Agent Aika

Yeah… I know what I’m getting into when I decided to go watch this retro OVA series, Agent Aika. Uh huh. Fanservice galore of the 90’s! Who cares about the profession of our titular character who is working as some Salvager to salvage lost items from the ocean’s deep. It’s just one of those excuse why our ladies need to don the swimsuit and parade in them around with their sexy curvaceous body. Who needs a plot when you can gawk and stare at all the cheesy fanservice, tits and ass shots and all because that’s the only thing that you’ll find focusing the most. Oh, there’s a plot? What plot?! Just stare at those asses and you can’t go wrong!

Episode 1
A tour guide has the tourist view the submerged Tokyo city. Also, there are lights beneath this underwater ghost town as Salvagers are working to salvage lost items. Among them is Aika Sumeragi and Rion Aida. As soon as they salvage a suitcase, it is snatched by bitter rivals, Gust Turbulence and B.A. Bandora. He wants Aika to date him if she wants her package. Of course she won’t date this rich playboy. Only an underground explosion stops their tussle. As Rion hands over the suitcase to the client, he will only pay half price since it is damaged. She would have beaten it up had not Gouzo, her boss-cum-father stop her. He tells her about the pride of being a Salvager but as a realist, Rion reminds him it doesn’t pay their bills. A client then calls him and for the umpteenth time, he turns him down on this dangerous mission. It’s not about the money. But Aika snatches the phone and will take up this job! Money > Pride. As they go meet the client, it seems Gust is also hired for this job. They are to retrieve data and/or sample of Lagu. The reward is very handsome. As they leave, they are ambushed by Nena Hagen and her hot chick goons. Of course Aika and Gust fight them off so Nena warns they are also after Lagu and to keep their noses out if they know what’s good for them. Naturally, Aika won’t listen and will still go ahead. Before she leaves, boss talks to her and it is hinted that Aika still feels responsible of putting him out of the game, that’s why she still worked under him. Though, he doesn’t hold any grudge against her. Damn, Aika flying some jet without any gear and can pilot it with her thighs?! Only in the air did she realize Rion snuck on board. You mean she didn’t even notice?! Rion throws a tantrum when Aika wants to turn back and not let her help on this mission. Until Gust zooms past her that Aika just doesn’t care anymore. Do what you wish. Nena and her team are on board some destroyer. Detecting those jets, she has her goons fire missiles. I guess they’re bad at aiming so Nena herself takes to the skies and shoots down Gust. Her brother, Rudolf Hagen has detected they are in the vicinity of Lagu and orders her to come back. As she is stubborn, she continues hunting Aika. I suppose it is Lagu’s weird waves that cause the jets to stop working. Nena ejects and Aika’s plane must be so old it has no eject seat. Nosedive! Hence her weird outfit automatically activates. WTF this weird tentacle rape transformation scene turning Aika into some hot tropical island chick to better pilot and land the jet! Wow. Super. Once on the island, Aika and Hagen’s eyes come into contact. So close…

Episode 2
Nena tries to act tough and beat up Aika but gets her ass handed to her instead. She wanted to get revenge but Hagen takes a liking for Aika and welcomes her on board. He tells his sister to go find Lagu instead. So this sphere thingy is Lagu? Hagen explains to Aika that it has some sort of power that caused that world catastrophe 20 years ago. Earthquakes and volcanoes and the likes. Many cities destroyed. You could say that Japan was one its victims. He then shows Aika a laser beam using Lagu’s power that disintegrates metal into nothing. Though this is just a military toy, he believes Lagu has more potential than this. One of them being restoration of Earth. Hence Lagu is like the vaccine to rid of the infection that is humans. Now that he has Lagu, he couldn’t care less about his military colleagues and wants to move on to his next stage of research. He wants Aika to join him. Uhm, I don’t think the right way to convince a woman to join you is to molest her body! Aika is not interested in anything except Lagu’s data. He gives her some time to think but in the meantime he goes to have incest with Nena?! She is jealous of Aika and wants to kill him but I guess she loves him too much to do that. Meanwhile Gus sneaks in to rescue Aika. Thanks to all the useless goons, he easily incapacitates them. All of them. Yeah, they’re so incompetent that they left ‘unconscious’ Rion alone when their shift is over! So Rion can sneak around in their clothes and eavesdrop some juicy details. Then she stumbles into a strange girl, Maypia Alexymetalia. She might be a spy because she sneaks into some restricted area to take pictures. They are caught by a guard but thanks to the alert being sounded, they use this excuse to ‘return to their post’. During the commotion, Nena is so angry she trashes her room while drunk? So now Hagen is going to have sex with Aika? Sex in exchange for the data?! Yeah, he’s interested in her outfit too that has this rare Ultranate Metal. Sex interrupted when Gus comes in to rescue her. It’s not what you think but thanks to his timing, she manages to steal the data and escape with Gus. Outside, the guards corner her. Drunk Nena wants to take it all out on her. When Gus tries to protect Aika, Aika instead protects him. She got stabbed in the shoulder. This activates her suit and super Aika now tentacle whips everybody! Hagen is amazed seeing all this so he fires some beam at her to neutralize it and revert Aika back to normal. He wants Aika retrieved. You can kill the man.

