Gochuumon Wa Usagi Desu Ka Bloom

Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE!!! You mean the order has not yet finished! There are more?! Who would have guessed that after 5 years, the third season of Gochuumon Wa Usagi Desu Ka Bloom would reach the airwaves. Oh right. That movie and extra OVA in between but I guess I missed those. But anyway, with the third season gracing our screens, did we not suffocate enough from the extremely cute lolis from the past 2 seasons?! Did we not die of extreme asphyxiation and heart tightening conditions?! I guess we’re so addicted that we need to extra order another season for more of them. Since it has come this far, there is no more turning back. The moe loli hell has become our moe loli addiction. We now need this to survive. We now need this to get through our daily lives. What would life be without our cute little lolis?! I can’t imagine that?! So we’re ordering a lot more extra orders for the road and the future! We have already crossed the line of no return…

Episode 1
It’s a hot summer. Our Rabbit House trio thought of wearing yukata to cool down but it seems this only scares away Aoyama… Yeah, she thought she went to Amausa by mistake. Because the vest makes them feel hot, they remove it. Unfortunately the usual loli customers couldn’t recognize them! Yeah, their colour code is so important! Hence Cocoa gets an idea to make their own summer outfits. They head to the store with sale but all those housewives are making it tough even for Rize to approach. Don’t worry. Sharo is here to help. Sugoi power… As they go to another shop for the fabric, it seems there are no pink fabric at least to match Cocoa’s colour. No, the sequin one won’t do. Cocoa remembers she might have some at home and after going through all that junk, they finally find it. Yeah, thank Chino’s mom for leaving such great fabric behind. With all that junk, the trio go to sell some at the flea market. Yeah, nobody buys… They are so happy when a customer did. Cocoa then spots Sharo and Chiya buying china. Quite expensive… So when Chiya accidentally drops them because she’s exhausted, Sharo instinctively goes to save the china! Teacup set > Chiya! Sad… Returning to her pals, looks like their depression just increased because no sales. So leave it to Cocoa, Sharo and Chiya to somehow bring in the sales with their cute charm. Oh yeah. The customers are coming now. Rize and Chino want to help but looks like they have to deal with a lost child. While Rize goes to find her mom, Chino is stuck with her. Lost. Who is more lost? A magic trick backfired and didn’t work. So Chino gives her a toy rabbit. All smiles again. Thanks Chino onee-chan. Like the sound of that? Back home, they celebrate their success and Cocoa has bought lots of coloured doorknobs. Now you know why the junk keeps piling. Chiya has bought an old shirt from Rize. Since Sharo wants one too, Rize has the size for her. Now she can die happy. Cocoa also gives hers to Chino but in return wants hers. Is this a trade? Calculating the profits, it looks like this brings in more profit than Rabbit House! Oh dear. The unsold magic set, Cocoa decides to buy it and put on a magic show for them. At first it backfires but then she starts to bloom flowers like a pro. Wow. So magical. At least to Chino. The Rabbit House girls have completed their summer outfits. Looks the same but with slight design changes. At least it feels cooler now.

Episode 2
Chiya trying to force Sharo to do kimodameshi with her? You bet Sharo keeps turning her down. And somehow her home has turned into some paranormal activity thingy? How the heck did this rumour start?! Anyway, with Maya and Megu here, they also think it is a good idea to do kimodameshi. What else for Sharo but to accept? As Chiya and Sharo walk through the dark forest and reminisce old times, Rize tries to shoot them with her water gun but Chiya keeps unwittingly avoiding and it all splashes onto Sharo. Then they stumble into Tippy and stuffed rabbits! Scary! They make a run for it but fall face first into the mud. This is supposed to be cue for Cocoa to come scare them but seeing their dirty state, safe to say the girls freak each other out. In the end after all the apologies, this turns out to be Cocoa’s idea because she noticed Chiya and Sharo haven’t been hanging out with each other often recently. Sharo admits she did enjoy the whole thing. So I guess this is a success, huh? That night, Sharo even obliges to watch a horror marathon with Chiya but the latter is in shock thinking she is not well because isn’t she supposed to get mad at her?! Nobody understands Sharo’s good intentions… On another day, Cocoa is impersonating the famous phantom thief, Lapin. Noticing Sharo is outside spying on her, it is revealed Fleur de Lapin is doing a collaboration with the phantom thief but Sharo didn’t do well as the main Lapin star and it is the detective whom the kids are attracted to. So she’s trying to spy on Cocoa since she is good with kids. So you bet Cocoa is going to help Sharo turn into the real Lapin instead of some girl cosplaying as her. And that means watching some Lapin movie the whole night! Yeah… Damn, Sharo and Rize getting so emotional at the end? They never knew! With more practice, Sharo now becomes the perfect Lapin. Be careful, she might steal Chino’s heart from you, Cocoa! As thanks Sharo gives Cocoa an extra Lapin mask. However Cocoa thinks she might want a greater favour in return. Sighs. Nobody understands Sharo’s good intentions… On the day of the collaboration, the kids are swarming around Sharo as Lapin. Until Cocoa shows up as the other Lapin, all the kids now flock to her. Poor Sharo… Her business got stolen…

Episode 3
Because Chino hasn’t decide which high school to go yet, this makes Cocoa worried. Very worried. Megu invites Chino and Maya to tour a fancy high school to give them some ideas about the high school they should enrol in. Meanwhile Cocoa and Chiya are put in charge of this year’s cultural festival. Oh f*ck! Is that a sex museum suggestion I see on the board???!!! The duo act tough that they can handle it but later Chiya baulks from the pressure, wondering if she can handle it and affect her performance at Amausa. The loli trio start their tour with a speech by a scholarship student, Rin Mate. At first the speech is all nice until it ends with something personal. A bounty on Aoyama’s head! She is Aoyama’s editor and has been pushed to the limits by her?! While Chino and Maya wait for Megu to do her business in the ladies’, a slight distraction has them lost. Megu bumps into Rize while the others bump into Sharo. Both think the lolis are trespassing and hence let them wear their school’s uniform to find the other. Oh yeah. How does it feel to wear such fancy uniform for oujo-sama? Gokigen yo! Lots of gokigen yo experience and they even get to experience a few real oujo-sama activities like teatime and ballroom dancing! They could get use to this. More gokigen yo greetings until both sides pass each other. Rize and Sharo are embarrassed once they learn the truth but I guess the lolis just wanted to play along and have some fun. It seems Maya is thinking of enrolling here. Surprise! Her teacher actually recommended her here since she got good greats! You girls don’t think she’s just a stupid loli, right?! She thought they should all enrol here but her friends start teasing her keeping lots of secrets. More mayhem because Cocoa and Chiya are also here. It seems they are here to borrow supplies for the festival and became friends with some club. They start teasing Rize and Sharo about all the etiquettes, embarrassing them further. The lolis think this may actually be a fun school to study in. Hope they don’t find all those gokigen yo stuff choking. Chino starting to really think about her high school future now.

Episode 4
Flashback shows some other class got collaboration with some stall who sell juice. Hence Cocoa’s class might look dull if they sell the same thing. Hence that wise idea of having their interior look fancy and thus borrowing stuffs from that gokigen yo school. So when Cocoa and Chiya return, their pals think they’ve been brainwashed since they’re still wearing that uniform (in hopes of showing off). Then they show all the stuffs that they got via winning competitions from various clubs? Did they also ask from the occult club or something? Rize and Sharo look jealous that Cocoa’s school is having much more fun. But so as no one will be left out, Cocoa and Chiya give their pals invitation to their festival. Now everyone can have fun. Arriving at the festival, they are quickly led to Cocoa’s class who seems to be doing a mock Oktoberfest. Underage kids serving and drinking beer???!!! OMFG!!! Oh… Just apple juice… Lots of fun and all as Rize and Sharo are invited to dress up as them. Well, thanks to their overlapping schedule, some girls have to participate in their other clubs. Thankfully, Rize and Sharo are no strangers to serving so bring on the customers! As thanks for their efforts, they are also given their school uniform to dress so they can blend in and have fun elsewhere in school. Gee, is this necessary because I thought the festival is open to the public and the invited? Oh, iinchou wants to wear their fancy gokigen yo uniform… More fun till the end of the day. And with that, Chino hints that she knows which school she wants to go next. Because Chino left a very touching photo of her friends having fun together at the festival (one of the activities provided from the photography club is to take any photo you want around the festival). Back home, Chino sees Cocoa’s uniform and tries it on for size. When Cocoa sees this, she is so happy and won’t let go of Chino. I hope this won’t change her mind…

Episode 5
Once more Rin is chasing Aoyama for her manuscript. This has the girls note they’re chasing each other all day like a marathon. This reminds Cocoa that their school is organizing one soon. Chiya rues running a lot but with Cocoa promising to be her big sister and the likes, you bet Chiya is motivated. Initially Cocoa wanted Rize to help her train but since she cannot wakeup in the wee hours of the morning (despite making Chino as her personal alarm clock), so I guess Rize goes to train Chiya. It is tough at first but she perseveres. A stamp card to help motivate her once she fills it all. Cocoa then begs Sharo to help her train because she wants to secretly train from Chiya. Guess what? She still couldn’t wake up! Chiya finishes the stamp card and she gets to eat all the sweets? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? During marathon day, we see Cocoa latching onto Chiya’s hair like reins as they reach the finish line! Not bad for Cocoa who didn’t even freaking trained a single bit! On another day, Cocoa and Chiya see Aoyama out in town. Since this is her day off, she doesn’t know what to do. She suggests playing hide and seek. And it’s no difference since she has Rin trying to catch her! Isn’t this the usual? Rin has Rize and Chino on her side as they chase Aoyama’s side all around town. Yeah, it’s like giving Rin’s group the big run around and making fools out of them. Like as though fate just doesn’t want Rin to catch Aoyama no matter how close she is. Is this a joke? Cocoa then ‘betrays’ by letting her get caught by Chino because she wants to get smothered by her hug. Chiya’s running pays off and can outrun Rize. Until she hits a dead end. Bummer. The chase continues until I guess everyone decides to have fun riding the bunny carousel. Cue for some flashback between Aoyama and her old master (currently reincarnated as Tippy, remember?). She became motivated to become a novelist thanks to the pen he lent her. Once again, she thought she heard old master’s voice. It’s just Tippy on her lap… And I suppose everybody had so much fun today that Aoyama lets Rin catch her on purpose. Good things must come to an end. Don’t worry, there’ll be more chases in the future when Aoyama fails her deadline.

Episode 6
With the photo shoot for the yearbook looming, Chino and friends think of just going natural instead of prettying up themselves. Later Megu sees Chiya giving Sharo a haircut. She wants a trim too but Sharo and Chiya argue about giving Megu that. Something about the bangs… it ends up Chiya’s grandma giving her the haircut. Oh sh*t… Meanwhile Maya is at the hair accessory shop. Rize is also there. Both know nothing about it but chose the same accessory. Chino is impressed seeing Tippy all nicely trimmed by Cocoa. COCOA! You bet Cocoa is going to feel so needed when Chino asks for one. And of course she messes up her bangs. Oh sh*t. As penance, Chino can do the same to her. Eventually they both ended up having the same style and Takahiro notes they look pretty. When the lolis converge and realize everyone had done up, they accuse each other as traitors! Rabbit House will host another bread festival. With Cocoa and Rize preoccupied trying to promote the bread, Chino sulks because it’s like they’re trying to turn Rabbit House into a bakery and nobody cares about the coffee. Of course she’s just trolling. Customers stream into Rabbit House as Chino serves her special blend. Oh sh*t, I don’t know if she put some drugs in it because we see exaggerated reactions of them dancing in the flower field! Is this meth?! Oh well, coffee is already technically a kind of drug. Oh, Chino says she puts her feelings in it?! Okay. I believe her. Cocoa drinks one of Chino’s failed blends. Chino mentions this isn’t any different since Cocoa can never distinguish between the different blends. How could Cocoa? Because all her coffee tastes delicious to her! Chino blushing so cute… At the end of the day, more Chino blushing since the rest note her blend was a hit with customers. Chino wonders if she has changed. Even if everyone praises her, rabbits still run away from her. Tippy tells her to look behind. A lone rabbit who didn’t run away and allows her to touch. Are you convinced now?

Episode 7
Trick or treat! The town is all geared up for Halloween. Maya and Megu visit Amausa. Probably the most elaborated Halloween theme ever. Since Chiya hurt her hand, the lolis decide to help her out. However they start arguing due to the random points Chiya gave them. To soothe them, Chiya promises to give them candies. It’s revealed it is just a ploy to make her do so. Chiya’s turn for payback as she’s going to do some witch retribution. Next day, Chiya invites the duo to do some summoning because it somewhat came true for her when she bumped into Rize and Sharo last night. No harm trying. And with that, suddenly Cocoa and Chino come in! Wow. Such big coincidence. Chino gets worried when Maya and Megu claim to join new forces with Chiya. But big hearted Chiya hugs Chino and assures her that she’ll never take her place. Now we have Cocoa worried and jealous over this. Oh well, nothing like a big hug to cure this conflict. Later the friends meet up at night. Everyone except Rize dressed up as Lapin? Trying to save some money? They notice Cocoa not around and you’ve guessed it, she’s lost. She also meets a lost kid and tries to cheer her up with some magic tricks. She fails. Damn, the kid even tells her she sucks! Oh boy. That’s got to hurt. Cocoa really crying?! Then a strange magician (probably Chino’s mom in ghost form!) cheers her up by showing and teaching her a little magic trick of her own. Meanwhile the rest decide to go look for Cocoa. How to spot her with everyone in some Halloween garb? Oh well, try shouting out to your onee-sama! Embarrassing. But could be effective… Time for ghost magician to go so she disappears. Wow. Best magic trick ever? Cocoa finally reunites with the rest and as penalty for causing them distress, she has to treat them. As Halloween draws to a close, Chino gets worried thinking about the souls of the departed. Tippy assures her that it isn’t his time yet so Chino hugs him as hard as she can. When Cocoa shows Chino the newly magic trick she learnt, this brings back memories because mom often showed this trick to her to cheer her up.

Episode 8
Rize had a fight with her father so she ran away to stay at Cocoa’s place. Apparently when Rize said her dream was to become an elementary school teacher, father laughed at it. Let’s say her reason to become one is lolis. To put it crudely! Gotta have more lolis for this show, right? So Cocoa wants to help Rize achieve that dream? By having her cook for her, clean up her mess and take a midday nap? Does Cocoa just want to laze around? Chino is a little stricter. But this has Cocoa and Chino end up in some competition to earn stamps from Rize. Don’t fight. Here’s a stamp card for each of you to commemorate this special occasion. When Megu enters Rabbit House, it seems it’s because Cocoa is going to be her teacher?! Seriously?! You jealous, Rize? Anyway, Cocoa isn’t a good science teacher anyway. Megu and Chino then head over to Amausa because Chiya is going to be their Japanese teacher. Then they go over next door to peek at Maya being coached by Sharo sensei. Maya gets embarrassed that her secret is being found out. The trio end up studying together but it’s a bit hard because they just want to laze around and talk. Next is the Rize sensei giving them pool lessons. Megu pushes herself too hard and almost drowns! Yikes. Luckily Rize saves her as they hear Megu’s reasons of working too hard is because she wants to catch up with her friends and not be left behind. I think we all think they’re going to grow up just fine. Lolis growing up. THE HORROR!!! When Rize returns, Cocoa and the others are mad that she and the lolis went to the pool together? Turns out they were just trolling and has set up a great party to celebrate her effort. The girls have fun until Rize’s papa shows up to pick her up. A long awkwardness as father and daughter drive back home. Papa tries to break the ice but Rize is clearly not in the mood. Heart breaking. Until he says he was actually impressed by her dreams and only laughed just to hide his tears. He regrets his stupid pride hurt her feelings. Okay, but what must he say now? Sorry seems to be the hardest word but when he says that, all that animosity is blown away.

Episode 9
Wow. Chiya just defeated to class president to take over her position! Thanks to the recent festival, Chiya earned a lot of points. Yeah, the class president was way resting on her laurels… Let that be a lesson! And Cocoa trying to take credit for being her producer?! Later, Rize decides to have an image change and let her hair down. While Sharo and Chiya recognize her, Cocoa and Chino don’t. Hence, Rize tries to pull a prank on them to get back at them and also to see if they’re also pulling a fast one on her. Heck, even the lolis can tell it is Rize but they’re forced to play along. Yeah, the lies are growing bigger. Rize grows tired of putting up this charade. Until she pulls out her gun, only then Cocoa recognizes her. She claims she knew it all along but was just bluffing as it was just as recently she knew about it. Chino on the other hand is a little late to realize this and feels embarrassed. Later Cocoa tries to pull off this trick but she’s not fooling anybody. Except Chino. Poor Chino gets so mad that she threatens to ban them from having snacks! Hope that is the last straw. Chiya has a poster for Amausa although it looks like a poster of her for an election. Chino writes and reads her recommendation letter for Chiya. Stop! Anymore and she’ll explode! What about Cocoa? Chino only has bad recommendations… Sharo also announces that she is running for student council president and everybody wants to celebrate. When customers come in, Cocoa helps Chiya. But Sharo notices something odd about Chiya. Could it be due to the missing crown she gave to her when they were kids? Later when all the girls left, Sharo spots that crown on Chiya’s grandma. She’s using it as a hairpin! Sharo then returns it to Chiya who is so relieved as well as embarrassed she never knew it was this close. Sharo then tells her that she is pulling out of the election but is too embarrassed to say why. Lolicons would love the flashback of Sharo and Chiya loli versions when the former gave latter the crown. And the latter wanted to use it to rule the world?! Wow. Such big dreams. Later when everyone gathers to celebrate Chiya’s posting, it seems her class president is the one celebrating? Turns out Chiya pulled out of the race. I guess it’s a win-win then. Chiya and Sharo have the same reason of pulling out: They don’t want to spend less time from the things they love doing. Yeah, those eat up a lot of time, you know.

Episode 10
Cocoa temporarily working at Fleur de Lapin as she needs some extra cash. Cocoa is sure chirpy about her job. And that is embarrassing Sharo a lot. When it’s time to break the bank, Cocoa realizes she only has 53 yen in it?! So she thought she had 5000?! I guess mean more part time jobs. When Sharo goes to her crepe part time job, Cocoa is also working there! Then at Aoyama’s book signing event, Cocoa is working there too! Fate or coincidence?! Anyway, Cocoa working all these jobs is because she wants money to buy everyone Christmas gifts. Ah, it’s that season. And with all the friends suggesting gift exchange, looks like time to work hard for more cash or you’re all going broke for the season. Later when Chino is out and planning to visit Cocoa at one of her jobs, she thought she was surprised by her from the bank. Turns out to be Sharo impersonating Cocoa. Close. Then Sharo thought Rize did the same thing. Turns out to be Chiya. Disappointed? Chino then stumbles into Megu and Maya trying to coerce Rize to buy treats for them. She joins in. Coercing success! When Chino picks up Cocoa from her work, she realizes she forgot the umbrella. It makes this whole thing pointless. But it’s not. Because it’s snowing. The duo dance in the snow but you know, it’s slippery so they slip. As they return to Rabbit House, they realize there is a long queue outside. Chino in shock! What’s this? Rize’s dad also helping as backup? Takahiro explains that Aoyama wrote a feature article on Rabbit House and it appeared in the magazine. Yeah, everyone is coming in to try. So uhm, Cocoa already sleeping on the job? I guess it’s to hear her sleep talking about trying to be everyone’s Santa. Oh Chino, you can work hard too. No pressure… I hope. Cocoa works nonstop that she just fell asleep once she plonks on her bed. Chino realizes they haven’t changed into their winter uniform yet and as she looks through the wardrobe, realizes a few other coloured uniforms Cocoa has completed. Hmm… The right size. Time to suck in her pride and call for backup to help with the busy season. Chiya and Sharo, are you free now?

Episode 11
Sharo and Chiya are reinforcements to replace Cocoa and Rize at Rabbit House. The duo are trying to hijack and turn Rabbit House into their own coffee house and since Chino doesn’t want to lose out, WTF this nightmare latte she’s making?! Is Rabbit House doomed?! So what about days when Sharo and Chiya won’t be available? Don’t worry. Loli reinforcements! Wow. Chino so happy she starts crying!? WTF?! First order is to put a replica of Tippy as the star of the Christmas tree. When everyone is around to help, Chino starts spacing out because she can’t believe there are so many helpers are Rabbit House. Cocoa tries to fool everyone in her Santa getup but nobody’s buying it. With all their colour coded jackets, I guess the girls can do some Power Rangers spoof pose. Tippy really worried his Rabbit House is now turning into something else. At the end of the day, the girls celebrate their success as they also exchange presents. Safe to say, everybody loves their gifts. But there’s more from Cocoa since she has brought presents for everyone and does a lovely magic trick that doesn’t suck! Wow. Cocoa now a pro magician! Later that night when everyone has gone to bed, China tries to sneak her secret present into Cocoa’s room. Too bad her own internal alarm wakes her up. WTF is Santa time?! Next morning, Chino can’t turn off the alarm clock which is a surprise present from Cocoa. Damn, its alarm is Cocoa’s voice!!! OMFG!!! So annoying! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF! Oh sh*t. Can’t turn off… OH NO!!!

Episode 12
Before we forget they even exist, we take a glimpse of Cocoa’s mom and her sister, Mocha doing at their bakery in the outskirts. Mocha is feeling depressed since from the photo Cocoa sent, she and her friends are having fun. Worse, Mocha’s coffee is still horrible as ever! Just when her depression is at the lowest, mom has all the customers say what’s best about her. Instantly she gets her motivation back up and is ready to serve. Her coffee still sucks, though. What do you mean it’s even worse than before?! Cocoa soon receives a fruit cake from them as well as her middle and high school uniforms. Cocoa tries the middle school one for size and it brings back nostalgic memories. Chino tries the high school one and though it is loose for her, she thinks she has seen this uniform somewhere before. Back to Mocha and mom, the former finds a photo album of mom. One of the most memorable pictures is a high school pic with a friend named Usagi AKA Saki. She hints she isn’t around anymore. Meanwhile Chino also stumbles into that same photo in her album. If you’re still unsure who this chick is, it’s Chino’s late mom. This has Chino realize mommy didn’t spend her entire life in this town. Yeah, starting to realize the world is bigger than you think? Next day when all the friends meet, Chiya brought a pie and one of the slices contains a ring that will make her the king (queen isn’t it?) who will get to give orders to the rest. Chino is the lucky one but she needs time to think on her order. At the same time, the rest go sightseeing around town that hints world travel like overseas painting, international aroma, international cafes, and of course travel luggage. Not until Cocoa talks about how looking at the sky makes her feel connected to her family, Chino finally knows what her order is. She wants Rize to pass her college entrance exam and together with her loli friends passing theirs, she hopes all of them will go on a world tour. Sorry Cocoa, it’s not to become your little or big sister. Rize then reveals she already passed her exam but forgot to say. Everyone so happy they celebrate by throwing snowballs at her? Then a big group hug! Thank goodness for the snow. But for now, Chino’s immediate order is for everyone to hang out at her place all night long. Such a lovable king. Or queen. Later Chino talks to Cocoa and to summarize all that she said, it is thanks to her friends that she was able to discover new things. So yeah, thank you very much.

Order Now & We’ll Throw In Free Extra Lolis!
Oh man. Once again I survived the onslaught of cute girls doing cute things. Referring back to my blog from last season, now it seems I did remember that I was expecting to be ready when this third season hit the shores. Too bad I didn’t expect it to be 5 years later! And so yeah, that’s why it caught me by surprise when my guard was down. Just when I least expected it (or rather never at all), suddenly they throw at me this third season. Boom! Here I go again. Reliving all the moe and cuteness this series had to offer. Yeah. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Don’t worry if you can’t remember much about the past 2 seasons because from the nature of this series, you won’t really lose much. It is all about the cute young waitresses doing cute things in their cute little lives. Having fun all the way from working at their respective coffee houses to their school lives and even their day offs. Oh yeah. It’s like one big paradise for them and I can see why they want to continue staying this way forever. Too bad though, one day all of them are going to grow up and old! Horror for lolicons! But don’t think too much about that. That’s another (horror) story reserved for the future. Or perhaps an alternate spinoff timeline and story. Sheesh. The show has got to have turned into levels of boring if I ever dream of that happening.

So yeah, everybody is having fun in their cute ways that will either make you squirm with delight and excitement or puke with all the putrid kawaii cute factors. Such a nice delightful wonderland for our young ones to live out their youth. Sorry, if I sound like repeating myself because that is basically not much I can tell. Otherwise, it is your typical cute girls doing cute things anime of the season. Even better because this is a more popular franchise and has already gotten sequels and a movie over the years compared to others that just died out after a season and faded into obscurity. (Gee, on a side note, I really thought Blend S would get another season so I guess based on this theory of mine, it wasn’t as popular as I thought it was in the first place).

The characters. Pretty much the same as we all know them for the past seasons. Nothing has really much changed because that is how we love them. Everyone is still an airhead in their own ways. Everyone is a joker/funny girl in their own ways. Everyone is a rebuke/retort expert in their own ways. Eventually, everyone is so darn cute and kawaii in their own ways! Yeah. You just can’t really hate them and sometimes you want to squeeze, cuddle and mofumofu them to death! And I guess Cocoa mastering her magic means we can’t make running jokes or meme about her being a bad magician, no? But we still can about Mocha and her bad coffee… Hehehe… I’m not really a Sharo fan but it seems this season I kind liked her a lot most probably because of her tsundere personality and her very shrieky retorts, making her a fun and cute girl to watch. Because Cocoa feels like a retard and Rize is like funnily serious that it makes her weird in some ways. Chiya sounds too girly, Chino too blur and the loli duo too loli. Yeah. What am I saying? So yeah, Sharo might not have 100% overcome her fear of rabbits but she’s making progress. Slow but steady and surely.

Basically things have never changed as Aoyama continues to run away from her responsibilities and not finish her whatever book. Perhaps she can hold the record for longest unfinished book ever. Not sure if that book signing ceremony was it or if it’s another one of her shorter works. But oh well, if she gets the job done, Rin wouldn’t have the job of chasing her. Yeah. Weird. Rin’s job would’ve been mundane and redundant if Aoyama always hands in her work in time. Tippy continues to be the grandpa reincarnated as furry rabbit watching over everybody and the same for Takahiro. No place for old elderly men in this anime meant for cute little girls! We do get a little more glimpse of Aoyama’s past relationship with old master but that’s so much about it.

Although art and animation stay largely the same with the characters looking overly cute and moe and the setting of the town is your old European-like style houses, this third season Encourage Films (Isekai Cheat Magician, Love Kome, Hitorijime My Hero) has taken over producing this series from White Fox (though, it was Production DoA who did the subsequent movie and OVA). You won’t notice any huge difference but I do notice that the sceneries of the town especially during festive seasons like Halloween and Christmas, they are a sight to behold. With all the shiny decorations, wow, they are actually good to look at. Quite nice visual candy, actually. So if you get tired at fawning over the lolis (really?!), you can just admire the lovely backgrounds. This time at the end of the ending credits animation, they present to us latte art, which is of course nice and amusing to look at.

This season our same quartet of Cocoa, Rize, Sharo and Chiya sing the opening theme, Tenkuu Cafeteria. Your usual generic and typical cute and upbeat music that will have you squeal with all the cuteness and probably dance to the beat. The only thing that I somewhat dislike about the song is that it suddenly ends. Like as though they needed to fit into the 1.5 minute opener limit and have to cut it off. I don’t know, maybe it is intended that way but it just suddenly killed my vibe. Just like past seasons too, the ending theme is sung by the loli trio of Chino, Maya and Megu. Nakayoshi Nakayoshi is another predictably cute song with all the liveliness you would expect. Only this time Alice In Wonderland theme? Might as well ramp up the cuteness at this rate since we’re already here. For the final episode, Yume Utsutsu Happy Time by the aforementioned quartet somewhat reminds me of Secret Base. Don’t know why, it’s not even the same song but somewhat it gives off that feel.

Overall, if we can survive 2020, we can survive all the suffocating cuteness that this season has spammed in our faces. Because if you ever need to run away from brutal reality and only extremely cute girls can heal the vicious cycle of life, this anime is it! Uh huh. Not kidding. I can see why this is one of the very few cute girls doing cute things series to get sequels. That is why if they are going to make a fourth season, I’ll be ready for all that when it comes and better die of extreme asphyxiation and heart tightening conditions than the stress of everyday life. Whether it is another 5 years or 10 years later (assuming very heavily these lolis will NEVER grow up!), all I need is to do is sit back and relax while sipping my cup of coffee. Oh yeah. How far down the rabbit hole can I go to escape realism? I am now ready to order again, if you don’t mind…

Gal To Kyouryuu

Wow, damn. It seemed like forever. Gal To Kyouryuu was one of those few anime series of early 2020 that were already running a handful of episodes when suddenly it had to postpone the rest because of, you guessed it, Corona virus. In fact, when it finally resumed it could be one of the last few shows to do so. Aside Idolish7 Second Beat, this series was unfortunately delayed for 2 seasons! And I was watching half of it when this unfortunate postponement came in. Yeah, I was quite confident that one of the first few shows I decided to watch for the spring 2020 season would not get such treatment since well, it was already halfway running. How wrong I was. You know me and my bad memory. Should I watch it again when it restarted? Oh my. Hectic anime schedule running hectically back as usual. Too busy of an excuse to rewatch. Just carry on where I left off. Oh, what’s this about, you say? Gal so wasted and drunk one night, she brought home a dinosaur! Wow. Now I remember why I needed to check this out.

Episode 1
* Kaede wakes up and sees a dinosaur in her living room! Oh, she remembers. She was drunk last night and brought that thing home. Oh well. Can’t fret about it now. She has to prepare herself for work while Dino just sits there and stare at the wall until it is evening time. Then he decides to just sleep? I guess he frets nothing too. He is awakened by the sound of the kettle. Kaede is back and looks like it’s dinner time. Yay! Dino is most happy. However his dinner is not the cup ramen he thought it would be. This canned tuna?! You gotta be kidding me! Looks like Dino wants your cup ramen. Okay, okay. Kaede Google if dinosaurs can eat ramen. No search results! OMG! But whatever. She lets him eat them. Since Dino eats it professionally, Kaede takes it he has eaten ramen before. Whatever. It tastes good!
* Dino Channel: Dino waits for the cup ramen to boil in exactly 3 minutes. But as the time nears, Kaede calls him to help with something. So I guess he missed the perfect timing to eat it.
* Kaede is free today. Got no plans. What about you, Dino? Do dinosaurs have plans? Let’s go out. Dino’s face lights up! As they head downstairs, they meet the landlady and her cats. So the question is, can Kaede keep a dinosaur pet? Well, as long as her cats aren’t frightened. Yeah, they’re all over Dino. I guess that’s okay. However during all that, Dino was terrified! Wait a minute. Dinosaurs scared of cats? This theory then: Could it be if dinosaurs are scared of cats because we all know how cats drove many species into extinction and hence dinosaurs were extinct because of cats????!!!! MIND BLOWN???!!! Anyway, Kaede hints they need to get Dino some toothbrush and towel. Because he’s staying again at her place tonight, right? Yahoo!
* Dino Channel: Dino waits at the bus stop but the cats come to surround him. He runs away and comes back later when there are no cats. But they are just hiding and waiting for him…
* This segment plays out exactly like the first part. Except now we have an elderly man, Mieharu who brought back Dino in his drunken state last night and everything is live action. But it has come continuity after that. Because they both celebrate Christmas and Mieharu gives him a scarf present. Then the landlady visits to give some of her extra soup. But Mieharu is too busy having fun with Dino to even notice someone at the door so the landlady doesn’t want to bother their fun and leaves the soup at the door. Then Mieharu and Dino have some cheesecake. But Mieharu’s stomach starts to hurt… Oh no…

Episode 2
* Kaede’s friend, Yamada will be coming over. Dino tries to dress up but she doesn’t need him to act out of the ordinary. So when Yamada arrives, she is surprised to see Dino. Is he kinda small for a dinosaur? Kaede thinks it is big enough. Well, considering how crammed this place is, having something as ‘big’ as Dino sure takes up space! While Dino just watches the TV, the gals take and post pictures. Then they join Dino in watching the TV drama until evening. Yamada then leaves and wonders if Dino is Kaede’s partner. Kaede brushes off that joke.
* Dino Channel: We see Dino enjoying his bubble bath.
* While out with Yamada, Kaede receives a call from Shouta. He is her ex-boyfriend so you bet she isn’t going to pick it up. As Dino bums around at home, a doorbell rings. It is Shouta. Dino lets him in because he recognizes his face on Kaede’s picture wall. When Kaede returns, she as a bad feeling seeing Shouta’s scooter parked outside. Upon entering her room, WTF Dino and Shouta playing cards?! Asking why Dino let him in, Dino points out to the picture. Yeah, why keep a photo of your ex if you’re over him? Anyway, he is here to pass some souvenir his mom got from Korea. Okay. Thanks. Now get out. But it can’t end like this, right? Because Shouta thought they should all stay and play cards together. Okay. Just for tonight.
* Dino Channel: Dino playing old maid with Shouta. Dino always wins only because of the fact that Shouta is sitting in front of a mirror!
* We return to that live action piece with Mieharu. It seems the day restarted? This time Dino sees a visual kei punk! However Mieharu can’t see him but the young lad doesn’t blame Dino. It’s not his fault. It seems there is a picture on Mieharu’s wall. A group picture with him and many kids and this lad is one of them. That night as they celebrate Christmas, this time a blackout occurs but it comes back and at the same time the landlady personally hands him her soup. After they drink it, Mieharu has stomach ache. The lad is furious because he thought he had changed the timeline. So he writes in his discount Death Note (Schedule?!) to do it again. This time, making Mieharu and Dino never ever meeting. So Mieharu celebrates Christmas alone. The landlady enters to hand her soup. He drinks it and falls sick. The lad sad again. However it seems the landlady can see the lad and is also in possession of the same Schedule as him. Fast forward a few months, we see Dino living with Kaede. He gives her a Schedule but she throws it away after finding it creepy. Then they go out to eat.

Episode 3
* Time for Kaede to go to work. Since Dino wants to go out too, she hands him a spare key. I suppose Dino watched too much love drama TV because he gives off that smirk thinking when Shouta and Kaede broke up, she has him give her back the spare key. Yeah… Cheesy imagination… Dino goes out but stumbles into the convenience store Kaede works at. Attracted by the smell of oden, Kaede treats him to one and adds a few condiments to go with it. Dino leaves a happy dinosaur as Kaede realizes this took a huge chunk out of a pay. Oh well, as long Dino is happy.
* Dino Channel: We see Dino enjoying his oden but looks like Shouta is at the door so he goes to share it with him.
* Nanami Taguchi also works at the convenience store. Although she is Kaede’s senior, she has this misconception of gals being scary and hence afraid of them. That’s why she finds it hard to tell Kaede not to read a magazine during her shift. But Kaede is reading about dinosaurs? Yeah, she wants to know what Dino eats. So ramen just wasn’t it? Kaede asks Nanami about it but apparently they teach such stuffs in college. However she does have a dinosaur encyclopaedia at home. Kaede is excited to visit her home after work. After meeting her parents and dinner, Kaede goes through the encyclopaedia. Nothing! Yeah, do we even know what kind of dinosaur is Dino?! But in the end, Nanami and Kaede become good friends.
* Dino Channel: We see Dino hanging out at the park. From feeding pigeons to paddling a boat. Then as he naps on the bench, when he wakes up, cats surround him! Horror!
* Kaede and Dino go out on their day off. She gives him a spare key. They ‘teleport’ to the park that is near the sea. As Dino has watched too many horror shark movies, of course he is scared. Kaede knows better that sharks can’t swim in such shallow waters as she assures and teases him at the same time. Later Dino shows off his baseball swings to a few kids. Impressed, they give him a keychain. Doesn’t this design look like Dino?! Is his merchandise already out there?! Then they go shopping at the wet market and then a clothing store in which Dino got himself some trendy cap. Dino swaps out the (lame) spare key’s keychain with the newer one.

Episode 4
* Kaede accidentally steps on Dino’s tail. Well, it’s so big and in the way, right? They brainstorm for ways to not let it happen again. How about Dino wrap the tail around himself? Looks cool until he lets go and the whiplash hits Kaede’s face. How about tying it to his neck? Can’t breathe! How about writing and putting a marker on it? Well, Dino goes to bathe and washes it off. When he comes out, he sees Kaede with a kitchen knife. Gulp. Say, you know how lizards can lose their tail and grow back another one? OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!! Did this become some horror movie?!
* Dino Channel: Dino trying to put on make-up. Let’s say dinosaurs are not meant for make-up! Because Kaede laughing her ass of…
* It is Christmas Eve so Kaede and Nanami wear Santa outfits as part of management’s orders. Then the usual gang comes in. Apparently Shouta is just drunk and noisy. So you wonder why the bunch is here. To buy foodstuffs for party back at Kaede’s place! You bet Kaede is not happy but upon seeing Dino’s innocent smile, I guess she has to allow it. Oh, she’s going to join in too. And Nanami as well.
* Dino Channel: Dino wakes up in the middle of the night and realizes he has a present. Wow. It’s a glittering rock! So happy and excited until he tires himself out. Merry Christmas.
* I guess another uneventful Christmas as Kaede sleeps in. Dino watches TV and stumbles into this weird naked cowboy dude, Zakoshi. Next thing Dino knows, he wakes up to see Zakoshi bugging him to have fun. And so we see the gang in weird mini stage presentations and there is one which is some subliminal brainwashing message. Just freaky if you ask me. When Kaede returns home, Dino hides Zakoshi in the bathroom. Dino won’t let Kaede enter the bathroom but fails. Kaede sees Zakoshi taking a bath. Awkward stare down before Zakoshi just leaves. Kaede reminds Dino not to just let anybody in! WTF Dino and Zakoshi continue dancing on the roof. Next morning, Dino wakes up. Could it be just a dream? But isn’t that Zakoshi’s hat? Kaede wants to see it but Dino won’t let.

Episode 5
* Kaede and Yamada are singing their hearts out a karaoke joint on New Year’s Eve. Only, it’s quite pricey… Meanwhile Dino learns from the landlady about the plant ornaments she puts out for this event. No, you can’t eat it! After wishing Dino a good year, Dino gets happy and starts, uhm, dancing?! Caught red handed by Kaede! But Dino cheers up after hearing she bought soba noodles for him. Best start to the New Year! As they countdown to midnight, a few seconds before it, Dino opens the windows and jumps out! Just to synchronize with the fireworks! Yeah, it’s going to be an awesome year alright.
* Dino Channel: As Kaede takes a bath, Dino is accidentally locked out the balcony. No choice, he jumps down and gets in by the front door. Initially mad, Kaede then shows the door wasn’t locked in the first place. Oops…
* Dino joins Kaede and Yamada to pray at the shrine. Dino gets scared when Yamada lies about the gods will turn you into a statue if you anger them. Hence we get a live demonstration on how to wash your hands properly at the shrine as Dino follows it step by step. Then as they pray, Dino follows the girls and enters a trippy dream land?! Snap out of it! Next, they take their fortune readings. The girls have good luck but Dino’s is super bad luck! Since he can’t read, Yamada lies to him that he has great luck. Dino so happy…
* Dino Channel: Dino wants to show Kaede the shooting star. However she is glued to her handphone each time one passes. By the time she looks up, the shooting star is gone. This go on for a few more times until Kaede gets tired and goes back in. Dino is mad at the sky and then suddenly the sky is filled with shooting stars! Curses!
* OMG! Dino hiking in somebody’s car to go to the stream to camp! OMG! Do dinosaurs know how to camp?! Maybe he watched those videos but damn, this dinosaur sure knows how to make fire and grill his food! Dino chilling! The best chill as he puts on Zakoshi’s hat. Then a considerable time we see Dino cooking his meat! Yum! Looking at the stars, this reminds him of doing so with Kaede back at her place. After packing some meat, he then takes out… Schedule!!! OMG. What happens next? He burns it as fuel for fire! OMFG! Feeling a lot warmer?

Episode 6
* Kaede takes Dino to the video store and you can see his face lighting up. Too bad he can only pick 1 video and not the entire series! Dino then walks into the adult section… Thank goodness dinosaurs’ taste are different, right? Guess who is there? Shouta! This guy panics upon seeing Kaede and Dino but they don’t really care and leave. In the end, Dino picks a scary movie. She wonders if Dino is okay with it. Back home, they first watch Kaede’s pick. Uhm… Jurassic Parkour???!!! Man, Dino scared of T-Rex!!! When they watch Dino’s horror pick, it’s Kaede’s turn to get scared.
* Dino Channel: Dino tries to watch TV while Kaede is asleep. After picking up the snacks he clumsily drops, the video can’t start. So he just starts eating while staring at the blank screen.
* Shouta is here to share mikan with them. Kaede don’t want to let him in but seeing Dino’s happy face, I guess she has to. Kaede is perplexed that Shouta’s mom still sends her things so Shouta says she is quite fond of her. Then it hit Kaede that Shouta hasn’t told her they have already broken up. Oh dear. But Dino happily enjoying his mikan. The duo then show Dino a floating mikan trick and even teach him how to do it. Dino then tries to show it off to the landlady but she is impressed he eats mikan. Dino sad…
* Dino channel: Dino practises the floating mikan trick when suddenly a mikan actually floats! OMG! For real?! Turns out to be Shouta using a string to make it look like it’s floating.
* What’s a bored Kaede and Dino got to do? Play games! What else?! So they start off with this buzz wire challenge. Kaede fails and you’d think Dino’s clunky hands would be worse. Guess what? Dino transforms into a mini version and scores! He can do that???!!! Then Dino proceeds with some quiz thingy in which Kaede gets all wrong. When Kaede fails to make a joke, Dino transforms to his small version and floats away in balloons? Huh? Then Dino tries origami. Too fat his hands. Can’t fold it. Then they play some mini badminton in which Kaede wins. So what does sulking Dino do? Turn into a small version and ride away on a toy tank. Huh? Is this supposed to be cute? And to answer an earlier quiz question on the special day of April 17, unfortunately it isn’t because it’s my birthday (yes! It’s this day!) but rather it is National Dinosaur Day! At least in Japan.

Episode 7
* Kaede sprained her back. Looks like Dino has to go out on his own. While frolicking at a park, he hears a wandering musician playing his music, Naotaro. He thinks it isn’t much but he hopes his music can make things better. Yup, Dino believes that and brings him home to cheer up Kaede! So strut your stuff already! Yeah, this guy starts screaming like a hard rock punk music! WTF???!!! Not sure if this will make Kaede sicker. Uh huh. She’s in a dilemma to whether laugh or cry. A few months later, Naotaro has made it big and is on TV! Regret didn’t get his autograph then?
* Dino Channel: Dino is sick and stays in bed. He gets up to throw the tissue paper he missed thrown into the paper wastebasket. And then he sneezes. All his snot covers the bed. Oh well. Just go back to sleep.
* Dino goes out to meet Shouta. He is worried if Kaede has brought back any other guys. Other than you, Dino. Of course Dino misinterprets the question so all those delivery guys count too, eh? This makes Shouta jealous so he is going over to make his feelings clear to her. Suddenly Dino understands that a ‘comet is heading straight towards Earth’! Oh sh*t! Meanwhile Yamada is at Kaede’s place. She is asking if she still has feelings for Shouta since she hasn’t dated any other guys. Kaede says it’s normal. Yamada jokes about Shouta will come running here if she calls his name. What do you know? It’s… Dino! And then Shouta. How the heck does a dinosaur run faster than him?! When Shouta says he wants to get back with her, Kaede laughs because of the great timing of Yamada’s question. Anyway they all start eating nabe. But Shouta still wants an answer. Okay. She puts up a picture of him on her wall. Enough? You bet.
* Dino Channel: Not sure what this Dino bopping back and forth means. If this trippy weirdness is some subliminal brainwashing message…
* As Kaede is still out sick, Dino heads out alone. At the laundrette, a couple of girls find it amusing a naked dinosaur is here. But they soon wonder what it is doing here since it has no clothes to wash! Mind boggling! And then Dino brings back a few weird guys just to cheer Kaede up. I swear if this was another dimension, this would actually look like some porn gangbang scene! All the weirdoes do funny sh*t stuff that is just so cringe. In the end, everybody gets excited because it was fun as they all give a big group hug to Dino. And Kaede is so touched that she wants to cry?! Okay, enough of the cringe stuff already!!!

Episode 8
* Nanami’s parents hope she can invite Kaede for dinner. Throughout the day, Nanami has long and deep thoughts on how to invite Kaede. Will she ever get to settle on one? Eventually she sums up her courage to just go ask her. Nice and short. Too bad, because Dino, Shouta and Yamada are also here, they take it that she too invites them. Oh well. Got to ask mom and make more provisions. Yeah, Dino such a happy dino.
* Dino Channel: Dino can’t stop hiccupping no matter what he does. Then a cat comes in and scares the daylights out of him. Will that help? NOPE! The cat also gets ‘infected’ by his hiccups! Double hiccup trouble all night long!
* Kaede and Yamada are talking about horoscopes. They are bummed out thinking Dino doesn’t know his birthday and thus they can’t read his horoscope. WERE DATES EVEN INVENTED BACK THEN???!!! THINK ABOUT IT!!! Sad Dino face… But don’t fret! They’ll just set his birthday. And it’s today! Hooray! Happy Dino face! Time to party! Happier Dino face! When all the friends gather, you wonder how many candles will be on Dino’s birthday cake! OH SH*T! THE ENTIRE BIRTHDAY CAKE IS ON FIRE!!! Yeah, an excuse to use all the unused candles but damn, if they actually used 10 million candles… Dino is afraid of all the fire and quickly blows it out before they even start singing. Then they all give him presents and he is quite satisfied with all of them. What a wonderful day.
* Dino Channel: Dino tries to blow out the candles but it always comes back. Soon they reveal to him those are trick candles. Hence Dino can’t wrap his head around it and starts trying to blow it out till morning. Yeah, the candles still come back on…
* In this live action version, looks like Kaede is bummed out Dino doesn’t know his birthday. Screw that because let’s just make today his birthday and celebrate it! Oh yeah! She also invites her friends, Nae and Mirai. The more the merrier. As they start digging into the food, suddenly an incident! Oh no! Somebody ate Mirai’s egg! While Nae and Dino are more than happy to play detective, Kaede is reluctant to play along because there’s more where that came from. As she takes them to the container at the back, ALL THE EGGS ARE GONE! This is serious! Who could the culprit be? Little do they know as they are deliberating it, some white guy does that Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible trademark move of hanging down from the ceiling and stealing all the eggs at the main table! OMFG!!! He retreats when the rest return. Now they are shocked to see all the eggs here gone too. More detective play. Everyone then accuse Kaede of being the culprit and as they bug her, the culprit tries to steal some from the container. However he is caught in the act. Whoops. Awkward stare. And before you know it, Dino and the girls start singing and dancing!!! WTF???!!! I HOPE THE FOOD WASN’T LACED WITH METH OR SOME KIND DRUGS???!!! Weird birthday bash…

Episode 9
* The usual thing at home… Until the lights go out! Panic! You can hear and ‘see’ lots of bumping around. Are dinosaurs afraid of the dark? Anyway, Kaede manages to get her handphone to on the flashlight. They play a little shadow puppet before she switches the breaker back on. The culprit being Dino trying to heat the nikuman and with all the appliances in use, this overloaded the circuit. After finishing the nikuman, Dino feels this isn’t enough and heats another one. Poof! Here we go again.
* Dino Channel: Dino sees a big yakisoba and goes to heat it up. But he trips and spills it all over. As not to make it go to waste, he eats it. The 5 second rule doesn’t apply to him, right?
* Dino looks like he is having super good dreams. So he goes back to sleep again and dreams of… Riding unicorns with cats running by his side chasing Shouta?! Next time, Dino turns in early so that he could dream. Kaede and Yamada talk about liking to stay awake for them. Yamada might jinx it wondering if Dino gets a nightmare. Because that night… Oh, the restless twists and turns we see Dino have…
* Dino Channel: Dino makes mochi with rabbits on the moon! Does he have to destroy the rocks just to pound the mochi? Then he chokes on them? This dream turned into a nightmare…
* Kaede haven’t had any dreams lately. So she lists them down and shows it to Dino. Whatever they are, Dino approves. We see Dino dreaming. Feels more like a huge LSD trip!!! As long as Dino is happy eating ramen, it’s a wonderful dream. Then his nightmare of his tail trying to chase and eat him! When Kaede wishes to travel the world and eat nice food, Dino hypnotizes her to another world and gives her tons of cup ramen! WF?! Dino is now a master hypnosis?! Next dream, same thing but she wants trendy shoes. She got loads of geta sandals instead. Finally, she wants a cool part time job. Panning for gold, huh? Hey, nice gold nugget. When she asks what Dino’s dreams are, they return to the ordinary world. This is his dream. This everyday life with her is his dream! Aww! How nice! But first, they have to do something with all the cup ramen and get sandals littered in the room! BUT HOW?! We see Dino trying to grab hold of a cheeky cup ramen that has a mind of its own. It evades capture until Dino tricks it. Now he can enjoy the little cup wonder.

Episode 10
* A guy is sad his pet cockatoo is lost and puts up posters all over. Kaede is willing to help out when she can. Speaking of that bird, it’s at Dino’s place! Dino meets bird. I wonder if Dino has seen such species before. After a little freaking out because it could imitate talks, they become like best friends. Yeah. Bird has water, Dino has coffee. They hang out until it is evening when the bird suddenly says sayonara and flies away! Dramatic heartbreak for Dino! When Kaede returns, she sees Dino crying! OMG. What happened? Next day, the bird has been found but Dino is still sad… :’(.
* Dino Channel: Dino misses cockatoo but when he sees its silhouette outside the room, memories of their fun times flood in. He goes to greet it. Turns out to be a different bird. Nothing to see here…
* Kaede sees an old bag and this brings back memories of her time in the calligraphy club. She still hasn’t lose touch as she tries out. Looks like Dino is raring to go. Hey, can he write?! But he can’t just simply write so Kaede has to be strict with him on posture and etiquette. In the end, they want to frame up his work but Dino folds it and walks all the way to Shouta to give it to him. He thinks it is a letter from Kaede but when he opens up… OMG! It looks like some cursed letter! And that Dino smirk… Did this turn into a horror channel?
* Dino Channel: Dino tries calligraphy but that darn fly keeps buzzing around. He tries to smack it but at the same time causes all the ink to fling everywhere. Dino trips and falls face flat into the paper. Hey, nice artwork. He frames it up to show to Kaede but she’s not amused with the mess made.
* After Kaede goes off to work, Dino realizes he is not home alone. A cat!!! Well, looks like Dino isn’t too scared and tries to be its friend. Trying to feed it ramen? Pudding? Oden? Nope. Nope. Nope! Ah, mackerel. After that, Dino plays with the cat. Yeah, cat lovers are going to love how cute kitty is prancing on the toy. Worthy of cat videos on YouTube! Dino goes so far as to make a cat tower for it and more cat cuteness! Dino plays with it till he tires out. When he wakes up, kitty is gone. Oh, glass door is open. Déjà vu sadness! Kaede returns to see him crying so he explains. Then she shows him a poster of a lost cat. Then she praises him for caring so much about the kitty. All the blues blown away as she takes him out to eat. So he wants mackerel, huh?

Episode 11
* Kaede fears she misplaced her handphone. Hoping that she left it at home, Nanami helps to call. Thankfully it is but can Dino answer? He slaps it?! Oh, it’s actually Shouta on the line. He is feeling lonely and wants to be with Kaede. OMFG!!! THE CRINGE FACE ON DINO IS SO EPIC!!! Shouta thought Kaede is giving him the cold shoulder (MORE EPIC CRINGE DINO FACE!!!) until he realizes it is Dino. Oh sh*t! Forget what I said. I was drunk. Bye. Thank goodness cringe over. But during that period, Nanami’s call was put on hold so they try again and this time Dino picks up. Hmm… Nobody answering. But Kaede can tell it is Dino because he is eating her chips!!! You better not get her handphone all greasy with your fingers!!! Kaede continues to ‘communicate’ with Dino like charging the phone and it so amazes Nanami.
* Dino Channel: Dino wants to go out but it starts raining. He waits patiently but it gets heavier. Ah, screw it! He goes to sleep.
* Dino helps sweep the place and the landlady gives him a thousand yen! No wonder Kaede feeling a bit jealous. He gets paid more than her in under an hour!!! With that, Dino epically bathes, uses the air-cond and hair dryer at full blast to dry himself. Kaede warns him about wasting electricity and water and shows him the bill. Next time you waste, you pay. However Dino wants to pay this and has the cash to splash. I mean, does he have 5 grand? Dino then takes out his hidden stash of thousand yens… OMFG!!! OH… MAH… GAWD!!! Kaede wants to switch jobs! Can she sweep the ground for the landlady while Dino takes her place at the convenience store?! No way! Dino is smart!!!
* Dino Channel: If you want to see Dino animated in various different art styles from frames to polygons, this is quite interesting.
* Kaede wants to go to the amusement park so apparently teleporting is now Dino’s special ability as they jump over there. It’s deserted. I think it’s haunted but they remain positive the whole amusement park is booked just for them! Lucky them. So they have fun with the many rides like Ferris Wheel, merry-go-round and other rides that I don’t know their name. At the end of the day, Kaede wonders how they will go back. WTF?! Why not just teleport like before?! Anyway, they ride the panda cart. So slow… Seriously, did they not think about this teleport thingy?!
* Dino doing a video call with some girl who is just so freaking amused of Dino super imposing himself in various backgrounds. But I’m not sure if this is intended to be spooky because you’ll notice (and the narrator also pointing out just in case we didn’t get the clue) that you can spot ‘ghosts’ of Dino in some whatever old movie costume in the background. But then again, I think it’s not because there’s a panda ghost that isn’t even trying to hide itself. WTF…

Episode 12
* Sorry to interrupt your sleep, Kaede. Yamada calls her just so she could tell she saw Dino hanging out at Starbucks Superbucks. Gonna hang out with him. Because Dino shares his coffee, Yamada notes he is a nice guy. Better than all her asshole colleagues. Wait. What?! Damn, this escalated quickly! Suddenly… Yamada rants and complains about her manager and colleagues! Is Dino equipped to hear all that?! OMFG!!! At the end of the day, Dino listens to all her worries. No problemo. Yamada is a lucky girl because later Kaede also treats her and hears her out. Yeah. No problemo.
* Dino Channel: Dino tries to see if a cicada is dead. After he touches it, it flies all about! Time to panic! Wait. Dinosaurs scared of insects? Maybe in the past they were huge but this one…
* Dino gives Kaede that annoyed look when she fails to break eggs perfectly. Dino demonstrates… He is perfect! Damn he is good! After making scramble eggs, Shouta comes over to join them for lunch. Then they just lie there doing nothing. It’s their off day today and this is how they hang out? They might be wasting time but it’s not like they care about the other stuffs happening around the world, right? Because somewhere… A dinosaur egg hatches?! OMG…
* Dino Channel: OMG. New dinosaur?! Because he is lost and looking for directions on his map. He tries to ask Dino but he is busy chasing a butterfly. When Dino comes to, he tries to help out he can. Yeah, I think Dino must be thinking this guy has some dinosaur features too but drops it when Kaede calls him. In the end, the new dinosaur is still lost.
* A taxi driver (Mieharu?!) drive Dino to the beach. Dino is worried because the taxi fare is piling up! Upon reaching, he remembers Kaede told him to call her if he is in trouble. He gives the note with Kaede’s number to him. In the meantime, he gives Dino his scarf while they wait at the beach. When Kaede arrives, she is furious! Oh sh*t! She scolds Dino for causing others trouble and taking a cab despite knowing he doesn’t have not enough money to pay. But what’s this? Dino gets mad and storms off?! Taxi driver explains Dino already paid! It was the same time he hand in the note. So Dino wanted him to call Kaede so as to join him on the beach. He should’ve called again to tell her but didn’t think so since she is already on her way. Both apologizes as Kaede returns the scarf and goes talk to Dino. Taxi driver suddenly cries. He doesn’t know why but feels it is going to be lonely. Kaede apologizes to Dino and before you know it, they’re friends again. They hang out for a while before Kaede realizes she has a job tonight. Hurry home!

Having A Gall Of A Dino-mite Time!
So that’s it? That’s all we have from Dino and friends? Man, I thought I was enjoying myself pretty well and even so I thought there would be some sort of closure. Heh. Who am I kidding? This kind of show has some sort of ending? Not sure if there would be another season since they trolled us of having another dinosaur. Especially the next episode preview of Dino Channel that reads: I Got Drunk And Brought Home A T-Rex!!! OMFG!!! That would’ve been even more epic!!! That would’ve been T-rrific! T-rex-rrific! What can be cooler than a dinosaur? Why, having 2 or 3 dinosaurs! Oh well. Thanks for the good (trippy) times anyway. Best drugs to get high without using real drugs ;p.

If you are looking for random short skits to watch, this series is it for you. Basically every skit in every episode is so random and not necessarily related so you don’t have to rack your brains about the continuity of the story. Yup, standalone fillers it always feel like and you could even watch it in any order you like with no worries. Lest you forget to keep count of which episode you’re watching. All in all, the absence of any real plot may not sit well to those looking for a deep story but then again, we are here because we want to be entertained light-heartedly by the antics of a certain dinosaur, right? After all, what can a mere dinosaur like Dino do in today’s modern age? A lot actually, as we have seen. So yeah, the fun part is seeing how Dino has fun in his modern everyday life. Beats those dark prehistoric times a million times over, eh?

I suppose that the skits are short enough to be entertaining because I figure these days we all have such a short attention span. Heh. What I am trying to say here is that this series is unique and interesting in its own way because of the various forms they employ in producing those skits per episode. The first half uses the traditional 2D hand drawn animation. In between, the 1.5 minutes short Dino Channel mostly employs claymation techniques. Finally, the second half is actually live action filming. Pretty cool and neat for a series to utilize different forms of animation. However it could have been even more epic if they had a fourth: CGI. Yup. It could have been one step slightly better had they have animation based on 3D rendered models. But I think they did use this too but sparingly in some of the later Dino Channel segments.

One of my favourite segments is the shortest: Find Dino. In this part that lasts only 10 seconds, you are given just that amount of time to spot where Dino is in a picture filled with lots of distracting stuffs. Now, this is actually a fun and easy segment but the only thing that ‘pressures’ you is the gradually increasingly dramatic music. It plays a huge psychological part to make you rush and make mistakes and unable to find Dino since your mind will be unconsciously telling you to hurry up and find Dino as the clock is ticking down! This will in turn try to make you look here and there very quickly. And it is that quick glance that will make you miss where Dino is even if your eyes have already scanned through that area. Damn the pressure! Without the music, I believe the success rate is higher. Hence the key is not to panic, ignore the music and look slowly and closely. For the record and not to brag, of all the dozen hidden Dinos, I managed to pinpoint half correctly! I’m so proud of myself.

I find the live action segments to be the weirdest. Very strange. Sure, in terms of ‘story’, it is somewhat the same like its 2D animation in the first half. Random and fun. Firstly, I am puzzled about the initial episodes that show Dino living with an elderly man, Mieharu. Remember this guy? It was a really bizarre moment when some kei visual punk tried to change things and I’m not sure the back story or the plot for this. But my theory is that because of whatever intervention to whatever fate, Dino never met Mieharu and hence Dino’s existence is now passed over to Kaede. That is how Dino came into Kaede’s life. It would have been interesting to actually explain or continue that story but I guess they just needed some sort of ‘plot’ for this segment. The final episode shows the strange meeting with Dino and the taxi driver but I guess nothing actually changed. It was a bittersweet moment but I guess we don’t want to go there and stir the hornet’s nest. What’s done is done. On with the new life. But the rest of Dino’s fun times with Kaede feel like one huge trippy LSD trip. Some episodes are even weirder even if it is just Dino’s dream. Especially one whereby a few strange (and ugly) men came to cheer a sick Kaede up. I don’t that actually feels like a porn setting!!! SERIOUS!!! I had this peculiar thinking at the back of my mind that these guys are going to gang bang Kaede back to health!!! OMFG!!! I don’t even… Literally, a huge WTF moment.

As for the characters, I guess they’re pretty okay and lovable in their own right. Especially Dino. Of course Dino. Who would actually dislike or hate this character who is basically the main mascot of the series? Forget all logic and even how Dino ended up in modern times. Dino is so lovable because he is so chill and cool (even if his live action version looks clumsy, he is still quite adorable), doing this at his own pace while he clumsily navigates through modern life of humanity while fumbling his way learning things (can I say that at this rate he is no longer afraid of cats? Yeah, he got domesticated good). It’s a good thing seeing that Dino is able to adapt and live a pretty simple and comfortable life. Bugs me how he can really understand Japanese in a short time and also get used to all the daily human rituals. Like as though he was once human but some curse turned him into a mute dinosaur. But I guess the best Dino owning moment is when he secretly makes more money than Kaede! Oh sh*t! Imagine if a dinosaur makes more money than you! And all you suckers go buy those cute Dino merchandises online too! Hehehe…

The more Dino continues to live his modern life, I believe the more skilful he will become as you can see the myriad of skills he has picked up and perfected. Oh damn, this ancient creature that once roamed the planet and now extinct is beating us at our own game! He is making us shameful by doing a lot of simple things that we take for granted! Even if he can’t do it perfectly, at least he can try to make it look like he has done it with style and conviction. You can tell by his smug and confidence look after it. Pretty fun. Pretty funny. Dino, you carry on being you.

So what sound does the dinosaur make? I don’t know but at least he has a few memorable ones during the live action segments. Like that DJ air horn sound effect whenever he is happy or approves. Yeah, this is got to be his trademark sound. Play that sound again! We approve! Then there are some movements that sound like Star Wars’ lightsaber?! Dino the Jedi?! May the force be with you. Weird. And one that I will always associate with one of those sound effects from the retro FPS game, Doom. Otherwise for the 2D animation parts, Dino is pretty much silent and being the simpleton dinosaur he is (like a mime?). You know that his day will be brightened up when you see his always-agape-mouth and incredulous face turns into a bigger always-agape-mouth and happier incredulous face! Yeah, that sure made our day too. When Dino’s happy, we’re also happy.

As for the other human characters, I guess they’re okay and pretty chill to have Dino around. Yeah, everyone doesn’t care about Dino’s background or whatever he is. Dinosaur, monster or alien, it’s fun to have this guy around. Hey, he isn’t any threat, right? Not like he wants to eat you like those mean T-Rex portrayed in Hollywood movies, right? So yeah, I suppose bad evil scientists don’t exist here because I don’t see the government trying to kidnap Dino for their own dark nefarious experiments! Yikes! Don’t want to see that kind of alternate story either. I mean, a blast from the past walking among humans, do you not feel that is the recipe of something worth as a national treasure?! If this was America, Dino might have been sent to Area 51! But thank goodness, the people in this world are so chill to even see an odd dinosaur walking about so they don’t even care. I can see why, since Dino looks like a mascot and in Japanese society where yuru-chara is the norm. Blow that air horn again for approval!

Kaede being a gal, she is trendy but on the other hand is quite a simple person. She’s quite a reasonable person if you can see past her stereotypical gal appearance. Then there is Shouta who is the joker because he still has lingering feelings for Kaede and wants to get back with her. Dino sounds like an excuse and stepping stone for that but I think Dino doesn’t give a hoot about all that. One episode we see Dino’s cringe face in Shouta’s lamest attempt to woo back Kaede! That was so epic and telling. Now I know why Kaede broke up with him in the first place. A strong and independent woman like her doesn’t need a wuss like him! Just Dino will suffice. And maybe her best friend Yamada. Or Nanami.

As I have already touched on the animations style earlier on, I just want to mention Dino’s design. I don’t know, when I first looked at him, I thought he was a cross between Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster and Bloo from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends! Yeah, it’s really weird. I mean, do we even know what dinosaur species Dino is? Yeah, what kind of dinosaur could actually teleport?! The overall feel for the 2D animation is colourful and cute and sometimes it feels that this series is also made for kids in terms of visually. This series is jointly done by Kamikaze Douga (Poputepipikku – now you know where all the weirdness comes from, no?) and Space Neko Company.

For the voice acting, Miyuri Shimabukuro helms Kaede (Nagisa in Hanebado). However her live action version is played by 8467 (pronounced as Nana Yashiro). No wonder they sound different. So are the 2D and 3D versions different alternate timelines? Anyway, I guess 8467 being a model, she would look a lot prettier. I don’t know, Miyuri Shimabukuro doesn’t look all that bad herself, IMHO. Unless she can’t act… As for the suit actor playing Dino in the live action, it is Mizuho Iizuka. Hah. And we all thought some male dude was behind this costume! Surprise! Oh damn, the real person looks even prettier! Unless it’s all Photoshop and Instagram effect! Hopefully I’m wrong. What a waste to put that beauty behind a suit but I guess that’s how it went. Not bad seeing how hard it is for one to move about in such a stuffy and bulky stiff mascot suit.

The rest of the voice casts for the animation are Seiichirou Yamashita as Shouta (Kakeru in Orange), Yuuko Natsuyoshi as Yamada (Himeko in Show By Rock!! Mashumairesh) and Youki Kudou as Nanami (Saya in Blood: The Last Vampire). The opening theme, Kyouryuu Agemizawa by Kyouruu Friends (basically the quartet of Kaede, Yamada, Nanami and Shouta) sounds like a lively denpa song and made even trippier with its mishmash combo of weird animations and montages. But I guess as far as this animation is concern, this song fits the series like a glove. The ending theme is Peaceful Days by Ryuuko Takahashi. Somewhat a slow pop. Rather okay. Animation is a claymation feature of Kaede as a cavewoman? I wonder if this is just cosplay because WTF they’re eating cup noodle ramen and taking selfie from her handphone?! Yeah, nothing beats living in modern times, right?!

Overall, this series is light-heart random fun. Simple and entertaining in its own right despite being also weird and bizarre at the same time. You’re not supposed to think too deeply about stuffs or understand what is going on but enjoy the funny and cute moments it has to offer. It might be a bit messy since it packs and spams all sorts of animation types as well as the short segments in between that even include artwork from various other people may be too messy to digest in a short period of time. But like I said, you’re not supposed to sweat all those details if you really want to enjoy this series. After all, what else more can you expect from a chill blue ancient reptile like Dino? More than just a pet. More than just your best friend. Dino is just Dino, that’s all to it. Yeah, the blast from the past having a blast.

Maoujou De Oyasumi

I have been spending too much of my time watching animes till late at night and into the wee hours of the morning. Oh yeah. Anime is my life. But I still need to get some good night’s rest if I am to continue this great passion of mine. So can an anime about sleeping help? Just kidding. Anyway, Maoujou De Oyasumi is about a princess who has been captured by demons as hostage. With so much time on her hands as a captive, what is the best thing to do? Why, get some shut eye and forty winks! It’s the best way to past the time while the heroes set forth their journey to save her. And when she goes to sleep, I mean, she is going to do all it takes to get that good night beauty sleep of hers. Nobody is going to stop her. Not even the big bad demon captors. Damn, this princess is having better sleep quality than I do!

Episode 1
In a time when humans and demons coexisted peacefully, one day the Demon King abducted the kingdom’s princess, Syalis and demanded the rulers to hand over the lands to him in exchange for her return. With the people in despair, a young hero named Akatsuki became a hero as he mounted a quest to rescue her. But for now, we see Syalis being held hostage in the Demon King’s castle. She is furious she can’t fall asleep fast like in her own castle! She thinks it’s the pillow and decides to make a better one. By killing a couple of cute teddy bear demons?! Nah. Just shave their fur. Because of her good brushing, in exchange they let her out whenever she calls them as they have the key. Hence, Syalis walking around the castle freely looking for items to create her pillow! The security here is sure bad. She upgrades her pillow and falls asleep. When the Demon King learns about this and decides to go talk to her, seeing her in her slumber state, maybe he’ll talk to her tomorrow. When she wakes up, she realizes she has bed marks on her face. Realizing the sheets are of bad quality, you bet she’s going to make some. Thanks to a scissors magician monster, she manages to get some scissors and of course goes around cutting cloaks of other beings to find that best sheet. Yeah, she had to kill some sheet monster for it. The Demon King heard about this again and once more goes to talk to her. Aww… See her sleeping so soundly. Just put it off till tomorrow… Later Syalis realizes the place is too noisy to sleep. So again she goes off herself to find the ultimate bed. She gets lost in the armoury and accidentally activates a wind shield. Its floating mechanism makes a great bed but the shield itself is too heavy. She just needs the ornament. Hence she uses a diamond monster to hit it out!!! And what’s this about the Demon King talking about how powerful but fragile this shield is to fight against the hero? Syalis doesn’t give a f*ck and destroys it! Got what she wanted. On her way back, she slips on a slime and falls into a lava! OMG! She’s dead! Now she can sleep forever! However she is revived by a demon cleric in a demon church! WTF, do such words exist in the same sentence?! At first Syalis is appalled waking up in a coffin. But realizing its potential, she uses the cleric’s horns to make it smoother and the slime to wax it nicely! Then putting her sheets, she tucks in nicely into the coffin. Sound proof! The monsters carry the coffin back to her cell. Time for the Demon King to talk to her again. Oh… Sleeping soundly… Tomorrow then? He is starting to regret abducting the wrong princess because how can one sleep so soundly in his demon castle?!

Episode 2
While the Demon King continues to torment Akatsuki and his men lost in his labyrinth, here we see Syalis trying to climb up to reach the phoenix nest?! It all began when she realized a bug bit her during her sleep. Stupid bugs. This cell has so many open spaces. Need mosquito nets. So she kills the sheet monsters, steals the stamp cat’s boots to walk on the walls and starts climbing up the pole. When the Demon King learns about it, he thinks she is trying to use the egg to help the hero since it has healing properties. Stop her at all costs! When the monster army rushes in to do so, suddenly they get confused when she just ties the string around the top and returns to her room. Yeah, now the mosquito net is ready. And her bug bite got healed by a drop. Now she can sleep in peace. And the monster trooper is demoralized… When the demon council is having a meeting on a sleeping potion, Syalis waltzes in to just take it!!! OMFG! Brutal! Of course they took it back so she wanders off and found a new sleeping place. Poison mushrooms? Dead! The cleric reports this to the Demon King. Looks like he is reviving her at least once a week! Yeah, just last week she got killed by the thunder dragon for trying to use its electricity to heal her sore joints! The cleric even tried to lecture her in valuing her life! When Syalis tries to disguise herself to steal the sleeping potion in the treasury, she is stopped by Great Red Siberian. He has been observing all her violations and now it’s the time to make his move since she made her hundredth. Of course Syalis plays dumb, pissing him off. Back at her cell, he is appalled with all the stuffs she accumulated! How many sheet monsters did she kill?! Oh well, they get revived, right? He confiscates them all and starts lecturing about rules and respecting the ruler but you know, she just got sleepy and falls asleep. Then she realizes his fur is such a nice fluffy place to doze off. And before you know it, she’s sleeping on him! In the end, as Great contemplates to cut his fur to counter Syalis, it looks like the Demon King is VERY against it. DO. NOT. CUT. THEM.

