream spoon disappear but she drops it instead. Now must she eat ice cream with her hand? With Saki complaining about doing summer-like things like going to the beach, Assistant watches Tejina’s obvious eager body reaction despite her words sound like she’s doing them all a favour. Yup, to the beach then.

Episode 9D
But first everyone goes to buy a swimsuit. Yeah, I guess there is only a reason why the guys accompany the girls to do so. With Tejina asking Assistant for his opinion, this guy is in a dilemma. He really wants to see her in some naughty swimsuit but fears he sound hard up for it. Hence Ma-kun teaches him some psychological tricks albeit they sound like fraud. With Assistant still whining about it, Ma-kun just takes the sexy swimsuit and gives it to Tejina. Actually it is Saki who wears it and while it may be good news for Assistant, I guess Ma-kun didn’t appreciate seeing his sister like that. Because Saki now thinks little bro wants her in this. And somehow Tejina messed up and wore her swimsuit backwards… Later Tejina thinks the changing room is like a magic set. She thinks of tricking Assistant by shifting her shoes to the next cubicle. When she calls him, he will be shocked to find her cubicle is empty and thinks she has disappeared. Unfortunately the store clerk returns the shoes to Tejina’s cubicle seeing she noticed nobody is in that cubicle. So when Tejina calls for Assistant, he opens the curtains only to see a sexy Tejina in her undies. Tejina, you looking shock for a person setting up this magic trick. Personally if you ask me, I think this magic trick works! Thanks, senpai!

Episode 10A
Beach episode! Since the girls are full of energy, they swim out to sea while the lacklustre guys stay on the beach and play their handheld. The current is too strong and washes away their top. Tejina has magic sand that will serve as temporary bra when mixed with water. However it dissolves the moment it is out of water. Don’t fear. Saki has some balloons. So they wear them as a body suit until they get to land. But as they approach the boys, they step on something sharp. Pop! Free fanservice today?

Episode 10B
Assistant sees Madara observing a crab. She gets embarrassed after she notices him. Apparently her grandma lives nearby. Then she has him lie down on his stomach. No, nothing naughty is going to happen. This is to watch the sunset. When the sun has sunk over the horizon, then she has him stand up. There is still sunset. Yeah, the magic of science that explains why the Earth is round that would piss off many flat Earth believers. When he points out to her swimsuit that would probably feel cold once night falls, she gets embarrassed and runs away.

Episode 10C
Assistant invites Madara to split the watermelon with the rest. Ma-kun goes first but Saki leads him to a different ‘watermelon’. Yeah, sleep in her boobs! Ma-kun then buries her in the sand and lets another takeover. It’s Madara’s turn so she explains some secret trick to smash it. Unfortunately she has poor sense of direction so she fails. Finally it is Tejina’s turn. Too bad this girl is so panicky that she accidentally smacks everyone with the stick. You can imagine how frightened Saki is when it’s her turn… Oh sh*t… In the end, it’s total annihilation. Except the watermelon still intact.

Episode 10D
Time to play the fireworks and Assistant won’t let Tejina do any tricks, knowing better that Tejina and fire don’t go together. She burnt down the club once, you know. Then she tries to do some money switching burning trick. She uses the flames as distraction and the darkness to conceal her trick. Too bad she screws up and burns the real money instead… She tries to do the same trick with the flash paper. But the fire got bigger instead and she accidentally throws it to their pile of fireworks. Wow. Now the fireworks are all lit! After managing to put it all out, I guess it’s time to console this poor loser girl. Everything isn’t lost as Madara has some leftover sparklers from grandma. The magic moment of Tejina commenting how times like these make them closer, sputter out because her sparkler burns out and drops on her feet. Ouch!

Episode 11A
Tejina is trying some disappearing balls trick that won’t work. I guess Assistant has to hear her out. Typically, her sweaty palms is part of the problem. She then thinks it is because her hands are small. Shouldn’t she get smaller balls then? She puts her hand on Assistant’s to compare. He compliments them and thinks they don’t need to be the same size. However he realizes her palm is sweaty and retracts everything. Quick wash those stickiness off!

Episode 11B
Assistant walks into the clubroom to see Saki ‘dead’. Apparently she sniffed on Ma-kun’s garbage and he caught her red-handed. Now he won’t talk to her. Yeah, a death sentence. To alleviate some of the gloom, Saki has a hand puppet of Ma-kun and explains how ventriloquism works. She has Assistant do ventriloquism on her Ma-kun hand puppet but gets annoyed when he says the wrong thing. But to thank him, she trolls him by preparing to give him a kiss. It’s just a hand puppet of Tejina! He can have it. After she leaves, Assistant peaks underneath the hand puppet’s skirt. White…

Episode 11C
Assistant is shocked when Ma-kun asks if Tejina has a boyfriend. You mean he is interested?! Actually, he saw her with another man another day. Although Assistant brushes it off, they all go tail her. At the family restaurant, they see her practising her failed magic trick and eat cakes by herself before rushing to the toilet in the convenience store. Nothing happens for half a day until this man, Mimura shows up. Assistant looking pretty worried. Real tailing begins. Ma-kun tries to analyse this dude. So he is some sort of porn director? They head to the mall and because they talk in ambiguous language like as though they are preparing for a porn shoot, Assistant is trying real hard to keep himself from going berserk. Especially when they hit the lingerie store! In the end, Assistant can’t take any more of this and tries to rescue her. It is revealed Mimura is Onee-chan’s husband and Tejina was helping him to shop for a birthday gift. Wow. What a big relief. Right, Assistant? Yeah, Mimura is actually a pretty nice guy. When Tejina hears what happened, she laughs it off. Assistant feels this is somehow scary.

Episode 12A
Assistant hears ambiguous sex porn coming from the clubroom. Of course as you would expect, it is just Saki teaching how to make balloon art. Since it is quite hard, Tejina is having fears twisting it. She somewhat gives up and her balloon turns out to look like a dick?! Eventually when she manages to do so, it pops and all that is left of her doggie balloon is now a cod roe. So sad…

Episode 12B
Tejina thinks of showing Assistant this shackle escaping trick. But after hiding behind the curtains and having not come out, Assistant takes a peep and behold! She’s not there? Is this a disappearing trick too? Actually she is hiding inside the closet and this is part of her plan to surprise him. However the locker is stuck and he already left. So you mean she is stuck in there for the entire day because come night fall as the guard comes in to inspect, the locker somehow opens and gives him a fright of his life! Woah! Who this sleeping babe?!

Episode 12C
Madara shows Assistant the power of science of freezing cola. Tejina feels a bit jealous he is having fun talking with her. This makes her wonder if he has been attending secret science meetings or something. Assistant tries to save Madara from something drop on her. As he falls on top of her, this gives Tejina the wrong idea. So now Tejina wants to impress by showing her magic? You could have guessed her cloth pulling trick fails. Now she’s all wet. Madara has them dry up using the fan. So cooling. Power of science rules. She is proud that they are praising science but soon Saki and Ma-kun shows up and Madara feels they have overstayed their welcome. Can you guys leave now?

Episode 12D
As Assistant is sleeping, Tejina thinks of doing some quiet magic trick. Can she? Because she almost flops doing her pigeon trick. Are the pigeons being horny today as they try to put her in ecchi situations? Luckily Assistant is still asleep so Tejina continues stacking cards on him. It is revealed he is pretending to be asleep and now he is in a lurch.

Episode 12E
Tejina’s to fight her stage fright, she wears a revealing bunny suit to be more embarrassed! But yeah, thanks. Because of her cleavage showing, Assistant can’t take his eyes of her boobs and didn’t see her magic tricks well. I guess you can say this is the basic of how magic tricks work, eh? Because of that, Tejina looks successful. See that great cup trick? Yup. Those are great cups alright! Truly amazing! Bravo!

Fanservice Senpai: The Magic Of Fanservice!
There you have it people. That’s all folks. That’s all the magic fanservice tricks we have for you today. Be sure to come back again next season for more amazing boobs magic tricks. Uhm… What’s that you say? You mean this series is cancelled and won’t be getting another season???!!! At least not in the foreseeable future?! Like WTF?! You mean those boobs didn’t do the trick?! Damn. It felt a bit weird that there is no ‘wrapping up’ episode and the last episode just felt like any other normal episode so I thought there’s going to be more. Yeah, I was wrong. I don’t know where I get that idea but I can understand and feel it is more or less the same how Tejina gets her baseless confidence from.

Basically with no real storyline to begin with and even each short episode is furthermore divided into short skits, this series’ comedic moments mostly deals with around the flaws of the characters. So you either love it or hate it that there is all to this series. Surely you’re not going to expect some sort of complicated story and back story, aren’t you? Just like a magician’s desire to entertain us, that is what this series is precisely set to do. No convoluted and twisted plots whatsoever. What you see is what you get. When show is over, you leave with a satisfied feeling of being entertained. So for me, they did that part well and with some skits only lasting a few minutes long, it does enough to deliver the punch line and the joke. Usually with Tejina flopping.

Tejina is probably one of those people who could have been good in doing something they love had not been that one little thing that prevents them from achieving such greatness. It might look funny that she suffers from stage fright seeing that she wants to be a magician, but remember, public speaking is the top phobia in the world. It’s like saying you want to be a doctor but scared of seeing blood. Nothing new or surprising but rather ironic. But the most important aspect is how Tejina doesn’t give up and I guess you have to give her credit for that. Again, there is only so much credit you can give her until she starts becoming annoying. An ‘A’ for effort and trying but don’t go overboard. Given an inch, take a mile…

Because Tejina is also a bit naïve, this also plays a part in why she gives us a lot of fanservice. Yes, people. It is like as though all her backfired magic tricks are supposed to lead to some fanservice. Or maybe they’re not planned and it serves as a backup. What I mean is that if you’re not impressed with Tejina flopping on the simplest magic tricks, at least we have some sort of consolation of her getting entangled in a fanservice situation. She’s probably hard up and would do anything to wow some audience that if Assistant wasn’t there to look out for her, she would have ended up in some shady porn shoot! I wonder if there is a secret DVD title, Porn-senpai… This one would definitely be magical!!! After all, she wants people to watch her, right? Sex sells, right? Voila!

We’d love to see the love prospects between Tejina and Assistant but if they do become a couple it will still be weird and more or less the same thing. There are lots of hints to see why the duo like each other like why Tejina keeps performing and flopping before Assistant is not because she thinks he is interested in her tricks but rather he is the only one around who would pay attention to them no matter how much they stinks. Assistant might give this lame excuse to accompany her lonely club till she graduates but we can see through the reasons why he sticks around. No, not waiting for the moment where he gets to touch her boobs or see her pantsu. Those are bonus points in which I believe he enjoys a lot too but I’m assuming nobody in class gives him much attention like Tejina does. She might be annoying bugging him to show him her tricks but at least she is HIS annoyance! So there you have it. A magician and her assistant with no audience to entertain have at least themselves to entertain. Hence Assistant’s role here is to play more of the straight man to Tejina’s foul ups. Definitely living up to his (nick)namesake. They could be a manzai comedy duo if they get bored of this magician thingy.

The rest of the other characters, I guess they are okay. It gives a little variety because we’ll be bored in seeing just Tejina and Assistant all the time. Hence the odd sibling pair of Saki and Ma-kun with the former with brother complex and the latter trying to look smart by being a mentalist but more often fails too. Technically the duo have better skills in their street balloon art than Tejina. But it’s the only trick I see them do although they excel at it. So is a one trick pony better than jack of all trades who flops hard? Last but not least is Madara who feels like a fringe character. She makes very limited appearance (only to be outdone by Onee-chan) and I thought she would at least be a regular like Saki and Ma-kun. But I guess magic and science don’t mix so can’t have science girl stealing away Assistant’s heart with science because dumb magic bloopers are better, no? And WTF is her fashion sense of wearing black tights under a lab coat? Is this her fanservice to us?

At and animation are okay. Nothing to really shout about and sometimes with all the bright visuals and hues as well as the character designs, it might look a bit cartoonish. Like Assistant with his droopy eyes somehow keep reminding me of that Droopy the dog cartoon character. And Ma-kun being so plum and chubby that he looks like he came out from a cartoon rather than anime. And does Tejina have fangs? For some reason, Tejina reminds me of Dagashi Kashi’s Hotaru. Just a lot dumber. Tejina and Saki’s boobs are so big that it looks like as though they stuck compressed balloons there. This series is produced by Lidenfilms who did Koi To Uso, Yamada And The Seven Witches, Kishuku Gakkou No Juliet and Hanebado.

For the voice acting, I only recognized Eri Kitamura as Saki. Her character might not be a totally b*tch character but I guess my stereotypic views of Eri Kitamura playing b*tch girls and ganguro type gals suit her voice perfectly. Kaede Hondo is the voice of Tejina (Sakura in Zombie Land Saga). While she does sound good as her character but I thought it would be ultimately perfect if Kana Hanazawa had been the one who helmed this role. At some points I think my head started envisioning and hearing Kana Hanazawa behind this character. Yeah, it would have been so epic for her to be in this role. The other casts are Aoi Ichikawa as Assistant (Eita in Just Because), Daisuke Namikawa as Ma-kun (Rock in Black Lagoon), Rie Takahashi as Madara (Emilia in Re: Zero Kara Hajimaru Isekai Seikatsu) and Himika Akaneya as Onee-chan (Yatsumura in Mahou Shoujo Site). The opening theme, Fantastic Illusion by Iris sounds weird. At least it starts off weird. Like Tejina. Before it becomes a generic idol pop piece. I somewhat prefer the ending theme, Dame Wa Dame by Minori Suzuki. It has this sultry and fanatic pace to it. Somewhat reflecting Tejina’s life, huh?

Overall, not the greatest magician in the world no mind blowing magic tricks were shown or explained, not the greatest comedy of the season because the jokes may look cheap and certainly not the greatest ecchi of the year because they feel forced and cliché for the jokes to be told. Not great fapping material but still good if you have nothing else. Just like Tejina’s magic, this series might miss the mark in a lot of areas but if you are not picky and a simpleton (like yours truly), you are sure to be entertained. And then a better show comes next season and you’ll forget all about this one. It would be magic and a miracle if this series gets another season. It’s the only way to keep the ‘magic’ alive, right? But I have seen all the tricks in her hand and up her sleeves as well as the way she thinks, I won’t be surprised any more. Time to drop in yet another magical fanservice. Yeah, it’s one trick that many of us won’t ever get tired of.

Sounan Desu Ka

October 18, 2019

How good are your basic survival skills? Zero? Well. Same here. I suppose we have been so reliant and dependant on technology that now we take the basics of survival for granted. Sure, we think those YouTube videos and the internet can help when we’re stranded but let’s just hope the uninhabited island has some strong internet connection to begin with! But don’t worry. Not all is lost. In the very most remote of chances you think you might find yourself stranded on an island, perhaps watching Sounan Desu Ka beforehand might do the trick. I hope. A group of girls has been shipwrecked on a deserted island and are forced to do whatever they can to survive. From collecting water and catching food, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Not the paradise kind of private beach island life they’re hoping for.

Episode 1
A plane crashes. It seems only Asuka Suzumori, Mutsu Amatani, Shion Kujou and Homare Onishima survive and are stranded on a rock. Only Homare has survival skills since her dad taught her before and they often got stranded on trips around the world. So this is no stranger to her. As we can see, Homare puts her survival skills to good use. Like catching a flying fish, beating it up while wrapping it in her shirt and then squeezing it to drink its blood as liquid! I think the rest will pass. Still thirsty? Homare offers a ‘fresher’ alternative of peeing in your mouth! They continue waiting and still no sign of rescue. Next morning, an island across is visible. They start swimming. Getting exhausted? Nothing moves you faster when you see shark coming! Luckily Homare throws an old handphone battery that has the shark turn around due to its sensitive nose. With Mutsu feeling a bit dizzy, Homare believes their best action now is to find water. She explains several methods but it either takes too long or they don’t have the equipment. It’s not going to rain either. Hence their only option is to find a water source. With Mutsu’s mouth feeling dry and she can’t produce saliva either, Mutsu kisses her to transfer some of hers! Eww! Worse, Homare just ate a flying locust and its leg got stuck in that kiss. Mutsu’s first kiss… A taste of locust…

Episode 2
Homare and Asuka head into the jungles to find the water source. Ironically, Asuka being the athletic one, she tires out and is complaining? I guess she wasn’t really trained for this kind of environment, huh? But soon, Asuka starts to get dizzy. Homare hurriedly digs for water on a soil that is damp and lets her drink. Best water ever! Until she realizes she is drinking this ‘filtered water’ from Homare’s sock! Meanwhile Shion tries to find something for Mutsu to rest. She stumbles into this coconut. Mutsu gets the hint she wants to be praised for her efforts. It took some effort to break it open and from what I can see, Shion drank it all. So to make it up for her, if she pees, she wants Mutsu to drink it? Not outrageous but I don’t think the girls have gone crazy being stranded… They are given a respite when it rains. With their water source secured, the next step is to build a shelter. But since the rest are complaining about being tired and hungry, Homare goes hunting. She caught some cicadas, sea urchin, seaweed and some mysterious jar. Rock-scissors-paper to see who gets what. Shion gets the sea urchin and Mutsu gets the seaweed. Asuka thought it is some jam in this jar but whatever it is, it’s expired. Tastes bad… Homare is willing to share the cicadas. Did you lose your appetite after seeing he decapitate it? Tastes like shrimp? But Asuka passes since Mutsu shares her seaweed. With night fall, they have to sleep in the open. That’s why Homare told them the importance of making a shelter. But I guess sleeping underneath the open sky isn’t too bad either. The girls are surprised that Homare can instantly fall asleep. Well, she’s done a lot for you girls today.

Episode 3
It’s one thing being tired. It’s also one thing to be useless. But it’s totally another thing to throw a tantrum just because you are hungry and wanting Homare to get some food. Oh Asuka, you looking like a spoilt brat. Luckily for her, Homare intends to head into the jungles to find more vines so Asuka tags along under the pretence to help but also to look for food. When Asuka pulls out some sort of potato from the ground, Homare doesn’t think it is a good idea to eat it. Bugs are okay and not potatoes? Hence Homare employs a patch test to see if it’s edible. By rubbing the thing on your body to see if it has any sort of reaction. She rubs it on Asuka’s ass. Suddenly she feels numb. Definitely poison… She is still scared of eating cicadas but once she gets the hang of it, yeah it tastes like shrimp. Shion hopes they could build a shower next since hygiene is important. Don’t want to have those rescue workers think they stink? Homare builds one but it is out on the open. Hey, at least nobody else is watching on this uninhabited island. Works fine until they broke the mechanism. Homare takes Mutsu to hunt for shellfish. Mutsu thought hermit crabs are inedible but on the contrary, Homare demonstrates by ripping off its shell and devouring this ‘delicacy’! They have caught a few shellfishes so Homare demonstrates how to start a fire and use the sun and rock to make it like an iron plate. Shellfish tastes so good that they can’t stop this ‘buffet’. Don’t worry, if you still have stomach for more, here are hermit crabs. Bon appetite!

