Cyclops Shoujo Saipu

November 1, 2013

Based on a yonkoma of the same name, Cyclops Shoujo Saipu may not be ‘lucky’ enough to be given the anime treatment but at least it was adapted into an ONA (original net animation). This means animations that are so short that it leaves you going what-the-hell and before you could warm up your seat, the episode is already over. Really. For this series, it just last for 2 minutes. Two stinking minutes! What good will that do? Well, if you’re in a hurry and need to watch at least some anime with no twisting plot and turns, maybe you can just catch this one just for the sake of watching-an-anime-episode-today. Really. Because it only lasts for 2 minutes. Two minutes. I think I take longer time to brew my coffee. Or brush my teeth. Or even drag myself out of bed in the early morning just to prepare myself for the day. Ahem.

As from the title, our leading lady isn’t really a mythical Greek creature (or based off that mutant guy from X-Men – you’re thinking too much if you really thought of this one). It’s just her nickname. Yes, she is bigger than your average girl for her age but because of her hairstyle, she has been nicknamed Cyclops, or Saipu. Wait a minute. Cyclops have hair? I thought they were bald? Anyway, I thought Saipu meant Cyclops in Japanese but it turns out it wasn’t so. So I am guessing that ‘sai’ is the first word from Cyclops and ‘pu’ is derived from buri or furi which means appearance or style. So how does her hairstyle make her look like a Cyclops? Maybe it’s the way her long flowing hair always cover one eye and leaving the other exposed. Yeah. That’s how. Besides, she doesn’t eat people. Maybe… She only wants to ‘eat’ her brother. Get what I’m saying?

Episode 1
When Saipu was young, she wanted to be the bride of her brother, Hikaru. He agreed. Now that she has all grown up, Hikaru must be regretting what he said because she’s really looking forward to it. Yeah. Her boobs have also tremendously grown. People who don’t know her and learn her name might be frightened she is named after a Cyclops. Saipu drinks milk and eat banana together. What does this erotic scene look like? Maybe Hikaru needs more than a box of tissues to stop his river of nose bleed. Saipu wants to give Hikaru her first time. He is embarrassed since they are siblings. Actually it is her first time baking cake for him. What was he thinking? Anyway it’s delicious.

Episode 2
Hikaru tells us that his sister’s real name is Fuuka but is nicknamed Saipu. Another nose bleeding moment for him when she brushes her teeth in a naked dress shirt. Saipu continues to hug Hikaru from behind. It is annoying because her boobs are pushing against his head. She’s not letting go. Later they meet her friends, Rin Fujisaki and Natsu in the streets. Because Saipu is still hugging Hikaru, they cheekily misinterpret they are interrupting something. Hikaru tries to tell them this is a misunderstanding but they don’t seem convinced. In class, Saipu’s classmate realizes he has forgotten to bring his textbook. Saipu says it’s okay because she too forgot to wear her bra!!! WTF?!

Episode 3
Saipu’s class are out camping. Rin is confident that they can put up the tent in no time because Saipu is with them. Because she can quickly ‘erect a tent in any guy’s crotch’! Everyone ignores her. Rin finds a poisonous mushroom but Saipu says it is edible. She shows it to Natsu and since she is wondering why there is a slit on top making look like a penis, Rin gets cheeky it’s because it’s to resemble that ‘thing’ she likes so much. Natsu threatens to shove it down her throat. That night, Rin attacks Saipu while she is sleeping and uses her breast as a pillow. Since Saipu is dreaming of her brother, she pins her head down with extreme force. Pain or pleasure? When Saipu returns, she gives the mushroom to Hikaru as present. He wonders why it has a slit on top. By the way, it’s edible.

Episode 4
Hikaru would gladly treat Saipu to anything at the festival since he just got paid from his part time job. Her friends want in too. Hope he got a fat pay. When her friends are playing goldfish scoop, they realize the water suddenly turning red. I guess Hikaru’s nose bleed is contaminating it after seeing their cleavage. While watching the fireworks, Saipu wants Hikaru to rest his head on her lap. He is embarrassed and refuses but her friends misinterpret they have already gone that far. In the midst of enjoying the fireworks, Hikaru happen to see Saipu’s busty cleavage. Like it’s about to burst out of that yukata any time. It causes his own red fireworks to launch.