Episode 3
Grimoires are powerful books that demons fear. That’s why they lock it up. But Syalis needs to read a grimoire to fall asleep! And so she sneaks into the library to read one. Super boring! But isn’t that supposed to make her fall asleep? Nope. Yeah, it’s draining her magic health instead… Thinking she needs to read a more powerful one, she accidentally activates all the right combinations of switches to reach the ultimate grimoire. Its spirit, Alazif is grateful and will serve her. So take him and let’s escape this castle. What do you mean she’s not interested?! Not even learning any magic?! When she learns he has a spell to cast everyone in the castle to sleep, she learns it from him. Soon everyone falls asleep. Except herself. Yeah, it would be redundant if the caster falls asleep, right? Syalis is so frustrated but eventually she gets her sleep using the grimoire as her pillow. Yeah… Next time, because of that bad sleeping posture, she needs to press her pressure points to sleep better. She tries to find monsters who can do that. Keeping in mind what Great said about making a ruckus, she tries to be a little discreet. Yup, she tells the monsters to touch her! OMFG! Monsters run away, leaving Syalis confused. She even sees the cleric and he too faints! What’s wrong with these monsters? Finally she stumbles into the Demon King. She takes him by his hand and leads him to her bed. Please touch me here. Demon King thinks this is some opportunity and starts pressing. She falls asleep instantly. Nothing else happens. But his subordinates saw everything. Pervert… Syalis wakes up realizing she has been lacking sunlight ever since she got here. Noticing the distant enchanted forest has some light, she makes her way there. Yeah, the demons are so sure she can’t escape but with all the items in her room, she makes it there! Worse, the Demon King realizes that is where he kept his most powerful weapon. This sword is the light source it seems. Could it be Syalis wants to steal it and rendezvous with the hero? Get her back! By the time the monsters arrive and before they could start planning, Syalis walks back to her cell with the sword. Man, everybody so confused. She uses the sword as a mini night lamp to sleep and morning sunrise. Good sword. And everybody still so confused…

Episode 4
Syalis is complaining her bathtub is too small! She hits it until it breaks! Needing a bigger bathtub in her cell to sleep in while she bathes, she waltzes straight into the demons’ communal bathing area! Oh sh*t! She hijacks the pipe all the way back to her cell! But she has no tub. Oh, this dangerous inflammable rocket turtle is passing by… She lights its fuse… KABOOM! Now she has the shell as a huge tub and free flowing hot water! Now she can comfortably sleep! With the scorching summer, it is so hot and you’ve guessed it, Syalis complaining there is no air-cond. She learns there are ice golems outside protesting against the magma denizens and demanding for cooler temperatures. Hence she is going to the ice area to get some ice back. But knowing it is too cold to carry back, she kills a tyre golem to wear it as insulation! As she enters the ice area, the ice demons mistake her for their captain and take her to the stage to plan their uprising against the magma counterparts. Since they will do anything, Syalis has them do stuffs that would turn her cell into a cool igloo. Yeah, whatever stupid reasons those demons think of, she’ll go with it! Heck, Syalis even kills the real captain when he is coming in! Lastly, she tells them to obey the princess. But why? Because in actually she is going to be the next Demon King! OMFG! LIES!!! And so those stupid ice demons turn her cell into an igloo so she can sleep comfortably… Syalis accidentally uses an item that shrinks her to baby size. As she finds it hard to return to her cell to sleep. She tricks the nearby monsters to carry her back. It could have been the best plan but other monsters feel they want to touch and hold a human baby! This would prove troublesome so Syalis tears out the porcupine demon’s spikes and throw it to those who dare to touch her! Before she could go back to her cell, here comes the ‘floor bosses’ of the Demon King, Great and the cleric. Mission ends… Then everyone starts cuddling and touching her. But this has a surprising effect since it makes her tired and sleep. Oh well. She’ll make do. And everybody please be quiet… Don’t wake up the cute sleeping baby, okay… Shhh!

Episode 5
With the female demon unit returning from battle, the monsters think Syalis won’t be alone anymore. Oh yeah? She’s thinking of finding a great comforter to sleep with. Harpy wants to be friends with Syalis but it seems the latter totally ignores her. Until she really makes it clear her intention, Syalis is only attracted because of her feathers! Oh dear… Can’t pluck it off. It’ll ruin the nice feathers. Hence Syalis wants to be her friend only because to use her feathers as comforter. Yeah, this pyjamas party sucks… And later Syalis has the gall to blame the small bed for not sleeping well! Isn’t it her sleeping posture? Harpy is in a dilemma to reveal the castle’s darkest secret and be her friend. With Syalis looking more and more disappointed, Harpy eventually reveals the castle’s top that contains magic clouds. Cool. How will they get there? Harpy will fly her up there! Oh sh*t. I don’t know how but they did it. It’s a good thing her legs are still intact. Syalis loves the soft clouds and starts falling asleep. At this point Harpy wonders if she is only being used and Syalis never intended to be her friend. But what’s this? Syalis cutting up a huge chunk of the clouds? But why? So that they could sleep together! Oh man, that seals the deal. We’re best friends! Yeah. Now fly both Syalis and the huge cloud back down to her cell. Thankfully, her legs are still intact… And they both have the best sleep ever. Next day when Harpy says she will come here on a daily basis, Syalis returns the cloud to the Demon King! Solitude > friendship. The Demon King and his council members discuss the hero’s progress. But WTF is Syalis doing in this meeting blowing her vuvuzela?! Apparently she’s bored and she won’t sleep well if she’s bored. Great kicks her out and it is obvious that she has that very sad look on her face. Don’t. Be. Fooled. Except for Neo Alraune who pities Syalis for being abducted and confined all alone. Time to show her Syalis’ true nature. They show a camera surveillance of what Syalis is doing now. She is cutting down a tree who is Alraune’s brother. Damn, she’s sawing him like nobody’s business! Noticed how the tree is getting smaller and smaller? What do you think of Syalis now, Alraune? Eventually Syalis cuts him down just to make a log bed. Brother doesn’t feel pain? Syalis being eco-friendly? Any more excuses? Yeah, Syalis throws away all the other logs just for 1 lousy log she wants. Then she returns to sleep on her bed. You convinced now, Alraune? Looks like an apology is due…

Episode 6
Syalis accidentally spills drink on her comforter. Needing a clean one so she can sleep peacefully, you bet she is going to find a way to rid the stain. Meanwhile the Demon King summons his council to discuss the hero getting lost and wounded. At this rate he won’t reach the castle and it will be pointless because his goal is to let the hero level up so he could defeat him. That is when his subordinates tell of some great fountain to heal his wounds as well as some magnetic spear to lead him here. Then there’ll be some giant robot he will face and meet his ultimate defeat. And you’ve pretty much guessed it, Syalis stumbles into the fountain, uses it to wash the comforter, takes the spear as its holder and then hook it up to the robot to dry. The robot malfunctions and spins! Spin dry action! Explode! But her comforter is so clean! The Demon King and his men go see this only to see destruction and Syalis sleeping soundly in the midst of all the destruction. WTF just happened… Subsequently Syalis is punished… No juice for a week?! That’s it?! With the cold wind of autumn and winter here, Syalis needs to make warm woollen pantsu to keep her lower half warm. Because she remembers mother’s words not to say that embarrassing word, hence she tries all sorts of communications when other demons ask her. Of course this means they misinterpret her words. In the end, they think she is going to sever demon heads as a sacrifice to communicate with the cosmos that will make a weapon to destroy this castle in 2 seconds! As they try to find the Demon King, Syalis has completed her pantsu and accidentally unveils a secret weapon the Demon King has made for the hero. It is a hideous giant puppet of Syalis? So this would somehow lead the hero here? Other demons see it and get scared, thinking this is the weapon Syalis made. It is no wonder everyone that night is in uproar, rallying to fight back against the princess! But she’s sleeping so soundly in her cell… When the Demon King is overworked, he collapses right outside Syalis’ cell. She learns if he dies, the castle crumbles. This means her nice bed will also be destroyed! She is going to put him to sleep like singing a lullaby. Is she singing a curse?! Other various forms that would’ve put her to bed didn’t work. She thinks as a Demon King, more extreme measures are needed. From zapping him with the thunder dragon to dropping him from the highest point and forcing him to drink poison, ARE YOU SURE SHE ISN’T TRYING TO KILL HIM?! Then she remembers one of mother’s methods: Patting one’s head. She does so and the Demon King soon falls asleep. She too shortly after. Should they be sleeping buddies?

Episode 7
The kidnapped princess gets kidnapped! From the kidnapped letter, it is from Hades who was the previous Demon King and he intends to use Syalis to defeat the hero and reclaim his throne again. Of course all Syalis needs to do as usual is to sleep but the pillow is so damn hard! Oh well. Time to go make a nicer one. The Kerberos triplets start taunting her but she throws a bomb and threatens for materials! As Hades contacts the Demon King and dares his team to come steal Syalis back if they dare, everyone sees Syalis sneaking up behind Hades and trying to tear his robe for her materials! Damn, they’re rooting for her until she is successful! Hades doesn’t even suspect a thing! And Syalis returns with a nice pillow to sleep on. Later, she realizes her room is a dump and needs to find a better place to sleep. While wandering around the castle, she stumbles into Suima who is researching on sleeping methods. You bet she wants to learn from this sleeping master! He talks about using some trap plates to turn into fuzzy fur. Syalis learns fast and destroys all the traps around it to create her own sleeping plate! OMG. This princess is talented! Now she can sleep anywhere! As the Demon King and his council mount a rescue mission, so they’re going to bring along all the nice comfy stuffs to lure Syalis back? Well, okay. So they barge into Hades’ castle like madmen and Hades thinks they are scared of him when in actual fact they are frantically trying to call out to Syalis to return to them. Meanwhile Syalis is going around the castle, destroying stuffs and stealing them as her sleeping materials. The Demon King and his men face off with Hades. But before the fight could start, they see Syalis flying away. Looks like there is no better sleeping place than the Demon King’s. Hence everyone abandons their fight with Hades to go chase Syalis. Yeah, it makes their goal of coming all the way here redundant. Now they have to follow her all the way back. And since it’s a long journey home, this is a good moment for Syalis to fall asleep. And it’s so good to be ‘home’ once again because more comfy sleeping as always.

Episode 8
One of Akatsuki’s comrades uses a rare spell to open a portal to where Syalis is. However only a hand can fit through. Thus as Syalis sleeps, Akatsuki’s hand keeps poking her head!!! The spell wears off so they think they have to get closer to the castle to cast it again. So while the Demon King is having a meeting with his council that the hero is nearing them, Syalis waltzes into the meeting and won’t leave until they hear about her nightmare! Apparently she dreams of her childhood friend who is no other than Akatsuki. Unfortunately she doesn’t remember much about this guy and only has bad memories. It isn’t that Akatsuki is a bad person, she often bore the brunt of his clumsiness. But all those accidents weren’t the nightmarish part. It is actually when she was told Akatsuki would be her fiancé! Imagine all the demons are shocked! With Syalis getting this off her chest, she can now sleep peacefully. While Akatsuki and his team face off with Fire Venom Dragon at the volcano, looks like Syalis has a cavity! Yeah, she’s acting like she’s going to die. They bring her to the cursed dentist but she puts up a struggle in not wanting to be operated on. Because of this, rumours spread fast that she might be terminally ill and will explode when dies?! Yeah, everybody now watching this big operation. It seems Syalis insists in not wanting them to peek in her mouth. Except for teddy. How the f*ck are they going to extract her tooth?! Don’t know how but it lasted 8 hours. Finally got it out. So tiring. It is revealed that she is shy about her shorter than average tongue, the reason she doesn’t want others peeking into it. So tired that she falls asleep. Then they realize they should’ve just operated on her while sleeping! CURSES!!! After 3 days, Fire Venom Dragon lost and although he survived, his powers are sealed. But how did he lose when he was given tons of special items? It seems they were all swapped out! While it may sound premature to blame it all on Syalis, slowly the rest realize they were the ones at fault for accidentally swapping it or misplacing the item! Oh sh*t. Better pin the blame on Syalis anyway. Fire Venom Demon is so mad and wants to confront her but the liars try to hold him back. Let’s accept our loss today, okay? And Syalis remains sound asleep…

Episode 9
Syalis watching a human shopping channel? They can receive such channel? Anyway, it advertises a cool waterbed! You bet she wants it. She makes a call. Only… They can’t delivery because they don’t know where the demon castle is! She breaks the phone! Oh sh*t! Her only choice is to make it herself. Meanwhile, the Demon King and his council members are discussing about Syalis’ reign of freedom. They decide to train her to be a hostage and by that they mean ignoring her. All goes well as Syalis is puzzled of their ignorance as she roams around as usual. However because they don’t want to hurt her, they still go along with her! Yeah, Syalis putting them on her leash and taking them for a walk?! So when the demons argue among themselves and Syalis overheard them ignoring her, they spot tears in her eyes! Actually she was just yawning. Hence they offer whatever she wants as she completes her waterbed. Syalis’ mission success! Demons’ mission failed! Desperate times calls for desperate measures as the Demon King seeks Hades’ suggestion. He suggests putting her to work since she has too much freedom. Hence they give her a month’s worth of paperwork. However Syalis is not distraught. In fact this was the norm back home. So she rolls up her sleeve and starts doing it. Because a princess can’t sleep if she can’t finish her work! Damn, is her normal life this dark? This has the other demons in shock as they start pitying her and even want to help out. You mean this report of researching the best demon skin? BETTER NOT! She finally finishes and all that hard work makes her sleep even more worth it. And the Demon King and the rest are still in shock. Though, the work quality is still questionable… When human bandits are caught, the Demon King thinks of putting them in his castle’s prison to show Syalis what it’s like to be a proper hostage. So they let Syalis see the fearful humans living and paltry conditions of the dungeon. Note, that she is different because she gets special treatment. Otherwise this is the norm. Yeah, Syalis looking so shocked. So when they tell her to act like a proper hostage, at first the bad acting was still enough to hurt the demons (human hostages as observe fear demons and tell them to go away). Then as she gets real good in it, this actually mentally hurts the Demon King and his council members! In the end, they prefer to return to normal so Syalis thinks her acting as a hostage was correct that they want her to act as normal again. Yeah, she’s going to show them her uninhibited hostage life by sleeping! Next time Syalis is reprimanded for whatever wrongdoing, she uses this hostage act to her advantage. Is this a successful failure for the demons?

Episode 10
As expected, there is something Syalis wants. However this item is only available in the human world. And so she breaks out from the castle! Demon King thinks she’ll be back. But when a message she left says she’ll be heading to the human world, time to press the panic button. Everyone capture the princess! Oh damn, Syalis can traverse the dangerous lands with ease and is a fast runner! In the end, a simple bed trap actually captures her. Bringing her back, they learn that she saw from the human shopping channel a special massaging pillow she wants. Demon King lectures her (concerned for her?) and how demons and humans are enemies. So Syalis suggests coming to the human world with her. That’ll be alright, right? Because she knows they’re all good people. Damn, having a change of heart now? Then it’s decided. We’ll go tomorrow since there’ll be a sale and she’s not going to miss it. Damn… And so Syalis heads back to her own kingdom with Demon King, Great and the cleric. Yeah, their disguise, is it Halloween time? Looks like the place is lively. Is it carnival time. With the pillow on sale, there is a long queue to it. Better start lining up. After 4 hours into it, looks like the Demon King queued in the wrong line. Up to you noobs now. When it is Syalis’ turn, she is fast asleep! OMG. How are they going to get the money?! Not sure how but they did. They thought of resting up before heading back but they are broke. Then night falls, it is the fireworks display. The queue the Demon King lined up for was actually VIP seats for the fireworks. Syalis has them enjoy the food and show. Also, she wants to test the new pillow! Of course she can’t sleep with all the fireworks noise. Syalis points out to all the mean demon slaughtering symbols the fireworks make. She even suggests the demons should make one to kill humans! But Demon King is reluctant because the conflict wouldn’t end. Humans and demons will always fight each other. The demons then realize perhaps Syalis was trying to stall because she just returned home. Surprisingly, Syalis says to return home. Yeah, no place like home? And so all of them teleport home with Syalis fast asleep on her pillow. It’s vibrating so hope they don’t chant the wrong spell. Later Syalis gives the pillow to the teddies since they’ve been lining up for days to use it, rendering all their effort futile…

Episode 11
Harpy invites Syalis to a pyjamas party. You bet she wants to attend so she can sleep through it! Uhm… I don’t think that’s how a pyjamas party work… Anyway, she lacks knowing anything else about is. So she goes to sleep with the Demon King as practice! Oh sh*t! She also makes him research about it and one of them being talking about love. So when she asks him about demons and humans in love, the cleric just walks right in to hear this. He misinterprets the whole situation and tries to kill the Demon King?! Syalis realizes the pyjamas party needs liveliness. Then she falls asleep… However it gets too noisy so she realizes it is not for her. Hence she rejects Harpy’s invitation! So sad… Sakkyun the succubus tries to have fun with others but is largely ignored. But when is mistaken for looking closely like Syalis, she realizes she needs to be like the princess so she can be famous like her. Hence she goes to learn from her to boost her appeal. Of course Syalis misinterprets this and thinks she wants to be her body double! The start of misunderstandings… Since Sakkyun is such a dumb girl, she doesn’t understand why Syalis gives her Spartan training to be strong. Scary. From breaking out of the cell to stealing ingredients, are you sure this is the way to become popular?! Finally, the last lesson must have her not afraid of death! Oh sh*t! Syalis going to push her into the lava! Don’t kill me! A struggle ensues and so happen Syalis is the one who falls in. Yeah. There is nothing more she can teach you. Of course Syalis revives but now Sakkyun finds herself running away from Syalis who has taken a liking for her body double. This isn’t the kind of popularity she’s talking about! Syalis walks into an important meeting just to say she couldn’t sleep well for the past few days and wants them to find out why! WTF?! Who the hell she thinks she is?! Oh, she’s asleep. But it looks like she is having nightmares. They have Suima diagnose her situation and it looks like somebody is using a spell to enter her dreams. They peek into her dreams and see Akatsuki chasing her down! Oh sh*t! The hero?! Syalis doesn’t like him and tries many times to kill him but Akatsuki always comes back laughing like an idiot, thinking she is playing it rough! Finally the demons connect the dots: Akatsuki is Syalis’ fiancé! They then realize Akatsuki has that spell because Syalis were signing her autographs on those magic paper for the teddies. One of them ended up in Demon King’s hands and when he went to warn Akatsuki, it must have fell off. So they manage to collect back all the magic paper. Now she is sleeping easier. Phew. As apology, they leave her a cake to eat when she wakes up.

Episode 12
Syalis writes a letter to Santa. Of course the Demon King will not allow her wish to come true as he secretly reads her letter: She wants to go home. Oh sh*t. Is she homesick? Emergency meeting! As they try to discuss this, Syalis barges in because her letter is missing! Pretend to not know! Eventually it is revealed she wants to return home to get a pair of woollen panties so she can sleep comfortably. So after weighing in the pros and cons, I guess it is better to go and get it. But they’ll just go and come back straight, okay! The Demon King and the cleric only accompany Syalis as they sneak back into the kingdom. Yeah, Syalis getting distracted with her room and then finally falling asleep on her own bed! So comfy… Oh no. Looks like her mom, Aurora the queen thought she is back and goes to check. Quick hide! Oh, look at her cute Syalis sleeping so cutely. Actually it’s Sakkyun! How in the hell?! She thinks it’s her daughter and whisks her away to her room! Oh sh*t! I can safely say it runs in the family… Of course they have to rescue Sakkyun because if they find out she is not the real princess, they will execute her and she cannot be resurrected. So Syalis’ plan is to change and walk around the palace? Hey, it’s her own home. But they have to hide from paladin knights who have sensed intruders breaking into their magic barrier. They disguise themselves in an armour as they stumble into the captain of the paladins, Myoujou. It seems Myoujou starts telling embarrassing stories of young Syalis! Syalis wants to kill him but the demons are forced to restrain her. What’s this about Syalis pretending to be a cute magical girl? Aww, how sweet. And there’s one time she asked what a good kiss mean? Myoujou told her it’s when she’ll be a fine woman but Akatsuki ruined it for her because he knows about her short tongue! Oh damn! Syalis cannot stand it anymore and breaks out. At that time, Myoujou sees the demons and goes after them. However Syalis knows his weakness. Once daylight comes, he falls asleep! End of chase.

However time is running out as they still have to save Sakkyun as the entire kingdom has announced her return. Syalis this time promises she will take responsibility and return things to how they were. Sakkyun is before the crowd and needs to deliver a speech over a live broadcast over the world! Oh sh*t. Damn humans can’t tell their princess but the demons can?! And Akatsuki just came back from a hard mission and sees this. What the?! Suddenly all the guards in the palace are rendered immobile. The Demon King and the cleric cast a spell on them. Syalis then adlibs for Sakkyun. She addresses the crowd as well as her realization of her duties as a princess. She is hinting of all the times she spent at the Demon King’s castle and wants to use this as a model for both humans and demons to live alongside each other. Syalis then pretends to be the Demon King and in her lame acting, kidnaps Sakkyun. Yeah, stupid humans can’t tell the difference but the demons sure can. The demons then whisk away and Aurora seems to allow this because she knows her daughter is having fun! Oh man, I think Aurora isn’t dumb and knows Syalis is pretending to be the Demon King. When they return, all the demons are so relieved and they even throw a lavish Christmas party. What the hell, they played bingo???!!! But the most important of all, they forgot to take the woollen panties!!! Oh, that trip… But Syalis has woven cute underwear for the teddies. Now it is time for her much deserved sleep. Goodnight. ZZZzzz…

Let Sleeping Princesses Lie…
Oh well. There is no place like home… Which is it?! For Syalis, I guess it is safe to say that both her human kingdom as well as the Demon King’s castle are places that she can call home. Because those are the places where she can sleep comfortably. Oh heck, a princess like her can just fall asleep anytime and anywhere so long as the conditions are sight. So seeing how everything has happened so far, don’t worry everybody, your princess isn’t going anywhere. Take your time to come up with a formidable plan to rescue her and sleep on it. And even if that can’t happen, don’t worry too. Everybody is having so much fun, right? Wow. Before we knew it, humans and demons somewhat getting along with each other already! Yeah, in your dreams!

I don’t know how they can pull off so many interesting stories revolving around a princess who just wants to sleep, but they did it. Everything has to defy logic and common sense for it all to work (or fail so epic, depending on your perspective) that wouldn’t have fly in any other normal circumstances. Of course as we have seen, it is all for good laughs and they’ve done it right. Everybody here is a bunch of incompetent idiots, do you not agree with me! Take for instance the denizens of the Demon King’s castle. Syalis is already a hostage and I don’t know where in the world it says that hostages need to be treated with utmost care. Because it is so evident that Syalis can walk in and out of her cell like as though the entire Demon King’s castle is some huge hotel complex! I mean, HOW?! JUST HOW???!!! Like as though they don’t really intend of making her as a hostage in the first place. You can say that they’ve grown so accustomed and fond of Syalis that they’re glad to have her around. Welcome back, Syalis. We’ll be glad if you could stay here like, forever. Not that she would mind if the sleep is good.

On the other hand, we have the heroes mounting a rescue party. I know it’s a long journey but do you not think there should be more than just Akatsuki and a couple of followers?! Do the kingdom not care about their princess?! I understand it’s a long journey to the demon world but seeing that they keep failing and struggling, makes you wonder if they’re even capable. And they’re supposed to be the kingdom’s best. In the meantime, no worries for Syalis. She’s living the hotel life with utmost care in the Demon King’s hotel plaza. No room service? She’ll make it herself! So yeah, Syalis doesn’t need a knight in shining armour. Just her sleep. If Syalis ever intends to take up her sleeping hobby as a profession later in life, she could become a sleep master, offering advice and consultancy services on the best ways to sleep. She went through all that experience personally, you know.

Do you not agree with me that the most badass and powerful character of them all is Syalis herself? Despite her hostage status, she acts like the boss and it’s as though the entire castle is like her playground or home. Oh yeah. Feel free to make this place your home. Mind if I do. So as part of the hilarious and ridiculous formula of Syalis trying to find better ways to sleep, she is somewhat able to go about in her ways, destroying anything that stands in her way, taking anything she wants from anywhere just to accomplish her goals.

Firstly, the security in the Demon King’s castle is so lax that enables her to walk around anywhere. So much so it becomes the new normal to see the princess walking about. Even if she breaks out of her cell, they don’t even try to reinforce or do something to restrain her and just give her a slap on the wrist if anything wrong happens after that. Hence Syalis keeps repeating the act of breaking out from her imprisonment since there are no worries of punishment whatsoever. Secondly, Syalis may be the true Demon King herself because of her immense strength and will to just get a good night’s rest. You see the way she uses her brute force and raw strength in bulldozing her way through all the walls and obstacles like as though she’s on forever cheat code mode! I don’t even think God is that powerful!!! OMFG!!! Coupled in with everyone being such dumb idiots, hence Syalis always gets her way no matter what. And it is always so only because they allow it. Enough said.

If I should say, Syalis could be even worse than the Demon King himself or even Satan (if he ever exists in this anime’s setting) because as we have seen, nothing will get in her way of her beauty sleep. Each time you see her scheming on a sleeping quest, sometimes you see her ‘evil face’. Yup, pretty much scarier than the scariest demons ever! Thank goodness all she wants is just to snooze. That’s it. Because if she had more ambitions than that, she’ll whoop everyone’s ass and take over or destroy the entire world! Oh damn. Syalis is the most dangerous character out there. Therefore I am not sure if the demon denizens are well aware of this and that is why they leave her to her device. In the process, she screws up all their secret weapons and items but I suppose that is the mini prize to pay to turn her into a real demon who goes berserk because she misses her sleep. Yup. I guess we all can agree on that. She’s at her best and most ‘productive’ when she’s asleep. Aww… How cute. Look at her sleep so peacefully like that…

However Syalis isn’t just a useless character who just knows how to sleep. In fact, she is quite an innovative and creative person! It is evident as we have seen the lengths she has gone to create equipment after equipment just to get that nice sleep. Hence it is not wrong to say that Syalis has earned her keep to sleep! She worked hard for it! Even though that means steamrolling through all the hapless demons and taking their belongings without permission. Hey, you have got to be tough and stand your ground when you need to get something done! Hence all in all, Syalis is not even near being a damsel in distress. Heck, such a powerful character that by this time we realize she can even go back to her own kingdom if she actually wanted! Which she did once! Which brings me to the thought that since the Demon King’s castle offers better sleeping tools than her own kingdom, is this the reason why she doesn’t even try to return?! Holy sh*t! Syalis forever staying in the demon world?! Demons providing better sleeping care than humans?! This is so mind blowing!

On a trivial note, when I first read the title, I was under the impression that the princess is of the demon race. You know, Maou and Oujou. So I thought it was a pun. Then it turns out to be Maoujou when I take a closer look at the kanji writing, it means demon castle. Hence before I started watching this anime, I was under the impression that the main character was a demon princess who just wants to sleep wherever she goes. Oh well, that confusion cleared up when I watched the first episode. No sleepless nights for me on that. No siree.

The rest of the bunch of idiots characters, it’s really hard to hate them because they’re so dumb for the sake of this series, they’re so lovable. The same kind of sentiments for Syalis. Can’t hate her for being selfish because she’s all too cute and adorable trying to get her sleep. In fact, all the demons here aren’t as bad as you think. They’re actually pretty nice guys for the most part. Makes you wonder if humans make the worst demons themselves. But it’s not fair to judge something that we don’t entirely see for this series.

So for the Demon King, he’s really trying hard to be one and it feels like sometimes it is his dumb luck that has him managing to go through it all. He is as incompetent as the rest of his council or demon subordinates only because he is such a nice guy! Thanks to the comedic nature of this series, you don’t see him mistreating the princess who is now the eternal guest of his castle. Like I said, even he has thoughts about wanting to end this silly war between humans and demons. Can we just all get along and sleep with each other?! Maybe one day. One day. I guess I can say the same for the rest of his subordinates like the cleric, Great and Alraune since they are forced to put up with Syalis’ shenanigans but are also somewhat her supporter. You do realize that they cheer for her in the back when she’s facing the odds herself, right? A curse or a blessing, other demon denizens aren’t so lucky as they get more abused by Syalis especially that shroud ghost monster who gets ‘killed’ off every time he comes back.

There are many other minor demon denizens living in the dominion of the Demon King’s castle. It’s like a big melting pot of all forms of creatures but too bad some of them aren’t as prominent and forgettable while others are like running jokes (that shroud monster again) and others as minor comic relief characters (isn’t that Frankenstein character always making some sort of comeback jokes?). Some mid-intermissions show more details about certain characters but do we really want to read all that? All the boring details are making me sleepy… A majority of the demons are males so it is very rare to see female monsters, in a way their cameo appearances feel a bit refreshing. Especially Harpy and Sakkyun who just wants to be friends with Syalis because I guess there aren’t many female friends to have friends with. And what’s this about that Hades guy who keeps obsessing about fighting the Demon King just to take his throne? Just ignore him…

Last and not least, Akatsuki himself. Yeah, this guy is seen trying so hard to come to Syalis’ rescue. I can see why Syalis dislikes him because of his stubborn tenacity. This guy is the fuel of her nightmares! Perhaps that is why she can sleep easy in the Demon King’s castle because she is away from all that annoyance. Man, it will be one big dilemma once Akatsuki arrives to save her only for Syalis to reject him because she wants to stay with the Demon King and the rest. He’s taken so long, she and the demons have become family now! What is Akatsuki going to say when he comes home empty handed without the princess? Will a full scale war blow out between humans and demons? More importantly, when that happens, will Syalis get her beauty sleep?! Oh no! It’s making me having sleepless nights! And I recently found out about this that the Demon King’s real name is Tasogare. So Akatsuki vs Tasogare is literally dawn/daybreak vs dusk/twilight and hence their showdown is inevitable. Oh dear. Here comes the sleepless nights…

Art and animation are pretty good and cute! Everyone is so cute looking that even the scariest demons don’t look particularly scary at all. Yeah, everything is so colourful even if the Demon King’s castle is such a dark place, but it is filled with lots of colourful and cute things. This anime being done by Doga Kobo, I wonder if this series is this season’s cute girls doing cute things but sleeping version. After all, Doga Kobo is the masters of animating such genre like YuruYuri, New Game, Gabriel Dropout, Himouto! Umaru-chan, Koisuru Asteroid, Anima Yell, Houkago teibou Nisshi, Watashi Ni Tenshi Ga Maiorita, Uchi No Maid Ga Uzasugiru, Sansha Sanyou and GJ-Bu. So if you see all the cute trademarks in the characters, you know why. The cutest being those teddy demons! Oh sh*t! I want to hug and get me some of those plain but cute Care Bear demons!!! And of course Syalis herself, she looks weird because like I’ve said, she has this evil look to her face. Must be those eyes. Whether she wants to sleep or doesn’t get enough sleep, perhaps that’s the main factor in making others think twice about bringing trouble to her. And Sakkyun looks like a goth lolita version of Syalis… Body double sure came in handy…

Voice acting, amazingly there are a few great seiyuu veterans lending their talents here. Like Yotshitsugu Matsuoka as the Demon King, Sayaka Ohara as Alraune, Miki Shinichiro as Suima, Junichi Suwabe as the scissors magician and Rikiya Koyama as the porcupine demon, Hiro Shimono as Akatsuki, Ayane Sakura as Alazif, Aoi Yuuki and Tomokazu Sugita as the pair of hosts for the human shopping channel and Saori Hayami as the narrator who is also Syalis’ mother the queen. Inori Minase as Syalis (Hestia in DanMachi, Chino in Gochuumon Wa Usagi Desu Ka) isn’t too bad too. Her sleepy demeanour fits her character very well. Other casts are Chikahiro Kobayashi as Great (Sugimoto in Golden Kamuy), Kaito Ishikawa as the cleric (Iida in Boku No Hero Academia), Ayaka Ohara as Harpy (Momoka in Sabagebu), Kishou Taniyama as Hades (Jean in Shingeki No Kyojin) and Ari Ozawa as Sakkyun (Tsuguha in Noragami). There are many more other minor casts for all the other minor demons in the castle but I guess I’m too lazy and I’m just going to skip over them.

Now, if you think the opening theme is going to be a sleepy song worthy to be a lullaby that puts a baby to sleep, think again. Kaimin! Anmin! Syalis Seikatsu sung by the queen of sleeping herself, is in fact quite an interesting song to hear. It’s got this mix of cheeky and dramatic feel to it and overall it isn’t a bad song. The same can be said for the ending theme, Gimmme by Oresama. It’s quite hip and funky in its own right but sounds a bit like a mini dubstep song. Also not to mention cute. I mean, can’t have you falling asleep while hearing these songs, right?

Overall, this series is quite fun and funny. A series about trying to get the best ways to sleep but instead have its audience especially yours truly fully awake and entertained, it sure did its job right. The irony of how bad and especially boring animes can actually put you to sleep or make you feel sleepy, almost a cure for insomnia. It is one of the better animes of the season with comedy gold material especially about something that all of us needs. Fun and silly stories with equally fun and silly characters as well as very cute and colourful visuals sure make this series better than the need for a bedtime story. So satisfying, now I can go to sleep without any worries. This anime sure made my day. And night. If only I can go to sleep because I can’t stop thinking how hilarious this anime is…

Suddenly in 3am… My mind is alerted wondering this anime will have another season… FFFUUUU!!! ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ…

Black Clover part 2

Woah! Hold on a minute! It has been barely been a year and I decided to watch Black Clover again? From my last blog of this anime, I said that I wanted to lay off the series for a while since I’m not sure when this is going to really end. You know, let it accumulate some episodes first before I start my binge watching of the show again. That would’ve been the plan except that I found out (curse this curiosity of mine!) that the part where I left off, it has been a continuous affair of filler episodes! OMG! WTF?! Is this going to be like Naruto?! Because of that, I decided to do a little mini binge watching to see how far these filler episodes could go. Oh boy…

Welcome to the fillers…
Meet the Agrippas – Gordon returns home to his family so he could learn his family curses to help Asta. So yeah, all of them look alike and they could give the Adams family a run for their money. Halloween came early…

Untimely death – Noelle learns from Nozel that their mother’s death was not due to Noelle’s birth. There is an unspeakable curse for anyone who brings up this topic, the reason Nozel never told this to his siblings. Hence with his advice, Noelle talks to Dorothy in her dream world where the curse doesn’t reach. Apparently a devil named Megicula is the one responsible for Acier’s death and the nature of that curse would befall on those who speak of it.

Take a hearty trip – Learning that there is a huge curse source in the Heart Kingdom, Asta along with Noelle, Mimosa and Finral take a trip there. Wow. Such a beautiful magical place that coexists with nature. Until shortly upon arrival Asta is kidnapped to face off with the water spirit, Undine while the rest being shown the difference of their magic system while fighting against the spirit guardian named Gaja. Of course it’s all just to test them.

Queen Loropechika – The queen of Heart Kingdom. She has been cursed by Megicula for about a year. Hence she seeks Clover Kingdom’s help to defeat the said demon who is believed to be residing in the Spade Kingdom and controlling its citizens.

Arcane stage – The Heart Kingdom ranks magic from 1 to 9 with 1 being the highest and 9 the lowest. Being the best of the best is zero. So what can even top and go beyond that special S-class? Arcane stage. Yeah, that’s you, Asta. The reason Loropechika believes they have a chance to defeat Megicula because you need to be minimum stage 1 to at least have a chance of defeating a demon like that.

See you in 6 months – Apparently Loropechika’s curse means she has only about a year to live. Hence they need to get stronger in 6 months to invade Spade Kingdom. Okay then. Everybody start training to reach at least Magic Knight vice captain level!

Crushed diamond – Oh, what’s this? A lone guy from Spade Kingdom just crushed an army of the Diamond Kingdom? And Spade Kingdom has now invaded Diamond Kingdom? Oh well, we never cared much about those jerks anyway. Do we?

Rill feel – Rill spacing out ever since because he is in love with Charmy?! At least her mature version.

Riches to rags – Gueldre has been caught pillaging treasures from the Shadow Palace. Julius will pardon him if he uses all of those treasures to help rebuild Clover Kingdom. It’s not like he can say no, right?

Pay cut – In addition to help rebuild the nation, Julius proposes the Magic Knight captains take a pay cut of half their salary. Only Yami and Jack protest. Too bad majority wins. Don’t you just love democracy?

Hage Village revisited, again – Asta and Yuno take a trip back to Hage. Now a little local magic school has been built so our motivated young ones can learn magic and be like their idols like them.

Hotspring training revisited – Mereoleona whisks some of our Black Bull members to train with her Crimson Lion counterparts. However this time they won’t be running up the volcano but underneath it. This time there is a mutant spider that dwells and hides in a hidden dungeon and it is no ordinary spider since it is corrupted by some magic item. After defeating the spider and its golems, a room filled with treasures awaits them as well as an even better hotspring relaxation.

Life of the party – The Vermillion siblings hold an anniversary celebration for Theresa’s 15 years of nunnery. She is also Fuegoleon and Mereoleona’s teacher. Aside from the nice food and party tricks do, the siblings end up fighting due to embarrassing stuffs brought up from the past. And only Theresa could put her foot down and stop the entire mansion from being burnt down. Always forever their teacher.

Mixer revisited – In order for Finral to get over his ‘curse’ of flirting with just any hot chick, hence this ‘training’ of holding a mixer! What logic is that you ask? Well, this guy is trying to resist the temptation of flirting by doing everything the opposite. Yeah, how is he going to hold it in when 1 of them actually starts liking him! RESIST!!! And Noelle the worrywart waitress once more. Doesn’t it feel like a repeat of last time? Oh, on the other side, there’s Charlotte and Yami’s mixer too. Can Charlotte finally get close to dense Yami? As expected everything goes haywire and nothing really gets resolved. Oh well. At least the food is good.

Underwater temple revisited – Sorry to interrupt your seaside training, but looks like there’s trouble in the underwater temple. Due to mana disturbances, some sea creatures have become violent. Kahono and Kiato plan to head to the deepest void of the sea to sing and dance to calm the guardian of the sea. I guess this is to help showcase and focus on Noelle and Finral’s growth so yeah, fight through a bunch of fishmen and even the Kraken to reach the big whale guardian. Turns out it is pregnant and just gave birth. Hence all the sea creatures were just trying to protect it.

You are what eats you – Charmy needs to cook food that increases her comrades’ mana. So she goes on the usual impossible chef training. She returns to make food that turns into monsters and wants to eat you! Oh well, the only way you can defeat this is to eat it! Every single last bit! Eventually, it is not mana that she needs to put into her cooking but the smiles and happiness. Back to basics, chef 101.

Only the lonely – Gordon thinks he has become visibly weaker after relying on his friends. So he heads out on a journey alone to train by himself. Monkey stole his food and he almost gets killed by a wolf monster. Plus, his poison magic doesn’t work. He thinks he must have gotten really weak. Then he realizes that loneliness isn’t the cure. It is in fact the opposite, a poison. It is friends who helped him become stronger! Yes, he becomes friends with the wolf! Also, the wolf was also immune to all sorts of poison in the first place. When he returns home, he thought everyone is out to look for him. Turns out everyone is pigging out at a diner offering 90% discount! We’re going to surpass this!

Zora’s past, relived – Looks like a peasant kid has to fend off some arrogant noble kid. It could’ve been worse had not Zora stepped in. Because peasant kid feels disgraced for not being born as a noble, time for Zora to whip some life lessons to him. Zora also helps put arrogant noble kid and his dad in place after they accused peasant kid of stealing some magic item. So I guess the lesson is that anybody can be a Magic Knight if you really believe that you can.

Witches’ Forest revisited – Vanessa wants to learn magic from the witch queen as her training. However as a condition, she has to help train a couple of failures, Elvira and Samantha. Are they a splitting image of Noelle and Grey respectively in terms of personality? Anyway, they have to deal with some invading magical beasts and long story short, they manage to do and earn the praises of all the other witches. No more failures. Also, Vanessa changes her mind of learning magic from the witch queen. She’ll train herself to become stronger. Slowly but surely. I guess she’s trying to say if you want something done, do it yourself.

Must-test Sally – Julius recognizes Sally’s skills and wants her to make magic tools that will help increase mana. For that, Sally needs a bunch of data and test subjects. While Asta offers himself as promised, Sally wants to save the best for last. Hence she lures other Black Bull members and experiments on them. Boom! Oh well, back to the drawing board. At least she got the data. Eventually she also lives up to her promise to do experiments that won’t hurt others. So she just snips a small portion of Asta’s hair for her sample? Will that be enough?

Smart Alec-dora – Alecdora still despises Yuno for being a peasant but has gained merit due to his achievements against the Eye of the Midnight Sun. He tries to outshine him and prove himself useful to Vangeance but whether it is saving a village from violent wild boars or fighting off a mean bandit hogging a dungeon, it is Yuno who comes up tops. In the end, he may not still acknowledge Yuno but at least he recognizes him as a fellow member of Golden Dawn. We’re family, right?

Don’t trust the media – Remember how Asta was branded a devil’s servant by the Magic Parliament? Because Damnatio agreed to Julius’ conditions to wait until after 6 months to judge Asta, one of his men, Kabwe isn’t too happy about it. There are also a few people whose lives were totally destroyed by the Eye of the Midnight Sun and thanks to the news of Asta the devil, they too want to take the law into their own hands.

Devil Banishers – So apparently these people group together to kidnap the devil’s servants. I just have to say, should they have chosen a better garb and mask? Anyway, they first kidnap Marie. Next they target Asta and Nero. I know they were being ambushed but for them to go down like that, damn they need more training! Even more so Noelle who failed to stop them! But at least she thwarts their 100% kidnapping success as they only manage to get away with Nero.

Guilty until proven innocent – Gauche jumps the gun thinking Damnatio was the one who kidnapped Marie. So he storms into his place and demands answers. Thanks to Marx’s convenient magic, Damnatio’s memories prove him to be innocent. But I guess the punishment needs to be postponed till they rescue the hostages and defeat Devil Banishers.

You can’t save everybody – Arriving at the town of Tiulyu, Yami and Finral try to ask a woman, Dazu Tayak about whereabouts of Marie and Nero. However she didn’t answer them directly and throws back the question of why the Magic Knights didn’t come to save her family and town during the attack. I guess an apology isn’t enough.

Wild goose chase – Dazu who is a member of Devil Banishers, reports back about the appearance of Magic Knights in the vicinity. You mean nobody actually bothered to check Nero had a secret locator on her?! Damn, they’re sure careless. Anyway, they use the locator to lead the Magic Knights astray. Once the Magic Knights find out they’ve been bamboozled, they’ve lost all their leads. Time to regroup and re-strategize.

Good things come in threes – You’d think Devil Banishers who hate the devil so much would just kill the devil servants on the spot. The reason why they are holding off Nero and Marie’s execution is because they want to use them as bait to lure Asta. They’ll get better credit for executing all 3 at one go.

Who plays the better deception – A large crowd has gathered at the plaza to witness the execution of Nero and Marie. Since everyone here hates the Magic Knights, they’re calling for their heads. While the Magic Knights are in place getting ready to take necessary action, Devil Banishers use this to lure Asta out. Come out and they’ll spare the ladies’ life. You think Asta has no choice but to show himself but that’s just Grey in disguise. When Devil Banishers focus their attention on this fake Asta, the rest move in. It becomes chaotic with both sides fighting and the crowd fleeing. Although Asta did manage to follow Devil Banishers, he is made to surrender to secure the safety of the ladies. Kabwe wants to break protocol and execute all of them now because this is the only chance they’ll have. But some members are in disagreement and distraction allows Asta to save Marie. Devil Banishers retreat and Nero remains under their hands but they have also taken Asta’s grimoire. But as we all know that Asta doesn’t need a grimoire for his ‘magic’, right? Sheer raw power and steely ironed will determination of never giving up!

The devil you know – When the Magic Knight captains regroup to discuss another strategy, it seems a surprise call from Kabwe. Some of his men are taken out and the true twist is that some of their members are Devil Believers: Those who worship the devil and want to obtain its powers.

The deal with the devil – It is obvious that Devil Believers approached Kabwe and others from the Magic Parliament to use them to get info. It is most likely they now know about Megicula and are speculated to head over to the Spade Kingdom to make a deal with the devil to obtain its powers. So Nero is like the offer? Can a single soul be enough? However Devil Believers soon grow in numbers because countless people who are in despair and cornered see them as a ray of hope in getting out of the doldrums. Sure, having the powers of the devil is bad. But you won’t be afraid of anything and can do just about anything when you have that power, no?

All praise the (Demon) Lord – You think all those normal people in Devil Believers are going to gang up on Asta. Heck, they start prostrating themselves before Asta, their master!

Same ol’ revenge story – So Devil Believers want to cross into Spade Kingdom to obtain powers of the devil so that they can get revenge on Clover Kingdom who mocked and belittle them who have no or very little mana? I see they’re no better but what else could they do? Like, help make the kingdom a better place? NAH!!!

Take me! – As always, Asta wants to take Nero’s place. But it feels weird after they take him, they continue to bring Nero along. Perhaps it would be dangerous to let someone go in these dangerous parts of the mountains. It’s not like Nero could fly back or anything. So everybody is going to march to the Spade Kingdom anyway, huh?

Action speaks louder than words – If the people don’t want to listen to the Magic Knights, might as well see and watch them take down and ice monster and save all you asses. Now are you not convinced that not all Magic Knights are bad?

Words for the future – With just a little bit more oiling, using great words like promising to rid of discrimination and no one will be left behind, just like the all the followers decide to give them a chance and turn around and head home. Oh boy, it’s going to be a long journey back…

Exiled – However it is a different case for Dazu and the main members of Devil Believers. As they have kidnapped, ignited chaos and killed, they will be judged for their actions. Thankfully it won’t be an eye for an eye as Damnatio sentences them to be exiled from Clover Kingdom. So this means continuing their journey to Spade Kingdom? If they survive the strong magical barriers along the borders.

Take a look at me now – Grey tries to ask help from her fellow Black Bulls to train not to be embarrassed when people look at her. Your guess is as good as mine how it will eventually turn out. Ah well, as long Grey is Grey, that’s all that matters, right?

Fight of the best – I guess we’ve been waiting for this. A mini fight that pits all the Magic Knight captains against each other! But it’ll be a team battle. Yami-Jack-Kaiser-Nozel vs Vangeance-Charlotte-Dorothy-Fuegoleon. Rill sits this one out because he is still in love… What a waste. Anyway, we see the epic power fight between the captains. Eventually it is a draw because Yami’s dimension slashing slash slashed both team’s crystal. This fight has a major boost for everyone since it spurs others to grow stronger and the citizens can be assured they have powerful Magic Knights to protect them.

Magic Knights entrance exam revisited – Man, has it already been a year since Asta joined Black Bulls? Time sure flies. New candidates and hopefuls take the test to see if they can join any of the Magic Knight squads. In the end, looks like Black Bulls didn’t get any new members so Asta and Noelle remain the squad’s most junior members. No juniors for them. Hey, wait a minute. Shouldn’t that be Zora or Nero? Aren’t they the newest members? Unless you’re talking about age as a factor of seniority…

Specially selected – Due to limited training provisions, the Magic Knight captains nominated a handful of Magic Knights to train with the Heart Kingdom. The lucky ones are Asta, Nero, Noelle, Finral, Luck, Magna, Mimosa, Leopold, Rose and Rill (finally this guy decided to do something, huh?).

Decoration ceremony revisited – Once again it is that time to promote Magic Knights for their bravery defending Clover Kingdom. Those receiving many steps up their ranks are Sol, Mimosa and Leopold. But the biggest promotion goes to Yuno who puts him on the same rank as a vice captain level.

Ba-hah brouhaha promotion – Augustus who is unhappy with a peasant like Yuno getting the biggest promo, self-declares Sekke to be promoted to that same level, claiming he is the only guy who protected him during the attack. Well, some facts may be skewed but okay, you’re the boss.

This place isn’t big enough for 2 vice captains – Eventually this has to be settled. Langris vs Yuno. The loser must leave Golden Dawn. In the end, Langris loses but Yuno can tell that he was planning to lose from the start and use this as an excuse to leave Golden Dawn. However Langris laments that even when he got really serious halfway, he still couldn’t beat Yuno. A loss is a loss. Langris leaves on a journey but the door will always be open for him to return as a member of Golden Dawn.

Foodie traveller – So Charmy who wasn’t scheduled for the joint training is also at Heart Kingdom simply because she just wants to eat. I guess that’s her training…

Spiritual training – Our lucky participants now get to train with the Heart Kingdom’s spirit guardians. Other than Gaja and Undine, others include Sarado (earth – salad what?), Potrof (plants – pot roast what?), Floga (fire – frogger what?), Smurik (wind – Smurf freak what?).

Let the anti-magic flow through you – All Asta needs is just feel the flow of the anti-magic to pull off his trump card. Can he do it? Of course he can! He’s going to need it for the upcoming battle.

Buff stuff – OMFG!!! I know 6 months of training might sound like a long time but WTF, Asta is now buff like hell!!! Like a blob of muscles! I don’t think it’s the clothes making him look big… And so to show the results of his training, we see him barging straight into Spade Kingdom’s mobile fortress and owning all those low level guards. Yeah, those despicable assholes using the mana of their own people to power the fortress to get through the strong magic region. Think twice before you want to pick a fight with Mr Muscles!

The invasion from Spade in spades begins…
Dark Triad – The big bad rulers (Dante, Zenon and Vanica) of Spade Kingdom and yes, they have the power of the devils. Basically your final level bosses.

Dark Disciples – Those insanely strong weirdoes who serve under Dark Triad. Basically sub-bosses.

The real prince, you know – Not too long ago, Spade Kingdom was a peaceful place under the House of Grinberryall. Until of course Dark Triad overthrew the kingdom and took over. And guess who the real heir to the throne is? Yup. YUNO!

Back to the past – The messenger has Yuno see the past of his royal family. It’s easier to show than to tell, right? Everyone celebrates the birth of Yuno (who seemed to cry a lot back then). But all that peace shattered when the Zogratis siblings (Dark Triad as they will come to be known) who once worked under the king started to betray the king and take over the kingdom. The king’s loyal servant took Yuno away and fled to Clover Kingdom whereby he put Yuno at the doorsteps of the church before going back to take out the pursuers along with himself.

Attack at dawn – Looks like Zenon and a couple of his Dark Disciples are here attacking Golden Dawn’s HQ. While Dark Disciples kick every one of Golden Dawn’s ass, making the best Magic Knight squad in the kingdom look like babies, Zenon is looking for the arcane stage mage: Vangeance.

Solid as a rock – Yuno’s rock solid power of nakama has him cut through Gaderois Godroc’s solid rock power.

Cut like the wind – With the help of Yuno’s distraction, Klaus and Letoile manage to locate Foyal Migusteau and strike him down.

Got a bone to pick with you – Yuno gets really mad when he sees Zenon owning Vangeance and the rest of his pals. But what can you do when you’re angry? Plus, Zenon gives him a little peak of his devil power. Scary…

End of the dawn – Oh sh*t! Yuno and all other Golden Dawn members dead?! OMFG!!!! Say it isn’t so!!! Thank goodness for Vangeance’s world tree somehow saving some of them. But unfortunately only half can be saved and those like Shiren and Hamon are dead… :’(.

Taking the bull by its horns – Dante attacks Black Bulls’ base since he wants to get Yami who is also of arcane stage. Since he is away for a meeting, he plays about with those left behind. I guess after all that training, Asta still has a long way to go since he gets owned like that. Gotta be fair, he is facing off with a Dark Triad who is in possession of a very high ranking devil. Of course he won’t give up. Thanks to Vanessa’s Rouge altering fate, our heroes barely survive by the skin of their teeth.

Oh gosh, oh Gauche! – Dante kills off Gauche so as to awaken all the hatred and negative emotions in Asta. Time again for Asta to lose himself as he partially transforms into a demon and goes on a rampage. Cocky Dante avoids everything until Asta manages to put a little slice on his face. You mad now? Isn’t this what you wanted?

Almost Cinderella story – We take a glimpse back into Grey’s past. Just like Cinderella, mother and her sisters hate her for being plain and ugly. Yup, your excuse to abuse her. So when she manages to use her transformation magic to transform into one of them, they hate her for that?! She runs away and almost gets assaulted by bandits, only to be saved by Gauche. Thanks to his advice to survive in his rotten world, Grey works hard to overcome her shyness. She has a gratitude for Gauche and that’s why she can’t let him die. And so her transformation magic also heals?! OMG! What’s this about Grey being arcane stage too?!

Battle of the darkness – Just in time since Asta gets done in, here comes Yami to fight and protect his clan members. So who is the biggest devil? Yami vs Dante. In the end, OMG Yami defeats Dante?! Is this too soon?! Too good to be true, Dante’s got some devil healing properties.

Tree of Qliphoth – Apparently to create this tree, you need dark magic and world tree magic at arcane stage. That’s you, Yami and Vangeance. Doing so means opening the gates to underworld and all the demons will flood this world and fill it with their malice. Creepy…

At the heart of the battle – Looks like Vanica leads some of her Dark Disciples to attack Heart Kingdom.

As fast as lighting – Luck becomes a super quick lightning spear himself to pierce through Dark Disciple, Svenkin Gatard.

Hunger for victory – You think Dark Disciple’s Halbet Chevour’s beauty could assure her victory. Unfortunately for her, Charmy’s big glutton appetite means she eats her up. Hardly beautiful but I guess function > aesthetics.

Keep your eyes peeled – Because Dark Disciple’s Sivoir Snyle keeps all his focus on Leopold, he didn’t see the bigger picture that he had made some big fire ring wall whatever around them. Safe to say, he got burnt to a crisp.

Lack Cover…
Ugh… I think that’s it for me now binge watching this series. I’m officially stopping at episode 164. Because I believe they’re getting back on track to the real story and proper canon arc this time. So once again, for the second time I’m going to stave off this series for a while and tend to my other animes and let the episodes at least for this arc to accumulate before (hopefully) watching them at my own pace. Sheesh. I hope that they’ll continue to make this current arc a continuous affair and not put in a slew of filler arcs like what they did to Bleach. Uh huh. I can still remember that atrocity while watching that show (although I don’t remember much of the stories), the gall of having them to stop things right in the midst of an important story arc and insert an alternate filler story arc by its own. I really hope it won’t amount to that for this series. Otherwise, oh dear, another binge watching session for me! Don’t even know why I’m so obligated to this series even though I’m not a big fan…

So you see, the reason for that fear of mine is that despite the current arc is now beginning to take off in the anime, on the manga side it had already begun at the end of 2019! Woah. That’s like over more than a year. Well, if you compared it to this point in time. By the time the anime adaptation of the Reincarnation Arc has finished, there wouldn’t be enough materials to cover for this current chapter at all. Hence it would be very awkward then to have this series to insert filler episodes right when this arc in the manga was still ongoing. By the way, this arc in the manga is still currently ongoing and who knows how long it will take and I also fear by that time the anime adaptation would have caught up and, you’ve guessed it, let’s take a little break for fillers! Yeah, I’m not going to tolerate that sh*t anyhow! But from the looks of it, I’m quite sceptical. I mean, I took a quick count of the chapters of this arc the anime has adapted to where the chapter now is in the manga. Oh dear… Unless they take a break due to Corona virus (like how they did back in mid-2020) as an excuse to have the manga cover more ground. It will be a shame if that happens. And even more shame if it just ends like that because of such reasons. Oh well, can’t give up! This anime is too popular to be given up that easily! Am I right?!

Anyway, back to this season of filler episodes, well, I can’t say I am too impressed with them. They’re mostly there too, you know, fill up the space. They are mostly silly, light-hearted and of course having the important component of that nakama-ism thingy especially when you have the Black Bulls as the main character group of the series. It’s a pretty standard affair. They don’t really have a real bearing on the main storyline nor do I see it will greatly impact on the main canon arc. If it did, it would just be very minor. Some characters get some screen time because this series has too many of them so it’s like they need to remind us that they still exist or somewhat still important and hence they get this spotlight in this episode for whatever shenanigans. I’m sure we all had a good time. Now can we move on to the next big thing and not waste our time further? Says me, a guy who spends most of his time watching so many animes…

Okay, okay, to be a bit fair, not all of the filler episodes were boring or just outright funny for the sake of being funny. The Devil Banishers Arc was a little interesting and something timely since all the episodic fillers were really going nowhere. So having a mini arc like this gives us the much needed reminder that this series is still interesting to watch if they have the right story and direction to move. Though, the arc was bittersweet it still falls short of being epic as some of the other main canon arcs.

Even though I said that the fillers don’t impact on the main storyline, there are some things that seemed that have changed and stayed permanent that way. For example, Gordon now doesn’t whisper in his soft inaudible voice. Now he talks normally! Yeah, it would be a pain each time we have to rely on ‘subtitles’ to guess his mumbling! Oh the irony. I guess if you want to make friends, you yourself have to move forward so it’s a good step that he is now speaking clearer. There’s going to be a new running joke about Finral trying to get over his flirting ways as he tries to psycho himself that Finesse is his only fiancée. Good luck. Then there is Dorothy who doesn’t sleep as long as she was before and I think she has been awake longer this time around than she was than at the end of Reincarnation Arc. And also not forgetting Nozel must have been putting up the greatest poker face because he doesn’t really hate Noelle and could be a siscon for all we know! Not forgetting Langris now no longer a stuck up jerk and this change could do him a lot of good. But the biggest change that I’m still trying to get used to is the fact that Asta is so freaking stout and muscular! Damn, he looks so weird especially at certain angles! Like a midget brimming with muscles! Really, this is going to take a lot more episodes for me to familiarize and overwrite my memory of how Asta used to look like.

Other new stuffs include new seiyuus joining the long list of casts for this anime and these include Kana Ueda = Undine, Dante = Rikiya Koyama, Tatsuhisa Suzuki = Zenon, Yui Ogura = Vanica (surprised! Not a loli role!), Yuu Serizawa = Loropechika, Ryoutarou Okiayu = Gaja and Himika Akaneya = Dazu. Also a bunch of new opening and ending themes that include Stories by Snow Man (eleventh opening – typical rock outfit), Eien Ni Hikare by Tomorrow X Together (twelfth opening – if it sounds like a typical K-pop that’s because the band is one), Grandeur by Snow Man (thirteenth opening – now with more added hip hop power!), Answer by Kaf (eleventh ending – a ballad so dramatic it sounds almost suffocating and Elmo!), A Walk by Gakuto Kajiwara (twelfth ending – WTF?! Asta singing sounds so different?! Anyway, another rock piece) and Beautiful by Treasure (thirteenth ending – dubstep pop?).

And of course, there are many things that still don’t change and remain the same such as Noelle being a total tsundere and using that same ol’ excuse she is a royalty as some sort of justification for her actions or behaviour. Gauche still a Marie siscon, Grey still shy about looking people in the eye, Charmy still a glutton, Vanessa still drinking in her undies and yeah, Yami still spending most of his time in the toilet, probably taking the biggest dump record ever! Please don’t kill me… And Augustus still the most hated character ever in the series. Perhaps even more hated than all the antagonists put together and you just want this guy to just drop dead! Then Sekke doesn’t have to suck up to him and be his balls carrier! On a trivial note, is it me or is the Petit Clover segment way less during these fillers? I guess they don’t want to do double fillers. The main segment already you have a filler and then in the Petit Clover you have a short chibi filler. Some episodes do have them and I guess that is only to fill up the remaining time slot. That’s what this segment is all about in the first place, right?

Overall, I’m still not giving up on this anime yet! The fillers might be a let-down but that is only if you compared them to the proper stories. Its entertainment value as good as you can see because that’s what you’ll also get. It’s not bad but it isn’t all that great. Heh. Basically, a borderline case for me. I mean, this series has the potential to go on forever like One Piece, Detective Conan and Boruto (formerly Naruto…) or perhaps find some sort of closure or at least ending anime wise like Fairy Tail or Gintama. Who knows what the future will hold. As long as you don’t give up, the possibilities are always there! Heh. Okay people, I’ve had my fun filled share of appetizers. Now give me the main course! With the devil’s luck, maybe I’ll even get my desserts and eat them too. See you in (insert day, month, year or any specific time you like here)!

One Room S3

There’s more? I would never have thought that there would be a third season for One Room but I guess it is no surprise since everyone around the world has mostly been in lockdown mode in 2020 due to the you-know-what virus. So I guess we need more 2D girls to come talk to us and make us feel special that we’re the only one for them, huh? Heh. This isn’t anything new actually. For we otakus have already been doing this kind of crap since the dawn of time! So who are the lucky girls that we are going to conquer this season?! I say, bring ‘em on!

Akira Kotokawa Arc

Episode 1
Looks like we’re in the same gardening club as our kouhai, Akira Kotokawa. Yes girl, you’ve gotten better with watering your plants. No sexual subtext here… We talk to her in the clubroom as she asks if we have plans for the summer. She looks pretty disappointed when we say harvesting vegetables! Those aren’t the plans you’re talking about?! What is it?! Tell us?! Then she shows us her embarrassing side when she breaks into her accent. Oh yeah. We find that cute. Later when it’s just the 2 of us after school, she thinks we’ll get along just fine because we’re both very lonely people. As she has transferred schools a lot of time, she got used to being lonely. Oh, I bet she won’t want to transfer away from here, if you get what I mean.

Episode 2
Akira wakes us up because we have to get ready before the typhoon hits. So why the gloom face? Because it reminds her how we first met? Because somehow this leads to her remembering how she avoids everyone and nobody cares about her because they think she’ll eventually transfer out? Oh… Next day when the typhoon hits, it seems Akira comes to the clubroom to take refuge. So she didn’t know we’re here, huh? Because she’s all soaked, we lend our jersey to her. Yes, it’s alright. Go ahead and wear it. Since we’re such gentleman, we turn around and only see her silhouette changing. She’s done but still feels embarrassed wearing it. Then the power goes out. She wants us to sit closer. A little more closer… Oh man, what are we going to do to her?!

Episode 3
Akira prepares to kiss us but THE DAMN PHONE RINGS!!! Oh. It’s mom. When you coming back? Anyway, Akira tells us something that she couldn’t tell us for a long time. You guessing it? Yup, she’s going to transfer away soon! Oh damn, what a surprise! So we see the next few scenes, Akira enjoying her time at the club with us. And of course, she tells us she’s having so much fun with us that it’s going to be hard when she transfers out. She has never felt like this before. Time flies when you’re having fun. Oh well, she thanks us for everything. Did she get over that fast?

Episode 4
We stumble into Akira’s gardening notes. Oh, what’s this? A little note that says she wants to stay with us? Then she catches us. Embarrassed, she runs away. We chases her. She tries to give excuses and blame us for being a coward, blah, blah, blah. How far can she run? To the garden rooftop of course. Since she’s going away, we give her carrot seeds. Don’t forget us as long as you have that. So we’re f*cking carrots?! Anyway, this has her confess she loves us. We won’t run away this time because Akira is preparing to kiss us! Oh man, look at how our beautiful Akira had blossomed… In the aftermath, looks like we’re doing long distance relationship as we frequent keep in touch via handphone. Yeah, nothing beats seeing each other in person, right?

Natsuki Momohara Arc

Episode 5
We return to our hometown where our little sister Natsuki is waiting. She is surprised because we didn’t inform her we’ll be back. She talks to us about her plan to go to Tokyo next year to study designing. Then she’ll get to live with us and it’s a win-win situation, right? Apparently we’re not siscon so this makes Natsuki mad as she starts mocking us. Because of that, she doesn’t want to see us and just leaves sarcastic notes around. That night, we go talk to her again. Especially this bottle design she actually designed. Natsuki is sad that papa and mama also disagreed with her studying in Tokyo. We give her the encouragement that this isn’t like her usual self. She’s the kind that always acts first before thinking, right? Not the nicest thing but whatever. And just like that our sibling relationship is back on track. Yeah, we really show it that we’re her onii-chan. With that, Natsuki hopes to get her room ready because she’ll be coming down to Tokyo next year.

Minori Nanahashi Arc

Episode 6
Minori welcomes our return to her bathhouse. Yeah, we tease her by undressing right in front of her! Later she talks to us about her little issue. Apparently dad and grandpa want her to sell this place and turn it into a parking lot but she remained reluctant. She somewhat tries to bring out name into it but realizes that everybody is just concerned for her. She puts this problem off later as she suggests we go shrine visiting. In this frigid winter? Okay. After building a snowman, she obviously hints of wanting us to ask her out on a date. Isn’t today’s shrine visit some sort of a date? More obvious clues that her hands are freezing. What to do with them? Oh, nothing? What a waste. Such a tease. And of course she writes on the plaque her wish for her business to prosper and to be forever with us.

Saya Orisaka Arc

Episode 7
We see a woman sleeping in our bed. She freaks out when she wakes up to see us a stranger and falls out the wrong side of the bed. Ouch. Turns out Saya Orisaka returned to the wrong room when she returned home late last night drunk. She apologizes and wonders if money can settle this. You mean not with her body?! HAHAHA, just kidding!!! What’s that she said about blaming us for not locking our door?! Anyway, since we’re such good guys, we treat her to our cup ramen to start off her day. Later that evening, we see her sitting by the swing alone so we go chat with her. She notices we are feeling down too. Probably our mock exams didn’t go so well. Saya wants to repay us by helping us to study. So this means coming into our room once again. So why is she getting flustered when we ask if she has entered another guy’s room? And what’s this about she has a classier and nicer boyfriend than us? So we don’t expect anything? Don’t worry. We won’t.

Episode 8
How the f*ck did Saya fall asleep while watching us study? Even more so her top unbuttoned?! No wonder we let her sleep. She tries to give excuses so we remind her about her boyfriend. Why so flustered? Nothing happened, right? She continues to watch over us but it’s hard to concentrate since we’re just looking at her boobs! We even get honest about it! Damn, it’s too bad these won’t be in the exams!!! She even cooks for us as a special treat but we tease her it’s some penalty game. Then we ask her why she is doing this much for us. She thought she could tease us by hinting we are interested in older women but our icy cold stare has her worried, thinking she is a nuisance. Nah. We’re not bad guys. We’re okay with her and we’ll both benefit in many ways when we help each other out, right? So when the sex part happening? JUST KIDDING!!!!!

Episode 9
When we return, Saya is waiting in our room as she pops the surprise to congratulate us in taking our exams. But we get mad at her because she came in uninvited?! So what our door was unlocked?! But we’re just trolling so we thank her for helping. So to celebrate, she suggests hanging out. Like a date? You mean she’s cheating on her boyfriend?! Yeah, she’s not even going to comment on it. Don’t spoil the date with words of another guy. Just enjoy the date! So as the day nears its end, she finally confesses she doesn’t have a boyfriend. But of course we already know! Yeah, it was so damn obvious! And we’re glad she doesn’t. So did she get the hint we want her as her girlfriend? But that will have to wait for next time as something urgent pops up: We failed our exams!

Episode 10
We meet with Saya who is ‘mad’ that she kept contacting us but we didn’t answer. How can we? We failed our exams, right? So as she talks to us about things and that she herself is the biggest liar because she is currently not working and still looking. Failure in life. That’s why she was reluctant to tell us when she saw us trying our best. She just wanted to help us. She is after all our girlfriend. Did she just admit that? No wonder she feels embarrassed and ‘hides’ on top of the slide. Of course we take her for a Ferris Wheel ride as we confess that we wanted to tell her to be our official girlfriend if we passed. But well… Then we receive a call. All hope isn’t lost because we’re now on the waiting list! Yahoo! Does this mean we can officially be a couple now?! And so it is official. This somehow now makes Saya very embarrassed to come into our room. Because we’re her official boyfriend, right? I wonder if we had our first official sex too because that ambiguous scene at the end!!!

Yui Hanasaka Arc

Episode 11
Yui tries to wake us up but we get cheeky and ask her for a morning kiss. Was it worth it to see her pout like that? Later we celebrate the anniversary of the day we started dating. I guess it’s a big deal. Then we play some card game made for couples. We have to do what the cards say. I wonder if it’s rigged. Because we need to massage Yui’s back. I guess not. The game itself is probably boring but it’s the act of what you have to do that might be fun. Especially getting Yui to look all embarrassed and say embarrassing stuff. Then there is one of the cards that has her answer yes to marrying us. I wonder if this can be a form of proposal. She claims we cheated because we saw that card earlier on an ‘ambushed’ her with it. So she ‘ambushes’ us back by giving a quick peck on the cheek. Oh yeah, are we starting to like this game?

Episode 12
So I’m assuming that from that picture that we are married to Yui?! Hence she is packing her stuffs and moving out from this apartment. But first, we accompany her to the public bath. Sorry folks, no POV here. Later we walk her back and she sleeps on the table. We tease her about being defenceless so she tries to get back on us by jumping on our defenceless selves. Not sure the logic but okay. Next morning, all the stuffs are cleared out. Yui takes a look one last time the place that started it all. Yeah, so many memories. She hopes the next person who lives here will find happiness. And off we go starting our new lives. And later, we see we have a wonderful daughter.

Room For Doubt
So having that final ending with Yui means there will be no more future instalments for this series? Not sure if I should feel relieved because it finally ended. There can now be some closure. Can I also assume that with us marrying Yui, the rest of the other girls that we date were just parallel worlds or figments of our imagination? An alternate reality of us if we took different paths. Oh well, maybe in that case future sequels might see us getting married to these other girls too. I doubt it but there’s always that small possibility. So Yui being our wife, the first girl shall be our last, so to speak.

The formula is pretty much the same as in its predecessors. I mean, if it is not broken, why fix it? And it is unfortunate because people like me seems to be pretty bored with it right now. So in the event if they really do want to make another season, they better come up with something better. After all, there is only so much a first person view of a silent protagonist can interact with a cute girl. Feeling a bit horny? Then go for that pantsu showing one where the girl show you their mad irritated faces! Haha! Yeah. Can’t go that far.

So what else can I say for this season? Nothing new except a couple of new girls. Heck, they had to feature 3 old ones whom I am guessing are the more popular characters, the reason they get a recurrence. Like Yui who is probably the poster girl of this series, she appears in all 3 seasons and the dating is still going strong in her. We also probably like a cheeky little sister, that’s why Natsuki is back as well as that bathhouse drama girl, Minori. We tried long distance dating with Akira and finally some tutor/mentor thingy with Saya (who feels a bit like a clone of last season’s Mahiro – girl who is down on her luck and without a job). I guess the new girls are pretty average and nothing that special. If they are going to add another season like this, probably they’ll have to fit in more episodes or add another cour because at this rate there 3 minutes and a dozen episodes won’t be enough to feature the old favourites and new ones. Wow. So many girls but none of them really for us in real life. Sad… :’(.

