Maps

OMG. Did Google Maps create a series of their own?! Well, it is no surprise seeing many years ago we had a movie about emojis. A freaking movie on emojis! Imagine a film can even be made out of those little texting icons! So yeah, it won’t be surprising if there was a show about Maps. Thank goodness it hasn’t happened yet. Huh? Actually the Maps I am talking about is an old anime series back in 1994. Heh. Trolled you there. You know why guys don’t stop and ask for directions and rely on their guts to get them where they need to go? Because we are confident we have maps in-built into our system! So I guess that is somewhat the case for our main character here because he possesses some legendary tool that will enable him to find some galactic maps. So are we going to find the truth about the universe when we find them all?

Episode 1
Gen Tokishima and Hoshimi Kimizuka are having a usual outing in town when suddenly the government mobilizes the army, blocking the traffic and causing havoc disrupting people’s lives. And this hot babe, Lipumira Gweiss suddenly pops up before Gen and says he is the one. The one called Mapman. WTF? For some reason, Gen goes with her into her giant goddess spaceship. With her tools, she confirms he is Mapman, a descendant of the Nomad Star Tribe and inside his body lies the location of some lost treasure. According to legend, when time has come to an end, the White Mapman shall show the way to the Flowing Light. That’s you, Gen. Yeah, get all that crap? But wait. Suddenly the entire Tokyo is being decimated by another giant goddess spaceship. Daine accuses Lipumira of betrayal and stealing Calion. Lipumira gets directly hit by Daine’s beam. However she is still living because she is part machine and this also means she is part of the ship. Thanks to puny military intervention, Lipumira manages to lose Daine and escape. F*ck, you mean her ship has no tracking abilities? Did she not see Lipumira crashing into the sea?! The kids don’t want to have something to do with this crazy sh*t but Lipumira will only allow them to go back if Gen promises her something. Or else she won’t let them go! This is blackmail! So as we see them spend their last times on Earth while Lipumira fixes her ship, flashback shows Lipumira telling them about her story. Calion was her creator. He betrayed the rest and escaped with her but was killed. His dream was to find Flowing Light and Lipumira must obey that. Therefore Gen is to help her in her quest or she won’t release Hoshimi. Oh, so now she’s threatening to hostage? So when it’s that day for Gen to depart, obviously Hoshimi won’t leave him alone and goes with him. Yeah, allowed to skip school as the fate of Earth rests on his shoulders!

However the duo are ambushed by Daine. Luckily Lipumira is here to save the day and take them back to the ship and head for Antarctica. Why? Because that is where the Flowing Light is as indicated by Gen’s genetic code. How convenient. Upon arrival, it seems time on Earth suddenly freezes. Then the tectonic plates start to act up. In fact, they start to separate! Lipumira gets attacked by Daine and once again sustains injuries. WTF did she not even count on Daine to follow her?! I mean, this b*tch wants to kill her so badly! Seeing there is no hope, she tells the duo to escape back in the pod. Yeah, to where?! Is going to be decimated, right?! Gen won’t leave Lipumira and goes back to rescue her despite getting injured himself from Daine’s offensive. This scene reminds Lipumira of how Calion died. His last words to never give up. That’s right. The motivation Lipumira needs to get back on her feet. And that is when she uses her cannon at the expense of some immense pain, to fire back and finish off Daine. With that, the tectonic plates stick back together and time resumes. That easy. And some philosophical saying about wings. WTF I don’t get it. Whatever this item is (star map?), I guess Gen needs it to connect the universe. Yeah, there are 3 of them so good luck finding the rest. And so Gen writes a letter to his parents that he will be away on a trip for a while. Holy f*ck, like that will do?! Hope he doesn’t come back in a million light years!

Episode 2
Well, it has been a year since Gen and Hoshimi are travelling with Lipumira through space. At a stop, a strange girl named Jarna asks Gen to take her to planet Isna. She strips as payment and in Gen’s shock, she uses this chance to take him hostage! Damn, I bet every guy would fall for this! She uses Gen to force Lipumira to take off right away. She explains she is a negotiator from Benyuas. However there are some Isna fighters chasing her. It seems there is going to be war between both sides and Jarna is sent to negotiate for peace. The Isna military commander, Sasandra is a pacifist so the peace deal will be able to go through. But it is those sneaky rebels who don’t want peace and trying to take out Jarna. When they arrive at Isna, Gen accompanies Jarna to the ship she is supposed to board. However Lim puts them to sleep. Lipumira is then attacked by a merchant named Gahha Kalakala. He claims he is here for revenge. Uh huh. In 741 years, Lipumira disrupted his business 41 times?! Wow. This guy really keeps grudges. He fires some sacrifice cannon at her. There she goes getting injured again and crashing down. Wow. Huge explosion. Definitely a goner, right? Typical mistake of baddies not making sure she’s dead but oh well, he thinks he has won and leaves. Gahha then makes contact with Zeo who is another military commander of Isna to get paid. He wants war and believes if the peace envoy doesn’t show up, not even Sasandra can stop the war. When that happens, Zeo will have full control of Isna’s military.

Gen and Jarna are being sold as live meat stocks? Oh well, Gahha believes he can make some money off them. While washing Gen, he drops his star map and it seems Gahha also has one and takes it. And then suddenly I don’t know how, an explosion rocks the place. Gen and Jarna are free as they fight over the star map. After a few brawling, Gen gets them as they make a run. Gahha has his men chase them throughout the public. Damn, they’re just shooting whoever and don’t care? Yeah, whatever. Just run! This commotion reaches the ears of Zeo and Sasandra so the former claims a terrorist attack from Benyuas and sends his men to deal with it. Lipumira revives in time to take down the sacrifice cannon and prevent another explosion. What’s this about shutting her vitals when she is in danger? Whatever. More chaos in the chase until they can go no further. When Gen shows them Jarna as the peace envoy, Zeo doesn’t believe him and thinks he is lying. However Sasandra does and commands all to stop this foolishness. Gahha has left for he doesn’t want to incur more expenses that will eat into his profits. In the aftermath, Zeo has been arrested and Jarna’s presence manages to bring peace. Before parting ways, Jarna kisses Gen. She claims the payment isn’t finished yet although modest Gen says that is enough. It’ll be a different kind of war if she gives her body! Both sides continue their respective journey.

Episode 3
Gen tries to ask Lipumira about Calion but she says it’s none of his business. Gen then goes to town as Lim shows up. She claims she has data on the final star map’s location and wants to take him there. Sounds like a trap but Gen is willing to take that chance. Meanwhile Ladow reports to Gatalion that their final plan is in motion. More orders to kill Lipumira because the plans of the Mystic Ones cannot be leaked to the rest of the galaxy. Lim guides Gen to planet Lingrodo. She believes the star map will find him. She knows there is a danger for those who enter this planet. Those who do always lose their minds. Her idea was just to send him in but something happens and now they both fall into the planet. This whole planet has tentacles? Gonna be the biggest tentacle rape if it ever happens… Lipumira realizes the danger Gen is in when he left her a note that he has headed for Lingrodo. She makes haste there but only to be attacked by Shian. Gen realizes this planet is alive as it wants them to force open their mind so it could tell its story and spread it to the rest of the galaxy. Lim is in pain so Gen agrees to do it if Lingrodo spares her. At first it is hard for Lingrodo to enter Gen’s mind since there is some sort of barrier. Not sure how but he opens it up and now Lingrodo can tell his story that began 18 billion years ago!

A ship that his ancestors were going around the galaxy to make a perfectly accurate universal map as instructed by the Mystic Ones. The star map encompasses an enormous region of space with a radius of 6 billion light years! Trouble began when the Nomad Star Tribe learnt of the star map’s true purpose. It’s an aiming device for a huge sacrifice cannon that could annihilate a huge part of the galaxy! The tribe then dismantled the star map into pieces and hid them within the galaxy. Uhm, shouldn’t they have broken it into more pieces?! Anyway, after the Mystic Ones learnt about this, they tried to kill all the tribe members. Lingrodo admits he was once a Mystic One but betrayed them because their ultimate goal is to bring death to all living things and using it to fuel their weapon. Once the story is over, Lingrodo rewards Gen with the final star map. However Ladow is here to take it from him. She orders Lim to do so but she won’t. In that case, she has Rain do some tinkering and the next time Ladow orders Lim, she cannot refuse. Her body moves on her own as she attacks and wounds Gen. Lipumira manages to escape from Shian to come save Gen. Ladow then reveals that Gen will die the same way as Calion did. You see, Ladow controlled Lipumira’s body to shoot and kill Calion then. Rain reports they must escape as some star tear will reach the centre of Lingrodo soon. Ladow does her final attack on Lipumira but Gen defends her and gets gravely injured. Before he falls to his death, he passes her the star map. Then the whole planet just freaking explodes! Oh damn, is this going supernova or something?! Lipumira floating alone amidst the debris of space…

Episode 4
Wow. Snippets of Gen. He must be really dead, huh? Lipumira is somehow well and alive, reunited with Hoshimi who believes Gen is still alive. So what these women do? Go shopping?! WTF I DON’T EVEN!!! Yeah, maybe they’re hoping he’ll show up when they max out his credit card?! OMFG WHAT?! But Ladow and her other sisters are here. Shian laments Lim died during the blast although Ladow claims it was Lipumira who killed her. The bad sisters start attacking the place. Damn, they just destroyed the entire colony just to lure out Lipumira! Here she is. What now? Lipumira tries to go save Rain but gets owned by Ladow. She is willing to let her reunite with her beloved Calion although he is just a copy of his memory living inside Rain’s storage matrix. But suddenly Lim reappears! She lives! And so does Gen. Sorry Ladow, they are not space ghosts! The attack wounds Ladow and this frees Rain from her mind controlling spell. Ladow shows her true colours as she will kill them all. The other sisters are appalled and now fight against her. However even if they cooperate, they cannot take her down. Ladow tries to control Rain again but she resists although now she takes on a fatal damage. Gen goes to confront Ladow in person as he reveals that moments before death, Lingrodo teleported them away. He sacrificed himself instead of saving his own skin. Lipumira then sees a hologram of Calion. Of course this is only a recording of his personality. This is happening because Rain is wounded badly and has not long to live. Now he has to tell her the truth before being erased forever when Rain dies. Calion reveals he was chosen by the Mystic Ones to find the star maps and was given the sisters and their ships as aid. But then he discovered the evil intention behind this and he took Lipumira and fled. He chose her because she had the best chance in finding Flowing Light without him. He corrects her about Flowing Light as the aiming device of the sacrifice cannon. In fact, the star map is not the Flowing Light. When the targeting device is loaded with all 3 star maps, a new source of power appears. That is the Flowing Light and it is that power that will defeat the Mystic Ones. Gen fights Ladow and manages to wound her. With that, the sisters now launch their combo attack and finish off Ladow for good. This time it works. In the aftermath, Rain and Lipumira spend their short time together before the latter dies. Lipumira’s new mission is to find Flowing Light and understand its true nature. So this means Gen and Hoshimi will be tagging along, right? Yeah, looks like this space trip is going to last way longer than expected.

You Can’t Use An Old Map To Explore A New World Galaxy
So is Lipumira going to find Flowing Light herself? Are her sisters going to join her or are they bound to the service of the Mystic Ones still? Oh well, either way, finding the star maps didn’t end her mission but opened up a new one for her. Which feels like when Mario of Nintendo fame blazing through the land and charged into Bowser’s castle, defeat the big fat turtle himself only to find that the princess is not in this castle. Uh huh. Try again. So it has this sword of weird feeling that perhaps even if she finds Flowing Light, it may lead her to another set of space quests. Because after all, she’s up against the great enigmatic Mystic Ones and you’re not going to tell me that such simple tools are sufficient to bring down these ancient cosmic gods, right? Oh well, maybe they are. Sad to say, looks like we won’t be sticking around and journeying with them on more adventures because that’s all we’ve got.

Prior to this 1994 OVA release, there was an alternate movie version of it released way back in 1987. Wow. Feels like a really long time ago. Not sure if it is a very condensed version of the OVAs that I have seen but I suppose the alternate version of this latest one was to expose people about the series. That is why the plot felt like it was moving along so fast. I mean, in the span of 4 episodes, they found all 3 pieces of the star map. I guess it is better than adding in some filler episodes in between. My favourite conspiracy theory of why OVAs in that era are so short and their flow is one kind or fast and furious. Because by the time this 1994 remake version came out, the manga source has already ended. Like a goodbye present? Of course at this point in time, you’ll be lucky to even find that series that is so out of print. If you’re even interested about it in the first place.

The characters aren’t deep either seeing as we all have seen, only 4 episodes so how much character development can they flesh out? In fact, sometimes I find myself a bit confused but I stopped thinking so I don’t have to ask dumb questions that will never be answered. Anyway, Gen is your typical main character and being one of that era, he is portrayed as being heroic and all. Yeah, just a kid from Earth but remember, a descendant of the Nomad Star Tribe so he can’t be just your ordinary kid. I have to wonder if his parents or friends are worried that he has been gone for so long. It’s like his life on Earth doesn’t matter anymore when he became a space adventurer. Uh huh. Earth is nothing when the fate of the galaxy rests on his shoulders. Yeah, they say it has been 1 year he has been travelling but let me remind you is that 1 year defined in Earth years or what? For all you know, he could’ve been travelling for 100 years and remained youthful because of his tribe’s latent abilities to stay young. Sorry, that was all pure BS.

They probably wanted to draw viewers with a hot chick so Lipumira who acts as the ship’s navigator and consciousness because it’s all part of the sci-fi package. I don’t know if this is supposed to be a running joke because each time Lipumira gets near fatal wounds but she can’t die and just puts her out of commission for a while. Cue for Gen to play his heroic role. And it’s like she has some self-regeneration and she’ll make some sort of comeback. Weird. At least not as useless as this Hoshimi character. Not that I see her do anything important or special except to keep Gen company on his long journey which I feel they’ll never return. Anyway, I bet she’s there to play up some love interest for Gen but that didn’t work out here. And so she remains a redundant character.

Even more redundant than Lipumira’s alien pet. Yeah, despite this furry creature doesn’t do much, at least it helps provide or lead to a few fanservice scenes! Wait, WHAT?! During the episode with Jarna, you wonder why this critter crawls underneath her clothes to tickle her. What else? Fanservice! So uhm, gee, thanks? As for the rest of Lipumira’s other sisters, I wonder what will happen to them seeing they realized Ladow was the one pulling the strings and ruling them over. Do they not want to join Lipumira in her quest or does their loyalty still remain with the Mystic Ones? After all as seen, hot chicks like them cannot be bad people, right? So just make one of them rotten and the rest with potential to turn over a new leaf. Imagine the Mystic Ones creating a new group of babes to hunt them down. That’ll be another story from a far, far, faraway galaxy.

Having a sci-fi themed show means some action. But I find them here a bit goofy and sometimes a bit laughable. Especially when they try to go overboard with the destruction and explosions. Yeah. Don’t care whether it is possible or not, just go overkill with the destructive force and explosions. There is also some blood if I should say. However with the animation quality, I’m sure they’re not going to give you any sort of nightmares. However the disturbing one is the sacrifice cannon where they use live creatures and squish them to create whatever energy it needs to be created. Yes, cruel and unsettling as it seems.

Art and animation obviously reek retro 90’s style animation quality. Overall it is quite okay although some scenes especially the action parts felt like there was a dip in quality. Yeah, everything so chaotic that it even effects the quality? For the character designs, I just want to point out that Gen’s outfit somehow reminds me of Saint Seiya. Don’t tell he is also a descendent of some zodiac knights! Before I forget, there is a bit of bare tits fanservice here but it is more of blink or you’ll miss and such scenes are very rare. Back in those days, I guess one of the ‘benefits’ in buying series released via OVA version was to have some retro 2D tits animated and make your 2 cents worth and feel that it was worth buying the collection. Now you know why Lipumira’s outfit is so sexy and I won’t blame you if you think she is a racer queen.

At first I was surprised to think I spotted Yukari Tamura as Lim. Unfortunately it is Satomi Koorogi (Frosch in Fairy Tail). Oh well, Yukari Tamura can’t be that old, RIGHT???!!! Hahahaha!!! Sighs… There might be a few other veteran seiyuus you might recognized here like Hoochuu Ohtsuka as Gahha, Yumi Touma as Lipumira, Hikaru Midorikawa as Gen, Ai Orikasa as Daine, Megumi Ogata as Shian and yes, Kikuko Inoue as Rain. Those might not ring a bell (sorry) such as Mariko Kouda as Hoshimi, Miina Tominaga as Ladow and Miki Takahashi as Jarna.

Both the opening and ending theme songs are the same, The Wind Rides On Wings, Wings Ride On The Wind by Yashuhiro Mizushima. It’s your typical rock song of the 90’s with some synthesizer effects to also make it sound like disco music. However I do find the singer’s voice to be a bit bland. I don’t know it feels like he wasn’t putting his passion into singing the song seeing his voice sounds as generic as it can get. I am most likely wrong but that is how I felt hearing him belting out this song. Oh right, this was the same guy who sang Kareha Iro No Crescendo in Marmalade Boy. And the irony I actually liked that song a lot despite he sung it in the same style!

Overall, this little series is just actually passable. Unfortunately with so short a plot (sometimes the actions the characters can be a bit dumb too) and characters that aren’t exactly memorable, I don’t think even the bombastic explosive action helped covered and glossed over all those flaws. It is forgettable after I watched a few more anime series down the road. Yes, sad to say that this series might have gotten lost in the sea of other obscure animes of yesteryears and would never be found again or see the daylights again (AKA another remake revival) unless you’re one of those lucky (or unlucky) people like yours truly who happen to stumble across it while randomly browsing for retro animes to watch. Well, have to admit this anime is not totally sh*t, but it’s nothing all that great either. Maybe I have this naturally in-built navigational map system inside that just allows me to find crappy shows to watch. No wonder I am such a lost soul XD.

Kyuujitsu No Warumono-san

Just like any normal people whose lives mainly revolve around working to make a living, it is also given that they are also given proper periods of rest so they can recuperate and continue to rinse and repeat that boring-cum-mundane lifestyle. Yeah well, if you think that only normal people can have their day off, take note that even evil organizations too give their staffs some leave days! OMFG. To think that even evil entities value their employees and have proper HR practices put many companies (black or not) to shame! So yeah, even bad guys need to rest and recuperate because all work and no play makes Jack (or insert whoever bad guy’s name here) a dull boy. And so Kyuujitsu No Warumono-san sees our titular character having his day off. And yes, he takes his day off seriously. So seriously that nothing from work will get in the way of enjoying his precious leave. No one shall desecrate and disrespect his valuable day off! So if you’re wondering what bad guys do on their day off…

Episode 1
* Baddie is a high ranking officer of Evil League that is hell bent in destroying humanity. But today is his off day and he will have nothing to do with his job. That’s right. Baddie is visiting the zoo and loves to watch the pandas. He narrates the perfect plan if he bumps into a colleague, he will zip right back via shooting star and if they claim they saw him on Earth, he will feign ignorance. However he still has to watch out for Rangers, a group of foolish humans who fight Evil League. Yeah, he meets one right now, Red! Red knows he is a villain seeing he can sense his evil aura. But! Baddie says to call a truce. Because fighting here would scare the pandas! Yeah well, Red likes them too! Noticing he has tickets to the aquarium, it seems Red is hopeless in his directions. Baddie helps guide him to the train station before returning to admire his favourite pandas!
* At the store, Baddie is going to buy his favourite red bean ice cream. Only, it is no longer there! WTF this strawberry mochi ice cream?! Angry. Then sad. But he accepts the challenge to try it out. Yamano the staff tries to cheer him up by suggesting how to eat the ice cream. Well, Baddie not much of a talker… Baddie goes home and tries her suggestion of eating it in a warm room (he always ate in a cold room for fear it would melt). He finds it nice. Next time when he wipes out this planet, he will try to spare this store as the last one.
* Baddie narrates how there are so many animals on Earth not found on his own world. He is baffled with most of them. Then he got this mission to investigate this creature nicknamed black and white furball. That’s a panda if you didn’t get it. He visits the zoo and finds it perplexing there are many such animals in this enclosure. He can’t understand what humanity is thinking and thought this is some experimental facility. Unforgivable. They’ll get what’s coming. But for now, he goes to get all those lovely panda merchandises! You bet he’ll come back for another visit.
* Heading into the market to get his usual food ingredients, once again he bumps into Red. He wonders if the truce is still on. Obviously. It’s his day off! Baddie narrates the goal of a day off is to get far away from work and that he values his time off. But now he gets mad that he worked all week and now he doesn’t have curry for tonight! GRRR!!! How to vent out his anger? Well, watch this cute panda special programme. Works like a charm.
* When Baddie visits the mall, a pair of lost twins, Mugi and Sora mistake him for their dad. Baddie is kind enough to buy them ice cream while bringing them to the lost child centre. Yeah, all the while the twins keep calling him a stranger who is not their dad! Definitely the people have wrong vibes about this! As they part ways, Baddie notes to remember their little warm hands because by the time they grow up, humanity will be destroyed. After he leaves, it is revealed the twins are part of Rangers. They were just observing him and note he wasn’t as bad as they think. But they won’t let their guard down yet. Then they meet up with Red. Obviously late from his bad sense of directions.