Episode 3
Amazingly Bandora flies in. You don’t think your puny semi-autos can take it down, huh? Gust takes Aika and escape in the jet. Meanwhile Rion follows Maypia and learns she is some super spy. Yeah, here comes the teasing of how a spy has a business card! Crawling through the ventilation, they arrive at the Lagu reactor that serves as the ship’s main power source. Aika wakes up from this dream of some explosive action with Gouzo. Too dark and blur to make things out but she activated her suit. She realizes Rion is left behind and wants to go rescue her. In that weak condition? Gust relents but after she gets her strength back. And man, that was fast because Bandora is taking them there. Also, Hagen has created some pantsu based on Ultranate and is supposed to be a lot more times powerful. Gee, so fast? He wants Nena to wear them. Since the military threatens to use force to take Lagu from Hagen, I suppose they don’t know what he can do, huh? So Hagen proclaims to his crew that they will soon take off to the skies and use Lagu to purify Earth. He maintains nothing will be destroyed in this operation. But first, take down those pesky military ships. Uh huh. After destroying the main ship, other ships flee. Now you see the power of Lagu? And Maypia is frustrated her higher ups have abandoned her because it’s her mission to destroy this reactor. So as the submarine prepares to turn into a rocket and take off, Maypia opens the hatch so she can escape (you mean main control can’t close it and Nena have to go down herself?). Sorry, Rion. This jetpack is only single seat. But Rion holds onto her until Maypia crashes outside somewhere! Then Rion gets arrested by the hot chicks. At the same time, here comes Bandora’s jet carrying Aika and Gust. I don’t even know how this is possible that the duo drop in despite all the turbulence. Unfortunately Gust is blown away while Aika manages to sneak in before the hatch closes. The rocket takes off and destroys Bandora’s jet but not before she ejects. Good to know that Gust and Maypia are still alive stranded on the island below. Aika is now in but is suddenly strangled by… Pantsu tentacles?! Is this Nena’s Ultranate?! Damn, why does Nena like a discount version of Rutian Twi’lek Jedi Master, Aayla Secura?!

Episode 4
Gouzo manages to convince his employer to lend a shuttle so they can go up and rescue Aika. Hagen explains to Rion about his plan to beam Lagu down and activate earthquakes and destroy civilization. This ship is like Noah’s Ark and has DNA of all other life forms. Yeah, in addition to replenishing other life on this planet, Hagen is going to have his utopia paradise. No wonder all his crew are hot chicks only. Rion will not have a part in his perverted plan and is taken away. Aika manages to distract Nena and run away. Luckily she bumps into Rion but their reunion is short-lived as Nena is back to beat them up. This causes Aika’s Ultranate to activate as she transforms before Rion’s eyes. Aika laments she doesn’t want to see her in this form. However Rion is ecstatic with this transformation. It’s like anime! Then the Ultranate babes slug it out. With Bandora managing to dock onto the rocket, Gust places bombs everywhere while Gouzo has Maypia guide him around the ship. The more Nena gets desperate to defeat Aika, suddenly her Ultranate goes out of control and she starts melting. Ugh. Gross. I suppose no humans are supposed to withstand the fusion with Ultranate, huh? Hagen manages to neutralize Aika and narrates about some research into this Ultranate. It could have been the perfect weapon had not it claimed the lives of many researchers. It is rumoured that Aika is the only survivor but that data was lost during the great disaster. Now that Nena is of no use to him, he wants Aika to work on his behalf. Damn, this guy got the guts to kiss her?! Got too close that the Ultranate stabs him! Just desserts when Nena clings on to him and won’t let him go. Eventually fusing and absorbing him as one. With the Lagu reactor going out of control, you bet the mission is a failure. Don’t want hot chicks to go down with the ship now that their captain is done for, huh? Abandon ship! With our heroes meeting up just in time and escape right before the rocket explodes. Phew. Humanity is saved.

Episode 5
I guess the salvaging business is doing great that Gouzo hired another staff, Shuntaro Michikusa. Also, to appreciate their contribution, Gouzo has them stay at an island resort. Of course on this resort are also ex-Hagen babes (collectively known as Delmo). One of them doing a total makeover as a man. Pierre Valimore bumps into Aika and charms her way into Aika’s heart. Rion is jealous but there is nothing she can do. While Pierre takes Aika out on a date, the other Delmo babes kidnap Rion and Michikusa. Damn, Aika must be an easy woman to end up kissing Pierre! Finally going back to the hotel, Pierre drugs her drunk and brings her back to his room. Unfortunately no naughty time because Aika realizes the other Delmo babes surrounding her. Led by Bianca, they are here for revenge and killing her won’t be enough. They want to humiliate her. Isn’t that too much revelation for a bad guy? Yeah, villain fail 101. And Aika realizes Pierre is a woman, Valerie. First, they toss Rion and Michikusa into the pool to drown them to make Aika in despair. But Aika surprises them and jumps down several levels to save them and also beat up those lowly babes. Nothing like pool water to sober you up, huh? Then some weird chase throughout the resort begins. Aika has her fast rematch with Valerie. Why she gets knocked out so easily? I guess this means she gets to fight Bianca. But the fight too doesn’t last long as sore loser Bianca calls for air support. Uhm, more like armoured tanks being dropped? WTF?! Damn, can armoured tanks run rampant around the resort? I guess one of them being dumb enough for Aika to hijack. Damn they’re blowing up the resort like nobody’s business! And then Aika has a sneaky trick that has Bianca shoot directly at her. Wow. You mean Aika didn’t die from the explosion? So when Bianca gets close and let her guard down, surprise mother*cker! One hard kick to the guts to knock her out. And as soon dawn arrives, Aika and co leave the island. It’s not over yet as those Delmo chicks have yet another operation in hand.