This season’s new casts are Miyu Tomita (Gabriel in Gabriel Dropout) as Akira as well as Yumiri Hanamori as Saya (Nadeshiko in Yuru Camp). Of all the ending themes, my favourite one goes to Saya, 3-Kai Kara Yamato Nadeshiko. It has this catchy Chinese tune to it so if there was something that I like truly about this season, this song easily comes out as tops. The others just feels okay and generic like Akira’s Taiyou To Rainbow, Natsuki’s Aozora Ni Kami Hikouki, Minori’s Yuki No Machi To Kuusou No Time Machine and Yui’s Shunkashuutou Egao Biyori are all lively pieces but still as not as catchy as my aforementioned favourite.

Once again, this season is still cute and awkward (POV shows are always awkward, isn’t it?) but personally it seems to be losing that shine a little. Unless of course you want to pay extra for that VR experience. Yeah, now I remember that crowdfunding VR they were doing the last time and looks like it was really successful. From what I can see it’s just Yui. I guess we’re married to her in the series so no cheating with other waifus! Not sure if more features will be unlocked if I throw in more money but you know me, I’m hesitant to part my money for something like that when you can get something like PornHub for free all over the internet! Haha! No wonder I’ll still stick watching to this in the event another season comes up. Hey, can’t complain. The amount for free love you get is equivalent to the amount of free love you give.

Majo No Tabitabi: The Journey Of Elaina

Long ago, there was an androgynous kid riding on his talking motorbike, travelling from one country to another country. Now, we have a beautiful witch riding on her flying broomstick, travelling from one country to another country. Yeah, basically the same thing generally but in different format, I guess. And with magic to boot! So who is the witch with beautiful silvery hair that travels around the world to meet all kinds of people and experiences? That’s right. Follow Majo No Tabitabi: The Journey Of Elaina as she tells us once more why the journey is more important than the destination.

Episode 1
Elaina loves reading books and hence her wish to travel around the world. But her parents told her once she becomes a full-fledged witch, she is able to do so. Hence Elaina starts studying magic real hard until she becomes the youngest apprentice witch in the country of Robetta. Her next step is to take on a mentor but it seems because of that accolade, nobody wants her. Then she heard about a witch who lives in the outskirts, Fran AKA Stardust Witch. She goes to see her but doesn’t have any hopes. To her surprise, Fran accepts her. However Fran never taught her magic and instead Elaina did chores. After a month, suddenly Fran wants to test her. She must defeat her in this magic battle. Elaina is no match for Fran and eventually loses. Was that too much for her? Because she starts crying! Oh my. Fran’s cheap magic tricks couldn’t calm her down. Elaina complains how she just wanted to be acknowledged and tried so hard. She thinks Fran is like the rest and just wanted to tease her. That is when Fran reveals the reason she didn’t teach her magic is because her parents requested her so. It seems they are worried Elaina might not grow up into a good adult if this way continues. Hence they hired Fran to teach her about setbacks and failures in life. Fran believes Elaina is talented but lacks experience. Because she endures her trials and would later work hard and rise up to it, the reason Fran didn’t give her any initial tests. This is also her biggest problem. So the lesson here is to say no at the right time and she doesn’t have to put up with things she doesn’t want to do? Oh, you don’t know how that will backfire because Elaina can now ‘joke’ with Fran if there are things she doesn’t want to do! But after that, Fran teaches her magic until she could teach no more. After a year, Fran passes her and gives her a brooch and the title of Ashen Witch. Because it’s the colour of her hair. Does it not sound cool? Soon, Fran will be leaving for her home in another country. She came here because of somebody she wanted to meet. She hopes they will meet again in the future. Now that Elaina is ready to travel the world, mom gives her 3 promises to keep: 1) Run away when you’re in trouble; 2) Don’t think of yourself as anyone special; 3) Come back here one day. Of course daddy is crying so hard since his baby girl will be leaving. Imagine the tears if she gets married one day… SOB! SOB!!! Mom also gives her a diary to keep track of her travels. Hey, she has to return here one day to tell her stories, right?

Episode 2
3 years into her journey, Elaina enters the Land of Mages. The first thing when she enters here, Saya crashes into her. With the little chaotic state, Elaina is cool as she uses her time reversing magic to repair the tiles and heal Saya’s wounds. Then off she goes to find a place to stay. However all the hotels reject her! Hmm… This looks familiar… Eventually the only budget hotel in town that allows her to stay is run by Saya! Before she could claim Elaina is here for retribution, rest assured she just wants a place to stay. It is then she realizes her brooch is missing. But a more pressing plea from Saya because she wants her to train her to be an apprentice witch. Saya and her sister came here to take that exam but her sister passed first and went home. Elaina agrees to take up this task and in between teaching Saya, she looks for her missing brooch. Man, Elaina being a teacher to Saya, does it remind her of herself? One day as she looks for her brooch she gets a very shocking statement from a witness. That night, Elaina confronts Saya and wants her to return her brooch. When Elaina first entered this country, Saya already set sights on her and everything was a setup. During the chaos, Saya stole her brooch. It seems Saya did this because she is afraid of being alone and thought Elaina as he sister. More Elaina advice to keep give her some hope but so as not to completely leave Saya alone, she gives her an extra hat of hers. With that, Saya is bawling tears like there’s no tomorrow. Reminds you of someone, no? 6 months later and Elaina is in another land, she reads an article of Saya successfully becoming an apprentice witch. Saya also thanks a certain traveller for giving her the courage and hope. One day when she has become a full witch, she hopes to meet Elaina again. You bet. Elaina will be waiting patiently as always.

Episode 3A
Before Elaina enters the next country, she stumbles into a beautiful flower field. A woman gives her some flowers to be taken to the next country. As Elaina enters the gates, she is stopped by a young guard who is mad about the flowers she is having. When his boss tells him to go cool off, he explains his sister went missing so do forgive his rudeness. Also, he needs to confiscate the flowers as it gives off poison that will affect non-magic users. This will turn them into zombies and make them go to the flowers where they will be fed off their nutrients. Elaina gives the flowers to be disposed. Damn, he just burnt it like that? Sure the smoke won’t affect anybody? In her inn, Elaina remembers a similar story like this. The plant turned into a monster? Next day as she leaves, she visits the flower field again only to see the young soldier in a trance, happy to see his sister again. That’s a plant he is talking too, right? Elaina… She just slowly backs off and flies away… For the best… Much later, we see human plant zombies trudging towards the country… OMFG, what the?!

Episode 3B
In the next country, Elaina meets Emil who claims he has gathered all the happiness and put them in this bottle. He wants to show it to the girl he loves, Nino who is also his family’s servant. He brings her to his home for lunch. Elaina meets Nino and can tell that she is from the east. Nino seems to be very timid and always anxious. Emil claims he wants to give her a present but since she is reluctant, he ‘orders’ her to take it afterwards. Elaina then meets the village chief who is also Emil’s dad. After lunch, Elaina learns from him that he bought Nino as a slave when he was there. His wife ran away and he needed someone to do the housework. He paid quite a high price for Nino. When Emil accidentally startles Nino, she drops an expensive jug. The village chief gets violent to abuse her to clean up. Elaina then works her magic to restore it back to normal. No need for violence there. Emil is left jealous that he could’ve done that too but Elaina distracts him to give the present to Nino who might be depressed now. Emil then gives the bottle and lets her open it. It shows pictures of random people being happy? Nino cries as Emil hugs her. So this is to show her that there is happiness out there in the world? Okay. So don’t be gloomy anymore. As Elaina leaves, she notes a darker side of this beauty. A story she knows, when a husband showed his frail wife such beautiful pictures of the world, it made her even more depressed because she can’t experience it. In the end she took her own life! That’s the cruel side of this beauty and Elaina narrates she doesn’t know what happened to Nino after that. Nor that she wants to know either! OMG…

Episode 4
Arriving in a decimated country, Elaina needs a place to stay so the best place is the palace, right? However there is a sole survivor and she is Mirarose. Unfortunately she has amnesia and doesn’t know what happened. There is this letter telling her she is Mirarose, a princess of this kingdom. There is a monster named Javalier who is out to kill her. It has already roamed her kingdom and killed every person it encountered. Because this castle is imbued with special magic, Javalier cannot kill her here. If she flees, Javalier will hunt her down. It is also the letter’s wish for Mirarose who is also a witch to kill it. Mirarose has a plan but Elaina won’t help since she gets nothing out of it. Next morning after Mirarose bakes bread, she talks about how the letter is genuine because it is as though she feels the same hatred in killing Javalier. Eventually Elaina helps out in using her familiars to dig a huge hole. The plan is for Mirarose to lead Javalier into this trap and then zap all her magic. Well, if only digging the hole wasn’t this much of a work. So we see the plan work to perfection as Mirarose leads a chasing Javalier to the trap. When it cannot climb out, Mirarose uses all her magic to kill it. Eventually she gets her memories back and lands the killing blow on her father, the king! Mirarose narrates she was in love with the castle’s cook and she ended up pregnant with his baby. When she told father, he ordered his death and after much torture, he was burnt alive. Mirarose became enraged so she put up a barrier around the castle and will only let mages enter. In exchange of turning her father into Javalier, she lost her memories. Hence the letter was written by herself. When her father was in Javalier mode, he was still aware as himself. This is to make him feel the same despair she felt when a loved one was forcefully taken away. Mirarose continues to play house by herself with her imaginary love. Elaina? Better get out of here fast!

Episode 5
In a country, Elaina spots a bestselling book that seems to be written by Fran?! This has her remember she stopped by at Royal Celesteria 6 months ago. While exploring that kingdom, she tried to enter the Royal Magic Academy but was chased away by the groundskeeper. Shortly, a few students try to get her to come with them but without telling her the reason. Obviously she refused but other students surround her and try to take her. Of course Elaina won’t be captured easily and hence starts a huge game of tag around the kingdom. Elaina being more experienced in magic gives them the run around. Damn, they chased her for the entire day and they still can’t get her! Until their teacher comes by. Why, it’s Fran! She is a teacher at this academy and heard from the groundskeeper about an ‘intruder’. Knowing his description that it is Elaina, she sent her students to go get her. In a way, a good training for them too. Former teacher and student talk, especially about an adventure book that Elaina loves. It’s pretty similar to the travelling that Elaina is doing now. Fran then tells a secret that she too wrote such stories during her journey. But she got bored of it and left it in her bag in which she accidentally sold off. It’s kinda embarrassing to think about it now. What if somebody bought the back and read her manuscripts?! Yeah… Elaina becomes a special teacher to Fran’s students for a few days. Teaching them about magic and the likes. At the end of the day, Elaina thinks she likes this kingdom because of all the different people she met, it somewhat overlapped with her journey. When Fran tries to ask her what she likes (besides travelling and books), it is to give her a farewell present. Eventually they settle for flowers. However remembering one of her journeys that flowers had a sad meaning, Elaina decided to leave without waiting for Fran to show up. But alas, Fran and her students are here scattering lovely flower petals and wishing her well in her journey and hopefully they’ll meet again someday. So now in this country, looks like Fran’s book is not only selling well. There are memorabilia on sale and a huge statue paying homage to her! This is going to be an interesting story to tell her next time…

Episode 6
Elaina enters a country that can only tell the truth. She tests it out by trying to lie she is ugly. Her voice automatically corrects that she is beautiful! ELAINA IS BEAUTIFUL???!!! Oh wait, never mind. What about in writing? It also corrects to the truth. Because of that, nobody here seemingly talks. Such quietness. When a petty fight breaks out, everyone is just watching because it reliefs stress? Then flies down is Saya to stop the fight. Upon seeing Elaina, oh boy, look at her idiotic face. She forgets about stopping the fight and goes cling all over a not so impressed Elaina. Looks like she is part of the United Magic Association and doing jobs on her travels to earn money. Elaina remembers earlier on there was a girl who was looking for a witch from the association. She is Eihemia and looks like she lost her voice. Her background tells us the king wanted some sort of magic to make everyone tell the truth as he was sick of his retainers lying. She did so using a lame sword as its vessel and barrier. In exchange for that, she lost her voice and magic. As she has no other value, she has been fired from the palace. Hence she sent a request to the association to help put the country back the way it was. But how are they going to see the king? They can’t lie. Elaina has an idea. It seems she shows the guards a few cue cards that they have permission to enter and that Eihemia’s banishment has been revoked. The trick is to write various sentence, all of them are truthful. However they rearrange the sentences to make it sound so and hence technically they’re not lying. Inside the palace, instantly the witches face off with the king who insists he did the correct thing. Saya keeps the guards at bay as Elaina argues that his deed didn’t make the country any better because bad people do not only resort only to lying. And something about lies are lubricant rather than the raw truth that gets on everyone’s nerves. In the end, Elaina’s distraction allows her to destroy the lame sword and destroy the barrier. In the aftermath, the king apologizes to the people for his harsh rule on the truth and Eihemia is reinstated back into the palace. Saya is sad because she has to return the HQ and report. So she gives Elaina a matching necklace as thanks for her help. Let’s meet again someday.

Episode 7A
Once there was a country divided by a wall. Both sides hate each other. I thought it was Elaina visiting but as I found out later, it’s Nike the travelling witch whom Elaina loves reading stories from. Damn, she looks like Elaina. Could be her mom… Anyway, the official told her that despite both sides hate each other, the wall is pointless because they also want to brag to each other how much they’re better. Hence she came out with the suggestion to carve good words on the wall. Don’t believe her? The other side has more carvings… And so she played both sides and it becomes a tradition for both sides to have travellers leaving their marks. One day as Saya was visiting, the official needed her advice as this trend was starting to get boring. Hence Saya spammed writing her love for Elaina! By the time Elaina who so eagerly wanted to visit this country arrived, the famed wall is gone! Like the Berlin Wall, they’ve broken it down and selling pieces of it! She heard from the officials that people started to write their love as well as insults. Soon, those who didn’t like it tried to carve it off. This causes the wall to break down. It was then people realized they don’t hate each other that bad so they demolish the wall and the country reunited. Elaina wondered which country had the most praise before the wall was torn down. They claim they were equal. As they once started off as the same country, they worked hard so as not to lose to the other. So as to convince they were better, they never looked on the other side of the wall. Before Elaina leaves disappointed, she buys a piece of the wall. Looks like one of Saya’s carvings… Can’t quite make out…

Episode 7B
When Elaina visited a village famed for its grape stomping festival, the chief village complained to her about the rival village nearby using this hot chick, Rosemary as the face of their label and hence selling more wine than them. Hence Elaina suggests to get another hot chick to do the same. Aha! Fell for their trap because now they assume she’ll be that hot chick! Well, can’t deny she’s a beautiful witch. No wonder all the men were eagerly eavesdropping outside… Yeah, like as though there are no other hot chicks here. Just plain ordinary wives… So as Elaina gets ready, Rosemary pays a visit and insults her kiddie physique. You bet this is the motivation Elaina needs to stomp those grapes. Yeah, I hope it won’t taste bitter with all that killing aura! After all that great stomping and sore muscles, Elaina learns all that is only enough to fill half a barrel! This makes her wonder how did Rosemary do it. Time to peek into the rival’s operations. To their surprise, it is the men who are stomping! Now that the truth is out, I guess everyone is in despair knowing the wine is stomped by men instead of the hot chick. Yeah, you’ve been bamboozled for so long! It’s not the taste! It’s the feelings! What fetishism?! In the end, both sides start throwing grapes at each other. Elaina is probably drunk with some wine so she too joins in by shooting grape bullets at everyone! What a way to paint the town, uhm, grape?! Ever since then, both villages become friends and a new tradition was born: The grape throwing festival.

Episode 8
Arriving at a city that loves dolls, Elaina hears a witch from the association, Sheila talking to the townspeople about some killer called Ripper. Apparently there have been many cases already this year. Sheila also questions Elaina but as a traveller, she doesn’t know much about it. Elaina stops by a shop that seems to give out beautiful dolls for free. She doesn’t care about the money but wants to see people’s happy faces. Elaina declines claiming she has no room in her luggage. After Elaina checks into her room, she sees a doll on the table and puts it away in the closet. Nothing much happens until next morning as she washes up, she realizes her hair is cut short! She realizes the Ripper is one who cuts women’s hair which is basically their life. So while Elaina sulks in her bed, Sheila comes to investigate. Investigating the closet, the doll is missing and snippets of its hair are all over the place. Sheila informs the similar pattern of all the cases: Women who are asleep get their hair cut, the doll in their room disappeared but its hair scattered all over. It could be the Ripper uses that woman’s hair for the doll. Elaina joins forces to find the culprit. They notice the receptionist’s doll having its hair so life-like. They interrogate him and discover a secret auction where one can get such dolls. So yeah, the duo attend that auction and see lots of eager beaver trying to get their hands on weird dolls. Until the final dolls of the day: Dolls with real hair! One of them obviously belongs to Elaina. I guess it’s time to blow her top as Elaina bursts on stage to call out the Ripper. If she doesn’t come out, Elaina destroys the doll! Oh the horror! Stop desecrating the dolls! The Ripper turns out to be that doll seller. She claims she doesn’t need the money and sends it to the poor. She really wants to see happy faces. Not just that, but all sorts of expressions. So that’s her kick? Enough is enough so Elaina puts her in a cage and restores her long hair back. I guess we don’t want to get used to Elaina’s short hair. Sheila arrests Ripper (although Elaina would’ve wanted her dead!) and brings her back to the nearest HQ. Turns out Sheila is Saya’s teacher. Sheila plays a prank on Saya and tells her about what Ripper did to Elaina. You mad? SHOW ME MORE OF YOUR MAD FACE!

Episode 9
No money. Ah, woes of a traveller. But just in time a poster seeking help from a witch and will be paid. Elaina sees Estelle who requested this job. Elaina not shy to admit she wants the money and do less work. On the subject of payment, Estelle shows her a bag of coins. Wow! All this will be yours if you can help complete the job. Of course! Time for a little back story. This country has a famous serial murderer and even had a play about it! 10 years ago, a robber robbed and stabbed a wealthy couple to death. Their daughter, Selena who was out doing errands was spared from the murder. She was taken in by her uncle. Unfortunately he abused her and she killed him. Because of that, she developed hatred towards human and became a serial murderer. Estelle was away learning to become a witch and came back too late to learn about this. But 3 years ago, Estelle captured her and executed her with her own hands as it was the order of the king. Now the job is to go back 10 years in time to prevent the robber from murdering the family and thus saving Selena from this wretched future. For 3 years, Estelle has learnt about time travelling magic. Of course for such great magic, she has to sacrifice something: Her blood. It took almost all she’s got and it was just barely. When she goes back in time, she’ll hardly have any power left. Hence she needs another witch whom she can share her power with. This ring will help share their magic. And off they go to the past. Elaina wonders the future will greatly change since they are changing the past. Estelle argues that they are providing an alternate timeline for Selena to live despite they themselves will return to their own timeline that Selena is dead. So it won’t change anything for them. But with the amount of magic Estelle used, they only have an hour to settle this.

Estelle sees Selena on the streets and immediately goes to hug her! You bet the little girl is scared! Who the f*ck are you?! She’s not into this hentai play! Estelle lets her go after getting enough hug power and on to the real mission. Estelle sees her parents and on pretence to go see her father on some matter. They follow her as Elaina waits for the robber to show up. Which will be soon but the robber never did. Then Elaina realizes what if it was something else to make it look like a robbery? She then feels her power being shared. Must be Estelle fighting the robber. As he goes take a peak, Elaina becomes horrified. Selena killed her parents and Estelle!!! Selena reveals her parents mistreated and abused her and hence she killed them. She enjoys the great feeling of killing and wants to kill Elaina too but lucky for her, Estelle is still alive and pumps lots of bolts into her. Estelle is so disappointed and enraged that Selena lied to her all this time. Selena now reduced to a mad woman laughing and egging Estelle to become a killer. The final straw with Estelle regretting she should not have saved her and doesn’t need memories of her. As struggling Elaina finally manages to take off the ring, Estelle kills off Selena. Right on the dot because they return to their own timeline. Both witches are still alive although Estelle still in a daze. However she used her own memories as her final magic push to kill Selena. Now she has no memories of her at all. Elaina runs out in tears. Don’t need the money now? Outside, she starts crying that she is powerless and couldn’t do anything. All part and parcel of being a traveller. Okay, no jokes for this sorrowful moment :’(.

Episode 10
We delve into the past of Fran and Sheila. Both were once disciples of Nike. Fran was there first before Nike subsequently decide to take Sheila in as her second disciple. Obvious to say, with Sheila’s attitude like a delinquent, Fran doesn’t get along well with her. They fight all the time and it’s like Nike just loves watching them getting along this well. Seriously. During one of the journeys, they enter a town has posters that badmouths mages and witches. They are commissioned to get to the bottom of this as a hoodlum group known as Curio Company is behind this. They consist of people who can’t use magic and hate those with magic, hence harassing them. But how can they not be caught if they have no magic? Well, they use very weird magic items that give the magic users the slip. Nike promises to take care of this problem but it is not her who will be doing it but Fran and Sheila. If they fail, they will get expelled. At that time, both had the same idea of succeeding and letting the other fail just to be kicked out. Unfortunately they sabotage and get in each other’s way and at this rate they might both be expelled. When Fran is at a restaurant, the madam boss of Curio Company confronts her. Fran can’t do anything since the entire shop is surrounded by her underlings. Fran is captured to their base. Well, well. Looks like Sheila is also captured. When the boss is bragging, the witch duo pull off a slick hidden knives move thought by Nike to quickly untie themselves. With this element of surprise, they get their wands back and turn the tables on Curio Company. Easy. Fran then asks why Sheila wanted to become a witch. She lived a life of poverty and used magic to steal from others. Apparently one day she stole from the wrong person: Nike. That was when she learnt about witches and wanted to become one to stop living this wretched life. As for Fran, there were no witches in her country so by becoming the only witch, she can use that to make a living. Essentially, both became witches for their own self-interest. After the duo journey with Nike, Nike finally retires and makes them full-fledged witches. She gives them nicknames based on the opposite of their natural hair colour. Okay. Whatever.

Episode 11
Looks like Elaina is now in this country. But rumours of Curio Company has resurfaced and might be targeting mages again are rife. So as precaution, Elaina ditches her witch getup and goes about her sightseeing dressed casually. Meanwhile Saya is also in this country as she is tasked to deliver a box as ordered by Sheila in the last episode to the association. Obviously the madam boss of Curio Company tries to distract her while her henchman steals her box but failed. As Saya leaves, she blows some powder into her. Saya then stumbles into her sister, Mina who is supposedly doing undercover work to infiltrate a certain organization. Meanwhile as Elaina goes sightseeing, the madam boss thinks she is girl who looks dumb enough to open the box and blows some powder into her. In that instant, Saya and Elaina switch bodies. Elaina curious of the box before her, opens it. Suddenly smoke engulfs the entire place. And what’s this? Mina getting horny and wants to f*ck Elaina?! OMG. What’s happening?! Is this turning yuri?! Fortunately, Elaina knocks her out before any lesbo action could happen. However it seems the entire town is also under this spell. I didn’t know there were lots of gays and lesbians… Worse, Elaina catches Saya trying to make out with her reflection on the glass!!! They come to terms with what is happening but it didn’t take long for them to solve the mystery. Because stupid Curio Company henchmen in gas mask happily speak aloud that they plan to rob everything during the chaos as this effect will last a while. The witches round them up to tell them where their boss is. Déjà vu for madam boss as she gets reigned in. Saya doesn’t mind staying in this body forever (I can make jokes about her being inside of Elaina but better not…) while Elaina is obviously losing her patience. Switch us back now! Madam boss tries to be smart by claiming Curio Company has won because they’ll steal everything and escape in the end. Of course that won’t be since Fran and Sheila are here to put a damper her plans. Yeah. Déjà vu again. Lost twice and twice.

I guess the problem of this smoke thingy is also pretty conveniently solved since they open the box and all the smoke gets zapped back in. Fran and Sheila explain about the box that was a cursed item brought from a foreign land. Saya’s ‘abandonment’ is explained as Sheila mentions about taking Mina as her disciple. As she took her on right away and had to force her to go back to her homeland. Sheila thought it won’t do them good to be always together since Saya was always depending on somebody. Of course Mina was really mad at this. Elaina’s smug face can vouch for that and Mina is really embarrassed about yesterday’s incident. In the aftermath, Saya throws a tantrum that she wants to stay with Elaina. She’ll quit and become her bride! Too bad, Elaina rejects her. Boo hoo. And also with Mina’s intense glare, did Elaina just become her rival? Once they leave, Fran talks to Elaina and thinks she knows the whole story now about Nike and Fran’s own teacher. But Elaina claims she doesn’t. Whether she is playing dumb or not, her reason is that she doesn’t want her journeys to end. Feeling so would mean she won’t be able to journey freely like she is now. Fran thinks she doesn’t need to sweat the small details and even so she won’t change. Just be who you are but hopes one of these days she’ll go home. Elaina continues her journey, hoping it would not end just in 5 volumes like Nike’s adventure. All she wants is to be an ordinary traveller.

Episode 12
Elaina madness! She enters a country that makes your wishes come true. Instead of becoming rich, the land turns out to have monuments of places she has visited! When she enters the castle, a suspicious Elaina wonders if she is friend or foe! Heck, there are already 15 Elainas here!!! So our beautiful Elaina is the 16th, huh? So yeah, there’s the noisy and irritating one, the dumb/klutz one, the lesbian, the busty one, the greedy one, the chuunibyou, the slime, the zombie, the Russian, the gloomy ones ( oh heck, 3 of them?!). Oh my. Lots of Elainas… For our Elaina, they nickname her the protagonist. Damn, I thought it would be the beautiful one or at least the normal one! But not among them is the evil one. It seems she will attack the rest and is hell bent in destroying them. That’s why they are here to discuss a strategy to fight her. Wouldn’t they be on par if they fight her? Yeah, that fear of hurting their own. Elaina takes the lead as the protagonist to order everyone to go search for the evil twin and of course they all grumble. But they don’t have to as Evil Elaina is here! She’ll kill them all in one fell swoop! Slowly everyone gets owned until Elaina is left. It seems Evil Elaina has become filled with hate after seeing someone with love turned into a murderer. When Elaina dismisses she has experienced that, Evil Elaina becomes mad and starts chasing her. She is mad at herself who couldn’t do anything when faced with reality and hence trying to take out her anger via her other selves. In the end, both are evenly matched and tire themselves till they have no more magic. Elaina deduces she might have come here to see other possibilities of herself and hoped to see a version of her that hasn’t experienced despair. Hence she is here not to hurt others but to heal herself. Evil Elaina relents and now all the Elainas gather and exchange and read each other’s diary! Damn, this is going to take a while. Elaina has an idea to compile them as a book. Now to think of a great title… But of course, The Wandering Witch! When Elaina wakes up, she finds herself in the plains. As usual, time to continue her adventuring. In another country, she bumps into another witch, Amnesia whom she says she will find herself travelling with in the future.

Sekai No Tabi: The Beautiful Witch
Oh well, so many stories, so many travels, so many adventures, but so little time. As such with the story ending in a way, it might set up for a sequel but I guess even without throwing in such, there is still a possibility of having another season in the future the way the nature of this series plays out. So for now, Elaina will continue to travel and gather all her stories. Fans of her will always be eagerly waiting for her next volume! If only the internet existed in this world… Oh well, we’ll just have to wait and see next time.

The stories are pretty okay. They are pretty entertaining and amusing in their own right but nothing that extraordinary that would have Elaina’s journeys turned into some literature masterpiece once she pens down and organizes them all in an autobiography. Yeah. With only a dozen episodes, I am sure these are just the tip of the iceberg from all the travelling that Elaina has done. So I don’t think I can compare Elaina’s travels with her ‘predecessor’ Kino because both have travelled to very different countries and each has their own quirks. So if you’re not in the mood for a series that has a very long story to follow and that it takes the entire season to resolve, these seemingly random filler standalones might do the trick.

But as far as this anime is concerned, what we get to see range from light-hearted (that reunion with Fran again at her academy) to just plain silly (that grape stomping rivalry episode). However so as to not give us false hopes that everything is sunshine and roses, it was established quite early in the series that there were a couple of episodes that were really grim and depressing. Especially that flower girl one, that bottled happiness one and subsequently the princess who had to kill her monster father. This sets the tone for us to expect that not every episode is going to be a bed of roses so in between while we have fun and entertaining episodes to watch, for me personally I was kept thinking when would the next grim episode would be. And I knew it was coming with that serial killer episode because right at the start they put a warning disclosure that the episode contains very graphic content! Okay. Looks like real sh*t is going to hit the fan with that one. Though I will not go so far to say that episode is pretty heart wrenching and grim (because I actually guessed the twist!) but as far as this anime is concerned, it is the darkest and the grimmest by far we have seen.

Speaking of the magic in the series, it is a good thing that they are not overused in a way that makes us think that they are the focus of the series. I know, I’m trying to compare to Kino who doesn’t possess any such magic but the magic in this series plays a more supporting role rather than a plot of convenience. I mean, the main characters are witches, right?

Character wise, Elaina as the main character, I can’t say that she has grown much since most of the episodes are about how she deals with the quirky situation in the country she is in. True, she has grown and learn from her travels but nothing that might want to make you say that she has changed from what we have known her from the start. She stays the somewhat same throughout the course of the series. Of course again, it was already shown to us in the first episode her tutelage under Fran that she will not be the simpleminded and naïve kind of witch. Something that would have been far more detrimental if she is going to be a traveller. Hence with Fran’s teachings about the bitterness of setbacks, it becomes easily understandable why sometimes Elaina isn’t your typical main heroine because to a certain degree, she doesn’t really give a f*cks. That is a way to put it bluntly. Which is also totally legitimate for her. As a traveller and a guest in one’s country, you do not want to get too deep with its problems because one wrong step and that’s it for you. That one with Estelle was a good lesson, no?

Hence Elaina’s sarcasm and nonchalant behaviour might make her look like an uncaring b*tch on first impressions but there is only so much one as an outsider can care. Remember, her goal is to travel the world. Not solve your damn problems! She also might sometimes pass off as someone arrogant because for example she really takes pride in her own beauty and is not embarrassed to admit that. Though she does not flaunt it, but her monologues of describing herself as a smart and beautiful witch shows that she has confidence in herself. I mean, who is going to have confidence in you if you don’t have confidence in yourself? It’s also a good defensive mechanism in my opinion because this won’t allow scumbags who think they are holier than thou to step all over her head. So Elaina, carry on being you.

Oh Saya. I feel she’s like the joker of the series. Or at least her character gives off that faint impression. Her obsession is of course no other than Elaina and sometimes you wonder if it was a curse or blessing for Elaina to meet this joker. I don’t think Elaina actually loathes her but just finds her annoying because of that unhealthy obsession. The way she treats Saya could be the best way to handle her character. Don’t reject her too much because she might awaken into some masochistic weirdo. Don’t give her too much attention because well, for obvious reasons. So with the minimal coincidences that they have over the series, sometimes it is quite amusing and a gem to see them interact with each other.

Fran and Sheila being Elaina and Saya’s teachers respectively, I don’t think they spoil their disciples too much, otherwise they won’t learn. There were a couple of episodes on them but nothing really stand out for me. I mean, both have their past and circumstances but now they use it for good and pass down their knowledge, experience and wisdom to new younger witches who would in turn use their powers for the greater good. Although still it isn’t wrong to use magic to make money and earn a living. Last and not least, it is obvious by the near end of the series, a smart guess could most likely confirm that Nike is Elaina’s mom. I know, mother and daughter are splitting image of each other and initially it confused the hell out of me at first. I thought it was Elaina! And also, same seiyuu. Unless they try to pull off some other twist but I don’t think this is probable with all the hints that we’ve got so far.

One of the stunning factors of this series is of course the artwork and animation. It is quite high quality and it shows that they really put the effort in it. Especially the sceneries are beautifully rendered and it sometimes makes you want to really visit this fictitious country. But don’t despair. Even if you can’t physically go, I’m sure watching Elaina go sightseeing should also be breath taking enough. Sorry if this distracts you from the story but feel free and rewind and watch again once you’re done admiring the scenery, okay? Character designs are okay but it still bugs me that the stereotypical witches’ hat have to be so big like as though it’s an obvious sign to point and say, “Hey look here! I’m a witch!”. I wonder how that will affect the aerodynamics and wind resistance while taking flight? Okay, maybe they’ll have some magic to counter that. This anime is done by C2C who did Hitoribocchi No Marumaru Seikatsu, Harukana Receive and Shachou Battle No Jikan Desu.

Voice acting sounds okay and fine. We have Kaede Hondo as Elaina (Natsuki in Val x Love) and Tomoyo Kurosawa as Saya (Kumiko in Hibike! Euphonium). The final episode whereby seemingly Elaina talks to herself the entire episode, yeah, must be a tough but wonderful and amusing job. A handful of recognizable seiyuus include Kana Hanazawa as Fran, Youko Hikasa as Sheila and Shizuka Itou as Nike. Due to the nature of this series, there is a long list of seiyuus lending their talents and only making their cameo for a single episode. Some I recognized include Rina Satou as Eihemia and Satou Satomi as Nino. There are some I might missed but I guess that means they weren’t that impactful. Sorry.

The opening theme, Literature by Reina Ueda, although the song sounds pretty generic and fits the genre of this series, somehow I find the songstress to be a little out of breath and out of tune in some lines. Not sure if this is intentional (I don’t think so, otherwise would it really make the final cut?) but I find hearing those parts to be weird. Probably this is one of the drawbacks of not having any supporting accompaniment vocals because singing her lines solo really sounded weird. In comparison to this, hence I prefer (although not necessary like it very much) the ending theme, Haiiro No Saga by Choucho as it has this dramatic and enigma feel to the overall tone of the song.

Overall, this series is quite fun and enjoyable. A mix of entertaining and light-hearted moments as well as some dark and grim stories in between, it feels like it is the very much needed magic that makes them so engaging and interesting in the first place. It has potential to have more seasons but I can understand if there are no more after this. After making us hooked in watching Elaina’s journeys, I suppose they want to subtly tell us to go create our own adventures. I don’t know. Is watching more of such animes considered my own adventures? I know I’ll be there when Elaina is ready to tell me more of her stories. After all, who is the beautiful girl wearing a brooch that signals her status as a witch, whose ashen hair flutters in the wind, shining so much with beauty and talent, that even the sun’s eyes squirt involuntarily? Oh Elaina, you don’t have to be so modest with yourself…

Iwa Kakeru! Sport Climbing Girls

Okay, people. We need another sport that will have hot female chicks stretch out their strategic body parts naturally in full display without having to look all so sleazy like as though it was all for the obvious fanservice. Beach volleyball is out and jet skiing certainly didn’t do the trick. So what sport can hide that seedy fanservice reason without looking so obvious as one? Why, rock climbing! Uh huh. In nobody’s mind that rock climbing is considered a sport where perverts watch the sport just because of sexy hot babes. I mean, rock climbing. What is so sexy about it?! And that is why, Iwa Kakeru! Sport Climbing Girls is going to be this season’s fanservice but not fanservice sports genre. I mean, we are here just to see strong and flexible muscle girls climb up the obstacles, right? RIGHT???!!!

Episode 1
Konomi Kasahara feels that no clubs suit her in Hanamiya High School. Until she sees this rock climbing wall. She touches it but Jun Uehara gets disgusted to see a non-club member touching. Because Konomi watches her clean, Jun thinks she is interested and lets her try out. Konomi feels pretty good climbing and even tries an advanced lunging move the first time. She fails of course. As Jun lectures about how people try this out of curiosity and that this is more than just a game, Konomi wants to have another go. This time her vision turns into that of a puzzle as she ‘solves’ it with the route she takes. Club president, Sayo Yotsuba and Nonoka Sugiura are lamenting no other newbies besides Jun will be joining this year when they see Konomi’s climb. Konomi is looking like a climbing expert just after a few tips from Jun. Another lunge move… Failed. Konomi expresses interest in joining but Jun won’t allow it. Huh?! So she thinks she isn’t serious, huh? Hence a challenge if Konomi wins, she gets to join. Otherwise Jun quits. Uhm, isn’t this a lose-lose situation?! Of course Jun being the veteran, she’ll be given a handicap like Konomi will have a 2 minute head start and Jun will have no time to study the layout. So as we see both girls climb, Konomi of course being the beginner is slow but she is pretty flexible. We also hear their thoughts like how Jun loves nothing but climbing since you can’t win with beginner’s luck. As for Konomi, her whole life is just playing puzzle games. She realized her grades were failing and needed to do something. So she changed by studying had and getting into this school. And now she’s obsessed with sport climbing! Konomi impresses everyone with her laybacking move to solve a very complex problem that only veterans with years of experience can do. In the end, while it seems that both reach the top at the same time, it is Jun who won by a whisker. Aww… Can Konomi not join? Jun isn’t convinced by her marginal win and wants another challenge. So this is an indirect acceptance to allow her to join the team until their next battle? Okay. Whatever. Sayo asks Konomi a few questions if she has rock climbing experience. Nil. Her body is flexible because she once took ballet classes. Ah… But can it be this flexible assuming she didn’t do any more practice and just played video games?! But thanks to her being a puzzle game veteran, she can create solutions from that perspective. Sayo considers her a valuable fourth member for the upcoming tournament. When? Tomorrow!

Episode 2
The girls watch a video of Anne Kurusu climbing. Damn, the way she climbs like a cat, is she a cat woman in disguise? But first, their spring tournament. Konomi gets to know that Sayo was last year’s champion. But they intend to take the team’s title this year as well. Konomi’s first brush with a rival girl, the rabbit-spider hybrid of Chinari Iwamine. Damn, is every rival going to be some sort of monster girl? Anyway, don’t be intimidated by her. Just go climb. We see Sayo and Nonoka doing well in their respective climbs. Konomi then makes friends with Akane Uchimura (another cat girl?) who then gives some tips on how to climb. So when Konomi is up next, it seems she is climbing different than usual and this makes Jun worried because at this rate she’ll tire herself out. And true enough, this causes her to slip and fall. Oh my, sure she failed but now she is depressed?! This is just the second episode! Anyway, Jun doesn’t blame her after realizing she met a certain cat girl and proceeds to give some tips to climb some Egyptian style. If she still wants to be depressed, blame herself for not having enough faith on herself. We see Akane climb and she too fails. Then Jun talks to her but of course she pretends she doesn’t know anything. Of course the flashback will tell her she is a b*tch we love to hate because her goal is to ruin newbies in the sport. She was one too but Jun usurp her and took all the honours. Yeah… With Konomi getting her second chance, she does better this time going at her own pace and using Jun’s wisdom. Akane panics when she climbs higher than her although eventually Konomi falls due to lack of strength. As Akane rues and plans her next target, she accidentally bumps into Iwamine. Showdown between the beasts but Akane with her smaller stature loses out and gets ‘eaten’ by the spider… Just desserts. In the end, Hanamiya team takes both the individual and team honours! Thanks to Sayo, Nonoka and Jun occupying the podium spots! Before Konomi could start thinking she didn’t help much, Sayo talks about her dreams to head to the national championships and then conquer the tournaments of the world to spread to awareness of how awesome rock climbing is. So is Konomi in? You bet. But of course they have to contend with other prodigies like Anne, Iwamine, Chigusa Kumagai (bear?), Masumi Fujita (black panther?), Kurea Ooba (ballerina – I’m assuming it’s a swan then) and Rina Samura (delinquent – but WTF an animal is a Stormtrooper?!). And what’s this chicken dinner gamers’ lingo about being a winner? Okay. Whatever. Just climb towards the future!

Episode 3
In order to prepare Konomi for the next bouldering championships, hence Sayo will help train to shape up her body. Shape it up enough so she will have strength and not be burden by all the bulging muscles. With the training in session, Konomi finds it very hard to keep up. Don’t blame her. She’s just a beginner. It’s no surprise her body is aching all over. In school, she tries to eat with loner Jun but she might regret it since Jun notices her unhealthy diet and is going to watch what she eats! Poor girl can’t even get a break. To help with the training, the Hanamiya girls will head to the mountains to climb an anti-monkey rock. Yeah, a rock so hard that monkeys can’t even climb. Because Konomi arrives too early, she stumbles into a girl, Kikuko “Kiku” Goto playing a puzzle game. Claiming she is undefeated, Konomi plays with her and beats her with 10 consecutive victories! How about that! Kiku now wants to call her master! Too bad her dad calls so see you next time. Konomi realizes she is now late as the others have arrived. They meet up with their trainer, Juzo who is no surprise, Kiku’s father. Konomi is impressed seeing him climb a very dangerous cliff with ease. Konomi surprises everyone when she can analyse the rocks and tell the number of routes to take! All of them are hard so she chooses the one she thinks she can climb. Unfortunately she gets scared and couldn’t make it all the way to the top. Don’t feel disheartened now. It’s okay to know your limits and it’ll be bad if she actually falls and hurts herself. Then they see Kiku traversing the rock with ease. In the end, when Konomi goes to praise her, Kiku praises her analytical skills to be better. Because rock climbing has identifiable rocks, bouldering doesn’t so her skill is very valuable. Kiku’s goal is to become the best free climber like her dad. Yeah, she admires him a lot and doesn’t mind Konomi becomes her mom?! WTF???!!! Anyway, Kiku suggests Konomi come with her to do free climbing. Don’t have to give an answer now but think about it. Konomi returns to training and once more she feels afraid. Of course the key here is confidence and with that, you can even trust your pinkie with your life. The girls return home. More training but this time Konomi is fired up and improves in her form. Now she feels ready to take on the anti-monkey rock?

Episode 4
Konomi returns to climb the anti-monkey rock. After some dramatic moments, she finally conquers it. She is ready to give Kiku her answer and sorry, she can’t follow Kiku because she has her own dreams to pursue. Damn, Kiku looks so disappointed. Now she’s sulking! No choice, Konomi has to use her position as master to have Kiku come cheer for her at the bouldering championships. Before that happens, the Hanamiya girls take Konomi to have her feet measured. Pro climber, Asuka Fujimura runs a shop that has all your needs. She measures her feet to give her the perfect climbing shoes. Konomi tests it out and she has never felt so comfortable and wants to climb more! Now we see all the potential teams and characters at the bouldering championships. Akane being the usual b*tch again but she is shooed away because it’s time for a mini showdown between this generation’s greatest climbing dames! WTF?! We have Hanamiya’s Sayo, Kurikawa’s Iwamine and St Caterno’s Fujita. May the best climber win. Jun advises Konomi to follow her own brand of climbing and not listen to others. Of course Konomi needs to have her own b*tch rival and she is Ooba from St Caterno. They were in the same ballet school and Ooba once wanted to become like Konomi. So she claims she is a better climber than ballet than Konomi? How can you do ballet in rock climbing, b*tch???!!!

Episode 5
Nonoka claims she might fail this and hopes Konomi can cover for them. WTF?! Planning to fail her?! You trying to push your responsibility to Konomi?! Is this some death flag?! So we see all the girls have their go at climbing. Juzo explains to us the format of this preliminary. Apparently you can try and climb as many routes you want. The top 20 who complete the most within the time limit will move on to the semi-finals. If you fail and fall, you have to queue up for your turn again so plan your climb wisely. Now we see Konomi using her dexterity and resourcefulness to complete a very difficult route that no one wants to tackle and she becomes the first to clear it. A few more other girls in action before it is Nonoka’s turn. But as we know, because of her small stature, she fails to reach the top and falls. Girl so sad. After her is Iwamine and spider woman makes her climb look so easy. To rub salt into wounds, because I believe she is one the tallest among all the competitors, she uses her stature to stretch and grab the top, making it look like she’s defying the odds. And you bet Nonoka watching this just feels so insulted in certain ways. In the end, here are the ranks of those who matter: #1) Iwamine; #2) Fujita; #3) Kumagai; #4) Sayo; #7: Samura; #10) Jun; #20) Konomi. Where’s Nonoka? #23. Oh… Time for some drama. Because little girl runs away crying. Didn’t she ‘expect’ this???!!! So Sayo goes talk to her. This and that. You know the drill. But at the end of the day, what Nonoka is most saddened with is her small stature. Why can’t she grow bigger?! I don’t know?! Why didn’t your creator draw you bigger, HUH???!!! Lots of emotional Nonoka tears coupled with some big sisterly Sayo hug. Okay, Jun. Okay, Konomi. Time to get serious and do it for Nonoka’s part.

Episode 6
Time to give some drama for Fujita. Apparently she is nervous for the semi-finals. She can’t fail or else it will invoke some failure trauma during her stint at the tracks. Of course she can’t show this side to her comrades. Imagine how demoralize they’ll be if they see her cower like that… Nonoka dresses up as a delinquent to support her teammates? Are there no decent cheerleading outfits?! Also, Ooba trying to show her b*tch supremacy again to Konomi but the latter is just freaking cool that her teammates are all one! Asuka joins Nonoka in the stands to watch the semi-finals. Yeah, your much needed commentator as she also helped set the obstacles for the semi-finals. From the rundown of how it works, basically participants are placed in an isolated room. Going by the ascending order of how they finished, once they come out to the field, they will have to visualize and analyse how to climb the wall on sight. Yup, this is an obstacle crafted best for Konomi’s abilities. Top 6 goes on to the finals. Konomi goes first and she wows the crowd by clearing the first difficult path in a single try! The crowd cheers so loud with this stunning impossibility that Ooba is getting worried… We need to see our first failure and that is Maruno Satou who falls too many times and couldn’t complete her first path within the time limit. Next is Kaoru Niijima. She slips and falls very often but gets up quickly and each try she climbs higher. I don’t, each time she rinse and repeat this, it feels like a joke! At this point, Konomi has cleared the second, again in her first try! The crowd cheers louder! You getting worried, Ooba? Of course now it’s her turn to try and surprisingly not surprisingly, she slips. Try again. Konomi is already using her superhuman analytical skills on the third wall to once again climb it at first go! The crowd goes wild! Ooba now panics. Must climb faster! Oops! She falls! She keeps slipping and the ultimate f*ckery is how she sees Konomi as the wall! Time’s up, b*tch! Out you go!

Episode 7
It seems for Konomi’s final climb, she is taking too long to analyse. Is something wrong? Yeah, for the first time she can’t seem to find the right combo. She starts climbing and falls for the first time! Wow. The crowd sounds so disappointed. I guess this proves she isn’t perfect? However time is up so I guess 3 out of 4 climbs is not bad. Even her turn is over, Konomi continues to analyse in her head. This unsolvable puzzle must be solved! But for the rest of the few climbers, none has cleared one ever since. Ooba getting more panicky by the moment. Can she overcome this ‘wall’ known as Konomi?! Don’t get jealous now. Just f*cking climb! It’s Jun’s turn and surprise! She too falls! How the f*ck did Konomi succeed this on her first try?! Ooba’s last ditch attempt by letting out a blood curling scream… I have a feeling it caused a few climbers to drop like flies… But still, didn’t do her any good. Out she goes! Focusing on Jun, the more she climbs, the more she fails. Cue for her flashback, I suppose. As a loner in school because nobody else shares the same climbing passion, a girl tries to support her hobby and even has a go at it. She found it quite fun. However Jun thinks she is just doing this to please her (like how Jun ‘tried’ pleasing others with those trendy girly stuffs but didn’t last long). So she lashed out at her to just go do your own thing. And with that, Jun is back to climbing all alone again. So she thinks climbing is all she has? Wait till she fails to clear the final wall. She just couldn’t climb after her umpteenth drop. Her body is fine but her mind is frozen. Damn, it sounds like the end of the world when Jun couldn’t clear a single wall. Konomi tries to cheer her up but I guess she needs some time alone. And just like that she considers herself a failure of a climber and starts crying… :’(. Oh my, I guess it really is end of the world. Okay, more like end of the road.

Episode 8
Sayo manages to clear 2 walls but on the third, she feels the pain in her middle finger. Most likely muscle tear. She is unable to complete that wall in time. On her final climb, that pain once again immobilizes her. She is about to give up but seeing Nonoka’s worried face, time to change pace. Now she rallies to her to cheer on her. With that, Nonoka and friends start a cacophony of cheers and in turn lead the crowd to start spurring on Sayo. That was weird. In the end, she manages to clear it. So the top 6 for the finals are: 1) Iwamine; 2) Kumagai; 3) Sayo; 4) Konomi; 5) Fujita; 6) Niijima. Wait a minute. Niijima snuck in and beat Samura for the final place?! This girl keeps slipping, but how?! Anyway, Sayo is forced to withdraw because Nonoka won’t stop b*tching about injuring her finger even further. Oh well, Konomi has to shoulder it all for Hanamiya. Now we see Fujita in her usual depression. But then her teammates come to cheer her up and this blows away her blues. We see joker Niijima falling her climb for the 10th time! So we skip her to see Fujita climbing hers successful. Yeah, she overcame whatever her fear was. The fear of living up to expectations of others. Screw that. See, now she climbs way better. Now it is Konomi’s turn. And then… SHE SLIPS AND FALLS!!! OMFG!!! No wonder everybody look so dumbfounded! Damn, this episode skips a lot of climbing action because now we see the prize presentation ceremony! The winner of the individual climb is Fujita! Iwamine takes second place while Niijima takes third. Wait a minute. THIS SLIPPING JOKER MANAGED TO GET A PODIUM FINISH???!!! She even somehow best Kumagai?! I don’t even… Anyway, Kurikawa takes the team championship. Now we see Konomi trying to analyse what went wrong. Why couldn’t she climb? No use moping about it because she’s just going to have to climb more! That’s the spirit. Now that her problem is solved, here’s another one: Looks like Jun has requested to take time off from the club! Gasp. Looks like somebody couldn’t move on… Before Konomi could start feeling guilty of not talking to Jun, Sayo talks about the upcoming Combined Japan High School Cup. She believes Jun will come back by that time because it is their goal. So see you in 6 months, everybody! More training and improvement in the meantime.

Episode 9
Konomi has entered lots of competitions, win them and built her stamina. You bet she is raring to go for the next one. Nearby, Anne is meeting her fans. She recognizes Sayo and goes talk to her. She also recognizes Konomi and then makes a surprise announcement that they will hold an exhibition match. In this match, they have a minute to observe the wall and the fastest to reach the top wins. Konomi doesn’t have enough time to analyse it all but makes a good start. It is only at the final stretch where she is struggling to reach, Anne has already reached the top and even cheering her on to complete it. Konomi finishes and it is a fantastic match of sportsmanship. Later as the duo take it to the shower, Konomi expresses her wish to win it for Hanamiya. But that is when Anne shows her true colours. She laughs and mocks at her dream and that Hanamiya may be over since one of them didn’t show up and probably quitted after that bouldering competition. Shower confrontation continues as Anne is adamant she’ll beat everyone and win the Combined Japan High School Cup. After all, Kokureikan High is another climbing powerhouse. Both girls are fired up to defeat each other. Later Konomi tells this to the rest and they also know that Konomi has realized her speed is her greatest weakness. This brings to mind they have their own speedster specialist. Speaking of her… Jun working part time in a climbing gym? And she’s conducting lessons for young kids? Well, Akane is there too so when b*tch fight starting? Jun tries to keep it simple but the kids don’t understand. Akane makes it easier for kid to understand and they’re all excited. When the kids ask to solve a seemingly hard problem, Akane shifts it to Jun. She’ll climb it for you! Unfortunately Jun can’t climb! She’s frozen at the starting point! You mean she still has trauma?! Oh sh*t. She runs away. Teacher ditching her own class?! Great timing for Konomi to come in to talk to her but since that didn’t work, Akane heard it all and challenges Jun to a contest. If Jun loses, she must quit this job. Not moved? Just say the downfall of Hanamiya and that will get her moving. Akane fails to climb so can Jun do it? Still scared? Time for Akane to make some scathing remarks if Jun is really Jun. Now she could start climbing and realizes her love for climbing in the first place. She finally does it and everybody so happy. Akane must be conflicted her rival is now back up to speed. Oh well, if you want to take down the best, it’s always better when they’re at their top form.

Episode 10
Konomi misses Jun. Don’t look now because she’s back! On to serious business, Konomi tries her hand at speed climbing and does it under 24 seconds. That’s good, right? Only, the average competitors range between 16-17 seconds, pros do it in 12 and the minimum to qualify is 15 seconds. Holy sh*t! Wanna have another go? Not so fast. This isn’t the case of the more you practise, the better you become. So some more stamina and other related training. Despite improving her times, she is still nowhere near qualifying range. But don’t despair, there is a speed climbing training camp organized by Nakata (one of the flamboyant commentators from the tournaments). Oh damn, is this going to be a b*tch camp too because Akane and Ooba are also here. Is Maruno trying to be the third b*tch or is this her way in cultivating rivalry? With the training starts, Konomi finds herself at the bottom. Cue for those b*tches to get back at her. So she’s already depressed? Unexpected motivation from Nakata blabbing his move to get her going. When Konomi tries to analyse and do things her own way, does her time improve? In fact, she gets slower! Damn, she’s truly depressed now?! So when Ooba teases her about being a turtle, Konomi cries! Oh sh*t! Now you’ve done it! You happy now?! Feeling bad, Ooba stops and tries to talk to her but with Konomi still being a pessimistic, some tough love of Ooba slapping her! Gee, I hope she didn’t break her hand… Essentially, Ooba is right that she doesn’t want to lose to this pathetic version of Konomi. The Konomi whom she has worked so hard to defeat. Later, more talk from Jun who relates her own experience of losing out to Konomi. Eventually, the key is to not lose sight of yourself and have more faith in yourself. Next day, Konomi gets back to her usual groove to climb. But then she notices a girl who is climbing so fast just under 13 seconds! Woah. Who this babe?

Episode 11
Konomi goes talk to Mimu Takahashi. She’s quite the lively and friendly girl. They click fast because she too is a gamer and her forte is rhythmic games. So that explains her speed. Tempo is key. Giving her that ta-ta-tan advice (?!) as motivation, Konomi continues her climb with bettering results. Her face off with Ooba is a close one. Despite losing to her by a whisker, it is Konomi’s personal best as she clocks underneath 15 seconds. Watch out you b*tches! Wow. Feeling confident Hanamiya can actually win this, huh? Okay. Better be positive. As Konomi goes to thank Mimu, she realizes her school’s emblem: Kokureikan. Oh yeah. The team to beat… With the training camp over, back to more training at Hanamiya and Kiku volunteers to help them. When Sayo practises and clocks and amazing under 14 seconds, the other girls are amazed but not Nonoka. A private talk has Nonoka lashing out her climb was weird. She knows her finger isn’t fully healed and this could lead to problems in the future if she risks it now. I guess we need some drama as Sayo yells back that she knows it. But she can’t sit back while watching the others improve. It gets so intense that Nonoka starts crying-cum-screaming inaudible baby language words?! WTF???!!! Long story short, she promises to lead the team to victory. With that, Sayo announces she won’t be taking part. Thank goodness this is a team sport, right? The Combined Japan High School Cup is here. Wow. So many participants. 140 of them. It’s going to be a mammoth task to whittle down to just 20. Before the usual b*tches can do their usual b*tching to Konomi and Hanamiya, here comes the biggest b*tch powerhouse of them all: Kokureikan. The number 1 favourites to win it all. With the overwhelming participants, they are divided into 2 blocks as we see Hanamiya slaying the game with the bouldering section, taking top spot. Next up is speed. Not to rain on your parade but on the other block, the top 6 speedy participants are from Kokureikan with Anne on the summit. Yeah… Good to have reality check sometimes. Then we see Konomi just decimating Maruno and leaving her in the dust. Did she even start when Konomi just finished???!!! No time for small fries. Anne’s the big fish to catch!

Episode 12
We see Anne’s climbs. A reminder she’s the one to beat! No wonder she is running away with top spot. Oh Konomi, don’t let all the fans cheering for Anne intimidate you. Just focus! So eventually the top 20 who progress are among those favourites we anticipate. But I guess one of them isn’t Akane since she is saying to our Hanamiya climbers that they have to postpone their challenge next time. Aww… Sad cat face… Now we see Anne’s dark side, the reason she goes all out here is so that she could break everyone’s spirits that they’ll never climb again! Mean… During the speed climb, it is Anne facing off with Konomi. Oh damn, Anne singing a cursed lullaby to her?! Anyway, it ends with Anne beating her by 2 seconds! More fuel for Anne to sing her cursed lullaby to her. Don’t fall for her b*tch trap… Stay focused… The rankings so far: 1) Anne; 2) Mimu; 3) Fujita; 4) Iwamine; 5) Jun… Konomi is down in 10th place. Not bad but again, don’t let Anne’s intimidation ruin your climb! The final climb is lead climbing in which participants have 1 chance to scale as high as they can. Many of our favourites fail along the way. Time for Anne to strut her stuff. Just before the final rock, she slips! Oh well. Nobody is perfect. Even so, because of her distance, she currently sits in provisional top spot. Time for a little Hanamiya team building spirit before we see their climb. First up is Jun. Not bad but she still falls short. Next is Nonoka. Looking at this shorty climb is hilarious! Stretch STRECTH!!! But I guess all those lessons from Sayo paid off. She climbed slightly higher than Jun before falling. Finally it’s Konomi. She thinks back all her friends and rivals. Long story short, she finally makes it! The only one who finishes the climb! Who’s not impressed now, Anne?! Thanks to this Hanamiya usurps Kokureikan in the team category!!! Though, individually it is Anne who wins followed by Konomi, Iwamine, Jun, Fujita, Mimu, Nonoka, etc…

Top Wo Nerae! Up, Up & Away!
Wow. That’s it?! It suddenly just ends like that?! Oh well. I can see why. Don’t want to dedicate 1 lousy episode or even half an episode or heck, just 5 minutes to say all the ending and closing statements from the characters. The fight is now on! We will continue to fight to be the best in Japan! And the world! You know, the usual drill. That would be so predictable and boring. So I guess by preventing Kokureikan having a clean sweep, they have made Anne swallow her own words and that’s all to it at least for this season. So yeah, never look down at others! Because karma sure loves to come bite you back in some ways. Now Hanamiya can go conquer the rest of the world! Yeah, it does feel like that when you’re on top.

The story seems pretty cliché and generic. After all, this is a sports themed anime so how different can they go? Either you have an underdog team that participates in a tournament that gives the more established powerhouse a run for their money. Or in this case you also have a powerhouse team (but to a lesser degree) but a new member of the sport showing some prodigal skills because why not, shows a lot of potential at first attempts, gives stronger teams a run for their money, but still has some weaknesses so as to give room for improvement and more sports related drama, till the next time the big guns meet and challenge each other in the next tournament. Yeah, that’s as exciting it can get.

Now you’re wondering about the fanservice level, right? Yes there are but it is not as blatantly obvious as stereotypically fanservice-y sports. The camera angles do show the buttocks and breast areas of the females but this is seemingly not very noticeable especially during the heat of the climb. Unless you specifically wait for that moment then you might notice. Pervert. Otherwise, the shots will be fast enough to move on to the next scene. With many of the female characters having strong biceps, triceps, abdominal abs, all those muscles will overpower and overshadow those boobs (fat muscles?!). I mean, come to think of it, now that I realized, I don’t think I know which of the girls has the biggest bust size! It never occurred to me! So seeing the girls climb, all I saw was just strong arm and thigh muscles and didn’t notice about the boobs or ass. Is this anime good or what in hiding its fanservice factor?! Or I am not such a big pervert as I think I am!!! Haha. Is it no wonder they don’t showcase the male section of the sport? Is there any in the first place?!

As for the sport itself, I believe that everything that has been said here is just introductory. If you are hooked and feel more interested to take up this sport, feel free to do more self-research once you are done with the anime. There will be more technical terms and jargons that may blow your mind but as far as this anime is concerned, it is just touching the surface. I mean, they don’t want to bore us with all the lexicons, right? We’re here to see muscular girls climbing! Oh yeah. I think most of us will be pretty much gone after finishing the series rather than go into the climbing sport itself. So don’t worry if you don’t understand any ‘complicated’ terms here, I assure you there are enough basic explanations that are itself simple enough to get you through. Now can we get back to ogling at the girls?!

Character wise, pretty cliché and generic. Konomi as the main character is your typical main character genius. As one who has no goals or anything specific in life, she chances upon something that gives her that much needed adrenaline rush. Oddly, rock climbing. Now that she has the passion in this sport, you see her exerting her talent and surpassing those who have been in the industry for donkey years. The only weird thing I find about her is her transition as a puzzle gamer otaku to one that is now into a physically demanding sport. I know it is not impossible but the way she transitions into one in such a short time, so unbelievable. I mean, puzzle gamer -> rock climber. I don’t see the freaking obvious connection here! I suppose it is for variety and amusement so that we can see her expend her puzzle expertise into rock climbing. Which is pretty weird and I don’t see the freaking obvious connection either! It is as good as saying I love playing racing video games and now I can become a pro racer in real life. Not impossible but still… And then I use the visuals and analysis of me driving through the virtual track and employ it in the real race. Weird…

Then you have Jun who is another newbie on the rise. She is more serious but like Konomi also has her own issues to deal with. But the way I see Konomi and Jun have as their biggest issue is their personal self-confidence and motivation. I know it is good to think like a champion but one small little failure and setback and they’re acting like it’s the end of the world. Feeling down is okay but the way they go into depression is like a very serious case. Thankfully, just a few simple words or actions to remind them what their main goal is, they’re back in action. There. There’s your much needed character drama for dramatization effect since we can’t have 100% climbing all the way.

Nonoka feels like the weakest link among the Hanamiya quartet and I claim her short stature is part of the reason. The same reason why tall players have more advantage in basketball. As the obstacle course gets tougher and the one who sets it might be setting it on devilishly nightmare mode just to get some kicks, being unable to stretch and reach out further might be the deciding factor if she could make it or not. Otherwise if she can’t proceed further into the tournament, she’s always the backup supporter and cheerleader that you can count on. Sayo as the team leader, she’s pretty cool but due to the recent injury, we don’t see much of her in action. So I guess now it’s her turn to play the supporting role. It would be too suspicious if everybody from Hanamiya starts doing too well. Why do I have this feeling Kiku is their backup, like as though when the time is right, she’ll join Hanamiya since her master is on that team.

As for the other characters, well, pretty cliché themselves too. First and foremost, we need to have b*tch rivals so as to ramp up the drama. Because it wouldn’t be exciting if everybody was just nice and friendly or at the level of friendliness like Mimu. Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun at all. So with a handful of b*tches like Ooba, Akane, Maruno and even Anne herself, this ramps up the much needed rivalry in this sport because how otherwise are you going to grow? The best way is to prove your enemies wrong and make them eat their words by beating them in their own game. That’s the best revenge. And who knows? They might just be playing the villain for all you know. But as far as we can see for now, playing the b*tch may be so that we can support Hanamiya further because they’re the only team with very nice people. Not that we even know the other lesser members of other teams at all. Like as though they’re just there for the numbers. Get what I’m saying?

Other rivals like Fujita, to show us they aren’t perfect despite being the top, have their own insecurities as well. Don’t we all. We’re so glad they’re just humans like us. But the rest feels like weirdoes like Iwamine who is just some weird pervert in her own ways. Funnily, many of their nicknames take after animals. So why don’t I see one who is a nicknamed after a monkey?! I mean, one of the first animals that would come to mind that are good in climbing trees are monkeys, right?! What do you mean that feels like a derogatory term?! What about a sloth then?! You mean it gives off that slow and lazy perception?! Okay. Whatever. Yeah, I’m surprised nobody here is a scaling dragon or a flying unicorn!

One thing I find a little annoying about the series is how some of the characters get really fast depressed. Looking especially at you, Konomi. I understand this is done for dramatic effect but come on, I thought you girls were being realistic? I know you girls are better than a hell lot of other nameless climbers who only serve as extras and the numbers but I thought they should know better than to mope and get depressed like as though it is the end of the world. I mean, Konomi plays puzzle games, right? She only gets good after lots of failures. Hence she should know about failing the first few times. So I don’t understand why she’s so depressed after her first failed attempt in so many cases. Oh yeah. Dramatic effect. Got to see them grow… And with just the right words, they’re back to climbing their usual. Gotta thank dramatic effect for all that because otherwise the anime would be so boring without drama and rival b*tches. Yeah…

Art and animation are pretty okay. I mean, what else can you expect? It’s not really a fast paced sports technically (like F1 racing in that sense) so I guess the animation is pretty acceptable. Character designs, I thought some of them look a bit familiar. Like Kumagai. I thought this is what Chun Li from Street Fighter franchise would have been had she not been thunder thighs. Seriously. And why does she always have this pouting mouth?! Is that a permanent feature on her face? Then there is Fujita who reminds me of the titular character of a retro anime, Suzuka. Strangely, Fujita was from the athletics just like Suzuka. Did Evangelion’s Asuka decide to go into competitive climbing? Because that’s what I thought who Anne was. Same case for Kiku. Did Date A Live’s Origami quit her AST for this? Iwamine has a strange mouth that makes me think that she might be some cursed demonic doll waiting to pound on unsuspecting victims. This anime is done by Blade who animated Chinese based series like Cheating Craft and Gin No Guardian II.

Voice acting, it is nice to hear Yukari Tamura as Anne as she is in her very trademark squeaky voice. Cool Kurusu! Others whom I recognized are Takehito Koyasu as Juzo and Ami Koshimizu as Asuka. Other casts are Sumire Uesaka as Konomi (Shalltear in Overlord), Yui Ishikawa as Jun (Mikasa in Shingeki No Kyojin), Aina Suzuki as Sayo (Mari in Love Live! Sunshine), Miyu Tomita as Nonoka (titular character in Gabriel Dropout), Sayaka Harada as Kiku (Porta in Okaa-san Online), Mikako Komatsu as Iwamine (Neko in K), Akane Fujita as Akane (Kaiko in Imouto Sae Ireba Ii), Chihiro Ueda as Fujita (Masaru in Karakuri Circus), Machico as Ooba (Hikari in Rifle Is Beautiful), Sachi Kokuryu as Kumagai (Arthur in Nanatsu No Taizai), Yumiri Hanamori as Maruno (Seth in Radiant), Yuka Terasaki as Kaoru (Hephaestus in DanMachi) and Sachika Misawa as Mimu (Black Snow in Accel World).

Both the opening and ending themes, Motto Takaku by Aina Suzuki and Let’s Climb by the Hanamiya quartet are both lively and befitting the sports genre of this series. So if you ever needed some workout music as motivation, both can be great substitutes for that. Also, there are lots of techno BGMs and other nice and fluid ones that befit a sports genre. Again, giving you the motivated feel and pumping your adrenaline while watching the sport. Quite nice and fitting if I should say.

Overall, I guess this series isn’t that bad despite its very cliché and average storyline and characters. But only if you’re a fan of rock climbing and its competitive variants, you may enjoy watching this anime. But that’s hard to say since you’ll be out there climbing the wall rather than sitting here watching this. Also, the not very obvious fanservice makes watching the anime series more palatable. Now we can give an extra excuse that we were admiring those absolute fantastic muscles of the participants! So girls with muscles are okay for fanservice, huh? Maybe we should try bodybuilding and weight lifting, an anime version of an all-female cast! Ugh. Too much muscles. Okay then. Maybe I’ll go back to beach volleyball and jet skiing for a more ‘softer muscle’ instead ;p.

Rail Romanesque

Are you old enough to remember what steam engine trains look like? Sad to say, they are going out of fashion today’s modern era although not totally extinct yet. So in a dying industry, what can they do to help keep themselves afloat? Well, according to Rail Romanesque, we have such trains personified as cute humanoid girls who have gathered to pitch in their knowledge and wisdom on how to sell unique train merchandise!!! WTF?! You heard that right. Train girls trying to sell train related products. So take out your wallets and get ready to throw away the dough for those merchs! Hey, they thought real hard about it, you know!

Episode 1
As explained, Raillords are humanoid dolls who operate control modules for railroad trains. With the age of railways on the decline, I guess they need to do something about it. Hence Suzushiro hosts the first Raillords Summit. But those who attend are only Kakaa, Shirogane, Ran, Kiko, Beni, Riiko, Iyo and Suika. Though, they are perplexed that they got the invitation from Hachiroku and Reina but them themselves didn’t turn up. Suzushiro then shows a short video apology that they have to participate in some meeting with humans. So for now, our Raillords will be discussing revolutionary ideas that will usher a new era for them. And that is… Producing merchandise!

Episode 2
Shouldn’t they discuss about how to get more passengers? Oh whatever. Selling goods sounds interesting to them too. They’re on board this merch thingy. Suzushiro starts off with a flow chart on what to do and the next step is to form groups in which they’ll do brainstorming in a breakout session. Since they will take turns, for those groups who aren’t up yet, Suzushiro suggests going sightseeing around Ohitoyo City. The first summit is successful as they celebrate. By eating coal!!! Oh well… Suzushiro is happy the groups are getting well along with each other.

Episode 3
So the first session is in place with Riiko and Iyo. Unfortunately they have no ideas! Better come up with something or they can’t leave. Riiko has an idea about a temple near some railway line that is famous for its tanuki charms. However she points out the real charm is some beetle! Eww! Bugs! As she explains how it can climb up glass windows without slipping, this has Suzushiro relate to how sand pipes are used as breaks to stop steam engine wheels from slipping. Hence, an anti-slipping charm string! Oh yeah. This is going to sell. Meanwhile we see Kakaa and Suika visiting the shrine as the former explains the different types of torii. Suika has sketched a picture of Kakaa praying there. Kakaa is impressed and if she wants it, she can draw a more refined one. Please do.

Episode 4
Iyo’s suggestion is sweat towels? When a dragonfly lands nearby, it may look new to others but for bug loving Riiko, it is pretty much a daily affair. This gives them the idea of selling photos of engineers using those towels. While it might look ordinary to engineers, it is something new for customers. With their session done, they are free so Riiko takes Iyo to some bug spot. Spinning things attract some butterflies? A special dragonfly lands on Iyo’s bell so Riiko believes because of her, they are able to meet.

Episode 5
It’s the next session with Kiko and Beni. Beni is adamant to come up with a better product so as to prove to Reina to admit that she is good. But Kiko comes up with her idea of heat proof mittens with a steam locomotive seal. Enough to even withstand burning coal! Who the f*ck wants to hold burning coal???!!! Meanwhile we see Riiko and Iyo sightseeing but as expected, Riiko prefers hunting bugs. And Riiko loves having Iyo around since bugs are somewhat attracted to the latter.

Episode 6
Beni comes up with an idea using Satsuma Kiriko cut glass. However she can’t add any railroad theme to it. So they brainstorm glass parts on certain locomotives until it occurs to them the wonderful idea of using that cut glass as a gauge water bottle. Meanwhile, Ran and Shirogane are at the Ohitoyo Railroad shop to check out the various train themed goods on display as well as to get some ideas of their own.

