January 24, 2021

You know the year 2020 has been one weird year. Probably the worst to a lot of people. And we all would love to blame a certain virus for the disruption of our daily lives, right? And over a year later, we’re still dealing with this sh*t. So are we going to beat this Corona virus soon? As if they want to scare us further, because there is a chance that the virus might mutate and turn us into violent monsters!!! OMFG!!! Nah. I just made that up. Because those are my thoughts when I watched Gibiate. Uh huh. It is the year 2030 and the world has been ravaged by a virus turning humans into monsters. No cure in sight and not only survivors have to put up with such monsters but other criminals who loot and attack others because there aren’t any more laws in the world. Wow. Such fun and exciting times we live in.

Episode 1
It is the year 2030 (because 2020 would be too obvious) as Kathleen Funada records of a video of herself to prove she is here. Of course it is to tell us about the devastating epidemic virus known as Gibiate that swept the world 2 years ago. First spread in Venice, the first wave was easily contained but the second wave, that’s where everything went downhill. So the virus doesn’t just kills you. You turn into a vicious monster! Kathleen vows to find a cure. Now we go back in time to 1600 AD. Sensui Kanzaki and Kenroku Sanada are on a boat, forced into exile. Sensui despite being a war hero, his exile is because of his lord making a scapegoat out of him for his own selfish gains. Suddenly the storm turns bad. When the duo wake up, they are now in modern Tokyo. This is not the afterlife they’re expecting. Confused by their surroundings, they try to seek help but this sick man suddenly turns into a monster. His cells fried or something? I don’t think any of their attacks can help but thankfully Kathleen arrives to zap it out temporarily and take its blood sample. The Edo guys are ushered into the van as they return to their camp base. While Kathleen believes them to be from the past, the Edo duo aren’t so easily swayed because they are disappointed this is what the future turned out. Is this what they fought for? At the camp, Kathleen introduces them to a few people like the marine, Brian. They can see many people talk bad about them because of their weird outfits. Like Adam who calls their samurai status as BS. He thinks many people have gone crazy thanks to the epidemic. Dr Yoshinaga then explains more about this Gibiate thingy. Those monsters are called Gibia and if you get stung by their venom, there is a high chance you’ll turn into one. Sensui notes he was hit during the attack but thankfully no cause for alarm yet since Yoshinaga notes that a symptom of one turning into Gibia is if you hear water dripping sounds. So if he doesn’t hear any, good. Gibia are driven by their strong impulse to spread so if their stingers don’t work on you’ll, they’ll still sting you to death! When night falls, the place is lighted up by flood lights. Apparently Gibia hates lights. Oh yeah. Looks like they’re coming out to play now.

Episode 2
Kathleen records Sensui as he talks about his upbringing and being taught of the ways of the sword. Then she shows the guys around before wanting to spar with Sensui to test how strong he is. She instantly lost. Yup. Definitely strong. Need all the help she can get to fight against Gibia. She brings him to see her mom, Yurika. As she is a history buff, Sensui wants to know what happened to his lord. Apparently history dictates he got beheaded after too many betrayals. This has Sensui sad as he wasn’t around in his final moments and wonders there was a point to his fighting. Just then, the lights all went out. Maeda, the guy who went home just to get a samurai sword for Sensui, returns. Just in time right before Gibia start invading the camp and killing everybody! Maeda is a partial victim but he gets to see how cool Sensui is with his sword now. Yoshinaga has Kenroku burn tents to create source of light. I think this is too slow. Plus, they never have any backup plan or anticipate such failure?! Anyway, Kenroku is a ninja could adapt and use well the modern tools to aid in his fight against Gibia. Sensui becomes a mad dog slashing the Gibia. So Adam, now you believe in this samurai? He is the real deal! Even if the sword becomes dull from cutting too many Gibia, with Kenroku’s help, he manages to slash more. Yeah, everybody enjoying the cool samurai fight. Even bringing Kathleen to tears. All behold your saviour! The survivors manage to hold out until dawn. But looks like Maeda is showing symptoms of turning into a Gibia. Satisfied with Sensui showing him the cool samurai stuffs, he now wants to be killed before he turns into a Gibia. I guess it’s time to hit the feels with Kathleen remembering the nice things he done for her. Let the tears flow. Before letting his head roll. RIP Maeda. You’ll always be remembered.

Episode 3
Kathleen now records Kenroku as he talks a bit about his life. Because the magistrate forced himself on a girl he likes, he killed him, the reason he was exiled. Say, doesn’t Kathleen look a bit like her? I can’t believe that our groupie are the only survivors left. Did everyone else die or turned into Gibia and got killed? Anyway, Yurika suggests heading to Niigata since there is a research facility there and less Gibia. Before they depart, Yoshinaga needs to collect Gibia virus samples so as to make his vaccine. That’s why he wants Sensui to cut down as many Gibia for him. Brian seems to be desperate and having hope for Yoshinaga to create a vaccine. It’s his only way to avenge his fallen men. As they are about to take off in a helicopter on the rooftop (Yoshinaga can fly?!), they see a huge man lying on the opposite building. As they are flying towards that building, a Gibia attacks the helicopter by sticking its thick web over. I thought Gibia don’t come out in daylight? Oh, an abnormal. Meteora they call it, huh? With Kenroku’s bombs not working, time for some Sensui slashing action. Oh damn, Meteora so tough the sword broke! There goes Maeda’s sword… That huge man, Yukinojo Onikura has awakened and wants to help. With his strength, Kenroku throws him a reel so he pulls the helicopter close for the rest to jump down. However Brian gets grazed by Meteora’s web during his fall. Kenroku then pilots the helicopter to crash into Meteora! That easy, huh? As night falls, they camp in the building as they learn more about Yukinojo. He is a warrior monk and comes from the same period as Nobunaga. Seems the monks were fighting some battle against him and Yukinojo was on the verge of taking his own life after losing. Next thing he knew, he fell into a shaft and came to the future. Yoshinaga tries to nurse Brian’s wounds. But your guess is as good as mine, the symptoms are showing but he turns into a Gibia faster than you can say… THIS EPISODE’S CGI IS CRAP!!!

Episode 4
Kathleen narrates how her father, war photographer got injured in one of his job and met mom who was a nurse who treated him. Too bad dad died when she was very young. Yoshinaga is saved thanks to Adam pumping all his lead into Brian. RIP, Brian. Meanwhile, our historical heroes are reunited with their original weapons because they are in an exhibition display nearby! Woah! The coincidence is so screaming plot convenience! Time to test it out since they are being ambushed by Gibia. Yeah, the irony of old weapons still much sturdier than newer ones. After lots of bludgeoning, the gang manage to reunite and escape. Sensui exerted too much energy so he needs to sleep. Yurika reciting an old poem means it is cue for some history lessons. After the unification of Japan, samurais were called back to help invade Korea. However Sensui for some reason was recalled home. There’s also some conflict between Mitsunari Ishida and Ieyasu Tokugawa. Hence many vassals were split into deciding which faction to support. One of them was Sensui’s lord, Jouzen Matsumoto. Despite Sensui making a solid suggestion on which side to support, Jouzen remained undecided. Eventually he decided to side with Ieyasu in the eleventh hour. Sensui and his men led the attack to march on Ueda castle. Though, Sensui felt it doesn’t matter which side they chose because whoever wins will brand them a traitor. The attack failed since whoever whatever went on to fight another battle, leaving Jouzen’s side behind. On the way back, that is when Sensui first met Kenroku since the ninja noticed his peculiar fighting style and wants to fight him. Both are formidable and dragging this fight longer would bring harm to both. Hence Kenroku called this a draw and hoped they will face each other again in the future. Back to current time, more trouble since the bus’ tyre is busted and Gibia looking for their next meal. Since Sensui is still out, looks like Kenroku and Yukinojo have to up their game.

Episode 5
Now it’s Yukinojo’s turn to have a go at recording. Looks like he wants to settle down and live a peaceful life once the war ends. He didn’t get to do it in his own era so this might do. Now we return to the Gibia attack. Too much Gibia for our heroes to handle and they can’t change the tyre in time. How? Oh, Adam going to sacrifice himself?! Yeah, this guy is turning into a Gibia… His bravery of blowing himself up with the Gibia and the bridge allows our heroes to continue their journey. Yurika sews back Yukinojo’s garb and this guy thanks her bashfully. Kenroku teases him he might like her and gets beaten up. Time for some history flashback. Yukinojo and his comrade, Douzan were part of some school. As monks, the thought of bringing in women was a hotly debated topic. Douzan thought if they had somebody they love, they would protect them. On the contrary, Yukinojo felt he would die for them. During Nobunaga’s war to unify Japan, his orders to the monks were to cut off some supplies. They refuse and Nobunaga sent his armies to fight them. Nobunaga’s side lost but the next time, he deprived their castle of the supplies. Hungry villagers came out to surrender but Nobunaga’s army shot and killed all of them. The monks get mad and fought back. Eventually they lost and the castle was burnt down. Douzan eventually died and Yukinojo took his club and vowed to live on. So he loves himself and will protect himself to live? Okay. He bludgeons the enemies but soon he falls through some hole that brings him here. Hence his affection to the ladies could be just of that of a father’s affection. Kenroku teases him further to get Yurika so they can have a kid together but obviously more beat down. While taking a break at a stop, why did Kathleen walk out alone herself and gets captured?! They are escaped convicts known as Galients and they want them to hand over their food. Learning Sensui is the real samurai, their boss, Renjiro Hatonami wants a go at him. And loses! Retreat! That was weird… The journey continues and before them is a dark tunnel. There could be Gibia lurking inside and if it does, Yoshinaga hopes the guys can help clear it. Through enough, lots of Gibia crawling! Time for action! Somebody needs to clear the path so the bus can proceed. Kathleen takes the bombs and bombs away the path. I don’t think that’s how it works but plot needs to progress. On her return, she trips! Like, HOW?! Because dramatic moment as a Gibia is about to sting her!

Episode 6
Renjiro even got a chance at recording? He’s telling how the criminals escaped prison because the cells were much safer when the Gibia attacked and all the guards died first. Now back to Kathleen. If you’re wondering why her life flashing before her eyes is so short, that’s because somebody is here to save her! Haha! She is Ayame and a former cop. Damn, I thought she was a former punk rock band or something. Anyway she kicks ass to save Kathleen’s ass. Damn, Kathleen got time to faint so we see more of her flashback?! Yeah, a time daddy went abroad for his photography job but got killed by a stray bullet. Kathleen always remembers his positive words that bad things don’t last forever. More Gibia massacre until there’s practically none. They invite Ayame to join them since they could use a pair of extra strong hands. They stop at a hotspring inn. Good thing the facilities here are still working. Asking about Ayame’s past, she explains her mom was killed by a Gibia while her dad was a useless person in the yakuza. It’s a reason why she became a cop. On to the guys’ side, everyone is shocked to see Sensui’s back filled with scars. Time for more Sensui past because we see his parents murdered and some lone foreigner swordsman (Chuck Norris?!) took him in and trained him in the ways of the sword. Unfortunately he was suffering from some disease and died too. Sensui alone again. And then some battle in which Sensui killed lots of enemies to let Jouzen escape. To reward this, Jouzen gave him a sword and that’s when Sensui decided to master in wielding both swords. As they resume their journey, they notice a van tailing them. It is Galients and why am I not surprised Ayame is shocked to recognize Renjiro as her dad?!

Episode 7
Ayame’s turn at the recording. Her mom’s Chinese and works in a restaurant so she learnt how to fight from the owner. So Renjiro got bored and wanted to have a rematch with Sensui?! Damn, a van trying to knock off a bus?! Are they really serious?! But no rematch today since before them is a Gibia. Oh, it’s that Meteora?! How the f*ck is it still alive?! Oh wait. I didn’t think that fall then would kill it either. Anyway, it has evolved into some human form. But is this discount Frieza’s final form? Apparently not as it evolves into a hideous T-rex! Galients is tossed away so it’s time for our heroes to save the day. Meanwhile Ayame is contemplating if she should arrest or let her dad die. ARREST AND THEN WHAT?! Time for mother and daughter to guilt trip her that her daddy is still alive and arresting him can’t be just her life’s goal, right? We see a deeper flashback how Ayame was forced to kill mom before she turned into a Gibia. So now what she is going to do? Ayame drives a car, rams it into the river and lets it get washed away by the current! WTF???!!! SO F*CKING EASY???!!! Was this T-rex that light that it can even fly away by the touch of a sedan car?! Okay, because now she confronts her dad and tells him off to stop being a bad guy. Gibia are the real baddies and mom died because of one! Oh yeah. See the shock on his face. Don’t show your face ever again. I guess for the second time, Renjiro orders a retreat. More drama because Sensui is sick? Damn, he fought too much Gibia and strained himself?! F*cking Ayame just showed us how piece of cake it was to deal with a Meteora mother! Damn, he has got to find a more efficient way of fighting! They stop by a food factory to let him rest when suddenly a Gibia stings Yurika.

Episode 8
Yurika’s recording tells us the happiest thing in her life was giving birth to Kathleen. And the saddest when her husband died. She adds more she doesn’t want anyone to die before her and would preferably die first. Damn, this death flag… How the f*ck nobody notices Yurika getting stung?! It’s quite a decently open space and the Gibia is right next to her!!! Finishing off doesn’t mean anything. Yoshinaga gives hope that the Gibia may have stung someone in the last 24 hours so it could be an empty stinger. Pray. I guess everyone is so tired and fallen asleep, nobody notices Yurika is gone! And Yukinojo was just sitting next to her bed! HOW?! So some go out to look for her. Kathleen finds a letter from mom. She apologizes for being unable to continue the journey with them. Also, remember father’s words. If she doesn’t turn into a Gibia, she will meet up with them later. Kathleen is so sad but Yukinojo tries to cheer her up that her smile gives him hope. And her curry too. Please don’t cry. I guess she feels better already and gives him a charm. Sew it onto his clothes too. We see Yurika somewhere… Showing symptoms of Gibia… That’s the end of her. :’(. Kenroku and Ayame are also near a store to get supplies. Cue to have them kill some Gibia for revenge. Feel better? Kathleen and Yukinojo notice a herd of Gibia returning to their nest before dawn. Can’t they just hide and let them pass? Yeah, they want to be heroes to fight and defend! Too bad Yukinojo is going to do this alone as he throws Kathleen back in and closes the shutter. We’re going to see if her charm works, right? I suppose protecting her smile > leaving her alone. Time to kick some Gibia ass!

Episode 9
I guess we’re running out of characters. Guren Soshigaya who is part of Galients is telling us how he was kicked out from the orphanage and his loyalty to Renjiro is because he took him under his wing. He is adept with the gun to back up Renjiro’s sword. When Kenroku and Ayame return, they see the Gibia massacre. Worse, YUKINOJO IS DEAD!!! OMFG! SAY IT ISN’T SO! Kathleen inconsolable. And they recognize a smashed Gibia nearby: It’s Yurika. Probably why Yukinojo couldn’t go all out. Oh, look who is up now? Care to know what is going on, Sensui? Time to bid farewell to the monk and move on. Now we take a detour to Galients. They search a store for supplies but looks like it is filled with Gibia. So how to kill them all? You burn and bomb the hell out of the place! Oh yeah! Renjiro looks down. His daughter’s words must have hit him hard. Since when did he care about Ayame?! I guess when you’re old, you’re old. Ayame makes a few tools for Sensui and Kenroku. I don’t think this puny shield can do anything but it’s better than nothing. Ayame has also made a chained sickle for Kenroku. This brings back memories since a guy he knows used it. Yeah, time for flashback. Kenroku and Shion are ninja buddies. The latter talking about some myth that if you see the moon red, you’re going to die. War rages on. Shion protects Kenroku and dies. Kenroku returns his chained sickle to his sister. Sister knows. Sister cries. Got to make good your promise to Shion to take care of her. And now Sensui is saying how the moon looks red. Oh f*ck…

Episode 10
More interview with Galients? What is better than an interview with 1 of them? Why, 3 of them! I guess time’s running out. So we have Isao Mikimoto who was an Olympic pole vaulter. He landed in prison for killing the guy who tried to kill his girlfriend. The new have Katsunori Hamuro who was a fisherman and did time when he accidentally killed his fellow fisherman. Lastly, Hidenori Sakuma is a bomb expert and tried to bomb the government! Safe to say he failed. Arriving at the ghost town city, they realize lots of Gibia hiding in the shades. Damn, hope it doesn’t turn dark soon. Galients turn up and they think they want to fight. However they’re here to kick Gibia ass! Oh sh*t, did the Gibia decide to f*ck the sun and go out in the open to fight?! And Renjiro trying to impress his daughter by turning over a new leaf. CRINGE!!! They manage to slaughter all the Gibia before the sun goes down. Both sides agree to become allies and work together. So while Yoshinaga works on the vaccine, the rest bond over curry katsu. And they don’t have to do it all in the dark because damn, Sakuma not only is a great cook but a great electrician?! He is the most useful character in this series!!! So he powers up the building’s generator and everyone getting along so good that you can’t tell who the good guys were and who were from Galients. Heh. And of course, Renjiro making up with Ayame because her words that day opened his eyes. Old geezer hasn’t much time left so I guess he wants to spend his last days with her. And time for some final drama because out from the sea pops out… IT’S THAT FREAKING METEORA AGAIN!!! CAN IT NOT JUST DIE?! Oh, did it also evolve to another final form?

Episode 11
Now what can Yoshinaga talk about in his interview? Oh, he had a fiancée?! He hints they did not break up… Oh dear… Flashbacks of kids bullying Ayame because her papa is a criminal. Damn, are they not afraid he is the yakuza boss?! I mean it’s a good thing but when you think about their safety… Anyway, Renjiro wanted to give a piece of his mind but with crying Ayame hugging him not to… Sorry to interrupt your dream but Meteora is here. Everyone gangs up and attacks this Gibia but it seems to be only defending and making its way to Yoshinaga. It’s a tough cookie to crack but eventually they killed it. Just in time when Yoshinaga finishes his vaccine, WTF he is mad they killed Meteora???!!! Then he reveals… He and Meteora are not from this planet!!! OMFG! THERE’S YOUR F*CKING PLOT TWIST!!! Back on his planet, those who drink the blood of the god called Soma will gained special powers. But not all will get it and those who failed will become monsters. Yoshinaga was tasked by Meteora’s father, his mentor to develop artificial Soma blood. Yes, Meteora is his fiancée. One day, Meteora accidentally drank that artificial blood and turned into this monster. Yoshinaga had to create a cure and used blood samples from failed ones. At the same time, the ruler of their planet died and everyone was fighting over the blood. Yoshinaga and Meteora were put into a capsule and flown into space. Because they orbited too close to the sun, their capsule separated. Meteora and the samples landed in Europe while Yoshinaga orbited around Earth for a while before landing in Japan. He then began developing a cure to restore Gibia’s intelligence. Meteora must’ve been following his brainwaves here to reach him. Now that she is dead, there is no reason for him to create a cure, let alone LET ALL OF YOU LIVE!!! Damn, that’s one helluva rage quit. WTF he created a virus that transforms human into a deadlier Gibia type?! HOW?! WHY?! DID HE FORESEE THIS?! Anyway, Ayame is the unlucky one as he throws the serum at her and she transforms into a Gibia. Yoshinaga also jabs himself to turn himself a Gibia but retains his conscious so he can slaughter them all! Damn, this escalated quickly. Everyone tries to fight Ayame but Hamuro gets stung and before he becomes a Gibia, Guren shoots him. Mikimoto in his rage throws his spear. You know that won’t do any good. Yup, he gets killed. Followed by Sakuma. KILL THEM ALL! Renjiro faces off with Ayame but can a father kill his own daughter? That’s why Guren protects him and gets killed and Sensui dealing the finishing blow. Renjiro and Guren exchange a somewhat emotional goodbye and the survivors now turn their attention to face Yoshinaga. Is this his final form?!

Episode 12
Oh Jesus! Yoshinaga turns into a discount version of Frieza?! First we watch a clumsy but laughable fighting between Kenroku and Yoshinaga. Ready to join in, Sensui? Oh, his sword broke! How now?! Kathleen returns and zaps him with her electric gun. Oh, it almost worked?! Some sh*tty explanation about how Gibia cells conduct electricity 98%. F*CK SCIENCE!!! And then Yoshinaga turns into a lamer version! Is this his final form?! WTF is this joker day?! I prefer the fake Frieza look… Time for another revelation because Yoshinaga reveals that it was Kathleen’s wish that brought Sensui, Kenroku and Yukinojo here. Some sh*tty explanation how the spaceship broke into orbit looked like shooting star and her strong wish resonated with their brainwaves thingy. CRAP!!! F*CK SCIENCE!!! Yeah, men in this era are pussies that she wished strong ones from the past?! Yeah… But WTF is this whole just to make Kathleen feel guilty she brought those men here?! You trying to guilt trip her?! More revelation as this whole Gibia thing was orchestrated by Yoshinaga. He wanted to see how far it could spread and seeing Sensui and Kenroku’s strength, he was resolved he could find a vaccine to save Meteora. After that, he will abandon Earth and return to their home planet. Yeah, he used Earth as his plaything real good. Renjiro gives his sword to Sensui and when he tells Kathleen to live for Ayame’s part, you know what this mean. This old man just charges towards Yoshinaga like that?! Oh. Looks like he indeed has a death wish and join Ayame. But he won’t be dying alone. He strapped himself with explosives! Boom! That damaged Yoshinaga a bit and this allows Sensui to decapitate him. Finally. And throw the remaining bombs to explode his body to pieces just to be sure. RIP, Yoshinaga. Hordes of Gibia are coming and as they are about to get on the boat to escape, Sensui can’t. He shows a wound he got from a Gibia. Gasp. Can’t risk it. So he is staying back to fight the Gibia. Kathleen so sad. She gives him a GPS so he can track them. He knows how to use it?! Whatever. Kenroku and Kathleen go off, clinging on to that faint hope that Sensui always keeps his promises. That, if he doesn’t turn into a Gibia. But for now, Gibia slaughter fest time!

Gee Baited & Just Bad-te
Oh man. This is how it ends?! Ah, damn it. At this point, I am just freaking glad it has ended. Although I would have just preferred everybody got killed off and the world further falls into a gloomy dystopian state with all the Gibia overrunning the planet until the end of time. And so nobody was saved. What’s the use of finishing the vaccine when there is nothing to live for, right? So my sentiments for Kenroku and Kathleen leaving as far away as they could, could be a sign that they really want to run away from this bad animation so badly! HAHAHAHAH!!!! Yeah, I wished it was that. But where to? Nowhere. You can never run away from bad anime! It’s all around us! And Sensui is like the ‘hero’ trying to cut down hordes of bad anime coming our way!!! If this was also a video game, Sensui would have the honour of earning the highest score and points from killing the most Gibia! Oh well, in another alternate timeline and dimension, this could’ve been the storyline! You see?! I can write stupid crap like this myself!!!

The most glaring and obvious issue about this anime is its animation. Yes, it is that bad. Heck, it even reminded me of that worst anime in history that I recently watched: Gundou Musashi! Heck, it could have been on par with that but it only fares a bit better because the visuals just look slight better. That itself is in the loosest term. For an anime that is supposed to be action packed, they failed in really animating those action sequences well. All we usually see are still pictures of the samurai yelling. A bit of movement just to fool us that there is some sort of animation. But overall there is not much animation to go with. There are also some inconsistencies but the bad animation takes that cake. It’s like the Gundou Musashi of the decade but with slightly better visuals. Again, that in the loosest definition. Even with Sensui looking like the bishonen samurai, I guess his face is so stiff and gloomy so that he could maintain his ikemen handsomeness. I am more likely to laugh than swoon over his ‘good looks’. That again in the loosest of terms.

Compiling to the visual woes are the CGI used. Especially the Gibia. It feels like they wanted to design some sort of horribly transformed monster but due to the bad animation effects, they turn out to be lame but at the same time they are also somewhat nightmare fuel. They’re supposed to be scary but the bad animation prevents them in looking scary but because of that same bad animation, the bad design makes them look scary! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?! AM I CONTRADICTING MYSELF HERE OR AM I JUST CONFUSED?! For instance, Meteora. Look at that abomination. The animation is already the worst, that’s a given. But look at its design. Scary at first. And then it soon becomes laughable. And then taking a closer look, damn if looks a bit scary if you stare a little longer. That’s the best I can describe. And the rest of the Gibia are like failed monster designs. Like as though they held a contest to come up with the ‘scariest’ monster ever and they mesh whatever they could think of. Like the whole world has turned into some kind of playground of the Island of Dr Moreau. Yeah, the animation of the CGI is so stiff like as though they hired amateurs or fresh graduates from the CGI department to do all the work. If Pixar or Disney released such crap, they’ll go bankrupt in minutes from its release!!!

Then there is the colouring and hues too. They look really bland and I understand that they want to give off that gloomy and desolated atmosphere. Yes, there are some dark scenes too and perhaps they want to give that claustrophobic effect because a large ruined city without the bustling people still feels claustrophobic and eerie with its dark corners. Anyway for the record, I didn’t feel claustrophobic. What I wanted to say was that with the colouring and hues sometimes a bit off, I thought this anime was done by GoHands, the studio that made K, Hand Shakers, W’z and Seitokai Yakuindomo. Their trademark is their weird colour hues but unfortunately they did not helm this anime. It is Studio Elle and Launch Box. First time animating, I guess? And to think they hired a famed guy who designed characters for Resident Evil and another renowned one who did Final Fantasy for this garbage!!!

Sorry fans of the action genre, the action here feels so mediocre that it is just laughable. And you already have bad animation as icing and cherry over the cake, sometimes I am wondering to classify this as action comedy. No wonder the Gibia are so dumb because so they can just rush in and get killed by our heroes despite their sheer numbers. Unless the plot calls for it that a character must die in this episode. It’s a big disappointment so see the action scenes so stiff and rigid that it makes you wonder if you can call that fighting. And how exciting is Sensui slashing his sword around or Yukinojo swinging around his club? Not quite. Even if they ramp up some variety with Kenroku modifying and customizing his ninja ways with modern equipment, it is still laughable when you see how Gibia get easily taken down by such. Like as though the Gibia can be easily killed by the touch of these men from the past. So if you have a whole arsenal of military weapons and unlimited bullets, if the plot says you can’t kill the Gibia, it means you can’t. I know I’m exaggerating but yeah. And why the heck do they give Kathleen some pea shooter to defend herself?! Does Ayame not have extra big guns for her to use?! Also, Gibia attacking are so boring. I thought they might shoot fireballs or lasers but apparently the DNA composition hasn’t changed to allow them to do any of that. Or even mind control. That would’ve been so f*cking epic and the end of humanity right from the bat. So they just have f*cking stingers and claws, fangs, whatever they have like other animals, huh? Animation so crappy that Yoshinaga the Gibia didn’t even have to move to dodge attacks! THIS IS HOW ATROCIOUS THE ANIMATION AND ACTION ARE!!!

Now that we’ve done getting the biggest issue out of the way, here is the next: The story and plot. Oh boy, it’s such a mess. Well, the concept and potential are there about virus mutating us into monsters. That was the ‘interesting’ concept that baited me to watch this crap but now I realized I was just trolled. Anyway, I understand this is an original anime not based on any manga and video game (can I go so far to say it is based on a certain current event?), so coming up with an interesting story is quite hard. But even a few episodes into the series, my guts were already ringing like hell that this was going to be bad. And my guts were right. The whole plot seems for the survivors to be going from a certain place to another, like as though this is one long road trip. Because of that, I have this feeling that the producers ran out of ideas and just started winging it with whatever they can come up with for the week. Sure, the ultimate plot is to find a vaccine to cure Gibia but that itself feels so lost and irrelevant when you watched the entire season. Because it doesn’t really matter anymore whether you got vaccine or not. I am assuming Yoshinaga is the only one who knows how to somewhat create a cure but with him being dead, my guess and hope is that this series will go along with it like the rest of humanity. Heh.

Then they inserted this mindf*ckery plot twist that Yoshinaga is not an Earthling!!! OMFG!!! You know what? I admit I did not see this coming! Yeah, I was so bored out of my mind and laughing out at the bad animation that I wasn’t expect this sort of plot twist. Hey, at least it is better than this one: IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM!!! OMFG…Lazy writing. Yoshinaga wasn’t really an important character but you realize that he is a character that needs to be kept alive or else the survivors have no reason to continue journeying like this together nor would there been any other interesting plot to go with. Because he is the only one who can create the vaccine. Just like the king in chess, the most useless piece but also the most important. So the plot twist about his origins, just mindboggling and downright stupid. I admit I have a bad memory but I clearly remember they met Meteora and fought it twice. Not once but twice! And did they not get rid of it? Why didn’t Yoshinaga say anything?! Oh right. Save it for later plot twist. When Meteora first popped up, why did Yoshinaga not explain about Meteora, their connection and past?! At least enlighten them about this before they kill it! Now you blame them and want them all to die?! Like as though it was his plan in the first place, never to find a vaccine but to kill all humans. So he was just waiting for the right time for the heroes to kill Meteora so that he can exact his stupid bloodthirst revenge. Yeah, we lost all respect for you doctor, the plot and the series as a whole. This was really just stupid.

Sure, it sounds a lot interesting to bring a samurai, ninja and monk from the past to the current future and fight such monsters. Because all modern men and humans are just weak pussies who only know how to rage and troll online! TRUE! Yeah, men from the past have more honour and skill. And there’s your time travel element for this series. Hey, even Kathleen wished on it! So even if Sensui and Kenroku don’t really understand the modern world, don’t sweat it, the world is already a dystopia so don’t have to worry what the f*ck is the internet or even multi-level marketing. Damn, this virus turning humans into monsters is starting to sound like a pretty good reset idea… And to think those men adapted pretty well and it’s no surprise since they’re survivors in the past. Don’t worry about the advanced Japanese lingo. They’ll get by somehow. Thank goodness no karaoke showed up in this anime or they’ll be asking WTF that Japanese invention is.

Another point to ponder is about Gibia. While it is an interesting concept, it feels like it is not explicitly explored. And even those brief explanations that Yoshinaga told us, it feels like they’re just winging it and hoping we weren’t paying attention and forget about it. Yeah, sort of worked for me… What I want to point out is, only humans turning into Gibia, what about animals? Do they turn into one too? Because I see that there are so many Gibia around, endless waves of them so I am assuming that those are all humans who got infected. No matter how much our heroes cut them down, there are seemingly more. So I am assuming the rest of the world is now dead and no more humans alive. Make that ex-humans now turned Gibia. And how long do Gibia live? Like forever? If they do have a lifespan, maybe in a few more years they’ll all naturally die out and the Gibia threat over. The best cure ever. If there are human survivors by then. And it sounds so magical than sci-fi when they say how the virus mutates every component in one’s DNA. Convenient cheesy plot to turn them into monsters quickly. Because I’m thinking that this virus is God! Even Jesus doesn’t perform such quick miracles but this virus can?! I hope it doesn’t have this unwanted intention of making viewers go, “F*ck science!”. Yeah…

Speaking of the f*ck science and logic thingy, I don’t know if they are really winging it as the series reaches its climaxes because all the so called ‘scientific’ explanations feels like a big middle finger to science. I know this is sci-fi but the way they conveniently spout that crap in the final episode especially about Gibia cells conducting electricity and how brainwaves can bring people from the past to the present, this is just stretching it. Like as though they needed some sort of further twist but ran out of time so they had to go along with this crap. I mean, really. Like in Kathleen’s wishing case, even if that was remotely true, HOW THE F*CK DID YOSHINAGA KNOW THAT IT WAS KATHLEEN WHO MADE THAT WISH???!!! Did she tell him personally?! If that is so, can he just hypothesize based on a single observation?! Oh yeah, this plot convenience is getting to be really crappy for this series.

The characters, oh my God, what else can I say? They are as bad as the animation and the story. They aren’t anything memorable or deep and mostly forgettable. It is understandable why most of them get killed off. Uh huh. For those characters who ‘matter’, I guess that’s why at the start of every episode, we have Kathleen doing some sort of short camcorder interview. Oooohhh. I’m so enlightened that Yurika’s happiest moments was giving birth to Kathleen and that Yoshinaga had a lover. Wow. This should give them enough character! Obviously at this point we don’t even care nor all those trivia are important.

Even Sensui and Kenroku as the main characters fail to live up to their roles. I understand they came from the past so there must be some sort of culture shock when they arrive in future Japan that is so much more advanced, but the way I see it, they’re just mediocre. Like Sensui who gets tired after swinging a few times in beast mode! WTF?! Is he Ultraman?! So he has to be out for a while to let others to shine. Because you know, relying on him all the time is bad. Shockingly, I never expected Yukinojo to die. I mean, the trio were like quite okay together (not going so far to say that they are likeable or had compatibility but this is the best arrangement after all), so taking this big guy out of the picture, it feels so empty. F*cking plot twist. So perhaps that was my only shocking moment since I really wasn’t expecting this dude to die. So to show the ‘bond’ Yukinojo had with Kenroku, that’s why the ninja now arms himself with his club. In loving memory of Yukinojo. Rest in peace, big guy. So yeah, the trio had their past and it fleshes out their character a little but sometimes I feel it is just to fill in the time. Hey, can’t have Gibia smashing all the time, right?

Every show needs a cute main heroine. That’s you, Kathleen. In my opinion, she’s pretty useless on her own, at one time even almost causing a catastrophic event of causing trouble to others! She tries to be useful but what else is she good for? And seriously, in a world where Gibia are roaming free and so dangerous, look at the way she dresses. Heck, look at how everybody dresses! Shouldn’t they armed themselves to the eyeballs and protect themselves from unsuspecting Gibia stingers? I suppose we need to go kill Gibia in style and fashion, huh? So yeah, Kathleen’s dress that I am b*tching about isn’t the sexiest or most revealing outfit ever, but it is not Gibia battle worthy and it’s like as though she just came back shopping from Harajuku or something. Isn’t she cold exposing her midriff all the time? Oh, what’s this about her character? Nothing. Just wanted to go off track there.

Ayame feels like an SJW turned over a new leaf. Hah! That’s what you call judging a book by its cover. Like as though they wanted to play up some family sentiments here, hence the cop daughter and yakuza father that feels so cheesy. Renjiro isn’t entirely a bad dude. Society made him that way, remember that! Ayame isn’t a bad daughter. She still loves her father despite what he has become. And after their short cheesy reunion, this is how it all ends? It’s a subtle way of saying to go tell our parents we love them because one they they’ll no longer be around! Speaking of family, what about Yurika? I don’t know, sometimes I feel she is a bit of a senile and retard. Like as though she is a few steps away from losing her sanity. And look what happened to her? There’s your much needed family drama.

Ironically, I find Galients to be a more interesting lot despite their shorter appearances. Because this bunch of ragtag criminals sometimes feel like clowns! I mean, when you have a group that consists of an old yakuza father, a smooth criminal right hand man, a Rambo-shinobi fisherman, a Freddy Krueger-Punisher pole vaulter and a fatty nerd bomber, how is this not the most interesting and diverse group ever???!!! Sakuma being the most interesting and useful character of them all! He cooks and can connect power supplies in addition to making bombs! Plus, he tried to bomb the government but failed! The ‘ugliest’ looking Galients is the most interesting. So sorry for this dude. If I had to pick my ‘favourite’ character from this series, Sakuma is the man!

Voice acting feels pretty normal and if not wasted on everything else that is already so bad here. I was quite taken aback that I didn’t realize that it was Tetsuya Kakihara behind the voice of Sensui. I guess since Fairy Tail ended, there has been no big roles for this dude. Anyway, because he isn’t in his usual trademark loud and perky voice, I swore I could never have recognized him. Because Sensui is the kind of sullen and taciturn character so casting Tetsuya Kakihara seems like a mind boggling move. But it’s not my place to say. The other casts are Yukiyo Fujii as Kathleen (Kiriha in Strike The Blood), Hiroki Touchi as Kenroku (Estarossa in Nanatsu No Taizai), Michio Hazama as Yukinojo (Hans Georg Schubert in Monster), Emi Itou as Yurika, Hiroki Nanami as Ayame (Kenshin in Nobunaga The Fool), Shuuichi Ikeda as Yoshinaga (Shanks in One Piece), Kouji Ishii as Renjiro (Sakuraba in Idol Jihen), Hozumi Gouda as Guren (Leorio in Hunter x Hunter), Ryohei Kimura as Hamuro (Tsubasa in Kyoukai No Rinne), Hiromi Sakimoto as Mikimoto and Fukushi Ochiai as Sakuma (Kimura in Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san).

If there is one thing that I really liked about this series, it has to be the opener. I just wished it had not shared the same name as the series because each time when you say Gibiate, everyone thinks about the anime and not the opening song of the same name. This instrumental has some very good shamisen and electric guitar pickings. I guess this is the only part where they hired the renowned shamisen group, Yoshida Brothers and Sugizo (guitarist from Luna Sea/X Japan) to make this incredible piece of music and it paid off. It is fast paced and frantic and perhaps the only saving grace of this series. Not enough to save it even if it was the best instrumental masterpiece in history, but at least it helped in not making this the worst anime of the season. I mean, yes, it is one of the worst but thanks to this opener, it isn’t entirely bad. Unfortunately for the ending theme, Endless ~Toki Wo Koete~ by Maki Ohguro (damn, this the singer who sang the first opening of Chuuka Ichiban?! This Maki Ohguro?! I’m feeling old…) is just some generic and dramatic piece. I’m not saying it is bad but with an epic opener, this pales in comparison. One of the most notable BGMs include one that sound like a very typical tokusatsu song! I guess it’s not bad but sometimes it made me think a masked rider would just pop up somehow…

Overall, this anime is a huge disappointment after all the hype it has promoted of getting famous and distinguished and legendary creators from well-known franchises to pitch in for this production. What came out was a mess in almost every department that it makes the real year of 2020 look like child’s play! Seriously. Bad animation, bland characters, unexciting action scenes and boring story make this look like one big flashy wasted project. Unfortunately, this cannot be said like Gundou Musashi where it is so bad that it is good. It is so bad that it is just forgettable trash. It is no wonder that all the comments and reviews that I have read on the internet panned this nonsense to the max! Sure, we can laugh off the silly concept that it is utterly ridiculous for us to become monsters from a virus. Unfortunately bear in mind that we do not have a samurai, a ninja and a monk to help deal with this sh*t. Only dirty politicians and greedy large corporations and conglomerates. The true virus that is scarier than any sh*tty animes any time!!! Seriously! No vaccine for that any time soon. So, Gee-bye…

Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE!!! So this wasn’t done yet?! So apparently after 2 years since everything ended, Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san made a fourth OVA right at the end of 2020. I think I know why. Oh yeah. So if you don’t remember much about the real story of this series, don’t worry. You’re not required to. Because just like the series itself, we’re all just here for the delicious fanservice! Oh yeah. Now I see why they needed to remind us with this surprise. Bring it on! We needed something ‘strong’ to end that accursed year!

Hazukashi Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai
Oh no! Kogarashi is going to die! Lest he sees 12 girls in their pantsu! Wait. WHAT?! WTF???!!! Oh yeah. We’re starting this with a no brainer. Anyway, the simple explanation is that while at work, he got cursed by a spectre that put this stupid curse on him. For whatever reason. But it’s a good one seeing we need some fanservice. And what do you know? There are 12 babes in the room right now! Oh yeah. You know the drill. So we see the girls take turn showing their pantsu because as stated earlier on, making fake ones or photos don’t work. Heh. Smart curse. I bet lots of perverts want to be cursed by this. Oh wait. Unless you don’t have 12 girls who obviously or secretly love you, you’re screwed. But lucky for Kogarashi, we see all the 12 girls taking turns to show their undies at him. Yeah, some even fighting to show him theirs! Girls, girls. There is enough room and time for everyone to strut their stuff. So I guess they save the best for last because it is Yuuna. Because she is not wearing any!!! OMFG! I think it killed Kogarashi! Anyway on a serious note, it didn’t work so she has to materialize real pantsu for the curse to finally be lifted. Yay! Kogarashi is saved. However the curse activates again. Now they have to show their bra… OMFG… At this rate I think the curse will have them f*ck him…

Ahegao Na Kao Sare Nagara Ohadaka Ni Misete Moraitai
Somehow all the girls are here at the inn for some hotspring party. I know how this will turn out. So we see the lolis dump some sort of bath salt into the hotspring. Yeah, they dump everything! You know how it’s going to turn out, right? Kogarashi who gets permission to join in earlier on because all the girls will be on their best behaviour and put on a towel (yeah, right!) so when he finishes his chores and steps into the bath area, suddenly the bath salt takes effect. Apparently this is a very powerful aphrodisiac that makes the girls lose control over their will. Read: They become horny sluts. So now it becomes a madhouse as they all strip naked to show their boobs as well as get ready to pounce and f*ck Kogarashi! Yup, a chaotic rush as the girls try to usurp each other trying to get laid. Each has their own 10 seconds of fame because whether they are molesting him with their body or boobs but before they can get to the sex act, they are usurped by the next girl. Thankfully it is Kogarashi’s strong will that puts a stop to all this libido madness. Though, it traumatizes him for quite a while. F*cking Kogarashi, are you f*cking gay?!

Haunted House Of Horny Hoes
Oh wow. That was certainly worth the wait of 2 years!!! It was definitely nonsense and garbage but I believe it did what it needed to do so no questions about it. After all, those who knew about the series would’ve already know what to expect in the first place. For those who don’t and innocently and curiously stepped into this and got the shock of their lives, my condolences. So yeah, this OVA don’t skimp on the fanservice with all the bare boobs and pantsu being shown to us. Definitely worth the wait. And like I said, don’t worry if you don’t even remember what the f*cking plot is. You don’t have to anyway. So I don’t understand why at the end of this OVA they need to have that touching moment of Kogarashi and Yuuna, assuring us that they want to stay like this for a longer while instead of being ascended to heaven. I can see why. With all the slutty rivalry with Kogarashi, how can Yuuna go in peace?! Oops. I mean, having fun with your friends is the best, right?!

But is it me or does this OVA suddenly introduce a bunch of new female characters?! I might not remember much about the series and the characters but I am very sure the series doesn’t have this much babes. Who the f*ck is that Hibari girl? Karura? Mikogami? Miria? Who those girls, dude?! So yeah, I figure with the 2 years of absence, those who don’t follow the manga may find themselves lost. On a side note, the manga ended in mid-2020! Last chance saloon to introduce them? Maybe they did appear in a very short cameo in the TV series or previous OVAs. But anyway, even with their debut here, I suppose it doesn’t make any difference since everybody will eventually be the same, fighting over Kogarashi’s love, showing their pantsu, showing their boobs, getting slutty and horny when the fanservice plot commands it. Oh well, the more the merrier.

Overall, there is nothing left for me to say about this single OVA. It did what it had to do and satisfied a lot of horny otaku perverts out there who wished they monopolized the inn just like Kogarashi did. A harem of spiritual beings is better than no harem at all. Since the manga has already ended, I’m not sure if this is a precursor to have another season but since I heard of no such announcement, I guess this OVA is indeed the last one. Oh my. What a way to make us nostalgic and go back to rewatch the fanservice goodness of this series. Otherwise, this series may have finally well rest in peace and ascended to horny heaven. Or hell. RIP Yuuna and co. Time to move on to the next fanservice and ecchi filled series. Ah, the curse of the living…


January 22, 2021

Damn, I thought this was an anime about that ubiquitous food in Japan. But from its kanji writing, I guess it is valid that Onigiri means Demon Cutter. Because Demon Slayer is already taken. Oh wait. Onigiri came out back in 2016 but Kimetsu No Yaiba was back in 2018. But anyway, this anime is one of those shorts adapted from a popular MMORPG of the same name then. And you’ve guessed it from the title. It’s about a group of humans in ancient Japan going about cutting up demons. Damn, I still can’t believe this anime doesn’t have anything to do with that rice ball grub.

Episode 1
As narrated, when the seal was broken, monsters known as Kamikui descended and caused chaos. Hence a bunch of girls (and a guy?) go round killing them. While attacking a bunch, Yoshitsune wants Shizuka Gozen to deliver the finishing blow for glory. However the rest wants a piece of it too and during the heat of the argument, Kamikui fight back and blow them away. Yoshitsune and Shizuka are blown far away to Satsuma. They see a bunch of Kamikui surrounding hapless ladies. Going into attacking mode, they pull no punches and pull off every weapon they have in their arsenal to do some big overkill! Oh yeah. The body count is rising fast! Before they could do the final blow, they are suddenly whisked away. Apparently the admin detected some faulty tool they’re using. So, they’re cheating? Because of that, their account is suspended for a week while pending investigations.

Episode 2
Shizuka and Yoshitsune are on their way back when they stumble into their friend, Douji Ibaraki who in turn bring them another friend of hers who run a sweets store. It seems she is facing a problem. Something about her sweets going to be taken over by another so she hopes some kind travellers will help her. Yoshitsune knows it is crocodile tears but with the other simpletons believing it, what else is there to do? So they go hunting for bat monsters who are the source of the sweets? Don’t let it bite your ass… Once they get into the groove, they start harvesting loads of them. Yeah, let’s make it more interesting by overkilling them with overpowered weapons! And then déjà vu… Because the admin detects unfair tools and hence suspend their account for another week.

Episode 3
A huge Kamikui, Mephistopheles attacks the land. Amaterasu and her angels go attack it but we’re completely owned. Oh, Amaterasu panicking and wished her friends are here to help? Yeah, they’re busy enjoying their ramen somewhere… Mephistopheles suddenly stops moving. And then cries?! It is revealed she is insecure about her height and couldn’t get cute boys to talk to her? Amaterasu pities her and thinks of holding a girl’s night out with her. Everything seems to have calmed down until Mephistopheles spots a famous dating spot and destroys it! Curse those baka couples! And Amaterasu is cursing for her friends to come help. Speaking of which, they just finished their ramen. Having stomach discomfort?

Episode 4
Shizuka’s group is now in Nagato but they are down and out from pufferfish poisoning! No, this is not an effect of the Kamikui! We shift to a bunch of looney characters who are out to steal Shizuka’s treasures. They are Uzume, Kijimuna and Veronica Vasilyevna Voynitsky. They make a joke out of how hard it is to pronounce Veronica’s full name. Like, each time Kijimuna slips, he dies and loses his experience and gold! Then fanservice battle because Uzume thinks she has all the curves that would easily beat Veronica’s washboard. However Veronica accidentally gets wet and this increases her sexiness level even further. Not to mention the producers putting more drawing details into Veronica. Kijimuna has them all calm down with lunch. Is that pufferfish?! Yeah, damn food poisoning took them out…

Episode 5
As Jin and Sakura fight the Kamikui, Jin feels bad for dragging Sakura into this. However she doesn’t regret it and cue for flashback on how they first met. The most cliché way of how a high school boy and girl meet. They bumped into each other, he saw her pantsu and she got mad and slapped him. And then soon she delivered some love letter to him but she claimed it was on behalf of her friend. But he rejected her? Next few scenes we see them doing things together and it’s like they’ve fallen for each other. And that’s how they end up fighting Kamikui together! Doesn’t explain anything!

Episode 6
Shizuka, Yoshitsune and Kaguya brave the sandstorm to reach an elusive store that sells lotteries? Well, it’s a miracle store that gives 10 times the chance of winning prizes. Oh damn, Shizuka splurging all her cash? I guess this betters her chances. Shizuka doesn’t thinks she could win on her first try but she pulls out a super rare legendary holy staff!!! Shizuka wanted to give Kaguya this so they could fight Kamikui together. But since Kaguya is being modest (despite her body actions just itching to take it), Shizuka throws it away! What a waste! Yeah, somebody got it and started some new legend that has nothing to do with this series! Now it is Kaguya’s turn. Uh huh. She gets all crappy and creepy items. Even winning those that are in decimal point range of rate chances?! This is sure crap! Shizuka decides to unleash her demonic eye and be one with the universe to pull off the greatest miracle. And she gets… Another crappy and creepy item. Wow. This is what a real loser looks like…

Episode 7
Shizuka’s side and Uzume’s side are drinking together?! Well, they were here to fight some Kamikui Satan. However no such monster and it is now a tourist spot. So you can see all the girls are drinking and getting drunk at this point. Kijimuna getting killed and revived from all their shenanigans. Heck, even Yoshitsune wants to have a try at killing it! What a brutal (but profitable) death! Then finally they bait us with some yuri lesbian sh*t with Shizuka and Uzume. Oh damn! Things are getting hot! Shizuka leading over subservient Uzume?! Something steamy going to happen as Shizuka carries Uzume away to somewhere private?! Will a new legend begin?!

Episode 8
Our girls have been cursed by some tanuki and turned chibi. Uzume finds them cute but Veronica gets jealous. Nobody is cuter than her! Too bad our chibi girls can still easily kick ass. They are approached by a producer of a talent agency, Shako Kamie who wants to turn them into famous idols. Damn, she’s already laid out the plans of what they’ll do to achieve that stardom! Oh yeah. All that glamour and fame, can’t resist it. 2 years later, Onigiri 5 is now a super famous idol group and they’re performing at some super famous concert filled to the brim with screaming fans.

Episode 9
We see a couple of Kamikui enjoying ramen. Yeah, they actually love it. For visual appeasement, we see them as cute humanoid girls, Gako and Gagomi. Yeah, this looks much better. However nearby, humans come to kill them and destroy their kind. They make a run for it but those barbarians give chase. In the end, Gagomi sacrifices herself to take out the humans while Gako gets washed away. When she wakes up, she is in the company of Shizuka and co. Gako has no memories of what happened. But when they feed her ramen, she can’t understand why tears start streaming. Is this supposed to be a sad episode?!

Episode 10
Shizuka is treating Gako well and treats her like her own sister. This causes Yoshitsune and Uzume to be very jealous. Shizuka continues to hang out with Gako until one point the jealous b*tches unleash a random Kamikui to attack them. Some twisted reasoning that this can win her love back. Whatever. Of course Shizuka is stronger and easily defeats it. However this act of Shizuka protecting Gako has the latter remember her original memories. Gako turns hostile towards Shizuka and turns into her gargoyle mode to kill her.

Episode 11
Shizuka and Gako fight. The latter is disheartened despite the times they spent together, Gako still wants to kill her. When Gako questions her mission, Shizuka contradicts herself it is to kill Kamikui! Didn’t she say humans and Kamikui can be friends?! How are they separate matters?! Fight interrupted when a giant Kamikui from space threaten to destroy the land. Since this land holds many special memories of Gagomi, Gako fights alongside Shizuka and her comrades to defeat it. Even summoning the spirit of Gagomi to vanquish the evil?! Probably it’s up to us to form our own conclusions what came to be of Gako and Gagomi. Happily together in the wheat field…

Episode 12
A giant Kamikui mecha is terrorizing the land. How to deal with it? Our Kamikui slayers ride an equally huge mecha, Benkei to tackle it! Yeah, they needed to include the mecha trope somehow. However it soon runs out of power. It doesn’t run on ordinary fuel but the willpower of those otaku drawing the animation! Even if they are given energy drinks to keep running, it is still not enough. Yoshitsune then decides to lend her power and soon the other girls follow. This powers up Benkei enough to finally defeat the Kamikui and the people of the land rejoice over their brave victory.

Episode 13
So the Kamikui girls are forced to evaluate what they have done so far? The system rep says because they’ve gone too far, they can’t do anymore extravagant action scenes. Hence they have to ‘repent’ their actions by doing a few random embarrassing and sexy fanservice pose of outfits. Oh yeah. Your 30 seconds of depravity here. Meanwhile, Jin and Sakura are being defeated by Uzume, Veronica, Kijimuna (in hot chick form) as well as other hot chick antagonists like Souryu, Satan, Lucifer and Mephistopheles. But don’t worry, the Kamikui girls return to help fight off the evil! Let’s go everyone!

Oh No! Giri-giri…
Oh. So they say the story will only continue if we create more of them? Thank goodness there are no more so this means there won’t be any sequels whatsoever, right? Hooray! Because I don’t think I’m really impressed with all the random crap that they’ve been churning out. Yes, crap and not story. Crap is something anybody can write but a good story is hard to come by these days. So I guess if you really want your ‘continuation story’, go play the game then. And of course it is that when you play the game you can ‘create’ that new story of your own. So go forth our brave Kamikui heroines. Your story shall be continued whoever is interested in playing the game. That’s not me for sure. Bye girls. System admin might kick me out and forever banned because I’m too harsh on you cutie pies.

Anyway, this kind of short anime series that was based on a popular game but the adapted version turned out to be such a bore and uninteresting somewhat reminds me of those animes that were similar adapted in the same fashion that I have watched such as Tenka Hyakken: Meiji-kan E Youkoso, Hagane Orchestra and Dolls’ Frontline. Am I seeing some sort of trend here or is it a given that when such games are being adapted, they don’t really convert well. Obviously with television shows and video games being very different entertainment mediums, there is bound for something to be lost in translation. Obviously, games you get to choose and more importantly interact but for the TV, you’re just given and made to accept everything without a chance of being in charge of your own destiny. And it is with this, the reason I feel Onigiri has failed to entertain me the slightest. Not that I played the game or even heard of the game until I decided to pick up the anime! Even so, it didn’t make me a single bit interested to further find out more about the game except just for a few lazy research for this blog. Yeah…

Like I’ve said, I haven’t heard or know it as a game before so when I dived in watching the series, there were lots of things that I didn’t really understand. Of course this series was meant to be funny and there were many situational comedies that would obviously make you laugh. What I’m trying to say is that, for someone who knows nothing about the game, all the episodes here feel so random like as though the producers just wanted to make fun and parody a few stuffs so as to make us laugh and squeal over the cute female characters. After all, the game is about cutting down Kamikui and it would be utterly boring if this was a serious hack and slash action adventure. So why not have the characters in some seemingly mindless comedic (mis)adventures anyway? Like, what have they got to lose, right? Hardcore fans are already locked in so this unentertaining adaptation would be unlikely to sway them to stop playing the game. Trying to get potential newbies to play the game, well, my sentiments have always been the same about this type of adaptation: Not good. So this might serve more as an exposure rather than a recruitment drive for new players. I think. Plus, with system admin seen suspending accounts, I don’t think people these days are motivated to play even if it’s to punish cheating. I know it’s a running joke but where’s the fun in that?! Isn’t the goal to kill Kamikui even if you used underhanded tactics?! Some dumb game, no wonder I don’t want to play! Hmph!

So if I am not amused with the story, what about the characters? You’ve guessed it. I’m not really impressed either. It feels like all of them are dumb just to add to the comedic factor. Just because they are looking cute, we look past that factor. I mean, how much more can you squeeze out of these characters? No wonder in the opening credits, they quickly list down the characters’ stats. If you care enough to pause and read them. So what else do we know about Shizuka? Don’t know. Dumb girl. Genki girl. She’s the main heroine. Yoshitsune? Dumb girl. Strict girl. Possible yuri for Shizuka but don’t put too much hope on it. Ibaraki? Dumb girl. Drunk girl. The other comic relief. Sakura, Kaguya and Amaterasu appear way much lesser so they aren’t that memorable. I don’t think I even remember how they look like if they pop up before me right now. I thought Uzume and Veronica had potential but they are also very minimal even if they are supposed to be the series’ antagonist or perhaps a milder version of Team Rocket. Like, Kijimuna’s running joke is to get killed and be resurrected, losing some coins, experience and his accumulated life total in the process. Makes you wonder why he isn’t really dead yet. And they introduced a whole bunch of new characters at the end? So cliché but I guess we don’t care at this point.

‘Best character’ goes to Jin because he is the silent protagonist. Oops, make that silent minor character. Because he doesn’t speak and has no lines since they’re obviously they are trying to break the fourth wall and tell us that there are no male voiceovers in the game. Not that he really matters anyway in the series. I guess that is one of the ‘advantages’ of not appearing as much because we’ve seen how dumb all the girls are that in this context it makes Jin the better one. I mean, you wonder if the girls are taking their job serious in cutting down all the Kamikui. Sometimes it feels like dumb luck because if they’re not cutting down demons, they’re frolicking. Oh well, got to have fun in between. Like the opening credits animation sees them dancing so lively like as though they are better off being idols than demon cutters. Oh wait. Didn’t they become that in one of the episodes?!

Art and animation are surprisingly good. Oh well, it is a short anime so got to put some effort into its 4 minutes of running time. Of course, all the girls have this cute looks because that’s just how the way it is. I mean, would you pick an ugly broad as one of your main or supporting characters?! And the Kamikui designs are pretty okay either. Not really that menacing but not really that scary either. This anime is done by Pierrot Plus who did Sabegebu, Konbini Kareshi and Mahou Shoujo Ore.

Overall, this isn’t actually a bad series but there isn’t anything interesting that would make me want to like it in the long run. That is, when I decide to think back on some nostalgic animes I have watched over the years, I’m sure this would be pretty forgettable by next season and totally dropped out from my mind after about a year. Unless I go back and look back at this blog again. Ah, the memories… Sure, the funny bits are there but overall it is still boring and plain. So what obligatory fanservice and action sequences? That is so standard these days. So what would make a better Onigiri adaptation, you ask? Onigiri crazy girls who hunt high and low all over Japan to seek the best and elusive onigiri to enjoy! Better a simple humble sandwich rice ball than a bunch of dumb but cute looking demon cutters. More satisfying the onigiri in your stomach than cutting up one. Yum… See, I can write better crap stories too!


January 17, 2021

Boy, do Koreans love God in their fiction works? Of course it is just a big coincidence but I can’t help think that after Tower Of God and The God Of High School, both stories in which originated from Korean authors, it somewhat reminded me that there was another Korean based series, Kurokami. Literally that translates as Black God. Because the internet wasn’t as widespread back in 2009, it wasn’t a webtoon but manhwa. That’s Korean manga to simply put it. So with that, the most ridiculous reason for me to check this old series out and find out why Koreans are fascinated with at least putting God in their titles. And also to check another retro series off my list. I should become the God of anime at the rate I am watching animes this year and the last…

Episode 1
Keita Ibuki looks like a normal kid. Normal high school life (though always late to class), hangs out by himself after school and giving excuses to turn down invitation to hang out with his classmates. Later that day, he sees a woman waiting at the train station. Not sure if his bicycle can chase after the train and of course he loses sight of her. Apparently that woman bears a striking resemblance to his late mom, Maki who died in a hit and run accident. Next day in school, he heard his friends talking about seeing their own doppelganger at a concert they attended yesterday. Later while he is eating ramen at the stall, this strange girl, Kuro doesn’t have enough money to buy her own ramen. So she’s staring at Keita’s… Kind boy gives it to her. Don’t worry, it’s almost time daddy credits his monthly allowance. When Keita talks about the strange fate of meeting your doppelganger, Kuro dismisses it as a myth. To be more accurate, there is a system to maintain such balance called 1 in 3. All 3 have different fates and if any of the 2 who meet up will subsequently disappear. The remaining one will then absorb their fates. This means Maki wasn’t the original and just a filler. Suddenly a mad man whacks Kuro from behind with a baseball bat. He continues beating her up till Keita intervenes. Too bad he isn’t much of a fighter. Kuro revives and gets mad for the spilled ramen. You’d think she’d pull off some super moves now but nope. She continues to get beaten up! This guy isn’t going to kill her because of orders to bring her back alive. But when he lets his guard down, I guess Kuro is finally warmed up and sends him flying with her super combos. In the end, Kuro apologizes to Keita for dragging him into this. She goes off to kill her brother. Keita isn’t living all alone because Akane Sano who is his childhood friend helps take care of him. She thinks Keita hasn’t been making friends since because of some jinx he thought he brought to a friend. Then sad news on TV, looks like one of his classmates got killed. So this gives him a pass to skip school and scream out his lungs at his hideout? Feeling much better? While waiting to cross the road, Mayu who is his kid neighbour tells him that she saw a person that looked just like her. Before Keita could do or say anything, a f*cking speeding truck rams and kills Mayu!!! WTF???!!!

Episode 2
Seiji beats up the punk who lost to Kuro and then has the others from his Tribal End gang to go look for her. Keita attends Mayu’s funeral as he remembers the moment mom died. Slightly before that, she saw her own doppelganger. One day he returns from school, he is shocked to see Kuro at his place rummaging through his fridge! Apparently her dog, Punipuni remembers his scent and sniffed his way here. Also, Kuro was hungry and was saved by Akane. Akane is about to cook for Kuro but Keita who is sick of all that has happened, tells her to leave. Hey, it’s his place. So he has the right to kick her out. After Kuro leaves, Keita goes to treat her who is bumming around at the park? Change of heart or does he need to know more about what’s going on? I thought he didn’t want to get involved anymore? Anyway, Kuro explains the Doppeliner system. People like Kuro are called Mototsumitama and their role is to keep the balance of coexistence. As all beings receive an equal amount of Tera (basically luck), but due to fate, a person’s soul is divided into 3. So when a doppelganger meets another, the one with the lower Tera will be absorbed into the higher one. Hence the remaining one will absorb all Tera and become the Master Root. Talk interrupted when Seiji and his men are here. Seiji has killed and devoured 4 Mototsumitama so that he could go to a higher place. That’s why he wants to kill Kuro too. His men can’t fight on par with Kuro so I guess it’s just to test her aptitude. Seiji then fights her and she is surprised he can use a type of power called Exceed. This is possible of the high grade Mototsumitama he consumed. Kuro takes a beating. Keita on the other hand is too scared to call the police. He just stood there and got killed by Seiji. This angers Kuro as he beats up Seiji and takes Keita to escape. She then heals him by fusing their souls whatever and making some contract. Done in time because Seiji’s back for payback. With the contract, Keita seems to be in sync with Kuro as they could fight better and send Seiji to his electrifying defeat.

Episode 3
Steiner and Excel are in town as they’ve detected large amounts of Tera. Like as though somebody is trying to mass produce the Master Root. Kuro is glad that Keita is okay. But for the next few days, she wants him to stay near him until their hearts are completely integrated. Say what? You see, when they made the contract, they switched hearts! Straying too far might cause some damage. Kuro also hopes they can do Synchro. It’s some move that allows them to well, synchronize and activate an incredible power during combat. Good luck trying to explain all that Akane without sounding like a girl who wants to sleep with Keita. With Keita being distant (can’t blame him since he is still traumatized), Kuro talks to Akane to find out more about Keita. Yeah, believe it he is a nice kid despite his outlooks. When Keita is in school, a couple of Tribal End punks barge into his home to kidnap Kuro who is home alone. She takes a beating and Keita can feel some pain in his heart. Kuro manages to give them the slip and escapes. When Keita is about to go home to check on her, his teacher wants to talk to him about the Doppeliner system he told him the other day. It seems he believes in such a system where the one with the highest luck is chosen to survive. He also thinks Keita should help contribute to society as such a path will save him. Just then, Kuro enters school to seek Keita’s help. She recognizes sensei as part of Tribal End. Sensei shows his true colours as he beats up a weakened Kuro and thanks Keita that this will earn great promotion for him. Keita can’t take any more of this and uses the fire extinguisher on him to buy some time to escape. They can’t run forever, though. When Keita learns sensei was the one who leaked info on his students and partly caused their deaths, that’s the last straw. He does Synchro with Kuro and instantly she powers up that her punches send sensei flying!!! OMFG!!!

Episode 4
Steiner and Excel visit Akane working at the bank personally under the guise as customers. They sense great Tera from her but note she is not contracted to a Mototsumitama. When Akane leaves, they tail her. She meets up with Keita and Kuro at the diner. Keita tells of how they beat up their sensei although he started the attack. Now they are on the run and can’t go back to school. When Akane suggests calling the cops, Kuro disagrees. So the cops are behind this? More like, she stole bananas, got arrested and thrown into prison and then busted out! Oh sh*t. When Kuro notes that since they have Synchro, they are now almost invincible and can take on her brother, Keita throws a fit. He didn’t agree to all this and now she wants him to help kill her brother? F*ck off! Man, cool down! Meanwhile sensei is being tortured by Hiyou for his failure. But he spares his life after he spills some useful info. Hiyou then takes this chance to experiment on him in trying to form a contract without using the heart. Whatever it is, it looks painful. Ouch. Daichi Kuraki sees Yuki Kaionji for some approval but she is not pleased he still hasn’t found what she wants. As Kuro apologizes for all the trouble to Keita but also gives some hope that contractors can benefit each other in the long term, Keita was observant to notice Steiner and Excel have been observing them all day in that stationary car. Immediately he takes the girls to run but bad luck has it that they stumble into Tribal End, biker version! These guys have orders from Hiyou to take Kuro back alive and kill the rest. Those guys use their bikes to bully and beat up Kuro. Keita can’t do sh*t. Before Akane gets owned, Steiner comes to her rescue. This guys just punches everybody! Bikers get scared and escape?! Steiner wants Keita to come with them for interrogation. Instead, Keita punches him and is mad for dragging all of them into this. So f*ck off! However that punch signals a challenge. This means they have to fight. Who the f*ck made such rules?!

Episode 5
Trolling us with Kuro beating up Steiner, he is just testing waters because now it’s turn to give her a beat down. They’re so confident that Excel thinks they don’t even need to use Synchro to beat them. So when Keita starts using Synchro with Kuro, she is able to pull off an Exceed move. As Excel explains, the ones used by Tribal End are fake and have their limits. Time to end this so the veterans use their Synchro and Steiner using his Exceed of cloning himself to beat down the duo. With today’s lesson over, Exceed will tell them things in exchange for inviting out to tea. Excel and Steiner are from a group known as Noble One. It is a union of Mototsumitama tasked in keeping the balance in Europe. So if Noble One detected some unbalance in Japan and made this their mission, isn’t there a Mototsumitama union at least for Asia? I guess not. It seems this unbalance started 7 years ago in Okinawa (so now they’re only taking action?) and their only clue is a photo. To Keita and Kuro’s surprise, Maki is in that picture. Could it be her clone? From that photo date, Maki is still alive so they aren’t sure. Also, Okinawa is Maki’s birthplace. There are no further clues and the agent who took this picture got killed. So I guess that’s why they took so long to investigate because secret investigations have been leading Noble One to dead ends? They take their leave and since Keita and Kuro can Synchro, they can defend themselves. Later Kuro reveals that in the photo, the guy with a tattoo is her brother. That’s why she is going to Okinawa to settle things. You mean she’s going to walk and swim there?! Does she know how far that is?! Because it’s an excuse that Keita will also come with her. Not for her. But to confirm his own things. Okay, but is he going to walk and swim with her there???!!! Meanwhile those biker dudes get killed off by Mikami Houjou. Well, if they can’t live up to Hiyou’s standards, he’s going to send somebody to kill you!

Episode 6
Hiyou gives Mikami medicine as payment for her job. If she succeeds in getting Kuro, she’ll get more. Mikami confronts Keita and gets straight to the point that she just wants Kuro. Please hand her over. You think he’ll do that? Didn’t think so. Also, Keita gets beaten up by her as Mikami calls Akane to speak to Kuro that she has Keita as hostage. If she wants him, come to a certain place. Meanwhile Steiner and Excel barge into an illegal factory run by Tribal End. They discover horrifying Mototsumitama experiments as well as some holy stone fragment that is used to suck all Tera out from a Mototsumitama. Back at Mikami’s place, she tells Keita that he is only a Sub, one who will die and will be absorbed by the Master Root. Keita is shocked because Kuro didn’t say anything. Mikami then goes to tend to Shingo, her partner whom she gets the medicine for. At that time, Kuro arrives and Keita lashes out at her for not telling everything. Kuro feels sorry but thinks as long as they trust each other, everything will be okay. Mikami doesn’t think so because in the end, Subs will always die. Shingo is a living example of it. He is a Sub and contracted with Mikami 10 years ago. Despite only in his 30s, he looks like an old man. This is the effect of using too much Synchro. All that’s left is for the Mototsumitama ladies to fight. With Kuro losing, Shingo encourages Keita to help her. She might die, you know. This traumatizes Keita since he doesn’t want to see more deaths. He does Synchro to power up Kuro. She manages to fight back as Shingo too wants to Synchro with Mikami. Have faith in him. He is not as frail as she thinks he is. With both sides now in full power, Mikami still has the upper hand. Both realize they need to end this fast as this taking a toll on their Subs. Kuro takes a beating but it is to wait for an opening to give one powerful punch in her face. Too bad it didn’t work. When Mikami delivers the final blow to Kuro, it seems it costs Shingo his life. Mikami is distraught as Shingo’s last words to her are not to blame those 2. Thanks to them, they manage to fight together at full force and he has always wanted to go out coolly like this. Well, Mikami doesn’t think it’s cool dying like that. RIP, Shingo.

Episode 7
No Okinawa travelling woes because Akane took leave and will be following them. Meanwhile Hiyou is not pleased somebody trashed his factory. He is going to get Kuro. Later, Keita and co see a few Tribal End guys chasing down a pair. Had not Riona Kogure get slightly injured, her Mototsumitama, Yakumo wouldn’t have pulled off amazing kung fu moves to defeat the enemies. Yakumo recognizes Kuro since she is the princess of their tribe. Introducing Riona, she is the Master Root. The Kaionji Group may be a conglomerate but behind the shadows they are experimenting with making Master Roots. When one becomes so, they are placed under their care. However this is for an experiment and that’s why Riona ran away. Luckily she stumbled into Yakumo who protected her. They heard rumours that some bigshot is going to Okinawa with some Master Roots. It could be Reishin who is Kuro’s brother. Since Keita doesn’t want to be left in the dark, time for Kuro to tell her past. Mototsumitama live in some other world surrounded by a barrier. Some holy stone protects the land and fills it with Tera. One day, Reishin killed many of his people and even his mother. Then he decided to go down to Earth to create a new world and destroy the world’s fate. Kuro became distraught and that’s why she hunted him down. Depending on his answer, she will kill him. Kuro is confronted by Hiyou, one who was banished from the land because of the experiments he performed on humans. Hiyou will tell her anything if she becomes his. Since she won’t, he will kill Keita. Obviously he is weak and a pussy. Hiyou even egging him to use Synchro and fight him. They did but Hiyou is still too strong. Maybe Yakumo and Riona can help. It did. So much so Hiyou abandons their fight for next time. While waiting for the plane to Okinawa, Keita feels sorry that Kuro too lost her mom. Never knew that, huh? Suddenly Kuro cries, creating a really awkward public situation so time for Keita to give his assurance to fight alongside her. Feel better? Before they leave, Excel gives Keita a special ring, Thousand. It’s to enhance his Tera power. Of course he has to practice daily to use it properly. Then it’s like a farewell present as Excel kisses Keita! Don’t worry, Yakumo’s got Kuro’s eyes all covered.

Episode 8
Akane is still bugged by Excel’s kiss so she hugs Keita’s arm tightly? Arriving at Okinawa, the trio head to Keita’s grandpa’s place. They get down to business as Keita shows that picture. Grandpa doesn’t recall this and wonders if this is really his mom. Keita is of course at a lost to explain the complicated stuffs to grandpa. Oh well, Kuro starts off ranting about the Doppeliner system as well as being contracted to Keita. Did you get all that? Okay, don’t sweat the details for now. Let’s just feast and have fun! Kuro gonna love all the food and Akane getting drunk… Next day, they even have the whole day having fun at the beach. Hey, I thought Keita said they didn’t come here to have fun? Might as well. Because as they head back, they are attacked by local twin Mototsumitama, Kakuma and Makana. They think Keita and co are bad guys after the local holy stone because of that picture. Kuro gets beaten up and Keita restrained. Keita then remembers Excel’s words on Thousand and with that, it resonates and gives Kuro enough power to fight back till the Okinawan twins give up. They explain that 7 years ago, the Shishigami group came to Okinawa in search for the holy stone. The local Mototsumitama fought to protect that but all died except the twins. Keita wonders if mom had a hand in killing the locals too. The twins vowed to continue protecting the land and don’t need their help despite sensing a large amount of Tera flowing into Okinawa recently. This large flow is thanks to all the Master Roots being invited here by Kaionji Group. Kuraki plays host to them and tells them about their gathering as a secret mission to find and destroy the holy stones. As the holy stones’ location are previously unknown, under this new project, by gathering large amounts of Tera, it will cause the holy stones to react and pinpoint their location. By destroying it all and causing some unbalance, they will destroy this world and create a new one consisting of only the Mototsumitama and the chosen Master Roots.

Episode 9
Yuki is getting impatient as she talks to Reishin about quickly finding her counterpart. Once she becomes the Master Root, she’ll show her father and siblings of her place in the Kaionji Group. But she has to be ushered away since Noble One is here to capture Reishin. Reishin goes fight them as he reveals his plans to destroy this world in place of a new one. Though, he hints he won’t be the true god. After a short fight, Reishin escapes. Now we see Kuraki talking to Raiga. He is Keita’s childhood friend and after Maki died, he became curious about the Doppeliner system and hacked into the Kaionji Group’s server to do more research. He then confronted Reishin about this Master Root plan thingy as Kaionji Group has surveillance cameras in all their subsidiaries to find people with identical faces. Reishin hired him since they share the same goal to create a new world together. But Kuraki knows that is just a cover up and his plan is to bring chaos to the world by destroying the holy stones. As Keita practises by himself, he is shocked to see Maki before him. More precisely, the Master Root Maki. He confirms with her that she was indeed here 7 years ago but she claims she was brought here to fight Mototsumitama. She feels bad that his mom is a Sub. Had they not met, she would’ve still been alive. Kakuma and Makana are happy to see Raiga alive. However he beats them up and kidnaps Kakuma. Makana goes to Kuro for help but Hiyou is here to take her with him. Just the mention that Keita might be dead has her guard down as he takes her out. Maki steals Keita’s Tera until he is died out. But looks like Keita could sense Kuro being going to be raped by Hiyou so is that the power that revives him? Maki gets some payback because Keita uses Thousand to blast her away!

Episode 10
Kuraki sees Akane and wants her to come with him. Meanwhile Kakuma wakes up and sees Reishin before him. She recognizes this killer and thinks no matter what he does to her, she won’t reveal the location of the holy stone. Well, the joke’s on her. He already got the key. It’s you, Kakuma. Hiyou trying to rape Kuro! She fights back but thankfully she powers up because Keita is here. However she is still no match since Shinobu (that Maki clone) is here to keep Keita busy. She is also contracted to Hiyou so they Synchro as Hiyou shows his Exceed. So basically he is a water bender. As for why Shinobu can absorb Tera despite being human, it is because she is a Minus Root. What?! Apparently if a Sub kills the Root, they become one. Then it is revealed she was the one who killed Maki. Short flashback shows Shinobu is always unlucky. Her life is just one big misery. Until Hiyou picked her up and told her about the Doppeliner system. So when she found her Root, that’s when she drove her car and killed Maki. Shinobu tries to get Keita to come to their side and perhaps Hiyou will help him find and kill his Root. Well, Keita doesn’t think so. Because Maki claims she is happy but she doesn’t look happy. Besides, that kind of happiness isn’t what she wants. So this is enough to rile Shinobu up, enough for Keita to punch and knock her out? Oh well, it’s about time he gives Kuro some power to fight back Hiyou who is still trying to rape her. Hiyou remains cocky that despite powering up, this won’t be enough to stop him. But Keita puts all his focus to power up Kuro and this single punch sends Hiyou flying through the caves’ columns! And somehow that affected Shinobu. Now she feels scared of dying and felt all she wanted was just happiness. Too bad she ran out of luck and died. RIP, Shinobu. Keita feels sad for her and wonders what decision he will make if he meets his Root. As they emerge out, Kuraki is waiting for them. Took a while for Keita to recognize him but when he does, he coughs blood and collapses?! Too dramatic! In the aftermath, we see Hiyou in a pod and scared to death as Kuraki has Raiga who is also his Mototsumitama take all his Tera.

Episode 11
Flashback shows Kuraki was known as Sawamura and was Keita’s classmate but he died. However he faked his death back then just to work with Reishin and research more on the Doppeliner system. The real Kuraki committee suicide so he took on his identify because it would be odd if he suddenly disappears. Before you can scream traitor, Kuraki plans to revolt against Reishin and that’s why he wants Keita to join him. You see, Kuraki realized Reishin was misusing the system to create a world only convenient to Mototsumitama. He thinks such system should be administered by humans and stop being controlled by fate. Kuraki is into all this thanks to Keita. Further flashback reveals Kuraki was a nerd so he was often bullied. But Keita stepped in to help in and Kuraki knew Keita was just a hypocrite since he was always distancing himself and not making any friends. Then they talked as he learnt Keita did so because of this fate thingy where the people closes to him always dies. He accepted that he can’t run away from his fate and even more so when Kuraki died. That was when Kuraki became interested in this fate thingy. Now he wants to save Keita and with his technology, he can avoid the Root and Sub from meeting. Keita rests up but despite being weak, he still needs to go with Kuro to fight Reishin. Cue for your cheesy Akane tears and pleas for him to stay by his side. Understood. But he still needs to go. Cue for your cheesy Akane kiss. Is that a charm for him to come back safely? Kuro meets up with Makana to find her twin but unfortunately she could feel Kakuma has died. Raiga killed her and dipped his blood soaked hands into the sea. It then shows a path that breaks the barrier concealing the holy land. This is where the holy stone is. Kuro doesn’t have to go alone. Keita is here. So they’re gonna swim there?! Kuraki tells Akane to stay here because it’s the safest place. He reveals she is a Sub and her Root is Yuki. You know what will happen if her men finds her, right? But later he calls Yuki to tell her she has found her doppelganger! Reishin is on the holy land and before the holy stone. Kuro and Keita too. Hi onii-san. Long time no see.

Episode 12
Even with Synchro and Exceed, Kuro cannot best Reishin. And this is draining Keita fast. Kuro won’t risk his life but Keita is willing to risk it all. He might die at this rate. Why did she come here in the first place? Too bad that’s the end of this sappy drama because Keita passes out. Here comes Yakumo and Riona to take on Reishin but are usurp by Steiner and Excel. You weaklings take Kuro and Keita to safety while they deal with the big boss. We see the big power fight between Reishin and Steiner. Reishin having the upper hand until Steiner uses his cloning Exceed. Just when Steiner thought he won, Reishin pulls off a powerful move. Next thing we know, Steiner’s clone takes Excel to safety and the real deal died. With Reishin busy trying to destroy the holy stone, Raiga attacks him. Kuraki pops up and shows his true traitorous face that he does not agree with Reishin’s Mototsumitama-only world. So from what I understand is happening now, the events of this great outflow of Tera that is so concentrated in a place will eventually be drawn to the entity with the highest Tera. This will cause a split in the time-space continuum and create a wormhole. So to close this wormhole, the one with the highest Tera can only seal it. That’s you, Reishin. Reishin claims that even if this is successful, Kuraki’s ideals won’t come true. He then gets sucked in and a great shockwave envelops the world. In the aftermath, the president of Kaionji Group who is also Yuki’s father wants to thank Kuraki for his support in making his company successful. He will appoint him as the group’s vice president.

Episode 13
It has been 6 months since that incident. With Reishin missing, Kuro is now wandering aimlessly since she has no goal. Kuraki is doing well as Kaionji Group’s vice. His Master Root plan is also taking off very nicely. Because with the majority of Master Roots in Japan, the country is prospering thanks to all the luck. There is minor trouble is Noble One plans on ambushing them. However Kuraki has taken care of it. Suddenly Noble One is to back down and return to Europe. HQ orders. Turns out the big boss of Noble One is now working with Kaionji Group. All for the sake of the future, right? Kuraki then goes to see Akane who seems to be ‘in captive’ and is also in the dark about Keita’s whereabouts. He still won’t allow her to leave the place. With many Noble One members returning to Europe, some of them like Bernhard and Jean remain because they believe in carrying out Steiner’s will. It seems Keita is in a comatose state ever since and is lying in a secret place. Kuro still feeling guilty for forming a contract with him?! Oh man, after all that’s been done, you’re regretting it now?! Anyway, this place is discovered by some of the Master Roots working under Kaionji Group. They are here to take Keita. So we see them fight but thanks to some upgraded Thousand device, they have a hard time breaking through. As usual, Kuro gets a beating and is about to lose when she hears Keita’s voice to fight. She can’t in fear it will use up his Tera. Don’t worry. JUST FIGHT! And with that, they Synchro and she beats down their ass. Oh, Keita is also up. About time. Seeing this, their comrades get a timely morale booster as they too go on the offensive to shatter the enemy’s defence. Now everybody can rejoice that Keita has finally awakened. What took you so long?

Episode 14
Yuki’s father announces to his siblings that he will not only appoint Kuraki as vice but also let him marry Yuki. Of course this does not sit well with them. And Yuki herself doesn’t like this arrangement since she is actually in love with Reishin. Her plan to initially use Kuraki backfired and instead he is now using her. Her big sister calls and wants to help her out since the siblings don’t want the company to fall into the hands of the outsider. But when she goes meet them, to her surprise it is Kuraki who turns up. Either her siblings got bought out or betrayed her since Kuraki mentions he talked to them and they agreed to whatever terms he proposed. Yuki tries to oppose but Kuraki maintains the point that she is useless and cannot do anything but rely on others. It is revealed that she is just a Sub and dares her to choose her own ending. Keita is adamant to go rescue Akane even it looks like a suicide mission. That will hardly be it as Bernhard lets the gang know about Kaionji Group’s inauguration party for Kuraki. At the party, Kuraki makes his grand speech about his plans for Master Roots. Yuki has fallen into depression as she contemplates on suicide. But then the party is interrupted by Keita and Kuro. They claim Kuraki has deceived and lied to everyone and sacrificed a lot of Subs just for this. Even if it is for a better fate, Keita will not accept and hence vows to destroy fate. That gave Yuki an idea… The party is thrown into chaos as Noble One fight among each other (as they are hired as security for the party). Lapdogs versus traitors. Yeah, it’s getting messy. Kuraki lets Raiga handle Keita and Kuro while he goes to Akane. Kuro once again feels reluctant to use too much power in fear in draining Keita’s power. But don’t worry. Bernhard and Jean are here to take over so they can do what’s important. Meanwhile Yuki confronts Akane in her room. It is revealed Akane is the actual Root and Kuraki lied to her about her being a Sub to be used as his trump card and insurance to gain foothold in the company. Yuki plans to become a Minus Root and kill Akane. So this is what destroying fate means? Hope it doesn’t backfire on Keita…

Episode 15
Akane starts crying and blames herself?! If only she didn’t exist?! Is she trying reverse psychology?! I don’t think Akane is that kind of person but Yuki remains sceptical. However this makes Yuki also unable to kill her. Enough time for Kuraki to come by and slap his woman. He calls her stupid for meeting her clone and now she’s going to die anyway. Before he can shoot her, Akane comes to protect her. But why? Because they’re alike. At least I understand both of them being used and deceived by Kuraki. Keita and Kuro stumble into Yakumo getting beaten up by Shinra. He is one of Reishin’s followers. He contracted with Master Root Mayu so I guess he has some awesome Tera power. This means Keita wants Kuro to go all out with their Synchro. However Kuro loses power. Yakumo explains that perhaps because Kuro unconsciously doesn’t want to use up his power to kill him, hence she involuntarily rejected his Tera. Yakumo takes over fighting but he is still no match. Keita then uses his Tera to aim around the ceiling. Yeah, the whole slab came crashing down! Plus, how convenient Akane and Yuki were a few floors on top at that exact spot! Thank goodness they survive their fall! Yuki will explain later and for now she wants them to escape in her helicopter before Kuraki’s reinforcements come. However with Raiga coming into the scene, Keita has Yuki only take Akane away while the rest stay back to buy time for their escape. Poor Akane. Just when she got reunited with Keita, now they’re separated again. While flying, the helicopter then loses control and crashes into the sea. Oh well, I can only think it’s Yuki’s fate. Yeah, she’s just sitting there sinking to the bottom, like as though she doesn’t give a f*ck about living anymore. This is it… As Keita and get ready to face Kuraki’s side, Kuraki brings out a trump card: Isn’t that Keita’s clone?! Damn, Keita the man in the iron mask?!

Episode 16
Kuraki wants Keita to kill his clone which is the Root. Do it and he’ll become a Minus Root and live. But Keita refuses to do it. He will not kill someone else for his own survival. It’s not about winning. It’s about principles! Yeah. Principle > fate. He tells Kuro to go all out on their Synchro. We’re going to beat the crap out of them. But first, they have to fight Shinra. This guy still lives? Oh yeah. It’s to showcase how powerful Keita-Kuro pair is. They defeat the guy but it takes a toll on Keita. All part of Kuraki’s plan to wear him down. Because now it’s Raiga’s turn to beat him up. Kuro is no match and more so, Keita’s Tera is being slowly absorbed by his Root. Until it reaches the limit. Then it’s over. Oh damn, Keita dead?! Say it isn’t so! Kuro so sad when suddenly Keita springs back to life! What gives?! They both have double crests on their hands now. It seems Kuro’s Tera is cycling through him. Can such a miracle happen!? Yes. It’s called plot convenience! Now Kuro is so powerful and even breaks down Raiga’s Exceed. In the end, Raiga is defeated and dies. So why can’t Kuraki cycle his Tera through him? I guess their bond isn’t that good, huh? Now Kuraki rants about all he wanted was Keita to support him in managing fate since he was the ideal person to do so. He never intended to kill him in the first place. So why?! Keita sympathizes with Kuraki fighting fate all alone. Keita was the same but he has changed as he has others by his side. So screw fate. We’re not redoing this again. Keita is going to destroy this Doppeliner system. Once everyone finishes up their fights, a report comes in about Yuki’s helicopter crash. Yuki’s body has been found at the bottom of the ocean floor but Akane remains missing. Suddenly everyone drops dead. Everyone around the world too! OMG! Is it because the holy land suddenly pops up?! Holy stones everywhere destroyed. Look who’s back? It’s Reishin. He looks even darker.

Episode 17
Only those contracted to Mototsumitama are still alive. They head to the holy land and stumble into an unfamiliar Mototsumitama named Nam. She claims she is from a tribe that records all of history and is here to do the same. Because the holy stones of the world are destroyed, Tera all over are being absorbed into this great holy stone in this holy land. Such amassed power will eventually become a weapon to destroy the world. This is the truth about the whole world. According to records, there were 3 types of beings: Humans, Mototsumitama and Masagami. They maintain the harmony and balance of the world until Masagami tried to force to other 2 to work the lands on Earth. After that completion, Masagami wanted to kill all humans. Mototsumitama was against it since they coexisted with humans. So both formed a pact to fight against Masagami. After a long fight, Masagami was defeated and sealed. Because of their vast power, they were sealed in many holy stones in addition to the great holy stone. But before their sealing, Masagami placed a curse on the humans: The Doppeliner system. Yes, it is a system to torment the humans. The Mototsumitama who were tasked to maintain the balance of Tera, this is only so because when the number of Master Roots increase, this would lead to greater saturation of Tera and hence leading of the revival of Masagami’s power sealed inside the great holy stone. Conversation interrupted because here is Aragi and Sora from a different Mototsumitama tribe claiming he will be getting all that power for himself. I suppose this is your fight scene for this episode. Because of their gravitation Exceed, it limits Kuro and Keita’s movements. But then I didn’t know Keita can’t shoot beams!!! This destroys Sora’s Thousand and enables Kuro to beat down Aragi. Aragi thinks Kuro and Reishin want to take the power of Masagami all for themselves. Speaking of Reishin, he fights and kills all of Noble One. The only survivor is Jean. Then Excel pops up claiming Reishin must have exerted a lot of power to kill her comrades so it’s the best time to take him down once and for all. So if you’re wondering where has Excel been for the past few episodes, looks like she made a new contract with Mikami.