Episode 6
Wow. The enemies talking about the need to gather data on Aika so they can defeat her. A good idea. But I’m worried about the execution… And so we see a couple of Delmo girls in disguise seeking Gouzo’s request for a salvaging mission. They heard Aika is the best in the field and they require her. So it’s off to some cold land, presumably Russia? The modified jet Aika will use for the probe is currently being piloted by a young girl, Rie Petroyikowa. So to see if Aika is fit to the task, Rie does a lot of physical examinations on her including Twister while being taken pictures in sexy compromising positions. Damn, Aika must be a fool to think there isn’t something wrong with this. Rion is so jealous about this but her hunch might be right when she starts pulling the skirt of one of the staffs. This leads to her discovering they are Delmo babes in disguise. Yeah, WTF are they wearing their uniform underneath those clothes?! So when she goes to spill the beans to Aika, cue for Rie to admit everything and also spill the beans they want her data. Villain fail 101 again. Rie now needs data on Aika’s fighting skills so she sets some of the Delmo girls to go fight her. Of course you can tell Aika will easily despatch those goons. They’re so useless that Gouzo despite being drunk and singing karaoke, they can’t even hit him while he hits them back in his drunken stupor! I don’t even think this is drunken fist! More villainy fails when Rie shows some of the recorded intimate moments of probing inside Aika. WTF?! Shoot the screen! Rie fights Aika and claims she has studied her moves. Yeah, didn’t see this choker move coming, huh? Then it boils down to chasing after the data. Yeah, all saved in this precious diskette! Rie runs to the Commander to give the data. Along the way, Aika takes out more Delmo girls until she arrives at the final big boss. So why are they doing this? So now that Hagen is gone, they have no reason to exist and this is so called pride? So they don’t have a life? I just don’t get it… Anyway, more Aika acrobats and high kicks to knock them out. Not even the Commander stand a chance. Oddly, Rie who was fighting her a while ago is now cowering in fear? I guess mission complete when Aika destroys the diskette. As they leave via jet, Rie is not done yet. WTF she brings out this SAM artillery right in the middle of the runway to shoot them????!!! Not sure what Aika did to disable her HUDs and Gouzo shooting some blunt object at her, this knocks her out as she misfires and destroys some other jet. Sleep tight, Rie. And the rest take off back home. What a weird misadventure…

Episode 7
Gouzo talks to Rion about her future. He doesn’t want her to continue this salvaging business but she insists she wants to. Meanwhile Aika is working hard back at the office but suddenly a power outage! Should have saved those 4 hours of work! Of course this isn’t just an accident. Freddy Krueger Delmo babe is trying to kill her! Damn, they really wreck the place. When Gouzo and Rion return, the enemy is just about to escape. WTF Rion standing in the middle of the road?! Gouzo pushes her away and gets run over! OMG! Worse, since when did they plant bombs around the office and boom!!! Entire building collapses! You mean this isn’t anything serious because after the fireman and ambulance, next day no police to cordon off the freaking area???!!! And why are the other buildings unaffected?! Where are all the other people?! So you can’t blame Michikusa for coming to work and suddenly no office. Yeah, Rion sifting through the rubble to find Aika. Only her earring. Damn, this girl wants revenge and drags Michikusa into her scheme. I don’t even know how Gust knows Aika is dead and is crying his heart out. Bumping into Rion, she wants his help in this revenge plan but Bandora says some pretty good advice that she shouldn’t be doing this to make Gouzo sadder (he’s hospitalized, you know). What does Gust have to say? He’ll help Rion in her revenge plan! You’re on your own. Bandora’s out. But where do they start? It seems Michikusa knows a former super spy… Yup. Maypia! How the heck does he know her? I don’t think they’re dating. With Delmo’s base located in some rocky island, our revenge team heads there only to be intercepted. Yeah… Stupid enemies didn’t even make sure they’re dead so nature washes them up nicely on shore as they get their revenge plan going by stealing some weapons and then run havoc throughout the base! Eventually they face off with Bianca and Rie but the duo let them handle Sania and Tonia (that Freddy Krueger girl). All of them got owned. Before they could be killed, cue for Aika in her Ultranate version to the rescue! Yeah, didn’t think she was dead, huh? Besides, she has been running wild too throughout the base. She beats up those Delmo girls and before you could say boss fight with Commander, shockingly she is not going to fight Aika. Heck, she doesn’t want her comrades to be further injured and calls off this operation. It’s about time she realizes that! But oh no! What will they exist for? Who knows… Anyway, everybody agrees to abandon base and never come into contact with Aika again. Gee, that was easy and so anti-climactic. Why must the base self-destruct? In the aftermath, we see our usuals continue to go about their salvaging job. Life goes on.