Episode 7
Ran and Shirogane tell all the places they visited to Suzushiro. Since it’s their turn to brainstorm, Ran has problems coming up with a new railway bento. Seeking Shirogane’s advice, she talks about water supply heater and this gives Ran an amazing idea as she designs a bento using water bottle as the water supply heater. So great an idea that Ran wants to repay Shirogane in some romantic way? She’s making Shirogane feeling weird… Meanwhile Kiko and Beni are at a blacksmith shop. Beni learns and forges her own knife. This will be useful when she makes her own merchandise.

Episode 8
As Shirogane prepares to tell her idea, she thinks she has misplaced it. It is some cylinder part made of chocolate as a testament of some precision manufacturing. With the rest noticing other parts and how assembly is required, this gives Shirogane an idea to come up with self-assembled chocolates! Assemble the chocolates? Damn, I’ll just eat it all! Disassembled in my mouth, haha! Meanwhile we see Kakaa showing Suika around Ohitoyo. Suika drawing comparisons of the city compared to hers back in China. She hopes to invite Kakaa tour her hometown when the time comes. When they retire? How long will that be?!

Episode 9
Kakaa talks about people who buy tickets for some boat steering experience can keep the ticket as souvenir. Then she shows an expensive silk wallet. I don’t think this can be produced cheaply. This has Suika want a ticket holder but because a ticket is so long, it can’t really fit. So just make it longer! Which means they can use the silk material to make a better higher quality ticket holder and selling it at higher price! Oh yeah! Gotta love capitalism! Meanwhile Ran and Shirogane are visiting an old coal mine. Not sure about how this black piece of lump is the future. Trains are all electric powered now, right? I don’t know, cue for some weird Ran-Shirogane yuri romance, I guess.

Episode 10
Suika has her traditional fan. Its shape looks like a train garage but she is sad that this doesn’t sell well back in China. You see, ordinary people don’t know how such garages look like because those are considered as military facilities. But don’t get disheartened. Suika notes the people love the trains themselves and as she pinpoints certain train series, it gives her the idea of making a list of those series and put it on the fan. So are you a fan of fans? Meanwhile we see Kiko and Beni tugging in for the night. Kiko has he own canopy bed. Beni loves how comfy it is but when Kiko hints some yuri sh*t, whoops, Beni is out of here! But eventually this won’t happen because Beni forgot the pillows.

Episode 11
With the sessions over, Suzushiro presents a short message from Hachiroku. She congratulates everyone for their hard work. That’s it. Disappointed? Suzushiro has taken the liberty to give them various souvenirs of Ohitoyo. The main one is a box where they can paint whatever they want on it and put all their mementos in it. So they get creative and leave the paint to dry. In the meantime, it’s time to soak in the hot bath! Oh yeah. Nearly forgot they got this fanservice capability! I guess this the best mementos for us!

Episode 12
The summit might be over but Suzushiro has everyone join in and take part in the Ohitoyo Maitetsu Festival. Once that is done, Suzushiro hands them their painted boxes and they’re free to go. Once everyone has left, Suzushiro feels lonely as she thinks it will be another decade before everyone can meet again. But what’s this? They return. Looks like all of them decide to give her a token they made as a special commemoration of this encounter. In short, they’ll always be together forever. And so it’s not over yet since they want Suzushiro to become their tour guide of the place. Gladly.

To Aru Kaka Gakkari No Raillords…
Oh my… How can this get another season?! I mean, REALLY???!!! Yup, when I say things like that, it means it is bad. Very bad. So I guess this also means that we viewers can’t leave poor Suzushiro alone and come back and watch this series for nostalgic purposes. Heh. If we ever want to do that! Okay, okay. Don’t want to make these Raillords cry and make unnecessary enemies out of lolicons everywhere. Fine. I’ll give them another chance when the next season arrives. Sheesh.

I read online the many comments claiming why this series is such a disappointment was that they thought it was going to be an adaptation of the game, Maitetsu. Surprisingly it is not. As far as I understand, this series takes place in the aftermath of the game, hence many were disappointed that their favourite elements and characters from the game were not featured. Like as though it is all an afterthought. Hey, I never played the game, let alone heard of it till this series popped up, and I am sure as hell as disappointed as those who are casual or hardcore fans! I’m not sure if the prior announcement tricked and trolled people about being Maitetsu’s adaptation or if it is just people’s assumption that they thought it would be its adaptation when it was not obviously mentioned in the first place.

Either way, this series came out bad and boring. The only thing I am grateful for is that since it is not exactly and directly related to Maitetsu, we can still cut this abomination off and not directly effect and bring a bad name to that name. Hopefully, the next season will see a total revamp or a change. Otherwise, the train wreck will continue. Just switching from a rail that leads to a deep ravine to another rail that leads to a bottomless abyss. With crocodiles lurking in below… Yeah…

But as far as this anime is concerned, I don’t how the producers get the idea of having Raillords coming up of merchandises to be sold to be anything near exciting. Sure, if this was in some planning stage that happens during some meeting behind closed doors, fine. Whatever. But to showcase us a bunch of steam engine trains personified as cute girls pitching in their ideas for a big majority of the series? What were they thinking?! My guts tell me that the selling point is the cute girls and not the whatever ideas they come up with. Not sure if those ideas already existed or if whoever in the production team came up with them have any ideas to sell them to railroad companies, but it seems pretty much wasted showcasing them here.

I mean, in 3 minutes of running time, I can’t believe the Raillords can come up with something so perfect as a merchandise! I scratched my head for months to come up with something and eventually gave up! Wasted time. Wasted brain power and effort. And yeah, it sounds like BS when they could just come up with it perfectly in the sense that it already sounded like a finished product! Maybe they skipped the boring fine details of tidying up the finer details but they sure made it look like they have that moment of brilliance in an instant. Oh damn. And here I am wondering why the train business isn’t doing so well in Japan, at least where this fictitious city of Ohitoyo is. Is it me or do I noticed that the city is void of people?! Except for the last episode where everyone just suddenly pops up for the festival, I noticed that during the sessions while other Raillords go visit places, there is not a soul around. Oh damn, you bet this place needs more than Raillords merchandises to keep it going. It needs tourism!!!

As for the characters, they’re pretty much disappointing and weak. I mean, how far can you go with just 3 minutes? Even if the mid-intermission has laid out a lot of details about a particular Raillord, it means nothing if you don’t really care or want to relate to any of them. Unless you’re a big fan of a certain Raillord but that’s another matter. Yeah. Great bio-data. So what, right? And having a pair of them to flaunt their brilliance and cute stuffs in just 3 minutes, like I said, this must have been the selling point of this series. So much so at the end of the day, I still cannot remember any of the Raillords by name. Pop up a picture of them and my mind will go blank trying to recall their name. Heck, I don’t think I remember some of their names at all!

The only one I remember is Suzushiro since she appears in every episode as the host of the sessions. Even so, she fails to captivate and the way she acts as a host, it’s like as though she is just canvasing for ideas. I don’t mean to see her in a negative light but the way she accepts the Raillords’ ideas sometimes feels like as though she is desperate. Aha! Great idea! That will do! After all, I have got to assume that times are bad so any idea is a good idea. Never try, never know. Also, Suzushiro is trying to be a nice host and motivate the Raillords for those ideas so yeah. Next time your toddler kid achieves something like putting the dishes in the sink, oh damn, it’s a helluva big deal! Time to celebrate this achievement! Uh huh. Now I understand and get the feel of what Suzushiro’s role is.

So the sessions of coming up with ideas takes a very short while and in fact is just half of the entire series. That’s like 1.5 minutes of the episode itself. Wow. They really rush through the brainstorming session, huh? What I want to say is that once they get this part out of the way, the second part sees the other pairs who are not involved in the session, going around doing their sightseeing thingy and in a way, bond closer to each other. I don’t know, it sometimes feel like they are running close to the yuri line. Damn, if Raillords get hot and steamy with each other, I bet many would throw their money for this service! Oh sh*t! Shady and sleazy but it brings in the cash! Anyway, what I’m also trying to say here for this part is that they try to showcase the bond between those 2 Raillords but eventually with the screen time so short, it hardly brings about anything. I only remember Riiko and her bugs because she’s a retard who likes insects. Hey. Not bad. I just remembered 1 Raillord! Hooray! Achievement!

Speaking of that Ohitoyo City, I tried to Google about it but it seems I can’t find any results about it and hence confirmed my suspicions that it is only a fictitious city (since results of Maitetsu keeps popping up, duh). The way they showcase some of its places of interests feels like they are promoting a real city, which could’ve been great had Ohitoyo City been a real one. Not sure what city in Japan they modelled after but I suppose as a foreigner who thinks he has known a lot of Japanese things after watching ‘a lot’ of animes, I believe every city or town in Japan is well, just like that. Oh yeah. Japan is Japan. How else could it be more different than that?

Art and animation are rather okay. The cute Raillords are one thing but I also have to give it to them for putting in the quality in the sceneries. So if the merchandises of the Raillords won’t get your attention, perhaps the picturesque sceneries will. As for the Raillords design, I guess they’re pretty cute (Raillolis could’ve been…) and standard with a few variations here and there. After all, they have to look like they are train conductors that sometimes look like military outfits. I bet I want to see their futuristic counterparts like the modern electric trains like Shinkansen in a more daring, sexy and futuristic outfits against but that is just wishful thinking of mine. This anime is animated by Saetta who did Jingai-san No Yome.

Overall, this short series is pretty forgettable and hopefully the next season will bring some sort of redemption. Trying to make cute characters come up with sellable merchandises seem so out of place and boring. After all, they might think it is a great idea but will the consumer eventually buy it? They may think otherwise, though. Somebody in the marketing and promotion not doing their job, that’s why these poor cuties have to step in and do something about the money, which isn’t really their job in the first place. They should’ve just been there at their trains, flashing their sweet cutie smiles to us instead of coming up with things that probably no one wants. Otherwise I would rather throw my money at that Transformers’ Team Bullet Train Autobot trio retro toys. Or one of those Lego train sets. But definitely don’t want Thomas & Friends! This is getting off track…

100-man No Inochi No Ue Ni Ore Wa Tatteiru

Oh. It’s time for one of those isekai or super virtual game anime again. Yes, once more, humans from our world whisked away to another strange world to complete missions and must stay alive because death is so real that you could die. Heh. That make extra sense to you? And it even sounds more brutal when the title goes 100-man No Inochi No Ue Ni Ore Wa Tatteiru. Meaning, looks like somebody has to be doing lots of killing and piling up the body count to clear the mission and game. Whose kill count is going to reach a million?! Is this going to be a bloody bloodbath royal battle survival game? Well…

Episode 1
Yuusuke Yotsuya hates his life. Hates his normal school life. Even hates Tokyo, the place he lives in. So video games are his only love, huh? One day while staying back after class because he is on cleaning duties, suddenly some weird poltergeist phenomenon and before he knows it, he is transported to another world! He recognizes his classmates before him, Iu Shindou and Kusue Hakozaki. They are thrilled to get a guy this time. Now pops up the Game Master who quickly tells them their next quest is to fulfil the village chief’s request in 14 days. For each quest they complete, they will gain 1 new member until they have 10 members to complete the final quest. As Shindou is a wind wizard and Hakozaki a sword warrior, Game Master spins the wheel to select Yotsuya’s occupation… A FARMER?! Such disappointment. The girls explain briefly about this world but Yotsuya is still puzzled if this is all real or just a game. They stumble into goblins but being a farmer, Yotsuya’s farming tool breaks! Shindou’s wind is too weak but Hakozaki being the meek girl she is, is too scared! Yotsuya discovers that despite he can die, he will revive 30 seconds later. He uses this tactic until he kills the goblin. However after that as Shindou points out, if all the members die and none are alive at any moment, the entire team dies for real! Woah… Better be careful. As they camp out, Yotsuya asks the reward for completing each quest that Game Master said. It is to ask him a question but so far the questions they asked him, he gave very vague answers. Later that night, they are being attacked by a giant troll. Hakozaki is half eaten and Shindou just got swallowed! Yikes! Shingeki No Kyojin trauma?! Anyway, Yotsuya knows he can’t take on that thing and takes Hakozaki to run. Don’t want them all to die now. Next morning, it seems Hakozaki left hand isn’t healed. Most probably it got eaten. This means if they don’t rescue Shindou, she’ll be dead for real? They head to the village and it seems the chief’s request is for them to take down that troll! Oh boy. Yotsuya thinks he is the only one who can do this alone and goes to level up himself but tells Hakozaki straight that helping will only get into his way. Hakozaki feels sad because it looks like Yotsuya is the kind of player who abandons his comrades to die while he goes to take all the glory!

Episode 2
As Yotsuya kills goblins to level up, he sees a log point that allows him to see things that happen in that spot for a certain period of time. How convenient. This means watching the girls talking about nominating Yotsuya as the next guy. Are they in love with him? Well, thing is, there is another guy by the same name in his grade who is a much more popular guy and a pro footballer. Too bad the vision gets cut off so we’ll have to wait and see next time. He then realizes Hakozaki’s stats are dead. The village under attack! Heading back, how convenient another log point to see what happened. Hakozaki practising like mad because in real life she has a weak body and feels bad for burdening others. Then she gets eaten while she buys time for everyone to run. This makes Yotsuya realize his own selfishness ever since he came to this world. Correction. He has been like that his entire life. You bet he wants to do something but all he can do now is just keep running from the troll! How long can he run? As luck would have it, he kills the final goblin, enabling him to level up. Game Master now spins the will for his next occupation… A CHEF?! Damn… But at least he has a knife and his ability is to see innards. He cuts open the troll’s stomach. With all that juice flowing out, it’s safe to say Shindou and Hakozaki revive. Yotsuya has figured out the troll’s attacking pattern. Although they take turns to attack and die, the gap between their deaths eventually get lesser and lesser. It’s still not good enough to take the troll down. Then Yotsuya gets this idea by bursting inside its guts, slash everything before Shindou uses her wind power to blast everything out. That was easy. The quest is successful and all of them rank up. Game Master then allows a question to be asked. Yotsuya thinks hard and finally asks, after the final 10th quest, what will they do? Game Master shows them a future, possibility the future of Tokyo decimated. Our trio are then faced with a giant monster. That’s all the sneak preview. Next thing they know, they are back in class and time has hardly moved ever since they went to the other world. Yotsuya walks home as he ponders they really need to clear other quests or they’ll die for real but then the thought of abandoning the quest, there is a chance the Tokyo he hates will be destroyed… Hmm…

Episode 3
On his way home, Yotsuya gets a call from Game Master about his next escort mission. He leads him to a nearby girls’ toilet! What does he see? A few girls trying to bully and film another! First thing Yotsuya does is to break all their handphones! Oh sh*t! Brutal! This freaks the bullies out that they run away while threatening to call the cops. After flushing evidence down the toilet, Yotsuya escorts Yuka Tokitate home. Wait a minute. Yotsuya thinks his bravery will land him this hot chick as his girlfriend?! IS HE SERIOUS?! Because all the while, Tokitate thinks he is a creepy pervert and hopes he bugs off! Anyway, she reveals why she was being bullied. Perhaps it was something she shouldn’t have said. Something about a girl who puts up a nice act with boys and the bullies thought she was talking about them despite Tokitate didn’t even mention any names. It gets weird since she starts crying but then she recommends him a reverse harem game since what he did then looked familiar to the actions of the protagonist of that game. And so Yotsuya wasted 2 weeks of his life… Then he and the usual gang gets summoned to the game world. As expected, Tokitate is there and like any newbie is confused. Game Master spins the wheel and she will be a heat wizard. Their revival time will also be 10 seconds longer. Tokitate was a bit crude in her explanation about Yotsuya. Essentially painting him a perverted stalker. Now the rest keep their distance. But later she tells the whole truth to Shindou and to her surprise, Shindou believes her. Shindou explains how she prevented herself being bullied. Does she not fear of losing friends? In that case, they aren’t worthy as friends to begin with. Tokitate is so impressed at how strong she is. So you wanna marry her???!!! The gang fights off a giant centipede that throws pillbugs that stuck to your face like those Alien face huggers. Yeah, that’ll kill you instantly! Tokitate thought it’s her time to show off being a wizard (a childhood dream) but her lowly level means she runs out of power fast and gets killed. In the end, it is Yotsuya who helps guide Hakozaki use her sword to kill the monsters. We see Shindou’s flashback of being a tomboy when she was young, beating up kids who talk bad about her. She befriends a high school girl named Sayuri and treats her like her big sister. Unfortunately she died. Worse, she overheard their fathers talking bad about Sayuri being ugly (WTF?! YOU CALL THAT UGLY?!) and they even hint loli Shindou was prettier! OMFG!!! WHAT THE HELL???!!! Worse of all, they claim having an ugly face makes you end up dead! So Shindou wakes up from this nightmare. Yotsuya still awake during his training. Suddenly Shindou pleads to him to save her.

Episode 4
Shindou further narrates Sayuri killed herself by jumping off a building. It seems she was a victim of bullying too. Shindou’s turn came soon but luckily she had friends to help her. That’s when she learnt friends are her strength and that she herself is responsible for changing her own world so that she wouldn’t end up like Sayuri. That’s why when she first came to this world, she was scared because she was stripped of everything. She pleads Yotsuya’s help to save her. Their next quest will have them go to Radodorbo, a town located at the edge of the western continent. It’ll take the fastest a month for them to get there. Nobody can spare them any horses but luckily, there’s a martial arts tournament in which horses are the grand prize. As they practice, they are ambushed by bandits. WTF, because they are humans they cannot attack them and will have their experience points reduced?! This game sucks! They retreat but realize Shindou isn’t with them. Oh dear. She could be captured. But that is when Yotsuya thinks that they should continue with their mission because only 1 of them is needed to clear the quest. The girls don’t like it even if Yotsuya claims this is his way of helping Shindou. So it is decided Yotsuya will go to the tournament while the girls rescue Shindou. Unfortunately the girls get captured too! Yotsuya trains hard till he levels up. What will he be now? An animal wizard, huh? But his stats are still low. In the tournament, Yotsuya loses in the first round! In 5 seconds! To a female knight named Kahvel! Yotsuya tries to get her to help by lending horses but it seems he needs to help with some work. What work is equivalent to getting horses? I don’t know. Taking out the bandits’ hideout seems legit. Before that, Kahvel trains Yotsuya with the sword but he still sucks. The knights ambush the bandits’ hideout. Obviously the knights are superior so they release a berserker to go berserk. Kahvel relishes fighting it because she loves cutting things up! That’s why she became a knight instead of a housewife!!! But still she is no match for berserker. Yotsuya uses his animal prowess to distract it but gets killed off in 1 blow. But this is enough for Kahvel to slice of his head. Yotsuya’s girls are rescued and despite losing the tournament, Kahvel has a proposal. She and some of her men will escort them to Radodorbo but in return they must give them their horse upon arrival (who gave it to them?!) and she wants to sword train all of them. Better than nothing.

Episode 5
Hakozaki narrates how she isn’t good in sports and because she wants to help find a medicine to cure her ailing mom, she tried medicine. She promised to study hard to get a scholarship since her parents can’t even afford it. But playing this game changed her. Especially the massacre of the bandits. Her basic prerequisites for living changed completely since. Instead of saving lives, she has to kill to keep herself alive. She tries to look at the positive side of being trapped in this game system. First thing she does is to level. By that she means practising with Kahvel. Be prepared to be ripped to pieces… When goblins attack, it’s your standard massacre affair. But Hakozaki makes her first bloody kill and goes into shock. Well, she’s apologizing to the goblin she killed… This is going to take a while. Then after hearing Kahvel’s twisted story why she likes to cut flesh, Hakozaki realizes the need for her to do the same if she’s going to survive. While continuing their travel, they spot in a distance a travelling group being attacked by kobolds. Normally they don’t want to waste time as they need to hurry to Radodorbo. However Hakozaki insists she can’t leave someone in need. There’d be no point if she abandons someone. Yotsuya snickers at her weird comment but realizes Game Master could be watching and that caravan might be travelling to Radodorbo. It could be some event. He suggests splitting up the group. The rest continue to Radodorbo while Yotsuya and Hakozaki go fight the kobolds. Too bad the kobolds are stronger and outnumber them and Hakozaki instantly dies! Yotsuya tries some tricks but they’re ineffective and he too dies. During the respawning, Hakozaki has thought a lot. This time she is trickier. Provoking a kobold to get close enough so she summons her heavy sword to stab it. Like killing 2 birds with a stone. Yotsuya also gets tricky, luring one towards Kahvel to let her cut some meat! Hey, I thought they’re headed to Radodorbo? Anyway in the aftermath, the group learn they are actually heading to Radodorbo. However these are heretics who are to be hung at Radodorbo. As they reel from the shock, they realize that these heretics might be the ‘goods’ that need to be delivered as part of the quest. Hence the dilemma if they take them there, they will be killed. Is it okay for people to die as a result of their actions? Is this event even part of the quest?

Episode 6
Kahvel disagree’s with Kamilto (camel toe what?!) who is the captain of the guards about executing the prisoners. Upon finding out they are from different kingdoms with very different religious stance, they are ready to go at each other but Shindou stops them so Yotsuya calls for a meeting. It is deliberated that they should just continue their journey till Radodorbo and along the way they’ll figure out something. Yeah. That should work. That night when they camp, Yotsuya who needs some info, talks to the missionary, Fofcel. He talks about this world divided into those who believe in solely the king and those who believe in both king and God. Basically religion caused wars on both sides. Then they talk to Kamilto on his side of the story. He believes his king is doing good to help the weak by trying to unify the country. This of course includes having slaves for each of his people. This doesn’t sit well with Tokitate and before she could dare him to fight her and he’s just on the edge of anger, the rest hold them back and do some damage control. The journey continues and they reach a mountain pass. Using this route, our heroes will barely reach Radodorbo in the nick of time. But Kamilto knows a faster route. In this secret underground pathway filled with weird contraptions, it seems he tricks them to be trapped here while he runs off with the prisoners. This pathway is filled with traps. First traps with big hammers swinging across the path so obvious. Clues are so obvious and easy, no wonder Yotsuya could stop them in time. Next trap is a little more erratic and he gets killed off! Yeah, he is stuck at the bottom. The only way out is to make footholds in the wall and climb out. How long will that take? Don’t know. Can’t wait forever. So it’s the girls’ turn to observe the timing and rhythm of those slamming walls and just another piece of cake, they pass. They end up in a dam area in which they must now face off a monster gladiator.

Episode 7
We see Yotsuya slowly hacking his way up. Slowly but surely. Yeah, we lost count how many times he fell to his death. Cue for flashback how as a kid, nobody wants to be his friend. Sad. Eventually persistence pays off and he is out of the goddamn hole. As he fumbles his way through the dark, what a convenient log point to see what happened. Apparently one of Kahvel’s men has died and they said their goodbyes. Oh, felt his body over there. Say goodbye to him too. Meanwhile we see Kahvel happily trying to cut the monster. Unfortunately she gets killed! OMFG!!! Shindou panics but moments before she gets chopped up, how the f*ck she suddenly levelled up?! Oh, I see she accidentally stepped and killed this little bat monster. Lucky her. Now she changes her profession into a warrior. She remembers Kahvel’s lessons on how to kill the enemy through the heart. Yes, those lessons come in handy for sure. After several death defying tries, she finally kills it. Bravo! Now we hear Yotsuya’s monologue of why he became a player in this game. Is it because of his role to be a leader?! I don’t know if he is a narcissist… Too bad for him as a hero, though. Because by the time he returns, Shindou has already won. When he heard about Kahvel’s death, he immediately dives into the water to save her. What?! Not even sure if that is water or if there are sharks, he just immediately jumps in?! No wonder the girls are so flabbergasted. Cute chick can’t die cliché because Kahvel lives thanks to Yotsuya pumping monster blood he consumed to her until he passed out. As thanks, she kisses his lips! Other girls see this but Kahvel plays it cool. I mean, is Yotsuya one of your boyfriends?! Didn’t think so. Yotsuya’s bravery reminds her of somebody so she explains the knight ranking system in her kingdom. Her rank might sound impressive but it is just basically average and very far below her father and brothers. Is this talk some distraction away from the kiss? Anyway, Yotsuya soon wakes up and realizes something about the goods they’re supposed to transport. He realizes all the quests they have been given were pretty vague. They just assumed it is so and so and completed it. Because this quest has them deliver ‘goods’ to Radodorbo, what if prisoners cannot be those goods because who in their right mind wants to receive them? Before you can accuse Yotsuya for thinking of abandoning them, he cautions there is a chance the prisoners can also be the goods. So how? He suggests splitting up. Like in dating?

Episode 8
Yotsuya, Tokitate and Kahvel will follow Kamilto and save the prisoners while Shindou and Hakozaki will continue their journey and search for any other cargoes bound for Radodorbo. Kahvel tells an important piece of info that before Kamilto trapped them, she saw them sending chicken messengers. It is most probably to protect their own asses as the message could contain about trapping the enemy heroes. In the event if they got free from the trap and kill them, this might spark a war between nations. While Yotsuya’s idea is to write a letter to convince the kingdom otherwise, he wants a more devilish plan to make Kamilto pay for killing one of his men. Somehow they manage to catch up with Kamilto’s group. While they are camping at night, Yotsuya surprises them by showing his face. Aside Tokitate, he claims the others died. Also, Yotsuya has converted into that religion and wants to strike a deal for the prisoners to be released or he’ll use his immortality to spread the religion. Kamilto calls his bluff because in both instances, Yotsuya is free to spread the religion. However Yotsuya gives them till tomorrow to decide. Shortly after, Tokitate returns to Kamilto and claims she isn’t on good terms with Yotsuya and wants to get back at him. Kamilto is suspicious because this may be a trap to save the prisoners. As proof, she will lead him to where Yotsuya is sleeping. Kamilto remains cautious so he has a soldier stay back to guard the prisoners. He then follows Tokitate and after a while, kills her! He brings her back as prisoner but to his surprise, Yotsuya has killed all the prisoners and then sets fire to all their belongings. Yotsuya claims he lied about becoming that religion and all this is just for revenge. Yotsuya and Tokitate ride off in their only horse while Kamilto gives chase? Can he? Either way, he is doomed. Yotsuya reunites with the prisoners safe in the cave. Flashback reveals soon after Tokitate led Kamilto away, Yotsuya knocked out the soldier. Then he has the prisoners remove their clothes and put on fake dolls they made to make it look convincing. While this mission is a success, Tokitate talks to Yotsuya about the moral dilemma of killing characters despite it is just a game. After all that is said, he reminds her that their lives are actually on the line so they can’t afford to worry about it and it takes precedence over the lives of the characters in the game. He has a point…

Episode 9
While Kamilto is lamenting he has failed his king, suddenly Kahvel pops up to kill his man! She is here to avenge her man as she slices off his limbs! Man, this is shockingly brutal!!! Need to change to a bigger sword before the final decapitation? Any last words? So he wanted peace, huh? In that case she’ll annihilate his kingdom if that is how peace is going to achieve. Off with his head! Gee, this was really violent and Kahvel relishing in this… Meanwhile the king has received word about Kamilto’s failure but someone shady disagrees with his suggestion to send a rescue team since it is not worth it. Instead, he suggests preparing to fight the heroes who have become their enemies. As the journey to Radodorbo continues, I guess after that brutal violence, we need a change in pace. Because Tokitate notices Kahvel a bit down, she thinks she is definitely in love with Yotsuya as the journey will soon near its end. Hence probably like some of us, she thinks a confession is inevitable and is gleefully waiting for that chance to pop up. Drawing inspiration from her favourite dating sim game, however with all the obvious flags turning up, it seems nothing is happening and it is understandable why she is so frustrated. Meanwhile Shindou’s side has managed to secure a trader who is making his way to Radodorbo. They ask to accompany him there but since he already has a bodyguard who won’t yield his position, they fight and obviously Shindou is much better. Any other objections? Good. Now we can continue to Radodorbo. One night as Yotsuya’s team is camping, Kahvel finally makes her move. Is this it? She makes a confession… All she wants is to thank him for helping her avenge her comrade. That’s it. THAT’S IT???!!! Boy, it’s understandable why Tokitate is so mad… Yotsuya has 3 ideas about the cargo to Radodorbo. First, let the convicts go at the church. Nope, not it. Mission still not cleared. Next, sell the items of the dead enemy soldiers. Nope. Not this either. Lastly, hand the severed heads of enemy soldiers in a box! Mission clear!!! OMFG! You mean this is it?! So random that even Yotsuya thinks the mission is up to what the Game Master wants. Just in time, reuniting with Shindou’s time, it’s time to split. Like in dating?!

Episode 10
Now to clear the other half of the quest, that is to traverse 5% of the map. Considering this is a huge continent… The gang split up to cover more ground. However at this time of year, it is snowing and you know it is going to impede their quest. Before that, Yotsuya says a quick goodbye to Kahvel. And just like that, it’s over between them? No wonder Kahvel having some deep thoughts. But it don’t matter, right? Same thing as we see the quartet travel solo. We hear their thoughts and stuffs, but nothing important that I want to jot down. Mission is in jeopardy when they reach 4.992% of the map. Oh, so close. Because Hakozaki collapses from the cold. Tokitate is taking shelter and can’t move anymore. Hence ‘falling asleep’, Shindou reaches some rock, not sure what she sees in it, feels betrayed and can’t go on. Yotsuya keeps moving at a snail pace. Then a cyclops yeti attacks! He defeats it somehow (not sure with a frying pan!) and realizes it could be a mother because its offspring start crying over its carcass. But Yotsuya can’t be hypocrite and care about them. Yeah, it’s all virtual only, right? Like as though karma wanted to teach him a lesson because soon he falls down an abyss and dies! Oh no! Everybody dead???!!!

Episode 11
Oh sh*t! Did I watch the wrong anime?! Or has this series ran out of ideas that it turned into a magical girl show, Majiha Knights! Damn, a completely new magical girl opening to troll us too! Of course this turns out to be Tokitate’s childhood series. She talks about her own life and the troubles she ended up with by talking behind the back of others. Just desserts, maybe. Yotsuya is still alive so he continues exploring. Until the alert pops up that Hakozaki is dead! Yeah, eternal slumber in the snow. This makes Shindou to progress further but little does she know, she was treading through a frozen lake and as expected when she reaches the middle, the crack has her submerged into its icy waters. Another one bites the dust. Now Yotsuya has to be careful but even if he decides to follow this friendly giant earthworm that poops out poo, he gets devoured by a bad worm from Tremors! Dead. Oh sh*t! Tokitate the only one left! However she starts to feel relieved. She realizes that this could means she was just looking for an excuse to give up and doesn’t have to push herself further. But what do you know? It could be the cold because Majiha Knights pop up before her to lecture her about not giving up. With that, Tokitate stands up and continues her journey. It might help her since she is delusional thinking all of her favourite anime characters guiding her through this hell. Suddenly before her is… Katara and a giant Cheshire Cat?! She is offered a ride and although this helps in covering the remaining ground, time is running out. Like, about 30 seconds left! Thank goodness this Katara is a wind magic user so she uses the wind spirit to help boost some distance. Can they make it?! 1 second left!!! And yeah… You bet the quest is cleared when everyone is together and before them is the Game Master. You have the right to ask a question. Tokitate asks if this world is a virtual one. Game Master replies: This is a parallel world. He gives a few examples of the decisions they make and actions that have happened or not. Each branching to a whole new different world. So with each new branching, new worlds were created and it seems the world they are in branched off about 4.6 billion years ago! Hence Earth is just one of those possibilities. Though, the world they are in is parallel, everything is real except them the players who are just virtual (otherwise, how do you explain their revival?). Oh dear. Yotsuya starting to feel the guilty conscious of killing real people! Looks like he does care now.

Episode 12
Wow. Nothing like that statement to punch you back to reality. Yotsuya now thinks that despite his hatred for humans, killing 1 was just enough to make him feel all weird. So does this mean he doesn’t hate humans at all? Obviously we see him moping around and spacing out. The girls are worried as they understand it has a tremendous effect on his psychological being. There’s nothing they could do. Suddenly he receives a message from Game Master. He is asked his real feelings after killing a man. Trying to f*ck with him, huh?! Delete message! But when he gets home, a loli in straw hat pops up. She would appreciate if he replied her message. She is the Game Master?! So basically, he thinks from their point of view they are right but from the enemy’s point of view, they think they are right. Eh? So how does that answer the question? Had he known the truth, he wouldn’t have killed. Killing was a mistake. That what you want to hear? Game Master wants him to go meet the next player, Keita Torii. At a restaurant, she tells him a few tables over is a drug dealer. Keita and his men (one including his brother) will come in to kill him in 20 seconds. Wait. WHAT?! Yotsuya is in shock but when Keita and co come in, Yotsuya instinctively trips them. When they fight him, Yotsuya just doesn’t give a f*cks anymore and beat all of them up. Then the yakuza boss comes in and is going to shoot Yotsuya. Game Master asks if he wants to use a glove. Of course! It’s like he stopped time and did some magical punch on him! Everyone gets away when the police arrives. Keita beats up his boss because he was trying to shoot Yotsuya in the back. He’s done. Later Game Master asks him, now that he has stopped a murder, has his sentiments changed on the killing. Yotsuya answers that he just needs to do what he needs to do. From Tokitate’s case, having Keita in means increasing the success of the quest. This is more evident since the last quest, it was Tokitate who completed it. As for the value of life, he thinks all stupid humans should just die. Game Master then asks who is he for deciding whose life has more value. Honestly, Yotsuya considers himself a normal kid with delusions. He knows it is wrong but who cares, right? He’ll fight for the justice he believes in.

Over My 100-man Dead Body…
Oh man. Wow. How the f*ck does this series could get another season???!!! It’s no surprise that the way things were heading, it was going to look like that. After all, the final episode shows a full length trailer of next season. Like as though they have already made the second season or had plans for a sequel, just that they didn’t tell us and decided to split into 2 cours. Oh man. And looks like I have to stay put and watch next season too because next mission is in space! FREAKING SPACE!!! New hot chicks too?! Oh wow. They sure really know how to bait me to watch a mediocre series that has little of entertainment value… Yeah. But who am I to judge a sequel that has value or not?

The whole story feels iffy. Like as though they write as they go along. If not, they dragged out the entire mission, which could be possible seeing a big majority of this season focuses pretty much on the fourth mission. I say this because the Game Master’s directives for the mission is not very clear itself. It leaves room for interpretation for one to make up as they go along. It depends on the whims and fancies of the Game Master who will then decide if they like the achievement the players have made or not. On the other hand, if you were being spoon fed the specifics, it wouldn’t be much fun as you won’t have to think for yourself. Your actions limited and hence you won’t get those infinite possibilities that current reality has grown to! Ah yes. The big revelation that the worlds are real confirms that this isn’t some virtual MMORPG. So you telling me this is an isekai genre?! Haha. Still as bad. But thankfully, no overpowered characters from the start! Phew.

I don’t know, some parts feel like plot convenience like those log points that allow you to see certain limited things that happened at that spot. Like, what even triggers recording such events? If that’s the case, shouldn’t everywhere on this continent be spammed with log points? Yeah, every step you take, suddenly you are forced to witness some event there. Damn those unskippable cut scenes. Making it even weirder and more random is the fact that you change professions when you level up. I don’t really understand how this works as I am still unsure if you lose your previous skills of your previous jobs but this moment mostly feels like they just want to f*ck around with Yotsuya so that he can have some ‘joker’ profession. I guess it’s more fun that way. I mean, who says you can’t kill with a cooking knife? As long as the game allows it… To make it seem more real and interesting, the mid-intermission has a little trivia about the world and some of its mechanics but I feel they serve more as trivia and extra rather than anything useful. Oh yeah. Gee, thanks for letting me know that getting a thief job from the roulette is 7.5% compared to 0.5% other jobs. Now I know why loot boxes are so hated… And how long the Majiha Knight series has been running!!!

At first I was somewhat disappointed thinking that this was going to be some really violent and brutal series. You know, from the name it sounded like the main character had to go berserk and kill a million lives! Oh yeah, let me see all those blood flow and bodies piling up! Unfortunately, we got this very mild vague adventure-like thingy. Sure, Yotsuya killed a few questionable baddies thinking it was all just virtual and pixels. But still, his body count is relatively low. Even if you factor in all those goblins he killed as part of the training. I mean, do those lives matter? Do monster lives matter at all?! Yeah, so it is very much very vague even on this concept what constitutes to be counted to your kill. But that’s just me overthinking things. And so the final episode reconciles his thoughts and feelings about killing so I am guessing that Yotsuya will start piling up the bodies next season. Will 200 million bodies suffice?

Having this world as one of the many infinite possibilities, I suppose this opens up a lot of, well, possibilities. But still, having the players as the only things that are virtual doesn’t make sense in a way especially when the killings of others are concerned. So for those bad guys who got killed by Yotsuya, it is unfortunate they cannot be resurrected. But to be killed off by him, doesn’t that mean and feel that they have been killed off by ghosts?! Even if the existence of the players is real, having them being able to die and get resurrected feels like another plot convenience. Sure, some sort of realism added but even if it takes longer the next time for each additional member to the party, it still feels weird. Yeah, tells you our players can make mistakes and pay with their lives albeit they’ll come back to life again soon after. But thinking about it, perhaps it is valid because the lives are spread out via the party members so as long as one of them is alive, everyone will still be able to return. Sure feels like an FPS game too. Waiting to respawn… Speaking of that, watching the characters in respawning ghost form also feels weird. It’s like they are naked by their shoulder and below are censored out, like covered in some dark mud or something. Huh?

Making it even weirder is that short segment at the end of every episode. It feels so random and I believe it is meant for laughs and just for fun. For example the first episode shows a voice acting attempt among the incomplete sketches of the production. Pretty neat and okay. Others feel like some sort of promotion like one whereby they promoted the ending theme (no, I will not buy an outfit bearing the pattern of the Game Master!). And others that are meant to be funny feel like they fall short of being actually funny. Like getting lost in the dungeon only because they get trolled by the things they like. Or that one whereby Yotsuya was standing above a million (but selected) Japanese cities. Huh?! What’s that supposed to mean? Then Yotsuya getting rejected by the real live seiyuus who voiced the girls? What?! I felt more cringe than funny… Standing over a million cringes…

Regarding the characters, they feel pretty average. Yotsuya tells us that he hates his life in Japan. I guess a lot of us in the real world hate our lives too but don’t have the privilege like Yotsuya to play out this lovely game in the parallel world! Anyway, having a main character with such attitude means he can put his heart wholly into the new world. Because f*ck real life, gaming world is for me forever! Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to show that kind of vibe. He feels more like a normal kid struggling to get through the game. There are some parts where he lets his ruthless side show but that is most probably because he thought this was all a game. And oh my, what shock his face puts on when he learns that this is all real. Like, did he forget that their lives are actually more important?! They killed only seemingly bad guys, right? So what’s the problem? That’s why he feels more like a normal kid. Gotta show that he still has some conscious. Trying to tell us that unlike games, reality has real actions and consequences, huh? You are responsible for the consequences of your own reactions, huh?

They might want to troll us with a potential harem because so far the rest of all the players are females (until next season where Keita will become the other guy). Heck, not even sure the workings of how they choose the next player. Since it is said that the game ends after the 10th mission with the 10th player, my guess is that the last player might have it the easiest. You know, just only 1 mission to play. But it could be the toughest and hardest mission yet and you bet the final player who joined might just be in total shock trying to figure things out in this world. Too bad if that last player loves the game only to find that the game has already ended. Maybe he/she could start a new one after that. After all, with parallel world possibilities, that isn’t impossible. But still, the thought of the final player being brought in at the very ends feels like that player will be the one who will draw the short end of the straw and be screwed if he/she doesn’t learn to adapt fast.

Anyway, as for the other harem girls in Yotsuya’s group, all of them have their own issues to deal with but those are just touching the surface so as to give some sort of back story of the problems they are dealing in life. Not that it is very comprehensive but just enough to assure you that they have some sort of character. Like Shindou the popular one who relies on the power of friendship, Hakozaki the shy one who wants to be stronger and helpful and the odd Tokitate who feels like the resident joker. I feel that her character is written in a way to make some sort of rebukes and comebacks since she doesn’t particularly get along well with Yotsuya. It is pretty evident the way you see her facial expressions and the sarcasm she spews. Having such a group is all about variety. You need characters from all walks of life even though they are so cliché. Even if Tokitate isn’t anywhere near likeable as the rest, at least it provides some comic relief in otherwise what would be a very dull group because you know, Yotsuya’s just being serious, Hakozaki too shy and weak and Shindou is just looking pretty. Next is Kahvel who we’ll mostly remember as a character who loves to cut, cut and CUT! Could’ve been a serial killer if she wasn’t on the righteous side. You don’t want to get on her wrong side definitely. In case they need to put some romance drama in the future, they troll us with that ambiguous kiss. Because all main characters need to get one eventually. Not sure if a million kisses is possible to get than a million dead bodies…

Game Master is certainly one of the weirdest characters in the game, if not created. This mysterious being could be some sort of god trying to find the perfect world to create. Because he can’t create it himself, hence he needs adventures to chart it all for him. Then he picks the best one. But that’s just my wildest conspiracy theory about this dude. Other than that, it is no surprise anybody looking at this guy for the first time might be inclined to think he is some sort of pervert and hentai. I mean, this guy has a pair of hand shaped pattern to cover his chest area and some star pattern (sometimes I like to refer it as weed) for his crotch area! If that doesn’t scare you, maybe his half head will. Yikes. Is this horror or is this perversion? Or both? Then they try to throw us off with that loli, could it be Game Master’s persona in this version of Earth?

Art and animation feel pretty average and standard. Characters also look pretty average and standard like Yotsuya looking like your typical high school kid who is the main character. Hakozaki looking like a very meek version of that main character from Bofuri. Take away all the genki and liveliness and you’ve got yourself a new character. I thought I see some other characters in Shindou and Tokitate but at this point I am too lazy to crack my mind and check back for references. This anime was done by the relatively new Maho Film who did Uchi No Ko No Tame Naraba Ore Wa Moshikashitara Maou Mo Taoseru Kamo Shirenai and Kami-tachi Ni Hirowareta Otoko.

I didn’t find the voice acting to be anything special in particular. Just want to note that the Game Master is a unique one whereby in every episode, he has a new seiyuu voicing him. An indication they are all different personas? My favourite one being the first Game Master since he is voiced by the legendary Norio Wakamoto. Damn, they should’ve just kept this guy and not change to others. The rest of the main casts are Yuuto Uemura as Yotsuya (Juugo in Nanbaka), Risa Kubota as Shindou (Ren in Konohana Kitan), Azumi Waki as Hakozaki (Special Week in Uma Musume: Pretty Derby), Makoto Koichi as Tokitate (Tsukasa in Nurse Witch Komugi R), Chiwa Saito as Kahavel (Senjougahara in Monogatari series) and Toshiyuki Toyonaga as Keita (Tsukumo in Nanbaka). The opening and ending themes aren’t anything special. Not really particularly fond of them. Anti World By Kanako Takatsuki as the opener feels like a generic anime piece rock piece while Carpe Diem by Liyuu as the ending theme feels like a generic anime pop music.

Overall, this series just average and nothing special. Just this season’s isekai theme without trying to be a clichéd isekai theme. It proves that even without the cliché of overpowered main character who dies and gets transported to another world, it is still bad if you don’t have a good story (standing over a million plot holes) or likeable characters (standing over a million forced characterizations) to begin with. Even the possible concept of having infinite parallel worlds that continue to branch out might seem like an interesting idea but it is not enough in general to save this anime as a whole. Hopefully with another season, the story and characters will get more interesting. Assuming the next season will be entirely a space arc, I hope it is more than just adding another character and do some random quest to fulfil the requirements needed by the game’s pervert. Otherwise, so generic and plain that not even a million more animes of the isekai trope butchered can make it any better. They better do some justice to all the time I’ve invested watching in this series.

Ani Ni Tsukeru Kusuri Wa Nai S4

Oh wow. I actually did not expect this. Ani Ni Tsukeru Kusuri Wa Nai S4?! Season four of this popular Chinese web series? Come to think of it, this series has been releasing a season steadily for a year since its debut in 2017. So I guess releasing another one in 2020 wouldn’t be so surprised. Considering how sh*tty the year is, we need to be reminded that there could possibly be things that are more worse than the year itself. Or perhaps just continue laughing at the antics of a particular idiotic brother and a violently brutal sister. Yeah, 2020 does seem a little better right now… Oh, who am I kidding?!

Episode 1
Shi Fen invites Banzai into his room but it is filled with garbage everywhere! Be careful where you step! I guess he has had it stepping on things so he tells him to get rid of them all. Every item Banzai wants to throw out, Shi Fen has some sort of excuse not to. Then he picks up what seems to be Shi Mao’s pantsu! Did he find some treasure? Actually Shi Fen admits that is his underwear. The argument resumes until Shi Fen gives his dramatic plea that he can’t throw them all away because of the fond memories it gives him. Banzai then sees the onyx stone he gave for his present and understands. Can’t throw this away, right? But Shi Fen throws the stone away without a thought. That can go! Banzai then continues to throw everything else out. In the aftermath, the decluttering has done some good. So clean and spacious now. However they forgot to put back Shi Fen’s bed (a reason why it is so spacious), so he is sleeping in the hallway, blocking the door to the toilet.

Episode 2
The gang are at the amusement park. The siblings want to sit out the roller coaster ride, giving excuses. Aren’t they just scared? Shi Mao notices the haunted house ride. It brought back lots of memories. She was scared all the way but Shi Fen was just cool. At the end of the ride, he calmed her down and it made the whole experience less scary. Now, she wants to ride it for nostalgic sake. Of course this time she is trying to pretend to be scared but ultimately she had a lot of fun. After the ride, she wants to go get some commemorative photos. She notices Shi Fen’s eyes closed all the time. When she pries it open, she sees fear in it. Yeah, his legs are shaking. This shatters that cool image of her bro. Feeling so disappointed…

Episode 3
Kai Xin has brought great achievements to the sports team. But with the new rules, he must score a minimum in his tests, otherwise he cannot participate. So he claims to have studied for 6 hours straight for it. But when Wan Xing tests him on a basketball term, he gives the obvious wrong answer. Shi Fen watches a secret video (mind if Shi Mao joins in too!) of Kai Xin studying. But after 3 minutes, he slacks off. Hence after a short moment of focus, this is followed by long periods of slacking off. Next day, Shi Fen confiscates his handphone and ties his hand to a pencil. He must focus on his studies if he wants to get it back. So Kai Xin goes into overdrive mode and does all he can to concentrate on his studies. And after a long while, he thinks he has done his best and wants a break. Only, it has only been 3 minutes!

Episode 4
Wan Xing spots Shi Mao and Miao Miao coming so he has to abandon getting into his car to avoid being seen as chauffeured. Yeah, walk all the way home. Because of that, the rest wants to help him by lending their bicycle. Well, Shi Fen’s missing a wheel and Kai Xin is too high for his legs to reach. Shi Mao offers him a ride but accidentally keeps kicking him off! This is starting to irk Wan Xing and has thoughts of giving up this friendship thingy. Then Miao Miao gives him a bike her cousin made. But with training wheels? But once he rides it, he gets the feel of it and likes it. Ever since, he prefers to cycle to school, much to the confusion of his chauffeur.

Episode 5
Time to be reminded as Shi Mao beats up Shi Fen. But soon he recovers and this amazes Banzai. He thinks he has what it takes to become a martial artist. So they head to the dojo where Shi Mao is trained to meet her master, Heihachi Shi Han. He remembers Shi Mao and praises this prodigy of his. But when he learns this is her brother, he starts mocking him that he can’t do martial arts because of his bad posture and habits. Shi Fen doesn’t like how he sounds so he tries to pick a fight with him. In no time he gets beaten to a pulp. But then Shi Han feels something strange. Something wonderful. He realizes that Shi Fen is a prodigy, a man born to be hit! Why, his perfect durability enhances your confidence as a martial artist! Hence Shi Fen is the perfect human sandbag! Ready for your next beat down?

Episode 6
Kai Xin somehow gets picked by all the teachers to solve problems on the board. How can this be? Banzai points out that his size and stature may make him stand out. Hence Kai Xin goes for an image change and tries to look nerdy but the teachers still pick him. How now? Shi Fen has the solution: Become the wind and disappear. Before he could call crap on that nonsense, Shi Fen demonstrates on how it’s done. Oh sh*t! Shi Fen disappears before their eyes! Teach me, sensei! And so the next time the teacher is trying to pick someone, he notices Shi Fen not around and asks Kai Xin what happened to him. Happy guy replies that he has disappeared with the wind! Teacher marks him down as skipping class.

Episode 7
With all the girls screaming over Kai Xin’s abs, Shi Fen doesn’t want to lose out and shows them his. However they get freaked out because they’re just fats! Hence Shi Fen takes it upon himself to do some sit-ups but unfortunately that doesn’t last long. So Shi Mao is going to beat him up into shape?! I don’t know how but it worked! Damn, he has a six pack now! However, he needs to think of a way to show them off without looking like a pervert. Watching Kai Xin drink and then wiping his mouth with a shirt, he does the same. Only, the girls aren’t watching. So he keeps drinking and drinking in hopes they would look. But by the time they do, they scream at his abomination. Because he drank so much water, his stomach is so bloated that it is looking fat now! Goodbye six pack…

Episode 8
Banzai and Wan Xing are before a public bathhouse. The little one is hell bent never to enter such establishment for commoners. Then a bus splashes mud over them. I guess they have to now. But they get intimidated with naked men with abs! Why do they all pose like famous Greek statues?! They want to escape but looks like Shi Fen and Kai Xin are here. Can’t escape no more. When they wrap themselves in towels and look like Greeks, Shi Fen and Kai Xin disrobe Banzai until he becomes crazy and one of them. Wan Xing will not fall for this trick but to his dismay, the bath has no individual stalls. Hence he calls his driver for the ultimate equipment that will protect the family’s honour. Turns out to be a full body swimsuit that includes covering the whole head! Yeah, he looks like a creepy weirdo… How the f*ck can he bathe in that thing?

Episode 9
The public bath continues. Shi Fen and Kai Xin try to get Wan Xing join them soaking in the water. But by farting in the water?! Of course Wan Xing will not join in such unsanitary filthy act. This irks Shi Fen so it’s a showdown to see who can last longest in the sauna. Both try to outdo each other but eventually both come rushing out to cool themselves in the cold water. Somehow this strikes an odd friendship between them because Wan Xing allows Shi Fen to scrub his back. However he scrubs so hard that Wan Xing flies off, skips over the water and crashes into the wall! Damn, that knocked the kid out. And ever since this traumatic event, he never goes to another public bathhouse again.

Episode 10
Shi Fen is late for class and the teacher will not hear any excuses. But what’s this? You Le is also late? Everyone is worried something happened but she owns up, admits her own tardiness and promises it won’t happen again. Later, Shi Fen tries to ‘welcome’ her to the dark side of being late but she remains steadfast that it was her own fault and will never happen again. This irks Shi Fen because she sounds so much like a robot. Next day as Shi Fen leaves early so as won’t be late again, he spots You Le coming out from a store. He tails her to see her feed a stray cat at the park. He realizes he is running late and leaves. So the class wonders if You Le is going to be late again but here she is, doing this crazy stunt of pole vaulting into the class! Just in the nick of time! Everybody cheers! Except for Shi Fen. He just couldn’t care less anymore.

Episode 11
Shi Fen showing off his new shoes. Shi Mao almost beats him up thinking he wasted their money but he claims he was being given the pairs. You see, some old guy dropped his wallet so Shi Fen gave it back to him and in return he bought him the shoes. Later as Kai Xin ridicules this shoe, Shi Fen starts passionately explaining all the mumbo-jumbo of how hi-tech and that it is the shoes of rich people and nobles! Banzai heard this. Yeah, he is wearing the same shoes! He throws them away! So when his pals see him shoeless, he claims they dissolved. Shi Fen feels bad and gives him 1 shoe. Yeah, Shi Fen now hopping on 1 foot. But then the teacher is mad. He thinks Shi Fen was the one who threw the shoe that hit his head! Though it isn’t him, can Shi Fen run with just 1 foot? He makes a huge jump, believing in the shoe’s technology to cushion his landing. Banzai takes a look at his half and realizes it is fake. Uh huh. Bad landing for Shi Fen… The pain…

Episode 12
10 years ago, Shi Mao was fascinated with the story of a woman who traded up a paper clip till she get a house. Shi Fen was amused but heck, he tried it anyway. Well, eventually he traded up to a bicycle. On his way back, he sees Kai Xin watching a basketball match. Seems he wants to play ball but because he sucks at studying, his parents forbade him to play. Hence Shi Fen trades in the bicycle to get a basketball for him. That was when they started becoming friends. Shi Fen might not trade up to get a house but he sure earned a friend! And that itself is priceless! Oh, and that bicycle he traded actually belonged to Kai Xin because his father is some comic book collector and Shi Fen traded the previous comic book for a bike. Now Kai Xin has to walk to school…

Fail Guys…
This season doesn’t disappoint at all but it still doesn’t bring anything new to the plate. While I am not technically complaining but maybe I am a little bit. Because when I am saying such things, it means that I am already starting to feel that if this doesn’t change, I might find myself to be bored if the next season rolls around and I will give this series a much lesser score. While I don’t intend to see any big shake ups, I am hoping to see something a little more different while the main integrity and core of everything else could remain the same. You know, maybe something about You Le’s love for Shi Fen… Just saying…

But other than that, there is nothing else to say about this season since it is basically the same as its past predecessors. We have the guys being the dumb prideful idiots and with Shi Fen being the main joker, he bears the brunt of all the fails that backfire. He lives up to his role as the resident idiot perfectly. Shi Mao also beats up Shi Fen but this season also feels it has less of that as it focuses on more of the other dumb antics the characters have to give. After all, it would get a bit too tiring and repetitive to see Shi Mao’s violent side, right? Then we’ll start to question, can this series do anything else more and funnier than a sister beating the crap out of his brother? Yeah… At least the final episode shows how Shi Fen and Kai Xin became friends. Not a bad way to end the season. They might be idiots but they’re still friends.

Many other characters also don’t seem to change much. Because what is the love progress of Shi Mao over Kai Xin? I guess none because if Shi Mao finds out how much of an idiot and similar he is to her brother, everything is over. Banzai continues to try to fit in as a normal person and hide his rich status. Funny and cute but still it’s more of the same thing. Wan Xing feels he got a little more screen time here but in a way he feels like a mini punching bag as he bears some of the unfortunate shenanigans. So far so good for this little guy and it is hard to say if he would become like his brother (an idiot in the making) or one who would shun this commoner life entirely and become a hateful character. I vouch for the former. It’s more fun that way.

Overall, this season feels a lot like an extension rather than a real continuation whatsoever. Heh. What am I saying? All the short skits are so random of each other that they all might just independent filler standalones. Whatever has been said, has been said. I don’t want to repeat myself like a broken recorder (and also I don’t really remember what I said the last time. Teeheehee!). But don’t worry. Even if the following year they come up with another season, I will still watch it as I still love the antics of this series. Maybe add some new direction to the romance or heck, maybe add in some wacky character. There might be no cures for idiotic brothers but I’m sure there will always be the cure to blow away the blues after a disappointing 2020, which is also the biggest idiocy too. Albeit just a temporary one, but better than nothing. Yeah, I wanna see Shi Mao beat the sh*t out of 2020…

Shachou Battle No Jikan Desu VS Last Period: Owarinaki Rasen No Monogatari

I guess it was inevitable. I had to do a versus between Shachou, Battle No Jikan Desu (Shachibato) and Last Period: Owarinaki Rasen No Monogatari (Last Period) before I actually forget them. Heh. How long has it been since? Anyway watching the former led and suggested me to watching the latter and I noticed how similar both these animes are. This is what I noticed:

World Setting:
Shachibato: Gatepia.
Last Period: Hopeless.

Main currency:
Shachibato: Kirakuri.
Last Period: Zel.

Main occupation:
Shachibato: Adventurers.
Last Period: Periods.

Small company in focus:
Shachibato: Kibou Company.
Last Period: Arc End Branch Office #8 (BO8).

Company boss:
Shachibato: Minato.
Last Period: Erika.

Other employees:
Shachibato: Yutoria, Akari, Makoto, Guide, Marika (new) and Mineko (new).
Last Period: Campanella, Haru, Gajeru, Liza and Choco (sort of).

Company’s goal:
No money…
Shachibato: To pay off the huge inheritance tax that Minato’s father left him and subsequently to find his whereabouts.
Last Period: With the company bankrupted, they have to take on quests to rebuild the branch office.

Main rival company:
Shachibato: Cyedge.
Last Period: Wiseman.

Enemies collectively known as:
Shachibato: Maju.
Last Period: Spirals.

The top, best of the best:
Shachibato: Imperial, Gatepia’s top company.
Last Period: Ten Jewels, the kingdom’s top idols.

Type of comedy:
Shachibato: Corporate, business and the working class related.
Last Period: Gacha mechanics and crossover homage.

Tsundere character:
Shachibato: Marika.
Last Period: Mimosa.

Comic relief character:
Shachibato: Rivar.
Last Period: Gajeru.

Persistently annoying:
Shachibato: Rivar.
Last Period: Iona.

Scheming character:
Shachibato: Valmi.
Last Period: Campanella.

Emotionless character:
Shachibato: Mineko and Subaru.
Last Period: Choco and Luluna.

Passionate guy:
Shachibato: Makoto and his plants and maju.
Last Period: Gajeru and his Sapphire-sama idol.

Pet mascot:
Shachibato: Uhm… Makoto’s bag?
Last Period: Miu. To a certain extent, Guru.

Not part of the action:
Though part of the gang, not seen in battle with the rest.
Shachibato: Guide.
Last Period: Choco.

Siblings:
Shachibato: Akari and Makoto.
Last Period: Iona and Luluna, Gajeru and Mimosa.

Just like family:
Shachibato: Minato and Yutoria are childhood friends.
Last Period: Gilled and Noin are Haru’s siblings although not blood related.

Summoning:
It’s all about the money…
Shachibato: When you have enough money, you can summon a goddess to grant your wishes. Well, almost.
Last Period: You can put in enough money to make Calls and summon familiars that range from 1 to 5 stars to aid you in battle. Good luck…

Competency test:
Shachibato: Minato has to undergo an induction test to see if he is capable to become company president. Doesn’t take long for him to pass of course.
Last Period: Kuropanella hires Android Sonya when Wiseman becomes complacent in losing to BO8. Doesn’t take long for the AI to harbour evil megalomaniac hopes to conquer to world.

Haunted house episode:
Shachibato: Episode 4.
Last Period: Episode 3.

Beach episode:
Shachibato: Final scenes in episode 12.
Last Period: Episode 8.

Money, money and more money!:
When they finally hit it big with loads of money in their hands…
Shachibato: After defeating the big boss maju in the final episode, our heroes stumble upon the biggest deposit of kirakuri, enough to pay off for the summoning of a goddess.
Last Period: In episode 4 when Haru strikes it rich with a lottery, everyone becomes zellionaires and of course greedy Gajeru and Liza continue to waste their money like there’s no tomorrow.

Accompanying day off:
Shachibato: Minato accompanies Akari who buys him a tie bar as thanks.
Last Period: Campanella/Kuropanella has to play both roles as she accompanies BO8 and Wiseman to the amusement park.

Bullying:
Shachibato: Famnela herd bullying Mineko just because she is different and trying to interact with humans.
Last Period: Apparently the bossy and selfish village mayors try to outdo each other and in the process, the unfortunate small village gets caught in between.

Have something to hide:
Shachibato: Minato didn’t disclose how he got fired from his previous company. It was believed to be workplace violence but thankfully it wasn’t.
Last Period: Campanella = Kuropanella. As a secretary for BO8, she also doubles as the Wiseman’s boss.

Negative emotions:
Shachibato: A maju boss is able to force his maju subordinates to work for him without rest, OT payments, etc. Just like corporate slavery…
Last Period: Luluna’s pendant accumulates all the negative emotions of humans. All the despair, greed and frustration, just like gambling…

Dungeon:
Shachibato: Strange dungeons popping up all over the place.
Last Period: Selfish mayor has a dungeon underneath his village he uses to imprison Wiseman and Luluna.

Game Developers:
Shachibato: Kadokawa Games, Deluxe Games and Preapp Partners.
Last Period: Happy Elements.

Anime studio production:
Shachibato: C2C.
Last Period: J.C. Staff.

Conclusion:
The answer is obvious. I prefer Last Period way better than Shachibato. Because of the funny parodies and all the silliness that made me laugh so hard. Not so much into the corporate culture and jokes because, yeah I have my few fair share of unpleasant experience with it. Eventually it all boils down to money and every industry has its own secrets and quirks that only those familiar with can navigate through while newcomers fumble their way as they learn the code. So looks like back to fiat money as our favourite currency. So much for toilet paper as the new global currency. That’s going to take a while to finish…

Gibiate

You know the year 2020 has been one weird year. Probably the worst to a lot of people. And we all would love to blame a certain virus for the disruption of our daily lives, right? And over a year later, we’re still dealing with this sh*t. So are we going to beat this Corona virus soon? As if they want to scare us further, because there is a chance that the virus might mutate and turn us into violent monsters!!! OMFG!!! Nah. I just made that up. Because those are my thoughts when I watched Gibiate. Uh huh. It is the year 2030 and the world has been ravaged by a virus turning humans into monsters. No cure in sight and not only survivors have to put up with such monsters but other criminals who loot and attack others because there aren’t any more laws in the world. Wow. Such fun and exciting times we live in.

Episode 1
It is the year 2030 (because 2020 would be too obvious) as Kathleen Funada records of a video of herself to prove she is here. Of course it is to tell us about the devastating epidemic virus known as Gibiate that swept the world 2 years ago. First spread in Venice, the first wave was easily contained but the second wave, that’s where everything went downhill. So the virus doesn’t just kills you. You turn into a vicious monster! Kathleen vows to find a cure. Now we go back in time to 1600 AD. Sensui Kanzaki and Kenroku Sanada are on a boat, forced into exile. Sensui despite being a war hero, his exile is because of his lord making a scapegoat out of him for his own selfish gains. Suddenly the storm turns bad. When the duo wake up, they are now in modern Tokyo. This is not the afterlife they’re expecting. Confused by their surroundings, they try to seek help but this sick man suddenly turns into a monster. His cells fried or something? I don’t think any of their attacks can help but thankfully Kathleen arrives to zap it out temporarily and take its blood sample. The Edo guys are ushered into the van as they return to their camp base. While Kathleen believes them to be from the past, the Edo duo aren’t so easily swayed because they are disappointed this is what the future turned out. Is this what they fought for? At the camp, Kathleen introduces them to a few people like the marine, Brian. They can see many people talk bad about them because of their weird outfits. Like Adam who calls their samurai status as BS. He thinks many people have gone crazy thanks to the epidemic. Dr Yoshinaga then explains more about this Gibiate thingy. Those monsters are called Gibia and if you get stung by their venom, there is a high chance you’ll turn into one. Sensui notes he was hit during the attack but thankfully no cause for alarm yet since Yoshinaga notes that a symptom of one turning into Gibia is if you hear water dripping sounds. So if he doesn’t hear any, good. Gibia are driven by their strong impulse to spread so if their stingers don’t work on you’ll, they’ll still sting you to death! When night falls, the place is lighted up by flood lights. Apparently Gibia hates lights. Oh yeah. Looks like they’re coming out to play now.

Episode 2
Kathleen records Sensui as he talks about his upbringing and being taught of the ways of the sword. Then she shows the guys around before wanting to spar with Sensui to test how strong he is. She instantly lost. Yup. Definitely strong. Need all the help she can get to fight against Gibia. She brings him to see her mom, Yurika. As she is a history buff, Sensui wants to know what happened to his lord. Apparently history dictates he got beheaded after too many betrayals. This has Sensui sad as he wasn’t around in his final moments and wonders there was a point to his fighting. Just then, the lights all went out. Maeda, the guy who went home just to get a samurai sword for Sensui, returns. Just in time right before Gibia start invading the camp and killing everybody! Maeda is a partial victim but he gets to see how cool Sensui is with his sword now. Yoshinaga has Kenroku burn tents to create source of light. I think this is too slow. Plus, they never have any backup plan or anticipate such failure?! Anyway, Kenroku is a ninja could adapt and use well the modern tools to aid in his fight against Gibia. Sensui becomes a mad dog slashing the Gibia. So Adam, now you believe in this samurai? He is the real deal! Even if the sword becomes dull from cutting too many Gibia, with Kenroku’s help, he manages to slash more. Yeah, everybody enjoying the cool samurai fight. Even bringing Kathleen to tears. All behold your saviour! The survivors manage to hold out until dawn. But looks like Maeda is showing symptoms of turning into a Gibia. Satisfied with Sensui showing him the cool samurai stuffs, he now wants to be killed before he turns into a Gibia. I guess it’s time to hit the feels with Kathleen remembering the nice things he done for her. Let the tears flow. Before letting his head roll. RIP Maeda. You’ll always be remembered.

Episode 3
Kathleen now records Kenroku as he talks a bit about his life. Because the magistrate forced himself on a girl he likes, he killed him, the reason he was exiled. Say, doesn’t Kathleen look a bit like her? I can’t believe that our groupie are the only survivors left. Did everyone else die or turned into Gibia and got killed? Anyway, Yurika suggests heading to Niigata since there is a research facility there and less Gibia. Before they depart, Yoshinaga needs to collect Gibia virus samples so as to make his vaccine. That’s why he wants Sensui to cut down as many Gibia for him. Brian seems to be desperate and having hope for Yoshinaga to create a vaccine. It’s his only way to avenge his fallen men. As they are about to take off in a helicopter on the rooftop (Yoshinaga can fly?!), they see a huge man lying on the opposite building. As they are flying towards that building, a Gibia attacks the helicopter by sticking its thick web over. I thought Gibia don’t come out in daylight? Oh, an abnormal. Meteora they call it, huh? With Kenroku’s bombs not working, time for some Sensui slashing action. Oh damn, Meteora so tough the sword broke! There goes Maeda’s sword… That huge man, Yukinojo Onikura has awakened and wants to help. With his strength, Kenroku throws him a reel so he pulls the helicopter close for the rest to jump down. However Brian gets grazed by Meteora’s web during his fall. Kenroku then pilots the helicopter to crash into Meteora! That easy, huh? As night falls, they camp in the building as they learn more about Yukinojo. He is a warrior monk and comes from the same period as Nobunaga. Seems the monks were fighting some battle against him and Yukinojo was on the verge of taking his own life after losing. Next thing he knew, he fell into a shaft and came to the future. Yoshinaga tries to nurse Brian’s wounds. But your guess is as good as mine, the symptoms are showing but he turns into a Gibia faster than you can say… THIS EPISODE’S CGI IS CRAP!!!

Episode 4
Kathleen narrates how her father, war photographer got injured in one of his job and met mom who was a nurse who treated him. Too bad dad died when she was very young. Yoshinaga is saved thanks to Adam pumping all his lead into Brian. RIP, Brian. Meanwhile, our historical heroes are reunited with their original weapons because they are in an exhibition display nearby! Woah! The coincidence is so screaming plot convenience! Time to test it out since they are being ambushed by Gibia. Yeah, the irony of old weapons still much sturdier than newer ones. After lots of bludgeoning, the gang manage to reunite and escape. Sensui exerted too much energy so he needs to sleep. Yurika reciting an old poem means it is cue for some history lessons. After the unification of Japan, samurais were called back to help invade Korea. However Sensui for some reason was recalled home. There’s also some conflict between Mitsunari Ishida and Ieyasu Tokugawa. Hence many vassals were split into deciding which faction to support. One of them was Sensui’s lord, Jouzen Matsumoto. Despite Sensui making a solid suggestion on which side to support, Jouzen remained undecided. Eventually he decided to side with Ieyasu in the eleventh hour. Sensui and his men led the attack to march on Ueda castle. Though, Sensui felt it doesn’t matter which side they chose because whoever wins will brand them a traitor. The attack failed since whoever whatever went on to fight another battle, leaving Jouzen’s side behind. On the way back, that is when Sensui first met Kenroku since the ninja noticed his peculiar fighting style and wants to fight him. Both are formidable and dragging this fight longer would bring harm to both. Hence Kenroku called this a draw and hoped they will face each other again in the future. Back to current time, more trouble since the bus’ tyre is busted and Gibia looking for their next meal. Since Sensui is still out, looks like Kenroku and Yukinojo have to up their game.

Episode 5
Now it’s Yukinojo’s turn to have a go at recording. Looks like he wants to settle down and live a peaceful life once the war ends. He didn’t get to do it in his own era so this might do. Now we return to the Gibia attack. Too much Gibia for our heroes to handle and they can’t change the tyre in time. How? Oh, Adam going to sacrifice himself?! Yeah, this guy is turning into a Gibia… His bravery of blowing himself up with the Gibia and the bridge allows our heroes to continue their journey. Yurika sews back Yukinojo’s garb and this guy thanks her bashfully. Kenroku teases him he might like her and gets beaten up. Time for some history flashback. Yukinojo and his comrade, Douzan were part of some school. As monks, the thought of bringing in women was a hotly debated topic. Douzan thought if they had somebody they love, they would protect them. On the contrary, Yukinojo felt he would die for them. During Nobunaga’s war to unify Japan, his orders to the monks were to cut off some supplies. They refuse and Nobunaga sent his armies to fight them. Nobunaga’s side lost but the next time, he deprived their castle of the supplies. Hungry villagers came out to surrender but Nobunaga’s army shot and killed all of them. The monks get mad and fought back. Eventually they lost and the castle was burnt down. Douzan eventually died and Yukinojo took his club and vowed to live on. So he loves himself and will protect himself to live? Okay. He bludgeons the enemies but soon he falls through some hole that brings him here. Hence his affection to the ladies could be just of that of a father’s affection. Kenroku teases him further to get Yurika so they can have a kid together but obviously more beat down. While taking a break at a stop, why did Kathleen walk out alone herself and gets captured?! They are escaped convicts known as Galients and they want them to hand over their food. Learning Sensui is the real samurai, their boss, Renjiro Hatonami wants a go at him. And loses! Retreat! That was weird… The journey continues and before them is a dark tunnel. There could be Gibia lurking inside and if it does, Yoshinaga hopes the guys can help clear it. Through enough, lots of Gibia crawling! Time for action! Somebody needs to clear the path so the bus can proceed. Kathleen takes the bombs and bombs away the path. I don’t think that’s how it works but plot needs to progress. On her return, she trips! Like, HOW?! Because dramatic moment as a Gibia is about to sting her!