Episode 5
Saipu bugs Hikaru to eat watermelon together. He is not interested and continues sleeping. Because she continues to rub him the wrong way, before he gets more excited, he agrees. They had their fill of watermelon. So full that their stomach is bulging. Saipu thinks this is what it looks and feels to carry a baby and hints to Hikaru to make a baby!!! While looking through the old photo albums, Hikaru notices Saipu’s nipples. Thinking she has caught him in the act, actually she hopes he could freely use that photo. Like hell he will. Browsing more of the album and going through the different stages of Saipu’s life. Suddenly there is a spurt of growth between the elementary 6th year and high school first year. Yeah. It feels like there is something in between missing. Did she really grow this big in that short span of time?

Episode 6
The guys admire Saipu’s long hair. I’m sure that’s not the only thing they admire the most. They lament the girls now wear half pants instead of bloomers. Not wanting to lose out, they use their imagination but can’t do it since they’ve never seen them in one before. Rin challenges the guys to a ball game betting their orange jellies (she wants them). They are reluctant to enter because the girls have Saipu. It’s not that they are scared of losing, they are afraid of getting hit by her. You know her serves pack a punch, right? Till Rin slyly says if they win, she would have let them grope her boobs. Suddenly all the guys unite to do their best! Such simpletons. Although we get to see Saipu’s bouncy boobs in every move she makes, the boys don’t really mind losing because it was all so worth it. I guess it’s a win-win because Rin is happy to have gotten all their orange jellies.

Episode 7
Hikaru is out of body soap so Saipu comes in to refill them. She wants to scrub his back as an apology but is making a very weird hand gesture. Saipu is making those very ambiguous scrubbing and talking. So hard. My technique is pretty good. Enough for every pervert to start fantasizing. Just rubbing his back muscles… Saipu wants to wash his front next but is very disheartened to see ‘it’ no reaction. Does she have to put up such despair look? Was she really looking forward to seeing such reaction? After she leaves, Hikaru thinks back all of Saipu’s sexy parts. He notes it was tough hiding ‘it’ with his thighs. That must hurt…

Episode 8
Rin and Natsu are at the karaoke when the former excuses herself to the toilet. Natsu picks up the microphone and wonders if a guy’s thing is this big. Rin catches her in the act. Natsu starts panicking when Rin pushes her down and goes on top of her. Then she confesses she loves her! She’s going to kiss her! WTF is this yuri development?! Natsu certainly didn’t see this coming! But Rin says she is serious. Really? Nope. Just kidding! She starts pinching her boobs when Saipu walks in. She misinterprets this yuri moment and runs away, feeling guilty she might have ruined their mood. While Rin is devastated, Natsu is grateful for being saved.

Episode 9
Saipu is moody? What gives? So Hikaru misses that old sister of his whereby she would hug him all love-dovey? Yeah. Which brother wouldn’t? He sees drinking from the milk carton so uncouth. She’s letting the milk drip all over her boobs and this arouses Hikaru! While he’s trying to calm himself, Saipu calls him a pervert. Guess what? He’s turned on! Still, he is in a dilemma for this disgusting behaviour of his. Because his thoughts were filled with nothing but Saipu, he was up all night. Looking like a zombie now. But Saipu is back to her lovely self! Hikaru is glad to see this side of hers back he can’t stop smiling. Count your blessings.

Episode 10
Saipu listened to Natsu’s advice about giving her brother the cold shoulder for a day because by the next day, he will totally fall for her. However Hikaru is psycho-ing himself he is a lolicon! Does he understand what he is saying?! And so Saipu is left heart broken when Hikaru continues to snub her! Looks like her hugging pillow with a life size picture of him will just do for now. She realizes she prefers her gentle brother who makes comical jabs at her much more. She barges into his room to apologize. Hikaru saw this coming. Probably. Because it was right before his eyes. When she hugs him, he got faceboob. Things seemingly are getting steamy. Boy on top of girl… But Saipu points out their mom is watching. Oh sh*t!

Episode 11
Natsu is shock to see Saipu in a sexy teacher getup. Rin made her wear them. If you’re wondering if the shirt is too small and any moment the buttons might burst out, it’s because the clothes belonged to Rin’s brother. Rin starts groping Saipu, blaming her sexy appearance is provoking her to get horny. Natsu smacks her because she’s the one who made her dress that way. Rin is bored after 5 minutes into the study so she wants to venture into her brother’s room. Natsu thought Saipu sensei is going to reprimand her but she too joins Rin. Saipu is amazed at all the perverted materials in the room. Rin cheekily hints she is has interest in such perverted stuffs. Then she smacks her butt and calls her a lewd teacher! Saipu gets mad because she points out she is Hikaru’s private lewd teacher. Is that what she is mad about? But it proves that she just admitted she is a pervert, right?