Special
Sometimes dubbed episode 4.5, this short takes place around the time Gouzo’s company moved into their new building. Aika is moving the boxes and hopes Rion can help but she insists to let the new recruit do it. Well, that guy seems to be busy taking photos with high school girls who think he is hot! Until Rion kicks his ass, a signal for those girls to get the heck out of here! Rion really wants to do a promo video for the company. It’ll bring in the money too. However Michikusa spoils it that they don’t have the capacity to handle it so Rion beats him up. Uhm, did becoming a punching bag is part of his job description? Because as Rion continues to explain how to promo video would look like (fighting terrorists?) and Michikusa commenting how it is so spy-ish, once more she beats him up. Rion continues to dream to be a super agent like Aika. Imagine Rion in skimpy sexy outfit and doing all those kung fu chops. Yeah… When Gouzo returns, Rion bugs dad to do a promotional video. He agrees. Hooray! However… A promo video needs a song. See where this is going? Yup, looks like he just wants to sing. And a duet with Aika! I guess we’re not getting the promo video Rion wants.

Aika R-16: Virgin Mission

10 years later, a prequel spinoff OVA, Aika R-1: Virgin Mission was released with some few changes. But the same ol’ panty and crotch shots remain the same and bountiful.

Episode 1
Aika has gotten her C-licence as a Salvager. Gouzo doesn’t seem pleased on how she got the licence with that skills. So, uhm, feel it with your ass? Since when he is a dirty old pervert? We take a peek at Aika’s school life. Well, despite living in the dorm right across the school, she manages to always come in late. For the 30th day in a row! Hence teacher, Nagisa Risako reprimands her to clean all school windows. Aika later realizes her posters of offering her Salvager services are being torn down by class rep, Eri Shinkai and her goons. Don’t want that kind of cheap service to ruin the class’ reputation, huh? Yeah, they argue till Risako had to remind them they’re already late for class! Is this going on their permanent records? Later Eri brings Aika to her treasure hunting club in which she is a president. I guess rich girls have weird tastes of art, huh? Tempting Aika to pilot some mini sub she likes, so what’s the catch for this mission? I guess everybody gets the wrong idea when Eri starts stripping the top of Karen Minamino. This isn’t a club about starring at boobs! Look closer! At her boobs? No! There’s a butterfly mark on her boobs! Looking even closer, the mark is made out of numbers and based on some deduction Eri did, it leads to an encryption that spells out, “The gate of truth will be opened by the sleeping butterfly” accompanied by coordinates. So we’re assuming there is going to be some treasure here so it’s treasure hunting time.

Taking a cruise ship there, Captain points out a ‘problem’. Gust, the young butler has trouble serving Risako because she’s so sexy at every turn, he has boners all the time. Yeah… Apparently Risako is the advisor for this club so you bet she’s tagging along. Captain discusses with Eri that the coordinates of this location is very dangerous. Something like the Bermuda Triangle. But Eri equates danger with the romance of adventure and loves it. Captain reminds her he has a job as instructed by her father to keep her safe. If it gets too dangerous, they’ll turn back. Later Aika asks Eri how she found out about Karen. So basically she got curious of a lonely girl living alone and stalked her? Meanwhile several girls are being knocked out and hypnotized by Risako. Some of them try to take out Aika and Eri but luckily they manage to dodge the tranquilizers fast enough and Aika knocking them out. So this device in their ass is what’s making them like obeying zombies? Risako has tranquilized Karen and is trying to kidnap her. Captain stalls her before she gets away in her helicopter, enough time for Aika to come rescue Karen. She is shocked that Risako is doing this so sensei tells her today’s lesson that she should be sceptical of other people. Then they just let her get away? I guess she didn’t get Karen so that’s okay? Captain wants Eri to call off this mission but she is excited to carry on. She loves the danger of where this adventure is heading. She threatens to fire him if he abandons this mission. Captain hopes Aika could say something to her but unfortunately, she is hired by Eri. She’s the boss. She calls the shots.

Episode 2
Risako reports back to her boss about her failure. However he isn’t panicking yet because Karen has friends who would also protect her. So I’m guessing there’ll be another chance. Meanwhile… Naked girls baring their ass?! Is this the way to examine the mind controlling device? Karen somehow knows it will disappear within 2-3 days and will leave no mark. It’s just her guts saying. And now for the much awaited beach episode. Sexy young girls in swimsuits having fun while the guys do all the work surveying the ocean floor… I’m okay with this! Soon, one by one the girls start dropping like flies. Looks like Risako is here to cause trouble. Only Aika, Karen and Gust remain conscious. After using Gust as distraction to take out the sniper, Risako despatches her sexy hot babes to fight Aika. She manages to get by with the help of Karen’s lousy golfing. Aika then faces off with Risako who tells her there are some things that should be kept a secret and never revealed. Not that Aika would listen to her anyway. Both ladies fight and Risako has the overwhelming edge. Had not Karen help out with that grilled lobster distraction, Aika wouldn’t have the chance to fight back and land her high kick on her. Risako is tied up and because she won’t talk, Karen shoots her! Oh, just tranquilized her. Karen knows there are transmitters in Risako’s bikini and rips them out. She talks through it and knows who is behind this. It seems Karen knows she doesn’t remember much of her past. She wants to regain her full memories and discover who she really is so that she can take control of her future. Now that it’s time to head to the ocean floor, I guess Eri’s clubmates are still out cold so they can’t go. Yeah, they even took in Risako’s hot babes. So many naked women on this ship! Damn, the guys must be really guy because their resistance game is strong! Anyway, Aika now manages to pilot the mini sub as Eri and Karen join her as they submerge deeper towards the ocean floor.