Episode 6
Renjiro even got a chance at recording? He’s telling how the criminals escaped prison because the cells were much safer when the Gibia attacked and all the guards died first. Now back to Kathleen. If you’re wondering why her life flashing before her eyes is so short, that’s because somebody is here to save her! Haha! She is Ayame and a former cop. Damn, I thought she was a former punk rock band or something. Anyway she kicks ass to save Kathleen’s ass. Damn, Kathleen got time to faint so we see more of her flashback?! Yeah, a time daddy went abroad for his photography job but got killed by a stray bullet. Kathleen always remembers his positive words that bad things don’t last forever. More Gibia massacre until there’s practically none. They invite Ayame to join them since they could use a pair of extra strong hands. They stop at a hotspring inn. Good thing the facilities here are still working. Asking about Ayame’s past, she explains her mom was killed by a Gibia while her dad was a useless person in the yakuza. It’s a reason why she became a cop. On to the guys’ side, everyone is shocked to see Sensui’s back filled with scars. Time for more Sensui past because we see his parents murdered and some lone foreigner swordsman (Chuck Norris?!) took him in and trained him in the ways of the sword. Unfortunately he was suffering from some disease and died too. Sensui alone again. And then some battle in which Sensui killed lots of enemies to let Jouzen escape. To reward this, Jouzen gave him a sword and that’s when Sensui decided to master in wielding both swords. As they resume their journey, they notice a van tailing them. It is Galients and why am I not surprised Ayame is shocked to recognize Renjiro as her dad?!

Episode 7
Ayame’s turn at the recording. Her mom’s Chinese and works in a restaurant so she learnt how to fight from the owner. So Renjiro got bored and wanted to have a rematch with Sensui?! Damn, a van trying to knock off a bus?! Are they really serious?! But no rematch today since before them is a Gibia. Oh, it’s that Meteora?! How the f*ck is it still alive?! Oh wait. I didn’t think that fall then would kill it either. Anyway, it has evolved into some human form. But is this discount Frieza’s final form? Apparently not as it evolves into a hideous T-rex! Galients is tossed away so it’s time for our heroes to save the day. Meanwhile Ayame is contemplating if she should arrest or let her dad die. ARREST AND THEN WHAT?! Time for mother and daughter to guilt trip her that her daddy is still alive and arresting him can’t be just her life’s goal, right? We see a deeper flashback how Ayame was forced to kill mom before she turned into a Gibia. So now what she is going to do? Ayame drives a car, rams it into the river and lets it get washed away by the current! WTF???!!! SO F*CKING EASY???!!! Was this T-rex that light that it can even fly away by the touch of a sedan car?! Okay, because now she confronts her dad and tells him off to stop being a bad guy. Gibia are the real baddies and mom died because of one! Oh yeah. See the shock on his face. Don’t show your face ever again. I guess for the second time, Renjiro orders a retreat. More drama because Sensui is sick? Damn, he fought too much Gibia and strained himself?! F*cking Ayame just showed us how piece of cake it was to deal with a Meteora mother! Damn, he has got to find a more efficient way of fighting! They stop by a food factory to let him rest when suddenly a Gibia stings Yurika.

Episode 8
Yurika’s recording tells us the happiest thing in her life was giving birth to Kathleen. And the saddest when her husband died. She adds more she doesn’t want anyone to die before her and would preferably die first. Damn, this death flag… How the f*ck nobody notices Yurika getting stung?! It’s quite a decently open space and the Gibia is right next to her!!! Finishing off doesn’t mean anything. Yoshinaga gives hope that the Gibia may have stung someone in the last 24 hours so it could be an empty stinger. Pray. I guess everyone is so tired and fallen asleep, nobody notices Yurika is gone! And Yukinojo was just sitting next to her bed! HOW?! So some go out to look for her. Kathleen finds a letter from mom. She apologizes for being unable to continue the journey with them. Also, remember father’s words. If she doesn’t turn into a Gibia, she will meet up with them later. Kathleen is so sad but Yukinojo tries to cheer her up that her smile gives him hope. And her curry too. Please don’t cry. I guess she feels better already and gives him a charm. Sew it onto his clothes too. We see Yurika somewhere… Showing symptoms of Gibia… That’s the end of her. :’(. Kenroku and Ayame are also near a store to get supplies. Cue to have them kill some Gibia for revenge. Feel better? Kathleen and Yukinojo notice a herd of Gibia returning to their nest before dawn. Can’t they just hide and let them pass? Yeah, they want to be heroes to fight and defend! Too bad Yukinojo is going to do this alone as he throws Kathleen back in and closes the shutter. We’re going to see if her charm works, right? I suppose protecting her smile > leaving her alone. Time to kick some Gibia ass!

Episode 9
I guess we’re running out of characters. Guren Soshigaya who is part of Galients is telling us how he was kicked out from the orphanage and his loyalty to Renjiro is because he took him under his wing. He is adept with the gun to back up Renjiro’s sword. When Kenroku and Ayame return, they see the Gibia massacre. Worse, YUKINOJO IS DEAD!!! OMFG! SAY IT ISN’T SO! Kathleen inconsolable. And they recognize a smashed Gibia nearby: It’s Yurika. Probably why Yukinojo couldn’t go all out. Oh, look who is up now? Care to know what is going on, Sensui? Time to bid farewell to the monk and move on. Now we take a detour to Galients. They search a store for supplies but looks like it is filled with Gibia. So how to kill them all? You burn and bomb the hell out of the place! Oh yeah! Renjiro looks down. His daughter’s words must have hit him hard. Since when did he care about Ayame?! I guess when you’re old, you’re old. Ayame makes a few tools for Sensui and Kenroku. I don’t think this puny shield can do anything but it’s better than nothing. Ayame has also made a chained sickle for Kenroku. This brings back memories since a guy he knows used it. Yeah, time for flashback. Kenroku and Shion are ninja buddies. The latter talking about some myth that if you see the moon red, you’re going to die. War rages on. Shion protects Kenroku and dies. Kenroku returns his chained sickle to his sister. Sister knows. Sister cries. Got to make good your promise to Shion to take care of her. And now Sensui is saying how the moon looks red. Oh f*ck…

Episode 10
More interview with Galients? What is better than an interview with 1 of them? Why, 3 of them! I guess time’s running out. So we have Isao Mikimoto who was an Olympic pole vaulter. He landed in prison for killing the guy who tried to kill his girlfriend. The new have Katsunori Hamuro who was a fisherman and did time when he accidentally killed his fellow fisherman. Lastly, Hidenori Sakuma is a bomb expert and tried to bomb the government! Safe to say he failed. Arriving at the ghost town city, they realize lots of Gibia hiding in the shades. Damn, hope it doesn’t turn dark soon. Galients turn up and they think they want to fight. However they’re here to kick Gibia ass! Oh sh*t, did the Gibia decide to f*ck the sun and go out in the open to fight?! And Renjiro trying to impress his daughter by turning over a new leaf. CRINGE!!! They manage to slaughter all the Gibia before the sun goes down. Both sides agree to become allies and work together. So while Yoshinaga works on the vaccine, the rest bond over curry katsu. And they don’t have to do it all in the dark because damn, Sakuma not only is a great cook but a great electrician?! He is the most useful character in this series!!! So he powers up the building’s generator and everyone getting along so good that you can’t tell who the good guys were and who were from Galients. Heh. And of course, Renjiro making up with Ayame because her words that day opened his eyes. Old geezer hasn’t much time left so I guess he wants to spend his last days with her. And time for some final drama because out from the sea pops out… IT’S THAT FREAKING METEORA AGAIN!!! CAN IT NOT JUST DIE?! Oh, did it also evolve to another final form?

Episode 11
Now what can Yoshinaga talk about in his interview? Oh, he had a fiancée?! He hints they did not break up… Oh dear… Flashbacks of kids bullying Ayame because her papa is a criminal. Damn, are they not afraid he is the yakuza boss?! I mean it’s a good thing but when you think about their safety… Anyway, Renjiro wanted to give a piece of his mind but with crying Ayame hugging him not to… Sorry to interrupt your dream but Meteora is here. Everyone gangs up and attacks this Gibia but it seems to be only defending and making its way to Yoshinaga. It’s a tough cookie to crack but eventually they killed it. Just in time when Yoshinaga finishes his vaccine, WTF he is mad they killed Meteora???!!! Then he reveals… He and Meteora are not from this planet!!! OMFG! THERE’S YOUR F*CKING PLOT TWIST!!! Back on his planet, those who drink the blood of the god called Soma will gained special powers. But not all will get it and those who failed will become monsters. Yoshinaga was tasked by Meteora’s father, his mentor to develop artificial Soma blood. Yes, Meteora is his fiancée. One day, Meteora accidentally drank that artificial blood and turned into this monster. Yoshinaga had to create a cure and used blood samples from failed ones. At the same time, the ruler of their planet died and everyone was fighting over the blood. Yoshinaga and Meteora were put into a capsule and flown into space. Because they orbited too close to the sun, their capsule separated. Meteora and the samples landed in Europe while Yoshinaga orbited around Earth for a while before landing in Japan. He then began developing a cure to restore Gibia’s intelligence. Meteora must’ve been following his brainwaves here to reach him. Now that she is dead, there is no reason for him to create a cure, let alone LET ALL OF YOU LIVE!!! Damn, that’s one helluva rage quit. WTF he created a virus that transforms human into a deadlier Gibia type?! HOW?! WHY?! DID HE FORESEE THIS?! Anyway, Ayame is the unlucky one as he throws the serum at her and she transforms into a Gibia. Yoshinaga also jabs himself to turn himself a Gibia but retains his conscious so he can slaughter them all! Damn, this escalated quickly. Everyone tries to fight Ayame but Hamuro gets stung and before he becomes a Gibia, Guren shoots him. Mikimoto in his rage throws his spear. You know that won’t do any good. Yup, he gets killed. Followed by Sakuma. KILL THEM ALL! Renjiro faces off with Ayame but can a father kill his own daughter? That’s why Guren protects him and gets killed and Sensui dealing the finishing blow. Renjiro and Guren exchange a somewhat emotional goodbye and the survivors now turn their attention to face Yoshinaga. Is this his final form?!

Episode 12
Oh Jesus! Yoshinaga turns into a discount version of Frieza?! First we watch a clumsy but laughable fighting between Kenroku and Yoshinaga. Ready to join in, Sensui? Oh, his sword broke! How now?! Kathleen returns and zaps him with her electric gun. Oh, it almost worked?! Some sh*tty explanation about how Gibia cells conduct electricity 98%. F*CK SCIENCE!!! And then Yoshinaga turns into a lamer version! Is this his final form?! WTF is this joker day?! I prefer the fake Frieza look… Time for another revelation because Yoshinaga reveals that it was Kathleen’s wish that brought Sensui, Kenroku and Yukinojo here. Some sh*tty explanation how the spaceship broke into orbit looked like shooting star and her strong wish resonated with their brainwaves thingy. CRAP!!! F*CK SCIENCE!!! Yeah, men in this era are pussies that she wished strong ones from the past?! Yeah… But WTF is this whole just to make Kathleen feel guilty she brought those men here?! You trying to guilt trip her?! More revelation as this whole Gibia thing was orchestrated by Yoshinaga. He wanted to see how far it could spread and seeing Sensui and Kenroku’s strength, he was resolved he could find a vaccine to save Meteora. After that, he will abandon Earth and return to their home planet. Yeah, he used Earth as his plaything real good. Renjiro gives his sword to Sensui and when he tells Kathleen to live for Ayame’s part, you know what this mean. This old man just charges towards Yoshinaga like that?! Oh. Looks like he indeed has a death wish and join Ayame. But he won’t be dying alone. He strapped himself with explosives! Boom! That damaged Yoshinaga a bit and this allows Sensui to decapitate him. Finally. And throw the remaining bombs to explode his body to pieces just to be sure. RIP, Yoshinaga. Hordes of Gibia are coming and as they are about to get on the boat to escape, Sensui can’t. He shows a wound he got from a Gibia. Gasp. Can’t risk it. So he is staying back to fight the Gibia. Kathleen so sad. She gives him a GPS so he can track them. He knows how to use it?! Whatever. Kenroku and Kathleen go off, clinging on to that faint hope that Sensui always keeps his promises. That, if he doesn’t turn into a Gibia. But for now, Gibia slaughter fest time!

Gee Baited & Just Bad-te
Oh man. This is how it ends?! Ah, damn it. At this point, I am just freaking glad it has ended. Although I would have just preferred everybody got killed off and the world further falls into a gloomy dystopian state with all the Gibia overrunning the planet until the end of time. And so nobody was saved. What’s the use of finishing the vaccine when there is nothing to live for, right? So my sentiments for Kenroku and Kathleen leaving as far away as they could, could be a sign that they really want to run away from this bad animation so badly! HAHAHAHAH!!!! Yeah, I wished it was that. But where to? Nowhere. You can never run away from bad anime! It’s all around us! And Sensui is like the ‘hero’ trying to cut down hordes of bad anime coming our way!!! If this was also a video game, Sensui would have the honour of earning the highest score and points from killing the most Gibia! Oh well, in another alternate timeline and dimension, this could’ve been the storyline! You see?! I can write stupid crap like this myself!!!

The most glaring and obvious issue about this anime is its animation. Yes, it is that bad. Heck, it even reminded me of that worst anime in history that I recently watched: Gundou Musashi! Heck, it could have been on par with that but it only fares a bit better because the visuals just look slight better. That itself is in the loosest term. For an anime that is supposed to be action packed, they failed in really animating those action sequences well. All we usually see are still pictures of the samurai yelling. A bit of movement just to fool us that there is some sort of animation. But overall there is not much animation to go with. There are also some inconsistencies but the bad animation takes that cake. It’s like the Gundou Musashi of the decade but with slightly better visuals. Again, that in the loosest definition. Even with Sensui looking like the bishonen samurai, I guess his face is so stiff and gloomy so that he could maintain his ikemen handsomeness. I am more likely to laugh than swoon over his ‘good looks’. That again in the loosest of terms.

Compiling to the visual woes are the CGI used. Especially the Gibia. It feels like they wanted to design some sort of horribly transformed monster but due to the bad animation effects, they turn out to be lame but at the same time they are also somewhat nightmare fuel. They’re supposed to be scary but the bad animation prevents them in looking scary but because of that same bad animation, the bad design makes them look scary! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?! AM I CONTRADICTING MYSELF HERE OR AM I JUST CONFUSED?! For instance, Meteora. Look at that abomination. The animation is already the worst, that’s a given. But look at its design. Scary at first. And then it soon becomes laughable. And then taking a closer look, damn if looks a bit scary if you stare a little longer. That’s the best I can describe. And the rest of the Gibia are like failed monster designs. Like as though they held a contest to come up with the ‘scariest’ monster ever and they mesh whatever they could think of. Like the whole world has turned into some kind of playground of the Island of Dr Moreau. Yeah, the animation of the CGI is so stiff like as though they hired amateurs or fresh graduates from the CGI department to do all the work. If Pixar or Disney released such crap, they’ll go bankrupt in minutes from its release!!!

Then there is the colouring and hues too. They look really bland and I understand that they want to give off that gloomy and desolated atmosphere. Yes, there are some dark scenes too and perhaps they want to give that claustrophobic effect because a large ruined city without the bustling people still feels claustrophobic and eerie with its dark corners. Anyway for the record, I didn’t feel claustrophobic. What I wanted to say was that with the colouring and hues sometimes a bit off, I thought this anime was done by GoHands, the studio that made K, Hand Shakers, W’z and Seitokai Yakuindomo. Their trademark is their weird colour hues but unfortunately they did not helm this anime. It is Studio Elle and Launch Box. First time animating, I guess? And to think they hired a famed guy who designed characters for Resident Evil and another renowned one who did Final Fantasy for this garbage!!!

Sorry fans of the action genre, the action here feels so mediocre that it is just laughable. And you already have bad animation as icing and cherry over the cake, sometimes I am wondering to classify this as action comedy. No wonder the Gibia are so dumb because so they can just rush in and get killed by our heroes despite their sheer numbers. Unless the plot calls for it that a character must die in this episode. It’s a big disappointment so see the action scenes so stiff and rigid that it makes you wonder if you can call that fighting. And how exciting is Sensui slashing his sword around or Yukinojo swinging around his club? Not quite. Even if they ramp up some variety with Kenroku modifying and customizing his ninja ways with modern equipment, it is still laughable when you see how Gibia get easily taken down by such. Like as though the Gibia can be easily killed by the touch of these men from the past. So if you have a whole arsenal of military weapons and unlimited bullets, if the plot says you can’t kill the Gibia, it means you can’t. I know I’m exaggerating but yeah. And why the heck do they give Kathleen some pea shooter to defend herself?! Does Ayame not have extra big guns for her to use?! Also, Gibia attacking are so boring. I thought they might shoot fireballs or lasers but apparently the DNA composition hasn’t changed to allow them to do any of that. Or even mind control. That would’ve been so f*cking epic and the end of humanity right from the bat. So they just have f*cking stingers and claws, fangs, whatever they have like other animals, huh? Animation so crappy that Yoshinaga the Gibia didn’t even have to move to dodge attacks! THIS IS HOW ATROCIOUS THE ANIMATION AND ACTION ARE!!!

Now that we’ve done getting the biggest issue out of the way, here is the next: The story and plot. Oh boy, it’s such a mess. Well, the concept and potential are there about virus mutating us into monsters. That was the ‘interesting’ concept that baited me to watch this crap but now I realized I was just trolled. Anyway, I understand this is an original anime not based on any manga and video game (can I go so far to say it is based on a certain current event?), so coming up with an interesting story is quite hard. But even a few episodes into the series, my guts were already ringing like hell that this was going to be bad. And my guts were right. The whole plot seems for the survivors to be going from a certain place to another, like as though this is one long road trip. Because of that, I have this feeling that the producers ran out of ideas and just started winging it with whatever they can come up with for the week. Sure, the ultimate plot is to find a vaccine to cure Gibia but that itself feels so lost and irrelevant when you watched the entire season. Because it doesn’t really matter anymore whether you got vaccine or not. I am assuming Yoshinaga is the only one who knows how to somewhat create a cure but with him being dead, my guess and hope is that this series will go along with it like the rest of humanity. Heh.

Then they inserted this mindf*ckery plot twist that Yoshinaga is not an Earthling!!! OMFG!!! You know what? I admit I did not see this coming! Yeah, I was so bored out of my mind and laughing out at the bad animation that I wasn’t expect this sort of plot twist. Hey, at least it is better than this one: IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM!!! OMFG…Lazy writing. Yoshinaga wasn’t really an important character but you realize that he is a character that needs to be kept alive or else the survivors have no reason to continue journeying like this together nor would there been any other interesting plot to go with. Because he is the only one who can create the vaccine. Just like the king in chess, the most useless piece but also the most important. So the plot twist about his origins, just mindboggling and downright stupid. I admit I have a bad memory but I clearly remember they met Meteora and fought it twice. Not once but twice! And did they not get rid of it? Why didn’t Yoshinaga say anything?! Oh right. Save it for later plot twist. When Meteora first popped up, why did Yoshinaga not explain about Meteora, their connection and past?! At least enlighten them about this before they kill it! Now you blame them and want them all to die?! Like as though it was his plan in the first place, never to find a vaccine but to kill all humans. So he was just waiting for the right time for the heroes to kill Meteora so that he can exact his stupid bloodthirst revenge. Yeah, we lost all respect for you doctor, the plot and the series as a whole. This was really just stupid.

Sure, it sounds a lot interesting to bring a samurai, ninja and monk from the past to the current future and fight such monsters. Because all modern men and humans are just weak pussies who only know how to rage and troll online! TRUE! Yeah, men from the past have more honour and skill. And there’s your time travel element for this series. Hey, even Kathleen wished on it! So even if Sensui and Kenroku don’t really understand the modern world, don’t sweat it, the world is already a dystopia so don’t have to worry what the f*ck is the internet or even multi-level marketing. Damn, this virus turning humans into monsters is starting to sound like a pretty good reset idea… And to think those men adapted pretty well and it’s no surprise since they’re survivors in the past. Don’t worry about the advanced Japanese lingo. They’ll get by somehow. Thank goodness no karaoke showed up in this anime or they’ll be asking WTF that Japanese invention is.

Another point to ponder is about Gibia. While it is an interesting concept, it feels like it is not explicitly explored. And even those brief explanations that Yoshinaga told us, it feels like they’re just winging it and hoping we weren’t paying attention and forget about it. Yeah, sort of worked for me… What I want to point out is, only humans turning into Gibia, what about animals? Do they turn into one too? Because I see that there are so many Gibia around, endless waves of them so I am assuming that those are all humans who got infected. No matter how much our heroes cut them down, there are seemingly more. So I am assuming the rest of the world is now dead and no more humans alive. Make that ex-humans now turned Gibia. And how long do Gibia live? Like forever? If they do have a lifespan, maybe in a few more years they’ll all naturally die out and the Gibia threat over. The best cure ever. If there are human survivors by then. And it sounds so magical than sci-fi when they say how the virus mutates every component in one’s DNA. Convenient cheesy plot to turn them into monsters quickly. Because I’m thinking that this virus is God! Even Jesus doesn’t perform such quick miracles but this virus can?! I hope it doesn’t have this unwanted intention of making viewers go, “F*ck science!”. Yeah…

Speaking of the f*ck science and logic thingy, I don’t know if they are really winging it as the series reaches its climaxes because all the so called ‘scientific’ explanations feels like a big middle finger to science. I know this is sci-fi but the way they conveniently spout that crap in the final episode especially about Gibia cells conducting electricity and how brainwaves can bring people from the past to the present, this is just stretching it. Like as though they needed some sort of further twist but ran out of time so they had to go along with this crap. I mean, really. Like in Kathleen’s wishing case, even if that was remotely true, HOW THE F*CK DID YOSHINAGA KNOW THAT IT WAS KATHLEEN WHO MADE THAT WISH???!!! Did she tell him personally?! If that is so, can he just hypothesize based on a single observation?! Oh yeah, this plot convenience is getting to be really crappy for this series.

The characters, oh my God, what else can I say? They are as bad as the animation and the story. They aren’t anything memorable or deep and mostly forgettable. It is understandable why most of them get killed off. Uh huh. For those characters who ‘matter’, I guess that’s why at the start of every episode, we have Kathleen doing some sort of short camcorder interview. Oooohhh. I’m so enlightened that Yurika’s happiest moments was giving birth to Kathleen and that Yoshinaga had a lover. Wow. This should give them enough character! Obviously at this point we don’t even care nor all those trivia are important.

Even Sensui and Kenroku as the main characters fail to live up to their roles. I understand they came from the past so there must be some sort of culture shock when they arrive in future Japan that is so much more advanced, but the way I see it, they’re just mediocre. Like Sensui who gets tired after swinging a few times in beast mode! WTF?! Is he Ultraman?! So he has to be out for a while to let others to shine. Because you know, relying on him all the time is bad. Shockingly, I never expected Yukinojo to die. I mean, the trio were like quite okay together (not going so far to say that they are likeable or had compatibility but this is the best arrangement after all), so taking this big guy out of the picture, it feels so empty. F*cking plot twist. So perhaps that was my only shocking moment since I really wasn’t expecting this dude to die. So to show the ‘bond’ Yukinojo had with Kenroku, that’s why the ninja now arms himself with his club. In loving memory of Yukinojo. Rest in peace, big guy. So yeah, the trio had their past and it fleshes out their character a little but sometimes I feel it is just to fill in the time. Hey, can’t have Gibia smashing all the time, right?

Every show needs a cute main heroine. That’s you, Kathleen. In my opinion, she’s pretty useless on her own, at one time even almost causing a catastrophic event of causing trouble to others! She tries to be useful but what else is she good for? And seriously, in a world where Gibia are roaming free and so dangerous, look at the way she dresses. Heck, look at how everybody dresses! Shouldn’t they armed themselves to the eyeballs and protect themselves from unsuspecting Gibia stingers? I suppose we need to go kill Gibia in style and fashion, huh? So yeah, Kathleen’s dress that I am b*tching about isn’t the sexiest or most revealing outfit ever, but it is not Gibia battle worthy and it’s like as though she just came back shopping from Harajuku or something. Isn’t she cold exposing her midriff all the time? Oh, what’s this about her character? Nothing. Just wanted to go off track there.

Ayame feels like an SJW turned over a new leaf. Hah! That’s what you call judging a book by its cover. Like as though they wanted to play up some family sentiments here, hence the cop daughter and yakuza father that feels so cheesy. Renjiro isn’t entirely a bad dude. Society made him that way, remember that! Ayame isn’t a bad daughter. She still loves her father despite what he has become. And after their short cheesy reunion, this is how it all ends? It’s a subtle way of saying to go tell our parents we love them because one they they’ll no longer be around! Speaking of family, what about Yurika? I don’t know, sometimes I feel she is a bit of a senile and retard. Like as though she is a few steps away from losing her sanity. And look what happened to her? There’s your much needed family drama.

Ironically, I find Galients to be a more interesting lot despite their shorter appearances. Because this bunch of ragtag criminals sometimes feel like clowns! I mean, when you have a group that consists of an old yakuza father, a smooth criminal right hand man, a Rambo-shinobi fisherman, a Freddy Krueger-Punisher pole vaulter and a fatty nerd bomber, how is this not the most interesting and diverse group ever???!!! Sakuma being the most interesting and useful character of them all! He cooks and can connect power supplies in addition to making bombs! Plus, he tried to bomb the government but failed! The ‘ugliest’ looking Galients is the most interesting. So sorry for this dude. If I had to pick my ‘favourite’ character from this series, Sakuma is the man!

Voice acting feels pretty normal and if not wasted on everything else that is already so bad here. I was quite taken aback that I didn’t realize that it was Tetsuya Kakihara behind the voice of Sensui. I guess since Fairy Tail ended, there has been no big roles for this dude. Anyway, because he isn’t in his usual trademark loud and perky voice, I swore I could never have recognized him. Because Sensui is the kind of sullen and taciturn character so casting Tetsuya Kakihara seems like a mind boggling move. But it’s not my place to say. The other casts are Yukiyo Fujii as Kathleen (Kiriha in Strike The Blood), Hiroki Touchi as Kenroku (Estarossa in Nanatsu No Taizai), Michio Hazama as Yukinojo (Hans Georg Schubert in Monster), Emi Itou as Yurika, Hiroki Nanami as Ayame (Kenshin in Nobunaga The Fool), Shuuichi Ikeda as Yoshinaga (Shanks in One Piece), Kouji Ishii as Renjiro (Sakuraba in Idol Jihen), Hozumi Gouda as Guren (Leorio in Hunter x Hunter), Ryohei Kimura as Hamuro (Tsubasa in Kyoukai No Rinne), Hiromi Sakimoto as Mikimoto and Fukushi Ochiai as Sakuma (Kimura in Karakai Jouzu No Takagi-san).

If there is one thing that I really liked about this series, it has to be the opener. I just wished it had not shared the same name as the series because each time when you say Gibiate, everyone thinks about the anime and not the opening song of the same name. This instrumental has some very good shamisen and electric guitar pickings. I guess this is the only part where they hired the renowned shamisen group, Yoshida Brothers and Sugizo (guitarist from Luna Sea/X Japan) to make this incredible piece of music and it paid off. It is fast paced and frantic and perhaps the only saving grace of this series. Not enough to save it even if it was the best instrumental masterpiece in history, but at least it helped in not making this the worst anime of the season. I mean, yes, it is one of the worst but thanks to this opener, it isn’t entirely bad. Unfortunately for the ending theme, Endless ~Toki Wo Koete~ by Maki Ohguro (damn, this the singer who sang the first opening of Chuuka Ichiban?! This Maki Ohguro?! I’m feeling old…) is just some generic and dramatic piece. I’m not saying it is bad but with an epic opener, this pales in comparison. One of the most notable BGMs include one that sound like a very typical tokusatsu song! I guess it’s not bad but sometimes it made me think a masked rider would just pop up somehow…

Overall, this anime is a huge disappointment after all the hype it has promoted of getting famous and distinguished and legendary creators from well-known franchises to pitch in for this production. What came out was a mess in almost every department that it makes the real year of 2020 look like child’s play! Seriously. Bad animation, bland characters, unexciting action scenes and boring story make this look like one big flashy wasted project. Unfortunately, this cannot be said like Gundou Musashi where it is so bad that it is good. It is so bad that it is just forgettable trash. It is no wonder that all the comments and reviews that I have read on the internet panned this nonsense to the max! Sure, we can laugh off the silly concept that it is utterly ridiculous for us to become monsters from a virus. Unfortunately bear in mind that we do not have a samurai, a ninja and a monk to help deal with this sh*t. Only dirty politicians and greedy large corporations and conglomerates. The true virus that is scarier than any sh*tty animes any time!!! Seriously! No vaccine for that any time soon. So, Gee-bye…

Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san OVA 4

Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE!!! So this wasn’t done yet?! So apparently after 2 years since everything ended, Yuragi-sou No Yuuna-san made a fourth OVA right at the end of 2020. I think I know why. Oh yeah. So if you don’t remember much about the real story of this series, don’t worry. You’re not required to. Because just like the series itself, we’re all just here for the delicious fanservice! Oh yeah. Now I see why they needed to remind us with this surprise. Bring it on! We needed something ‘strong’ to end that accursed year!

Hazukashi Na Kao Sare Nagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai
Oh no! Kogarashi is going to die! Lest he sees 12 girls in their pantsu! Wait. WHAT?! WTF???!!! Oh yeah. We’re starting this with a no brainer. Anyway, the simple explanation is that while at work, he got cursed by a spectre that put this stupid curse on him. For whatever reason. But it’s a good one seeing we need some fanservice. And what do you know? There are 12 babes in the room right now! Oh yeah. You know the drill. So we see the girls take turn showing their pantsu because as stated earlier on, making fake ones or photos don’t work. Heh. Smart curse. I bet lots of perverts want to be cursed by this. Oh wait. Unless you don’t have 12 girls who obviously or secretly love you, you’re screwed. But lucky for Kogarashi, we see all the 12 girls taking turns to show their undies at him. Yeah, some even fighting to show him theirs! Girls, girls. There is enough room and time for everyone to strut their stuff. So I guess they save the best for last because it is Yuuna. Because she is not wearing any!!! OMFG! I think it killed Kogarashi! Anyway on a serious note, it didn’t work so she has to materialize real pantsu for the curse to finally be lifted. Yay! Kogarashi is saved. However the curse activates again. Now they have to show their bra… OMFG… At this rate I think the curse will have them f*ck him…

Ahegao Na Kao Sare Nagara Ohadaka Ni Misete Moraitai
Somehow all the girls are here at the inn for some hotspring party. I know how this will turn out. So we see the lolis dump some sort of bath salt into the hotspring. Yeah, they dump everything! You know how it’s going to turn out, right? Kogarashi who gets permission to join in earlier on because all the girls will be on their best behaviour and put on a towel (yeah, right!) so when he finishes his chores and steps into the bath area, suddenly the bath salt takes effect. Apparently this is a very powerful aphrodisiac that makes the girls lose control over their will. Read: They become horny sluts. So now it becomes a madhouse as they all strip naked to show their boobs as well as get ready to pounce and f*ck Kogarashi! Yup, a chaotic rush as the girls try to usurp each other trying to get laid. Each has their own 10 seconds of fame because whether they are molesting him with their body or boobs but before they can get to the sex act, they are usurped by the next girl. Thankfully it is Kogarashi’s strong will that puts a stop to all this libido madness. Though, it traumatizes him for quite a while. F*cking Kogarashi, are you f*cking gay?!

Haunted House Of Horny Hoes
Oh wow. That was certainly worth the wait of 2 years!!! It was definitely nonsense and garbage but I believe it did what it needed to do so no questions about it. After all, those who knew about the series would’ve already know what to expect in the first place. For those who don’t and innocently and curiously stepped into this and got the shock of their lives, my condolences. So yeah, this OVA don’t skimp on the fanservice with all the bare boobs and pantsu being shown to us. Definitely worth the wait. And like I said, don’t worry if you don’t even remember what the f*cking plot is. You don’t have to anyway. So I don’t understand why at the end of this OVA they need to have that touching moment of Kogarashi and Yuuna, assuring us that they want to stay like this for a longer while instead of being ascended to heaven. I can see why. With all the slutty rivalry with Kogarashi, how can Yuuna go in peace?! Oops. I mean, having fun with your friends is the best, right?!

But is it me or does this OVA suddenly introduce a bunch of new female characters?! I might not remember much about the series and the characters but I am very sure the series doesn’t have this much babes. Who the f*ck is that Hibari girl? Karura? Mikogami? Miria? Who those girls, dude?! So yeah, I figure with the 2 years of absence, those who don’t follow the manga may find themselves lost. On a side note, the manga ended in mid-2020! Last chance saloon to introduce them? Maybe they did appear in a very short cameo in the TV series or previous OVAs. But anyway, even with their debut here, I suppose it doesn’t make any difference since everybody will eventually be the same, fighting over Kogarashi’s love, showing their pantsu, showing their boobs, getting slutty and horny when the fanservice plot commands it. Oh well, the more the merrier.

Overall, there is nothing left for me to say about this single OVA. It did what it had to do and satisfied a lot of horny otaku perverts out there who wished they monopolized the inn just like Kogarashi did. A harem of spiritual beings is better than no harem at all. Since the manga has already ended, I’m not sure if this is a precursor to have another season but since I heard of no such announcement, I guess this OVA is indeed the last one. Oh my. What a way to make us nostalgic and go back to rewatch the fanservice goodness of this series. Otherwise, this series may have finally well rest in peace and ascended to horny heaven. Or hell. RIP Yuuna and co. Time to move on to the next fanservice and ecchi filled series. Ah, the curse of the living…

Onigiri

Damn, I thought this was an anime about that ubiquitous food in Japan. But from its kanji writing, I guess it is valid that Onigiri means Demon Cutter. Because Demon Slayer is already taken. Oh wait. Onigiri came out back in 2016 but Kimetsu No Yaiba was back in 2018. But anyway, this anime is one of those shorts adapted from a popular MMORPG of the same name then. And you’ve guessed it from the title. It’s about a group of humans in ancient Japan going about cutting up demons. Damn, I still can’t believe this anime doesn’t have anything to do with that rice ball grub.

Episode 1
As narrated, when the seal was broken, monsters known as Kamikui descended and caused chaos. Hence a bunch of girls (and a guy?) go round killing them. While attacking a bunch, Yoshitsune wants Shizuka Gozen to deliver the finishing blow for glory. However the rest wants a piece of it too and during the heat of the argument, Kamikui fight back and blow them away. Yoshitsune and Shizuka are blown far away to Satsuma. They see a bunch of Kamikui surrounding hapless ladies. Going into attacking mode, they pull no punches and pull off every weapon they have in their arsenal to do some big overkill! Oh yeah. The body count is rising fast! Before they could do the final blow, they are suddenly whisked away. Apparently the admin detected some faulty tool they’re using. So, they’re cheating? Because of that, their account is suspended for a week while pending investigations.

Episode 2
Shizuka and Yoshitsune are on their way back when they stumble into their friend, Douji Ibaraki who in turn bring them another friend of hers who run a sweets store. It seems she is facing a problem. Something about her sweets going to be taken over by another so she hopes some kind travellers will help her. Yoshitsune knows it is crocodile tears but with the other simpletons believing it, what else is there to do? So they go hunting for bat monsters who are the source of the sweets? Don’t let it bite your ass… Once they get into the groove, they start harvesting loads of them. Yeah, let’s make it more interesting by overkilling them with overpowered weapons! And then déjà vu… Because the admin detects unfair tools and hence suspend their account for another week.

Episode 3
A huge Kamikui, Mephistopheles attacks the land. Amaterasu and her angels go attack it but we’re completely owned. Oh, Amaterasu panicking and wished her friends are here to help? Yeah, they’re busy enjoying their ramen somewhere… Mephistopheles suddenly stops moving. And then cries?! It is revealed she is insecure about her height and couldn’t get cute boys to talk to her? Amaterasu pities her and thinks of holding a girl’s night out with her. Everything seems to have calmed down until Mephistopheles spots a famous dating spot and destroys it! Curse those baka couples! And Amaterasu is cursing for her friends to come help. Speaking of which, they just finished their ramen. Having stomach discomfort?

Episode 4
Shizuka’s group is now in Nagato but they are down and out from pufferfish poisoning! No, this is not an effect of the Kamikui! We shift to a bunch of looney characters who are out to steal Shizuka’s treasures. They are Uzume, Kijimuna and Veronica Vasilyevna Voynitsky. They make a joke out of how hard it is to pronounce Veronica’s full name. Like, each time Kijimuna slips, he dies and loses his experience and gold! Then fanservice battle because Uzume thinks she has all the curves that would easily beat Veronica’s washboard. However Veronica accidentally gets wet and this increases her sexiness level even further. Not to mention the producers putting more drawing details into Veronica. Kijimuna has them all calm down with lunch. Is that pufferfish?! Yeah, damn food poisoning took them out…

Episode 5
As Jin and Sakura fight the Kamikui, Jin feels bad for dragging Sakura into this. However she doesn’t regret it and cue for flashback on how they first met. The most cliché way of how a high school boy and girl meet. They bumped into each other, he saw her pantsu and she got mad and slapped him. And then soon she delivered some love letter to him but she claimed it was on behalf of her friend. But he rejected her? Next few scenes we see them doing things together and it’s like they’ve fallen for each other. And that’s how they end up fighting Kamikui together! Doesn’t explain anything!

Episode 6
Shizuka, Yoshitsune and Kaguya brave the sandstorm to reach an elusive store that sells lotteries? Well, it’s a miracle store that gives 10 times the chance of winning prizes. Oh damn, Shizuka splurging all her cash? I guess this betters her chances. Shizuka doesn’t thinks she could win on her first try but she pulls out a super rare legendary holy staff!!! Shizuka wanted to give Kaguya this so they could fight Kamikui together. But since Kaguya is being modest (despite her body actions just itching to take it), Shizuka throws it away! What a waste! Yeah, somebody got it and started some new legend that has nothing to do with this series! Now it is Kaguya’s turn. Uh huh. She gets all crappy and creepy items. Even winning those that are in decimal point range of rate chances?! This is sure crap! Shizuka decides to unleash her demonic eye and be one with the universe to pull off the greatest miracle. And she gets… Another crappy and creepy item. Wow. This is what a real loser looks like…

Episode 7
Shizuka’s side and Uzume’s side are drinking together?! Well, they were here to fight some Kamikui Satan. However no such monster and it is now a tourist spot. So you can see all the girls are drinking and getting drunk at this point. Kijimuna getting killed and revived from all their shenanigans. Heck, even Yoshitsune wants to have a try at killing it! What a brutal (but profitable) death! Then finally they bait us with some yuri lesbian sh*t with Shizuka and Uzume. Oh damn! Things are getting hot! Shizuka leading over subservient Uzume?! Something steamy going to happen as Shizuka carries Uzume away to somewhere private?! Will a new legend begin?!

Episode 8
Our girls have been cursed by some tanuki and turned chibi. Uzume finds them cute but Veronica gets jealous. Nobody is cuter than her! Too bad our chibi girls can still easily kick ass. They are approached by a producer of a talent agency, Shako Kamie who wants to turn them into famous idols. Damn, she’s already laid out the plans of what they’ll do to achieve that stardom! Oh yeah. All that glamour and fame, can’t resist it. 2 years later, Onigiri 5 is now a super famous idol group and they’re performing at some super famous concert filled to the brim with screaming fans.

Episode 9
We see a couple of Kamikui enjoying ramen. Yeah, they actually love it. For visual appeasement, we see them as cute humanoid girls, Gako and Gagomi. Yeah, this looks much better. However nearby, humans come to kill them and destroy their kind. They make a run for it but those barbarians give chase. In the end, Gagomi sacrifices herself to take out the humans while Gako gets washed away. When she wakes up, she is in the company of Shizuka and co. Gako has no memories of what happened. But when they feed her ramen, she can’t understand why tears start streaming. Is this supposed to be a sad episode?!

Episode 10
Shizuka is treating Gako well and treats her like her own sister. This causes Yoshitsune and Uzume to be very jealous. Shizuka continues to hang out with Gako until one point the jealous b*tches unleash a random Kamikui to attack them. Some twisted reasoning that this can win her love back. Whatever. Of course Shizuka is stronger and easily defeats it. However this act of Shizuka protecting Gako has the latter remember her original memories. Gako turns hostile towards Shizuka and turns into her gargoyle mode to kill her.

Episode 11
Shizuka and Gako fight. The latter is disheartened despite the times they spent together, Gako still wants to kill her. When Gako questions her mission, Shizuka contradicts herself it is to kill Kamikui! Didn’t she say humans and Kamikui can be friends?! How are they separate matters?! Fight interrupted when a giant Kamikui from space threaten to destroy the land. Since this land holds many special memories of Gagomi, Gako fights alongside Shizuka and her comrades to defeat it. Even summoning the spirit of Gagomi to vanquish the evil?! Probably it’s up to us to form our own conclusions what came to be of Gako and Gagomi. Happily together in the wheat field…

Episode 12
A giant Kamikui mecha is terrorizing the land. How to deal with it? Our Kamikui slayers ride an equally huge mecha, Benkei to tackle it! Yeah, they needed to include the mecha trope somehow. However it soon runs out of power. It doesn’t run on ordinary fuel but the willpower of those otaku drawing the animation! Even if they are given energy drinks to keep running, it is still not enough. Yoshitsune then decides to lend her power and soon the other girls follow. This powers up Benkei enough to finally defeat the Kamikui and the people of the land rejoice over their brave victory.

Episode 13
So the Kamikui girls are forced to evaluate what they have done so far? The system rep says because they’ve gone too far, they can’t do anymore extravagant action scenes. Hence they have to ‘repent’ their actions by doing a few random embarrassing and sexy fanservice pose of outfits. Oh yeah. Your 30 seconds of depravity here. Meanwhile, Jin and Sakura are being defeated by Uzume, Veronica, Kijimuna (in hot chick form) as well as other hot chick antagonists like Souryu, Satan, Lucifer and Mephistopheles. But don’t worry, the Kamikui girls return to help fight off the evil! Let’s go everyone!

Oh No! Giri-giri…
Oh. So they say the story will only continue if we create more of them? Thank goodness there are no more so this means there won’t be any sequels whatsoever, right? Hooray! Because I don’t think I’m really impressed with all the random crap that they’ve been churning out. Yes, crap and not story. Crap is something anybody can write but a good story is hard to come by these days. So I guess if you really want your ‘continuation story’, go play the game then. And of course it is that when you play the game you can ‘create’ that new story of your own. So go forth our brave Kamikui heroines. Your story shall be continued whoever is interested in playing the game. That’s not me for sure. Bye girls. System admin might kick me out and forever banned because I’m too harsh on you cutie pies.

Anyway, this kind of short anime series that was based on a popular game but the adapted version turned out to be such a bore and uninteresting somewhat reminds me of those animes that were similar adapted in the same fashion that I have watched such as Tenka Hyakken: Meiji-kan E Youkoso, Hagane Orchestra and Dolls’ Frontline. Am I seeing some sort of trend here or is it a given that when such games are being adapted, they don’t really convert well. Obviously with television shows and video games being very different entertainment mediums, there is bound for something to be lost in translation. Obviously, games you get to choose and more importantly interact but for the TV, you’re just given and made to accept everything without a chance of being in charge of your own destiny. And it is with this, the reason I feel Onigiri has failed to entertain me the slightest. Not that I played the game or even heard of the game until I decided to pick up the anime! Even so, it didn’t make me a single bit interested to further find out more about the game except just for a few lazy research for this blog. Yeah…

Like I’ve said, I haven’t heard or know it as a game before so when I dived in watching the series, there were lots of things that I didn’t really understand. Of course this series was meant to be funny and there were many situational comedies that would obviously make you laugh. What I’m trying to say is that, for someone who knows nothing about the game, all the episodes here feel so random like as though the producers just wanted to make fun and parody a few stuffs so as to make us laugh and squeal over the cute female characters. After all, the game is about cutting down Kamikui and it would be utterly boring if this was a serious hack and slash action adventure. So why not have the characters in some seemingly mindless comedic (mis)adventures anyway? Like, what have they got to lose, right? Hardcore fans are already locked in so this unentertaining adaptation would be unlikely to sway them to stop playing the game. Trying to get potential newbies to play the game, well, my sentiments have always been the same about this type of adaptation: Not good. So this might serve more as an exposure rather than a recruitment drive for new players. I think. Plus, with system admin seen suspending accounts, I don’t think people these days are motivated to play even if it’s to punish cheating. I know it’s a running joke but where’s the fun in that?! Isn’t the goal to kill Kamikui even if you used underhanded tactics?! Some dumb game, no wonder I don’t want to play! Hmph!

So if I am not amused with the story, what about the characters? You’ve guessed it. I’m not really impressed either. It feels like all of them are dumb just to add to the comedic factor. Just because they are looking cute, we look past that factor. I mean, how much more can you squeeze out of these characters? No wonder in the opening credits, they quickly list down the characters’ stats. If you care enough to pause and read them. So what else do we know about Shizuka? Don’t know. Dumb girl. Genki girl. She’s the main heroine. Yoshitsune? Dumb girl. Strict girl. Possible yuri for Shizuka but don’t put too much hope on it. Ibaraki? Dumb girl. Drunk girl. The other comic relief. Sakura, Kaguya and Amaterasu appear way much lesser so they aren’t that memorable. I don’t think I even remember how they look like if they pop up before me right now. I thought Uzume and Veronica had potential but they are also very minimal even if they are supposed to be the series’ antagonist or perhaps a milder version of Team Rocket. Like, Kijimuna’s running joke is to get killed and be resurrected, losing some coins, experience and his accumulated life total in the process. Makes you wonder why he isn’t really dead yet. And they introduced a whole bunch of new characters at the end? So cliché but I guess we don’t care at this point.

‘Best character’ goes to Jin because he is the silent protagonist. Oops, make that silent minor character. Because he doesn’t speak and has no lines since they’re obviously they are trying to break the fourth wall and tell us that there are no male voiceovers in the game. Not that he really matters anyway in the series. I guess that is one of the ‘advantages’ of not appearing as much because we’ve seen how dumb all the girls are that in this context it makes Jin the better one. I mean, you wonder if the girls are taking their job serious in cutting down all the Kamikui. Sometimes it feels like dumb luck because if they’re not cutting down demons, they’re frolicking. Oh well, got to have fun in between. Like the opening credits animation sees them dancing so lively like as though they are better off being idols than demon cutters. Oh wait. Didn’t they become that in one of the episodes?!

Art and animation are surprisingly good. Oh well, it is a short anime so got to put some effort into its 4 minutes of running time. Of course, all the girls have this cute looks because that’s just how the way it is. I mean, would you pick an ugly broad as one of your main or supporting characters?! And the Kamikui designs are pretty okay either. Not really that menacing but not really that scary either. This anime is done by Pierrot Plus who did Sabegebu, Konbini Kareshi and Mahou Shoujo Ore.

Overall, this isn’t actually a bad series but there isn’t anything interesting that would make me want to like it in the long run. That is, when I decide to think back on some nostalgic animes I have watched over the years, I’m sure this would be pretty forgettable by next season and totally dropped out from my mind after about a year. Unless I go back and look back at this blog again. Ah, the memories… Sure, the funny bits are there but overall it is still boring and plain. So what obligatory fanservice and action sequences? That is so standard these days. So what would make a better Onigiri adaptation, you ask? Onigiri crazy girls who hunt high and low all over Japan to seek the best and elusive onigiri to enjoy! Better a simple humble sandwich rice ball than a bunch of dumb but cute looking demon cutters. More satisfying the onigiri in your stomach than cutting up one. Yum… See, I can write better crap stories too!

Kurokami

Boy, do Koreans love God in their fiction works? Of course it is just a big coincidence but I can’t help think that after Tower Of God and The God Of High School, both stories in which originated from Korean authors, it somewhat reminded me that there was another Korean based series, Kurokami. Literally that translates as Black God. Because the internet wasn’t as widespread back in 2009, it wasn’t a webtoon but manhwa. That’s Korean manga to simply put it. So with that, the most ridiculous reason for me to check this old series out and find out why Koreans are fascinated with at least putting God in their titles. And also to check another retro series off my list. I should become the God of anime at the rate I am watching animes this year and the last…

Episode 1
Keita Ibuki looks like a normal kid. Normal high school life (though always late to class), hangs out by himself after school and giving excuses to turn down invitation to hang out with his classmates. Later that day, he sees a woman waiting at the train station. Not sure if his bicycle can chase after the train and of course he loses sight of her. Apparently that woman bears a striking resemblance to his late mom, Maki who died in a hit and run accident. Next day in school, he heard his friends talking about seeing their own doppelganger at a concert they attended yesterday. Later while he is eating ramen at the stall, this strange girl, Kuro doesn’t have enough money to buy her own ramen. So she’s staring at Keita’s… Kind boy gives it to her. Don’t worry, it’s almost time daddy credits his monthly allowance. When Keita talks about the strange fate of meeting your doppelganger, Kuro dismisses it as a myth. To be more accurate, there is a system to maintain such balance called 1 in 3. All 3 have different fates and if any of the 2 who meet up will subsequently disappear. The remaining one will then absorb their fates. This means Maki wasn’t the original and just a filler. Suddenly a mad man whacks Kuro from behind with a baseball bat. He continues beating her up till Keita intervenes. Too bad he isn’t much of a fighter. Kuro revives and gets mad for the spilled ramen. You’d think she’d pull off some super moves now but nope. She continues to get beaten up! This guy isn’t going to kill her because of orders to bring her back alive. But when he lets his guard down, I guess Kuro is finally warmed up and sends him flying with her super combos. In the end, Kuro apologizes to Keita for dragging him into this. She goes off to kill her brother. Keita isn’t living all alone because Akane Sano who is his childhood friend helps take care of him. She thinks Keita hasn’t been making friends since because of some jinx he thought he brought to a friend. Then sad news on TV, looks like one of his classmates got killed. So this gives him a pass to skip school and scream out his lungs at his hideout? Feeling much better? While waiting to cross the road, Mayu who is his kid neighbour tells him that she saw a person that looked just like her. Before Keita could do or say anything, a f*cking speeding truck rams and kills Mayu!!! WTF???!!!

Episode 2
Seiji beats up the punk who lost to Kuro and then has the others from his Tribal End gang to go look for her. Keita attends Mayu’s funeral as he remembers the moment mom died. Slightly before that, she saw her own doppelganger. One day he returns from school, he is shocked to see Kuro at his place rummaging through his fridge! Apparently her dog, Punipuni remembers his scent and sniffed his way here. Also, Kuro was hungry and was saved by Akane. Akane is about to cook for Kuro but Keita who is sick of all that has happened, tells her to leave. Hey, it’s his place. So he has the right to kick her out. After Kuro leaves, Keita goes to treat her who is bumming around at the park? Change of heart or does he need to know more about what’s going on? I thought he didn’t want to get involved anymore? Anyway, Kuro explains the Doppeliner system. People like Kuro are called Mototsumitama and their role is to keep the balance of coexistence. As all beings receive an equal amount of Tera (basically luck), but due to fate, a person’s soul is divided into 3. So when a doppelganger meets another, the one with the lower Tera will be absorbed into the higher one. Hence the remaining one will absorb all Tera and become the Master Root. Talk interrupted when Seiji and his men are here. Seiji has killed and devoured 4 Mototsumitama so that he could go to a higher place. That’s why he wants to kill Kuro too. His men can’t fight on par with Kuro so I guess it’s just to test her aptitude. Seiji then fights her and she is surprised he can use a type of power called Exceed. This is possible of the high grade Mototsumitama he consumed. Kuro takes a beating. Keita on the other hand is too scared to call the police. He just stood there and got killed by Seiji. This angers Kuro as he beats up Seiji and takes Keita to escape. She then heals him by fusing their souls whatever and making some contract. Done in time because Seiji’s back for payback. With the contract, Keita seems to be in sync with Kuro as they could fight better and send Seiji to his electrifying defeat.

Episode 3
Steiner and Excel are in town as they’ve detected large amounts of Tera. Like as though somebody is trying to mass produce the Master Root. Kuro is glad that Keita is okay. But for the next few days, she wants him to stay near him until their hearts are completely integrated. Say what? You see, when they made the contract, they switched hearts! Straying too far might cause some damage. Kuro also hopes they can do Synchro. It’s some move that allows them to well, synchronize and activate an incredible power during combat. Good luck trying to explain all that Akane without sounding like a girl who wants to sleep with Keita. With Keita being distant (can’t blame him since he is still traumatized), Kuro talks to Akane to find out more about Keita. Yeah, believe it he is a nice kid despite his outlooks. When Keita is in school, a couple of Tribal End punks barge into his home to kidnap Kuro who is home alone. She takes a beating and Keita can feel some pain in his heart. Kuro manages to give them the slip and escapes. When Keita is about to go home to check on her, his teacher wants to talk to him about the Doppeliner system he told him the other day. It seems he believes in such a system where the one with the highest luck is chosen to survive. He also thinks Keita should help contribute to society as such a path will save him. Just then, Kuro enters school to seek Keita’s help. She recognizes sensei as part of Tribal End. Sensei shows his true colours as he beats up a weakened Kuro and thanks Keita that this will earn great promotion for him. Keita can’t take any more of this and uses the fire extinguisher on him to buy some time to escape. They can’t run forever, though. When Keita learns sensei was the one who leaked info on his students and partly caused their deaths, that’s the last straw. He does Synchro with Kuro and instantly she powers up that her punches send sensei flying!!! OMFG!!!

Episode 4
Steiner and Excel visit Akane working at the bank personally under the guise as customers. They sense great Tera from her but note she is not contracted to a Mototsumitama. When Akane leaves, they tail her. She meets up with Keita and Kuro at the diner. Keita tells of how they beat up their sensei although he started the attack. Now they are on the run and can’t go back to school. When Akane suggests calling the cops, Kuro disagrees. So the cops are behind this? More like, she stole bananas, got arrested and thrown into prison and then busted out! Oh sh*t. When Kuro notes that since they have Synchro, they are now almost invincible and can take on her brother, Keita throws a fit. He didn’t agree to all this and now she wants him to help kill her brother? F*ck off! Man, cool down! Meanwhile sensei is being tortured by Hiyou for his failure. But he spares his life after he spills some useful info. Hiyou then takes this chance to experiment on him in trying to form a contract without using the heart. Whatever it is, it looks painful. Ouch. Daichi Kuraki sees Yuki Kaionji for some approval but she is not pleased he still hasn’t found what she wants. As Kuro apologizes for all the trouble to Keita but also gives some hope that contractors can benefit each other in the long term, Keita was observant to notice Steiner and Excel have been observing them all day in that stationary car. Immediately he takes the girls to run but bad luck has it that they stumble into Tribal End, biker version! These guys have orders from Hiyou to take Kuro back alive and kill the rest. Those guys use their bikes to bully and beat up Kuro. Keita can’t do sh*t. Before Akane gets owned, Steiner comes to her rescue. This guys just punches everybody! Bikers get scared and escape?! Steiner wants Keita to come with them for interrogation. Instead, Keita punches him and is mad for dragging all of them into this. So f*ck off! However that punch signals a challenge. This means they have to fight. Who the f*ck made such rules?!

Episode 5
Trolling us with Kuro beating up Steiner, he is just testing waters because now it’s turn to give her a beat down. They’re so confident that Excel thinks they don’t even need to use Synchro to beat them. So when Keita starts using Synchro with Kuro, she is able to pull off an Exceed move. As Excel explains, the ones used by Tribal End are fake and have their limits. Time to end this so the veterans use their Synchro and Steiner using his Exceed of cloning himself to beat down the duo. With today’s lesson over, Exceed will tell them things in exchange for inviting out to tea. Excel and Steiner are from a group known as Noble One. It is a union of Mototsumitama tasked in keeping the balance in Europe. So if Noble One detected some unbalance in Japan and made this their mission, isn’t there a Mototsumitama union at least for Asia? I guess not. It seems this unbalance started 7 years ago in Okinawa (so now they’re only taking action?) and their only clue is a photo. To Keita and Kuro’s surprise, Maki is in that picture. Could it be her clone? From that photo date, Maki is still alive so they aren’t sure. Also, Okinawa is Maki’s birthplace. There are no further clues and the agent who took this picture got killed. So I guess that’s why they took so long to investigate because secret investigations have been leading Noble One to dead ends? They take their leave and since Keita and Kuro can Synchro, they can defend themselves. Later Kuro reveals that in the photo, the guy with a tattoo is her brother. That’s why she is going to Okinawa to settle things. You mean she’s going to walk and swim there?! Does she know how far that is?! Because it’s an excuse that Keita will also come with her. Not for her. But to confirm his own things. Okay, but is he going to walk and swim with her there???!!! Meanwhile those biker dudes get killed off by Mikami Houjou. Well, if they can’t live up to Hiyou’s standards, he’s going to send somebody to kill you!

Episode 6
Hiyou gives Mikami medicine as payment for her job. If she succeeds in getting Kuro, she’ll get more. Mikami confronts Keita and gets straight to the point that she just wants Kuro. Please hand her over. You think he’ll do that? Didn’t think so. Also, Keita gets beaten up by her as Mikami calls Akane to speak to Kuro that she has Keita as hostage. If she wants him, come to a certain place. Meanwhile Steiner and Excel barge into an illegal factory run by Tribal End. They discover horrifying Mototsumitama experiments as well as some holy stone fragment that is used to suck all Tera out from a Mototsumitama. Back at Mikami’s place, she tells Keita that he is only a Sub, one who will die and will be absorbed by the Master Root. Keita is shocked because Kuro didn’t say anything. Mikami then goes to tend to Shingo, her partner whom she gets the medicine for. At that time, Kuro arrives and Keita lashes out at her for not telling everything. Kuro feels sorry but thinks as long as they trust each other, everything will be okay. Mikami doesn’t think so because in the end, Subs will always die. Shingo is a living example of it. He is a Sub and contracted with Mikami 10 years ago. Despite only in his 30s, he looks like an old man. This is the effect of using too much Synchro. All that’s left is for the Mototsumitama ladies to fight. With Kuro losing, Shingo encourages Keita to help her. She might die, you know. This traumatizes Keita since he doesn’t want to see more deaths. He does Synchro to power up Kuro. She manages to fight back as Shingo too wants to Synchro with Mikami. Have faith in him. He is not as frail as she thinks he is. With both sides now in full power, Mikami still has the upper hand. Both realize they need to end this fast as this taking a toll on their Subs. Kuro takes a beating but it is to wait for an opening to give one powerful punch in her face. Too bad it didn’t work. When Mikami delivers the final blow to Kuro, it seems it costs Shingo his life. Mikami is distraught as Shingo’s last words to her are not to blame those 2. Thanks to them, they manage to fight together at full force and he has always wanted to go out coolly like this. Well, Mikami doesn’t think it’s cool dying like that. RIP, Shingo.

Episode 7
No Okinawa travelling woes because Akane took leave and will be following them. Meanwhile Hiyou is not pleased somebody trashed his factory. He is going to get Kuro. Later, Keita and co see a few Tribal End guys chasing down a pair. Had not Riona Kogure get slightly injured, her Mototsumitama, Yakumo wouldn’t have pulled off amazing kung fu moves to defeat the enemies. Yakumo recognizes Kuro since she is the princess of their tribe. Introducing Riona, she is the Master Root. The Kaionji Group may be a conglomerate but behind the shadows they are experimenting with making Master Roots. When one becomes so, they are placed under their care. However this is for an experiment and that’s why Riona ran away. Luckily she stumbled into Yakumo who protected her. They heard rumours that some bigshot is going to Okinawa with some Master Roots. It could be Reishin who is Kuro’s brother. Since Keita doesn’t want to be left in the dark, time for Kuro to tell her past. Mototsumitama live in some other world surrounded by a barrier. Some holy stone protects the land and fills it with Tera. One day, Reishin killed many of his people and even his mother. Then he decided to go down to Earth to create a new world and destroy the world’s fate. Kuro became distraught and that’s why she hunted him down. Depending on his answer, she will kill him. Kuro is confronted by Hiyou, one who was banished from the land because of the experiments he performed on humans. Hiyou will tell her anything if she becomes his. Since she won’t, he will kill Keita. Obviously he is weak and a pussy. Hiyou even egging him to use Synchro and fight him. They did but Hiyou is still too strong. Maybe Yakumo and Riona can help. It did. So much so Hiyou abandons their fight for next time. While waiting for the plane to Okinawa, Keita feels sorry that Kuro too lost her mom. Never knew that, huh? Suddenly Kuro cries, creating a really awkward public situation so time for Keita to give his assurance to fight alongside her. Feel better? Before they leave, Excel gives Keita a special ring, Thousand. It’s to enhance his Tera power. Of course he has to practice daily to use it properly. Then it’s like a farewell present as Excel kisses Keita! Don’t worry, Yakumo’s got Kuro’s eyes all covered.

Episode 8
Akane is still bugged by Excel’s kiss so she hugs Keita’s arm tightly? Arriving at Okinawa, the trio head to Keita’s grandpa’s place. They get down to business as Keita shows that picture. Grandpa doesn’t recall this and wonders if this is really his mom. Keita is of course at a lost to explain the complicated stuffs to grandpa. Oh well, Kuro starts off ranting about the Doppeliner system as well as being contracted to Keita. Did you get all that? Okay, don’t sweat the details for now. Let’s just feast and have fun! Kuro gonna love all the food and Akane getting drunk… Next day, they even have the whole day having fun at the beach. Hey, I thought Keita said they didn’t come here to have fun? Might as well. Because as they head back, they are attacked by local twin Mototsumitama, Kakuma and Makana. They think Keita and co are bad guys after the local holy stone because of that picture. Kuro gets beaten up and Keita restrained. Keita then remembers Excel’s words on Thousand and with that, it resonates and gives Kuro enough power to fight back till the Okinawan twins give up. They explain that 7 years ago, the Shishigami group came to Okinawa in search for the holy stone. The local Mototsumitama fought to protect that but all died except the twins. Keita wonders if mom had a hand in killing the locals too. The twins vowed to continue protecting the land and don’t need their help despite sensing a large amount of Tera flowing into Okinawa recently. This large flow is thanks to all the Master Roots being invited here by Kaionji Group. Kuraki plays host to them and tells them about their gathering as a secret mission to find and destroy the holy stones. As the holy stones’ location are previously unknown, under this new project, by gathering large amounts of Tera, it will cause the holy stones to react and pinpoint their location. By destroying it all and causing some unbalance, they will destroy this world and create a new one consisting of only the Mototsumitama and the chosen Master Roots.

Episode 9
Yuki is getting impatient as she talks to Reishin about quickly finding her counterpart. Once she becomes the Master Root, she’ll show her father and siblings of her place in the Kaionji Group. But she has to be ushered away since Noble One is here to capture Reishin. Reishin goes fight them as he reveals his plans to destroy this world in place of a new one. Though, he hints he won’t be the true god. After a short fight, Reishin escapes. Now we see Kuraki talking to Raiga. He is Keita’s childhood friend and after Maki died, he became curious about the Doppeliner system and hacked into the Kaionji Group’s server to do more research. He then confronted Reishin about this Master Root plan thingy as Kaionji Group has surveillance cameras in all their subsidiaries to find people with identical faces. Reishin hired him since they share the same goal to create a new world together. But Kuraki knows that is just a cover up and his plan is to bring chaos to the world by destroying the holy stones. As Keita practises by himself, he is shocked to see Maki before him. More precisely, the Master Root Maki. He confirms with her that she was indeed here 7 years ago but she claims she was brought here to fight Mototsumitama. She feels bad that his mom is a Sub. Had they not met, she would’ve still been alive. Kakuma and Makana are happy to see Raiga alive. However he beats them up and kidnaps Kakuma. Makana goes to Kuro for help but Hiyou is here to take her with him. Just the mention that Keita might be dead has her guard down as he takes her out. Maki steals Keita’s Tera until he is died out. But looks like Keita could sense Kuro being going to be raped by Hiyou so is that the power that revives him? Maki gets some payback because Keita uses Thousand to blast her away!

Episode 10
Kuraki sees Akane and wants her to come with him. Meanwhile Kakuma wakes up and sees Reishin before him. She recognizes this killer and thinks no matter what he does to her, she won’t reveal the location of the holy stone. Well, the joke’s on her. He already got the key. It’s you, Kakuma. Hiyou trying to rape Kuro! She fights back but thankfully she powers up because Keita is here. However she is still no match since Shinobu (that Maki clone) is here to keep Keita busy. She is also contracted to Hiyou so they Synchro as Hiyou shows his Exceed. So basically he is a water bender. As for why Shinobu can absorb Tera despite being human, it is because she is a Minus Root. What?! Apparently if a Sub kills the Root, they become one. Then it is revealed she was the one who killed Maki. Short flashback shows Shinobu is always unlucky. Her life is just one big misery. Until Hiyou picked her up and told her about the Doppeliner system. So when she found her Root, that’s when she drove her car and killed Maki. Shinobu tries to get Keita to come to their side and perhaps Hiyou will help him find and kill his Root. Well, Keita doesn’t think so. Because Maki claims she is happy but she doesn’t look happy. Besides, that kind of happiness isn’t what she wants. So this is enough to rile Shinobu up, enough for Keita to punch and knock her out? Oh well, it’s about time he gives Kuro some power to fight back Hiyou who is still trying to rape her. Hiyou remains cocky that despite powering up, this won’t be enough to stop him. But Keita puts all his focus to power up Kuro and this single punch sends Hiyou flying through the caves’ columns! And somehow that affected Shinobu. Now she feels scared of dying and felt all she wanted was just happiness. Too bad she ran out of luck and died. RIP, Shinobu. Keita feels sad for her and wonders what decision he will make if he meets his Root. As they emerge out, Kuraki is waiting for them. Took a while for Keita to recognize him but when he does, he coughs blood and collapses?! Too dramatic! In the aftermath, we see Hiyou in a pod and scared to death as Kuraki has Raiga who is also his Mototsumitama take all his Tera.

Episode 11
Flashback shows Kuraki was known as Sawamura and was Keita’s classmate but he died. However he faked his death back then just to work with Reishin and research more on the Doppeliner system. The real Kuraki committee suicide so he took on his identify because it would be odd if he suddenly disappears. Before you can scream traitor, Kuraki plans to revolt against Reishin and that’s why he wants Keita to join him. You see, Kuraki realized Reishin was misusing the system to create a world only convenient to Mototsumitama. He thinks such system should be administered by humans and stop being controlled by fate. Kuraki is into all this thanks to Keita. Further flashback reveals Kuraki was a nerd so he was often bullied. But Keita stepped in to help in and Kuraki knew Keita was just a hypocrite since he was always distancing himself and not making any friends. Then they talked as he learnt Keita did so because of this fate thingy where the people closes to him always dies. He accepted that he can’t run away from his fate and even more so when Kuraki died. That was when Kuraki became interested in this fate thingy. Now he wants to save Keita and with his technology, he can avoid the Root and Sub from meeting. Keita rests up but despite being weak, he still needs to go with Kuro to fight Reishin. Cue for your cheesy Akane tears and pleas for him to stay by his side. Understood. But he still needs to go. Cue for your cheesy Akane kiss. Is that a charm for him to come back safely? Kuro meets up with Makana to find her twin but unfortunately she could feel Kakuma has died. Raiga killed her and dipped his blood soaked hands into the sea. It then shows a path that breaks the barrier concealing the holy land. This is where the holy stone is. Kuro doesn’t have to go alone. Keita is here. So they’re gonna swim there?! Kuraki tells Akane to stay here because it’s the safest place. He reveals she is a Sub and her Root is Yuki. You know what will happen if her men finds her, right? But later he calls Yuki to tell her she has found her doppelganger! Reishin is on the holy land and before the holy stone. Kuro and Keita too. Hi onii-san. Long time no see.

Episode 12
Even with Synchro and Exceed, Kuro cannot best Reishin. And this is draining Keita fast. Kuro won’t risk his life but Keita is willing to risk it all. He might die at this rate. Why did she come here in the first place? Too bad that’s the end of this sappy drama because Keita passes out. Here comes Yakumo and Riona to take on Reishin but are usurp by Steiner and Excel. You weaklings take Kuro and Keita to safety while they deal with the big boss. We see the big power fight between Reishin and Steiner. Reishin having the upper hand until Steiner uses his cloning Exceed. Just when Steiner thought he won, Reishin pulls off a powerful move. Next thing we know, Steiner’s clone takes Excel to safety and the real deal died. With Reishin busy trying to destroy the holy stone, Raiga attacks him. Kuraki pops up and shows his true traitorous face that he does not agree with Reishin’s Mototsumitama-only world. So from what I understand is happening now, the events of this great outflow of Tera that is so concentrated in a place will eventually be drawn to the entity with the highest Tera. This will cause a split in the time-space continuum and create a wormhole. So to close this wormhole, the one with the highest Tera can only seal it. That’s you, Reishin. Reishin claims that even if this is successful, Kuraki’s ideals won’t come true. He then gets sucked in and a great shockwave envelops the world. In the aftermath, the president of Kaionji Group who is also Yuki’s father wants to thank Kuraki for his support in making his company successful. He will appoint him as the group’s vice president.

Episode 13
It has been 6 months since that incident. With Reishin missing, Kuro is now wandering aimlessly since she has no goal. Kuraki is doing well as Kaionji Group’s vice. His Master Root plan is also taking off very nicely. Because with the majority of Master Roots in Japan, the country is prospering thanks to all the luck. There is minor trouble is Noble One plans on ambushing them. However Kuraki has taken care of it. Suddenly Noble One is to back down and return to Europe. HQ orders. Turns out the big boss of Noble One is now working with Kaionji Group. All for the sake of the future, right? Kuraki then goes to see Akane who seems to be ‘in captive’ and is also in the dark about Keita’s whereabouts. He still won’t allow her to leave the place. With many Noble One members returning to Europe, some of them like Bernhard and Jean remain because they believe in carrying out Steiner’s will. It seems Keita is in a comatose state ever since and is lying in a secret place. Kuro still feeling guilty for forming a contract with him?! Oh man, after all that’s been done, you’re regretting it now?! Anyway, this place is discovered by some of the Master Roots working under Kaionji Group. They are here to take Keita. So we see them fight but thanks to some upgraded Thousand device, they have a hard time breaking through. As usual, Kuro gets a beating and is about to lose when she hears Keita’s voice to fight. She can’t in fear it will use up his Tera. Don’t worry. JUST FIGHT! And with that, they Synchro and she beats down their ass. Oh, Keita is also up. About time. Seeing this, their comrades get a timely morale booster as they too go on the offensive to shatter the enemy’s defence. Now everybody can rejoice that Keita has finally awakened. What took you so long?