Episode 4
Once you try it, you’re sure to love it! See? Hermit crabs tastes good to. Uh huh. Tastes like shrimp… But will this be enough? Don’t worry, Homare believes it is time for them to catch a real animal for its meat. Uh oh. Real survival begins… Based on the footprints, she believes there are squirrels nearby. Hence she explains some of the traps they will be making to catch one. When a toad pops up, Asuka uses her skirt to catch it. Careful not to touch some of its skin as it contains poison. Because Homare says they can only eat its legs and to leave the rest behind, Asuka gets worried. You mean she has to kill this little guy? Like, how? Oh sh*t… Thus she pretends to slip up and let it escape. No frog meat tonight… Homare so disappointed… Homare then spots a burrow. It is believed to be European rabbits and hence they will be changing their target to them. She creates a snare trap and to see whether it works, Asuka volunteers to be bait. Works like a charm. Why does it look like she wants to flash her (rabbit print) panties? As Mutsu and Asuka set up similar traps near other burrows, Mutsu notices a branch too high to be placed for their trap. Therefore she improves and uses a log as a counterweight. They fear it might not be as speedy as the original so Asuka tests it and it works perfectly.

Episode 5
So Shion is b*tching that the catch will have to wait for a few days, they have to eat the same shells and hermit crabs again? Homare thinks up fast that she’ll go collect some turban shells and this delights Shion since she loves eating them. Homare and Asuka dive in to catch some but they didn’t find any. So what did Homare bring back? Starfish! Oh Shion, you still not happy? Until she realizes some bruises on Homare’s hands that Asuka explains she tried to get some oyster but its shell was hard and she accidentally scraped it. Shion realizes her selfishness and eats the starfish. Better than any turban shell! Yeah, be prepared because that’s the menu for tomorrow too as Homare catches more! When the gang goes to check on the trap, looks like everything is still in place. Then they see smoke from the beach. Alerted, they think it’s some rescuer. But when they return, they see Shion in a daze. She thought she saw a ship. She starts crying and apologizing. Keep it strong, girls. Can’t have a domino effect of everyone breaking down. Next morning when Homare asks Shion to come with her, the latter thought she is going to be punished. But Homare takes her to a place where there is low tide now. They dig up wrasse fish that buried themselves in the sand while they sleep. That night they have a mini celebration. Got to have some fun sometimes, right? Here’s to their safety and health. Next day, Asuka and Mutsu check on the trap. Looks like something is caught in it… It’s still moving so the thought of killing it swiftly lingers…

Episode 6
Indeed there is a rabbit caught in the trap. Can’t call for Homare or it might run away. Mutsu offers to kill it. WTF?! How could she miss hitting its head at this distance?! I know she isn’t athletic but the way this plays out, like as though the rabbit is making a fool out of her! WTF Mutsu giving up and crying?! Truly the rabbit has taken her for a ride. So Asuka sums up her courage and does the honours. Relaying the good news, Homare now explains how to remove their organs but first they need to create a knife using a stone. Mutsu wants to try skinning it to make up for her failure. Hang in there. Let’s hope this bloody mess doesn’t traumatize her even when Homare is guiding her. Yeah, biology class wasn’t like this… On how to cook the meat, Shion has an idea of some French dish she once experienced, lievre. Well, with some improvisations, they can make something close to it. After deboning it, they wrap it in some plant leaf, cover them with rocks and twigs to grill them. And of course when it’s done, it is the best meat they’ve eaten ever since. How does it taste like? WTF tastes like chicken?! Shouldn’t rabbits taste like rabbits?

Episode 7
Homare thinks of exploring the island but only needs one of them to accompany her. Hence it becomes a ‘battle’ to be picked. Choose me! In the end, Mutsu is chosen and this leaves the rest devastated. After exploring for a while, they stumble into a dock. Excited at first, Homare examines it and realizes it has been abandoned a long time. For now, they make camp. Mutsu asks why she was chosen and to her surprise, Homare views her as most suited for survival as she has a deliberate nature and adapts quickly. So to say the others aren’t so fit for survival and are going to die? Then they hear rustling in the leaves. Turns out Asuka and Shion followed them. Can’t leave mommy behind, can they? They make a bed using a net. A bit cramp but it’s all they’ve got. They think of naming this island but definitely reject Mutsu’s idea of using their initials because it sounds like ahomushi (idiot). Next day, they continue exploring the island and while Asuka finds pears, Shion claims she has found a house! Well… A dilapidated house. Homare explores it and is excited to find a broken pair of shears. The rest cannot understand why she is so happy so she spells out how its metal parts can be modified into a knife. Makes survival a whole lot easier. Then they climb to the highest point to get a feel of the island. Well bad news, water, water everywhere. But something catches Homare’s eyes. There’s smoke nearby…

Episode 8
Calling out if anybody is there… No response. When they head down to the spot, the smoke is actually vapour from the hotspring! Quit wasting time analysing about somebody was here building these unnatural formation of the rocks so as to make the hotspring because it’s time to soak in and have fun! Not sure if the rocks or water is illuminating because we can sure see the naked girls clearly! Of course, important parts strategically blocked off… When the water temperature gets warmer, they realize something is wrong. Too late as the waves engulf them. Luckily they are washed ashore as Homare theorizes this area is only visible during low tides. Later Homare wants to go down a narrow chasm because there are thick ropes there. This spot was once used to anchor boats. Testing the water depths and all, she finally jumps in to grab the rope. Then she uses the chimney style movement to climb her way out. When it starts raining, the girls quickly rush back to camp. Because of the heavy downpour, their tent couldn’t do anything and the fire is put out. Asuka tries to maintain optimism by heading to sea to find something since she is already wet. Suddenly lightning strikes the far end of the ocean and she got electric shock! Thank goodness she is still alive. With the heavy thunder and lightning, the girls wonder if they should move into the forest but Homare points out it is more dangerous as the lightning could strike a tree. The solution is to build a 4m lightning rod and take shelter at precisely 45 degrees away. While Homare builds it, the girls are on the verge of breakdown from the incessant flashes. But thankfully the storm is gone. Asuka thinks of dipping into the sea again but why did she get electric shock again? Jellyfish. Ah… Homare applies sea water to relief some of the pain. Shion and Mutsu realizes how everyone has got it hard and promise to use this as a lesson to be mindful and not to make life already harder than it is.

Episode 9
Homare is excited as she manages to finish creating a couple of knives. Because of the UV, Asuka’s skin is peeling so they ask Homare if there is any natural sunblock lotion. As she was just finishing hunting squid, squid ink provides excellent sunblock. Unfortunately it is only enough for 1 person so Mutsu won the bet and got it. But don’t despair, Homare grinds the seaweed for its mucus and it might not be as effective as squid ink, it’s still better than nothing. Shion accidentally drops and splashes it all over Homare. Asuka doesn’t want it to go to waste and starts rubbing her body against hers. Our yuri fanservice for this episode. With Shion pouting that she is left out, Homare hands her dried squid liver. Not as effective either but still, better than nothing. Too bad it stinks like hell! When Mutsu got bitten by a horsefly, Homare treats it with sap from dandelion. Shion and Asuka argue to make a hammock or a drying rack. In the end, because embarrassment is next to nothing in nature, they made a hammock instead. At least they can sleep easy. With all the stinking business, Shion wonders if making perfume is possible. I think Homare didn’t mean anything bad because she says at this point all of them stinks! It just means their smell got used to the bad odour over time. When the girls praise Homare for her great survival skills, it Homare attributes them all to her father so the girls think she has daddy complex.

Episode 10
Homare makes a raft with bamboos to help transport heavy stuffs. When Shion is lazing around, a bee ‘visits’ her. This scares the hell out of her but Homare realizes this means there must be a hive nearby. She tracks the hive to a dilapidating log. I don’t think she is trying to scare the girls about people dying from bee stings but hey, no pain no gain, right?! First, Homare uses a makeshift torch to smoke out the bees. Then they lie low so as not to provoke it. You think the bees aren’t mad after their hive has been set on fire? Once the timing is right (don’t want the honey to melt), Homare goes in to cut them. With the bees still buzzing around, the other girls get scared but Shion sums up her courage after seeing some mild bee stings on Homare and helps to take the honey. In the end, you can say it is sweet victory. Next day, Homare and Asuka return from fishing. Shion insists she wants to go fishing too. As she cannot dive, Homare lets her fish from atop a raft. After a while, Homare realizes the current has been gaining speed. To her dismay, Shion is nowhere to be seen. Even getting on top a high rock, screaming her name, there is no sign of Shion anywhere. Oh no. Truly lost? Shion has been so engrossed in fishing that she didn’t know she has been drifted far out to sea.

Episode 11
When the rest finds out that Shion has been drifted, Asuka becomes upset. How can Homare lose her when she was supposed to be with her? Hey, even monkeys something fall off trees. But Homare isn’t giving up yet so she has them help her build a raft. She can still catch up and find Shion before sunset. Homare remembers papa’s words to always think about her own safety despite having others around. Because this might put others at risk too. But Homare isn’t going to let that lesson lose a life of a friend. At this point Shion realizes she is lost. She can’t panic and cry. Got to save those moistures. She spots an island ahead but when she lands, it is just some big rock with no life. She tries to stay calm but at this point she is feeling dehydrated and negativism is setting in. Meanwhile Homare fears she might have passed Shion. Due to her limited vision of the horizon, she remembers daddy’s method on how to measure height without any tools. So this high jump acrobat move has her spot that rock island. And in good time she finds Shion cowering underneath the shade of a rock. Shion starts crying. Uhm, is it a good time to waste moistures? And she’s complaining Homare took so long?! Jokes aside, it’s time to go ‘home’.

Episode 12
In her haste to go rescue Shion, Homare forgot to bring any water. At this rate they will dehydrate before they get back. Shion mentions about a cave she found. However as Homare examines, despite having fresh rainwater, it is contaminated with bat dung. Drink it and you’ll get sick! However she has an idea as they prepare their raft back. As they paddle back, it seems the water with bat dung is left out to dry in hopes the UV will somewhat sterilize it a little. As they are really dehydrating, they still can use this contaminated water. As the colon absorbs water and they can drink it without going through their mouths. Have you guessed it? Through your anus!!! Not joking!!! It’s either you lose your dignity or your life! She’ll put some of the water in her mouth and blow it through her anus!!! OMFG!!! Worse than a horror rape scene, Homare does the unthinkable on Shion! That’s only half of it because now Homare wants her to do it to her! This is the worst day of Shion’s life. But she survived… That’s even weird sh*t porn for today. At sunset, they finally reach back thanks to Mutsu and Asuka’s smoke from cooking. Shion couldn’t wait to reunite with her friends and swim ashore to hug them. That night they have a great feast. Next day, Homare teaches them how to ensnare a wild boar. Come on, girls. Cover your hands with wild boar dung!!! The trauma for Shion doesn’t stop… And then they let Shion be the one who trips over it to see if it works. Works like a charm. Lastly we see Homare’s papa on his boat on his way to rescue her…

Cast Away: Girls Versus Wild
Well, this just in. Looks like I know nothing at all and I better have somebody like Homare to hold my hand if I ever find myself in a similar situation. I don’t know if I can really ever do that anus hydration thingy if I were in the same situation. Really, that scene was really the most disturbing and so full of cringe for those who are not used to it. I really hope I don’t have to go through that… And with the girls looking like they’re making the island their home and learning better skills as each day pass, the cliff-hanger of Homare’s papa coming to rescue her, if he does so will they really want to leave their ‘second home’? That will be a survival story for another time. If they manage to put out another season, that is.

While the survival skills and techniques are interesting to watch, I have a feeling that they are just very basic. After all, even though there is this intention from this anime to enlighten and teach others about survival techniques, you can’t go in too deep and technical otherwise it will bore and confuse the hell out of many viewers. Especially like yours truly who know nuts about surviving and this might turn this series into one ‘scary’ experience. Oh damn, you need to know and do so many things just for that little thing? I’m going to pass this island survival thingy. Yeah… Also, this series is only 12 minutes or so and I can see why they want to keep it short and at the same time cram as many interesting survival situations and techniques into the dozen of episodes. This is after all still anime and the main point is to entertain. Otherwise it makes zero sense to have 4 cute girls as our protagonists here, right? In spite of everything we have seen the girls go through, it feels that nature has still been kind on them rather than unleashing some sort of fury that would have threatened their lives at every moment. Like as though this island is made for beginner and amateur survivalists…

While the plot of this series is to see the girls survive the island and to improve their daily survival, a lot of other things when you think about it doesn’t make sense. Like as though it was just all for plot convenience to set up this setting. For instance when the girls shipwrecked, where are the bodies of their other classmates? Unless you tell me that they are the only ones who were on a trip. Even so, where’s the pilot’s body? Oddly in the first episode I have already been wondering about stuffs like this because I figure if you want to be realistic, might as well think of this gruesome reality too. I know they don’t want to stay depressed or even think of their dead, but it’s like those dead classmates never existed at all. It’s like, oh there are only 4 of us who survived this. Okay. Let’s start surviving this island together. See what I mean? Plus, this is sea water so the bodies should float? Amazingly no corpses have been drifted on the island they have been. Assuming that the girls have been stranded on this island for days and weeks, why has there been no search and rescue operation to look for them? Unless the pilot went off its course so the rescue team is searching in the wrong place. Hmmm… Now where have I heard this plot before? With no rescue team means it beats the girls having to bum around and wait to be rescued and hence why we see them doing things to survive.

And then here is another mind boggling part: How come the girls still look fresh and especially their clothes still looking good and new? Remember what I said about this series trying to entertain us and probably targeting a certain demographic segment? Uh huh. It just feels unrealistic that even though there might be some natural solutions to help keep the moisture and some skin care, it won’t be as good as those manufactured ‘poison’ that those international brands produce. In short, the girls here look amazingly cute and clean despite being stranded on the island for days and even weeks. Their school uniforms look amazingly neat and spotless despite being exposed to the elements. No torn or ripped parts of their shirt or skirt. Even more mind boggling how Homare has used her shirt to drain blood and I can’t believe it is still as white as snow after she somehow cleans it. If this was true in the real world, serial killers and murderers would have gotten away with it so easily. Therefore sometimes looking at the girls who are clean and fresh makes me feel like they’re doing one big advertising for the island… Get what I’m saying?

Character wise, I guess there is nothing much to say about them. You can easily pigeonhole them as the athletic tomboy (Asuka), the studious megane (Mutsu) and the prideful oujosama (Shion). Thankfully with one of them being a master survivalist, the rest get to extend their lives longer instead of game over the moment they crashed. It is that ironic feeling that everything you learnt in school is not really applicable here. But let’s face it, how often are we going to live in the jungles or somewhere without human civilization? So it is pretty expected that Asuka, Mutsu and Shion know nothing about survival. Occasional b*tching and whining I guess it is acceptable seeing that they are unfamiliar with their new surroundings and it is a good thing they learn and help out since trying to forever be a spoilt brat will only get you dead (by nature) and not sit well with us viewers who might be trying to find somebody to hate. I dunno. It’s just human nature, I guess?

But I suppose this means with their undies in good condition too, it gives a great excuse to see them in it while they get wet and do water activities. Damn, that sure sounded ambiguous but whatever. Viva our little fanservice here! And because the trio are noobs in surviving, some of their slip-ups are made to look like jokes and punch lines. Ah well, gotta have some fun too, right? It’s a good thing they have Homare as company rather than, say, Wilson! Cute blonde twintail beats bloody hand printed ball any time!

Homare being the ultimate survivalist and somewhat saviour of the pack, it feels like God is trying to play a cruel trick on her by testing what she has learnt from her father all these years. Many of the techniques she employs here are thanks to the lessons and flashbacks while travelling with her dad that are scattered throughout the series. Hence it also becomes one of the mind boggling points of the series: Why the heck was papa bringing a young girl along with him through his travels around the world? I don’t know what job papa does that has him travelling to all the dangerous parts of the world, but why bring a young Homare who could have been in elementary school then with him? I am making a big assumption that mom is dead and it’s the only reason why a child is not stopped to go on such journeys. And of course thanks to the travels, she has gained a lot of valuable knowledge on surviving. For some reason she stopped travelling and entered high school. I am also assuming this happened because dad is dead and she thought of experiencing the high school life before she gets too old to be a high school girl. And then this happened. Perhaps the ultimate test to see if she was really paying attention to daddy. From what we’ve seen, it is sure paying off.

On a side note, thanks to my limited Japanese vocabulary, initially I wondered why this series was named so. Only after a simple Google search did I realize it was appropriately named and it can be used as pun too. Hence the official English title of “Are You Lost?” is appropriate (sounan means lost). This also offers a play on word and pun because “Sou nan desu ka” technically means “I see…”. Therefore when Homare shows and wows us with her techniques cue this line which could actually mean both. Pretty neat, huh?

Art and animation feel pretty okay as we have cute looking girls and for thankfully the island life isn’t harsh enough that the girls suffer some kind of horrible injury or tragic fate. Yeah, nobody gets paralyzed or suffer from some sort of illness! And with cute girls making look like it is so easy and fun living the island life, better think twice and do your research after research if you really want to try this out. This anime is animated by Ezola whose only other anime at this point was Happy Sugar Life.

I didn’t want to make any issues with the voice acting part but I want to point out that Homare’s character at first I didn’t think she was suitably voiced. Not that Mao Ichimichi (Shion in Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken) did a bad job but rather my perception (and most of us) of blonde twintail girls. I was expecting her to have this high pitch squeaky voice like what many blonde twintail girls do. Yeah, bonus points if she is a tsundere. Therefore having Homare’s voice as the calm and lower pitched, it just feels, uhm, not right. Had Homare looked like any one of the other girls, I would have agreed to the casting but I guess the producers want us to cast away that stereotypical views of blonde twintail girls. Yeah, it all doesn’t matter when it comes down to survival, huh?

The other casts in this small line-up include Azumi Waki as Shion (titular character in Oshiete! Galko-chan), Hiyori Kouno as Asuka (Kazusa in Araburu Kisetsu No Otomoe-domo Yo), Kiyono Yasuno as Mutsu (Megumi in Saenai Hoeroine No Sodatekata) and Akio Ootsuka as Homare’s papa (Kyouraku in Bleach). Seriously, the more I hear the voice of this guy, the more I keep thinking he is the late Unshou Ishizuka! Remember Ahomushi? If the island didn’t get named by them, then they could have formed a band in an alternate reality and sung the opening theme of this song, Koko Wa Doko! Another one of the weird aspects of this series is how lively this song is. I don’t expect it to be dark, dramatic and edgy but for a show about survival, seeing the girls having fun doing survival stuffs in the opening credits, it just feels really weird. Yes. Really, really, really weird. But I think we need all the positivism and motivation we can get by staying on this deserted island. The ending theme by Kiyono Yasuno goes to a slower beat. Ikiru has this slight feel that it is a marching band song but it’s not that bad either.