Episode 18
Flashback shows how Excel formed a contract with Mikami to seek revenge on Steiner. Kuro and Keita run into a plant controlling Mototsumitama, Tenma and Kohaku. So I guess this is their fight for this episode. Because of the trees and plants hiding them, they cannot trace the whereabouts of the enemies so easy and Kuro as usual takes a beating. It is only with Punipuni’s aid of sniffing the enemies out that Kuro has a chance in taking them down. However the island shakes a little and this distraction allows Tenma to attack Kuro. The little earthquake means Reishin has reached the top and the great holy stone has reacted to him. However I am not sure how that killed Tenma! Bloodied Mototsumitama… The second half sees a fight between Reishin and Excel-Mikami pair. It seems Excel is prepared to die in this fight so long as she gets to kill Reishin. Mikami knows this already because she too had someone precious who died. Hence she will also fight to the death. Mikami goes all out in taking down Reishin as Excel provides all the Tera she can. But then we won’t get to see how the fight ends because by the time Kuro and Keita arrives, looks like Mikami is beaten up and by death’s door. Excel rues another failure and didn’t take into account this possibility that Reishin has gotten stronger because he has contracted with someone. But we won’t have to wait next episode to find out because that person he is contracted to… AKANE!!!

Episode 19
Keita blames Reishin and thinks he has brainwashed her. Enough talking. Let the fists do the talking. And here we go. Lots of punching and more punching. Wow. Kuro actually defeated Reishin? If it’s too good to be true, probably it is. It’s still too early so Reishin revives thanks to Akane supplying him more Tera. Yeah, Reishin is shooting fireballs now! Finally Akane speaks and wants them to leave this land because they are not strong enough to acquire the power of Masagami. Keita still thinks Akane has been brainwashed but she claims she is doing this on her own will. It dawned to Keita that Akane was the real target and Yuki was just only a distraction since Akane has way more Tera power than expected. So Keita and Kuro are going to add to their mission list of saving Akane in addition to destroying this cursed Doppeliner system. They think defeating Reishin will bring her back to her senses. Both sides claim there are strong enough to defeat the other. Well, someone’s got to give. More power punching and the winner of this punch fest is… Reishin! There’s your answer. Oh damn, Kuro blown away. Because of their shared Tera and lives, this means if either one dies, the other also dies. Don’t worry about Kuro and Keita dying yet, though. They just fainted, right?

Episode 20
Excel and Mikami still alive? Oh, so they can see Akane with Reishin and be shocked? Nam watches Reishin uses all his power to break the great holy stone. Malicious spirits start flying out attacking them. It isn’t the Masagami but the embodiment of all the hatred and negative emotions. While Yakumo fights his part to keep those spirits at bay, Nam takes unconscious Keita and Kuro away. She heals them but only Keita wakes up. Reishin continues to fight all the spirits. He is hoping that he would face the Masagami, the reason he came all the way here. Flashback on the truth. When mother was still alive, she spotted the crest on Kuro’s hand. Then she tells Reishin that no doubt the elders will kill Kuro because that crest is proof that she is the embodiment of Masagami. The only hope as she saw in her dream was a human (Akane) who will possess the greatest Tera once she becomes the Master Root, enabling them to fight against the Masagami. But the elders want to prevent this fight and hence the killing of Kuro. Reishin tries to talk to the elders that he will go defeat the Masagami but they don’t believe him. Both camps start to fight each other and hence this bloody massacre was mistaken as Reishin’s doing. A way to release the Mototsumitama from their cursed fate (when Mototsumitama defeated the Masagami, they were placed with a curse that a Masagami shall be reincarnated among them once every century), the great holy stone must drink the blood of the greatest Mototsumitama priestess to break the seal on the land. This is why Reishin killed his mother then build up the Tera by producing Master Roots to create a wormhole so he could destroy all the holy stones from the source they shared. After that, he saved Akane from drowning and formed a contract with her. All to awaken the Masagami and defeat it. Reishin has defeated enough spirits to summon the Masagami. A couple of Kuro clones? Not surprisingly, Kuro wakes up and now knows everything. She is a Masagami who placed the curse on humans and realizes Reishin was trying to save her all this time.

Episode 21
Now comes the epic power battle between Reishin and the Masagami duo. With the duo’s extreme powers, one second the land is frozen and the next everything is burnt down. Reishin puts up a good fight and manages to use lots of Tera to extinguish them. However due to the system, they are on track for resurrection. And fast. Reishin plans to destroy them before they can become whole again but it couldn’t be a worse possible timing because Kuro has awakened as a Masagami. She attacks Reishin, disrupting his flow and giving enough time for her Masagami counterparts to regenerate. Reishin takes a beating from the terrible trio. Once he is down, they try to combine themselves into one and rule the entire world. Better stop this quick because Kuro will cease to be Kuro forever. So Keita thinks he can shout out to her? Yeah. Like that will work. At least Yakumo, Riona, Excel and Mikami jump in to fight the Masagami despite it all seems like a suicide attempt. They didn’t last long. Keita tries again. Talking about the bond and time he spent with Kuro, he finally manages to wake her back up again. She’s not a Masagami. But a Mototsumitama named Kuro. Well, that was easy. Yeah, everything so easy with a contract. With Kuro back, she Synchro with Keita to take on the Masagami. The Masagami try to get rid of Keita who is Kuro’s power source but Reishin protects him. With the saturated Tera, he uses his ultimate Exceed to destroy their regeneration process (but not destroy them entirely). However it comes at the cost of his life.

Episode 22
Reishin’s death in vain because Masagami fused their Tera to avoid death! Yeah, they’re hideous. Eventually the form they’ve taken looks like Gill from Street Fighter! Kuro fights them and Masagami is trying to force and fuse Kuro with them to become one. But with Akane and Keita using their Thousand to Synchro, she channels all her Tera to Kuro to fight back. Damn, the holy land split in half! Eventually Kuro wins this short power battle and returns her excess Tera to the land. In the aftermath, everyone returns to their lives, like as though none of this happened. Is Keita’s place a new spot for everyone to crash? Nam is staying here because she claims she has more to record. I hope she isn’t ‘observing’ what will happen next between Keita and Kuro. Everyone except Excel and Mikami. They’re going back to Germany. When Keita saves a girl from being run over by a truck, Nam realizes the Masagami’s curse isn’t broken. THIS DEDUCTION FROM JUST A SINGLE OBSERVATION?! It is because Kuro is still alive and as we all know, she is a Masagami and hence the system is still functional. Hence thoughts of Kuro dying may eliminate the system but if she dies, Keita too will. So lots of gloominess as Keita and Kuro ponder and do things together. It’s like their last rites together, huh? Until one day Kuro decides she’ll just go away. She might leave with a smile but we know deep inside it hurts like hell. Proof as we see her crying her heart out somewhere alone. And it took Yakumo a while because he now decides to follow Kuro and protect her.

Episode 23
Akane getting married! Before we find out who, the rest of the episode feels like one long boring summary… Yeah… However they don’t just used recycled animations because they add a few more scenes to go with it. So there’s your watchable value. The first half is basically about Kuro from the moment she stumbled into Keita and to the time she formed a contract with him. Basically a very condensed first few episodes. The second half is from Akane as she narrates her relationship with Keita and the mess all this fate thingy came into play, hence her decision to get involved and put a stop to this. Basically from the moment Keita fell into coma till he wakes up and her pact with Reishin. We also hear Kuraki crediting Keita in destroying the cursed system. However he hints there are also many other systems at work and everyone will continue to be tested till they die! Damn, I wonder how many other gods there are! And finally the person whom Akane is getting married to… Keita! No surprises for this one. Now we see Kuro back in the holy land. She has been sealing herself there ever since. Strangely, she feels a Synchro from Keita, the first time this happens since her sealing. It seems Keita is now a grandpa and thanks Kuro. She shall be freed from the contract. And with that, Keita dies! Kuro thanks him. RIP, Keita. Damn, it will be horrifying when his grandkids discover grandpa just died in his chair!

Excel and Mikami fans who feel they didn’t get enough screen time can rejoice with this episode. Hopefully. Taking place at a time when Excel just hired Mikami and is brought back to the latter’s house, Excel’s flashback shows that she lived hundreds of years ago in some nice European mountains whatever. But one day her little brother died along with many others massacred, her village razed to the ground. Depressed, that was when Steiner appeared before her and gave her the option of erasing her memories and continue to live as a human or form a contract with him for revenge. He told her about bad Mototsumitama and apologized for his lack of power that failed to protect her. Excel agreed to form a pact with him as it would give him that power to protect. While Excel mocks Mikami’s contract with a Sub, Mikami also mocks back about her contract with Steiner and the oddity of not contracting with somebody else from Noble One if she so desired revenge. So while cooling her head and thinking whether she should form a pact with Mikami, more flashbacks with Steiner. That guy literally trained her and took her for missions. They were a pair. Then he gave her something to commemorate their 100th anniversary together. Is this a wedding ring?! I don’t know, I can’t tell… Too much thoughts of Steiner has her passed out. When she comes to, the place is under sieged by Tribal End. Not sure why they had a bone to pick with Mikami but they beat her up. Only when Excel starts flowing her Tera, it is easy fightback for Mikami. No contest at all. They’re just bullies. But the thanks Mikami gets is a slap from Excel? Apparently she entered the contract officially while she was out. Mikami had no choice. Excel’s aging signs were showing and if she delayed, she could’ve died. Excel still has lingering feelings of Steiner but Mikami says that it’ll all eventually fade. Compared to your prideful oujo-sama-esque, Mikami lost more, right? Yeah, her house is burnt down… No worries. They’ll stay at the hotel. Excel’s footing the bill, right? Uh huh. A small price to pay for revenge. Which we all already know will eventually fail… Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Fate Slay/Fight! Bad Things Come In Threes
It was a weird end to the series but better than nothing. At least they didn’t try to make cheap out of things like finding some sort of loophole of excuse to break the special contract between Keita and Kuro. They’ll only be released when one of them dies and so it stayed true to that. Even it seems dreadful that Keita has died, but you have to take into account that he has lived a very fulfilling and happy life until he dies of old age. So I believe that’s the best happy ending that they could’ve done for this series. Just can’t believe they wasted an episode so as not to make it feel so rushed. Imagine right at the end of the penultimate episode we had this time skip and all, I’m sure all of us will be shocked to suddenly see this ending. Hence I can’t complain too much since this ending is quite satisfactory.

The overall story is simple and not very complicated. Most probably they want to focus on the fighting but more on that later. So it becomes from a plot to uncover the truth behind the Doppeliner system to one to just destroy that cursed system altogether. Pretty straightforward. So it’s like one big long drawn out mission for the obvious. While it might look like typical cliché fairytale ending for the Masagami to be finally defeated shortly after their revival, but remember, Kuro is technically Masagami origin so it takes one to take down your own kind. Ex-Masagami who is now a Mototsumitama contracted to a human, she’s got it all covered! No wonder she is the Black God. Sort of.

Though, it feels like one big farce about the Doppeliner system before the knowing its actual truth. I mean, a life force so great that it had to be split into 3 different lives in which the one with the lesser luck will meet their doom and pass their luck to the main one? Feels like one big BS that makes you wonder if God is actually doing His job. Ironically there aren’t any lives that is so great that it could be split into 4 or 5 or even more lives, hence you could meet about 10 different clones of yourself! Thank goodness no such plot twist. It would’ve been really weird to see a fourth doppelganger just for the sake of the twist. And I also kept wondering why the doppelgangers are also within the vicinity. Make it easier to meet and initiate death? Why can’t one be born in the far flung reaches of the Amazon in Brazil? And the other somewhere on a deserted island in the Indian Ocean? See what I want to say here? But of course we now know the actual truth behind the Doppeliner system so all these ponderings are now deemed invalid.

Since it is hinted that there are other systems at work, I can’t help wonder if there are other gods or supernatural beings toying with humans at the moment. But that will be another story for another main character to explore. Hence this is somewhat a ‘reason’ why the fate of humans aren’t necessarily changed overnight. The same ol’ mundane human lives will continue and the same ol’ humans will die once they reach their expiry date. Assuming there’s a system that makes human die, does this mean destroying it, humans will become immortal? Well, don’t want to distract myself away too much from this series by overthinking.

As you can see, fighting plays a major part of the series. While I won’t say that the action sequences are a masterpiece, but they are quite satisfactory if you’re an action junkie. There are some nice choreographed moves although after a while, it might get a little boring and repetitive because let’s face it, how many variations does Kuro have? After a few punches, she unleashes her Exceed trump card, which is a more powerful variation of her normal punches. That’s why they had to put in all the flashiness to make it look so epic. I have to admit it isn’t disappointing, though. So yeah, in every episode you are guaranteed to see at least some kind of fight whether it is with the small fries or a boss fight. Either way, it’s the staple of the series.

Character wise, nothing really special. Keita your ordinary kid who gets involved in the supernatural and becomes extraordinary. He is the guy who destroyed the Doppeliner system but nobody will remember him for it. I wonder what happened to his doppelganger after he ran off during the chaos. Kuro started off as a bit annoying because she is a bit ditzy and like a retard. Like as though they want to make her a funny character… They initially make a running joke about her bottomless stomach because I guess they need to give her some sort of character before the real truth about her is revealed. I have to admit that I wasn’t really that impressed with Keita and Kuro’s relationship and sometimes it feels forced because of plot convenience. Like when Keita died but then something compels them to share and recycle their life force so that they could continue living. In a way, a dramatic effect to tell us they have been reborn and power up. I don’t know if Kuro sealing herself away from the world is the answer to break the Masagami’s curse. If that actually worked, should have done that right from the start. But yeah, that was before she knew she was a reincarnation of the Masagami, right?

Akane remains largely redundant until the final arc when the whole big truth about her is revealed. She wasn’t featured much in the first half and probably her lack of any role is just a distraction so that they could pull off this twist later on as the series reaches its climax. At least she gets to enjoy a rare feat that many childhood friends never get to enjoy: Marry her crush. Oh right. She is the Master Root and is truly blessed, so that’s a given. Reishin playing your typical villain role who isn’t actually the villain. Big brotherly love compels him to work like that because who would believe him, right? If you want to get the job done, better do it yourself.

A few redundant characters include Yakumo and Riona. I feel like this pair is just to give us a slight variation in addition to Keita and Kuro. They aren’t as significant as they want us to think when they show their scenes to us and though they have some bond with each other, it’s pretty much forgettable. Just like some of the other Mototsumitama and Master Roots. They just pop up for a while just to provide some fight and once that is over, you’ll never hear of them again. Same case for Excel and Steiner and the rest of Noble One. Why do they even exist? Sure, Excel gave Keita the convenient Thousand but that’s pretty much about it. Should’ve just killed Excel off with Steiner because her revenge against Reishin was just pretty much redundant. Too bad they leave it late to showcase how close Excel and Steiner are abut it means nothing when the series is over. Besides, wasn’t Excel always on her weird handheld device playing some weird game? Not so attached to that once Steiner is gone, huh? Nam. What recorder of history again? Punipuni. Like we need a cute animal mascot for this series. I don’t even know how Kuro picked it up and they become like mini companions. I thought Kuraki would become the antagonist for the second half considering the way things are going for him. But his role quickly ended after his sham marriage and that’s that for him. His whole life trying to understand the Doppeliner system and once we know what it really is, there isn’t much of a role for him to play after that.

Masagami as the source of all the madness, they seem to be pretty powerful for beings that are sealed. Noticed how they managed to place the curse on both humans and Mototsumitama before getting sealed? I mean, wow, it is just mind blowing that they can cause this much havoc and cause so much misery during their absence. How can their curse be in effect when they are sealed? Just mind blowing. It’s ironic they didn’t do the same when they get defeated this time. Maybe they did. They just didn’t tell us!

Art and animation are pretty okay. Reeks last decade anime animation style. Nothing that I can complain. Even if there was, I somehow just find Akane to look pretty weird. Maybe it is just me. Because like some of the female characters like Excel and Nam, they have this one kind look. Like dolls… Maybe it’s some sort of trademark but the male characters look pretty generic. Without the garb, I don’t think I can tell the difference between Keita and Yakumo. This anime is done by Sunrise who did many of our favourite hits like Code Geass, Gintama, Cowboy Bebop, Inu Yasha, Accel World, Love Live and Mobile Suit Gundam.

Voice acting is also okay. Seeing this anime came out in the last decade, you bet there are a handful of veteran seiyuus that I can recognize such as Sayaka Ohara as Akane, Yukari Tamura as Excel, Jouji Nakata as Steiner, Satoshi Hino as Kuraki, Shizuka Itou as Riona, Eri Kitamura as Kakuma and Yuko Kaida as Mikami. Other casts include Daisuke Namikawa as Keita (Waver in Fate series), Noriko Shitaya as Kuro (Sakura in Fate series), Katsuyuki Konishi as Reishin (Laxus in Fairy Tail), Hirofumi Nojima as Yakumo (Kitamura in Toradora), Satsuki Yukino as Yuki (Otae in Gintama), Kenji Hamada as Hiyou (Jouji in Paradise Kiss), Eiji Miyashita as Raiga (Takahiro in Princess Princess) and Eri Sendai as Makana (Touka in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai). Oh, even Punipuni has a dedicated seiyuu? Yumi Touma (Yui in Fushigi Yuugi). Easiest voice acting role ever for this series?

Minami Kuribayashi sings Sympathizer, the first opening. The fast paced of this rock music fits the theme of this series like a glove. Although I am not into this song very much, I wished they didn’t change it to Trance by Granrodeo for the second half. Too much of heavy metal punk rock outfit that I feel the more it plays out, the more adrenaline gets pumped in and eventually the whole thing will explode! Just exaggerating but I didn’t like this one even more than the first. Yousei Teikoku sings both the ending themes and they are both slow ballads (generally they both sound the same to me in all of honesty). Though, I still prefer the first ending theme, Irodori No Nai Sekai compared to the second one, Gekkou No Chigiri.

Overall, this isn’t actually a bad series. It doesn’t have the best story in the world and the characters are generally bland so you’ll just have to put up with the action scenes that are probably its main selling point. Other than that, there’s nothing much else I can say. And watching the entire series and writing this final paragraph at this point, I just realized there was really nothing Korean in this anime unlike it was so obvious in The God Of High School. Everything so Japanese! And I also fail to understand why Koreans are obsessed with putting God in their titles. Like I said, maybe just coincidence. But who knows? Maybe I have a Japanese or Korean doppelganger who would well understand it all. What luck I have.

Oh well. In anticipation of the second season, at first I thought of watching the rest of Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken OVAs together with the sequel. However when I read that it was going to be split cour and that means taking longer to finish watching (hey, is it wrong for me to binge watch certain series?) and I don’t want to pile up my busy anime schedule considering how the anime is back at full force, leaving the Corona virus in the dust like as though it never happened, I suppose it is good to take some off that ‘heavy load’. Oh yeah. It’s going to be a busy year ahead…

Taking place after his students receive their superior spirits, they return to Freedom Academy and his students don’t hesitate to use him as a volleyball! Meanwhile in the town of Guratol, the count laments failing to bring a healing potion for his ailing wife, Ulamuth. However it is so because bandits robbed their caravan. But now he has to oversee the upcoming training excursion from Freedom Academy and has his servant, Gesdar to inspect the caves. Rimuru wants to take things easy and sit out from this training excursion since his S Class students aren’t required. But when his professor colleague, Jeff mocks about his students having no proper equipment, Rimuru’s teacher pride won’t take it so you bet he is going to join in. Tiss explains this training excursion that will be divided into 2 parts. Firstly, the students must travel from the academy to Guratol without the teacher’s help. They will be graded by their survival skills. The last part has them entering the caves on a fetch quest. The winning class will earn the teacher 10 gold coins as bonus. Rimuru returns to tell his students about this and they’re raring to go. He listens to what kind of weapon they want. Then he leaves them to read a thick manual on how to survive in the wild. So he is ditching his duty as a teacher? Well, he as to return to his village to get his followers (all hailing the great mighty Rimuru-sama back) to make them as well as prepare a carriage. Piece of cake. His students are amazed with the weapons they get and are further impressed with the carriage. Damn, looks like a modern camping caravan fit for camping! But then… When Rimuru realizes that Ranga has to pull it and that the rules state teachers cannot help, dang he realizes he didn’t thought of that!!! Oh no! But don’t worry. Gale summons an earth spirit to help pull the carriage. Phew. That should do. Meanwhile in the caves, the bandits are waiting for the students because it is their plan to kidnap them for ransom. They are confident with this super potion that grows anything back and enslavement collar, it’ll be a piece of cake. All this is possible only because Gesdar is their accomplice!

To avoid favouritism, the teacher will be watching and judging other class. Like Rimuru will travel with Jeff’s students while Tiss will journey with Rimuru’s students. Before the mission starts, Jeff looks downtrodden as he tells Rimuru to tell his students to be careful about the bedridden Ulamuth. We see Rimuru watch Jeff’s students take on monsters as he points out their strengths and weaknesses from his observations. It is no surprise that the S Class kids arrive first and a day earlier. The count didn’t count (pun not intended) on this and needs time to prepare their rooms. He suggests they go take a look at the caves first and seek Gesdar to guide them. On their way, Tiss tells them that Ulamuth is actually Jeff’s younger sister and that’s why he works as a teacher despite being a noble. With the kids worried about the monsters in the caves, Tiss accidentally spills the beans there are actually none and those low level ones are summoned by the teachers just to test them. Oops. Nobody has any brainwashing spell here. As they enter the caves looking for Gesdar, they stumble into the bandits. Of course the kids are wise enough to know something is fishy and prepare to fight. The bandits also don’t take them lightly and go all out to take them down. But of course the S Class kids are way better as they take down the bandits. Tiss must be in shock to see them so good. Hope they get extra points for this. Even when the bandit boss plays dirty by using the potion to regenerate his cut off arm, Kenya expected this and knocks him out soon after. When Gesdar enters the scene, the kids realize he is not a real person. In fact it is a spectre masquerading as a human. Amused by their intuition, he then transforms into his true form to fight them.

The spectre brags about himself despite being some low level phantom commander thingy. Whatever. The cowardly bandits escape while the brave kids are left to deal with this. Of course they put up a gallant fight but soon the spectre quickly knocks them all out. Tiss is the only one left. She is given a choice. She will choose one of the students to be given this enslavement collar in exchange for her life. The rest will die. Of course this is just a ploy to see her hypocrisy as the spectre will kill them all. Surprise but no surprise, Tiss refuses. She abandoned those kids once and since they put their life on the line to protect her, she vows to protect them. The spectre decides to kill her when time stops. Diablo heard her wish to save those kids so just in the nick of time, he can do all that in exchange for a price if she enters a contract with him. Okay. With that, Diablo easily beats up this spectre, pulls out Gesdar from within and then tortures the motherf*cker before killing him off. Brutal. Now he wants his payment from Tiss: Keep his existence a secret or he will consume her soul. That’s just it. His interest is only repaying his debt to Shizu and this contract thingy is his perfect chance. As to explain this situation, just claim that a light spirit belonging to Kenya helped them. After Diablo disappears, the kids are returned to the manor with no incident. Now everything is focus on Ulamuth’s health since it is noted the potion was used. I guess it’s cue for Rimuru’s greatness. Hearing about it, I’m sure Rimuru would have the right potion to cure it but as the count notes, it sometimes doesn’t work and might cause death. With not enough info, Rimuru consults Sage about it. After some thinking, he gives the count the potions but on one condition: He will conduct the surgery. Jeff so anxious that the kids have to calm him down and tell him to believe in Rimuru. Yeah… In the aftermath, we see Ulamuth recovering. Oh yeah. Expected miracle. But as Sage concludes her analysis, some honey would’ve been enough to cure her illness. Now you know the importance of medical science? With Jeff bowing his head and thanking him earnestly, this throws Rimuru off guard. Due to this incident, the training results are nullified and Rimuru might be feeling a bit sore because no bonus coins. But no time to waste as the planning for the cultural festival is on the cards. And once again, Rimuru and Jeff return to their b*tch rivalry mode. Tiss’ advice to the kids: Don’t grow up to be adults like them. Yeah. Bad role models…

GTR: Great Teacher Rimuru; Boku No Slime Academia…
So I guess the remaining OVAs were rather okay, like a short mini filler series. Nothing really great because we’ve already seen how great this slime guy in the first season so with only a few episodes here, there wasn’t enough time or story to see him pull off any greater miracles. Even if I should say that surgery on Ulamuth feels a bit unwanted. I mean, they need to showcase Rimuru doing something and live up to his (and our) expectations as an overpowered main character who can do almost anything.

But these 3 OVAs here focus more on the S Class students of Freedom Academy. It is a reason why I feel that Rimuru didn’t have so much of an impact especially the middle episode that emphasis greatly on those kids. And I think we got trolled when the title for these 3 OVAs went along the lines of ‘Rimuru’s Glamorous Life As A Teacher’. Well, if your students get to strut their stuffs, it means the teacher has done his job. It proves that Rimuru’s teachings were honoured, the way they manage to fend and protect themselves. I mean, it could have been very clichéd when the students were taken out by the spectre, they could have ushered in Rimuru who would then do his overpowered miracle to apprehend the antagonist. But I suppose this is to build another story and it’s a good thing it didn’t happen that way or else it would’ve rendered the kids’ efforts futile if Rimuru ever needs to come to their rescue. Though, technically it was still somebody else who saved them. Hey, give them a break. They’re just kids and they’ve done well to prove themselves. My only grouse is that the bandits were never captured. Not even mentioned in the aftermath. So I guess they’ll be back next time? Unless of course they learnt their lesson…

I have a couple conspiracy theories of why they put the S Class kids in focus. Either they will never be featured this prominently again in the second season or they would and these OVAs serve as precursor to join Rimuru’s diverse group, hence this is some sort of warm-up and introduction to more of their greatness in the sequel. But my bet is on the former because at the end of this mini arc, Rimuru says that he will soon be leaving Freedom Academy and returning to his usual life with his monster troopers who are of course greatly side-lined here. Who among us have missed cutie pie Shuna or those humongous boobs of secretary Shion or the cheeky semi-naked I-think-I-forgot-to-wear-my-pants-today Milim? Oh yeah. Do we? So I guess that means the S Class kids won’t get any decent screen time in the proper second season’s storyline. I think. Probably that’s why Tiss grows closer to them so with Rimuru’s absence, we can be assured that this weak kind teacher will take care of them. On a very trivial note, why does the count of Guratol remind me of Castlevania’s Dracula???!!! Unless you tell me all noble guys have this sort of look.

Overall, these OVAs feel a bit toned down and doesn’t spam in our faces the great powers of Rimuru. Which is good seeing that we don’t want to have already inflated expectations of what this slime master can actually do. Though, they still remind us so as to have us remember that at the back of our minds. This whole thing is just like side road trip with a little misadventure but nothing so disastrous that could affect everything else. Just a fun little trip and back. Hopefully the next season would get better with darker and interesting themes. I know I previously said I liked this series but I think that was before they started spamming the dreaded overpowered main character isekai theme in so many animes after that. Yeah, it’s starting to get tiring when I even think about it. Even in the event this series falls into that same pitfall of clichés, oh well, a slime’s got to do what a slime’s got to do. Rimuru being Rimuru himself is all that matters. It’s his reincarnated life anyway.

Oh. This had a sequel? Wait. I actually knew about it. I just forgot about it. It fooled me at first to think that Toji No Miko: Kizamishi Issen No Tomoshibi could be some spinoff side story that don’t really matter (read: mindless filler) because there are only 2 episodes here. How can merely 2 episodes be the sequel for the TV series? Are they taking us for a ride? Well, I better believe it. Since it takes place after the end of the events that happened in the TV series, technically by all means, it is still a sequel, right? Anyway, I wasn’t a big fan of the series so I don’t really remember much. It’s only 2 episodes, right? How much can I lose?!

We see Mihono and her group of Toji in Aradama slicing action. It has been 5 months since the Tagitsu disaster but the Aradama attacks have not slowed down. Back at the base, Miruya introduces a new temporary member to their squad: Hirona Nitta from Osafune. Not much of a talker and sounds sleepy. They notice her western-like rapier Okatana and as explained, it is actually forged in Japan using tamagahane so it is quite suitable to hunt Aradama. Meanwhile Kanami and Hiyori are out patrolling when they stumble into a humanoid Aradama. She looks pretty confused and scared but after a short spar, she escapes. Out of the frying pan and into the fire because now she stumbles into Mihono’s group. When they surround her, she starts crying! Damn, does this look like bullying? Mihono calms her down and she takes a liking for her. When the rest arrive, they are divided to either kill her or take her in. Despite she is not hostile, Miruya will report this to HQ and await their further instruction. While she is locked up in the containment room, the higher ups like Akane, Sana and Yukari contemplate on this special case. Based on what the Toji tell them, they hope this can lead to cohabitation between humans and Aradama and will continue to observe her. This is good news to Mihono and co since it isn’t a subjugation order. With that, they name her Kohime and they become like good friends and sisters, teaching her stuffs. Her room is like a mini kindergarten now, eh? Until one day Kohime asks what Toji do. Mihono tells her the truth but assures they only cut up bad Aradama who hurt others. While Mihono and co are away subjugating Aradama threat nearby, Hirona is babysitting Kohime and shows her the Toji in action. It seems Kohime is starting to react to the slaughtering of her brethren. Hirona gets ready her Okatana but thankfully nothing happens as Kohime returns to normal state. Although pretty depressed right now. When Kanami thinks Kofuki just wants to be friends with Aradama (since she always wants to ‘play’ with them), this has her remember her past. When she was young, she stumbled into a small Aradama in the backyard. She played with it a lot despite getting hurt. Aradama likes it rough? One day it grew up real big and innocent Kofuki still wanted to play with it. She almost got killed but other Toji arrived to subjugate it. Meanwhile Kohime continues to be dejected. Where’s the cute little smile gone to?

When Mihono just comes in to see Kohime, looks like the alert for another mission. Gotta go. Kohime feeling sad. Yeah, she learnt to read the Toji news. Even sadder… Subsequently, the doors suddenly all open. Hmm… No guards. What’s a curious little Aradama got to do but sneak out? So when the Toji are cutting down Aradama, Kohime intervenes and tries to protect one. This has some like Kofuki think that Kohime has turned to the dark side. Mihono pleads to Kofuki to listen but she is adamant to slice her down. A little clumsy fight ensues and Kohime eventually escapes. A search party is initiated but only Kofuki and Yui are part of it. Mihono is on standby but along with Kiyoka, they go search for Kohime on their own. Disobeying orders? Well, as Miruya puts it, they might have been excluded from the search party but there were no orders for them not to search. Sneaky… The duo look high and low but to no avail. Even with Chie posting some food for thought like Kohime really turning against them, they still want to go search for her. Soon, Mihono gets a call from Hirona that she has the location of Kohime. Yes, please send it to me, thank you! Just in time because Kohime is about to get attacked by the Aradama she saved! Too bad for that beast, got cut down, though. Now it’s time to hear the sad loli reason why she can’t stay with you because she realizes the cruel cycle of Toji and Aradama viewing each other as threat and hence they can’t coexist.

Mihono still believes in their friendship but looks like a test is coming up because Kofuki and Yui are here. They want to kill Kohime. Mihono steps in to protect Kohime. If she wants to kill Kohime, she must get through her first. At the same time, Yui fights with Kohime. However Kohime thinks she is making a fool out of her because she has so many instances to cut her down but did not. That’s because she doesn’t want to kill friends. Get what she is saying? Thankfully Kohime does. Now all that is left is to wait for Mihono and Kofuki to finish their friendly fight. In the end, Kofuki admits defeat. In the aftermath, Miruya reprimands all of them for disobeying orders. But they are still happy that Kohime only gets a light punishment. The next day, Kohime is been transferred to be further observed in a facility run by Yukari. Kanami and Hiyori will bring her there so Kohime says goodbye to Mihono and co. Only Hirona isn’t here since she has transferred to another squad. The gang give her a Smartphone so they can stay connected always. BFF. Mihono gives Kohime one big hug as the latter is glad to have met her since there is so much she wants to know about humans. Uhm… I hope she won’t go too far in learning the dark side of humans… But that’s another story. Meanwhile we see Hirona returning to her comrade. She claims she failed her mission but she dreads it when given another mission and since it is most likely about observing Kohime, she gleefully accepts.

Ara, Ara? Damasareta?
I don’t know if this is meant to have another sequel by the way it ends but as far as I am writing this, I haven’t heard of any. Anyway, from my point of view, this couple of OVA episodes don’t really bring much to the table especially to those casual viewers. Perhaps hardcore fans of the series may appreciate them but for the rest of us, just pretty meh and average. Firstly, this so called sequel focuses on the new bunch of characters that were introduced during that Mini Toji spinoff, focusing a bit more on Mihono and Kofuki. Since it is only a couple of episodes, there is nothing much to flesh out so it is both good and bad in that sense. I mean, it’s not fair to call this series a waste of time because there are only 2 episodes to begin with but because of those 2 episodes only, there is nothing much to go about. Get what I mean? Like the vicious cycle of Toji killing Aradama and in return Aradama hunt down Toji and the loop repeats. Heh. So yeah, nothing really much. Like as though it is a precursor to set the stage should there be another sequel in the future.

The only thing left to play up after that Tagitsu disaster is of course another humanoid Aradama. They look like the only ‘excuse’ and reason for many of the Toji counterparts to seek a path where there is coexistence. Yeah, this might lead to a civil war thingy but that’s another story and I don’t want to go too far ahead of myself. Just to tell us that not all Aradama are bad because those cute bishoujo and loli types are definitely having a higher chance of cohabitating with humans. Too bad, can’t say the rest of those beast types who can’t communicate and act on their primal instincts only. So with a cutie pie like Kohime (throw in some cute clumsy little trait as well), it makes it harder for us to really want to see her cut down. YOU WANT TO SEE A DEAD LOLI CUT IN HALF?! Ah yes, Aradama like Kohime are the thin line and flimsy reason why puny humans and the Toji should examine and study if such coexistence is remotely possible. Because as we can see, some aren’t too fond of the idea and this might lead to a civil war… Oh damn, I’m repeating myself, am I?

Personally, I feel a bit disappointed about Hirona as the new character. Sure, as I have said, a couple of episodes aren’t enough to flesh everything out. From what they have shown us, Hirona may just be playing dumb and it is hard to tell if she is a friend or foe. My guess is that she is the one who let Kohime free from her room because obviously why would she then tell Mihono and Kofuki separately about Kohime’s whereabouts if her intentions were not to see them clash and how they go on from there? In the end, her character feels redundant as the story of Mihono’s little friendship with Kohime could still play out if Hirona wasn’t in the picture at all.

Because of Hirona, I am remembered about my favourite character of the series: Kaoru! Oh damn, where is this favourite slacker of mine???!!! Because Hirona’s slacking ways somewhat reminds me of Kaoru although not as discernible. Is it a tradition for Osafune Toji to produce such slackers? Yeah, I missed those funny days where Sana would literally be a slave driver on Kaoru! Perhaps Kaoru really got and enjoyed her very much deserved break during the events of this OVA. Oh well Kaoru, you’ll be sorely missed! Heh. I guess this means that many other characters from the TV series such as Ellen, Sayaka and Mai did not make their appearance at all. Fans of them would be sorely disappointed but I can understand because like I said, with only 2 episodes, there is only so much you can put in and you don’t want to compound to the problem of redundancy by making these characters make their cameo just to satisfy squealing fans. Only Kanami and Hiyori get their cameo since they are the super main characters of the series. So got to show their face around even if they don’t really play any important role. So yeah, the sequel is just focused on the new bunch of characters. Make peace and let’s move forward.

Overall, this sequel just feels pretty average. There isn’t anything much to say. The story feels pretty typical because how far else could they go with the plot for this series? I mean, can Kohime grow into the next Tagitsu! Gasp! I hope I didn’t give the writers some weird ideas. Fighting scenes are also pretty average since there are just a few Aradama killing scenes as they want to focus on the drama friendship with the newly discovered Aradama loli. And that’s why the fight between Mihono and Kofuki feels forced because eventually they have to let their Okatana do the talking. So until they decide to do another real full season, I guess I’ll be slacking and lazing off like Kaoru sensei. Wherever she is right now.

Gundou Musashi

January 10, 2021

After my stint in one of the worst animes that I have seen in my life, Hametsu No Mars, I never would have thought it would lead me to another worse animes that would easily top the list of the worst animes ever produced in history. Yes, I’m talking about Gundou Musashi. You think anime can’t get worse? Wait till you watch this one. Yeah, so bad that it is good! And that curiosity is one reason why I decided to take a peek at this despite the lack of subs on this 2006 production. I mean, how bad can it get, right? RIGHT?! Oh believe me. You haven’t seen the bottom of the barrel yet. Get ready to be horrified, cringe and most importantly, laugh! Yes, seriously. LAUGH OUT LOUD! It’s the only way you can sit through 26 episodes of crappy crap of crappiness without your brain cells performing seppuku a million times and getting out with your sanity intact. Da na?

Episode 1
A guy challenges Musashi Miyamoto to a duel to avenge his brother. Here comes Musashi. Only, his sword is electrified! Get touched and you’re zapped! Furthermore, he has a pair of guns! Holy sh*t! But it shoots special bullets. Sleeping bullets! Yeah, don’t worry if he has to kill. Eventually Musashi wins and even asks his opponent if he wants to get shot in the head or stomach. You mean he actually chose the stomach?! In town, he is being begged by Danjou to come protect Princess Kaguya because something might attack the castle tonight. Despite his pleas, Musashi declines because his occupation is to take over castles, not protect them. Danjou reports this unfortunate news to Kaguya. She still wants him to get Musashi on their side because his powers are much needed. Ever since their won the battle at Sekigahara, the ghostly ayakashi has been invading their land. Could it be summoned by the losing side? Later Musashi sees fellow friend, Ronin. Looks like he plans to storm Osaka castle, the shogunate’s base tonight. That is because he wants to beat the ayakashi to it. That night, ayakashi pop up to kidnap Kaguya. Damn, discount Black Panthers?! Kaguya manages to dispose of them until Yasha pops up. Danjou comes to her rescue but can a sword cut through a ghost? Yasha kidnaps her and when he returns to his carriage, his guards are disposed of by Musashi and Ronin. They fight and I suppose their weapons are magically imbued, that’s why they can touch Yasha? Yasha is still much superior, though. But when he mocks them they are not up to par as Kojiro Sasaki, this makes Musashi mad because he hates that name. Musashi and Ronin power up to slice up Yasha who then escapes. The guys leave Kaguya behind because they know Danjou will come looking for her. There he is. When Kaguya comes to, she doesn’t remember much but has a feeling Musashi saved her. In town, Musashi is attacked by Desperado. She claims she is a sharp shooter but misses all her shots?! Damn, Musashi escapes! Ronin asks Musashi’s next plan and that is to invade the ayakashi’s castle. But first, he needs more training.

Episode 2
Musashi is at a temple in Kyoto to seek Master Takuan. As he is the first dude to master the Gundou technique, he wants to be his disciple. But the monks won’t let him see him and claim he is away. Musashi knows they are lying and challenges them to a fight. If he wins, they are to let him see Takuan. Meanwhile Yasha reports back to Ryougen of his failure to get Kaguya. So this fat ugly pig wants to marry Kaguya? He is not happy he lost to a guy who is weaker than Kojiro but Yasha claims in the future, Musashi will defeat him. Ryougen is also not impressed that according to Yasha’s predictions, he should’ve been the unifier and ruler of Japan. But look at this mess now. Yasha claims they are going to re-correct history again. Ryougen really wants him to do it because otherwise he sold his soul to become an ayakashi for nothing. We see Musashi easily defeating the monks’ instructor in this weird fight. He admits defeat but can’t let him see Takuan because he is truly not here. Suddenly dark clouds hover over the place. Uh oh. Ayakashi attack. Damn, this Jijouda ayakashi, he sounds like Dino-Riders’ Krulos!!! Or Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget! Ronin comes to help and so this ninja kid, Ninjatarou. Too bad he is more clumsy than helpful. This big fight between humans and ayakashi… Are they fighting or dancing???!!! Musashi fights Jijido and when they are seemingly going to crash into the temple’s ground sweeper, Musashi goes to protect him. However he borrows Musashi’s gun and fire a few pot shots at Jijido before killing him off with shots into his eyes! WTF?! Musashi realizes this dude is actually Takuan and begs him to be his master.

Episode 3
Desperado is looking for Musashi but stumbles into Yasha who claims he knows where Musashi is and will lead her to him. However she doesn’t trust the ayakashi and is going to test her special English ghost busting bullets on him. Yasha just zaps her and tells her to STFU and let him take her to Musashi! WTF?! Meanwhile Musashi is sulking because Takuan claims he isn’t Takuan but Shibazuke. Something about Kojiro also trained here but because both men fought and Takuan lost, the loser must leave the Gundou technique forever. Hence, Takuan has ‘never returned to the temple’ since. Reports of Desperado is here and it seems Takuan will go handle her. It is hinted he hates women because if not for a certain woman, he would’ve won against Kojiro. Desperado beats up the monks to call out for Musashi. She wants revenge for him killing her father. Despite Musashi claiming it wasn’t him, she never believed him and continued to chase him. With Takuan’s words not getting through, they fight but first, Takuan unleashing his secret Gundou dance?! Damn, this guy decided to forget his promise with Kojiro? Whatever. So it’s just him dodging Desperado’s bullets and knocking her out with the back of the gun?! HILARIOUS! But wait. An ayakashi pops out of Desperado. Seems it was controlling her. Then it reveals herself to be some spider ayakashi, Gandadan. But no specially made ayakashi weapons could harm her because of some legend that this spider woman was once from heaven before falling into the depths of hell. Gandadan then controls Desperado and makes her fire at Musashi. Uhm, shouldn’t Desperado be happy for this? Oh right. She wants to kill him by her own hands so I guess being controlled doesn’t count.

Episode 4
Musashi is reduced to running. So what now? Ronin suggests shooting her with his sleeping bullets. Great idea. But she isn’t stupid to get shot and dodges! Eventually when she gets hit and sleeps, it is even worse because now Gandadan can control Desperado easier! Thanks for this stupid idea. Didn’t think that one out, huh? I wonder if Desperado’s gun has unlimited bullets… What now? Takuan wishes if only a certain person is here. Oh, here he is! Leonardo Da Vinci and his pet monkey, Sasuke Sarutobi! He is willing to sell Musashi a special bullet for a price. That’s how he does business. Musashi agrees to pay a high price so Da Vinci gives him some fiery bullet. Musashi didn’t wait to listen to his explanation and fires it. Though Gandadan’s web gets burnt, the intense hit means his gun melts! What now?! Da Vinci tried to warn him and it seems only a special gun can only endure that bullet. And that gun called Gunki is with Takuan. WTF. Da Vinci had always urged Takuan to give it to him but was always refused. Because he has sealed it. So basically, Gunki is the most powerful gun in the world. It can go through metals and sent ayakashi back to hell. However those who possess it often lose themselves. They become monsters before killing themselves. Takuan could have wielded it if he was younger but now he can’t. Musashi wants it and believes he won’t become a demon. Answer is still no. My, kind Gandadan has allowed them to talk enough and reveal this Gunki thingy, yeah, she’s going to kill all of them now. Controlling the other monks to kill them, more pleading from Musashi until Takuan gives in. That was easy. So where is Gunki? It’s right here. Inside his fake arm! Damn. Musashi takes it and… Well, I don’t see anything happening to him in particular except he is shouting like an idiot. WTF???!!!

Episode 5
Musashi turns into a demon! Oh, that’s just illusionary. While in reality he is still screaming like an idiot, inside he is facing a demon with a gun. Yeah, demon shoots him many times and though the good thing is that he can’t die, he can feel the pain! Well, duh!!! As Gandadan has waited long enough, she wants to only now wrap Musashi in her web? Oh well, time for Da Vinci to get moving his next plan. He gives a new set of gun and bullets to Sasuke to take it to Musashi. Letting a monkey do a man’s job? Just in time before the web entirely covers him. Musashi continues to bear the torment of the bullets. And he won’t give in to become a demon! We’ll see about that. Finally the wildest scream ever. I guess it’s time to see whether he becomes a man or a demon. Yeah, so the web is all for a dramatic reveal as it burns down from inside, huh? Yeah, everyone friend and foe watching with baited breath on what will become of Musashi. And here he is! Hmm… Musashi points the gun at Ronin. Just trolling you! He fires it to break the monks free from the controlling web. Yasha is disappointed he didn’t turn into a demon and flees. Gandadan is mad and wants to fight him. I guess this means it’s her cue to die. Musashi vs Gandadan. Fight weird as f*ck but why are they fighting melee combat instead of him just firing the gun?! Is it to show he is superior?! He is the best Gunki in the world now?! Oh yeah. Time to finish her off as he fires one right into her. Screams of pain! Uhm, is she burning in fire or PISS???!!! WTF???!!! In the end, Takuan entrusts Gunki to Musashi but cautions him not to let it control him or he’ll turn into a demon.

From now on, it is unfamiliar territory as the rest of the episodes are not subbed. So I’m just winging it here with my very basic Japanese understanding. Here we go…

Episode 6
Hideaki Kobayakawa seems to be furious that he is locked in the dungeons against something he didn’t do. He is screaming about his credentials and for his release but you know, the guards don’t give a damn. This hot chick in the next cell, Yume tells him that Musashi and friends will come save him. How does she know? She saw it in her dream. It all started 6 months ago. Some flashback as we see Musashi, Ronin and Ninjatarou invade some castle to steal some treasure and even defeated some famed ninja, Goemon Ishikawa. Then the next dreams Yume narrates are just basically recaps of the first 5 episodes! Damn recycled scenes. From Musashi saving Kaguya to his persistent bugging for Takuan to fighting off Desperado who eventually got controlled by Gandadan and yeah, that Gunki ‘training’ mode of fighting the inner demon. So whatever questions Hideaki has, she has this convenient answer that she can’t say for now and only time will tell! Then somebody is here to get them. Too bad it’s not Musashi! It’s Yukimura Sanada (Yukimura is a woman?!). This has Hideaki perplexed because if Yukimura is here, whose castle is he being imprisoned right now? The castle of Mitsunari Ishida (the shogun he is supposed to be working under). But Yukimura is with orders to take Yume to Osaka castle. Yeah, Yume praying for Musashi to come save her quick.

Episode 7
Ryougen is sucking the life essence of young women to maintain his form. And to think he is still a fat ugly pig… Don’t worry, the women won’t die. They just get old and wrinkly. Yasha returns to report of Musashi’s powers he has witnessed. Then something they need to get before the next moon or something. And yeah of course, Kaguya must become Ryougen’s bride. It seems Musashi learns there is another Gunki. One that returns you to being human. However it is not hidden inside Takuan and he doesn’t know where it is. But Da Vinci does. Of course, flashback to tell how. Mitsuhide Akechi went berserk when he used the Gunki and betrayed and killed his fellow men. Da Vinci was also there and warned him about being influenced by the demon within. Mitsuhide doesn’t care and let it be so. He also mentions about the other Gunki that reverts you to a human and hints that it is on the moon! After that, he plans to go kill Nobunaga because he feels so invincible but from the looks of it, the flaming rubbles got him. In the aftermath, Da Vinci searched the area. He didn’t find his body but only his Gunki. So Musashi is planning to go to the moon. Really? How? Rockets weren’t invented in this time! Using that Kaguya from the folklore and not this Kaguya the princess?! On their way to Osaka, Ninjatarou pops up. He gets teased for running away because we didn’t see him during the fight with the ayakashi, right? Since he begs of wanting to be his lackey, Musashi gives him a test. Somebody is following him and if he can stop that person, he’ll consider his request. Ninjatarou accepts this and intercepts the pursuer who is no other than Desperado. But she is so fascinated seeing a real ninja and forces him to do a ninja trick. Or she’ll shoot! Luckily Ninjatarou dupes her by showing some body exchange ninpo and escapes. Meanwhile Kaguya is bored of being confined within her castle and rides out, much to Danjou’s chagrin. She is not afraid of ayakashi targeting her because of the new moon, she is confident their powers are weakened. Yeah… We’ll see…

Episode 8
Musashi plans to take a detour to Sendai and raid Date Masamune’s castle since there is some info he wants to get from that guy. Next we see Mitsunari trying to get some royal kid, Hideyori to do some official stuffs but he is more preoccupied painting than doing all those political work. Also, something about his Kaguya sister is missing and is worried. Speaking of Kaguya, an ayakashi crow attacks. Danjou can’t do sh*t so Kaguya just do some kung fu fighting to defeat it! WTF?! Oh yeah? What are you going to do with more crows now?! Too much to handle that she gets kidnapped by one. Musashi and Ronin are confronted by Hidetada, the son of Ieyasu Tokugawa. He claims Edo is no longer a realm of humans but has turned into a demon realm. He is pleading them to help him defeat his father. He is no longer who he is. Yeah, that’s because he turned into that fat ugly pig, Ryougen, right? Flashback 2 years ago after the loss at Sekigahara, while wallowing in depression, he was approached by Yasha who made some deal with him to rewrite the current world and return it to what it is supposed to be. From then on, Yasha is now acting as his right hand man. Conversation interrupted when a runaway carriage is heading their way. Musashi thinks some hot chick is inside it and wants to help. Yeah, he is going to test out Gunki. All just to shoot off its wheel?! What a waste! Time to see which hot babe is inside… Kaguya???!!! WTF, Hidetada wants to kill her?!

Episode 9
Hidetada blames Kaguya as the one who turned his father into a demon. More flashbacks as Yasha was telling some story to Ieyasu and Hidetada but they don’t believe his story. Hence Yasha shows proof but conjuring an illusion of what Edo was supposed to be had Ieyasu won. Now you believe? The Tokugawa shogunate would have continued its reign for another 300 years instead of the current Toyotomi shogunate. So why did it turn out as it is now? That is because Taiko Hideyoshi adopted Kaguya. Thanks to Kaguya’s existence, it brought Toyotomi a lot of luck and it also altered Japan’s history that should not have happened otherwise such as Japan losing certain wars. But can a mere human like Kaguya have a great effect? Well, this is no human Kaguya. She is actually the moon priestess from the folklore! Of course Hidetada doesn’t believe it all but his father did. Depressed and believing this would help his family and future, he accepted Yasha’s proposal. So he drank some potion that turned him into a demon. After all, to correct history, a human can’t do it but the greater power of the ayakashi could! Hence he had to cast away his human soul. Yeah, the first thing he did after becoming Ryougen is to suck the young essence out of his female servants! And now Hidetada is going to kill her. I don’t know. Will that change history? Or is this just personal vendetta? Kaguya just keeps dodging. Man, either Kaguya is good or Hidetada’s sword play sucks. Musashi just watching and won’t help. Yeah, it’s so funny no wonder he prefers to watch! HAHAHA! Nearby, I guess the security was so lax that Yume manages to break free from her palanquin and slide down the slope. Musashi heard her scream and would rather go save this cute chick. Yukimura arrives and wants Yume returned. Musashi won’t. Before they could fight, somehow Kaguya managed to ditch Hidetada and make them stop fighting. She is surprised to see Yume. What’s going on? Don’t know. Everybody looking so surprised too.

Episode 10
Hidetada pops up and still wants to fight Kaguya. But Yukimura tells him to back down because drawing his sword against Kaguya means going against Toyotomi. Don’t want that to disrespect the shogunate, right? And with that, Hidetada backs down. Yukimura wants Yume handed over since she is under orders from Mitsunari to deliver her to a safe place. That is, Kaguya’s Osaka castle. She also claims Yume is being targeted. But Musashi finds it suspicious and won’t hand her back. If she insists, fight him. That is when Yukimura’s men show up to take on Musashi and Ronin as Kaguya takes Yume and run. A distance away, Yume wakes up and learns that Musashi saved her. Technically in the loosest sense, I guess. She is glad because what she dreamt came true. Kaguya senses somebody following them. Don’t worry. It’s just Hideaki. Not sure how he escaped. He decides to follow the girls to wherever they want to go and offer his protection. But then before them is Yukimura. Hand over Yume. No can do. Okay. Let’s fight. Before the showdown between Kaguya and Yukimura can start, Hideaki being sneaky knocks out Yukimura from the back! Phew. But wait! He also knocks out Kaguya! What the?! So he is going to kidnap and take both ladies hostage? He leaves Yukimura a message for Musashi. If he wants to save both Kaguya and Yume back, come to some castle. If Yukimura wants too, she can also join in this race to save them. And so Yukimura returns to interrupt the men fighting and relay the message to see who can save the ladies first. Yeah, it’s more fun this way, I guess. Let the race begin.

Episode 11
It seems Hideaki is telling the ladies to put up with this act of his and he is confident as per Yume’s dream, Musashi will come rescue them. In fact, Musashi is already inside the castle. But first, they have to traverse a lot of traps. Same for Yukimura. Her men handle the traps so as to let her move on. Then the next set of obstacle is mechanical samurai dolls. Musashi knows that only Da Vinci can make such inventions and might have been commissioned by the shogunate to make them. As there are too many to handle, surprisingly Hideaki comes to Musashi’s aid. He is showing a shortcut to the top because he wants Musashi to win and not Yukimura who is on the shogunate’s side. No time to argue so Musashi goes with him. But it is just a ploy because Hideaki steals his Gunki. Don’t worry, he is just borrowing it to exact revenge on the shogunate and once he is done, he’ll return it to him. Musashi tries to warn him about the demon but he doesn’t believe. Oh dear. Now Hideaki is screaming because he is forced to face the inner demon. Unfortunately for him, the demon takes over. He returns to reality as one and is hell bent on revenge. He returns to the ladies but assures he won’t kill them. Yukimura arrives and as promised, she wants Yume returned. Of course Hideaki will not honour his promise since he is going to kill everyone who sides with the shogunate. And Yukimura will be his first. When he fires Gunki, Musashi pushes Yukimura out of the way. However Musashi somehow has some barrier and deflects the bullet! WTF?!

Episode 12
So it is Yume who can put up that barrier? She reveals that it is her mission to protect Musashi and not the other way round. Meanwhile we see Da Vinci making haste towards the castle. Some explanation of why he made those mechanical dolls (too ‘technical and advanced’ for me to understand of course!) and looks like he is going to fix them. Hideaki has gone crazy being taken over by the demon. He is going to just kill everybody then? Yeah, going trigger happy wasting bullets. Quick, everyone hide inside Yume’s barrier! So we have enough time to devise a plan to stop this! Da Vinci arrives at the castle and sees Yasha there too. Looks like they both know each other as Yasha updates him the interesting thing that is happening inside the castle now. It is believe at this rate, Hideaki will die. Yukimura is going to put an end to this farce as she steps out and prepared to cut down Hideaki. But Musashi won’t let that happen and comes between them. Because he’ll be the one to kill Hideaki?! Did I hear that right?! Great timing as Musashi has Yume use her special ability. So… Just use her barrier to push Musashi forward and bump into Hideaki… He drops Gunki and Musashi takes it back. So freaking easy???!!! Before Musashi could kill Hideaki, Yasha pops up to kidnap Hideaki. Da Vinci makes a proposal to Yasha and wants to follow him back to his base. It seems that as long as he gets to invent things, he doesn’t mind selling his soul to the devil. Yasha agrees and also obliges Da Vinci’s request to turn Sasuke back to his human form. Damn, is he Ninjatarou’s clone?! With that, Da Vinci goes with Yasha. When the rest return, yeah they’re surprised that Ninjatarou is here but he dismisses that. He is actually one of Yukimura’s men and tells them what happened to Da Vinci.

Episode 13
Ryougen thinks nothing has come of good ever since he became a demon. YOU THINK NOW?! And he realizes he looks ugly as f*ck… YOU THINK NOW?! Yasha returns with Da Vinci and introduces Ryougen to him. Ryougen hopes Da Vinci will help him defeat Toyotomi. Sasuke narrates how he was caught. When he was spying in Da Vinci’s workshop, he hid since he spotted Da Vinci coming in with Yasha. It seems Yasha wanted Da Vinci’s genius to create a radar that will detect 7 seals around Japan. Breaking those seals will give the ayakashi immense power. Yasha then smoked out Sasuke and wanted to kill him but Da Vinci suggested turning him into his pet monkey. With Ninjatarou here, meet Sasuke. Yeah, they’re exact clones! Musashi and Ronin tease Ninjatarou to train under Sasuke so we get to see some cheap ninja stunts and of course Sasuke being the better ninja eventually wins. Yasha gives Da Vinci his own atelier to work. In return, he wants his inventions to make the ayakashi stronger so as they could wrest Kaguya and Yume to make them Ryougen’s bride. Of course Yasha now realizes the thorn standing in their way now is Musashi and they have to do something about him too. Yasha fears if Musashi gets the other Gunki, the ayakashi will be ruined. Da Vinci wants to leave the capturing of Kaguya to him. Sasuke shows the rest a map that Da Vinci entrusted him with. So it’s a general location of the seals? Yukimura wants Musashi’s help to protect the shogunate from the ayakashi but he refuses since he prefers to plunder castles for treasures. However Yukimura notes that if he refuses to cooperate, she will have to take Yume to Osaka castle. Accepting this job means Yume can travel with him and Yukimura will come out with some excuse to convince Mitsunari. The gang splits up to different directions for their mission. Yukimura travels with her men, Sasuke accompanies Kaguya and Danjou, Yume joining with Musashi, Ronin and Ninjatarou. While camping, looks like the apparition of Shingen Takeda pops up. Yeah, this guy died a long time ago so he isn’t some ordinary ayakashi. I think he doesn’t like being awakened from his slumber so he transforms into a monster tiger to kill them.

Episode 14
WTF?! Yume doing some phoenix hadouken to destroy the tiger?! Shingen tries to fight Musashi but the rest keep interrupting. Hence Shingen kidnaps Musashi to a different dimension so they can fight in peace. It seems Shingen is also here to tell him he hasn’t mastered Gunki yet. Once he does so, they shall fight again. Weird. Musashi is thrown back to his pals and he is feeling sore he somewhat technically lost to Shingen. We see Shingen returning to Yasha, the one who revived him. Something about his plan to combine Da Vinci’s genius and revived Sengoku era warriors to strengthen the ayakashi. Speaking of Da Vinci, looks like he is near completion of a giant robot, Rasetsu. From what I understand, it has a built-in radar to help search for the seals. And also something to help in slowing down Musashi (not really sure about this part). Meanwhile back in Osaka castle, Kaguya seems to have deduced the final place of the seal. Mitsunari hears her return and Kaguya isn’t impressed about him mistreating Yume by locking her up then. Musashi’s team has reached their destination. It seems the seal is located in a castle that is submerged underwater. Ninjatarou goes to do recon but gets attacked by piranha?! I don’t know how Musashi is going to help by swinging his sword underwater but he realizes the fish are paper shikigami. Still lethal, though. Not sure why the f*ck Ninjatarou still screaming for help so Ronin uses his sword to summon lightning and strike the fish! Damn, LIGHTING AND WATER! You mean nothing else get fried?! Weird. Musashi and Ronin then dive underwater into the castle to retrieve a scroll. That’s the easy part. Because as they swim out, Rasetsu grabs onto Musashi. Ronin swims to surface for help. But better hurry, Musashi is running out of air. Yeah, his gun can’t do not sh*t either.

Episode 15
After Rasetsu steals the seal, it disappears. Had not Ronin dived back down to bring Musashi back up, the anime would’ve ended here! Musashi feels frustrated that really screwed this one up. Rasetsu returns to Da Vinci and the rest are amazed that it got a seal so fast. Since Ryougen isn’t into all this technical stuffs, he prefers to go chase women. WTF?! Then they talk about the next seal that Musashi and co are trying to get. It is a tricky one and they want to see how they’ll overcome its illusion. And of course even if they get the seal, they’re going to steal it from them like before. Kaguya’s side is preparing to leave on a journey to search for the seals. Knowing Mitsunari will not allow them, Sasuke transforms himself into Kaguya as distraction. He did this in the middle of the street, did nobody else even see this or bother?! The rest think Musashi is depressed and want to cheer him up. Ronin isn’t the guy from the job because they’re not best friends. In fact they started out as enemies. So I guess it’s a job for Yume. A woman’s touch is needed. But as she tries to sooth him, it is revealed his sulking was just thinking what to eat when they get here! Yeah, this ramen shop will do! Sure, he feels frustrated but fretting about it won’t get the seal back. Might as well satiate his hunger first. With that, itadakimasu! However look who’s back? Desperado! Oh man, going to kill him today? Well, not today. Because he saved her last time, she is just here to hand him more special bullets she got from Da Vinci then. That’s all. See ‘ya. However Yume wants her to join the gang because she dreamt about her helping out Musashi. The rest don’t agree but with Yume being adamant, I guess that’s that. And so Desperado joins the gang in their next seal search. This castle looks relatively safe. So as they split up to look, suddenly they are faced off by a version of themselves from the past!

Episode 16
Animation so bad, I can’t tell which is the fake!!! TRUE STORY!!! If you’re wondering why Ninjatarou has Sasuke as his past, not sure if this is played as a joke because Sasuke thinks Ninjatarou is supposed to be Sasuke! Damn, I’m so confused! Meanwhile a side distraction as we see Kaguya praising Danjou to make him blush. Cheesy romance? Yeah, it’s actually Sasuke disguised as Kaguya to play a prank on him?! Damn, Kaguya also in on this?! I guess the journey is going to be a long one. Back to the clone wars, past Musashi being Musashi wants to steal his Gunki and of course present Musashi won’t allow that. Past Ronin is appalled his future self is friends with Musashi because he is supposed to kill and take Musashi’s head as the bounty. Past Desperado is shocked that her future self isn’t interested in seeking revenge against her father. And past Sasuke… This guy thinks Ninjatarou killed him and took over his identity. This is even more confusing!!! This is what happens when you’re really in denial. In order for the current selves to leave this room, they must defeat their past counterparts. However they cannot kill their past selves because by doing so, they will cease to exist. And if they don’t do so, it’s curtains for them. So now you see this dilemma? How to get out of this?! THINK! Meanwhile, Ryougen and Shingen are so bored that they head down to this castle just to see their past versions? Yeah, I guess they are much more handsome and younger than this ugly state.

Episode 17
Past Ieyasu and Shingen want to kill themselves to avoid becoming monsters like the present! Oh sh*t! Your convincing game better be strong! Da Vinci is curious how the seal can seal the ayakashi so he experiments with it and woah! Who is this apparition coming out from it?! Is this onmyouji version of Yasha? Nope. Onmyouji version of Tarou Urashima! Looks like he is surprised that one of the seals has been found. Yeah, perhaps he should’ve hid it a little better, no? Because Urashima doesn’t have his real body, taking it back is impossible. So he is going to help the humans to prevent it from falling into the ayakashi’s hands. Da Vinci then asks the whereabouts of his real body. It’s somewhere. But that body is not his real body. Did I understand that correctly?! Whatever. Urashima then appears before Kaguya’s group. He can instantly teleport them to the castle with the seal. But he won’t take the seal for them? Yeah, got to earn your keep. And so they’re now in a castle that is in an underground cave. Damn, should’ve teleported the horses too. How do they get back afterwards?! Ninjatarou is so pathetic and useless that his past self is going to just kill him for the shame. When he does, Ninjatarou returns to reality. Urashima’s voice then tells the rest to let them be defeated by their past. From what I understand, because there are many futures, so killing the present may lead to another future diverging from the past. Yeah, I guess everybody so confused and just decided to trust this voice, huh? And it worked! Everybody back to reality and everyone is surprised Ninjatarou found the seal! So facing off with their past more believable than this?! Yasha is about to swoop in to steal but Urashima causes him some major headache! WTF, Yasha decides to give up and let Musashi keep the seal! That was easy!!! Meanwhile Ryougen and Shingen still trying to convince their past selves not to do seppuku!!! OMFG… Trying to convince the future is still bright but can’t convey the total truth about their failures… Seppuku!!! Rather die than this sh*t!!! Can they just lie or something?!

Episode 18
Thanks to Urashima putting a barrier for Kaguya’s side to enter, this will help dispel any ayakashi for entering. But stupid Danjou who is afraid of ghosts accidentally knocks down a seal. You mean he didn’t read it properly and put it back?! Something seeping in… Yasha seeks Da Vinci’s permission as he needs to borrow Rasetsu. He is just done with the maintenance and will let him use it. But Da Vinci asks if he knows anything about Urashima because they look similar. Yasha not looking pleased… More WTF moments because despite Musashi saying he will keep a tight leash on this seal, WTF he is playing catch with it with Ronin???!!! WTF???!!! You bet he threw too hard and now it is going to roll into the river! Thank goodness Ninjatarou saves it but looks like out from the river comes Rasetsu! Why the f*ck was it hiding in the river?! Anyway, all go all out to fight it but get owned. Yeah, Rasetsu uppercut! Stupid moment because Desperado uses her gun to knock it off balance, stupid Rasetsu somehow revealing the seal, cue for others to take it down and steal it. Damn, if Yume’s power was that powerful to knock it off, shouldn’t she have just used this from the start?! Though they got the seal, not over yet because Rasetsu is still up and kicking. Time for Musashi to use his special bullets. Well, it’s going to take more than that. Meanwhile we are freaking amused by Danjou being freaked out by… Bats!!! And then real sh*t happens when an ayakashi pops up. They think this is one of Yasha’s men but it seems this ayakashi hates Yasha and has a grudge against him. Something about Yasha being a fake ayakashi and this dude’s the real deal until Yasha destroyed him or something. Yasha pops up. Good news for Kaguya. He isn’t here to take her but the seal. The ayakashi sides with Kaguya. Yasha not scared until Urashima pops up to side with Kaguya too! Yasha is confident Urashima can’t win without his real body but the latter doesn’t mind. All he needs to do is just stop him.

Episode 19
Rasetsu and Musashi get transported to another dimension to fight! Déjà vu? I guess the rest of the gang know the drill. Let’s believe in him and wait for his return. Yeah, too bad in that other dimension, Rasetsu is kicking Musashi’s ass! Meanwhile Yasha’s headache has him remember his memories. Seems like he fought Urashima before. So Urashima gives the seal to Kaguya and has her hold on to it until he settles his fight with Yasha. WTF?! HE TOOK OUT THE SEAL FROM THE CASTLE! DOESN’T THAT DEFEAT THE PURPOSE?! Anyway, with the grudging ayakashi on Urashima’s side, he is confident he can win this time as they teleport to another dimension to shoot lasers at each other. WTF… Anyway, since Kaguya knows Urashima from before, she tells the rest about Urashima’s fight with Yasha. In short, Yasha won and stole his body. Or something like that. Meanwhile Ryougen is so bored that he goes bug Da Vinci creating his new teleportation machine. Some f*cking technical explanation about correcting history but I don’t really get it. Something makes impatient Ryougen mad so he kicks the machine and it’s starting to act up! Oh boy… So this teleportation machine is causing some time riff that sucks in Ninjatarou and Sasuke? Musashi and Rasetsu too? It also interrupts Yasha and Urashima’s fight. This distraction allows Urashima to forcefully steal Yasha’s body. Musashi is thrown back to reality. Good news, he got the seal from Rasetsu. Sasuke is also thrown back to reality. He claims that Ninjatarou has fused with him and is gone. The same can be said when Urashima returns. Yasha is now gone and history of this world is going to be corrected to its true version. And yeah, the teleportation machine explodes… Back to the drawing board?

Episode 20
Urashima explains about how Sasuke split out to Ninjatarou when Urashima and Yasha first fought. Yeah, some space-time distortion during their fight that allowed it to happen. And now because Urashima won, things are reverting back to what it is. So it’s not like Ninjatarou has died or ceased to exist. They’re the same person to begin with. WTF. Oh damn, I’m just like Danjou who still don’t get it! Urashima leaves Kaguya to continue her journey because he is going to destroy the ayakashi’s base. Ryougen is so bored that he is searching everywhere for Yasha. Where that dude been? Once again, bugging Da Vinci fixing his teleportation device. Then pops up Urashima. Ryougen can’t believe when he explains Yasha isn’t dead but never existed. This makes Ryougen sad because this dashes his dreams. Yeah, he’ll be an ugly fat f*ck for the rest of his life! In that case, Urashima is going to kill him! Oh sh*t! That escalated quickly. But before he kills him, he is going to show him the future. F*ck, Ryougen can joke he wants to show him the lottery number?! WTF???!!! Anyway, on a serious note, even if history will be corrected and Ieyasu will be the one who will take the shogunate, it’s the other Ieyasu, not you, Ryougen. So he is still gonna die, right? Ryougen then summons Shingen to help him kill Urashima. But that guy melted?! Looks like Urashima has sealed all the ayakashi in this world. Then Urashima zaps Ryougen. When the seals start to shine, Musashi who is holding it also starts shining. And then he disappears! Again! Yeah, looks like back to the other dimension. Before him is Urashima. However he is not the person whom he will fight. It will be Ryougen. Urashima wants Musashi to kill Ryougen and by doing so, the future will be changed into a corrected one. Of course, Urashima also gives Ryougen a chance to kill Musashi. Doing so means guaranteeing his life. But Musashi doesn’t want to do it. It’s not like there’s anything for him, right? Urashima is willing to tell him the other whereabouts of the other Gunki. This and also if Musashi helps him to seal the ayakashi. Oh well. No grudges against you, ugly fatty. Be prepared to die!

Episode 21
Don’t look down on Ryougen! This guy can also fight! Well, considering the lame barriers he puts up, I guess Musashi’s gun can’t shoot through it. This is going to take a while so Urashima goes to see Musashi’s team. Yeah, they’re so bored waiting that Desperado is teaching them how to play poker! They think Musashi is coming back with this time-space distortion. Nope. It’s Urashima. Seems he is here to teleport them to the next seal. We return to the lame Musashi-Ryougen fight and it seems Ryougen is doing some weird dance. How is this his special attack? Because with Musashi’s guard down, Ryougen sneaks up on him and squeezes his balls!!!! OMFG!!! WTF???!!! THIS IS SO CRINGE AND HILARIOUS???!!! THIS RYOUGEN DUDE!!!! Yume’s side is walking through a cave when they spot a couple of ayakashi in front of them. It is actually Kaguya’s side. They too see Yume’s side as ayakashi. What to do? FIGHT! Yeah, should have sensed something wrong when the ayakashi fight like humans… Back to the other dimension’s fight. Seems Musashi has given up. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. That Urashima dude isn’t even here so he has lost interest. This has Ryougen wondering about something. He believes Musashi’s goal is to destroy the ayakashi and return history to its proper version. On the other hand, Ryougen teamed up with the ayakashi so he can become the new shogunate. So doesn’t mean their goals are the same? And that their fight has no meaning? You’re right! Damn, I never thought Ryougen is this ‘smart’!!! This is what Urashima is actually hoping for them to realize. With that, he sends them back. Ryougen is back and what did he learn? He doesn’t understand the meaning of life! Oh well… When Kaguya and Yume realize each other’s moves are familiar, they stop fighting and hug each other. The spell is removed and both sides see their true form. Good thing they didn’t kill each other, right? As a freebie, they get the seal dropped right in their hand. And also Musashi returns. He thinks he is the only one having it tough so when the rest praise each other for being good fighters, Musashi is clueless what has happened and the rest laugh at him. Yeah, WTF is going on?!

Episode 22
Musashi is thinking if this journey is worth continuing. I mean, is it worth it to collect the seals now? Ryougen is a pretty much harmless guy (and a good joker to boot!) and with Yasha not around to pull the strings, the ayakashi won’t be as aggressive as before. Meanwhile Desperado is asking Danjou about the initial plan of Ryougen wanting Kaguya as his bride. Something about Kaguya has some powers but Danjou isn’t saying. Elsewhere, Kaguya and Yume are on a boat together. Kaguya hums a song that sounds familiar to Yume. She knows someone sang it to her a long time ago before but can’t remember who. Kaguya sings the full song and then tells her it was their mother who sang it. Now she remembers! Oh yeah, another round of that song but this time, mummy version. Oh damn, then another round but a Kaguya and Yume duet! Meanwhile we see Da Vinci and Ryougen getting drunk together and talk about sh*t. Mainly about Ryougen not wanting to be an ugly motherf*cking but to blow away the blues, Da Vinci just eggs him on to drink, drink and drink! DRINK MORE! That’s the spirit to prove you’re still human! And then back to more Kaguya-Yume duet of that song. Damn, can we go back to that old guys’ drunken stupor? That was more entertaining… The song is making others feel touched (Danjou getting emotional, WTF?!) but to Urashima, he is reeling in pain?! To make them stop singing, he attacks them! WTF?! Extreme! The rest want an explanation but Urashima won’t say anything. Just don’t sing it ever again. So what if they do? He gonna kill them? It seems Kaguya and Yume think Urashima is a person they know and one day he’ll return to his true form. Some minor cheesy distraction because since Desperado has been imitating Ronin’s way of speaking, everybody laughs and teases them they like each other. Da na? Oh yeah. Such fun times.

Episode 23
Ryougen is so bored that he bugs Da Vinci again. Some talk about the past and future as well as parallel futures but just like Ryougen, I don’t get it! He then notices Rasetsu has never moved ever since Yasha’s defeated. Because Da Vinci programmed it to move upon Yasha’s orders, Ryougen wonders if he can programme it for him. Just a few tinkering and it works! While the rest head to the next castle to retrieve a seal, Kaguya and Yume confront Urashima to confirm why he still wants the seals collected since Yasha is defeated and the ayakashi are no longer a threat. He won’t say. Then Yume asks him about his identity. Won’t say either. So how? She sings that song! Oh sh*t! It really hurts him! Damn, do we have to hear again their mother’s version of the song?! They wonder if he knows their mom. He continues to deny everything and disappears. And just like that they think they know who Urashima is and since he has forgotten his past, they are the only ones who can save him from this suffering. Yeah, just don’t sing the damn song! As the gang arrives at the castle, suddenly it crumbles! Rasetsu is seen flying out from it and has already obtained the seal! Despite Musashi having all the seals, Rasetsu chases after Danjou. Then he is cut down! Is Danjou dead?! Uhm… Actually, Rasetsu just scribbled something on his back! In fact, Rasetsu starts scribbling their initials on their back?! WTF?! You bet this is one of those stupid orders from Ryougen and Da Vinci. Yeah, those guys are really bored… Meanwhile we see a forlorn Urashima. Damn, background instrumental version of that song! I was hoping he would break the fourth wall complaining about it. But WTF?! He hums it himself and hurts himself?! Damn, he is even questioning his real self! Back to the weird tag with Rasetsu. Finally everybody combines their efforts to destroy Rasetsu. I mean, that robot really explodes! It’s raining debris! After Musashi takes the seal, the debris wreckage disappear. Yeah, I’m just as confused as Musashi about Rasetsu.

Episode 24
While Kaguya and Yume are still talking about Urashima, suddenly they are approached by Goemon. Don’t really understand the reason why he wants to help them but I suppose because the next seal is in a golden castle, this ninja has turned into a thief and wants to steal some gold? So he manages to get a boat for the gang to head over there but some monster crashes into it and everyone washes up ashore separated. Goemon finds the castle’s whereabouts first and heads in. This is followed by the rest. Musashi has Kaguya and Yume with him so when they enter, they find strange gold sculptures. They’re moving so I guess these are ayakashi. Yeah, the discount Oscar ayakashi dudes claim Urashima cursed them like this. But it doesn’t matter to our heroes because all they want is the seal. Oh well then. Time to fight. Kaguya rushes in first and if you’re wondering why her knife can easily slice through gold, well, some explanation it’s a special knife. Not that I care anyway. With too many Oscar clones, Yume uses her zapping power to melt them. Should’ve used this from the start! However they are now faced off with the Oscar boss. Meanwhile on Ronin’s side, they encounter some slime monster. All get stuck except Sasuke who claims he is going to get help. Like, HOW?! Goemon thinks he has found the treasure but falls into the trap and into the slime trap. Kaguya gets captured by the Oscar boss and turned into ice. Yeah, Musashi’s flaming bullets is turned into ice too. So when he uses the special ice bullet, nothing happens. So now Yume tries to make Kaguya remember their bond? How? SING THAT SONG?! OH DAMN!!! Somehow this has Urashima move and the warmth of the mother melts Kaguya from the ice. WTF???!!! This also awakens Kaguya’s true power because now she’s summoning lava to flood the place?! WTF?! EVERYBODY GONNA DIE?!

Episode 25
So… Yume’s barrier brings them out? Oh look. It’s Urashima. F*ck! Not that song again! But the flashback hinted that Urashima could be their father or uncle… There’s some explanation from Urashima but at this point I just couldn’t care. Oh, the ayakashi still lives and has the seal? No problem. Urashima just summons some monster turtle-snake to devour it and spit out the rest of the trapped comrades. And with that, they also get the seal! SO F*CKING EASY!!! Oh right. We’re running out of time. So much so he teleports them to the final seal’s whereabouts. It’s a lava crater supposedly where Kaguya and Yume crashed from the moon?! Meanwhile we take a detour to Ryougen. Da Vinci wants to go teleport somewhere but Ryougen is not interested and rather play with his Ranmaru doll. With a doll who always praises you, I can see why. Urashima then teleports Da Vinci to Osaka castle. Mitsunari is suspicious about this foreigner but Hideyori takes him in as his art teacher so that’s that. Da Vinci wonders if this castle is well defended because he is speculating somebody is going to rebel against the shogunate and attack here. It can’t be Ryougen because that bugger has lost all will to conquer. When Yukimura and her men return (where the f*ck where they?!), Mitsunari talks to them and it seems it is highly speculated that Musashi might be the one to attack. Back to Musashi’s side. With Yume’s barrier and Musashi using Gunki, damn I wish I can propel like that! He floats to the centre of the crater and enters the cave to find the seal. Damn, there are signs everywhere?! Was Urashima even trying to hide it?! Finally the chest where the seal is located… It’s empty! But what’s this? A note saying that Kojiro has already taken it! OMG. Haven’t heard that name in a while. You bet Musashi is mad. And tada! Kojiro is here in the flesh! What’s so shocking about him? Kojiro is actually a woman!!! Those boobs… No wonder Takuan lost… But that ugly manly face… Anyway, Musashi and Kojiro are going to fight to see who is the best Gunki user whatever.

Episode 26
We see the lame fight. I mean, how can Musashi fight effectively if he is using a gun like a sword?! Meanwhile Yukimura fortifies the castle with lots of men. However she is starting to think deep about everything. Because as I understand, she went around Japan and couldn’t find a single seal unlike Musashi who found all of them. She doesn’t know what to believe in anymore. The truth. The justice. Like as though somebody is manipulating it all from behind. I know who! It’s called plot convenience!!! Urashima interrupts the lame fight because he wants the seal to be combined. What will happen? Come with him and find out. Because Kojiro doesn’t want to go, she gives the seal to Musashi. She will train hard and they’ll settle their score next time. Then when she beats him, they’ll eat together. IS IT ME OR DO I THINK THAT KOJIRO IS ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH MUSASHI?! Ronin knows but he can’t say or Musashi will kill him! Urashima teleports them outside the castle. Why couldn’t he just teleport them inside? Damn, he breaks the fourth wall saying this is the final episode and they need to ramp up the drama?! Need some action scenes… But that won’t happen because the gang head inside Hideyoshi’s room where the ritual where it’s held. If you wonder why the army didn’t attack, I believe Danjou was tasked in trying to stop them. Yeah, maybe he did a good job. Meanwhile Ryougen is so bored and regretted not going with Da Vinci, WTF I don’t know what happened Ranmaru just teleported him?!

Urashima wants Musashi to put all the seals in the centre of the magic circle. Before he could do so, Kaguya and Yume want Urashima to reveal his true face. He won’t. So? SING THAT FREAKING SONG!!! OMFG!!! While in pain, Ronin slashes open his mask and the truth… Urashima is their mother!!! Another gender bender, huh? As the ritual run its course, after putting the seals and Urashima’s chanting, a coffin containing Hideyoshi’s corpse pops up. But what’s this? He has a Gunki in his hand?! But I thought it was on the moon?! It seems for the sake of Hideyoshi, Urashima brought it from the moon. Ah, Da Vinci here to conveniently explain things. Apparently it is forbidden for those from the moon and Earth to fall in love with each other. They’re not the only case and there are many in the past. To avoid tragedy, both sides lived separately. Thus Kaguya and Yume are actual daughters of Hideyoshi and Urashima. Hideyoshi thought of using some teleportation powers to bring in items from another era like guns. Repeating this causes some space-time distortion and hence actual history changed. Urashima is then sealed in another dimension by that Abe onmyouji guy. In that space also existed the ayakashi and somewhere Urashima’s body split to become Yasha and that fight happened. But the real reason Urashima is gathering all the seals is to actually resurrect Hideyoshi. That dude comes back to life. And the first thing he wants is Musashi’s Gunki?! Are they going to fight?! Well, Musashi gives his Gunki to him. Don’t want to be burdened with the devil anymore. But before Hideyoshi could take it, he turns into dust! Was the seal too weak or did God forbid any further changes to history? I say because it’s time to end this sh*t! Either way, despair for Urashima. Boo hoo! Star crossed lovers this anime isn’t. In the aftermath, Musashi, Ronin and Yume part ways with the rest to travel elsewhere. And what happened to Da Vinci? It is said he went to the future with Ryougen to become manzai comedians. WTF???!!!

Gone-dope Mu-suck-shit! Da Na!!!
OMG. OMFG! It’s finally over! I don’t know, man. I actually made it to the end! I don’t know how! Oh, right? I laughed a lot! Like, HAHAHAHA!!! Da na?! Oh man. I can now truly testify and say why this is one of the worst if not the worst anime ever made in the history. A bad blot in the anime industry that it is understandable why nobody wants to even talk about it. But like I have said. Even if this was the worst anime ever, it was so bad that it was good and there were so many parts that I was just freaking laughing out loud that I was hardly bored or dissatisfied or even mad about. I mean, this is actually enjoyable for the most part despite I don’t understand half of the conversation. Hence I don’t actually regret watching this piece of sh*t nor felt like I have wasted my time at all although it is truly one of the worst animes out there but not in the literal sense. Damn, I don’t know watching this series has twisted my brain into actually giving positive negative reviews but I can personally say that this show is like a successful failure. Good riddance. Oh boy. Don’t tell me I’m going to miss this show… Sniff, sniff. Hahahahahaha!!! Da na?

Right from the very start, it is very obvious that the production quality issues were there. When you already have at the very first episode of your series, you’re going to have major problems down the road if you don’t buck up. Very unfortunate for this series, it never did. So much so I was wondering if they decided that bad production quality was to become its trademark. Get what I’m saying? Like as though the term and job of quality control doesn’t exist within this production crew at all. Even if it did, they just f*ck it all and continued with the production because, who cares, right? I’m not sure what they were thinking or if somebody in the team had something against Monkey Punch who was the series’ creator. And Monkey Punch was very well known for his hit series, Lupin III. Gundou Musashi I guess was one of his lesser ideas that didn’t really take off but perhaps somebody back then thought they could turn this around. It became such an insult but I suppose Lupin III was such a legend that it didn’t hurt his reputation a bit. There’s some interview with the production crew a few years ago regarding this disaster but I just skimmed through it so I’m not really sure if the bad production was made on purpose or not but from general looks, it wasn’t. Oh well. Whatever the excuses, what’s done is done. Da na?

The most obvious disaster issue of this series is of course the animation. It totally sucks sh*t. Either the crew hired people who have no experience or talent at all in animating or they hired a bunch of disgruntled overworked people to just produce sh*t that isn’t even anywhere near mediocre. Hell, this is nowhere even scrapping near the bottom. There is no bottom! When you see first see the animation right at the very first episode, if you really truly love anime, your heart will sink and break through the ground. How could such crap even be passed off as anime? Either you cry or like yours truly, start laughing at how bad the rigid and stiff animation throughout the series played out. The inconsistencies throughout the series and even within the episode itself is appalling that makes you think the same few scenes are passed around and drawn by different people or the same guy did everything and put it all together under intense pressure. It’s got to be either one. Either way, the end result is what we get. Crappy sh*t that even makes horse dung look like premium item! Da na?!

Even just looking at the inconsistent character designs and animation will make you feel cringe and want to vomit but thankfully I turned all that negative force into pure laughter energy. Thanks to the bad animation, it is very hard to tell the characters’ emotions and you’ll be confused what kind of state of emotion they are in. I think you can count with the number of fingers in your hands the kind of different expressions of the characters have and still have balance. Like Musashi’s smirk look on his face, is he being cheeky or is he in panic or is this his naturally stupid looking face. You wonder. I thought hot chicks like Kaguya and Yume will at least be spared but I guess I was wrong. At the start, for example Kaguya was actually pretty decently drawn and animated (surprise!) but as the series goes by, I started to know a pretty drastic drop in quality as she too became like other characters. Yup, a case of bad quality as she starts having that derpy look or plain looks. Like they don’t care anymore, huh? Oh right. We never cared from the start.

And because of that, some of the characters have really weird designs like as though they’ve taken or stolen it from somewhere else. Just my personal opinion. For instance, I thought Danjou looked more like a sissy version of that villain from Marvel, The Mandarin. DA NA?! Is Ronin some sort of discount version of Nosferatu? Yasha and Urashima, I bet they got lazy in designing his face or something so they just cover him with a simple mask stolen from Street Fighter II’s Balrog (or Vega to you westerners). Did they design ugly Ryougen based on Ninja Turtles’ Krang? Why does Rasetsu look more like a hippie than a robot? And the most atrocious character design of all goes to Da Vinci. Oh yeah. I thought this old foreigner bugger looks like one of those creepily and weirdly designed characters taken from that horrible Legend Of Zelda game of the CD-i series! No kidding! I mean, just look at this dude. Like as though somebody us MS Paint to draw and colour this guy! Do you not agree with me, DA NA?!

If that kind of crappy animation and character design hasn’t made it all worse yet, wait till you notice the background and backdrop. Oh, what’s this? They’re not even drawn?! For the most part, they are actually real photos but they just blur it out enough so as to blend the horrible animation into it. Oh heck, you’ll notice the bad animation first before noticing the ‘cheating’ backdrop. I suppose everyone is already having a hard time (or no heart) with the animation, who is going to spend more time putting in the effort for the backgrounds, huh? After all, it is a good thing that the setting of this series takes place in feudal Japan so it would be easy to just crop a few trees, forest and some of your typical old Japanese castles or temples whatever and load them as your backdrop in this anime. There. So simple. ACC Production made this crap and it is obvious why this is their only anime they helmed… Yeah, the time-space distortion was so great that we got this sh*t in our reality instead!

