I was sceptical in watching Tenka Hyakken Meiji-kan E Youkoso at first. I didn’t think it would be my cup of tea despite the intriguing premise of hot babes maidens who are physical incarnations of ancient swords. They were living the peaceful life after the end of the war but a new battle will soon take place with the appearance of a new enemy from an alternative timeline. Looks okay at first. Until I read another synopsis that says that due to the recent events and hard training, they decide to accomplish a large change. Change into maid outfits! Oh wow! That’s it! I gotta see what this is all about.

Episode 1
We see the Masamune sisters of Houchou, Horinuki and Sukashi sneezing. Each time they do so, the plates break! They start blaming each other but more importantly… They need to hide! Seriously, they think this would work? So when Kuwana Gou and Goou Yoshimitsu try to find the cause of it, you’d think the sisters hiding under the bed would mean the storm would pass over. Until they sneeze… Dead giveaway… They get lectured by their big sister, Jouizumi. The little ones insist they don’t know anything about it. Yeah, but they’re the ones who started it, right? It is revealed that Goou might be the culprit as she released some pollen chemical in the air. Yeah, they’re allergic to pollen so what? Swords can’t beat pollen? But this means this round of sneeze has all the windows broken! I guess the business for today will be closed…

Episode 2
Sukashi admires Jouizumi and envisions her as the perfect flower. Her other sisters catch her in the act of peeping. During lunchbreak, Sukashi thinks how cool it would be if she could be like Jouizumi. Hence the rest has this devilish idea to let her imitate her. First, the looks. Yup, those heavy makeup makes her look more like a clown. Next, her coolness has Sukashi being turned her taller with boobs. Yeah, they can’t stop laughing. But it’s no laughing matter when Jouizumi finds out what they’re doing. Later, Jouizumi is concerned because is that what Sukashi’s vision of her looks like? Of course not! Sukashi feels down that she is beyond her reach. So Jouizumi that even if she is imitating her, she will soon find her own new self. If she ever loses herself, big sister will be glad to help. Now Jouizumi has ascended to an angelic status in Sukashi’s eyes.

Episode 3
Yayoi hosts a contest to see who can brag how cute Tsuda Echizen No Kami Sukehiro is. So the only contestants are her doting mom, Soboro and the Masamune sisters? And the prize is of course Tsuda herself. Mom would sure love to brag about her daughter’s cuteness but that will take about 3 days… So we get this short Q&A with Soboro why she’s so cute. And then we have the Masamune trio relating their memories with her. Who the f*ck is this robot loli?! Yayoi then mentions about producing dolls and many people have already pre-ordered them. Because Tsuda wants them cancelled, it seems this is predicted by the rest. Hence broken-hearted mama cries because she ordered them and the rest wants Tsuda to say something. All going as planned… Yeah, the whole tournament is just to setup Tsuda to say something thoughtful. Like, mom, you already have me, don’t you? Mommy so happy.

Episode 4
The Masamune sisters are soaking in the hotspring. When Kuwana joins in, Horinuki feels intimidated. With those huge jugs, I can see why. But Houchou then sleeps in her boobs and asks how they can grow big like her. I believe she’s talking about her boobs rather than overall growth, right? She assures them there is no rush as they will all eventually grow up just like them when they were their age. Then this is like the signal. Kuwana complaining her shoulders are stiff because of her heavy boobs. The trio decide to help give her a massage. She can’t say no, right? My, those hands are massaging at illicit places… And you thought hotsprings are supposed to be a place for relaxation and healing…

Episode 5
It’s Halloween. So Gokotai Yoshimitsu, and the Toushirou sisters, Midare, Gotou and Namazuo think they can get free sweets by doing trick or treat. However this concept is very alien to the Masamune sisters so they don’t understand what is happening. The quartet are also confused. Thinking they should put on a cute show, after Gokotai does so, the Masamune sisters think the mask on their head is controlling them. Hence they destroy the carved pumpkin decoration whom they believe is the main culprit. Nothing happens. More confusion. Then they show the Halloween flyer. Relieved that they are not being controlled, but they destroyed the store decoration. Jouizumi in depression because she worked hard to make that…

Episode 6
Horinuki and Sukashi fall sick. With everyone out for errands, Houchou is left to nurse them. It is hard for her to do some of the stuffs but she tries her best and doesn’t give up. When night falls, the duo are feeling much better. Goou is watching them and notes that it is thanks to Houchou that they got better. Houchou remains sceptical that she did anything big but Goou points out because she did it with her heart, that is the best treatment and medicine that anyone can get. Goou is proud of Houchou for doing a fine job and can count on her to do things when she is away.