Overall, this series can swing both ways. It is entertaining because you get to see the girls doing basic survival tasks and if you like a bit of ecchi, having them doing certain stuffs in their underwear gives a natural excuse for this. However the series can be a drag because it is basically the girls doing basic survival tasks. Rinse and repeat but shown in a different way. And the saddest part is that I would forget all the lessons that Homare has thought us once the next season rolls in. Heck, even by the next episode I would have forgotten the important survival lessons of the previous! Looks like I’m not cut out for surviving in the wild. Anime had better not die out and force me to go outside and live a normal social life! Oh the horror! I don’t need that kind of survival skills, please!!!

Tesagure! Bukatsumono

October 13, 2019

Atarashii! Something new! NOT! For some reasons, Tesagure! Bukatsumono is supposed to be the kind of anime that I would definitely have put it on my watch list but never managed to do so. I don’t know how I missed this series that aired way back in 2013 but I guess many years later my random search on the internet over what potential ‘past’ animes to watch led me to stumble upon this. The plot is just about a group of girls talking about the common and generic tropes of clubs and giving their new ideas about it. Yeah… Sounds boring… Maybe that’s why I skipped it… But since here I am now, perhaps those new ideas might sound interesting and funny.

Episode 1
Yua Suzuki, Hina Satou and Aoi Takahashi are trying to recruit members for their club. They contemplate of letting a normal boy join to turn into some harem but by doing so means they can’t do girly things anymore and it will be awkward. Hence they snag Koharu Tanaka to join. She didn’t even know how the heck she ended up joining either. She is still unsure to join this one as it was her goal to join her club but after seeing so many presentations, all of them were boring so she isn’t sure anymore. The rest explain this club is for her and is different than the rest. They don’t have anything in particular to do so they think of the things they want to do via trial and error. Hence they are like groping to do things and testing to see if they are interesting. Thus tesagure bukatsubu literally meaning a groping club. Now that Koharu is convinced to stay, they brainstorm their first activity. They think up the first things that come to mind about baseball. All the cliché stuffs like how the main characters act and look as well as how such typical baseball tournament stories go. Then they come up with new rules for a new baseball club. That rule is flexibility. So it’s like anything goes? From what they should do after winning and their dress to the cheerleaders, speak your mind, girls. Then they experiment with blind baseball by calling clones of Mobuko Sonota to join in as the opposing team. The players are blindfolded but are guided by directions by their teammates who aren’t playing. Just like that traditional blindfolded watermelon splitting. Safe to say, they fail badly. Oops, did they break a window? Blaming bad instructions, huh?

Episode 2
The girls visit Koharu’s class to find out where she sits. Since she sits in front and in the middle, they thought she was supposed to be the main character because main characters always sits next to the window! Koharu worries when they mention they can read her thoughts. In the clubroom, Koharu discovers the club isn’t official. They submit every year but it gets rejected. But of course. So they’re operating illegally? Anyway, just like last episode, they brainstorm about football. All the clichés and stereotypes of football in anime and manga. Then they come up with new rules for the sport that includes carrying the goalpost to the ball and digging holes?! It’s time to experiment with it so they call Mobuko to help out. It is revealed that they are all sisters! Must be one horny dad to f*ck his mom and give birth to sextuplets for 3 consecutive years!!! Anyway, today’s football rule is that when you receive the ball, you must recite a haiku. Not sure if the poem isn’t any good you can get a yellow card by the referee?! And even if the goalkeeper catches the ball but a bad haiku means it is considered a goal?! Weird. Thankfully real football doesn’t follow this.

Episode 3
Koharu tries to pinpoint the typical and cliché anime girls in their school like twins with opposite personalities and the rich girl. However the rest point out they are totally not and just normal people. But I guess Mobuko’s the exception… This time the club in discussion is shogi. They dispense their views on the game before imposing the usual new rules. They include the pieces acting as a wish plate, moving a piece with a non-dominant hand and the pieces themselves having some sort of drama like the generals on both sides are actually going out with each other! As they prepare for the experiment, Koharu learns that despite not being an official club, thanks to Yua being in many other clubs, she has influence and thus their club has a clubroom. This means Yua has also got some clubs to create a giant shogi board and pieces. The twist of this game is that Twister rules are incorporated. Yeah, it’s damn hard to play with your ass blocking that space! Weird positions! You lose if you can’t maintain your position. Truly, this game isn’t for the weak!

Episode 4
When Koharu learns that Yua is also the student council vice president, she starts worried about her school life since her perception on them as well as the disciplinary committee is strict people. Her friends dispel that misconception and that they are actually nice people. Koharu feels relieved and is amazed to see them having colourful hairstyles like main characters. Later Koharu worries that because their club is only all girls, people might get the wrong impression. The rest then start to tease her that they may just be yuri and start getting yuri on her! Don’t get your hopes up on a foursome… Next they discuss about the tea club. Like before, their views on what they think the club is like before making their own rules such as putting in milk and bowls that look like pantsu! Then the rest seem to pester Yua to do something about the tea club but she jokingly denies and doesn’t want to do it. Eventually she does a weird cha-cha dance?

Episode 5
This is inevitable. The topic about boobs! Or at least their uniforms make it so their boobs are protruding. This is more obvious to those with big busts like Hina so for those washboards like Aoi, better keep praying harder. So which club will be today’s victim? The cycling club. Their usual views on it like their uniform and the typical and cliché cycling tournament. And the new rules they come up with include having to bang their thighs with each other like butt sumo (WTF is this gay piece of sh*t?!) and cycling with heavy weights attached to their bikes. Aoi somewhat ‘wins’ as the best rule since she makes a pun of coins dropping and bicycle (both pronounced as ‘chari’).

Episode 6
We jump straight into the girls talking about the wind instrument club. Lots of clichés about characters in this club like siblings, harems, ex-girlfriends, indirect kissing, superhero suits and rich loli magical girls?! Are they serious?! And those are all their ideas and not new rules yet? So the new rules they come up include blowing while having hay fever, only waving sticks, playing inside a pool (a pun for suisou as both wind instruments and water tank sound the same) and spooning while playing the instrument. Everyone later tries blowing a wind instrument and as expected, they all suck. If it was a real weapon, it could really kill…

Episode 7
The cafeteria is crowded and the queue is long because shortage of workers and the new cafeteria lady is unsure of the pricing. Wow. Aoi telling her off what the real prices are? In the clubroom, the girls discuss about the newspaper club. All its cliché perceptions of its characters to the girl who has a crush on the protagonist and the guy who always has the latest scoop. Of course the moral dilemma of exposing the truth. Eventually it is all just a dream of the protagonist’s father? New rules for the club include reporters need to get special training to post comments, using more emoji and having adult content. Later the girls experiment with karuta. The twist is that they must quickly pick out an embarrassing picture of them taken secretly. Is it me or are there a lot of secret embarrassing Koharu pictures? Because of that, she couldn’t snatch a single photo and Aoi is the winner with the most.

Episode 8
Maid cafes are a staple in school cultural festival. With so many around, they realize they all come from the same chain. Is this a franchise? The girls talk about the tennis club. The weird scoring system and the strange ways they use the racquet. They also talk about the clichés of tennis clubs in anime like how everyone looks like an adult and that’s why the protagonist looks like a kid with hidden talents and all. As for the new rules, they include having a sudden death match with only a single point scored, wearing embarrassing and used panties while playing and putting vinegar on their hands as sterilization (a word pun based on tennis) while those on the bench make sushi.

Episode 9
The theatre club isn’t spared. Their perceptions on it include the club having national tournaments like sports clubs and extra actors for minor parts get weird credited nicknames. Clichés in anime include the protagonist memorizing all her lines after reading the script once and there is a direct correlation in her improving acting skill as well as her real life romance. New rules for the club include everyone having to repeat their lines twice hence making the play twice as long, the audience never sympathizing with the heroine and all actors continue to put up and act to hide their real personalities even during rehearsals. Yua has lots more on her list but it’s too dangerous and the rest just vetoed her ideas. Later they try acting out on stage. Wow. So dramatic. So funny. So lame… No wonder Koharu feels embarrassed at the end of the play.

Episode 10
The cliché moment of a couple always getting stuck in the gym storeroom after the last person locks it. Hence that is why when Yua and co pass by, it is a rule that the next person who passes by must unlock it. True enough, a couple comes out thanking them. In the clubroom, the girls discuss about idioms that contain eyes and mouth. Aoi seems to be particularly unimpressed that eye idioms have more positive connotation that the mouth idioms. So they substitute both parts to make new idioms and then make a hero story that is based on mouth idioms. With everyone getting really creative with the mouth idioms, it leaves poor Koharu so confused because the hero sounds and acts like a typical villain! And Aoi doesn’t even care anymore. Before we forget today’s episode we haven’t talk about a club yet, this time they talk about themselves which is basically the slice of life club. No need further introductions so let’s get down to the new rules. When Yua suggests she is God, Koharu misinterprets that she has died! Certainly not the punchline or answer everyone was expecting! I guess that’s enough for today. Later they experiment with scavenger hunt shiritori. They are to bring items to the hall. Yeah, they really bring in weird items including strangers. Koharu so confused…

Episode 11
The girls tease Koharu aloud that she might wear panties with holes. Oh my. Did that guy hear it? Yua even goes over to tell him all about it but it seems he didn’t catch all that. That’s because the cliché of main character guys will never know girls’ secret! To further prove it, they tell him more of Koharu’s embarrassing stuffs and he still doesn’t get it. But Koharu still embarrassed… For this special edition, Mobuko joins the club as a guest. This time they talk about the astronomy club. So mysterious that they don’t even know where it is located. New rules include lovers must address each other as Hikoboshi and Orihime and everyone must make their appearance with a comet trail. I guess the club is so mysterious and nothing to talk about that they have time to talk about another club: Cheerleading club. Tight shoelaces, hairstyles and leaving pom pom strands all over. New rules include doing cheerleading in the most unlikely of places like funerals and courtrooms, using pom poms as powder for armpits and wearing loose panties that might fly all over during their cheerleading. I’m sure that will earn them lots of points! The audience will definitely cheer harder!

Episode 12
With Yua and Hina graduating, Koharu notes it will be just the 2 of them. But Aoi notes this club will always have 4 people. When the seniors return, they pack their stuffs and Koharu stumbles into an album containing application forms with weird names. It seems those are failed applications for their club and were always rejected because they couldn’t decide what the club is supposed to be. Then they ask if Koharu has found a club she wanted to join. Well, despite finding it hard to keep up with them, she somewhat finds it fun. Koharu learns that the club’s only rule is to go through trial and member to figure out what the new members want to do. Hence that is why they talk about creating new rules for clubs. Yua hands over the presidency to Aoi while Hina hands over her vice presidency to Koharu. However Koharu cannot accept all this. After hearing all that, there is no way she can be the vice president of this crazy club. This club will not do without Yua and Hina. She begs them not to graduate. This heart breaking scene only reminds them about themselves as they too did this to their graduating seniors. Damn, I thought this would be comedy but now it’s turned into a tearjerker after this big emotional group hug. Hence Yua suggests creating new rules for this tesagure club that includes everyone must laugh at the president’s proposal and everyone acting like Koharu. They note that even though it is sad not to have Koharu around, they prefer to have the one and only Koharu instead of multiple clones. And so Yua and Hina graduate. Aoi and Koharu’s first role is to fill up the application form for the club. Why not call it tesagure club? That’s something new that nobody has thought about.

Encore

Not enough tesagure for you? Don’t despair. Here’s the second season with more ideas coming your way!

Episode 1
We hear Koharu narrate the meaning of her name and the reason why she wanted to join a club. It’s basically a summary of the first season as she also introduces her other club members and their personalities as well as highlighting some of the things they talk then. Now it is time for Yua and Hina to hand over their presidency and vice presidency respectively to Aoi and Koharu. Some last words and also the logic behind the creation of this club was always to find something and to focus on who the members spent time with rather than how they spent their time. Just like history repeating itself, Koharu doesn’t want to graduate and everybody starts crying in a big group hug. OMG. I thought this was supposed to be a comedy and not a tearjerker!!! Again! During recruitment day, Aoi is slacking as Koharu tries to wake her up and warn her other clubs might steal their potential members. And then Aoi starts ranting about the clichés in manga that characters don’t age and that they should follow this trope. What does this mean? It means they’re bringing back Yua and Hina to the club! I guess that’s why they also called this season ‘Encore’.

Episode 2
Since they’re really going down with this repeat route, they talk about the discrepancies and inconsistencies from various sources and media. Hence the most common ‘acceptable’ excuse is of course parallel world! Also, because there were requests for less animation for this episode, hence our girls will be less animated and having less movements. Enjoy your lame slideshow. The girls talk about the stereotypes of the basketball club before moving on to their new rules that include the referee blowing his whistle randomly and for weird reasons as well as everyone wearing loose trousers and the game turns into dodgeball when some music is played.

Episode 3
They’re going to do less animation for this episode too! Yeah, it’s alright as long as they can make it through. All though there will be slightly more animation this time, you will notice how they used recycled scenes from past episodes and sometimes the art gets very sketchy and no colour. Anyway, they talk about the judo club. Yeah, the club with smelly men. Not sure how they go about making puns of names before going on to make new rules like they have to put their full name on the uniform, giving cute names to all the painful moves and wearing nipple stickers the same colour as the belt. Later they experiment by making judo clothes that are hard to grab. One is too slippery because it is made of eel! And shocking too! Another is made of tissue paper! It’s breaking up! Too bad we can’t see any of this because remember, less animation. We’re stuck outside the gym and relying on our power of imagination!

Episode 4
Arts club. Yeah. Those talented nerds. They discuss the different types of people in arts club which we might find cliché and typical in anime and manga. As they move on to the new rules, because Hina makes some incomprehensible pun, the rest find it really hard to understand. WTF, butt drawing? It took a while for her to explain and this only worsens the pun, making Hina ‘mad’. I guess it took up too much time so let’s go over to the experiment. They will be playing shiritori but using art. Uh huh. They must guess what that drawing is and draw their answer. Unfortunately their drawings are so freaking abstract that you will never be able to guess! Yeah, maybe they are just bad artists. Koharu is the only art whom they are able to guess because she is simple. After double checking the real answers, it seems by coincidence that all their artworks are coincidentally shiritori related! So this is real art? So when it is Koharu’s turn, her simple art is guessable but unfortunately she lost. Shinkansen…

Episode 5
Volleyball club. A bunch of masochists, right? After mentioning the few types of typical volleyball characters, they move on to the new rules such as the players wearing ballet dancers’ uniform, allowing players to pick up the ball that has touched the ground for 3 seconds and using human heads as the ball. WTF?! For the experiment, the volleyball game they play has a twist. There are building blocks of cities on each side of the court. They must return the ball while defending their city! If the buildings get destroyed, they lose points! Safe to say, Koharu’s side decimated their own city with all the reckless moves. And if they’re too careful, they’re too slow to return the ball. And Mobuko’s side is like having extreme dexterity and flexibility. None of their buildings were demolished! I know who to call to protect my city when a kaiju appears.

Episode 6
Broadcasting club. Stereotypes about the people in the club. They even take the chance to blatantly promote their soundtrack. When they talk about the different types of main characters in such club and the stammering they usually have, Hina acts them all out. For the new rules, looks like they only have time to hear Koharu’s idea of everyone speaking with squeaky voice after inhaling helium gas. That’s because everyone is so amused with Koharu’s ‘ability’ to imitate her helium gas voice that they want her to continue imitating it. Is this going to be her regular character from now on? Don’t think so.

Episode 7
Koharu thinks that this school is safe because of the surveillance cameras around. Until the rest points out its special features of shooting white beams. They demonstrate by flipping Koharu’s skirt, here’s your white beam censor! Damn, the girls must really feel so safe! Except Koharu. She gets violated as the rest keeps flipping her skirt. Hey, at least security is working. What do you think about the rugby club? Burly idiots! They discuss the absurd rules since they are unfamiliar with it. Also a gender bender rugby club filled with stereotypic cliché girls. New rules for the club include when a tackle is made, a hug must be given. Hence name change to hugby!!! Then they go on talking about balls and the players being gay…

Episode 8
Not a club this time. They talk about the cultural festival and its clichés. So when they talk about its new rules, the only idea came about is locusts descending on the festival. Because the rest of the time they are talking what locusts and other types of bugs are. Just keep the place clean! During the festival, because coincidentally all the members of the light music club is out, our girls have to substitute them. Do they even know how to play instruments? Well, they start talking jokes and puns, turning this concert into a stand-up comedy show. Hey, as long everyone is laughing. They end this with a song. But because they can’t play the instruments, they play the CD while pretending to mash their instruments. I guess the fun part is just singing the lyrics. So it’s like an idol concert? But holding instruments? And Aoi is like when she lost her drumsticks, she just starts banging the cymbals around like a monkey. Having fun, aren’t we?

Episode 9
Koharu wants to buy a birthday gift for a friend but doesn’t know much about her. Hence the rest suggests asking the best friend of the main character. Because he knows everything! The girls talk about the quiz club. Yeah, why to smart people always wear glasses? The interesting part comes from them creating a romantic comedy story in which all questions are given several multiple choice answers. So how will the story end? A) Good ending; B) Bad ending; C) All this is just a dream; D) Series cancelled! As for the new rules, Yua suggests everyone has to answer in a very shy and embarrassed way. Then she tries to bait Hina into saying some embarrassing words but that girl has some wisecrack answers and a tough nut to crack.

Episode 10
Starting on a different note, the girls try to answer Yua’s riddles but most of them end up as puns. This leads to the origin of the riddles especially that famous sphinx one. You know, the creature that changes the number of legs throughout the day and the answer is man. Because of the ambiguous choice of words, the reason why many don’t get the right answer. Hence they reword it in a simpler and more understandable way that makes the answer way easier to guess. However the question and task itself becomes boring. I guess they chatted too much on this and realize they haven’t talk about any clubs yet. Not really a club this time as they talk about the sports festival and immediately comes up with new rules. One of them being items must be very hard to obtain. Because Koharu gave degenerate answers, the rest believes she has been broken since joining this club and this means she’ll do fine when a new person joins the club! For the experiment, Yua combines riddles with sports day. When she asks a riddle, they’re supposed to pick an answer from several sketches. All wrong! I guess it is harder than it seems.

Episode 11
Are school teachers always this young? Only in anime! And why are they always single and love getting drunk? They go directly ask one and although she confirms all that, she lets in another secret: She is a lesbian! Oh Koharu, you mean to look so shock? With Mobuko and her sisters joining in this session, they talk about the kendo club. It leads to them giving them different nicknames and the only new rule is to fight with bamboo swords soaked in boiling water. Then they discuss about the rakugo club in which instead of having a storyteller play all characters, each character is played by a different person. Also, instead of the story finishing in one telling, spread it out into 12 different stories!