Episode 14
Yuki’s father announces to his siblings that he will not only appoint Kuraki as vice but also let him marry Yuki. Of course this does not sit well with them. And Yuki herself doesn’t like this arrangement since she is actually in love with Reishin. Her plan to initially use Kuraki backfired and instead he is now using her. Her big sister calls and wants to help her out since the siblings don’t want the company to fall into the hands of the outsider. But when she goes meet them, to her surprise it is Kuraki who turns up. Either her siblings got bought out or betrayed her since Kuraki mentions he talked to them and they agreed to whatever terms he proposed. Yuki tries to oppose but Kuraki maintains the point that she is useless and cannot do anything but rely on others. It is revealed that she is just a Sub and dares her to choose her own ending. Keita is adamant to go rescue Akane even it looks like a suicide mission. That will hardly be it as Bernhard lets the gang know about Kaionji Group’s inauguration party for Kuraki. At the party, Kuraki makes his grand speech about his plans for Master Roots. Yuki has fallen into depression as she contemplates on suicide. But then the party is interrupted by Keita and Kuro. They claim Kuraki has deceived and lied to everyone and sacrificed a lot of Subs just for this. Even if it is for a better fate, Keita will not accept and hence vows to destroy fate. That gave Yuki an idea… The party is thrown into chaos as Noble One fight among each other (as they are hired as security for the party). Lapdogs versus traitors. Yeah, it’s getting messy. Kuraki lets Raiga handle Keita and Kuro while he goes to Akane. Kuro once again feels reluctant to use too much power in fear in draining Keita’s power. But don’t worry. Bernhard and Jean are here to take over so they can do what’s important. Meanwhile Yuki confronts Akane in her room. It is revealed Akane is the actual Root and Kuraki lied to her about her being a Sub to be used as his trump card and insurance to gain foothold in the company. Yuki plans to become a Minus Root and kill Akane. So this is what destroying fate means? Hope it doesn’t backfire on Keita…

Episode 15
Akane starts crying and blames herself?! If only she didn’t exist?! Is she trying reverse psychology?! I don’t think Akane is that kind of person but Yuki remains sceptical. However this makes Yuki also unable to kill her. Enough time for Kuraki to come by and slap his woman. He calls her stupid for meeting her clone and now she’s going to die anyway. Before he can shoot her, Akane comes to protect her. But why? Because they’re alike. At least I understand both of them being used and deceived by Kuraki. Keita and Kuro stumble into Yakumo getting beaten up by Shinra. He is one of Reishin’s followers. He contracted with Master Root Mayu so I guess he has some awesome Tera power. This means Keita wants Kuro to go all out with their Synchro. However Kuro loses power. Yakumo explains that perhaps because Kuro unconsciously doesn’t want to use up his power to kill him, hence she involuntarily rejected his Tera. Yakumo takes over fighting but he is still no match. Keita then uses his Tera to aim around the ceiling. Yeah, the whole slab came crashing down! Plus, how convenient Akane and Yuki were a few floors on top at that exact spot! Thank goodness they survive their fall! Yuki will explain later and for now she wants them to escape in her helicopter before Kuraki’s reinforcements come. However with Raiga coming into the scene, Keita has Yuki only take Akane away while the rest stay back to buy time for their escape. Poor Akane. Just when she got reunited with Keita, now they’re separated again. While flying, the helicopter then loses control and crashes into the sea. Oh well, I can only think it’s Yuki’s fate. Yeah, she’s just sitting there sinking to the bottom, like as though she doesn’t give a f*ck about living anymore. This is it… As Keita and get ready to face Kuraki’s side, Kuraki brings out a trump card: Isn’t that Keita’s clone?! Damn, Keita the man in the iron mask?!

Episode 16
Kuraki wants Keita to kill his clone which is the Root. Do it and he’ll become a Minus Root and live. But Keita refuses to do it. He will not kill someone else for his own survival. It’s not about winning. It’s about principles! Yeah. Principle > fate. He tells Kuro to go all out on their Synchro. We’re going to beat the crap out of them. But first, they have to fight Shinra. This guy still lives? Oh yeah. It’s to showcase how powerful Keita-Kuro pair is. They defeat the guy but it takes a toll on Keita. All part of Kuraki’s plan to wear him down. Because now it’s Raiga’s turn to beat him up. Kuro is no match and more so, Keita’s Tera is being slowly absorbed by his Root. Until it reaches the limit. Then it’s over. Oh damn, Keita dead?! Say it isn’t so! Kuro so sad when suddenly Keita springs back to life! What gives?! They both have double crests on their hands now. It seems Kuro’s Tera is cycling through him. Can such a miracle happen!? Yes. It’s called plot convenience! Now Kuro is so powerful and even breaks down Raiga’s Exceed. In the end, Raiga is defeated and dies. So why can’t Kuraki cycle his Tera through him? I guess their bond isn’t that good, huh? Now Kuraki rants about all he wanted was Keita to support him in managing fate since he was the ideal person to do so. He never intended to kill him in the first place. So why?! Keita sympathizes with Kuraki fighting fate all alone. Keita was the same but he has changed as he has others by his side. So screw fate. We’re not redoing this again. Keita is going to destroy this Doppeliner system. Once everyone finishes up their fights, a report comes in about Yuki’s helicopter crash. Yuki’s body has been found at the bottom of the ocean floor but Akane remains missing. Suddenly everyone drops dead. Everyone around the world too! OMG! Is it because the holy land suddenly pops up?! Holy stones everywhere destroyed. Look who’s back? It’s Reishin. He looks even darker.

Episode 17
Only those contracted to Mototsumitama are still alive. They head to the holy land and stumble into an unfamiliar Mototsumitama named Nam. She claims she is from a tribe that records all of history and is here to do the same. Because the holy stones of the world are destroyed, Tera all over are being absorbed into this great holy stone in this holy land. Such amassed power will eventually become a weapon to destroy the world. This is the truth about the whole world. According to records, there were 3 types of beings: Humans, Mototsumitama and Masagami. They maintain the harmony and balance of the world until Masagami tried to force to other 2 to work the lands on Earth. After that completion, Masagami wanted to kill all humans. Mototsumitama was against it since they coexisted with humans. So both formed a pact to fight against Masagami. After a long fight, Masagami was defeated and sealed. Because of their vast power, they were sealed in many holy stones in addition to the great holy stone. But before their sealing, Masagami placed a curse on the humans: The Doppeliner system. Yes, it is a system to torment the humans. The Mototsumitama who were tasked to maintain the balance of Tera, this is only so because when the number of Master Roots increase, this would lead to greater saturation of Tera and hence leading of the revival of Masagami’s power sealed inside the great holy stone. Conversation interrupted because here is Aragi and Sora from a different Mototsumitama tribe claiming he will be getting all that power for himself. I suppose this is your fight scene for this episode. Because of their gravitation Exceed, it limits Kuro and Keita’s movements. But then I didn’t know Keita can’t shoot beams!!! This destroys Sora’s Thousand and enables Kuro to beat down Aragi. Aragi thinks Kuro and Reishin want to take the power of Masagami all for themselves. Speaking of Reishin, he fights and kills all of Noble One. The only survivor is Jean. Then Excel pops up claiming Reishin must have exerted a lot of power to kill her comrades so it’s the best time to take him down once and for all. So if you’re wondering where has Excel been for the past few episodes, looks like she made a new contract with Mikami.

Episode 18
Flashback shows how Excel formed a contract with Mikami to seek revenge on Steiner. Kuro and Keita run into a plant controlling Mototsumitama, Tenma and Kohaku. So I guess this is their fight for this episode. Because of the trees and plants hiding them, they cannot trace the whereabouts of the enemies so easy and Kuro as usual takes a beating. It is only with Punipuni’s aid of sniffing the enemies out that Kuro has a chance in taking them down. However the island shakes a little and this distraction allows Tenma to attack Kuro. The little earthquake means Reishin has reached the top and the great holy stone has reacted to him. However I am not sure how that killed Tenma! Bloodied Mototsumitama… The second half sees a fight between Reishin and Excel-Mikami pair. It seems Excel is prepared to die in this fight so long as she gets to kill Reishin. Mikami knows this already because she too had someone precious who died. Hence she will also fight to the death. Mikami goes all out in taking down Reishin as Excel provides all the Tera she can. But then we won’t get to see how the fight ends because by the time Kuro and Keita arrives, looks like Mikami is beaten up and by death’s door. Excel rues another failure and didn’t take into account this possibility that Reishin has gotten stronger because he has contracted with someone. But we won’t have to wait next episode to find out because that person he is contracted to… AKANE!!!

Episode 19
Keita blames Reishin and thinks he has brainwashed her. Enough talking. Let the fists do the talking. And here we go. Lots of punching and more punching. Wow. Kuro actually defeated Reishin? If it’s too good to be true, probably it is. It’s still too early so Reishin revives thanks to Akane supplying him more Tera. Yeah, Reishin is shooting fireballs now! Finally Akane speaks and wants them to leave this land because they are not strong enough to acquire the power of Masagami. Keita still thinks Akane has been brainwashed but she claims she is doing this on her own will. It dawned to Keita that Akane was the real target and Yuki was just only a distraction since Akane has way more Tera power than expected. So Keita and Kuro are going to add to their mission list of saving Akane in addition to destroying this cursed Doppeliner system. They think defeating Reishin will bring her back to her senses. Both sides claim there are strong enough to defeat the other. Well, someone’s got to give. More power punching and the winner of this punch fest is… Reishin! There’s your answer. Oh damn, Kuro blown away. Because of their shared Tera and lives, this means if either one dies, the other also dies. Don’t worry about Kuro and Keita dying yet, though. They just fainted, right?

Episode 20
Excel and Mikami still alive? Oh, so they can see Akane with Reishin and be shocked? Nam watches Reishin uses all his power to break the great holy stone. Malicious spirits start flying out attacking them. It isn’t the Masagami but the embodiment of all the hatred and negative emotions. While Yakumo fights his part to keep those spirits at bay, Nam takes unconscious Keita and Kuro away. She heals them but only Keita wakes up. Reishin continues to fight all the spirits. He is hoping that he would face the Masagami, the reason he came all the way here. Flashback on the truth. When mother was still alive, she spotted the crest on Kuro’s hand. Then she tells Reishin that no doubt the elders will kill Kuro because that crest is proof that she is the embodiment of Masagami. The only hope as she saw in her dream was a human (Akane) who will possess the greatest Tera once she becomes the Master Root, enabling them to fight against the Masagami. But the elders want to prevent this fight and hence the killing of Kuro. Reishin tries to talk to the elders that he will go defeat the Masagami but they don’t believe him. Both camps start to fight each other and hence this bloody massacre was mistaken as Reishin’s doing. A way to release the Mototsumitama from their cursed fate (when Mototsumitama defeated the Masagami, they were placed with a curse that a Masagami shall be reincarnated among them once every century), the great holy stone must drink the blood of the greatest Mototsumitama priestess to break the seal on the land. This is why Reishin killed his mother then build up the Tera by producing Master Roots to create a wormhole so he could destroy all the holy stones from the source they shared. After that, he saved Akane from drowning and formed a contract with her. All to awaken the Masagami and defeat it. Reishin has defeated enough spirits to summon the Masagami. A couple of Kuro clones? Not surprisingly, Kuro wakes up and now knows everything. She is a Masagami who placed the curse on humans and realizes Reishin was trying to save her all this time.

Episode 21
Now comes the epic power battle between Reishin and the Masagami duo. With the duo’s extreme powers, one second the land is frozen and the next everything is burnt down. Reishin puts up a good fight and manages to use lots of Tera to extinguish them. However due to the system, they are on track for resurrection. And fast. Reishin plans to destroy them before they can become whole again but it couldn’t be a worse possible timing because Kuro has awakened as a Masagami. She attacks Reishin, disrupting his flow and giving enough time for her Masagami counterparts to regenerate. Reishin takes a beating from the terrible trio. Once he is down, they try to combine themselves into one and rule the entire world. Better stop this quick because Kuro will cease to be Kuro forever. So Keita thinks he can shout out to her? Yeah. Like that will work. At least Yakumo, Riona, Excel and Mikami jump in to fight the Masagami despite it all seems like a suicide attempt. They didn’t last long. Keita tries again. Talking about the bond and time he spent with Kuro, he finally manages to wake her back up again. She’s not a Masagami. But a Mototsumitama named Kuro. Well, that was easy. Yeah, everything so easy with a contract. With Kuro back, she Synchro with Keita to take on the Masagami. The Masagami try to get rid of Keita who is Kuro’s power source but Reishin protects him. With the saturated Tera, he uses his ultimate Exceed to destroy their regeneration process (but not destroy them entirely). However it comes at the cost of his life.

Episode 22
Reishin’s death in vain because Masagami fused their Tera to avoid death! Yeah, they’re hideous. Eventually the form they’ve taken looks like Gill from Street Fighter! Kuro fights them and Masagami is trying to force and fuse Kuro with them to become one. But with Akane and Keita using their Thousand to Synchro, she channels all her Tera to Kuro to fight back. Damn, the holy land split in half! Eventually Kuro wins this short power battle and returns her excess Tera to the land. In the aftermath, everyone returns to their lives, like as though none of this happened. Is Keita’s place a new spot for everyone to crash? Nam is staying here because she claims she has more to record. I hope she isn’t ‘observing’ what will happen next between Keita and Kuro. Everyone except Excel and Mikami. They’re going back to Germany. When Keita saves a girl from being run over by a truck, Nam realizes the Masagami’s curse isn’t broken. THIS DEDUCTION FROM JUST A SINGLE OBSERVATION?! It is because Kuro is still alive and as we all know, she is a Masagami and hence the system is still functional. Hence thoughts of Kuro dying may eliminate the system but if she dies, Keita too will. So lots of gloominess as Keita and Kuro ponder and do things together. It’s like their last rites together, huh? Until one day Kuro decides she’ll just go away. She might leave with a smile but we know deep inside it hurts like hell. Proof as we see her crying her heart out somewhere alone. And it took Yakumo a while because he now decides to follow Kuro and protect her.

Episode 23
Akane getting married! Before we find out who, the rest of the episode feels like one long boring summary… Yeah… However they don’t just used recycled animations because they add a few more scenes to go with it. So there’s your watchable value. The first half is basically about Kuro from the moment she stumbled into Keita and to the time she formed a contract with him. Basically a very condensed first few episodes. The second half is from Akane as she narrates her relationship with Keita and the mess all this fate thingy came into play, hence her decision to get involved and put a stop to this. Basically from the moment Keita fell into coma till he wakes up and her pact with Reishin. We also hear Kuraki crediting Keita in destroying the cursed system. However he hints there are also many other systems at work and everyone will continue to be tested till they die! Damn, I wonder how many other gods there are! And finally the person whom Akane is getting married to… Keita! No surprises for this one. Now we see Kuro back in the holy land. She has been sealing herself there ever since. Strangely, she feels a Synchro from Keita, the first time this happens since her sealing. It seems Keita is now a grandpa and thanks Kuro. She shall be freed from the contract. And with that, Keita dies! Kuro thanks him. RIP, Keita. Damn, it will be horrifying when his grandkids discover grandpa just died in his chair!

OVA
Excel and Mikami fans who feel they didn’t get enough screen time can rejoice with this episode. Hopefully. Taking place at a time when Excel just hired Mikami and is brought back to the latter’s house, Excel’s flashback shows that she lived hundreds of years ago in some nice European mountains whatever. But one day her little brother died along with many others massacred, her village razed to the ground. Depressed, that was when Steiner appeared before her and gave her the option of erasing her memories and continue to live as a human or form a contract with him for revenge. He told her about bad Mototsumitama and apologized for his lack of power that failed to protect her. Excel agreed to form a pact with him as it would give him that power to protect. While Excel mocks Mikami’s contract with a Sub, Mikami also mocks back about her contract with Steiner and the oddity of not contracting with somebody else from Noble One if she so desired revenge. So while cooling her head and thinking whether she should form a pact with Mikami, more flashbacks with Steiner. That guy literally trained her and took her for missions. They were a pair. Then he gave her something to commemorate their 100th anniversary together. Is this a wedding ring?! I don’t know, I can’t tell… Too much thoughts of Steiner has her passed out. When she comes to, the place is under sieged by Tribal End. Not sure why they had a bone to pick with Mikami but they beat her up. Only when Excel starts flowing her Tera, it is easy fightback for Mikami. No contest at all. They’re just bullies. But the thanks Mikami gets is a slap from Excel? Apparently she entered the contract officially while she was out. Mikami had no choice. Excel’s aging signs were showing and if she delayed, she could’ve died. Excel still has lingering feelings of Steiner but Mikami says that it’ll all eventually fade. Compared to your prideful oujo-sama-esque, Mikami lost more, right? Yeah, her house is burnt down… No worries. They’ll stay at the hotel. Excel’s footing the bill, right? Uh huh. A small price to pay for revenge. Which we all already know will eventually fail… Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Fate Slay/Fight! Bad Things Come In Threes
It was a weird end to the series but better than nothing. At least they didn’t try to make cheap out of things like finding some sort of loophole of excuse to break the special contract between Keita and Kuro. They’ll only be released when one of them dies and so it stayed true to that. Even it seems dreadful that Keita has died, but you have to take into account that he has lived a very fulfilling and happy life until he dies of old age. So I believe that’s the best happy ending that they could’ve done for this series. Just can’t believe they wasted an episode so as not to make it feel so rushed. Imagine right at the end of the penultimate episode we had this time skip and all, I’m sure all of us will be shocked to suddenly see this ending. Hence I can’t complain too much since this ending is quite satisfactory.

The overall story is simple and not very complicated. Most probably they want to focus on the fighting but more on that later. So it becomes from a plot to uncover the truth behind the Doppeliner system to one to just destroy that cursed system altogether. Pretty straightforward. So it’s like one big long drawn out mission for the obvious. While it might look like typical cliché fairytale ending for the Masagami to be finally defeated shortly after their revival, but remember, Kuro is technically Masagami origin so it takes one to take down your own kind. Ex-Masagami who is now a Mototsumitama contracted to a human, she’s got it all covered! No wonder she is the Black God. Sort of.

Though, it feels like one big farce about the Doppeliner system before the knowing its actual truth. I mean, a life force so great that it had to be split into 3 different lives in which the one with the lesser luck will meet their doom and pass their luck to the main one? Feels like one big BS that makes you wonder if God is actually doing His job. Ironically there aren’t any lives that is so great that it could be split into 4 or 5 or even more lives, hence you could meet about 10 different clones of yourself! Thank goodness no such plot twist. It would’ve been really weird to see a fourth doppelganger just for the sake of the twist. And I also kept wondering why the doppelgangers are also within the vicinity. Make it easier to meet and initiate death? Why can’t one be born in the far flung reaches of the Amazon in Brazil? And the other somewhere on a deserted island in the Indian Ocean? See what I want to say here? But of course we now know the actual truth behind the Doppeliner system so all these ponderings are now deemed invalid.

Since it is hinted that there are other systems at work, I can’t help wonder if there are other gods or supernatural beings toying with humans at the moment. But that will be another story for another main character to explore. Hence this is somewhat a ‘reason’ why the fate of humans aren’t necessarily changed overnight. The same ol’ mundane human lives will continue and the same ol’ humans will die once they reach their expiry date. Assuming there’s a system that makes human die, does this mean destroying it, humans will become immortal? Well, don’t want to distract myself away too much from this series by overthinking.

As you can see, fighting plays a major part of the series. While I won’t say that the action sequences are a masterpiece, but they are quite satisfactory if you’re an action junkie. There are some nice choreographed moves although after a while, it might get a little boring and repetitive because let’s face it, how many variations does Kuro have? After a few punches, she unleashes her Exceed trump card, which is a more powerful variation of her normal punches. That’s why they had to put in all the flashiness to make it look so epic. I have to admit it isn’t disappointing, though. So yeah, in every episode you are guaranteed to see at least some kind of fight whether it is with the small fries or a boss fight. Either way, it’s the staple of the series.

Character wise, nothing really special. Keita your ordinary kid who gets involved in the supernatural and becomes extraordinary. He is the guy who destroyed the Doppeliner system but nobody will remember him for it. I wonder what happened to his doppelganger after he ran off during the chaos. Kuro started off as a bit annoying because she is a bit ditzy and like a retard. Like as though they want to make her a funny character… They initially make a running joke about her bottomless stomach because I guess they need to give her some sort of character before the real truth about her is revealed. I have to admit that I wasn’t really that impressed with Keita and Kuro’s relationship and sometimes it feels forced because of plot convenience. Like when Keita died but then something compels them to share and recycle their life force so that they could continue living. In a way, a dramatic effect to tell us they have been reborn and power up. I don’t know if Kuro sealing herself away from the world is the answer to break the Masagami’s curse. If that actually worked, should have done that right from the start. But yeah, that was before she knew she was a reincarnation of the Masagami, right?

Akane remains largely redundant until the final arc when the whole big truth about her is revealed. She wasn’t featured much in the first half and probably her lack of any role is just a distraction so that they could pull off this twist later on as the series reaches its climax. At least she gets to enjoy a rare feat that many childhood friends never get to enjoy: Marry her crush. Oh right. She is the Master Root and is truly blessed, so that’s a given. Reishin playing your typical villain role who isn’t actually the villain. Big brotherly love compels him to work like that because who would believe him, right? If you want to get the job done, better do it yourself.

A few redundant characters include Yakumo and Riona. I feel like this pair is just to give us a slight variation in addition to Keita and Kuro. They aren’t as significant as they want us to think when they show their scenes to us and though they have some bond with each other, it’s pretty much forgettable. Just like some of the other Mototsumitama and Master Roots. They just pop up for a while just to provide some fight and once that is over, you’ll never hear of them again. Same case for Excel and Steiner and the rest of Noble One. Why do they even exist? Sure, Excel gave Keita the convenient Thousand but that’s pretty much about it. Should’ve just killed Excel off with Steiner because her revenge against Reishin was just pretty much redundant. Too bad they leave it late to showcase how close Excel and Steiner are abut it means nothing when the series is over. Besides, wasn’t Excel always on her weird handheld device playing some weird game? Not so attached to that once Steiner is gone, huh? Nam. What recorder of history again? Punipuni. Like we need a cute animal mascot for this series. I don’t even know how Kuro picked it up and they become like mini companions. I thought Kuraki would become the antagonist for the second half considering the way things are going for him. But his role quickly ended after his sham marriage and that’s that for him. His whole life trying to understand the Doppeliner system and once we know what it really is, there isn’t much of a role for him to play after that.

Masagami as the source of all the madness, they seem to be pretty powerful for beings that are sealed. Noticed how they managed to place the curse on both humans and Mototsumitama before getting sealed? I mean, wow, it is just mind blowing that they can cause this much havoc and cause so much misery during their absence. How can their curse be in effect when they are sealed? Just mind blowing. It’s ironic they didn’t do the same when they get defeated this time. Maybe they did. They just didn’t tell us!

Art and animation are pretty okay. Reeks last decade anime animation style. Nothing that I can complain. Even if there was, I somehow just find Akane to look pretty weird. Maybe it is just me. Because like some of the female characters like Excel and Nam, they have this one kind look. Like dolls… Maybe it’s some sort of trademark but the male characters look pretty generic. Without the garb, I don’t think I can tell the difference between Keita and Yakumo. This anime is done by Sunrise who did many of our favourite hits like Code Geass, Gintama, Cowboy Bebop, Inu Yasha, Accel World, Love Live and Mobile Suit Gundam.

Voice acting is also okay. Seeing this anime came out in the last decade, you bet there are a handful of veteran seiyuus that I can recognize such as Sayaka Ohara as Akane, Yukari Tamura as Excel, Jouji Nakata as Steiner, Satoshi Hino as Kuraki, Shizuka Itou as Riona, Eri Kitamura as Kakuma and Yuko Kaida as Mikami. Other casts include Daisuke Namikawa as Keita (Waver in Fate series), Noriko Shitaya as Kuro (Sakura in Fate series), Katsuyuki Konishi as Reishin (Laxus in Fairy Tail), Hirofumi Nojima as Yakumo (Kitamura in Toradora), Satsuki Yukino as Yuki (Otae in Gintama), Kenji Hamada as Hiyou (Jouji in Paradise Kiss), Eiji Miyashita as Raiga (Takahiro in Princess Princess) and Eri Sendai as Makana (Touka in Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitai). Oh, even Punipuni has a dedicated seiyuu? Yumi Touma (Yui in Fushigi Yuugi). Easiest voice acting role ever for this series?

Minami Kuribayashi sings Sympathizer, the first opening. The fast paced of this rock music fits the theme of this series like a glove. Although I am not into this song very much, I wished they didn’t change it to Trance by Granrodeo for the second half. Too much of heavy metal punk rock outfit that I feel the more it plays out, the more adrenaline gets pumped in and eventually the whole thing will explode! Just exaggerating but I didn’t like this one even more than the first. Yousei Teikoku sings both the ending themes and they are both slow ballads (generally they both sound the same to me in all of honesty). Though, I still prefer the first ending theme, Irodori No Nai Sekai compared to the second one, Gekkou No Chigiri.

Overall, this isn’t actually a bad series. It doesn’t have the best story in the world and the characters are generally bland so you’ll just have to put up with the action scenes that are probably its main selling point. Other than that, there’s nothing much else I can say. And watching the entire series and writing this final paragraph at this point, I just realized there was really nothing Korean in this anime unlike it was so obvious in The God Of High School. Everything so Japanese! And I also fail to understand why Koreans are obsessed with putting God in their titles. Like I said, maybe just coincidence. But who knows? Maybe I have a Japanese or Korean doppelganger who would well understand it all. What luck I have.

Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken OVA 3-5

Oh well. In anticipation of the second season, at first I thought of watching the rest of Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken OVAs together with the sequel. However when I read that it was going to be split cour and that means taking longer to finish watching (hey, is it wrong for me to binge watch certain series?) and I don’t want to pile up my busy anime schedule considering how the anime is back at full force, leaving the Corona virus in the dust like as though it never happened, I suppose it is good to take some off that ‘heavy load’. Oh yeah. It’s going to be a busy year ahead…

OVA 3
Taking place after his students receive their superior spirits, they return to Freedom Academy and his students don’t hesitate to use him as a volleyball! Meanwhile in the town of Guratol, the count laments failing to bring a healing potion for his ailing wife, Ulamuth. However it is so because bandits robbed their caravan. But now he has to oversee the upcoming training excursion from Freedom Academy and has his servant, Gesdar to inspect the caves. Rimuru wants to take things easy and sit out from this training excursion since his S Class students aren’t required. But when his professor colleague, Jeff mocks about his students having no proper equipment, Rimuru’s teacher pride won’t take it so you bet he is going to join in. Tiss explains this training excursion that will be divided into 2 parts. Firstly, the students must travel from the academy to Guratol without the teacher’s help. They will be graded by their survival skills. The last part has them entering the caves on a fetch quest. The winning class will earn the teacher 10 gold coins as bonus. Rimuru returns to tell his students about this and they’re raring to go. He listens to what kind of weapon they want. Then he leaves them to read a thick manual on how to survive in the wild. So he is ditching his duty as a teacher? Well, he as to return to his village to get his followers (all hailing the great mighty Rimuru-sama back) to make them as well as prepare a carriage. Piece of cake. His students are amazed with the weapons they get and are further impressed with the carriage. Damn, looks like a modern camping caravan fit for camping! But then… When Rimuru realizes that Ranga has to pull it and that the rules state teachers cannot help, dang he realizes he didn’t thought of that!!! Oh no! But don’t worry. Gale summons an earth spirit to help pull the carriage. Phew. That should do. Meanwhile in the caves, the bandits are waiting for the students because it is their plan to kidnap them for ransom. They are confident with this super potion that grows anything back and enslavement collar, it’ll be a piece of cake. All this is possible only because Gesdar is their accomplice!

OVA 4
To avoid favouritism, the teacher will be watching and judging other class. Like Rimuru will travel with Jeff’s students while Tiss will journey with Rimuru’s students. Before the mission starts, Jeff looks downtrodden as he tells Rimuru to tell his students to be careful about the bedridden Ulamuth. We see Rimuru watch Jeff’s students take on monsters as he points out their strengths and weaknesses from his observations. It is no surprise that the S Class kids arrive first and a day earlier. The count didn’t count (pun not intended) on this and needs time to prepare their rooms. He suggests they go take a look at the caves first and seek Gesdar to guide them. On their way, Tiss tells them that Ulamuth is actually Jeff’s younger sister and that’s why he works as a teacher despite being a noble. With the kids worried about the monsters in the caves, Tiss accidentally spills the beans there are actually none and those low level ones are summoned by the teachers just to test them. Oops. Nobody has any brainwashing spell here. As they enter the caves looking for Gesdar, they stumble into the bandits. Of course the kids are wise enough to know something is fishy and prepare to fight. The bandits also don’t take them lightly and go all out to take them down. But of course the S Class kids are way better as they take down the bandits. Tiss must be in shock to see them so good. Hope they get extra points for this. Even when the bandit boss plays dirty by using the potion to regenerate his cut off arm, Kenya expected this and knocks him out soon after. When Gesdar enters the scene, the kids realize he is not a real person. In fact it is a spectre masquerading as a human. Amused by their intuition, he then transforms into his true form to fight them.

OVA 5
The spectre brags about himself despite being some low level phantom commander thingy. Whatever. The cowardly bandits escape while the brave kids are left to deal with this. Of course they put up a gallant fight but soon the spectre quickly knocks them all out. Tiss is the only one left. She is given a choice. She will choose one of the students to be given this enslavement collar in exchange for her life. The rest will die. Of course this is just a ploy to see her hypocrisy as the spectre will kill them all. Surprise but no surprise, Tiss refuses. She abandoned those kids once and since they put their life on the line to protect her, she vows to protect them. The spectre decides to kill her when time stops. Diablo heard her wish to save those kids so just in the nick of time, he can do all that in exchange for a price if she enters a contract with him. Okay. With that, Diablo easily beats up this spectre, pulls out Gesdar from within and then tortures the motherf*cker before killing him off. Brutal. Now he wants his payment from Tiss: Keep his existence a secret or he will consume her soul. That’s just it. His interest is only repaying his debt to Shizu and this contract thingy is his perfect chance. As to explain this situation, just claim that a light spirit belonging to Kenya helped them. After Diablo disappears, the kids are returned to the manor with no incident. Now everything is focus on Ulamuth’s health since it is noted the potion was used. I guess it’s cue for Rimuru’s greatness. Hearing about it, I’m sure Rimuru would have the right potion to cure it but as the count notes, it sometimes doesn’t work and might cause death. With not enough info, Rimuru consults Sage about it. After some thinking, he gives the count the potions but on one condition: He will conduct the surgery. Jeff so anxious that the kids have to calm him down and tell him to believe in Rimuru. Yeah… In the aftermath, we see Ulamuth recovering. Oh yeah. Expected miracle. But as Sage concludes her analysis, some honey would’ve been enough to cure her illness. Now you know the importance of medical science? With Jeff bowing his head and thanking him earnestly, this throws Rimuru off guard. Due to this incident, the training results are nullified and Rimuru might be feeling a bit sore because no bonus coins. But no time to waste as the planning for the cultural festival is on the cards. And once again, Rimuru and Jeff return to their b*tch rivalry mode. Tiss’ advice to the kids: Don’t grow up to be adults like them. Yeah. Bad role models…

GTR: Great Teacher Rimuru; Boku No Slime Academia…
So I guess the remaining OVAs were rather okay, like a short mini filler series. Nothing really great because we’ve already seen how great this slime guy in the first season so with only a few episodes here, there wasn’t enough time or story to see him pull off any greater miracles. Even if I should say that surgery on Ulamuth feels a bit unwanted. I mean, they need to showcase Rimuru doing something and live up to his (and our) expectations as an overpowered main character who can do almost anything.

But these 3 OVAs here focus more on the S Class students of Freedom Academy. It is a reason why I feel that Rimuru didn’t have so much of an impact especially the middle episode that emphasis greatly on those kids. And I think we got trolled when the title for these 3 OVAs went along the lines of ‘Rimuru’s Glamorous Life As A Teacher’. Well, if your students get to strut their stuffs, it means the teacher has done his job. It proves that Rimuru’s teachings were honoured, the way they manage to fend and protect themselves. I mean, it could have been very clichéd when the students were taken out by the spectre, they could have ushered in Rimuru who would then do his overpowered miracle to apprehend the antagonist. But I suppose this is to build another story and it’s a good thing it didn’t happen that way or else it would’ve rendered the kids’ efforts futile if Rimuru ever needs to come to their rescue. Though, technically it was still somebody else who saved them. Hey, give them a break. They’re just kids and they’ve done well to prove themselves. My only grouse is that the bandits were never captured. Not even mentioned in the aftermath. So I guess they’ll be back next time? Unless of course they learnt their lesson…

I have a couple conspiracy theories of why they put the S Class kids in focus. Either they will never be featured this prominently again in the second season or they would and these OVAs serve as precursor to join Rimuru’s diverse group, hence this is some sort of warm-up and introduction to more of their greatness in the sequel. But my bet is on the former because at the end of this mini arc, Rimuru says that he will soon be leaving Freedom Academy and returning to his usual life with his monster troopers who are of course greatly side-lined here. Who among us have missed cutie pie Shuna or those humongous boobs of secretary Shion or the cheeky semi-naked I-think-I-forgot-to-wear-my-pants-today Milim? Oh yeah. Do we? So I guess that means the S Class kids won’t get any decent screen time in the proper second season’s storyline. I think. Probably that’s why Tiss grows closer to them so with Rimuru’s absence, we can be assured that this weak kind teacher will take care of them. On a very trivial note, why does the count of Guratol remind me of Castlevania’s Dracula???!!! Unless you tell me all noble guys have this sort of look.

Overall, these OVAs feel a bit toned down and doesn’t spam in our faces the great powers of Rimuru. Which is good seeing that we don’t want to have already inflated expectations of what this slime master can actually do. Though, they still remind us so as to have us remember that at the back of our minds. This whole thing is just like side road trip with a little misadventure but nothing so disastrous that could affect everything else. Just a fun little trip and back. Hopefully the next season would get better with darker and interesting themes. I know I previously said I liked this series but I think that was before they started spamming the dreaded overpowered main character isekai theme in so many animes after that. Yeah, it’s starting to get tiring when I even think about it. Even in the event this series falls into that same pitfall of clichés, oh well, a slime’s got to do what a slime’s got to do. Rimuru being Rimuru himself is all that matters. It’s his reincarnated life anyway.

Toji No Miko: Kizamishi Issen No Tomoshibi

Oh. This had a sequel? Wait. I actually knew about it. I just forgot about it. It fooled me at first to think that Toji No Miko: Kizamishi Issen No Tomoshibi could be some spinoff side story that don’t really matter (read: mindless filler) because there are only 2 episodes here. How can merely 2 episodes be the sequel for the TV series? Are they taking us for a ride? Well, I better believe it. Since it takes place after the end of the events that happened in the TV series, technically by all means, it is still a sequel, right? Anyway, I wasn’t a big fan of the series so I don’t really remember much. It’s only 2 episodes, right? How much can I lose?!

OVA 1
We see Mihono and her group of Toji in Aradama slicing action. It has been 5 months since the Tagitsu disaster but the Aradama attacks have not slowed down. Back at the base, Miruya introduces a new temporary member to their squad: Hirona Nitta from Osafune. Not much of a talker and sounds sleepy. They notice her western-like rapier Okatana and as explained, it is actually forged in Japan using tamagahane so it is quite suitable to hunt Aradama. Meanwhile Kanami and Hiyori are out patrolling when they stumble into a humanoid Aradama. She looks pretty confused and scared but after a short spar, she escapes. Out of the frying pan and into the fire because now she stumbles into Mihono’s group. When they surround her, she starts crying! Damn, does this look like bullying? Mihono calms her down and she takes a liking for her. When the rest arrive, they are divided to either kill her or take her in. Despite she is not hostile, Miruya will report this to HQ and await their further instruction. While she is locked up in the containment room, the higher ups like Akane, Sana and Yukari contemplate on this special case. Based on what the Toji tell them, they hope this can lead to cohabitation between humans and Aradama and will continue to observe her. This is good news to Mihono and co since it isn’t a subjugation order. With that, they name her Kohime and they become like good friends and sisters, teaching her stuffs. Her room is like a mini kindergarten now, eh? Until one day Kohime asks what Toji do. Mihono tells her the truth but assures they only cut up bad Aradama who hurt others. While Mihono and co are away subjugating Aradama threat nearby, Hirona is babysitting Kohime and shows her the Toji in action. It seems Kohime is starting to react to the slaughtering of her brethren. Hirona gets ready her Okatana but thankfully nothing happens as Kohime returns to normal state. Although pretty depressed right now. When Kanami thinks Kofuki just wants to be friends with Aradama (since she always wants to ‘play’ with them), this has her remember her past. When she was young, she stumbled into a small Aradama in the backyard. She played with it a lot despite getting hurt. Aradama likes it rough? One day it grew up real big and innocent Kofuki still wanted to play with it. She almost got killed but other Toji arrived to subjugate it. Meanwhile Kohime continues to be dejected. Where’s the cute little smile gone to?

OVA 2
When Mihono just comes in to see Kohime, looks like the alert for another mission. Gotta go. Kohime feeling sad. Yeah, she learnt to read the Toji news. Even sadder… Subsequently, the doors suddenly all open. Hmm… No guards. What’s a curious little Aradama got to do but sneak out? So when the Toji are cutting down Aradama, Kohime intervenes and tries to protect one. This has some like Kofuki think that Kohime has turned to the dark side. Mihono pleads to Kofuki to listen but she is adamant to slice her down. A little clumsy fight ensues and Kohime eventually escapes. A search party is initiated but only Kofuki and Yui are part of it. Mihono is on standby but along with Kiyoka, they go search for Kohime on their own. Disobeying orders? Well, as Miruya puts it, they might have been excluded from the search party but there were no orders for them not to search. Sneaky… The duo look high and low but to no avail. Even with Chie posting some food for thought like Kohime really turning against them, they still want to go search for her. Soon, Mihono gets a call from Hirona that she has the location of Kohime. Yes, please send it to me, thank you! Just in time because Kohime is about to get attacked by the Aradama she saved! Too bad for that beast, got cut down, though. Now it’s time to hear the sad loli reason why she can’t stay with you because she realizes the cruel cycle of Toji and Aradama viewing each other as threat and hence they can’t coexist.

Mihono still believes in their friendship but looks like a test is coming up because Kofuki and Yui are here. They want to kill Kohime. Mihono steps in to protect Kohime. If she wants to kill Kohime, she must get through her first. At the same time, Yui fights with Kohime. However Kohime thinks she is making a fool out of her because she has so many instances to cut her down but did not. That’s because she doesn’t want to kill friends. Get what she is saying? Thankfully Kohime does. Now all that is left is to wait for Mihono and Kofuki to finish their friendly fight. In the end, Kofuki admits defeat. In the aftermath, Miruya reprimands all of them for disobeying orders. But they are still happy that Kohime only gets a light punishment. The next day, Kohime is been transferred to be further observed in a facility run by Yukari. Kanami and Hiyori will bring her there so Kohime says goodbye to Mihono and co. Only Hirona isn’t here since she has transferred to another squad. The gang give her a Smartphone so they can stay connected always. BFF. Mihono gives Kohime one big hug as the latter is glad to have met her since there is so much she wants to know about humans. Uhm… I hope she won’t go too far in learning the dark side of humans… But that’s another story. Meanwhile we see Hirona returning to her comrade. She claims she failed her mission but she dreads it when given another mission and since it is most likely about observing Kohime, she gleefully accepts.

Ara, Ara? Damasareta?
I don’t know if this is meant to have another sequel by the way it ends but as far as I am writing this, I haven’t heard of any. Anyway, from my point of view, this couple of OVA episodes don’t really bring much to the table especially to those casual viewers. Perhaps hardcore fans of the series may appreciate them but for the rest of us, just pretty meh and average. Firstly, this so called sequel focuses on the new bunch of characters that were introduced during that Mini Toji spinoff, focusing a bit more on Mihono and Kofuki. Since it is only a couple of episodes, there is nothing much to flesh out so it is both good and bad in that sense. I mean, it’s not fair to call this series a waste of time because there are only 2 episodes to begin with but because of those 2 episodes only, there is nothing much to go about. Get what I mean? Like the vicious cycle of Toji killing Aradama and in return Aradama hunt down Toji and the loop repeats. Heh. So yeah, nothing really much. Like as though it is a precursor to set the stage should there be another sequel in the future.

The only thing left to play up after that Tagitsu disaster is of course another humanoid Aradama. They look like the only ‘excuse’ and reason for many of the Toji counterparts to seek a path where there is coexistence. Yeah, this might lead to a civil war thingy but that’s another story and I don’t want to go too far ahead of myself. Just to tell us that not all Aradama are bad because those cute bishoujo and loli types are definitely having a higher chance of cohabitating with humans. Too bad, can’t say the rest of those beast types who can’t communicate and act on their primal instincts only. So with a cutie pie like Kohime (throw in some cute clumsy little trait as well), it makes it harder for us to really want to see her cut down. YOU WANT TO SEE A DEAD LOLI CUT IN HALF?! Ah yes, Aradama like Kohime are the thin line and flimsy reason why puny humans and the Toji should examine and study if such coexistence is remotely possible. Because as we can see, some aren’t too fond of the idea and this might lead to a civil war… Oh damn, I’m repeating myself, am I?

Personally, I feel a bit disappointed about Hirona as the new character. Sure, as I have said, a couple of episodes aren’t enough to flesh everything out. From what they have shown us, Hirona may just be playing dumb and it is hard to tell if she is a friend or foe. My guess is that she is the one who let Kohime free from her room because obviously why would she then tell Mihono and Kofuki separately about Kohime’s whereabouts if her intentions were not to see them clash and how they go on from there? In the end, her character feels redundant as the story of Mihono’s little friendship with Kohime could still play out if Hirona wasn’t in the picture at all.

Because of Hirona, I am remembered about my favourite character of the series: Kaoru! Oh damn, where is this favourite slacker of mine???!!! Because Hirona’s slacking ways somewhat reminds me of Kaoru although not as discernible. Is it a tradition for Osafune Toji to produce such slackers? Yeah, I missed those funny days where Sana would literally be a slave driver on Kaoru! Perhaps Kaoru really got and enjoyed her very much deserved break during the events of this OVA. Oh well Kaoru, you’ll be sorely missed! Heh. I guess this means that many other characters from the TV series such as Ellen, Sayaka and Mai did not make their appearance at all. Fans of them would be sorely disappointed but I can understand because like I said, with only 2 episodes, there is only so much you can put in and you don’t want to compound to the problem of redundancy by making these characters make their cameo just to satisfy squealing fans. Only Kanami and Hiyori get their cameo since they are the super main characters of the series. So got to show their face around even if they don’t really play any important role. So yeah, the sequel is just focused on the new bunch of characters. Make peace and let’s move forward.

Overall, this sequel just feels pretty average. There isn’t anything much to say. The story feels pretty typical because how far else could they go with the plot for this series? I mean, can Kohime grow into the next Tagitsu! Gasp! I hope I didn’t give the writers some weird ideas. Fighting scenes are also pretty average since there are just a few Aradama killing scenes as they want to focus on the drama friendship with the newly discovered Aradama loli. And that’s why the fight between Mihono and Kofuki feels forced because eventually they have to let their Okatana do the talking. So until they decide to do another real full season, I guess I’ll be slacking and lazing off like Kaoru sensei. Wherever she is right now.

Gundou Musashi

After my stint in one of the worst animes that I have seen in my life, Hametsu No Mars, I never would have thought it would lead me to another worse animes that would easily top the list of the worst animes ever produced in history. Yes, I’m talking about Gundou Musashi. You think anime can’t get worse? Wait till you watch this one. Yeah, so bad that it is good! And that curiosity is one reason why I decided to take a peek at this despite the lack of subs on this 2006 production. I mean, how bad can it get, right? RIGHT?! Oh believe me. You haven’t seen the bottom of the barrel yet. Get ready to be horrified, cringe and most importantly, laugh! Yes, seriously. LAUGH OUT LOUD! It’s the only way you can sit through 26 episodes of crappy crap of crappiness without your brain cells performing seppuku a million times and getting out with your sanity intact. Da na?

Episode 1
A guy challenges Musashi Miyamoto to a duel to avenge his brother. Here comes Musashi. Only, his sword is electrified! Get touched and you’re zapped! Furthermore, he has a pair of guns! Holy sh*t! But it shoots special bullets. Sleeping bullets! Yeah, don’t worry if he has to kill. Eventually Musashi wins and even asks his opponent if he wants to get shot in the head or stomach. You mean he actually chose the stomach?! In town, he is being begged by Danjou to come protect Princess Kaguya because something might attack the castle tonight. Despite his pleas, Musashi declines because his occupation is to take over castles, not protect them. Danjou reports this unfortunate news to Kaguya. She still wants him to get Musashi on their side because his powers are much needed. Ever since their won the battle at Sekigahara, the ghostly ayakashi has been invading their land. Could it be summoned by the losing side? Later Musashi sees fellow friend, Ronin. Looks like he plans to storm Osaka castle, the shogunate’s base tonight. That is because he wants to beat the ayakashi to it. That night, ayakashi pop up to kidnap Kaguya. Damn, discount Black Panthers?! Kaguya manages to dispose of them until Yasha pops up. Danjou comes to her rescue but can a sword cut through a ghost? Yasha kidnaps her and when he returns to his carriage, his guards are disposed of by Musashi and Ronin. They fight and I suppose their weapons are magically imbued, that’s why they can touch Yasha? Yasha is still much superior, though. But when he mocks them they are not up to par as Kojiro Sasaki, this makes Musashi mad because he hates that name. Musashi and Ronin power up to slice up Yasha who then escapes. The guys leave Kaguya behind because they know Danjou will come looking for her. There he is. When Kaguya comes to, she doesn’t remember much but has a feeling Musashi saved her. In town, Musashi is attacked by Desperado. She claims she is a sharp shooter but misses all her shots?! Damn, Musashi escapes! Ronin asks Musashi’s next plan and that is to invade the ayakashi’s castle. But first, he needs more training.

Episode 2
Musashi is at a temple in Kyoto to seek Master Takuan. As he is the first dude to master the Gundou technique, he wants to be his disciple. But the monks won’t let him see him and claim he is away. Musashi knows they are lying and challenges them to a fight. If he wins, they are to let him see Takuan. Meanwhile Yasha reports back to Ryougen of his failure to get Kaguya. So this fat ugly pig wants to marry Kaguya? He is not happy he lost to a guy who is weaker than Kojiro but Yasha claims in the future, Musashi will defeat him. Ryougen is also not impressed that according to Yasha’s predictions, he should’ve been the unifier and ruler of Japan. But look at this mess now. Yasha claims they are going to re-correct history again. Ryougen really wants him to do it because otherwise he sold his soul to become an ayakashi for nothing. We see Musashi easily defeating the monks’ instructor in this weird fight. He admits defeat but can’t let him see Takuan because he is truly not here. Suddenly dark clouds hover over the place. Uh oh. Ayakashi attack. Damn, this Jijouda ayakashi, he sounds like Dino-Riders’ Krulos!!! Or Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget! Ronin comes to help and so this ninja kid, Ninjatarou. Too bad he is more clumsy than helpful. This big fight between humans and ayakashi… Are they fighting or dancing???!!! Musashi fights Jijido and when they are seemingly going to crash into the temple’s ground sweeper, Musashi goes to protect him. However he borrows Musashi’s gun and fire a few pot shots at Jijido before killing him off with shots into his eyes! WTF?! Musashi realizes this dude is actually Takuan and begs him to be his master.

Episode 3
Desperado is looking for Musashi but stumbles into Yasha who claims he knows where Musashi is and will lead her to him. However she doesn’t trust the ayakashi and is going to test her special English ghost busting bullets on him. Yasha just zaps her and tells her to STFU and let him take her to Musashi! WTF?! Meanwhile Musashi is sulking because Takuan claims he isn’t Takuan but Shibazuke. Something about Kojiro also trained here but because both men fought and Takuan lost, the loser must leave the Gundou technique forever. Hence, Takuan has ‘never returned to the temple’ since. Reports of Desperado is here and it seems Takuan will go handle her. It is hinted he hates women because if not for a certain woman, he would’ve won against Kojiro. Desperado beats up the monks to call out for Musashi. She wants revenge for him killing her father. Despite Musashi claiming it wasn’t him, she never believed him and continued to chase him. With Takuan’s words not getting through, they fight but first, Takuan unleashing his secret Gundou dance?! Damn, this guy decided to forget his promise with Kojiro? Whatever. So it’s just him dodging Desperado’s bullets and knocking her out with the back of the gun?! HILARIOUS! But wait. An ayakashi pops out of Desperado. Seems it was controlling her. Then it reveals herself to be some spider ayakashi, Gandadan. But no specially made ayakashi weapons could harm her because of some legend that this spider woman was once from heaven before falling into the depths of hell. Gandadan then controls Desperado and makes her fire at Musashi. Uhm, shouldn’t Desperado be happy for this? Oh right. She wants to kill him by her own hands so I guess being controlled doesn’t count.

Episode 4
Musashi is reduced to running. So what now? Ronin suggests shooting her with his sleeping bullets. Great idea. But she isn’t stupid to get shot and dodges! Eventually when she gets hit and sleeps, it is even worse because now Gandadan can control Desperado easier! Thanks for this stupid idea. Didn’t think that one out, huh? I wonder if Desperado’s gun has unlimited bullets… What now? Takuan wishes if only a certain person is here. Oh, here he is! Leonardo Da Vinci and his pet monkey, Sasuke Sarutobi! He is willing to sell Musashi a special bullet for a price. That’s how he does business. Musashi agrees to pay a high price so Da Vinci gives him some fiery bullet. Musashi didn’t wait to listen to his explanation and fires it. Though Gandadan’s web gets burnt, the intense hit means his gun melts! What now?! Da Vinci tried to warn him and it seems only a special gun can only endure that bullet. And that gun called Gunki is with Takuan. WTF. Da Vinci had always urged Takuan to give it to him but was always refused. Because he has sealed it. So basically, Gunki is the most powerful gun in the world. It can go through metals and sent ayakashi back to hell. However those who possess it often lose themselves. They become monsters before killing themselves. Takuan could have wielded it if he was younger but now he can’t. Musashi wants it and believes he won’t become a demon. Answer is still no. My, kind Gandadan has allowed them to talk enough and reveal this Gunki thingy, yeah, she’s going to kill all of them now. Controlling the other monks to kill them, more pleading from Musashi until Takuan gives in. That was easy. So where is Gunki? It’s right here. Inside his fake arm! Damn. Musashi takes it and… Well, I don’t see anything happening to him in particular except he is shouting like an idiot. WTF???!!!

Episode 5
Musashi turns into a demon! Oh, that’s just illusionary. While in reality he is still screaming like an idiot, inside he is facing a demon with a gun. Yeah, demon shoots him many times and though the good thing is that he can’t die, he can feel the pain! Well, duh!!! As Gandadan has waited long enough, she wants to only now wrap Musashi in her web? Oh well, time for Da Vinci to get moving his next plan. He gives a new set of gun and bullets to Sasuke to take it to Musashi. Letting a monkey do a man’s job? Just in time before the web entirely covers him. Musashi continues to bear the torment of the bullets. And he won’t give in to become a demon! We’ll see about that. Finally the wildest scream ever. I guess it’s time to see whether he becomes a man or a demon. Yeah, so the web is all for a dramatic reveal as it burns down from inside, huh? Yeah, everyone friend and foe watching with baited breath on what will become of Musashi. And here he is! Hmm… Musashi points the gun at Ronin. Just trolling you! He fires it to break the monks free from the controlling web. Yasha is disappointed he didn’t turn into a demon and flees. Gandadan is mad and wants to fight him. I guess this means it’s her cue to die. Musashi vs Gandadan. Fight weird as f*ck but why are they fighting melee combat instead of him just firing the gun?! Is it to show he is superior?! He is the best Gunki in the world now?! Oh yeah. Time to finish her off as he fires one right into her. Screams of pain! Uhm, is she burning in fire or PISS???!!! WTF???!!! In the end, Takuan entrusts Gunki to Musashi but cautions him not to let it control him or he’ll turn into a demon.

From now on, it is unfamiliar territory as the rest of the episodes are not subbed. So I’m just winging it here with my very basic Japanese understanding. Here we go…

Episode 6
Hideaki Kobayakawa seems to be furious that he is locked in the dungeons against something he didn’t do. He is screaming about his credentials and for his release but you know, the guards don’t give a damn. This hot chick in the next cell, Yume tells him that Musashi and friends will come save him. How does she know? She saw it in her dream. It all started 6 months ago. Some flashback as we see Musashi, Ronin and Ninjatarou invade some castle to steal some treasure and even defeated some famed ninja, Goemon Ishikawa. Then the next dreams Yume narrates are just basically recaps of the first 5 episodes! Damn recycled scenes. From Musashi saving Kaguya to his persistent bugging for Takuan to fighting off Desperado who eventually got controlled by Gandadan and yeah, that Gunki ‘training’ mode of fighting the inner demon. So whatever questions Hideaki has, she has this convenient answer that she can’t say for now and only time will tell! Then somebody is here to get them. Too bad it’s not Musashi! It’s Yukimura Sanada (Yukimura is a woman?!). This has Hideaki perplexed because if Yukimura is here, whose castle is he being imprisoned right now? The castle of Mitsunari Ishida (the shogun he is supposed to be working under). But Yukimura is with orders to take Yume to Osaka castle. Yeah, Yume praying for Musashi to come save her quick.

Episode 7
Ryougen is sucking the life essence of young women to maintain his form. And to think he is still a fat ugly pig… Don’t worry, the women won’t die. They just get old and wrinkly. Yasha returns to report of Musashi’s powers he has witnessed. Then something they need to get before the next moon or something. And yeah of course, Kaguya must become Ryougen’s bride. It seems Musashi learns there is another Gunki. One that returns you to being human. However it is not hidden inside Takuan and he doesn’t know where it is. But Da Vinci does. Of course, flashback to tell how. Mitsuhide Akechi went berserk when he used the Gunki and betrayed and killed his fellow men. Da Vinci was also there and warned him about being influenced by the demon within. Mitsuhide doesn’t care and let it be so. He also mentions about the other Gunki that reverts you to a human and hints that it is on the moon! After that, he plans to go kill Nobunaga because he feels so invincible but from the looks of it, the flaming rubbles got him. In the aftermath, Da Vinci searched the area. He didn’t find his body but only his Gunki. So Musashi is planning to go to the moon. Really? How? Rockets weren’t invented in this time! Using that Kaguya from the folklore and not this Kaguya the princess?! On their way to Osaka, Ninjatarou pops up. He gets teased for running away because we didn’t see him during the fight with the ayakashi, right? Since he begs of wanting to be his lackey, Musashi gives him a test. Somebody is following him and if he can stop that person, he’ll consider his request. Ninjatarou accepts this and intercepts the pursuer who is no other than Desperado. But she is so fascinated seeing a real ninja and forces him to do a ninja trick. Or she’ll shoot! Luckily Ninjatarou dupes her by showing some body exchange ninpo and escapes. Meanwhile Kaguya is bored of being confined within her castle and rides out, much to Danjou’s chagrin. She is not afraid of ayakashi targeting her because of the new moon, she is confident their powers are weakened. Yeah… We’ll see…

Episode 8
Musashi plans to take a detour to Sendai and raid Date Masamune’s castle since there is some info he wants to get from that guy. Next we see Mitsunari trying to get some royal kid, Hideyori to do some official stuffs but he is more preoccupied painting than doing all those political work. Also, something about his Kaguya sister is missing and is worried. Speaking of Kaguya, an ayakashi crow attacks. Danjou can’t do sh*t so Kaguya just do some kung fu fighting to defeat it! WTF?! Oh yeah? What are you going to do with more crows now?! Too much to handle that she gets kidnapped by one. Musashi and Ronin are confronted by Hidetada, the son of Ieyasu Tokugawa. He claims Edo is no longer a realm of humans but has turned into a demon realm. He is pleading them to help him defeat his father. He is no longer who he is. Yeah, that’s because he turned into that fat ugly pig, Ryougen, right? Flashback 2 years ago after the loss at Sekigahara, while wallowing in depression, he was approached by Yasha who made some deal with him to rewrite the current world and return it to what it is supposed to be. From then on, Yasha is now acting as his right hand man. Conversation interrupted when a runaway carriage is heading their way. Musashi thinks some hot chick is inside it and wants to help. Yeah, he is going to test out Gunki. All just to shoot off its wheel?! What a waste! Time to see which hot babe is inside… Kaguya???!!! WTF, Hidetada wants to kill her?!

Episode 9
Hidetada blames Kaguya as the one who turned his father into a demon. More flashbacks as Yasha was telling some story to Ieyasu and Hidetada but they don’t believe his story. Hence Yasha shows proof but conjuring an illusion of what Edo was supposed to be had Ieyasu won. Now you believe? The Tokugawa shogunate would have continued its reign for another 300 years instead of the current Toyotomi shogunate. So why did it turn out as it is now? That is because Taiko Hideyoshi adopted Kaguya. Thanks to Kaguya’s existence, it brought Toyotomi a lot of luck and it also altered Japan’s history that should not have happened otherwise such as Japan losing certain wars. But can a mere human like Kaguya have a great effect? Well, this is no human Kaguya. She is actually the moon priestess from the folklore! Of course Hidetada doesn’t believe it all but his father did. Depressed and believing this would help his family and future, he accepted Yasha’s proposal. So he drank some potion that turned him into a demon. After all, to correct history, a human can’t do it but the greater power of the ayakashi could! Hence he had to cast away his human soul. Yeah, the first thing he did after becoming Ryougen is to suck the young essence out of his female servants! And now Hidetada is going to kill her. I don’t know. Will that change history? Or is this just personal vendetta? Kaguya just keeps dodging. Man, either Kaguya is good or Hidetada’s sword play sucks. Musashi just watching and won’t help. Yeah, it’s so funny no wonder he prefers to watch! HAHAHA! Nearby, I guess the security was so lax that Yume manages to break free from her palanquin and slide down the slope. Musashi heard her scream and would rather go save this cute chick. Yukimura arrives and wants Yume returned. Musashi won’t. Before they could fight, somehow Kaguya managed to ditch Hidetada and make them stop fighting. She is surprised to see Yume. What’s going on? Don’t know. Everybody looking so surprised too.

Episode 10
Hidetada pops up and still wants to fight Kaguya. But Yukimura tells him to back down because drawing his sword against Kaguya means going against Toyotomi. Don’t want that to disrespect the shogunate, right? And with that, Hidetada backs down. Yukimura wants Yume handed over since she is under orders from Mitsunari to deliver her to a safe place. That is, Kaguya’s Osaka castle. She also claims Yume is being targeted. But Musashi finds it suspicious and won’t hand her back. If she insists, fight him. That is when Yukimura’s men show up to take on Musashi and Ronin as Kaguya takes Yume and run. A distance away, Yume wakes up and learns that Musashi saved her. Technically in the loosest sense, I guess. She is glad because what she dreamt came true. Kaguya senses somebody following them. Don’t worry. It’s just Hideaki. Not sure how he escaped. He decides to follow the girls to wherever they want to go and offer his protection. But then before them is Yukimura. Hand over Yume. No can do. Okay. Let’s fight. Before the showdown between Kaguya and Yukimura can start, Hideaki being sneaky knocks out Yukimura from the back! Phew. But wait! He also knocks out Kaguya! What the?! So he is going to kidnap and take both ladies hostage? He leaves Yukimura a message for Musashi. If he wants to save both Kaguya and Yume back, come to some castle. If Yukimura wants too, she can also join in this race to save them. And so Yukimura returns to interrupt the men fighting and relay the message to see who can save the ladies first. Yeah, it’s more fun this way, I guess. Let the race begin.

Episode 11
It seems Hideaki is telling the ladies to put up with this act of his and he is confident as per Yume’s dream, Musashi will come rescue them. In fact, Musashi is already inside the castle. But first, they have to traverse a lot of traps. Same for Yukimura. Her men handle the traps so as to let her move on. Then the next set of obstacle is mechanical samurai dolls. Musashi knows that only Da Vinci can make such inventions and might have been commissioned by the shogunate to make them. As there are too many to handle, surprisingly Hideaki comes to Musashi’s aid. He is showing a shortcut to the top because he wants Musashi to win and not Yukimura who is on the shogunate’s side. No time to argue so Musashi goes with him. But it is just a ploy because Hideaki steals his Gunki. Don’t worry, he is just borrowing it to exact revenge on the shogunate and once he is done, he’ll return it to him. Musashi tries to warn him about the demon but he doesn’t believe. Oh dear. Now Hideaki is screaming because he is forced to face the inner demon. Unfortunately for him, the demon takes over. He returns to reality as one and is hell bent on revenge. He returns to the ladies but assures he won’t kill them. Yukimura arrives and as promised, she wants Yume returned. Of course Hideaki will not honour his promise since he is going to kill everyone who sides with the shogunate. And Yukimura will be his first. When he fires Gunki, Musashi pushes Yukimura out of the way. However Musashi somehow has some barrier and deflects the bullet! WTF?!

Episode 12
So it is Yume who can put up that barrier? She reveals that it is her mission to protect Musashi and not the other way round. Meanwhile we see Da Vinci making haste towards the castle. Some explanation of why he made those mechanical dolls (too ‘technical and advanced’ for me to understand of course!) and looks like he is going to fix them. Hideaki has gone crazy being taken over by the demon. He is going to just kill everybody then? Yeah, going trigger happy wasting bullets. Quick, everyone hide inside Yume’s barrier! So we have enough time to devise a plan to stop this! Da Vinci arrives at the castle and sees Yasha there too. Looks like they both know each other as Yasha updates him the interesting thing that is happening inside the castle now. It is believe at this rate, Hideaki will die. Yukimura is going to put an end to this farce as she steps out and prepared to cut down Hideaki. But Musashi won’t let that happen and comes between them. Because he’ll be the one to kill Hideaki?! Did I hear that right?! Great timing as Musashi has Yume use her special ability. So… Just use her barrier to push Musashi forward and bump into Hideaki… He drops Gunki and Musashi takes it back. So freaking easy???!!! Before Musashi could kill Hideaki, Yasha pops up to kidnap Hideaki. Da Vinci makes a proposal to Yasha and wants to follow him back to his base. It seems that as long as he gets to invent things, he doesn’t mind selling his soul to the devil. Yasha agrees and also obliges Da Vinci’s request to turn Sasuke back to his human form. Damn, is he Ninjatarou’s clone?! With that, Da Vinci goes with Yasha. When the rest return, yeah they’re surprised that Ninjatarou is here but he dismisses that. He is actually one of Yukimura’s men and tells them what happened to Da Vinci.

Episode 13
Ryougen thinks nothing has come of good ever since he became a demon. YOU THINK NOW?! And he realizes he looks ugly as f*ck… YOU THINK NOW?! Yasha returns with Da Vinci and introduces Ryougen to him. Ryougen hopes Da Vinci will help him defeat Toyotomi. Sasuke narrates how he was caught. When he was spying in Da Vinci’s workshop, he hid since he spotted Da Vinci coming in with Yasha. It seems Yasha wanted Da Vinci’s genius to create a radar that will detect 7 seals around Japan. Breaking those seals will give the ayakashi immense power. Yasha then smoked out Sasuke and wanted to kill him but Da Vinci suggested turning him into his pet monkey. With Ninjatarou here, meet Sasuke. Yeah, they’re exact clones! Musashi and Ronin tease Ninjatarou to train under Sasuke so we get to see some cheap ninja stunts and of course Sasuke being the better ninja eventually wins. Yasha gives Da Vinci his own atelier to work. In return, he wants his inventions to make the ayakashi stronger so as they could wrest Kaguya and Yume to make them Ryougen’s bride. Of course Yasha now realizes the thorn standing in their way now is Musashi and they have to do something about him too. Yasha fears if Musashi gets the other Gunki, the ayakashi will be ruined. Da Vinci wants to leave the capturing of Kaguya to him. Sasuke shows the rest a map that Da Vinci entrusted him with. So it’s a general location of the seals? Yukimura wants Musashi’s help to protect the shogunate from the ayakashi but he refuses since he prefers to plunder castles for treasures. However Yukimura notes that if he refuses to cooperate, she will have to take Yume to Osaka castle. Accepting this job means Yume can travel with him and Yukimura will come out with some excuse to convince Mitsunari. The gang splits up to different directions for their mission. Yukimura travels with her men, Sasuke accompanies Kaguya and Danjou, Yume joining with Musashi, Ronin and Ninjatarou. While camping, looks like the apparition of Shingen Takeda pops up. Yeah, this guy died a long time ago so he isn’t some ordinary ayakashi. I think he doesn’t like being awakened from his slumber so he transforms into a monster tiger to kill them.

Episode 14
WTF?! Yume doing some phoenix hadouken to destroy the tiger?! Shingen tries to fight Musashi but the rest keep interrupting. Hence Shingen kidnaps Musashi to a different dimension so they can fight in peace. It seems Shingen is also here to tell him he hasn’t mastered Gunki yet. Once he does so, they shall fight again. Weird. Musashi is thrown back to his pals and he is feeling sore he somewhat technically lost to Shingen. We see Shingen returning to Yasha, the one who revived him. Something about his plan to combine Da Vinci’s genius and revived Sengoku era warriors to strengthen the ayakashi. Speaking of Da Vinci, looks like he is near completion of a giant robot, Rasetsu. From what I understand, it has a built-in radar to help search for the seals. And also something to help in slowing down Musashi (not really sure about this part). Meanwhile back in Osaka castle, Kaguya seems to have deduced the final place of the seal. Mitsunari hears her return and Kaguya isn’t impressed about him mistreating Yume by locking her up then. Musashi’s team has reached their destination. It seems the seal is located in a castle that is submerged underwater. Ninjatarou goes to do recon but gets attacked by piranha?! I don’t know how Musashi is going to help by swinging his sword underwater but he realizes the fish are paper shikigami. Still lethal, though. Not sure why the f*ck Ninjatarou still screaming for help so Ronin uses his sword to summon lightning and strike the fish! Damn, LIGHTING AND WATER! You mean nothing else get fried?! Weird. Musashi and Ronin then dive underwater into the castle to retrieve a scroll. That’s the easy part. Because as they swim out, Rasetsu grabs onto Musashi. Ronin swims to surface for help. But better hurry, Musashi is running out of air. Yeah, his gun can’t do not sh*t either.

Episode 15
After Rasetsu steals the seal, it disappears. Had not Ronin dived back down to bring Musashi back up, the anime would’ve ended here! Musashi feels frustrated that really screwed this one up. Rasetsu returns to Da Vinci and the rest are amazed that it got a seal so fast. Since Ryougen isn’t into all this technical stuffs, he prefers to go chase women. WTF?! Then they talk about the next seal that Musashi and co are trying to get. It is a tricky one and they want to see how they’ll overcome its illusion. And of course even if they get the seal, they’re going to steal it from them like before. Kaguya’s side is preparing to leave on a journey to search for the seals. Knowing Mitsunari will not allow them, Sasuke transforms himself into Kaguya as distraction. He did this in the middle of the street, did nobody else even see this or bother?! The rest think Musashi is depressed and want to cheer him up. Ronin isn’t the guy from the job because they’re not best friends. In fact they started out as enemies. So I guess it’s a job for Yume. A woman’s touch is needed. But as she tries to sooth him, it is revealed his sulking was just thinking what to eat when they get here! Yeah, this ramen shop will do! Sure, he feels frustrated but fretting about it won’t get the seal back. Might as well satiate his hunger first. With that, itadakimasu! However look who’s back? Desperado! Oh man, going to kill him today? Well, not today. Because he saved her last time, she is just here to hand him more special bullets she got from Da Vinci then. That’s all. See ‘ya. However Yume wants her to join the gang because she dreamt about her helping out Musashi. The rest don’t agree but with Yume being adamant, I guess that’s that. And so Desperado joins the gang in their next seal search. This castle looks relatively safe. So as they split up to look, suddenly they are faced off by a version of themselves from the past!

Episode 16
Animation so bad, I can’t tell which is the fake!!! TRUE STORY!!! If you’re wondering why Ninjatarou has Sasuke as his past, not sure if this is played as a joke because Sasuke thinks Ninjatarou is supposed to be Sasuke! Damn, I’m so confused! Meanwhile a side distraction as we see Kaguya praising Danjou to make him blush. Cheesy romance? Yeah, it’s actually Sasuke disguised as Kaguya to play a prank on him?! Damn, Kaguya also in on this?! I guess the journey is going to be a long one. Back to the clone wars, past Musashi being Musashi wants to steal his Gunki and of course present Musashi won’t allow that. Past Ronin is appalled his future self is friends with Musashi because he is supposed to kill and take Musashi’s head as the bounty. Past Desperado is shocked that her future self isn’t interested in seeking revenge against her father. And past Sasuke… This guy thinks Ninjatarou killed him and took over his identity. This is even more confusing!!! This is what happens when you’re really in denial. In order for the current selves to leave this room, they must defeat their past counterparts. However they cannot kill their past selves because by doing so, they will cease to exist. And if they don’t do so, it’s curtains for them. So now you see this dilemma? How to get out of this?! THINK! Meanwhile, Ryougen and Shingen are so bored that they head down to this castle just to see their past versions? Yeah, I guess they are much more handsome and younger than this ugly state.

Episode 17
Past Ieyasu and Shingen want to kill themselves to avoid becoming monsters like the present! Oh sh*t! Your convincing game better be strong! Da Vinci is curious how the seal can seal the ayakashi so he experiments with it and woah! Who is this apparition coming out from it?! Is this onmyouji version of Yasha? Nope. Onmyouji version of Tarou Urashima! Looks like he is surprised that one of the seals has been found. Yeah, perhaps he should’ve hid it a little better, no? Because Urashima doesn’t have his real body, taking it back is impossible. So he is going to help the humans to prevent it from falling into the ayakashi’s hands. Da Vinci then asks the whereabouts of his real body. It’s somewhere. But that body is not his real body. Did I understand that correctly?! Whatever. Urashima then appears before Kaguya’s group. He can instantly teleport them to the castle with the seal. But he won’t take the seal for them? Yeah, got to earn your keep. And so they’re now in a castle that is in an underground cave. Damn, should’ve teleported the horses too. How do they get back afterwards?! Ninjatarou is so pathetic and useless that his past self is going to just kill him for the shame. When he does, Ninjatarou returns to reality. Urashima’s voice then tells the rest to let them be defeated by their past. From what I understand, because there are many futures, so killing the present may lead to another future diverging from the past. Yeah, I guess everybody so confused and just decided to trust this voice, huh? And it worked! Everybody back to reality and everyone is surprised Ninjatarou found the seal! So facing off with their past more believable than this?! Yasha is about to swoop in to steal but Urashima causes him some major headache! WTF, Yasha decides to give up and let Musashi keep the seal! That was easy!!! Meanwhile Ryougen and Shingen still trying to convince their past selves not to do seppuku!!! OMFG… Trying to convince the future is still bright but can’t convey the total truth about their failures… Seppuku!!! Rather die than this sh*t!!! Can they just lie or something?!