Episode 2
* A new lackey who has joined Evil League admires Baddie whom he addresses as General. One day, Baddie catches him working overtime and lackey feels scared, thinking he is slowing things down. However as Baddie takes a look at his unfinished work, he realizes none are to be finished today. So what’s the rush? Earth won’t be destroyed in a single day. It is important to rest and take care of your health! He even gives him a day off tomorrow! Lackey goes to the zoo and gets some panda snacks he loves. Baddie praises him and lackey melts into admiration. That’s the motivation he needs to continue working hard. Back home as Baddie is about to eat the snack, he can’t because it is so cute! Damn you humans!
* A very tired Baddie returns home and starts thinking when humans are all annihilated, pandas will be free. They will no longer be pets but… Friends?! Oh yeah. Dreaming of all the things he can do with them! Pandas will be such great friends!
* In a dilemma to find out whether a panda’s tail is black or white, today is the day he will find out. But the panda in the exhibit just sat there eating for a few hours without moving! Or at least did not turn its back! So much so, Baddie who has been snapping away, his phone battery died! And after 3 hours, finally the panda moves! The answer is finally found: It is white! He notices another kid, Hiroki has been watching the panda at the same time with him. He too is delighted with the panda’s tail colour. And just like that, the duo somewhat bond and do a fist bump!
* Baddie visits the petting zoo and is now surrounded by cute rabbits! Man, is he going to convert? He thinks this is some damn humans’ ploy to make him unmovable since he can’t step on these cuties! Luckily Hiroki is here as he talks how to pet a rabbit. Baddie wonders if he is a zoologist. He denies but mentions he wants to be an animal doctor when he grows up. When they part ways, Baddie wonders of sparing him when the time comes even though humanity still has to go. Back at base, lackey wonders if General is thinking about his next nefarious Earth invasion plot. However he is thinking how to bring some rabbits here!
* On a rainy day, Baddie stumbles into Red. No pandas, no humans. Just them. Let’s fight! But wait! The truce is still on? What excuse now? Baddie has got some rare hotspring eggs. He is still trying to practice with them. Can’t break them now. Uhm. Okay. So Red lets him pass. He wonders if he will come back with reinforcements. Baddie did return. But with an extra umbrella for him to keep and some snacks. Oh man. Really? He also knows Red is lost and gives direction to the next station. Wow. He really doesn’t want to fight? Definitely. It’s his day off!

Episode 3
* Such a cold day and Baddie doesn’t want to get out from his comfort zone. But doing so means wasting his day off! So how? Watch some cute panda videos. However he is soon interrupted by a call from his colleague, Rooney. GRRR!!! The worst! He ends the call but he keeps calling! Finally he answers. It seems Rooney is in trouble. Some sort of winter monster he is researching on that traps humans from the waist below has now gotten to him! Baddie fears the base is under attack and will rush back. Damn those humans! Oh, please bring some mikan too. When he returns, the ‘monster’ is a kotatsu. Rooney is so comfy in it he can’t get out! Baddie beats him up and forces him to peel the mikan for him as he enjoys the kotatsu.
* Baddie overhears a couple buying a limited edition panda meat bun. Yeah, have to tear it apart to eat the meat, huh? Well, he wants to try some too but can’t stand the tearing part. So at the convenience store as Yamano recommends it, Baddie is hesitant. He claims he will return another day. A few days later, he returns but buys a different bun. The next day, another type of bun. This goes on for a while until he is ready to purchase that panda meat bun. Too bad it is no longer in sale. Just when his heart is ready… Later he is shocked to see the supermarket also sells them but in packs of 4. He buys then and wraps it with a plastic wrap to microwave it. Too bad it becomes flat! But soon he gets a cover to retain its fluffiness.
* When Baddie sees kids making a snow bunny. He too goes to make one. Then he brings it home and puts it in his fridge. However each time he checks on it, it is at different stages of melting until it is no more. So sad.
* When Baddie helps an old man up the stairs, the latter thinks this sonny boy is a good man. He hopes he can help again. This conflicts Baddie because it’s like humans are so fleeting yet painful. That night as Baddie counts pandas (not sheep!) to sleep, he dreams of in some winter wonderland place. That old man seeks his help again as we see Baddie helping the elves to prepare the presents. Yeah, we all know who this old guy now, right? Baddie wonders why he is still doing hard labour when he should be retired. He claims he wants to keep it up as long as the kids believe in him. They may forget him when they grow up but as long as they continue to believe his existence, he wants to make their dreams come true. Yeah, merry Christmas everyone. Baddie wakes up and ponders about the strange dream. But is it a dream? Because there’s a present underneath his blanket.

Episode 4
* An overworked salaryman feels the drag in life. Yeah, not the kind of exciting life he wished for, huh? So as he enters the mart, he sees Baddie and fears his bad mood. Turns out he was wondering where a previous food went so Yamano explains promo period is over. She introduces him to some new stuffs in which he buys. This also motivates the salaryman to buy some and now he feels invigorated. Life isn’t so bad. On another day shopping in this mart, salaryman sees Baddie and Yamano getting along well. As she introduces a couple of new ice cream flavours, it seems both are on different pages in recommending which is the best one. Although Yamano admits her wrong, Baddie always believes her recommendations are spot on. So he buys both of them. This leads to salaryman buying both flavours as well. Baddie’s dilemma? Which one to try first!
* Baddie visits a latte art café. Obviously he is spooked at first, never seen before the coffee siphoning machine and the one that makes the art. Yeah, it makes weird noises. When he is served his coffee with a panda design, he ponders how to drink it. But to his horror, he realizes the panda is slowly looking lesser than a panda! Such merciless beverage! But the panda voice tells him it’s okay. Because it is their fate! Baddie watches the panda slowly blend and lose its shape. Then he drinks them all in one gulp. Yeah, such a dramatic tragedy that the customer in the next table orders one for himself.
* Baddie has bought lots of ingredients to cook after being inspired by that panda latte. He also bought lots of utensils with panda designs. The problem now is carrying all these bags back home. The final fight is up these flight of stairs. Eventually he makes it but this makes the passer-by think he is weird.
* As per TV, Baddie decides to try eat his lunch underneath a sakura tree. However there is a little girl gathering sakura petals. Since she is hungry, she helps himself to Baddie’s lunch. As reward, she shows him the petals she gathered and scatters them to the wind. Baddie is perplexed humans find such spectacle to be beautiful. Indeed, he admits this looks beautiful. Then he realizes the girl is gone and only leaving petals behind. Must have gone home, huh? Well, we all know better it’s the spirit of the sakura tree! For the next few days when Baddie comes to have lunch at this place, the girl was never seen again. He hopes to come again next year when they bloom.

Episode 5
* Now we are introduced to Ranger Pink. Despite kicking villains’ ass like normal, however we hear her lamenting about this job of hers. Because she wanted to become a magical girl! Also, she doesn’t get along with fellow Blue. But one day she lost her magical girl keychain and goes out herself to find it. She looks around and couldn’t find it. Her last hope is the police box and thank goodness it is there. The police claims somebody just dropped it off. Can’t miss him, he was here a second ago. Pink goes to look for him and obviously you can’t miss that tall guy in a trench coat. She thanks him for finding it. He tells her to take care of her important things and calls her miss magical girl. This confuses but also delights her since this is what she has always wanted to be called. Soon, Blue comes to pick her up because the twins ‘complained’ it will be his fault if Pink turns into a life of crime!
* We all know Baddie loves panda. Now that he has noticed it, it seems the town is filled with them. Even the magical girl show has a cute little panda mascot. Then a panda fair. He is given a card to affix several stamps in exchange for a prize. He likes it because buy panda products and a get a panda prize! And so he does his panda shopping spree. As he is to claim his prize, he is given a choice of which panda product. Can’t choose! Eventually he goes with the mug. A satisfied customer. Gee, I thought he would do the stamps all over and collect them all!
* Baddies does house cleaning. As he vacuums, he accidentally hits the sofa and drops his panda plushie. It drops on the floor. So he stops vacuuming, washes his hands just to put the panda back to its rightful place. Then as he reorganizes, he is going to throw out all the empty boxes and cans. Well, all of panda design. Oh well, will hold onto it for a while. Then as he takes a break, probably it’ll be a long one since he gets infatuated watching special panda videos from the zoo.
* At the park as Baddie sits on the bench, a cat comes to sit next to him. Realizing this creature can aid them in bringing mankind’s downfall if they get the feline on their side, he tries to converse with it. Like a true cat, he is ignored. Baddie starts believing cats are the old dwellers of the planet and it could be disrespect just to talk to it like that. And of course, language barrier! You think this majestic creature cares about your unintelligible babble?! So he starts meowing. The cat meows back. Achievement! Well, this is being observed by Pink as she finds it all so adorable!

Episode 6
* At the park, Baddie hears a couple kids, Aya and Hibiki talking about Orihime and Hikoboshi, why they can’t just meet each other on any other day. This has Aya remembering Hibiki will be moving away and she promises to come see him off. Baddie leaves and he still doesn’t know much about the celestial legend. He is then invited to write his wish for the Tanabata festival. So this is how Orihime and Hikoboshi are related? At first he wanted to write about humanity’s downfall but seeing everyone has hopeful wishes, he does the same. We see Aya coming to see Hibiki off and Baddie’s wish is that he hopes they will meet. Meanwhile Red has wrote many wishes but all of them are for everyone and the world’s happiness.
* At the beach, a young girl comes to build a sand castle next to Baddie. Is this some sort of competition because he too tries to make one but obviously hers is way better. In the end, both created a great monument but soon the high tide washes them away. Girl hopes they can make better ones next time. Yeah, he’ll be looking forward to it.
* Trigger who is Baddie’s colleague, hates his guts. He doesn’t see how he is better than him because he thinks himself as way better. Not sure how but they’re hanging out together on their off day and Trigger continues to hate his guts. He gets mad seeing Baddie do certain stuffs like ordering a panda crepe and taking a pic before eating. Baddie then tells him he likes to spend his off days by himself so please don’t talk to him next time if he sees him. Sure but Trigger is still not amused.
* Rooney mentions you can’t see a panda’s eyes. Baddie getting mad… But then he also claims his eyes are had to see and hence he is like a panda. Baddie feels better. Yes, he didn’t take that as an insult. As Baddie works, he notes he is going to clock out on the dot. However some last minute job came in and he had to stay late. With more work the next day, he goes back to sleep but finds it hard to do so. How now? Count pandas! Next day at work, he is looking way tired. Counted more pandas on Earth?! So much so he sleeps while he is standing! He dreams of watching the stars with all the pandas of the world!

Episode 7
* Baddie and Red are in an intense fight. When a lost kid is seen between them. Fight is put on hold as Red needs to return the kid. Baddie gives directions since we all know how hopeless Red is. A truce is called since the kid likes panda. That will be all for today. With extra time, Baddie goes to visit the souvenir store. Damn right he is going to be enthralled by those cute pandas. He can’t decide which different design to buy as they both feel so soft and he can’t let go! Oh well, we all know. He’s going to buy them both.
* Baddie hears from Rooney that there might be a panda with a black tail that is hidden somewhere in this amusement park. Must go investigate. So as he enters the amusement park and rides all sorts of rides (because I guess the kids were so excited they influenced him somehow), he gets agitated none of the ride are pandas! From horses to swans, WHERE ARE THE FREAKING PANDAS! As he sits depressed, an old man talks to him how this place is where everyone goes to be happy. Look at all those happy smiles of kids and their parents that are detached from their daily life. Baddie gets shocked when his grandson mentions there are panda rides here too. Where?! He continues his journey as he sees pandas in gachapons! How cruel for humans to encage them here! He will free them all! Yup, bought every last one of them. Finally a staff notices his troubles and leads him through a maze before arriving at… Panda cars! Yup, these panda rides are pandas with a black tail. Who knew one could ride a panda! Happy riding. Baddie reports back to Rooney about it and has no idea why Earthlings paint such pandas with a black tail. But one thing can’t be denied and that is pandas are always cute!
* Another usual visit at the zoo to gawk at pandas. However this handsome panda seems to remind him of someone… TRIGGER?! OMFG?! Are you blind?! This brings Baddie to despair because he swore not to have any work related connections on his day off and that means not even thinking about his colleague! When Baddie is back at the first, as usual when Trigger bumps into him, the insults start flying and he wants to pick a fight with him. But each time Trigger hollers, all Baddie could see is that cute panda’s face. He smirks and walks away, triggering Trigger to be even angrier.

Episode 8
* Well, what a weird dream. Baddie watches a panda rubs all his black spots off with a towel. And now it’s like a polar bear! Then as he watches cute panda videos, so cute that his heart hurts! But it won’t hurt like how the next one’s coming. Because a panda will soon leave the zoo and be returned to its rightful owner. Oh damn! This one just killed him!
* Baddie and Rooney are in some mikan challenge? Yeah, they make various shapes from the mikan skin and segments. Fancy seeing Baddie make a panda out of it? Oh yeah. They get very creative with the various items. Origami, mikan version! In the end, they run out of mikan. No worries, here is another box! But first they have to eat and finish the first one so as not to waste.
* Baddie has his mind fixated on a present. So much so it’s back to Santa land to ask Santa what kind of best presents should be given. The kind that makes the other smile. But shouldn’t you pick a present that you yourself feel happy? That’s also correct. Both parties should be happy and that is what gift giving is all about. So when he wakes up, looks like he gets it. Then he has a showdown with Rooney and it turns out to be exchanging gifts. Guess what? Both give a mikan box! Great minds think alike? Oh well, at least we can make more panda mikan… Meanwhile Black has given presents to all his comrades, grownup or child. Why? Because in Santa’s eyes, they are all kids. Enjoy.
* Baddie has a meeting with his other alter egos in his mind. He wants to proliferate pandas after the destruction of humans. However some others disagree because they want to proliferate other creatures like polar bears, grizzlies, red pandas, etc. Uhm, Chinese bun needs to be proliferated? In the end, it is a noisy disagreement as everyone has their own favourite item to proliferate. Until the big boss stomps his feet down because he is a cat lover. He is going to show them the appeal of cats, much to everyone’s horror. Baddie wakes up from this dream. Still a panda lover after all.

Episode 9
* There is a stray cat near the convenience store that Baddie notices. One night as he tries to observe it again, there is Black. Feeding it so nicely till the cat allows him to pet it. This makes Baddie jealous because the cat has never allowed him to do that. As Black leaves, he gives Baddie a snack that cats like. Time to put it to the test. When Black returns, the twins are waiting for him. Because he patrols at night and comes back early in the morning, this is their only chance to see him as he would be often be sleeping through the day. Black puts them back to bed. Meanwhile Baddie is amazed the cat is now licking him. Such ferocious power!
* Red defeats Baddie by throwing beans? Oh yeah. It’s just a dream and it’s that time of the year again. The setsubun festival is in full swing as Baddie patrons the stalls. A pair of grandmas let him try their mochi. He finds it hard to eat this sticky substance and thinks it’s some kind of weapon! But it tastes good. They let him try a few more food and he ate them all till he is full.
* Baddie is about to eat his ice cream when suddenly all the emails start to bug him. He is forced to attend to them and once it is done, he fears his ice cream has melted. Damn you emails! MAD! But then he notices its shape is still holding up and when he eats them, it still tastes as good. Late that night, he wonders if he should be eating this cup ramen. And so his angel and devil (panda versions) deliberate on this and in the end, Baddie eats it. He realizes his will is so weak, he can’t subjugate Earth yet. Damn right. But yeah, the noodles taste so good.
* Baddie thinks of skipping shower tonight but with the gaze of his panda plushie, I guess he changes his mind. He even tries to pass on brushing his teeth but then again, panda’s gaze… As he is about to dry his hair, suddenly the lights go out. Immediately he springs into action thinking an enemy is attacking. He jumps outside to call out the enemy and is ready to battle. But everything is all quiet on the front. Nothing happens. Turns out the circuit breaker tripped. So before he uses the hair dryer again, he switches off most of the appliances. He goes to bed and has panda to thank for.

Episode 10
* Baddie truly taking a day off here because he doesn’t appear! Now we see Pink shopping for chocolates for Valentine’s Day to give to her comrades. Then she sees a magical girl set and wants to buy it but remembers Baddie. When she goes home, she gives a small little piece to Blue. But the rest she has like a proper set. What’s the discrimination? A month later, the guys go shopping for White Day. The twins teasing Blue that since he is so distraught on what to buy, it’s like he’s always thinking of her! Better not tell her that! Meanwhile Red is lost at the shopping complex. They should know better than to let this guy roam free!
* It seems Blue’s father was a Ranger. However he didn’t come home one day but Black popped out and told him that he has now become one. It seems when the previous Ranger passes on, the power is then passed onto the next generation. Next day, Pink was brought in and a few months later, the twins. Although they are Green, it would be confusing to call both of them as so and thus they will be called by their individual names. Black hopes that the young ones can fraternize with each other. Even when Blue thinks of not going to school and study at the facility, Black still thinks it is better he makes friends and experience the outside. Blue and Pink helped take care of the twins despite not getting along well with each other. One day the twins went missing. Everyone went searching for them. Pink thought Blue was insulted when she declined to be his friend earlier on. However, he thought of her more as a sister than a friend. Then they feel the twins’ aura. It seems they combine into one in Ranger form. They are in despair that all they see is darkness and that their parents aren’t around. Blue told them the harsh truth that their parents are gone. Even if they can’t be their parents, they can be their siblings. The twins calm down and are relieved they won’t be alone. Later, Black said about the twins having weak powers was because they split into 2 individuals. He also mentioned about finding Red because once they do, their ‘family’ will be complete. Blue joked that Red might not be even born yet or worse, lost! Soon, Black introduces Red to the family. Blue notes despite never having thoughts about being a Ranger before, he doesn’t mind this place and the people. Now Blue is in despair as Pink and the twins keep calling him onii-chan. It’s a sign of trouble… Red better not join the bandwagon!
* Black notes how he is the only survivor of the last generation’s Rangers. It has been years since they have passed on. Hence he went on a search to find those who inherited their powers. He was stumped how they taught him stuffs because now it’s his turn for this new generation and he finds it hard to keep up. He truly isn’t cut out for this. However he will continue to fulfil his duties.

Episode 11
* A boy seems to admire that sakura girl. Obviously he likes her but gets jealous when he sees Baddie coming by to feed her. She looks happy eating. Later he summons Baddie to hand him some triangle mud he made. He thinks she likes triangle stuffs and wants him to help give it to her. He does so and it looks like she is happy. Baddie does great service and even makes a paper phone for them to communicate. But soon, that kid is gone and my suspicions were right since the tree he hangs out often is gone. Baddie sees sakura girl sad and won’t be able to see him anymore. That kid suddenly comes back alive but looks like he is a bench now. Still looking for her, Baddie tells him that she has scattered. Whether or not she will bloom again next year, the kid can’t wait for spring.
* On a rainy day, Baddie thought he heard a cat but it turns out to be a weak robot cat. Since it calls him human, he knows this is dangerous and leaves. But returns shortly to leave his umbrella behind. Next day, Baddie still visits to check on him. What is it doing lying around? Waiting for its batteries to run out. We see flashbacks that C-018 was useless in an experiment and thus discarded. It wandered around, thinking if it could just kill a human… Suddenly C-018 revives. Well, Baddie has plugged his charger to charge it up. Remembering its mission, it tries to bite Baddie but its bite so weak and did nothing, C-018 starts to feel useless. Can a robot cry? Next day, Baddie returns to feed it. Well, it bit him because it was hungry, right?
* Baddie remembers Rooney telling him that there are other organizations targeting Earth and hence they might have released some weapon onto the planet. He didn’t bring this up since he has no proof. He is hoping Baddie can help do some surveillance. Baddie isn’t pleased since this will be like overtime. Now it is obvious C-018 is that weapon. Well, maybe. Because it is acting more like a pet! Dangerous or not, Baddie brings C-018 back to Rooney. The cat is shocked to realize he is not human. He never said he was. Once Rooney takes C-018, a sense of guilt overwhelms Baddie as now he waits anxiously. He checks things out and sees C-018 taken apart! After some time, Rooney allows Baddie to come claim C-018 and it looks like the cat immediately goes to Baddie. Prefer him than this lunatic! Well, Rooney just took it apart to clean it and assess its data. After determining it is no longer a threat, he reassembled it back. Rooney notes that C-018 is practically a pet and they can leave it here for further monitoring. But since it takes a liking for Baddie, perhaps he wants to keep it? We know the answer.

Episode 12
* Baddie is furiously researching on how to take care of cats! C-018 still feels useless so it pleads to Rooney to be dismantled. Or even at least store it away somewhere. No can do. C-018 is a precious specimen. Baddie comes by to have C-018 choose what kind of bed it wants. If it can’t choose, he’ll pick the panda bed. Whatever. So the panda bed it is. Rooney tells C-018 that Baddie doesn’t ask for much and is looking forward to take him home so won’t you mind going with him? And so C-018 now stays with Baddie. Nice panda bed…
* Looks like the sakura tree didn’t bloom this season and the tree kid is sad! Maybe next year! Hopefully. Baddie leaves him his lunch so as the kid eats alone, he talks to the withered sakura tree about stuffs. His regrets they should’ve talked more. With that, he notices small petals blooming day by day and looks like she’ll bloom this season after all. When that happens, he’ll tell her his feelings. Time to practice. So as he practices, sakura girl pops up. Next day as Baddie visits, he is in an awkward position sitting in between them. Worse, he has to play pass the message from them. In the end, the kid says to sakura girl himself that he loves her. That lovely smile.
* Baddie is trying hard to avoid Red on his day off. But it seems wherever he goes, Red is always there! Could he be tracking him down hard? Oh no, you’re not ruining my day off! And then the worse happens because Red sees him and talks to him. However it is to thank him for all the help he has given him previously. He was just lost but when he saw him, he just had to give it to him. Now they are even. Kinda weird for a hero to call a bad guy a nice guy! So next time when they fight, it’ll be back to business. Baddie doesn’t dislike the panda cookies gift. Red returns home as Pink tells him to lie next to Blue, Mugi and Sora who are sleeping in the exact same pose. She takes a pic to send it to Black who likes such stuffs. Yes, he sets it as his phone wallpaper.
* We see Rangers fighting against Evil League! Yeah, this must be their usual daily affair as Baddie vs Red and Trigger going trigger happy. Rooney is on the battlefield but is to obtain data of the Rangers. Well, we can tell it ends in a draw because now we see Baddie having his usual day off as he does his usual. Yup, more pandas. As a reminder to us, despite being a high ranking general of an evil organization that is to destroy Earth, he won’t do it on his day off.