You can see why having such bad production has led to a domino effect of effecting other elements in the series. Namely, the action sequences. It is hard to actually take the action scenes seriously. Or even if you can call it as one. With the stiff and jagged animation, the animation during those fight scenes sometimes feel more comical like when Musashi and the monks started fighting knockoff Black Panther ayakashi. I mean, really. ARE THEY DANCING TO SOME PARTY???!!! And sometimes, the bad animation feels like as though they scene is going to glitch. I know, it’s a TV series but you can’t help feel that some pixelated bug will show up. In addition, the action scenes lacks any impact especially when Musashi fires his Gunki. Like, WTF?! Crappy animation making his fire bullet become like some blazing laser beam or something.

And speaking of Musashi’s ability, I remember he had an electrified sword. After the first scene in the first episode whereby he used it for like a few seconds before switching to his gun, HE NEVER USED IT AGAIN!!! EVER!!! OMFG. Is he a samurai or not? Even fighting Kojiro I thought he would at least take out his sword. But nope! Still using his Gunki. What’s your sword for then???!!! Hence in retrospect, thinking about him just carrying that sword feels like it is just as an accessory. Yeah, did the producers actually forget about that? Hopefully he has given up his Gunki at the end but too late. No more episodes so we will never see him use the sword a second time. Yeah, on second thought maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t use it or it’ll be overlapping with Ronin’s sword character. Don’t want that, do we? Da na? And until the end, I never understood what kind of powers Yume had. Like as though she can do a lot of things with her barrier projection but only when the plot calls for it.

The other element being affected by this bad animation is the sound. Uh huh. Sometimes I thought that it was my hardware or sound card that has problems but nope. It’s just this sh*tty anime and its lousy sound quality. Because there are a few instances where the sound doesn’t actually line up with the conversation and everything is like off. The sound effect is also like the worst and sometimes there are times when everything actually goes silent, prompting me to wonder if my audio hardware had problems. And then shortly after, the sound comes back. I don’t know if this was for dramatic effect and boy, it sure threw me off a few times.

I wouldn’t say that the voice acting is bad but like I’ve said, the bad production overshadows everything. Therefore when you have Daisuke Namikawa playing the lead role of Musashi, it’s not that he sucks in playing this samurai but it made me think that this is what Fate series’ Waver sounds like if he is such a comical wuss. Really. Yuu Kobayashi is indeed very recognizable here and doing double roles as Sasuke and Ninjatarou. Brings back the good ol’ days when she used to voice lots of crazy characters because of her crazy voice. It’s one of the very few ‘comforting’ things to know watching this series. And what a surprise I didn’t expect Takahiro Sakurai to make his cameo as Kojiro. Again, I feel because of the bad production, his voice doesn’t really match and suit his character. I mean, this guy can sound gay and effeminate but when you look at Kojiro’s manly ugly face, it just feels weird and turn you off. And then there’s Rei Igarashi as Yasha and Urashima (Diana in Higashi No Eden), she speaks in such a slow and soft voice that I wonder if her character is supposed to be of the sleepy kind. Like as though she isn’t really interested in taking on her character role.

I guess if I had to point out the most interesting voice acting, it would be Shiro Saito as Ryougen (Jogorou in Sankarea) because this dude really makes his character a comic relief. The more you hear this guy, the more you want to laugh and for me, I think I just wanted to hear more from him rather than all the other characters! Rest of the other casts are Jin Horikawa as Ronin (Tetsuya Onodera in Super Robot Wars OG), Shiho Kawaragi as Kaguya (Megu in Rozen Maiden), Chie Nakamura as Yume (Sakua in Naruto), Mayumi Yanagisawa as Desperado (Iwasaki in Oku-sama Wa Joshi Kousei), Kousei Hirota as Da Vinci (Genzou in Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens) and Sayaka Kinoshita as Yukimura (Kaname in Strawberry Panic).

Because of the amateurish dialogue, it is one reason why I can say that I understand half of the entire dialogue (or at least 3/5 of it to be modest). I guess there were stuffs being explained and ‘higher’ Japanese vocab being used to explain stuffs but oh well, at this rate… Anyway, what I want to say is that by this point you should notice the obvious trademark catchphrase that once belonged to Ronin. Da na? Am I right? Uh huh. So ‘catchy’ that even the other characters start taking after him. Da na? Towards the end of the series, I think they want to prolong the episode and fill in some time so they even have conversations about this catchphrase! Da na?! As far as I remember, 2 instances! Da na?! Likes, are there no other stuffs that they can talk about?! So much so that at one point Ronin just tried to change his catchphrase to “Ah, sou…” much to the chagrin of others but in no time, he’ll revert back to his old ways. That’s the way to go, da na? Sheesh…

The opening and ending themes are all rock based. Not really suitable for this kind of series unless it like Naruto. Yeah, it feels weird and out of place having such rock music being played but whatever. So you have Ghost Busterz by Ultra Brain (don’t be fooled by its name, it is nothing as epic as the epic American theme – this one has just lots of noise and unruly heavy metal voices trying to sound American) as the first opening and Glitter by Phantasmagoria as the second. Then we have Style by Kimeru as the first ending theme and Tsuyairo No Hikari by Ai Aoyama as the second one. The latter plays to a slower tune but ultimate it is still a rock piece. You can tell how lazy and poor quality this production when they don’t even change the animation for both the opening and ending credits! Same recycled animation! Why the f*ck do they even need to change the song, huh? Will that change our outlook? Didn’t. Da na?

And of course it goes without saying that I have to mention that damn ‘trademark’ song of the series that Kaguya and Yume often sing! They spam it as much as they can as the series reaches the homestretch. OMG. I think I can’t get that song out of my head! I’m humming it as I am writing this line!!! OMFG!!!! I don’t think it is that catchy in the first place but honestly it still sounds slightly (in the loosest term) better than the other theme songs. I don’t know, this song kinda reminds me of one of those BGMs in Inu Yasha. But the mind boggling thing about this song is that if Urashima is actually Kaguya and Yume’s mom, why the f*ck she gets a headache hearing it?! It doesn’t make sense?! Doe she hate this song?! I mean, it’s not that bad… Yeah… And the rest of the BGMs of this series are just weird. You got the ‘dramatic’ kind to the comical kind to practically the weird. And some are just heavy on the bass so be careful not to turn up your volume so high or the bass will kill it.

I don’t even know where to begin with the story of this series. Even right from the very start I was wondering if we were being trolled about the very brief synopsis that states the misadventures of Musashi and his quest to win the love of the beautiful Kaguya. Misadventures, yes. BUT WHERE THE HECK IS HIS LOVE FOR KAGUYA?! Never once in this anime have I seen a nose hair hint that Musashi is actually in love with her. Not one single bit. And throughout the entire series, I can clearly say that whatever actions Musashi did, he never did anything to try and impress her. Nothing. So it made me wonder if they even forgot about this and started to deviate and write whatever they could think of as they go along. So it quickly moved along from a training stint to master Gunki to a journey that has our gang finding the locations of the 7 seals. Yeah, I know it’s pretty lame and dumb but at this point that is what pretty much expected.

There are so many loopholes that could make this series feel like a Swiss cheese but then again, it may be my limited Japanese understanding that prevented me from failing to understand parts that were being explained. A lot of mind boggling stuffs that don’t make sense and raises more questions than answers but in order not to get a major headache and sleepless nights, do what I said that I’ve always do: Laugh it all off! Oh yeah. Feeling a lot better. Having a story this dumb doesn’t make a difference if your smart or stupid, da na? For example, I smell plot convenience ever since Urashima came into existence. Because this guy (or woman in the end as revealed) wants to help Musashi and gang retrieve the seals. In some instances, Urashima actually gets the seal out from the castle herself!!! Without the need of Musashi to actually get it in person? So why the f*cking need does Urashima need Musashi anyway?! Why teleport them to there in the first place? She could have just gone in and get the seals herself if her ultimate goal was to revive her beloved?! Wouldn’t that be so much faster?! Not sure if Urashima was trying to be dramatic on purpose since she did break the fourth wall once. Got to entertain us folks patient enough watching this crap. Da na?!

And now on to the characters. They’re all just freaking irredeemable and fail. Thanks to bad production once more. To think that Musashi is the my-pace kinda guy, I think he really sucks as a main character. To think that all he wanted was to get his hands on Gunki but this leads him on a wild goose chase in obtaining the 7 seals across Japan. And what happens in the end? He throws away his Gunki! Damn, should’ve thrown it away much earlier assuming if it was this easy to get rid of the demon within! Serious! So Musashi is Musashi only because he is the main character. And Ronin is his sidekick just because Batman needs Robin and Holmes needs Watson. Just saying. I don’t really understand why Yume’s role is to protect Musashi. Something about her dreams I don’t understand, but I guess they need a hot Japanese chick in the group. Why was she imprisoned in the first place? Don’t know. Don’t care. Desperado feels wasted because it was never really explained or fleshed out why her dad was killed or even who killed him. Musashi says it wasn’t him so… What now? Like as though they had this character in hopes that in the future they can add some story to her character but sadly, nope. And so we got this British lady turning easily putting aside her revenge just to become part of Musashi’s groupie all because Yume says so. Okay girl. Whatever you say. And yeah, they need some busty chick who can flaunt her cleavage for you horny guys out there. Can’t stop horniness no matter how bad the production! Da na?!

Kaguya and Yume from the moon? Moon people? Uhm… So what? Does it really matter? Sasuke and Ninjatarou being ninja clones, don’t really understand or give a sh*t about how they are one and diverged with that time-space continuum crap thingy. I guess that’s why they had the same voice actor along with Yasha and Urashima. Ninjatarou exists so that we can play the running joke of others miscalling his name for something else. Then he blows his top to correct them but then rinse and repeat this because it’s so crappy amusing. Da na? Thank goodness they somehow merged because one crappy ninja is enough. Though, Sasuke is a way better ninja than Ninjatarou, he still pretty much sucks and a failure. Seriously. Danjou, seriously, this guy is Kaguya’s bodyguard? He is pretty plain so they had to make a running joke of him being scared of the dark or being alone or something like that. Uh huh. That somehow gives him character. Not that we care. Da na? Da Vinci? I’m surprised he didn’t make a helicopter here considering he created a freaking teleportation device!

Some characters didn’t even matter. Like Goemon. Why the f*ck does he need to even appear? And after that cameo stint, what happened to him?! I assume he died since he didn’t get out of the slime. He’s just freaking forgettable. Same thing for Hideaki. I assume this guy died too since the demon got the better of him. It’s a good thing that the demon didn’t get us watching this crap because we’ll all uncontrollable laugh our ass till kingdom come! Da na?! What happened to Hidetada? So he just dropped his revenge against Kaguya like that? Okay. Don’t spend your life trying to seek meaningless revenge. Yukimura? Damn, this character is missing for the latter half and just when you thought they forgot all about her, here she comes back empty-handed! Hey, at least they didn’t forget about her! Kojiro? Why does Musashi hate her so much? Some promise they made? I guess we’ll never know. Not that we want to at this point.

And yeah, they tried to fit in some cheesy romance too like Desperado x Ronin but that was just short and never happened. I don’t know if it was just a short fling because at the end, she didn’t travel with him and it’s like she is staying with Kaguya. I mean, what’s her purpose now?! And then there’s Danjou x Kaguya and is only played for laughs because why not. And Kojiro x Musashi? I don’t even want to think about it! Having did all that, it’s such a waste they didn’t even try to make it look like Musashi got a harem. Kaguya, Yume and Desperado could all just somehow played one episode of silly fanservice harem but I guess we’re too caught up in bad production to even make it go from bad to worse. Phew? Da na?

However, I have to admit that the ‘best’ character is Ryougen! Da na?! This guy might not be very likeable at first but as the series goes on, you’ll start to notice that he will descend into some jokey and comic relief character. Like as though they wanted to write his character that way. It all started when he started visiting his younger self at the castle of illusions. That’s where he descended and start becoming an ‘interesting’ dude. This guy is more amusing than all of Musashi’s group put together! Da na! Seriously, I think they forgot about the initial plot of him wanting to marry Kaguya for her powers or something, so he got bored and drifted to something else. Yeah, whatever happened to him playing weird tag with young women and sucking their vitality? Once you get to know this guy, he is pretty harmless and funny himself, making weird jokes and the likes. You can’t really hate this guy even if you want to! Only bad production could! Da na?! This guy may be a wuss and pussy (even sounds gay at times) so it was really strange for Ryougen and Urashima to have their boss fight a few episodes before the end only to end in a draw. I guess they needed some other plot twist. In the end, become the next ruler of Japan seems like a long forgotten dream and all he wants is just to live for the moment and have fun. That’s the spirit! No wonder this guy became a manzai comedian with Da Vinci and I believe he would be more successful as one in the future! You can bet on that! Da na! So becoming an ayakashi wasn’t a waste after all, huh?

Overall, this anime is definitely bad and the worst as said before and doing so has made me into a broken recorder. My only dilemma now is whether to really classify this series as the worst anime of the year. Yeah, it’s so bad that it’s good that I didn’t really have a bad time and was enjoying every freaking second out of it. LOL all the way. Hey, the good news is that it is bad enough that nothing can get lower than this, RIGHT?! CAN IT?! We’ll just have to wait and see… Bad production so bad that it turned the entire series into one big hilarious joke that even a simpleton like me could laugh his ass off! No wonder this series has also developed some sort of cult following and maybe because of that, they didn’t want to fix things up because the original is so sinfully bad that it’s good. I don’t know where I saw it online but I read Kaguya’s horse is a popular fan favourite character of the series?! SERIOUSLY?! Oh man. We might be losing our minds to the demon that lives in this anime… Perhaps in another timeline this series was actually decent and had top quality production that made it one of the best animes ever?! Unfortunately for us, we got this super ultra mega hyper Z-grade production. It couldn’t be more fitting for me watching this at the tail end of year 2020. What a way to end the strange year. Hey, it could’ve been a lot worse than this, da na?

Wait a minute!!! This had a sequel?! A third season, nonetheless?! I didn’t really think that it would be possible to have a continuation seeing the second season last aired back in 2015! I mean, can we even remember what freaking happened for the past 2 seasons?! And for Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru Kan to come out 5 years later, it might seem like a long time in anime years, but I guess some wise guy thought that this series needed find its much needed closure and hence like in its title suggest, hopefully this will just end this freaking drama that seriously most of us have no clue what is going on nor remember. Yeah. Yahallo again!

Episode 1
Do we still remember Yukino’s request? Don’t worry. Me neither. So I guess she talks it out with Hikigaya and Yui. Some sarcasm. Don’t really get it. Oh boy. This first episode is really going to be a heavy one for me already… So anyway Yukino tells what’s going on on her side. From what I understand, her mom decides everything. EVERYTHING. Yukino can’t do that because of the existence of Haruno. Mom tied Haruno down and told Yukino only to do what she needed to do. That’s why she doesn’t know how to conduct herself. Since Haruno will succeed the family, the parents feared telling her what she needed to hear even if that’s not what she wanted. Hence Yukino is going to start by clarifying things with her. Only then she can get started. Next day, Hikigaya sees Saki doting on her little sister, Keika in a café. They spot him and now Keika doesn’t want to be doted by her. So I guess Hikigaya is invited to treat them? They talk about stuffs like her brother, Taishi taking the exams or something. Then Komachi joins in. It’s truly a love-hate relationship since she keeps can’t stop teasing big brother of the scumbag he is and saying it all with a big happy smile. So funny that it even makes Saki laugh. Hikigaya and Komachi then shop for groceries before returning home. More little sister mockery. But then she gets very serious as she prostrates before him just to give him a sincere thanks from the bottom of her heart for all that he has done for her. So serious that Hikigaya has water coming out from his eyes! You mean tears? I’m sure he’s confused about little Komachi now all growing up. Not as confused as I am watching this first damn episode!

Episode 2
So Haruno invites them in. Then she starts drinking, probably a sign that she isn’t really interested in hearing out Yukino but whatever, she’ll listen anyway. So Yukino expresses she wants to talk about their future with mom. Knowing that she is a stubborn woman, even if she fails to change her mind, she doesn’t want to have regrets. Haruno agrees to help out and will try to set them to meet, though success not guaranteed. But by doing this, it can be safely assume that she will have to go back and live with mom for a while. So start packing your bags. So as Yui helps her do so, Haruno goes to flirt with Hikigaya while talking about of course Yukino. Haruno doesn’t care for all that stuffs. She’ll support her sister whatever choices she makes. And yeah, she hopes Hikigaya to also look out for her. Next day in the clubroom, Iroha comes to set up a mini expensive projector just to play some fancy drama. Apparently this is reference because for this year’s graduation ceremony, she also wants to do a prom like how overseas high schools do. She claims it’s because she wants to become a prom queen. So that means Hayato is the prom king? She tries to change the subject about Hikigaya getting held back by a year. Anyway, holding a prom is quite hard so they question her about really wanting to do it. Yes, she still wants to. Hence Yukino questions her real intention. She will be prom queen in 2 years even if she doesn’t lay the groundwork now so why the rush? Seems she wants to lay the foundations for her next move. That’s why she has to do it this year because by next year, there won’t be enough time. Yukino agrees to help her since this would also be some sort of early preparation for her to be ready in time. However she doing this on her own personal accord and for Hikigaya and Yui, they can help out when she needs them. While everything looks happy and settled, something looks like bugging Yui. Because that time she helped Yukino packed, she uncovered a secret photo of Yukino and Hikigaya together on a ride. So this is her treasured photo? Anyway it made Yui heartbroken despite knowing it for a long time. So all that is the reason why she never wanted anything real? I don’t get it and we’re already at the end of the second episode…

Episode 3
Hikigaya sees Saki rushing out of the classroom. He follows her and it seems the results of the entrance exams are out. Komachi passes. Little sister can’t stop crying. So I guess this means Taishi is also in. How does Hikigaya-senpai sound? And then when Yui comes to further congratulate Komachi, she cries harder. WTF. Iroha seeks Hikigaya’s help since Yukino might be exerting herself. But first, she teases him about being a siscon and all. With Yui, they help plan out the prom. While making some preparations, it seems Iroha made some mistake and she feels really bad about it especially asking others to do a lot more than they’re supposed to do. They also have a mock rehearsal in which they really get dressed up to have a feel on how the prom is going to be like. Yukino dressing up in a male tuxedo while Iroha in a dress, damn this pretty couple is sure turning heads. Hikigaya goes to get Yui for the group photo but sees Saki still doing the hem of her dress. Then Yui puts on some makeup and dolls herself up. Has she ever looked this pretty before? After recording a video of the dance, it looks like the dancing of Yukino and Iroha was stiff and as though they’re in a hardcore competition. To give a more relaxed atmosphere, they decide to focus on Hikigaya and Yui. Ballroom dancing not easy. Both of them sweating. And when the music changes to a livelier one, everybody starts dancing casually and free style. Having fun? While Hikigaya has a gist to what this prom spirit feels like, he realizes it’s not his style. I hope I’m getting somewhere. I think. It’s already the end of the third one…

Episode 4
Uploading videos of the prom online, it generated some positive buzz. After Iroha has them select some pics of the prom to upload, Yukino then dismisses them as their help is no longer needed. Hence Yui accompanies Hikigaya to go buy Komachi a present. So this is to ask about their childhood dream? While Hikigaya sounds like he has jobs that rakes in the cash, for Yui, it would be a bride. Is that a flag for something? The real problem begins as the next day Iroha ushers the duo into the office. Why, it’s Haruno and mom here. To put it shortly, there are objections from the PTA regarding the prom despite those dissatisfied are just the minority. Can’t dismiss opinions of the minority, can you? No matter how Iroha argues, she is shut down. Hikigaya now understands how scary mom is despite putting on the sweetest smile. You can’t fight this woman with logic. He asks the school’s opinion so Hiratsuka suggests having intermittent discussions rather than calling it off suddenly. After mom leaves, the rest discuss about this and it looks like if the kids want to continue doing this prom thing in the future, don’t get Hiratsuka involve. It is hinted something big but she can’t say yet as it is not yet official. The topic shifts to what Yukino wants to do. She wants to convince the dissatisfied in future meetings. However she wants to do this alone and when Hikigaya and Yui want to help because they’re friends, Haruno has to draw the line that there are things she has to do alone. It might help in changing mom’s impression. Even more so Yukino admitting she doesn’t want to be further useless by relying any more on her friends. What a weird way to put it. Later Haruno asks Hikigaya about their relationship and she laughs when he actually says love triangle. But the correct answer is co-dependency and not trust. Later, there are rumours that the school might cancel the prom. Hikigaya calls Hiratsuka about this and since he wants to know more details now, she tells him that it is Yukino’s wish to not tell them. Eventually, Hikigaya still wants to help because of his promise to save her. He could have been torn since Yui is crying. I don’t think those are tears of relief but after he leaves, Yui continues her crying and more depressing monologue about her own selfishness and powerlessness to stop it all herself, pushing everything onto others. You people still get what’s happening by the end of the fourth already…?

Episode 5
Hiratsuka tells Hikigaya that the school is telling students to refrain from further planning. This discouragement basically means they’re trying to cancel it. Then they talk about how this affects Yukino and what Hikigaya is going to do about it. One thing, he doesn’t intend to disassociate with her. When Hikigaya makes his way to the student council room, Iroha is seen waiting and trying to prevent him from entering. Then she takes him elsewhere to talk about it. From what I understand, she knows there is a high chance of Yukino rejecting Hikigaya’s offer to help but he remains adamant of wanting to do so because it is his responsibility. He feels he started it all and wants to do what it takes to set it right. So the duo enter the room as Yukino takes a break from her planning to talk to them. Seeing what Yukino is up against, Hikigaya believes the problem is figuring out the suitable terms to negotiate. Yukino’s roadmap might have worked if this was normal circumstances. Since it is not, this ‘loophole’ has Hikigaya believing he can intervene. He has some objection against some methods that Yukino proposed. Though, he assures her he is just moving as she instructed him. It is no different than before. Of course Yukino fears this will end up relying on him, something that she is trying to do away. After Hikigaya blurts out he wants to save her, he won’t sit still and let things be. This means he is going to do things his own way. As per the rules of the Service Club, if there is a disagreement, a showdown is initiated to see who can do more service. So now this becomes a competition to see who can do better. Yukino adds the loser must do as the winner says. I suppose I’m just like Iroha, unsure of what is going on, super confused and feeling so irritated. And what’s this responsibility thingy again? Whatever. As long as the prom is on, she’s okay. As Iroha leaves, she thought she saw Yukino crying. Sure she didn’t put extra eye drops?

Episode 6
Iroha feels bad that all this problem started because she wanted a prom. You regretting it now? Hikigaya talks to her to find out the real reason why she insists of having it. Partly it is Hiratsuka transferring out and so she wanted to let her go with a bang. This in turn led her think that she too wants to give her friends a proper send off. She claims she is eventually doing it for herself as she doesn’t want to have regrets. Later Hikigaya talks to Yui and tells her of that competition with Yukino that resulted from then. Then he discusses with her his plan to create a bias view for the school. Essentially, creating something that is far worse than the prom that they have to go with the prom idea. There is a chance they might reject both but Hikigaya doesn’t think so. If the school was so going to cancel it, they wouldn’t have told students to voluntarily not to participate. Hence they have to create something bad but is also legit. The problem is they lack time and manpower. Hikigaya calls over Zaimokuza, Saika and Saki. I’m sure they’re confused about Hikigaya’s anti-prom plan to have a prom. With Saiki reminding Hikigaya to explain properly and the reason why he wants to do it, Hikigaya admits he couldn’t care less about the prom but is doing it to help Yukino. That’s why he wants it to happen. Saika and Saki have commitments so they can’t freely lend a hand. Zaimokuza however will help and you bet he is going to get some manpower by tomorrow. Hikigaya and Yui then rent an internet café to do more research. Cue for Yui to pretend to sleep on Hikigaya’s shoulder as once more that narration about the happy times she wishes it would never end but reality has it that it is going to end very soon. She hopes her lie will become a reality and hopefully this relationship will come to a proper end. Basically, DON’T LET IT END! Yui being Yui selfish of course…

Episode 7
Zaimokuza introduces Hatano and Sagami from the gaming club as extra help. You surprised this nerd has friends? At first they have doubts about the things that they are going to do but after hearing how Hikigaya puts up with all the selfishness of Iroha, I think they’re in. So they get things started on the fake plan that they are going to do and make it sound convincing. Yui suggests Kaihin since they have done collaborations with them so having a joint seaside prom. Hikigaya and Yui then go to see Tamanawa and Kaori. Tamanawa rejects their proposal because it is too abstract. Then it descends into a rap battle?! WTF?! I don’t understand what is going on but seeing them doing so is just hilarious! Eventually Hikigaya loses. Going back to the gang, they then discuss the website they are going to use and Zaimokuza comes up with a name for it: The Saiko Project. Later Hikigaya spots Yukino and he goes talk to her as they catch up on things. And then here comes Yui. That look in her face… Does she have to make it so dramatic and sad because it’s only been days that they haven’t seen each other and she’s like hugging and saying they should do all sorts of things together once this ends. Yeah, might as well marry her! Hikigaya can only watch and his only hope after seeing this pseudo lesbian seeing is to not make any screw ups.

Episode 8
Hikigaya talks to Hayato for help. He understands the dummy plan but due to circumstances, he can’t help. Hikigaya and Yui have Ebina and Yumiko take pictures of themselves on the beach so this can be used as their wallpaper for their website. End result looks good. Hikigaya then needs someone to leak this and thinks Haruno is perfect for this job. Though she can easily do it, she finds it baffling he is going all out to help Yukino despite she doesn’t want his help. Hikigaya claims he is doing it for self-satisfaction but all Haruno thinks the best is for them just to not do anything and watch over her. Yui disagrees because nothing changes if you don’t do something. That’s why they need to properly bring this to an end. Even if it’s not the ending Yukino wants? Next day, Hiratsuka calls for Hikigaya seems someone is looking for him. It’s Yukino’s mom and she can tell Hikigaya is the one who came up with this dummy plan. She finds it executed poorly. Hiratsuka shows a few options they can go over because if the prom is cancelled, there will be some students who will rebel so it is wise to have some plans they have some influence over. Mom understands but isn’t sure if she can convinced the rest of the group. This is when Hikigaya realizes it isn’t her he is fighting against so he tries to make her use her influence to try and convince her group otherwise. Even going as far as to somewhat remind her that it was him whom her car banged into quite some time ago and injured his leg. Next we see Haruno talking to Hayato about this co-dependency thingy and later to Yui on the same topic. Yui disagrees with her co-dependency concept because it hurts so much? Now we see Hikigaya talking to Yukino. Both trying to admit the other has won. Until she gets honest about feeling comfortable spending time with other people that it made her happy. Something about she had no idea to rely on others and made a mistake somewhere. This fake relationship is wrong but it’s okay since he helped her. That’s why this competition and relationship will end with this. Hikigaya admits his loss and will do what Yukino says. Her wish is for Yui’s wish to be granted. And she hopes this will be the correct ending. Yukino then goes to talk to Yui that it looks like the prom will be held all thanks to them. The help that she relied on. But now all that is over now. Oh boy, Yui getting that sinking feeling again.

Episode 9
More Hikigaya-Yui conversation. He asks her about her wishes and she has many of them. Not sure if this is a joke or serious but what he wants to talk to her about is the competition that he lost. Yui thinks that was only because it was arbitrary and because of his habit of saying he’ll do things to the best of his abilities when in actual fact he can’t, it somewhat pushes himself to do it until it works. After the prom, Yui hopes they can do something together because she too wants to grant his wish. With tomorrow’s prom technical rehearsal on the cards, but today Hikigaya isn’t free to help out. Because of his plan to make a cake for Komachi, Yui invites him to her house for some ideas. Yui’s mom wants to join in. Yui doesn’t want a third wheel but since Hikigaya insists, perhaps mom’s input will do some good. So they decide on the kind of cake they want to make, go buy some ingredients and make some. So easy. At the end of the day, seems Hikigaya has made some for Yui too as thanks. His monologue tells us if he could only live out his days like this and grant all of her wishes one by one. I think he has to be an immortal for it to turn out like that… Now we return to the graduation ceremony, speeches given by representatives that will turn the most badass guy into tears. Once that is done, time to focus on the prom.

Episode 10
The committee delegate the roles for the prom. Hikigaya will be in charge of the sound since everyone including himself agrees he won’t be suited for reception. Iroha is also with him. Not sure but I’m thinking she is baiting him about some flirting but he’s not buying into it. The prom gets underway. Hikigaya gets to dance with Yui. However she feels sad the next one will be the last. Then talking to Yukino, she expects him to grant her wish soon. Don’t you dare ruin this. After the prom, the committee celebrates. Yukino’s mom comes in to praise a good job she did. When Yukino expresses interest to continue dad’s job, everyone waits with baited breath if this is going to turn ugly. Surprisingly mom will support her if this is the career path she wants to take. Later Haruno talks to the trio and it seems she cannot accept this. After all that has happened, she just can’t give up her position just like that. So if they really want to end this, they have to satisfy her too. The trio then contemplate about their time in the Service Club. When Iroha comes in to clean up, Hikigaya takes his leave. Yukino takes this chance to thank him for his help. Weird scene of her tugging his shirt. Weird hand action from him trying to let her go. Weird stare. Hikigaya goes to see Haruno to confirm her intentions. Haruno actually doesn’t care about the family or who does what. All she wants is for him to give her some sort of ending that she can be satisfied with. It is obvious mother didn’t accept this either because she didn’t outright accept or reject. The wish she made was nothing but an act of compensation and they just reworded it just to deceive themselves and avoided looking at reality. She knows it because she’s done her fair share of deceiving. In fact, her entire life is a deception. Later Hiratsuka hangs out with Hikigaya. Essentially she is telling him that the relationship between the trio is more than that and cannot be just summarized into a single co-dependency word.

Episode 11
And the word Hiratsuka sums up for all the words that could describe them: Love. Yeah, that would make sense. I think. Next, Hikigaya’s conversation with Yui. He thinks it’s time for it all to end. In that case, she can tell him her wish. But first, he mentions about something he can’t accept. Something about Yukino if she compromised something to accept this, this is something that won’t do for him. He fears of being unable to associate with her if he gives up on this. Yui tells one of her wishes, something about wanting for Yukino to be part of this. I guess the tears come late for Yui. Because only when she arrives him, she starts bawling out. Oh, mom is such a good shoulder to provide. Next day, it seems Iroha is interrogating Zaimokuza and team about this dummy prom. She would’ve loved to go for Hikigaya himself but it seems he is right now been called to do explain himself by Yukino’s mom. From what I understand, Hikigaya thinks this dummy prom can be way better than the one they did. Haruno disagrees with going ahead with this since it will negate all their efforts that have led to the permission of holding that prom. Even there is no time, money or manpower left, Hikigaya thinks this still can be pulled off. Of course he is asking for help from Yukino. Mom gives Yukino the option to decide. With this obvious bait, Yukino accepts Hikigaya’s help. Later, a long conversation between Hikigaya and Yukino. Yukino not pleased he hasn’t grant Yui’s wish but he mentions Yui’s wish of having Yukino part of it. Something about their hopeless communications skills, this kind of relationship Hikigaya finds it hard to maintain, damn what’s going on? And what’s this about Hikigaya wants the privilege to mess up her life? As if her life hasn’t been messed up enough. It sounds like a proposal that he’ll give her anything and everything just to be part of her life. With all that’s being said (fancily), I guess Yukino relents and gives him permission to come into her life and make a bigger mess out of it. Oh boy. Is this heading where I think it’s heading?

Episode 12
Hikigaya and Yukino continue to discuss about the prom. They think the seaside location is good and will go recce tomorrow. And we see them there, getting a little distracted taking pictures of themselves and being a bit conscious about it. And also a wedding nearby… Is this some sort of foreshadowing? You can tell the preparations are going well when all the characters now chip in to help. Of course, save the best for last, here’s Yui to help too. While setting up the place, Iroha tries to bait Yui to do something irreversible to Hikigaya because that guy loves taking responsibilities, right? Yeah, responsibility freak. Then there’s Komachi who wants to call Iroha her big sister so is this a hint of who she wants her sister-in-law? Of course it’s just a joke. The prom is ready to go, Yukino’s mom ‘warns’ Yukino that there will be flurry of complaints coming in after this. Not even she can take her side when that happens. Don’t worry. Yukino will take responsibility of it all! The prom goes well although you could say the ‘staffs’ are overworked. But it was a memorable one. We have Hiratsuka talking to Hikigaya about things. Some embarrassing things. Including a failed dance that has them trip over each other. I guess this is essentially an official goodbye between them? Hikigaya returns to Yukino who throws him a lot of clean up tasks. But I guess there’s one not him and nobody else could see: Yukino confesses she loves him! OMG! DID WE WAIT THE ENTIRE SEASON, NO, THE WHOLE SERIES FOR THIS???!!!?!?!?!?!?!?! So awkward she even runs away… Probably Hikigaya needs to think of something to say for that in the future… In school as the new season starts, Hikigaya continues to discuss with Yukino. When she hints he should come to her place for dinner because mom also wants to get to know him… Komachi is now officially in this school. She also wants to join Service Club but the duo claim the club is no more and not recruiting. She’s not worried. Because Iroha has approved the existence of it. But will they have anything to do? Oh, soon. Because Yui comes in with a need for advice. The person she likes has someone that seems like she’s his girlfriend who is also her best friend. How can they continue to be best friends forever? Let’s sit down and have a long talk about this…

My Depressing Teen Romantic Tragedy Has Ended… Words, Don’t Come Easy…
Oh God. Is it over? I hope so. I don’t know how much more I can take it. Going in one ear and coming out the other. Must be tough being a simpleton. So just to check, aside our main characters pulled off something good. Not necessarily something that could change the world but something good enough to be considered an achievement by their own standards. Then a confession that we’ve all been waiting for. And finally the dilemma of wanting to stay friends with the person who is dating your crush. Isn’t that simple? You just continue being friends like always! Even easier because this is anime so it is definitely more possible than in real life! So I don’t really see what all the fuss Yui is worried about stopped being friends. Haven’t they been that for this whole entire time?! I don’t think they were ever at war the slightest. So what’s the problem?! And if those feelings are greater, then just aim for a harem route! Gosh. My advices. No wonder I’m not in the Service Club.

Seriously even as I am writing this, I fail to understand what the whole story of this season is about. Forget about the whole story of the series. I can’t even get past the plot for this season. Forgive me if I am dead wrong because seriously, I don’t really, really, really understand what really happened. Sure, you can suggest of going back to watch the first 2 seasons. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!! I don’t want to bring back the trauma of not understanding further and in the process making myself even more confused. Uh huh. I’m going to give the sh*ttiest excuse that there is no rewatching value for this series! So go ahead, blame my faulty memory for not understanding what has happened for the past 2 seasons and then went ahead to give the wrong opinions for this third season. Sighs. Can we end this and give this series a rest?

So from what I understand so far, Yukino is having some sort of problem. The problem of relying for help on others and she fears if that becomes a habit, she’ll become a useless person and that’s a no-no. You see, one of the problems that I find watching this series is that the way they portray or say about some issue, it sounds like it is totally serious. Something that is dangerous and will have grave consequences if not handled properly. From what I can see so far, it feels like all these issues were just exaggerated and blown out of the water! Maybe everybody’s such adept in handling the situation and avoiding it from becoming national level security threat or something. But the point is, I fail to see how serious the problem is that it would really cause irreversible damaging effects in the future. So like in Yukino’s case, I understand she wants to be independent and do things on her own. But may I remind her that she lives in a society and no man (or woman) is an island. Hence directly or indirectly, she still has to rely on something. Yeah, to take my point to the extreme, you need electricity to run power for the prom. So is she going to the deep sea offshore rigs to drill for petroleum and turn them into power so she could run the prom? Or you have skilled professionals to do that for you? See what I’m trying to say here?

Considering holding the prom sounded like the biggest issue and plot we have for this season, eventually it came and go without anything interesting to boot! They make the prom sound like the biggest subject and the problem that must be tackled within this season. Turns out it is not. Okay, perhaps the prom isn’t the actual thing that we are supposed to focus on (Yukino’s problem and how Hikigaya goes about it, Yui’s problem and how Hikigaya goes about it, I guess) so when it was all over in an instant, I was like, that’s it? It doesn’t sound so bad having this prom, huh? Maybe it is because we didn’t see all the fuss and protest behind the scenes from those damn PTA. I thought it would’ve ramped up some much needed drama for this boring and draggy season even if it looked so out of place. But I guess that area is not for Hikigaya and friends to go and touch. Leave it to mom and sis to go smoothen it out. Just hold your prom, that’s it. And it’s mind boggling that the dummy prom, did Hikigaya just add more to the complication by wanting to go ahead with it? I thought this was done and dusted? Is this some elaborated and subtle way to further help Yukino or something?

And then they try to paint Yukino’s mom as some sort of terrible person whom you have to tread carefully or else she’ll eat your head off. Okay. I’m exaggerating but that was the impression I got about her at first. Then as I watch her converse with Hikigaya, she isn’t as bad as a person as I thought she would be. Maybe it’s all about subtlety. A simpleton like me couldn’t possibly detect the ‘threat’ in her kind and polite tone of her voice. Thankfully there are no incidents so, so far so good? They also paint Yukino’s family of having some problem. At least, something between the parents and daughters and something about succession. I know every family has their own quirky problems. But looking at Yukino’s (as well as not fully understanding its entirety), it just feels like some sort of elaborated first world problems. I mean, if mom was really a very strict person, I don’t think Yukino would’ve even enrolled in this school in the first place. Yeah, something I’m missing here but at this point I don’t really care.

Then there is Haruno too. I don’t know if I should classify her as an ally or a villain because she seems pretty ambiguous in her words, body language and all. But maybe I’m wrong in the first place in trying to categorize her as so. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I still don’t really know what she wants. Because of the way she says things, I am unsure if she wants to help Hikigaya or she is against him. Is she for Yukino or against her? Damn, the women in Yukino’s family are sure hard to understand. And just when you thought the problems are solved, here she comes to add more woes to the complication because she wants a satisfying ending. Like, WTF? Is Hikigaya some wish granting machine or something?! I know Hikigaya feels responsible for this mess he created (including why yours truly still don’t get it until today) and she still wants him to do something about it? Oh right. I can understand why fans of certain movie or game franchises who are unhappy with how a certain movie or game came out, want those producers to redo it again till they’re satisfied. I mean, you don’t want to be the only loser who isn’t satisfied while everybody else is pleased, do you? But can Hikigaya satisfy everybody? I’m sure he’ll find a way… I think. And from the way this series ended, was it the ending Haruno wanted? Or is that still work in progress and we totally forgot about it?

So the main complication and what the series is about is the relationship between Hikigaya, Yukino and Yui. I have this feeling that the producers want to confuse us with this elaborated and draggy love triangle. In short, it is just a simple love triangle between the trio but they had to go the extra mile to complicate things with the kind of different words they used and the drama just as to prolong AKA confuse us. Yeah, co-dependency. Nice word. Whatever. I am so co-dependent on my animes! So I understand they value their friendship and breaking the status quo means things can’t stay like this forever. Imagine if Hikigaya officially ends up with one of them. Can this friendship stay the same like it did before? My guess is that it could because it’s Hikigaya we’re talking about. But what does that leave the other girl who lost out? Not good. With all the signs pointing towards Hikigaya x Yukino but at the same time Yui who has a major crush on Hikigaya doesn’t want to hurt Yukino and stay friends with her, that’s why she’s holding back. If there were only the right words for the right occasion… It felt like it was going to be a big thing about Yui’s feelings for Hikigaya but in the end I just don’t see it coming anywhere. Did it happen in some way? Maybe I missed it through all the dialogues. This isn’t an ‘action’ oriented anime, you know. And will death be upon Hikigaya now because he has somewhat become a normie in this messed up romantic comedy joke of a life? Never mind. Forget that embarrassing nonsense I made up.

Many of the other characters here do not matter. They fall by the wayside like as though they never existed but I believe that is for the better because they don’t want to distract us from the Hikigaya-Yukino-Yui drama. So fans of Hayato, Saika, Saki, Ebina and everybody else, so sorry that they just feel irrelevant here. Even Zaimokuza has his 2 minutes of fame but that itself feels very miniscule. Iroha taking the biggest share of the minor supporting characters this season. I feel they needed some sort of cheeky girl to tease Hikigaya and that’s what I see her role. Same case for Komachi but to a lesser degree. Sometimes, Hikigaya’s cue to give his mini sarcastic comeback or something. Not that I really understand it at this point. And Hiratsuka moving away or something, is that supposed to be something major? It sounded like one but eventually I feel that fizzled out. I mean, what else could you do about it?

Megumi No Ame by Nagi Yanagi as the opening theme sounds pretty generic to me. But the weirdest part I find is watching the girls doing a very weird short dance in the prom! I don’t know, I find that pretty weird because seeing that seems to make my hair stand on ends. Definitely nowhere near Gangnam Style material. And with a big chunk of the opening credits animation focusing having this prom theme, the reason why I initially said a few paragraphs earlier that I thought the prom was going to be this season’s ‘storyline theme’. The main ending theme is Diamond No Jundo and is a duet by Yukino and Yui. The original one is a generic anime pop, lively and fast paced. There are also special Yui and Yukino solos to drum up the dramatic effects. Personally, I think their slow and lovely ballad versions sound better. Probably it’s a sign that when the final episode uses the opening theme of the first season, the whole series has already ended for good. Still remember Yukitoki by Nagi Yanagi? No? Me too.

Overall, this third season is still a very hard and frustrating one to watch. Even more so when it concludes everything. Or at least that is what I believe it has. Please, no more sequels ore a reboot or remake of this series! In addition to Yui’s catchphrase, can I say Ya-bye to this series for good? Oh wait. Yabai… Doesn’t haven’t a nice ring to it anyway. Forget it. It takes a very special kind of people or hardcore fans of the series to actually enjoy and appreciate this series because it is very dialogue-y. Lots of talking and very conversation-y. I’m not one of those people as you can already tell. Looking back at my previous blog, looks like my wish of having the sequel to be easily understood was not granted. And even though this is not the kind of ending that I wished for or can be satisfied with, I am still content that it has just simply ended. It’s over. Done. Concluded. Finish. Owari. What more other words do you want me to describe that? Ya-bye…

Hacka Doll

January 8, 2021

If you think Siri and Alexa aren’t really helpful virtual assistants, then you deserve better. Because living in an era filed with saturated and abundance of information, it is getting tougher to solve and provide the correct solutions. Folks, introducing the personal entertainment AI robots known as Hacka Doll! Yes, these real life sized androids are programmed to solve your every need and help advance humanity. Just download them and they’ll pop out from your screen to offer their undivided attention and help. Try it! You won’t regret it! Oh, you’re still not convinced? Then check out this anime as a form of testimonial to see how useful they are. You’ll definitely be left with wonderment and amazement. Nothing can beat these babies. That’s what you call service and you’ll be calling more of their assistance in no time. Definitely.

Episode 1
As narrated, due to the immense amount of info, people have a tough time finding the correct one. Hence, the creation of the programme called Hacka Doll to help with that need. However Hacka Doll #0 is very disappointed with #1, #2 and #3. They are practically useless! Their low scores practically tell everything. So in order to have them earn their keep, they are sent down to Earth and must help humans to advance. And so this curious girl who downloaded the app, it’s the start of her nightmare. Yeah, the Hacka Doll trio just pop up before her for real and then they start performing some component analysis which is some sort of a scan to determine one’s likes and dislikes. Feeling violated with that unauthorized scan? They make a few risqué suggestions before stumbling into her core yaoi BL sketchbook! They want to help her but she doesn’t appreciate it. Even more so she learns they aren’t full fledge Hacka Dolls and they are begging for her to advance so they can be one! Later, #1 thinks of buying oden for her and force feeding her. Of course it is too hot and it burns them both. I don’t think eating it is considered as advancing…

Episode 2
A producer is in trouble. Looks like there is an empty slot for an idol concert in his schedule. Oh, if only there was just 1 idol group to fill in that spot. Don’t worry. Hacka Dolls are here! So you mean they want to be the idols instead of introducing another idol? The producer isn’t so sure and #1 is hell bent in bugging him to be one. Oh well. What has he got to lose? Since they have a few days, he has them undergo intensive training. On the day of their debut, as #1 is in the toilet nervous, she could hear others badmouthing about the new group that they won’t get far. #1 feels down but with some words of encouragement from the producer, she’s back on track. Such simple mindedness. Yeah, let’s go make miracles! Hacka Dolls take the stage as they sing a song about cabbage. WTF… Aside the strange music, their dance is also so robotic. The audience isn’t happy… Even the producer… He is so doomed. You know it is so bad that the building collapses! OMFG. #1 thinks she screwed up. However, there is only 1 otaku who is now her fan because somehow it resonates with him. Yeah. #1 so happy. What a miracle indeed.

Episode 3
Looks like the corporate bigwigs are trying to pin the blame on a scapegoat for some bug in some AI programme. Don’t worry. Hacka Dolls are here to fix it! They are being told if only Yama, the genius programmer who made the programme helped but he has holed himself up and refused to do anything. #2 tries some fanservice but looks like he isn’t into her. Yeah, ever since his maid anime ended, he lost all motivation. #1 forces #3 to dress up as one but Yama’s taste is only for 2D. #3 accidentally presses a button that initiates some hacking programme. Yeah, why the f*ck did Yama create it in the first place? Sure, it’s for some rebellion thingy, but seriously, it also has self-destruct capabilities?! Hacka Dolls fail to stop this attack so just unplug the LAN wire for some reprieve. Not sure about this counter attack plan that Yama says but it’s back to more hacking as the AI programme continues its self-destruct countdown. Finally they manage to beat it and as they celebrate, #3 presses another button to continue the self-destruct… Oh dear… BOOM!

Episode 4
Ikuo plays a dating sim but he is pretty cynical about it because it all only happens in a game. Suddenly the game crashes and coming out from his screen is #2. So is she going to help advance his love life? Ikuo is of course surprised at the turn of events. I guess reality is harder than the game because what the heck is he supposed to do now?! Lots of weird interactions and the usual cliché of him slipping and falling on top of her. And then he accidentally spills milk all over her. She takes a bath. Nothing happens. She comes out. More awkwardness. What the heck is going on? Nothing much. I suppose the temptation is too much so now he becomes aggressive and pushes #2 down on the bed. Too bad before anything steamy can happen, they realize #1 and #3 are watching. More accident as Ikuo gets spilled by coffee. When #2 changes, the rest blindfold and tie him up so as not to peek. But then mom just returned and enters his room. WTF is this hentai play???!!! Ikuo and Hacka Dolls are so awkwardly dead as mom lectures them about the lewd play…

Episode 5
You bet #0 is so disappointed with the trio that she is going to do something about it. So she sends the newly created #4 to show them what it means to advance. But you can tell she too is another retard by the way she overdoes things. Meanwhile the trio are working at the convenience store. They were trying to help the owner but as you can see, they screw up. Don’t worry. #4 will show it to them. So we see her going overboard in giving much more than the customers want. And when a little girl wants to see a shooting star… Oh boy… #4 makes a satellite fall from orbit! Amazing. At this point #0 is not amused and throws her at the satellite to return to its orbit. Then all those customers start complaining with all the overboard stuffs and beat up #4 to take responsibility. Now what will happen to the trio? If #0 is cracking her knuckles… Oh no…

Episode 6
#3 goes to toilet to pee and realizes her dick is missing!!! Wait a minute!!! #3 is a guy???!!! I DON’T ACCEPT IT! Anyway, something is wrong with other Hacka Dolls. Due to some bug in the system, all of them have weird parts. It will be fixed by the end of the day but #3 is tasked to help some lonely rich brat. His wish is for her to play with him. And so they have fun the whole day and they even play husband and wife! At the end of the day when the bug is fixed and #3 is to return home, rich kid doesn’t want her to leave. In fact, he is willing to elope with her! Let’s live together forever! Of course she can’t. She can’t say the truth either (that she has a dick?). Is she going to leave him all alone? To help with that, she gives him her ribbon. However he won’t accept it and returns it to her. Hold it until they meet again. That’s a promise. Damn, this episode is heart breaking weird.

Episode 7
Do you love anime? Do you want to work in an anime studio? Yes?! That’s right. You get your chance, #1! And so we see an eager #1 heading off to help an anime studio. You know something is wrong when everyone is so demotivated and overworked… And the episode title is Kurobako… Damn… So #1 won’t be doing anything glamour. Some production assistant who will be coordinating efforts between the various departments. We see her trying her best but as you can see, it soon takes a toll on her. #4 is also here but after that lecture, she goes crazy and runs away! Now #1 has to do her portion!!! More stress and strain for #1 until she is at her low point. Then #2 and #3 pop up to give her some timely morale booster and to also help out. Let’s go full force! Finally it’s done! Yeah, after all that the quality still sucks! However the producers won’t get to send it to the TV station in time. Looks like another recap this week. The third one?! Hacka Dolls will not lose and manage to send it over. Hooray! We’re done! Good job. Now we look forward to your help for the next episode. Oh sh*t… #1 runs away and realizes anime is best enjoyed at home! Damn right. So you people better appreciate your weekly anime!!! Never take it for granted! ALWAYS!!!

Episode 8
A girl named Kirara is running away from shady people. She calls for help but here is Hacka Dolls! It seems Kirara is an alien and wants to return to her mothership above. Because Hacka Dolls accidentally crush her translation device, you bet they’re going to be lost in translation. Hence they think she wants to hang out and bring her shopping and sightseeing. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And so Kirara enjoys her time with them as they have fun. Even trying out the super delicious ramen! Then she sees the Skytree tower and thinks that place is high enough to communicate with the mothership. There, it seems the MIB and #4 are the ones chasing Kirara under orders of NASSA (not typo error!) to capture her. #4 messes up, allowing the rest to head to the rooftop so Kirara summons her mothership to pick her up. Kirara is grateful for Hacka Dolls’ help and reveals she is a princess of her planet but got separated from her group during a tour on Earth. She pecks #1’s check, a sign of goodwill from her planet and will never forget their time with them. Yeah, unforgettable ramen… She turns into her true form, a pig. So cannibalism, if you get what I mean?! Up she goes and somehow #4 gets suck into the mothership as well.

Episode 9
Hacka Dolls log into the online game of SQO (Sword Quest Online) to help a guy named Yuuto log out. Yeah, this guy has been playing the game for so long he hasn’t come out of his room and his family is worried. But there’s a reason for that. He is in the clutches of his guild’s strongest warrior, Kazuya and until he obtains a rare item, he can’t log out. Hack Dolls join him on his journey to get the rare item but it seems #4 has beat them to it. Furthermore, Kazuya is actually #4’s sub account. Hacka Dolls are defeated easily and soon Yuuto too. But don’t fear. With the power of his family logging in, Yuuto gets back up to fight back. So he has the Hack Dolls’ head as his sword? The action abruptly ends so I guess we have to believe in Yuuto to save the world!

Episode 10
Hotspring episode! Time for some real fanservice! Oh yeah! But soon it turns into a murder mystery! A cliché one! The murder leaves a note saying he will kill 1 of them at midnight. What great timing for the inspector to be here to help solve this mystery. The killer is among us! #2 becomes his assistant and it seems they’re trying to pin the blame on #4! Suspicious… Eventually with no evidence, they want to give up? It is close to midnight and the obvious killer who is one of the guest wants to strike but #3 decides to play that Detective Conan cliché by putting #4 to sleep and deduce the mystery. It’s a stupid deduction anyway as she claims #4 is the killer! Poor #4 get arrested but it will be some time before the real culprit is caught via fingerprints on the letter.

Episode 11
Hacka Dolls are going to help Takeuchi to come up with a birthday present. It’s for his favourite seiyuu, Yuppy. As she is holding a birthday concert next week, he wants it to be perfect but doesn’t want to hand the present directly. #1 and #2 have plain suggestions so Takeuchi being a total fan nerd scorns at their ideas. Takeuchi clicks with #3 since she too is a big fan. And so they go about their birthday present search that looks like a case of spying, detective work and drama. Yeah, WTF. At the end of Yuppy’s concert, she announces she is retiring because she wants to travel the world. This has all her fans in shock and Takeuchi being so disappointed that he is about to call it quits as her fan. But #3 wants him to give her the present in person because that is how true fans should be. Takeuchi runs through all the security and despite getting roughed up, makes his way to Yuppy to finally give it to her. She thanks him for being a fan. And with that, Takeuchi dies a happy man!

Episode 12
Even magical girls need help. Lovely Hurt is uhm, hurt. So they need Hacka Dolls to take their place to defend the town from monsters. Uhm, isn’t one of the magical girls a real gorilla?! Anyway, Hacka Dolls wait at the river bank and the motley monster crew shows up. Time to get into action. However #1 is just so freaking weak! Yeah, the boys watching them aren’t impressed. Do better! #2 gets tentacle raped by the squid and #3 facing off with a couple of gas mask hentai dudes. That is when #4 pops up claiming she is the saviour, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, she is relieving some movie hero who got hospitalized. #4 turns into a giant to send her friends and goes packing. Even destroying the town in the process! Because of that, the people are mad and take her away to do repairs. #1 is shocked to hear the monsters just want to keep the town clean and safe for children. But those damn violent magical girls always beat them up for no reason. Hacka Dolls realize they aren’t the bad guys so they agree to help make this town a better place. And so they did and even hold a special wrestling match!

Episode 13
Ayame invites her friend to Comiket but is told off to grow up and think about her future. Poor Ayame. She is depressed and rips all her otaku posters from her wall! Hacka Dolls are here to bug help her doujin for the Comiket but Ayame tells them to scram because she has thrown away it all. #1 continues to pester her and won’t give up so I guess what else is there for Ayame to do but to allow Hacka Dolls to help. On the first day, it seems Comiket turned into some Mad Max convention?! WTF?! Madness! Chaos! #0 has had it with them and scraps #2 and #3. This makes #1 mad so she powers up. Your much obliged epic anime battle between #0 and #1. Heck, #0 even uses #4 as a shield! Why do I not pity her? After killing off #4, #1 gets mad and turns Super Saiyan. Enough power to blast away #0! With her intense feelings, #1 manages to resurrect everyone and turn everything back to normal. Ultimate f*kery because this is all just #1’s dream!!! WTF???!!! Hacka Dolls are with Ayame at Comiket and the latter admits that they have advanced her a lot with her doujin. She hopes they will help others. Look out, world! Here they come! I mean, really look out!

What The Heck-a Duds!
Oh sh*t… Now I can see why Hacka Dolls are not mass produced in our society and we’re still stuck with Siri and/or Alexa!!! Goddamn it! No wonder humans couldn’t advance much! But as proof that Hacka Dolls are not completely 100% failures, I guess the last episode provided the very much needed ‘helpful review’ that they are indeed helping to advance us humans in a way. Well, 1 success for every 100 failures, that is! Hahaha! Hey, got to look on the bright side. Considering these Hacka Dolls that we are talking about, that’s not bad entirely. So who is the next unfortunate chap who needs their help? Remember, assuming every 100 failures will at least turn out 1 success. Uh huh. It’s like playing lottery with these Hacka Dolls… Because sometimes it feels like the whole mission is to help advance these Hacka Dolls rather than humanity. I know that’s the initial reason, that’s why it feels ironic.

There isn’t any real plot or story to follow here except the shenanigans and the misadventures of the Hacka Doll trio. Hence every episode feels very random and is independent of each other and can standalone by itself. Thus you don’t have to worry about any sort of continuity here and you can watch them in any order you like. Like that would make any difference for those who are so concerned about continuity but you should have known better when you decided to watch this short in the first place. Anyway, the short skits are meant to make us laugh and they did that quite well. So we’ve parodied almost every clichéd setting that we can think of. Oh dear. Where’s the high school setting?! Aren’t there any high school kids who need help in their exams or some student council president who is swamped with work for the cultural festival who needs their help?! No? Wow. Being a Japanese high school kid is sure problem free. At least from the problems of modern day society. I think.

In order for the series to be this funny and enjoyable, hence the only way is to make our dumb main trio of Hacka Dolls as useless as possible. Because only then when they are this clumsy and hopeless, that is where everything goes haywire. And the irony is that because they make us laugh so hard at their failures, I guess they aren’t all that useless after all. Do you not agree with me?! Imagine if the trio suddenly become useful Hacka Dolls like their other counterparts that we have never seen. FREAKING BORING! Hence it is that dilemma if we really want them to become proper and useful Hacka Dolls because at this point, we really love them for being this useless as that kind of personality has become their charm that we have come to love. So stay defective as always! You might not be helping those you are helping directly. But for the rest of us who are watching you and laughing our asses off with your incompetence, there, you did something good. Thank goodness so far only they are the known defective Hacka Dolls because imagine if the rest are like them, it would have been the fall of humanity! Mankind will regress many centuries by their own creation and invention! Seriously.

The main Hacka Doll trio are lovable in their own right although their characters feel cliché. Like #1 who is spunky and energetic, all ready to go and help without a doubt. Positivism is her greatest strength but that doesn’t necessarily translate into success. Oh well, try harder. AGAIN! Because she doesn’t give up (or maybe doesn’t know when to give up), you could say her persistence somewhat pays off. Then you have #2 who is a bit calmer but her main purpose is to be the fanservice character because of her huge racks. Yeah, we obviously notice in some scenes she gets into ambiguous situations just because the need of fanservice. Then there is #3 who looks like a sleepy and lethargic one but comes to life when something that shares her interests appears. I am still unsure if she is actually a boy because it is also part of her trope as an otokonoko (basically a male girl or a trans). I still won’t accept that! Even if they remain useless, but hey, at least you can’t hate them for being enthusiastic and see they get the job done! Now that’s the spirit!

If you think the trio are bad enough, wait till you see #4. Actually, she is far worse than them. She is arrogant, cocky and selfish to boot. More than often, she is often displayed as going against the main trio for whatever stupid reasons. Karma being a big b*tch, you bet #4 will eventually bear the brunt of it as she gets a taste of her own medicine, humble pie and just desserts. And she never learns. She is the ultimate bug and defective Hacka Doll if you ask me. I don’t think they intend to make #4 to be a despicable character (read: comic relief character) that we would love to hate but it makes you want to just cheer for the main trio instead of this b*tch. So #4, never change. So we can also laugh harder at your failures!

Last but not least, their boss #0 must be having a major headache trying to deal with them. I have a feeling she has a soft spot for them like us because otherwise in this competitive and information flooded world, she would have scrapped them for being inefficient all the time. But as I have said regarding Hacka Dolls failing, it is not always every time and there are some cases where I consider them to ‘succeed’ (in the loosest form) like that fan who managed to buy and present his present to his favourite seiyuu as well as assisting alien girl to return home and helping the monsters to clean up and protect the city. Not so defective after all, eh?

Art and animation are okay. Pretty decent and standard so it is nothing much to shout about for a short anime series. And of course, the Hacka Dolls are designed in cute and beautiful girls because do you want to see big burly men as your Hacka Dolls?! Hacka Dudes, NO WAY!!! Done by Creators In Pack who are masters in doing short anime shows like Danchigai, Military, Ojisan To Marshmallow, Netsuzou Trap and Osake Wa Fuufu Ni Natte Kara.

Voice acting is pretty okay. The seiyuus did a decent job in portraying and giving life to their respective characters. Miyu Takagi as #1 (Miyu in Wake Up Girls), Kaya Okuno as #2 (Kaya in Wake Up Girls), Nanami Yamashita as #3 (Nanami in Wake Up Girls), Reina Ueda as #4 (Akane in SSSS.Gridman) and Ryouka Yuzuki as #0 (Satsuki in Kill La Kill). Due to the episodic nature of this series, there are a bunch of other seiyuus making their cameo just for a single episode. Unfortunately though, none whom I really recognized.

Both the opening and main ending theme are sung by the main Hacka Doll trio. The opener is Touch Tap Baby, your typical manufactured genki anime pop while the ending is Happy Days Refrain, your typical genki synthesizer special effects filled song that you can dance along to. If you can stomach the weird CGI of the girls dancing in the credits, that is. Nowhere near Hatsune Miku’s level but whatever. Yeah, I still prefer their 2D animation… If group dancing isn’t your cup of tea, later in the second half there will be individual solo songs and dancing. Don’t mind the weird CGI animation again. These character songs reflect their character such as Progress Push Doll by #1 is a fast paced dancing song with a pinch of Chinese element in it, Reflect Realist Doll by #2 is more of rock based and Hazy Lazy Doll by #3 is personally my favourite because perhaps it sounds so closely to Bakemonogatari’s Renai Circulation. It’s like a sister clone of it. Did they steal and modify this theme?! Anyway it is quite catchy to listen to. And the worse one… THAT FREAKING CABBAGE SONG!!! MY EARS!!!

Overall, this is quite a funny and enjoyable short that will make your day even if it doesn’t solve all the problems at hand or advance humanity. Well, at least they get the job done by making you laugh and blowing away the blues. And with cute girls doing it, are you not satisfied?! Hence these Hacka Dolls may not be able to help us humans with difficult problems and that’s why the initial problem of labelling them as useless. To quote Einstein’s saying: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. It cannot be truer for our Hacka Dolls here. Hence they should’ve been more successful as clowns or manzai comedians! Just like humans, you need the right Hacka Doll for the right job. They can do multi-tasking and better at most stuffs we humans do. But remember, they’re not God so don’t expect miracles. After all, Hacka Dolls who are made by humans are going to be as smart and intelligent as their creators. Just saying. And that goes for Siri and Alexa too…


January 3, 2021

Somehow I first thought Deca-Dence was going to be the next Shingeki No Kyojin or at least a big spoof of it. Because at first looks the general synopsis tells us about humans who are driven to the brink of extinction, the survivors are living in a mobile fortress while fighting and defending themselves against giant bug monsters. But that’s so much about it. Once you get to know the true stuffs, it diverges a lot from Shingeki No Kyojin. But I still can’t help wonder, because this series was an original anime and not based on any manga or game, I can’t help wonder if the creators based this series on that idea. Maybe it’s just me thinking too much because you know, the hype of anticipating the final season of Shingeki No Kyojin is never ever so high! Oh right. Let’s get back to Deca-Dence shall we?

Episode 1
When Natsume was young, she snuck out to go discover the outside world with her father. However a monster attacked and though they run, their crew took a massive damage. Though, Natsume was rushed to the hospital. Good news: She lost only her right arm. Bad news: Uhm, let’s say that was the last time she saw her father. Time for textbook narration of the setting of this world. Monster known as Gadolls suddenly appeared and destroyed 90% of humanity. Gears are anti-Gadoll soldiers under Power, helped humanity create a huge mobile fortress known as Deca-Dence. Using the energy source from Gadolls known as oxyone (basically their blood), this allows humanity to live life peacefully in Deca-Dence. Natsume and Fei are classified as Tankers, those who support Gears so they can focus solely on fighting. However Natsume’s enlistment as one hits a snag when she is not listed at all. While she isn’t too happy about it, this only gives her b*tch rival, Linmei to just ramp up the b*tching and mockery. Eventually, Natsume ends up in the armour repair section under the guidance of taciturn Kaburagi. Well, as a rookie, she has to clean off corpses and mucus from Gadolls stuck on Deca-Dence’s walls! Eww! So suck it up and start cleaning! One day, on a pretence to return Kaburagi’s lost item, this is so she can throw a welcoming party at his place? Oh well. Better than nothing. So she talks about her dreams of becoming a soldier but he pours cold water on it and believes it is better to stay safe rather than going outside to die. In short, don’t have any ambitions. They are distracted when Kaburagi’s hidden pet shows up. Isn’t this a Gadoll?! But this cute little thing isn’t like other violent monsters. Aww… So cute! Yeah, Natsume decides to call it Pipe. Next day as they resume their cleaning job, Natsume has given a lot of thought about his no ambitions statement. That’s like being dead to her. The alert sounds because a huge mother Gadoll is sighted. Commander Minato orders the Gears to take out the minor ones. Among the top Gears is Kurenai. Hack and slash monsters while stealing their oxyone. During that, some accident happens as Kaburagi and Natsume fall off. Kaburagi steals the gears of a dead soldier, hooks Natsume with him as he goes around killing Gadolls like a pro! As for the big mother, when Deca-Dence is within distance, cables are shot into it to suck its oxyone that is in turn used as fuel to power up some very elaborated cannon. So this cannon is actually a huge punching glove???!!! COOL!!! It packs quite a punch since the Gadoll is shredded to pieces!

Episode 2
In the aftermath of the fight, there are a few dead soldiers as the survivors pay their last respects. Kaburagi again reminds Natsume, does she still want to be a soldier? Suddenly we are now in a world with chibi robots?! Apparently despite not a virtual world, it is a real world adventure game in which these robots can take up human avatars known as Gears and fight Gadolls. They can gain experience and rank up to be a top player. Flashback 7 years ago, Kaburagi was in a top tier ranking team that including the top player, Donatello. There is a new kid on the block, Mikey who got curious about this limiter release thingy. Supposedly whatever damage you receive in the game will affect you in real life but in exchange you may gain some stats in real life too. This is illegal and is amounting to cheating so none of the top players are using it. Mikey has been steadily ranking up but one day he felt stagnant. So he sought Kaburagi’s advice about the limiter release. After lots of begging and his fear of not wanting to become replaceable, Kaburagi gives in. However Mikey has been caught by Hugin who is the game’s regulatory watchdog. Kaburagi is soon brought to face Hugin and told that Mikey has been scrapped for his illegal act. Hugin has also disbanded the top ranker team as the system deemed this as bug. Hence Kaburagi will now work for them. By day he is an armour repairer and by night a recovery agent. By that he means, finding and reporting those humans without troublesome behaviour AKA bugs. As bugs are dangerous, they must all be eliminated. Hugin learns that Donatello and friends have been sent to the rehabilitation facility because they refused to cooperate. Kaburagi doesn’t want to stir the hornet’s nest and agrees to become their agent. With Natsume still begging Kaburagi to fight, he continues to dismiss her. She threatens to reveal about Pipe but he doesn’t care. Backfired. One night, Natsume catches Kaburagi doing his agent recover thingy. However she thought he was stealing money and is willing to give her pennies just for him to stop. He can’t stop laughing at this broke girl. Yeah, he might have broken her too. However when Kaburagi tries to process her, it seems her data cannot be found. Further search shows that she is already dead! This means she is not in the system. Now Natsume is all smiling because looks like Kaburagi changed his mind and will teach her how to fight as he brings her to the Gears’ base. He notes that she might be a bug and has no value in this world but at that moment she definitely saved him.

Episode 3
Kaburagi researches further. When Natsume was rushed to hospital, her heart stopped once but the medics were able to revive her. It was that moment her chip malfunctioned and hence she is considered dead. The best way to train is to do some real fighting. Kaburagi demonstrates the use of the barrier, tank and needle to drain the Gadoll of their oxyone. This is just tutorial level Gadoll. So go get them, girl! The first step is always the hardest but with Kaburagi’s guidance and Natsume persevering, looks like she’s getting the hang of it. Out of the blue, Hugin contacts Kaburagi because he hasn’t been reporting for quite a while. He finds it suspicious there are no bugs in his area although Kaburagi maintains his lie that there aren’t. More flashback about the state of the world. When air pollution rendered the planet inhabitable, an alien ship and company known Solid Quake came to humanity’s rescue. They developed this Deca-Dence game and in order for humans not to repeat this mistake, they introduced an independent all-governing system to make all decisions. Natsume has this idea to dress Pipe up so it can go out without raising suspicions. That’s not going to- Oh sh*t, it works?! But Natsume knows a pressing problem. Because of her right mechanical hand, she cannot use the lever or weapon efficiently. It is those matter of seconds that determine life or death when fighting Gadolls. Hence Kaburagi takes her to some shady part of town to give her a hand upgrade! With better parts, it is also now an awesome weapon. On another out for training, suddenly the Gadoll alert is raised. This time the attack comes from underground so it grinds Deca-Dence to a halt. But big trouble for Kaburagi as Pipe gets lost so he seeks Minato’s help. His flashback shows how he met Pipe when it was stuck inside a corpse while cleaning the walls. Because of how retarded it is, he didn’t think it was a threat. So he bought a place just to give Pipe a new home.

Episode 4
Natsume gets scared after seeing a few Gears get killed. But after remembering Kaburagi’s lessons, she starts killing like a pro! This helps Kaburagi secure Pipe. When a strong Gadoll seemingly attacks Deca-Dence directly, thanks to Kurenai and her strong warriors, they diffuse the threat. Kurenai then praises Natsume for her skills. Everyone is shocked to learn she isn’t part of any unit. Kurenai wants her to join Power. Natsume so happy her dreams have come true that she thanks Kaburagi. Kurenai flusters upon seeing that guy. It seems the Gadoll’s main nest have been found. Located at what is believed to be Mt Everest, it will be the biggest Gadoll hunt ever and this could end the war. As Kurenai briefs her warriors on it, Minato is seen praising Kaburagi for his skills. He is thinking of him making a comeback since it’s about time. Kaburagi doesn’t feel quite right since the ranking system is gone. Minato then tells him a secret not many knows. The next mission is impossible to clear. In fact many Gears will die. Deca-Dence will fall into despair and that is when the return of the legendary rankers will reappear to give hope. Kaburagi will be part of that group. Natsume is put under the care of triplets Mindy, Mundy and Mendy. Natsume tries to talk to Fei but looks like she doesn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore because she never listens. So she’s now part of Linmei’s groupie? Natsume is surprised that Kaburagi is at her doorstep. He tries to tell her to not take part in this mission because she’ll die. She remains stubborn that she wants to do it so he breaks her equipment. Now Natsume goes talk to Kurenai. She can tell she wants to pull out. She is okay if it is her decision. She also asks why she fights. For Kurenai, it is of course to get Kaburagi’s heart. She feels alive when fighting outside rather than being stuck safely inside here. Natsume thinks back about her dad introducing this world to her, as well as all the other pessimistic comments others told her. Now she changes her mind. She tells Kurenai that her reason to fight is not to change the world but herself. So I take she’s back in the mission. Minutes before the big mission starts, Kaburagi is shocked to see Natsume preparing to head out with the rest on this big mission.

Episode 5
The big fight starts. Natsume’s group enters the nest where the Gadoll alpha is. They see all the Gears dead! They fight this alpha and it is no ordinary one. It is fast, strong and smart! Natsume doesn’t want to retreat and fights it. Unfortunately, Mindy pays the price as she gets killed while protecting her. So she’s tired of seeing kids die? So the anger makes Natsume fight better? To her horror, this smart alpha takes out the needles draining its oxyone and throws it back at her. But that’s cue for Kaburagi to come to her rescue. He puts up a decent fight but it is just enough to get Natsume out. He says he can’t defeat that Gadoll but Natsume is adamant to go back to rescue her comrades. This fervour has Kaburagi remember the same as Mikey had. Kaburagi fights the alpha to let Natsume and her comrades escape to safety. Against Minato’s orders, Kaburagi continues fighting it even if this will change the storyline. Eventually Kaburagi puts up a gallant fight and kills it. Hooray, right? Now here’s the storyline change risk. A freaking huge Gadoll mother pops up and attacks everyone. Can’t cancel this event. More bodies piling up. Minato tries to hurry up activating the cannon and better hurry as this Gadoll can fire a more devastating cannon and its recharging time is shorter. Thankfully with Kaburagi cutting off a leg to make it lose its balance, Deca-Dence is able to activate its cannon and punch a good one in the Gadoll’s face! Hooray! We did it! We saved the world! It’s peace and freedom from now on, right?! Only, it’s like the next stage is activated and more big ass mother Gadoll pop up. Oh sh*t. Despair or fun? The former for Natsume. She thinks Kaburagi knows this but looks like something is wrong when he tells her to take care of Pipe. Because he goes to see Hugin and is prepared for his punishment. This time Kaburagi dares to say that bugs are necessary in this world so Hugin shoots him with his crow?!

Episode 6
Kaburagi is captured and since he doesn’t regret his actions, Hugin realizes he has become a bug himself. He is supposed to be scrapped but looks like something intervened and it is decided that Kaburagi will be sent to the bug rehabilitation facility. With all the disgruntled bugs, their job is to scoop Gadoll poo, chop them into small pieces and dump them into the mixer that serves as renewable energy for the system. Complain as you want, just be careful not to be crushed by the falling poo! Despite all the stink, Kaburagi works hard and this catches the eye of a veteran, Sarkozy. Because Kaburagi thinks he can work his way out, Sarkozy has to tell him the truth that all that is a lie and nobody is getting out here. The system will work you till you’re broken. Also, nobody can escape since this facility is located at the bottom of the lake and the water pressure will crush if in the event if you manage to get out. However Kaburagi continues to persevere. He is pushing his limits because if he gives up now, a certain Tanker will be mad at him. Sarkozy then lets him in on a secret that ever since that storyline changing event, the world has been peaceful and no Gadoll attacks. How does he know? Some of them here can log into Deca-Dence! Kaburagi wants to meet those guys and he is brought to the ring leader who is no other than Donatello. He is of course still not pleased with Kaburagi’s betrayal although Kaburagi plays it down all that he is no longer the system’s dog and is a bug like him. Everyone laughs at him when he says he wants to log into to contact a certain tanker and will do anything. Hence they initiate a death dive game. Kaburagi will fight Donatello over the mixer. The one who falls in loses. It’s a close fight but with Kaburagi getting the better by pulling off Donatello’s hairpiece (?!), Donatello decides to take him down with him and drags Kaburagi to the bottom. Surprisingly, Kaburagi uses his boosters to get them both out. Turkey thought he cheated and wants to get back at him but Donatello warns him not to embarrass his honour anymore. Seeing Kaburagi’s resolve, Donatello lets Kaburagi use the machine to log into Deca-Dence. Of course he has to start a new game with a totally new character.

Episode 7
Creating a new avatar, the moment he returns to Deca-Dence, it seems there is a Gadoll attack. Wait. I thought it was peaceful? I guess the admins need to ramp up the story. Now there is a hole in the wall and as the Gears fight to keep them out, some slip through. As expected, chaos descends as the people inside panic and some casualties mount. Luckily Kaburagi is here to do some ass kicking although this avatar isn’t good enough. Natsume handles the rest, though. Later Kaburagi talks to Minato about this. Seems this is all part of the plan to kill off some Tankers as their numbers have grown. Minato warns him not to make his position worse than before. If it reaches that, he can’t help him anymore. With shortage of material and manpower, the Gears are in a dilemma on how to patch up the hole. Natsume suggests getting some materials from Tankers. The rest doesn’t think it is possible as it would be hard to get their cooperation. Natsume remains positive and will go ask for help. However they turn her down since they’re busy and they’re already doing what they can. Don’t ask for the impossible. Even when she talks to Fei about it, she remains pessimistic. Not everyone can change and be positive like Natsume. Fei believes herself to be weak and doesn’t want to be strong like Natsume. Isn’t living a peaceful life not enough for her? Natsume returns emptyhanded but by that time the Gears have also done their part in helping. Good timing because all those who initially rejected Natsume changed their mind and help contribute. Including Fei. You people are so fickle minded. Patching gets underway although it will take some time. Kaburagi talks to Natsume but she doesn’t recognize him and keeps her distance. Until he claims he knows about this guy and the way Pipe reacts to him, Natsume is willing to hear him out. Kaburagi praises Natsume for what she did. If it was him, he would’ve given up. Natsume then makes a teary statement of how she wants to be strong but is still weak. Because Kaburagi might never come back and peace will never materialize, that’s why she pushes herself to the limit and be more useful. This only strives to make Kaburagi more determined to destroy the system. He returns and talks to Donatello about his plan to destroy the Gadoll factory.

Episode 8
Everyone laughs at Kaburagi’s idea but of course Donatello who is only thinking of having fun agrees to it. Jill has to rain on everyone’s parade that even if one way is to log into Deca-Dence (instead of escaping this place), the factory is heavily guarded because those with chips who walk into the vicinity will be immediately go offline. However Kaburagi knows there is an avatar that doesn’t have a chip and not disposed of yet: His original avatar. Knowing Minato’s habit, he is keeping it somewhere. They just need to know where it is hidden. After Jill hacks into Minato’s system, Hugin summons Minato because there has been a suspicious log of him keeping something suspicious. Jill brings the guys to the avatar storage system. They have to find Kaburagi’s original avatar here. As they search, it seems Hugin is making Minato do the same. Sarkozy nearly screws up so this has Hugin go to investigate some strange noise. Luckily Turkey knocks Sarkozy out so nothing happens. Now Kaburagi has to quickly intercept the box carrying his avatar before Hugin returns. Minato opens the box and the suspicious thing he is hiding… Uhm, what pleasure tool is this?! At least he is no longer under suspicion. Now that Kaburagi has his avatar, he still needs another person to help him. He has Natsume in mind and goes to see her. Don’t creep up on her or she’ll punch you thinking you’re a pervert! She is glad to see him as he explains his plans to destroy the factory. But they can’t risk lives of others so it’ll be just them. You bet Natsume is going to help. Donatello summons the rest of his men to rally them to destroy the factory. They don’t seem too keen on it until Jill explains the poo they process is actually turned into oxyone that feeds them! So basically they’re pieces of sh*t running on sh*t power. You bet everyone is mad and hyped up to go destroy the factory. Kaburagi is summoned by Minato and knows that pleasure tool is his doing. When he learns about Kaburagi’s plan, Minato doesn’t agree to destroy the system because it will mean chaos. Kaburagi wants to free everyone since they’re doing nothing but obeying the system’s orders. Those who don’t are deemed bugs. Minato is still against this so Kaburagi asks him if saving him was part of system’s orders. In the end, Minato won’t fight with him. Will he report Kaburagi to the system? All Minato can say is, all he wants is to fight alongside Kaburagi like old times. Meanwhile Turkey tries to convince Sarkozy to betray Kaburagi since this mission is doomed to fail anyway. They’re going to save their comrades and they’ll be heroes. Sounds good, right?

Episode 9
While the Gears fight Gadoll, Kaburagi and Natsume drive out towards the factory. Once inside, they must activate GGS (Gadoll Genocide System) to destroy all Gadolls. Damn, such self-destruct convenience exist?! Meanwhile, Turkey initiates the rest to burn all the poo. This in turn releases toxic and smelly fumes that flow through the facility and the water ways, affecting the Gadolls and making them initiate their zone. With the chaos all around, Kaburagi and Natsume are able to sneak in easily. However it seems Hugin is expecting their arrival and attacks them. The rebels are ready to fight more when suddenly reinforcement security show up and start killing them! Yeah, just block their nose to avoid smelling! Sarkozy panics as this isn’t what he wanted. Turkey blames him for doing the reporting but assures he is doing the right thing. Part of their betrayal is to lead security to the login device that Kaburagi is using. Jill realizes this betrayal so she forces Donatello to log out from his fun to go take care of the security. Or else! Kaburagi gets owned by Hugin and Natsume gets killed?! Thankfully, just an illusion because Jill managed to hack and mess with Hugin’s vision to stall for time. Donatello destroys the security and confronts Turkey who admits he was the one who tipped off Hugin. Donatello doesn’t care about betrayals as long as he has fun. After destroying all the security, Turkey tries to escape. Sarkozy is injured and needs Turkey’s help. Of course Turkey abandons him. At a loss, Sarkozy remembers Kaburagi’s words of pushing oneself to the limits. Turkey tries to attack Donatello but is no match. Because Turkey prefers the old order, Donatello throws him into mixer with all the sh*t. Sarkozy then turns himself into a fiery bomb and jumps into the mixer to go out with a bang. The explosion rips through the facility. The flooding is what allows Kaburagi to escape Hugin’s wrath. Kaburagi and Natsume then activate GGS. And just like that, all the Gadolls disappear. Natsume is in shock over everything. What is all this. Kaburagi reveals that Gadolls and even this body of his are all manufactured.

Episode 10
Kaburagi can save his breath explaining the truth since Natsume passes out. She wakes up along the way as he takes her back to Deca-Dence. She is reeling from the truth’s shock. She wants to tell others but Kaburagi says she can’t. Remember her father? Humans who get too close to the truth will be considered a bug and scrapped. That’s what happened to him. It’s like Natsume became disappointed. Had she knew the truth, she wouldn’t have wanted such change and for things to remain the same. In hindsight, wasn’t it Natsume who bugged Kaburagi for everything? Sure, he didn’t tell her the truth but at such circumstances, could he? So I think it’s unfair if she is blaming it all on him. It is obvious that Natsume sinks into depression back on Deca-Dence. Kurenai talks to her and since Natsume has seen and heard what she did, opinions of others don’t really matter. Meanwhile Hugin is looking for Natsume and since the system cannot detect her, he has to use an unconventional method. Kaburagi returns home to write a reply letter to Natsume (sad, Pipe’s gone too) and has to log out soon because security reinforcements are here. Luckily the survivors are smart enough to dump poo on them before making their big escape. Natsume reads Kaburagi’s letter. He regretted not telling her the truth as well as the rules he had to follow just to live. Thanks to her, he decided to live and destroy the rules of this world. So Natsume feeling madder? Because Kaburagi sees Natsume’s name popping up as a wanted bug, he has Jill quickly log him into his avatar. Great timing because Natsume is here to speak to him. Apparently she’s not happy he is trying to run away again. Despite living in deceit for a long time, the times she spent with him were real. So if he wants to destroy the system, count her in. Suddenly Kaburagi is killed! Oh sh*t! Hugin has found them. But here’s another problem looming. A lone Gadoll survivor that hatched himself from a dead human has been eating corpses and growing huge. Looks like it is on a rampage now.

Episode 11
Before Hugin could kill Natsume, somebody kills him. It is Kaburagi using his other avatar. At first she finds it hard to believe it is him but after remembering about what he said about everything here is manufactured, it’s a good thing she can accept it now. Because no time to waste. The stray Gadoll is about to attack Deca-Dence. Even after activating and punching the cannon… The Gadoll is too strong and damages Deca-Dence. Plus, it evolves again right in their very eyes as it shoots a beam right up to their mothership in space! They’re lucky it just grazes the ship. Even luckier for now, the Gadoll is asleep regenerating. At this point with Deca-Dence taking too much damage, an alert has been given that all services on Deca-Dence will be shut down. Basically, everyone abandon Deca-Dence and to log out. Minato tries to warn Kaburagi about this but Jill intercepts and tells them a possible way and that is to hack and control Deca-Dence itself. She knows it because she was one of the original staffs who designed the core. Kaburagi will do it because Deca-Dence despite its damaged state is the only thing they have to take down the Gadoll. Better be quick since the Gadoll has spawned little ugly critters! I guess this is the action those Gears need. Kaburagi has Jill tinker with his system so he could connect to Deca-Dence. Then he drives the way into that fortress. Meanwhile Natsume stumbles into Jill’s group. She is first shocked at the real appearances of Gears but since they are Kaburagi’s friends, they are also her friends. Yeah, nothing at this point can shock her anymore. Once Kaburagi is in the core room, Minato is waiting and trying to convince him to escape. He thinks they Kaburagi has no chance and will die for nothing. They’ll think of something if the escape. But Kaburagi can’t. Even if this is wrong, that’s what makes it right. Say what?! Minato is angry because he is so calm but himself is confused and at a lost. However Kaburagi has calculated Minato to be here to help him connect to the system so there’s his role. With that, Minato does his part as Kaburagi gets ready to reactivate Deca-Dence.

Episode 12
And… Nothing happens! Since Natsume is still wrapping her head around Kaburagi’s form, Jill explains Kaburagi is now Deca-Dence. Kabu-Dence now. Is she making a joke?! When Natsume suggests making weapons for Kaburagi, that is when Jill hits an idea and relays it to Minato who in turn tells all the Gears for their final mission to gather all the broken parts of Deca-Dence all over and filling it with oxyone. This final mission excites many and against orders, they log in just to have their final play of the game. Meanwhile Kaburagi is faced with what is the system admin. She explains bugs are actually allowed because it allows their termination. Some sort of twisted symbiotic relationship, I guess. And something about how every event is just a major upgrade and hence whatever Kaburagi tries to struggle through, it is futile. But he begs to differ. The system won’t save anyone and just response to the outcome of event. He is going to show it to her despite admin being adamant he will die anyway. Hence he is given control of Deca-Dence as it now truly activates. Yeah, Natsume banging the walls and screaming won’t do anything but for dramatic effect it made her look like she did. Yeah, she broke her hand too! Looks like Gadoll has awakened and ready to fire. They won’t make it but Donatello does kamikaze right into the Gadoll to deflect is shot. Don’t worry, only his avatar died. Now all the parts have gathered, Deca-Dence fires all its got into the Gadoll. Still alive? But they’ve run out of oxyone. Flashes of Natsume’s various faces go through Kaburagi’s mind. So what power does he unlock? I don’t where he get that extra power but it packs a punch to finally defeat the big mother. With that, Deca-Dence has gone overload and collapses. I guess that’s it for Kaburagi, huh? System offline… Natsume manages to find Kaburagi’s body and says what she needs to say before the power goes off forever… :’(. 3 years later, we see a totally new reality simulation. What’s left of Deca-Dence is now turned into some bustling city and you can do all sorts of activities. Damn, SimCity?! DecaCity! And Gadolls now are also super friendly?! Minato is super admin while Jill handles the data. She notices one whereby she backed up Kaburagi’s data when she was upgrading him. You thinking what I’m thinking? Natsume is some tour guide but someone familiar in the horizon approaches her. I think we all know who it is seeing she’s starting to well up.

Saved By The Bug
So did Deca-Dence experienced the biggest upgrade ever? Well, whatever the new realty or game or life both humans and Gears are seemingly enjoying now, it must be good. Because nobody is asking to quickly hit the ‘go back’ button! But the best upgrade ever is to be freed from the system so I suppose everybody is free now. Yeah, if we can still stop receiving those damn Windows upgrades from time to time! I don’t know if the final scene is meant to give this series some happy ending because it felt convenient that Kaburagi got revived. Assuming that’s that. So where did they find a body exactly like the old Kaburagi? I don’t think he got reborn so it’s just a bit mind boggling and curious. Oh well. Just when I thought Kaburagi died a bug and became a God, looks like he came back so that Natsume could be an even happier Natsume. How convenient it is to be a cyborg. Just copy and paste your conscience/programme, that’s it. Assuming that’s that since the final scene was left with enough ambiguity for us to reach such conclusion but at the same time draw our own. Yeah, that guy who looked like Kaburagi may be Natsume’s dad! Yeah, that’s one too far of a stretch.

Story feels a bit confusing at first especially with the plot twist coming very early in the series. So for the most part, you’ll be wondering if Deca-Dence is real or just made up. Then it turns out to be one big manufactured real time RPG because, what else is there to do in life? Once you sorted that truth out, then the story takes on another direction into destroying the system. Because apparently bugs are defined by the system as something bad and they can’t have it. That’s why it takes a bug to take down the entire system that was created to destroy all bugs in the first place. I know it sounds a bit confusing at this point too but essentially if you just think of people who have seen the dark side of the establishment and are trying to rebel and destroy it, this type of plot is pretty common and cliché in many other shows we have seen in the past. And what’s this contradiction that bugs are allowed by the system anyway? Oh, superhero quote: You die a hero or live long enough to see yourself to become the villain. Rinse and repeat. So when will Minato become a crazy megalomaniac admin? Well, we know perhaps Kaburagi is the only guy who can take him down. And upgrade version I definitely don’t want to see.