Episode 12
We go back to a year before when the club was headed by Mio. With Yua and Hina, they were recruiting members. Mio spotted Aoi sitting alone and invited her to join but Aoi will not join any clubs whatsoever as she views them as stupid. She thinks all those relationships between club members are fake. Just people pretending to be friends. But of course, Mio dragged her to join the club. So Mio cut her a deal that they will find something to do in the club that isn’t stupid and in turn Aoi agreed to join and try out for a year. Man, that’s a long time. But it got off on a bad start as Aoi realizes the club’s name sounds really stupid… But as we can see, Aoi slowly joins the ‘stupid’ conversation like girls in her class being cliché and stereotypical (for instance, girls being fat) and making new rules for the amusement park. Eventually Mio graduates and she hands over the leadership to Yua. As for Aoi, she didn’t care if the club was stupid or not. Thinking if something is stupid or not seemed stupid now. Is she saying she has also become stupid? Just kidding. But Mio’s parting philosophical ways about freedom and acceptance has everyone crying hard. Especially Aoi. She realizes this is the first place who accepted her for who she is. Because if you accept everyone as they are, they will learn to accept you for who you are! So deep! OMG. I thought this was supposed to be a comedy and not a tearjerker!!! Yet again!!! Aoi doesn’t want Mio to graduate but alas she leaves her in the capable hands of Yua and Hina. It will be their turn to create a place for someone else. In present time, our girls are now doing another recruitment drive. Koharu is still nervous and panicky but Aoi, she’s a cool cat. Just do whatever you want!

Purupurun Sharumu To Asobu

Well, technically they didn’t do a third season but this is still a third season if you consider this spinoff as one. And what better way than to add more characters and to double the running time equivalent to your standard anime.

Episode 1
Aoi and Koharu are trying to recruit new members. Because Aoi’s dream is to do a collaboration anime, hence they pull back Yua and Hina for another season! Thanks to the publisher having bigger budget and their airtime has increased, they think they can get away by calling this a spinoff. After all, in the end everything will be just a dream, right?! So folks, meet our Apprentice Goddesses of Purupurun Charm. Their anime hasn’t been adapted yet but their casts have already been chosen. So this is also part of a collaboration to make Charm achieve their goal to become an anime? So they start things off by trying to plan what to do for each episode. It is going to be tough since the Charm side have different schedules, considering their seiyuus are popular. After briefly introducing themselves, they then discuss about how to talk to each other. Hence it turns out with everyone suggesting Koharu talk politely to everybody from now on. Must she change her character? They also discuss what kind of show Charm should do. So it’s like going to copy tesagure style? After all, remember they can just brush it off as a dream. So to start off the next segment by falling asleep so they can start Charm’s segment. This is a dream, right? And here it is, Purupurun Charm, 5 girls with elemental powers who bring harmony to the universe that includes parallel worlds existing within the same dimension. But we see Rin Arisugawa narrating her normal high school life with friends, Hiina Usami and Kanon Izayoi. Yui Enjouji is their senior and she loves to tease Kanon because of her short stature. Joining in their discussion is Tomomi Okonogi, a half Russian who arrives in a tank. So what they discuss about? Female type battle robots! Even having new rules for them like being flirted via wall slam and taking custody of their kids. Hiina loves walls slam and has Rin act it out with her? Then it is back to the original tesagure quartet as they think what else to do with this collaboration. So they think of a new one frame slice of life manga. With an empty speech bubble, they make adlib speeches for it but mostly talk about boobs.

Episode 2
Our tesagure girls talk with their Charm counterparts about their debut. They give their mix comments about this unique yet lazy adlib system. In order to give everyone a proper introduction and since a normal highlight episode would be just boring, they suggest doing it via musical style. But first with start off with our Charm girls discussing various topics like the kind of goddess they would like to become and the things they would like to do now. Then they get a cue to talk about the gymnastics club. A few awkward moments as they try to discuss new rules for it. Yeah, probably they’re beginners so we let them off the hook. But it gets awkward as Rin keeps mistaking Hiina for Tomomi so much so she has to be reminded before she does it again. Now we return to the tesagure girls. New viewers, don’t worry if you don’t know what the show is all about as it is done in a musical fashion! However the scenes and dialogues aren’t new. What they do is take an excerpt from a previous episode, the girls read their lines by singing it in a strange musical fashion. From tennis club to newspaper club to rugby club and arts club, now do you understand what this anime is all about? And if you want to sing along with them, just in case the songs are all sung in E Major. So just to let you know, okay?

Episode 3
The girls talk how this third collaboration is most important as the Charm side relay their thoughts on the first 2. It is also a blatant chance by the tesagure girls to promote and sell this anime’s DVDs. The Charm girls discuss about each other’s strong points before discussing new ideas for a job interview. This leads to them acting out a reverse pressure job interview in which the interviewee puts back the pressure by counter questioning the interviewer. They even try it out with Kanon and Hiina being quite the pro. Back to our tesagure girls, this time they talk about the table tennis club. Since a lot of rules overlap with the tennis club, hence it is perfect for this spinoff. Today’s discussion is slightly different as they borrow the table tennis’ table and they discuss things while they play. But they end up laughing most of the time and can’t play well. Then they just sit down and talk about the new rules for the club that includes using ping pong balls as bubbles in a public bath and the net caught a boar or tuna. Even more interesting, Playboy bunny girls use their stockings as net and keep the ball warm in their cleavage! Is this some sort of special themed brothel?

Episode 4
The girls are now thinking of doing a song collaboration and their own character songs. The Charm girls talk about Hina’s new Smartphone followed by new things in their life. This irks Kanon since Yui and Tomomi are bragging about their new growth in boobs and height respectively. Later when Yui can’t attend the meeting, Yua sits in for her as they talk about new things for a villa. Ideas include having 30 toilets, the walls and roof are see-through and everybody who lives there are naked. Back to the tesagure girls, because the school is going to have a new school song and hence encouraging students to submit lyrics, first they talk about ideas for a new school song like deer gathering when you start singing and the teacher got so into playing the music that he would end up smashing the instrument. We then hear how the school song plays out before the quartet list down words they want to say and fit into it as lyrics. It’s like they want to incorporate everything so yeah, the song’s lyrics turn out to weird. Very weird. From hot guys running around in this paradise to survival of the fittest and a strange confession scene. Sure you girls aren’t writing lyrics for some dramatic pop music? Yeah, nobody wants to be caught dead singing this during the opening ceremony!

Episode 5
With last week’s Yui sitting in, they girls now think of shuffling themselves for this adlib collaboration. But we start off with the Charm girls first. Rin is having problems studying so the rest chip in to try and help her to study. But as expected, Rin can’t focus as she wants something sweet and eventually falls asleep. I don’t think dreaming is going to help her do her homework. Later, Mio and Hina replace Yui and Tomomi as they discuss about new field trips. Mio has trouble reading kanji so not so sure about the hypnotic field trip she is talking about. Then there’s also stores that sell souvenirs run by teachers so they can pocket the extra income and students are divided into some kind of order for the field trip. Next, the tesagure girls visit the haunted house. Surprisingly, it is Aoi who is very scared and clinging on to Hina for dear life while the rest are like laughing their asses off over the great props and actors. Yeah, really weird and funny. Back at the clubroom, they are joined by Yua and Mobuko as they discuss new ideas for a haunted house that includes a haunted house like a giant maze, ghosts announcing beforehand that they’ll pop up to scare you and a hot male ghost who escorts you all the way. Sorry, no hot girl ghost if you’re a guy. You still get a hot male ghost escort.

Episode 6
With the success of last week’s shuffling, Yua wants the shuffling to continue in this episode. To add to the fun, they’re going to add collaborative character songs. But first, we see Rin having a toothache. With Hiina giving advice on how to deal with it, I guess Yui eating her sweets on behalf isn’t going to do any good. They talk about other oral hygiene care before Yua and Aoi replace Tomomi and Kanon to discuss new dentist rules that include the dentist grinding away your budget, the dentist says “Tooth” in every sentence, the drill used is of the multiplication kind and a female dentist having large boobs in your face and hence den-tits. The tesagure girls ride the Ferris Wheel at the amusement park. Hina has fear of heights and thinks this is unsafe. You mean the roller coaster is safer because it has seatbelts? As their carriage reach the top, it is clear that Hina is not feeling too well. The wind is blowing hard and the other girls take this chance to tease her like hell like rubbing her thighs since she is being a quiet girl. Then Yua tries to pretend to be her boyfriend and calm her but it just made it worse. Kanon and Tomomi join the tesagure girls to discuss about new Ferris Wheel ideas. This includes each carriage is equipped with amazing equipment like a shelter, saying gondola many times fast turns it into a dragon (it’s a pun, try it), you can’t ride it without being introduced or referred by someone and riding to the highest point allows one to see all hidden things going on that one is not able to see normally like the staff rooms.

Episode 7
For the first time, all of the girls are here at the same time to record a collaboration. Since they can’t do a swimsuit fanservice, Hina suggests some werewolf kind of fanservice. You know, some yuri girl turns into a werewolf AKA Yuriwolf to terrorize the other girls in the dorm? Not one but 2 Yuriwolves! In this Danganronpa style trial, we see all the girls (minus Tomomi) having a trial and discussion to pick out the Yuriwolf. Based on initial votes, the suspicions fall on Kanon. As they deliberate, we hear them all saying they love men or something like that. It sounds like everyone is picking on Mobuko as she emotionally tries to rebuke all their accusations. Once the trial is over, the one with the highest vote is ejected from the trial. That person is Kanon! One night passes and it seems the Yuriwolf’s victim is Mobuko. Hence the next day’s trial resumes with Koharu now being a suspect. More deliberation and accusations. Yeah, keep asserting you like men… Because of that, everybody gangs up and even voices out to vote out Koharu! So it is no surprising she gets ejected from the trial. Now, if both Kanon and Koharu were the Yuriwolves, there would be no more victims and the game won. However when night falls, Yui has become a victim. Hence the trial resumes and now the suspicions fall on Yua.

Episode 8
The trial continues with more deliberation. This time, there seems to be an argument over Aoi and Hiina being the fortune teller. And both are trying to make their case that they are the genuine fortune teller since they did some readings on the fortunes of other girls. When the votes are in, Aoi and Hiina have the same number so both are given a little more time to speak and make their case. In the end, it is Hiina is voted out. If Hiina was the Yuriwolf, the game would end and the girls win. But that night it is Hina who gets taken out by the Yuriwolf. Therefore the trial continues with Rin now being suspected. Obviously we see Yua and Aoi ganging up on her and even voicing out they’ll vote her out. And yes, Rin is booted out. With Yua and Aoi left, it is announced that the Yuriwolf team wins! The truth is revealed: The Yuriwolves are Aoi and Koharu! The fortune teller is Hiina. The girls discuss and go over things and we see that Aoi is a pretty smart and scheming girl, befitting her Yuriwolf role. From what I understand, she eliminates all the smart ones first and leaves the dumb ones in the end! Is that insulting to Yua and Rin?! It’s one reason why she took out Hina so that Yua can somewhat side with her. Yeah, some club. As for when Koharu was eliminated (it is said she was unanimously voted out), why did Aoi not cover for her? Nah, she was useless and never needed her at all! Damn she’s scary and badass! With some time left in this episode, it is revealed this Yuriwolf version we just saw is the second one. There was an earlier and first version hence we are shown a digest version of it. It’s a bit crude and less refined than the second one we see. Not sure who the Yuriwolves are since they teased the extra materials might be shown on BDs. But I theorize since Aoi was taken out early in the game, maybe that’s why she sounded so scheming in the latter.

Episode 9
Due to the success of the Yuriwolf episode, this time they’re going to take it easy. So, back to normal chatting? They talk about the movie they saw last night and this leads to Kanon revealing she has never been to the cinema as she doesn’t want others interrupting her show and Tomomi aiming to go watch movies alone and pick a time where nobody is around. So the Charm girls decide to go watch a movie together. Hiina is trying to hold back her tears but to her surprise it is Tomomi who started crying. The rest? They fell asleep! Yua and Koharu replace Tomomi and Rin as they give new ideas for movies like screening 2 movies side by side, soaked chairs and chairs that become toilet seats if you need to answer the call of nature. The tesagure girls are at the zoo. They are amused at a pair of meerkats interacting one another. Are they making out?! Keep snapping those cute little critters till your folder is full of meerkat photos! Only Aoi and Tomomi are present at today’s discussion as they talk about ideas for a new zoo like animals having boring names and the zookeeper keeps throwing dung. Aoi being Aoi seems to make Tomomi laugh a lot as well as confusing her so Aoi admits she is somewhat shallow and superficial and her words don’t really have deep meaning. Are we supposed to be amazed?

Episode 10
The beauty salon cut Kanon’s bangs too short and so she’s mad and will do what it takes to shut it down! Calm down. The rest try to give words of encouragement but they said too much and eventually it just depresses her. Yua and Hina sit in for Kanon and Hiina to discuss new rules for a beauty salon that include a slot machine that determines your hairstyle, the hairdresser has a short temper, the hair iron is a sandwich making machine and everyone is naked while giving shampoo. The tesagure girls visit a farm. Everyone is so admiring the cute chicks until it starts pooping on their hands. Still cute, though. Then they visit the horse who coincidentally has the same name as Aoi. Yeah, some teasing on which Aoi they’re calling. And Hina ‘bullying’ the horse by trolling it and not giving its food. Kanon and Hiina join the tesagure girls to discuss new rules for a zoo. But this format will be different and will be played out via cards and haiku. The first 2 lines are determined by picking out a card. Then each of them will finish off the 3rd line with their card in hand. Hilarity ensues. So we have horse riding, some Indian elephant, a zookeeper and some dirty joke summary? Probably sometimes the meaning is so random that they find it funny.

Episode 11
With nobody’s schedule lining up this week, Yua notes that everyone’s lines were recorded separately buy edited together. Hence they think of a new dubbing collaboration. One whereby they show old footage but add new voice recordings. But it won’t just be any normal voice recordings. They will be given a theme or separated into categories and those who fall into that will do the voice over in that particular way. For example, those with light coloured hair will talk like a heavy metal shouting while those with dark hair talk like an old woman without dentures. Hence the entire episode despite having recycled footages, the way the tesagure and Charm girls narrate their lines in different modes is refreshing and of course funny to hear. In the end, the last recording has them do the style they like the most that they have done.

Episode 12
Mio hosts this first (and last) Tesagure Grand Prix, the girls will be divided into groups and face off in an individual comic dialogue contest. The winner of each block will advance to the finals and Mio will also pick 2 other losers to join in the finals in which the ultimate winner will receive money as well as something to commemorate her as the main character of the series. In the first block we have Rin, Yua, Yui and Koharu. Tomomi is absent. The topic is to mention the 8th mystery of the school that barely missed the cut to become part of the 7 legendary mysteries of the school. After a few weird ideas, the winner is Koharu. Surprise?! In the second block, we have Aoi, Hiina, Mobuko and Kanon. Surprisingly, Hina is unable to attend because she is sick. Yeah, Aoi already calling her out for faking her illness (note, she isn’t). The theme is the cafeteria lady looking down on you because of some situation. But this theme is so boring that even Aoi calls for the 8th mystery one. I suppose she wants to get the poop jokes off her chest… The winner of this block goes to Hiina. Surprise?! Aoi calls it rigged until Mio chooses her as one of the losers to advance. Not rigged now, huh? Also somehow Tomomi is also picked. In this final face off, they hear a song sample in which they must fill in the remaining lyrics. In the end, the winner goes to… Koharu! Surprise! My opinion is that she could have sealed the win by breaking the fourth wall with a song that this series is about to end. A fitting ending theme for an ending theme? So the final scene shows Koharu waking up in a classroom and noting she is still the new girl after all this time. Is that how she becomes the main character?

Trash Talking At Its Finest
So… Uhm… Did they miss out discussing about the archery club? What about the hockey club? Not even the chess club, huh? Well then… So… Uhm… That’s it? No more new ideas outside the school clubs too, huh? I guess there is a limit to everything then. That’s why they didn’t talk about politics and give new ideas for it. Heh. Don’t want to earn the bad side of those people in power, huh? Yeah, also we don’t want current culture politics permeating and seeping into our animes!

It is with mixed feelings if I should say I enjoyed the series. First of all, there is obviously no plot so everything hinges on the dialogue on the characters. And you know me, after years and years of watching Japanese anime, I’m still having trouble with my Japanese vocabulary. Yeah, this is even watching it with subtitles. I doubt there would be a dub version of this because it would really be a pain in the ass as many of the conversations would be lost in translation. Not that I would even think of watching a dub. But anyway, what I am trying to say is that even with subtitles, I am still struggling to understand what the girls are trying to say. Meaning, I don’t really get what they mean. Sure, some are funny and made me laugh but at other times I am just left scratching my head to just comprehend what it means.

As you would have known, this series is totally adlib. There is no particular script to follow as we hear the seiyuus talk to their heart’s content on whatever the theme and topic of the episode was. But sometimes there are some parts which I do feel like it sounded like as though it is scripted. I could be entirely wrong and even so, this proves that the seiyuus are just as talented in making it sound natural and so while my puny ears and brain can’t seem to pick up and tell the difference between natural adlibbing and scripted. Not sure if the adlibbing talent is perfected but the same anime studio went on to produce Himote House back in 2018. That was also another anime that was based on adlibbing rather than from a script.

As for the ideas that they discuss in each episode, sometimes I feel that they aren’t really ideas. How should I put this? The new ideas are just supplementary to what is already existing. For instance an example of my own, waiters serving customers should now all tell jokes. Sure, that itself is an idea but it is not like it is to improve customer service or the waiting profession. So how is this an idea for a new waiter/waitress of a restaurant? See what I mean? Of course in the end, these are all just jokes and not meant to be taken seriously. But what I am trying to say is that they are more trash talking than brainstorming. Whatever pops up in their mind, they just say it. Anything goes. While some are funny, like I have said, some are mind boggling and this is even true because sometimes this new idea leaves the other girls stumped and the one who present the idea has to somewhat explain it further so the rest could understand. So it’s not like the ideas is new, it is just that they are ridiculous and absurd, hence no sane person would really think about it unless they want to come up with some twisted joke.

Aside from talking about culture clubs and sports, the spinoff tries to bring something new and discuss other things outside of school (I wonder if the visit to the haunted house, amusement park and zoo are also adlib). While this is refreshing, I still find the Yuriwolf game to be the most interesting and exciting of all the other ‘boring’ discussions. The only problem was yet again, my inability to understand some of the things that they discussed. I was trying to piece together what they’re saying and never really got a chance to even make a guess who the Yuriwolves were. I know I could have paused and think but nah, that might ruin the experience. WTF did I just say… Even though they tried their best to expand and prolong it to 2 episodes, the game mechanics I felt could have been better explained but I guess things have to move along quick because if given time, thinking and planning would have made the outcome very different and may not be exciting anymore.