Panda-monium Crisis: Keep Calm And Enjoy Your Day Off
So you folks are all freshened up? Are we ready to go back to work and give our 100%?! Oh man, NO???!!! I still want to laze around and binge watch more animes!!! NOOOO!!!! I don’t want to go back to work!!! Damn it, why must we work 5 days a week and have only like 2 days of rest?! Can’t we have it like the reverse?! Not enough day offs! Weekend isn’t long enough! Complain, complain! Ugh… Feeling so darn lazy… Maybe I should call in sick…. Heh… Every day is a day off when you’re unemployed… Yeah, this might be worse.

Obviously there is not a coherent plot or storyline for this series. We’re supposed to take it easy and relax! No convoluted and twisted plot to follow! So it doesn’t matter why this bad organization (or other extra-terrestrial groups) want to destroy Earth so badly. On second thought, maybe I know why and it has something to do with us stinking humans but it doesn’t matter here. The whole point of this series is to see how a high ranking officer in an evil organization spends his days off. That’s right. Even a villainous organization has good and proper HR practices! Puts most of us companies on Earth to shame! Hey, even if aliens are not humans, they are still living organisms and need a break once in a while. They’re not robots, you know. Even Transformers on Cybertron can’t work 24/7! So people, take it slow and easy for this series. Don’t expect much of a story save for random shenanigans and encounters of our titular character in each episode. Don’t you just feel so refreshed and relaxed after every episode? Either that or it could be as boring as f*ck! I guess the calm and quiet weekend isn’t for you people.

The other interesting point to ponder is the Ranger organization themselves. We had an entire episode that focuses on them and although it might not be important, it still is a curious food for thought. For example, it is stated that once a Ranger dies, his/her powers will be transferred or inherited to the next generation. Feels like a lottery game because we can see a weary Black now trying to look for other members like needle in a haystack. Thank goodness they’re all concentrated nearby, eh? Seeing this good organization has lots of scientists in it, it begs the question what the heck are they researching? Is it new weapons or something? Well, certainly we don’t see them here because it is about taking the day off and enjoying it! Don’t bring work home! But I have to wonder what kind of enemies Earth or at least this particular region in Japan have faced throughout the centuries. So far so good in defending the world. Oh yeah. Japan has lots of stuffs that prevents aliens from taking over. From a certain squid girl to a certain series whereby aliens get addicted to pets! What are the chances of this one failing too?

There aren’t many characters here so if you want some sort of deep character development, look elsewhere. For our main titular character, the title of this show is already a good spoiler of what to expect. Long story short, Baddie is not a totally evil person (or alien) as we thought he is. Sure, he may look and sound grumpy and works for an organization that wants to destroy Earth but remember, he is only doing his job. No hard feelings. It’s just work. Initially we see him having low opinions or no hope for things on Earth. But the more he experiences them on his day off, the more he starts to think otherwise. Yup, his exception list is going to grow and blow up so much so I won’t be surprised when his bosses decide to nuke Earth, he will be stepping up to protect Earth because it’ll be a waste to destroy all these goodies that will never be enjoyed ever again.

So yes, the first on his no-kill list is most likely pandas. Ah, who could ever hate those black and white creatures that are only native to China. Can’t turn down anything that has their print on it. Well, well, well. We now certainly know his weakness already, eh? And if there are sneaky humans desperate to win this war, they’re going to hold pandas as hostage! You meanie! I’ll be siding with the baddies then too! Of course not every human on this planet is a scumbag. As we can see Baddie interacts with them normally, they are actually nice and ordinary people. Did I hear Baddie going to make an exemption to not destroy them or at least put them last on his hit list? Well buddy, you’re going to need a whole lot of reams of paper for that list. Going to be even longer than Santa’s naughty or nice list! But I’m pretty sure that Baddie and his Evil League will be more humane than most of us humans. When it comes down to it, they are more likely to spare this planet because of all the nice people, women, children and animals. Yeah, somebody please think of the children! Hey, I have found a loophole for Baddie not to destroy Earth: Turn every day into a off day! OMFG! I’m such a genius! Not sure about other evil organizations but at least Baddie won’t be annihilating this planet. Can’t destroy the things we love, right?

Showcasing Baddie in every episode will be just boring. That’s why a few other characters like Rangers to spice things up. Basically, they too are nice and normal people just living out their normal lives. I have a feeling that once both sides know each other, they’ll stop the mindless fighting. And then plot twist, their higher ups don’t want war to end so they team up and bring down those old warmongering bastards! But alas, it isn’t that kind of anime. Yet. And so we also see them in their time off and each have their quirky little habits. Such as Red’s running joke is getting lost all the time even if you point him in the right direction. Blue and Pink are always at each other’s throat and it’s like some sort of weird love-hate relationship. Sora and Mugi are quite perceptive of things and yearn to be loved. Black is like the father (because big brother goes to Blue?) of the team and looks out for them. He is always looking tired since his patrolling time is at night. Funnily, he is the oldest and yet he doesn’t look even middle aged. And why do they not have a yellow coloured Ranger anywhere?

There’s nothing much else to say about the other minor characters because they’re all very nice people. Am I sounding like a broken record? Maybe because need to nail it into your brain that not all humans are bad! Thank goodness Baddie is living in this part of the world, eh? From budding Yamano to the neighbourhood kids and the elderly, each one is slowly changing Baddie’s life and perception of things on Earth. The most meaningful and life changing day offs, if I should say. If it is not humans or animals, damn, Baddie even meets supernatural beings! From tree spirits and even Santa Clause himself! Such a fascinating world. You sure you wanna destroy this planet? Better think twice. Your day offs won’t be the same when you can’t get your favourite treats on offer once you annihilate the convenience store! Even Baddie’s colleagues are not bad people per se. Just doing their job. Rooney might be a little bit quirky and Trigger a whole lot grumpy due to jealousy but what if he is actually tsundere! Like how Baddie has his disguise on Earth, what if Trigger too is putting up this hateful tough guy act to mask his gay affections for Baddie! I mean, tough guys don’t fall in love with each other but there are no rules preventing so, right? If that happens, I bet you’ve downloaded the wrong anime…

On a trivial note, the next episode preview is called a trailer. It is interesting to note because in the early days of cinema, promoted films are shown at the end of the movie and hence they were called so. In this segment, we have Baddie narrate things in a philosophical way. While it is calming and relaxing, it also gives off that sad and melancholic feeling. I mean, many of us will be spending most our time working and having a day off and relax is just a small part of it. Makes you sad, don’t you think? Yeah, that is my personal opinion on this calm but yet melancholic ambience of this part. To also think that something sad might happen in the next episode the way he narrates it all, that is just me overthinking.

Art and animation are rather okay. Basically the general colouring and hues of the series are quite bright and vivid. Because of the somewhat simplistic designs, backgrounds and even the animation, sometimes the series feels like it is targeted for younger audiences. I mean, characters like Baddie and those Ranger guys look like your conventional anime characters and not anywhere near cartoony. But since the colouring is bright and art style is clean, it gives off that sort of feel. Even when Baddie is in his true general monster form or the evil organization’s base, they don’t look all that scary. It is after all that kind of show. This anime is jointly done by SynsergySP (Kawaisugi Crisis – maybe that’s why I find the art style looking a bit similar) and Shin-Ei Animation (Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san).

Voice acting also feels okay as I recognized Nao Touyama as Yamano, Yuuichi Nakamura as Trigger and Yuuichirou Umehara in his usual monotonous voice like always in Black. The other casts are Shintarou Asanuma as Baddie (Tsuda in Seitokai Yakuindomo), Hiiro Ishibashi as Red (Yuuga Odo in Yugioh Sevens), Souma Saitou as Rooney (Kain in Kyoukai No Rinne), Ai Kakuma as Pink (Rossweisse in High School DxD), Takuya Eguchi as Blue (Hikigaya in Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru), Hibiku Yamamura as both Mugi and Sora (Lisa in Peter Grill To Kenja No Jikan), Kaori Nazuka as C-018 (Kazuho in Non Non Biyori) and Maaya Sakamoto as the sakura girl (Ciel in Kuroshitsuji).

The opening theme, Yuuho by Ivudot is surprisingly a slow and calming hip hop style. It gives you an idea what the pace of the series is going to be. Yeah, here I thought it was going to be some noisy rock music and then complain how a mismatch it will be! But it is slow and steady enough to make you think you might be watching the wrong anime! Well, the ending theme is now rock based. Yeah, getting a bit noisier now, eh? Kyuusoku Juuden by Glasgow sounds okay in my books and I guess we need to wake up after an episode of, uhm good resting?

Overall, this series is funny and enjoyable in its own right. It has its own set of calming charm if you like your animes slow and easy. This is no Aria The Animation or Amanchu but the vibes are somewhere along those lines. Some might find it a bit boring most likely we have differing views on how to enjoy our day offs. And that is the whole point of this series because it is important to recognize our rights to have rest days! And paid leave! Perhaps we’ll have even more time on our hands seeing AI is going to take over our jobs. Oh my, will we still have one? That’s another matter to ponder another time. In the end, when evil organizations recognize its employees need to have some time off and me time, this goes to show the age old adage of all work and no play makes Jack (or whosever name you want to put here) a dull boy. So rest up well. Because we don’t want employees to become tired and die overworking or too exhausted while crossing the road and be hit by a speeding truck. Really because when employees of black companies die as a result of that, they go to another world and relive a better life there! Only then you’ll realize you’ve lost a great employee!

P/S: Well, I would have taken proper breaks from binge watching anime, if only they stopped churning out so many anime titles every season! Can’t even catch a break, dammit!

Ao No Exorcist: Shimane Illuminati-hen

Well, well, well. Look who is back after 7 years! Seven damn long years! That’s right. I didn’t think this would get another sequel but it looks like Ao No Exorcist did. After all, it shouldn’t be surprising seeing so many animes are getting sequels for whatever reasons. My main conspiracy theory is of course there are no more new stories to animate or at least not at a huge rate. What a way to bring up the nostalgia by taking up an old series that veterans would be familiar with, eh? However, many were left stumped or surprised by Ao No Exorcist: Shimane Illuminati-hen because they decided to skip a story arc after that Kyoto arc and jumped into this one. Is there a rule to say that one has to animate every chapter? We all know how the anime versions are notorious in skipping many chapters of the source, right?! So is that why they took many years to come out a sequel? Was the previous arc boring? I don’t know. I didn’t read the manga but yeah, with the Illuminati factor here, we’re going to be paranoid and let it fly with the conspiracy theories! And memes of course! It’s the Illuminati we’re talking about!

Episode 1
As Rin is in class, he notices a fellow classmate, Godaiin starts to panic. He realizes he can see demons as one just walked by. Later Rin is thrilled he got a love letter in his shoebox but it turns out to be from Mephisto. Dang. Bad news. Because Rin used his blue flames in Kyoto, he was sentenced to death. Yeah, Rin doesn’t even remember it! Attempts were made to reverse this execution but the decision has been made that it will stay. Hence Mephisto wants him to attend a ‘banquet’ at his place. Hearing Godaiin’s screams again, this time he is scared a demon is trying to get close to him. Rin uses his demonic aura to scare it off. Rin asks his pals if they know how to stop one from seeing demons and none knows. So he goes to ask Mephisto but this dude is calling the shots. Mephisto reveals his true self to Rin. He is actually the king of time, Samael and the second strongest person in Gehenna and related to the Baal royalty. This shocks Rin as he tries to attack him but it is all futile since Mephisto controls this time and space. He notes how the tail and heart of a demon are their weaknesses. That is why they go to great lengths to hide it. Like this sword of Rin that contains his true heart. Destroy it and he dies for real. Back to business, Mephisto has some eye drops for his friend to stop seeing demons. Of course he won’t give it for free and needs him to do a task. He adds some evil is creeping into Assiah (Earth as demons call it) and what is happening to Godaiin is a sign of that. Mephisto then gathers all the Exorcist trainees on this special class. As a demon is lurking around, he needs them to fight it but won’t interfere. He points out to this strange family portrait of a woman that has caused many students to suffer after looking at it. So as the Exorcists discuss about it, Rin goes ahead to slash the painting! He sees some horrible vision but luckily Konekomaru saves him and the rest. Inside the barrier, he explains how this is a shape shifting demon that makes one see their fears. Konekomaru manages to take off his glasses at the last moment and his poor eyesight prevented that. Shockingly, he tells everyone of their weaknesses and what needs to be done. He wants them to leave this battle’s strategy to him. Konekomaru has everyone do what they need to as he starts to figure out Mephisto’s words of this family portrait. Realizing there are a few other similar portraits of the same size, he has his pals cut them down simultaneously. Later Rin gives the eye drops to Godaiin. He also reveals himself as half-demon. Godaiin wonders if he is scared. Of course he is. But he is surrounded by great people so he’s not.

Episode 2
Arthur calls a meeting at the Vatican with all the heads of Exorcist branches. It seems they have questions for Yukio about Toudou and made to swear to some Morinath Contract. Violate it and the demon from it will kill him. Yukio is then surprised to be given a clean bill of health as this confuses him about those blue flames of Satan in his eyes then. Rin is shocked to think Yukio is dating Shiemi?! Well, turns out he is just tutoring her like always. Yukio has deep thoughts about him confronting father over Mephisto. Fujimoto couldn’t say it then but hinted he will realize it one day. Yukio believed in him but then he got killed. After that Mephisto became their guardian, making Yukio as a teacher and putting him in charge of observing Rin so as to gauge his abilities and mental state. Yukio wanted to know his intentions but Mephisto obviously wasn’t going to rush it and spoil all the fun. He ponders if Mephisto knows about his eye and perhaps that contract was for him to keep watch on him. Yukio leads the young Exorcists in another mission to exorcise some ghost girl named Mayuko in the female toilet. Because this ghost only appears before females, Shiemi and Izumo will take charge. Izumo is not happy especially being paired with Shiemi. Looks like she still has issues since the last time Shiemi saved her. As the mission begins, the girls look into the stalls and of course there is Mayuko, a ghost created out from all the evil thoughts of humans. Izumo tries to get her familiars to do her bidding but they refuse. Shiemi offers them some rice and soon gets herself strangled by Mayuko. The foxy familiars decide to help Shiemi and tell Izumo to work her charm. This makes Mayuko even madder seeing she now owes Shiemi even more. She starts chanting to blow away Mayuko and save Shiemi. By the time the guys arrived, WTF they’re dressed as girls???!!! Hilariously ugly!!! No wonder the girls can’t stop laughing their ass off! Meanwhile somewhere in Russia, Arthur and some Exorcists make a terrible find. A Gehenna gate materializing in between the reactors. Does this mean Satan is here? But as Lewin Light AKA Lightning puts it, this is manmade. Thanks to Mephisto putting a barrier, this stops the gate from expanding. However this can only last for a few months. As the top boss calls for the enemy to be find, Lightning claims the answer is obvious. The only organization armed with such technology and financial might: The Illuminati! We see Toudou reporting to the Illuminati boss of the success on opening of a Gehenna gate.

Episode 3
During the meeting, it is said there are traitors inside True Cross Order. One of them is inside the Japanese branch and hence it is Shura’s job to expose that mole. Soon, the academy will have a festival and for the dance party, a boy and girl can only enter. Obviously Shima and Rin trying to ask any girls but too bad, all are fully booked. No wonder they look like zombies the next day. How depressing. Why is Suguro also looking the same? Because a girl asked him and he turned her down, making her cry! OMFG. But Shiemi springs a surprise as she has passed her entrance exam and will soon be in the same class with them. This is when she tells Rin about her ‘tryst’ with Yukio. Now she is like best friends with Paku and Izumo just can’t believe it. Shiemi also learns about the festival when Rin wants to talk to her about the same. Before he could ask her, she already has set her mind on asking Yukio! Heartbreak. However when Shiemi mentions about Yukio’s strange stares, she thought it was fatigue and all. Rin knows better. Shiemi then asks Yukio only to be turned down. He is a staff on that date and won’t have much free time. Meanwhile as Shura snoops around and calls out to Mephisto hiding about, the latter thinks the former suspects him as a spy. However he warns her if she gets in his way, he will crush her with his own hands. Paku learns of Shiemi being turned down by Yukio and Rin never asked her. Well, Shiemi subsequently talked to Rin about it and asked for suggestions! No wonder that kid ran away even more heartbroken! Paku trying to hint if she likes any of the brothers more in terms of romance but she is confused. There’s your answer. During the festival, Rin tries to get Izumo to help out at his stall due to lack of manpower. At first she turns him down but after he is saying how he trusts her and all, she accepts it. Since he owes her one, this doesn’t please her as she warns him he should learn how to read people’s hidden sides. Obviously Izumo is going to stand up on Rin and won’t even turn up. Though, Paku tells her to be true to her feelings. At night, Rin spots Shiemi and it’s the best time for them to reconcile. See, they’re laughing in no time. Then both go to drag Yukio to join them in the dance. Can 3 people dance? Just go around in circles! Such happy people. Izumo decides to turn up as she doesn’t want to feel bad. However Takara confronts her and needs her to come with him. She won’t and so he shows her mascot familiar in his possession. This makes her very angry.

Episode 4
Izumo accuses Takara as being an Illuminati spy. Meanwhile Arthur is beating up an Illuminati spy to make him spill the beans. Lightning has a better approach: He brings in his wife and son. If he doesn’t talk, he’ll have to turn to them for answers. Instantly he reveals his job is to keep them here because they don’t want them interfering with their plans of abducting a girl being sheltered at the Japan branch. Now we need a name… Shura receives word that Izumo is missing and mobilizes the usual ones to split up to go find her. Takara gives back the mascot to her and claims Paku gave it to him. She calls out his bluff because she gave this to Paku as a charm so there is no way she would’ve given it away. Takara also reveals he is the coordinator who watches over them, especially guarding her from the Illuminati. She doesn’t buy it and fights back. Too bad her fox familiars are scared of his mecha punch! Damn right, they can’t do a thing! Shima is here to save the day as he summons a high grade demon to fight off Takara’s offence. Damn, this guy can fight while carrying Izumo?! When he is about to spear through Takara’s soul, his eyes open and some huge power happens. His bunny puppet has to calm him down to close back his eyes again. Izumo is going to run for help but that is when Shima stabs her! OMG. Shima is the Illuminati spy?! Just in time because his Illuminati gang led by Homare arrives. At the same time, the angel Seraphim pops up all over the world to make an announcement by Lucifer, the leader of Illuminati, the king of light and Mephisto’s brother. He reveals his war declaration on the knights of True Cross as well as resurrecting their father AKA Satan. Once Gehenna and Assiah are merged, the worlds will return to its state of nothingness. This will bring balance, freedom and equality to all. Lucifer wants Mephisto to join him but obviously he rejects. He finds better peace in the coexistence of these so called vulgarity of different species. As they leave, Rin tries to go save his friends but is in shock when Shima blocks him. He warns Rin that he must be prepared to kill humans as many are in the Illuminati. He leaves with his group, leaving everyone especially Suguro in bitter despair. With the Seraphim self-destructing and taking out some of the barriers, low level demons are now all over the place. Mephisto will have to bring back order so he puts Yukio in charge with this current team of Esquire to rescue Izumo. He confirms Takara is on their side and is a first class Exorcist. He laments he didn’t do more investigation on Shima but before he could brand him an Illuminati member, Rin warns him that is not decided yet.

Episode 5
There’s this strange dream of Izumo’s mom, Tamamo pleading her daughter to help her. Izumo is not impressed and blames her. Hinted some massacre? Izumo also has a younger sister, Tsukumo whom she loves dearly and will protect at all costs. Now our Esquires board a plane to Shimane prefecture, to head near Inari Taisha. Thanks to Takara latching a familiar onto Izumo, he can trace her location. Yukio discusses about the happenings at all True Cross HQs around the world and it is confirmed all have been attacked and bombed by Seraphim. He also talks about the Illuminati that was founded more than 200 years ago. Although constant surveillance by True Cross showed it has been dead, its name keep popping up in several investigations they did. They didn’t know it was a much bigger terrorist organization. Yukio knows more but cannot tell them due to the contract he is bound to. Since Suguro continues to be somewhat depressed, Rin playfully mocks him so as to let him take out his stress. Even when Suguro gets serious about what he’ll do, Rin continues to tease him. It’s alright. He should be this way. Rin realizes they too cared for him and believes Shima needs someone like that. When Izumo is awake in a lab, she is surprised to see Shima. But not as surprised when he calls in his higher ups. Tamamo is wheeled like a weakened mummy, feebly pleading for help to save her. But the heinous villain behind it is Michael Gedoin. It seems there was an understanding for Izumo to reach a certain class as an Esquire. However with Gedoin’s research, that is no longer necessary. You see, he has managed to make a demon inhabit a human body indefinitely and of course Tamamo was the guinea pig. It was a success. As long as it belongs to the Kamiki family, this is possible. Now that Tamamo is close to death, will Izumo take her place? Or will it be Tsukumo? Izumo instantly offers herself. Gedoin is pleased since he isn’t a lolicon to begin with.