There is potential in the concept in the sense that everything that we have seen here are actually manufactured. Everyone else who are bound by the rules of the system are made to believe that everything is real and it is all part of life. The freedom you think you have is fake. It begs the question of control and free will. Whether it is right for others to live their lives are per instructed by authorities or take responsibility in finding your own path with the true freedom that you are given. It is a scary thought how this actually mirrors real life, especially how 2020 played out to utmost similarity in certain parts of the world. Isn’t it aptly named how humans who prefer to follow blindly the system are edging towards decadence? Feels like a downgrade. Here people, an event for you to kill Gadoll and level up your experience points. Yahoo! Are you not satisfied with that? And all those who do not follow the system are bugs and hence must be rid of. Unfortunately you just can’t develop and lump everything into 1 category. Because even if there are bad bugs, there are good bugs too. Like, those bacteria in your guts, just saying… But since this anime as said is original, I have got to give them points for trying even if all that could be better. Yeah, they should just hire me to be the writer… No way! I prefer my ‘job’ of watching and criticizing works of others!

One of the most jarring things that would have probably confused us a lot at first is the design of the actual Gears’ appearance. In short, they look so cartoonish! I mean, we started out as that cool edgy dystopian like anime style animation and art. And then suddenly… WTF these cute colourful cartoonish robots?! WTF???!!! You bet many are going to be confused what’s going on. Just like yours truly. At first it was really weird to see both style of animations together. Like as though putting together live action scenes with animated cartoon scenes like Roger Rabbit or something. Eventually you’ll get used to it otherwise you’ll forever be stuck in confusion land.

The only characters that really matter are just Kaburagi and Natsume. The interaction and dynamism between them helps drive the story and offer something more than just bloodthirsty and action crazy Gears trying to kill Gadolls. It can be greatly said that Kaburagi and Natsume both drive and depend on each other to get where they are today. Had these 2 not met, Kaburagi would’ve still been stuck in his dead end recovery agent job, waiting for the day he will be scrapped himself. On the other hand, Natsume might have never gotten the chance to change herself and could’ve just been like her other fellow Tankers living a relatively safe and boring life. So we see them draw strength and inspiration from each other to get motivation to fight the system and Gadolls, propelling them to legendary bug status that not even the system can handle and resolve. Kaburagi went on to defy the odds to even take down the Gadoll factory and became connected to the Deca-Dence system to defy the system while Natsume continues to sprout as an impressive fighter and her own independent girl.

Though, I was a bit bugged when Natsume became disillusioned when she found out about the truth. The truth was something Kaburagi tried to protect her from in fear she wouldn’t handle it and true enough she couldn’t. I mean, it’s not like Kaburagi lied to her or anything. I guess that’s why people prefer the comforting lies. Took her a while to realize that the times spent with Kaburagi are real just to overcome this. But being with Kaburagi for so long, I would’ve expected much better from her. Oh well, better late than never. And it is a good thing that even though Natsume changed a lot, her spunky and bubbly behaviour remained the same. I still prefer this Natsume than a gloomy one. After all, Kaburagi himself is already a gloomy fellow. Don’t want to have overlapping characters, do you?

Unfortunately other characters don’t really matter and don’t feel as significant as Kaburagi and Natsume. Like Hugin, I guess they needed some sort of antagonist in person as an obstacle to the duo. Natsume’s friends like Fei and Linmei are just forgettable because they never get out of their comfort zone and stayed the same unlike Natsume who took bold steps to try and change herself. Not even Pipe is memorable because it looks more like a retarded blob than a cute mascot. Thank goodness they killed it off, right? Kurenai is another human whom Natsume can look up to and fill the void if Kaburagi isn’t around. Kurenai’s love for Kaburagi just feels like for distraction and like as though if they needed to play up this area in the future, maybe they have some story going in for it. So far none. Jill is some hacking nerd if the plot ever needs some sort of convenient hacking and Donatello the big guy who just wants to have fun. Minato feels like he has some sort of weird friendship problem with Kaburagi. It’s like he wants to get back to the old ways with him but fears of becoming a bug himself. That’s why all those subtle and secret hints to him in hopes to keep Kaburagi safe but all fallen on deaf ears. Eventually friendship > the system.

The action parts are quite satisfying and it is sometimes hard not to draw parallels with Shingeki No Kyojin. Instead of having 3DMD to fly about freely, hence this series have this weird bulky cauldron tank and some weird space for Gears to fight Gadolls in free flowing acrobat action. Instead of having swords, we have big giant iron straws to suck out the blood of Gadolls. I guess this is much lenient than having to slice a very specific part of a Titan to just effectively kill it! So yeah, the action sequences are bloody (there are deaths too but only to very unimportant characters that don’t matter) and over the top and sometimes feels too flashy especially the initial scenes of Deca-Dence turning into a giant boxing glove! Oh man, if you think the big mother Gadoll can go down with just a single punch like that, bear in mind that everything is manufactured so they might be programmed to go down with that single punch. Hey, you want big thrills and spills? Might as well go do it in a big fashion and style too.

Art and animation feel pretty standard. Like I’ve said a few paragraphs before, the jarring art style between the humans and original Gears may confuse a lot. In addition to that, Gears in their human avatars feel weird because of their coloured skin. I’m not trying to be racist! What I mean is that looking at them feels like they are characters taken from Marvel’s Guardian Of The Galaxy like Gamora, Nebula and Yondu. Get what I mean? CGI is also used but mainly for the big mother Gadoll. Not that bad and it is tolerable but I feel that it could have been better. Especially the final stray Gadoll. Like, did they ran out of budget or something? But generally, those smaller Gadoll types that the Gears normally engage in range more from hilarious to weirdly cute. Not even scary to be honest. Like as though they are rejected Pokemon designs and this is what they would turn out to be if their evolution wasn’t perfect. Yikes. Animated by Nut, whose only other series they have produced is Youjo Senki.

Voice acting is pretty okay. I recognized the voices of Eri Kitamura as Kurenai (I recently found out she also doubles as Pipe!), Takehito Koyasu as Hugin and Rikiya Koyama as Donatello. At first I thought Takahiro Sakurai was behind Minato’s voice but I was dead wrong. It’s Kousuke Toriumi (Nozel in Black Clover). The other casts are Katsuyuki Konishi as Kaburagi (Laxus in Fairy Tail), Tomori Kusunoki as Natsume (Melida in Assassins Pride), Michiyo Murase as Jill (Sucy in Little Witch Academia), Yutaka Aoyama as Turkey (Hannibal in Drifters), Yuuji Ueda as Sarkozy (Hajime in Jigoku Shoujo), Mei Shibata as Fei (China Riot in Bakugan Battle Planet) and Yoshino Aoyama as Linmei (Yoshino in Wake Up Girls). The opening theme, Theater Of Life by Konomi Suzuki is your typical generic lively rock piece to get you into the action paced feel of the series. Quite suitable for the series but not really my cup of tea. As for the ending theme, Kioku No Hakobune by Kashitaro Ito, also another rock outfit but to a slower beat. Sounds more like a song played for happy endings or victories and although it isn’t bad, again not up my alley.

Overall, this anime had potential from its concept, setting, characters and action bits. Many I read liked this series for all that and could be one of the better series of the season. For me, it was just pretty okay. A bit higher than passable but not averagely mediocre. Because I’m just a simpleton so delving too deep into the deeper aspects isn’t my forte like what many others saw. It is decently enjoyable and had its share of fun and funny moments, a good thing that didn’t make me censure harshly other sh*t animes of the same season but at the same time it is a bad thing because this series isn’t nowhere near a masterpiece in my books. Yeah, I know. Final season anticipation of Shingeki No Kyojin. Not sure if this was the bug in me that kept me from praising this series further. And of course, bugs are so necessary in this world because it reflects us as humans who are imperfect. We are humans because of those imperfections and it’s okay to be bugs. We’re not Gods. Just simple minded humans who just want to live and have fun while at it. And maybe it’s not a bug after all. Just a feature request…

P/S: It’s not an upgrade. It’s evolution!

Hametsu No Mars

January 2, 2021

Well, well, well. Just when I thought I had seen the worst anime ever in my life, it just goes to show that there are those that can do even worse. While randomly browsing through the internet because you know, what else should I be doing if I am not watching my usual animes, I stumbled into an old article claiming the worst animes ever in history. One of them being Hametsu No Mars AKA Destruction Of Mars. Because of its horror genre, I was reluctant to watch it. But reading those reviews how it was so bad that it was good, I had to go check it out. After all, it is only a single OVA episode that lasts only 19 minutes. Uh huh. I’ve got so much time to waste and spare in this Corona virus season.

Destruction of integrity…
We see a Mars expedition returning from its trip. As it is entering Earth’s atmosphere, something went wrong and the whole ship just blows up. Fast forward with an on screen post that tells us a few months have passed and something happened to Tokyo. They didn’t say what it is but we know it’s something bad. Real bad. Because now we see hot chicks trying to take down monsters known as Ancients. Yup, so badass these monsters, one of the girls’ head just explodes from their attack! Woah! You wonder why they don’t armour up and protect themselves like this dude, Takeru Hinata. Sure, his MARS armour may be more style than substance but at least it’s better than running around like that. Anyway, Takeru kills the Ancients but not before they deal some damage to him. Yeah, some armour that was. As Takeru lies in ICU, we see some flashback that Takeru was forced to join this task force and wear this armour. He really didn’t want to and accused dad of just wanting to show it off. But daddy tells him to STFU and wear it and that’s that. WTF… Fortunately, Takeru regains his senses. He’s okay but still in shock. And there’s some narration about the responsibilities of being born into the Hinata family. WTF, we don’t care…

Oh, good timing to introduce us to AAST. Anti-unidentified Ancients Special Team. Should’ve been ASSED… Anyway, they are made up of hot chicks from police forces specializing in weapons, combat, etc. And yeah, there’s Takeru who was a normal high school until he had to wear MARS and fight along with them. The reason was never told why… Yeah, I guess the writers couldn’t figure it out in time either. As they’re doing some escort mission, the usual boring job and idle chatter until their superior says stop talking and focus on the job. Yes, ma’am. Because it’s a death flag as Ancients attack! Oh sh*t! A police car just exploded! Time for some action. Stupid policemen just stand there to get his guts ripped! Takeru wears MARS to fight but there’s only so much he can deal with. Then there’s this Ancient boss (because he looks so different) he starts owning the AAST girls but how kind of him not to kill them so fast. Because Takeru is being given a prototype plasma rifle. It’s risky but it was designed with the MARS suit. He only has one shot at this because its recharge rate is super slow and it might go out of control. No wonder Takeru is so unconfident he can’t do it! Oh well. He has to. Because the AAST girls are continuing to get their ass whipped. F*ck, Ancient boss how long is he going to strangle that particular girl!? Takeru charges the plasma rifle up and shoots a hole right through the guts! Damn, that was sure easy!

Now what’s this? We hear a scientist explaining some mumbo-jumbo but ultimately he mentions about DNA samples found on Mars. What does this mean? Get ready for this. Humanity was from Mars! There was civilization on Mars! OMFG!!! No wonder the general can’t believe this crap! Back to the battle scene, oh sh*t, Ancient boss wakes up and walks towards Takeru! You mean nobody made sure it was dead???!!! Then surprise motherf*cker! IT SPEAKS!!! He blames that humans are the Martian invaders who invaded Earths and that Ancients are the real Earthlings!!! OMFG!! Are your minds blown now!!! Then the AAST girls pump plasma bullets into it. You can tell he is dead when he just freaking explodes!!!!! Oh man. After what we’ve seen, I can’t blame Takeru for being in so much shock.

D.O.T.A.: De-farce Of The Ancients
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh… You mean it’s over. But I haven’t finished laughing hard yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man… OH MAN… I guess they were right. It was so freaking bad that it was just good!!! So why didn’t this masterpiece get another sequel or its own TV series???!!! Oh right. Because unlike in today’s era and standards, I guess even way back in 2005 if your show is garbage, it means that is the end of you. No chance for redemption at all. So it is safe to say that this is truly one of the worst shows ever I have seen, even surpassing that 6 Angels crap that I saw last year. Phew. Good riddance. And to think that this was a horror genre (hence why it was mostly ‘acknowledged’ as the worst horror anime in history). Damn, it should’ve been comedy gold! Oh, what’s this about this anime is set in the year 2010?! I don’t even know where to begin… 10 years later in real time and we might not be getting those freaking Ancients but we have all the other nonsense that’s been going about. Yup. That’s the real horror story!

Okay, the very obvious fail is the quality of the production. From the start, you can tell that the quality of the animation is already crap. And to think that this was produced as an OVA. I feel sorry for those people who actually bought the DVD back then and only to be greeted with this horrendous quality. The animation quality is so off that you can obviously see the inconsistency in the characters. Yeah, upon closer look, they have this derp face and the likes. Like, WTF?! Oh, did I mention their movements also feel a bit robotic? Worse, they all look the same, especially the AAST girls. You only can differentiate them because of their different hair colour and hairstyle but even so, seeing how short this anime is, you won’t probably give a damn. And the Ancients’ design was just f*cking hilarious. I don’t know. Maybe somebody on the team got inspiration from those sentai genres. Yeah, Ancients look like those low level baddies. No wonder Ancient boss looks so much like some sentai type monster.

Next up are the action bits. Boy, it is sure f*cking laughable!!! Like as though they hired some D-grade actors to play the Ancient monsters and nobody has a clue on what fighting is. You just see the Ancients swinging their limbs and the AAST girls firing their pea shooter plasma guns that don’t even work. They thought they could scare us with a bit of some graphic violence such as head exploding and guts being ripped off and blood flying all over the place. But remember what I said about the production quality being so bad? Yup. It just makes it all look freaking funny! Oh well. We can’t complain. We’ve got our action. We’ve got our violence. We’ve got our blood and gore. What else more can you expect from a 20 minute long OVA???!!!

And yeah, the story. Oh boy. The story is a mess. Oh wait. Was there one to begin with? Something tells me that this OVA could have been just a promo and introduction and if the response was good, they’ll make more. Thank goodness it wasn’t and that’s the end of that. Good for both viewers and the producers too. We can now dump this thing in the garbage chute and forget it for all eternity. It saves the viewers from more watching and wasting time watching more atrocity and it also saves the producers from thinking about what crap to flesh out. Though, the interesting take is about humans being Martians but that itself wasn’t enough to save the entire story. Like as though when they wanted to write something based on this concept, they had no idea at all and was just winging it all the way. And then they go, “Hey, if people liked it, maybe we can come up with something and add more to the lore!”. Yeah… So it is sad that even the characters feel wasteful. Something about Takeru but we don’t care. Like as though they want to make him a clone of Neon Genesis Evangelion’s Shinji but they fail big time. Big time! And do you care about the other AAST girls even if they have names? Yup. Thought so.

OMG. The sound. The dialogue feels amateurish and like as though they just plucked someone out from the streets to do the voice acting. It just feels so weak. Yeah, hear the voice of those being killed? Or the Ancients’ moaning? Your heart will be conflicted to laugh or be cringe! And to think that Minori Chihara had a hand in this voicing one of the AAST girls! Was she?! I couldn’t even recognize her until I saw the credits! Not that I wanted to go back and hear and confirm her voice again but I guess you can’t expect a famous seiyuu to voice every hit anime, right? And the music, oh God, I think they really have no budget so they rip the music from several famous classical pieces. The obvious one being Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and Bach’s version of Ave Maria. Not to say other works didn’t borrow these pieces but for this one, every piece is borrowed! So don’t be surprised to hear Bond’s Victory and Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1. Hey, is that a Flash Gordon spoof I hear?! Not that any of the songs fit the scenes anyway.

Overall, this anime raises more questions than answers but at this point, we all just don’t f*cking care because it’s so horrendous and hilarious, we don’t even want to know anymore. The story, characters, animation, action, sound and all the quality is just so bad that it makes you think if there could be anymore that could be lower than this. Hence, the only thing way more interesting than watching this show is to read all the sarcastic comments about it! OMG. I was already laughing at all the bad stuffs here, now I am laughing at all the bad reviews calling this an absolute masterpiece! Oh man. This really made my day in such uncertain times. I think I’ve seen it all and nothing can surprise me anymore. Because when those guys from WHO suddenly come out and give startling discoveries about the Corona virus being the real Earthlings trying to kill us human invaders who invaded Earth, I think I know where they get their BS science from. And then it’s time to laugh real hard again. Or die laughing. Either way is good for me :-).

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!!! I see that all of us made it through that year. I know that all of us want to start the new year fresh, filled with hope and change but I’m going to do a little experiment. I’m going to post the first blog of the year with somewhat a perverted topic. After all, last year was pretty twisted and perverted itself so it’s not going to make any difference or bring anymore surprises, right? Is this going to jinx the rest of the year? We shall soon see. Yeah…

For the longest time, men have always been fascinated about the act of sex. Or to be more specific, acts of porn. It is still a taboo subject in many parts of the world and society. But for the brave who are willing to defy the norm and provide us with such great materials, we salute them because here is the list of Anime Characters Who Draw Lewd Manga For A Living. Hey, not only porn stars rake in the cash, okay.

Kakushi Goto (Kakushigoto)
Trying to earn a living as an adult mangaka is already hard. Making it even harder is how he has to hide it all from his young innocent daughter and keep this secret like forever. Well, forever didn’t quite last…

Sagiri Izumi (Eromanga-sensei)
She is only 13 and she already is a prodigy in drawing erotic stuffs. It is no wonder she denies her Eromanga-sensei moniker when confronted by her brother, Masamune who is the author of an erotic series that she helps to illustrates.

Taketo Akutagawa (R-15)
Genius porn author! He is going to take the world by storm by becoming the greatest porn author ever! But first, he needs to attend a special school to fine tune all his creative juices. Porn will never be the same again. Although our carnal desires have remained so since time immemorial… He might not be making money yet but I’m sure he will once he graduates with flying colours.

Hanasaki Horie (Midara Na Ao-chan Benkyou Ga Dekinai)
Imagine your father who is the author of bestselling erotic novel series that would make any woman who read your works want to rush to bed and make loooooooove! And he had the gall to name his daughter based on some porn word…Definitely the Master Bait…

Otome Saotome (Shimoneta To Iu Gainen Ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu Na Sekai)
Commissioned to draw lewd stuffs as propaganda material to be distributed all over school, she’s the only one on the list who can skilfully draw lewd stuffs with her mouth!!! When your hands are tied, literally… And when she starts, she can’t stop her erotic passionate drawing fervour! Oh yeah. Her mouth game is so good!

Ahegao W Peace (Ore Ga Suki Nano Wa Imouto Dakedo Imouto Ja Nai)
Need the best erotic illustrator to illustrate and flesh out all the naughty bits of your story? She’s the woman for the job. Definitely satisfaction guaranteed. And her name even says it all!

Yuuki Aito (Mangaka-san To Assistant-san To)
You draw an ero manga but yet you don’t know stuffs and need some referencing. So how? The internet! Nah, just kidding. He ‘harasses’ his female employees to show their pantsu all in the name of reference material. Your guess is as good as mine the responses he’ll get. Seriously, the internet should’ve been way much easier, just saying…

Tarou Jiroumaru (Hanasaku Iroha)
Originally a romance novelist, but I guess just like any desperate writers facing the writer’s block, he had to turn to writing erotic adult stories just to pay for his seemingly permanent stay at the inn.

Miu Amano (Blend S)
Big sister type is the leader of a doujin circle that draws adult comics. Now, if you can blend in both tropes together, it’ll be the ultimate porn for those who love this kind of fetish. Fortunately or not, the anime didn’t go that far.

Kenji Aoyama (Futarigurashi)
Not much to say about this character since I stumbled upon it and didn’t complete watching the series. He’s just a guy who is aspiring to become an erotic mangaka but his gender bender cousin who is living with him, there’s a danger this might turn gay or something…

Jiraiya (Naruto)
Wasn’t a fan of this anime so I didn’t really see many episodes. But I did find out that he is the part time author of the adult novels called Icha Icha series that details his failed rejections by Tsunade. Yeah, he is so much more successful in making money out of this (cheque filled with zeroes?!) than getting his love through. Such sad irony…

Because Sex Sells!
This list is not meant to be exhaustive but that is so far those I could find. After all, it gets really hard trying to legitimately use the internet to search this topic because it’ll always bring up actual porn search results! No kidding! Sorry Google, not what I’m searching for! There are some I didn’t include like Hitoha Hongou (Araburu Kisetsu No Otome Domo Yo). Her editor pressured her into writing something erotic and not porn. With no experience, she eventually targets her own pathetic teacher and things get weird. And so I didn’t include her because she didn’t end up doing such manga. There’s also Hana Oshiroi (Ben-To) because this shy girl likes drawing erotic yaoi BL stuffs. This is just her hobby and as far as I know, she doesn’t do it as a job but for her own personal pleasure. Same case for Sora Tenkuuji (Dokyuu Hentai HxEros). She just draws erotic manga because it somewhat helps power up her H-energy. Don’t see her making money out of it. Does she?

Then there’s Itsuki Hashima (Imouto Sae Ireba Ii). He isn’t mainly an erotic writer. But Itsuki loves little sisters so much that he is willing to go so far at one point just to write erotic stuffs on them. Of course, rejected by his editor. Even his novelist colleague, Nayuta may be a pervert but it didn’t state she is mainly an erotic novelist. And Kaiko may love drawing pantsu on her characters but she isn’t also technically a main erotic illustrator. All in all, as long as we humans lust for desires of the flesh, there’ll be such mediums to provide and satiate our carnal desires indefinitely. And if books aren’t enough anymore, there are always the videos… Damn, so much to see!!!!!!!!!

Top Bishoujos of 2020

December 27, 2020

Tsk, tsk, tsk. It should be no surprise by now. Seeing how things went in 2020, nothing can shock me at this point. Or can it? If you have been following my blog, the last blog of the year is reserved for this special post. Yes, a shamelessly special blog post about the most beautiful 2D girls in animes I have watched for the year. Ever since 2015, the number has been steadily declining. It is no different this year. So you think it couldn’t get lower than last year? Well, it did. Guess who many made it to the nomination list? Yup. Only 15. Fifteen. Hey, got to be thankful that there is still a list for me to make. So without further ado and let’s get over this year already, here are the Top 10 Bishoujos of 2020 listed in alphabetical order:

1) Altena Elgard Ratis (Hataage! Kemono Michi)

2) Charlotte Roselei (Black Clover)

3) Chizuru Ichinose (Kanojo Okarishimasu)

4) Keine Kanzaki (Choujin Koukousei-tachi Wa Isekai Demo Yoyuu De Ikinuku You Desu)

5) Kotoko Iwanaga (Kyokou Suiri)

6) Mami Nanami (Kanojo Okarishimasu)

7) Mir Lotus (Geneshaft)

8) Sorane Matsuyama (Oshi Ga Budoukan Ittekuretara Shinu)

9) Sumireko “Pansy” Sanshokuin (Ore Wo Suki Nano Wa Omae Dake Ka Yo)

10) Veronica Thorne (Fairy Gone)

Congratulations to the top 10. As for the balance 5, they are (in alphabetical order of course): Ariadoa (Kono Yuusha Ga Ore Tueee Kuse Ni Shinchou Sugiru), Elise Katharina von Hohenheim (Hachi-nan Tte Sore Wa Nai Deshou), Lily Aquaria (Black Clover), Maria Campbell (Otome Game No Hametsu Flag Shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou Ni Tensei Shiteshimatta) and Ruka Sarashina (Kanojo Okarishimasu). What’s this that I should have just converted this to a top 15 bishoujo? Consistency is key, people! Just like how the number of hot 2D chicks keep declining year after year?! Oh well. Quality over quantity. Speaking of consistency. Sure didn’t forget about these 2 either (yeah, and they’re probably mad at 2020 too):

At this point of course there is a danger to even wonder if there will be a top 10 list. The chances are there but I am sure that when you hit the most bottom of the barrel, the only way left is to go up, up and up, right?! Unless I haven’t hit the bottom yet… That’s scary. Oh, blame it all on 2020. And somehow we’re all keeping that baseless positive faith that 2021 will be so much better. Lest 2020 was just a minor preview of 2021… Gotta stay positive now. Long Live Anime Bishoujos!

Anime Awards of 2020

December 26, 2020

Wow. What an eventful year 2020 has been. To some it must have been interesting. To others it must have been strange. And I’m sure to the rest and many, it was just plain sh*tty! Yeah. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs of this wretched year too. Especially when there was a period of time when some of the animes that I was watching got delayed or postponed! Oh, the horror! Damn, first world problems. But thankfully, here I am now and I have got to see a bunch of series that I thought I might never have ever touched had not the Corona virus wreak havoc. So can’t say it’s entirely a bad year for me. So for the second consecutive year, let me roll out the top and best anime stuffs for 2020. And some of the worst ones too:

Best 2020 Anime Series:

Kimetsu No Yaiba

Michael Jackson lives! Just kidding. Interesting storyline, amazing characters and most important of all, the intense action scenes proves that there are other series out there that could rival Shingeki No Kyojin. Never knew that cutting down demons was also as good as taking down Titans.

Other notable mentions:
* Kono Yuusha Ga Ore Tueee Kuse Ni Shnchou Sugiru: Best isekai anime ever when you have an overpowered hero being overly cautious for his own good and to everyone’s detriment! Also, Aki Toyosaki such a darling as Ristarte.
* Hataage! Kemono Michi: Wrestler guy wants to open a pet shop in another fantasy world. Blonde princess gets German suplex and showed the whole world her pantsu. Oh, I know the series is more than that but whatever…
* Jashin-chan Dropkick S2: More dropkick and Jashin bloody massacre madness!!! What else do you expect?!
* Last Period: Owarinaki Rasen No Monogatari: Great parodies that left me laughing my ass out loud. Wiseman best characters of the series!
* Appare-Ranman: A couple of Japanese guys, a white, a black, a native Indian, a Chinese, an European white and a couple of Latino bros go on a road trip across America. Oops, I mean a race across America.

Worst 2020 Anime Series:

Maou-sama Retry

WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS ATROCITY THAT WASTED OUR TIME?! Bad story, bad animation, uninteresting characters that make us think that everybody on the production team didn’t want to do this and purposely made it so bad just to get fired. But they didn’t and we’ve got 12 episodes of revolting crap!

Other notable mentions:
* Hatena Illusion: Could have been sharing the top spot for the sh*ttiest anime of the season if not for reasons being gaugau gau! Gaugaugaugau gau gaaaaaauuuuuuu gaugau gau!!! DO YOU NOT SEE WHY THIS SUCKS?!
* Arifureta Shokugyou De Sekai Saikyou: THIS IS GETTING ANOTHER SEASON???!!! When the main character tried stuffing a huge pole in a horny dragon’s ass…
* Shin Chuuka Ichiban: What a way to destroy a legacy with this remake… Thankfully the original one is still resonating inside my heart.
* Samurai Gun: So episodic and unrelated that I’m not even sure what to make out of it.
* Gangsta: Okay, I know this is unfair. This is only here because of the FREAKING CLIFF-HANGER ENDING!!!!!!!!!!! Otherwise this is quite cool and good with its bloody violent gory action sequences.
* Tower Of God: Okay, very unfair for this series to be here. Shouldn’t be here at all. Only so because F*CK RACHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weirdest 2020 Anime:


Uhm… Aside the great bloody action, do you understand what’s going on? Some guy looking for a hot chick for eternity… I think…

Other notable mentions:
* Rikei Ga Koi Ni Ochita No De Shoumei Shitemita: Trying to explain love via science? WEIRD!
* C: The Money Of Soul And Possibility Control: So this is what they do with loads of money, huh? Saving the economy of the world, huh? Money makes the world go round, huh? Truly, Money, money, money, must be funny, in a rich man’s world!

Best 2020 Anime Short & Ecchi Anime:

Anime De Wakaru Shinryounaika

Do you like dick jokes with sexy nurses? You’ve come to the right anime! What a way to highlight the myriad of mental illnesses with twisted and dirty minded nurses making sexual subtexts. How enlightening and entertaining! I guess all of us have some sort of mental illness whether we know it or not!

Worst Anime Short:

The Irresponsible Galaxy Tylor


Other notable mentions:
* Tenka Hyakken Meiji-kan E Youkoso: I didn’t play the game, I just didn’t get it. Enough said.

Weirdest 2020 Ecchi Anime:

Ishuzoku Reviewers

Not going to lie on you about this one. Watching guys humping all sorts of different species just made me feel weird out rather than horny. Doesn’t mean if one has a dick, one has to put it into all sorts of vaginas that walk the land.

Other notable mentions:
* Val x Love: Ugliest guy gets to molest hot beautiful Valkyries to power up to save the world. WHAAAAAAAAT????!!!!
* Dokyuu Hentai HxEros: Using the power of horniness to destroy alien bugs to save the world. WHAAAAAAAAT????!!!!
* Kandagawa Jet Girls: How do you turn jet ski into such a sleazy sport?! This is your answer…

Best 2020 Romance Anime:

Ore Wo Suki Nano Wa Omae Dake Yo

A bit misleading because of all the romance anime series that I watched, I guess I prefer this one. Some witty lines here and there, I guess it’s pretty good.

Other notable mentions:
* High Score Girl II: Oh well, it was a bittersweet ending for our arcade lovebirds. And not enough retro arcade games!!!

Most Boring 2020 Romance Anime:

Yesterday Wo Uttate

Definitely not one of the best (or near it) but at the same it isn’t the worst. Just boring. So if you ever get rejected and then friendzoned by your crush, just fall back on your backup girl.

Best 2020 Anime Song:

Daddy Daddy Do (Kaguya-sama Wa Kokurasetai S2)

Sequel does live up to the catchy tune of its first season. Like as though this is its spiritual successor.

Other notable mentions:
* Ikouze Paradise (Ishuzoku Reviewers): Imagine YMCA with sexy lyrics.
* Good Night (Itai No Wa Iya Nano De Bougyoryoku Ni Kyokufuri Shitai To Omoimasu): Cool acoustic guitar pickings amidst the tropical samba feel is the only thing I look forward in this boring generic clichéd overpowered character in a virtual MMORPG.
* Tsuri No Sekai E (Houkago Teibou Nisshi): Fishing might be boring but this jazzy catchy piece might just make it all bearable.

Weirdest 2020 Anime Song:

Jikuu No Mayoi Hito (Hachi-nan Tte Sore Wa Nai Deshou)

WOAH! Did I just hear a song that summons the Demon King????!!!! Is this song what satanic cultists listen to???!!!

Other notable mentions:
* Hajimete No Kakumei (Choujin Koukousei-tachi Wa Isekai Demo Yoyuu De Ikinuku You Desu): What… WHAT?! I felt this song grabbed me by the balls…

That is all for this year. Thousand apologies if it is still somewhat incomplete and not much of a major improvement from last year. Yeah, I’m going to blame 2020 as the culprit. Everyone does! So hopefully that next year would bring better animes (based on my guts and experience, not very likely) but thanks to my on the fence stance, so much more animes are mostly lingering in the average zone. That’s why you don’t really see the animes I have seen for the year on this list. Not notable enough to be listed? Or have I forgotten about them? Oh well, this year is done. Better to quickly move on and look forward to the next. See you again then. Same time, same place, next year! 2021 will be the one! Hopefully…

Shokugeki No Souma S5

December 25, 2020

You know, when you’re done finishing the desserts, suddenly some more come out. But you didn’t order this. Oh, the waiter and chef insist you eat it. Not the kind who would want to waste food, you stay behind and try to finish it because it would be rude to the establishment to also refuse, right? Yup. And that is how many felt for Shokugeki No Souma S5. After munching through all the godly cuisines and delicacies over the years and seasons, it seems this series has already overstayed its welcome. They said this would be the final season since the manga has already ended back in mid-2019. Let’s hope it will be. Because I don’t know if we can take any more unwanted desserts and not risk having tummy discomfort.

Episode 1
Beach episode! Sorry, not filler fanservice. As Erina explains, Totsuki students will have to pass this exam by dividing themselves into teams and working at the beach house. After 3 days, they must make sales of at least 3 million to pass! This includes food preparation and all. To even the odds, the new Elite Ten will be their own team and are given a dilapidated hut as handicap. Also helping Erina administer this is a new teacher, Suzuki. Man, such hot handsome hunk. No wonder many girls are swooning over him. But looks like Suzuki and Souma are giving each other the rivalry eye. Please no BL awakening here! So as we see everyone getting up to business on the first day, the Elite Ten starts off fixing their rundown hut. Next day, they’re still at it and worse, arguing among each other for the pettiest things! Oh man. Can they do it? Because of this, Ken Dakekanba (the guy challenged Souma in many Shokugeki and loss in all of them) takes this chance to steal their customers and is raking in the profits with his expensive lobster. Man, people have the money to buy that? Oh well, it is limited edition only. I call it daylight robbery. Anyway, Dakekanba hopes Elite Ten will fail because this means other students including himself will have a chance to take their seats. But you know how it’s going to turn out, right? On the final day, suddenly the beach is empty. Why, they are all attracted by the addictive fragrant aroma of the Elite Ten. Despite doing yakisoba, it is the egg that is killing it. But can they get the desired sales? Not if Souma, Takumi and Ryou are working like mad horses. Yeah, many are buying multiple packets! Dakekanba is given a free sample. On the house. And you bet this guy now believes this yakisoba is worth billions! No, trillions! Damn, I hope this is not Zimbabwean currency. In the end, Elite Ten passes with 3.5 million. Hooray! As they talk about their plans for summer vacation, Dojima has to rain on their parade because looks like details of the prestigious tournament is out. Remember BLUE? This is going to be their summer vacation.

Episode 2
A team will consist of 3 members for those participating in BLUE. Souma thinks he is the top dog so he automatically qualifies, right? Wrong! While it seems unfair that Erina was already invited and hence is somewhat qualified (although not as part of a team), she initiates a preliminary round for all to participate. So with 100 judges, they are to make soup and the top 3 will participate in BLUE. Damn, is everybody going to make 100 dishes in a short time?! Anyway, we see the first half breeze through all the weird soups. Because we got so many characters, you bet they’re going to fast forward a few. Uhm, did they miss out a few? Like Kuga. Where’s Kuga’s part?! Anyway, the results: Third place: Souma! Oh geez, top Elite Ten barely made it?! Second place: Takumi! Oh geez, Souma lost to this dude?! First place: Drum rolls… MEGUMI!!! OMFG!!! WAIT?! REALLY?! I actually predicted her as a joke but I didn’t think it was going to be true!!! OMFG!!! HOLY SH*T!!! Yeah, something about her miso soup encompasses the taste of all of Japan. Eating-cum-drinking her soup is like touring the whole of Japan. Whatever. Credit to her fun times with her friends that she came up with this. Whatever. And though we see the rest lose be a very razor slim margin, I guess they’re still losers. Elsewhere, we see a horrifying result as Jouichirou lost unanimously in a cooking showdown to a mysterious guy whom I suspect is Suzuki! A few days later, Suzuki confronts Souma and wants to challenge him to a Shokugeki. Too formal? Okay, a friendly BLUE preliminary then. Hey, I thought Souma did away with all that red tape? Anyway, Suzuki’s goal is to marry Erina! So by beating Souma, this will ensure he is the best cook for Erina. Of course Souma won’t let him have her yet as he has yet to defeat her. Wanna bet Erina was just passing by and heard the tail end of it? Yeah, she heard the guys were fighting over her love! Can’t blame her for passing out in the middle of the hallway. Megumi is made the judge since she is the top BLUE preliminary girl, right? Souma knows he is no ordinary chef and is hiding something. So if he beats him, Suzuki must reveal his secret.

Episode 3
Souma goes first and presents his tonkatsu with cheese. Definitely good. Now it’s Suzuki’s turn. Also the same tonkatsu dish? But it is lighter in things so yeah, it blows them all away! Safe to say, Suzuki wins this and as part of the deal, he takes Souma’s knife. Souma is shocked to see him in possession of one of Jouichirou’s knife. Suzuki admits that he challenged him and beat him for it. Here’s another secret: His real name isn’t Suzuki but Asahi Saiba. So a relative? He takes Erina away but maintains marrying her is still real. Of course she rejects him. With Jouichirou making a rare return home to talk to Souma about Asahi, the same can be said about Dojima talking to Erina so we don’t have to waste time. Jouichirou first met Asahi 10 years ago during his travels to America. Asahi was from an orphanage and was taken in by his cooking. He wanted to be his disciple and he allowed it because his abandoned looks reminded him of Azami. So because of Jouichirou away taking care of Asahi, that is how Azami became abandoned and a monster? Hmm… Of course Jouichirou had to stop this as he realized he had a family to go home too. And yeah, Asahi was abandoned (although he did properly say goodbye). So is Asahi back for revenge? But here’s some additional info. There is a shady group of chefs known as Noir. You bet they’re the kind who resort to unholy cooking techniques, right? Anyway, looks like Noir is invited to participate in BLUE since some people thought that chefs from respectable side from society isn’t enough. Uh huh. Somebody wants trouble. And the current leader of Noir is Asahi. That night, Asahi and his Noir groupie sneak into Erina’s room so that he can officially challenge to her this proposal. He will marry her if he wins BLUE. After all, she rejected him the conventional way, right? Erina snaps by thinking he is trying to insult Totsuki and their cooking but looks like the aroma of Noir’s cooking is enough to bring her to her knees! Oh sh*t! Might as well get married now. Also this marriage will mean the cooking societies from both side of the divide will fall under his rule. Ah, now I see… Jouichirou is now ready to teach Souma the secret of becoming a great chef. I’m thinking if Souma hasn’t figured it out by this time, he isn’t cut out to be one…

Episode 4
Totsuki is here at BLUE. As explained by Bookmaster, the big boss of WGO, the chefs have to pass several gates AKA trials until they get to the main castle where the real finals will take place. Here comes Asahi and his Noir gang. Damn, are they a bunch of psychotic murderers?! There’s a killer clown, a killer punk and a hot killer bunny chick that could be a psycho butcher! However Souma won’t get his rematch with Asahi here. It seems there are a few that are seeded. As for Erina, she isn’t seeded but will take her special trial somewhere else? So the first trial has everyone split into different groups. Souma is in a group whereby the WGO adjudicator, Rantabi explains all they have to do is create a dish that satisfies this dying old dude. Yup, make his last supper. Oh, did I mention this guy was also a cook from Noir (he cooked for the underground worlds from his youth days)? Some chefs aren’t happy with the vague theme so they have a few minutes to ‘interview’ him. They think they got it and start cooking. The confident ones go first but instantly fail! Yeah, the Noir ones easily pass… Is this one-sided? Old fart thinks Souma is mocking him when he serves him a simple confectionary. But when he takes a bite, damn he turns into the Hulk???!!! Brimming with vitality! So apparently Souma put some monkfish whatever inside. Anyway, Souma doesn’t like his last supper idea. Even if he is too old to cook for himself, he should continue enjoying others who cook for him. Hence this is just an appetizer. He should explore more and if he is tired of it all, come to his diner where he will truly serve his last meal! I guess the old guy takes up his offer and then passes him. Unknown to Souma, he has a real gun behind his back to shoot himself once this is over. Because cooking is his life, he felt useless when he couldn’t stand in the kitchen anymore. But now Souma has given him the motivation to continue living. Souma reunites with his pals who also pass theirs. Takumi had to cook for babies and Megumi for pets?! I thought this is supposed to be the world’s fanciest and best gourmet competition???!!! Even for this stage! WTF???!!! But guess who is waiting them in the next trial? Why, it’s Tsukasa! So he is only seeded this far?

Episode 5
Tsukasa feels relieved seeing familiar people. This trial will have the chefs create a dish worth $100 from convenient store foods. It is going to be hard since convenient store foods are at low and affordable prices. Oh, you wonder why Rantabi mentions the special rule of each chef getting 2 tries. Because Souma creates his dish so fast and serves first. Yeah. He thought he is going to be a winner but Rantabi values his dish at -$14! WTF?! He just mashed up ingredients and wasted it. So that’s the cost of his ingredients? Try again. Tsukasa presents his dish and you can tell Rantabi got raped by it. So is she hinting that money isn’t enough to value it and is she going to pay with her body?! Anyway for the sake of this series, she values his dish at $583!!! Yeah, there’s some explanation how he brought out all the different attributes of the foods and make it work together but I don’t get it. With many others failing their second try, now it’s Souma’s turn. Rantabi isn’t impressed with his osechi set. Even her first bite she fails him. But what’s this? She can’t stop eating?! Something about the free flow of the food that has her want to eat more in no particular order. So does Rantabi have to pay with her body too?! Oh well, he just barely passed with $100. Meanwhile Erina has passed her first trial by defeating all the first stage’s losers. None beat her. Now she has to deal with the second stage losers… Also, Takumi and Megumi pass theirs with their dish valued over $100. Souma learns from Tsukasa that Rindou was actually invited to participate in BLUE but turned it down. She’s busy chasing off poachers of rare ingredients. Since it is rumoured those poachers have connections with Noir, it is a reason why Tsukasa entered BLUE to help ease Rindou’s burden. Before the next stage starts, Bookmaster ups the ante with the winner of BLUE becoming her personal chef. That’s a big thing, right? But in exchange, she will change the rules of the game.

Episode 6
Bookmaster explains she has tasted everything the world has to offer. She feels so bored now and that’s why she brought in Noir to bring cooking to a whole new level. She has this military babe from Noir, Sarge to demonstrate. Many mock her for using her chainsaw to cook! But wait till you taste her meat. Yeah. Absolutely delicious! No fight! Then the other Noir members also display their weird underworld skills and they too pass. Of course our heroes do their specialty and they also pass. Yeah, they fast forward this section that they didn’t even bother to explain or tell what dish they make. Now that they’re into the real finals, it will be a knockout tournament. The first match pits Souma against Sarge and the theme will be a Christmas cake. Sarge this time not only uses her chainsaw but her sledgehammer to break the chocolate and TNT to bomb the pastry in the oven!!! OMFG!!! Don’t worry, the oven is specially made to withstand the explosion. Her final cluster bomb cake of course has the judges in their usual super exaggerated reaction. It’s not only Christmas they’re experiencing but the New Year and their birthday all into one!!! Yeah, hope their stomachs don’t explode. Good. It didn’t. What’s Souma gonna do? So he is going to use a mini wooden ice cream spoon and stuffs he bought from the convenience store to make his perfect midsummer Christmas cake?

Episode 7
Souma explains how he used natural ingredients to make his cake, blah, blah, blah. The judges are having a tough time decide and this makes Sarge angry because it means Souma’s dish is on par with hers. But Souma’s dish hasn’t finished yet. Enabling the ‘fireworks’, I guess more fancy ‘explosions’ that send the judges into more ecstasy. Sarge is baffled where he got this strength of his. Cue for flashback how Jouichirou forced Souma to come up with impossible stuffs at the diner. Because they are not a fancy restaurant, they have serve common food as well as surprising dishes so as not to drive away their customers. And with that, because Souma took into consideration his customers’ feelings, that is the winning point for him. The next match pits Tsukasa against Asahi and the theme is poussin chicken. To make it more interesting, Asahi wants Tsukasa’s grater if he wins. Otherwise, Asahi will also give whatever he wants. Both guys finish cooking the same time. The judges deliberate. More sexy food rape for you all. No wonder the judges are all females this time. But it seems the judges cannot forget Asahi’s dish despite Tsukasa’s one also as excellent. With all that explanation, it seems Asahi’s crossed knives skill is to absorb the skills of others if he touches their tools. Previously he sought help from his Noir members but they refused as they aren’t loyal to him so he beat them down and stole their tools. Tsukasa’s dish may be perfect but Asahi’s dish surpasses perfection. WHAT THE F*CK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???!!! WTF???!!! With that, Asahi wins and takes his grater. Oh Tsukasa looking real down after that. Here, a cup of tea from Souma to calm him down. Hey, at least he isn’t anxious. Because in all seriousness, Tsukasa’s message to Souma is not to lose to that guy. Goes without saying. Next match is Takumi versus Don Kama who is from Noir. This is a team match so the chefs are allowed to pick somebody to help them. Takumi picks Isami.

Episode 8
However it seems Don Kama’s ‘friends’ have taken Isami hostage so he’s not showing up at the venue any time soon. He then calls his hot chicks as his supporters. Wait. Those are trannies!!! Oh, I get it now. Don Kama… Okama… In this match, they have to create amuse-bouche via teamwork. So Don Kama and his trannies keep shaking the shaker to create their unique amusing amuse-bouche. They’re done and have let the judges taste them so Takumi still waiting? Apparently he has a backup and it’s Souma! Don Kama calls foul on this because changing supporters is against the rules and can be disqualified. However, rule change! Bookmaster allows it. And if Don Kama continues to insist, they’ll investigate why Isami didn’t show up… So it might look like Takumi and Souma are butting heads like always. Heck, they still are! But when they get down to real business, they’re just amazing. Don Kama cannot believe his eyes that Souma is as good as Takumi using his special knife. He thought only the brothers can make such miracle happen. You see, back at Totsuki, Souma and Takumi challenged each other to another Shokugeki after they lose. You win some, you lose some. Sore losers who don’t know when to give up. One Shokugeki after another. So you bet Souma has gotten at least better in using this knife. They come up with a dish that mixes terrapin and cheese. An odd combination but the foul smell covered up by those nuts. In the end, it is safe to say the judges unanimously went with Takumi-Souma’s dish. No second thoughts. That should shut the tranny up. Isami just arrived to congratulate his brother. Thanks to Kuga’s guys beating up those punks and bringing him here. The gang then get news of Erina’s whereabouts. They realize she has been defeating all the losers singlehandedly and is still doing so. With that, she is supposed to qualify for the main tournament but Bookmaster doesn’t seem pleased.

Episode 9
Erina heads for her first match and destroys the Noir opponent! Not even worth showing us! The final match for the day is Megumi against some Chinese medicine bushman? Despite all the dramatic threats that he is an assassin using poison, f*cking sh*t Megumi owns him with a unanimous win! Not even worth showing us! Souma and co didn’t like how Erina has been given unfair treatment so they sneak into Bookmaster’s tower and eavesdrop on her talking with Erina. Guess what? Bookmaster AKA Mana is her mother!!! It seems she doesn’t want Erina’s God’s tongue but Erina will prove otherwise. After she leaves, Bookmaster ushers her friends in. They find it weird she ‘eats’ via IV drops. She then summons Takumi because in the next round she will face Erina. She wants him to do all it takes to defeat her and if he wants Isami’s help, she will have no qualms in allowing it. Later Anne explains to them that Bookmaster’s identity is a secret so the public doesn’t know she is Erina’s mother. This means she also has the same God’s tongue ability. However it drove her to despair and that ability caused her unable to eat normally. That’s why she’s using IV drops and the reason she left the family when Erina was still young. For the second round matches, it will be a double show with Erina vs Takumi as well as Asahi vs Megumi. Asahi talks to Erina and knows about Bookmaster as her mother. He is confident with his powers, he can make a dish she wants. Erina disagrees and will be the one to win this. Megumi overheard this and wants to double their match as a Shokugeki. If she wins, stop hurting Erina. Okay, but if she loses, she must stop being friends with her. Anyway the gist of the matches: Despite Takumi’s gallant effort, a unanimous victory for Erina. The same can be said for Megumi. Yup, all the judges vote for Asahi. Asahi buoyed by his victory, sends a public message to Bookmaster asking for her ‘blessing’. Later Asahi tries to brag and instil fear in Erina about his win. Sewing doubts in her mind that because Erina’s skills are the same, the reason why she can’t make a different unique dish. That’s why he is so certain he will win. Any objections? Souma does.

Episode 10
Too bad. No bad boy showdown yet. We see Erina talking to Souma and Megumi about her potential marriage to Asahi. However Souma isn’t worried. Based on the tournament bracket, he will face Asahi in the semis first and only Erina in the finals. Still, Erina is more than worried. In fact, she is almost losing it because she is having thoughts that it might be better for her to lose to Asahi since he is the only one who can save her mom. Doing so might make them all happy. Of course all that doesn’t matter to Souma. He is going to defeat Asahi and that’s it. Souma is just upset she isn’t honest and can’t say what she wants to say to those she wants to talk to. And so we breeze through the other matches. All unknown chefs and Noir members just blast away like that! Thank goodness we don’t even care about them. With Erina booking her place in the finals, it is the semis between Souma and Asahi. Of course, some flashback why Jouichirou isn’t worried about Souma. Let’s go back to a time when Souma’s mom, Tamako was still alive and cooking. In fact, she was the one who taught Souma how to cook. But her cooking is like Russian roulette. Sometimes she is good and other times she just sucks. We know where he gets his bad sense of cooking from. One day she died and instead of wallowing in despair, father and son have their first cooking showdown. Jouichirou and Asahi meet for the first time at BLUE. More flashback shows Jouichirou told Asahi he has to go home because Souma just lost his mom and it’s only natural he has to be with him. Jouichirou invited Asahi to come along but he declined. And because of that he blamed Souma for taking Jouichirou away from him?! WTF???!!! And so Asahi is going to give his son a beat down. We’ll see. To show that Asahi isn’t just the crowd’s favourite, hence the return of Polar Star members and other Totsuki friends to rally behind Souma. The theme will be to combine the cuisines of France, Italy, China, India and Turkey into 1 dish. We see Asahi making a head start using his crossed knives from all the chefs he defeated. Yeah. Who the f*ck those chefs?! Asahi claims he can advance than a certain guy and create any dish he wants. Souma laughs it off. His skills feel like cheat codes and that they’re on the same level.

Episode 11
Souma has an idea. He is going to make all 5 different cuisines and mash them together! Yeah, the crowd sounds so flabbergasted and disappointed. Meanwhile Alice and Hinako are here to see Erina. Upon Senzaemon’s request, they brought Azami here. So I guess daddy has to take responsibility and watch through this, huh? Now their dishes are ready, it’s time for tasting. The judges are attracted to the great aroma of Asahi’s dish. It’s a pie. And when they put in their mouth, you bet all the expected praising and reaction will be flying. Even when Bookmaster tastes it, her Gifting is so great that the audience has their clothes swirling about in the air! WTF?! So good his dish that the judges don’t want to eat anything else? Yeah, Souma’s fried rice looks disappointing. Until Rantabi forces a spoon into their mouths, they can’t stop eating! With more praising and reaction flying, the clincher is that how each grain of rice is coated with some French egg, making each of them bursting like some omelette. I don’t know. I didn’t eat it. Bookmaster’s reaction also has her Gifting strip everyone! Souma explains that fried rice was the first dish Tamako taught him. It was a very risky one because mom often failed in this basic dish. Souma tells Asahi that he might have all tools and skills but there is one flavour he doesn’t know and that is the taste of failure. Asahi shrugs it off and doubles down that as the best he doesn’t need such crap. Okay. Now we’re done with that, more importantly… Who is going to be the winner?!

Episode 12
It seems Bookmaster’s Gifting is not an ordinary one. Because Gifting is merely disrobing of clothes, the clothes here get shredded into pieces! What’s this Bursting they say?! So with Souma’s dish having Gifting and Bursting combo, I guess you know what it means. Despite Asahi’s dish taste good, it feels empty if you removed all the borrowed elements. Essentially it isn’t even his own dish. The judges deliberate and give a unanimous victory to Souma! Asahi gives Jouichirou’s knife back to Souma but he doesn’t want him. He fought him fair and square so keep it. Asahi remembers Jouichirou told him the key to become a good chef was having someone who you can give all your cooking to. Jouichirou had Tamako. Asahi accepts defeat and leaves. Oh, he is leaving Noir too? His loyalists like Sarge and Don Kama also do the same. With Souma and co buoyed over his victory, Bookmaster cautions him that dish isn’t even close to what she is seeking for so don’t get ahead of yourself. You think everyone is liven up with Souma-Erina finals but why is Erina being gloomy and not talking to anybody? Hope it isn’t final jitters. We see Azami and Mana talking together. Time to reminisce old times? When he was a cook at her place, she hated his dishes for being empty. So Azami only had the goal to improve his dishes to make her accept him. Eventually he did and they got married. After giving birth to Erina, Mana became shocked that Erina too had God’s tongue. It despaired her to think Erina would also suffer the same fate. But Mana’s progression was too fast for Azami to help, that’s why she left. Now we hear Erina’s gloomy monologue that she thought Asahi’s crossed knives would save mom. But Souma defeated him and shattered that dream. Now Erina is worried she has to create her own dish to make mommy happy. And mommy didn’t even expect anything from her. No wonder she is so conflicted. The finals is here. Bookmaster will be the judge and the theme is to create a dish the world has never seen before. Now we hear from Senzaemon why he did all he did. He wanted to save Erina from such despair and decided to go against custom by not letting Erina study outside of Totsuki. With Soue’s help, they bring in all the prodigies around the world (Souma and friends) to Totsuki. He is going to save Mana by having her see that there is hope in Erina’s cooking. As Erina begins cooking, she gets more and more worried. You know this will affect her cooking, right? Cue for Souma to tell her off that if she’s going to cook like that, he won’t be happy with his win. Time to cook up a storm.

Episode 13
Souma cooks the first dish he cooked for Erina. But it’s not that tempura bowl but he incorporate it with Erina’s Eggs Benedict. We all know he put in the effort to make it way better so yeah. What’s the verdict? The reactions don’t lie so we see a new form of Gifting. In addition to everyone happily being naked, the building explodes???!!! So this is what you call the building ‘unrobing’???!!! WTF???!!! So will Erina finally be able to say it is delicious? DISGUSTING! Compared to the dish she is going to make. Thank goodness Erina is back in her groove. All you need to remember is to focus on the person whom you are cooking for. Erina’s dish must be so out of this world that we don’t even see it at all! Perhaps we commoners won’t understand. And just like that, Erina wins BLUE!!! Everyone celebrates this back at Polar Star Dorm but Souma is sulking because he lost. Typical of him. He wants to go on a journey to retrain himself. So if you’re wondering where the other characters of this series were, they were busy taking down Noir. How? Just cook a much better dish and those weak ass henchmen can’t resist! OMG! So easy! Now they’ll turn over a new leaf and disband?! WTF?! Just in time because that was when Souma defeated Asahi. Not only the local Noir but the international one too! Don’t know how Rindou did it but she did it. Erina isn’t here because she is welcoming Mana back to the mansion. Too bad Souma isn’t around and has left! With Erina being Bookmaster’s official chef, what’s this about Azami coming to say goodbye? Are you ready for this plot this? Asahi is Azami’s son or so it is hinted??!!! HOLY SH*T! Azami wants to leave the Nakiri family to help Asahi but Erina slaps him for being the worst. Instead, she goes to recruit Asahi to be her assistant chef for Mana. And so there are no more lonely people in the Nakiri family. Senzaemon’s plan paid off. 6 months later, Souma returns from his training journey around the world. He calls Erina to his diner to cook for her. Everyone is here to so he serves them that yucky peanut squid dish! Oh damn. Disgusting. Tentacle rape! Sure brings back the memories. That’s just the appetizer. Or appe-teaser! Hahaha! Because now the real cooking starts. Will Erina finally find his delicious cooking? One day…

Waifu Wars: Overstuffed! The Bill, Please!
Oh well… I hope there isn’t anymore. Is there?! Can we leave now? It’s already closing time and we don’t want to overstay our welcome. Seriously. Even if Erina and her mom were managed to be safe, they couldn’t save this series. Yeah, I know. It was a pretty normal and plain happy good ending. But I guess 2/3 things saved isn’t that bad! After coming all this way, you can’t really complain so much. After all, if it really sucked, you would’ve have not sit through all 5 seasons of it, right? Well… We always hope for the better… After all, the kind of food that tastes the best is always with your family and loved ones, right? The greatest missing ingredient was finally found. It’s no secret. Just that everybody was looking for the taste in the wrong sense. Not the taste of your tongue but the taste in your heart is that matters most! Damn, do I sound like a food philosopher now!

Many felt that this final season could be the worst since nobody asked for it and it’s like the producers had to do it just to have some closure for the series. It’s good if that was the reason but with such sentiments, I don’t think anybody cares anymore. Many felt that the series should have just ended at the first season but looking back in hindsight, had we not have more seasons, we would have been taking to the internet and complain that this series should get another season. GIVE ME ANOTHER SEASON. Our wish came true and look what we got? So for better or worse, the sequels that came out subsequently may not be able to top the first season but at least now we know in retrospect that this series is one of those shows that was only the best in its debut season. So for me, no regrets at all for this season despite not being anywhere near good.

Coming far enough, a long running series will have its usual set of problems setting is and the most obvious one being having a good story. This is what this season seems to lack and one of the many reasons why many do not like this finale. As you can see, the story of following the rise of Souma and friends, all the battles that they have fought were just internal battles. That’s right. They were all just inside Totsuki. Then you realize that the cooking world is just more than Totsuki itself and there’s the rest of the international world. Uh huh. What to do? Hold an international competition! And as cliché it might sound, they also throw in an underground cooking society called Noir. Oh. An evil organization using underhanded cooking tactics, huh? This is going to be interesting to see the Totsuki fellows take on an international criminal organization. And then… It just fizzles out like that! Oh dear. What happened?! And to think that Totsuki kids actually defeated them via cooking and not some violent force. What the f*ck sh*t is this logic?! Local enforcement can’t take this underground cooking down but a bunch of Totsuki young ones could?! I wonder how they even possess all those ungodly techniques in the first place! To see all their members give up like that, they’re just so weak ass. No wonder they were never a danger to anybody in the first place. No wonder it took them 5 seasons to finally show up as an ‘international’ antagonist. No wonder nobody every bothered to bring up their name before. Noir who? To think Noir never tasted any good cooking and food until Totsuki showed up… Pathetic. Serves them right getting disbanded.

Noir was never a threat in the first place. So it is such a shame that they were given this sort of treatment that it makes them just laughable. They make it sound like they are a danger and threat to all the legitimate cooks and chefs in the world but look what happened here at BLUE? Okay, maybe because of Asahi wasn’t a good leader and BLUE is just an insignificant portion to the entirety of Noir’s whatever other goals are. It would have been interesting to see Souma and co go around the world taking on Noir in life and death cooking competitions but if there is something that we have learnt from this season finale, I think we shouldn’t proceed anymore. And hence if you want to say that Noir are just useless here, so be it and I won’t blame you. After all, with BLUE’s tournament format, it doesn’t allow for Souma and friends to take them on in group matches. Could have been more interesting that way but then again, maybe not. Hence all those weird Noir characters were just forgettable. No wonder they dress so funny because that’s the only way you’re going to remember them if Noir’s name is mentioned. Jesus. The clown dude, that bunny killer with a strong arm babe, another dude like as though he came out from a Mad Max set… Yeah, I believe in the elimination rounds there were more Noir weirdos who look like they have potential but they just get defeated in a flash just like that! Thank goodness they’re characters we don’t care at all! And to think their ordinary members’ uniform is a black version of KKK! Yikes! And when they turned over the new leaf, their robe just turned white… Yikes!

And the other part of the story involves Erina’s family. Oh yeah. This girl is sure cursed. Last season we had daddy who wanted to monopolize her God’s tongue and hence all that Totsuki chaos thingy. And now, it’s mommy’s turn to torment Erina. I can’t blame her for having conflicted feelings and in some ways I do pity her despite her stuck up attitude. Her family has been broken ever since she was a young kid so it is no surprise that she wants to mend her family back. Behind the title of Bookmaster or having that God’s tongue ability, they are still mother and daughter. It’s not like they hate each other or they have some really sh*tty issues between them like other commoners do (say, gambling). So it’s just that stupid God’s tongue curse that made a mess out of the Nakiri family.

And that’s why the pseudo love war between Asahi and Souma over Erina. While Asahi is being obvious and bold to want Erina as his wife, we don’t hear it from Souma but we all know, right? Maybe. Hence sometimes watching at this BLUE competition is actually a tournament to win Erina’s hand in marriage. But looking at how it turned out in the end, thank goodness no marriage because no incest please. Imagine the unspeakable horror had Asahi x Erina happened. Erina hinting that Souma might be the person she is looking for in the end but we know her prideful nature at this point. Until she accepts Souma’s dish as delicious, no talk of marriage or even dating yet. Speaking of Asahi, this is yet another lost kid who is reeking familiar scents like Azami. Guess what? Again Jouichirou is the culprit! Damn, it feels like a running joke that this guy picks up kids into his care and had to leave them. Then those kids feel abandoned and decided to become the evil one to get back. But Jouichirou isn’t all the blame. Since Asahi is Azami’s kid, like father like son. Runs in the family that gloomy evil aura thingy. Like Mana and Erina having their own quirks too. Damn, the Nakiri family is just one big weird family. And in Asahi’s case, so this kid is just jealous of Souma, eh? Yeah well, he is Jouichirou’s kid and definitely your own kid takes priority, no? And perhaps making Erina his bride was just an excuse to rub it into Jouichirou’s face that he became a better chef than him? Thank goodness that in this series, it is your love filled cooking that wins the day. Not emptiness and borrowed abilities from others. Phew. So even if in the extreme case that Asahi beats Souma to face Erina in the finals, he still won’t win because he can only make dishes that are just improvements or combinations of the specialties of others he stole from. And oh, Asahi being the current leader of Noir, with him quitting (because big boss can do what he wants, I guess), is such great timing because Noir got disbanded. No need to fight to see who the next head is. Damn, I still can’t believe Noir is such a big pussy.

For a cooking tournament, it follows the same formula like before and there is only so much we can be amused. In this finale, I believe it has failed to stir up any new excitements. Even those in focus like Souma and co’s dishes, they’re the same ol’ formula of explaining their awesome dish with equally exaggerated over the top reactions from judges. Nothing really new at this point. Worse, there are so many other chefs that don’t matter that it makes you really wonder if this BLUE competition has any standard. Because they are so plain and unimportant that they don’t matter. Personally, I think it would’ve been a bit better had it been Totsuki vs Noir in one big group matches like they did last season with the rebels against the former Elite Ten members. So they only have Megumi and Takumi as side distractions and for variety, nothing else. As for their other friends, you will slowly notice how they will get to somehow join in as spectator in BLUE and express their usual comments and dramatic thoughts and expressions. So that we won’t feel awkward and their presence makes it feel like as though we’re still in Totsuki. Eventually all those characters from past seasons pop up to watch the finals, whether you remember them or not. Hence it is a waste not to see their talents this season except for the second episode whereby they breeze through everybody’s abilities as qualifying for BLUE. That’s the best you’ll ever get to see them in their cooking action. These characters should by now be better commentators than chefs!

The opening theme, Last Chapter by Nano Ripe almost sounded like it was in danger of turning gay! Especially the animation because right at the start we see cut out of the characters using kitchen utensils as music instruments! I don’t want another Hibike! Euphonium spoof like they did for Boku No Hero Academia S4’s opening! And like as though they fear us forgetting the character’s names, they pop up all over the opening credits. Just in case you forgot Alice or Nene or Ryou or whoever that you are supposed to remember but you couldn’t even if that character didn’t really appear in this season. The ending theme is Crossing Road by Mai Fuchigami. Sounds slow and dramatic but not to my liking anyway. This season’s familiar seiyuus lending their talents here are Jun Fukuyama as Asahi, Kenjiro Tsuda as Don Kama, Yuka Iguchi as Rantabi, Yuko Kaida as Tamako, Maaya Sakamoto as Bookmaster/Mana and Harumi Sakurai as Sarge (Lisanna in Fairy Tail).

Overall, this season finale is disappointing and not as exciting but it also brings in much relief because well, it’s the last one. Hopefully assuming there are not more sequel spinoffs and in worst case, a reboot! What needs to be said has already been said so it’s not nice to sound like a broken recorder. After all, this series itself overall isn’t actually that bad but it lacks the ingredients that would make us want to come back for more. Something new that we can look forward to. But instead we get more or less the same thing. Ironically enough, it has become an empty shell of itself. That’s why it is so true that variety is the spice of life. We’re just sick and bored of it that we’re not going to come back here until many years into the future and that revisiting is just for nostalgia purposes. As respect for this series, I won’t ask for my money back since this isn’t a total failure. It is sad that this series couldn’t reinvent itself into something new that the anime world has never seen before. Sorry people, no foodgasms here. Only an upset stomach and diarrhoea from food poisoning and overeating. I guess all that godly food they made has turned my iron stomach into some pretty weak ass one.


December 20, 2020

Remember long ago the odd racing cartoon from Hanna-Barbera from the 60’s? Yes, remember Wacky Races whereby strange and varied races compete with each other across America? Oh right. I guess most of you aren’t as old as me :-/. But whatever. Yeah. The nostalgic memories. Anyway, I’m not talking about the reboot that came out a few years ago. I’m talking about its Japanese version, Appare-Ranman. Sort of. A pair of stranded Japanese need to win the grand prize of this race so they can return home. Yes, this means racing against the strange and varied racers along the way. Just that it doesn’t have Dastardly to try and sabotage the race. Oh wait. You mean there is one?! Oh, the racing is starting so let’s gooooooo!

Episode 1
The Trans-America Wild Race is about to start and with all the competitors gearing up to start this survival race, why the heck is Appare Sorano still tinkering with his machine?! Is he not ready? Then the flag off. Just finished in time so Appare’s team is propping up nicely at the back of the race. Hey, it’s going to be a marathon, right? Flashback a year ago in Japan, Kosame Isshiki is summoned by Lord Kuroda to his mansion. It seems one of Appare’s invention crashed and destroyed his garden. Although he is thrown in prison now, Kuroda orders Kosame to watch over Appare. If anything happens, they will be jointly responsible. After all, Kuroda has to be careful with this as Appare’s parents are wealthy merchants so this could backfire if he makes the wrong move. So Kosame rushes down to the prison. Too bad Appare already got himself out by unlocking the prison door and leaving all those hardened criminals in a lurch. Yeah. Brains over brawns any time. Appare returns home and his father is not mad he is causing trouble with his inventions rather than helping out with the family business. Appare has no interest in all that so father tells him to get out. Kosame comes by to Appare’s workshop and is awed to see all his contraptions. Since Appare won’t come with him lightly, Kosame bows his head and begs. You thought he was going to kill him, no? Appare then takes him to his underground lair to show his steam engine ship. Because Kosame laughs at it, Appare thinks he is no different than the rest. Appare’s sister warns him as there are men who are here to arrest him for escaping prison. She gives him her charm knowing that he is leaving. Kosame tries to convince the men he will convince Appare to come with them but he has taken off in his ship. Kosame hangs on for dear life and some struggle has the ship accelerate further out into sea until it runs out of fuel. I guess it’s too far to swim back now, huh? Kosame asks why he is so obsessed with such technology so he explains after watching huge ships from other countries cross over for the first time, it made him think that the sea connects all nations and that the sky connects to the stars. Hence the ship is just his first step into making his dream come true as he wants to go to the other side of the moon. With no water or food, I guess the duo have to lay waste as the ship floats to nowhere. Until an American ship passes by and brings them to America. Welcome to America! Land of the milk and honey! Oh my God, Kosame says?

Episode 2
Appare won’t fix his experimental ship since he is already at the next step of his experiment. Plus, that ship can’t sail all the way across the Pacific, right? Kosame then begs the captain to bring him back to Japan. Well, is he going to pay the fare? Plus, they’re heading to Panama so they won’t be going to Japan for a while. With no money, they try to find a job but none. At least there are no openings in the kind of jobs Appare wants to do. At the park, they get this idea for people to pay a small fee to hit Kosame in a minute. Being the great samurai he is, nobody could touch him and they earn handsomely. You’d think easy money is here to stay but Appare catches the attention of the racetrack and uses most of that money to enter. Easy come, easy go. He is impressed with the fast cars here. They also hear Seth Rich Carter from GM (part of B.I.G. Boss Automotive) sponsoring the Trans-American Wild Race as he challenges those who can beat his vehicle across the American landscape. You bet Appare wants to enter. As Kosame is pessimistic and worries about his family, I guess he has to join Appare and earn the big $1.5 million prize money to get home. Wanna spend 10 years working here? They spot a little Native American kid, Hototo trying to look for a man with a scar on his neck but apparently racism rearing its ugly head because f*cking whites brush him off. So Appare’s logic to get a better look at the cars themselves is to sneak into the racetrack at night? So trespassing is okay now? They see Jing Xialian racing and because Appare ran into the tracks, she almost crashed into him. Luckily only the engine blew. They learn she also entered here illegally to drive. She is a servant and works as a mechanic. Although her dream is to be a racer, apparently sexism reared its ugly head because the men didn’t think women could race. Appare is baffled because she is letting others decide how far she could go. Anyway, Xialian thinks she’ll be fired tomorrow when they find out the car is busted. But the next day, her boss is happy since it is working way better and setting new records! Could it be Appare’s tinkering? Elsewhere, Kosame sees whites ganging up on Hototo. He tries to protect him but gets traumatized when one pulls out a gun. Apparently that’s how his mom died protecting him. Luckily Dylan G. Ordin steps in. Nobody gonna ruin his drink.

Episode 3
The thugs recognize Dylan and scram. Hototo is still asking if he has seen a man with this snake tattoo on his neck but Dylan tells him to forget it or he’ll get killed. Also, Appare throwing him a challenge that his car will be faster than his. What a way to make more enemies. Hototo has nightmares of his people and father killed. Damn whites. He wakes up in the storeroom that Appare and Kosame are squatting in. Kosame doesn’t think he should try revenge while Appare is only interested in knowing the terrain of America. Hototo knows the land well and can give Appare the info he needs. Soon the captain is going to kick them out because this rich boy from overseas will pay a hefty price to rent the storehouses here. He is Al Lyon. With his fiancée, Sofia, he is going to enter and win the race and prove to his family that he has what it takes to run the family’s automobile company, BNW. So Appare challenges him to a race. He will fix his car in 10 days and if Appare wins, he’ll get to stay in the storehouse. Since the storehouse already belongs to Al, it wouldn’t make sense for him to do as he wishes if he wins. So Kosame will hara-kiri?! Are you joking, Appare?! Well, Al will settle for his swords. Oh sh*t. Appare heads to Xialian’s place to scavenge for parts. What a gold mine! Apparently Xialian is sad her employers won’t enter the race as they believe they do not have what it takes and the costs itself will threaten their team’s survival. Race day comes. No one is going to believe Appare’s huge clunky tractor thingy can beat Al’s race car. The race starts and as expected, Al speeds off leaving Appare in the dust. But his vehicle soon picks up speed. It is not enough to beat Al, though. Hey, at least this contraption can take a shortcut by jumping over the chasm! It’s still in one piece! Nearing the finish line, Appare then has Kosame pull a lever which is some super booster. So super the engine literally flies off and towards the finish line! Kosame then runs to the finish line, beating Al in a whisker. Everyone in disbelief Appare won. Al gives his car to Appare seeing he won. Al has another faster car for the race. Al admits his defeat since Appare created his own car and strategy to win while he got complacent and relied on his car’s performance. Kosame thinks Appare will use this new car for the race. Appare’s face says it all: You kidding me?!

Episode 4
Kosame gets this great idea. Just sell Al’s car enough for their ticket back to Japan! Genius! Only… Appare has dismantled it!!! FFFUUUU!!! Xialian pleads to her boss she wants to race. Despite he is still against her, David who is the team’s top driver challenges her to a race to make her know her place. More sexism as he berates her as a woman. She tries to fight him but is stopped. Boss agrees to the race but after that she is fired. Hence he will lend her the worst car ever. Hey, he is trying to save cost and has got no time for this silly showdown. Hence she brings the car to Appare to service it (since no one in her team wants to do it). Although he can boost it up, she doesn’t want to because it will be meaningless if she doesn’t beat David via her own strength. Hence Appare takes the car to Al for servicing. That night, Xialian asks Appare for advice but he is busy visualizing his prototype. Yeah, no time to build one so imagine he is driving one! Next day as the race starts, Xialian makes a great start but her lead is soon overtaken by David who has a more powerful machine. As the laps wither down, it soon dawn to everyone that David is not breaking away and Xialian is keeping real close to him. This is her strategy because since David is in the lead, she has wind resistance and this means fuel efficiency and her tyres will last longer. On the penultimate lap, she finally overtakes David. David can’t do anything to regain the lead since his aggressive driving has worn out his tyres. Then on the final straight, Xialian is obviously going to win but David plays cheat by slamming his car into hers. Though nobody is injured and no cars are damaged, Xialian is going over to sock it to him but boss is the one who did it. Could you have imagined had David crashed the best car?! Now get back to work! Boss praises Xialian for handling the car well when it spun, avoiding a total crash. Although he still believes racing is a man’s world and nobody will be happy if a woman wins, he still gives her hope to join the Trans-America race because she can prove everyone otherwise. Hence she gets to keep this car. The mechanics apologize for being mean to her and want to help soup up her car. Seth talks to Dylan about Crazy TJ and Gil the Butcher joining the race. Dylan has a history with them but unlike Dylan, they have a bounty on their head. The police have agreed not to interfere with the race but Dylan is sceptical. He doesn’t care about all the politics but doesn’t intend to lose. Seth needs him to win so he’ll become the next GM head.

Episode 5
It is the eve of the race and Appare still hasn’t completed his car?! And he is sleeping?! Oh, there’s this party too for all the racers and sponsors to attend. You bet they’re going to attend it for the free food. However a roadblock at the reception since they aren’t formally dressed. Seth tries to shoo away these monkeys but when TJ arrives and forces his way in despite his flamboyant attire, I guess Seth gives into thug rule. If this guy can get in, Appare can go in too, right? The host explains the route and along the way there will be supply points across the country in which one can partake and have mandatory rest times. Some know this is all just a ploy because B.I.G. Boss want to showcase their gasoline powered cars. This puts small teams at a disadvantage who don’t have the money and manpower to repair and resupply their cars. After Gil and his partner, Chase make a rude late entrance, the party continues by introducing the drivers and their cars. Yeah, just a very short spotlight on Appare’s team. Next! At the same time, Hototo confronts Dylan about the tattoo. He doesn’t want to say until Hototo asks him what he would do if he had his loved ones taken away from him. Dylan then mentions that tattoo is called Gil the Snake and is famous among outlaws. Those loyal to him have this tattoo so his target could be one of his men. During the race, he might meet up with them. He advises Hototo to be patient and wait. As the party proceeds to draw lots for pole position, TJ doesn’t want this boring event and to spice things up. So a shooting contest with Dylan? Damn, are they shooting or dancing? Do they have unlimited bullets cheat code?! Thankfully nobody gets killed… As for the others, it’s like some talent show? Hey, is this a circus?! I thought this was a high class event?! So that night Appare has finished his car. Apparently this is not even its final form?! And finally we can see some racing action as the participants make a roaring start. Of course as we already seen at the beginning, Team Appare propping up the back nicely.

Episode 6
Appare’s machine is great for driving on rough terrains, thus allowing him to take shortcuts and keeping up with the pack. Dylan, TJ and Al are the leading trio. But here’s the railroad crossing. Train’s coming. Al puts his brakes on by Dylan and TJ being the crazy daredevils they are step on it and actually go through! Can Appare do the same? With all those crazy equations and calculations, you think he is going to make the jump. Nah. Just calculating the end of the coach and that’s where he drives through. In the end, reaching the first pit stop first is Dylan followed by TJ and then Al. As they rest, Kosame spots Richard Riesman, the guy who cut them off near the finish, causing them to go off and losing a few places. Richard claims he had to avoid an animal so that’s that. But for Appare, he realizes his machine needs more tinkering and that he isn’t going to win just by taking shortcuts. Al is surprised that Sofia is here. He thinks she should’ve gone and waited straight at New York since the race is going to get more dangerous. Asking if she is a bother, he thinks not. Unlike Dylan and TJ who will risk their lives for the race, Al is nothing like them because he won’t risk his life for it since his policy is to protect those he loves. I guess this means Sofia will be staying next to him because that’s the safest, right?

Appare and co discuss the next route that involves driving through Death Valley. It is a small narrow valley and since it is not safe to drive through at night, many will sit out and wait till daylight. As Hototo tries to look for his father’s killer, he stumbles into Gil’s men as Chase explains how they’ll block the valley and set explosives at the narrowest point. Their car can bulldoze through anything and this will give them time to get ahead. Hototo is spotted and they’re going to put him with the explosives. With Hototo not back, Kosame is worried. Apparently not Appare. Everyone has their own thing to do so if Hototo doesn’t return by midnight, they will leave without him. That won’t do for Kosame so he goes look for him. He stumbles into Richard and talks to him about Hototo’s problem before stumbling into Gil’s place. Since he sees Hototo’s axe lying around, he thinks he is trapped in the nearby box. Chase dares him to open it and if it’s nothing, he’ll pay. Kosame opens and this critter furball… It’s Hototo?! This quick thinking saves Kosame’s life as he returns with a new pet. With the race flagging off, Kosame still can’t believe Appare is willing to abandon Hototo. So you mean Kosame is willing to stay back just for Hototo?! As fate would have it, Appare’s machine stops working. Time to tinker. This gives enough time and hope for Kosame to go find Hototo. Hototo finally breaks free. So he’s all by himself near a farm? Kosame finds him and brings him back as he spills the beans on Gil’s evil scheme. Looks like Appare also just finished upgrading his baby. Time to catch up.

Episode 7
Appare explains his hybrid steam and gasoline engine. It helps power up his baby but because it is still not perfected, he cannot strain it. His tactic is to ride behind Gil’s car to help conserve his engine. But Kosame and Hototo are worried and need to warn others about Gil’s plan. Appare has a change of heart and goes ahead of Gil to warn others. They follow Gil through Death Valley and only because of Dylan usurping Gil’s men on standby, the goons blow up the rocks late. By that time all the cars have gone through. Barely for Appare, though. As this has damaged his machine, Appare is going to pull it to the next pit stop to fix it?! Oh well. Better than waiting here. But luck has it, Al and Xialian turned back to help tow them. Appare refuses their kindness and doesn’t understand their logic to help a rival in a race. But as Al puts it, he wants to win fair and square. This is a long race so they still have time to catch up. After all, Dylan and TJ (who overslept) have to take a big detour around Death Valley to catch up too. After exiting Death Valley, they have to camp here since it is too dangerous to cross Bloodstained Pass at night. Everyone except Appare is useful in cooking. Appare is confused with himself over his recent actions. Kosame had to explain a little about the human heart. They’re not machines. Next day at the Nevada pit stop, Gil is about to flag off but here comes Appare and co blocking his path. They accuse Gil and Chase of their dirty tricks but do they have proof? Even so, is it illegal by the rules?! Al and others agree to settle this via racing. However Hototo won’t. He is still hell bent on his revenge as he tells his sob story his fun days with dad will never return. Apparently white racists couldn’t care less and start hurling rocks so as to get the race started. Appare and co protect Hototo. It is then Gil has had it and confronts Hototo. He then unmasks himself. Damn, he got a nerdy face! Gil is crying?! He can’t take this anymore as he reveals he is not the real Gil, but Tristan. The snake mark is fake and they’re taking this name so as to scare off others. I mean, you wouldn’t approach badass bandits casually, would you? Tristan and Chase AKA Bad Brothers claim they are not bad guys and did not kill Hototo’s father. The duo can’t resume the race since Appare dismantles their vehicle and it will take them 8 hours to reassemble it. Karma.

Episode 8
Appare falls asleep right before their flag off?! Oh boy. Can Kosame drive?! Thankfully the jerky ride won’t be long as Appare soon wakes up to take control of the wheel. The group comes to a dead halt when it seems all those racers ahead of them were killed! The only survivor is Richard as he claims Gil and his men ambushed them. He is probably left alive to leave a message to others. Hototo is dead set on revenge so the gang heads to the nearest town to seek a sheriff’s help since continuing the race in this fashion will be dangerous. It is obvious that they don’t like outsiders. As they ask about for clues, they are surrounded by Gil’s men. The biggest crook is the sheriff himself. Although he has a snake tattoo on his neck, he is not Gil. Because the real deal is much worse than this. All try to fight back but get knocked out. Kosame couldn’t draw his sword because of his trauma. Only Kosame is spared because he is deemed a coward while the rest will be hung tomorrow to set an example. So Kosame drowns his sorrows in a nearby bar? Good thing the bartender listens to his traumatic story. He still feels down he couldn’t protect anyone even after all the training. Cue for some good advice because it’s not like he could change the past and bring his mother back. So once Kosame overcomes his enslaving nightmare, he goes to face off the bandits. Wow. Appare had so much confident Kosame would come? Well, he never failed to leave one behind, right? It’s time for samurai showdown because Kosame draws his sword to cut their guns. Reading their movements to dodge the bullets as well as cutting them down with the blunt end of his sword. You think Hototo could throw weak punches and get somewhere so it’s cue for Kosame to be an adult to tell about his own tragedy. In short, just be a kid and let the adults handle it. So the final face off with the sheriff, not only Kosame dodges his first fake shot but also cuts his second bullet in half! I didn’t shoot the sheriff… The race resumes as they reach their next pit stop at Denver, Colorado. By this time Dylan and TJ have already overtaken and take top spots. Meanwhile Richard talks to a guy who is not impressed he pulled that unnecessary stunt. Because if the public finds out, they’re history. Richard doesn’t care. It’s his way of warning all that the new era won’t come. And oh, Richard is actually the real Gil! Gil T. Cigar!

Episode 9
Seth tells the remaining racers that a consensus has been made by B.I.G. Boss and the race will continue albeit they will take a different route to avoid running into Gil’s men. Only Richard decides to pull out from the race and the rest don’t blame him for not wanting to continue. For the time being, everyone will stay here for the night. Appare is concerned about his cooling mechanism for his hybrid engine and decides to check Dylan’s car. Seth is not too happy about it but Appare doesn’t find him useful if he isn’t going to give him ideas about the engine. Seth is shocked to hear Appare’s hybrid idea and doesn’t believe it. Flashback shows Seth once had Appare’s fervour and created some new stuffs. However his boss was concerned about the costs and told him to follow protocol. Hototo thanks Dylan for his hint and thinks of helping him about this Claudia lady he heard him mutter at the pre-race party. He doesn’t reveal much but it sounds like he couldn’t protect the person he wants to protect the most. And so Hototo gets some advice about protecting others from Bad Brothers but it isn’t much. They’re outlaws anyway. TJ is so bored so Al challenges him to a drink. Al falls after just 1 glass of tequila! Sofia takes his place instead and drinks until TJ goes out! And she’s just getting started?! Damn, this woman can hold her liquor! We also see Dylan getting a haircut, Xialian practising sparring with Kosame and Appare do deep in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he bumped into everything. Including Thomas Edison’s house???!!!! And then everyone gathers at the hotspring. Culture shock because the Japanese counterparts go in butt naked! You’re supposed to wear bathing suits! More civilized! Xialian talks to Sofia and learns she isn’t exactly Al’s fiancée but more of his chaperon since they grew up together. Now that Appare has thought it out properly, time to get to work and create the final ultimate hybrid engine. How far can it go now? It couldn’t be a better time to know as the race is about to resume.

Episode 10
The race restarts with Xialian taking the surprise lead. Bad Brothers got a badass gun?! Is that legal?! They’re ramming through property too to make up for lost time! Is this legal too?! With this new route that runs side by side along with the train where audiences and crew members can watch if cars can outrun trains, Richard is then called by his boss for a private talk. It seems he is not happy Richard didn’t do anything to stop the race as promised. As he is a railway magnate, he is of course against the rise of automobiles. Richard then throws him out of the train! He’ll take orders from nobody but himself. He then signals and calls his henchmen to hijack the train, killing police and the train crew. They also bomb the last carriages and this takes out the Bad Brothers. The henchmen also start shooting at the racers before making the train coming to a complete stop on the Missouri bridge. Richard comes running to them on pretence for help but gets shot. But when nobody comes to help him, he then reverts to his true colours and reveals himself as the real Gil. Al confronts him about Sofia but after seeing her bloodied hat, he gets angry. Too bad European kid gets beat down by this outlaw. No samurai sword, Chinese kenpo or Appare’s invention could even stop this guy! Dylan and TJ confront Gil. Let’s settle this. Gil also has his men surround them and kill anyone who tries to escape. Gil lock horns with TJ and gets the better of him. He only lives because Dylan intervenes. When a henchman tries to shoot Dylan for disobeying the rules, Gil kills him for disobeying his orders. Gil decides to call it quits today. He will be taking some of the train passengers as hostage. That includes Sofia. Hey, he didn’t say he is dead. He wants the race’ grand prize money and they’re going to get it for him. Appare tries to be a smarty pants and go against him but is given a warning shot.

Gil then shows off the power he has by disrespecting everyone’s car. This includes busting up Xialian’s car. Then he steals Dylan’s locket and mocks him about Claudia. Blinded by rage, Dylan gets beaten up easily as Gil further mocks and blames Dylan as the one who killed Claudia. It seems the orphanage she was trying to build got burnt down and it might not have happened had Dylan stayed by her side instead of fighting his battles. Not forgetting Hototo too. He remembers killing his dad. He will kill his mom next time and challenges him to get revenge. Yeah, his mini axe can’t do anything to Gil. Gil further brags that he is so powerful he cannot be stopped. It doesn’t matter what era, all that matters is power and it will be all his. After burning and destroying all the cars, once again Appare tries to deny all that so no more warnings from Gil as he shoots him. However Kosame takes the bullet. Gil and his men get the train moving again and reminds the racers to get his money quick. Kosame is losing blood quick. Appare is in panic mode as he tries to save Kosame. Strangely, it is Kosame now who is calm as he tells Appare that the race isn’t over. Just get going. He believes he can finish the race. Kosame then closes his eyes… WTF. No time for jokes!

Episode 11
Bad Brothers’ car is still moving so luckily they send Kosame to the hospital. Despite stopping the blood loss, he is still in coma. Appare is sad-cum-mad at Kosame for doing something illogical. Look who’s talking. He is so broken and lost that he has lost the motivation to fix his car. He doesn’t care about it now. Kosame was right racing was ridiculous. He can’t do it. I guess Al has to seek someone else’s help to fix his car to go save Sofia. More woes since the damage is far greater and there are lack of parts. Seeing Appare down is one thing, seeing Dylan and TJ sulking while talking about Claudia is another. Yeah, they really put that dead woman on a pedestal. Seth tries to get the police to help but the chief lambasts him that it was agreed they weren’t going to interfere. Also, his reputation is on the line and doesn’t want to fight Gil so you’re on your own. More Appare gloominess as we see him crying in the rain. Oh dear. What is he going to do? All he ever thought was his inventions but now what? Kosame not around to tell him things. More drama as Hototo tells Appare about Kosame… KOSAME DEAD?! Damn samurai dude pulled a fast one just to see Appare’s reaction. None really. They talk about things and when Appare suggests making a boat for him to go back to Japan, Kosame doesn’t want it. Kosame’s positivity gives Appare some hope. Because Gil said he can’t be stopped but look at this medical technology that saved Kosame’s life. This technology stopped his power. How far can Appare go? As Seth assembles the racers to tell the likelihood the race will be cancelled, Appare is here to say otherwise. He will help fix everyone’s car. They will go save the hostages, kick Gil’s ass and then return racing. This race only will end when one of them reaches the finish line. With that, everyone gets back into their groove. Seth also throws away his pride as he summons all his engineers to do whatever they can to help fix the cars. Spend as much as you want. He will take responsibility for everything.