Can’t say anything much about the characters. Since it’s the ideas that we’re talking about, the characters aren’t really given much of a prominence. Sure, some of them have their personalities but it is nothing major nor would it influence anything. Maybe except the ideas that they throw out. For example, Yua is the perverted one while Hina is the calm and intellectual one. Then you have Aoi who started off as one who has the penchant of making puns in every ideas she said but then she started turning into some kooky member. Like as though she is a few steps away from being an official mental asylum patient. Then there is Koharu who is the naïve and gullible one but she could be even more perverted than Yua especially it is no secret that she likes hot good looking men and doesn’t even hide this perversion of hers. Looks like she is already at home and blended in well with the club.

Sad to say for the Charm girls, I guess this series didn’t help increase their popularity so their own anime never really took off. Hah. What a big joke then. Their debut ended before they could even start. They might be new characters making their first appearance in the spinoff but sadly I don’t know much about their personality at all compared to the tesagure girls. Is Rin supposed to be the dumb one? The one who also eats a lot? Kanon definitely looks like the oujo-sama type while Hiina the intellectual type. Because you know, glasses. Can’t put my finger on Tomomi except that she is half Russian and Yui as the bisexual personality is what gets stuck in my mind. Oddly, during the Charm girls’ discussion, the tesagure members can be seen as eavesdropping and commenting on their talk outside the building. A reminder that this is still a tesagure show? One thing to note on Tomomi, I’m not sure what is the deal with her character or her seiyuu as she is often missing in some, if not the important segments like the Yuriwolf and Tesagure Grand Prix. Not sure if there is any scheduling conflict but it feels like we’ve been cheated without her character around and the fun lessened. That’s why there’s always an apology recording after that. Oh well, show is over. Now you’re free to do anything else you want. Plus, the tesagure girls being the veterans in this adlib area, have more experience so they own the Charm girls any time.

Last but not least there is Mobuko and her clones, oops, I mean her sisters and sextuplets. It would have been much easier to say they are all clones because saying they are sisters and sextuplets sound so far-fetched. Not even fantasy sci-fi writers could come up with this absurdity. Anyway, Mobuko seems to be like the fringe member of the tesagure club and only pops up whenever she is needed to. Hence, the only place where she has a decent limelight is the next episode preview (which isn’t so much of a next episode preview by the way) of the spinoff. In this segment, we see various and all her various incarnations from grandma to professor to her versions of herself from the future and even a demon king all come together for who knows what. Definitely a mob of Mobukos. Yeah, maybe that’s all the screen time she can actually get so they squeeze it all into this nonsensical section here. No matter how many of you there are and from what time period, stay united, Mobuko.

Art and animation are entirely used using CGI. I won’t say it is hideous but because this isn’t some highly intense action packed series, you won’t really feel the difference here. Although Yaoyorozu produces this series, I believe it is the same Bouncy studio who later did Himote House. Yeah, the CGI quality didn’t really improve. And by making it a joke and also breaking the fourth wall, hence we somewhat accepted that the low quality animation is okay. So low that the girls are the only things that are animated. Everything else is pretty much not animated. Heck, other unimportant extra characters are just some coloured shades and even if there are those drawn properly, they aren’t animated and are just like paper cut-outs. Yeah, this is definitely new. Not sure if there is rotoscoping because like in the spinoff when the girls visit the zoo, the animals are animated in somewhat a surreal way.

Voice acting department, I guess they’re all really talented despite I don’t really recognize them all. For them to pull off the adlib parts flawlessly, I wonder if they have done a few takes before because it all sounds perfect. But I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt and believe they are really talented seiyuus. The casts are Asuka Nishi as Yua (Shinobu in Kiniro Mosaic), Satomi Akesaka as Hina (Esdeath in Akame Ga Kill), Karin Ogino as Aoi (Nyarin in Himote House is her only other voice acting role), Koharu Tanaka as Koharu (Momoka in Sabagebu), Kaoru Mizuhara as Mio (Misao in Lucky Star), Shiori Mikami as Rin (Krista in Shingeki No Kyojin), Mikako Komatsu as Hiina (Neko in K), Rumi Okubo as Kanon (Chinatsu in YuruYuri), Natsumi Takamori as Yui (Yuzu in Sunohara-sou No Kanrinin-san) and Sumire Uesaka as Tomomi (Sanae in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai). I wonder if Reina Ueda as Mobuko (Ayado in 3D Kanojo Real Girl) got the raw end of the stick. Sure, all her Mobuko sisters and other incarnations are voiced by her. Even the credits page ‘spammed’ her name next to all voiced characters. But then again, being the character with the least proper screen time, I guess this makes it up to show her versatile voice acting. Especially that spinoff next episode preview.

For a series that spans 3 different seasons, they sure used the same opening theme, Stand Up might be the original for the first 2 seasons sung by the quartet of the tesagure club but in the spinoff, Yappari Stand Up is pretty much the same song but just add the quintet of the Charm girls. This song is kept ‘fresh’ because each opening line is different and is just a short line of something random and nonsensical. First season’s ending theme, 12 Kagetsu by the tesagure quartet feels a bit out of place. Not saying that this slow and lovely ballad is bad because it’s not bad enough but after hearing all the nonsensical ideas, hearing them sing this song just feels a bit weird. But not as weird as the bad CGI of seeing them doing some dance in the snow!!! Second season’s ending theme is also basically the same but some change in the lyrics, Sorezore No 12 Kagetsu.

The main ending theme for the spinoff is Shikisai Crossroad by the tesagure and Charm girls. Another slow and lovely ballad that doesn’t sound too shabby. If you’re tired of the CGI animation, at least you can see the girls in overly cute chibi fashion in this ending credits animation. There are lots of special ending themes for the second and spinoff season but they only last a single episode. These character and collaboration songs reflect their characters so the song is somewhat tuned to them. I think my favourite one was the rock piece Aoi sang. The entire lyrics just went, “Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy Call Me Lazy”!!!! It’s so lazy that it’s new!!! The rest felt like generic slow ballads and anime pop idol style and anime rock outfits and didn’t really attract me.

Overall, a rather okay anime for me. The crazy ideas are supposed to be the jokes and punch line that are to make you go laughing till your stomach hurts. Well, some of them. Because in some jokes you can hear the girls really laugh out loud. Unfortunately with my limited vocabulary, it really does limited my ability to understand and appreciate all that they have contributed. Yeah, sad that I don’t even understand some of the dirty sex jokes and puns they made. Maybe I should join the club and the members can brainstorm and find ways for me to improve my Japanese. Aha. I got a new idea on how to improve my vocab. Watch French or American animated cartoons dubbed in Japanese! And then my interest suddenly shifts to western animation… No way! But that is so new and atarashii, right?!

OMG! OMG! OMG!!! HYPE! HYPE! HYPE SUPER HYPE!!! DOUBLE SUPER HYPE!!! IT’S FINALLY HERE! AGAIN! We’ve been waiting for this like forever! I don’t know why they did this by breaking up the third season into 2 parts and taking a cour’s break. Did they think we can’t handle the shocking truth and sheer awesomeness and we will die before the series reaches its conclusion? Don’t underestimate us! Because of that, just to be clear, Shingeki No Kyojin S3 part 2 is actually the second part of the third season and hence making it the fourth instalment of the TV series overall. Confusing? Nah. They did that with Shokugeki No Souma’s third season so I’m not surprised. But we’re not talking about cooking food here. We’re talking about Titans eating humans as food! GAWR!!!

Episode 50
Our usual gang is taking Eren to Shiganshina. They stumble into a Titan but thank goodness it is motionless thanks to the moonless night. Eren realizes his hands are shaking. You scared? You might not want to admit but everyone is too. Will this mission be a success or failure? Once they reach Shiganshina, everyone takes off to their positions. As Erwin narrates, everyone is wearing hoods because they do not know if there is an enemy in the midst so this is to also help conceal the real Eren and avoid him being directly targeted. Once everything is ready, Eren transforms into a Titan to plug the outer Wall Maria. Success. The world is completely sealed up. If something feels off because it’s too easy, damn right it is because Armin has done some investigating and realizes someone has been camping nearby. There could be at least 3 enemies and they might have seen them coming while camping on the wall. Erwin is impressed with his thinking and makes him in charge. Armin is awkward with this new chain of command but issues his first order to sniff out enemies. As he thinks and thinks and the soldiers could not locate them, he realizes the enemies could be hiding inside the wall and has the soldiers look for cavities near the wall. When one of them finally found a hole, Reiner pops out and kills this dude! Although Levi swiftly stabs his sword through his neck, Reiner didn’t die. He was a second quicker to activate his Titan power as he soon transforms into the Armoured Titan. This signals to all his other comrades outside. The Yeti Titan and all other Titans now surround the inner entrance of Shiganshina. Yeti Titan then throws a rock and seals off that inner entrance. Erwin realizes they want to prevent them from escaping via their horses.

Episode 51
Smaller Titans rush in to attack. But Erwin is puzzled. The enemies could have just killed the horses and wait until Survey Corps tire out and unable to fight back to capture Eren. Whatever their plans, Erwin’s goal now is to prevent their horses from being slaughtered. He orders Hange’s squad to take down the Armoured Titan and approves the use of Thunder Spears. Indeed Reiner’s goal is to kill the horses but seeing Eren running in the opposite direction, he knows this is a bait. However he is forced to take this bait because Eren might circle around and escape, thwarting their plans to capture him. Once that happens, they have no reason to stay back and fight. Eren and Reiner clash and the former has gotten and improved in his close quarter combat. So while Eren keeps Reiner busy, Hange has her team get ready the Thunder Spears. Flashback shows she used this powerful technology that was kept secret by the Military Police that gives them a fighting chance against the Armoured Titan. Once Eren has got Reiner in position, Hange and co drop in their first Thunder Spears. Their environment makes it advantageous for this to be used because the buildings can be used as anchor while using Thunder Spears that literally explodes upon contact. With Reiner in pain, the rest use their remaining Thunder Spears to finish him off.

Episode 52
Flashback shows when Eren first transformed into a Titan and plugged up the breach, Marco overheard Reiner and Bertolt’s plans. Though, he thought it was a joke. But then Reiner pinned him down and knew he was too clever to brush that off as a joke. He then forces reluctant Annie to remove his 3DMD to prove her warrior status. They then left devastated Marco to be eaten by a Titan. Oddly, Reiner’s split personality then made him go in shock upon seeing Marco getting devoured. Fast forward to moments before Erwin’s squad arrive at the wall. Reiner and Bertolt are talking to their boss, Zeke (the Yeti Titan) about recovering the Coordinate and ending this cursed history once and for all. Connie and Sasha crying over Reiner’s death? Wow. Must be real bros. But Reiner isn’t exactly dead. He manages to give a loud roar in which Yeti Titan throws a barrel over Shiganshina. This is where Bertolt is hidden. The plan is for him to transform into the Colossal Titan in mid-air. The explosion will cause all those around to perish. But the moment he sees Reiner, he goes down to him. His head might be blown off by Bertolt can tell he is still alive because using the Titan power, Reiner managed to transfer his consciousness to his nerves. Bertolt has made his resolve. He needs Reiner to just move a little. Armin wants to negotiate with Bertolt and even throws Annie’s name into it. But Bertolt knows this is just to buy time so the rest could kill Reiner for good (at this point, Reiner turned on his back, making it hard for the soldiers to kill him off). Bertolt mentions about their mission of capturing Eren and annihilation of all humans inside the walls. He doesn’t view his friends as evil but they will still have to die. Conversation ended with Mikasa trying to do a sneak attack on him but he got away. Then Bertolt goes into mid-air and transforms. The blast seems to have killed almost everyone in the squad except for our usual heroes. As the Colossal Titan, he is using debris of the buildings and raining them like projectiles. Armin’s plan is to retreat for now but when Jean points out Bertolt might set fire to the wall and make everyone stuck in between the fire and the Yeti Titan, Armin dreads the idea of defeating Bertolt right now.

Episode 53
Armin is so panic that he passes the leadership to Jean, believing he can make better judgment. Though quickly makes a decision to get near the river, he will still be counting on Armin to come up with the ultimate plan. Yeti Titan is now smashing rocks into smaller ones and throwing them. This takes out many of the soldiers. Almost everyone is wiped out except for Erwin, Levi and the new recruits. They are forced to take refuge at houses near the wall but at this rate, Yeti Titan will flatten all the houses and there will be no place left to hide. Bertolt is moving closer to the wall. Jean has Eren to distract him but Bertolt ignores him. In a desperate move, Eren tries to stop his feet but is easily kicked away like a football! The rest try to use Thunder Spears but it backfires as Bertolt releases his hot steam to deflect everything. Armin, how is that plan coming up? Nope? Ah sh*t. Reiner has fully been recovered too! Levi’s plan is for Erwin to wake up Eren, have him take as many people to escape. A demoralised soldier, Floch Forster then rants about the dream of becoming a hero but he realized too late when reality sinks in. They’re all going to die. Everything is for nothing. But Erwin has a plan that could have Levi take down Yeti Titan. He didn’t say it because it involves everyone else sacrificing their lives just to give him this chance. He will lead them to a suicide charge and so as to ‘convince’ the new recruits to die to him, he will lead the charge and die first. His only regret is not seeing what’s in the basement. So close yet so far. When Erwin is breaking down, you know sh*t has already hit the fan. Hence Levi has decided. Give up on your dreams and lead your men to death. In exchange he will slay the Yeti Titan. So we see Erwin giving one last ‘motivation’ speech for his soldiers to go out there and die. Sacrifice and meaning of lives, blah, blah, blah. You ready? Here we come! CHARGE!!! They fire their flares simultaneously so as to affect Yeti Titan’s aim. Meanwhile Levi goes around taking down the other giant Titans while what’s left of the Survey Corps acts as decoy.

Episode 54
Oh well. Erwin went down first. Now it’s a crazy charge to their deaths. Yeti Titan gets more and more angry each time he sees what’s left of the Survey Corps inch closer to their mindless death. Till there is none. By the time it’s over, he realizes the other Titans have fallen. Too late as Levi cuts everything up and pulls Zeke out. Levi hesitates to kill him because he is hoping for a single survivor to use that Titan transforming serum and eat this Yeti Titan to take his abilities. This causes a Titan to snatch Zeke away as Zeke orders the other Titans to kill Levi. Levi is only left with fury. His promise to Erwin… You Titans will pay! Ironically, Floch is the only survivor and unscathed… Armin has observed the Colossal Titan is getting thinner thanks to expending a lot of power. He now has a plan. He will wake up Eren. They will be enough take Bertolt down. The rest are to distract Reiner and keep him at bay. Reiner’s memories are still hazy. Mikasa and the rest have to cautiously use their limited Thunder Spears to take him out. The first part almost fails. Connie while nailing his Thunder Spear, Sasha misses and this also causes her to be wounded. Mikasa is carrying the last Thunder Spear. The goal to open Armoured Titan’s jaw has not succeeded. Time from Hange to return from being dead to plant her Thunder Spear and force open that jaw. Enough for Mikasa to blast her last one inside and send Reiner blowing out. Bertolt uses his steam to blow away Armin but he seems to be hanging on. His observations were right. Using his 3DMD to cling onto the Colossal Titan’s teeth that is the only part that isn’t affected by the thinning of the steam. Bertolt cannot understand why he is doing this. Eren is down and not moving and the rest are busy with Reiner. Armin hangs on until he is totally burnt and blown away. Bertolt then realizes that Eren Titan was just his hardening skin. Armin has bought enough time for Eren to get out as he slices Bertolt out of his Titan body. Sadly, Eren sees Armin’s charcoal corpse… Armin… NOOO!!!!!

Episode 55
No time for tears. Zeke arrives so Eren becomes defensive and threatens to kill Bertolt. Zeke claims Grisha has brainwashed him but will be back to save him another day since Levi is hot on his trail. Levi is out of gas and wants Eren to give his 3DMD. Then he hears Armin’s cough… Meanwhile Hange takes something from Reiner. A letter supposedly from Ymir to Historia. Because he won’t let them know what they want, Hange will kill him. Ironically Jean stops her. Why not use the serum and take his abilities? Hange cannot risk it so Jean argues how are they going to kill the enemy if they don’t know anything about them? Flashback shows Erwin explained to everyone about the serum. As it is the only one left, he left it in Levi’s care. Hange wants Mikasa to seek Levi and if for some reason she cannot get it, fire her flare. It will be her signal to kill Reiner. For the longest time we haven’t seen Mikasa this emotional as she sees Armin’s charred body. Eren arguing the need to use the serum on Armin to take Bertolt’s power. Mikasa fires the flare. Just then Zeke retrieves Reiner. Jean feels guilty it is his fault that led to this but Hange asserts the decision was hers. As Levi is about to give the serum to Eren, here comes Floch carrying Erwin on his back! Barely alive, he wants Levi to use the serum on their commander. Because Levi views Erwin as the one who has the highest chance to save humanity, it becomes a showdown between Erwin and Armin camp. Mikasa pins a weakened Levi down while Eren paints a picture of Armin being the brains and the one who got them out of all situations. Then Floch blows his top. They’re not the only victims. He relates how everyone else from the Survey Corps is dead from Yeti Titan’s baseball practice. When he returned, he noticed Erwin still breathing and wanted to kill him. Then he realized he shouldn’t let him go so easily and should suffer like them. That’s why he brought him to Levi. With Hange somehow managing to convince Mikasa to calm down because in that case there are hundreds of more comrades whom she wants to bring back alive, Levi has everyone clear the area as he will inject the serum into Erwin. Last ditch effort by Eren to talk about Armin’s dreams of the sea compared to his blinded hatred to kill all Titans just for revenge. No change of heart. As Levi prepares to do it, Erwin smacks his hand away. Levi thinks hard. In the end, we see a Titan Armin devouring a very scared Bertolt in his final moments. Levi’s reason to give the serum to Armin was his realization that it was everyone else who forced Erwin into a demon. He was finally freed but they almost brought him back for another round of hell. As Erwin kicks the bucket, the other friends pull a revived Armin out from his Titan shell.

Episode 56
Armin wakes and since his memories are still hazy, Levi has Eren explained all that has happened. Shocked at Erwin’s death and other developments, he too has the same thinking that Erwin should have been administered the serum. While it looks like Armin would be replacing Erwin as commander, it doesn’t mean he is Erwin’s substitute. Levi doesn’t want anybody regretting this decision and that’s an order. Now Levi, Hange, Eren and Mikasa head to Eren’s house. Walking through the abandoned streets, time to hit up the nostalgia. The moment of truth we’ve all been waiting for. What’s in the basement. The key… Doesn’t fit!!! Levi just kicks down the door! That was easy. You’d think Grisha would have given Eren the key to the lock of something flimsy, huh? So they search the basement but mostly are Grisha’s notes and medicines. Then Mikasa spots a keyhole in the drawer. This time the key fits. There are 3 journals that are very well preserved. Opening the first one, there is a photo of a family (note, photography is not known in this world, at least not to those living behind the walls). Behind the photo is a note claiming he is from a civilization outside the walls. Meanwhile news break that the Survey Corps have successfully retaken Wall Maria and the people erupt with joy as they prepare for the heroes’ return. We have a short glimpse of Grisha as a young boy living with his younger sister, Faye. They were curious about the airship so one day Grisha took her past the restricted zone to its landing strip.