Shura has been injured by the blast but she heard it all from Mephisto and is not pleased of everything. Yukio reports to Mephisto that they have arrived. They check out the place. Looks like a theme park with friendly people around. Many old folks seem to want to move into a huge complex named Peace Town Inari that is founded by Inari Light Foundation. Yeah, sounds suspiciously like it belongs to the Illuminati! Takara has summoned a fox deity who is Izumo’s familiar and will tell them how Izumo is related to it all. An incident that happened 5 years ago. Speaking of her, she is shocked to learn what happened from Shima who explains that he joined Illuminati shortly before enrolling at True Cross. He was approached by Toudou to do so. So why is he doing this? He is sick of everything. His friends and family. He just wanted to get out. Izumo gives him a nasty slap, labelling him a traitor since she has always thought all of them were her comrades. But Shima throws that back at her because he thought they were the same. This shocks Izumo because she realizes there is truth in that. Because she never told what’s important to her to others, she never trusted anyone. She is the biggest traitor.

Episode 6
The Kamiki is a branch of the Inami family and Tamamo was the 64th head priestess. Well, when you have a mom who is always crying and pleading to her own daughter for help! It says a lot. Not even Izumo was impressed. Despite being lazy and clumsy, it was her powers that were formidable. As head priestess, it was her duty to appease the demons especially the Killing Stone that resided the 9 tailed demon fox. It got more complicated as Tamamo’s husband, Souji was the head of the Inami clan and Izumo and Tsukumo were illegitimate children fathered by him. He was never at home and some openly display their disgust to Izumo and Tsukumo. Even the fox familiars did not favour Izumo even if she succeeded Tamamo since she lacked her powers. One day Izumo was confronted by the Illuminati led by Gedoin. Maria Yoshida introduced them to her as a group trying to research on demons and coexist with them. They were interested in the Killing Stone and the demon inside it. Of course Izumo found them shady and distrusted them. Yoshida left her name card to call if she ever changed her mind. Soon, Tamamo got her much awaited ‘date’ with Souji. But then he told her he didn’t want to see the children and never to speak of them again. This devastated Tamamo a lot that she cannot focus on her duties and started neglecting them. To a point she even blamed her kids for this!

Then tragedy fell. She started attacking others priests and holed herself up in her room. When the rest broke through, they see her kidnapped Souji and that fox demon had assimilated into her. All were killed. She was about to target her own kids but the other fox familiars saved them to let them escape. That was when Izumo contacted Yoshida. By the time Illuminati captured Tamamo, Killing Stone disappeared, a sign that the 9 tailed demon fox has been resurrected and this worked in their favour. Tamamo continued to be painfully experimented and tortured under Gedoin as the sisters were held captive as her replacement should her body give way. One day, Tsukumo went missing. Yoshida told Izumo she put her up for adoption to save her. Because Tamamo’s body might soon give way and Gedoin hinted he would use Tsukumo next. Yoshida vowed to escape with her and needed to do a few things so she wanted Izumo to stay put for a while. However Izumo distrusted her and left. Yoshida was caught by Gedoin for her betrayal and then injected a serum that killed her instantly. Looks like his serum for immortality failed. With Izumo captured, Gedoin told he the serum was created using Tamamo. He threatened her about Tsukumo and if she played obedient, she would leave her sister alone for a while. Izumo agreed to that but cursed herself all these happened because she relied on someone else. From now on, she will not and hoped to find the moment to kill these bastards.

Episode 7
Well, if you didn’t get all that story, it doesn’t change the fact our heroes are going to rescue their friends. That’s the basic gist of it. As Izumo is being brought to Gedoin, she mocks Shima that he must be feeling so fine or sad right now. Then she starts to throw a tantrum that she will die. But it is just a distraction so she can beat up the guards to summon her familiars and escape. She won’t get far as Shima stands in her way. As our Esquires make their way to Peace Town, the familiar continues to tell how the people here are void of all negative feelings. Everybody’s so happy like a child. Once they are completely charmed, they will take a bus into Peace Town in which they are never seen again. The Esquires barge in through the front door and fight the guards. This isn’t a stealth mission. They are surprised it is a shopping complex but void of anybody. And just when they find someone, it is a ghoul. No, a zombie! Apparently there’s a difference. Now there is a horde of them! Hope you played Resident Evil! So why look so shock when the zombies revived?! Didn’t Yukio say they were harder to kill?! Anyway, this swarm is unleashed by Gedoin. But he panics upon seeing Satan’s son in the mix. He changes his plan. Drop everyone into the feeder to face fiercer zombies and he’ll offer the sons to Lucifer himself. Everyone falls down the whole and is separated. Except for Kuro. I thought Yukio said to stick together so how the f*ck did this kitty got separated?! Back to Izumo’s fight with Shima, it seems her familiars defend and fight for her even if she didn’t order them. Sadly, both are no match for Shima. In despair, she loses all hope and returns to be Gedoin’s experiment. At the same time, Lucifer has awakened and summons Gedoin for an update.

Episode 8
This is the first time Gedoin sees Lucifer so he is creaming all over his lord. Even more so when Lucifer thanks his invention for keeping him alive. Gedoin then mentions the good news about Izumo’s compatibility and can start the transplant soon. He also tells the good news of capturing Satan’s sons. However Lucifer wants Rin to be left alone and he will return Rin himself to Mephisto while he thinks of what to do with Yukio. This shocks Gedoin because won’t Rin be a hindrance to their plan? Even so, Lucifer cannot go against his father’s orders. But when it comes to it, he will take action himself by killing Rin even if it means going against father’s wishes. Because Homare suggests the guards can help fight against Rin since Lucifer is still exhausted, Lucifer seeks Shima’s advice. Shima believes the chances of succeeding is only 50-50. He also mentions Rin’s soft heart is both his weakness and strength. With Lucifer feeling sick again, he leaves it to Gedoin to complete his elixir for he will present to father a perfect body. Homare has Shima help Gedoin. But soon Gedoin receives report that Izumo is not compatible anymore. They have run so much more tests after that and it seems going ahead with the transplant means she is likely to die instantly. Gedoin doesn’t care since the chances aren’t zero and will hinge on that minute percentage for success. But he still panics on what Lucifer will do to him if he fails. Then he has this brilliant plan to kill Rin. Maybe Lucifer will forgive him for disobeying orders. Yeah… And so he unleashes hideous chimera zombies into our Esquires’ chambers. Konekomaru thinks he might die from but realizes he can’t lose and uses his brain to use the monster to repetitively hit the wall till there is a hole for him to escape. Kuro helps him get out of this ventilation. He then sees Yukio holding well on his own. What he sees next shocks him because there is Shima watching from the command centre like a boss. Now we focus on Suguro as he uses his bazooka filled with charms against the monster. This monster can speak and only cares about going home. Shima is forced to make it looks at its own ugly face. So ugly it died? Nah, Suguro performs exorcism to bring it peace while he reminisces about his own sacrifices and dreams. Rin breaks out of his chamber as Konekomaru realizes he has not yet decided to fight. When he pleads for Rin to do so, Rin is confused because he needs to know he is fighting on the humans’ side. With everyone getting out and reunited, Gedoin makes his presence known.

Episode 9
Gedoin ignores Shima’s advice that this is all going downhill. Instead he tells Shima to bring Izumo as he is going to begin the experiment. While he does that, Gedoin reveals to our Esquires how he uses this lab to experiment the immortality elixir on the people of this area. Yes, all the zombies were duds. Don’t worry, all the people have been drugged by their food so they won’t feel any pain at all in the experiment. Thank Lucifer for such benevolence! Gedoin then gives the monster some overdose drug and now it is growing into a much bigger size. So while everyone is disgusted with Gedoin’s vileness, Gedoin claims he hates humans. In fact, conducting experiments on other species to survive just shows how hypocritical we are about justice, no? Humans should do experiments on themselves. When is Izumo is spotted, Rin goes in to save her but is stopped by Shima. But when Rin gets the opportunity to take her away, Izumo will not go with him. She claims she never asked for his help and will fight this battle herself. Rin is left in shocked but Shima continues to keep him company. However the monster devours him as he hears the cries and pains of all the poor souls. Conflicted. What is he going to do? But what the heck are the rest doing?! Anyway, Izumo is given assurance by Gedoin that Tsukumo is fine. He knows this pig is lying and for all she knows, Tsukumo could be dead. Seeing her pitiful mom pleading for help, Izumo would of course do it unlike selfish mommy. Her goal is to take control of the 9 tailed demon fox and dominate it and everyone here. As Izumo begins her ritual, looks like she fails as the 9 tailed demon fox kills her since she is too weak. However Gedoin has foreseen this. Because with his technological genius, he has created a mask and will force the 9 tailed demon fox to transfer over. It is a success but Izumo continues to resist being controlled by it. She reminisces how much she hates her Esquire pals because they’re all so different in their thinking. But in the end, she realizes despite so, she still loves them. Huh? What? Yeah well, too late to realize this. Good news, Rin just breaks through. Gedoin trying to blab about him being a hypocrite so Rin just punches him to shut him the f*ck up! Shima has orders to abandon the fatty and you bet he is more than happy to oblige. Izumo wants Rin to save her mom too but panicky Gedoin thinks he has a trick up his sleeve as he drops all the zombies into the area.

Episode 10
Izumo realizes she cannot hold back the 9 tailed demon fox as it overwhelms her. The rest are unsure of what to do. Only the Kamiki family is a specialist in taming an ancient spirit. Suddenly Tamamo gets back up. She dodges Izumo’s attacks like a boss! Then she forces the 9 tailed demon fox to come back into her body. Doing so means she will also die along with it. Izumo is in despair that of all times, why is mom doing this to save her right now? Simple. Because she loves her. Too late for Izumo to realize she is wrong. But mom tells her she is no longer alone. As Tamamo dies, this brings back memories for Rin because Fujimoto too died protecting him. Sorry, this emotional reunion is cut short because our fatty is in rage. He turns himself into a monster because he believes he is the chosen one. Yeah, now he becomes and even hideous monster! Izumo will deal with him and has the others help stave off the zombies while she performs her ritual. She is glad to have her fox familiars back by her side as she starts her long chant. Sorry Gedoin, Izumo doesn’t hate humans now. With Gedoin defeated, Yukio calls for a retreat since they have completed their mission. But what about Shima? That guy is kind enough to show his face. He says he is escaping so Suguro asks if it was his fault that he betrayed. Shima denies and claims he is doing this for his own. Luckily for our Exorcists, other Exorcists from other branches are here as reinforcements to contain the zombies.

In the aftermath as Izumo recuperates in hospital, Takara reports Gedoin has gotten away. She despairs this is not over. Especially she doesn’t know where Tsukumo is. Takara then reveals when Yoshida sent her to an orphanage, she also made a deal with True Cross. He takes her to see Tsukumo now living happily under her adopted family as Tsukiko Takara. That’s right, this means she is technically Takara’s cousin and her adopted family owns a toy company who is owned by Mephisto. When Izumo approaches Tsukiko, the latter doesn’t recognize her. Well, it’s not supposed to be funny. Izumo hands back the doll and Tsukiko is ecstatic since she was told she was born with this doll. Izumo then says goodbye and returns to her hospital room. So that she can lash out at Shiemi? Blaming her for her sheltered and privileged life? Hence she has no idea how it feels her own sister has forgotten her? Oh look, you made her cry too! But Shiemi is smiling. Because Paku told her before about Izumo being envious of her freedom. So awkward. Is Izumo going to beat up that big mouth? Suguro overheard this outside. He tries to not let the other guys come in at this wrong moment. Too bad Izumo’s bad temper means she still zaps them. Izumo prays at Tamamo’s grave and vows she will no longer feel sorry for herself. Then everyone returns home.

Episode 11
Everyone is wondering on how to deal with Shima when they are approached by Juuzou and Kinzou who start apologizing. They reveal that Shima is a double agent. About a year ago, Shima handed over a card given to him by the Inari Light Foundation. He was then told to stay away from it as Juuzou believed Illuminati was behind this and had a history of recruiting those in True Cross. He then talked this to the family head as well as Mephisto. The latter suggested using Shima as a spy to attain more info. The rest disagreed because of the burden but Shima overheard this and volunteered to do it because he wanted to. This was to prove himself that he could stand on his feet. So when asked if he was prepared to betray those he trusted and loved, Shima is confident that was his specialty. Now we see blob-like Gedoin before Lucifer on their flying stealth airship. Gedoin is told his research lab has been overrun by True Cross but Lucifer had always intended to abandon it. Though, he is baffled in the actions he took. Gedoin pleads for mercy as he claims he was doing this to please him. It seems like Lucifer forgives his silly actions because it also reflects on him. But then after claiming Gedoin is just a normal human, he disintegrates him! OMFG! His hair is the only thing left?! Because Lucifer has declared war, things that waste their time will be eliminated. Back at the academy, everyone is down obviously because of Shima. But WTF Rin comes in dressed and Shima and acting like him?! Nobody is in the mood! And then… THE REAL SHIMA POPS BACK IN!!! OMFG! This is not an illusion!? But WTF?! Yukio plays along and takes attendance of both Shima?! Even Shima has to make a stupendous comeback about how weird everything is. Well, if he is the real Shima, get ready to be punched by Suguro! He will forgive him but needs him to explain everything. First, everyone beats him up for the troubles he has put them through.

Shima is ‘saved’ since Mephisto is here to take them to his office since Lightning is here. He has come to determine if Shima can be trusted. Otherwise, he will be tortured! Shima explains how he got back here. Apparently Homare sent him back. She is well aware his friends will not crucify him. Plus, she wants him to get more info on True Cross. He must otherwise he is useless. And you know what that means. So now he is officially a spy for both sides. Hence he is a pawn and now it depends on which side can use him better! This the sh*t you signed up for, Shima? So, can he be trusted? Awkward silence by everyone… Until Rin surprisingly says he is not to be trusted. Actually he meant Mephisto. Everyone agrees and turns on Mephisto for hiding crucial info especially the Impure King incident. Even Yukio using this chance to try and make Mephisto reveal why Satan’s spawn is allowed to live. Mephisto being the sly guy, he claims all of them are his precious indispensable pawns whom he controls. Take heart he is not their enemy. This makes Rin mad but Mephisto shows his power to show him his place. Lightning is pretty sure now that Mephisto is not trusted. But what about Shima? Slowly, all claim they believe in him. With that, Lightning leaves as he doesn’t want word of this to spread any further. As they leave, Shima approaches Yukio and knows he has met Lucifer.

Episode 12
It seems Shima has a message from Lucifer himself: If Yukio ever feels like it, his door is always open for him. Flashback shows Yukio did meet Lucifer after he fought the monster in his cell at Gedoin’s lab. Lucifer took a look into his eyes and found it fascinating. If True Cross found out about it, they would lock him away as experiment or worse, execute him. He offered him to join Illuminati and can save him. After all, he is weak and his soul is weak. This made Yukio angry as he started getting jealous of Rin’s flames. He wanted to have it. Lucifer even added he could help unlock his true power if he learnt the secrets behind his eyes and birth. Yukio still rejected him but Lucifer knew they will meet again. Shima as a ‘friend’, advises Yukio to consult someone. Rin thought the gang would return to normal but it seems Suguro has trust issues with Shima. He only said he trusted him to save his neck. Nothing more. This is awkward. Early next morning, Shima is out for a jog and stumbles into Suguro. He tells him that he is having the time of his life as a spy because he gets to do whatever he wants freely. This affirms Suguro’s feelings that he cannot be trusted. Shima then goes to report to an Illuminati spy about his progress. Shima is ordered to put pressure on Yukio to join Illuminati. Yukio visits Shura who will be discharged soon. She learns what happens and as for Shima being allowed by True Cross Order to continue as a spy, he is the only source of info they’ve got. She also thinks Shima would talk to Suguro and Konekomaru seeing it is pretty hard to deceive family. Our gang get a reward to visit a spa resort. Yukio asking Konekomaru if he trusts Shima and yes he does. This is solely based on the Impure King incident whereby Shima abandoned everyone but then returned. Then the guys notices Shima acting weird. In fact, he blames them all for being weird. It’s all so fake. Is he still holding a grudge? Apparently he is talking about some legendary slide, one sliding down with a girl. He can’t let this chance slip away! WTF Rin also joins in but he affirms only Shiemi is for him! WTF they start fighting?! The rest notice cheeky monkey monsters (sent by Mephisto of course) causing them to reveal their true feelings. In the end, they are shooed away but the fighting caused the slide to be destroyed. Mad Shura gonna let those idiots have it. Later Rin talks to Yukio and thinks there is something bugging him. Mind telling him? This serves to make Yukio mad because this means he looks weak. He puts up a fake smile and says everything is alright. He was just tired. Deep down, he vows to become stronger than Rin.

Izumo-nati: You Are (Not) Alone!
I am not sure if they will animate future arcs because from what I have seen, there are a lot more arcs after this Illuminati one. Well, there is a reason why a series like this didn’t get its arcs the up to date anime treatment. Yeah, I read that those who read the manga have started to get weary as the story drags on. Like as though it has outlived its welcome and hyped. I don’t know, I haven’t read them so I can’t say. After all, the manga came out way back in 2009 and is still ongoing and the first season of this series aired in 2011. Oh yeah. Holy f*ck! It’s more than a decade old! I can see why… But don’t worry people, we’re getting a sequel soon so this means the next arc will get animated! Hooray! Now how many more arcs till we catch up… One step at a time.

Contrary to many comments about this season who said that this season was a downer, I actually found this season to be as interesting as the previous one. Although, I can’t remember much of the Impure King saga and hell no at this point I am going to rewatch it again. Yeah, yeah. Too many animes to watch! So yes, the main story for this season basically turns out to be a rescue mission for Izumo and it might have gotten a bit draggy towards the end but surprisingly, that didn’t wane my interest for the season. I must have really different taste from the majority. So yes, I find this season as interesting as the last one although there are obviously a lot more potentials and developments (Lucifer’s war declaration) that we can only see play out in future arcs.

As we can see, this season deals with issues of certain characters and the big one goes to Izumo. It delves into her past as we discover why she has always been such a loner and unfriendly cold b*tch. Now we know why. Izumo fans can rejoice as we see her character develop although she has to go through the hard way and it was sometimes painful to see her go through all that anguish, physically and mentally. This season also helps to solve that glaring problem and weakness of hers as after this incident, Izumo is now open to the concept of friendship (good because this won’t make Shiemi a lonely girl without any girl friends – other than Paku) and she won’t dislike or shoot down that notion without thinking. It was a bittersweet ‘conclusion’ for her that she has to lose her mother (to death) and little sister (to identity change and amnesia?) but she has moved on stronger after facing her past head on. I am sure she will be a useful asset to the team from now on seeing that she no longer has such shackles that inhibit her development.

The other big noteworthy character is Shima himself. Oh boy, you thought this guy of nothing but a perverted joker. Yeah, an OVA featuring him to become Mephisto’s info lackey may have made us conclude he is just that type of character. So it is one of the shocking factors to see him become a traitor and especially for the Illuminati group. I mean, of all people. Shima! The group’s perverted joker is the betrayer?! Certainly pull a wool over our eyes. And to think they wanted us to suspect Takara because he has been acting the most suspicious since day one. Obviously with such suspicions, he cannot be the spy or traitor, no? Or can he? And turns out he isn’t. Phew. But yeah, it felt like a downer after all that baseless expectations. So his family become Tsukumo’s benefactor. Wow. What a convenient plot.

Anyway, back to Shima. I’m sure we’re all feeling as bitter and regretful like Suguro and Konekomaru that he who is seemingly a core component of Rin’s gang, to turn out to be the mole. Well, double psyche! Because he’s playing the double agent role! Wow. What a great relief, RIGHT?! To deceive your enemies, first you must deceive your friends. Uhm, who is the enemy and who is the friend? Confused! Yeah, at this point I am not even sure if we should trust him. Uh huh. Trust issues now. We don’t know whose side he is playing and for all you know, maybe it is just for himself. His friends may continue to believe in him but as us viewers, we’re not so sure anymore. I mean, this casual laidback guy can actually put on a straight face and look you in the eye and lie! Oh my, is that his real specialty? And because he established himself as a perverted joker, we let our guard down. So is Shima the most dangerous character? I don’t know, but whoever uses him the best, it will definitely mean he is on that side. One thing is for sure, we won’t see Shima the same way he is like before. Each time we see him now, we keep wondering if he is trustworthy or not. Can he be trusted? Thanks Shima. Now nobody believes you squarely. At least better than Mephisto whom nobody trusts.

This season introduces Lucifer as the main antagonist albeit he is still in his weakened state. Hence Gedoin as the much despicable villain for the season. The guy who hates humans and wants nothing more to do with his own species is written so that we can pour and dump our hate on him. I can relate with him about hating humans but nothing more… After what he has done to the women in the Kamiki family and making poor Izumo cry! Why that vile fatty villain! Obviously he has no redeeming qualities so there is not an ounce of reason why we would want to support him. Unless you have very high Stockholm Syndrome complex. Even better for our young Exorcist heroes, they don’t even have to dirty their hands to kill him because the big bad Lucifer himself punishes this twisted soul and snuffs it out himself. Hope he enjoys hell for eternity. Assuming his soul hasn’t been blasted into nothingness.