Episode 3
There are runway airport lights down there? I understand if this is some submerged city but the lights are still working?! Anyway, Karen knows where to go. Just follow the green lights! This leads them to the lowest level. A huge warehouse-like area. Aika tries to be careful but Eri and Karen are like touching and activating things on their own. Gee, the lights and electronics of this place are still working so well? Aika is shocked that Eri knows he way around because all of it was described on Karen’s map. Sure, that doesn’t mean she’s a pro since this is her first time down here! With Aika arguing with her for the details, better catch up with Karen or she’ll leave you behind. Then they talk about some legend about a meteor carrying alien life form crashing onto Earth. The life form implanted themselves into humans and as a result, infected ones became very intellectual but regressed in the physical areas. Arriving at a huge door, they notice the pattern similar as the mind control devices of those girls’ asses. So if you have forgotten that sleeping butterfly key, here it is. Karen lets Eri tranquilize her and once she is undressed, she is placed in a chamber in which the scanner scans her entire naked body. Since it is a perfect match, the door opens. Great. An even bigger place with many pods. Nothing like checking out the convenient computer next to it. So I guess this is where that alien life form comes into the picture. They discover clone cells and that this place is researching those intellectual alien cells in hopes of cultivating them so that humans could be able to develop. Hooray! Your discovery of the century! Then they gets spooked when Karen suddenly pops up before them. Not just 1 Karen but many Karens! Yeah, they’re all clones. I suppose they’re not the friendly kind as they start attacking. Aika goes into action knocking them out. Finally a really huge Karen! Titan Karen?! I don’t think it is affective trying to fight it but at least something has to be done. Aika gets knocked out and before she could be squished, the real Karen wakes up and ‘communicates’ with it. With the clones backing down, Karen learns the shocking truth that she is also a clone and ‘born’ here. I guess there’s nothing left to discover and it’s time to head back home. After they leave, the clones return to their slumber. Finally all the runway lights are turned off. Back on the ship, Karen is sad that her memories weren’t real. Aika and Eri cheer her up that they can make new memories together. Lots of them.

Aika Zero

Episode 1
We see a girl stumbling upon an alien ship underground. Then she gets tentacle raped! Tentacles in the form of light beams?! A year later, we see a group of girls being ushered into a chapel and then being groped by girls in white. Is this chapel just a façade for some lesbian club? After liking their boobs, thighs and asses, that tentacle beam then infiltrates their asses!!! I can see why nobody can stay awake after that. Then they hear a plane hovering over. It is Aika piloting it but something hit her. Luckily she manages to land without any trouble. That dent on the body, I suppose a bird can’t make that, right? Meanwhile the army tasks some officer (Hagen?!) to investigate some UFO hitting a civilian plane. Aika is reunited with Eri, Karen and Risako. It seems Eri has once more hired Aika for another case. This time the case of disappearing high school girls. It started a year ago and it has claimed its 30th victim. Although the girls are returned, they lose their memories. Part of the plan is for Aika to wear their uniform and infiltrate. Upon entering, those girls in white start their usual lesbian stuff. Aika runs away but not before she drops that eraser that serves as a mini surveillance bug. However soon after, it stops functioning. Don’t tell me Aika has to go back and get molested again?! We’ll think of something… As Aika and Karen walk by, a group of drama girls suddenly attack them. Nothing like a few good chops to put them out, eh? And then entering the chapel again, the girls in white attack but still no match for Aika. If you’re wondering why Karen has been examining their asses, oh look, here’s a strange mark! It seems all the girls have this mark near their ass. Even more so those in white. They are White Knights, supposedly the student council body. Aika goes deeper into the chapel to find the missing girls all hanging upside down! Is this some sort of exhibition? She comes face to face with the student council president and ring leader, Miyu Shiratori. This time Aika can’t defeat her tentacle beams and is in danger of being raped too but luckily Captain snipes! So those aren’t lights? In great timing, Risako jumps in and rescues Aika. Then she throws the eraser thingy which also has a mini self-destruct mode to distract Miyu. Best coordination ever as Risako jumps out and hangs on the helicopter piloted by Gouzo.