Episode 18
Thanks to Urashima putting a barrier for Kaguya’s side to enter, this will help dispel any ayakashi for entering. But stupid Danjou who is afraid of ghosts accidentally knocks down a seal. You mean he didn’t read it properly and put it back?! Something seeping in… Yasha seeks Da Vinci’s permission as he needs to borrow Rasetsu. He is just done with the maintenance and will let him use it. But Da Vinci asks if he knows anything about Urashima because they look similar. Yasha not looking pleased… More WTF moments because despite Musashi saying he will keep a tight leash on this seal, WTF he is playing catch with it with Ronin???!!! WTF???!!! You bet he threw too hard and now it is going to roll into the river! Thank goodness Ninjatarou saves it but looks like out from the river comes Rasetsu! Why the f*ck was it hiding in the river?! Anyway, all go all out to fight it but get owned. Yeah, Rasetsu uppercut! Stupid moment because Desperado uses her gun to knock it off balance, stupid Rasetsu somehow revealing the seal, cue for others to take it down and steal it. Damn, if Yume’s power was that powerful to knock it off, shouldn’t she have just used this from the start?! Though they got the seal, not over yet because Rasetsu is still up and kicking. Time for Musashi to use his special bullets. Well, it’s going to take more than that. Meanwhile we are freaking amused by Danjou being freaked out by… Bats!!! And then real sh*t happens when an ayakashi pops up. They think this is one of Yasha’s men but it seems this ayakashi hates Yasha and has a grudge against him. Something about Yasha being a fake ayakashi and this dude’s the real deal until Yasha destroyed him or something. Yasha pops up. Good news for Kaguya. He isn’t here to take her but the seal. The ayakashi sides with Kaguya. Yasha not scared until Urashima pops up to side with Kaguya too! Yasha is confident Urashima can’t win without his real body but the latter doesn’t mind. All he needs to do is just stop him.

Episode 19
Rasetsu and Musashi get transported to another dimension to fight! Déjà vu? I guess the rest of the gang know the drill. Let’s believe in him and wait for his return. Yeah, too bad in that other dimension, Rasetsu is kicking Musashi’s ass! Meanwhile Yasha’s headache has him remember his memories. Seems like he fought Urashima before. So Urashima gives the seal to Kaguya and has her hold on to it until he settles his fight with Yasha. WTF?! HE TOOK OUT THE SEAL FROM THE CASTLE! DOESN’T THAT DEFEAT THE PURPOSE?! Anyway, with the grudging ayakashi on Urashima’s side, he is confident he can win this time as they teleport to another dimension to shoot lasers at each other. WTF… Anyway, since Kaguya knows Urashima from before, she tells the rest about Urashima’s fight with Yasha. In short, Yasha won and stole his body. Or something like that. Meanwhile Ryougen is so bored that he goes bug Da Vinci creating his new teleportation machine. Some f*cking technical explanation about correcting history but I don’t really get it. Something makes impatient Ryougen mad so he kicks the machine and it’s starting to act up! Oh boy… So this teleportation machine is causing some time riff that sucks in Ninjatarou and Sasuke? Musashi and Rasetsu too? It also interrupts Yasha and Urashima’s fight. This distraction allows Urashima to forcefully steal Yasha’s body. Musashi is thrown back to reality. Good news, he got the seal from Rasetsu. Sasuke is also thrown back to reality. He claims that Ninjatarou has fused with him and is gone. The same can be said when Urashima returns. Yasha is now gone and history of this world is going to be corrected to its true version. And yeah, the teleportation machine explodes… Back to the drawing board?

Episode 20
Urashima explains about how Sasuke split out to Ninjatarou when Urashima and Yasha first fought. Yeah, some space-time distortion during their fight that allowed it to happen. And now because Urashima won, things are reverting back to what it is. So it’s not like Ninjatarou has died or ceased to exist. They’re the same person to begin with. WTF. Oh damn, I’m just like Danjou who still don’t get it! Urashima leaves Kaguya to continue her journey because he is going to destroy the ayakashi’s base. Ryougen is so bored that he is searching everywhere for Yasha. Where that dude been? Once again, bugging Da Vinci fixing his teleportation device. Then pops up Urashima. Ryougen can’t believe when he explains Yasha isn’t dead but never existed. This makes Ryougen sad because this dashes his dreams. Yeah, he’ll be an ugly fat f*ck for the rest of his life! In that case, Urashima is going to kill him! Oh sh*t! That escalated quickly. But before he kills him, he is going to show him the future. F*ck, Ryougen can joke he wants to show him the lottery number?! WTF???!!! Anyway, on a serious note, even if history will be corrected and Ieyasu will be the one who will take the shogunate, it’s the other Ieyasu, not you, Ryougen. So he is still gonna die, right? Ryougen then summons Shingen to help him kill Urashima. But that guy melted?! Looks like Urashima has sealed all the ayakashi in this world. Then Urashima zaps Ryougen. When the seals start to shine, Musashi who is holding it also starts shining. And then he disappears! Again! Yeah, looks like back to the other dimension. Before him is Urashima. However he is not the person whom he will fight. It will be Ryougen. Urashima wants Musashi to kill Ryougen and by doing so, the future will be changed into a corrected one. Of course, Urashima also gives Ryougen a chance to kill Musashi. Doing so means guaranteeing his life. But Musashi doesn’t want to do it. It’s not like there’s anything for him, right? Urashima is willing to tell him the other whereabouts of the other Gunki. This and also if Musashi helps him to seal the ayakashi. Oh well. No grudges against you, ugly fatty. Be prepared to die!

Episode 21
Don’t look down on Ryougen! This guy can also fight! Well, considering the lame barriers he puts up, I guess Musashi’s gun can’t shoot through it. This is going to take a while so Urashima goes to see Musashi’s team. Yeah, they’re so bored waiting that Desperado is teaching them how to play poker! They think Musashi is coming back with this time-space distortion. Nope. It’s Urashima. Seems he is here to teleport them to the next seal. We return to the lame Musashi-Ryougen fight and it seems Ryougen is doing some weird dance. How is this his special attack? Because with Musashi’s guard down, Ryougen sneaks up on him and squeezes his balls!!!! OMFG!!! WTF???!!! THIS IS SO CRINGE AND HILARIOUS???!!! THIS RYOUGEN DUDE!!!! Yume’s side is walking through a cave when they spot a couple of ayakashi in front of them. It is actually Kaguya’s side. They too see Yume’s side as ayakashi. What to do? FIGHT! Yeah, should have sensed something wrong when the ayakashi fight like humans… Back to the other dimension’s fight. Seems Musashi has given up. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. That Urashima dude isn’t even here so he has lost interest. This has Ryougen wondering about something. He believes Musashi’s goal is to destroy the ayakashi and return history to its proper version. On the other hand, Ryougen teamed up with the ayakashi so he can become the new shogunate. So doesn’t mean their goals are the same? And that their fight has no meaning? You’re right! Damn, I never thought Ryougen is this ‘smart’!!! This is what Urashima is actually hoping for them to realize. With that, he sends them back. Ryougen is back and what did he learn? He doesn’t understand the meaning of life! Oh well… When Kaguya and Yume realize each other’s moves are familiar, they stop fighting and hug each other. The spell is removed and both sides see their true form. Good thing they didn’t kill each other, right? As a freebie, they get the seal dropped right in their hand. And also Musashi returns. He thinks he is the only one having it tough so when the rest praise each other for being good fighters, Musashi is clueless what has happened and the rest laugh at him. Yeah, WTF is going on?!

Episode 22
Musashi is thinking if this journey is worth continuing. I mean, is it worth it to collect the seals now? Ryougen is a pretty much harmless guy (and a good joker to boot!) and with Yasha not around to pull the strings, the ayakashi won’t be as aggressive as before. Meanwhile Desperado is asking Danjou about the initial plan of Ryougen wanting Kaguya as his bride. Something about Kaguya has some powers but Danjou isn’t saying. Elsewhere, Kaguya and Yume are on a boat together. Kaguya hums a song that sounds familiar to Yume. She knows someone sang it to her a long time ago before but can’t remember who. Kaguya sings the full song and then tells her it was their mother who sang it. Now she remembers! Oh yeah, another round of that song but this time, mummy version. Oh damn, then another round but a Kaguya and Yume duet! Meanwhile we see Da Vinci and Ryougen getting drunk together and talk about sh*t. Mainly about Ryougen not wanting to be an ugly motherf*cking but to blow away the blues, Da Vinci just eggs him on to drink, drink and drink! DRINK MORE! That’s the spirit to prove you’re still human! And then back to more Kaguya-Yume duet of that song. Damn, can we go back to that old guys’ drunken stupor? That was more entertaining… The song is making others feel touched (Danjou getting emotional, WTF?!) but to Urashima, he is reeling in pain?! To make them stop singing, he attacks them! WTF?! Extreme! The rest want an explanation but Urashima won’t say anything. Just don’t sing it ever again. So what if they do? He gonna kill them? It seems Kaguya and Yume think Urashima is a person they know and one day he’ll return to his true form. Some minor cheesy distraction because since Desperado has been imitating Ronin’s way of speaking, everybody laughs and teases them they like each other. Da na? Oh yeah. Such fun times.

Episode 23
Ryougen is so bored that he bugs Da Vinci again. Some talk about the past and future as well as parallel futures but just like Ryougen, I don’t get it! He then notices Rasetsu has never moved ever since Yasha’s defeated. Because Da Vinci programmed it to move upon Yasha’s orders, Ryougen wonders if he can programme it for him. Just a few tinkering and it works! While the rest head to the next castle to retrieve a seal, Kaguya and Yume confront Urashima to confirm why he still wants the seals collected since Yasha is defeated and the ayakashi are no longer a threat. He won’t say. Then Yume asks him about his identity. Won’t say either. So how? She sings that song! Oh sh*t! It really hurts him! Damn, do we have to hear again their mother’s version of the song?! They wonder if he knows their mom. He continues to deny everything and disappears. And just like that they think they know who Urashima is and since he has forgotten his past, they are the only ones who can save him from this suffering. Yeah, just don’t sing the damn song! As the gang arrives at the castle, suddenly it crumbles! Rasetsu is seen flying out from it and has already obtained the seal! Despite Musashi having all the seals, Rasetsu chases after Danjou. Then he is cut down! Is Danjou dead?! Uhm… Actually, Rasetsu just scribbled something on his back! In fact, Rasetsu starts scribbling their initials on their back?! WTF?! You bet this is one of those stupid orders from Ryougen and Da Vinci. Yeah, those guys are really bored… Meanwhile we see a forlorn Urashima. Damn, background instrumental version of that song! I was hoping he would break the fourth wall complaining about it. But WTF?! He hums it himself and hurts himself?! Damn, he is even questioning his real self! Back to the weird tag with Rasetsu. Finally everybody combines their efforts to destroy Rasetsu. I mean, that robot really explodes! It’s raining debris! After Musashi takes the seal, the debris wreckage disappear. Yeah, I’m just as confused as Musashi about Rasetsu.

Episode 24
While Kaguya and Yume are still talking about Urashima, suddenly they are approached by Goemon. Don’t really understand the reason why he wants to help them but I suppose because the next seal is in a golden castle, this ninja has turned into a thief and wants to steal some gold? So he manages to get a boat for the gang to head over there but some monster crashes into it and everyone washes up ashore separated. Goemon finds the castle’s whereabouts first and heads in. This is followed by the rest. Musashi has Kaguya and Yume with him so when they enter, they find strange gold sculptures. They’re moving so I guess these are ayakashi. Yeah, the discount Oscar ayakashi dudes claim Urashima cursed them like this. But it doesn’t matter to our heroes because all they want is the seal. Oh well then. Time to fight. Kaguya rushes in first and if you’re wondering why her knife can easily slice through gold, well, some explanation it’s a special knife. Not that I care anyway. With too many Oscar clones, Yume uses her zapping power to melt them. Should’ve used this from the start! However they are now faced off with the Oscar boss. Meanwhile on Ronin’s side, they encounter some slime monster. All get stuck except Sasuke who claims he is going to get help. Like, HOW?! Goemon thinks he has found the treasure but falls into the trap and into the slime trap. Kaguya gets captured by the Oscar boss and turned into ice. Yeah, Musashi’s flaming bullets is turned into ice too. So when he uses the special ice bullet, nothing happens. So now Yume tries to make Kaguya remember their bond? How? SING THAT SONG?! OH DAMN!!! Somehow this has Urashima move and the warmth of the mother melts Kaguya from the ice. WTF???!!! This also awakens Kaguya’s true power because now she’s summoning lava to flood the place?! WTF?! EVERYBODY GONNA DIE?!

Episode 25
So… Yume’s barrier brings them out? Oh look. It’s Urashima. F*ck! Not that song again! But the flashback hinted that Urashima could be their father or uncle… There’s some explanation from Urashima but at this point I just couldn’t care. Oh, the ayakashi still lives and has the seal? No problem. Urashima just summons some monster turtle-snake to devour it and spit out the rest of the trapped comrades. And with that, they also get the seal! SO F*CKING EASY!!! Oh right. We’re running out of time. So much so he teleports them to the final seal’s whereabouts. It’s a lava crater supposedly where Kaguya and Yume crashed from the moon?! Meanwhile we take a detour to Ryougen. Da Vinci wants to go teleport somewhere but Ryougen is not interested and rather play with his Ranmaru doll. With a doll who always praises you, I can see why. Urashima then teleports Da Vinci to Osaka castle. Mitsunari is suspicious about this foreigner but Hideyori takes him in as his art teacher so that’s that. Da Vinci wonders if this castle is well defended because he is speculating somebody is going to rebel against the shogunate and attack here. It can’t be Ryougen because that bugger has lost all will to conquer. When Yukimura and her men return (where the f*ck where they?!), Mitsunari talks to them and it seems it is highly speculated that Musashi might be the one to attack. Back to Musashi’s side. With Yume’s barrier and Musashi using Gunki, damn I wish I can propel like that! He floats to the centre of the crater and enters the cave to find the seal. Damn, there are signs everywhere?! Was Urashima even trying to hide it?! Finally the chest where the seal is located… It’s empty! But what’s this? A note saying that Kojiro has already taken it! OMG. Haven’t heard that name in a while. You bet Musashi is mad. And tada! Kojiro is here in the flesh! What’s so shocking about him? Kojiro is actually a woman!!! Those boobs… No wonder Takuan lost… But that ugly manly face… Anyway, Musashi and Kojiro are going to fight to see who is the best Gunki user whatever.

Episode 26
We see the lame fight. I mean, how can Musashi fight effectively if he is using a gun like a sword?! Meanwhile Yukimura fortifies the castle with lots of men. However she is starting to think deep about everything. Because as I understand, she went around Japan and couldn’t find a single seal unlike Musashi who found all of them. She doesn’t know what to believe in anymore. The truth. The justice. Like as though somebody is manipulating it all from behind. I know who! It’s called plot convenience!!! Urashima interrupts the lame fight because he wants the seal to be combined. What will happen? Come with him and find out. Because Kojiro doesn’t want to go, she gives the seal to Musashi. She will train hard and they’ll settle their score next time. Then when she beats him, they’ll eat together. IS IT ME OR DO I THINK THAT KOJIRO IS ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH MUSASHI?! Ronin knows but he can’t say or Musashi will kill him! Urashima teleports them outside the castle. Why couldn’t he just teleport them inside? Damn, he breaks the fourth wall saying this is the final episode and they need to ramp up the drama?! Need some action scenes… But that won’t happen because the gang head inside Hideyoshi’s room where the ritual where it’s held. If you wonder why the army didn’t attack, I believe Danjou was tasked in trying to stop them. Yeah, maybe he did a good job. Meanwhile Ryougen is so bored and regretted not going with Da Vinci, WTF I don’t know what happened Ranmaru just teleported him?!

Urashima wants Musashi to put all the seals in the centre of the magic circle. Before he could do so, Kaguya and Yume want Urashima to reveal his true face. He won’t. So? SING THAT FREAKING SONG!!! OMFG!!! While in pain, Ronin slashes open his mask and the truth… Urashima is their mother!!! Another gender bender, huh? As the ritual run its course, after putting the seals and Urashima’s chanting, a coffin containing Hideyoshi’s corpse pops up. But what’s this? He has a Gunki in his hand?! But I thought it was on the moon?! It seems for the sake of Hideyoshi, Urashima brought it from the moon. Ah, Da Vinci here to conveniently explain things. Apparently it is forbidden for those from the moon and Earth to fall in love with each other. They’re not the only case and there are many in the past. To avoid tragedy, both sides lived separately. Thus Kaguya and Yume are actual daughters of Hideyoshi and Urashima. Hideyoshi thought of using some teleportation powers to bring in items from another era like guns. Repeating this causes some space-time distortion and hence actual history changed. Urashima is then sealed in another dimension by that Abe onmyouji guy. In that space also existed the ayakashi and somewhere Urashima’s body split to become Yasha and that fight happened. But the real reason Urashima is gathering all the seals is to actually resurrect Hideyoshi. That dude comes back to life. And the first thing he wants is Musashi’s Gunki?! Are they going to fight?! Well, Musashi gives his Gunki to him. Don’t want to be burdened with the devil anymore. But before Hideyoshi could take it, he turns into dust! Was the seal too weak or did God forbid any further changes to history? I say because it’s time to end this sh*t! Either way, despair for Urashima. Boo hoo! Star crossed lovers this anime isn’t. In the aftermath, Musashi, Ronin and Yume part ways with the rest to travel elsewhere. And what happened to Da Vinci? It is said he went to the future with Ryougen to become manzai comedians. WTF???!!!

Gone-dope Mu-suck-shit! Da Na!!!
OMG. OMFG! It’s finally over! I don’t know, man. I actually made it to the end! I don’t know how! Oh, right? I laughed a lot! Like, HAHAHAHA!!! Da na?! Oh man. I can now truly testify and say why this is one of the worst if not the worst anime ever made in the history. A bad blot in the anime industry that it is understandable why nobody wants to even talk about it. But like I have said. Even if this was the worst anime ever, it was so bad that it was good and there were so many parts that I was just freaking laughing out loud that I was hardly bored or dissatisfied or even mad about. I mean, this is actually enjoyable for the most part despite I don’t understand half of the conversation. Hence I don’t actually regret watching this piece of sh*t nor felt like I have wasted my time at all although it is truly one of the worst animes out there but not in the literal sense. Damn, I don’t know watching this series has twisted my brain into actually giving positive negative reviews but I can personally say that this show is like a successful failure. Good riddance. Oh boy. Don’t tell me I’m going to miss this show… Sniff, sniff. Hahahahahaha!!! Da na?

Right from the very start, it is very obvious that the production quality issues were there. When you already have at the very first episode of your series, you’re going to have major problems down the road if you don’t buck up. Very unfortunate for this series, it never did. So much so I was wondering if they decided that bad production quality was to become its trademark. Get what I’m saying? Like as though the term and job of quality control doesn’t exist within this production crew at all. Even if it did, they just f*ck it all and continued with the production because, who cares, right? I’m not sure what they were thinking or if somebody in the team had something against Monkey Punch who was the series’ creator. And Monkey Punch was very well known for his hit series, Lupin III. Gundou Musashi I guess was one of his lesser ideas that didn’t really take off but perhaps somebody back then thought they could turn this around. It became such an insult but I suppose Lupin III was such a legend that it didn’t hurt his reputation a bit. There’s some interview with the production crew a few years ago regarding this disaster but I just skimmed through it so I’m not really sure if the bad production was made on purpose or not but from general looks, it wasn’t. Oh well. Whatever the excuses, what’s done is done. Da na?

The most obvious disaster issue of this series is of course the animation. It totally sucks sh*t. Either the crew hired people who have no experience or talent at all in animating or they hired a bunch of disgruntled overworked people to just produce sh*t that isn’t even anywhere near mediocre. Hell, this is nowhere even scrapping near the bottom. There is no bottom! When you see first see the animation right at the very first episode, if you really truly love anime, your heart will sink and break through the ground. How could such crap even be passed off as anime? Either you cry or like yours truly, start laughing at how bad the rigid and stiff animation throughout the series played out. The inconsistencies throughout the series and even within the episode itself is appalling that makes you think the same few scenes are passed around and drawn by different people or the same guy did everything and put it all together under intense pressure. It’s got to be either one. Either way, the end result is what we get. Crappy sh*t that even makes horse dung look like premium item! Da na?!

Even just looking at the inconsistent character designs and animation will make you feel cringe and want to vomit but thankfully I turned all that negative force into pure laughter energy. Thanks to the bad animation, it is very hard to tell the characters’ emotions and you’ll be confused what kind of state of emotion they are in. I think you can count with the number of fingers in your hands the kind of different expressions of the characters have and still have balance. Like Musashi’s smirk look on his face, is he being cheeky or is he in panic or is this his naturally stupid looking face. You wonder. I thought hot chicks like Kaguya and Yume will at least be spared but I guess I was wrong. At the start, for example Kaguya was actually pretty decently drawn and animated (surprise!) but as the series goes by, I started to know a pretty drastic drop in quality as she too became like other characters. Yup, a case of bad quality as she starts having that derpy look or plain looks. Like they don’t care anymore, huh? Oh right. We never cared from the start.

And because of that, some of the characters have really weird designs like as though they’ve taken or stolen it from somewhere else. Just my personal opinion. For instance, I thought Danjou looked more like a sissy version of that villain from Marvel, The Mandarin. DA NA?! Is Ronin some sort of discount version of Nosferatu? Yasha and Urashima, I bet they got lazy in designing his face or something so they just cover him with a simple mask stolen from Street Fighter II’s Balrog (or Vega to you westerners). Did they design ugly Ryougen based on Ninja Turtles’ Krang? Why does Rasetsu look more like a hippie than a robot? And the most atrocious character design of all goes to Da Vinci. Oh yeah. I thought this old foreigner bugger looks like one of those creepily and weirdly designed characters taken from that horrible Legend Of Zelda game of the CD-i series! No kidding! I mean, just look at this dude. Like as though somebody us MS Paint to draw and colour this guy! Do you not agree with me, DA NA?!

If that kind of crappy animation and character design hasn’t made it all worse yet, wait till you notice the background and backdrop. Oh, what’s this? They’re not even drawn?! For the most part, they are actually real photos but they just blur it out enough so as to blend the horrible animation into it. Oh heck, you’ll notice the bad animation first before noticing the ‘cheating’ backdrop. I suppose everyone is already having a hard time (or no heart) with the animation, who is going to spend more time putting in the effort for the backgrounds, huh? After all, it is a good thing that the setting of this series takes place in feudal Japan so it would be easy to just crop a few trees, forest and some of your typical old Japanese castles or temples whatever and load them as your backdrop in this anime. There. So simple. ACC Production made this crap and it is obvious why this is their only anime they helmed… Yeah, the time-space distortion was so great that we got this sh*t in our reality instead!

You can see why having such bad production has led to a domino effect of effecting other elements in the series. Namely, the action sequences. It is hard to actually take the action scenes seriously. Or even if you can call it as one. With the stiff and jagged animation, the animation during those fight scenes sometimes feel more comical like when Musashi and the monks started fighting knockoff Black Panther ayakashi. I mean, really. ARE THEY DANCING TO SOME PARTY???!!! And sometimes, the bad animation feels like as though they scene is going to glitch. I know, it’s a TV series but you can’t help feel that some pixelated bug will show up. In addition, the action scenes lacks any impact especially when Musashi fires his Gunki. Like, WTF?! Crappy animation making his fire bullet become like some blazing laser beam or something.

And speaking of Musashi’s ability, I remember he had an electrified sword. After the first scene in the first episode whereby he used it for like a few seconds before switching to his gun, HE NEVER USED IT AGAIN!!! EVER!!! OMFG. Is he a samurai or not? Even fighting Kojiro I thought he would at least take out his sword. But nope! Still using his Gunki. What’s your sword for then???!!! Hence in retrospect, thinking about him just carrying that sword feels like it is just as an accessory. Yeah, did the producers actually forget about that? Hopefully he has given up his Gunki at the end but too late. No more episodes so we will never see him use the sword a second time. Yeah, on second thought maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t use it or it’ll be overlapping with Ronin’s sword character. Don’t want that, do we? Da na? And until the end, I never understood what kind of powers Yume had. Like as though she can do a lot of things with her barrier projection but only when the plot calls for it.

The other element being affected by this bad animation is the sound. Uh huh. Sometimes I thought that it was my hardware or sound card that has problems but nope. It’s just this sh*tty anime and its lousy sound quality. Because there are a few instances where the sound doesn’t actually line up with the conversation and everything is like off. The sound effect is also like the worst and sometimes there are times when everything actually goes silent, prompting me to wonder if my audio hardware had problems. And then shortly after, the sound comes back. I don’t know if this was for dramatic effect and boy, it sure threw me off a few times.

I wouldn’t say that the voice acting is bad but like I’ve said, the bad production overshadows everything. Therefore when you have Daisuke Namikawa playing the lead role of Musashi, it’s not that he sucks in playing this samurai but it made me think that this is what Fate series’ Waver sounds like if he is such a comical wuss. Really. Yuu Kobayashi is indeed very recognizable here and doing double roles as Sasuke and Ninjatarou. Brings back the good ol’ days when she used to voice lots of crazy characters because of her crazy voice. It’s one of the very few ‘comforting’ things to know watching this series. And what a surprise I didn’t expect Takahiro Sakurai to make his cameo as Kojiro. Again, I feel because of the bad production, his voice doesn’t really match and suit his character. I mean, this guy can sound gay and effeminate but when you look at Kojiro’s manly ugly face, it just feels weird and turn you off. And then there’s Rei Igarashi as Yasha and Urashima (Diana in Higashi No Eden), she speaks in such a slow and soft voice that I wonder if her character is supposed to be of the sleepy kind. Like as though she isn’t really interested in taking on her character role.

I guess if I had to point out the most interesting voice acting, it would be Shiro Saito as Ryougen (Jogorou in Sankarea) because this dude really makes his character a comic relief. The more you hear this guy, the more you want to laugh and for me, I think I just wanted to hear more from him rather than all the other characters! Rest of the other casts are Jin Horikawa as Ronin (Tetsuya Onodera in Super Robot Wars OG), Shiho Kawaragi as Kaguya (Megu in Rozen Maiden), Chie Nakamura as Yume (Sakua in Naruto), Mayumi Yanagisawa as Desperado (Iwasaki in Oku-sama Wa Joshi Kousei), Kousei Hirota as Da Vinci (Genzou in Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens) and Sayaka Kinoshita as Yukimura (Kaname in Strawberry Panic).

Because of the amateurish dialogue, it is one reason why I can say that I understand half of the entire dialogue (or at least 3/5 of it to be modest). I guess there were stuffs being explained and ‘higher’ Japanese vocab being used to explain stuffs but oh well, at this rate… Anyway, what I want to say is that by this point you should notice the obvious trademark catchphrase that once belonged to Ronin. Da na? Am I right? Uh huh. So ‘catchy’ that even the other characters start taking after him. Da na? Towards the end of the series, I think they want to prolong the episode and fill in some time so they even have conversations about this catchphrase! Da na?! As far as I remember, 2 instances! Da na?! Likes, are there no other stuffs that they can talk about?! So much so that at one point Ronin just tried to change his catchphrase to “Ah, sou…” much to the chagrin of others but in no time, he’ll revert back to his old ways. That’s the way to go, da na? Sheesh…

The opening and ending themes are all rock based. Not really suitable for this kind of series unless it like Naruto. Yeah, it feels weird and out of place having such rock music being played but whatever. So you have Ghost Busterz by Ultra Brain (don’t be fooled by its name, it is nothing as epic as the epic American theme – this one has just lots of noise and unruly heavy metal voices trying to sound American) as the first opening and Glitter by Phantasmagoria as the second. Then we have Style by Kimeru as the first ending theme and Tsuyairo No Hikari by Ai Aoyama as the second one. The latter plays to a slower tune but ultimate it is still a rock piece. You can tell how lazy and poor quality this production when they don’t even change the animation for both the opening and ending credits! Same recycled animation! Why the f*ck do they even need to change the song, huh? Will that change our outlook? Didn’t. Da na?

And of course it goes without saying that I have to mention that damn ‘trademark’ song of the series that Kaguya and Yume often sing! They spam it as much as they can as the series reaches the homestretch. OMG. I think I can’t get that song out of my head! I’m humming it as I am writing this line!!! OMFG!!!! I don’t think it is that catchy in the first place but honestly it still sounds slightly (in the loosest term) better than the other theme songs. I don’t know, this song kinda reminds me of one of those BGMs in Inu Yasha. But the mind boggling thing about this song is that if Urashima is actually Kaguya and Yume’s mom, why the f*ck she gets a headache hearing it?! It doesn’t make sense?! Doe she hate this song?! I mean, it’s not that bad… Yeah… And the rest of the BGMs of this series are just weird. You got the ‘dramatic’ kind to the comical kind to practically the weird. And some are just heavy on the bass so be careful not to turn up your volume so high or the bass will kill it.

I don’t even know where to begin with the story of this series. Even right from the very start I was wondering if we were being trolled about the very brief synopsis that states the misadventures of Musashi and his quest to win the love of the beautiful Kaguya. Misadventures, yes. BUT WHERE THE HECK IS HIS LOVE FOR KAGUYA?! Never once in this anime have I seen a nose hair hint that Musashi is actually in love with her. Not one single bit. And throughout the entire series, I can clearly say that whatever actions Musashi did, he never did anything to try and impress her. Nothing. So it made me wonder if they even forgot about this and started to deviate and write whatever they could think of as they go along. So it quickly moved along from a training stint to master Gunki to a journey that has our gang finding the locations of the 7 seals. Yeah, I know it’s pretty lame and dumb but at this point that is what pretty much expected.

There are so many loopholes that could make this series feel like a Swiss cheese but then again, it may be my limited Japanese understanding that prevented me from failing to understand parts that were being explained. A lot of mind boggling stuffs that don’t make sense and raises more questions than answers but in order not to get a major headache and sleepless nights, do what I said that I’ve always do: Laugh it all off! Oh yeah. Feeling a lot better. Having a story this dumb doesn’t make a difference if your smart or stupid, da na? For example, I smell plot convenience ever since Urashima came into existence. Because this guy (or woman in the end as revealed) wants to help Musashi and gang retrieve the seals. In some instances, Urashima actually gets the seal out from the castle herself!!! Without the need of Musashi to actually get it in person? So why the f*cking need does Urashima need Musashi anyway?! Why teleport them to there in the first place? She could have just gone in and get the seals herself if her ultimate goal was to revive her beloved?! Wouldn’t that be so much faster?! Not sure if Urashima was trying to be dramatic on purpose since she did break the fourth wall once. Got to entertain us folks patient enough watching this crap. Da na?!

And now on to the characters. They’re all just freaking irredeemable and fail. Thanks to bad production once more. To think that Musashi is the my-pace kinda guy, I think he really sucks as a main character. To think that all he wanted was to get his hands on Gunki but this leads him on a wild goose chase in obtaining the 7 seals across Japan. And what happens in the end? He throws away his Gunki! Damn, should’ve thrown it away much earlier assuming if it was this easy to get rid of the demon within! Serious! So Musashi is Musashi only because he is the main character. And Ronin is his sidekick just because Batman needs Robin and Holmes needs Watson. Just saying. I don’t really understand why Yume’s role is to protect Musashi. Something about her dreams I don’t understand, but I guess they need a hot Japanese chick in the group. Why was she imprisoned in the first place? Don’t know. Don’t care. Desperado feels wasted because it was never really explained or fleshed out why her dad was killed or even who killed him. Musashi says it wasn’t him so… What now? Like as though they had this character in hopes that in the future they can add some story to her character but sadly, nope. And so we got this British lady turning easily putting aside her revenge just to become part of Musashi’s groupie all because Yume says so. Okay girl. Whatever you say. And yeah, they need some busty chick who can flaunt her cleavage for you horny guys out there. Can’t stop horniness no matter how bad the production! Da na?!

Kaguya and Yume from the moon? Moon people? Uhm… So what? Does it really matter? Sasuke and Ninjatarou being ninja clones, don’t really understand or give a sh*t about how they are one and diverged with that time-space continuum crap thingy. I guess that’s why they had the same voice actor along with Yasha and Urashima. Ninjatarou exists so that we can play the running joke of others miscalling his name for something else. Then he blows his top to correct them but then rinse and repeat this because it’s so crappy amusing. Da na? Thank goodness they somehow merged because one crappy ninja is enough. Though, Sasuke is a way better ninja than Ninjatarou, he still pretty much sucks and a failure. Seriously. Danjou, seriously, this guy is Kaguya’s bodyguard? He is pretty plain so they had to make a running joke of him being scared of the dark or being alone or something like that. Uh huh. That somehow gives him character. Not that we care. Da na? Da Vinci? I’m surprised he didn’t make a helicopter here considering he created a freaking teleportation device!

Some characters didn’t even matter. Like Goemon. Why the f*ck does he need to even appear? And after that cameo stint, what happened to him?! I assume he died since he didn’t get out of the slime. He’s just freaking forgettable. Same thing for Hideaki. I assume this guy died too since the demon got the better of him. It’s a good thing that the demon didn’t get us watching this crap because we’ll all uncontrollable laugh our ass till kingdom come! Da na?! What happened to Hidetada? So he just dropped his revenge against Kaguya like that? Okay. Don’t spend your life trying to seek meaningless revenge. Yukimura? Damn, this character is missing for the latter half and just when you thought they forgot all about her, here she comes back empty-handed! Hey, at least they didn’t forget about her! Kojiro? Why does Musashi hate her so much? Some promise they made? I guess we’ll never know. Not that we want to at this point.

And yeah, they tried to fit in some cheesy romance too like Desperado x Ronin but that was just short and never happened. I don’t know if it was just a short fling because at the end, she didn’t travel with him and it’s like she is staying with Kaguya. I mean, what’s her purpose now?! And then there’s Danjou x Kaguya and is only played for laughs because why not. And Kojiro x Musashi? I don’t even want to think about it! Having did all that, it’s such a waste they didn’t even try to make it look like Musashi got a harem. Kaguya, Yume and Desperado could all just somehow played one episode of silly fanservice harem but I guess we’re too caught up in bad production to even make it go from bad to worse. Phew? Da na?

However, I have to admit that the ‘best’ character is Ryougen! Da na?! This guy might not be very likeable at first but as the series goes on, you’ll start to notice that he will descend into some jokey and comic relief character. Like as though they wanted to write his character that way. It all started when he started visiting his younger self at the castle of illusions. That’s where he descended and start becoming an ‘interesting’ dude. This guy is more amusing than all of Musashi’s group put together! Da na! Seriously, I think they forgot about the initial plot of him wanting to marry Kaguya for her powers or something, so he got bored and drifted to something else. Yeah, whatever happened to him playing weird tag with young women and sucking their vitality? Once you get to know this guy, he is pretty harmless and funny himself, making weird jokes and the likes. You can’t really hate this guy even if you want to! Only bad production could! Da na?! This guy may be a wuss and pussy (even sounds gay at times) so it was really strange for Ryougen and Urashima to have their boss fight a few episodes before the end only to end in a draw. I guess they needed some other plot twist. In the end, become the next ruler of Japan seems like a long forgotten dream and all he wants is just to live for the moment and have fun. That’s the spirit! No wonder this guy became a manzai comedian with Da Vinci and I believe he would be more successful as one in the future! You can bet on that! Da na! So becoming an ayakashi wasn’t a waste after all, huh?

Overall, this anime is definitely bad and the worst as said before and doing so has made me into a broken recorder. My only dilemma now is whether to really classify this series as the worst anime of the year. Yeah, it’s so bad that it’s good that I didn’t really have a bad time and was enjoying every freaking second out of it. LOL all the way. Hey, the good news is that it is bad enough that nothing can get lower than this, RIGHT?! CAN IT?! We’ll just have to wait and see… Bad production so bad that it turned the entire series into one big hilarious joke that even a simpleton like me could laugh his ass off! No wonder this series has also developed some sort of cult following and maybe because of that, they didn’t want to fix things up because the original is so sinfully bad that it’s good. I don’t know where I saw it online but I read Kaguya’s horse is a popular fan favourite character of the series?! SERIOUSLY?! Oh man. We might be losing our minds to the demon that lives in this anime… Perhaps in another timeline this series was actually decent and had top quality production that made it one of the best animes ever?! Unfortunately for us, we got this super ultra mega hyper Z-grade production. It couldn’t be more fitting for me watching this at the tail end of year 2020. What a way to end the strange year. Hey, it could’ve been a lot worse than this, da na?

Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru Kan

Wait a minute!!! This had a sequel?! A third season, nonetheless?! I didn’t really think that it would be possible to have a continuation seeing the second season last aired back in 2015! I mean, can we even remember what freaking happened for the past 2 seasons?! And for Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Comedy Wa Machigatteiru Kan to come out 5 years later, it might seem like a long time in anime years, but I guess some wise guy thought that this series needed find its much needed closure and hence like in its title suggest, hopefully this will just end this freaking drama that seriously most of us have no clue what is going on nor remember. Yeah. Yahallo again!

Episode 1
Do we still remember Yukino’s request? Don’t worry. Me neither. So I guess she talks it out with Hikigaya and Yui. Some sarcasm. Don’t really get it. Oh boy. This first episode is really going to be a heavy one for me already… So anyway Yukino tells what’s going on on her side. From what I understand, her mom decides everything. EVERYTHING. Yukino can’t do that because of the existence of Haruno. Mom tied Haruno down and told Yukino only to do what she needed to do. That’s why she doesn’t know how to conduct herself. Since Haruno will succeed the family, the parents feared telling her what she needed to hear even if that’s not what she wanted. Hence Yukino is going to start by clarifying things with her. Only then she can get started. Next day, Hikigaya sees Saki doting on her little sister, Keika in a café. They spot him and now Keika doesn’t want to be doted by her. So I guess Hikigaya is invited to treat them? They talk about stuffs like her brother, Taishi taking the exams or something. Then Komachi joins in. It’s truly a love-hate relationship since she keeps can’t stop teasing big brother of the scumbag he is and saying it all with a big happy smile. So funny that it even makes Saki laugh. Hikigaya and Komachi then shop for groceries before returning home. More little sister mockery. But then she gets very serious as she prostrates before him just to give him a sincere thanks from the bottom of her heart for all that he has done for her. So serious that Hikigaya has water coming out from his eyes! You mean tears? I’m sure he’s confused about little Komachi now all growing up. Not as confused as I am watching this first damn episode!

Episode 2
So Haruno invites them in. Then she starts drinking, probably a sign that she isn’t really interested in hearing out Yukino but whatever, she’ll listen anyway. So Yukino expresses she wants to talk about their future with mom. Knowing that she is a stubborn woman, even if she fails to change her mind, she doesn’t want to have regrets. Haruno agrees to help out and will try to set them to meet, though success not guaranteed. But by doing this, it can be safely assume that she will have to go back and live with mom for a while. So start packing your bags. So as Yui helps her do so, Haruno goes to flirt with Hikigaya while talking about of course Yukino. Haruno doesn’t care for all that stuffs. She’ll support her sister whatever choices she makes. And yeah, she hopes Hikigaya to also look out for her. Next day in the clubroom, Iroha comes to set up a mini expensive projector just to play some fancy drama. Apparently this is reference because for this year’s graduation ceremony, she also wants to do a prom like how overseas high schools do. She claims it’s because she wants to become a prom queen. So that means Hayato is the prom king? She tries to change the subject about Hikigaya getting held back by a year. Anyway, holding a prom is quite hard so they question her about really wanting to do it. Yes, she still wants to. Hence Yukino questions her real intention. She will be prom queen in 2 years even if she doesn’t lay the groundwork now so why the rush? Seems she wants to lay the foundations for her next move. That’s why she has to do it this year because by next year, there won’t be enough time. Yukino agrees to help her since this would also be some sort of early preparation for her to be ready in time. However she doing this on her own personal accord and for Hikigaya and Yui, they can help out when she needs them. While everything looks happy and settled, something looks like bugging Yui. Because that time she helped Yukino packed, she uncovered a secret photo of Yukino and Hikigaya together on a ride. So this is her treasured photo? Anyway it made Yui heartbroken despite knowing it for a long time. So all that is the reason why she never wanted anything real? I don’t get it and we’re already at the end of the second episode…

Episode 3
Hikigaya sees Saki rushing out of the classroom. He follows her and it seems the results of the entrance exams are out. Komachi passes. Little sister can’t stop crying. So I guess this means Taishi is also in. How does Hikigaya-senpai sound? And then when Yui comes to further congratulate Komachi, she cries harder. WTF. Iroha seeks Hikigaya’s help since Yukino might be exerting herself. But first, she teases him about being a siscon and all. With Yui, they help plan out the prom. While making some preparations, it seems Iroha made some mistake and she feels really bad about it especially asking others to do a lot more than they’re supposed to do. They also have a mock rehearsal in which they really get dressed up to have a feel on how the prom is going to be like. Yukino dressing up in a male tuxedo while Iroha in a dress, damn this pretty couple is sure turning heads. Hikigaya goes to get Yui for the group photo but sees Saki still doing the hem of her dress. Then Yui puts on some makeup and dolls herself up. Has she ever looked this pretty before? After recording a video of the dance, it looks like the dancing of Yukino and Iroha was stiff and as though they’re in a hardcore competition. To give a more relaxed atmosphere, they decide to focus on Hikigaya and Yui. Ballroom dancing not easy. Both of them sweating. And when the music changes to a livelier one, everybody starts dancing casually and free style. Having fun? While Hikigaya has a gist to what this prom spirit feels like, he realizes it’s not his style. I hope I’m getting somewhere. I think. It’s already the end of the third one…

Episode 4
Uploading videos of the prom online, it generated some positive buzz. After Iroha has them select some pics of the prom to upload, Yukino then dismisses them as their help is no longer needed. Hence Yui accompanies Hikigaya to go buy Komachi a present. So this is to ask about their childhood dream? While Hikigaya sounds like he has jobs that rakes in the cash, for Yui, it would be a bride. Is that a flag for something? The real problem begins as the next day Iroha ushers the duo into the office. Why, it’s Haruno and mom here. To put it shortly, there are objections from the PTA regarding the prom despite those dissatisfied are just the minority. Can’t dismiss opinions of the minority, can you? No matter how Iroha argues, she is shut down. Hikigaya now understands how scary mom is despite putting on the sweetest smile. You can’t fight this woman with logic. He asks the school’s opinion so Hiratsuka suggests having intermittent discussions rather than calling it off suddenly. After mom leaves, the rest discuss about this and it looks like if the kids want to continue doing this prom thing in the future, don’t get Hiratsuka involve. It is hinted something big but she can’t say yet as it is not yet official. The topic shifts to what Yukino wants to do. She wants to convince the dissatisfied in future meetings. However she wants to do this alone and when Hikigaya and Yui want to help because they’re friends, Haruno has to draw the line that there are things she has to do alone. It might help in changing mom’s impression. Even more so Yukino admitting she doesn’t want to be further useless by relying any more on her friends. What a weird way to put it. Later Haruno asks Hikigaya about their relationship and she laughs when he actually says love triangle. But the correct answer is co-dependency and not trust. Later, there are rumours that the school might cancel the prom. Hikigaya calls Hiratsuka about this and since he wants to know more details now, she tells him that it is Yukino’s wish to not tell them. Eventually, Hikigaya still wants to help because of his promise to save her. He could have been torn since Yui is crying. I don’t think those are tears of relief but after he leaves, Yui continues her crying and more depressing monologue about her own selfishness and powerlessness to stop it all herself, pushing everything onto others. You people still get what’s happening by the end of the fourth already…?

Episode 5
Hiratsuka tells Hikigaya that the school is telling students to refrain from further planning. This discouragement basically means they’re trying to cancel it. Then they talk about how this affects Yukino and what Hikigaya is going to do about it. One thing, he doesn’t intend to disassociate with her. When Hikigaya makes his way to the student council room, Iroha is seen waiting and trying to prevent him from entering. Then she takes him elsewhere to talk about it. From what I understand, she knows there is a high chance of Yukino rejecting Hikigaya’s offer to help but he remains adamant of wanting to do so because it is his responsibility. He feels he started it all and wants to do what it takes to set it right. So the duo enter the room as Yukino takes a break from her planning to talk to them. Seeing what Yukino is up against, Hikigaya believes the problem is figuring out the suitable terms to negotiate. Yukino’s roadmap might have worked if this was normal circumstances. Since it is not, this ‘loophole’ has Hikigaya believing he can intervene. He has some objection against some methods that Yukino proposed. Though, he assures her he is just moving as she instructed him. It is no different than before. Of course Yukino fears this will end up relying on him, something that she is trying to do away. After Hikigaya blurts out he wants to save her, he won’t sit still and let things be. This means he is going to do things his own way. As per the rules of the Service Club, if there is a disagreement, a showdown is initiated to see who can do more service. So now this becomes a competition to see who can do better. Yukino adds the loser must do as the winner says. I suppose I’m just like Iroha, unsure of what is going on, super confused and feeling so irritated. And what’s this responsibility thingy again? Whatever. As long as the prom is on, she’s okay. As Iroha leaves, she thought she saw Yukino crying. Sure she didn’t put extra eye drops?

Episode 6
Iroha feels bad that all this problem started because she wanted a prom. You regretting it now? Hikigaya talks to her to find out the real reason why she insists of having it. Partly it is Hiratsuka transferring out and so she wanted to let her go with a bang. This in turn led her think that she too wants to give her friends a proper send off. She claims she is eventually doing it for herself as she doesn’t want to have regrets. Later Hikigaya talks to Yui and tells her of that competition with Yukino that resulted from then. Then he discusses with her his plan to create a bias view for the school. Essentially, creating something that is far worse than the prom that they have to go with the prom idea. There is a chance they might reject both but Hikigaya doesn’t think so. If the school was so going to cancel it, they wouldn’t have told students to voluntarily not to participate. Hence they have to create something bad but is also legit. The problem is they lack time and manpower. Hikigaya calls over Zaimokuza, Saika and Saki. I’m sure they’re confused about Hikigaya’s anti-prom plan to have a prom. With Saiki reminding Hikigaya to explain properly and the reason why he wants to do it, Hikigaya admits he couldn’t care less about the prom but is doing it to help Yukino. That’s why he wants it to happen. Saika and Saki have commitments so they can’t freely lend a hand. Zaimokuza however will help and you bet he is going to get some manpower by tomorrow. Hikigaya and Yui then rent an internet café to do more research. Cue for Yui to pretend to sleep on Hikigaya’s shoulder as once more that narration about the happy times she wishes it would never end but reality has it that it is going to end very soon. She hopes her lie will become a reality and hopefully this relationship will come to a proper end. Basically, DON’T LET IT END! Yui being Yui selfish of course…

Episode 7
Zaimokuza introduces Hatano and Sagami from the gaming club as extra help. You surprised this nerd has friends? At first they have doubts about the things that they are going to do but after hearing how Hikigaya puts up with all the selfishness of Iroha, I think they’re in. So they get things started on the fake plan that they are going to do and make it sound convincing. Yui suggests Kaihin since they have done collaborations with them so having a joint seaside prom. Hikigaya and Yui then go to see Tamanawa and Kaori. Tamanawa rejects their proposal because it is too abstract. Then it descends into a rap battle?! WTF?! I don’t understand what is going on but seeing them doing so is just hilarious! Eventually Hikigaya loses. Going back to the gang, they then discuss the website they are going to use and Zaimokuza comes up with a name for it: The Saiko Project. Later Hikigaya spots Yukino and he goes talk to her as they catch up on things. And then here comes Yui. That look in her face… Does she have to make it so dramatic and sad because it’s only been days that they haven’t seen each other and she’s like hugging and saying they should do all sorts of things together once this ends. Yeah, might as well marry her! Hikigaya can only watch and his only hope after seeing this pseudo lesbian seeing is to not make any screw ups.

Episode 8
Hikigaya talks to Hayato for help. He understands the dummy plan but due to circumstances, he can’t help. Hikigaya and Yui have Ebina and Yumiko take pictures of themselves on the beach so this can be used as their wallpaper for their website. End result looks good. Hikigaya then needs someone to leak this and thinks Haruno is perfect for this job. Though she can easily do it, she finds it baffling he is going all out to help Yukino despite she doesn’t want his help. Hikigaya claims he is doing it for self-satisfaction but all Haruno thinks the best is for them just to not do anything and watch over her. Yui disagrees because nothing changes if you don’t do something. That’s why they need to properly bring this to an end. Even if it’s not the ending Yukino wants? Next day, Hiratsuka calls for Hikigaya seems someone is looking for him. It’s Yukino’s mom and she can tell Hikigaya is the one who came up with this dummy plan. She finds it executed poorly. Hiratsuka shows a few options they can go over because if the prom is cancelled, there will be some students who will rebel so it is wise to have some plans they have some influence over. Mom understands but isn’t sure if she can convinced the rest of the group. This is when Hikigaya realizes it isn’t her he is fighting against so he tries to make her use her influence to try and convince her group otherwise. Even going as far as to somewhat remind her that it was him whom her car banged into quite some time ago and injured his leg. Next we see Haruno talking to Hayato about this co-dependency thingy and later to Yui on the same topic. Yui disagrees with her co-dependency concept because it hurts so much? Now we see Hikigaya talking to Yukino. Both trying to admit the other has won. Until she gets honest about feeling comfortable spending time with other people that it made her happy. Something about she had no idea to rely on others and made a mistake somewhere. This fake relationship is wrong but it’s okay since he helped her. That’s why this competition and relationship will end with this. Hikigaya admits his loss and will do what Yukino says. Her wish is for Yui’s wish to be granted. And she hopes this will be the correct ending. Yukino then goes to talk to Yui that it looks like the prom will be held all thanks to them. The help that she relied on. But now all that is over now. Oh boy, Yui getting that sinking feeling again.

Episode 9
More Hikigaya-Yui conversation. He asks her about her wishes and she has many of them. Not sure if this is a joke or serious but what he wants to talk to her about is the competition that he lost. Yui thinks that was only because it was arbitrary and because of his habit of saying he’ll do things to the best of his abilities when in actual fact he can’t, it somewhat pushes himself to do it until it works. After the prom, Yui hopes they can do something together because she too wants to grant his wish. With tomorrow’s prom technical rehearsal on the cards, but today Hikigaya isn’t free to help out. Because of his plan to make a cake for Komachi, Yui invites him to her house for some ideas. Yui’s mom wants to join in. Yui doesn’t want a third wheel but since Hikigaya insists, perhaps mom’s input will do some good. So they decide on the kind of cake they want to make, go buy some ingredients and make some. So easy. At the end of the day, seems Hikigaya has made some for Yui too as thanks. His monologue tells us if he could only live out his days like this and grant all of her wishes one by one. I think he has to be an immortal for it to turn out like that… Now we return to the graduation ceremony, speeches given by representatives that will turn the most badass guy into tears. Once that is done, time to focus on the prom.

Episode 10
The committee delegate the roles for the prom. Hikigaya will be in charge of the sound since everyone including himself agrees he won’t be suited for reception. Iroha is also with him. Not sure but I’m thinking she is baiting him about some flirting but he’s not buying into it. The prom gets underway. Hikigaya gets to dance with Yui. However she feels sad the next one will be the last. Then talking to Yukino, she expects him to grant her wish soon. Don’t you dare ruin this. After the prom, the committee celebrates. Yukino’s mom comes in to praise a good job she did. When Yukino expresses interest to continue dad’s job, everyone waits with baited breath if this is going to turn ugly. Surprisingly mom will support her if this is the career path she wants to take. Later Haruno talks to the trio and it seems she cannot accept this. After all that has happened, she just can’t give up her position just like that. So if they really want to end this, they have to satisfy her too. The trio then contemplate about their time in the Service Club. When Iroha comes in to clean up, Hikigaya takes his leave. Yukino takes this chance to thank him for his help. Weird scene of her tugging his shirt. Weird hand action from him trying to let her go. Weird stare. Hikigaya goes to see Haruno to confirm her intentions. Haruno actually doesn’t care about the family or who does what. All she wants is for him to give her some sort of ending that she can be satisfied with. It is obvious mother didn’t accept this either because she didn’t outright accept or reject. The wish she made was nothing but an act of compensation and they just reworded it just to deceive themselves and avoided looking at reality. She knows it because she’s done her fair share of deceiving. In fact, her entire life is a deception. Later Hiratsuka hangs out with Hikigaya. Essentially she is telling him that the relationship between the trio is more than that and cannot be just summarized into a single co-dependency word.

Episode 11
And the word Hiratsuka sums up for all the words that could describe them: Love. Yeah, that would make sense. I think. Next, Hikigaya’s conversation with Yui. He thinks it’s time for it all to end. In that case, she can tell him her wish. But first, he mentions about something he can’t accept. Something about Yukino if she compromised something to accept this, this is something that won’t do for him. He fears of being unable to associate with her if he gives up on this. Yui tells one of her wishes, something about wanting for Yukino to be part of this. I guess the tears come late for Yui. Because only when she arrives him, she starts bawling out. Oh, mom is such a good shoulder to provide. Next day, it seems Iroha is interrogating Zaimokuza and team about this dummy prom. She would’ve loved to go for Hikigaya himself but it seems he is right now been called to do explain himself by Yukino’s mom. From what I understand, Hikigaya thinks this dummy prom can be way better than the one they did. Haruno disagrees with going ahead with this since it will negate all their efforts that have led to the permission of holding that prom. Even there is no time, money or manpower left, Hikigaya thinks this still can be pulled off. Of course he is asking for help from Yukino. Mom gives Yukino the option to decide. With this obvious bait, Yukino accepts Hikigaya’s help. Later, a long conversation between Hikigaya and Yukino. Yukino not pleased he hasn’t grant Yui’s wish but he mentions Yui’s wish of having Yukino part of it. Something about their hopeless communications skills, this kind of relationship Hikigaya finds it hard to maintain, damn what’s going on? And what’s this about Hikigaya wants the privilege to mess up her life? As if her life hasn’t been messed up enough. It sounds like a proposal that he’ll give her anything and everything just to be part of her life. With all that’s being said (fancily), I guess Yukino relents and gives him permission to come into her life and make a bigger mess out of it. Oh boy. Is this heading where I think it’s heading?

Episode 12
Hikigaya and Yukino continue to discuss about the prom. They think the seaside location is good and will go recce tomorrow. And we see them there, getting a little distracted taking pictures of themselves and being a bit conscious about it. And also a wedding nearby… Is this some sort of foreshadowing? You can tell the preparations are going well when all the characters now chip in to help. Of course, save the best for last, here’s Yui to help too. While setting up the place, Iroha tries to bait Yui to do something irreversible to Hikigaya because that guy loves taking responsibilities, right? Yeah, responsibility freak. Then there’s Komachi who wants to call Iroha her big sister so is this a hint of who she wants her sister-in-law? Of course it’s just a joke. The prom is ready to go, Yukino’s mom ‘warns’ Yukino that there will be flurry of complaints coming in after this. Not even she can take her side when that happens. Don’t worry. Yukino will take responsibility of it all! The prom goes well although you could say the ‘staffs’ are overworked. But it was a memorable one. We have Hiratsuka talking to Hikigaya about things. Some embarrassing things. Including a failed dance that has them trip over each other. I guess this is essentially an official goodbye between them? Hikigaya returns to Yukino who throws him a lot of clean up tasks. But I guess there’s one not him and nobody else could see: Yukino confesses she loves him! OMG! DID WE WAIT THE ENTIRE SEASON, NO, THE WHOLE SERIES FOR THIS???!!!?!?!?!?!?!?! So awkward she even runs away… Probably Hikigaya needs to think of something to say for that in the future… In school as the new season starts, Hikigaya continues to discuss with Yukino. When she hints he should come to her place for dinner because mom also wants to get to know him… Komachi is now officially in this school. She also wants to join Service Club but the duo claim the club is no more and not recruiting. She’s not worried. Because Iroha has approved the existence of it. But will they have anything to do? Oh, soon. Because Yui comes in with a need for advice. The person she likes has someone that seems like she’s his girlfriend who is also her best friend. How can they continue to be best friends forever? Let’s sit down and have a long talk about this…

My Depressing Teen Romantic Tragedy Has Ended… Words, Don’t Come Easy…
Oh God. Is it over? I hope so. I don’t know how much more I can take it. Going in one ear and coming out the other. Must be tough being a simpleton. So just to check, aside our main characters pulled off something good. Not necessarily something that could change the world but something good enough to be considered an achievement by their own standards. Then a confession that we’ve all been waiting for. And finally the dilemma of wanting to stay friends with the person who is dating your crush. Isn’t that simple? You just continue being friends like always! Even easier because this is anime so it is definitely more possible than in real life! So I don’t really see what all the fuss Yui is worried about stopped being friends. Haven’t they been that for this whole entire time?! I don’t think they were ever at war the slightest. So what’s the problem?! And if those feelings are greater, then just aim for a harem route! Gosh. My advices. No wonder I’m not in the Service Club.

Seriously even as I am writing this, I fail to understand what the whole story of this season is about. Forget about the whole story of the series. I can’t even get past the plot for this season. Forgive me if I am dead wrong because seriously, I don’t really, really, really understand what really happened. Sure, you can suggest of going back to watch the first 2 seasons. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!! I don’t want to bring back the trauma of not understanding further and in the process making myself even more confused. Uh huh. I’m going to give the sh*ttiest excuse that there is no rewatching value for this series! So go ahead, blame my faulty memory for not understanding what has happened for the past 2 seasons and then went ahead to give the wrong opinions for this third season. Sighs. Can we end this and give this series a rest?

So from what I understand so far, Yukino is having some sort of problem. The problem of relying for help on others and she fears if that becomes a habit, she’ll become a useless person and that’s a no-no. You see, one of the problems that I find watching this series is that the way they portray or say about some issue, it sounds like it is totally serious. Something that is dangerous and will have grave consequences if not handled properly. From what I can see so far, it feels like all these issues were just exaggerated and blown out of the water! Maybe everybody’s such adept in handling the situation and avoiding it from becoming national level security threat or something. But the point is, I fail to see how serious the problem is that it would really cause irreversible damaging effects in the future. So like in Yukino’s case, I understand she wants to be independent and do things on her own. But may I remind her that she lives in a society and no man (or woman) is an island. Hence directly or indirectly, she still has to rely on something. Yeah, to take my point to the extreme, you need electricity to run power for the prom. So is she going to the deep sea offshore rigs to drill for petroleum and turn them into power so she could run the prom? Or you have skilled professionals to do that for you? See what I’m trying to say here?

Considering holding the prom sounded like the biggest issue and plot we have for this season, eventually it came and go without anything interesting to boot! They make the prom sound like the biggest subject and the problem that must be tackled within this season. Turns out it is not. Okay, perhaps the prom isn’t the actual thing that we are supposed to focus on (Yukino’s problem and how Hikigaya goes about it, Yui’s problem and how Hikigaya goes about it, I guess) so when it was all over in an instant, I was like, that’s it? It doesn’t sound so bad having this prom, huh? Maybe it is because we didn’t see all the fuss and protest behind the scenes from those damn PTA. I thought it would’ve ramped up some much needed drama for this boring and draggy season even if it looked so out of place. But I guess that area is not for Hikigaya and friends to go and touch. Leave it to mom and sis to go smoothen it out. Just hold your prom, that’s it. And it’s mind boggling that the dummy prom, did Hikigaya just add more to the complication by wanting to go ahead with it? I thought this was done and dusted? Is this some elaborated and subtle way to further help Yukino or something?

And then they try to paint Yukino’s mom as some sort of terrible person whom you have to tread carefully or else she’ll eat your head off. Okay. I’m exaggerating but that was the impression I got about her at first. Then as I watch her converse with Hikigaya, she isn’t as bad as a person as I thought she would be. Maybe it’s all about subtlety. A simpleton like me couldn’t possibly detect the ‘threat’ in her kind and polite tone of her voice. Thankfully there are no incidents so, so far so good? They also paint Yukino’s family of having some problem. At least, something between the parents and daughters and something about succession. I know every family has their own quirky problems. But looking at Yukino’s (as well as not fully understanding its entirety), it just feels like some sort of elaborated first world problems. I mean, if mom was really a very strict person, I don’t think Yukino would’ve even enrolled in this school in the first place. Yeah, something I’m missing here but at this point I don’t really care.

Then there is Haruno too. I don’t know if I should classify her as an ally or a villain because she seems pretty ambiguous in her words, body language and all. But maybe I’m wrong in the first place in trying to categorize her as so. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I still don’t really know what she wants. Because of the way she says things, I am unsure if she wants to help Hikigaya or she is against him. Is she for Yukino or against her? Damn, the women in Yukino’s family are sure hard to understand. And just when you thought the problems are solved, here she comes to add more woes to the complication because she wants a satisfying ending. Like, WTF? Is Hikigaya some wish granting machine or something?! I know Hikigaya feels responsible for this mess he created (including why yours truly still don’t get it until today) and she still wants him to do something about it? Oh right. I can understand why fans of certain movie or game franchises who are unhappy with how a certain movie or game came out, want those producers to redo it again till they’re satisfied. I mean, you don’t want to be the only loser who isn’t satisfied while everybody else is pleased, do you? But can Hikigaya satisfy everybody? I’m sure he’ll find a way… I think. And from the way this series ended, was it the ending Haruno wanted? Or is that still work in progress and we totally forgot about it?

So the main complication and what the series is about is the relationship between Hikigaya, Yukino and Yui. I have this feeling that the producers want to confuse us with this elaborated and draggy love triangle. In short, it is just a simple love triangle between the trio but they had to go the extra mile to complicate things with the kind of different words they used and the drama just as to prolong AKA confuse us. Yeah, co-dependency. Nice word. Whatever. I am so co-dependent on my animes! So I understand they value their friendship and breaking the status quo means things can’t stay like this forever. Imagine if Hikigaya officially ends up with one of them. Can this friendship stay the same like it did before? My guess is that it could because it’s Hikigaya we’re talking about. But what does that leave the other girl who lost out? Not good. With all the signs pointing towards Hikigaya x Yukino but at the same time Yui who has a major crush on Hikigaya doesn’t want to hurt Yukino and stay friends with her, that’s why she’s holding back. If there were only the right words for the right occasion… It felt like it was going to be a big thing about Yui’s feelings for Hikigaya but in the end I just don’t see it coming anywhere. Did it happen in some way? Maybe I missed it through all the dialogues. This isn’t an ‘action’ oriented anime, you know. And will death be upon Hikigaya now because he has somewhat become a normie in this messed up romantic comedy joke of a life? Never mind. Forget that embarrassing nonsense I made up.

Many of the other characters here do not matter. They fall by the wayside like as though they never existed but I believe that is for the better because they don’t want to distract us from the Hikigaya-Yukino-Yui drama. So fans of Hayato, Saika, Saki, Ebina and everybody else, so sorry that they just feel irrelevant here. Even Zaimokuza has his 2 minutes of fame but that itself feels very miniscule. Iroha taking the biggest share of the minor supporting characters this season. I feel they needed some sort of cheeky girl to tease Hikigaya and that’s what I see her role. Same case for Komachi but to a lesser degree. Sometimes, Hikigaya’s cue to give his mini sarcastic comeback or something. Not that I really understand it at this point. And Hiratsuka moving away or something, is that supposed to be something major? It sounded like one but eventually I feel that fizzled out. I mean, what else could you do about it?

Megumi No Ame by Nagi Yanagi as the opening theme sounds pretty generic to me. But the weirdest part I find is watching the girls doing a very weird short dance in the prom! I don’t know, I find that pretty weird because seeing that seems to make my hair stand on ends. Definitely nowhere near Gangnam Style material. And with a big chunk of the opening credits animation focusing having this prom theme, the reason why I initially said a few paragraphs earlier that I thought the prom was going to be this season’s ‘storyline theme’. The main ending theme is Diamond No Jundo and is a duet by Yukino and Yui. The original one is a generic anime pop, lively and fast paced. There are also special Yui and Yukino solos to drum up the dramatic effects. Personally, I think their slow and lovely ballad versions sound better. Probably it’s a sign that when the final episode uses the opening theme of the first season, the whole series has already ended for good. Still remember Yukitoki by Nagi Yanagi? No? Me too.

Overall, this third season is still a very hard and frustrating one to watch. Even more so when it concludes everything. Or at least that is what I believe it has. Please, no more sequels ore a reboot or remake of this series! In addition to Yui’s catchphrase, can I say Ya-bye to this series for good? Oh wait. Yabai… Doesn’t haven’t a nice ring to it anyway. Forget it. It takes a very special kind of people or hardcore fans of the series to actually enjoy and appreciate this series because it is very dialogue-y. Lots of talking and very conversation-y. I’m not one of those people as you can already tell. Looking back at my previous blog, looks like my wish of having the sequel to be easily understood was not granted. And even though this is not the kind of ending that I wished for or can be satisfied with, I am still content that it has just simply ended. It’s over. Done. Concluded. Finish. Owari. What more other words do you want me to describe that? Ya-bye…

Hacka Doll

If you think Siri and Alexa aren’t really helpful virtual assistants, then you deserve better. Because living in an era filed with saturated and abundance of information, it is getting tougher to solve and provide the correct solutions. Folks, introducing the personal entertainment AI robots known as Hacka Doll! Yes, these real life sized androids are programmed to solve your every need and help advance humanity. Just download them and they’ll pop out from your screen to offer their undivided attention and help. Try it! You won’t regret it! Oh, you’re still not convinced? Then check out this anime as a form of testimonial to see how useful they are. You’ll definitely be left with wonderment and amazement. Nothing can beat these babies. That’s what you call service and you’ll be calling more of their assistance in no time. Definitely.

Episode 1
As narrated, due to the immense amount of info, people have a tough time finding the correct one. Hence, the creation of the programme called Hacka Doll to help with that need. However Hacka Doll #0 is very disappointed with #1, #2 and #3. They are practically useless! Their low scores practically tell everything. So in order to have them earn their keep, they are sent down to Earth and must help humans to advance. And so this curious girl who downloaded the app, it’s the start of her nightmare. Yeah, the Hacka Doll trio just pop up before her for real and then they start performing some component analysis which is some sort of a scan to determine one’s likes and dislikes. Feeling violated with that unauthorized scan? They make a few risqué suggestions before stumbling into her core yaoi BL sketchbook! They want to help her but she doesn’t appreciate it. Even more so she learns they aren’t full fledge Hacka Dolls and they are begging for her to advance so they can be one! Later, #1 thinks of buying oden for her and force feeding her. Of course it is too hot and it burns them both. I don’t think eating it is considered as advancing…

Episode 2
A producer is in trouble. Looks like there is an empty slot for an idol concert in his schedule. Oh, if only there was just 1 idol group to fill in that spot. Don’t worry. Hacka Dolls are here! So you mean they want to be the idols instead of introducing another idol? The producer isn’t so sure and #1 is hell bent in bugging him to be one. Oh well. What has he got to lose? Since they have a few days, he has them undergo intensive training. On the day of their debut, as #1 is in the toilet nervous, she could hear others badmouthing about the new group that they won’t get far. #1 feels down but with some words of encouragement from the producer, she’s back on track. Such simple mindedness. Yeah, let’s go make miracles! Hacka Dolls take the stage as they sing a song about cabbage. WTF… Aside the strange music, their dance is also so robotic. The audience isn’t happy… Even the producer… He is so doomed. You know it is so bad that the building collapses! OMFG. #1 thinks she screwed up. However, there is only 1 otaku who is now her fan because somehow it resonates with him. Yeah. #1 so happy. What a miracle indeed.

Episode 3
Looks like the corporate bigwigs are trying to pin the blame on a scapegoat for some bug in some AI programme. Don’t worry. Hacka Dolls are here to fix it! They are being told if only Yama, the genius programmer who made the programme helped but he has holed himself up and refused to do anything. #2 tries some fanservice but looks like he isn’t into her. Yeah, ever since his maid anime ended, he lost all motivation. #1 forces #3 to dress up as one but Yama’s taste is only for 2D. #3 accidentally presses a button that initiates some hacking programme. Yeah, why the f*ck did Yama create it in the first place? Sure, it’s for some rebellion thingy, but seriously, it also has self-destruct capabilities?! Hacka Dolls fail to stop this attack so just unplug the LAN wire for some reprieve. Not sure about this counter attack plan that Yama says but it’s back to more hacking as the AI programme continues its self-destruct countdown. Finally they manage to beat it and as they celebrate, #3 presses another button to continue the self-destruct… Oh dear… BOOM!

Episode 4
Ikuo plays a dating sim but he is pretty cynical about it because it all only happens in a game. Suddenly the game crashes and coming out from his screen is #2. So is she going to help advance his love life? Ikuo is of course surprised at the turn of events. I guess reality is harder than the game because what the heck is he supposed to do now?! Lots of weird interactions and the usual cliché of him slipping and falling on top of her. And then he accidentally spills milk all over her. She takes a bath. Nothing happens. She comes out. More awkwardness. What the heck is going on? Nothing much. I suppose the temptation is too much so now he becomes aggressive and pushes #2 down on the bed. Too bad before anything steamy can happen, they realize #1 and #3 are watching. More accident as Ikuo gets spilled by coffee. When #2 changes, the rest blindfold and tie him up so as not to peek. But then mom just returned and enters his room. WTF is this hentai play???!!! Ikuo and Hacka Dolls are so awkwardly dead as mom lectures them about the lewd play…

Episode 5
You bet #0 is so disappointed with the trio that she is going to do something about it. So she sends the newly created #4 to show them what it means to advance. But you can tell she too is another retard by the way she overdoes things. Meanwhile the trio are working at the convenience store. They were trying to help the owner but as you can see, they screw up. Don’t worry. #4 will show it to them. So we see her going overboard in giving much more than the customers want. And when a little girl wants to see a shooting star… Oh boy… #4 makes a satellite fall from orbit! Amazing. At this point #0 is not amused and throws her at the satellite to return to its orbit. Then all those customers start complaining with all the overboard stuffs and beat up #4 to take responsibility. Now what will happen to the trio? If #0 is cracking her knuckles… Oh no…

Episode 6
#3 goes to toilet to pee and realizes her dick is missing!!! Wait a minute!!! #3 is a guy???!!! I DON’T ACCEPT IT! Anyway, something is wrong with other Hacka Dolls. Due to some bug in the system, all of them have weird parts. It will be fixed by the end of the day but #3 is tasked to help some lonely rich brat. His wish is for her to play with him. And so they have fun the whole day and they even play husband and wife! At the end of the day when the bug is fixed and #3 is to return home, rich kid doesn’t want her to leave. In fact, he is willing to elope with her! Let’s live together forever! Of course she can’t. She can’t say the truth either (that she has a dick?). Is she going to leave him all alone? To help with that, she gives him her ribbon. However he won’t accept it and returns it to her. Hold it until they meet again. That’s a promise. Damn, this episode is heart breaking weird.