Mephisto still holding the upper hand and showing that he is in control of everything and how he wants it to play out. So perhaps he could be the most dangerous character here. Thank goodness he is on our side? I don’t know, after trust issues with Shima’s case, it is hard for me to say because it is Mephisto we’re talking about. He is the biggest devil in disguise, so to speak. Literally. But one thing is for sure, you don’t want to make enemies out of this flashy and eccentric guy. As for the other characters, nothing much on them as I have said, Izumo and Shima have taken a bulk of the spotlight this season so the rest are sitting in the side-lines for now. So for example like Shiemi, it is just official now that she has joined our Exorcist club but that is about it. Rin still having his anger management issues as well as his dilemma to be on the side of humans and not harm them. Yukio having bigger problems to deal with as we can see. Suguro and Konekomaru a lot of brooding between them because of Shima’s case. Kuro, they just brought in this cat for transportation and plot convenience, did they? Shura, MIA! Paku… Uhm, she just exists for friendship material?

Of course in the finale, we see very interesting developments in Yukio. Perhaps it is his turn for the limelight. I have a hunch he may join Illuminati in his bid to become stronger. I mean, if no one especially True Cross order can help him, what are his options, right? It’s scary to see this cool guy turn to the dark side but then again, he is always putting up that nice face just to assure us but deep down his heart is dark, twisted, confused and above all, the most taboo word for him: Weak. Another trust issue will develop between the brothers soon…

Action bits are rather okay. This is after all a shonen demographic series. I won’t go so far as to say that they are unsatisfying but it seems I am more interested in the plot and character development rather than the action bits. Yeah, how strange for a bloodthirsty person to say that! But I feel that this one doesn’t overwhelm the plot and character development. For example, when our young Esquires get trapped in Gedoin’s lab to fight his chimera zombie monsters. Uhm, that just feels pretty basic. Like as though they needed to feature some sort of battle for the sake of some action. I mean, an Izumo rescue mission against the vile Illuminati and no fighting occurs? That would be even stranger! Then we have Izumo showcasing and using more of her familiars as well as Shima using his deity trump card. Don’t really understand nor am I that impressed but whatever.

Well, 7 years is a long time and it is no longer A-1 Pictures who animated this third season. Studio VOLN (Kimi No Suizou Wo Tabetai, Karakuri Circus, Back Arrow, Idol Jihen) took over and as far as I can see, there is not much of a difference. Yeah, maybe I forgot but at least there are no major changes like characters looking obviously different that it would cause some major outrage somewhere over the internet. Maybe I just couldn’t remember. But yeah, the characters’ look remain the same like Izumo’s weird eyebrows. Yeah. Is it me or do I notice now that most of the characters look chubby or at least have a broad face. Like Rin, Yukio, Suguro, Izumo, Shiemi… SHIEMI?! Of course the most hideous looking character is Gedoin himself. I mean, WTF he looks like some pig and hippo having a love child?! Call it hate speech but damn, this short fat guy looks freaking hideous! Even Lucifer and Mephisto (*cough*) look way better than him! Maybe they really want us to hate this ugly motherf*cker and match it with his equally black heart.

Unlike the animation studio, thankfully the seiyuus of previous seasons retain their role. New seiyuus joining this season include Nobuyuki Hiyama as Gedoin, Sayaka Ohara as Tamamo, Tomokazu Seki as Lightning, Kouki Uchiyama as Lucifer, Megumi Han as Homare and Rina Endou as Tsukumo (if she sounds like a genuine loli, note that she was the voice of Tsumugi in Amaama To Inazuma – oh wait, that was in 2016! And she still sounds like a true blue loli?!). Uverworld who sang the opening for the second season, also sings the opener here, Eye’s Sentry. If you’re familiar with their brand of rock music, be assured that this one sounds more or less the same. For the ending weird, I think Gakkyuu Nisshi by Mulasaki Ima sounds weird. At least her voice. I don’t know, is she the reincarnation of Janis Joplin?! Thus it makes this slow-moderate rock song sounds a bit weird.

Overall, despite some shortcomings and the huge potentials for future arcs, I still say that this season is interesting since it kept me glued to the screen instead of my mind meandering somewhere else in la-la land while the episode is running! That is my measuring stick of whether or not an anime is great. Thankfully this season still is and I hope they won’t take many more years to animate the next one. In the meantime, I’m going to check out a lot of Illuminati memes and see how far they’ve infiltrated into our lives and make us all paranoid! Yeah, what if this series is actual proof that the Illuminati exists for real! Might be a few years and seasons late but hey, we’ve been here all the time! We’re all really screwed if we need Satan’s son to fight it instead of God!

Makeruna Makendo

Random browsing… Random browsing… Oh, what is this? Makeruna Makendo… Macarena what?! Oh, it has nothing to do with that infectious dance song from 1993. Looks like a funny show… Just only 1 single episode. From 1995. Okay, I’m on it. The plot? A man being turned into a cyborg against his will teaming up with a pair of magical girl sisters to fight monsters and save the world. Uhm… Sounds generic and unexciting but okay. Just check it out and see what it has to offer.

Don’t lose…
Eizan Kamiyouji has been turned into a cyborg known as Makenka by Dr Mad. However with this new body that is better equipped and stronger, Eizan is appalled because this is not what he wants. In his bid to force Dr Mad to undo the changes, he kills him! Oh my. However Dr Mad’s true form is a brain so he is able to survive and escape. He too has other cyborgs made and sends Chukan, Dinosaur and Shou to hunt down the traitor. Meanwhile police officer, Doro tries to convince Mai Tsurugino to do her job to hunt down monsters since she has the powers to destroy them. However she is not interested and refuses. Not her problem. Monsters don’t even bother her. Even when one pops up before her, she doesn’t give the f*ck and the embarrassed monster just makes his way! Mai’s sister, Hikari thought Doro is harassing her so she goes to beat him up. He is impressed by her skills and invites her to become a monster hunter. Hikari is very interested as he gives her this sword but Mai snatches it away and doesn’t want her sister to become like her. Doro and Hikari see a beaten up monster and he claims there is a monster hunter who is looking for somebody and is beating them up.

Doro takes Hikari back to HQ to search the database. An unknown Makenka entry, Doro thinks of making this guy work for him too to lessen his workload. Then he notices a strange pair looking at the database. Definitely not his fellow police. After calling out to them, it turns out they are Chukan and Shou and are trying to get more info on Makenka. They escape. At the same time, Makenka is beating up monsters to find somebody who will restore his original body. One of the monsters say only Dr Mad can do it. But he is dead, right? Nope. They saw him the other day. This leads Makenka to a makeshift camp of Dr Mad. Doro then approaches Makenka to invite him to join his side to fight against monsters. Clearly Makenka is not interested in world justice. Not his problem! Seeing Dr Mad, once again the brain escapes but Makenka hot on his tail. Or cranium.

Hikari continues to bug Mai for the sword. Not going to give it to them. Then the enemy cyborgs crash in as they think one of them is Makenka. Hikari gets violent and goes to fight them so Mai has no choice but to transform and also fight. With Hikari getting owned, this time Mai relents and will give her the sword. Only, she buried it! Just hold on a minute. How to activate it? Doro is here to tell her to recite some tongue twisting words. After a few tries, she gets it right and transforms. Makenka has also come into the scene since he is chasing Dr Mad. The enemy cyborgs then combine and become an invincible unit. Doro suggests the trio combine their powers (how the f*ck he does that with a calculator?!) and so the trio do so and… Nothing happens. Yeah, enemy laughing like mad but he won’t be having the last laugh as the delayed effect then has him explode! Dr Mad escapes with Makenka once again on his trail. As Doro explains Makenka is a future monster hunter like them, Mai refutes because she isn’t going to be one. However Hikari is interested to join. Suddenly Hikari passes out. Because she’s hungry.

Monster Hunter Maken-duh!
Well, it was passable. It was fun while it lasted. No more episodes subsequently and my bet was right because this 1995 OVA was based on the video game of the same name in 1993. Oh, it had a sequel in 1995? So was this some sort of promotion to check out the game? Either way, in a time when internet was at its infant stages, my guess is that some OVAs were released back then just as introduction and exposure. That is why many OVAs like this one only had a single if not only a handful of episodes that do not bring much. The whole point is to go make you buy the game. I mean, what is the point of making cartoons based on toy lines if it does not serve the purpose to have kids buy them, right? Thus I feel this OVA is probably the same along those lines although I could be wrong.

So as you have already seen, nothing much or deep is fleshed out. Everything is just introductory from the plot to the characters. They just let us know that there are monsters in this world and certain people with certain powers are only qualified to handle or defeat them. That is all. The characters are oddballs and seeing this is comedy, they really ramp up some of the comical factors and jokes like Hikari accusing the cyborg enemies to be peeping toms. But Shou is female, how? She is a lesbian peeping tom! Yeah, that kind of dumbness is going to make you at least smirk a little and that is how this OVA rolls. My guess is that the sisters and Makenka from time to time will team up to fight monsters. Mai is reluctant and is forced to only because her eager beaver sister really wants the action and drags her in. While Makenka becomes too enthusiastic to get Dr Mad and force him to return his original body. Doro remains the sneaky cop and he is doing this only to lessen his whatever workload but all I see him is just goofing off. With a name like Dr Mad, he is your typical antagonist that our heroes must defeat to save the world. If they care about it in the first place. The fights look like a joke but I guess that is what you get when you have a mad professor who is the shape of a brain!

Art and animation as you can probably tell, reeks 90’s era style of animation with the character designs really looking so typical from that era. Like Eizan looking like your typical hero like you would see from other series of that era like Cyborg 009 and even, uhm, Mach Go Go Go AKA Speed Racer to all you western people. However the overall feel of the visuals look like as if it was for younger audience because the character designs are somewhat roundish, making them look cute (especially the sisters). Even the monsters too look somewhat cute than anything spooky. Except for Dr Mad in his brain form. That’s just hideous. Oh, I noticed a couple of bare tits but it is only during the sisters’ transformation scene. It’s quite fast so blink and you’ll miss it. On a trivial note, I spotted Nobuyuki Hiyama as Eizan/Makenka and the good ol’ Shigeru Chiba as Dr Mad. Even Hikaru Midorikawa is there as Chukan, Kotono Mitsuishi as Mai and Mika Kanai as Hikari. Yeah, the longer you go back in retro animes and find familiar names in the credits, the more you think these seiyuus are immortals!

Overall, thankfully this single OVA isn’t crap and there were a few dumb funny moments. Perhaps they want to leave some sort of impression because it’s going to be the only ever episode released. Because of that, I’m always left wondering if it could’ve been better had it had more episodes or even fleshed out as a proper TV season. Perhaps in another timeline. Thus this single OVA was just to pass some time and if you’re curious enough to take a look what’s it all about. Unfortunately it won’t be memorable in the long run as I pile on and watch even weirder retro animes and OVAs in the future. Yeah, I got so much time for anime rather than making the world a better place like solving world hunger, curing serious diseases and putting an end to wars and conflicts. Well because simply, I am not interested in those hard stuffs and furthermore that’s not my problem! Hah!

Mato Seihei No Slave

What is else there to say? With a name like Mato Seihei No Slave, you bet the kind of people that are going to watch this are those wanting to see the fanservice elements. Am I right?! Forget about hot young babes fighting monsters from another dimension with whatever special powers they have. Because they’ll soon discover another power that brings that power of theirs to the next level. That’s right. When you have a guy as their ‘slave’ who will power them up further and because we live in a world where there needs to be equal compensation, guess how they have to repay that without using monetary items? That’s right. You guessed it. Using their bodies! Oh yeah! Do we care about anything else except the raunchy fanservice that borderlines hentai stuffs? I don’t know, but this guy is the best and luckiest slave ever!

Episode 1
Yuuki Wakura might be a high schooler who is good at household chores but I guess bad times are so hard he has to look around for a job for his future. Suddenly he enters a different dimension. Don’t panic. Let’s read what the Wiki says when one enters into such alternate gateways known as Mato. When one enters this world filled with monsters known as Shuuki, stay where you are until the Demon Defence Force (DDF) arrives to rescue. Yup, that’s pretty much about it. But what if Shuuki pops up before DDF arrives? You just get to die?! Thankfully for Yuuki, Kyouka Uzen pops up to save his skin. She rendezvous with her other squad members, Himari Azuma, Shushu Suruga and Nei Okawaramura. These trio continue to search for lost civilians and they find a boy who then tells them his sister is missing. What are the chances she is being chased by a Shuuki? There she is. As Kyouka has her hands full fighting against the Shuuki horde, one is about to kill this little girl but Yuuki shields her. Don’t worry, nobody dies as Kyouka once again kills the Shuuki in time. With the Shuuki fast outnumbering them, Kyouka needs drastic measures. Because she heard nasty rumours she will never become DDF’s Supreme Commander, she’ll do what it takes to achieve that. First she asks if Yuuki is willing to do whatever it takes to get alive. Yes. There’s your permission. Because now she will make him her slave! Like a kiss? Nope. He licks her fingers! He turns into an intelligent Shuuki that surpasses all expectations with speed and power, easily despatching all the other monsters. Kyouka is impressed and wants him to be permanent with his job. As a slave?! So how? It’s a kiss this time! You see, in order for Kyouka to maximise her abilities, she must give her slave an equal compensation. So this is our sleazy excuse for some naughty bits!!! Our virgin boy gets the best French kiss in his entire life. Oh yeah. Definitely worth its reward. Yuuki agrees to be part of DDF seeing he can be a hero rather than his mundane boring life. Also, to avenge his sister’s death. And did I mention, a harem! Kyouka brings him back to her 7th squadron’s dorm. She introduces him to the rest and from now on he will be their caretaker! Sorry Yuuki. You’re still a slave! As for joining DDF, didn’t you know only women are allowed! Bummer. Have fun with your new life.

Episode 2
Yuuki must be so good at his housekeeping job. Nei looks like the kind senpai who enlightens him on some stuffs like despite their dorm located inside Mato, it is protected with a strong barrier. There are also other squadrons at different locations. Himari looks like she is going to be the man hater since she is not impressed with a guy in the dorm. Yuuki realizes his hero dreams won’t come true by staying a caretaker. So he ‘complains’ about it to Kyouka. It seems she will only use him when deemed necessary in battle. Otherwise, continue your caretaker job. Of course she warns that if he does something funny, she’ll twist it off! Later when Yuuki cleans the watchtower, he accidentally sees Himari getting in the bath. Naked! However this spotted by Shushu as she takes a picture of this and uses it as blackmail. Oh my. Now he has to be her slave to keep this hush. While he is not happy with this, what else choice he has? Besides, Shushu doesn’t see him as a man and more like a pet?! Yuuki then sees Kyouka giving Himari some fighting lessons. The former obviously much better. To top it off, she continues her combo on a wandering Shuuki! That’s how it’s done! Awesome! With everyone else off to a meeting, Yuuki will be left alone with Shushu. Oh no. Continuing to be her slave, he learns she is the youngest of 3 sisters and grew up without a dad. Going to an all-girls school, this is why she is interested in him as a guy. Then they play a penalty game in which Yuuki keeps losing. And he loses all his clothes! Yes, she is interested to see his junk! Internet doesn’t exist in this world?! Don’t worry about him being a man and getting dangerous. Because remember, she can change sizes and won’t let anybody take advantage of her. And she laughs at his small dick! That’s got to hurt for him. A powerful Shuuki wreaks havoc so Shushu goes giant size to fight it. She didn’t count on a huge mother after that. Lacking stamina, she takes a beating. Yuuki knows he needs to help but how? Remembering his transformation with Kyouka, the logic that he needs to lick one of Shushu’s clothes?! Well, some are temporary. But licking her boots turned him into a semi-Shuuki. He beats the mother down and in the aftermath, Shushu is now impressed with his erected dick???!!! WTF???!!! That’s a real monster! More blackmail material as she manages to snap a pic like as though he is enraging her modesty! Forever her slave… Meanwhile in another squadron, several DDF girls get picked off by a Shuuki. But this one is being controlled by a mysterious woman who seems to know Yuuki and wants to find him.

Episode 3
On Kyouka’s free day, she takes Yuuki to an important grave. This is also a memorial whereby her village was massacred by a single Shuuki known as Unihorn. Kyouka was a survivor and it devastated her that day. Ever since, she vowed revenge on Unihorn. This is why she brought Yuuki as he needs to power up to help her. Yuuki then takes her to a parfait café. That smile on Kyouka’s face certainly brings back memories of Yuuki’s late sister, Aoba. ‘Date’ interrupted when Kyouka receives a Mato alert. Rushing back, first she brings him to her room. That’s right. Our first sleazy fanservice of the day as Kyouka allows him to take off her stockings and lick her feet to power up. Rendezvousing with the rest, it seems a crater has formed and lots of Shuuki appearing. As they head to the battlefield, soon they encounter Unihorn. How convenient. More baffling, a woman riding and controlling it. As she takes out Shushu and Himari, she starts talking about her little brother whom she is obsessed with and currently finding. When a huge Shuuki interrupts, she destroys it for doing so! Don’t ruin her moment talking about her brother! She and Yuuki come face to face as she is surprised that he is not really a Shuuki. Soon she escapes with Unihorn. Kyouka is enraged she is escaping again but comes to her senses and help Yuuki defeat other Shuuki and help her comrades. Kyouka feels ashamed she almost lost to her rage. Back home, more sleazy pervy reward because Kyouka stepping on Yuuki’s crotch?! WTF?! Is he a masochist now?! They talk about that mysterious woman and although Yuuki has a hunch it could be Aoba (of course she is!), Kyouka thinks otherwise. Because she said her brother is the most handsome man in the world! I actually know how that works in anime… And the other thing is that they have not heard of a human turning into a Shuuki. So it can’t be her, right? I’m sure this is going to be a shocking twist in the future. And indeed that woman is Aoba as she returns to her similar comrades, Coco Zenibako and Naon Yuno. She realizes that Shuuki is indeed Yuuki. Oh well, surprise element over. Now it’s Shushu’s turn to give her slave some fanservice in the bath. When Yuuki thinks she is pulling a fast one, he didn’t actually count she is naked! Glorious tits! Damn, she gets turned on over him looking at her?! He runs away but now bumps into Himari changing. Oh well, this one really wants to kill him! His life saved when a couple of DDF from 6th squadron pops up, Tenka Izumo and Yachiho Azuma. Tenka flirts with the slave and needs him to bring Kyouka. Meanwhile I’m sensing bad vibes between Himari and Yachiho.

Episode 4
Tenka talks to Kyouka about the humanoid Shuuki. Her squad has encountered them a couple of times. At the same time, Yachiho trying to put down Himari and embarrass her. Something about she should be coming back to the family. Hence Kyouka suggests an exhibition match. Thus with Himari needing to get some serious training, she also claims Yuuki as her slave. You see, Himari’s ability is to copy others. However only 1 person at a single time. More than often, many abilities are useless (like Shushu’s growth only makes her boobs grow bigger?!). As Yuuki turns into his Shuuki form, he is faster than before although weaker in strength compared to Kyouka’s version. For this first reward, Himari’s body move against her will as she shows him her pantsu. Yeah, that’s our sleazy excuse for sleazy fanservice. And since it won’t be over till he is satisfied, she sits on his face!!! Man, he should up the level of his reward!!! And now Himari’s family back story. An accomplished Mato slaying family, however Himari always become sick when she gets nervous. Yachiho is always tormenting her on this so to prove herself, she broke ties with her family. As Yachiho’s ability is to freeze time and even rewind it, they need a move that will finish her off. Thank goodness with the bunch of Shuuki here to help Yuuki train. He finally develops a move. Is it a fluke? Can he pull it off again? Well, Himari shows her bare tits as reward! You bet he can do it again! Definitely! The usual training montage until fight day is here. Of course the usual sisterly b*tch showdown before the match. To even the odds, Tenka has brought an additional member, Sahara Wakasa. The match will be refereed by Ginna Bizen of another squad. You think Himari is a man hater? Wait till you see her reaction when Yuuki tries to even talk to her! First up is Himari vs Yachiho. Obviously. As Yachiho starts to brag, she is swiftly taken down by Himari-Yuuki combo. Shocked at first, she stops and reverses time to before the match starts. That should bring her down her high horse as she gets serious. Himari notices Yachiho already panting before the match starts and deduces something has happened so she has Yuuki try out another strategy.

Episode 5
Before the match started, Himari asked Sahara if Yachiho did any serious training. Sorry, Sahara is trying hard to be a retard and sleeping! WTF?! Rest assured, she didn’t see any. As Yachiho tries to pull off another time freezing ability, Himari-Yuuki runs out of her range to avoid getting into that time trap. As narrated whenever Yachiho is about to use her ability, she will do a strange pose that takes time to activate. If they are close to her, they can attack before she activates. If they are far, they can just get out of her range. As each ability drains her energy, they’ll run around to tire her out. Of course Yachiho picks up this tactic so she pulls off her secret trump card. This time she can freeze time double her original and her range extends far beyond that of normal. She fires a few shots and when time resumes, Himari and Yuuki are down. Yachiho mocks her she doesn’t have any way to counter this. Just before she is about to give up, Yuuki tells her off they didn’t come this far to lose. Has she not notice how tired Yachiho is? It means their plan has been working. They both get back up to attack. But this time Yachiho can only do her normal ability. At this point, Yuuki reverts to his human form. This confuses Yachiho as she ponders where the heck Himari is. Nevertheless she fires at Yuuki. Time resumes and Himari is right under her. In the end, Himari is left standing and wins it for her squad. It was her brilliant tactic to use Yuuki’s transformation because when that happens, smoke appears and it shrouded Yachiho’s vision. So you think the b*tch showdown is over? Yachiho confronts her sister and tries to convince her to rejoin the family since she has gotten stronger and it will be easier to train her. Obviously she turns her down as the 7th squadron is now her family. Poor Yachiho is left in tears and it is hinted that Yachiho actually loves her sister a lot and is just acting tough and tsundere! So for Yuuki’s reward (and ours), Himari starts kissing him. Multiple times! Oh yeah! For a girl with a sharp tongue, she sure has soft lips! She doesn’t think badly of men now. Well yeah, if everyone has a slave like Yuuki… Shushu in shock as she spies of them. Didn’t think it would be this physically demanding, huh? Next match is Shushu vs Sahara. However the latter continues to be a retard and sleeping?!