Episode 7
When Kogarasumaru receives a letter, Nukemaru teases it is a love letter and gets scolded. She isn’t fazed since she has gotten used to her scolding. She is proud of that? The Masamune sisters think Nukemaru is a ninja and hopes she could show them a trick. After putting up a cheap disappearing trick, the sisters go in search for her. Of course they easily find her since stupid Nukemaru thinks she really blended in with the wall. Nukemaru then escapes with the sisters hot on her tail. Thing is, Nukemaru barges through the walls and leaves behind holes in it. Until they reach Kogarasumaru’s room. She gets angry and so the usual technique of running away from it. Retreat! No what are they going to do with all the holes all over the place?

Episode 8
Goou, Kuwana and Jouizumi are having tea together and talking about stuffs. Yup, just that. From hair split ends to a new tea sample they will receive soon and more hair care. YAWN!!!!!

Episode 9
It seems the girls are in trouble. Goou is manning mission control over this emergency threat. However it is too late as Momijigari Kanemitsu and Inaba Gou have already infiltrated the place. It all began because Momijigari ate Inaba’s rice without permission. So they launch a few bread missiles towards Inaba but she will not be defeated until she eats rice! Hence Momijigari goes to tickle Inaba as part of her self-sacrifice so that they could launch all the bread missiles at them. They get a direct hit and some weird reconciliation that they want to really eat rice together. Turns out to be a dream from Houchou. WTF. Trolled us. And both those girls are indeed enjoying their rice together.

Episode 10
It’s a BBQ party. Of course when meat is involved, it is not going to be civil. So we see all the girls using their special skills to try and take the meat. Hope they don’t destroy the place. But Kuwana may have gone overboard as she summons rain. The fire’s put out… When BBQ resumes, so does the war. Not sure what the Masamune sisters Trick Or Meat totem pole ability is supposed to do but they lost anyway. More stealing and eating and as the BBQ reaches its climax, Jouizumi realizes she hasn’t eaten much. So she decides to eat the final cut slices in one strike. She burns everything. Though the meat is nicely grilled, everyone else is burnt to a crisp. Toasty!

Episode 11
We have a weird adaptation of that Kaguya-hime folklore but with the Masamune sisters as the titular character. So born out of bamboo, they aimed for the moon, flew there in their rocket but upon reaching it, the dazzling moonlight has them recall some flashback. Something about their low self-esteem and thus the reason they couldn’t reach the moon previously. And some weird fight with their other selves (pie in face?) until they realize they can do it. And once they accepted each other, they decided to head for the moon. Upon arriving on the moon, there is nothing. The end.

Episode 12
It’s Christmas. The Masamune sisters have got presents for Jouizumi and co. Houchou gives Goou a doll. Uhm, it looks ugly… But if Goou finds it cute, so be it. Horinuki gives Kuwana a book. Lastly, Houchou gives Jouizumi and apple perfume. Of course they love their presents and they too got a surprise in store for the sisters. They also have presents for them and it is matching ribbons. Looking great, girls. Merry Christmas, everybody!

Dull Broken Blades
WTF did I just watch? WTF is the meaning of this entire series anyway?! Thankfully the shorts are only 3 minutes long but it still pains me that it achieved really nothing. All I have seen are just random standalone fillers that are supposed to be funny but failed to even make me chuckle. Instead, most of my face was like in WTF mode written all over. To be fair, I am guessing that this series is adapted from a popular mobile game and perhaps only diehard fans can appreciate what all those random skits are. They might pick up some references from the game too. But even so, I don’t think all that I have seen here has anything close to the premise that I said in my opening paragraph. It was probably the premise for the game but not the anime. Hey, when they animated this series, nobody knew what it was going to be about or at least which story or route it was adapting. But now we know.