Episode 57
The duo are caught by officers, Kruger and Gross. Because they don’t have exit permits from the Liberio Internment Zone, he gives them a choice of manual labour or punishment. Grisha chooses the latter and will also take it for Faye’s part. As Gross leads Faye away, Kruger beats him up and then lets him watch the airship. He came here for that, right? Next day, Faye’s body was found by the river. Gross and Kruger talked to Grisha’s parents and lecture them about raising their child right. Grisha is in shock because he knew the officers were lying as they were slacking off then. At that moment he started hating Gross and especially his father because he obeyed the authority’s words like a dog. Grisha’s dad then starts to indoctrinate him about the sins of their ancestors. 1820 years ago, Ymir Fritz made a pact with the devil and obtained the power of Titans. After her death, her soul split into 9 Titans who built the Eldia Empire. They then destroyed the Marley Empire just to rule over them and persecuted other races inferior to them. This went on until some Eldians conspire with the Marleyans to bring down Eldia from within. They managed to do so by stealing 7 of those Titans. The Eldian king retreated to an island known as Paradise Island and hid behind 3 walls he constructed with his people. The rest of the ancestors were abandoned on this mainland. But the generous Marleyans did not kill them. At this point, Grisha didn’t care all that BS because it’s a sin neither he and Faye committed. Father tells him it doesn’t matter. All they can do is live humbly in this zone and please don’t send them to Paradise Island. Grisha backs down and continued this mundane life, taking over his father’s medical practice. Until one day a guy comes to see him and has info about how Faye was killed (Gross let loose the dogs to devour her). These people are a small group of Eldian revolutionists and are planning to restore the old Eldia Empire. Grisha soon became the leader, even go so far as to decipher the real history how Ymir actually brought prosperity to all nations. The revolutionists also receive a boost with the joining of Dina Fritz, the last surviving member of the royal family. Grisha fell in love with her and they get married. Soon they have a son named Zeke.

The revolutionist has an informant working inside Marley only known as Owl and they discover that the Marley side also has plans to infiltrate Paradise Island as it is rich in minerals. However the then Eldian king warned if they do so, millions of Titans will be unleashed upon them. That is why the Marleyan government is selecting children in an experiment to become Titans to storm the island. Grisha realize they have only an option left. He is going to use Zeke and make him a double agent in Marley. Like father, like son. History repeats itself as Grisha indoctrinates Zeke. However this backfired as Zeke rats them out. The revolutionists are brought to Paradise Island. One of the guys is dropped and left running for his life while his other partners turned into Titans to chase after him. Grisha becomes dismayed when Dina is also turned into one. He is shocked that the deal was to let her free after he told everything he knows but I guess that didn’t happen. Making it worse, Kruger and Gross are here. More disgusting is how Gross mentions he is doing this because it is fun and shows no remorse in killing others. Especially Faye. Ah, nobody forgets that day. We take a short detour to see Eren and Mikasa dreaming this same dream in their insubordination cell. Back to the story, with Gross hoping for the complete annihilation of Eldia, Grisha thought this is the end for him but Kruger pushes Gross down and lets him get devoured by the Titan. Not so fun now, eh? Kruger then reveals himself as Owl. Why am I not surprised? Then he shows Grisha how to use the Titan power as he himself transforms into one and goes on a rampage.

Episode 58
Kruger explains more about himself. His full name is Eren Kruger and the bearer of one of the 9 Titans. In other words, a subject of Ymir. Kruger managed to infiltrate into Marley because of the help of a doctor fabricating his blood result. Grisha blames him for letting everyone else die but Kruger gives Grisha his final mission. He wants him eat him and take his Titan power to storm into the walls and steal the Founding Titan’s power. Kruger can’t do it himself because those who bear the Titan’s power only have 13 years to live. This is called Ymir’s Curse. Guess this is his final year. Kruger goes on further to explain his father was also part of the resistance but died without achieving anything since the Marleyans burnt him alive. Since then he vowed to get revenge on Marley and restore Eldia. However by doing so he has only sent many of his brethren to death just to keep his identity safe. More explanations on Ymir’s Curse that if a bearer dies without passing on the power, that power awakens within a baby among the Ymir subjects. In some way, all of Ymir’s subjects are connected. Eventually all those paths converge at a single coordinate: The Founding Titan. Thus all Ymir subjects are connected by the Coordinate. Grisha wonders why Kruger didn’t help Dina even though she is of royal blood. He couldn’t afford to let her fall into enemy hands. Because it would be messed up if she bears the child of the enemy nation. Grisha is now depressed and feeling all the guilt that he tries to give excuses he can’t do this final mission. Kruger tells him the reason why he chose Grisha is because he was the only one who went past the walls. Had he not taken Faye past the walls, he would have inherited his father’s medical practice and Faye might have grown up and bore children. However this is reality and the story he started ever since he went past that wall. The Titan power he is about to take has a name like with all the 9 Titans. This Titan moves forward and fights for freedom and is hence called, wait for it, Attack Titan AKA Shingeki No Kyojin! Roll credits!

Eren and Mikasa’s imprisonment has ended. They are taken to see Historia who will have an audience with the surviving members of Survey Corps. We see her reading a letter from Ymir. Nothing really important except her regrets of picking the other side instead of her and not being able to marry her. I don’t think it was meant to be a joke. Historia seems to receive Ymir’s memories when she touches part of the letter. With the journals, the truth about the Titans and human civilization is now known. Hange addresses the audience in the hall about the true enemies not being Titans but humans of the entire world. As they are able to transform into Titans, it is a reason why the world wants them eradicated. If Marley get their hands on the Founding Titan, it is all over for Eldia. Grisha thought the king will not let that happen but unfortunately as Kruger states, the king has renounced fighting. Hence the million Titans threat was just a ruse to keep other nations from attacking while he hypnotizes his own people that the outside world is decimated so they could live in this fake peace. Kruger views a king who doesn’t protect his people is now king and that’s why he wants Grisha to seize the Founding Titan from within the walls. Grisha completed that mission and passed it to Eren. Any royal descendants who inherit the Founding Titan’s power becomes subordinated to the king. Eren is not of royal blood and he may have potential to use this power. That is when Eren realizes something very important. He has not told anybody about this. The Titan who killed his mom and Hannes was Dina. Eren realizes by touching a Titan that carries the blood of the royal family, it is possible to use the Founding Titan’s power. If he tells anybody about it, what would they do to Historia? Lastly we see Kruger telling Grisha to start a family once he gets inside the walls. He believes someone down the line will be watching this. If he can’t do that, history will only repeat itself.

Episode 59
With this newfound information, the hall is divided whether to tell the public as it will create chaos. However if they withhold this, would they be no better than the previous king who lied to his subjects? Hence Historia announces to release all the details to public. There are various reactions from shock to laughing it off and it is all just hogwash conspiracy theory. Well, you do what you want with the info. There will be an award ceremony for the Survey Corps and to honour the fallen. Surprisingly Hitch attends but I figure this is so that Floch could tell how Marlo died a hero. However he might have said too much that Marlo could have regretted his last moments there. But it’s the truth. I think Hitch can’t take any more of that. But this has Floch now questioning that everyone would have come to the same conclusion after reading all this: Why wasn’t Erwin the one alive. Despite Eren trying to speak up for Armin, Floch gets honest. Sure, Armin is not his friend and he knows nothing about his achievements. He blames them for making Levi make an irrational decision because they let their emotions take over. Eren might think he did the right thing and is dead set on it, that’s why he isn’t remorseful. Medals and awards don’t matter. What matters next if they tell the truth to the next set of Survey Corps recruits. Don’t you dare let cowards like him sign up. But no matter how useless a coward is, he is still entitled to his own opinions. As Historia gives out the medals, Eren is still indecisive. He isn’t willing to sacrifice Historia yet. Touching her hand, we see glimpse of Grisha’s flashback when he managed to find Frieda and her family. He explained about being the same as them as Eldians and subjects of Ymir. He warned her to kill all Titans that breach the will or their people will die. A year after the attack on Trost, all the refugees are returned there and life in the district blooms again. The Survey Corps are able to exterminate every Titan and then venture outside Wall Maria. They spot a crawling Titan and Eren can tell its origin by touching it. Another Eldian sent here as punishment. They just leave it there since it can’t do anything. The long journey finally leads them to the ocean. The first time everyone is amazed and stunned by this endless huge body water. Everyone except for Eren. Maybe he seen it too many times in his father’s memories? But despite everyone frolicking like kids in the water, Eren puts on his gloom cap. Because he once thought freedom awaits them across the ocean. But he is wrong. There lies only enemies. Would they be truly free if they kill every last one of their enemies? So it is no longer kill all Titans but kill all non-Eldian humans???!!!

Clash Of The Titans
OMG! WTF?! Only 10 episodes for this second part. Oh man, I’m so ‘disappointed’… But nothing says hype and much more hype when the final season of the series is announced. Uh huh. You can’t get more hype than that when you add ‘final season’ into your title. Oh boy. That is sure going to drive up the hype and excitement. Don’t forget all the anxiety and worrying too along the way. Now I am ever so eager to watch the final season… There had better be some good animes to keep my company while I wait for that very anticipated final season to arrive… Or a whole load of crappy ones which will just make me fully appreciate this truly awesome and superb masterpiece when the time comes and thus making the painstaking wait worthwhile.

This season is still so amazing and awesome that I might sound like a broken recorder if I continue to praise everything about it all over again. But I’m so lazy so please read my previous blog ;p. This series is one of the very few and rare anime series that I have watched throughout my entire life in which the next season gets better and better. So many other series have fallen to the wayside to even live up to their second season but this one is still going strong. And my only ‘fear’ of all this is because of the hype and excitement that has been building up over the years, the final season would come out sputtering. I know it’s wrong for me to be so negative even when I haven’t even started to watch the final season yet but this anxiety originates from that Game of Thrones final season… Yeah… Remember that fiasco? I didn’t see that HBO series but because of the disappointment of the final season, it left a negative impact (comments and criticisms alike) so great on the impact that even I had taken notice. So can you blame me for being so negative when there is already a precedent that something so great can even stumble so hard? Yeah, I guess better than never getting a conclusion at all.

Besides the awesome Titan action in retaking Wall Maria, this season we have some few shocking developments like the death of Erwin (as well as Bertolt) as well as finally the damn truth. Finally we get to see what is in the basement that has been a nagging thorn to us viewers. The truth of course but I was expecting to be some sort of hologram device with audio to narrate the entire true history! Haha. Just kidding. The history of the real world is indeed interesting and sometimes it feels like a big fairytale. But then again, remember the characters who have been living within the walls are as good as the frog who lived in a well. It was also shocking that Erwin had really died. Honestly, I thought that guy would never die. At least because he is such an important figure and reeking that charismatic aura that is on par with the main character, they can’t kill him off, right? I was wrong. His guilt and reflection of standing atop the corpses of his fellow Survey Corps to get where he is seemed like a death flag now… Oh well, rest in peace, Erwin. Because of his sacrifice, we’ve come to where we are right now. So it’s not just Erwin who won’t know the truth but all those dead Survey Corps who died previously too. Maybe they’ll learn the truth as they watch in heaven… Hey, we got a history here talking about gods and demons and Titan powers so why not our departed souls watching from heaven?! Also, RIP Marlo… So with the big revelation about the people of the world, come to think of it, isn’t this entire series just one big civil war among the Eldians? Yeah, they have to be united before they can face the entire world who wants them dead!

Possibly the ‘funniest’ realization is when they gave this Titan that Kruger gave Grisha, a name. Not so much funny if you’re Japanese but if you know the official English title is called Attack On Titan. And now we have this roll call that this Titan’s name is Attack Titan. Both carry entirely different meaning literally. Japanese won’t have any problems but we English speakers might be left confused. Truthfully, even when this official English title came out when this series first aired, I was even sceptical of how this naming sense even made sense. Attacking Titan would have been such a better and accurate translation but I guess it doesn’t sound as cool as Attack On Titan. After all, Attack On Titan shows us from the viewpoints of the heroes doing just that whereas Attack Titan would also still be correct but sounds a lot lamer. And now with this revelation on why the series is named so, it would be weird for the English side to officially change it so. If this was some subtle way for us not to figure this out, then in some ways it worked. We didn’t see this coming, right? Did we?!

This season Eren doesn’t feel like a wuss because I guess when you’ve been such a big wimp last season, he has somewhat hardened his heart and resolve to end all this crap. So thankfully he does his mission well that ultimately helped the Survey Corps regain Wall Maria and obtain the Colossal Titan’s power. It was a scary moment for us when Eren and Levi almost go head to head over who to save with this last serum. After all that they have been through, this one little decision on who decides who to live could have become the biggest deal breaker and it would have been really heart wrenching for us all if that fallout and bloodshed actually happened. We don’t need another ‘civil war’. We have already seen that when Reiner, Bertolt and Annie have defected and what is left of the Survey Corps is threatened to split apart even more? Wow. It was sure scary. Mikasa still kicks ass and like in previous seasons, isn’t so overprotective over Eren.

Armin and Jean try to showcase their leadership and thinking skills and I think they’re cool but somehow I feel it is to give them some screen time. Same case with Connie and Sasha. Can’t be jokers in this time of distress. Though, (thankfully) Sasha is still Sasha despite being gravely injured. Historia so lacking this season because she is already queen (she still think it’s unofficial?) since last season she already had her run so I guess she now has to play her real duty instead of going on a dangerous adventure. One last note on Armin, I know he feels guilty about being alive in Erwin’s place but he better not turn into an annoying one because it will also start to influence and make me think that yeah, perhaps Erwin SHOULD have been the one to live! It’s like as though he doesn’t value the second chance he has been given. He might not be able to be as charismatic as Erwin or come up plans that will assure victory but I’m sure in time something will change and happen. Like how we see a year later Eren has grown his hair a bit longer and he looks slightly mature and giving off this gloom face. Haha! Yeah… So Armin, don’t make us all believe including yourself regret that decision to be alive! Please, just don’t. We want to face this reality and move on already.

Remember how last season I complained that the opening song sounded like a wuss? Sounded so gay that it took away all the epic feeling that defined the series? Well, probably they heard my complaints (and from others as well) so they decide to go back to that trademark epic theme. Yes, Shoukei To Shikabane No Michi (once more sung by Linked Horizon) might sound like a copy and paste of its predecessors, Guren No Yumiya and Shinzou Wo Sasageyou (just change the lyrics!) but I guess I must live up to my promise not to complain about it. Better to have this than some gay sounding sh*t! This season’s ending theme, Name Of Love by Cinema Staff is a slow ballad. It might sound unsuitable for the series at first but after watching the events unfold and all the madness that had happened, I think this homecoming-like song is definitely fitting to wind down.

Oh well. I suppose it is that time again where we have to wait for the final season to arrive and it is that agonizing moment of waiting again. But it is good to know that good things come to those who wait. So just a little while more, okay… But for now, I’ll have to be contended with this amazing second part of the third season that left me breathless and yearning for more. Amazing Titan action as well as intriguing story have certainly defined this season. At this point, I can safely and definitely say that Shingeki No Kyojin is definitely the top and best anime series that I have watched in recent years. Even ousting One Punch Man and Boku No Hero Academia per se. Even Gintama too. Once this series truly ends, it will be difficult to find another series to top and replace this masterpiece, let alone get even close to it. As Erwin said about everyone dying one day and this doesn’t mean life is meaningless, I’d like to modify that: Even if no other series outshines or surpasses this one, it doesn’t mean all animes are crap or inferior! (Although, some definitely are!).

Oh my. Looks like it is the fireman’s turn. A fireman’s turn to f*ck his woman in this mini hentai! This isn’t the first uniformed personnel to get its porn treatment since we had that prison guard one a few seasons ago. But nevertheless, Yubisaki Kara Honki No Netsujou Osananajimi Wa Shouboushi feels like a trap than mere coincidence because in that same season we had another fireman themed series, Enen No Shouboutai. Is fireman the in-thing this season? Those who were currently watching that supernatural sci-fi may be confused stumbling into this one and then, gotcha! WTF is this f*cking sex porn???!!! Then you start jerking off so fast that your dick is on fire and you have to call the fire force to put out this blazing passion! HAHAHA!!! Sighs… Oh boy…

Episode 1
Ryou Fujihashi isn’t enjoying her gathering with her old friends. Especially Souma Mizuno who is teasing her and that he is some sort of a womanizer. That night she wakes up as she hears sirens. Her place is on fire! Trapped, she calls for help but soon laments succumbing to her fate. That is when Souma as a fireman breaks him to rescue her. Even protecting her from a falling cupboard! When it’s over, he scolds him for not continuing to make noise because he thought she was dead. With no place to stay, he invites her to stay at his place. And in no time she makes it like her own home and even marks her territory? When she sees his back injury, she feels bad but crosses the line. Literally. Because now that she enters his ‘territory’, he rapes her! WTF?! So this is how it starts? Literally fingering her and she feels so good. Since she cannot be the only one to have fun, I guess he starts unzipping his pants. Don’t worry. He won’t penetrate her. Just using her thighs. Even so, Ryou feels so good?! Damn porn logic. Oh sh*t. Now you cum all over your bed. You sleeping there tonight?