Episode 6
So the girls start off with a wrestling match. Then it’s time to use their powers with Shushu turning giant and Sahara as we all will be told, is allowed to boost her powers depending on how much time she has. The shorter the time, the more powerful it will be. Of course she will have a cooling period after each use. As Shushu takes a beating, she remembers in school her friends were bragging about having boyfriends. But Shushu wasn’t interested and wanted to join DDF for her excitement. Well, I guess she has found something even more exciting than that. Not wanting to lose face to Yuuki, she carries on fighting and just when she thought she knocked Sahara unconscious, this is actually Sahara activating her ultimate when she is asleep. This effectively knocks out Shushu. Safe to say, Sahara wins. Obviously Shushu is very sad about this. How can she face Yuuki? Well, nice guy tries to go comfort her. Since erasing memories of that embarrassing defeat won’t work, she kisses him! Also, because she lost, the most fanservice we’ll get out of her today is her exposed boobs from the fight. Nei then detects a couple of humanoid Shuuki watching. They pick up on her spying and mock her. Soon, a swarm of Shuuki invade. The barrier is broken thanks to Rairen. Our DDF girls fight the swarm as Kyouka and Himari combining to give Yuuki a new powerful form. Rairen is not impressed with their fighting and thinks they are not the ones. Yachiho tries to take her down until she is at her limits. Tenka takes over. Rairen thinks she is outnumbered but Tenka shows that she has already neutralized all the Shuuki army that has invaded.

Episode 7
Rairen thought Tenka would be easy meat. Tenka shows her true powers as she is able to rip apart the fabric of space and teleport everything she touches. There goes Rairen into the vortex. With the threat over and DDF reassemble to discuss what happened, Nei talks about the humanoid Shuuki that were present at the battlefield but didn’t show themselves. Could they be swept by the vortex too? Tenka and her squad return to write a report so the final duel have to be called off. This means our lucky Yuuki gets rewarded with double fanservice! Oh yeah! Fancy Kyouka and Himari bathing with him naked in the hotspring?! Later Nei draws a sketch of those other humanoid Shuuki but of course these are not who Yuuki and co encountered the last time. Hence he keeps pondering about the one that looks like Aoba. Why was she not with them? Is she in a different squad? Soon, Kyouka visits Tenka’s base to discuss further action. In the meantime, Yuuki is free so he tries to clean the place. Well, it’s just so damn clean. Just the laundry. Lots of lingerie! Why these girls wear so many lingerie?! Then he stumbles into Yachiho’s room. Oh boy. Himari’s pictures everywhere! Better get out! Then he sees Sahara sleeping in her undies and unwittingly becomes her bolster. That wrestling move is sure hard to escape! Then he sees Himari waiting for Yachiho to finish her training before talking to her. As usual, being tsundere and the sisterly spat. Sahara quips Himari would understand better if she just sees Yachiho’s room! Oh, she better not! Meanwhile Rairen still lives. Thanks to Shikoku’s help of pulling her right before she got sucked in. It seems their mission was to assess the strength of each squad’s commander before attacking DDF as a whole. Obviously, Rairen’s barge in and attack tactic proved wrong. Since Jouryuu agrees with Shikoku, they have to follow her plan now. Until all 8 of them are together, they will work in the shadows. With the meeting over, Tenka has a little personal favour of Kyouka: Can she borrow have Yuuki!

Episode 8
Tenka claims she wants to have a boy in her life. Or rather a pet. If Kyouka gives Yuuki to her, she will see to it she’ll become the next Supreme Commander. Kyouka instantly rejects because she will become one on her own accord. However when Tenka claims if she could have Yuuki on his free time, well, that’s the grey area. It’s not like Kyouka controls his private life. So Kyouka tells Yuuki about this so it’s up to him. Obviously with the girls working him to death, does he even has his own free time? As he ponders about this in his room, naughty Tenka drops by and starts flirting with him. Yeah, that sexy body gonna make him change his mind? Forget about being her pet, she can be her lover! Before anything steamier can happen, Shushu barges in and sees this unholy activity. Eventually everyone finds out and Tenka just gets a slap on the wrist. Next day, Kyouka has Nei combine with Yuuki to see what kind of new Shuuki he will become. He is much slower and weaker but his senses are now sharpened. How sharp? Why, he can see through your clothes! Best form ever? Next is Shushu but it seems Yuuki can’t grow as big as her and gets squashed. Training ends. Time for school for Nei. Sorry folks, she’s not a legal loli. Anyway, Yuuki gets permission to accompany her as he finds out her reason to join DDF. Her parents went missing and all hints point to the Mato incident. When they return, more flirting from Tenka. She’s still around? Thank goodness (or not), Shuuki alert. Kyouka takes Yuuki into battle and she looks mad. She tells Yuuki off that from now on, no more flirting with other girls from other squad because he is HER SLAVE! This scolding hypes up Yuuki that he even defeats a new type of Shuuki with ease. However this is all part of Shikoku’s plan to watch and gauge them. At the end of the battle, Tenka has fallen in love with Yuuki even more.

Episode 9
Another successful Shuuki hunt. So this time Yuuki’s reward is to carry Kyouka like a princess and kiss her? So mild… Back home, look who is making herself at home? Yeah, Tenka is going to be a frequent guest and the time split for Yuuki is going to be diluted further. Yuuki changes the topic and talks about his sister. When some young bully punk called his brother to beat Yuuki up, Aoba was there to kick his ass! Double victory as Yuuki also (barely) defeated his bully. Aoba was happy with the outcome and celebrated this victory. Soon, Nei detects someone inside Mato. Shushu and Himari go to save her first while Kyouka goes to get Yuuki in the bath. No time to put on clothes. On the double! When Shushu and Himari save the girl, turns out she is Coco and she attacks them back along with Naon. Himari suggests negotiating for peace but they turn her down. DDF will be crushed. By the time Kyouka and Yuuki arrive, they stumble into Aoba. But it is all a trap as Aoba kidnaps Yuuki and her comrades soon escape. When Yuuki wakes up, Coco is licking all over his body?! Sure, to heal his wounds. Talk about a different kind of assault! You bet Aoba isn’t going to be pleased when she sees this! Yuuki is certain from the way she acts, Aoba is her sister. Aoba hugs him. It has been so many years. She takes him to tour this hidden village where a few similar kind reside. Although they may look a bit like Shuuki, their souls are still human due to an accident unlike those Shuuki monsters. Those are truly 100% monsters. Yuuki suggests turning themselves in to DDF because they will protect humans. However they shoot his idea down. They view DDF as the enemy and can never be friends. Coco gives Yuuki eat a weird mushroom and he gets weirdly horny. Damn, he is attacking those huge ‘buns’! Can he fit Naon’s ass and Coco’s butt into his mouth!!! Aoba not going to be pleased… Later Yuuki notices Aoba eating one of those Mato peaches. She mentions there is a connection between her powers and this fruit. He wants to hear more of it. Kyouka has an idea where Yuuki is due to her ability to want to give him a reward and this makes her some sort of Yuuki radar. WTF WHAT?! But it isn’t the 7th squadron going to save him. The 6th squadron will also be joining in. Yeah, nobody is going to take away their slave-cum-boyfriend and live!

Episode 10
Before Aoba tells her story, Naon goes first with hers. She was an ordinary human working as a model. One day she got sucked into Mato. Lost, she ate a peach and her powers suddenly awakened, going berserk. Next thing she knew, she was naked inside a facility known as Onmyou Bureau. An old woman told her this is where they experiment and research on Shuuki. Naon was horrified her body was slowly turning into a monster so she pleaded for a cure. Instead, they told her to cooperate in hopes they will find a cure for it. Unfortunately as they prodded and probed her body, she couldn’t take any more of the torture and escaped. It’s the same for Coco as she couldn’t stand any more scars on her body. However it is slightly different for Aoba. After she ate the peach, her body underwent excruciating pain. She hid here until she got in until her control. It was also where she met Naon and Coco. This is why it took her a long time and a roundabout way to see Yuuki. Their goal is to destroy Onmyou Bureau who claim they are doing this for the better of the country but that is all just BS and politics. They have a few monster Shuuki who side with them: Kuma Douji, Akura and Kidoumaru whom we all know as Unihorn. Yuuki is appalled their attack will cause many innocent to get hurt. He suggests talking to the DDF. However they view them the same since they are under an umbrella organization.

Talk is cut short since they sense the DDF girls here. Coco and Kuma take on Shushu and Sahara. The DDF duo having problems since with Coco’s slimy body, all attacks on them slip off. Inside the caves, it is the sisters’ turn to fight. Yachiho thinks using her time stopping ability is enough to take down Akura (at the expense of her clothes being ripped!) but once she is done, she sees Naon launching a surprise ambush on Himari. Time to put on that face of despair. Kyouka and Tenka find Yuuki with Aoba. Tenka using her power to easily teleport Yuuki away. At a safe place, Kyouka starts licking Yuuki’s hand as reward. Getting any new ideas, Tenka? Wanna try it out? Of course! Double the fun! Hope they had their fill since Aoba is here. She launches an attack but Yuuki comes in between and wants his sister to hear them out. Can’t say no to her little brother. Although Kyouka agrees to help destroy Onmyou Bureau, Aoba will do as she pleases and kill those in her way. After all, they are victims too. Yuuki tries to convince her that Kyouka can be trusted. Trust this woman who turned her brother into a slave? Well, Yuuki says that was his decision. So to become a hero, he must be a slave? Too bad these b*tches don’t want to have longer conversation and thus they put Yuuki away so they can fight. So much about negotiating. While Kyouka takes on Kidoumaru, this could be Tenka’s chance to face Aoba so that she could introduce herself as Yuuki’s boyfriend! Hi, sister in law! For sure Aoba does not accept this b*tch and will kill her! Jouryuu has located Aoba and co and reports to Shikoku. It’s time they make their grand and godly entrance.

Episode 11
Aoba eats peaches to heighten her senses and power. This means she is on the offensive while Tenka is seemingly dodging and escaping via her portals. Aoba thinks that with this method, she’ll eventually wear down Tenka but Tenka is holding out until Kyouka wins hers. Meanwhile Shushu and Sahara continue to lose to Coco due to her healing abilities. Shushu gets mad when Coco brags about licking Yuuki all over. So she initiates her grand plan. Of running away! It may turn out so because when the time is right, she shrinks herself to the smallest size so Sahara can throw her into Kuma’s mouth. Then inside, she expands until Kuma breaks apart. Sahara then uses Kuma’s fang to slice down Coco. Elsewhere, Yachiho uses her time reversing power to save Himari. Although Naon shows herself to attack, the sisters could do little to harm her as she goes back hiding. Himari has a plan on how to face this. She turns her hair into guns! Think of Medusa but replace the snakes with guns! She fires everywhere blindly, knocking Naon off her hiding spot. Yachiho then uses her time reversing method to before Himari uses this ability. Now she is able to pinpoint Naon as they take her and Akura down. Aoba didn’t expect a well timed combo by Tenka and Kyouka to take her down. She’s not out yet, though. The fight resumes but when Tenka seems to have the best chance to take Aoba down, she freezes. This allows Aoba to deal her a fatal blow. Why couldn’t Tenka go through with her attack? The thought of seeing Yuuki’s sad face when her sister is hurt pains her. How considerate! Aoba admires Tenka for that but still will not accept this sister thingy. Aoba gives them a chance to escape and she’ll overlook all this. But with her comrades returning with defeats, Kyouka now asks Aoba to surrender. Unfortunately no decision can be made as Shikoku and Jouryuu jump right in. They claim they are the real leaders of Shuuki and are known as Eight Thunder Gods. They take Coco and Naon hostage and remind everyone they are better than these inferior beings. The rest try to mount a fight but it seems Kidoumaru has been bitten by Shikoku’s snakes and now he is following his instincts to go berserk. Thankfully, before Aoba is dead meat, Yuuki returns. Nobody messes with her sister and gets away with it!

Episode 12
Jouryuu takes away Coco and Naon while Shikoku wants to watch and sees what happens. Yuuki and Kyouka’s fight with Kidoumaru rages on. Then it’s time for this Shuuki to fall. Kyouka delivers the victorious blow to avenge her hometown. This is for all the nice people who died and the suffering she underwent, the training and all for this moment. Victory! Shikoku escapes and notes Yuuki as promising. Oh my, another girl who might want Yuuki for herself? The rest discuss about Aoba’s next move. She intends to continue hiding along with the others in other villagers. Yuuki is confused. Can’t she stay with DDF because they’ll protect her. Even if Kyouka promises to protect her, she might trust them but not the organization. Hence hiding elsewhere in Mato would be better than being a sitting duck at DDF. Plus, Tenka notes how their Supreme Commander, Yamashiro is a much more vicious person. They note as head of command, she must know about the experiments and being the ruthless person, she won’t hesitate to cut down anyone. With Aoba hiding, the rest can do their investigation on Onmyou Bureau. 7th squadron returns to base. Yuuki gonna get his greatest reward with sexy Kyouka in sexy lingerie sleeping next to him! Are we going to push the limits of fanservice today?! After kissing him, then she suggests sleeping to rest. Well, Yuuki is too wide awake to even sleep! We know why! In that case, she starts doing wrestling submission moves on him. Uhm, I think he kinda likes it… Her logic is that since Aoba often does this as Yuuki’s punishment, she thought of doing the same to teach him who his master is. It’s also punishment for ignoring her orders and getting captured. With that, Yuuki finally sleeps. Sweet dreams. Meanwhile, Coco and Naon are being fed to this hideous creepy walking egg monster. This is to give birth to a new comrade. So, are they dead for good? 6th and 7th squadron then gather to celebrate and toast Yuuki as MVP. Yuuki remembers Kyouka’s promise to Aoba that she’ll become Supreme Commander and change DDF’s policies. Aoba and Yuuki part ways as the cave started collapsing. She assured she will always be watching him and he too promised to find a way to cure her. That will be his additional mission aside being a hero. Yuuki is then visited by sneaky Tenka. One more for the road? Only, Kyouka catches them in the act. Shucks, nothing started. Gotta go back and do paperwork. Looks like more punishment from Kyouka. Get ready. Yuuki returns to training with the rest before heading out to fight more Shuuki. Business as usual.

Toy(ed) Soldier: I’m A Slave 4 U
As such developments are left behind in the case we need another season, right? But as we veterans should know, what are the chances this kind of genre will get another season? Yeah, it’s not going to- OH F*CK WAIT A MINUTE! YOU MEAN THERE REALLY IS GOING TO BE A SEASON???!!!! It’s true! I did not misread it nor was it all fake news! OMFG this really getting a sequel! Oh yeah! After all the delicious cock teasing seductions, we are now addicted to see all the hot babes give their bodies to Yuuki so we have our weekly jerking off material! Oh yeah! We’re a slave to fanservice! Bring it on! We are ready anytime!

I did not expect much from the storyline and as very much expected, it turned out so. I mean, how far can a series like this go? It is like the whole idea revolves around the guy being a (pseudo sex) slave and so they needed just the flimsiest of a reason to have young teenage girls in uniforms fighting mindless monsters and some intelligent ones too in another dimension. Do you not think that is what a big part, if not the entire season is about? Forget about unravelling how or why the Mato incident came about or why such Shuuki creatures exist. Because the entire concept is about seeing Yuuki and the girls having some sort of sexually charged affair all in the name to power up and fight monsters. Yeah. Only in anime where one can use the power of sex to increase your skills and senses. I know in this case, Yuuki gets his via reward but it’s not different either.

So I am left to start deluding about the more interesting conspiracy theory that DDF and Onmyou Bureau are in cohorts together in creating this whole Mato incident. More than often, it is such organizations and the ones on top that have shady dealings and I wouldn’t be surprised if such cliché plot twist arises in the future. I would be if it doesn’t. After all, Onmyou Bureau does experiments on innocent people under the guise of helping them being freed of whatever Shuuki they have become. When they fail (often they do), they are set loose and into the hunting grounds known as Mato whereby DDF will now hunt them down as sport under the guise of keeping humanity safe! Oh yeah! Don’t you not think this is a lot possible?! I wouldn’t be surprised either to see our heroines from both sides of the divide teaming up to fight against their higher ups and bureaucracy. After all, you can’t have hot chicks from opposing sides kill each other, right? Because plot twist like this demands a third force and common enemy for them to unite and fight against. Oh wow. I should become the scriptwriter for this show! Where’s my contract now?!

The characters are to be expected, in the sense that you don’t expect much from them. Remember, this is that sort of anime. As usual, Yuuki is a character who harbours some sort hidden power/talent because otherwise he won’t be the main character of the series. As pointed out, this becomes excuse for some cheap fanservice thrills under the guise of the girls training to become stronger. They tried trolling us that at the very beginning of each episode, Yuuki narrates to us that this is a story of how he became a hero! Well, that’s all just perception. From the way I see it, he is going to be DDF’s plaything AKA sex slave because I am sure if the girls are going to get more powerful in the future, they are going to do even brazen and lewd acts that perhaps would put porn stars to shame! As long Yuuki has this usefulness, they won’t throw him out. Oh right, almost forgot, he does very good household chores. Gender equality, people!

This means I have not much hopes on the DDF girls either. They’re pretty basic with one or two standout traits but that is about it. Each episode focuses on one of the girls with Yuuki but nothing else develops further except for the fact that they will start to fall for him from the heart rather than seeing him as a tool. Perhaps they’ll use this excuse to continue using him but whatever. After all, I am very sure that Yuuki is good in bed, the way we see him please the girls! Otherwise, do you not think they would let him violate their modesty? Uh huh. Maybe the girls have high sexual drives and they’re using this reward system as a cover up to hide their nympho! Like Kyouka who is a tsundere because each time we see her embarrassed face and calling Yuuki a pervert each time she metes out her reward to him. Maybe she’s enjoying it deep down inside. And now the competition is getting more intense with more girls fighting for Yuuki’s love. Or power. Whichever. Yuuki being the cure for Himari as a man hater and Shushu just need to be a little braver if she wants to advance her love. Yeah, she thinks she is ranked quite high at the top of the pecking order with Tenka only ahead of her. Well, it’s nice to dream.

With Tenka being the most brazen of the lot, she’s going to shake up the pecking order because she is not shy in admitting in what she wants. Love indeed can change a woman. Or is that all just horniness or lust? So you people want Tenka as your slave?! Of course not every girl here shows their affection for Yuuki like Nei who is like the strategist and backup of the group. She often stays behind during missions. Can’t have Yuuki do explicit sexual stuffs on her because that might convert some into depraved lolicons! Then there is the other tsundere known as Yachiho. I saw it coming her hate was just a twisted disguise for her sick perverse love for her sister. I can see the day Himari finds out and I will wonder how long can Yachiho rewind time just to erase this embarrassing moment! Finally, Sahara. Sleepy girl can just sleep freaking anywhere!

Aoba and her little band of merry Shuuki girls are seeming the antagonists for the most part of the season. When you think about it, are they really going to pit the siblings who love each other so much, to reunite and then fight each other? Obviously not. Not surprising at all, the true big bad bosses of Shuuki are somebody else. Because Shikoku’s side do not appear much, we do not form a bond or know nothing much about them. Hence we are not inclined to support them, a great basis for them to become the next antagonist. Therefore all I can see this misunderstanding between Kyouka and Aoba’s side is just so that they could understand each other. The common glue that ties them together? Yup, you’ve guessed it. It’s Yuuki! So now they have a reason to go all out fighting and protect this sex slave important man of theirs. It’s a good thing she won’t be staying at the DDF for the time being. Because if so, I can foresee Aoba becoming the overprotective mother as she tries to defend Yuuki’s chastity from the horny girls! Oh boy, this fight is going to be messier than any Shuuki battle ever! One I might enjoy and cringe at the same time… Yuuki is up for grabs so may the best girl win! His heart or his dick, take your pick!

Action wise, all is just passable and nothing exciting. Yuuki transforming into different versions of Shuuki with different sets of abilities for variety just feels boring. Even with mostly the DDF girls using their special abilities to whack the Shuuki horde feels obligatory and nothing exciting. All within expectations, sad to say.

The art and animation feels just pretty average. It feels like it just meets the minimum standards of what is needed to be watchable. It is not that bad but I thought it could have been better. I suppose that they think because they showed some bare tits, this will cloud the horny viewers’ mind as they won’t notice the average quality of the animation. Oh yeah. It was surprising to note that this series shows the bare breasts of the female characters. I was not expecting this and only thought that they would do this for the DVDs or Blu-Rays. So as to milk you horny otaku virgins for those desperate enough to want to see their favourite characters’ tits. Perhaps we are now living in this era where everything is slowly opening up. When you have more people and characters coming out as gay or lesbian, soon there will be no shame at all when women start to go topless like men. Yeah, the gender equality that we all can get behind!