Episode 12
One of the hostage pleads for his freedom because he has a family. Gil then throws him a gun. Whoever kills the other will be set free. The guys fight over it and the winner shoots the loser. Gil then sets him free and after he runs a distance, he shoots him. Sofia is appalled but Gil warns her he’ll kill her if she disagrees with him and the only reason she is alive is because she is his property. Meanwhile our heroes have their cars fixed as Seth briefs them on the info from the police. The train is found abandoned at an abandoned station and most likely Gil and his men are holing up in a nearby ghost town. There are at least 100 men and they need to rescue the hostages first before the police arrive and turn the town into a bloodbath. Thanks to Appare’s car that was once a ship, he gets to help make a makeshift bridge for them to cross the river. Outside the town, Al suggests they split into teams to find the hostages. Dylan and TJ get the ball rolling by killing all the small fries with their direct approach. Gil orders his men to slaughter the heroes so we see the face off from the teams. Appare-Kosame against the shotgun guy, Al-Xialian against knife woman, Tristan-Hototo against big dynamite guy and Chase-Seth against double gunslinger dude. When Chase gets shot, Seth surrenders and is brought to Gil to give the ransom. But this is just a ploy as Chase was wearing an armour beneath so as to make him lead them to Gil. Gil kills this dude for failing. Chase then sets off the smoke signal to indicate he has found Gil and Sofia. Cue for the rest to finish up their fight. Appare’s distraction has Kosame using his sword on shotgun guy. Xialian’s kenpo knocks the lights out of knife woman. Tristan using his brute force to slam out big dynamite guy. Everyone converges before the chapel but don’t rest now. Gunshots are heard.

Episode 13
Everyone lines up behind Kosame as he deflects Gil’s bullets! Is this a joke?! Apparently this is what they discussed on how to take down Gil. As his gun holds 6 shots, they have a small window to take him down as he reloads. They do that but oh damn, Gil still beats their ass and reloads! Oh well, back behind Kosame again. Yeah, feels like everybody vs Thanos too. It is revealed that Sofia is not here. She is on a one way ticket train to Chicago. The train is laden with explosives and when it crashes into the station, you can imagine what will happen. So will our heroes have time to fight Gil? That’s where Dylan and TJ come in. Time for adults to play and you kids to go chase the train. So I guess this proves gasoline cars are faster than steam powered trains. Al and Xialian recklessly hop on board to beat up the punks. But they can’t stop the train since the brakes are disabled. How? Appare is going to use his car as the brakes! Can it?! It’s a whole train he is stopping! JUST BELIEVE IN HIS MACHINE! Okay. His puny car isn’t going to be just the brakes. Remember his booster? He powers it up enough force to stop the train from crashing. At the same time, Dylan and TJ defeat Gil. So that guy finally ran out of power, huh? They won’t kill him and will let the law deal with him in honour of Claudia. So with this over, what now? Yeah, before we forget this is a racing anime, the race is back on a month later as we see all of them (except for Bad Brothers who are just taking a leisurely ride) neck to neck on the home stretch. Appare is propping up the back but can he catch up? Time for the booster to work its miracle again. So powerful this time that it flies! Kosame using his body weight just to help it turn! Like sailing?! Hey, his machine was a boat! That booster is enough to make Appare cross the finish line first! OMG! First Trans-America race won by Japanese! If you’re interested in the other rankings: 2) Xialian; 3) Al; 4) Dylan; 5) TJ; 6) Bad Brothers.

In the aftermath, Al and Sofia are going to returning to Europe soon since they have lost the race and have lots of work to do. Al offers Appare to come with him and can make all the cars he wants. However Appare has bigger plans because he now wants to make a plane. Okay. See you when you fly over the Atlantic! Kosame is happy to have found a ship back to Japan. But Appare tells him the bad news he isn’t going with him. He is staying behind in America since he has things to do. Even Hototo is staying with Appare. You can go back by yourself if you want. Okay then. On the day Kosame leaves, for some reason we all know too well, Appare chases after the ship. Too late to regret he couldn’t tell Kosame to stay because he really wanted him to. It’s more fun with him around! Oh boy. The ship’s gone. Tears not going to do you any good. Imagine his surprise when Appare is standing behind him! He didn’t leave? Yeah, he too decides to stay back to help Appare. He just sent a letter back to his family. More Appare-Kosame style jokes that feel a lot like home. Damn, Kosame learnt how to tell an American style joke? Appare and Kosame’s sisters receive the letter and are glad their brothers are doing well in America. Yeah, that group photo of them winning the race, you bet everything is alright.

The Amazing Race: Apparent Errant Running Man
Oh yeah. America. The land of milk and honey. The land of opportunities and dreams. It is no wonder our Japanese duo are staying behind to take their next step forward. It feels like Japan has no future. Maybe not in that era. Japan only became a technological powerhouse after the second World War. And before that, it’s still a backwater samurai country. I think. With such an amazing experience in America, racing and fighting off the most wanted badass villain in the country, it’s a good thing that the Japanese duo do not feel homesick and making good ol’ USA their home base. I know it’s inconclusive but with Appare briefly encountering Thomas Edison and possible the Wright brothers, he could become anime’s version of Forrest Gump and go on to meet great historical people and achieve greater heights! Who knows? That’s another story for another day when Appare becomes a legend!

If you’re hoping that this is entirely a racing series, you’ll probably be disappointed. After all, this isn’t any Speed Racer AKA Mach GoGoGo in Japanese. Nowhere even near it. Even trying to compare this to Wacky Races feel like a bit of a stretch once you’re done watching the series. I mean, it would be ultimately boring if the entire series is just about racing and the drama of some dastardly character trying to sabotage the race but it always backfires. This is entirely not a comedy centric anime either. So when the race takes a detour having the racers become heroes and turning the race into a rescue mission, I won’t say that this is really a bad plot. After all, you do realize that many of the main characters here do have some sort of fighting ability. So it’ll be a lot of waste if we just see them having driving potential but do not show off their fighting chops.

Well, if you’re still disappointed in the overall story, then please note that this anime is an original creation. Yes, not based on any manga or game. Therefore as far as we can see when the anime ends, there seems to be some missed potential. After all, it might be us getting the wrong idea in the first place when we read the synopsis about this anime going to be a racing theme. I am not sure if this Trans-America race will be an annual thing but you have to remember that Appare is the main character here. Heck, his name is on the title, that should give you a hint. Hence this race is just a stepping stone in his quest to see how far he goes, eventually he may or may not reach the moon. Therefore I am speculating that if there is going to be a sequel, it might not necessary be a racing theme. It might showcase Appare’s next journey to achieve his dream. Which of course would feel a bit weird since by the end of the show, we are somewhat used with the racing theme and characters so it will be awkward to see Appare in a totally new journey with totally new characters. Unless, race around the world! Oh yeah. Wacky Races. International version!

Yeah, this anime is so racist with racists being racists. Oops! Didn’t phrase that right. I mean, if a person who plays a piano is a pianist, a person who deals with chemicals is a chemist and a person who deals with mental states is a psychologist, why is it not a person who races a racist???!!! WTF, English???!!! Anyway, your diversity in this anime as we have all kinds of racists, oops, I mean racers in the fray. White Americans, Black Americans, a Native American, Latino Mexicans, a Chinese lady, a European Caucasian and yes, the obligatory Japanese characters. Wow. So much diversity. America truly a melting pot. So where’s the Arab and the Jew?! Not enough diversity, you say? We already have 1 female here to fight #MeToo sexism, so where are the trans people?! Well… It’s in the name, Trans-America Wild Race, silly! That should be enough for you people! Sheesh… Okay, enough of the dumb PC stuffs and jokes…

Speaking of the characters, they have potential here but as I have said this is an original work, it feels like there is room to improve upon them. Unfortunately this series only has a single cour so some of the back stories of the other characters feel a bit superficial. Like the Thousand Three, the past between Dylan and TJ feels like they needed to give these characters some character and let us know why they are badass outlaws. It is like as though in the event of a sequel, they might expand this lore. I mean, it was mentioned that originally there were 7 badass outlaws and now there are only 3 of them left, hence their current collective nickname. So if they want to do some spinoff story or something, this could provide some room to expand the story and give more depth to the characters. Otherwise, you won’t get much from what we have seen like Xialian, the Bad Brothers and Al.

Appare as the main character, he is of course an eccentric one. I have mixed feelings about finding his character likeable as well as annoying. You see, Appare isn’t your typical main character although he still has some qualities that makes a cliché main character. Because he is a genius, he is so ahead of his time that he is an outcast because yeah, nobody understands him. Socially awkward. Uh huh. Nobody understands geniuses because the common mass are just stupid. To put it bluntly. For most of this series, all that is on Appare’s mind is tinkering his machine and making it better. Nothing else. In a way, this makes him feel like a robot. And what makes his character annoying is the fact that he is very direct and blunt with you. There are so many instances that makes him sound that he doesn’t care but that is only because if you aren’t going to tell or give him what he wants, why is he going to bother trying to change your mind? Time is precious to him. He just lets it be and leaves. Hence many might not like this part of Appare and like yours truly who find it annoying because Appare doesn’t look like he has a shred of common sense for humanity inside. But bear in mind, he is eccentric in the first place.

Of course we can’t have Appare sounding and acting like so for the entire series so they need to inject some dilemma moments for his character. You will later obviously see him scratching his head and wandering the illogical things that he has done. This does not compute! Yeah, sounds a lot like a robot. So with him being irritated by these so called human emotions, it makes us believe that Appare is after all still human underneath that genius inventor façade. All that really blows up when Kosame was close to losing his life and it really sent Appare into a spiral downwards. It was also very weird to see Appare in this gloomy state since we are used to see the kind of brand Appare’s character is. The clincher is when Kosame left but didn’t. Despite all the pranks he pulled on him, I suppose Appare still values him a lot. Heh. But I guess that is Appare’s character development for us. More Appare trolling when you see confusing equations popping up on the screen. Like as though Appare using his grey matter to make the impossible possible. But eventually the answer is just freaking simple and nothing to do with all the calculations! Or maybe we’re just too dumb to understand it!

It isn’t unfair to label Kosame as a coward as initial synopsis puts him. Perhaps that is a red herring that they want us to believe and quickly form an opinion over his behaviour. From the kind of upbringing and tragedy that he encountered, I view Kosame as more level headed and cautious. Because you do notice that there are many times Appare is so deep in his thoughts that it could’ve put his life in danger. Had not Kosame be there just to warn him (mostly ignored anyway), it could have turned out for the worse (but thankfully it did not). This makes him play the role of a comic relief sometimes. Because Kosame is a cautious person, he sounds pessimistic. But that is also because he is trying to be realistic. You do know that Appare’s dreams are grand but if you don’t really have a plausible way to achieve it, they’re just castles in the air. Hence Kosame being the voice of reasoning sometimes make him sound cynical and distrustful when he is only just trying to be careful and look out for their wellbeing. In this point of view, you could say that Kosame is a much better character than Appare. Their personalities are poles apart and you can tell from their names, despite Appare meaning sunny and Kosame stemming from rain but it doesn’t generally is a good indicator of their personalities as I have already rationalized.

But what about that hypocrite thing he tried to tell Hototo not to seek revenge because it would not bring about any difference but he himself continues to be traumatized by his own mother’s death? Well, because Kosame has experienced something a kid should never have in his life, he doesn’t want Hototo to grow up the same way as he does. I mean, generally speaking if a person who has undergone something awful, many of them would not wish for others to undergo the same suffering they did. That’s why I believe Kosame isn’t being hypocritical trying to stop Hototo in his revenge plot. He doesn’t want him to end up like he is, shackled by his past. But thankfully Kosame has his redemption episode and it makes him way cooler and more respectable than before. Even Seth who started out as an arrogant character whom viewers would love to hate, has his own redemption and casting away his pride to do what is right.

Gil being the series’ main antagonist, I guess he is what Dastardly could have been had he been seriously a very evil character that is bad to the bone. Yeah, he is the Dastardly of the series but a million times more evil and much more despicably successful. They really want to make us hate his character when we see him having his way with the racers and doing as he pleases. It is true that he has the power to do what he wants. That is only because many allow it because of the fear he stokes in them. If Gil lived in modern times, he would be an even more frightening terrorists with modern gadgets and technologies at his disposal. Yikes, I hate to imagine a reboot spinoff of Detective Appare hunting down international terrorist Gil in a battle of wits and technology! Hope that doesn’t happen. But of course like in any other stories, good always triumph over evil so rest assured that they finish him up and even have time to finish the race. Yeah, feels a lot like plot convenience they make him lose like that. After beating everyone up so convincingly and this is how he goes down with a whimper? Okay then. Because in a way it is good too because it is embarrassing for such a powerful man like Gil just to run out of steam in the end. Heh. Can never beat the power of plot convenience!

On a side note, the B.I.G. Boss trio of companies, I think most of us will think GM is General Motors. But wouldn’t they get sued? No wonder the hilarious misspelling as Great Mortors! F*cking great misspelling. BNW is definitely a parody to BMW. But too bad it isn’t close to Bayerische Motoren Werke. Bright New Works! Sounds more like bright English than German definitely. Finally, Iron Motor, many speculate this reference to Ford since the closest American company with iron in its name is Hughes-Iron Motor Company that was established to sell Ford cars. And to think that these companies lost to a personalized Japanese car in this anime! Not even a Toyota, a Honda or a Nissan. A f*cking makeshift car from a boat! Oh yeah. Gotta thank the boosters. Saved lives and won a race! The real star of the race, those boosters.

Art and animation are pretty cool and good quality. The colourful designs of the characters and especially the cars, a reason why some like me would want to associate it with Wacky Races. I mean, you see Dylan and TJ’s car are so supped up and colourful, you wonder if they’re actually for racing or just for a car exhibition show. Heck, Bad Brother’s oversized tractor car or whatever that is, it looks like it came out from the Hollywood movie, Death Race! I don’t think they have or intended to roll over anybody but what the heck it has big spikes for?! For show?! Uh huh. Our main characters’ cars are so stylish and flamboyant that it makes them stand out from the rest of the other racers in the field whose car designs are just so freaking plain and boring! Seriously. Oh well, racing isn’t all about just speed but they need to be flashy too. So sup up those designs, baby!

As for the characters, they are all also colourful and flamboyant. Like TJ whom you’ll think he is more of a rapper than a racer with his dreadlocks and rapper accessories. Of course Appare is the weirdest looking character because of his design. Not only with his messy hairdo (because those with such wild hair can somewhat be associated with geniuses like Albert Einstein) the weirdest part about him is his, uhm, can I call it weird makeup dots on the edge of his mouth? Because of that, don’t stare too long at Appare because he looks like some killer doll clown! That’s scary! Coupled in with his robotic character, sometimes I wonder if that is an alternate version of Appare in another genre. And Tristan looks like a dork with that silly face. But you can tell he is a gentle giant when birds all flock to him! I guess this friendly smiling style is better than having a scary face like Richard because he could be a Terminator model in disguise! I don’t mean to offend Xialian but her main outfit exposes her midriff and it makes her look kinda fat… Whoops! Does TJ wear some sort of iron bra as his headgear?! Flashy is one thing but ridiculous is another. Oh well, can’t understand some people’s taste… This series is done by P.A. Works although I don’t find the characters here as beautiful as Hanasaku Iroha, Glassslip and True Tears. Oh well, this isn’t a modern day high school setting in the first place.

There are a few recognizable seiyuus lending their talents here like Natsuki Hanae as Appare, Takahiro Sakurai as Dylan, Tomokazu Sugita as TJ, Sora Amamiya as Xialian and Kenjiro Tsuda as Richard/Gil. Surprisingly I found out Aoi Yuuki as Hototo and it seems the more she voices characters away from her trademark style, the harder I find it to recognize her anymore. I mean, I still couldn’t believe it is her. And Daisuke Ono as Tristan? Damn, with such a dorky and gay voice, I sure didn’t expect him to be helming this role. The other casts are Seiichirou Yamashita as Kosame (Chris in Eromanga-sensei), Souma Saito as Al (Ray in Infinite Dendrogram), Tetsu Inada as Chase (Gamagoori in Kill La Kill), Fumihiko Orikasa as Sofia (Rukia in Bleach) and Kazuya Okitsu as Seth (Fat in Boku No Hero Academia. The opening is I Got It by Mia Regina. Your typical rock outfit with lots of fanfare that suits the fast pace racing action. But the one I prefer the most is the ending theme, I’m Nobody by Showtaro Morikubo. There is this catchy tune to it that gives this American cowboy/rodeo feel to this rock piece. Yeehaw! Howdy!

On a trivial note, I noticed that some of the episode titles take after or parody movie titles, though it might have nothing to do with those movies. The most obvious one being episode 8’s Heavy Rain. Then there’s also episode 10’s The Bridge To Hell which is a reference to the Italian war movie in the 80’s and curiously enough the final episode’s Over The Moon which is an animation feature released back in October 2020. Episode 5’s The Eve, And… could be a reference to The Eve and the first episode which is the only episode whose transcribes are in Japanese instead of English, Sunny With Occasional Showers might be from Occasional Showers.

Overall, this is a fun and enjoyable series and sometimes you might get confused of the genre this series falls into. Is it a racing show? Is it an action adventure flick? Is it some sort of comedy and drama? Kinda a bit of everything. Just like Appare’s contraption. Might not be a masterpiece but it is still enjoyable and overall good (don’t let the naysayers bog you down with their complicated criticisms!). It doesn’t have a very convoluted plot and there are some eye candy visuals and the characters are okay. Yes, it could have been better since it does have some potential but next racing season maybe? I wouldn’t say this series sputtered and limped towards the finish line nor did it cross the chequered flag as a winner but at least it did what it is supposed to do by entertaining us with its fair share of racing, action, funny moments and debatably character developing drama. How far can anime go from here? I’m not so optimistic but it’s not totally impossible either. Stay tune next time as Appare battles NASA and Elon Musk’s SpaceX via ultimate race to Mars! Oh yeah. Can’t wait for that. So what are we waiting for? Let’s gooooooo!

Gun x Sword

December 19, 2020

Stories of revenge never get old. From Gungrave to Code Geass to 91 Days and Gankutsuou, having the main character seeking out a certain someone for revenge and to avenge his/her loved one sounds like a typical cliché for a plot and to pile up the body count if it’s an action flick. What to do? That’s human nature. Only violence and death can ease some of that bitterness and pain. Hopefully. Or not. So it’s the same case for Gun x Sword. A man’s life turned upside down after his wife got killed on their wedding day. Ever since, he is on a vengeful hunt for the perpetrator. Nothing else on his mind. You’d think the entire journey would help make him reflect or change but what are the chances? Your wife’s killed. You’ll follow the devil to hell and back just for some elaborated payback, right?

Episode 1
Van just stumbles into town looking for food. What does he see? A bunch of guys gunning down others and a young girl, Wendy Garret. Of course she didn’t die since her turtle pendant blocked the bullet. Van doesn’t want trouble but seeing those bunch are troublemakers, he easily takes them out with his strange sword. Wendy then brings him to the mayor where he is treated food. The mayor hopes to hire him as a bodyguard from a bunch of baddies who are after their money. All the young ones have died while protecting this town and Wendy’s brother, Michael is missing. Then here comes those baddies and their leader, Lucky to give them 1 last chance to surrender or tomorrow he’ll unleash his armoured fury on them. Despite all this, Van refuses to get involved. Not his problem. Later Van stumbles into their bar looking for milk but is forced to play a card game with Lucky. Whoever gets the joker first loses. Van loses and is tossed out. However Lucky realizes Van ‘cheated’ because he picked up 2 cards instead. Wendy is mad that Van is strong but refused to help them. Van tells her to think and do something on their own. He is shocked when Wendy offers herself to be his bride. He tells her to be that only when she is happy. Lucky then shoots Van for ruining his luck. But it sees Van has some healing abilities? Next day, Lucky unleashes his wrath on town. Because he roughs up Wendy, Van comes to her rescue and has decided to crush all of Lucky’s luck. We see him kick ass with his agility and his sword. But the real clincher is that he too can summon a mecha, Dann and pilot it. Time to change Lucky’s name to Unlucky. And that’s the end of his lucky streak. As Van interrogates him about Michael, it seems they were ordered to bring him to a man with claws on his right hand. Apparently Van has a bone to pick with that guy and gets desperate to know his whereabouts. Too bad Lucky doesn’t know. Wendy decides to follow Van on his journey seeing they have the same goal. Hey, can’t leave your bride behind.

Episode 2
Arriving at Bridge City, Van stumbles into an old acquaintance, Carmen 99. So Wendy’s jealous woman instincts kicking in? Not sure why she even wants to stick with a man who can’t even remember her name! Don’t worry, he doesn’t remember Carmen’s too. Anyway, Wendy dislikes being treated like a kid despite being one. Take a good look at yourself… Anyway, crossing over to the other side of the continent is closed for now as Mayor Baron Meyer gave an excuse of a much needed repair and maintenance and it would be closed for weeks. However he will only allow a few hundred woman to cross at a certain time via underground tunnel. All Van wants to know if that certain man has crossed the bridge so he needs Carmen to find that info. You bet Wendy wants to also cross the bridge for her own reasons. Carmen can help take care of Wendy if Van helps to investigate Baron since there has been something suspicious going on. As Wendy, Carmen and the selected women head underground, it soon dawn to them that this is a trap. Baron and his moustachioed soldiers have taken them captive for his new kingdom. He has spent years building some hidden mecha and plans to conquer the world with this metal robot? So to build his new kingdom, he is going to impregnate all these women?! Sick guy. Of course he isn’t pleased with Wendy since she is just a child. Hit a nerve? When Wendy talks about freedom and the likes, he is going to teach her a lesson. Great timing as Van drops in to reveal what he has found. Too bad we all already know. Since Van doesn’t like how Baron treats women, he is going to crush everything. A few scuffle, the women run for safety, Baron and his men retreat to their mecha that detaches itself from the city. He is going to destroy Bridge City as his first step. I’m sure he didn’t take into account Van summoning his Dann and then pretend to get defeated so as to find its weakness. And then one slice through to end this man’s dreams and flow. In the aftermath, Van interrogates a man who confirms a certain man and a young boy did cross the bridge. They part ways with Carmen as Wendy bugs Van to say her name. Say it… SAY IT!!! Can’t… Remember…

Episode 3
Van fainted from hunger so poor Wendy had to drag him to the next town for food. It seems there is a bunch of old farts who were once mecha pilots who are fond of Van because he too is one and they’ve heard of his exploits against Wild Bunch and Baron. Because they are rowdy and talking about the past, the young ones don’t like it. So the old farts want to fight? Heh. The young ones are sensible not to fight with old people. Everything is calmed down when Yukiko, the bar owner and the granddaughter of late Chizuru, the old geezers’ mecha pilot partner, starts singing. The old farts are even thrown into prison when they further misbehave. The sheriff doesn’t want to do this to his childhood heroes but things have changed. Heroes aren’t needed and the police is enough. However, soon a monster mecha piloted by the disgruntled citizen Buchi starts tearing up the place. He claims he wants to help so how does destroying things help?! As Van doesn’t want to get involve, looks like it’s up to the old farts to settle this the old way. Yeah, amazingly their mecha still in good working condition! They combine into a giant robot and am I watching a Transformers show?! As they clash, it is obvious that the old geezers’ power is incomplete because they need the power of 5. Is this cue for Yukiko to ride the final mecha? Nope. She starts singing! That can only do so much to motivate the old farts but this has Van helping out by throwing the final mecha to combine with them. With that, they are able to defeat Buchi. In the end, Buchi repents his action and the town returns to its peaceful days.

Episode 4
After fighting off a baddie, Van becomes weak and collapses. Poor Wendy has to drag him out from the river he fell into, drag him all the way into the cave to take shelter from the rain. Of course he is reeling from some nightmare as Wendy tries to nurse him. Be strong, girl. Next day, she sets off to the nearest town to get a doctor. But it seems as Van hinted, he hasn’t been calling Dann for quite a while and he could be suffering from its effects. Hence he summons it to recuperate inside. Meanwhile Wendy has reached the town but the people look at her with scorn since she is carrying a gun. Even the hospital shoos her away. Luckily a kind nurse, Mary takes her to a small clinic run by Doctor Denehee. She describes Van’s symptoms but thankfully it is no more than just fever. She also describes a strange mark on Van’s body. Could it be a parasite? Since Denehee is wheelchair ridden, he can’t go with her and just gives the medicine for Van. Wendy makes her way. Wow. The way she traverses back, I wonder if the food Mary gave her will still be alright. Heck, she got attacked by a wild boar! WTF wild boar listens to her to scram when she points her gun?! Whatever. When Wendy returns, Van is gone. So disappointed. This is the appreciation she gets for her efforts? More bad luck as the baddie returns with his friends and attacks her. Lolicon. Luckily, Van returns and beats the sh*t out of them. Looks like he is okay. I guess he doesn’t need the medicine anymore. Wendy so relieved she faints. I guess now it’s his turn to look after her. But I guess she’s happy. Meanwhile Denehee remembers he treated a patient with this mark before. It is a man with an artificial arm. Mary leaves but she is hold up by a guy, Ray Lundgren who wants to know about the claw man.

Episode 5
Van and Wendy enter a mechanical village consists of twins. However both sets hate each other and are trying to kill each other. However as Carmen promised them to hire a bodyguard for each side to settle things. So Van is one of them? It seems their late father has left them some legacy. Both sides hold a set of key that is needed to open the door. Of course putting the key together to open it would be easy but you know how much they hate each other, right? Hence Carmen hiring bodyguards to fight on their behalf and the loser must hand over the key. Van only accepts the job because they have info about the claw man who is their father’s acquaintance. It seems the other bodyguard hired is Ray. Instantly he starts shooting at everything just to kill Van! He retreats but Van also returns the favour by going to the other side to attack. Meanwhile Wendy asks Carmen about Helena, the name Van keeps speaking in his sleep. She is supposed to be Van’s wife but on their wedding day, the claw man killed her. Similarly, Ray’s wife, Shino was killed by the same man and he is on a revenge journey. Ray even propose they team up since their goal is the same but Van has his principles and won’t. Carmen set this up knowing about Ray’s past too because I guess some things you have to settle it this way? Next day just before the duel begins, Ray shoots the enemy twin and takes her key. That should settle it, right? Opening the door, the legacy is a mecha. Then there is a video of their father reporting to somebody about his experiment. Apparently twins are needed to pilot this but because the experiment went wrong and they started hating each other, it is hinted they can be destroyed. Father is pleading for mercy and desperate for something. End of transmission. The twins realize their mistake as they go pilot the mecha just to prove to their father. This means Van and Ray’s fight is interrupted. Van summons Dann to fight them. Because he is too soft, Ray also summons his mecha, Volkein. Ray is more cruel and merciless as he destroys the twins without hesitation. This is his conviction. In order to get revenge, he has thrown away his humanity. Ray escapes as the entire place crumbles. Van and Wendy also manage to escape. Carmen too. I guess she got her payment. Yeah, she stole it anyway.

Episode 6
Mascotte and Honey Cherry are professing their love in the middle of public. How they’ll get rich and live the easy life. Cringe. So are they ready now to attack Van and demand for his mecha? Because they’ll sell it to Tony who is a mecha maniac in town and he’ll pay any price for it. Of course Van refuses but as you can see, these dumbasses are really easy to take care of. Hence the entire day we see these idiots not giving up and even chasing them with their mecha, Love Deluxe. Isn’t that just a supped up car? You bet Van is so freaking annoyed. In between their cheesy love drama and all. So in the latest attempt, they stumble into Tony. Turns out this is Honey’s father and she lied to Mascotte because she fear he would leave her upon knowing she is the daughter of a mafia head. But Tony isn’t happy Mascotte ruined his Love Deluxe. He has his men take them away but what about Van? Those idiots have been chasing him all day. Sorry, Tony got no time to play with him. Tony crucifies Mascotte so the latter tries to play the bad guy just to save Honey. Such beautiful love story. Tony agrees to forget all this if Honey kills him. Of course Honey won’t. Since when he cared about his daughter because he only cares about his mecha. Tony will kill them both but this is where Van comes in. On a surfboard?! Look at his frown! I guess he still can’t let go what happened today. As he beats up Tony’s men, Tony rides his own mecha to take down Van. Isn’t that just another supped up car? Of course Van easily destroys it. In the aftermath, the stupid couple have a quick wedding and get on with their happy love life. Ah, such simple bliss. Van and Wendy continue to ask for the claw man. Why, the waiter points out he is just at the next table! Oh, but he is gone. Something about catching a ship. Van angrier now. He goes to the dock but is filled with ships. Which ship? Curses. So close yet so far.

Episode 7
Van and Wendy take a ship to go after the claw man. However they are tricked and dumped on an island owned by Joe Lazzi. He welcomes them with great hospitality despite Van being very distrustful of him. He promises to make their stay as comfortable since the next transport ship will pass here in only 10 days. He even offers to ask his men back on the land to find info on the claw man. Joe learns about Van’s reason to go after the claw man so he too tells his story of betrayal and loss of comrades. He thinks it is better to let go of the past and not seek revenge. At the same time, he talks to Wendy and tries to convince her to return home because there is a chance that she might miss Michael and he doesn’t find her back at home. Joe goes back to convince Van about his revenge, if this was what Helena wanted. Because nothing comes out of revenge. Ironically, Joe’s enemies are now his friends since they have some info on the claw man. On separate occasions, Joe talks to Wendy and Van about going back and leave the rest to them. Van starts to think deep about Joe’s words. Then he realizes Helena is gone and there is no more happiness in this world. This is also when he realizes Joe is actually an accomplice to the claw man and he did all this just to stall them. Hence both guys summon their mecha to fight. Literally destroying the entire island! In the end, Van proves superior but Joe thinks he has bought his comrades some time. He thinks of taking out Van with his self-destruct but only Joe exploded to pieces. As they leave the island, Van realizes this is going to get harder as the claw man knows he is on to him.

Episode 8
While traversing the mountains, Joshua saves them from a mecha dragon. However because in the process Van loses his sword, he wants Joshua to be a decoy while he goes get it. Too scared? Wendy will go then. Joshua mans up to do it but chickens out and puts Van in danger. If not for Ray saving the day, they could’ve been done for. It seems Ray is Joshua’s older brother and despite Joshua’s calls for him to return, stubborn Ray will not. Van goes to do his own investigation but bumps into Ray at the restaurant. Joshua tells Wendy about Ray being a nice guy until the death of Shino He then changed of course. He also tells her how the dragon indiscriminately attacks anyone who crosses the mountains. It all began 2 years ago but at the same time it was also when the claw man showed up here. So could it be the one piloting the dragon is the claw man’s subordinate? It could explain why Ray is back here. So Ray is asking Van to cooperate and be a decoy while he aims to take down the dragon. Can they trust each other? Anyway both cooperate but the dragon gets the better of them. You think Joshua and Wendy in the battlefield would become a liability but Joshua who is a mecha maniac knows its weakness and how to take it down. So Van borrows Ray’s gun and shoots at its weak spot to immediately immobilize the threat. When they enter the mecha, they discover the pilot is dead for a long time. Since this is quite a good mecha, why would the claw man let this run loose? Apparently like those twins’ case, this is considered another failure because it locked the pilot inside. Van and Ray start fighting for the data. With Joshua’s pleading, Ray relents but he still won’t come back and only lives for revenge. Since Van has the data, he needs somebody to interpret it and the next town over might be a good start. Joshua thinks of joining them since there is a chance he’ll meet with Ray again. Yeah, he thinks Van and Ray get along very well! Don’t let Van hear that!

Episode 9
Van hitchhikes to Trinolia and as luck would have it, it is Carmen who picks them up. It seems Trinolia is Carmen’s hometown and she hasn’t been back for 6 years. The people still remember her, though. First thing, Carmen brings them go see her childhood friend, Haeta. She is the daughter of Findrey, the man who can decipher the data. Despite Findrey being old and frail, he is motivated to analyse the data. It will take some time so we see the Carmen and Haeta catching up on old times, Wendy and Joshua helping out to clean the place and Van just sleeping. Yeah… One day, Joshua spots a guest at Haeta’s place. He eavesdrop and hears something about the guest leaving medicine around since she’ll be away for a while. Also, it looks like both know about the claw man. Joshua quickly relays this to Carmen who is praying at her parents’ grave. Carmen wants to talk to Haeta in person first and doesn’t want Joshua to tell Van yet. Meanwhile, Wendy has collapsed and when she comes to, she is hysterical. Carmen talks to Findrey who reveals there is poison in the flowers that Haeta grows if you inhale it too much. The only cure is the antidote but if you take too much, it becomes overdose. Findrey is living proof of this. Anyway, he wants Carmen to save Haeta. Carmen knows where Haeta is (their secret garden during their childhood) and she sees lots of those flowers. She wants Haeta to burn them all but Haeta will not. She accuses Carmen of abandoning this town while she slowly became one with it. I guess Joshua couldn’t keep a secret so Van now interrogates Findrey about the claw man. He claims only Haeta knows about it. He has managed to crack the code but has not decipher the data. After Carmen and Haeta talk about why they love and hate each other, they see fire coming from Findrey’s home. Looks like Findrey decided to take his own life for being a burden to Haeta and the townspeople. Van wants to interrogate Hate about the claw man but Carmen will not let him. She’s her only friend. In the aftermath, Carmen takes the data to Jonet Junction to analyse since she also wants to find the woman who was with Haeta. As she leaves, she sees Haeta burning the entire secret garden down.

Episode 10
While waiting for a train to Jonet, suddenly a terrorist attack destroys the rails. Looks like they’ll have to find another way to Jonet. Joshua asks couldn’t they just ride in Dann? He doesn’t really know how it works in detail and he can’t stay inside it for too long. Vivian overheard this and wants to marry Van?! Too bad he is in love with another woman. Sorry, not you, Wendy. Anyway, Vivian needs their help. As she is from the underwater salvaging company, pirates have lately been attacking and sabotaging their salvage. At this rate they will lose reputation and business so she hopes Van can help protect them for this next salvage. In addition to getting a bonus, they’ll get an express train to Jonet. Deal? As the salvage gets underway, the pirates led by the flamboyant Captain Kaiji show up to cause problems. They freeze the surrounding sea area with the intention to steal the ruins. Cue for Van to summon Dann to go fight them. However he is at a disadvantage underwater since his movements are slow and the enemy keeps firing homing missiles at him. Joshua comes up with a brilliant plan to detonate the ice with his precise calculation. The destruction of the ice is successful and during this commotion, Van uses it to his advantage and defeats the enemy. After getting the reward, all they need now is to board the train. However at the station, Wendy is shocked to see Michael ahead.

Episode 11
Wendy runs across the tracks just to see him. Thank goodness she was faster than the train. Van and Joshua saw her jump over but don’t understand anything else. So they go look for her. Yeah, Joshua got arrested by the cops for looking inside the women’s toilet! Had Carmen not come here to bail him out, I don’t know what will happen to him. Van is also looking but a young loli, Melissa bumps into him and starts crying. Her twin brother, Carossa thinks he bullied her and beats him up. William Will Woo comes to pick them up and refuses to apologize to Van. Wendy is happy to see Michael but apparently he isn’t because she disobeyed him. It looks like Michael sent another letter to Wendy that he is fine and that she doesn’t need to come look for him. Of course she didn’t get that letter. He tells her to go home as he will not return with her. Wendy is shocked and thinks he has been brainwashed by the claw man. On the contrary, Michael believes he is a nice guy and despite he is aware of what his comrades did, he is now here on his own free will. Realizing both of them has changed, he throws away the gun she returns to him. He tells her to find her own gun. He then part ways with her and returns to his comrade, Gadved. The other members reuniting are of course those twins, Woo and Fasalina (the woman Haeta talked to at Trinolia). It seems they have received the ruins which is actually a huge coffin. They are going to repair and activate it to complete the revival of the Original Seven. Michael tells Gadved he spotted that man so the latter plans to draw his attention. When Van finally reunites with a depressed Wendy, he quickly snaps when she tells what happened. He is angry she didn’t ask where Michael went or even about the claw man. Man, Van obviously being too loud and causing a commotion. But Carmen and Joshua had to call him out for being insensitive. Hey, give her a break. She’s just a kid. Lost Wendy wonders on her next move so Van tells her the obvious: Go home. She has no more reason to travel. Wendy packs her bags and leaves… And Michael throws away his treasured photo of the siblings together. Time to move on.

Episode 12
Joshua talks to Wendy if she is okay with this. Well, she seems resigned to this fate… Carmen tries to tell Van about the decipher results but he is no longer interested. Despite Carmen telling him off, he just won’t listen. Soon Van bumps into Gadved and they know each other. It seems Gadved was the one who did the surgery on Van to fuse him with Dann’s system upon dying Helena’s request. Gadved continues to explain about the purpose of the Original Seven as to watch this prison planet but over the years after the mother planet Earth crumbled, so did Original Seven since they became corrupted. All that is left is their mecha. Gadved is the only one left standing and he is forming a new Original Seven to uphold their new ideals. Van and Dann are the strongest since they need to be regularly in contact with each other to heal. Gadved wants him to join Original Seven but Van refuses. This is when Gadved reveals Original Seven works for the claw man. You bet that makes Van mad. Throwing fists of fury!!! Yeah, no effect. Meanwhile Fasalina confronts Carmen and wants to talk. Elsewhere, Wendy stumbles into an old man as he talks to her about the meaning of life and dreams. So basically he thinks Wendy isn’t sad but jealous because Michael has found his dream. So how to make everybody happy? Why, everyone having the same dream! Big enough for everyone to risk their life and only then everyone can stop fearing. As Gadved and Van summon their mecha for their ultimate showdown, Wendy is horrified to learn the truth. Fasalina approaches the old man and gives him his repaired claw hand. Yes, this guy is the claw man!!! More craziness because here comes Ray going trigger happy.

Episode 13
Ray shoots but all he kills are the birds???!!! Damn bird killer!!! This dude so angry that Fasalina gets the better of him. Claw man tries to talk to him why he is so mad. It seems he doesn’t mind being killed but not now. He needs to do something first. He also points out that Ray’s dream to kill him is small and insignificant. Because of that, he will never kill him. I wonder how much longer Ray can hold his anger. Claw man invites Ray to join Original Seven and hopes they can share the same dream. Obviously rejected. Ray shoots but it is Joshua who takes the shot. Don’t want his brother to become a murderer? Damn, if Joshua dies, won’t he become one? But thankfully, Joshua isn’t dead. Back to the mecha fight, Gadved is disappointed Van has been fuelled by revenge and has not mastered Dann at all. He reveals he was the one who invited the claw man to Van’s wedding. So if it is all his fault, Gadved will gladly die here as his atonement. Otherwise, it will be Van’s punishment. Ray pretends to repent so that when the claw man gets close to him, he grabs him and summons Volkein. The claw man remembers this mecha built by Shino. It was to support his ideals and dreams. Because of that, Shino is still alive and finds Ray’s revenge odd. Do you avenge someone who is alive? Obviously this only pisses off Ray further. Michael has finished repairing the mecha in the coffin. So he goes to rescue his boss and Fasalina. As they fly back to base, Van spots this and you can tell from his orgasmic face that he is happy to have finally found the claw man. This means his journey isn’t a waste. This motivation powers up Van and in the final blow from both sides, Van wins. The lethal blow also kills off Gadved. Looks like another vacant spot in Original Seven. Ray has escaped and Joshua vows to continue chasing after him. Wendy claims Michael’s gun as her own. She reunites with Van and looks like they’re going to continue journeying together. This time she wants to decide and see for herself if Michael’s dreams are correct. Otherwise she’ll stop him.

Episode 14
Giovanni hires Van to be his company’s mecha fighter to fight against the other finalist, Pricilla. He wants to win this tournament badly to enhance the reputation of his company. He has approached Pricilla and tried to buy her out to lose on purpose but she rejected. Of course Van will get his fair share of the reward. So apparently Van agreed to this since Joshua is in hospital and they need the money. As you can expect, our gang eavesdrops on Pricilla to learn about her pitiful state of affairs. She runs an orphanage along with her sister, Johanna. They don’t have much but they’re happy. Of course Johanna is against Pricilla doing all this as she is risking her life. Sure, they’ll win big if she wins but they also stand to lose everything if they lose. She also points out how their mother worked to the bone until her death and it will be a shame if Pricilla suffers the same fate. Pricilla has lots of positive energy so you bet she is going to be fine. And with Wendy being so conflicted if they should win or lose for Pricilla’s sake, it’s simple for fun. It’s not my problem! That night, Van and Pricilla stumble into each other and talk. They find out they’re not so bad as they initially thought of each other. Come the finals, Van is of course superior by every means. But he is impressed with Pricilla as she is pretty awesome herself too. The fight is interrupted when this idiot, Zakoto enters the ring. He claims he is the real finalist and was late because the mecha delivery from Jonet was delayed. Being the stubborn guy he is, Van agrees to let Pricilla take over. Instantly she owns him and wins it all. While Van’s side doesn’t get anything, at least Pricilla gives him some food before they leave. You jealous, Wendy? Pricilla hopes to finish their fight one day.

Episode 15
No money. Van tries to get hired as a bodyguard but no takers. So I guess to make fast money, there is the casino. But turtle racing?! Damn, this is going to take some time… I wonder if the turtle understands Wendy’s threats. But I guess it did for at least Van when he threatens to make turtle soup out of it!!! And with that they won! At least enough to ride a luxury blimp to their next destination. Van being the uncivilized dude, mixes drinks and drinks them all at one go, passing out. Cue for flashback when he was a stray and picked up by Gadved to test pilot Dann (in which Helena was a researcher too). Wendy is all dolled up for dinner and Van can’t recognize her?! He is even brutally honest telling her she looks weird. In a good way. Embarrassed and confused? She might not be as refined as the other cultured guests but I guess it beats the barbaric Van mixing all his seasonings and eating from the floor! WTF?! Everybody laughing. So embarrassing! Next day, Woo makes an announcement to the blimp to hand over Van. Of course they refuse so Woo fires into it. Van jumps out to fight Woo in their mecha. However Van is in disbelief as he cannot find the same feelings he had when he fought Gadved. This only serves to anger Woo since he hated coming back to this place. But he takes heart that this means he has overcome whatever he needs to in order to be useful to the claw man. We take a detour back to Pricilla. Because everyone knows she is worried about Van, they tell her to go to him. And it’s also because Joshua was left back at the hospital! I guess now he has a ride to go meet up. Wendy thought Van has won his match but looks like he is down!

Episode 16
Because Van managed to damage Woo, he gives him 3 days for a rematch or leave this place. After all, he is trying to follow the claw man’s ideal of not taking lives needlessly. Woo returns to his castle as he reports happily to a portrait of his late mother of his victory. Wendy nurses Van until she becomes sick. Van tries to get medicine but there is no one in this town. Only machineries. Seeing Woo’s mecha standing on his castle irks Van a lot. More of Van’s flashback of Gadved’s weird advice and some puzzle he gave him. Also, we see Woo jealous that his dearest mom loved the claw man. He wanted to kill him but mother protected him and he killed her instead. So now it looks like in order to reunite with mommy, he must first love daddy? After all, if one is to be loved, one must first love. As Van trains, he realizes this is going nowhere. And this is where sh*t hits the fan. Because Van has turned into a coward as he tries to tell Wendy to run away from it all. However Wendy is just cool. Go ahead. Go run away yourself but leave her behind. This shocks Van as he starts telling his story to Wendy like as though she’s his newly appointed psychiatrist. About him being an orphan and never knowing his parents, the kindness of Helena, his failure to protect her and being a useless fool who only knows how to run away. Wendy tells him he can run away. Nobody will blame him. But for her, she wants to move forward and see if the path she picks is correct. Ironically she learnt this from him. Wow. Talk about shocking reversal of roles. So as Van ponders more of this by himself. He thinks of running away and forgetting the revenge. It is finally then he solves the puzzle and like a madman, declares his love for Helena. He goes to face off with Woo and his sarcasm is back. Now he can pilot Dann effectively. All he needs to do is not think. He becomes one with Dann and beats up Woo. So this is the power of love? Yeah, Woo fights back using the same but looks like Van’s power of love is greater and sends Woo to a crushing defeat. He doesn’t have to kill him because his mecha explodes! Bye. Looks like he can now reunite with his mother. In the aftermath, Van gives the puzzle to Wendy. It would look better on her as an ornament. Better than the turtle. Because he hates turtles. Say what?! Even turtle got flabbergasted!

Episode 17
The whole gang’s assembled. Not just Van, Wendy, Carmen and Joshua, but also Yukiko, those old farts and Pricilla. Thanks to Buchi creating a huge hovercraft base for them, they’re going to have mobility. Also joining them is Manson. Because their next mission is to remove the swimsuit queen, Catherine Nakata who has built her own kingdom and free the port she has been occupying. Thing is, no men are allowed into her kingdom so it’s a job for the women. So I guess this is your swimsuit fanservice episode. Unless you get the DVD version, be prepared for those annoying ass censors. Yes, donkey censors. On pretence they are running away from horrible men, Catherine lets them in but in order for them to be completely accepted into her kingdom, they have to undergo some trial tomorrow. So it looks like an obstacle course, huh? So as they deliberate who should go, it seems Wendy is the only one because the rest can’t swim! Meanwhile we hear Manson telling the rest that he used to be married with Catherine. They were researches in some clothing fibre and hit it big with some very elastic material. However the deal breaker was when Catherine designed some awful men’s underwear. Manson disagreed with it and Catherine became enraged. That’s when she hated men and started forming her own kingdom. He regretted what he did and that’s why he wants to stop her. Van calls his story blessed since his woman is still alive. Also, Fasalina is seen talking to Catherine about some materials she is tasked to obtain from her. Tomorrow comes, Wendy is up against a very fit opponent. I believe the rest are more skilled to traverse the obstacle course and not fall into the water but oh well. Wendy is having trouble but she doesn’t give up. Mainly because the punishment is to wear a very embarrassing swimsuit. I suppose being small has its advantages because she can crawl through small spaces. See the advantage of having small boobs! But when Wendy falls in, her turtle bites her opponent’s swimsuit. Being so elastic, it causes Wendy to spring forth and fly through the finish line. Though she wins, at the same time the kingdom is about to crumble since Ray is drilling through underground?! Too bad Carmen’s fight with Fasalina is again interrupted. When Catherine is brought back to Mason, she doesn’t believe he has repented. So he proves it by wearing that awful underwear. With that, they get back together again. What a weird love story…

Episode 18
After all the testing and tuning, Michael is now officially linked to his mecha, Saudade. But soon he gets into a disagreement with the head mechanic, Zapiero Muttaka about the claw man’s ideal. You see, Muttaka and his little bunch of mechanics realize that the claw man’s idea of ultimate peace is genocide. While the current world is run on despotism and totalitarianism, at least there is public order. Muttaka believes Michael is not corrupted yet and he wants him to take over this nameless organization and lead the world to a better place. The mechanics then kill a scientist and take Michael hostage on pretence to negotiate with the claw man. The claw man agrees to hear them out and even agrees to disclose all the details of the plan and even his successor. However he will not tolerate the changing of the plan. He views humans as combative creatures and it’s the reason Mother died. Muttaka will not trust his words and won’t allow this genocide. Genocide? The claw man thinks he misunderstood. He is just going to turn this world into a very peaceful place. When a mechanic tries to get violent, the claw man hugs him. So tight that he crushes him to death! Holy sh*t! He then becomes sad and griefs over this overdoing. That’s why to prevent from such needless deaths, he must make his dream come true. Muttaka and the others escape but looks like Michael chases after them to settle things. Fully in sync with Saudade, Michael realizes there is nowhere left to run. So he accepts his death as Michael tears the escape machine to pieces. I guess no use talking about what constitutes to happiness or how people can achieve it. Meanwhile Carmen and co has unlocked a secret path.

Episode 19
In order to get praises by the claw man, Carossa decides to summon his mecha and stop the invaders. Melissa doesn’t want to do this but is forced to go along. Carossa feels they need to do this because at this rate Michael will only be praised by the claw man while they will be abandoned and forgotten. Something that Carossa doesn’t want to happen again. As our heroes travel the long undersea tunnel, we see Pricilla trying to flirt with Van but obviously he is too dense to notice. Then there’s Wendy cooking for him but due to ‘interruptions’, I guess Van couldn’t get a taste of her food. Bummer. Time for some mecha action when a couple of mecha dragons attack their ship. Cue for the old farts and Pricilla to ride out in their mecha to show what they’ve got. Van has Joshua pilot the ship to the nearby area that has an opening to the sky so he could summon Dann. In this area, looks like it is a 3 way fight between Van, Ray and the twins. Van wants them to take him to the claw man. Carossa agrees to do so only after he has killed him. So as Van continues to engage in them, Ray fires a powerful shot at the twins. Melissa uses her barrier to block but it is only temporary. Melissa has taken fatal damage so she has some final words for her brother to just stop all this madness. Melissa’s death has Carossa going crazy. Now he turns his attention to avenging her death but Ray fires at this charging kid, effectively killing him.

Episode 20
Van’s team arrives at what seems to be an abandoned communications tower. What luck, they find a map and this allows them to pinpoint where the claw man is. They also picked up a couple of Muttaka’s men who barely escaped. They are seriously wounded but since nobody are doctors… Anyway, one of them sees Wendy and because of her striking resemblance to Michael, he gets scared and starts getting traumatized about the end of the world. Sadly, the survivors passed away and our groupie is left to ponder about Armageddon. While the claw man is giving a speech about his plan to all those attending the conference, Fasalina tells Michael what he needs to know. Better still, she’ll show it to him. So they had sex!!! Definitely easier to understand whatever crap about the world about to be reborn! Next day, it seems Michael and Fasalina come to talk to Wendy personally. Michael wants her to return to her hometown and has given her some cash to boot. If that’s not enough, he has more cash for her comrades so they can disband and end this useless journey. You think Van will agree? Well then, just let him go alone since Michael has always wanted to fight him. So what difference does it make of Wendy going home if the world is going to be destroyed? Michael corrects her they’re not destroying the world. If that’s the case, he wants her to join him then because he can protect her better. By this time, Van and the rest have arrived for the showdown. Before Van can unleash his fury, Fasalina explains about the claw man being terminally ill. So the plan is to use those flowers to dissolve himself into atoms. All life forms will also dissolve into one uniform and thoughtless substance. Everyone will think like the claw man even if he is truly gone after that. If they claim they have been violent, Fasalina also claims they have been killing members of the Original Seven. So the claw man saved his life into some file that can be distributed? I can understand why the rest call it BS. They’re not going to accept this crap. With that, negotiations end so Michael escapes while Fasalina stays back to stall them.

Episode 21
Van fights Fasalina but he finds her moves unpredictable. Not sure if there are some subtle sexual innuendoes since Fasalina is like pole dancing and orgasming while attacking and receiving blows. Carmen, Wendy and Pricilla make hates towards the main base and it seems the countdown to launch Michael into space has begun. A side distraction as Pricilla asks if Wendy likes Van. Because Pricilla herself likes him. We won’t hear Wendy’s answer since there is opposition before them to take down. Carmen then somewhat jokes she also likes Van and wants to be with him. After all, you wonder why she is has been following this groupie when there’s no money in it. Aside getting even with Fasalina, that is. Too bad Van still fighting her. That fight put on hold when Fasalina detects Ray trying to snipe at Michael. Because Ray was damaged with his fight with Carossa, he cannot aim properly. This allows Fasalina to deflect his shot and let Michael launch into space safely. Due to the early launch, Michael is in danger of colliding with Dann’s satellite. Well, just shoot it down! Destroying it now renders Dann immobile. With the plan on schedule, the claw man has everyone gather for the next phase of the ritual. So by the time Wendy and co arrive at the base, it is empty as f*ck. But what’s this? Wendy sees a message blinking on the phone and answers it? Like, why?! Oh, it’s the claw man on the other line. He is glad this is Wendy and he has a final request: Please date him.

Episode 22
So Wendy agrees to go on that date? She just needs to ask a few things and the significance of his plan. The claw man expresses his wish in the things he had done. Although he may have selfishly made Michael do things against his will, he is truly sorry for it. Wendy is starting to feel he isn’t as bad as she thinks he is. When he suggests to come watch the new world with him, she refuses. He respects her decision and laments if he only met her group very much earlier. Wendy returns to her group and they are shocked to hear she went to talk to the claw man. With Van still mad, she tells him off to go kill the claw man himself. She didn’t tell him because she wanted to ascertain things herself. She also relays him a message from the claw man: Sorry about destroying Dann’s satellite. Without it, Dann cannot move and Van will also die. Pricilla wonders if Dann can use other satellites left vacant by the rest. You mean nobody thought about this?! Hence a mission to send Van up into space. It’s a tough job for Joshua since he has to explain to the rest about space, orbits and all those technical rocket scientist stuffs! Might as well die trying. So everybody pitches in and even does experiments to set the launch for Van. Eventually they seek Ray’s help since Volkein has enough power to generate electricity. He refuses to cooperate until Yukiko slaps him and Joshua’s timely lecture. I mean, what else could he do in this state, right? In the end, everything is ready and okay to go. But before that, Pricilla tells her feelings to Van and hopes to hear his answer when he returns. I wonder what Wendy feels about that. Later, Van and Ray showdown trying to kill each other to see who gets the rights to kill the claw man. Since they’re both so clumsy in their attempts, they just give up and throw insults. Next day, Van is successfully launched into space. At the same time, Michael has reached the moon. As he approaches its back side, he is shocked to see its true form.

Episode 23
There is some system at base on the other side of the moon. Also, there are lots of dead floating corpses. The claw man explains this was once a spaceship. He was part of this crew that came from Mother. The crew got along at first but soon they ended up killing each other. That was when he realized no matter how advanced humans are, they will still regress to their basic instinct. It was also then he vowed to create a world without fighting and conflict. Michael has Saudade pull the moon back to the planet! Meanwhile Van is trying to use Gadved’s satellite to heal. Of course it doesn’t match. But easily enough, he forces the system to just heal everything. Everything! Ray talks to Joshua and he is still bent on going to kill the claw man. Surprisingly but not surprisingly, Joshua supports his decision. It’s not like he is going to listen, right? So the best he can do is help him the way he knows best. The gang goes to the centre of the island to fight the claw man but is intercepted by Fasalina and her mecha clones. The old farts and Pricilla take care of the clones to clear a path for Ray to get his revenge on Fasalina. Michael is almost back when before him is a fully recovered Van. Michael thinks he can get rid of Van before re-entering the atmosphere. Van and Michael fight it out as their ideals clash. Too complicated stuffs for simpletons to understand. And somewhere in between, about Wendy. Fighting interrupted when Michael has to re-enter so he activates the mechanism to protect himself while Van seemingly gets swallowed up.

Episode 24
The end of the world is night. So where the heck are the people evacuating to?! Continuing more mecha action of the old farts and Pricilla fight off the clones (WTF the old farts are going to force Van to marry Pricilla when all this is over?!) as Ray faces off with Fasalina. It looks like they’re both going all out to kill each other but eventually Ray gets the better of her since he got some help from Joshua. At the same time, the doomsday device is ready as the claw man prepares to take his final step to realize his dream. Ray talks to Joshua about Shino. After all that has been said, Ray considers himself a coward who is still running away. Otherwise he cannot accept her death. After killing the claw man, he’ll go back to his old self and face Shino again. After that he knocks out Joshua because from now on it’ll be too dangerous. As Ray nears the doomsday machine, Michael is also back in time to protect it. But Ray uses Volkein as a decoy to self-destruct along with Saudade. Ray then kills all the security guard as he makes his way to the claw man. Ray has him choose between his life and his dream seeing he has crushed many to achieve his. After all, Ray had a very simple dream until the claw man took it away from him. Ray shoots him but the claw man deflects the bullet. Call it dumb luck and plot convenience since the bullet gets stuck in the doomsday machine, causing it to malfunction! WTF?! WHY IS IT SO FRAGILE???!!! The claw man is horrified and his expression is priceless, something that Ray has been seeking. Reinforcements then shoot Ray but he can now rest easy that his revenge has been achieved. Oh Joshua, you can’t run fast enough to say big brother? And Ray’s final vision as he reunites with Shino and living the peaceful life.

Episode 25
The crew reports they can fix the system and resume operations. From despair to relief, the claw man. This only makes Joshua mad that Ray died for nothing. He is then thrown into a room. With Michael’s return, Fasalina contacts him and despite her mecha is destroyed, she is still alive and will make her way back to base. Joshua so mad that he is trashing things in his room? Oddly, he assembles the stuffs in the room to become a weapon and saves Yukiko who is actually tasked to rescue him. Yeah, the irony. Joshua then tries to cut the main line to put a damper on the end of the world programme. He sounds like wanting to sacrifice himself but Yukiko reminds him on what’s important. Carmen stumbles into a room filled with those flowers. And since Fasalina is back, time for a rematch. Slight interruption with the return of a certain someone. Oh yeah. Van’s back. Michael goes to intercept him and it’s another round of yelling, insulting and I’m-right-you’re-wrong argument. Since Van is the hero, he powers up Dann to defeat Saudade. He’s making look so easily. As we’re into the final moments of the world, the old farts and Pricilla resume consciousness to return to fight. Van finally faces off with the claw man. Revenge is only all on his mind. The claw man is feeling good that his dream will come true so he will give Van a present by resurrecting his wife. Meanwhile Wendy confronts Michael. Do they have time for this? That’s why Wendy draws out her gun (formerly his) on him.

Episode 26
Due to Mother’s technology, it is able to rewrite history and hence Helena will be revived. However Van calls BS on that because that would mean taking her death away. Helena is dead! And I will kill you! That’s what Van came here to do! Not to listen to his talk! That is when the claw man realizes he is an idiot and is impressed? Meanwhile Wendy shoots Michael. In the hand. She tries to convince him that despite this world is full of flaws, everyone still loves it. Really? She thinks he likes the claw man’s world and that’s why he didn’t stop to think about what others feel. Michael is not happy she is insulting the claw man and is about to strangle her but the turtle bit his hand. Ouch. Van is temporarily defeated but after flashbacks of images of his adventures, the one that wakes him up is his bride. Not Wendy. Helena! With Dann operating on Mother’s technology, he manages to do enough damage and with Joshua’s help of finally cutting the main cable, the plan comes to a halt. Michael is in despair but he doesn’t think his decision is wrong. He wants to walk his own path and hopes Wendy to do the same. The siblings part ways and say goodbye. The claw man is one positive dude. He believes he can restart everything together. Thanks to Van, this means he can’t die until his plan is achieved. Oh yeah, he wants to be Van’s friend! Sorry, the feeling is not mutual. More Van angst. The claw man feels reborn. Van just feeling angrier. Van opens a path directly to the claw man. No formalities here. He just cut him down. That’s the end of that. And now the entire place is crumbling. Everybody evacuate! Fasalina has no more reason to live and wants Carmen to kill her. She is about to oblige but Michael won’t let her. Carmen hopes this is her new reason to live. But WTF the slab comes crashing down on them! Oh well, at least they’re together in death. Our heroes escape thanks to Kaiji and friends. In the aftermath as everyone celebrates, Van leaves without saying a word. This upsets Pricilla because what happened to their date?! I suppose giving excuses like a man needs a new dream to follow won’t cut it for her. Though, she stays positive that she might be able to see him one day. Carmen leaves Wendy with Van. Carmen hinting she likes Van or is that just a joke? Wendy asks Van about his next move. Well, he’ll think about that. With that, they part ways. That was the last time she saw him. A few years later, a grown up Wendy is telling all this story to a reporter. Damn, her turtle is also huge! Wendy also confirms that some body found isn’t actually Van. And just the thought of hoping to see him again, here comes Van staggering in looking for some food.

He Who Plots To Hurt Others Often Hurts Himself
Uhm… That feels like an unceremonious ending. Sure, the world is saved, the world continues to turn. People continue to live their lives. Time skip to an adult Wendy for some reason telling her adventures with Van. What’s it supposed to mean? Couldn’t she have written it down in a book or something? And then they suddenly reunite just like that. I don’t get it. As long as they see each other again that is good enough? Well, Wendy is mature enough to be his wife now. Is that promise/claim still valid? Is Van ready to move on and marry a second time? I bet the claw man won’t be around to kill any brides. Yeah, speaking of which, seeing the claw man getting struck down so easily feels cheap. But I guess that shows that Van means business and he has achieved what he has set out to achieve. No nonsense and delay in killing the claw man. Uh huh. Probably the more positivism crap he hears from the old geezer, the angrier he becomes. Van beating Mr Death to take the claw man’s life first…

The story sounds intriguing at first despite the cliché synopsis of Van trying to seek revenge against the claw man for killing his wife. Hence the first half feels like standalone filler episodes because with Wendy, they go from one place to another while trying to find the elusive claw man but end up getting involved in the shenanigans of the town they’re in. Often by the end, realizing they just missed the claw man by a second or two. Pretty okay, I guess. Once we know how the claw man looks like, the second half becomes a bore. Yes, it becomes one long draggy affair to hunt and chase him down as well as to stop his plans to end the world. That’s why I suppose some of the characters that Van met during the journey, return to help him as to prolong the drama and provide some mecha action against the claw man’s comrades. It would’ve been utterly even more boring had the journey been just Van and Wendy so they add more characters to spice things up (not necessarily in an exciting way) and drag out the plot. How long can you prevent the inevitable that is the end of the world? Well, this anime showed us, didn’t it?

I know, being an armchair critic is easy. It’s my right as a viewer, you know! But anyway, all I’m saying is that this series is an original anime series and not based on any manga or novel in which many adapted anime series are based from. So while it is a good try that they came up with an original story back in 2005, sometimes there are a few plots that are just mind boggling and plain dumb. The one that takes the cake was Ray’s death as he makes his final charge of revenge against the claw man. Imagine his mere tiny bullet getting stuck in the cog works. Oh damn. That has got to be the most convenient of plot ever! Can the claw man deflect that so perfectly? Yeah, you could say it’s his own fault for letting that happen. So as to give Ray a farewell present and be satisfied of seeing the claw man’s face of despair. Now he can rest in peace instead of returning as a vengeful haunting ghost! Yikes. Thankfully that didn’t happen. Then there’s the purely obligatory fanservice episode of the ladies in swimsuits and the WTF love comedy story of Mascotte and Honey. And that Captain Kaiji one too. It’s just really silly if you think about it.

So everything boils down to destroy the world or rather change everything on this planet so that there will be no more conflicts and war, huh? Well, I still don’t really understand the sketchy details but it’s that age old irony and debate again that villains often want to change the world (whether or not it is for the good or the bad) and the heroes preferring status quo. Yeah, also the age old argument that we have to value individualism rather than the collective good for all. So better have everyone with different personalities (including accepting there will be bad people who will do bad things) than everyone being the same good zombie. You’re no human when you’re the latter.

As for the characters, I don’t think that there is anyone that is likeable. Even Van himself as the main character and hero (more like anti-hero). Because of his revenge driven goal and nothing on his mind but kill the claw man, kill the claw man, KILL THE CLAW MAN! It just makes him quite annoying. Especially in the final episode where he was all just rage, rage, RAGE!!! It’s painful to see him like this because the more he spouts about revenge, the more I see him hurting himself. Oh well, it’s prove that he is still alive if he can feel pain, right? Twisted. There was one point he was at his lowest and despite it was weird to see him this way of wanting to give up revenge, but it’s still not as irritating about him being stubborn in wanting to just kill the claw man. After all, we’ve come so far into this series so this is the best we know and ‘like’ about Van. I suppose it is not a laughable matter that Helena is the world to him so without her it is as good as the end of the world. An empty being without the only woman in his life so his only goal in life is to, wait for it, kill the claw man! I sympathize with his character but that is really all that has got it going for a character like Van. Nothing else.

Though, I have to admit that Van feels a bit different than other characters because of his anti-hero traits as he does what he wants and doesn’t care about others. Unless he is obliged to because of the plot. Oh yeah, more weirdness to add to his personality because he likes to drown his food by emptying all the condiments and seasoning! Grandma will definitely kill him if she sees how he kills the food. Oh well, nothing tastes better than a dish called revenge served cold! I suppose going around the world and finding new seasonings to dump on his food (with milk to go along with it) must be his new goal to live now, huh? Or is he still thinking and wandering about for a goal? And what’s this about him having so many nicknames before settling for Van of the Dawn? Van the Van-geance should be a better one! Haha! Oh wait. It’s Van the Invincible according to Wendy… Boring…

Even Wendy isn’t so likeable but at least she is more tolerable than Van. Is it because she’s a kid? I think it’s a running joke about her being treated as a kid and she doesn’t like that. Another irony about her is that she dislikes it when Van can’t remember her name but she herself cannot remember Carmen’s name! At least Van eventually managed to remember and say Wendy’s name but Wendy still can’t remember Carmen’s name at all? No wonder she’s a kid. Anyway, the chemistry between Wendy and Van is weird. Because of Van being angry and brooding, he has no space to let others, let alone other woman or a kid like Wendy into his life. She’s travelling with him with the thinnest of excuse to find Michael and after that, changes the goal post to see if his decision is the right one, if not correct him. It is obvious Wendy likes him but we all know what Van’s mind has been preoccupied with. Hence an annoying one-sided love affair. Don’t worry, Wendy. You’re not the only anime girl who has an unrequited love with her crush. And her pet turtle is just so forgettable despite being the series’ animal mascot. Is it not? Okay, maybe not.

Carmen started out as someone who only gets involved in missions just for the money. With her intelligence and resources, it’s a good way to make money. I feel that she has been dumbed down ever since she permanently joined Van’s group in taking down the claw man and his aides. Then there is Joshua who is the liveliest among the pack. Sometimes I think he is written as a joker character in some ways because of his sunny disposition (is it just me who feels his smile makes him look like an idiot?) who doesn’t hold any grudges (until Ray died) and is often neglected by Van just because he is Ray’s brother. Oh well, somebody needs to be the technical nerd of the team. The rest of the other characters joining them in the second half feels like it is only needed because a small quartet doesn’t seem plausible enough to save the world. Okay, I made that up. But yeah, it feels like the need of more friendship power to save the world. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Because otherwise why do you need the old farts (with one of them eternally sleeping) to make their return? Are they too old to play heroes of justice? It’s never too old to be the hero of justice! Pricilla? They need a love rival for Wendy, huh? Yeah, she’s more smoking hot in some department to kiddie Wendy as well as more outgoing. Otherwise it’s no fun and utterly boring seeing the dead never-ever-happening Van x Wendy. Yukiko? Somebody needs to cook and do the laundry, right? I mean, she has no fighting skills at all so why else would she join this group? Ray? Do we need another Van?! Overlapping characters! Not even likeable either. An excuse for Joshua to tag along.

In the initial episodes, they try keep the claw man’s identity a mystery. Is it so as to build up a certain biasness towards him? Because all we’ve got on him was from Van’s point of view. Somebody who kills somebody’s wife on their wedding day must be a despicable villain and an utter piece of sh*t. And then when he finally makes his appearance and we learn more about him, we start to question if he is really a bad guy. I mean, he isn’t as despicable as we thought he would turn out to be. At least, our stereotypical views of what constitutes a villain. Except for his twisted method of wanting to save the world, everything else about him just contradicts and confuses us about him being an antagonist. Honestly if I do not have the context of this anime, giving the choice to choose between Van or the claw man, I think I would have gone with the latter! Seriously! The irony that the claw man is more likeable compared to Van! Not saying that the claw man is a likeable character in general but in comparison to Van who is always mad, the claw man’s cool and calming demeanour is much more attractive. Do you not think so? I can see why Michael is attracted to join him and his cause. So it isn’t clear why he killed Helena or Shino but it could be the case of showing too much love so his unconscious overbearing strength accidentally killed them (as seen demonstrated on one of his crew member). That’s my theory but I suppose people like Van and Ray won’t want to hear any reasoning at all.

One of the more disappointing characters are the Original Seven. At least some of them. Especially Woo, Carossa and Melissa. It feels like these antagonists who side with the claw man are only necessary as to provide some sort of mecha fights. And then they get killed off! While Gadved has his history with Van, it is not the case with Woo, Carossa and Melissa. Their characters are shallow and even though they have their own history, it’s just scratching the surface and that you feel it is not worth investing in it. They just exist to provide some resistance and then getting killed off. Obviously Michael and Fasalina being the longest survivors of the Original Seven so as to keep dragging the plot for the eventual Wendy x Michael confrontation (it would render Wendy’s character and role useless if Michael had died so early on) as well as Carmen x Fasalina showdown for the umpteenth time (hot chicks need to fight it out somehow).

Action bits are okay and it never crossed my mind that this is a mecha genre after a while into the series. If you’re a mecha fan, I’m sure there are better mecha action series out there like the long running Gundam one. This one just feels passable. This coming from a non-mecha fan. After all, it is not clearly fleshed out the system regarding the Original Seven and its recharging satellite that orbits around the planet. I don’t know if they don’t know what to name this anime because there is hardly any gun or sword action. I mean, Van uses his flexible sword mainly to summon Dann and Wendy hardly uses her gun. At least Ray fired more bullets from his gun that looks like a sword. Is this the real Gun x Sword? So they don’t want to name it Mecha x Destroy The World because it will be too obvious and too silly as a name.

Art and animation feel okay, reeking mid-2000s anime style. Van being a lanky character, sometimes I think his design was inspired by Cowboy Bebop’s Spike. Sometimes I feel this is his alter ego if he was one fuelled by revenge and rides a mecha. Wendy has one of the silliest hair braids ever because to me it looks more like a pair of giant turds! Seriously! Not croissants. Turds!!! Mecha designs are okay too but at least they look cooler (as all of them are unique designs) than many other human characters that look weird sometimes. This anime is done by AIC A.S.TA. who did Sora No Otoshimono, Bamboo Blade, Jinrui Wa Suitai Shimashita and Persona 4 The Animation. Not sure if this company is dormant (last I checked, they aren’t closed down yet) since they haven’t been making any anime since 2013. Though, I did read that some of its divisions quit and formed new anime studios after that.

Voice acting also sounds pretty standard. Despite having lots of veteran seiyuus, I only recognized Takahiro Sakurai as Ray and Kikuko Inoue as Carmen. The rest of the other casts are Takanori Hoshino as Van (Serizawa in Mob Psycho II), Houko Kuwashima as Wendy (Sango in Inu Yasha), Junko Noda as Joshua (Kitsune in Love Hina), Kenyuu Horiuchi as the claw man (titular character in Guin Saga), Saeko Chiba as Pricilla (Natsuki in Mai-HiME), Satsuki Yukino as Yukiko (Otae in Gintama), Souichiro Hoshi as Michael (Kaoru in Ai Yori Aoshi), Masayo Kurata as Fasalina (Koyomi in Girls Bravo), Kazuhiko Kishino as Gadved (King Kinniku in Kinnikuman) and Chiwa Saito as Melissa (Senjougahara in Monogatari Series).

The opening theme is the same title as the name of this series. It is one of those titles that is fully instrumental. Except for that opera tenor acting as a background accompaniment. And I should have guessed from its tune as well as the opening credits animation that it sounds very much like a song for a mecha anime. But is it me that I find it annoying that there are lots of swooshing and sword clashing sound effects in this instrumental? Come to think of it, the opener feels a bit like a mess because they include those drums, giving an impression this is a jungle anime! Ooga! Ooga! The main ending theme is A Rising Tide by Shuntaro Okino and is entirely in English. Something about this song reminds me of those old British pop music. Heck, I thought this was The Associations! Because of that similar sounding drowsy singing voice, I also thought the special ending theme sung by the same person, Calling You was also The Associations! There are other different special endings theme like the angelic and lovely ballad of Paradiso by Hitomi, the very typical retro music style of S.O.S. by the quartet of Kikuko Inoue, Houko Kuwashima, Satsuki Yukino and Saeko Chiba. All not too bad. Including the insert song La Speranza by Hitomi that also resembles closely like a church hymn.

Overall, this anime isn’t near a masterpiece and has its flaws. Despite having fall short of its expectations, it is still not a bad anime and you can enjoy the silliness and mecha action. The plot is average and to a point draggy, the characters aren’t that all likeable, decent animation, some funny moments but usually WTF moments (like Van coming in riding the wave on a surfboard!), there are some obvious fanservice moments as well as forced cheesy romance trying to fit inside it all but just fizzles out before it could start. Ah yes, you could say the entire series is a mess. Just like how Van likes his food! Like as though they’re trying to dump everything, mix it all up to cover up the actual stuffs! And some may like it while others don’t. It’s all just personal taste. Thankfully it didn’t leave any bad aftertaste in my mouth. But I’d like something sweet and savoury to cover up all that if you don’t mind.

The God Of High School

December 18, 2020

In the previous season, we had a Korean webtoon called Tower Of God. Because it didn’t get any continuation, to satisfy our cravings for a Korean webtoon with God, I guess that’s why we got The God Of High School in the next season. Heh. Okay, I made at up. But yeah. If climbing towers are too fantasy-like for you, then let’s have something more modern and contemporary. After all, who doesn’t love teens and high school kids as young and vibrant, energetic heroes, right? So what’s the story for this God theme? Apparently high schoolers are set to compete in a tournament in which the winner will be granted anything they want. Yeah, sounds so cliché and unoriginal but what the heck. When you’re young and naïve, there’s so many unfulfilled dreams and the fastest way to grant them is… Yeah… Let loose all those raw power and energy!

Episode 1
A few guys are going to get back at the president, Park Mujin and show him who is actually running the show. Threats, corruptions and scandals, you name it, they got it. However a strange phenomenon soon occurs because a giant hand slams and flattens the entire island they’re on! Jin Mori made some promise to grandpa when he was young. But today, looks like he is running late for the biggest martial arts tournament for high schoolers. You bet he is going to fly there. I wonder if his bicycle is on steroids. Meanwhile Yoo Mira is asking a bunch of judo losers (because they’re stumped they didn’t get selected for the tournament) directions to the arena. Since she loves their muscles, they flex for her. Mori is already running late but witnesses a purse snatching thief before his eyes. He thinks granny needed the money for her grandkid’s surgery so you bet his sense of justice is kicking him. Damn, his bicycle can chase after the bike? Mori eventually slams into Mira and she wants payback. Till she hears that made up grandma story. Now she joins him to chase after the thief. The thief scatters some money to lose them. Mira almost got him but crashed into the signboard. But it is ultimately Han Daewi who took him down with a single punch. All 3 made it just in time for the tournament. The announcer briefly explains the no holds barred rules of the fights. Use any style or weapon till your opponent cannot fight or gives up. They didn’t mention about death. Is that outcome possible? The winner will be granted anything by the organizers. Each of the fighters got a bracelet that shows their vital stats. Some nanomachines technology in their bloodstreams thingy. Who cares about technicalities?! Start the fight now! But everyone is shock when this Seoul preliminaries starts off as a battle royale. Who cares?! Everybody starts beating up everybody. We see those with potential strutting their stuffs. This match has a latecomer and he is Kang Manseok. Despite having some handicap, many are no match for his strength and speed. Until Mira takes on him. Don’t count Mori out. He wants to have some fun with this guy too.

Episode 2
Well, the match ended prematurely. Because as soon as Mori was going to take on Manseok, Mira snapped his neck for taking her sword without permission! But thanks to those nanomachines, all injuries are repaired. The trio head back for the day and reveal their reason to win this tournament. Mori wants to fight all kinds of people and be the strongest. Mira needs to revive her family’s sword dojo. Daewi says he is in for the money but there is more he isn’t telling. Mori fools around with Mira’s sword and accidentally drops it in the river. As they go look for it, we hear Mira elaborate on her past. Father gave her the sword and told her to find a successor no matter what. Thus most of her life, Mira couldn’t join other girls doing normal girly things and instead practised her sword. The Seoul preliminaries begin and the winner will participate at the national level. In this elimination tournament, we see our main characters breeze through as well as others like Ma Miseon and Baek Seungchul. The big heavyweight match is between Manseok and Go Gamdo. As it begins Gamdo looks like he is overwhelming Manseok. Only when Manseok takes off his restrains and starts to get serious, Gamdo is now in trouble. He takes a beating and not even his greatest taichi move could turn the tables. Manseok is trying to force Gamdo to beg for forgiveness, something that Gamdo will not do. Hence Manseok continues to torture him with bone breaking moves. Not for the faint hearted. Until Mori jumps in and beats up this guy. Of course this move is illegal so the executives jump in to apprehend him. Manseok isn’t done yet. He jumps right back in to fight. Flashback shows he sought greater power but unfortunately he couldn’t attain it. More epic power moves by both of them but it is Mori who eventually knocks him out. The match is stopped by Mujin himself. As the tournament head admin, he apologizes to the crowd for Mori violating the rules. As he will be punished, he assures the tournament will proceed as usual. Mori is taken off the stage but there are many who are cheering for him.

Episode 3
As Gamdo is in ICU, clearly he is out. Manseok is having a mental breakdown so he too can’t participate. Judge P suggests he gets expelled for violating the rules but as Mujin realizes who his grandfather is, this is going to be interesting. We now focus on Mira’s match with Miseon. Sword girl no match for pro wrestler girl at first since her body is trained to be hard as iron. Miseon then lets us know her dreams of wanting a male harem. So much so she came all the way from USA to participate in this tournament. So there are no hot guys in America, huh? When Mira loses her sword, she then uses her bare hands as swords to defeat Miseon. Mujin sees Mori and tells him he will fight Judge Q tomorrow to see if he can be reinstated. However Mori throws a tantrum he wants to fight Judge R (the one who invited him to participate) as he thinks he is stronger. Judge Q punches him down to prove he is stronger so Mori now likes it? This guy a masochist? As Mori gets the greenlight to return home, Judge P wonders why Mujin let him eat some forbidden fruit. It is to see if he is the real deal or not. Back home, Mori vomits blood and collapses. We take a detour as we see Daewi visiting a sick friend at hospital. Then there are some bullies who try to badmouth them but Daewi is so zen he doesn’t fight back. Next day, Daewi is up against Seungchul. The latter can predict his karate’s moves because he studied all forms of martial arts. As long as has knowledge and violence, he will never lose. Hence participating in this tournament to test his theory. Despite his nerdy outlook, Seungchul packs a punch with just his baseball bat. Daewi could’ve lost but images of his sick friend fuel him to get up and fight back. I don’t know if those heavenly moves are part of karate, but it is what defeats Seungchul and destroys his theory. Now it is Mori’s redemption fight. He is not here. You mean he is still passed out back at his home?! But wait. Here he is! In this handicap match, if Mori manages to knock Judge Q down once, he wins. Before Judge Q could move, Mori takes off his glasses and pushes him down. THAT’S IT?! No wonder the crowd so angry. Are they joking? But Judge Q is so mad he unleashes his Gremlin joker familiar to fight?! WTF?! Mori is left to run and could’ve been defeated had the other executives not restrain him. Mujin declares Mori’s victory and punishes Judge Q by docking his pay. Mujin is now certain he is Taejin’s tiger cub and will not let him slip from his grasp.

Episode 4
The semi-finals will be Mira vs Daewi as well as Mori vs Byeon Jaehee. But first, more Mira drama. Because this cool handsome guy, Oh Seongjin comes up to her and proposes to get married right now! You see, the only reason Mira says yes is because he promises he can revive her Moon Light sword technique and make it famous throughout the world. Flashback shows her father died while she was young and although her uncle took her in and promised to help revive Moon Light, because he was so weak and got a beating by his students, eventually they left. Hence Mira views herself as the only one who is capable of being the successor. Although her uncle doesn’t like this, but I guess he has to give in. Uh huh. Seongjin claims he can make their dreams come true. But obviously Mori didn’t have the same idea. He marches right down to Mira’s place just to ask her if this is what she wants. I mean, marrying a guy whom she isn’t in love with just to protect her sword style? What sh*t is this?! Furthermore, she is dropping out of her semi-final?! Of course she kicks him out. Mira is all dolled up on her wedding day. Her uncle tries to have Seongjin change his mind and call off the wedding since Mira might think she made a good decision. But Mira assures this is what she wants and is happy about it. After all, Seongjin promises she can do anything for the sake of Moon Light.

As the wedding starts, uninvited Mori tries to barge in. Stopped by the guards until Daewi shows up. It is revealed that Seongjin belongs to a cult and they want him to find a sword who can rule God as well as a successor who can draw out that sword’s power. While Daewi handles Seongjin, Mori talks to Mira. For the umpteenth time, is this what you want?! She tries to attack him for running his mouth but accidentally hits her uncle. He realizes this is wrong and her father wouldn’t have want this either. So it’s just simple. Do what you want. With the deal sealed, Mira apologizes to Seongjin and wants to call off the wedding. That’s when he shows his true colours and just wants the sword and successor. He materializes some samurai ghost to fight them but Mira only uses her hand to take him down. Wow. She looks so happy. That’s the smile we’re talking about. Although Seongjin runs away with her sword, she is okay with it since her father’s spirit lives on with her. But now we move on to Daewi’s drama. As his friend’s condition has taken a turn for the worse, when bullies show up to taunt him again, this time he snapped. Badly bruised bullies + bloodied fists. Oh no. So during the semi-final match, Daewi beats the sh*t out of Mira! OMFG. Is he the devil now?! Daewi wins this brutal match of course. Damn, Mira bleeding like hell. I know it’s injuries she sustained from Seongjin’s fight but still, the drama…

Episode 5
A couple of years ago, Daewi and Woo Seungtae were always fighting. Because they’re friends? We breeze though Mori’s semi-final fight so that we know it’s going to be Mori-Daewi final. Of course the night before, Mori visits Mira in hospital. She admits she is weaker than Daewi and that’s why she lost. But it still doesn’t explain his violent demeanour then. It’s not like him. And now for the much anticipated finals. Both guys go on the offensive trading punches and kicks. Daewi makes a comeback as he trashes Mori. We see a short clip Daewi confronting Mujin. Because Daewi’s wish is to have Seungtae get those nanomachines treatment, he can’t wait till he wins this entire tournament so Mujin cut him a deal that if he can win this preliminaries finals, they’ll administer some. Meanwhile Mira is discharged and her getting lost to the ICU, I guess it’s for some convenience to see Seungtae breathe his last breath. More Daewi’s flashback. As a delinquent, he often got into fights. On a day he went to save a comrade alone, the rivals ganged up on him. Surprisingly Seungtae aided him. They won but not before taking some damage too. Because Daewi doesn’t believe in friends, Seungtae believes otherwise. The more you trust someone, the more they’ll trust you. And so that’s the start of their friendship. And right now Mujin comes by to whisper to Daewi that Seungtae is dead. The contract is null. Do what you want. Can he do that?! I mean he is the boss and can do anything but the match still isn’t over. Oh, it’s to bring out his true character when a man is at his lowest. Right now Daewi is just stunned, taking blows and blocking from Mori’s attacks. Until Mira shows up to show him a letter left by Seungtae. Can she just interrupt the match like that?! Anyway the letter states he is happy Daewi fought for him. He has no regrets and hopes Daewi the same. It’s time for him to fight for his own sake. With that, Daewi revives and now both guys beat the crap out of each other having fun with all smiles. That’s the spirit. In the end, Mori lands his original blue dragon kick to knock out Daewi (devastating half the arena too!) and wins it! Mori is no Seungtae but I guess Daewi has resigned to his fate he’ll always have idiots as his friends.

Episode 6
Taejin faces off with a whole bunch of cultists in the woods. Not that he likes it but he has too. Yeah, the scenery destroyed. More cultist dudes show up. What’s this about God? And they summon a giant sword from the sky?! Anyway, the tournament finals format is now changed to a team match. The top 3 of each regional preliminary will represent their region. Hence we see Mira defeating Jaehee to make it together for Team Seoul with Mori and Daewi. We see Mujin discussing with his judges about the change in rules because there might be other potentials in other regions possessing the qualities of the Key. Something about turning one’s strongest emotion into power that moves them forward. Also on the case of Seongjin, this guy is from a shady group called Nox and looks like they’re making their move with reports of their activities spotted all over the country. Hence Mujin has summoned the rest of The Six. One of them is Nah Bongchim who plans to take Mori as his disciple to see Taejin’s reaction. Mira bumps into Sim Bongsa (the announcer of the tournament). He is actually blind and talks to her that she hasn’t unleashed her full potential of Moon Light yet. He hopes she can do so when the time comes and not hesitate. Gee, why is he telling her this? Turns out he was blinded by this technique. After that, Sim is confronted by a Nox assassin. Elsewhere, Daewi talks to Mujin and plans to carry on despite the deal has been cut off. But he wants to know what kind of power is moving behind the scenes. Mujin explains about Charyeok. Apparently there will be people whom they will face who can draw the powers of the Gods. Drawing forth that power and making use of it as their own is called so and the real intention of this tournament. While Mori is helping others and training, he briefly meets Bongchim. The finals is here. Looks like Sim isn’t the announcer but somebody else. Well, he got killed! You don’t say when Nox has infiltrated the tournament because isn’t Team Jeju as shady as hell???!!! Oh yeah, looks like Judge Q also gets done in by that Nox assassin, Drake.

Episode 7
Team Seoul will fight Team North Chungcheong. First up is Mori against Nah Gidong. Mori decides to unleash his new move by pressing his pressure points as learnt from Bongchim. Too bad he pressed wrongly and paralyzes himself! Here’s the beat down. Easy win for Gidong! Baka. Next is Daewi against Jin Pumgwang. Of course we need to see the latter’s flashback since he is 38 years old! OMG! He still in high school?! Because of his past failures, he never gave up even if others mock him. When Jang Jangmi lost her kendo match and was about to throw in the towel, Pumgwang came to give her some hope and relate why he never gives up. It’s simple. He won’t give up on himself. Ever since, Jangmi helped him with his studies. Of course Daewi too won’t give up and as expected, he withstands Pumgwang’s might and knocks him out. Meanwhile Drake mocks how he also killed Sim’s family. So Judge Q gets pissed off and fights back with his joker monster. Fight interrupted when Nox buddies, Axley and Saturn are here to warn Drake about his mission. It was not him who was supposed to kill Judge Q but them. Whatever. Judge Q fights them and it might seem one-sided until Judge O comes by to his aid. Back to the final round with Mira facing off Jangmi. As you can expect, Mira holds the advantage in this sword maiden battle (did Sim’s lesson prove helpful?). Yeah, a kick to Jangmi’s face is all it takes to knock her out. Is that a Moon Light move? Whatever. It works. And of course Pumgwang’s advice that this isn’t over yet. Don’t give up. There’s always next time. At the same time, our judges finish their fight with the Nox side and force Axley to retreat with Saturn. Wounded Drake still thinks he can fight them but he explodes! As Judge P reports to Mujin, he knows that they have a traitor within their mist. Also, reports of Taejin’s dismembered arm is found and he could’ve been taken somewhere. Now we see the match between Team Gyeongsangnam and Team Jeollabuk. Jeon Jugok thinks he’s got it but he gets violently chomped by the shark Charyeok of Jegal Taek! The overkill has Jugok’s maid step in but she too gets abuse. Mira thinks Mori will intervene and stops him. But she didn’t Daewi would jump in to stop the fight! Of course the judges stop them. Jugok tries to fight back but gets further owned.