Episode 2
Aika wakes up fine in hospital. No serious physical damage. But maybe internally because she isn’t going to sleep and wakes up and strips! In the presence of Gouzo?! I guess to show that she’s still kicking. WTF?! Flashback shows Miyu first stumbled upon that light in the library that soon led her to that underground ship. After she got controlled, she started toppling top students in athletics and academics. Then she gathered them and a few more students to form the White Knights as the student council. It seems Miyu is doing this all for the real mastermind behind this, E.T.A.I. Sure they didn’t misspell H.E.N.T.A.I.? Anyway that ass sucking thingy is so that E.T.A.I. can suck whatever nutrients for whatever. Because the military is also in this, damn they prop up Aika’s plane with machine gun?! They also lend a few cool equipment?! What kind of military is this?! As Aika takes the plane for a spin, then something hits her. Luckily she manages to control and emergency land at a broken road near the cliff! Phew. So precise. At the same time, Karen infiltrates the chapel but it seems everything has been moved out clean. Yup, even Captain’s sniper marks are gone. Of course the next logic is to check if there is any underground passages. Meanwhile the tentacle beam is now targeting naked girls in the shower. Yup, there’s a hole that leads to their base and Aika just in the nick of time saw the last girl being dragged down this hidden hole. Time to get to the bottom of this. So she brought a sub-machine gun as her only preparation? Whatever. Of course she is being attacked by White Knights but nothing like a few kung fu chops would knock them out. Meanwhile Karen is also attacked by a White Knight but luckily Risako is here to assist. After despatching her, they then discover the secret passageway underground. Aika stumbles upon the huge alien ship. But first she has to tackle Miyu and her subordinates. Unfortunately E.T.A.I. got her from behind. And surprise butt secks!!!!!

Episode 3
Oh! Aika can resist the behind infiltration?! What’s this about her being Zero? Hence E.T.A.I. enforces a more direct infiltration! This is going to hurt! But wait! It backfires! It burns her tentacles! I guess they’re not messing with her anymore. Letting the goons handle her, Miyu and E.T.A.I. go to start up the mother ship. So it has enough juice now? E.T.A.I. explains about Aika being Zero. A similar extra-terrestrial organism like them but it is not their ally but enemy because of its twisted evolution. Whatever. After despatching the subordinates, Aika meets up with Karen’s side. How to get this door open? Use the ass! Is that what the mark is for?! They see all the unconscious kidnapped girls. Mission over once they’re rescued, right? Well, not if the ship is starting to launch right now! As Aika makes haste to the surface, she is stopped by Miyu and E.T.A.I. She fights them and this ridiculous part, when Miyu fires a beam at her, Aika grabs and throws it back to her. However E.T.A.I. protects Miyu and gets the returned beam struck right into her ass!!!! THIS GOTTA HURT LIKE HELL!!!! I don’t know if E.T.A.I. is dead but Aika is now free to ride her plane (all readied by Gouzo) to take to the skies and stop the mother ship. She empties her bullets on a single thruster and this is enough to make it change its trajectory???!!! Better still, F-15 reinforcements are here. About 20 of them!!! Fire away!!! Wow. Gotta be dumbfounded how human missile technology could really take down an entire huge spaceship!!! Oh no! Is it going to crash onto the school below?! Don’t worry. It explodes in the air. Phew. And to complete the good news, Aika returns to her gang waiting down below. Meanwhile Nena who is a student at this academy, secures Miyu and E.T.A.I. She reports to her brother who has also finished his successful military operation.

God Bless Dat Masses Of Asses!
Oh well, what a mess. But did you enjoy all that? Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks to all the fanservice, I guess that is why the OVAs are decent. Oh wait. Is that supposed to be indecent? But it makes viewing tolerable in otherwise would be an utterly boring story that doesn’t make sense and characters whom you’ll never care. Thank goodness for the fanservice, huh? Yeah. Aika and co might have somewhat saved the world but the fanservice saved our viewing! It was all worth it…

So yeah, despite the overwhelming fanservice that this series is pretty (in)famous for, sometimes you wonder if they are really overdoing it. I mean, really, really, really, overdoing it. Ass shots and crotch shots make up predominantly the fanservice of this series. It is like for everything these characters do, they usually end up in a way that bares their ass or crotch in our faces. So much so that it is ridiculous to see that whenever a female enemy gets knocked out (which is pretty much easy to do), they don’t usually fall flat on their back or stomach but will get knocked out with their knees upright so that their ass can be so obviously visible. And if they don’t get this treatment but get knocked out cold on their backs or stomach, they’re spreading their thighs as wide as they can so you could see better the delicious parts. Basically almost everything and anything the characters do is to justify the means of fanservice. Is this what you call the means justifying the ends? That is why all the females need to do their high kicks or kung fu kicks whenever they get into a fight. That is why all the girls need to wear mini skirts so short that they’re not wearing any of them at all! It seems in this universe, mini skirts are the only normal clothes that these girls can wear for all occasions. Even more mind boggling when unconscious girls who are rescued instead of putting them lie flat on their back, they are put on their stomachs on something like as though they are futons being hung out to dry! The ultimate ass display! Like, WTF?!