Episode 2
Since Souma is having his day off, he accompanies Ryou to get her paper work done among other things. On their way home, it suddenly rains. Time to prepare for bath. Oh dear. I can see where this is going. Because while Ryou is taking a shower, suddenly Souma comes in! I know it’s his home but has he got no respect for women in the bath?! Damn, porn logic… Obviously his switch is turned on so he starts fondling her. Especially using the shower head to gush the water into her sensitive areas. Oh yeah. B*tches like her always feel good no matter what, no? Even if she says no, her body seems to indicate otherwise. That is all Souma needs to continue making out with her. Sex interrupted when the power goes out. Saved by the outage. Uh huh. Ryou starting to think had this not happened, she would have gone all the way. And I’m not so surprised even if it did. Ryou returns to work as her colleagues are glad she is back. Oh, what’s this? They’re having a fire evacuation drill today? Oh man…

Episode 3
Yup, that fireman over there… That’s Souma. During the drill, a colleague, Megumi Sasahara clumsily sprays the fire extinguisher over Ryou. Don’t worry. Souma has got spare clothes. Damn, I can see where this is going. As she changes, Souma has noticed Ryou has been avoiding him ever since so he forces himself on her to spill the beans. Or else? She gets raped! So of course, porn logic dictates that it is better to get your modesty outraged than telling the truth. The truth of either his dick feels good inside her or that she loves him. Or both. The extreme molestation even continues when Megumi comes in to check on her. Uh huh. Souma continues to rape her and unfortunately Megumi can’t even tell with that shaky voice there is something wrong. Just a mild assurance is enough to send her away. Oddly, after Ryou cums, she has enough strength to just kick him out? The firemen discuss about the upcoming fireworks and want to invite some girls over. Yuuki Izumi and Jun Hase know Souma is having a fight with Ryou and tease him about it. Since Souma continues to deny, Hase then hints some yaoi gay moments with him if he keeps acting like an idiot. Souma sees Ryou and you know how women like her don’t learn her lesson because it sounds like all is forgiven if he sounds a bit apologetic and then invites her to the fireworks festival. Next rape set in motion…

Episode 4
I guess everything is okay when he agrees to do whatever she wants so as to make it up to her. Don’t believe those lies!!! At the festival, they spot Hase. Seems he is troubled that a restaurant he is looking for is now closed. Ryou remembers they just shifted to a new place nearby and offers to take him there. After guiding him there, Hase asks if she is dating Souma. Nope. Just a childhood friend. In that case, can he date her? Nice joke, buddy. Ryou returns to Souma in one piece and this guy bought a beautiful hairpin for her. Yeah, is this part of the ticket to her heart pussy? They find a secret spot to watch the fireworks alone. Souma pretty much praising everything he admires about Ryou. Is this to get her defence down? Because when the fireworks start, pretty much the cue for him to start molesting her. Ryou is shocked. This isn’t what she had in mind when he said he’ll make it up to her. Blame yourself for not foreseeing this. Ryou getting her orgasm by a handsome macho guy underneath the beautiful fireworks display… Wow. Everything so perfect. No wonder she can’t complain…

Episode 5
Now we have penetrative sex. This is one of those rare times where the sound effects (the fireworks in this case) does a bad job in covering up the important words the characters want to say (Ryou’s moaning in this case). And then they cum together. What does Souma have to say after all that? That’s a nice yukata on her. A little late… And with Ryou thinking she might be falling for him, hence inviting him to the beach? Uh huh. Nothing says that more than to further test whether you’re in love with this guy. Or maybe she just really wants his dick. Of course it won’t be just them as it will be with their friends. They play beach volleyball and prior to that, Hase makes a bet with the other guys that the winner will get the right to approach the girls. Though it is ‘publically announced’ that the loser will clean the BBQ pit. Souma is sad since he isn’t paired with Ryou. Yeah, she’s paired with Hase and she is going all out to win! Oh, and she mentions she did play volleyball during her high school. Can’t have her winning, right? Does femdom sound right for this series? Will Souma finally get his just desserts?

Episode 6
Hase is getting along with Ryou pretty well. Yeah, it’s like the end of the world for Souma. Even during BBQ and preparing the fireworks, it’s like they’ve been friends for a long time. But you know this has to stop. Because Hase asks Ryou to date him. Souma is just her childhood friend, right? I guess this has her thinking. Later as Ryou and Souma are putting away the stuffs, Ryou thinks nobody will be using the pool and jumps in. Just like that? Is she trying to get wet in all sense?! Then Souma jumps in and starts f*cking her! I guess he is pretty wet too! Fireworks starting. Déjà vu cue to make out. Yeah, sex in the swimming pool. Nothing says reigniting your pseudo love with a hot pool sex. Then she notes how big Souma’s hands when he fingers her. Because it makes me think which is bigger: Souma’s finger or his dick???!!! Haha!

Episode 7
Ryou thinks something is wrong with herself to let Souma f*ck her like that. Yeah, it’s called you’re a horny thirsty wet b*tch! Haha! Oops… Anyway, with Ryou giving him ‘permission’ to go all in, I hope Souma’s cum don’t flow back out and contaminate the pool. Ryou asks how he feels for her. If he is just her childhood friend. Before he can answer, they have to split since people are coming back. But Ryou can look forward to an answer when he invites her out on her day off. As Ryou walks by the community centre, she notices an arsonist. Right away she calls Souma (shouldn’t she call the police?!) but the arsonist spots her and chases her. She looks like she has hid well from him but the script says she must screw up and be caught. Dumb arsonist tries to strangle her but luckily Souma is able to tackle him. Wow. Is the fire station close by for Souma to arrive this fast? Even if there is a fire reported at a nearby factory, can Souma actually know where the f*ck Ryou was? I mean, she was being strangled in the alley! Of course duty over love as Souma goes to put out the fire and search for survivors. As his team caries them out, suddenly the fire spreads and locks them in. Oh no!

Episode 8
Last episode’s cliff-hanger… Nothing happens! Everybody gets out fine. Somehow. Hey, this is not a fire rescue drama. When Souma returns home, Ryou is so happy he is fine. He spots a bruise on her feet and starts to lick it. Are you sure about starting on this feet fetish? Then he tries to get it on with her but of course everything that has happened so far has confused the hell out of her. To put it shortly, she thinks he wants an easy girl to have sex with and ironically despite her claims she is otherwise, why does she let him do her in? Doesn’t that make her easy? And of course, cue for Souma to reassure her that he only wants to have sex with her. Still not convince? Spam I love you until she gives in. Oh yeah. I guess that’s enough confusion for today. Now is the cue to have sex! Feel it, baby! Let it go deep inside you! Oh yeah. Is this love she is feeling?! In the aftermath, they continue dating. Happy ever after. The end.

You Can Never Ever Extinguish The Flames Of Horniness!
Heh. That was it. Everything felt so rush and cheap. And once again porn logic telling us that once you’ve f*cked a woman enough times, she will eventually fall for you. Oh Ryou, now you can be part of that statistic. I’m sure their sex is going to get more intense after this and that now they are dating. Because going by that same logic, sex = love, right? Oh well, as long as they’re happy f*cking each other and we enjoy seeing them having intercourse, all’s well ends well.

I suppose there is nothing to tell and no storyline whatsoever. Heh. A plot in hentai flicks? But what I’m trying to say is that, last season’s washer hentai had only 8 episodes. This season seems to follow that pattern of having again only 8 episodes. Because when you have been watching this kind of series ever since this weird trend started about 2 years ago, you somewhat expect more or less the same thing. The girl gets f*cked in every episode and even had this series had the basic 12 episodes, we are going to expect the girl getting f*cked in those episodes too. After all, what else were you expecting when you watch this series? It would be more shocking had an episode not feature that kind of sex at all. And so it is not the number of episodes, but the f*cking quality! Oh yeah. Was the f*cking scenes exciting? Well, if you ask me, pretty meh. I’m so immune at this point that I’m starting to worry that such normal vanilla sex may no longer be appealing to me! Gasp! A sign I should stop watching such genres? Well you know me…

And so as you can expect, this season’s porn series didn’t make any impact on me at all. I’m now feeling like an old broken tape recorder saying the same things over and over again. It’s that timely reminder like you would expect me to say at this point. Uh huh. You know, how the woman lets the man f*ck her and do as his wish with her body and pussy just because he makes her feel good. Added bonus that they are childhood friends so you bet that relationship brings in some confusion to her. Yeah, I know this dude and he isn’t exactly a total stranger. Should I let him f*ck or not? Oops. Too late. His dick is already in my pussy. And it feels so damn good!!!! Hahaha!!! Yeah. That’s how I felt watching each time Ryou lets Souma f*ck her. You can never beat porn logic. I wonder if they were making a pun when they decided to use this fireman theme this time. Because putting out fire leads to rekindling of the old flame… Then sex ensues… Damn porn logic!

They try to put in a little bit of drama because Ryou’s colleague-cum-buddy has been hinting he is interested in Ryou. But this as expected amounts to nothing. So I have 2 theories for why this is so. Firstly, with somebody interested in the girl you have been f*cking with, it speeds up the need that you need to ‘claim’ this ‘sex object’. Instead of the status quo of Souma and Ryou having a loveless sexual relationship, at least when they become official, it is like the stamp that allows others to take notice not to touch your girl (unless you’re into cheating but that’s a whole different matter). The faster the better. My other theory is that Hase isn’t really interested in Ryou but noticing that Souma is dragging his feet on this, he makes his move so that Souma is forced to move. Either way, you bet Souma and Ryou get closer one f*ck at a time. Hahaha!

Even if this is basic straight hetero porn, some scenes here suggest there may be yaoi BL. Especially that one scene of Hase cornering Souma suggestively. Thankfully no yaoi gay sex here because it would have been really weird and sick if Hase is revealed to actually have a crush on Souma!!! WTF???!!! DON’T WANT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! Phew. Sorry for you BL fans if you got your hopes up. Because of the firemen are very muscular and buffed, it does give off that vibe that there may be BL. After all, you see the promotional poster having our 3 fireman guys posing sexily and shirtless, showing off their godly abs. I would have thought so and gave this series a pass did I not read the synopsis carefully. And a few times. Also, looking at how big and buff Souma and his fire fighting buddies, I thought they were those muscular guys from Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru, another anime that aired in the same season. Heh. So… Enen No Shouboutai x Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru + hentai = Yubisaki Kara Honki No Netsujou Osananajimi Wa Shouboushi! Unfortunately I didn’t get to measure with Souma’s buffed size, his dick would equally be in correlation and super huge! Haha! Yeah, those censors ‘ruined’ my perspective. But nah. It would have hurt Ryou so much, know what I’m saying?

The art and animation looks pretty standard. That itself is pretty good for a hentai genre. Yeah, perhaps I wasn’t really paying close attention since my eyes were more often rolling at the porn logic and when the main characters start making out. Really! I guess Studio Houkiboshi who is producing their first ever anime, they might want to get things off at the right footing. But I want to note that if there was an eyebrow raising factor other than the porn logic, it would be the ending theme, Blazing Luv. It sounds weird. So weird that it is close to being bad. Because it sounds like a mess with the dubstep in the background and then our fireman trio who sing this piece sound as flat as ever. Yeah, some weird synthesizer effects in some parts too. Had this piece being sung by better professional (AKA better sounding) voices and to a different beat and pace, it might have sounded a lot better. Though, the tune itself is generic but passable by my standards.

Overall, this is another usual mediocre anime hentai for the season. Despite me b*tching about how bad this sort of genre is, I guess it only shows my hypocrisy because I’m still watching these shows. Hey, if I don’t watch it, I’ll never come to this conclusion of how bad this pseudo hentai animes would be like. And now I can truly say they are because I’ve watched most of them. Heh. That doesn’t make me happy at all nor do should I feel proud about it. And now that we have the firemen being tainted, time will only tell when other professions like police officers, doctors, soldiers and even lawyers will get their turn in this. I am sure this anime won’t give people the wrong impressions about fireman. Maybe a small number will but for the big normal majority, we won’t be calling the emergency hotline for them to come rushing and put out our blazing flame of luv…!!! Remember, people. Please be responsible when calling for emergencies and also when having sex.

Circlet Princess

October 6, 2019

Time for another made up futuristic sci-fi team sport. The last time I watched Ao No Kanata No Four Rhythm, I wasn’t really impressed. It was weird despite they tried to create something creative. But that series didn’t get any sort of follow up or sequel since its run back in 2016. And now we have yet another futuristic sci-fi team sport, Circlet Princess. In this world, we assume that VR technology has advanced so much that we are able to create this bizarre sport that only females seem to participate. And yeah, the typical story of a fallen powerhouse in the sport making a comeback because of a talented ace joining in. Yeah, the story is as cliché as you can get and not made up.

Episode 1
Oh yeah. Circlet Bout (CB) is all the rage now, right? Chikage Fujimura from Kurojishi Academy is the top dog with a 50 match winning streak. However as revealed in the backstage, everything has been a setup. You mean like WWE? Understandably Chikage is bored but as her manager puts it, she is free to go all out with the next rookie opponent she faces. It’s all part of the show anyway. Since there is still some time before the match, she goes out for a walk. Meanwhile, country bumpkin retard, Yuka Sasaki just arrived in the big city. Wow. Everything so futuristic! Plot cliché commands her to be awed by the awesome poster girl of CB who is no other than Chikage. She is supposed to meet up with someone but gets enthralled and followed signs that leads her to the CB stadium. Along the way, she meets Chikage in disguise. Blah, blah, blah. Outside the stadium, some stupid girl mistakes her to be the Candita (player) from St Union Academy and rushes to get her ready. Yeah, without checking anything, right? Because Yuka is a dumb retard, she accepts. Yeah, everything will work out somehow, no? In the ring, Chikage and Yuka see each other. Is this fate? You can tell Yuka has all the beginner’s luck as she blocks Chikage’s offence and dodges. Wow. This is getting exciting for you huh, Yuka? Chikage must be really frustrated thinking she isn’t as strong as a champion she thought she is, huh? The match end is cut off and we fast forward 2 years later. She is ecstatic to enrol at St Union, the school of her dreams. Meanwhile Miyuki Kasahara and Ayumu Aizawa are at their wits end to revive their club. I don’t think making a cheap video will somehow generate views. Will it?! Coincidentally they stumble upon a clip about that legendary CB match 2 years ago that put Chikage in a pinch. Then they see Yuka in the flesh having problems with the robot security. Why do they look like they’re trying to rape her if they’re just asking for her student ID she is unable to produce? Luckily the duo manage to help her out and hence their chance to ask her to join their club. But first, Yuka sees Reina Kuroda who is the student council president. She instantly gets shot down because there is no CB club at St Union. Oh sh*t! Say what?! Her dreams come crushing down but Yuka refuses to budge and continues bugging Reina?! WTF?! Yuka returns to her dorm and coincidentally this is also where Ayumu stays. Ayumu realizes she is that Yuka 2 years ago and believes this could be something big. Flashback 2 years ago again. The match ended abruptly because the power was cut. Due to system error, Chikage postponed their match. So next time, huh? What a way to set fate rolling.

Episode 2
Continuing from that episode, as Yuka leaves to the backstage, the strange announcer confronts her and claims she has potential, blah, blah, blah. So she gives her a bracelet that will certainly have her reunite with Chikage one day. Yeah, that’s good enough a promise and motivation for Yuka to totally get interested in this. Because if you think you can’t achieve something, try until you can! Yeah, I really love that quote… Now, Yuka continues to bug Reina. She’ll make a new club then. Rejected! Please don’t rape her if she rejects, Yuka! Later Yuka meets up with Miyuki and Ayumu and realize they are part of CB club. Unofficial club, that is. Oh yeah. Now she can play. But first, it’s Miyuki’s turn to go bug Reina to approve their club and they just need a couple of members. She hopes Reina can join since she used to play CB but of course, the b*tch declines. Ayumu shows Yuka that legendary clip. You mean she didn’t know it is online? Oh yeah, the rural areas don’t have internet. She plays dumb since she doesn’t want to be busted as that accidental player who was there. The trio practice CB. Ayumu the computer whiz cannot analyse Yuka’s strange circlet weapon. The practice is interrupted with Reina once again using her authority to stop all unauthorized activities. They just got a slap on the wrist with house arrest? The moment they are back, Yuka is seen trying to recruit new members via old fashion way: Handling out pamphlets. And she gets into Reina trouble again… I don’t think Yuka is going to stop bugging her to approve the CB club and even with Reina spewing all that procedure and formalities, suddenly her aide informs her of something important. So apparently Reina has to suspend her actions to stop the formation of the CB club because St Union got a request for a practice match with Takamori Academy. You mean that legendary video just went viral? Like, now?! Miyuki teases Reina that she is dying to play this game and hints about her older sister who was a CB champ. So why is Takamori really trying to achieve with this practice match? According to their captain, Hiyori Sugiura, it’s to motivate their players. Because Ayana Kuroda has a younger sister there and this should give great incentive for their regulars. While Yuka is eating with her friends, suddenly her bracelet talks! WTF????!!!

Episode 3
The bracelet is being some naggy coach, eh? Some top class battle AI, eh? And Yuka being a retard means this is going to take a while… Yuka wants to get stronger in all aspects but the bracelet rejects. No can do. I guess he isn’t some wonder drug. But he’ll do what he can. Phew. Safe. Yuka can continue with her fate to meet Chikage then. Don’t worry about wasting an episode to find a new member because Nina Avelin decides to test it out. Yes, she is half Russian. Uhm, since when did Reina join? Is she unofficially officially in? Whatever, now they have an official CB club! Yay! They practice and Miyuki owns Yuka big time. Bet she’ll improve during the real match? So the first match pits Miyuki and some unknown Takamori Candita. Damn, Miyuki lost? Next is Reina against another unknown. While Reina shows her experience, unfortunately because she has this losing mentality and does not expect to win, she loses. WTF?! More misfortune because this is best of 3, oh damn you mean Takamori wins it?! Thank goodness it’s practice match so nothing officially recorded. Just hurt pride. Because they can’t just go home with this easy win, I guess Takamori is eager to continue with the practice. Hence eager beaver Yuka gets to go next. She is facing Kasumi Iida who is one of the top players. This won’t look good… If she wasn’t the main character to begin with! Thus you can see Yuka putting up a decent fight against Iida that shocks everybody. Yeah, didn’t expect this retard to last that long, huh? Her bracelet has analysed her moves and gives some hints. In the end, a swift move from Yuka has her defeat Iida. Wow. This upset victory has got to be the most exciting match, huh? Yuka decides to call her bracelet, Siegfried or Sieg for short. I guess it’s better than G-kun. WTF… Sugiura isn’t sad but glad they might be witnessing the birth of a new legend. You don’t say, huh? Coincidentally Chikage is also watching this and is glad Yuka is back in the game.

Episode 4
Flashback shows Ayana totalling owning her opponent in a CB game. Wow. Young Reina so impressed and vowed to be like her. Wow. So young. So motivated. Too bad we won’t get to see the rest of the practice match but from what I understand, it looked like a 100 men sparring match and only Yuka won. Thanks to that, she has some fans back at school cheering for her. Yuka is briefed on the Princess Cup. Yeah, you know the most prestigious tournament that every sports genre must have. But currently, Kurojishi Sougou Academy has been holding on to that throne for a long time. That school is where Chikage goes. When the girls are being called by the director, they think it’s because Yuka won her practice match. Because Takamori is their sister school and they’re supposed to lose? Hence it’s all Yuka’s fault?! Good thing it’s not that. Sugiura thanks them for a wonderful match and welcomes St Union’s CB’s return. However b*tch Reina insists the club’s closure. I guess only now Yuka hears of Ayana and her exploits. Ever since she left for America, St Union lost its ace and started dwindling. This makes Yuka feel uneasy. No, it’s not your stomach growling! Sieg’s best reply: You overeat! Sugiura talks to Yuka and is scouting her to join Takamori since they have all the facilities to help her get into her game. She can then challenge Kurojishi. But what’s eating Yuka? She still not happy? After Ayumu lets her see clips of Ayana in action (in which Reina’s moves mirrors Ayana’s move although it lacks something), she’s all fired up to go bug Reina. Yeah, Reina just dissed another attempt by Miyuki. So Reina is out of the club just so she can close it down? Yuka confronts Reina in the toilet and talks about Ayana’s greatness. Reina explains St Union didn’t want to hold her back, that’s why they let her go to America as it has the latest technology. But look what it did to St Union? By the time Reina enrolled, the CB club is as good as dead. She rejects Yuka’s invitation to join. So desperate that Yuka decides to go see Chikage at Kurojishi? No wonder she gets kicked out. Then she challenges Reina. She accepts because if Reina wins, Yuka will join Takamori. Is that her way of getting rid of her? Yuka seems to be imitating Ayana’s move. And Reina seems to be having those flashbacks about her sister departing. Yeah, so devastated. In the end, we can tell Reina lost because she has to join the club now. Yay! They’re official now.