I mean let’s admit it, viewers watching this I am very sure we all know what naked women boobs look like, right? Don’t kid yourselves anymore. Therefore it is not worth censoring men’s favourite twin peaks because conservative values have died a long time ago. Hence every episode guarantees the cliché of Yuuki involving in some sort of perverted reward and hence an excuse for the girls to bare their tits. Or maybe some hotspring bathing scene will also do. Yeah, watching tits never seem to grow old. And it never will. Even if there are no bare tits, do we still enjoy Yuuki getting into fanservice-like situations from the girls? DDF or Shuuki alike? No wonder he won’t quit being a slave! It’s just so f*cking rewarding! Oh, what was I talking about? Right. Animation quality. Wow. Imagine talking about boobs has already proven to distract me from the average animation quality. Yeah damn, it worked…

Character designs, you bet I am going to claim that I am seeing a myriad of copycat characters from other anime. Like Yuuki, if Shingeki No Kyojin’s Levi had a perverted version, this would be it. Seriously. Kyouka somehow reminds me of Tsukasa from Tonikaku Kawaii, is it because they share the same seiyuu?! Then we have Shushu looking like Sharo from Gochuumon Wa Usagi Desu Ka, Nei like Yui from Angel Beats, Himari like Yohane from Genjitsu No Yohane: Sunshine In The Mirror, Tenka like Mito from Shokugeki No Souma, Sahara like Mimosa from Black Clover and Yachiho is like a crazy b*tch version of Hatsune Miku. Yeah. That.

Also not forgetting the Shuuki who look like they’re discount Hollow from Bleach or perhaps this is the simplest design that they can come up with for monsters whose existence is to be slain by DDF. Yeah, such a pity and boring design. Worse, they are animated via CGI. However with the way the action plays out, their movements are not as jarring so I suppose they are within ‘acceptable’ range. Still, could have been better. But then again, with such limited budget and considering the kind of genre this anime is, might as well concentrate on the tits that we are more likely to focus on than the bland monsters. Yeah. More CGI atrocity as the next episode preview we have a fully CGI Nei (or any other characters who care to hijack this section) explaining to viewers the series’ terms, settings or whatever lore. Can she be animated even more hideous? Just because Nei is a cutie pie loli, are we going to give this atrocious CGI animation of her a free pass? Yeah, looks like we are. This anime is done by Seven Arcs who did Tonikaku Kawaii, Sekirei, Dog Days and Inukami.

Voice acting nothing really spectacular either and I don’t recognize the rest of the bunch except Akari Kitou as Kyouka (barely). Not even Rina Hidaka as Naon because she wasn’t pulling her specialist shrieky loli voice. Sad. The other casts are Yuuya Hirose as Yuuki (Takuma In Val x Love), Mari Hino as Shushu (Inukai in Flying Witch), Yume Miyamoto as Himari (Rikka in SSSS.Gridman), Hina Tachibana as Nei (Diamond in Uma Musume: Pretty Derby), Maaya Uchida as Tenka (Lily in DanMachi), Nene Hieda as Yachiho (Izumi in Jaku-Chara Tomozaki-kun), Reina Ueda as Sahara (Lemon in Mashle), Tomori Kusunoki as Aoba (Annette in Spy Kyoushitsu), Sayaka Senbongi as Coco (Shuna in Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken), Yuuri Yoshida as Ginna (Mashiro in Mikakunin De Shinkoukei), Mako Morino as Shikoku (Yuki Himekawa The Idolmaster Cinderella Girls), Hitomi Nabatame ias Jouryuu (Margery Daw in Shakugan No Shana) and Kujira as Rairen (Hitogami in Mushoku Tensei).

The opening theme, Yume No Ito by Akari Kitou tries to sound like an edgy rock piece but it comes off sounding generic. Cha∞in by Maaya Uchida also sounds the same although it is more like pop music but with some hip hop element. I am not sure if the singer is trying to sound sultry (I don’t think so) since she is singing in a soft (and bland) way and it feels like the music is overwhelming her voice and there’s some sort of mismatch there.

Overall, this series is just mediocre in every sense. The only reason one would watch this is because of the fanservice, which isn’t all that satisfying either. But still better than nothing nevertheless. Uh huh. Really sounded like I’ve watched so many kinds of this animes in the genre. True, I do over the years and decades! Yeah, I’ve seen raunchier ones that aren’t labelled as hentai than this. A certain healer anime comes to mind? Sorry, the free tits surprise didn’t last very long either. It’s like they needed some sort of ecchi fanservice this season and unfortunately this series got picked for it. The story, characters and animation quality are just average at best but it’s not like we viewers really care for all that, right? Because if we do, we won’t be even watching this show in the first place! And so we’re left with pseudo sex-like acts in which the series does what it was supposed to. That is all. Sorry people. Having a guy being a subservient sex slave to many hot chicks doesn’t empower anybody at all. It just makes us all degenerate. And we love it.

Uma Musume: Pretty Derby S3

So many horse girls, so little time. Oops. I think I said that the last time but yes, this is the reason why we had another season of horse girls, Uma Musume: Pretty Derby S3. It’s like they’re playing musical chairs with the horse girls of Spica and whose turn it is to get the limelight? Ah yes, newcomers Kitasan Black and Satono Diamond. Sorry Gold Ship, Vodka and Scarlet, I guess it’s not your turn yet as these newcomers have jumped the queue to be in focus. What will this season bring for our newbies? I’m guessing it is going to be more or less the same. Lots of horse girl drama, training and of course running. What else is there?

Episode 1
Duramente wins at Satsukishou. So why is Kitasan in shock? We see Kitasan training hard and it’s like part of her routine to help everyone in trouble that she comes across. I hope it is not her causing the bad luck. But yeah, everybody loves her. At Tracen, she is part of Spica and being a Teio super fan, she never tires watching videos of her amazing wins. She continues to train hard as Japanese Derby is up next. She talks to Diamond for some inspiration, especially what is on her mind when she is running. Winning the race. Duh? And what’s this about her family’s curse will not be broken unless she has a firm resolve? Kitasan feels scared by all the overwhelming stuffs but then when she realizes she could treat this like a festival, she gets her mojo back. Japanese Derby is here as our horse girls begin their run. Kitasan making a good start at the front and duking it out with Ribbon Pia. Until the last stretch, Duramente powers up and leaves everyone in her wake. Kitasan so shocked that she loses speed? Duramente crosses the finish line and everyone goes wild as she has claimed her second successive crown. Oh Kitasan, time to face up to reality. You lost. Again.

Episode 2
Well, we see this coming. Kitasan depressed. There’s nothing much the rest can do as Kitasan narrates about her idol, Teio. Oh the dreams of becoming like her. While she continues her training, it is obvious her motivation isn’t back yet. And then more bad news: Duramente is hit with an injury that puts her out from the next important race. Yeah, it’s devastating. Kitasan can’t get her revenge. The worst. So what can a horse girl like her do? Cry her heart out. Until Nature talks to her as Kitasan learns she too is a Teio fan. She explains how Teio worked really hard to get back to where she is today. But as she compares herself to other big names, she realizes her chances to win were slim. But all that didn’t matter. Whether she was running with the big guns or not, she wanted to run and win so as to have others look at her. In a way, she has been staying true to herself. Now that Kitasan has got her mojo back, she returns to her teammates to assure them that she will be fine and will continue her training. Now she has a different mind set as she doesn’t care if she is the star or not. As long as she fights and struggles, she’ll make it and stay true to herself. Now we see Kitasan entering the Kikkashou. After flagging off, she makes a good start. But in the final stretch, she sets her sights on the goal, boosting her power and speed to finally take the win. Oh yeah. Kitasan’s first win. Now she’s looking like a star.

Episode 3
Diamond wins her first race so her friends celebrate her maiden victory. They ask her next step and it seems she will be targeting to win the Triple Crown series. As for Kitasan, her next goal is to run at Arima Kinen. But Trainer wonders if she is okay with this because there are many seasoned runners here. So? I don’t see the problem? Gold Ship continues her strange training. Like, bringing the entire starting gate here?! Then there is this weird act by Sounds Of Earth as she tries to make friends with Kitasan via her music. She definitely crept her out. Had not Nature come by, I’m not sure what would have happened. She apologizes on Earth’s behalf since she is a newbie at Canopus. Soon Gold Ship holds a special interview. She will be running her last race at Arima Kinen! Gasp! What?! This is because she is moving on from the Twinkle Series to Dream Trophy League. Kitasan feels so sad about it and goes to talk to her. Gold Ship recounts the days where she often come from behind to take the win. She has 6 wins under her belt. However such form is gone as she can’t focus. That’s why she is moving on. You thought Kitasan is being emotional and crying on her behalf. Actually it is because she is sad that she will win Arima Kinen and ruin her last race! Oh my! And so we see Arima Kinen in action. Kitasan starting off strongly as she leads the pack while as expected, Gold Ship dead last. But as the horse girls turn the last corner, Gold Ship does her specialty as she speeds up to the front. However it seems she cannot keep up and loses steam. The same for Kitasan as she is surpassed by All Haiyu who takes the win followed by Earth. Kitasan in third and Gold Ship dropped to eighth. Gold Ship then addresses the crowd. This isn’t over yet as she calls out to her opponents to prepare for her. The dream is not over yet. The crowd cheers for Gold Ship. Clearly, she is a winner today in another department.

Episode 4
What’s the problem now, Kitasan? As always, Nature will hear her out. It seems Kitasan moved up to some senior class race and once more she lost by a whisker. So she doesn’t have what it takes like the rest. Isn’t it too harsh comparing herself to others? Because Kitasan takes pride in her durability, she pleads to Trainer for some hard training. He shoots her down seeing she might get injured and this will put her out of racing. Teio and Suzuka also agree at first but seeing their aim to run is to win, Trainer will think about it. Kitasan packs up for her training but realizes she will miss Diamond’s race at Satsukishou. Diamond assures that she will win for her sake. Next day when Kitasan wakes up, she finds herself at some training grounds. Trainer has made some arrangements and Bourbon will be her trainer and Rice in charge of her meals. The hard training begins and it makes you wonder if she is training for American Ninja or something. As the training continues, Trainer notices her times have not improved. Could it be exhaustion zapping into her motivation? Bourbon believes she can because overcoming this is the point of this training. When Kitasan realizes Diamond’s race is tomorrow, she runs all the way back just to witness her race! Just in time because the race is already started and the horse girls running at the final turn. When it looked like Diamond is about to spring ahead, somebody bumps into her and she falls back. Eventually somebody else wins and everybody laments this is yet another curse of the Satono family. During the interview and asked about it, Diamond accepts the results and blames her own ability that wasn’t enough to make her win. She vows to bounce back and break the jinx. Just you wait and see at Japanese Derby. This gives Kitasan the much needed motivation as she runs all the way back to resume her training. With her improved time, looks like she can look forward to Spring Tennoushou.

Episode 5
In a tightly contested race that requires a photo finish, once again the jinx strikes as Satono loses by a whisker. She notices her horseshoe broke. Oh well, don’t go blaming stuffs. She just wasn’t good enough and vows to break the curse. Soon an interview with Duramente. She will be racing for the first time since her injury at Takarazuka Kinen. Duramente is not much with words and just tells straight she’ll win. Since Kitasan will be racing in it too, Duramente doesn’t care who her opponents are. She’ll dominate everyone so can race at bigger races in Europe. At school, Kitasan bumps into Duramente and asks if she is scared like having the need to live up to expectations. Because her lineage has her take up extreme challenges, in the end it is proof she is the strongest. Even if she loses, she won’t hesitate. She is after all the strongest of her generation. Kitasan is amazed and motivated but to her dismay, Duramente doesn’t remember her! Looks like Kitasan will have to train more to beat her so that she will be noticed. And so here comes Takarazuka Kinen. Race starts off with Kitasan taking the early lead and maintaining it. At the last stretch, Duramente does her specialty as she speeds up. However it seems she is struggling and cannot catch up. Old injury? Is it because Kitasan is maintaining her groove? In the end when Duramente pushes herself and closes up, the one who surpasses and crosses the finish line is River Light! Uhm, WHO?! Kitasan notices Duramente in pain but the latter stands back up. Kitasan admits her defeat but Duramente notes Kitasan as strong since she was forced to run like that. They renew their rivalry as Duramente will become stronger to dominate her. Same for Kitasan.

Episode 6
Gotta have confidence to win the next race. Yes, that is what Diamond says. But for everyone else, they still believe the jinx is hard to shake off. After all, the Satono family has never won a G1 race ever. While Diamond remains strong, it seems there are other forces of the jinx trying to get her down. Whether it is astrology, fortune reading and even feng shui telling her she will have bad luck, Diamond doesn’t lose spirit and will take it all head on. It’s the only way to break the jinx, right? Oh boy. Not sure if all those bad luck are supposed to be funny or cringe. So we see a flashback how her family has contributed greatly to this racing industry but has yet to produce one who would at least win a race in the G1 series. Diamond looked up to her older siblings as she too harbour hope to get that victory. But as time passes and many members fail to get that elusive win, soon the burden all fell on her. That is why she must win it to bring hope to them all even if some are sceptical about it. With Kitasan worried about Diamond, she talks to Spica about things to ward off bad luck. However it is McQueen who talks to Diamond. Basically, it is a jinx because she believes it to be so. Because when compared to other horse girls racing in similar pattern, they didn’t view it as so. Jinxes like horse shoes breaking off in races are common. To McQueen, Diamond is strong because she has never run from that pain and burden. With all the effort she has put in and all the races she has run and never give up, this makes Diamond the strongest. These are not the things that can be simply called a jinx. All she needs now is rest. Diamond returns and Kitasan has a whole stack of items to ward off back luck. Don’t need any of that junk. On race day, the usual flag off as Diamond makes a good start and running in the leading pack. In the final stretch, she powers up to sprint ahead. Will the curse rear its ugly head? Well, she crosses the finish line first! OMG! The jinx can finally be put to rest! Everybody now crying. Her family members, herself and eventually the crowd. Then she gets disqualified… JUST KIDDING! She actually wins it. Congratulations, Diamond!

Episode 7
Yet another easy win for Kitasan. This boosts her hopes to win the next race at Arima Kinen. However it is not so happy ending for Cheval Grand despite coming in third. Although her friends try to stay positive about her achievements, Cheval continues to feel down since she is the only one who has nothing to show for. She must prove herself at Arima Kinen. We see Kitasan and Diamond training hard for the next race. Both reminisce despite they have been together and sharing many things, looks like the only thing they are unable to share is a grand prix victory. Obviously. Every horse girl for herself now. Diamond always notes that whenever she starts things, Kitasan will always catch up and surpass her. She’ll be left training behind. But this time it will be different. As Arima Kinen is here, before the race starts, Kitasan tries to talk to Diamond to have a good race. But Diamond is like putting on this serious face and hell bent she’ll win. She’s being focused. Not being a b*tch! The race starts and the usual drama. At the last stretch, Kitasan and Diamond are neck to neck. Both trying to outdo the other but in the end, it is Diamond who takes the win. While both girls congratulate each other for a great race, however it is not so for Cheval. Once more she is left disappointed running a pathetic race, ending up in 6th.

Episode 8
Oh no. Kitasan depressed again? Oh yeah. Nature doesn’t think she has what it takes to advise her but I guess Kitasan is desperate for some words. So, losing to Diamond at Arima Kinen got to her? Yes, she lost. Yes, Diamond was sparkling with brilliance. So what’s the big deal? Anyway, Nature believes in Kitasan. She is strong, right? Then as Kitasan hangs out with Diamond, it seems the latter intends to run in some French grand prix and hopes Kitasan could come with her. Many are sceptical about it but you won’t know if you don’t try. Meanwhile Verxina, Cheval’s sister tries to cheer her up but the latter continues to be depressed and doesn’t want support. Kitasan is thinking about running internationally because she has never thought of this before. And thus a timely advice from Teio as she tells her all the struggles and dreams that she has gone through. She believes Kitasan will be okay. Well, if that doesn’t convince her, maybe the people at the market throwing her lots of freebies will. Yeah, they love her and the way she runs her races so you bet they are looking forward to see her more in action. And just like that, no use continue moping as Kitasan continues to train in her own way. As long as she doesn’t give up, she can achieve her dream.

Episode 9
Kitasan and Diamond are making headlines with their wins in several races. It’s all shaping up to the big finale at Spring Tennoushou. Before you start saying they have become rivals and no longer friends, WRONG! They show us how strong their friendship is as they take a train ride to the beach. Man, the snippets show the various places they go during the journey and the various trains they ride, feels like a long trip! In the end, the usual stuffs because both draw motivation from each other and vow to get stronger to achieve their dreams. They won’t lose to the other. Well, there can only be 1. Let’s find out. Spring Tennoushou is here and as it starts, Tudor Garden takes a huge lead. We all know it is pointless because it is the last stretch that is where all the action and drama occur, right? Besides, who the f*ck this side character?! And as expected, Kitasan zooms past her to take the lead. But as Diamond starts to go on the offensive, it seems she realizes Kitasan is stronger as she is maintaining the distance between them. Is that a sign of defeat? I mean, flashes of their childhood times together. And then Kitasan crosses the line first and defends this title of hers. Not only that, she even broke the 10 year old record! Cheval comes in second followed by Diamond. As expected too, Kitasan and Diamond renew their rivalry. They’ll get stronger and run races to make everyone happy. As long as they’re together, they can go anywhere and do anything.

Episode 10
Kitasan is roped in as the committee and staff to help out at the cultural festival at Tracen. So yes, we’re seeing snippets of our horse girls having a fun day. At the end of the day, Kitasan sees Trainer going through the photo album containing her. Gee, I hope this doesn’t make him look like a stalker. It contains all of Kitasan’s races and photo finish wins. Brings back lots of memories. Because of her goal to make more people happy, she intends to win the next race, Takarazuka Kinen and then will go overseas to France to race in Prix De L’arc De Triomphe. Trainer understands and will being the registration process. While Kitasan learns all she can about the France course, we are also reminded and see a not so rosy picture because a horse girl at Tracen has decided to quit because she has done all the running she can and not getting the desired results. But we don’t bother with unimportant losers, right?! So back to more Kitasan training! Trainer talks to his fellow trainers about Kitasan’s move. They also share their worries because she will be relying on a local trainer in a foreign land. Yeah well, duh! But the more worrying part is how many horse girls who decide to run overseas will often experience a decline in abilities. Can’t adapt? Village champion only so to speak? But we’re going to put our trust in them because why not? Takarazuka Kinen is here and Kitasan is the overwhelming fan favourite to win. Diamond will not be racing since she wants to rest so her sister, Satono Crown will be running in her stead. Is it me or is this race not important because there’s like way less competitors here. As it starts, Cheval makes a bold start by taking the lead. But when it is time for Kitasan to do her specialty and surge ahead, something feels wrong. She can’t! As much as she pushes, she just can’t find that power! What’s happening?! Eventually it is Crown who surges ahead to take the win. Cheval and Kitasan drop to the back. Yeah, everyone in shock. But not as the shocking look on Kitasan’s face. Like as though she has witnessed a murder! Yeah, maybe she just killed her own future! HAHAHA! Oops, sorry!

Episode 11
Kitasan sees off Diamond at the airport. France, here she comes. You bet this affects Kitasan in many ways. Diamond isn’t around but she still feels her presence. She can’t seem to concentrate well although she still manages to get by. There is no dip in her form but she can’t help shake off this feeling inside of her. Well then, Gold Ship is here to point out that she has past her peak performance since she went through that too. Kitasan talks to Trainer about it and his worries now come true. The chances of horse girls coming back and being reborn a better racer are very slim but hey, there’s still that chance so you bet Kitasan isn’t going to give up yet. As she contemplates about her next move, she sees the market traders already made a banner for her when she goes to France! Counting their chickens? Though, they would love to watch her run here but they want to support her where she goes seeing she has become integral in their lives. With that, Kitasan tells Trainer she won’t go to France and will use whatever time she has to make those who are here happy. So yeah, she tells Diamond she’s not coming and news break about her cancellation. Kitasan runs in the Fall Tennoushou along with Crown. It’s a rainy day so you bet it’s going to get all muddy and messy. The slippery track means Kitasan starts off on a bad foot and makes a bad start. However towards the end, it is a neck to neck race with Crown. Crown in disbelief Kitasan having some sort of reserve power that powers her through. Yes, Kitasan wins! But at what cost? Because clearly she is gasping for air like as though she is fighting for her life! Is this the end?! Wow, everyone looking so worried.

Episode 12
A special press called by Kitasan because she is going to retire from Twinkle Series! Horror! She admits she has past her peak and hence her last races will be Japan Cup and Arima Kinen. She hopes everyone will watch her till the end. Her announcement shocks many as some think she wants to cement her legacy as the strongest. Retire at the top. Duramente has her regrets. She was too late to recover since she wanted to run again with Kitasan but she couldn’t make it. Even some of the market traders are depressed but are told to shape up because they got to see off Kitasan with a smile. Even Cheval too. She has a great mix of feelings from jealousy, resentment to admiration. This makes her think how different Kitasan is compared to her (duh!) but no matter how hard she tried, unlike Kitasan, she just couldn’t overcome them. Good thing, she won’t give up because if Kitasan can work hard, so can she. Japan Cup is here and Kitasan is the overwhelming favourite to win. As it starts, Kitasan makes her usual great start and takes the lead. Now we hear Cheval’s monologue as she tries to play catch up. She hates Kitasan for being a total opposite to her. Annoying and socially popular but at the same time so brilliant. That is why she always hated her. Wow. Running on hate? Nope. Because of all that, she loves her! Wow. Reverse psychology might do the trick because Cheval sprints past Kitasan to take the win! Finally! Cheval takes her maiden win! Kitasan catches her breath to congratulate Cheval who proclaims she will become a better legend than her. Kitasan hopes she would. Back to solemn mood because the next race is her last, right? After the concert, Diamond joins Kitasan as they reminisce the place where it started it all. Brings back so many memories. Now she understands how it feels to run like that. Reality check. Next race is really the last one.