And somehow even though we get all those delicious ass shots and crotch shots, nothing says great uniformity when all the characters wear the same plain white panties!!! Sure, sometimes a few characters wear different lingerie like Nena who feels like a porn star in waiting when she first debut. My guess is that having plain white pantsu is easier to animate and think about how much work the animators will have to do just so that we could have different colours and design! But I’m sure they could because the power of boners would give them the motivation. But that would be another unrelated story. So I guess we have to be grateful. We got our fanservice wish. Spammed a whole lot of them. Included certain scenes of characters with bare tits. Don’t be a spoilt brat and wish for more. Don’t be that jerk who gets an inch but wants a mile.

Having said all that, the story is secondary and at most so mediocre that it doesn’t make sense. There are also so many gaps, holes and parts that are unexplained that sometimes maybe the producers want us to fill in the blanks ourselves. This is mostly in the newer Aika where some issues were never resolved like Karen and her clones. So why is that underwater base still running those clones? What about that mysterious employer who is trying to stop Karen? Never explained anywhere in the series but my guess is that he is the scientist who did the cloning based on the image of his deceased daughter or something. So Karen is then allowed to live freely? I guess with Risako and Captain watching, no biggies.

Then in Aika Zero, why does the alien ship need the nutrients of sexy young high school girls to fuel it? I believe it is never explained and even if it was, I guess we were paying attention to the fanservice more than anything else. But I’m pretty sure all this wasn’t explained at all. And how the f*ck did a freaking huge alien mother ship crashed beneath a school?! Without any traces whatsoever! Don’t tell me it was aeons ago and because high school girls weren’t invented yet, I guess they had to wait till today to suck out their sexiness. Told you the stories and conspiracy theories are dumb. Told you that you’d be better off focusing on the fanservice.

The original Aika’s story wasn’t as mind boggling as the newer one but even though it is simple, it is still cheesy. Because it never explained about that Ultranate thingy that possessed Aika or how she got her hands on it. But considering how it is hinted in Aika Zero that Aika could be an alien life form herself, that could be the link but still, that is just superficial and nothing conclusive. I guess many shows from the past needs us to use our grey matter to think rather than nowadays to be spoon fed and told just about everything. Sighs…

Character wise, there’s nothing much to be said except I thought the newer Aika was supposed to be a reboot or something but after finishing watching this series and doing a little read up, I only found out that they are actually the same Aika and not different alternate timelines. Which feels pretty odd because it felt like it missed out that great disaster thingy that supposedly Aika and Gouzo caught up in. But that could be somewhere in between the 10 year span of Aika’s character. Anyway, both Aika feel like totally different characters with the older Aika feeling somewhat mellow, cool and quite the grown up she is unlike the high school and university teen version who is so, uhm, like a teenager. It’s mind boggling to see who Aika transition to that kind of character. I guess all the dangerous missions has made her wise, huh? No wonder she is the best agent around then.

This strange continuity also affects this Gust character because if he was such a rich playboy in the original Aika, then why the f*ck was he some sort of butler serving Eri’s classmates in the newer Aika? I mean, even if he is a rich kid trying to get some experience, doing this kind of job? This boy? Just totally weird. He is supposed to be the hero hunk for adult Aika but I guess he didn’t do anything much. I guess that’s why as a butler kid he serves as a mini comic relief in some ways.

Then you have Rion and Eri as the overly excited characters because passion drives them. If Aika is too serious, then I suppose these jokers will do. Karen is the weird girl of the series because she does unconventional things that makes you question why she does so but she does have her logic. I mean, like she’s not a pervert when she’s checking those asses out, right?! Many of the other characters are just forgettable like Maypia you wonder why she is in this series in the first place and her character is a whole lot unnecessary except to serve as plot convenience. Yeah, she’s a super spy but that doesn’t mean she’s a good one. Then you have Michikusa who sounds like a retard with his slow talk and he becomes Rion’s punching bag whenever she doesn’t like his truthful and honest comments. Also, they need some sort of gay character because this guy likes to dress up as girls especially when they infiltrate Delmo’s base, he doesn’t hesitate to put on their uniform and even ask if he looks good in them. Sheesh.

And the antagonists are also big fails. Just because they are the bad guys, they are doomed to follow the script to lose. Like Hagen and Nena in the original Aika, their goal to destroy humanity could have been written and fleshed out better but instead Hagen looks like some girly playboy who wants a harem in his aftermath utopia. Because of his great girly looks that’s why there is a mind boggling amount of ladies who have no qualms working under him. I wonder if he has a no male policy too. And Nena turned into one jealous b*tch who is just out for Aika’s blood just because she got Hagen’s heart. And she can’t kill her onii-sama because he loves him too much so the only thing she can do is take it out on Aika. Which she always fails. Good riddance the siblings are forever together now, huh? Literally.

And the Delmo girls literally have no life after Hagen’s death and it’s like they blame it all on Aika. Uh huh. Their only purpose is to serve Hagen and if you think about it, what happens if they do actually succeed in killing Aika? Are they going to kill themselves? Yeah, didn’t think that far, huh? See, they’re doing just fine after getting their ass kicked so many times and Commander just gave them a simple withdrawal order. SO EASY! If I was one of the Delmo girls, I would be wondering what the heck the suffering we all just went through and would’ve now targeted her and kicked her ass! Ironically they have the best facilities all over and yet they fail to capitalize them… And yeah, this reminds me of how old I am and how much times have changed: The diskette!!! Oh yeah, that was really the thing that would have broken Aika. But thankfully no internet yet. Phew!