In short, this series failed to make any impact on me who has never heard of the game before and after the season ended, I am sure not having the slightest interest to go check out it even though I have no intention to even play it if I have a sliver of interest. Okay, it did expose to others that there is such a series but if it was going to attract newer players to the game to then further increase the popularity of the game, I don’t think this anime did a good job. Thus, definitely you have not played the game and now nothing about the series, you will for sure be lost while watching this. I know, I was. You thought being short, random and funny would do the trick but apparently sad to say it did not. So basically from what I can see, it’s just girls just wanna have fun. Make that, sword girls just wanna have fun.

Worse still, the characters whom you just can’t relate to anything and don’t even make any significant impact. As said, only players who are familiar with the game might feel some sort of relevance and connection but to others outside this game, we are totally alien to everything. We can’t find any reason to support or even hate any of the characters. We just don’t care. And for a short series, they really introduced a lot of these characters. Some making their appearance once or twice while some like the Masamune sisters make more appearances because I have a feeling they are the main characters of the series. Oh right. That promotional poster must be the dead giveaway.

Anyhow, the series doesn’t try hard enough to even want to make you care for them. Because their names themselves are already hard to remember if you’re not into the Meiji era Japanese-like names and terms. So it was hard for me to remember who is who and especially with that kind of unique names, I keep forgetting them and had to multiple times check back again their name. I know their names are not as bad as certain names that sound like tongue twisters, but like I have said, the problem is that they did not give us any sort of motivation to care and hence there is no reason why we would even remember their names. That is why like yours truly found it so hard just to remember which one is Jouizumi, which one is Goou, which one is Kuwana. By the time I think I finally know who they are, the series is over. Phew. Thank goodness. And for those that appear only once, I guess they’re all forgotten once the episode ends. Hence I feel that other real swords like those in Sword Art Online, Fate/Stay Night, Bleach, Rurouni Kenshin and Inu Yasha have better personalities then them!

The art and animation are just rather mediocre. Nothing that I would really want to complain or nit-pick but nothing that I would also call good and decent. Overall it feels that most of the visuals are like sketches. I don’t know if it is a good idea because sometimes I think because of the sketchy art, it is an excuse to hide mediocre animation and its quality. Just saying. There was one part they used CGI on the characters and visually they look okay, the animation part felt weird. Do they even need to do this gimmick? Worse, the maid outfits aren’t the kind that I favour. Well, got to be fair, this is the Meiji era so in that era we have those kind of Meiji-like outfits even for maids. This show is animated by Lidenfilms who did Yamada And The Seven Witches, Koi To Uso, Tejina-senpai, Kishuku Gakkou No Juliet and Killing Bites.

There is only the opening theme for this series, Aka Hana Wo Sakasete by Ohanamishuu Tsubaki-gumi. While this rock piece sounds rather okay, my only gripe with it is how the series loves to cut off the song before it is finished. I guess that’s the only ‘unique’ thing this anime has that stands out from the others. I believe that this is done so to fit in the skits. Some are (slightly) longer than others so in order to fit it exactly 3.5 minutes for each episode, hence the sudden abruption and ending of the song so that we could get on with the story without further delay. Yeah, I think the characters who interrupted the song also made jokes about it eventually (which I sometimes too don’t get it). Uh huh. Time’s up. Time means money and we don’t have the budget to go more than 3.5 minutes per episode. However they played what I think is the full song for the final episode that lasts 1.5 minutes and taking up half of the final episode’s running time. I don’t think it’s their way of making it up for those abrupt cuts but rather the final episode has nothing much to tell so they inserted this to make up for the remainder of time.

Overall, this is one of the worst and boring animes of the season and possibly the year. Sometimes I want to complain that they clickbaited me with hot chicks in maid outfits and a deceiving plot summary but thinking in retrospect, I only have myself to blame for being such a gullible idiot who didn’t put much thought into deliberation. Oh yeah. How bad can 3 minutes per episode be? Yeah… Oh well, we deserve each other. I don’t know now if fans of the mobile game would actually appreciate this monstrosity but I certainly know that with this kind of blades, I think the enemy would not need to put in any effort to wipe them all out in one fell swoop. Yup, pretty disappointing. After all, swords are not meant to serve others in a maid café in the first place.

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