Episode 13
It’s all shaping up to the last race for Kitasan. Yes, the usual montage of Kitasan doing more training, the crowd having good memories and support of her. You know the drill. Because Arima Kinen is now here. The final race. Make sure you support her till the end and make this her greatest send off. So as it begins, Kitasan making her usual strong start. Then as she turns the final bend, she sees many cheering on for her. I have to ask, HOW THE F*CK SHE KNOWS THEY’RE SAYING HER NAME?! CAN SHE READ LIPS?! Are those spectators cheering for other horse girls?! Ah, who am I kidding? Kitasan’s the star so obviously everyone’s cheering for her. This gives her the power to burst forward as she crosses the finish line with a considerable gap from the rest. Yeah, that orgasmic face she puts on when she wins it! Like it’s all over. Cheval in 3rd while Crown down back in 17th. But of course, everybody chanting for Kitasan. She has become better than Teio now. Then we get to see a full concert by Kitasan. Then as Tracen holds an open day for potential new horse girls, Kitasan joins her Spica teammates in a recruitment drive. Sure, she might have retired but she’ll still be around.

The Racing Is More Important Than The Finish Line
Oh well, no final race day upset. A happy and good ending for Kitasan as she cements her legacy as one of the best horse girls in the Twinkle Series. Imagine if the results had gone otherwise, what a way to rain on Kitasan’s farewell race. Will that winner be booed? Uh huh. It seems like it was all a show so that Kitasan can be propped as the winner. Of course it is not and everyone ran their heart out but I just felt that the season took on the safer route to give Kitasan the present she needed for her retirement. Nothing was gonna break her stride. Well, now she can bum around like the other horse girls in Spica who aren’t actively running.

I have to admit that this season doesn’t differ much in the formula and you see the usual rise of our horse girl in focus, the rivalry drama and of course the obligatory races. Hence it was another boring season for me. Yeah, I can’t believe I am still sticking around to watch this. Not that I find the horse girls here to be super cute to my taste whatsoever. This time they are just doing it with a different horse girl but it is basically the same cycle. So I bet that in the event of another season, you can just cut out a horse girl and replace it with another and it’ll be more or less the same thing.

I may be late to the game to notice this but now I realized that there are so many other different race series, the reason why there are so many horse girls at Tracen and you don’t see many of them racing in the limited places of a race. Well, it only makes sense this way, right? Because we’ve been recycling over the same type of races under the Twinkle Series, it always gave me the impression that there has always been this 1 series of races. It is always the same Satsukishou. It is always that same Tennoushou. It is always that same Takarazuka Kinen. It is always that same Arima Kinen. You get the point. I thought they were the only races for them in Japan. So yeah, there could be other series by different sponsors and perhaps the Twinkle Series are for beginners? That’s why you don’t see the other veterans running in it, right? I could be totally wrong but this is what I am thinking about at this point.

However I am also left to ponder how long a horse girl would remain in competitive state. What I mean is that we see various members of Spica not even running at all and just bumming around, supporting our main characters of the season when race day comes. Of course like I have pointed out in my previous paragraph, they could be running other series in which we don’t see. But from this point of view, it’s like they’re bumming around to give moral support to Kitasan and Diamond, like they have nothing else better to do. I am further left confused because of the same races being run again, I wonder if that same race can be held multiple times a year or just a single time. Because we see Kitasan running a race of the same name later on in the season when she has already run earlier on. So has another year passed? This begs the question of how long do horse girls live anyway? Well, a typical race horse’s lifespan is about 25 to 35 years and that’s long enough if you want to assume it for our horse girls here. However they are not truly 100% horses and have human features (and DNA?) so I am assuming they live longer than that. Yeah, it would be a bummer if they only have like 10 years to live and the came, race and retire. In view of this, no wonder the horse girls here seem like they are at Tracen forever and many with no results to show for.

Speaking of the races, obviously it is the bread and butter of the series but I can’t help not feel invigorated by it all despite all the drama, effects and the likes (horse girls screaming for more power!!! So scream along! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!) put into it to make it look like one intense race. Sorry, after 2 seasons and a few several spinoffs, it just feels like another boring race and the only thing ‘exciting’ for me is to guess which horse girl would win. Despite not many to pick from (you don’t think a nameless competitor is going to usurp the race, right? Oh right. There was that one time… Or twice…) but the stats show I was mostly wrong. It’s a good thing I never got addicted to real life horse racing as my prediction sucks. So what should I suggest to make the races more interesting next time? Oh, maybe each horse girl should equip themselves with some strange gadget like those items in Mario Kart! Heh. Then it will be no longer about the effort and the running and will be a whole lot of different game. Don’t want to have that an insult the hard work of our horse girls, do we? So stay boring and keep running like the tradition ways.

In this world, looks like horse girls racing is the most famous and popular sport, if not the only sport in the world! True, we don’t see other sports because whey the f*ck do you want to watch other sports when you can gawk at cute horse girls in their cosplay outfits running like hell! I wonder if there are dog girls racing… Anyway, what I want to say is that whenever the big race day is here, the people who cannot make it to the stadium to watch the important race will watch it on their Smartphones or other devices. Yes, they will stop whatever they are doing and focus on this! Even the astronaut in space! Or the climber who is already climbing at a high altitude! Don’t lose focus now. OMFG! We love horse girls racing! Yeah, for a few second of exhilaration, I guess it is better to catch everything live than watch a recorded video. Where’s the fun in that? So drop all that you are doing and support these horse girls who have trained hard to bring you the best (running) entertainment ever!

What else can I say for our main character, Kitasan. Now it is her turn at the spotlight so all the usual drama and rivalry formula go with it. Okay, I admit that I was bored and didn’t pay close attention so I may be missing some details. Hey, not really a fan of Kitasan. Or any horse girls in particular! So yeah, this season sees her rise to stardom but also her fall. Part of the drama for this series is to have the horse girl injured and unable her to run for a while, putting her future in jeopardy. So you thought Kitasan is going to follow that same formula but looks like she is more of a realist. Yes, it hurts a lot in the heart too but she must admit that she has past her prime in order to move forward and more importantly, continue to enjoy running and bring smiles to others. Because if she refused to accept that, it would be obvious that her fall from grace would be unfathomable. She’ll always be pushing herself to the edge, making her look like a sorry sight. So it might not be the best outcome for Kitasan (and her fans) but she has done all that to bring in the smiles. Were you not entertained? So what? You want her to run like forever?!

Then there is Diamond who is Kitasan’s friend and teammate. She gets slightly lesser spotlight (heck, she only gets 1 freaking full episode to focus on her) compared to Kitasan and the only thing to play up her drama is her jinx and family curse of not winning a race. So yeah, she finally did. When you run so many races, you are bound to finally get at least one. Unless you are totally untalented. But we all know Diamond is not and thus with the curse being broken, she is now free to seek international races for greater glory. Maybe jumping the gun but hey, who knows? Maybe she’ll break that jinx after running 1000 races and being beaten down left and right. As long as she doesn’t give up. But I am not sure in the end if Diamond is back in Japan for good. Because it’s like we see her more often. Has she given up in France? Didn’t get the desired results so she came back home? Did I miss something somewhere? With Diamond’s absence, Crown takes over her rivalry place but obviously she is no Diamond it feels like the racing drama just doesn’t work. No Kitasan next year so assumingly Diamond gonna race with her sister Crown which gonna feel weird.

The other horse girls that are given slightly more focus are Duramente and Cheval. However Duramente fell out of the picture halfway due to her injury and has been recuperating since. So much about the fated rematch with Kitasan. And then halfway through, they bring up Cheval who has her own insecurities since she has this inferior complex and keeps comparing herself to others especially Kitasan. Always the underachiever and nearly horse girl, yeah, it’s like they’re trying to satisfy all fans of the main horse girls here as Cheval finally chokes up her first win. So will this change her gloomy disposition? On second thought, Cheval should stay in character because that’s how we know her.

As for the rest of the other horse girls, oh my goodness, we all know how this series has a ton of them and some not even memorable. Just fitting to be background characters. I don’t know if this is good thing or not because I also didn’t do any checking. Because I notice if there is a new horse girl in the picture, her name will pop up. Hey, better than spamming main characters’ name in every episode! But the downside is that we don’t know if she will ever pop up again in the future because she is so obscure. But who cares, right? Some have their 2 seconds of quirkiness before they become forgettable. Uh huh. What’s that horse girl name again! Yeah, like as though they are the horse version of Pokemon. Gotta collect ‘em all. Especially great if you turn them into NFTs! Thank goodness that concept is dead!

Sad to say that the other horse girls make their paltry cameo do not bring anything to the table especially just to tell us they are there. Because I can’t think of many of them and only a handful comes to mind like Twin Turbo. Even Nature feels like she has this running joke to be Kitasan’s advisor and she always panics because she knows Kitasan is better than her so how to give better advice? Other horse girls are sorely missing like Oguri Cap, Rice Shower and El Condor Pasa. But I could be wrong since they may have make their puny cameo in the background and I did not even notice them. But yeah, like I said, this series has so much characters and this is where the problem lies since there will be many who will be side-lined and worst, forgotten. So like Special Week and Suzuka might still be around Spica but sometimes I have this feeling they do not exist even if they are on screen. Yeah, felt like the furniture or something.

Art and animation are consistent like last season and I still maintain that the girls dressing their best dress look more like cosplay girls running. It’s amazing how they can run with all that garb and my guess some of them are not wind resistance and that’s why they could never win a race. Oh well, as long as they look good. Yeah, got to remember the second title of this series is called. The opening theme, Soshite Minna No is a lively cacophony. Yeah, too noisy for my liking. I mean, when you have like 7 horse girls singing this piece and them screaming “AAAAAAAA!!!” at the end, that says pretty much. Lost Shine as the ending theme by Kitasan shares the same lively cacophony vibes. Just ramp up the cuteness. Not really to my liking. They have several special ending themes like Ambitious world by the duet of Kitasan and Diamond is lively but not as bad. Then there are slow ballads like Sora No Hohoemikata by Kitasan and Yume No Kotae by Diamond. And yeah, you should hear the final episode’s Umapyoi Densetsu (which was the first season’s ending theme). HOW MANY FREAKING HORSE GIRLS ARE SINGING THIS CACOPHONY???!!! Puts AKB48 to shame!

Overall, this third season has been a boring run to me. Yes, mainly I am not a fan (or even close) of any horse girls unlike all those dedicated fans as seen here in this anime. Yeah, I should be laughing at them for being lifetime fans of a certain character because I have to look at myself to, a lifetime fan for a certain seiyuu who has ironically not have a voicing cameo of any horse girls here! YET! What discrimination is this?! You bet I will then force myself to love that horse girl simply because Mamiko Noto voiced her. Yeah, the strangest things we fans do. I believe this series remains popular in Japan so I am not ruling out another season. Uh huh. Kitasan’s going past her peak and retiring is to pave way for another character in the next season. When will this series hit past its peak? I don’t know but I know my interest in it has long been. Time to retire from this series…

Natsuki Crisis

Do you want to see girls of the old school kicking ass? Then yeah, you have got to check out Natsuki Crisis. In a time when guys think they are pretty tough because they can throw a few punches, boy they’ll be surprised when a hot chick suddenly throws them over their shoulder. I mean, who could defeat such a chick too when she can shoot off some energy blast! Hey, wait a minute! What kind of martial arts is that?!

Episode 1
Natsuki Kisumi is such a great karate fighter that the other guys in the club don’t want to fight her. Only the captain, Masaaki Yanagisawa is more than happy to do so. One day, Rina Takaoka is the new student transfer into her class. Natsuki tries to make friends with her but she remains distant. Later Naoya Hondou tries to flirt with her but she shows her martial arts chops and beat his ass down. So much about teaching her about manliness, huh? Coward. Later Rina tries to take a smoke but Natsuki interferes and they get into a petty quarrel. When school is over, Natsuki wants to walk back with her but they are surrounding by masked men. Holy f*ck, are they all clones? Anyway, they want to teach Rina a lesson for some betrayal. Rina is not afraid of being outnumbered by these goons but worries if she can protect Natsuki. Don’t worry. As she will soon see, Natsuki can kick ass like her too. When one of them accidentally damages her bike, she goes into rage. After putting him down, some flashback shows she was wrestling with her boyfriend, Keiji Muto. However he wouldn’t give up and this forced her to go overboard and broke his bone. Natsuki tries to advise her martial arts isn’t supposed to be used this way but she won’t listen. This riles her up because each time she fights, she loses something. Now she has lost everything so why does she have to keep fighting. My opinion is that you have lost everything lah! Oh, Rina looking so sad. Not good time for jokes. Meanwhile the baddies report to their boss, Kyoutarou Himuro about underestimating Rina. Tetsuo Daigou believes it is his turn.

That night, Natsuki calls Yanagisawa about Rina. Apparently he knows the back story. Rina and Keiji were from the same Jotoh Academy that is famed for their martial arts. Because of an accident, Keiji left the school and Rina gave up wrestling. He advises Natsuki not to fight Rina because of her wrestling technique that locks joints. Obviously Natsuki believes nothing can hold her down. I don’t know how, but suddenly Rina and Natsuki are like best friends. Did I miss something?! Even if Rina thinks everyone around her are airheads, I get a feeling she might not dislike the idea of being influenced and become an airhead herself. Meanwhile Daigou wrecks Rina’s bike. So when Rina see it and a mocking note from Natsuki, she goes to confront her best friend about backstabbing. Long story short, Rina will fight her if she wants to fight so much and will break every bone in her body. So as we see Rina trying to grapple and lock Natsuki, the latter somehow manages to push her away and get out of such situations. In the end, Rina gives up and believes she can’t be the culprit. Speaking of which, Daigou shows up, disappointed he couldn’t kill 2 birds with a stone. He tells the truth why Rina bested Keiji that day was because Keiji got ‘educated’ prior to their fight. Something about him defied some orders given by Himuro. It seems Keiji cannot forfeit his match and if he resisted, Rina would be punished. Rina attacks cocky Daigou who knows all her moves. Rina is on the verge of losing but despite telling Natsuki to stay out, Natsuki knocks out the guy. Well, Daigou did say fair play is so old fashioned, right?

Episode 2
When Natsuki learns Rina has been kidnapped, she rushes out to find her. Uhm, WHERE?! Lucky for her, she finds Rina being beaten up by Akira Kandori who in turn challenge Natsuki to a fight. No reason to accept? Well, do you not want to save your friend? Natsuki accepts but it seems her karate cannot best her judo. Until Yanagisawa arrives. Next thing we see, the ladies are being patched at his place. Time for a little back story. Obviously Yanagisawa knew Akira as they were from the same martial arts institute. She was the judo champion 2 years ago until she joined Jotoh and went all silent. They believe she has become enslaved by that ‘demon’. Flashback when Yanagisawa stopped Natsuki’s fight with Akira, Akira blamed him for changing. He had the potential because his fighting style trembled everyone. Because he didn’t go to Jotoh to become stronger, it’s like he gave up on winning. Worse, why did he leave her?! Yanagisawa stands by his ideals so Akira vows to open his eyes by defeating his favourite pupil. Her goal is to become the best of the best. Natsuki becomes distracted about martial arts being used to kill people that she loses to a mock fight with Hondou. Date as promised? Sure, make it a threesome because Yanagisawa also tags along to make Hondou a punching bag for Natsuki to practice. She must find and create her own technique to defeat Akira. After training, Natsuki asks why he didn’t go to Jotoh since it is better equipped and he could’ve been much stronger. At that point, he was pondering if he became the strongest, was it because he accomplished the art of killing. He lost his reason to study that. But Akira was tempted by such power. He thanks Natsuki for saving him. Thanks to her, his reason for martial arts is to defeat your opponents but not kill them.

They spot Daigou and his goon heading towards Rina’s place. So before they can get even with her, they ambush the numbskulls. WTF can Rina sleep through all that racket? Daigou escapes as Natsuki goes after her. She corners him but he takes out a sword. Just when she is about to get slashed, Yanagisawa protects her. He gets a little slashed and this worry has her counterattack with a newly created special move. OMG she’s shooting some sort of Hadouken now?! Enough to send Daigou flying. Meanwhile Akira has beaten all her sparring opponents and believes she is invincible. Toshiyuki Satake who is a karate champion disagrees. Well, he’ll be eating his words because damn, his metal leg guard got disintegrated! Next day, Akira marches into school to have her fight with Natsuki. WTF, is this some communist army?! Yeah, those goons create a human ring so no outsiders will interfere. Rina is here to stop her but she became Akira’s warm up. By the time Natsuki arrives, Rina is down for the count. It’s time for the big battle. Akira is so strong that Natsuki is reduced to defending and running. Oh damn, they’re running all over the place and destroying everything! Where are the teachers?! Did they flee?! Natsuki is so mad but she still can’t beat Akira. That is when Yanagisawa tells her to not let anger fill her heart and mind. Martial arts is not for killing! Akira calls this BS as Natsuki continues explaining martial arts is for self-protection and not killing. Akira won’t listen to losers so when she uses her ultimate technique, Natsuki overcomes it and uses her special attack and blasts her away! The gym is going to have a hole in the roof! Himuro who has been watching is satisfied. He isn’t panicking yet as he notes Akira is not the only strongest player he has. To Natsuki’s relief, Rina isn’t dead. She mocks the latter for loser and so the girls resume their friendly rivalry and settle their match.

With Karate I’ll Kick Your Ass!
Once again, I am guessing that such OVAs in the 90’s are ‘incomplete’ only because it is to serve as some sort of introduction and exposure for others to go and read the manga of the same name. After all, with only 2 episodes, how much can be fleshed out. There seems to be a potential story but as we have seen, the OVAs do not cover anything much and leaves a lot to be desired. I am also thinking that perhaps the OVAs also work as some sort of promotional stint because a year after its release (1995), a video game based on the OVAs was released. I won’t be surprised if nobody heard of Natsuki Crisis Battle as it was only released exclusively in Japan.

Obviously the draw of the series is to see our hot chicks do some ass kicking. I won’t say it is a masterpiece but it is not a disappointment either. At least they are interesting and intense because they want to showcase the karate and judo skills here. Obviously that Natsuki special projectile is BS. Sorry girl, you’re not playing Street Fighter II here! And of course you know, the other real reason why they have hot chicks doing high kicks is so that they can flash their panties at certain camera angles. Oh yeah. Martial arts fanservice, thank you. But sorry you horny otaku boys, no bare tits at all. Heck, no shower scenes even. But yeah, still good enough when they flash them. No wonder the bad guys got distracted and lost! However some are a bit too fast so it’s like blink or you’ll miss.

It is also because of the art and animation quality that also makes the fights entertaining. Yes, despite reeking typical 90’s style animation from the character designs to the backgrounds (the colouring and hues are a bit bland too), it is still good quality overall. The fight scenes don’t skimp on the details and they are pretty smooth so it really feels like they’re having a real believable fight. Of course until Natsuki starts using her energy blast! I guess that was the unexpected surprising move for me. And for those bringing in a weapon into a martial arts fight? You’ll taste the fist of fury of your defeat! In this world, martial arts is probably the apex of being the strongest. This anime is done by veteran Madhouse who has done lots of action animes over the years like One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter, Trigun, Highschool Of the Dead, Btooom, Overlord and Black Lagoon so it’s no wonder why this one looks good.

But if you’re looking for character development here, you’ll be sorely disappointed. After all like I have said, how much can be fleshed out in just 2 meagre episodes? Once more, it leaves a lot to be desired. Seeing the OVA ends in an ‘incomplete’ fashion, we’ll be left to wonder about the ‘bad guys’ of Jotoh especially Himuro who feels like he is going to be a typical final boss character. What are his goals? Why is he doing all this? You’ll never find your answers if you watch these OVAs. Also, don’t be fooled by his pretty face because I’m sure he has some secret dark arts that makes him invincible and hence I believe that’s why they call him the invincible demon of Jotoh. Yeah, maybe he can shoot triple Hadouken at lightning speed! Yikes! So basically it’s like a showdown between 2 different martial arts school of thoughts because one learns them to protect others while the other does it to show off and kill. Guess which style is being made the antagonist. And hence I can foresee that Natsuki and her friends are going to defend themselves against the mighty hordes of Jotoh and beat them one by one to prove to them that their way of fighting is the true justice. The power of (self-protecting) karate and the power of friendship will save the day!

Overall, I can say that this is one of those watchable retro OVA series and is quite decent compared to the few that I have caught recently. However it doesn’t bring much to the table and it leaves a lot to be desired. Had it been adapted into a proper TV season, it could have been a lot better. But that is just me being nostalgic and for the most part, this obscure series plays a big role in bringing back nostalgia from the 90’s. Well, if you are that old. For better or worse, a couple of OVA episodes are the only thing we have for this series and honestly I don’t want it brought back up from the dead, revived to be remade or rebooted. That will be a real not-so-keen crisis then! (Sorry, bad Natsuki pun). I hope Natsuki will have enough energy blast to blast that blasphemy away.