Episode 7
Do you love anime? Do you want to work in an anime studio? Yes?! That’s right. You get your chance, #1! And so we see an eager #1 heading off to help an anime studio. You know something is wrong when everyone is so demotivated and overworked… And the episode title is Kurobako… Damn… So #1 won’t be doing anything glamour. Some production assistant who will be coordinating efforts between the various departments. We see her trying her best but as you can see, it soon takes a toll on her. #4 is also here but after that lecture, she goes crazy and runs away! Now #1 has to do her portion!!! More stress and strain for #1 until she is at her low point. Then #2 and #3 pop up to give her some timely morale booster and to also help out. Let’s go full force! Finally it’s done! Yeah, after all that the quality still sucks! However the producers won’t get to send it to the TV station in time. Looks like another recap this week. The third one?! Hacka Dolls will not lose and manage to send it over. Hooray! We’re done! Good job. Now we look forward to your help for the next episode. Oh sh*t… #1 runs away and realizes anime is best enjoyed at home! Damn right. So you people better appreciate your weekly anime!!! Never take it for granted! ALWAYS!!!

Episode 8
A girl named Kirara is running away from shady people. She calls for help but here is Hacka Dolls! It seems Kirara is an alien and wants to return to her mothership above. Because Hacka Dolls accidentally crush her translation device, you bet they’re going to be lost in translation. Hence they think she wants to hang out and bring her shopping and sightseeing. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And so Kirara enjoys her time with them as they have fun. Even trying out the super delicious ramen! Then she sees the Skytree tower and thinks that place is high enough to communicate with the mothership. There, it seems the MIB and #4 are the ones chasing Kirara under orders of NASSA (not typo error!) to capture her. #4 messes up, allowing the rest to head to the rooftop so Kirara summons her mothership to pick her up. Kirara is grateful for Hacka Dolls’ help and reveals she is a princess of her planet but got separated from her group during a tour on Earth. She pecks #1’s check, a sign of goodwill from her planet and will never forget their time with them. Yeah, unforgettable ramen… She turns into her true form, a pig. So cannibalism, if you get what I mean?! Up she goes and somehow #4 gets suck into the mothership as well.

Episode 9
Hacka Dolls log into the online game of SQO (Sword Quest Online) to help a guy named Yuuto log out. Yeah, this guy has been playing the game for so long he hasn’t come out of his room and his family is worried. But there’s a reason for that. He is in the clutches of his guild’s strongest warrior, Kazuya and until he obtains a rare item, he can’t log out. Hack Dolls join him on his journey to get the rare item but it seems #4 has beat them to it. Furthermore, Kazuya is actually #4’s sub account. Hacka Dolls are defeated easily and soon Yuuto too. But don’t fear. With the power of his family logging in, Yuuto gets back up to fight back. So he has the Hack Dolls’ head as his sword? The action abruptly ends so I guess we have to believe in Yuuto to save the world!

Episode 10
Hotspring episode! Time for some real fanservice! Oh yeah! But soon it turns into a murder mystery! A cliché one! The murder leaves a note saying he will kill 1 of them at midnight. What great timing for the inspector to be here to help solve this mystery. The killer is among us! #2 becomes his assistant and it seems they’re trying to pin the blame on #4! Suspicious… Eventually with no evidence, they want to give up? It is close to midnight and the obvious killer who is one of the guest wants to strike but #3 decides to play that Detective Conan cliché by putting #4 to sleep and deduce the mystery. It’s a stupid deduction anyway as she claims #4 is the killer! Poor #4 get arrested but it will be some time before the real culprit is caught via fingerprints on the letter.

Episode 11
Hacka Dolls are going to help Takeuchi to come up with a birthday present. It’s for his favourite seiyuu, Yuppy. As she is holding a birthday concert next week, he wants it to be perfect but doesn’t want to hand the present directly. #1 and #2 have plain suggestions so Takeuchi being a total fan nerd scorns at their ideas. Takeuchi clicks with #3 since she too is a big fan. And so they go about their birthday present search that looks like a case of spying, detective work and drama. Yeah, WTF. At the end of Yuppy’s concert, she announces she is retiring because she wants to travel the world. This has all her fans in shock and Takeuchi being so disappointed that he is about to call it quits as her fan. But #3 wants him to give her the present in person because that is how true fans should be. Takeuchi runs through all the security and despite getting roughed up, makes his way to Yuppy to finally give it to her. She thanks him for being a fan. And with that, Takeuchi dies a happy man!

Episode 12
Even magical girls need help. Lovely Hurt is uhm, hurt. So they need Hacka Dolls to take their place to defend the town from monsters. Uhm, isn’t one of the magical girls a real gorilla?! Anyway, Hacka Dolls wait at the river bank and the motley monster crew shows up. Time to get into action. However #1 is just so freaking weak! Yeah, the boys watching them aren’t impressed. Do better! #2 gets tentacle raped by the squid and #3 facing off with a couple of gas mask hentai dudes. That is when #4 pops up claiming she is the saviour, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, she is relieving some movie hero who got hospitalized. #4 turns into a giant to send her friends and goes packing. Even destroying the town in the process! Because of that, the people are mad and take her away to do repairs. #1 is shocked to hear the monsters just want to keep the town clean and safe for children. But those damn violent magical girls always beat them up for no reason. Hacka Dolls realize they aren’t the bad guys so they agree to help make this town a better place. And so they did and even hold a special wrestling match!

Episode 13
Ayame invites her friend to Comiket but is told off to grow up and think about her future. Poor Ayame. She is depressed and rips all her otaku posters from her wall! Hacka Dolls are here to bug help her doujin for the Comiket but Ayame tells them to scram because she has thrown away it all. #1 continues to pester her and won’t give up so I guess what else is there for Ayame to do but to allow Hacka Dolls to help. On the first day, it seems Comiket turned into some Mad Max convention?! WTF?! Madness! Chaos! #0 has had it with them and scraps #2 and #3. This makes #1 mad so she powers up. Your much obliged epic anime battle between #0 and #1. Heck, #0 even uses #4 as a shield! Why do I not pity her? After killing off #4, #1 gets mad and turns Super Saiyan. Enough power to blast away #0! With her intense feelings, #1 manages to resurrect everyone and turn everything back to normal. Ultimate f*kery because this is all just #1’s dream!!! WTF???!!! Hacka Dolls are with Ayame at Comiket and the latter admits that they have advanced her a lot with her doujin. She hopes they will help others. Look out, world! Here they come! I mean, really look out!

What The Heck-a Duds!
Oh sh*t… Now I can see why Hacka Dolls are not mass produced in our society and we’re still stuck with Siri and/or Alexa!!! Goddamn it! No wonder humans couldn’t advance much! But as proof that Hacka Dolls are not completely 100% failures, I guess the last episode provided the very much needed ‘helpful review’ that they are indeed helping to advance us humans in a way. Well, 1 success for every 100 failures, that is! Hahaha! Hey, got to look on the bright side. Considering these Hacka Dolls that we are talking about, that’s not bad entirely. So who is the next unfortunate chap who needs their help? Remember, assuming every 100 failures will at least turn out 1 success. Uh huh. It’s like playing lottery with these Hacka Dolls… Because sometimes it feels like the whole mission is to help advance these Hacka Dolls rather than humanity. I know that’s the initial reason, that’s why it feels ironic.

There isn’t any real plot or story to follow here except the shenanigans and the misadventures of the Hacka Doll trio. Hence every episode feels very random and is independent of each other and can standalone by itself. Thus you don’t have to worry about any sort of continuity here and you can watch them in any order you like. Like that would make any difference for those who are so concerned about continuity but you should have known better when you decided to watch this short in the first place. Anyway, the short skits are meant to make us laugh and they did that quite well. So we’ve parodied almost every clichéd setting that we can think of. Oh dear. Where’s the high school setting?! Aren’t there any high school kids who need help in their exams or some student council president who is swamped with work for the cultural festival who needs their help?! No? Wow. Being a Japanese high school kid is sure problem free. At least from the problems of modern day society. I think.

In order for the series to be this funny and enjoyable, hence the only way is to make our dumb main trio of Hacka Dolls as useless as possible. Because only then when they are this clumsy and hopeless, that is where everything goes haywire. And the irony is that because they make us laugh so hard at their failures, I guess they aren’t all that useless after all. Do you not agree with me?! Imagine if the trio suddenly become useful Hacka Dolls like their other counterparts that we have never seen. FREAKING BORING! Hence it is that dilemma if we really want them to become proper and useful Hacka Dolls because at this point, we really love them for being this useless as that kind of personality has become their charm that we have come to love. So stay defective as always! You might not be helping those you are helping directly. But for the rest of us who are watching you and laughing our asses off with your incompetence, there, you did something good. Thank goodness so far only they are the known defective Hacka Dolls because imagine if the rest are like them, it would have been the fall of humanity! Mankind will regress many centuries by their own creation and invention! Seriously.

The main Hacka Doll trio are lovable in their own right although their characters feel cliché. Like #1 who is spunky and energetic, all ready to go and help without a doubt. Positivism is her greatest strength but that doesn’t necessarily translate into success. Oh well, try harder. AGAIN! Because she doesn’t give up (or maybe doesn’t know when to give up), you could say her persistence somewhat pays off. Then you have #2 who is a bit calmer but her main purpose is to be the fanservice character because of her huge racks. Yeah, we obviously notice in some scenes she gets into ambiguous situations just because the need of fanservice. Then there is #3 who looks like a sleepy and lethargic one but comes to life when something that shares her interests appears. I am still unsure if she is actually a boy because it is also part of her trope as an otokonoko (basically a male girl or a trans). I still won’t accept that! Even if they remain useless, but hey, at least you can’t hate them for being enthusiastic and see they get the job done! Now that’s the spirit!

If you think the trio are bad enough, wait till you see #4. Actually, she is far worse than them. She is arrogant, cocky and selfish to boot. More than often, she is often displayed as going against the main trio for whatever stupid reasons. Karma being a big b*tch, you bet #4 will eventually bear the brunt of it as she gets a taste of her own medicine, humble pie and just desserts. And she never learns. She is the ultimate bug and defective Hacka Doll if you ask me. I don’t think they intend to make #4 to be a despicable character (read: comic relief character) that we would love to hate but it makes you want to just cheer for the main trio instead of this b*tch. So #4, never change. So we can also laugh harder at your failures!

Last but not least, their boss #0 must be having a major headache trying to deal with them. I have a feeling she has a soft spot for them like us because otherwise in this competitive and information flooded world, she would have scrapped them for being inefficient all the time. But as I have said regarding Hacka Dolls failing, it is not always every time and there are some cases where I consider them to ‘succeed’ (in the loosest form) like that fan who managed to buy and present his present to his favourite seiyuu as well as assisting alien girl to return home and helping the monsters to clean up and protect the city. Not so defective after all, eh?

Art and animation are okay. Pretty decent and standard so it is nothing much to shout about for a short anime series. And of course, the Hacka Dolls are designed in cute and beautiful girls because do you want to see big burly men as your Hacka Dolls?! Hacka Dudes, NO WAY!!! Done by Creators In Pack who are masters in doing short anime shows like Danchigai, Military, Ojisan To Marshmallow, Netsuzou Trap and Osake Wa Fuufu Ni Natte Kara.

Voice acting is pretty okay. The seiyuus did a decent job in portraying and giving life to their respective characters. Miyu Takagi as #1 (Miyu in Wake Up Girls), Kaya Okuno as #2 (Kaya in Wake Up Girls), Nanami Yamashita as #3 (Nanami in Wake Up Girls), Reina Ueda as #4 (Akane in SSSS.Gridman) and Ryouka Yuzuki as #0 (Satsuki in Kill La Kill). Due to the episodic nature of this series, there are a bunch of other seiyuus making their cameo just for a single episode. Unfortunately though, none whom I really recognized.

Both the opening and main ending theme are sung by the main Hacka Doll trio. The opener is Touch Tap Baby, your typical manufactured genki anime pop while the ending is Happy Days Refrain, your typical genki synthesizer special effects filled song that you can dance along to. If you can stomach the weird CGI of the girls dancing in the credits, that is. Nowhere near Hatsune Miku’s level but whatever. Yeah, I still prefer their 2D animation… If group dancing isn’t your cup of tea, later in the second half there will be individual solo songs and dancing. Don’t mind the weird CGI animation again. These character songs reflect their character such as Progress Push Doll by #1 is a fast paced dancing song with a pinch of Chinese element in it, Reflect Realist Doll by #2 is more of rock based and Hazy Lazy Doll by #3 is personally my favourite because perhaps it sounds so closely to Bakemonogatari’s Renai Circulation. It’s like a sister clone of it. Did they steal and modify this theme?! Anyway it is quite catchy to listen to. And the worse one… THAT FREAKING CABBAGE SONG!!! MY EARS!!!

Overall, this is quite a funny and enjoyable short that will make your day even if it doesn’t solve all the problems at hand or advance humanity. Well, at least they get the job done by making you laugh and blowing away the blues. And with cute girls doing it, are you not satisfied?! Hence these Hacka Dolls may not be able to help us humans with difficult problems and that’s why the initial problem of labelling them as useless. To quote Einstein’s saying: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. It cannot be truer for our Hacka Dolls here. Hence they should’ve been more successful as clowns or manzai comedians! Just like humans, you need the right Hacka Doll for the right job. They can do multi-tasking and better at most stuffs we humans do. But remember, they’re not God so don’t expect miracles. After all, Hacka Dolls who are made by humans are going to be as smart and intelligent as their creators. Just saying. And that goes for Siri and Alexa too…

Deca-Dence

Somehow I first thought Deca-Dence was going to be the next Shingeki No Kyojin or at least a big spoof of it. Because at first looks the general synopsis tells us about humans who are driven to the brink of extinction, the survivors are living in a mobile fortress while fighting and defending themselves against giant bug monsters. But that’s so much about it. Once you get to know the true stuffs, it diverges a lot from Shingeki No Kyojin. But I still can’t help wonder, because this series was an original anime and not based on any manga or game, I can’t help wonder if the creators based this series on that idea. Maybe it’s just me thinking too much because you know, the hype of anticipating the final season of Shingeki No Kyojin is never ever so high! Oh right. Let’s get back to Deca-Dence shall we?

Episode 1
When Natsume was young, she snuck out to go discover the outside world with her father. However a monster attacked and though they run, their crew took a massive damage. Though, Natsume was rushed to the hospital. Good news: She lost only her right arm. Bad news: Uhm, let’s say that was the last time she saw her father. Time for textbook narration of the setting of this world. Monster known as Gadolls suddenly appeared and destroyed 90% of humanity. Gears are anti-Gadoll soldiers under Power, helped humanity create a huge mobile fortress known as Deca-Dence. Using the energy source from Gadolls known as oxyone (basically their blood), this allows humanity to live life peacefully in Deca-Dence. Natsume and Fei are classified as Tankers, those who support Gears so they can focus solely on fighting. However Natsume’s enlistment as one hits a snag when she is not listed at all. While she isn’t too happy about it, this only gives her b*tch rival, Linmei to just ramp up the b*tching and mockery. Eventually, Natsume ends up in the armour repair section under the guidance of taciturn Kaburagi. Well, as a rookie, she has to clean off corpses and mucus from Gadolls stuck on Deca-Dence’s walls! Eww! So suck it up and start cleaning! One day, on a pretence to return Kaburagi’s lost item, this is so she can throw a welcoming party at his place? Oh well. Better than nothing. So she talks about her dreams of becoming a soldier but he pours cold water on it and believes it is better to stay safe rather than going outside to die. In short, don’t have any ambitions. They are distracted when Kaburagi’s hidden pet shows up. Isn’t this a Gadoll?! But this cute little thing isn’t like other violent monsters. Aww… So cute! Yeah, Natsume decides to call it Pipe. Next day as they resume their cleaning job, Natsume has given a lot of thought about his no ambitions statement. That’s like being dead to her. The alert sounds because a huge mother Gadoll is sighted. Commander Minato orders the Gears to take out the minor ones. Among the top Gears is Kurenai. Hack and slash monsters while stealing their oxyone. During that, some accident happens as Kaburagi and Natsume fall off. Kaburagi steals the gears of a dead soldier, hooks Natsume with him as he goes around killing Gadolls like a pro! As for the big mother, when Deca-Dence is within distance, cables are shot into it to suck its oxyone that is in turn used as fuel to power up some very elaborated cannon. So this cannon is actually a huge punching glove???!!! COOL!!! It packs quite a punch since the Gadoll is shredded to pieces!

Episode 2
In the aftermath of the fight, there are a few dead soldiers as the survivors pay their last respects. Kaburagi again reminds Natsume, does she still want to be a soldier? Suddenly we are now in a world with chibi robots?! Apparently despite not a virtual world, it is a real world adventure game in which these robots can take up human avatars known as Gears and fight Gadolls. They can gain experience and rank up to be a top player. Flashback 7 years ago, Kaburagi was in a top tier ranking team that including the top player, Donatello. There is a new kid on the block, Mikey who got curious about this limiter release thingy. Supposedly whatever damage you receive in the game will affect you in real life but in exchange you may gain some stats in real life too. This is illegal and is amounting to cheating so none of the top players are using it. Mikey has been steadily ranking up but one day he felt stagnant. So he sought Kaburagi’s advice about the limiter release. After lots of begging and his fear of not wanting to become replaceable, Kaburagi gives in. However Mikey has been caught by Hugin who is the game’s regulatory watchdog. Kaburagi is soon brought to face Hugin and told that Mikey has been scrapped for his illegal act. Hugin has also disbanded the top ranker team as the system deemed this as bug. Hence Kaburagi will now work for them. By day he is an armour repairer and by night a recovery agent. By that he means, finding and reporting those humans without troublesome behaviour AKA bugs. As bugs are dangerous, they must all be eliminated. Hugin learns that Donatello and friends have been sent to the rehabilitation facility because they refused to cooperate. Kaburagi doesn’t want to stir the hornet’s nest and agrees to become their agent. With Natsume still begging Kaburagi to fight, he continues to dismiss her. She threatens to reveal about Pipe but he doesn’t care. Backfired. One night, Natsume catches Kaburagi doing his agent recover thingy. However she thought he was stealing money and is willing to give her pennies just for him to stop. He can’t stop laughing at this broke girl. Yeah, he might have broken her too. However when Kaburagi tries to process her, it seems her data cannot be found. Further search shows that she is already dead! This means she is not in the system. Now Natsume is all smiling because looks like Kaburagi changed his mind and will teach her how to fight as he brings her to the Gears’ base. He notes that she might be a bug and has no value in this world but at that moment she definitely saved him.

Episode 3
Kaburagi researches further. When Natsume was rushed to hospital, her heart stopped once but the medics were able to revive her. It was that moment her chip malfunctioned and hence she is considered dead. The best way to train is to do some real fighting. Kaburagi demonstrates the use of the barrier, tank and needle to drain the Gadoll of their oxyone. This is just tutorial level Gadoll. So go get them, girl! The first step is always the hardest but with Kaburagi’s guidance and Natsume persevering, looks like she’s getting the hang of it. Out of the blue, Hugin contacts Kaburagi because he hasn’t been reporting for quite a while. He finds it suspicious there are no bugs in his area although Kaburagi maintains his lie that there aren’t. More flashback about the state of the world. When air pollution rendered the planet inhabitable, an alien ship and company known Solid Quake came to humanity’s rescue. They developed this Deca-Dence game and in order for humans not to repeat this mistake, they introduced an independent all-governing system to make all decisions. Natsume has this idea to dress Pipe up so it can go out without raising suspicions. That’s not going to- Oh sh*t, it works?! But Natsume knows a pressing problem. Because of her right mechanical hand, she cannot use the lever or weapon efficiently. It is those matter of seconds that determine life or death when fighting Gadolls. Hence Kaburagi takes her to some shady part of town to give her a hand upgrade! With better parts, it is also now an awesome weapon. On another out for training, suddenly the Gadoll alert is raised. This time the attack comes from underground so it grinds Deca-Dence to a halt. But big trouble for Kaburagi as Pipe gets lost so he seeks Minato’s help. His flashback shows how he met Pipe when it was stuck inside a corpse while cleaning the walls. Because of how retarded it is, he didn’t think it was a threat. So he bought a place just to give Pipe a new home.

Episode 4
Natsume gets scared after seeing a few Gears get killed. But after remembering Kaburagi’s lessons, she starts killing like a pro! This helps Kaburagi secure Pipe. When a strong Gadoll seemingly attacks Deca-Dence directly, thanks to Kurenai and her strong warriors, they diffuse the threat. Kurenai then praises Natsume for her skills. Everyone is shocked to learn she isn’t part of any unit. Kurenai wants her to join Power. Natsume so happy her dreams have come true that she thanks Kaburagi. Kurenai flusters upon seeing that guy. It seems the Gadoll’s main nest have been found. Located at what is believed to be Mt Everest, it will be the biggest Gadoll hunt ever and this could end the war. As Kurenai briefs her warriors on it, Minato is seen praising Kaburagi for his skills. He is thinking of him making a comeback since it’s about time. Kaburagi doesn’t feel quite right since the ranking system is gone. Minato then tells him a secret not many knows. The next mission is impossible to clear. In fact many Gears will die. Deca-Dence will fall into despair and that is when the return of the legendary rankers will reappear to give hope. Kaburagi will be part of that group. Natsume is put under the care of triplets Mindy, Mundy and Mendy. Natsume tries to talk to Fei but looks like she doesn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore because she never listens. So she’s now part of Linmei’s groupie? Natsume is surprised that Kaburagi is at her doorstep. He tries to tell her to not take part in this mission because she’ll die. She remains stubborn that she wants to do it so he breaks her equipment. Now Natsume goes talk to Kurenai. She can tell she wants to pull out. She is okay if it is her decision. She also asks why she fights. For Kurenai, it is of course to get Kaburagi’s heart. She feels alive when fighting outside rather than being stuck safely inside here. Natsume thinks back about her dad introducing this world to her, as well as all the other pessimistic comments others told her. Now she changes her mind. She tells Kurenai that her reason to fight is not to change the world but herself. So I take she’s back in the mission. Minutes before the big mission starts, Kaburagi is shocked to see Natsume preparing to head out with the rest on this big mission.

Episode 5
The big fight starts. Natsume’s group enters the nest where the Gadoll alpha is. They see all the Gears dead! They fight this alpha and it is no ordinary one. It is fast, strong and smart! Natsume doesn’t want to retreat and fights it. Unfortunately, Mindy pays the price as she gets killed while protecting her. So she’s tired of seeing kids die? So the anger makes Natsume fight better? To her horror, this smart alpha takes out the needles draining its oxyone and throws it back at her. But that’s cue for Kaburagi to come to her rescue. He puts up a decent fight but it is just enough to get Natsume out. He says he can’t defeat that Gadoll but Natsume is adamant to go back to rescue her comrades. This fervour has Kaburagi remember the same as Mikey had. Kaburagi fights the alpha to let Natsume and her comrades escape to safety. Against Minato’s orders, Kaburagi continues fighting it even if this will change the storyline. Eventually Kaburagi puts up a gallant fight and kills it. Hooray, right? Now here’s the storyline change risk. A freaking huge Gadoll mother pops up and attacks everyone. Can’t cancel this event. More bodies piling up. Minato tries to hurry up activating the cannon and better hurry as this Gadoll can fire a more devastating cannon and its recharging time is shorter. Thankfully with Kaburagi cutting off a leg to make it lose its balance, Deca-Dence is able to activate its cannon and punch a good one in the Gadoll’s face! Hooray! We did it! We saved the world! It’s peace and freedom from now on, right?! Only, it’s like the next stage is activated and more big ass mother Gadoll pop up. Oh sh*t. Despair or fun? The former for Natsume. She thinks Kaburagi knows this but looks like something is wrong when he tells her to take care of Pipe. Because he goes to see Hugin and is prepared for his punishment. This time Kaburagi dares to say that bugs are necessary in this world so Hugin shoots him with his crow?!

Episode 6
Kaburagi is captured and since he doesn’t regret his actions, Hugin realizes he has become a bug himself. He is supposed to be scrapped but looks like something intervened and it is decided that Kaburagi will be sent to the bug rehabilitation facility. With all the disgruntled bugs, their job is to scoop Gadoll poo, chop them into small pieces and dump them into the mixer that serves as renewable energy for the system. Complain as you want, just be careful not to be crushed by the falling poo! Despite all the stink, Kaburagi works hard and this catches the eye of a veteran, Sarkozy. Because Kaburagi thinks he can work his way out, Sarkozy has to tell him the truth that all that is a lie and nobody is getting out here. The system will work you till you’re broken. Also, nobody can escape since this facility is located at the bottom of the lake and the water pressure will crush if in the event if you manage to get out. However Kaburagi continues to persevere. He is pushing his limits because if he gives up now, a certain Tanker will be mad at him. Sarkozy then lets him in on a secret that ever since that storyline changing event, the world has been peaceful and no Gadoll attacks. How does he know? Some of them here can log into Deca-Dence! Kaburagi wants to meet those guys and he is brought to the ring leader who is no other than Donatello. He is of course still not pleased with Kaburagi’s betrayal although Kaburagi plays it down all that he is no longer the system’s dog and is a bug like him. Everyone laughs at him when he says he wants to log into to contact a certain tanker and will do anything. Hence they initiate a death dive game. Kaburagi will fight Donatello over the mixer. The one who falls in loses. It’s a close fight but with Kaburagi getting the better by pulling off Donatello’s hairpiece (?!), Donatello decides to take him down with him and drags Kaburagi to the bottom. Surprisingly, Kaburagi uses his boosters to get them both out. Turkey thought he cheated and wants to get back at him but Donatello warns him not to embarrass his honour anymore. Seeing Kaburagi’s resolve, Donatello lets Kaburagi use the machine to log into Deca-Dence. Of course he has to start a new game with a totally new character.

Episode 7
Creating a new avatar, the moment he returns to Deca-Dence, it seems there is a Gadoll attack. Wait. I thought it was peaceful? I guess the admins need to ramp up the story. Now there is a hole in the wall and as the Gears fight to keep them out, some slip through. As expected, chaos descends as the people inside panic and some casualties mount. Luckily Kaburagi is here to do some ass kicking although this avatar isn’t good enough. Natsume handles the rest, though. Later Kaburagi talks to Minato about this. Seems this is all part of the plan to kill off some Tankers as their numbers have grown. Minato warns him not to make his position worse than before. If it reaches that, he can’t help him anymore. With shortage of material and manpower, the Gears are in a dilemma on how to patch up the hole. Natsume suggests getting some materials from Tankers. The rest doesn’t think it is possible as it would be hard to get their cooperation. Natsume remains positive and will go ask for help. However they turn her down since they’re busy and they’re already doing what they can. Don’t ask for the impossible. Even when she talks to Fei about it, she remains pessimistic. Not everyone can change and be positive like Natsume. Fei believes herself to be weak and doesn’t want to be strong like Natsume. Isn’t living a peaceful life not enough for her? Natsume returns emptyhanded but by that time the Gears have also done their part in helping. Good timing because all those who initially rejected Natsume changed their mind and help contribute. Including Fei. You people are so fickle minded. Patching gets underway although it will take some time. Kaburagi talks to Natsume but she doesn’t recognize him and keeps her distance. Until he claims he knows about this guy and the way Pipe reacts to him, Natsume is willing to hear him out. Kaburagi praises Natsume for what she did. If it was him, he would’ve given up. Natsume then makes a teary statement of how she wants to be strong but is still weak. Because Kaburagi might never come back and peace will never materialize, that’s why she pushes herself to the limit and be more useful. This only strives to make Kaburagi more determined to destroy the system. He returns and talks to Donatello about his plan to destroy the Gadoll factory.

Episode 8
Everyone laughs at Kaburagi’s idea but of course Donatello who is only thinking of having fun agrees to it. Jill has to rain on everyone’s parade that even if one way is to log into Deca-Dence (instead of escaping this place), the factory is heavily guarded because those with chips who walk into the vicinity will be immediately go offline. However Kaburagi knows there is an avatar that doesn’t have a chip and not disposed of yet: His original avatar. Knowing Minato’s habit, he is keeping it somewhere. They just need to know where it is hidden. After Jill hacks into Minato’s system, Hugin summons Minato because there has been a suspicious log of him keeping something suspicious. Jill brings the guys to the avatar storage system. They have to find Kaburagi’s original avatar here. As they search, it seems Hugin is making Minato do the same. Sarkozy nearly screws up so this has Hugin go to investigate some strange noise. Luckily Turkey knocks Sarkozy out so nothing happens. Now Kaburagi has to quickly intercept the box carrying his avatar before Hugin returns. Minato opens the box and the suspicious thing he is hiding… Uhm, what pleasure tool is this?! At least he is no longer under suspicion. Now that Kaburagi has his avatar, he still needs another person to help him. He has Natsume in mind and goes to see her. Don’t creep up on her or she’ll punch you thinking you’re a pervert! She is glad to see him as he explains his plans to destroy the factory. But they can’t risk lives of others so it’ll be just them. You bet Natsume is going to help. Donatello summons the rest of his men to rally them to destroy the factory. They don’t seem too keen on it until Jill explains the poo they process is actually turned into oxyone that feeds them! So basically they’re pieces of sh*t running on sh*t power. You bet everyone is mad and hyped up to go destroy the factory. Kaburagi is summoned by Minato and knows that pleasure tool is his doing. When he learns about Kaburagi’s plan, Minato doesn’t agree to destroy the system because it will mean chaos. Kaburagi wants to free everyone since they’re doing nothing but obeying the system’s orders. Those who don’t are deemed bugs. Minato is still against this so Kaburagi asks him if saving him was part of system’s orders. In the end, Minato won’t fight with him. Will he report Kaburagi to the system? All Minato can say is, all he wants is to fight alongside Kaburagi like old times. Meanwhile Turkey tries to convince Sarkozy to betray Kaburagi since this mission is doomed to fail anyway. They’re going to save their comrades and they’ll be heroes. Sounds good, right?

Episode 9
While the Gears fight Gadoll, Kaburagi and Natsume drive out towards the factory. Once inside, they must activate GGS (Gadoll Genocide System) to destroy all Gadolls. Damn, such self-destruct convenience exist?! Meanwhile, Turkey initiates the rest to burn all the poo. This in turn releases toxic and smelly fumes that flow through the facility and the water ways, affecting the Gadolls and making them initiate their zone. With the chaos all around, Kaburagi and Natsume are able to sneak in easily. However it seems Hugin is expecting their arrival and attacks them. The rebels are ready to fight more when suddenly reinforcement security show up and start killing them! Yeah, just block their nose to avoid smelling! Sarkozy panics as this isn’t what he wanted. Turkey blames him for doing the reporting but assures he is doing the right thing. Part of their betrayal is to lead security to the login device that Kaburagi is using. Jill realizes this betrayal so she forces Donatello to log out from his fun to go take care of the security. Or else! Kaburagi gets owned by Hugin and Natsume gets killed?! Thankfully, just an illusion because Jill managed to hack and mess with Hugin’s vision to stall for time. Donatello destroys the security and confronts Turkey who admits he was the one who tipped off Hugin. Donatello doesn’t care about betrayals as long as he has fun. After destroying all the security, Turkey tries to escape. Sarkozy is injured and needs Turkey’s help. Of course Turkey abandons him. At a loss, Sarkozy remembers Kaburagi’s words of pushing oneself to the limits. Turkey tries to attack Donatello but is no match. Because Turkey prefers the old order, Donatello throws him into mixer with all the sh*t. Sarkozy then turns himself into a fiery bomb and jumps into the mixer to go out with a bang. The explosion rips through the facility. The flooding is what allows Kaburagi to escape Hugin’s wrath. Kaburagi and Natsume then activate GGS. And just like that, all the Gadolls disappear. Natsume is in shock over everything. What is all this. Kaburagi reveals that Gadolls and even this body of his are all manufactured.

Episode 10
Kaburagi can save his breath explaining the truth since Natsume passes out. She wakes up along the way as he takes her back to Deca-Dence. She is reeling from the truth’s shock. She wants to tell others but Kaburagi says she can’t. Remember her father? Humans who get too close to the truth will be considered a bug and scrapped. That’s what happened to him. It’s like Natsume became disappointed. Had she knew the truth, she wouldn’t have wanted such change and for things to remain the same. In hindsight, wasn’t it Natsume who bugged Kaburagi for everything? Sure, he didn’t tell her the truth but at such circumstances, could he? So I think it’s unfair if she is blaming it all on him. It is obvious that Natsume sinks into depression back on Deca-Dence. Kurenai talks to her and since Natsume has seen and heard what she did, opinions of others don’t really matter. Meanwhile Hugin is looking for Natsume and since the system cannot detect her, he has to use an unconventional method. Kaburagi returns home to write a reply letter to Natsume (sad, Pipe’s gone too) and has to log out soon because security reinforcements are here. Luckily the survivors are smart enough to dump poo on them before making their big escape. Natsume reads Kaburagi’s letter. He regretted not telling her the truth as well as the rules he had to follow just to live. Thanks to her, he decided to live and destroy the rules of this world. So Natsume feeling madder? Because Kaburagi sees Natsume’s name popping up as a wanted bug, he has Jill quickly log him into his avatar. Great timing because Natsume is here to speak to him. Apparently she’s not happy he is trying to run away again. Despite living in deceit for a long time, the times she spent with him were real. So if he wants to destroy the system, count her in. Suddenly Kaburagi is killed! Oh sh*t! Hugin has found them. But here’s another problem looming. A lone Gadoll survivor that hatched himself from a dead human has been eating corpses and growing huge. Looks like it is on a rampage now.

Episode 11
Before Hugin could kill Natsume, somebody kills him. It is Kaburagi using his other avatar. At first she finds it hard to believe it is him but after remembering about what he said about everything here is manufactured, it’s a good thing she can accept it now. Because no time to waste. The stray Gadoll is about to attack Deca-Dence. Even after activating and punching the cannon… The Gadoll is too strong and damages Deca-Dence. Plus, it evolves again right in their very eyes as it shoots a beam right up to their mothership in space! They’re lucky it just grazes the ship. Even luckier for now, the Gadoll is asleep regenerating. At this point with Deca-Dence taking too much damage, an alert has been given that all services on Deca-Dence will be shut down. Basically, everyone abandon Deca-Dence and to log out. Minato tries to warn Kaburagi about this but Jill intercepts and tells them a possible way and that is to hack and control Deca-Dence itself. She knows it because she was one of the original staffs who designed the core. Kaburagi will do it because Deca-Dence despite its damaged state is the only thing they have to take down the Gadoll. Better be quick since the Gadoll has spawned little ugly critters! I guess this is the action those Gears need. Kaburagi has Jill tinker with his system so he could connect to Deca-Dence. Then he drives the way into that fortress. Meanwhile Natsume stumbles into Jill’s group. She is first shocked at the real appearances of Gears but since they are Kaburagi’s friends, they are also her friends. Yeah, nothing at this point can shock her anymore. Once Kaburagi is in the core room, Minato is waiting and trying to convince him to escape. He thinks they Kaburagi has no chance and will die for nothing. They’ll think of something if the escape. But Kaburagi can’t. Even if this is wrong, that’s what makes it right. Say what?! Minato is angry because he is so calm but himself is confused and at a lost. However Kaburagi has calculated Minato to be here to help him connect to the system so there’s his role. With that, Minato does his part as Kaburagi gets ready to reactivate Deca-Dence.

Episode 12
And… Nothing happens! Since Natsume is still wrapping her head around Kaburagi’s form, Jill explains Kaburagi is now Deca-Dence. Kabu-Dence now. Is she making a joke?! When Natsume suggests making weapons for Kaburagi, that is when Jill hits an idea and relays it to Minato who in turn tells all the Gears for their final mission to gather all the broken parts of Deca-Dence all over and filling it with oxyone. This final mission excites many and against orders, they log in just to have their final play of the game. Meanwhile Kaburagi is faced with what is the system admin. She explains bugs are actually allowed because it allows their termination. Some sort of twisted symbiotic relationship, I guess. And something about how every event is just a major upgrade and hence whatever Kaburagi tries to struggle through, it is futile. But he begs to differ. The system won’t save anyone and just response to the outcome of event. He is going to show it to her despite admin being adamant he will die anyway. Hence he is given control of Deca-Dence as it now truly activates. Yeah, Natsume banging the walls and screaming won’t do anything but for dramatic effect it made her look like she did. Yeah, she broke her hand too! Looks like Gadoll has awakened and ready to fire. They won’t make it but Donatello does kamikaze right into the Gadoll to deflect is shot. Don’t worry, only his avatar died. Now all the parts have gathered, Deca-Dence fires all its got into the Gadoll. Still alive? But they’ve run out of oxyone. Flashes of Natsume’s various faces go through Kaburagi’s mind. So what power does he unlock? I don’t where he get that extra power but it packs a punch to finally defeat the big mother. With that, Deca-Dence has gone overload and collapses. I guess that’s it for Kaburagi, huh? System offline… Natsume manages to find Kaburagi’s body and says what she needs to say before the power goes off forever… :’(. 3 years later, we see a totally new reality simulation. What’s left of Deca-Dence is now turned into some bustling city and you can do all sorts of activities. Damn, SimCity?! DecaCity! And Gadolls now are also super friendly?! Minato is super admin while Jill handles the data. She notices one whereby she backed up Kaburagi’s data when she was upgrading him. You thinking what I’m thinking? Natsume is some tour guide but someone familiar in the horizon approaches her. I think we all know who it is seeing she’s starting to well up.

Saved By The Bug
So did Deca-Dence experienced the biggest upgrade ever? Well, whatever the new realty or game or life both humans and Gears are seemingly enjoying now, it must be good. Because nobody is asking to quickly hit the ‘go back’ button! But the best upgrade ever is to be freed from the system so I suppose everybody is free now. Yeah, if we can still stop receiving those damn Windows upgrades from time to time! I don’t know if the final scene is meant to give this series some happy ending because it felt convenient that Kaburagi got revived. Assuming that’s that. So where did they find a body exactly like the old Kaburagi? I don’t think he got reborn so it’s just a bit mind boggling and curious. Oh well. Just when I thought Kaburagi died a bug and became a God, looks like he came back so that Natsume could be an even happier Natsume. How convenient it is to be a cyborg. Just copy and paste your conscience/programme, that’s it. Assuming that’s that since the final scene was left with enough ambiguity for us to reach such conclusion but at the same time draw our own. Yeah, that guy who looked like Kaburagi may be Natsume’s dad! Yeah, that’s one too far of a stretch.

Story feels a bit confusing at first especially with the plot twist coming very early in the series. So for the most part, you’ll be wondering if Deca-Dence is real or just made up. Then it turns out to be one big manufactured real time RPG because, what else is there to do in life? Once you sorted that truth out, then the story takes on another direction into destroying the system. Because apparently bugs are defined by the system as something bad and they can’t have it. That’s why it takes a bug to take down the entire system that was created to destroy all bugs in the first place. I know it sounds a bit confusing at this point too but essentially if you just think of people who have seen the dark side of the establishment and are trying to rebel and destroy it, this type of plot is pretty common and cliché in many other shows we have seen in the past. And what’s this contradiction that bugs are allowed by the system anyway? Oh, superhero quote: You die a hero or live long enough to see yourself to become the villain. Rinse and repeat. So when will Minato become a crazy megalomaniac admin? Well, we know perhaps Kaburagi is the only guy who can take him down. And upgrade version I definitely don’t want to see.

There is potential in the concept in the sense that everything that we have seen here are actually manufactured. Everyone else who are bound by the rules of the system are made to believe that everything is real and it is all part of life. The freedom you think you have is fake. It begs the question of control and free will. Whether it is right for others to live their lives are per instructed by authorities or take responsibility in finding your own path with the true freedom that you are given. It is a scary thought how this actually mirrors real life, especially how 2020 played out to utmost similarity in certain parts of the world. Isn’t it aptly named how humans who prefer to follow blindly the system are edging towards decadence? Feels like a downgrade. Here people, an event for you to kill Gadoll and level up your experience points. Yahoo! Are you not satisfied with that? And all those who do not follow the system are bugs and hence must be rid of. Unfortunately you just can’t develop and lump everything into 1 category. Because even if there are bad bugs, there are good bugs too. Like, those bacteria in your guts, just saying… But since this anime as said is original, I have got to give them points for trying even if all that could be better. Yeah, they should just hire me to be the writer… No way! I prefer my ‘job’ of watching and criticizing works of others!

One of the most jarring things that would have probably confused us a lot at first is the design of the actual Gears’ appearance. In short, they look so cartoonish! I mean, we started out as that cool edgy dystopian like anime style animation and art. And then suddenly… WTF these cute colourful cartoonish robots?! WTF???!!! You bet many are going to be confused what’s going on. Just like yours truly. At first it was really weird to see both style of animations together. Like as though putting together live action scenes with animated cartoon scenes like Roger Rabbit or something. Eventually you’ll get used to it otherwise you’ll forever be stuck in confusion land.

The only characters that really matter are just Kaburagi and Natsume. The interaction and dynamism between them helps drive the story and offer something more than just bloodthirsty and action crazy Gears trying to kill Gadolls. It can be greatly said that Kaburagi and Natsume both drive and depend on each other to get where they are today. Had these 2 not met, Kaburagi would’ve still been stuck in his dead end recovery agent job, waiting for the day he will be scrapped himself. On the other hand, Natsume might have never gotten the chance to change herself and could’ve just been like her other fellow Tankers living a relatively safe and boring life. So we see them draw strength and inspiration from each other to get motivation to fight the system and Gadolls, propelling them to legendary bug status that not even the system can handle and resolve. Kaburagi went on to defy the odds to even take down the Gadoll factory and became connected to the Deca-Dence system to defy the system while Natsume continues to sprout as an impressive fighter and her own independent girl.

Though, I was a bit bugged when Natsume became disillusioned when she found out about the truth. The truth was something Kaburagi tried to protect her from in fear she wouldn’t handle it and true enough she couldn’t. I mean, it’s not like Kaburagi lied to her or anything. I guess that’s why people prefer the comforting lies. Took her a while to realize that the times spent with Kaburagi are real just to overcome this. But being with Kaburagi for so long, I would’ve expected much better from her. Oh well, better late than never. And it is a good thing that even though Natsume changed a lot, her spunky and bubbly behaviour remained the same. I still prefer this Natsume than a gloomy one. After all, Kaburagi himself is already a gloomy fellow. Don’t want to have overlapping characters, do you?

Unfortunately other characters don’t really matter and don’t feel as significant as Kaburagi and Natsume. Like Hugin, I guess they needed some sort of antagonist in person as an obstacle to the duo. Natsume’s friends like Fei and Linmei are just forgettable because they never get out of their comfort zone and stayed the same unlike Natsume who took bold steps to try and change herself. Not even Pipe is memorable because it looks more like a retarded blob than a cute mascot. Thank goodness they killed it off, right? Kurenai is another human whom Natsume can look up to and fill the void if Kaburagi isn’t around. Kurenai’s love for Kaburagi just feels like for distraction and like as though if they needed to play up this area in the future, maybe they have some story going in for it. So far none. Jill is some hacking nerd if the plot ever needs some sort of convenient hacking and Donatello the big guy who just wants to have fun. Minato feels like he has some sort of weird friendship problem with Kaburagi. It’s like he wants to get back to the old ways with him but fears of becoming a bug himself. That’s why all those subtle and secret hints to him in hopes to keep Kaburagi safe but all fallen on deaf ears. Eventually friendship > the system.

The action parts are quite satisfying and it is sometimes hard not to draw parallels with Shingeki No Kyojin. Instead of having 3DMD to fly about freely, hence this series have this weird bulky cauldron tank and some weird space for Gears to fight Gadolls in free flowing acrobat action. Instead of having swords, we have big giant iron straws to suck out the blood of Gadolls. I guess this is much lenient than having to slice a very specific part of a Titan to just effectively kill it! So yeah, the action sequences are bloody (there are deaths too but only to very unimportant characters that don’t matter) and over the top and sometimes feels too flashy especially the initial scenes of Deca-Dence turning into a giant boxing glove! Oh man, if you think the big mother Gadoll can go down with just a single punch like that, bear in mind that everything is manufactured so they might be programmed to go down with that single punch. Hey, you want big thrills and spills? Might as well go do it in a big fashion and style too.

Art and animation feel pretty standard. Like I’ve said a few paragraphs before, the jarring art style between the humans and original Gears may confuse a lot. In addition to that, Gears in their human avatars feel weird because of their coloured skin. I’m not trying to be racist! What I mean is that looking at them feels like they are characters taken from Marvel’s Guardian Of The Galaxy like Gamora, Nebula and Yondu. Get what I mean? CGI is also used but mainly for the big mother Gadoll. Not that bad and it is tolerable but I feel that it could have been better. Especially the final stray Gadoll. Like, did they ran out of budget or something? But generally, those smaller Gadoll types that the Gears normally engage in range more from hilarious to weirdly cute. Not even scary to be honest. Like as though they are rejected Pokemon designs and this is what they would turn out to be if their evolution wasn’t perfect. Yikes. Animated by Nut, whose only other series they have produced is Youjo Senki.

Voice acting is pretty okay. I recognized the voices of Eri Kitamura as Kurenai (I recently found out she also doubles as Pipe!), Takehito Koyasu as Hugin and Rikiya Koyama as Donatello. At first I thought Takahiro Sakurai was behind Minato’s voice but I was dead wrong. It’s Kousuke Toriumi (Nozel in Black Clover). The other casts are Katsuyuki Konishi as Kaburagi (Laxus in Fairy Tail), Tomori Kusunoki as Natsume (Melida in Assassins Pride), Michiyo Murase as Jill (Sucy in Little Witch Academia), Yutaka Aoyama as Turkey (Hannibal in Drifters), Yuuji Ueda as Sarkozy (Hajime in Jigoku Shoujo), Mei Shibata as Fei (China Riot in Bakugan Battle Planet) and Yoshino Aoyama as Linmei (Yoshino in Wake Up Girls). The opening theme, Theater Of Life by Konomi Suzuki is your typical generic lively rock piece to get you into the action paced feel of the series. Quite suitable for the series but not really my cup of tea. As for the ending theme, Kioku No Hakobune by Kashitaro Ito, also another rock outfit but to a slower beat. Sounds more like a song played for happy endings or victories and although it isn’t bad, again not up my alley.

Overall, this anime had potential from its concept, setting, characters and action bits. Many I read liked this series for all that and could be one of the better series of the season. For me, it was just pretty okay. A bit higher than passable but not averagely mediocre. Because I’m just a simpleton so delving too deep into the deeper aspects isn’t my forte like what many others saw. It is decently enjoyable and had its share of fun and funny moments, a good thing that didn’t make me censure harshly other sh*t animes of the same season but at the same time it is a bad thing because this series isn’t nowhere near a masterpiece in my books. Yeah, I know. Final season anticipation of Shingeki No Kyojin. Not sure if this was the bug in me that kept me from praising this series further. And of course, bugs are so necessary in this world because it reflects us as humans who are imperfect. We are humans because of those imperfections and it’s okay to be bugs. We’re not Gods. Just simple minded humans who just want to live and have fun while at it. And maybe it’s not a bug after all. Just a feature request…

P/S: It’s not an upgrade. It’s evolution!

Hametsu No Mars

Well, well, well. Just when I thought I had seen the worst anime ever in my life, it just goes to show that there are those that can do even worse. While randomly browsing through the internet because you know, what else should I be doing if I am not watching my usual animes, I stumbled into an old article claiming the worst animes ever in history. One of them being Hametsu No Mars AKA Destruction Of Mars. Because of its horror genre, I was reluctant to watch it. But reading those reviews how it was so bad that it was good, I had to go check it out. After all, it is only a single OVA episode that lasts only 19 minutes. Uh huh. I’ve got so much time to waste and spare in this Corona virus season.

Destruction of integrity…
We see a Mars expedition returning from its trip. As it is entering Earth’s atmosphere, something went wrong and the whole ship just blows up. Fast forward with an on screen post that tells us a few months have passed and something happened to Tokyo. They didn’t say what it is but we know it’s something bad. Real bad. Because now we see hot chicks trying to take down monsters known as Ancients. Yup, so badass these monsters, one of the girls’ head just explodes from their attack! Woah! You wonder why they don’t armour up and protect themselves like this dude, Takeru Hinata. Sure, his MARS armour may be more style than substance but at least it’s better than running around like that. Anyway, Takeru kills the Ancients but not before they deal some damage to him. Yeah, some armour that was. As Takeru lies in ICU, we see some flashback that Takeru was forced to join this task force and wear this armour. He really didn’t want to and accused dad of just wanting to show it off. But daddy tells him to STFU and wear it and that’s that. WTF… Fortunately, Takeru regains his senses. He’s okay but still in shock. And there’s some narration about the responsibilities of being born into the Hinata family. WTF, we don’t care…

Oh, good timing to introduce us to AAST. Anti-unidentified Ancients Special Team. Should’ve been ASSED… Anyway, they are made up of hot chicks from police forces specializing in weapons, combat, etc. And yeah, there’s Takeru who was a normal high school until he had to wear MARS and fight along with them. The reason was never told why… Yeah, I guess the writers couldn’t figure it out in time either. As they’re doing some escort mission, the usual boring job and idle chatter until their superior says stop talking and focus on the job. Yes, ma’am. Because it’s a death flag as Ancients attack! Oh sh*t! A police car just exploded! Time for some action. Stupid policemen just stand there to get his guts ripped! Takeru wears MARS to fight but there’s only so much he can deal with. Then there’s this Ancient boss (because he looks so different) he starts owning the AAST girls but how kind of him not to kill them so fast. Because Takeru is being given a prototype plasma rifle. It’s risky but it was designed with the MARS suit. He only has one shot at this because its recharge rate is super slow and it might go out of control. No wonder Takeru is so unconfident he can’t do it! Oh well. He has to. Because the AAST girls are continuing to get their ass whipped. F*ck, Ancient boss how long is he going to strangle that particular girl!? Takeru charges the plasma rifle up and shoots a hole right through the guts! Damn, that was sure easy!

Now what’s this? We hear a scientist explaining some mumbo-jumbo but ultimately he mentions about DNA samples found on Mars. What does this mean? Get ready for this. Humanity was from Mars! There was civilization on Mars! OMFG!!! No wonder the general can’t believe this crap! Back to the battle scene, oh sh*t, Ancient boss wakes up and walks towards Takeru! You mean nobody made sure it was dead???!!! Then surprise motherf*cker! IT SPEAKS!!! He blames that humans are the Martian invaders who invaded Earths and that Ancients are the real Earthlings!!! OMFG!! Are your minds blown now!!! Then the AAST girls pump plasma bullets into it. You can tell he is dead when he just freaking explodes!!!!! Oh man. After what we’ve seen, I can’t blame Takeru for being in so much shock.

D.O.T.A.: De-farce Of The Ancients
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh… You mean it’s over. But I haven’t finished laughing hard yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man… OH MAN… I guess they were right. It was so freaking bad that it was just good!!! So why didn’t this masterpiece get another sequel or its own TV series???!!! Oh right. Because unlike in today’s era and standards, I guess even way back in 2005 if your show is garbage, it means that is the end of you. No chance for redemption at all. So it is safe to say that this is truly one of the worst shows ever I have seen, even surpassing that 6 Angels crap that I saw last year. Phew. Good riddance. And to think that this was a horror genre (hence why it was mostly ‘acknowledged’ as the worst horror anime in history). Damn, it should’ve been comedy gold! Oh, what’s this about this anime is set in the year 2010?! I don’t even know where to begin… 10 years later in real time and we might not be getting those freaking Ancients but we have all the other nonsense that’s been going about. Yup. That’s the real horror story!

Okay, the very obvious fail is the quality of the production. From the start, you can tell that the quality of the animation is already crap. And to think that this was produced as an OVA. I feel sorry for those people who actually bought the DVD back then and only to be greeted with this horrendous quality. The animation quality is so off that you can obviously see the inconsistency in the characters. Yeah, upon closer look, they have this derp face and the likes. Like, WTF?! Oh, did I mention their movements also feel a bit robotic? Worse, they all look the same, especially the AAST girls. You only can differentiate them because of their different hair colour and hairstyle but even so, seeing how short this anime is, you won’t probably give a damn. And the Ancients’ design was just f*cking hilarious. I don’t know. Maybe somebody on the team got inspiration from those sentai genres. Yeah, Ancients look like those low level baddies. No wonder Ancient boss looks so much like some sentai type monster.

Next up are the action bits. Boy, it is sure f*cking laughable!!! Like as though they hired some D-grade actors to play the Ancient monsters and nobody has a clue on what fighting is. You just see the Ancients swinging their limbs and the AAST girls firing their pea shooter plasma guns that don’t even work. They thought they could scare us with a bit of some graphic violence such as head exploding and guts being ripped off and blood flying all over the place. But remember what I said about the production quality being so bad? Yup. It just makes it all look freaking funny! Oh well. We can’t complain. We’ve got our action. We’ve got our violence. We’ve got our blood and gore. What else more can you expect from a 20 minute long OVA???!!!

And yeah, the story. Oh boy. The story is a mess. Oh wait. Was there one to begin with? Something tells me that this OVA could have been just a promo and introduction and if the response was good, they’ll make more. Thank goodness it wasn’t and that’s the end of that. Good for both viewers and the producers too. We can now dump this thing in the garbage chute and forget it for all eternity. It saves the viewers from more watching and wasting time watching more atrocity and it also saves the producers from thinking about what crap to flesh out. Though, the interesting take is about humans being Martians but that itself wasn’t enough to save the entire story. Like as though when they wanted to write something based on this concept, they had no idea at all and was just winging it all the way. And then they go, “Hey, if people liked it, maybe we can come up with something and add more to the lore!”. Yeah… So it is sad that even the characters feel wasteful. Something about Takeru but we don’t care. Like as though they want to make him a clone of Neon Genesis Evangelion’s Shinji but they fail big time. Big time! And do you care about the other AAST girls even if they have names? Yup. Thought so.

OMG. The sound. The dialogue feels amateurish and like as though they just plucked someone out from the streets to do the voice acting. It just feels so weak. Yeah, hear the voice of those being killed? Or the Ancients’ moaning? Your heart will be conflicted to laugh or be cringe! And to think that Minori Chihara had a hand in this voicing one of the AAST girls! Was she?! I couldn’t even recognize her until I saw the credits! Not that I wanted to go back and hear and confirm her voice again but I guess you can’t expect a famous seiyuu to voice every hit anime, right? And the music, oh God, I think they really have no budget so they rip the music from several famous classical pieces. The obvious one being Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and Bach’s version of Ave Maria. Not to say other works didn’t borrow these pieces but for this one, every piece is borrowed! So don’t be surprised to hear Bond’s Victory and Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1. Hey, is that a Flash Gordon spoof I hear?! Not that any of the songs fit the scenes anyway.

Overall, this anime raises more questions than answers but at this point, we all just don’t f*cking care because it’s so horrendous and hilarious, we don’t even want to know anymore. The story, characters, animation, action, sound and all the quality is just so bad that it makes you think if there could be anymore that could be lower than this. Hence, the only thing way more interesting than watching this show is to read all the sarcastic comments about it! OMG. I was already laughing at all the bad stuffs here, now I am laughing at all the bad reviews calling this an absolute masterpiece! Oh man. This really made my day in such uncertain times. I think I’ve seen it all and nothing can surprise me anymore. Because when those guys from WHO suddenly come out and give startling discoveries about the Corona virus being the real Earthlings trying to kill us human invaders who invaded Earth, I think I know where they get their BS science from. And then it’s time to laugh real hard again. Or die laughing. Either way is good for me :-).

Anime Characters Who Draw Lewd Manga For A Living

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!!! I see that all of us made it through that year. I know that all of us want to start the new year fresh, filled with hope and change but I’m going to do a little experiment. I’m going to post the first blog of the year with somewhat a perverted topic. After all, last year was pretty twisted and perverted itself so it’s not going to make any difference or bring anymore surprises, right? Is this going to jinx the rest of the year? We shall soon see. Yeah…

For the longest time, men have always been fascinated about the act of sex. Or to be more specific, acts of porn. It is still a taboo subject in many parts of the world and society. But for the brave who are willing to defy the norm and provide us with such great materials, we salute them because here is the list of Anime Characters Who Draw Lewd Manga For A Living. Hey, not only porn stars rake in the cash, okay.

Kakushi Goto (Kakushigoto)
Trying to earn a living as an adult mangaka is already hard. Making it even harder is how he has to hide it all from his young innocent daughter and keep this secret like forever. Well, forever didn’t quite last…

Sagiri Izumi (Eromanga-sensei)
She is only 13 and she already is a prodigy in drawing erotic stuffs. It is no wonder she denies her Eromanga-sensei moniker when confronted by her brother, Masamune who is the author of an erotic series that she helps to illustrates.

Taketo Akutagawa (R-15)
Genius porn author! He is going to take the world by storm by becoming the greatest porn author ever! But first, he needs to attend a special school to fine tune all his creative juices. Porn will never be the same again. Although our carnal desires have remained so since time immemorial… He might not be making money yet but I’m sure he will once he graduates with flying colours.

Hanasaki Horie (Midara Na Ao-chan Benkyou Ga Dekinai)
Imagine your father who is the author of bestselling erotic novel series that would make any woman who read your works want to rush to bed and make loooooooove! And he had the gall to name his daughter based on some porn word…Definitely the Master Bait…

Otome Saotome (Shimoneta To Iu Gainen Ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu Na Sekai)
Commissioned to draw lewd stuffs as propaganda material to be distributed all over school, she’s the only one on the list who can skilfully draw lewd stuffs with her mouth!!! When your hands are tied, literally… And when she starts, she can’t stop her erotic passionate drawing fervour! Oh yeah. Her mouth game is so good!

Ahegao W Peace (Ore Ga Suki Nano Wa Imouto Dakedo Imouto Ja Nai)
Need the best erotic illustrator to illustrate and flesh out all the naughty bits of your story? She’s the woman for the job. Definitely satisfaction guaranteed. And her name even says it all!

Yuuki Aito (Mangaka-san To Assistant-san To)
You draw an ero manga but yet you don’t know stuffs and need some referencing. So how? The internet! Nah, just kidding. He ‘harasses’ his female employees to show their pantsu all in the name of reference material. Your guess is as good as mine the responses he’ll get. Seriously, the internet should’ve been way much easier, just saying…

Tarou Jiroumaru (Hanasaku Iroha)
Originally a romance novelist, but I guess just like any desperate writers facing the writer’s block, he had to turn to writing erotic adult stories just to pay for his seemingly permanent stay at the inn.

Miu Amano (Blend S)
Big sister type is the leader of a doujin circle that draws adult comics. Now, if you can blend in both tropes together, it’ll be the ultimate porn for those who love this kind of fetish. Fortunately or not, the anime didn’t go that far.

Kenji Aoyama (Futarigurashi)
Not much to say about this character since I stumbled upon it and didn’t complete watching the series. He’s just a guy who is aspiring to become an erotic mangaka but his gender bender cousin who is living with him, there’s a danger this might turn gay or something…

Jiraiya (Naruto)
Wasn’t a fan of this anime so I didn’t really see many episodes. But I did find out that he is the part time author of the adult novels called Icha Icha series that details his failed rejections by Tsunade. Yeah, he is so much more successful in making money out of this (cheque filled with zeroes?!) than getting his love through. Such sad irony…

Because Sex Sells!
This list is not meant to be exhaustive but that is so far those I could find. After all, it gets really hard trying to legitimately use the internet to search this topic because it’ll always bring up actual porn search results! No kidding! Sorry Google, not what I’m searching for! There are some I didn’t include like Hitoha Hongou (Araburu Kisetsu No Otome Domo Yo). Her editor pressured her into writing something erotic and not porn. With no experience, she eventually targets her own pathetic teacher and things get weird. And so I didn’t include her because she didn’t end up doing such manga. There’s also Hana Oshiroi (Ben-To) because this shy girl likes drawing erotic yaoi BL stuffs. This is just her hobby and as far as I know, she doesn’t do it as a job but for her own personal pleasure. Same case for Sora Tenkuuji (Dokyuu Hentai HxEros). She just draws erotic manga because it somewhat helps power up her H-energy. Don’t see her making money out of it. Does she?

Then there’s Itsuki Hashima (Imouto Sae Ireba Ii). He isn’t mainly an erotic writer. But Itsuki loves little sisters so much that he is willing to go so far at one point just to write erotic stuffs on them. Of course, rejected by his editor. Even his novelist colleague, Nayuta may be a pervert but it didn’t state she is mainly an erotic novelist. And Kaiko may love drawing pantsu on her characters but she isn’t also technically a main erotic illustrator. All in all, as long as we humans lust for desires of the flesh, there’ll be such mediums to provide and satiate our carnal desires indefinitely. And if books aren’t enough anymore, there are always the videos… Damn, so much to see!!!!!!!!!

Top Bishoujos of 2020

Tsk, tsk, tsk. It should be no surprise by now. Seeing how things went in 2020, nothing can shock me at this point. Or can it? If you have been following my blog, the last blog of the year is reserved for this special post. Yes, a shamelessly special blog post about the most beautiful 2D girls in animes I have watched for the year. Ever since 2015, the number has been steadily declining. It is no different this year. So you think it couldn’t get lower than last year? Well, it did. Guess who many made it to the nomination list? Yup. Only 15. Fifteen. Hey, got to be thankful that there is still a list for me to make. So without further ado and let’s get over this year already, here are the Top 10 Bishoujos of 2020 listed in alphabetical order:

1) Altena Elgard Ratis (Hataage! Kemono Michi)

2) Charlotte Roselei (Black Clover)

3) Chizuru Ichinose (Kanojo Okarishimasu)

4) Keine Kanzaki (Choujin Koukousei-tachi Wa Isekai Demo Yoyuu De Ikinuku You Desu)

5) Kotoko Iwanaga (Kyokou Suiri)

6) Mami Nanami (Kanojo Okarishimasu)

7) Mir Lotus (Geneshaft)

8) Sorane Matsuyama (Oshi Ga Budoukan Ittekuretara Shinu)

9) Sumireko “Pansy” Sanshokuin (Ore Wo Suki Nano Wa Omae Dake Ka Yo)

10) Veronica Thorne (Fairy Gone)

Congratulations to the top 10. As for the balance 5, they are (in alphabetical order of course): Ariadoa (Kono Yuusha Ga Ore Tueee Kuse Ni Shinchou Sugiru), Elise Katharina von Hohenheim (Hachi-nan Tte Sore Wa Nai Deshou), Lily Aquaria (Black Clover), Maria Campbell (Otome Game No Hametsu Flag Shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou Ni Tensei Shiteshimatta) and Ruka Sarashina (Kanojo Okarishimasu). What’s this that I should have just converted this to a top 15 bishoujo? Consistency is key, people! Just like how the number of hot 2D chicks keep declining year after year?! Oh well. Quality over quantity. Speaking of consistency. Sure didn’t forget about these 2 either (yeah, and they’re probably mad at 2020 too):

At this point of course there is a danger to even wonder if there will be a top 10 list. The chances are there but I am sure that when you hit the most bottom of the barrel, the only way left is to go up, up and up, right?! Unless I haven’t hit the bottom yet… That’s scary. Oh, blame it all on 2020. And somehow we’re all keeping that baseless positive faith that 2021 will be so much better. Lest 2020 was just a minor preview of 2021… Gotta stay positive now. Long Live Anime Bishoujos!

Anime Awards of 2020

Wow. What an eventful year 2020 has been. To some it must have been interesting. To others it must have been strange. And I’m sure to the rest and many, it was just plain sh*tty! Yeah. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs of this wretched year too. Especially when there was a period of time when some of the animes that I was watching got delayed or postponed! Oh, the horror! Damn, first world problems. But thankfully, here I am now and I have got to see a bunch of series that I thought I might never have ever touched had not the Corona virus wreak havoc. So can’t say it’s entirely a bad year for me. So for the second consecutive year, let me roll out the top and best anime stuffs for 2020. And some of the worst ones too:

Best 2020 Anime Series:

Kimetsu No Yaiba

Michael Jackson lives! Just kidding. Interesting storyline, amazing characters and most important of all, the intense action scenes proves that there are other series out there that could rival Shingeki No Kyojin. Never knew that cutting down demons was also as good as taking down Titans.

Other notable mentions:
* Kono Yuusha Ga Ore Tueee Kuse Ni Shnchou Sugiru: Best isekai anime ever when you have an overpowered hero being overly cautious for his own good and to everyone’s detriment! Also, Aki Toyosaki such a darling as Ristarte.
* Hataage! Kemono Michi: Wrestler guy wants to open a pet shop in another fantasy world. Blonde princess gets German suplex and showed the whole world her pantsu. Oh, I know the series is more than that but whatever…
* Jashin-chan Dropkick S2: More dropkick and Jashin bloody massacre madness!!! What else do you expect?!
* Last Period: Owarinaki Rasen No Monogatari: Great parodies that left me laughing my ass out loud. Wiseman best characters of the series!
* Appare-Ranman: A couple of Japanese guys, a white, a black, a native Indian, a Chinese, an European white and a couple of Latino bros go on a road trip across America. Oops, I mean a race across America.

Worst 2020 Anime Series:

Maou-sama Retry

WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS ATROCITY THAT WASTED OUR TIME?! Bad story, bad animation, uninteresting characters that make us think that everybody on the production team didn’t want to do this and purposely made it so bad just to get fired. But they didn’t and we’ve got 12 episodes of revolting crap!

Other notable mentions:
* Hatena Illusion: Could have been sharing the top spot for the sh*ttiest anime of the season if not for reasons being gaugau gau! Gaugaugaugau gau gaaaaaauuuuuuu gaugau gau!!! DO YOU NOT SEE WHY THIS SUCKS?!
* Arifureta Shokugyou De Sekai Saikyou: THIS IS GETTING ANOTHER SEASON???!!! When the main character tried stuffing a huge pole in a horny dragon’s ass…
* Shin Chuuka Ichiban: What a way to destroy a legacy with this remake… Thankfully the original one is still resonating inside my heart.
* Samurai Gun: So episodic and unrelated that I’m not even sure what to make out of it.
* Gangsta: Okay, I know this is unfair. This is only here because of the FREAKING CLIFF-HANGER ENDING!!!!!!!!!!! Otherwise this is quite cool and good with its bloody violent gory action sequences.
* Tower Of God: Okay, very unfair for this series to be here. Shouldn’t be here at all. Only so because F*CK RACHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weirdest 2020 Anime:

Kurozuka

Uhm… Aside the great bloody action, do you understand what’s going on? Some guy looking for a hot chick for eternity… I think…

Other notable mentions:
* Rikei Ga Koi Ni Ochita No De Shoumei Shitemita: Trying to explain love via science? WEIRD!
* C: The Money Of Soul And Possibility Control: So this is what they do with loads of money, huh? Saving the economy of the world, huh? Money makes the world go round, huh? Truly, Money, money, money, must be funny, in a rich man’s world!

Best 2020 Anime Short & Ecchi Anime:

Anime De Wakaru Shinryounaika

Do you like dick jokes with sexy nurses? You’ve come to the right anime! What a way to highlight the myriad of mental illnesses with twisted and dirty minded nurses making sexual subtexts. How enlightening and entertaining! I guess all of us have some sort of mental illness whether we know it or not!

Worst Anime Short:

The Irresponsible Galaxy Tylor

THEY LITERALL DESTROYED HIS LEGACY WITH THIS SHORT GARBAGE!!!!!!!! SUCH IRRESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!

Other notable mentions:
* Tenka Hyakken Meiji-kan E Youkoso: I didn’t play the game, I just didn’t get it. Enough said.

Weirdest 2020 Ecchi Anime:

Ishuzoku Reviewers

Not going to lie on you about this one. Watching guys humping all sorts of different species just made me feel weird out rather than horny. Doesn’t mean if one has a dick, one has to put it into all sorts of vaginas that walk the land.

Other notable mentions:
* Val x Love: Ugliest guy gets to molest hot beautiful Valkyries to power up to save the world. WHAAAAAAAAT????!!!!
* Dokyuu Hentai HxEros: Using the power of horniness to destroy alien bugs to save the world. WHAAAAAAAAT????!!!!
* Kandagawa Jet Girls: How do you turn jet ski into such a sleazy sport?! This is your answer…

Best 2020 Romance Anime:

Ore Wo Suki Nano Wa Omae Dake Yo

A bit misleading because of all the romance anime series that I watched, I guess I prefer this one. Some witty lines here and there, I guess it’s pretty good.

Other notable mentions:
* High Score Girl II: Oh well, it was a bittersweet ending for our arcade lovebirds. And not enough retro arcade games!!!

Most Boring 2020 Romance Anime:

Yesterday Wo Uttate

Definitely not one of the best (or near it) but at the same it isn’t the worst. Just boring. So if you ever get rejected and then friendzoned by your crush, just fall back on your backup girl.

Best 2020 Anime Song:

Daddy Daddy Do (Kaguya-sama Wa Kokurasetai S2)

Sequel does live up to the catchy tune of its first season. Like as though this is its spiritual successor.

Other notable mentions:
* Ikouze Paradise (Ishuzoku Reviewers): Imagine YMCA with sexy lyrics.
* With You (Gangsta): MAMIKO NOTO SINGING???!!! OH MAH GAWD!!! DIDN’T KNOW SHE SOUNDED THIS GOOD!!!!
* Good Night (Itai No Wa Iya Nano De Bougyoryoku Ni Kyokufuri Shitai To Omoimasu): Cool acoustic guitar pickings amidst the tropical samba feel is the only thing I look forward in this boring generic clichéd overpowered character in a virtual MMORPG.
* Tsuri No Sekai E (Houkago Teibou Nisshi): Fishing might be boring but this jazzy catchy piece might just make it all bearable.

Weirdest 2020 Anime Song:

Jikuu No Mayoi Hito (Hachi-nan Tte Sore Wa Nai Deshou)

WOAH! Did I just hear a song that summons the Demon King????!!!! Is this song what satanic cultists listen to???!!!

Other notable mentions:
* Hajimete No Kakumei (Choujin Koukousei-tachi Wa Isekai Demo Yoyuu De Ikinuku You Desu): What… WHAT?! I felt this song grabbed me by the balls…
* Easy Breezy (Eizouken Ni Wa Te Wo Dasu Na): Macarena with drugs…

That is all for this year. Thousand apologies if it is still somewhat incomplete and not much of a major improvement from last year. Yeah, I’m going to blame 2020 as the culprit. Everyone does! So hopefully that next year would bring better animes (based on my guts and experience, not very likely) but thanks to my on the fence stance, so much more animes are mostly lingering in the average zone. That’s why you don’t really see the animes I have seen for the year on this list. Not notable enough to be listed? Or have I forgotten about them? Oh well, this year is done. Better to quickly move on and look forward to the next. See you again then. Same time, same place, next year! 2021 will be the one! Hopefully…