Episode 8
We breeze through the first 2 matches of Team South Jeolla vs Team South Chungcheong. The third match lasts a little longer since they need to highlight the antiquated martial arts technique of Park Ilpyo. Of course he wins it for his team. Mori notices the tiger emblem on his shirt which is the same as the military his grandpa is in. This has Mori remember Mujin summoning him and showing footage of a devastated site where Taejin battled with Nox. He has been missing since and due to the amount of blood at the site which is his, it is most likely he won’t live long. But Mori isn’t worried. Anybody picking a fight with grandpa, he is more worried for the opponent! Later Ilpyo meets and spar with Mori. It’s to tell him that Taejin is a person he respects, hence the tiger emblem. After his father died young and mother abandoned him at a dojo, much subsequently only Taejin came to see him. Ilpyo’s grandpa was Taejin’s friend and the former died while trying to save the world. Taejin wanted to give this book to Ilpyo’s dad about some ancient martial arts but I guess it’s too late. He hopes Ilpyo can grow up strong because his grandpa’s pride is inside him. The duo are then attacked by Taek. But Taek just gives up and goes away. Like he’s just teasing them. Judge Q confronts Mujin about the death of Sim’s wife and son but gets beaten up and his pay docked to compensate for the damage. Had he listen to Judge P earlier, this wouldn’t have happened. Sim’s wife and son are still alive and Drake killed marionettes she switched then. With no money, here comes Daewi asking him to teach him Charyeok in exchange he will cook for him every day. Mori further reminisces when grandpa left him because otherwise bad guys will come target him. Mori thinks he is strong enough but of course as a 6 year old, he wasn’t. To make it up to him, Taejin got him whatever he want for his birthday and that is the huge prized photo of them that Mori hangs up on his wall. He is surprised when Mira and Daewi come in to celebrate his birthday. Yeah, they got a message from their bracelet. They celebrate and renew their rivalry. But first, got to win this tournament. Next morning, Mori sees a letter left on his doorstep. It contains a map as well as a picture of Taejin brutally beaten and tied up.

Episode 9
Mori makes his way but promises to be back in time for the tournament. I’m sure he would. Because Team Seoul is now up against Team Jeju. You bet Mira and Daewi are worried about that idiot. Judge P reminds them that because Daewi is suspended for a match, as long as Mira wins hers and Mori returns in time for his, they still have a chance. Mira goes up against Lee Marin. Yeah, this muscular macho dude is so gay. However he is in possession of her real sword. Because the sword recognizes Marin as its owner, even if it is in Mira’s possession, the sword will return to Marin. Because of this, Marin mocks her as being powerless and a disappointment. Especially Nox initially having high expectations of her as the Moon Light’s successor to awaken this sword’s power to grasp the power of God. Meanwhile Daewi is looking for Mori but stumbles into defeated Pumgwang. The culprit is Ma Bora who is Taek’s teammate. She’s a Bruce Lee wannabe? She is impressed with Daewi and kisses him! This mess is stopped when Taek shows up. Nothing to see here. Move along. Elsewhere, Mori finds grandpa but it is too late because this is a trap as grandpa turns into some blob and explodes! The culprit is Peilong of Nox who thinks it is enough to kill Mori. Too bad, Mori still lives. Peilong uses his clones to keep Mori down. Peilong narrates about Taejin being their final weapon against the north and became a hero after he was the only survivor of the north’s death squad. After all, he is the only person who defeated everyone in The Six. Mori then sees the bodies of the real Team Jeju members. Mori now freaking mad. Mira looks like she is moments from defeat but it’s cue for her to deliberate with her inner self about her strength. Yeah. She’ll get stronger, right? And with that, she unleashes her Charyeok, Lu Bu (of Three Kingdoms fame) to send Marin to his defeat. And just like how they all believe in Mori, he is back in time. He will be up against Nah Hanseong who wonders what happened to Peilong. Well, he’ll soon find out. Because Mori uses the same crushing moves as he did to beat down Peilong. Oh yeah. The tiger’s mad.

Episode 10
4 years ago in a local martial arts tournament, Ilpyo’s friend, Seungyeon lost to Taek. Worse, Taek purposely broke her leg bones to pieces. Despite she can recover in years, she can no longer do martial arts. Raging Ilpyo went to beat up Taek and could’ve killed him had the police not intervened. Then he heard about this tournament that grants wish to winners. Hence he enters it to heal her leg. Mujin talks to Team Seoul about Nox and their purpose is to revive a certain God. They view all other Gods as heresy and their aim is to eliminate them, including Charyeok users who rely on their power. This is one reason why they target Taejin. However he warns Mori not to do anything stupid like go rescuing grandpa because they’re all weak. But if they win this tournament, he’ll tell them some useful info. Team Seoul will fight Team South Jeolla in the semi-finals. First up is Daewi against Park Seungah. She pushes her limits but Ilpyo fears she might end up the same like Seungyeon. Stop worrying, boy. She does what she decides to do. And yeah, eventually Daewi wins. Seungyeon talks to Ilpyo about fighting for her sake. She doesn’t like it but what’s important that he needs to fight for his own reasons. So I suppose that’s the motivation he needs as he goes into the ring to face Mori. The fight starts as Mori takes a beating because Ilpyo blurts out all his obvious weaknesses. However it’s like Ilpyo is teaching him and Mori overcomes them to fight back. Flashback shows Taejin left Ilpyo a favour. If he ever meets his grandson, he hopes he could teach him something. Meanwhile Mujin confronts Sang Mandeok, supposedly the big boss of Nox. He knows Mujin’s intention of holding this tournament to awaken the Key and thinks it is futile because that awakening needs a higher trigger. His Nox men initiate a ritual to unleash a sword and God to strike it down on the tournament?! Mujin uses his power to defend but he is also helped by Seo Hanryang who is from The Six. With his merry men of drummers, Hanryang starts dancing in a drunk manner to their beat as he unleashes weapons after weapons to stop the sword’s drop. Eventually they prevent the disaster and Mori sending Ilpyo to his defeat. However Ilpyo’s stats start to turn negative and he turns into some fox creature? Oh, so this is the Key awakening?

Episode 11
Legend has it that a 9 tailed fox was strong enough that heaven appointed it as its guardian. After successfully protecting heaven from its enemies, heaven started to get worried about its power. And like any stupid authority, they order its execution. Of course the fox got mad over this betrayal and destroyed half of heaven! It descended to Earth as it goes into slumber after exhausting its power, vowing revenge on the Gods… So with this fox creature inside Ilpyo, he could be the Key. We see Mori taking him on put soon he realizes that Charyeok isn’t just borrowing powers from others, you’re ultimately fighting with your own mind and body. And that means they’re on the same level. This also means Mori is able to dispel whatever power Ilpyo throws at him like a piece of cake. In the end, sending Ilpyo flying straight up to heaven?! Woah! Maybe just an illusion but yeah, Mori wins it. Seeing how the fox lost, Mandeok needs to take more precaution and escapes. Ilpyo recuperates at the hospital but we can see he is fine. Mori visits him and both are unsure if they both used their Charyeok. Mori then tells him about his goal to find Taejin, the reason he needs to win this tournament and get that info to save him. Ilpyo puts his faith in him that he can do it. Mori hopes that once all this is over, they can fight each other. Meanwhile Jugok is turning into a monster. He is seeking revenge on Taek and close to losing his mind. His maid tries to stop him but Taek uses this distraction to impale them together. It gets worse since Jugok then absorbs her to turn into a monster. Yeah, he also absorbs other MIBs to become stronger. The hospital is in chaos so Ilpyo is forced to fight to prevent his teammates from getting devoured. In the end, Taek devours Jugok entirely. But this costs Ilpyo’s teammates to lose their limbs (since they were almost absorbed by Jugok). Ilpyo becomes traumatized and mad. Déjà vu all over again as he beats down Taek. Mandeok then realizes angels of death or something as they swarm over the city. With this, Mujin declares the tournament over.

Episode 12
Jugok is dead. His grandpa, Jaesan who is part of The Six vows revenge. Short flashback shows mom sold a young Taek to somebody. This old bugger wants Taek because of his abilities and considers him his successor of his power, wealth and everything. He brainwashed Taek to become a winner and not become like losers like everybody else. Yeah, eventually he devoured him. Thus Taek became twisted as he is today. He fights back Ilpyo and wants the Key because it will give him everything he wants. With his scary Charyeok, he beats down Ilpyo enough to make him cough out the Key. But it changes several hands until it falls to Mandeok. Not! Mori punches him to get whatever this sh*t is. Mujin is busy trying to use his barrier and stop God from destroying the city. So what the f*ck has America got to do with this?! Yeah, I think the American president wants to tell the whole world that they’re the guardians of this world and hence human technology is more powerful than those of the ancient gods. So they’re firing missiles into Seoul???!!! WTF, AMERICA???!!! Taek fights Mori but some weird power sh*t teleports them to another different dimension. Because I guess we need to see Daewi and Mira fight Taek for a while as Ilpyo gives his permission to let Mori to keep the Key. Not sure how he got it but he knows it must not fall into Taek’s hands. With Daewi and Mira down, Mori is mad and another epic fight begins. Mujin’s barrier has finally been broken. Feel God’s wrath! Thankfully in the nick of time, Jaesan teleports every single person in Seoul away. Turning the rockets into scrap and summoning a comet much bigger than God and rams into him!!! He’s going to take him down with him as vengeance. OMFG!!! Mandeok, you don’t mean to look so scared? Have you no faith in your own God?! I guess this somewhat interrupted Mori and Taek’s fight as they are also brought back to reality. Unfortunately Taek has got the Key now and devours it. He turns into an angel? A demon? A demonic angel?! Uh oh. All losers will die, says he…

Episode 13
Seriously, how do you fight against God? Oh heck, just go all out and fight him! Mori uses Bongchim’s pressure points lesson to power up himself to fight Taek. He is mad and wants him to apologize for hurting all his friends. When Daewi takes a blow meant for him, we see some snippets that are possibly Mori’s memories. Hmmm… Some leader of some supernatural clan. Oh wait. You mean Mori is actually the Monkey King???!!! Seiten Taisei what?! And you thought his sleeping eye mask was ridiculous. Turns out to be his Monkey King headgear! Using his flexible staff, he beats down Taek. For Ilpyo! For Seungah! For Daewi! For Mira! Eventually raining down lightning to roast him! And that power is no joke because unlike others who borrow from gods, Mori’s power is the real deal itself! But it’s not over. Taek’s hatred has consumed and turned him into a huge blob monster. Can Mori handle this himself? Nonsense. That’s what friends are for. Ilpyo, Daewi and Mira join in as they help Mori pull off some combo move to eventually defeat Taek. Taek is being devoured by his own monster and refuses Ilpyo’s help. No help accepted from trash. And that’s the end of him. All that’s left is the Key. Suddenly Mori is beaten up by Kim Ungnyeo. She is unhappy that Bora got lost in some cave and accidentally awakened her slumber. Who is she? As the strongest among The Six, she is the one who grants the winner wishes. Anything except bringing back the dead.

And so Mori is the winner, what will be his wish? At first he wants grandpa back but seeing the rest, he holds back. With others telling him to wish whatever he wants, Mori wishes for everyone to be healed as they were before and just like that, everyone’s healthy again! Yeah, how selfless. But this has Ungnyeo shrink into a chibi version! Kawaii? Ungnyeo also assures that Taejin is alive as she can feel his faint presence. Mori so relieved that he can now sleep. Yeah, he slept for 3 months! In that time, Mujin has shifted his attention to becoming Korea’s premier and Mandeok has already made his move by making a deal with some bigwig. Oh, Judge R the traitor?! Daewi and Mira update Mori about Ilpyo’s gang going around the world to look for the scattered fragments of the Key as said by Ungnyeo. She also explains the Key is a power bestowed by humans to break that taboo that allows them to kill gods. Damn, if gods feared the power of humans and imposed such restriction, then aren’t the gods not as powerful as humans?! Anyway, Mori’s memories are sealed in his homeland and if he wants them back he has to return there. Mori is glad because it means more training to get stronger. And he’ll rescue grandpa too. Speaking of him, he is being held in some secret Nox prison and he is the sacrifice to revive a new god? Taejin is confident that Mori will win. He will defeat everybody including him.

Fight Of Gods
Okay, from the way the direction of the plot is heading, it looks like having a sequel in this same name would feel a lot redundant. Uh huh. No The God Of High School II. The tournament’s done with. Time to move on to killing the gods. Yeah, The God Of Gods it shall be known now if a sequel is ever intended. It’s going to get way more chaotic from now on. With no more such tournaments, there isn’t going to be the grand prize of wishing for what you want anymore. What a bummer for those hoping to get another chance next year. Unfortunately reading the response and comments from the internet, viewers aren’t impressed with this series and I can see why nobody is asking for a second season. Damn it Mori, you should’ve trolled us all by wishing for another season! Phew. Thank goodness! We are saved! For now. Hopefully.

Essentially, you want to have an action series but to have no story whatsoever will be pointless and ultimately boring. Because, might as well watch real MMA sports or something. Also, it needs to be more exciting than mere young high school kids beating the crap out of each other in the ring. That is why as you discover they bring in elements of God and deities and supernatural powers, it might sound a lot ridiculous and over the top but like I said, it’s better than having no story at all and just see a bunch of kids trading blows in a tournament. Still, bringing in supernatural elements feels a bit weird since this isn’t your usual fantasy setting on the get-go. I know, many other series and shows also have modern day setting and lots of supernatural crap in it. Seeing this turn from tournament based into some weird cult who wants to destroy the world or at least the non-believers, damn this tournament feels like a long drawn out process and distraction just to find the Key.

It feels even weird to think that Korea organized a tournament for kids to fight even if it was just a disguise to find the Key. And to think that loads of people come to watch the fight, I don’t know if Koreans are blood thirsty people? And to think only delinquents who often get into fights would stand a chance but I guess fighting is more than just raw brute power and force. And also here I thought if someone who never graduated high school could be the loophole to enter this tournament, damn they had a character who beat me to this idea! Thank goodness it is just confined to high school kids. Because I don’t think I can stomach if there’s another tournament for other categories. Say, God of Corporate Organizations! F*ck yeah, I don’t know if I want to see employees of Samsung take on the bosses of Hyundai! And here comes the management of LG to join in the fight! Man… Thank goodness for trade and labour unions…

Unlike previous Korean based manhwa or webtoons, this one feels a bit different. Okay, maybe that is not the accurate thing I want to say. Because what I wanted to say at first is how the setting is totally in Seoul and not in Japan. Therefore there are Korean words everywhere for realism with Korean culture at the fore and all the characters have Korean names. Uh, Jin Mori might sound so typically Japanese but it’s a valid Korean name too. Yeah, because this is Japanese production, naturally everyone speaks Japanese and they look like Japanese anime characters. Just put Korean writing in it. This shouldn’t be an issue because what about other past anime titles that takes place outside of Japan? Especially those set in America or Europe or in an alternate world. I do see words written in English or some other European languages so this shouldn’t be an issue but somehow for some odd reason, I had this sort of issue for this series. Perhaps this is my first time seeing a setting that is so fully focused in Korea. So yeah. A few more Korean adaptations into anime and soon this will be a non-issue to me.

The characters are so-so. They’re pretty okay and nothing to shout about. Like the main trio. They’re just rather okay. Somehow I just don’t feel the oomph to really want to throw my support behind them. They have their past and issues but nothing like an episode to give them a bit of focus to solve their woes. At least for Daewi and Mira. There is some dynamism between the trio but as usual, so as not to bore us with them being plain, hence their strange and peculiar behaviours albeit it won’t ring any alarm bells because that is what is expected. Like Daewi who is often calm and composed but sometimes he can be on the same idiot as idiocy as Mori. Mira on the other hand sound like the rational voice of reasoning between the duo but often gets disappointed how idiotic the guys in her group can be. Too bad she doesn’t realize how this makes her look like one too. And so it’s true what they say about birds of the same feather… At least the duo are more sensible compared to Mori who is your typical protagonist who leaps before he thinks. The kind whose punches (more of kicks) do the talking. It can’t get any cliché because this guy loves fighting the strongest, wants to get stronger and it makes him sound like a retard. Hmm… Where have I heard characters like him before? And yeah, don’t get me started about his strong sense of justice… Now you see why I’m not really impressed with the characters on this level? And the final revelation he is a god himself? Oh… No wonder. Should have sensed something when he always acts close to a monkey…

If that is what I said about the main trio, how does the rest fare? Unfortunately, not too well either. There are quite a number of characters in this series and it is unfortunate that they don’t get much screen time unless they are essential to the plot. Like in the Seoul preliminaries there seem to be a few potential characters but they soon fizzle out once the preliminaries are over. Gamdo, Miseon, Seungchul and Manseok have fallen into obscurity when the tournament moves on to the finals. Yeah, blame the opener focusing a bit on them for making me think that they would be at least supporting characters. New characters come into the fray of the finals and again it is unfortunate that teams from other preliminaries aren’t featured unless they’re fighting Team Seoul or Team South Jeolla. Even so, with only a single cour and the direction of the story at this point, they don’t even matter since they’re no longer integral to the plot. So I guess in a way it is good that they saved us from knowing more characters that don’t matter.

Initially it is hard to tell if Mujin was a friend or foe (that kind of face makes it hard to tell) but I guess it is safe to say that he is at least fighting on the side of humanity. If Mandeok is the big boss of Nox, man, I don’t know if I should feel disappointed because he feels like a brat in a robe trying to act big. Maybe I haven’t seen the full potential of his power yet. Okay, calling forth God may be his greatest power but considering I have seen his Nox assassins and how powerful they are, I thought Mandeok would be even more formidable but his ‘showdown’ with Mujin feels like a farce. I mean, Mujin already has his hands (palm, rather) full trying to use his barrier and prevent God from destroying Seoul, and if Mandeok was serious in eliminating him, he would’ve done so. Oddly, he just stands there and mocks Mujin, hoping to see him lose energy and fail. Like, WTF?! His assassins feel more badass than that! So the more badass antagonist would be Taek because they really make him a character whom we love to hate for his cruel and unforgiving ways. Sure, he has got a past to make us understand that he isn’t just a one-dimensional villain but it gains little sympathy from us. Eventually, making us throw our (reluctant) support behind Mori because he is the kid with the greatest sense of justice to turn this antagonistic loser into a real loser. And also Mori is the real deal god unlike Taek who became a fake one. And a fake god shall perish!

Basically many other characters are just misses and some like Axley and Saturn, you wonder what happened to them. Some played out more for jokes like Judge Q’s running joke is that when he goes out of control and starts smashing things, Mujin will dock his pay. I don’t know how many months pay he is now behind… Some are just forgettable like other judges such as Judge O and Judge R. You see them around but they don’t seem to have any integral role yet at this point in the anime. On a trivial note, you wonder if there could be only 26 judges at one given time since they are only identified by their alphabet moniker. Wait till you see the numbers version and the Latin version! Oh yeah, more judges. Thank goodness they didn’t appear here. Only will confuse the hell out of us and they won’t even really matter at this stage.

The strongest point about this series is its fight scenes. Yes, if you are looking for some martial arts action and with some supernatural powers imbued, you won’t be disappointed. Although I won’t go so far as to say the fights are a masterpiece, they are still nicely choreographed and it’s quite thrilling to see some of the fights. Of course some fights last only a few seconds while the more important ones may take longer. They don’t usually lasts more than an episode so that’s reassuring that we get to move on. I know that sometimes the supernatural elements may make the fight exaggerated and ridiculous, but hey, if you really want 100% realism, go watch a real MMA match on your TV right now. So yeah, I can live with all those flashy power moves because it increases the entertainment value. Like as though I’m watching a fighting video game clip. Like Mori pulling off his triple consecutive kicks or whatever blue dragon moves in mid-air. Awesome!

And with some calling forth their Charyeok, I’m wondering whose Charyeok is Jesus Christ! Damn, it would’ve been f*cking epic and insulting to see Jesus taking on Buddha and Vishnu and Zeus and Jupiter and Odin and Amon. But that’ll be too hot and controversial at this age to fly so yeah. Whoever borrows Jesus’ power must be so f*cking epic, I swear… Uh huh, turning water into wine in the middle of the match should be just freaking epic! Hahaha! By this point, you should know that fighting is violence so if you are weak in seeing the sight of blood, be warned this anime has lots of blood and broken limbs. Yeah, thank the fictitious nanomachine technology so that the young hot blooded kids can go all out without worrying about losing their life. Yes, have faith in them because I don’t see any worried parents about their kids being all beaten up and badly bruised…

The art and animation are good. Not perfect but there is some quality in it. Because the fight scenes are quite fluid although there are some that feel a bit jagged but overall it is still good quality. After all, Crunchyroll sponsored this and it is no wonder you can see their blatant name being advertised all over the rings in the tournament. Character designs, some look boringly plain (Daewi and Mira) while others look pretty weird for example Mori himself has stars in his eyes and just to distinguish him from other characters, he needs some sort of headgear. Which headgear accessory? A sleeping eye mask for God’s sake! Like, WTF?! I guess goggles are too common, huh? Why does Bora have that perpetual puckering lips that make her look like she is always ready for a kiss? That kiss with Daewi was just a troll, huh? Some characters look the same like when Peilong first debuted, I thought he was Judge Q! The designs of the supernatural Charyeok monsters range from weird to grotesque. It’s like your Halloween nightmare fuel come true. I hope I won’t have nightmares after seeing Taek’s one. CGI is used for these monsters but at least they’re good enough not to be so jarring.

But the one art trademark that I am sure that many of us would start to notice is that every damn characters’ nose has this red blush! At first I was like, WTF?! Are they drunk or something? Did somebody punch their nose or something? Not one or two or ten of them but all of them! Every character has it. It makes it look weird because if you don’t get used to it, you’ll always be staring at it all the time. And for those who are slightly more observant (like yours truly, oh yeah I’m so proud), all the characters have their top ear lobes also have this red blemish. Really, noting this art style is really weird but this is how it looks like in the original webtoon. This anime is done by Mappa who did Kakegurui, Shingeki No Bahamut, Zankyou No Terror, Banana Fish and Teekyuu.

Voice acting is rather okay. I recognized a few seiyuus here like Kenjiro Tsuda as Taek, Tomokazu Sugita as Manseok, Romi Paku as Ungnyeo, Yuko Kaida as Miseon, Nobuyuki Hiyama as Drake and Yuu Kobayashi as one of those sexy nurses for the tournament. And to think they cast Rie Kugimiya as Mira’s cousin and Bora, only amateurs will not recognize and catch that distinctive tsundere specialist! Oh wait. Did they do the same for Shinichiro Miki because Peilong and Seongjin sound suspiciously the same… The rest of the casts are Tatsumaru Tachibana as Mori, Kentarou Kumagai as Daewi (Theo in Grancrest Senki), Ayaka Ohashi as Mira (Saaya in BanG Dream), Daisuke Namikawa as Mujin (Waver in Fate series), Kouki Uchiyama as Ilpyo (Shigaraki in Boku No Hero Academia), Yuuma Uchida as Mandeok (Ash in Banana Fish), Kazuhiro Yamaji as Taejin (Bang in One Punch Man), Kenji Hamada as Judge Q (Jouji in Paradise Kiss), Asami Tano as Judge P (Saki in Zombie Land Saga) and Tomokazu Seki as Sim (Gilgamesh in Fate series).

If you love loud dubstep techno music, then the opener, Contradiction featuring Tyler Carter by KSUKE is going to be right up your alley. It feels so at home with the action pacing of the series. Especially the various BGM music that fits the fight scenes like a glove. Yeah, sometimes it feels they’re written for a video game. So don’t turn on your volume too loud if you don’t want your audio to explode! Heh. Just kidding. But you get what I mean. There are some slower pieces too but the dramatic techno wants stand out more. The ending theme is Win by CIX. Sounds like a K-pop group singing a slow R&B. Not bad but not my cup of tea.

Overall, this show isn’t that bad but because it was overhyped and didn’t quite live up to expectations as Tower Of God, many I read were really disappointed and calling this mediocre crap a total garbage. I agree if they’re talking about the story and characters that are so clichéd but at least I am entertained with the fight scenes. So if you really want to watch this, just stay for the mind blowing and over the top flashy exaggerated action sequences and nothing more. Everything else like the story and characters feel like overdone icing and decorations of distractions simply added just to justify the fight scenes. Nothing more. Come to think of it, having high school kids fight each other and the winner gets their wish exacted is a wrong way to teach this kids about hard work and perseverance. Yeah, not everything can be solved by your fists or kicks. What happened to the good ol’ days when finding and rubbing a genie lamp was the simplest wish granting device?

Uzaki-chan Wa Asobitai

December 13, 2020

Remember some time ago we had a girl who love to play pranks and tease a guy? Yeah. I’m sure we all had fun loving all those harmless pranks and the likes. But something in that series feels lacking. A lot lacking. Make that double barrels of loaded lacking. Oh right. Boobs! Uh huh. Uzaki-chan Wa Asobitai isn’t exactly Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san v2 and although we have this college girl who decides to hang out with her college senpai so he doesn’t have to be alone, and by that she means poking fun and teasing him lots and lots and lots and lots. Now we can enjoy all the pranks and teasing all over again. But with boobs. Ah, glorious bewbs FTW! Ahem. Yeah, those humongous racks really teased us well, huh?

Episode 1
Hana Uzaki is a first year in college. She is glad to go to the same college as her senpai, Shinichi Sakurai. However for the entire year, she notices Sakurai hanging out alone by himself. Something not right. So come the next year, she decides to go hang out with him. Naturally he doesn’t want her to but with Uzaki screaming in public how he plays with her and dumps her when it’s all too convenient, you bet Sakurai is going to let her join him or else the public will get the wrong idea on their relationship. So the first place they hang out is the cinema. She starts laughing and teasing the shows he watch are for singles. Then he pinches her nose to shut her up. After the movie, they head to the electronics store. Time to show what’s in store for Uzaki fanservice because as she sits on the massage chair, she’s making all those ambiguous moaning voices! Damn, she could’ve been so good if this was another genre! Wink, wink! Next they try the VR. Uzaki swinging the console around (because VR zombies attack!) until she accidentally smacks Sakurai’s face. Then Sakurai tries it himself. Scary shark fest! So much so he accidentally gropes Uzaki’s boobs. Nope, not jellyfish or octopus… Then they hit the batting centre. Sakurai sucks and misses all the pitches. When Uzaki tries to show her stuffs, she goes all out and twists her back. Did I just hear her back pop?! Damn, she blames this pain on him because she tied to copy him?! Rather than going to the doctor, she goes to eat dinner with him. I guess she’s okay, looking at how she swallowed all the fried chicken. Yeah, even Sakurai’s portion! This is what you get when you keep complaining instead of keeping your own eyes on your own food! Even when they are given free dumplings, Uzaki sweeps them all! Too slow, senpai! Oh yeah. What a fun day. Next day, Uzaki wants to continue hanging out with him and this time he allows it. I guess it’s not that bad, right? He doesn’t have to be alone again. Until Uzaki says out loud the thing they did yesterday because her back still hurts! Oh dear. Public going to get the wrong idea…

Episode 2
Sakurai works part time at a coffee café and Master is teaching him how to make fine coffee. Until Uzaki drops in and says hi. Oh that scream… Today’s coffee is going to taste bad… He tries to kick her out but since she’s a customer… Master is in shock when he gets it wrong thinking she is an elementary kid! With those boobs?! Are you kidding me?! Yeah, I guess nobody could guess she’s a college girl. Uzaki demands his best service so I guess Sakurai has to drop his evil sarcasm to serve her. Even so, she starts laughing and mocking him because he’s so out of character! That’s it! He kicks her out. All the while, Master can’t stop laughing and looks like he is looking forward to see more banter between them. Wow, life must be so boring for this old guy. Next day, Uzaki is disgusted seeing Sakurai trying to pet a stray cat. He fails and after Uzaki manages to pet it, it runs away. Woah, Sakurai depressed because he didn’t manage to pet it? So he loves animals but can’t keep them but his place doesn’t allow it. Uzaki decides to catch it for him. Unfortunately she got stuck in the bushes. Fanservice time. Yeah, her butt and pantsu are showing so WTF Sakurai has to smack her ass just to cover it?! Now it gets weirder. Can’t pull her out too fast because her shirt might come off. So as he tries to do so slowly, you bet that when other girls pass by and see this, they’re going to get the wrong idea over this unholy act. Even more so when Uzaki is saying something about pulling out!!! In the end, Uzaki got out but it’s one of those embarrassing moments for Sakurai that he wished he is dead. In college, Uzaki is in total shock that Sakurai is not eating alone and with a friend! Can’t wrap her head around it, huh? So she bugs him via texting to see if it’s okay. Unfortunately this means her ramen is all soggy now. Boys and girls, this is why it is bad manners to play with your phone during meal times. Uzaki visits the café again and this time she is bugging Sakurai to help her finish her report. Of course he won’t but since there are no customers now, Master allows it. Of course he wants to see more of their comedy. So as she does her report under his watchful eye, she asks if she can come to his house. Instant rejection. It seems she wants to sleep at his place since it is closer to college. Embarrassed guy rejects this and he can’t say those boobs are the reason for rejection. Dense Uzaki continues to reason they can play video games all night long but this only blows Sakurai’s top. And the winner today is Master as he gets to enjoy yet another banter. Damn, this guy values Sakurai so much that he is considering giving him a raise to make him stay! What is life without such fun!

Episode 3
Ami Asai who is Master’s daughter, observes Sakurai at work. You bet she is fantasizing and drooling over him because he is her type. But then Uzaki comes in… Who this girl? Those Master know her? Damn, he’s doing high 5 with her! Ami continues to observe them and it seems they look like very good friends. Hmm… Maybe too good to be good friends. Ami goes to talk to her and finds out Uzaki is just hanging out with Sakurai because he is a loner and wants to avoid him doing gloomy loner stuffs. Now that she has an idea about them, Master knows she too loves watching them and hence it is best for them to just sit back and enjoy the show. Like this one coming up because the idiots bump into each other and spill cold water all over. Not even sure how Uzaki ended up sitting on top of Sakurai. Great show, huh? Yeah, Ami thinks she should take more shifts with Sakurai. But thanks to this incident, Sakurai is sick. But Uzaki not? Oh well, you know what they say about sickness and idiots… And you bet Uzaki is going to come over to visit him. Because he is really weak, Uzaki nurses him and cooks him a nice porridge. Then she teases him by stripping him naked just to clean his sweat. Ironically, Sakurai even more tired after this. At the end of the day, Sakurai is grateful to her. But too bad she won’t go home and keeps playing video games and being noisy. Not going back until she wins! Once Sakurai is well, everyone celebrates his recovery with Korean BBQ. Of course Master and Ami want to know the details of what happened. Sakurai brushes off their relationship is that sort of kind. Then it gets heavy when Sakurai worries if Uzaki is seen too often coming to his place, it might cause trouble for her since she is a girl. So I guess the best for now is just to let them be. Yeah, continue observing. Uzaki is not happy when she realizes Sakurai calls Ami by her first name. This is of course to avoid confusion with her father but Uzaki still not amused and eats all his meat! Next day, Uzaki tries to hypnotize Sakurai into calling her first name! Since she took care of him, he plays along. Yeah, she wants him to repeat several times. They look like a dumb couple, huh? She goes overboard thinking she can get him to buy stuffs but that’s it for him. He knocks her head and sorry to disappoint he was just pretending. Sakurai explains his uncomfortableness calling girls by their first name. Ami’s too but he can’t help it because of work. Uzaki understands and will not force it upon him. Sakurai doesn’t believe it but Uzaki gets easily hypnotized! Where’s the undo button?!

Episode 4
Since the café will be off during the Golden Week, I guess Sakurai will be home playing video games. Straight for 72 hours?! Until Uzaki shows up… Oh well. Time to give this junior some love. She suggests hanging out in town while playing this crappy Pokemon Go knockoff. Uzaki got lots of cats? Sakurai has gorillas? What sh*t is this?! Because of playing too much games, Sakurai’s eyes hurt so Uzaki suggests heading to the glasses store. Ami is also there browsing so this is cue for the ladies to make fun of Sakurai as they put funny glasses on him and laugh. Uzaki definitely enjoying herself a lot since she’s laughing her ass off so hard. Finally Uzaki puts on cute decent glasses herself. Sakurai mocks her. Argument starts. This is normalcy. Then on the train, slowly it gets crowded until some gorilla guy really compacts it all. Yeah, I wonder where those boobs go in such crammed places! Since Sakurai is conscious about those boobs, he tries to distract himself by mediating and thinking of nothing. Too bad this heightens his other senses so he faints while standing. This means on their stop, Uzaki gets off while Sakurai gets left behind. When he finally comes to his senses. He is unsure his whereabouts. But hey, he’s got this rare dog Pokemon thingy. Not sure how he got back but he is relating his ordeal to Master and he is trying hard not to laugh! Taking Ami’s advice to follow up on Uzaki, why is this girl depressed now? She realizes there is no more holidays this month! Sakurai tries to cheer her up by inviting her to somewhere. To her utmost shock, is this her senpai?! Did hell freeze over?! He never invites her anywhere! Now he does, okay, she’ll go anywhere! Just anywhere without trains, okay? That’s traumatizing… But when she learns about Ami asking him to follow up, she starts to pout. On a rainy day, looks like Uzaki has to stop by Sakurai’s place after doing errands. Cheeky girl is soaked so she teases him to come bath with her. You know the reaction. They have home cooked lunch and played some crappy Minecraft knockoff. Such fun. When the rain clears at night, Sakurai accompanies her to the train station. But looks like she forgot her pass. Hang out at his place round 2? I hope this doesn’t mean she’s staying for the night.

Episode 5
Sakurai tries to save a cat from the ledge of a beam. But the cat being a dick gives him a slip and he falls! OMG! Sakurai dead?! Thank goodness it’s just a dream. But he was sleeping in the middle of class? You bet Uzaki saw this and here comes the endless teasing. Furthermore, the lecture is about dreams. More Uzaki teasing even after class so much so she slips down the stairs. Luckily Sakurai catches her. Payback time. He psychos her about some sort of phobia falling down stairs and she starts believing it! Itsuhito Sakaki uses Sakurai as an excuse so he doesn’t have to go drinking with those cute girls. I hope he isn’t gay. Sakaki also thinks Sakurai’s life is damn boring and wants him to enjoy it. Then here comes Uzaki. She is shocked that Sakurai has a friend! And not an imaginary friend! Wow. She looks so happy. Seeing them interact, Sakaki gets motivated trying to hook them up now. On another day, Sakaki joins in and asks the duo if they’ve already done it. Of course Sakurai denies but Uzaki seems to be in despair that he might have forgotten about that. ABOUT WHAT?! What sexual harassment?! After the duo left, Ami then confronts Sakaki. It seems she is not too happy he is trying to meddle too much in Sakurai-Uzaki life. Sakaki believes that their goal is the same so they should cooperate to get them together. However Ami objects because the best is to simply observe from afar. Meanwhile Sakurai and Uzaki are outside. She offers him her choco mint but apparently after he comments it tastes like toothpaste, Uzaki gets offended. OMG. She’s really offended! Screaming and lecturing atop her lungs about the bias and prejudice choco mint lovers faced as well as its gradual acceptance in public over the years. Yeah, such a beautiful poetry about her love for the delicious choco mint. So much so all those around her start clapping! So beautiful! Sakurai has to be careful about saying the wrong thing because he isn’t willing to put up with her being offended again. So looks like his dislike for choco mint stems from his childhood trauma. That was then. Now is now. Care to try? She offers him but he realizes this might look like an indirect kiss. So as not to offend her, he takes a bite. Quite okay. After Uzaki eats the last choco mint, only then she realizes about the indirect kiss and starts feeling embarrassed. Awkward. Meanwhile Ami and Sakaki continue to argue about the meddling or observation… So Ami says she’ll live a thousand years if it takes them that long to get together, huh?

Episode 6
Master hires Uzaki to work part time. You bet this is going to piss Sakurai off. Besides, Uzaki doesn’t bat an eyelid to admit she’s here to see his tormented face! Also, she needs some extra cash since summer is around the corner. So as Sakurai shows her the ropes, evidently everybody gangs up just to piss him off. Wow. So much fun. Learning that Sakurai’s entire summer is just staying in and playing video games, Uzaki suggests going to the beach. And that is how our young ones arrive here. Master had to sit this out because he has thrown his back. And behold this sight! Uzaki in bikini. Oh yeah. No wonder Ami got so scared of those ‘weapons’. Since Sakurai is going off himself and treating the ocean like a swimming pool, Ami warns him this means leaving Uzaki alone and having guys hit on her. Don’t want that, do you? And also something to compliment about her swimsuit. Not Ami, but Uzaki, duh! He does so but gets pushed away. But the look on Uzaki’s face, she’s definitely happy. Then they split the watermelon with Sakurai blindfolded. Of course Uzaki misleads him with video game direction inputs. And then he slips and somehow has his hand on her boobs! WTF he thinks this is jellyfish?! Then why keep touching?! Yeah, he got the real ‘melons’ alright. So when he takes off his blindfold, Uzaki managed to swap it with the real one. This guy can’t even tell how hard the real melon is! BAKA! That night, everyone will be staying at Sakaki’s villa. Yes, he is a rich kid. Those poor college kids are fascinated by all the amenities. Even if they’re just normal. Then as they go play kimodameshi, Sakurai admits outright he is afraid of horror and scary things and wants out. While being honest is a good thing, looks like Uzaki is whipping up a devilish aura to get back at him. So first thing, she steals his handphone (only source of light!) and runs away! Who’s chasing who now? And you thought it would be the brave guy protecting the scared lady, huh? In the end, Sakurai got so scared and froze up, I guess they have to call it quits. So back at the villa, everyone is so tired that they fall asleep right away. Except for Uzaki. She thought of teasing Sakurai but he starts hugging her. Does he hug this tight in his sleep? Oh well. Might as well let him sleep in her bosoms since she scared him tired. Next morning, Uzaki feels a bit awkward and tells him to get a dakimakura. Of course Sakurai is clueless. Ami and Sakaki think they really missed something last night.

Episode 7
Suddenly Sakurai calls Uzaki and wants to go out with her. Say what?! As she meets up with him, turns out that he is too afraid to enter the cat café alone and needs her company. Disappointed? Get ready for those kicking combos… Inside, Sakurai is having fun petting the cats. Uzaki tries to remind him about her upcoming birthday but he isn’t listening. Since his legs are numb, Uzaki takes this chance to get back at him by kicking them. He can’t scream or he’ll scare the cats! Eventually the staff had to kick them out because no sick S&M play allowed at cat café! Not sure if they’re banned for life… After reminding him about her birthday, Sakurai is at a loss so he talks to Master and Ami about it. You bet they’re going to have fun with this. Sakurai comes up with some ideas but doesn’t think Uzaki will like them. On the contrary, the duo think the opposite. Anything he gives, she’ll like. Ami advises to go with his guts. As Sakurai is about to shop for a present, he gets a call from Uzaki asking she wants to go out with him. Uh oh. Sounds familiar. As he meets up with her, turns out she wants him to accompany her into this bar. Now she’s 20 and is going to drink. Yup, he is going to treat her. So lots of fooling around, eating and drinking. They stayed up so late that as they walk home drunk, they realize no train service is running and Sakurai is out of money. There’s the ATM but the taxi fare is going to kill him. As much as he hates it, he is forced to take Uzaki to stay at his place. Uzaki still wants to drink and play games but Sakurai ignores her and goes to sleep. Uzaki plays a prank, thinking she can wake him up with a kiss. Immediately he wakes up to defend himself. I guess the teasing tires them out. Next morning, Uzaki has a hangover. First hangover, so it’s bad. Yeah, she’s vomiting into the toilet bowl. Sakurai can lecture her now as she rests up in bed. Yeah, Uzaki now all a good girl being quiet. At least she thanks him for last night’s outing. It was a blast. And then she vomits again… Oh well, the futon’s wasted.

Episode 8
From last episode’s events, Uzaki feels terribly bad and she’s trying to compensate for his futon. Thing is, she is being ambiguous with her words and she’s doing this apology right in public. You bet the public is going to get the wrong idea this is some sort of extortion case! Due to this pressure, Sakurai also slips up and phrases wrongly and further has the public think he is some scumbag. Yeah, don’t worry, it was your first time so the futon was bound to get dirty! You dug your own grave, dude. Back at the café, the nosy father and daughter want to know all the details but seeing Sakurai being depressed and relating what has happened, although Sakurai didn’t specify about the futon incident, I guess the suspense is killing them. Hence Ami gives him a ticket to go see fireworks at the festival. Just STFU and take Uzaki with you! So Sakurai meets up with Uzaki there. Since she is still in that sullen mood, he starts praising her everything. In no time, Uzaki is back to normal! MOAR PRAISE! Well, at least she’s simple. But too many compliments make Uzaki embarrassed? Unintentionally she whacks him out cold! Oh sh*t! So we have a flashback when they were in high school. Uzaki had trouble in her swimming class but Sakurai was there to help her. Even with his help, she still struggles and it’s understandable her morale was low. But Sakurai was always there to somehow cheer her up. Sakurai wakes up and realizes he is sleeping on Uzaki’s lap. Boobs on top. Damn, I hope this isn’t claustrophobic. Sakurai sees Uzaki’s face and knows this is that sad look. So he talks about the things they’ve done ever since they met in college. Yeah, it was fun. He hopes they can go somewhere together for the next summer break. Okay. Wherever you go, senpai. Perfected with the nice timing of the awesome fireworks. Though, Sakurai can’t see a thing… Yeah, those boobs blocking the view may not be such a bad thing after all.

Episode 9
Since Uzaki won’t take back the excess money for the futon, Sakurai is going to her home personally to give it back to her mom, Tsuki. Mom is of course fearful of him because at first impressions, he looks quite the ruffian. After hearing him out, she then lectures her daughter because you know what it means for a girl to stay over at a man’s place, right?! But seeing them quarrelling, Tsuki is somewhat assured that they are close and get along with each other. However she starts to fear once more when Sakurai’s gaze are all over her boobs! He is actually looking at the cat on her lap. Do you want to pet it?! The boobs?! WHAT DO YOU THINK?! With ambiguous words from Uzaki herself, Tsuki really thinks he is going for them! Of course today’s not the day so he leaves so as not to overstay his welcome. Tsuki feels her heart beating fast?! Oh dear. The next time she visits Uzaki working at the café, she too didn’t think Sakurai works here. Master and Ami sing lots of praises about Uzaki and Sakurai as well. Because of the type of customers they draw in, this has Tsuki asking them if Sakurai is into older women! Though they dismiss it, at the back of their minds they know that trouble is brewing. As Tsuki is going to tell her daughter she is leaving, she overhears their ambiguous conversation in the storeroom. It’s about growing coffee beans but you bet Tsuki is going to really start thinking Sakurai is into older women! Did she just orgasm?! On another day when Uzaki kicks Sakurai’s ass in a video game, because of his comment that she is not like he mom who is quiet and nice, this makes Uzaki sulks as she spies on mom’s behaviour! Yeah, Tsuki even thinks her daughter is targeting her! Hence Uzaki is now all prim and proper! OMFG! So different! And we all know who to blame, right? Because Uzaki is so nice and polite, this is actually freaking out and traumatizing Sakurai! Bring back the old crude Uzaki please! OMG! Pleasant Uzaki is kinda creepy if you think about it… So after he apologizes, Uzaki is back to normal with that smug look. But since Sakurai is also back to his same attitude, the duo start their usual arguing. So much so a little girl had to tell them off not to fight. Here. Have this lottery ticket to make up. And what do you know? They win the grand prize trip to Tottori! Feast your eyes on Detective Conan themes.

Episode 10
Looks like Ami and Sakaki are also here to join them! What a coincidence! They’ve got a rental car to boot to help with their sightseeing. Of course they have an ulterior motive and by this time we already well know what it is. Yeah, got to this till the very end! First stop, some sand dunes attraction. Uzaki and Sakurai race to the beach. The loser treats the other. While Uzaki makes a head start with a surfboard, I guess it won’t do much once the curve is flattened. Yeah, Sakurai wins. Next up is a manga museum since Tottori is the birthplace of many mangaka. Then a site where it is famous for the White Hare of Inaba tale. Uzaki tricks Sakurai into buying a rabbit cake for her. Then she tries to eat his portion. She only realizes too late this looks like an indirect kiss. Next, they take their luck reading at the Hakuto shrine. Uzaki boasts her better luck than his. It then suddenly occurs to them that this place is filled with couples. Sakaki and Ami revealing their true nature as they plan to get them go further as a couple. After all, the things they have been doing, they look like a couple in the eyes of others. Of course the duo aren’t impressed but they feel awkward when they have to ride up the ski lift together. They think they can beat this by just enjoying what they came to enjoy in the first place. Only, more dumb couples in love all over the place. The quartet then rest in their rooms. Sakaki playing a wall slam prank on Sakurai when Uzaki comes in and sees this. Take a picture quick! As they take the sauna, Uzaki slips on Sakurai. Their ambiguous words has the tour operator misinterpret everything. More sightseeing like the kajika frog, the streets with all sorts of youkai statues and finally they arrive at the Shigeru Mizuki Museum. Will this be it?

Episode 11
Uzaki brings a huge frog cushion to Sakurai’s place. Apparently she is blaming him he doesn’t take care of his guests so with her always playing video games at his place and having to sit on his hard floor, you bet it’s his fault! Anyway, he wants her to also clean up all the stuffs she left behind. Looks like she doesn’t need them all in the first place. So his place is also a dumpster? When Master thinks of having Sakurai try to cook, looks like it came out charcoal! No wonder Uzaki can’t stop laughing. And hence he is at her house to do some training. Mind all the sexual innuendoes of them trying to knead the udon dough. Tsuki thought of leaving the young ones together but when she later returns, she hears her daughter trying to motivate Sakurai to pimp her?! You bet they’re talking about the cats. Poor mom. She’s so confused that she’s not prepared for all this and thought of going in to straighten them out. Then it turns out they’re all just eating the udon. Is she relieved or disappointed? Sakurai and Uzaki are out rock climbing. Sakurai is a natural while Uzaki struggles. Yeah, it makes Uzaki mad she can’t poke fun at him! Later when Sakurai is doing solo karaoke, Uzaki and Ami is caught peeping on him! Now he is sulking and won’t sing. So I guess to ‘apologize’ and get his motivation back up to sing, they cosplay in Chinese qipao. Then they flank him. Too close to comfort for Sakurai and what’s this? Uzaki a bit jealous? Since Sakurai is confused, Ami ups the prank with her in a police dress and Uzaki in sexy bunny costume. Flaunt those boobs, baby! Ami tricks Sakurai into making him blurt out he prefers Uzaki’s outfit. Now he wants to die in embarrassment. But the girls carry on having their karaoke fun. Next day, it is raining heavily. Uzaki stands outside Sakurai’s place. With tears streaming down her eyes, she says she can’t hang out with him anymore. SAY WHAT?! You serious?! THIS NOT A JOKE???!!! YOU TROLLING US???!!!

Episode 12
Uzaki has did something unforgiveable. Oh sh*t… Sakurai calms her down and promises to do anything to help her. In an instant, her face changes that of a sly look. Anything, he says? Apparently Uzaki forgot to do her summer assignment and got scolded by mom. So Sakurai will help her, right? Shut the door! Do it yourself! Phew. And just like that the non-existent threat passed… When Master accidentally sprained his back, Sakurai sends him to the clinic so the ladies close up. Ami takes this chance to ask how Uzaki about them in high school. She tells how her friend invited her to join the swimming club. The first time she met Sakurai, he was of course scary but once you get to know him, he is quite a nice person. Ami then realizes Uzaki isn’t talking in her usual accent. Does she do that only when Sakurai is around? This makes Uzaki very embarrassed as she takes her leave. Ami is now very interested to know more. On another day, Uzaki seeks Ami and Sakaki’s advice because she wants to see Sakurai’s drunk face! Not because she wants to do sneaky things while he is out but rather because Sakurai has seen her at this state too many times, she wants to get back at him. Such simpleton. Uzaki forbids Ami to get involved considering how it turned out the last time (that karaoke moment). Uzaki hangs out at Sakurai’s place and everything seems to go according as plan as Sakaki explained. Once Sakurai is drunk and almost passing out, Uzaki is now going to get cheeky. She asks his honest opinion of her. He likes her. Oh sh*t. Uzaki is so shocked that she starts drinking and passing out too! She didn’t get to hear Sakurai finish his sentence that he likes her cooking. Oh well… Sakaki comes by and sees this ‘mess’ so he puts them to bed in the same futon. Sweet dreams.

Next morning, they wake up seeing each other lying next to each other. I guess they’re still having a hangover and still in shock, that’s why no reaction. They talk to Master and Ami as they can’t remember a thing. So as they slowly recall, when they mention about waking up together, father and daughter close the shop just to hear them out more! They even try to push and make it sound like they’ve done something! Well, if they can’t remember, what can you do? Ami is so frustrated that she promises to be there the next time it happens! So no more playing the bystander? Uzaki thinks they can do it again tomorrow but Sakurai reminds her tomorrow is when their class resumes. Summer break’s over. Damn, she’s putting on a face like as though it’s the end of the world! Can she hibernate till winter break? Why not just quit college?! Anyway, Uzaki manages to drag herself college and meet Sakurai. She still feels whiny that she has to go study. She laments summer should last longer so they could hang out forever. That is when Sakurai says it doesn’t have to be just summer. They can hang out together whenever they want as they’ll always be together. This causes Uzaki to blush. Sakurai realizes too late the ambiguity of his words as he tries to correct what he means. Uzaki has the last laugh as she teases him about what he thought of her thoughts. With that smirk and grinning face, she takes this as a sign he wants her company so badly. Don’t worry pal, she’ll always hang out with you from now on!

Two’s A Crowd…
Well, if you still feel that this series isn’t long enough and that you want to hang out more with Uzaki, be glad to know that there is going to be another season! Hooray! More boobs goodness. Oops. I mean, more fun Uzaki company! Hooray! Now our summer will never end! We can hang out, play, eat, drink, watch movies, play games, have all the fun we want without any care in the world! As long as we’re with Uzaki, we’re alright! Am I right?! But too bad we now have to wait a few more seasons (or years) before we get to hang out again. Bummer. Ah well. I guess it is back to the much dreaded reality. Oh boy. Uzaki was sure a great way to escape reality. Heh.

All of the episodes feel like standalone fillers, giving each skit the feel that they aren’t necessarily related to each other. Because many of them feel so random and about the same. Uzaki trying to tease Sakurai and have fun because it is better to see him get pissed off than being a gloom lord. The lesser of 2 evils, I guess. But unlike in Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san whereby the titular character 99.9% always wins, this is not the case here for Uzaki. Not every prank or teasing is successful. She wins some and she loses some. Hence the odds between Uzaki and Sakurai are pretty much even and it could be anyone’s game. Therefore the unpredictability of who gets the better of the other providing some much fun and comic relief instead of always expecting only a certain someone to always come up tops in the end. Though, usually Uzaki often has the upper hand.

The main pull of watching this series is the dynamism between Uzaki and Sakurai interacting with each other. Depending on your stance, it would either be a delight or a bore to see them taking jabs at each other for the entire season. As long as they make me smile and laugh, I’m okay with it. It’s hard for me to classify if they are both the same peas in the same pod or totally strange bedfellows. One thing I know though, they’re definitely for each other. That’s why all of us are like Ami and the rest, eagerly sitting back and watch them play out their shenanigans because it’s just so much fun watching them do so. Will they or will they not? The biggest question is of course when the pranks will turn them into lovebirds. There are the signs but my guts tell me not so soon yet but you’ll never know. Because of Uzaki being the crude girl she is, sometimes she takes her pranks too far just to have fun and see Sakurai’s reaction that she doesn’t realize until it is too late that those pranks and teasing make them look like lovebirds. And then when she does, it gets awkward and we get to relish seeing Uzaki in her blushing form. Is this the best or what?

And yeah, Sakurai having to play the straight man most of the time due to certain ambiguous situations and choice of words, I hope he doesn’t turn traumatic in the future. The dynamism between the duo is as such that they have a better chance of becoming doing natural manzai comedy together. Such fun. As hinted, Uzaki’s crude manner of speaking in an accent may be to mask her true feelings for her senpai. Since Sakurai is somewhat a bit crude too, so speaking in this manner perhaps a sign that they are on the same level? And imagine if Uzaki starts talking all feminine. Weird, right? Can’t imagine that kind of Uzaki.

And it goes without saying that the other main pull of attracting us to watch this series is because of Uzaki’s freaking huge knockers. Like yours truly, it is probably the main motivating factor on why we check this out in the first place. So much so that I think they literally ‘advertise’ those enormous jugs as you can see Uzaki wearing her t-shirt that blatantly says ‘sugoi dekai’ which translates to mean ‘extremely huge’. Is this where her growth went instead of her stature?! I hope not but I can’t help think of this possibility! I’m sure there are doujin Uzaki porn somewhere out there in the deep dark web… Well, if you think about it, when you have a title that literally means Uzaki wants to come play, without context it looks more like a shady hentai title! Or maybe sugoi dekai also refers to the big heart she has in keeping Sakurai company… Nah!

Considering the massive tits she has, it goes without saying that there are some fanservice elements here. However after the initial episodes of blatant fanservice (the one whereby Uzaki got stuck in the bush and her pantsu was obviously showing), then it started to tone down. If I’m not mistaken, the fanservice then ‘disappeared’ for a while. At least, it wasn’t as blatant as the stuck-in-the-bush one. I was expecting this sort of fanservice comedy for later episodes but I suppose they don’t want to dilute the series’ worth. We’ve already got those sugoi dekai pair each time Uzaki appears on screen, what more do you want? Don’t be too greedy. Of course the beach episode and the karaoke cosplay to display her mammoth jugs only come later.

I wonder if Uzaki’s name is taken after the word ‘uzai’, meaning annoyance or noisy. Because that is basically her gist of her character. Contrary to Sakurai’s name, I guess his gloomy face doesn’t represent the cherry blossom very well. I suppose this is to say that never judge a book by its cover. Sakurai is one of those guys who might be born with such a scary face and those who don’t know him well enough will be turned off. After all, despite having such looks, he has a soft side to it and that he likes cats. Too bad the cats give him the same eluding treatment too. Ah well, cats being cats so that’s somewhat expected.

As for the other characters, they’re not really anything much because of them just being bystanders and trying to enjoy watching the interaction between the best entertainers in their lives. Sometimes it is tempting to get involved and want to do something more to add spice to it all but watching such in their natural form is always the best. Because then nobody can blame you for interfering. All that doing is by your own accord! Still, I find it strange that Ami and her father, whenever they start enjoying watching the show, they start digging into their imaginary rice bowl complete with their imaginary chopsticks. Like, WTF?! Oh well, to each his/her own when they enjoy the things they love. I think Sakaki is mainly a redundant character. Except when the plot calls for someone who is rich and can provide them easy lodging or transport, he is your reason why our characters get to go places. And yeah, also to prove that Sakurai isn’t a loner Uzaki thinks he is but even so, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t know it Tsuki is turning into MILF material. But due to getting wrong ideas about Sakurai, what’s a lonely single mother gonna turn into? Especially when she often misinterprets her daughter trying to pimp her up. Better lay off those afternoon dramas for a while.

One of the weirdest mind boggling characters in this series is that cartoonish faced cat (what’s that its name is called Kusocat or something?!). I’m not sure if it is the series’ mascot but each time it randomly pops up, it has this flabbergasted and gobsmacked look on its face. Usually after Uzaki and Sakurai do something considered to be unbelievable, then they turn the scene to show us this cat’s incredulous looks. I don’t think it is their guardian angel but since this cat is literally everywhere, it’s like guardian angel cat can’t believe what it is seeing. Believe me, there are more ludicrous stuffs out there than seeing these 2 interact.

Art and animation are okay. Typical standard Japanese anime. Just want to point out that my minor complaint is that Uzaki looks so tomboyish that it is as though it is a trade off with her boobs. Personally, Uzaki looks more like a young kid than a girl so that’s the put off for me. Yeah, I know. Had she been more feminine, she would’ve been another one of those fapping materials. Honestly, she looks more feminine in her high school days with longer hair than her college days. I suppose it is to match her crude personality. And like I theorized, to hide her true feminine feelings since Uzaki all in all is still a girl, you know. Of course with her petite stature and whopping breasts, coupled in with her androgynous looks, she looks very much unbalanced. Is it me or when she starts doing her trademark smirk, she looks a bit like an alien?! While the backgrounds are also pretty standard, I can’t help that the Tottori episode’s quality was ramped up. Of course that episode feels like a blatant advertising episode for the Japanese prefecture and they better put on their best quality if they’re going to showcase some of the best tourist sites in the area. This anime is done by Engi whose only other work before this was Hataage! Kemono Michi.

For the voice acting, kudos to Naomi Oozora voicing the lead role of Uzaki. I really love her voice in making her character sound so crude and lively. In a way, it’s kinda cute too. So if you’ve heard her play characters like the titular character in Chio-chan No Tsuugakuro, Satania in Gabriel Dropout and Yuma in Soushin Shoujo Matoi, you know what to expect her from here. Good job. Ayana Taketatsu as Ami and Saori Hayami as Tsuki are the only seiyuus I recognized here. The other casts are Kenji Akabane as Sakurai (Arashi in Triage X), Tomoya Takagi as Sakaki (debut role) and Yousuke Akimoto as Master (Regius in Phantasy Star Online 2: Episode Oracle). The opening theme is Nadamesukashi Negotiation by Kano and Naomi Oozora, a pretty upbeat denpa song that fits the pacing of this series well. Suddenly the ending theme is Kokoro Knock by YuNi becomes a slow ballad. Not to say the song is bad, but after all the antics, hearing such a slow piece feels a bit out of place. A good song for reminiscing. Ah yes, thanks for all the good memories.

Overall, light hearted funny anime that anyone could enjoy. If you like to see funny character interactions between characters who are poles apart in terms of personality and physical appearance, this one might do the trick. I mean, it’s not like everyone is so lucky to have a well-endowed girl to go keep you company for the rest of your college life, right? Don’t let those boobs trick and distract you as tools of fanservice. Maybe they are but we should all see past that for the glorious interaction between Uzaki and Sakurai, right? Don’t blame/hate the boobs! Blame/hate the stigma! Sakurai can have Uzaki to thank for because now he can reminisce back to those college days and rekindle those annoying and bugging moments that could have been in place a quiet and peaceful life… Yeah… Tune in next time when Uzaki and Sakurai are now a married couple and life will never be the same ever again! I bet that won’t be funny anymore…

Gun Frontier

December 12, 2020

Imagine if Captain Harlock was a gunslinger cowboy. Oh heck, actually this was actually the precursor of what Harlock was before he was known as a famous space pirate. Yes, I’m talking about Gun Frontier. No, not to be mistaken with the Japanese side scrolling arcade shooter game of the same name. It’s Gun Frontier the anime! Before there was space opera, it was a western spaghetti. The barren desert wasteland of the wild west that is so unforgiving that it will make a grown man cry like a baby. That death is the only dream come true for the weak. Heh. Go ahead. Make my day. Oops. Wrong reference. But anyway, our cowboy dude here seems to be teaming up with a Japanese dude on a mission to find the latter’s lost clansmen across the landscape.

Episode 1
As narrated, Gun Frontier is a ruthless planet where the weak cannot survive. Ooohhh… I’m so scared… Anyway, a guy tries to sell his rifle for a high price. When denied, he tries to rob the pawn store guy. Luckily for him, his bodyguards shoot him dead. They are Franklin Harlock Jr and Tochiro Oyama. They are tasked to bury the body and they dig a hole right in front of someone’s shop?! Pick somewhere else! They thought a hot chick was watching them but in a blink of an eye she disappears. They thought another robbery occurred so Harlock returns and shoots that guy dead. Turns out he was just a customer so pawn store guy gets mad and fires them. Later the sheriff calls them to give them the reward for the first guy they shot because he is on the bounty list. They then go drink and celebrate their pay and notice that hot chick again. They think she is relate to the guy they murdered and is mad at them. So they go apologize, give her the rifle and all their bounty?! She notes they are real brave men and have no fear of losing everything. Even if they have a million bucks, they will still give it all to her. Yeah, now the guys regret they should’ve retained some money for food. Then they see that hot chick pawning the rifle for $500! After that, they are confronted by a couple of hitman. Harlock didn’t draw his gun because Tochiro didn’t give his permission?! Just draw it now! In an instant he shoots them dead. However, a sniper could’ve done them in had not that hot chick, Sinunora shot him. They thought she hated them. She doesn’t give a definite answer but thinks it is not time for them to die yet.

She hints that a couple of women are hiring men to kill them and to nip this at the bud. At the barn, they see those women seducing men to kill them. This will never end if they don’t take out the women. It isn’t Harlock’s style to kill woman but he won’t be killed either. First he fires warning shots. Those guys think they can be sneaky but Harlock is the fastest gunslinger! When the sheriff comes in, he sees Harlock’s gun and shoots the women! He will then frame these guys for murder. Those men are his deputies. To make an example of them, he is going to hang them all because apparently this town if you don’t have a permanent residence, you don’t deserve wealth. Yeah, return the bounty please! As they badmouth the duo, Tochiro thinks he can kill them all since they are the bad guys. Of course they laugh at this and before they know it, Tochiro draws his sword and slashes them all! No chance! This guy can even dodge bullets! Tochiro explains holding a sword is his style since his hands are too small to hold a gun. Sinunora is stumped if he is an Indian but Harlock claims his partner isn’t even a westerner. It doesn’t matters what race he is and thanks to Tochiro, Harlock is still living today. They pack their bags and leave town and looks like Sinunora intends to follow them whether they like it or not.

Episode 2
A group of bandits attack a carriage that is transporting goods. Seems Harlock and Tochiro are also riding it. They rob everything and even want to rape the hot chick that is with them. But I guess Harlock reminding them to take their stuffs too, yeah, goods > hot woman. Then they put all of them in the carriage and burn it down. They also fire some shots to make sure they stay dead. However the hot chick uses her body to protect them since they helped her. Oh f*ck. What a waste of a beautiful woman. The duo are pulled out by Indians. They claim somebody is misusing their name to commit crime. After the duo bury the victims, they return to Sinunora who is complaining they took their time and came back empty handed! Like, WTF?! She even thinks they are gay!!! Guess what? The guys just f*cking ignore her and go to sleep! Don’t make the day worse. To test if they are really gay, she strips before them! No reaction. So are they really gay?! They claim they can’t concentrate in a threesome so she is happy for them to take turns or fight over her! This is where they draw the line. Friendship > women. They’re not going to kill each other over one. Wow. True men. But okay. You missed your chance, dorks. Damn. Sinunora may be the one who got the last laugh.

Entering the next town with its own set of weird rules, looks like the administrator (is that what they call the mayor here?) is some sort of an environmentalist. Such a ‘clean freak’ too that the only saloon in town is dilapidated and at the outskirts. Our guys are happy to drink with the old bartender who is glad to have customers in 6 months! On the house! But before they could enjoy their drink, the administrator, De La Medam and his men shoot the bartender! That’s for flouting the rules. The duo are then locked up and will be hanged tomorrow. In prison, they know De La Medam is the bandit because of his unique European gun. Learning from the selfish warden he is from France and a wealthy dude, Tochiro then tricks him to hand his stick (which hides his sword) and then kills him to take his key. Meanwhile Sinunora and Medam look like they know each other. Something about they must follow orders from the organization and she won’t have those guys killed yet. But Medam doesn’t care and all he thinks about is peace via control. After some threats, Sinunora tells of Tochiro’s weakness of his eyesight and bad with guns. That was easy. After Harlock and Tochiro discover evidence of this group having Indian getup, Harlock then goes on a gun shooting spree, killing all of Medam’s men. Medam thinks he can run? Tochiro wants to handle this himself to avenge the bartender. Medam gets cocky thinking Sinunora’s info was right on spot as Tochiro misses. At point blank range, Tochiro stabs him. Yeah, stupid guy thinks Sinunora betrayed him for not telling this info! The townspeople are horrified that there will be no one to look after them. When Tochiro tries to reveal Medam as the culprit who robs from others masquerading as Indians, they get mad and kick them out. As they leave, Tochiro stumbles into those Indians and tells the truth. Even so, they cannot forgive the town for stealing their property as they descend and attack the town. Oh well, nothing to do with our vagabonds. Just get going.

Episode 3
While taking shelter from the sandstorm, Sinunora is curious about Tochiro’s origins since he is heading towards Samurai Creek. Of course he doesn’t say. Does it matter where he comes from? They agree not to be nosy on each other’s past so that means they can’t ask where Sinunora came from as she hints she is not from the west. Once the sandstorm is over, looks like their horses are dead! They didn’t bother protecting them?! Yeah, now the guys have to become horses to pull the carriage. At least they have horse meat. Suddenly they are attacked by a lone bandit named Muriguson. He has them even cook horse meat for him and has Sinunora strip and dance! He wants to get lucky with her too so he knocks out the duo to get his chance. However it is revealed Muriguson and Sinunora know each other and they’re just putting up an act. Sinunora tells what she knows about Tochiro and Muriguson will continue doing further investigation. Next time the guys wake up, their stuffs are intact. Just the meat gone. When they enter the next town, a sandstorm briefly hits them. A gunshot is heard. When the sandstorm passes, oh damn, a hot chick dead before them! This has the sheriff and the townspeople accusing them of killing her. Look, here is the wanted poster of them. Uhm, isn’t that Muriguson?! Tochiro claims it doesn’t look like him so the sheriff calls the drunk artist to draw it to look like him! If that doesn’t help, change Tochiro’s face!!! Yeah, they’re going to hang them and get the $35,000 bounty. WTF they also strip Sinunora to hang her?! Damn horny guys.

As they are about to drop the noose, Tochiro uses his hidden sword to cut them loose and kill the sheriff. He knows he was the one who shot the hot chick to blame them. What to do? They needed the money badly. Sinunora then has the drunk artist draw the sheriff’s face on the wanted list. There, turn him in and your money woes are solved. Hooray! Stupid people. As they leave town, they see a dying Muriguson before them. He claims he was attacked by wild dogs. With all that meat he is carrying, is he stupid? Anyway, he seems to know something about Tochiro. Before he could reveal a certain country across the Pacific to Sinunora, he dies. Oh damn. Harlock warns Sinunora of being too nosy on Tochiro’s origins. She’ll be dead if she sticks her nose too deep. No time to bury Muriguson. Let the vultures take care of the body. When they arrive at Samurai Creek, the wild dogs seemingly want to attack them. But upon seeing Tochiro, they back down like the good boys they are. Samurai Creek is now ruins. In shambles. Sinunora notices Tochiro crying. He then says just like her, he too is searching for something. What’s a woman got to do but give this shorty a big hug.

Episode 4
It seems Tochiro has gone off on his own to a town for a mission. A mission he might die from. Harlock doesn’t go with him because he doesn’t want to also die? So much about friendship. In this town, Tochiro meets Hedelnoiya who seems to know a woman he is looking for. Hedelnoiya warns him to keep his distance seeing this town is racist and hates other races not their own. If Tochiro manages to see this woman, he wants him to help out with a job. Tochiro sees that woman, Maya Tibacosl and claims that is not her real name and is supposed to be of the same race as him. But she denies and leaves. Her husband isn’t happy this midget tried to hit on his wife and is going to kill him. Of course with Tochiro being a lousy shooter (poor bird had to die!), Tibacosl gets cocky. Until Tochiro slices him up. The town then celebrates because this guy is ruthless and unforgiving. Apparently this is the job Hedelnoiya wanted Tochiro to do. More shockingly, Maya now goes with him. With Tibacosl gone, they can be together. Tochiro isn’t done talking with Maya yet but she promises to reveal things later. Then she shoots him! Hedelnoiya completes the job by pumping a few more bullets in him. Although Tochiro is a hero for killing Tibacosl, because he is not a white, they just dump his body. Meanwhile Harlock and Sinunora are so deep asleep they didn’t realize their carriage is being carried away by the flood?! Oh, they spot Tochiro’s body floating. Picking him up, Tochiro isn’t dead yet. Thanks to his cloak, the bullets missed all the vital parts. Tochiro mentions she was shot by the woman he was looking for and then asks Harlock if women like good looking guys. Of course! Damn, this guy is crying no woman would want a midget like him?! Harlock gives him hope there is more to looks for a man. Even Sinunora has hope that he is a man among man. Says the woman who is among woman. Damn this dialogue…

Hedelnoiya knows Maya’s real name is Maya Yukikaze. How? He has a katana and shows a scar by it on his back. Wait a minute. Didn’t they have sex just a minute ago?! Didn’t she see this? Unless it was missionary all the way… Long story short, this scar was given by Maya’s father since Hedelnoiya and his merry men were trying to pillage the village. Many died. Hedelnoiya survived and vowed revenge after learning he had a daughter who escaped. But since she found her way to Tibacosl, he had to be careful. Now he is gone, he can do whatever he wants. Hence he wants Maya to pinpoint the treasure. However she doesn’t know and claims she tossed away her name just to survive. She thinks she needs a strong man for that. Seeing she is useless, Hedelnoiya kills her! Right timing as Tochiro comes in. Revenge time? Hedelnoiya claims unfairness since he is unarmed. So Tochiro throws away his sword?! Yeah, the jerk tries to take the katana he stabbed Maya but apparently she is holding onto it tightly! Pry it from my cold hands! Tochiro then kicks this guy in the face! Not sure if that killed him but Maya is sorry for what she did. Revealing her true name to him, her last wish is to say it. And then another hot chick bites the dust. Tochiro is now resolved that since he found a kind of his own here, there must be others in other towns. Sinunora has an idea about Tochiro but he too has the same idea on her. Will he kill her? He hopes not to. But don’t get in his way if she doesn’t want to die.

Episode 5
Arriving in the next town, weird things are happening. Some guy fishing on the roof, some guy sleeping in the street and a guy taking a dump in the middle of the road! Apparently the mayor enacted a new law that allows anyone to do anything. Freedom! This means looks like somebody is sniping at them! While Harlock fights off the menace, Tochiro crawls his way to the bar for a drink. The bartender will serve whoever he wants and beats up Tochiro! Sinunora takes him to the doctor but Dr Surusky tries to rape her?! Of course she knocks him out. Apparently Surusky is the guy whom Tochiro is looking for. Surusky gets scared when Tochiro calls him by his real name, Madaravich. He is the guy who let the survivors out of Samurai Creek and was paid a gold coin. Hence Tochiro knows he has that map that also shows where he led those survivors. Surusky tries to deny it all but his daughter, Katrina tells him to just get clean. She understands why Tochiro wants to reunite with his clan. So as Surusky shows Tochiro the map he hid in his rifle (at the same time claiming he was only a soldier blinded by gold and the massacre at Samurai Creek was ordered by some organization), Katrina talks to Sinunora privately. Sinunora can tell she is from the organization since she knew their names despite not introducing themselves. Katrina reminds Sinunora about her mission to hunt down Tochiro’s people and kill them. Yet she is siding with one. Katrina shoots her. Don’t worry, just a warning shot that grazed her forehead so Sinunora is just unconscious. She is tied up but the lone guy watching her is thinking with his dick so Sinunora suffocates him with her thighs. And she isn’t even that thicc…

Meanwhile Tochiro takes Surusky away. He knows that Surusky is being kept alive because he knows the place of the survivors. Knowing that some will come to see him, the puppet master will follow them to that place. Surusky didn’t like this since he changed his name to escape from it all. Hence starts the weirdest gun fight between them. Yeah, they hit everything except each other! Joining up with Harlock, they make their way out of town as Tochiro continues to talk to Surusky about Katrina being the puppet master. Surusky knew it all along but couldn’t help it. He is just happy being a loving father even if it is all just pretending. Too bad the feeling isn’t mutual as Katrina snipes and kills Surusky. She even desecrates his body by spitting on him! She thinks of letting Harlock live to guide them to the place and kills Tochiro because he is ugly. Sinunora arrives in time to kill her henchmen, allowing Tochiro to cut her. Once again the cloak proved deceptive… Harlock throws her the map. It is only half drawn. The other half was in Surusky’s head as a way to protect himself and she killed him. She doesn’t care and when Harlock turns his back, she is about to shoot him but Tochiro effectively kills her. After burying Surusky, they continue their journey. Sinunora wonders if she can still follow since she might be their enemy. The guys have no problem. Because they’re real men!

Episode 6
In the next town, Sinunora sees Nogson about a missing person named Yamada in the papers. Looks like they both know each other since they’re from the same organization. However Nogson views Sinunora as a traitor since it’s her job to track down the Japs and yet she is with one. He is about to kill her but here comes Tochiro to the rescue. That failed because Nogson’s brother who is also the sheriff points his gun at him. Tochiro is thrown into prison while the sheriff plans to rape Sinunora before he kills him. How typical. Then he will release Tochiro in hopes he will lead them to his people. Of course all that won’t happen since Harlock is here to save the day. After rescuing Tochiro, Nogson holds them at gun point and reveals the missing person was a ruse just to lure in people like Tochiro. He is going to make a great new headline for tomorrow’s paper. He will kill them in pretence for trying to escape. After he shoots Harlock in his shoulder, Tochiro gets mad and damn he’s super fast in getting his sword and cutting their clothes! Now leave this town naked if you don’t want to die! As Tochiro and co leave town later, they see Nogson and the sheriff’s body being cut down. It can’t be Tochiro since he was trying to fetch water. This makes Tochiro happy knowing that his kind is still alive and protecting them from the shadows. Sinunora cautions they might not trust them and get the same death treatment. Tochiro doesn’t care since he is more than happy to be killed by his own people.

As they stay at the cabin for the night, while Sinunora takes a bath outside, this guy comes to kidnap her. Thank goodness Tochiro wanted to take a peek but he lost a gunfight with him. Harlock can’t shoot straight since his shoulder still hurts. Since it’s too dark, the guys will wait till tomorrow morning to rescue her! Yeah, they think Sinunora is too pretty to be killed! Just then, a postman arrives to deliver them a letter. Postman working at this hour???!!! Anyway, a letter from Baron De Noir F. Tartandare addressing to Tochiro and Harlock. Seems he wants to take back Sinunora and challenges them to a sword or gun duel. Oh, apparently the postman was lost and drunk and that’s why the letter arrived a day late. Sure, but how the heck this Tartandare guy know they’ll be staying here?! So as they sleep in for the night, a couple of samurai babes, Sanae and Ayame wake them up. So WTF they confirm they are Japanese like Tochiro but will not bring him to their group because they don’t trust them?! So why show their faces?! Oh, it’s to warn them of an impending flood. The guys move out right before the flood washes away the cabin. Meanwhile the samurai babes go face off with Tartandare. By the time Tochiro and Harlock arrive, the samurai babes have died! OMFG! Twin dead hot chicks! Sinunora is tied up nearby as Tartandare explains Sinunora once belonged to him but she ran away and changed her name. Not sure what this wealthy European dude wants because it’s like he will kill all of them and return alone. Tochiro wants to fight him with a sword and so he agrees. Can’t blame this guy who doesn’t know better. It just ended in a flash with Tochiro slicing him down. No chance. After freeing Sinunora, Tochiro wonders if Tartandare is her husband. She doesn’t want him to ask questions now and there will be a time she’ll reveal it all. Sinunora feels guilty the samurai babes died for her hopes to continue travelling with them. Tochiro doesn’t mind. Just stay by his side, he’ll be happy.

Episode 7
Tochiro is in town alone and he can hear all those racist whites calling him names. So he threatens to do his business in the middle of the streets! Yeah, that showed them. Now everybody runs back into their homes and hide! So as he reliefs himself in the alley, the sheriff arrests him for public indecency. Yeah, he’ll be hanged tomorrow too for that! While sitting in his cell, it seems the reason Tochiro is in this town is because he received a letter for a job to kill a man. To his surprise, it is a woman named Asaka who penned that letter to him. She thinks he has taken this job for he is here in this town. With her help, Tochiro is able to get out of his cell and tie up the sheriff in and indecent manner! Oh man, will he get hanged now? Asaka brings Tochiro back to her place. A wonderful Japanese house. Tochiro must be feeling nostalgic. Asaka gets down to business that she has no money to pay him but will be his servant once his job completes. Tochiro as a samurai has his honour so he doesn’t want that. However Asaka offers her body! OMG, they’re getting down to business! I guess honour has no place in this! Once payment received, Asaka tells her story. The person whom she wants to kill is her husband. Or rather, her captor. Thanks to a traitor named Utamaro, a cavalry decimated Samurai Creek. Survivors thought Asaka’s family had a hand in this and was banished. Hence Asaka was forcefully married off to the leader of the cavalry who is this town’s sheriff (speaking of which, he breaks free when his assistant rescues him but shoots him dead when the assistant threatens to report the indecency!). She waited for a chance to take revenge but realized she is too weak. But with Tochiro here, she has nothing to fear, right?

As she is about to show him the maps of the whereabouts of the survivors, the sheriff and his men surround the place. Tochiro goes into hiding but he can hear the sheriff abusing Asaka as he believes he is having an affair with Tochiro. Yeah, whose f*cking slippers are outside the house! OMG, you messed this one up, Tochiro? Asaka pleads for her life and freedom but he views her no more as a toy. I guess at this point Asaka just reveals her true love for Tochiro. Hey, what she got to lose? He threatens to kill her so that’s when Tochiro comes out of his hiding. I don’t know how the f*ck he could miss slashing and killing him because this allows the sheriff to take Asaka hostage! Give up or she dies. Tochiro does just that and then the sheriff orders his men to kill him. But wait! Asaka dives and protects him from the hail of bullets! Oh no! Another dead hot chick! Rage mode for Tochiro. Now he can kill everybody! As dying Asaka lies in his arms, I guess she’s happy she has met him even if it’s for a short while. Now she’s dead. Damn, the sex was good, no? Sad Tochiro cuts a piece of her hair as keepsake. He doesn’t care about the map anymore as the house burns down. Tochiro returns to Harlock and Sinunora. Poor guy hugs Sinunora and continues crying. He tells what happened and they give him words of encouragement. Yeah, he sure is going to miss that great sex.

Episode 8
In this next town, because there is a train, Tochiro throws a tantrum and wants to ride it. Oh well, might as well sell the new wagon they just bought. Or give it away since they don’t want money! Obviously Tochiro is not allowed to sit in the same carriage as the whites so out the back he sits. Sinunora accompanies him and soon Harlock too because he is associated with the Jap. It seems this train will take them to the next city where Utamaro resides. Soon, a guy offers to let Sinunora in. However he and his men know her and yes, they’re from the same organization and know they are after Utamaro. They think Sinunora is betraying them because she isn’t doing her mission. But when she mentions Tochiro is the same as them, they find this an insult. Before they kill her (why the heck do they need to strip her clothes?)!, she shows them a gold coin from Tochiro. She lies about Tochiro hiding hundreds of these and that’s why she didn’t make her move yet. Of course the greedy guys also realize that Utamaro has lots of this. They plan to get his gold too. As Utamaro knows somebody is after his life, he has beefed up his security and has a hot babe as his gun slinging bodyguard. They’ll let Harlock and Tochiro fight and kill Utamaro and then share the gold just to make them think they are friends. Once his guard is down, they’ll get Tochiro to reveal his gold’s whereabouts. Meanwhile an Indian has bombed the bridge ahead (for being built on sacred land). Because he sees Tochiro’s and recognizes an ally, he warns them about it. Damn, horse as fast as the train? The guys barge in to see Sinunora under attack. Helter-skelter as they take Sinunora and jump off the train. The organization guys think they’re stupid but look who will be having the last laugh as the train falls through the ravine! Thank goodness. There was a woman among that group who just keep screaming in her dialogue. Good riddance won’t be hearing more of that.

Tochiro and co trek to the next city. Hope it isn’t far. Regret selling their wagon, eh? Arriving in the city, can’t miss Utamaro’s residence. That huge luxurious mansion up on the hill. Filled with guards everywhere, thankfully that Indian stole something so all the guard go after him? Yeah, no more guards. Cue for Tochiro’s team to barge in. Hate to interrupt your sex with your bodyguard, Utamaro. Time for some sword slashing business. As Tochiro fights him, Harlock faces off with the bodyguard. Since his skills is unrivalled, it ends in an instant! OMFG! Hot chick just died like that! Tochiro demands Utamaro’s reason for selling out his own people. It seems he considers Japs to be barbarians and uncivilized. To him, only those civilized are qualified to rule and that person to rule them all is no other than their master, Dark Meister. Also, he hates how ugly Japanese look despite being one. And that is our cue for Tochiro to slice him down for good. After living the luxurious life, you don’t think his skills can top Tochiro, right? Revenge achieved. Rest in peace, Asaka and his people. They then discover a secret basement that houses Utamaro’s treasures. For a guy who hates Japanese, he sure has lots of Japanese treasures. Hmmm, maybe he just hates the people… Among them is a sword that is similar to Tochiro’s. He instantly knows this belongs to Shizuku, his sister. He never told this to Harlock because he doesn’t know if she is alive or not. After all, she was at Samurai Creek, the reason why Tochiro came to this land. Now his goal is to find and save Shizuku and his people from Dark Meister. Assuming she is still alive, that is. As they leave, the Indian gives Tochiro the gold he stole. He used to live near Samurai Creek but looks like he has no more friends there. So I guess he doesn’t need it anymore.

Episode 9
While traversing through the sandstorm, they pick up Oliver Winchester who got lost in the midst. Tochiro then rushes off to see a strange monument. Oh sh*t! It’s a corpse of a hot chick hung upside down! A hot chick already dead from the start! A few men then shoot at Tochiro. They didn’t kill him and want to torture him. Thanks to Winchester’s sharp hearing, he heard that they will hang Tochiro tomorrow morning. Arriving in town, since they don’t know where Tochiro is, they stay in a hotel to wait for dawn. So I guess Harlock and Sinunora have got nothing better to pass the time than to chat. Harlock relates the first time he met Tochiro. They were enemies. Harlock was a pirate and like many, came to Japan to pillage. After all, Japan was always at war. Harlock and Tochiro fought but suddenly Tochiro saved Harlock life. They became best friends since and since Tochiro expressed interest in the west, Harlock brought him here on his ship. I guess the talk was so boring that Sinunora wants to f*ck him. Tochiro isn’t here! Too bad, friendship > sex! WTF???!!! HARLOCK, YOU GAY?! Meanwhile we see those guys beating up Tochiro and stripping him naked. Damn, they hint something about him as the only thing not small! Do I think it is what it is?! But I guess we’d rather see Harlock smashing Sinunora… Only Sinunora changes her mind and doesn’t feel like it because he took too long!!!! WTF???!!! With that, they discuss why they’re in this town in the first place. It’s to find a guy named Colorman who has lots of women. Suddenly they are interrupted when the wall comes crashing down. A bunch of disappointed women who couldn’t get to see some copulating action! They hint that because Colorman looks like Tochiro, the reason they think Tochiro is that guy and lured him out by killing his wife! Yeah, those guys are jealous he has so many mistresses!

Next day, they see Tochiro already hung in the plaza! OMFG! Did they oversleep?! Sinunora is reduced to crying while Harlock is going to get revenge. Winchester passes him special bullets and as Harlock tries to get Tochiro down, those guys attack thinking he is Colorman’s ally. Some vengeful sharpshooting. When Harlock uses the special bullet, it shoots through the iron! You mean he is so surprised, he didn’t see the other baddies surrounding him?! But alas, cue for Tochiro to wake up, grab his sword (Harlock left it with him then), cut himself loose and slash everybody! Sinunora, you can stop crying now. Winchester is so amazed that his cigar accidentally lit up the gunpowder barrel. WTF?! BOOM! Tochiro is still alive is because the noose was hung around his waist. Apparently Winchester is a rich duded and he paid off the hangman for this. This is to repay his debt for saving him from the sandstorm. The explosion seemed to kill Colorman who was watching nearby. Oh shucks. Can’t question him now because he sold about 20 Japanese women and he might have some clues about them. Harlock notes about the special bullet. But after a use, it ruined his gun. Winchester is disappointed as he planned to sell it to the military as this special bullet was made by Shizuku! Oh Tochiro, don’t kill him if you want more answers! Winchester was in the organization when he met Shizuku. However he left since he doesn’t agree to their ways of using science and technology for evil purposes. But he doesn’t know about Shizuku’s whereabouts now. Tochiro hopes she is still alive.

Episode 10
Arriving in the next town to find clues of a samurai sword, Tochiro is stopped by this guy, Henagum from entering because this town forbids short people! Discrimination! I wonder how this works out for kids and babies… Okay, but why the f*ck did he need to shoot their horse?! Tochiro waits outside while the duo go investigate. While cooking horse meat, a young lad and his sister come begging for food. Tochiro shares and being the big heart he is, gives them more horse meat to take back to their dad. He too is banished because of his height. Also, he is dying of a terminal disease. Tochiro wants to get some medicine to relief his cough so what is his medication? Liquor! You can’t be serious! As Tochiro goes into town to get some, the lad then mentions about seeing his mom. You see, mom left dad because of his height and married another taller guy. Yeah, how did they even marry in the first place? He doesn’t like mom for leaving but has no choice since dad is dying. So what’s her name? Yoneko. Sounds so Japanese. In town, Tochiro can easily find her. That’s because Henagum who is f*cking her is screaming her name out loudly! Can’t miss that. I wonder if she loves his tall dick too. Sorry to interrupt your sex but Tochiro has business with her. Please come with him. Too bad he let his guard down thinking they’re of the same kind so she clubs him from the back.