And it goes without saying in the newer Aika, Miyu and E.T.A.I. continue to fail as baddies. Somebody just thought that zapping beams to control the spinal cord would be sexy if done via the ass. And only girls with hot bodies will do as fuel. Yeah, do you not notice there are no fat and ugly girls at this school? And they would have gotten with it if not for that meddling Aika! Thankfully their fates are not left in limbo because in the credits we see them working under Hagen and Nena. But since they didn’t appear in the original, your guess is as good as mine what actually happened to them. I also wonder if all the alien ass zapping moments on those innocent girls is what drove Hagen to have an all-female crew. Sure, he didn’t see those rape moments but I’m guessing from the interrogation that he must have found out something of this likes.

The action bits are totally dumbfounding and like I’ve said before, they are just steps to provide the much needed fanservice. I know it is good that fights don’t last and span several episodes but it makes you wonder if these girls who are supposed to be trained in the first place are really trained. Because one good chop to the back of the neck is usually how Aika finishes them off and they’ll be out for a long time. And all those flash kicks are just for show, huh? And I swear that gravity and the law of physics don’t truly exist here. Our girls can jump so high and with ease doing their somersaults like as though gravity is in cohorts with the fanservice god so that they could show their pantsu. You also don’t have to worry about the girls using guns. They’re mostly tranquilizers. Don’t want to damage the nice skin, eh? Yeah, this is also how a lot of the girls are being taken out.

Art and animation feel pretty okay. At least the difference in animation style shows the gap and era of when both the series was made. Original Aika was so retro that it’s, uhm, so retro. And the newer Aika is so 2000’s that it’s so, uhm, 2000’s. Sure, some characters do undergo a different look especially I noticed Hagen looking very different in both series. Sort of. Because in the newer Aika, Hagen spots this bishonen look. Then if you look back at the original Aika, damn this guy has a girly face!!! WTF?! What happened?! Then Bandora… I don’t know if this person is actually a combination of a man, woman and cyborg. Punk Mohawk hairstyle surely makes me think he is a guy but she sounds a lot like an old woman. And those visors made me think she is some cybernetic enhancement or something. I thought the newer Aika was made by a different studio but apparently it is also the same studio who made the original one, Studio Fantasia (Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien, Stratos 4, Soukou No Strain). Wow, talk about a change in art and animation style in just a decade.

I wasn’t going to bother doing the voice acting but I guess I have to because MAMIKO NOTO IS THE VOICE OF KAREN!!! In a time when I am still reeling from her characters that have been killed off, in a time when my favourite and best seiyuu has been relegated to make cameo appearances or take on motherly roles, this is somewhat a great relief to get to hear her voicing a character that fits her voice type so perfectly. The other seiyuus I recognized are Ami Koshimizu as the newer Aika and Miyuki Sawashiro as E.T.A.I. And I didn’t realize it was Yuko Goto behind Miyu’s voice and I believe at that time she didn’t sounded like her trademark Asahina from Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu that perhaps got me stereotyped her voice as that dreamy ghost-like voice. Yeah… Also, I thought Rie sounded familiar. Couldn’t put my finger on it till I finished watching this show. Ikue Ohtani voiced her. You don’t know who that is? Pika! Pika! Chopper!!! Yup, that’s her. It’s so shocking to hear her other than a yellow electric mouse and a reindeer tanuki.

First opening theme is the rock based Silent City by Mari Sasaki with More Natural by Hiroko Konishi as the disco-like ending theme. Then we also have another retro rock style Manatsu No Seiza by Mink as the second opener while Dance With Me Tonight by Punky Fruites as the second one. Personally I like Dance With Me Tonight since it has that funky disco beat and it sure brings back some 70’s music nostalgia. For the newer Aika, Ami Koshimizu sings all the themes. With the spy-like Sailing To The Future as the opener for Virgin Mission and anime rock Flying Kid for Aika Zero. More rock based music as Rise and Dream Hunter are their ending themes respectively.

I want to believe that perhaps it is because of the lacking story and shallow characters the reason why this never got adapted 10 years later. The original Aika made its debut in 1997 before a full 10 years passed then we got an updated Aika that probably nobody asked for. Hence people then might have wised up and wanted something more than just crotch shots and ass shots and their tastes ‘refined’ into better hentai and fapping material. But I digress. We’re just primitives when it comes to such carnal desires. It’s just natural. It’s just in our genes.

All in all, don’t hope much if you want to watch this series. After all, the reason that one may stumble upon this old series is because you’re feeling a bit naughty but not horny enough to go watch real porn! This series is as silly and shallow as one would have imagined but it’s all worthwhile because the story and characters that could have been better written were sacrificed for all the fanservice of ass shots and crotch shots. Well, you can’t have everything. So I hope no Japanese director sees this blog of mine and realize the idea of the need to reboot Aika! Gee, will Aika get younger in the next instalment? Sorry, not a lolicon! Just stick to the basic formula and you can’t go wrong. Boy, you wished Lagu would cleanse the world of perversion right now, no?