Episode 12
Saipu is so depressed… Gloomy… Rin takes advantage of this and gropes her boobs but she too is devastated. She can tell it has gone smaller from F to E! WTF?! Do boobs shrink when you are depressed?! The friends learn the club president stole Hikaru’s first kiss. Rin notes it is only a kiss and not his virginity but the rest say if someone else kissed the person you like right in front of you, of course you’ll be depressed. What’s more, after all that seduction that never worked and suddenly some b*tch stole his first kiss? Oops. But you know what I mean. However Rin is eager to see if they end up having sex. I shiver to think what kind of extreme fetish she has. So depressed Saipu is that she wants to die! Natsu tries to coax her out of it (like she’s the star of this anime). Rin does her part of the coaxing with a fiery suggestion if her brother steals her first kiss, everything will be fine. Saipu suddenly returns to normal. If that is all what it takes to bring her back… Then they discuss the problems of that guy making the initiative to kiss her. Sex appeal doesn’t work and she can’t kiss him while he is asleep in his room since she is scared of ghosts (is his room haunted?). Rin suggests doing a very lewd one in the morning… What happened to the kiss?

Big Girl, Big Smile, Big Boobs…
Is it that bad? Is it that good? I don’t know. I’ve seen so much of such anime that I can’t really tell anymore. I should have been an expert or close to it but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Because it is short and funny, I guess a guy like me who loves comedy would find it acceptable to laugh for the moment while passing the time. There is no plot to care about. Just random antics. Mostly about Saipu wanting to get into her brother’s good books. Like a double edged sword, because it is short, it doesn’t really leave a lasting impression. Unless they come up with more ONAs or a TV adaptation (which was falsely announced in one of the episodes as a fake alarm), then this is just one of those animes whereby you watch and forget. It doesn’t hurt much if you remember it since it doesn’t take up much brain space (unless every space in your brain must be utilized). If people talk about it and you remember, it’s okay. Otherwise, it’s okay too if you don’t.

Obviously one way of leaving this series to last longer in our minds is the incorporation of fanservice element. This is the other reason why anybody else would watch this in addition to the comedy. Besides, it is funny because of the fanservice. Even the guys in this anime ‘exist’ because of her big boobs. With Saipu as a big busty girl (with an equally big cheery smile), it is hard not to NOT take advantage of her huge boobs and sexy curves. If you’re not simulated, you’re either a lolicon or gay. Saipu’s behaviour is also a bit horny especially she wants to appeal to her brother. Is this the only or fastest way? Well, I guess guys are simple creatures. Sex solves everything. Well, almost. So what keeps Hikaru from turning into a sinful brother? Maybe it’s the thought that Saipu is her sister. Imagine if that happens, then it would have turned into incest. Yeah. I guess there are subtle hints of other fetishes like yuri and netorare (Google it if you don’t know what it means). How long more will it take before Hikaru breaks down and gives in to his temptations? Only time will tell. And then maybe Saipu will have her wish of marrying her brother come true. Or not. Because he could be prison by then. Haha!

It doesn’t help since Rin is a troublemaker-cum-pervert. And with Saipu being a little dense, Rin gets her way most of the time by rubbing her breasts. Natsu might be the voice of reason but the rest hardly listens to this ‘normal girl’. She might be a closet pervert, though. Like they say, still waters run deep. Almost every eye-catch picture you see is a sexy fanservice scene of Saipu. Whether in a very revealing or skimpy outfit or in some position trying to appeal to us. Also regarding the eye-catch pictures part, sometimes the way they say “Saipu”, it makes it sound cute but at other times it may sound annoying. Especially when Mai Nakahara (the voice of Saipu – like doing a cute render of Fairy Tail’s Juvia) says it slowly and staggering, it just feels creepy. Although I think she wants to make it sound lusty but the lack of that breathy feel makes it seem more kiddie instead.

I wonder if Saipu isn’t really bothered about the meaning of her nickname. Unless she thinks Cyclops are nice and cute creatures. You can thank anime and Disney for having little girls around the world to have distorted perception of Cyclops. Otherwise, how can a cute girl like her easily accept such an un-cute nickname. Well it is a good thing that hairstyle of hers is only covering one eye. Because if it covers both eyes, it would make her look like Sadako from The Ring! Yikes! That would be much scarier and this would turn into some horror comedy instead. Any seduction attempts would resemble more like a scare. Hmm… Haunting-like girl with big boobs… Mmm… Now that’s a combination I’ve never seen before.

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