Next morning, Tochiro is going to be hanged. Not again! Harlock and Sinunora can’t do anything because they are outnumbered. Since Sinunora begs to do anything, you bet the horny Henagum tells her to strip! And so she did. Because all the horny men are enjoying the striptease, this allows Harlock to shoot the noose off. Henagum is confident they are still outnumbered. True, but Harlock will kill him first! The coward calls off the execution. As for Yoneko, since she continues to badmouth about her ex-husband, Tochiro slices up he clothes! He warns her she is dead and never to appear before her children anymore. As they leave, a punk tries to be funny but you know, nobody is a faster gunslinger than Harlock, right? Let that be a warning. Returning to the ailing father, Tochiro tells mom died after overworking for this medicine. The liquor, right?! He also lies that she didn’t marry a tall guy. Father understands anything and because he has no money, he only has this samurai sword to give. That’s the sword they’re looking for, right? It was given by Yoneko’s father in hopes of taking care of his daughter. He also knows that in Jama City which is reachable after a few train stops, there is a large settlement of Japanese. That’s where he met Yoneko. But be warned, the Japanese women there don’t like Japanese men! The irony. As Tochiro and co make their way to the next town and suddenly before them are Japanese samurai men! They have been watching Tochiro and although he isn’t the enemy, they don’t see him as an ally either. Thus they can’t let him join them although their goal is to head to Jama City and free their comrades. But it doesn’t change the fact Tochiro’s goal is the same so he hopes it will soon change their mind. Yeah, Harlock and Sinunora blaming themselves for being white for not helping out with Tochiro’s case! What’s race gotta do with it?! As they take the next time, Henagum is making a scene because tall people aren’t allowed in the carriage since the owner of this train is a shorty! Talking about freedom and equality, huh? What about you, f*cking hypocrite?! Sit right outside at the back! And more just desserts as Sinunora shoot him as payback to the striptease. That’s your justice!

Episode 11
Arriving at Jama City, uhm, there is no town! Did they just build a station in the middle of nowhere?! As they stay in the station for the night, they notice the mountain glowing. Tochiro goes to check it out but Harlock is afraid of ghosts?! Cue for Sinunora to wonder what will happen after their fight with the organization is over. Will she be abandoned? Tochiro then screams for them to come up here. Oh dang, the huge Jama City hiding behind the mountain! They learn that the one who rules this place is Shitalnen and he is from the organization. Yup, another guy ruling with an iron fist. Each time they ask for his hideout, somebody shoots and kill the poor chap! I wonder why they didn’t shoot Tochiro too if that’s the case! We see Shitalnen a slave driver, forcing the Japanese to complete some weapon. I believe Shizuku is among them trying to give her people some hope but those who don’t work, Shitalnen mercilessly kills them! Learning that the samurai group is here, Shitalnen and his men go face them. The samurai guys aren’t stupid since they are hiding and fire their matchlock gun when they refuse to heed to their demand. But Shitalnen isn’t cowering yet. Night falls as Tochiro and co prepare to sleep. Suddenly somebody fires with a matchlock into their room?! WTF?! The culprit is also left the gun at the door?! From how it is made, Tochiro can tell it is done by his people. But of course, a note stating Sinunora is captured and to come to a certain place. Meeting up, once more she is stripped naked and tied up. So the culprits are those samurai guys? They think they can ambush the duo but a stupid distraction by Tochiro has him slice some of them and Harlock getting in some of the action too. The rest soon flee in cowardice. Tochiro realizes they are not real samurai because of the way they handled the matchlock. But how do they get the kimono and sword then?

Next day, they see a guy selling a bunch of samurai swords. It seems he saw a bunch of dead samurai corpse out of town and collected their swords to sell. Tochiro rushes to the scene to see his fellow men massacred. With one of them alive, he recounts that Shitalnen used a gatling gun on them! I guess now this guy only views Tochiro as their saviour. Please save their kind. Because he is one of them. So it has to turn out like this for Tochiro to be accepted, huh? Shitalnen returns to brag about his kills and destroy any hope of those Japanese being rescued. Then he threatens to kill Shizuku because he won’t be taken for a fool if she thinks she can delay the completion. She promises to complete it in 2 days. Now Shitalnen and his men are chasing Tochiro’s group. Tochiro could have been done in by the gatling gun had not Sinunora been quick. It must be a lucky day for our heroes since they manage to run and escape from the rain of hell bullets and Shitalnen’s car is slowpoke. I know Tochiro wants to die avenging his people but Sinunora slaps him to at least retreat for today. His people can’t be saved if he dies now, right? And so Tochiro is frustrated but with simple motivational words from Harlock and Sinunora, don’t give up, there’s always tomorrow! Oh yeah. We’re gonna get stronger and finish this.

Episode 12
Sinunora feels bad now that she has betrayed Dark Meister? So she wants to leave the gang? Tochiro hopes she can tell her story because they’re friends. Hey, what happened about the no prying business? I guess we’re at this point so might as well tell. She reveals that Dark Meister wants to control all the science and technology in the world for evil. You see, every war that has happened, Dark Meister has a hand in it. As for why she is in the organization, she was actually studying biology in Europe and was fascinated by the organization’s ambitions. Only later she realized its evil intentions. It was then she was also ordered to keep an eye on Tochiro and extract info on him. At this point the guys just forgive her because it’s not like there’s any point if they separate now, right? Meanwhile Shitalnen realizes Shizuku is a girl after her getup accidentally comes off. He tries to rape her but luckily his wife is here! Meanwhile the trio discuss their strategy to take down Shitalnen but first they have to get pass his gatling gun. Tochiro’s idea is for Harlock to be a decoy and get shot while he sneaks up behind and slash him. Of course that won’t do so Harlock suggests Tochiro be the decoy and get shot while he shoots Shitalnen. Surprise, Tochiro agrees! It was just a joke, but heck, he’s going with this plan. Then they talk about Shizuku whose talents surpass many men. Because women in Japan do not get acknowledged, the reason she came to the west for freedom and equality to test her skills. For some reason, Tochiro and Harlock want to go see a striptease show. WTF???!!! I guess they need a break before the real fight. Because of that, Sinunora sees her real employer. Seems she wants out since she has given enough info about Dark Meister. However her boss wants her to keep monitoring Tochiro and Harlock and not reveal her true mission yet. She looks so disappointed…

The horny men watch the striptease. Isn’t that a Japanese chick? Of course Tochiro and Harlock get captured and are immediately sent to the gallows. Their hope is only Sinunora. She too gets captured! Worse, she gets stripped and her modesty outraged. Who gonna save them now? Suddenly an explosion! That Japanese stripper set it off as revenge. Seems she knows Shizuku and tells them her location. She was also from Samurai Creek as all technicians there were kidnapped here. But she claims herself as a traitor as she sold her body to Shitalnen just to survive. You see, Shitalnen’s weakness is women and he will get his hands on any pretty women he finds. As she has had enough of being defiled, she is going to kill herself by taking more men with her. You know, that guy who got charmed by her deserves to die! I mean, wanting to f*ck in the midst of the chaos?! Sadly, she burns herself with that stupid horny guy. Meanwhile Shitalnen hasn’t given up raping Shizuku when his man comes reporting about the blast. He doesn’t care until his wife shows up. Then he gives stupid excuses to go to the site. Because of his frustration, he is just firing randomly but here comes Tochiro. A showdown? Shitalnen isn’t stupid and he knows Tochiro is just a decoy. His men spot Harlock and Sinunora so they start firing. Tochiro fires at Shitalnen and although he misses the dude, his bullet hits his gatling gun and malfunctions it! Shitalnen is left crying like a baby with his toy broken! His men retreat. The trio then trek to his hideout but at this point Shitalnen has got Shizuku hostage and brought out a huge freaking cannon on a train.

Episode 13
WTF, Shizuku wants to test it but Shitalnen knows she’s up to something. Okay. We’ll test it. Fire at the trio! Now she refuses?! What’s more, the trio just stood there!!! Shouldn’t they be hiding?! They know it’s a cannon, right?! Shizuku gives a coded figure to Tochiro to close their ears. Then she pulls the trigger and the loud cannon noise has everyone temporarily deaf. Wow. It hit the rock behind the trio but they’re safe as long as they cover their ears?! BS!!! WTF, Shizuku now tells them to hide and they hide. But why she herself didn’t escape because Shitalnen and his men arguing they can’t hear each other! This is so stupid! Shitalnen wants to fire another shot but is reminded they need to delivery this to Dark Meister. While Harlock and Sinunora keep the men at bay, Tochiro runs after and jumps onto the train. He slices all the men till he reaches Shitalnen. Baddie claims he wants to fight fair and square. True to his sneaky nature, he springs a trap on Tochiro’s head. Then he goes beat him up while Shizuku tries to stop the aggression on her onii-chan. Shitalnen realizes they are siblings so he molests Shizuku just to rile up Tochiro. Yeah, he stabs his butt! Shitalnen so mad he beats them both up. WTF, Shitalnen’s wife getting turned on with this violence?! During all that, Tochiro pulls the trigger so the cannon’s recoil hit a hard one on Shitalnen’s back. Wife gets mad and wants to kill Tochiro but she is shot dead by Harlock and Sinunora on a horse.

More drama as the train is out of control, cannot be stopped and a broken bridge ahead. Tochiro tells Harlock to save Shizuku and his people at the back carriage. After doing so, they jump off. A weakened Tochiro is about to do the same but Shitalnen holds on to him. Dragging you to hell too. Sinunora then tries to push off Shitalnen?! WTF?! Shouldn’t she use a weapon or at least poke his eyes?! This is so stupid!!! I guess Shitalnen is already dead so he lets go but by that time the train goes off the bridge! Oh no! But yeah, luckily Tochiro and Sinunora jump off in time. Now, you’d think it would be a happy ending as Shizuku goes to reunite with her people when suddenly the carriage explodes!!! OMFG!!! What gives! Hovering above them is a huge blimp. Damn, it’s firing missiles too! Because of the fire barricade, it separates Shizuku from the rest. So I’m guessing this shadowy figure with a claw hand is Dark Meister? Yeah, by the time Tochiro jumps through the flames, Shizuku is being kidnapped as the blimp takes off. Tochiro manages to jump on board as Shizuku still struggles. Damn, this is dangerous. Seeing Dark Meister, Tochiro gets mad and tries to slice him but Dark Meister pulls a gun on him. Thanks to Shizuku’s shoulder blocking the shot, his aim is off but Tochiro falls off. The blimp flies away but Tochiro can be glad knowing that Shizuku is still alive. After burying the dead Japanese, the trio then continue their mission to hunt down Dark Meister.

Gun x Sword: The Last Samurai
Oh well, it seems pretty dissatisfying that it had to end that way but I guess most animes would have ended on a very similar note that screams, “And so their journey continues…”. Since there were no further sequels to this series, I suppose if you really want to know what happened, you have to go read the manga. The manga that came out way back in the mid-70s! Good luck trying to find if there are any copies on Amazon or any old timers keeping a copy hidden in their cupboard. All forgotten like the wild barren wastelands of Gun Frontier… Sheesh… I think it is going to take a while for me to stop trying to talk tough like the narrator of this series.

The story is pretty basic although the first few episodes few like filler and standalones because we see our main group hoping from one town to another, trying to find pieces of clues of what happened to Tochiro’s people. More than often, it feels like they’re going on a wild goose chase, having only bits and clues at their hands before moving on to the next town. Is it me or is every town in the west feel like they’re one strange land, each with their own rules? I mean, we got a town that has no rules, then a town that doesn’t like short people and a town at the very beginning that you don’t deserve wealth if you’re not a resident. The land of the free and equal opportunity, huh? More like the land of the strange racists! Oops. Let’s not go that far, shall we. As the story progresses we got a revenge plot for Tochiro to kill a traitor and then it also turns out he is looking for his missing sister. So my guess is that this will be the biggest and final mission our heroes will have to undertake because in order to save Shizuku, they will also have to confront the organization and Dark Meister himself.

Now, it is very obvious here that Harlock himself isn’t the main character and is playing sidekick to Tochiro who feels a lot like the main character with many scenes putting him in focus. Even more so, I can’t help feel that Harlock himself is a bit of a retard although I want to say that he is taciturn and doesn’t talk much. But the way he says his lines and dialogues, I don’t know, it feels a bit amateurish and in a way, makes him sound a bit of a retard. Even if his dynamism with Tochiro is amusing to watch (sometimes played out as a joke), sometimes you can see that way he answers back makes him sound like one. I don’t mean to insult his character but perhaps Harlock being a gunslinger means he does the talking with his gun and hands. Tochiro of course as the main character, he’s pretty okay and like I’ve said, being pals with Harlock makes their relationship feel a lot amusing. You don’t feel any gay bromance between them because I guess it’s back in the early 2000s so such concept is quite alien. It’s more a manly relationship between the duo. The irony that they mention they don’t know what the other think, well, did they not have this no prying business thingy and if you don’t talk, how would the other know? Am I right? That’s why we don’t really know much about their past except for what is explained, which I feel is just touching the surface.

You wonder how Sinunora as the third wheel fits into this. They need to add a hot babe to the group for some eye candy, I guess. Sure, she has her own agenda following the duo and her own secrets and past. It feels a lot about her is not revealed and that she could still be putting up a mask to hide her real identity. Tochiro and Harlock hint they have an idea about her but sometimes I doubt that and maybe they’re just trolling. Thanks to the strong friendship between the guys, Sinunora can’t really get in between them or break them down. To show that she is still human inside, we see her sometimes in conflict with her mission as she goes to see people of the organization that are just literally everywhere! She’s just told to shut up and continue her mission. Who knows if she has a loved one taken hostage and that’s why she’s so willing to continue this spying mission without further questioning.

With all the drama and the plot, I do notice that there is some sort of recycled joke throughout the series. One of them and the biggest one being Tochiro and Harlock getting captured and then being executed by hanging. Like as though this is their favourite pastime! By halfway through, each time I see them ending up in prison or going to be hanged, I’ll be like, “Oh brother. Here we go again…”. Yeah… But they don’t have to worry, though. Because they are the heroes, plot convenience is always here to save them from the gallows. Somehow. Because the bad guys are also too stupid. With that kind of face, I can see why. Which brings me to my next point…

One of the striking elements watching this series is the art style. Although it is definitely old school anime, the one thing that really annoys me and also makes me laugh like mad is the drawing of many other characters. In short, funnily ugly! Perhaps it is some sort of trademark because you can tell the character is just an extra background character or the villain if the character possesses one or more or all of this funnily ugly traits. You notice their eyes are small and so close to each other. Then they have big nose. And their mouths are huge like as though they have mumps or something. Like, WTF do they have this derp face?! Hard for me to take it seriously too when each episode opens with a narration of how unforgiving and tough the land of Gun Frontier is. And then I remember such faces… My smirk is faster than Harlock’s drawing his gun! The good, the bad, and the dorky!

Not only the humans, but the animals too! OMFG! Why the f*ck to horses have this dork face too?! Worse, the vultures! Oh dear. I don’t know if the vultures came out from some sort of cartoon because they look so cartoonish with these dork features. Therefore even when the speech is serious, it is hard for me to take it seriously because of the dork face. Just look at the Indian. Dork face Indian! It’s not because what he said is funny, it’s because of that freaking derp facing that I’m laughing at and finding it hard to take it all so seriously! WTF! WTF???!!! I know this anime is more of a comedy adventure but seriously, the face. Oh man. The face. And to think that Tochiro looks like a character coming from Charlie Brown’s Peanuts comic strip…

On the other hand, most of the women in this series are beautiful. Yeah, if they resemble like those from Galaxy Express, you know why. It’s the trademark. Man, look at those long gorgeous eyelashes. Too bad despite those hot beautiful chicks, they all look the same! Uh huh. Just put on a different hairstyle and voila! Different woman already. So much so I was confused and thought this was the woman from the previous episode. I know anime girls look the same in terms of you can’t tell that girl is of this nationality unless they mention it (you know, that typical anime girl look). It is the same case for here because I see no difference between western women and Japanese women. The only difference is that the Japs don’t have blonde hair so that’s a great sign. Other than that, the face still looks the same. Did they naturalize? I don’t think so. But like I said, just put on a different wig and you’ve got yourself a different hot chick character. Yeah, Shizuku so pretty I can’t blame Harlock for thinking that they might be step siblings instead of real blood related brother and sister!

Speaking of hot beautiful women, this series also has some mature theme and quite some fanservice. Yeah, every guy on this planet is just a pervert. Your cue for some naked fanservice. However with the women being stripped naked, I don’t think this constitutes to hentai because I do notice that no tits were drawn! Ah, the loophole. Not sure if it is because I am watching a very low quality video so the tits are not quite visible. This is especially the case with Sinunora who has no qualms in getting naked. Whether by her own accord or horny bad guys want a free show. She doesn’t bat an eyelid to just strip down but also let them make her do embarrassing poses. I suppose she has something worth protecting and hence getting dirty with such stuffs is no big of a deal. Could it be that she was an ex-prostitute? Damn, Harlock and Tochiro are the biggest losers passing up on Sinunora offering them sex… Don’t tell me they’re shy?!

As for the animation, it feels quite poor. Maybe it’s the version I watched. It’s not exactly BD quality but whatever. The colouring and hues also feel quite bland even if this is the barren wasteland. Then you see the explosions or the fire, it just feels like a joke. Because, still frames?! I mean, are they even serious in animating this? I checked this series is animated by Echo who only animated a few hentai anime and this is their only non-hentai anime. No wonder…

Now let’s talk about the action parts. This isn’t really an action adventure and although there are a few action scenes, they are very short and fast. It’s like miss and you’ll blink. Well, I suppose this is better than dragging out a fight scene for several episodes! Looking at you, Dragonball series! The ‘longest’ fight I believe was between Tochiro and Utamaro’s sword clash. But that by action standards is also too fast. Anyway, you do notice that after a few fights that end in death, the dead guy has no blood! Not at all! Yup, this series does not show a single ounce of blood at all. Wait, maybe there was one moment but that was Tochiro being beaten up and I’m not sure if that was his snot running down his nose miscoloured as blood. But overall, there is no blood from the gunshot or sword stab, rendering each baddie they kill like some sort of doll. It’s just weird. Oh well, just ramp up the body count. Also, animals not spared because horses die and they become horse meat… Yum?

Also I do notice that in every episode, they kill off a hot chick! Whether or not she makes a cameo for that episode or is just a side character, at least one hot chick killed off per episode is the quota. I don’t know, does the author have something against beautiful women? Only in 1 episode that a hot chick didn’t die and that was when our heroes entered Jama City. You may also argue that the episode featuring Yoneko, no women died but I suppose technically she is ‘dead’ because Tochiro said so. So metamorphic speaking she is considered ‘dead’. At least in the eyes of her son and family. Hey, at least Sinunora and Shizuku are still alive. But beware, beautiful women of Gun Frontier. As the opening narration wasn’t enough warning for you, it’s such a great sin to be a hot chick in this series. So unforgiving.

One factor that made me decided to watch this series is of course Kappei Yamaguchi as Tochiro. He feels a lot like home voicing many other characters I heard him voiced like titular characters of Ranma 1/2 and Inu Yasha. Loud and brash. While the voice acting is okay, it is the script that somehow makes the dialogue sometimes feel weird as I have pointed out a few paragraphs above. That’s why Harlock sounds like so. He is voiced by Eiji Takemoto (Drake in One Piece), Sunohara by Rika Masumoto (Satoshi AKA Ash in Pokemon series) and Shizuku by Chisa Yokoyama (Biscuit in Hunter x Hunter). The opening theme is Style by Grand Zero. Quite an upbeat rock music that I feel doesn’t quite suite the pacing of this series. If it was a shonen action piece like Naruto, maybe. But not this. The ending theme is a slow rock, Ame To Sanbika by Umeno Yoshizawa. I guess this one is a bit okay. I prefer many of the BGMs because they have this cool guitar pickings that really give off the feel of this wild west setting. Though, there is one funky piece but that’s not bad either.

Overall, this series had its potential but with its poor production quality and lots of dumb stupid moments, it is no wonder this series was never given a sequel and they went back in making more Captain Harlock centred series and movies while leaving this one to be forgotten in the echelons of time. Buried underneath all the dirt and dust accumulated. So I guess it is true when they narrated how Gun Frontier is a place where the dead are forgotten and the living run like hell, where those who risk their lives to chase the elusive dream they may never get. Yup, this series is definitely dead because those who watched it have all ran away, leaving this series all alone and lonely, never reaching the same heights as its Captain Harlock franchise. Gun Frontier… So Unforgiven…

Anime De Wakaru Shinryounaika

December 11, 2020

Damn prolonged lockdown and other social distancing measures in place caused by the Corona virus must be making us all sick and gloomy, huh? Your mental health is taking a toll the more this gets dragged on, eh? And you’re out of a job and have no money to see the doctor to help cure your depression? I’m sure some governments provided some hotline for people to help deal with this but WTF, do you trust your government?! Anyway, all I’m saying is that if you’re feeling the blues because of this pandemic, don’t panic because we’ve got Anime De Wakaru Shinryounaika to help explain some mental and health issues to you. All in 5 minutes. So do you like dick jokes? Even better, hot women in nurse outfits making lots of dirty jokes? Well then, you’ve come to the right place. Let the mental healing begin. I bet this will brighten up your day. AM I RIGHT???!!!! ARE YOU FEELING A LOT BETTER NOW???!!!

Episode 1
Ryou Shinnai and Asuna Kangoshi will be telling us all about psychosomatic (mental) diseases throughout this series. First they talk about the basics of mental disorders before jumping in to the main disorder of erectile dysfunction. Are we prepared for dick jokes? Oh please don’t be too hard on me! While we have physical conditions that cause ED, there are more rising cases of psychosomatic ED recently. So are they trying to tell us that current lifestyles like those preferring 2D over 3D is the cause of it?! Is there a correlation?! Anyway, they advise to take some pills and treatments if it gets too serious to reduce the psychological stress. But if all that doesn’t work, maybe you should go to a mental clinic.

Episode 2
Today, Ryou and Asuna touch briefly on how mental issues develop and it is basically mainly because of the environment. This leads them to talk about that dreaded disease known as lolicon! Oh, so its actual medical term is paedophilia? Ryou proceeds to quiz us with several scenes if it is considered as paedophilia but thanks to the very narrow definition of it, I guess most of them aren’t! So lolicons rejoice? So I suppose even if it is wrong in terms of social ethics, psychiatry wise it is safe?! Then they also talk about some of its treatments but I guess nothing beats the ‘treatment’ of calling the police. Lolicons, be warned!

Episode 3
Asuna’s grandpa is a guest star in today’s episode. I guess this means today’s topic is dementia. Oh wait. That term is offensive today? So it’s called cognitive impairment? Anyway, to determine if one has dementia, oops, I mean cognitive impairment, one is given a set of questions to ask. Of course if you have more wrongs than rights, it is a sign that you may be developing dementia. Oops, I mean cognitive impairment. So I think it is safe to safe that Asuna’s grandpa has one? And because that blood runs in the family, Asuna also showing the same symptoms? Maybe the entire family is just this kooky. So why to people develop this in the first place? One main theory is to escape the fear of death.

Episode 4
I think I have sleeping disorder too because of watching too much anime! Anyway, that is today’s topic and Asuna’s grandpa is having such problems. Or is he not? I don’t think not being able to sleep with not babes is a mental disorder… What’s this about REM sleep into ha-REM sleep or M(asochistic) sleep?! Grandpa sure has a very vivid imagination. Explaining the sources of stress, this leads to some Super Saiyan awakening jokes. But thankfully there are many available natural remedies rather than relying on medication. The important thing is to relax and not think too much. And grandpa is starting to ponder about the depth and meaning of his life at this point…

Episode 5
Today’s special guest is a goddess?! Oh, it’s just Asuna’s elder sister, Iyashi. Both sisters don’t hesitate to tease Ryou since today he is going to talk about the psychological effects of colours. Yeah, pantsu colours, right? Not! Anyway, each time Ryou talks about the effect the colour represents, you bet Iyashi is going to turn it into some obscene sex joke. In the end, the sisters wrap up for him since he is ‘too slow’. I wonder what the colour of frustration and depression is.

Episode 6
Don’t panic! Because today’s mental disorder is about panic disorder. Leave it to the sisters to make sexual subtexts just to panic Ryou. They talk about the symptoms and how many panic disorders lead to agoraphobia. If the panic disorder has not gone out of control yet, don’t panic because it is still treatable. Of course the biggest advice is not to handle it yourself if you’re facing one because you’re only putting more pressure on yourself. Can I run away from it all then? Or will it just increase my panic disorder! Such vicious cycle…

Episode 7
Asuna is depressed. And that is today’s topic. But since she starts making dirty jokes, this makes Ryou depressed. Man, this is going to be a depressing episode? Ryou starts with some of the basic questions that determines if one has depression. So basically if you have 1/4 you have depression. Then he talks about SSRI antidepressants used to treat people with depressions. For easier visualization, he uses the cabaret club scene (which of course to me doesn’t make any sense). And the advice as always, consult your doctors before taking any form of medication. Asuna thinks the best cure for depression is love! Only if she could stop making dirty jokes…

Episode 8
Beach episode! I guess it’s time to introduce another Kangoshi sister. She is Himeru the middle sister and unlike the other duo, she is quite shy with others. Today she is seeking advice because there are lots of patients asking her about ED. Yeah. We’re revisiting that topic. So no more beach fanservice as we now turn to dick jokes! Ryou passionately explains the causes of ED especially when there isn’t enough blood flowing and mental anxiety causing such stress to occur. Obviously, to reduce ED, you have to reduce your anxiety. There are drugs to help you too like Viagra but since there are lots of fakes around, it is best to get a doctor’s prescription. So people with ED, don’t stress over it and just open up to others! Uhm, I think that is going to be hard!

Episode 9
We are given a picture to spot the difference. If you can’t spot that leaf difference, do you lack concentration? So I guess it’s not a man in lingerie impersonating as Iyashi difference! Fueichi Shitaki admits he loves women’s lingerie and with that you might have guessed today’s episode is about fetishism. However based on the definition of this, fetishism is only towards inanimate objects. So those who are into boobs or feet, that doesn’t count as fetishism! Oh damn. Is that supposed to be a relief? Now I’m confused. But hey, remember you still a pervert! There is this caveat about fetishism that as long as it doesn’t cause trouble to others, it is okay. So yeah, no stealing women lingerie! Buy it online! Bad news: There isn’t really a cure for fetishism and treatments can only help to a certain extent. Lastly, we see Iyashi’s fetish about men… Men with money!!! I can see how this brings in ultimate satisfaction!

Episode 10
While Asuna and Iyashi are walking in the part, a flasher comes to flash! Asuna got traumatized but Iyashi just loved it. Anyway, Asuna bugs Ryou about this so you bet today’s topic is about exhibitionism. As they go over its definition, I don’t understand that it must be done in at least 6 months to qualify for exhibitionism? So that guy who flashed in 5 months isn’t considered as one?! I must be missing something here. Ryou continues to talk about the source and reasons why people (majority of them men of course) resort to this. As for how to treat this, Asuna is not impressed with some of the suggestions like ignoring the flasher because it’s like pushing the responsibility onto women. But don’t worry, I’m sure the last treatment is what many of us can agree on: Call the police. Yeah, the flasher got arrested but feels his battle has just begun…

Episode 11
As Asuna is walking on the streets, she sees a strange hole. Curiosity has her peek at it and she found out too late a hidden peeping tom has taken shots of her pantsu. So this time she comes bugging Ryou about peeping toms. Or a more correct term, voyeurism. Once again, as its official definition goes, it only involves nudism, removing clothes or sexual acts. Hence looking at pantsu isn’t part of the definition?! Also, it must be done in at least 6 months and so it must be a relief for those who did it only once. And yeah, it is not a problem if the other party isn’t bothered. Of course all this doesn’t sit well with Asuna as Ryou further explains the reasons why voyeurs resort this. Also to note, today’s cases are dwindling thanks to the internet. But I don’t think anyone would appreciate grandpa as he rants how hard it was in those days to get those sweet stuffs. Now it’s all too easy and available on the internet! As Ryou recommends several remedies and treatments, Asuna finds none that are assuring. Ah, but there is one. Yup, call the police.

Episode 12
Today’s topic is social anxiety and Himeru will be perfect to illustrate this. It seems she is very nervous since she is joining a new club. Hence she dresses up as a pig and puts on layers of masks! Isn’t this more embarrassing? Cue for Ryou to explain about social anxiety and she’s not the only one as it is quite a common phobia with public speaking being most widespread. There are some simple cures to help overcome that and to help Himeru overcome hers, they practice talking to her. Of course she continues to panic and her speeches comes off as ambiguous. It’s time for Himeru to meet her figure skating club members. Actually they are all otaku nerds skating with their figurines. Himeru closed her heart even further… I can’t blame her, though…

Episode 13
Himeru is worried that a family member is having difficulty sleeping. Due to privacy policy, she can’t say the name but it is hinted it could be grandpa. So Himeru sleeps with grandpa and he licks her in his sleep?! Anyway, Ryou diagnoses this as sleep apnea syndrome (SAS) whereby the main cause is usually the blockage of the air passageway. It’s also called Pickwickian syndrome because a story by Charles Dickens has a character with similar traits. Yes, obesity is one of the leading causes of SAS. Ryou mentions a few simple treatments to help cure SAS and if that doesn’t work, you have to of course see a specialist. Finally it is revealed the SAS family member turns out to be their pet python! Did it just swallow grandpa?! Isn’t that why it couldn’t sleep well?!

Episode 14
Blast to the past! Our good doctor and nurses find themselves in the past. Right at the moment Nobunaga realizes Mitsuhide has betrayed him and is burning down Honnouji. Today’s topic is about grief and Iyashi being a history nut is trying to flirt with Nobunaga. Do they even have time for this? Ryou explains the 4 stages of grief from denial to anger to giving up and acceptance to finally hope. In the end, Nobunaga won’t give up hope and will continue fighting. If he survives this, he’ll let Iyashi marry him. That would’ve been a dream come true but only if it’s not just a damn dream of Iyashi. Just a f*cking dream! What to do if you can’t accept it all as a dream? The grievance starts in 3, 2, 1…

Episode 15
Today’s topic is on seasonal affective disorder or its apt acronym, SAD. It’s basically split into summer or winter depression, each having their own symptoms. So I suppose those into those seasonal holidays don’t count. One of the basic therapy to help cure this is light therapy. Basically you just need to inject some fresh sunlight into your skin each morning you wake up and you’ll feel much better for the day. So are they saying to stop watching anime and go outside?! Not a chance! No wonder we’re so depressed… But don’t absorb too much sunlight because in Iyashi’s case who has been sunbathing all day at the beach, she is now darker than a negro!!!

Episode 16
Iyashi feels somebody is stalking her. The culprit turns out to be a young handsome kid, Kazuki Sutou. Instantly Iyashi likes him and wants to get married! Heck, Kazuki even admits that he is a stalker and is doing so because he likes to see her being scared! Of course we have Ryou explaining the reason people stalk and it is mainly to get positive and negative strokes. It serves somewhat like nourishment to the brain. Although many people would strive for positive strokes, sometimes negative strokes are desire in dire situations. Any strokes are better than none. So back to Iyashi who is ready to marry Kazuki and the kid is happy to stalk her forever, here comes grandpa who claims Kazuki is his childhood friend. He just got a cosmetic surgery to look like a young kid! OMG… Instantly Iyashi calls the police to take both the old guys away… Goodbye forever, my love…

Episode 17
Ryou and Asuna visit Himeru who is working part time at a healthy café. Contradicting its name, the staffs are anything but healthy. Himeru took up this job since nobody normal would hire her. After all, she always makes mistakes anyway. But isn’t she already a nurse? Turns out she needs extra money to buy a present. No, not an H-doll but a Hina doll! And of course she will be fired soon and she can’t help feel sad about it. Hence today’s topic is about anger and some psychological tactics to overcome it. One method includes to scream out all your frustrations for 10 minutes a day or to write them down in a diary. Research shows that those who did this will definitely have higher performance much later. So now Himeru takes their order but is brutally honest with all the unhealthy menu and methods the café has to offer. Turns out this isn’t a healthy café but rather a hell see café. As luck would have it, the café closed down before Himeru could get fired… Sad…

Episode 18
Iyashi is having a marriage meeting so you bet they’re going to take a peek at her. So it’s held at a maid café?! Well, she got turned down so many times, normal places won’t do for her. And the guy whom she is meeting as that peeping tom?! As expected, the meeting is weird since the guy is only talking about his fetish for school girls. But Iyashi is loving it and blushing?! Hence today’s topic of cognitive consistency theory which is basically people with high opinions of themselves will think so and those with low opinions will think poorly, leading to low self-confidence. So when insulted, they might think they are being understood and end up trusting them. So back to the meeting, the jerk tries to assert his dominance over his fetish since Iyashi doesn’t check his lists. Though, he is willing to accommodate her so and so. Iyashi blushes even more and does this mean she accepts his answer? Well, she does a German suplex on him! KO! So this is victory to her?

Episode 19
Himeru trying to seduce Ryou? As we all know better by now, she just needs some advice. So they head to the bar to talk but it seems it is that flasher who is running it! So he’s out on bail? There is a rule that if any mistakes is made, the wrongdoer must strip! Yeah, the exhibitionist purposely trying to be clumsy, huh? After Ryou makes him call off that rule, Himeru gets clumsy. What a waste! Anyway, Himeru needs advice on how to make her a woman! Of course we know from her phrasing, it’s something to do with her low self-confidence. Thus today’s topic of enhancing dominant response via visceral arousal. Ryou gives examples of how people psyche themselves up to tasks they think are impossible by starting small. Eventually this gives Himeru motivation to do what she needs to do. She calls the police to arrest the exhibitionist!

Episode 20
If you don’t know what a mental clinic looks like, you’re in luck for this episode. So Ryou explains what to expect and do at a mental clinic. You make an appointment, fill up the forms, talk to the doctor, he prescribes you something if there is a need, you pay and go home. Simple, right? But Asuna beats him up as this is too normal! No jokes at all! What is this anime for then?! Hence the other characters start giving suggestions of an un-normal mental clinic. Wild answers ranging from Spanish donkey chairs to receptionists are topless macho men to having big pills to writing names of illnesses with your butt and a whole bunch of wilder stuffs. This isn’t normal! It’s madness! Yeah, why do they feel so depressed after this? Time to visit a mental clinic…

Laughter The Best Medicine?
So did you get all that? I hope it was educational and enlightening as well as entertaining for you. Because you see for me, if you know me by now, by the time the anime ends, I would have certainly forgotten it all! Yeah I think something is wrong with my brain and better go see a mental clinic! But I don’t think being forgetfulness or absent mindedness is classified as some sort of disease since it is not featured here. So technically I’m still healthy and a-okay! Hooray! I’ve just given myself the clean bill of health! Don’t need to go see a mental clinic. No siree, I’m all fine and dandy. Also, thanks Dr Google! Best free doctor advice available ever! ;p.

The brief topics discussed here are interesting but they are just merely touching the surface and not anything very deep. Just the very basics. It is supposed to bring expose and make one know that there are such mental diseases and studies conducted. If you are of course so ever interested in them, there are a lot of references and materials to delve deeper into the complex mind of men. Yeah, today’s wealth of data and information over internet is so much easier these days. But word of caution, don’t believe everything you see and read on the internet! Especially about Asuna’s advice of quit watching anime and go out to improve your mental health! I may not be that healthy but I’m not THAT stupid!!!!!!!!! Screw that! I am sure that there are many more mental illnesses and psychological topics not covered here but I suppose there is only so much that can be adapted into anime because like I said if you’re further interested and want to know more, might as well go to college and university and earn that degree. That’s the best, right? For the rest of us, we’re just here to be entertained. Say what?!

Because it is like a double edge sword. Sometimes it is hard to take this series seriously and remember them thanks to the dirty jokes and other sexual subtexts the characters make. But if they make it so dry and boring, how are we as casual audience going to stick around? Even if each episode is just 5 minutes? That’s why they have to spam us with lots of fanservice and dirty jokes just to get our attention! Ah yes. That’s how you get us men’s attention. I’m pretty sure that you’ll remember the mental illnesses because of the dirty jokes. Worse, maybe we’ll just remember the dirty jokes and not even remember the discussed topics at all since that is how the punchlines are mainly delivered. Such a shame. We’re all just perverts. We all need to go to the mental clinic!

So it has become some sort of a running joke and a staple of the series that each time Ryou get serious in discussing the problem, it is the dirty minded and twisted thinking Kangoshi sisters who will end up giving some weird examples, the main source of the dirty jokes. Oh yeah, I’m sure we are giggling like innocent little kids upon hearing those sexual subtexts. This means Ryou also plays another role of being the straight man. Uh huh. He has to retort all those dirty jokes with his rebukes, in a way also turning him into some sort of comedian. Looks like we’re not the only ones who need to visit the mental clinic… You know you’re in trouble and screwed when your doctor prefers to tell more jokes than the real diagnosis. Oh yeah. I have a better one. That high bill you charge me for your consultation is really the biggest joke! HAHAHAHA!!! Oops… Can I make a mental clinic appointment?

Ryou seems to be the ‘strongest’ character because of all the mental abuse he has to put up with the Kangoshi sisters. It’s amazing he hasn’t lost his mind yet. I know it’s a cue to make some comebacks and enlighten us with his explanations but if you think about it, he is also a punching bag by the sisters and he can withstand them all and deliver to us his lectures. So do you not agree with me that he is in this terms the strongest character? Both physically and mentally! Yeah, you need to be really strong when you put up with those sisters who aren’t exactly the best nurses in the world. They have their own quirky personalities that ideally will only exist in the fantasies of men. Unlike Asuna, Iyashi and Himeru seem to live up to their names. Because Iyashi is the most perverted of them all while Himeru is the shyest. And maybe Asuna just wants to make jokes out of everything. Oh well, as long as she is happy… Even so, I don’t think the mental clinic will help for them. Might turn out even worse! Still, in the age of gender equality, it’s not fair that these hot babes get a free pass while the men from Ryou to their grandpa always bear the brunt of their twisted jokes! On second thought, maybe we like it this way…

The art and animation are pretty standard, in line with the comedy and edutainment they want to present. Hot nurse babes not good enough for you? Well, I’m a maid fan so yeah… Animated by Shin-Ei Animation who did Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san, Denki-gai No Honya-san and Tonari No Seki-kun. I didn’t expect to recognize any seiyuus here but I did. At least for Shichiro Miki as Ryou and Yoko Hikasa as Iyashi. The others are Yurka Endou as Asuna (Lisa in BanG Dream), Maaya Uchida as Himeru (Rikka in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai) and Kenichi Ogata as grandpa (Gran Torino in Boku No Hero Academia). The ending theme is Karappo Capsule by Maaya Uchida and it is quite fun to listen to this song in addition to watching the mix and match facial swaps of the characters. Pretty interesting combinations…

Overall, this anime is a great edutainment material. Wacky (by that I mean perverted) characters presenting in a fun (and perverted) way the various mental problems with a few creative (AKA perverted) examples that modern society is facing as well as some of the suggested solutions that may help in easing that problem. If you can look past the perverted style (which is meant to be funny for those of you out there who don’t have a touch of humour), this series is quite enjoyable and way much better than so many recent sh*tty animes that on average wasted 24 minutes of our lives! Problems in mental health will not ever go away. So as with raunchy humour, dick jokes, sexual subtexts and ecchi contents. So embrace it all and be happy with your life! That’s why I’m never going to stop watching anime and keep continuing to be glued to my monitors. Anime therapy for life! Anime is my mental clinic! Screw the outdoors and sunshine! Anime is my life! I’m so happy~~~~~~~.

Kanojo Okarishimasu

December 6, 2020

It’s not a new concept. Single loser guys without a girlfriend can actually rent a girlfriend! Well, as long as you have cash to splash, that is. So our loser boy in Kanojo Okarishimasu did just that. He rented a smoking hot sexy beautiful cute girlfriend just to get over his breakup of his smoking hot sexy beautiful cute ex-girlfriend. Wait. What?! He already got a girlfriend?! Albeit just a short time?! But anyway, I guess guys like him need some attention to soothe his broken heart and tada! Rental girlfriend is your answer as long as you can keep up with the price. Mind you, this isn’t entirely compensated dating so it’s totally legal and safe. Sort of. And of course as expected, you would start to deduce that as they put up their fake dating, the real feelings would start to get in the way. Tsk, tsk, tsk. People, please be professional in your job, okay! Imagine if Tinder starts losing business and closed down because people managed to get hooked up for real. Geez…

Episode 1
Before Kazuya Kinoshita could flaunt he has a girlfriend, Mami Nanami, she breaks up with him! BRUTAL! Poor guy is so sad and thoughts of his ex might already be fooling around with a new guy. That is when he saw this app to rent a girlfriend. Oh well, what has he got to lose?! So he meets up with his girlfriend for rent. Damn, Chizuru Mizuhara is one hot babe! Of course, please pay upfront first… This has got to be worth the money… The date goes on well but of course it is awkward for Kazuya. At the end of the day, she sees her put up mocking reviews of their date. This makes him mad that this was all an act. So he’s going to tell it to her tomorrow. Too bad, she’s too cute to be told off. The awkwardness continues as he asks if she even likes this job of dating guys she doesn’t love. Of course she does! Not to mention she gets paid, duh! Kazuya gets more and more depressed as he realizes they are just strangers while Chizuru puts up a more flawless act. Then he just snaps about this professionalism of hers. She takes him away from the public eye and starts scolding him! Well, she’s got a point that she’s just doing her job and that he was the one who agreed to the terms and conditions! Damn, she’s complaining her ratings dropped because of his complaints?!

Suddenly Kazuya gets a call that grandma has collapsed. Though she is hospitalized (for the umpteenth time), it is just a minor faint. Yeah, drama all for nothing. Since Kazuya brought Chizuru along, I guess he introduces to them his girlfriend? They don’t believe! It’s Kazuya they’re talking about! Not until Chizuru says so. Grandma gets lively and wants to be discharged soon to throw a party! Damn, she even gives her permission for them to have sex! When she goes to get her other friends, Chizuru panics because her grandma is also hospitalized here. They have to get out but find themselves hiding in a room. Underneath the sheets. In an ambiguous position. I don’t think this is part of the rental agreement… Eventually they get busted and both their grandmas find out. Before Kazuya could apologize this is all fake, Chizuru puts up another sterling act that they’re dating. Grandmas so happy their families are going to be together. Just the question of marriage day. Later the young ones rest outside, Kazuya apologizes for dragging her into this. Chizuru doesn’t blame him entirely as she kept this job a secret. Kazuya continues to elaborate on his family run business. Grandpa died young and grandma was left to run the sake store alone. She managed to pull through and is considered like a goddess in the family. Since Kazuya is grandma’s boy, he’d like to make her wish come true to get a girlfriend before she dies. He hopes to get a real girlfriend someday. So she slaps him for dragging her in too much? What corny act she talking about? What about herself? Being part of her job makes it okay? As they part, Kazuya is confident he won’t be using this service again. A new start? Hope he doesn’t get traumatized seeing his ex with a new guy now! Hey, he’s a new guy now! Fate sure loves to test him because now that Kazuya has picked himself up, to his surprise Chizuru is also in the same college!

Episode 2
Uhm, she might be a different person… Not! Chizuru pulls him aside and warns him not to tell this to anybody! OR ELSE! Wow. She’s like a totally different person. If that didn’t screw things up even more, Kazuya and Chizuru actually live next to each other!!! Damn, why she blaming him as though it’s like his fault?! You think that is bad enough? Grandma calls and will be over soon! Make sure to bring Chizuru! Kazuya goes to beg Chizuru just to play his girlfriend for a short while and he’ll even pay. However she starts talking about her employment terms and that he should’ve told grandma that they’ve broken up. You’re on your own. Grandma is here. All dressed up. Chizuru going to be late, huh? Kazuya rushes over to beg for help but I guess she’s still not buying it. As Kazuya returns, before he can tell the truth, grandma theorizes that Chizuru broke up with him because after all, what kind of girl could ever handle his sloppiness. Ouch. She isn’t mad at him, though. How could she be mad at a girl who fell for him? Guilt trip ends when Chizuru shows up. She was cooking something for them? Wow. You could see the tears in grandma’s eyes! Her angel has returned! So after a very satisfied grandma leaves, Kazuya tries to hire Chizuru to act as his girlfriend every Wednesday for an hour because that is when he visits grandma. Okay. But she attaches a lot of other terms and conditions too. Yeah, she’s doing it for grandma and not you. Okay. Good enough.

Next day as Kazuya goes to college, he bumps into Mami. But she just says hi boy, bye boy. That’s it. So you still not over her yet? His friends, Yoshiaki Kibe and Shun Kuribayashi tell him to forget her. She’s way out of his league. After Kazuya visits grandma with Chizuru (grandma sure the happiest grandma in the world), they bump into Kibe and Kuribayashi. They are shocked to see him with a hottie so they think Chizuru is some cultist trying to kidnap Kazuya?! Is that an insult? Until Chizuru puts up a flawless act to say she is his girlfriend. Those guys are frozen. Apparently the word girlfriend doesn’t exist in their dictionary… But once they wrap their head around it, they bow before their almighty! Never in Kazuya’s life has he felt so superior! You feeling top of the world now? Because of that, he couldn’t refuse their invitation to a drinking session with their senior. I guess he has to beg to Chizuru to extend rental time and play his girlfriend. Basically, continue the lying. Oh boy, this is going to get weird because in this mixer is also Mami! Oh sh*t. Since everyone knew they dated before, the room is just filled with awkwardness. Could this get any worse? Maybe. Because Mami starts mocking the dumb and bad things Kazuya did when they were dating. Suddenly Chizuru blows her top. She tells Mami off not to talk bad about her boyfriend. Oh God. WW3 gonna happen? But what does Kazuya has to say about that? WTF he just covered for Mami???!!! No wonder Chizuru’s leaving. And Kazuya didn’t go after her? Yeah, what an awkward end. As everybody leaves, Mami comes to talk to Kazuya. Looks like she is a bit drunk so she needs his help to get home. She thanks him for standing up for her and didn’t know he had such a manly side. Say what? Things escalated quickly as she invites him to stop by her place.

Episode 3
You bet Kazuya wants to do that but unfortunately her brother has brought his friends back. Damn. Wasted libido. Because Mami continues to be nice to him, Kazuya seriously wants to get back with her again. Yeah, can’t imagine other guys getting in her pants! However the thought of Chizuru still lingers in his mind. He can’t take the heat and runs straight home. Outside Chizuru’s room, Kazuya feels really bad for all that has happened and confused boy starts crying. Chizuru isn’t a cold hearted demon so gives him some hope that not letting go of Mami shows he still cares a lot for her. But don’t get that hope up too much and try to hug Chizuru! Not appreciated! Kazuya and his friends head to the beach. Surprisingly, it was Mami who suggested for Kazuya and his girlfriend to come. Though of course Chizuru can’t come due to circumstances. Yeah, it’s going to get expensive to extend this rental. And our suspicions confirmed because Mami has this ulterior motive to break up Kazuya and Chizuru. Just look at the yandere face… First, Mami tries to talk to Kazuya and the times they kissed and even they picked a name for their children! Kazuya wants to come clean about Chizuru but what’s this? Chizuru is also here with her friends?! No way! Since she is in her nerdy getup, nobody else recognizes her. Later in the toilet of a convenience store, Kazuya and Chizuru try to straighten things out so Kazuya thinks he can reconcile by thinking Chizuru will get mad if he reconciled with Mami. Boy, did he step on a landmine. Chizuru snaps at him but looks like Mami is looking for him. Kazuya is a bad liar so will Chizuru be discovered? Chizuru then turns up in her girlfriend form. I guess change of plans. She is forced to join the rest as Kazuya piles up more lies about her being from this area. So much so Kazuya runs away? So he wants to cool his head. While swimming near the rocks, Mami pulls him in on pretence to look for he lost bracelet. She loses balance and falls close to him. Before Kazuya could react, she turns around and kisses him.

Episode 4
Damn the kiss is so potent that we see Kazuya’s flashback of being introduced to lovely Mami the first time. He confessed to her and they started dating. Wow. What a lovely couple. They even kissed. End flashback. Mami apologizes that she couldn’t control herself. How does a guy interpret that? So rejoining the rest, after Kazuya gets a call from grandma saying she’ll finally be discharged this week, this is when Kazuya realizes needs to settle the lies. Hence he announces to his friends he is breaking up with Chizuru. After Chizuru sheepishly agrees, it seems Kibe is not happy and punches him! Kibe is upset thinking Kazuya let his dick dictate his love life. The guys start trading punches as Kibe even warns Mami not to lead Kazuya on. After the punch fest ends, Kazuya talks to Chizuru alone. She doesn’t want him to blame Kibe because he doesn’t know the full story. But hey, at least he came clean with the breakup. He can be a man if he tries. A short while later, it is Kibe’s turn to talk to Chizuru. Kazuya spotting them so he eavesdrops of course. This guy not going to ask her out, is he?! Kibe being Kazuya’s childhood friend has been watching him being a loser with life and girls. Such a great friend he is. However Kazuya never gives up as he narrates about the time they were kindergarten kids and the class competed to grow morning glories. Because Kazuya’s looked like a weed, he refused to give up or admit it isn’t a morning glory. He continued watering it until it grew up to be a beautiful hibiscus. He won. Had he gave up on that plant, it wouldn’t have bloomed so beautifully. Kibe thought Kazuya had found the right girl since Chizuru stood up for him at the pub. He hopes to give him another chance. To make this up for them, he hands her tickets for a ferry ride to talk things out. I suppose this has extra rental charges? Kazuya and Chizuru take up Kibe’s offer as they straighten things out over their breakup. Kazuya promising no more rental girlfriends for him and that this will be the last one. After all, Chizuru believes he still has feelings for his ex so might as well get back with her with full force. Speaking of her, Mami calls Kazuya and wants to meet. Well, he’s busy right now so he can’t. But Mami will wait for him. No matter how long it takes. Just then, Chizuru who has been feeling sickly ever since, for some reason she goes to the edge of the ship and because of the rocky waves, she falls off making it look like some suicide! Instantly Kazuya jumps in to rescue her.

Episode 5
Somehow both of them are washed up ashore. Chizuru wakes up first. Kazuya’s lifeless body next to her. Nobody around to help. Okay. Try doing CPR. If the chest one doesn’t work, how about the mouth one? And just like that, the magic kiss wakes up Kazuya. Aren’t we glad they’re still alive? When they are rescued, they get a real good scolding by the rescue guard and their friends. On their way home, Kazuya thinks Mami hates him since he didn’t turn up. After Kibe drops him off, he tells him to keep Chizuru. He believes they are in love with each other. But of course, Kazuya thinks Chizuru feels nothing for him. It’s just money in between. So back in his room, I guess he saw a sexy pic of Mami in his handphone and just like any other guy, he starts jerking off to it!!! Mami… Oh Mami! MY SWEET SEXY MAMI!!!! However thoughts of Chizuru keeps flashing in between his fantasies. I hope that isn’t the feeling of regret at the end of it. To celebrate Kazuya’s grandma’s discharge, the family head to a hotspring resort. It seems Chizuru’s grandma is also there so you bet Kazuya is wary. Since Kazuya is given a different room to stay, he suspects nothing until he realizes it is the same room that Chizuru is also staying. Woah. Chizuru in her yukata. Sexy. In that instant, Chizuru realizes this is a setup so the young ones march down to confront their grannies but they give excuses and the duo have no choice but to continue to be together. Yes, granny even encourages them to have sex! That word isn’t taboo for them. Lots of awkward moment between them in their room. Chizuru tries to forget it all by having fun herself. So she goes to soak in the hotspring but meets Kazuya’s grandma there. They talk about things and Chizuru hints she is not the person she think she is. But grandma will still love her even if she is an alien. But what if a lying alien?! Chizuru returns. She really lets herself loose so Kazuya watches her and feels awkward. Though, she is starting to look quite pretty especially when she laughs normally. Then it’s time for bed. I know. Kazuya has to sleep somewhere, right? But wait. Chizuru wonders why he can’t just sleep here. Wait. SAY WHAT?! Sure she not trolling?!

Episode 6
As you can see, Kazuya’s face is so obviously written that he thinks they’re going to have sex that Chizuru had to beat him up for thinking the obvious. They’re not going to sleep together but separately in the same room. It’ll be troublesome to others if he sleeps in the corridor, right? This is what happens when you let your dick do the thinking. Kazuya can’t sleep so I guess he needs to let out his feelings about being a trash and problematic client. The same ol’ problem about lying and dragging her into stuffs. But since this isn’t the best time to breakup, he hopes he can still rent her for the foreseeable future. She thinks the same too. With that, they let their friends know that they’re dating again. On the way back, it seems Kuribayashi wants to double date as he too has a girlfriend of his own. So he fixes the date and time and Kazuya has no say in it? Oh well. Looks like another job for Chizuru. As they part, Kazuya bumps into a cute girl, Ruka Sarashina. Because he saw her pantsu, she calls him a pervert. When the double date begins, Kazuya recognizes Ruka because she is Kuribayashi’s girlfriend. So today’s double date is indoor rock climbing? Yeah, girls in sexy climbing pose. Stare all you want! Chizuru is flexible while Kazuya is just dropping all the time… During the break, Kazuya learns from Kuribayashi how was a man to snag Ruka as his girlfriend, which is of course a total opposite of what Kazuya did. At the same time, Ruka confronts Chizuru and knows she is a rental girlfriend. Gasp! But how?! So when Chizuru tells this to Kazuya, don’t press the panic button yet. Chizuru is sure she didn’t give herself away. She tries to tell Ruka she misunderstood but Ruka wants prove. If they’re lovers, kissing should not be a problem. Chizuru fakes one by covering over his mouth and using her other hand to block. Ruka is not convinced since she didn’t get a clear view. Kazuya manages to give an excuse that Chizuru needs to visit her grandma so they part ways. Kazuya walks Kuribayashi and Ruka to the train station. After everyone parts, Kazuya can’t allow Ruka to spill the beans so he follows her. However she is waiting for him and this proves that Kazuya is a fake boyfriend.

Episode 7
Trying to get her, he accidentally touches her boobs. Stalking, now sexual harassment? He continues to bug her and even wants her to promise via recording she won’t tell anybody. When she refuses, all that excitement has her tumble downstairs. Kazuya leaps to save her. This looks awfully familiar. But nobody died. Just Kazuya looking like he is hugging Ruka. He then begs despite Chizuru is a rental girlfriend, she is the best girlfriend ever. This has Ruka reveal that she too is a rental girlfriend. Why am I not surprised?! Later Kazuya tells this to Chizuru and she is shocked. Indeed she is but from a different agency. As Ruka still poses a threat in exposing Chizuru’s job, they have to still keep an eye on her. Next day in college, it seems Ruka is here to specifically see Kazuya! And she wants him to hug her?! WTF?! Oh sh*t. Kuribayashi looking for him! Quick hide! Under the table?! I guess she got her hug. Eventually Kuribayashi discovers this. Awkward. However Ruka instantly breaks up with him as his rental girlfriend! Shocker! Poor Kuribayashi, not only his secret is out but he has no more girlfriend. Kazuya returns to tell Chizuru outside her place when Ruka tails him and is complaining both of them are living this close? She makes a promise not to tell anybody as long as Kazuya dates her! Say what?! Here’s your recording proof to go with it. And something about how Kazuya is the one because his hug is the first person who made her exceed 90 beats per minute. Huh?! Ruka continues to rant that if Kazuya cares this much for Chizuru as a rental girlfriend, imagine how much he’ll care for her as his real girlfriend. Well, she’s got a point even if it’s flawed.

Ruka tries to get one up with Chizuru with the sleazy things Kazuya did to her the other day. After all that b*tching, Kazuya manages to have Ruka wait outside while he talks to Chizuru alone. Firstly she asks if he likes Ruka. Don’t know. But seeing how bad he feels for Kuribayashi, he definitely can’t date her. However this would mean she would keep bugging him until he gives in. For now, Kazuya thinks he should tell Kuribayashi his secret too. Both guys will share this secret and this won’t put Chizuru’s job or college life in danger. After all, dating Ruka will not end this nightmare. Kazuya tries to escape but Ruka catches up. Since she is being persistent as usual, Kazuya has to beg and tell her off he actually likes Chizuru and can’t date her because that will be trampling on Kuribayashi’s feelings. Poor Ruka. I guess now all that’s left are tears. She starts crying her heart out, knowing all this too well, promising this and that, even agreeing to give their date a test run. Oh boy. Another round of Chizuru-Kazuya discussion. Might as well date her. After all, Chizuru doesn’t want her job exposed and Ruka did say this is just a trial run. Finally the tears got them together, huh?

Episode 8
Even with Kazuya provisionally dating Ruka, he is still a worrywart since it feels like his relationship with Chizuru means nothing and that it is still in danger of being exposed. Still, he tries to keep his distance with Ruka. Christmas Eve is coming up and Kazuya notices Chizuru’s rental schedule is fully book. Wow. Such a popular rental girlfriend. A loser like him is going to be alone on Christmas Eve. I’m sure he isn’t thinking about Ruka. On the streets, he spots Chizuru meeting up with a hot guy. At first he thought he is just one of her clients. Then it occurred to him that could it be her real boyfriend? Oh sh*t. They look pretty close together and could be more than just acting. Time to go into stalking mode. Try not to make it look so obvious, huh? So his name is Umi, huh? As he stalks them, his mind starts to wander further into the darkness. To a point where he thinks they may even have sexual relations. In the toilet while reflecting on his own loser life, here comes Umi. Try not to panic. However Kazuya hears him talking on the phone to someone about Chizuru. What’s this about checking her out? And her measurements? Something shady is going on. Thinking he is really a bad guy, Kazuya is going to draw out the power of his imaginary Chizuru (loser) fan club bros to stop this. Yeah. Just when he spots Umi about to kiss Chizuru, he trips and exposes himself. Whoops. Hi. So it wasn’t a kiss. Umi was just adjusting her earring. The more Kazuya speaks, the more he exposes himself as a stalker. Looks like everybody confused and not on the same page. So here’s the truth. Chizuru is an actress wannabe. Umi goes to the same acting school with her and a fellow actor. Since today is his only free day, she thought he could help her out on a script. As acting school costs a lot, it’s a reason why she works part time as a rental girlfriend. Yeah, that job really pays thanks to simps. Anyway, Umi was on the phone recommending a director about Chizuru. And yeah, Kazuya misunderstood everything. He feels bad and stupid. Worst Christmas ever. But all is not loss as Chizuru bought a Christmas present and is actually for him. It’s also her apology for making him get stuck in that Ruka deal. Kazuya so happy that he cries in public. Everyone thinks he got dumped… But no great ending tonight. She tells him to go home himself. Merry Christmas.

Episode 9
Kazuya is pretty happy Chizuru bought him a handphone case. Now, before his head can go into the clouds and think of himself as someone special to her, he realizes there are many of her clients who feel the same. And of course Chizuru herself clearing the air that it is part of the deal that girlfriends buy their boyfriends stuff, right? And when she asks if he has fallen for her, he sheepishly replies nope. See what she means? Since Ruka was ignore last episode, I suppose she is back with a vengeance to bug Kazuya for a date. If that’s not enough, she brings him to a love hotel! Oh sh*t! Kazuya trying to run away! Trolling us with sex, what Ruka wants is to hear the truth about him and Chizuru. Learning about the lie they have to keep up for grandma, Ruka believes he should just do away with Chizuru and introduce her as his real girlfriend. Simple, right? Apparently he can’t, citing grandma likes Chizuru a lot. Ruka then asks if he can have sex with Chizuru. Can’t, right? But Ruka is willing to go all the way as she is thinking about long term. So that’s why this love hotel thingy? Kazuya excuses himself to the toilet but after he comes out, Ruka is gone. Saved?

Chizuru meets up with Kazuya and his family for New Year. Could have been a pretty normal outing had not Ruka showed up! How she know?! Well, she saw a message in Kazuya’s phone. As Kazuya tries to lie about Ruka being Chizuru’s friend, Ruka makes it more complicated by announcing she is Kazuya’s girlfriend! Many times! OH SH*T! You bet grandma is going to talk to Kazuya in private. OH SH*T!!! She thinks grandson is cheating on Chizuru so Kazuya had to further lie that Ruka is a pathological liar. Meanwhile Chizuru and Ruka face off as the latter claims their lying only complicates things. Furthermore, she accuses of Chizuru of falling in love with Kazuya. That’s the reason why she can’t just walk off this rental girlfriend thingy. As they have lunch, Ruka being the only one very chirpy soon realizes something strange and goes to talk to Kazuya alone. Indeed everyone was just putting up a happy face and of course Ruka isn’t too happy learning that he told grandma she’s a liar. She is getting too close to comfort but saved again this time for the visit to the shrine. But soon Kazuya and Chizuru realize Ruka and grandma are missing. Oh dear. Better find them or this whole deal is off. Indeed Ruka confronts grandma and wants to tell the whole truth. But as she tries summoning her courage, grandma then asks Ruka all about Chizuru’s likes and habits. The way she puts Chizuru on a pedestal has Ruka realizes that grandma is really into Chizuru. Luckily Chizuru is here so they have to put this chat off to another day. So while the secret is safe for now, later Kazuya goes to apologize to Ruka about the lie but also thank her for not spilling the beans. Ruka asserts that she will not give up on him and one day grandma will accept her as his real girlfriend. More woes for Kazuya because the karaoke joint he is working at, Ruka just joined in too.

Episode 10
So this place is Chizuru-free and she can be with him all she wants? Kazuya isn’t too pleased so she’s using her womanly charms to get the manager to dock his pay if he gets ‘violent’?! When Kibe and co visit the place, Kibe talks to Kazuya about Kuribayashi. This guy is acting very strange. Any ideas? You bet Kazuya knows what’s happening. So Kazuya talks to Ruka about Kuribayashi. Too bad this is old news to her and doesn’t care. Besides, she has also stopped doing this rental dating ever since she started dating him. After Kazuya gets his first pay, he starts fantasizing about spending it all on Chizuru. However Kuribayashi pops up on his mind. Oh well… Then he calls Chizuru and needs a favour. Kuribayashi is forced to wait and meet Kazuya. As he rues his embarrassing pathetic life, all of a sudden, Chizuru is here to take him on a date?! She reveals herself as a rental girlfriend. Kuribayashi is shocked and sceptical but a little Google reveals the truth. So as they go around having fun on their date, Kuribayashi’s mind is filled with conflict and dilemma. Is this Kazuya’s way of cheering him up? Later, Kuribayashi catches Kazuya spying on them. I hope he wasn’t spying the whole day. Anyway, it is perfect chance for the guys to talk it out. They laugh and argue like best friends should. In the end, Kuribayashi understands why Chizuru is at the top of her game because she was never nervous and it made him forget all the embarrassment he had and they just had fun. Kazuya leaves for them to resume their date. Kuribayashi then asks if Chizuru would really fall for a client. Chizuru then thinks back when Kazuya asked her for a favour to date Kuribayashi. His reason for this request is so that they both have some sort of shared secret. I mean, this will be exposed one day. So might as well consider this a trial run. After all, this is to show that Chizuru doesn’t belong to anyone in particular. Chizuru leaves Kuribayashi hanging without an answer. You know Kuribayashi is back by the way he replies his messages now. Kazuya then panics when Chizuru wants to meet up. Cool it. It’s just outside their balcony. Yeah, he really dresses up for the occasion. So she’s asking him a favour this time for a rental girlfriend colleague, Sumi Sakurasawa who is so shy that she is receiving complaints from customers. Knowing his style, she knows Kazuya is a safe bet to ‘train’ her. Of course she also asks about Mami whom they haven’t been in contact since the beach incident. Since Kazuya did promise Mami this and that, just forgetting her won’t be easy. That’s why Chizuru assures she’ll be here until he does.

Episode 11
We see the daily life of Sumi. Quite the clumsy girl… As a newbie in this rental girlfriend business, she looks up to Chizuru who is as cool as a cat. Kazuya meets up with Sumi and her cuteness is right up his alley?! Don’t tell me he wants her too?! Judging by Sumi’s very shy personality, he knows she isn’t fit for this job. But promising Chizuru, I guess he has to make this work. Yeah, nothing like an icebreaker by taking her bowling? Punks try to hit on Sumi so Kazuya thinks of waiting this this passes?! WTF?! Of course that didn’t happen as he summons his courage to take her away while the punks badmouth this wuss. For the first time, Sumi ekes out a thank you, the first voice and line he hears from her. Then they have a few more outings together but Sumi’s the same shy girl. Before they could get on to the next, oh look, it’s Mami! Actually she’s been tailing them since she spotted them at the start of it all! Kazuya knows he is in sh*t. He can’t let Mami know she is a rental girlfriend or Sumi is his girlfriend. Maybe he’ll lie that she is his childhood friend. For once, Sumi tries to be assertive and cling on to Kazuya! I admit her guts but wrong timing!!! Kazuya in more sh*t! But Mami wants to talk with Kazuya alone. So is it time for him to die? Apparently Mami notes how he has changed ever since they’ve broke up. It’s now he’s a ladies man. Don’t worry, she’ll keep this a secret. Can we trust her on that?! Kazuya and Sumi end their ‘training’ with Sumi thanking him and the best smile ever she’s put up for the day. Mami is back home and she is obviously very sore. Why is she so f*cking fixated on Kazuya? Then she tries to look up on Sumi on the internet. Hmm… What’s this rental girlfriend thingy… Oh no… That night, Kazuya is happy thinking Chizuru wants to talk to him. However she tells him she has been thinking of quitting this rental girlfriend business as she might get more acting roles. She wants his opinion. He plays it cool in supporting her but his shaky voice tells otherwise. Of course since this won’t be immediate, she assures she’ll be his girlfriend till that time comes. Kazuya puts on a sad face. He knew this would eventually come. The time to break grandma’s heart. However the problem is that he needs to tell Chizuru that she is the one whom he really wants. Next morning, Chizuru waits for another date client. Guess what? That client turns out to be Mami! Oh sh*t…

Episode 12
I guess Kazuya is free so he goes on a date with Ruka. She knows he still likes Chizuru but that’s why she’s doing all this so she wants him to fall in love with her for real. At this point, this makes Kazuya ask himself why Ruka isn’t good enough for him. Yeah, why Kazuya, WHY?! Hence the need to stop using Chizuru. That’s right. He is going to make it official to Ruka when he spots Mami and Chizuru entering a karaoke room. OH SH*T! Chizuru is not in the mood but Mami clearly wants her to sing. Kazuya fears the rental girlfriend gig is busted. Put your ears closer, maybe you’ll eavesdrop on what they say… Of all the things said, the important one being Mami doesn’t care about her rental girlfriend job but wants to stop fake dating Kazuya. She’s the reason he can’t get a girlfriend. Also, her fake smile pisses her off. There’s your signal for the start of a b*tch fight. The duo then leave to go talk somewhere else. Kazuya fakes he is sick so manager quickly sends him home! He tails the girls talking on the overhead bridge. This time Chizuru questioning Mami if she likes Kazuya as she points out some of the things Kazuya said that he still loves her. But Mami throws the same question back at her. I mean, it’s been a year they’ve been ‘dating’ and there’s a chance she might fall in love with him, right? Chizuru dodges the question by saying she is his boyfriend. Mami ends the conversation but Chizuru obviously isn’t done. She has realized this job made her realize how hard falling in love is. Has Mami ever tried to consider Kazuya’s feelings? However Mami tells her to f*ck off because that’s none of her business. And with that, the conversation is truly over. Oh Kazuya, you heard all that? You must be crying a river now. When Chizuru returns home, Kazuya is waiting outside. He reveals he heard her conversation with Mami and apologizes for speaking up for him. But she too has to apologize to him. Whatever she says, I guess he’s not listening because he is sizing up how Chizuru is the one for him. So he confesses that he wants her. Unfortunately he chickens out and meant that as his rental girlfriend. Wuss. Chizuru is of course annoyed and reminds him of her acting career and that this rental girlfriend isn’t going to be forever. Kazuya retreats to his room, realizing that Chizuru’s support for him ignited his love for her. But since she isn’t into him, there is a chance she’ll go away and he’ll never see her again. So what’s it going to be? Hey, it’s your own fault for setting your own love life to hard mode! I say, extreme mode!

Girlfriend (Beta): Koi To Uso
Well, if the last episode didn’t really resolve anything, that’s because there is going to be another season! Oh yeah. And you thought the finale was just warming up to the b*tch fight showdown between Chizuru and Mami but I guess we’ll have next season to look forward to when things get more intense and messy. All because some guy didn’t have the balls to decide on what he wants and even if he did, he didn’t have the more balls to go get it himself. That’s why we couldn’t resolve things in 1 episode and instead we need to have another. Jesus. I know love isn’t easy but this guy sure made it harder. At this point I’m sure Kazuya wants to sing Haddaway’s What Is Love. Oh yeah. Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…

Honestly, the story isn’t anything special. Pathetic main character just wants to selfishly feel good about himself so he rents a girlfriend to also show off and assure others that he has also somewhat ‘succeeded’ in life. Not like this is a good plot to begin with. So I suppose the ‘fun’ part is seeing the deeper the grave he digs and sh*t hole he is slowly sinking into the more lies he piles onto this charade. All this under the guise of a romantic comedy, I guess. So either you enjoy this or you would cringe every time Kazuya and his partner in crime, Chizuru do this sh*t day in and day out every episode. And we all know too well that along the way, some romance and true feelings are going to bloom along the way because why not? It’s just the classic ingredient that is very much needed for genres like this. We all just want to scream to them especially Kazuya to tell the truth. Because the truth will set you free! To a certain extent. But once that happens, I guess that is where the ‘fun’ ends. So don’t blame this series’ story for being sh*tty. Blame ourselves too for being sadistic dick heads who want to be entertained by such shenanigans.

Aside the story, the characters aren’t really that interesting either and each has their own quirky habits to spice things up. So like Kazuya as the main character, we already know how pathetic he is and there is nothing else more to say about him. When your grandma doesn’t even have high hopes of you, you’re in serious trouble. So it’s like he needs to help enhance his image with a cool girlfriend to give her some peace of mind before she dies. But then more sh*t piles up and the only way out of this if grandma suddenly dies. Yeah, sad but that’s the only way this selfish bastard is going to get out of this problem if he is too chicken to tell the truth. But if you know grandma, she is a sturdy person and she’s not going to kick the bucket just like that. I mean, see how many times she checked in and out of the hospital?! She’s the perennial guest there! I don’t think grandma is a stupid person. I have a hunch she knows what might be going on but she just doesn’t want to heartbreak Kazuya. After all, he went out his way to put up this farce, might as well play along. Kazuya wants grandma to be happy, grandma wants her grandson to be happy. So if everybody happy-happy, isn’t it win-win?

I’m sure Chizuru being the hot and cute girlfriend, many would get jealous to think she is wasted on Kazuya. In some ways it would. But my veteran romance anime guts tell me that she too has a soft spot for him. Because otherwise, she continuing to pretend with this gig other than Kazuya always begging and pleading for her help. She doesn’t need to go out her way to do all this but I guess this transcends being professional. After all, it’s all part and parcel of her practice to become an actress. If she can pull this one off, she’ll definitely hit the big time in Hollywood and might win the Oscars! Just kidding. Well, as long as Kazuya is paying, I guess she has no qualms about playing his perfect girlfriend. Yeah, Kazuya really has deep pockets and could’ve put that money to better use. Instead, he did this. So do you not see that Kazuya is the series’ biggest simp?! I thought that we would see how much Kazuya spends on his rental girlfriend as the end of the opening credits show his receipt. Too bad it is just static at 12,000 yen. With taxes. Is that pretty cheap? Well, minus all the other hidden expenses not listed and I’m sure your wallet will be drained faster than the floodwaters…

The other mind boggling thing is this rental girlfriend concept. You see, with Chizuru being the most famous and popular rental girlfriend, it just boggles my mind about all the previous losers that she dated. Whenever Chizuru is dating somebody, she is bound to turn heads. This is evident when you see the crowd being awed who that lucky guy is having such a cute girlfriend. So this begs the question, what happened to the other guys she dated? Wouldn’t it be odd to find that those guys once had a hot girlfriend? And now she’s gone. And now she’s with another guy! I don’t know how many guys she dated on this concept but I guess all were never the type like Kazuya who wants to upgrade their rental girlfriend status to real girlfriend status. Maybe they do. But Chizuru wasn’t interested. Because they lack the ‘charm’ like Mr Kazuya and they might be fat sleazy otaku losers. Hey, when you’re in this line of business, you meet all sorts of scumbags.

At this point, Chizuru would have been ‘famous’ since those guys she dated would recognize her. It’s not like she moved to another town, right? It’s a small world. So such luck Chizuru has never bumped into any or those guys decide to keep quiet because they don’t want to know they rented a girlfriend, which doesn’t make sense because some might show it off to their friends or family so there would be others who know about Chizuru. Funnily, nobody looks up Chizuru on the internet like her social media websites and it feels like a weak reason why nobody suspects her she is from a rental girlfriend agency. Anyway, it is just mind boggling that Chizuru is the top agent and that nobody else knows about her. But on second thought, imagine if you’re dating a fairly famous porn star… I mean, how many of us look up and know about porn stars, right???!!! And to further ponder about this, it is even more mind boggling that Chizuru is doing this rental girlfriend thingy to cover her acting school fees. That’s just one step below to other unfortunate girls who entered porn for the money… Yeah… See how shadily similar this is?! I bet being a rental girlfriend nets her more money than her real acting career…

But also imagine the moment when Chizuru decides to actually settle down. Find a real boyfriend whom she can marry and settle down. Imagine what her boyfriend would think of as her past as a rental girlfriend. Break off right now! Sure, she can keep it a secret for her but that is going to be a tough one seeing trust is going to play an important factor between spouses. So her only chance is Kazuya, right? So unless there is a great guy out there who don’t care all the past guys she dated (maybe Kazuya), then it’s good for her. Or else this rental girlfriend agency literally ruins a girl’s future for marriage. Just like porn stars. Hope the money was worth it.

If the Kazuya x Chizuru charade wasn’t enough, time to throw in more hijinks because here is Ruka-chan! It seems like a weak reason for her to like Kazuya because this dude managed to set her palpitations to some record high. I don’t know, theoretically if there is someone else out there who could score higher, would she dump him? So Ruka is relegated to play the persistent and bugging girlfriend who really wants to be Kazuya’s girl. Of course problem could be solved if Kazuya had really gone with her (which he almost did but fate decided to play another cruel joke and show him the middle finger to carry on this farce) but we know the reason why he doesn’t is because his number 1 choice is Chizuru. Can’t blame him. She’s been there for him thick and thin.

So suddenly this Ruka pops up in his life and genuinely wants to be his girl, damn, this should have ended his girlfriend problem had he gone with her! But instead, Kazuya prolonged the mess and now we’ve officially got a harem so to speak. I feel sad for Ruka because even though I’m not a fan of her character, I really want to root for her to be Kazuya’s girlfriend. She has got the balls to try and be assertive especially during that surprise meet up with Kazuya’s family. Confusing and scandalous but it’s a pretty bold move that no one could have foreseen coming. She deserves some credit there. But instead that loser is waiting and hoping Chizuru would slowly look his way. Poor Ruka. I can see the looks on her face now when she eventually loses out to Chizuru…

Obviously the whole mess is partly because of Kazuya being indecisive and can’t decide which babe to f*ck date. Summary of chronological events: Dated Mami; Gets dumped; Hires Chizuru; Mami comes back into picture; Wants to cut off Chizuru because want Mami, Changes mind, sticks with Chizuru; Ruka comes into picture; Still has Chizuru on his mind, still wants Chizuru; Continues dating Ruka; Slight distraction, might want Sumi; Forget that, now wants Ruka; Hold that, changes mind, wants Chizuru now. Sighs… See where this is going? Yup. Nowhere. I hope this won’t end up in a harem route where he tried to get all but loses all! Then all of us will be laughing in his face he deserves it!

And then there’s this character whom we all love to hate: Mami. Ah yes. I think this girl gets her kicks dating losers like Kazuya and then dumping them afterwards. And then of course Kazuya being the special one, Mami starts to feel jilted because after being dumped, it’s like he upgraded to an even hotter girlfriend! B*tch jealousy arising! See her dead eyes, a sign that she’s in f*cking killer mode! One wrong move and you might be dead! I feel that her role in this series is so underwhelming that it doesn’t really matter. I don’t know, I was expecting some b*tch showdown between Chizuru and Mami and although it somewhat did happen in the final episode, it was just a very mild one. Like as though this is a preview before it blows up 1000% next season. If that actually happens.

After that beach episode which was really tempting and a sign that Mami might be back in his life again but after that ended, she went missing for a while. Like as though they forgot about her. I was also expecting that she would start to regain her love for Kazuya and a b*tch fight over him would happen. So much so that the feelings of her heart would be so overwhelming that she would break down in front of Kazuya and other people, begging him for a second chance for them to get back together again. Heh. Full drama on public display. That didn’t turn out either. What a bummer. At this point it is unclear if Mami likes Kazuya because she doesn’t make that clear to Chizuru. If Mami wanted to wrest Kazuya back from her, she could just say so and end this rental girlfriend charade. But she didn’t. So could Mami just be wanting to use Kazuya as a tool against whatever grudges she had against Chizuru? No wonder the most hated character of the season. So can we have Kazuya’s first b*tch girlfriend vs Ruka the real girlfriend getting into a catfight and Chizuru somewhat getting embroiled in this high stakes battle over a loser. Damn, this doesn’t sound funny anymore.

Not sure if Mami is a hypocrite because in the final scene, we see her with an older man. My first guess it might be her father but seeing what kind of anime this is, it might be her sugar daddy. Woah! So to tell Chizuru to stop dating Kazuya with the lame excuse he can’t get a girlfriend, I mean it’s not like Mami herself said she wants Kazuya back, right? So if that guy is Mami’s sugar daddy, it just makes her character a whole lot more hateful. Rental girlfriend, compensated dating, sugar daddies… No matter how you look at it, they’re just girls good at acting in exchange for your money, right???!!!

Last but not least, Sumi. This girl appeared in the opening and ending credits and at the pace of where this anime is heading, it is natural that one would wonder when the f*ck this final girl would actually show up! And only in the penultimate episode did she do so! Man, that’s already 5/6 of the season gone! Did they forget her or something? Or they couldn’t find the right plot moment to slot her in? So from her debut in the penultimate episode (which is by the way her only episode she really made a real appearance), Sumi feels pretty much like a filler. A character that doesn’t really matter at this point. If she didn’t appear, it wouldn’t have made a difference either. But I suppose it is to lead to the final episode of Chizuru-Mami showdown. Because had Kazuya been on a date with Ruka, this girl would be more confronting compared to Sumi who is just freaking meek in nature. Yeah, Mami-Ruka confrontation would’ve been explosive and WW3 would be right at our doorstep! So with Sumi, this sets the tone for Mami to stumble upon Chizuru’s real identity. Back to Sumi, her extreme shyness might not be ideal but I guess there are some guys out there who dig such overly timid chicks.

Last but not least, Kibe as Kazuya’s best friend. He may not look like it but he certainly does look out for him and giving him timely advice when Kazuya seemingly is going to throw it all away. He could be the best character in the series because of this but too bad Kazuya is the one who is the main character. Despite both guys (along with Kuribayashi), they all look like your typical loser bros who won’t get laid by any chicks soon. Sometimes being virgin bros is better than having girlfriends but you know, when you use the wrong head to think, you ruin that relationship too. So thankfully the trio are still friends.

Art and animation are pretty okay. Everything is bright and colourful and my favourite eye candy is of course the cute girls. Yeah, you should all know by now how I am a sucker for cute girls. So that is one of the pulling factor that made me watch this series. And they really ramp up the cuteness of the girls during close up scenes. Wow. See how their big cute puppy eyes sparkle! Animated by TMS Entertainment who did Dr Stone, Detective Conan, D.Gray Man, Itazura Na Kiss, Kamisama Hajimemashita, Yowamushi Pedal, Baki and the new season of Fruits Basket.

Voice acting is pretty decent. I only recognized Sora Amamiya as Chizuru, Aoi Yuuki as Mami and Nao Touyama as Ruka. The rest of the other casts are Shun Horie as Kazuya (Enta in Sarazanmai), Rie Takahashi as Sumi (Mash in Fate/Grand Order), Yukari Nozawa as Kazuya’s grandma, Kaito Ishikawa as Umi (Iida in Boku No Hero Academia), Masayuki Akasaka as Kibe and Gakuto Kajiwara as Kuribayashi (Asta in Black Clover). The opening theme, Centimeter by The Peggies is your generic anime pop. Nothing special that I like. For the ending theme, Kokuhaku Bungee Jump by Halca feels more like a denpa song. Not that I like it anyway either. She also sings the special ending for episode 7, First Drop. A rock outfit. Not really to my liking too.

Overall, this series is cute but if you try to think of it as a romantic comedy, it gets messy. Even the concept of renting a girlfriend is a very shady concept. I mean, it’s like prostitution but without the sex. Thank goodness this is a light hearted anime, eh? Sure, it has its funny moments but nothing that extraordinary. Because what kind of hot girls would actually want to date a loser? Does not happen in the real world. This anime is so clickbait, giving us otaku loser guys some sort of hope but eventually reality will hit us hard. Why settle for those 3D women for temporary passion of the flesh when we have our 2D girls who has always been eternally there for us! I want to rent a 2D girlfriend online! Which site can I go to for this?! Oh… Oh… What’s this… Error 404: Girlfriend not found… FFFFUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

Maou Gakuin No Futekigousha

December 5, 2020

Don’t we all just hate main characters who are overpowered from the start? Oh yeah? What if the main character himself is the Demon King? So don’t start complaining if he is just freaking overpowered all you haters! He can do just about anything with the snap of his fingers. Uh huh. But Maou Gakuin No Futekigousha: Shijou Saikyou No Maou No Shiso, Tensei Shite Shison-tachi No Gakkou E is not an isekai anime. I repeat, it is NOT an isekai anime. The great Demon King of this series sacrificed himself so that his brethren and enemies could live in peace and not prolong the miseries of war. But after 2000 years has past and he has been reincarnated into the world again, he finds the world has changed a lot. Furthermore, history as preached in the current times is not as what he remembered back then. And what’s this about that despite still being the most powerful badass in the land, the aptitude test of the high school he enrols in, rates him as inept?! What’s going on?! Some descendants are going to need a good whooping on their asses.

Episode 1
Anos Voldigoad and Misha Necron enter the Demon King Academy to take their enrolment exam. Zepes Indu mocks them because they aren’t of royal blood so Anos without sweat makes him submit. The first test is a battle whereby the winner advances. Anos is faced off with Zepes who remains cocky. Zepes is insulted when Anos claims he can defeat him by not using any magic of move. Zepes takes damage when Anos attacks just by using his heartbeat?! Zepes claims he is one who use compulsion magic to make others bend to his will. Hence Anos makes a contact to make him submit without using such magic. This means killing Zepes and resurrect him over and over again until this guy is scared sh*t that he gives up! Anos and Misha continue their tests and one of them is the power assessment. Anos’ power so great that it measures zero and the crystal breaks! Then there’s the history test in which Anos passes with ease. All too easy. At the end of the day, both of them passed. Anos invites Misha to his home because his parents will surely prepare a celebratory meal for him. We learn that Anos was just born a month ago?! Mother so happy he brought back a girl. So what does Misha see in Anos? His kindness?

Later as Anos accompanies Misha back, he is amused she called him kind hearted as no one ever told him that before. In fact, he was always being told his existence brings misery to everyone. Misha thought he is being bullied and pats his head. Suddenly they are surrounded by Leorg (Zepes’ older brother) and his men. Looks like he wants to teach Anos a lesson not because he defeated his brother but rather only pureblood royals like them can inherit some nobility crap. Leorg kills off Zepes for being useless. You think Leorg’s magic can defeat Anos? Well, no effect on him. Not even the forbidden magic. Anos then resurrects Zepes as a zombie to attack Leorg. But his intention is for the brothers to remember their bond so that they could fight against him. Of course Leorg has his pride and won’t. Until in the dying moments he finally calls out his brother’s name. But because of their weak bond, both become zombies? After Anos returns them back to normal, he reveals himself (and to those who haven’t figured it out yet) that he is the true Demon King of Tyranny. Behold descendants! Your original founder has returned! Next day as he steps into class and makes a joke how he is taking over and will massacre everyone who doesn’t obey him, nobody is laughing. Scared? Nope. So is everyone staring at him because of him beating down those brothers? Misha points out it is rather the rumour of the symbol he got after the power assessment. As the symbol is never seen before in the academy that indicates he is a misfit.

Episode 2
2000 years ago when the hero Kanon finally faced off with Anos, the latter suggests peace. Hard to believe but Anos is tired of it all. This war between their race as well as others like gods and spirits will never end until one side is entirely rooted out. Even if demons are gone, humans will just make new enemies. If Kanon believes in the goodness of the human heart, then why not trust him this once? Anos’ plan is to use up all his magic to convert himself into a wall that would last a thousand years. Don’t worry, he’ll reincarnate 2000 years later. Kanon agrees to end this war and ‘kills’ Anon for the sake of peace. And as Anos reincarnates 2000 years later, boy he sure shocked his parents by talking as he came out of the womb! Now, Misha explains he is labelled a misfit because he answered several questions wrongly during the aptitude test. How could this be? He is the founder and knows history perfectly. Then he discovers that what everyone believes the name of the founder is Avos Dilhevia. Who the f*ck is that?! Looks like history got distorted along the way and this means other parts of the history are also twisted as well. Emilia Ludowell is the homeroom teacher for this class as she announces volunteers for team leaders. Because Anos is a hybrid, he is discouraged but of course he begs to differ. Since he manages to tweak some magic circle to be more efficient, he earns that right. The other candidate is Sasha Necron who is Misha’s sister. Obviously everyone joins Sasha’s team and only Misha remains on Anos’ side. I guess he is friendlier. Sasha tries to put Misha down as she tells Anos that she is not even a demon or human but a magic doll. But Anos doesn’t care and even tells her to look deeper. Irked, Sasha tries to intimidate him with her destructive eyes but his eyes negate the effect. With the upcoming team tournament, Sasha throws a bet that if she wins, Anos will be her slave. Otherwise she’ll join his team. Okay. Since we all know how this is going to turn out, right?

So as the tournament begins, we see Anos just waltzing into enemy territory himself. They think they can outdo him but apparently they don’t know his strength. Yeah, he tosses up their huge fortress and throws it like baseball! Sasha then wants everyone to use the ultimate fire cannon. They have to acknowledge the enemy’s strength and even if this power has very small chance of success, they will not allow this shame on them. And despite their great efforts, Anos just cancels it out with the weakest fire magic! Naturally, Sasha’s team loses. So she rather be killed than live this humiliation? Don’t forget your promise. Okay, she’ll join his team. It seems Anos not only did this so that Misha can be with her but also he likes her beautiful eyes. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Anos then brings the sisters back home and you bet his parents are going to be as dramatic as ever about him being a playboy. That’s their little boy. So grown up now! After Anos sends the sisters home, Sasha talks to him privately to thank him because she was able to make up with Misha. She asks his advice about changing a sealed fate. For him? He’ll just destroy it! Hey, remember nobody is a Demon King as powerful as you! We perhaps didn’t see this one coming so fast too because Sasha kisses Anos on the lips! Kiss between friends as thanks, huh? Then I suppose Anos must be her first friend since this is her first kiss.