Episode 5
Miyuki is voted as the captain of their CB club. Yeah, she’s the only one who volunteered. So starts off with their plan for Princess Cup. The usual line-up: Miyuki, Reina and then Yuka. Nina and Ayumu serve as backup. They attend the draw and it seems for the first round, St Union will be up against Hoshinoumi Academy. Yup, another good CB school. Typically, Hoshinoumi has this rich b*tch girl, Christie Yamauchi who has some sort of rivalry with Miyuki. As expected, she badmouths her about running away from her track club and as well as her current CB. You gonna let that fly, Miyuki. Oh damn. Looks like Christie’s words got to her. Because of that, she can’t concentrate in practice and her friends know something is wrong. With Yuka in her typical retard to assure her, Reina knows it is something that Christie said. Time to get it off her chest by telling her past. As her family makes shoes, naturally she loves running and was a good athlete, putting in all the effort. However many think she is successful because she had money and access to facilities. This made her depressed and at the crossroads. That was when she saw Ayana in a CB bout and decided to quit track and join this weird sport. Had she not quit her track, she would have ended up at Hoshinoumi since they also produce good athletes. Princess Cup starts. Because Miyuki is still having low self-confidence, she switches place with Yuka. Yuka easily wins her match and you thought Reina would be enough to seal the deal. But she lost! Turns out it was an ‘elaborate’ setup so as to get Miyuki to face Christie in the decisive match and put this thorny issue to rest. Of course Miyuki still has doubts and is weak. We hear a bit of Christie’s grudge against her because she looked up to Miyuki but before she could face her in a competition, she quit. Yeah… Since Miyuki continues to be pathetic, Reina scolds to remind her that her true ability is running. Is it allowed to have time to talk like that in the middle of the match? Anyway, this gives Miyuki the much needed confidence to turn the tables and defeat Christie. Wow. So easy. Just run around and make Christie tired. Yeah… She better train her body more before running her mouth… Miyuki admits she may have run away but now she won’t look back and will continue to run forward.

Episode 6
Because Reina has some student council duties, Nina replaces her in the first CB match but she basically got easily owned. But thanks to Miyuki and Yuka, St Union won this round. We see her let loose some steam on her online shooter game and it tells us a lot that she is a good sniper. Musashino Kyuoh Academy is their next opponent and they are the top 4 favourites for the Princess Cup. But of course. In order to help Nina become a strong attacker, they go shopping for her weapon. Just when she picked out this rifle one she likes, so sorry, we’re on a budget. WTF?! And also, no money means limited amount of bullets they can buy. You mean ammo isn’t infinite in this digital technology game?! So I guess she goes with a spear. During a practice match with Yuka, she lost badly. No prizes to guess why she suddenly becomes so dejected. So much so Yuka stalks her?! So to find out what is bugging her, she goes to bug her?! WTF?! Since Nina is not the kind to talk, I guess the next plan is have all of them clean the pool. However some blooper has Nina spraying water hard on Yuka. This means she is down with a cold and will not recover in time for the next match. Damn, this girl is weak! I guess this means Nina has to cover for her. Later Ayumu talks to Nina. Ayumu reveals she is the online shooter game partner whom she interacts often with. Surprise! She also explains the cleaning job was to get some funds to buy Nina her desired weapon. Wow. The pool cleaning job must really pay, huh? More pleasant surprise in store for Nina as they got the rifle weapon for her. With their match with Musashino on the way, Miyuki goes first and lost since she couldn’t see the enemy’s weapon coming. Next is Nina. Can she survive with only 2 bullets? She has Ayumu be her eyes on the field as the stage is littered with ruins. Her first shot misses and when the opponent charges close up, WTF she hears Yuka’s voice to duck and doing so, she is now point blank with the opponent and makes her final shot count. I guess Yuka couldn’t stay in bed and dragged herself out to cheer on Nina. Needless to say, Reina wins it for St Union. Nina thanks her friends for doing all this for her. Correction. We did this together for our CB club.

Episode 7
St Union is pretty much a rising star now, so much so Yuka is nicknamed the Overclock Princess. Sorry, it’s not Order Croquette Princess, Yuka! Don’t think with your stomach! As Yuka practises with Reina, the rest note they don’t know much about Yuka to begin with. Especially who gave her Sieg. To help boost their morale for the semi-final match with Kurojishi, they hang out together. In the streets, they are famous enough that everyone gives them freebies! Are they all passing off with that Overclock brand name? Then they go karaoke in which Yuka and Miyuki fight over the right to sing. I guess better than tone deaf Reina… And is Nina just on an eating spree? Ayumu then talks about MR being a by-product of the CB system. That’s why they are very influential in so many technologies and facilities today. They are also the reason why Ayumu became interested in CB because of its concept. With Ayumu getting technical, I guess the rest can’t follow (especially Yuka of course) and they even joke she could be a spy! Flashback shows Ayumu’s dad was a researcher and she was fascinated with some 3D princess knight model he rendered. And of course, Ayumu watching Yuka practice alone, suddenly she sees all her moves so similar to that princess knight. Talking to her, because Yuka is willing to do anything to improve herself and face Chikage again, Ayumu wants Yuka to battle her. Why do Miyuki and Reina feel so shocked? Sure, she is the support but this is just to collect data, right? Her research about CB didn’t yield the data she wanted so could Yuka be the missing link to her father as well? Since Ayumu hacked her weapon’s script, it is obviously overpowered. Yuka is made to run like hell but all her movements are again similar to that princess knight. Even the way she countered and charged through her eventual victory. Yeah, Ayumu’s weapon broke! Sure, Yuka is fast but is she that powerful? Then we see Ayumu using her connections to get into the backstage of Kurojishi just to see Chikage. She wants to know more about Yuka, especially what happened on that fateful day. Something about the overheating factor too.

Episode 8
Officially, the reports said Chikage’s attack caused the overheating factor. However, Ayumu believes Yuka is the key. From what I understand, Yuka seems fast only because the system cannot process her moves fast enough. Hence some sort of ‘shortcut’. This is an ability she has although she herself is unaware she could use it. Chikage too has this ability. When both used this, that is why the system crashed and blackout for a while. That is the real overheating factor. Ayumu hopes this answer would lead her to her father’s whereabouts. The semi-finals are here and St Union is up against Takamori. Revenge match, right? Reina goes first and wins. Miyuki faces Sugiura next but we all know that to prolong the drama, she has to lose. After all, Takamori has studied St Union’s matches like a bible. And now for the expected grudge match between Yuka and Iida. We know Yuka is having some worries because of the b*tch talk Iida had with her in the toilet as well the night before, Sieg told her not to rely on him and think for herself. Uh oh. Sounds like some death flag trouble. You can say that Takamori’s studying pays off since Iida is now able to predict Yuka’s moves. Uh huh. Don’t really on your sight. Use foresight. And you know what they say about the best offence is the best defence? Yup. Iida was just blocking most of the time. WTF weapon fatigue that Yuka’s weapon broke?! I guess that’s it. St Union lost. Yuka is already depressed and made even more so when Sieg doesn’t respond to her. Damn, like as though he is dead. Is this thing out of battery? Oops, sorry. The rest try to leave her alone but when Yuka doesn’t come out of her room for too long, they go in and check on her only to see her room empty. A note. I’m sorry. Yeah, that sure really says a lot. For somewhat who talks a lot, she sure kept it brief. Heh. Looks like they’ve got to go after her back at her home. Yes, her home back in the mountains.

Episode 9
Buckle up. It’s going to be a long train trip to Wakayama. I don’t think the shinkansen goes there either. Yuka practises in her old shed. Her old CB practice programme still working? Yeah, she’s so powerful, her stats are off the charts! As he bums around and feeling sorry for running away, surprise! Her friends pop up and tell her she should say that in person. However, Yuka being Yuka, she thinks they are ghosts and are back to haunt her for that loss!!! WTF?! Damn, Yuka is a fast runner! When cornered, they explain about this double elimination rule. There is still a chance to come back if you lose once. WTF?! Does this rule only apply to them or the rest? But Yuka still feels uneasy because Sieg is ‘dead’. They talk more over the hotspring, giving more assurance to Yuka that she’s not useless as she thinks she is, blah, blah, blah. Then over dinner, they hear how Yuka got into St Union via scholarship. This has Ayumu asking Yuka where she got Sieg. A pervert gave it to her. Ayumu realizes that person is her father, Makoto. She analyses the bracelet. It looks completely dead and all files missing. Funny, Yuka was able to summon her weapon in yesterday’s practice. Demonstrating her moves in the shed, Ayumu concludes that the file must be hidden. She believes all this is CB DKX, a battle development kit. It is only something her father possessed. As an engineer of MR system, the idea of VR led him to develop this CB game. During that point where CB wasn’t sure of taking off, Chikage was cultivated as an unrivalled player. Despite the success, the project was shelved. Makoto parted ways with his team and disappeared. Makoto only left behind this terminal in which Ayumu thought where all the answers like but it seems it could be in the bracelet. So why did he entrusted it to Yuka? Despite Yuka becoming stronger, she has been shackled with that playstyle. Hence the reason Sieg ‘died’. She cannot win if she continues to play like this. Hence a challenge by Makoto. With renewed confidence and motivation, the girls head for home. Meanwhile Takamori loses to Kurojishi. Thanks to that double elimination rule, I guess the losers are going to battle each other to face Kurojishi. Damn, this is confusing.

Episode 10
Nina defeats her Musashino opponent because she’s cocky, talkative and underestimating. That’s what you deserve. So apparently the loser’s match only has 1 match, huh? And of course this means they will fight Takamori for the right to face you-know-who. Ayumu thinks Yuka needs a new weapon but first she needs to analyse her data and Sieg. Meanwhile Reina uses her influence to seek resource donation from others. Well, if she’s bowing down like that, can’t say no, eh? Even Miyuki goes to town to ask for donation. After passing off that Overclock brand, you better pay back something. And in no time all the resources come flowing in! As Ayumu has trouble figuring out Sieg, not sure what happened when she touched that princess knight render and suddenly everything becomes unlocked! WTF?! On the other side, Takamori has their own issues. It seems Sugiura won’t participate in this loser’s match against St Union and this causes some friction among the members. She knows Yuka will be chosen and hence she wants Iida to take on her. Some psychological strategy too, I guess. But after some deliberation and talking, let’s move Takamori’s CB forward, okay? Chikage will also be watching this important match and it is confirmed the announcer is Makoto. The best way to dispel suspicions of your missing whereabouts is to turn into a drag queen? Makoto has Chikage analyse the odds of the match. Sugiura dominates in every aspect but Yuka is not one who is not confined to regular analysis. The loser’s match between Yuka and Sugiura begins. Yuka starts off aggressive but eventually Sugiura makes a comeback. So much so she breaks Yuka’s weapon! But don’t fear. Because it’s evolution time! The fragments now form into new weapons. Holy sh*t! Yuka just got herself 2 new swords? And this is supposed to be Sieg’s gift? With that, Yuka uses this and goes in for the kill- I mean, victory. On to the finals. Makoto is pleased with the outcome because this is essential for his greatest masterpiece to advance to the next stage.

Episode 11
Don’t feel bad Takamori. There’s always next year. So continue to work hard! Yeah! Ganbatte! Before the finals, Yuka and Chikage meet. Because Yuka already knows the bracelet was given by Makoto, Chikage wonders if she will continue to be manipulated by him. Yuka being Yuka who isn’t too smart on the technical stuffs is only playing because CB is fun. That’s your answer. So the finals begin with Reina going first. It’s a close match but she eventually loses. So as to show respect, her opponent even calls her worthy and asks her name. You mean she wasn’t paying attention to the announcer or the screen? Next up is Miyuki. Cut things short, a tricky move allows Miyuki to defeat her opponent. No surprise because we need the rubber match of Yuka versus Chikage. How many years has it been for their grudge match to resume? But as we can see, Chikage has more experience than Yuka so it’s natural that she dominates. So much so her double swords break! Oh no. Yuka don’t you go into depression again. But before Chikage could checkmate her, something strange happens. Oh, it’s Sieg going through another evolution! This time Yuka gets a pair of gloves! One punch in the gut! Now that Yuka is fighting back and stronger, Chikage getting scared she’ll lose? At the same time she is happy that she has finally found a strong opponent. Now Yuka destroys Chikage’s weapon. Game over, right? Not yet! Because Chikage too goes through some evolution! Oh my. I hope her darker uniform isn’t just for aesthetics.

Episode 12
Yuka takes a beating while Chikage sounds like she has turned to the dark side since she is enjoying every moment of this sadistic beat down. Guess what? Apparently Yuka’s uniform also transforms! Is this her final form? Yeah, thanks to all the people in her life that make her feel she’s not fighting alone. Yuka now has a fighting chance as we hear Makoto narrate more crap about emotions and evolving based on intuition and adapting rather than just blindly following orders. Woah! People start to give their resources in mid-match?! Is this even legal?! Things are going great and then uh oh. Yuka is at her limit. Is she going to lose for real? Time out. Weird conversation with Siegfried as he comes back ‘alive’ to scold Yuka and make her remember her original reason why she wants to fight against Chikage. And this allows Yuka’s uniform to evolve to another final form. A more princess-like form. And if Siegfried says she is the Princess, I guess she is the princess. Uh huh. No prize to guess who wins the Princess Cup. In the aftermath, we see St Union CB members bumming around with nothing to do. Shouldn’t they be practising? Because from what Reina said, due to the overheating factor again, this causes CB to undergo major overhaul in its rules and format. Because of that, St Union failed to adapt well like their other rivals and are on a losing streak. Yup. Rock bottom again. It is also rumoured they hired a hot overseas coach to help them. Ayumu didn’t see her dad once in the flesh. That wasn’t her real goal apparently. Knowing that he is still around and Makoto giving her all the data on MR system secrets, I guess she’s fine. If you’re wondering why Yuka isn’t with them, it’s because she is seeing off Chikage who is going overseas to hone her skills. You know the drill. They both hope they’ll get stronger by that time and fight again. Yuka’s pals come by to pick her up and continue to tease her because it’s nice once in a while to tease a retard.

Sure Crap Princess
Yawn… Oh… Thank goodness is over. I don’t know how the NPCs in this anime can get overly excited and hyped over this boring virtual made up sport. No wonder they are NPCs… Heh… Thank goodness it ended and there are no other major trophies for them to compete because the season could have ended in such a way that hints there might be another tournament for them to try again to be the best but I guess for this kind of sports, Princess Cup is the only major CB tournament. So major that we didn’t even get to see Yuka landing the finishing blow on Chikage. I suppose they want to leave it to our imaginations that there might be another overheating factor and Yuka winning on some technicalities. Imagine having this sort of error at a major event finals. Everything so great, everything so evolutionary but your system can’t handle it?! Fail! Back to the drawing board to redesign the system again!

I believe that the CB game itself is not given any sort of prominence. I feel that it is an unimportant factor here. While it looks like this CB game has its sets of rules and the likes, do you not feel that it is not really given any more depth than what we have seen? It feels like everything is just so made up on a whim so that they could have some sort of fighting sequence whatsoever. Hence the CB sport is probably one of the worst and ill-conceived futuristic sports that I have known to date. The basic premise of the sport is that you enter some VR, conjure up whatever weapon you think you are good at, beat the sh*t out of your opponent until she can no longer move. Yup. That’s as original as they can get for this CB game. It’s just sounds so boring. Even that weird water sport Keijo is way much better than this crap. I know, fanservice but still, it beats CB flat. I’d spend my money to go watch that ass game than this asinine one.

Making CB even worse is its format. Now, I understand that it is a team game and even if they want to make it a one on one match, don’t you think having just 3 matches total per game is a little too short? I mean, why the heck do you always have 5 members entering their standby platform then? Backup? I don’t see any substitutions during the game here. That’s why I earlier said they didn’t really thought out about this sport well. I think my suggestion if the format was a team deathmatch type, it would have been more exciting and better. Even if they don’t have all 5 on 5, at least 3 on 3 in this team battle royale format would at least give us some thrills. Though, this was largely hinted in the new shake up of the format but it comes rather too late. St Union won’t be there at the major stages any time soon even if they have their ace Yuka. Yeah, it goes to show that they aren’t really good CB team players to begin with… Therefore for this individual format, no real strategy except hit your opponent until she can go no more and maybe a few tricks to lead up to that. Stages are for aesthetics, uniforms are for aesthetics, weapons are mostly for aesthetics. Now we are reduced to just predicting who wins or loses instead of a real team battle to guess which one gets taken out first. And if the weapons break, does it mean your programming of its toughness is not enough?! It’s all digital, right?! To put the overall CB battles in short, just boring and uninspiring. No wonder there is ‘time’ for players to chat or mock each other during the game. Hey, we pay to see you fight, not to chitchat!

If they didn’t put much emphasis on the CB game, you’d think the characters make up for it, right? Wrong! Not at all. The characters also feel as boring and as cliché as you would expect a team sports anime to be. Each has their own quirky personalities but nothing that interesting that would make you really want to like them and you only do so because they are the main characters. I guess the formula of dark horses, no hopers or former powerhouses regain their glory again and rising up through the ashes is what a lot of people prefer. This way, it gives more drama, story and characters to build on rather than starting off with the featured characters as overpowered powerhouse. And now with the new rules, St Union is back to being no hopers and dark horses again. So it gives a chance for them to rise up like a phoenix once more. If they ever get that far, that is. Like I said, this formula isn’t bad despite being done to death and so cliché. But this series didn’t do it well so here I am b*tching about it as an excuse.

So like Yuka being the ace and the poster girl of the group. As usual she is of the my pace and retarded kind. I guess this is to show that she isn’t really a perfect character. Because if she was really smart and elegant like we wanted her, she would now seem like a perfect and overpowered character. Something that we viewers don’t really like. Ah, I see we are such hard audiences to please. Therefore with Yuka being a retard (whose stomach probably thinks more than her head), this gives her more room to do as she pleases and not give a damn about the technical parts. It’s the reason why she excels in CB so well. She doesn’t give a hoot about all the technicalities and what it takes to be an ultimate player in the game.