Episode 3
The sisters are so good with each other that they can ask if they like Anos. Misha is direct saying she likes him. Sasha, not so. More tsundere. Next day, Misha asks Anos’ advice on what to give for Sasha’s birthday which is tomorrow. Because they are twins, Misha also shares the same birthday but she doesn’t want anything herself. Anos learns the class will be taught by one of the Seven Elder Demon Emperors, Ivis Necron. Anos remembers using his blood to create such 7 beings but everything else from there doesn’t seem to match up. As one of their goals is to revive the Demon Lord, hence the establishment of this academy. When Ivis enters, Anos casually talks to him like as though they’re good friends. This shocks everyone as this is seen as insulting and rude. Anos asks if he remembers him but unfortunately he has no recollection of what happened 2000 years ago. When Anos tries to let him see those memories, he soon backs down and they’ll talk about this later. Ivis was sent back 2000 years ago, however it looks like his memories just like others, their Demon King of Tyranny is Avos. Somebody must have rewritten history and there could be a chance that someone is passing off as the Demon King. Because Anos has no proof that he is a threat, Ivis will remain neutral on this stance for now.

Next day, there is this dungeon raiding exam in which teams can collect points depending on the magic tools, items, etc they collect. Anos knows that a sceptre deep within the dungeon will definitely earn them full points despite many believe it is only rumours. Well, this is his castle! Anos leads the ladies through secret passageways that he has clearly hid until they reach the room with the sceptre. While Sasha is in awe over it, Anos takes Misha to another treasure room so she could select a gift for her sister. She chooses a Phoenix Robe. As Anos insists, Misha chooses a ring for herself. Misha gives the robe to Sasha and this makes her a happy sister. However shortly after, Sasha stabs her! Sasha reveals her true colours that she was just acting all along and all this was so that she could ensure herself first place in this exam. Anos is bewildered because if she really wanted to kill Misha, would just a stab suffice? I mean, she would have chopped her body into parts and scatter them all over the world at least. Sasha continues to scream out her hatred over this magic doll and sets magic traps enough for herself to escape. But Anos immediately catches her. In fact, Anos started healing Misha the moment she got stabbed and everything Sasha saw was just an illusion he casted. He explains about noticing her demonic eyes and how she was just putting up a very coolheaded acting on the spot. Only because of Misha’s kindness, she wants Anos to let Sasha go. And so he does. He needs to ask Misha some questions too. Normally she won’t say but will tell him because he is her friend. It seem on the midnight of her 15th birthday, she will disappear. Not because she is a magic doll but rather she never existed in this world in the first place.

Episode 4
More explanations about Sasha’s soul being split into 2 during birth but I don’t really get it. It seems all this was part of Ivis’ plan since 2000 years ago so when both sisters merge, they will create some super demon race. Of course Anos won’t let this happen so they catch up with Sasha to make her spill the truth. So we hear from her side that thanks to Misha, Sasha was able to go outside and have a normal life. But in exchange, Misha became lonely. Thanks to that, she thinks 15 years of her life has been enough so Sasha will do some spell that will make Misha the original. That is why she has been making Misha hate her all this time. Because the only way for this to work is if Misha rejects her. Of course by now you think Misha want that? So instead of saving either one of them, Anos will save both of them! Remember, he is the Demon Lord. So what I understand is that he is going to send them back in time and change the past by allowing 2 sources instead of 1. All they need to do is to 100% believe in him and not that Avos fake pretender. Before he could do that, Ivis pops up to kill him so as not to disrupt his plan. By now you think that will kill Anos? Not a chance. Anos kills Ivis instead. As they go back in time, they are now faced with the Guardian God of Time, Eugo La Raviaz. He finds it a sin for them to change the past so he revives Ivis and gives some of his power to kill Anos. Gee, why not kill Anos himself? I think I know why… So we see a revived and more powerful Ivis trying to kill Anos but your guess is as good as mine, Anos always revives. Yeah, killing him isn’t enough to make him die! So with the sisters now truly believing 100% in Anos, they manage to change the pass and this allows Anos to power and take on Ivis. With his demonic sword of destruction, he slashes Ivis for good. Ivis is then revived but he is now the true submissive subordinate of Anos. Unfortunately, most of his memories are still gone and it is most likely someone murdered him, his source fused and taken over. That perpetrator may be working for Avos and took over his body then. Anos will report Ivis’ death and he wants Ivis to investigate this, starting with the Seven Elder Demon Emperors. Anos and the sisters return to normal time. Both sisters now existing on their own in current time and are thankful for their Demon Lord saviour. Until Anos decides to get cheeky and reminds Sasha about that kiss she gave him. A friendly kiss you say, huh?

Episode 5
2000 years ago, Anos had a very good swordsman subordinate, Shin Regalia. His wish was to reincarnate in the future with him. However, because his source magic was weak, this would mean he will not be able to transfer his memories and skills to his new vessel. I suppose that intro is necessary because Emilia announces a new transfer student of royal blood to be joining them later. As for the dungeon test, she announces Anos’ team will not get full marks because the sceptre has been stolen and pending investigation. Some students think Anos is trying to fake it. When Misa Iriologue speaks up to support Emilia, she is reminded of her place as well as the prohibition of Unitarian activities on campus. Anos then forcefully takes out the sceptre hiding inside from one of the students and passes it to Emilia. Whispering to her that if she had tasked that guy to steal the sceptre, she should’ve done a better job. Later Misa thanks Anos for standing up for her. She introduces herself and some of her friends in the Unitarian whose goal is to unite all demons regardless if they are of royal or hybrid descent. She takes him to their base and you can see all the fan girls just swooning till they faint seeing Anos. Yeah, there’s even some doujin artwork of Anos! Misa explains her father is demon while her mom is a spirit but she died after birth. Her father has never seen her since birth because of fear losing his royalty. But she did receive a half sword from him. As she believes the other half is with him, she hopes that she can be reunited with him one day. As the other Unitarians are also from similar backgrounds, hence this goal of theirs. Although they all believe in Anos as the true founder, he can’t have them join him yet and wants to test their resolve.

During a test to see which demon sword they can pick up so that they can be trained for the upcoming sword tournament, only Anos and the new transfer student, Ray Gransdori are able to pick them up and even defeat their trainers without a sweat. Much to Emilia’s dismay, Ray wants to join Anos’ group and be his lackey. But Anos rejects because he sees Ray’s intention of just wanting to have an easy time in his group. So he needs to prove his resolve. As the next team tournament is tomorrow, Anos has Misa and co join Ray. So if they win, you bet they can join his side. Anos and Ray duke it out in a sword fight while the other girls fight each other. Misha and Sasha realize they have power up tremendously because of their journey to the past and easily destroys Misa’s side. Meanwhile Anos and Ray’s swordplay is so powerful that they are destroying mountains, forests and drying up the river!!! WOAH!!! Ray doesn’t give up and learns from his mistake. Though in the end, despite managing to break Anos’ stick sword, he still loses. Ray then asks if they have met before because he has that feeling they have done so. Anos doesn’t discount that feeling. Maybe they did 2000 years before. After all, Ray looks almost like some guy he knew then. So even if Ray has lost, does this mean he can still join Anos’ group?

Episode 6
Even though Misa lost, Anos gives his blessings to join his group since her powers resemble closely to the water spirit. With Anos and Ray qualified to take part in the sword tournament, Anos feels suspicious because the royals definitely won’t want a hybrid to participate so why did they allow this? Anos is then brought to see Melheis Boran, one of the Seven Elder Demon Emperors. Melheis is glad to see Anos in the flesh as he reveals he too had his memories erased. However he still doesn’t know the real perpetrator. As for the sword tournament, he wishes Anos to drop out since not taking the bait might make Avos reveal himself. On Misha’s request, Anos takes her out to town and gets her a present. While at the cat café, Ivis in cat form comes by to report. The Unitarians are not led by Melheis and someone else is pulling the strings from behind. Nobody knows his identity either. There is also another unknown identity. The Lognorth Magic Hospital built by the Demon Lord Elio, he is just the figurehead and again an unknown identity is pulling the strings behind. He is unsure if both unknowns are linked together so Anos has him further investigate this as well as Melheis. Anos visits the hospital but he doesn’t see anything suspicious. He sees Ray who is here to visit his mother. When Anos mentions he might not participate in the sword tournament, Ray seems cool with it. But that slight chance in behaviour has Anos suspicious and will have Ivis investigate him too. Right before the sword tournament starts, Ivis reports back that today’s tournament is not setup by Melheis but other Seven Elder Demon Emperors, Gaois Anzem and Ydo Anzeo. Probably they want Anos to walk into some trap. As for Ray, his mom is close to death and suffering from a rare spirit disease that never existed 2000 years ago. For the first round of the tournament, Anos’ opponent is Krut Ludowell who is the strongest swordsman (and Emilia’s brother). Because Anos thinks of pulling out and doesn’t show his face in the arena, this has the royals badmouth the coward he is. Only mom tells them to STFU because her son can be the Demon Lord! Don’t mess with mothers! Anos’ dad then comes by just in time just to hand him an adamantine sword he made. Anos realized the err of his ways. He took a cowardly method trying to smoke out Avos. His goal is to make his parents happy and whatever traps come his way, he’ll just smash through them all. He goes face Krut and will end this in a minute.

Episode 7
Damn, the Unitarians got a theme song for Anos?! Fill ‘em with holes! OMFG. As expected, Anos defeats Krut in a minute. Ray also wins his matches and they are fated to meet in the finals tomorrow. But then Ray confronts Anos at the waiting room and it’s like he is being hostile. They try to test each other’s resolve and almost end up killing each other but back down. During that, Anos could tell that Ray has been bound by some magical contract in which he will die if not fulfilled. He thinks he may be taken hostage by the royals. After giving mom (Izabella) to keep his sword safe, Anos and Misa head to the hospital to check out Ray’s mom. They see her fading existence and even more shocking, she is a hybrid. Ray’s mom wakes up and knows about Anos because her son always talks about him. She reveals that Ray is at the beck and call of the royals in return for her getting treatment. Mom doesn’t want to be a burden to her son anymore so she doesn’t mind dying. But she tells them Ray is so good with the sword that he got bored. Ever since she became since, he has become lonelier. The day he lost to Anos, he was so happy about it. She hopes he can free him. Don’t worry. Anos can do something about it. Yeah, he just created some new magic and with Misa offering herself since they are both half spirits, they link each other’s source. It is also dangerous as both of them could vanish. Meanwhile Emilia confronts Izabella and the Unitarian girls to hand over Anos’ sword. Gee, was that part of the rules? Because they refuse, she shows her true colours and tries to forcefully take it from them. Definitely revenge for her brother’s loss. The Unitarian girls protect Izabella with all they’ve got but they’re no match for Emilia so they got fried. At times like this, it is when the hero comes in to save the day, right? In this case, the demonic son. Easy magic heals all of them as he is going to make Emilia pay. First he does a fatal damage to her that will kill her in minutes. He forces her to acknowledge and bow before him. It didn’t take long before she changes her mind. But he senses insincerity in her words so he kills her off and reincarnates her as a hybrid. A curse is also put on her that no matter how many times she kills herself, she will be reborn as a hybrid. Emilia in despair. Ray sees what Misa is doing so after talking to her and finding out that she truly wants to help, he knocks her out. But mom tells Ray not to worry. She knows everything and promises to always be by his side. Flashback shows Ray was kicked out of his original family and this current mom took him in and cared for him. Next day, Anos and Ray prepare to face off in the finals.

Episode 8
A special rule will take place for the finals. Both will wear a bracelet in which if it’s destroyed, that person will be considered as losing the match. A further handicap for Anos as the bracelet will slowly drain his magic power. While this gives Ray the advantage the longer this drags out, this is not what he wants. So he cuts his own heart to draw his own doom closer. He knows he will lose and die. His mom is beyond cure. So the only way out is to go out all against him. Anos is touched with his principles and tells him to forget everything. Just fight him with all he’s got. The match is so fast that nobody could see anything. The moment Anos stabs Ray’s heart, they are transported to another dimension. The culprit is revealed to be Melheis. He sets Gaois and Ydol to kill him but before they could step in, they get decapitated! Looks like this is part of Ray’s doing. But how? When Anos stabbed his heart, he only destroyed the contract binding it. There was no conspiracy among them because Ray believed in Anos 100%. Melheis tries to use Ray’s mom as shield but the guys already made their resolve. Go ahead. Kill her. Lose your only bargaining chip. He is about to do that as Ray jumps into the portal to go to his mom. Melheis is confident in getting rid of Anos by using the magic wall that Anos created. Melheis targets Ray and Anos continues to defend him. This is sucking all his magic so as per Ray’s request, he puts all his magic into creating a magic sword for him. However Ray weakens after a strike. He cannot go on. Don’t worry. Mom will motivate him. Risking her own life to give him that power, you bet all those flashbacks are going to help Ray get up and fight back. Ray is able to slash and mark Melheis, allowing Anos to track him. No matter what tricks Melheis does, Anos is superior. Eventually he destroys whatever device was controlling Melheis’ mind. With Melheis returning to his normal senses, he admitted he was attacked by an unknown assailant and mind controlled ever since. After resurrecting Gaios and Ydol, the source that controls them leads them to a shadowy figure believed to be Avos. However he escapes. Returning to reality, Anos is declared the winner since Ray is down. Anos then gives a speech about thanking his father’s sword filled with something more than love. A speech that will put every father in tears. Then a nice surprise for Ray because Anos easily resurrects his mom. Apparently her spirit source is of the sword. So by spreading the tradition with that speech all over, her source has been healed. Confusing but whatever. During the ceremony, Sasha presents Anos with a sword. Also a customary kiss!

Episode 9
2000 years ago at Gairadite, the capital of the human realm of Azeshion, Anos confronted Kanon and wanted peace. Although Kanon was doubtful, he did give it a thought. Until Jerga, Kanon’s master attacked Anos and was steadfast in not believing the lies of a demon. Although Jerga was ultimately defeated, he continued to hold a grudge against demons and vowed to kill them all even if it costs him his life. Anos told Kanon to come to his castle if he wanted to seek peace. Menou Historia takes over Emilia’s class as she tells them about the upcoming inter-academy class with the human realm. After that, Anos trains his comrades and gives suitable advice since they are still considered weak. Then Anos talks to Melheis about the remaining Seven Elder Demon Emperors who are clearly under the influence of Avos. Though, it is baffling that Melheis is the only one who didn’t have his source taken over. They also talk about the Hero Academy with classes held for only the reincarnation of Kanon’s soul. It is perplexing since the war is over, why do they even have a Hero Academy? Anos gives Ray his greatest sword from his collection since he reminds him of his old friend. Though, he still can’t determine if Ray is the reincarnation of Shin. The students are to trek to the Hero Academy. If they fail to reach there in 10 days, they are deemed unqualified to take part. Since Anos has been there, he teleports his friends there in a second!

While the rest wait for the Unitarian girls to arrive, Sasha follows Anos to scout the Hero Academy. What looks like a forced cheesy moment of Anos complimenting Sasha’s beautiful eyes is so that she will promise him to protect the rest with her eyes should he be unable to do his job. If that happens, she hopes he won’t treat her like a child anymore. That’s it? Okay. Outside the Hero Academy, they meet with Eleonore Bianca who is a senior of the Hero Academy. Since Anos would love to hear more about the heroic legends, she takes them to the library. However it seems their legend is distorted. Everyone believes it was Kanon who built the walls and driven the Demon King away. Sasha is about to blow her top but Anos plays it cool. When asked the name of the Demon King, she too replies Avos. Talking about Kanon having 7 sources, even if he had 1 left, he can still regenerate the remaining 6. Eleonore points out there are currently 4 reincarnations of Kanon. Oh, here are 2 of them, Ledriano Kanon Azeschen and Laos Kanon Jilfor. Because Anos doubts they are truly Kanon’s reincarnations, Laos cockily attacks him only to lose. Ledriano forces Laos to back down and admit defeat and hopes Anos will let them go today. As they leave, Eleonore tells Anos that Kanon was murdered 2000 years ago. So even if he does find him reincarnated via his original source, he is going to be disappointed. He is not the Kanon he knows 2000 years ago. I guess we have to wait next time to find out who murdered Kanon. But Eleonore hints it is a human who did it.

Episode 10
When the rest of the demon students arrive, many especially Revest Aynie believe Anos’ team got here by way of cheating. Revest goes as far as to admit that he hates him and will not acknowledge him as the resurrected Demon King of Tyranny. This inter-academy exam will also be presided by Diego Kanon Ijaysica who is the headmaster of the Hero Academy. First, both sides call out their best students to demonstrate their magic. Ledriano demonstrates his perfectly but it seems Revest struggles. This has the humans mock the demons being weak. Of course Anos can easily point out a hidden barrier that seals a demon’s magic. He easily destroys it and displays his own terrifying magic. Later back in his room, Ivis reports his investigation that there are no records mentioning about Kanon being killed by a human. Also, there is a strange legend passed down that indicates a holy sword will be forged to slay the resurrected Demon King. We take a side distraction to see Ray and Misa somewhat dating?! He gives her a necklace?! I suppose this is going to be important later? Next day, the inter-academy exam will take place underneath the lake. While it is obvious both sides will choose their best students, due to Revest’s pride, Menou has no choice but to select him instead of Anos’ groupie. As the exam starts, it is obvious to see that the demons are having trouble. And it is quite obvious to Anos that the holy water flowing through the lake is weakening their magic. Anos then hears Menou’s story about Revest being a kind hearted kid and underachiever until something changed his life. The exam puts the demon students’ life in danger. Anos easily rescues all of them after Diego washes his hands off and pushes back the blame onto Menou since it is her students who are weak. Due to the stigma caused by the holy water, Menou cannot heal Revest. When Revest refuses Anos’ healing, Anos tells him the truth about being weak and this will give rise to more trouble for Menou. Revest casts away his pride to seek Anos’ help just for today. With the next round of exams about to begin, the heroes taunt them they can wait till they drain out all the water in the lake. And of course Anos did that instantly! Diego panics and wants to call off the exam but his students defy him and want to go have fun fighting the demons.

Episode 11
Whatever barriers or plans, doesn’t matter, right? Just fight! So we see Sasha taking on Laos and in the end she wins because she manages to poison him. We also see Ray’s fight with Heine Kanon Iorg and of course he wins because his swordsmanship is incomparable. Now we see Anos taking on Ledriano and Zeshia Kanon Ijaysica who is the top ranked hero. The heroes resort to using the love of their millions of people to gain power. But Anos just needs 8 of his Unitarian fan girls to sing for him! OMFG! This cheesy idol song with arrogant lyrics… Sounds so dumb but yeah, it works! Far more superior! Proof that quality > quantity. A voice of utmost hatred is heard by everyone to kill the demons. Before it brainwashes some of the demons, the voice then stops. Ledriano then has Zeshia unleash a very dangerous spell just to kill Anos. Of course Anos is still standing but Zeshia continues to rinse and repeat this method. While Anos clutches Zeshia in his palms, the voice of Eleonore speaks to him. She wants him to come down to the shrine where she is for only she can stop this. Anos sends Misha in his stead but upon arrival, mad Diego repeatedly stabs her. You know it is enough when Anos steps in to give this bugger a beat down. Anos heals Misha while he interrogates Diego about his plan. Since he won’t talk, he turns Diego into his monstrous form. In this form he tries to brainwash all the heroes to kill all the demons but it failed since Anos stopped time in the battlefield? Anos then goes on to tell off Diego he is nowhere near like the hero Kanon. He is a true hero who actually sacrificed himself instead of sacrificing others. The hero who rose up and fought against him again and again. Even with his sources destroyed repeatedly, he still fought for the sake of humans. Anos kills Diego off and never wants him to so casually mention the name of the hero again. Anos enters the shrine to see Eleonore. What is she? She is magic!

Episode 12
Eleonore explains her role to create clones and heal all mortal wounds. With Anos’ help, she is able to stop this madness. Then she explains further that Jerga actually implemented this 2000 years ago. Because of his hatred for demons, he feared future generations would forget about it and hence twisted the laws of magic and transformed his source into 2 spells. One of them is Asc which is that brainwashing voice of hatred. Eleonore is the other one but since she is a bust, she is only reduced to creating clones. She also shows the memories of what happened to Kanon then. He was against Jerga using this since he doesn’t want future generations to feel such hatred. Jerga got disappointed and killed him off. Ever since, Kanon has never appeared in the world again. As long as this goes on, both sides will not find happiness so Eleonore wants Anos to kill her. With all the baby Zeshia pleading to save mama, you bet something needs to be done. Too bad the clone of Diego barges in with his men. Before he can do anything, the Seven Elder Demon Emperors of Medoin Garsa, Zorro Angato and Eldora Zaia pop up. However they aren’t under Anos’ command but Avos. Avos reveals his true goal to change the world and turn it into a world of demons, swallowed up by this deep darkness. Hence we see Diego and Avos relaying to their respective people how the upcoming war is inevitable and to rise up and crush the enemy. Anos and his friends are of course going to stop this. So while they rest for today, it is so that we can have a short detour or Ray’s romance with Misa? Taking her necklace as keepsake, huh?

Next day, Team Anos moves out to stop the stupid skirmish. Nobody must die or get killed. But he didn’t say nobody could get hurt, right? Anos and his Seven Elder Demon Emperors arrive at supposedly Avos’ castle. Damn, we didn’t even see how the Seven Elder Demon Emperors trio on Avos’ side lost! Before Anos steps in, he is contacted by Misa who is panicking that Ray went missing. Knowing that Avos isn’t in the castle but outside, Anos finally fights off with him. He could tell his real identity: Ray! Anos does some deduction about the necklace, proving Ray didn’t complete lose all his past life’s memories. Shin wouldn’t lie to him and Kanon wouldn’t conceal his identity. So who is he, really? Unless Kanon resurrected as a demon, that would make sense. He thinks Kanon is doing this roundabout way because he used his other sources on the Seven Elder Demon Emperors and there were many unforeseen circumstances like the sword tournament that was not part of his plan. Something must have happened 2000 years ago that he is trying to play the fake Demon King and save something. Ray claims that humans have gotten weaker.

Episode 13
Further revelations show when Kanon realized he was killed by Jerga and that he still plotted to wipe out demons with his hatred, Kanon used his holy sword to nullify destiny. That destiny was Anos’ reincarnation and that’s why when he reincarnated, history was rewritten and it forgot his name as the Demon King of Tyranny. So both guys fight just to preserve the peace? Twisted logic but if that’s the only way… Kanon takes a beating as Anos destroys his sources. With only 1 source left, suddenly Anos lets Kanon stab him. Anos then plays the villain as he claims he has lost and orders his demons to retreat, forbidding them to seek revenge until his resurrection 2000 years later. Kanon feels sad about it since Anos was the only one who helped him and ironically his hero. With the war over, however Diego isn’t satisfied. He believes this Kanon is fake and orders all the Zeshia clones to blow themselves up to kill all the demons. He then turns into Asc which then turns into Jerga. He is existing in magic form and will wipe out all demons. The demons try their best to diffuse all the Zeshia clones but there’s too many. I guess that’s cue for Anos to return! But how! There’s an explanation how he got resurrected but I didn’t get it. Jerga drains all his followers’ hope, turning him into some mighty justice world order thingy. Anos has the Unitarian girls sing for him to power up. Is this going to be another musical? At the same time, Anos and Kanon team up to take down hateful Jerga. In the end, after Kanon’s sword severs his destiny, Jerga is given some soothing vision of his past. Ah yes, the love. No more hate. He passes on in peace. Threat over. Misha and Sasha come crying to Anos because they thought he was dead. Oh girls, I thought you had 100% faith in him! Ray of course returns to Misa. Anos then converts Eleanore’s magic into his so she won’t be abused again. So she’s her property now? Well, I’ll be. Because he takes her home and his parents are sure shocked he brought home another babe! It’s getting crazy so it’s no wonder they’re looking forward to 10,000 grandchildren!!! Believe in Anos he can do it!

Unfit For A King But Fit For A God!
Finally true peace for everybody? Unless they wiped out every trace of the hatred. But to give them the benefit of the doubt, I suppose that Jerga who is the epitome of all the humans’ hatred is the one who has been confusing the humans so with this old master now dead and gone, it is safe to say that the realms will be a lot safer now. I mean, who is more stupid and stronger to take on Anos right now? And with his best friend Kanon-cum-Ray by his side, they’re an unbeatable pair. The world will now be a much boring place… ZzzZZzzzZZzzz… Just kidding. Anos needs to work hard and make those 10,000 babies! Will Anos be a misfit of a baby maker?! Tune in next time! If there will ever be one.

Actually if you think about it, the story and plot itself aren’t really that great or exciting. The Demon King returns only to find that things have changed and he is resolved to get to the bottom of it without stirring the hornet’s nest. After all, when you get resurrected after a 2000 years of absence, there are lots of things that have happened during that time so it is unwise to make dick moves just to uncover the mystery of these unwanted changes. Hence the only mystery that perhaps kept viewers drawn in to watch this series week after week is to find out the true identity of Avos. Who is this mysterious dude trying to change history as it is? Of course you know me, I had a few speculations who this enigmatic entity was. I was betting my money on Kanon. Surprised! It’s Ray! Nope! Gotcha again. It’s Kanon reincarnated as a demon! Damn. So close.

Other than that, the rest of the plot feels pretty much mundane as we see in the early half of the series, Anos establishing a group of people whom he can solely trust or turning others who can fully put their trust in him. Then we have the obligatory mini tournament arc and finally the inter-academy arc between both demons and humans. Nothing really special so you see. So they distract us with Anos being a powerful badass since he can do almost anything with the snap of his fingers, any spells he can counter with the recital of his mouth. We are so in awe with him that we forget that the story is pretty much bland.

So I guess that means the only character we truly care about is Anos himself. Because as already said and seen over and over again, this guy is just overpowered. Not sure if that is the right term to use seeing he himself is the Demon Lord and the one and only being occupying the top ladder of his demon brethren. It is only logical that he is cool and calm because by being the most powerful being ever, who else could actually beat him? It’s like he’s got an answer for everything. A book of cheat codes in his hands. I don’t know. Sometimes it’s like Anos is higher than God because of all the super power moves he pulled off. Don’t be surprised if God was even created by him! Because he is the main character, despite being the most top badass demon in history, we have to see him care about his friends and allies because why not? Better to root for someone likeable rather than arrogant royal purists who find rank and status are everything to them.

And of course at the beginning they tried to troll and tricked us with the confusion that he is a misfit just because he didn’t fulfil the criteria of what it takes to be a top student. Doesn’t it remind you of Mahouka Koukou No Rettousei? Definitely. I wonder if they copied this idea from there. And as you would already know, because of others measuring things in different standards, it gives rise to discrepancy, allowing them to stream those who fall in line within certain standards and those who do not. This would of course means those who do not, there are no other standards to measure them since they are ‘unfit’ or ‘below the average level’. This then serves as a precursor so that nobody would suspect Anos as their original Demon King so he can pretty much walk around without having waves of his brethren bowing at his feet everywhere he goes. Even better, those who look down on him will get a good whooping on their asses.

The rest of the other characters aren’t really interesting either. Especially those in Anos’ group like Misha and Sasha being the first members of Team Anos. The early episodes dedicate some time about their back story and all but for me, it wasn’t that particularly interesting. Sisters trying to be sisterly sister with each other. One being an emotionless doll and the other being a tsundere. Oh well, nothing that Anos cannot fix and before you know it, they’re good together again. Ever since, I felt that they’ve been relegated to just side characters. Although they do have their roles in helping out Anos, it is not as prominent during their initial stories.

Then there is of course Ray whom they try to confuse and troll us that he could be the reincarnation of Shin. They never actually confirm it and not even Anos himself but there were red herrings that were tempting to make us believe that Ray is the reincarnation of Shin. Which is of course not the case as the plot eventually uncovers. Ray also seems a lot like a secondary character only thanks to Anos being a super power badass who hogs the spotlight. You wonder why they even need to showcase Ray’s romance with Misa because even we think Anos x Misha x Sasha threesome is already by far a long shot fantasy delusion. But Ray x Misa? Something feels wrong. Oh well. Now we know. The irony that the Demon King and the hero are the greatest pals ever who understand each other well and they have to clean up the mess their descendants made. Good thing it all turned out fine.

Then you have the Unitarian fan girls who don’t really do anything much because personally it seems to me that they are just on standby in case Anos needs them to become his harem or something. Yes, they do help out as a singing choir but again nothing significant that I could remember. As for the Seven Elder Demon Emperors, I think they’re there just for the numbers. I don’t think they would be on par with Anos but to see them getting brainwashed and all, I don’t know, it just makes them feel weak. And of course, the ‘best’ characters in the series goes to Anos’ cool parents. They’re very supportive of their son no matter the circumstances and the only people in the whole wide world whom Anos can’t hold a candle to. It goes to show that good parenting can even make the Demon King bend his knees. For good reasons, that is. But it just boggles me that he had to be born into this world. Couldn’t he just appear out of thin air? I guess not. Nothing freaks you out like a talking baby when it comes out immediately of your mother’s womb. Oh honey, our little baby spoke his first words! Not sure if that is creepy or funny.

If there is one thing that I find it annoying in this series, it is the terms and lexicons used. I know it sounds awesome and magical, but when they start to spam too much of that gibberish, it somewhat gets to you. At least it got to me. Like as though they just pull those words out of the air randomly and then attach it to that particular spell. Of course this is to showcase Anos has a wide range of spells at his disposal as well as his knowledge of it all, hence all the magic terms and all. In the end, I wasn’t able to remember any of it. So forgive me if I mistakenly think Gyze is a term the demons call it as magic. There’s a website detailing some of that terms if you’re ever so interested to go look it up.

For the action bits, it is a mixed one. On one hand we are awed by Anos being able to pull off feats of magic one after another without any sweat with all the epic big grandiose flashy effects to boot but on the other hand he makes it look so easy that it isn’t fun anymore by the time the series reaches its climax. Every time there is some sort of threat, you know Anos will be able to neutralize it. They might troll us a bit he can’t handle it for now but if you’re a little patient, Anos will figure out the trick behind it and work his magic to solve it like a piece of cake. This is so that we could see the enemy being flabbergasted and surprised that there is an answer to counter it. Yeah. Better believe it. Hence you might be disappointed there is no intensity to it all but whatever. After all, magic and science and everything else have their own concepts behind it. As long as you understand its basics and core, you can manipulate it to your doing. That being said, no wonder dumb people like me don’t get all the explanation. Remember, this is not an isekai anime so don’t go hating Anos for being so freaking overpowered. So the big chunk of the action is focused on Anos. His groupie does have their moment of glory but is by far and few in between. They just show us some of the points and get over it before moving the focus back to Anos. After all, there is nothing Anos could fix so God might as well step aside and hand His title to him. Or is God cowering underneath His heavenly table after learning Anos has been reincarnated???!!! Oh sh*t! Please don’t lightning strike me!!!

Art and animation are pretty standard. Nothing much to shout about. Your typical fantasy setting so I guess the sceneries are pretty okay. Apparently I keep thinking the demon realm is hell so I was wondering why life there and in the human realm are just so familiar. Heck, you can’t even tell if one is a demon or human unless they mention it. Like Anos’ parents. Damn, I keep thinking they’re humans, not demons. Yeah, it would be pretty badass if Izabella was human and gave birth to Anos. Even more freaking awesome than Jesus’ birth from Virgin Mary! If you’re familiar with Silver Link’s line of work, you might see some of its trademark art style here in their previous works like Rakudai Kishi No Cavalry, Masamune-kun No Revenge, Busou Shoujo Maciavellianism, Kenja No Mago, Death March Kara Hajimaru Isekai Kyousoukyoku and Strike The Blood.

For the voice acting, Tatsuhisa Suzuki helming the role of Anos, I thought he sounded like Nanatsu No Taizai’s Ban but in a real demonic form. A few notable seiyuus lending their talents here whom I recognized include Aki Toyosaki as Izabella, Rie Kugimiya as Heine, Houchu Ohtsuka as Melheis, Ami Koshimizu as Emilia and Ayako Kawasumi as Ray’s mom. Because Zeshia sounds more like a retard, I didn’t identify Misaki Kuno behind the character. If she’s in that lively batty loli voice, then I’ll surely would’ve recognized her. The other casts are Tomori Kusunori as Misha (Hazuki in Marchen Madchen), Yuuko Natsuyoshi as Sasha (Himeko in Show By Rock!! Mashumairesh), Takuma Terashima as Ray (Shiroe in Log Horizon), Nene Hieda as Misa (Momo in Gundam Build Divers), Ryota Ohsaka as Kanon (Maco in Shingeki No Kyojin), Sayumi Watabe as Eleonore (Tachibana in Koi Wa Ameagari No You Ni), Aki Kakuma as Menou (Itsuyo in Val x Love), Akio Ohtsuka as Jerga (titular character in Black Jack), Kishou Taniyama as Avos (Jean in Shingeki No Kyojin), Makoto Furukawa as Laos (Banri in Golden Time) and Ryohei Kimura as Ledriano (Kodaka in Boku Wa Tomodachi Ga Sukunai). Opening theme is Seikai Fuseikai by Civilian. Typical rock outfit that fits the pacing of this series but not to my cup of tea. Another rock outfit for the ending theme, Hamidashimono by Tomori Kusunoki. Also not really liking this one.

Overall, this series isn’t crap but seeing where we are right now in this era, we deserve something better than this mediocrity. Bland story and characters and to think flashy magic power action might cover all that up, I don’t think so. So you’re going to tell me to go make my masterpiece anime then? Well, maybe I should ask Anos’ help. Maybe he can churn out better masterpiece than this run of the mill fantasy garbage. Is there a spell to kill this series and resurrect it into a better one? No? Oh well, goes to show that even some things the mighty Anos can’t fix. Bad animes being one of them. Haha! Heh. So basically the title didn’t somewhat lie to us because it is indeed a misfit that shouldn’t be held on a high pedestal by anyone’s standards. I mean, seeing a main character who is a Demon King but having unrivalled powers like God and even acting with chivalry, it just feels a bit weird. But hey, still better than any clichéd isekai anime any time.

Dear Perverts,

I’m sure all the guys have dreamt or fantasized that they are being the coolest, most handsome and/or the strongest so as they will have a bevy of beautiful babes flocking all around them. Yeah, which guy wouldn’t want to sleep with all the hottest girls around? Well. Keep dreaming for most of us. Anyway, Peter Grill To Kenja No Jikan has our titular character winning a tournament and earning him the strongest man in the land. Because of that, many girls are flocking to his side wanting to shag him so they could bear strong children! Uh huh. He may be the strongest man in the land and his fighting skills unrivalled. But when it comes to crazy desperate women who want to sleep with him… Oh boy, they didn’t teach that any of that in warrior school, did they? Good luck. You’ll need it. Every drop of it.

Episode 1
Peter Grill just won a continental tournament. With this, he is now able to keep his promise by proposing to the love of his life, Luvelia Sanctos. However winning the title and becoming the strongest fighter on land has its downfall. Because ogre girl, Mimi Alpacas wants his baby! I suppose it is ogres’ tradition to f*ck the strongest person but Peter remains faithful. What’s worse than an ogre girl trying to get into your pants? Why, 2 ogre girls! Yeah, Mimi’s sister, Lisa has the same line of thought. He manages to get away from them and meet Luvelia at the chapel. They are glad they can now get married. But Peter narrates that despite their 2 years of dating, as Luvelia has been sheltered and brainwashed by the guild master, Albatross who is also her father, Luvelia thinks babies come from storks!!! Oh well, this is going to be tough… But back in his room, he has more on his plate because the ogre sisters come bugging him. He kicks them out but since they are being noisy outside, he has to let them in. He tries to tell them off that he is engaged to Luvelia. However they know that they have never progressed from beyond holding hands. So they’re saying they’ve got way more experience than that, huh? Peter tries hard to keep his dignity and his resistance is strong until he accidentally touches Lisa’s boobs. So soft… And the next thing you know, he gave in to temptation and laid both of them! Oh yeah. Sh*t will be hitting the fan soon when Luvelia is heard knocking outside his door! OH F*CK!!!

Episode 2
Peter shoves the sisters into the closet and gives and excuse that he is training, the reason he is all sweating. Luvelia is here to tell him that they will return to the capital to inform her father of their engagement. Too bad he outright rejects! He hates Peter for deceiving his angel? Not until Luvelia threatens that she will cut ties and move away from him that he is forced to acknowledge this union. And with their engagement official, the entire kingdom parties away to celebrate this joyous occasion. You think the ogre sisters are here to congratulate him but of course they’re here to make babies! They think this secret arrangement is best. They’ll keep this tryst a secret and Peter will f*ck them until they get pregnant. At this point the sisters are naked and has pulled down his pants. Luvelia is heard coming so Peter has to think fast as he sits at the table to hide his lower anatomy. Yeah, the sisters hiding underneath the table too. Before Luvelia could talk to him, Albatross comes by to tell Peter to get out of his seat. He won’t. Because this is his proof of his devotion to her! While this only makes Albatross’ blood boil, he is forced to back down because Luvelia threatens him again. As Luvelia is praising Peter’s conviction, it looks like the sisters are playing with Peter’s dick! Luckily Luvelia soon goes off to appease her rampaging father. Peter asserts again that his love is for Luvelia. But the ogres wonder if he can stay true to that since his ‘little brother’ is saying otherwise. And before you know it, Peter makes the same mistake again of sleeping with them again! Damn, his resistance game is weak…

Episode 3
Peter finally making out with Luvelia! Wohoo! Psych! Turns out to be Albatross! OH F*CK! Double psych because he is almost making out with this loli elf? His buddy, Tim Robinson comes in to see what all the fuss is about. Oh sh*t. Cheating on Luvelia, huh? But don’t worry, he’ll take it to his grave! You bet Peter will be also heading to the grave if this is ever found out… Anyway, Vegan Eldorie is here as an ambassador. Peter’s fear comes true because she is also here to get in his pants! Of course there is a reason for it. This is to save her race. Since elves are not suited for combat, they have always done poorly in the tournament. Hence they’ve been ridiculously mocked and to avoid her race from being extinct, the council has assigned her for this job. Of course Peter rejects. Even more obviously, his junk isn’t even erected. Good thing he isn’t a lolicon. Vegan is insulted but since she won’t give up, she casts some forbidden magic spell on his crotch. By tomorrow night, he will be begging to bang her like mad. Vegan leaves but Peter thinks she is bluffing since his crotch looks alright. Meanwhile Luvelia and her men are travelling through the forest when they are attacked by a tentacle creature! Oh boy. I can see where this is going. Yeah, Luvelia getting tentacle raped. Peter hears about this and makes haste. Can he make it in time to save Luvelia’s chastity?

Episode 4
Too bad for us, Luvelia gets her wish as she screams out to Peter’s name to save her. Instantly this guy rescues her and he becomes mad at this monster for trying to defile his future wife. Basically no monster can stand up to his rage as he takes it down while everyone cheers and acknowledges him as the strongest fighter. As Peter rejuvenates at the hotspring, he notices something strange. His dick has been erected ever since saving Luvelia. Could it be the wiles of that elf? Sure enough, Vegan pops up to confirm that and an even more terrifying effect. With this eternal erection that has him experience some insatiable arousal around the nether regions, this will also cause its tissues to damage and before long, you’ll die without achieving that manhood. So the only way is to f*ck Vegan and deposit his juice inside her?! To put it in the crudest way! But Peter hears Luvelia’s voice next door. She is suggesting they bath together. Peter is surprised this is the first time Luvelia has asked something like this but at the same time also dismayed because of the curse. So what will it be? Unfortunately he has to turn down Luvelia. What wasted chance. But Luvelia understands since this came too suddenly. Poor Peter, his torture continues because now he has to beg to that prideful elf to f*ck her. Ready when you are… And so Peter shagged another woman for the record… Ah, such a beautiful morning, don’t you think?

Episode 5
Albatross hatches a devilish plan… Summoning Peter, it seems the orcs have sent an official marriage request to marry one of their kind with Peter. Although Peter and Luvelia’s engagement is official, this is of course just formality and after all that he can turn it down. After all, the orcs have funded a substantial amount of money into the guild so it would be unwise to turn this down without going through protocol. Luvelia knows this is a trap and knows Peter is only loyal to her. Oh dang. Only if she knew… As Albatross and Peter with their orc counterpart, Peter is very certain he will not get along with the ugly orcs because of their different taste in beauty. Can he say that when he sees how f*cking cute Piglette Pancetta is?! Is she really an orc?! They are both left alone and as they walk through town, Piglette starts to have panic attacks. It seems she was put up to this and doesn’t want to do this. She is also an outcast because of her looks that resembles closely to humans, other orcs ostracized her. Though she admires Peter skills during the tournament, she doesn’t think an ugly woman like her deserves to be with him. A few scumbags (hired by Albatross) try to bully Piglette but Peter easily defeats them. He also helps Piglette regain her self-confidence as he notes by human standards she is beautiful. At the end of the day, Peter declines this political manoeuvre. However the rest think they didn’t spend enough time together so they lock them up in a bedroom. Well, if it doesn’t work out, at least they know they tried. Yeah… Hope Peter doesn’t err in his judgment… But looks like his chastity is in danger since Piglette’s drink was drugged and she’s feeling horny.

Episode 6
Indeed, Albatross drugged Piglette’s drink and once he touches her, it’s all over for him and Luvelia. HAHAHA!!! And Peter is almost drawn to her boobs but manages to snap out when he sees Luvelia’s face! Thank goodness. He tries to talk about the person he is engaged to but apparently polygamy is okay with orcs. When he continues to resist, she starts crying and thinking she is ugly. Of course he denies and says she is beautiful. She catches him off guard with a quick kiss. He tries to clear his mind with this zen thingy but unfortunately those boobs are too good to resist. Yup… He f*cked her. Oh man, how he gonna get out of this one! He’s dead for sure! When she wants to tell her master of this, he tries to convince her otherwise. Something about not becoming the puppet of others and make decisions on her own free will. So when they report to their masters, Piglette gives Peter a miracle by claiming he did not touch her. Old men so disappointed. It could have ended just there but she continues. Despite last night’s inaction, she also felt some sort of connectivity to Peter. Hence she is seeking her master’s permission to join his guild and cultivate a better relationship. Oh sh*t. The miracle turned a curse. Later Piglette talks to Peter about this move. Although this is to prevent other orcs from having a child with him, this so that she could monopolize him, raise the strongest child and get revenge on everyone who tormented her! Oh dear. You’ve created a monster, Peter. Oh f*ck. She looking like yandere now… Oh sh*t, this is really a curse!

Episode 7
The real war begins. Yup. The orcs, elf and ogre are all here fighting over Peter. This is going to be real sh*t hits the fan! Menacing b*tching won’t get them anywhere so it is agreed that they establish the hierarchy via competition of using their feminine wiles. Using this artificial fairy counter, whoever gives Peter the most arousal will win. The ogre sisters start of great with their naked yuri act. High scores because those delicious boobs rubbing against each other! Although Vegan dresses in a skimpy bikini, because she has no boobs, a very low score indeed. Piglette didn’t do anything but just being in a naked apron has Peter arouse to the same level as the ogre sisters. I guess back to more b*tch fight. Peter pleads for Tim’s help to stop this but he makes it worse as he lets everyone drink alcohol! Party time! So you think Peter has had enough and puts his foot down that he will never betray Luvelia and never give in to that temptation again. Can he say that with a straight face since all the women are now parading their naked boobs in his face? Resist that! And so the next morning Peter wakes up feeling worse than a hangover. Yeah, he shagged them all so much so the counter was off the charts and got destroyed!!! OMFG… The nightmare isn’t over yet as the ladies agree to set official terms to avoid situations like this. Oh Peter…

Episode 8
And so the deliberation begins. You bet the girls can’t agree on anything because they feel the other is trying to one up the rest with bias rules. And no, Peter doesn’t get a say in it all. Yeah, basically they’re all fighting over his dick! Eventually I don’t know how, the rules are set. Unfortunately Peter has to follow them as he gets f*cked by all of them based on the treaty. But the day he is looking forward is his rest day. Yeah, no f*cking. Plus, a date with Luvelia! Such a happy outing for them until Peter spots Mimi passing by. Seems she wants to take advantage of his off day and f*ck him! Peter takes her away and reminds her about the treaty but clearly she has no intention of following it! Yeah, she’s ready to f*ck! Too bad he gives in. When he returns, Vegan is now at the table?! Oh sh*t! Same thinking! Yeah, shagged her too. As expected, it’s Lisa’s turn! Oh man, his off day is a disaster. So while Peter is away, Luvelia thinks about their past together. At the end of the date as he walks her home, he apologizes for the interruptions. She hopes that on their next day off, they could just go somewhere quiet. Just the both of them. Luvelia leaves but Peter feels awkward with this goodbye. He needs to think fast about getting out of this torture treaty or it’s the end of him with Luvelia.

Episode 9
Oh man. More of Peter’s tears. This dude is breaking down. He can’t even cry in peace since Piglette is here! Oh damn. However she hears him out over his ruined date with Luvelia and allows him to let out all his feelings on her. She’ll accept all his flaws! Yes. This guy can’t escape the gravity of her boobs and f*cks her!!! Oh f*ck! And guess what? The other ladies are here too and calling out over Piglette’s cheating! Are they the one to say?! But the short fight soon turns into some sort of understanding. They’ll all share Peter’s juice! Oh f*ck! He shags them all again! This time Peter has snapped. He tells them off the treaty is nothing but a useless piece of paper since no one is honouring it. And Mimi has the balls to say that is true. Because basically there’s no punishment either for anyone breaking it. And poor Peter. This time he has lost it. He runs out screaming naked in the rain. With his broken mental state, he takes shelter as a mighty ogre warrior, Antonio Spartokos joins him. He hears Peter out and he gives pretty good advice about not giving up on love. Because he too has been tracking the love of his life and has finally got clues about her whereabouts. Peter is grateful for his advice and will see it through but looks like this may be the start of yet another set of problems because he learns this ogre’s love is no other than Lisa who is the princess of the ogre kingdom! Oh sh*t! Did he f*ck many times the princess???!!! This is so f*cked up!!!

Episode 10
Peter confronts Lisa about being the princess of ogres. She admits to it and Peter gets mad because if this is found out, imagine the international scandal it will cause. Lisa assures him that his identity will not be at risk. She is just after his seed and after bearing the strongest child, she will disappear from his life and not even reveal the name the father. That’s why she is going to seduce him to f*ck her right now! Meanwhile Spartokos arrives at the guild to ask for Lisa’s whereabouts when he sees Mimi. She gives him directions to Peter’s place and what does he see? Peter and Lisa getting it on!!! This guy just died… And then reincarnate into a bunch of hate! Instantly he fights Peter who is naked and armed only with a banana! Fight is stopped when Lisa orders the men to stand down. Can’t disobey the princess, right? As revealed, Spartokos is their childhood friend and in love with Lisa ever since. However he is here to request her to return to their home since their clan’s morale is low without their leader. But she denies that request. Her journey of 3 years has led her to Peter who is her ‘official donor’ to make their species stronger. Lisa is brutally honest when she claims not one of the male ogres could defeat her, including Spartokos. This was the reason she left her homeland in search for a stronger heir. Spartokos admits this weakness. But he has undergone intensive training ever since and will show he the fruits of his labour. Therefore he challenges Peter to an official duel. So rumours start swirling how this duel started all because of a girl and the winner gets to become famous and propose to a girl, blah, blah, blah. Peter only knows he is in more sh*t but realizes something. If Spartokos wins, Lisa will be forced to return with him. This means less 1 b*tch in his way to Luvelia’s heart. Yeah, all he needs to do is just to lose…

Episode 11
Before Peter could have any further ideas, Lisa warns him if he does anything funny, she’ll reveal it all to Luvelia. By the way, she’s watching too! I guess Peter has to fight then. As both men prepare to face off, Spartokos notes how he could have just easily reveal this scandal to the world. But as an ogre, he will not use this cowardly method. He is bent on defeating Peter and prove his manliness to Lisa. Because the crowd realizes he is a virgin, they want Peter to lose! Tough call, eh? As the fight begins, no fight at all because Peter easily defeats Spartokos! Boos from the crowd. The winner is obvious but Spartokos begs Lisa for another chance. She gives him another but he will face her in one week’s time. Now Spartokos turns to Peter and begs him to train him. Peter isn’t into that kind of stuff but as Vegan and Piglette explain, if Spartokos wins, then the ogre sisters will have to give up and go home. Less (wo)men more share, right? And so Spartokos trains under Peter, gets magically buffed up by Vegan and is served by Piglette’s meals. Yeah, did he turn into some muscle monstrosity?! They also notice that the guild’s receptionist, Mitchie Peregrym has been bringing lunch to Spartokos every day. It is very clear she is in love with him. Or his muscles. Now it’s the fated showdown and will Spartokos reclaim his manly honour?

Episode 12
The rematch is here. Peter is confident that under his tutelage, Spartokos will win. However he realizes that Spartokos is following Lisa’s jiggling boobs! Damn, definitely will lose! I hope he didn’t learn this from Peter. And as expected, Spartokos loses. Later as he wakes up in another room with Peter who is trying to say a rematch with Lisa will yield the same results, here comes Mitchie to check on him. Peter then has an idea. He tries to hook them up together and claims that Spartokos needs some variety. In that sense he means to build up more experience with other women if he is going to stand a chance to fight Lisa again. Is he speaking from experience? Spartokos denies but Peter is smooth trying to connect how his weakness is only chasing after a woman. Mitchie interjects to confess she loves him. In an instant, they hit it off. Yeah, they even sleep together! There is nothing more for Peter to teach you… With this new ‘experience’, Peter hopes Spartokos will ask for a rematch with Lisa. However he is done with her and is now following his advice of true path of happiness with Mitchie! Oh Peter, your plans backfired. And here is Lisa to thank Peter for that true happiness path. She asks him this same question if he wants to be stuck with a naïve girl named Luvelia. Because if he goes with Lisa, he can be king of an entire nation. Think about it. Then here comes Luvelia. Ah, my lovely Luvelia. No time for reminiscing. There’s trouble. Looks like those sex maniac goblins are running rampage! Peter and Luvelia hope to be together after this ends. As for the rest of the women, they mock Peter and Luvelia’s love as amateurish. That’s why they can’t lose to Luvelia and no matter what path Peter chooses, they’ll get his juice! Yeah, what a foolproof plan indeed. But more danger for Peter because a group of hobgoblin babes are putting their focus on Peter. And what’s this? Peter’s sister too?! Don’t tell me buranko?!

The Biggest Loser: Ishuzoku Screwers
Well, I’m sure Peter do realize himself with his final episode revelations that as long as he is a man, he can’t escape the destiny of being tempted by a female’s body. Hey, at least he proves he isn’t gay! It’s going to be tougher now. Despite Peter making his steely resolve for Luvelia, as far as we have seen throughout this series, I don’t think that is going to last very long. Uh huh. Back to square one, my biggest guess. So load ‘em up on those juices. One day the strongest warrior shall be born!

There isn’t any real story in here. Just women who are out to get Peter’s seed and Peter himself failing in restraining himself while regretting everything thereafter. That’s all. That’s the basic premise of the entire story. Horny chicks wanting to f*ck Peter. And that itself is the guise for our seasonal fanservice and pseudo sex. Such plot reminds me of an old anime, Maburaho but without all the sleazy sex excuse. My only grouse is that I was under the impression that there would be hundreds of women who will be vying for Peter’s seed and that it would become a big chaotic mess as they try to get him to sleep with them. Instead, we only have a measly 4 women who wants to f*ck him. JUST FOUR F*CKING BABES. Where’s the fun in that?! Oh well, that is a pretty reasonable number if you’re going to turn this into a decent (oh the irony) little story (oh damn, another irony).

You see, the story’s direction could have taken a whole new direction and wouldn’t really fly if more horny women start to compete for Peter. Firstly, Peter wouldn’t be able to keep all the scandals a secret. This means whether or not Peter sleeps with them, everyone in the whole wide land will know about this and Peter can’t keep this entire scandal a secret. This will then lead to Albatross who will then be openly calling out for his blood and who knows even if Luvelia would still want to accept Peter as her fiancée. What about other husbands, fiancés, boyfriends and other men whose love of their life has abandoned them just to get into Peter’s pants? Madness definitely. Essentially the entire show would be about Peter running away from lustful women and very angry men. Thus just having a small mini harem would suffice at least in the context of this anime.

But it is still mind boggling to think that only 4 women in the entire land would want to bear Peter’s baby. Maybe they’re the only twisted ones. Even though I just said that it wouldn’t be probable for hundreds of women to fight over Peter’s seed, I was hoping there would be just a few more. You know, just to tick the checklist of every other race that Peter will shag! So I don’t see any vampire mistresses, fairy girls or beast women anywhere. I’m sure in this fantasy continent with races like elves, orcs and ogres, there would be other races too, am I right? Well, unless they never existed in the context of this fantasy or these races are too strong and hence don’t need to f*ck Peter. Oh right, those hobgoblins appeared right at the very end so I guess there are other races too. One at a time, Peter’s juices aren’t going anywhere!

Poor Peter. This guy might be the strongest warrior in the land but he has got the weakest libido resistance. I suppose they don’t teach that in warrior school or any sort of such chivalry. Maybe that’s supposed to be common sense. What is common sense in this world anyway? Peter is being painted as the victim here but if you think deeper about it, he is also partly to blame for allowing his life to be tainted with this unspeakable secret trysts. His weakness to boobs is the main cause of this downfall and that’s why it is not entirely the women’s fault that Peter fell for their seduction. Though, I just don’t get it, how many times are they going to try and f*ck Peter till they get the strongest child they want. I mean, can they identify after sleeping with him once that he fired duds or something?! Yeah, this part may be a no brainer and sounds more like porn logic. But whatever. He lived up to his name of being sexually grilled by these women.

Therefore the only person whom Peter wants to consummate will likely remain as the last person he will ever sleep with. Assuming if that ever happens. You’d think that seeing Peter in his pitiful state would make us sympathize with him because his heart is still oh so true to Luvelia. Well, unfortunately his dick is not loyal to anybody! HAHAHA!!! Thinking about this, it is hard to feel pity on Peter. Uh huh. Sometimes my sadistic side was just hoping the whole scandal gets exposed and see infidel Peter get his just desserts. My only worry is pure and innocent Luvelia. It can go both ways, though. If Peter’s scandal becomes known, she can become enraged, call off their engagement and become foul of love, never coming to love again and hating men for the rest of her life. Ooohh. That’s really a deep cut. But Luvelia being the nice girl she is, could forgive Peter and let it slide because you know, their love knows no bounds. So it’s a pretty 50-50 chance of Luvelia falling to either side.

For the rest of the other girls in Peter’s harem, oh boy, they sure have lots of time to bide as they wait for their next opportunity to pounce on Peter. After all, it has become their life’s mission to get his seed and bear the strongest child. Not sure how guaranteed is that because if they fail to do so and next year’s tournament Peter loses, will this shenanigan still go on? Anyway, these ladies know they hold the upper hand and that’s why they aren’t the slightest afraid of Peter or his empty threats. Uh huh. Too bad Peter, you’re just a tool. No love here. And who could ever forget the overprotective Albatross. I don’t think this guy just hates Peter. It could be anybody. He just doesn’t want to give away his daughter to anybody. The only thing stopping from him getting his way is Luvelia herself. The mere threat of cutting ties with daddy would send the old senile bugger into panic mode. Yeah, that keeps him in check. But the rage still burns inside strongly…

I’m sure we’re all here for the fanservice (the reason why we watch this, no?), especially those steamy moments when the girls are going to shag Peter. And of course seeing that this is aired over the TV waves, there are the censored and uncensored versions. You should know me by now which version I watched. Uh huh. My mental image is super strong!!! Anyway, if you are annoyed by those damn white censors because you want to see tits, asses and pussies, I’m sure the uncensored one will be a lot satisfying. Art and animation are pretty okay and standard. Nothing too shabby but nothing that extraordinary either. This anime is done by Wolfsbane, a relatively new anime studio and this is their debut anime.

For the voice acting, Hiro Shimono helming the role of Peter, he sounds like one of his usual joker characters like Shingeki No Kyojin’s Connie and Kimetsu No Yaiba’s Zenitsu. Pretty much at home here. Ayana Taketatsu as Mimi is the only other seiyuu I recognized. The rest are Yui Ninomiya as Luvelia (Ema in Aikatsu Friends), Hibiku Yamamura as Lisa (Azami in Shin Sakura Taisen), Akari Uehara as Vegan (Riona in Ousama Game), Sayaka Senbongi as Piglette (Julia in Dorei-ku The Animation), Kenta Miyake as Spartokos (Cocytus in Overlord), Ayaka Ota as Mitchie and Takayuki Sugou as Albatross (Wanyuudou in Jigoku Shoujo). Tsuranuite Yuutsu by Yui Ninomiya sounds pretty generic as pop idol music. I prefer much the ending theme, Yoridokoro by Hilcrhyme because of its catchy hip hop feel in its tune.

Overall, this anime might be garbage and trash by many because of its ridiculousness and blatant fanservice of pseudo sex, which of course are its selling points. Fortunately for me, I left my brains (and libido!) at the doorstep and with such low expectations I actually find it funny and fun! In an entertainment sense, that is. Seeing a guy trying to hide his infidelity but at the same time digging his grave deeper also serves as a great reminder why guys should always never use the wrong head to make decisions of the flesh. Not that I can get a single girl to go after my seed :’(… It is sad that this anime is just like Peter’s pride: Irredeemable. How fast can you run away from such baloney? Because how fast can you say this modified tongue twister: Peter piped her, picked and pecked those pretty pussies…

Dokyuu Hentai HxEros

November 29, 2020

No excuses this time. We all know why we want to watch Dokyuu Hentai HxEros. Heh. Even the name of the anime doesn’t hide the fact it has something to do with all the lewdness. Uh huh. They’re not even shying away from making a pun out of hero and ero. With Corona virus locking us down and making us feeling horny, even Pornhub has been giving free viewings to us! Oh yeah! Hope your horny lust has been satiated. Because anime too won’t lose out and hence this series. So what’s new? Nothing really. Because once again Earth is in danger of being invaded by bug-like aliens. And the only way to defeat them is with the power of hentai! Oh yeah! It’s not the first anime having such concept as we have Kenzen Robo Daimidaler and Fuuun Dai Shogun that also uses the power of perversion to power up our heroes. So get ready those wrists and tissue papers as we prepare to fap and convert our inner lewd horniness into power that could save the world! It’s all for the sake of humanity, people!!! I swear!!! Believe it!!!

Episode 1
Ah, such age of innocence. Kirara Hoshino teaching Retto Enjou how to do adult stuffs. Albeit just holding hands. As expected, shy boy is shy while cheeky girl is so teasing. From that day on, Retto wants to be… A SUPERHERO???!!! WTF???!!! WHERE’S THE CONNECTION???!!! Anyway, fast forward 5 years later. Retto is your typical high school kid but what’s this? A total change for Kirara?! She isn’t just a germaphobe but she hates men too???!!! Something must have happened. Even if Retto is her childhood friend, he is not spared as she wants him to keep his distance. Even when she falls down the stairs, he is forced to grab her. Of course he grabbed her boobs but this is to save her from greater harm. Gee, so she scorns him now? Thanks. That’s some gratitude there. On the news, we are enlightened of Earth’s current situation. It is believed that aliens called Kiseichuu invaded Earth many years ago and started stealing humans’ erotic energy. Victims are left in a lifeless state that are devoid of any perverted or horny feelings. We see one now in action. A Kiseichuu purposely cuts a showgirl’s bra open. Horny fans start welling up their erotic energy. Kiseichuu steals them. Everyone now barren zombies and thinking of doing actual serious stuffs???!!! But don’t worry. Retto is a superhero using such energy to defeat the Kiseichuu! Though sent flying, Retto’s clothes also get torn!!!

He returns to his uncle, Anno Jou who maintains his gear like this special watch that converts his erotic energy into power. We see a glimpse of what happened that day, when a Kiseichuu showed up, Kirara went to protect Retto and got her erotic energy zapped. That changed their lives. Now in school, Kirara total ignores him although he tries hard to apologize. On the way back, that Kiseichuu returns. With an even harder body her queen gave her, Retto’s power has no effect. Retto takes Kirara and run. Their hands touch. What’s this feeling she feels inside? It’s bursting out now! Together with Retto, they blast the Kiseichuu away for good! Turning naked in the process. Kirara is embarrassed with this as the flashback further shows after her erotic energy was zapped by the Kiseichuu, the Kiseichuu noted she has so much more hentai energy than the normal person! So much more that she herself cannot handle it and exploded!!! WOAH!!! Poor Kirara was so embarrassed after that, that she locked her heart away and started hating boys. If only there was a way to get things back to normal… Reconciliation put on hold when they are confronted by Momoka Momozono, Maihime Shirayuki and Sora Tenkuuji. They claim Kirara has the power and will be their newest recruit of their superhero team known as Super HxEros. Yes, Retto is part of this group. At least the Saitama branch. And yes, all of them live together and so shall Kirara from now on.

Episode 2
Kirara letting Retto do hentai stuffs to her because she agrees to use this power to save the world? Psych! Trolled ‘ya! Just a dream! So we see Retto waking up in the dorm. Naughty pet dog Runba just brought him Momoka’s panties. Momoka isn’t upset it is in his hands but rather she thinks he has no balls to go get it himself and used the dog!!! Retto realizes Retto mixed up her room again and slept with him. Maihime isn’t even spared from the fanservice as Runba starts rummaging through her boobs when food accidentally spilled over them. Apparently Kirara isn’t living with them. As explained by Anno that this would help team cooperation, looks like she didn’t accept this crap. She left and Retto is left with the impossible task to convince her. So in school, he tries not to be direct but wonders if their relationship would have been different had the Kiseichuu not ruined it like it has ruined many other relationships. Time to think deep, Kirara. This means a flashback of young Kirara teaching erotic lessons to Retto like putting his hands on her boobs and holding each other close. Man, did the lesson advanced that much? When a Kiseichuu turns up at school, Kirara notices a boy whom she just rejected is about to become the victim. The Kiseichuu is going to absorb all his negative energy so he doesn’t have to deal with love! Despite afraid, Kirara faces up to the Kiseichuu to let the guy run for help. Cue for Retto to jump in and blast away the bug (and their clothes too!). So I guess this is cue for them to reconcile so Kirara agrees to live with them but warns not to use her or the girls to accumulate his perverted energy. This is going to be a tall order… Except maybe for emergencies. Can every time be considered an emergency? The other girls welcome Kirara as Retto realizes he will be living together with the girl he loves. But no time to rest as a Kiseichuu alert rings. Not sure WTF this is because Retto is then scrambled down to the bath area where all the girls are being naked to deepen their skinship. Of course Kirara doesn’t like this and lets loose her power so much so it destroys that Kiseichuu flying over!!! OMFG!!! How in the world???!!! Oh well, I guess things are going to be okay then…

Episode 3
While chasing down a Kiseichuu who steals panties, because Kirara has no H-power to finish her off, the little alien got away. Momoka wants to help her build up some H-power via porn but I guess Kirara isn’t so into that. This irks Momoka because Kirara has got the goods but doesn’t know how to use it well. What a waste of resources?! Because all of them here has their convictions to be a hero. As Momoka is probably the one with the smallest bust, time for a flashback how her sister, Sonoka was more popular than her. All the men flocked to her. Even if Momoka is more athletic than her and got recommendations for special track and field events, all the attention was on Sonoka. Momoka tries to bust up via soy milk bath. That’s what the TV show says, right? I guess this is to have some ambiguous fanservice with Retto because she spent too long in it and starts feeling dizzy. Can’t think straight. Get your mind out of the gutter! Though Retto won’t tell anyone about this, Momoka notices that Retto’s H-energy is rising. She is glad that boobs aren’t the only potential for that power. And yeah, that TV show apologized for the fake research… The panties stealing Kiseichuu turns up in school to do her usual. This time Retto helps Kirara in chasing and crushing it. If not for Kirara vouching for him, Retto could’ve been mistaken for the panty thief. Later, Kirara goes out shopping with her friend. So need advice to buy some lingerie, huh? So that night she enters Retto’s room with this new sexy lingerie. So this is a sorry excuse to increase her H-energy? Okay. Whatever. As she sleeps close to him, this brings back memories of one of those innocent young days. Retto saw Kirara’s cute sleeping face and wanted to kiss her but she woke up and caught him in the act. Yeah, that face was priceless. In fact, she allowed him to kiss her but that shy boy backed out and gave lame excuses. Yeah, Kirara not amused. She was so disappointed! Kirara then realizes her boobs are being groped. Is Retto turning into a hentai monster now?! Oh, turns out to be Sora. Wrong room again, huh? Oh well, Kirara better get back to her own room then. And Sora continues to sleep in Retto’s room. Maybe they should just switch rooms. As Kirara rues this lost chance in her room, she accidentally releases her H-power that blows another hole in the ceiling! There goes the lingerie she bought too. What a waste… Anno isn’t mad at the hole in the ceiling. It just shows how great her potential is!

Episode 4
Looks like the Kiseichuu queen knows there are too many humans to eliminate. But her underlings have a plan and that first step is to eliminate Super HxEros. Now we see Maihime getting captured and tentacle raped by one. Turns out to be a wet dream because Runba is licking, uhm, down there… We get a peek in Maihime’s daily school life. She has low self-confidence because she claims she has no talent in anything except sensing H-energy. Well, if she always keeps comparing to her more talented and super popular tomboyish childhood friend, Chiya Houya. Chiya has given some good advice to Maihime but how far will that go? Until a Kiseichuu attacks the school. Maihime goes into action and gets tentacle raped! Luckily she manages to get out because of the dream this morning. Thank goodness for that wet dream? Then she realizes all the tentacles are students turned into one and one of them is Retto. Maihime then shoots a blast to destroy the Kiseichuu. This means all the students return to normal. Except for Retto, why is everyone girls?! You bet Retto still has to run for his life! Chiya has seen it all and notes that this is what Maihime is good at. Back home, Momoka does some prank that spills juice all over Maihime. Then Runba comes and starts the erotic licking… I swear this is going to be her ero running joke… But the highlight is Kirara stumbling upon a porn book on the floor. Turns out to be Sora’s and she’s very embarrassed to learn Kirara has learnt her dark secret. Of course Kirara isn’t such cold hearted person and understands everyone has a secret or two. Until Sora is ready to reveal, she promises not to tell anyone. Sora feels better but wants to make it even. Now that Kirara has seen her embarrassing moments, Sora wants to do the same. So she sketches a naked Kirara? Oh well. We win this one too! What’s this? She’s drawing an erotic manga of a threesome with Retto?! Erotic dreams put on hold as the Kiseichuu alert is sounded. Yeah, this time they are attacking Sora’s favourite bookstore. Thanks to Kirara’s motivation, Sora is able to power up and fight back with no shame. As Kirara leads the bookstore clerk away, turns out she is a Kiseichuu in disguise and kidnaps Kirara. She is brought to the queen who will use her as bait to lure the rest of Super HxEros and eliminate them. Only then they can proceed to their next plan of castrating the entire human race!

Episode 5
You bet Retto and the girls are going to save Kirara. But without them as a whole, how are they going to get their H-energy? Not sure about Momoka having the girls give their panties to Retto… Nothing happens… As Kirara is being held in a Kiseichuu’s underground nest, thankfully she manages to feign being horny and deal with that stupid Kiseichuu to break free. It is then she stumbles into a cat girl? Actually she is Chacha, the firstborn princess of the queen bug. She explains she is ostracized and imprisoned ever since because she is different from the rest. Now that she has come to know a lot about the human planet (especially, porn, uhm, I mean soap opera…), she wants to bust out of here too. It seems Chacha’s uncanny ability is to release pheromones that make it easier for other species to feel that H-energy. That power starts welling up in Kirara before she cuts it off. So what gives? Something about that feeling called embarrassment. This makes Chacha confused because it is how humans reproduce so why so shy about it? She thinks Kirara should be more honest with herself. The nest is under attack as our Super HxEros barge in to save Kirara and strut some of their H-energy moves. Kirara and Chacha’s moment ruined when a Kiseichuu takes Kirara as hostage. She even badmouths Chacha for trying to help a human and if she wasn’t the queen’s firstborn, she would have been killed a long time ago. With Kirara taken hostage, Retto can’t do anything and gets captured too. But gee, they’re kind enough to let them talk. This includes Retto telling her not to be ashamed of her H-energy. More flashback of when they’re kids. You think young Kirara is raunchy but is just tricking Retto into asking her for some candy. Where’s the sexual connotation in that?! Anyway, this leads to Kirara believing that she had those feelings once and had she still had them, she would have definitely lived a more (ero) life like having her own boyfriend and doing all the usual (ero) stuffs. This power is enough to break Kirara free! Enough to crumble the entire nest?! I don’t know how fast Kirara explained to Retto because he went in to save Chacha. Everyone is out safe and Chacha has mimicked Kirara’s body. This busty version of hers is trying to rape Retto???!!! Despite destroying the nest, this doesn’t mean defeating her mother queen. Hence Chacha is here to stay and will help retrain their H-energy.

Episode 6
Chacha is introduced to Anno and despite showing her mimicry form, he is still suspicious. Until Kirara had to embarrassingly say she can help with their H-energy and cue for clumsy Chacha to somehow pull down her pantsu. You convinced now? Okay. But looks like she’ll be staying at the dorm. Next morning, we see some pseudo sex between Kirara and Retto. Turns out to be Chacha mimicking Retto and I suppose Kirara can’t take the heat. So she wants Chacha to mimic Runba instead?! I hope she isn’t into beastiality. Later, because Retto won’t tell his H-energy source, Chacha uses another power of hers to merge their bodies together. This means Retto is now one with her and can feel the exact same sensations. You know what this means. That’s right. First up they visit Maihime’s room. Doggie molests her so good that it sends Maihime to seventh heaven! OMG. ‘Runba’ sure got the touch! Next is Momoka. But Momoka wants Chacha to mimic a busty version of her to see what it looks like. Then Chacha helps Momoka in doing exercise and you bet all that physical touching sends her into orgasm somehow. Next is Sora. Since she is drawing sexual poses, not sure how she ended up in one. Lastly it is Kirara in the bath. Something steamy is going on here… Until Retto realizes this is not the kind of H-energy he wants. Because he wants to do it on his own effort. With this, he separates from Chacha. But Kirara thinks they are in cahoots and too bad for them, looks like the dorm has another hole. Boy, that’s a lot of H-energy stored up there. On another day, after defeating a Kiseichuu, Kirara is splashed with weird liquid. Because of that, her state of mind regressed into that of a child. Not just any child because remember how flirty she is? Yup. Flirty Kirara can’t stop being cheeky with Retto. You making everyone jealous? One point she isn’t wearing bra so Retto thought of having her wear bandages to cover up. But this has her tease him even further and letting sleep in her boobs. Even a hint that they can do some bondage play. Retto panics and ends up tying her up in some bondage position even if he didn’t intend it. At this point, Kirara returns to her normal self so she tries to brush everything off by giving excuses that she was just acting to see their reaction. Wow. Best acting ever, huh? Oddly, she hears the voice of her young version telling her to be honest with herself.

Episode 7
It seems a Kiseichuu has been giving people the best dreams that they refuse to wake up as they continue sleeping. So I guess our HxEros team is baffled that nobody is coming to school. Chacha explains about the Kiseichuu doing this and that currently their queen is missing and that’s why the race is disorganized now. HxEros head down to the Kiseichuu’s base and after a mean mocking by Momoka, the Kiseichuu puts them to sleep. We see Retto’s dream. Kirara teasing him about kisses and all. But the best part is when he has got a harem of Kirara of different ages! He definitely doesn’t want to wake up from this one. Of course Chacha enters his dream to wake him up and promise that doing it with the real Kirara is way better than this delusion. With that, Retto gets ready to wake up. However it seems the Kiseichuu is done in by Shiko Murasame and Moena Wakakusa, HxEros from the Tokyo branch. When they spot Chacha with Retto, they immediately set sights to target Chacha. Despite Retto’s explanation that Chacha is on their side, they won’t listen. Retto will not give up so Shiko decides to play a game to see whose tenacity is greater. Whoever spills out their H-energy first loses. This means both of them engaging in some lewd hentai molestation game… Yeah… Retto looks like he is going to lose it so Chacha manages to break free and bites his neck. Did he turn into a vampire? Worst. Beast mode!!! Faster and stronger, he makes Moena orgasm first!!! Now Shiko can’t break his stranglehold. Some flashback about the emotions she held inside. Blah, blah, blah. Not interested. Can we just see her tits?! In the end, she also orgasms. Now she’s pretty tame compared to her badass first appearance. Wanna bet she’s now interested in Retto? But then another Kiseichuu pops up to attack them. Oh no. They’ve run out of H-energy juice. Are they done for? Don’t forget the other HxEros girls who have awakened from their slumber to defeat it. Of course ultimately it is Retto who saves Shiko once again. Mind the lewd position. In the aftermath, it seems Momoka and Moena know each other since they’re from the same middle school. Moena notes Momoka is still the same. At least the boobs part. The Tokyo girls back down for now but they aren’t giving up yet. And by that I take it as they’re referring to Retto, right?

Episode 7.5
WTF?! Did we fap too much that we forgot the story and hence the need of this recap episode?! Oh wait. This anime has a story???!!!! Oh well, never hurts to fap again…

Episode 8
Ever since, there is this little devilish Kirara AKA Dark Kirara following and lecturing Kirara about doing sexy stuffs to Retto. Because only she can see this, whenever others see her ‘talking to herself’, they think she is all stressed up. Poor Retto, he thinks Kirara is taking it out on him when in actual fact she is trying to fight off Dark Kirara. Though, Dark Kirara claims that all her actions are Kirara’s own doing and she is just an embodiment of her dark desires. Retto leaves school and bumps into Shiko waiting for him. She is here to apologize for hitting him the other day. Also, she asks if Kirara is his girlfriend. Not really. Wow. Look at how happy she reacted to that. She hopes they can be H-friends. You mean, friends with benefits? Nope. H-friends are those who help replenish each other H-energy. Okay. Whatever. So at home, Shiko tries to take sexy pics of herself. A distraction has her accidentally post herself in the nude and sent it to Retto! Oh dear. Next day, Shiko tries to give him her bento but here comes Kirara to stop their flirting. B*tch showdown? It ended before it even started since Shiko reminds her she isn’t even his girlfriend so why so defensive, b*tch? With Dark Kirara putting weird ideas into her head, Kirara pretends to go take a bath with Retto but gets assaulted by him in beast mode! Luckily he comes to his senses as he apologizes and explains this dangerous mode he turns into whenever Chacha bites him. She forgives him but accidentally shows him her ass. Is this a win or loss? Retto wakes up from a dream of Chacha telling him to give in to his physiological urges if he wants power! WTF?! Because of that, he is late for school so he grabs the only drink available on the table. Had Momoka been a little earlier to explain it was a sample sent by HQ to test this energy drink containing H-energy, oh well, we know what will happen. So as he takes a break, Shiko once more comes to bug him. No friends, huh? Oh, here is Kirara too. Because both girls accidentally drank the energy drink, both get drunk and it’s b*tch showdown round 2. This time fuelled with H-energy! Good thing the competition is karaoke. But everything else goes downhill from here. The girls dress up in cosplay as they fight to sing to get Retto’s attention. Yeah, even putting their mic in tantalizing places! Wow. Is Retto’s H-energy going through the roof?! 69%?! 300%?! UNMEASURABLE???!!! In the end, they get a hangover. Back home, Dark Kirara tries to put more ideas in Kirara’s head. However, she also reminds her about the promise they made that day. Has she forgotten? The promise to get them both together.

Episode 9
Time for a real beach fanservice episode. Anno drives our young HxEros to the beach so they can relax. Oh, don’t worry about leaving their base behind because Chacha and Runba are holding down the fort. I can guess what’s in store for our young ones here when they arrive at the beach called Hadakana Beach. Yeah… Oh, what’s this about being the first nudist beach?! Anyway, there’s a strange sea cucumber that squirts strange liquid. Yeah… One may be just odd but what if the entire beach is filled with them?! Now that the beach is contaminated with this little perverts, they retreat to the inn only to be told by the hostess that thanks to its invasion, it has driven customers away. You bet she has called the extermination and looks like they’re the Tokyo branch HxEros! We are also introduced to a couple of new faces of this Tokyo branch, Yona Ichogi and Touma Taiga. The latter seems to be quite a fan of Retto. Both sides join forces to rid of the sea cucumbers. So the only way is to squeeze them dry in hopes this will smoke out the real Kiseichuu behind this? Okay. But why do they have to squeeze it all out on their face or boobs?! I WONDER WHY!!! We also learn Touma wants to learn from Retto how to collect H-energy since he himself has low H-energy. The last time he saved his comrades is the reason why he is now his hero. Retto doesn’t know if he should take that as a compliment. But don’t look now because the Kiseichuu has rendered the girls immobile with pervy sea cucumber sucking all their H-energy! Retto’s goal is to attack the Kiseichuu directly so Touma could save the girls but since he didn’t realize a few sea cucumbers sucking on him, looks like it’s all up to Touma. Touma looks shy at first until he reveals his most efficient way of gathering H-energy is via voyeurism. This means he shoves Retto into a compromising position with the girls and this builds up his H-energy to blast away the Kiseichuu! In the aftermath, they enjoy their much deserved hotspring bath. No slipups here. Girls just watching the nice scenery while Retto witnesses quite a ‘scenery’ because if you’re wondering why Touma is always covering up not only to troll us his gender, but rather he has big nipples!!! HOLY F*CK! Retto got an erection!? Nope. Trolled us with that stray sea cucumber… More gay trolling because next morning Retto realizes his hand on Touma’s chest! Shiko and Momoka come in and get the wrong idea so they strip for him! Best breakfast ever???!!! Itadakimasu!!!

Episode 10
The gang now tour the city. But Shiko has a brilliant idea. Citing that touring in a big group makes them look like idiots, she suggests splitting into smaller groups and the one with the lowest H-energy gets to choose which group they want to be in. This is quickly shot down by the rest who don’t want to reveal their H-energy so they settle it via rock-scissors-paper. And you’ve guessed it, the plan backfires on Shiko since she is in the same group as Kirara, Momoka and Moena. While Retto’s group visit the owl café, Kirara’s group visit a sex shop???!!! Obviously Kirara is embarrassed. Shiko after watching her knows what this means. So she declares that she is going to really seduce Retto next time. Oh, there might be other girls after him too so better be on your guard. Retto’s group now visits the VR centre. Yona has Retto try a dating VR. Little does he know, she plans to strip herself before him and let him feel her! So Retto is wondering why the VR is so freaking real when he realizes he is groping Yona instead!!! Yona apologizes and explains this is her H-energy. Then she gets embarrassed and realizes Shiko tricked her because Retto isn’t a depraved dog who does pervy things to his girls. But she is still amazed the Saitama branch can still fight Kiseichuu without resorting to this. She hints she is envious of the girl who likes him.

After the groups part, Retto and Kirara get lost and bump into each other. So yeah, they take the train home. On the last train, Kirara realizes her hair accessory is missing. While she doesn’t mind, Retto goes his way to seek the train station’s help to get it back. As they walk home, curious Kirara wonders about the hair accessory since she doesn’t remember how she got it. Retto reveals he gave it to her as a proposal present. Flashback reveals he wanted to trick her by making her misread the word marriage for battle (its kanji is written almost similar) but Kirara was a cool cat and hinted more ambiguous stuffs and turned the table on Retto. Panicked, he then give the present to her but of course it backfired since she’ll take care of it. Now Kirara has realized she has been somewhat engaged all this time to him. Embarrassed? When something seems to stalk them, turns out to be a raccoon. Cheeky raccoon reveals the sex toy she bought?! Though Kirara blames it on Shiko and was supposed to return it to her. The panic has her H-energy increase and her clothes ripped! They troll us by showing us Kirara shoving Retto to the ground and make him sleep in her boobs. It’s just to hide from a passer-by. Kirara then hints she’ll give her confession answer to him after the last Kiseichuu is defeated. So if he falls for another girl then, she won’t forgive him. Is that a threat? But Retto’s panicking this time. More panic when he realizes it is already late and the only accommodation nearby is a hotel!

Episode 11
Time for some bad news. Yeah, the bug queen’s back. But first, after Retto defeats a Kiseichuu, he got stung before she dies. Is there a side effect? You bet there is! Because his dick turns into a weasel and runs away!!! Now I’ve seen everything!!! Retto has to quickly get it back or he’ll forever turn into a woman and never turn back! And yeah, this is where our usual fanservice comes in. The weasel runs around the dorm as Retto who is now fully a woman tries to go after it. The other girls don’t recognize Retto so he introduces himself as his little sister, Hiiro. This isn’t a lie as he does have a little sister by that name. The weasel weasels its way into the bath. I can see what’s coming. Hiiro is invited to take a bath as the girls want to know Retto’s weakness. Does that include who he loves? So with all the clumsy fanservice and all, finally he manages to stick the weasel back. And of course as expected when he transforms back into a guy, we all know what’s coming. On to some serious ‘plot’, on the news it seems Anno has been the first person arrested under some indecency law. However he left a new gear that allows the transformation into outfits that will not rip. Finally! This is only possible after experimenting using Chacha’s hair. More woes as a call from HQ claims that Super HxEros is disbanded and no one can live in the dorm anymore.

With everyone returning to their own home, Retto gets depressed. So much so Kirara ‘steals’ his gear and will only give it back to him if he cheers up. In school, Kirara’s friend hopes to ask Retto and his friends out to the fireworks festival because she too has someone she likes. So everything is set and on the day of the festival, looks like Retto is running late. Kirara excuses herself to the toilet but since it’s a long queue, she does it by the pond?! Oh yeah, Retto is there all bruised. What gives? Turns out he was trying to stop a Kiseichuu but he forgot he didn’t have his gear. He knows the Kiseichuu is going to ruin the fireworks and is hell bent on stopping this. Kirara is in a dilemma because didn’t HQ also ban their heroic activities? Retto explains the real reason why he joined Super HxEros. At first it was to avenge for what they did to Kirara. But then he realized that they are people protecting the romance of others. If he can’t protect that, how can he protect his? Sounds great to Kirara but cheesy to us. But that’s enough for Kirara to summon help from her Dark Kirara so that she could kiss Retto on his cheek and power up using the gear and turn that Kiseichuu into part of the fireworks. Tamaya! They are reunited with the rest of the Saitama girls who were also tracking down this Kiseichuu. They never planned on giving up on their justice. Chacha then feels the new governor’s face looks familiar. I bet I know who she is… Anyway, if you’re too dumb to figure out, Retto’s wild speculation is spot on because it could be a Kiseichuu camouflaged as a governor and enacted laws to disband Super HxEros and arrest Anno. Yeah. I bet it is. But better be safe than sorry since they’re going to meet her to make sure.

Episode 12
Because Chacha can only tell if a Kiseichuu is disguised as a human, it is a dangerous job for her. Hence they tail the governor all the way to her home. Yeah, the taxi fare is going to kill Retto’s wallet… Chacha disguises as a delivery person. As the governor answers the door, when their hands touch, it’s like Chacha gets hypnotized and soon she follows the governor in. Our HxEros can tell this is trouble so they rush in. Isn’t this trespassing? When they find Chacha, they also discover the mayor is her mother which also effectively means she is the bug queen. Her ability is to mind control others. Retto tries to attack but it is futile. She locks them in this room that is H-energy proof so struggle all they might, they can’t get out. Bug queen talks to Chacha about their goal in farming humans as cattle. Because they have always driven other races to extinction so with humans having high H-energy, they can feed on them forever. Meanwhile Momoka suggests an emergency tactic to increase their H-energy and bust out: An orgy! Only Kirara and Retto disagrees. Too bad, majority wins. Kirara’s only condition is to turn off the lights and let their imagination go wild. Yeah…

In the dark, Retto can tell Momoka is groping him. I mean, who has the smallest boobs?! He gets away so Momoka sexes up Maihime instead. Retto thinks he can use his nose?! WTF?! CAN HE?! Didn’t work but Sora got her ass sniffed… Dark Kirara is trying to teach Kirara how to masturbate?! Then here comes Retto clumsily crashing into her. Is this the moment we’re waiting for? Chacha is trying to escape but her mom won’t let her. Chacha claims she might not be a Kiseichuu or human but she is part of HxEros! Cue for our heroes to bust out of the room! Yeah, their H-energy is shooting through the roof (and walls) literally. We get to see them beat down the bug queen before she unleashes a giant octopus for our tentacle rape fanservice while she escapes. Retto and Kirara go after her. The rest stay put to take care of this tentacle threat but their H-energy is being drained. Don’t worry. Chacha bites them to turn them into beast mode! So much H-energy that the octopus explodes! Elsewhere, bug queen bites Kirara to hypnotize her. Then she forces Kirara on Retto. More fanservice? The only way Retto can snap her out of this is to explain how he prefers the tsundere Kirara. Because that Kirara is the Kirara he knows. Also, he likes her smile. And with that, she snaps out. The duo power up to destroy the bug queen once and for all. Too bad she realizes this is the H-energy she is looking for but gets done in by it. Retto wants Kirara’s answer since they’ve technically destroyed all Kiseichuu, right? But I guess she thinks he is pushing his luck and beats him up. A few days later, Anno is released and all charges against him are dropped. Better, HxEros team is reinstated and let the pervy ways of the dorm return!

Lust For Power? Lewd-icrous!
Oh well. I guess all of us didn’t fap enough and contribute enough H-energy to get another full season! So sad… But yeah, by most of our standards, we’ll be all dried up by now! Can we survive till the next ecchi fanservice anime hit our screens?! Anyway, the ending feels rushed and doesn’t really tie up anything. Like as though it just reverts everything back to square one and status quo. You know, our HxEros continuing to be a team and more ecchi fanservice waiting in store? With the bug queen gone, but because there is still HxEros, does this mean there are other bugs on the loose? Or is there a bug goddess somewhere? Oh well. It doesn’t hurt to have more H-energy on standby.

Basically there is no real plot whatsoever. What do you mean using the power of perversion to destroy evil bugs from the face of the Earth is a plot?! That is just an excuse and a stepping stone to set up tons of sleazy fanservice that the producers can think of! So are we not entertained, you horny perverts?! I mean, what kind of evil bugs harness the power of human’s energy of perversion as their fuel?! I say that is more of a flaw in evolution more than anything else and a convenient tool for fanservice entertainment! So to fight H-energy eating bugs, we use our H-energy to destroy them. That’s like fighting fire with fire. I don’t know. Seems like a far stretch to me. Using perversion to fight perversion should result in more perversion theoretically. But whatever. As long as it works, it isn’t stupid to begin with. Sort of. So there’s your ridiculous (and funny) plot if you can call it so.

Everything here is trying to scream fanservice because that’s what the fans want and that’s why we’re watching this in the first place. Although this won’t be the cheesiest fanservice anime ever, this isn’t technically one of the better ones either. But it’s the only heavily fanservice-y anime of the season so I guess we have to take what is given. You know how it is freaking blatant fanservice when HxEros does the Hulk effect by having their clothes ripped to pieces each time they use their H-energy. That is after all the fastest and most effective way for the characters to lose their clothes in a blink of an eye. Then cue whatever cliché fanservice that needs to be executed. So easy.